#killer post- jw

[mansionfreaks]

Hey Jeff! How are you? Anyways, thoughts on snacks? What type of snacks do you like to eat?

dont have much of a sweet tooth. i like mild stuff.... dont have to think about it. have to like some sweets when ur gf drinks battery acid

[margareth-lv]

💉 Botox, dermal fillers and tristesse 💉

First of all, I want to make an important disclaimer.

There is not a shred of body shaming in what I am writing about in today's post. Nor is there any mockery of cosmetic surgery procedures.

I myself am a great admirer of facial treatments, effective wrinkle reduction and in not letting time take its toll.

In fact, I think (using my own example) that Botox is not a killer, and that it can beautifully smooth out features. And make you feel better. So - stop shaming women for having Botox.

But let's look at something else.

*** *** *** I think everything has been said about Caitríona Mary Balfe's infamous performance last weekend. So what I'd like to add is pretty much a reiteration of what you've already written about, Sisters in Arms… in Fandom…. But I just cannot help myself.

*** *** ***

The photos below are taken almost a year apart (left - Grilled by The Staff Canteen on 8 March 2023 in Glasgow, right - JW Anderson's catwalk show on 18 February 2024 in London).

Well, nobody gets younger over time (well, unless you're Dorian Grey or, even better, Benjamin Button). And it's not just a matter of good (or bad) lighting on your face. If your eyebrows are sagging, they're not going to lift themselves. Unless you have Botox in your temples. Then you get an effect like the one in the photo on the right.

I bet she also had a suture suspension facelift (also known as a thread lift). This improves the contour of the face.

So admiring Cait's undying beauty (which I don't question, she's really gorgeous!) must include the surgical factor. And there is no shame or disgust about it. *** *** *** Although the most important factor affecting Caitríon's face is obviously Sam. Even with the wrinkles around her eyes, doesn't she look younger when she's close to Sam?

(on the left, Glasgow, 29 April 2022)

And then there's the left, nervously squinted eye, an unmistakable sign that Mr McNobody is hovering nearby.

This eye is not the result of failed facial surgery. It's born out of the Hopeless Narrative, that seems to have no end. What a sad, tragic story this is. An unmitigated disaster.

[21 February, 2024]

[dangermousie]

Hello! I'm currently watching Flower of Evil after having treated myself to your posts about Beyond Evil and it makes the experience that much more enjoyable! I'm dying to know your opinion on Detective Choi. At first I found him funny with his cowboy cop ways. But now with the Yeonju murder case, it feels like we're seeing all the ugly sides of this "cowboy cop" persona. It feels more like he's conducting a witch hunt on Do Hyun Soo, utterly convinced of his guilt and of the fact that he's a murderer like his dad. It seems like everything else kind of takes the back seat compared to his hunt for DHS.

Woo, you are watching FoE!!!!!!

I am not sure how far in are you so I don't want to say too much and spoil you but ultimately I ended up being fine with him.

He's got an abrasive personality, is too set on his pet theories and goes too much by his gut feeling which leads him wrong on occasion (that is why JW is a good work partner to balance him out) but...ultimately...how shall I put it? He ends up rather on Ji Won and DHS' side.

I once joked that DHS' power is taking these inquisitive, suspicious, prejudiced men who start out thinking he's a killer and a freak and after spending some time with him go "he's just a maladjusted but oddly likeable dude I wanna help out" - he's two for two with Moo Jin and eventually this detective.

I don't think I would want to be buddies with Det. Choi and he's not a fave character but in the final run he ends up being OK.

[takerfoxx]

If there one thing from the original Jurassic Park book that didn't make the movie but I would really like to see in some form in the franchise, it's the underground raptor nest.

The raptors often get a bad rap in Jurassic Park media. Yes, the captive raptors in the first film and book were basically serial killers, and yes the raptors in the Lost World book had dino rabies, but the extent to which they're used as savage mooks is getting ridiculous. Sure, they're predators, but they're also highly social pack animals that form tightly-knit communities. That was one thing I did actually like about the third movie, and why I still have a soft spot for Blue, despite my dislike of the JW films.

But in the very first book, there's an entire community of wild raptors, one that's organized, nurturing, and mostly peaceful. You have juveniles and babies rolling around playing, adults keeping a close watch on them to keep them from getting too rowdy, a clear hierarchy, and one juvenile even bonds with Lex. It shows them for the living creatures that they actually are.

So it would be really swell if one of the post Trevorrow movies or one of the upcoming Chaos Theory seasons would give us that functioning raptor colony and NOT destroy it immediately after.

C'mon. I wanna see some raptor families.

