#kind of Hazel Lavesque but not-? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

f0xgl0v3 · 1 year ago

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Main character Camp Jupiter Fatal Flaws Hc/General thoughts!

!!kind of Spoilers for ToA!!

Idk how long this will take to write; but this is my wild speculation on a lot of the Camp Jupiter characters (from HoO, haven’t read ToA yet) fatal flaws! This is all my opinion (that has been shaped by my personal interpretation and totally is all just my speculation and my interpretation not based on how uncle Rick has shown us how fatal flaws -especially in the earlier series- chooses to pick fatal flaws) I’ll do a part 2 for other Camp Jupiter character when I’m not tired because right now I’m struggling through writing Hazel’s part and I’m tired because I go to sleep at like 8:30 pm like a grandma on most days,

Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano,

I’ll be honest, I don’t have very strong opinions on Reyna; I read her in BoO and she’s interesting (though much of what I remember from her chapters were just the insane moment when Hylla chucked a car at Orion)

She just doesn’t stand out to me. In the nicest way possible, I don’t care much about her; I like the whole Venus thing, and that she ends up joining the huntresses (at the beginning when I heard it I didn’t like it too much, possibly a mixture of my own dislike for this interpretation of Artemis; while I was reading tTC I don’t know why but Artemis just annoyed me a bit, along with Zoë, though I don’t fully know why I didn’t like the huntresses to begin with, I just found them a little annoying- ig? Maybe they brought up childhood embarrassment from kindergarten long story but now I’ve grown to… tolerate their Riordan interpretation; maybe this will change by the time I read ToA. Maybe it’s just a mixture of characters I find mildly annoying- I honestly don’t like canon Thalia that much either, she’s okay, but just isn’t my taste. If anyone wants to know characters I like more that give me similar vibes are Hylla, Clarisse, Annabeth, etc.)

Okay this is supposed to be about Reyna-

I just don’t think about her very much.

But her fatal flaw-

Hubris? Guilt? Could be either of those, and my argument for either will of course be very opinion-based and not very well explained or evidence backed up; as that’s not what this page does and when I would ever put evidence and an actual argument in here is if it was about why Michael Varus totally idolized ancient Heroes (this is my hc, and is meant as a comedic example. I have no idea why that needed to be clarified, but I already typed it-)

But Hubris; whenever I think of Reyna’s choices specifically, I think of the lack of opinions she gets on doing it, or when she gets those opinions- the general disregard for those opinions if they give genuine concern and it’s not fitting in with what’s she’s decided to do,

Now this may just be because she’s in a leadership role and we are meant to see her as determined and choosing what she believes is best for the legion (Which in HoO is what I really can see objectively)

I also just see her as a little stubborn; may just be my read on it.

Guilt; the second option I think of when thinking of her fatal flaw; because we don’t exactly know if heroes in PJO are just given the fatal flaw along with their destiny at birth and then left to deal with it, or if they’re developed- from what we know I’ll operate with the assumption that Demigods develop their fatal flaws some time during childhood-

So I think when we hear about Reyna having this overwhelming guilt of committing Patricide on her father; I could see a lot of her worst flaw being that guilt; making her unsure and trepidatious (is that the right word? Hopefully) about making choices, second-guessing all of her decisions to think if she’s doing the right thing, stuff like that. Much more head-cannoney, but I like it; maybe it’s just angsty and after reading the chariot race in the Iliad after Patroclus’s death I need some actual recovery from the whiplash I experienced.

Overall; Reyna, don’t love her, don’t hate her. Love her dogs though, would let Aurum and Argentum eat me <3

Jason Grace

I’m talking about my boy!! Or, my other boy :]

He might be my 3rd favorite pjo character, though I’m not sure if that’s just because I need to somewhat redeem myself by not having 3 villains in a row be my favorites (if anyone would know, Caligula, Commodus, Lityerses, Clarisse, or Beckendorf could also easily steal 3rd place. But Luke and Octavian still sit ever revolving around 1st and 2nd place)

His chapters may be the hardest things to read through; only possibly beaten by the Iliad’s battle scene number 2748 where we talk about the 3rd dude whose head is bashed in with a rock, and listing of every Achaean. I still think he’s fun

Easily one of my favorites out of the seven (Frank, Hazel, Percy, and Annabeth all make it to my ‘I have a very positive opinion of them’. Love Leo and Piper; but Piper’s chapters were more of a slog to get through and I feel very neutral to negative about her, and Leo is fun but I don’t care about him too much- sorry guys, but Frank is cooler B])

Albino Afro-Latino Jason is my headcanon and I stand on my hill to die on it

He has sharp wolf teeth because I said so too-

Chews on things

Burnt out special kid for my heart-

I feel like his fatal flaw (which I mind everyone cannonically is ‘temptation to deliberate’ or as the wiki describes it because I don’t feel my interpretation as ‘indecisive and not wanting to make a choice that stands with one particular group,)

But my headcanon is his fatal flaw being Loyalty^^

This man drops everything for Piper; gives up his life in Camp Jupiter (which to be fair; he didn’t remember very well)

Takes the way worse choice of having to stay in the creepy Zeus cabin to be with her

And from what I heard he continues this record in ToA!

Even more traits of extreme to detrimental loyalty than Percy tbh-

So I think his thing is loyalty. The first few chapters of BoO is Jason coming to another near-death experience by the hands of a Roman and the ravaged soul of his mother while he outright rejects his Roman life for the Greeks- I think, BoO feels a little like a feverdream in my head so I don’t remember all of the specifics or my thoughts about it at the time I read it.

But I love this silly little skrunkle wolf kid. He also had piercings, and in my heart he didn’t die- what are you talking about?

Overall; love him, don’t know how much I like him in proportion to every other character I also like (Disco Darrin forever guys😎)

Frank Zhang

You guys see that I’m trying to get the Mc’s out of the way to then get to the things I like (talking about random side characters)

But Frank; he is so cute, I love him, he gets a nice hug.

Uhhhh, I don’t have much things about him

He tried playing hockey. That’s my goopy half-formed idea, I’ll probably have more of a story to that once I like actually can get one finger out of the side character train of thought to actually give Main characters some attention

I didn’t think of his fatal flaw going into this so this is my first draft of what I think Frank’s Fatal Flaw is,

The canon is low self-esteem, which may I say, after MoA is just like- dropped in HoO; I don’t remember many times where he was unsure of himself and that directly caused a detriment to the group (might be wrong because I finished SoN in a day and did that on like June 2nd this year so I’m rusty guys-)

But I feel bold, so I’m gonna say- not wrath, but some form of anger-related Fatal flaw,

Now; in SoN, self-esteem probably fits. But through MoA and beyond I remember notable moments in my brain of Frank and a very quick potent release of anger, or things related to anger and that emotional profile (is that right? Or uh, what I mean is like Anger being the umbrella term for all of the subcategories that we use to describe types of anger)

So I think that being Frank’s fatal flaw; having to go in a back and forth between not letting his anger bubble up and thinking that’s bad and watching as it comes up in fiery bursts feels fitting. Though I’m a little tired so it’s not my finest explanation

Hazel Levesque

I don’t have much ideas or opinions on the fandoms horse girl

I like her though, she’s rad

But uh

No thoughts on her

Hazel’s fatal flaw cannonically is her past. Which I kind of get; but Fatal flaws like originally were at least meant to be like actual flaws in the Og myths if I remember (Odysseus had Hubris; also his lying thing which was probably an offshoot of Hubris, but I just find that so funny for no reason-)

Hazel; honestly I don’t feel like I know her well enough to say for sure a fatal flaw for her based on her actions.

