#kids will keep you humble
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arschbiene · 2 years ago
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doodle comic exploring the idea that when G/ermania starts slowing down and getting sick more often, he has this low key selfish compulsion to try and right old wrongs and be a more communicative and gentle father to prepare his children for his death but this just stresses Gilbert out at this point because he’s just a  baby who has a ton of anxiety around death and the uncertainty of immortality because his future doesn’t feel as secure as his siblings. 
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thejasontoddarchives · 1 year ago
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There’s a general consensus that above all else Jason should be homicidal again. However I think what’s also very important is that he should be a fucking hoot.
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There’s nothing not funny about this entire bit.
1. He couldn’t give less of a shit about explaining that he’s single-handedly trying to stop a terrorist attack. Obviously cause he’s short on time, but even if he had all the time in the world he would still be this indifferent towards explaining himself to cops.
2. This bomb is seconds away from exploding but he’s at most mildly annoyed like he’s in the office doing some menial task.
3. The perfectly timed British jokes.
4. Circling back to number 1 on the list. After he throws the bomb into the water he just dips. For all they know he’s the (weird) terrorist. (But as long as everyone’s okay he doesn’t care! The beauty of Jason Todd everybody).
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This one is funny (but it’s also true)? Like yes … that is exactly what you are. (A sweet, kind-hearted goodboy learning how to effectively poison people, shoot guns, and blow shit up with all manner of explosives like a certified pro).
Bonus:
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Red Hood: The Lost Days #5 (2010-)
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Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 (2010-)
“Not so irritating for an American” is a far more impressive title than “genius” if you ask me. Although I think Jason balances both pretty well.
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allgremlinart · 8 months ago
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NJ Italian diaspora so hilarious because first they desperately try to throw off the yoke of the Old World, only for them to retroactively cling to it decades later. Somehow the purposeful attempts at maintaining identity fail, while at the same time a new identity is accidentally created that is both completely divorced from what it was and yet immediately recognizable. AND they're all racist.
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iftitah · 1 year ago
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#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay#but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her#and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support#and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future#and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!!#ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak#ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know#logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead#but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates#i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone#its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us#and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off#and that's also a way of keeping myself humble#and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving#but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain#ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors#sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf#and goes to private places with some other guy#who's in everything for casual#but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now#playing around my head#or maybe i should just trust the process
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graciehart · 5 months ago
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asdjffjslsksl my client asked me if I was popular in high school and low key I was tempted to say girl I had a tumblr in high school and THEN she asked me if I was a mean girl and I asked what made her think that and she said because you’re a therapist so you were probably mean to people and then decided to change your ways and that’s why you’re a therapist 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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codenamejudas · 5 months ago
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Judas 🤝Mephisto: Little brothers (derogatory)
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downtherabbitholewithlucy · 2 years ago
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Teen People-Summer Special 2000, Wes Borland named Sexiest Guitarist
[The last thing Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland wants to dwell on is his sex appeal. When asked if he considers himself a girl magnet, he jokingly answers, "Just wait till I'm 40." But seriously, although the 25-year-old is well aware of the potent effect his sinewy body has on Limp Bizkit's massive following, it just isn't a big deal to the soft-spoken, shy guy, who married his longtime girlfriend, Heather, three years ago. On the road his chance encounters with the opposite sex-outside of female-packed Limp Bizkit shows-result in such provocative exchanges, he says, as, "Do you want fries with that?," "Have a nice day" and "Would you like smoking or nonsmoking?" For all his reluctance to elaborate on sexiness, ask Wes what he finds unsexy, and he's quick to answer: "Noisy eating habits and hollering loudly for no reason," he says. "Also, I find it unsexy when people say, 'Let's party!'" Enough said.]
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whateveriwant · 10 months ago
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The 141 getting you to stay in bed
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It gets a little spicy towards the end so 18+ please
Soap
Waking up to the feeling of a numb arm is extremely unpleasant, but you suppose it comes with the territory when trying to cuddle 200+ pounds of rugged Scotsman
You manage to free your trapped limb and roll to the other side of the bed, but that space behind you remains empty for only about three seconds before Johnny's pressing himself flat to your back 
Now with his arms around your waist, he holds you tight to him, mumbling unintelligibly against the back of your head
He drifts back to sleep quickly enough, his grip on you starting to loosen, only for it to tighten again when he feels you try to wriggle out of his hold
The incoherent grumbles from his throat grow increasingly displeased the more you try to shift away from him, until finally he huffs a grumpy, “Quit it,” into your scalp, hooking his leg over yours 
If you still don't listen, he'll have no choice but to take drastic measures to keep you still. Fed up with your squirming, he simply rolls on top of you, pinning you to the mattress below him
You can try beating on his back, telling him that you can't breathe, but he just shrugs and says, “Use my breath.”
Don't even bother trying to explain how oxygen doesn't work like that, because he doesn't care. “Tough,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck. “‘Cause I'm no' movin’.” And by extension, neither are you
Gaz
Kyle is also a stage 5 clinger, but he's less boa constrictor and more baby koala
So when your alarm goes off at 8am precisely, it's no surprise that the man behind you grumbles in protest
“It's Saturday,” he bemoans. “Why you getting up so bloody early?” When you tell him you like to keep your routine even on the weekends, he just groans and mutters, “Five more minutes.”
You can try to squirm and wrestle out of his hold, but he'll just tighten his arm around your midsection, keeping his front firmly glued to your back
But you need to get up! You have to pee for goodness’ sake! 
“Use the empty bottle on your nightstand,” he mumbles into your hair, peeking an eye open as you crane to look back at him. The look you give him at such a horrid suggestion has him sighing. “Alright, fine,” he relents and releases you. “But be quick. Bed gets cold without you.”
Once you've answered the call of nature, don't be surprised to find Kyle waiting for you directly outside the bathroom. He's wrapped up in your comforter like an oversized burrito, only his face and feet visible as they peek out from under the plush cover
With a sleepy pout, he holds his hand out for you, tugging you back to bed with him. Oh, he’ll make sure you get those five more minutes alright. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming
Ghost
First of all, don't even kid yourself into thinking you'll stand a chance of waking up before him or sneaking out of bed without him knowing. This man is the epitome of a light sleeper, whenever he does sleep, that is
So when you do finally wake up, it comes as no surprise to see Simon already up too. But just because you're both awake now doesn't mean you have to immediately be productive; quite the opposite, in fact
With how busy and stressed he is all the time, Simon loves nothing more than to just lie in bed with you and do nothing for hours
If you try to get up, he's stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, his voice quiet but firm as he commands, “Stay.”
You'll lay back down for a bit to appease him, but it won't be long before you feel guilty since you have so many things you should be doing instead
But actually, no, you don't have  anything to worry about. He's already taken care of everything before you woke up, he humbly informs you
The cat's been fed, the bin’s been taken out to the curb, he's even gotten your breakfast typed up on his phone – just give him the word and he'll place the order
So now when he opens his arms for you, having you bury your face in his chest, you've got nothing to worry about except savoring this moment with him 
Price
John is also a very light sleeper, so it only takes .02 seconds of you trying to stand from the bed for his bear-like snores to cease and his eyes to flit wide open
He'll grab you by the shirt hem, mumbling, “Where’re y’ goin’?” But it doesn't really matter what your answer is because his response is always the same: “No y’r not.” And pulls you back down. “Y’r stayin’ right here.”
