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traveler-at-heart · 5 months ago

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The Doctor's In - Part 4

Summary: Wanda and R have their first date ;)

Wanda: Sorry I missed you before you left for work. Wanna come over for dinner with us?

Y/N: Would love to :)

“You’re awfully cheerful for someone who just got dumped” Darcy says as you smile at your phone.

“Who got what?”

“Carol and Maria…”

“No one dump me, there was no relationship to end” you say, locking your phone. You have noticed that Carol has been avoiding you, which is pretty idiotic, considering a lot of the trauma cases that come your way are ortho related.

That would also explain why Kamala rambled so much every time you requested a consult, so you made a note to speak to Carol about it.

“So…” Darcy ponders, and you wish she’d just drop it. She snaps her fingers. “The hot mom!”

“Her name is Wanda, and we are just talking” you refuse to look at her, knowing she can smell the bullshit from miles away.

“Something tells me talking wasn’t the only thing you did with your mouths” she insists, pulling on your sleeve.

“Fine! We kissed and it was awesome! Happy, you little pestering gnome?”

“Yes, lesbian whore. Congrats on securing a ticket to MILF paradise”

“Fuck you”

“Doctor Y/L/N” Kamala enters the room as you give Darcy the middle finger. “I can come back! Sorry!”

“Look what you’ve done” you mumble as Darcy cackles. The joy doesn’t last long, as you steal her chips. She’s too distracted making fun of you to notice.

“Hey, not fair”

You close the door and go after the resident.

“Hey, Kamala”

“Oh, hi. Doctor Danvers asked me to show you some X-Rays”

“Tell Doctor Danvers to show me herself. Or better yet, I will go directly to her. Where can I find her, Doctor Kahn?”

“Uh… I…”

“Never mind, I’ll ask Maria” you turn to leave and Kamala screeches in horror.

“OR 2. She’s in OR 2. Please don’t do it, my Baba will never forgive me if I get kicked out of the program” the young doctor clings to your arm.

“Kamala. Get it together. It’s gonna be fine. If Carol gets mad, you can be in my service for a week” you promise and she barely stops hyperventilating.

By the time you reach the OR, Carol is done with her surgery. She stops in her tracks when your eyes meet.

“Doctor Danvers, a word?” you ask, trying to sound professional.

“Of course” she nods. Leading you to an empty scrub room, Carol opens the door for you, fidgeting. “What’s up?”

“Stop making everything so awkward. I’m not mad at you. Kamala is about to have a stress induced stroke from all the consults you send her to avoid me”

“You’re really not mad?” Carol says.

“No! I never expected anything else from you. We didn’t talk about it but I always knew what your true feelings were”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, honestly. Just, stop acting like you left me at the altar or some weird shit. We’re colleagues and friends”

“That makes me happy. I didn’t want to stop talking to you” she relaxes. “Though I have to be honest, I told Maria what happened between us”

“Is she mad?”

“Only a bit and just to me. I’ll manage to turn it around” the blonde smiles, a dreamy look on her eyes.

“If it helps, tell her I have a date on Thursday” you say, leaving the room, Carol right behind you.

“Oh, let me guess. The hot mom?” she jokes.

“Her name is Wanda!” you repeat.

“Well, let me know how the date goes?” Carol pats your shoulder, and you nod.

“Will do. Now page your resident and tell her we’re all set before she gets admitted to the Psych ward”

—

The footsteps approaching on the other side make your heart jump. You wonder if the flowers are too much, but when Wanda sees them, her face lights up and you know it was the right thing to do.

“Come on in” Wanda says, taking the flowers and then standing on her toes to kiss your cheek. “The boys are in the living room”

“Want some help with the food?”

“No, I’m almost done. It will be more helpful if you entertain the twins for a little” she says, pulling the flowers close to her chest.

“Alright, then” you’re about to kiss her when the boys walk in. They’re so excited to see you that they don’t notice how close you are to their mother.

“Y/N” Billy says, running towards you.

“Hey, kiddos” you pick them up, carrying them over your shoulder and they giggle. “Come on, there’s a new game I wanna show you”

You take your time to set everything up, explaining a bit about the game. They giggle as Crash jumps and turns in the sand of the first level, and you finish it all, including the tricky jump at the end.

“Who wants to go next?”

“Me” Tommy says, sitting next to you. They are both focused on the game, so you take advantage of the distraction to go see Wanda.

Sliding into the kitchen, you grab her by the waist.

“You scared me” she laughs, allowing you to press against her back, kissing her temple. “What’s going on?”

“I have approximately fifty seconds before they ask for my help so I’m making sure they count” you turn her around and lean forward, capturing her lips and sighing against her mouth. “You look very pretty”

“Thank you”

“You smell really nice” you add, kissing her again, making Wanda laugh. “And I really, really, like kissing you”

Wanda smiles at that, her hand caressing your cheek.

“Y/N!” the boys chant in unison.

“Like clockwork” you mutter, kissing Wanda’s forehead as you go back to the living room.

You spend a few more minutes playing with the kids, until Wanda calls everyone for dinner.

“How’s the arm, kiddo?” you say, sitting next to Billy with Tommy and Wanda in front of you. As you take a bite of the chicken, you notice a funny flavor. “Is this brocc…”

Wanda widens her eyes and kicks you under the table.

“Ouch”

“You ok?” Tommy asks, none the wiser.

“Yeah, I just bit my tongue” you lie, Wanda taking a sip of her water to hide her laugh.

“Kids, eat” she encourages them, and you get the hint. The flavor of the broccoli is hidden with the cheese, so you smile and continue to eat, enjoying every single bite.

“I’m on cleaning duty” you say as soon as everyone finishes, taking the dishes and cleaning the table.

Billy and Tommy run to the living room to continue playing, and as you get ready to wash the dishes, Wanda leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“It’s nice to have you here”

“You have an odd way of showing it, Miss Maximoff” you joke, leaning against her touch.

“In my defense, it’s the only way to get them to eat their greens” she jokes and you lean forward, your lips inches away from hers. In that precise moment, the boys call for her.

“Behave” she warns the children, pulling away to see what the fuss is about.

“Have you thought about boarding schools?” you joke and she pinches your side. “Ah, kidding! I would miss them too much”

You load the dishwasher, clean the pots and put the rest of the food on some containers. By the time you’re done, the kids are getting ready to go to bed.

“Can you come over again tomorrow?”

“If your mom wants me to, sure. I can bring the food this time so she takes a break from cooking” you offer, smiling at Wanda.

“We’ll see about that, Y/N works hard enough as it is. Say goodbye to her, boys”

Tommy and Billy wave at you, already dragging their feet. You stay on the living room, and a few minutes later Wanda comes down.

“Hi” she plops down next to you and you smile.

“All good?”

“A bit tired, that’s all. Just ignore me, you’re the one that works all those crazy hours”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to it by now” you shrug your shoulders.

“Would you like some wine?”

“Sure, I don’t have work tomorrow”

“How come?” Wanda asks when she returns, handing you a glass of red wine and sitting closer to you on the couch.

“Well, I have a really hot date coming up and I need to plan every detail”

“She sounds like a lucky girl” Wanda blushes, biting her lip.

“Oh, I’m the lucky one” you say, placing both of your glasses on the coffee table. “She’s smart, funny, has legs for days, cooks amazing food…”

“Stop” she laughs, and you shake your head no. Wanda is still laughing when you connect your lips with hers, a sigh leaving her mouth when you lift her and place her on your lap, her legs straddling you.

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah” she nods, leaning her forehead against yours. “More than ok. As a matter of fact, I remember reading that kissing is good for your health”

“It’s so good” you say, your lips traveling to her jaw, behind her ear, down her neck. “I’d say do it as often as possible”

“Doctor’s orders?” Wanda jokes, her voice faltering as you come back to her mouth, your tongue swiping across her bottom lip.

“Doctor’s orders”

—

The plan is coming along. You have the tickets for the exhibit and the next thing on the list should be the dinner reservation. Your pager beeps the minute you call the restaurant.

911.

“Shit”

You sprint to the car, knowing no one would call you outside of work if it wasn’t serious.

“What’s wrong?” you walk to the ER, looking around.

“What on Earth is this?” Tony Stark, neurosurgeon and professional asshole gets in your face the minute you get there.

“I don’t know, I’ve been off work since yesterday, Stark” you take the chart, reading all the information until you get to the signature. The writing got progressively worse, until it was just senseless lines.

“This person was clearly having a stroke, and the staff didn’t notice. I have to scrub in and see if I can save his life”

“And you’re wasting time arguing with me” you roll your eyes, pushing the chart to his chest and walking to the OR.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To scrub in. If you want to blame me, that’s fine. I’m staying by this patient’s side until he pulls through”

“If he pulls through” Stark says angrily and you ignore him.

Before scrubbing in, you check your phone.

Wanda: Is everything ok? I saw you leaving in a hurry.

“By all means, take your time” Stark says, glaring as he walks by you.

You spend the entire surgery in his OR, standing still and doing everything he asks. He’s a rude, pretentious cunt, but if anyone can work a miracle, it’s him, so you suck it up and take every snide comment with a blank stare.

After hours working, Tony sighs, nodding at his work.

“Close him, Parker,” he asks his resident. You stand watching the young man’s work, until the surgeon asks you to come with him.

“I’m sorry” he blurts out the minute you step out. “This wasn’t your patient, nor your responsibility. And I made it seem like it was”

“It’s still not right. If I had been here, I would have noticed”

“I know. Your work is impeccable” he acknowledges and you nod. Even if he’s an ass, this is the hospital his father built, and he’s a genius with years ahead of you in experience.

“Will he be alright?”

“There’s a good chance he’ll pull through. Let’s be cautiously optimistic. I’ll let Parker explain everything to the family. Sorry for interrupting your days off”

“Not a problem”

“It’s the first time you’ve taken PTO in 3 years. Fury’s gonna have my head for making you come” Tony says, laughing.

The patient is moved to the ICU, but you’re still not comfortable leaving, so you go back to the on-call room, sitting in a bed to gather your thoughts. Yelling in the hallway makes you stand up, watching as Parker tries to speak to a man and his wife.

“You discharged him, said he was fine” the man yells, pointing at Peter’s face.

“Sir, I can assure you, we’re doing our best to make sure your son…”

“We wanna see him now” the man takes Peter by his coat, almost lifting him off the ground. The young man stutters, not knowing how to deescalate the situation.

“Hey, that’s enough” you step in, not realizing the man is about to throw a punch until you make him drop Peter, his elbow connecting with your cheek.

“Crap, Doctor Y/L/N, are you ok?” Peter says, rushing to your side.

“Yeah, fine”

Fucking fantastic.

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to wait in the foyer, or I’ll call security” Carol steps in, glaring at the man. She waits until he’s gone, muttering an apology your way. “You ok?”

“Mhm, great”

“I thought you had a few days off”

“Yeah, me too”

“Come on, let’s have a look at that punch” Carol says, dragging you to one of the exam rooms. You sigh, trying to keep your eye closed. “No stitches needed”

“Great” you mumble, pulling out your phone. There’s like five messages from Wanda but before you can answer, she calls you.

“Hey”

“Hey, are you ok? You had me worried”

“Yeah, there was a thing at the hospital and I… ouch! Carol, a little warning?” you hiss as the blonde pours some disinfectant on the bruised skin.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were busy” Wanda says, her demeanor changing. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait, Wanda!” you say but it’s too late, the call cut off. “God, could this day get any worse? I have to go”

“Want me to drive you there?” Carol says with a smile and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah. That will make Wanda so happy”

“Whipped” Carol jokes and you try to glare, but it hurts your eye.

Wanda barely put the kids to bed, when she hears a knock on the door. She’s prepared to give you an attitude but then sees your swollen cheek.

“Oh, my God, what happened to you, are you ok?” the brunette says, immediately forgetting she’s mad at you.

“It’s a long story. But that doesn’t matter. Listen, I know how it seems, I tell you I’m busy and when you call me I’m with Carol”

“I know you work together. It’s fine” Wanda lies.

“No, it’s not, come on”

“Ok, just come in and explain everything while I get you some ice, ok?”

“Thanks” you mutter, sitting at the kitchen counter. You fidget with your hands, not looking up until Wanda comes closer, her eyes soft as she moves the hair out of your face.

“Cold” she warns, placing a compress against your skin. You sigh with relief, holding her hand close.

“I’m sorry. I was called in to fix something I didn’t break”

“Don’t apologize for doing your job, Y/N” she says in a soft voice. “Is everyone ok? Is that how you got hurt?”

“Everyone’s ok. The parents were just pissed and I tried to break the fight”

“Does it hurt?” Wanda pulls the compress and examines the skin. It’s a little bruised, but not too swollen.

“It will later” you sigh.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“You can kiss it better”

“Is that what Carol was doing earlier?” Wanda tilts her head, a dangerous look in her eyes that sends shivers down your spine.

“Oh, come on! Not fair!”

“I’m kidding” she says, finally kissing you softly. You close your eyes, relaxing for the first time in 12 hours. “I’m sorry for giving you a hard time, you were saving lives”

“What you feel is valid. Don’t apologize for it, ok? I’ll always listen to you, I promise” you kiss her hand, smiling when she blushes. “We’re still up for our date, right?”

“We can reschedule, you must be exhausted”

“Not a chance” you say, pulling her closer again. “I’ve been waiting too long for this”

“Well, alright. If you insist” she pecks your lips and you nod.

“I do”

“I have an… odd request” she says, avoiding your eyes.

“I won’t kink shame you, I promise”

“Can you be serious for just a second?” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. You make a motion to keep quiet, and let her speak. “Can you… pick me up around the block?”

“I can. But why am I doing it?”

“First of all, if the kids see you, they’ll want to tag along. And also… I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, I just want to protect them. It’s been the three of us since they were born and I’ve never even dated anyone, let alone someone they know” she takes a deep breath, hoping you won’t get upset.

“Billy and Tommy come first, always” you nod. “I agree to the new rule, or I can wear glasses and a fake mustache”

“Nope” she shakes her head, covering your mouth with her hand.

“A bald cap then” you mumble against her palm.

She figures the only way to make it stop is by kissing you and she leans forward, her lips against yours. You smile dreamily as she pulls apart.

“Now. Would you like some dinner?” Wanda offers, and you almost drop to your knees.

“God, you’re so fucking perfect, Wanda Maximoff”

The way she blushes and giggles makes up for all the shitty things that happened in the past hours.

—

“There’s food and snacks, a list of phone numbers on the fridge in case of an emergency”

“Yes, Mrs. Maximoff,” Morgan says, following the woman around the house. It’s her first time babysitting the twins, but Wanda has known the girl since she started giving her private art lessons and trusts her.

“Boys, I’m leaving” Wanda calls, the kids standing up from the table to hug their mom goodbye. “Be good to Morgan, ok?”

“Where are you going?” Tommy asks.

“A work thing” she lies, feeling terrible about hiding the truth from the twins. But still, she knows it’s for the best to keep this private.

She waves goodbye one last time and walks past the house, noticing your car is no longer in the driveway. Her heart beats fast at the expectation of an evening together.

“Hey, gorgeous” you greet, leaning against the passenger door. “You look absolutely stunning”

You admire how amazing she looks in a pair of jeans, a white tee and a long sleeve sweater.

“So do you” she kisses you, smiling as you open the door to the car.

“Thanks, the purple eye gives my look a nice touch” you say as you begin the drive.

“Are you gonna tell me where we are going?”

“You’ll find out soon enough” you say, hoping she likes the surprise. “First stop” you announce, opening the car door for Wanda and looking at the building in front of you.

“Artechouse. Oh, I’ve heard about this” Wanda nods, intrigued.

“I did too, but never made the time to go. Come on” you lead her to the entrance, showing your tickets. “There’s a small bar if you wanna have a drink before we go in”

“Let’s go in now” she says, looking everywhere.

You think it’s a good sign that she’s so interested in the exhibit, so you lead her to the start, both of you gasping as you enter a room that is projecting videos of flowers from floor to ceiling. Wanda’s hand searches yours in the dark, and you smile shyly as she holds it, walking around the room.

The intimacy of the place allows you to come closer, sharing everything you see in a low voice and enjoying the show.

“Check this out” you say, lifting your arm, the animation following your movements. Wanda lets out a laugh, doing the same.

Each room enchants Wanda even more, the next installation featuring plants that react to the touch with light and sound. Your favorite by far is the tree that reacts differently if you’re holding hands or hugging. As you walk up to it, Wanda is still holding your hand and you both look at the screen. Well, she’s looking at the projection and you’re looking at her, thinking how beautiful she is.

Taking a step forward, your arms go around her waist and you smile, admiring how the images change.

“It’s beautiful” Wanda whispers, turning to you. “You’re not looking”

“I have the best view right in front of me” you smile, happy when she kisses you softly.

Wanda takes her time examining everything and once she’s done, you walk to the exit.

“That was amazing. I forgot how much I enjoy these things. Thank you, Y/N”

“Glad you liked it”

“Best first date I’ve had,” she smiles.

“Oh, this is only the first part. You don’t really think I’d forget about the food, right?”

“Where are we going?”

“Well, there’s a very fancy option but I don’t feel like going with this thing on my face” you point at the bruise, annoyed. “If you’re feeling adventurous we could try something different?”

“You look perfectly fine, darling” she kisses your cheek. “But I’m up for an adventure, so lead the way”

“Awesome” you hold her hand, walking down the street and away from the museum. This is your favorite part of town, close to the pier and the little shops that are open until late.

You walk down the promenade, showing Wanda some of the places you love. There’s a small gallery, a cafe, and other shops.

“We’re here” you announce, pointing excitedly at the kebab shop. “This is fine, right? We can still go to the fancy place if you like”

“Sorry this place isn’t fancy enough for you, Majesty” the owner pops out of nowhere, scaring you.

“Samir! That’s not what I meant. You know I love your food”

“Mhm” he glares, but then smiles at Wanda. “What can I get for you, angel?”

“Well, what’s good here?” Wanda wonders, not as familiar with the dishes. “Maybe a shawarma”

“How about a kebab box, fries to share and a doner” you suggest, “And her shawarma, of course”

“That’s a lot of food” she protests and you shrug your shoulders.

“I’m always eating leftovers before I leave for work so it’s fine, babe”

“Oh, well” she wants to scold you about your eating habits, but the pet name makes her dizzy.

You pay and lead them to a small table outside, unaware of Wanda’s flustered state. You hand over a soda and open your can, taking a sip.

“We can go to other art shows whenever you want, you know? Even if I don’t understand anything, I do enjoy watching you” you smile, laughing as Wanda’s cheeks go red at the comment.

“I did enjoy it, thank you. You come here often?”

“I do, I love the food here. Samir noticed I came late because of my shifts and he always saved me some food. Nice fella” you turn to make sure he’s not listening. “But I promise I’ll take you to dinner to that other place when I don’t look like a raccoon”

“You don’t have to”

“I kinda want to see you in a dress, all fancy like that time you left for another date” you smile at the memory of how beautiful she looked.

Wanda’s heart bursts with the way you look at her, complete adoration in your eyes. She’s almost left speechless, but her phone saves her.

“It’s my brother” she apologizes, taking the call. “Hi, Pietro. No, I’m not with them. Because, I’m out. Of course with a babysitter, stupid” she rolls her eyes, and then switches to a language that you don’t understand, but sounds like Russian. You look at her in awe, until Samir calls for you to get the food. By the time you’re back at the table, Wanda already hung up.

“Sorry about that”

“No, don’t worry. I guess I never asked, but are you Russian?”

“Sokovian” she corrects. “We moved to the States when Pietro and I were ten”

“Wow. I never… you don’t even have an accent”

“It slips up from time to time, especially if I’m angry or… flustered” Wanda says, and you almost choke on the food, thinking of all the ways you could make it come out.

“Oh, well” you clear your throat. “Is your brother ok?”

“Yeah, he wanted to ask the boys something about video games that I don’t understand. I’m sure you would”

“I don’t know, my knowledge is limited to things that existed when I was a kid. How’s the food?”

“Amazing. Wow” Wanda says, pleased with the flavor of the meat and how it compliments the rice and dips.

“See? We’re good enough for a first date” Samir shouts from the kitchen.

“Stop listening to our conversation” you shout back and he grumbles. Wanda smiles, thinking of something she’s wanted to ask for a while now.

“Do you ever visit your family?”

“No, not really” you shake your head. “I pretty much left for college and never returned. Except this one Christmas, where I was feeling kind of lonely and tired. I just wanted to be home, but everything was so different, my half siblings were just too much to handle for anyone… and I didn’t even know what to do, no one bought me a present because I was never around and they just thought I’d be gone like last year”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked…”

“It’s fine” you shrug your shoulders. “I know it’s weird, but I like my life, you know? My colleagues are great, I’m doing what I love… and if I hadn’t moved here, I wouldn’t have met you”

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s their loss” Wanda smiles, kissing you. You smile against her lips. “You can always spend the holidays with us, you know? I mean, it’s too soon to talk about it, I’m just saying”

“That would be nice” you interrupt her rambling. “Now, I have something very important to ask. Out of all the neighbors, which one is the most annoying and why?”

“Well, I’d say it’s… Agatha”

“Harkness! Yes! I knew you disliked her too”

Wanda laughs and you keep the conversation going. By the time you’re done, you pay and leave a big tip for Samir, who gives you a hug as you leave the store.

“I’m so full” Wanda says, patting her stomach.

“I know. Oh, you want ice cream?” you say, remembering the gelato store that is a few shops ahead.

“You just said you were full!”

“It’s ice cream, come on” you take her hand, and pay for two cones. Wanda orders strawberry while you opt for chocolate.

“How is it?” you ask as you walk down the pier, enjoying the view.

“Amazing, have some” she offers the cone, but you kiss her instead. “That’s not what I meant” Wanda laughs against your lips.

“Well, it tastes amazing to me” you say, leaning forward and chasing after her soft lips, the flavor lingering as you deepen the kiss. Wanda sighs against your mouth, pulling you closer until your hand goes down her waist. “Best ice cream I’ve ever had”

“Yeah” Wanda nods, her eyes closed. You peck her lips one last time, and continue your walk, still talking about everything you can think of, enjoying each other’s company.

When she checks the time more than once you get the hint, ready to go home.

“I’m sorry, I’m just being annoying, we can stay longer”

“It’s ok, I know you like to be home early. Come on, we can drink wine or I’ll let you go to bed”

You rest your hand on Wanda’s leg for the entire ride home, unaware that your touch is making the woman restless. When you’re close to your house, you stop exactly where you picked Wanda up.

“I can just park at home, right? The boys are probably asleep”

“Yeah” Wanda nods, flustered. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when she moves forward, pulling you down for a rough kiss that takes your breath away. It’s a bit messy and desperate, and you ignore the strain of your seatbelt as Wanda pulls you closer to her, sighing against your mouth.

“You can’t park here!” an annoying person knocks on your window and you both break apart. “Oh, my! Wanda? Doctor Y/L/N?”

Damn it, it’s Agatha Harkness. Your nosy, annoying neighbor. Rolling down the window and smoothing your clothes, you smile at her.

“Hey, Miss Harkness. Sorry, I’ll move right now”

“No, don’t worry” she gives you a sly smile. “Have a good night, you two love birds”

“Night, Agatha” Wanda says and you turn on the car, finally parking in your driveway.

“That was fun” you comment, opening the door for Wanda and crossing the street to walk her home.

“Yeah, just our luck” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. “Wanna come in? Or do you have to work tomorrow?”

“Not until Saturday. Come on” you let her lead you to her house, opening the door as quietly as possible. Wanda sees Morgan at the kitchen table, doing her homework.

“How did everything go?”

“Great, they went to sleep an hour ago”

“Morgan Stark?” you greet, closing the door behind you.

“You two know each other?” Wanda says.

“Yeah, my parents work at the hospital with Doctor Y/L/N” Morgan says, waving at you. “Nice to see you”

“Did you drive here? Or want me to take you home?”

“It’s fine, I drove here” she says, and you hand over some money before Wanda can pay her.

“Drive safely, ok? Don’t want your dad giving me crap on the next meeting”

“Will do. Good night, Miss Maximoff”

“Night, Morgan”

“You didn’t have to pay for that too” Wanda says, kissing you. “But thank you”

“Anytime. How do you know Morgan?” you nod when she offers you a glass of wine and you walk to the living room with her.