I would say impulsivity or recklessness but something in my brain is saying that might not be fully correct and I’m sure there’s plenty of options where she is not shown as reckless or impulsive

It is something that is to do with both her Gaea uprising #1 block, and saving her mother from the fields of punishment.

I’ll get back to you guys on a separate post

I’m tired so goodnight everyone^^ I’ll get back to my musings tomorrow, or another date

Goodnight!!

#pjo hoo toa #reyna avila ramirez arellano #jason grace #frank zhang #kind of bad writing #idk how to tag this #kind of Hazel Lavesque but not-?

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flightfoot · 6 years ago

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Memories of Godly Selfishness Ch. 1

So I’ve been working on this for the last few days. The ideas been banging along in my head for the past few months. I remembered it again a few days ago and thought “hey, maybe I should submit this as a prompt!” and then realized “Oh wait, I’m a fanfic writer, I can just write the darn thing myself.” It was faster and easier to write than I expected! Still took a while though.

This will be a two-shot, though I’m not sure when I’ll write the second chapter.

The context here is that Apollo manages to accidentally drag Meg into his flashbacks, the same way Hazel took Leo and Frank along on some of her flashbacks. So they’re viewing these memories from a third-person perspective.

Meg and I stood in the middle of an amphitheater. Scraggly bushes populated the area beyond the stone of the amphitheater. It all seemed very familiar...

Before I was able to figure out why (curse my tiny mortal memory) I heard the twang of a ukulele’s string being plucked. Instinctively I turned around. As a god of music, I naturally grew curious whenever I heard music, plus the months I’d spent as a mortal had honed my sound identifying and threat assessment abilities... which was a nice way of saying that I listened fearfully for any sound I didn’t know the origin of and looked for hiding spots if I thought it was a monster... or worse.

My mind came to a screeching halt. I was looking at a highly attractive young man, roughly seventeen years old, with curly blond hair and a nice tan, mournfully plucking away at a ukulele. I was looking at myself. Me, before I’d lost my divinity, before I’d met Meg, before my children were kidnapped, before I dragged Meg out of the Cave of Trophonious, before Crest and Jason died, before any of the events that had radically altered how I behaved and my perception of the world.

That still didn’t tell me WHEN I was, though. My memory was faulty at the best of times, and trying to figure out what was going on just based on me sadly playing a ukulele by myself wasn’t much of a clue.

Wait... by myself?

I broke my gaze from my glorious divine self (oh, how I missed my true appearance), and cast my gaze from side to side. My eyes locked onto the form of a young teenage girl with long dark hair, whittling away on a piece of wood, forming it into a bow.

Artemis.

Before I could form another thought, I was scrambling across the floor to get to her.

“Sister!” I yelled as I ran at her, my arms open, desperately wanting, NEEDING to see her face and to feel her embrace again.

I passed right through her as if I wasn’t even there.

Reality reasserted itself. This was a memory. I couldn’t interact with anyone here. It only existed in my mind.

Meg caught up with me and gently took my hand. I turned to her. That’s right. Meg was real. She was here.

“You’ll see her again,” Meg reassured me. I wanted to believe her, but after everything I’d been through, I wasn’t so sure. I settled for studying her face, trying to memorize every detail, the color of her eyes, the expression on her face as she vented her frustration through her crafting. I wanted to hang onto my memories of my sister this time. I had to at least try.

As I was staring at my sister, I heard a yell from the edges of the amphitheater, “Don’t shoot!”

Startled, I looked up. Descending the stairs to the center stage were Leo, Frank, and Hazel.

Ah. That narrowed things down a bit. I remembered this, but vaguely. Leo had asked me for advice on his plan to defeat Gaea and for help with the Physician’s Cure. In exchange he had traded me the Valdezinator, that wonderful musical instrument of his. Sadly I couldn’t remember much beyond those facts. The memory itself was blurry and hard to get ahold of. I decided to give up on forcing myself to remember and just watch it instead.

As the demigods reached the front row where Artemis sat, she muttered, “There you are. We were beginning to wonder.”

“So you were expecting us, then,” Leo replied. “I can tell, because you’re so excited.”

“We were expecting to be found, bothered, and tormented,” my godly self interjected melodramatically, still plucking on his ukulele’s strings, “We didn’t know by whom. Can you not leave us in our misery?”

Beside me, Meg snorted and rolled her eyes. I had a feeling she was unimpressed with my past self. I didn’t blame her. This all seemed very silly and kinda embarrassing now. The demigods had had a FAR worse time than I had. It was ridiculous for me to be throwing a pity party for myself while they were risking their lives on a quest to save both camps and the gods, all with very little help from the gods they were protecting.

At least I’d been able to help here. I remembered that much. I had helped Leo survive. I had done SOMETHING right during all of this at least.

“You know they can’t, brother,” Artemis chided. “They require our help with their quest, even if the odds are hopeless.”

Meg jolted, eyes widening in realization. “That’s YOU?!” she exclaimed in disbelief, gesturing to my godly self.

Ah. Meg had never seen me as a god. She wouldn’t know the kinds of forms my divine self preferred. I nodded, putting my fingers to my lips in an attempt to quiet her. I was pretty sure there hadn’t been long pauses in this conversation for commentary by my future self and a young girl to talk during, and I doubted that I could rewind this memory. I didn’t want to miss any of this. We’d have to talk when there WAS a break in the conversation... assuming we had one before the memory ended.

“You two are full of good cheer,” Leo said. “Why are you hiding out here anyway? Shouldn’t you be... I dunno, fighting giants or something?”

I rolled my eyes. I WISHED. If Artemis and I had had the ability, we would’ve rained vengeance down on Orion for harming her Hunters. A memory resurfaced of myself holding Artemis as she cried, feeling the life drain from her friends’ bodies, unable to do anything to help them. I pushed it away before it could overwhelm me. I had my hands full with THIS memory, I didn’t want to get dragged into a different memory and miss this one.

