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yanjuniverse · 7 years ago

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This Small Town ; prologue

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“Daddy!” Yuqi groans, stomping her little foot in the floor. “We’re going to be late for school!”

“Can’t Uncle Kun drop you off? Why are you so needy now a days?” he sits up, rubbing his eyes. Yuqi simply puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot expectantly. “Fine, fine. I’m up, kid. Where’s my good morning kiss?”

“You can have it when you brush,” she sticks her tongue out before running out of the room.

“You have got to stop hanging out with Uncle Zhangjing!” Yanjun calls after her. Yanjun collects himself and heads off to the bathroom, laughing at her antics. “Darn kids,” he mutters as he squeezes some toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

He likes who Yuqi’s grown up to be. At just seven, she’s very smart and witty. Her snappy attitude causes Yanjun to double over in laughter and he likes that she can take a joke. She’s also very strong headed and if she puts her mind to it, she could probably conquer the world. Yanjun thanks the gods up in heaven every day for sending him a little angel like Yuqi who is so kind hearted, so independent and so strong.

“And what’s nine times nine?” Yanjun hears Ziyi asking Yuqi as he enters the kitchen.

“Eighty one,” she replies.

“Ten times ten?”

“One hundred!”

“What’s 2,389 times 7,109?” Yanjun cocks his eyebrows. Yuqi thinks for a second before her eyes light up. She turns to Ziyi and fishes his phone out of his pocket before turning back to her father while punching the numbers in. “Who raised you to be such a smart ass?” Yanjun gawks, snatching the phone away and placing it on the counter.

“You did,” she retorts, causing Ziyi to break into a fit of giggles. “Did you brush your teeth, Daddy?”

“Nope,” he replies, leaning in and huffing into her face. He is, of course, kidding but she still shoves him away and cringes. “Hey, I used to have to clean poop out of your pants. The least you could do is love me even when I have morning breath.”

Yuqi pouts but comes back and kisses her father. “Now let’s go! I’m going to be late for my first day!” she yells, tugging his shirtsleeve. Yanjun grabs his jacket and throws it over his head, causing Yuqi to look at him up and down. “Dad.”

“Yuqs.”

“Are you going to drop me off dressed like that?! You still have your pajamas on!” she squeals. “Everyone is going to think my dad is a mess!”

“Your dad is twenty-three! Everyone is a mess at twenty-three!” he throws his hands down.

“But does everyone have to know?!” she whines.

“You have the hottest dad in the second grade,” he scoffs. “And I told you to tell Uncle Kun to drop you off but you insisited it be me.”

Yuqi rubs her temples much like she’s seen her father do a thousand times. “Please? At least put on some jeans?”

“Fine,” he grumbles. “If we’re late-“

“I’d rather be late than laughed at,” she mutters.

“In that case, Uncle Ziyi is coming with to cheer you on for your first day. Right, bro?” Yanjun claps him on his shoulder. Ziyi laughs, agreeing. The little girl has a mortified expression on her face now. “Why don’t you ring up Zhangjing to meet us there?”

“No, Uncle Chin doesn’t need to meet us there-“

“Oh! And Xukun is up!” Yanjun cheers as the sleepy twenty year old walks into the kitchen. “Join us, Xukun. We’re going to go and embarass - I mean, cheer Yuqi on for her first day!”

“WE’VE WASTED TOO MUCH TIME!” Yuqi screams, grabbing Yanjun’s wrist and running out the door with him.

Yanjun wants to laugh even harder. He loved to embarrass his little Yuqi. She had the funniest reactions in his eyes. She totally gets her comedic side from me, he nods proudly as he buckles her in.

On the drive to school, Yanjun rambles on and on to her about the schedule for the day. “And Justin will pick you up after school and walk you home. Got it?” Yanjun says, eyeing her through the rearview mirror.

“But what if Chengcheng-ge comes along?” she crosses her arms.

“Do you...not like Chengcheng?” he asks.

“When it rains outside, Chengcheng likes to chase me with worms!” she complains.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing that it won’t rain today,” Yanjun teases as they pull up to the school. “I was going to send Linong but Linong is class president or whatever this year and can’t seem to get out of it. I mean, who does that guy think he is?”

“The class president,” Yuqi retorts as she unbuckles herself. “And I guess Justin-ge and Chengcheng-ge are better than Linkai-ge. He likes to walk in through the alleys because he says it’s a short cut to our apartment building!”

“He does what?!” Yanjun gasps. He makes a mental note to never have the college sophomore ever pick his daughter up ever again. “Linkai is going to get it when I see him.”

“Do you think Linkai-ge can come to my dance recital?” Yuqi asks as she slides out of the car and stands before her father, who is squatting in front of her to fix her uniform.

“Probably. He really likes you, kid,” he replies. “Now, what are the rules for the new school year?”

“Don’t let anyone talk down on me, don’t let anyone take my lunch money, and never throw the first punch,” Yuqi nods.

Yanjun’s face drops. “Stop hanging out with Uncle Zhangjing!” Yuqi smiles innocently at him and all of his anger fades. He sighs and pinches her cheek. “Be kind to your peers, call Dad first then Uncle Ziyi and never, ever throw the first punch,” he tells her. “Will you be okay today? You sure you don’t wanna just like...stay home forever?”