“I’m giving her private art lessons. She’s really good. Had no idea her parents were doctors”

“Not just any doctors, baby” you say, taking a sip. “Tony’s father built the hospital we work in. And he’s done some amazing research in neurosurgery. Pepper is also one of the best plastic surgeons in the world”

“Wow, Morgan is so sweet and down to Earth”

“She gets that from her mom, Tony can be an ass” you mutter and Wanda laughs. “So, did I secure a second date?”

“A third one as well. But only if I can pay for the next one”

“Nu-uh. I’m spoiling you, baby” you say, your hand going to her leg. You notice how Wanda’s cheeks turn red, and you’re not sure if it’s the nickname or the contact. “Come here”

You take her glass of wine, approaching her slowly and kissing her. It’s tender at first, but then your hands travel to her lower back, and Wanda moans against your mouth. You deepen the kiss, sighing when she pushes you on your back, climbing on top of you.

Wanda kisses down your neck, biting slightly. The sudden nip makes your hips jolt forward, and she has to hold back another moan.

“I don’t know how you do it” she says, shivering when your hands travel down and cup her ass through her jeans.

“Do what, baby?”

“Drive me crazy with just one touch”

“Let me take care of you” you ask, kissing her, your hands going all the way to the front of her pants.

“Mom?”

“Shit” she mutters, both of her hands covering your mouth. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I’m thirsty,” Tommy says.

“Alright, don’t come down, I’ll be right there, ok?” she says, hoping the boy hasn’t noticed anything strange. But he’s too sleepy so he just agrees and returns to his room. “I’m sorry”

She removes her hands from your mouth, helping you up.

“It’s fine, I enjoy the choking but just give me a heads up”

“Stop” she says, blushing. “I’ll be right back. Unless, you want to go? I’m sorry”

“I can stay” you nod, smiling at her disheveled state.

“Alright, I’ll be back” Wanda promises, pecking your lips.

You sit up, fixing your hair and taking a sip of the wine to calm down.

“Everything ok?” you say as Wanda comes down. She nods, smiling and sitting next to you.

“Yeah, I just didn’t think they’d be up. Maybe… we could wait a bit? When I’m not worried about the boys walking in on anything”

“Of course. Come here” you open your arms, and she settles, leaning her head against your shoulder. You kiss her temple. “Wanna watch some tv?”

“What about a sitcom? I love watching those”

“Like Friends?”

“Like Bewitched or… The Dick Van Dyke show” she says and you laugh, completely caught off guard by the suggestion.

“You’re fascinating, Wanda Maximoff” you say, handing over the remote, ready to watch whatever she wants.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x y/n

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pintadorartist · 7 days ago

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THE TRUMP-MUSK FUNDING GRAB: THE QUIET COUP

Since taking office, President Trump and Elon Musk have worked together to defund the federal government from the inside while consolidating power into the hands of a right-wing elite. Their goal is clear: gut federal agencies, strip public resources, and redirect power and money into their own hands.

Agencies Are Starved of Ability to Help People: Key federal agencies—including the Departments of Health, Education, and Transportation—have been forced into bare-bones operations, unable to implement vital programs we depend on.

FEMA and Disaster Relief Blocked: Funding for emergency relief programs is being deliberately slowed or denied, leaving communities vulnerable.

Social Security and Medicare Under Threat: Musk’s “Department of Government Efficiency” has gained full access to the U.S. Treasury's federal payment system, which processes Social Security, Medicare, and tax refunds. His team now has access to millions of Americans’ financial data and can manipulate payments.

DOGE is a Smokescreen for Dismantling the Federal Government: Under the guise of “efficiency,” Musk has proposed cutting $1 trillion in government spending, targeting social programs, education, healthcare, and regulatory agencies that protect consumers and workers.

At the same time, Trump and Senate Republicans are fast-tracking Russell Vought as OMB Director to oversee this attack on federal funding.

VOUGHT IS THE ARCHITECT OF PROJECT 2025

Vought wrote a chapter of Project 2025, which starts by outlining the role that OMB should play in implementing the massively unpopular playbook. If confirmed, Russell Vought will control federal spending. That means he will claim to have the power to:

Freeze funding for critical programs like Medicaid, public schools, environmental protections, and infrastructure.

Redirect federal dollars to right-wing priorities, including tax cuts for the wealthy and corporate handouts.

Defund regulatory agencies that keep corporations in check and protect workers and consumers.

THE PROCESS: HOW THE SENATE WILL PROCEED WITH THE VOUGHT CONFIRMATION VOTE

Monday: Motion to Proceed (MTP) passes, allowing debate on the nomination.

Immediately After: Republican Sen. John Thune can file cloture, starting the two legislative day clock before a cloture vote.

Wednesday: Cloture vote happens, kicking off 30 hours of debate.

Wednesday - Thursday: Senate Democrats must use the full 30 hours to expose this crisis and block the nomination at every turn.

Thursday: Final vote on Vought’s confirmation. If he is confirmed, the Trump-Musk takeover accelerates.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

1.THIS LINK BY INDIVISIBLE LEADS TO A PAGE WITH RESOURCES INCLUDING POSTERS TO USE WHEN PROTESTING AND WHAT TO DEMAND FROM YOUR SENATORS

2. THIS LINK LEADS TO A CALL TOOL THAT PROVIDES A SCRIPT FOR YOU TO USE WHEN CALLING YOUR SENATOR. TELL THEM THAT WE ARE IN A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS

3.Fax: use this link and send a fax to your senator

4. Read through the list of Senate leaders and call a number

5. Contact Your State Attorney General by phone and email:

Minimal script for ALL state attorneys general: We are all learning that Elon Musk, a man who can’t even get the security access he needs to enter parts of SpaceX, and a band of unaccountable teenagers and business cronies, walked into the GSA, TTS, the U.S. Treasury and the USAID offices and took whatever private information they wanted, firing any civil servant who tried to stop them. [Your Stateians] records have most likely been invaded in violation of the Privacy Act of 1974, and as he’s now embedded himself in the Treasury department computer system, payments for Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and other federal programs are at risk if the Trump administration decides to punish our state, [as he’s currently doing by holding fire victim funding hostage in exchange for extremist voter ID requirements.] Even the short pause from Trump’s executive order to freeze federal disbursements caused panic. We want you to sue the federal government to stop this corrupt and possibly treasonous attack on the privacy rights of our states’ citizens.

6. Contact the Secretary of the Treasury Department! – 202-622-2000

Minimal script for Secretary Scott Bessent: I’m calling to demand that you remove Musk’s access from all systems under your control, that all his equipment is confiscated, that his team is interrogated as to all actions they took under his direction, and that a computer forensics team is assigned immediately to check the system for integrity of its security systems.

More info on: https://indivisibleventura.org/2025/02/01/the-guy-nobody-trusts-with-a-full-security-clearance-now-has-access-to-all-your-private-data/

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heartpiratedrabbles · 1 year ago

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Kids Anger Part 2

Part 1 ~ Part 3 Part 4

Kid X Fem Reader X Killer

It had been a couple of days since you disappeared and life on the Victoria Punk hasn’t felt peace since. Kid angrily stomped through the ship, breaking every door behind him and plenty of holes throughout the walls he passes. It was a stupid fucken fight. Kid was angry, he was pissed, He’d teach you a lesson about running away after he found you. He’d make sure you’d never be able to leave him again.

Killer on the other hand had been the one actually handling the crew and ship, trailing behind his awestruck lover. He was anxious after not seeing you, and unlike Kid had noticed you were injured from the beginning. But he had thought, even with your hot headedness, that you’d treat yourself before doing anything stupid. The only evidence of you ‘dressing’ the wound was a bloodied shirt you had left behind, no medical supplies were taken.

Heat approached Killer, avoiding the irrational captain, “We should make landfall in a couple hours.” Killer knew what this meant, the Vivre card he had handed heat to help track you down must’ve pointed towards to island. And if you were further, well they’d need to stock up on supplies before continuing, not to mention fix some damage to the haul that they barely fixed after the battle with the marines.

“When we get there, we’ll go our separate ways, you get everything ready to depart as soon as possible,” Killer said gesturing down the hallway to where Kid had stormed off too. It should hopefully only be a matter of time now.

“The island has a military base on it” Heat says while handing the blonde the vivre card back, Killer stops a bit. He looks at the card and notices it’s gotten smaller, the edges seemingly burnt and his stomach drops.

“Get us there as fast as possible Heat” Killer makes quick steps to get to Kid, his trail of destruction leading the first mate to his workshop. He practically kicks the door open, ignoring the red head’s anger boiling over. Before Kid can get any real words out Killer lands a punch on him, “Get your fucken head out of your ass.” Holding up the vivre card Kid stares at it a bit more.

“She’s the one that ran away” Holding onto his hateful pride still in the end, “If she dies that’ because she can’t protect herself.” Kid lets out a huff only to be met with another punch.

“You’re the one that told her to leave Kid.” Killer kicked his captain. He was beyond pissed, “We’re breaching land soon.”

~~~

You woke up in a dark cell, a chain around your ankle. After you had passed out on the row boats a backup battalion of Marines found you and captured you. They had blamed the entire incident on you and have tortured you for any information pertaining to your previous captain for a lighter sentence.

You lay there, too tired to even sit up. The only thing you’ve had to eat since you left the ship was a moldy piece of bread and some water. The whip marks on your back ached and the wound in your shoulder has long since turned into an infection.

The guards had mentioned your execution coming up and how you were stupid for not ratting out Kid to survive. You let your mind wander, thinking about how Kid would take up the entire bed by stretching out, or how what little room was left, was then taken up by how big Killer was. You missed snuggling in between them, in the crevices left between their bodies. It certainly would be more comfortable than this floor.

You wonder if they are even worried about you. You’re sure Killer had a couple of words for Kid but it didn’t seem like he went after you either. You hear a jingle of Keys come closer and a loud kick against the bars jerk your eyes open.

“Y/N, if you just give us some information we won’t execute you. In fact we’d be willing to ship you off to the West Blue and let ya live your life” The commander of the base stared down at you through the bars snickering at your predicament. “You’re gonna need some treatment if you want to survive… If you don’t want to tell me anything now you could, always offer something else.”

You watch as he unlocks the door and walks in, crouching down next to you, picking up your chin with one of his hands. He starts leaning in but before he can get any closer you spit in his face, “I’d rather die miserably than stoop to your level.” The man punches you before standing up.

“Face it y/n, the Kid Pirates sacrificed you. You’re nothing to them,” He stares down at you, placing a foot on your infected shoulder, putting slight pressure on it, smirking as he sees the pain in your eyes.

You gasp, gritting your teeth, “Just kill me already. I won’t tell you anything.” The man glares down at you. He kicks you in the stomach before leaving again. You hear the walls around you become silent as he leaves. Seeing black spots in your eyes you allow yourself to pass out.

~~~

Kid and Killer were making a mess of the marine base, only stopping to take a breath after getting lost inside the building. When they got to the island, they had heard about an upcoming execution for one of the Kid Pirates and knew they were close to finding you.

“Where do they keep coming from?” Kid yells while punching another marine straight into the ground, “Can’t the fuckers lay off for a second.”

“We’re in this mess because of you” Killer grunt, slashing one out of the way. He grabs your vivre from his pocket, growing increasingly concerned at the smaller its getting. Kid grumbles before running in the direction the card shifted.

~~~

You awaken to a loud thud of the door and groan; you didn’t have the energy to deal with him anymore. You didn't have energy anymore, you just want to sleep. You’re back towards the cell doors and with as much strength as you can muster, “I’m- Not. Talking,” You have to breathe a bit between each word, every movement more painful than the last, “Just kill me already.” You don’t hear anything behind you. You didn’t like this silence of being watched and slowly glance over your shoulder. To your surprise, you see Kid stunned silent, “That’s a first,” You mutter before letting yourself relax for the first time in days, your body falling limp.

~~~

Kid finally managed his way to the cell block and surprisingly there were no guards around, must’ve taken care of them already, The onslaught of bodies behind him was a testament to how determined he was. He glanced back at Killer who was still taking care of a few guards and decided to run ahead.

He broke open the door, slamming it open. There in front of Kid is what he can only assume to be a dead body, the deep gashes along the back only adding context to how the ground was so severely stained red. Kid takes a couple of steps forward when he hears you talk, his breath hitches and he can’t seem to move anymore. What did they do to you? He watches as you slowly turn your head to face him and he can only watch as you put on a smile to him and weakly say, “That’s a first,” before going limp, lying flat on your back.

#kid x reader x killer #one piece #kid #killer #angst #part 2

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nerdgal27 · 5 months ago

Text

A Story Behind the Painting

Home

Summary:

Part 4 of (Mikey and Me Part 3), (It Happened Again Part 2), and (Don't Want to Talk Part 1). Struggle after struggle. There comes a time when the inner demon destroys so much, that one doesn't know what else to do. Other than keep the inner demon from loved ones.

Tags: Substance Abuse, Depression, Flashbacks, and Abuse.

Home

Sunshine dapples the deep green forest. Burn the late morning dew glittering jewels in mid air. Coffee mug in hand black liquid slosh onto cold fingers as I wobble down the tiny staircase of the camper pickup truck. An old rust bucket is the last bit of my savings can afford.

Sit on a lazy afternoon in a cozy chair. Stare at the endless view of evergreen pines and misty gray mountains is worth it all. Take in the cool sweet wood scent of green fill sore lungs. Swivel chair further away from an old gravel path. Wind over the lush undergrowth. Where customary rodents cover last night's tracks. Eat the empty nut shells and left over trail mix I left for them. Can’t stomach to eat anything again. What’s the point now?

Shield away by Mother Nature’s warmth and green walls. Her sweet melody chirps and whispers in the silence. The sticky sun glues me under the camper cobweb awning. Spiders big enough to play the banjo. Thought grows a chuckle to who said that once. Forever gone away in the forever distance. All for the best. For everyone. For them most of all.

Free from pain, from it all. It has been done. No need to know the outside world. Can almost imagine it all. Not now. No need to think about any of that at all. Other than wonder how hot this coffee is for me to sip.

Deep rich aroma takes me away from the pines. Old giggles bounce from concrete walls. Sparks spray in all directions mingles the smell with old metal. When muddle hands rub black grease over my eyebrow. Old scooter parts vomit all over the floor. A victim to be torn apart, rebuilt to either drive faster. Or explode.

Phone rings memories back to green and soft blue reality. Muffle in the far depths of the 1967 brown and green camper. Can’t be right, I shut it off last night.

Crawl back into the sauna brown dungeon. Follow the ringtone to the front. Weave over the hot tea water bottles on the fuzzy floor. Brush last night’s debris aside in the trap of doom between the front seat. Bright pink old life shivers in a frenzy.

I shouldn’t turn the phone over to see the screen. This needs to be my new life now. Can’t go back anyways. How can I like this? How can anyone? Doing this for them. An glove box that only opens and closes by a swift kick is a good place to bury it all away. Turn off all of the past in orange velvet darkness. Leave it all tucked away. Return to the fresh sirene new life.

Canadian geese honk over the tall tree peaks. The way the flock swoops down a long terrain down from blue skies and feather clouds. Sunrays beam grasshopper hisses mid day summer heat. Follow the distant honks and splash. A cool lake lap over dry cracked feet sounds perfect. Clear this heavy head of mine.

Wander back inside. Cool worn out duds for lake water. Cold beer in hand, tuck comfy chair under my arm. A handful of fluorescent pink tags roll in hand. Nice way to return to my new home without getting lost. Wait for another set of geese to flutter above. Lead the way out of the hot sun. Weave between the trees. Step over tree root monsters. Smile at the odd bird or animal hops by.

“We don’t keep secrets, right?”

I whisper to the memories. “No, you don’t.”

Another voice in the dream rasp. “He still loves you.”

He shouldn’t, neither should any of you. Too broken, not enough. Difficult.

Out here. All are no different than any woodland creatures from the largest moose to the small voles scurry by. What is worse, to remember the words. Or the subtle silence of the first night when all of this began. A sink full of awful empty decisions. The oldest brother’s quiet gaze. Patterns flourish in the forest around me. Bright shapes shimmer all that is long gone behind me. Nothing wrong with a cold one in hand on a hot day.

Besides, take in all of this. A wide dark turquoise green lake. Full of life. A single loon lone coo along with the tiny dots of geese in the water. Soft gentle slopes into sand and clay. Show evidence of deer were here moments ago.

He misses you that’s all

One’s voice. Does he?… Of course he does. How could he not? Everyone else knows.

Sit down in the chair. Set down the last 3 cans of a 6 pack. Miraculous 3 survivors of a drunk blackout yesterday. Crack open heaven. Slide it down the fire throat. Feel it burn over it all. Take in this brand new peaceful life of quiet. Should bring out a couple fishing poles for tonight. If I remember to come back for them. Can’t go back to anything nowadays.

When will I see you?

My old self. When my voice had more life.

Soon, Sweetheart, it will be like old times.

There’s a reason why they are called old times. It was a good life. A loud life, somewhat chaotic. The endless laughs, pile ons, pushing around. Plastic cockroaches in cupboards, glitter in ninja smoke bombs. One time Mikey and I replaced Raphael’s shower gel for blue dye. Guy was a grumpy Smurf for 4 days. His grouchy growls. The wooden spoon in papa turtle Smurf’s hand. Mikey ran for his life. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Wash over the more recent screams and pushes away. Even more of the dark and bleek.

When closet doors rattle. Whisky bottles smash in the far distance-

No. Not again. Never speak of it again. None of that ever happened.

Water swishes numb ankles. Whirl to baby ducks splash nearby. Over work, Mother of 6 squacks her children to behave and paddle behind her. Chuckles at their little feet blur under the clear water. Match the same speed of their cotton ball wings. Can remember when Mikey used to run the same way. Anytime Donnie chases Mikey out of his lab. Sometimes so then Donnie and I could play science and pupil again.

Water waves between my toes. Shallow parts warm from the sun. Heat numb limbs. Swallow back to boiling hot water. Scorch delicate young skin.

Mommy it’s too hot.

No…stop

Screams echo. Blister scar. Bare to the summer heat. Every single one remembers every pain. Why did I wear this tank top? Why am I out here? Can’t stay.

Hands stick on to lawn chair. Water waves slosh against the sandy ridge. Small legs kick. Hot water splashes everywhere. Hands shove deep under water.

Sweetheart, breathe…

Violet voice whispers. Take his invisible hands. Squeeze them. The way he told me to. No thumb rubs my hands. Take in all of the cool fresh pine. Have to get used to this alone. Least this way is the best. No one’s burden any more. Can pick up this lawn chair anytime.

Wander back the pink flag trail. Lose myself to millions of songs birds and butterflies flutter by. Brush soft long grass under fingers as I go. Crisp fresh air. Think about what bait to use for food tonight. Another thing I will have to start getting used to.

Yellow happy face atena swings in between shrubs. Wave me down the direction home. Swig the last bit of powerful robust dark beer. Ignite pain away in a smooth burn. Drown darkness where they belong.

Soft breeze hushes the forest buzz. Breathe in strong bitter fuel knocks the taste of beer. Great animal growls a deep hungry growl. Take me back to a cool violet room. To a lab chair and elastic bands for hair tying.

“Sweetheart!?”

Old life hollars me dead frozen in the tall grass. Hidden behind thick honeysuckles. The low hanging tree branches block the meadow opening of my new home. Don’t need to see how close the voice is. Can hear his feet crunch back and forth in the gravel. Rusty truck doors whine open and slam shut. Yellow smiley atena whirs in a hyperactive spaz. Empty cans clang on the far away floor board. Fast in a frantic, more than the time he caught Mikey in his mutagen supply.

Footsteps wobble in the far depths of camper sweet camper. No.

He can’t be here. No one can find me like this. I did this for them. They need to stay away from me. Far from any ear shot here. Can drop everything and run. Spin to do so. Lungs leap to jump for the hot pink trail back to the lake.

Get back here!

Hot greasy hand clap thunder. Drop the entire lazy afternoon supply. Oh crap no! Don’t drop them.

Metal chair legs clang against beer cans.

Shallow gasp in the wind. Pushes me faster down the trail. Teenage bare feet pound thistles and burrs I weaved around before.

Child bare feet blur down a hallway. Slam the bedroom door shut.

“Tessie, wait!”

Oh shit! Dammit! All the curse words Mikey should never hear. He found me. Faster down the hill. Over the log. Reach for the ridge. Follow the open blue sky between the evergreen trunks.

Slip under fast large hands. Hardwood scraps small bare knees. Away from him. Away from the man. Go go go.

Feet hush to the quiet breeze and soft rainfall of leaves. The broken footpath behind me, bare. Maybe turned back to the shellraiser for something. No matter. Least I can slow down, and lungs can breathe.

Leaves rustle ahead. Green blur drops from above. Dead in his tracks. The tall slender turtle raises his hands and snatches me. Should have known. Been raised by ninjas for Pete sake.

Jerk arms in his grip. Swallow the rock down.

“Donnie, what are you doing here? Let me go.”

Sink away from his gaze. Loosen his grip to one hand on my arm.

He pants, “I’m not here to fight, and I should be the one asking you the same question.”

Rip his hand off me. No point in running. His long legs follow behind down the path. As I pick up the lawn chair.

“No phone call, no note, do you know what I found in that camper?” His feet pound behind.

Pick up what’s left of the 6 pack. Dangle the last 2 cans yet to be drank. No point in hiding it now. Plus he said he’s not here to fight. There’s no need to answer. Lanky green hands rip the plastic rings.

“Hey!”

Whirl back to the two cans soar into the forest. Shove Donnie back.

“What the hell was that for? That stuff ain’t cheap.”

He towers over me. Loom a dark shadow over. Calm eyes narrow into deep violet slits. Deepens his sharp tongue.

“Do you know how long I drove to find you,

How long we’ve been looking for you?”

Step out of his shadow. Continue down the path into the sunlight. Home sweet home lies ahead.

Shrug as I go, “You didn’t have to. Just decided to take a trip, that's all, what’s wrong with that?”

Old life lingers in the shadows. Listen to teeth grit splinters. Boy did he skip coffee? Why is he hear anyway. Everyone knows so what’s the point?

Set the lawn chair back under the shade of a hunter's green awning. Since Mr. Grumpy in the corner threw a good set of cans. Guess I’ll have to get more. Crawl back inside the brown velvet coffin. Weave over the thrown cans on the floor. Guess I’ll have to clean this soon. The camper door slams shut.

“I wouldn’t shut that, unless you want to melt.” I speak to the ghost by the door.

Silence. Gonna be civil now. Want to burn holes through my head? Go on, do it. Everyone else is gone, why should anything matter. Open the mini fridge. To an endless supply of bottles, cans, and what I forgot most. Leaps off the shelves, plop to the fuzzy floor.

Oh shit.

“…what is that?”

He’s the brainiac and yet he’s asking me? Should be pretty obvious by the label. Let his long legs weave around me. Take a bag from the fridge. I Crack open a cold one. Fire burns down all those dark heavy nights. Think back to all of the colorful waves last night.

“…T-this…”

Leave him in the camper. Let him figure it out himself. Wasn’t supposed to be here to begin with. Might as well read what brand I use, for what? Who knows.

Set the can in the lawn chair. Camper door shuts, no slam? Weird. Shouldn’t he be furious or something?

Been standing there for a while. Turn to him at the metal steps. Shaded from the hot sun. Bag shivers in between his fingers. Lost to the horizon. That I’ve seen thousands of times in his brown eyes. His internal gears whir. He never looks like this unless…

“You do know, right?”

Silence answers. The deep rise and fall of his chest. He sinks down to the flatten tall grass. Let the bag fall between his fingers. A look I make when I wake up from a nightmare. Before I would run straight to his bedroom.

Set the can away. How? What?!

Rise up from the old seat. I ask, “The guys never told you?”

Rise from his palms, bambi eyes round wide, “They know about this?!”

“Well…yeah”-

“How long?” He mutters, waiting for an answer, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Take a step away from his ember coals glow. Shrug an answer, “I thought you knew, how can everyone else know but you Donnie, you know every inch of the city.”

“How was I supposed to know?” He shoots from the ground. Bury me in his height, “You never call or text me anymore, and then leave the city to who knows where, does Mikey know?!”

Mikey. Golden sun, white dust particles float over the sweet turtle. Bath in old and new sunlight. Breathe that old dry air of that lazy morning.

Nod in silence. Hoarse throat stops all words Heavy numb limbs drag back inside the brown coffin. Large queen size mattress at the back. Warm by the sun. Shut all of the curtains away. Curl all away in a ball. Close away from all life. This is not what is supposed to happen.

“Sweetheart?” Footsteps wobble the camper.

