#killing the first random child you meet right after? bit of a reality check!

[luckydicekirby]

devil's minion is so great bc like. it really is so romantic over all the horror and then it ends on newly vampired daniel saying wait, fuck, don't let me kill this girl, get her away from me! and armand makes him do it. and that's the end of the chapter. and it's so. daniel, what did you think was going to happen? you literally asked for this--but also, maybe you can't ever really prepare yourself for becoming a murderer!

and then daniel later is like this is great actually. i've always been the huntsman etc etc. but he still has trouble dealing with the bodies. ah buddy.

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Playing House Part 3 (Humor, Romance), Rated T. Full on Sylki hijinks, as promised!

Masterlist of my Sylki fanfics here.

---

The first thing she does when Thor leaves is Google herself. Apparently, she was a child actor and made a fortune there, before transitioning into modelling, and later into a successful influencing career.

"That makes perfect sense to me", Loki comments. "If I was not a prince, I would have chosen to be an actor too. Just imagine, legions of fans screaming your name, begging for your attention for just one moment, hanging onto your every word, willing to worship the very ground you walk on. Now, that is the dream." He pauses, cherishing the image in his head. "There's also the money. Looks like you and I will never have to work a day in our lives. We can just live off your money."

[[MORE]]

Sylvie feels the muscles in her laws instinctively tense. This is not her life, or her reality. She can't imagine spending eternity here. She looks at Loki sternly. "We can not. We have to return to the TVA."

"Yes, of course." He agrees immediately. A part of him likes this life. But another part of him knows there is never a gain without a loss. The universe finds a way to make him pay for every bit of happiness he ever gets. Who knows what the price may be if he chooses to stay, with his family, and with Sylvie right here?

Sylvie sets down the laptop on the bedside table, ignoring the danger of Loki's glass being knocked over and drenching it. She cannot let herself be concerned with such simple things. Ignoring them is the surest way to covince herself she hates it here. "I was wondering, if Thor can get into this town, and if he remembers us leaving this town in the past, does it mean we are free to leave?"

Loki studies her features, the resolute glint in her eyes and the defiant stance of her chin. It is clear that she will stop at nothing to get back to the TVA. "We should test it out." He says, trying to sound as calm as possible. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Maybe we can go to Oklahoma? See my supposed parents?" She attempts to play it off like it's nothing, even though she knows exactly what it means- temptation. The urge to see what this life looks like is ever-growing.

"Why can't we go to Asgard and see my parents instead?" He counters immediately.

Sylvie purses her lips, trying not to reveal her emotions. She doesn't remember her Odin or Frigga at all. A part of her longs to meet this version of them, but another part wonders how overwhelming it would feel, watching Loki occupy her place, have her life, her "parents" in this timeline. "Fine. How about we pick a neutral location first?"

"Fine." He replies curtly.

"Fine!" Her irritation escalates. She grabs the laptop again, opening up a tab to a travel website, ready to book a flight.

"LA?" He suggests.

"You just want the paparazzi attention, don't you?" She points out, but doesn't resist. "Alright."

September 1st. The date is set. They will be off to LA within three days, and if whatever being that has placed them here does not want them to leave, they will know by then.

---

"Do you really need all of these sunglasses?" Sylvie asks, after Loki stashes the fifth one in his backpack.

"Of course, I do." He defends. "Style? Remember?"

"Travelling light, remember?" She hits back, taking out two random pairs and throwing them back on her dresser. "Just take what you absolutely need."

"I absolutely need my sunglasses." He says stubbornly.

She can either give in on this trivial matter, or she can dig her heels in and fight it out with him. A stupid pair of sunglasses is not worth the effort. "Fine." And in return, there's something that he has to compromise for her as well. "Only if you help me get my swords past security."

"With pleasure." He says with a grin, and with a wave of his hand, the newly arrived swords from eBay are magically cloaked.

Sylvie looks at her own luggage. She has never really owned anything. She jumped from one apocalypse to another, with only her life, and sometimes food supplies for a few days. It feels surreal to look at the clothes in her wardrobe now. The thought of carrying them with her feels even more foreign.

She looks at the tons of products on her dresser, skin creams, lotions, toners, cleansers and heaven knows what else. All the luxuries she never had.

All the luxuries she does not want.

"I'll just pack a change of clothes." She says finally.

"You don't want anything else?" He asks, surprised.

"These are just things, Loki." She explains. "They can be replaced. I have no attachment to them."

---

She regrets not booking first class. She has been on planes before, using crashing aircrafts as a temporary hideout spot to regroup when the TVA was on her tails. As a stowaway, she never realized just how annoying a plane journey can actually be.

Loki graciously offers her the window seat, noting her unease as soon as they board. She thanks him with a smile, and they nod in mutual understanding.

She stares out of the window, at the town that is supposedly her home, and for the first time ever, she feels a pang of homesickness for a place that is not Asgard. She has been here for just five days now, yet, the thought of sleeping in her own bed is so tempting.

Sylvie notices how she is thinking of the bed as her bed now, but tries not to dwell on it too much.

The plane takes off without incidence, and she dozes off quickly. When she wakes up, she notices a thin comforter wrapped around her shoulders. Turning to her side, she sees Loki sleeping as well, his mouth slightly agape. She snuggles close to him, suddenly needing the comfort of his warmth, and the woman on the aisle seat gives her a dirty look. There's a baby crying somewhere in the back, and what feels like the beginning of a massive headache. But all that fades away when she lays her head on his shoulder.

---

When the flight arrives at LAX, they are both a little scared to leave its comfort. They are about to find out if they are free to travel wherever they want, or whether the action had any consequence. Sylvie is the first to take a step out, and they are both relieved to see nothing happens. The baggage claim goes smoothly, though slowly, and they get a cab quickly. Sylvie hides her grin when she sees Loki put on his sunglasses.

"So we're here." He says, staring at Sylvie, while she stares out of the window.

She only hums in response.

"Is this your honeymoon?" The driver asks.

Loki laughs nervously. "No, no. We've been married for quite a long time. This is just... a vacation."

The driver recommends them a lot of tourist places. Sylvie tunes him out. This is just a test. She has no interest in touring LA. They have their return flight scheduled for the next day.

They check into their hotel room, and she plops down on the bed immediately. "It seems we are free to leave the town. Just not the reality, I suppose." She runs her hands over the silky sheets, amused. "I must say, whoever placed us here has taken every measure to make this prison comfortable."

Loki follows suit and takes a seat beside her. "I suppose that is indeed generous of him. Or her."

Sylvie turns to the side to look at him. "So how do we get out of here then? Got any plan?"

He shrugs. It's not like there's a book called What to do when you find yourself trapped in an alternate universe with your alternate self for Dummies. "Right now, the plan is to get some dinner, then some sleep. Then perhaps in the morning we can see a bit of LA?"

"You want to play tourist?" She asks in a neutral tone.

He replies in kind, testing the waters. "We are here already, and we have the time, so why not?"

"Okay." She replies, a little unsure, but not entirely opposed to the idea. The weariness of the journey starts taking its toll on her. She messages her temples with her fingertips. "Should we order room service?"

Loki contemplates for a moment. On the one hand, she looks really tired, and she could use a good night's sleep. On the other hand, she has been completely on edge and razor focused on the mission since they got in this mess. Well, since they met, actually, and probably for centuries before that. She could also use a bit of fun and relaxation.

With that in mind, he carefully voices his proposal. "I was thinking maybe we can go down to the restaurant and have a proper dinner."

Sylvie looks up, grinning mischievously. She's about to call his bluff. "What, like a date?" His deer-in-the-headlights reaction makes her laugh. "Calm down, I'm just teasing you."

---

It's not a date, but it kind of is. It's a four course meal and a fine bottle of champagne over candlelight, after all.

"Was it like this? Back at Asgard?" Sylvie wonders.

"Mostly. But Asgard was grand, elegant. This is..."

"A cheap replacement." She completes.

Loki smiles. "Precisely."

They talk about their Asgard bedrooms, the similarities and the differences between their safe haven in the palace. An hour passes swiftly.

"The wine is good." Sylvie comments, sipping on her first glass of wine, when the champagne is drained.

"Yes, quite good." Loki agrees, on his first glass as well.

The tiniest buzz starts to take root in him, and his mind wanders into the realm of possibilities, the future he can have, here and now. His eyes focus on the brighest object in front of him- Sylvie.

She feels her cheeks flush under his gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You are just so..." He blinks. What is another word for Asgard's Sun when it disappears into the azure lakes? "Breathtaking"

Her lips curve into a shy smile. This is the beginning of the same foolishness he showed on the train in Lamentis-1 that almost got them killed. But right now, their life isn't in imminent danger. Right now, she is just amused. "Wow, you really can't hold your liquor, can you?"

"Of course I can. I am Loki, Prince of Asgard." He declares proudly.

"Yes, yes, I've heard the speech." She says it with a smile and an eye-roll. "We should get you upstairs."

He objects immediately. "But I'm not done yet."

"Oh, I think you're quite done." She beckons the nearest waiter. "Can we get the bill, please?"

He can still walk surprisingly well, but she holds his hand tightly, just in case he decides to take a detour, and drags him into the elevator.

"Blonde looks good on you." He comments out of the blue. "Maybe I should go blonde too."

She grins. "Like Thor?"

He glares at her. "You're a buzzkill."

---

Sylvie opens the door after fumbling with the keys for a minute. She is starting to feel the effect of the alcohol as well. She takes off her shoes and her earrings, while Loki runs to the loo.

"Why did you book a room for two?" He asks in a serious tone, leaning against the door-frame of the bathroom.

Sylvie freezes, her hand hanging mid-air for five uncomfortable seconds before she awkwardly drops it to her side.

Why did she book a room for two? She could have just rented separate rooms, or at least ones with separate beds. It's not like she and Loki are actually together.

But they have been. At least for the past few days. Why do they need separate rooms here when they share a bed back home?

Home. Sylvie realises with alarm that she's thinking of her prison as her home.

Is this reality starting to mess with her mind now?

"It's okay, I don't want to leave you either." Loki's voice pulls her out of her inner monologue. She turns around quickly in his direction. He's still drunk, and it shows, but he has a look on his face that she has never seen before- a mix of resolution and fondless. His eyes whisper silent vows of loyalty, and something else, something he can't quite express yet. "I will never leave you."

Sylvie smiles, closing the distance between them and standing next to him. Her hand finds his by sheer instinct. "Good to know."

"I mean it, Sylvie." He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, before he tugs her along with him as he sits down on the bed, unable to stand any longer in his inebriated state. She is grateful to be seated too, and she's unsure whether it is just the alcohol. "I know you hate it here. But I like this." He indicates at her, then at himself, then back at her. "I like falling asleep next to you, and walking into the kitchen first thing every morning to see you cursing at the microwave. I like how you hum in the shower and scream at the TV."

Sylvie listens quietly, her eyes focused on the feeling of his hand in hers. She is trying to memorize this moment, burn the shape of his fingers and the feel of his touch into her brain, so that when it's gone- when he is gone- like everything in her life always is, she will have another good memory to relive again and again.

Loki continues. "I like the way you burn the pasta every time you try to cook."

"I don't burn the whole dish." She retorts playfully. "Just the bottom part."

He shakes his head to show he disagrees. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Her heartbeat quickens. Is he going to confess that he has feelings for her?

Does he have feelings for her?

"Sure." She barely whispers back.

Loki double-checks. "Promise me that you will never tell yourself?"

She laughs softly. "I promise."

Loki tenses, suddenly looking sober. He lets go of her hand, to rest his by his side, his fingers clenched into a fist. Mastering all his courage, he finally speaks. "I don't want to leave. Ever. I like it here."

Sylvie looks away, suddenly needing air. Hearing Loki say that makes her feel irrationally angry. He promised to be on her side every step of the way, but the minute he finds a life he likes, he's ready to throw in the towel.

A part of the anger stems from the fact that she knows, a major reason he wants to stay is her, this life he has with her. Two Lokis on any other timeline will cause Nexus events. But here, they are free to be together. Timelines don't start branching off like a growing vine on timelapse video every time they touch. And he wants that. She knows this because he has all but said it with his words and his actions.

And because she wants it too. Damn it, she wants it so much. She is getting sucked into this reality, indeed.

But she knows she has to finish what she started- she owes it to herself, and to the people out there who need her help, who will be robbed of their lives if she doesn't stop whoever is doing this.

She wants to-

- But she can't.

"Loki, I-" she stops when she turns around to see he has already fallen asleep. Wordlessly, she wraps the comforter over his sleeping form, before crawling under it herself. Turning to her side, facing away from him, she wonders what's next for them.

[silver-renjun]

Cafe 7 Dream: Chenle

Word count: 2,438

Warnings: violence, stabbing

Read the prologue before reading this!  

You were heading out to the cafe after class. Renjun and Haechan were far up ahead of you, chasing behind Jisung to tease him. Mark, Jaemin, and Jeno laughed at the poor boy’s torment and ran along to catch up. You and Chenle were left alone. The two of you didn’t really hang out alone together. The only times when you were this close to Chenle was when you hung out Jisung. Even then, you were never alone with Chenle for more than a minute.

“You know, uh, we never really spend time together,” Chenle said with a nervous laugh.

“Well, you are my boss,” you joked.

Chenle felt hurt at your reply. He wanted you to think of him as a friend, not as the guy who ordered you around and didn’t even pay you. 

“You can work with me today,” Chenle offered.

“I was actually hoping to assemble some cakes with Mark today, but that sounds great too,” you replied. 

You had no idea how much your words stung Chenle. He had a major crush on you for months. Hearing that he wasn’t even in the friendzone made him upset. Chenle was determined to make you like him, even a little bit. 

At the cafe, you stood behind Chenle as he worked. You watched him lift boxes and give order to the other boys. You didn’t want to admit it, but Chenle was quite attractive when he was in a position of power. His confidence made you swoon. In reality, Chenle was quite anxious about his crush staring at him. The two of you talked a little, but you were both nervous about impressing each other. 

After the last customer walked about, Chenle decided to make a move on you.

“Hey, y/n, do you want to come over to my place tonight?” Chenle knew the question was completely random, but he didn’t know if he would ever get another opportunity to ask you out. 

You were quite shocked at his question, wondering if he could read your mind. You had just been thinking about how you wanted to spend more time with him. 

Chenle assumed your silence was a no and said, “That’s fine. I’ll see you again tomorrow, y/n.” His face dropped in disappointment. 

“No!” you said, grabbing his shoulder. You quickly let go after you realized what you had done. “I mean, I’d love to spend more time with you. Tonight sounds nice.” 

“Great!” Chenle held on to your hand softly and led you out the cafe doors. Before he stepped out, he turned around and said, “guys, you can close up without me.”

Chenle’s house was huge, to say the least. Everything looked like it was out of a storybook. There was beautiful mahogany furniture that lined the hallways, which seemed like they went on forever. The high ceilings and walls were embellished with gold fixtures. You were sure that you were in a palace.

Chenle noticed the wonder on your face as you walked through the house and smiled to himself. He was overjoyed to make you impressed.

“Pretty nice, right?” he asked.

“This place is more than nice,” you said with wide eyes. “It’s insane!”

Chenle laughed at your reply. He didn’t care much for the way the house looked. Chenle was never interested in such superficial things, but seeing you this happy made him feel so lucky.

“Come on, let’s go to my room,” he said, pulling you up the stairs.

Chenle’s room was much more modestly decorated compared to the rest of the house. Despite all the luxury of his home, Chenle had mastered the art of the broke, messy college student look. You sat on his bed and looked around the room. Chenle grabbed a bottle from under his desk and handed it to you.

“You should try this, it’s really good.” You accepted the bottle and started to drink it. “I’ll go get some snacks for us,” Chenle said, walking out his room.

The drink Chenle gave you tasted like orange soda, but was a bit more bitter. You weren’t sure if it was your lack of sleep or the drink, but you began to feel sleepy. You were too tired to sit up, so you laid down on Chenle’s bed. You tried fighting your sleep, but it was just too strong. 

In your dreams, you saw yourself as a child. You watched your first day of school, your graduations, and your birthday parties. These memories made you feel cheerful and warm. The memories of your past slowly started to fade away. You body felt cold and empty. Darkness surrounded you. You felt lost, until a light grew around you. You saw yourself again, but this time it wasn’t a memory. You watched yourself on the floor, covered in blood. You were crying for help, but nobody was there to save you. Your body jolted and you woke up.

“y/n is everything okay?” Chenle asked. He rushed to your side and began to stroke the side of your face.

“I was just dreaming and I saw something really weird,” you said, sitting up on the bed. “I kind of saw myself being attacked.”

“Ah shoot.” Chenle placed his hand on his forehead and shook his head. “I knew this would have never worked.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on y/n.” Chenle gestured with his hand for you to follow him.

Chenle took you into the library of his home. The room was huge and you were sure there were thousands of books in it. You had never seen anything like it before. Chenle pulled out a book from the shelf and handed it to you.

“Read the cover.”

“‘Spells of the Mind, a Complete Encyclopedia.’ What is this?” you asked. 

“Magic books. The place is full of them. You can read all the titles and you’ll see.”

You listened to Chenle and checked out the other books on the shelves. You found ‘The Guidebook to Forest Spirits: Volume 1’, ‘The History of Warlocks’, and ‘Dried Grass Potions’. Every book you picked up had a strange name and you simply could not understand it all.

“What does this mean Chenle?” you asked, as you poked around the bookshelf.

“I’m not a normal person, y/n. My family has magical abilities,” Chenle started to explain.

“Yeah right,” you replied, rolling your eyes.

“Do you have a better explanation for all these books then?” Chenle snapped. You were silent and let him continue.

“Like I was saying, my family has magic abilities so do some of the guys. You see, Jisung’s actually a wizard. He made a love potion and put it in the cafe’s food. That’s why we get so many customers. And Jeno, he’s a water spirit. Then there’s Haechan. He hasn’t really gotten his powers yet, but they should come in any day now.”

“What about Jaemin? Is he some kind of coffee spirit?” you asked.

“Nah, Jaemin’s just a regular human. He’s just a little weird. Mark’s human too.”

You laughed and said, “Go figure. A group filled with magical beings and Jaemin’s the normal person.” Chenle laughed long with you. “What about Renjun?”

“Ah, Renjun,” Chenle became quiet. “Renjun’s kind of an oracle. He sees into the future and stuff. Most of his visions have never really happened, so his powers are kind of a joke. But he had one vision where you were attacked, so I got worried, and I gave you that thing to drink. It was a potion to protect you, but then you saw the vision yourself, and um, yeah,” Chenle rambled.

“His visions, they’re not accurate?” you said with a raised eyebrow.

“They’ve never really happened, so I think so. And what you saw,” Chenle paused for a second. “It was probably just a manifestation of my own fears, since I was the one who gave you the potion. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Okay, cool,” you said, brushing away the topic. “So tell me more about you Chenle! What are your powers like?”

“Well I’ve been trained in practically everything, but my specialty is a secret.” You pouted at his answer. “It’s because my parents are kind of big deals in the magic world, so we can’t be open about our abilities. It’s for our safety.”

“When can I meet your parents? I am in their house, after all.”

“At the cafe event. They’re launching a campaign about the implementation of magic in the real world, and the cafe is the first place on the list. They’ll be there and a whole bunch of magical beings in the business world will be there too.”

You and Chenle sat on the floor of the library and talked for hours. You were amazed by all the books, and pulled out each from the shelves to have Chenle explain it to you. By the end of the night, you were engulfed by the world of magic. You wanted to learn more, so you asked Chenle if it was okay to stay over. He was delighted and showed you to a room near his own.

The next day at the cafe, you wanted to see the magic in action. You sneaked behind Jisung as he went into the back room. The room looked like the lab of a mad scientist. There were shelves filled with potions on all the walls. Your cover was blown when Jisung turned around.

“Ah y/n! What are you, um, doing, uh, here?” Jisung stuttered. He took a step closer to you, trying to make you leave the room.

“Chill out, Jisung. Chenle told me all about your little love potion,” you said with a smirk. “I know you guys have magic.” 

Jisung blushed at your words and replied, “Well since you’re here, want to see what I’ve been up to?”

You nodded and Jisung started to explain all the potions he had made. Most of them were just variations of the love potion, which was his specialty. You grabbed a bottle to examine. 

“Be careful y/n! That one’s still a little messed up. Chenle drank it before and he confessed that he like y-” Jisung stopped speaking when he realized what he had done.

“He likes me?” you said with wide eyes. 

“He, uh, just pretend like you didn’t hear anything, okay?” Jisung said before shooing you out the room. “Chenle’s going to kill me for this,” he muttered to himself. 

After the cafe had closed, Chenle invited you to his house again. The two of you were sitting in the library when Chenle opened up to you.

“y/n, I think you’re so perfect and beautiful and amazing and, uh, can I be your boyfriend?” Chenle blabbered.

You laughed at his confession, thinking back to what Jisung had told you earlier.

Chenle looked down and said, “I get it. I’m sorry I-”

“Don’t apologize,” you said, grabbing his hand. “I like you too! I was just laughing because Jisung spilled your secret earlier today.”

“Ugh, I’m going to get him for this!”