Artemis glared at Leo. I began to feel a little nervous. I didn’t REMEMBER Artemis turning him into a woodland creature, but my memory was pretty faulty at the moment...

“Delos is our birthplace,” my sister said. “Here, we are unaffected by the Greek-Roman schism. Believe me, Leo Valdez, if I could, I would be with my Hunters, facing our old enemy Orion. Unfortunately, if I stepped off this island, I would become incapacitated with pain. All I can do is watch helplessly as Orion slaughters my followers. Many gave their lives to protect your friends and that accursed Athena statue.”

Meg turned to me, her brow furrowing, mouthing ‘Greek-Roman schism?’. I mouthed back, ‘Later’.

Hazel emitted a choking sound. “You mean Nico? Is he alright?”

I felt terrible seeing her like that. Knowing your sibling is in danger, and unable to do anything to help them... I know how that felt.

“All right?” my former self sobbed out. “None of us are alright, girl! Gaea is rising!”

I almost laughed. I sounded so ridiculous and pathetic. There I was, all my divine power intact, an Olympian! ...and yet I was losing my head more than the oh-so-squishy, oh-so-killable demigods, who had actually been forced to face Gaea’s minions. I’d just sat on Delos and sulked.

Artemis evidently agreed with my current self. She glared at my past self. “Hazel Lavesque, your brother is still alive. He is a brave fighter, like you. I wish I could say the same of my brother.”

“You wrong me!” my godly self wailed. “I was misled by Gaea and that horrible Roman child!”

I wasn’t sure how the demigods resisted busting out laughing at that exclamation. I sounded like a toddler that thought that the entire world had betrayed him because his mother wouldn’t push him on the swing.

Somehow they kept their self-control. Frank cleared his throat. “Uh, Lord Apollo, you mean Octavian?”

“Do not speak his name!” my former self exclaimed as he strummed another note on his ukulele. “Oh, Frank Zhang, if only you were my child.” I silently agreed. I’d gotten to know Frank better over the course of my quest. I would’ve been honored to have him as my son. “I heard your prayers, you know, all those weeks you wanted to be claimed.But alas! Mars gets all the good ones. I get... that creature as my descendant. He filled my head with compliments. He told me of the great temples he would build in my honor.”

My sister snorted. “You are easily flattered, brother.”

“Because I have so many amazing qualities to praise!” I felt my face twist in disgust. Yes, AMAZING qualities. Like my cowardice, my ignorance, my willingness to watch children die and treat it as ENTERTAINMENT... and my inability to save those children, even when I was trying my hardest. Death followed in my wake.

Meg looked over at me, her face scrunched up in a concerned expression. I smoothed out my expression as best I could. I didn’t want to worry her.

My past self continued talking while this was going on, “Octavian said he wanted to make the Romans strong. I said fine! I gave him my blessing.”

I looked down for a moment. Octavian and Commodus. I had given both my blessing. Both had gone crazy and died, one by my own hand. I had a terrible track record with my blessings.

“As I recall,” said Artemis, “he also promised to make you the most important god of the legion, above even Zeus.”

My eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Oh yeah, THAT was one of the things he promised me. How was I so much of an idiot that I didn’t realize that Zeus would take offense at that? He couldn’t stand ANY possible threat to his power, he’d never have allowed for my power to grow and his own to diminish that much, not while he had a way to stop it.

“Well, who was I to argue with an offer like that? Does Zeus have a perfect tan? Can he play the ukulele? I think not!”

I buried my face in my hands. Meg busted out laughing. I’d undergone a LOT of humiliation throughout my time as a mortal. It seemed ironic that the most embarrassing thing I’d been through so far was watching what I said and did when I was a god.

My former self continued, “But I never thought Octavian would start a war! Gaea must have been clouding my thoughts, whispering in my ear.”

Truthfully, I couldn’t remember now WHAT I thought Octavian would do. It never crossed my mind that my children would be in danger, but that may have simply been because I was in Roman form at the time, so my Greek children weren’t at the forefront of my thoughts.

“So fix it,” Leo said. “Tell Octavian to stand down. Or, you know, shoot him with one of your arrows. That would be fine too.”

I snorted. As if my life was ever that easy.

My past self quickly disabused Leo of that notion. “I cannot!” he cried. “Look!” He turned his ukulele into a bow. I watched enviously. Oh how I missed being able to do that, it meant I didn’t have to encumber myself. Alas, I was mortal now, and that was simply one of the many inconveniences I had to put up with.

He summoned a golden arrow (another ability I wish I still had, running out of ammunition was always a pain. And terrifying. Mostly terrifying) nocked it, and let it fly. It evaporated at Delos’s boundary.

“To shoot my bow, I would have to step off Delos. Then I would be incapacitated, or Zeus would strike me down. Father never liked me. He hasn’t trusted me for millennia!”

Trust.

I bitterly wished that I could trust Zeus not to torture me when I displeased him, . At the very least, I wish I could trust him to set his priorities straight. He might have decided that this was a good and just punishment for me, turning me mortal and making me go on a quest in order to regain his favor. Fine. But preventing other gods from helping was causing more mortals to die in the Triumvirate’s attacks than was necessary. But he didn’t care. He had faith that whatever happened, it wouldn’t get so far that it threatened himself directly, nor his power. Loss of life was of little concern to him.

“Well,” my sister responded, “to be fair, there was that time you conspired with Hera to overthrow him.”

“That was a misunderstanding!”

It hadn’t been a misunderstanding. I was bitter over being shocked for nth time that year, and when I saw a chance to stop from being shocked again, I took it. I should’ve known better than to side with Hera though. Honestly, she had tortured my mother, what was I THINKING siding with her?

“And you killed some of Zeus’s Cyclopes.”

“I had a good reason for that!”

I looked down at my shoes, not wanting to meet Artemis’s eyes, even though she couldn’t see this version of me. I hadn’t had a good reason. I’d just told myself I did. I needed someone to blame, someone to take my anger out on who wouldn’t destroy me if I tried, and they were convenient. I was willing to admit this to myself now, though I’d always known it. Meeting Tyson had made me regret taking my anger out on those Cyclopes. Those gentle, but still somewhat bitter eyes as he asked me if I would kill HIM if Zeus or another god used one of the weapons he made to do something cruel, something Tyson had no knowledge of and couldn’t stop even if he did... it filled me with shame.

I was still talking. At this point I wished he’d just shut up. He reminded me of everything I hate about how I used to act.

“At any rate, now Zeus blames me for everything - Octavian’s schemes, the fall of Delphi-”

“Wait,” Hazel inquired, forming the gesture for ‘time-out’. “The fall of Delphi?”

I groaned. Did we REALLY have to go over this? It had been my reality for the past few months, I didn’t need a recap.