He'll lie on his stomach, face smushed in the pillow, a big, warm hand tucked under your shirt resting against your belly
With nothing better to do, you scroll through your phone, catching up on your socials, the news, etc., but it's not long before you hear him grumble, “Put that away, will ya? ‘S too early to be meltin’ your brain with that thing.”
Well, what does he expect you to do? Lie there and stare at the ceiling for an hour? “Expect you to be good,” he tells you. “Don't make me get the handcuffs out again.”
Now that you have to laugh at. If he thinks it's too early to be on your phone, it's definitely too early for that
He smirks, opening his eye just a sliver, and the hand on your stomach begins to rub soft circles. “Is that so?” he taunts, his touch sneakily edging downwards. And when he slips beneath the band of your shorts, well…
Let's just say you're not leaving that bed anytime soon
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God what is it with boomer/movement shooter fans on twitter and never shutting the fuck up about titanfall 2
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allpromarlo · 1 year ago
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RAVENS 7-2 LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOD
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dahliakbs · 8 months ago
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✧⁠*⁠。Bat kids using your house as their getaway.✧⁠*⁠。
Masterlist
After a long day of work your decide to retire to your small and humble abode, but what's this?
A grown man and two kids sitting on your doorstep, one struggling to pick your lock while both kids sat on look out.
They immediately noticed your figure standing in the hallway.
"Um, what's all this?" You say pointing to the luggage that they've brought along with them.
"Tim drove the batmobile through the house and no one wants to be there when Bruce gets home" Dick explains.
"How'd you-"
"Honestly, I've seen five year olds with better driving skills Drake" Damian comments.
"Shut it hell spawn, not everyone was taught how to drive. Alright?" Tim says bitterly.
"Okay guys! You can not keep crashing at my place whenever something is wrong" you interrupt.
"Suppose someone sees you guys coming here" you push past Dick and push your keys in the door.
Honestly, you didn't mind their presence but sometimes they'd show up at the most random times and cause you all sorts of trouble.
Especially Jason.
Every once in a while he'll force open your side window and come inside your house to read one of the few books on your shelf.
Now that's not the problem, the problem is that half the time he bruised and bloody and your house is always his next destination after a tough fight.
On separate occasions Damian will crash at your house, mostly when he doesn't want to deal with his father's demands or if he did something wrong.
Like that one time he randomly showed up to your house with a pillow and a toothbrush and refused to tell you why he was here.
But then he's dragged back home by his dad the same evening, can't remember why.
Something about Damian blowing a hole in the back of their microwave.
But back to the present.
When you turned the knob of your front door you were immediately met with the sight of Jason Todd lounging on your sofa with a book in hand.
"What is this, a family gathering?" you walk in as the rest shuffle in behind you.
"What next, is Bruce also gonna show up out of thin air-"
Then you notice the large brooding male standing at the entrance of your kitchen silently.
.... sigh
"So you really just watched us struggle to open the door for an hour and refused to help" Tim asked while avoiding Bruce's glare.
"Basically" Jason responds.
"Your all grounded..... Including you" he points to you.
"...But I live here"
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dreamwritesimagines · 2 months ago
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Sunshine
AN: Hi my loves! So, this is the first installment of a oneshot series and I hope you’ll like it! Please don’t forget to tell me what you think!
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: The first ray of sunlight holds many promises.
Word Count: 2844
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You were no stranger to the feeling of inadequacy.
For you it was around every corner; impossible to get away from at least for the last couple of years. Even now, in the clothes you had borrowed from your best friend in an attempt to look more formal and serious, you couldn’t help but feel way out of your element.
Yet in your humble opinion, the very intimidating mansion you were currently gawking at didn’t make this any easier.
Your heart was slamming against your chest as you tried to keep your breathing under control, your tongue shooting up to wet your dry lips, then you looked down when you felt a tug on your sleeve. Theo stared up at you with wide eyes, making your heart clench but you managed to give him a bright smile despite the fear clouding your mind, and crouched down to get to his eye level.
“Hey bean,” you said, pushing his round glasses up the bridge of his nose. “What’s going on?”
“What if they don’t like me?”
You gasped and pressed a hand over your chest, feigning shock.
“Are you kidding?” you asked. “They will absolutely adore you. I myself am more worried that they will love you too much.”
He blinked a couple of times in confusion. “Too much?”
You nodded fervently.
“Yeah!” you said. “And then I’ll have to fight everyone in there to get you to myself every weekend.”
That managed to make him giggle and you pretended to be offended, narrowing your eyes.
“You don’t think I could take them down?”
“Can you?”
“Why yes I can,” you said, sticking your nose in the air. “I just don’t like to brag about it because that’ll scare people off, you know?”
He smiled wide and you pinched his cheek, then turned your head when a pretty girl with gloves on her hands cleared her throat.
“Hi, I’m Rogue,” she introduced herself. “New enrollment?”
 “Yeah,” you said after a beat. “Yeah, hi.”
“Professor is expecting you, please follow me,” she said and you stood up, then took Theo’s hand and followed her into the building.
The interior of the mansion was as gorgeous and intimidating as it was on the outside. Theo looked like he was nearly hypnotized -which made sense, your apartment had to be the size of a simple storage room in this place- and he stared at the ceiling with his mouth hanging open, his eyes darting around.
“I feel like you should know that because of the new policy Professor will need his parents’ signature in order to enroll him,” Rogue said, making you snap out of your haze before you cleared your throat.
“Um, I’m the parent.”
That made her pause only for a moment and she pulled her brows together, looking between you and Theo.
“Oh, sorry about that!” she said. “I just assumed…”
“No no I get that a lot, please don’t worry about it,” you assured her quickly, waving a hand in the air. “I had Theo the first year of college and—”
Never got to finish that year or the rest.
“As I said, I get that a lot.”
She gave you an apologetic smile, then stopped in front of a door.
“Wait a moment please,” she said, knocking on the door before stepping inside and Theo tugged at your sleeve.
“It’s so pretty here!” he whispered and you tried to swallow the nervous lump in your throat, then smiled at him.
“Isn’t it?” you whispered. “It’ll be fun to go to school here huh? The brochure said they even have a maze!”
“A maze?” he asked, his eyes widening behind his glasses. “Like in the movies?”
“Mm hm, just like in the movies,” you said. “And a lake!”
“Where is the lake?”
“I don’t know yet but they’ll show you,” you said and frowned when the thought hit you. “But you’re not going there without a teacher, alright?”
“Okay.”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise,” he said as you hooked your pinky with his and the door opened again.
“You can go in,” Rogue said and you thanked her, then turned to Theo.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay?” you asked and entered the huge office to see the man in the wheelchair behind the desk.
“Hello sir,” you said, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts as you approached him to shake his hand, then took the seat across from the desk.
“Hello,” he said with a calm smile. “I’m Professor Charles Xavier, we spoke on the phone. Y/N, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir,” you said. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
“Of course, it’s my pleasure,” he said. “I take it you’re here to enroll your son as we spoke?”