You and Chenle laughed and cuddled in the library. Chenle offered for you to spend the night again, and you happily accepted. Every day after work, Chenle offered to take you to his home, and you always said yes. You practically lived at his house. 

One night, while you were sleeping, Chenle was discussing the cafe event with his mother.

“It’ll be shameful if Haechan doesn’t have his powers. People from all over the world are going to coming to the cafe. What are they going to think when they see a boy with unawakened powers? We have to maintain our reputation.”

“But mom-”

“No buts. If the only way to bring out the magic in him is through a ritual, then so be it. You’ve got a sleeping human upstairs, ready to be sacrificed. I expect you to do what’s right for this family.”

Chenle couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. His family’s success was nothing compared to your life. You were his number one priority, or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself. 

It was the day of the cafe event and Chenle still hadn’t followed his mother orders. Chenle knew there would be dire consequences if he didn’t do as he was told.

“Hey y/n, Haechan, can you help me in the back?” Chenle said. His voiced quivered slightly as he thought about what he was going to do. 

When you were all in the back room, Chenle told you to count how many potions were on the walls. With your back wide open, Chenle whispered “I’m sorry,” and slashed you. 

You woke up in a hospital bed. Chenle was sitting next to you.

“Chenle, baby, what happened?” you said innocently. 

“y/n! I was threated by my mother to use your blood for a sacrifice and give it to Haechan so it would awaken his powers and I really didn’t want to do it I swear, but my mother forced me so I had no choice and y/n I know this makes me a horrible person, I just didn’t know what to do so-” Chenle rambled before breaking down into tears.

“The vision. Renjun’s vision was true. The reason I had the vision when you gave me the protection potion was because you were the one I needed protection from,” you said in a monotone voice. 

“I’m so sorry, just please, please, just forgive me, I really didn’t want for it to turn out this way, please,” Chenle pleaded.

“You know so much about magic. You knew what my vision meant, didn’t you? You lied to me.”

“I truly didn’t mean, oh just please, I didn’t want to do it, it was all a mistake, I just wanted to help you, I didn’t know it would be like this,” Chenle continued. 

As betrayed as you felt, you knew Chenle was genuine. You loved him with your whole heart and you knew he felt the same way about you. You couldn’t let him torture himself over something he had no choice over. 

“I’ll forgive you one day, but not today.”

Select another route

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

[calamity-bean]

16 new horror films i’ve watched at random lately just cause i’ve been in the mood for horror

Been thinking about horror today, and fun fact, I’ve actually been fairly DEVOURING horror films of late! Sixteen new ones in the past couple weeks, in fact, according to the little list I’ve been keeping! New to me, that is, though they do all happen to be very recent releases (2016 at earliest). Horror is a genre with which I often like to pull up Netflix or Hulu and just pick at random some film I’ve never heard of and don’t know the first thing about; I feel like it’s a genre that depends so much on personal taste and that encompasses such a wide variety of tropes and approaches that I never entirely know whether I’ll like a particular film until I try it. It’s a gamble, sure, and sometimes it’s a dull or infuriating couple hours... But I love horror in general, and I feel like it’s a genre in which even terrible films often stir my imagination with the potential of their premise if not the brilliance of their execution. And you do find those hidden gems.

Anyway, since I love to hear myself talk, I thought I’d share my quick impressions of the ones I’ve watched lately, in case any of you are also in the mood to stream something new! These are (almost) all currently on Netflix or Hulu, so have at it. No specific spoilers; mostly just whether I liked it or not and why. I added a few content warnings where I remembered any elements that, to me, went beyond genre-standard levels of content or involved specific common triggers, but, I mean, they’re all horror films, so do your due diligence if necessary and do expect some level of violent or disturbing content in all of them. 

The sixteen films in question are: Sweetheart (2019); The Lodge (2019); Mercy Black (2019); What Keeps You Alive (2018); Cold Skin (2017); The Golem (2018); Rattlesnake (2019); We Summon the Darkness (2019); The Wretched (2019); They Come Knocking (2019); Pyewacket (2017); The Other Lamb (2019); The Silence (2019); Body at Brighton Rock (2019); Under the Shadow (2016); and Seven in Heaven (2018).

Brief descriptions and impressions and such under the cut!

Sweetheart: Survival/monster horror about a young woman who, after the boat she and her friends were on goes down in a storm, washes up alone on an uninhabited island… and then realizes she’s not entirely alone. Quite liked this one! Like almost any horror movie, it suffers from the fact that monsters are almost ALWAYS far scarier (and far less cheesy) before you actually see their CGI rendering chasing the protag, but that’s typical, we’re used to that. The protagonist is smart and capable, and the actress (Kiersey Clemons) has to carry so much of the film solo and often with very sparse dialogue. Warning for mutilated and decomposing corpses.

The Lodge: A woman who as a child was the only survivor of a cult winds up stranded with her new fiance’s two children in a remote, snowbound lodge. This one was pretty dark! I love themes of cold, isolation, and losing connection with reality, and I think the whole cast does a great job; the acting and production are overall high quality. Not sure it captured my imagination enough for a rewatch, but I did enjoy watching it. My fellow Barkskins fans will notice a few glimpses of our own Renardette. Warnings for onscreen suicide, pet death, and psychiatric/medical manipulation. 

Mercy Black: A young woman returns home fifteen years after, in her childhood, being involved in a disturbing act of violence inspired by an urban legend called Mercy Black. I like the concept behind this one, in terms of the urban legend, the protagonist’s relationship with it; I liked the overall film okay, but I found certain aspects a bit cliche or thinly sketched. Standard supernatural horror levels of violence and spookiness, imo.

What Keeps You Alive: For their one-year anniversary, a young couple vacation to a remote house in the woods, where the protagonist begins to learn some strange things about her wife. I really enjoyed this one. It might be my favorite on this list, and certainly one of the ones I’m more likely to watch again. It’s well structured, well made, with a strong, compact cast, and it’s gotten the song “Bloodlet” stuck in my head for weeks. However, you will probably not enjoy this one if, as I know is the case for some people, you would rather not consume content that depicts LGBT relationships that are unhealthy or LGBT characters who are villainous. I get where you’re coming from, but it means this one probably isn’t for you. It also isn’t for you if you would rather not see some quite brutal injuries.

Cold Skin: Okay, this is the only one that wasn’t actually on streaming, I checked this out from my local library. Set in 1914, a young man takes a post as a meteorologist on a remote island in the South Atlantic, inhabited only by the unfriendly lighthouse keeper… and the creatures that crawl onto shore at night. Gosh… How do I feel about this one? There are aspects that are cheesy, effects that don’t entirely hold up. But I liked it. I like the idea of it, and I like the themes of isolation and connection, and I like the protagonist and overall I think it’s a solid and interesting narrative. Sort of… The Terror meets Lovecraft. Warning for offscreen (but audible, and almost visible) sexual assault.

The Golem: Set in the late 17th century in a rural Lithuanian shtetl, a woman creates a golem to protect her community from the threats of Christians who blame her people for the plague. Thematically, this one centers largely around motherhood, which I think makes sense with how it’s done here, and I always like the supernatural elements of a horror film to have a very strong, personal thematic link with the protagonist’s emotional character arc. Stars Maman Brigitte from American Gods! Warning for mentions of miscarriage and themes of child death.

Rattlesnake: After a mishap on a remote highway, a woman unknowingly makes a deal with the devil in order to save her young daughter’s life. I liked this one as well; I found the protagonist enjoyable, the overall concept straightforward but engaging, and the hot, arid, rural setting — I think it’s supposed to be around Palo Duro? — an effective backdrop. Not spooky-scary, but nice tension throughout. 

We Summon the Darkness: Set in the 80s, three girls travel to a heavy metal concert despite the string of recent killings apparently committed by a Satanic cult. This one is basically a slasher flick — with a twist, yeah, but essentially the slasher model of teens plus extensive violence — and I think it’s a pretty decent one. And I liked the hair and costumes, ahaha. 

The Wretched: A teenage boy becomes convinced that his new neighbor has been possessed by something evil. I like the narrative and the characters in this one okay, but where I really have to give it props is in the overall visual presentation of the supernatural threats; it’s able to lean into uncanniness and human body horror that work well on film rather than presenting a creature created wholecloth (which, as I mentioned earlier, often doesn’t work super well).

They Come Knocking: On a drive into the middle of nowhere, a father and his two daughters hear something knocking on their caravan at night, asking to be let in. Okay, so… this one is a black-eyed children story (with a setup reminiscent of ye olde Anansi’s Goatman, too, in a way), and I have to admit that black-eyed children are one of those tropes that doesn’t work for me even as a creepypasta, it just strikes me as lame and dumb. And I did find the actual children in this film to be, well, cheesy and dumb-looking. But the human side of the narrative — the characters and their relationships and emotional aspects — is actually pretty well done! So I found it engaging enough in that regard.

Pyewacket: A teenage girl who has a difficult relationship with her mother lashes out by trying to summon a demon to kill her, only to regret the ritual right away. I think this one was well done, too, pretty dark, with a spooky forest setting and some genuinely creepy glimpses of the supernatural threat. I am also delighted to discover that Pyewacket is actually the name of a familiar spirit according to the confession of an accused witch in the 17th century. (Not delighted by the fact that this poor 17th century woman was tortured for being an alleged witch, but delighted that there’s a little historical inspo here.) Warning for a fairly graphic death by burning.

The Other Lamb: This one is not horror as in “scary” but horror as in thematically disturbing and a little eerie. A young girl who’s been raised in a cult — all female except for their leader, to whom all the members are either wives or daughters — begins to question her faith. Slow, quiet, and a bit surreal, with some slightly feral-woman themes that are up my alley; I think I enjoyed it? The cast is quite good, especially the protagonist (Raffey Cassidy) and cult leader (Michiel Huisman with, I gotta say, some truly lovely hair). Warning for onscreen but nongraphic (as in, clothed and not showing anything below the neck) sexual assault of a minor.

The Silence: A deaf teenager and her family struggle to survive amidst an apocalypse of deadly monsters that attack based on sound. No, I’m not talking about A Quiet Place. I do feel a bit sorry for this film, because I know that it was conceived of and began production well before A Quiet Place came out, only to essentially be doomed by its striking similarity to such a successful film… And honestly, it’s not as good as A Quiet Place; it’s cheesier, there are more plot and character holes, the ultimate main threat feels disconnected from the premise, and the core theme/character arcs aren’t as cohesive. But it’s not TERRIBLE. It’s more of a B-movie-esque monster/disaster flick, is all. And I like Stanley Tucci, so at least he’s always fun to watch.

Body at Brighton Rock: An inexperienced parks employee gets lost in the backcountry and has to spend the night watching over a (possibly murdered) body she stumbles across while awaiting rescue. This one… hm. It’s like, I didn’t hate it? But it was frustrating. It reused the same scares / fake-outs multiple times, and even by horror movie standards the protagonist was maddeningly careless. I think it was all the more disappointing because I do like the setting and premise but felt it could’ve been better. 

Under the Shadow: In 1980s Tehran, during the air raids and missile strikes of the War of the Cities, a woman begins to fear something evil is stalking her young daughter through their emptying apartment building. This is another top fave, and I think overall the most well constructed film on this list in an objective sense. Strong narrative, strong characters and acting, a really great atmosphere of claustrophobia and tension and dread, and an interesting and effective setting. Would absolutely watch again.

Seven in Heaven: At a house party, two teenagers enter a closet as part of a kissing game, and they exit into a parallel universe that is similar but different in striking ways. This one was, hm… okay? I felt like it could’ve gone so much farther with the potential of alternate universes, in terms of really making them weird and interesting, and although I don’t expect a film to spell out everything for me, I just thought that the whole underlying mechanism of what was happening was left too unexplained. Also, the background characters looked like they were played by actual high school-age teens while the main characters looked like your standard Hollywood 20-something “teens,” which created kind of a weird dissonance lmao. But it was okay.

Overall, I didn’t HAAATE any of these; most were fine, some I found less engaging or more frustrating than others, and some I really enjoyed. I did start and then not finish a few more as well... I watched about 20 minutes of Black Rock (2012) before deciding I wasn’t in the mood for where it was going, and I just barely started We Are What We Are (2010) but realized I was too tired and distracted by other things to pay enough attention to subtitles at the moment. On a not strictly horror note, but it’s still thriller so we’ll toss it in, I got a ways into The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) because that’s a helluva title and I wanted to see Barry Keoghan’s work outside Dunkirk (the only film I’d seen him in), but man, that’s a weird one huh, very slow, very odd style of dialogue. I’ll still likely finish some or all of those at some point, but I just wasn’t in the right headspace when I first tried. 

Anyway, this has been me telling you what movies I’ve been watching! I’m sure you’re enthralled. And please always feel free to talk horror movies to me or send me recs!

[pastthevaulteddoors]

My brain fogs usually end with me babbling.

This morning @delicatelygloriousphoenix allowed me to babble to them about a thought I had.

And then... It just kept going.

I’m still tired. Here’s a cut version of that conversation.

I had a thought before bed last night 'cause I'm finishing up the extras to SVSSS.

What if someone was reborn into Mo Dao Zu Shi and had to save everyone?

What if Jiang Cheng was the person they were born into? I can't remember the scene properly from the novel, but right before WWX interrupts the summit meeting on Koi/Carp tower, drinks LWJ's booze and accuses Jin Zixun of his labor camp is when this person becomes the new Jiang Cheng. He himself interrupts WWX's rant that nearly falls into a fight and demands that he/Lotus Pier are allowed to keep the rest of the Wens because they burned the place to the ground and therefore have a right to them to rebuild the place.

The argument is quick, and JC is like "I'm taking them" and drags WWX out in surprise. But he turns to LWJ and is like "You comin'?" so of course LWJ comes when he's actually invited to do so. They run off to the camp. JC tries to hurry to get there before Wen Ning is stabbed. They do get there earlier than in the show/novel, but WN is already stabbed (but not dead).

They drag the Wens and an unconscious WN out of the camp. WWX doesn’t go nuts because WN isn’t dead yet and JC is there to lay down some tsundere harshness in his stead.

They have to stop at a village before they get there where Wen Qing can work on her brother and the Wens can rest. JC buys them all rando threadbare robes so they don't stand out as Wens anymore.

Lan Xichen shows up at some point to see if he can't... not so much help as his position won't allow him to take sides on this, but there to 'check on his brother.’ When he gets there, he’s pushed to the inn room where he sees JC focused at WN’s side. He’s giving him spiritual energy while WQ rests nearby. That's LXC’s first little spark of  "Ah, JC is nicer than he first appears."

The Wens are supposed to be 'laborers' to help rebuild Lotus Pier, but JC's really just wanting to make sure that WWX isn't forced off to Burial Mounds and becomes an icon of hatred like the show/novel. And he doesn't have to remove him from the sect entirely.

However, he tells a distracted WWX that he obviously has ideas with his new powers and gives him leave to seclude himself to practice/create/invent but in a safe environment. Jiang Yanli is happy that her brothers are not alone yet able to pursue their separate interests/areas of need.

LXC suggests Gusu taking the Wens as well as 'laborers' since Cloud Recesses was also burned down by the Wens. In reality, they have more safe space for the Wens, it's harder to ambush the 'labor camp' when it's on a mountain peak.

This is where the ALIVE yet healing Wen Ning and Wen Qing ask the Lans to take care of A-Yuan as they are not in the best situation to take care of a child at their camp. This is where LWJ and the frequently visiting WWX basically adopt him.

I mean, if the Wens aren't in danger, WWX has no reason to go back to the burial mounds so of course he’d come to check up on the Wens a lot. Which just means hanging out with A-Yuan and the bunnies often. If LWJ happens to be there with him all the time... well... who’s to say what that means?!

Meanwhile, JC is trying to handle his sect with only a bit of help from WWX here and there, although Wen Qing shows up a lot, as does LXC as a gesture of goodwill and to help the young new sect leader.

JC enjoys being a leader and the System provided him with knowledge and ability to train his new sect. He used to be a salaryman when he was alive, this is far more exciting and much more stimulating.

JC is pretty oblivious that both WQ and LXC are absently crushing on this confident and warmly grumpy JC. He just thinks they like visiting him to talk sect leader stuff or night hunt or... maybe he even thinks they’re his friends.

BUT JC knows his mission is not done, as the System keeps reminding him.

He needs to make sure Jin Guangyao doesn't marry his sister but he can't break OOC or share his knowledge of knowing that JGY and Qin Su are siblings... so he subtly courts Qin Su instead to basically cock block JGY.

Which surprises all but whatever. JC has changed since becoming sect leader, or so they say (really, JC is a different person entirely but ya know).

JC is okay with it, saying Qin Su is a decent woman and pretty enough. He'd be okay if they'd end up marrying, although he's very aware that JGY might try to murder him for taking the girl he likes but he's got his defenses up.

The courting goes on for awhile and JC keeps blocking JGY’s advances where he can but doesn’t go further with his own.

A few years later, JC hosts a birthday party of four year old Jin Ling, with little Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen among others... so it's a mini sect leader party, too. All of this without going OOC, he's still a grumpy sect leader but he's less feared (like, in the novel, JC was a friggen murderer! He tortured and killed anyone he thought was using WWX's methods or was his incarnation!). People actually seem to like him!

Late night at the party WWX, JC, LWJ, and LXC were hanging out. They suggest going on a boat together because a lot of lanterns were going to be let off in the lakes for JL’s birthday.

JC 'accidentally' spills tea on LXC's robes so he has to excuse himself to change. The others wait by the boat and JC is like "Oop, I changed my mind. I'm going to do something else" and kicks the boat off with LWJ and WWX in it and walks away. He chills in a pavilion a little bit later, watching the lanterns on the water and a few boats out there when LXC comes back. He doesn't even ask when happened and joins him, watching the boat that their brothers are in. LXC and JC haven't talked about it, but they both low key ship LWJ and WWX so they're of agreement.

This event triggers the Wangxian relationship quest. JC is pretty happy that they don’t have to wait 13-16 years before they get to enjoy each other’s company.

And that's when JC himself starts to admire LXC. Not that he hadn't before, they had become friends of sorts from both rebuilding their sects, passing advice to each other, and generally get to complain to each other as young sect leaders. JC kept distance though, knowing LXC’s sworn brothers are his confidants but now and again LXC even lets on a bit of that drama (realizing how much NMJ and JGY are at odds) when JC mentions "they just gotta fuck and get it out of their system"

But yeah, it's during that conversation that JC is like "LXC is actually really attractive and fun to talk to..." crush style.

Then a new mission starts! JC has to team up with LXC to get JGY and NMJ together. All the while JC is loosely courting Qin Su still. Wen Qing has since moved on with her affections (WQ is fast realizing that everyone is gay and instead goes to make out with Mianmian because yes lesbians!).

So LXC realizes that he likes JC but doesn't think he'd be interested because of Qin Su and Wen Qing.

Meanwhile, JC is like "The author said the only gay couple in this novel was WWX and LWJ but!!!?!?!?!??!?!? everyone is gay!?”

At WWX and LWJ's wedding, LXC and JC spy on JGY and NMJ who end up kissing behind a tree. They're tipsy but success! JC gives LXC a high five which amuses LXC because 'wtf is a high five? that's so cute, what a grumpy dork'

JC outright stops courting Qin Su then, which pisses off her sect, that is in close ties with the Jins, which turn their anger towards the Jiang sect. So JC has to fight with the Jins in a political battle, and his sister is preggers with her third kid so she can't help much.

But it's finally JGY that stands up to his father to stop bulling smaller sects. No hard feelings for stealing Qin Su then dumping her, apparently.

It's about this time when Mo Xuanyu shows up and is like "you're my daddy" Lady Jin already hates her husband's illegitimate children but now she's furious, especially after her friend tells her that Jin Guangshan raped her and Qin Su is ALSO an illegitimate child (another reason JGY decides he doesn’t hate JC for cock blocking him).

All this combined, Jin Guangshan is shamed off his throne. Jin ZiXuan takes up a lead and JGY (now renamed Jin Ziyao as is the proper generational name) decides he's happy with not being an asshole (since he's getting good dickings with his boyfriend NMJ and Lady Jin has finally stopped bullying him) and decides that he'd be content, even happy, being his brother's advisor rather than dethroning him for sect leadership.

But of course there's gotta be drama. Shi Su and Jin Zixun are not the smartest of people but they've teamed up with Xue Yang who has a bit of the Iron. Together, they start to plot against the sects to overrule them, because they're dumb idiots with a semblance of power.

That's about as far as my brain went when I fell asleep and then this morning when the brain fog focused on that instead of on work while I was waking up.

Just something about 13 years later, JC and LXC are pretty close but not lovers yet, when something-something adventure and JC and LXC become a thing in a similar manner that WWX and LWJ did in the novel. RANDOM CONFESSION TIME that other people have to point out to them!

The following is related conversation but I don’t want to put my friend’s part so... it’s disjointed. Sorry not sorry I’m tired.

Continued conversation about wangxian being together:

because JC already knew they'd be together from the show/novel, and LXC shipped them, so they teamed up to get them to confess

That's what I meant when JC forced them onto a romantic boat ride together.

