#killing myself challenge any% speedrun

[adamparrishdyke]

FUCK YOU. CWILBUR PLAYLIST NUCLEAR BOMB.

[retphienix]

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!

I've officially beaten a game from my childhood- and on a respectable difficulty all the way through :)

So, the fuckin' golden gun mission, I remember seeing my cousin mess around in this one as a kid but I had no idea it'd be such a pain lol

Samedi gets tougher each revive, and on the final one I straight up just couldn't unload enough ammo into him to win since ammo is a pain to get on this difficulty as is- but I'd unload like 150 rounds into him and then get swarmed by dudes.

Unless I'm getting the billion retries mixed up, I killed him ONCE on his final phase and then I just couldn't figure out how to get the golden gun.

Though that might have been on my research run? (shown below with cheats going)

Because that's right- after mashing my head in for so long I realized I didn't know how to get the golden gun in the first place- I FOUND it- but I kept triggering the trap.

So this mod comes with a save that's done everything already, so I threw on cheats on that profile and messed with the golden gun room for a while until I found out how to get it.

After figuring it out for myself I swapped back over to my profile and did it!

With the golden gun in hand this map is miles less stressful lol

I'm glad I was able to do it without looking it up- though I did cheat to speed up my "Run to the room, trigger alarm, rinse repeat" nonsense "slightly".

Goldeneye is... well it's goldeneye.

Do you expect some grandiose new take on an N64 classic FPS?

Because I have opinions just not grandiose lol.

Goldeneye surprised me in how different it feels from most FPS I've played.

It's the objectives.

Some maps feel like a modern FPS "A to B with landmarks / setpieces along the way" but with objectives that often meant going on detours or tackling rooms differently than usual.

Some other maps felt like older FPS "dropped into a sandbox with no real direction" but with objectives- which made it play out kind of like a modern hitman game where you can do things however and in whatever order and then you get to the exit.

This was surprising, because I THOUGHT I knew how goldeneye felt to play, but then it confronted me with gameplay I didn't think it had. Or rather, I didn't comprehend it had, I guess? Because I've watched speedruns, but it kind of melted into the background when they already knew what to do. In my mind this was a bog standard shooty game, but the objectives really define the entire experience, it's neat.

Basically, I was surprised at how well goldeneye holds it's own gameplay identity. I mean, I played this a lot as a kid but pretty much just multiplayer or with cheats my cousin unlocked for me, but I thought I knew what the game was like because of that. I did not.

It's actually pretty different than most FPS I've played- AND it holds up as a really fun time/challenge today which I definitely didn't expect lol

Now goldeneye without any adjustments I would argue still holds up, but I probably wouldn't have had the patience to do what I've done here if I was playing on that version.

This was a mouse injector version with some minor QOL 60FPS adjustments, this is not how the game originally felt to play as far as controls are concerned- but man.

The thing is, if you just slapped mouse controls onto a mediocre old shooter it'd be "okay".

Putting mouse controls into goldeneye makes me Feel like I'm playing it the way it Felt as a kid, before I knew what good controls were etc.

It Feels Right, despite not being how the game was originally envisioned.

Because of that, and just because I had a fucking blast, I can't recommend mouse control goldeneye enough!

This was so much fun and just a solid damn time :) Some of the design decisions made in order to make an FPS on the N64 feel fair- like the 9 billion different ways enemies react to being shot / stagger, feel fantastic and make you wish more modern shooters would increase the time to kill and allow such interactions to happen.

Anyways, this concludes my unscheduled Goldeneye but with mouse controls intermission lol.

[llatimeria]

UPDATE: ANOTHER PLAYER HAS BEATEN NES TETRIS!!!

Fractal, another classic tetris legend, has now crashed the game with his BARE. HANDS. (Literally. Other players at his skill level wear gloves so they don't get blisters. Fractal uses lotion instead.)

People who watched the other Gamescout video I linked will recognize Fractal as the guy who was streaming his own crash attempts when Scuti made his own landmark achievement; when he heard Scuti was on an incredible run from his twitch chat, he forfeit his own attempt to watch Scuti instead. It's probably the most heartwarming thing I've ever seen come out of a competitive gaming community, and this whole thing really exemplifies that even though the leaderboards rank players against each other, the spirit of the community is not player vs. player, it's players vs. game.

That's why challenge-run gaming communities are so deeply endearing to myself and many others, and why I highly recommend getting into this corner of the gaming world. There're actually a lot of cool gaming challenges beyond speedrunning which fuck just as hard as the fastest speedruns, if not harder. If there's a weird thing you think might be technically possible in your favorite games, I can guarantee you that there's someone trying it. And, if they aren't, there's no harm in trying to do it yourself. Play Tetris til it breaks, play an entire Mario game without collecting a single coin, beat a Pokemon game with just a Ditto, try playing the Hitman trilogy without killing anyone (including your targets)... Anything you want! You might have to adhere to specific rules to participate in a particular leaderboard, but nothing says you can't just play by yourself and decide to implement any rules you want, like banning a glitch you hate doing or allowing a strat that makes things easier on you (like savestates). The gaming challenge world is your oyster!!! Do what you want!!!

So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever

[pocketbelt]

Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree (PS5)

I somehow keep doing it to myself where I end up doing these DLCs on NG+ or higher, where enemies and bosses have increased HP and damage. That made starting out a fucking nightmare, when I finally got there after sprinting over the entire game in speedrun fashion (I killed that git who gets you to Mohg fast, two years ago, when I wrapped up getting the Platinum).

Shadow of the Erdtree is more or less everything you could want an Elden Ring expansion DLC to be: a whole new map, probably about the size of Liurnia and Limegrave combined with maybe the little outlying bit at the south added on, densely layered, filled with fresh new faces out to rip yours off and eat it. There's lots of new and fucking delightful weapons (the Smithscript Weapon set is one of the best additions they've ever done), the bosses are often very inventive and exciting and fun to see (you need to do the Drake Peak and Cathedral of Manus Metyr questlines in particular, because goddamn), and many of the new zones are absolutely gorgeous. Being a shadowy realm, the ever-present lumiscient gold of The Lands Between, oppressive in the symbology of the dominant religion and god's influence on the world, have been cast out from gold-tinted greys and blacks, and zones awash with blue, red or purple as their primary colours, among others. It's a gorgeous place, that Shadow Realm.

Much hay has been made about the difficulty, as ever, and I suspect it's almost entirely to do with playstyles rather than the game being unfair. To encourage exploration and provide a challenge for endgame players, SOTE cranks up stats but provides a mitigating factor in Shadow Realm Blessings, an always-on DLC-zone-only stat multiplier that gets enhanced by burning Scadutree Fragments at rest points. I don't doubt most of the difficulty complaints are from people who ignored this entirely and tried to force the central bosses with few if any tiers of the Blessing to back them up.

Not only that but SOTE's major bosses, both mandatory and optional, trend toward using super-heavy elemental and magical attacks, have really far reach and often big AOEs and are almost all hyper-aggressive with little downtime between attacks. A lot of Souls players play by committing to a specific stat spread build and just trying to one-style-beats-all it, which I don't think works so well in SOTE (likely on purpose, to force exploring for new toys and experimentation with your existing gigantic warchest from the main game). Combine that with the tendency of some to treat these action RPGs that are really thick on the RPG side as ultra-restrictive solely-competitive action games, and SOTE feels custom-made to generate whinging fury out of many.

It doesn't all get a pass, no: SOTE's final boss is probably the absolute limit of the design trends FromSoft favours for hard fights these days, it is the exact point where they can't push them any further and they risk working themselves into an awkward corner. Not only does the final boss have three different magic types (holy, bloodflame and gravity), most of his attacks have a single second or less of downtime between them depending on how his AI's feeling in the moment, and at least one magic attack is actually completely unavoidable, you will take damage from it. His combo strings are extremely long, extremely damaging and as said, the downtime is so low that he chains them together regularly and he will sometimes just never stop swinging. They can't really push it any further than this before it actually does become unfair, and particularly I take umbrage with the completely unavoidable magic attack because the entire fight is already an immense endurance run, "forced" damage is a step too far.

Saying that, though, I did end up winning and pretty easily by taking 20 minutes to consider options, respeccing to be able to use a certain shield and spear, and then adjusting my items and talismans and rune to maximise HP (over 2000!) and stamina (220+ with boosted regen, and a physick to give greater regen). Trying to dodge wasn't working so I maximised being a brick shithouse, and it worked, by god.

And that's why I love these fucking games; they're damn great RPGs. Ignore the bitch in your ear, hopped up on Twitch streams and eSports competitiveness, crying about how using the game mechanics to play the game is dishonourable: find what works and use it.

[tootiredtricycle]

hello i am hax anon… Genuinely i am so thankful you’re putting so much effort into this hax post thank you sooooo much <33 i come from lifesteal where we have an amazing team of archivists that neatly have every vod saved on a spreadsheet .. used to having things handed to me on a silver platter heheh . but ive really been struggling to get into mcsr because I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON. i love these little speedrunner people already but i want to love them more!!! again. thank u so much i appreciate you and your service to the mcsr community okay bye thank u.

hellooo that was quick haha i was hoping you would see it

yw, thank you for sending the ask! i've been meaning to learn how to properly save vods for a while now so this is just the final nudge i needed, really. i'm assuming you saw my silverr reign post – it was my first time making a post like that and it was very satisfying so i am happy to make one for hax. it's fun to look back on memories, and it's always exciting to have new people interested in mcsr!

ahh lifesteal archivists...i have heard legends peepoWow

yea most runners don't save their vods, save a select few like feinberg (who trims his sometimes) and silverr who saves (most of) his full vods when he remembers/is reminded. fein has a dedicated vods channel and silverr has a playlist that used to be 250+ jumbled, undated vods until i offered to organize them after getting made mod.

anyways

welcome to mcsr! honestly i still feel pretty new myself haha even though i've been here close to a year atp. don't worry too much about not understanding everything that they do ingame, you'll start picking stuff up as you go :) i'm not the best source of info on speedrun tech (i've barely played any mc myself), but you can join the massive minecraft java speedrunning discord (javacord) or look for videos on youtube to get the gist of what people are doing in speedruns.

mcsr is more of a twitch/streaming-based community rather than yt-based – you'll find that a lot of runners' yts are mostly filled with personal best (pb) runs or failed runs. there are of course people who create fantastic youtube content (that's a whole 'nother post), but the majority is livestreamed.

there are a couple main categories that people stream: 1.16+ any% random seed glitchless (aka rsg, the most popular mc speedrunning category where the main goal is to get to the end and kill the dragon aka beat the game), 1.16 all advancements (aa), set seed glitchless (ssg), mcsr ranked (players parallel 1v1 speedrun the same seed from a filtered pool of seeds, whoever kills the dragon in their world first wins and gains elo. here is the website to download the mod made by RedLimeRL and OliverMCSR, you can join the discord to learn more. there is a quarterly ranked playoffs tournament hosted on feinberg's twitch, past playoffs vods can be found here and we are currently in season 5. here is a separate website with a live leaderboard for this season, you can see all the details of every match and directly compare player stats, very cool).

recently, people (including hax as you probably know) have also been streaming 100 hardcore, which is a challenge to beat the game (usually in 1.16) on 100 consecutive random seeds (no reset) in hardcore mode. very difficult. couriway was the first runner to attempt 100hc back in early 2022 after completing his initial 1,000 no reset runs challenge (you can find videos about that and his current 100,000 no reset runs challenge on his yt). only 2 runners so far have completed the 100hc challenge: feinberg and energy9802. some have gotten very close, including taffel (96, died to lava on run 97 rip) and hax (99). i will be talking about hax's 99 streak and its glorious end in my hax post.

mcsr is a wonderful place. it has its rough moments but for the most part it is a lovely, accepting community. when i first got into mcsr i was swept away (and still am!) by the constant innovation and clear passion that shines through in the community-organized events. just off the top of my head: speedrun showdown (my personal introduction to mcsr), eye spy invitational (aka esi, you'll hear about hax's role in esi3 soon), mcsr ranked playoffs, lockout bingo, various beat the record live (btrl) tourneys, weeklies, couriway's no reset tourney (which he plans to do for every 1,000 run milestone!), mcsr world cup, an assortment of charity events (such as the couples counseling 3 scout-and-route tourney that is happening this weekend to support the trevor project – it is being livestreamed on President_Poundcake's twitch, bracket here), and assuredly many more that are slipping my mind.

all that to say: hang tight! it's going to be a good one :)

(edit: here is the hax post!)

[allywritesforfun]

{Just Friends?} Punz x Reader

summary: a classic friends to lovers fic 

pronouns: she/her

word count: 884

trigger warning: swearing

a/n: this is gonna be really cringy because im trying to do better with descriptions, scary. but you only learn with practice, and quite frankly punz is the only person I wanna get this close with /hj

a/n pt 2: I take that back I actually love this piece

masterlist

“So what?” Punz giggled at you. “You're really gonna sit across the table from me? And sit on the floor?”

Oh Thursday’s. You’re favorite day of the week, and not because it reminded you of Thanksgiving turkey. No, but because Thursday’s were you and Punz’s ‘date night’. Not a real date, no, never. You two would ruin each other in a whole different type of commitment that neither of you were ready for.

It was clear to everyone that you two were head over heels for each other, you even made jokes about it. But, when you two got together, there was going to be no breaking up, only moving up. Being together was your end game. 

It was such an awkward spot to be in. Neither of you were looking to date someone else, just one another, yet no one wanted to get together. Not yet, it wasn't the right time.

Time. When was it ever going to be the right time? Probably soon enough. Whenever it was supposed to happen, it will. Sitting next to Punz made you feel a different type of warm. It started in your belly and worked it’s way up to your heart, every square inch of your body bubbling with excitement and joy.

Only Punz made you feel this way, no one else. He knew that, and you didn't have to tell him for him to figure it out. It was clear by the way you looked at him, so bright and wide-eyed. There was no denying that his eyes were meant to meet yours.

If you sat on the couch with him, you risked touching. Touching was definitely your thing, you are all for PDA, and Punz was no attest. But, the second you touched, you were overwhelmed with a wave of fear. Fear of denial, fear of making him uncomfortable. Sitting across from him was the only way to avoid this, “Well yes, on the floor. This coffee table is too low for another chair and quite frankly, it is comfortable.”

“You just wanna see my hot ass face more,” Punz teased.

You felt your cheeks grow red with a blush, “Pfft, no. It is just easier to talk to you.”

“Because you can see my hot ass face,” Punz argued. “Y’know, its okay. I find myself staring at myself sometimes. I am quite a sight.”

You rolled your eyes, “Cut it out, Punzie. I made this mac and cheese for us to enjoy, just not talk over.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the outline of the table, “You do make a delicious mac and cheese. I must admit, ravishing.”

You leaned forward, the exact same way that he did, challenging him, “Then eat hot boy.”

Punz nodded, accepting the challenge. He licked his index finger, maintaining intense eye contact with you. His hand moved out of your line of sight, but the screech of your bowl moving against the glass was enough to let you know he was dipping his hand in your bowl to eat.

You were going to defend your bowl, but with those beautiful sky blue eyes, you couldn't. He had you under his spell, it was clear as day. You couldn't even get yourself to focus on your own actions.

Before you could recognize what was happening, Punz was chewing inches away from your face. You stood your ground, “How does it taste?” God, you were so close that any emphasis on words was enough to make your lips touch. 

He stared back at you and swallowed, “Not as good as I imagine you taste.”

“Mmm... wouldn't you like to know?”

He winked, “Just a little curious.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Curiosity killed the cat.”

He smirked, “Good thing I’m not a cat.”

Punz’s hand speedrunned its way to the back of your neck, pushing you towards him making your lips collide in one deep emotional kiss.

A kiss long awaited, long overdue. His lips were perfectly in sync with yours, every movement created a perfect symphony. His hand slowly guided its way forward to your check, caressing and rubbing it with such love. You could feel yourself melting into him, becoming one as he dominated you.

You two only let go to get well needed air. Anyone from the outside would think that you two were starstruck lovers, finally getting a chance to meet in secret, but you weren’t. Nothing in this world except the two of you were keeping you apart.

Tonight that all changed. Out of breath you managed to whisper out, “What the hell was that?”

Punz, just as out of breath as you were, offered his hand to you. You took it to slide around the side of the table. He pulled you up by him and placed your hands on his knees, “That was what we needed.”

You smiled at him, nodding in agreement, “The mac and cheese?”

“Fuck the mac and cheese!” Punz yelled, yanking your hands to his lips, peppering them with quick kisses. “I have waited to get the courage for over a year now to attempt something like that and you’re worried about the damn mac and cheese?”

You laughed leaning forward, falling into his chest, “Just friends?”

“Oh fuck no! You're mine now whether you like it or not.”

[theamityelf]

Okay, my thoughts are as follows. (And these are all assuming the teamwork is 1-on-1, and also I did not think any of it through.)

I feel like Sokka would have the easiest time momentarily putting personal grudges aside on the basis of strategy. He would not be friendly, but he would talk through the plan without losing focus, keep a generally calm/light tone, and honestly he and Azula would probably have a mutual respect thing going on if they talk to each other long enough, because they are both huge assets to each other when on the same side. Unfortunately, this means that Azula would spend the whole time going, "Okay, as soon as his role in helping me through this is over, I've got to kill him; he's very good at what he does, and this is the best opportunity to remove him from my plate of adversaries." But Sokka probably knows this. Also, maybe enemies to lovers. What the hey.

Azula and Aang are two gifted kids who are at vastly different places in the gifted kid burnout journey and also with vastly different baggage about their own skills. After it's understood that they need to work together and Aang does that doe-eyed frowny face for whenever he's dealing with a serious enemy in close quarters, Aang will be floating around effortlessly, and Azula will hold herself to such high standards for keeping up with him. Like, normally Aang will drift ahead of his friends, and they either let it happen or ask him to slow down, but Azula takes it as an implicit challenge and goes out of her way to keep pace with him and not show that it's a strain to do that. (I don't necessarily mean the literal walking speed would be the point of contention; my main point is that there would be some area where Azula feels she needs to best or match him unnecessarily. Usually, she's great at teamwork and letting other people use their unique skills, but Aang's particular effortless vibe would be different because he doesn't acknowledge her as his superior like Ty Lee always makes a point of doing.) Until it reaches a point where Aang does that face of concern and slight confusion and says, "Azula, you're exhausted. Why don't we take a rest?" What I'm saying is, if this cooperation goes on for a significant length of time, it would turn into Aang cheerfully going "You know, it doesn't have to be perfect. You've been a big help anyway!" while flying circles around Azula and lowkey infuriating her. And she would have to bring him down to her level by subtly probing at old wounds. So, placing the two of them together would be the gifted kid burnout speedrun for both.