You nodded your head, fighting the urge to bite at your nails and took Theo’s file from his other school out of your backpack, then put it in front of him so that he could examine it.
“He’s um, he’s really good at math,” you said, stumbling over your words. “I don’t know if that’ll be helpful here but he’s—he’s very good at a lot of classes really.”
“I must admit, he is going to be the youngest student here and the fact that his power has shown itself this early on…” Professor Xavier trailed off, your stomach doing a painful flip. “We will have to work hard, but I’m confident that we can guide him and teach him how to use his abilities for good.”
You nibbled on your lip, clenching and unclenching your hands.
“I know it’s a boarding school but he’s not used to being away from me and I’m not used to being away from him,” you admitted, “You said on the phone that the students’ weekends are free?”
“Of course,” he said. “Some of our students only stay here on weekdays to attend their classes, and they spend their weekends with their parents.”
You let out a relieved breath. “Okay. That’s nice to hear.”
“I know you’re worried,” he said, his voice completely calm and soothing. “It’s very normal to be worried but trust me, you’re making the best decision for him.”
“I know,” you said, trying to convince yourself and him at the same time. “I’ve done a lot of research and—and I want him to be safe and this place seems like the best place to teach him how to be safe.”
Professor Xavier pulled out a paper from his drawer, then pushed it in your direction with a pen.
“We only need your signature,” he said and paused for a second. “That is if the father…?”
You shook your head.
“Not in the picture, sir,” you said as you signed the paper, your heart beating in your ears. “Um, it’s just me and Theo.”
“I see,” he said. “Well, I promise you that Theo will be in good hands, Y/N.”
“Thank you,” you said, putting the paper back on the desk and fixed your hair with a shaky hand just so that you could keep yourself busy, and Professor Xavier offered you a small smile.
“You can always contact me if you have any other questions,” he said. “I’ll talk to Theo after Rogue gives him his tour, and I’ll see you on Friday?”
“Yes sir,” you said. “Thank you, have a nice day.”
“You too.”
When you walked out of the office, you caught the sight of Rogue talking to a tall man with tousled dark hair, but you couldn’t see his face since his back was turned to you. For a moment you considered letting Rogue know that you were out, but figured it would be rude to interrupt, so you approached Theo who was patiently waiting for you.
“Alright bean,” you said as you crouched down to look him in the eye, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, desperate to keep the tears at bay at least until you were back in the car and Theo couldn’t see you. “What day is it today?”
“Tuesday.”
“And then we have…?”
“Wednesday, Thursday and Friday,” he said, counting with his fingers and you nodded your head, holding his fingers together.
“And on Friday I’ll come and get you, okay?” you asked him and he pursed his lips, then pushed his glasses up his nose.
“Just three days.”
“Just three days,” you repeated. “But before I leave, you need to promise me something.”
“What?”
“You’ll tell me all about how pretty this place is, in detail,” you said. “And how much fun you have. So you kind of have to see everything here and have fun, promise?”
“Promise.”
“And the signal?”
He smiled, tapping over his heart three times and you did the same.
“See? I feel it,” you told him. “When you do that, I’ll do the same even if I’m not here. Okay?”
“Mkay.”
 “Ready for your tour, Theo?” Rogue asked and he looked up at her, then turned to you and you pulled him into a tight hug, then smothered him in kisses as he let out an embarrassed whine.
“Mommy!”
“Okay okay, sorry,” you said with a small laugh, then adapted an overly serious expression and held out your hand. “A handshake then?”
He let out a giggle, then shook your hand and you forced yourself to smile, then stood up and straightened your back while he made his way to Rogue. Theo waved at you and you waved back, but as soon as he turned the corner with Rogue, your shoulders dropped.
Okay.
It was fine.
It was going to be just fine.
 “New enrollment?” a deep voice reached you and you looked over your shoulder, then turned around to see him better.
It was the same man who you’d seen talking to Rogue just now and God, he was so handsome. If your mind wasn’t numb with anxiety, you would have stood there and gawk at him for a good minute, but perhaps your worries were for once working in your favor. His intense gaze raked over you, making your cheeks burn and your heartbeat speeding up, and a small smile curled his lips as if he could hear it.
“That obvious?”
“Just a little,” he said as your hand shot up to pinch your bottom lip, his gaze following the motion.
“People don’t get killed or maimed here, do they?” you asked and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Not on weekdays.”
“Great,” you said after a beat, offering him a weak smile. “Thanks. I’m gonna go on a limb and say there’s a reason why they didn’t put you in the welcome committee?”
That made the corners of his mouth twitch and he nodded in the direction Theo had walked away from you.
“Isn’t he a bit too young to have powers?”
“Funny you should ask that because I repeated the same question over and over again until I cried myself to sleep last night,” you pointed out and scrunched up your nose when he tilted his head. “Sorry. My jokes get a bit grim when I’m stressed.”
“You look like a very relaxed individual.”
“Do I?”
“Not really, I’m convinced that you’re having a heart attack right now.”
You blinked a couple of times in confusion before the idea hit you and your jaw dropped, your stomach doing a flip.
Right. He—
Everyone here had powers.
Well if there was anything more embarrassing than making bad jokes in front of a very hot man, it was that when the said hot man could hear your heartbeat. You managed to close your mouth and shifted your weight, your hand shooting up to your mouth again so that you could bite at the hangnail on your thumb nervously.
“Yeah that’s kind of my factory settings,” you managed to mumble. “I generate enough stress to light up a whole city.”
He hummed, his unwavering gaze making your heart skip a beat and as always, your brain took it as a sign for you to ramble about absolute nonsense.
“I’ll be a very rich person the moment they find a way to monetize stress,” you stated. “Which should be any day now, and I kind of have a list prepared for that day; the first thing I’m gonna do is probably cry because knowing me—I cry like all the time, I cried this morning and I will probably cry when I get to my car after this but— but then I’ll buy one of those very expensive coffees, I don’t know if you’ve tried them—”
“Logan, Storm wants to see us,” someone called out from the end of the hallway, cutting through your rambling but he didn’t even look at the owner of the voice. Instead, a small smirk curled his lips as if he was amused with your nonsense and you swallowed thickly, biting at your thumb again.
“I’m Logan by the way,” he said and you raised your brows, then nodded fervently.
“Y/N,” you introduced yourself, lowering your hand. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
The silence that fell upon you felt like it would explode your head so you cleared your throat, throwing your shoulders back.
“I should—I should get back to work before I get fired,” you stammered, jerking your thumb over your shoulder and took a step, then turned around on your heels. “But um, nice to meet you.”
“You too,” he said, his voice completely calm unlike yours and you shot him a tentative smile, then made your way out of the hallway, then walked out of the building as fast as you could as if someone was chasing you.
“Oh I’m an idiot,” you sang to yourself, drawing out the last syllable like an opera singer while fished your car keys out of your backpack, your heart still beating in your ears. “I’m an idiot, I’m such an idiot…”
 The moment you got in your car, you heaved a sigh and pressed your palms on your eyes but your head shot up when your phone started ringing. You unzipped your backpack to grab it, then tossed the backpack back in the passenger seat and checked the screen to see your best friend’s name. You let out a breath, then touched the screen and took it to your ear.