They weren't parted from the Wen fight stuff so instead of fighting at Nightless City, they had time to realize their feelings and not die instead of confess. ;p

Conversation... conversation...

So for so long JC doesn't know he's into guys (LXC in particular, kinda like SQQ in SVSSS) but just like JC in the novel, he gets himself blacklisted from the matchmakers. Meanwhile, this whole time his very close friend, LXC (they're really close now since JGY and NMJ are a couple so he doesn't like to third wheel it and instead spend his time with JC) things that JC is straight and lowkey crushes on him for 13-16 years before WWX and LWJ have to spell it out to them.

but Lan have a-yuan as adopted heir

He'd (JC) probably ask Jinli if one of her kids could be heir

What if Jin Zixun tries to take the sect leader throne or something. He'd be next in line if jin Zixuan didn't die and JGY didn't step up.

[four-loose-screws]

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation (Gen II) - Chapter 3

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

If you are interested in donating to support my work, please check out my Ko-fi here. Thank you!

———————————

Chapter 3 - Larcei, My Love

T/W: Cousin incest and brief rape mention.

“I don't want to fight.”

Iuchar, King Danan's middle son, said to himself over and over again as he prepared for battle.

Iuchar was well-known as a brave axe knight, and wasn't the type to hold back in a fight. However, this time, he found himself feeling hesitant.

He checked that none of his soldiers were near him, then muttered once more, "I don't want to fight."

He repeated those words over and over, trying to ascertain how he really felt...

He had two reasons not to fight. The first was that he was completely against the child hunts his father, Danan, had ordered, and the second was that Larcei was a member of the liberation army.

Danan was every bit like his father, Lombard: cruel, arrogant, greedy, and quick to become infuriated when others didn't agree with him.

When he received the news that Ganeishire Castle had fallen to the rebel army led by Seliph, Danan summoned all of the commanding officers serving as castle lords to Rivough Castle and ranted at them, as he always did.

"Ganeishire was taken by a ragtag rebel army of peasants!? What is the meaning of this!? You should all be ashamed of yourselves! Even you, Iuchar! Your castle is the closest one to Ganeishire! Why didn't you try to send reinforcements!?"

'I did, but by that time, the castle had already fallen!' He started to say, but stopped himself. He knew that saying his thoughts aloud would just add fuel to the fire.

"My reputation is ruined! If the empire were to find out about this, what would His Majesty think!? Listen up, Iuchar, Iucharba! I want you two to deploy immediately, and fight with all you've got. Their numbers are small. If you surround them in a field, then it should be an easy win. Don't show them any mercy! Kill them all! Especially those I am about to call out now. They are the instigators of this rebellion. Whoever kills them will receive a bounty. You must come back with their heads!"

After starting with the traitor Sigurd's son, Seliph, he called out seven more names: Shanan, Oifey, Diarmuid, Lester, Ulster, and Larcei.

'Larcei!' The moment he heard her name, Iuchar's heart skipped a beat. 'So she's part of the rebel army?'

He'd first met her two years ago at a summer festival that he snuck out to attend. 

A beautiful girl with gorgeous black eyes dancing in a circle with several others caught his attention, so he started talking to her. While her response was blunt, it actually made him fall in love for the very first time. Her masculine way of speaking was very fresh and new to him.

After talking to her for a while, she finally told him her name, and they made plans for their next meeting.

Since then, they'd met up about once every two months. But although they met, it didn't mean that Iuchar realized how he felt about her. They simply went on a picnic when the weather was nice, or to a restaurant in a random village when it was cold, and talked for two or three hours.

Her behavior never once changed. Whenever his words were even a bit sweet, she was relentless in pointing it out. Strangely, he didn't find it unpleasant.

'Whenever Father's words are harsh, he's angry, so why isn't it the same with Larcei?'

Once he thought very carefully about it, he realized the reason why.

His father only ever thought about himself. In contrast, Larcei's thoughts were never about her own personal gain. Her words may have been sharp, but they had no ill will. Rather, there were even times when she spoke like that for his own good.

For example, when he first learned about the child hunts, he simply thought "They're bad!" and left it at that. He didn't feel that they concerned him. However, when talking to Larcei, she explained that such acts would destroy society, and he came to be firmly against them.

As the son of a king and lord of an Isaachian castle, he'd always seen the world through that lens, but thanks to Larcei, he was now able to think from the standpoint of each and every parent and child.

While traveling home to Rivough Castle, he was accompanied for part of the way by his younger brother, Iucharba, lord of Sophia Castle.

"This battle is pretty serious, huh?" Iucharba muttered.

"You think so, too? I have the same feeling."

"Larcei was one of the names amongst the instigators, right? I know her, actually."

His brother's words startled Iuchar, but he didn't know how to respond right away.

"I think I have a crush on her, so please, Big Brother, don't kill her. Spare only her. I’ll beg Father afterwards, and tell him I just want to save her life, whatever it takes.”

Iuchar missed his chance to speak his true feelings, and only responded by silently nodding.

'Maybe Larcei likes Iucharba back. But if she does, then why did she spend time with me?'

The two parted ways, and as Iuchar continued back to Rivough Castle, that was the only thing he could think about.

'If she does like him…' Every time he had that thought, his chest burned with jealousy.

'Then why did she hang out with me?' That thought gave him a bit of hope.

'Or maybe she met with us to change our minds?' That last thought filled him with the sinking feeling that he'd been led on.

'But, if she did lead me on, then what? Do I fight her?'

In the end, he decided that he didn't want to fight her.

-

The members of Iuchar's cavalry unit met up at the place they'd agreed upon and prepared for battle.

As they marched, several of his soldiers broke away from the group to pillage a nearby village, but he didn't have the energy to stop them.

Late into the afternoon, one of the soldiers rushed up to him and reported, "A person carrying a white flag is approaching us!"

"Are they an enemy?"

"We believe so. They appear to be a woman."

'Could it be… Larcei?' He immediately thought. 'I want to meet her and see what she has to say.'

"Alright then, I'm going to meet her. I'll be fine on my own. Stay here, everyone." Iuchar said, and galloped ahead.

The closer he got, the faster his heart pounded in his chest.

'That silhouette… it has to be Larcei's! I knew it! It is her!'

He stopped beside her, and while still on his horse, asked, "Larcei, have you come to surrender?"

"Don't be stupid! We would never!"

"Then what is the white flag for?"

"To try and stop the fight, so we can make a proposal."

"Why?"

"We're trying to change this world, where child hunts are carried out every day. Our final goal is to topple the empire and the Loptr Church, but first, we must defeat your father, Danan, here in Isaach. But I do not want to kill you, so I am requesting we call a ceasefire."

"So you're telling me to disobey my father's orders?"

"You are half Isaachian."

Those four words dredged up the memories he'd buried deep within his mind.

His mother had not been a princess, but a woman Danan found and kidnapped from her village.

In about three months time, he’d gotten bored of her. He would no longer look at her, and treated her as a common maid. All Isaachian women were beneath horses to him.

She died during childbirth, so Iuchar had no memories of a mother's kindness.

Whenever he cried as a child, he was immediately told, "Your mother was always crying! That's why you're a crybaby!"

He hated it, and learned to hold back his tears. He was even inspired to become a soldier because he didn’t want to be used as an example proving that his mother was weak.

'Mother was just forced to suffer a horrible fate because of Father! She wasn't weak. I am proof of that! How am I weak!?' Iuchar had thought to himself when he once won a horseback riding contest.

"I'm taking that as a yes. We'll continue down this path tomorrow morning.”

Larcei's words snapped him back to reality. 

“W-wait. You’ve met Iucharba, haven’t you?”

“I have. I wanted to teach Danan’s sons what is right. But…”

"But what?"

"I came straight to your unit. Do you know what that means?"

Those words confused him. 'What is she trying to say?'

"I'm heading back now. See you."

"W-wait! What if I don’t agree to the ceasefire?"

"Well, I can't do anything about that. I'll come leading my soldiers tomorrow. If you say you approve of the child hunts, then you and I will fight one on one, understand?" She said, then turned around and went back the way she came.

-

That night, he couldn't stop thinking about what she meant.

'I've always felt refreshed after meeting with Larcei, but today was somehow different.’

After feeling lost all night long, he finally reached his conclusion.

‘That’s it, that’s what she was getting at! Larcei knows that if I was that confused, she was able to convince me. But that doesn’t mean that I came to my own conclusion. If I agree to a ceasefire with her, I'll be turning my back on both the empire and my father. In other words, I'll be throwing away who I've been until now. If I threw it all away only because I was convinced by her, I might regret it later. But if I made my choice all on my own, then...’

With that thought, he fell asleep, though he hadn't yet decided what to do. 

-

He woke up the next morning feeling completely refreshed.

After breakfast, he saw the rebel army marching towards them in the distance.

"We still have thirty minutes until we fight! You can get ready without having to panic." Iuchar said to his subordinates while walking between their tables.

After cleaning up from breakfast, they got into formation, and began to march.

The rebel army was marching in one big group, while Iuchar and Iucharba's units were in "Crane Formation," a vertical line shaped formation that looked like a crane's wings spread out wide.

'If we stay like this, we can attack by surrounding them from both sides, and claim an easy victory.' Iuchar thought, but then realized that Larcei probably knew that's what he would do.

Larcei was leading her unit, walking ahead of them on her own, as she'd promised.

'She must know, and that's why she's been risking her own life like this since yesterday.'

He was overwhelmed with feelings of how beautiful she was. It was a different love than he'd ever felt for her before. He was seeing her not only as someone of the opposite sex, but also as her own person.

Iuchar halted his soldiers, and walked ahead alone.

He and Larcei stopped about ten meters from each other.

She was clearly nervous. The sight of that expression on her face made him realize how lovely she was all over again. 

"Oh, Larcei… My love!” He called out loudly, sounding almost as if he was singing.

Larcei stared at him, completely dumbfounded.

"The day our fate is realized has finally come!"

"What are you talking about, Iuchar!? Did you eat something funny?"

"Larcei...

Your voice is like the song of a small bird

Your eyes sparkle like the stars

Ah, I think…

I can no longer live without you…"

"Stop it! You're making me sick! This is a battlefield. Have you gone mad!?"

"No, I am quite sane. I made a poem for you, though you didn't seem to like it very much. My words are no lie, though. I will show you the proof right now." Iuchar said, then turned around.

"Everyone, from now on, we will fight alongside the liberation army, and put an end to the awful child hunts! Starting today, we fight for love, justice, and Larcei!”

His soldiers all cheered in unison, surprising Iuchar, as he thought he'd have to join the liberation army on his own. However, his soldiers were mostly Isaachians, and agreed with him.

'Just about everyone finds the child hunts unacceptable.'

Seeing Iuchar try to team up with the liberation army made Iucharba go wild with jealousy and rage.

"Dammit! How dare Brother run ahead and ally with Larcei!? Now I can never forgive her! I'll kill every last one of them! All soldiers! Attack!"

Iucharba led his soldiers, and ran not for the rebel army, but Iuchar's army.

The battle immediately became harsh. Both armies were made up of well trained soldiers, so neither side was superior or inferior to the other. However, once the liberation army joined in to support Iuchar's army, the outcome was quickly decided.

-

Afterwards, the main force of the liberation army continued to march, as they'd decided they wanted to make it to Isaach Castle that day.

Around two in the afternoon, they saw a pillar of smoke coming from the direction of Isaach Castle. And when they got even closer, a cloud of dust rose up ahead of them.

"What do you think that’s about, Prince Iuchar?" Oifey guided his horse next to Iuchar's and asked.

"I think General Schmitt and his cavalry are responsible."

"Are they strong?"

"Yes, and quite so."

"Then we should probably retreat for now, I'm guessing?"

"There's a village atop the left hand side of the hill.  I think we should go protect it."

The liberation army decided to take Iuchar's advice and retreated, then barricaded themselves within the village. The town was surrounded by a steep slope, so as long as they guarded the village's entrance, the enemy wouldn't be able to invade.

Schmidt's cavalry unit soon came to attack the village. They took turns charging the entrance and throwing javelins inside. The cavalry seemed to be well trained in this maneuver, as they put up a consistent, stubborn fight. If they had attacked in an area where they could put their horses' mobility to use, they probably would have been able to do a lot of damage. 

However, Oifey's and Iuchar's units took turns protecting the entrance, and did not let the enemy invade the village. Any of Schmidt's soldiers that traveled the village perimeter looking for another entrance were met with Lester's arrows and Arthur's meteors.

As the calvary took more and more damage, both the soldiers and their horses started to look tired. When the time was right, Seliph shouted,"Okay, counterattack now! Everyone, chaaaarge!"

With their speed greatly hampered, the cavalry no longer had any strength left. The course of the battle changed so quickly that it was as if the two sides had never been evenly matched at all.

While the liberation army was resting up after the battle, Seliph approached Iuchar and said, "Prince Iuchar, thanks to you, we were able to save our allies. Thank you."

"Don't mention it! We're allies! And by the way, I'm not a prince anymore. I threw that title away earlier today."

"I understand, Iuchar. I look forward to working with you."

"Yeah, same here!"

-

They spent the night at the village, and arrived at Isaach Castle the next day around noon.

What Iuchar saw was there was a castle in ruin. The areas made of stone were left intact, but the rest was destroyed, torn apart, or on fire. Everything of value had been stolen.

'Father must have gotten angry and ordered this in response to my betrayal. But I actually feel relieved.'

Rivough Castle was surrounded on three sides, so the liberation army decided to wait for a while before carrying out a full attack on it. They were hoping that upon seeing their numbers, the Isaachian soldiers would come to surrender. As they'd predicted, over the course of five days, many of the soldiers snuck out of Rivough, and joined the liberation army.

When it came time to finally start the attack, they broke down the castle gate, and Iuchar led the front line into the castle. The remaining enemy soldiers didn't try to fight, instead rushing towards the main building, dismounting their horses, and running inside. 

Iuchar’s father was sitting on the throne, encased in a full suit of armor.

Iuchar readied his battle axe and slowly approached him.

"What is this? Are you trying to turn your blade against your own father?"

Iuchar didn't answer.

Danan stood up and grabbed his own axe.

Iuchar walked up to the staircase leading to the throne. The three sets of stairs his father was standing atop of made him look very tall.

'In our current positions, I'd lose the fight for sure.' Iuchar thought. 

His father didn't seem interested in giving up the high ground, so they glared at each other for a while longer.

His father's gaze made him try to remember what their relationship had been like until now. He'd been a person Iuchar couldn't possibly compare to, and tried to make him obey every order without question.

'I must forget the past, and think of what he's done! To the children, and the villagers, and my mother!'

However, it was hard to keep the exact same thoughts in his mind. Still, he tried his hardest to endure, and not give up.

He didn't know how much time had passed. Sweat broke out on his forehead.

Then--

"Iuchar!"

He heard someone scream.

It was just for a moment, but he looked away from his opponent.

That was when Danan jumped.

He tried to swing his axe at Iuchar's torso, but Iuchar was a split second faster, and dashed towards his chest.

Iuchar swung down his axe, smashing his father's helmet and lodging his weapon into the top of Danan’s head.

Iuchar heard his father's axe fall on the floor.

"Iuchar!" Larcei rushed up to him.

He slowly turned around.

"Iuchar! Thank goodness you're safe!"

-

After that, she tried to avoid him. He wondered why, but the look of relief on her face told him everything.

"I'm sorry, Iuchar. When I realized just how much you'd been forced to throw away, I couldn't bring myself to look at you. But then, when I saw you rush into the castle…"

"Don't worry about it, Larcei. The things I threw away meant nothing to me. What I gained is worth so much more."

A small smile lit up her face.

It was the first time Iuchar had ever seen her make such a kind expression.

[sergeanttpoliteness]

➹teenage vows➹(peter b. parker x fem!reader)

Requested by anon➝   hi!! is it alright to request some peter b parker x fem!reader confession/proposal scene? tysm ❤❤

It’s time Peter caught up to some promises he made long ago. Like, embarrassingly long ago.

word count: 6k

a/n: hello! hope whoever’s reading this is having a good day bc u deserve it. just a heads up, but i think i’m gonna post a lot slower bc school starts tomorrow (pls kill me) and i gotta work hard if i want to get in a good college, y’know. gross. but anyway, i hope whoever requested it likes it! i had so much fun writing it and it’s rlly sweet and short, my heart is warm. i promise i’ll be uploading part 2 of one make out session next, idk when but i’m working on it (: enjoy!

It was moments like these— the ones where you flashed him teary smile, and reassured him that you didn't mind him leaving you for the night to go and save the city desperate for his protection— that Peter desired to pause the outside world just so it could be you and you only; no agonizing battles, no villains tearing him to pieces, no delinquents threatening the safety of others when they could barely even withstand a punch. Because just as much as everyone else, you needed him; and as guilty as it made him feel, he pondered the possibility of putting away the mantle of the Spiderling for a single night as he perched on the window sill hesitating, wearing his suit, his mask not fully on yet. But you both knew no such thing was an option whilst the news played loudly in the background, the piercing wails of the police sirens multiplying with each passing moment. You simply grasped the fabric and covered his face, smirking as you slowly walked away from the aperture. "Go save some civilians, Spider-Boy." You couldn't see it, but he grinned behind his disguise, for that nickname which would've bothered him if it'd come from someone else's mouth had set his heart ablaze ever since you two were just some kids; and the flare persisted, even as fervent bodies molded into jaded souls, beaten down by the colossal waves of changes and cataclysms that collided into you one after another.

That day you'd been victim of too many tides.

The evening that unfolded wasn't the one Peter planned. Not at all. Life was anything but a fairy tale; his surely wasn't close to being one, but he'd conjure that magic— transform reality into a children's book with your arms around his neck, his around your waist, your lips close, a soft amorous graze, your living room as the ballroom as you two gently swayed until the clock struck midnight. He'd plotted all the details, from the scent of the candles to every compliment he'd utter. Perhaps he worried too much, but it's what your love demanded, what you deserved, a happily ever after, and he'd oblige the heavens to bring you just that. More calamities were what the cosmos had in mind for you and Peter, though, a sour reality-shattering reminder of how nonsensical wasting time in dreaming of that fairy story was.

The first blow hit you (quite literally) just minutes after you woke up, and Peter accidentally knocked a cupboard into your nose. 'How was your morning?' Your coworker asked, the steaming vapor of her coffee clouding her glasses. You went cross-eyed as you glanced down at the gauze on your nose, briefly recalling the previous events— gushing blood, too much for your liking, maybe a broken nose, who knows, and a string of Peter's apologies flying at you at the speed of light as he placed the bandage over your wound. You wore a tight-lipped smile and shrugged while you were unabashedly dishonest— 'oh, you know, same old'. Yeah, because your boyfriend unintentionally breaking your nose (it's not broken, you insisted) was a normal thing, right? Then came the second slap to your face as a revelation; remembrance dawned upon you, your speeding brain screeching to a halt, and you sighed into your hands. It was you and Peter's two year anniversary.

The man spent the entirety of his work blasting himself; it hadn't slipped his memory, unlike you (which was a surprise, seeing how your enthusiasm the day prior could easily be compared to a child's in a candy store), but after his imbecility and shame, how could he not forget to kiss your forehead and bring you breakfast to your bed as a sweet morning surprise the same way you did last year? It didn't stop there— oh, no, it did not— for then came the third inconvenience of the day: goddamn Jameson went on another rant about him— or well, Spider-Man; not a phenomenon, really, you get used to it, but it was at the worst time possible. He timed it: fifteen whole minutes of his booming voice and curses, 'more pictures of the menace!' or whatever, as if Peter didn't already feel ludicrous enough while taking pictures of himself, or the twenty pictures scattered across his boss' desk were a meager effort. An unwanted setback, although he arrived back home nevertheless, scurrying to your bedroom and clumsily removing his clothes along the way. Suit? Check. Clean-shaven face? Check. That one fragrance which turned you on? Check that, too. Roses?

"Ah, shit." He muttered as he took the cooking pot from the cabinet. Roses. Stupid Jameson and his obsession with Spidey— he forgot to stop by the flower shop. It was alright, though, he could deal with it; no flowers? No problem. Just... the food needed to be good, restaurant-type of cuisine, and taking in mind he wasn't a terrific cook, it'd be quite the challenge. Peter lit the lighter, his hand on the stove's knob, prepared to ignite the burner, but he swore it'd suddenly come to life and taunted him, laughed at his upcoming defeat. He narrowed his eyes at the object, somewhat intimidated, when the front door slammed open. He peered up at the clock hanging on the wall. You were back ahead of time, a lot earlier than he'd anticipated; he didn't even have all the ingredients out yet. He alleviated the clutching in his chest with a deep breath before rushing over to the small portable stereo (you two really needed an upgrade), his finger pressing down on a button. He was satisfied with the soft tunes from the random jazz station and scratched the back of his neck as he went to greet you.

"Hey! You're... early." Saying that your appearance was rough would've been uncalled for, but your scowl and glossy eyes kindled that concern in the pit of his stomach. It was another punch, one that caught him off guard as he frowned and immediately wrapped his arms around you. "Hey, what's wrong?" His worry evoked a pang of guilt in you, and you thought about pulling away, but you couldn't, instead digging your nose deeper into the crook of his neck.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just..." You reassured, your tense shoulders relaxing since God, you could breathe in that cologne of his, and he smelled so good. "You look hot."

