#killed because she just doesnt fucking care and i cant DO anything about it i cant keep them safe on my own
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electricpurrs · 1 year ago
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i life is fucking falling apart out of nowhere and i dont know what to do sbout it
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n3onwraith · 4 months ago
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I'll kms if we move actually.
#i hate change and we havent even been in this house for a year. that will be our 13th house#i cant be that far from my mom theyre tlaking about states away and month and month you just got week and week we just moved into this house#ill lose my fucking mind if one mlre thing changes. the schedule is already always off and closer to week and a half to half because my dad#gets us extra and it makes me think my mom doesnt want us but i know she does but still. ill die.#i will actually not survive that big of a change i dont care. i know he means well and its to leave something when they die but#there wont be anything to leave if the stress kills me first.#and for all the oreaching about living life instead of stressing out for 70 years this is only gonna make stress that isnt there#or is at least weaker right now#and theyre talking about living in a national forest and running a campsite and trail hike and all this and that but#were fine right now! its stressful yeah but were alive and not super stressed and thsres no anxiety and can er stay in one house for longer#thab a fucking year! this is alreayd house 14 or 9/10 if we only count my dads houses! ill die! stop! settle down for once!!#and they dont even ask if its okay with everyone! and when they do they frame it as if theyre assholes if we say we dont want to move!#but i dont want to move! i may not have any friends#but my whole life is here! i want to graduate from my highschool and live close to both my parents without them being across the country!#stop!!!#anyways#im so sorry i just#i cant?
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megabuild · 5 months ago
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im sorry scott but bdubs would NOT want to terminate that child, he WANTS the child, etho on the other hand,
do you think bdubs is prolife
so bdubs is weird because hes a feminist #women but he is also lowkey minecraft catholic and has some weird traditional views so yes i think he was prolife outside of very serious cases he just doesnt talk about it because once he made some comment about life starting at conception and cleo laughed in his face, brutally, which is the number one way to make bdubs shut up about anything, so he keeps going about his life with these views but like now sort of buried deep and weird about it but it doesn't matter because like he's gay and so it's never going to be an issue for him or so he thinks until he gets boypreggers because xisuma fucked the code because everyone on the server was being too fucking gay and careful and the matchups meant no one was getting pregnant and he NEEDS a personal anecdote to cite in his next rant video on why we should listen to people who try to firebomb fertility clinics, so anyway yeah bdubs is boypreggers and frankly he probably would want to keep this if it weren't for the fact its ethos because etho is a freak, etho is not even human, etho would be the worst absent mother and wouldnt even be absent, she has like 3 robot kids but a real sentient thing with flesh is out of the question cause then she'll start putting her cigs out on it, but bdubs cant get an abortion because thats agaijst his morals so he builds a new arena that etho can kick his ass in and hopefully itll like kill the thing in him and he can feel guilty about that and go to confessional and develop a new type of ocd over it but at least nobody has to know because he can pretend it was an accjdent, unfortunately by virtue of building an arena with etho the server gets set on fire before he can finish it and when they migrate to the next season the code resets and his womb is made barren. ethubs continue like nothing ever happened and xisuma makes a rant video on kink at pride instead
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justcallmesakira · 9 months ago
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hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1
ty and er bye good luck take ur time!
"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''
Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!
Genre: crack, suggestive at the end
Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom
A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*
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How bro-
JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯
No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not
He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother
Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came
If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)
And all you went was giggles and flirting back
Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???
(fyodor take your anemic medication first)
Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!
Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!
HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT
Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"
that was UWU in russian btw-
But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-
fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy
Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"
But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai
I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"
*insert proud brother noises*
He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai
I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33
"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*
Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-
Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that
bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian
IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--
Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-
"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"
And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^
fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\
Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!
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A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-
Divider crds!: @cafekitsune
tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst
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chuuya-kisser · 3 months ago
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im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)
(spoilers utc)
firstly.
ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE
well
Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order
1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!
gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover
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2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?
OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️
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(also he looks so good-)
3- and the biggest bombshell
kunikida.
KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL
just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.
think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.
dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.
i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man
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like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY
also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it
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im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy
and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)
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moraloreldeservedbetter · 4 months ago
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Id like to talk about Clay as a father,
(I dont have my thoughts together about this so bear with me)
So everyone knows hes a horrible father, but i think that in his own twisted way he tried to break the cycle, which allowed Orel to become the father he was shown as in the last episode.
Now, obviously it took Clay some time to actually try to be a father, because until Orel was 4 he neglected him, i like to think because the thought of being the same thing as his father was too much for him, but neglecting was also too much and he couldnt admit thats what he was doing, so he was torn and felt worthless. (Clay literally says he didnt know how to be a father in trust)
In Passing you can see how Arthur was hurting by Angelas death and took it all out on Clay by hitting him, which clay saw as approval. Now with Orel, Clay does so much more than that. While Arthur basically threw old gunny in Clay's face and said "fuck off", Clay actually took Orel hunting. (Or attempted to) and because Arthur didnt take Clay hunting as a kid, Clay drank, a lot more than he usually does. (He always has a glass in his hand, but in Nature he was just chugging bottle after bottle) It could also probably be because he didnt have any responsibilities except for killing animals, so he could drink and relax but i like to think its because it was hard for him to do anything father and son related when he didnt know how fathers are supposed to act.
Also, Clay states "If i can prepare you for the bleakness of adulthood, i've done my job" which i think he had to figure out on his own, with no mother and a father who doesnt care about him. So, again, in a way, he tried to be a better father than Arthur.
