#kimmy you idiot

[kimmie2me]

Hi hellooo<3 would it be alright to ask for something related to bunny izuku?💞

Soft Steps, Warm Gazes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Bunny!Midoriya Izuku x AFAB!Reader

…..

In the magical realm of Pristine Plains, where the sky gleamed with colors as vibrant as the world below, you lived in a cozy little cabin nestled between sun-dappled trees and winding cobblestone paths. Your home sat tucked under the watchful branches of an old willow, blooming wildflowers surrounding it in a burst of colors and soft scents. The ground was lush, warm underfoot even as you wandered between the garden beds, checking for ripe fruits and vegetables, their vibrant skins gleaming in the afternoon light.

Pristine Plains was a realm of endless wonders, home to all manner of creatures, each unique and astonishing. From dragons with scales that glistened like jewels to fae with wings iridescent as sunlight through stained glass—everyone here thrived in a harmony as delicate as it was beautiful. Your life was simple yet deeply fulfilling. Each morning, you picked the finest fruits and vegetables, arranging them in woven baskets outside your cabin, free for any traveler who might need a bite to eat.

Today, as you set a plump bunch of berries and bright tomatoes into a basket by your door, you noticed someone lurking at the edge of the trees. He wasn’t the usual traveler passing through, nor was he a neighbor coming to exchange stories and fresh goods. He was… well, adorable, really. A small bunnyfolk, standing half-hidden behind a tree trunk, with wide, emerald-green eyes that sparkled with curiosity and caution. His fur was a soft, dark green that glistened under the sunlight, almost like ivy in morning dew. He wore a simple tunic that matched the color of his fur, and his little nose twitched with what you could only assume was nerves.

You hadn’t seen him before, and you wondered what had brought him here. He seemed hesitant, shifting his weight from one foot to another, glancing repeatedly at the baskets of fresh produce beside your door. But despite his clear interest, he made no move to step forward.

So, you did what you always did for someone in need: you offered kindness.

With a soft smile, you carefully filled a small basket with some of the freshest goods—the fruits and vegetables you could tell he’d been eyeing the longest, the ones his gaze had lingered on. Strawberries, plump and red; a handful of shiny green apples; and a small bundle of leafy greens that you guessed might be a favorite for someone like him. You approached him slowly, your footsteps soft on the grass, not wanting to startle him.

He noticed you approaching, his long ears perking up in surprise, and his eyes grew even wider, if that was possible. His small, fuzzy hands went to his chest as if to steady himself, his nose twitching rapidly. But he held his ground, a hint of resolve in his gaze as he watched you with a mixture of curiosity and something else, something softer, that you couldn’t quite place.

“Hello there,” you greeted, your voice gentle. You held out the basket to him, keeping your movements slow and kind. “I noticed you watching. I thought you might be hungry.”

His gaze flickered from the basket up to your face, his cheeks turning a shade pinker, the color spreading to the tips of his ears. “Ah… I… I didn’t mean to… um…”

You waited patiently as he stumbled over his words, clearly flustered, his little hands fidgeting with the edge of his tunic. Eventually, he reached out, tentative, like he was afraid of somehow offending you by accepting the gift. When his fingers brushed the basket, you saw them tremble ever so slightly, as if this was something he rarely allowed himself to do.

“These are for… for me?” he asked in a soft voice, his emerald eyes glistening with genuine surprise.

“Yes, of course,” you reassured him, your smile warm and open. “Please, take them. I always have plenty, and it’s nice to share with someone who appreciates them.”

He took the basket into his arms, holding it close like it was something precious, his face softening with a look of wonder. His gaze met yours again, this time with something shy but deeply appreciative. “Thank you… I—really, thank you so much. I was just… passing by, but…” He paused, glancing down at the fruits in his hands, then back up at you, ears twitching slightly as he struggled to find his words. “I didn’t know if it would be… rude to ask.”

“Not at all,” you replied, heart warming at his thoughtfulness. “I’m always happy to help. Besides, you look like someone who deserves a nice meal.”

At this, he turned a shade darker, his cheeks nearly matching the strawberries you’d given him. He mumbled a shy “Thank you” again, his fingers toying with the stem of an apple, his eyes flitting from the basket to you and back again.

As he lingered there, you noticed his gaze repeatedly drifting to the cabin and the garden behind you, his curiosity clearly sparked. It was adorable, how he tried to be so polite even when his interest was obvious.

“Would you like to come inside?” you offered, stepping back a little to give him space, watching his expression brighten in surprise. “I just brewed some tea if you’d like to join me.”

“Oh! Oh, I—um, yes, that… that sounds… nice,” he stammered, nodding a bit too quickly, as if he’d been waiting for you to ask.

You guided him up the small cobblestone path, his little bunny steps soft behind you as he followed, clutching the basket close to his chest. Inside, your cozy cabin was filled with warm, earthy scents of dried herbs and flowers, shelves lined with small jars and woven baskets holding all sorts of fruits, vegetables, and dried petals. A small, crackling fire added a comforting glow, casting gentle shadows across the room.

He looked around with wide eyes, taking in every detail, his gaze darting from one corner of the cabin to another, as though he couldn’t believe he was really here.

“Please, make yourself comfortable,” you said, gesturing to a cushioned chair by the fire. He settled into it with a little wiggle, his face lighting up at the warmth of the hearth as he held the basket in his lap like a treasure.

As you poured tea into two delicate cups, he glanced shyly your way, the tip of one ear twitching. “I’ve… never met anyone like you before,” he admitted softly, his gaze fixed on his tea as though he was afraid to say it out loud. “You’re so… kind. I mean, it’s rare. I… I usually have to…”

His voice trailed off, and he shrugged, a bit sheepish.

You watched him, a gentle understanding in your smile. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here now. If you ever need anything, please feel free to visit. I have plenty to share.”

The bunny took a careful sip of his tea, glancing down shyly before finally gathering the courage to speak again. “Thank you again… for the food, and the tea… and, well, for all of this. I, um… I’m not used to people being so kind, you know?”

You tilted your head, a gentle understanding in your eyes. “That’s alright. It’s nice to share a meal with someone who appreciates it.” You extended your hand across the small wooden table. “I’m glad to meet you, really. My name is [Your Name].”

“Oh!” He set his tea down, quickly reaching out to shake your hand, his fingers soft and warm, and his touch delicate. “I-I’m Midoriya Izuku. You can just use my given name..if you want,” he said, his ears twitching in what seemed like both excitement and embarrassment. “I’m, well, a traveler… I like to explore and learn new things.” His green eyes brightened as he spoke, his nerves easing slightly. “Pristine Plains is so beautiful. I didn’t expect to meet someone as kind as you here, though.”

“I’m glad we met too, Izuku. It’s nice having a visitor who appreciates this place as much as I do. I’ve lived here my whole life, but it’s still so full of surprises.”

A small, surprised smile tugged at Izuku’s lips. “You must know every tree and flower in this place by heart, then?”

You laughed, a warm, gentle sound that made his cheeks turn even pinker. “Not every tree, but I’d like to think I know it well. I spend my days out here, tending to my plants and sharing what I grow with travelers. It’s a peaceful life.”

Izuku’s gaze softened, and he looked at you with a quiet reverence. “That’s… amazing, actually. So you’ve met a lot of people? I mean, all kinds, I bet.” He glanced down, ears twitching again as if suddenly self-conscious. “I hope… I mean, I hope you’ll let me come by again sometime?”

You smiled, nodding encouragingly. “Of course, Izuku. You’re welcome here anytime! I’d be happy to have a friend around.”

Izuku’s face brightened, and his expression softened with genuine gratitude. He took another sip of tea before glancing out the window, where the sun was beginning to sink, painting the skies in hues of lavender and gold. He sighed, a reluctant note in his voice. “I should probably head back before it gets dark. But… thank you. Truly. For the food, the tea, everything. I don’t know how to repay you.”

You waved a hand dismissively, shaking your head. “There’s no need. Just come by again, whenever you like.”

As he left, he turned back one last time, his face lit up by a grateful, almost reverent smile. “Thank you… for everything.”

.....

From then on, Izuku visited every day. Sometimes he’d bring you small gifts he’d collected on his journeys—crystals from nearby hills, feathers he found while wandering, and little tokens he thought you’d enjoy. Other times, he would spend hours helping you in the garden, his hands careful and his gaze admiring as he watched you work. He was good company, and soon, his visits felt like a natural part of your days, a friendship blossoming between the two of you.

One morning, you noticed Izuku was especially excited as he arrived, a glimmer of anticipation in his green eyes. “I was thinking… um, there’s a place I’d love to show you,” he said, his words rushing together with excitement. “It’s just beyond Pristine Plains, in a forest called Elkwood. I visit it sometimes when I need to clear my mind. But I think… you’d really like it there.”

Curiosity sparked within you, and you nodded eagerly. “I’d love to see it. Lead the way.”

Together, you made your way through Pristine Plains, the familiar paths soon giving way to denser trees as the two of you ventured into Elkwood Forest. The moment you crossed the threshold, you felt a subtle, gentle shift in the air, a kind of magic woven into the trees and the ground itself. It was as if the forest welcomed only those who carried kindness in their hearts, a feeling that wrapped around you like a warm embrace.

The trees in Elkwood were taller and grander than any you’d seen, their trunks wrapped in glowing moss and their leaves shimmering with a faint, silvery light. Flowers in colors you couldn’t name bloomed around you, their petals glowing softly under the dappled sunlight.

“Oh! Look over here!” Izuku called softly, pointing to a small group of fairies that flitted about in the air, their tiny, glowing wings leaving trails of golden light as they moved. They seemed curious, hovering close to the two of you before darting away with musical laughter.

As you wandered deeper into the forest, you came across a pond, its water so clear it looked like crystal, reflecting the magical surroundings like a mirror. Baby dragons splashed in the shallow end, their scales glimmering in shades of blue and green, their playful cries echoing across the water. You felt as if you’d stepped into a dream.

Izuku watched your expression with a fond smile. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he murmured. “Only those with true kindness in their hearts can pass through the border surrounding this part of the forest. That’s why… well, that’s why I thought you’d love it here.”

You turned to him, touched by the warmth in his words. “It’s beautiful, Izuku. Thank you for sharing this with me.”

He beamed, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “I’m just glad I could share it with someone who sees it the way I do. Most people don’t notice the little things, you know? Like how the flowers glow… or how you can hear the fairies singing if you listen carefully.”

The two of you sat by the pond, watching as the sun set behind the trees, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. The soft chirping of the forest creatures filled the air, and for a long time, you both just sat in peaceful silence, absorbing the magic of the forest.

As dusk settled, Izuku turned to you, his eyes reflecting the gentle glow of the forest. “Thank you for coming here with me. I… don’t have many friends, you know? And I… I’m grateful for you.”

Your heart warmed at his words, and you reached out, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m grateful for you too, Izuku.”

And as the stars began to twinkle above, you knew that this friendship—this bond—was something truly special, one that had grown from simple kindness and blossomed into something magical, as rare and beautiful as the forest around you.

[queencryo]

nothing in the world more unforgivable than a song whose instrumentation starts out really interesting before transitioning to music that is much less interestinf

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Yer' a pair of pests!

Here's another part of chaos fc!

Thank you @alotofpockets to help me out when i need it, big time!

I'm finding writing stuff like this the best thing right now as i can't handle much angst with the current situation i'm dealing with...

Anyways. I hope you enjoy!

pairings: kim little x reader, kyra cooney cross x reader, arsenal wfc x reader

summary: reader and kyra continue to cause mayhem on the trip in melbourne with katie falling victim of their latest prank

"KYRA!" You bolt through the room and literally throw yourself on the older girls back, which took her by complete surprise as you wrap your legs' round her and cling onto her.

You've been lucky enough to escape the watchful eyes of Kim and Steph, making a quick exit out of the room the minute that the press conference had ended, running in the direction of where the rest of the girls will be.

"Y/N/N!" The Australian girl exclaims just as enthusiastically, "Where'd you go?" She wonders.

"I told you that Mother Kimmy held me captive-- Ah, Kyra!" You squeal, taken by sudden surprise as you're body slammed to the ground all the sudden by your partner in crime.