“Julie, I’m an idiot I think,” you greeted her and she paused for a moment.
“Hello to you too sunshine,” she said with a laugh. “What happened?”
“Well the good news is, Theo liked the school,” you said, looking out the window at the mansion. “But I miss him already. Do you think—”
“You’re not changing your mind about this, we talked about helicopter parenting,” she said. “It’s going to be good for him.”
“Right.”
“Is that why you’re freaking out?”
“Not really but I will cry about it,” you pointed out. “Tonight I’m guessing.”
“Didn’t expect anything else, I’m bringing drinks to your place,” she said. “So? What is it then?”
“There’s a very, very, very attractive man there,” you murmured and she hummed.
“Just so I get it clear, how attractive is he again?”
“Very.”
You could practically hear her grin. “Good.”
“It’s not good!” you whined. “I’ve made a fool of myself.”
“It’s a part of your charm.”
“It really isn’t,” you said and looked down at your clothes. “And I look like a tax collector.”
“People other than tax collectors wear white shirts, we’ve been over that.”
“He thinks I’m a tax collector who can’t form a logical sentence,” you said, slipping a little in the driver’s seat to lean your knees to the steering wheel and she scoffed.
“Not really, he probably thinks you’re a—”
“We’re not calling me that,” you cut her off, making her laugh.
“Fine.”
You pinched your lip between your knuckles, then heaved a sigh.
“Theo will be okay, right?”
“He will be more than okay because he is going to be surrounded by the people who can in fact teach him how to use his powers, something you can’t do,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with getting a little help, sunshine.”
You clicked your tongue, still keeping your gaze on the mansion.
“So let me guess,” she said, pulling you out of your thoughts. “This very very very hot man is tall.”
“Yes.”
“Looks cocky.”
“Uh…”
“And older than you.”
You blinked a couple of times, pulling your brows together. “How did you—?”
“You have a type.”
You drummed your fingernails on the steering wheel, then heaved a sigh.
“It’s fine,” you said. “I…I doubt I’ll talk to him ever again and you know, with Theo, I just don’t have the time for anything else right now.”
“I’m going to convince you otherwise but I’m going to need drinks for that.”
You breathed out a laugh, then checked the time.
“Gotta go,” you said. “I’ll see you tonight then?”
“Yep, love you!”
“Love you too!” you said and hung up, then tossed the phone on the passenger seat and started the car.
“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “I’m so gonna get drunk tonight.”
[2] - Summer Breeze
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shy-writer-999 · 2 months ago
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AHOY can i humbly request op men hcs for when they accidentally cum too early (monster trio + ace sabo law and kid) if you so desire 🤲
i got a couple requests about this same idea and i am so happy to oblige!! (afab reader) please note there are a handful of instances of "girl" being used in dirty talk! (´ ᴗ`✿)
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ZORO
He’s buried deep inside of you when he cums on accident.
He can’t help it, you’re just too wet and hot for him—he underestimated how close he was to cumming.
You’re both sitting up and you’re straddling him with your legs wrapped around him. Every time he fucks up into you, his tip nudges on your g-spot.
The dirty noises you make are what really drive him crazy.
Every time you say, “fuck Zoro,” or “feels so good, Zoro” his cock twinges—he can only take so much.
One particularly deep thrust and he’s convulsing and shuddering.
He can’t even get out a warning, he just explodes inside of you with a deep groan.
“Zoro, did you just cum? What the fuck”
“’m sorry babe”
His cum is leaking out of your cunt and you’re pouting because you were really looking forward to cumming on his cock.
“I wanted it, Zoro” >:(
He pulls out of you, and you whimper at the emptiness.
“I’ll make it up to you” he purrs in your ear, and you get goosebumps.
He picks you up and puts you on your back on the bed. He scoots down between your thighs and starts to fuck his cum back into you with his fingers.
“Does that feel good, baby?”
“Do you like it when I finger fuck you? You like how my fingers feel inside of you?”
You quickly become a fucked-out mess. He knows how to use his hands, that’s for sure.
He admires the cum seeping out of your entrance that he shoves back in with his fingers—it adds so much lubrication, and the idea that your wetness and his cum combined are being stuffed back inside of you gets him hard (again).
“Cum on my fingers, baby, juuusttt like that.”
SANJI
You’re riding him cowgirl-style when he cums inside you too early.
His hands are on your hips and he’s looking up at you, mesmerized by the way you roll your hips on his cock and by the way your tits bounce as you grind back and forth.
He’s lost in pleasure. Heat builds inside of him and every time you moan his name so sweetly, he gets closer to letting go.
Unexpectedly, his orgasm crashes on him like some huge wave, white-hot and crushing.
He bucks his cock up into you and his grip tightens on your hips, holding you in place.
He can feel your walls pulse around him, and you try to keep fucking him, not realizing what just happened—you’re confused at the fact that he’s making you stay still.
When you inspect his face further, he’s making that face, the face he makes when he orgasms.
His brows are pinched together, his eyes are closed, and his mouth is open. He’s making the cutest panting sounds and lets out the occasional muted whine.
“Fuck, my love, sorry”
“Sanji, did you just cum?”
“Mmmhmmm sweetheart, my bad”
He takes a couple moments more, surrendering to the last ripples of pleasure from his orgasm
“Just give me one minute and I’ll go for round two, gorgeous.”
His eyes are glossy, his cheeks are flushed, and his hair is ruffled—he looks messy, and it emphasizes how hot he is.
You make the move to pull off his cock, but his hands hold you in place.
“Hold on, angel, I’ll be ready in just a second.”
You huff and sigh, sitting there with his cock in you. It does feel good so there’s not much to complain about. Also, his refractory period is insane; he can go round after round, and he never fails to make you orgasm multiple times.
He’s like a rabid animal for your pleasure and he’ll do anything to get more.
After a few minutes, he’s ready to go again.
“Alright darling, keep riding me. Wanna feel you cum on my cock now.”
LUFFY
Luffy is fucking your doggy style with his chest pressing on your back.
His arms are wrapped around your waist and he’s fucking you hard and fast.
You have no clue what’s going on other than that Luffy is railing you into oblivion.
He’s literally feral and could fuck you for hours (and he does)
After so much toe-curling pleasure being extracted for your core, you’re sweaty, sticky, and dripping with own arousal.
There’s a small puddle underneath where he’s fucking you—drops of your own juices that have seeped downwards.
You can hardly talk at this point, the only word you can force out is his name “Luffy.”
In an instant he cums all over your insides, painting your insides white. It’s so much cum that it oozes out of your entrance and onto the base of his cock.
He knew that he shouldn’t have, but the orgasm had hit him like a train.
“Fuckkkk” he groans and pulls out of you.
“Luffy, did you just cum?” You’re annoyed because you had been so so close to orgasming.
“Yep” He’s nonchalant about it.
He doesn’t think it was such a big deal, but he knows that he should and will make you cum. He always does, so it’s no biggie if he released too early on this one. No matter what happens you will be more than satisfied.
So, he fingers you for a while until he can go again, then he fucks you so hard you see stars.
LAW
When he’s not making sweet love to you, he has a really dirty mouth.
He lets it all out shamelessly.