[sanjisblackasswife]

Hi! I saw your post about katakuri and I was jw if there are any characters from op (or any series tbh) that you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

Sabo

Pell

Garp

Rayleigh

Paulie

Mihawk

Killer

Lucci

Dragon

Ben

once i draw them ill feel unstoppable cuz ik theyd look fine in my style

[katierosefun]

Hi, I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts that have been swirling in my head for a long time and resurfaced again after your recent post. First, I might have missed sth but I still don't quite understand Joo Won's initial cast iron certainty that Dong Sik was the killer. True, he was a suspect, but there was no conclusive proof, and yet JW treated him as if he’d been caught red-handed. This annoyed me no end, because a) JW was being so insensitive, and b) his approach was so last century!.

spoilers under cut/second part of ask:

Also, I found it a bit frustrating that in the end, Dong Sik had to go to prison even though his actions ultimately didn't cause any real harm, while Joo Won basically got off scot-free even though he was directly responsible for Lee Geum Hwa's death and might have contributed, to an extent, to the deaths of Chief Nam and Jung Cheol Mun. It just seems... kind of unfair. (Sorry, I just seem unable to bring myself to like Joo Won the way the vast majority of BE fans seem to do) (2/2)

before i answer the majority of your ask: so dong sik actually didn't go to prison. there was kind of an ambiguity to the translation on netflix and viki i think, but dong sik was given the opportunity to take one year of prison or two years of probation. dong sik actually took the two years of probation.

as for how it all seems unfair--that's exactly the point, i think! what i like about beyond evil is that it shows time and time again that joo won might want to get punished or demoted or whatever (which happens at the start of ep 9 i think), but because of the prominence of his family name and the way the police system is set up, he literally can't. (goes to show how messed up the police system is and all the underlying issues there.)

as for how joo won treated dong sik as though he was caught red-handed: we're def. supposed to dislike joo won in the first half of the show. he's proud and unhinged and even though he has his own set of morals, he's still insanely flawed. (and also, we have to remember again: he's a part of the police system. if we go back to the flashbacks, we'll find that chief nam def partook in some . . . unpleasant police practices, and dong sik tells chief nam that even back then, he was considered one of the good ones, despite the fact dong sik was literally beat up as a twenty year old under police custody. again: chief nam was considered one of the good ones back then.)

i think it's fine for you to have your own opinions about joo won/not quite like him as much as other beyond evil fans (half the fun of fandom is that everyone has their own headcanons and interpretations of the character)--but i know that i personally love the flaws, and i think that's what makes his character arc that much more compelling, because it makes his whole "i'll go to hell" bit so much more damning for him. (you can see the legit moment of grief/anger/sadness/shame when he realizes that his family's ruined dong sik's entire life--and thus, joo won does everything in his power to make sure that dong sik doesn't suffer again, ie. going to jung cheol mun's place in case dong sik gets framed, the whole confrontation with han ki hwan, etc, etc . . .)

oh, and the last bit about joo won being dead-set on dong sik being the killer: first of all, all those news articles about dong sik being the main suspect of the deaths of bang ju seon and the disappearance of lee yu yeon are probably still public record (i mean, look at how dong sik himself has articles up on his wall, which mirrors how joo won has his own wall of crazy regarding the case). part of it is def. the instinct that the first murder suspect is always the "right" one (which is wrong, ofc, but again: messed up police system, messed up line of thinking, psychology, etc).

another part of joo won's suspicion that dong sik was the killer was, i think, actually tied to how he had geum hwa text him something, right? and i think geum hwa texted him something about police officer--i think it was revealed later that geum hwa meant to text that it wasn't a police officer, but of course, joo won never got that clarified, and by the time the message was in joo won's hands, geum hwa was being/about to be killed. so of course, joo won's research about dong sik's involvement in the case plus misunderstanding geum hwa's text message about the culprit having to do with the police = dong sik! (in joo won's convoluted way of thinking.)

and gosh, now i'm getting very detailed into this (you can tell how hard i'm procrastinating my final assignments), but another element as to why joo won kept suspecting dong sik (at least through eps 2 - 6.5 or so) was in part because dong sik was trying to make sure that no one caught jin mook right away. because ofc, as we noted in episode 2 or so--in korea, you can't convict a killer if you don't find the body. dong sik didn't know where kang min jeong's body was, so even if the police caught jin mook and had all the evidence, they wouldn't actually be able to convict him because they didn't know where he put her body. dong sik was waiting out/planning things so that he can finally find min jeong's body and then spring the trap--but in order to do so, he needed time, and with an unhinged inspector like han joo won sniffing around, he needed to be even more careful about his steps. dong sik was definitely . . . going through it in those episodes (probably half-mad with grief, half-mad with the sick understanding that the person he considered his brother/co-parent as the one who fucked up his life, half-mad with the losses he already has suffered through), and so he was . . . pretty self-destructive in that he was basically waving a big red flag at joo won going follow me, follow me.

so ofc, at least in those episodes, joo won definitely followed. he didn't suspect jin mook because dong sik needed jin mook to remain unsuspected for now. ofc, joo won also . . . just had to be Like That because he's mr. "i'm always on the right track, i'm super smart" in those episodes. (ha.)

all a roundabout way of saying: you're totally entitled to your own opinion, anon! just figured i should clear up some misunderstandings (ie. dong sik being on probation) and maybe give my own two cents (which must have been why you sent this aska ldsfadsf).