"And the chaos resumes," Caitlin murmers, rolling her eyes as she watches the pair of you wrestle on the floor. "Girls, get up off the floor!"

"More like responsibility," Katie chuckle in amusement, shaking her head as she watches the chaos unfold with you two "kids" in the team.

"Kyra! Y/N! Break it up!" The older Australian girl continues to shout, trying to get in between the two of you to stop mucking about, "Can't you to ever behave? You're supposed to be adults, settling examples here!"

"This is entertainment at its' finest," Vic remarks, watching it from the side as she has her phone out to record it.

In fact, most of the girls had their phones out and where laughing while watching, meanwhile Caitlin still struggles to break it up between the two of you.

"Kyra! Y/N!" Caitlin shouts at the top of her voice, trying to tug your counter part away from brawling with you, "One of you is seriously going to get hurt in a minute!"

"What's going on?" Steph questions, hearing the commotion before she enters the room even though shes' not entirely aware of what's happening.

"Kyra and Y/N are fighting and Caitlins' trying to break it up," Alessia chimes in, motioning to what is happening between you and the two Aussie's.

"And failing," Teyah snickers before she goes to try and goad both of you to continue to play fight on the floor.

"Fighting?" Stephs' eyes widen in shock before she pushes her way forward and tries to take control of the situation, "What're you two playin' at? I swear to god its' like dealing with actual children!" She tries to take a hold of your upper bicep, but your too scrappy for her to successfully to that.

"What's going on?" Kim enters the room and narrows her eyes in your direction, "Y/F/N, get up from the floor, right now!" She bellows across the room to you.

Your smart enough to recognise your captains' voie and listen to what she's telling you to avoid any further direct scolding from her, "Ello there, Kimmy," You flash her an innocent smile, like you've not been causing no trouble.

"Enough trouble, go and get ready!" Kim states, firmly while motioning in the direction of where your own stuff is on the bench awaiting the open training session in front of all the fans.

"Don't know what yer even talkin' about there," You grin cheekily but still do as your told; Sure enough you're a troublemaker, but you know when to listen sometimes.

Your not a complete idiot.

Even if some others' might agree with that.

Following orders from your captain, you get ready to go and join the open training session as Kyra wanders over to sit beside you on the bench, "Did you do it?" You wonder.

"We did it," Kyra grins mischeviously, grabbing her top to shove it over her head.

"Told you we wouldn't let you down, eagle 1," One of the Academy players, Maddie chimes in as she wanders over near to the bench.

"Nicely done, Young Gun!" You state, playfully ruffling the girls' hair.

"Y/N!" You suddenly hear your captain shout aloud to get your attention.

Your quick to hold your hands up in mock surrender, "I-- I didn't do anything!" You insist.

"Quit muckin' around and get ready!" Kim states in a tone that leaves no room for objection, "And leave Maddie alone, don't be dragging her into none of your shenanigans!" She warns with a pointed finger in your direction.

"I-- What? I'm not tryin' to involve her in nothing," You try to justify yourself while resisting the urge to roll your eyes, "And I'm not even causin' any trouble!" You exclaim.

Kim keeps her eyes' on you as she looks at you sleptically, "That's the way its' going to stay, alright? I don't want to be havin' any more trouble from you today!" She all but demands, while you try and protest but you know with the luck shes' still giving you its' jus better to do as your told for once.

That still doesn't mean you won't be a brat about it.

"Borin'," You murmer, sitting down to shove your boots on.

"I heard that Y/N," Kim is quick to hear what you say straight away.

"Good, cos' you were meant too," You remark, playfully sticking your tongue out at the older Scots' women.

"Y/N! Would you stop!" Alessia shouts in frustration after shes' finally had enough of your antics.

"I didn't do out Lessi," You hold your hands up in surrender and try play your innocence.

"Yes you did-- You keep on trying to trip me up!" The older blonde states, glaring at you.

In your defence, you did aim to try and stay of trouble, but it's not always easy and before you know it, you're bored once more and actively causing chaos again.

In this case, it was trying to see how many times you could purposely trip Alessia up before she got annoyed with you.

"What's going on?" Katie calls over to where your stood irritating the older girl with the help of your trusty sidekick of course.

The uproar of course catches the attention of a few of the older players as they look over to see what's going on in the middle of the training session on the pitch.

"Y/N's being a menace," Alessia snitches on you straight away.

"When isn't she?" Teyah chimes in as she laughs in amusement 

"I'm not even doin' anything!" You exclaim, trying to make it seem like your being a complete angel.

Vic can't help but laugh as she walks past, "You're always up to something," She comments.

"Y/N, knock it off!" Kim sends a pointed look in your direction, not even needing to say anything further as you slump your shoulders in defeat to being scolded once again.

"The fox is entering the building," Mini Viv rushes into the locker room ahead of the American after the training session takes place to let you know so you can be ready with the can of silly string that you'd managed to somehow convince Teyah to get for you.

Sometimes you forget that your both the same age.

Oh well.

"Shes' coming! Shes' coming! Shes' round the corner!" Mini Katie burts through the door, after you had her keep a look out for your next target to prank.

"Good work, Young Gun!" You grin at the 17-year-old and turn to Kyra whos' of course been pulled into your scheming mischief, "It's show time," You share a sly grin with the Aussie girl, stood up on the benches in the locker room as you get ready to fire at your target.

"Lets' cause mayhem," Kyra states, more than eager to get the American like the plan is to do.

"Girls-- Ah! What the fuck?!" The two of you fire your silly string in the direction of the player who you thought was Emily, however, you're severly wrong when you realise its' someone completely different.

"Oh shit," Kyra mumbles in realisation, dropping the can straight away.

"Oh shit," You repeat, your eyes widen in realisation of how much trouble you'd be in now.

It wasn't Emily, but instead it was your fellow Irish team mate, Katie McCabe.

Oops?

"Hey, Katie. Are you-- What the hell happened in here?" Steph wanders into the locker room and her eyes widen seeing the scene in front of her as she takes in the Irish girl covered in silly string while you and Kyra look guiltier than ever.

"We thought it was Emily!" Kyra is the first to spill.

"We didn't... We didn't realise you were gonna walk through the door first!" You try and defend yourself, despite how much trouble you knew you would be in.

"What the--" Caitlin walks into the locker room and furrows her eyebrows, confused.

"What's going on?" Emily just happens to walk into the locker room with Alessia and looks around in confusion.

"We thought it was gonna be you!" Mini Viv exclaims.

"Yeah, you were supposed to walk in. Where'd you go?" Mini Katie pouts, realising that the prank had completely failed.

"You girls are dead," Katie seethes, although its' hard to try and not laugh at her when shes' covered in multicoloured silly string.

"Whoops?" You question, flashing her an innocent smile to try and get yourself out of trouble.

"Come 'ere, you little--" Katie lunges at you as your eyes' widen and you try to bolt out of the locker room, but its' blocked off by the one person you didn't want to see walking through it.

"What an earth is going on?!" Kim all but shouts aloud as she takes in the pure chaos in the locker room; The current situation being that Katie is trying to chase you around the room.

Meanwhile, Kyra is being held captive between the two older Aussie girls' who are giving her a grilling about it.

"I didn't do out-- Kimmy, save me from her!" You try and escape in the direction of the Scots' women, making out like your non the wiser of the reason of what happened, "Katies' mad at me for no reason!"

"Yes I am you little shit-- Come 'ere!" The Irish girl still tries to grab a hold of you as Kim at least has some decency to shield you from her wrath.

"Alright, that's enough. Katie, back off!" Your captain tells the brunette firmly, giving that she reluctantly gives in and goes back to her own cubby in annoyance, all while you can't resist the urge to smirk at her until of course Kim looks at you, "And you, what have I told you about causing any more trouble! Silly strong, really, Y/N?" She scolds you.

"I didn't do out, you have no proof it was us," You innocently shrug your shoulders and try to act like butter wouldn't melt while under your captain's gaze.

It doesn't do much to work though.

"I'm not blind, Y/F/N! You sit there, right now and don't even think about moving!" Kim tells you in a firm voice, pinching the bridge of her nose as she gestures to the bench in front of her own cubby instead of yours.

"Oooof, you're in trouble," Kyra taunts you from the other side of the room.

"Kyra!" Steph gives the younger Australian a pointed look.

"Now whos' in trouble," You remark loud enough for others to hear still.

"Y/N!" Kim continues to stare at you with a look that could definitely kill given the chance, "Sit down. Now!"

"Party pooper," You huff and slump down onto the bench, awaiting whatever lecture you're bound to get from the Scots' women given the prank you'd pulled.

In your opinion, it's still definitely worth it even if you are trouble and boy did you know you're in hot water now.

But still very much worth it.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[pitchsidestories]

The Beautiful Game II Lia Wälti x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3754

a/n: based off this request here. We hope you enjoy this one, we definetly did while writing it ! ❤️

“How many times do we have to tell you Lee that this cap is not working as undercover outfit?”, Lia Wälti clicked her tongue. She and a few of her Arsenal teammates were on their way to meet the girls school football team, you and your best friend Jenna coached together.

Pouting Leah Williamson folded the arms across her chest:” Leave me alone. I love my flat cap.” “Aswell as your grandpa shoes.”, Laura Wienroither kept teasing. Grinning the English defender elbowed her playfully: “You’re just jealous.” “Yes, we just know what’s cozy.”, Kim Little tuned in as she loved them as much as the younger player did. 

Cheekily Leah turned to face her friend:” Don’t you have some leaves to rake up anyway, Wally?” “First, I promised to say hi to my girlfriends’ team.”, the Swiss midfielder reminded them why they came to visit in the first place.  

As if Kim was reading her thoughts she said to the blonde defender: “That’s why we’re here, Leah.” “I know, Kimmy.”, Leah rolled her eyes at her. Clearing her throat the Arsenal Captain replied:” Just saying. Lia, you go first, it’s your girlfriend.”

Warmly Jenna greeted the brunette:” Lia, hi.” “Hi.”, Lia beamed at her and you.  Delighted you told her: “The girls are so excited to meet you, love.” “I hope you didn’t make too big of a deal out of it.”, she laughed. Innocently your best friend shook her head:” No.”

“Great undercover look, Lee.”, you winked at the blonde who was one of the closest friends of your girlfriend. Relieved about your words, she answered: “Thanks. The others gave me shit for it.”

One of your girls, Hazel who was wearing a white bow in her brown hair exclaimed cheerfully:” Girls, this is Leah Williamson!”  “Oh, here we go.”, Kim groaned in frustration while the little footballers quickly surrounded England’s captain. Excited Leah waved at all of them:” Hi girls.”

“Do you want to show them what we practiced?”, you asked your players. Curious Lia glanced at you:” You practised something?” You nodded with a deep smile on your face: “Yes. Hazel, Daisy, do you want to go first?” “Yes!”, Daisy shouted back motivated by the presence of the Arsenal players.

As they were showing their football skills in front of the women who played professionally, Leah looked at them in admiration: ”Oh my god, that’s so cool.” “Impressive.”, Leah commented equally fascinated.

With a shy smile Hazel went to the grown-up teammates:” Can we play with you.” “Sure. Let’s go.”, Leah clapped into her hands before pulling out her football boots ready to join the little girls in their play.

You watched from the sidelines as the girls ran around the field with the injured Laura cheering from the side. Lia snuck up next to you, putting her hand around your waist; “You and Jenna are doing a great job here, love.“

“Thanks, Lia.“ You turned your head towards your girlfriends for a quick kiss. Amy, one of the youngest in the team, pointed at the two of you; “Ewww, Wally kissed Coach!“

“Girls can kiss girls too, idiot!“, Daisy yelled back at her, her dark ponytail swinging angrily from side to side. “Yes, don’t be weird about it. Love is love!“, Hazel agreed.

Amy rolled her eyes in an exaggerated way; “Ugh, I know that. But kissing is ew.“ You stifled a laugh, not sure if you should scold or be proud of your young players.

Kim ruffled Amys messy blonde hair; “I found that ew at your age too.“ “You did?“, Amy asked with big eyes. The Arsenal captain nodded gently; “Yes, you’re still young. That’s okay.“ “You should come play with us.“, the little girl suggested, tugging on Kims sleeve and pulling her with her back to the others.