No answer. Feel the camper sink down with him. Warmth touches my arch back, soft thumb rubs me to the old cool lab. All those years ago.

“What are your plans for being out here?” He whispers.

No, he already knows now. He can’t know about this too. It will crush him. Shiver under his soft palm. There’s no going back. I’ve made this decision. Already caused enough problems as it is. First Leo. How it all turned Raph down into this dark hole. Times I’ve picked him up because of what I’ve done. Tried to fix it all for Mikey. Tried to be happy for Mikey. Yet…I am here. This is what I deserve. Donnie shouldn’t even be here. Why is he still here?

Weight shifts the mattress. Warmth drapes behind all along against me. His long arm slides around me. Pull me back tight against his beating heart. Donnie’s muzzle nestles deep into my shoulder. It doesn't take much for him to know.

Brush back strands from my cheek.

He whispers, “You don’t deserve to go through this alone.”

Roll in his arms. Drown myself into this chest I’ve missed so much all night long. Muzzle in his sweet scent and warmth. Squeeze all pain in his tight arms.

I shake, “I-I Don’t kn-know… if I can go back, big brother, I-I’m too broken. No one should be stuck with me”-

Soft lips plant firm silence my heavy forehead.

“You are never too broken, it’s okay to have space for a while when you need it.” His deep voice murmurs in my ear.

Cling on to his belt. The same way when I was small. Take me back to the memories. Away from all of this. Let all of the pain drip onto his chest. Choke on my words.

As my brainiac brother traces slow circles on my back. Sweet rich coffee fills my world. Over the fresh pine. More warm than the summer hot sun. A soft sigh quells more than the lone loon. I am back home. This is home. Safe. Can hide here as long as I need.

He whispers, “I will stay for as long as you need me, little pupil.”

Bit through all the painful tears to fall. That roll down my brother’s chest. Yesterday I was in darkness. Tomorrow, who knows where I will be. For now I am with Donatello. My close friend, my big brother.

I am home.

#tmnt #tmnt fan art #tmnt fanfiction #2012 Donatello #2012 Donnie #2012 tmnt #depression

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aspentreewrites · 24 days ago

Text

and when all the flowers are rotten and all the cannons shot

Chapter 4

Pairings: Codywan

Tags/Warnings: (for current arc) slow burn, fake dating, only one bed, general angst and pining, realising feelings, tending to wounds, AO3 rating is E for future chapters

Link to read on AO3 here!

Description:

The truth of the matter burrows deep into Cody’s skin, settling into the home it’s long-since made for itself there, nestled tightly amongst the other secrets he harbours that are too shameful to ever speak aloud.

He digs his fingers into his temples, breathing in heavy lungfuls of the steam-drenched air as if it might reverse the realisation that now weighs upon his heart like lead.

This is no longer just some passing infatuation.

He’s in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

(or: an account of the relationship between one Marshal Commander and his General from in the midst of a war.)

✷✷✷✷✷

A/N: Every like and reblog on my previous chapters have had me absolutely squealing, kicking my feet etc. <3 I recently realised this blog had asks disabled for some reason, so I've rectified that!! I have a oneshot in the works that will probably be posted before chapter 5, so keep an eye out for that, too!

Shout out to @whenyourfavouritedies (their AO3 here) for beta'ing as always!

Wordcount: 7.3k

Prev chapters: 1, 2, 3

✷✷✷✷✷

In the half hour or so the two men have spent on the cliffside, the wind has picked up again, and violently. Despite the usually tropical environment of the planet around them, the temperature has been dropping harshly along with the setting of the sun and the encroaching storm.

To say the conditions are miserable would be an understatement.

Obi-Wan and Cody remain unmoving in their positions, only occasionally breaking the silence between them to share quiet murmurings of intel over the howl of the wind.

Staying perfectly still as they have been, has both men growing numb, losing sensation in their legs from remaining knelt for so long.

Neither of them, of course, let it show. They’re professionals, after all.

“The atmosphere is more tense than it was a few seconds ago. Something’s changed,” Obi-Wan says softly, brows pinching together as he concentrates on the minute shifts in the Force around him.

Cody continues to watch the exchange down on the beach with a sharp eye, shifting the scope of the sniper rifle subtly to track Barrek as he paces back and forth. He pauses for a moment to allow Obi-Wan to adjust, the Jedi briefly rolling his shoulder to alleviate some of the discomfort that comes from being used as a living blaster stand.

On the beach, a durasteel briefcase changes hands among the group, eventually ending up in the possession of a relatively short Trandoshan man. He shifts uncomfortably as it’s pressed into his hands, inspecting the locks incredibly carefully, almost as if he doesn’t want to tilt the case too much or subject it to any sudden movements.

It is not, in Cody’s opinion, a particularly good sign.

“He looks scared,” Cody comments.

“He is,” the Jedi confirms. “Why though, I can’t say.”

Cody frowns as he observes just how delicately the Trandoshan is handling the package, his mind working overtime to figure out what could be inside.

“They wouldn’t have put a bomb in there,” he states slowly. It’s a ridiculous suggestion, and yet Cody can’t quite wrap his head around what else would cause such tension in the group below them.

“Certainly not,” Obi-Wan agrees quietly. “But there must be something volatile inside, of that I have no doubt.”

A hush falls over them once more as the group’s discussion continues. Barrek is approached by another individual attending the deal - the Trandoshan’s assistant, they’d pieced together from watching their earlier interactions - who pulls out a small datapad and taps away at it for a moment.

“Credit wiring,” Cody mutters. “Barrek’s part is done, and it looks like the party’s breaking up. All that’s left is for us to intercept.”

Obi-Wan dips his head in acknowledgement, keeping the movement minimal so as to not jostle the rifle too much. “Just… keep an eye on the Trandoshan. I’m sensing there’s– wait.”

Cody draws back from the scope to look at the other man, trying to ascertain what it is that’s caught his attention.

He barely has time to process the way his Jedi’s eyes suddenly snap open, a sharp shout of warning leaving his lips.

In seconds, he finds himself tackled to the ground, the back of his head making contact with a sharp and unfortunately situated rock as Obi-Wan’s body covers his own, pressing him securely into the damp grass.

Cody groans, ears ringing and eyelids fluttering as he tries to make sense of the disorienting shift in perspective. Barely a second later, a blaster shot flies overhead, exactly where the two had been kneeling seconds before.

Cold-bitten hands cup his face, forcing his gaze upwards to Obi-Wan. The Jedi’s eyes are locked on his, wide and urgent as the world spins.

“Commander. We need to move,” Cody hears him say, his voice muffled and distant from the blow to his head.

Obi-Wan’s fingers press a little harder into his cheeks, his jaw tense with worry. “Cody,” he tries again.

Cody blinks hard, shaking his head to dispel the lingering daze. He’s relieved to feel his senses returning to him more and more with each second that passes, though his head still pounds from the impact. He brings up a hand to check the back of his head, relieved to find that he doesn’t seem to be bleeding.

His eyes snap to Obi-Wan’s, the danger of their situation flooding back to him in an instant.

Spying on the meeting. Being shot at. Need to run. Right.

Cody manages a small nod, and Obi-Wan rolls off of him just as another shot rings out overhead.

“Escape routes?” the Jedi asks, the two shuffling a little further down the hillside to slip out of sight of the sniper on the beach. Before Cody can respond, Obi-Wan grimaces, shaking his head. “Nevermind - I can feel that the Trandoshan is retreating with the package. Blast it all.”

“Which way?”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes for a moment, his brow furrowing in the way it always does when he’s urgently searching through the Force. “Back down to the resort.”

“Then it looks like we’re following,” Cody murmurs.

They slip a little further down the hillside until they’re sure they can safely stand without taking a blaster shot to the head. Obi-Wan stands first, before turning to pull Cody up with him, holding onto his arm a little longer than strictly necessary.

Cody can see the concern in his eyes, and he wishes that the Jedi would for once understand that they don’t have the time to worry about his health while they’re in such a perilous situation. He can get himself checked over at the medbay when they’re safe. Before then, he is not a priority.

“How’s your head?” Obi-Wan asks, an apology clear in his expression. Cody starts off into the darkness ahead of them, giving the Jedi a quick nod over his shoulder as he does.

“It’s fine,” he insists, sounding more certain of that fact than he actually is. “We need to go.”

Obi-Wan sets off after him with a sigh that carries the weight of all of the previous times they’ve clashed on this very issue.

“You’re going straight to see Helix when we get back to the venator, Cody. No detours,” he says firmly.

“Is that an order, sir?” Cody responds dryly, ducking down to avoid a piece of debris flying his way.

“Undisputably so, Commander.”

Cody can’t help but smile a little at that. Obi-Wan has never much been one for pulling rank, even early on in the battalion’s deployment. The one exception he has always made - will always make, Cody suspects - is when it comes to the safety of his men.

There are many Jedi in the Order who take a blanket ‘mission-first’ approach to jobs, and Cody doesn’t blame them - there is a Galaxy-wide civil war, after all, and calls have to be made. His General, however, is not one of them when he can help it.

The two break into a sprint back towards the resort as the wind whips up around them, both men laser focused on salvaging whatever they can from this mess.

The question remains of how they were even spotted in the first place, how long they’d been noticed for, but that’s a matter for later. First of all, they need to get out of this with their lives intact - and most importantly, intercept the briefcase in the process.

They hear another shot go off in the distance, the ensuing blur of red plasma disappearing off into the darkness to their right. Between the storm-darkened sky and the force of the gale around them, their pursuers are thankfully at a disadvantage. A pleasant rarity for them.

“You always take me to the nicest places,” Cody calls over the howl of the wind to Obi-Wan.

His Jedi barks out a laugh in response, mirth twinkling in his eyes even through the dim light.

“Only the best for you, my dear.”

______________________________

When they make it back to the hotel, Obi-Wan keeps a hand on the small of Cody’s back as he quietly directs the both of them through the winding hallways, trying to keep their steps swift yet not in a way that’s too conspicuous to the guests they’re passing by.

Acting suspiciously when they’re so close to the end of this would be a foolish thing to do. Best to sacrifice some speed for the sake of their cover.

“To our left,” the Jedi informs him softly. “He’s gone back to one of the rooms.”

Cody nods subtly in acknowledgement, smiling politely as they slip through a group of guests mingling in the corridor.

“Well, we’re certainly being led into a trap, then,” Cody mutters through gritted teeth.

“Ever the pessimist.”

“Realist,” he corrects as they turn a corner, speeding up their pace just slightly when they see they’re alone. “And you’re telling me you think I’m wrong?”

Obi-Wan gives him a wry smile. “Of course not. I just like to keep an open mind in the event of a welcome surprise.”

Cody raises a brow. “When do we ever have luck like that, sir?” he asks, dryness bleeding through his tone.

Obi-Wan’s smile turns to a full grin. “Oh, it hasn’t happened yet, dear Commander, but I always hold out hope.”

They push through into the room Obi-Wan’s senses have led them to, the door left ajar by its previous occupant - another tally mark for the ‘definitely a trap’ column.

Cody has his blaster in hand and levelled immediately, his sharp eyes scanning the room for any sign of movement.

… Movement that doesn’t seem to be happening.

Lowering his pistol, the Commander shares a glance with his General. No one’s here. The room is empty, save for the briefcase they’ve come here for, laid out on the bed like it’s just any other piece of luggage.

Obi-Wan cautiously steps over, slowly picking it up and turning it over in his hands while Cody sweeps the room.

In his periphery, he catches a glance of something red and slick staining the carpet underneath the bed. He frowns, crouching to get a better look.

“Blood,” he says under his breath.

“Or wine,” the Jedi says breezily, still inspecting the case.

“Wine doesn’t have this consistency.”

“Alright,” the Jedi concedes, glancing over to follow Cody’s gaze. “A thick wine, then.”

Cody meets the Jedi’s gaze with a huff, the two breaking out into a smile despite the severity of the situation. He returns his attention under the bed, flicking a switch modded on the end of his blaster to activate a small flashlight.

His light is reflected back to him in the glassy-eyed stare of the Trandoshan from the beach, his features twisted in a permanent expression of fear. They arrived quickly - he must have been killed mere minutes ago.

Cody grimaces, straightening up. “It looks like the trap might not have actually been set for us,” he mutters. “Poor bastard. They must’ve had a traitor amidst–”

Creaking behind him, the door to the fresher swings open.

Before he has a chance to turn, the ever-so-familiar sensation of a cold metal barrel of a blaster presses against the back of his head. Cody sets his jaw.

Obi-Wan, from a few steps away, inclines his head slightly towards their visitor. He looks far from surprised at this development.

He offers them a placid smile, though Cody can tell from the way his breathing has become just a touch more shallow that he’s on full alert, ready to spring into action the second he has the opportunity.

“I wouldn’t recommend that course of action, Lia,” Obi-Wan says, his tone low and calm. “You must know it won’t end well for you.”

“Maybe,” the voice behind Cody confirms - very clearly that of the Togruta they’d met at lunch yesterday. Damn it. How had he not realised…? Of course she was in on the whole thing. More than that, even - it seems she’s actively double crossed the rest of the group. She knows who they are, so she’s likely been watching them since their arrival. “But at least I’d take out a thorn in the Separatists' side while I’m at it.”

The blaster presses more insistently against Cody’s head, exacerbating the throbbing pain that remains from earlier. It seems to be slowly getting worse, but perhaps that’s just the stress of the moment.

Biting down a wince, the Commander remains still, eyes locked on his Jedi as the other man negotiates for his life.

“And risk compromising the package in the process, after you’ve gone to so much trouble to ensure you’re the one to leave with it?” Obi-Wan gestures to the briefcase in his hand. “I must warn you that if my compatriot is harmed, I would have no qualms with crushing the contents of this, whatever it may be.”

Cody could spin around, attempt to disarm Lia, but such an action would carry a high risk - too high of a risk for such a small space. Undoubtedly, she’d squeeze the trigger at the first sign of movement, and a stray shot would go off. Even if he were to avoid getting hit in that scenario, the noise would attract the attention of every single member of security personnel in the hotel.

While they could definitely deal with that outcome if it arose, it would be far more preferable to sort this out quietly.

It might seem strange to one less used to high-stress missions, but Cody doesn’t feel particularly afraid, despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He’s scraped through worse odds. He will again.

If anything, he feels calm, centred, watching as Obi-Wan drums his fingers lightly against the edge of the briefcase - a restless tic to anyone else’s eyes, but Cody knows better. His gaze tracks as the Jedi surreptitiously taps out a code against the metal, ‘NOT YET’. He meets Obi-Wan’s gaze as it lands on him, blinking hard to show he’s understood.

“And how, exactly, would you even get access to the inside?” Cody hears Lia sneer behind him. “It’s durasteel, and locked with three separate–”

“You forget,” Obi-Wan interrupts coolly, “that I am a Jedi. I could reach in with the Force and simply destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to get.”

Decidedly not an application of the Force, Cody knows, at least not without spending a lot of time meditating on the case and its contents, but Lia doesn’t need to know that.

The lie seems, thankfully, to give her pause.

“... Fine. Hand it over, then, and you’ll get him back” she orders, her tone sharp with tension. Obi-Wan’s eyes flick briefly to the blaster behind Cody - decidedly not a good sign. Cody hopes she isn’t reflexively tensing her finger around the trigger, but with how agitated she sounds, it’s likely.

She can’t be that experienced if her trigger discipline is this sloppy, but unfortunately for Cody, this just puts him at more risk. He can practically feel the danger levels in the room rising with every second that ticks by.

“You’re stressed,” Obi-Wan murmurs, his gaze turning to Lia. His expression remains stoic, even as his fingers tap once again against the briefcase - ‘GET READY’. Cody flexes his hand at his side, waiting for the signal.

“Stressed?” Lia barks out a sardonic laugh. “Yeah, I’d say this is pretty high stakes for all of us. Hand. Over. The case,” she repeats in a low growl.

Obi-Wan tilts his head, observing her for a moment, calculating. He doesn’t make a move to step closer, or to start bringing over the briefcase. “It’s because of Barrek,” he states softly, watching her reaction to his words. “Isn’t it?”

Cody understands the game. He’s attempting to distract her, to throw her off-balance so that they can make their move. He only wishes that Obi-Wan wouldn’t choose topics that have the woman behind him pressing the gun even harder against his head.

“What?” she hisses, voice low and dangerous.

Cody barely breathes as Obi-Wan continues to observe her, the Jedi narrowing his eyes slightly. “Yes,” he murmurs, “you’ve done something, haven’t you? Something you can’t take back.” His expression softens to something akin to sympathy, attempting to provoke a reaction. “Oh, Lia.”

Lia stammers, but before she has a chance to properly respond, Obi-Wan taps out the final instruction - ‘NOW’.

Cody ducks down quickly, twisting around as Obi-Wan uses the Force to send her blaster flying out of her grasp. She yelps in surprise, and the Commander swiftly drives his elbow into the side of her head, knocking her out cleanly as the blaster clatters to the ground.

It’s quiet for a moment, as they wait to see if she’s truly unconscious.

When it’s clear that they’re out of danger, at least for the moment, Obi-Wan huffs out a breath, brushing down his robes. “Well, that was sufficiently exciting, but I rather think we shouldn’t stick around. If they’ve all double crossed one another then we have approximately five other buyers on their way to try and claim this. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Cody glances to the prone form of Lia, now crumpled in a heap between them. It’s almost a pitiful sight. “Shouldn’t we arrest her?” he suggests, his hand coming up to gently rub at the back of his head. The strange ache persists, despite the lack of pressure there now.

The Jedi performs a quick, final sweep of the room, shaking his head decisively. “No,” he says firmly, carefully picking up the briefcase. “We’re in neutral space, and she’s not a threat without that blaster. I’ll make a report, and the security stationed here can clean up once we’re safely away with the case - that is our priority.”

He makes his way over to Cody, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a concerned once-over. “Are you alright?” he asks, his voice soft with the worry he’s no longer trying to conceal.

The Commander forces on a smile through the pain. “Never better.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t look particularly convinced, but regardless, they don’t have time to focus on that right now. He squeezes Cody’s shoulder before dropping it, gesturing for them to start moving.

“What was that about Barrek?” Cody asks him quietly as they slip out to the corridors once more, knowing it’s not quite safe yet to start running.

He glances at Obi-Wan as the Jedi sighs, running a hand over his beard. “I was trying to sense him throughout the altercation. I assumed he’d have been nearby, that he and Lia were betraying the rest of the buyers together.”

They pause for a moment, stepping aside to let a cleaner move past with a trolley. “They weren’t?” Cody murmurs, raising a questioning brow.

Obi-Wan shakes his head. “I could only sense the echoes of him. She killed him first.”

Cody blinks. “Oh.”

A silence stretches between them as they make it through to the foyer, trying to keep a low profile among the few guests awake at this hour. Obi-Wan passes Cody the briefcase as he saunters over to drop their keys off at the reception desk, sparing a few words of thanks to the staff.

Cody sees Obi-Wan suddenly tense, and moments later, one of the men involved in the deal on the beach steps in from the pouring rain outside, shaking out an umbrella. Cody swallows, shrinking behind two nearby drunk guests engaged in an animated conversation surreptitiously holding the briefcase behind him to keep it out of sight.

He barely dares to breathe as the man walks by, entirely oblivious to the two of them. Obi-Wan meets Cody’s gaze and nods for them to keep moving.

As soon as they’re outside and away from the harsh lights of the entrance, they begin to run.

Obi-Wan stays a few steps ahead as Cody covers his rear, keeping the case tucked securely under his arm and trying to keep an eye out for anyone who might be trying to intercept them - they’re so close now, but if Lia knew of their existence, then any of the others might, as well.

Thankfully, it looks like they’re in the clear, even if they do draw a few stares from the handful of resort guests who are still out in such conditions.

Cody’s feet pound beneath him, each step making his brain feel like it’s rattling in his skull, the splitting headache from earlier deciding to make itself as painfully known as possible.

Stars, he can’t wait to sleep this off.

Through some miracle of the Force, they make it to the docks without interruption, Cody rushing up the ramp of the ship just as Obi-Wan makes it to the pilot’s seat, powering up the engine and punching in the coordinates to Coruscant with a practiced swiftness.

As soon as the ship begins to whir to life, they both let out a breath of relief.

Cody stands, as steadily as he can, as the door closes behind him. The world seems to be swaying almost dangerously about him as the ship takes off, retreating to the safe confines of the stars above.

That’s strange, he thinks faintly - Obi-Wan’s piloting isn’t usually this erratic.

Cody stumbles slightly, careful to keep as strong of a grip as he can on the briefcase to stop himself from dropping it - a task that’s harder than it should be, given the circumstances.

From his position in the pilot’s seat, Obi-Wan’s head suddenly whips around, his face pale. Cody watches as his mouth moves, but he can’t quite parse the muffled sounds that come out of it.

He looks… alarmed, Cody belatedly realises. Trying to get his thoughts together is starting to feel like wading through molasses.

He tries to speak as the Jedi begins to rush over, but it’s a losing battle, hearing himself just let out a garbled string of noises. Logically, he knows that something is wrong with him, but he doesn’t quite have the brainpower to figure out what in the Galaxy it could be.

As soon as Obi-Wan is close enough, Cody instinctively shoves the briefcase into his arms for safekeeping, before he pitches forwards, only half-consciously registering the way his body comes to an unnatural stop in the air before actually hitting the ground, gently lowering the rest of the way.

The metal is cool beneath his cheek.

As his mind slips into nothingness, Cody’s last thoughts are of the gentle hands carefully manoeuvring him onto his side, and of the splitting pain radiating from the back of his skull.

When the darkness finally overwhelms him, it’s more of a relief than anything.

______________________________

Cody blinks at the offered weapon in front of him, not entirely comprehending what it is he’s being asked to do.

“I… are you sure? General, I’m fine with my blaster, I really am.”

Obi-Wan’s expression remains the same - almost unnerving in how unreadable it is.

There’s an irony to be had in the fact that Cody can tell so much from how hard the other man is trying to hide.

Late afternoon has come and gone within the training room in the Jedi Temple, the two men considerably dishevelled and covered in a sheen of sweat after an hour of sparring already. Despite this, it doesn’t seem to have been enough for Obi-Wan today. It’s unlike him; the seasoned Jedi Master usually prefers short, intensive bouts of practice with Cody over longer, more sustained sessions.

Outside, the clouds have gathered close, casting the room in that familiar dim, grey light that’s emblematic of the grim Coruscant winters.

“It’s necessary,” the Jedi insists, his eyes never once leaving the Commander’s. He frowns slightly, the motion breaking the mold of perfect stoicism he had been maintaining up until now. “Just take it, please, Cody. We have much to go over in little time.”

With a sigh, Cody finally concedes, reaching out to gingerly take the lightsaber that’s being offered to him. He rolls it in his palm, feeling the familiar weight of the hilt as he glances down at it cautiously.

He’s held the weapon countless times before; sheathed it at his hip even more frequently. But using it like this? It feels… sacrilegious, somehow.

Obi-Wan nods in approval as Cody’s fingers close around the cold metal.

“Very good. Right,” the Jedi says, his ‘mentor voice’ in full effect as he strides with a purpose across the room. He rummages around in a trunk full of resources for training Padawans - stun blasters and remotes for the training droids, mostly. Eventually, he pulls out two training lightsabers, activating the both of them with a scrutinising once-over.

“These will have to do. Now, Cody,” Obi-Wan begins, gesturing to the other man. “Crouch slightly, like this,” he demonstrates. “No - more weight on your back foot - good. Bring my lightsaber over your head, like so, and point your other arm forwards.”

Cody does as he’s asked, feeling more than a little foolish.

Fancy flourishes and footwork are a Jedi’s speciality, not his. For himself, Cody feels much more at home with a less aesthetically pleasing take on warfare. Blasters may be simple, but they’re also straight to the point - no need for posturing and intimidation if you’re going to just shoot someone in the head and be done with it.

Still, he tries.

“And… now activate it,” comes the next instruction, spoken a little more softly than the last.

After only a moment of hesitation, Cody presses his thumb into the activator.

The familiar light blue glow that emanates from the blade is oddly comforting to the clone, and hearing the low buzz of the energy above him feels like a strange, forbidden thrill.

He’s never seen anyone else fight with his Jetii’s personal weapon before, barring one time when Obi-Wan had fallen unconscious in the field and Anakin had grabbed it to dual wield with over his fallen body - even then there had been a moment of respectful hesitation.

Judging by the way Obi-Wan swallowed and cleared his throat when the weapon was activated, Cody suspects he might be one of very few to ever be granted the honour. He doesn’t quite understand all the intricacies of lightsaber etiquette, but he knows it’s a sacred thing to be involved with.