Hazel needed to be informed, however. My former self sated her curiosity. “When the schism began between Greek and Roman, while I struggled with confusion, Gaea took advantage! She raised my old enemy Python, the great serpent, to repossess the Delphic Oracle. That horrible creature is now coiled in the ancient caverns, blocking the magic of prophecy. I am stuck here, so I can’t even fight him.”

I shuddered. I still wasn’t sure how I could defeat Python like this. The thought of facing him again sent my knees knocking, and I had to fight to stay upright. Meg took my hand, wordlessly showing her support. I calmed down. Maybe I was mortal this time, that was true. But this time, I wasn’t alone. We would defeat Python together.

“Bummer,” Leo said. He didn’t look very bummed. I couldn’t really blame him. It was awful that the power of prophecy had gone out, but I knew first-hand how taxing it could be to be the subject of a prophecy.

“Bummer indeed!” My godly version cried. “Zeus was already angry with me for appointing that new girl, Rachel Dare, as my Oracle. Zeus seems to think I hastened the war with Gaea by doing so, since Rachel issued the Prophecy of Seven as soon as I blessed her. But prophecy doesn’t work that way! Father just needed someone to blame. So of course he picked the handsomest, most talented, hopelessly awesome god.”

Anger and resentment nipped at my core. Zeus KNEW Rachel issuing that prophecy hadn’t caused it to arrive sooner. But he needed an excuse, ANY excuse, to blame someone, ANYONE else. Just so long as he wasn’t to blame.

While I was simmering about Zeus’s injustice, Meg burst out laughing again, which quickly extinguished my anger. Artemis faked some gagging noises at the same time. I started chuckling as well. My vanity HAD been pretty hilarious at times. Meg and I were laughing so hard, I nearly missed the next part of the conversation.

“Oh, stop it, sister! You’re in trouble too!”

“Only because I stayed in touch with my Hunters against Zeus’s wishes,” my sister said. “But I can always charm Father into forgiving me. He’s never been able to stay mad at me. it’s you I’m worried about.”

“I’m worried about me too!” my past self agreed. “We have to do something. We can’t kill Octavian. Hmm. Perhaps we should kill these demigods.”

The laughter died in my throat. I must have heard wrong. That couldn’t be right. I may have been an idiot in the past, I may have been negligent, and perhaps even callous, but there was no way I had seriously suggested murdering the heroes of the prophecy - the young demigods who would become my friends - simply because I felt the need to do something. My first instinct while I was panicking couldn’t have been to murder some innocent demigods who were trying to help rectify the situation, just because I couldn’t murder some other person. I HAD to have that wrong. I HAD to.

I felt Meg turn rigid next to me, immediately falling silent. It was the same way she behaved when reminded of The Beast.

Leo dashed my desperate hope, my denial. “Whoa there, Music Man. We’re on your side, remember? Why would you kill us?” A dash of fear colored Leo’s face as he said all this. I felt my stomach twist. He had really thought there was a chance, however small, that I would actually kill him. And the worst part was, I was pretty sure he was right.

“It might make me feel better!” my stupid, STUPID past self proclaimed. “I have to do something!”

Make me feel better... really? Killing children for no reason might make me feel better? My hand clenched, my knuckles turning white. I wished I had something to smash, but everything here was an illusion, simply a memory.

Leo kept things moving along. “Or you could help us. See, we’ve got this plan...” I calmed down slightly, listening to Leo’s plan. It had worked, and I had helped. I had been stupid in the past, but I HAD still helped. That counted for SOMETHING, right?

I may not have been able to vent, but my past self had no such problem. He stood up. “The physician’s cure?” He smashed his ukulele on the ground. “That’s your plan?”

Meg jumped slightly at my former self’s show of violence. Her expression closed off, as if she was trying to shut out the outside world. I wanted to comfort her, to explain, but we needed to get to a lull in the conversation first. I hoped one arrived soon.

Leo held his hands up, attempting to calm down my former self. “Hey, um, usually I’m all for smashing ukuleles, but-”

“I cannot help you!” My godly self cried. “Yes you can,” I muttered quietly to myself. “You’re just afraid too.”

I at least understood why I had been afraid. It’s not JUST that I was afraid of Zeus hurting me. I still remembered what happened the last time the cure was used, how Zeus had struck down my favorite son. I could take Zeus’s wrath. My loved ones couldn’t.

My former self continued his wailing, “If I told you the secret of the physician’s cure, Zeus would never forgive me!”

I blinked. Actually, neither Zeus nor anyone else had seemed to care too much. I guess Leo got one Get-Out-Of-Death-Free card. Too bad he was the only one, and only once. I was certain that if he died again, he would stay dead.

Leo attempted to persuade him. “You’re already in trouble. How could it get worse?”

I gaped a little at that. Had Leo seriously tried that line of reasoning? ‘How could it get worse?’ What had he been thinking?

My past self must’ve agreed with me. He shot Leo a withering glare. “If you knew what my father was capable of, mortal, you would not ask. It would be simpler if I just smote you all. That might please Zeus-”

I just groaned and buried my face in my hands again. As soon as I got back to reality I was gonna bang my head on the nearest wall. We were back to this again? Seriously? Why would murdering these demigods please Zeus? He didn’t generally take kindly to people murdering his-

My blood turned to ice. I had contemplated killing Jason. Even for a moment, I had thought about it, seriously considered going through with it. I don’t think it would have actually come to that, but the fact that it had even been a possibility in my mind...?

Thankfully my sister, my dear, sweet, sensible sister was there. “Brother...” she said warningly, glaring. The two locked eyes, commencing a mental argument. Artemis won, as usual. My past self sighed and kicked the broken remnants of his ukulele across the stage, a display of his childishness.

My sister stood up. “Hazel Lavesque, Frank Zhang, come with me. There are things you should know about the Twelfth Legion. As for you, Leo Valdez, Apollo will hear you out. See if you can strike a deal. My brother always like a good bargain.”

Frank and Hazel glanced back at Leo as they left, looking worried. A weight dropped into my stomach. They thought he was in danger too. In danger from ME.

I stared longingly at my sister as she left. I’d much rather be with her than with my past self. Sadly, I could not venture beyond the constraints of my memory.

A moment later my godly self turned to Leo, his arms folded, eyes glowing. “Well, Leo Valdez? Let us bargain, then. What can you offer that would convince me to to help you rather than kill you?”

Stop saying that, I silently begged. I GET it, I was a childish, murderous asshole. You don’t need to continue auditioning for the role, you already won an award for the part.

Fingers twitching, Leo talked with my former self. “A bargain. Yes. Absolutely.”

I watched as Leo started assembling that beautiful musical instrument of his, his hands working feverishly as he talked. He was barely even LOOKING at what he was doing. All the while, he continued reasoning with my past self. “So the thing is, Zeus is already pretty P.O.’ed at you, right? If you help us defeat Gaea, you could make it up to him.”

