#kenzie literally never misses

[isitthemoon]

I have... opinions...... about the boyz comeback

[andsour]

trauma candy salad hnlm edition !!

content warning : trauma dumping , illness and death of a parent , death by suicide , absent parents , toxic workplace , body shaming , toxic relationships , implied drug and alcohol abuse , cheating. none of this is actually depicted in detail , but it is discussed by the characters in a flippant joking manner. lmk if there's anything i missed and i'll add it immediately !! ib : @bluwavez <3

the video starts with joori sitting cross–legged on the floor, dressed in a pink pyjama set and holding up a pack of candies as she waits to begin before whoever’s behind the phone camera whispers, “okay, go!”.

“hello, i’m joori, and when i was a kid my family lost our house and had to move in with my grandma because my dad got sick, so i decided to become an idol so i could be, like, rich and save our family, right? then right before i debuted, he died.” she shares bluntly. “i brought the sweet & sour strawberry chews!” she drops a handful of the unpeeled candies into the bowl.

“hi, guys! i’m ryuhyun, and i never had any real friends growing up because i was homeschooled, so obviously i was really excited to become a trainee and finally make some friends, just for everyone to hate me because they thought i got their friend cut on purpose. i brought strawberry milk candy.” she explains, pushing her glasses up higher on the bridge of her nose before pouring the still–wrapped candy into the bowl. she looks up at the camera like she’s just remembered something. “it’s okay, they all like me now.” she adds sweetly, chuckling along with the other girls.

“hey, i’m meilin, and i was always praised by my dance instructors growing up for staying late at the studio and being so hard–working and driven, but it was really just because neither of my parents were ever home and i didn’t have anything better to do,” meilin shares. “i brought skittles!”

“hiiii! my name’s kenzie, and when i was thirteen on the mickey mouse club, i got bullied for being “annoying” and “ugly” by people on the internet so i left that company and changed literally everything about myself but it didn’t matter because they still don’t like me. i brought nerds gummy clusters!” she explains animatedly, all in one breath, pouring the contents of the bag into the bowl.

“i’m ej, i brought twizzlers nibs, and when i was in first grade, my mom killed herself.” ej states simply, dumping what she can into the bowl and then picking off the pieces that get stuck to the inside of the bag. the video is abnormally quiet as she does so, then cuts abruptly.

“i’m joori, and when i asked our creative director why she refused to put a song i worked really hard on, on our album, that, mind you, our producers had already approved of, she told me it was dogshit! i brought watermelon sour patch kids.” she says, smiling stiffly, which makes the rest of the girls laugh, breaking the tense atmosphere.

anna has to take a second to collect herself, still cracking up, before she starts. “hi, i’m anna, and that same creative director told me i was fat and it was ruining all of our concept pictures,” she forces an exaggerated frown before snickering. “i brought peach rings!”

“i’m ej, and a year ago my mentally unstable ex–girlfriend trashed my room while she screamed at and broke up with me for the hundredth time, but i did cheat on her with her—” the camera whips around to reveal kenzie with her jaw ajar, shocked at being exposed at first, before she clamps a hand over her mouth and laughs, then turns back to ej. “— so it was warranted, i guess. i brought haitai plum candies.” she shrugs, before dumping the candy into the bowl.

“i’m meilin, and a guy led me on for a year, let me buy him a bunch of shit and treated me like his girlfriend, just to tell me he wanted to back to being only friends, then, like, a week later popped out with another girl on his private instagram, and when i confronted him about it he was like, “well, i never asked you to do all that!”,” meilin mockingly puts on an exaggerated deep voice when she says the last part, then rolls her eyes. “and that’s why his group’s comeback flopped. i brought sweet tart chews.”

“ryuhyun again!” the girl chimes, waving to the camera. “at a fansign when we first debuted, this fan straight–up acted like i didn’t exist— like, they wouldn’t even look at me or let me sign their stuff. i didn’t get any gifts. then, people on twitter called me a crybaby for getting up and leaving half–way through… so i could go cry.” she admits the last part sheepishly, laughing at herself a little with the other girls. “i brought gummy bears.”

“i’m anna, and whenever i made a mistake while i was singing opera solos in a literal children’s chorus, because i was a literal child, my mom would get angry and refuse to talk to me for days,” she shares. “i brought jolly ranchers!”

“i’m kenzie and when i was eighteen, i dated this fucking loser— his name is kim daehyun, by the way—” kenzie starts as the rest of the group laughs scandalously at the name–drop. “and when he’d get mad at me, which was basically all the time, he’d repeat my hate comments to me. i stayed with him for eight months, though, and hooked up with him, like, three times after we broke up. i brought green apple sour straws!”

“girl.” anna chides off–camera as the others snicker.

kenzie shakes her head and waves her hands, embarrassed by her past self. “i’ve learned since then, i promise!”

“hey, i’m ej, and i spent the year i turned twenty–one getting fucked up and partying every night, and i almost lost my job because of it,” ej explains, carding her free hand through her dark hair. “i brought mini starbursts.”

the video cuts, but ej is still in the frame, joined by joori who has an arm draped over her shoulder. “i’m joori and i basically had to stage an intervention so she wouldn’t lose her job. best friends!” the girl smiles widely, hugging ej closer. “oh and, i brought trolli sour bite night crawlers!”

the gummy worms fall onto the pile of candy in the bowl with a thud. an unsteady hand holds the camera over the bowl while the girls use their hands to mix the candy together, their voices and laughter overlapping in the background. it cuts again to ej violently shaking the bowl to better mix the candy and making a mess. finally, it ends with kenzie holding up a peace sign while the rest of the group poses behind her, chewing on their candy as they chime, “byeeee!”

[felonytaxevasion]

Ok you know what I'm gonna complain about Ward for like three (that was hubris it ended up being like ten) not proofread paragraphs then I'm gonna get back to the clown mines (the clown Mimes??? One could say)

But spoilers and general ward rudeness below.

Disclaimer that I have three more arcs and also I got my degree in drawing pretty pictures Im not the most media literate person out there I probably missed something

See what's driving me absolutely bonkers about Ward is that. It is called Ward. And it is about a traumatized former child soldier taking partial custody of current child soldiers. And also the former protagonists are mostly relevant because they also have guardianship of child soldiers who are friends with the other child soldiers. And the book is ostensibly NOT about parenthood and guardianship.

All of the best parts of Ward are about Breakthrough watching out for Kenzie (and Chris before they decided they don't care anymore) and the Undersiders with the heartbroken + Aiden. The fact even 17 chapters in Victoria and Lisa still don't really like each other but are working together because at the end of the day they would both drop everything to help the kids is such good characterization.

And it also works!! with the whole Amy Dallon Problem!!! Because the canon establishes that Amy became a Problem because of her dysfunctional family unit led by Carol. And then Victoria is put in charge of sort of dysfunctional family unit, doesn't notice how bad Chris is getting and he goes villain. Same character arc as Amy but it doesn't lead Victoria to change any values she has about her family. She doesn't blame herself for Chris and become more sympathetic to Amy in the process. But also she doesn't become more sympathetic to Carol now that Chris has affirmed her world view that "some people are bad and you can't do anything about it."