[tciddaemina]

the grand list of fics i have sitting in my wips

planned but not yet touched

- GoT, witch!sansa decides while she's at the red keep to get retribution and slowly drive joffery insane via magic psychological gaslighting, before murdering him

- GoT, tormund/jon smut follow up sequel to duty given chance, detailing how they end up eventually having a child of jon’s blood

- MZDS, LZ/WY, in which a-yuan dies in the siege at the burial mounds and lan zhan doesn't survive the grief, killing himself and eventually becoming a devastation level ghost, now with spicy new sad times in which WY wakes up 13 years later to realize LZ is dead

- Naruto, rock lee/gaara story in which gaara visits lee in hospital following the exams and tries to kill him again, only to get a crush on him instead

- NiF, yan yujin/mu nihuang, in which nihuang realizes she can't keep putting off her marriage and instead decides to chose someone who will let her keep being master of her house instead, approaching yujin with a deal. probably gonna be poly YY/MN/jingrui

- OP, law/luffy soulmates fic, in which soulmates swap bodies. covering ASL and law's childhood from a young age, then focusing heavily on the marineford arc

- ? Solo Levelling, mayyyybeeee a jin-woo/jin-chul in which the process of the double dungeon causes jw to loose all empathy and most human emotion and he starts casually using jc as a measuring stick for emotions and morality instead

- 2HA, mo ran/chu wanning god!au fic, in which cw is a god of justice who takes mr under his wing, and intercedes dramatically when the results of the evil heart flower end up with mr being put on trial

- Heaven Officials Blessing, xl/hc canon divergence, in which xl does a favor for a ghost and ends up in the ghost city much much earlier

- FF7, sephiroth/cloud, time travel AU in which cloud is send back in time, barely remembers any of it, and ends up as a semi-amnesiac serial killer? assassin? bouncer/dancing girl at the honeybee inn

- FF7, sephiroth/cloud, also a time travel AU, but this time sephiroth POV, in which be goes back in time, is un-mad-ified, and decides to take everything in hand by killing jenova and staging a coup, all while keeping an obsessive eye on cloud

- Bleach, ichigo/kisuke, elden ring AU in which ichigo is a tarnished and kisuke is the creepy undead finger maiden meant to lead him to his doom

- Zelda/Star Wars, the Gerudo and Mandalorian crossover series consisting solely of a series of comical hookups and also Din Darjin trying to beat the Gerudo away with a stick wondering why women keep appearing to challenge him to fights

- DCU/Star Wars, in which a semi eldritch and very fed up Jason finds himself in the seedy underbelly of Coruscant with the voice of the sentient spirit of Gotham in his head giving him helpful advice

-Stranger Things, Steve/Billy time travel AU, in which Steve wakes up post series about two days after Will has gone missing and barb has disappeared, and immediately has a panic attack

-RDR2, Charles/Arthur, wingfic in which Arthur has enormous russet wings and is terrible at taking care of them, curing Charles intervention

in the works

- MZDS, LZ/WY, loosely inspired by jane austen’s persuasion, in which WY seals the burial mounds for thirteen years and sends LZ away, forced to break his heart in order to do so  ✔ thirteen years the fog

- Naruto/Mushishi crossover, kakashi/ginko, in which the sharingan is a mushi that reacts very badly to the uchiha massacre and kakashi ends up having to play detective

- Hannibal/Soul Eater fusion series, hannigram, with meister!hannibal and weapon!will, a prequel to my little old one shot on the subject, covering their first meeting, partnership, and the betrayal  ✔ second symphony  ✔ notes unheard

- OP, kakaturi/sanji sequel to three past the hour, in which the two have their next meeting following the events of the story, now with sanji actually getting the d  ✔ increments

- OP, shanks &/ buggy demon au, next in the hell or highwater series, with demon!buggy and shank's childhood being raised by gol, eventually ending with sequels in which they are ?? sort of lovers, sort of best friends, sort of brothers. big thy'la energy.

- OP/Naruto, all the rest of the log pose? series, featuring Nami pulling a grand heist in konoha, sanji in ame accidentally rewriting akatsuki’s MO, luffy causing no end of trouble in sand, and zoro finally seducing a little over half of the seven swordsmen of the mist  ✔ tax non-deductible  ✔ no hunger but the cold ✔ three things not to do in the desert

- Solo Leveling, igris/jin-woo, the canon retelling from sentient suit of armor igris’ pov, now with smutty and absolutely tooth rotting fluff sequels ✔ twin moons  ✔ so soft, sleeping and weary  

- Death Stranding, sam porter/cliff unger, au in which cliff is bb lou’s father (and distinctly not sam’s)  ✔ chapter 10

- star trek, spirk, with spock coming to the realization he is in love with kirk and going through the logical steps of contemplation on the matter, before booking a meeting to tell the captain as much  ✔ due consideration

- Horizon Zero Dawn, aloy/nil, canon divergence in which the two hook up during their bandit hunting days, with more exploration of miridian worldbuilding and politics  ✔ people like us

- Megalo Box, junkdog/yuri, canoncon divergence/following, a Jundog character piece following his POV of the series

- Itaewon Class, saeroyi/jang guen-won, high school days canon divergence, in which Saeroyi doesn't get expelled, and their relationship develops antagonistically from there

- BEASTARs, legosi/louis canon divergence, in which legosi ends up being louis' blackmail minion slash fuck buddy

