#kinda contradictory to the whole story but ya know what I love it and it works for me!

[garnet-xx-rose]

I think there's a fascinating irony in that Ramin and Sierra portrayed the "tragic love story" concept Andrew Lloyd Webber was trying to convey with Phantom since the beginning and yet Ramin and Sierra are like the pinnacle of hot theater people.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

Oh Deer-

Is what I feel when I realize what kind of the stuff I was into when I was a kid-

Okay, so, a weird Kyle contradiction, or "kontradiction" if you will...

As a young'un in the late 1990s and early-to-mid 2000s, I *loved* hunting games. Stuff like, you know, DEER HUNTER and CABELA'S DANGEROUS HUNTS. I was literally addicted to those kinds of games...

Yet, I've never hunted in real life, and ever since I came of age and matured over the years, I never really wanted to.

I kinda condemn it, actually, unless you're gonna eat the animal. Ya know, a nice venison dinner?

Hunting, from what I see, tends to be associated with conservatism and such. I mean, it makes sense, conservatives worship the NRA. Republicans feel a gun has more rights than most people. I was raised in a fairly conservative household, but I grew out of those beliefs... Like I am on the left, I'm also autistic, queer, non-binary, all the things that make me a bad American and somebody who is absolutely going to Hell. So, as you'd expect, in a cliche manner... I don't like hunting much, I don't own a gun, I think strict gun control should be a thing in my country... I've never even eaten venison, for that matter. My meat-eating goes as far as domesticated animals, although I've had duck before. I like duck, duck is tasty. Don't worry, Daffy, I'm on your side, not Elmer's!

Why did I love these games so much as a kid? The very same kid who always had BAMBI as one of their all-time favorite films (and still has it as a favorite)?

I have a weird nostalgic fondness for some of those games. Maybe it's less because of the "shooting animals" part and more because of the simulation part: Being in a wilderness setting without the sensory stuff, right at your computer!

Or television! Whatever you were playing it on...

And also when, you hunted an animal, you often got to look at it in these games. One of the things that really fascinated me about deer when I was a child was the construction of their antlers. I had this whole phase when I was 7-8, where I just drew deer all the time. I still draw 'em! Here's an elk I whacked out in December 2019 for a "Deercember" challenge:

I wouldn't shoot that fella!

I guess it's kinda like GTA, and how in real life I'd *abhor* doing what goes down in those games, but when you play it... Well, you have some sense of media literacy and being able to differentiate a game from reality.

So, as a kid, I didn't overthink it. I played DEER HUNTER Whatever, I constantly watched my VHS of BAMBI, drew deer nonstop. Maybe I was just really fascinated by deer and nature and creatures, even if the game I was playing required me to k-word them.

Nowadays, while I have fond memories of playing those games, I sometimes get struck by how fucking contradictory some of us human beings can be.

My 31-year-old liberal autistic queer ass who loves BAMBI and really isn't into hunting and really wants strict gun control... also unironically likes hunting games and knows an alarming amount about firearms (don't worry, it was mostly for stories that I write!) and such. I guess it's similar to abhorring the NRA and how easy it is to own guns, while also being big on FPSes and action movies where tons of people get swiss cheesed by machine guns.

Again... Media literacy. It's all better when you have a layer of that to ya.

[thetypedwriter]

Cold Iron Heart Book Review

Cold Iron Heart by Melissa Marr Book Review 

I don’t think many people are aware or have read the Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr, but that’s alright. I originally started this book blog as I had so many thoughts and feelings about the books I was reading and yet no one to share them with. 

So I might be talking to me, myself and I in this book review, but at the end of the day, it’s still a way for me to express how I feel about the literature I’m consuming even if no one else is reading this. 

Wicked Lovely is one of my favorite series from when I was young. I still remember very clearly how my love story with these books started as it was odd and coincidental. I was at the grocery store with my mom and a promised “quick” trip quickly turned into an hour-long shopping spree as my mother was prone to do. 

Back then I was in middle school, had no cell phone, and was bored out of my mind. So what is any pre-teen to do? I went over to the small, sad book selection in the grocery story and picked up the novel with the most interesting cover. 

This book was Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. 

I read it the rest of the day and finished it that night, consuming page after page. I was completely transfixed. It was dark, gritty, violent, sexy-all things that my twelve-year old self found entirely fascinating. 

It was a fantasy book about fairies, but these fairies were deadly, life-sized, cruel, violent, beautiful and loving. 

I’ve been enamored with fairies and fairy lore ever since. All because of this book and the series that followed. It hooked me in ways that I still don’t fully comprehend, but I understood then that I hadn’t read anything like it before and I was drawn into Melissa Marr’s world and never quite left it, even all these years later. I’ve gone back and re-read Wicked Lovely multiple times and each time I still found it enjoyable and alluring. 

Cold Iron Heart is a different beast. 

A few days ago, my best friend (who is a journalist) sent me an email saying that local Arizona author, Melissa Marr, was releasing a new book and that she might have the opportunity to interview her. 

I was ecstatic, of course, and not so subtly tried to persuade my friend to let me silently snoop in on the interview (I didn’t, by the way). 

It was then that I realized I hadn’t checked in on Melissa Marr for some time-what had she been writing? Imagine my surprise that one of my favorite series of all time not only had a new book-a prequel no less, but also several new short stories. 

I was flabbergasted. And beyond excited. 

So I ordered the book immediately and read it the moment it arrived on my doorstep to eventually find myself with...mixed feelings with a negative tinge. Okay, more than a tinge, more like a cascading waterfall of negative feelings. 

First off, the book is a prequel. 

Now. Melissa Marr could have done so many cool things with this. There are so many interesting characters that I would have loved to see more in depth or delve into their histories. 

Like Miach and Beira, for example. I’ve heard about the late Summer King since book 1, but never got to read about him as he was dead before the series began. However, his legendary love with Beira, the Winter Queen, would have been so incredibly bewitching to read about it, especially if it involved the birth of Keenan. 

This would have been an awesome choice. 

Irial and Niall would have been another incredible one, probably the best one. We’ve been told over and over again throughout the series that these two hot-heads with a past used to run the Dark Court together, wreaking havoc, taking lovers, seeking new heights, etc. 

But do we get to see this transfixing time? Nope. 

I would even have settled for a story about the Hunt, Sorcha and Bannanach, literally any character done in the right way. 

But...no. Melissa Marr decides to write a prequel that is literally a carbon copy of the first book Wicked Lovely, but innumerably worse. 

Everything in the prequel is exactly the same as the original novels. Miach is dead, Keenan is looking for his Summer Queen, the Winter Girl is pissed off for not being the chosen love of Keenan’s, Irial is temptation in the flesh, Niall and Irial are at odds, Bananach is causing discord, Sorcha is isolated and frigid, the list goes on and on. 

Nothing of consequence, novelty, or importance happens in this book. 

Frankly, it just felt like a terrible redo of the first novel, just set 100 years back. 

I didn’t give a single flying crap about Thelma or Tam or whatever her name was. She was a worse version of Leslie, of Aislinn, of every other cool female character we eventually get to read about in the main series. 

Thelma was contradictory in the worst of ways. She said one thing, like she would rely on no man and never have children and then turned around and did every single one of them like some sort of hypocrite galore. 

She was so irritating and boring to read about that I tended to skim her parts because it was just paragraph after paragraph of bitching and moaning about the same goddamn things over and over again: stay away from fairies, oh god this fairy likes me, no sex, no children, no love and then bam! She just throws it all away. 

Urgh. 

The worst part too is that this isn’t a well written book. It’s repetitive, quite boring at times, and caters way too much to the reader. 

Something I loved about the first Wicked Lovely is that Melissa Marr kinda just tosses you into her world and calls it a day. She doesn’t hold your hand or over explain. She just describes and lets you glean for yourself. 

I loved this aspect of the original series. I liked learning about her world and the characters this way. 

Cold Iron Heart spits on the idea of this concept. Marr repeats herself so much about the same things, who Irial is, what fairies are, why this is happening, that I grew increasingly irritated as the book went on. 

Who on earth is she explaining this for? New readers? Why in the world would any new reader start with this book? The newest one that comes after six others???? It makes no goddamn sense. 

So not only did I feel patronized and aggravated, but the love story between Thelma and Irial grated on me as there was no basis for their love. 

It was ridiculous with no shred of authenticity and I hated it, especially knowing that he already loves Niall and Leslie only to come back and say, “wait a moment! I had another true love that I’ve never mentioned before. Yeah. Her name was Thelma. Or Tam. Or whatever, I don’t know. I knew her for three days, most of which was just sex, and then I lost her after she had my baby but I conveniently forgot about it because of nonsensical plot! Hahahah, good right?”

No. Not good. Horrible. 

Overall, this book is a waste of time and trees. 

I don’t know why Melissa Marr even wrote and published this. I can see her writing this for herself because why not, but as a fan and a reader this was beyond disappointing. 

It’s like how all Harry Potter fans felt when J.K. Rowling wrote The Cursed Child and we got movies about Newt Scamander when we literally wanted anything else-Marauder series anyone??

It’s a particular kind of egregious offense when a favorite series or author of yours ends up ruining the canon you’re in love with. For that reason alone, I am stripping Cold Iron Heart from my heart and mind, like it never existed. 