Lia grinned at you; “I think they like the girls.“ “And the girls like them.“, you added, your eyes on the scene in front of you. “It’s cute.“ Jenna interrupted you, bumping you with her elbow; “Stop looking at them like that.“

“Like that?“, you repeated, hoping that your assistant coach would elaborate. Instead, she shook her head; “You know.“ “Jen!“, you exclaimed. “What?“ “Girls? I invited your team to our next game.“, Leah yelled over from the other side of the pitch.

Daisy cheered in excitement; “It’s going to be amazing!“ You watched Jennas face drop; “Wait, what?“ “You did?“, you also asked, caught somewhere between surprise and confusion. The defender beamed; “Yes, they are so excited.“

Jenna gave Leah a murderous glare before turning towards you in exasperation; “Oh, we’re f-… How do we explain that to their parents?“ Hopeful that this situation can be solved, you shrugged; “We’ll find a solution.“

“Please, we want to go!“, Hazel begged, trying her best attempt at puppy eyes. “Don’t worry, we’ll make it happen. I promise, Hazel.“, you assured the young girl somewhat confident.

She nodded and proposed; “We can talk to our parents too.“ Laura smiled at the group of girls; “We’d love to see you there.“ “We’ll be there. Somehow.“, Jenna sighed in defeat. Lia pressed another quick kiss on your temple; “Can’t wait.“ “Promise.“, you winked at her.

Weeks later, you and Jenna were headed to the Emirates Stadium, followed by your group of young footballers. Impatiently, Amy jumped up and down; “We need to hurry up or we’ll be late!“ “Amy, it’s fine. We won’t be late!“, Jenna reminded for the third time and heaved an annoyed sigh.

“We’re right on time.“, you explained as you entered the stadium. Even Daisy began to get nervous; “Are you sure?“ You nodded as you lead them to their seats; “Yes.“ The girls went suspiciously quiet, only letting out a few gasps at the sight of the pitch. Hazels eyes lit up in awe; “Wow, that’s huge!“

Baffled Daisy turned her head to face your girlfriend:” And you really play here?” “We do.”, Lia nodded.  Excited Amy cheered:” That is so cool!” “It’s, right?”, Leah beamed at the sight of the overjoyed girls. Big eyed Daisy agreed: “It is! It’s so big.”

“I didn’t know girls could play in such big stadium.. I mean the lionesses yes but another girls team.”, Amy mumbled deeply impressed by the size of her surroundings. Next to her Hazel dreamed out loud:” Maybe we can be here too one day!” “That would be awesome.”, her friends admitted.

A big smile was on your lips while you told them:” Everything is possible.” “Feel at home girls. We got to go warm up.”, your girlfriend said softly. Grinning Amy wished her good luck. “Thank you.”, Lia replied, waving at them before joining her teammates for the warmup session.

Delighted, you shouted after her: “See you later.” The way the Swiss woman interacted with the children you were coaching warmed your heart which didn’t got unnoticed by your best friend who pointed that out:” I saw that.”

“What?”, you asked blushing even though you knew exactly to what she was referring to.  Amused she threw her eyebrows up: “That look.” “She’s my girlfriend how am I supposed to look at her?”, you wanted to know playing innocently with your hair. With a dirty grin Jenna answered:” Not like that.” “Oh, please.”, you laughed. 

You let out a relieved sigh when Hazel announced:” The game start!”  Drawing back the attention on them made you get away from the teasing of your friend. Clearing your throat, you changed the topic to a lighter theme:” Right, do you have a favourite player, girls?”

“Kim Little!”, Amy was the first to answer, remembering her lovely meet up with the Arsenal captain. You gave her a knowing look:” She made quite an impression on you during our training, right, Amy?” “Yes. She’s so nice.”, the blonde girl declared. Humming Daisy continued:” I like Leah the most.”

“That’s a great choice too who do you like Hazel?”, you curiously glanced at the girl who wore a red bow for the game today.  With a tone of deep admiration, she confessed:” I like all of them.”  “Yes, they are a great team like you girls.”, you winked at them.

That was the moment Jenna decided to tease you again:” Now ask your coach who her favourite player is.” “Oh, that’s easy.”, Amy rolled her eyes at that question, the answer seeming too obvious for her to say out loud.

Much more motivated Hazel chirmed:” It’s Wally!” “Yes, they are so cute!”, Daisy added giggling. In disgust, Amy wrinkled her nose: “No, they’re ew.”  “Amy stop being such a hater.”, Hazel elbowed the younger one playfully. 

The cheeks of Amy turned hot red:” I’m not. Only when they kiss.” “Same.”, Jenna agreed with her. Laughing you told them:” You two made that very clear.” “Good.”, the young girl seemed satisfied with your reaction. “Rude.”, you replied but you couldn’t really be mad at her.

Hazel interrupted your discussion, bouncing up and down while she pointed towards the pitch; “They scored! You missed the goal!“ “No, we didn’t!“, Amy protested loudly. “Yes, you did!“

While Hazel was still trying to prove her point, the stadium erupted in cheers again. “They scored another one!“, Daisy commented, her eyes big with excitement. Hazel stood up on her seat to get a better view of Alessia Russo; “That was so cool!“ “A pretty goal, right?“, Jenna agreed while pulling the girl back onto her seat. Hazel nodded; “I want to try that in training.“ “We can do that.“, you promised. “Good.“

With a shrug, you suggested; “Maybe Lessie can show you girls at some point.“ “Can she come visit us too?“, the girls asked impatiently. You tilted your head with a wink; “I’ll ask her, okay?“ “Okay.“ “I’m sure she’ll come.“, Jenna said, smirking at you.

You were grateful that the girls’ attention was mostly on the football game. “Another goal!“, Amy announced happily. Daisy raised her arms in the air, almost hitting Hazel in the process; “Yeay!“ Jenna leaned over towards you; “At least your girls team is winning. Imagine if we came here with the girls and Arsenal lost. I wouldn’t want to dry all those tears.“

Her eyes widened like she was horrified by the thought alone. You glanced at your players; “Yes, you’re right about that. But their eyes are sparkling right now.“ “I’m just surprised that they can sit still for that long.“, Jenna remarked, watching the young girls with a wrinkled nose. “They never do during training when you try to teach them tactics.“, you grinned back at her.

Jenna sighed in annoyance; “One day I’ll get them to understand what I want from them.“ “I’m sure you’ll.“, you nodded politely but failed to suppress a smile. “I’ll take the girls home after the game. You can go with your girlfriend.“, your assistant coach smoothly changed the topic. You looked at her in surprise; “Are you sure?“ “Sure.“

“Thank you, Jenna.“, you thanked her which she only acknowledged with a raised eyebrow; “You owe me.“ “What do you want?“, you laughed. With a shrug, Jenna replied; “I’ll tell you when I need something.“ “Okay.“ Her eyes were trained back on the football pitch when she casually mentioned; “Maybe I’ll ask you to set me up with one of the players.“

Your jaw dropped and you turned towards her, your face caught in a state between shock and laughter; “With who?“ “I don’t know. I was just joking.“, Jenna grimaced, obviously weirded out by your excitement. You slapped her on her upper arm; “Man, I thought you were serious!“

Your friend shook her head at you; “You would have wanted to set me up? Our little girls wouldn’t allow that.“ “Only Amy wouldn’t allow it.“, you rolled your eyes with a smile. “Yeah, probably.“, she had to agree. “See?“ Jenna gave you one more disapproving look; “Oh stop it. I’m not going out with one of the Arsenal players. That’s ridiculous.“

“Why not?”, you kept asking innocently. Jenna tried to shrug it off:” I’m not dating a football player.” “That’s what I said too and when Lia stepped into my life.”, you thought out loud with a nostalgic tone. A small smile crept onto the other woman’s lips:” That’s something different.” “Is it?”, you raised an eyebrow.  

Amused she shook her head:” Focus on the game, girl.” “Lia scored!”, you interrupted her blushing.  Dreamily Daisy sighed: “Only for you. That’s so romantic.”  “Ew, disgusting.”, Amy wrinkled her little nose. Enthusiastically Hazel disagreed:” No, she threw a heart at her direction.”

And indeed, Lia did that little gesture which melted your heart. Meanwhile Amy repeated herself:” Yes, disgusting.” “Some things will never change, right Amy?”, you laughed. Now giggling too, the small girl nodded in agreement:” Never.”

After the match ended Jenna was looking at your girls:” Come on girls time to go home.” “Already?”, Hazel pouted, she didn’t want this fantastic day of football to end anytime soon, the air still tasted sweet from Arsenal’s win.

Concentrated your friend was careful to lead them to the exit of the stadium: “Yes, let’s go.” “See you, tomorrow!”, you said your goodbye to them.  Smiling Jenna turned around:“See you.”  “Tell the Arsenal girls they played great!”, Daisy shouted grinning.  You replied quickly:“I’ll, promise.” “Now move, girls.”, your friend said to them.

Swooning Hazel answered:” I’d love to be her.” “No, you don’t. Let’s go.”, Jenna pleaded.  Disgusted Amy reminded her: “Honestly they must smell bad right now.” “You smell bad.”, Hazel rolled her eyes. “Jenna, she said I smell bad!” “No one smells bad and if anyone says that again, I’ll make sure you smell bad for weeks.”, their coach groaned.

Still beaming from the win Lia greeted you: “Hi, where are your girls?” “Jenna offered to take them home alone.”, you explained to your girlfriend. The brunette seemed happy about those news:“That’s nice of her.” “She asked me to do her a favour in the future.., so is someone single in your team?”, you wanted to know from her. A crooked smile lit up her face:” You want to set her up.” “Maybe.”, you played with a string of your hair which escaped your neat ponytail.

Lia who loved to play matchmaker answered: “I’ll ask around.” “Thank you.”  “Did you enjoy the game?”, the brunette changed the topic swiftly. “I did. The girls loved watching the game too.”, you reassured her.

As you mentioned them the eyes of your girlfriend sparkled:” That’s great. I’m happy they liked it here.” “Your goal and celebration for it was amazing.”, you winked at her. Delighted she confirmed:” I don’t usually score goals so that was a great coincidence that I did today.”

 “It was really sweet.”, Laura Wienroither interrupted your conversation smiling.  The Swiss glanced at her:“Thanks, Laura.” “You’re welcome.”, the younger player responded. Hopeful Lia turned back to face you: Can you wait? I’m just taking a shower quickly and then we can go?” “Sure.”, you agreed.

“I’ll hurry up.“, Lia promised, turning around to disappear into the dressing rooms. “Please!“, you called after her.

Your waiting was significantly shortened by Leah walking towards you; ”Hey!“ “Lee, hi.“, you pulled her into a quick hug. “Did you like it?“, the defender asked. “Yes, why?“ “Just asking.“ You shook her head, knowing that the football player had some kind of ulterior motive for her questions; “Leah, tell me.“ “I was genuinely curious if you and your team liked the game.“, she shrugged in response.

Moved by the thought of how happy your players were to see their idols filling out a stadium, you smiled; ”They did, it was so cute.“ “We have something for the girls.“, Leah finally admitted. “You do?“, you asked softly.

The defender pulled a red Arsenal jersey out of her sports bag and held it up for you. The back was covered in signatures. “We all signed this. You can hang it up in your dressing room or something.“, she explained.

You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from getting too emotional about this thoughtful gesture. Gratefully, you took the jersey from her; “Thank you, Lee. The girls will love it.“ Leahs face was lit up by a smile; “You’re welcome.“ “Appreciate it.“ “Lia is done.“, Leah remarked as her team mate appeared next to her, freshly showered and her hair still damp. You waved at the remaining players; “Perfect. See you, girls.“ “Let’s go home.“, Lia suggested with a yawn.