“This is… your way of doing it, sir?” he asks tentatively, trying to remain still and steady as the Jedi appraises his form. He offers what he hopes is a reassuring expression of sincerity, hoping to convince Obi-Wan that he understands - to an extent, at least - the trust that is being placed in him here.

“Yes, Form III, Soresu,” Obi-Wan murmurs, his tone quiet and more than a little distracted - he’s been lost in thought all afternoon, and Cody can’t ascertain why. It disquiets him.

Obi-Wan is often a very quiet, internal person, but he usually doesn’t let stress affect him to any visible degree. He must be particularly off-kilter today.

“We’ll go over a few of the basic movements, and then we can move on to an actual drill,” Obi-Wan adds, rolling his shoulders as they stand across from one another. “Clear?”

The next half an hour is spent with Cody repeating Obi-Wan’s slow, deliberate, defensive manoeuvres, he and the Jedi walking through an unhurried version of a duel, their movements large and exaggerated to teach him the steps. It feels more like a dance than anything else, entirely the opposite of everything the clone is used to.

Occasionally, Obi-Wan corrects his form by stepping over and gently repositioning his arm or moving behind him to adjust his shoulders - always with permission. Each time, Cody feels his heart rate quicken, though he tries not to think about it too much. This is not the time nor the place.

When the time then comes for the real spar, Cody watches warily as Obi-Wan joins the ends of the hilts of the training ‘sabers together, activating them into one double-sided blade, the handle in the middle.

A shadow passes over the Jedi’s face as he looks down at his own creation, but it’s schooled back into neutrality in seconds. Cody feels a sense of unease pass through him. He doesn’t like that expression.

“I’m… I’m not certain this is truly necessary,” he murmurs softly, wanting to give the Jedi an out from whatever it is about this that’s causing him distress. Obi-Wan’s gaze snaps up to meet his.

“‘Not necessary’?” he repeats, shaking his head in disbelief. “ Commander, you cannot defend yourself from an attacker with a lightsaber using your blaster, no matter how skilled you are. Blade up.”

Cody assumes the starting stance he’d been taught as Obi-Wan closes the gap between them swiftly, beginning to swing the dual lightsaber in earnest. Cody backs up, trying to put some distance between them with every successful block. He feels clumsy, awkward, and he hates it.

“I didn’t even have my blaster out when I jumped Greivous,” he reminds the Jedi, trying to keep his footing as the other man refuses to give an inch. Something in him doubts that he’d train Padawans this way, seeing that he’s barely getting a chance to put his earlier training into practice.

The memory in question, that usually never fails to make Obi-Wan smile or at least shake his head in exasperated amusement, serves to do nothing in the present moment but darken his expression.

“Yes, but that was Greivous, Cody,” he insists with a frown. “Not–” he stops himself short, letting out an uncharacteristic noise of frustration. “Arms higher, your left side is open,” he corrects in a snap.

Cody knows that Obi-Wan’s clipped tone isn’t meant for him, but he can’t help the way he tenses slightly in response.

“Obi-Wan,” he starts, grunting as he deflects another powerful blow, attempting to redirect it to the side. “Not who?”

The Jedi doesn’t respond, and Cody frowns, worry clawing at his insides. Something is very wrong here, and he’s entirely in the dark.

“If you’re defending yourself from Niman, Commander, you cannot rest,” Obi-Wan simply says through gritted teeth, ignoring the question. “One momentary slip of focus can be the difference between life and death.”

The unmistakable sound of lightsaber clashing against lightsaber fills the small training room, Cody doing his utmost best to keep up with Obi-Wan’s relentless attacks - and if the General’s frustrated expression is anything to go by, he’s not doing a good job.

He manages to get a few dirty hits in, taking advantage of the moments Obi-Wan expects a lightsaber swing to get a kick or two in instead. Usually, his creative thinking would earn him praise or at least an approving nod, but today it just seems to put the other man further on edge.

A few more minutes of duelling, of Cody desperately trying to keep up, and the Commander has made up his mind. The next time the Jedi approaches to strike, Cody deactivates the lightsaber in his hand, standing perfectly still.

The blade comes right up to Cody’s neck and Obi-Wan freezes inches away from him, his hair dishevelled and breath coming out in heavy pants.

Cody tilts his chin upwards slightly, incredibly conscious of the weapon that's humming centimetres away, yet knowing implicitly that he will not be harmed. They hold each other’s gaze for what feels like an eternity, neither quite able to muster the ability to speak.

The clouds outside have coalesced, drowning the room in a darker hue. The threat of the inevitable break of thunder hangs over the Coruscant surface, the planet itself holding its breath along with it.

“I don’t know what it is that’s going on,” Cody eventually murmurs slowly, choosing each word carefully. He almost feels as if he’s trying to soothe a wild animal, with the wide, tense look in Obi-Wan’s eyes. “But you need to snap out of this, Obi-Wan. Now.”

A year ago, he wouldn’t have been able to imagine speaking to his superior in this way, let alone with a lightsaber at his throat, sharing a single breath between them.

The seconds pass, fraught with tension as neither man dares to even blink.

And then, all at once, the facade of General Kenobi fades away, and the Obi-Wan that’s left behind crumbles.

The training lightsabers deactivate as he sinks to the floor, putting his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, Cody,” the Jedi murmurs, the sound pitiful and broken. “I’m so sorry.”

Cody has never been the best at dealing with emotions, and he finds every word on his tongue dies at the sight in front of him. He crouches beside Obi-Wan, placing a hesitant yet supportive hand on his shoulder as his heart twists. He wants to ask what’s wrong, to offer support, but he doesn’t quite know how. So, he does the one thing he knows he can do.

He stays.

For minutes, the Jedi keeps his head bowed, staring at the floor with a distant expression. When the trembling that has beset his frame finally eases, he’s able to speak again.

“You do not deserve to be treated so callously. Forgive me, my friend. I have had… a lot on my mind.” His voice is low, ragged with exhaustion.

Cody waits for the other man to continue, watching as he runs a hand across his face and lets out a long, slow exhale.

“I… found out yesterday that an old adversary has… reappeared from the dead, it seems.” Obi-Wan says quietly, gathering himself as much as he can muster and finally meeting Cody’s gaze with a weary smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“He took the life of someone very close to me, a long time ago. And now he has returned, I…”

Cody swallows, hearing the words that have gone unsaid. A heaviness has settled itself over the Jedi, a weight he doesn’t usually let through - at least, not in Cody’s experience.

“... You’re worried someone else is going to get hurt,” he finishes for him, his voice as soft as he dare make it. Obi-Wan frowns, his attention turned to the endless sea of grey outside of the window.

“A Jedi should not be fearful,” he replies.

“That’s not a denial,” Cody points out.

Obi-Wan gives his Commander a rueful smile. “No. I suppose it isn’t.” His expression turns more serious, and he raises a hand to cover Cody’s hand at his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Both of their palms are sweaty, but neither of them care in the moment. “Cody, I…”

Cody remains patient as Obi-Wan struggles to find his next words.

“Maul is… a very dangerous man,” he begins slowly, “with a personal vendetta against me. And I wouldn’t put it past him to…” he searches the other man’s gaze. “... attempt to cause you harm. In fact, I’m almost certain he will.”

Cody blinks at that statement, said with such conviction, and yet he is unable to fathom any reason why that would be the case. He’s well regarded within the GAR, but he’s not important enough to be a target - not like that, anyhow.

“Why?” he asks quietly. Something sad flickers across Obi-Wan’s features, before he slowly pulls back, standing and smoothing down his robes.

“The whims of the Sith are a mystery to us all, my friend,” the Jedi answers flatly.

Cody’s brow furrows slightly as he stands too, certain that that isn’t the full answer.

He knows better than to push. Obi-Wan has an irritating way of only half answering questions when he wishes to, and Cody won’t begrudge him some privacy after such a vulnerable moment. Still, it concerns him. He can always try and ask again later.

“And you were right, earlier, of course,” the Jedi adds, his usual veneer of calm returned to him, settling over his frame as naturally as breathing. “All of this was entirely unnecessary. You are exceedingly proficient in all manner of fighting, and have put up strong matches against lightsaber-wielders before, even at a disadvantage.”

He dips his head towards Cody, his expression regretful. “My deepest apologies, Cody.”

Cody feels some of the tension in his body ease at the return to normality between them. He chuckles quietly, removing the lightsaber he had stashed at his hip.

“I understand, Obi-Wan. Besides, with how often I end up with this old thing, it was a pleasure to actually get to use it for once.” He holds out the lightsaber hilt to the Jedi, a small grin pulling at his lips. He tries to inject as much dry humour as he can into his words, wanting nothing more than to put the other man at ease again. “But if it’s all the same to you, sir, I’ll leave the fancy twirling to you. I never much was one for acrobatics.”

Before Obi-Wan can take his lightsaber back, a Jedi that Cody doesn’t recognise opens the door to the room. They quickly duck back out and apologise profusely for not having known the room was occupied.

In the moments before they disappear, however, Cody catches the way they hesitate, their eyes lingering on the lightsaber he’s holding out.

Their glance drifts from his hand on the saber, to Obi-Wan, then back to him with something altogether uncomfortably knowing in their gaze.

They slip away, and before Cody has the time to ask what that was all about, Obi-Wan is hastily gathering their things together and ushering the two of them away, back to the barracks.

Cody thinks about that strange look a lot over the coming weeks, as well as what Obi-Wan could have meant by his words about him being in danger from this newly resurrected Sith, but he never can seem to settle on an answer as to what either of them meant.

It is best, he ultimately decides, to put it out of his mind.

_____________________________

The first thing that comes to his mind as Cody wakes is the sound of the ship beneath him, the unmistakable soft hum of the engines as they navigate through space.

He feels a pleasant warmth shift over his forehead, migrating up to his scalp, and Cody’s eyes slowly, slowly flutter open.

It takes a moment for him to get his bearings, which is admittedly not helped by a large shadow that’s been cast across most of his vision.

He’s laid out on the floor of the ship, he realises, his head comfortably propped up on something warm and slightly scratchy as he lazily blinks. Overhead, the shadow swims into focus, forming into the shape of Obi-Wan. The Jedi is leaning over him with his eyes closed, in a state of deep focus. He hums as Cody shifts his head, trying to move but finding himself unable to for the moment.

“Hold still for just a moment longer, Cody,” he requests in a soft murmur. “I’m nearly done.”

It dawns on Cody that his head is, in fact, situated on the Jedi’s lap, the other man’s hands resting atop his head as he channels the Force into him.

Usually, this information would have been cause for alarm, but given the way the intense pain of his head has subsided to something altogether more gentle in response to the healing he must be receiving, the Commander tentatively allows his body to relax.

Cody watches Obi-Wan for a long moment as he works, quietly admiring the expression of peace on his face that he always has when in harmony with the Force, the small details that dot across his skin, the length of his eyelashes.

Strangely, despite the anguish of this morning’s realisation, Cody feels a quiet sense of calm fill him, too, a certainty that he had lacked before. He smiles to himself.

He’s in love with the man leaning over him. It’s not something that can be acted on or returned, but perhaps that’s alright. He can live with that, treat it as he would any other immutable fact of his life. It feels almost… refreshing, to not be lying to himself anymore.

After a few more moments of peace, Obi-Wan opens his eyes, peering down at Cody with his mouth pressed into a thin line.

“I’m not the most proficient at healing I’m afraid, but I did what I could. You must have been concussed from the hit earlier.” He winces, his expression turning apologetic. “I’m sorry. I sensed the rock, but didn’t have time to divert you.”

His touch lingers on Cody’s scalp, his fingers unconsciously tangling gently in the longer-than-usual hair there. It’s a pleasant sensation, and Cody has to fight from leaning into the caress as a shiver runs down his spine.

He manages what he hopes is a non-shaky smile to the Jedi above him, raising a brow. “To be quite honest, I’d rather have a concussion than no head left to be concussed in the first place.”

Obi-Wan chuckles at that, a gentle mirth lighting up his features.

In a move that Cody has to remind himself is likely just absent-minded and meaningless, the Jedi slowly swipes his thumb over his forehead to brush away a stray curl of hair.

“I suppose you are correct there, my friend.” Obi-Wan murmurs fondly.

Cody’s heart gives a traitorous little flutter at the intimacy of the moment, and for a few precious seconds, the two just watch each other.

“Do you feel able to move?” the Jedi asks, eyes scanning Cody’s face, probably searching for any lingering pain or discomfort.

Cody nods, though he’s a little regretful to break the tranquil bubble of the moment. Slowly, he pulls himself into a sitting position, the dull ache of his head protesting at the movement, though it’s considerably muted now.

“Thanks for the help,” he says, the words coming out a little softer than intended.

“Of course,” comes the equally hushed reply.

Obi-Wan glances to the ship’s console across from them. “We’ll be back at the Temple soon. And then you can rest properly.”

Cody shuffles to sit against the wall of the ship, his eyes settling on the briefcase nearby. It’s been neatly stacked atop some datapads nearby, and the locks seem to have been sliced open with a lightsaber.

“What was in it?” he asks, glancing back to the Jedi curiously. Obi-Wan runs a hand over his beard absent-mindedly.

“Test tubes filled with an unknown substance. If I had to guess, a bioweapon of some kind, potentially one that could release a cloud of gas.”

Cody hums at that, stifling a yawn. It had been a long day, and it’ll be even longer by the time they’ve turned in all of their reports to the Council tonight.

“Makes sense as to why they’d have been nervous to jostle it, then,” he comments.

“Indeed.” Obi-Wan watches his Commander for a long moment, his expression softening. “You should take the night off. I can get the reports turned in myself, Cody.”

Cody would usually scoff at the idea, but right now the idea of rest sounds incredibly tempting - his body is practically screaming for it after the exhaustion of losing consciousness and the subsequent healing.

He evidently must not respond fast enough to dissuade Obi-Wan from the idea, as the Jedi breaks out into a gently amused smile.

“Good. I much prefer it when you don’t argue,” he jokes, and Cody can’t help but roll his eyes. “I’ll inform Helix to expect you when we land.”

Cody nods, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’ as they slip into a companionable silence. The ship continues to drift through space as Cody feels his eyes droop, heavy and unrelenting in their quest to pull him to sleep.

A sudden thought occurs to him when they’re only five minutes out from Coruscant, the realisation causing him to groan softly in frustration. Obi-Wan looks over to him, a question in his gaze.

“... We forgot our suitcases at the hotel,” he grumbles.

Obi-Wan blinks in surprise, glancing around them to confirm the statement. In a rare moment of genuine irritation that’s not directed towards Anakin, he drops his face into his hands.

“Blast.”

✷✷✷✷✷

A/N: First arc down, but so much still to happen! Thank you all for reading so far. I hope you enjoy what's coming next :)

Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be added!): @mitth-eli-vanto

#codywan #aspentreewrites #star wars fanfiction #tcw #cody x obi wan #commander cody #my fics #commander cody x obi wan #star wars #fanfiction #flowers & cannons #obi-wan kenobi x commander cody

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sarahowritesostucky · 1 year ago

Text

📖"Temporary Custody"

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Steve x ofc x Bucky; Steve x Bucky

Word Count: 3720

Tags: Dom/sub, bdsm au, dom Bucky, sub reader, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, gay sex'n'stuff, straight sex'n'stuff, Steve being a literal Golden Retriever, mental health issues, dub-con, forced submission, referenced childhood abuse and resultant mental health issues, bakery au, m/f/m, gentle domination, total power exchange

Summary: The stigma and shame of being a submissive has kept Mary unfulfilled and in the closet her whole life, until an inciting incident leads to Bucky and Steve taking her in and giving her everything she was always too afraid to ask for.

Trigger warnings: This story contains themes of eating disordered behavior, body image issues, childhood abuse, self-harm, and alcohol abuse.

Wait! I haven't read an earlier chapter of this fic! Story Masterpost

4. Cake Doughnuts (shitty non-doughnuts)

This is not the way Mary expected her life to go. Divorced at 29, probably unemployed, and now declared mentally incompetent and legally attached to some stranger? Ew.

At least when the cops had dragged her into the ER, she’d been drunk still. But she’s sobered up a lot since then, and ever more so during the drive from the hospital to back to Brooklyn. It’s the most awkward car ride of her life. Steve’s the one who drives. Mary doesn’t know why that surprises her, but it does. And he’s the one who leads the way into their building and up the stairs. It’s an older building with character but no elevator, so they make the three story climb on foot. Another resounding Ew.

Mary walks silently around Bucky’s (and Steve’s—because of course he’s gay and married) apartment, feeling shy and hesitant and all the things she just really doesn’t want to be feeling right now. She stops when she gets to the second bedroom, stares at its pristinely tucked-in sheets and neutral tableau.

“You can bring over any stuff you need from your place,” Steve is saying gently from behind her, where he and Bucky are lingering in the hallway. “It’ll be your room. We won’t bother you in there.”

She whips around. “How long do I have to stay here?” Better to figure it out now. Make a plan. She glares at Bucky, since he’s the one in charge of this disaster. “I’m not staying here forever.” Steve looks even sadder at her words than Bucky does, kind of like a kicked puppy. It’s disconcerting, so Mary keeps her attention on Bucky instead, forcing herself to make eye contact. “Well?”

“Until I feel like it’s safe and healthy for you to be on your own,” he says, not a hint of sympathy in his tone. That’s disappointing, and it pisses Mary the hell off.

“Screw you,” she says, not particularly loudly, but definitely full of all the contempt she feels for this guy. “You think you can just—”

He’s got her pushed up against the wall faster than she can track with her eyes. One second she’s standing feet away from him, and the next she just … isn’t. He’s in her space and against her body, one hand at the base of her throat and a thigh pressing forward, holding her to the wall. It’s terrifying and shocking and …

“Oh I know ‘I can just’,” he says darkly.

… She’d rather eat glass than tell him what else it is. “Let go of me,” she grits out.

Disappointingly, he does. Steve is just standing there like a big idiot, blinking wide eyes at the scene. Bucky takes a full step back from her and says, “Don’t curse at me, Mary. It’s disrespectful.”

She wants to ask him exactly what he’s done to earn any respect from her. She grinds the words into her teeth instead while Bucky watches her knowingly. She hates that look almost as much as she hates the way he says her name, as if he’s known her for years rather than a millisecond.

“House rules,” he says calmly. “The practicalities of what’s going to happen. We should discuss that, don’t you think?”

Steve places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, comes up beside him and wraps an arm around his waist in a way that reminds Mary that the two are a couple. “Hey,” he says softly, speaking in Bucky’s ear. “Why don’t we let her get some rest before you go asserting your dominance, huh?” Mary wrinkles her nose at the word, and Steve regards her kindly. “You’ve gotta be tired,” he says. “You want to sleep?”

Bucky looks like he’ll protest, so Mary nods quickly. “Yeah. Yeah I’m tired.”

She watches as Steve squeezes his husband’s shoulder. “Come on, Babe. Let’s leave her to get some rest. She’s been up all night.”

Suddenly, Mary realizes that she has been up all night, and it’s almost comical, how fast the exhaustion hits her. Her throat starts to ache with a yawn that she fights not to let out in front of them. “Yeah,” she says again, this time thinking less about Bucky and what he wants or doesn’t want, and more about the bed that Steve said was reserved for her. She remembers that she feels like absolute shit, and probably looks it, too. “M’gonna sleep,” she says, turning away from both of them and heading for the bed.

The door ‘snicks’ shut softly behind her, and she assumes it was Steve who closed it. The two men's muffled voices fade off down the hallway, and even though it’s probably naïve to trust them so easily, Mary believes what Steve said about them not bothering her in this room.

She collapses on the bed that is exactly as soft as it looks. The sheets are tucked with military precision and smell like no one’s ever used them before. Mary grinds her face into the cool pillows and briefly wonders if Steve and Bucky have never had any company over to use this bed, before falling into one of the deadest sleeps of her life.

She wakes up feeling much, much better. Steve and Bucky’s guest bedroom has an en-suite, so she goes in and does her best to freshen up with the toiletries she finds stocked there.

There are three Advil Liqui-gel capsules sitting on the bedside table when she comes out. Mary regards them sharply and glances back to the door, but it’s still closed, no sign of life heard from outside in the hallway. Either the pills were there earlier and she just didn’t notice them, or else Steve is a lot stealthier than he looks. Twisting her lips, she scoops the pills up and tosses them back to fend off the headache she can already feel brewing behind her temples.

A quick search of the room’s dresser drawers yields nothing, and she’s forced to face the fact that she’s going to have to do this confrontation dressed in only her huge tee shirt from the night before. No matter, she thinks, squaring her shoulders and reaching for the doorknob. She’s got a new strategy in mind.

“I’m sorry,” she says, when she ventures out to find Bucky and Steve sitting in the living room.

Steve reaches for the remote to mute the tv, and Bucky sits back with a doughnut that he’s just plucked from a box on the coffee table. He bites into it, looking only vaguely interested "Want one?"

She spares a glance at the box. "Are they yeasted?"

"What's that mean?" Steve asks.

Another glance reveals that they're not, and Mary turns her nose up at them. "It means you're eating shitty, overbaked cake, not a doughnut," she says snottily.

Steve just blinks and looks back at the box with a little frown. Bucky takes another huge bite of his doughnut and chews it, maintaining eye contact with her and speaking around his mouthful, "Weren't you sorry for something?"

Mary purses her lips and starts over with her contrition act. “Yes. Look, I know you guys are just trying to help me. And I know I probably seem like such a hot mess to you right now.”

“Cause you are,” Bucky drawls.

Mary quells the urge to go over there and slap the doughnut straight out of his hands. That won’t help her with this new strategy she’s decided on. ‘Honey versus vinegar’, and all that. “Yeah,” she says instead. “So I’ll admit, my life hasn’t been going very well lately. And I really did need some help.” She forces herself to give Bucky a friendly smile. “So I’m glad you were willing to step in and help me. Thank you.” Bucky is looking at her way, way too unimpressed, and Mary squirms in place, thinking that he should be looking happier at what she’s just said. “Well?” she says.

He chews another bite of doughnut for a solid five seconds, swallows, then says, “How much did it hurt you to spit that out?”

She scowls. “I was trying to be nice.”

“Mm hm.” He pats the couch beside himself in a clear invitation. “Come sit down. Have a doughnut.”

She’s obeying before she even thinks about it, though at least she has the sense to take a seat on Steve’s side of the L-shaped sectional, and not Bucky’s. “I’m not hungry,” she says, just as her stomach gives a small growl.

“Well clearly that’s a lie,” Steve chuckles.

Mary glances over at him, peeved, but decidedly less so than she is at Bucky. Steve just seems less … threatening, maybe. Whatever it is, Mary pushes it from her mind.

“Look, I’ll stick around for a few hours or something if you really want to make sure I’m okay,” she says, attention back on Bucky, because she can already tell that he’s the one she’s got to convince. “But then I have to get back to my apartment.” She sees Bucky’s expression shutter at this and quickly adds, “I understand that you’re responsible for me, temporarily, technically. And I appreciate what you’ve done. I don’t want to cause you guys any more trouble than I already have. I’m going to take steps to take better care of myself now. And we can … we can keep in touch if you want. Just so you don’t ... you know … worry.” By the end of her speech she’s lost confidence, as she can see from Bucky’s expression that this is not being received well.

"Is that all?" he asks, eyebrow arched.

“Bucky,” she complains, floundering. “Come on. This isn’t … I mean you can’t just, adopt me, or whatever. I’m not some stray dog. You don’t even know me!"

He nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t.”

For one brief, overly-optimistic moment, she thinks that she’s actually going to get out of it that easy.

“But I’ll get to know you. Because you’re not leaving here anytime soon, Honey.”

All of that optimism tanks straight into a sour pit of disappointment. Mary shoots up to standing, startling Steve a bit where he's reaching for the doughnut box. “Don’t call me that,” she snaps.

Bucky takes another smug fucking bite out of his doughnut. “What?” he asks. “‘Honey’?”

“Yes! I’m not your ‘Honey’. I’m not your anything.”

He licks the sugar off his lips and stares her down. “You like it when I call you that.”

“No, I hate it,” she sneers. “Just like I hate your smug, self-satisfied face. I hate men like you.”

Bucky relaxes further back into the sofa, gesturing at her with the last of the doughnut before he stuffs it in his mouth and eats it. “Men like me, huh?” he asks once he’s swallowed, infuriating in his nonchalance.

“Yes.”