You sensed his breath catch in his throat before he chuckled, rubbing the small of your back. "I'm glad you think that, but let's talk about you, alright?" You lifted your head to meet his gaze, smiling weakly when he placed a careful kiss on your temple. You squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head.

"I got a speeding ticket. Two hundred."

Fifth strike.

He blinked, processing your confession, his eyes slowly growing big. "Two hundred?!" You were expecting it; it was a normal reaction, yet you squirmed, flailing your hands as you attempted to explain yourself.

"I'm sorry—"

"Why? How?"

"I'm sorry," You repeated, your hands on top of your head. "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I'm so dumb, and we were saving for the trip but I just fucking ruined it. You deserve a vacation, Pete, I'm so sorry I'm like this." You spoke fast, pulling at your hair with frustration as you walked back and forth in front of him.

"Y/N..." He sighed, upset, of course, but forgiving. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It was just a mistake and we'll get through it, okay?" Your pacing ceased, skepticism crossing your face. "Yeah! The vacation can wait just for a bit. It'll be even more rewarding, anyway." He said with a beam, cupping your cheeks. You didn't know where the rare optimism came from, but you laughed at your lover, the remorse fortifying because you truly did not deserve the tolerance. On the spur of the moment, your fingers threaded through his hair and you pulled him in, urgent lips against his own soft ones. He couldn't help the subtle moan he emitted, dazed by your sudden lust as you spilled all your fervor and hunger into him; all emotion drained from every one of your cells, your fist gripping his jacket, tugging him as close to you as possible, bodies flush together, wrinkling the formerly smooth fabric, yet it wasn't enough.

His hand sneaked inside your shirt, riding up your back; but he paused and groaned, breaking apart from your blissful mouth. "After dinner, but right now I need you to help me because I haven't even gotten started with the food yet." He panted, abstaining from flinging all his cares far away and caving into your luring warmth to please you. Your mouth curved into a smile and you rolled your eyes, pushing him toward the kitchen.

He immediately got back to work, filling the large pot with water, but you stopped at the entrance and glanced down at your outfit. "I should get changed, shouldn't I?"

Peter turned around, shamelessly eyeing your body with desire. "You look perfect." You snorted.

"Peter, you're wearing a suit and I'm still in my work clothes."

"Maybe I... overdid it a bit?" He admitted with a bashful twitch of his lips. He took off his suit jacket, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows while you stole his discarded coat. He didn't notice until you put it on, quirking a brow. "You playing dress up or what?"

"This is it. This is what I'm gonna wear." You declared, raising your arms to show off your glorious look."

Peter bit his lip, a grin breaking out across his face, staring at you as if you were a divine entity, the physical proof of the existence of the heavens above as you straightened the creases. "You look silly." Adorable, he corrected himself internally.

"Nuh-uh, sir, I look hot." You scoffed, although you didn't look silly nor hot, but rather like a little kid who went through an exploration in his father's closet. You'd made up your mind, though; sacrificing a good-looking outfit sounded thousands of times better than actually making the effort to appear decent. You finished your five-second fashion exhibition before a full-blown runway commenced when your stomach rumbled, and summoned your inner chef, standing beside Peter. "You deal with the pasta, I'm gonna pick the salad because there's no way to mess that up."

"I'm the fuck-up, so shouldn't it be the other way around?" He muttered, and as if on cue, he almost spilled the dry pasta noodles all over the counter after miscalculating his strength and tore the bag open. His eyes drifted to you, and just like he predicted, you sported a judgmental expression. "I've got it."

"I dunno, I feel like if I give you a knife you're gonna somehow accidentally stab me." You chuckled, gesturing to the knife in your grasp. His face twisted with remorse. "I'm not feeling so lucky today."

"How's, uh, how's your nose doing?" He questioned, fault gnawing on him. It was the third time the man asked you, the first one being before you left for work, and the remaining a phone call and message during your shift. You, indubitably, told him everything was splendid, as if you didn't almost cry from the pain right after you waved goodbye to him and closed your front door.

"It's okay," You shrugged, despite the sting in the bridge of your nose. "Yeah, you know, it doesn't really hurt. Okay, no, that's a lie— it hurts a bit, but it's not something I can't handle."

"I'm so, so sorry I broke your nose. That was a really dick move."

"It's not broken!" You corrected him, pointing your finger at him. "It's fine. Don't worry, it just looks broken."

"If it looks broken, then it's broken."

"Since when are you a doctor?"

The corner of his lips tugged upwards as he added the pasta to the boiling water. "Y/N, getting my nose broken is my second job."

"Okay, whatever. I've heard the word 'broken' enough times today." You giggled, but then nibbled on your cheek while you began to slice a tomato. "Hey, I need to tell you something."

He swallowed, his throat all of a sudden dry. He opened his mouth to speak, but the abrupt ringing of his phone drove his attention to the device. "Hold on," He took it out of his pocket, his brows knitting together as he checked the screen. Your chest tightened after you sneaked a glimpse of the caller ID. "MJ? Hi!" He greeted, his voice way too cheery and his gaze still on you.

Your chopping came to a halt and you settled the knife on the cutting board. Her voice was clear, audible, yet you couldn't properly distinguish any of her words. Peter hummed as you held onto the counter, your knuckles turning white when his features broke out into a wide grin. "That's great! See, I told you you'd get through it."

Get through it, you reiterated in your head, the sixth wave crashing into your hot-blooded body.

"Yeah... yeah. You too. Night." He finally hung up, and your hand found itself on your hip.

"MJ?" You inquired, your eyebrows raised. He resumed his cooking, his phone forgotten on the countertop and you shot daggers at it.

"Yeah, she just wanted to tell me something."

"Tell you something?"

A crease appeared between his eyebrows and he looked at you sideways, confused. "A problem she fixed."

"Huh. I see." You grumbled, your brows scrunched together. Peter turned to face you, folding his arms across his chest.

"What?"

You met his stare. "What?"

"You're annoyed. I can tell."

"I'm not annoyed." You countered, squinting.

"Yeah, you are, 'cause you're doing that thing with your eyebrows—" He waved his hand, motioning toward your face. You mirrored his stance, doing exactly what he pointed out. "They get really expressive when you're mad."

"Suddenly, there's something wrong with my eyebrows?" You knew you were reaching, but the irritation dominated your mouth. Peter stammered in disbelief, briskly shaking his head.

"What?! Y/N, I did not say that at all."

You leaned against the kitchen counter, your lips tight until you were talking again. "You know, I just think it's kinda weird."

Peter looked heavenward, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh, here we go." He took in a deep breath, peeved. "What?"

"How you and Mary Jane have been calling each other so much lately." You mumbled, hugging yourself.

"What about it?"

Now you were the incredulous one. "What about it? Peter, it's weird."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, but explain why." He said, exasperated.

Your jaw tightened and you picked up the knife before restarting with the slashing of the food, your hold of the tool harsh. "I don't really need to explain myself."

"Well, I want you to!"

"Alright, you want to know why it's weird? You want me to tell you?" Your tone grew louder.

"Yes, please! Go on!" Peter nodded, voice equally as bitter. You scraped the sliced tomatoes off of the cutting board with the knife, careless about where they landed, and clutched a second vegetable.

"She's your ex." You hissed. He had to momentarily walk away, although not too far considering the restricted place. He rubbed his face, holding up two fingers with his other hand.

"That was two years ago. Almost three."

"Your ex-wife!"

"I know what she is, Y/N, but there's no need to be worried. There's a reason why it didn't work out."

"It's kinda hard not to worry when she's calling you all the time, apparently telling you about all the problems in her life and who knows what else. I bet you call her to complain about me, or something." You poked his chest with a pickle.

He pushed the cucumber away with his finger, laughing. "Oh my god, you're being so ridiculous right now."

"I'm allowed to be ridiculous right now!" You shouted, slamming the green edible on the piece of wood.

"We're just friends! I can't even believe I have to say this!"

You shot him a sneer. "How can you just be friends with your ex?"

"Well, that's what we were after we broke up the first time, no?" He claimed, his forehead creased. You grew quiet and weakly dug the blade into the cucumber.

"That's different, I was your best friend. I am your best friend." You whispered, but he wasn't taking it.

He tilted his head back, his eyes closed. "It's really not different."

"It is!" You persisted, "We were kids, and I was friends with Gwen, so obviously it's not like I even thought about trying something."

"You think MJ is trying something?"

You blinked furiously, lifting one shoulder. "You know we never got along that well!"

Peter took a step closer to you, holding himself up with his hand on the counter. "She wouldn't ever do that, Y/N, no matter how bad things are between you two." You rolled your eyes.

"How would you know?"

God, you truly were driving him crazy. He began to tap his foot, groaning. "How would I know? How would I know? We were together for sixteen years, I know a lot more than you do!"

"Sixteen years, no way there still wouldn't be some sort of feelings." You lowly told yourself, but he still listened. He squeezed his hands closed and his view landed on the bundle of bananas inside a basket. He ripped one, peeling it open and taking a large bite, his infuriation pushing him to stress-eat. You heard him exclaim, as if he'd managed to remember an idea long repressed.

"What about that one guy you're always talking with? Thomas, was it?" He began, his mouth full. You whispered 'oh my god' as he swallowed before continuing. "You two dated, didn't you?"

You placed your hand on your chest, unbelieving that he decided to complain about the most insignificant guy in your relationship. "Peter, he's my coworker."

"Well, it's kinda hard not to worry!" He mocked you, flailing his arm.

"Fucking hell."

"He's all attractive and shit, with his eight-pack, expensive car, and twenty dogs. Real boyfriend material, huh?" He clenched his teeth, his hands trembling with the overwhelming jealousy.

You peered up at him, your eyes soft. "I would never hurt you like that."

"Exactly!" He gently held your shoulders, hopeful that you finally understood you absurd your worries were. "Neither would I! Ever."

"You broke up with me once, why would you not do it again?!" You shoved his hands off of you. Despair clawed at your heart, poisoned your insides with its foul venom, constricting your lungs, wetting your eyes.

Your words and crestfallen features subsided his fury, like a powerful breeze extinguishing a flickering candle, a gleam of sunlight reaching out through heavy sullen clouds, clearing his sight. His face fell, his fingers twitching, aching to touch you. "Y/N..."

You cracked, lost control, lashed out all your anguish on the food you cut. "You left me for Gwen! After three years!" Your cutting sped up, loud and quick clanks echoing across the room. "You said you loved me! A-and I believed you!" You sobbed, yet no tears would spill; only built up rage as you snagged a second tomato and stabbed it harder, the blade dangerously close to your finger.

"You're gonna hurt yourself." Peter warned, watching as you ignored him and only went faster, harder, your hand beginning to cramp up.

"But then you didn't love me, you loved her, and everything you said became complete bullshit and just lies! All those stupid promises and your fucking vows," You couldn't see anymore, your vision too blurry, but you didn't slow down. "What was I supposed to do other than just be happy for you? Because I had to be a good friend, and I just wanted you to be happy—"

"Y/N—"

You felt the knife close to your finger. "And what if it happens again? Mary Jane is perfect, you two were perfect; maybe one day you'll regret you chose me at the end—" Peter's hand shot out and captured the knife. You closed your mouth and blinked your tears away, your eyes then growing wide, for the blade hung right above your finger.

He moved it to the side and away from your resting hand, his grasp shaky. "I told you you were gonna hurt yourself." He breathed out.

The radio remained barely audible before, almost as if its presence were missing, but as silence overtook the room— heavy, asphyxiating, weighing down on both of you, crushing you with no mercy— it made your skull pulse. You laid the cutting tool back down, your gaze fixed ahead of you.

"My boss laid me off today." You saw through your peripheral vision how his head jerked up. "That's why I got back home early. And why I got the speeding ticket." You revealed, ashamed. Peter gulped, trying to dive to the surface, float in the flooded wreckage you two were trapped in.

"I'm sorry."

"What do you mean? It's not your fault." You looked at him, but it was quick. "And it's not my fault, either. I guess the trip will have to wait longer than we expected." You sadly joked.

He didn't say anything. He simply approached you, slowly and quiet, and soon his arms were around you. You grew weak to his embrace and squeezed him, inhaling deeply, holding back the tears once again that day— you didn't even know, really, you'd lost count. 

The universe wouldn't hand you the quietude you had craved so easily, though, because without warning, Peter began to usher you far from the stove. "Wait, wha—" A bang cut you off and you yelped while Peter unconsciously pulled you closer to him. You heard clinking, a shattering sound as something rained over the floor. You both slowly glanced back, still hugging each other.

"What the hell?" You gasped when you saw the large crack running up the stove top, various small ones branching out from it, and glass littering almost all of your kitchen. Peter's body shook and you stared up at his nervous grin.

"I told you we had the change the stove."

You two began to laugh— not a normal response to your stove exploding, indeed; perhaps it was an odd way to cope with the pain, but Peter ran his fingers through his hair as he chuckled.

"I should've listened." You smiled at him, and your mind turned to mush when he returned the expression.

"Good evening, everyone— I'm sorry to interrupt, I know that tonight is 'only music' night." The music ended and a dopey voice spoke instead; a guy who'd most definitely hit a few too many blunts.

"What kind of station did you chose?" You asked your boyfriend, your face scrunched up. He shrugged, just as clueless as you were.

"I don't know, it was on when I switched on the radio." However, your ears perked up when the man carried on.

"Just in case you haven't watched the news yet, I wanted to tell you to please stay away from Times Square. There's some crazy stuff going on there, man, it's nuts, and the police are arriving on the scene. But..." Peter looked at you, his eyes sad with guilt. Realization hit you like a truck, your heart almost stopping.

It was the final straw.

"No... no, please, Pete." You started to breathe heavily, your lower lip trembling. He held your hands, kissing your knuckles apologetically.

"I'm so sorry." The tears flowed free, and it broke him further.

"Everything's been going wrong today, p-please, I don't want anything bad happening to you." You begged. But he was already leaving the kitchen, and you yelled out a frustrated curse. You ran to the living room, searching for the remote control, then fell to your knees as you saw it under the coffee table, instantly snatching it. You desperately wiggled the remote when it didn't work, but moments later the TV lit up, and you jumped from channel to channel, seeking for the news. You raised your hand up to your mouth, your shoulders shuddering from the horrific footage— the hopelessness, the explosions, the fire. You heard the first siren outside.

You felt a tender hand on your shoulder, the indication of what you feared the most, of the dreaded goodbye lurking in all your nightmares. You were fully submerged into the screen, enough that you hadn't noticed Peter standing behind you. "This was not the night I planned." He said, staring down at the ground. " We were gonna have a nice dinner, maybe even dance like you enjoy to do sometimes, and then... I don't know, but I'm sorry. You deserved it." He confessed, sorrowful and sincere.

You placed your hand on his hard chest, over the spider emblem of his suit. You didn't waste any time and kissed him, a passion different from earlier; different from the arousal, the heat at the pit of your stomach, the goosebumps spreading all over your skin. Now it was just as forceful, just as needy, but it tasted like innocent affection, like a refuge for a terrified child from a spine-chilling thunderstorm, the assurance that the downpour would pass. You cherished every second, the way he clung onto your waist with as much urgency, his breathing as he ended what he hoped was just another kiss and not the last one. It tore you down to nothingness, but it's what you signed up for the moment you fell in love with him, and you truly did not regret it. Never.

Your foreheads rested against each other, your hands trailing up to his shoulders. "Happy two year anniversary." He grinned. You pecked him one last time.

"Happy two year anniversary."

It was the usual routine: he went to the window, putting his mask over his head, not bothering to brush away his hair, and he looked back at you. Stay, you both thought as you followed him. You held yourself back, though, for you knew that if you asked him to, he would. You tugged his mask down, covering his face. "Go save some civilians, Spider-Boy. I love you." His white eyes were wide, taking you in wholly.

"I love you, too."

You undid the button of Peter's suit jacket for the twentieth time in a row, the action a momentary consolation as your eyes lingered on the flat screen; however, your mind drifted away somewhere in the vastness of space, distant from the images and your solitary apartment, revolving around a certain man you couldn't help but worry about. The broadcast should've been enough to relieve your fidgeting and the iciness that ran through your veins, because just like always, the superhero had saved the day, but you wouldn't ease into satisfaction until you had Peter in your arms— safe and sound, alive. That comfort arrived in the form of the window sliding open, and you jumped off your seat, wrapping your arms around your torso, watching as the red and blue figure slipped inside. He closed the window, holding his side, and he removed his mask with a swift motion, strands of hair sticking up while others fell graciously. You repressed the shocked gasp at his appearance; his bleeding and swollen lip, the cut running up his forehead, his nose which now looked just like yours if not a bit worse, and the forming bruise on his cheek.

You ran up to him and hugged him tightly. As gentle as you tried to be, it still hurt, but he didn't voice his pain. "I'm proud of you. You did great." You kissed his shoulder. He mumbled a 'yay!' and you let out a weak laugh, carefully pulling his arm. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up."

He tugged you back into him, his eyes droopy with exhaustion. "No."

Your eyebrows rose, confusion overtaking your face. "What?"

"Our date is not over yet."

You sucked in a breath, ignoring his ridiculous statement— he'd definitely received a rough blow to his head. "Peter, it's late, you need some rest—"

"Just, please." He urged. "Trust me." He bore his eyes burning with need into yours, frowning.

It was unbelievable, how Peter B. Parker could ask you to dress up as a hot dog and breakdance in the middle of the street and you'd comply, simply because it's what he wanted. You're weak, you told yourself, your hand in Peter's as you strolled down the pathway of the park; although you did force him to sit down and let you patch him up earlier, for only the man thought there was nothing wrong with leaving the house looking like you just came back from the fight club— ‘it's gonna heal soon’, he would whine as the roles reversed and you smoothed the gauze over his nose. He limped slightly while he picked a flower from a bush, another one for the growing collection in his fist, and you groaned loudly.

"Parker, seriously, I wouldn't have minded if we'd stayed back at home. Our anniversary doesn't need to be perfect." You said, expecting it'd knock some sense into him. He remained stubborn, though, inspecting the plants he held.

"Oh man, you said 'Parker', you must be serious." He wore a crooked smile and you narrowed your eyes at him. "Look, the day was far from perfect, so at least I want it to end well."

"I mean, this place is really nice." You acknowledged as you both stopped to admire a cherry blossom tree. Peter glanced sideways at you, his mouth twitching.

"Do you remember when we planned our wedding?"

You looked back at him and you both cringed, laughing after. "Ah, we did that, didn't we?" You crinkled your nose, recalling the night you and Peter lied on your twin bed; surrounded by heavy textbooks and colorful notes with illegible writing, in a haze from all the studying that you two started to make big, naive plans for a distant future, your head on his chest as he ran his fingers through your hair.  

"It was cute at the moment, but now that I think back, it was really stupid." He laughed. You swiped away the fallen flowers of the tree with your foot, nostalgia showering over you.

"Yeah... I wonder what sixteen-year-old me would think about thirty-eight-year-old me. Probably would be disappointed. At least she'd be happy I'm with you, though." You admitted softly, your skin prickling. "That's something her and I have in common."

Peter flashed you a half-smile. "Really?"

"Yeah," You grinned back, your eyes darting down to the petals he plucked. "Hey, don't kill it! What did it ever do to you?"

"It looked at me the wrong way." He smiled, shrugging. "I'm just nervous, that's it."

"What, you playing 'does she love me, does she love me not'?" You fluttered your eyelashes, the back of your hand on your forehead. He bit his lip, snickering, but then went poker-faced.

"It's a really serious game, Y/N." Your body lit up with laughter and he moved to face you, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he stared at you. "I want you to know that everything I said back then wasn't a lie. I meant every 'I love you' and promise I made."

You shoved your hands inside the pockets of his suit jacket (you probably should have changed, you realized), shifting your weight from one foot to another. "Pete, I know." You took out one hand to squeeze his bicep. "Forget everything I said earlier, alright? The jealousy just got to me and I said some dumb shit."

He shook his head, his fingers curling around your wrist. "No, but... I really did. And I've been thinking lately th-that maybe things with MJ didn't just work out because I was scared to have kids. I love you, Y/N. It's always been that way."

"Peter..." You rubbed his knuckles with your thumb, your heart glowing. "I love you, too."

"I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner."

You lifted a brow, puzzled. "Do what?" Your confusion dissolved when he dug his hand into his pocket, the color draining out of your face as he revealed a blue velvet box. You took a step back in disbelief, your hand cupping your cheek. "Parker, I swear to God."

"I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this moment." His voice wavered with nerves, the confirmation that this wasn't a sick prank he was pulling— not that he ever would hurt you in such way, anyway, but it was impossible not to feel lightheaded from the shock of witnessing a daydream you'd imagined for so long unfolding right in front of you, to not tremble as you waited for everything to slowly fade away as you woke up from another dream. His touch felt so real, though, so genuine, far from a fabricated illusion created just to satisfy a lurking desolation. "I wish I had known back then— God, I really do. But maybe I did kinda know, because after we discussed the whole dream wedding thing, I proposed to you." He recalled.