ALSO!! the fact that Clay never tells Orel "I love you" back probably shows that he doesnt know how to say it, so thats probably something Orel picked up from Bloberta, im just not sure in which instance she would ever say "I love you" to her family, because she doesnt love them. (Other than trying to prove Orel wrong, like them pretending to love each other in Grounded and Gods Blunders.)
I think that when Clay was saying something and trying to piss Arthur off, he was trying to say "I love you" and when Arthur hit him back, he took it as "I love you too, son" but eventually, Clay saw it for what it actually was, which is dementrated in Trust because he actually states that he feels worthless when in his fathers presence. In fact, the only time Clay ever says "I love you" in when in the presence of another man, to another man.
I think Orel tries to see this, too, despite his hurt from Clays abuse becuase i believe whole heartedly that he lets his children see Clay and Bloberta, if he didnt he wouldnt put a picture of them on the wall next to Block and Shapey.
I have more thoughts on this but this is just too messy and im not normal about anything in this show
(Side note, in Sacrifice Clay is walking out of his study and copys Shapey when he says yummy, and interaction is only something that happened before Angela died, i cant see anything positive happening between Clay and Arthur after Angela died so uh yeah)
oh i agree
i DEFINITELY agree
clay is the embodiment of "i will not be my father" and decides to be somehow WORSE
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hiemaldesirae · 5 months ago
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playing around with als demon form (and clothing). i rant a bit about character design under the cut
its a little difficult to land on a design i like for alastor in particular because its so difficult to make him look like "himself" if i dont include key elements like the very shape of his silhouette. characters like velvette or charlie can get by with hairstyle changes or clothing swaps but with alastor, i find that its nigh impossible to have him look like himself if i switch out any elements of his silhouette. that and his eyes, as theyre so expressive and basically show how he's feeling where his expression cant i feel like its impossible to change anything about his eyes and make him still feel like *alastor*, at least at my skill level (if i oneday manage to make a version of alastor with a mustache and not immediately after want to kill him and myself i will be able to die happy) also i could take out the monocle but tbh even though it doesnt fit his time period it honestly makes him look better so im making him keep that on.
when i go to redesign things and change them around to my liking theres only a few things i can do: ex, i have to focus more on adding details that should be there instead of trying to subtract ones that shouldn't be (and yeah that includes the wackass bob). i also kind of have my hands tied when it comes to like, trying to actually connect back to both his deer and radio motifs because i swear to god vivziepop was not fucking thinking when she decided to make him the radio demon. his base design has literally NOTHING to do with the radio so i have to be super careful with how i approach all of it when im trying to redesign and work details in otherwise i end up veering off course and creating a whole new guy.
so for this, theres a few things i tampered with. for one, the suit he's wearing is monochromatic and boring (and i wont take shit about it being animation because if lucifer can have 10000 tiny annoying details and his stupid fucking tophat then alastor should be able to wear more than one fucking colour with his clothes) so the first step is to get some more colour in there. red with gold trimmings fits well with the appearance of old cathedral radios, and as a plus, it makes him look like he has a more cohesive outfit (as well as one that fits for the job!) instead of a colour scheme and clothes combo nearly as horrific as denim on denim. and of course the radio in the chest can replace the atrocious attempt at complexity in his outfit (is that a harness or a shirt pattern? who knows, not me!) . pants are a lot simpler but i dont really want to tackle the lower body just yet because i dont really know how i want to approach the animalistic vs non animalistic features sort of thing for his design. oh and i put in a ribcage corset because its a banger idea and it makes him look better honestly
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ludinusdaleth · 8 months ago
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i feel like the mere idea of bringing up orym & ludinus and their entwined threads of fate is taboo, but i cant stop thinking about it.
orym is a rare, nearly impossible kind of protector - a guard, somehow not attached to a corrupt, brutal system. he just wishes to protect his home, his leader. but ludinus, via otohan, attacks this peaceful place. he turns the ashari cautious & agrieved. he turns the society of air into the eye of a hurricane. orym is turned into a widow. his title as guard is marred; he failed. maybe zephrah is forever marked as a battleground & graveyard, now.
orym walks across tal'dorei & marquet, slowly healing beside his friends, protecting them as best he can. but then he learns who killed his family, and she kills his friends, too - and him, for a moment, giving him visions of his dead husband, reopening the wound. he is in the eye of a sandstorm, tinged red by the moon. he is a pilgrim no longer. his attempt to be a guard has once again been thwarted. maybe you cant have peace if you're a protector.
orym is at the center of the goddamn planet, the leylines aligning as he witnesses his leader fall at the hands of otohan, again at the center of his home's wound, and ludinus, again pulling the strings. a protector far stronger, more capable, than him, adorned in feathers, alight with divinity, falls worse. his friends are flung to the far sides of the world. he once again fails as a guard. maybe a guard is too small in the scale of this world's forces to impact the tide at all.
and so, orym nods to laudna as she rips bor'dor's life from him. he shears his hair ever more, adorns tougher armor. he makes a deal with a hag, desperate for any chance someone he cares for could maybe fucking make it out okay - even if his vastly increased sternness to keep them safe pushes all of them farther into fear of their own. he sneers with unfathomable anguish as he sees ludinus at the volcano and wastes every one of his action points to rip his soldiers apart. he uses ludinus's harness. he takes the willmaster's power. he keeps pushing into the bloodred storm. he could never be a guard right. so it is time to be a soldier. to truly protect must mean to run to the source of all of it and end it once and for all.