I'd say Suki would be hostile and uncooperative on the basis of the entire kidnapping and identity theft situation, but she got along with Zuko easily in the Boiling Rock, so clearly she can get over extreme slights for the sake of the mission. She's a professional. It would be a tense and unpleasant working environment, but they would get it done with unprecedented amounts of romantic tension that would not bear any fruit.

I feel like Toph would refuse to admit she even needs Azula's help. Like, I understand the constraints of the question, but I feel like in this situation Toph would just be like "I can do it by myself," for a while, and Azula would have to put on a persona that is easier to get along with just to gain access to Toph as a resource. Even so, Toph would do her part of things (whatever the plan of action/attack is) with an attitude of "I'm doing this for me, and I'm not relying on you to do your part; you're just doing that for you."

Katara's temper and Azula's needling would be a joy to watch in action. It would turn into flirting, they would be bickering full-time, and I would enjoy it tremendously.

(I need to be careful, because I am perpetually on the verge of writing a fanfiction where Azula is yandere for one of the Water Tribe siblings, and I simply should not.)

(Zuko isn't here, since Azula's relationship with him is a whole other mess).

@atla-polls

And please reblog!

[wither-rose-circus]

I wanna get into the mcyt fandom but it seems extremely complex and I've got no clue where to start

While I wouldn’t necessarily call it complex, the Minecraft YouTube community is very massive and very old and can hardly be boiled down to one singular “fandom.” The only thing you really need to do before joining is ask yourself what kind of content you’re looking for. Do you enjoy just watching people make things? Do you like drama and roleplay? Would you prefer casual fun of people just playing the game together? Do you like one-shot challenge videos? Or maybe long term survival series? Perhaps you’d just like a variety of content so long as it involves Minecraft?

Your answer will lead you down several different branches of content, many of which I myself am not familiar with. But I can point you in a few directions based on creators I’ve seen, myself.

Do you want to watch:

A group of friends just having fun and playing on a server together? I suggest Hermitcraft

There are 26 hermits as of the current season (9), but don’t worry, you can watch the seasons in any order from any POV. The only real “plot” on Hermitcraft is a bunch of people doing their own thing until they run into each other. My personal recommendations to start with are Grian, Mumbo Jumbo, Goodtimeswithscar, ImpulseSV, or Geminitay, but you can find a list of them here and see if anyone strikes your fancy!

A dramatic, story-focused roleplay akin to DnD? Try Empires SMP

Empires SMP is a partially narrative-driven server that spans across 12 different “empires,” each with its own theme and ruler. The main drive of the story is how each ruler interacts with each other, but an overarching storyline involving a demon hellbent on ending the world forms about 1/3 of the way through. If you’re interest in that aspect of the server specifically, I’d recommend Smajor1995, ShubbleYT, Geminitay, Joey Graceffa, or Mythicalsausage. However, that’s just season 1, which is a self-contained story. If you’d like to get into something similar on the ground floor, though, Empires season 2 is starting this Saturday (same cast, new story), so it’d be a great place to start with no catching up on the previous season required!

Basic survival multiplayer? How about 3rd Life SMP

3rd Life is a hardcore series in which 14 players are given 3 lives, color coded to green, yellow, and red. Players on their green or yellow lives are simply expected to survive, but players on red lives are encouraged to cause as much death and destruction as possible before they die and are eliminated. It has two sequels as well, Last Life and the currently ongoing Double Life, both of which feature the same cast. I’d recommend starting with Grian, Inthelittlewood, Zombiecleo, or Smajor1995.

Challenge or variety videos? Some of my personal favorites are Wadzee, Tommyinnit, Fundy, Wisp, and Dreamwastaken

They have full playlists of various random challenges, from speedrunning the game before another player kills them, to beating some of the most ridiculous mods, to getting shocked when they take damage, to beating custom difficulties, to coding viewer suggestions into the game.

Of course, these are all very surface level and based only on creators I have personally watched. There are so many more people I could have included, and even more I’ve never heard of. I know that sounds intimidating, but really, this list is just some suggestions to get you going, get you talking to people, and eventually get you more recommendations. In a “fandom” that doesn’t follow one particular show, you’ve got to make your own path.

The only advice for getting into the Minecraft YouTube community I can really give you is to watch Minecraft content on YouTube. That’s all you have to do.

[whoslaurapalmer]

utena manga AND adolescence manga!!!! the longest of any of my utena posts why did i have so much to say. 

-i do have to say that the box set is amazing. i’ve never owned hardcover manga before!! and the art is really beautiful and i love all the color illustrations....... -also came with a poster!! but i, don’t particularly want naked utena and anthy on my wall. 

-i always love utena, so much  -“it’s not shocking pink, it’s rose! it’s a nice color. i picked it out, after all.” babygirl  (-omg the explanation that there is a list of stylists that she could get uniforms from and at least she picked one on the list) -poor kaido.......he’s the true Pre-Series Friend Who Shows Up In The First Episode And Is Never Heard From Again Once The Plot Kicks In 

-i like that the manga has an explanation of how utena found ohtori academy because, you do wonder -- but i also like how she’s just There in the anime, with absolutely no explanation of how she got There, she’s just There and maybe she’s always been there!, re: time, it ultimately doesn’t matter, it’s where she wound up regardless  -the.......floaty dreaminess of it......... -uggg wait especially because even though it has been akio manipulating her around all this time she still doesn’t truly go to ohtori because of akio she goes because of anthy 

-i’m. look i don’t even want to say it cause this is a straight-up terrible nickname and i am in pain over it but i have to say something  -mr -mr l  -mr  -licky -lick  -i have to wonder how other people have translated that 

-me: hey that looks like he licked the tears off her face??? utena: i named him --  the narrator living inside my brain: and at that moment lulu vandelay considered launching a book across the room for the first time in her twenty-six years of life

-you know utena if your aunt got transfered to amsterdam, you still would’ve wound up at an ohtori academy  -what even happens at the ohtori in amsterdam??????????????  -what  -do they do an exchange program?? do they ever get anyone back??? is amsterdam also creating a world?????? or are they fine over there??? -is it alt universe ohtori???? 

-chu-chu is so fluffy!!!! so soft.......big squish........huggable............ -anthy making him a tie because she felt bad about him not wearing anything!!!! 

-THE MANGA MOVES VERY FAST HONESTLY -especially because i hit a point where i too was reading as fast as possible to get through it but there was still SO MUCH 

-no nanami????? no nanami at all??????? except for that one picture of her???????  -no???????  -look. i really love nanami and i didn’t realize how much i really liked her until she wasn’t there :( cause i liked her in the first place but i miss all her antics :( and i liked where her character arc went a lot :(  -she’s very loud about this but she’s really just that tumblr post that’s like ‘i put ‘i love salsa’ in the chat and no one said anything and i wondered if salsa had killed a parent or if salsa ever really existed’ and that’s relatable  -and the second-guessing embarrassment of every single thing in your life and yet the commitment to radical high-and-mighty confidence about the same exact things to compensate??? good for her!!!! 

-utena, with the power of dios: i can see every move! me: wow didn’t know dios had the sharingan 

-INTRIGUED actually by touga having. a secret room with a big fucking calendar with zodiac symbols and all the fights predetermined  -like there’s something super interesting about that  -like...... -on one hand a physical representation of The Plot Being Controlled. The Plot Has A Map Now. on the other hand, touga has to write it all down like a nerd bc he’s not akio and has no sway himself over the narrative and he needs a reference 

-i’m absolutely fascinated by how a group of people can come together and create The Same Story that is so different in the manga and the anime.....  -just. how  -in a good way and a bad way. in the good way, how do you collaborate with people like that????? in the bad way, how do you create two completely separate thematic takes on the same story  -with so many of the same base scenes!!!! they go completely different ways!!!!! i’m!!!!!!!!!!!! 

-oh i do love the character profiles. i like knowing birthdays!! 

-akio grabbing utena because he thought she was anthy

-it fucking goes from. ‘everyone in this manga wants to fuck touga’ to ‘everyone in this manga will support utena, EVEN TOUGA?????’ like wow  -he’s just.........living with them..................................... -like a creep  -AND HE JUST GIVES UP THE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENCY THAT’S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING  -doesn’t take much to get them to break the system down here but they’re still not breaking the system down here  -oh my god it’s like the sad lemon man movie speedrunning the first 3 books and hitting the plot notes with none of the substantial theme  -it’s just, i don’t think the manga is completely terrible, like i think there are some interesting moments but i also know the common perception is The Manga Is Terrible? so i’m like. do i pick out the interesting things and try and give them meaning? or do i just. wholesale agree that this is, on a whole other thematic plane and terrible  (-my whole life is ‘i should be able to make my own opinion on something!’ vs ‘but i like to read other people’s opinions to make sure i don’t miss anything but that should not replace my own capacity for critical thought which i am clearly capable of and did a great deal of work on as a lit major!!’) (oh this is anxiety.) (it’s a lot of ‘i don’t want to misinterpret this in any way because that is a failure on my part so i’m digging around for explanations’ oh that’s still anxiety.) 

-i mean. the emphasis on ‘friendship’ more than anything with anthy is, disappointing, but i DO also like utena trying to get anthy to make friends and that anthy’s first instinct is to take after wakaba because that’s super cute 

-chu-chu narrating the curry story!!  -he’s just such a sweet bean. 

-utena: akio? the devil, lucifer? me, reigning my brain back in as it shoots into hyperdrive: okay lulu you’re right about the tarot symbolism but now is not the time, bring it back, girl  (......utena’s the fool nemuro hall is the tower the car at the end of the movie is the world anthy stabbing utena is the ten of swords (not in the sense of betrayal but in the end of the cycle/story portrayed in the swords suit)) (ANYWAY) 

-and then touga still somehow stays at the center of the story and utena relies on him....... -there’s a bigger reliance on men in the manga that is not, challenged at all, re: touga and dios -but at least akio’s still a full-on creep  -actually i think he unsettled me just a smidge more which was a big accomplishment, considering the time i almost fell over furniture 

-me: oh my god are utena and anthy gonna switch places???  me: NOOOOOOO -anthy’s coffin breaking because utena puts the ring back on....... -but, like........dios is completely incapable of action as well and utena doesn’t need him to rescue anthy  -dios is more some ethereal grand thing here instead of an idealized past self that akio has lost access to and can never regain and was never truly good in the first place  -although utena and anthy switching is, interesting. reinforces akio making utena a princess when again she’s neither and it’s.......a little “in the end, girls are all like rose brides” and women are manipulated around by men, but also, kind of loses what anthy holding the swords meant in the first place? 

-touga: you have to do it, utena me: touga stop trying to steal the scene. get out. get out now 

-THE CASTLE IS REAL????????????????????????? 

-okay the absolute roller coaster between ‘he’s gonna kill dios????’ ‘that’s the manga backstory?????’ ‘DIOS IS JUST DEAD NOW????’ ‘NO HE WAS STILL DIOS THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!’  -oh but you know you could read it as a, killing your past self sort of thing -...........although that doesn’t really vibe here, does it 

-i think them being specifically ‘gods’ takes away from just the, cycle of humanity kind of thing........ -it’s so pleasantly vague in the anime because how dios came to be Dios and why anthy had to put a stop to it just doesn’t matter. it’s not what matters. it’s not what’s important. the fact that it happened at all is what matters.  -and somehow he still wasn’t dios the whole time!!!!!  -“she kept his sword in her bosom, one last token of her love!” that’s an.........interesting way to put it -i mean, yeah maybe?? but also, no?????????????????????????????? 

-anthy’s kind of, watered down a little in the manga too, in a way?  -STABBING UTENA WAS SO IMPORTANT TOO 

-noooooo where are my girls learning that it’s not about being a prince and that it’s just genuine love and being there for someone  -i mean i guess the love is here but. “i must be the prince myself” no!!!! noooooooooo  -you know what i don’t even want to THINK about akio and utena..........like that 

-AND THERE’S STILL TOUGA!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!! TOUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  -anthy: /wearing utena’s uniform me: /staring into the camera like i’m on the office 

-like...............well that just continues the cycle then, doesn’t it, in a way  -which, is its own kind of story.............. -and i guess you could also make a case for ‘well no one’s immediately recovered right after a story that takes time and it’s not always perfect and that could involve anthy emulating utena’ -BUT NO!!!! NO??????? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  -i think that’s giving the manga too much credit considering how much it forced ‘the prince’ at the end!!!!!!!!  -i get it. i get the ‘the manga is terrible.’ i see you.  -it wasn’t, completely terrible, but, wow. i get it. 

-okay hold on i still have two side stories before adolescence

-OH ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH RUKA  -WAS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I HAVE ALREADY SUFFERED  -ruka i still hate you. that’s all i have to say on that 

-and black rose arc condensed to thirty pages????  -the way mikage acts towards mamiya is like. blatantly creepy in the anime but i didn’t think it was here???? rude.  -anthy and utena holding hands after it, though....... 

-OKAY, adolescence  -i feel like, i was unduly harsh on the movie...... -mostly because i was reading the youtube comments on the dub before i watched and people were talking about how terrible the dub was (i did not watch the dub)  -and i knew about the car and i was just really thrown by the car. the cars. just. unexpected  -but if the manga speedruns in a bad way the movie speedruns in a way that not only hit the plot elements but picked up a lot of the thematic elements as well!!  -i mean every arc was touched upon in some way! even the black rose arc! -which haunts me, regularly.  -also i am forever going to be thinking about the fwwm parallel like damn  -it really was a good time....... -oh! this in particular was why i was a little concerned about missing anything in thinking about the manga   -like...is this a bad character choice in good writing, or is this a bad character choice in bad writing? sometimes i’m not always great at that 

-anyway.  -the manga was really mostly the same except somehow touga was more uncomfortable, there were no cars, and utena and touga had sex uggg  -god i SWEAR when i was flipping through last week i saw a car though. i swear???? i thought i did?????  -guess i didn’t!! 

-touga: as long as you keep me there in your heart, i can continue to exist like this. i can stay at this school for all eternity.  me: The Grief™ vs ohtori academy doing its thing vs I HATE THIS AAAAAAAAA 

-anthy, to akio: be gone! you’re only in my mind! me: oh that’s a powerful statement though. re: like, how akio keeps anthy 

-what i DID really really love was the little scene at the end with anthy and utena out of ohtori and older in a planetarium theater after everything and being cute on a date (with chu-chu!) and that that’s how it ends (even if utena was still thinking about touga) with them holding hands walking out............... -the softness!!!! 💖💖 

[bookie-the-reading-junkie]

okay, I need to add more because this has very quickly taken over my brain.

In this AU, Tanjuro was never sick, so he just goes down to town like normal and gets held up. He asks if could stay at Saburo's house for the night as he knows it's dangerous to go up the mountain in the dark, much less with wild animals.

The next morning, he stumbles upon his family.

Now, this AU has to be kind of crack because otherwise it becomes angsty very quickly.

Tanjuro is very perceptive (he could also be Yoriichi's reincarnation) and so he definitely knows that a demon caused this, maybe even which one did.

Kie is the only one alive and like in canon, he brings her down part way before she attacks him. Giyuu tries to kill her and Tanjuro ain't having none of that.

Giyuu: don't you know that thing is a demon?

Tanjuro: how dare you insult my beautiful, wonderful wife like that!

Giyuu:....okay but she is a demon

Tanjuro: so? Anyway, you're a demon slayer right? Give me a sword and point me in the near direction of a trainer, I need to avenge my family. Kie is going to help me

Kie, now having regained some of her senses: mhmph!

Giyuu: I--my job is just to kill demons

Tanjuro, smiling in a very scary manner: listen buddy, i've had a pretty bad day and it's not even 10 am. Either you tell me where to where to get a sword and how to use it or I'm taking yours and going to figure it out myself. I don't condone stealing, but I'll make an except for the man who was about to kill my wife

Giyuu points him in the direction of a cultivator, frankly terrified for his life. Who is Tanjuro's cultivator? haven't figured that out, and it doesn't really matter because he uses the Hinokami Kagura instead. Either way, he finishes training and Final Selection in record time. He is utterly appalled by how young most of the people in the corps are. this will be a reoccurring thing.

Kie joins him on his speedrunning the story missions. Tanjuro is an absolute wife guy. He adores her. He doesn't want to subject her to being shoved in a box, that's undignified. Instead, she wears tons of layers and carries a parasol (and also doesn't wear a bamboo muzzle). She'll hit demons with her forehead so hard blood will spray and it would kill any human and he's just staring at her dreamily and saying "I love you so much honey".

The kamado children make occasional appearances to cheer on their parents killing demons.

Because Tanjuro is super OP and is constantly giving demons Yoriichi flavored PTSD, he basically speedruns through the story and the ranks. He becomes a Hashira (and yeah the timeline wouldn't work because many of the Hashira in canon wouldn't be hashira at that point, but this meant to be crack, so anything goes)

Once again he is utterly appalled by how old everyone is. He's in his late 30s, maybe early 40s. these are all babies. what do you mean you've been in the Corps for several years, you're 20. What do you mean that you're a hashira and a full time doctor, you're 18. what do you mean you got married to three people at 15. What do you mean you're 14 am I in some kind of hell

Ubuyashiki: please Tanjuro, do not worry yourself. I was four years old when I became head of the Corps--

Tanjuro: you were HOW MANY

Tanjuro starts hunting after muzan, with the occasional sidequest of dealing with shitty parents.

Tengen's father waking up in the middle of the night to see a man and woman sitting across from his bed smiling in a very scary way: haha I'm in danger

After the Mugen train arc (Akaza challenged Tanjuro and then getting a face full of Yoriichi PTSD, ran off confused) Tanjuro walks Rengoku back. Shinjuro immediately makes a bad impression on him from how he treats Kyojuro and Senjuro

Shinjuro: *gasps* you're a Sun Breather!

Tanjuro, cracking his knuckles: what about it? you're not going to be breathing for much longer

Kie in the shadow of a wall, holding her parasol like she's going to beat Shinjuro: mhmph!

Kyojuro and senjuro: I appreciate it, but it's really not necessary

Tanjuro doesn't really care all that much about the fact that he might be a reincarnation of Yoriichi. He's immensely grateful to the man for saving his ancestors and passing on the Hinokami Kagura but mostly he's like "neat! a way to kill Muzan easier"

the final arc comes around much sooner with a lot less causalities on the way and in the final arc

Tanjuro catches wind of Ubuyashiki's plan of exploding his wife and two oldest children along with him. Tanjuro has a little chat with him. Ubuyshiki's plan changes immediately

When he finally meets Muzan, all of the Kamado children cheer on their parents

Tanjiro and Nezuko: Yay! avenge us! I know you can do it!