“Poor little thing. You need me to fix you up?”
His voice is deep and sounds like honey, with a sprinkle of smugness
He’d like you to beg him for it, he gets off on the idea that you need his cock so much you resort to being pathetic and whining for it.
“Yeah, you want my cock that badly? You wanna cum on my cock like a good girl?”
He’d fuck you prone bone and rub your clit at the same time, and when he gets tired of that he makes you ride him reverse cowgirl.
He is an ass man, there’s no question about it.
He’d grab fistfuls of your ass as he watches himself slide in and out of you.
As you spasm around his girthy cock, he starts feeling like he’s going to lose control.
He’d groan and growl at you to keep going, “ride it just like that and don’t stop.”
He’d throw in the occasional pet name—they only make an appearance in bed.
He’d praise you and tell you that you’re “doing such a good job for me, sweetheart, pussy feels like it’s made for me.”
Out of the blue, he’s cumming. He didn’t realize that he was at that point and he’s surprised.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, fuck.”
He loves to cum in you, but he pulls out at the last second and cums on your ass.
“Lawww,” you whine. “Wanted to cum on your cock. Why’d you pull out?”
He knows that he came far too early and he’s pretty embarrassed about it, he apologizes once but won’t say more than that.
His spur of the moment thinking is that if he pulled out before you orgasmed, he can eat you out until you cum on his tongue. He’s not a huge fan of a mouthful of his own cum so he had to prevent that.
When he goes down on you, he makes a real mess until his face and your thighs are covered in your juices.
He fingers you at the same time and alternates between licking your clit and fucking you with his tongue.
And boy, does he deliver. He eats you out so well that your orgasm is better than what it would have been if you came on his cock.
Your eyes roll back in your head, and you grab and pull on his hair so hard it hurts.
“All better now?”
ACE
Ace has you in a mating press, fucking you as deep as he can.
He has one of your thighs pushed up, his fingers are digging into your supple skin.
As he grunts out sweet things, he looks so damn hot.
His muscles are rippling, his hair is really messed up, and his freckles are scrunching up.
He just won’t shut up during sex, he knows you love hearing him.
“You’re so gorgeous with my cock in you.”
“Do you like how my cock feels, pretty girl?”
“So wet for me, sweetheart”
“Your cunt is so tight for me, beautiful, you’re doing such a good job.”
“Want you to cream on my cock, baby, let it all out for me.”
Before you actually can cream on his cock, the pace of his hips becomes frenzied and haphazard.
He’s groaning suspiciously deep and desperately—you wonder, is he about to cum?
He is, in fact, about to cum.
He gets so carried away by how your walls are squeezing him and how pretty your face looks that he shoots cum inside of you unexpectedly.
His hips come to a stop and he almost collapses on top of you.
“Fuck, babe, I’m so sorry, came too early” he’s pouting, you can tell he really is sorry.
You tell him it’s ok but he knows how badly you needed it.
“Let me make it up to you” he kisses your cheeks and forehead and then pulls out of you.
He goes to grab your vibrator and comes back.
Ace spreads your legs on the bed and one of his hands comes to hold your thigh down for better access.
He turns on the vibrator’s pulse setting and holds it up to your clit, you yelp in response.
"Fuck, Ace, feels so good” you keen his name as the vibrator’s pulses send zaps of electric pleasure to your core.
He starts to finger fuck you and you get to the point of orgasm rapidly.
“You’re doing such a good job, princess, just a little bit more.”
“Cum on my fingers, darling.”
You cum and gush all over his fingers.
Afterwards he gives you kisses and promises he’ll try his best not to cum too early next time.
SABO
Okay, so I DO want to write about Sabo but I fear I don’t know his personality much since he hasn’t reappeared where I’m at in the anime—it will only be in a few episodes though, I think! So I’m going to do my best guesses based on what I know about him. From my understanding he’s a little freak of a man, and by that I mean he’s HOT and I want him to be freaky in bed… Also he seems polite. AM I tripping or does it seem like he’d be the type to do love bites during sex and have a really dirty mouth? And he could get a little possessive…
Am I just projecting? … Probably. So here’s what I came up with:
He’s fucking you in missionary when he cums too early.
He’s in the middle of saying something really nasty.
One of his hands is braced next to your head and the other reaches down to rub circles on your clit.
When your hips jerk up in response, he has a little smirk.
“Does that feel good? You like it when I touch your clit?”
Because of his position, he gets a really deep angle, fucking down and into you.
He watches your face the whole time and adjusts his movements based on how much you moan or how contorted your face is with pleasure.
“Fuccckkkkk, you’re taking it so good.”
He adjusts his strokes to be as fast as they can, and when your fingernails start digging into his skin the pain pushes him over the edge (he likes it)
When he cums too early, he’s pretty dramatic about it.
Just shoots his cum inside of you with heaving breaths and the cutest O-face.
He apologizes a lot afterwards and will do anything you ask him to, so he can make up for it.
---
Also aaaghhhhh I wanna feed the kid lovers so bad but I fear I am just not attracted to him so I shan’t write for him (well, not right now at least…)
that's all for this one!! don't be shy to send over some pseudo-kinktober requests, check my masterlist for the info or just send over whatever pops into ur head lol.
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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 months ago
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Steve and Eddie work together in an aquarium, and Eddie is losing his mind. He's in love, he's got the most embarrassing crush, but Steve doesn't even notice him.
They barely interact, and Eddie only knows Steve's first name. He doubts Steve knows he exists, he's just one of many tour guides (but he's amazing with kids and especially teenagers, so he's actually a great tour guide, thank you very much!)
Back to Steve. Steve, with his lean muscles, easy smile, thick hair and beautiful, but somehow sad eyes. That Steve.
The Steve who works in the aquarium as a merman.
Eddie could watch him for hours, floating in the tank with grace Eddie didn't know existed, with his sparkly yellow mermaid tail, flowing hair and chest hair, and that man can hold his breath for so long? Think of the options, the possibilities!
The mermaid show is insanely popular among all the kids and teens, even adults. His best friend Chrissy was the one who recommended Eddie to the aquarium, she's the main mermaid, and god, if Eddie wasn't gay, she'd have him at her feet. She always looks so effortless, twirling underwater in her emerald green mermaid tail, spinning around Steve. They make such a beautiful pair, it makes Eddie want to weep.
Fortunately, she's already in a happy relationship, so Steve is reportedly still single. Chrissy makes Eddie massage her feet in the evenings - he offered, they're cramping from a bad fit of the tail - and graciously answers all Eddie's reasonable questions, such as "how do his hands feel?" ("Wet. We're swimming, remember?").
She keeps telling Eddie to ask Steve out, but Eddie isn't stupid. That man is the god Poseidon himself, and Eddie is but a humble crab in his kingdom. So he admires him from afar, longing, pining and making Chrissy's head hurt.
But Steve's just so good with kids, Eddie can't keep his mouth shut. He always mutters something to Steve as he's ushering the kids away. "Great show, sweetheart," or "I love that smile, Stevie," or "need help getting that tail off?" He's only a man, and no one can hear him.
Except for a nosy tour coordinator listening in through his earpiece, Robin Buckley. She also happens to be Steve's best friend, Chrissy's girlfriend, and a menace to society.
