#kind of sad how bad the clans are at passing down history. i feel like they should know who cloudstar is

[lemnnshark]

"Cloudstar is a small, lithe, pale gray tom with very pale water-blue eyes. He has white patches that resemble clouds, and broad shoulders."

[stomach-bugg09]

heyyy, could you maybe write a fic with the entire sully family x reader, where she is part of the metkayina clan, and after they get to stay she has to introduce the family to everything (instead of tsireya and aonung). They get closer and she’s a good friend to them.

She is very sweet, loves children and treats tuk like her own (this is a key element hihi)

So one day, after she goes out with tuk to entertain her, they get attacked by someone you can decide (I’m sorry but I need something angsty😭) and reader protects tuk and saves her life.

But, and here comes the “plot twist”, the sully’s misunderstand the situation and think reader did it on purpose or was trying to hurt tuk and they’re all angry and furious at her, not letting her explain.

So she retreats and doesn’t leave her marui pod for days, until someone from the clan clears it up, and they apologise to her… YOU CAN DECIDE THE ENDING, WETHER ITS HAPPY OR SAD!!!!

Thank u in advance and I have to say, I absolutely love your writing, every time I finish one of ur fics I crave moreeeee!!!❤️

summary: [y/n] saves the life of tuk, but at what cost?

a/n: hopefully this turned out good !! i’m kind of bad when it comes to misunderstanding trope because i kind of hate it ( whoopsies ) but i think it turned out okay ?? i’m just glad i finally was able to publish something after a few days. reblogs + feedback are always appreciated !!

tags: @rafeslovergirl@wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @fleurbeass @nyotamalfoy @23victoria

warnings: mentions of blood, injury, fear, a monster-like creature pursuing tuk and [y/n], jake and neytiri being kind of mean, scars, almost dying, passing out, a lil angst, happyish ending

words: 2.4k

i would do it again

she hadn’t meant for it to go the way that it did. everytime she replayed the scene in her head, tears pricked [y/n]’s eyes. what could’ve happened—what should’ve happened. she continued to thank eywa that both her and tuk made it out alive and safe.

it’d been that morning when the youngest sully bounded up to [y/n] in the middle of her chores. “[y/n]!” she cried, joy evident in her voice.

[y/n] could not help but grin, looking up from the net that she was busy detangling. “good morning, darling tuk!”

the sully family had been in awa’atlu for several months at that point, but [y/n] had been friends with them since they first arrived. [y/n] was a former warrior of the clan, despite how young she was. she was only twenty years old, but after a former event resulting in a very severe injury, [y/n] was quickly deferred to a safer alternative that still allowed her to help her clan.

after the incident, [y/n] found herself working with the children. it was her job to begin teaching them the ways of the water, which included breathing, swimming, and free-diving. when they got to the age of learning to hunt, they were passed along to another teacher.

that was how [y/n] first met the sullys.

after tsireya and ao’nung toured the village with them, the future tsahik introduced them to [y/n]. “she will be helping us teach you our ways.”

and so she did. although her schedule was far too busy to always attend the lessons, [y/n] was there as much as she possibly could, rewarding each and every child on their progress.

[y/n] was also introduced to neytiri and jake sully by tonowari. the ole’eyktan was quick to tell them of her honorable history, especially regarding the injury. [y/n] didn’t miss the way the toruk makto’s sympathetic eyes flickered to the large scar that still burdened her up and down her right leg. but, for the first time in a long time, his careful stare did not cause her insecurity. instead, it made her feel safe, especially as she limped up and down the beach.

it did not take long for the sully family to entrust [y/n]. she was kind, caring, and she was always there to help them. a part of [y/n] drifted to the sully family once neytiri began treating her as if she was one of their own, often inviting her over for dinner.

for the first time in years, ever since the deaths of her parents, [y/n] felt like she had a true family again.

so, given their history, [y/n] was not at all shocked at the arrival of tuk on that sunny morning.

“[y/n]!” she yelled once again, stopping in front of the metkayina girl. “oh my eywa, [y/n],” tuk panted, hands clasping her knees as she caught her breath.

“oh, my!” [y/n] laughed, smiling up from where she sat on the dock. “what is the matter, dear?”

“it is so nice out today!”

[y/n] chuckled at that. “oh, isn’t it?” leave it to tuk to cause a panic only for her to exclaim that the weather was good.

“we should go out,” tuk decided, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she gave [y/n] a look.

[y/n] only raised the muscles above her eyes. “you think so?”

tuk nodded vigorously. “yes, i do! kiri is busy with mother, lo’ak wants nothing to do with me, and neteyam refuses to take me out ever.” once she finished her short rant, she stuck out her bottom lip and widened her eyes. “please, [y/n]?”

“tuk,” [y/n] groaned, covering her eyes with her hands. “that’s unfair. you’re too adorable to refuse!”

tuk grinned pridefully. “i know, isn’t it awesome?”

just like that, the two soon found themselves sharing a ride on an ilu through the reef. [y/n] smiled at the way tuk’s arms flew outwards, allowing her to reach out and feel the tingling sensation as they passed through the thick waters.

the coral was gorgeous that morning thanks to the rays of sunlight that beamed through the surface, lighting up the seafloor. “look,” [y/n] signed to tuk, pointing out a crab that waddled across the ground.

a chuckle left the sully’s lips as indicated by the small trail of bubbles that floated above them. [y/n] grinned at the way tuk raised her hand, waving at the small creature that strolled across the ocean floor.

of course, it could only stay perfect for so long, and unfortunately, the perfection did not last long enough.

[y/n] immediately felt something was wrong when the water turned the slightest bit colder. although the sully girl did not notice, the chills rising on [y/n]’s arms sent her panicking. when her ilu rumbled in dismay beneath them, she knew they needed to turn around.

“it is time to go back,” [y/n] signed quickly, the annoyance being difficult to ignore from behind her. before tuk could sign anything back, the older girl rose her hand and gestured for her to stay quiet.

just as she directed the ilu to turn around, [y/n] noticed how quiet it was. for once in her life, [y/n] could hear nothing. it was just them and the ocean.

the fish were gone, fleeing into their homes. the crab on the ground was quickly sheltered by his hole in the sand. not even the water swayed all that much. a chill settled deep in [y/n]’s bones.

she panicked at the feeling of tuk’s arms wrapping around her waist, the sully’s small face pressed into her back. it was when she felt tuk’s hand hit her that she was prompted to look up from where she observed the quiet reef.

[y/n] nearly choked on the salty water when the sight of large animal. it loomed overtop of them, a shadow cast on top of them from his mere size. it’s flippers were large, but not nearly as large as his teeth were.

although it was only split seconds, it felt like a billion years until either of them made their first move.

when the creature attempted to close the distance between them, [y/n] sent the ilu flying beneath the beast. she swallowed a yelp at the feeling of the water by her ear, his mouth nearly having chomped it off had they not moved so fast.

unfortunately, the monster was as smart as it was quick, and it was soon adjusting. with one last look over her shoulder, [y/n] sent the ilu shooting forward.

tuk’s arms clasped [y/n] desperately, her eyes hidden from reality due to the fear it brought. at that, [y/n] urged the creature they rode on to swim even faster.

as much as the ilu tried, it was nothing compared to the fins that carried the monster behind them. once [y/n] felt it catching up, the only thing she could think to do was unattached her queue from the ilu and grab tuk. as they rolled off the side, [y/n] choked back a scream at the sight of her ilu being swallowed by the beast in one quick gulp.

blood blossomed in the water. tuk stared aimlessly, her cries not going unheard. [y/n] grabbed her face, pressing a hand overtop her mouth. not only could the beast hear, but tuk was losing breath.

“hush, darling,” she signed, eyes attentive to their surroundings. “you must be quiet. it will all be okay, do you understand?” tuk only nodded.

they hid behind a large rock-like structure, and [y/n] carefully peeked out to catch an understanding of where they stood versus the beast. she instantly rolled back around, back pressed against the textured piece of nature. he was close. dangerously so.

and so, [y/n] began to hatch a plan. as she would swim out, tuk would start swimming towards the surface. [y/n] was a trained warrior and swimmer, she could outswim the monster if she used the coral to her advantage. tuk just had to get back to civilization.

just as she turned to tell tuk of her plan, it appeared that it was far too late. she only whimpered once she felt the cold temperatures of the shade once again.

[y/n] grabbed tuk’s hand, praying to eywa that tuk would stay strong and stay smart. at least one of them needed to make it out alive, and it had to be tuk.

with one last squeeze of her hand, [y/n] stood up and locked eyes with the creature. behind her back, her fingers moved gracefully to communicate to tuk.

once she was done, she brought her hands above her head, making herself seem bigger as a small attempt, although it was more of a signal to tuk. with her arms up, tuk launched herself out and up, and the beast launched itself directly at [y/n].

she dodged almost perfectly if it weren’t for the spikes that took over his skin. she hissed as her skin caught one of the thorns, flesh tearing quickly.

[y/n]’s plan was, unfortunately, not at all fool-proof. dread settled in her gut as the beast’s eyes broke away from her and instead watched the distance thanks to the sight of a swimming na’vi.

“no!” she tried to scream, although the words came out extremely muffled because of the quick water.

and so, she let every primal instinct she ever had take over.

[y/n]’d never swam so fast in her life. she let the water take over, let eywa bless her and her senses. for the first time in a couple years, she could not feel the injury of her leg. it was just her and the sea.

her eyes did not leave tuk once, not even when the swam side-by-side with the monster. not even when he nearly ate her. she was far too quick for him.

they were throat-to-throat, and yet, at the last second, [y/n] sped ahead of the beast and launched herself on top of tuk. she cradled the girl as the water seemed to burst in every direction.

and then she blacked out.

when [y/n] awoke, she found herself in the comforts of her own home. the sun blinked through the marui, a feeling that caused [y/n] to smile.

that smile was quickly gone once she remembered exactly what happened before she’d passed out.

when [y/n] shot up, tsireya was quick to attend her side. “[y/n]!” she calmed, voice quiet and gentle. “[y/n], it is okay. you are okay! you are safe.”

[y/n] couldn’t even form full sentences. “tuk.”

“tuk is alive and well. she’s been awake for an hour or so, waiting for you.” tsireya’s smile faded. “but.. the sullys are keeping her from visiting.

[y/n]’s eyes narrowed at the news, confusion clouding her head. “what? why?”

“they think you did it.”

days go by, and [y/n] was quiet. quieter than she has been in years, ever since her injury. ever since her parents death. the guilt was nearly the same, nearly just as heart-wrenching.

they did not trust her. they thought she would hurt tuk. the mere thought of it sent [y/n] spiralling.

the olo’eyktan’s family tried to visit her often, but she was cut off. even when they did somehow make it inside, she was dry, often not even answering them. it was as if she pretended they didn’t exist.

[y/n] didn’t look so good either. she was leaving her own health as the last of her priorities, as if they didn’t matter compared to the fact that they didn’t trust her.

it was only thanks to the trustful word of tsireya that the sullys finally had clear enough minds to come and visit.

it was a quiet night, the only sound heard being the crash of the waves against the shore. [y/n] was busy poking at the food ao’nung delivered just moments before. she couldn’t find an appetite to even attempt eating the food, despite what she promised him.

at the sound of two bodies walking into her pod, she jumped onto her feet. ever since the incident, she was on extremely high alert. even when she slept at night, all she saw were the jaws of that monster… and then the way that the sea exploded around her.

time froze when she saw the guilty faces of jake and neytiri.

“[y/n],” jake’s voice was quiet, broken. almost as bad as she felt. “[y/n], we are so sorry.”

[y/n] only blinked. “why?” she swallowed, putting her food down behind her before taking a step towards the couple. “why in the world should you be sorry? it was only like i risked my life for your daughter and you didn’t even have the kindness to come and talk to me.” she shook her head. “i had to hear it from tsireya that you hated me. you didn’t give me a chance.”

neytiri sniffled, eyes full of guilty tears. “we understand. and that is why we are here.” she attempts to step towards [y/n], but retracts when she feels the younger girl tense. with a quick sigh, she continues. “we were worried. worried about our baby. all we knew is that you washed up together, and tuk was hurt because of something out on the reef. you were the only one with her. and we just… we thought, since you knew the reef so well, there was no way you could have run into such trouble.”

[y/n] paused before shaking her head. “i don’t know what that monster was,” she whispered. “i have never seen such a ghastly thing in my life.”

jake nods. “we know. we know that now, and we should have never doubted you. for that, we are so extremely sorry, and we are so extremely thankful that you kept tuk alive.”

[y/n] paused. after the years she spent grappling for approval from everybody on the island, after gaining it through risking her life, this was the first time that she truly felt fulfillment.

when tears welled up in her eyes, she allowed the parents to hug her. at the warmth of their arms around her trembling body, she whispered, “i would do it again.”

[bellamyblake]

The perfect sleeping arrangement

for @star-sky-earth

Alternate Universe-Canon divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Mommy!Kink, Nightmares, Anxiety Disorder

Bellamy always tries to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders but at night he's breaking apart-anxiety and nightmares are tearing him up, yet he won't let Clarke take care of him. Unless she insists and he starts opening up to her. 

The only time Bellamy ever allowed Clarke to take care of him was at night.

During the day it was all about him doing everything he possibly could-going hunting, passing by medbay to bring her lunch, toss a scarf over her naked neck so she doesn’t get sick, ask her mom if she got anything for breakfast over her rolling eyes, make sure she comes back home before ten even though there’s a council meeting that night that he won’t attend because of his guard shift.

And it wasn’t just about her really-still, two years after they set their camp and started actually building it, he was taking care of the hundred as if they were his own children just like when they first landed-he brought Jasper a new jacket, fixed the roof of the co-joined cabin that Harper, Monty, Miller and a few other kids used, made sure to raid long-forgotten bunkers for winter supplies, participated in the shoveling of the snow, smoaking the meat from the game he had caught, helping Raven with the electricity solutions she needed figuring out as well as taking up as many guard shifts as he could especially during the winter when it was harder for the delinquents.

He even volunteered once a week in the small day care they opened last fall, reading books and telling stories to the kids in the midst of giving them a few history lessons here and there.

Overall he was stretching himself a little too thin and Clarke hated it even though whenever they fought about it, he always made sure to remind her that she’s no better than him.

And that may have been true but the thing was, he refused to let anyone ever take care of him, even her.

Even though he made sure she was fine all the damn time and it was the little things that broke her-him making her tea in the evening, bringing her hot water for her freezing feet and making sure she warmed up after her enthusiastic run in the back yard when the first snow hit, him tucking her up at night even when she kicked the blanket or finding the right kind of animal skin so he would sew her gloves for the winter.

He had even learned how to knit from a grounder woman during the summer festival and when they got back to camp he secretly traded a few sweaters for some yarn, only to start working on a beautiful blue scarf for her that he wrapped around her once the first winter days arrived.

It was great being with Bellamy but it was also heartbreaking, watching him give all of himself away and never expect anything in return.

Even when they kissed or had sex he always made sure she’s came first, always made sure to show her just how much he loved her, whispering words about her beautiful body in her ear as he teased her clit and bring her over the edge.

But when Clarke wanted to do the same, he’d try to get away, refusing the attention.

Some mornings she’d feel his hard cock against her butt and reach over to take him, turn around and kiss him, try to give him a good time but he’d kiss her forehead, mumble something like “I’m fine, princess, have to get to work, maybe some other time.” and slip away leaving her angry and sad that he just denied himself pleasure.

She knew why he did it, she had seen it from the moment back at that tree on their unfortunate day trip-he didn’t think he deserved it even though she had tried to make it known, even though she always made sure to show him how much he means to her, how much she loves him-but it wasn’t about that, it has never been about that-the fact remained-he didn’t believe he was worthy of being loved, of pleasure, even when it came from the person he cared for most in the world and who cared for him just as much in return.

The thing was, he tried to hide his problems away from her as well and that had been the last straw to turn things around.

At first it was his inability to sleep because of anxiety-he had a few days or even a week sometimes every month when he couldn’t sleep-nightmares plagued him and left him weak and exhausted but he would try to hide it from her at first until one night she came home and found him so tired that he had passed out by the hearth, having only just started the fire.

She can't even move him no matter how hard she wants to. She kneels down, puts her hands under his armpits and tries but he's so heavy. On top of everything he's all wet from the snow-his jacket's peppered with fastly melting snowflakes, his hair was drenched-the curls stuck to his forehead, he was freezing and she knew his boots leaked too, so she had to get him out of it and warm him up.

”Come on, Bell, wake up, let's get you to bed.” and he manages to wake up, get to a half-awake state but he's so out of it, like a drunk five year old who had absolutely no idea what was happening to him.

”C-larke?”

“Yeah, come on, please I can't lift you on my own."

“I'm tired.” he mumbles.

“I know, but you need to get to bed.”

“Why?”

“Because it's cold out here you'll get sick”

“I'm fine...it's by the fire...just...leave me”

“No, I’m not leaving you, come on, please.” she’s desperate at that point, feels her own tears picking up at her eyes.

“It's okay, I like it here.”

“It's the wooden floor, your back already hurts, it's time for bed, please help me, please,” he groans a little, too tired to even lift his head and look at her but then she adds “for me.”

And that does it.

He manages to lift his feet just a little so she can drag him to bed and spray him diagonally at first, then she starts undressing him slowly, he's moaning everything hurts him-he's absolutely exhausted, tired to his very bone, hadn't slept in days, worked all through it too on top of it.

He's a baby when she undresses him he goes “I’m cold.”  when he doesn't have clothes on or “Ohh, my feet!”  when she takes his boots off and finds his blisters.

She’s pretty sure he’s only ever saying that because he’s not coherent of anything happening around him and he’s just a child speaking his mind.

It wasn’t just a one time deal, though-it kept happening and it worsened significantly with the change of the seasons-when winter settled he got bad, really damn bad and his anxiety made him jumpy, sad and insomniac.

In the spring it was a little better but still quite hard and the hot summer nights would throw him into another nightmare spiral that could last a month and leave him absolutely exhausted until the autumn winds hit and allowed him to breathe somewhat.

She takes him to Jackson when she comes home one night to find him passed out in his work clothes again. This time he's too tired to fully wake so she has to pile the blankets and pillows on the floor and sleep with him there to make sure he's warm enough.

Clarke figures out quickly that he loves being spooned, held, kissed-he groaned content when she ran her fungers through his hair-he liked being warm but he didn’t wear clothes in bed except for his boxers and he enjoyed most of all when she tucked him in first after taking all of his clothes and then sliding in bed, wrapping herself like a monkey around him and holding him tight.