Takeo, Hanako, and Shigeru: RIP OUT HIS SPINE! TEAR OUT HIS ORGANS! HEADBUTT HIS BRAIN INTO A SPATTER OF GOO

Rokuta: you've got this mommy and daddy!

annndddd that's all I have for now. feel free to add

I might have just come up with the best but cursed Demon Slayer Role Swap AU:

Tanjuro and Kie in place of Tanjiro and Nezuko

[qm-vox]

So You Want To Play Hades

I spent six hours coming up with that title because I have problems in my mind which I refuse to either examine or resolve.

So, Hades! The latest work from Supergiant Games, who brought you the interactive soundtracks to Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre, all superb games in their own rights known for their intuitive gameplay, build-your-own-hard-mode difficulty style, incredible atmosphere and characterization, thought-provoking stories, and that sexy, sexy fuckin’ music.

Like, listen to this sometime it’s amazing (all of their soundtracks are available from them on Youtube, by the by, though if you like ‘em you can support the creators by buying the music from them directly too):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH3Aoj1nw58

You’re likely asking, quite reasonably, why in the infinite and undying fuck I’m writing this post right now, and the long and short of it is I want more people to talk Hades with so now y’all are gonna get hit with the sales pitch and what I hope will be a helpful beginner’s guide if you decide to get into the game. Let’s get into that first part, shall we?

Thou Shalt Subject Your Gods To Market Forces

(Image sourced from Supergiant’s website)

Hades is an action-roguelike/lite that places you in the role of Prince Zagreus, secret son of Hades. Zag is trying to move out of his father’s house and live somewhere else for awhile and, well, Dad’s just being an entire dick about the whole thing. Hades challenges you to face down the endless ranks of the dead one chamber at a time, gathering the resources you need to breach upward through the Greek underworld and open the mighty gates into the living world. You can acquire it on Steam or on the Epic Store.

How do you know if Hades is or isn’t for you? If you like action games with tight controls and widely varied playstyles, we’ve got you covered here (if you’re thinking in terms of previous Supergiant offerings, Bastion has the most bones in). Hades also offers a great character-focused narrative, centering around the relationships Zagreus has and develops with the people around him - from legendary shades like Achilles and Sisyphus, to the gods of Olympus, to the cthonic gods of the underworld like Charon, Nyx, and the Furies - which fully incorporates the conceits of the genre. Unlike many roguelikes which sorta quietly elide failed runs or deaths, Zag’s defeats are part of his journey. After all, he’s already in the underworld. Where the fuck else is he going to go when he dies? Connecticut?

Though I can gush about the characters and narrative all day (and I’ll do it a bit more later), don’t get me wrong: Hades expects you to perform some pretty tight mechanics. Since dying is just the end of this run and not the game, the game feels pretty free to take brutal measures; the environments you move in are full of deadly traps, the seething ranks of the dead outnumber you to vast degrees, and you’ll fight a dizzying mix of opponents who do not hesitate to catch you in cross-fires, push you into lava, or drop bombs when you kill them because fuck you for succeeding you weird godling bastard. If you get easily frustrated or flustered, Hades may be quite stressful for you; before it’s anything else, it’s an action game with a heavy focus on combat, and if you decide to ride this train that’s the price of the ticket. If you relish the challenge and especially if you like the satisfaction of watching your play improve, though, it’s one hell of a ride.

In terms of accessibility features, Hades is a mixed bag. It has subtitles and aim assistance available, as well as a variety of supported languages and control adjustments which can alter how you do things like dash or attack, but it’s missing, for instance, a colorblind mode (and that’s gonna be important here in a minute), and many enemy behaviors & traps have audio cues which are not part of the current subtitle support. A rumble feature for controllers that have it is supported; Hades strongly suggests the use of a controller, but I know several players who choose to use a mouse & keyboard and seem to prefer it. Semi-recently, a God Mode option was added which empowers you when it’s turned on and does so further every time you die; it’s the closest Hades comes to an ‘easy’ mode, and while reception of it from my fellow players has been highly positive I’ve not tried it for myself.

If you’ve liked action games in the past, I’d highly endorse giving Hades a try as long as it’s accessible for you. The current build of the game (just before formal release) is selling at $24.99 USD on Steam right now, and like...I am not a highly skilled Gaming Individual(tm). I lose at games a lot. I play most of my games on Easy or maybe Normal if I’m really feeling like my dick is big - and with that in mind, I loved this one enough to buy it twice. I love the tight feeling of the combat, the way the mechanics feel, its gorgeous environments and its captivating characters. Hell, that’s why I’m out here writing a whole-ass article.

Stealth, Guile, Subtlety, And Other Things You Will Not Need - Getting Started In Hades

(Artwork sourced from the Hades wiki)

So you’ve decided to acquire Hades, you already own it, or the first part of this article was intriguing enough for you to look at the advice portion and see what sort of game you could be dealing with. Hades can be intimidating at first; it throws a lot of stuff at you, very quickly, and while it gives you some strong guidance on what to do with many of the resources you’ll acquire not all of those uses are immediately intuitive. The following is a guide to help your first few runs go a bit more smoothly and work on the fundamentals that will help you through your entire experience.

Let’s start with some General Tips that will help you out with every run and every weapon:

- Relax. No, seriously: relax. You haven’t ‘failed’ a run if you don’t beat the final boss. Hell, you probably haven’t even ‘failed’ a run if you die in Tartarus. If you learned something or got any permanent resource - gemstones, darkness, nectar, keys, blood, diamonds, ambrosia - then that run was a success. Even if the game wasn’t currently early access and thus without a proper ‘end’ at the moment, it’s supposed to be fun. Don’t castigate yourself for dying, just dive screaming back in and rip your vengeance from the spectral chest of your slayer.

- Always Be Moving. You only have so many hit points (you start a save file with a max of 50 and the most you can start a given run with is 200) and healing is limited over the course of a run. If you’re standing still, you’re getting hit. Zag’s quick on his feet - keep him moving and use your dash liberally. Once you’ve dealt some damage, leave and let your enemies swing at empty air, then dash back in and bully them back into their graves. When you start a dash you’re invulnerable until the dash finishes, which can make for some real cheeky dodges once you’ve had time to learn enemy timing.

- Watch And Learn. Early on in the game you’ll be learning about new enemies every chamber, especially when you start transferring to new zones and all of the enemies you’ve been facing just stop being a thing. Take the chance to know your foe! You’re not on a clock: don’t leap into the fight immediately. Dash around and watch how your enemies move and attack. What’s the limitations of their tactics? The reach on their attacks? How fast do they swing and move? If you’d like to watch some of that stuff ahead of time, I’d like to suggest amber_cxc’s Twitch channel: she’s been doing a lot of runs and speedruns of Hades of late, among the other games she plays.

- Manipulate Your Rewards. Certain things in Hades can only be offered a limited number of times per run, and once you’ve hit your quota they stop appearing. You can take advantage of this to get more Boons, Centaur Hearts, and Poms of Power. Specifically, you can only have up to two Daedelus Hammers and up to three Hermes Boons. If you can knock these out early I highly endorse doing so; they’re never bad to have, and even if somehow you want none of what they have to offer getting them off the RNG will help you later. Additionally, you can use Keepsakes (more on these in a minute) to manipulate who you get Boons from, when, by changing in and out of them at each biome. In this way you can control the shape of your build for the run.

- Accept That Your Dick Energy Is Fucking Huge. A lot of games try to keep you humble. Dark Souls is infamous for it, of course, and others in this genre such as Crypt of the Necrodancer and Enter the Gungeon do not reward haste at all. That is not this game. Walk into Hades like you’re the lord god of the Big Dick Dimension even if you know you’re not; take risks and learn from experience how you can mitigate, manipulate, or cancel out those risks. That unearned confidence won’t just help you with tip one (Relax), it’ll help you practice in those high-pressure situations which will occur more and more as your Heat rises.

- A Brief Note On Projectiles. This game has a few kinds of projectiles that you’ll need to learn to identify. Balls and Arrows can be broken - hit them with an Attack and they pop and won’t hurt you. Waves cannot be broken; they travel fast along the ground and have to be dodged or deflected. Lasers can neither be broken nor deflected. Traps can’t be broken, and deflecting them doesn’t always make them safe for you; these include the lava balls in Asphodel, Inferno Bombs, and the shit spit out by Bothers and Pests. Know your foe and always be moving.

In terms of the resources you’re offered, there are broadly two kinds: in-run resources, and out-of-run resources. Let’s talk briefly about in-run ones.

- Boons: Boons are the powerful gifts of your Olympian relatives. They change how you play during your run by augmenting your abilities (like your Attack, Special, or Dash) or by offering passive benefits. In general, look at Aphrodite, Athena, or Dionysus if you want powerful defenses, Ares, Artemis, or Zeus for powerful attacks, and Poseidon and Demeter for a combination of damage and utility. Different gods will be good with different weapons, and we’ll get into that later. Boons have a Rarity and a Level; Rarity determines their starting power and how well they scale if they do scale, and Level is that scaling.

- Centaur Hearts: +25 max and current HP for this run. Do you like not dying?

- Poms of Power: Poms increase the Level of a Boon by 1, which generally makes it better at doing whatever it does. Not all Boons will level up, but the ones that you can attach to your Attack, Special, Cast, Dash, or Call always do. You do eventually hit diminishing returns with these, so you’ll generally want to spread the love around if you keep picking up Poms.

- Obols: DOLLAH DOLLAH BILLS Y’ALL. Obols are the coins preferred by Charon, the Ferryman, who will take them from you for goods and services. Obols can be turned into all other resources - even out-of-run resources. They’re almost always a great choice of investment.

These in-run resources are presented as potential rewards when you’re selecting chambers. I tend to run heavy on Boons and Obols myself, but your own play style is likely to differ! Experiment with the feel of acquiring various rewards and see what you like to invest in. After all, they’re only for the run you’re on; you literally can’t take it with you.

Out-of-run resources are used to permanently advance Zagreus’s power, his relationships, or both. They are as follows:

- Cthonic Keys: Used to unlock new weapons and new parts of the Mirror of Night. Once your weapons and Mirror are wholly unlocked these keys stop being useful more or less instantly, and can be safely traded at the Wretched Broker between runs to acquire Nectar (but see Gemstones, below).

- Gemstones: Early in the game, Gemstones can be traded in at the House Contractor between runs in order to enhance the underworld; in particular, they can be used to install fountain rooms, to open up access to Chaos and Erebus, to give you access to Infernal Troves (and upgrade said troves), and to add in-run resources to Keys, Nectar, and Gemstones. These services are in the first tab of the House Contractor and you should buy them out as soon as possible so that your runs can springboard off of these powerful additions. Once that’s taken care of, Gemstones can be used to renovate the House of Hades, including Zag’s bedroom and the lounge, again at the House Contractor.

- Nectar: The nectar of the gods is in short supply in the underworld, and is a treasured gift that Zagreus can offer to his friends. In most cases, the first time you give a character Nectar they will trade you a powerful Keepsake in return; these are run-altering tools you select at the start of each run and change how you play. Early on, spread the love, but once you’re full up on Keepsakes you can feel free to develop relationships through gift-giving however you see fit.

- Darkness: The power of Night is used to give permanent, powerful passive benefits to Zagreus via the Mirror of Night in his bedroom. I would suggest using Darkness to get your extra Dash and extra hit points before anything else, but once you’ve got those tools kinda fuck around and find out. Eventually a dialogue option with Nyx will unlock the flip side of the Mirror’s talents, which must be developed separately and cost even more Darkness; you’ll want lots of this and you’ll want it for a very long time. Oh, and try to save aside 8,888 Darkness for a rainy day. You’ll need it.

- Titan Blood: Offered by the first and last bosses at each level of Heat (more on Heat later). Titan Blood is used to upgrade your weapons, making them better at doing all of the things they do, as well as to unlock Aspects of those weapons. We’re still shy one Aspect as of the latest patch, so ah, don’t stop collecting this. You’ll always have a use for it.

- Diamonds: Offered by the second boss at each level of Heat. Diamonds are used to buy plot-relevant renovations to the House of Hades, to advance certain relationships, and to acquire the fishing minigame and in-game access to the soundtrack within the House. Like Blood, you’ll have a use for these for a long, long time.

- Ambrosia: Offered by the third boss at each level of Heat. When you reach the point at which you can no longer offer people Nectar, genuine Ambrosia from Olympus becomes the princely gesture by which you can show your gratitude. You may be tempted to trade this for Blood early on. Don’t.

When you’re starting out, Darkness and Gemstones will be the gods of your new world, followed closely by Cthonic Keys You’ll run out of immediate need for Gemstones faster than you will for Darkness, but by that time you’ll either be comfortable with Hades or you’ll have determined it’s not for you. Focus on unlocking access to your new weapons, upgrading the underworld itself, and paying off your talents; at this stage, escaping the underworld isn’t really a priority so much as setting up for your eventual triumph is.

And When You Can No Longer Lay Waste - Infernal Arms And Heat

(Artwork sourced from the Hades Wiki)

The assault rifle with under-slung mortar launcher is definitely my favorite ancient Greek weapon.

So I’ve mentioned unlocking weapons, and I’ve mentioned that Hades offers varied play styles, so I suppose I ought to talk about them. Zagreus’s weapons - his Infernal Arms - form the first layer of your play style choices, which will be augmented by your in-run choices, and the second layer comes in the form of the Pact of Punishment and its Heat. Each weapon has differing values for its attacks and behaves very differently. I’m not gonna give you the specific numbers here - we have a wiki for that - and will instead make some general statements on how they play and what might pair well with them.

- Stygius, the Blade of the Underworld: You start each save file with this bad boy. Stygius is a generalist weapon that leans somewhat towards speed; its Attack is a three-hit combo that ends in a Thrust with knockback, while its Dash Attack (note: these are not the same with ANY weapon) is solely the Thrust, still with knockback. Its Special, slower than the Attack, is a high-damage shockwave that breaks enemy projectiles and knocks them back. You might be asking yourself, Vox, why would I Special when it makes people leave sword range, at which point I will direct you back to Always Be Moving; your Special makes your enemies Go Away, which saves you hit points. Stygius can build into almost anything, though its Attack benefits the least from Zeus and Poseidon, and is notable for having the most wild fucking Hammer options. Some of them do little things like make your Special bigger, but then you get stuff like Hoarding Slash (deal extra damage equal to 5% of your Obols), World Splitter (you do one big swing with a base damage of 80) and motherfucking CURSED SLASH, which is where Stygius rips a line of cocaine off of a mirror, cuts your health by 60%, and then heals you for 2 every time you hit something. My advice for this is whatever you start down, commit. Stygius might build into anything, but it can’t build into everything: once you choose a boon path, pick things to compliment that and go fucking ham.

- Varatha, the Eternal Spear: The forgotten child of Hades’ weapons, Varatha is a versatile weapon that, like Stygius, does a bit of everything - and unlike Stygius, does it all at the same time. Varatha’s base attack is a series of three long-range thrusts with low damage, and its Special throws the spear in a straight line, at which point it hovers in the air until you Special again; it follows a straight line from its position to your current one, damaging anything in that line. Last, but not least, you can perform a powerful Spin Attack by holding down the Attack button and charging up. Spin is one of the strongest single hits in the game, but you do have to stop moving to charge it up. However, you can dash out of the charge - even better, dashing releases the Spin at the end of your dash. This means that once you learn the timings of your charges, you can use Spin to attack and dodge at the same time, in a wide circle around yourself. Unlike Stygius, Varatha benefits to an extent from splitting your build up; its Attack wants big hitters like Aphrodite, Artemis, or Poseidon, whose high multipliers pair amazingly with the spin, while its Special can mount debuffs or stranger forms of damage like those offered by Dionysus and Ares. If you start building into one thing, but then Hammer into an alternate focus, the end result is still going to be pretty cohesive. Like Generic Goodstuff, or want a weapon to use while building up many divine relationships? Varatha does it all.

- Aegis, the Shield of Chaos: Just because this thing has the only block function in the game doesn’t mean it’s a defensive weapon. Aegis is a fast-moving melee weapon whose hits cause native knockback, slamming foes into walls, up against cliffs, and through traps & magma. Since Aegis throws people around it’s great for a highly aggressive style; dash in, hit them, and watch them slide away before they can do damage back to you. Its Special throws the shield Captain America style, where it ricochets off of opponents and obstacles before eventually returning. Use this with care; you can’t attack or block while your Special is out. Holding down the Attack button begins to charge a Bull Rush; while you’re charging, you’re immune to damage in the direction the shield is facing, and then when you release you dash to the end of the indicated line, damaging anything you hit. Despite how sexy that sounds, Bull Rush is honestly kinda slow and can be hard to build for specifically; instead, Bull Rush is best used to get out of bad situations, or to outlast big long boss combos, especially those used by the first and second bosses who are known to spit out absolute STREAMS of projectiles. Aegis hits fast and gets lots of bonus damage against normal enemies by bullying them against walls for that sweet, sweet Wall Slam damage, but it craves big damage multipliers less than some other weapons; consider using Zeus, Dionysus, or Demeter for your Attack, saving big damage choices for if you can get a Dash Attack build going. Special is great for mounting utility like Aphrodite or Poseidon that let you control the engagement further, just remember to think before you hit the yeet button.

- Coronacht, the Heart-Seeking Bow: Meet your first ranged weapon! Coronacht deals damage in a straight line by charging up a shot; when your line flashes, release the shot for a Power Shot that deals extra damage. Its Special is...bad, I’m gonna be real; it’s a wide-sweeping volley of arrows that deal individually low damage and will rarely, if ever, hit the same target. Still, it has its uses. Coronacht benefits from either high damage or battlefield control on its Attack; look into Artemis, Aphrodite, Demeter, and Poseidon. Its Special is harder to build for, but Ares and Zeus both do well on it since they can cause damage out of proportion with the range and/or area of your volley. Play keep-away and use distance to get off those charge shots, and remember that you can break projectiles and hit multiple enemies with each attack. Avoid mounting odd damage (Ares or Dionysus) or utility (Athena) on your Attack; it’s not going to come out fast enough to take meaningful advantage of those tools.

- Malphon, the Twin Fists: Easily the angriest weapon in all of Hades, Malphon is a pair of massive fuck-off gauntlets that are used for fast-moving combos at extremely short range. It is unique in that its Attack has a Dash Attack, and its Special - a massive uppercut - has a dash upper, letting you sweep in and deal big damage in a tight area immediately. Though each of Malphon’s hits are individually small, it throws out so fucking many of them that you can put almost anything on your Attack and it’ll work out. Athena Attack? Why not, you’ll be swinging when the enemy is. Dionysus Attack? Poison stacking has never been easier! Artemis Attack? Sure, you don’t do a lot of base damage, but you swing so often that you’ll crit constantly and take advantage of passives like Support Fire. Your Special has much higher base damage and can easily become the focus of your build, and because it moves slower it wants bigger damage multipliers like Artemis or Aphrodite if it’s your focus. If it’s not your focus, consider Poseidon in its slot (to get enemies to Go Away) or a god that will combo with your Attack (for instance, if you’re doing Demeter Attack, consider Zeus Special so you can potentially pick up the Cold Fusion boon and get 10 seconds of free damage every time you tap the Special button). You pay a price for this ease of use: Malphon’s range is directly inside the enemy’s ass, which means you need to have razor-thin timing to dash out of the way of attacks and keep your combos going, especially if you get swarmed. Since Malphon can mount and build literally fucking anything, it’s the ideal weapon to use if you want to power-level Keepsakes; slap something on at the start of a run and then just never take it off. Sure, you’re letting the Three Fates decide your build, but fuck it, it all just works!