“And do what? Lay on the couch all day like Chengcheng-ge?” Yuqi raises her eyebrows.

Yanjun snorts, “You’re right. The last thing we need is another freeloader.”

“How much longer are we going to live with Uncle Ziyi and Uncle Zhangjing?” It’s an innocent question, Yanjun knows. But it still stabs him in the heart. “I want to have sleep overs at my house but you said I can’t because we live with too many people.”

“Soon,” he tells her. “Dad just has to get a good job and then we can live on our own.” He cocks his head to the side and pouts. “What? You don’t like living with Dad’s best friends?”

“Too many boys,” she shakes her head. “Nothing is sacred in our house. And Uncle Kun doesn’t even play with me anymore because he says he doesn’t want to act cute. Did you hear that, dad? Uncle Kun? Not cute? Puh-lease,” she rolls her eye, flicking her pigtail off of her shoulder.

“How about I set up a tea party for you and I this Friday? I’ll even cut up the sandwhiches in those fancy little triangles like in the princess movies.” Yuqi beams, nodding along excitedly. Just then, the first bell rings. Yanjun sticks his pinky out to the girl and smiles. “Lin Yanjun.”

“Lin Yuqi,” she wraps hers around his.

“L.Y. love you!” they chant together.

Yanjun stands up and smiles at his child. “Yuqi, are you sure you don’t want me to take you to class?” he asks.

“Maybe tomorrow,” she pats his stomach. “Don’t you have work today?” He hums, nodding. “I’ll see you later, Daddy. Don’t be late to dinner, okay? Uncle Zhangjing promised that we’re going to eat fried chicken!”

“Okay, Yuqs.” Yanjun leans down and presses a small kiss to her forehead. “I’ll catch you later, kiddo. Call me if anything.”

Yuqi waves as she runs into the school building. He waits for her to disappear completely before he slides back into the car, exhausted.

He had been up until two trying to make sure Yuqi had all her things together. On top of that, he was searching for better jobs so that he and Yuqi could perhaps move out in the years to come. He also had a late shift at the diner to top it all off and would have to go back by noon.

He throws his head against the seat of the old, used car and shuts his eyes. It’s so hard sometimes, he thinks. All of these random shifts at the diner, trying his best to make sure Yuqi has everything she’ll ever need, having to live with his friends because he can’t support his own child.

Child.

He shakes his head at the thought. He was only a child when Yuqi was born. Sure, he knew about teen pregnancy and that “don’t be silly, wrap your willy” type shit. But he was wreckless as a teenager and thought that things like that wouldn’t happen to someone like him. Boy, was he wrong.

That’s how he became a father at the age of sixteen.

He remembers how mean his parents had been about him having a child. He remembers how they used to deprive him of the baby, shove his hands away and tell him to go and study. He remembers they would laugh in his face when he would ask for money for diapers. “How could you have been so stupid to have a child when you can’t even support yourself?” his father told him, slamming the door in his face as he took the child away from him once more. And Yanjun had to take it for two more years because he really was on his own.

When Yuqi was born, he still remembers her mother staring at the baby. She wanted nothing to do with her and threatened to drop the child if Yanjun even stepped her way. Yanjun didn’t understand. He thought she was excited. But she explains that her parents made her carry the child to term and that she never wanted to have the stupid thing. Yanjun wouldn’t force her to stay. He wouldn’t force anyone to stay in Yuqi’s life if they didn’t want to.

So, for two years, he faced he abuse of his parents at the sake of Yuqi before he ran away with his best friend Zhangjing and Ziyi. They had all gone to high school together and they also worked at the same fast food restaurant after school. He saved up enough money and with nothing but Yuqi’s diaperbag, he ran and never looked back.

It was really hard for him at first. He had a two year old child to take care of. The two boys, who were not that much older than him, knew little to nothing about how to take care of a kid. Not to mention Yuqi was in the midst of her terrible twos, toddling around, falling, crying, whining as her teeth came in.

Yanjun cried a lot his first year away from home. He struggled with school and work and being a father. He had to plan his schedule exactly so that someone would be home with Yuqi at all times. But he’s thankful that he had Zhangjing and Ziyi. They helped it. They made it work. The three of them even took mommy and me classes whenever they could. They learned to cook, clean and take care of Yuqi.

Along the way, Yanjun met Chengcheng and Justin, a pair of half brothers. They lived in his apartment building and really liked to play with Yuqi when Yanjun brought her down to the playground. They were gentle kids, with Justin being only eleven and Chengcheng being thirteen when they met. They grew up alongside Yuqi. Yanjun slowly grew closer to the pair of preteens. He found them helping out around his apartment whenever he was juggling things on his head. Their parents even volunteered to help Yanjun out whenever Yuqi was sick, whipping her up some herbal medicines for free. They occasionally babysat Yuqi until Chengcheng was old enough to watch a four year old on his own. By then, Chengcheng promised to watch Yuqi in exchange for snacks and something from the diner when Yanjun got done working. As Yuqi grew older, she came to think of the two boys as her brothers.