As soon as you arrived, you carefully took the jersey out and placed it on your desk; “I can’t wait for the girls to see the jersey you all signed.“ Lia dropped her bag and appeared right behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist; “It was a cute idea, right?“ “Definitely.“, you agreed, turning towards your girlfriend so you could kiss her cheek. “Leah came up with it.“

“I already thanked her.“ Lias eyes searched for yours; “If your team needs anything, we could help out.“ With a sigh, you removed yourself from her embrace; “I know. There’s still so much to do until the girls get equal opportunities to play that game..“ “But they have better chances than we did. That makes me incredibly happy.“, Lia responded truthfully. You nodded; “Me too. Also I love working with Jen.“

A smile tugged on Lias lips; “I can tell.“ “Also who knows, maybe one of them will become a future lioness.“, you continued enthusiastically. “That would be great.“, your girlfriend agreed. “Jenna would never stop bragging about it.“ Lia sceptically raised an eyebrow; “You wouldn’t either!“

“Yes, true.“, you smiled but a thought rushed trough your brain, making the smile fade far too quickly. “I saw how you looked at the girls…“, you started. The midfielder didn’t seem to follow you. She frowned; “How did I look at them?“ “Like you wished one of them was yours.“ There was silence between the two of you. Lia blinked a few times; “What? No…“ “No?“, you echoed. “I don’t know.“ Taken aback, you apologized; “Sorry… maybe I completely misread it.“

“No. I wasn’t aware that I was doing that.”, the brunette mumbled stunned. Confused you replied: ”You weren’t?” “No.”, she emphasized her answer. You couldn’t think about anything adequate to say so your lips only formed an ,oh’.  

Quickly Lia added: “I’m sorry.” “No, I’m just disappointed you didn’t say anything about wanting children.”, you said to her. Thrown off by your sentence the midfielder asked:” Who says I want children?” “Your eyes.”, you pointed out. The Swiss whispered:” That doesn’t make any sense. It’s stupid to even think about it.” “It’s not.”, you countered seriously.

Nervously Lia went through her hair with one hand:” I’m still playing, and you have your team.” “I’m sure we could make it work if that’s what you wanted.”, you reassured her. Helplessly the brunette bit her lip:” I don’t know. Would you want that?” “I do.”, you announced, your heart beating fast as you told her the truth. 

Slowly your girlfriend realized what you were trying to express all along:” That’s why you asked. You want children.” “Yes, and what do you want, Lia?”, you asked her in return. Her tone changed into something more hopeful:” I do want children. I just didn’t seem feasible.” “Maybe it’s now.” The kiss you exchanged was like a promise to something you both had the desire for but were too afraid to speak out until now.

A bit over a year later you and Lia were mums to a little girl. You even took her to the training of your girls’ team. Annoyed Amy threw her hands up in the air:” She can’t play yet, Jenna.” “Stop it, Ames. Of course she can.”, Jenna told her off.

The little girl wasn’t impressed by her answer: “She’s a baby.” “And? You can’t start early enough.”, her coach shrugged her shoulders. Grinning Daisy continued:” Plus she’s Wallys kid so it’s in her DNA.” “You don’t even know what DNA is.”, Hazel teased her. “Of course I do!”, she protested.

Softly you interrupted them before this could escalate into a proper fight:” Girls, focus on the game.” It seems like your toddler heard it because she kicked the ball into the goal. Baffled Amy was the first to speak:“That was pure luck.” “It’s talent.” Jenna whistled.

Proudly Lia told the blonde defender after her training:” Lee, our little girl scored today.” “Your girl can’t walk yet.”, Leah replied amused. Delighted Steph declared:” She can play football before she can walk.” “She’s Wally’s daughter. She can do everything.”, Laura added. Smiling Alessia nodded:” Yes, she’s a smart cookie.”

“I want to see that before we get too excited.”, Leah tried to calm down her teammates. Beaming Lia played the video in front of her friends:” Here Jenna filmed the big moment.” “Not bad. That’s going to be a good football player.”, the England captain admitted. “Right?” “Of course.”, Laura chirmed.

“Alright, girls. I got to go and pick them up.”, Lia announced, pocketing her phone. Before she left, Leah called after her; “Okay, bring them to our next training.”

As Lia arrived at your football pitch, Daisys voice echoed across the grounds; “Wally!” “Hi, girls.”, she smiled and let your players embrace her in a group hug. “Hello.”, Hazel mumbled into the midfielders side. Your girlfriend looked up and met your gaze from the other side of the pitch.

You both smiled at each other. “How was training?”, Lia asked. “Someone was trying hard to impress.”, Amy rolled her eyes. Jenna raised an eyebrow at the blonde girl and explained; “She means your daughter. She was not happy with the performance.” “Oh, really?”, Lia laughed.

Nodding, Jenna confirmed; “Really.” The girls were slowly letting go of Lia when you walked over at them, carrying your daughter. “Hi, Lia.”, you greeted her. She leaned over to first kiss you on the cheek before she carefully pressed her lips to her daughters head; “Hi, love.” “We‘re ready.”, you smiled. Taking the toddler from you, Lia suggested; “Let‘s go home.”

Your football team watched as the three of you left the football pitch together. “Goodbye, you three!”, Jenna called after you. You waved at her one last time. Simultaneously, Amy tugged on her coaches shirt; “Jen?” “Yes?”

“Maybe it‘s not that disgusting.“, the girl concluded, tilting her head pensively while she watched on as Lia wrapped her arm around your waist and gently brushed her lips against yours. Jenna remained silent and smiled softly.

[harleehazbinfics]

I like to think that with the cannibal chef overlord spin off that Chef has a 5 star restaurant and it’s Hell’s Kitchen (love that show) and when she’s not with Alastor or the others she’s kinda like Gordon with her employees (btw the souls she owns) idk I think that would be so funny!

Like Alastor sees her working and yelling at everyone and he just has heart eyes 😍

A moment in Hell's Greatest Kitchen [Cannibal Chef!Reader Spin-off]

a/n: ngl, i loved writing this. thank you for the ask!

Cannibal chef! reader m.list | Author profile

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! CAN'T YOU PREPARE A SIMPLE MEAL?"

I flinch at the sound as I almost cut my finger from chopping the vegetables. I peeked out of lashes to see my boss cussing out my co-workers while they cooked sweating profusely from the heat and the insults being thrown at them.

"EVERYONE CLEAN YOUR STATIONS! IT LOOKS LIKE A GODDAMN PIGSTY HERE. I'M RUNNING A RESTAURANT, NOT SOME ESTABLISHMENT WHERE YOU BRAIN DEAD LITTLE PIGGIES CAN SHIT IN."

I immediately threw my peels in the bin and wiped the counter then placing my knives back to their drawer.

This was my boss. Hell's largest Cannibal Overlord, (y/n). Aside being a household name in hell to be wary of, she was also a well-respected chef. I idolized her even before we died. I lived during her era and even got the opportunity to work in her restaurant when we were alive. It was tough to get in and work with her, but it was tougher to stay there. Thankfully, luck was on my side to work with her for 6 years before her death.

She was as mean as she was before, however, I do get jumpy at loud noises. She was tough on us, prioritizing the customer's satisfaction and cleanliness around the

Even after she was outed as a cannibal and was executed I devoted myself to her and followed after her. Which led me here.

"You! Daniel! Pick up the pace! Table's 5 and 10 are done with their appetizers," she yells at me making me flinch and nod.

"Yes, chef!" I replied making her give me a nod of acknowledgement. i blush while doing my duties as I replay her calling my name in my head. 'She remembers me!' I scream giggling in my head.

"Pardon me. I apologize for getting in your way," the tall red deer demon apologizes after bumping into me, I nod dismissing it and stirred the pot I already seasoned.

He gives me a tight-lipped smile and walks forward to a corner to avoid getting in our way. He stares at Chef (y/n) with adoring eyes and a large smile as she pinched a sinner by the ear and twisting it then screaming on it. Which the red hair only gives out a dreamy sigh.

That was Alastor, the Radio Demon. He and my boss had a very special relationship, it's quite intimate from what I've seen. From what I heard, Alastor approached Chef (y/n) and submitted his soul to her, and from then on, they were inseparable. Chef had a soft side when it came to him, she'd latch on to him and lean on him even often baby talking to him. It had us all stunned when she first introduced Alastor to us, her change in demeanor was very telling she liked him a lot.

So, whenever we were in a pinch.

"Uh! Chef! Sir Alastor is here!" another sinner tells her, in an attempt to save our co-worker.

You then turn to the direction they pointed and skipped towards the deer, "Alastor, honey!" she greets before giving him a kiss.

The sinners in the back on their knees thanking the Radio Demon for saving their asses.

"Good morning, madam," he greets holding onto her waist, "A lively morning, isn't it?"

"It's better now with you around," (y/n) coos as she snuggles deeper into his embrace.

And this is how every morning in Hell's Kitchen. Gore, Food and Love.

🔗Cannibal Chef! Reader Taglist:

@bonnie-02 @marxo5 @whaatttlaufey @froggybich @rybunnie @midorichoco @lucifers-silhouette @kimmis-stuff @bontensbabygirl @janey @akiqvq @wonderlandangelsposts @spoiled-slutt @roboticsuccubus83 @atlas-rin @yuriohoe04 @azullynxx @milk-bulb @hahalame @aria-tempest @speedycoffeedelight @0strawberrysorbet0 @amitiel-truth @corvid007 @kaminarithebest @enby-goblin @whydosnakesnotdance @wtvbabes @willow404 @psychoanalyze0 @sweetadonisbutbetter @manachpo @dionysusismypatrongod @obessivlyonline

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

Hi! I love your writing. I am a new Niall stan and am currently playing catch up and your blog has been great for that.

Anyway, I was hoping I could request Niall x reader kissing while watching fireworks? Thank you!

On A Night Like Tonight

(First of all: Allow me to welcome you to the fandom lovely!!! Second of all: Thank you so much for requesting!!! Third of all: THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING!!! I hope you enjoy!

Summary: It’s your 3 year anniversary and Niall has big plans for the night.

“Niall! Where are you taking me?!”

He laughs and continues to slowly push me forward, his hands gripping my shoulders so guide due to the blindfold he insisted I wear.

“Relax, Petal! We’re almost there! Just hold on a little longer. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

I groan and slow my footsteps, the only thing guiding me was the feeling of the grass on my feet. He walk for a few more yards and he finally stops.

“Okay Y/N. Are you ready?”

“Yes! Please! I want this thing off!”

He laughs and removes my blindfold, and I let out a gasp. In front of me lies a large blanket with a picnic basket, my favorite foods lying all over the blanket. I turn to Niall, tears threatening to spill.

“W-What’s this for..?”

He smiles and pecks my lips softly.

“Happy anniversary Petal…”

I smile and hug him tight, Niall wrapping his arms around my waist in return.

“You so over did it! You didn’t have to do all this!”

He laughs and shakes my head, saying nothing more as he drags me down the field and to the blanket he had set up. We sit down and he pours me a glass of champagne and hands it to me before pouring his own.

We start to eat and talk and after awhile, it grows dark and the stars become clear. We lay down and cuddle up, watching the stars in the sky when all of a sudden, there’s a loud boom of a firework. My whole body jumps and Niall laughs.

“What the actual-.”

“Calm down, Petal! It’s all good! Just keep watching.”

I roll my eyes and lay back down, now watching the fireworks, a small smile on my face. That is until I realize that the fireworks are spelling out something.

“Will.. You.. Marry.. Me… Niall- are you serious?!”

When I turn to him, he’s sitting up, a ring box in his hand. I sit up, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

“Marry me Y/N… I love you. I have for a long time and I’ll continue to love you. I don’t want another day without you. I want kids, I want everything. With you…”

I start to cry, no doubt ruining my mascara as I wrap my arms around him tightly.

“Yes you idiot! Of course I will!”

He laughs and hugs me tight. We pull away after a minute and he slips the cold ring on my finger before placing a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away and we lay back down, the fireworks in the sky now flashing even brighter. We cuddle up and he holds me close, and I know, it won’t be the last.

>>>———————————->

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed! Hopefully I’m out of my funk! Please like and reblog!