- The Adamant Rail: What if you invaded the underworld with a fucking machine gun. The Adamant Rail has an ammo counter; each Attack takes 1 bullet (and Dash Attack takes and fires 2), and you reload by pressing the right-hand stick in. Its Special is a slow-moving mortar that hits in a wide area. The Rail is a powerful and versatile weapon capable of engaging at great range, which tends to build either Attack or Special. If you’re building Special, look for big hits like Aphrodite, Artemis, or even Poseidon, and any Special upgrade at all from the Hammers. Attack usually wants utility or stacks - stuff like Poseidon, Demeter, Dionysus, or Zeus - but certain Hammer upgrades like Spread Shot might make it more worthwhile to invest in big hits for it if you get them early. However! Just because you’ve decided on a focus doesn’t mean you should neglect the other half of your weapon. For instance, an Attack-focused build might still entertain the Targeting System upgrade so that you can more easily land your hits and avoid the enemy, while a Special-focused one benefits from mounting debuffs like Weak or Chill on its Attack.

For any weapon, once you settle into a play style you enjoy, find ways to be rewarded for what you’re already going to do. If you enjoy, say, the Chiron Aspect for the bow which makes it into a Special-focused weapon, mount benefits like Doom or Weak on its Attack since you still have to use that to make your shit go-go. This applies more broadly too; if you’re saving up Gemstones for something, for instance, use the extra money you get during your run to visit the shops earlier and more often. Let Hades reward you for doing the things you already want to do.

To close this guide out I’m going to briefly touch on Heat, which is how Supergiant Games has manifested their signature build-your-own-hard-mode approach. After you clear the game with any weapon for the first time, you acquire access to the Pact of Punishment. This Pact lets you turn on hostile modifiers to your run, which each have a Heat value; once you clear the game with a weapon at any given level of Heat (0, 1, 2, etc) you can only get Titan’s Blood, Diamonds, and Ambrosia with that weapon by advancing to the next level of Heat. In this way the game gradually gets harder on a weapon-by-weapon basis.

So, what modifiers to turn on? Depends on what you’re good at and bad at, but I would highly, highly suggest that you get used to Extreme Measures, Middle Management, and Benefits Package as soon as possible. Not only are they sources of big Heat by themselves that don’t change too much of the run by themselves, but their primary difficulty is knowledge-based; once you know them, they’re practically free real estate. Since Heat is tracked per-weapon and not in total, you can also always go back to weapons you’re not as good with and use practice with them as an excuse to get more permanent resources that you can pour into the ones you prefer.

Obviously this guide is not comprehensive! I’ve left out a lot of things you might want to know, like boss patterns, enemy types, and a whole lot of stuff about characters. Some of these things I’ve not talked about because I don’t want to give spoilers; others I haven’t talked about because I’m, again, actually pretty bad at games and the Hades community has talented folks whose guides on Steam, on the Reddit, and on the wiki can provide you with thorough breakdowns of the math that makes the game work. Still, it’s my hope that this can ease your entry into the world of Hades and help guide you in those early runs when it can feel like you’re spinning your wheels. I look forward to hearing from you; reblogs and commentary are welcome!

See you all in Hell.

[nyrator]

Mind’s a bit better than previous nights, but just feel like rambling again before bed- Just random thoughts stirring in my head with no one to say them to, I suppose

I think a lot about current events and the tragedies they’ve been creating- and also how twitter is such a terrible platform for my mental health. I don’t really have any power to do anything about it, nor the willpower to avoid it, but it just has me thinking and wishing people were different.

Of course, things I can’t reasonably say to anyone about my thoughts, which is a bit sad to me. All I can do is hope people hate each other less, that’s the only thing that really matters to me.

Been thinking of my sister randomly, what a crazy time that point in my life was. How insane and unpredictable she’d be on heroin and fentanyl, how many times she attacked me and could have murdered me. From nearly blinding me in high school by clawing my face, to trying to stab me with a used syringe when she was filled with all kinds of hepatitis and who knows what else. She’s been gone for six months, and it’s amazing how easy it is to loosen my shoulders and breathe without that paranoia lingering over me that she could murder me at any moment, without all the lies and rumors she’d spread about me to friends and neighbors to spite me, without having to have everything secured beyond locks and locks for fear of it being stolen and sold for drugs, or people breaking into the house looking to get revenge on her.

Yet now I still suffer from anxiety, for other reasons now. But that burden has passed, at least. Lately it’s been feeling like my body has been weakening from anxiety- like it’s trying to fuel itself, but has no energy to. Feels kind of like my blood is just shivering in my veins, vibrating and trying to muster up energy to curl me into an anxious mess, but it’s basically run dry.

I just need to keep it at this level- in the position I’m in now, which is too hard to talk about, I can’t afford to let it boil to a full anxious level. It’s still very uncomfortable, anxiety that’s running on empty, but I just need to endure it. I don’t have any other option for now, and probably not for a long while, unfortunately.

Hoping this virus goes away soon. At the very least, that things are loosened up soon. Going back to work sounds nice. Being able to get my Kuja figure would be really nice. And the border being open would be fantastic- I really wish it were open while work was still closed, so I could just hang out in Canada for six months. It sounds really nice to be with Kresna right now. I don’t think I blog enough about how much he means to me, but he really is my better half.

Also, if people have immigration advice in general, that’d be really appreciated, honestly. We’re in a particularly interesting situation, but hopefully things can figure themselves out some way or another.

On a random note, I really want to try to start reading books again. I wonder if I’m better off just reading them digitally- I’m a purist for the physical format, but I’m too glued to the computer to take the time to read them. Doesn’t help that I have that kind of addictive personality- if I start reading a book, it’s hard to stop. And then afterwards I usually have days of a sore neck and eyes and don’t want to endure it again.

But I have some Murakami books lying around that I still need to read, and I recently got No Longer Human after getting a few recommendations for it. I really want to give that a read. But man, reading is a hard commitment.

Ended up killing time while doing laundry watching some random cartoon I’ve only heard about in passing, and only vary briefly, but somehow decided to just start watching it, and it’s honestly pretty good. Something called Cybersix, watched four episodes tonight.

Also been thinking about video games- I like the idea of them, but I really can’t think of any I’d like to play- especially in a multiplayer sense, since I’m looking for things to play with friends. Nothing really speaks to me or comes to mind- Fortune Street though, what a great game. Same with GX and EDF, honestly. And most games I’m decent at, but never feel the drive to get really good at them, I guess. Cave Story’s one I think of- I enjoy it, but I’ve only beaten Ballos once, and never again. Meanwhile, I have friends who speedrun that Sacred Grounds section, and I don’t think I could ever commit myself to getting that good at something.

Kresna shines in this regard, though- In games we play, he’s the perfect partner for me. He’s highly competent and highly skilled, and he won’t hold back- we can be cutthroat with each other. Say the Switch Mario Party, and how he can just stare someone dead in the eyes as he refuses to high five them after a minigame, solely to not give them an advantage- he gets me. Of course, cutthroat things like that are hard to find a third or fourth player who also enjoys it, but Kresna knows how to pull it off while still having a great time and good bants- without being mean or superior about it, just by making beautiful power plays and having a good time. We’ve been playing MKWii together recently, and he destroys me, but even then it’s great- His item placement is remarkably dirty, and he’s such a good guy to bant with, but it’s one of those games I can’t imagine becoming a challenge to him, which I guess is what prompted this conversation. This is a gush-over-Kresna post, but I realize I don’t really do it often and I don’t state enough publicly how good he is.

But yeah just need to find more games where the games are fun and the playing field is good for other people as well

Got one of my last four art fights started, but I’m scared that I won’t be able to finish them all in time. Latest one basically just needs some coloring, but ended up losing interest in it tonight. I feel I might be able to do commissions confidently now, but drawing things for other people just feels like a chore, honestly. Still need to draw my local friends some characters too like I promised ages ago.

I feel that insatiable urge to talk about Rotten Nyan still, and yet still scared to work on the comic. Or maybe just intimated, I don’t know. I really just want to share it with people, I guess. And Middle Lave I’m especially obsessed with, I just don’t know why. Just want to draw them like I see artists on pixiv draw their characters, y’know? Have an ask blog, a vtuber, something where people can interact with the character and not just me, I think. I worry about people being afraid to get near that character given the connection to me, to treat it like any normal character distanced from me, but it is what it is

I really do wish I had the ambition to work and finish my projects, though. Wish there were better circumstances to inspire me, or something, y’know?

I should stop rambling into space and go to bed, though

[cynthiaandsamus]

Game Blondes Crystal Clear Nuzlocke Part 3: A Gooey Situation!

“Hey I’m blonde!”

“…I’m also blonde.”

“AND WE’RE THE GAME BLONDES!!”

“Welcome back to Game Blondes! Last time we got a shiny Eevee, and two, count ‘em TWO badges out of sixteen, though the game’s gonna start scaling up the more badges we get so we gotta be careful not to lose any more pokemon…”

“Don’t worry I’ll be fine, I’ve only lost a rat so far, now that I have something to work with I’ll be able to do stuff a lot easier.” Samus grinned confidently. “Went back to the Professor and got a Togepi (named Sunnyside) which immediately goes in the box, no way am I risking taking a literal newborn on this death journey.”

“Probably a wise choice… don’t want to tempt fate.”

“Well now that I have two badges I guess that qualifies me to operate a squirtbottle… you’re world is weird Cynthia.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well now I’ve annoyed some living trees and gotten Cut from the dude. Guess it’s up the Sprout Tower now, not sure if it’s at all necessary but couldn’t hurt to get up there and see what’s going on.” Samus shrugged. “Oh… apparently they just give you the HM now as soon as you enter if you have the badges… Well is there anything at the top or not!?”

-One Encounter Later-

“YEAH FUCK THAT! It doesn’t count if I reset before anything faints! Nopenopenope I’m out!”

“I don’t think anyone can blame you, the run would just be over now if you didn’t.” Cynthia chuckled.

“…we may or may not come back to that later but more than double my level is not great, should’ve guessed when there was a “are you sure you’re up for the challenge?’ guard at the bottom of the tower… Still I wonder if there’s something good up there to make it worth it…”

“That’s a challenge for another day.” The Champion smiled.

“Well I don’t wanna just go through the game like normal… Even if I can do the badges in any order I still need to walk all the way there, so I don’t wanna just skip through gyms when they’re right there…”

“Why not go fuck around in Kanto for a bit? The train drops you off in Saffron so you can get to most of the region from there and pick badges at random.”

“Good idea! To fuckery!” Samus cheered. “Alright, in Saffron now, whole different country to fuck up with my sequence breaking nonsense.”

“Now that I think about it, it’s probably ironic that a Metroid protagonist is playing the pokemon game where you can sequence break…”

“SPEEDRUNING BABY! FUCK THE INTENDED ORDER!” Samus hummed. “Well most of the houses here are closed but I did get the Psychic TM, gonna teach that to Polly so my starter has a little more firepower.”

“Wonder if Silph Co. is another unstoppable hell gauntlet.“

“They don’t even let me go up… but I got a free Up-Grade for Polly! Okay, next badge I’ll go back to that kid in Goldenrod and evolve her. Might as well go kick Sabrina’s ass while I’m here…”

“HA! The guard in the normal games tells you the Up-Grade can’t be bought anywhere else. But since you can buy it in the department stores here, they added dialogue so he gets upset about not being told it was already in department stores, that’s cute.”

“Good lore for the changes I guess.” Samus snickered.”There’s two gyms but one’s empty, so guess the other’s Sabrina’s.  Well Danny’s in charge here, wiping out these Psychics with a Ghost-type should be easy. See? That Channeler went down easy!”

“…and Danny’s dead.”

RIP Danny the Gastly  Route 31-Saffron City, Lv. 5-Lv. 13

“Eh… I was NOT expecting that guy to have a level 18 Kadabra and I kinda forgot Gastly was a Poison type in addition to a Ghost type… well there goes my whole plan for this gym…”

“You’ll make it through, see? You’re already at Sabrina.”

“Yeah but I feel like she’s gonna be a higher level, I mean one of her minions killed one of my pokemon and I’m down a main teammate and my main strategy, think I’m gonna grind a bit and fill that empty slot before I come back, not taking any chances…”

“Better safe than sorry I guess… even if it is a bit cheap.” Cynthia sighed.

“Let me go back and bury my dead ghost and go out into one of these fields and catch me a new dude. Which way should I go? I can go pretty much anywhere from Saffron… any of the cardinal directions anyway.”

“Well you know what they say, Go West, Young Meowth.”

“…who says that?” Samus grumbled. “West it is then. ..and immediately who the hell is this guy?”

“Oh shit he has a Porygon too! Time for a Mirror Match!”

“Awww yeah, there’s no beating Polly!”

“Oh wow he has a Shiny Togepi too. I mean it’s still an egg baby but it’s a sparkly egg baby.”

“That was surprisingly tough for an egg baby, must be hard-boiled. Still at least it’s not another casualty and he gave me a bunch of money and five level balls. So that’s nice of him, speaking of which this is a new area so I can catch a new pokemon~!”

“Oooh an Abra, good luck with that!”

“Trying out one of those new Level Balls then, here goes nothing!”

“Heck yeah! Since it’s a Psychic that just wants to be left along I’ll name it Mob. Looks like it’s close to evolving too so I may use it for a bit.”

“Well might as well have a look around Celadon while we’re nearby. Erika might be a better fit for your next gym battle since you have a flying type and a few psychic moves that’ll do well against her grass and poison types.”

“Yeah… wait… the game corner here sells the Berserk Gene!? What the hell!?”

“Yeah that’s… strange…” Cynthia quirked a brow. “Rather cheap too…”

“I mean I guess it’s not super useful but still… Weird placement. Those Leftovers might be good to save up for too, but that would require more gambling… Oooh! Heracross!”

“Can I get it? Please Please!?”

“Well I guess Celadon City is a new area, so if it’s the first pokemon you encounter you can get it, sure… but just this once…”

“Whoohoo! Time for a gambling montage!”

-80’s Music-

This is a gambling montage~

Samus is gambling all her money away~

We’re not allowed to show this part in Europe~

She’s Gonna get that Heracross~

This is a gambling montage~

-montage end-

“Well since it’s blue and armored I’ll name her Gravity like my suit, looks like she’ll need a bit of grinding but should be fun to use~”

“Well a couple of training battles in Erika’s gym later and Gravity has a few levels and Hooters evolved into a Noctowl.”

“These levels on these gyms are starting to get high though, I may have to do some grinding… hopefully I’ll be able to beat Erika at least… Still, a little training won’t hurt. This guy says he’ll give me Fly if I can get one more badge, so that’ll really open things up, all the more incentive to grind up for Erika.

“…well fuk it’s a Muk. And it’s like ten levels higher than anything I have.”

“Still, Muk are mostly defensive pokemon and you just have to weaken it, give it a shot.”

“Holy crap I caught it… wasn’t expecting that, guess I have a new teammate… I’ll name it Goo since that’s what it is. Doubt it’ll help much with Erika or Sabrina, but it’s always good to have a big tanky pokemon like that, I’ll think about adding him to the team somewhere…”

“And this is why we carry Antidotes… you were almost in trouble there.”

“Meh I’ll be fine, guess I’ll switch out Shimon the Poliwag for Goo the Muk since he’s my lowest level besides the new Heracross, we’ll see if this pile of sludge comes in handy soon.”

“Holy crap look how weird it looks when Goo follows me.” Samus laughed.

-One Grind Later-

“Okay a little bit of grind and Gravity is up to level with the others and all of Erika’s support trainers are gone, I’ve got Goo and got him an Ice Punch TM, I’ve got a Noctowl, got Polly knowing Psychic and got Gravity being a Bug type, and just in case I’m buying a couple Antidotes so I think we have a decent shot at this battle, here we go!”

“If worse comes to worse you could probably just lean on your overpowered Muk now that it has a move that’s great against Grass types…”

“Well I’m gonna try not to do that if I can help it, let’s start out with Noctowl vs her Tangela! Ha! Even if it puts Hooters to sleep, that Giga Drain does next to nothing against her! That was an easy first KO. Way to pull your weight Hooters! “

“Oooh Bellsprout next huh?”

“That’s part poison right? I’ll try Polly next then and hit it with some Psychic! HA! A one hit KO! Don’t mess with Polly!”

“Another OHKO from Hooters on that Hopip… you’re really tearing through this boss battle. Though to be fair grass-types have a lot of weaknesses to exploit and usually have to use status ailments to keep up.”

“Last pokemon’s Oddish, let’s go Hooters, make this a clean sweep! Well it managed to take two hits but it’s still no match for my awesome owl thing! Great job Hooters!”

“That’s awesome, three badges down, but you realize Sabrina will be even stronger now that you have more badges, right?”

“Crap… Well the Pokemon League called again and basically just told me to go get Fly, since I’m right here I can do that pretty easily, guess we’re set up for that. I can teach it to Hooters as a reward for winning that gym battle.”

“…wow so you can just fly to any city now huh? You don’t have to have visited any of them, guess you can hop around as much as you want now.”

“True, though I’ll probably be in trouble if I just go directly for the badges each time, the walking will help me get more levels too but if I wanna go somewhere I can just drop myself off and see what’s up around there. I can continue that sidequest with Professor Oak at some point too since I can just fly to Pallet Town and see what’s going on, and I feel like I can safely evolve Polly too, which I may do… NEXT TIME ON GAME BLONDES!”

Samus’s Journey So Far (Kanto Side):

Samus’s Current Team:

[recentanimenews]

Resident Evil 2 Remake Will Have you Seeing S.T.A.R.S.!

I’m supposed to gather some electric parts to turn on the mechanism that opens cell doors in the underground jail cell. I found one after dodging vicious zombie dogs, and now I’ve found myself climbing back into the very police station I was trying to escape less than an hour ago. I know where I need to go--by now the police station is somewhat safe, and I know the best routes to get to where I need to go… until I find myself needing to extinguish a fire. "No problem," I say, and go about doing so with some easy exploring. Things are going well. I’ve got good health, ammo, and then… Mr. X happens. Suddenly, everything I thought I knew had changed.