Jackson had prescribed him some anxiety meds but after talking to some grounders at the summer Polis trade between clans, Clarke found herbs they could use to brew as a tea for him to drink.

It didn’t always do the job but it helped significantly.

Still, she figured out he had a need for her late at night in those vulnerable moments and the more they occured, the more he allowed himself to be like this despite the constant battle in his heart.

He liked being pampered, liked her momming him, taking care of him like that.

But there was still something that tips the scales and it comes from the most unexpected places of all.

Second year around when the camp is up and running, all of them have to go through the mandatory health check ups.

Of course, Bellamy had tried to get away with his, sneak out but Clarke had grabbed him by the collar-literally and dragged him there for his mom to do it, knowing if it was her, they probably would end up with her pinned on the cot, him on top, pushing into her, instead of her taking in his pulse.

And that’s when it happens-her mom takes in his blood pressure and finds it too high, listens to his heart carefully and furrows her eyebrows as she focuses. Clarke feels the cold spread through her from her back through her entire body when her mom tells them things are out of norm but that if he takes some blood pressure medicine to regulate it, everything will be alright.

Clarke hates herself for it though-she should’ve noticed it sooner. She always let herself be held by him and she had noticed, as she rest her head over his chest, that his heart beat too fast but she thought it was just him being too tired or maybe the anxiety was making it worse for him but she never once thought something could be wrong.

That’s when things changed and she refused to let him get away with being taken care of anymore.

His heart beat became her good night lullaby.

During the day he was still Bellamy the guard, Bellamy the hunter, Bellamy the protector of his silly kids starting with Jasper, Bellamy the love of her life who brought her lunch.

But at night things shifted.

He’d sit in bed and wait for her to come out of the bathroom.

“Took your anxiety meds?” he nods seriously “The blood pressure ones?”

“Yep.”

“You sure?” he had  stupid phase where he tried not to take them for a few weeks so they could save recources and ration them and she hadn’t talked to him for days after.

“I’m sure, Clarke.”

“Good boy.” she praises as she comes over “Time for bed now.” she lays him down covers him up and he looks at her with big brown beautiful eyes.

”You coming?”

“Right in, you big baby.” she promises as she leans over and kisses his forehead.

“Can you hold me?” he’s learned to ask for that with time and she had made sure to show him how proud she was of it.

“Of course.” she tucks him in and then quickly slides in on the other side of bed, wrapping herself around him, her arm over his chest and leg thrown over his. Her other one sneaks under his neck and she pushes his head to her chest so that he’s a little lower than her and her chin cover his head. That way she had quick access to his hair and she runs her fingers through his curls gently, helping him relax.

Because at night she sleeps deep, she doesn’t always hear when he wakes up from his nightmares or terrors and the only thing betraying him would be the dark circles under his eyes in the morning, so she has to ask every night how the previous one had been because only then would he be honest.

“How was last night?” he knows the question will come so he shivers a little as she holds him.

“Not too bad.”

“How many times did you wake up?”

“Once” he lies. She tightens her grip on his chest.

“Your shirt was soaked, Bell.” he shrugs and closes his eyes but she insists ”So? How many times?”

“Three.” he lets out quietly and she wraps herself tighter around him

“Why didn't you wake me up?”

“You know I can't.” she knew he wouldn’t, he never did. Unless she was there to scold him and force him to lay still while she took care of him after a night terror, he wouldn’t say a thing.

He had admitted once that he would wake up gasping for breath but force himself not to move too much and instead just stare at the ceiling while he calmed down so he wouldn’t wake her up.

She hated it. She hated whatever made him hate himself so much that he’d refuse to reach out even to her.

She knew it was about the way he was raised-his mom loved him according to his words and fond memories of her, but she was stern and had expectations for him especially after Octavia was born when the real hell began.

He had anxiety then too, night terrors as well, he may have developed this heart condition just because of the constant stress he was put under, he just had no way of knowing it.

One night as she was holding him he admitted he wouldn’t sleep at night after O was born, he’d check on her and his mom all the time, then sleep by the door when they knew there would be random check ups in Factory.

He’d fall off his bed as he tossed in his nightmare sleep, he’d shake all the time, grow restless or too tired, get angry sometimes-all signs of what he was still suffering from now.

Something else that happened lately as she came to find out-because he was so exhausted from his lack of sleep, he’d take short naps in hiding, away from her, so he wouldn’t bother her with his pain.

He’d go to the small overhang they had in the backyard where they kept the woods and sleep there and she’d hate it when he did that because it was so cold there she worried he’d get sick or he'd hide out in the kitchen while Murphy prepared dinner after bringing in the game he caught with the hunting party outside. He'd even spray on one of the metal tables at Raven and Monty's tent where they discussed plans for the camp.

So she knows, comes to figure out that spooning him and holding him helped a lot so all of this didn't have to happen. So he wouldn't have to hide away.

But something else did too.

Clarke would ask him if he’s okay, if she could do something else besides holding him but he’d of course shake his head and grumple a soft childish “I’m fine.”

She’d know better do, could always tell by the way he folds into her if he’s more vulnerable than usual, if it’s worse that night than the previous from the way his hands tremble or how he pushes his head into her hand looking for her touch.

In those nights, like tonight, she slides her hand down to hix boxers, digs in and pumps his cock to hardness.

He gasps a little, pushes his back into hers and looks up, searching for her eyes.

He doesn't want her to worry so much, so he tries to tell her it's okay but she wouldn't hear it and she jerks him off like this from behind. She knew exactly how he liked it by now-starting slowly, teasingly from the tip of his cock before sliding all the way down and cupping his balls for a moment before taking him in again.

His legs kick off the blanket just a little, he arches his back and she reins him in, calms him down, by kissing him softly, starting from his cheek, to his chin, sliding down to his neck, peppering him with her love, making sure to pay attention to all the freckles she sees in her way.

Her other hand is still in his hair-tucking at his curls, moving his head just the right way to expose more of him to her, give her a better angle as he gasps into her arms and calls for her untill he comes gasping, head buried in her chest, begging to be held, tighter, to be cuddled.

Finally, she lets him roll over when he's spent and he buries his head in her chest.

Clarke knows what he wants.

He loved sucking her tits after a good blowjob like this but she teases him a little like a boy who wants to be fed in the middle of the night but his mom's sleeping.

Bellamy buries his nose between her tits, breathes her in, lets her run her fingers through his curls, soft talk him, baby him until his quiet moans turn to desperate ones and he starts sucking, searching for her through her thin shirt.

“So impatient.”  she jokes “You want some of that big boy?”

He whines, writhes against her just a bit, searching for more like a desperate hungry kid.

“What's up?” she runs her fingers through his hair once more while he keeps trying to bury deeper into her, probably hating the fact that she decided to wear a shirt tonight but it was winter and she was cold. “You hungry?”

He groans, buries his head even closer, searches for her nipple but can't find it through the awful angle that her tits are in now that she’s laying on her side “Want me to lift that up for you?” she asks grabbing the hem of her shirt that is in fact one of his “Want to suck on mom's tits?”

He looks up then, moves away a little and she wants to laugh at how cute and adorable he is-his mouth hanging a little, saliva drooling on his chin from his desperate attempts to get to her tits.

He gives her a soft hurt look, his eyes so lost and desperate, the barest of nods and she just can't deny him when he does that-he’s so sweet, so gentle, so broken.

And so exhausted.

“Maybe this will help him fall into a fitful sleep.” Clarke thinks as she cups his cheek and runs her thumb over the dark circle under his eye.

He's so tired, it's the absolute picture perfect of a boy turned baby needing his mom and a hungry for his partner man.

She can’t handle it, would be lying if this wasn’t doing things to her too, so she raises herself up just a little and pulls her shirt off.

His reaction is immideate, he doesn’t even wait for her to fully lay back down when he takes the nipple of her right breast in his mouth and sucks on it hard.

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her up closer to him, wants to feel all of her pressed to his body, needs to have her there with him.

He doesn't just kiss her he sucks on her like a baby that's expecting for milk to come and it leaves her gasping and thrusting into his leg at the feel of her own wetness pooling into her but it is him that breaks her heart- he's so desperate for love and affection it's absolutely devastating for her.

It's noisy, he's smacking on her like a hungry baby and he's beautiful, so damn beautiful.

But he also never forgets about her-he sneaks his hand down to her ass and squeezes it, which makes her panties drench with her wetness and she grinds a little into him but she doesn't need release-this is about him, just him.

He gets a little hard again but it's not about that either now-he just wants to suck on her breasts and move his hands down her ass then up her back, then to her stomach-he loves touching her stomach, the softness there, the round curves that make her arch her back a little, makes her moan above him, reach out and put her hand on his shoulders, looking for something to support her.

Then he goes down to her panties, sinks in a finger into her making her gasp as he moves to her other breast, smacking just as hard, desperate for her beautiful breasts, desperate to beheld in her arms, to be vulnerable around her but also to love her, to let it pour out of him in any way possible.

And when he's had enough of touching her he brings his fingers up, pulls away for just a moment so he could spread her wetness around her nipple before sucking onto it hard again.

“Bellamy-” she gasps and he moves away from her nipple for just a second, peppers her chest with soft little kisses, moves to the valley of her breasts, drags his tongue there before sucking onto the skin just above her right breast and pulling her closer to him by the waist.

“Bell-”

He moves away a little, looks up at her asking if he did something wrong, worrying like always but she just takes his face in her hands and pulls him in for a kiss. She’s as desperate to have him as he is her but Clarke knows this is about him, so after she lets him go they just pant a little, breathe with hurry and desperation after their recent endeavours.

Her hand falls to his chest, his fast beating heart and she wants to command it to slow down.

“Ready to fall now?” she asks and he sneaks a glance down to her chest again before he looks right up, not daring speak out his desires but trying to silently ask for them anyway.

Without words.

He could never speak for himself.

But she would.

“You can take one if you want to.” she prompts him gently tugging at his neck and pushing him back to her chest.

“You don’t mind?” he asks and his voice comes out too small, too scared for her liking.

Clarke hurries to shake her head.

“In fact I love it.” he tilts his head a little as if asking “Really?” and she smiles “I love having you so close at night.”

HIs head falls and he looks down for a minute, accepting her answer, but trying to gather up the courage to ask something else.

“Will you still hold me?”

“Of course I will.” she promises and he smiles, beams really in a way she rarely sees on him which makes her sad because he should be like this all the time.

He quiets down after but not before slipping his hand back in her pants and sinking three fingers into her again, it's like he just wanted to be there, always, being the Bellamy that he is, to always give in return.

She grinds a little into him, he pumps her some but then they settle.

She watches him, cups his cheek runs her hand through his curly bangs smiles and kisses his forehead.

He gets a little shy like what he wants of her is too much, too weird maybe but she confirms again with a little nod that says ”It's okay, you can go ahead” and he wraps his mouth around her nipple again and smacks like a baby until finally he quiets and they fall asleep like this-his fingers in her and his mouth on her-the perfect sleeping arrangement.

[theimpossiblescheme]

“Where have you been?!”--for Goemon and whoever you want!

Goemon could already feel his heart sink a bit when a boy no older than seven answered the door, cracking it open just enough to turn on the porchlight above them.  “C-Can I help you, Mister—” he nervously eyed the sword at his side—“Mister Samurai?”

“Yes, can you tell me if… if the lady of the house is home?”  He wasn’t exactly sure what the proper form of address was.  Calling her by her first name seemed too familiar, but he couldn’t be sure if she’d changed her last name in the… fifteen years?  Since he’d last seen her.

(Had it really been fifteen years?  How had he let the time fly away from him like that?  What could he have possibly been too busy with to come back, even just to say hello?)

The boy nodded and hid a few more inches behind the door, turning his face away.  “Mom!” he called, and Goemon’s heart sunk a little bit deeper. “There’s somebody at the door! Says he wants to see you!”

“What is it, Kōhei?” A woman’s voice sounded down the inside hallway, followed by the whisper of socked feet.  Then another hand came to nudge open the door, and there was Murasaki.  Dressed in worn grass-stained blue jeans and a yellow cardigan, her long hair pinned up out of her face in a loose bun and showing a few strands of grey at her temples. Certainly thinner and more tired-looking than he remembered her, but her face lit up with a brilliant smile as she recognized him.

“Goemon!”  She sounded shocked, but delighted at the same time. “What are you doing here?”

Suddenly that sounded like a very good question.  But Goemon tried to maintain his composure.  “I… I hope I’m not intruding.  I thought I might stop by and���and see how you were doing.”

“Okay.”  She nodded slightly, as if still registering his presence, before seeming to relax a bit and opening the front door wider.  “Yeah, come on in!  Kōhei—” she ran a gentle hand through the boy’s hair—“this is Mom’s old friend, Goemon.  He’s the one who saved our whole family from the Fuma clan, remember?”

Kōhei ducked behind Murasaki’s pantleg and muttered a quick “hi” before dashing off down the hall.  Goemon couldn’t help but give a tiny smile as he slipped off his shoes, discarded his sword, and stepped inside.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just shy,” Murasaki said as she watched him run off, tucking a few loose strands of hair back into her bun before turning back to Goemon.  “So what brings you all the way out here?”  The where on earth have you been?! was implied, even if it was a gentle urging rather than a demand, and for a moment Goemon had no idea what excuse he could possibly give.  What did one even say after fifteen years?

“I—Lupin and Jigen and I had been travelling for a while, and I had… I had started to miss home. And I figured along the way I would come and visit you… since it’s been so long.”  We’ve done so much together, Murasaki, you wouldn’t believe, his thoughts raced wildly.  We stole from palaces, we robbed the biggest casino in the world, we saved a princess and uncovered a worldwide conspiracy… and I never even thought to write to you.  And it’s been too long for any apology to be good enough.  I wish you could have seen it, I know Lupin wanted to invite you along all those years ago, and I know you wanted to see the world.  I’m sorry I never took him up on it when I had the chance.  “I hope I didn’t come at a bad time,” was what he said instead.

“No, no, it’s okay!” she quickly reassured him.  “Actually, you came at a great time—I was just making us a late supper.  We’ve been so busy today the time kind of got away from us, but you’re welcome to join us!”

Goemon blinked.  Of all the responses she could have given, that was the most optimistic one, but he’d always suspected it was just wishful thinking.  Now that he was here… “I’d… I would like that.”  

Murasaki gave him another smile, an even brighter one this time, and gestured for him to follow her. He still remembered his way around the Suminawas’ old home surprisingly well, although the large TV in the living room and the power strips with multiple long extension cords running to and from the kitchen threw him for a moment, and he almost sat on someone’s stuffed dog next to the dining room table.  While Murasaki busied herself in the kitchen, he glanced around the place through the open dividing screens, taking it all in.  It was still the same house, the same woodwork, the same art on the walls and shelves, the same view of the garden outside… but it felt very different now.  More energetic in a way, more lived-in.

“That boy, Kōhei… is he yours?”  He had to be—she’d clearly named him after her grandfather, who must have passed away years ago.  Another pang wrung through Goemon at the thought.

“Mm-hm.”  Murasaki rearranged a few pots on the stovetop before getting a new one out for tea and filling it with water.  “Kaneto and I adopted him.  We’d always wanted kids, but neither of us wanted…”  She shrugged demonstratively.  “You know.”

Goemon nodded.  At least she’d found someone else who understood what she truly wanted in a marriage, even if it might seem like comparatively little.  “What does Kaneto do for a living?”

“We both teach!  At the high school the next town over—he teaches history, I teach biology.”  Setting out two teacups on the counter and leaving the water to boil, she turned back around to face her guest.  “And one the weekends he helps me with the garden.  That’s what we were doing all day until I sent him out to go run errands for me,” she added with a somewhat embarrassed wave down at her jeans.

Goemon only nodded again. He remembered her telling him, way back when they first met, that she wanted to earn her teaching degree someday, even if she had to put it on hold to care for her family.  Now she seemed truly happy with both, and he was happy for her truly—it would be selfish of him to even entertain the slightest bitter thought…

It wasn’t bitterness exactly.  More of a heaviness that sat at the bottom of his ribs and the pit of his stomach, even at seeing her current happiness.  A feeling he’d always tried so hard to transcend over the years, but it never quite worked.

A photograph hanging nearby caught his attention—a family portrait.  Murasaki stood beaming next to a man in a smart, slightly old-fashioned suit with dark brown hair.  They were about the same height, which made Goemon chuckle, but the Kaneto in the frame still managed to smile down at his wife like he couldn’t believe his good luck. Next to her stood a much more energetic Kōhei, grinning from ear to ear, and at Kaneto’s side stood a little girl, presumably their daughter, in bright yellow overalls and a fluffy white bow in her ponytail.  All four of them looked deliriously happy, and Goemon’s heart suddenly ached so much he could feel his shoulders sinking as the heaviness expanded.  He’d missed it.  He’d missed all of it.  She’d found love again, gotten married for real this time, taken in her own adorable children, built a new life for herself…

And he hadn’t even thought to write to her.  She’d never left his thoughts, never for a moment, but thoughts couldn’t be delivered to someone’s home, couldn’t be read as plainly as words on a page.  So much time he’d never get back, so many chances gone. He didn’t even feel bitter at the loss—he just felt sad, almost ashamed, that he’d never known, never got a chance to be there when it all happened.  It felt odd, almost too simple assigning such a basic word to such a strong emotion, but sometimes the simplest explanations were the best.

“It sounds like I’ve missed quite a lot.”

He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but a frown line in Murasaki’s forehead deepened as she tended to the tea.  “Well… you were gone for a long time.”  Her voice was still gentle and nonjudgmental, but the additional weight of her words settled at the pit of his stomach and joined the sour, regretful churn there.

“I know.”  It was silly, really… Goemon wasn’t entirely sure what he’d expected.  Even years before the whole mess with the Fuma clan, they had both been practically children when they first met.  And while she’d been able to stay that way a little longer, joyous and bouncy and carefree even into her twenties, he had to grow up rather quickly.  Momochi’s treachery, Jinen’s murder, that terrible cult pursuing Fujiko… and all of this before he and Lupin found each other.  Since then he’d met three new friends, watched at least two old ones die, and forced himself to reconsider his place in the world. He could never be the same callow naïve youth he’d started as, and he could never be the same man who’d left that day, promising her he’d return once he’d completed his training… maybe he just didn’t like the reminder.

I’m not going to wait for you, Goemon!