Then there was Xukun. Xukun and Ziyi started dating a little before Ziyi moved out here. They were an online thing or whatever. Yanjun warned Xukun that he better stay with Ziyi forever once he saw Yuqi developing a relationship with him. He doesn’t want people to walk in and out of her life. Xukun would simply smile and move in with them a month later. “Looks like I’m not going anywhere,” he smirked as he emptied out his suitcase.

Next, he met Linong. The kind boy with soft eyes who worked in his parent’s grocery store. He saw Yanjun a lot, especially late at night since their store was open until midnight. Linong would always talk with Yuqi when she came in and would give her free candy. Linong could tell that Yanjun was a single dad and respected him because he grew up with a single mom. So, whenever Yanjun would be a little short, Linong would tell him to pay it back whenever he could and would send them on their way. Linong would later teach Yanjun about budgeting and couponing. Now, Yanjun’s apartment looked like a grocery store in itself. He was proud of his stockpile to say the least.

Finally, Yanjun had Linkai. Linkai was a friend of Chengcheng’s. He was a kid who sort of reminded Yanjun of himself. He was wreckless and carefree. When Linkai got kicked out by his parents, he ended up moving in with Justin and Chengcheng. Yanjun still remembers that he never wanted Linkai near his child. His prejudice getting the best of him as he saw the angsty teenager walking up and down their hallway at some ungodly hour, headphones shoved into his ears, the music blaring.

It wasn’t until Yuqi would start going on and on about Justin’s cool friend who stands up for her whenever the boys at the park threw sand into her hair did he start to pay more attention. He noticed how easily Linkai would change in front of Yuqi. While others saw a delinquent, she saw a friend. They talked about anime together. Linkai had all the cool Pokemon cards and could recite all the words from the first season of Naruto. On Yuqi’s birthday, he bought her a giant Peppa Pig plush that she still sleeps with to this day. It was then that Yanjun relaxed a bit more.

But he could never relax too much.

Yanjun opens his eyes back up and speeds off towards the apartment building. He had a job interview in an hour. He still neeeded to shower. He still needed to take his clothes from the dyer. He still had so much to do in such a small amount of time.

But this was Yanjun’s life. It’s all he knows now. Sleepless nights couldn’t face him anymore. He was on the right track. He had a good amout of money saved away, Yuqi was happy and healthy, his friends were all growing happily next to him.

This was his family now, he thinks as Zhangjing shoots him a text reading “JAIYOU YANJUN!” Even moreso when Ziyi claps him on the shoulder and explains that he already hung his suit up so it wouldn’t get all wrinkly. He thinks about the other boys as he passes a group picture he has framed on his desk and prays that he gets this job.

It’s for a magazine. If he gets it, he’ll get to work from home. He’ll get to write about Yuqi and his life, parenting and advice. Not to mention, he would be under the alias of Evan Lin so that his parents couldn’t find him.

Yanjun prays once more to the same gods that gave him Yuqi that they bless him once more.

Please, he whispers. I don’t want to miss another day of her life.

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nurseshannansreviews · 6 years ago

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ourseasanddreamslove-blog · 7 years ago

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Mrs Alvarez’s Pot

"No. No. No. please tell me You didn't ask me to let someone you think is commiting domestic violence stay." They ran down the sidewalk to her building. "You know What tends to happen, they vanish and tada..I look like a friggin serial killer, " she panted.

" I, well... He's a friend of mine and damn it. And I don't know anything for sure" the officer wheezed.

They reached the front door of the shop, breathless and sweaty from the 3 block run in the late August heat. No way were they going through her currently open cafe and book shop. Seph pulled the officer around to the side entrance.

"Hello Seph" said a frail, barely there whisper from above. Seph and the officer spun around looking up. There was Mrs. Alvarez on the balcony of her second floor apartment... Tending her jungle of potted plants.

"Mrs. Alvarez, have you seen a blond and 2 small kids leave? She was staying with her family, but wasn't up for the Comic-Con and decided to stay behind with her kids. Her husband hasn't been able to reach them since earlier this morning. "

Seph looked at officer Kevin MacDermott, also know as Mac, while she asked. Mrs. Alvarez missed little that happened in the neighborhood, but was often dismissed as most of the neighbors though she was bordering on crazy. "No, dear." The wispery voice got a bit stronger. "But I got a new pot. It is a pretty golden color, would you like to come and see?"

Sephs heart sank. She had noticed a pattern when it came to Mrs alveraze's pots and missing people but maybe this time it was just a new pot. Officer Mac hadn't noticed yet. But he didn't live in the neighborhood. "Thanks, Mrs Alvraze, maybe in a bit" she replied.

Seph put the code in and the lock clicked. They headed up the blessed cool steps to her third floor where the furnished guest apartment were. "Right now I'm so mad at you. What were you thinking? Were you thinking?"

"It's just a rumor, Seph. One that's been around since long before you owned the building. Hell, it's been around since my Grammy was little." Mac said sheepishly.

They got to 3A and knocked. A pale little girl with huge dark eyes and short dark chocolate colored curls opened the door. "Not supposed to talk to strangers" she said softly, looking over her shoulder.