All the skills I remembered from playing Resident Evil 2 20 years ago vanish, as the huge Tyrant hounds my every movement. Open a door too fast? Footsteps. Shoot my gun? Louder footsteps. Suddenly… a door opens that I didn’t open. I panic, and run. "If I can just get to the save room, I’m fine…" And then I hear it. A Licker. I ran too fast and too loudly, and with only a second to spare I dodge into the S.T.A.R.S. office, safe for now, and pause the game. My breathing is ragged and I put the controller down for a moment. I’m terrified, excited, and above all, happy. This is the best feeling in the world!

Resident Evil was always my favorite horror franchise, and Resident Evil 2 was the game I spent the most time with when I was younger. I played it more than I played any other game in the series until the co-op fest of Resident Evil 5 with my partner. The zapping system of Resident Evil 2 entranced me; the idea that a game had multiple storylines that interacted with each other, and that the game itself changed when you played it again blew my mind. The campy charm of the weird puzzles, esoteric nonsense, and scary but cool monsters made it all a blast. And then Mr. X showed up in scenario B, and I lost my little mind! I couldn’t believe a game could have a monster chase me, know where I was going, and make me feel unsafe in areas I thought I cleared. Fast forward to 20 years later, and I found myself doing the exact same things I did when I was a kid, totally amazed by the experience I was having, and watching as nostalgia mixed with the new experiences introduced in this remake to create something truly special.

There’s no real way to beat around the bush: the Resident Evil 2 remake is an amazing game! If that’s what you wanted to know, you can stop reading now and go buy a copy of it right this instant. It might even be my Game of the Year, and the year just started, and yes, I know that Kingdom Hearts III just came out. But the Resident Evil 2 remake has an addictive and entrancing combination of things going right for it that make the game not only thrilling to play, but a game you constantly want to get back to playing. To play again and see if you can get a better score than you did, how much ammo you could have saved, what route you might have tried to avoid Mr. X better the next time (For the record, my Leon playthrough resulted in a 7.5 hour B rank, and I’m already gunning for that A!). If you have played Resident Evil before, you’ll likely find a lot to love in this game, and if this is your first introduction to the series (or maybe second following last year’s also stellar Resident Evil 7), you’re in for a real treat. And there’s an odd magic to this remake; if you never played Resident Evil 2, it’s still an amazing game, and if you were a fan of the original, the Resident Evil 2 remake might transcend to be an almost perfect game. The graphics are amazing, and the combination of sound, lighting, and effects make the game feel tense and scary even in well-lit areas, and downright terrifying in dark ones. Each area of the game (there are 3 major ones) have a distinct feel and sense to them, making them unique and exciting to explore.

But much of that, frankly, you probably already knew. The game looks amazing and borrows heavily from the new engine used in Resident Evil 7, changing from the first person perspective of that game to the somewhat more traditional over the shoulder camera from Resident Evil 4 through 6. The controls are fluid, particularly when compared to the older “Tank Control” style of the original, but at times I found the game still had a weird inorganic movement to it that made avoiding enemies still pretty challenging in tight areas, as if the remake combined the two control schemes of Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 4. This isn’t really a complaint, and if anything the Resident Evil 2 remake feels like the best version of Resident Evil controls since 5 (omitting 7 here since 7’s first-person view really changed the game experience). In terms of how the game feels, looks, and plays, there’s very little to complain about with this remake; it just works.

Perhaps the biggest discussion to bring up in terms of gameplay, however, is difficulty. I found myself caught off guard by the difficulty of the Resident Evil 2 remake even as someone who had played all of the previous titles, and even done runs of earlier titles at harder difficulty. Generally, I play the game on normal first, then go back and test myself with harder difficulty, or use easy difficulty to attempt a speedrun or pick up missed collectibles. In this remake, my first zombie encounter left me totally stunned and, honestly, panicking. I had shot him in the head 4 times… and he got back up! I found myself running low on ammo constantly early on because I kept trying to kill my enemies, angry at times that the monsters I had so easily killed when I was younger were now giving me trouble. And then I encountered my first Licker, and things changed.

This game is not about fighting. It is quite literally about surviving, which means making the decision of when to fight, when to run, and when to plan your next move. Normal difficulty will provide you with this question just as readily as hardcore will, and players should be prepared for that difficulty swing if they’re used to Resident Evil 4 style Super Secret Agent Leon, popping off Ganado heads and doing sick melee takedowns. You aren’t that Leon (or Code Veronica Claire) in this Resident Evil 2, you’re a person trapped in a hellscape with no way out and limited supplies. It was a funny thing to realize, because the term “survival horror” has rarely focused on the actual “survival” part, with more and more modern games focusing on early weakness transforming into endgame destruction on a grand scale as your character finds better weapons and levelled up. The Resident Evil 2 remake turns that on its head, instead focusing on making you think about the best way to get from point A to point B with the least possible risk to yourself. A mistaken calculation can cost you time, ammo, and health, and there are even times when you’ll need to judge if it’s better to take damage to avoid using up precious ammo, and you’ll certainly need that ammo when you face the bosses that this game throws at you occasionally!

Each boss fight is exciting and challenging, and while you may feel frustrated at the amount of ammo used, the game seems somewhat fair in helping you replenish yourself afterwards, and doubly rewards you for good planning and smart use of resources and your environment. At times I felt early on that I might struggle with the game and run out of ammo, but when I finally finished Leon A, I found myself literally swimming in ammunition that I could probably never use all of. Judicious use of non-combat items matters as well, and while the game doesn’t have a strict upgrade path like later installments did, you can still find ways to make your weapons better, usually by hunting safe combinations and exploring hidden areas off the beaten path. To this end, the map in Resident Evil 2 is an amazing ally and one of the best new features in the game. When you enter a new area, the map will turn red if there are any items, files, or important interactables to locate. The closer you get to that item (or, if like me, you actually brushed up against it but didn’t notice the prompt), the map will tell you exactly what that item is for you to go back and grab. Seeing what rooms were red and what weren’t really gave me a sense of knowing that I had finished an area (for the moment, at least), and tracking my progress in an organic manner.

One of the charms of Resident Evil 2, and the Resident Evil series as a whole, are its puzzles. It would probably not be incorrect to say that the Resident Evil games are actually puzzle games that occasionally have you shooting giant mutated zombies and other things. If you wanted to abstract that even further, it’s honestly fair to say that the avoidance and risk-reward routing through areas of Resident Evil 2 is a puzzle itself. This is probably also why Resident Evil 2 is one of the strongest in the franchise with its somewhat ridiculous set piece puzzles spread out around the police department. Finding weird keys, turning dials on giant statues, finding gems to insert into boxes are all within the game's experience, and it does little to ever try and make any of that make sense. In the Resident Evil 2 remake, there are a few attempts with the narrative change that the police station used to be an art museum, but it still makes little to no sense, and is lovable for it more than frustrating or silly. The sewer system, with its chess piece keys, is even sillier, and all in all adds up to what makes Resident Evil 2 so fun: its charm. The game has a weird charm about it that makes the experience fun to work through, even when fighting off flesh-eating monsters. The puzzles add a thoughtful but not particularly difficult wrinkle to that mix, making you think every action out in advance, and putting you on somewhat constant quests to find the one weird item you’ll need to open a door so you can collect a medallion to… well, you get the picture! All of that supposed backtracking may sound tedious, but it isn’t, because every time you venture back into the areas you’ve explored, not only might you find new secret places to explore or connect to, but the threats have likely changed too.

There are a few odd quirks to the game, however. One of which involves the DLC add-on that allows you to play the game with the original Resident Evil 2 score and sound effects for things like menus and typewriters; once I heard about it from friends, I bought it myself during the review and was blown away by how much it changes the experience! While it may not matter as much initially if you’re new to Resident Evil 2, playing with the original score was the missing component for me in some ways of merging the two versions of the game. Hearing the classic police station music play when I entered the main lobby was an amazing thing, and it made me feel like I was 20 years in the past, playing the game for the first time. Even if this remake is your first rodeo with the game, I honestly suggest getting the DLC to really complete the package; the new score is fine by all means, but the original score was a real work of art that fit the game perfectly. The added benefit of the Resident Evil 2 sound effects being thrown in was a great bonus.

  My second issue with the game is voice acting. For whatever reason, Capcom decided not to use the union backed voice actors from past Resident Evil games; I’m not sure if development and recording for this game coincided with the SAG-AFTRA strike that took many voice actors out of games, but what I am sure of is that I think Capcom did the game a disservice by not working with the original actors to ensure the true feeling of Resident Evil 2 was preserved. The new voices of Leon, Claire, and the rest are fine, but they feel off or wrong in a way that you think you know what these characters might sound like, and they don’t. Some line readings are a little awkward (I’ve found this to be the case with Claire more than Leon), and while 20 years ago we might consider that campy charm, here it just sounds… odd. I don’t think there’ll ever be some way to fix this in DLC like with the music, and it makes me sad. I really enjoy the Resident Evil 2 remake, and don’t think I’d not play the game because of it, but I wish Capcom had waited or elected to pay the union actors and preserved the original personalities and intonations of the Resident Evil cast before release. As a few minor notes, if you get extremely anxious while playing horror games, or find games where monsters chase you constantly (like Alien: Isolation) hard to play, do know that Mr. X can be a bit of a handful (he’s really smart), but it doesn’t take up as much of the game as it seems. It can change the pacing and comfort level a bit, so be forewarned!

As we got our code right at release, I decided to take my time with the game and play through the storylines fully to see what the full game really had to offer. It may seem odd for a review, but here are a few tips that I learned while playing that I hope can help you out when you try out Resident Evil 2:

1) If you don’t think you’ll enter an area often or for a long time, aim for zombie’s legs rather than try to kill them if you can’t just dodge by them. It slows them down considerably and saves some ammo.

2) Blue herbs may seem worthless (there are like 2 enemies in the game that poison you) but can be combined with Red+Green herb mixtures to give poison healing but, more importantly, damage resistance! Great for boss fights!

3) Save frequently and cycle saves; I hunted a few trophies this way that I either missed initially, or would have needed to go back and do things I might not have done originally to get them.

4) Don’t worry about your ranking! That’s what replays are for! The game rewards multiple play through attempts through familiarity and speed.

5) Dogs suck. Run.

6) You get the ability to craft certain types of ammo. Always prioritize weapons that have scarce ammo but big impact on your play style or needs.

    If you are a Resident Evil fan, you probably stopped reading this review after the second paragraph; the game is just that good and you probably already bought it. If you’re new or on the fence, or never got to experience Resident Evil 2 the first time, you should absolutely consider making this game part of your library. There are a lot of great reasons to play through the game multiple times, and Capcom has promised some new DLC expansions to add on to the game over time as well. Even without them, the Resident Evil 2 remake is an absolute blast of amazing gameplay and experiences that you’ll find yourself going back to again and again, wondering if this time, just maybe, you can get that S rank. So buckle up, take your G-Virus shots, and get ready to tag along with Leon and Claire.

REVIEW ROUNDUP

+ Amazing atmosphere, graphics, sound direction, and controls make this probably the best Resident Evil yet

+ There is a lot to do across multiple routes and reasons to keep replaying the game

+ It’s Resident Evil 2!

+/- Difficulty might turn off some at first, but it is worth sticking through and learning from your mistakes

- While almost everything else is fantastic, the non-union voice actors used instead of the original cast is a real letdown

  Are you a member of S.T.A.R.S., returning for more? Or will this be your first encounter with Resident Evil? Let us know what you think of the game in the comments!

----

Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[internetdetectives]

11/13/19 - Chat with BUP

mfgreth 9:53 PM: "A glitch e day”

BUP 9:58 PM: "BUP”

BUP 9:58 PM: "Was i pinged”

Xenquility 9:59 PM: "Probably not”

BUP 9:59 PM: "Ok then”

BUP 9:59 PM: "Xenquility”

Xenquility 10:00 PM: "?”

BUP 10:01 PM: "Its a nice moon out”

BUP 10:01 PM: "What is your season?”

Xenquility 10:01 PM: "Winter?”

BUP 10:01 PM: "You were born in winter?”

Xenquility 10:01 PM: "Indeed”

BUP 10:01 PM: "Ah hah”

BUP 10:01 PM: "Interesting”

Xenquility 10:02 PM: "Why is that interesting?”

BUP 10:02 PM: "Depends on what you believe in I guess”

Xenquility 10:03 PM: "How so”

BUP 10:03 PM: "Just making small talk”

BUP 10:03 PM: "Ancient beliefs would dictate that your strongest positive aura is in winter”

BUP 10:03 PM: "and your strongest negative energy is in summer”

Wolfcat 10:05 PM: "whose this guy”

otherLiam 10:05 PM: "actually you were pinged”

otherLiam 10:05 PM: "i pinged you”

otherLiam 10:05 PM: "hi”

Xenquility 10:05 PM: "This guy took over babel”

Wolfcat 10:05 PM: "oh nvm”

otherLiam 10:05 PM: "I was asking about your game proposal.”

Wolfcat 10:06 PM: "sup bup”

Xenquility 10:06 PM: "Auras? Sounds like something a certain celestial body of fire was talking about”

BUP 10:06 PM: "Okay well I legit dont know what you mean”

BUP 10:06 PM: "Anyways if you care about that sort of thing it means you would gain most beneficially from acts of kindness in winter and acts of self interest in summer”

Xenquility 10:07 PM: "What season were you born in?”

BUP 10:07 PM: "Spring”

otherLiam 10:07 PM: "you wanted to do some kinda speedrun challenge or something, and if we won we get information. but w/e if it wasn't serious”

Xenquility 10:07 PM: "Spring?”

Xenquility 10:07 PM: "Ah. So acts of self interest in the fall”

BUP 10:08 PM: "Oh the right the game”

BUP 10:08 PM: "If you can even manage to pull it together.”

BUP 10:08 PM: "I wasnt TOO worried about that”

BUP 10:08 PM: "I thought it would be fun :wink:”

otherLiam 10:09 PM: "I mean, we like knowing shit.”

otherLiam 10:09 PM: "We know so little shit.”

BUP 10:10 PM: "You know a lot of shit”

BUP 10:10 PM: "But not all the shit”

otherLiam 10:10 PM: "We know enough to get ourselves in trouble, I guess.”

BUP 10:10 PM: "I know all the shit”

otherLiam 10:11 PM: "And the way to know your shit is to... speedrun Breath of the Wild? or are there other options?”

BUP 10:11 PM: "Didn't have to be that”

BUP 10:11 PM: "What shit again specifically? I don't remember.”

BUP 10:11 PM: "Like i said i know it all”

BUP 10:11 PM: "Well almost.”

Xenquility 10:12 PM: "Stuff bout ghosty”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:13 PM: "the way bup talks is awfully familiar”

otherLiam 10:13 PM: "What you said before was you'd spill all of GhostBabel's dirt, although if you really know everything there's probably some things we'd rather know.”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:13 PM: "is it? “

BUP 10:14 PM: "Is it”

BUP 10:14 PM: "???”

otherLiam 10:15 PM: "I wouldn't know.”

BUP 10:16 PM: "Lost in his theories”

BUP 10:16 PM: "Last accusation was that I was SKM”

Xenquility 10:17 PM: "He's actually simple fucking flips”

BUP 10:17 PM: "Squaddie Kids Meals”

BUP 10:17 PM: "SKM true lore unlocked confirmed”

BUP 10:17 PM: "Just kidding”

otherLiam 10:19 PM: "Why "BUP"?”

BUP 10:19 PM: "Its funny”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:19 PM: ":BUP:”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:19 PM: "bup”

otherLiam 10:19 PM: "Man I'm gonna be sad if SimpleFlips is a cultist.”

BUP 10:19 PM: "But im a jevil”

BUP 10:19 PM: "Apparently”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:20 PM: ":Jefault:”

Xenquility 10:20 PM: "Jumbo Jevil”

BUP 10:20 PM: "I mean honestly its not a bad analysis based on how im handling this antagonist role”

otherLiam 10:21 PM: "I mean thus far you aren't much of an antagonist. You locked us out of talking to GhostBabel, whose been dark for months anyway.”

BUP 10:21 PM: "Wait i forgot the creepy meme line”

BUP 10:21 PM: "I'm a bad guy :wink:”

BUP 10:21 PM: "Ok ocd fixed”

BUP 10:21 PM: "I mean thats true”

BUP 10:21 PM: "Then maybe i should threaten something more drastic”

otherLiam 10:21 PM: "Sounds fun.”

Xenquility 10:21 PM: "Not really”

otherLiam 10:21 PM: "But then to keep your jevil status”

otherLiam 10:21 PM: "you have to offer a larger reward, too.”

BUP 10:22 PM: "Do i?”

Xenquility 10:22 PM: "That's a terrible idea”

otherLiam 10:22 PM: "Gotta keep your game fair and balanced.”

Xenquility 10:22 PM: "We dont need a bigger threat”

otherLiam 10:22 PM: "See, Xen's freaking out already.”

BUP 10:22 PM: "Or wouldn't it be more evil to just”

BUP 10:22 PM: "Alter the deal”

otherLiam 10:22 PM: "pray i do not alter it further” 

ADULT_LINK△ 10:22 PM: "jevils whole thing is that he's like. aware of reality on a layer higher than the player characters”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:22 PM: "and he's chaotic”

BUP 10:22 PM: "I mean”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:22 PM: "not neccicerrily evil”

BUP 10:22 PM: "Thats accurate”

Xenquility 10:23 PM: "Bupgm”

otherLiam 10:23 PM: "nah if you really want antagonist status you gotta be like Jigsaw or some shit”

BUP 10:23 PM: "Okay then”

Xenquility 10:23 PM: "No you don't”

otherLiam 10:23 PM: "otherwise you're just like any of these other clowns we gotta roll our eyes at”

Xenquility 10:23 PM: "Liam shut the hell up”

otherLiam 10:24 PM: "Jigsaw's classy, he's got rules and clear rewards and consequences”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:24 PM: "caliborn was based off shitty jigsaw memer from mspaint forums”

otherLiam 10:24 PM: "he's so good his franchise is still living off his rep despite his canon death”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:24 PM: "i say bup seems more gamzee-like, pretty chill so far but likely to go apeshit later on”

BUP 10:25 PM: "I'm only here because someone has been swatting the chessboard”

BUP 10:25 PM: "And it's pissing off the other pieces”

otherLiam 10:26 PM: "Who's that?”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:26 PM: ":hylotl_eyes:”

Xenquility 10:26 PM: "Some guy named wolf maybe”

Xenquility 10:26 PM: "Or ghost”

Xenquility 10:26 PM: "Someone messing up others plans”

BUP 10:26 PM: "Gost is smalltiem”

BUP 10:26 PM: "This is big brain hours”

Xenquility 10:27 PM: "Ay bup I got a question”

BUP 10:27 PM: "I have answer but i might not share”

BUP 10:27 PM: ":wink:”

Xenquility 10:27 PM: "Are you actually working with the bad guys, or are you just  messing with us for fun?”

otherLiam 10:27 PM: "lol which bad guys”

Wolfcat 10:27 PM: "Hey guys”

Wolfcat 10:27 PM: "Whoa, lotta new people”

Wolfcat 10:27 PM: "Why aren't we on Skype again?”

otherLiam 10:28 PM: "...”

otherLiam 10:28 PM: "shut up, wolf.”