He chuckles and starts sucking his fingers clean one by one. “And what would that be?” he drawls, letting his legs splay wide on the couch cushions, thigh muscles straining against the denim of his jeans. He sees her getting distracted and hums. “Hm? Pray tell, Little girl. Do enlighten me. What are 'men like me' like?”

For one, airless second, all Mary wants in the world is to drop to her knees right between his legs, put her face at the seam of his jeans and rub her cheek against his thigh, against his …

Her thoughts go unfocused, fuzzy at the edges, static in her brain. She licks her lips absentmindedly, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of how he’s positioned himself …

“Mary.”

The sound of her own name draws her out of it, like a slap. She meets his eyes and juts her chin out, half dizzy from the effort. “Men like you think they know everything,” she grits. “Think that they’re the end-all-be-all. Men like you don’t feel any compunction about stepping on everyone around them. Men like you think you’re so fucking smart, that you can’t even fathom the likely alternative.”

“And what would that be?”

“That you’re actually just a cocksure moron,” she hisses.

Bucky tips his head at Steve. “Stevie tells me I’m a moron every other Tuesday, don’t you Babe?”

Steve shrugs a little from where he's leaning forward, holding the lid of the doughnut box open while he tries to choose a flavor. “Well, yeah.”

Bucky smirks, so unaffected that Mary just wants to scream. “So," he says. "You ‘hate men like me’, huh?”

“Yes. I do."

“That’s why you’ve spent your whole life around them, then?”

“I …" She falters. "What?”

Bucky glances over to Steve, and the two of them have some sort of silent exchange overtop the lid of the doughnut box, wordlessly communicating in a way that evidences a years’ long relationship. When they both look back to her, it’s Steve who speaks first.

“We got to read up on you a little, while you were asleep,” he says. He nods to the laptop and packet of papers on the coffee table. “Did some research. Learned about what led up to this.”

“'This'? What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been under the control of domineering men your entire life,” Bucky says, interjecting more forcefully over Steve’s gentler tone—Mary feels like she’s getting whiplash between the two of them. “First it was your father, out in Bumfuck, Nowhereville,”

“Indiana,” Steve mutters.

“Whatever,” Bucky snaps, zeroing back in on Mary with glinting eyes. “And he was ‘that sort of man’, wasn’t he?”

Mary feels a little like she’s been punched in the gut. “So what?” she says. “So you looked me up? Hospital gave you info on me and now you think you know me? You don’t know shit.”

“Your whole life, he said jump and you said how high, right?” Bucky asks, clearly not wanting or needing an answer to the question. Maybe Mary’s expression is answer enough. She’s not quite sure what she must look like right now. Horrified maybe. Or furious. “And then you latched onto the first jerk who’d give you a ride out of town.”

“Shut up.”

“Married him, too. And that worked for you alright ... Until it didn’t.”’

The backs of her eyes are starting to feel hot. “I said: shut up,” she whispers.

Bucky nods and leans forward on the couch, as if her anger and humiliation mean nothing to him. And damn him, maybe they don’t. Maybe he likes this, the sick bastard. “If he hadn’t hit you so bad, you would’ve stayed. Right? He met your needs in every other way.”

Mary shudders. “What are you talking about?”

"I'm talking about self-medicating, Honey. It's what you've been doing. Probably since you were a little girl."

She's disgusted with herself for the tears that break through, unmoored by how Bucky knows all of these things about her, and that he's able to fill in the gaps so easily. “What the hell is your problem, huh?” She swipes angrily at her eyes. “What does any of that have to do with anything? Except for that it’s none of your goddamn business?!”

Bucky softens a little. He glances at Steve, who gives him a warning look. “Sweetheart,” he says, looking back at Mary plaintively. “The drinking and the cutting, the feeling miserable and being sad all the time; that all started after your divorce, yeah?”

That … is not what Mary expected him to say. She’d been expecting more insults, more heartless jabs at her past. “I … What?”

“Answer the question,” Steve urges gently. He looks like he’s in on some secret with Bucky, something only Mary doesn’t know.

“Yeah,” she admits warily. “I mean, divorce is … well it’s divorce. It sucks. Of course I wasn’t happy about it.” She scowls and crosses her arms. “What’s your point?”

“My point is that, dysfunctional as they were, you had very specific relationships with very specific types of men, until what, like a year ago?”

“... Year and a half,” she mutters, unease creeping up her spine at where she thinks this is going.

“Right. And that’s when all your troubles started. Because let's be real: you weren't hurting yourself before then." He tilts his head, feigning curiosity. "Why do you think that is, Mary? Why weren't you falling apart before? When you had a father touching you wrong, or a husband putting holes in your drywall?"

"Stop," she breathes.

He nods sadly. "It was was after, when you didn’t have those people in your life anymore, structuring it, telling you what to do. Once you were alone, that’s when you started to fall apart.” He levels her with a pitying gaze. "Now why do you think that is?"

Oh, hell no. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mary says. She actually takes a physical step back from where she’s standing. “You think what? I was using my douche ex-husband as some sort of a … a dom? My freaking father?!”

“Mary, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” She jabs her finger at Steve, who’s spoken. If she thought she’d been angry at these two before, well now she’s just … she’s just … “You’re fucked up,” she tells them, voice full of quiet fury. “And you,” she points at Bucky. “You might be diagnosed with some freaking mental disorder or whatever, but that doesn’t give you the right to put that fucked up psychology onto everyone else!” She jabs her thumb at her own chest. “I’m normal! I’m not like you. I don't–I don’t have …”

“Mary,”

“No! I don’t. I–I didn’t …” Vaguely, she starts to recognize that her pulse is pounding in her ears, that it’s getting harder to draw breaths. “My f-fa, my, my f-father…”

Bucky stands up and comes towards her. “Mary,”

“No!” She makes to push away, to leave the room, but he closes in too fast and before she knows it, he has one hand on her throat and one at the base of her skull, gripping her hair. And it’s not mean, the way he’s holding her, but when she jerks away it tugs her hair unpleasantly and she whines and stills. “Let go,” she gasps, terrified by the way his hands make her feel.

“Steve, a little help?”

Her heart lurches as she hears Steve move, sees him getting up off the couch and coming over. “Wait,” she whispers, afraid and not understanding why. Not understanding why she’s even whispering in the first place, instead of screaming like she should be. “No, wait, wait—”

Steve is behind her, and even though he’s hardly even doing anything, just has his hands resting on her lightly, Mary still feels a tremor run through her whole body. She feels so trapped. Fixed in place and terrified, but not because she thinks they’ll hurt her.

Because suddenly she can draw a deep breath again.

And she can see the look in Bucky’s eyes, can see how he knows that. “Please,” she whispers, closing her eyes when tears well to the surface. “Please, just, I just need to …”

“You’re okay,” Bucky soothes. “You’re okay, Mary. Just breathe against my hand. Breath against me, against Steve.”

She shakes her head, even though she knows what he means. With her eyes squeezed shut like this, she can feel both him and Steve so solidly, can feel the points where their bodies connect with hers. When she inhales, she feels them there. “What the hell?” she winds up whispering, more to herself than to them.

“You were starting to have a panic attack,” Steve murmurs. He hugs her from behind, and Mary shivers but doesn’t try to shrug him off.

“I don’t have those,” she says. Even to her own ears, it sounds weak. “I don’t,” she insists.

“First time for everything,” Bucky says.

They stand there for a long minute or two. Hell, maybe it’s more. As long as Mary keeps her eyes shut, she can at least pretend that it’s only a minute. It’s only once she opens her eyes that she has to face reality. When she does, she sees that Bucky’s watching her keenly. He looks … sad.

The thought that the man with one hand fisted in her hair and another wrapped around her throat is concerned for her strikes Mary as almost comical. She doesn’t laugh, but she also doesn’t feel close to crying anymore. “I’m okay,” she rasps, swallowing thickly. “I’m okay now.” Shaky maybe, but better. She can breathe again. “Really, I–I am.”

“Yeah?”

She nods, and the motion makes her all the more aware of his hand on her throat. She has to fight back a pleasured sigh at the feeling of it, fight to keep her eyes from fluttering closed.

Bucky shifts in, sandwiching her even closer between their bodies. “So what?” he murmurs. “You want me to let go of you now?”

“Yeah,” she says, not feeling like she wants that at all. “Please.”

He hums. “You’re very good at saying ‘please’,” he observes. “And at telling me you’re not submissive.”

“M’not,” she insists, trying harder to make her voice firm, or at least more than a pathetic, breathy whimper. She looks him in the eyes again.

When had she stopped looking him in the eyes? She can’t remember. She feels like she’s watching this all happen through the lightest sort of fog, or maybe in slow motion, like a videotape playing at only 70% speed. Something like that, she thinks dazedly. She doesn’t feel like she has to worry about it, though. It's warm and heavy and nice here; like being under bathwater.

Bucky’s not looking at her in concern anymore. He looks more relaxed now, nicer, his eyes softer around the edges. And he hasn't let go of her, either.

“She down?”

That’s Steve’s voice, coming from right behind. Mary likes the way she can feel the quiet rumble of it where he’s pressed to her back.

“Mmhm. Waay down.”

“Is it normally that easy?”

Bucky chuckles, it's a nice sound that Mary likes, the richness of it making her want more, like how chocolate makes you want more.

“No, it’s not. This is deprivation, right here. Poor thing.”

“Is she gonna be okay?”

“Oh, sure. We’ll just stay like this for a minute. She needs the contact."

Something about the two of them talking about her like she’s not there is … well it multiplies the bathwater feeling. She hears Steve asking a question, and Bucky making an unhappy noise and answering,

“It should never be this easy. Right now she’d go down for anyone, for even the smallest thing.”

“And she was working in the service industry?” A huff of breath hits Mary’s ear. “Jesus.”

“... Hey,” Mary says, sure that she should protest somehow.

But Bucky’s hand tightens just the barest bit on her throat, and he shushes her sweetly, tells her she’s a “good girl,” and kisses the top of her head.

And Mary pretty much forgets what she was going to say, after that.

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Square N5: childhood trauma

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suikung · 2 months ago

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Hiiii Tomorrow is my birthday, yea so can you please write a smut with hidan(Naruto) about birthday sex!? (hear me out w the song omg)

Can be forced or r*pe if you're in the mood:p

(well I got lost in your writings since I've read that one which was a gangbang w Akatsuki's 5 members 😭)

Hidan is severely underrated! Been waiting for a proper Hidan request for a while. Also happy belated! Hope this is an adequate gift. Does the lay out of the village make sense? No. Do I care? No.

He’d been watching for a while. God it pained him so much he’s never been a man of patience. But Jashin told him this would be the one, the ultimate gift to Hidan for such devote loyalty, a virgin. So he had to wait around for your birthday, of course Lord Jashin knew nothing would please him more than receiving you on your birthday. So there he was. Now a week since Jashin had given him the orders to observe you and familiarize with your schedule. Such a boring person you were, you weren’t a ninja so there was no real purpose to your life. Running mundane errands and workings 4 out of the 7 days at a barbecue place. Either way, tomorrow would be the day Hidan would be allowed to have you all to himself and he could only thank Lord Jashin for having such a good eye for beauties.

Something was brewing this particular day. Even though it was your birthday, the air felt ominous. Dark clouds rolled in above the mountains of the village. Hopefully the rain would begin after you made it home from your shift but truly this day didn’t seem it would be good to you. As it stands, once the last five minutes of your shift began rain began to pour down from the heavens. This wasn’t rain this was literal bullets coming down. The poor plants outside of your job were flattened by the sheer amount of it and you only knew your path home was flooded.

Things never came easy when it came to living in a valley. Snow? Path blocked. Rain? Path blocked. Which is why now you’d have to take the forest trail slightly above the village to avoid flooded streets.

Hidan had been watching from the minute you’d left for your home. Seriously he had to watch you for days to know your schedule just for you to take a different route? Hidan was not a patient person and he’d be sure to have you apologize for this later, for wasting his time and deliberately making him do extra work. Whatever he’d just make himself comfortable while waiting for you in your home.

A slippery path it was to your home, but at last you could see your small home. Knowing full well it was just you living there there was a strange feeling upon entering. You weren’t stupid, a small look around and you could see small mud tracks at the front of the door. No time was spared as a cold blade made contact with your throat. “One sound babe and you’re done.” However it was seemed… amused? His words were said as if he had a maniacal smile across his face. “Close the door.” He left you in a weird position, move and turn around and he might think you’re running away. Speak up and tell him about it he might slice off your head. After a few seconds you could only think to kick it closed.

Hands up in defeat, he seemed to inch the blade just a fraction away from your skin. “Just take what you want.” It was amusing to him, he seemed as if he was about to faint from laughter. “Oh please I don’t want none of your ugly things. I’m here for you baby. I’m just here to give you the best birthday gift you could ask for and at the same time get the gift I was promised.” His scythe came down and with one motion your jacket and undergarments were cut down the middle. Anyone would have with instinct to cover up with their hands but his scythe still lay parallel to your body, leaving no room to hide your bare skin. “Lord Jashin was right, this will be fun. Now I think we should take this back to somewhere we can relax what do you say? Lead me to your room baby. I’m evil but not a monster, I won’t take you here.” Ha what a gentlemen he was. The dull curve of his blade wrapped around your back pushing you from the door. With no other choice you led him to your room.

Rain pattered against the house, seeming to increase with every minute. “Lay down. And take off the rest of your clothes for me.” While you discarded the remaining pieces of your upper clothes, Hidan shrugged off his cloak to reveal a bare chest and silver pendant. A budge in his pants was visible even in this low light of only the moon since your bed was right next to the window. Now you could see his face clearer, a maniacal smile just as you’d pictured followed by silver slick back hair. Burning his face into memory so if you came out of this alive you’d report him to every official you could. Your village was small but you lived in a great nation and knew of the Akatsuki’s recent actions and the imagery they were linked with, the red cloud on his cloak corroborated the information you already had. “Admiring what you’re about to have? Let’s put a name on this face yeah. It’s Hidan, don’t wear it out tonight.” Did this idiot think this was anything enjoyable for you.

His eyes were plastered onto your body, just like a wolf watching their prey before attacking. “Get closer to the edge.” A pointed baton now replaced where he held his scythe. Pointing it at you while he waited for you to reach him at the end of the bed. Hidan was no stranger to pain and tonight he’d ensure you both got a well dose of it. The bed was low to the floor, so at the edge you leveled out with his groin. Inched himself closer, he positioned the baton with the dip of your back, the sharp tip brushing over your back. It was a silent order. Trembling hands came to undress him, revealing a half hardened cock. The release and cold air seemed to excite him even more as it hardened. A few seconds of contemplation, if this was really the reality you were living or if at any moment you’d wake after falling asleep in the back room at work. The tip dug into your back, “Don’t be shy.” A cold hand wrapped around it. God he wanted to rip you up they you were just dry tugging it. His hand came down to guide yours, using his precum from the tip to lubricate the rest of it. “Do it right or I’ll kill you.” Hidan was direct, don’t try to ruin what he’d be waiting for.

All one could hope for was smooth sailing from here. Hand gaining warmth as you worked your way up and down his shaft. He could practically see the stars, it had been a while since he last had any sort of relief and a hand other than his own was enough to make a man moan. And he did. Hidan was incredibly vocal, never missing a beat when you glided over the vein on the underside of his cock, he needed more. His free hand came to the back of your head pushing you forward, the pointed tip pressed into you with just a hint of higher pressure. He didn’t want resistance so all you could do was make his tip at home in your mouth. Hand pumping the shaft, tongue circling his tip. “For a bitch being raped you sure do it as if you wanted to.” His words cut deep, after trying to repress them you couldn’t help the tears that fell. Tears of anger and sadness mixed in with tears of him bucking himself deeper down your throat. It only got better for him every second, he could feel the tension growing in his stomach. His pelvis practically touching your face, tears pouring down, Hidan couldn’t asked for a more perfect way to finish. But he could. Nothing would be complete without a little pain in the mix. His baton pierced the skin of your back, your teeth clenched around his tip. “Fuck!” The sensation of your teeth practically suffocating his tip was enough for him to spill himself into you. It was as if someone had spilled pure salt into your mouth, the taste making you gag. He noticed pulling himself out, hand squishing your lips together, “Swallow it. Don’t waste a fuck drop or we will start over until you swallow it all.” How more degraded could he make you feel? Feeling the gulp, he let go of your face.

He only needed to do a small preparation before he could fuck you properly. “Get off.” Once you were off the bed, using the same baton he pierced his hand and began to draw the same symbol on his necklace onto the bed with his own blood. The symbol was drawn on the bottom part of the bed where Hidan would position himself. You got back up with the command of his hand directing you where to lay down. Without warning he dug his baton into your thigh coating it now in your blood. Your scream rushed all the blood to his cock, hardening it up for the next round.

Licking it clean, his skin now turned into a skeletal pattern. Heart pounding against your ears. “Don’t do this please. Just let me go.” You killed him, such a funny thing you were. “Of course not. You were promised to me and I promised myself to give you an unforgettable present.” The baton was placed to the side, hands grabbing your waist pulling you flat down on the bed. The sheets rubbed against the open wound on your back causing your body to tense. With one hand he easily parted your legs revealing what he’d been waiting for. He wasted no time parting your folds and positioning himself. “Take it all.” In one breath he pummeled himself into you, breaking the hymen. An unnatural sounding scream ripped from the deepest part of your body. A pain so severe you could’ve been cut in half and it wouldn’t have measured up to this. He felt it too, while you screamed in pain, he moaned out in pleasure.

His cock was coating itself with more and more blood with every thrust. Blood acted as the lubricate seeing he couldn’t be bothered thinking about foreplay for you. He wiped your tears as he bottomed out. Pulling all the way out just to slam himself all the way in. Every movement ripped a scream out of you. It was all he had been wanting. He needed more. He grabbed the baton from his side handing it to you. “Stab me. Wherever you want but do it. Don’t be scared I know you want to.” Was this a trick? It couldn’t be this man was insane. Shaky hands aimed from his abdomen driving the baton straight above his belly button. Quickly letting go of it when you felt a hot pain in the same area. “Fuck… again.” Both of you now adorned the same bleeding wound. “No… no.” Pleas fell on death ears and he continued to thrust and place the baton into your hand. “Now grab it and do it again bitch.” Only thinking that perhaps a meater part of the body wouldn’t hurt as much you drove it into his thigh. No matter what you were practically on the verge of fainting.

Lifting your leg up he licked the blood dripping from your thigh as he continued to drilling himself into you. Blood from his abdomen dripped down to his groin mixing with yours. Baton again placed to the side he used his free hand to grip your neck. Not enough to fully restrict your breathing but enough the sides of his fingers were actively bruising your skin, and his in turn. “You’ve been a perfect bitch. Fuck I’m gonna cum inside you and give you your birthday present.” The pain, the blood he couldn’t hold it any longer. Closing his hand fully against your neck, you clawed at his arm. Your airways were completely restricted, whole body tensing up including your vaginal walls. He sped up, “Happy birthday.” With that he pushed himself as deep as he could into you. Cum coating your cervix. After a few seconds his grip let up on your neck.

“And this is for you Lord Jashin.” Seconds after he pulled himself out, he drove the baton through your stomach. Coughing up blood, you could see him smiling. “I hope you didn’t think I’d let you live. After all I have to thank Lord Jashin for this wonderful gift.”

#naruto #tw.dark content #akatsuki x reader #naruto shippuden #hidan #hidan x reader #hidan akatsuki #tw. rap3

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hughungrybear · 6 months ago

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So, I guess the original timeline goes something like this:

1. Korn and Tonkla are lovers. Korn has also just inherited the illegal online gambling business from his dad. Meanwhile, Great and Title are bffs.

2. Great committed a hit-and-run against the woman in Ep 1. No hints whether she survived the incident.

3. Dome witnessed Title abducting the gf and made everyone know through their class GC. Title retaliates and kidnaps Dome.

4. Great became an accomplice/witness in killing Dome. Dome's body was later found and processed by the police led by Win. As a result, Win meets Tonkla at the morgue.

5. Korn's leadership was sabotaged by outside forces leading to him asking for help from Fah's dad. He ignores Tonkla's desperate attempts to reach out while he solves the family business' problems (and fucking Fah as payment, quid pro quo). Also, a shareholder was assassinated.

6. Win was removed as lead investigator by his superior. Probably because it was hinted that Tle's family is as rich and powerful (maybe moreso) as Great's parents. Win and Tonkla become lovers, with Win promising he'll continue investigating Dome's death for Tonkla's sake. Korn gets kicked out of Tonkla's house (and life). Win also meets a possible witness (the GF's friend in previous eps) and gets threaten in the process.

7. Tonkla (for reasons undisclosed yet) learned who killed his brother and proceeded to do some quick street justice on Tle (involving paying a girl to drug him to sleep so that Tonkla can bash his head in). Win finds a body with the same head injuries as Dome's. Meanwhile the same superior who told him to get off Dome's case is now harassing him for being too slow in solving this one, which tracks if that was really Tle's body they found. He also got a name on the murder prints (though we don't know whose it is).

8. Nan is secretly working with Tyme to bring the Sriwat Cargo Business down. She sleeps with the creepy ass manager but gets caught and shot while trying to gain more evidence.

Now, this is where it gets murky with the new timeline. Ignoring the 4-minute time loops in between, we have:

1. Great calls an ambulance on the woman he accidentally ran over. She survives but she also eventually hires a killer (Ep 5) who shoots both Great and his mother dead (or near death, as in Great's case), which brings us to the first minute of Ep 1

2. The family convinces Great to visit the woman where he meets Tyme. Tyme learns who Great is and decides to be close to him for revenge.

3. Great saves Dome and brings him to the hospital. Great and Tyme becomes officially acquainted. Tyme also saves Great from vengeful Tle.

4. Dome wakes up on a hospital bed. Curiously, nobody called Tonkla despite Dome being confined in the hospital for (what looks like) a few days. He did not visit his beloved brother in the hospital nor picked him up when he was discharged. We see Dome riding a taxi and talking to Tonkla on the phone. But when he gets off the taxi and greets Tonkla, he vanishes (just like the cat in Ep 1). In this sense, both Dome and the cat were like echoes to Tonkla. We don't see Tonkla in this new timeline. He is, for all intents and purposes, stuck in the original timeline.

5. Great keeps seeing things related to Tyme that had not happened outside the 4-minutes (i.e., seeing them have sex when he bumped Tyme in the hospital, reading "can you forgive me" on that note attached on the cup of Thai tea instead of "Don't forget to go to the hospital".

6. Great and Tyme go on a sweet date involving claw machines and ends the day with a(n almost) kiss.

7. Nan calls Tyme while trying to escape. Tyme dares to attack Korn but gets identified by Great in the process.

I feel like there is something to be said on Tyme's tendency to prolong the "inevitable" just like Den accused him of doing with a dying patient in this ep. Coupled by the fact that Tyme doesn't seemed to sleep (based on the off-cut remark from the janitor in the gym is Ep 2), it seems Tyme somehow holds the key to this whole mess.

Also, why is Tonkla absent in the new timeline?

#4 minutes the series #4 minutes #4 minutes ep 3 rewatch #thai bl #4 minutes theory

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aois-amaterasu-painting · 7 months ago

Text

GiGS vol. 520 (July 2021)

Interviewer: This time, with "MASS", the production was carried out over a long period, wasn't it?

RUKI: At the time when we were talking about releasing songs, the COVID-19 pandemic happened, and as I was considering how to proceed, I realized that the songs we had made until then were not something I wanted to listen to in this situation. What I wanted to present gradually changed. Rather than having a specific concept, I wanted to convey the latest evolution straightforwardly. That was quite the aim.

Interviewer: Among the songs born in that period was "BLINDING HOPE," which was released in advance.

RUKI: Yes. "BLINDING HOPE" had 4 to 5 different versions, and it was still uncertain how it would turn out. So, while making various changes, we created it with the idea that it would be the first song for the fans who had been waiting, serving as a starting point.

Interviewer: Around spring last year, when you were supposed to be deep into song production, you mentioned that you hadn't yet created a core song. When the members heard this song, they all felt it was the lead track. How would you describe the elements of a lead track in your words?

RUKI: In the past, a lead track might have been imagined as a song for a single. While it's the standout track of the album, it's also a kind of middle-ground song. With something thematic like "DOGMA," it's different, but it's important that the song conveys the overall atmosphere of the album and the current direction of the band. It's also something that can be listened to as the entry point to the album. I wanted it to be the trademark song of the album.

Interviewer: It's truly a song that represents the GazettE, and it seems some fans are already covering it.