"It's ok" said Mac. "I'm a police office. My name is officer Mac. This is Ms Seph. Your daddy sent us to check on you and your mommy. He couldn't reach you guys on the phone. "

Th pixie child was still looking at something (someone?) behind her when she "if you think it's ok". She opened the door more and stood aside. Officer Mac went in first.

Seph followed in cautiously, note of the state of the entryway. Someone had tried to clean and organize the shoes, stroller, and in the entry table maps,tickets and a diaper bag. But it looked like a dervish had come through and .. The little girl looked at her and said. "Daddy put everything together so we could go see him and the Comic-Con. But Mommy got mad when he left and knocked a bunch of stuff over. Katie didn't like that. the baby was crying. Mommy gave him a bottle and went to take a shower. she's still in the shower. The baby stinks. Can Katie and I watch Sesame Street?

Seph knew then. "Hey Mac, go check the shower for Ana, but be careful.

"Sweetie," she spoke, as she crouched to eye level to the pixie child, " Why don't you take me to your brother and then I'll find you and Katie something to watch. My name is Ms Seph. What's yours? "

Mac headed down the master bedroom with its private bath. The room trashed. Sheets ripped off the bed. Mirror smashed. Vase pieces and flowers scatter in the mess of clothes and luggage. he could hear The water was running in the shower as he gingerly .stepped through the mess. Yep, he thought glumly Seph probably wasn't going to take any referrals from him anytime soon. And she'd be wanting to press charges for destruction of property.

Mac made it to the bathroom door wincing slightly as he heard the crunch of glass under his boot. "Ana" he said loudly as he knocked. "Ana, Nic sent us to check on you guys. He hasn't been able to reach you. Mac heard no answer or any other sounds but the running water.

"Katie says you're nice. My name is Lara, " said the pixie girl. She tentatively took Seph offered hand and led her into the trashed great room. A child's effort has been made to pick up the few toys that were there and put them back in the bin. However, the throw pillow were slashed and couch and chair cushions were tossed everywhere. and the curtains were pulled down. This wasn't from child's play either. Those curtains were well and truly anchored in because children occasionally stayed and from experience would play and tug at them. Seph was seathing. And a bit scared. Ana would be gone. She knew it. But first things first Lara and baby.

Seph walked to the playpen, hesitantly unsure of what she was going to find. If Katie was around then Mary would be. But there was only so much they could do. The boy was fretting in his sleep and looked tiny for his age... Possibly malnourished? Come to think of it Lara was tiny too. Maybe they were just small people. But Lara was right and the baby stank. So she lifted him up and headed to the dining table without looking.

"Lara, Sweetie, can you show me where to get a diaper, wet ones, and a fresh outfit? " Seph turned to asked the little girl who was sucking on her index and ring finger. Lara flinched and removed her fingers quickly at being seen. " Maybe in diaperbag? In the hall? " They went together to get the bag and headed back to the table where they halted... Broken plates, scraps of breakfast and cutlery were on the table... Seph was barely holding on to her temper.

Mac came out quietly and looked around. "Seph, I'm sorry. I, um, maybe you should take Lara and Will to your apartment. I.. I need to make some calls. And security feeds, cameras, reports... I don't know. Seph, resigned to the inevitable, turned to Lara. In her small wispery voice Lara said "Katie says its ok we can go with you." Carrying the baby in one arm and with the little girl firmly grasping her other hand they headed out of the apartment

Seph promptly turned to the elevators at the far end of the hall. Ok "Lara i don't live in this floor. We need to take the elevator to the next floor up. Are you ok with pushing the buttons? And I have a tv. We can get you some Sesame Street and a snack while I clean up your brother. Officer Mac said his name is Will" Seph rambled on.

Katie pushed the elevator buttons in the hall but couldn't reach the ones inside. The elevator was never Seph's favorite place and she was glad they only were traveling one floor. The elevator opened to her door. She unlocked it and ushered the small girl in.

She got the small girl settled on the vintage gray couch with a fuzzy throw and her Sesame Street. " I'll be right back with a snack as soon as I get your brother cleaned up. What would you like? I have Apple slices, crackers and cheese, and cupcakes. " Lara said nothing just gazed at her with wide eyes and then turned back to the tv.

By this time, Will had woken up and was becoming a squirmy, stinky mess. But not a loud one. That broke her heart. Seph cleaned him up in her kitchen skink... Her heart breaking more over faded bruises. She fussed over him babbling and explaining like she used to do when her own were small. She grabbed the bag but it had no additional bottles. She shot Mac a text to bring her up a few and some formula.

She laid Will on a Afghan on the kitchen area floor and slice up an Apple for his sister and gave her one of the finger to cupcakes as well.. And after debating for a few moments made Katie plate as well. She put both small plates and glasses of grape juice on tray and carried them to the coffee table in front of where Lara was sitting. Lara smile in delight at seeing the treat. Seph still had an eye on Will due to the open floor plan.

She has just moved back to the kitchen and bent down to pick up the boy when the doorbell rang. Her more tech savy than her kids had it programmed to play the Addams family. She smiled a little as she went to answer her door. There was Mac with 3 empty bottles... And no formula. She sighed. She wasn't going to like this.