all of the bells have been forged by ludinus, a horseman of war, but orym takes it most viscerally. he does everything in his power to stop ludinus, but in a way the elf has already won - or perhaps, in his need for exandria to be "saved" (as he percieves his actions will do), he's failed, but the bells have still lost. because this new generation isnt at peace. they arent even heroes. they are soldiers. orym more than anyone else has accepted that is his life, his death, his fate. there is no goal of his that doesnt end at ludinus. ludinus, who just like him, lost everything in a war involving gods. who has felt the way the world keeps turning, unbothered by what destroyed his society. who uses that accursed harness to take power for a cause. who doesnt want to force someones mind to get what he needs, or kill, but does, because it is necessary. who has pushed himself to the point he is a means to an end more than a person, willing to rip himself apart because he doesnt matter, his goal does. who cant see anything but war on the horizon anymore.
when the two are mentioned together it causes folk to bristle. the idea orym could be in ludinus's shadow is seen as a suggestion that orym is evil as him. but, thats not what i intend. it is a terrible thing, watching someone's gaze harden after tragedy. once a long time ago, as the gods fought across exandria, ludinus saw his world destroyed. and so he enacted a plan to ensure that would never happen again. that they would suffer, and mortals would thrive. but his plan was a god's foot, trampling mortal society upon society. and so orym saw his world destroyed. and he knows killing ludinus is how to let it mend. as the two march forward, in a second calamity, i can think of nothing but the first scene of exu: calamity, when pelor & asmodeus fought as avalir fell below them. despite ludinus's raging, incredible hatred of the gods, the biggest tragedy of all is that mortals really are crafted in the gods' image: and he, & orym, are most representative of that endless cycle of war, of this war, a failure of the past generations, of ludinus, to ensure a "true" freedom of mortals. of peace.
willmaster edmunda was a terrible person, but i fear she was on the right track when she spat at orym "some would like to live in harmony [with Exandrians]. some... know the nature of violence, that others like you carry."
he would never have carried it if ludinus had not dropped it at his feet.
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certifiedstarrr · 7 months ago
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stone cold - c.s pt.2 of "i'll beat her bitch ass."
pt1
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femvolleyballplayer!y/n x comforting!chris
warnings: cursing, crying, intentional lowercase, no grammar used (intentional), detailed brutal fighting, mentions of death, ig triggering topic, use of y/n (sorry?) ig angst???
summary: somerville won the semi-finals and amelia's team goes home. amelia should wish that she hadn't said that because y/n doesnt play when it comes to someone talking about her boyfriend. shits about to go down.
this is set in some random ass au that i can’t really explain😭
p.s sorry to people named amelia, no hate to y’all !💗
also be kind to others please !!
don’t like don’t read !!
find some other shit to do.
not proofread (a bitch don’t got no time for that shit)
this is my creative work and i do not approve of plagiarism in any way. i also do not approve of reposting my work onto other apps or anything of the idea. SSTVRNIOLOO 2024.
a/n: HEYY , so this is your surprise fic series ive been working onnnn ~ also my laptop stopped working so i don’t have the option of typing anymore, so it’ll be on my phone or ipad. (mostly ipad though) 💔
wc: 2k
enjoy !!
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im going to beat this motherfucker up.
how dare she slap me, tell chris is only dating me because im just a "good fuck", and saying didnt love me.
im going to beat her so bad that her nose is so fucking crooked. so bad that she cant speak. that shes hospitalized just as long that i was when she injured me.
after she slapped me i pounced on her. yanking at her hair & jaw to get her to look at me.
"whos laughing now, bitch?"
laughing, i bitch slap her right back and punch her in the nose. nobody even dares to fucking touch me. no one.
i jump on her pounding her head onto the glossy gym floors. throwing many punches at her nose and face, practically drilling my knuckles into her faceーwith. no. absolute. mercy.
i didnt care how bad her injuries were gonna be. i could actually care less.
my white jerseyーwell, previouslyーwas now splattered with her blood.
"yeah get her ass !!"
meghan yelled from the bench. i love meg.
nobody was really going to stop me. i probably looked like a monster.
"please stop!! im sorry !"
amelia yelped and screamed. i heard herーloud and clearーbut didn't give no fucks.
throwing punches directly at her nose, hoping to complete my goal of making her; already hideous nose; crooked as hell.
her face drowned of ruby red coloured blood. her mouth draining of blood and face bruised and cut.
i could practically kill her. but do i want murder charges though? no.
i looked at her twisted nose in proudness & enjoyment. he nose was perfectly crooked how i wanted it to be.
all this timeーwith out realizing itーi'd also been fighting off the refs and amelia's teamates. i was also tuning out the repeatedly blown whistle.
well too late. the damage was done. she was definitely fucked up.
its called payback, bitch.
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she surprisingly got up, stumbling around before she threw a hand at me. she punched my nose and scratched my cheek.
i felt the burning sensation on my cheek and my blood sprinting down my cheek.