RUKI: I've heard a few covers, and you know the crunchy sound that kicks it off? For some reason, everyone delays it. That's where you have to play it down with full force. That's what I want to say. It was good to have the opportunity to say that (laughs).

Interviewer: That's valuable advice (laughs). Did the other songs develop from there?

RUKI: Yes. "BLINDING HOPE" took an unusually long time to finalize. So, as a sort of reaction, when we started working on "THE PALE" and "NOX," the general image came together fairly quickly. At first, we kept creating the foundational tracks of the album one after another. As we went on, we integrated ideas like wanting to include certain types of songs and thinking about how they would be performed live.

Interviewer: It's an album that makes you really want to see the live performances, and moreover, it's catchy.

RUKI: Yes. We're not an overly niche band to begin with, so we focused quite a bit on the melody and catchiness of the riffs that we naturally have. The early version of "BLINDING HOPE" was extremely complex. There were many other songs with intense structures and very complex compositions. But after that, we aimed to create something simple and cool with a certain momentum.

Interviewer: What was the intention behind "NOX" and "THE PALE"?

RUKI: "THE PALE" came after "BLINDING HOPE," so initially, I was trying to make something that would rest my ears a bit. Then it ended up having a lot of elements. So, in contrast, "NOX" started with a phrase that came to mind while playing the guitar, and I wanted to shape it somehow. It was an extremely simple creation process, and then we added touches like violin for flavor.

Interviewer: "THE PALE" also features string sounds, but the violin in "NOX" stands out.

RUKI: It really does. It felt like the song was finalized because of that. It's something that hasn't really been seen in the GazettE until now.

Interviewer: The track order of the album is exquisite. Especially placing "THE PALE" and "MOMENT" in the middle section, surrounded by intense songs.

RUKI: It incorporates elements of the GazettE's live performances. The dark parts, the spatial elements like in "THE PALE," and songs like "MOMENT," which we haven't really had before.

Interviewer: "MOMENT" is indeed a rare type of song for the GazettE.

RUKI: Yes. This type of song usually has distortion in the middle, but this time I deliberately excluded it, adding a folk-like feel. The songs created later have many elements, so I wanted to do something extremely stripped-down and raw. Also, I always jot down ideas as they come to me.

Interviewer: How about "Daku"?

RUKI: "Daku" was something that happened by chance. When I was thinking about what to create next, I came up with the dissonant-sounding part at the beginning. At that time, I had a slightly grunge, somewhat weathered-sounding melody recorded in my voice memos, and it fit perfectly with that. I just wanted to incorporate a dirty feeling into the melody, but it surprisingly turned out to be something I really liked.

Interviewer: "ROLLIN'" plays a role of continuing the momentum from "BLINDING HOPE," doesn't it?

RUKI: Actually, "ROLLIN'" was initially a ballad made before "BLINDING HOPE." I originally wanted to have a lot of percussion and a bit of a folk music vibe in the album, and I thought of making it a main feature. But then I realized it wasn't right, so I significantly increased the BPM and added the guitars on top. So, the kind of music I initially wanted to make is quite close to the opening SE of the album.

Interviewer: In the track "COUNT-10" positioned at the beginning of the album, there's also an industrial atmosphere that's quite characteristic of you, RUKI. You can also hear a percussive rhythm.

RUKI: Yes, that was something that came about during mastering (laughs). It felt good to return to the original idea at such a timing.

Interviewer: "BARBARIAN" is an aggressive song as the title suggests, with a sharp riff driving it forward.

RUKI: Yes. Initially, I played with it without any particular plan and was struggling with how to develop the chorus. I wanted it to become increasingly decadent. It's not just intense, but also somewhat unpredictable towards the end.

Interviewer: This track probably has the most variations in the album.

RUKI: Yes. Even during recording, there were moments of, "Wait, what was this melody?" (laughs). It was originally all over the place, and I just wanted to somehow connect everything nicely.

Interviewer: Since it appears suddenly in the latter part of the album, it keeps you on your toes until the end (laughs).

RUKI: Especially since it comes after "MOMENT" (laughs). In terms of how it was made, it's similar to how we approached "DOGMA." While making simpler tracks, I felt the need for something complex. Without such elements, the album would feel lacking to me.

Interviewer: The album concludes with "LAST SONG," which has a very weighty presence that carries everything.

RUKI: Yes. I wanted to end with a song that could hold its own more than "BLINDING HOPE." It was a song we put a lot of effort into. I felt it had to be something truly satisfying, and it was a challenging process, but I aimed to create something quintessentially the GazettE. This song gave me confidence in the album as a whole.

Interviewer: The words in the lyrics also seem to be fitting for these times.

RUKI: I never expected the state of emergency to continue like this. In a sense, I was thinking of preserving what we could only create in 2020 and 2021. These words are not just directed at the fans but are also for ourselves, aiming to return to our original state amidst the ups and downs. It's also about reminiscing about live performances. If these feelings can be conveyed throughout the album, that would be great.

Interviewer: When did you start working on the songs for the album?

Uruha: We had our first selection meeting in December two years ago, and from then on, each of us started composing songs. Initially, we didn't have a specific concept when we began production. So, we were making songs as we liked, but as the songwriting progressed and recording approached, we began to see the path we needed to take. It felt like we had reached a point where the goal was unexpectedly narrow. Also, in August last year, RUKI brought in "BLINDING HOPE" and proposed making it the lead track. It seemed like RUKI saw something within that song, and from then on, RUKI started bringing in more songs. As a result, all the songs on "MASS" this time were either written entirely by RUKI or he was deeply involved in them.

Interviewer: Did you feel any resistance to not having your own compositions included?

Uruha: As musicians, we have the desire to create and express ourselves through songs that we want to release to the world. However, when it comes to releasing music as the GazettE, the personal aspect has gradually become less important. Rather than who composed the songs, what's more important is how we create works that will impact our listeners. So, it didn't really bother me that my own songs weren't included this time. It turned out to be a good album, so I'm satisfied with that.

Interviewer: Indeed, it doesn't feel like a solo work by RUKI but rather an album filled with the essence of the GazettE. Next, let's talk about the guitars on this album.

Uruha: This time, there were many instances where we reproduced the guitar parts based on the demos RUKI created. RUKI had a strong will to achieve a specific vision. As a result, while we did change the irregular parts musically, we tried to stick to the approach of the demos as much as possible. When I really wanted to change something, I would throw it out there during pre-production, saying, "I've changed this," and there were songs where those changes were incorporated, and other songs where we discussed and decided that the previous version or a different pattern was better. We experimented with various things and reached the current form after being satisfied with the results.

Interviewer: That's a good approach. However, unlike the previous stereo-oriented guitar sound, there are more parts where you play in unison with Aoi. How do you feel about that?

Uruha: This time, we focused on the sound pressure throughout the album, so I think that's the right approach. I've always wanted to establish the individuality of the left and right guitars, but this time we decided to respect the composer's intention more. For RUKI, it was important to consider what melodies would work against the background guitars and rhythm. Also, this kind of approach was refreshing as we hadn't done it much before.

Interviewer: Even with the unison, the subtle differences in nuance and tone create depth and breadth, and I think this way of handling guitars is nice too.

Uruha: I wanted to highlight those aspects. We wanted to avoid having one person play all the backing tracks or doubling them mechanically. In fact, we tried an approach where one person played all the backing parts. But we found that the sound created by both of us playing the same thing felt better.

Interviewer: I think that was the right decision. Which songs do you think have a strong impression in terms of guitar parts?

Uruha: "BLINDING HOPE" has a strong impression in many aspects. The song starts with an introduction and then the band kicks in with a bang. It was crucial how we started the song because it was our first release in a long time and our lead track. I felt that if this part wasn't impressive, it wouldn't work. Until we arrived at the current form, there were many twists and turns. Also, when this song came up, I reconsidered how we were recording. The recording process completely changed my thoughts and approaches. Initially, we recorded in the studio using a cabinet and stood the mic up to capture a realistic sense of space. However, with the traditional method, I felt that the impact was lacking. So, we stopped using the cabinet and searched for the best way to record.

Interviewer: That was quite a process. The guitars on "MASS" have a clarity and quickness in their attack that's unique to digital, yet they don't sound too close to the ear, which I think is excellent.

Uruha: Thank you very much. Through trial and error, we concluded that we needed to use a cabinet plugin, and the choice of cabinet was extremely important. Also, RUKI wanted to distort the guitar quite a bit, but my personal guitars didn't quite achieve the sound he wanted. So, we borrowed a guitar with active pickups from ESP and used active pickups for the first time this time. "BLINDING HOPE" used passive pickups, but the rest were all active. However, for the leads and guitar solos, we recorded them all using a cabinet. We recorded the sounds that were meant to stand out in an analog manner and the backing parts that were meant to be more in the background digitally to achieve tightness. We valued this front-to-back contrast.

Interviewer: That's a method befitting someone well-versed in both analog and digital techniques like yourself. Since you mentioned guitar solos, could you talk about the guitar solos on this album?

Uruha: I had set aside the guitar solos for a while. I was focused on exploring the texture of the backing tracks, so I put the solos on hold. Towards the end of the production, I recorded them all at once. I particularly like the guitar solos in "BLINDING HOPE" and "MOMENT". For "BLINDING HOPE" I felt I should play an aggressive solo, but the length was quite long, so starting aggressively wouldn't last (laughs). Instead, I thought it was very important to create a dramatic development and changed direction midway. I tried various things from there and finally settled on the current form, focusing on building up towards the end. For "MOMENT," the backing is entirely acoustic, so I decided to play the solo on acoustic guitar as well. From the beginning, I wanted the sound to be acoustic and never considered using an electric guitar for the solo. In terms of phrases, RUKI had played some in the demo stage, so I used those as references.

Interviewer: The high-quality guitar solos deepen the world of the songs. How did you record the acoustic guitar for "MOMENT"?

Uruha: I recorded the acoustic guitar at home. I simply set up two mics and used compression while recording. When you play arpeggios, the volume level is low, and it's difficult to control dynamics. The engineer processes this with compression later on, but I wanted to control the dynamics myself while playing, so I decided to record with compression. Being able to play while visualizing the finished product was the most beneficial thing for me. Also, I enjoyed being able to do everything myself, such as mic arrangement and EQ adjustment.

Interviewer: That's very characteristic of you, Uruha, with your engineering skills. Now, the album "MASS" is a must-listen, combining the GazettE’s essence with a fresh feel. How do you feel now that you've completed the album?

Uruha: First of all, I really want to express my gratitude for completing this album. Production took a lot of time, and there were times when I wondered if we could really do it. However, with no live performances scheduled due to COVID, we had the opportunity to thoroughly focus on recording, and there was also the feeling that our efforts would be in vain if we didn't do this well. So, we put in more effort and spent more time than ever before to create something we can confidently call our masterpiece, so I hope you look forward to its release. However, since the songs grow when performed live, "MASS" isn’t complete yet.

Interviewer: I understand. Because of that, I think there are many listeners who are eager to see the GazettE live as soon as possible.

Uruha: Although I can’t promise exactly when we will perform live, we are constantly working towards it. Ideally, we want to perform live, not online. Even if the venue capacity is halved, we want to do it live. Also, if we do perform live, I want it to be a level beyond just not showing any signs of our hiatus; I want to show an evolved the GazettE. So, when we do hold a live concert, please come to the venue and experience it.

Interviewer: As the work on "MASS" progressed, RUKI ended up writing most of the songs. Did you have any resistance to not including your own songs?

Aoi: Not at all. I thought that RUKI probably had a lot of things he wanted to express and convey, and if that was the case, he should be the one to transmit it. While asserting what I want my instrument to sound like is important, I felt it was better for someone with a clear vision of what they wanted to express to take the lead. Everyone seemed to feel the same way, and there was no pushback like, "I want to do it this way." If it had been just 2-3 years since we started the band, it might have been different, but we’ve created many works, and this isn't our last album. So, this way of making the album was totally fine and an interesting experiment.

Interviewer: Even though RUKI took the lead on the album, it’s still overflowing with the essence of the GazettE. I heard that "HOLD" and "FRENZY" were mainly created by the instrumentalists.

Aoi: RUKI kept bringing in songs, and before we knew it, there were only two slots left. Initially, RUKI and Kai had started working a bit on "FRENZY," but it was put on hold. We decided to work on "HOLD" first as an instrumental group, aiming for a straightforward song that would grow well in live performances. So we shaped it with that in mind before handing it over to Ruki to reflect his intentions and complete it.

Interviewer: The hard tunes on this album are both intense and easy to listen to, and "HOLD" is dark yet catchy.

Aoi: I thought it was okay even if it didn’t have much melody because we were focusing on a “frenzied” feeling. But when we passed it to RUKI, he added a solid vocal line, making it both dark and catchy. For "FRENZY," RUKI and Kai had only made the intro, which initially wasn’t to my personal taste (laughs). I thought it was a bit too pop, at first. But since the intro was a must-keep, we worked on the other parts, and eventually, even the intro was reworked. We created multiple versions for every part of "HOLD" and "FRENZY." So, we were able to make it complex or straightforward, and decided the current form was the best.

Interviewer: Both songs are really high-quality compositions. Now, let’s talk about the guitars on "MASS."

Aoi: This time, we mainly reproduced what RUKI had included in the demos. If there were parts where I thought I’d do it differently, I suggested changes, but usually, we ended up going with RUKI’s ideas after trying both versions. So, the guitar parts are quite simple this time. There are parts where we deliberately simplified RUKI’s phrases, not breaking them into finer notes but making them larger. We have two guitarists in our band. Visual kei twin-guitar bands often create competing guitar phrases, but I felt we’d already done that enough. This time, I wanted to focus on clear roles for lead and side guitars. I was interested in this approach and wanted to experience the side guitar position. I wanted to explore songs from the side guitar perspective.

Interviewer: The side/rhythm guitar might seem plain, but it’s deep and fun when you get into it.

Aoi: Yes, it’s great as a musical instrument. It felt really good. "Feeling good" is a very vague expression (laughs). There are layered phrases, rhythms, and sequences, and the role of the side guitar is to connect them well. In the past, I thought as long as the bass kept the rhythm tight, the guitar could just hit the main points and follow the broader rhythm. This time, though, I matched the drums closely and paid more attention to filling the guitar's frequency range and determining what to cut. This approach was very enjoyable and made me appreciate the importance of backing guitar.

Interviewer: So, you had new discoveries with this approach. Which song left a strong impression on you with its guitar work?

Aoi: "MOMENT." In this song, both Uruha and I played acoustic guitars throughout, with Uruha handling the arpeggios while I focused on strumming. It was a first-time approach, and it was fulfilling. Also, I used the acoustic guitar version of the IR (cabinet simulator) to record the acoustic guitar. Nowadays, when you hear an acoustic guitar in music, you sometimes can't tell if it's live or programmed. I wanted to explore that aspect a bit, so I decided to use IR. I recorded it with just the sound of the piezo pickup without setting up a microphone, and then I refined it.

Interviewer: The gentle texture and appropriate airy feel are pleasant, and it's surprising that you recorded it with only the piezo pickup sound.

Aoi: I did my best (laughs). I only knew the sound of K. Yairi and Martin guitars. But this time, I used the modeling of a Gibson Hummingbird. It has a very beautiful sound. In reality, I wouldn't want to buy it because the care is troublesome (laughs). When I recorded it, it had a more acoustic guitar-like sound with resonance, but since Uruha wanted to go thicker with the arpeggio, I thought it would be too much if I also made my sound rough. So, I deliberately made it thinner. I aimed for a fullness like the strumming of pop artists in Western music, while incorporating a slightly darker feeling from Japanese music. I like the darker tone of Japanese acoustic guitar.

Interviewer: Choosing to make the sound thinner shows a sharp sense. Also, the electric guitar sounds on this album are even more refined.

Aoi: When we first recorded "BLINDING HOPE," we used a cabinet, but the closeness of the sound wasn't what RUKI had in mind. So, we stopped using the cabinet and tried using IR, and finally settled on a plugin cabinet. At first, Uruha used a plugin, and I used IR, but the IR sound became too rich, so I adjusted to match Uruha. I didn't expect the sound to change so much with different cabinets. We tried various amps, but RUKI kept rejecting them, saying "This isn't it, this isn't it." In the end, we switched to a plugin cabinet, and it turned out that any head would do (laughs).

Interviewer: The sound isn’t too close to the ear but still has the fullness of a cabinet, making it hard to believe it was recorded direct. Another impressive aspect of your guitar sound in this album is the wide range.

Aoi: That’s something that changed over time. Originally, Uruha had a wider and more dynamic range. But that reversed at some point. This time, we worked on that a lot. My sound was wide-ranged and loud, so I narrowed it down. Uruha’s sound is more solid, so if we don’t adjust, the two guitars won’t sit well together.

Interviewer: The careful crafting results in a pleasant thickness and spread created by the two guitars. Now that "MASS" is finished, how do you feel?

Aoi: "MASS" might sound very simple at first listen. What the band is doing is quite simple, creating the atmosphere with sequences. While I have no complaints about this approach, there are parts where I feel my guitar might have become too simple. I am satisfied with my role, and enjoyed supporting the overall sound as the side guitarist. However, there are fans who could be called "Aoi enthusiasts", who favor my compositions specifically, and I wonder how they will take it. I feel confident about what I did in "MASS," and I want people to understand that my passion for music and the GazettE hasn't diminished just because the guitar parts are simpler. The simplicity gives me more leeway in my playing, allowing for a different kind of performance on stage. Therefore, if you listen to "MASS" and think, "What's this?" I hope you look forward to the live performance.

Interviewer: Can you tell us your honest feelings now that the album "MASS" is complete?

REITA: Among all our albums, this one is probably the most suited for live performances, so I really want to showcase it soon. The track order also closely resembles a live setlist. When we released "NINTH," I thought we had an amazing tour, so I aimed to create an album that evolved further from there, and I think we achieved that.

Interviewer: "BLINDING HOPE" was released as the lead single, and I heard that it was recorded ahead of the others.

REITA: Yes, that's right. It was similar with our previous album and "Falling" as well. We finished mixing one song first and used that as a guideline to record the others. It helps create a framework.

Interviewer: How did you approach the recording this time?

REITA: I bought a lot of equipment beforehand. Even just with compact effects pedals, I bought around five… Honestly, it was quite an expense (laughs). We had used the equipment from the previous recording and tour extensively, and I wanted to advance the sound further. There is still a lot of equipment I haven’t tried, and I hoped to find something even better. Renting for just a day doesn’t really give you a good idea, so even though it might end up being a waste, I decided to buy and try everything. In the actual recording, I ended up using the orthodox SansAmp. I had been using it in live performances before, but a new version with mids was released. In the end, I didn't tweak the mids much and used it flat, but it fit the current songs perfectly.

Interviewer: I heard you bought a new bass too.

REITA: Yes, I bought two, but the one I used in the recording was the second one, a Dingwall Z3, a 2020 NAMM SHOW model. Initially, I used the first bass I bought for "BLINDING HOPE," but after re-recording with the new one, it sounded even better. Time was tight, so it was hard to suggest replacing it, but everyone agreed the new one was better, which was a relief (laughs).

Interviewer: The bass has a unique fret design, right?

REITA: At first, I wasn’t sure how it would feel, but I got used to it right away and didn't find it difficult to play.

Interviewer: Was there any key song that stood out during the recording?

REITA: Ah, for example, I moved quite a bit with the phrase in the chorus of "濁 (Daku)." The song is dark, so I tried not to stay too high up. I aimed for a slightly heavy feel while having the phrase move, going back and forth to lower chords. The bass volume is a bit higher in this song, and I think the bass presence fits the tone.

Interviewer: "ROLLIN'" has an intense sound that promises immediate impact in live performances. It's quite an interesting track.

REITA: I struggled a lot with the sound production for "ROLLIN'." Nothing seemed to click, so we re-amped it again on the last day of mixing. For example, in "BLINDING HOPE," the intro has a ground-shaking lower end, but that's because I’m playing open strings. However, in "ROLLIN'," I'm holding down the second fret continuously, so even if I tried to make the same sound, it wouldn't turn out the same. So, we adjusted it to fit between the kick and the guitar.

Interviewer: The slap bass at the end of the chorus is also impressive, but adjusting the sound with other parts seems difficult.

REITA: Originally, the song had everything up to the end of the chorus. During the mix of "BLINDING HOPE" or something, RUKI brought in the continuation, saying something like, "There's a bass solo, so do it." In the demo, it was programmed, but the nuance suggested it was supposed to be slap bass. However, running it through an amp made the sound too wild, so we ended up using a plugin. I'm still not sure how we’ll reproduce it live.

Interviewer: How about "NOX"?

REITA: "NOX" has a tempo that’s quite different from what the GazettE usually does, so I’m looking forward to playing it live. In the past, I might have thought this kind of song wouldn’t have a great groove live, but after the "NINTH" tour, I believe it will work well. Playing at this tempo feels really good, so I hope it creates a big wave in the audience.

Interviewer: The bass line in this song gives the impression that it's played with absolute accuracy..

REITA: The phrase itself isn’t difficult, but the picking was really tough. I focused on keeping the pick level to ensure a clear "terodero" sound throughout. I didn’t want it to sound like alternate picking, but using down-only picking didn’t flow well, so I tried to find a balance.

Interviewer: The ballad-like songs such as "THE PALE" and "MOMENT" have interesting approaches too.

REITA: In intense songs, there are many unison parts, but in ballads, I think the bass has moments to shine (laughs). Especially in "MOMENT," which progresses with acoustic guitar strumming, the bass can handle intricate arrangements.

Interviewer: I'm really looking forward to seeing how "MOMENT" will be performed live. "HOLD" seems to embody the intensity of a live performance.

REITA: This might be the song most tailored for live performance. The phrase itself is almost in unison with the guitar, so there’s nothing particularly standout, but it has a sense of band unity and isn't just intense; it has dynamics. We shared tracks on Pro Tools and discussed them over Zoom while creating this song. This was our first time using this method, but I think it might be a viable approach for future projects. We worked until someone said "I can’t go on anymore," which was tough but also fun (laughs).

Interviewer: The bass drives this song as well.

REITA: Mixing the bass within the double bass drum parts is challenging. It often gets buried. I can’t count how many times I said, "Isn’t the kick too loud?" (laughs). We approached "FRENZY" similarly to "HOLD." For the bass, I aimed for a cohesive sound without cluttering it, sometimes reducing the picking to avoid interference.

Interviewer: The bouncy rhythm in the chorus is excellent.

REITA: This was quite difficult. At first, Uruha played the phrase and asked, "How about this chorus?" We all played along with the strings, but the drums didn’t quite fit. The bass rhythm is tricky too. Avoiding ghost notes makes it harder to catch the rhythm. The energy should rise sharply, but the hands need to stay calm to pull it off.

Interviewer: The last song on the album, "LAST SONG," feels like a particularly important track, doesn't it?

REITA: As soon as the song starts, it gives off a strong feeling of "the beginning of the end." From the bass perspective, I played the chorus not with detailed phrases but with a slight undulating sensation, aiming for a bit of a driving feel. The intro is tightly synchronized vertically. This became clear once the piece was finished.

Interviewer: With this work completed, do you have a vision of the musical future of the GazettE?

REITA: Musically speaking, I think this album represents evolution rather than a new challenge. When the GazettE makes it, it really becomes a GazettE album, and I was reminded of that again. But I also realized the difficulty of the bass guitar again. This past year, I’ve particularly focused on the bass. I’ve watched a lot of playthrough videos on YouTube and bought a lot of gear. When you buy equipment, you naturally end up spending more time playing the bass, right? I want to bring those experiences to our live performances. However, while I can clearly envision the live performances, the uncertainty of the tour schedule due to COVID-19 is quite frustrating. Nevertheless, I want to keep honing my skills so that we can fully express this album when the time comes.

Interviewer: Did you have any themes or concepts in mind when creating the new album?

Kai: No, we didn’t. It’s always like that with the GazettE. We speak through our music; without songs, there’s nothing to talk about. Starting with a concept is quite rare for us. Usually, as we create songs, themes and concepts naturally emerge. Through the song selection process, we find how to express the current GazettE. Initially, each member was making songs, but later, we started shaping the songs RUKI brought in. There wasn’t a standout song for a long time, but then the pandemic hit, our March concert was canceled, and we had time to reflect on ourselves. During that period, I think RUKI found the concept. "BLINDING HOPE" came together in April, and we unanimously agreed it should be included. After that, RUKI kept bringing in songs, and by shaping them, we completed most of the album. The last couple of songs were made by all of us, but even those were strongly influenced by RUKI. So, "MASS" ended up being entirely RUKI's work, which is a first for us, but it still feels very much like a GazettE album, so it doesn’t feel strange to me.