- Banana Fish, ash/eiji, a fix it sequel in which ash doesn't die, and the two instead move to japan, covering the aftereffects of leaving a life of trauma and violence, and the struggle of readapting to everyday life ✔ the sun also rises

- Hollow Knight, quirrel & the knight, soft vibes friendship worldbuilding fic exploring their adventures and meetings in hallownest  ✔ chapter 5

unexpected bastards who shoved their way in and demanded to be written

- OP, law/luffy, a Nika!Luffy sun god au, set starting in flevance with feral!kid!law, with one more sequel needed covering luffy’s reawakening of the gomu-gomu in wano   ✔ no gods  ✔ swords and knives and guns and bullets  ✔ stand beneath the sun ✔ until then  ✔ that golden dawn

- OFMD, blackbonned daemon au, in which stede’s daemon both is and isn’t what everyone expects  ✔ it’s what isn’t in the name

[coffeeteaitsallfine]

Hey can you explain why the cabbie and the woman in pink are john mirrors ? I can vaguely see why but I'm not really sure... thanks !

Well the most obvious one is the woman in pink.

Her name is Jennifer Wilson. She has a still born daughter named Rachel. She has a bad marriage and is having an affair. She is clever and left a Note to lead us to her killer (metaphorical the other John mirror). She’s the fourth suicide-murder victim. Something’s different this time because she left a Note when others didn’t = Series 4. If you’re confused by the Note, see my pinned post. Something else that’s helpful to note imo is that JW was found in a room at the top of the stairs. In HLV, we see these stairs referenced three times 1) at the drug den there’s stairs with a white railing with a heart in it lol 2) we see see sherlock running upstairs briefly when he goes to confront magnussen and more obviously 3) when sherlock is fighting to come back to life he gets the will to do so in order to save John from Mary/his own death and does so by climbing the exact same stairs in a study in pink. JW is at the top of those stairs!

John as the cabbie, because he needs money, he’s dying, and is going to kill someone (himself). There’s also something to be said about the cabbie as the driver in the car which is an important motif that I will be explaining further in my upcoming meta :)

[agro-carnist]

I blocked that person with the eugenics post but I looked through their blog and... they're super hypocritical considering they don't want to get rid of a pair of shoes with animal products due to it being "expensive" and enjoy lots of nascar, but they'll make comments about turning amish into vegans (of all the things to think about with the amish 😒), or hijacking posts with a/tiv/gan and using the term s/jw a lot, and how they hate a "favorite" racer for being an "animal killer" on top of other things 😬 It baffles me how these people exist and think they're good people

[fanishjuli]

WIP Tag Game!

Post the name of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you like.

noone tagged me, I stole it from @marlinspirkhall, but I just really wanted to do this.

I'm only including the WIPs I have individual documents with more than like A Paragraph, and also I'm not including any of my original works/poetry, just the fandom stuff. (also yeah I know I have a lot of wips, and I ahvent opened like half in over a year, what of it?)

tony tries to be a dad

john watson talk nice to me babey

visiting a la cuñada in Iowa - roadtrip!!

SH has a breakdown but it's the morning after

kidnapped Lestrade

wiki how to awkwardly propose a threesome except only the two of them fuck

never have I ever

5+1 John carries Sherlock

sherlock is a Good Dad (outsider pov)

not friends2.0 (redux)

5+1 defending eachother

the one with the OC I really project into

pride was two months ago oops

the permanent marker killer

the one w the other OC I project into (adult)

Naming it, naming us

Mike Stanford ily

Spock adopts a Klingon kid and it's Amanda's fault rip

sherlock wedding angst

how Holmes came to love bees

I'm mad about homophobia and Venting

jw finds sh old love poems

retirement & pretty hats

that awkward moment when your kid asks your bf if he's gay

ham reincarnation au

OMS gives a lecture and come uot

Carte Blanche never have I ever

Loki dies a lot and befriends Hela

I'm tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do this, honestly. consider yourself tagged.

[harpersplay]

Back in the BtVS days, fans of Spike were really disliked. Especially by Xander fans who thought that once Angel was gone, the long suffering Nice Guy™️ would get his shot at Buffy (gross and ick!). And the people that were against Spike fans often used the justification that people only liked the character because he was hot and that his popularity with fangirls was ruining the show (fandom is literally a flat circle). The added drama was that many of the producers—including JW—frequently posted on a fan board. One producer told a fan that Spike fans hoping for redemption (this was pre-souling) were like women who wrote love letters and marriage proposals to serial killers in prison. I know, shocking that someone who worked in a Whedon writing room would talk like that. /s Anyway, this gave the people who were already bothering Spike fans major ammunition and Spike fans began to retreat to smaller boards and groups. One main Spike fansite didn’t “fight back.” Instead they organised a blood drive in honor of Spike and James Marsters. Fans from all over the world went to their local blood donation centres and did something that, quite literally, saved the lives of people they would never know or meet. I think that was pretty fucking cool and the definition of positivity.