Tag list

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies @kaminokatie @harrysmimi @violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @rafaaoli @kimmi-kat @erggggggggg @cayleyhannha-blog @acesofspadess @that-mcu-fan @styles-barnes-bitch @purple9950 @itslottiehere

[hoohoobeanie]

this goes out to @tommybones bcos arthur said he wants a little plts lore drop (and hes right it will help me get the ball rolling on writing again)

so here are little details abt pretty like the sun (spommy college au) to entice you guys and help me with writing again:

spencer is a film major and tommy is a theatre major. they run in different social circles but have lots of mutual friends

spencer has been friends with courtney since high school and they ended up at the same college

courtney and arasha have been dating since the first month of college. arasha and spencer become the most terribly annoying and judgmental duo ever (courtney apologises to every person they torture)

spencer dormed with shayne in their first year and became inseparable after that. they become a little group with alex t, trevor and every now and again kiana (someone has to keep the idiots in check)

tommy shares an apartment with amanda and angela, and suffers through their old married couple bickering

tommy is the president of the theatre student association, which is why he gets to direct the musical. he's the first ever junior to direct instead of a senior.

hes v well known around campus, and depending on who you talk to, people say he's kind of a bitch

the musical they're putting up this year is legally blonde (tommy personally campaigns for it). if anyone wants a full cast list i will give it, but for now know that Jackie is Elle, Damien is Emmett and Tommy is Callahan (ofc my king would direct AND take part, he is so talented)

tommy spends the majority of his time with the theatre people, (jackie, damien, amanda, angela, chanse and kimmy) not just because of all of the rehearsals, but because he loves them

these are bits of information that i feel would be a little extra to mention in the text themselves? ill probably still end up referencing some in there anyway :D

[disco-tic-wonderland]

I headcanon that Kim is seeing someone, because it’s pretty normal for his age, and also I like the drama of Kim struggling against his foundation-shaking attraction to Harry vs the boring safe options he indulges in to keep his animal need for companionship and intimacy satiated. Plus foxhole eros and the shattering of it upon returning to civilian life.

But nah, it’s canon he hasn’t gotten laid in a while, possibly due to keeping others at an arm’s length. I forgot the pale book tells you so

MEDICINAL PURPOSES OF THE PALE - Your partner is even more repressed than you are. It would do you both a world of good to spend a little more time getting in touch with your bodies.

At least, Harry believes so. I’m unsure if this is Harry’s assumption or word of god, but I’m gonna go with the simplest solution.

Literally everything I find out about Kim makes him More.

What’s that, Kimmy? You’re starved for human contact and put up walls and pretend you don’t need it, that you’re above base human urges?

What’s that, boy? You develop an attachment in a matter of days to someone who cracks that dam open and you devote yourself to that person up to and including following him into death?

You have attachment issues and a fear of intimacy because of how strongly you can imprint on someone and know that can lead to incredible emotional pain? But it’s a siren call nonetheless and still your heart reaches out to the unsafe choice, the mess of a man who makes you feel things and is a walking red flag but still you want and you want and you want

You want someone to love you back like you love them, and this crazy hungover idiot keeps looking at you like you’re an oasis after a long desert ride.

[onceandfuturelesbian]

soft merthur getting together fics

- the fear of losing him by boggywitchin

- getting to hope you like me by papysanzo89, sage_owl

- guard and keep you by youfeelallthat

- feeling that pride by tabbytabbytabby

- prince charming and his idiot by kimmy

- oh heart, steady on by orphan_account

- the tenderness of your kiss, the sweet innocence of your lips by thecourtsorcerer

- it’s possible (for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage) by aeonthedimensionalgirl

- of first times and marvel boxers by dragonknuckles

- alred by theprinceandthewarlock

- all aboard the smooch train (chu chu) by seapotato

- mission: arthur by supercalvin

- knights of the faceoff circle by kirani

- tender loving care by beautifulfiction

- spilling over by slantedknitting

- we’re like two halves of one heart by gaystcr

- summer is late, my heart by polomonkey

- figuring out the cost of being true to ourselves by isolationqueen (bisousniall)

- samhain by geekcharming270

- this is my husband, arlin by miraculousmultifan

- the kings wish by whoareyouoooo

- battles come in different forms by coffee_and_riddles

- wait patiently (series) by rinharuismyotp

- nonesuch by arthur_pendragon

- the decisions we’ve made in the dark by bitchimawriteritsalldrama

- butterfly confessions by hisa_ai

- do you see fire by goldenn

- you’re there with open arms by merlinemrys (divineauthor)

- dress to impress by every1isgay

- truth be told by ohnomysanity

- slow hands by myfirstandlastvow09

- wrong-footed by kenisle

- so far yet so close by ana_jacobs

- lavender by excaliburstark

- the gift of freedom by caffinatedwarlock

- under the dawn sky by caffinatedwarlock

- love is all you need by ligi

- treat me like a lover by caledonia

- you hear him howling around your kitchen door by thenerdyindividual

- living like lovers by ghostythewriter

- a social experiment by bravenclawesome

[tame-a-messenger]

In regards to if Damien has ever been sweet to anyone else, here’s a list in no particular order other than the first one.

- Shayne: He’s grateful to Shayne and adores him as a friend. There are countless examples of this from when he first started at Smosh in the Damien/Shayne shows, in Summer games, in Hacking Off, the Peamupbubber video, Shayne’s exes, and so much more. And, it makes sense obviously. It doesn’t take away from other dynamics but that will always be an OG for me.

- Courtney: They’ve actually hung out outside of work (which I haven’t seen too much with the other Smosh members) and they’re always joking when they’re in videos together. Recent example when she was making fun of him on TNTL. Awesome impression.

- Kimmy: We don’t see her much since she switched to an off-camera role but they had a couple videos just the two of them (Twilight, Last of Us) and they had good chemistry too.

- Jackie: They had a fun dynamic. I think she pushed the shipping angle a little (all for fun) and would make him playfully uncomfortable with things like her egg song on TNTL, “have you ever been with a black woman?” bit, and sitting on him while he did push ups at Under the Mistletoe. And then, the whole Idiots Present.

- Saige: Oof, well, obviously he was sweet to her. His blushing in the exes video is still so cringe funny. Now, I imagine if they see each other, they awkwardly avoid each other.

Please feel free to disagree! I do think he has a great dynamic with Angela. It’s definitely the sweetest in recent years (except for Shayne) and I just think overall, he has a lot of chemistry with everyone. I just….c’mon, I don’t think he’s farted in front of anyone as much as he has Shayne. I think the last Damien/Shayne show ended with Shayne saying he “felt” that one.

I agree with you! (and I see you with your Damien and Shayne agenda ;) ) He is just really sweet to everyone! Shayne always mentions how nice Damien is, and pretty much everyone else does aswell lol! I guess what I mean when I say he seems particularly sweet to her is more of "I'll make sure you don't get hurt" kind of way, while still fighting with her. where as with everybody else he's just a really nice person, and has their back. Atleast that's the vibe I get from them

Personally I think it speaks volumes about how much you care about someone by how much arguing you do with them, while still being genuinely nice to eachother after.

Him and Courtney have always been really good friends! I mean she calls him and Shayne "her boys"!

But I see what you're saying, he is just really nice to his castmates in general.

But I really don't think he's been as EASILY sweet as he is with Angela with anyone else, atleast not that I can think of. Like Jackie Kimmy and Courtney he's know for atleast 4+ yrs at this point? Angela's only been there a little over a year and is pretty close with him already

Regardless, I'm just a sucker for Angela and Damien arguing lol

[popculturebuffet]

Batmarch!: BTAS: See No Evil Review

Hello all you happy batpeople and welcome to batmarch! For the next few weeks expect some caped crusader content same bat whenever I get to it, same bat blog all through march! This fine theme month came about thanks to Kev having a bunch of bat-ideas, me wanting to cover the 89 film for it's anniversary, and it all swirling around till eventually it became a theme month. I want to give bat-credit where it's due after all.

To kick it off we've got a return to what's become a recurring guest on this blog: Batman: The Animated Series. Last time I covered it after the sad loss of Richard Moll, I talked about wanting to cover this episode and when the theme month came up.. well.. I couldn't resisist.

See No Evil is one of my faviorite episodes of Batman the Animated Series and a great showcase of just about everything that makes the series as good as it is: Letting sitcom stars try out something diffrent that shows off their dramatic chops? Check. Awesome animation. Check. A great unique premise masterfully staged in 20 some minutes yup. An intresting and hearbreaking villian? Yupppp. This is one of the most stacked episode sof the series and rewatch only made me find MORE to love about it. And if you haven't heard of this one... your in for a treat. I highly recommend going to watch it first as my review isn't a substitute for the full episode. It is worth a look under the cut to spotlight WHY this episode shines so much.

We open in a little girl's bedroom. Her name is Kimmy and she has a special friend. His name is Mojo

No not him. He didn't exist yet. No Mojo is an invisible man, and Kimmy is played by future star Elizabeth Moss... who sadly would not escape being stalked by invisible men in high tech suits as an adult, but would get at least another amazing story out of it. Or we would.

Mojo then finds out some news that while he tries his best to hide his reaction from Kimmy, clearly bothers him: Their moving soon and Mojo may not be able to find her.

Before he can give up the game, Mojo disappears when Kimmy, the girl in question,'s mom shows up: Elizabeth, played by the legendary Jean Smart of Designing Women and Hacks royalty. It's neat to see her in a dramatic roll like this, and despite growing up with Desining Women.. I NEVER knew this was her but i'm happy she's here. Elizabeth assumes Mojo is just imaginary.. even though a kicked can and movement in the earlier scene shows not so. Granted while Imaginary Friends are possible in the DCU, it's still at the early point where I get her not going to that: Most of batman's rogues are criminals with gimmicks and what few meta human foes he has are downplayed a bit here in their powers: Ivy isn't at full control plants levels yet, using more toxins and trained plants, Killer Croc just has a skin condition and Clayface.. well okay clayface still counts. But most every day people probably don't know every foes batman's fought and evne if they had don't assume this is one of those situations. I bring this up because after so many damn works where "oh well this can't be real even though superheroes exist" come up, it's refreshing to see one where that's.. actually entirely plausable and you don't feel like the characters an idiot for not knowing this. Most superheroes in this setting hadn't publicly debuted yet and those we know had by this time like Zantanna or Wildcat were either other street level heroes, or in zantanna's case protected by the veil of stage magic.

Mojo's next target is a jewlery exchange.. which has low security for anywhere, especially Gotham: Costumed Crime Captial of the World. I was going to gripe about this scene as Mojo's big plan for having an invisiblity suit.. is to just straight up rob people with it, stealing the jewelery as their brougth out of their cases and basically doing a smash and grab. But I realized something as I wrote this: Mojo being this clunky with his suit.. is deliberate. Mojo is, as we'll find out shortly, is a petty criminal. He dosen't have the need for theatrics Batman's normal rogues have, and he dosen't have the experince to pull off an elaborate heist. Of course he's going to see an invisiblity suit as more of a blunt tool to use rather than the very dangerous and versital one it is.

He's not entirely stupid, he knows how to use it as we see when Batman, who naturally was at the exchange as bruce either on rich person buisness, wayne corp buisness or "oh my god these idiots barely hired any security better be ready" buisness, fights him. Bruce is thrown off as even if he knows from Mojos's crimes t his opponent is cloaked that .. dosen't really help when your cowl dosen't have infared or anything. It just looks dope. And yes later cowls do but this one clearly isn't high tech to the gils like later entries, it's just dope as fuck. Batman does do the obvious when fighting an invisible opponent: Spill shit on them, in this case plot convience paint... but whoever built Mojo's suit thought of that or Mojo himself did as he has a setting to melt it off, a clever subversion of the usual tactics that gets batman a batassbeating. And that again shows Lloyd's style: even though we don't know exactly what he went away for, his style is all smash and grab: blunt force. He only beats the more experinceed combatant bruce in one on one. .because Bruce can't see him and dosen't hav etime to listen closely.. and even if he did it'd be too late. It's what makes "Some guy what got an invisible suit" work as a batman villian: Yes he's not as flashy and yes he has a simple gimmick.. but sometims all you need is a simple power. It's something I never thought about before but most of batman's clever gadgets.. are sight based. Even the gas bomb would only be mildly useful at figuring out WHERE he might be and with a full face mask, it woudln't do any actual damage, while Lloyd could pull down batman's gas mask and make him go sleepy bye. Batman.. isn't invincible and his stories are at their best when the writers remember that.

Mojo slinks back to his place and we get the shocking reveal that he's...