Xenquility 10:28 PM: "Fighting words”

BUP 10:28 PM: "@otherLiam correct”

BUP 10:28 PM: "Or i mean”

BUP 10:28 PM: "That is the right question”

Wolfcat 10:28 PM: "OI”

otherLiam 10:28 PM: "Any way I can get a straight answer?”

Xenquility 10:28 PM: "Alright, which bad guys?”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:28 PM: "im just shitpostin lmao”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:29 PM: "unless....?”

BUP 10:29 PM: "Well the answer is both”

BUP 10:29 PM: "I am bad and also trolling”

BUP 10:29 PM: "But only cause i want to be”

BUP 10:29 PM: "This is an active decision I'm making”

otherLiam 10:29 PM: "I meant, a straight answer to "Which bad guys are you with"?”

BUP 10:30 PM: "The ones i assembled”

Xenquility 10:30 PM: "Which ones did you assemble?”

otherLiam 10:30 PM: "Oh man, we got a leader.”

otherLiam 10:30 PM: "This really is big brain hours.”

BUP 10:31 PM: ".img big brain hours”

BUP 10:32 PM: "Ok well”

BUP 10:32 PM: "I wont tell you because that spoils my whole game”

BUP 10:32 PM: "Not the little ones right now i mean the like big shebang”

Xenquility 10:32 PM: "Do you plan on ending the world?”

BUP 10:33 PM: "No”

otherLiam 10:33 PM: "Wow what a question.”

Xenquility 10:33 PM: "Cool”

Xenquility 10:33 PM: "So no Luna bullshit?”

BUP 10:33 PM: "Of course there is”

Xenquility 10:33 PM: "Damnit”

BUP 10:33 PM: "Its just not my personal goal”

otherLiam 10:33 PM: "Man that's refreshing, a villain with a plan beyond "Im gonna drop the moon".”

Xenquility 10:33 PM: "I know. I love this guy”

otherLiam 10:34 PM: "Can we fight you forever?”

BUP 10:34 PM: "You already have”

BUP 10:34 PM: "So to speak”

BUP 10:34 PM: "Well not 'forever'”

BUP 10:34 PM: "Ok well”

otherLiam 10:35 PM: "What you're saying is we've met before.”

BUP 10:35 PM: "I'll give you this then”

Wolfcat 10:35 PM: "Why why why why I don't fight you a lot forever?”

Xenquility 10:35 PM: "Sounds tenebris-esque”

BUP 10:35 PM: "I killed Yuuki”

BUP 10:35 PM: "Not directly”

BUP 10:35 PM: "I mean I didn't strangle her myself”

BUP 10:35 PM: "But i mqde the decision that led to it happening”

Xenquility 10:36 PM: "Oh my”

BUP 10:36 PM: "*made”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:36 PM: "haha oof”

otherLiam 10:36 PM: "Well that does narrow it down.”

BUP 10:36 PM: "Does it?”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:36 PM: "does it?”

Xenquility 10:36 PM: "Why did you decide to kill her?”

otherLiam 10:37 PM: "Kinda. Puts you in one of the two universes.”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:37 PM: "*four”

Xenquility 10:37 PM: "circle pizz off”

BUP 10:37 PM: "Now you're questioning where and who i am based upon a timeline theory”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:37 PM: ":angerymista:”

Wolfcat 10:37 PM: "She won't die.”

Xenquility 10:37 PM: "This guy could transcend timelines for all we know”

Wolfcat 10:37 PM: "Not if I can stop it.”

otherLiam 10:37 PM: "Wolf she's already dead.”

otherLiam 10:37 PM: "Bad news.”

otherLiam 10:37 PM: "We didn't stop it.”

BUP 10:38 PM: "@Wolfcat cry more”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:38 PM: "this is the wolfcat from the alternate universe where he has alzheimer's”

Xenquility 10:38 PM: "LMAO”

Wolfcat 10:38 PM: "You'll be the one crying at the end of this”

BUP 10:38 PM: "Good luck”

otherLiam 10:38 PM: "There's no need to be rude to BUP.”

Xenquility 10:38 PM: "Wolf don't be sad you still have Erika”

otherLiam 10:38 PM: "Just because he's our enemy doesn't mean we can't be friends.”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:38 PM: "would explain the skype avatar and asking why we arent on skype”

BUP 10:38 PM: "Hooe it goes better than last time wolf”

BUP 10:38 PM: "Hope*”

otherLiam 10:38 PM: "he's just wolfposting”

BUP 10:38 PM: "Man i am a typomaniac”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:38 PM: ":ZoomEyes:”

Wolfcat 10:39 PM: "I am preparing a place for her”

Xenquility 10:39 PM: "Can we stop trying to fit each person into a damn timeline and just accept we hardly have any clue if any of our theories are correct”

Wolfcat 10:39 PM: "A nice little home for us to live in”

Wolfcat 10:39 PM: "Forever”

BUP 10:39 PM: "Gross”

BUP 10:39 PM: "Hey wolf”

Wolfcat 10:39 PM: "Me, me, him, and her”

Wolfcat 10:39 PM: "yea”

otherLiam 10:39 PM: "yikes.”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:40 PM: "literally how do you think i wasn't shitposting last night”

Xenquility 10:40 PM: "I've lost so much faith in humanity I can't tell the difference anymore”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:40 PM: "i have lost the ability to tell who's being serious and who's fucking around in this server”

Xenquility 10:40 PM: "^”

otherLiam 10:40 PM: "I’m always serious.”

otherLiam 10:40 PM: ":wink:”

otherLiam 10:40 PM: "Oh wait”

otherLiam 10:40 PM: "“Cus I’m a good guy :wink: “”

Xenquility 10:41 PM: "i vote song of time lets go save yuuki guys hurray hurrah”

Xenquility 10:41 PM: ":BUP:”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:42 PM: ":BUP:”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:42 PM: "when the fuck did emojis get so big”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:42 PM: "why is my bup emoji so scuffed”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:42 PM: "one of the recent updates”

Xenquility 10:42 PM: "my bup can beat your bup”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:42 PM: "the update i got today broke my bandadged betterdiscord :c”

Xenquility 10:42 PM: "You got your bup on my bup!”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:42 PM: "i dont have any of my plugins”

Xenquility 10:42 PM: "No, you got your bup on my bup!”

Xenquility 10:42 PM: "Buput bupper bups”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:43 PM: "where did you get your bup”

Xenquility 10:43 PM: ":BUP: me baby”

Xenquility 10:43 PM: "hey @BUP do you own the M channel now?”

BUP 10:44 PM: "no”

Xenquility 10:44 PM: "cool”

BUP 10:45 PM: "Hey wolf”

Wolfcat 10:45 PM: "yes”

Xenquility 10:45 PM: "△”

Xenquility 10:45 PM: "-BUP”

Wolfcat 10:45 PM: "I'm already here”

Xenquility 10:45 PM: "Hey Greth posted that in the premiere chat”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:45 PM: "?”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "Greth posted △ in the premiere chat for The End”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "ready for an outlandish alternate timeline theory that i wholeheartedly believe?”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "(The Start Life video)”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:46 PM: "YES”

BUP 10:46 PM: "I'm ready”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "bup is AO helper”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "of course”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "genius”

BUP 10:46 PM: "god you wish”

Wolfcat 10:46 PM: "wholefartedly”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:46 PM: "lmao”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "wholefeetedly”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "except he's not helpful at all”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "and is evil”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "but like”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:46 PM: "otherwise literally the same person”

Xenquility 10:46 PM: "bup is au luna”

BUP 10:46 PM: "oh!”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: "Wait”

BUP 10:47 PM: "guess what!”

BUP 10:47 PM: "that's super wrong”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: "https://images.homedepot-static.com/productImages/930c2484-4b61-4b34-9e86-d8d4858cf565/svn/backyard-x-scapes-fake-rocks-hdd-rof-rocsb-64_1000.jpg”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: “die fool”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: “bup is au Alex Hall”

Wolfcat 10:47 PM: "Helper is an ancient primordial being”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: "His master plan of evil was stealing our money”

Xenquility 10:47 PM: "Digital Fireside is his way of kidnapping celebrities to rule the world”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:47 PM: "bup is actually alex hall shitposting in ID and tyler is going to be very angery”

BUP 10:48 PM: "Tyler is angry anyways”

Xenquility 10:48 PM: "BUP is actually au BEN”

Xenquility 10:48 PM: "My evidence?”

Xenquility 10:48 PM: "Bup is three letters”

Xenquility 10:48 PM: "Ben is three letters”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:48 PM: "clearly bup is me but evil”

Wolfcat 10:48 PM: "BUP Soteetos”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:48 PM: "and uses capitals”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:48 PM: "the face from soteetos needs to be an emoji”

BUP 10:48 PM: "Wow i love how this entire dialogue is just speculating on who i am

and nothing that could actually hold my interest”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:49 PM: "bup is literally a toad”

BUP 10:49 PM: "you all are shart”

Wolfcat 10:49 PM: "They always ask who you are”

Wolfcat 10:49 PM: "But not how you are”

Xenquility 10:49 PM: "Specishiting”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:49 PM: "im not actuallu speculating i'm just fucking around”

Wolfcat 10:49 PM: "How are you tonight Bup”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:49 PM: "they always ask who you are”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:49 PM: "but never why you are”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:49 PM: "why are you bup?”

BUP 10:49 PM: "that's like asking for all the answers at once”

BUP 10:49 PM: "and you dont even know it”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:49 PM: ":sBup:”

Wolfcat 10:50 PM: "When are you Bup?”

BUP 10:50 PM: "now”

Xenquility 10:50 PM: "Do you want us dead?”

BUP 10:50 PM: "no”

Xenquility 10:50 PM: "Do you want Tyler dead?”

BUP 10:50 PM: "me personally?”

BUP 10:50 PM: "no”

BUP 10:50 PM: "actually not at all even”

BUP 10:50 PM: "well kinda but not really”

BUP 10:50 PM: "this is difficult to explain”

Xenquility 10:51 PM: "Are you worried about the fact the lc/ao people could very well end the world and all the fun in it if they succeed in calling down Luna?”

/Mr. Circle\ 10:51 PM: "this conversation is the ID equivalent of the extended version of that scene where weasel tells deadpool what his face looks like”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:51 PM: "lmao circo”

BUP 10:51 PM: "how many layers are you even on bro”

otherLiam 10:52 PM: "bro i leave to eat and suddenly yall are just throwin weird shit”

otherLiam 10:52 PM: "what does hold your interest, BUP?”

BUP 10:52 PM: "because that could all happen and me and my squad would go”

BUP 10:52 PM: "'ok well that was one way of our game ending'”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:52 PM: ":heckasmug:”

BUP 10:52 PM: "well game is putting it lightly”

Xenquility 10:52 PM: "Other than you, have we previously encountered anyone in your Squad?”

otherLiam 10:53 PM: "squaaaaaad”

BUP 10:53 PM: "literally everyone you've ever met”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:53 PM: "are you from the other ID”

BUP 10:53 PM: "is part of someone's squad”

BUP 10:53 PM: "and you dont even know it”

otherLiam 10:53 PM: "calling on the power of an ancient moon goddess #squadgoals”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:53 PM: "squadfam”

Xenquility 10:53 PM: "Is that eoeoeoeoeo guy affiliated with you?”

BUP 10:53 PM: "no”

Wolfcat 10:53 PM: "low leveled layer fools”

Xenquility 10:54 PM: "Oooo”

ARGDov 10:54 PM: "oof wow ok I missed some shit”

otherLiam 10:54 PM: "we’re just chattin with bup”

BUP 10:54 PM: "i mean there's the main squad”

BUP 10:54 PM: "and the we each separately have our own squaddies”

BUP 10:54 PM: "to play our games”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "huh”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "whats the main squad?”

BUP 10:55 PM: "i am using analogy”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "well, ok”

BUP 10:55 PM: "because i have to be mysterious”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "what squaddy are you a part of?”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "pfff”

otherLiam 10:55 PM: ":ghost: spooky”

Xenquility 10:55 PM: "Why does everyone have to be mysterious”

BUP 10:55 PM: "i am the master of my game”

Xenquility 10:55 PM: "No matter how it's presented the schtick gets a bit old”

otherLiam 10:55 PM: "one day we’ll meet someone that gives us a straight answer”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "because the other way is no fun”

otherLiam 10:55 PM: "i have faith”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "for them”

ARGDov 10:55 PM: "@BUP what game?”

Xenquility 10:56 PM: "WELL MAYBE THEY SHOULD THINK ABOUT OUR FELLINGS FOR ONCE ;-;”

Xenquility 10:56 PM: "(I'm kidding if that wasn't implied)”

BUP 10:56 PM: "okay do you remember kingdom hearts”

ARGDov 10:56 PM: "yes”

BUP 10:56 PM: "how those two idiot kids played chess”

Wolfcat 10:56 PM: "yes”

otherLiam 10:56 PM: "Oh no.”

ARGDov 10:56 PM: "I dont remember that but whatever”

otherLiam 10:56 PM: "It’s in the latest one.”

BUP 10:56 PM: "and then they xanatos gambited half the universe into simple and cleaning their way into death”

Wolfcat 10:56 PM: "xehanort and eraqus”

otherLiam 10:57 PM: "Yes.”

BUP 10:57 PM: "okay i am one of those guys in this situation but there are more kids with bad haircuts playing chess”

Xenquility 10:57 PM: "lmao any chance we could win the game?”

BUP 10:57 PM: "and its not actually like kingdom hearts at all”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:57 PM: "i dont know kingdom hearts”

otherLiam 10:58 PM: "I get the feeling we’re losing so badly at this point that it’s like in Mario Party when you’re in 4th but can steal a star to decide who wins.”

BUP 10:58 PM: "not really”

BUP 10:58 PM: "you saw how things are going in general”

BUP 10:58 PM: "at some point when lines blur”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:58 PM: "we just gotta hope BUP isnt Hard DK”

BUP 10:58 PM: "fun things sneak in”

Xenquility 10:59 PM: "Any chance you could tell us who eoeoeoeoeo is and/or if we've previously encountered him?”

BUP 10:59 PM: "you know fuck mario party honestly”

Xenquility 10:59 PM: "Mario party is awesome how dare you”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:59 PM: "wait you never answered”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:59 PM: "are you from the other ID”

ARGDov 10:59 PM: "wait when lines blur”

ARGDov 10:59 PM: "what do you mean lines blur”

Xenquility 10:59 PM: "Lines are pretty blurry right now and BUP is pretty fun”

ARGDov 10:59 PM: "and I thought he said he wasnt?”

BUP 10:59 PM: "i am from every ID”

Xenquility 10:59 PM: "Hey yugi”

ARGDov 10:59 PM: "EVERY ID?”

BUP 10:59 PM: "ye”

ARGDov 11:00 PM: "wait do you mean from every one of us as individuals”

BUP 11:00 PM: "no”

ARGDov 11:00 PM: "or every iteration of the group across the dimensions”

BUP 11:00 PM: "lmao”

BUP 11:00 PM: "kind of”

BUP 11:00 PM: "think broader”

BUP 11:00 PM: "but dont actually”

BUP 11:00 PM: "ive said too much”

ARGDov 11:00 PM: "ok”

BUP 11:00 PM: "my spider sense is tingling”

Xenquility 11:00 PM: "No you haven't”

ARGDov 11:00 PM: "headache forming”

ARGDov 11:00 PM: "and why is it tingling?”

Wolfcat 11:01 PM: "damn you spoiled the end of jid”

Xenquility 11:01 PM: "EPONAS SONG WE MUST STABALIZE HIM”

Xenquility 11:01 PM: "no jk”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "lets not”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "I guess hes gone?”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "....ok then”

Xenquility 11:01 PM: "how did he spoil the end of jid exactly?”

BUP 11:01 PM: "what”

Wolfcat 11:01 PM: "i was talking about the roblox pic”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "oh no you're still here”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "shows what I know”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:01 PM: "we must become powerful”

otherLiam 11:01 PM: "wut”

ARGDov 11:01 PM: "@BUP why are your spidey senses tingling”

Wolfcat 11:01 PM: "damn”

BUP 11:01 PM: "from saying too much on that topic”

ARGDov 11:02 PM: "oh damn”

ARGDov 11:02 PM: "anyways hmm”

Xenquility 11:02 PM: "Think you could tell us about eoeoeoeoeo?”

BUP 11:02 PM: "i cant”

ARGDov 11:02 PM: "also- why are you here?”

BUP 11:02 PM: "because i dont know”

Xenquility 11:02 PM: "fuck”

Xenquility 11:02 PM: "oh”

BUP 11:02 PM: "not my purview fucko”

Wolfcat 11:02 PM: "more like purrview”

BUP 11:02 PM: "shut up furry”

Xenquility 11:02 PM: "more like purrvore”

BUP 11:03 PM: "okay goodbye”

ARGDov 11:03 PM: "still not answering my question”

Wolfcat 11:03 PM: "this guy knows whats up”

ARGDov 11:03 PM: "why are you here?”

Xenquility 11:03 PM: "something about he likes fun and games and shit”

Xenquility 11:03 PM: "Because every evil being likes to fuck with us”

Wolfcat 11:03 PM: "isnt that why we're all here?”

Xenquility 11:03 PM: "Can't blame them we're the epitome of retardation”

Wolfcat 11:04 PM: "we are homo ludens”

otherLiam 11:04 PM: "yall you gotta banter with bup”

ARGDov 11:04 PM: "we have been”

Wolfcat 11:04 PM: "no”

otherLiam 11:04 PM: "else they get bored”

Wolfcat 11:05 PM: "answer my question”

Wolfcat 11:05 PM: "answer my question now”

ARGDov 11:05 PM: "we'll Im trying to anyways”

Wolfcat 11:05 PM: "youre not answering my question”

otherLiam 11:05 PM: "no youve been interviewing him”

ARGDov 11:05 PM: "I cant just force banter”

Xenquility 11:05 PM: "Cool mr let's get bup to raise the stakes”

BUP 11:05 PM: "like CHILDREN”

BUP 11:05 PM: "ok what”

BUP 11:05 PM: "what is it”

BUP 11:05 PM: "god”

Xenquility 11:05 PM: "interviews are fun”

ARGDov 11:05 PM: "lol we are like children its true”

Wolfcat 11:05 PM: "@BUP”

Wolfcat 11:05 PM: "hi bup”

ARGDov 11:05 PM: "interviews are only fun when they're with vampires who may rip your head off if you arent careful”

otherLiam 11:05 PM: "wut”

BUP 11:06 PM: "that's true”

Xenquility 11:06 PM: "Are you assuming he's not a vampire?”