You sniffed, smiling. "You said it was practice for when we did get married."

He nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "It was not romantic at all." You both giggled, the ring he'd made out of a ripped piece of paper present in your memories.

You scanned your own outfit, wishing you'd looked much nicer for the occasion. "I look terrible right now."

"And so do I, but I don't care, because my heart still does that thing when it's the afternoon and you haven't showered yet."

"You're ridiculous."

"I know."

A deep rumble in the sky shook the ground beneath your feet and Peter looked up, letting out an exasperated sigh when droplets of rain pattered down on you. "Yeah, way to ruin the moment, weather. Thanks."

You lifted your hand to cover your face from the light drizzle, miniature beads of water on your eyelashes. "You know we can't afford a wedding right now, right?" You asked him, the corner of your lips tugged upwards.

His cheeks expanded as he let out air through his pressed lips. "I know. We gotta get that new stove."

"Our bed broke."

"Speeding ticket."

"I lost my job."

"You need a new nose." He tapped his own nose, which was a bad idea after he twisted his face in discomfort.

"It's not broken!" You insisted with a gesture of your hand, the corner of your eyes crinkled as you laughed. The rain poured down harder, quickly drenching yours and Peter's hair along with your clothes. Nothing was stopping him anymore, though, and he got down on one knee, audibly still aching from his bruises. Your laughter persisted, but now you hiccuped as well, your eyes red.

"We're not at a beach in Hawaii, but I tried to get the petals at least." When you inspected the ground— purple and red petals messily surrounding you, shriveled from the water— you comprehended the reason for his flower killing spree. You gripped his cold hand, the downpour emitting a shudder from you.

"It really doesn't matter."

"Good, good." He breathed out, more like a reassurance for himself, his own breathing speeding up for he could sense the tears coming as well. "Y/N. I loved you back then. I love you right now... and I'll love you for the rest of my years. It's not an exaggeration, it's the truth. I promise I'm not going anywhere. Not again. So..." He opened the box, and you stared in awe at the golden circlet with the pretty silver diamond.

"Will you marry me?"

You couldn't utter a single word, your throat closed up as you instead nodded fervently. You both beamed at each other, your smiles easily capable of moving worlds and galaxies as he slid the engagement ring onto your finger, his own hands trembling. You didn't give him a chance to stand up— you got down to his level and crashed your lips into his, your mouths slippery from the rain, your appearances far from alluring with his hair clinging to his skin and your mascara trailing down your cheeks. But it was alright. For the first time that day, everything was alright.

[alicepink-me]

The New Guardian

Story Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is an adult in the real world, guarding the Miracle Box in Master Fu's place. She's in love with Chat Noir, but refuses to tell him her feelings. New holders appear to fight the duo and shake up their lives. Marinette makes a tough decision about her future as Ladybug.

Chapter 20: Scarlet

Five Days Later:

An ominous blade dragged through the streets, emitting a piercing shriek. A sword taller than a child and sharp enough to slice a mountain. This blade wields unforetold power. Parisians watched from the sidewalks they ran to, cowering in fear at the sight of the fare maiden. Her presence brought extreme terror to everyone she passed.

. . .

"I brought you cookies." Adrien cheered, swiping the tin foil off the plate as he kicked the apartment door shut.

"Did you follow one of my recipes?" Marinette hopped off her couch and walked to the door, looking over the plate.

Adrien tossed his bag in the corner. "Care to guess which one?"

"Hmm. Given your lack of experience, I could easily be poisoned right now." Marinette smiled, stealing a cookie and taking a bit. "But I guess I must trust you." She paused. "It's . . . raspberry pistachio . . . with . . . white chocolate chips."

Adrien grinned, shaking his head. "A spot on guess."

"I did create this recipe. I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't detect the ingredients." Marinette grabbed the plate and carried it to the kitchen.

"Anything new happen while I was gone?" Adrien asked. "I spent the last few days catching up on everything I missed at work."

Marinette finished her cookie. "I found an assistant job for another designer and . . . I'm interested in applying."

"Working for the competition?" Adrien acted offended. "You traitor."

"Depends on the boss I guess. If she's obnoxiously rude and demanding, even though I'm an assistant, I'll simply quit." Marinette took another bite of the cookie. "The job is supposedly less butlery and more of a step down from the boss herself. I still get input on designs and decisions, but I do have to bring her whatever supplies she needs, or coffee."

"That's sounds good for you." Adrien smiled, moving to the kitchen. "But you seem more like a boss."

"It's a start." Marinette covered the cookies "One day I'll conquer the fashion industry myself, but not yet."

Adrien rounded the countertop, moving to Marinette and sliding his hands on her hips. He smiled down at her. "Our futures are looking bright." Marinette lifted on the tips of her toes to meet his lips.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir!" A booming voice was heard.

"You had to say that." Marinette glared at Adrien before running to the window, Adrien following.

In the street below them stood a tall woman completely encased in pristine white armor. Her long hair was a magnificent scarlet shade. It was beautiful with a white ribbon for a headband and reached her knees, contrasting her armor perfectly. Her eyes were golden brown and her skin was fare. The most striking of her appearance was the demonic sword she carried, over half her size. The metal had shimmers of silver blue and several ridge patterns. From the carnage in the road behind her, it was obvious that she dragged it the whole way here and it was no ordinary blade.

"What is that woman?" Marinette muttered.

"Ladybug, show yourself! You and your fellow partner!" She shouted, her head darting up to meet Marinette's eyes. "I know you live here!"

Marinette ducked, hiding from her gaze. Adrien and her crawled away, whispering to their kwamis.

"Plagg, Claws Out!"

"Tikki, Spots On!"

Ladybug tiptoed to the door. "How did she know where my apartment is?" She whispered. "No one, not even my parents, know where I live."

"Maybe she followed us."

"We got back six days ago. That's a long time to hide outside my window, let alone hide that massive blade she carries." Ladybug sighed. "Now we have to fight again."

"Your new school really doesn't quit." Chat remarked.

Ladybug slowly turned the knob on the door, quietly opening it. She poked her head out in the hallway, seeing a person and jolting back inside. Ladybug waited ten seconds before checking again and motioning for Chat Noir to follow. The two snuck through the halls and entered the stairwell, quickly running out of the apartment complex. They rounded the corner, coming face to face with the scarlet monster.

"Finally." The villain grinned devilishly. "You've come to meet me."

Ladybug straightened. "Do you know who I am?"

"Marinette Dupain Cheng, age twenty-one, Ladybug miraculous holder, and traitor to the guardian's temple." She answered blankly. "I know you quite well."

"A-And you are aware of my status at the temple?" Ladybug shook off the odd behavior and crossed her arms, showing a stern frown. "You wouldn't want to upset our elders."

A random clear goo appeared around Ladybug and Chat Noir's feet. They grasped each other's arm as they began to slip. The substance was a peculiar jelly with a chill.

"Don't you dare start." A girl appeared behind them, resting her elbow on Chat Noir's shoulder. "We know exactly what you've done."

Chat Noir tried to step forward but the gel began to burn, stopping him. "Now don't be a liar as well, Fern." Another girl appeared next to Ladybug. "Truthfully, we don't know how you've gained control of our people, let alone change the entire future for our temple, but it must be reversed."

"Look . . . I don't know who you are, but we haven't done anything wrong." Chat began. "And intruding our city like this is rude. Whether you were there or not for the whole ordeal, we won't change what we did. The elders will continue to view us only as heroes."

"And why is that?" The scarlet one asked. "We were on a mission and returned to see our superiors completely manipulated. Because of my rank at the academy, after teaching me of your past, they informed me of their plans for you." She looked to her blade. "It was quite a shock to see they failed to a mere amateur."

"We don't wish to fight you." Ladybug held her hands up. "We can works things out without a battle."

"I'm afraid not." The other girl said, flashing in front of Chat Noir, looking between them. "We don't play that way."

"Lemon, where are our manners?" The red one said, looking down with a smile. "We should introduce ourselves before we kill them."

"What a pity." Fern grabbed Ladybug's chin. "You were kind of cute."

"Fern!" Lemon shouted.

The two girls moved to stand beside their red haired leader.

"I am Ivory." The scarlet girl said. "The gardenia miraculous holder."

"I'm Lemon. I have the sunflower miraculous." Lemon wore a bright yellow suit that looked like half of a dress. The ends appeared like long, pointed flower petals. She had yellow, thigh high, laced sandals. Her dark skin and eyes beautifully contrasted her suit. Her hair was dark curls with gold streaks.

"I'm Fern." The last girl said, grinning. She wore a plain leaf like, green suit. The color faded to turquoise on her arms. She bore thin bendable spikes along the backs of her arms and legs. Her hair was shoulder length silver white and her eyes were blue, but almost white.

Neither of them wore a mask. Ivory held her sword in front of her, leaning back. Her white ring seemed familiar. It was a white gem encased in a black ring.

"Chat Noir, look at their rings." Ladybug whispered, eyeing the other two, similar in style with silver metal.

"They're from the Gardenia box." Adrien observed.

"Which means . . . they're just as powerful as everyone we faced before . . . if not greater."

Chat Noir lifted his foot. "Mind telling us what this goo is?" He asked.

"That's my doing." Fern smiled. "I have the power of aloe vera." She held her hands out, making it increase. "My abilities give me healing advantages and support powers, yet they can also grant me an attack." She created a ball of gel in her palms and launched it at Chat, him dodging it. "I can shape it however I choose like a waterbender."

"It reality, we could easily kill you at this moment." Lemon smiled. "With my sunflower miraculous and the sun itself at my disposal, I could very simply boil the aloe vera you're in while Fern multiplies it. You'd both be melted into a strange moisturizer."

"Then why don't you?" Ladybug asked.

"It's too boring." Fern answered. "We didn't travel all this way to take you down so quickly. I want to squeeze every bit of information from you first."

"And you, Ivory." Ladybug turned her head. "What's your power?"

"Now I don't want to spoil all the fun." She grinned. "You'll soon find out when you lose." Ivory dashed forward, crashing her blade down where Ladybug was standing before the two heroes leaped away.

Chat noir reached for his baton, but Lemon targeted him, boiling the gel remnants still on his boots. Chat winced at the burning and fell to the ground. Ladybug landed near him in a panic. As beads of sweat formed at her hairline, she called her lucky charm. Ivory smirked as she rushed over, slicing the yo-yo string instantly. Just in time, a spotted towel fell in Ladybug's hands.

Ladybug blinked. "How did you-"

"My blade can cut through anything." Ivory rested it beside her, smiling victoriously. "So much for your lucky charm. I'm assuming that towel is for the aloe, but you only received one. Will you selfishly use it yourself or will you hand it to your partner? But that's if you do not touch anymore gel to the point where you can't easily wipe it off." Ladybug growled. Chat Noir jumped in front of her. "Aw, are you fighting for her? That's sweet."

Ivory gripped the end of her blade as it began to glow. Soon the righteous blade was a red metal, baton like, staff.

Chat's eyebrows furrowed. "She can change her weapons, Ladybug." Ivory jumped forward, her baton smacked Chat Noir's.

"Well aren't you observant." Ivory fought against his strength.

Fern held her hands out in concentration, moving the goo from his shoes, up his body in small amounts. Chat's eyes widened to see the gel building up at his wrists. They reached to each other, drawing his wrists closer until he dropped his baton and his wrists linked in the gel. Lemon boiled the aloe, bringing Chat Noir to his knees. Ladybug quickly used the towel to wipe the aloe vera from her own feet.

"Since I've already destroyed Ladybug's chance at using her power . . . I might as well reap you of yours already." Ivory's weapon glowed again, forming into a large bow with only one arrow in stock. "You've lost this one for now." She drew her bow back.

"No!" Ladybug rushed forward. Lemon directed a beam of sunlight towards Ladybug. "Ah!" She shielding her eyes, falling to the ground. "I can't see." She mumbled, her eyes watering.

Ivory shot the arrow, sending it in Chat Noir's chest. It disintegrated in dark glitter, stinking to his suit and being absorbed inside of him. His ring began to blink as if he had used his power, slowly counting down. Ivory's white ring began to beep as well.

Ladybug was brought to her knees as well. She stared at the ground, defeated. Fern instantly gathered more aloe vera to form a similar pair of hand cuffs around her wrists. She didn't flinch. Chat Noir sighed.

"Today is a joyous occasion." Ivory changed back to her monstrous blade. "To face their crimes . . . this will be the end of Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

[maikatc]

black sun tale but it’s the original first draft i wrote back in seventh grade like three or four years ago

and yes, i mean the entire 2k words of it, unedited too

Hyhqwv

“I wonder what’s going on right now,” I was in my living room couch and checked out the latest news on YouTube from my black laptop. New York City has been going wild on the internet lately. There have been pictures and videos of dead bodies and people proclaiming that they saw monsters. News stations are even going on saying that deaths are occurring at random places with no evidence for a reason. The subway, buildings, even some at the theme park. The unknown cases are causing major panic for most, parents aren’t even letting their children go outside. 

“I don’t think anything will happen today,” my dad replied to me while he was in the kitchen. 

“And you probably just jinxed it,” I continued scrolling through the page, skimming at the titles until I found something. The headline said Children Are Not Safe Anymore. I clicked on the video, there was a dead small girl inside a house. She looked like she was only five years old. No injuries at all. The babysitter said she was in the kitchen while the child named Alexa was in her bedroom playing with her dolls. Apparently, Alexa was the daughter of a new model, Lumi Katsmann, and she was too busy to have much time with her. I suppose she kept the little girl inside like most would but now there’s no certainty that would work. 

I went on my phone to see if Twitter or Instagram has anything. When I turn on my phone, there was a text notification from Sora. Saying that I was late 

Sora has been my friend since middle school because of me being the first person she met. She’s nice, but does have a bit of a temper, doesn’t really matter though. When summer began, we planned to meet up the day after she comes back from her summer trip, July 2nd at 3:15. 

2:31

Sora: Jackson, you’re late

Jackson: But I thought you said at 3:15

Sora: I said 2:15

I scrolled through my phone all the way until I got to when we planned the outing. As I looked at the conversation, I realized that she did say 2:15. Well shit. I got up from the couch I was laying on, my legs wobbled from not standing up for a few hours. All I had on were bowers and a T-shirt I used when I sleep so I decided to change clothes. 

“Are you going anywhere,” I forgot to tell dad. 

“I’m just meeting up with Sora at the park,” I spoke while rushing to get myself ready. I put on a white shirt with black stripes, blue jeans and a pair of Nike shoes. Before I left, I grabbed my phone just in case something else happens today and went off. 

“Bye dad.”

“Be careful Jackson.”

“‘Kay,” as I close the door. 

I turned around to go to the destined land, the park. Sora would be a bit moody when I make it there for being late but I guess I should tell her what’s been happening lately. She would at least be intrigued, she’s interested in mystery. I know enough things about her that people would think we’re childhood friends, but we’ve only known each other for five years. Now thinking about it, we’ve been together for a long time. I remember in freshman year, I even got interested in her, but I knew things would get awkward between us, especially if something bad happened. At the end, I decided to not say anything, eventually the interest faded away. Now, everything’s chill and we’d hang out every few days or so

Some good breeze was passing through me while walking. The weather said this was one of the best summer days ironically. Aside from that kid’s death, perfect weather , good time of relaxing, it has been an enjoyable day so far. And now I’m about to be at the park.

Wrgdb Eulqjv Wkh Ixwxuh

It’ll be a few seconds before I make it to the assigned area. It was more silent than usually, no sound at all really. I stood as I got to the entrance. The breeze flew throughout knocking some leaves off the trees while I saw something terrifying.

Blood.

Dead bodies.

Sora’s dead body.

Right in front of me.

Impaled.

Her brunette hair dyed with blood.

What happened?

What caused this to happened?

Why is everybody dead?

Their guts are even showing.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

I see something over there.

It looks big.

It looks like

A Chinese dragon.

It has claws.

They’re covered in blood.

Buried in blood.

Run.

Run.

Run!

RUN!

I ran as fast as I could in the wish of survival. A girl, light brown hair, walk past me, walking to where it was. 

I stopped. “Don’t go there! You’ll get yourself killed!”

She paused her walking and turned around. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” she smiled while her hazel eyes glistened in the distance as she continues to the land of demise. 

I have no time to save her, she would die either way, so what’s the  point? She chose to go there. It doesn’t matter now.

My mind was in survival mode, the side of humans which doesn’t make them think heroically in the shows. Reality is different, we’re selfish in this mode, you do whatever to survive. People probably don’t except this fact, hell, even I don’t like to except it sometimes, but one day they have to. 

I was running through the streets. Bumping into people the entire time. Looking at me like they should. I looked like I saw the depths of hell and ran like a madman. I didn’t care, I saw something that could’ve killed me. I was getting tired, I needed to rest. I was about to come up to an alley, I turned to the dark surroundings, sat down and closed my eyes for a second. 

“Wow, how ironic you came here,” the voice sounded like a kid’s. I opened my eyes, Nike shorts with bright green sneakers. Looking up I saw more of the child, white shirt with a few stains, a black hoodie with bright blue highlights, half zipped. I wasn’t sure if they were a boy or girl. Their black hair was droopy and went down to the middle of their neck, but by the voice, I’m guessing it’s a boy. What really caught my attention was his eyes. The left one was only a deep sea blue, somewhat rare but still normal. Then there was his right eye. There wasn’t even a pupil or iris. It was silver in background but covering most was a design that looked like a black sun.

“Alleyways are popular here aren’t they? And you came to the alley where I live,” I looked around and saw it was decorated a little bit. A calendar and a few papers on the wall which contains drawings that each said ‘accomplishment’. There was even a small dream-catcher.

After a few seconds, I noticed, “How old are you?”

“Ummm, I’m about to turn thirteen soon, but don’t think about messing with me,” he was definitely lying. He was much shorter than me and his voice was barely deep. He seemed like he was in around the end of elementary school. What questioned me was that he was saying he lived in the alley. He was too young, he’d die. “Wait a minute, what’s that on your forehead?”

My black hair covers the majority of my forehead, but it looked like he saw something there. He began to reach it with his hand. 

“What do you think you’re doing,” as he split the front hair. His face started looking surprised, confused, but had some excitement.

“Woah,” he smiled,” you’re one of us,” he turned around and paused for a second to think. I was in confusion the entire time. Who is he? Why is his eye like that? What does he mean by one of us?

“Let’s go,” he grabbed my hand immediately and got me up with incredible strength for his size.

“Hey Aladdin! I have defeated the dragon th-,” then appeared the girl with light brown hair.

Phhwlqjv

“Wow, finally we found somebody else,” the girl has a yin-yang T-shirt and blue baggy shorts, nothing that revealing, but there was something black poking out of her chest.

“Who are you people,” how was she still alive,and she said she defeated that thing. Why did she call that kid Aladdin? That’s a fictional character, who would name their kid Aladdin?

“Glad you asked! We are Black Sun Tale! We are people who have special abilities and defeat these monster, creature things. And you’re apart of it!”

“What,” These people are insane. How am I apart of this? I thought to myself.

“You didn’t explain everything Annette.”

“Why don’t you call me by Belle?”

“Because your ‘code names’ are stupid.”

“I think they’re cool,” she said in a pouty face

“They’re fairy tales!”

I saw them bicker at each other for the next two minutes until I had enough, “Can you explain to me what is going on? I don’t know who both of you are and somehow I’m a part of this group? Why?”

“Well-” the girl called Annette started speaking until the sun-eyed boy stopped her.

“Let me do this, explaining it with your peppy attitude will make him think we’re insane.”

“Fine,” she said with crossed arms.

“Okay, so see my eye? Well Annette-”

“Belle!”

“Whatever, Belle, has a black sun mark too. Show it.” the so-called Belle lowered her shirt to show a black sun mark on the top of the left side of her chest. 

“And if you look at your forehead, you have one too. Oh and for a bit more detail, we have three members so far and I’m the leader.”

“How are you the leader.” I questioned him. I didn’t believe a group that defeats creatures that kills would be a little kid.

“I was the one who got this stuff in the first place and found all of you guys. I’ve also been though some traumatising shit, how do you think I’m living here? My family kicked me out? Why the hell would they do that,” his voice filled with anger, it looked like he was about to cry.

“Can you calm down. Look sure I’ll join whatever you’re doing. I just have a few more questions.”

Belle came into the conversation, “Um sure. What do you wanna ask?”

“Well you said that there are three members right? Well then who’s the third member?”

“Oh! Well, um, uhh she’s not that active with the group lately. She’s the youngest in the group, turning twelve in two weeks, but she’s, what do you call them, oh, a shut in. She was to be somewhat hyper like me, and she annoyed Aladdin even more than me because of her being a fangirl over stuff like anime and such. Now, she’s consumed by the internet and almost never goes out. She also sleeps more at day than she does at night, but I think she’s Aurora, or Briar if you like the book more, from Sleeping Beauty!”

“Second, what are your real names?”

“Oh fine, since you’re in the group. I’m Annette Jasofy, Aladdin’s name is Ayu, he never told me his last name for private reasons, and Briar’s is Roselle Karzen. Oh I forgot to ask, what’s your name?”