Just like I did with Cursed Child, or the fact that you-know-who dies in Death Note (if you know, you know). I just...don’t believe it. It ruined all the lovely things Marr had previously written and the stories that defined so much of my love for YA, for fantasy, and for my own writing as a whole. 

I know for a lot of you this was a bumbling mess of a review with little to no clarity of the plot or who these characters are. Frankly, I’d be surprised if you are still reading if you didn’t know the book or the series in the first place, but that’s alright. 

Like I said at the beginning, this is a way to get my intense feelings and thoughts down onto paper and now that I have I feel marginally better, although still pissed off that this book exists and that I currently own it. 

Sigh. 

Well if you stuck around for the ride, I appreciate it. If you skipped this particular book review, I understand that too. 

Recommendation: Burn this book. However, if you want a gritty, tantalizing fantasy story, pick up the original Wicked Lovely and be whisked away into a world that has stuck with me since the first moment I read it on the fateful day at the grocery store. 

Score: 3/10

[we-rate-tmnt]

Haven't seen rottmnt yet, so I'll ask for karai! :D

Nice! Thanks for the ask, I’m going to put everything under the cut.

Okay, lets start with the first Karai (that I know of)

2003 Karai!

I thought that she was a really neat character in the first few seasons, staying with her honor, helping out the turtles and I even thought she’d break off from the Shredder. She had a very contradictory personality and it’s so neat to see her change from being the character with honor and respect to going ‘alright I’m gonna be Shredder now’. It was a crazy change, but it made a lot of sense. My memories of the last three seasons are fuzzy but I don’t think she appeared too much in the last two. Overall, cool character, never was a fan of the headband and badass. 

7/10

Now let’s move on to the Karai I watched in third grade.

2012 Karai

Sit down, this is gonna be long. 

Um pretty, amazing, gorgeous, fierce, well thought out, did I mention I had a HUGE crush on her when I was like 10. That aside, I think she’s my favorite version of Karai! In the first season, the cliche of her being Shredder’s daughter was I think less for ‘shock value’ and was a clear decision. Once it’s revealed that Shedder nabbed her from Splinter and was really Miwa, that solidifies the decision. The way they unveiled this was done with planning and delicacy. 

She’s rebellious, doesn’t care about good or evil as long as she has fun. But when it comes to the world potentially being destroyed or mutated or taken over, she realizes it’s seriousness and takes the turtles side on this, wanting to know more. They agree to a deal and when the turtles try to take out Shredder, she reveals that he’s her father. She’s not against the Shredder, she’s just noticing how trivial his revenge looks compared to the end of the world (like everyone EXCEPT the Shredder). 

In the finale (I think??), Shredder has told Splinter that ‘haha bitch I took away something important from you, ya know, your daughter.’ It’s frustrating and sad to know this as an audience while Karai continues to push them away. Then we get to the whole episode of Karai finding out that Splinter is her real father. The picture of her mother and Splinter is shown, Karai connects it all together and that Splinter didn’t kill her father, the Shredder did. 

She turns on the Shredder, but then tries to go back and avenge her mother and Splinter for everything Shredder has done to them and what he’s done to her. A reasonable reaction when you find out your ‘dad’ was manipulating you and tricking you into hunting down your real father. She gets captured and is used as bait to lure out Splinter and the turtles. And it works! A little too well, Karai gets mutated into A COOL ASS SNAKE WOW.

My memory gets fuzzy here but Karai saves Splinter when he looses his memory and is ‘dead’ the first time. The turtles find her and she says goodbye because the Shredder is hunting her and if she gets captured again, it’ll just cause more trouble for them.

And she was right. She gets captured and infected but a brain controlling worm. I don’t really care or remember this but this was another interesting decision the creators made. 

When the Shredder gets defeated right at the end of the space arc, she decides to rebuild the foot and bring honor back to her clan. Now, you could say that the Hamato clan was were she really belonged, but she had trained, lived and became part of the foot clan. She’s seen everything in it and knows that it needs to be cleansed of the Shredder’s influence. 

I really liked those episodes because she made an independent decision that was important to her and fit her character. It also led to emo Leo, Shinigami (another badass lady childhood crush) and some plot setup. 

I’m not going to go over the rest of the seasons, so I’m gonna add some more notes.

Her design is so appealing with the color scheme, shapes and little nuances here and there. They never explained how she not only could turn back into a human but had two tiny snake heads where her hand were??? The implication of her and Leo being romantic partners was just plain gross and I’m glad they laid off of it after awhile. 

Edit: Her voice actor was PERFECT, snarky, suave and an edge of intense, evil like-ness to her tone.

9/10!

Now, for the Karai I know the least about...

IDW Karai

She’s pretty and rocking those bangs but I don’t like how the Shredder uses her. She’s also SO DAMN INTENSE CHILL OUT FOR A MINUTE GIRL. Kinda funny in a ‘haha she’ll kill me’ way, like Rosa from Brooklyn 99. I hope I’ll have a better analysis of her later when I catch up on the comic.

6/10

And the nonexistent...

Rise Karai

Karai hasn’t turned up or even been mentioned in Rise, and I don’t think she will, at least in normal context. The Shredder isn’t really a villain, so she won’t be the normal ‘Shredders daughter/second in command.’ I think that the Foot Recruit is a sort of substitute for her so far, but I’d love to see what she would be in this series since her main connection to the turtles is Shredder. So no rating for this.

Fun fact: Karai means Spicy in Japanese.

Story time: My half-brother/uncle grew up with the 80′s cartoon so when he asked me who I had a crush on and I said Karai, he had no clue who it was. I said ‘well she’s Shredders daughter’ and he was like ‘wait wait wait so like, did Kraang and Shredder go out and adopt a kid or something???’ and I can’t stop thinking about it.

If you have anything to add on, please reblog or comment about it! 

[frankie-catfish-morales]

Okay. My issues & fave things for Frozen 2 - Masterpost.

Spoilers and negativity beyond the cut. But also positivity! Cause I did like some things.

- The Negatives - 

1. I have serious qualms about the notion that Elsa doesn’t feel like she “belongs” in Arendelle. With her sister. And the family they built. The reason for this is simple. Every single piece of canon that has ever been produced by this franchise has said otherwise. They were separated 10 years (ish). They never wanted to be apart again. As recently as TWO YEARS ago (probably not that long in the movie timeline) Disney produced a short emphasizing their built family, and how home is wherever Anna is. Olaf gets lost in the woods, the wilderness, and they have to go find him because they all belong together. Elsa shows literally no interest in the woods nor being in the wilderness. She then proceeds to sing “When We’re Together” with Anna, and sings this TO Anna:

It frankly feels to me like they forgot what this franchise was all about and the foundations that they have been building it on. Elsa and Anna. Together. The way they have written these characters, to me, is not convincing that they would EVER wish to separate. 

You can argue to me that “Elsa isn’t that far away”. Yes, that is true. She could ice luge down the hill and see Anna and the fam. But you know what else wasn’t that far away? Elsa’s room. Separate is separate. Living with someone with no shut doors and not living with someone but visiting sometimes is not the same. And the characters have stated several times across four releases of visual media and COUNTLESS Disney produced merch that they do not wish to separate. Ever. It’s not just how it has been written.

Now,  I can understand the idea that they were trying to communicate that Elsa was feeling unfulfilled, but it is 100% contradictory with every other piece of literature about this story they have put out, so to me, it made no sense character arc wise. It  was too sudden for it to come up right now, rushed in an opening song for the final movie. Olaf’s Frozen Adventure didn’t come out that long ago, so to me this feels like a complete 180. 

Perhaps what they were trying to say in this movie is that if Elsa didn’t leave, Anna would never allow herself to have a fucking life. You can see this possibly in the scene where Anna leaves with Kristoff without saying anything, and trying to insist on coming with Elsa even if it’s pretty clear she would be in serious danger. You can also see this a bit in the lyrics to “The Next Right Thing”:

“I follow you around I always have But you've gone to a place I cannot find”

“I don't know anymore what is true I can't find my direction, I'm all alone The only star that guided me was you How to rise from the floor When it's not you I'm rising for?” 

Anna does put Elsa before anyone and anything else, even herself. But if THAT is what they are trying to say, they are basically saying Anna and Elsa’s relationship is and has been toxic, or having toxic qualities, and that’s really saying fucked up shit about the whole franchise. Especially because there are so many fans out there who really connected with that aspect of Frozen.