Honestly I doubted that even that would have been enough to quell Zeus’s wrath, but it was a far better plan than ‘murder people’. Speaking of which...

My godly self wrinkled his nose. I guess he really preferred the murder plan over the help-save-the-world plan. “I suppose that’s possible. But it would be easier to smite you.”

Leo wasn’t giving up THAT easily. “What kind of ballad would that make? You’re the god of music, right? Would you listen to a song called ‘Apollo Smites a Runty Little Demigod’? I wouldn’t. But ‘Apollo Defeats the Earth Mother and Saves the Freaking Universe’... that sounds like a Billboard chart-topper!”

At that moment, I was thinking of composing a song titled ‘Apollo is a Stupid Vain Idiot’. I’d have plenty of material to draw from for the lyrics.

At least that argument seemed persuasive. When in doubt, flatter. “What do you want exactly? And what do I get out of it?”

A chance to help a demigod survive, I added silently in my head.

Leo launched into his description of his plan for defeating Gaea. Listening to him, I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t realized his true intentions back then. It was obvious he was planning on implementing it himself. I suppose I just didn’t care much about what he was going to do. It didn’t concern ME, after all. I kept my eyes focused on Leo’s hands, at the brilliant device he was constructing. He seemed to be on auto-pilot.

Finally even my former self noticed that Leo was doing more than just keeping his hands busy. Looking at the strings and levers, I could almost hear the *click* as he realized that what Leo had assembled looked an awful lot like a musical instrument... “What is that you have made?”

Leo stared down at his contraption, as if he’d never seen it before. He looked puzzled, almost as if...

And then I got it.

I gaped at Leo in disbelief. Had he seriously...?

Leo seemed to stall a little. “Oh, this...? Um, well, this is quite simply the most amazing instrument ever!”

He had. He seriously had. He’d invented a musical instrument from scratch in the five minutes he was talking to me, in order to use as a bargaining chip to get me to help him with the physician’s cure and not kill him. And he hadn’t even MEANT to do it. I would have to congratulate Leo on pulling off that feat when we got back to reality... and lecture him about how reckless he’d been, going into this without a plan.

Also, I should probably check Leo’s bloodline. I wondered whether he was one of Hermes’ Legacies...

“How does it work?” my past self inquired.

Leo nervously looked down at his invention, inspecting it. Being familiar with Leo’s expressions and mannerisms, I was pretty sure that he didn’t even KNOW how it worked, and simply made a good guess based on how it was constructed.

Wait. If Leo didn’t even know how to play the Valdezinator at first, I doubted he’d put in some secret scales. He’d tricked me! Oh, I was SO getting him back for that.

Leo’s hands flew over the machine, tweaking a lever here, turning a gear there. The most wonderful melody sprang from the machine, a somewhat sad, longing song. Home. The song was about homesickness, I could tell now. But for Leo, there was more to it.

In his expression, I saw the longing of a lover long separated, much like Odysseus’s longing for home.

Odysseus. Ogygia. That song was for Calypso. Yet he had played it for me, to obtain my help. I felt strangely honored that he would share such a private melody with me.

When he had finished, there wasn’t a dry face around. Even Meg was enraptured my the music, tears flowing down her face. I imagine that she knew something about missing home from those long years after she was taken from her childhood home, from her father, and forced to work for Nero.

My godly self was just as transfixed by the instrument as I was. “I must have it. What is it called? What do you want for it?”

Leo hugged the instrument to himself at those words for a few seconds. Then a look of resignation, and a moment later, determination passed over him.

He hadn’t wanted to part with the machine. It must’ve been one of the few things that had reminded him of his girlfriend, but he had done it so that he could get what he needed, and return to her. I decided that when I had obtained the instrument again, I’d let Leo borrow it on occasion. He’d invented it, it was only right.

Leo bluffed for all he was worth... though considering that the instrument lived up to his praise, perhaps it was less a “bluff”, and more just ‘quickly pulling a sales pitch out of nowhere based on things he’s figured out in the last ten seconds and hopes are actually correct.’ “This is the Valdezinator, of course! It works by, um, translating your feeling into music as you manipulate the gears. It’s really meant for me, a child of Hephaestus, to use, though. I don’t know if you could-”

Ah, a CHALLENGE. He knew me well. Seriously, even though he had just met me, he played me like a fiddle.

“I am the god of music! I can certainly master the Valdezinator. I must! It is my duty!”

Oh how I hoped I’d actually be able to do that. I had only just begun unlocking that marvelous instrument’s secrets when Artemis and I had felt our Greek and Roman halves unite and had promptly raced off to help fight the Giants.

“So let’s wheel and deal, Music Man. I give you this; you give me the physician’s cure.”

“Oh... Well, I don’t actually have the physician’s cure.”

“I thought you were the god of medicine.”

I rolled my eyes. Being the god of something didn’t mean I knew everything about it, or that I was best at every aspect of it. When would mortals learn that? Then again, us gods tended to get pretty upset if they suggested such a thing, so perhaps it wasn’t too surprising that they assumed we had more power and expertise over our domains than we actually did.

My godly self explained, “Yes, but I’m the god of many things! Poetry, music, the Delphic Oracle-” here he let out a large sob. “Sorry. I’m fine, I’m fine. As I was saying, I have many spheres of influence. Then, of course, I have the who ‘sun god’ gig, which I inherited from Helios. The point is, I’m rather like a general practitioner. For the physician’s cure, you need a specialist - the only one who has ever cured death: My son Asclepius, the god of healers.”

Ah, Asclepius. I’d have to see if I could visit him. It’d been awhile. I wondered whether Zeus would allow Asclepius to help me, or if he had forbidden Asclepius as well as Artemis from giving me assistance.

Leo clearly wasn’t going to give up that easily. He played a few more notes, tempting my godly self even more. “That’s a shame, Apollo. I was hoping we could make a deal.”

My former self was putty in Leo’s hands at that point. I was a sucker for musical instruments. “Stop! It’s too beautiful! I’ll give you directions to Asclepius. He’s really very close!”

“How do we know he’ll help us? We’ve only got two days until Gaea wakes.”

“He’ll help! My son is very helpful. Just plead with him in my name.You’ll find him at his old temple in Epidaurus.”

Come to think of it, I’d have to ask Leo how that visit had gone. Asclepius didn’t get a lot of visitors, what with his guards preventing most visitors, so I’d imagine he was pretty pleased to have some new company.

“What’s the catch?”

“Ah... well, nothing. Except, of course, he’s guarded.”

“Guarded by what?”

“I don’t know!”

I didn’t know? Had it really been so long? When was the last time I even tried to check on him? A decade ago? A century? I resolved to visit him as soon as was feasible. I’d been neglecting so many of my family members...

“I only know Zeus is keeping Asclepius under guard so he doesn’t go running around the world resurrecting people. The first time Asclepius raised the dead... well, he caused quite an uproar. It’s a long story. But I’m sure you can convince him to help.”