“Jackson Bardsly,” I wasn’t hesitant, they were younger than me, they couldn’t do anything. “Lastly, how old are you guy’s?”

“I’m fourteen, Aladdin-”

“Ayu!”

“Yeah yeah, he’s twelve and Briar is as I said, eleven. And we’re wondering about your age?”

“Seventeen.”

“Thanks, I can’t wait to see your power, so Aladdin what do you want to do now?”

I didn’t notice but Ayu was observing the whole conversation. He had a bored look but still had a bit of curiosity in his eyes.

“I don’t know, shouldn’t we let the newbie choose,” he spoke with a somewhat sarcastic tone but looked at me. 

“I would like to meet the third member,” Ayu looked at me with a face that said he did not want to go there at all, “but I think I’ll  go home… My friend was at the park.”

It was silent, even Annette wasn’t sure what to say. Ayu then grew dejection on his face. He walked up to me slowly and raised his arm to my shoulder. Having small tippy toes and eyes down to the ground. 

“It’s fine, you can come here anytime… We’ll help I guess.... And don’t worry, something like that happened to me too,” he was quiet at first but by the end he was smiling with some hope in his eyes. 

After we said our goodbyes, I left to my house. Unsure of what to tell my dad, and thinking of what to do tomorrow. Should I just stay home and be on my laptop all day? Or should I hang out with those kids. Questions flying all around on what to do.

“I’m back, Dad.”

“How was your date?”

I froze for a moment, thinking back on what happens, but I about that aside.

“First of all, it wasn’t a date. And… Nothing really happened.”

[bts7writings]

can u do a detailed bts reaction to you during active labor and are giving birth with them beside you?

JIN

“JIN!” you scream out, not even caring to mask your pain.

He keeps making random jokes to lighten the mood of the birthing room and it’s only making you want to murder him. “OW… FUCK!”

Jin switches hands again as he tries to un-cramp the current one.

“He’s a funny one” the doctor laughs as he continues doing his work, “wish I had more first-time dads like this, the usual ones just faint.”

Maybe you’d murder the doctor after he’d deliver you child safely. These thoughts were the only thing keeping you from fully loosing consciousness from the pain. “Can’t you just drug me?”

“Can you?” Jin asked.

“It’s almost over, y/n - come on one more push.” the doctor says not taking his eyes off of his work.

“Good…good.” You hear the crying. You know your going to hate it after sleepless nights that are sure to follow, but for now that sound is pure happiness to your ears.

“Okay dad, ready to cut the umbilical chord?” Jin nods smilingly, kisses your forehead, and walks over to cut the chord. The nurses quickly takes the baby to get cleaned up before handing him to you, where Jin’s already seated peering over.

You take him in your arms, humming a small snippet of a lullaby to try and calm him down. After a while before he’s just staring up at you, no longer crying frantically. You look over at Jin, who seems to be frozen in his very spot.

“Want to hold him?” he nods not trusting himself to form complete sentences, You hand him over to Jin and watch as the most important men in your life finally meet.

Jin looks up at you with glassy eyes as his smile lights up the room.

“I’m a dad”

SUGA

You were a no bullshit type of person, that and the fact that you didnt want to feel any pain that will traumatize you into not having anymore kids after the first one.

You were perfectly happy getting the epidural as opposed to the natural route - it didn’t make you less of a mother, no matter how many books were written to sham women of it. Yoongi supported anything you decided on 100% and  in reality he didn’t want to see you in pain anymore than you wanted to experience it.

So when the curtain went up and the doctors told you to push, you were sure it could not be this easy.

Yoongi made sure to keep by your side mimicking your facial expression and trying to make you as comfortable as possible.

“…and we’re done….nurses.” you saw the doctor hand over you child to the nurse and you’re state of calmness immediately shifted.

“Is she okay? I don’t hear any crying?” You try getting up to see what’s wrong, but yoongi get up and motions you to lay down

“Everything fine!” you hear one of the nurses assure you, “She’s sleeping”

“She’s what?” Yoongi tries not to laugh and makes his way towards the nurses. He gets the okay and picks her up gently, coming back to you.

“She’s so tiny” He whispers to you afraid to wake her up. She hands her over to you as he takes a seat beside you.

You stare down at you child checking if anything is wrong, but you see her in a peaceful slumber - perfectly fine. “…she came out sleeping….”

Yoongi nods smiling from ear to ear not being able to take his eyes off of his child. “She’s perfect”

“….The irony” you laugh to yourself. the small movement causes you child to wake up and as soon as she does - the sound you WERE expecting appears and fills the whole room.

Yoongi takes out his phone to record and you try and shush her, while holding in your laugh.

“Now that sounds like the intro to my mixtape”

JHOPE

“Slow - uhmmmm - down, you’re going to get us killed” you say in between contractions. your hand is on the dashboard as Hoseok is trying wingardium leviosa the car to the hospital.

His eyes are wide with anticipation, worry, and a little fear as he makes the last turn into the hospital. He runs out of the car to open your door and is ready to carry you bridal style into the hospital when you both hear a familiar voice coming towards you. 

“We got here as soon as you called” hoseok sisters runs out of the emergency door with a male nurse carrying a wheelchair for you.

“You are the best sisters I’ve ever had” Hoseok claims as he helps you into the wheelchair and is ready to fight the nurse for the right to wheel you around the hospital.

“Hoseok…” you breathe trying to get him to calm down. The chair starts to move and you sigh in relief when you see hose following beside you with his sisters.

“Lets get you into the birthing room, are you the father?” you hear the nurse ask.

“Yes.”

In the birthing room, Mejiwoo used her phone to get in touch with your side of the family that couldn’t be there, while the rest of your family was seated int he waiting room.

“I’m sorry I’m freaking out” he apologizes again and again as you wince in pain.

“Mhm” you manage to moan out as the medical team starts the procedure of natural birth. Hoseok face is stuck in a worried expression as he tries to be sympathetic with you.

“Okay, we’re going to need you to push now” the doctor instructs. Hoseoks curiosity getting the better of him peers over to the side and -

“Nope!” Mejiwoo cuts into his line of view, “Y/n gave specific instructions for me to not let you see that half of her for now.”

“I hate how well you’re taking this”

The doctor nods towards you, “another push”

“Yeah, eyes up front.”

You start laughing, but it gets cut short by the sharp pain.

“Push”

You groan, letting go of hoseok hand to grip the bar beside your bed. The crying of a healthy baby boy is enough to let you breath out in relief, even if you still feel pain - it’s not mixed with worry.

Mejiwoo goes to see him get cleaned, before grabbing him and bring him towards hoseok. “Here you go, dad.”

Hoseok pulls him close to his chest, “Oh wow… he’s perfect.” He hands him to you, not letting him out of his site nor letting himself out of his sight as he leans into you.

RM

“Oh” you moan out again for the 100th time tonight. Namjoon is sitting on the birthing room couch, trying to concentrate on his book to no avail.

You’ve told him to not worry and try to read after the 12th hour went by of you in labor.

“Ohhhhh” you groan, “you’re such a dick”

“Well you weren’t complaining this much while making the baby.”

You try to suppress your smile, “I hate you.”

After a few more minutes, you fail trying to sit up. “Ow, no…no, Joon - call the doctor. Ow, it hurts.”

Namjoon wasted no time in running towards the door to yell at the doctor to come into the room.

“Lets see now.” The doctor peeks under the robe to check on the dilation, but comes out real quick. “Mr and Mrs. Kim, we’re going to have to preform an emergency C-section-”

“Is everything okay? is she okay? Is -”

The doctor gets up from his chair and nods calmly, “Its a low risk procedure, the baby hasn’t shifted in the right position for birthing - so I’ll call in a surgical team right now.”

“But-”

“Joon,” you manage to moan out and in a matter of second all of his questions stop and his attention is solely on you, “We’re going to be fine, just come here.” You extend your hand and he takes it with no hesitation.

The epidural is given to you immediately and a curtain is put on the upper section of you body so you cant see or feel what’s happening from you waist down.

“We should’ve taken the epidural first” you sigh in relief, “So much easier.”

Namjoon manages a smile, but his eyebrows won’t lighten up.

“Hey” you hand reaches up to smooth over his worry lines, “I’m not in pain, they’re doing their job, you’re here with me…We’re going to be okay.”

There are a few things that Namjoon cant question nor control and it seems to drive him crazy most times, but with you it’s the complete opposite. No questions, no control - just you.

You hear and smell the burnt flesh from the laser cutting into you. With just a few moments later you see

“Namjoon-” you don’t have to finish your sentence, as namjoon rushes over to the pediatric surgeon to see how well your baby girl is doing. The crying starts pretty soon and you see Namjoon holding her for a while before she calms down.

“20 toes and 40 fingers, just like her mom” he jokes handing her to you. You grab her and rest her on your chest, finally being able to breathe easy. Namjoon finally takes the seat next to the bed and touches her tiny fist.

“You don’t actually hate me, right?” he says it jokingly, but you can see the glint of doubt in his eyes

“What? No.” You state matter-of-factly, “Joonie, I could never- I love you so much.” You sit up slighting and kiss his cheek, “I love you and our kid.”

He leans in this time, kissing you with a hum on his lips and his dimples present on his cheeks. He leans in again, resting his head on your shoulder to get a better look at his little girl.

“Love, you’ve made my world and you’ve made my happiness” 

JIMIN

Jimin bits his lips from yelling out in pain. He knew you were in much worse pain than him, but your hand squeezing his thighs was sure to leave a bruise. He didn’t want to disrupt your concentration in pushing, so he chooses to silently endure it all.

“Oh you’re doing great, baby.” he says, when he gets a chance and then naturally tries to grab your hand into his - guiding it away from his thighs.

“Shit.” You breathe out, an squeal as the last of your strength goes into the final push as a loud crying echoes the rooms walls.

“Congratulations, it’s a healthy baby boy” the doctor says hiding it over to the nurse, who in turn hands it over to yo so you can start 

“Oh you’re so loud” Jimin teases, the little baby calms down slightly at his dads soft tone. “Do you like my voice? You’ve heard it enough for 9 months.”

“He likes you” you joke as you continue to play with his little fist. After a whole moments of just being the three of you, you start to realize that just the three of you were not the only ones in the hospital.

“Jimin…”

“Hmmm?” he says as he’s smelling the baby’s hair.

“You need to go out and tell our parents the news.”

“I don’t want to leave” he whines, leaning back into his chair.

“Well I can’t go and you’re the one who invited half of Korea to come.” you tease, “right?” you talk to the baby, “Daddy doesn’t listen when mommy says close friends and family only.”

“Well mommy is going to have to greet them all one by one as I lead them in to see my greatest accomplishment.” he mimics you baby talk, but nonetheless starts getting up. “I’ll bring in our parents first, I’ll be back.” He pecks you lips and kisses the baby’s head gently before heading out.

“ITS A BOY!” You hear him yell form inside your birthing room, followed by cheering of what you feel like is a whole city.

V

Taehyung is bitting his tongue trying to figure out what’s on your mind. You, on the other hand, are trying to keep everything out of your mind. Your eyes are closed shut as you try and concentrate less on the contractions and more on the gentle waves surrounding you in the birthing pool.

You’re not much of a whiner and this has definitely broken your record for most painful experience, but it wasn’t intolerable like you feared. Just as there seemed to be a pattern of waves, it got disrupted by an abrupt sensation, which you quickly opened your eyes to.

Taehyung wad getting into the pool, clothes and all.

“But your clothe-” 

“Is replaceable, love” he shrugs off, “I want to be here, whether you want to or not…but I really hope you do” he teases. He comes up behind you so you’re able to lean back on him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you close you eyes again.

“You’re doing great y/n” the doctor complements, “Everything seems in order, now we’re going to ask you to push as much to help the little fella get out of there yes?”

You nod and feel Taehyung take both of you hands into his own, before kissing the back of you head.

“one….push…” this is it “two….” god that hurt “push….” hello kegels “come on almost there.” oh no “………keep pushing…ke-great job!”

You muffled your screams with your own hand, trying to not make as much noise so you could hear everything around you. Luckily the only thing you could hear after a while was the soft and beautiful crying of a newborn.

Taehyung kisses your temple one last time as his eyes and trail follow the doctor with the baby. He grabs onto the baby, determined to be the person to hand you the child.

“Oh hey little one” He hold her close to his chest, “I’m your dad.” The smile on Teahyung’s face is enough to light up the whole world. “Wanna see mama?” He cooes, gently walking on his knees towards you.

“Hey” you smile as Tae hand her over and puts an arm around you both.

“second love of my life meet the first love of my life”

JUNGKOOK

“How are you this calm?” you ask Jungkook as he sets up the cameras in your birthing room.

He made sure to to be clear with the hospital and doctor that he wanted to film every moment of the birth because that was his thing. So he was setting up all decent angles you allowed as you hummed out your contractions as they came.

“I feel like I’m born to do this, you know?” he admits setting up the last of his stuff

“You can’t be good at everything,” you tease, “I mean I fully expected you to faint.”

“Same” He agrees finally settling down on the chair and pulling it closer to the side of your bed. “How bad is it now?”

“Well it’s not good.” You wince in pain. you were walking around your room waiting for your water to break and it just wasn’t happening.

“Anything?” Jungkook’s dad pops his head in the room, “That child is as stubborn as both of you.”

“Is she still walking?” you hear your mothers voice at the other side of the door before you see both of your mothers push their way into the room while carrying a cup of tea. “We’ve got the tea!” they say as they hand it over to you.

Jungkook quickly takes it form you and sniffs it, “are you sure this is safe?” His mother hits his arm and tsks at him

“Mothers know best.” she take the tea away from him and places it back into your hands, “Family secret.”

You drink it without any hesitation. “I’m all for the herbal life -” you start joking with jungkook until you feel, hear, and see liquid exiting your body and onto the hospital floor.

“I really didn’t expect that to work” Jungkook scoffs while getting over to call a nurse. your parents are quickly escorted to the waiting room as you begin to get ready to give birth.

“It’s you and me, kid” Jungkook’s nods, holding your hand between both of his. He becomes your anchor as you wince, moan, cry, and sweat out the pain of having to give birth. The only thing that slips his lips are small I love you’s when they’re audible, never flinching or taking his eyes off of you.

When you hear the first cry you go limp from exhaustion and try to hold back tears of pain and happiness and relief, but you don’t last long as jungkook kisses you strongly before he goes to look at the nurses cleaning his kid. He doesn’t want to hold him, since he knows you’ll pout if you don’t get to do it first, so he follows behind the nurse as she hands him over to you.

“Hey there handsome” you smile down at your kids, whose refusing to stop crying. “Oh wow this is the worst first date I’ve been on.” after countless tactics to make him stop crying, you hand him to an impatient jungkook.

“If you make him stop crying I’ll love you forever and I will never forgive you for this betrayal - that goes to the both of you”

Jungkook hold him closer to his face and starts to sing a little and that about does it for this own child to stop crying.

“I was born only for the best” he passes your child over to you once it’s completely calm “you and me and little-us here”

__________________________________________________

Navigation:

Back To Masterlist ♡

Make Your Own and Request ♡

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke.  Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke.  Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning.  Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~  But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.  

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die.  Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident.  A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit?  But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac.  She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman.  I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY?  To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed.  She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair.  Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!”  To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal.  Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered.  Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is.  But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.  

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy.  We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible.  Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her.  But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her.  The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be.  I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight.  So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up.  It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting.  I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest.  I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL!  YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO!  But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it.  She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around.  LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!)  It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!”  To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born.  She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW!  What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that.  Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality.  And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E15 (Apr 24, 2018)

Hello hello hello! As @eponymous-rose​ is away doing Important Science, I’m covering TM recap duty tonight! Tonight’s guests: Marisha & Liam. Tonight’s announcements: 

This Saturday is International Tabletop Day! G&S is running special programming all day to celebrate.

VM Origins #6 is out at all available online comic retailers. The final touches are being placed on the comic collected edition; details to be released soon!

Wednesday Club airs tomorrow at 7pm PST.

826LA hit the $35,000 reward tier this week! This means Matt will be hosting another Fireside Chat soon. (Liam reveals that the vintage robe & a tiger ring Matt wore in the last chat were gifts from him after a certain jazz-hands-related event in the last campaign.) As a reminder, all donations are doubled up to $40,000 thanks to a generous critter matching donations. 

Pillars of Eternity is out in two weeks! Reminder that the characters of VM will be playable as voice sets in this campaign; the new portrait art for Vax was released this week. Check it out at versusevil.com/criticalrole! Liam extols Travis’s voice acting and the “finesse” in his performance and hopes that fans will be very happy with it.

Reminder: Dani Carr hosts Critical Role Recaps every week. 

CR Stats for Episode 15

48 natural ones this campaign so far ($4800 from D&D Beyond to 826LA!)

67 natural 20s so far, even without a Lucky rogue!

Over both campaigns & 51 initiative rolls, Ashley averages only 9.5 on her initiative rolls. :( However, she’ll be on Talks next week! Yay!

Beau is super into working for the Gentleman right now. As long as she makes friends in high places, she’s happy (in part because she knows they won’t last long). 

Liam doesn’t miss trap duty at all. (He’s enjoying being a screw-up wizard.) That said, he still enjoys watching Sam bring his magic touch to his old class. 

Beau fundamentally trusts that people will always act in their own self-interest, which is why she told Jester to take care of herself first. To Beau, selfishness & survival are synonymous--most people want to make sure they aren’t going to get caught or killed. That’s how she can trust untrustworthy people to work for the good of the group, and why she thought Caleb & Nott needed to be part of a bigger conversation.

Sam, of course, very briefly FaceTimes into the show with the knowledge that Liam called him a comedic genius. He wishes everyone to know that this is accurate, does a remarkable Howdy Doody impression, and leaves.

Caleb didn’t have any experience with the Zone of Truth spell before and paid close attention while it was being cast, but “nobody asked him any questions, so I guess it’s fine.” 

Caleb’s one-on-one with the DM hasn’t changed his playstyle or character interpretation yet, since it didn’t reveal anything significant. He does think it might have given Caleb a mildly different outlook on certain things/his mood a little bit, but no fundamental shifts yet. Beau’s one-on-one shifted her perspective a lot--she doesn’t respect authority at all, so being put in her place was a good check on her personality & took the edge off her wrecking-ball habits. Both Marisha & Brian talk about respecting someone willing to call them out on their crap.

Gif of the Week: this glorious thing by @scottc_miller on twitter. Poor everyone. Poor drunk Nott.

Beau is officially warming up to Molly. Awwww, my heart. “I don’t know if Molly’s warming up to Beau, but...” Brian: “Self-preservation, guilty until proven innocent...an optimist!”

Molly’s amnesia reveal hasn’t really changed Caleb’s opinion of him. He does trust that Molly told the truth within the Zone’s context, but he knows that may not be the whole truth. The only person who’s changed in Caleb’s estimation is actually Beau; Liam talks about a low score he rolled on an arcana check on the magical symbols, which Beau surpassed, and in the moment Caleb realized that meant Beau must have had some formal schooling. “A little checkmark went ‘boop!’ in a box.”

Beau is aware of her own terrible flirting with women, & Marisha references Beau’s strong preference to be in charge in her interactions. Marisha also talks about some of her Meisner acting classes/acting methods in how scenes are structured and it’s actually really, really cool. Liam segues into his first week in NYU at his very first voice acting class where they laid on the floor and did “pelvic thrusts” to loosen the diaphragm. Marisha recalls her college voice acting teacher telling her she was terrible and shouldn’t pursue voice acting because she spoke from the back of her throat. 

All of Caleb’s spells have been selected for RP reasons over functionality/utility. Liam knows it’s not the most optimal build &, as might be expected, doesn’t care in the slightest. You go, boo.

Liam and Marisha giggle over fighting such a classic old-school monster as a gelatinous cube. Liam honestly wishes Frumpkin could have been dissolved; Caleb emphatically does not. Marisha remembers finding the old cube mini with Matt which could be opened up so other minis could fit inside, and they sat in their living room for some time putting minis inside it. The pair that slays together stays together. Liam also remembers a Comic Con that had light-up gelatinous cube minis which he attended riiiiight after meeting Marisha. 

Fanart of the Week: this by @sephiramy! Look at how good everyone looks, awwww. 

Liam jokes that he personally excluded Quebec from the giveaways and it’s inexplicably hilarious, especially given Matt’s apologies for it on the regular show.

Beau’s hand going numb on the cube attack didn’t phase her at all; she’s still in the “adolescent” phase where she isn’t afraid of any bad things that might happen to her.

In re: screwing the DM with in-universe D&D choices: “Path of the Duck for the fuck.” 

When it comes to HP management, the rest of the party is trying to make sure they can get people up when they’re down, especially since Jester canonically dislikes healing. Marisha reflects on the last campaign where she & Sam often filled the blanks around Ashley’s healing, and feels everyone’s trying to fill a similar role now. Liam and Marisha would ideally like another healer, but neither Beau nor Caleb are paying much attention to maintaining a balanced party comp. 

The cat’s paw version of Caleb’s spell was always planned given his attachment to Frumpkin.