By the by Amy is also given Wards of her own in Riley, Dot, and Hunter but none of them get to interact with the Tenders and or even get to be parallels to them. Amy doesn't get to care for her "kids" in the way Vic Lisa and Aisha do. Her kids are irrelevant, not human, and just a victim of her respectively. Oh and she also has Chris but now he's spontaneously a full adult so nevermind all that. And I want Amy to be a villain I don't care if she's a bad guardian or still demonized but I wish they could do it in an interesting way that contrasts our protagonists. Cause instead she's a villain because she's so incompetent at being a hero she ends up being a villain on accident. Which is BORING! IM BORED!

And all the Amy villain blandness is supposed to somehow tie back to the central theme of self identity but none of breakthroughs identity crisises are written in a way that, at least to me personally, emotionally hit. Except Sveta. Hang on actually I'm going through the list.

Victoria's identity is supposedly fragmented between Glory Girl, The Wretch, Antares, """The Warrior Monk""", and The Scholar. But in practical terms these identities have very little tangible difference. Glory Girl hits like a brute without remorse, Antares hits like a brute and considers if she should feel remorse and then doesn't unless it's her mom, the wretch is externalized into being her shard which is fully a different character, and the Warrior Monk and Scholar are just ideologies she wants to follow but never feels frustration at not being able to adhere to. She never hits and is like "oh time to have a crisis because I was trying to be more of a pacifist" she tends to usually say to herself "oh the warrior monk would be fine with that" which is good writing IF you're making a delusional weeaboo character who we're meant to see as insane but I think we're supposed to like Vic so!! What are we doing here!!!

Ashley makes Her defining identity choice, the thing that separates her from Damsel, Off Screen and it isn't even shown as a flashback in her interlude. The part where she turns herself in for attacking Beast of Burden is a good continuation of that arc but the turning point was her choice to receive amnesty and try to be someone different. Which again. Off screen before the story started!

Just like Rain!!! Who once again gets a moment I genuinely think is good where he fully rejects the Fallen by not marrying Erin but again!! That's just a follow through of his self identity turning point that happened before the story started!!!

Which is also Tristan and Byron!!!!!! First of all I think that in a book about self identity and bleed through and knowing where you start and the people around you stop, it's insane that Tristan and Byrons crisis starts not because they realize they're losing themselves in the others personality but because they have opposite sexualities. Personally if I was gonna make gay panic the whole thing with them I would have the inciting incident be one of them starting to feel bisexual attraction as a result of being in their brothers head so often and getting upset about losing a facet of their identity they felt was critical. But whatever!! Even with the existing crisis it happens!!! Before the story!!! Tristan decides to kill Byron and then that he wants his brother back! Before! The! Main! Story! Happens!

The only characters who have a definitive turning point are Sveta and Chris. Chris is almost immediately written out of the story after his turning point. And Sveta actually is really good and I have no notes I think it was really well executed. I love you Sveta.

I'm not even sure where to put Kenzie since her struggles seem to mostly be about changing habits and behaviors rather than identity. She seems like she can easily envision a Kenzie that's better but still Kenzie. And she is super attached to her tech but I haven't read any scenes where it feels like she doesn't feel like herself without her tech. She just feels unwanted which is good writing! I like how Kenzie is written I think it just doesn't tie in to the central theme.

Anyway rant over I maybe will delete this later but this book is driving me bonkers crazy

[razoarmachi]

Answering About OCs!

So lately, there have been a few tweets in @/ocsbase2 about QnA for original characters. And here, I will answer some of them! Today's topic is family and friends.

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Q: Who are your OCs that perceive their family as their pillar of happiness?

A: Obviously it's Elise. Just like a typical superhero, she vows to preserve them from any twist of fate. Elise is willing to take any damage for the sake of their safety. I'd like to half-put Riley in this situation since she loved her younger brother so much but not the other family members.

Q: OCs who have siblings, do they get a happy ending?

A: Too bad, Riley didn't get a happy ending with her beloved brother. He went missing, and she had no place to go home and no reason to go back from Fazbear Entertainment. While for Lucel, neither a sad nor happy ending, she got what she deserved. Her twin, Lucia, doesn't need to suffer from the abuse of becoming a perfect model for society even though Lucel barely wants to meet her in person. As long as Lucia is happy and enjoys her new life, Lucel doesn't mind. Also, Lucel's case is similar to Kanon's.

Q: Who are your OCs who don't get along with their family, why?

A: Lucel's family formed a long-time cult which made her become a sacrificial lamb to the devil they worshipped just because she's the only one who is blessed with The Destruction path after decades. Tired of being tormented and experienced hours of sickening ritual for a hundred life loop, Lucel killed her parents and committed mass murder to all followers of that heretical cult. In Yuki's case, he was raised as a perfect child in order to be his family's successor. He absolutely demised that, which is why he spent more time with his mentor at school in his childhood. He started to get mentally abused, and that's where he also started to rebel against his parents. The result was, even though he was very young, he became violent towards anyone who limits him to do something he likes.

Q: Are there any OCs who are abandoned by their family?

A: Amia. She was abandoned and only left with a house and transferred money that flowed while she had not yet graduated from school. She lived alone, but of course, she wasn't being abandoned since she was a baby.

Q: Your OCs who look alike but they're not twins?

A: Amia and Keira. They both have the same hair color and length, but different bangs. Haruka and Elise, same hairstyle but different color.

Q: Do you have OCs who are in a friend group?

A: I will never separate this trio; Elise, Romelle and Claire.

Q: Does your OC have a platonic/romantic relationship with another OC?

A: Elise is platonic to Romelle and Claire, but Romelle has a spark of romantic feeling for Elise deep inside. Fyodor and Anzhelina are romantic partners. Daniel has a romantic feeling towards Kenzie.

Q: If one dies but the other is alive, what would they do?

A: This is literally Fyodor and Anzhelina. Fyodor died in a big conflict that happened in his family. Anzhelina was extremely saddened, but she was glad that he came back as an undead even though he's not 'alive'.

Q: Is there any OCTP that constantly fights but they actually care for each other?

A: Yuki and Kanon. They fight over silly things, sometimes Yuki is the one who starts it because his ego is kinda high + he's a tsundere and Kanon is always ready to tease him. They get along again as time flows but hey, it's already their daily life.

Q: How and with whom do your OCs celebrate their birthday?

A: Elise only celebrates it with her fam and her bffs, and she doesn't use tart cake. Kanon celebrates it with Yuki and Kaoru. Kenzie celebrates her birthday by herself because she doesn't like crowds and also wants to keep her birthdate as secret information.

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[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​​ @jessou893​​ @stealapizzamyheart​​ @bagelofthelord​​ @mxnt​​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​​ @ohladymacbeth​​ @wildflowergubler​​ @supraveng​​ @twinerd14​​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​​ @charminivy​​ @amelia-song-pond​​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​​ @tcc-gizmachine​​ @sipsteacasually​​ @prettyintopeerpressure​​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky

[queenofbaws]

Hello again Queenie! Hope your Sunday is treating you well.

May I please request some fluffy post-canon Nick and Abi? Really been in the mood for them lately

Thank you ❤️

((Well hello again Kenzie! My Sunday’s going fine, and I hope yours is as well - I just wanted to say I tried to keep this to six sentences. I really did. The universe, however, had different plans. ;)c ))

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

“I...wait, wait, I didn’t...I didn’t hear that at all. Sorry, could you say that again?”

“Yeah, no, I...hang on, what part didn’t you hear?”

“Um...all? All of it? I think I missed all of it?”

“Oh.”