‘Quite an uproar’. Well that was an understatement. Zeus killed Asclepius, I killed some Cyclopes, Zeus made me mortal, and made Asclepius a god.

“This isn’t sounding like much of a deal.” Well sorry Leo, but I honestly COULDN’T help more than that. Well, except for... “What about the last ingredient- the curse of Delos. What is it?”

My godly self stared entranced at the Valdezinator. Leo started looking concerned. I think he may have thought I would just take the thing... which I wouldn’t have. Stealing instruments from their inventor would only discourage others from innovating in the future. I suppose Leo didn’t know that though. I’d certainly given him no reason to believe that I was fair or reasonable.

“I can give the last ingredient to you. Then you’ll have everything Asclepius needs to brew the potion.”

Leo wheedled some more, playing the instrument a little to make sure I was maximally tempted. “I dunno. Trading this beautiful Valdezinator for some Delos curse-”

It worked.

“It’s not actually a curse! Look...” my past self plucked a flower. “This is the curse of Delos.”

“A cursed daisy?”

Well, in a manner of speaking...

My past self sighed. “That’s just a nickname. When my mother, Leto, was ready to give birth to Artemis and me, Hera was angry, because Zeus had cheated on her again. So she went around to every single landmass on earth. She made the nature spirits in each place promise to turn my mother away so she couldn’t give birth anywhere.”

Honestly, didn’t Hera have anything better to do with her time?

“Sounds like something Hera would do.”

“I know, right? Anyway, Hera exacted promises from every land that was rooted on the earth- but not from Delos, because back then Delos was a floating island. The nature spirits of Delos welcomed my mother. She gave birth to my sister and me, and the island was so happy to be our new sacred home it covered itself in these little yellow flowers. The flowers are a blessing, because we’re awesome. But they also symbolize a curse, because once we were born, Delos got rooted in place and wasn’t able to drift around the sea anymore. That’s why yellow daisies are called the curse of Delos.”

Honestly I’d prefer for them to be called ‘the blessing of Delos’. It sounded better to me. Alas, ‘the curse of Delos’ had stuck somehow.

“So I could have just picked the daisy myself and walked away.”

“No, no! Not for the potion you have in mind. The flower would have to be picked by either my sister or me. So what do you say, demigod? Directions to Asclepius and your last magical ingredient in exchange for that new musical instrument- do we have a deal?”

Leo sounded slightly reluctant, but he want through with it,“You drive a hard bargain, Music Man.”

“Excellent!”

The items exchanged hands. I let out a breath and smiled. I’d helped Leo survive. I may have needed to be bribed, but I had still helped to save my friend.

My godly self experimented with the Valdezinator. It made a strange revving noise. I remembered trying to learn how to play it. I don’t know how Leo picked it up so easily. Even as a god, it took me a while to figure out even the basics of how to play it. “Hmm... perhaps it’ll take some practice, but I’ll get it! Now let us find your friends. The sooner you leave the better!”

The world blurred around Meg and I. I instinctively moved closer to her. Meg stayed stock still, still closed off.

I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but then the world resolved.

We were in the middle of a lush green park, satyrs and nymphs scampering around, having fun. Looking around, I spotted Percy and Grover talking close behind me, Juniper not far from them.

Meg perked up slightly, watching the scene with interest.

The scene didn’t remain that peaceful for long.

The sunlight increased in intensity, becoming brighter and brighter. Steam emitted from the grass, as if it was boiling, though I saw no scorch marks. When the steam cleared, there I was, smiling like I was about to present the most coveted prize in the world.

Grover muttered “Oh no.. This can’t be good.”, looking at me with dread. My face fell. The fact that I could hear that now, in this memory, meant I heard it then too and just chose to ignore it.

I struggled, trying to remember what had happened here. Percy and Grover had helped me retrieve something I was missing, I remembered that much. I remembered them being delighted to help me however, so I was afraid that I might have revised my memories after the fact. They certainly didn’t look pleased at the moment.

“Percy Jackson!” My godly self bellowed. “And, um, your goat friend-”

“His name is Grover,” Percy cut in. “And we’re kind of off-duty, Lord Apollo. It’s Grover’s birthday.”

It had been Grover’s birthday? I didn’t remember that at all. Which meant... I’d ruined Grover’s birthday, hadn’t I. My shoulders slumped. I was amazed Grover wasn’t more irritated with me when Meg summoned him in Indiana, if this was the most significant interaction I’d had with him.

“Happy birthday!” My past self congratulated. “I’m so glad you’re taking the day off. That means you two have time to help me with a little problem!”

Clearly I hadn’t known what ‘day off’ meant- or more accurately, I hadn’t cared.

My past self led Percy and Grover away from the rest of the group. I watched as Juniper clung to Grover, as if afraid she’d never see him again. It reminded me of how Frank and Hazel looked when they had left Leo with me. Was this a common thing? For people to be afraid to leave me alone with the people they cared about, but unable to protest due to my godhood?

After a few minutes of walking, my godly self stopped. “Allow me to introduce, the Chryseae Celedones.” He snapped his fingers. Three golden women materialized. Percy looked wary, stepping back a little.

“Uh...What did you say these were? Krissy Kelly something?”

“Chryseae Celedones,” my former self corrected. “Golden singers. They’re my backup band!”

Grover gaped at the mechanical women, his eyes bulging. “I- I didn’t think they were real!”

Huh/ I’d have to perform with them a little more often, if people didn’t even know they existed. From the looks of it, Grover would probably enjoy the concert.

My past self laughed. “Well, it’s been a few centuries since I brought them out. If they perform too often, you know, their novelty wears off. They used to live at my temple at Delphi. Man, they could rock that place. Now I only use them for special occasions.”

Ah, I remembered those long ago days. I made sure to host a concert with them at least once per a mortal’s lifetime, so that every Pythian Oracle had a chance to hear them. I’d have to break them out of storage so that Rachel could attend a concert with them, once I was back on Olympus of course. Maybe hold a concert at camp? It could be a special one, mainly for the campers. If gods wanted to attend, they’d have to actually come down... which meant that their kids could see them. Hm...

Grover had misunderstood. “You brought them out for my birthday?”

Considering I hadn’t even KNOWN it was his birthday, I’d say no. My godly self quickly disabused Grover of that notion... though he was a bit of a jerk about it. “No, fool! I��ve got a concert tonight on Mount Olympus. Everyone is going to be there! The Nine Muses are opening, I’m performing a mix of old favorites and new material. I mean, it’s not like I need the Celedones. My solo career has been great. But people will expect to hear some of my classic hits with the girls: ‘Daphne on my Mind’, ‘Stairway to Olympus’. ‘Sweet Home Atlantis’. It’s going to be awesome!”