And maybe one day she tells Steve to just smooch the tour guide, maybe she spills a few of the longing whispers and wishful stares, but she's only human too. A human who's had to listen to Steve's ramblings about the cute guy who always pulls the kids' attention like a magnet, who even through the blurry glass tank seems to be having an amazing time. Steve sometimes asks Robin for an extra earpiece and listens to the rest of Eddie's tour after the show. He loves his enthusiasm. Once Eddie even drew a heart on Steve's tank, can you imagine that, Rob?!
Maybe Robin and Chrissy have to work together to give the two idiots what they need, because Eddie considers himself too nerdy and plain for Steve, ans Steve thinks he's too dumb and shallow for Eddie.
Maybe Chrissy fakes slipping into the mermaid tank and drags Eddie with her. Maybe Robin is there and quickly gets Steve to jump after him. Maybe she makes the innocent mistake of insuating that Eddie can't swim.
And maybe, when Steve and Eddie are back on firm ground, confused and wet, Chrissy splashes them with water and asks if pretending that it's mouth to mouth resuscitation would help, or if they can finally kiss and stop pining for each other.
And one more maybe...maybe in a few weeks, when Eddie ushers the children away after the show, he kisses his palm and presses it against the tank, and watches Steve do the same, before he can give him a proper kiss after their shift.
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tender-rosiey · 2 months ago
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maybe jelly — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: gojo getting jealous? 👁️👁️
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you arrive at jujutsu high, as you prepare for your guest lecture. you’ve given these talks before, but this time, something feels a little different—satoru is acting strange.
not that he’s ever normal, but today he seems extra…dramatic.
“you’re going to kill it, babe,” satoru says, draping his arm over your shoulders as you walk toward the classroom. his blindfold hides his eyes, but you can feel the intensity of his gaze, more focused than usual.
“you okay?” you ask, glancing at him with a teasing grin. “you seem a little... off.”
“me? off? never,” he replies, lips pulling into his trademark smirk. “just making sure no one gets too cozy with my brilliant wife. gotta make sure these kids remember you’re taken.”
you roll your eyes playfully, “I think everybody and their mother know that, satoru.”
time passes by, and now, you stand at the front of the lecture hall at jujutsu high, wrapping up your talk.
the students seem genuinely engaged, and one in particular, a young sorcerer named ren, is practically bouncing with enthusiasm, asking follow-up questions.
“and how did you manage to seal that curse without any physical confrontation?” ren asks, his voice brimming with admiration and curiosity.
before you could respond, satoru appears at your side with his usual confidence, his presence instantly commanding attention, “well, she is the wife of the gojo satoru. kinda comes with the territory,” he interjects, flashing his signature grin.
you shoot him an exasperated look, “I’m pretty sure my skills had something to do with it.”
satoru leans in close, nuzzling against your cheek affectionately before pulling back slightly. “oh, of course, sweetheart. you’re amazing, but it doesn’t hurt to be married to the strongest sorcerer around, right?”
ren blinks, clearly caught off guard by the interaction.
he glances between you and satoru, his expression a mix of confusion and awe. “I wasn’t aware you were married,” he mutters, his gaze flickering between you and satoru as if trying to process this new information.
you smile and give satoru a jab into his ribs that he takes like a champ, “yeah, he likes to remind people. it’s kind of his thing.”
satoru, never one to miss an opportunity to make a grand statement, leans down and places a soft kiss on the top of your head.
his arm slips casually around your waist, “just keeping things clear. y'know, in case anyone forgets that I get the honor of calling you mine.”
ren tries to steer the conversation back to his question, “so, about the sealing technique…”
satoru cuts him off again, stepping slightly in front of you with a playful yet firm stance.
“hey, hey, let’s not bombard her with too many questions now. she’s been on her feet alllll day, talking about all the cool stuff she’s done and showing everybody just how badass she is.”
you roll your eyes but can’t suppress a small smile. stepping around him to face ren again, you continue, “ignore him. the technique I used requires focusing on—”
satoru clears his throat dramatically, pulling you back to his side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, eyes boring into the poor boy even through his blindfold.
“you know what I think? I think my lovely wife deserves a break. maybe some alone time with her handsome, strong, and incredibly talented husband?”
you raise an eyebrow at him, your tone teasing. “handsome and humble, I see.”
satoru’s grin widens, and he leans down to whisper in your ear, “I can be both when it comes to you.”
you are about to retort back, but then you remember that ren is still here.
you turn to the boy with a smile and assure him, “anyway, ren, if you want to chat more about techniques, we can catch up later. after my husband gets over himself,” you hiss at the man who raises his hands in surrender.
ren, now visibly flustered and unsure, mumbled, “uh, I’ll… catch up with you later then. thanks for the talk!”
ren dashes out the room, slamming the door behind him. you tap your feet against the ground for a few minutes, before you elbow satoru again.
he stays standing up, chest puffed out and a big grin plastered on his face. you deadpan as you stare at your husband, “you really couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
satoru shrugs nonchalantly, still holding you close. he hums, giving you a kiss on the forehead, “what can I say? I don’t like sharing. besides, you are the wife of the strongest sorcerer; it’s important to make sure that’s clear.”
you roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile helplessly at your husband. your fingers find their way through his hair making him instantly melt. you giggle at your puddle of a husband, “you’re so lucky I love you.”
he tilts his head slightly, his eyes softening as he looks at you. “I love you more, soooooooooooo—”
“oh my god, I get it,” you laugh as you try to push him off. he resists with a whine as he nuzzles his face into your shoulder. you yield and let the silence fill the room.
he hums softly as you both sway mindlessly.
“but y’know,” you pull back slightly, smiling up at him, “you really do like to make an impression.”
he chuckles, his eyes twinkling with a mix of pride and mischief, “just doing my part to ensure everyone knows how lucky I am and how lucky they should feel to be in the presence of my extraordinary wife.”
he intertwines your left hands together and raises them slightly, showing off the rings. the sun makes them shine quite brightly, and it makes you sigh with a smile and satoru let out a huff of laughter.
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snowballseal · 3 months ago
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How they react to you feeling insecure (LaDS)
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Summary: How the Love and Deepspace boys react to you feeling insecure about various things. Includes Rafayel, Sylus, Zayne, and Xavier. Lots of fluff.
Word Count: they're all around 1000 roughly
Note: Warnings of different kinds of insecurity, ranging from physical to mental. I'm not sure of how well the Xavier one turned out, he's harder for me to write, but I couldn't leave him out!!! Anyways, hope yall enjoy!
Rafayel
His ended up being a lot longer, so it's posted separately.
here
--
Sylus
Being partners with Sylus is a…daunting position to be in.
You always considered yourself a fairly average person, more focused on who you are than what you look like. It’s not that you don’t like the way you look - you do - and you don’t like comparing yourself to anyone, but you don’t plan on being a model anytime soon. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Then you met Sylus, a man who looks like he was carved from the marble of ancient architecture. He could stand in a room of masterpieces and people would still look at him instead of the art. And since you’re by his side now, that means they’re also looking at you.