BUP 11:06 PM: "that gives me an idea for a game”

BUP 11:06 PM: "how about you interview me and if i don't like the question”

BUP 11:06 PM: "someone dies”

Wolfcat 11:06 PM: "sounds reasonable”

Xenquility 11:06 PM: "How about no?”

otherLiam 11:06 PM: "will it be someone important”

BUP 11:06 PM: "maybe”

BUP 11:06 PM: "maybe not”

otherLiam 11:06 PM: "can i call first dibs on dying”

BUP 11:06 PM: "no”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:06 PM: "can i die”

BUP 11:06 PM: "i have someone in mind”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:07 PM: "oh damn dibs got called”

Xenquility 11:07 PM: “That's ominous”

Wolfcat 11:07 PM: "damn”

Wolfcat 11:07 PM: "im starting to realize”

otherLiam 11:07 PM: "I mean I’d be down if you set rules for what you “don’t like”.”

otherLiam 11:07 PM: "Otherwise you could just say you don’t like every question.”

BUP 11:07 PM: "okay then”

BUP 11:07 PM: "1. yes and no / true false questions”

BUP 11:07 PM: "- none of these, i don't like em”

BUP 11:07 PM: "2. stop asking my identity”

BUP 11:07 PM: "3. No asking about Tyler”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:09 PM: "wait fuck thats a yes/no sorta”

Xenquility 11:09 PM: "Not really”

Xenquility 11:09 PM: "I thought it was good”

otherLiam 11:10 PM: "(please for the love of god submit these elsewhere for approval)”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:10 PM: "i mean he could literally answr with "yes" or "no" and refuse to elaborate”

otherLiam 11:10 PM: "(he’ll kill someone)”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:10 PM: "man, not asking a question that could be asnwered with a yes/no is hard”

ARGDov 11:11 PM: "ok fine, better questions than”

ARGDov 11:11 PM: "@BUP can you tell us what SKM and his brother have been up to?”

BUP 11:12 PM: "working with a group of hackers”

ARGDov 11:12 PM: "what on?”

BUP 11:12 PM: "computers”

otherLiam 11:12 PM: "pfft”

Wolfcat 11:12 PM: ":hmmm:”

ARGDov 11:12 PM: "hahhaha”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:12 PM: "do you have any suggestions for getting dried blood off a nintendo switch”

ARGDov 11:12 PM: "What are the hackers doing o nthe computers?”

otherLiam 11:12 PM: "soap and water thorin”

otherLiam 11:12 PM: "it’s hard plastic, not a fucking couch”

BUP 11:13 PM: "nail polish remover”

BUP 11:13 PM: "be careful”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:13 PM: "hm”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:13 PM: "aiight, thanks man”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:13 PM: "i'll look into getting some nail polish remover i guess”

Xenquility 11:14 PM: "What are Nocta and crew currently working on?”

BUP 11:14 PM: "try regular isopropyl rubbing alcohol first”

BUP 11:14 PM: "nail polish remover can sometime strip color from plastic”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:14 PM: "oh yikes, yeah i'll try rubbing alcohol first for sure then”

ARGDov 11:15 PM: "lmao we've lost track of the questions again”

ARGDov 11:15 PM: "that was fast”

otherLiam 11:15 PM: "I mean here’s an obvious question. Why are johnisdead.com and lunarchildren.com locked down?”

BUP 11:15 PM: "@Xenquility nocta is hiding”

ARGDov 11:15 PM: "why is he hiding?”

BUP 11:15 PM: "@ARGDov”

BUP 11:15 PM: "because of you all”

ARGDov 11:15 PM: "wait what did we do to scare him?”

otherLiam 11:15 PM: "Ooo we got him running scared.”

otherLiam 11:15 PM: "I mean we played a buncha magic songs at him and are actively trying to dig into his secret safe space”

Xenquility 11:16 PM: "What's going on with archives guy?”

ARGDov 11:16 PM: "eh, Im hoping for specifics”

BUP 11:17 PM: "archives guy is lost”

BUP 11:17 PM: "lost to me anyway”

BUP 11:17 PM: "i'm damn near omniscient but he went deep”

ARGDov 11:17 PM: "daaamn”

ARGDov 11:17 PM: "so hes still around”

ARGDov 11:17 PM: "good to know I guess”

BUP 11:17 PM: "somewhere”

ARGDov 11:18 PM: "Im still wondering what we did to scare off nocta”

BUP 11:18 PM: "well”

BUP 11:18 PM: "you didnt scare him off”

BUP 11:18 PM: "what you caused scared him off”

ARGDov 11:18 PM: "meaning....?”

Xenquility 11:18 PM: "Elegy”

BUP 11:18 PM: "that's part of it”

ARGDov 11:18 PM: "maybe let him answer before guessing lol”

ARGDov 11:18 PM: "ok, well, whats the rest of it?”

BUP 11:19 PM: "hmm”

otherLiam 11:19 PM: "If we did that, you’d be the only person asking questions.”

Xenquility 11:19 PM: "Posting the song of time or whatever on their forums probably didnt help either”

BUP 11:19 PM: "not sure that's safe to talk about here”

BUP 11:19 PM: "even for me”

ARGDov 11:19 PM: "well then y'all should ask some good ones too lol”

BUP 11:19 PM: "not that i'm scared”

ARGDov 11:19 PM: "ok,well, noted”

otherLiam 11:19 PM: "What exactly did the Elegy do?”

Xenquility 11:19 PM: "What keeps preventing people from talking about the stuff we need to know about?”

BUP 11:19 PM: "release an entity into that realm”

BUP 11:19 PM: "dont ask me what because i dont know”

BUP 11:19 PM: "rather, i dont care”

ARGDov 11:20 PM: "fair I suppose”

BUP 11:20 PM: "you can blame slinky”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:20 PM: "do you have any suggestions for our next move?”

Xenquility 11:20 PM: "Why are our two greth's in the past?”

BUP 11:21 PM: "@ADULT_LINK△ no”

BUP 11:21 PM: "@Xenquility because i thought it'd be useful”

BUP 11:21 PM: "and it was”

ARGDov 11:22 PM: "wait”

ARGDov 11:22 PM: "you did that”

Xenquility 11:22 PM: "For you, or for us?”

ARGDov 11:22 PM: "damn your powerful”

BUP 11:22 PM: "you know”

BUP 11:22 PM: "i am, and i'm really not”

ARGDov 11:23 PM: "ok, other question- should we be afraid of you?”

BUP 11:23 PM: "if only you could truly understand”

Xenquility 11:23 PM: "uh”

Xenquility 11:23 PM: "dov”

BUP 11:23 PM: "i think you should be afraid of any stranger willing to tell you what you want to hear”

ARGDov 11:23 PM: "thats true but I suppose wasnt my point lol”

BUP 11:23 PM: "it is.”

ARGDov 11:24 PM: "either way Im sure the point is moot”

ARGDov 11:24 PM: "hmmm ok other questions”

ARGDov 11:24 PM: "where is Tyler now? our universes tyler”

BUP 11:24 PM: "ding ding ding”

Xenquility 11:24 PM: ".....”

Wolfcat 11:24 PM: "welp”

Xenquility 11:24 PM: "DOV”

Xenquility 11:24 PM: "BOMB PLANS 3.0”

ARGDov 11:24 PM: "?”

Xenquility 11:25 PM: "3. No asking about Tyler”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:25 PM: "dov you dunce”

ARGDov 11:25 PM: "shit”

ARGDov 11:25 PM: "my bad sorry”

Wolfcat 11:25 PM: ":turboass:”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:25 PM: "welp you just killed someone”

ARGDov 11:25 PM: "what no I didnt”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:25 PM: ":rip:”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:25 PM: "yeah”

Xenquility 11:25 PM: "The punishment for asking a question he didn't like was someone dying”

ARGDov 11:25 PM: "FUCK”

ARGDov 11:25 PM: "IM SORRU”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:25 PM: "https://gyazo.com/a1beaf63b6873604c4424185a1835051”

Xenquility 11:25 PM: "Kill? yes”

otherLiam 11:26 PM: "Are you”

otherLiam 11:26 PM: "fucking”

ARGDov 11:26 PM: "@BUP sorry please dont kill someone :c”

otherLiam 11:26 PM: "serious.”

ARGDov 11:26 PM: "I FORGOT”

ARGDov 11:26 PM: "SORRY”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:26 PM: "dov you're like”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:26 PM: "a huge murderer now”

Wolfcat 11:26 PM: "kill dov in their place”

otherLiam 11:26 PM: "It’s THREE RULES.”

ARGDov 11:26 PM: "I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF QUESTIONS”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:26 PM: "you nearly killed people with bomb plans, you voted yes instantly on the kill vote, and now this”

Wolfcat 11:27 PM: ":hmmm:”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 PM: "oh shit is there more?”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "no”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "the runes didnt get anyone KILLED”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "ok fine”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "Im out of questions”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "you fuckers think of something”

otherLiam 11:27 PM: "YOU THINK?!”

BUP 11:27 PM: "desperation makes me smile”

BUP 11:27 PM: "tbh”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:27 PM: "the bear jew strikes again”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 PM: "i uh. think the questions are over”

Xenquility 11:27 PM: "Who just died?”

Xenquility 11:27 PM: "lmao”

Wolfcat 11:27 PM: "you're out of questions”

Wolfcat 11:27 PM: "im out of time”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 PM: "unless we get to kill more people”

ARGDov 11:27 PM: "Im an otter actually.”

otherLiam 11:28 PM: "I have questions but I’m pretty sure you just game over’d us by spamming them.”

ARGDov 11:28 PM: "too skinny to be a bear”

BUP 11:28 PM: "I'll give you a choice”

BUP 11:28 PM: "how about this”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:28 PM: "you see, this is a reference to both the homosexual male lifestyle and the 2005 quentin tarantino film "inglourious basterds"”

BUP 11:28 PM: “I could kill someone you love, but is of little consequence to you now”

ARGDov 11:28 PM: "clearly you dont know your gay body types well circle”

BUP 11:28 PM: "Or i could kill someone you hate, but it would set you back far”

ARGDov 11:28 PM: "shit”

ARGDov 11:28 PM: "you mean to us as a group”

Xenquility 11:28 PM: "Alright who do we love?”

ARGDov 11:29 PM: "Im not picking this”

Xenquility 11:29 PM: "We love Tyler”

Xenquility 11:29 PM: "Moonman”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:29 PM: "the only person from the group that i like. hate”

Xenquility 11:29 PM: "Greth”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:29 PM: "kill mugen”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:29 PM: "woul dbe mugen”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:29 PM: "i swear to fuck if mugen is neccecarry”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:29 PM: "WHOM”

otherLiam 11:29 PM: "Who the fuck is this now”

Xenquility 11:29 PM: "Let's balance our options”

Xenquility 11:29 PM: "List off people we love”

otherLiam 11:29 PM: "look the choice is obvious here”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:29 PM: "whom'st dide”

Wolfcat 11:29 PM: "oh please give him some ideas”

otherLiam 11:29 PM: "we can’t afford any more setbacks.”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "I know who we should pick”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:30 PM: "i was joking please do not kill mugen”

otherLiam 11:30 PM: "We already have tons.”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "yeah we need to be calculating”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:30 PM: "hehe dide sounds like died”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "actually yes”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "next time someone asks a bad question”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "kill mugen”

otherLiam 11:30 PM: "Fuck our loved ones, necessary sacrifices.”

Xenquility 11:30 PM: "I concur”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "im inclined to agree with Liam”

Wolfcat 11:30 PM: "kill someone we love”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "although Im worried”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "bloods gonna be on my hands now :c”

Xenquility 11:30 PM: "If we get set back anymore, we're fucked and all our loved ones die”

otherLiam 11:30 PM: "YEAH NO SHIT”

ARGDov 11:30 PM: "oh fuck off Liam”

BUP 11:30 PM: "well it's done”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:31 PM: "dov this is like the eighth death you're responsible for”

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "someone else wouldve fucked it up if I hadnt”

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "....”

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "name the other ones”

otherLiam 11:31 PM: "Do we get to know who’s dead?”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:31 PM: "are you sure about that”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:31 PM: "technically maybe more”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:31 PM: "i'd like to know who we just killed as well” 

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "same”

otherLiam 11:31 PM: "Yeah but like, which loved one”

BUP 11:31 PM: "you see it's funny when you can play with the rules”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:31 PM: "hold on, someone's knocking at m”

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "if its greth Im going to be extremely upset”

ARGDov 11:31 PM: "NO”

BUP 11:32 PM: "because to you”

BUP 11:32 PM: "theyre already dead”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "lmao fuck off circle”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "......oh SHIT”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "PARADOX”

Xenquility 11:32 PM: "uh”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "WAIT HOLY FUCK”

otherLiam 11:32 PM: "Oh ffs we just killed Yuuki.”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "YUKI”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "DID WE JUST KILL YIKI AGAN”

Xenquility 11:32 PM: "LMAO”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "YUUKI”

otherLiam 11:32 PM: "In the past.”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "GAAAAAAAH”

BUP 11:32 PM: "i told you before”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "that would explain earlier lmao”

otherLiam 11:32 PM: "@Wolfcat dov killed your waifu”

Xenquility 11:32 PM: "Well that was better than I expected”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "wait have we done this before”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "SHHH LIAM”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "SHUT UP]”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:32 PM: "jesus christ that was a masterful setup”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "is this some time loop shenannigans”

ARGDov 11:32 PM: "so wait”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:32 PM: "also hot damn that was really good”

otherLiam 11:33 PM: "DOV”

otherLiam 11:33 PM: "FFS”

Xenquility 11:33 PM: "(lmao what if it was john)”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:33 PM: "did bup talk about anyone we disliked earlier?”

Xenquility 11:33 PM: "The interview is over”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:33 PM: "JOHN HOLY FUCK”

otherLiam 11:33 PM: "STOP ASKING QUESTIONS DOV”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:33 PM: "thats not a question for but thats for the room”

ARGDov 11:33 PM: "what are you talking about theres nothing there”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:33 PM: "DOV KILLED JOHN”

Xenquility 11:33 PM: "big brain”

otherLiam 11:33 PM: "jesus god”

Wolfcat 11:33 PM: "god fucking damn it dov”

ARGDov 11:33 PM: "ok so fuck it”

Wolfcat 11:33 PM: "She'll △lways live”

ARGDov 11:33 PM: "we killed Yuki”

ARGDov 11:33 PM: "and thats it”

BUP 11:34 PM: "I killed Yuuki”

BUP 11:34 PM: "Not directly”

BUP 11:34 PM: "I mean I didn't strangle her myself”

BUP 11:34 PM: "But i made the decision that led to it happening”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:34 PM: "dov is the whole ass reason we're in this mess”

ARGDov 11:34 PM: "no one else”

ARGDov 11:34 PM: "no one asked any other bad questions”

ARGDov 11:34 PM: "shhhhh”

otherLiam 11:34 PM: "Alright so uh”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:34 PM: "someone shittily photoshop dovs face onto this”

otherLiam 11:34 PM: "do we get to keep asking questions?”

ARGDov 11:34 PM: "LIAM”

ARGDov 11:34 PM: "THATS A YES OR NO QUESTION”

BUP 11:34 PM: "you're lucky i didn't stomp on the mouse instead”

Xenquility 11:35 PM: "Doug?”

otherLiam 11:35 PM: "That’s not to him.”

otherLiam 11:35 PM: "Chill.”

BUP 11:35 PM: "that wouldve caused real problems waaaaay back”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:35 PM: "mouse?”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:35 PM: "wait”

Xenquility 11:35 PM: "Mouse = doug”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:35 PM: "PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE”

Xenquility 11:35 PM: "maybe”

ARGDov 11:35 PM: "letschasethemouse”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:35 PM: "CURSOR IS A GOOD BOI”

otherLiam 11:35 PM: "I didn’t do anything silly like ping him.”

Wolfcat 11:35 PM: "He's being a bitchass”

Xenquility 11:35 PM: "Holy shit cursor”

BUP 11:35 PM: "@Wolfcat”

BUP 11:35 PM: "gunna cry?”

ARGDov 11:35 PM: "...”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:35 PM: "i think dov could have just murdered instead of bomb plans

maybe cum a little?”

otherLiam 11:35 PM: "@BUP How can we get the login creds to johnisdead.com or lunarchildren.com?”

otherLiam 11:35 PM: "There’s a question.”

Xenquility 11:36 PM: "(I'm not asking Bup this) Does that mean that Doug will be immediately useful to us?”

otherLiam 11:36 PM: "Get this back on track.”

Xenquility 11:36 PM: "(To clarify I'm asking the group that)”

ARGDov 11:36 PM: "not necesarily”

ARGDov 11:36 PM: "he couldve picked him”

ARGDov 11:36 PM: "which means hes not useful to us atm either”

Xenquility 11:36 PM: "We don't love doug”

Xenquility 11:36 PM: "nescessarily”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:36 PM: "bup seems to not be linear in time”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:36 PM: "doug a bitch”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:36 PM: "since dov just killed yuuki in the past”

BUP 11:36 PM: "well she was ascended”

BUP 11:36 PM: "but i told them to do that”

BUP 11:36 PM: "i needed an excuse for our game”

otherLiam 11:37 PM: "REMEMBER THE RULES”

BUP 11:37 PM: "oh you think we're still playing?”

BUP 11:37 PM: "you want to risk more people?”

BUP 11:37 PM: "lmao”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:37 PM: "nah not really”

Xenquility 11:37 PM: "P sure it's over”

BUP 11:37 PM: "bloodthirsty”

otherLiam 11:37 PM: "I’ll risk it.”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:37 PM: "i figured dov murdering someone was the end”

otherLiam 11:37 PM: "It’s not a risk if you just think before sending.”

ARGDov 11:37 PM: "pffff”

Wolfcat 11:37 PM: "You're risking your own chess pieces”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:37 PM: "do we really want to risk killing another person when we've asked so many fuckin yes/no's”

ARGDov 11:37 PM: "no we dont”

otherLiam 11:38 PM: "who the fuck is we”

BUP 11:38 PM: "my army is larger”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:38 PM: "the group as a whole, duh”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:38 PM: "the hell you think i mean by we”

ARGDov 11:38 PM: "whod have thought that someone with a toad avatar would be so twisted”

Xenquility 11:38 PM: "I vote we fuck this game and go back to the No-Rule Questions But Bup Probably Won't Answer system”

otherLiam 11:38 PM: "Cus i aint asked any dumbass questions”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:39 PM: "you've asked like 2 or 3 yes/no's since dov killed yuuki”

ARGDov 11:39 PM: "lol yup”

BUP 11:39 PM: "this is fun”

ARGDov 11:39 PM: "ALSO STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT”

otherLiam 11:39 PM: "I asked one to the group.”