A concert with the Nine Muses... I’d promised Crest he’d get to play with me. I sobbed a little, thinking of him turning to dust in my arms.

Withdrawn as she was, Meg still looked concerned at my distress. She hesitantly placed a hand on my arm, but looked ready to flee at the slightest sign of trouble. I flashed her a grateful smile. She looked away, not meeting my eyes... but she kept her hand where it was.

Percy didn’t look thrilled at the prospect of my concert for some reason. Actually, he just generally seemed to wish I wasn’t there. I couldn’t blame him. I’d already noticed that there were only three Celedones, not four, and I remembered issuing a quest to Percy and Grover. He wanted a day off, and I’d ruined that.

“Great. So what’s the problem?” Percy said resignedly.

My godly self demonstrated the problem “Listen.” He commanded them to sing, just a single note. To me, their music sounded slightly empty. It needed that last singer. But to everyone else...

Percy and Grover stared at the automatons, enthralled. I caught Meg staring at them too, though she looked slightly less bewitched than the other two. Perhaps traveling with me had given her a more discerning ear?

A few moments later the girls slowly died down, releasing the mortals from their stupor. Percy stammered out “That... That was amazing.”

By his standards, sure, but by my godly self’s standards? “Amazing? There are only three of them! Their harmonies are empty. I can’t perform without the full quartet.”

Grover sobbed, “They’re so beautiful. They’re perfect!”

Maybe I should warn Grover away from the concert. I doubted that Juniper would appreciate how much her boyfriend seemed to adore the Celedones.

My past self seemed miffed that the mortals didn’t realize the problem. “They’re not perfect, Mr. Satyr.” I groaned. Seriously, he had a name! If you’re asking them for help, the least you could do is remember who you’re asking! “I need all four or the concert will be ruined. Unfortunately, my fourth Celedon went rogue this morning. I can’t find her anywhere.”

Percy seemed confused. “Uh... how does a backup singer go rogue?”

My godly self commanded the Celedones to sigh a depressing note, bringing the mood down.He explained, “They’re out of warranty. Hephaestus made them back for me in the old days, and they worked fine... until the day after their two-thousandth year warranty expired. Then naturally, WHAM! The fourth one goes haywire and runs off to the big city. Of course I tried to complain to Hephaestus, but he’s all Well, did you have my Protection Plus package? And I’m like, I didn’t want your stupid extended warranty! And he acts as if it’s my fault the Celedon broke, and says if I’d bought the Plus package, I could’ve had a dedicated service hotline, but-”

Ugh, I SWEAR Hephaestus does this kind of thing on purpose. He insists it’s coincidence, but after the fourth time something worked perfectly for thousands of years, then started malfunctioning within the week after the warranty expired, I stopped believing him.

Percy wasn’t interested in hearing the full story. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. So if you know that your Celedon is in the city, why can’t you look for her yourself?”

Because I was lazy and considered my time to be far more valuable than theirs, I silently replied. What my past self actually said however, was, “I don’t have time! I have to practice. Besides, this is what heroes are for.”

The look on Percy’s face as he muttered “Running the gods’ errands,” reminded me of how I had looked when Britomartis had demanded that Calypso and I go and fetch her griffins, and that that took priority over finding Georgina because she was a goddess, so her needs were more important than Jo’s or Emmie’s. When I’d wondered whether heroes were ever annoyed at ungrateful and had to restrain themselves, but I had dismissed the idea, not wanting to admit that it was probably the case. Enough had happened that I refused to delude myself any longer.

Percy muttered, “Running the gods’ errands,” resignedly.

“Exactly.”

No. That was NOT what heroes were for. I’d SEEN heroes fight for their friends... and die in place of them. Jason. Crest. Heloise. They were heroes. They’d fought until their last breath to protect the people they cared about. To see MYSELF treat heroes as errand boys, as mere servants to cater to the gods’ whims... I had a sudden urge to punch myself in my smiling, oblivious divine face.

Sadly, I could not. Apollo continued on, explaining the quest. “I assume the missing Celedon is roaming the Theater District, looking for a suitable place to audition. Celedons have the usual starlet dreams - being discovered, headlining a Broadway musical, that sort of thing. Most of the time I can keep their ambitions under control. I mean, I can’t have them upstaging me, can I? But I’m sure without me around she thinks she’s the next Katy Perry. You two need to get her before she causes any problems. And hurry! The concert is tonight, and Manhattan is a large island.”

Grover summarized the situation nicely, “So... you want us to find her, while you do sound checks?”

“Think of it as a favor. Not just for me, but for all the mortals in Manhattan.”

Well at least I hadn’t portrayed it as ME doing the favor of ALLOWING them to help me. I’d had THAT much awareness, at least.

Wait... for all the mortals? Why would it be a favor for...?

Oh.

Oh NO.

Grover realized at the same time I did. Had the same reaction too. “Oh. Oh NO...”

Grover looked completely terrified, a feeling that I had become well acquainted with over my past few months as a mortal. Terrified not for himself, but for the innocent humans just going about their day.

Percy still hadn’t caught on. “What? What oh no?”

“Percy, if that Celedon starts singing in public, in the middle of an afternoon rush hour-”

“She’ll cause no end of havoc,” my past self cut in. “She might sing a love song, or a lullaby, or a patriotic war tune, and whatever the mortals hear...”

This had gone beyond me just annoying some heroes and ruining Grover’s birthday. By not trying to get the Celedon back as soon as possible myself, I had endangered countless mortal lives, simply because I wanted to practice for a concert. If anyone had died or had been irreparably been injured because of my negligence, I’d never forgive myself. It would be just another thing to add to my list of mistakes.

At least I’d gone to some capable heroes. I might have ruined Grover’s birthday, but I didn’t have to worry about them having too much trouble. Grover and Percy were both very capable, they could easily handle a rogue singer.

“She has to be stopped. But why us?” Percy questioned.

Because you’re strong and you’re conveniently nearby, I wanted to answer. Instead my past self stated, “I like you!”

Yes, and if you REALLY liked them, you’d go away and retrieve her yourself. Sadly, I could be annoyed at my past self all I wanted. It didn’t change what had happened.

Of course, that wasn’t the ONLY reason I had gone with them...

“You’ve faced the Sirens before. This isn’t too different. Just put some wax in your ears. Plus your friend Grover is a satyr. He has natural resistance to magical music. Plus he can play the lyre.”

Well at least I bothered remembering Grover’s name this time. Hopefully I’d keep up that trend.

Percy seemed perplexed. “What lyre?”

My godly self summoned my personal lyre. I had created it after I gave my old one, the one Hermes had created when he ran off with my cattle, to Orpheus.

At least I was giving them some much-needed equipment to make things easier.