A guy who looks like a human ventriquist dummy? Did Slappy finally become human and end up fighting batman? Because i'd pay good money for that instalment of goosebumps, just saying.

No this.. objectively weird looking man is Lloyd Ventrix aka Kimmy's Dad. As a kid I found the idea of mojo creepy.. as an adult I find it deeply unerving. Part of this is having a passle of nieces and nephews, so the idea of an unstable man, let alone one the parent dosen't want seeing thier kids, sneaking to see them in a way their unaware of and that the kid impliclity trusts is fucking terrifyign. Part of it is just the idea of a person your trying to escape being able to find you and do whatever he pleases no matter how far you run is fucking horrifying. It's why the 2020 invisible man film is so good.. and so terrifying I haven't watched it since I saw it theatrically. It is a LOT on the nerves. It's also why both can coexist as this episode captalized on a different kind of fear: instead of an abusive ex, it's an abusive ex spouse who you are COMPELTELY unaware is contacting your kid till it's too late.

It's also what brilliantly creates the episodes tension: by the first commerical break WE know who this invisible man is to a point and what he wants, but not HOW he got invsible, or if Batman can solve the mystery of the how and who in time to get to Llloyd before he kidnaps Kimmie.

Before we move on i'd like to spotlight Lloyd's voice actor: While I always loved the performance here I didn't know the man behind the invsible man until this review.. and it was a nice reveal too: Michael Gross of Tremors and Family Ties fame. It's the latter that helps this role as in his scenes as "Mojo", Lloyd has that same kind warmth Gross had on Family Ties as Steven.. when he wasn't comically breaking down or reacting to his children's shenanigans. And that.. makes it ten times creepier coming from someone whose activley manipuating and stalking a child.

Not only that he transitions well to Lloyd in the rest of his life, wether it's his cockiness ast his power when fighting batman or his assuredness when trying to win back elizabeth, which we'll get to in a second. It's a brilliant performance that makes me wish he could've come back or they'd brought him back in another roll: Gross is just damn good portraying a man whose determined to get what he thinks he's owed no matter what it takes.. but can't understand WHY no one wants him around.

Case in point, that trying to win back his ex wife thing. He shows up at her work, and his defense to his wife understandably not wanting anything to do with him isn't "i'm changing as a person I just want a chance ot see my kid" or "I know I screwed up and you have every reason not to listen to me but hear me out" You know stuff that shows your contrite and genuinely reformed. Instead Lloyd shows he learned nothing from prison a his only response is "I got why you needed the restraining order when I was a bum but i'm bigger now". Yes really. Elizabeth tells him to shove it and stay way from his daughter then to just "disappear" unfortunately for her she's in a horror story and said something tragically ironic.

The good news is she's also in a batman story and thanks to plot convience turns out the inventor of the cloak of invsiblity pitched it to them last year, and he has his tech guy bring up the info on the man's assitant.

Batman decides rather than talk to said assitant, who could be the invisible man, to .. rifle thorugh the guys cabinets

Naturally when the man hears Batman bat rifling through his shit, he tries to throw a rack on him.. and batman's response to this entirely resonable reaction is

Gee your just.. so likeable bruce. Thankfully he does actually stop when the guy makes it clear he was here the last few days. And look jokes aside I get bruce dosen't know if this guy did it.. but there are more subtle ways to deal with this shit or someone understandably thinking your trying to rob them than the bat fist. There are better uses for the bat fist. And yes I meant that sexually, I will not be taking questions.

The Science Man explains that he's actually destroying all the fabric. Turns out while he was able to make it turn stuff invsible it's highly toxic. He was trying to correct that problem but coudln't, so he's destroying it. And i'm baffled why there was an entry on tv tropes saying "Well why can't he use it on cars" as we see it used. And to this I say this guy is picking up his old mentor's work, probably sunk a lot of money into remaking this and testing it, and has had some time to do so. If he COUDL salvage this project he would've.

Turns out Floyd was their old assitant though in a pompus way Science Man says he was "really more of an errand boy". Gee I can't imagine why he stole from you. Such a puzzler.

At any rate this slightly douchey science man has given Batman all he needs and he goes to talk to Elizabeth. To Bruce's credit his prorities are in order: he wants to save Lloyd from dying rather than get the jewels back.. I mean he will, he's the goddamn batman, but he'll save the guy who stole them first. Maybe punch him a bit.

Elizabeth connects the dots about the invsiblity suit and mojo.. but Lloyd's already one step ahead as during this scene he's been talking about taking kimmy to a special place

She does as he takes her to a drive in theater nearbye and plans to take her away but she dosen't want to get into a car with an invisible man. So he takes the mask off.. and credit to Kimmy she instantly realizes "Shit this wasn't my imaginary friend". I mean granted it probably wouldn't be BETTER if it was

Fun fact: I did not realize this was coming out the same week as this review. Dates are fun

Anyway, Kimmy realizes it's not just her imagination and won't run away with him, so he reveals himself as her father.. and her reaction is not what he expected

Yeah it turns out Elizabeth isn't stupid and it's something I love about the episode: Elizabeth didn't make that mistake you see in 87 percent of tv parents who don't trust their shady ex. She TOLD kimmy about him. She didn't hide it, she didn't try to keep ti as some dark secret so he can manipulate it later: She just told her in terms a kid would understand: her dad is a bad man and should not be trusted. Granted the fact he looks like if archie andrews became a vampire should tell her that but the point stands.

This is also the great tragedy of Lloyd Ventrix: he wants his family back.. but he can never understand WHY they don't want him back. Floyd could've worked his way back to his daughter by staying clean after prison, staying at his job, finding another if he didn't work for Errand Boy Man, which is a fair thing not to want. Am I saying it would've been remotely easy? No, our country isn't set up to help ex-cons and treats them like pariahs, like every former prisoner is lloyd when some genuinely want to change and others were victims of circumstance. But he could've had his daughter back or at least a CHANCE at it had he genuinely tried. Elizabeth is reasonable, while she wouldn't want him around the guy she'd at least give him a chance to see kimmy if it was shown he really changed.

That's the rub though: Lloyd dosen't WANT to change. He's a smash and grab guy and that's who he wants to be. It's in most things he does: He has an invsible suit.. yet uses it for smash and grabs and his fighting style when fighting the bat is hit him with a blunt insturment. or maybe it's more of an object. But i'ts blunt hard and blunt. He says he's not a two bit hood when talking to elizabeth.. but that's relaly ALL he is. He could've conquered the gotham mafia, conquered the city, or even gone the other way and became a hero himself, fighting to make the city better. He has all this power.. but he still thinks in terms of "how can I smash this thing in my way" "what can I grab". He's emotinally and creatively empty.. and thus he can't understand why Kimmy won't accept him just for being her dad.

As a production note, the only one I have for this episode Kimmy was SUPPOSED to be in the final chase scene for a bit, but standards and practices were like

Because a child's lost criminal father pretending to be her best friend and her being in danger every time he's in the room? That's fine. But oh no she can't have a car chase.

So Kimmy runs home to her mom and Batman and Llloyd begin tussling, with Lloyd turning the car invsible with him and a passerby assuming batman can fly now which.. is fair. I'm suprised he dosen't have a bat jet pack.. wait did he have a bat jet pack? Questions for later

Bruce takes another beating, begging lloyd to consider but it's clear he's drunk on his own power and we see while he's a blunt intersturment/object/whatever he is it's hard and blunt, he gets this suit means no matter where Elizabeth and Kimmy go they'll neve rbe safe. Thankfully for him Lloyd made the mistake of fighting batman on a water tower and Batman's able to douse him, shorting out the suit. It's a clever set up: While water is also a common invsiible man fighting tool, when explaning how it worse it runs on an electric currrent. It's probably why it has the dohicky to steam stuff off.. but LLoyd can't get rid of that much water and he's out

The ending is masterful as we get a repeat of the opening scene: Kimmy is once again talking to a special friend, telling him that their move is final and Lloyd will never find her again. The vistor exits.. but thankfully it was batman, and we get a nice echo of the first scene: this time instead of playing it off.. elizabeth's relieved. Kimmy lost an imaginary friend, lost a father.. but gained a batman.

See No Evil is excellent and highly underated: It's a tense tightly packed 20 minutes with a nice twist on the usual batman detective formula the show uses: we know WHO did it but it's all about HOW and if Batman can find out in time. Smart and Gross are fantastic in this and it results in a tense, eerie little tale packed with tension. It's 22 minutes of perfection and worth checking out if you have max.

Thanks for reading and i'll see you some bat time, same bat blog.

[baflegacy]

ask game: 👻 (for any of your aus... or all if youre willing tbh)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

oh im definitely up for the challenge of having one each for my fics! not sure how wild it’ll be though 😩

its a risk: tommy was definitely texting a play-by-play of amanda and angela acting like idiots to the cast that aren’t able to see it (spencer, kiana, kimmy). like the full sports-announcer commentary

lmtbgs: by the end of the fic chanse and shayne are the only ones who know Something happened, but angela lets it slip accidentally during a CAH shoot bc Of Course she couldn’t resist making a “thats not what you said last night” joke. (amanda got payback when they got home though)

mmwtho: amanda wears the jesse costume Again for a games vid and once again angela cant keep her hands to herself. luckily they dont get interrupted when they rush inside one of the storage rooms BUT zoe and selina do wonder why one of the seat cushions in the storage room went missing.

fic writer ask game

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 07x20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

Laughter

“That was so fkn gross” “Murica” “Is it redhead? Fuck yeah” “Charlie, right? I got it right!” “SUPER-natural” “She’s not quite like Kimmy Schmidt. They’re different, but you get it” “Is there some significance to the song?” “That’s bullshit” “That keyboard sucks. Goddamn. I don’t think I noticed that before” laughter

“Oh yeah, Frank, with the trailer, right?” “That keyboard looks so uncomfortable. It’s even dusty. They didn’t bother to clean it up. Maybe it’s realistic for a work pc” “This is some fkn Hollywood bullshit if I’ve ever seen it” “do it” “Is he fkn dead now? IS she going to freak out?” “That didn’t age well” “I don’t remember this at all” “Way to give the lady thing away. It could have been a different lady thing” “What does borax actually do? You probably don’t want it on your hands that long” “with a face like that, bitch is dead serious” “well the wifi sucks too. Wait never mind” laughter “dean fkn smiled” laughter “was that a lord of the rings desktop?” “They could have just have her put it in the bushes” “nerd” laughter “seriously”

“Dumbledork” “That seems a little elaborate for that” “easy for you to say Dean” laughter

“Pretty awesome actually” “she works here and she could have liked instead say that she had to update something” “you and me both?” “what was so dirty?” “what the fuck company uses underscores in their user names?” “That’s one helluva command line” “Copy email from PRIVATE server” “that shit is so stressful dude” “what are we milking? Holy fuck” “oh Jesus” “digging dick” “the fuck did I just read? Is this 2016?” “gotta grab that dick. He wants it bad” “not the smoothest landing ever” “How would they know exactly what container to put it in? Movie magic I guess” “Why aren’t they running? Fucking idiots” “He bought you like 30 seconds and all we did was stare” laughter

“Idk why they wrote it up that they eat people” “what did they just do? Her makeup is better in this scene” “She looks better in this scene” “Let’s just go beat dick first then figure it out later” “gate 5”

[signalwatch]

90's Watch: Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead (1991)

Watched:  02/09/2023

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Stephen Herek

Sometimes a movie goes off the rails so fast and so hard, feels cynically produced on top of that, that it's hard not to just get mad, fold your arms and complain til the credits roll.  For the past 32 years, I'd successfully not seen Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991), which came out when I was 16 and was working through my Gen-X feelings of rejecting things I felt were marketed at me - but specifically at a very dumb version of me the people selling me stuff mostly took to be an idiot.

In 1991, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead was *heavily* sold at teen audiences with ads on MTV and elsewhere running seemingly non-stop.  Certainly I saw  trailers before other movies.  And you always knew:  if the movie looks like this, and they're advertising it this hard, it's because it sucks and they need to get people in before word spreads.  

There was a long tail of 1980's-style comedy into the 1990's, enough so that it probably deserves its own niche, but this movie feels like a 1987 release more than something that would hit at the same time as Home Alone. 