A few years later, an always low-rated television show by the name of Veronica Mars was on the air. The creator and producers got way too chummy with fans, especially on one specfic site. There were actual firsthand accounts of behind-the-scenes drama that show stans dismissed as lies from “haters.” A popular male character was also blamed for the network firing another actor and his fans were called horny fangirls who ruined the fandom (flat motherfucking circle). Stans of the show raised thousands of dollars to fly a plane over the CW offices with a banner urging the renewal of the show. They also sent bouquets and gift baskets to influential people. I think that was pretty fucking pathetic and the definition of self-centeredness.

(Because I am always fair, I want to point out that VM fans also sent libraries across the country DVDs of the show to add to their collection. And you know I love libraries. So this was a decent thing to do. But it was still about proselytizing about the show so that more people would watch and ratings would go up and not actually about helping people. Because if you wanted to help, you’d ask the library how to best do that.)

I just think fandom is interesting sometimes. And, maybe I’m a big ol’ commie, but if your community only exists to enhance yourselves and your wants it’s not a community, it’s a corporation. (I know, I know, corporations are people. God Bless America!)

[mansionfreaks]

Jeff, I wanted to ask, how tall are you? Can you take good photos/selfies? Just wondering-

i am 5'8". and i cannot. take good photos

[d0cthunder]

I miss that post that says I wish I was stupid y'all seem so happy.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so skeptical.

(All the time I wish I wasn't raised by jws.)

Sometimes I think people that can fully adopt the ideas they were raised with as their own seem happier than I am.

Sometimes It really sucks not to be able to lose yourself in anything, to be aware of what's wrong with everything. It's exhausting.

Sometimes I want to run head long into something irrational and not be aware of the consequences or how wrong I am for believing whole heartedly that the thing is good and perfect.

At the sametime, people who do that are what I would consider immoral. They advocate for nonsense like these little bitches that swear catholics are being opressed or whatever the fuck. Maybe I would hate myself even more if I were like that. Or more likely I wouldn't be aware of my own idiocy, but what're you gonna do? I'm stuck knowing, seeing, and being a miserable son of a- really nice lady. I can't stand people. I'm sorry. I know how that sounds. It's just that people make me anxious. They make loud noises. They crowd entire aisles at the store. They are not courteous. Ugh and the children. I know children are not at fault for the things their parents allow them to do, but kids stress me the fuck out. They run around all over the place. They touch everything and everyone. I was raised to believe that I'm supposed to be a good example and be kind to kids, the whole it takes a village to raise a child thing. But these days I'm unwilling. You're the one that chose to pop one out, you take responsibility for it. Don't allow the child to invade my personal space. Don't allow the child to get in my way. I have anxiety the kind that results in many panic attacks. So when your child runs into my path at walmart and fucking knocks into me, that results in a panic attack. I wish I could transfer my fear and frustration telepathically into the parents. Why do I have to suffer the mental and emotional exhaustion of dealing with your child? I didn't chose that life. You did. I am more than willing to pay higher taxes to keep the kids in school, fed, healthy etc. I will throw as much money at those problems as I can afford to. Just steer clear of me. That's all I want in return. For you to keep your child in check. For you to keep them quiet and courteous so that I can peacefully go into walmart, grab my tooth paste, pay for it, and leave.

This wasn't meant to be a rant about children btw ,but they happen to be one of the many obstacles I face in everyday life.

children and adults. (So all people except the elderly I guess.) Loud noises, Being touched when I'm not expecting to be, Making decisions(It doesn't matter how big or small.) Being looked at or stared at, Talking to people I don't already know.

I find it all very stressful.

If someone asks me something at a store, and a child starts crying in the store, and someone bumps into me accidentally. That is my hell. I will have a panic attack.

I don't know how I do it. I don't know how I go about my life like this. Other than being heavily medicated.

I have become an awful human.

As I have said, I can't stand people.

That makes it really hard to be nice.

If you are causing me anxiety how am I supposed to smile back at you??

I have 2 friends. This post makes it very obvious why that is.

I don't want to go anywhere.

I don't want to do anything.

I just want to be alone.

I feel awful for feeling this way.

I feel guilty.

The religion I was raised in makes it really easy to feel guilty about everything.

Do other people (who are not serial killers) feel the way I feel? or is it just me?

[deliriumsdelight7]

Hey guys!  Now that I’m working on non-gift fics, I’m free to share snippets again!

Those of you following me will notice that I’ve posted two chapters of Jupiter’s Waters, my Heavy Rain/serial killer AU.  Welp, I’m working on another, because I’m still stuck in FFA.  I’m allllmost ready to start the next scene of that, but not quite.  So in the meantime, you get more JW.

The smile he offered to David in greeting was dull, lifeless, and didn’t reach his eyes.  “Welcome.  Is there anything I can help you find today?”

“I hope so,” David replied, leaning his elbows on the counter.  On the other side, Michael did the same.  “My name’s David Nolan.  I’m a private investigator looking into the case of the Origami Killer.”  What little warmth there was in the other man’s face, feigned though it was, dropped immediately.  “I’d like to ask you a few questions, if you’ve got some time.”