Being stared down by wanderers in one thing. Being stared down by the most powerful and prevalent members of the N109 Zone? You hate to admit that it gets to you. In fact, it gets so under your skin, that even when you’re dressed in the most extravagant dresses and decadent jewelry, you can’t help but feel…insecure.
Twisting in front of the mirror, you eye every detail of the dress Sylus bought you. It’s perfect, of course. The man has an annoying knack for getting you the most beautiful things and knowing exactly what fits you. The color compliments your hair and it’s comfortable to boot.
Still. You can’t help but feel like a kid trying to fit in at the adults table, wearing your mother’s heels even though they don’t fit. A bit ridiculous.
“Do you not like it?” Sylus appears behind you, dressed in a matching, lavish suit. 
You jump a little, eyes flicking up to meet his in the mirror. His eyes burn into you, reading the hesitation on your face as you curl your arms around your stomach. There’s no fiery retort or witty comment like usual. You just look back at your dress, the tips of your ears tinging pink.
A frown pulls at Sylus’ lips, his voice softening, “What’s wrong?”
“...Do you really think people believe us? That we’re together?” You ask quietly, shuffling your weight back and forth. “That I’m a good match for you?”
You’re keenly aware that you’ve never had a conversation like this with Sylus. For the most part your relationship has been filled with teasing and playful bickering. It’s always light. Or about work. This is new, and while you trust him more than anything, you hate not knowing how he will react.
Sylus hums, low and thoughtful, as he curls his arms around you, “Does it matter to you what others think?”
You let out a sigh, leaning back into his touch thankfully. You want to say no. You want to keep up the air of confidence, but that quiet voice of doubt keeps worming its way through your thoughts.
“I just…I feel like I’m not what people expect. And…” you try to explain, hesitating. Sylus presses a kiss to your shoulder, offering a hum of encouragement. Taking a deep breath, you add, “It bothers me. It feels like I’m being forced into the spotlight but I’m not meant to be there. Like I don’t fit.”
“Hmm, so you feel like an odd duckling.” You give him a small jab, and Sylus chuckles. “My apologies. I think you misunderstand the attention though.” He pulls you closer. You shiver as his lips trace along the crook of your shoulder, pressing delicate kisses up the side of your neck, until he can murmur lowly into your ear, “You’re too humble, kitten. When you walk into a room, all eyes turn to you, not out of judgment, but out of jealousy. Afterall, you’ve tamed the leader of Onychinus. Even if you walked in with your uniform, they’d look at you the same. And I get the pleasure of walking around with the most powerful-” He presses his lips to your jaw. “-beautiful-” His lips trace against your cheek. “-woman of Linkon City. Don’t let the attention of those lesser than you make you doubt, otherwise I might have to find another way to show them just how well we fit together.”
Sylus’ eyes catch yours in the mirror again. They’re dark, like coals surrounded by flickering cinders. So intense you can almost feel the flames licking along your skin. There’s not a doubt in your mind that he’s being genuine. And that sets your heart racing. Along with the way he holds you so close, equal parts possessive and reverent. Like worship.
“Your devotion might scare some people, Sylus,” you whisper, glancing sideways at him.
He flashes a dangerous smile, “Does it scare you?”
You cast one final glance at your reflections before turning around in his hold and curling your arms around his neck. Sylus raises a challenging brow.
“I’m not. I like how you stand up for me, even when it’s against my own insecurities.” You draw him down, pressing a kiss to that carnal smile. Sylus softens immediately, cupping your jaw to draw you into a deeper kiss. The warmth that simmers in each and every touch leaves you a little breathless when you pull away. Pressing against his chest before he can drag you in again, you make sure to say one last thing, “Thank you, Sylus. I’ll make sure to remember all of that…especially the part about you being wrapped around my finger.”
“Hmm, such a cruel mistress, indeed.”
“And you love me.”
A chuckle rumbles through his chest, “Yes, I do. So, will you accompany me to this auction now?”
---
Zayne
“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m going?” You ask, voice wavering with nerves as you straighten Zayne’s tie for him.
“Isn’t it natural to bring one’s partner to these kinds of events?” He tilts his head, brow perked ever so slightly.
You nod, but can’t seem to erase the frown on your lips.
A week ago, Zayne had asked if you would accompany him to his medical school’s class reunion banquet. He had been asked to give a special word, given the reputation he had developed in his time at Akso Hospital, not to mention winning the Starcatcher Award for his work.
At first, you were ecstatic to have an opportunity to learn more about his old life. He has such a thing about living in the present, you hardly get to hear any stories about his time in med school, or when he was doing rotations at the hospital. You were eager to meet the people who he used to spend time with and hopefully catch a few stories you could tease him with later.
But as the night drew closer, you started actually thinking about all the people you would be around, all of whom graduated from the same medical program Zayne did. You can only imagine how smart they all are. And how you’ll get lost the moment any medical jargon comes up. 
The more you think about it, the more nerves you feel buzzing under your skin. You know you’re not the smartest, not compared to Zayne at least. He’s a genius, after all, and could probably outsmart most anyone. You’ve always been better at the physical stuff. That’s what makes you such a good pair. 
It’s not like you can impress everyone by whipping your gun out and fighting, though. All you’ll have are your words, and you’re not particularly good with those…
You blink when a large hand suddenly circles your wrist. Glancing up, you find Zayne looking down at you, brows furrowed ever so slightly.
“While I appreciate your attention to detail, I believe you’ve been straightening my tie for five minutes now.” Heat creeps up your neck. You hadn’t even realized you had been lost in thought. Zayne’s eyes narrow inquisitively.  “What are you thinking about that has your mind so preoccupied?” 
His thumb brushes casually along the inside of your wrist, not so subtly checking your pulse. A strangely endearing habit of his when he’s worried about you. You let out a long sigh and hide your face against his chest, feeling the heat bleed across your cheeks.
How are you supposed to tell him that you’re insecure about how smart all his friends must be?
Zayne doesn’t push right away. He knows you’ll explain when you want to, and if you don’t, then he knows you’re not ready to. It was an unspoken rule between you, something you started with him because you noticed he likes to think his words out. It felt natural to offer you the same when you struggle to express yourself. Like now.
Ultimately, you figure it’s better to just be straightforward. That’s how he would do it, and it’s better than dancing around the subject.
“I guess I’m nervous because I feel like I’m going to be the dumbest person in the room tonight,” you mutter against his coat. Your fingers tap out an anxious beat against his abdomen. “It’s silly and I know it shouldn’t matter, but I just don’t want to make you look bad.”
Zayne remains quiet for a long minute. Your fingers move a little quicker, matching the stuttering rhythm of your heart. His hand slides up, gently trapping them against his body.
“Sorry,” you mumble.
“Physical tics are a common result of anxiety,” he hums dismissively, thumb smoothing over your knuckles. “As is your rapid heart rate. This truly bothers you.”
“Of course it does,” you sigh, a bit exasperated, ”You’ve worked hard to get where you are, Zayne. I love you so much, and I respect your work more than anything. I don’t, I don’t want to say something stupid and have it reflect on you badly.”
The doctor clicks his tongue, “First, I would prefer if you stop using that language to describe yourself.”
Your heart falters when his cool fingers touch your cheek, drawing your face up to his. He looks upset, but not exactly at you, the sharp line of his jaw contrasting with the softness of his eyes. Like it pains him that you think this way. Which it does.