“you motherfucker!”
she furiously yelled at me, with tears running down her face, mixing in with the blood.
my eyes shot down to the gym floor. it was one big puddle of blood. i grinned crazilyーlike a fucking serial killer.
we were both standing in fighting positions, ready to quite literally kill each other.
i caught chris’ big blue orbs staring at me. he was also grinning. he knew the rivalry that me and amelia have; that’s why he never stopped me.
the crowd was chanting my name. they all backed me up on this rivalry comepletely.
our faces were both decorated with blood. but mine didn’t have tears streaming down them.
i knew i was going to penalized for the tournament. i most definitely was; without question.
this beef wasn’t with any of our other teammates, it was only between me and her. though everybody knew what amelia did to me last season.
the referees and her teammates finally pulled us away from each other. both screaming profanities at eachother.
but suddenly whilst she was walking back to her bench. she fell. its all because i knocked her outー
stone cold.
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as my coach walked me to the locker room, i heard cheering, applause and more loud chanting of my name. they all knew the beef between amelia and i.
i got to the locker room with my coach and sat down.
“you’re expecting me to yell at you or something, hm?”
my coach monique said.
“yep.”
“well i’m not. i’m so proud of you for beating that bitch up.”
coach monique laughed.
“thank you! i thought everybody thought i was a monster for doing that”
“you’re a monster on the court. but thatーthat was just handing pure business.”
“thank you coach”
coach monique walked back out the the court to settle my team and talk to the refs.
suddenly, chris walked in to the locker room.
“oh hey chris”
“hey baby”
he went in to hug me but i gestured no.
“unless you want blood on your shirt, i don’t think you should.”
“i don’t really care”
he hugged me tightly and i hugged right back.
“so how’d the fight even start y/n?” chris questioned
“well first she slapped me because i was supposedly “cheating” then told me that you were only dating me because i was a “good fuck” and you didn’t love me”
i explained calmly.
“that little bitch.” chris said low-toned.
“and that’s exactly why her nose is crooked as fuck”
i grinned, remembering how her nose looked.
“i’m gonna go back to the stands and get to car.” chris said.
“okay see you in a bit baby”
he gave me a swift kiss on the lips and walked out the locker room.
i grabbed a wet towel and dabbed at my cuts and bruisesーa burning sensation each time i dabbed at them.
changing back into my clothes and taking my sports bag. i head to the car and greet my friends.
i hated the media. and now they were following me.
i stepped out the door and walked to car where all my friends were. i ran up to nick first.
“hey babes!” nick said excitedly.
“hey nickk” matching his same energy.
group hugging lauren and angelina (angie) happily while getting tons of dumb questions from the media that was previously following me.
also greeting matt aswell, making sure to make him smile.
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parking into the driveway, me, matt, chris, and nick got out the car and heading inside the house.
nick and matt went to their rooms, leaving me and chris to go to our shared one.
“i need a shower” i said.
“okay baby i’ll go after you” chris said.
..
i closed the bathroom door and started stripping my clothes off. once fully done, i stepped inside the shower, turning the water on and letting the water stream down.
the water mixed in with the little blood that was left on me. falling on the shower tiles.
i took my loofah and put soap on it and watched it grow soap suds on it. i got lost in relaxing feeling of hot water and sudsy soap. it just rejuvenated me.
..
hopping out the shower, and drying myself with my towel. i threw on my clothes that were laid out on the counter. i opened the bathroom door and felt the cold air rush past me.
i stretched out on the shared bed and get a call.
it’s from my aunt. she never calls me. why now?
“hey y/n it’s me”
my aunt sounded like she was crying. but why?
“yes auntie?”
“y/n y-you’re parents died.”
i dropped my phone on the bed.
no. this is some kind of sick joke.
my eyes darted everywhere, trying to register what i just heard.
they couldn't have died. i saw them last night when they flew to London.
when they disappointed me telling me they couldn't make it to my game. i had totally forgot about that when i looked around in the stands.
then, i broke out into a loud, ugly, sob.
chris’ eyes immediately shot to me.
“what happened y/n??” his voice laced with worry and concern.
"my parents- they-" i couldn't finish my sentence.
"take your time ma" chris said gently.
i could hardly believe my parents died. it just wasn't possible.
chris hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, trying to get me to calm down.
i sobbed. i loved my parents so much. sure we weren't on the best terms with eachother lately. but i still loved them dearly.
and the worst part is, the last thing i ever said to them but "i hate you both"
"chris the last thing i said to them wasn't even i love you!" i wailed, still sobbing.
"shh y/n" chris calmed.
then chris just held me there. no words. no sound. nothing.
just silence.
he knew what had happened by the hints i dropped.
i just couldn't bring myself to say it. not yet.
ೃ༄
i awoke, wrapped in chris' arms. i looked over the time,
1:56pm
a solid 13 hours of sleep.
yet i still felt tired.
i had no energy. so many missed calls and texts.
i knew what they were all gonna say,
"We're so sorry for your lost! If there's anything we can do to help let us know."
well you most certainly cant fix those empty parental figures;
hell, i'm an orphan now.
so bullshit.
i opened tiktok bored out of my mind and started scrolling.
i saw a tiktok of a girl who looked around my age with both her mom and dad , doing a dance.
why cant that be me?
..
i was at my desk a couple minutes later, hatching a plan.
because what if my parents really weren't dead,
what they faked it?
well its time to find out.
chris woke up groggily,
"morning ma" he yawned.
"morning baby" i answered swiftly.
"what are you doing?" he asked.
"we're flying to london."
extra: soooooooooo this took so long for no reason but here it isssss.
school was beating my ass fr fr
but thank you for reading !!!
taglist: 🏷 @lovingmattysposts @elliesturniolo1 @elliewrites1 @sturnsbitch @luvmxtt @vanteguccir @chrisstopherfilmed @novasturniolo03 @tyjna6 @sturnlova @sturniolo-lover1317 @patscorner @ak47b1tch
(comment here to be on my taglist !)