Abi had never really gotten why cartoon characters smacked themselves in the face when they were embarrassed, but as she got up from her bed and began pacing around her dorm room, it slowly began to make sense. The urge was there - the one that said slapping her own forehead sure couldn’t hurt the situation at hand, so why not give it a try - and man oh man, the way their connection kept cutting out seemed to suggest Nick wouldn’t be able to see her do it if she gave in, but...well, knowing her luck, that’d be the one moment FaceTime actually chose to work.

“Is this better?” she asked, nestling into the corner closest to the room’s window, her phone still held out at arm’s length. “On your end, I mean? Am I cutting out any less, or...?”

“Uh...gimme a second, it’s...maybe? Yeah, maybe it’s better.” Nick was quiet for a moment, probably waiting to see if his reception held up, and so Abi crossed her fingers that...wait.

Nope. Nope, he was absolutely frozen. Or his camera was, anyway. Ugh!

She let her knees give out under her, sending her back sliding down the wall until she was sitting in a heap on the tight, nappy fibers of the dorm’s carpet. “Can you hear me, at least?” she asked, her free hand moving not to smack her forehead (even though the urge was still absolutely there) but to prop her head up, smooshing against her cheek. “Maybe we should just switch to voice, do you think that would work better?”

Nick’s answer came over the line, but it was choppy and hard to make out, some weird echoing in the background making it sound like he was walking down an incredibly long hallway or something.

The fact of the matter was...a lot of their calls had a habit of devolving into this. It was some combination of different phone providers, bad reception, and (there was no way around it) Nick’s terrible luck with dropping his phone. Altogether it was just sort of a recipe for disaster, but...well...she still wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

After everything that had happened at camp, the thought of them all going their separate ways had hit sooo much harder than she ever thought it could’ve. The goodbyes had been almost impossible. There had been crying - real, actual crying - when they’d all gotten off the bus and headed for their respective homes, and there’d been a minute there where she’d worried her parents were going to have to literally find a, a, a carjack or something to wrench her and Nick apart when they’d said their goodbyes and hugged that one last time.

They hadn’t. It had been a close thing, though.

It was funny to think that one of the last talks she and Emma had had before things had gone so sideways back in North Kill was whether or not she was going to try and get Nick’s number. There hadn’t actually been any trying involved - it had just happened, and then the two of them were texting almost constantly, calling nearly every night, and sure most of those calls ended when one of their phones just plain decided enough was enough and dropped the call for them, but the fact remained that something about the distance had brought them even closer together. ...if that made sense. Which it probably didn’t. But she wasn’t an English major, so she guessed it didn’t matter too much.

“Hello?” Abi sighed, not without a tired smile as she waited to see whether Nick’s camera would unfreeze, or if she’d be able to understand his voice the next time he spoke. “Hellooooooo?”

“Yeah, hi, sorry Abi. I think my battery’s dying or something, it’s...ughhh. You sound so choppy right now.”

“Oh, I sound choppy?” she joked. “I wish you could hear what you sound like right now. It’s like you’re running up and down a tunnel, and - wait, are you? Running up and down a tunnel, I mean. I can’t really see what’s happening behind you, so...”

“Okay, I didn’t hear any of that. Or like...half of it? Did you ask me if I was in a funnel?”

“Tunnel!” she laughed, slowing her voice down to enunciate, “TUN. NEL. ARE. YOU. IN. A. TUNNEL?”

Nick laughed a moment later, the lag in their call catching his face in an unflattering half-grin before freezing up again. “No,” he said, his image on screen at odds with his voice, “I’m not in a tunnel. Why would I be in a tunnel?”

“I don’t know. I figured it’d be rude to ask.” The sound of his laugh had her going twice as badly as before, all giggles and smiles despite the awful connection. That, to be fair, was also how all their calls went. It didn’t matter how rough of a day she’d been having, how bad her classes were or how cold the food in the dining hall had been, talking to Nick had a way of just...magically making all of that so much better.

She missed him so, so much. More than she’d imagined she would.

“Well no, I’m not in a tunnel. It’s funny you’d ask that, though, because - ”

Only before he could explain why it was so hi-larious that she’d bring up the horrible echo on his end, a sudden knock on her door had her jumping out of her skin and back onto her feet. “Augh!” she gasped, her free hand on her heart, her head turned away from Nick’s frozen image. “Hang on, sorry, someone’s knocking...if my roommate was here, I’d let her get it, but the RA’s been in suuuch a bad mood this week, and...” She didn’t hang up, instead letting her arm hover just below chin-level as she gathered herself and walked over to the door. Abi took a deep breath and put on her ‘I-can-definitely-deal-with-people’ face (the one Emma had tried so, so valiantly to teach her), and opened the door fully expecting to be met with her RA’s usual scowl...

“ - it’s funny because I am in a hallway,” Nick said, looking a little sheepish as he stood there in front of her, in person, literally thousands of miles from where he was supposed to be at that very moment in time. “And when you think about it, I mean...hallways are sort of tunnels, I guess? In a technical sense, anyway, but...hi.”

Abi decided she didn’t get to make fun of Nick for dropping his phone anymore; not when hers tumbled out of her hand and landed on the ground with an awful crack as she threw herself into his arms and hugged him with all her might.

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

�� i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

[thedeadthree]

3, 18, 19 and 20 from the OC asks for my beloved Elin!

- alya 💚💚💚💚

hiii alya!!!!!!! i literally adore u sm gahhhh thank u for the ask!! beloved miss elin ✨🥺

3. they’re locked out in the rain, what do they do?

— start crying her chanel tote bag for aeon is EXPENSIVE asdffghsj no but she absolutely loooves the rain especially in the mornings. it’s relaxing to her like it’s a moment of peace for her mind to turn off the sound speaker that is her thoughts and just be elin! if she was stuck outside in the rain she usually keeps an umbrella in her bag so elin would pop that out and maybe read an ebook on her phone before she called nick or gray or sally to open the door so she can get in [or even kent to come pick her up from wherever she is ✨😌] !! loves to kind of zone out for a moment!!

18. what do they do to cheer themselves up?

— other than the staple clueless rewatches and scream at the top of their lungs to music in her room sessions with sally, going to an art museum [the chicago art museum being her go-to!] and just existing is what she finds the most cathartic for her when she’s feeling down in the dumps! and OF COURSE, most of all her favorite future husband kenzie has grown like a sixth sense to how elins feeling so bringing the girls is an essential!! and!! it works like a charm!! instant bad mood eraser!! her girls!! she always wanted dogs but never got the chance to and now she has TWO :’). THEYRE SO CUTE IT MAKES ME YELLLL.

19. what would their 1am convenience store snack purchases be?

— answered here! 💛 she would loove also grabbing a green tea to go with her snacks!! bb girl loves green tea :)

20. if they had to romance a character from another IF, who do you think they’d go for?

— i could absolutely see her with a few!! m o’connor from ace of spades [can see them talking about art for HOURS ugh the POWER they would have], adegoke babalola from body count [gorgeous, loves to write, and PASSIONATE about it? right up her ally sign her up for the next season!!], leon dalton from keeper of the sun and moon [could see them talking for hours about their parents and being the style icon fashion couple they deserve!], and n reid from we all bleed red [gorgeous, great fashion, stands up for people, is passionate, and she could do with taking more risks]!!

oc ask prompts

[lostgirlrewatch]

1x12 - (Dis)Members Only

Written by: Jeremy Boxen

Directed by: Steve DiMarco

Original Air Date: December 5, 2010

Almost exactly 10 years ago today, Lost Girl episode 1x08 - Vexed aired for the first time on Showtime.