It seemed nothing had. And it was selfish of him to expect otherwise.  He’d once though that no matter how much the world changed, he would stay the same… now he realized even that wasn’t true.  He was part of the same world as Murasaki, as Lupin and Jigen and Fujiko—time passed the same for all of them, no matter how they tried to fight it.

“I didn’t know it would be so long.”  It was no excuse, but more of a musing… no one ever did, did they?  And then the next thing they knew, fifteen years had gone by without so much as a by-your-leave.

And Murasaki, kind and forever buoyant soul that she was, still refused to judge him.  Or if she was, she never betrayed even a hint of it. “I get it.”  She poured the water and tea leaves back into the pot to let them steep a few minutes.  “Life goes on, you know?  It just… happens, no matter where we are.  That’s what Grandpa used to say.”  A silence ensued then, not quite entirely comfortable, but still companionable as Goemon pondered her words.  They were true enough—if someone had told that callow naïve youth that he’d spend years of training to be an assassin, that he’d throw in his lot (and fall in love) with a pack of thieves, that he’d turn down marriage into another proud and noble family… he definitely would have laughed.

What was the phrase? The best laid plans of mice and men… they all certainly seemed to go awry in his experience.

“But for what it’s worth,” Murasaki ventured, emerging from the kitchen with two fresh cups of tea and pressing one into his hand as she sat across from him, “I am glad you came to visit.”

“… I am, too.”  He was here now, at least.  And perhaps… for all the time he’d lost, there was still time to make it up.  He wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon.  As strangely final was his last goodbye to Lupin and Jigen had felt, he loved them and Fujiko far too much to leave their sides entirely.  Besides, a samurai’s lot was to serve until death, or at least until he was no longer useful.  Retirement simply wasn’t in the cards for Goemon—he’d made peace with that long ago.  But strangely enough, the sentiment didn’t have the same… rigid structure it once had. It was less of a solemn vow, a mast he needed to lash himself to lest he be tempted by some other siren song, and more of a recognition of the way things were.  Of where his life had led him and would continue to lead.

It had led him and Murasaki in different directions.  With their own respective families, unorthodox as his own was (and he could just imagine the insufferably saccharine look on Lupin’s face if he’d heard Goemon refer to him as such).  And they were both happy.  Maybe years ago he might have resented that, but now… this also felt like the way things were meant to be.  Tea on the table, supper on the stove, sitting across from a loved one.  What more could he ask?

He did want to at least offer a little more, though—it only seemed fair.  “I will probably go back to my family’s old home for a little while, but… if you ever need somebody to help you with the children or in the garden, I’d be more than happy.”

“That sounds wonderful. Oh!”  She reached across the table to pat his hand excitedly, a quick succession of feather-light taps.  “And you have to meet Mayumi—she would adore you.”

Goemon smiled again, and some of the weight in his chest began to lessen.  “I look forward to it.”

[starstruckmyths]

Canon Steve Bucky but mandalorian like cult exists and Bucky who escaped hydra early joins it so Steve defrosted in the future meets this heroic man who never shows his face and... You know how it goes

S T U C K Y   M A N D A L O R I A N   A U

Please please please I’ll come to your ask in a bit but my mind just pushed something forward and I’ll give this a little ramble before I will unleash my thoughts about yours.

First, some lore about the Mandalorians, taken straight from the Wiki: 

The Mandalorians were a clan-based cultural group that was composed of members from multiple species all bound by a common culture, creed, and code. 

Originating from the planet Mandalore, the Mandalorians' history was one of warriors who would become feared throughout the galaxy, gaining a reputation as mercenaries and bounty hunters. 

The Way of the Mandalore involved protecting fellow Mandalorians but also wearing a helmet at all times. The cult's ideology stated that if a Mandalorian removed their helmet in front of another living being, they were no longer permitted to wear it. 

You could go so many directions with this I’m FREAKING OUT. First of all: Space AU. Mandalorian Stucky AU in space I’m S H A K I N G. One of them is the Mandalorian, a warrior and bounty hunter through and through, and then it could go so many ways, honestly. 

The other is a “helpless” villager being terrorized by some kind of monster, but who later shows willingness to fight and a certain amount of spunk and fire in them. 

The other is a different kind of bounty hunter/warrior and they’re both going after the same target, and so end up fighting for it, but then decide to maybe share the bounty, or perhaps they face a bigger threat and need to team up.

The other IS the bounty and they get ~taken~ to be turned in. But then it turns out that the cause is everything but noble, and that turning the other in could be catastrophic. Maybe HYDRA is a kind of organization there too, and they’re set on having Steve/Bucky for information or general evilness, and then the Mandalorian figures out they have to protect the other. 

But that’s the space AU ramble, you said something about... 

Modern Mandalorian AU

Bucky is the one with the helmet and doesn’t take it off -- NONNIE OH NONNIE, WHERE DO I START

I literally cannot function my head is flooding my crops have been watered my mind is rambling and bumbling and stumbling and it’s too many thoughts shfsklfjahfkjdfhfhksajfhsfs [<-- that is me, making a Windows shut-down noise].

In episode 4 of The Mandalorian, the protagonist Mandalorian meets a charming village woman who’s very kind to him, and she almost removes his helmet, and he almost lets her. That’s what I want to talk about here, because I feel that single scene would build this entire AU. 

Steve trying to take off Bucky’s mask, Bucky almost letting him before he breaks it off at the last moment. Not because he is not completely swept away by the brave young man with the most gorgeous eyes he’s ever seen, but because he can’t. He’s not supposed to do this. Being with Steve... that can never be his life. He can never have that. People like him never can.  

And I wrote a scene about that because OF COURSE I DID

Just imagine: 

|X|

Silence had fallen unlike any other silence ever had. 

It was as if the Earth itself had decided to stop spinning just for them, the breeze had laid down at their feet and the noise of the ever-bustling city had faded to a background ring barely to be heard. 

A light breath slipped passed his lips, one he was sure was not to be felt through the mask. They stood so close the tips of their shoes almost touched, and Steve thought to feel some kind of warmth, though he could have imagined it. The soldier let him, allowed him to come so close even though a distance had been kept before. 

Steve lifted his hands from along his sides, fingers uncurled and lax, posing no threat to the other who had most likely only ever seen threats in his life. The pale blue eyes followed his movements. Attentively, but not of fear or hostility, no. There was something almost curious to them, a sparkle of something hidden beneath the surface. He grazed the pads of his fingers along the fabric of the mask, imagining it to be the bare skin of the face hidden beneath, and he cupped the Kevlar in his hands, keeping the rough exterior against his palms. 

It was then that he wondered how many people had done this before him - if there had ever been any at all. He slid his hands a little further, heart brimming with the unspoken permission. No words were said, and yet he knew it was alright, he knew he was allowed. His gaze went from the mask to the hair, to the suit and even briefly to the ground, but they always went back to the eyes, to look into those pools of pale blue that haunted his dreams and lay at the tip of his tongue, but he could never quite figure out why. 

Why were they so familiar to him?

His fingers found the clasp of the mask, the only thing keeping it on so securely. All he had to do was press and click, and then pull away to let the mask come off. It was so simple, and yet there was a tremble to his hands as he lay his tips on the edges. They were in a kind of half-hug, Steve’s arms resting partially on the soldier’s shoulders, and were they to take one step closer they would be wrapped in a tender embrace, chest to chest, nose to mask. 

Before he could loosen the clasp and finally gaze upon the treasure of the hidden caves, another set of hands landed on his own, taking them oh so gently and bringing them back. They were not pushed or pulled, but rather kept. The soldier had his hands around Steve’s own, holding them between them as if to share a lover’s minute. 

“I cannot,” the soldier spoke, his voice holding an edge of withheld grief, “This is the Way.”

Steve only just managed to take another breath, his lungs so deprived of air it was as if he was too high up to ever come back down. His heart raced, faster than a horse’s in a race, and he swallowed around his own disappointment, mustering a smile to his face as he held the tender gaze. “I understand.”

The soldier released one of his hands, bringing it up to Steve’s face in much the same way as Steve had done before. The fingers uncurled and lax, the backs stroking down his cheek in a way so horribly soft he was not able to suppress the shiver crawling down his spine. Then the soldier cupped his face, fingers lying warm and heavy beneath his ear as the thumb rested on his cheek. 

Just like before, the eyes pierced into his, so deep and profound, as if he would drown if he looked for too long. The soldier released a breath of his own, a sound almost melancholic. 

“No,” he said, “You don’t.”

|X|

Oh look now I’ve made myself bittersweet sad. 

I just-- I’m a rambling mess, Nonnie. Oh my goodness. I’m just- I can’t. I love this. My head is spinning and I love it so much. 

I imagine the AU would be like Steve seeing Bucky sweep in to fight a group of dangerous criminals, getting in and out on a whim, and he becomes rather interested in this ~mysterious soldier~. 

He tries to get the soldier’s attention, probably by showing off. He jumps out of planes, takes on way too many bad guys for his own good, showcases some of his abilities, gets into a lot of trouble hoping that a certain someone will save him. 

He half-fails, half-succeeds, as he has to save himself but what do you know, the mystery man is standing right outside the building. They introduce themselves. Or rather... Steve does, and the mysterious man is just The Soldier. Steve goes along, trying to ask questions, to find out, to know. 

Soldier/Bucky won’t admit it, but he finds it endearing, and it’s been so long since someone has worried for him, or has been so interested in him. 

Nonnie, you clearly have an idea, and I KNOW you’ve been thinking out parts and plots for yourself. Feel free to come back any time and tell me all about it. 

Stucky Modern Mandalorian AU(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆

[blackcatanna]

Tales of the Reluctant Kazama Bitch Part 2: Edo Blossoms!

We left our would-be heroine galloping across the country, desperately clinging to the man who's repeatedly threatened to kidnap and impregnate her. However, all of this ickyness is forgotten in the face of a greater threat: her creepy brother and stepdad, who want to turn everyone into shitty vampires.

Chapter 1:

*Sadly scrolls past superior men to get to Kazama's portrait* :'(

If this route contains plenty of free Sen and Kimigiku, I will be less mad at it.

Wait, when you say, "abandon our horse" you are gonna come back for it, right?! RIGHT?!!? O_O

A deserted house, huh? Seems like a great place to have a nap and totally not get murdered by the spirits of the restless undead.

And, of course, Kazama just HAS to take a minute to be a bougie bitch, "Hmph. I would sooner call this a hut than a house."

"Just shut up, and sit tight." Classic Kazama.

Kazama going on about "The destructive force of humans" again -_- Pot kettle black. Bitch.

Wow, the Yukimura clan helped Tokugawa Ieyasu "usurp control of the country with military force." In my head, this takes place in the same universe as the Samurai Warriors series X_X

"You take me for some boorish creep, don't you?" Yes.

"I shall not lay a finger upon you until our marriage is finalized." That's great, provided that I get a say in whether or not we get married!

Amagiri is being helpful and practical and Kazama is just being extremely rude, stubborn and idiotic. X_X

"You'd better not bitch at all, got it?" Um, Kazama, you're the one who bitches about everything. Not me.

"The thought of Kazama rescuing me stood at odds with the initial impression I'd had of him as a crude, sadistic warrior who hated the Shinsengumi." Um, why can't he be all of those things? Just because he's a dick doesn't mean that he's going to let his precious brood mare fall off a cliff!

HAND HOLDING ALERT! THE ORGASMETER IS GOING WILD!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT INITIATED!

Hold up, female demons all have the same stamina as normal humans but males get superhuman endurance?! This is so unfair! -_-

Chapter 2:

Guess I'll never see my beloved Shinsen-gummies again :'(

Here goes Kazama again, shitting on the Shinsengumi for risking their lives because he can't comprehend the idea of anything being worth risking his own precious life.

"Kazama dismissed the Shinsengumi to a degree that I could only describe as willful ignorance." YES GIRL. GET HIM. "I had never met anyone so incapable of empathy." Most sociopaths find it advantageous to at least pretend to empathise with people. I guess when you're an all-powerful demon price, such precautions are needless.

Ooh! Can I please stay at the Shinsengumi's headquarters!

OH SO NOW MY OPINIONS ARE ASININE?!??!!! I THOUGHT THAT THIS HO AGREED WITH ME THAT FURIES ARE BAD!?

Wait, so now I don't want Kazama to kill my family of creeps? Y tho? I love my family but I still wouldn't let them commit stupid genocide. I guess she really believes that she can reason with them. We'll see how that works out.

I am enjoying this slice of Kodo backstory to hammer home how far he has fallen.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! SO, IN THIS ROUTE, KAZAMA HATES HIM SO HE CAN'T PIMP ME OUT TO KAZAMA SO HE WANTS ME TO "MATE WITH" THE FURIES INSTEAD!??!? WTF!?!!

"Bitter, senile idiot" For once, Kazama is right.

Did Kodo just throw me at Kazama?! Stepdad of the year.

"Perhaps I'm being forward, but I see in you the virtues befitting the leader of the Yukimura clan." Stop, stop. My penis can only get so erect.

"You will feel better watching me peel the flesh from their bones with the swing of my sword." O_O Is this Game of Thrones now? Uh, thanks, I guess, for those words of, uh? Comfort?! What girl doesn't want to watch a guy dismember her family!?

Awe, tiny Chizuru's village burning memory :'( My heart! :'(

Shiranui "plopping" himself on the floor is a big mood :')

Nooo! The Shogunate is feeding the Shinsengumi to the furies?! :'(

Spider Kaoru being weird and creepy (literally) as usual.

Ugh, I thought we'd agreed to murder the fam?

Ooh! This house has pretty wallpaper!

Why couldn't Kaoru just live with me and Kodo for all those years?! Did Kodo just hand him over to those abusive fucks because he couldn't be bothered to raise a child who didn't have a precious vagina?

I love the scuttling sound that the minions make when they assemble! :')

Turns out, even Amagiri can't punch a fury to death X_X

DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD. Kodo just went so, so evil o_e

I've stopped listening to Kazama whenever he goes off on one of his rants about how all humans suck and are to blame for all of our problems -_-

When the nice music started playing, I expect to see someone I actually liked but it was just Kazama in a new outfit.

CALM DOWN, YOU THIRSTY WENCH! IT'S JUST A NEW OUTFIT X_X

"Quit wallowing in your self-pity for once." Wisdom?! From Kazama?!

"Do you remember the Shinsengumi captain named 'Harada'?" O_O Yes. What happened to him?! IS HE OKAY?!?? DID YOU KILL HIM!!!?!!!!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :'( :'( :'( </3

And so it begins. Hanging out with these fuckers while watching everyone I love die from afar </3

Awe, Shiranui and Harada became buddies <3 and now Shiranui blames his bad luck for Harada's death. :'( It's not your fault, Shiranui D'X

Kazama: "No time for tears." BEGONE, THOT. :'(

Chapter 3:

Bad news, huh? Bad news for me or for you, Kazama? >:(

*Winces in anticipation of more dead Shinsengumi members*

RIP Kondou. You were too wholesome for this cruel world :'(

Welp, looks like I'm chasing my beloved ho's across the country :D

Oh, Kazama thinks that I'm joking about trying to reunite with my long lost friends. You don't KNOOOW me!

"Harada, who was ripped to shreds at Ueno. No one's patting him on the back for dying like a wounded animal." LET ME AT THIS EVIL CUNT!!! HOW DARE HE!!! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN!!!! DO YOU NOT POSSESS AN OUNCE OF RESPECT, OR TACT, AT THE VERY LEAST!?!!?

"All they'll ever be is a footnote in the annals of history. Their legacy is being spat on." "Kazama made a lot of sense." BITCH WHERE!!!????!

"I knew women were whimsied by delusion, but you are sitting at the top of the pile." -_- Are all demons this sexist?! I don't think I want to hang out with other demons anymore.

"You should go after him." Amagiri, why?! -_- I don't wanna! Let him stew in his own miserable juices.

He looks like a disgruntled cat.

OH, BITCH EXPECTED ME TO FOLLOW HIM. I should never have listened to Amagiri. He has no eyebrows.

We're in my burned out village, aren't we? :'(

OMG KAORU'S DEAD BODY IS RIGHT THERE O_O

"Why are you crying?" REALLY?!???!

This is v sad :'(

OH CAN YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HOW THE HUMANS ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING FOR FIVE MINUTES WHILE WE BURY MY BROTHER, WHOM YOU LITERALLY MURDERED. IF YOUR SO POWERFUL, WHY CAN YOU ONLY KILL?! YOU ONLY SAVED ME FOR YOUR OWN DISGUSTING PURPOSES. IF YOU TRULY SAW KAORU'S POTENTIAL TO BE A FINE LEADER, WHY WERE YOU SO QUICK TO KILL HIM?!? HUH!??! D'X

"He died just as he lived--alone" :'(

Kodo absolutely needed a good killing but I believe that Kaoru was redeemable. :'(

WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIS PERMISSION TO REMEMBER YOUR FAMILY THE WAY YOU CHOOSE!?!

"It was never my intention to reveal the history of the Yukimura clan to you." BITCH, WHO ARE YOU TO DENY ME THE HISTORY OF MY OWN CLAN?! >:(

"Impatience is unbecoming" Oh no, heaven forbid you lose interest in me! Not that that would ever happen to this thirsty whore.

"Obedience is a good look on you. You are well on your way to becoming the ideal life." LISTEN HERE YOU SMUG PRICK!!!!!! I WILL DIE BEFORE I EVEN CONSIDER THAT REVOLTING POSSIBILITY!!!!

Here we go, time for an orgy of sadness, courtesy of Amagiri! :(

"Okita has passed away from illness." Not surprising but very, very sad :'( Poor Okita, slowly wasting away while his world falls apart around him </3

Saito's MIA, which doesn't look good but, historically, he was fine so I can handle that, I guess O_O If he is confirmed dead later, imma be real mad. AND SAD. D'X

Nagakura is also MIA?! Big sad </3 I bet that Kazama is secretly loving this >:(

HEISUKE AND SANAN ARE FULLY DEAD!!?? D'X NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is too much sad. FFS, KAZAMA, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME SEE MY FRIENDS BEFORE THEY WERE ALL KILLED, YOU HEARTLESS WENCH! WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG TO JUST WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT WAD DEAD SO THAT I'D HAVE TO CLING TO YOU!?

"What about the others?" WHAT OTHERS?! Hijikata, Souma, Nomura? Is that it?! My family is DEAD, my friends are DEAD. Kazama doesn't see that as a problem because my fertile body is still intact but MY HEART IS BROKEN D"X

"That little dog's still got some bite, eh?" SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP.

"Everyone's still putting up a fight, huh" Well, not everyone. Most people are dead but, uh, good on you for seeing this as a glass half full...