"I can't explain it. The bottles were setting on the counter ready to go but every canister was dumped or spilled." Mac looked puzzled. Seph was horrified. If Mary ruined it then she felt something was wrong with it.

"Have it tested" Seph gently told him. " Have you gotten a hold of your friend to let him know? Or your superiors? What are you doing about Ana since I'm assuming you didn't find her. "

There was a gentle knock on the door, interruptingher. Seph moved to answer it and there stood Mr. Jabco with 3 cans of sensitive baby formula. "Mrs Alvarez said you could use this." He handed them over to a resigned looking Seph as she tried to juggle the baby and the cans. "She already paid for it so take it up with her".

Mac looked dumbfounded and took the cans from Seph as Mr. Jabco waved and left. Just before the elevator closed Mr. Jabco caught the door and said "since your grocery order is going to change for tomorrow could you give me an extra hour to get it ready. Thanks Ms. Seph" he said with a wink.

Seph turned to Mac, "about those questions...? She asked over her shoulder as she headed to the kitchen to make a bottle for the increasingly fussy baby.

Mac still stammering, set out the formula on the counters, said " Nic will be here as soon as he can. Dective Domino said she'd be here shortly but discretely and what the fuck? Seph, it's like you in this neighborhood have all already decided she's gone and never coming back. And how the hell did that crazy bat from next door know about the formula? She lives in the other side of the building!!! "

Sep's eyebrow raised with her temper as she placed the baby back on the floor, made his bottle and cleaned up quickly. She picked up the now crying baby, sat at the table where she could keep an eye on Lara and began to feed him.

"What do you want me to say? Mrs Alvarez often sends formula and baby food because we have more than a few single moms fleeing domestic abuse who leave with what they can carry. As for Ana? Could she have just walked out with anyone noticing? Probably! Is it likely? No! And Mr. Jabco... Yep my grocery order is changing because my kids are home from visiting their grandparents" She paused from the feeding and the quiet but angry tirade to gently burped the baby before starting to feed him again.

The door bell rang, just then and Seph got up from the table to answer it, hands full of baby and bottle. Mac huffed and got the door for her. It was Sergeant Domino. She came a petite dynamo in full of loud energy but quieted down when she saw the sleepy baby in Seph's arms and the dark frightened eyes pop over the back of the couch. "Um ... Privacy? " asked Dom?

"Maybe the library?" offered Seph. "And the moses basket is in there." They headed to the library but Seph stopped and turned around. "Lara honey" she asked "These poliece officers and I need to talk. Are you ok? Let me show you the bathroom, just in case you need it. Follow me just down this hall and right here it is. I'll lev e the light on just in case you need it. If you need anything come to the library. I'll leave that door open for you, also." Lara nodded and crawled back on the couch to watch Mr Rogers Neighborhood. She blinked a few times and yawned.

Dom, Mac and Seph headed to the library. They sat and waited while Seph fussed over getting Will in the basket. Then she sat down and the quiet streched. Seph looked out the window at the storm darkening sky. Then she looked at Dom. "Ana is gone. Right? Missing from the bathroom with the shower left running. The apartment is trashed and the kids were left alone. I'm guessing with everything messed up its hard to tell if anything is missing, right now."

"No, Seph you can't clean it right now. I know your skin is crawling but no. " Dom spoke gently but firmly , forstalling her next question. "I'm going to have a discrete forensic team come in but... " the long pause said it all.

What do we tell Mr. Rider? That the apartment ate his wife... "

"Girlfriend" interjected Mac.

"Girlfriend, then because the she was a horrible housekeeper? they've been there less than a week and..." Seph trailed off shuddering in disgust. but more than likely it was because the dead suspected or witnessed possible abuse? The Katie, Lara is taking about and the shimmer that can be seen hovering over the baby are ... The ghosts of the last victims and are here to protect those that can't protect themselves? There will never be a body because to date people go missing and frankly they are the ones no one cares and no bodies have ever been found? Yep, that 'll work." Fumed Seph.

Mac looked horrifiedas he glanced toward the sleeping baby. Was that a faint shimmer? This was as open as he had ever heard anyone be about what happened.

Dom shook her head. "We treat this like always ... It going to be difficult since she was a guest here... And how did that happen usually you are so careful? You, shit, the whole dam n neighborhood knows what happens when " The doorbell interrupted Dom. Seph rose and shot Mac an angry glare.

"Ask him! " Seph snapped as she rose to answer the door.