2. I am, quite frankly, really TIRED of the trope that powerful magical women *can’t* be queens. Because they don’t “belong”, because they are “out of touch”, because they need to leave, they need to die (*cough* Daenerys Targaryen), or that they were “mad” or not good for society. That their strength is too much for them to be in society or be a queen. I think it’s quite empowering that Elsa feels free, but I do not like the concept that she couldn’t feel free and be a good queen. That she abdicated and basically rolled out, extremely rushed and in a moment where a lot was already happening. It’s like her being queen in the first place wasn’t even important. And no, she is NOT queen of the Northumbra (I will go into this assertion in my next bulletpoint).  You aren't just automatically queen of something when you aren't coronated or acknowledged by who you are ruling as such in any fashion.  I highly doubt the Native population would make some white girl they just met their queen. Elsa stepped down, and she is now a liaison between the enchanted forest and Arendelle. She’s an ambassador, and Anna is now Queen. Which, if we took the implications out of it, would be fine. I don’t dislike Anna. She’s grown so much, she’d be a wonderful queen. I just think Elsa should still be queen. Elsa can still be a liaison between the realms. Who better to be queen than a woman who is a liaison and has the interests of Arendelle, the Enchanted Forest, and the elements? You can tell me “She didn’t want to be Queen!” as much as you want, but lets get really into the facts here. She suddenly “didn’t want to be queen” because she was written that way. It could have been written differently and would have been in character.

It bothered me so much that Disney Parks thought it was a good idea for the face characters in the parks to come out in the final outfits literally ONE DAY before the movie came out. I had this plot aspect spoiled to me (and I’m not in the spoiler culture but that was a really big plot point to spoil so lets get real here, I’m allowed to be upset) because people posted pictures of Anna in her crown with the tags # Queen Anna, before the movie was even released. I immediately didn’t like it, but I wanted to try and stay positive that it would be convincing, but it honestly just continued to rub me wrong. It feels like they were trying to get cheap “YAS KWEEN” moments for both the Elsa fandom and the Anna fandom, and I felt like it was empty and unnecessary. Anna is a badass regardless. She didn’t need that for a “YAS KWEEN” moment. She has quite a few incredible, powerful, and strong AF moments. I  love her without that.

3. I mentioned in point 2 that “Elsa is not queen of the Northumbra.” The reason I mentioned that is because a friend of mine thought that and was confused. Which brings me to my 3rd point. The mythology and plot that they constructed for this movie was extremely confusing, didn’t explain enough, and had too many plot-holes. That friend and a few of the people she saw the movie with thought Queen Iduna was Queen of the Northumbra. She wasn’t. Another thought she had wind powers. She doesn’t. She was just playing in the wind elemental when Agnarr saw her.

Some more questions:

Did literally none of the Northumbra know their chief was murdered?! Why wasn’t that ever brought up if they did now, and if they didn’t, why didn’t they remember? 

How did the kingdom of Arendelle not realize what sea Queen Iduna and King Agnarr were sailing to? Why would this have never come up before? Oh, Anna and Elsa, your parents were on the way to Rapunzel’s wedding or Tarzan world, but then turned around and set sail on this completely separate, very dangerous sea and we never told you. This, to me, is why the movie was poorly written, no one has any fucking idea what actually happened in some scenes.

4. Speaking of Queen Iduna, if she is Northumbra, and she is used to being around elemental magic ALL THE TIME, why did she react to Elsa’s powers at first the way she did? Why did she interpret the troll’s advice the way she did? WHy did she support and enable Elsa’s father shutting her up and away when she know’s first hand the elementals were good and what those powers could do? 

And like the whole movie was supposed to be why Elsa had magic and I still have no idea. That was not explained well. She's the 5th element? Ice isn't an element. Ice is water. If she’s an element, is she going to die? Or when Anna dies is she going to live forever as an elemental-human hybrid wandering the woods sobbing like Arwen Undomiel was cautioned of? Is it was because her mom saved her dad, linking the two nations? Her good deed gave her power? Like Harry Potter? Okay, but why ice specifically. Anna said that Elsa was “the last piece”. But of what? Of the elements? Again, ice isn’t an element. Ice is water. Water was covered. Was it because she had to right the wrong of the grandfather building the dam and killing the chief of Northumbra? But Anna destroyed the dam with the elementals. Was it so she could find out the truth about what happened? She could have done that without ice powers. Why was it ice? What was the significance of the cave Alhalla (Alhambra?)? Why could she only find out the answers there? Why are we supposed to believe Elsa wants to routinely hang out in a secluded ice cave that is a huge downgrade from her awesome ice castle instead of being with her sister? Is it cause her mother is there? Who is family? So why can’t she lie with Anna, her other family, and visit the cave when she wishes?

The concept of elements and Elsa having some sort of relationship to it, the IDEA is so good, I just was seriously disappointed in how it was executed. I think the only explanation we have here is: “the spirits gave her her powers to unite everyone." And that wasn’t enough for me. WHY ICE THO. 5. I did not, at all, in any way, like when Elsa saw that memory of her singing “Let It Go” and was like, embarrassed of it? Like, “Oh my godddd I did that, how EMBARRASSING....”......That moment means so much to a lot of people, and I felt like that was really OOC and kinda disrespectful. That song is an anthem for people with mental issues and people in the LGBTQ community and it just felt wrong to me. Did NOT like that.

6. I really really wish that Anna x Kristoff AND Anna x Elsa had a longer duet than what was in “Some Things Never Change” and the lullaby reprise. Their voices together are BEAUTIFUL. I think it a missed opportunity, especially when reunited with Elsa and Kristoff. Anna could have had a brief duet with Elsa, and then with Kristoff when he proposes, and then they all sing together for a finale into Anna’s coronation. I am aware there is a duet with Anna and Kristoff in the Delue edition but the version is pretty rough and, it didn’t make it into the film so I’m not counting it.

- The Positives - 

1. The character development. I must confess that I was not a Frozen fan when it first came out. I think I saw it, wasn’t too impressed, then went to Walt Disney World in December 2014, became so over-saturated with Frozen fever literally taking over EVERYTHING, that I became annoyed and resistant. I did re-watch it several times months later to try and get back on board, but I always felt like the plot in the middle was weak, meandered with no purpose, and the whole “Anna wasn’t saved by a man” (which she was. She wouldn’t have gotten to Elsa at all without Kristoff. She would have died in the snow) was less powerful because everyone was acting like Brave didn’t happen. Like it was the first movie to have someone saved by true love through someone other than a love interest. But I’m not re-visiting that shit, I just wanna enjoy Frozen for what it is and gave me positively, which is what I’m gonna do with Frozen 2 when I cathartically post this. The reason I’m going into this is because, I wasn’t expecting strong writing with the plot of Frozen 2, because of the precedent set. But I was SO excited, so HYPE, I literally went day after opening. One thing  I WAS expecting the themes to remain true to the franchise, but we won’t discuss that again. I grew to love Elsa deeply through my own struggle with mental illness (anxiety, depression, adhd). Apparently I have a lot in common with her too. Consuming her in other forms (Frozen on Broadway, Once Upon a Time, meeting her in the Parks) deepened her character and made her more understandable. And Anna. OOF. Was not a fan at all. But I LOVE her now too.  And in this movie. WOW. They were so amazing and rich, and brave, badass, strong, flawed, relatable, and the GROWTH. The way they reacted to things, even if I didn’t like most plot points, was done so well. It really felt like them even though a huge growth jump happened. I could see how they got from A to B. The character writing (other than the things mentioned earlier) was very strong and I’m proud to say I love them so much more after this movie.

2. The music. I have never particularly liked Idina’s voice but she sounds SO amazing, unique, memorable, emotional, vulnerable, and open in both of her songs. 

“Show Me” is personally my favorite, and that whole sequence was just fucking breath-taking, the message so special. Seeing her break down all her walls during that song journey was one of the best parts of the movie. I’ve been dealing with A LOT lately, and this song really just made me feel like things might work out if I continue to be strong and believe in myself, if only for a few minutes.

“Into the Unknown” was such a great tease as being the best Elsa song, and I love that they added that wacky Norwegian singer Aurora in there. I just didn’t particularly like some of the lyrics about Elsa feeling like she didn’t belong. Explained above. 

Olaf’s “This is Fine” song had me smiling so big and is quite literally an eternal mood. *insert Brooklyn 99 “I’m such a Samantha”.gif* “Some Things Never Change” was a great intro song, I love when the 4 get to duet together, though some of Elsa’s lyrics, again, not a fan. 

Anna’s song, despite the things mentioned above, was honestly the most powerful song to me. It’s not something that makes me feel good, or something I will be able to listen to often. But, as someone who struggles with depression and finding the motivation to do anything when something scary or terrible happens, this song was so sososososoosososoososo fucking important to hear. I was crying. I started crying when Olaf poofed and I kept crying through this song.

But by far, the greatest part of this movie, was Kristoff’s 90′s Poison-inspired power ballad. I was fucking CRYING with laughter. SO so good. I have been waiting for a song for Jonathan Groff and this was NOT a disappointment. The backup singers. The imagery! THE BACKUP SINGERS.

3. The beauty. It was just beautiful. Like I don’t know what else to say. The animation was gorgeous. Stunning. I’m in awe.

Other things:

- Olaf giving the recap to the Northumbra

- THAT scene with Anna and Olaf

- Elsa’s hair journey

- ELSAMAREN RIGHTS

- ELSA TAMING THE NOKK

-  When Kristoff finally proposes

- KRISTOFF’S FINAL LOOK. A WHOLE SNACK.

- BRUNI. BRUNI IS BABY.

- The fact that Elsa’s sexuality was left open ended, with the possibility for Elsamaren to be a thing. If they couldn’t outright make her gay, I think this was a good way to keep everyone happy. You could really continue her story anywhere.