Ugh, why does Kazama have to come with me to Ezo?

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME STRIKES AGAIN.

Aaaawwweee Shiranui brought me Harada's spear D'X

Shiranui is so much better and kinder than Kazama :'(

HOW CAN KAZAMA GO THROUGH LIFE BEING SUCH A CUNT AND SCOFFING AT EVERYONE'S SINCERE BELIEFS. No wonder even his allies hate him.

Shiranui, stop with the kind, heartfelt words! You're making me cry D'X

"Shiranui was nowhere near as bad as Kazama" Truth.

"Isn't this just another worm you've let crawl into your insipid heart?" Wow, this route is actually making me like Kazama LESS.

Sendai is pretty.

WE MISSED THEM AGAIN?!!? NOW I'M STUCK ALONE WITH THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN!?!?

Wow, this CG is telling. Chizuru crying against Kazama's turned back.

Chapter 4:

Well, at least I get to stay in a mansion while I cry over my dead friends and family.

Omg, I'm basically Kazama's housewife X_X

Kazama's in a bad mood, huh? Did Hijikata die before Kazama could fulfill his promise to me? Useless man.

OMG, HE REALLY HAS MADE ME HIS WENCH!!! NO!!! DON'T FETCH HIM THE SAKE!!!!

"Fetch me a bottle at once." "I'm only going to grab you one, okay...? Drinking too much isn't good for your health." I'M DEFINITELY HIS WIFE!!! HELP!!!! HIW CAN I WAKE FROM THIS NIGHTMARE??!!

"Sake is more of a medicine than a poison, and as you've noticed, I'm ill. Make it three bottles." Aaaand my husband's an alcoholic X_X

"Hey, don't take your frustrations out on me. Also, it's only a 'medicine' when you drink in moderation--not when you're piss drunk." Yaass Chizuru! You tell that edgy thot!

"Humility is a more attractive colour on you. From now on, feel free to humble yourself by complimenting me however much you deem fit." That would be never. I cannot with This Bitch. Eat shit and die, Kazama.

Okay, now things are really sad. Still chasing my friends as they fight against all the odds D'X

Aaaaaah, the tension is killing me! This is going to be horrible D'X

SHIMADA AND SOUMA ARE ALIVE!!!

"I'm going to kill each and every one of you impotent bastards until there's none left. See you in Hell!" :') I've missed Hijikata!

WHY AM I CHASTISING SOUMA FOR STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF AGAINST KAZAMA!?

Oh great, now we're hunting for Hijikata's corpse. SADNESS INTENSIFIES.

"What about you, girl...?" First of all, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Secondly, the way he addressed me reminds me of my brother XD

ER MAH GERD!!! HE IZ KISSING MEH!!! O_O

"Although I'd wanted to scream, I couldn't." O_e Tha fuck?!?

WITH TONGUE!!!

Final Chapter:

Please let me not be married to Kazama X_X

"I was alone" Good start.

"This incessant urge to clean" Can't relate.

"Sadly, my father passed away." XD

Yaaaas become a doctor! You don't need no man!

However, tell me more about this cute medicine clerk ;)

Speak of the demon X_X

When you get sick of kindly old ladies telling you to find a man so you settle for some dickhead edgelord X_X

"He was his usual, callous self." Husband material X_X

Wait, I've been all alone all this time?! What about Sen?!? Why can I not have friends? :'(

"I've come to claim you." BITCH, I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT (BUT VERY SAD AND LONELY) WOMAN!

"I will tolerate no resistance" O_O

"Kazama might have been a pain, but he was my pain" Uh, okay XD

So, I guess I do marry Kazama purely because he's the only person left alive who knows what I went through X_X . At least Chizuru developed... Not a backbone but... Almost a backbone. Maybe X_X I'm sure that Chizuru will make a lovely stepford wife but that make me kind of sad -_-

[atopearth]

Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms Part 11 - Kazama Chikage Route

I know that Kazama needs to care about her well-being since he can’t very well let her die from exhaustion when she’s with him, but it was nice to see him notice when she was tired and find a hut to rest for the night to take a proper break. It’s great that Chizuru is finally showing interest in her roots as a Demon! I’ve always wanted to know more but since most routes revolved around the Shinsengumi guys accepting her for who she is, demon or not, it was hard to learn more about them. It’s nice to see Kazama telling her more about their history, like how it was inevitable that they had to exile themselves in hiding because no matter how powerful they were, humans had the advantage in numbers, and that was something they couldn’t overpower. Lmao when Chizuru takes her bedding to the other side of the room because she doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping so close to Kazama under the same roof. Girl, if he wanted to attack you, you wouldn’t get much of a distance advantage when he’s so strong😆 It’s kinda cute how Kazama follows Demon tradition and won’t do anything until they’re married. I feel like one of the reasons why Kazama was insistent on this route to Edo that Amagiri told them to not go through since it could cause trouble (due to Kazama not continuing his alliance with the Satsuma, and Chizuru is unknown to them I guess) with their identities was because he knew that Chizuru was fatigued and he didn’t want her to have to push herself anymore on these gruelling mountains. Good that she calmed him down and said they should go another way just in case them trying to enter through here would alert Kodo.

Omggg it was so sweet when Kazama grabbed her hand and walked with her like that after she nearly fell off the cliff or something. So dangerous, but him ending up doing that is so worth it🥰🥰 I was right! He was trying to get through that checkpoint for her sake!🥰🥰🥰 He’s so sweet and considerate! It’s common and natural instinct for male Demons to guard the well-being and safety of their women since they lack stamina and strength compared to them, so I guess he’s been trained to take care of women properly!😆 That CG of him holding her hand just makes me squeal in happiness😊😊 It’s pretty saddening to see Chizuru think about all those past happy memories she had with Kodo back in the clinic, only for him to come and step all over them as the monster he truly has become/is. So glad Kazama appeared when Kodo started saying he wanted Chizuru to breed with his Furies eughhh. Lmao at Kazama reprimanding her for not laying low like he told her to, and instead running right to trouble haha. I’m happy that Kazama prioritised protecting her instead of killing Kodo😊 And also happy that he acknowledged her conviction towards going after Kodo and Kaoru since this isn’t just Kazama or the Demons’ problems, it’s also her responsibility since they’re her family. It’s nice to see that Chizuru is recovering some of her memories of her burning village and how Kaoru led her away and then Kodo saved them by escaping with them. Wonder why Kodo couldn’t take Kaoru along if he could take Chizuru though…but I guess Kaoru would have wanted the Nagumo clan to think he was Chizuru so they could run... Nice to see that she can empathise with their feelings even if she can’t agree with their actions.

Is it just me or did I never truly realise how much the shogunate betrayed the Shinsengumi? Shiranui coming and telling Chizuru that the shogunate was already discussing surrender terms with the Satsuma-Choshu and that they practically sacrificed the Shinsengumi to the Imperial nationalist party because they had a bone to pick with them due to the past battles made me so shocked and disgusted. How could they do such a thing? The Shinsengumi are fighting their hardest and so desperately because they believe in them and yet they treat them like this to the end, I just can’t help but cry at how unfair and heartless this all is. And the Shinsengumi will be up against the enhanced Furies alongside Kaoru, they won’t even have a nice swift death, they’ll be torn to shreds and even eaten! As much as I’d like for both Kodo and Kaoru to have happy endings since they had to suffer so much as the people who were abandoned and abused by both humans and Demons; with their mindset and with how much Kaoru’s life has just been filled with pain, I honestly do think that it’s impossible for them, or maybe mainly Kaoru to really find solace in anything. Kodo died very quickly but I guess Kaoru was able to escape to come back as the crazy he is for another day. I do feel terrible for them though, them wanting revenge is justified, it’s just that their revenge would kill so many people and create unimaginable damage to Japan and even this world if they allowed such monsters to rampage. It’s nice that Kazama at least now acknowledges that there are humans who aren’t driven by greed and power. Now that Kodo is gone, Chizuru wants to see what has become of the only true warriors left - the Shinsengumi, and I would like to as well…

Not a fan of Kazama’s Western clothes but he always looks hot anyway, so, sure this is good too🤣 Although I feel terrible that Harada is dead, when Shiranui said that he might be bad luck since people he fights alongside with (they had a temporary alliance fighting against Furies) usually end up dying after, I couldn’t help but think about how Shiranui must feel that way towards Takasugi as well… I honestly didn’t think Kaoru would really be dead even though Kazama said he inflicted a grave wound and that there was no way of him surviving. I really thought he’d be okay and come back and attack them again. I honestly also didn’t think Kazama would take her back to her burnt village and that she would see Kaoru’s dead body laying on a bed of flowers with a peaceful expression. It honestly makes it hard to not feel sad and terrible about how much pain he had to suffer his whole life, and that it was only in death that he felt some sort of peace… So, the humans that destroyed Chizuru’s village were the anti-shogunate alliance encompassing the Satsuma, Choshu and Tosa domain that requested the help of the Yukimura clan but were refused since they don’t dabble in human affairs, but then they took that refusal as a challenge to their authority and decided to get rid of them… How honestly petty of them…I think I can see in a better light why Kodo was so insistent on revenge, he was the only adult left of the Yukimura clan, that knew how the clan lived, how kind they were etc and yet they were destroyed by such humans, how could he not get revenge for all the people he cared for that died? Kaoru kept to his promise to Chizuru that he’d protect her because he’s the boy of the family, and so he pretended to be her and went to Nagumo, but in the end, that destroyed him, not only did the humans destroy his former life, the Demons also destroyed his current life and potential future. They all suffered so much because of these humans, how could they not get revenge? How could they possibly understand Chizuru’s perspective that they should care about all the humans they are killing when these humans never cared about theirs? In the end though, the human civilians they killed definitely didn’t deserve any of this, and they did need to be stopped regardless, but it’s just so painful to have to know more of their background and history because it makes me feel bad that I detested them so much in the other routes. Even though I felt like I could understand them to an extent, now I feel like I really knew nothing of the magnitude of their hatred. They had every reason to become the people they were, in a sense, it couldn’t be helped, I don’t think I would have been able to do any different. Especially when even until the end, even until their last breath, the Yukimura clan actually held on to their principles and chose not to fight against these humans that came to kill them! I’m so disgusted and devastated.

I’m glad Chizuru realised on her own how reckless she was for wanting to head to Aizu castle without knowing anything and only going there on the possibility that the Shinsengumi should be there. It was so difficult to hear the passing of the guys as usual, but it was nice to see that Kazama was impressed and shocked that despite the Aizu having surrendered already, Hijikata still remains on the battlefield fighting where he can until his last breath. I was also impressed with Chizuru asking Kazama to go with her to Ezo (where Hijikata is) to witness the end of the Shinsengumi, and to tell Hijikata of the passing of the other guys just in case he hadn’t heard yet, since they deserve to live on in people’s memories and to be told of their last stand. When Shiranui came and handed Chizuru Harada’s spear and told her he was one of the bravest and ferocious warriors he’d ever met, I couldn’t help but cry. Harada was so kind, so strong, so valiant and unrelenting, I hate imagining him being torn to shreds by the Furies when he had finally run out of strength, it just tears my heart apart thinking about it🥺🥺🥺 But I’m also really happy and touched that Shiranui acknowledged him so much. It was really sweet when Kazama encouraged her and acknowledged that even if she didn’t pick up a sword and fight in this war, she fought in her own way with Kodo and everyone, she definitely deserves to cry if she needs to, I’m sure anyone has the right to cry in such turbulent times tbh. And having missed the Shinsengumi every time she thought she had finally reached them, who wouldn’t feel depressed? They’re so close and yet so far…

Since it’s difficult for suspicious civilians like them to get a boat to Ezo where everything is taking place, they had no choice but to stay at Sendai for a while to figure out what they can do to get there, and lmao it seems like they’ve been here long enough that Chizuru and Kazama’s relationship is practically like a bickering wife and husband. She takes care of all the homely duties and controls how much sake he drinks and can tell when he’s in a bad mood, and can even compare his attitude to be like a cat hahahaha. It’s nice to see Chizuru more assertive. She also seems much more mature, although she’s anxious that she can’t reach the Shinsengumi and doesn’t know what’s going on, she also understands that Kazama and Amagiri are trying their best and she is grateful for that instead of letting how desperate she is overcome her. I’m glad Kazama encouraged her when she was about to fall into depression that she might never see the Shinsengumi, he’s right, as the one who knew all of them and yet is still alive to this day, it is her duty to witness whatever else is left in their journey and to remember the people that they were, so she can’t lose faith yet, especially since the Satsuma are allowing them to board their ship now! Btw, dang does Kazama’s route have so many CGs! I’m so happy but jealous since the others have so few compared to him! When he hugged her, my heart felt so warm! He’s worried that she won’t be able to take it seeing the Shinsengumi’s demise. I found it so sweet when Chizuru asked Kazama to be beside her as she watches over everything that will encompass. He is the only one she wants to watch over them with. He is the one she trusts the most and believes will be there for her. At least she was able to see Souma and witness him becoming the chief and surrendering on behalf of the Shinsengumi, their pride and convictions live on with him and I think it’s great that they were at least able to see that.

I was about to scream at Chizuru for asking Kazama what he was going to do now since she’s done with everything she wanted to do (since she couldn’t find Hijikata’s remains, but at least they were able to find out from a soldier that he died valiantly like the man that he was), I’m so thankful he told her and then kissed her haha. He ain’t leaving you forever, Chizuru! He’ll take care of his clan by moving them somewhere else outside of human sight (since they might get attacked) and she’ll stay in Ezo to come to terms with the memories of the Shinsengumi. It was so sweet when he told her that she can come find him when she’s ready, but if she doesn’t, he’ll come for her☺️☺️☺️ He’s so cuteee~ Lol, I guess it is better for Chizuru to stay still at Kodo’s clinic and have Kazama find her instead but loll, she was literally just waiting for him to come get her😆 It was great when he came and then said he had prepared everything and found a place for his clan to move and that he was only missing her from this plan. I swooned! Hahahah, Kazama you’re so smooth!🤣 Nice ending🥰 Bad ending seems pretty silly though, I feel like even if Chizuru said she’d go alone to look for the Shinsengumi, Kazama would at least follow her to keep her safe considering how much they had bonded this past year, like what a waste to spend all your time getting her here, and then letting her run off and die by herself! I have mixed feelings towards the unrequited love ending. I find it weird that Kazama would die by Hijikata’s sword even if he were to turn into a Fury and be crazed enough to be seeking death. Also, I felt like it was more of a bad ending for Hijikata lol, just because that, a Hijikata who would be at such despair and allow the Fury powers to consume him as he tries to kill whatever he can in revenge for Kondou and his comrades is just saddening. A Hijikata that has discarded all hopes and is not aiming to fight the Imperial soldiers until his last breath just sounds so terrible.

Anyway, overall, I really enjoyed Kazama’s route, I loved it! Ending could have been better since I would have enjoyed them actually getting together and being together for a bit but it was still good! I think the story was very well developed and had good pacing. I liked how they didn’t dwell on Kaoru and Kodo being the “villains” they had to deal with for the entire time and instead they chose to deal with their story with a swift end to it, but also adding to it through Kazama’s recalling of the Yukimura clan’s past. It gave me a much better impression and more fleshed out background for why Kodo and Kaoru were how they were and how they were forced to become so deranged and unrelenting towards using and killing humans to achieve their revenge. It made me feel for them on another level and I’m glad they did that. I also really loved how the last half was based around Chizuru and Kazama trying to reach the Shinsengumi and see their ending because it helped to show Kazama that there were humans with proper principles and convictions and that refused to bow down to greed or a comfortable life. Kazama has always looked down on humans and never believed them to be worth a mention, so I’m glad Chizuru’s existence guided him to people that could show him another side of humans and I liked the change in him. Best thing was that this route had a coherent story AND it had a good amount of romance as well! Kazama was the one who showed the most emotional and physical support for Chizuru, but I think her existence and words made him realise how interesting she and the Shinsengumi were as well, and that helped to open his eyes broader to the vast amount of humans in this world, so I really liked how they both supported each other and how they both came to enjoy each other’s company, it was really sweet and cute! Definitely the most well rounded route in the game!

[pyrosophist]

III: Secrets

She throws herself into the seeking of secrets with all the fervor of her youth at university, restless and tirelessly honing herself towards a specific goal. It was knowledge then, and it’s knowledge now, too; though this knowledge is one to grant her power, and once she makes her way from Shattrath, she molds to this purpose instantly, easily.

Years pass, like this.

At first, she ventures out into a half-world still embroiled in war, amid the struggles of the Tempest Keep and Black Temple, myths of heroes and colossal monsters in the depths of Hellfire Citadel and Blade’s Edge. Thinariel is not one of their number, but she tests herself against the infinitely eroding world of Outland. Her praxis is cunning and spell and craft, to ward away storms of dust and ash, to hide among dark and safe places, to take of the land and learn by the taking. It has so many things to tell her.

To her chagrin, she learns very quickly that impish is a very specific word with a very specific meaning for a very good reason, because she summons one herself; its name is unimportant, but she wrests it from the creature and binds it all the same.

She commands its aid more in gathering and scouting than in combat, and this is a thing which saves her on more than one occasion. Imps are not to be dismissed; it is the creatures which are small and cunning which survive, and being very large and powerful did not rightly serve the likes of Magtheridon or Illidan, did it? The imps are useful.

She defends herself aptly, anyhow. She remembers the motions and breathing exercises that Lathar had drilled into the lot of them, Blood Mage traditions bastardized twice-over by him and now her. She reaches for the Inferno and it answers, in searing bolts and waves of flame, in choking clouds of ash and smoke. She ends each conflict quickly, to avoid burning out. If she did not become ruthless, out on the wastes and fetid bogs and mountains, she would become dead.

In the Terokkar Forest, she finds.. a dragon.

It is smaller than she expects of dragons, but it is surely recognizable as such, wings and tail and plasma-burning breath and all. She narrowly dodged that one, and because she is smart and enjoys living she does not retaliate at the still-comparatively-gigantic creature, and instead takes cover.

It takes her only a moment or so to deduce that it is a Nether dragon, possibly no more than a drake — and oh, briefly she wonders about cruel and callous things like what she could make with its bioincendiary glands or powdered scales. Then the creature lets out a wail like the one that’d drawn her, originally, and she stops, and the opportunism leaves her thoughts because she is a compassionate creature. It is wounded.