Liam talks about pre-stream puzzles from campaign one, including a complicated hydraulic puzzle that Taliesin’s dragonborn paladin sidestepped with one brute force elbow. He also remembers a child’s square puzzle that took “a group of adults an embarrassing time to solve.” 

Cast- and staff-wide digression into puzzle-shaming Gandalf for flunking the Moria door riddle. Gandalf the Grey--more like Gandalf the Bad at Riddles, amirite

Beau’s ability to solve the magic puzzle feels to Marisha like the lessons your dad makes you learn as a kid, even though you never think you’ll use them--(such as being made to learn to change your own oil despite thinking you’ll always use AutoZone), but then you end up using the skill later on and resent it the whole time. 

Caleb’s increased participation in discussions lately is an intentional choice on Liam’s part. 

Beau’s improvement in dealing with the rest of the M9 is due to her becoming more comfortable with them.

Caleb recognizes Fjord’s arcane power, but doesn’t question it at all due to the magical nature of their world. (Neither Liam nor Caleb trusts Fjord to be neutral good: “He spat saltwater out!”)

Marisha makes a great point about how everyone in a D&D party is by definition magical and special, but everyone in the M9 right now feels like they’re still discovering what that means. Liam points out that VM very much felt like strong, special people with greatness thrust upon them; M9 feels like a troupe of random carnies. 

Marisha on why she’s playing a human in D&D when so many possibilities exist: “Some people like playing ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances.” She likes going from an all-powerful half-elven archdruid prodigy to a schmo who can just punch things really hard. 

While discussing impostor syndrome, Brian quotes David Milch: “So much of the accomplishment in art comes not from the discovery of one’s gift but from its acceptance.” He likes that the leveling system supports the slow growth of a character in an RP sense and allows the character to learn and accept his or her strengths. He likes that it’s not straight escapism, it’s the combination of one foot in reality and one foot in fantasy.

Liam points out that since their group is very theater- and story-driven, they often use the leveling process to support story choices and character growth over class optimization. Marisha relates it back to the choices in Disney movies, where sometimes the protagonist discovers their innate power & embraces it in order to succeed, vs. where sometimes a protagonist must overcome an innate feature and rise above it in order to succeed. She loves that dichotomy. (Brian feels Scanlan represented similar principles in the last campaign.)

Liam’s favorite moment of the last episode was Sam’s small drunk goblin irritation. 

In re: the rising from the floor at the end of the last episode, Liam hopes there’s a way to talk their way out of any upcoming fight, since Caleb’s pretty tapped. Beau: “This is fine.”

After Dark: I Know What You Did Last Summer Edition

On transferring from the relationship between Vax & Keyleth to Caleb & Beau--both Liam & Marisha have had some disputes about everything that went down in the High Richter’s house. Marisha: “I wouldn’t use the word ‘disputes.’” Liam: “What would you use?” Marisha: “...Clarifications?” They both are struggling with how much their in- and out-of-game relationships have changed over the course of the two campaigns. 

The crew photoshops Liam’s hairy V-necked chest onto Marisha live. What even. How.

Marisha does miss some things about spellcasting, but enjoys watching everyone else struggle with concentration checks and saving throws. 

Liam and Marisha both enjoy building characters and then assigning the classes that fit their story, instead of deciding what class to play first & building a character to that.

Brief aside where both Marisha (not Beau) & Caleb (not Liam) talk about how much they love Jester. 

Liam discusses in- and out-of-player knowledge when it comes to Fjord. Liam knows there’s an eldritch horror behind him, but Caleb has no clue. Marisha sees him as the altrustic half-leader who’s hiding a lot. Liam hypothesizes that someone was about to die, and Fjord saved whoever it was by offering himself to Cthulu. Liam doesn’t think Fjord is good-aligned. Marisha doesn’t trust his smarts. 

Marisha tells a story about Taliesin’s hair at C2E2. They were doing group photos when a family with a little girl came up who asked Taliesin his favorite hair color. He answered “I’m really into the peacock fade with the blue and the fade into green and the purple and the emerald,” and the poor girl was a little overwhelmed. (Marisha once answered her second-grade teacher’s question about her favorite color as “iridescent” and feels the teacher was more impressed with her vocabulary than her color choice.)

If they were pulled into Exandria today, Marisha would like to be a wild magic sorcerer or a paladin; Liam would be a wizard. 

If the M9 were stuck in a cavern with no food, Marisha would eat Fjord first since he’s probably already a little salted. 

Beau’s martial artistry is inspired by Ip Man. 

Liam steps out for a moment after a coughing fit, then returns in order to stand very, very close to Brian. Close enough that Brian’s ear rests on Liam’s stomach. Close enough that Marisha feels left out and both of them cuddle on Brian’s lap to end the show. I’m glad I’m not kidding. 

See you Thursday!

[emily-rose350]

Hydra’s Angel- Chapter Six

Summery: After a random stranger takes a bullet for Bucky, will he remember the past they share or is it gone forever? Will he keep his promise to her? Or will she destroy the new life he has built over the years?

Authors note: Ok so I ended up splitting this chapter into two chapters because I was getting close to 10 pages and wasn't done yet so yeah. As always I’d love feedback and whether you guys are enjoying this fic or not and if not please some notes on what i could do better next time!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

Warnings: quite a bit of swear words (Angel is a little shit here), brief mentions of sex but nothing I would categorize as NSFW

Chapters:

Hydra’s Angel Chapter One

Hydra’s Angel Chapter Two

Hydra’s Angel Chapter Three

Hydra’s Angel Chapter Four

Hydra’s Angel Chapter Five

Angel sat in her room.

Waiting.

Waiting for the alarm that announced The Asset was back from a mission and everyone had to be on high alert. She sat on the edge of her bed twiddling her thumbs and staring at the floor listening for that unsavory yet blissful alarm that said that he came back.

Don’t get attached. They said.

He’s just a weapon. They said.

He’s never going to feel the same way about you as you do to him. They said.

Well, Angel never was very good at taking orders. Especially from the men who kidnapped her as a child.

Over the years, Angel has cared for The Winter Soldier in his worst of times and gave him most of the better times in his life with Hydra. She had grown attached to the young man from Brooklyn, despite her best efforts. She always did everything she could to heal him. Not because they were her orders, but because she cared for him and wouldn’t let him die. She made that promise to him many times. She would never let him die as long as it was in her power to do so. And in return, Sargent Barnes promised to protect her, forever and always, as long as it was in his power to do so.

Angel turns her hand over and grimaces at the still prevalent bruises on her wrist after one of The Assets guards attacked her after making a snarky remark about his ability to do his job correctly. All the guard got in was a tight grip on her wrist and a slight shove before The Asset had him in a headlock threatening to kill him if he laid a finger on Angel again.

After that day, word spread quick around Hydra.

Don’t mess with The Asset’s Angel or face his wrath.

Angel is pulled from her thoughts when an alarm sounds throughout the facility. Before the third alarm, Angel is sprinting through the corridors to meet up with her Bucky but freezes in her tracks when she sees two men dragging his lifeless body between them.

“What happened?!” She shrieks at his handlers. She rushes ahead to open the door to the operating room and prepare her supplies.

“Many more people than expected. Took many bullets to chest.” One of the handlers replies in broken English.

“I thought the whole point of him having handlers was so stuff like this didn’t happen,” she sends a glare over to the men as they lay him down on her table. “He might be a super soldier but he can still die you imbeciles!”

“That won’t happen. He has the best nurse in the world to make sure he doesn’t.” Angel sends another glare to the other man as she takes off his tactile gear to get a better look at his wounds.

“Look, I am aware that you assholes couldn’t care less about what happens to him as long as he finishes his missions but it would make my job a lot easier if you weren’t trying to kill him on purpose.” The men chuckle at the girl’s remark and walk out the door of the room to leave her to do her job, alone.

Nine hours later, Angel slumps down against the wall and sits on the floor as she cleans the blood off her hands. Tears roll down her face as she takes what seems like her first breath since the alarms went off. She uses her arm to wipe her tears away and looks at the man on the table and listens to his heart monitor beeping away.

After nine hours of removing bullets from his body, replacing the blood that he lost and praying to any and every god out there, Bucky was finally stable enough that all there was left for Angel to do is sit and wait and let Bucky’s body do the rest.

As Angel sat there on the floor of the dirty operating room, watching the man she cared for cling to life, she knew, this was the last straw. She couldn’t just sit back and watch Hydra use Bucky as a weapon anymore.

She was going to help Bucky escape. Even if it killed her in the process.

“Angel I can’t let you do that.”

“You don’t have a say in the matter Bucky. I’ve made up my mind,” Angel looks into his eyes as she redresses his wounds. “I’m getting you out of here. No matter the cost.”

Bucky stares back at the girl’s ocean blue eyes. Bucky remembers the day they met. She was so timid and afraid. Now it seemed like she wasn’t afraid of anything because she knew she would never have to be afraid as long as Bucky was around. “Fine. But only if you come with me.”

“I could probably live with that arrangement.” Slowly Angel starts to crack a smile and Bucky soon follows suit along with a light laugh before he flinches in pain. “Careful Bucky, don’t want to make it worse.”

Bucky smiles gratefully at the girl who has brought him a few moments of joy with every day of pain. “So when do we leave?”

“As soon as your well enough.”

Three days later, Angel heads to the office of the man in charge of The Asset.

“Sir?”

“What is it Angel?”

“I have a favor to ask.”

He waves his hand for her to continue as he signs some paperwork.

“I would like permission to bring The Asset outside of the facility for further medical healing.”

The man looks up at the girl. “Do I look crazy to you? Permission denied.” And with that the man returns to his paperwork.

“But sir, despite was you may believe, The Asset is still a human being and human beings need clean fresh air and, quite frankly, a will to live in order for the body to heal properly.” Angel strides over and puts her hands on his desk in front of the man. “Please. Just an hour. I’ll personally take him outside and we will take a walk around the facility and come back. Just enough to bring his spirits back up.”

The man stares at the girl for a few seconds before rolling his eyes. “You’re lucky I’m in your debt for saving my life all that time ago.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I’ll give you 30 minutes not a second more.”

“Thank you, sir.” Angel straightens up and prepares to walk out the door before the man’s voice stops her.

“Of course you’ll need to take a guard detail with you too. Just to make sure he doesn’t do anything to hurt you after all.” Angel turns her head around and sees the man with his signature sniveling smile.

“Of course, sir.” Angel turns back to the door and grits her teeth. So close.

A little while later Angel is bundled up in her winter coat and clothing and helps Bucky put his on too. Their guard detail consists of three men armed with assault rifles and a plethora of other “defenses”.

Angel reaches to take hold of Bucky’s arm but pauses and looks to him for permission as he quickly nods his head. Angel grabs Bucky’s arm and drapes it over her shoulders to help him walk. As they walk down the hallway to the door of the facility, Bucky whispers in her ear for only her to hear, “I didn’t know they were part of the plan.”

“They weren’t.” Angel replies just barely for him to hear.

“Hey! What are you two talking about?” One of the guards, named Wolf, starts poking his gun in their direction.

Angel doesn’t skip a beat when she replies, “We’re talking about how great our sex is. You should totally join us sometime.”

Bucky can’t help but let out a little snicker. “You really should. I love to have a rag doll to throw around in the bed.”

This time it was Angel’s turn to let out a laugh of her own. Even one of the guards got a couple chuckles in before another told him to shut up.

“Let’s just get this walk over with. Its below freezing outside.”

Yes granted this probably wasn’t the best time of year to be planning an escape but what could they do? It was the middle of winter. They couldn’t just wait another three months until the weather warmed up.

As they opened the door, the icy wind hit them all in the face and the reality of the situation set in. They would not be returning to this place.

The walk around the facility took longer than expected with Bucky still healing and in pain but they made do.

Suddenly, Bucky collapses screaming in immense amount of pain. “Bucky!” Angel kneels down and checks his wounds. She turns to the guards, “I need one of you to run to my lab and get me a vile that says morphine on it and a syringe and needle.” The guards just stood there looking at each other. “NOW!”

One of the guards take off running towards the door they came out off. Angel does the best she can to help alleviate the pain that Bucky is feeling at the moment when a noise comes from nearby.

“What was that?” Angel looks at her guards with worry on her face.

“I’ll go check it out,” The guard Wolf replies and turns to the last remaining guard,” Don’t let them out of your sight!” pointing to Angel and Bucky laying on the snow covered ground.

Angel does a few more probing around Bucky’s chest without taking off his jacket. “Do you have any bandages?” She turns to the guard.

The guard stumbles around his various pockets trying to find some bandages before he resolves to lay his gun on the ground so it would be easier to look.

As if she were trained, Angel leaps up and lunges for the gun and sends a kick to the guard’s chest sending him falling down the hill at top speed. “Bucky, GO!”

Bucky quickly stands up from where he was laying, grabs Angel’s arm and starts running through the woods. “You’re a pretty good actress.”

“I could say the same about you Bucky”

They run as fast as they can. Angel tosses the gun to Bucky since he has more experience with them anyway. They keep running to get as far away as possible when a tree right next to Angel explodes. She backs away from the tree and turns to see Wolf pointing his gun right at her chest. “Next time I won’t miss, Sweetheart.”

Bucky raises his gun in return before growling at the man, “Don’t call her Sweetheart.”

Angel hears footsteps coming from all around them. She turns to see at least fifty more Hydra agents, all around them, running towards them with guns drawn. And they’re all pointing at Angel.

“Drop the gun Soldier! Or would you prefer to see your love with fifty bullet holes in her chest?”

Bucky turns to look at Angel. She’s looking back at him with tears in her eyes. So close. Slowly Bucky lowers his gun, drops it on the ground beside him and holds his hands above his head to show surrender. The agents approach slowly and take his arms and lock them behind his back, places his muzzle on his face and then kick his knees out from under him to make him kneel.

“Don’t hurt him! It was my idea,” Angel yells from the side as more agents handcuff her wrists behind her as well.

“Oh we know Sweetheart,” Wolf approaches her slowly with a knife drawn. “However, The Asset must be punished for his disobedient actions. But don’t you fret little one,” Angel watches Bucky as he strains to free himself to protect her as Wolf takes his knife and slides it down her cheek drawing the slightest amount of blood. “We have a special punishment for you.”

[asleepinawell]

Destinations

A Story About Root

(AN: I’ve always been strangely fascinated by liminal spaces even before I had a word for what they were…transitional places that are visited only on the way from one point to another, like airports, bus stops, waiting rooms, train stations, hotels. Places where people aren’t supposed to stay for any length of time. I started thinking about Root in conjuncture with liminal spaces which led to this post which led to this fic).

The bus rolls out of the station, engine rumbling and smoke billowing from the tailpipe. Root doesn’t even look out the window as she gets carried away from Bishop for forever. She doesn’t know where she’s heading, but that’s okay. She doesn’t need a destination.

It’s two in the afternoon and the sun overhead is unrelenting. It’s hot out (even for summer in Nevada), the air is dry, and she’d kill for a bottle of water (she’s killed for way less).

She licks her cracked lips and swings her feet back and forth in space. She’s taken up residence on a wooden fence at the side of the empty dirt road. It’s a crossroads; two dirt tracks meeting at a harsh right angle, both stretching away into the endless expanse of nothing.

Her car broke down a few hours ago and she’d tried to walk to somewhere she could hitch a ride, but there is nothing and no one out here except her. It’s almost peaceful.

She can’t go back to her car (which has an unfortunate case of being full of bullet holes from a job almost-gone-wrong), and she won’t make it out if she tries to walk the whole way. That’s okay though. For right now she’s content to sit here, waiting.

Maybe, she thinks, when she gets out of here she’ll take that job in New York she’d thought about passing on. It isn’t a very interesting job (some political assassination) and she hasn’t been planning to take it at all, but being in a city sounds nice right about now. Much less chance of dying of dehydration and exposure, for starters. And she always meets the most interesting people in cities….

Airports are the closest thing she’s ever had to a home. They’re all different, and yet all have the same underlying energy to them. It’s three in the morning and her flight has been delayed for the third time due to a winter storm somewhere in the mid-west. It’s over air-conditioned here despite the weather and she’d bought an overpriced ‘I heart San Francisco’ sweatshirt from a kiosk to use as a blanket.

There aren’t a lot of people around: a few other passengers waiting for the same flight (all asleep), some random travelers wandering about, and an old janitor vacuuming the floor. She enjoys the relative solitude here. Airports are usually so crowded, noisy, easy to fade into. It’s nice to have a quiet moment.

Sometimes she feels like nothing can really happen in places like this. They’re stuck in time and space, not completely real. Somewhere down the hall she sees a man in a business suit slowly kicking a vending machine. A woman comes out of one of the bathrooms and lies down on the floor next to the wall. No one looks at her. A man wearing a baseball cap has his luggage open and his clothes spread out on the terminal floor. The speaker system is playing Gloria by Laura Branigan for the third time since she’d checked in. She’s not sure any of these things are real. Some days it’s hard to sort out reality, and places like this allow for blurring that line, encourage it.

It’s why she’s still annoyed that Harold’s muscle-brained watchdog had found them in the train station. Train stations are supposed to be safe. Reality isn’t allowed there. How had he gotten in?

It doesn’t matter now though. She has a new lead on the marvel that Harold is attempting to keep from her. She’s heading back to New York again to track down a lead on Daniel Aquino and she has this unshakable feeling that this time she’s going to find something solid.

The hospital is strangely familiar to her in a way that makes her skin crawl (though she supposes that may be the drugs as well). It’s removed from time, dreamy like a nightmare, intangible. But, unlike other places she’s been that feel this way, there’s no way forward.

In some ways there’s never an escape from any of these hazy in-between places she flits among, but she’s never so clearly felt trapped, stalled.

When the phone on the wall rings it’s like a door creaking open at the end of a long, dark hallway. And when, after a short time enjoying her freedom, she finds herself in another cage, she wonders if this is just another part of the same pattern. Always waiting, never being.

With the Machine calling the shots she still travels a lot, still sleeps in airports, train stations, bus stops. She eats shitty fast food at highway rest stops, overpriced bags of snack food in airports. There’s an endless string of cheap motels, each as forgettable as the last.

But her familiarity with these places is important now, useful. It’s as if she spent her whole life training for this. She thrives in these places, can exist in them effortlessly, and now she has a real purpose for being in them. 

The Machine offers to find her a place to come back to, an apartment somewhere (maybe in New York?), but she wouldn’t know what to do with a place like that so she always says no.

Staying in one place, creating ties, it would only leave her exposed. If she never has anything, she can’t lose anything. If she never has a place to go back to, then she can’t miss it.

“Do you have a favorite airport?” she asks Shaw as they wander through Miami.

Shaw looks at her blankly, waiting for the punchline.

“Okay, how about a least favorite one? In the U.S., to make it simpler.”

“Why?” Shaw asks, suspicious.

“I think La Guardia is generally considered the worst airport in the country,” she continues as if Shaw had answered. “It smells wrong and looks filthy. I’ve heard it described as ‘soul-sucking’. Though, personally, I dislike LAX even more.”

Shaw frowns a bit but doesn’t reply.

“I am somewhat perversely fond of the one in Las Vegas, though. So tacky and loud, like the whole strip there. They took somewhere already barely real and made it even more fake. It’s refreshingly honest in that way.”

“What’s with you and airports?” Shaw looks annoyed. “They’re just an inescapable annoyance. Like you.”

She smiles at that, leaning a little too far into Shaw’s space. Shaw moves further away from her on the sidewalk, grumbling.

She knows Shaw isn’t like her; it’s one of the reasons she finds her so compelling. Shaw is immune to the strange call of unreality in those places that Root practically lives in. Root’s always only been loosely connected to the rest of the world, moving from one waypoint to the next. Shaw is a fixed point in time and, when she’s with her, Root finds herself wishing for the first time ever that she could stand still.

Shaw’s apartment is orderly, minimalistic. Nothing is out of place because there’s nothing to be out of place. She wonders why Shaw chose this specific apartment. Had she chosen at random?

She watches Shaw pull her shoes off, drop her keys on the table. She looks like she belongs here, in this space. Or rather, the space looks like it belongs to her. As if she isn’t defined by her surroundings but instead defines them. She doesn’t need to decorate or personalize a physical location because everything she wants or needs is already part of her.

She’s immune to the things that twist and shape others. That twist and shape Root.

“Don’t bleed on my stuff.” Shaw pulls a medical kit out of the one cabinet she owns.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The only notable feature of this space is Shaw herself. Root decides she likes it.

The third time she crashes at Shaw’s marks the last time the Machine ever offers to find her an apartment of her own. It takes her awhile to juxtapose the two events, and when she does she’s not sure how to feel. She makes herself stay away for the next month, but it’s already too late by then. There’s a compass inside her now and the needle points to wherever Sameen Shaw is.

Every day she’s a different person, a new person. It’s always been easy for her, slipping into someone else’s skin. She’s good at it; too good at it. Some days she forgets who Root actually is.

Some day she wonders if Root actually is anyone.

But Shaw seems to know who she is, even when she’s not sure herself.

JFK is shockingly empty, even for Christmas day. It’s one of the better airports she frequents and usually she enjoys her time here, but the Machine has fallen silent with Samaritan on the loose and she’s let herself get used to having Her with her in places like this. She feels alone again, and now it’s unpleasant.