The pitch is this:  

Kids are left at home for two months under the care of a mean old lady.  She dies in the first ten minutes, and the kids dispose of her and accidentally the money they were to survive on.  For reasons, they do not want Mom to know (and Dad has some mysterious shadiness about him that is never teased out).  

Instead of BOTH teens getting jobs so they can survive, only one does (Applegate).  She works for a day at Clowndog (which looks like a very bad job, but a very fun place to eat), and then lies her way into a job at a fashion/ uniform company as an executive assistant.  And never worries about getting caught.  Even as she steals from the petty cash.

Kids learn life lessons.  Romance is found.  The ending makes zero sense.

You can blame the director for this, but Stephen Herek directed a number of watchable films, from Critters to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure to some big-budget, successful, live-action Disney films. In short - I think he knows what he's doing, or especially did in the 1990's.  But if he also shot what was on the page for this movie, then... you know, these writers more or less don't have a track record after this movie that I'd write home about.

Curiously, this entire family lacks scruples while also having a complete lack of charm or any redeeming qualities.  Movie:  this stuff is important if you want people to care about the ending.  Counting on the audience being dumb kids only sells so many tickets.  At least try to make us care whether the children live or die.  I mean, we've already shown a curious callousness to life and death once in the movie.  What's one or two kids less?  But the kids all get one character goal and spend the duration whining about whatever their thing is.  There's no love or even hate between them.  They merely co-exist in space.

Despite a really solid title that promises a dark comedy full of hijinks, we get a pretty basic "fakin' it til you're makin' it" comedy made popular in the 80's with Working Girl and The Secret of My Success welded onto a teen summer romp about being a dipshit.  And, despite the fact it looks like a comedy, there's almost nothing present to illicit actual laughter.  I laughed audibly exactly once, at a supporting character's choice to clutch a jar of M&M's as a coping mechanism.  

The set ups of the film intended to provide our hero with challenges all seem to point to:  this girl is going to jail.  And she is going to jail because she's an idiot and everyone else in her family is an asshole, from youngest kid to absentee, lying mom who has skipped the continent to go bang a shepherd. 

What's odd about the "makin' it" business aspect is that she... doesn't?  She hands all of her work to Kimmy Robertson, and her solution for saving the company is to turn their industrial uniforms into highly 1980's-specific and impractical designs that seem like they'd just bring more shame on the workers than a smock or a golf shirt.*  

Either one of these movies might have been fun on their own, but together...  

It feels like no one sat down with the script and said "does this make sense?"  Like - ok, I'll buy the shitty mom also didn't tell the kids who she was hiring to babysit them for two months.  I'm not sure how this old bag was qualified or why she thought making the kids miserable was not going to get back to the mom.  Ignore all that.  Babysitter is dead within 10 minutes.

But I also don't get what the kids thought was going to happen when they had to explain to their mom they threw away a corpse.  Like - that woman presumably had friends and maybe people who loved her...  The movie could have set it up so that wasn't true, but it didn't.  They just throw her away.  (Apparently Bad Mom also left 2 months worth of cash?  Jesus, lady.).

But it also does weird little things like - they give the kids two cars, but then one is stolen partway through the movie (by drag queens.  And that plot point never, ever returns...  when it so easily could have).  Like... why?  Why one car?  It makes whole chunks of the movie not make sense.  Like - did they call an ambulance to the farm?  Did they get a ride?  

Look, I could spend an hour naming Things In Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead That Could Have Easily Not Happened And/ Or Been Fixed.  I will spare you.  When other people think that's criticism, I find it both dubious and annoying.  I mean, I am 100% right about all my thoughts on this, but I doubt I will sway anyone who loves the movie for any reason.  Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

But, jesus.  This is the laziest @#$%ing movie.

It also costars Joanna Cassidy, who I know mostly from Blade Runner, and who is clearly in a wig here but allowed to be over 40 and hot, which is shocking for the period.  And it has John Getz, who was the main guy in Blood Simple, here being horny at Christina Applegate.  Josh Charles plays Applegate's paramour and he's... fine.  David Duchovny is there to show you what happens when no one knows what to do with you as an actor.  I think the secretary/ Josh Charles' sister played Admiral Cornwell on Star Trek: Discovery.  

The movie is wisely anchored by Applegate, who was most famous at this point as Kelly from Married... With Children and seemed ready for bigger things.  If the movie is watchable, it's that Applegate is watchable and likable, and not playing a broad, dumb character.  Her scenes with Joanna Cassidy and John Getz suggest a better movie that doesn't exist when they aren't on the screen.  But it's hard to sell to boys wanting to see Applegate a movie when she's on TV every week, and I don't think the movie did a great job of marketing the Makin' It portions of the film.  Applegate's career is worthy of discussion because she's proven multiple times she's hilarious, but she has to be the straight man here to literally everyone.

Who knows what happened from script to production to the editor's block?.  Anything could have.  And probably did.

I will possibly try this movie again in another 32 years to reconsider.  

  *I say this as someone who worked back-to-back at Chuck E. Cheese and The Disney Store

https://ift.tt/aBxntMz

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/yuMK0Xo

[theredhairing40]

DPRK, american political theater, hatchetmen hating the OXMC administration, life itself just crappy(?)

Thaddeus: According to my source, the barriers are put in place... the deportation agreements with China, and Russia are set. Seems like Kimmy wants to place his hand into everything lately. Moriarty: That's what they want you to believe... like OXMC running for president without necessary experience was a disaster for the Americans. Thaddeus: Some of them still think he was a necessary leader though. Moriarty: Bloody hell! With what 94 indictments within his country's judicial system? Even the hatchetmen who worked for his administration said it was impossible to please the useful idiot. Thaddeus: We're everywhere apparently Moriarty: So I've heard... but the last time Americans used our services we had to go off the radar for a quarter of a century.

[elwynten]

Sword Oritoria Chapter 6

The 59th Floor

This is yet another situation where my timing will have to be spot on. Bell will fight the Minotaur on the ninth floor and rank up to level two. My Team and I will have to wait until the Loki expedition gets to the 50th floor. I would have liked for my Team to be 2nd level before we go down to the 58th floor but the timing for that is way off.

I did nullify or block the high-rank excelia we all will get from fighting the Valgang Dragons and other monsters on the 58th and 59th floors. I Don't want us to have to fight even bigger monsters to rank up to Level three. Although I am allowing the normal excelia to get to us so our status will go up.

With that being said. I was able to keep track of everything that was going to happen and port my Team, Iris, Cindy, Kimmy and myself, to the 58th floor shortly before Finn and his group are to leave the 50th floor and head down to the 59th floor. I left Rosni back home because she isn't strong enough or durable enough. Plus, Rosni didn't want to come down this far.

My plan was to kill all of the Valgang Dragons on the 58th floor so Finn's party won't have to deal with the Valgang Dragons breathing fire up through the floors at them. Plus, my Team will get some really good excelia so we can increase our status which will allow us to rank up to level three in a week or two. Along with us being able to collect some valuable drop items from the Valgang Dragons. Valgang Dragon Fangs and Valgang Dragon Scales.

We totally confused the Valgang Dragons in the beginning of our attack. Cindy, Iris, Kimmy and I all changed to our dragon forms which caused the Valgang Dragons to not know what to fight. Although after our initial attack the Valgang Dragons learned that we are their enemy and started to attack us.

When there was a lull in the fighting, we would spend some time collecting Magic Stones and as many of the drop items that we could collect.

It took over six hours for the Loki Familia to make it to the 58th floor. Team STRNG (Starling) spent that time killing the Valgang Dragons and the huge brightly colored caterpillars. So, when Finn, Riveria, Tiona, Tione, and the others arrived they didn't have to fight any monsters.

When Finn saw my Team, I called out to him and his party. "Took you guys long enough. We've been down here for over six hours killing all these monsters so you wouldn't have to worry about them firing at you." I told Finn.

Finn, Riveria, Tiona, Tione, Gareth, Ais, Raul, Bete and a few others, all looked at me with stunned and shocked expressions on their faces. Tsubaki didn't know anything about my Team and I, so she just looked at me and my Team a little confused.

"How did you get down here?" Finn asked me.

I chuckled. "We took a short cut." I replied.

"There's no short cut to get down here, idiot." Bete told me.

I grinned at Bete. "If you say so." I replied. Then I turned to Ais and Riveria. "Isn't it time for his flea dip? He seems a bit irritable today." I said with a straight face.

The corners of Ais's mouth twitched up into a little smile. Riveria covered her face with her hand and shook her head from side to side. Then she looked up and looked at each of my Team in turn. "If you are not going to tell us how you got down here. Then tell us, why you are here?" Riveria asked.

I furrowed my brows and shook my head from side to side in disappointment. "I thought you were smarter than that, Riveria my dear. I have shown up several time when Loki Familia needed help. So why else would I be here than to help y'all out… again." I informed Riveria and the others.

Finn walked over to me and looked up at me. "If that is true. What is ahead of us on the 59th floor?" He asked seriously.

"The 59th floor is nice and warm right now. So salamander wool will not be needed." I told Finn then I looked over at Raul. "Sorry for your trouble getting all the Salamander wool, Raul." I offered my apologies to Raul.

Raul scratched the back of his neck with his hand and looked down at the floor. "Th-that's alright." He replied unsure of himself.

I turned back to Finn. "Plus, there is a corrupted spirit or demi-spirit, down there. It is what has been creating all those giant caterpillar monsters so it can eat their magic stones." I informed Finn and the others. "The upper half looks human while the bottom half is a titan alm. It is one of the crystal orb creatures. A crystal orb was attached to a titan alm and the corrupted spirit was created.

"One of the crystal orb creatures? You mean there are more of them?" Finn asked.

"There are several more crystal orb corrupted spirits. Most of them are in Knossos, the dungeon Daedalus built beside the real dungeon." I informed Funn and the others.

"A second dungeon?" Finn asked then continued. "That is not important right now. We need to concentrate on the 59th floor and what is down there. We leave in three minutes." Finn announced.

Everyone from the Loki Familia and Tsubaki prepared to go on down to the 59th floor.

"Let's go." Finn said when the three minutes were up. Then he took a quick glance at my Team before turning to the tunnel leading to the 59th floor.

Finn had my Team take vanguard along with Ais. I'm sure he put us in front so he could keep an eye on us. while Bete and Tsubaki took rear guard, and the rest stayed in the middle of the group.

My Team led the group through the tunnel to the 59th floor. Iris was skipping along beside us.

Ais was watching Iris skip around for a minute or two. "Is she… alright?" Ais asked.

"Iris? Oh, ya. She's fine. Iris is always full of energy and I believe she's excited. I would say she is kind of like Tiona. In fact I would hate to see the two of them together. With the amount of energy and enthusiasm between the two of them, it could cause a natural disaster." I replied with a chuckle.

Ais looked at Iris then she looked back at Tiona. "I see." She said as she turned back to look in front of us again.

"It's humid." Someone behind me said.

when we exited the tunnel and saw all the plants. "These look like the plants from the twenty-fourth floor." Bete stated.

After a short walk we finally found the corrupted spirit. It was still only had a vague humanoid upper half. The corrupted spirit was eating the giant caterpillar's magic stones. It would either take a bite from the front half of the giant bugs or pull the magic stones out of the bugs before eating them. There was no order to how it was eating the magic stones.

"Uh!" Ais sucked in air. "It is… a spirit." She proclaimed.

Several minutes after we arrived, the upper half of the corrupted spirit started to ungulate. It looked like there were many muscle spasms racking its whole upper body. Moments later it changed into a true humanoid form. If it was a true human, it's looks would have been on par with Riveria or Ais in beauty.

It looked down at our group. "Aria, Aria!" It started calling looking directly at Ais.

Hundreds of the giant caterpillar monsters were coming from the 58th floor and up from the 60th floor, surrounding us.

"Tsubaki, Raul stay back. Gareth, Ais, Riveria, Tiona, Tiona, Bete, get ready to face that thing." Jinn started giving orders. Then he turned to me and my Team. "You stay out of the way." He told us.

I chuckled. "It is more of the other way around. Don't let any of your party get in our way." I replied, although I kept my Team back for the moment. "Iris, Kimmy help protect the supporters. Cindy stick with me." I told my Team.