[will-i-everape-my-despair]

my life

okay where to begin  when i was young or when i wasnt?

alright ill start from the beggining 

it wasnt a great life

well not ideal anyways 

when i was born i almost died, my mother was diagnosed with post natal depression in spain, yeah i was born there ....when having to move to australia because spain isnt good with that sorta support .......my dad said he would come 

he lied

he cheated on my mother and decided to marry someone else, meanwhile my mother braught her one and only daughter with her, me 

i loved my mother because everyone else didnt like me , or atleast because of my mental contition they thaught i wasnt worth anything , i became dependent , and knew a world where you wernt huged nor kissed often, you had to grow up fast or youll be left behind .....mum helped of course but .....idk i wasnt an easy child to take care of , i didnt understand most things like love, respect ect i.....i dint understand emotions , she had to teach me to emote and to sleep, at least thats what she said 

when i first moved it was an expierience but , from then on my scheduales got stricter and my mother would get violent for no reason i thaught , i didnt uunderstand why she got so mad , i wasnt the best child but i never knew why

she hit me pulled my hair blackmailed me berated me ABUSED me 

and yet 

i still loved her , because when all you are taught was despair .......how can you see it as bad?,

expecialy when the world was against you 

======

i moved schools , into a new area  it was fun....i was scared at first ....and it was also my first taste of hope  i prefferred school over home  why? well....my family aint the best  i was often the scapegoat for my cousins actions , which just made the family hate us more ......except my grandparents  i was either sheltered , or mum just didnt have time to teach me idk  but my aunties not my mother would take care of me....when i was very very sick .....mum had to work 

from here it gets fuzzy 

i only remember a few things , when i was sick being forced to go to school, we never celebrated halloween like ever , i didnt do my homework because i would weasel out of it , and for the longest time i felt well.....sick .....inside or outside no idea i thaught is was depression, mum asked me why i feel like that and said then i dont have it 

====

we moved again 

more like we got kicked out 

and then

from there

mum only got

WORSE

we moved into someone named tonys house .....he was....to put it simply, a piece of shit , how mum fell in love is BEYOND me  he....liked to make mum mad....and sick her on me by running out of the house  from here ........i developed insomnia , my pillow was more full of tears than dreams , and tbh i had horrible nightmares , when i told mum she didnt look concerned.....well her eyes never showed it not that i knew ......i was .....always medicated but .......this was new i felt 

lost broken void emotionless empty expecialy after my cousin made me his little prostitute

still i was expected to work, my hair that used to shine like gold in the sun....lost all of it and my hair started turning white , i have more grey hairs than the average teen my sparkle was long gone....and i hid myself in the world of my mind and technology, eye baggs were visible and i dint do anything heh kinda like now.....i went to tutoring....i avoided work like the plauge  around this time however mum told me about her old faith....Jehovas Witness  i was sure why not  i at first ....it seemed so lovely  and i actively participated at this point i was in high school ... the family was in conflict...and school wasnt much better  then came....the dreaded ......scrunchie incident did i mention i was never left alone at home? because i was in highschool and still going to day care well i made friends in this little toddlers day care and well...i was invited to a party.....i just had a shower and lost the scrunchie i always wore and still do wear mum became enraged pulling my ears my hair making me hyperventilate ...i might of died no idea thank god abuello saved me  after a while of tonys bs, and becoming completely dead inside i....we moved again  i was still a JW but then......i became less trustfull of anything and anyone ....i looked at it .....and saw how condtradictory it was  i saw how bad the school system really was .....the more i searched on the net the more i learnt .....and the more i learnt the more i knew...

something was WRONG 

then last year in yr 10 maths......is the devil...expecaily the advanced stuff ....lets just say school wasnt safe anymore and math class made me pass out due to stress mum would hit me over homework, or throw my books in fits of rage then told me its YOUR FAULT i do this , YOUR FAULT that im breaking jehovas laws! and i actualy faught back after she nearly bashed my head in ..........i .....the iron my grandma died two years ago

english class wasnt too bad, but this one asssignment mum re wrote the whole thing ..........because “it didnt make sense “  i told her to shove it and not to be infolved in my work anymore

 i hate school the***pists ......i was overwhelmed......and at the end of the year i ......broke.....BAD....i told all my fellow classmates everything i had experienced........................to come home.....get called by my mother......and get yelled at .....over the phone.....for telling the truth......not because she was scared for me.....but because of her reputation.....she yelled at me and berated me.....i was still breaking and in a flash a thaught  one single thing “would anyone care if i died?” “if i died would mum be happy and free from me” “maybe i should go im a waste”  

i grabbed a knife  held it to my chest and couldnt do it  i thaught of my family, my friends and how they might feel

only to get berating texts and yelled at by my auntie  

then......yr 11 poped up  and the acedemic sprang into place  ....mum and i ......dont ....arent.....we arent compatible i found out after this  it was online work....my ADHD ass couldnt DO that....and what was worse my alters made themselves KNOWN ha  ha hahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA killer kit my mother with a bottle and she whined of how i could of killed her....i distrusted him after that  i cried in the kitchen...laughing like a phycho  ... .................. ............................ and they were very distracting towards my work....which is what CAUSED that in the first place  term 2  well i found a friend group on line  they are angles  really they are 

tbh before yr 11 i was a bit better  but now i had well ALOT of appointments that i dint want  that didnt help  and the kids ......liked making me scared  term three is now  my grandpa died i finnaly cut myself off the JW  i told mum how i felt , the truth like she WANTED  she told me im spinning things that im abusive that shes a servant  i know i dont do much.....but my boddy is broken....i dont have motivation  and this place keeps me sane  and  alive one more year in the chambers of despair  and when that year is up the frail angel that lost her wings will be given the power  to soar to hope once again 

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Persephone | John Wick x Reader (One)

Words: 2262

A/N: Just an idea that popped in my head at three am. What is sleep haha. I might post a few oneshots that are related to this one, not sure if I want to make it into a proper series, given the other wips I have. Depends on how I feel, I guess. Let me know what you guys think.