“Hello?” she tries from behind a tree, and perhaps out of oddness it does not blast the direction of the voice. “I mean you no harm. May I approach?” It is a slow going thing, but eventually the drake lets her near, every muscle in its body pulled taut out of fear and pain and danger and oh, Light, its leg. Speared through by a fel orc javelin, shredding and pinning down the muscles it needs to balance itself on ground and in the air.

She does what she can, to ease the creature’s nerves. It is hours later, when she has pulled the javelin free and poured tonic and remedy into the wound and cauterized it, quickly and fiercely, that the drake sags and deigns to introduce itself. Malfas, he says. He’d escaped from Shadowmoon, where his clutch and his people were killed or enslaved. He is alone.

Thinariel decides to let him be a little less alone, and sets up camp. She sends the imp off searching for a large bit of wildlife, so she can walk out and boil its skull and butcher it for dinner. They eat, and talk. At one point she inquires as to the drake’s age, and the creature heaves a laugh, and says that they count time not in years but in the cyclical vortices of nethereal energy and pressure that sound through the whole of the land, in infrequent intervals. Time bends to chaos; he could be twenty or twenty thousand. (He is twenty.)

She shares her intention of exploration and delving, and Malfas decides it is a better purpose than mere survival. They travel together, more often than not; on occasion she spends time in some ruin or cave system or ritual, and he occupies his time elsewhere. The subject of striking back at the Dragonmaw is one that makes him afraid, for even with the forces of the Black Temple broken, the orcish clans are mighty. He finds others of his kind, though, on one of the times she returns to Shattrath and reports her findings and checks in on friends who might as well be family, for how anxious she has been to see them and how glad they are to see her.

Disaster strikes, too, on one of these visits. She goes to Rilak’s flock, and when she asks around for Ressca’s whereabouts, she is sorrowfully informed that the historian perished amid failed negotiations with their kin, in Terokkar. They’d hoped that even their mad brethren would know the value of so much history and knowledge, and see peace if not reason. They were wrong. She was wrong.

She is numb, and when she is invited to attend the Arakkoa’s mourning ceremony, she says nothing as prayers and wine are passed around, and she all but flees the city the following day. Everything you touch turns to dust.

She asks secrets from a circle of skulls upon a rise in the Blade’s Edge Mountains, pieces together shattered fragments of lingering soulthought around an abandoned ritual site in Shadowmoon Valley. Zangarmarsh yields wondrous bounties of magic and essence, as does the Netherstorm; she reaches out for a stream of mana through the sky, upon Malfas’ back, and she captures lightning in a bottle. Just like the stories had said, once.

Soon she has to transfer her writings from an improvised journal into a true grimoire, which she tans and binds out of demonhide for its leather and parchment. When she feels the resonant power and layered thought poured into its pages, she feels satisfied.

The Scryers remark well upon the lore and spells she finds, at the times that she revisits the Tier and makes her presence known. This is good for her, too, because it helps reassemble some parts of Outland’s history and the forces at play in it, and for it she earns such boons as tomes and trinkets. She is not greedy for the boons, and has learned to craft some of her own, so she does not feel bad about sharing only half of the secrets she’s found in totality.

The Dark Portal draws her interest, when she has cultivated the skills and instruments to poke and prod at the weft of the world, and study how it splits and frays. The gargantuan crown of Hellfire Peninsula does not defy her understanding, and she pulls motes of magic from its stone and mortar that reveal so much, to her.

Outland is a shattered world, fragmented as a nexus between so many worlds of the Nether — this she has known, this she learned from the Scryer’s libraries, but it is a source of danger to be abjured, not studied. She risks much by learning, and she tells no one of the spells and rituals she finds. It is an application of concepts she already knows; indeed, reaching for the Inferno is an act of summoning itself, of breaking the lines of the real so that Fire can flood the gaps of shattered logic and structure.

When she manages a reliable teleport, sending herself plummeting up through coruscating oceans of raging magic, the glimpse leaves her with a week’s migraine. But she succeeds. Oh, she succeeds.

When Veira invites her for dinner in their humble hovel with her son and the two adopted orphans she’d taken under her wing, she sees something changed in the warlock, and thereafter does not invite her again.

When Kahesta refuses her gifts, saying he has no need of the Consortium’s trade and that she should focus on more humble pursuits, the conversation erupts into argument. It causes him sorrow to see her like this, ever-reaching, ever-greedy. It is untenable.

She is sad to see them go.

She finds other friends, who instead she calls colleagues, and picks them carefully that they do not stand in the way of her knowledge and power.

Life in the Lower City goes on.

[icharchivist]

Honestly if the past Allen bookman theory is true I'm excited for 2 things 1) Allen the man who knows everything. How are all the bookman going to feel about him reappearing. Resentful or excited? 2) how will Lavi and Allen's relationship change knowing they're both clans members?

YEAAH. Let’s be real this also drives me a LOT behind that one theory. Because with the Clan soon to enter into the picture, this would bring a lot of impact. 

(we’ve discussed for hours on my blog about how Allen’s relationship so far with Bookman could be interpreted would Past!Allen have been his apprentice and it already makes me sad but convinced and excited so i just can’t wait for more of that insight if it happens).

1) is exactly why I believe that if we get into a Bookman Clan storyline, this WILL be trouble for Allen. there’s already things I’ve discussed before of the fact Lavi only got his apprentice place because of a secret only known by Senior, so that the CLAN itself can take rash decisions especially now where apparently there is “no Junior to inherit from Bookman” (so say Lavi is temporarly indisposed and the Clan seek to find another solution or apprentice to carry on the Bookman legacy, which would put Lavi in a delicate situation if he gets back.). 

The two things that could happen therefore are either, seeing Allen’s return as the return of the previous Apprentice and therefore trusting him with that knowledge (and if, like suspected, the Junior’s transfert happens with a ritual, put Allen in a very delicate situation) but i don’t think this one would happen bc Allen is a too important player of the History to be asked to be neutral. SO INSTEAD seeing him as a betrayer to the clan and try to undergo some rituals to protect their secrets.

This later can be supported with the fact apparently according to the latest Corner, the Clan has tools to erase memories. I could see that the Bookman secrets are such that they cannot afford someone walking around with them without being under the clans’s rules, thus it would make Allen a danger. Allen is doomed to influence history and i believe the clan knows that and cannot trust him with Bookman’s place anymore. 

With luck, there might be enough kinship to at least treat him well or with excitement, but there is a lot to fear about people who apparently believe numbing your emotions and not interferring with history is a valid way to go through history. And, by all account, Past!Allen didn’t follow through their neutrality policy by influencing history with letting Nea survive. 

Allen’s body would therefore hide Bookman’s secrets the clans wouldn’t want to be spread, and ESPECIALLY NOT if for exemple, Nea decide to peak at Allen’s memory. 

It’s suspected that the Bookman can for exemple resist some of the mindcontrole powers Wisely can use, thus why they had to use torture right? And even Road couldn’t access Allen’s dreamworld for some reasons in later chapters, which she mentions as odd (which would work with that theory). But if Nea takes over, what would happen of Allen’s protections? This is such a one-of-a-kind experience the Bookman Clan can consider that, once Nea take controle, Allen’s knowledge would pass down to Nea but not the protection, and if Wisely peak an eye at it, all of the Bookman’s secrets are doomed. Because Wisely will always remember all of them. 

SO PERSONALLY i think the Bookman would see Allen as a threat to their secrecy, from his betrayal to the “spy agent” that Nea is inside the Bookman’s body. 

So i personally think the Bookman Clan would be... careful and untrusting. Perhaps happy to see an old friend back, but their duty would pass before any affections, since this is the deal with the Bookman is it not?  Thus creating a very difficult situation.

BUT We also had some time with Joe and Lucia recently and, if they are part of the Clan, perhaps my reading is too pessimistc. Joe at least seems to expect Allen to come with answers and be a person they will have to support ? So against all odds perhaps the Bookman would see Allen’s new role and consider that it is too important to let their rules get in the way. 

2) is the tricky part. 

Without having to think about the Bookman’s duty, I think Lavi would be kinda stunned but overjoyed. There’s a lot of his life that he cannot get to share after all and Allen having gone through it might as well be something that could create more bound. Would Allen remember stuff from his past life also, i could definitly see them bound over Senior for exemple since they would have both been raised by him at different time of his life and possibly, he would have changed his raising ways for Lavi after what happened to Allen (after all Senior took about 10 years or so if i remember well to pick a new apprentice after the first one disappeared). 

there could be a lot of questioning about the Bookman’s morality and how it was enough for Allen to stop being neutral. I think this could also be a moment of growth for Lavi to see someone who had given up on that lifelong dream and whatare the consequences to pay now. 

For Allen I could see it be interesting as well to regain a part of himself and i could see those conversations very much help. 

I don’t specifically see Lavi being jealous for all that’s matter but i could see kinship.

The problem though is that I believe the duty of the Bookman would get in the way, and like i mentioned, the Clan would have a lot of reasons to at least want to temper with Allen. And this would cause a problem with Lavi there because there would be a confrontation over what the Clan needs vs what his friend needs. And as of it.. i don’t know, i think Lavi would be very conflicted by what’s going on and couldn’t process it well.

At best, there would be focus from the clan to let Allen fill his now destiny without giving in too much to the Bookman that could eventually hurt Lavi and Allen’s dynamic.

........ but hopefully the Clan isn’t that bad right? Hopefully i just read too much into it and it’s... not... going to be that bad..... 

With a little hope it will all be fine.... right? 

[words-writ-in-starlight]

so long and lost

We all knew I was going to end up here, we all knew it, every last goddamn one of us.  Takes place immediately after One Salt Sea, relevant spoilers about Selkies.

Looking at the Luidaeg was stranger than ever, in this disguise—Cousin Annie, she had called it, but there was more than that.  Toby had seen this youngest ‘Annie’ face plenty of times, but now the Luidaeg had layered it thick and heavy, until even the hair-raising sense of monster in the room was smothered under the level eyes and sad lips of her disguise.  It was normally impossible to stand beside the Luidaeg without feeling something, no matter how at ease Toby had gotten to be with her. Even Quentin admitted to it, when pressed—like standing at the edge of a sea-side cliff in stormy weather, acutely aware that you were close enough to touch something that had been old and powerful when humanity was still figuring out how to make bricks.

Now, Annie passed nearly invisible among the Selkie clan, and when Toby turned away to let the Luidaeg talk to someone passing nearby, she almost lost sight of her in the slow-milling crowd.

Toby passed near enough to hear a clutch of teenagers whispering enviously over the new Selkie, the newly passed skin, and her stomach rebelled so sharply that she had to stop in place and breathe.  Oberon bless the little boy that the Luidaeg was herding out of her path, because Toby thought she might die of the horror if she had to explain herself.

Those kids—and they were kids, the oldest of the group couldn’t be more than seventeen—were bickering over the flayed skins of the Luidaeg’s children.  Moaning over the idea like they had never craved anything else, like they couldn’t bear a moment more outside the sea, like the water called to them as strongly as any magical geas.

No wonder Connor had been so furious when he found out that she had gotten a skin destroyed.

The thought came unbidden, of Connor as one of these kids hoping for a Selkie skin, hit Toby in the chest, as clean and brutal as any bullet she’d ever taken.  She slipped out of the house while the Luidaeg’s back was turned and half-ran back to the car, and pulled her jacket so tightly around her that the leather creaked.  It didn’t smell like pennyroyal and musk anymore, just like cut grass—copper didn’t cling half so well.

Maybe she couldn’t smell the copper because she was too busy tasting bile.

Toby bent over, trying to take deep breaths of the salt-touched air, trying not to be sick.  Then, when she was sure she wasn’t about to throw up, she crouched down, settling down on her heels and pressing her head back against the cold metal of the car door, and listened to the distant sound of voices.

It was a long time before the Luidaeg sat down beside her—or maybe it wasn’t long at all, just a few minutes of breathing.  Toby didn’t know if she was trying to ignore the slow roll of nausea or the aching hole in her chest or both, and the Luidaeg didn’t say anything, sitting down on the cold asphalt with her legs crossed and her hair loose from its usual ties.

“How can you stand it?” Toby asked at last.

“I’ve stood a lot of things,” the Luidaeg said.  “Some of them for you.  I helped you kill my own brother.”

“Because I asked.”

“Because it had to be done.  So does this.”

“Careful,” Toby said to her hands.  “You might start to sound like me.”

The Luidaeg scoffed and shook back her hair, a careless movement as well suited to her mask of a wayward Roane as anything.  If Toby hadn’t known better, she would have expected to taste Roane on the air.  But the gaze that the Luidaeg turned on her was sharp and driftglass clear, very much herself.

“I condemned an entire race for the sins of their progenitors.  The least I can do is watch.”

Toby nodded, the brief moment of humor evaporating like mist under the Luidaeg’s eyes.  “Do they—know?”

“Yes,” the Luidaeg said.  “Firstborn live a very long time—longer than even purebloods can really grasp—and we can hold a grudge even longer.  It had been a generation since my children died, when their skins were brought back to me, but I was—angry.  I’m still angry.  I’m not sorry for the deal I made them, even though it was cruel.”

“And part of the deal was that they had to tell the truth.”

“Every new Selkie gets a skin and a story,” the Luidaeg said, eyes slipping away from Toby.  Toby lowered herself all the way onto the ground at last, feeling her jeans grow damp from the fog-kissed asphalt.  “They learn their history first.  They can take the skin or leave it, afterward.”

Toby pressed her lips together.  There was something in the Luidaeg’s voice that was too heavy, too tired for it to be so simple.  It was so hard to blame her for it.  “Like changelings can take or leave Faerie?”

“Just like that.”  The Luidaeg’s eyes drifted to the ocean, hidden by a low line of bushes and the long stretch of the beach, and for a moment it was so close that Toby imagined she could feel the pull of the tide on her bones, the water clutching at her and trying to drag her down away from the light.  The shiver that crawled down her spine was nearly a convulsion.  “They took my babies from me,” the Luidaeg said distantly, that sense of monster in the room coming back in a rush at the rasp of her voice, “when none of us had ever done them any harm, because they wanted the ocean so desperately. They were ready to trade innocent lives for what they craved, as long as those innocents were someone else’s children. They can look at their own children and do the same.  I might live with my grief for eternity, so they will, too.”

“That’s cruel.”

“Revenge often is, and I never claimed to be kind,” the Luidaeg replied, and Toby nodded.

It was hard to blame her for that cruelty, when Toby would have gladly murdered Rayseline and Oleander slowly, excruciatingly, for laying a hand on Gillian.

The salt air tasted bloody on Toby’s tongue, but the bile was gone, and she would take the exchange.  She sat and breathed slowly while the Luidaeg sat beside her, quiet, eyes on the invisible waterline and head tipped slightly as if to listen to the voices there. Toby wondered if she ever pretended to be listening to the Roane instead of the Selkies, or if that kind of dream was too painful to consider.

Finally, Toby cleared her throat and said, “I—a while back, a couple years, in Tamed Lightning, a Selkie died.  Colin Byrne.  His skin—my car caught fire, and his skin burned.”

“Yes,” the Luidaeg said.  “I know.”

“I didn’t mean to lose it,” Toby said.  “Con—Connor was furious with me, but Quentin—I couldn’t think about anything else.  I just grabbed Quentin and tried to get away.”

“Why are you telling me this?”  Toby stopped short at the question, and the Luidaeg slanted a narrow, dark-eyed look at her, eyes all black from edge to edge.  Whatever Toby had been about to say vanished, caught in the sea-witch’s regard like she hadn’t been in years.  “Do you want my permission, late in the game as it may be, to have saved your boy at the cost of mine?”

“I—no,” Toby said, taken aback.  “I just—I thought you should know.  That I wanted to bring it back.  I didn’t know you had anything to do with the Selkies, but…”  She held up a hand, helpless.  “It should have come back.  I should have done more to save it.  I’m just sorry, I guess.”

The Luidaeg laughed, and Toby tried not to look too obviously like the sound made some instinctive part of her brain sit up and say run.  She was probably doing a bad job, from the way that the Luidaeg glanced at her.

“Of course that’s what you have to say,” the Luidaeg muttered, shaking her head.  “Of course. My father’s children are so predictable.”  Toby didn’t say anything, holding very still and feeling not unlike a mouse under the eye of a cat.  The Luidaeg was quiet for another moment, and when she spoke, her voice was softer than Toby had ever heard it.  

“I know every Selkie clan in the world, and whose skin they wear.  The Byrne family wore the skin of one of my sons. His name was Caoimhin—it meant gentle.  He was the sweetest boy.  He doted on his younger siblings, and he liked to stay near the beach in case any children fell into the water, so that he could pull them back to shore.”  The Luidaeg’s eyes were dry, and the ocean felt nearer than ever, the smell of salt so close that Toby had to touch a shaking hand to her face to be sure that there was no water there.

I shouldn’t be hearing this, Toby thought numbly.  This was precious information, nothing that could possibly be free.  Just listening was probably against some deeper law of Faerie—there were people who would think that a changeling should be executed for the crime of merely being in the vicinity while a Firstborn told her secrets.

The Luidaeg’s gaze came back to Toby, still black from edge to edge, but the darkness was soft and wet, like the eyes of a seal.

“He would have let you leave him behind, even if he had been alive, to save your boy,” the Luidaeg said, sad and smiling and terribly sure.  “I can take my revenge and do my little cruelties and call in my greatest debts, but I can’t seem to hold that against you.”

“Why?” Toby asked before she could stop herself.  In for a penny, in for a pound.

The Luidaeg actually laughed at that.  The sound made Toby’s chest hurt again.  “I don’t have to explain myself to you, October Daye.  If you think about it, I’m sure you’ll get there eventually.  Come on, hero,” she said, rising to her feet, and she held out a hand to help Toby up. “You need to get home to your family.”

[raendown]

@letliv3 chapter 4!

Pairing: none Word count: 3035 Summary: A coup hidden in the shadows for decades, a scroll with a seal he didn't mean to activate; Naruto finds himself whisked away from Konoha to a destination unknown and meets a little girl who appears to be - his mom?

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

Chapter 4

Shizuko found him an hour later, still plastered to Kushina’s side. The Uzukage came to find him herself rather than sending someone to fetch him, which was rather surprising, and her face was more serious than its usual pinched expression. Naruto followed her back to her surprisingly spacious office, built in to the same rocky knoll from which she addressed the public whenever necessary. Kushina trotted at his heels with a smug smile for being included.

Once they were all tucked away in the office, however, it was obvious that she became bored rather quickly as the two adults immediately began to speak about ‘boring adult stuff’. They talked about casualties and village defenses, property damage and body disposal, funeral costs and the implications of war. All very important things but nothing that seemed cool or fun to a child who didn’t yet understand their true weight.