#story #mrs alvarez pot

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urbanhandmadecollection · 5 years ago

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apisceanwriter · 3 years ago

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I stopped carrying purses, handbags, etc after we had our first child. I carry a wallet that I place inside of our kids' diaper bag. I keep 2 outfits per kid, all of their diapers and pullups. Extra socks and shoes. A can of formula, a bottle and two sippy cups. A few bottle of waters to mix the baby bottles out on the road. I also have period items in there and a toy per kid. And a baby blanket. That is it. I am just not a fan of purses etc. #bags #diaperbags

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tiredmama16 · 4 years ago

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Orchid Hearts Milan Leather Diaper Bag - Review

A full review of the Orchid Hearts Milan Leather Diaper Bag is available now on my blog! #orchidheartsdesign #orchidhearts #leatherbags #diaperbags #reviews #momblogger

In case you may have noticed, I am kind of obsessed with bags! My youngest is 4 and and my oldest is 9 so you could say I don’t really need a diaper bag anymore but how else am I going to carry their snacks, drinks, jackets, toys, and more?! Even without kids I pack so much stuff just for me. Having a bag that holds a ton that is both functional and stylish is essential! So when I found Orchid…

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summerxevans · 4 years ago

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Para for Assignment | BDSM on a Budget

Who: Summer and @domitxnate When: November 15th - 20th (ish) Description: It may seem like an odd coupling, but Nate and Summer have more in common than most people realize. They chose to pair up to do this assignment together because they both felt others wouldn’t quite understand why it caused them such emotional turmoil. Despite that, they got through it together. Content Warning: Grief, discussion of miscarriage

The baby was oddly realistic, in an almost creepy sort of way. Summer was currently sitting on the couch in Nate's living room, cradling the small bundle and watching it breathe. Thats right... it fucking breathes. It added to the realism, she supposed. With real babies you had to make sure they were always able to breathe whenever you set them down or put them in a car seat. "I guess our first big parenting decision is what to name it, right? We can't just call it "the baby" all week..."

Nate walked back into the room as Summer held the baby, pushing down the imaginary memories he'd created in his head over the years. "I s'pose if we gotta pretend it's real, right?" he agreed. "Do we even know if it's a boy or a girl? Or is it a non binary baby?"

"I think its non-binary, so I guess we can pick?" She shrugged. "Got any suggestions?" Summer couldn't stop staring at it. It was surreal. It was a baby, but... not a baby. And it was hers, but... not hers. She had no idea what to feel right now.

"I'd prefer a girl," he said softly, hoping they could just bypass the whole re-hasing of old wounds. "Maybe somethin' like...Delilah? Or Savannah?" he offered, having literally no clue where to go.

Summer nodded. "Sure. She can be a girl..." she considered the names, but neither of them really seemed to grab her. "What about Phoenix?" She suggested.

Nate hummed as he thought it over. It was alittle weirder than he'd name an actual child, but there was certainly something profound about it. "Alright," he agreed with a nod, "Phoenix it is."

Summer smiled, starting to feel a little better now that they'd given the baby a name and personified her a bit. She looked up, finally. "Do you want to hold her, Sir?" She offered, not wanting to be selfish.

Nate licked his lip as he looked down at the baby in Summer's arms - more realistic than he thought was posisble. They were going to have to pretend this thing was real, and honestly, there was no time like the present. He nodded and leaned towards her, carefully lifting the baby from her mother and holding her against his chest. "This is...kinda crazy," he said with a soft scoff, but the smile soon took it's place. "She's kinda beautiful," he whispered, "Hey baby girl."

Summer gently relinquished the baby to Nate, and watched as he got her settled into his arms. She gave an awkward nod in agreement, it was kind of crazy... but when he smiled and greeted the baby so softly, Summer couldn't help but melt a little. That moment right there just made it feel so much more real than it was, and she wasn't sure why that was making her tear up a little bit.

"Alright," she said quietly with a deep sig, "So, we wanna do this totally realistically? Like, as if we were together in some way, with a baby? Or are we just focused on the baby raisin' part?"

"Oh. Um, I don't know." She said, caught off guard by the question. She quickly steeled herself against the emotions threatening to overtake her. "Um, I think maybe we should just focus on the baby raising part? I don't know how Sam will feel about us pretending we're together or something, and as fun as it is to tease him, I don't want to hurt him." She reasoned.

Nate thought over Summer's thoughts and nodded as he conceded to her words. "That's a decent point. I didn't really mean like sex or whatever. More like, rules or expectations or somethin'," he confirmed. "But I see you're point," he agreed as the baby in his arms started to cry. "Shh, shh, it's okay," he cooed softly, rocking the doll in his arms slightly.

"I know you didn't, Sir. But I think even use pretending like we're married or something might upset him... But we probably should have some sort of rules or expectations. Like, how do we divide up classtime with her fairly? And if one of us wants a night off to go hook up with someone or even just go out, is that fair to the other person or do we-" She cut off as the baby started to cry, and she swallowed. She watched as he shushed the doll and settled her, and once she seemed a bit less fussy she continued, this time with her tone a little softer. "Point is, we should definitely lay down some rules, I think." She concluded. "Do you think she's hungry?"

"Yeah, maybe that's not a bad idea," he agreed, "though I do think Phoenix has to be our number one priority. I mean, it's five days," he pointed out, "A break is certainly one thing, but I dunno that I wanna be the parents that leave her to go out and stuff." The doll settled a bit, slowly cooing when Summer brought up hunger, "Yeah, I think she probably is," he said looking at the clock, "Ya wanna feed her?"

Summer looked up, "I agree completely, Sir." She had brought up the break thing expecting he might want to take a break at some point, but was pleased that he seemed to be on the same page that they had to prioritize the baby. She expected, fully, that both of them would probably need a little space for an hour or two, but never far away from Phoenix. "Sure... um, where did you put the formula?" She asked. "You can keep holding her while I go mix it up."