BUP 11:39 PM: "i can make a simple game”

Xenquility 11:39 PM: "Can we all shut up and stop arguing?”

BUP 11:39 PM: "and turn this place into a battle royale”

BUP 11:39 PM: "you all turn on each other easily”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:39 PM: "me lmao”

Xenquility 11:39 PM: "Bup is obviously enjoying this”

otherLiam 11:39 PM: "Fuck these guys I’d like to still play.”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:39 PM: "we playin realm royale now?”

Xenquility 11:39 PM: "We fought over Erika and now we're fighting over a mistake”

Wolfcat 11:39 PM: ":jack_o_lantern:”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:39 PM: "where we droppin bois”

ARGDov 11:39 PM: "ACTUALLY FUCK”

BUP 11:40 PM: "Erika was a mistake”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "why?”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "why was she a mistake?”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "where is she now anyways?”

BUP 11:40 PM: "im kidding”

BUP 11:40 PM: "i dont care”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "fuck”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "I just realized we couldve asked him about her”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "oh well”

otherLiam 11:40 PM: "We could’ve asked about a lot of things.”

otherLiam 11:40 PM: "Erika was on my list.”

otherLiam 11:40 PM: "But I was waiting for you to be done.”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "pfff”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "well”

ARGDov 11:40 PM: "Im done now”

otherLiam 11:41 PM: "We’re ALL done now.”

Xenquility 11:41 PM: "Dwelling on the past won't help us in the future. Dov screwed up, we all realise that, and he's been made fun of. If we keep arguing, we get nowhere”

otherLiam 11:41 PM: "That’s why I want to keep playing his game.”

ARGDov 11:41 PM: "ugh ok”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:41 PM: "aiight i'm gonna be back in a few minutes, i gotta piss and getting around with crutches sucks ass”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:41 PM: "kill dov next”

ARGDov 11:41 PM: "lets hope SKM can be a bit more clear whenever he gets in contact with us”

otherLiam 11:41 PM: "Cus all we got were the answers to your followups.”

ARGDov 11:41 PM: "in fairness we got some info”

ARGDov 11:41 PM: "and Yuki was destined to die anyways”

ARGDov 11:41 PM: "so it couldve been worse”

BUP 11:42 PM: "was she?”

otherLiam 11:42 PM: "@BUP Is continuing to play still an option?”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "I mean in our timeline, she'd already gotten killed”

otherLiam 11:42 PM: "And yeah I know, but we aren’t playing rn.”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:42 PM: "one thing we've learned is that bup does not seem to play linearly in time”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "well, not in our timeline”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "but anyways”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "shed already died for us”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "so really”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "me askign the wrong question was destined”

BUP 11:42 PM: "gee”

ARGDov 11:42 PM: "and out of my control”

BUP 11:42 PM: "i wonder where you had heard”

BUP 11:42 PM: "of something like that before”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "like what?”

otherLiam 11:43 PM: “Dov has a doctorate in rationalization.”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "Im Jewish”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "we are trained to argue”

Xenquility 11:43 PM: "Did Bup go back in time and take over Yuuki's account or something”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "and I have just argued my way out of blame for death”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "so yeah”

ARGDov 11:43 PM: "Im good”

otherLiam 11:43 PM: "not really no”

Xenquility 11:43 PM: "To say the whole "This is inevitable" thing”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:43 PM: "nah you still killed her”

otherLiam 11:43 PM: "we’re just ignoring you in favor of bup”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "ok but I had no choice in it”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "it was destiny”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "but anyways”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "MOVING ON”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:44 PM: "i mean”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:44 PM: "you did”

otherLiam 11:44 PM: "okay murderer”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:44 PM: "dov could have decided not to ask but that would have caused problems temporally”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:44 PM: "it coulda been any of us idiots who did it”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:44 PM: "but you ended up bein the one who did”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "exactly,circle”

ARGDov 11:44 PM: "not my fault”

Wolfcat 11:44 PM: "You're giving bup too much credit”

Wolfcat 11:44 PM: "assuming he actually planned this from the start”

otherLiam 11:44 PM: "Hey BUP. How can we play your game again?”

BUP 11:45 PM: "honestly you all got me laughin”

BUP 11:45 PM: "plus someone died”

BUP 11:45 PM: "all in all good night”

ARGDov 11:45 PM: "so yes”

ARGDov 11:45 PM: "we should be scared of you”

ARGDov 11:45 PM: "great.”

Wolfcat 11:45 PM: "he doesnt have power over time, he has power over coincidence”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:45 PM: "since from our perspective she was already dead, it doesent really matter when we ended up getting her killed”

BUP 11:45 PM: "nah im just gonna give link a reward”

BUP 11:45 PM: "for thinkin with portals”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:45 PM: "o shit really?”

BUP 11:45 PM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI_fltggv6E”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:45 PM: "literally why does anyone think it's a good idea to continue?”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:45 PM: ":o”

ARGDov 11:45 PM: "lmao”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:45 PM: "oh my fuck”

ARGDov 11:45 PM: "Liams the only one who thinks so”

otherLiam 11:46 PM: "I’m less pissed about Yuuki getting killed and more about the game being over and not getting any more info.”

Xenquility 11:46 PM: "bup is kaiden”

Xenquility 11:46 PM: "confirmed”

BUP 11:46 PM: "nah”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:46 PM: "imagine for a second”

BUP 11:46 PM: "kaiden was the other option”

BUP 11:46 PM: "actually you guys like him now”

ARGDov 11:47 PM: "ahahahhaha”

BUP 11:47 PM: "but you didnt then”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:47 PM: "bup being mugen”

BUP 11:47 PM: "weird how that works”

ARGDov 11:47 PM: "why do we like him”

Xenquility 11:47 PM: "We like Kaiden?”

ARGDov 11:47 PM: "we havent spoken to him much really”

otherLiam 11:47 PM: "Kaiden’s adorable”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:47 PM: "cursed idea, circle”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:47 PM: "cursed”

BUP 11:47 PM: "but i told you who i was”

BUP 11:47 PM: "just now”

BUP 11:47 PM: "sort of”

otherLiam 11:47 PM: "I don’t think he likes me very much tho”

ARGDov 11:47 PM: ".....wait”

BUP 11:47 PM: "it doesnt reveal much but”

Xenquility 11:47 PM: "are you”

Xenquility 11:47 PM: "IIII”

BUP 11:47 PM: "it also does”

BUP 11:47 PM: "no”

ARGDov 11:48 PM: "are you kaiden”

BUP 11:48 PM: "no”

Xenquility 11:48 PM: "You the dark lord from the rp or whatever?”

ARGDov 11:48 PM: "I was kidding so thats a relief”

otherLiam 11:48 PM: "man it’s a good thing we aren’t playing anymore”

BUP 11:48 PM: "”You the dark lord from the rp or whatever?””

BUP 11:48 PM: "kind of!”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:48 PM: "i know who you are and i am incredibly uncomfortable”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:48 PM: "i'm gonna go now”

otherLiam 11:48 PM: "wait wut”

ARGDov 11:48 PM: "what the hell”

ARGDov 11:48 PM: "@/Mr. Circle\ WHO IS HE”

Xenquility 11:49 PM: "The one Kaiden teamed up with or the one they were against?”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: "YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND LEAVE”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:49 PM: "he's me”

BUP 11:49 PM: "oh”

BUP 11:49 PM: "you wish”

BUP 11:49 PM: "nice try”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: ".......”

Xenquility 11:49 PM: "denied lmao”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:49 PM: "damn i tried tho”

Wolfcat 11:49 PM: "I'm you”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: "Ive got a feeling he's not someone we know”

BUP 11:49 PM: "oh”

BUP 11:49 PM: "i am”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:49 PM: "the baby is he”

BUP 11:49 PM: "again sort of”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: "....of course sort of”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: "inb4 this is the alternate universe version of me”

ARGDov 11:49 PM: "No tha would be stupid”

BUP 11:50 PM: "god you all just want”

BUP 11:50 PM: "to be me”

BUP 11:50 PM: "so bad”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "Im kidding”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "Id hate it if I were you tbh”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "Id be disgusted with myself”

Xenquility 11:50 PM: "wow”

Xenquility 11:50 PM: "rude”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "shame on me”

Wolfcat 11:50 PM: "oof”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:50 PM: "i mean”

Wolfcat 11:50 PM: "cutting deep”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "Id want to slit my own wrists”

Xenquility 11:50 PM: "I mean it makes sense if you're slightly him”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:50 PM: ":THINKING:”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:50 PM: "your jevil and bup stuff is on brand for me”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:50 PM: "so”

Xenquility 11:50 PM: "jk”

ARGDov 11:50 PM: "and by my own wrists I mean your wrists that is lol”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:50 PM: "wouldnt be too bad of a thing if you were a me”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:50 PM: "or if i were a you”

Wolfcat 11:51 PM: "dov is just obsessed with killing”

/Mr. Circle\ 11:51 PM: "dov wants to murder you”

BUP 11:51 PM: "the funny thing is”

ARGDov 11:51 PM: "I AM HERE”

ARGDov 11:51 PM: "AND HE IS ME”

BUP 11:51 PM: "i straight up”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:51 PM: "idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

BUP 11:51 PM: "gave you the answer to my identity”

otherLiam 11:51 PM: "Dov’s just mad he fucked up and killed Yuuki, don’t mind him.”

Xenquility 11:51 PM: "So if Bupman IA or the "Okay soul contract time" guy”

BUP 11:51 PM: "i honest to god 100% did”

Xenquility 11:51 PM: "*is”

ARGDov 11:51 PM: "I AM HE AND HE IS ME https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Uf4sjX8RE”

BUP 11:51 PM: "you just cant connect the dots”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:51 PM: ""didnt like him then, but do now"”

Wolfcat 11:51 PM: "3?”

ARGDov 11:51 PM: "nope”

Wolfcat 11:51 PM: "△”

[terryblount]

Below – Review

It seems our industry is going through a phase lately where gamers really place value on skill. New speedrunning videos flood my YouTube feed, 16-bit games are making a comeback, and esports champions are regarded as gods in some circles. Then there is also the surge of new rogue-lites on Steam to consider.

It is in this latter category that the latest release by Capybara Games, named Below, wants to make its mark. On paper, Below has the makings of a classic, bona fide rogue-lite. It features uncomplicated yet challenging gameplay, a robust crafting and combat system, and, of course, the infamous ‘permadeath’ (dying marks the end of your progress).

In other words, the game could have been endlessly rewarding to observant and cautious players, and relentlessly punishing to reckless ones. Yet, after repeatedly making my way through the labyrinthine caverns that make up Below’s setting, I found myself reluctantly admitting that I was not having fun.

Can you spot the character? I swear I did not use Ancel to zoom out

Instead of coaxing me into that ‘just one more time’ stupor that is the privilege of this genre, the overall experience just made me yearn to put my controller down. The gameplay is fun, the aesthetics are brilliant, and the world begs to be explored. However, the game’s slow pacing combined with repetitive gameplay inevitably spilled over into monotony.

Stories around the campfire

From the opening mini-cinematic, Below shows that it embraces minimalism. The story, the environments, and the audio-visual style only reveal what is absolutely necessary, which means that it is up to the player to figure things out. It is actually a very effective way of getting your imagination deeply involved in the gameplay.

As a result, Below manages to be every bit as immersive as games that are far more elaborate in their execution. The game slowly opens with what at first glance appears to be a vast, starry sky until I realized that I was actually looking at an ocean. Once the camera started its slow, downward zoom, the white dot in the middle of the screen turned out to be a tiny ship sailing across the stormy waters. It was heading for an ominous-looking island.

The tiny ship eventually reached the shoreline, and an equally small figure with a sword and shield disembarked, waiting for me to take control. I guess I am a knight then? It is hard to tell because the game’s isometrically-angled camera is placed at a considerable distance. Even playing on a 30 inch screen (with my glasses on), I struggled to make out exactly what I am.

Furthermore, the game doesn’t provide an objective, dialogue or button prompts, and pulling up the ‘map’ button just displays a little circle attached to two lines. Throwing caution to the wind, I set off anyway and eventually reached a dead camp fire. Can I light it? Yes, and activating the blazing hearth opens two symbols.

Lighting the camp fire on the shore

One symbol is inactive for now, while the other opens an inventory of sorts with blank slots. Aha! I think I just found what must be my crafting roster. After leaving the fire I did indeed discover various foodstuffs, minerals and pieces of wood that can be combined into things like arrows, powders, or even caltrops.

I also stumbled upon other menus where I can swap between secondary weapons like a hammer or a bow, and another menu which indicates what keys or armor I am carrying. More exploring also yielded a lantern which uses little diamond shaped shards as fuel. When its beam is concentrated, the lantern can even open magical, rune-covered doors.

Let there be light – opening a door with the lantern.

So far, so good. The exploration was clearly rewarding, and the controls are snappy and intuitive. I think I am now ready to proceed through the huge door I just opened with my lantern to where the real game begins. What happens on the shore of the island is basically just to prepare the player for the depths that are to come.

Into the abyss

Whereas the island’s surface hosts a busy, hectic atmosphere that just makes you want to take cover, the underground, where 95% of the game takes place, is wholly different.  Down here, the game adopts a dark, quiet and foreboding tone. Exploring on land was nothing compared to how vulnerable and isolated I suddenly felt.

Perhaps my map now has an objective? Nope, but at least I know the circle or square represents a room, and the lines signify the routes connected to it. Saving my lantern for later, I pull out a torch and begin to wade cautiously through the foggy darkness. I appear to be in a cavern of some sort since I hear echoing drops of water trickling in the dark.

Never mind finding your way, where the hell is the character!?

When I saw the dark, shadowy figure scuttle toward me, I realized I was about to experience the game’s combat. It moves too fast to make out what is on the attack, but my sword is ready. I block with my shield and slash at the shadowy foe. It proves no match for my little explorer, and I stash away the lantern shard that the creature drops after it dies.

After searching the whole area, I proceed to the next, randomly-generated room to find more enemies for the picking, along with more loot to gather. I also make short work of this lot since I am really getting the hang of the engaging combat mechanics. Before I know it, a number 2 slowly appears at the top of the screen to inform me I have descended to the second level. Nice.

Sadly, the spell would be broken around level 3. Here I faced slightly larger versions of the shadow creatures, but using my explosive arrows ensured that they met the same fate as their lesser counterparts. It was also at this point that I began to hear a resonating bass note for the first time, and two symbols resembling a stomach and a drop of water pulsed in the upper corner of the screen.

Guess that means I am hungry and thirsty. No problem, since I have a steak stashed away, and there happens to be a drinking puddle to my left. After gaining some sustenance, I noticed a weird rock jutting out the ground and decided to inspect it. I got close… and WHAM!! I got killed instantly by what now revealed itself as a spike trap.

Don’t worry. This is a part of the level. I did not die this many times!

I was still sitting with my mouth agape when the next ship was already en route to the island. Only this time, the ruins of the ship on my first try was lying in the shallows, and the knight/hero looks a little different. I later found out I could even get most of my stuff from the corpse off the guy I just strolled face first into the spikes.

Hey, this is a rogue-lite. You have to ‘git gud.’ I said a word that starts with ‘f’ and rhymes with ‘luck’, and started over.

 Enjoy it while it lasts

It was round about here that I already started liking Below a bit less. It took quite some time to reach the spikes bit since this game’s style really encourages the player to explore and take their time. However, to do ALL of this again (especially without any immediate sense of danger) brought on the first feelings of boredom.

Now factor in how long it takes to get to, say, level 16 only to die of another inconspicuously placed trap and you can imagine why I said enough is enough. By the umpteenth time you pull up on that shore, it will become incrementally difficult to stay excited and engaged in the gameplay.

At least the repetitiveness is mitigated somewhat by ‘The Pocket’ which is an area accessible through a portal activated at the little camp fires. It acts like a bank in which you can permanently stash any kind of supply and it remains untouched upon your death.

You can also toss 25 gems into said camp fire turning the flames blue on the later levels. This then acts as a shortcut, so when your new little wanderer pulls up on shore, they can fast travel to this point and thus cutting out quite a bit of the (re)grind.

Most unfortunately, the developers thought it wise to only allow this once. If you happen to die after teleporting through the flames (without making a new shortcut), then you lose the checkpoint. This means you are stuck right at the beginning of the game with no supplies or gems, and your previous wanderer’s corpse might be 10 floors down along with the lantern.

See the little white skeleton? That was my previous attempt

Also, as a teenager my mother used to accuse me of eating her out of the house, but this little fellow would put even my pubescent metabolism to shame. I often lost substantial progress not due to deadly traps or enemies, but starvation. One of the most frequent sounds the player will hear is that ominous bass tone signifying thirst or that their tummy is rumbling.

Perhaps you are playing as a hobbit, which would explain why the character is so small and constantly getting peckish. Either way, if the player is caught without food, the only way to avoid death by lack of num-num is by means of tedious backtracking looking for mice, bats and snakes to kill. Is this anyone’s idea of a thrilling quest?

Sad but true

I can only tell myself so many times that this game is a rogue-lite and that I should learn from my mistakes. A game with a more laid-back pacing and insta-kill traps is simply not built for this kind of repetition. There are far better methods of creating a sense of challenge or danger that do not rely upon excessive farming for supplies, or replaying large portions of the levels.

What makes the state of Below so tragic is that it has such solid gameplay and aesthetics. Yes, you might be viewing the action from afar, but the withdrawn perspective of the camera really creates a sense that you are this tiny, exposed figure in an enormous space.

For the same reason, Below also boasts exquisite sound design. The deep, guttural background effect combined with realistic reverberation enhances a sense of depth for the in-game environments. The experience is a testimony to the fact that immersion is a product of atmosphere, and not necessarily the GPU-heavy special effects that AAA games so eagerly use.

Made it to the next level… again

I suspect that the developers wanted to combine the resource gathering of a survival game with the combat mechanics of a rogue-lite. As such, their game never really commits to either genre, and I feel like they have produced a game that has something of an identity crisis. What they have come up with feels too much like a house of cards – the whole structure just ends up crashing down due to a few small but crucial issues with the cards at the foundations.

I really hate to say this, especially since Below is an indie game, but I cannot recommend this one. The developers have stepped into the rookie trap of confusing the line between ‘challenging’ and ‘unfairly hard,’ which seems to happen one too many times nowadays. When placed next to other, more refined attempts with similar ambitions, Below just cannot hold up.

Great visual design

Enthralling audio design

Level design

Exploration

Pacing too slow

Single use shortcuts

Instant death traps

Periodic crashes

Survival mechanics

Lantern retrieval

Playtime: 37 hours total. To complete all 20 levels of the game

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using GTX 1070, i5 4690K, 16GB RAM – Played with Xbox One Controller

Below – Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/