Interviewer: It’s more important what kind of work it is, rather than who made the songs. Let’s talk about the drums in "MASS." The drumming throughout the album is very energetic.

Kai: Everyone says that (laughs). People often say that, but I don't really feel that way.

Interviewer: Really? The approach of incorporating intricate patterns, fast fills, and double bass throughout the album made me realize once again how amazing your drumming is.

Kai: I wonder... People often say it's busy (laughs). To me, it's just a continuation of the approach I've always taken, so I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special. When I listen to a demo, I naturally hear the drum patterns in my head and then just bring them to life.

Interviewer: It's impressive that such intricate drumming comes naturally to you and that you can actually play it. Do you ever think that a drum pattern you came up with is too difficult and consider simplifying it?

Kai: No, I don’t. It’s important to bring the imagined patterns to life, and if something is difficult, I just practice it. Besides, the other members have also gained knowledge about drumming, so these days, they don’t suggest physically impossible drum patterns like they used to. There used to be many times when I'd think, "I’d need three legs and four arms to play that" (laughs). Now, the drumming is more logical, so with practice, I can play it.

Interviewer: Thrilling songs have thrilling drums, and songs with a sense of speed amplify that feeling even more. Your drumming really pushes the music forward.

Kai: I'm glad you feel that way. I don't know how other bands construct their music, but for us, the speed and everything is carried by the drums. The drum is our standard. First, we create speed with drums, and then we discuss how to hook onto that. So, drums don't really go off into a different world.

Interviewer: It seems like many patterns amplify speed by adding sequences, but your approach is quite the opposite.

Kai: Yes. Also, even if you want to create momentum and speed with drums alone, it's different from just running. You need to pay attention to keeping the rhythm, and especially in intense songs like "HOLD" and "FRENZY" this time, you can't just go with the flow. It's meticulously crafted phrases as a band sound, so you need to integrate well with guitars and bass. If you go with just momentum, it becomes messy. Therefore, I consciously try to play tighter, and I think it requires a lot of attention during live performances.

Interviewer: The rhythm that combines tightness and momentum feels incredibly good. Another thing is that with drumming like yours, sound is also important. The drum sound in this work, with its blend of sound pressure and clarity, is ideal.

Kai: We've tried many different things with drum sounds, but this time we used the same method as on "NINTH." Basically, we recorded separately: just the kick, just the snare, just the cymbals. We record like that, but we also use off-mics, not just close mics. This way, we can achieve the clarity unique to separate recording along with the natural airiness you get when recording normally.

Interviewer: Setting up off-mics is an unexpected approach. However, I often hear that multi-tracking is more challenging than simply playing drums.

Kai: It's really challenging. Just playing the kick alone is quite difficult, and you can't play fills smoothly within the flow. Also, you can't hit the crash in the middle of a fill. So, while rolling the toms, you end up hitting a sponge where the crash should be (laughs).

Interviewer: Especially in Western music, many bands avoid such intricacies and opt for programmed drums. Your skill in doing this live is impressive.

Kai: I wonder about that. It might come down to being about programming if you pursue it deeply. But right now, we're allowed to do it with live multi-tracking. By recording separately, there are parts where you can focus on other aspects. For example, when putting a crash at the end of a fill, you need to keep it in mind, but if you don't worry about the crash, you can strike with edge until the last hit. I changed my approach this time and got closer to the ideal sound.

Interviewer: It must be challenging, but if possible, I hope you won’t switch to programming in the future. So, what drum set did you use this time?

Kai: I used my Yamaha set. It's the oak one I use for live shows, and it's really good. I decided to use it because I like the tone of the toms, and overall, its quality is high. For the snare, I used both Sonor’s bell bronze and TAMA’s bell brass, depending on the song. I like the sound of bronze and brass, and it’s easy to shape the GazettE's sound with them. We really like tuning it low to get a solid, rich sound. I tried various options, but in the end, I settled on those two.

Interviewer: "MASS" indeed has many highlights in its drumming. How do you feel after making this album?

Kai: Through the production of this album, I once again realized that the GazettE is a very positive band. It’s easy to fall into negative thinking, like "we can't do this because of the pandemic," but we took it as a driving force to keep moving. We released a new music video on March 10th, exactly one year after canceling our concert on March 10th last year. This shows the strength we have as a band to reach that point. Personally, I was very affected by the cancellation of the March concert. The pandemic took a toll on my mind, and there were times when I thought it would be dangerous for us to remain silent for so long. I realized how weak I was as an individual. But I was greatly saved by RUKI bringing in "BLINDING HOPE." The way the band picked up from there was truly amazing. I feel that this strength is unique to the GazettE, and "MASS" is packed with the GazettE's resilience and unwavering spirit. So, I hope it reaches as many people as possible.

Interviewer: I'm sure it will. Also, I’m looking forward to your live performances.

Kai: I really want to perform live again. When we perform live, I want to surpass fans' expectations...or rather, I think we must. As time passes, fans’ memories get idealized. We can't betray that, and I also have a desire to always surpass it. So, it can't just be a "long time no see!" kind of live show. We have accumulated something within us, and there's a strong desire to release that. I don't think it will be an ordinary live show, so please look forward to it.

___________________

All translations are ChatGPT Scans: rad-is-more

#the gazette #mass #interview translations #scans #gigs #magazines #mi

54 notes · View notes

shivayagojo · 27 days ago

Text

BAHRAIN GP, crashing hot mess

masterlist

It's time for the Bahrain Grand Prix. Round 4 kicks off the second race of this triple header.

see comments below

florence4ever: Ava coming into this GP with a big lead is just what she needs

> greenbanana: hopefully that podium streak continues

madmax: Max has been fast all of practice. Please Max string it together 🙏

bbisbroke: Ferrari please step up your game! Lewis needs his 8th 🏆

> team44: As much as I love LH, Ava is having a much stronger season right now.

youtube.com

Porsche F1: Ava or Duds

Admin: Welcome, Ava, to your first challenge for the Porsche YouTube channel. We've got a set of quotes and you have to tell if you said that or we made it up. Ready?

"I feel I'm about to be real exposed right here. I don't where to went to find some of these, but sure. Let's do this."

"Someone get this guys eyes checked. He's driving like he's seeing colors for the first time."

"Oh that's definitely me. It was like in my F3 days or something. Don't remember the guy I said it to."

Admin: Correct.

"This isn't driving on rain, this is ice!"

"That doesn't sound like me. I would never come about the rain. It's rain too much in Belgium for me to hate it."

Admin: That is correct. It's not you.

"If I see another damn backmarker on this lap, I'm going to crash into them."

"Hah. That definitely sounds like something I would say, but I don't think I said that one."

Admin: Correct.

"My biggest fear in the world is garlic getting in my nails when I cook."

"... That's not me, is it? There's no way I said something as stupid as that."

Admin: That actually is you.

"What? When did I say that?... I mean, yeah, I definitely do think that's annoying cause when you cut or grate garlic it has their weird texture that stick to everything and digs between your... Damn, I think I did say that. How the hell did you guys find that?"

SATURDAY'S are beginning to look like hell for Ava. She has the pace, the raw pace, to put this car on pole every time. But every time something goes wrong. In Australia it was the setup, in China it was the whole car. Somehow she managed to bag pole in Japan, but here in Bahrain her chances of pole were looking bleak.

MAX VERSTAPPEN was on fire the entire weekend. Bahrain always favored the Red Bull cars and Max was a driver who could drag a tractor to the podium. Though surprisingly, he had not gotten a single on this year. So Bahrain was redemption for the Dutch. He set the fastest laps in all three sessions, bagging pole by more than two tenths of a second. His old rival, Charles Leclerc, was right behind him. Charles had beaten Max on this track before. And he was looking to do it again.

WHERE WERE THE PORSCHES? Well, Vettel had managed to slide up into P4 after Russel slid wide in Turn 3. Florence was down in P6 however. No biggie. It could've been worse. What's the worst that could happen on race day?

Quite a mixup for Qualifying. What does Sunday have in store?

see comments below

madmax: MAD MAX ON POLE!!

> undiagnosed: DU DU DU

chuckleclerc: Max vs Charles is back!

> vettel_forever: Hopefulky Seb can make it an exciting three way battle!

> delulu: Max and Lando was fun, but this was what everyone wants 💪

heavyoncopium: Ava Florence to come from P6 to the dub 🥇

ava_fan_12: Ava Florence's race pace is insane. P6 today, P1 tomorrow. Let's goooo!! 🚀

> f1fanatic24: This is her year!! P6 today, P1 on Sunday 💪🔥

BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID

MAX VERSTAPPEN

CHARLES LECLERC

LANDO NORRIS

SEBASTIAN VETTEL

GEORGE RUSSELL

AVA FLORENCE

LIAM LAWSON

LEWIS HAMILTON

OSCAR PIASTRI

CARLOS SAINZ

FERNANDO ALONSO

ALEXANDER ALBON

ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI

PIERRE GASLY

ESTEBAN OCON

NICO HULKENBERG

OLLIE BEARMAN

LANCE STROLL

YUKI TSUNODA

JACK DOOHAN

GABRIEL BORTOLETO

ISACK HADJAR

FLORENCE HAS THE LEAD of the championship. With 2 wins and a podium in every race so far, she's been consistently at the top. But the world of F1 never seems to make it easy for Ava and she knows it. P6 would be a fine condition for any top tier driver like Ava. But this was just the beginning of her test.

"Welcome to Bahrain International Circuit where we kick off Round 4 to this already eventful championship. Let's have a look. We've got 57 laps ahead of us here under night lights. 5.41 is the track length. And the lap record set by Pedro de la Rosa in 2005. On the grid, we've got Max Verstappen starting on pole. He's won twice in a row in Bahrain. 2023 and 2024. He's looking to make it three times."

"Yup, tracks like these certainly favor the Red Bull as they've got both cars in the top ten. So Liam Lawson has a great opportunity to score some big points today."

"That great number of points we'll see as we've got five lights on... AND IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! Immediately, a quick start by Florence. She catches Russell napping on the start. Behind, Norris trying to make a move on Leclerc as they head down into turn and OH RUSSEL LOCKS UP HIS BRAKES AND THERE'S IMMEDIATELY CONTACT WITH SEBASTIAN VETTEL! LECLERC IS ALSO CAUGHT UP IN THE MIX AND IT LOOKS THEY'RE OUT OF THE RACE!"

"So that's Russel, Leclerc, and Vettel all effectively out of the race. They've all hit the barriers as Max sails on ahead. And where's Ava?"

"She's down in 17th, Martin. It appears she might have also been caught up in that accident... and yes, she has. Her front wing has been damaged. So she's going to need to pit. That is not the start she would've wanted. The championship leader, effectively dead last as the Racing Bull passes her. Up ahead, it's still Max Verstappen leading the race. Now with Norris behind him. So the both of them got cleanly away from the damage. And Norris benefits hugely from because he's up to P2 and his championship rival is down in last. Nothing could be better for Norris here."

FLORENCE I've got damage! Front wing.

HENRY Understood. Bring it into the pits as soon as you can.

FLORENCE This absolutely bloody idiot.

LAP 2:

"Here is Ava Florence coming into pits. She going to change her front wing. At least the good news for her is, instead having to overtake 21 drivers to win, she only needs 18 as Vettel, Leclerc, and Russell are out of the race."

LAP 5:

"Here comes the first of her victims. Yuki Tsunoda just having no pace here in Bahrain. Coming into Turn 3, Florence had the DRS and that was really no competition."

LAP 9:

"Verstappen comes into the pits. He's going to be coming for a set of new soft tires. Norris is now leading the Grand Prix. But I have a feeling he won't have that lead for very long."

"I think so too. Let's have a look at where Ava is. She's gotten past some of these drivers that are coming into the pits. But now here she is side-by-side with Gabriel Bortoleto. These two have given us some amazing battles before."

"Through Turn 10, Bortoleto remains ahead, but Ava has the DRS, she has the slipstream. She's going to try around the outside in Turn 11. Full throttle up into 12 and now it's Ava with the inside line. She'll get the move to stick on Bortoleto."

"Just superb racing from both drivers. Bortoleto was keen on not giving up that place, but Florence was just hounding through the entire sector to get it. And just about gets her through. Tremendous stuff between the Audi and Porsche."

LAP 13:

"From one rookie to another, Ava Florence lunges into Turn 1 on Antonelli and moves up ahead into P11. So, that's already 8 places she's covered. Florence is just on fire."

"Antonelli didn't stand much of a chance therd, did he? Just kind sat there as she took the inside line. Goes to show how powerful that DRS is on that Porsche."

"Indeed, Martin, and as now — once again — Ava going for the overtake. She dives into the inside for Turn 8, around the hairpin, brilliant overtaking and she gets past Alex Albon. That's two positions in one lap."

LAP 18:

"Ava Florence comes in her for her pit stop. So does Lando Norris. Both of these drivers on the longer end of the soft compound tires. We see it'll be the hard compounds for Norris and for Ava... that'll be the softs again. So she will be going for the medium tires on her final stint."

"Definitely an interesting choice considering Norris lasted about the same amount of time on these tires. Now we'll see whose strategy works out better. McLaren or Porsche."

LAP 20:

"We're onboard with Ava Florence chasing down Oscar Piastri as they exit Turn 4. Ava gets the speed out of the corner. She's right on Piastri's tail. Could this be another overtake for Florence? No, not yet. She backs up on the hairpin. But now, as they cross the DRS detection zone, Florence will have the DRS. Sharp turn and down the straight they go. Florence with the DRS, she's in slipstream, she pulls out and it's another overtake for Florence! She's up in P9."

"Yeah, once again, brilliant move. I think she just very good awareness of the track. She knows where the DRS zones are, so shes braking to behind Piastri so she gets the DRS and not him. Very smart overtaking by her."

LAP 24:

"So far, things have gone quite well for the Porsche after their catastrophic start. Vettel is out of the race, but Florence is up into the points. She's staring down the back of Fernando Alonso as they come down the main straight to begin Lap 24. Florence has the DRS... Just a little too far back though. Doesn't get an opportunity into Turn 1."

"She's going to be really close to him into Turns 3 and 4. Florence again has the DRS. She's closing in the gap even more. Tucks her car on the outside of the hairpin-"

"Ooo, so close they are together. Alonso and Florence, side-by-side, who is going to get the push. Alonso trying to squeeze her out, but Florence just gets ahead! She moves up into P8! Brilliant!"

"That's a very tough overtake to make. Around the outside into Turn 4, never leave the throttle once after the exit and narrowly avoid a crash. That's just beautiful racing from two talented drivers."

"That was Fernando Alonso and Ava Florence. Ironic, isn't it? We've Florence take some Fernando's iconic celebrations. I wonder if she'll do another one if she gets to the podium this race."

"Well, the chances are looking strong for her. Blinding pace. Let's see where she goes from here."

LAP 29:

"Alright, our second set of pitstops are beginning as Hamilton comes into the pits for a fresh set of hard tires. Hamilton, not really finding a good grove in those soft tires in his first stint, but did in his second. So hopefully it'll be prime time for him to gain some valuable points in Bahrain."

"Ferrari need him to perform badly, too, with Leclerc out of the race and he's going to come just behind Florence. So, let's see what she's doing."

"Well, Martin, Florence is still out on her second stint. She did drag her tires longer than everybody else and we've her extend the life of grip throughout the race before. Right now, she wants to overtake Liam Lawon in that Red Bull."

LAP 31:

"My goodness she's fast Martin. Two laps ago, the gap was 2.3 seconds. She's cut it down to just about a second. She's going got get DRS on this main straight and all of a sudden, she's right there. Liam Lawson is definitely going to see her in mirrors."

"She is super fast on these tires. Lawson has already done his second pitstop for hard tires, but Florence is still finding a stronger pace than him. It reminds a bit of Kimi Raikkonen in his hay days. How he would just find tremendous pace anywhere on the track? If that's just the beginning of Ava's development, then she's got a wonderful career ahead of her."

"Indeed so, Martin. Only 19 years old, a rookie no less, and atop the championship charts. Last time we saw this was with Lewis Hamilton, but uh, Lewis couldn't quite get the championship that year. Maybe Ava will be the first."

LAP 32:

"Back onto the main straight to start a new lap. Florence with DRS, she's in prime position for the overtake - DIVES INTO THE INSIDE... MAKES IT STICK! And it's goodbye to the Redbull and hello to the podium for Porsche!"

LAP 42:

"Everything has gone quite swimmingly for Ava here. She managed to extend that gap to Lawson quite a bit. And now she's coming into the pits..."

"Norris and Vertsappen are just a little too far off for her to catch up with these older tires. So she's gonna have a crack at it with these these fresher mediums."

LAP 47:

"Is that who I think it is, Martin? It's Ava Florence behind Lando Norris. She's cut down that gap significantly. So that pit for the medium compounds definitely helped as she's found tremendous pace here in Bahrain and with 7 laps to go, she's looking to take P2 for herself against her championship rival."

"So, her streak of podiums is going to continue, isn't it. This is going to be four podiums in a row for her compared to Lando's one. I think that's where majority of the lead came from. Just her consistency."

LAP 49:

"Down the main straight, the start of Lap 49. Florence less than a second behind Norris. Gets the DRS. Norris is going to have a hard time defending on these older tires. And Florence just cuts down that gap even more! Down into Turns 2 and 3 they go. Another DRS zone. Florence is looking to make the move stick on the hairpin as she's done before. TRIES THE INSIDE - LANDO COVERS - OUT THE OUTSIDE SHE GOES. NOT ENOUGH. Lando holds on."

...

"Third DRS zone in Bahrain. Ava once again lunges to the outside, is going to try to convert this to the inside, but Lando just has that extra inch of space to cut her off into Turn 13."

LAP 50:

"The laps are counting down for the Belgian driver. I'm sure both drivers are feeling the pressure at this point. One driver who isn't: Max Verstappen. Lead the race since pole till now. He's five seconds ahead of both drivers. He's going to very comfortable-

"Sorry to cut you off Crofty, but Florence tries to overtake down the inside of the hairpin again, but locks her brakes, goes too far ahead and doesn't make the turn in time. So, still behind Lando."

"Very interesting stuff to see here and that's going to help Lando as the gap between them as extended slightly."

LAP 53:

"This is all she has. The final lap of the Bahrain Grand Prix. Lando. Ava. Separated by three tenths of a second. Hard on the brakes into Turn 1. Into Turns 2 and 3 they go. Martin, can she do it?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Second DRS zone, Ava's pouncing on Lando. No attempt at the overtake in Turn 4, but I think she's looking for another DRS zone. Minor left hand turn and then the fast right-to-left sections in sector 2. Crossing the DRS detection zone into Turn 9, and the tricky Turn 10-"

"Lando's skirts a bit on the exit. You saw him try to readjust his steering and that's just what Ava likes to see as she's pouncing on the DRS. Side by side they go. We've seen song and dance before, Martin, AVA HAS THE INSIDE LINE IN TURN 12 BUT LANDO IS GOING NO WHERE. THEY SO CLOSE. AVA JUST AN INCH BEHIND HIM. SHE TUCKS IN HIS SLIPSTREAM FOR THE FINAL STRAIGHT - TURN 14 - AVA LUNGES TO THE INSIDE. ENOUGH SPACE FOR HER TO TRY. SIDE BY SIDE THEY ARE DOWN ON THE FINAL STRAIGHT. THE CHECKERED FLAG AS FALLEN. VERSTAPPEN AS ALREADY CROSSED. BUT IT'S ABOUT AVA AND LANDO AND NO! IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR THE PORSCHE! SHE CROSSES THE LINE JUST A HUNDRETH OF A SECOND BEHIND LANDO."

"What a nail-biter? Down until the checkered flag she stayed on the side of Lando. You really didn't know if she was going to get ahead until the flag fell. Tremendous."

"I'm sure for Lando, but Ava will not be too happy about that. Podium still, but not the exact position she wanted."

FLORENCE F***. I'm sorry.

HENRY That's still P3, Ava. Tremendous work.

porschef1

Good drivers drive. The best survive the carnage.

see all comments

delulu: Alright admin, we see you 😭

moistbananas: Someone could tell me the admin as a crush on Ava and I'd believe them.

> gp2engine: lmao it's clear as day they're in love 🥰

meep: Does the admin reply?

> porschef1: only for Ava

> delulu: 😭😭

florence4ever: That should've been P2 but we'll take it it.

> chuckleclerc: Could've been so much more if George "He turned into me" Russell didn't fumble Turn 1.

BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX RESULTS

1. MAX VERSTAPPEN (+25) 2. LANDO NORRIS (+18) 3. AVA FLORENCE (+15) 4. LIAM LAWSON (+12) 5. LEWIS HAMILTON (+10) 6. OSCAR PIASTRI (+8) 7. CARLOS SAINZ (+6) 8. FERNANDO ALONSO (+4) 9. ALEXANDER ALBON (+2) 10. ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI (+1)

11. PIERRE GASLY 12. ESTEBAN OCON 13. NICO HULKENBERG 14. LANCE STROLL 15. JACK DOOHAN 16. OLLIE BEARMAN 17. GABRIEL BORTOLETO 18. YUKI TSUNODA 19. ISACK HADJAR

20. CHARLES LECELRC (DNF) 21. SEBASTIAN VETTEL (DNF) 22. GEORGE RUSSELL (DNF)

BAHRAIN POST RACE INTERVIEW

Interviewer: Max, third year running you've been the winner at Bahrain, but this is your first win and podium of the season. Can you tell us about that?

Max: Yeah, I mean, the first couple of races, I didn't the car that much pace to even qualify for the podium. Obviously a bit frustrating for the team, but then we were able to do something good today and I'm sure it'll be a massive boost for everyone.

Interviewer: Lando, congrats on your second place finish, but you were very close to loosing it. What happened there?

Lando: Don't really know too much to be honest. I thought I had a comfortable lead until I started seeing Ava in my mirrors. So, it was just a tough battle. She was very quick out there, but we managed to hold out until the end.

Interviewer: Ava, you had a rollercoaster of a race, first with the accident at the beginning of the race and then to almost taking P2 on the final corner. Can you tell us more?

Ava: You know I'm really glad you're here because at least I can look at something pretty while I'm sulking. Yeah, it was a tough race. Seb was taken about my this walking torpedo and then I had damage so I was basically last on the grid. We made some changes to our strategy to big thanks to the team for that. And then yeah just frustrating at the end. So close to a P2 finish but Lando just held it out. I should be happy with the results, but I'm not. But whatever. We'll see what we can do next round.

f1_leaks:

Footage from the cooldown room in Bahrain. Max and Ava discussing George Russell's incident:

Max: Dat incident met George was echt bizar. [That incident with George was crazy.]

Ava: Ik weet het. Hij kwam als een raket aan. [I know. He came crashing like a missile.]

Max: Heeft u schade? [Did you have damage?]

Ava: Ja. Hij spinde en chipte mijn voorvleugel. Ik verloor al mijn positie in bocht 1. Gekke gek. [Yes. He spun and chipped my front wing. I lost all my position on Turn 1. Crazy madman.]

see comments below

disguised_cope: Nothing see to here. Just two half-Belgian drivers dissing on Russell.

> delulu: Ava 🤝 Max: Hating on Russell

burntmellows: George has fumbling other people's races so many times it's not funny.

George Russel to receive a 5 page grid penalty in next race's qualifying for causing a collision in Turn 1 of Bahrain.

see comments below

bottas: KARMA!

florence4ever: KARMA!

delulu: KARMA!

vettel_forever: KARMA!

chuckleclerc: KARMA!

toasted_waffles: KARMA!

avaflorence

Bahrain: Hi. That's the best introduction I have.

see comments below

florence4ever: No MAMA you already have the black and white aesthetic, don't fall into depression now!

> delulu: it's happening. She's turning into a Ferrari driver. 😭

> kachow: Ava to Ferrari confirmed?

lando: That was scary for a few laps.

> avaflorence: I'm coming for you in Jeddah 🔪 🔪

fernando_alonso_official: You did well chica 👍

> elplan: Help why is typing like a grandpa 💀

> avaflorence: Thank you, El Padre. Does this mean you'll let me win in Spain?

> fernando_alonso_official: No.