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permetutotheworld · 2 months ago
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unrequited marylene marlene’s pov where she writes about it
requested by @nyx-taylors-version
This is stupid i dont even know why im doing this but Lily said it would help so here we are. I like mary.
That didnt help and lily is a dirty liar
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she smiled at me today and called me over, i dont want anyone but her to say my name ever again
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there’s a party tonight in the tower, i’m going with Mary as friends. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But then again, you never know, mary’s never said she’s straight explicitly! Lily says im being delusional but a girlie’s gotta be a little crazy sometimes
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she likes a boy. Im not a boy. Ill be okay, it’s just a silly crush she means everything to me
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im need to get over Mary i can’t go on like this it hurts too much, every time she smiles at me a knife twists in my gut and im winded for a second and i hate it
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she’s leaving. Shes leaving hogwarts. Her family is leaving for america to avoid the war i cant i dont how can i i dont care.
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is it wrong to wish i’d never met her? To wish i never had the chance to fall in love like her? Probably but she’s anyway so it doesnt matter. I wish she wasnt leaving
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she’s leaving today and i feel like im dying, everyone’s crying but i just can’t make myself, what’s wrong with me? My best friend is leaving for another continent and i can’t even being myself to shed a tear or two
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shes gone. she left and i couldnt even look her in the eye. she was sobbing and it killed me to see her upset but i coulnd’t do anything but hug her and wish i lived in a universe where Mary Macdonald didnt like boys
and now she’s gone, and a part of me left with her.
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i miss her
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three years later, 1981
mary, hi
marlene here, of course you’ll know that because of my shitty handwriting, mary i
everything’s gone to shit mary, lily and jamss are in hiding dorcas is dead gone and i miss you. Please come back don’t come back Mary its too dangerous, it would kill me if anything happened to you, you probably shouldn’t even reply to this, they’re checking all owls coming into the country, it really is a shit show over here
and mary, if anything happens to me, you’re my best friend in this world, i would do anything for you so please do this for me
stay away from britain. stay away from the war, get yourself the fuck away from all of this, even further than where you are now and live your life safely, please, i cant lose you
i have to go, peter’s knocking and it seems important
live a good life Mary Macdonald
love from
marlene
x
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19th july 1981
the mckinnon’s were found dead early this morning by sirius black
We at the daily prophet extend our condolences to the friends and family members left behind.
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angstflavoured · 6 months ago
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long rant about wheatleys fandomication and how much i despise it vvv
like sorry, i dont understand how you can play this game and make Wheatley anything BUT a stupid, pathetic incel. HE was the one that woke Chell from cryosleep to save HIMSELF. it was never about her, he didnt know who she was or that she was important. hed killed 10k+ ppl cus he sucked as his job and he didnt fucking care, he just needed some human somewhere who could do puzzles and use the gun to help him get out. and then chell fucking helps him and the worst she ever does is simply NOT SPEAK TO HIM. she isnt even rude or mean or do anything to endanger him. she just doesnt give him attention. and then when they are both about to escape HE BETRAYS HER !!! and then has the AUDACITY to turn the wholeee thing around like he was a malipulated victim. he acts like chell was going to leave HIM when she LITERALLY LEFT NO INDICATION OF DOING SO !!! SHE DIDNT DO SHIT DAWG, and people who make an argument of him being "underappreciated" are fucking insane. he was doing the whole thing to save his own ass, and was rude to chell the entire time. he sounds a little polite bc hes british, but dude. the very first thing he says to her face is that she looks terrible. he very obviously despises humans and doesnt care about them, its shown throughout the entirety of the game. he talks down to chell like shes stupid the whole time. when he does betray you and try to kill you, its VERY relentless and without remorse. hes not doing it for attention, he just wants you fucking dead.
and then even at the VERRYYYYY END OF THE GAME !!!! when theyre are both being pulled into space. he asks for HER to let go and get herself killed so he can fix things.
AMD THEN EVERYONE JUST FORGOT ABOUT EVERYTHINNGGGG THAT HAPPENED IN THE FUCKING GAME BECAUSE HE SAID SORRYYYY??? HE SAID SORRY ONE TIME ???????????? AFTER HE LOST EVERYTHING like theres a huge pattern of him only being nice and apologetic when he KNOWS that hes weaker and cant win. hes a coward.
and like 70% of the fan content i see of him is him being so nice and polite and complimenting the person he's with and showering them with love. like BRO IS NOT RESPECTABLE !!!! HE SUCKS !!!! HE WOULD NOT BE A LIKEABLE PERSON !! or worse people make him really cool and sexy which like 😑 CMON BRO HES A LOSERRRRRR !!! LOSERCORE HE IS NOT COOL IN THE SLIGHTEST HE SUCKSSSSS
i just will never understand why ppl who love a character so much will strip them of everything that makes them who they are just to fit their comfort needs. like just ?? go consume different media with nice characters??? 500% of the reason i love wheatley is how much he sucks. if you dont like that, i dont understand why youd even gravitate towards liking someone like wheatley.