It’s been a while, but I’m finally back on my Lost Girl bullshit.

The second to last episode of Season 1 has Bo and Dyson being all domestic and nauseatingly square and heterosexual, where they go undercover with Kenzi to a rich country club where illegal immigrant employees have been disappearing.

YIKES! What a loaded episode. 

And you know what, in honor of an evil megalomaniacal racist guilty of countless crimes against humanity being elected out of the office of US president, I’m gonna post my first Lost Girl Rewatch blg post in months. Yee haw!

I’m pretty sure Kenzi and Hale represent the entire Lost Girl fandom at this moment. This screenshot is so memetic, honestly. So accurate.

Kenzi and Hale, like the rest of us, are fed up with all this boring heterosexual nonsense, and make a bet on when Bo and Dyson will break up again.

For the record, I do support heterosexuality on this show. But only when it’s Kenzi and Hale. I adore them.

So some tree monster is nabbing illegal immigrant employees at a rich white people country club.

To be honest, this episode doesn’t ever delve too deeply into the political and social issues it’s nodding to. It never refers to the illegal immigrants as anything other than “illegals” or “foreigners” when referencing discrimination, and so it doesn’t directly address the issue of racism even though it’s clearly at play--most if not all of the illegal immigrants we see are from Latin America, Kenzi goes undercover as a Venezuelan, and all the country club members are rich white people. The show doesn’t directly acknowledge this even though it wants us to make the connection. It also doesn’t make clear what country we are in. Lost Girl tries to keep it’s location ambiguous throughout its run, so we don’t quite know if we’re in the US or Canada. But...I mean, come on. My money is on Canada.

Let me just explain the Fae of the Week up front: it’s called a “landwyght,” and it is bound to a piece of land on which it periodically feeds on the inhabitants to then fertilize said land with their remains. The remaining inhabitants on the land then reap enormous rewards in the form of riches, promotions, abundant plant growth, and so on. In this case, the landwyght periodically feeds off illegal immigrant employees so that the country club members reap riches.

I feel like it’s pretty obvious they were trying to create some kind of bloated metaphor here a la old school Buffy, where the rich white members of the country club are literally feeding off the sacrifices of the immigrant employees and becoming richer and richer while the sacrifices get swept under the table and forgotten.

But to be honest, I feel like it could have been executed better. The whole thing feels pretty half-assed, and the immigrant employees themselves--the actual victims--are never front and center where they should be. The main focus of our concern is Kenzi, who isn’t a real immigrant, only one in disguise. They only get a parting gift at the end of the episode when Bo lets them rise up and kill the monster. It’s lame at best. Feels very much like a white person wrote this in 2010. I do appreciate the effort, though.

Anyway, an old friend of Kenzi’s from her street days asks for help since his cousin Thumper is one of the employees who went missing. Bo cheekily asks if his cousin is a rabbit, to which the guy replies that it’s just a street name.

“This one’s name was Meow Meow,” he says of Kenzi.

So Bo and Dyson go undercover as a ritzy husband and wife while Kenzi goes undercover as an employee.

Bonus screenshot of Dyson teasing Kenzi and Kenzi flipping Dyson off. Later on in the episode, you will see the characters having a serious conversation about the case while Kenzi and Hale tease and swat at each other in the background, and it just feels very organic. One of the things I always liked about this show was how much the characters felt like real friends.

Creepy groundskeeper staring at Kenzi from the trees. Come on, it’s obviously him. They should already be on this guy’s ass. It’s him! Hello! The creepy groundskeeper!

What’s-her-face is the Chair of the Board of something or other, and her rival basically tells her that she’s going to unseat her. She makes this face when she says that she was afraid of that. Oh, dear.

Oh.

This is her whacking the woman in the back of the head with a golf club and knowingly letting the monster eat her, by the way.

So anyway, Saskia randomly shows up at Bo’s door with a charming sassy insult, as she does. God love her. Only Inga Cadranel could make the character this charming and yet this terrifying at the same time. She’s brilliant.

While Kenzi and Hale are searching the director’s office undercover, Hale tries to turn it into a sexy moment, which Kenzi quickly rebuffs with, “This is not a sexy undercover moment!” It’s another early cute moment.  🥺

Dyson is territorial and tells Bo that he doesn’t want to share her. Blah-dy-blah-dy-blah.

He then tells her that since she is a succubus, it is not in her nature to be monogamous. His exact words.

Bo replies, smartly, that she is more than just her species.

Way to go and mansplain to Bo what is and isn’t “in her nature,” Dyson. And good for Bo for basically telling him that that whole line of thinking is dangerous, untrue, and stupid. Like, WAY dangerous, untrue, and stupid.

Dyson admits that he is territorial and dumb. I do appreciate that, at least. He can see his own flaws. Whether or not he will make efforts to change is another story, but at least he recognizes is shortcomings, unlike Lauren.

Bo tells Dyson that the only way their relationship can work is if there are no secrets between them. Dyson guiltily agrees, but he and Trick are still keeping something big from her.

Dyson tells Trick that he is going to tell Bo everything if Trick doesn’t. Obviously, Trick is a prick about it.

So it turns out that it’s actually NOT the groundskeeper. Okay, fair enough. But still, it was driving me nuts all episode that he was the obvious culprit and it took them until the very end to question him. They could have narrowed their options and found out it was this lady a lot sooner.

Aaaand in the end, Saskia walks up to the precinct and assaults Dyson while he’s waiting for Bo. She declares that she is the one Dyson is looking for.

After Bo arrives and Saskia leaves, with Dyson dying on the floor, Bo manages to give Dyson some life energy back, mastering a new succubus skill that she once saw Saskia perform. We learn that Saskia’s real name is Aife, and she’s someone that Dyson knows.

That’s pretty much how the episode ends. No conclusions. All that’s left is the final episode in Season 1.

[herewegoagainniall]

I’ll Love Her Still: Part 10 (Brian May x Female!Reader)

WELL. It’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it? I know that the whole world has just kinda....ended, but on the bright side, the quarantine has finally made me write more! I’m coming to the last few parts of the fic now, and I honestly can’t believe this journey is going to be over soon. Thank you to everyone who’s supported this story in any way, I’ll never be able to thank you all enough ❤️. 

TAGLIST: @alittlepeoplemagic​; @brianmayplease​; @brianmayscurls​; @chlobo6​; @d-illo​; @delilahmay39​; @kenzie-belle​; @killer-queen-xo​; @kiwithekiwi​; @lizzybeth1986​; @maryfree​; @moreinfinite​; @readinghorn​; @rogerscupboard​; @thelegumemother​ 

TRIGGERS: Guys there is so much angst here. Like seriously, the end of this chapter gets...kind of awful. It’s important for character development! But if fights or name calling triggers you, just sit this part out and wait for the next one. 

“Ladies and germs,” the sound of Freddie’s best flight attendant impression roused you from your slumber, “welcome to sunny California!!”

You rubbed your eyes and looked out the window at the sprawling City of Angels, feeling an excited smile spread across your face. You turned to Brian with bright eyes and held his arm tightly. “Brian!” you said through teeth that were clenched in an uncontrollable smile. “We’re here!”

Brian looked past you and out the window, smiling. “I know!” he mimicked your tone teasingly before pulling back to kiss you on the forehead.