Like I said earlier, I’m gonna get over this super fast. It’s Disney, and I’m not trying to get all riled up for months like I did over some TRULY terrible writing. I just wanted to get my annoyances out. I’ve already listened to this soundtrack 6 times in a row, have learned the lyrics to show yourself, and am almost in the mood to see it again. Maybe in a little bit.

Anyways, THAT IS ALL OF IT FOR NOW. I may add more BS later. If  you disagree, that’s fine, but I’m not really going to fight with people about this. I just wanted to get my thoughts out and reach out to other people who were maybe a little disappointed.

[venus-says]

Aikatsu on Parade! Episode 18

Taking a step forward to the next entrance.

I think we can say Aikatsu on Parade! has reached its climax with this episode. This was what everything was leading towards and it was a pretty decent conclusion for this story. Sadly that's, not where everything ends so... it's a bit confusing.

To me, the biggest problems of this episode was a few inconsistencies with the rest of the series, and also the fact that this was a story that was solved on itself in a single episode. To begin, there was no lead up to this episode, and this is pretty much a problem that can be said about most of the on Parade episodes, it feels completely isolated from all of the previous episodes. And it really had no reason for being like that, we have at least more 5 episodes to go, you could make 18 and 19 be "fillers" and have this concludes on episode 20 or 21, like come up with a random story for 18, maybe something focused on the new units and make the invite for the Brand Collab Collection happen here, then have the valentine episode happen, for episode 20 we see Raki struggling to find inspiration to conclude her dress, and then you have episode 21 be pretty much exactly like this one and it would be a very compelling way to wrap up this story.

And I say this because this should've been a huge moment for Raki after all this is where her dream finally came true, but we've spent so little time with her, heck we saw more of her design process with her copied PRs than with her original one, the one that she had been working for through this entire show, and we barely saw anything of it.

Also, here became evident that on Parade has very bad logistics, everyone here it's saying how important it is that Raki is making her FIRST Premium coord, and this is the episode where her Brand is introduced, but the show forgot that she has been wearing Maple Ribbon since episode 1 so everyone already knows that she has a brand and also she already designed THREE Premium Rare coords before so this isn't her first. I think if in the game Raki's brand didn't exist up until the latest update and all coords that she made through-out the show were either brandless or corresponding of each brand she was copying from this moment would've made sense, but that's not what it happened so it's this weird situation where everything feels contradictory.

But oh well, this post isn't supposed to be a rant on Aikatsu flawed planning, it's about episode 18 so I'll try to retain myself to talk only about the anime.

I like the concept of this episode, and having Sora, Koharu, and Hime, as main mentors for this episode was a really good decision. I mean, Sora is our first Idol that's also the designer for her own brand, Koharu's whole story was kinda to lead her to the moment where she creates Rainbow Berry Parfait with Yume, and Hime is the only idol from the original S4 that actually created a brand from scratch so it works to have these three as main figures for this episode. Though I wish they had included Mio here as well so we could have someone to represent Aikatsu Friends here as well.

And you know, as much as I wish we didn't have the performances in the middle of it just so we could have either more of Raki or more of the fashion show itself, I enjoyed the combinations we had for this episode. Ran and Sora work very well together, seeing Hime and Akari together is fun because they share singing VAs, and Koharu and Sakuya was a very welcomed surprise, I never expected to see them together but they had great chemistry, it was very good. I also always love to see them bringing R coords from the game since ironically enough the occasions where we get to see them using in performances is becoming rarer as each day passes (also Sakuya looked surprisingly good in RBP, I loved seeing it).

The main event of the episode was Raki debuting her PR and if you disregard the problems I mentioned at the beginning of this post, it was very great how it happened. I know it was cheesy but I really liked that bit where Raki realizes ribbons were a part of her designing journey since the beginning and having a ribbon as a way to represent everyone getting together it's also a great symbolism for this whole thing. At the moment I first saw this coord leaked on an arcade image I didn't have the most positive reaction to it, but after seeing it now in the anime I really like it, it's a very cute assemble. Also, in regards to the performance I like how Raki's aura now changes the ribbon to the colors that represent the four idol type, it was a nice touch.

In conclusion, this was a pretty decent episode, the thing that hurts it more is its surroundings rather than the episode itself. What did you think of it? let me know in the comments. Next time it's the Valentine's episode and I'm not looking forward to it because they're bringing M4 and I already expect all the bullshit that will happen on it, also I know they won't perform Growing for a Dream, Star Jet, and Overflowing with Love because it will probably be the campaign girls performing instead and I'll be disappointed because of the missed opportunity. But this is a thing for me to worry about in the next post, for now, I'll just sit down and try to relax. See ya, folks~

[strrne]

If Disney ever made an obi-wan tv show, starring ewan mcgregor of course, what are some things that you’d want to see in it?

thanks for the question anon! according to the most recent rumors, I think we might just be getting one…?

unpopular opinion. I was pretty ambivalent about the Obi-Wan movie (originally it was supposed to be a movie, like Solo) from the very beginning. Obi-Wan's Tatooine years have their place in canon, I think, but for me personally? I'd relegate them to the lower tiers of canon, like the novels and comics. heck, I'd prefer leave that to the fanfics, because heaven forbid something be left to the fans' imagination. like sure, there's stories to explore there, but the overall premise is much like parallel parking to me. you gotta figure out how to fit it comfortably between two sets of untouchable canon, which kinda makes some of it… almost predictable to me? like, yeah, he's going to be sad. the Jedi are gone, Anakin is gone… oh there's little Luke being a paragon of innocence. sure puts a doleful smile on my face. sand, sand, sand… unsung heroism. sparsely furnished hovel. Anakin's lightsaber. sadness, loneliness, angst. Anakin is Vader??!!! get out of town!  

maybe this is an overly cynical viewpoint, so I'll try to be positive. after all, I enjoyed Rogue One and even ended up liking Solo for what it was, despite the fact that both were set during a very specific point in the timeline and a little too concerned with explaining existing canon and tying it all together. so there's no reason that I wouldn't potentially enjoy this one, too? and, let's be real, even if the end product is abysmal, like I'm NOT gonna watch lol.  

my final caveat is that… I usually try not to make 'wish lists' in regards to media I consume. sure, I'll form my opinions on the plot and the characters and draw my own conclusions about what I think is going to happen vs. what I would like to happen… but I try not to get too invested in my own headcanons/theories/ideas (in this context. fanfics are an entirely different animal bwahahaha). the production of (Hollywood) media is an extremely complicated process involving many, many creative minds and decision-makers and external factors, so I don't really see the point of actively wanting something to happen and then being inevitably disappointed. at this point I've sort of internalized this mindset, so these days I go to movies/watch shows etc. with an open mind, looking forward to seeing the story unfold the way it unfolds. then I will either like, it or not like it, or land somewhere in between.

(tl;dr, it's complicated, actual answer + actual positivity starts below!)

what I would like to see in an Obi-Wan solo series:  

I'll just go ahead and assume this will take place during his Tatooine years following the events of rots.

- I'd definitely want to see a cameo from Hayden Christensen, maybe even have him on as a recurring character, or rather, a presence, in the form of a hallucination/dream or some such. I'm an unabashed fan of Hayden's portrayal of Anakin, flawed directing and all, and I don't really see myself getting invested in the show the same way if the character of Anakin, arguably the most important relationship in Obi-Wan's life, is merely given a throw-away mention or a shot of his lightsaber and maybe a leitmotif. I also don't see the inevitable Vader 'reveal' having the same emotional weight if Anakin, his past self, is not given proper focus and… well, literal presence.  

- and you know… you kind of need Qui-Gon there as well? (you're Disney, slap some of that de-aging magic on Liam Neeson if you need to.) I mean… he's literally a Force Ghost at this point, and kind of also an important figure in Obi-Wan's life… and that Force Ghost training, anyone? and then they could be sad about Anakin together, yay! and you could also do flashbacks with these two. or with Anakin! or both! 

- MAUUUUUUUUL nah, jk. :D but then again it would be HILARIOUS. and I'll take hilarious over predictable.

- I would love to have at least one episode (or even a major theme) dedicated to the clones (Temuera Morrison yaaayy), like some Empire defectors or Clone War deserters who kind of just cross paths with him (on an unremarkable, obscure planet like Tatooine I think it's entirely believable). there could be some tension/mistrust between them first (kind of like in Rebels), but Obi-Wan, of course, would get to showcase his strengths as a communicator and they would sort out the whole Order 66 disaster and the Republic slave labor thingy and… uh, become BFFs? up until Obi would go, this has been nice, but I'm already late for my infinite sadness over there, may the Force be with you, gentlemen.

- obviously there would be some Friendly Neighborhood Space Wizard stuff. go settle those disputes and help those orphans and overthrow some crime lords. bonus points if this is used to explore his Anakin-related angst as he reminisces about how Anakin always wanted to return to Tatooine and free the slaves. and then maybe he has an epiphany like, yeah, this is how the Jedi should have been serving the Galaxy all along. we meant well but made mistakes etc etc. which will result in a THEME and also it will be fun to see how he accomplishes all these small acts of heroism without attracting too much attention but at the same time gaining that 'weird old hermit' reputation.