Warning: Usual JW-verse violence, reader is also an assassin

-

Now teamed up with the Bowery King to take down the High Table, John Wick still needed allies that were willing to risk their lives to help their mission. There weren’t many that would want to oppose the High Table, so their options were limited. John took the time to heal up while they planned High Table’s downfall, using the Bowery King’s people to scout for other assassins.

“There is another option,” the Bowery King said, leaning back in his chair.

John took a swig of bourbon and raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

“Persephone,” he grinned. John recognized that name, not just from the Greek mythology, but of the assassin that nickname belonged to. The Bowery King continued, “I’ve heard she’s in a tough situation right now, though. Wanna know why one of the most deadliest assassins in the world have been out of business this whole time?”

“I assume you’re going to tell me anyways,” John said, his pitbull having jumped on his lap.

“A puppet is useless when it realizes they no longer needs strings to move. She started asking questions and knowing what they’ve created, her people… restrained her. She’s constantly being monitored, none of my people had seen her alone. It seems that she’s lost her memory.” The Bowery King shook his head at the woman’s situation.

“Why not kill her?”

“They’ll probably want to use her again. It’d be a waste to throw away the skills they gave her. All they can do is have her forget she even has them until the time came to utilize her, have her dependent on those strings again.” He tilted his head and looked at John. “And you’re gonna have to be the one to cut those strings for her, John Wick.”

-

You could vaguely remember your family. At that point, you couldn’t even remember their faces, only the feeling that they gave you; warmth, love, comfort. You were raised along with other kids to be killers. With a cutthroat regime that mirrored ballet, the Instructor, a former student of The Director, would continuously run drills and eliminate those who couldn’t keep up.

You were one of the few that made it and it wasn’t simply through determination or strong work ethic. You were scared. No one knew what happened to those kids that were eliminated, maybe it was literal, but you didn’t want to find out. It was surviving through fear, until you were strong enough to overcome it. If they killed you, fine. If they didn’t, then what?

Execute the mission, no mistakes. Like a ballet recital.

The missions and the training were the only life you knew. The targets you were assigned to were only pieces to a massive puzzle to the world that you were raised in. Eventually, you had enough to make out an image. The Underworld where highly trained assassins were everywhere. There was a system, strict rules to follow.

You were familiar with the Continental, the hotel you and many others used while working, and the coins used to gain access to the serves that the Underworld provided. You eventually became familiar with the other faces at the Continental and around you.

One in particular stood out. The Boogeyman. The man, the myth, the legend. You ran into him a few times when he was still active, a tall man with a calm demeanor. It was like standing next to an ocean around him. Many respected him and even feared him due to his reputation of being Death himself. You couldn’t imagine the Underworld without John Wick.

Until he got out.

The night of his impossible task was the same night you made a difficult decision. For a long time, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to escape the hands of the Instructor until you were skilled enough to overpower her, so you waited.

Using your resources, you found out what happened to your family. They owed a debt to the Instructor and they paid it off with their daughter. If it had stopped there, you could move on, but it didn’t. The Instructor had them killed anyways, using the trainers and a few of the older trainees to do the job. They knew and they kept it from you.

Life under the Instructor was all you knew and you could continue as if you never knew your family’s demise or you could release yourself from her hold and make sure it never happens to anyone else.

John Wick stormed through the building looking for the Instructor, but there were already bodies scattered around the place, either unconscious or dead with their throats sliced open. You tried to avoid using loud weapons, preferring stealth so as to not alert everyone at once and especially the Instructor. Although it would have been considered sloppy to leave unconscious bodies on your part, you had no quarrel with everyone under the Instructor, only the ones ordered to kill your family. Besides, you knew of the ones that were reluctant to follow orders and killed off those who followed without question.

There was a trainer that you had been close with and took you under her wing. She’d push you to train harder and had faith that once you think you’ve reached your full potential, you could push even higher. And all that time, she hid that secret about your family. She was the leader of that mission, after all.

You saved her for last. It wasn’t as satisfying as you thought it would be. She knew the day was going to come when you find out and she was ready for it. With the blade she gave you for your initiation, you fought her until you had her pinned down, running the blade through her throat. She choked on her own blood, a smile on her face. A shiver would have ran down your spine you hadn’t known how much of a relief it might have been for her. Maybe she wanted out, too.

The door slammed open and the Boogeyman appeared, his gun raised. You stood up slowly, your hands in the air with your blade on the floor. He kept the barrel trained on you and you were glad he hadn’t shot on sight. It would have been over quickly, but you wanted to be the one to turn the Instructor in.