The Loki Familia members started attacking the demi-spirit. But almost as soon at they started their attack the demi-spirit started concurrent casting.

"Riveria!" Finn called.

Riveria already knew what Finn wanted and started casting a shield spell while the rest of the vanguard kept fighting.

A few seconds later. "Fall back!" Finn called, so everyone would gather around Riveria so they would be under the shield.

"Leave us out of the spell!" I called over my shoulder to Riveria and Finn.

"But you'll be killed!" Tiona yelled worry and fear on her face.

"Not even close." I told Tiona and the others.

"Showoffs!" Iris called out to Cindy and me.

I turned my head looking over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out at Iris.

"Ge he he he." Iris giggled.

"You two can join us if you want, before Riveria finishes her spell." I told Iris and Kimmy.

"Goody!" Iris yelled as she ran up beside me flinging her arms around my neck. I put an arm around Iris's waist holding her close to me. Kimmy followed, although she walked up to us more regally and with purpose.

"Idiots!" Bete told us with scorn. "At least we won't have to put up with them anymore." He added.

The girls don't have to worry about any magic aimed at them. They all have magic immunity, so no magic will affect them unless they want it to affect them for some reason. In other words, none of the magic the demi-spirit throws at us will affect us.

I called over my shoulder. "Riveria, leave us out of your shield!"

"Can't leave 'em out there to die." Gareth exclaimed.

"If they want to die. Let um." Bete proclaimed.

"Us? Die? We're stronger than that thing." Cindy responded.

"Haah haah haah." I chuckled and looked back at Gareth and the others. "We were going to let y'all get some of the excelia, but if that's the way you feel. We'll take it all for ourselves." I told the Loki Familia.

I turned back to face the demi-spirit. "It's all ours girls. Go half dragon and take it out!" I called out to my Team and started running towards the demi-spirit.

"YEESSSS!" I heard Cindy yell behind me.

By the time I had taken my third step, titanium dragon wings had sprouted from my back and a titanium dragon tail had sprouted from my tail bone. I flapped my wings with a great down thrust so I could take to the air.

Before I was fully in the air, the demi-spirit had finished its chant and we were being bombarded with fire. Even though the magical fire couldn't hurt me or my Team, I used my fire control to gather the fire and send it back at the demi-spirit.

"AAAAHHHHGGGG!" The demi-spirit screamed as it closed six giant leaves or petals around itself to protect itself from magical attacks.

"WHAAA!?" I heard Bete say from behind me

"How?" Tiona asked.

I looked over my shoulder and grinned before turning back to the demi-spirit.

"Take out those huge armor petals first thing." I called to my Team as I summoned Sasori to my hand as I flew towards the demi-spirit.

"Wait! We can't let them have all the fun!" Tiona exclaimed.

"I'm not letting those clowns show me up!" Bete proclaimed.

"Wait. Let's see what happens before we start running in. Take care of all of the other monsters for now." Finn told his party.

I raised Sasori and as I threw it at the demi-spirit, I used Doppelganger and created thirty copies. I summoned Sasori back to my hand a second after I released it.

Because I know about the demi-spirit's shield leaves or petals I used quite a bit of force. The demi-spirit covered itself with the petals, but the copies of Sasori sunk halfway into the demi-spirit.

"AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG!" The demi-spirit screamed in anger and pain.

Cindy had done close to the same thing as I had. She threw one of her Gossip Yuanyang Tomahawk and created thirty of them as it left her hand. But instead of just throwing them at the demi-spirit, Cindy used her Metal Control, to create what looked like a skill saw blade with the copies of her Gossip Yuanyang Tomahawk. She used the blades to cut at the demi-spirit.

"OOOOOOOO!!" The demi-spirit yelled as one of its protective peddles fell to the ground because of Cindy's attack.

"[Keep it up. This thing has regeneration, so it heals itself fairly quickly.]" I said and sent to my Team.

The demi-spirit started another chant.

I saw Kimmy flying up to the opposite side that Cindy was on, swinging her pole axe cutting into the demi-spirit. The demi-spirit swung its arm at Kimmy hitting her and sending her flying across the cavern.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGG!" Kimmy yelled at being hit.

"[Are you OK?]" I asked Kimmy.

"[Did you see that!? That think hit me!]" Kimmy told me.

I chuckled. "[Well, what are you going to do about it?]" I asked.

Kimmy didn't answer, she just flew straight at the demi-spirit with Sioc (Shockwave), her pole axe leading the way.

Iris was on the same side as Cindy. She was using the hooks on her hook swords to cut into and slice at one of the shield petals.

The demi-spirit finished its chant and released lightning bolts at us. Iris, Kimmy and I all used our electrical Control to pull in the electrical attack. I shot the lightning back at the demi-spirit. Iris did the same thing, collecting some of the lightning and sent it right back at the monster. Kimmy on the other hand pulled in the lightning and condensed it into Sioc so when she stabbed the demi-spirit with the top spike sending Sioc into the demi-spirit, she released the lightning into the demi-spirit.

I love it when one of my Team comes up with something new.

"AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" The demi-spirit screamed in pain as it started to fall to the side.

"[Iris, do the same as Kimmy. Stab the monster with your hook swords and send an electrical charge into it.]" I sent to Iris.

[Gotcha.] Iris sent back as she stabbed the demi-spirit with both of here hook swords, Plandai(Plants) and Jord(Earth) and sent a large charge of electricity into the demi-spirit.

Kimmy created more electricity and sent it into the demi-spirit.

I flew in dodging the demi-human's arm swinging at me, and stabbed Sasori into the demi-spirit as Iris stabbed Plandai and Jord into the demi-spirit. As soon as Sasori's blade was in the demi-spirit, I released a charge of electricity into it as well.

With three charges of electricity hitting the insides of the demi-spirit, the monster screamed then fell to the ground. Moments later it went up in a cloud of smoke and ash, and the magic stone fell to the ground.

"We killed it!" Iris yelled. "Whoo hoo! We killed a demi-spirit!" Cindy called out. "We did it. We killed it all by ourselves." Kimmy announced. "Team STRNG (Starling) did it again!" I called along with the others.

"[But we're not finished yet. There are still plenty of those violas and caterpillar monsters to deal with.]" I reminded my Team.

"[Let's do it. Let's finish off those other monsters.]" Iris said and sent.

"[She's going to get us killed one of these days.]" Cindy replied with a smirk on her face as she started flying off so she could kill the other monsters.

"[Let's go then!]" I said and took off to another area of the floor to kill the violas and caterpillar monsters.

"[Wait for me! don't leave me out of this!]" Kimmy called and started towards an area between Cindy and Iris.

It took all of us a while to kill off most of the monsters that remained on the 59th floor.

We didn't worry about killing all of the monsters on this floor because that would be a waste of time. All we needed to do was kill most of them, so we didn't have to 'worry' about them so we could get back up to the 58th floor.

I flew over and landed by the Loki Familia. Iris, Cindy and Kimmy landed behind me. I shifted back to full human form and looked over my shoulder. "Full human, girls." I told them.

Cindy walked up beside me. "That was fun. Are there any more giant monsters we can take care of?" She asked.

I looked down at Cindy for a moment then I looked over at Iris. I nodded my head towards Cindy. "She's going to get us killed one of these days." I said to my Team.

"Haha haha haha haha haha." Iris laughed.

"He he he he." Kimmy giggled.

Cindy threw up her hand in the air in surrender. "All right, all right. I get it. I pulled an Iris." She said admitting she had done exactly what Iris usually does.

"That was awesome! The four of you taking out that monster like that!" Tiona exclaimed as she walked over to us.

"How were you able to not only block the demi-spirit's magic attack, but send it's own attack back at the demi-spirit?" Riveria asked as she looked at me with one eye closed.

"One's abilities would be considered a Familia secret, wouldn't it?" I asked Riveria.

"Not necessarily. If your ability can be seen by others, it's not a secret." Finn replied. I nodded my head in agreement. "That's true. Besides I had that ability before I received a falna. So, it isn't really a Familia secret. I am an elementalist." I started.

"What kind of crap is that!?" Bete asked.

"An elementalist is someone that can control the elements. I can create and control air, water, earth, fire, metals and electricity." I told them.

"You can do all of that?" Lefiya asked confused.

I turned to Lefiya. "With your staff, you can create and control electricity or did you forget." I said.

Lefiya looked at the ground. "I-I haven't had a chance to p-practice." She admitted.

"I believe you'll have plenty of time to practice on the way back up to the 50th floor." I suggested.

"Y-yes, yes I will." Lefiya said with determination.

Finn had everyone stop at the entrance to the tunnel to the 58th floor to take a short break.

"We'll take a short break here before we head on up to the 58th floor." Finn told the group.

Once everyone was seated. "Are you and your battle party going to go back up with us?" Finn asked me.

I shook my head, no. "Hadn't planned on it. I thought we'd let y'all take care of the monsters on the 59th floor." I said then looked over to Tsubaki. "I'm sure some of you would like to get their hands on some of the drop items from the Valgang Dragons. I said with a chuckle, then I looked back to Finn. "After y'all head on up to the 57th floor. My Team will stay down here for six hours to give you time to get back up to the 51st floor. Then we'll head on home." I finished.

"Are you sure you don't want to travel back up with us?" Riveria asked.

"No need. We'll be just fine by ourselves." I replied.

"Guh! With how the four of ya took down that demi-spirit. I believe ya can take care of yourselves." Gareth put in.

"Let's get ready to get going out here." Finn told the group.

Once on the 58th floor, my Team sat back and watched the Loki Familia fight the monsters. Well, it was more like Lefiya and Riveria used their magic on the monsters. After they collected all of the magic stones and drop items, they headed on up to the 57th floor, while my Team stayed on the 58th floor to keep it clear so the Valgang Dragons wouldn't be able to home in on Ais, Finn and the others while they were heading on up to the 51st floor.

I had told Finn; we killed the monster on the 58th floor for six hours. We actually stayed a little longer because it took the Loki Familia longer to get back up to the 51st floor. After that I ported my Team to the PD in the abandoned church.

==========

After getting back home after helping out the Loki Familia. We went to Hestia to have our status updated. Hestia met us in our tent behind the house in the PD.

"You all went down to the 59th floor?!" Hestia asked both shocked and surprised.

"Yes, we did. We wanted to help out the Loki Familia." I told Hestia.

"Why would you help out Loki?" Hestia said with some anger in her voice.

"I know you don't like Loki and you have good reason to. Although if I remember correctly, Loki has been treating you a lot better lately." I reminded Hestia.

"That's true."

"Plus, just because you might not like Loki. That does not mean we should let some of her followers get killed in the Dungeon if we can prevent it. Besides it makes us and the Hestia Familia look good and it puts Loki in our debt." I added.

Hestia got a gleam in her eye. "Yes, it does. Loki in debt to my Familia. I like that."

I pulled my shirt off and laid on the bed so Hestia could update my status. Hestia sat on my upper legs and started on my status.

"I don't know how you did it, but all of your stats went up a little. I'm not even sure how that is possible because of how high your status is already." Hestia told me. "You're finished." She said and moved off of my legs.

"I'm next!" Iris called excitedly as she pulled off her shirt and took my place on the bed.

Again, Hestia straddled Iris's legs and pricked her finger and placed a dop of ichor onto Irises back. After a moment Hestia looked at me. "All of her stats are all "SSS" She went up as well. What did you do down there?" Hestia asked.

I chuckled and Cindy Giggled. "I'll give you a full report after you are finished with our status updates." I offered.

Hestia nodded her head in agreement. "Ok, you're finished." She told Iris and moved over so Iris could get up.

Cindy went next. Her stats went up as a little more than mine had, and lastly Hestia updated Kimmy's status. All of her stats went up by one "S" as well.

No one received any skills but all of you did go up some, so that is good." Hestia told us.

I offered Hestia a seat and once she had sat down, I told Hestia what we had done on the 58th and 59th floors.

"Although we're not going to report that to the Guild because they will want to know how four, level one adventurers could go that far down into the Dungeon." I added.

"No kidding. That would be a real pain. So, this stays a Familia secret." Hestia agreed.