- I wouldn't mind seeing Owen and Beru Lars as recurring characters. a simple cameo would feel a little hollow, as they are literally Tatooine residents and Obi's next-door neighbors almost and they get a REALLY rough deal in the OT. one of my biggest gripes with the OT is Luke's complete non-reaction to the violent deaths of his foster parents (they ARE his parents! they raised him from infancy! hello???) and while that can't necessarily be 'fixed' here, I would at least love to see them being a little family and living their simple lives.

- there's nothing to stop Obi-Wan from visiting other planets from time to time. I think the Tatooine setting would eventually get a little too limited and tedious. I would especially love to see Alderaan in all its glory, before… well ya know. and then the Royal family would have to cameo. little Leia, and BREHA ORGANA! (and Bail, of course.) 

- this is getting into the 'wildly improbable' territory, but maybe you could bring back a couple of Padmé's handmaidens (Sabé?) and we could have some Padmé feels? they could even team up with Obi on a mission or something! there's your resident Action Girl right there. also, my memory of the Rebels/Ahsoka novel canon is a little fuzzy, so this would probably be somehow contradictory, but… AHSOKA.  

- but since there would inevitably be new characters… my only wish is that they would be well thought-out and interesting (which is subjective, I know). also, you're Disney, you have the budget to do aliens, do aliens. more aliens pls.

I could come up with more, and there's probably something really obvious I'm missing or maybe an error in there somewhere, but here are some of the things I would like to see on an Obi-Wan show. as you can probably tell, I'm conflicted. on one hand, I'm one of those fans who never really actively needed for this to be a thing, but if you get me going about its potential, I actually get kind of excited. the limited scope thingy is a bit meh to me (yes, I say this as a fan of the prequels) since as a consumer of media I'm fond of such things as stakes, surprises, plot twists and creative freedom, and as someone with imagination I don't really need every time period in SW canon to be covered in meticulous detail. BUT! if the Obi-Wan show does happen, one thing is for sure: I will be really happy for Ewan McGregor, who I know absolutely adores his character and has been very open about his desire to play him again.

(but also; seriously, ya better deliver on the Christensen.)

[sol1056]

Okay so i'm really confused. Who pitched the idea for the Voltron reboot? Did they write the original story or was that someone else? Who's writing the story now? Like i get that there is more than one person working on the story but like to take someone's vision of their story and to just throw it in the trash is just kinda fucked up ya know? I wouldn't want to work with a network if they're gonna screw over something I came up with.

It’s not a simple picture since there’s a lot of history. There’s three parts, behind the cut: who wrote the original story (vs the original-original), who pitched the idea for a voltron reboot, who’s writing the story now, and the issue of revisions. 

I must have at least three pages of asks that talk about Hedrick’s story and how the EPs butchered it… and I recently stumbled over something that made a few pieces click together. So, if you sent me an ask about Hedrick’s story and what he’d planned, you might want to read, ‘cause this answers a lot of your questions.

who created voltron

Back in the early 80s, the Koplar brothers purchased a license from Toei’s back catalog, and adapted/cut/rearranged the original GoLion into an American-only version called Voltron. GoLion hadn’t been much of a hit in Japan; it was kinda behind the curve. When the Koplars adapted it, Voltron was a huge enough hit in the US to warrant a second season, requiring new footage from scratch (mixed in with re-used stuff from the original season). 

The sequel (using a completely different anime from Toei’s back catalog) didn’t do anywhere as well. The planned third part was never made. Since then, there’s been reboots, comic books, idk what else. 

who pitched the idea

Long story short, Universal purchased a bundled archive of licenses. These are collected existing properties they could redevelop – anything from some no-name, one-season, failed cartoons to ones that were popular once and since forgotten. Voltron was one of those properties.

I doubt anyone pitched the idea, formally. More like, the execs saw Voltron in the pack and chose it for a reboot/remake. All they needed was staff to do it, so they interviewed potential showrunners. Around that time, JDS had pitched his idea for a Streetfighter cartoon. DW TV passed on JDS’ pitch, and instead offered him the position as EP of what would become the VLD reboot. 

(An aside: JDS and LM both talk up how much they loved Voltron as kids, but in early interviews they admit neither could remember for certain who Voltron’s ‘real’ leader was — Keith or Sven — all the way up to starting their interview with the execs.) 

who wrote the version we have now 

I’ve been operating under the assumption that as the story editor, Hedrick had a major influence on the story. I’ve also noted in several different posts that S1/S2 feels like a completely different story, in more ways than one:

As the story moved into the split-seasons, it’s clear that whomever lent that guiding hand in S1/S2 was no longer present. Someone else’s fingerprints are on S3, and my guess is it’s mostly Hedrick, at least on the script-level. The word choices change, the cadences change, the beats change. From S3 on, VLD has all the hallmarks of a muddy vision. 

A few days ago, I was researching for another ask and came across this:

On-screen, a “producer” credit for a TV series will generally be given to each member of the writing staff who made a demonstrable contribution to the final script. The actual producer of the show (in the traditional sense) is listed under the credit “produced by”.

According to IMDB, these are VLD’s  executive producers:

Joaquim Dos Santos  (63 episodes, 2016-2018)Lauren Montgomery (63 episodes, 2016-2018)Jae-Myung Yoo (24 episodes, 2016-2017)Robert Koplar (23 episodes, 2016-2017)Ted Koplar (23 episodes, 2016-2017)

We’ve been assuming Hedrick steered a large part of the story. If that were so, though, Hedrick should also have EP credits. He doesn’t. The Koplars have EP credit ‘cause they created the original Voltron. JDS and LM are on there, as showrunners. 

And then there’s this guy Jae-Myung Yoo. He’s done key animation, directing, and storyboards. He has a handful of executive producer credits, mostly for single episodes. Yoo left VLD in 2016, and joined Big Fish & Begonia as a co-producer. 

I think we just found the voice that steered the first two seasons, and whose departure left the story without a clear vision. 

Yoo doesn’t have any writing credentials, but his resume goes all the way back to Gargoyles in 1995. He doesn’t have to be a writer to be a storyteller, after all; there are different ways and methods of telling stories. My guess is Yoo’s a respected directorial voice around Studio Mir, understands how a story flows, and most importantly was probably a trusted voice after working with Ryu, JDS, and LM on AtLA and LoK. 

We’re left with one of two options: Hedrick stuck to the Yoo-created outline, rewriting and rearranging as the EPs shifted tracks, and the majority of the story’s direction since S2 has been from JDS and LM. Or Hedrick did have a substantial impact from S3 on, and JDS/LM refused to grant Hedrick the proper credit for that level of contribution.  

the issue of revisions

Television’s a wacky environment. It’s somewhere between collaboration and sheer hell, especially if you don’t come with major credentials (ie, your name is not Guillermo del Toro). 

Here’s how it starts: the showrunners, any other EPs, the writers, the senior writer/head editor/story editor (title depends on seniority), production assistants, writing assistants, and other producers will gather and brainstorm the story, and come up with a synopsis for the story’s outline. When the execs approve the synopsis (after probably a round or two of feedback), the expands the synopsis into a full outline of the entire story. 

The writers set about writing the script, which are sent to various execs for their feedback. The execs send their feedback — called ‘notes’ — to the showrunner. These are usually a jumble of responses (and a lot apparently tends to be personal taste, too), and also often contradictory. It’s the EP’s job to relay the exec response to the writers’ room, and make sure things get changed so the execs are happy. 

The EP (and the writers) must do a delicate balancing act, between budget, story, and sheer insanity like one exec demanding a scene be cut and another exec thinking the scene should not only stay, but be expanded. Or insisting on specific pairing endgames (or lack thereof). Or — as seems to have plagued VLD — saying the story is too dark and ‘needs more humor,’ which the EPs appear to have interpreted as ‘do more filler episodes that have no plot relevance.’ 

The first thing to remember is that most execs are not intentionally malicious. They will ask for too much, and they often have their own agendas, but their goal is a hit, not wasting a bazillion dollars for no gain. If you look at the credentials for decision-level execs at Dreamworks, every single one came up through the ranks: they’ve directed, produced, some were also animators, and at least one did either acting or voice acting. They’ve been doing this for awhile. My advice to any wannabe-EPs (or writers) would be that when an exec says, “kids are going to be bored stiff with this scene,” listen. I’m not saying automatically change it, just give it a fair listen. 

Collaboration is hard. It takes patience and good listening skills and empathy for the people on the other side of the table. It takes a willingness to bargain and enough strength to be vulnerable, and a whole lot of honesty about your own reasonings for wanting one thing or another. 

Stories created in the high-pressure hot-house environment of a collaborative group are a very different critter than one-author novels: no one person owns the story. Not everyone wants to sign up for sharing that creative process, and that’s fine, too. We do need books with good stories as much as we need shows and movies with good stories. 

Just color me seriously unimpressed when someone in a collaborative storytelling process constantly snarks about exec meddling. I have no sympathy: they signed up for this. If their creativity is so fragile it’s threatened by feedback, they need to find a different medium, ‘cause the collaborative world of television production is probably not the best fit.  

[marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches]

Oh my goodness, I didnt see the link to your fanfic account! I am dumb. So ignore my previous ask and instead answer this one for the meme. 13, 3, 14, 1 and 2 for Happiness goes on? (I shall leave reviews on your beautiful fanfic soon I promise, they are good.)

(Hiii, sooo…this whole reply is late because I actually typed up ALL OF THIS last night, and then accidentally “x”-ed out of my browser and lost it all, because I am very very stupid. And then was too tired to retype it up before going to sleep. I hope I remember roughly everything, and apologies for that mistake.)

Oh! Haha! Alright then! Thank you! Don’t feel dumb at all for not realizing which AO3 account is mine or for your previous ask(which for others who are curious, said: “1 - 5 for all your fics! Just talk about your favs!”). I was prepared to choose 3 fics (including “Happiness Goes On” since that’s definitely the one I’m most proud of, so I guess that’s closest to a “favorite” right?), and go through the first 5 questions for each, though I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t have taken some time to answer.

BUUUT…since you said to scrap that first ask, I’ll answer these individual ones for “Happiness Goes On.” And your compliment and promise for a future review means SO goddamn much, thank you sincerely.

(WARNING / REMINDER: This is about my fic that deals with the subject of child molestation, and I do reference that a little bit in this reply. Don’t read further if it makes you uncomfortable, which I entirely understand and respect.)

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13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

HA! Well, American Pie obviously, for a majority of it. While brainstorming / writing / editing the epilogue? A lotta Billy Joel. ;)

The idea to use American Pie bounced into my brain when it came on the radio at the thrift shop where I volunteer, one of the rare times my own music speaker battery died. Usually a disaster, because our store radio is pretty crappy, but the sound quality wasn’t too bad that day, and I rediscovered how much I love that song and ‘Why isn’t this on my ipod again?’. Listening to the lyrics, I realized how much some of them fit the Guardians in general, and this story specifically, which I have Gamora mentally note in the fic. I was sitting and casually chatting with the manager while also thinking, ‘Google what year this came out when you get home, but I’m sure it’s the 70′s. Peter would know it, and it could be the Zune. I think it could work.’ I’m proud that I was able to reference the song so many times without actually naming it by title, but I assume most readers knew what it was, it’s just that famous. (I also couldn’t resist the light-hearted joke, later when things calmed down, of Gamora saying “This…is the longest song…I have ever heard.” and Peter smiling without even looking at her and giving a cheeky “I know.”)

In terms of using Billy Joel for the epilogue, I’m just a Billy Joel fanatic. The use of him for this story began just from the We Didn’t Start the Fire joke toward Rocket at the bar (I thought it was clever, Peter!), and later on I saw how The Longest Time fit romantically for Starmora, and some of the lyrics matched the healing themes of the overall story, and I thought ‘Maybe they’ve been playing BIlly Joel since that night; maybe that can be the joke.’ Why shouldn’t his Greatest Hits albums (at least) be on the Zune? I struggled a lot over what song should be the final one Gamora comments on before they switch artists to appease the group. I never specify which romantic Billy Joel song Peter and Gamora slow danced to during their “date night” in that six-week summary, but I like to imagine it was Just the Way You Are. I considered Keeping the Faith or Vienna for the final one, but I thought they deserved something more fun and naughty to analyze this time, so Only the Good Die Young it is. :D

In conclusion, I listened to The Longest Time, and the entire An Innocent Man studio album, a lot (as if I needed an excuse).3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

The portion in italics is my favorite line, but I’m including the entire sentence for context purposes: “She would need to grow used to him viewing Yondu as a caring parent who was extraordinarily protective of his boy, and would have hunted down this pervert to whistle a glowing arrow through her skull.”14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Ohh geez, wow, that one is tough. I don’t know if it’s accurate to say this story was intended to educate, but just to explore the idea with fictional characters. I have no expertise on the subject, and would never claim such, or talk down to those who do. I didn’t intend to create a PSA. I suppose all of the “lessons” for Peter (if they can be called that) I hope all readers already know and agree on (basically a collection of “it wasn’t your fault” and “this doesn’t define you” and “trauma isn’t a competition, someone else suffering worse doesn’t invalidate your experience” and “you should feel comfortable talking about anything without judgement or shame” etc.).

Slightly lesser scale messages, there’s also reminders about the importance of communication, trusting each other, letting the other person speak in an argument, not letting one’s jealousy/instincts/bad mood interfere with fairness, not running away from a fight or staying angry, respecting boundaries and privacy, all that healthy relationship jazz that these two are still figuring out. 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

This post is already very long, and I could probably talk for hours about the decision-making process for many scenes (of my GotG fics, this took the longest to write and publish, over 2 months), so I’ll try to condense this to a few bullet points that probably don’t fit the “inspired” criteria.

- It was originally going to be in two parts, 4 scenes each, when I thought the epilogue would be much shorter. But as the lil’ wrap-up got longer (because we needed a fluffy conclusion, dammit!), I decided to make it a separate “chapter.”

- I think the concept probably started as one of those strange, angsty “what if?” scenarios I make up in my head at night that I still can’t believe I created into a full-fledged work. I liked the idea of Peter and Gamora having this conversation and her comforting him, but I knew if I was really going to throw it out there for other fans, it had be more balanced with happier moments, too. I just know I was always going to make the offender a woman - both because it would lead to the misunderstanding that she was a past consensual hook-up when Peter was an adult to spark some irritation and jealousy in Gamora, and because it’s realistically different from other sexual assault stories, since women can be pedophiles and child predators too, and they’re just as horrible. :(

- The fanfic idea of “Gamora accidentally starts a fire while trying to cook, and Peter falsely accuses and lashes out at Rocket” was in my head before, but there were two key differences. 1) It was the entire plot, not a light-hearted subplot in the shadows of something bigger, 2) Meredith’s letter was either fully or partially burnt as a result of the fire. By the end Gamora was going to confess it was her fault, that she was trying to surprise Peter by cooking spaghetti, and he would apologize both to her and to Rocket for losing his temper and getting so angry. I hated that idea later and found it too sad (he’s already lost the Walkman and second cassette tape, why would I want him to lose even more from his mother?), and in “Spark My Memory” (the Christmas fic I wrote for “12 Days of Starmora”) the Guardians put his mother’s letter in the photo album gift for Peter, completely safe and unharmed. I like to keep all my fanfics canon-compliant and non-contradictory from each other, so the letter is fine, no burning it.

Yet “Gamora started a fire cooking” still seemed fun to me, as I like the idea that she’s so badass and skilled and intelligent, but failed at something so domestic and simple. Kinda cute. I was so excited to insert it into this, because I think it worked on multiple levels. It’s a driving force for the plot (the reason the team go to the restaurant and they stumble upon that particular waitress), the reason Gamora was already in a bad mood during her fight with Peter, it could be used as a metaphor/comparison for Peter’s anxiety and Gamora’s guilt, it was something for the Guardians to put at a higher priority to tease and mock Gamora for while oblivious to the main story, something for Peter to just break down into giggles over once they changed the subject (because he earned a good laugh after that heartbreaking and vulnerable childhood trauma story), an excuse to give Rocket so many funny lines, an overall silly and sitcommy-style subplot to fall back on, and a sweet “victory!” for Gamora to have (sort of?) conquered by the epilogue. ^_^2: What scene did you first put down?

This is easy. I’ve written all but one (8 out of 9) of my fanfics in order, except for “Just Like Everybody Else.” So ya, I wrote the opening scene first, Baby Groot’s magic trick lesson and Peter’s oh-so-cruel “can only be seen once” deception. I needed to ease readers (and myself) into the angst and heavy shit to follow, and that cute idea had also been in the back of my mind for a while. ^_^

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PHEW, OKAY, ALL RE-TYPED! Thank you again SO MUCH for the lovely ask and wonderful questions, your actual interest and curiosity thrilled me! You see I wasn’t kidding about the incessant babbling. :P

Thank you also for the kudos you left on AO3, and take care!~

[lyricanalysis]

definitely not about heroin

this is another song that i think dallon wrote. there are a few parts that ryan did write in this (which is why he’s credited) but i don’t honestly believe ryan wrote all of this which i’ll point out in a later one. so first off, part of the reason that i say this, is they (all 3) have very different writing styles. now someones gonna hit me up on this and argue with me because the way i’m going to explain this makes ryan and dallon’s styles seem similar but they honestly aren’t.

ryan really likes using fancy words in place of simple things. he really likes burlesque, things that fall into that category. he likes things almost that you’d find in like a 20’s era. but structurally, his lyrics aren’t complex. (Ex: camisado where he can’t even create a second verse, but its better where the lyrics are very plain in what they’re talking about). he uses big words but once those are translated, they’re very obviously about (ITALICIZE) something. dallon though, is quite different. his structure is a little fancier in a way. i’ve said it before but he’s really pretentious. he really likes big words that make no sense. like i’m looking at some of his brobecks lyrics and some of them like, i have no idea what it’s intending to mean. but ya know, a different struggle. SO that’s just my explanation for why i believe certain parts are ryan and why some (most) are dallon.

so going through this, just expect it to be dallon writing unless i say otherwise, thank you. so we don’t confuse what i’m talking about.