“Those words don’t suit you. I wouldn’t allow another to call you them, so why would I allow you to?” He asserts, the corner of his lips twitching with distaste. “I don’t want to hear them again, do you understand?”
“Okay.” A thread of warmth curls around your heart when Zayne nods approvingly. His protectiveness really knows no bounds.
“Second, I do not agree with your diagnosis.” 
Your brow furrows a little. What? What does he mean, he disagrees? He’s literally surrounded by geniuses, you can’t match up to any of them if they’re anything like him. 
Seeing you start to overthink, Zayne shakes his head and gently pinches your cheek. You jolt back a little. The corners of his eyes crinkle, making you pout.
“Meanie,” you grumble, “Fine, explain your reasoning, Doctor Zayne.”
“It’s simple. Intelligence is made up of more than just academic knowledge, which, I assume, is what you are thinking of when you make such comments.” You nod. He’s not wrong about that, you guess. “Intelligence also includes the knowledge of how to use one’s strengths to achieve the best outcome. It is true that for some, this means using academic reasoning. However, it also includes those who develop the skills and discipline to maintain their bodies and fight for those who can’t, like…”
He pauses and gives you an expectant look.
“...me,” you finish slowly.
“Yes,” he hums, stroking the redness of your cheek, “I believe, under these standards, you are far more intelligent than most of the people you will meet tonight, darling. Though there is no comparison in the first place.”
His words sink in slowly but surely, filling in the cracks of your doubt. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he probably has some kind of healing magic, because you can already feel the burden of your insecurities melting away.
Leave it to Zayne to know exactly what to say, but in the most complex sounding way.
“You always know how to make me feel better, huh?” You ask, finally cracking that smile he loves.
“I am simply telling you the truth.” Zayne leans down, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “There is not a lifetime in which my reputation will be more important than you. I would gladly throw it all away if it meant reminding you of that.”
You snort, “Don’t do that, please. I can only imagine the fit Doctor Greyson would throw. He’d be so mad at me.”
“I can handle Doctor Greyson, in the same way I can handle everyone tonight.” He slips his fingers between yours, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles. You wiggle your fingers  happily and Zayne can’t help but grin to himself. “If at any point you find yourself uncomfortable, just stay by my side and I will act as your distraction. Though, I’m sure they will all love you, just as I do.”
“...Thank you, Zayne.”
“Of course, my jasmine.”
---
Xavier
Working with Xavier is a blessing, as much as it is a curse. You couldn’t ask for a better partner. Someone who you know will always have your back, who can handle himself completely, who is probably the most talented hunter you’ve ever met in your entire life. He’s undeniably amazing.
On the flip side of that, though, you often fall into the trap of thinking about how he deserves better. Wondering if, maybe, the only reason he chose to stay with you was because of the aether core in your heart. If that’s also the reason you’re in a relationship now…
And some days, these thoughts win out over the rest. Like today.
“What’s wrong?”
You blink, eyes flickering up from the bowl of ramen in front of you. Early on, you had started a tradition of eating a meal together after a successful mission, to just enjoy the peace of your home and each other. But today, you weren’t feeling that hungry, just…tired.
Xavier tilts his head, concern furrowing his brow - he noticed your mood start to shift days before, but didn’t want to push since you didn’t seem to notice it yourself. Now, though, it’s too obvious for him to ignore.
“I’m fine,” you sigh, flicking your chopsticks back and forth to watch the noodles swirl around in the broth, a small frown capturing your lips. It’s a horribly obvious lie.
“Is it something I did?” His voice isn’t accusatory or upset. It’s just a rational question to help him figure out what’s wrong. Still, you feel guilt tug at your chest, and you set the chopsticks down with another sigh.
You don’t want him to think that. You’d never blame Xavier for something like this. That would be like asking him to be a worse person, which is stupid. It’s just you. Your problem. Dragging him into it will only make you feel worse.
“No, Xavier, you didn’t do anything, promise. I’m not upset…with you.” 
“But you are upset.”
Chancing a glance up at him proves a bad idea, making it all that more difficult to keep your thoughts quiet. Behind his normal sleepy expression, worry gleams in the deep blue of his eyes, unyielding and undeniably calm, like waves lapping gently at the beach. 
The sight makes your heart ache and the words are tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them, “Do you think I’m actually a suitable partner for you?”
Surprise flickers across the hunter’s face. Of all the things he was expecting you to say, that wasn’t even on the list. He doesn’t laugh though, or take your question lightly.
“Do you mean, as a hunting partner? Or as a romantic partner?”
You shift uncomfortably, eyes falling back to your ramen, “I don’t know. Both, I guess?”
He hums softly. You try to ignore the nerves fluttering in your chest as Xavier gets up, watching him out of the corner of your eye as he circles the table to stand next to you. The hunter drips his head, catching your gaze.
“May I see your hand?”
A small frown pulls at your lips, not exactly sure where he’s going with this, but you offer him your hand anyways. Xavier takes your wrist, touch featherlight, and moves it so your hand is held up flat, facing him. Your brow furrows.
“Xav-”
“Look.” 
Pursing your lips, you let out a little huff. He really hates giving direct answers, doesn’t he? Still, you’re in no place to really judge him, or expect anything for that matter. He’s always been a bit of a mystery to you.
You watch as Xavier places his hand against yours. His palm is warm and you can feel the calluses from who knows how many years of hunting. Your hand looks tiny in comparison, his pale, delicate fingers long enough to curl over your own a little. The sight makes your heart squeeze, fondness competing with the feeling of being so…small.
“They’re pretty different,” Xavier hums, voice still calm, his own eyes fixed on your hands. “Your fingers are always cold, and your hands are small. You have a scar here.” His free hand grazes the side of your palm, along your pinky. “And here” He traces another along your knuckle. Your breath falters at the tenderness behind his touch, like you’re delicate porcelain. “Mine are in different places. Yours are skilled at weaving silk balls and mine can…open jars.”
You snort. Xavier’s eyes dart up to yours, sparkling with humor, a brow raised. You try to smother your laughter, rather ineffectively, and motion for him to continue.
“They’re different, but-” His fingers spread apart, and you mimic him instinctually, only for his fingers to slot between yours in one fluid motion. You inhale softly, laughter dying in your throat. It’s like two puzzle pieces fitting together, a perfect embrace that washes over you with a comforting warmth.
Xavier watches you, keenly aware of the way you squeeze his hand tightly, desperately, like you’re worried it might disappear. He gives yours a tender squeeze in return, thumb brushing over your knuckle.
“I think they’re a suitable match. Don’t you?”
God, how could you go without this man? The worries that have been pricking at the back of your mind all week seem to melt away. It leaves you with that warmth, the kind that only comes from Xavier, that he offers you over and over again.
You give his hand another squeeze, finally smiling, “Yah. I do…Thanks, Xavier.”
The hunter leans down, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. You can feel his lips brush against your skin as he murmurs, “Let me know if you ever feel this way again, angel. I’ll be more than glad to remind you.”
“I will.”
---
This was really fun to write!!! I really hope you guys like it! There are so many freaking tags on this puppy.
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