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bioluminescentviolence · 28 days ago
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What even are you. Jesus your mom must have been fucking embarassed. Imagine trying to have a kid and getting this shit. Man id fucking die too. Imagine how embarassed she was being around you in public. If she had the time to before keeling over anyway. Dont you feel bad? Embarassing your mother like that? Right before she died? You have to feel bad right. Why would you do that to her? And for what? So glad you got a replacement so she could give you the beating you deserve. She was right to abuse you. She understood how much of a useless piece of shit you are. Even you know your life is worth nothing because you wont even take care of your own diabetes lmfao. Its like you knew you dont deserve life. Its like you knew youll never amount to anything more than some piece of shit posting things no one cares about on tumblr. You are so genuinely insignifigant and you KNOW IT so you abuse others to make yourself feel like your life has any sort of purpose. Id say its sad but no one in their right mind would feel any sort of sympathy for you. I know you dont give a fuck about others but it really would make the world a better place if you went ahead and followed in your first moms footsteps already. Its not like you have anything to truly live for. No one cares about you or even wants you alive. Theres a reason youre so alone and have to lie for attention and drink till you cant think of all your inadequacies. Youve got a lot of them dont you! Certainly takes a lot of alcohol doesnt it buddy? Seriously why do you want to live like this? Whats the point of still being here? What are you trying to prove? No ones listening. No one cares. If you keep living youll just have to live with everything youve done. Live with all the lies youve told. Do you really want to do that? You have yourself backed into a corner. Theres no way for you to live in a way that matters. Theres no way for you to live without the very deserved shame and guilt following you wherever you go. Youll never amount to anything. What is the reason for you to go on? Youre fucking pathetic. You know you are. Everyone knows you are. You will never run away from what you are and what youve done. Do you really want to live like this? I know you want to take the easy way out. I know youre a pussy. Hurry up
Just bc your dad didn't give you the attention you actually needed, doesn't mean i will @killing-machine
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sallyface4everimmarriedto · 6 months ago
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JJK x Filia<3 reader
Filia!Reader is the protective type especially when it comes to Yuji, Nobara, and Megumi mostly Yuji cuz ya know vessels stick together
#VESSELLIVESMATTER
Anyway they try their best to stay away from Gojo cuz much to her dismay he talked so much he purposely turned off his infinity just to get a rise out of Samson literally allowed Samson to punch him to see if the punch would be soft like normal hair or would it feel like an actual fist
(Learned that it was worse then a fist and soft hair it felt like sandpaper attached to a metal slide in the hot sun during the summer with blades)
Now with yuji and sukuna yuji and Filia!Reader get along very well basically inseparable they're like fraternal twins if you were to to describe these to with two worded quotes it would be "Rev Up!" And "Power Up! " but...theres always a down side because DAMN SURE THAT SAMSON AND SUKUNA DONT LIKE EACH OTHER theres a difference between these two
one actually cares for their vessel how they feel if they're alright mentally physically psychologically.....WHILE THE OTHER is literally reckless at all times he keeps his vessel alive just because hes interested in his life and everything thats been going on recently and literally its all ENTERTAINMENT FOR HIM
Yes he's killed his vessel a couple of times out of pure boredom yes he'll do it again he doesnt care at all as long as he's entertained he doesnt care how his vessel feels at all SHIT HE'LL EVEN KILL HIS FRIENDS JUST TO GET THAT GOOD ASS ASMR IN HIS EARS OF HIS VESSEL CRYING this mans evil-
Now with nobara....there isnt much to say these two definitely steal gojos black card to go on shopping sprees and photo shoots in the mall its not like gojos gonna miss it this man is literally rich with an end pretty sure he wont even recall its missing because he definitely doesnt keep receipts with all the stuff he buys so nobara and Filia!Reader literally have a never ending wardrobe full of clothes for every FUCKING SEASON fashionably spicefied<3
It may seem like megumi and Filia!Reader dont really talk much at all but they bond over the animals they can make Filia!Reader admires the animals hes able to make that she cant even the she Mostly makes bug shapes with her hair and they wouldn't really count as animals besides the octopus samson turns into its still a thing to talk about now samson loves to pet megumi's divine dogs
and so does Filia!Reader they love to cuddle with them and just relax and sleep after a long day even though Megumi is and emo boi and loves to be left alone he still enjoys Filia!Reader's company anytime shes around
Now...interaction with sukuna...he would just come up with any type of insult and they would just go over her head this one of the reasons why he and samson have a lot of beef because of the way he disrespects both vessel's thats basically keeping parts of them both alive
samson thinks they both should be grateful for that because they're not even trying to kick them out of their bodies but yuji is actually doing the most and willingly trying to find all 20 of sukunas fingers and sukunas selfish ass cant even be grateful for that always talking about fighting and Threatening his friends and sensei's for no literal reason at all what a giant piss baby.....yeah so samson doesn't like interaction with sukuna
Just like how samson doesnt like interaction with sukuna he also doesnt like interaction with gojo literally just because he thinks hes a creep and annoying as hell he would literally call him "stalker grandpa" or "flashlight eyed geezer" or "weezer geezer"
literally anything he can think of thats just in any way calling him old he was said to gojo and i quote "when you were born your hair said 90 but your face said vampirism of 1000 plagues nothing will ever destroy me" this man? Curse? Parasite? Thing?