[English translation:

From the first day

Your perfume intoxicates me, my love

It is in these moments

I want to be like you at times

But since that day

I have a single regret.]

wow. so i talked about this a little in ballad of mona lisa. this song FUCKing talks about mona lisa again which is not a god damn coincidence. but what i did want to bring up in this part is that its children. like what is the point of this? it’s extra, unnecessary to the song, honestly. there is no reason for this except that they wanted it there, so why. now what i need to point out is that it’s children who are singing. i talked about in ballad that the child mona lisa is a reference to the innocence that ryan pretends to hide behind. also, something could be said for what happens right before they start singing. the conductor is up there saying ‘I’m up here for a reason, watch me’ or something along those lines. for anyone who’s been in band or orchestra (maybe choir, i have no clue) but that’s a common thing. i don’t even know how to explain this cause it’s so normal to me but i heard it every damn day. its mostly when the students or players, whatever, are rushing. you get reminded constantly ‘hey I’m not standing up here just to flap my arms like a bird’ which is funny but ya know. the conductor brings the whole group together.

now, about the translation. i first just want to point out that it’s in french originally and, for those of you who don’t know, dallon has a huge fascination with france. it comes up a lot in his solo stuff. anyway, the actual words. so this will get talked about a lot more later in this song but basically, this talks about a rebound, almost. that at the beginning of dallon and brendon getting together, brendon was using dallon as a rebound. now i’ll talk about how that didn’t happen but still. he talks about how from the first moment of seeing him he was just like ‘holy shit, he’s hot’ probably something like ‘lets bang’ too. and then the line after that is something i’ll talk about in other songs as well. probably a little later because in the last analysis, we saw brendon finally starting to accept talking about feelings but he wasn’t quite sharing his whole story yet. so anyway dallon is, not necessarily secretive, but he doesn’t talk a lot about his issues. he’s kinda like ‘live and forget’ sorta. so brendon probably gets this idea that dallon is perfect. that he’s happy and put together, hasn’t ever fucked up in life and brendon sees that and he wants to be like dallon so badly.

he realizes that when he decided he wanted to be dallon who was put together and doing well, that he regretted having gotten involved with ryan. because by being involved with ryan, that meant that he was no longer put together. he had his life somewhat okay before things went south. now look at him.

My wing tips waltz across naive

Wood floors they creak

Innocently down the stairs

so for those of you who don’t know, wing tips are actually a type of shoe. kinda fancy, dress up type of mens shoe. (so disappointed it wasn’t actually a wing). but anyway, waltz is a dance and we’re using that as a metaphor here for sex. i’ve already said that they had a very sexual relationship. it was only sexual for ryan, brendon was the one who had feelings. anyway, naive, we’re going with that. my sister is kinda the interview expert so i can’t quote it word for word but she told me about an interview where brendon outright said that when they started panic, they were all naive and young. with naivety also comes innocence. i know that brendon isn’t the poster child for being innocent but i think when it came to ryan, he very much was. i’m not saying blushing virgin but i don’t think he came onto ryan the way he did when it was just a one night stand (or whatever he did in his high school days). i think that he danced around it at first, partly because they were in a band together and didn’t want to fuck it up. i also think that, yes this is a little contradictory to what i’ve said before, but i think that brendon might have had a crush on ryan from the start. I’LL EVEN SAY IT, it’s probably painfully obvious that i am 100% not a ryan stan but he was cute as shit in early panic days. he had a cute lil baby face and he was just adorable but ya know. i’m gonna go with brendon thought that too.

so back to the analysis, why creaking? you know how in your house, the floors creak when you walk on them? sucks ass when you’re trying to sneak out, right? it’s like a fucking alarm for your parents. and i think it was here, too. the floors creak under brendon and ryan as they dance (sex metaphor, remember) and the creaking is the rest of the band mates warning them not to get involved. its spencer and brent saying hey, that’s not a good idea and could lead to bad feelings. but just as i do when the floors creak, i stopped paying attention, i didn’t care. i found ways to walk around them so i wouldn’t get caught and that is the very same thing that brendon did. brendon was innocent when he first got with ryan. he was probably careful in how he worded things, not wanting to mess things up, not wanting it to be just a one night stand. he was innocent. another thing, brendon has kind of hinted that in high school he had a lot of sex. but one thing he doesn’t mention is falling in love. another reason why i am going with innocent. this is new for him, to fall in love because dallon is writing this as the beginning when brendon first met ryan. innoccent and probably a little scared of what it meant. also, things going down in literature and song writing is symbolic for bad. nothing good happens when you go down stairs or down anything (dropping things, basements, hell). going innocently down the stairs would be hinting at a loss of innocence and entering a bad situation. now, since dallon is writing this, i’m going with it was still early in the writing phase, before brendon had the words to say fuck you ryan himself. i think that dallon really tried to be brendon’s savior because brendon saved him from depression and a failed career in something dallon is passionate about. dallon probably felt like he owed brendon but i think it’s more than just owing him. these songs feel a little personal. i feel like dallon knew the things that went down (cape town ???) and felt angered (??? possibly since he’s been in some really awful and dare i say manipulative? relationships. see: brobecks).

Drag melody

My percussive feet serve cobweb headaches as a

Matching set of marching clocks

The slumbering apparitions

That they've come to wake up

first of all, what the fuck. like, what the fuck does this even mean. god damn. second of all, explain. so this one was a tricky one. now, drag melody is another musical term. its not something that you’d necessarily see written on paper and it’s more of a jazzical thing tbh. (yes i know jazzical is not a word but it sounds cool). if you don’t hear it in the song, it’s just like, you lengthen the notes. so you would go a little bit out of time which is something that would happen to ryan and brendon. more so brendon. he dragged the melody (their relationship) in his head. he wanted to believe that things were fine so he stretched it out longer but ryan never reciprocated so it was, as i’ve said, one sided. now, again, tons of musical references. percussive is something that relates to percussion aka drums. now this is comparing brendon’s feet to a drum beat. which goes back into the dancing aspect of the last chunk. they’re still dancing to the rhythm (and having sex). now, a cobweb headache is a headache that is so painful, you start to see (well not see) cobweb sort of shapes blocking your vision. so taking that whole line, how would brendon’s dance serve cobweb headaches? well, kid, i’ll tell you. brendon, as i’ve said, is using sex as a way to try and keep ryan around. he thinks that by giving ryan what he wants out of brendon, then ryan will in turn love him back. it doesn’t work that way but that’s what brendon thinks. so brendon, in that second line, is letting sex cloud his vision and his judgement. he can’t see all of ryan because of the cobwebs blocking his vision. he can’t see that ryan doesn’t really care about him in the same way.

then moving on, this line is just kind of a repeat. matching set of marching clocks is meant to be a metronome. their feet are whats keeping time so in a sense, they’re human metronomes. the sex metaphor of dancing.

now, i’ll come back to this later in the song but spencer (and the rest of the band) is the slumbering apparition. now, ghosts are apparitions right? i’ll bring it up again but this how it starts. brendon and ryan started this relationship of sex and the rest of the band i starting to ‘wake up’ which will get explained in a little bit.

Here I am composing a burlesque

Out of where they rest their necks

Sunken in their splintered cradles

And ramshackle heads

They asked for it

As a girl

so, like i said, this is ryan’s lil chunk. so burlesque has two different meanings. “1. an abusrd or comically exaggerated imitation of something and 2. a variety show, typically including a striptease” but for this, i feel like 2 works better. so moving on, ryan is composing a striptease (for brendon because their relationship was sexsexsex). out of where they rest their necks would be their bed, wherever this song is taking place. so this is where i found it actually get really interesting (ryan? this is shocking). (i’m also not saying anything but dallon could have spiced this up himself but, not saying anything *side eye emoji*). mattresses, after a lot of wear and tear, are sunken in. usually around the butt/waist area because thats the heaviest part of you and ya know, things. then the rest of this is talking about splintered cradles which, if the sunken part is in reference to a mattress then it would only make sense for a mattress cradle to be a bedframe. which makes sense because i said resting your neck was in bed (where else could you ???).  he goes on to say and ramshackle heads and i had to pull out google again and here’s what it means: in a state of severe disrepair. so in reference to ramshackle heads, i think to an extent, ryan knew what he was doing to brendon. i don’t think it was this big secret that brendon had a thing for ryan after a little while of them having their thing. so i’m going with the fact that ryan knew that it was messing him up, and that he was taking the ‘i’m messed up too’ stance to try and explain his actions but ??? ya know.