The wheels of the plane touched down (so harshly that you and Brian literally bumped heads, something that the two of you laughed about for the next hour), and the usual production of going to the luggage carousel and declaring your belongings at customs had an added element of enchantment to it. You were finally here- Los Angeles. The American capital of the rock and roll world. Anybody who was anybody made their name out here. And now you were here with Queen; it was almost to surreal to think of.

You didn’t really get to spend much of that day with Brian- he and the boys had to rehearse at the venue and then do press, so you roamed the city with Amber. The dress she picked out for you to wear to the concert and the after party was tasteful, but still clung to your body in just the right ways. It made you feel beautiful. Hell, LA itself made you feel beautiful. Beautiful, happy and… free.

That night, Queen and Mott the Hoople played their absolute hearts out- you could swear that you watched both bands transform into rock gods right before your very eyes. Brian, Freddie, Deacy, Rog… it was a true metamorphosis for the four of them. It was the kind of life-changing performance that you could tell your grandchildren you saw, and say, “I knew them when…”

Still in the clouds after the performance, the Queen entourage made their way to the Continental Hyatt House (lovingly referred to as the “Riot House” by the rock stars you ran with) for the after party. The place was practically swarming with people of all walks of life. Hippies, rockers, groupies, roadies, rock writers, tour promoters- anyone who was anyone was there. It was an overpowering kaleidoscope of long hair and glitter eyeshadow and alcohol. LOTS of alcohol. You’d had the perfect amount- just enough to get you buzzing, not so much that you were going to regret it later. Brian had been by your side for pretty much the whole night, but he also knew that this night was just as much for you as it was for him. This was your chance to reconnect with the scene that you’d left to follow him around the country, and he wanted you to grab it.

You’d seen so many friends already- old friends, the kind you never think about in the day-to-day, and then the minute you see them, it’s as if no time had passed at all. But you were also seeing a lot of familiar faces. Here was the promoter you’d blown for Led Zeppelin tickets, there was the roadie you’d flashed so you could get backstage and catch Roger Daltrey’s eye. They were everywhere, and for the first time in a long time, you felt wholly yourself.

The sunshine glow from your fourth drink was warming you all over, and you felt like you were on top of the world. Then you heard him. “Lily, Lily, Lily. The only woman who was my kind.”

You whirled around and felt your heart soar.

“Joe Walsh, as I live and breathe!!” you laughed and let out a squeal as Joe wrapped his arms around you and spun you in a circle. Out of all the rock stars that you’d been with (before Brian, of course), Joe had been your favorite. He was talented, sweet, and never ever failed to make you laugh. Maybe in another life, something more serious could have happened between the two of you- but now wasn’t the time for that. For now, you were just grinning like a fool, and you felt so happy to see him. “I’ve missed you,” you exhaled.

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart,” Joe chuckled and set you down. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“I could ask you the same question! I thought you were in Ohio.”

Joe shrugged and laughed softly. “C’mon, Lily, you know there’s not a whole lot out in Ohio for us. We had to come out here to make it big.” You felt his hands rest softly on your hips, but you didn’t push him away. It felt natural, having him here with you. “What about you?? You finally made it out to LA, like you always wanted.”

“I did,” you grinned. “I’m here with Queen.”

“Aw, shoot, we wanted to see them but we had things to do.”

“Well, you should see them if you can. They’re going to be legends.”

Joe raised his eyebrows. “Legends, huh? Well, Lil, if YOU say it, then it must be so.”

You chuckled softly, finding yourself falling more and more into Joe’s eyes. God, you’d forgotten how captivating he could be. But you didn’t want to take it any further, obviously: you were here with Brian. Where WAS Brian anyway?

“You know,” Joe smirked, “I thought I saw Delphi from Sacramento somewhere here. You maybe wanna grab her and a bottle of José Cuervo and see where the night takes us?”

“Easy there, cowboy,” you laughed, nodding over to the other side of the room, which was the last place you saw Brian, “I’m here with someone else.”

“So he doesn’t let you have fun?” Joe grinned that jackal grin that had always made your heart skip a beat. “I really have missed you,” he added, his voice becoming a little softer.

You tucked Joe’s hair behind his ear and smiled. “Maybe another time, Joe, okay?”

Joe nodded slowly, pressing his lips to the place where your thumb met the rest of your hand. “You must really like this guy, huh?”

A sunny feeling spread across your heart and you nodded. “I do,” you confessed. “He’s different, Joe, he really is.”

Joe was about to say something, but a sing-song voice called, “Jooooooooe” from across the room. The jackal smirk returned to his face again and he sheepishly said, “Guess I’ve gotta go.”

You nodded, understanding. “I’ll see you around, Joe,” you gave him one last smile.

Joe bent down and pressed his lips to your knuckles, a gentlemanly gesture completely at odds with his personality. “Take care of yourself, flower,” he murmured, already halfway to the other voice that demanded his attention.

It was odd- watching Joe leave normally made your heart drop slightly, the feeling of not knowing when you’d see each other again difficult to bear. But it wasn’t there this time. Maybe you were growing. Or maybe you just missed Brian. You decided to go with the latter and try to find him.

Making your way through the maze of glitter and flared jeans, you found yourself in the hallway. After you gave a quick hello to a couple more familiar faces, you saw Brian leaning against the wall, arms crossed. You didn’t pay it any mind- he was probably just tired or cold or something.

“Hey stranger,” you smiled at him.

Brian turned his head slightly and mumbled, “Hello.”

“Where have you been?”

“Around.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You sound like you just walked through the catacombs and the skulls started talking to you.”

Brian smiled unwittingly, lulling you into security. “’M just tired, I guess.”

“Why don’t you go to bed then, granddad?” you teased him slightly. “I’ll come up with you.”

“No.” The harshness of his tone surprised the both of you, and Brian cleared his throat. “I’ll be fine,” he clarified, his voice a bit softer.

His words were falling on deaf ears-  you were already turning around, the pull of an LA party too strong to make you want to leave. “You sure?” you called over your shoulder.

Brian didn’t respond, so you filled in the silence for him. “Okay, then I’ll just-”

“Exactly how much of a slut are you??”

You froze in your tracks. He didn’t… he did not… You turned on your feet slowly. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me.” Brian’s eyes were ablaze. “How many people have you fucked before that I’ve met tonight? Hm?”

“Brian, that is… there’s no stretch of the imagination where that could matter in the slightest!”

“How many?” he repeated.

“I-I don’t know, I…” you were sincerely racking your brain, trying to think of who was at this party. “Who’s here?”

Brian scoffed and shook his head, running a hand over his face. “Unbelievable,” he murmured.

“What?” you could feel your mood beginning to sour. “What’s going on with you?”

“‘What’s going on with me??’” Brian laughed humorlessly. “I didn’t realize taking you to L.A. meant I’d be confronted with every guy you’ve ever given the time of day to.”

“I… honey, I didn’t know that there would be so many of them here, okay? I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

“Yeah. Well. It is.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Look, Brian, I get that you’re jealous, but that’s no reason t-”

“Jealous?” Brian said mockingly. “What do I have to be jealous about? I’m not some groupie who just goes around letting complete strangers into her bed night after night.”

The confusion in your heart was slowly starting to transform into anger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Pretty obvious what it’s supposed to mean, isn’t it?” Brian scoffed. “I’ve got no reason to be jealous of someone like you, hopping from one sucker to another, lying about who they are and thinking that everything’s just going to be hunky dory.”

