#keslier

[cosmerelists]

Tumblr Call-Out Posts of Cosmere Characters

If people were able to write call-out posts of Cosmere characters as if they were real people, those call-out posts might look like this.

1. Hoid

@libralita already wrote this one: https://www.tumblr.com/libralita/734739225821446144/some-planet-culturally-appropriated-the-marewill?source=share.

2. Siri

Just so you know siri does EXTREME fast fashion: we're talking--never wears the same outfit more than once and BURNS every outfit after she wears it and also every day she burns a couple other outfits she never even wore just for good measure. also she deliberately kept asking for fancier and fancier outfits so like even more material just needlessly burned up into pollution smoke

3. Adolin

Adolin's girlfriend is four years younger than him. Not so bad, right? WRONG. These are ROSHARAN years, which are longer than ours, it's actually way more than 4 years--probably 6. Or 8. Maybe even 10.

He's basically dating a girl a decade younger than him hello

4. MeLaan

Don't you think it's creepy that MeLaan--from a species that eats human remains--dates a human? How is that not a predatory relationship?

5. Riina

Riina built a giant spaceship shaped like a p*nis, sexually harassing a whole planet. :(

6. Lift

Just saying. Calling anyone "Tightbutt" is sexual harassment.

7. Dalinar

Brought people into his visions without getting their consent. Probably the worst thing Dalinar ever did. :(

8. Galladon

You might think that being quarantined in a horrible plague-city due to having "walking corpse" disease would make a man understand that diseases are dangerous and that maybe world hopping to a new planet without doing proper containment procedures and spreading a viral infection to an entire region is bad maybe

But you would be wrong in the case of Galladon who DID THAT

9. Kelsier

anyone who still supports kelsier after kelsier made his employee eat his bones needs to take a long, hard look in a mirror because it is NOT okay to feed ANY part of your skeleton to someone who works for you

10. Szeth

Keeping a sword sheathed all the time is exactly the same as keeping an animal in a cage--a sword can NOT get proper enrichment inside a sheath. Would you like to be kept continuously in a dark and suffocating place where you can't move or breathe? No? Then why would you be okay with keeping a sentient sword locked in a sheath all the time?

Szeth's cruel treatment of Nightblood makes me SICK

[carpexdiemm05]

Whispered Vows (Mistborn x Reader) Masterlist

Also read on Wattpad!

ONGOING

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

[unofficial-crow]

clenching my fists shaking screaming running around jumping up and down (i just bought mistborn: secret history)

[crow-rai]

i'm only on chapter 5 of the first one,, so i don't actually know anything yet. BUT Kelsier is so cool RAAAAA. i love him sm<3

[tiredguyswag]

Ok wait diya tell me everything youve learned about keslier from my posts

bastard blonde guy. probably really reckless. has the ability to be sweet sometimes. somehow you relate him to the "you wanna know how i got these scars? sharp hamburger" post which makes me think that he is pretty reckless. how correct am i

[havenfable]

The Kaladin/Marsh parallels are so true and so good. I didn’t even think about his eye socket and now i’m sad. Overall, looking at Roshar throught the lense of Scandrial is just so interesting (like Lord Ruler-Dalinar parallels anyone????) but that’s a digression.

My favorite thing about how Marsh would be one of Hoid’s blorbo’s is the canonical Keslier/Hoid gnawing at each other’s leg bones hatred. Like poor Marsh already has to play peacekeeper between most powerful Shard in the universe and the man whose trying to play kill god blackout bingo. The story of his life is being forced to be the reasonable one.

also @havenfable I totally agree that Hoid would probably like Marsh!