*trigger warning for mentions of rape* so then, i’m doing these last two lines and they are really kind of uncomfortable. i’ve been trying to think of how to break this down and avoid my sisters idea but, honestly, i can’t. the way this is worded sounds too much like ‘she was asking for it’. “they asked for it as a girl” like why? literally why? i don’t know how else to think about this besides rape. but this is all in a context of beds and sex and messed up heads which is also really uncomfortable. if this song is in relation to brendon (which it is) then ryan is basically saying that brendon asked for it. i think that the person to originally propose even a friends with benefits scenario would have been brendon. i think that ryan is comparing him to a girl, saying he asked for this treatment, the loveless sort and using that as well as an excuse. which, in my mind, is really kind of fucked up. i dunno, these two lines really just rub me the wrong way and i want to believe there’s a different way to look at this but.. alas. (i also want to point out that it’s sung instead where ‘as a girl’ tags onto the prechorus which is plausible. i’d also like to point out that in the digital book it’s written as ’ramshackle heads. they asked for it. as a girl,..’ which makes no sense. also on the lyric page it as ‘as a girl’ lumped in with the lines about the bed and i understand it’s not entirely reliable but still. ALSO want to point out if you listen to the song, the beat sounds weird. like it goes they asked for it AHAHAHAHA as a girl, and then moves into he pre chorus. now everyone writes the as a girl as part of the pre chorus so it would be “as a girl, you have set your heart…” but to be honest, listen to it. they have different beats. as a girl has the same tempo as ‘they asked for it’ and then it changes for ‘you have set your heart…’ which leads me to believe it was “they asked for it as a girl”

also, just throwing this out there, i don’t know if i’m gonna do an alternate analysis for the demo of this song, if you really want then shoot me an ask but i do want to point this out real fucking quick. in the demo the lyric was originally “they asked for it as a boy” so… if that’s not evidence that it was brendon asking for it then idk what is.

How does a heart love, if no one has noticed its presence

And where does it go?

Trembling hands play my heart like a drum

But the beat's gotten lost in the show

skipping the chorus and going back to dallon. this is another giant fuck you to ryan. we’ll see in let’s kill tonight later where dallon called him cold hearted. he’s doing it again but instead, he’s saying that ryan is heartless. he’s asking how can ryan love if he has no heart. nobody has noticed his heart’s presence, and i can bet that brendon has been looking in every nook and cranny for a sign. then dallon asks where did his heart go. it’s honestly, savage. then these last two lines are about brendon and it’s honestly, in dallon’s twisted, pretentious sense, it’s cute. so this is coming after ryan and because of the things that happened to brendon, getting his heart broken, he’s most likely scared to fall in love again. it’s probably terrifying. so getting involved with dallon is not ideal for him but i think it’s kind of unavoidable for them. they both came from a bad relationship and they want something good but they’re not quite sure what good is, who it is. they found something helpful in the other so this is kind of experimental. this line makes me think of first times together. dallon is saying that brendon’s shaking hands (i totally got the image of shaking hands unbuttoning a shirt) played his heart like a drum. now that saying is usually used in the context of something good. i have never heard somebody say “they played my heart like a drum” in reference to heart break but more commonly, falling in love. so that’s what dallon is saying. he fell in love the first time they slept together (first realized or just exaggerating a little for song writing purpose). then there’s a couple ways to look at this last line and i’ll mention both but the one more fitting is gonna go first. so when he says that his heart has gotten lost in the show, i’m thinking that it means that his heart is only really beating when he’s at the show, when he’s with brendon.

there’s also something my sister mentioned. so this is kind of just a food for thought sort of thing because i don’t feel like it really fits with the entire song but i’m gonna share it anyway. so linden was talking about how the beats gotten lost in the show could be another reference to heartless. in reference to any of them, i guess. ryan it seems like only showed “feelings” towards brendon when they were on stage because of the stage gay. the fans loved it. so the beat got lost in the show, his heart is lost there.

You have set your heart

On haunting me forever

From the start

It's never silent

as promised, i am talking about the ghosts again! so we’ve already mentioned that spencer and the rest of the band is the ghosts. now we’re getting into WHY they’re the ghosts. so i’m saying that brendon and ryan started at the beginning of the band. that’s how this worked. and well, the rest of the band when they were ‘woken up’ could see how far south this could go. so spencer was the ghost that haunted brendon’s thoughts, telling him not to do it, you’ll only hurt yourself. he’s been haunting brendon from the very beginning and he plans on not stopping because (as we all know) if/when they break up, it’ll ruin the band, ya know? it did, brendon was just able to continue on without ryan because he wasn’t gonna lose his dream. but, back then, how were they supposed to know? spencer had no idea that panic would continue when they broke up, when brendon realized ryan would never love him. but to brendon, it’s never silent. when spencer isn’t actively telling him to stop while he still can, it’s in his thoughts. over and over, being reminded of it all. but this isn’t just about brendon and ryan. because remember how it started? well, spencer sees it happening again with dallon. brendon is repeating his habits of getting involved with a  bandmate and this time, spencer knows how it’ll end. he knows it’ll end with a broken heart and a broken band and he doesn’t think it’ll make it through another disaster again. so again, spencer is pestering brendon, telling him not to get involved (which he doesn’t listen cause dallon is fucking hot lbr)

Ever since we met

I only shoot up with your perfume

It's the only thing

That makes me feel as good as you do

Ever since we met

I've got just one regret to live through

(And that one regret is you)

(And I regret never letting you know!)

so here we are, the chorus. now this is solely about dallon, okay? mostly. anyway, this is brendon saying that he’s addicted to dallon. ever since they met, dallon has made him feel whole. he doesn’t feel as much like a mess since they’ve met. he’s saying that dallon is good for him and when dallon can’t be there, his perfume will be good enough for him. then, brendon says it again. ever since we met, i have just one regret. but that regret sure isn’t dallon. the first two choruses, he says that his one regret is ‘you’ which, at the end of the song, it’ll say ‘mona lisa, pleased to please ya (and that one regret is you)’. we’ve already said that mona lisa is a representation for ryan and their failed relationship. at the end of the song, it’s confirmed that ‘you’ is mona lisa. which means that ‘you’ is also ryan ross. he regrets getting involved with ryan. and then the last chorus, he says his one regret is never letting ryan know. know what though? i think it’s meant to be that he wishes he had let ryan know how much he was hurting and how bad it was.

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya

(and that one regret is you)

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya

(and that one regret is you)

Mona Lisa, pleased to please ya

(I've got just one)

so, like i said in my analysis of ballad of mona lisa, this fucking lyric came up again. here it is. now, it’s not random that this showed up again. there’s a reason that it’s in not one but two songs. and like i said that the beginning, this song is mainly written by dallon as a fuck you to ryan. so this is dallon basically making fun of him. he’s taking brendon’s words and throwing it in ryans face. it’s kind of like he’s telling ryan that he knows what he did? like the book ‘i know what you did last summer’ scare tactic. i don’t know how to accurately explain this. but either way. he’s going back to what ryan and brendon’s relationship used to be, pointing out that he knows how ryan was using brendon for sex and then throwing in the new lyrics about how brendon said ryan is his regret. just some food for thought.

[sedimentarydearwatson]

hi!! I really love your blog and the writing/speculation you do about destiny is always delightful to read. I was wondering, do you have any thoughts on the writing style of the grimoire cards? they add so much to destiny's story/overall tone but I personally have a hard time pinning down how exactly they do that. anyway I hope you have a great day!!!

Aww, fanks :B

Thoughts on the writing style, eh? I have to confess I’m not 100% sure what you mean, so do poke me if I land left of centre of what you’re looking for.

I’ve always had mixed feelings about the grimoire mechanic as a whole. On the one hand, I love the content and I’ve personally benefitted from being able to access it outside of the game since I’m not a particularly dedicated player, heh. On t’other, I sympathise with people who have found it makes the game itself less immersive. I thought they did much better at integrating story during The Taken King, so I’m hoping Destiny 2 keeps to that standard.

It’s a little hard to discuss the writing style because there are so many at play – you can tell the grimoire is the result of a team. (I’d love to know how it actually works behind the scenes. Is there a set team, or a rotation? Do they get assigned to particular storylines or characters? Can staff ever just rock up to some head writerly desk like oh man I had this fantastic drabble idea, let’s make it a card?) Sometimes that works really well for them, but a couple of times its felt like I could see the cracks in the fourth wall; the small retcons, a card that sounds a little out-of-character or contradictory, stories that seem to have been extended on a whim. I honestly still haven’t stopped casting exasperated looks across the sea at their admittance they pulled the entire Rise of Iron story out of their hats, which was a double confirmation that the very first mention of Iron Lords was just random padding and also that they will literally make things up years into the story.

Overall though, I love the linguistic aesthetic they’ve got going. There is some absolutely gorgeous imagery in there, and I like the strange balance they have between the serious side and the wackier side, the futuristic-archaic and the skewed contemporary. (I’m bitter as hell Ikora was side-lined in the trailer, but I liked the nod at the dual nature of Destiny in the back-and-forth contrast between the two speeches.) Hell, I think some of the stories work better in these piecemeal formats. There’s nothing very new about a young hero avenging his fallen mentor and lost hometown after all, but I found the way the story was told made it fresh and interesting again. The grimoire pulls you in as an active participant in putting the jigsaw puzzle together to find the hidden tales, and since I sincerely enjoy debating theories and analysing motivations and extrapolating to fill in blanks (can ya tell) it’s made Destiny a good community for me.

So! That is a lot of rambling about the grimoire from a personal perspective at least. If you’re looking for an actual literary analysis of their writing style then, uh…it’s been a long time since I studied writing, and I honestly was not that good at it. My academic opinion of Disgrace was that the protagonist was a terrible person and I didn’t want to read an entire book about him. You’re probably better off hitting someone like Nem up for that kinda thing. She knows words.