Nate nodded in agreement, still rocking back and forth on his feet as he held the baby. "It's in the bag," he said, motioning with his elbow towards the school-provided diaper bag on the floor. As Summer got up to get it, the baby began to fuss a little more and Nate kept his rhythm of rocking on his feet while he rocked her. "It's alright, darlin', it's alright," he cooed quietly, "Mama's comin', shhh shhh," he said, almost on pure instinct and starting to engulf himself in this whole thing.

Summer stood up and walked over to the bag, searching through it until she found the formula. She took it to the kitchen to start mixing it up, and smiled to herself when she heard Nate referring to her as "mama" to the baby. She liked that. She'd always wanted to be a mother. It was a bit weird that her first experience with this was to a robot... but already, Phoenix was more than just a robot to her. She made sure to test the temperature of the formula before she brought it back out to where Nate was cooing at the doll, and reached out for her so she could feed her.

Nate did his little sway dance in the living room - which was all he had in regards to dancing talent. He shushed and cooed as the robot continued to cry. The sound was certainly getting to be a lot for him, and he could see how parents of infants got so upset so easily. But like a well-oiled machine, Summer appeared with the bottle and Nate carefully handed Phoenix over to Summer and waited for her to get settled for the feeding. "Alright, I'm gonna take a look at what's in this bag here," he said, grabbing the diaperbag and going through it. "What are our parenting stances on nooks?" he asked, pulling out a pacifier.

As soon as the baby had the bottle in her mouth and began to suckle, she was calm and content. She looked up when Nate pulled out the pacifier. "That's called a binky and our stance is that shes young enough she can have it as often as she wants." She said with a light smile.

He blinked at Summer a bit, "I'm sorry, a what?" he asked, "this is completely and 100% a nook," he said, taking an oddly strong, playful stance on the subject. "Alright that's fair. Hell, if she wants it when she's 12, who cares? I mean, she'll have to be able to stand up for herself but who am I to tell her what makes her feel better?"

"A binky." Summer repeated, emphatically. "She's a robot, if she wants it when she's 12 she can easily crush all the kids who tease her." Summer pointed out.

He slitted his eyes a bit, a small growl from his throat. Is this really what parents fought about. "Well, I mean, yes there's that too," he nodded. "So where do ya want me to set up her bassinet thing? Your room? Mine?" he asked, not entirely sure how they were going to co-parent and not act like they were together, though he understood why they were doing it this way.

Summer absolutely did not want to be apart from her overnight. Or ever. She imagined Nate might feel the same way though.... "we could take turns? Or... I can sleep on the floor in your room, maybe."

Nate thought it over, running his hand over his face as his inner boxes started to fight him. "I mean," he began, "For the reasons of this assignment, maybe...sharin' a room ain't the worst idea in the world. Knowin' that I don't normally do this and all that. But, I mean, ya ain't my sub for this assignment, your the co-parent. So, knowin' that," he trailed off, mostly figuring this all out in the moments he was speaking, "Maybe that's the best way to handle this."

Summer could see Nate was struggling with the concept a little bit, but She did feel that it was probably the best option so that neither of them had to spend any nights away from Phoenix. She looked down at the little bundle in her arms, still suckling away happily at the bottle, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable at all, Sir. But I don't want to be away from her and I don't think you do either..." She pointed out. "We can try it out tonight, and if it's not working for you, we'll figure something else out tomorrow, okay?"

Nate nodded, “I mean ultimately we gotta do what makes sense. And what’s logical. And I think if I focus on that I’ll be okay. Ya just gotta promise ya ain’t gonna fall in love with me,” he smirked.

Summer scoffed. "Not a chance." She chuckled. "Got an air mattress or anything I can use to crash on the floor with?" She asked, not wanting to invade his personal space any more than was necessary.

Nate just hummed in a "yeah, okay," kinda way and ended with a short laugh. "I mean, the bed's big enough," he offered, "If you're alright with it. Otherwise we can pull the mattress out of Ry--uh, the spare room and pull it into mine."

"I mean, I can fall asleep anywhere to be honest. It's whatever you're comfortable, Sir. I'm the one invading your space." She told him. Just as she finished speaking, the baby finished off the last of the bottle. Summer set the now empty bottle down nearby and gently rocked her.

He gave a shrug, "it wouldn't be hard to pull the mattress in there," he said simply, as if he was actually making the decision. He watched as Summer went back to cuddling Phoenix and pulled a confused face, "Ya gotta burp her, Summer. Or she's gonna start screamin'."

"Then let's do that." She said, decision made. She looked at him, tilting her head, and then... "Right... I think I remember helping my mom do that when the Triplets 2.0 were babies." It had been a long time since then, but she carefully moved the baby up into position so she could burp her.

He chuckled at the 'next generation Evans' joke and watched as Summer set up to burp the robot baby. She was patting her back but nothing seemed to help. "Maybe try rubbing her back. I read sometimes that helps if pattin' doesn't do it."

Summer frowned, she'd only just started, Nate was already giving up on her method in favour of another? She kept patting, confident it would work.