Anyway he just does not like gojo now he can tolerate everyone else but he mostly tolerates yuji because its like having a second Filia!Reader only thing about yuji samson doesnt like is sukuna he is commited to hating him so much hes labelled as an op in the books theres is a lot of dann hate
Now for the finale on who Filia!Reader favorite adult who basically babysits her and the rest of the group sometimes ISSSSSSSSSS drumroll pls T-T 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
Nanami because once they were out looking for a curse ended up being a lower grade the sneaky stealing and energy deceiving kind would make themselves seem like a big deal so they can steal from sorcerers mushroomed shaped tiny has stub arms and legs dots for eyes no mouth these things are no use to even kill one because waste of time and two they're help with the environment plants and animals type of stuff
so when one snatchs nanami's tie to bring it to a foxes den to add to a pile to keep them warm and Filia!Reader goes after it to get the tie back for nanami even though he tried to tell to forget about it but she ran off to fast so she finally cornered the thing near the den she decided to give up her tie in exchange for nanami's in which worked
so she went back to nanami with his tie in hand and found herself the one to be tieless he let her keep it due to having so many of the same tie in which he received and big hug and a warm smile
When all together when fighting a stronger and sorcerers get injured Filia!Reader uses samson to make a dome shield or carries a bunch of people out of the fight and gets them to shoko so nobody else has to worry about how the injured would get to her
and they can just keep fighting knowing that people are getting healed and are in safety as much as samson doesnt really like doing that because he doesn't know the people but he does know that he needs to because of their state and if his vessels motivated to do it then so is he
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Thats one of them off my list (๑´̥̥̥>ω<̥̥̥`๑) i hope you enjoyed this vote so i can see if you would want more stuff like this and send any request if you want have a part to or side drabbles also did you see the little nanami ties on the little Filia!Reader? ;3
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rookpaw · 9 months ago
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(clutches head and writhes around on the floor) charlotte wh is so fucking. guh. like. (chronic yapping alert + full spoilers under the cut)
you're brought up and raised under a false assumption that you're a genius, the kind who appears only once in 100 years. you're, essentially , coerced into a shady surgery leaving you in (implied) constant pain and permanently stuck with a body that's inaccurate to your mind. and you do it out of devotion because you were a child who'd been thrown away once and by fucking god you need someone, something to latch onto. so of course you'll do anything for the source of that feeling of having your life mean something. having your efforts acknowledged, and being needed. but of course, it's a lie. always was. it falls apart in front of you. should you not be useful, you'll be thrown away. and of course, that breaks you. because well, you kind of always knew that. and you're left to die, in extreme pain, alone. and then you're dead, you've lost everything, and you're forced to simmer on it in a quiet, silent hell where your sole company is unfeeling demons. and you stay in the loop, eternally, re-experiencing your death over, and over, and over.
and like, the quiet, passive hatred charlotte is written with when in the context of all of it is sooo... augh, especially with her parallel to the loud, aggressive lime. charlotte's hatred for humans is distant and nihilistic- people use each other as tools, they deceive each other, attachment is pointless because it's going to be fake anyway. everyone takes the shortest route to benefiting, regardless of who has to be used. her lines about how "kindness and forgiveness allows for evil". her repeated insistence on just killing the other three to noel. you cant trust others. you should just hate everyone, its easier. its why she, at the end, doesn't understand "love" either. because to her, it's always been deception, and something others will take advantage of, so whats the point?
and it's why she bets on ashe - he affirms everything for her. both are people who's extreme devotion to their family caused them to do anything for them, by any means necessary - to harm, to use, anything. i think, to an extent, she can see herself in him. and i think she sees herself in noel too - her hint of sympathy in the hourglass scene, urging him to just give up because it'll end poorly, like it did for her (even if in a different way).
and like, throughout the game, charlotte has this sort of snide detachment from basically everyone. constantly talks about how other people annoy her and how she wants to see as much suffering as possible. but whats always been apparent to me about her is this back and forth she has of very, very slight affection for others before immediately burying it and deciding she "doesnt care". we see it with fiona in the 4th side story in the base game, we see it with noel in the hourglass scene, we see it with claire in the bonus stage, we see it with lime constantly, especially with how she broke down after losing her (if im remembering right anyway, still gotta finish my replay of the sirius conclusion). like, she always immediately covers it up - when in presence of the other demons she claims its part of her scheme, and when not she simply acts like she doesnt actually care. but it's so constant with her that to me it has to be on purpose, and im really, really curious where it goes in future conclusions
anyway i might be wrong about everything and reading her totally wrong, but shes a character i love a lot and ive been thinking about for too long for my own good. i'll come back to this when i finish my replay of sirius's conclusion and can suffer for hours over That One Scene, lol
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baileythebean · 4 months ago
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Vent below the cut so HUUUUGE trigger warning.
So usually I vent in my dad’s (Anomaly’s) DMs because he’s great at comforting me, but Im too pissed for this right now and I dont want to bother him. I swear I am so fucking close to actually killing myself, it’s scary.