“Brian,” you said in a tone that you hoped conveyed just how pissed off you were becoming, “I don’t know where this is coming from, but it needs to stop. Now can we please just go back to the party?”

Brian’s eyes narrowed. “So you can find my replacement, right?”

You could feel your hands ball into fists. “You knew what you were getting into with me,” you growled. “The first night we met, I asked you if it bothered you that I was a groupie, and you said ‘no’. You haven’t had any complaints at all before tonight, and now all of a sudden, I’m just trash, is that it?”

Brian shook his head. “You don’t get it, Y/N. Or Lily, or whoever the fuck you are.”

“Brian, if you have something to tell me-”

“I LOVE YOU!”

Oh God.

The silence between the two of you was suffocating. It was a horrible, choking silence that completely knocked the wind out of you. “What?” you gasped, terrified to speak in anything above a whisper.

“I… I love you,” Brian repeated, softer but with the same intensity as before.

Words escaped you. It was like a nuclear bomb had gone off, but you and Brian were the only ones at the detonation site. “Brian,” was all you could say. Not even say, whisper. Hell, not even whisper- it came out like a breath.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Brian’s voice cracked slightly despite his best efforts to seem strong.

You took a shaky breath. “I don’t know what else to say,” you admitted, lamely.

“How about, ‘I love you too?’”

You let the sentence form on your tongue. It rolled around in the back of your throat like a marble. But you couldn’t speak it. It couldn’t fall from your lips.

Brian ran a hand down his face. “I knew it. I fucking knew it,” he grumbled. “What were you playing at?” he spoke clearly again, making sure you felt every jab of his words. “Why did you pick me out of everyone in the band? What, was Roger too easy? Was Freddie too smart?”

“Brian, stop it!” you begged. “How could you even think something like that?”

“What else can I think? You have every fucking part of me, and you’ve given me nothing in return!” The hurt in Brian’s eyes was palpable and shot like a rocket, straight to your heart. “All I want is for you to be mine. To go back home after a long tour and have you by my side. To wake up next to you and go to sleep next to you. Take you out on proper dates. Fight over whose turn it is to cook dinner or do laundry. Have you meet my parents. Show you where I grew up. It’s all I can think about, being with you for real.”  

You could feel blood rushing to your head. Where was all of this coming from? “Then what?” you asked harshly. “Marriage? Babies? Eventually leaving me behind while you go on tour and find another girl in every city, just like you found me? Is that really what you want for us??”

Now it was Brian’s turn to be gob smacked. “Y/N… I wouldn’t. I would never,” he said softly.

“And it’s not even that,” you shook your head. “I don’t know if I even want to get married or have kids. I don’t want to be locked down before I even figure out what I want!”

“You think I’m going to lock you down?” Brian said incredulously. “Would being with me really be so bad?”

“No, Brian, I-”

“So then what’s the problem??”

“Because I don’t know if I want to be with you! I don’t know if I want to be with ANYBODY!” you ran a hand through your hair. “I happen to love my life just as it is, and I don’t see any reason to change it or apologize for my choices. Least of all to you.”

You watched Brian’s expression morph from pain back to anger. “What are you going to do if I leave right now?” he snarled. “What if I walk away and just leave you here?”

“I don’t care what you do, because I’M NOT YOURS, BRIAN!”

That was it. Brian spun on his heels and stalked away from you, seemingly ignoring the, “Fine, walk away, real fucking mature!” that you threw at him.

Red clouded your vision, and the noise from the party shifted into a dull drone. You felt like you couldn’t even stand anymore, and you stumbled over to the wall, leaning against it and letting your head fall into your hands. What the actual fuck just happened?

“Oi oi!” You pushed a hand through your hair and slowly turned to see Roger coming down the hall from the same door that Brian had walked out of. He was certainly enjoying himself. “There she is, our sweet Peaches.”

Goddamn it. It was like the mere sound of the nickname popped the balloon that your anger had become, and the tears started to spill out of your eyes. “Fight with Loverboy?” Roger asked, clearly trying to do the “cheer the sad girl up” thing and failing.

“Don’t,” you spat out. “Please, Rog, just…”

“Okay, hey, hey,” Roger said softly, bringing you into his chest and rubbing your back. “Easy there, lovey.”

You knew he was just trying to help, but you also knew you couldn’t bear to be around anyone right now. Least of all, one of Brian’s best friends. You let out a huff and balled your hands into Roger’s shirt. “Can you walk me to the elevator?” you muttered into his chest.

“Course,” Roger replied, not letting you go for a second. The feeling of his arm around your shoulders was the only thing that was keeping you grounded as you made your way to the elevator. Roger pushed the “down” button and looked at you, eyes filled with concern. “Do you need me to stay with you?”

You shook your head. “No. I can’t… I can’t be around people right now.”

“Lily, if there’s something Brian did-”

“Don’t be mad at him,” you found yourself saying. “It’s something between the two of us. We’ll handle it.” Your voice actually felt like it was disconnected from your body.

With that, the elevator doors opened and you broke free of Roger’s embrace. You entered the elevator and pressed the button that led to your floor and watched as the elevator doors closed on Roger and the party you thought would be the best night of your life.

Welcome to L fucking A.

[alextriestowritestuff]

Blood Of Olympus Read W/ Me

This was the worst book of the series by far. I almost didn’t finish it. I think my thoughts are going to be rather short but they’ll still be below the cut for spoiler reasons. There will also be Trials of Apollo spoilers so I highly suggest not reading this if you haven’t caught up with those books! Let’s get into it.

I’d like the start by saying what I like: Nico/Reyna POV. I loved their relationship (which I didn’t see coming at all) it was very big sis-little bro vibes. I love that Nico finally found a place and his budding relationship with Will. What’s funny is though I knew Will would be his love interest (You can’t avoid them in fanfic at all) I thought he’d be more like super sunshine/super happy and that would contrast with Nico’s emo nature. But he was just chill and was like Nico, stop being a dumbass, we’re friends. I think fanfic gave me a different impression of what he’d be like (Granted I never read the fics, just summaries) and I was surprised that he was not like that. It’s not bad or good, just pointing it out. 

Oh and Nico telling Percy he liked him and Percy just being like ‘say what?’ I didn’t expect Nico to actually fess up to that one but Percy’s reaction was gold. 

The best moment in this book is Reyna taking down Orion by herself. She was that BITCH. Correct me if I’m wrong but the only other person who defeated a giant by themselves was Percy right? In the Battle of Labyrinth when he fights Antaeus? I think Antaeus was a half-giant though because Percy, a demigod, managed to kill him without the help of a god. Anyway, Reyna was everything in that scene. Oh I lied, he took down Polybotes too. They’d be unstoppable together (though I love Percabeth). She was about to sacrifice herself too!! What a queen. I respect the crap out of her. UM Jason you really picked the wrong girl lmao. 

I appreciated the Thalia cameo (because again, I didn’t re-read the Lost Hero so I haven’t seen her since the last time I read the PJO series) and the mention of Zoe. I hope Kenzie didn’t really die though, I liked her. 

And that’s all the good I have to say about it. Now for the bad...so much bad.