Nate stayed quiet for a moment, but noticed that Summer wasn’t changing her tactic. The baby still wasn’t burping and now was starting to fuss. “Really? Is this really the time ya gonna chose to be bull-headed?” He asked rolling his eyes and going to the fridge for a drink. If she was going to be stubborn because she didn’t wanna take advice, that was her choice.

Summer's frown deepened, was Nate really doing this? She sighed, continuing to pat for another moment or two. Phoenix's fussing grew though and eventually Summer had to concede and change tactics. But Nate's idea didn't work either. "It's not working, Sir." She said, pointedly, as the baby began to cry.

His face frowned when his plan didn’t work either, figuring one of the two of them would have. “Alright, maybe she’s one of those super gassy ones. Law her across your lap face down and rub or pat,” he offered.

Summer hesitated, the idea seemed logical but rather harsh and she didn't want to hurt Phoenix. So she brought her over to Nate and offered her to him. "You try." She said.

Nate nodded taking the crying baby as she was handed. He moved to sit on a chair correctly. He carefully laid the baby acrossed his lap, keeping her head and neck cradled in his hand and against his thigh. He tried the rubbing technique first, rubbing over her lower back and up to her shoulders. He then started to pat her gently and they heard it. “Whoa! Good push kiddo,” he chuckled and carefully returned her to his arms, keeping her upright against his chest. “We got this,” he smirked.”

Summer breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the little noise, and the baby settled down as she cuddled against Nate. "Well, you've got this, at least." She said, realizing that she probably didn't know as much about babies as she thought she did.

Nate shook his head, "Nah, nah i said what I said for a reason," he said running his hand over the baby's back, feeling the robot start to settle against him. "I just...i was plannin' for a baby, Summer. I read everythin' there was to read. I searched everythin' there was to search. Some of it seemed to stick, apparently."

kelstiel11/23/2020 Shhh i was making the dream board and it took all morning lol. I'll do a reply on my break in a few hours. and I have tomorrow and Wednesday off so ill be around lots then

----------------- It was later that night when Summer found herself sitting up in the bed, Phoenix tucked in her lap as Nate slept beside them. They had agreed to take turns for the night time feedings, and it was Summers turn m, but the feeding had ended about twenty minutes ago. She couldn't bring herself to put the baby down though. She was just content to stare at the sleeping doll, and she was feeling unexpectedly emotional about the whole thing. This could have been her life... her baby would be a year old some time this month, though the exact date would never be known. She sniffled, and wiped her eyes. The movment cause the baby to wake though, and she began to cry. Summer immediately tucked her to her chest to comfort her, "Shh... its okay."

Nate wasn't sure what was happening when he was suddenly awake. It took him probably close to a full minute to figure out what was going on when he turned to see Summer in bed with the baby who was now crying. "Everythin' alright?" he asked sleepily, sittin' up against the headboard and rubbing his tired eyes. He looked up to summer and noticed something - though he couldn't pin point what. "Hey....everythin' okay? Need help?"

Summer nodded, sniffling again. "We're fine, I think I just spooked her a little." She admitted, but already the baby was beginning to calm down with the gentle rubbing motion Summer was doing on her back. "I just couldn't sleep, so I stayed up with her and I was thinking and..." She trailed off, her breath hitching in her throat.

Nate was ready to take that answer and go back to sleep. But he heard the sad in her voice and sat up a little to move closer towards her. “Cmon,” he encouraged softly, “talk to me.”

She sniffled again, "I was just... I realized that this month would have been her first birthday." She said, and she knew she didn't have to elaborate on who, Nate would know. "I just started thinking about how different my life might have been..."

Nate nodded solemnly as her words hit hard against his ears. "I'm sorry," he said softly, knowing that was the worst and only thing he could say. "That's one way to look at it," he breathed out slowly, "Ya could also look at it like things would have definitely been different, but that doesn't mean they would have been better. Things happen for a reason. And we're only given exactly what we can handle. No more, no less."

Summer wasn't sure she bought into the whole "only given what we can handle" stuff, because who was doing the giving, really? But that wasn't a conversation she was going to get into right now, especially when Nate was only trying to comfort her. His words may have missed the mark but his intention was genuine. She kept rubbing the baby's back, holding her close, but her head came down to rest against Nate's shoulder, seeking whatever small amount of comfort she could in her moments of vulnerability.

He smiled softly as her head rested against him, and just let them sit in the silence for a few minutes. "Hey," he finally whispered softly, "ya both gotta get some sleep. Ya gotta put her back for now. But she'll be right there in the mornin'."

Summer knew he was right. She needed sleep and she'd sleep better on her back instead of in Summer's arms. As for Summer, well, she needed sleep too, but she didn't want to put Phoenix down. It took her another moment, but finally logic won out and she sat up, slowly so as not to wake the baby again, and gently laid her in the 'crib' that was set up next to the bed. She laid back down and took in a breath as she watched the baby sleep, "I'm sorry we woke you, Sir." She said to Nate, keeping her voice low and soft.

Nate shook his head, "Y'all aint got no reason to be sorry. Just lay back down, let yourself rest. I'll get her the next time she wakes up."

#nate #para #tw: miscarriage #gleedsmassignment

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