Until he was allowed to fall back in to it, Naruto hadn’t realized how much he missed his role as Hokage. After spending his entire life chasing the dream it had felt so good to finally achieve his goal. Then before he could blink he was here in the past and there had been too many things to adjust to for him to spare a thought for the responsibilities that came with running a village. It felt good to speak with Shizuko as one Kage to another; it felt like getting back to who he knew he was supposed to be. He couldn’t say he had slacked off in his efforts to find his way back home but Naruto had to admit that the longer he spent in Uzushio, the more reluctant he was to leave.

Just as it seemed Kushina was about to fall asleep in her chair, Shizuko finally got around to the point she had actually brought him here to talk about.

“Uzushio owes you a great debt. When you first arrived here you spoke of the destruction of our village; without your presence with us today those events would surely have come to pass yet again. However, this creates a new problem.”

“Huh?” Naruto scratched at his head. “What new problem?”

“I’m aware of how uneducated you are about the nature of fūinjutsu, let alone time travel and it’s wide ranging effects on the continuum, so I will keep this as simple as possible.”

“Good ‘cause you’re already losing me here.”

Shizuko gaze him a withering stare before continuing. “By stopping the destruction of our village you have impacted the events of your own history in a rather exceptional manner. It is imperative that we send you back to your own time as quickly as possible to avoid any further changes. We have no way of knowing whether the impact of your influence will be positive or negative. You must go, and soon.”

Her words were like sharp pins callously popping the bubble he had allowed himself to sink in to over the past month. Of course he knew that he had to go home. When he left his entire home had been in danger, the lives of everyone he loved at risk, but over the past few weeks he hadn’t allowed the panic to get to him because he figured he could traipse back through the ‘time channels’ whenever he wanted and be right back where he started. It hadn’t occurred to him that it would ever matter how long he stayed or even why. As much as he knew he had to go-

Looking to the side, Naruto met Kushina’s curious eyes. He didn’t want to go. In his own time he had a wife and children and an entire village of people to take care of. But here, in the past, he had a mother.

“So, what then?” he asked eventually, dragging his eyes away from the redhead beside him to look at the one across instead. “We step up the training or something?”

“Actually, I’ve thought of a faster way but it will take time for the woman I have contacted to arrive here. You have one week to wrap up any business you have entangled yourself in here. If everything goes as planned you shall be gone seven days from now.”

“Seven days!?” Naruto’s jaw nearly unhinged it dropped so fast. “How am I supposed to learn how to use high-level sealing techniques in seven days!? Who did you contact, some super awesome master sage?”

Shizuko sniffed and waved him towards the door, a clear dismissal. “Of course not. I called upon an old friend of mine from another clan. Don’t fret too much about it.”

“You don’t really have any good reason for not telling me do you? I’m not a child whether I’ve gone through your rite of whatever or not and you told me everything else. You’re just being stingy now, aren’t you?” Naruto narrowed his eyes as her, grinning a little as he felt Kushina giggle in to his side. Shizuko huffed and turned up her nose and that was all the answer he needed to that.

Then a new thought occurred to him which hadn’t before and Naruto leaned forward, both hands planted on the Uzukage’s desk.

“Hey! If I changed the past then that means when I go back to the future then I’ll still have my mom right? Yeah! Yeah! Because I saved Uzushio and made everything different! Right?”

“Wrong.” One sharply spoken word from her froze him in place. “I’ve already told you: you understand nothing about the time channels or what it means to use them. What you did when you changed a major event was create an entirely separate timeline and when you return to when you came from you will be returning to your original timeline. Nothing will have changed in your world, just as we shall never know what would have been different in ours.”

“Oh.”

Naruto sank back down in to his chair feeling as though his entire body had been submerged in ice cold water, dreams he’d only just conceived of already swirling down the drain before he’d even had a chance to really reach for them. White noise filled his thoughts until all he was left with was a sense of loss and longing he thought he’d put behind him many years ago.

Small fingers slipped in to his own and he looked up to find Kushina staring back at him, more understanding in those eyes than any six year old should be capable of. No one so young should be able to look up at him with such sadness. He half thought she should be throwing a tantrum, screaming and crying about how unfair it all was. Or maybe that was just what he wanted to do despite knowing he was just a little too old for such antics.

But it was all so unfair! He’d fallen through time and fixed something bad! Shouldn’t he get some kind of reward for it all?

Leaning forward to bow his head down low, Naruto clutched at a fistful of hair with his free hand and gave himself a few moments to just breathe through it all. He wished he could think of a way to put his feelings in to words but they were just so jumbled up inside his chest that it all became one big ball of confusion he had no idea how to sort through.

“Damn,” was all he came up with eventually. “I don’t know what to say. Shikamaru would though. My friend, he’s a Nara and he’s really smart. He’d say something really brainy like…’all we are is dust in the wind’. I remember him saying that once.”

“What does it mean?” Kushina tugged on his fingers and gave him that look she always gave him when she thought he’d said something stupid. It brought a smile to his face for a moment as he admitted his own folly.

“I don’t know but it sounded cool when he said it.”

“It means,” Shizuko spoke up again at last, “that no matter what we do, nothing ever really matters. That our dreams and passions are as meaningless as the dust that floats upon the wind. You may chase after them as long as you like and in the end you will have accomplished nothing.” Naruto shuddered at the chill in her words, wondering if the Uzukage had ever had her own dreams shattered to speak so coldly.

“That’s stupid!”

Both of the adults startled and looked over to find Kushina rolling her eyes, taking back her hand so she could prop both of them on her hips with all the tiny irritation a kid her age could muster.

“You didn’t do nothing! You saved the whole village! Your mom – me – I’m already gone where you come from so you don’t lose anything. Isn’t it good that this me from now gets to live? You did something! So whatever to your stupid dust thing. If dust on the wind means it’s pointless then…then…then we burn the dust!”

“Uh…burn it?” Naruto asked. Kushina flushed a little.

“I don’t know. I thought it would sound cooler.”

He stared at her for a long moment before bursting in to unrestrained laughter, truly not having expected any of that. Suddenly he had a lot more respect for Kakashi-sensei and all that poor man had to deal with when Team 7 were young little sprites feeding him exactly that same kind of nonsense. Yet he couldn’t deny that he felt oddly uplifted after her ridiculous little speech. She barely even knew what she was talking about, all she had to keep her going was a will to fight and the refusal to take a hit lying down, and Naruto wondered when he would stop being amazed at how much of himself he saw in her.

She was definitely right about one thing though. He had gotten some amazing gifts out of this experience, memories he would keep with him for the rest of his days. Even if nothing changed when he returned home nothing could ever take these moments away from him when he had laughed with his mother, cried with his mother, held her in his arms and loved her almost more than his heart knew how to.

“Alright.” Rubbing his right side as the laughter faded, Naruto threw his other arm over Kushina’s shoulders and pulled her in close. “We burn the dust,” he declared. “Whatever that means!”

Kushina laughed and leaned in to him and really that was all he could ask for.

-

Later, once they’d finally vacated Shizuko’s office as they’d been asked to and squirreled themselves away in one of the small coves ringing the island’s edges, she asked him a question he’d been waiting for – and dreading – since the day that he arrived here. She asked him about how she died.

Digging his toes in to the sand, Naruto tilted his head back to stare at the stars just starting to come out above them. Peeking out the corner of his eye, he could see Kushina watching him with her thumbnail caught between her teeth and her long hair pulled in all sorts of directions by the wind. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before answering. Strange, how so many pains from so long ago kept opening after he thought they had already healed over.

Over the past month he had gone back and forth between so many different plans on how he was going to answer this question when she asked him but after the meeting in Shizuko’s office he had finally come to a solid decision. Even if it changed the course of events, even if he wasn’t supposed to, there was no way he could send his mother to her death a second time without any sort of warning. And that was supposing she even went to Konoha at all now that her home hadn’t been demolished, leaving her with nowhere to go. Hopefully the truth wouldn’t keep her away. Naruto couldn’t imagine a world in which his mom and dad didn’t get married; they belonged together!

“When Uzushio was destroyed,” he began in a steady voice, “you came to live in Konoha and after a few years you became the new jinchūriki of the nine-tailed fox, the one I have inside me right now. You married my dad and eventually you guys got pregnant with me. Only, it’s dangerous for a jinchūriki to get pregnant and there was someone that wanted to hurt my dad and the village.”

“But who?”

“Are you sure you want me to go in to everything? It gets kind of complicated.”

“Everything, Naruto-kun.”

She gave him a decisive nod and Naruto nodded slowly. Then he backed up and began with a story he had first heard from a woman with bright red hair who had helped him take the first steps towards taming the beast inside his belly. It was heavy stuff to put on someone so young, heavy enough that he was sure it would have scarred a civilian child of double her age for life. Kushina, however, was descended from shinobi and already begun her training to follow in those same footsteps, had snuck away from safety to witness a battle just that afternoon. As much as he wanted her to be able to enjoy her childhood for as long as she could it was sort of impossible for the children of warriors to enjoy the same innocence that the children of civilians did.

Things in the time she lived in were different from where he was from. In the Konoha Naruto presided over there were already many changes to the shinobi system that he’d begun to challenge. As he went through the complicated events leading up to his own mother’s death, a terribly laundry list of one system failure after another, example after example of the way that shinobi were raised only to be broken, Naruto could feel a fire rekindling in his gut which hadn’t burned so brightly since the day he put on his very first shinobi headband.

At the end of his tale Kushina remained silent, hugging her knees to her chest and watching the tumultuous waves crashing against the rocks below without really appearing the see them. Instead her eyes seemed distant, almost as though if she looked hard enough she could see in to her own future and witness the events of which she’d been told.

Rather than sit there in silence and let her work through her thoughts – although he knew that would probably have been the nicer thing to do – Naruto dealt with the awkward silence the same way he always had. He talked. With no clear theme in mind he yammered on about whatever came to mind first until he found himself stuck on the topic of his father. Naruto didn’t know anywhere near as much as he would have liked to about either of his parents but he knew enough to describe what he looked like and what kind of good man he was, how willingly he sacrificed himself for the good of the village. He talked about how strong Namikaze Minato was and how much the man had loved his wife and everyone around him.

“Stop.” Naruto’s jaw snapped shut at one quiet word from Kushina. He peeked at her a second time and found her sniffling but with a very small, wistful kind of smile. “He sounds really nice, so you can stop selling him now.”

“He’s not a horse,” Naruto chuckled weakly.

“Did he really love me? You promise?”

“More than anything in the whole world.” Reaching over, he chucked Kushina under the chin. “Except me of course. I’m pretty awesome, you know?”

Her smile widened and she smothered a giggle in her knees before scrambling to her feet and making her way to the edge of their little cove. When her bare toes stood just out of reach of the tumbling waves, she balled her fists and shook one of them at the sky as she hurled her surprisingly loud voice up towards the stars.

“I’m gonna marry Namikaze Minato and he’s gonna love me, dattebane!”

Naruto almost fell over backwards, unsure if he was shocked or amused.

“What are you doing?” he called over to her. When she spun around to look at him she was wearing such a look of determination he thought for a moment he’d seen a ghost, a woman grown standing on the rocks and weary from battle. Then he blinked and she was only a little girl again.

“I’m telling the universe what’s gonna happen. And the universe is gonna listen! You’ve gotta put it out there, ‘ttebane!”

“Well if that’s what we’re supposed to be doing.” Springing to his feet, he hopped down to stand beside her and cupped both hands around his mouth, raising his voice to scream up in to the night. “I’m gonna be the best Hokage EVER!”

“Hey! We’re supposed to be telling the universe to do good things for me!” Kushina reached over to shove his hip, probably hoping to knock him over sideways although she didn’t manage to so much as budge his stance.

Naruto chuckled and ruffled her hair.

“Alright then. Only good things for you.”

Her self-satisfied grin was so smug he very nearly lost his composure but he managed to keep it together long enough for her to spin back to the water and shriek her dreams out across the ocean. Then his mirth tapered off in to a fond, gentle smile.

It might have sounded like a placating sentence to her but Naruto had meant those words more than any he had ever spoken in his entire life. They were his one true wish for her and for her future, the one dream he hoped the universe would hear from him. Because as much as he loved her simply because she was his mother, Naruto was certain that no one could spend a month at this little girl’s side and not learn to love her just for herself.

And he wanted only good things for her always.

[everythingducktales]

Worlds Away Ch. 1 — Secrets & Stars

[Della’s disappearance affects everyone, in one way or another]

The first two chapters are basically here to introduce the main plot of the story. Admittedly, all the chapters I’ve finished so far have been rewritten over five times each. I finally worked up the courage to post the first chapter though! Woo-oo! I hope you enjoy!

A lot of mentions about what Webby and Dewey discovered in The Great Dime Chase.

You can also find this story here and here. Would mean the world to me if you’d leave a review.

When Dewey Duck, the Dewey Duck, one of three nephews to Scrooge McDuck and Donald Duck, not to mention one of her best friends, snuck into her room to search through her things, Webby was curious to say the least.

She trusted her new best friends more than any others in the world already. However, even that considered, when one of them sneaks into her room to look through her tippy top secret files without so much as an invite, Webby knew something was wrong and that it was going to be an interesting day.

Her curiosity peaked even higher when she found out the reasoning for Dewey’s not-so-secret search. (Honestly, if he wanted it to be a secret, he could have, at the very least, checked above him! Always check above.) Dewey wanted to know more about his mom. And despite the general weirdness surrounding Della’s disappearance, Webby realized it was normal that Dewey craved knowledge about the woman who hatched him once upon a time. Even though she had moved on from her own birth history to focus on studying the Duck McDuck clan, sometimes, late at night Webby couldn’t help but to ponder what happened to her own parents.

It was different for them though. Webby’s mom died young, she knew that part of the story. And somewhere up high in heaven, her moms still looking down on her because she had truly loved her and, like granny always says, still loves her now. And Webby would forever have that peace and love despite the circumstances, not only from her mother guardian angel but from Beakley and her new friends too.

Dewey’s mom was just gone. They didn’t know if she was dead, barley clinging to life, missing or just bailed. Beakley wouldn’t tell Webby the details, but Webby knew without a doubt something really bad had happened to Della Duck. Without that knowledge, the question of what if probably snuck into Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s minds all the time. With little information about what had happened to her, of course one of them would come to the duck family’s mega super fan for answers.

Like she said, it was all normal enough.

What wasn’t normal was the secret room in the archives dedicated to Della’s memory. Clues and treasures decorated the entire area with a star lit ceiling to top that masterpiece off.

And oh sweet duck clan, when they had gotten access into that room, man, Webby had taken pictures of everything. Statues, photographs, letters, exotic pieces from adventures traveled long ago. She needed to know all that she could. Questions were being answered and she had a Della Duck file that needed filling!

“I gotta show Huey and Louie.” Dewey had declared the minute they set foot inside. Webby nodded in silent agreement, all while snapping as many photos her camera could handle. Huey and Louie were gonna freak, but in the best way of course. This was probably like a dream come true for them, just knowing something about their mom’s life. She couldn’t imagine what Dewey was feeling!~

But then.. Dewey saw the note and Webby said the wrong thing, and so two minutes after announcing how badly the room needed to be shown, he had decided the whole had to be kept a secret between the pair.

Webby had never been good at keeping secrets. When she was five years old, Launchpad ate a tray of her grandmother’s freshly baked chocolate chip cookies (one of Mr. McDuck’s favorite smells! She discovered today), and so the second Beakley returned home, Webby screamed and hollered and tattled all while pointing in the pilot’s direction as though her grandmother was blind to the cookie crumbs on his beak.

For a while after that, Launchpad nicknamed her the “cookie snitcher.” It was a name that started off driving her crazy every time she heard it, but became an inside joke between the pair as she grew. “There’s the Cookie Snitcher.” “There’s the Cookie Eater!”

Webby had never been good at keeping secrets, but she’d try. For Dewey.

And even though that letter.. that dang letter… had been the most mysterious thing she had ever read in her eleven years of living, something just begging to be furthered explored and analyzed with all three of her best friends, she’d wait to tell the others. She’d wait for Dewey to give her the okay, we can tell them confirmation, which would come right after the two solved the mystery solo.

Webby used to solve a lot of mysteries by herself. Mr. McDuck claimed he was done adventuring after Della disappeared and Beakley, as tough as she was, cared more about Webby’s safety than a desire to see the world, and so Webby had no choice but to solve mysteries herself.

They weren’t the same kind of mystery’s she’d solve nowadays though. Why did Glomgold Flintheart hate Scrooge McDuck so much? How far does the McDuck family go back? Why does Beakley want her to learn martial arts? Or why can’t she go to school and make friends like a normal kid?

She never did solve those last two.

And as tough as it was, as terrible as it was, to go from their big, happy group of adventurers to just Dewey and Webby for this case, she sucked it up. And she wouldn’t bring up telling the others until Dewey was ready. Until Dewey told her he was ready.

“Any luck?” The voice of a young duck, dressed in long loose fitting blue pajamas made his presence known behind her. (She didn’t have to look to know what he was wearing. Months of movie nights had proved the triplets rarely ever switched up their night clothes.)

“Nada.” Pencil placed loosely in her hair, for no real purpose other than just needing something else to do, Webby flipped through the camera’s images again. Even though Dewey rarely acknowledged the note they read, she was grateful he was alright with letting her keep the photos. All the photos.

“Seriously? There’s nothing we missed?” Dewey sat beside her now. Eyes probably skimming the notes she had written, he tapped her shoulder.

If there was, I’m sure one of us would have noticed after the 50th check. Webby almost wanted to tell him. She would never do that though, so, instead, Webby scooted over towards him and pushed the papers even closer. “Sorry, Dewey…”

“Its okay, Webs. You and I just have to keep looking.”

Webby sighed, but the action made her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t want Dewey to think she was annoyed with him (he was one of her best friends and she loved being able to help out!) However, even that considered… months of struggling over the same mystery with no new clues emerging and very few visits to the archives didn’t look exactly promising. Webby was getting tired. But she knew it was important, so she’d push through.

Scrooge never talked about Della. The most she heard from him was muttered curses over some junk mail with the MIA duck’s name on it. Other than that little slip up, Della’s name had seemed permanently removed from his vocabulary. (Well… Webby had thought that until she saw the room.)

Webby wondered if Donald Duck grieved that way, too.