“The Instructor should be holding up in her office, fourth floor,” you said, slowly taking a golden coin from your pocket and holding it out to him,“just let me go. My other targets weren’t home. I need to go get them.”

He seemed to mull it over in his head and ultimately lowered his gun. He held out a hand as you tossed the coin to him. John nodded a thanks towards you and headed over to the fourth floor.

That was the last time you saw John Wick. Unfortunately, the others were ready and so was the Instructor. Her last mission was to wipe you clean, drug you until you can’t remember a thing. And while John Wick was able to finish his impossible task, the Instructor’s remaining people were able to finish their mission as well.

-

It was hard to believe that the young woman that he saw take down assassins from her former home was running a flower shop. Then again, he did the impossible and got out of the Underworld until he was forced back in again.

There was always another worker with you, even on your lunch breaks. Whoever took over for the Instructor was placing a tight hold on you.

John waited until the last customer walked out, five minutes before closing. He walked towards the shop and slipped in before the door closed. You were busy sorting out inventory to notice his presence, your coworker hovering close by you.

Ever since you woke up in a strange bedroom with people you didn’t recognize, they told you that you were in an accident and they were your found family after you ran away from home. In fact, the flower shop was theirs but they gave it to you to run. You were thankful that they took care of you while you recovered, but you would appreciate it if they gave you some space to figure yourself out alone. You haven’t even bothered telling them your strange dreams, either. They were cold and violent and worst of all, you were the one holding the blade.

“Mari, can you double check the boxes we have in the back so we could update the inventory list?” you asked your coworker. She pursed her lips then nodded, grabbing another clipboard with a copy of the list and headed towards the storage.

You breathed out a sigh of relief, already feeling lighter once she left the room. You walked to the front to close up when you jumped, seeing a tall man in a suit waiting.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear the door,” you told him, putting your clipboard down and walking towards the counter, “Can I help you?”

Upon closer inspection, the man’s brown eyes seemed tired but alert, his long black hair just above his shoulders. He was quite handsome that you could barely look him in the eye, and surely a man like that would have already been taken.

The corner of his lips turned up slightly. “I was looking for you, actually,” he said smoothly, pulling out an object from his suit jacket.

You watched him cautiously, inching closer to the counter where Marion kept the small handgun. You didn’t like to use guns, you didn’t like the sight of them for some reason, but Marion insisted on keeping one at the store.

He took out a golden coin and held it out. You grabbed it from his large hand and inspected it, the engraving feeling strangely familiar to you under your finger pads.

“Do it!” a voice hissed in your head, the image of a woman choking on blood, the strong iron stench hitting your nose and soaking into your hand that held some kind of dagger.

You dropped the coin, backing away from the man. “Who are you?” you demanded.

He held out his hands. “My name is John Wick,” he said, “And I’m here to help you, Persephone.”

“Persephone…”

“Persephone, again!” an older woman shouted. She stood in front of a wall of mirrors with her hands on her hips, staring down at you, your feet aching and sweat pouring down your face. “Get up!”

“You’re asking to be killed, Mr. Wick,” Marion spat, suddenly at your side with a gun in her hand. “There’s a heavy price for your head, it’d be a shame to have been hidden from the High Table for so long, only to be killed in a flower shop.”

“Mari, what are you doing?” you asked, shocked that she knew the man.

“I always knew the Instructor favored you, but to have kept you alive and have us babysit you even after she’s dead was too much.”

Marion gripped your forearm, nails digging into your skin. You gasped, a strong sense of betrayal taking over you as the flight or fight response kicked in. She had never treated you this way before and it didn’t take much to understand that something was wrong. More flashes of your past flew through your mind, particularly when Marion mentioned the Instructor.

Your hands shot out, twisting her arm and knocked the gun out of her hand. She stumbled on the crates on the floor, your surprise attack leaving her stunned. You used her momentary imbalance to grab her hair from the roots and slammed her forehead against the counter, knocking her unconscious. You dropped her and stepped back, your hands shaking as you start to sweat.

“What did I do, what did I do,” you began to mumble over and over.

John gave you a moment, locking the front door and flipping the sign, moving around you to turn the front lights off. You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, gripping the counter for support as the headache and nausea start to settle. John picked up the coin and carried Marion’s body to the back office then got a cup of water from the small breakroom. He set the paper cup in front of you and took the time to scan the area, pulling the blinds down. 

When you came to, you took a sip of water and shuffled yourself over to where John stood, your eyes stinging from the tears that didn’t seem to stop. You sniffed, quickly wiping them away, your head still sore from the occasional flash of an old memory in your head. Your phone had been buzzing during that time, several missed calls from your so-called family. You turned off your phone and stuffed it back in your pocket.

“Thank you,” your voice cracked as you spoke to him, “but why?”

John sighed, silently assessing your current state. “I need your help, but first, we need to leave. They’ll be coming after us soon.”

He held out a hand for you to take, letting you make the choice to go with him. You may not have all of your memories back, you recognized him enough to know that going with him would mean gaining your independence and actually finding out who you were. You grabbed his hand and he lead you through the back entrance and through the streets, all the way down below the city, back to the Bowery King.

You were back in the Underworld, but at least you were not alone.