So after thinking about it, I realize that what makes HoO so different from its predecessor series is that there’s no consequences. The closest we got to consequences was Annabeth and Percy falling into Tartarus because they weren’t saved in time. No one important (protagonist/good guys side) died. Leo was resurrected (And I looked it up and found out that he came to Camp in the Trials of Apollo series so everyone knows he’s alive). Even for the Tartarus one, we didn’t even get a PTSD arc. It would’ve been helpful to have Percy or Annabeth’s POV in this book to wrap up that subplot. Instead we get two lines about their time in Tartarus and when Percy brings it up, Annabeth tells him not to mention it. So no PTSD arc. Got it. But we can just casually mention that Octavian committed suicide (which I don’t care for that ending at all).  Right.

The HoO books are boring because there’s no consequences. I never felt true fear apart from Percy/Annabeth being in Tartarus. In the Last Olympian, mortals were put to sleep, Annabeth was gravely injured, Silena and Beckendorf died. Luke and Ethan died. There was no magical save for them. Blood of Olympus had NO stakes, coupled with a weak, slightly developed new characters made it a bad series imo. It also doesn’t deliver on the questions posed in the book.

Hazel’s curse is still active, no descendant of Neptune has taken it away. I read the wiki summary for every book of the Trials of Apollo (The last one isn’t out yet) and there’s no mention of her curse being lifted. I think Frank’s stick is resolved imo being that it’s safe in the fireproof pouch but for some readers, they don’t think that’s resolved. Kym told Percy he’d have to face his fatal flaw. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t feel as though he did. Percy also never helped Leo find Calypso but Ig that’s null because he never got the chance to. Also is Black Jack, Frank’s grandmother, Hylla okay? Orion said Hylla got away but I was hoping for another cameo. 

Let’s talk about the villains/the entire quest of the Seven. The quest was boring, Nico/Reyna/Hedge’s quest was 100x more interesting and they were transporting a freaking statue. The quest of the Seven was fight this minor god/villain who is working for Gaea who promised them something (Even Jason has a line where he makes fun of this), outsmart/fight them, get to Athens where all the monsters are. Percy and Annabeth’s blood awakens Gaea. The gods come down which makes me angry because most of them weren’t helpful throughout the series. Poseidon wasn’t in this series at all. He didn’t even send a symbol or talk to his son who went missing. I’m pissed that the battle against Gaea wasn’t even in Athens! I’m pissed that they got slapped to New York, like what? The gods really couldn’t poof them back there, they gave some excuse but it was still bs. But I guess Rick needed Argo II to get back to NY so Leo can turn festus back into a dragon. But anyway, the gods come down, the demigods work with to defeat the giants in less than two pages. The giants that were poised as a massive threat for four books straight. Defeated in mere minutes. We don’t even get a cool battle description, they just hack and slash at them and they’re dead. Huh? 

Percy, Annabeth, Hazel, and Frank were reduced to background characters and I understand they don’t have a POV but I never felt that characters who didn’t have a POV in a certain book were ever forgotten/not utilized. They didn’t really get to do anything. 

We also don’t really see the Roman and Greek gods all that much. I know they’re the same people, different Greek and Roman personalities. But like I thought their Roman side could be seen a bit more but they were having difficulty maintain one persona throughout the whole series. I can tell you what the Greek gods are like and how they interact w/ each other based on the throne room scenes/anytime they help demigods in PJO/HoO. But Roman gods as whole? I can’t tell you how they even interact with each other. 

But wait, it gets worse. There’s not even a formal recognition thing like there was at the end of the Last Olympian (where Percy is offered godhood and Annabeth is given position of architect) there’s a little meeting with the gods and the Seven in which Jason is like give minor gods shrine and the gods aren’t really all that interested in what he has to say. There’s no thank you demigods. No, thanks Annabeth and Percy for literally going through Tartarus and Hazel for sacrificing yourself at 13 back in the 1940s. And the rest of them sacrificed something too. Like damn, no wonder why Luke was always like the gods don’t care about their kids. 

Gaea was built up to be a big bad (honestly not really, she talked trash the entire time/sent people to do her work) and the woman is easily overpowered by the three demigods. She’s not even awake for 20 minutes and she goes down. WHAT?? 

Overall, it was anti-climatic and totally did a 180 on everything else established in this series-the fact that Gaea was such a major foe and turned out not to be (that SEVEN demigods had to take her down, not just 1 like Percy’s prophecy) and the giants were to be feared too but they get taken down. At 200 pages in, I dead ass wanted to DNF, it was so boring. I gave it a one star because although the good I mentioned was really great, it doesn’t save the book. So for me, this series had every book be 3 stars or under except House of Hades. 5 books and I only really was able to like one and get through it easily and it still had issues. Like what?

Lastly, I want to touch on Jason. I still think he’s bland though I appreciated him giving Nico a hug at the end there. Again from ToA/being spoiled over the years, I learned that Jason died and I won’t be reading ToA but I read the summary of the book where he died and um, wow. I don’t feel anything for his death but the fact that he and Piper broke up sent me into a laughing/anger rage. Laughing because they really said ‘I love you’ at the end of BoO and they didn’t even make it a year lmao. And the fact that PIPER, miss always insecure in her relationship with him, McLean broke up with HIM. WOOOOOW. But it made mad because I listened to her complain/fawn over Jason for 4 freaking books (not counting tSoN) for NO REASON cuz they ended up breaking up. Overall, I appreciated what Jason, Hazel, Frank, and Piper did in the HoO series because they were helpful but I couldn’t connect with their characters. I’ll admit that in BoO we got a little bit more bonding between characters which is what I asked for in my last read with me and I like the Percy/Jason scene underwater and Piper/Annabeth scene from the beginning. I do think some relationships were summarized when they could’ve been shown--i.e. Annabeth/Reyna/Piper friendship but they have potential. 

The bonding was good, it was just too late. It should’ve happened in MoA/HoH as well. Random but I also hate how Leo was treated (esp. by Jason and Piper) throughout the series and I’m glad he got out of that mess. He was reduced to a deus ex mechanic and that wasn’t cool. The Seven wouldn’t have been able to do this quest without him. 

Sooo I guess this is it. I don’t think I’m going to read another Rick Riordan book again unless I hear something drastic happens to Percy or Annabeth/Any of the PJO characters and Reyna. I’m strongly reconsidering removing him as my fav author. I still love the PJO series but this one was not it. I don’t know if Rick was on a tight deadline for these HoO books but it was just poorly executed. I don’t regret reading the series, I think reading HoH was worth all the time I spent reading this series. I wish I had just read a summary of tSoN and MoA, especially because I already read them years ago and knew I wasn’t into them from my first read. I wasted my own time by doing that. So if I had done that I would’ve gotten to just read HoH and then only be disappointed by BoO as opposed to three books. It is what it is. It’s nice to be in the loop because I always see these things about HoO characters and spoilers so now I know how it went down. 

But that’s it guys, thank you for reading this entire thread and the ones before it. I have a lot of opinions and I don’t think I’m in the minority by saying I didn’t like this series overall. I will get back to my writeblr content and I will leave you guys with my final ratings for the series (My rating system may seem generous compared to my read with me thoughts but I personally don’t give less than 3 stars to books that plot wise made sense. It may not be the most compelling plot or have the best characters but if it made coherent sense, I have to give it at least a 3.) :

The Lost Hero: This score is based off of my original reading in 2012/2013 and my thoughts on the main characters in that book, I give this a 3/5 stars

The Son of Neptune: 3/5

The Mark of Athena: 2/5

The House of Hades: 4.5/5

The Blood of Olympus: 2/5 

Worst book of the series: Mark of Athena (Blood Olympus is a close tie but the Nico/Reyna really saves it from this spot) and best book- House of Hades. 