He probably didn’t. After all, Mr. Duck didn’t have as much alone time like Scrooge did. But regardless, Webby had never quite gotten the impression he had moved on. Heck, Scrooge hadn’t either, but the old duck’s newly rediscovered love of adventure overtook that pain right now. With Donald, you could see how sad he was in the dark of the night when no one else was looking. How he clung to the triplets for a few seconds longer than most would during goodnight hugs; how he worried over their safety constantly; how even though ten years had passed and he still couldn’t be alone with Scrooge..

No, Donald Duck grieved differently. He had to mask it better for the sake of the triplets, but it was still there.

“Webby?” Dewey’s calm and curious voice yanked her away from muddled thoughts, and within five seconds, Webbigail’s head jerked up. “Thought you were nodding off there.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s no problem. Let’s just keep looking.”

And so they did. Because no matter what she thought best, she wouldn’t tell anyone until Dewey was ready. She’d do anything for her best friends, even if it meant keeping secrets from two of them.

[bellamyblake]

Bellarke+their story being a legend:

Kara Green is the first one to find something that was actually touched by Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin; she’s fifth generation Green, her great-great-great oh hell...whichever great it is grandpa was one of the original hundred who were sent to the ground; she doesn’t know too much about him, about any of them, and that frustrates her to no end because if there was something she thoroughly enjoyed, it was history;

so when she accidentally finds a book of drawings in a very old unused bunker, she’s fascinated; they are not only beautiful, they tell a story through pictures; she could see kids coming out of something that looked like a dropship; she saw a beautiful girl with a knee brace making bombs and a boy with googles helping her; she found someone who must’ve been her grandpa Monty drinking with the same googly boy, she saw a girl with war paint on her eyes and another one with a sword next to a big guy with tattooes; there were many of a freckly boy with curly hair and a rifle hanging from his shoulder as well as a girl with golden hair standing right next to him; and many many more like that, telling different stories about people that no longer were;

what she knew about Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake was more or less the fairy tale her father told her before bed; they were the leaders of the hundred, they fought together, led together, raged wars, destroyed bad guys,survived a second apocalypse and eventually, many years after that, established a new camp for the remaining delinquents and got married, thus starting a big family (they had seven kids, six of them girls and the youngest one, a boy);

but beyond that, there weren’t any actual records that explained their actions or what kind of leaders and people they were; there was nothing; which for Kara, was a total shame-this was the story of their people and even if they all have been living as a Wonkru for generations now, it still mattered to her; 

so she decided to take the matters into her own hands and find any remaining Griffin-Blake heirs and talk to them about it; they must’ve kept their family history better, they must know the story of their ancestors;

however, despite the fact that they Clarke and Bellamy had many kids, it turned out that finding some of them wouldn’t be as easy as she thought; four out of their seven kids died quite young, one by illness, two in war (it seemed the Griffin-Blakes were excellent leaders and warriors) and one at childbirth and most of them had married into different clans all throughout the Wonkru territory; she managed to find some great-great-oh hell...grandkids, but most of them had assimilated a different culture, some were even hostile to her and told her to go away, because she realized...they were still afraid and wanted to keep their heritage a secret; the legend of the skypeople still terrified some clans and they believed a person from that group brought bad luck;

however, she doesn’t give up; she finds evidence of a gandson of Clarke and Bellamy’s only son Augustus and decides to travel further East, though she couldn’t be sure he’s even alive; life in the East parts was harder, there wasn’t as much game or food and even if he should be in his late twenties maybe even thirties, he still might not be alive;

after two weeks of roaming the woods, she passes out near a river after exhausting all her provisions and barely getting any decent sleep; she thinks how stupid she’s been to come here chasing ghosts, that man is probably not even alive and even if he was, he could be in a completely different place; her last thoughts before she passes out is that she’ll be eaten by the wolves and that she’ll break her poor grandma Hannah’s heart;

however, she wakes up in a cave, a fire burning up next to her and a big man who makes her scream out in fear, skinning a squirrel;

“Easy...” he says, his voice is deep and calming “I’m not going to hurt you!” when the fire lights up his face, she gasps for it looks exactly like the face of Bellamy Blake in the sketchbook she has in her bag “I found you!” she exclaims as she sits up “I can’t believe I found you!”;

he seems taken aback before she explains who she is and what she’s even doing here; he is tense at first, seemingly scared (maybe he led a lonely life?) but after a while, when he realizes she’s just a twenty year old kid in search of ghosts and legends, he relaxes;

his name is Noah Griffin-Blake; his father-Jake Griffin-Blake was the son of Eden Griffin-Blake, who was the only surviving child of Augustus Griffin-Blake, the son of Clarke and Bellamy; so yeah, he is the real deal; moreover, if his looks are any indication, he definitely wasn’t lying to her;

he takes her to his cabin, which is huddled between the mountains; he lived on his own, had a beautiful mare, some goats and chickens as well as some land with stuff he grew himself; he was a loner, always has been; can’t stand the few big cities that were currently thriving throughout Wonkru territory, instead he preferred hunting and trading with the tribes in the nearest village; 

he’s quite beautiful, Kara notices; and he does make inappropriate shitty comments but it seems his heart is big; he loves his dog which looks more like a wolf than an actual puppy to her and he proudly explains that Bellamy started breeding them and there were barely 10 such dogs throughout the country; 

“I need the story” she says after showing him the sketchbook “Do you know it?” he smiles and stands up, bringing a heavy book with black leather covers and putting it down in front of her “But of course I know it”; 

it turns out he has a bigger, more detailed sketchbook as well as a few stories written by none else but Bellamy Blake himself (he had a pretty funny handwriting, all block letters); Noah talks, tells her everything and it’s nothing like the story her dad used to tell her before bed;

for the first time, she sees Bellamy and Clarke not as fictional characters, but rather as people...people who had their flaws and their talents, people who led and made mistakes quite often but also fought to death to save their friends; she finds out they destroyed Mount Weather by killing everyone in it and that Clarke left him after that; she finds out Bellamy often acted out with his heart instead his head and thus made sometimes irrational decisions; their hands were bloody more often than not, but one thing was for sure-their hearts beat for their friends; 

Noah shows her who Monty, her great grandpa is and how he lost his friend Jasper, the boy with the googles, which is a sad story on it’s own; he tells her Monty fell in love with a girl called Harper, she died a year after giving birth to their only child though and then he lived the rest of his life with a man called Miller, who was her other great-grandfather and who she had no idea existed; he was Bellamy’s best friend and the best man on their wedding; 

she finds out about Raven Reyes, the girl with the brace and that she died without leaving kids behind but that she did have a lover, a girl, as far as Noah knows, it was a grounder but he wasn’t sure of the name; she hears all the stories of the hundred and their parents and the way they lived on the Ark and then back down on earth; what breaks her heart most is the stuff Bellamy and Clarke went through, how they were always so damn fucked up by circumstances, some of the stuff they did seemed so impossible now, she can’t imagine the situations they were put in and how they had to make choices; Noah laughs that it took them years to admit they loved each other and it was a running joke in his family that the Griffin-Blake boys just sucked at flirting and getting over themselves when it came to admitting their feelings; “Do you know he used to call her princess? It pissed her off to no end.”/”And is this really him as well?” Kara asks as she points out a sketch of Bellamy with beard and longer hair ”Yes, that’s after he came back to earth. Dad used to say when the Griffin-Blake men were away from their loved ones they grew depression beard”;

they talk and talk and talk and he tells her all about them, but also about his family; he says he doesn’t have any siblings but his father had sisters and they had kids; he hasn’t seen them in years, though, they were living all across the country;  his mother died young and his dad raised him but had a weak heart and left him a few years ago; 

“Do you know how Bellamy and Clarke died?” Kara asks on her third glass of moonshine; he smiles “Like they did everything else of course” she raises her eyebrow “Together. By the end Clarke got sick, they weren’t really sure what exactly was wrong with it but my dad claimed it’s probably something like cancer due to all the radiation she was exposed to. Bellamy remained by her side, refusing to leave her for more than five minutes at a time; staying in bed with her, holding her in his arms and telling her story after story. He was an amazing storyteller.” she nods, she knew that “Anyway, no one really knows what happened with him but they were both found dead in bed early one morning by your grandpa Monty actually. The more romantic people say he died because he refused to live even a minute on earth without her.” Noah shrugs “My dad said his father Eden, told him he probably had a heart attack. His heart grew weaker with the years, because he gave so much of it away, he used to say. I think they just led really stressful lives and with time Bellamy must’ve developed a condition. He was forced to become a father at the age of six, so how his heart took all that and everything after, is a miracle for me.” he adds his own thoughts while she puts down his words in her notebook “It’s a genetic disease, apparently, it goes down on Bellamy’s kids, since my father had a weak heart too, his dad didn’t, but one of his sisters died early in her thirties and her granddad too before that so...” he shrugs and she swallows hard, pushing away the thought of Noah maybe being sick too like that; 

she stays a few more days and they talk almost all the time; she tries to put down everything he says and Noah feels his heart lighter around her; a terrible storm, keeps her there for another week and she has to delay her departure; then when the sky is clear, she finds him working on his farm early one morning and realizes he could definitely use the help and even though she hasn’t worked outside ever in her life and is probably more trouble than help, she stays yet another week; then it is him, coming back from a hunting trip with an arrow through his shoulder and her almost having a heart attack at the sight of bloody him;

a month later she’s still there and she has no intentions of leaving; 

they marry in a year and have their first kid, a daughter nine months later; even though she argues with Noah, who claims they’ll have a bunch of girls before they get a boy like it is in his family, he turns out to be right; of course he is, and ten years later they are granted a son, the seventh kid in their family, a small boy with dark curly hair and a myriad of freckles spread all over his face and back; 

and she’s at peace, for she knows that she was wrong when she thought their history was gone, the legend of Bellamy and Clarke will live for centuries after she’s no longer on earth and the evidence was the crying kid in her hands and Noah’s lips on her forehead; 

[cedarmoons]

Director's Cut Meme: that scene in beloved where Solas totally draws her like a French (Orlesian???) Girl

AAAHH!! was hoping someone would pick this scene, even if you didn’t specify some 500 words. ;) 

SO. “French Girls” (as I so lovingly nicknamed that scene) was the #1 reason I wanted to write this fic. I was inspired by the knowledge that a Dalish clan is supposed to kill their Keeper if the Keeper becomes possessed (the doc name is still “Keeper Hunt”, even though that plot point didn’t end up happening) - but the image of Solas drawing Ariala’s naked back is what made beloved a 52,000+ smol book, rather than a 500-word drabble that would forever be confined to my “DRABBLES” doc.

I knew beloved was going to be a fic, while ultimately focused on Ariala, that would also include Solavellan reconciliation of some kind. But how? What would start them on that path to reconciliation? Solas is stubborn, Ariala doesn’t like to talk about her problems, it’s a giant recipe for disaster. How would I get the kids to Behave™?

The answer… was French Girls.

With that said, let’s get started! Also, listen to this on repeat, because that’s what I did while writing it. I will try to do it justice, since it’s my favorite scene in the entire fic. This is a long ass post, even though I decided to just do the first half of french girls. :)

“You’re awake,” he says, blinking again before sitting up. “You’ve been resting the whole day.” His brow furrows, mouth opening, then closing. “How are you feeling?”

Ariala wraps the blanket tighter around herself. “Fine,” she lies.

So when Solas says “You’ve been resting all day,” he means “I’ve been coming in to check on you since the vigil and you have literally been asleep all day, I’m worried about you.” Deshanna’s death is a really low point for Ariala, to the extent that it actually triggers depression. I’m modeling her depression on my own - i.e., she’s not sad so much as uninterested or uncaring about basic life things, such as getting out of bed or bathing, she becomes emotionally disconnected from things (the scientific term is “she’s empty inside”) and she sleeps a heckin’ lot.

I’ve been hinting at her depression for a while, both in chapter three and the other chapters, but it hasn’t kept her from fulfilling basic tasks like this bout will. The most explicit reference is after she’s bathed in chapter three, when she says:

The cold water is bracing against her skin, enough to drive the tiredness from her eyes, but not enough to expunge the heaviness from her limbs. When she moves, she feels as if she is wearing plate armor, not a simple tunic and leathers.

All she wants to do is sleep.

Solas knows that she’s depressed, he knows she’s the opposite of fine, but he has no idea how to help or try to stop it. And it turns out, neither will anyone else at Skyhold except two people, which will be covered in chapter 4 when I post it in ten a few years. Fun stuff!

His expression falls, as if he can sense her lie, but he swallows and nods anyway.

Ariala’s a bad liar, lol, but Solas doesn’t have the heart to try and push the issue. I mean, he just held the love of his life while she wept for her grandmother, he knows she’s not fine, but some part of him is thinking “it’s not my place.” So, he can’t really do anything but observe, and help when/if she asks. 

Basically, this is him internally:

He wants to reach for her, he wants to comfort her, but ultimately he holds himself back, and keeps himself distant.

He glances down at the bed he sits on, pushing back a corner of a skewed blanket, revealing his sketchbook and a leather drawing kit. When he opens the kit’s flap, several sharpened sticks of charcoal glint in the light. A muscle twinges in Solas’s jaw as he looks up. “I am ready to draw the vallaslin when you are,” he tells her.

She exhales. “Thank you,” she says. He nods, but his gaze slides away, over the warm red tones of the aravel interior. Ariala shifts forward, moving until her legs dangle over the edge of the bed. Solas gets himself comfortable, opening his journal and setting out his tools. Ariala watches as he takes a small knife and begins to sharpen a stick of charcoal.

“What do you want to draw first?” she asks.

“Your preference,” he says, not looking at her.

He still really, truly hates the idea of drawing her vallaslin, because her intention is to give it to other clans so that they can copy the pattern, thus potentially allowing for more elves to be marked with vallaslin, which is the last thing he wants, no matter what he told her in Crestwood.

I think Solas understands why Ariala chose to keep the vallaslin; but I also think that as time goes on he still cannot help but wish she’d chosen to discard her vallaslin. He might’ve told her that she’s perfect exactly as she is, but he can’t let go of what they meant in Arlathan. That’s just how Solas is: he understands other people’s points, but his mind is rarely changed. He is very set in his ways, which is why Ariala gets so frustrated with him sometimes.

At some point, actually, I had him arguing with Deshanna about the Dalish (something he does not really do in the fic), and Ariala gets mad at him. Here’s the deleted scene, set during a vigil, after Deshanna discusses Ellowen, a member of the clan, and Sarah, her human love in Wycome:

“I am surprised a Dalish elf could bring themselves to love a human,” Solas says, his nose wrinkling slightly.

“Why?” Deshanna asks.

He is not expecting her question. “Ah. Well, it seems only natural for elves to desire other elves. And one would think the Dalish to be protective of that custom most of all, considering their poor history with humans.”

“Solas,” Ariala says, sharply.

“Why would we blame an innocent girl for the actions of people half a continent away and a hundred hundred years dead?” Deshanna asks, her tone just as caustic.

“Because of the shape of her ears, perhaps,” Solas replies, mouth twitching. “Your people certainly have no qualms doing the same thing to city elves. Tell me, Keeper, would you have been equally supportive if Sarah had been a flat-ear?”

“Solas!” she snaps.

Every time. Every single time she thinks they’d moved past this, he shows that he is still stuck in this stupid rut.

I decided ultimately to use Solas’s comment from the Blackwall romance, not the Sera romance, because I thought him picking a fight in the middle of their vigil would be a little jarring from the rest of the atmosphere. My beta agreed, and the scene was cut, replaced with the one we have now.

Solas is also, conveniently, using his disgruntlement at doing this as a way to distract himself from dwelling on the fact that his ex, who he is definitely 100% still in love with, needs like… a thousand hugs, some blankets, and hot chocolate.

And he TOTALLY WOULD give her all those things, if, you know, he hadn’t broken up with her like two weeks before her clan was murdered.

“Face, then,” she says, and he nods.

“Let down your hair, please,” he instructs, still not looking at her. She does, staring at him as she reaches up and undoes the leather tie that keeps her haphazard bun in place. She sighs in relief as her damp hair tumbles down her shoulders, running her hands through it to smooth back the baby hairs. She massages her scalp and the back of her skull, wincing at the protests of sore muscles. Once her hair is arranged how she likes, she sets her hands at her sides, fingers knotting in the blanket she’s wrapped around herself.

When he has readied his supplies, he looks up. After a moment, he frowns, and with a flick of his hand summons magelights, which instantly flock to her face. They are bright, but not harsh; the glow is just as soft and warm as candlelight. “Tilt your chin up,” he requests. “Toward the light.”

She does, lifting her head just a little as her eyes fall shut, until the backs of her eyelids are painted golden instead of orange. There is no sound for a moment, before Solas sighs, and the bed across from her rustles, and his fingers brush ever so gently under her chin. Ariala inhales, stiffening, and opens her eyes. Solas does nothing but lift her chin higher, until her neck is arched. He swallows, and his hand drags across her cheek, fingertips gently tucking a loose strand behind her ear. His touch lingers.

Ariala’s breath catches.

If this seems sad somehow to you, it’s because Whispers was doing that sad instrumental part near the end of the song, and it hurts me. Two lines from that song I thought were particularly resonant:

In whispers, in whispers, you saylet it go, let it go — home.

and

Oh, I have seen your beauty growWhere others fade, you shine in gold

Ariala, it should be noted, is literally surrounded by golden light, whether candlelight or magelight. I am really proud of my imagery writing (I try to describe everything so that it’s as cinematic as possible) and I think it really came through in this moment— the scene as a whole, not just Ariala being bathed in golden light.

Shout-out for cinematographic writing! 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

So, they’ve both been circling around each other, having little intimate moments (think when Ariala wrapped Solas’s hands, and him carrying her out of the aravel after Deshanna passes), and this is where that all comes to a head. Solas has a perfect opportunity to touch her (in lifting her chin) but he just can’t help himself from doing more — brushing her hair back behind her ear. It’s a very intimate gesture, which he knows damn well, but he can’t! help! it!

Solas: ok, this is a favor for her, I am a professional. The lighting isn’t good enough to get the details, so, ask her to lift her chin. Excellent, okay, now I can get back to business —

Solas to Solas: caress her cheek like you did when you were together and then tell her she’s perfect

They stare at each other in silence for several moments before Solas drops his hand. “Perfect,” he whispers. Her chest tightens. “Hold there, please.”

this was the moment of where I just

and then stay like that writing the entire rest of the chapter. i’m not joking, my own writing was killing me. fun fact: this was originally supposed to take place in a tent, but I like the aravel setting much better.