A man spills coffee all over his luggage and stands there staring at it for the longest time. A couple children race each other up and down the hallway, playing some game only they know the rules of. A dog is howling somewhere nearby, low and mournful. D’Yer Ma’ker by Led Zeppelin is playing softly in the background and she wonders how many times she’s heard that play in an airport. Were there songs that lent themselves to places like these?

An hour rolls by before she gives in and calls her.

“Root?” Shaw sounds like she’s half-asleep.

“Hey, sweetie. Did I wake you up?”

A pause and then: “What do you want?”

“Can’t a girl just call to say hello?”

There’s a small child screaming a few terminals away; his mother looks exasperated and exhausted. Two men in expensive suits laugh together as they walk away from her area. These things are jarring in a way they’ve never been before.

“You need my help or something? The Machine got a job for me?”

“No. I just called to….” She feels awkward, unsure what to say for once.

Shaw is silent on the other end of the line.

“Where are you?” she asks at last.

“Airport. JFK.”

“Coming or going?”

“Going.” She hadn’t had time to see any of the others on this trip.

“Where to this time?”

“L.A. first, but I think I’m catching a connecting flight to somewhere else. She’ll find a way to let me know.” With the Machine silent, even the little signs She leaves feel like a panacea for the emptiness.

“Thought you hated LAX.”

She’s genuinely surprised that Shaw remembers that. “I do, but…. It’s important, what I’m doing. What we’re all doing.”

Shaw grunts in a way that could mean anything. “When’re you back?”

“Back….” Back is a new concept. Coming back somewhere implies having somewhere to come back to, a fixed point. She wonders when Shaw became a destination for her.

“Not really sure. Whenever I finish the task She has for me.”

“Try not to die.”

“Why, Sameen, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Shaw groans and she laughs softly at her.

She won’t tell Shaw that she was serious.

With Shaw gone and the Machine silent, she feels untethered in a way she never has before. The compass inside her spins endlessly, unable to point in a single direction. Before she had the Machine to guide her she was fine living in an undefined blur of places and hours, and now she’s remembering all the reasons she was so careful to never stop, never settle. She remembers what it feels like to lose everything and still be stuck.

With the Machine living in the subway, Root feels less uncomfortable decorating the little room in the back. If she’s going to be trapped anywhere, being here with Her is the best option.

There is, she acknowledges, a certain irony to being trapped in what used to be a subway station (even if it is a repair line). A place that used to be a waypoint, a hub, and is now a stationary location. It’s now a place to go, rather than pass through.

She’s almost gleeful about getting to decorate. From time to time she’s allowed herself to imagine what her own space might look like, but it’s always been a pipe dream until now. She can’t help but indulge herself in every idea she’s ever had, cramming the small space with odds and ends.

She looks at her room here and thinks about Shaw’s old apartment, how different it was in every way from the garishness she’s created. She likes her new space, and she can’t help but wonder what Shaw would make of it. Because even though she finally has a room to call her own, she still feels like she’s in flux, that she hasn’t arrived at her stop yet.

Shaw won’t go back to the subway station, afraid Samaritan will track her there, use her to get to the rest of them, to the Machine. They stay in hotels, empty apartments, in one of Harry’s safe-houses. Shaw doesn’t like staying in the same place two nights in a row.

“You finally settle down somewhere and I drag you away,” Shaw says. They’re in a hotel that Root has already forgotten the name of and Shaw’s staring out the window. She does that a lot now; Root wonders how long she went without having a window.

“I don’t mind.” She doesn’t, though Shaw looks unconvinced. “But wait til you see my setup in the subway. I think the shag rug and lava lamp were a bit too much for the boys. Harry was appalled.”

Shaw almost smiles, a small victory for the night. “Sounds like you. Must be a nice change, having somewhere to go back to.”

Root comes over to sit next to her on the edge of the bed, leaves just enough space so Shaw won’t feel crowded.

“You know, I didn’t have anything to go back to for a long time, most of my life, really. It never bothered me until I found something and then lost it.”

Shaw turns her head towards her, confused. “The subway? You guys get evicted at some point?”

“I didn’t mean the subway.”

“Oh.” Shaw looks back out the window. “Oh.”

Shaw finally falls asleep that night, the first time she’s able to without taking something. She’s lying so close to her, almost touching, and her breath is warm against Root’s arm.

The compass in her mind has settled, come to rest. The bus she got on all those years ago has finally rolled into the last stop and she’s reached her destination.

(Big thanks to @heyjenocide for graciously beta-ing this for me).

[cchie]

Redd Blaze’s Big Ol’ Honkin’ Questionnaire

A. Psychology

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…   Redd is an ESFP for sure. “The Entertainer”. Friendly, playful, enthusiastic, energetic, helpful. 

What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…   Chaotic Good. Redd isn’t super selfish so she isn’t Chaotic Neutral, and she’s not evil.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?   I’m sure Redd has ADHD and used to have anger issues. She also has depression but has been getting better about it.

Are they a pessimist or an optimist?   Optimist! She used to be a pessimist but ever since escaping her father with Ducky, she’s become a brighter person.

Are they good at handling change in their life?   She doesn’t really know how to approach it at first but eventually goes with the flow. She likes change and embraces it after the initial warm up

Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

  Oh, Redd is never wrong. She’s very certain about everythng, except for the things she’s uncertain of, in which case she will still determine something definite about it.

Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?   Redd doesn’t get embarassed easily. She cries a lot and doesn’t think it’s an overreaction and actually believes it is a sign of strength. Redd isn’t startled easily but when she is, she’s not embarassed and rather laughs it off and thinks it was awesome.

Is your OC a martyr?   I mean, I guess? She took all of her younger brother Ducky’s beatings for him since she didn’t want him to get hurt. So in a way she did sacrifice a lot of herself for his safety.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?   Oh, absolutely. Ms. Blaze doesn’t ever mean it in a manipulative or harmful way, she just does so to keep everyone happy.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?   Hell no. Compromising with her is extremely difficult when it comes to the important things. When it comes to smaller stuff, it’s super easy to please her.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?   Yes. Absolutely. If she cares about you, she will do anything for you. She has a very fierce love. She’ll take a hit for you, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?   Redd gets high off adrenaline. She’s the SHSL Daredevil, so naturally, she would be. There have been times where Ducky has come to Redd about some of her stunts as he grew older, but he would reluctantly step off once Redd’s fierce determination shined way too bright.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?   Redd actually has trypophobia. It’s a fear of irregular holes, cracks, etc. It freaks her out because it reminds her of the abuse her father put her through and also, it’s just plain terrifying.

Is your character empathetic?   Yes! She doesn’t always seem it though. Once she understands the exact emotion someone is feeling, it clicks in her head.

Is your character observant?   God, not really at all. She’s too busy in her own world to pay attention to details and small unimportant things.

Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?   Oh, she absolutely has to go through her own trials. Really, the only person she listens to is Ducky, and sometimes Reed or December. She’s too stubborn to listen to anybody else.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?   Saving Ducky.

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?   Not really. She’s pretty confident. She’ll only get jealous over loving parents and geniuses. Even then it’s more of a wistful jeaousy rather than a malicious jealousy.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?   People who are mean for no reason. Abusive parents. Being told what not to do.

Are they harsh on themselves?   It depends. Physically, yes, but she can handle it. Emotionally, sometimes. But she always finds a way to deal with it.

Do they make excuses often? I mean, I answered this question earlier.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?   Generally attractive. She’s a strong, well-figured redhead. Her confidence also helps.

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?   She always feels confident no matter what she’s wearing. She could be wearing a banana suit and still feel absolutely comfortable and like she’s killing it.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?   Redd tries to overcome being told what to do most of the time, hence her SHSL Ability. She knows she’s incredibly stubborn and wants to work on that a bit more. She also knows that she needs to get a handle on her emotions because of things she’s done in the past.

B. Social

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?   Redd firmly believes in giving respect to get it. If you don’t show it, why should you get it? This was ahuge factor with her father and her hatred towards him, aside from all of the abuse.

Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?   Oh, most definitely. She doesn’t complain loudly about it though because she understands that the workers are trying their hardest. She’s just frustrated with the speed of things since she’s always on the move.

Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera?   The only time Redd would ever get mad over someone in food service was if they were blatantly discriminating against somebody, or treating children like shit. She would also say something if she noticed a manager being particularly hard on their employees.

Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?   Tipping has always confused Redd. There’s something about a rule for 20% or something? She doesn’t know. She just gives a hefty amount since she has quite a bit of money from the stunts she does. When Ducky got older, he taught her that tips are generally given based off of the quality of service. But the thing is, Redd always thinks the quality is great and continues to tip a large amount of money.

Do they hold doors open for people?   Yeah! If she sees somebody is walking her way, she’s very polite and holds open the door. Especially if it’s older people or children. She knows how rude some people are and refuses to be like that intentionally.

Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items?   Hmmm, this is hard. On one hand she woudn’t want to because in fairness, she got there first, and she’s all about speed. But I think if somebody asked her if they could go in front, she would let them.

How do they respond to babies crying in public?   She runs over to try to cheer them up by making funny faces and holding them. She tries to remember that she needs to ask the child’s parents if she can hold them and throw them up in the air, but it’s hard because she just gets so excited.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?   She is considered funny! The people who played in the campaign I created her in loved her. She thinks she’s frigging hilarious. Even if her jokes don’t make any sense.

What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…   Redd finds almost everything funny. Scare pranks crack her up but she doesn’t like the ones where the person gets genuninely upset. Slapstick can be pretty hilarious to her but, really, almost anything can crack her up.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?   She hates that kind of humor. It’s not funny if somebody is getting genuinely hurt.

Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?   She doesn’t really let them know unless she remembers. She’s very forgetful. She doesn’t lie about why she’s late. Redd is very blunt and open about things. “Yeah, I was late because I was too busy sleepin’! Sorry!” 

Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?   I mean, she’ll eat it anyways. Can’t let food go to waste. Redd will eat just about anything, she’s not a picky eater.

Do they have a large or small group of friends?   Large. She makes friends wherever she goes. She has a lot of love to give and passion to show.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?   As of right now, occaisonally Ducky. Sometimes she’ll initially lie about how she deals with things and Ducky sees right through it, so then she’ll open up and apologize.

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?   YES. She loves them. She gets to make more friends, be her obnoxious self, and show off. Plus, there’s almost always free food.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?   Center of attention. She doesn’t mind being more in the mix, but when se does, she accidentally makes it about herself. Her loudness is a great factor to this.

C. Morality

Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?   Redd is a very morally grey character. She’ll drink alcohol despite being underage, but she won’t do drugs because that’s bad. Redd has a very upright moral code, but once murdered a acquaintance to save her little brother, and tried to get away with it. She also beat the shit out of her father because of his incessant abuse, believing she left him for dead. Redd believes in justice and getting what you deserve. She bases her actions off of these things: will this hurt someone, do they deserve it, will I get hurt, will this affect Ducky negatively, and what would Ducky think?

Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?   Redd felt incredily guilty about murdering December in order to save Ducky. She confessed immediately after getting caught and regretted taking an innocent life. She knows it was wrong, but would probably do it all over again if she had to.

Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?   Not necessarily. She doesn’t mind being friends with people who are completely different form her. Really the only basis she has for being around people is that they aren’t jerks who hurt people.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?   Redd thinks she’s a god reincarnated. She knows she’s dangerous, attractive, and physically superior. She doesn’t think so in a shallow way, but more in confidence. She thinks she’s the best. Because she has to.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?   This is tricky. But in the end, they would go out the window for her. SHe would know it isn’t right, but wants survival of the fittest.

What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?   If she sees somebody doing this, she will immediately give them both. She always carries cash and woud go to the nearest place and buy them a meal. She knows the world can be rough.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?   Redd believes people can change over time, but is very hesitant to believe it firsthand with people who have done wrong. She’s very hypocritical when it comes to this.

Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?   I mean, she doesn’t really give a shit. She doesn’t have too many expectations and goes with the flow.

D. Religion and Life and Death

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?   Redd isn’t religious. She doesn’t practice and she thinks religion is a little silly, but respects people’s beliefs and finds them pretty neat.

Do they believe in an afterlife?   She doesn’t, but she hopes it exists. It doesn’t make sense to her as a concept, but she wants to be able to continue existing somewhere, especially if her loved ones will also be there.

How comfortable are they with the idea of death?   She’s comfortable with it but doesn’t want to die until she’s ready. Redd gets sad when people she dies and she takes it hard, but she knows and understands it’s a natural thing and tries to cope via those beliefs.

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?   Redd would absolutely take that offer up. I feel like she would love to be immortal, but would only hesitate because then that meant she would have to continue to exist without her loved ones. So actually, she wouldn’t! The desire to be with her loved ones is stronger than her desire to do everything in the world there is to do.

Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?   She does believe in ghosts. Everything has energy, and energy can neither be created or destroyed, so somebody’s existence has to go somewhere, right?

E. Education and Intelligence

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?   Hahahaha, Redd is surprisingly intelligent in some aspects, but otherwise, she’s very simple, to put it plainly. She can definitely be an idiot and not understand or get a lot of things, but she’s smart in other areas.

Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)   Bodily-kinesthetic is most definitely her strongest. Her weakest would probably be logical-mathematical or lingustic. She doesn’t understand math as well as she wishes she did, and she’s not great with words. Redd speaks with malapropisms.

How many languages do they speak?   A lot! Whether she gets all of the words and pronounces them correctly, is another question.

Did they enjoy school if they went to it?   Redd enjoyed Hope’s Horizon but often slept in academic classes that bored her. She was too hyper for everything else that if the class couldn’t keep her focused, she would just sleep or eat.

What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education?   She eventually graduated from Hope’s Horizon, but didn’t go to college right away. She took a break for quite a few years until Ducky pushed her to attend college and get a degree. Although she wasn’t super open to it, she wanted to please Ducky. And when Ducky said, “Yeah? Well I dare you to go to college”, well, she just simply couldn’t refuse.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?   Redd loves learning about different things as long as they excite her. If they don’t, she doesn’t seek it out. If someone starts teaching her about something boring, she’ll try her best to get out of it or loudly proclaim “SNOOZEEE” if it’s a snore-fest.

Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous?   No, no, and yes. Taking tests has never been her strong suit and she’ll just goof around and guess.

What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?   Leaving her father alive, but also letting her emotions control her in that moment.

F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?   After escaping her abusive father, Redd purchased a mansion to accomodate to her and Ducky. She ran away and looked for an abandoned house to stay at for just a day or two. Luckily, she found a giant, red mansion. She contacted the agent and bought it off.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?   The home she has right now is her ideal home. It’s in a large secluded area so that her and Ducky can have some peace and quiet for once.

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?   Nope. Redd takes up to much room and needs the space to run, move about, stretch, etc.

How clean are they overall with home upkeep?   Not very clean at all. When she remembers to clean, she tries realy hard, but it ends up still looking very messy. Her idea of cleaning is putting things into “organized” piles.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?   Redd can be pretty handy, but she usually is the one accidentally breaking whatever needs fixing. She’ll usually come to Piper or Ducky if something needs fixing. If neither are available, she’ll resort to Google and epically fail at the instructions and somehow create something entirely new. Or get it to work but in a very bizarre and unrecedented way.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?   Redd’s full time job is as the SHSL Daredevil. She loves doing action-y things, stunts, dares, etc. It’s her life.

What’s their “dream career” or job situation?   She has it! Travelling the world, meeting people, eating good food, and doing dangerous things.

How often are they home?   As often as she can be. She likes coming home because it’s the first place that feels like home. But for the most part, she’s out and about.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?   Not a homebody, but does enjoy being at home. She loves spending time with Ducky and inviting friends over to her mansion to play games, work out, swim, etc.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?   Redd doesn’t do art! She thinks art is beautiful and music is too, but she doesn’t know how to do either of them. She’ll participate when she feels like it but gets just a little dscouraged when it doesn’t come out as great as she wanted it to.

What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?   Anything extreme? Redd will love. Skateboarding, shark tanks, skydiving. But she secretly likes spending time doing what Ducky likes the most.

Would they enjoy a theme park?   She would LOVE theme parks, but kicked out of some of them for reacting certain ways and trying to do dangerous things.

G. Family and Growing Up

Is your OC close to their family?   Only Ducky. Her father was a real piece of shit and her mother left when she was very young, never to be seen again. Ducky is her life. She protects him and wants to make sure he grows up normally.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?   Her and her little brother Ducky.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?   She finds Ducky very supportive! She relies on him a lot.

What kind of childhood did your OC have?   A very terrible one. Her father would get drunk and beat her. When Ducky was born, she had to take care of him because herfather would just drink and watch tv and go to work. When Ducky was a toddler, her father realized he had somebody else he could take his anger out on. When he first swung his fist at Ducky, Redd’s eyes widened in fear and anger and she jumped in front of Ducky, taking the hit for him. Ever since then, she made sure Ducky was never home alone with him and took every hit and blow intended for him.

Did they go through any typical phases growing up?   Not really. Redd didn’t get to have any typeof typical childhood she she grew up very differently.

Do they have any favorite childhood memories?   When she took Ducky to the movies for the first time. He was so excited and she was so happy she could treat him to it.

Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?   LOL. Redd wishes she could forget all the times her father scarred and burned her. She has long scars and burn marks from the abuse all over her back, arms, legs, stomach, etc. Most places where people can’t see. She used to wear long sleeves and jeans so nobody would notice. Once she ran away, she started becoming more comfortable in shorts and short sleeved shirts. She wishes she could forget her father, but uses her scars and marks to remind herself of her dedication and protectiveness.

H. Romance and Intimacy

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?   Redd is pansexual and panromantic. She’s always been sure of having all types of love but was initially confused as to why her father hated gay people. She thought it was a bad thing. She soon realized it wasn’t and came to grips with it. Redd is also polyamorous but doesn’t mind being monogamous if her partner is.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?   Yes! Redd is very thoughtful, but a bit awkward at first. She’ll always try and make sure her and her partner(s) have fun and feel loved. In the beginning she’ll forget things and events but eventually she’ll start traingin herself to set reminders.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?   No! She’s polyamorous and believes that whatever feels right to the person, that’s how it is. If someone feels there’s only 1 person for them, then there is! If someone believes there are 3 people for them, then there is!

Does your OC believe in love in first sight?   She does. She loves love.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?   In a way, not really. She believes in the legal advantages of marriage but doesn’t believe marriage is the be-all end-all. Although, a wedding would allow for good food, loud music, and loved ones.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?   She has never cheated on anybody and she has not ben cheated on. You better pray you don’t cheat on her.

What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..)   Someone who is fun and appreciates her for who she is. If they are cool with her, then she’s down.

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?   She doesn’t really have one. She’s perfectly content with whatever they do together. But I guess if I had to say something, good food and an adventure of some kind.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?   Abusive and intentionally mean people.

I. Food

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?   Redd loves salty and spicy foods. Creamy weirds her out a little bit, but she loves food and is willing to eat anything.

Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions…   Nope! Redd requires meat in every meal just because of preference but she’s not allergic to anything.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?   She could never. Meat is like oxygen to her. She thinks it’s wrong but doesn’t think about it too much.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?   Redd is never allowed to cook. She’s too attention defecit and forgetful and bad with directions. She orders out A LOT.

Are they a good cook?   See above.

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?   Absolutely. She eats steak and bacon almost every day.

J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects

Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?   Redd is more on the left side of the spectrum. 

How politically aware are they?   Redd is surprisingly politically aware. She used to pay no attention to things like that becase she didn’t think it affected her. But traveling has opened her eyes and now she is more open to it.

How politically active are they?   Redd will absolutely fight for rights and take place in marches. She’ll go to protests and be the loudest one there.

Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?   Ducky is her source of correct information, and Violet and Jack as well. In fact, there’s a group chat dedicaed just to Redd linking articles to them asking about teir credibility.

Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?   Absolutely. Redd is a very passionate woman and won’t back down for what she believes in. She would have certainly marched in the Women’s March.

How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs?   Not well. She’s not very open-minded in that aspect and will get in their face about if they even show ANY sign of agression.

How much interest in environmental health do they have?   She is interested but not as interested as she could be.

In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle?   Yes! She tries to be aware but often forgets. She does indeed believe in global warming.

L. For the Writer/Owner

How have your characters changed since you created them?   Originally, I was going to have Redd be a little more serious. But then I decided to make her this lovable ginat goofball. I really love the archetype of dangerous girls who could kill you, but have a big heart and are dorks.

What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?   My biggest themes with her are action, overcoming abuse, and love.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?   This is hilarious because me and Redd have a lot in common. Each OC of mine takes parts of myself and I create and add things to them. Redd takes my passion and what I wish I could be. She’s like an extroverted me. She has my dedication and stubbornness as well. However, she’s more blunt, more extroverted, more active, etc.

Would you hang out with your OC if you could?   PLEASE. I would love to hang out with her. She would be great.

How did you come up with your OC?   @thores came up with a tabletop RPG for a Danganronpa type game. We had to create three characters, and so Redd was the first character I came up with. I wanted to play a more physical character since most of mine reflect my on physical abilities and comforts. I decided SHSL Daredevil would be pretty cool. I then came up with her personality, found a reference picture, and built her background from there.