My mom has an aversion to me ever binding. I am transmasc (FtM), and I am out to my parents. My mom claims to be a “good”, “supportive” mom, and I do occasionally have moments where I’m like “oh yeah, she’s making progress, she’s learning! :)” and then it’s always fucking ruined by saying things like “well Bailey is your nickname, your name is [deadname].” - “well you’re still biologically female.” - lots of bullshit little jabs at me whenever I ACTUALLY get brave enough to talk about my identity, which is rarely. Unfortunately, any chances of me getting a binder were ruined when I just asked her flat-out. I said it was for cosplay, just to play it safe, and it was still a hard no because “It destroys your body!” - “You wont develop properly!” - “You’ll regret it!” Along with several long rants about ALL the research she’s done, (probably barely any, and it was most likely on social media) and all the stories she’s heard about people who regretted surgery or just transitioning in general and had lawsuits for them, which is like, very low. The regret rate for transitioning is in the DECIMALS and yet she refuses to acknowledge that. We also have a history with suicide, as that’s how my dad left us, and yet she either hasn’t seen or doesnt care about trans suicide rates BECAUSE of being denied affirming care or harassment?? Anyways, here’s where my shit show of a story starts. I managed to get by fine with layering sports bras for a while and just not wearing anything tight-fitting. I figured she’d warm up to it eventually. But recently, I got a new cosplay (Venti from Genshin Impact) which involves a corset, and even if I layer or adjust the shirt, makes my chest look very weird if I dont bind. I started feeling more dysphoria than ever in my life and made a plan to get a binder before my first time wearing the costume. Said plan succeeded, and I had my friend get me the right sized binder at a birthday party one day through a queer kids program that offered them for free. I was so happy and started wearing it to get used to it and break it in since that day. Unfortunately, today I made the mistake of leaving it on my bed visibly.
My mom also has a terrible habit of going into my room and my spaces to clean, even though I usually do it myself anyway, and I LITERALLY FUCKING TELL HER NOT TO EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I dont want her touching my stuff EVER, not just when I’m trying to keep something from her. I told her to stop and she kept picking up trash, and she spotted it. She questioned me about it, and I caved, telling her what it is, how its been considered medically safe, and reciting like, ALL the safety instructions from the top of my head, hoping it would give me a chance at keeping it. I failed. I got yelled at for destroying my body, ETC ETC. finally, she says that she needs to keep my binder in her room so she can make sure I ONLY use it for cosplay and I’m pretty sure she’ll check if I’m wearing it every day.
Then this bitch PUTS MY BINDER ON and tells me it’s too tight. First, it’s supposed to be. Second, THATS NOT YOUR SIZE. I’m sobbing my eyes out right now, and the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend, and a literal fictional character. I want to tear my flesh from my bones when she tells me that puberty sucks for everyone, and she doesnt get the fact that it’s a million times worse for me because I’M A BOY. I’ll be lucky if I make it to the end of the year. I’m just done. I want it to be over. Someone come and end it for me, please. I cant take any more.
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s0lar-ch3ri · 2 months ago
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mythborning in the year of our lord 2024
do we think about how ryan and aster probably never fully accepted connor being dead. after the first day reset and shit i mean. theyd go to bed, silently hoping tomorrow theyd wake up and itd be like that day never happened, hell maybe they get set back again to the day of the big game. and they both just. they dont want to think of the idea that connors gone.
asters the one who trys to fight for him back. she makes up new reasons and such as to why hes not gone, ways they could possibly bring him back (it doesnt help that in this state she sounds so much like him about his brother). she looks through her dads artifact collections, seeing if any would make sense in any way to bring him back to life, losing care of its cost. she even tries to find his book or something of its nature, but finding that, if even possible, doesnt help because its a book made to kill not bring to life again. i dont imagine asters religious, not in the sense that she doesnt think gods are real (one is her mother), but that she never felt a pull to worship one. for the first time in her life, she tries to pray. she prays to her mother, reciting every word and performing every detail, squishing the tears from her eyes because god she cant let herself be seen so broken by this boy infront of a divine being and sure its the first time shes tried reaching out like this but she just needs one chance to talk to her. of course, whether or not it works and she sees her, she doesnt revive him. the day doesnt reset and he comes back to life. and somewhere inside her she knows this couldnt have worked, shes the daughter of a goddess and knows the balance of mortality and immortality. shes known he was gone the moment the rats attacked. thats why she fought so hard, because the small amounts of divine energy she held surely could beat what has been written by those above her just this once, just for him.
ryan doesnt let himself break. he has a floatball team to be on and an act to keep up and a friend who needs him. he doesnt have the ability to stop and let himself process how hed join in the bullying of "con-nerd" and how he gave ryan that hug before going to that gym and getting to see the vulnerable sides of connor when he talked about or even showed them (he probably showed him his friends) his brother. sure, he may know what its like to have lost family and connor was close in a way similar (might be a small shipper of those two. what of it. /lh they can be friends too ofc) and now hes gone and hell never get to hear him call ryan stupid when hes wearing his goofy grin or does something actually dumb. ryan, whos meant to be strong, let his friend get crushed by rats. and he wont break. he'll just tell gary to fuck off when hes caught tearing up after a floatball game because he had to look in the stands and know that connors not gonna be there selling hotdogs again. he can just put another lie in his act when hes looking in these history textbooks and say he wasnt thinking of olden magic usages and how they might be able to bring him back, closing his eyes so he doesnt gaze on them.
it takes ryan grabbing asters wrists and looking her dead in the eyes and telling her "i dont fucking like it, but connors gone. you know it. i know it. this is just gonna hurt you more. please. i cant lose one more person." it takes her looking in ryans eyes to see how theyre tired and dried out and his muscles seem to instinctively hold up a smile and how his grips just slightly too strong and yet he just is so tired and wants more then anything his best friend back. his breaths getting shakey and louder and he starts sniffling and she just grabs him down and they become sobbing messes of kids on the floor because god fucking damn it connors gone and nothings magically fixing this and nothing will be the same ever again.
it takes them a bit to figure out where his gravestone is. its empty. they should have honored him sooner, they know it, but they just wanted to hope that it wasnt just connors memory they had left living.
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