“Okay,” she murmurs, almost too softly to be heard. But Solas returns to his position across from her, and after forcing herself to relax, Ariala takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

She does not know how long they stay, but at some point it begins to rain. She listens to the patter of it against the window, against the roof, and all the while the scratch of Solas’s strokes fill the silence of the aravel.

“How did you become an artist?” she asks. “Josephine told me an art scholar said it was an ancient style of the elves, dating back to Arlathan.”

Solas’s pause is only a moment long, but it is long enough. “The scholar was correct,” he says. “It was an art style of ancient Arlathan, one that took centuries to master. A spirit of Creativity taught me, and I practiced the technique when I could. My work is nothing compared to the masters of the craft.”

Now that she knows the truth, a dozen different questions come to mind, each one doing their part to undermine his excuse. If the art took centuries to master, how could he—supposedly mortal—be so good at it? How had he found a spirit of Creativity, rather than a spirit of Vanity or Pride?

How could she have ever missed the holes in his story?  

She opens her eyes and watches him, very carefully. “You use the Fade as an excuse for everything,” she says. He goes very still, staring down at the drawing, fingers tightening on the charcoal stick. Ariala watches him in silence before she says, gently, “Whatever it is, Solas, I want you to know that you can tell me.”

Solas:

Does she know? Does she know?? Her grandmother was acting weird a few days ago, maybe she figured something out and told her, but, no, she doesn’t know, because if she did know, she definitely would’ve tried to … I don’t know, kill me, maybe? I don’t know. I don’t know how she’d react but this is too cryptic and — okay, I think she doesn’t know. She shouldn’t know? But if she didn’t know, then she wouldn’t say that thing about the Fade, because that is a very specific and not incorrect accusation and if she did actually know —

Repeat for like… five minutes. He’s trying to figure out what she’s getting at, while also not giving away the fact that she got to him, which is why he just doesn’t say anything.

She doesn’t want to give away her suspicion just yet. Unlikely as it is, he might take her words for the genuine invitation they are.

Ariala hasn’t confronted Solas about being an ancient elf yet because she knows it’s his secret, so she’s waiting to see if he would trust her enough to reveal it on his own. It’s 100% a test. Is it what she should be doing? No. Is Solas going to come to her on his own? No. Does she know that? No, which is why she’s letting herself hope here.

Damn it, Solas.

She does not know how long she stays like that, listening to their quiet breaths and the sound of Solas sketching. But eventually, the stillness soothes the ragged parts of her, and her breaths deepen and slow.

“Done,” Solas says, much later. Ariala blinks herself awake, realizing she’d been half-asleep. She leans forward, and Solas turns the journal so she may see his work. Their fingers brush as she takes the journal from him.

The charcoal lines are thick, but careful, and graphite is substituted for the smaller lines. He’d drawn her with her eyes closed, and her hair isn’t crimped from the bun. Instead, her hair falls around her in loose waves, framing her face. The vallaslin is intricately drawn, branching across her forehead and down her temples, and he had drawn a larger replica of the pattern on the opposite page. Her nose is not so crooked, and her ears don’t stick out as much.

He’d drawn her to be beautiful.

Dove has a really beautiful video where an artist comes in and draws a variety of women; one drawing based on how the women describe themselves, and then one drawing based on how others describe those women. That video is what the third paragraph was inspired by. We all seem to be hyperaware of our own perceived flaws. Also, in that last line, @playwithdinos​ said “CONTROL YOUR THIRST, SOLAS.”

Other gems from dino:

“Let down your hair, please,” he instructs, still not looking at her. [I like how she’s not “isn’t it easier for you to see if it’s up” like come on Solas. COME ON.]

[…]

He swallows, and his hand drags across her cheek, fingertips gently tucking a loose strand behind her ear. His touch lingers. [Solas you are fooling no one.]

I am very lucky to have her. :)

Ariala lowers her hand, fingertips hovering over the page but not quite touching.

“Well?” Solas asks, just as quietly as he’d spoken before, but there is a note of—something in his voice. Uncertainty, maybe?

Ariala looks up and swallows hard. “It’s beautiful,” is all she says. His wariness softens, and he looks down at the floor, one of his hands crossing to clasp his opposite wrist. A muscle in his jaw twinges.

Remember, Solas has only shown her his journal once before, and she accidentally stumbled upon his everyday drawings of her. She reacted well last time, but he’s still nervous about showing her his art. and it’s adorable ;__;

So French Girls, as a whole, was an exercise in balance, above all things. I needed to balance Ariala’s emotional state after Deshanna’s death, Solas’s inner conflict about the woman he loves, the fragility of the dance between them, and how this moment would (or if it would) lead to an eventual reconciliation. I’m pretty proud of how I wrote the scene, and its aftermath, and I hope readers enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Thanks for asking, anon!

[s-asuke]

SasuSaku Month 2017 - Day 10 - Photograph

No warnings. Here, this is a small contribution, bc it's still the birthday of my fave person, Sasuke Uchiha. Thanks for reading, please leave feedback!! Konoha in the morning was beautiful. Tenten thought it was simply breathtaking – the way the colors played and swayed at the edge of the unknown – so she could climb at the edge of Hiruzen's head and catch the dawn at its most magnificent. The colors splayed in an endless aquarel that cleansed her soul with both sadness and grandiose self-conciousness, her existence didn't matter much, at least not here, underneath this sky. Polaroid camera she had always had with herself was always to come in handy, and her generous, civillian father, the last of her family (the one she knew) had always fixed it, ever since she was young and she even carried it to the war. Numerous pictures have passed through this polaroid. But ever since the young Sarada Uchiha was born, Tenten's favorite thing had become a different one. All the sunsets and moons and flowers had looked the same. Instead, she was filled with new hope. That life can be good again. No matter how bad our losses. Because if a person who encourages, loves, or just simply makes you a better person exists – you need nothing else. And after the war, the just blooming Uchiha family made place for one more. And another. TenTen, not having a last name to go after was adopted by Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha, three years after the war. Sasuke found out, before the war started, that Tenten was related to him in a very far sense, but still his last (now quite literally) living relative. TenTen was also amazed by the request of the survivor, so she moved without a word. Her three years were spent mourning, Neji and some comrades from Konoha and others whose faces she has seen fleetingly, but missed their existence, through never experienced the joy of meeting them. Sakura helped her the most – in pulling her out of her depression. And Sasuke, for the sake of his last family member not being fucked up. He truly put in effort (a complete one hundred 'n' eighty for him but around TenTen, even the ever-so-beloved Fifth spilt top-secrets of the nation with ease). Her grandmother was an Uchiha, who was Sasuke's cousin. So Sasuke, just based on that decided to elope and meet up with the best weapon wielder in all of the Great Five Nations and beyond. They trained together – Sasuke amazed at her marksmanship – hundred out of hundred hit with pure ease. Some targets she didn't even look at. The sadness didn't prevail – and Sasuke, the person who hated being photographed the most, endured the brunette's hobby. TenTen was being thanked on a daily basis, Sakura had over a thousand photos monthly. And that was just the beggining. Baby Sarada was born – the new hope of the Uchiha clan. And TenTen cried. Because Sasuke brought her home, broke the terrifying loneliness that somehow always loomed over her, because he was smiling, his real smile – and told TenTen with Sakura smiled behind him, "This is our baby girl." And Sarada, opening her dark eyes, cooed, stretching her small, smallest arms over to her, hugging her so instinctively – the child that had seen her for the first time – and she already knew they will love each other forever. And before she thought it couldn't be a purer and a more beautiful sight – she got her little head hidden in the crook of her neck – and the beautiful brunnette brushed the swirl of black hair with her lips. "Ah... you are going to be Auntie's little girl. I feel it..." mouthing a thank you at the two of them. From then on, every day of Sarada's growth, including the one of her family was recorded. Tenten had her first teeth on camera – burps and bumps and snowflakes and birthdays and basics and smallest and biggest: nevermind how ordinary – Sarada and she had a special familial bond. She would childishly sneak into the room and photograph the couple as they kissed, the three year old next to her giggling and revealing their presence. Sakura would pout at the brown eyed girl – but quickly forgive as she noticed the beautiful stroke of light on her pictures – their beauty abnormal, Sasuke's even more so, exceptional and pure, rendering her wordless. To be honest, there were so many pictures that Sakura had just one bookshelf for all the photo albums. If the Uchihas had anything those were the photographs. Sasuke would tsk and hn at the shelf when Sakura would mention it but approve nevertheless. Women would often spend their evenings watching the flat screen and the news in Five Nations, and Sasuke and Sarada would indulge in quality father-daughter time. Uzumakis and the Uchihas often ate dinner with one another and TenTen didn't like to interrupt – but Sakura wanted to always ask TenTen out of politeness, until one day Sasuke asked her (more like ordered her but hey, we don't care about the little things) and she had missed only three dinners in ten years. Boruto's toothy grin as him and Sarada tortured the poor Himawari with hugs, cuddles and tickles, and TenTen would scoff, making Sasuke and the Uzumaki couple laugh. Sakura and Sasuke would even luxurize themselves once a week, having nights off and resting at a small lake just outside Konoha. TenTen knew that they deserved every 'alone time' moment they could get. She told Sarada stories about Neji, how brave and selfish and stupid and oblivious he was, and how she will never marry. She told the little girl a lot. Of love and loss, of relatives and bonds that exceeded those simple labels – and the little girl acknowledged that her auntie TenTen was someone who was actually very knowledgeable of life. Sakura would lay down with Sasuke and Sarada and often talk to him about Sarada's family – the Uchiha clan, because knowledge was very important – and about your roots was a very important one. TenTen was asked these questions but rather gallantly escaped them as Sasuke took on the burden of the existence of such questions. Small and perfect, she would tug at her father's sleeve to teach her how to use her clan's jutsu, or spend the mornings with her mother trying to heal fish or something akin, since she wanted to master three things in her life: become the best nin that Konoha's Uchiha clan ever had, better medic than her mother, the best weapon user in the history. All that in kind, and she would train her patience and kindness too, and become Hokage. So, recording every day of her hard work – the living room quickly became the room with the most photo albums in their house (not including TenTen's own), so the day before Sarada's inauguration, TenTen skated among the most important dates, speeches and trainings, to remind the family and the young Hokage how important and full were their lives – how beautiful their existences. How precious Sasuke's and Sakura's little girl was. Because on the day she put the hat with 'Hi' and put in her the Will Of Fire completely, becoming the Ninth Hokage, Sarada Uchiha was photographed smiling, the picture afterwards showing her cape with the Ninth Hokage emboidered on it – later pictures showing her mother crying tears of joy and her stoic father smiling. TenTen loved both nature and human expression. But her family – Sakura, Sasuke and Sarada Uchiha, no one could ever beat them at a prettier picture they make.

[tumblunni]

Bunni’s Rune Factory 4 Headcanons Even More So

okay MISC CHARACTER HEADCANONS AND THINGS

* first and most important one: arthur and dylas consider porcoline their adopted father just like margaret does, and they all see each other as siblings. Its never actually stated in canon but IT HAS TO BE TRUE OKAY * I wish Illuminata, Bado and Pico could have been marriages in dlc or something. Thats not really a headcanon but I wanted to mention it. * ALL THE GAY JOKES ARE NOW NOT JOKES BUT CANON. That is my headcanon. Stop teasing me with ‘lol isnt it somehow funny that they seem to be gay but arent’, and give me more actual being the what they are. Pico has a crush on Dolce, Doug and Dylas have a crush, Margaret is totally crushing on Forte, imagine a universe where all of that gets to be canon and not just a ‘joke’! And imagine if these characters that’re implied to be gay or bisexual could get to be gay or bisexual with regards to the protagonist too! If dylas, doug, margaret and forte could be marriageable no matter which gender you picked! Maybe if you could have some options that’re exclusively gay too? Perhaps pico is the lesbian marriage and I dunno.. bado could be gay because he’s kinda bara? XD Tho I think it’d be neat if frey could marry him too, i just wish he had a route in general. * Also i wish we could have been able to help Arthur track down his mother again and reconcile with her. It was mega heartwarming that you could help him discover that his mother loved him all along and only left because of outside cricumstances involving the controversy of arthur being the product of his father’s affair with a commoner, but still we dont know where she is now and whether she’s happy. I like to hope maybe she’s out there still alive somewhere, and maybe she collects newspaper clippings hearing about her son’s adventures as super businessman prince! And thus someday she hears that he moved to selphia and married frey the commoner, and maybe this leads to her deciding to come back and confess why she really left. And also maybe the marriage to the protagonist could help society get over the whole predjudice and stuff and arthur’s mum could regain a better reputation in the eyes of the nobles. or maybe she never does and she just ends up moving into selphia and never being able to return to her home city, but still its all ok cos at least she can hug her son and meet her new grandkid. * My thoughts for the guardians who didnt get much said about their past lives! For Amber the game says she ‘wanted to fly with ventuswill’ and thats at least more than we know for Dylas, but still its very undeveloped. My headcanon is that maybe she was a pilot? or like.. lived in an era before airships were actually invented, and was someone who dreamed of finding a way to make it possible. And her notes were discovered after she vanished, and ended up inspiring the person who ended up inventing the first flying machine! And even though now she can fly on her own wings, it could be heartwarming for her to find out about this and have a bit of conclusion to her life. I also headcanon that Amber’s relationship with Ventuswill was maybe more like an adoptive mother-daughter thing? I think it would fit with how strange and monster-like Amber thinks sometimes, even though she must have been human to begin with. I mean maybe thats just how the magic works and if you’re a weirdo who loves eating raw potatos and climbing trees to steal honey from beehives you become a butterfly?? But I think it could work if maybe she was an orphan who was raised by the native dragon and ended up a little ditzy because she hadn’t interacted with humans much until nowadays. like, maybe this was a period when ventuswill was mourning the first person who became a guardian (what order did it happen, actually...?) and she became more solitary instead of having this personal presence in the town. She flew off to watch over selphia from within the forest cave instead, and found an abandoned child by chance. And then once Amber had grown up she was always trying to drop her off at the town and make her live with her own kind, but amber would always find her way back. And ventuswill was like ‘aww shit no i ended up loving someone again’ and couldnt stop amber from finding out about the guardian ritual and doing it too. And like... the only reason ventuswill went back to the town was because now corrupted-amber is the boss of the forest area and ventuswill cant break through her magic to get back in. So amber’s sacrifice also helped convince venti to open up to other people again. *eternal sobbing* * And my headcanons for Dylas’s past are less developed, but I was considering maybe the idea that he was the last one to be guardianized? And by this point it had become seen as a tradition by the people of selphia, and they would like.. look for a human sacrifice, rather than it being someone who willingly did it. It was a very dark time in the town’s history. It was nearly the end of the town not because it was in danger, but because if they’d gone through with such a horrible plan it just wouldnt be selphia anymore. Those people wouldnt be worth protecting, it probably would have caused ventuswill to leave and never return. So anyway I was thinking maybe Dylas was some sort of weird loner fisherman on the edge of town that everyone hated, so they considered him the one who should be sacrificed. And he was so lonely and suicidal that he wanted to agree to it, just because he wanted to die and didnt care how. But then ventuswill put a stop to the angry mob and rescued him, and he regained his faith in people and found his first and greatest friend as he got to know her. So in the end he performed the ritual out of his own free will, after realizing she was the one who would be saved by his sacrifice. And she was haunted by the guilt that by saving him she’d inadvertantly caused him to go down the same path anyway, just for different reasons. And then Dylas is just way more happy nowadays because whatever reason the town hated him is now gone, and he’s seeing how kind and wonderful its become, and he’s never had so many friends before!! And he can still go fishing and hang out with venti, and even meet three other people who also loved venti enough to die, and bond over their super sadness together. Oh! An idea! Maybe Dylas was part of a different race of nomadic humans who travel in caravans, and the town treated him so shittily because they were racist fucks? I was just thinking how that could maybe be a reason why his monster form was a horse, if maybe horses were a highly respected animal in his home culture, and he’s all estranged from it and stuck living in a foreign land with a bunch of intolerant bastards. And it could be extra heartwarming cos nowadays he’s living in the future version of this town that is even more foreign to him, but nowadays that racial tension is less common and he’s actually been welcomed as one of them. And maybe he could have extra quests added to his rather short romance route, cos he could be trying to learn whether his clan actually survived and still exists nowadays. And then have a heartwarming reunion with the grandchild of one of his siblings maybe? look, everyone else in the batchelors got a big sad questline, why cant perfect tsundere horseman join them?? IT WOULD BE THE SADDEST OF ALL THE SADS * also it would be really cool if when you married the guardian characters your child could inherit monster powers! I’m still gonna forever headcanon that they do, even if they dont get any of the appearance traits. It would be so cute if noel/luna could poof into a tiny baby unicorn and dylas is just sobbing with pride :3 * also headcanon: I wish Leon’s fox statue guardians could move into the city after you marry him, and be like loving uncle babysitters to your child! the excuse would be like ‘we need to protect the next in the proud dragon priest lineage’. And maybe once they leave the temple they could be stuck in de-powered tiny pet forms of cute? * Oh and a possible headcanon that the name Leon is passed down from father to son in Leon’s family. That’d explain why that temple is called Leon Karnak. Unless it was renamed into a memorial to him after he sacrificed himself? But it could be cute if your kid with him was Leon Jr/Leona and had adorkable fox statue pets and was a prodigy champion in the buddy battle festival and made their parents proud. I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS! * Gahhhh I really dont know who I should marry! Arthur was the first one I dated and I really like him though I wish you could have a friend route with him where you still help him with his backstory problems, I dont feel like I like the ship as much. And then Leon’s backstory was so sad I feel guilty not marrying him, but Dylas’s marriage route was so BAD that I feel guilty not marrying him! He didnt get as many scenes as leon, so I wanna marry him instead so i can fly off headcanoning more scenes!! But gahhh leon!! I think I ship leon with female protagonist and dylas with the male one :P I might make two saves to try both. And a third save just to see what arthur’s route is like, though i still like him and female protagonist better as a brotp, yknow? Or maybe amicable exes. Or just people who dated once casually but didnt end up together. Or any way i could get the happy ending to his backstory stuff without having to date him, seriously why does everyone be backstory sad unless I date them?? Except dylas who DOESNT GET ANY SCREENTIME INSTEAD *pout* *....im gonna go back to the game and marry dylas aaaa * and everyone else * aaaaaaa * i just care so much about these characters * i think dylas might win cos marrying him also means my fave character porcoline becomes my father in law * i wonder if he’s at the wedding? that’d kinda confirm my headcanon dylas and arthur are like margaret’s adopted brothers. * I WANT EVERY FAM TO BE HAPPY AAA