WORLD DRIVERS CHAMPIONSHIP

WORLD CONSTRUCTORS CHAMPIONSHIP

A/N: Semester about to start soon. It might slow me down, but I'll try best to get as frequent updates for you guys as possible. 👊

By the way, I also have a book out on Amazon. It's called The Human Art of Film on Amazon.

taglist: @freyathehuntress @allthings-fandoms

#f1 smau #ferrari #formula 1 #fanfic #formula one #f1 #f1 female driver #f1 2025 #f1 imagine #porsche #sebastian vettel smau #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #lando norris

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rindragon-from-twewy · 4 months ago

Text

Swap au character intros part 4!!!

Spoilers for specifically Raincode Chapter 0 ahead!

Let's start with Zilch! In this au his forte becomes Audial Aptitude - thanks in part to his animal ears. If you've seen my art of Zilch before, you'll probably have noticed I like drawing him with his animal ears as his actual ears and not on top of his hat. It's cuz I generally just hate the ambiguity of it. Are the animal ears real? Are they just on his hat? Why do they move? Why does he have 4 ears? So I just like making his animal ears his only set of ears. That being said, apparently they're fox ears??? I always assumed wolf??? But I digress- His uniform has been changed up to be reminiscent of an orchestra conductor cuz hahah audio. His face tattoos are meant to be those spotify code scanners - the right cheek leading to It's All So Incredibly Loud by Glass Animals and We Own The Night by Chandler Kinney on the left (cuz I think it's funny!) As for his last name change, "Allegro" in musical terms means "to be played very quickly" which I thought would suit him quite well as someone who can solve cases really fast. His personality is basically the same, the only alteration being that he carries around a notepad and pen in order to help keep track of all the hundreds of things he's constantly hearing all the time.

Next is Pucci. She's received Spectal Projection from Melami and if you thought being good at hearing made her existential then BOY HOWDY does being able to use her body as a vessel for spirits fuck her up even more! Originally I was going for a classic "fortune teller" look for her but I instead went with a cute seamstress-y sort of look instead cuz I couldn't really get what I had in mind initially to look good. She wears a tape measure like a scarf and a thimble as a necklace charm. Her eyes, while cute, have a sort of dead look in them that make others wonder if she's even alive at all. Her last name has been changed from Lavmin to Lavender because in flower language, they're representive of purity, serenity, grace and calmness - all traits she seems to exhibit until she actually starts talking and you realise she's just sort of awkward and shy. She finds it easier to talk to ghosts/spirits then living creatures and honestly probably gets along reeeaaally well with this AU's version of Vivia.

Now, you may be looking at Aphex and going "Rindude! You changed fuck all about him!" And yeah, you're right... The only major changes I made was switching out his coat, boots and like doubling his muscle mass. He's strong. He could beat you up, no questions asked and it definitely shows! His forte is now Thoughtography but he's just as angry as ever - originating from the "front lines" that canon Zange mentioned in his own backstory. For that reason, his coat is inspired by WW2 trenchcoats and while my art doesn't show it very well, everything he's wearing looks and smells like he's crawled straight out of a dumpster. Originally I was going to change his last name to Harkness as an homage to Captain Jack Harkness, a WW2 soldier inspired character from (surprise, surprise) Doctor Who but considering the fact I did that exact same thing with an oc of mine for my A levels earlier this year... I instead went with Tyler; an homage to another Doctor Who character called Rose Tyler who is also a badass blonde <3

And that's all the details I'm sharing for now! It's a little strange considering I've written the Storm Cypher fanfic about half way through its chapter 0 already so I have a lot more to say about the train gang then I did anyone else - since they've already had stuff actually written for them. Melami and Zange's swap au designs will drop like... as soon as I figure out how to draw elderly people. So soon, hopefully! But yeah, I'm cooking super good atm I just can't really share much due to the nature of writing lol. I've been loving getting asks about it though! Deadass, it makes me kick my legs and giggle to know people are crazy enough to care about this AU- >w<

#master detective archives: rain code #raincode #swap au #fanart #zilch alexander #pucci lavmin #aphex logan #master detective archives: storm cypher

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ohgeeeznotagain · 20 days ago

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Fear Not the Fire

Greetings, fellow humans! Insert "finally remembered our password" jokes here 🤓. In the mad dash to finish our album last year and start promoting it, we sort of completely forgot to do anything with this platform. I don't know how many of you keep tabs on Oh Geeez, Not Again music on Tumblr, but if that's you - we're glad you're here and we hope you're doing ok. 🙂 Wanted to catch you up to speed on the big events of our expedition since last June.

1. Our album MAPMAKER is out now! 🗺️

Telling the story of leaving the comforts of home for the limitless dangers and possibilities of the forest. MAPMAKER is a coming of age story that at some point all of us must face.

Along the way, you’ll find joy, defeat, fear, acceptance, and maybe even defy the odds and get the happy ending you’ve always dreamed of. But the only way to find out is to start. To leave behind the familiar and face the unknown.

Pack your boots and jacket, and put a song in your heart. Your expedition departs now 🌲

Listen to MAPMAKER on all platforms here:

2. We played our first headlining show!!

To celebrate the release of MAPMAKER, we were honored to take the stage at Anodyne Coffee for our first-ever headlining show! It was an amazing night, and we were grateful to share the moment with so many of our friends!

We captured the moment in our latest music video. Catch the video for "Mapmaker" - the album's title track - right here:

youtube

3. Our year-end Livestream from Park Street

To close out 2024, we had the opportunity to go live on YouTube from Port Washington's Park Street studios. It was an honor to spend the afternoon with the fine folks at Park Street and virtually send out the year of MAPMAKER with friends from around the world!

Tune in to the full stream here:

youtube

4. WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!! 🚐

We're so excited to announce that we'll be taking the Oh Geeez, Not Again expedition to more folks than ever before this year! Our first mini BLAZE A TRAIL tour kicks off on April 1, and we hope that we'll get to see YOU there! While this is a small start, we hope that it will lead to bigger things down the road. It is our goal to bring our expedition to the whole world some day!

Tickets and current information are listed here on our all-new website. Info will be updated as final ticket links become available! Hope to see you on the road:

Finally, as 2025 looks to be a year of upheaval around the world, we hope that our music can be a space of inspiration for you wherever you are on your journey. We're so fortunate to have such a diverse and creative group of friends and followers who we've met through our music, and the whole message of MAPMAKER is finding a way to hold onto your dreams and passions in a world that wants to strike them down. Whatever it is that you're getting up for every day, I hope that it sustains you through the times of doubt and fear. And whenever the monsters should find you, we hope you hear the words of "Conifer":

Fear not the fire, the glowing eyes They deal delusion, they seek divides But should they trap you, the trees will give you rest

I hope that our music can be one of those sheltering trees for you. We make these songs for all of you, and if they inspire you to keep creating, believing, or simply existing, then that's the greatest honor to us.

Safe travels, - Sean 🧡

#indie band #indie music #compilation #2025 #new year #new music #stay safe #concept album #tour announcement #tour dates #safe space #fantasy #adventure #expedition #Youtube

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hotteoki · 1 year ago

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pirate king (j.y.h)

pairing: pirate jeong yunho x fem reader

genre: strangers to lovers, alternate dimension, pirate au

wc: 4k

cw: mild language, weaponry

notes: i wrote this with the layout of the ateez ship in mind (the one in the 'illusion' mv but with blond yunho cause he 4+4 the halloween ver of deja vu

xtra - tysm @woosluv & @ssaboala for beta reading for me! <33

"all eyes on me now! if you still doubt mine, it's too pointless. we're still young and wild, we gonna find new world to be mine!" yunho's fingers moved along the quote carved into the compass he's had since who knows how long.

yunho's head was lifted up forcefully by hongjoong's pointing stick poking his forehead. "you're going to get lost later on the island if you don't listen to me right now," hongjoong tilted his head, stepping back to the blackboard. "captain, i mean this in the nicest way possible, we've been over this, like, six times in the span of a week. we'll be fine," yeosang called from across the room as he tapped his telescope against his other palm, still dodging wooyoung's outstretched arms every now and then.

"you all say this but i know one of you is going to get into some shit and i'm going to have to be the one to clean it up," hongjoong sighed, dropping his pointer onto the ground lazily, "okay, come on, let's get off the ship. remember the plan, and wooyoung, stop trying to kiss yeosang's face. you can do that when we come back."

yunho kicked the ladder down onto the dock, stepping off the ship first. the crew split up, him going into the left path trailing into the cave. they all knew exactly what they were looking for, and the lengths each and every one of them were willing to take to get it.

it was peaceful until a rustle attracted his attention. yunho paused, pretending to re-lace his shoes, his eyes darting to his left, the direction where the sound had come from. when it was calm for the following minute, yunho slowly stood to continue his journey, putting on an oblivious façade, his hand subtly inching for his sheathed cutlass with every step.

yunho wasn't stupid. he's had enough experience to know not to doubt his senses at any cost. true to him, the snapping of a branch immediately heightened his senses. he swiftly cut through the thick, tall grass, eyes meeting with ones belonging to an innocent doe.

as the doe ran off, yunho only noted then how it was running along the path he was on. the cogs in his head whirred in confusion as he wondered why a deer wouldn't run away from a potential predator, rather in the same direction as him. that thought never escaped as he trudged on, praying the cave he was walking towards would appear before him faster.

and lo and behold, there it was.

if yunho hadn't been looking for it specifically he would've missed it entirely. it blended in perfectly with the shadows of the swaying trees, outgrown weeds guarding the entrance, vines crawling around, all leading straight into the depths of the cave.

peeking into the darkness, he checked every corner, sharp eyes darting here and there. finally, they landed on an unusual glimmering spot. yunho stepped closer, cautious of the fact he was now exposed to any potential predators hiding deep in the cave.

he was about a meter away from the shining rock when he realised it wasn’t a rock at all. it was an hourglass etched into the cave walls, almost like the cave was built around it over the years. he breathed out a light sigh of relief upon feeling the grooves of the rock nearby. it wasn’t etched in that deep. he could easily pull it out with a bit of help.

he allowed himself a few more minutes of admiring the hourglass. the cromer, its name was. an hourglass with the ability to lead them to an alternate dimension, where they could escape this timeline that caused each and every one of them so much pain and loss.

after stealing books from other pirates, following leads from old legends, tracking down their ancestors' footsteps, seonghwa had finally found a map hidden deep in the journals of an unknown pirate, their initials and writings long faded within the centuries. the joy the crew had felt when they located the hourglass after years was a night yunho could not forget.

just as he was about to turn back and find his crewmates, yunho was greeted with the sight of the very doe blocking his exit. when it was made clear that the doe had no intentions of moving at all, yunho unsheathed his cutlass. this was no ordinary animal.

his theory was proved right when a gust of wind blew against his face. removing his hand from his face and opening his eyes, he tried to conceal his shock. where the doe had stood before was a girl about his age.

“you’re a shapeshifter.” you raised your eyebrows at his statement, “obviously.” “i thought they didn’t exist anymore after hunters hunted them down ages ago,” yunho still had his cutlass held in front of him, wary of this new stranger. “yeah, i know. that was centuries ago. there’re still a few of us left, but most of us don’t want to be found.” “you’re not one of them, though,” yunho pointed out.

“and with good reason,” you stepped closer as yunho stepped back. sighing, you held up your hands in surrender, “do i look like i’m going to attack you or something?” “you can never be too careful,” he shrugged.

“i’ll tell you an easier way of getting that hourglass without taking this cave down.” yunho’s arm faltered, “what do you mean?” “this entire island relies on the life within the roots, the air, the animals, you know, all that shit. you break this cave the entire island goes down with it. you and your crew would never make it out alive.”

he swallowed. he wasn’t sure if you could be trusted. shapeshifters were known to be tricksters, always up to no good. what if you were playing with him and he could’ve saved precious time taking the hourglass instead of talking to you? after meeting your impatient eyes, he finally decided to play it safe.

“what do you want in return?” “get me off this island,” you replied instantly. the lack of hesitation in your voice made yunho believe you’ve had thought about this for a long, long time. he sucked in a breath through his gritted teeth. the crew couldn’t just find an extra person for charity. they were already rationing their supplies amongst themselves, adding another person might as well be a goodbye to their albeit uncomfortable but familiar living.

“take me with you or no hourglass. your choice,” you crossed your arms, tone firm. yunho swallowed again, putting his cutlass away and rubbing a hand on his face, “you’ll have to talk to the captain.” “fine, then take me to him.” “you can’t just-” yunho wanted to scream. despite being a pirate since birth, he’d never experienced a situation like this, and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

“you know what? fine, let’s go find him,” yunho pursed his lips. he knew for a fact hongjoong would never agree, but how else were they supposed to get the hourglass? it wasn’t like they could just bow their heads and march back onto the ship and off.

reminding himself of the crudely drawn map in their meeting room, yunho walked for what felt like hours with the intensity of your glare burning the back of his head. he thought he could drop onto his knees and thank the heavens the second he saw the familiar back of hongjoong.

hongjoong darted up at the sound of foreign footsteps, swinging his pistol at your face out of instinct. “she wants to speak to you,” yunho deadpanned, annoyed at the situation he was currently in. hongjoong lowered his pistol slightly, aiming at your chest now, “what do you want?” “i’ll talk when you get this pistol out of my face,” you frowned.

“i’m the one with the upper hand here, you really shouldn’t be making demands.” “considering i’m one of the remaining residents of this island who knows what you’re looking for and how to get it without dying, i don’t think you are.” hongjoong made a face, “and how do i know you’re telling the truth?” “you pirates. always so nervous about everything you see,” you paused, “i want to get off this island, you can help with that, and in return i’ll give you the hourglass.”

yunho looked for a reaction from hongjoong. when he was met with none, yunho was almost disappointed over the fact that his captain was considering his answer. “okay then,” hongjoong put his pistol away, “lead the way.” yunho felt his cheeks flushing at your cheeky smile. sure, he disliked you and your cocky attitude, but he wasn’t blind. anyone could tell you were gorgeous.

“i told you guys one of you was going to get into some shit. now look who’s cleaning it up?”

≡☆

it took a while for the entire crew to be gathered in the tiny cave the cromer rested in, all squished together to get a look at the hourglass while poor mingi stood on his tiptoes at the mouth of the cave. yunho watched in awe as you lifted your hands up, determined to keep his eyes open, only to be slapped with another aggressive gust of wind blowing in his face again.

he blinked cautiously, not realising his eyes had shut involuntarily. yunho vaguely felt his breath hitching at the infamous hourglass held in your hands. the gentle glow of each individual grain amongst the heaps of sand shimmered, tugging on his attention, while contrasting with the simple and plain metal supporting the phials.

“so?” you shifted your weight, waiting for something to happen.

and something happened indeed.

one look from hongjoong was all the crew needed as san shoved you to the ground, with seonghwa snatching the cromer from your grip and tossing it to jongho, the rest sprinting back to their ship. yunho followed his crewmates swiftly, but not before throwing his head back and yelling a quick “sorry!”

in his defense, he was sorry. just not sorry enough to feel guilty about it.

he nearly crashed straight into wooyoung’s back as he skidded to a sudden halt, confused as to why they stopped. sitting on the edge of the ship, legs swinging with an unamused expression, was you. but how…

“you really think you can outrun a doe? how self-centered.” hongjoong stared right back at you, irritated, “you can’t come with us.” “then i’ll take that back.” “i’d like to see you try,” he retorted, pistol now in hand again, “you can outrun me but can you outrun a bullet aiming straight for your head?” you huffed, “i’m not asking you to adopt me or anything, i just need you to drop me off at the nearest island.”

“bullshit. you’re saying you want to go from one island to another?” jongho scoffed from beside wooyoung. “i can’t leave this place without company. please just-” you sighed, and yunho could tell you felt defeated, “please just take me with you.” if he didn’t feel guilty enough, he definitely felt bad now. “cap, maybe we should take her.”

hongjoong gave him an odd look, clearly bewildered, “you were the one who insisted on leaving her.” “yeah well, i kinda feel bad for her now. she’ll stay with us for a few days maximum then we’ll just drop her off somewhere,” yunho briefly glanced at you, lowering his voice now, “i mean, maybe she really can’t leave. what, are we just going to dump her here?”

“i say we make her a deal,” yeosang chimed in, “she can live with us until we locate a nearby island, but if we arrive and it ends up being a bad one, she can’t argue and climb back aboard.” hongjoong nodded approvingly, “yeah, that sounds good.”

yunho watched as your face lit up when he repeated their deal to you. he silently swore to himself to always bring happiness to you during your stay if it meant he could catch a glimpse of your endearing smile again.

≡☆

yunho had volunteered to wrap up the cut on your arm you earned from san’s shove, despite seonghwa usually being the one to tend to the crew’s injuries. he led you down the stairs and to the medical room (which, really, was just their meeting room with a medical kit placed on the table), kicking away scraps of used bandages to the corner, praying you didn’t see them.

as he sat you down opposite him and began prepping the bandages, he began to wonder about you. where were your parents? how did you manage to come onto the island? why did you not have friends? what-

“you look like you have questions.” his gaze snapped up from your arm to your eyes, “no i- well, yeah, kind of.” you laughed lightly, “it’s okay, i get it. i’d be confused too.” yunho hoped you took the redness tainting his cheeks as embarrassment from being caught rather than his giddiness from your laugh. he motioned for you as he got started on wrapping your arm.

“i used to live on a different island, where my parents were. i met this guy, chan, and after being friends with him for a year or so, he offered to take me on a trip with his seven friends. i agreed. i honestly don’t know why i did. it was a spur of the moment thing. i followed him to the docks, where his ship was. turns out he’s a pirate and he’s the captain, much like your crew, actually.

“they said they wanted to go find some ‘treasures’, i just assumed they were joking around. they said they wanted to find an hourglass, i think one of the crew, hyunbin or whatever, said it belonged to his father. i remembered having heard some legends about it, and offered to lead the way. we searched for months, and finally found it on this island.

“when we arrived, they began arguing over who got to have it; they all had a different timeline in mind. someone wanted to go find their dead parents, someone wanted to rescue their girlfriend, it was- it was a lot,” you closed your eyes, throwing your head back, “we weren’t even from this timeline, for fuck’s sake! they fucked with the cromer as soon as they got their grubby hands on it, knowing damn well it was a full moon! i don’t even know what happened, to be honest, either that, or i can’t remember. it doesn’t matter. i don’t want to anyway.

“i think it’s something to do with the stupid hourglass. my theory is it passes down ownership to whomever it deems worthy to hold it, eliminating the past owners. that’s how i ended up alone. i tell myself they each left one by one, but it still bothers me how cursed magic like that exists. i don’t know, the whole thing’s really messed up. i guess being the holder gives you power to hide or expose it to others, because, well, as you saw, i could play around with its surroundings.” yunho hummed, taking in all the information.

he tightened the knot on your bandage, breathing out through his nose and rocking on his chair, “well, now that i know a lot about you, ask me anything you want.” “anything?” you lifted your head up again, eyes wide. yunho smiled, “yeah.” you leaned forward, head resting against your palms, “how are you so cute?”

yunho began spluttering, rocking a bit too far back on his chair, nearly falling over until you grabbed his hand, laughing at his reaction. as soon as he steadied himself, he yanked his hand away, feeling like his entire skin was on fire. you had a proud grin on your face, “i’m playing with you. though, really, you are cute.” he was genuinely convinced right then and there that you were the human form of heaven itself with the way his heart was palpitating.

the only dilemma yunho was having with himself was the fact that you couldn’t stay with them.

he liked to think that you shared the same thought as him.

≡☆

somehow, hours later, yunho found himself next to you on the beach, admiring the sunset from afar. “i haven’t had company in ages,” you commented, “it’s nice. especially since it’s you.” yunho had really wanted to kick his feet and giggle over your bold words, but he opted for a light chuckle.

“do you ever miss your old timeline? or dimension, or however you say it,” he regretted his words instantly at the sad look on your face. “all the time. i had a boyfriend, you know? he tried to stop me from going. i ignored him out of spite because of the amount of arguments we got into before i left. they were mostly to do with chan, he never trusted him, and neither should i have.”

yunho ignored the new, strange sense of jealousy he was feeling, and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, “you wouldn’t have known.” you only gave a weak smile in response. “so tell me about your boyfriend.” you stiffened up slightly before relaxing again. if yunho wasn’t staring at you, he would’ve missed it entirely.

“well, he was the sweetest guy i’ve ever met. people compared him to a puppy all the time because of his energy,” you hesitated, “he had dyed blond-ish hair, a cute smile, a great sense of humour. he was tall, and was really popular. he always knew just how to cheer me up when i was down. he was considerate, caring, kind, he was everything.” yunho felt himself slowly getting upset. how could he ever compare to him? he sounded perfect.

“jealous?” you teased, nudging him. “not at all,” yunho rolled his eyes, playing with his compass again. he watched your eyes lower onto the very object, a soft look in them. “of course you still have it,” you murmured. “what?” yunho furrowed his brows. had he heard correctly? “it’s nothing.”

≡☆

nighttime rolled around and eventually all of them gathered around; yunho had found himself subconsciously scooting closer to you, landing himself a knowing look from mingi.

while your eyes connected with the flames yeosang started minutes ago, yunho couldn’t help but admire every inch of your carefully sculpted face. it was funny, wasn’t it? how he, at first, hated your overconfident demeanour, your demanding character, your addictive voice, your adorable laugh… huh. maybe he’d never hated you.

“so are you guys going to hide it now that you have to wait to use it?” you tilted your head curiously, and yunho wanted to choke a fistful of sand down his throat to contain the squeals that were threatening to bubble up with how absolutely beautiful you were. he shrugged, “most likely.” “the full moon’s in three days. where would you hiding it for three days?” “up san’s ass,” wooyoung laughed, before getting smacked by san.

yunho couldn’t bring himself to laugh at wooyoung’s immature joke. not when he now knew that he never had a chance with you to begin with.

but hearing your contagious laughter made him think of how lucky he was to have met you at all.

≡☆

“i know you, yunho, and i know you like her-” “like is an exaggeration.” seonghwa rolled his eyes, “just listen to me. she’s not going to be staying with us for long, and if you keep giving yourself a chance to get to know her, you’ll end up getting heartbroken.” “but isn’t that the point? maybe, when we use the cromer and get to a different dimension, maybe we can be together there…” he trailed off at how ridiculous he sounded. “that’s not how it works, and you know it,” seonghwa’s tone was now stern, almost to the point of telling yunho off.

“she clearly likes me too, can’t we at least enjoy the little amount of time we have together?” mingi tossed an arm around yunho from behind, “i say go for it.” “of course you’d say that,” seonghwa tsked, before continuing, “i’m asking you, as part of your crew, and your friend, to think this through.” “i am thinking this through!” yunho insisted, “i’d rather go through a heavy heartbreak than leave her with a bunch of ‘what if’s. i really do like her, seong-”

“no, you’re thinking this with your plan of finding her in a different timeline. yunho, you can’t do that. do you know how risky that is? ignoring the fact how we’ve only known her for a day too!” “of course i know,” he hissed, “but i don’t care how risky it is. i’m doing it.” “love at first sight, some might say,” mingi patted yunho’s shoulder. “oh, don’t get him started on love now,” seonghwa groaned. “love is a stretch, but i definitely find her interesting enough to want to be with her.” “just say you like her, yunho. everyone and their mothers can hear your giggles at night in your room,” hongjoong teased.

yunho’s face flushed, “i don’t giggle!” with that, he left the tiny crowd and stormed off to the meeting room. to his surprise, you were sitting at his regular seat, examining his compass. he left it there?

“so you want to be with me?” you raised an eyebrow, running a thumb over the quote the same way yunho does. “what- no?” yunho scoffed, taking a seat beside you. “i heard you guys. you get loud when you’re defensive. it’s okay, it’s cute.” yunho was at a loss for words. grasping for straws to change the topic, he gestured to the compass, “why did you say something like ‘i still have it’?”

you grew silent, and yunho thought you hadn’t heard him. he was about to repeat his question when you opened your mouth to answer, “i knew you, jeong yunho.” he flinched at the full name coming out of your mouth, “how…” “in my timeline. i knew you.”

you had the same stiff posture as you did on the beach, and yunho recalled what you were talking about during that time, “your boyfriend…” “yeah.” suddenly it all made sense. the dyed blond hair, the puppy personality, tall… yunho had heard every single one of them.

“we were together?” his voice was barely above a whisper. you nodded sadly, a bittersweet smile plastered, “i never got to say sorry for not believing you.” “well, at least i got an apology now,” he wrapped his hand around yours, the compass in between your interlocked fingers, and the cromer, your chance of a new happily ever after, placed on the table just centimetres away.

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