Grover realized the importance of what he held. “Oh! I couldn’t! This is your-”

“Yes. That’s my own personal lyre. Of course, if you damage it, I’ll incinerate you, but I’m sure you’ll be careful! You do know how to play the lyre, don’t you?”

...

really

REALLY?!

I just HAD to make that threat?

I’d hoped that I was only that much of a murderous asshole because I was so stressed, but NO, I just casually made those threats. They didn’t even want any part of this, I’d forced it on them!

Meg let go of my arm, turning to glare at me. I opened my mouth to try to talk to her, but we weren’t quite done with this scene.

Grover plucked a few notes, looking very, very uncertain. “Ummm...”

“Keep practicing. You’ll need the lyre’s magic to capture the Celedon. Have Percy distract her while you play.”

“Distract her,” Percy repeated, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing... or like he didn’t WANT to believe it, but knew he’d heard exactly right.

My godly self naturally either didn’t notice or didn’t care how Percy felt about all this. “Excellent! I’ll meet you at the Empire State Building at sunset. Bring me the Celedon. One way or another, I’ll persuade Hephaestus to fix her. Just don’t be late! I can’t keep my audience waiting. And remember, not a scratch on that lyre.”

My godly self disappeared. The world blurred. When it came back into focus, we were on a stage. My godly self began starting his sound checks. I took the opportunity to finally have a much-needed conversation with Meg. She still stood beside me, refusing to meet my eyes.

“Meg?” I ventured, asking as gently as possible. I didn’t want to scare or upset her more than I already had.

She stayed silent for a minute. Finally she mumbled something.

“What?” I asked, unable to hear her properly.

She mumbled a little more loudly this time. “The Beast.”

Huh? What did Nero have to do with this?

“What about the Beast?” I asked quietly.

She hesitated, picking her words carefully... as if she was afraid of the consequences if she didn’t.

“That... that was your Beast right, threatening our friends? You were holding him back. You stopped him from hurting them, right?”

No.

NO.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

My heart shattered.

I was NOT letting Meg go down that train of thought. I would NOT play Nero’s little game of pretend. Maybe she’d hate and fear me. But at least she’d know it was ME that was to blame, NO ONE ELSE.

I sat on the stage, trying to get down to Meg’s height to seem less imposing.

I looked her in the eye. “Meg. That was me. There is no Beast. There was NEVER a Beast. It was JUST. ME. I was being an idiot, a murderous, stupid, selfish idiot. Leo, Grover, Percy? They had done NOTHING wrong. NONE of them deserved my threats, deserved to think I might hurt them. What I said was WRONG, and I’m sorry. I can’t justify those threats. I won’t even try. Just know this; I WON’T do that again. If you ever thought I was going down that path - if you were EVER afraid that I was reverting to being that sort of asshole again, once I was a god - then contact Artemis. If by some miracle I regain my godhood, I’ll make sure you have some way to contact her, something more secure than an Iris message. I want you and the other mortals to feel SAFE around me, to know that I won’t hurt you. If you or any others still can’t trust me, that’s okay. You don’t have to forgive me for how I behaved in the past. Your trust is yours to give, and yours to withhold. You can take as much time as you wish, forever if you want to. I’ll still try to prove myself worthy of it.”

Meg looked back at me, emotions blurring across herself. Finally she scrunched up her face and looked at me, meeting my eyes this time. “You were stupid. But if you’re gonna be better now, then I think I can forgive you. But you need to apologize to everyone, and don’t do it again.”

I let out a sharp laugh as tears of relief sprang from my eyes. “Yes. Yes, I’ll do that. Next time we see Frank, Hazel, Leo, Percy, or Grover, I’ll do that.”

She hesitated for another moment. I waited. I wasn’t going to rush her.

“Would you have gone through with them? With your threats?”

I wanted to say no, of course not, I was just bluffing... but I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t think I would...

“No. No, I wouldn’t have,” I said at last. I sounded painfully unsure, even to myself.

Meg bit her lip and looked away again.

The world blurred again. It seemed that this part was on fast forward.

We reappeared at the park. Grover and Percy arrived a couple minutes later, looking bedraggled, but mostly unharmed.

“Excellent!” my godly self cried out, taking the caged Celedon from them. “I’ll get Hephaestus to fix her up, and this time I’m not taking any excuses about expired warranties! My show starts in half an hour!”

“You’re welcome,” Percy muttered. Yep, he definitely felt the same way I had after Britomartis had given me faint praise after retrieving her griffins.

I glanced at the lyre Grover was holding,and his fearful expression. There was a scratch on its side.

Oh no.

As Grover handed the lyre back to him, my godly self caught sight of the scratch. His expression turned angry and closed off. “You scratched it.” Meg went rigid again, breathing short shallow breaths. The air thickened with tension.

Grover whimpered “Lord Apollo-”. I resolved to buy him as many tin cans as he could eat and give him a long, LONG apology for this. Seeing him this scared of me, legitimately afraid that I would incinerate him, made me want to punch myself even more.

Luckily, Percy interfered before my godly self did something he couldn’t take back. “It was the only way to catch the Celedon. Besides, it’ll buff out. Get Hephaestus to do it. He owes you, right?”

A moment later, my past self grunted his agreement, his expression softening again. “I suppose you’re right. Well, good job, you two! As your reward, you’re invited to watch me perform on Mount Olympus!”

Meg’s breathing slowed down to a normal speed and her muscles loosened. I also relaxed a little. I hadn’t gone through with my threat. I hadn’t been that far gone, even then.

Grover and Percy glanced at each other, clearly wanting no part of that. I couldn’t see why. I might think that my past self was an asshole, but that didn’t stop me from being an asshole with superb musical skills.

Percy hurriedly found a way out of the invitation. “We aren’t worthy. We’d love to, really, but you know, we’d probably explode or something if we heard your godly music at full volume.”

All true - except for the ‘not being worthy’ part - but I could tell it was an excuse. My past self wasn’t nearly as perceptive. “You’re right. It might distract from my performance if you exploded. How considerate of you. Well, I’m off, then. Happy birthday Percy!”

Seriously? I BOUGHT that? Also, I STILL believed that it was Percy’s birthday? It’s not like his birthday was hugely significant to the fate of the world, OH WAIT.

Meg snorted out a small laugh. I was glad that at least she could find a little humor in my stupidity. At least I was good for SOMETHING.

I blinked, and we were both back at Camp Jupiter. I collapsed on the floor. That had been emotionally exhausting.

Meg sat a short distance from me, looking at her hands. “Hey,” I muttered quietly to her, still trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. “Let’s get up. I need to start making some apologies.”

She smiled slightly and stood up. Together we walked out of the tent to find our friends.

#trials of apollo #meg mccaffrey #lester papadopoulos #apollo #fanfiction #the trials of apollo #toa #leo valdez #percy jackson #grover underwood #blood of olympus #singer of apollo

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