I've always felt like he'd have a similar dynamic with Marsh that he does with people like Kaladin and Renarin where he WOULD 100% poke fun at him, but not in a way meant to be hurtful. Honestly, Marsh getting his own Hoid therapy sesh is high on my Cosmere wishlist, like there's a guy who could stand to hear "the dog and the dragon," you know? 😭 I have Many Thoughts on how Marsh may not have been able to heal his fucked-up eye socket for basically the same reason Kaladin couldn't heal his Shash brand. The injury itself comes from a specific traumatic experience, but he may have internalized it as something he deserved, because to him it's a signifier of what he sees as a shameful failure on his part: not being able to stop Ruin from forcing him to hurt and kill people in general, and his friends specifically. And he still feels guilty for that failure, no matter how irrational it is. Kaladin's real scar isn't the slave brands, it's being labeled as "dangerous" and taking it to heart; Marsh's isn't from getting hit by his friend, it's that his friend told him he didn't have a soul anymore, and Marsh is afraid he was right.

(Sometimes Kaladin does feel like Branderson's apology to Marsh stans, like, "ok fine the clinically depressed, self-righteous older brother is actually kind of the main protagonist in this one, happy now?" And of course we aren't happy, we've never been happy people, but we're in a better place now than we were in the past okay I will see myself out)

[incorrectcosmerequotess]

Kelsier: There's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Kelsier way.

Marsh: Isn't that just the wrong way?

Kelsier: Yes, but faster.

[medievalthymes]

poppy war would make a super cool video game!

right? especially if it was a decision based game like mass effect or dragon age or the witcher, where what you do has consequences. Rin makes a lot of questionable choices as the MC and justifies it as means of war. if you had to consciously choose those actions, much like rin did, to lean more into the phoenixes powers to win the war vs not use the phoenix but at the cost of lives… idk i just think it would work really well.

i also think another really good video game adaption would the mistborn series with how that magic system works, it would be perfect for an rpg

[rosharan-crab]

ok so uh what the fuck

[rashenditrash]

Don't forget her disapproving elder sister Marsha.

Mistborn AU where Vin goes to a new high school only to be taken under the wing of blonde 'mean girl' Kelsey R.

[bloody-bunny-book]

awwww bless him

[seventeengoingunder-archive]

What's your thoughts on kaladin and kelsier, I really want them to meet it would be so chaotic, apparently Sanderson said that kelsier would like him but kal wouldn't like kelsier and I mean he's right but ahdbfjfb

OH THEY'D BE HILARIOUS. i mean the biggest flaw of stormlight is how bad sanderson writes class struggle ("everyone who hates the kholins bad! everyone who likes the kholins good <3"), so i'm sure that keslier would be shown to be irrational/uneccesarily violent to some extent but like. is dalinar a war criminal? yes. was jasnah out there suggesting they should get rid of all parshmen? yes. would kelsier draw a parallel between this and the skaa situation on scadrial and want the kholins gone? yes. would kaladin try to fight him? also yes.

but kelsier would still treat kaladin like he treats vin. straight into adopting the traumatized teenager mode. and kaladin would resent him! but so did vin. and kelsier would end up coming around and being civil, like he almost did with elend before he pulled his little religion-creating pr stunt. what would be really interesting is marsh and kaladin. they would just sit and brood and hate kelsier together it'd be funny.

[cosmermaid]

Thaidakar

Okay so Keslier as a PoV character is a wild ride, especially with the fandom’s take on him and Sanderson’s own opinion of the character. Real talk, I never really picked up on any vibes of Kelsier being a bad person in any way, not even with the ego and self-confidence thing. I know Brandon himself has described Keslier as “disturbing” and comparing him to Denth from Warbreaker even but like, counterpoint, we have a book and a novella where he’s a PoV character and we get to see inside his head. His motives seem genuine, he does not seem okay with the injustices around him, and he shows genuine love for his friends and even empathy. I get it, Kelsier is an extreme person, but he also lives in an extreme world (at the time anyway). He and most of his friends would have been legally killed for simply existing, and I’m not sure what the reasonable response people would expect of him to be, especially against an oppressive immortal god-emperor that actively prevents the world from changing in any way. So I *need* another Secret History novella for this Kelsier=Thaidakar reveal, because Mraize is doing some legitimately evil shit on Roshar that I can’t imagine the Kelsier I know from Mistborn being cool with. Sure, I can picture him sending assassins after Jasnah, but I CAN’T picture him sending anyone after Lift and selling her out to the Fuzed. Either Kelsier doesn’t know what’s up or there’s been some backwards character development in the last three hundred years of cosmere’s history. Or maybe it’s something really fucking juicy I’m not smart enough to figure out. ...Also Iyatil is a dead-ringer for Vin and I wonder if that’s why Kelsier recruited her. If so then I need to go lay down and cry. A lot.

[rogue-vigilante]

Finished Rhythm of War............ (HEAVY HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

#FUCK MOASH. 

SCREW WHATEVER ELSE IS HAPPENING, I WANT HIM TO BURN IN DAMNATION

Teft, you will be remembered fondly. Life before Death

Also I knew it! WHY CAN’T KESLIER JUST STAY DEAD? (Although now I want to see a Keslier vs Taravangian showdown for control of the Cosmere)

[gaydelgard]

people i hate:

branderson

keslier

sazed*

spook*

brandon sanderson

*actually i cant rlly hate them cause their shit was racist and WACK and in sazeds case wildly transphobic so this is really just brandon sanderson listed again cause i hate him and these two are mainly victims of his bullshit

[dreamsbeyondsleep]

Just a quibble, but AFAIR many people were aware that the Lord Ruler was as powerful as he claimed to be, and Keslier's plan mostly hinged on "realpolitik" (founding Survivorism, spreading rumors that the Lord Ruler could be killed to undermine the Fascist Cult). I'm not even sure Kelsier believed the "Lord if the Rings" method would even work.

Spend a lot of time thinking about the storytelling potential of the Fascist You Literally Can’t Kill.

 A lot of rhetoric on this site about IRL fascism highlights the inherent weakness of the fascist as it exists in real life, about how they turn on whoever’s on top of the pile at the first sign of weakness (I’m specifically thinking of a post by @quasi-normalcy here.) That’s true and good, and stories that metaphorically reflect that real-life weakness through a fantastical lens have value.

 I really enjoy, however, the worldbuilding and storytelling implications of a authoritarian society that’s basically brute-force-enabled by the fact the guy at the top of the pyramid actually is as powerful, if not more powerful, than their propaganda implies. My favorite beat in Mistborn was when the protagonists had their very sensible assumption that they were living in a story about the hollow facade and rhetorical flimsiness of fascism upended by the reveal that the Lord Ruler actually was a quasi-deific figure he claimed to be, and that he could depopulate the continent barehanded even you were to kill the rest of his ruling apparatus to the man, and there’s this very abrupt shift into frantically figuring out how to win along Lord of the Rings terms instead of realpolitik Hunger Games terms. There was a web serial I read called The Fifth Defiance where the whole world’s military apparatus is geared towards giving Evil!Superwoman enough of an entertaining fight that she doesn’t succumb to her depression and murder the whole planet; her empire is basically a failed state but geopolitically that doesn’t matter, only keeping this one powerful maniac pacified matters. That whole “Palpatine is like if the Scooby Doo villain started snapping necks�� post is adjacent to this. I’ve yet to read The Locked Tomb (It’s next on the list) but I get the strong strong impression from the tumblr buzz that Emperor John Whatshisface occupies this conceptual niche.

Now often these veer back into being about the flimsiness of fascism because, you know, it’s usually one powerful (but very mentally unstable!) superhuman heading the whole shebang, and that turns into a synecdoche for how fascist states fail more broadly. I’m describing the “Evil Overlord” trope in more words than I need to. But if the guy the Fascist Cult is built around actually is incredibly personally powerful, innately powerful, that’s a fundamentally different thing than anything in real life where the head honcho position is much more fungible. There’s a real innate power there; people are flocking to something bad but the incentives are different because it is something real. You’re not modelling fascism accurately with that set-up. But you are modelling something very very interesting from a spec-fic perspective, if you’re willing to engage with the objective conditions presented by the metaphor.