[kenziesodrepoems]

“Are you sure you want to do this? Once it’s done you can’t go back.”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“If I may ask why are you doing this?”

“A month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We had dated for 3 years. He was my best friend in the whole world. When he broke my heart something inside of me has never been the same. Even my soul aches for his presence that’s how I learned soulmates really did exist. I can’t explain a world without him. I don’t want to live in a world where we once loved each other. I want to forget he ever existed.”

“Oh dear, I am sorry. We see many people come here for the same reason. The serum is now ready. You might feel a little tingling but that’s normal.”

She injects the serum into my iv. The look on my face she can tell it’s working. The next thing I know I’m waking up on somewhat of a hospital bed where white walls consume me with no artwork. The doctor walks through the door.

“You decided to erase some memories from your mind you no longer wanted there. How do you feel?” 

“Besides my head spinning a little I honestly feel great like I’ve won a war that I’ve been fighting for quite some time against my mind and my heart.” She smiles at this probably feeling proud and successful. 1 year later.  It’s the year 2092. The summer breeze runs through my long hair and I’m siting on the edge of my favourite rooftop watching the lonely sun go to sleep. I hear someone climbing up the ladder. I start to panic because well technically I’m not suppose to be up here. But I have no where to go so it’s pointless to escape. I just stay where I am. All of the sudden a young man appears with brown hair and light green grizzling eyes. He is a little over six feet tall and I must admit he’s quite handsome. He gives me the biggest smile and my soul feels all warm.

“There you are. I knew you would be here.”

But my memory fails me.

“Sorry, do I know you?”

He looks confused then laughs a little. 

“Nice try. I know you could never forget me. I have been looking for you everywhere. I haven’t seen you at any of our favorite places for the last year, you got a new number, deleted all your social media and moved apartments. I’ve literally been trying to find you for the last year.”

Now I was confused. “Look you seem like a nice guy but I really don’t know you. Can you please leave? I like to be alone up here.”

I can see on his face he’s processing millions of data all at once. He murmurs, “You didn’t.” 

“What?”

“You erased me from your memory? How could you do that?”

It clicks in my head now that he is the memories I had erased and changed my whole life for. The guy sitting right in front of me. Suddenly I feel sick.

“How can you not remember us? What we had together? How could you want to erase me?”

He comes closer and my heart can’t breathe.

“I have been looking for you and have wanted to tell you I made the biggest mistake of my life ever letting you go. I had wished, prayed and hoped you would be here today because this was always our favourite spot. I woke up this morning and something just told me you would be here. I have missed you every day.”

I look at him emotionless,  “If you really did love me the girl you loved is gone. She doesn’t exist anymore. However you broke my heart it did enough damage where I had to erase you just to live.” 

He begins to cry and I don’t know what to do. 

“You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I can’t believe I broke every piece of you that you had to erase me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I let you the girl of my dreams go and we’re going to fix this. I am going to find a way to help you remember me even if it takes a lifetime.”

**end of story ** - if you had the chance to erase someone from your memory would you?

- short story by kenzie sodré / 04.05.2020

[mediocracy-at-best]

the first thing i have to say is- i have a friend named kenzie. we started out by knowing each other from tomato patch (a theatre summer camp which btw is so fun). then we hung out outside of it and had a thing. it didn’t really work out so we became friends and now she’s one of my best friends in the world. her mind works in crazy ways that amaze me and she is so smart and cares so deeply about all of her friends. not to mention she’s the ceo of having a pHAT ass. i feel like i don’t give her enough credit (or anyone really) for how amazing she is bc she’s literally one of a kind, i’ve never met anyone like her before. so shout out to you kenzie ur THAT bitch i miss you

[let-it-raines]

Hi! So, I just saw an interview to Kit Harington from GOT, and he's got the most ridiculous moustache because of some proyect that he's filming or something. Can I request a one-shot in the BotB universe where Killian has some ugly/funny/ridiculous hairstyle or beard or moustache for one of his movies and Emma can't have sex with him or just simply look at him without laughging? And the talk shows' people find about it and ask about it in every interview or something. Thank you!

Hi, nonnie! I’ve been saving your ask for awhile now (I had to finish the story first), and I’m too thrilled to get to answer it now! And to the others who have sent me Betting on the Bullseye prompts, I’m working on them ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

He settles down in the bed, pulling the covers up over his shoulders and inching closer to Emma until he can get one arm slung over her waist and the other underneath the pillow, his chin on her shoulder and her feet tucked between his calves. Her moving her feet is how he knows that there’s still some kind of consciousness left in her and that she’s not dead to the world as she slumbers.

“You smell good,” she mumbles, and he smiles at that, spreading his hand out across the width of her stomach and tapping his fingers against her skin as he nuzzles further into her.

Working these long days on set has been killing him physically, but mostly it’s been killing him emotionally as he’s away from Emma and McKenzie, only really seeing Emma on the rare occasions that he’s home in time for her to go to sleep. He’s thankful that he’s shooting in LA so that they’re not far apart distance wise, but it doesn’t feel that way sometimes when he only sees his wife when she’s asleep and only sees his baby girl when she’s in that post-nap phase where she could care less that Daddy is home and all she wants to do is play with her toys. The ache he feels missing them almost reminds him of being away filming during the early stages of Emma’s pregnancy with his Kenzie girl, but that may have been far worse as he very literally couldn’t be there to hold her when she was suffering through nausea and fatigue.

At least he can hold her for all of that now even when he’s not around as often.

“It’s my aftershave,” he whispers in response, turning his head and kissing just below her ear, pressing his nose into her skin as he works at the skin there, listening to the little moan Emma elicits. God, he loves that. “The one you bought me for my birthday. Good to know that you – ”

Emma very suddenly twists in his arms, kneeing him in the stomach and kicking at his calves as she lands on his hand and is staring at him with their noses less than an inch apart, her lips parted and eyes widened with her brows raised.

“What the hell happened to you face?”

He recoils is head, furrowing his own brows while he looks into her eyes and tries to understand just what about his face has her so shocked. Is he bleeding and hasn’t realized it? Did he nick himself shaving? Is he getting a black eye from filming? Did he get hit without noticing?

“What do you mean, love?” he questions, pulling his hand out from underneath her to grab onto her waist, squeezing her hip as Emma’s hand rises to touch his cheek.

“You shaved, KJ,” she whispers, almost as if she can’t accept the words she’s saying.

“Aye, I know. I shave all of the time.”

“But, babe,” she continues, her fingers moving up and down his cheek, seemingly unable to stop touching him everywhere that she can get her hands on, not that he would ever mind that, “you never shave all of the hair on your face off. You just trim your scruff. It’s so…”

“Handsome? Dashing? So attractive that you simply have to kiss me right now?”

“Smooth,” Emma says instead, her brows pressing together as she concentrates on the movements of her hands. “It’s like baby skin but still the tiniest bit prickly.”

“Funny, that’s what I say about you.”

“Shut up, you idiot.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“I really am.”

“And forever the most humble and kind woman on the planet.”

“I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You never do.”

“Gah,” Emma groans, running her entire palm over his cheek while he slowly pulls her closer to him, their hips nearly touching, “this is so weird. I’ve never seen you with no facial hair. I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“Well, I’d hope that you do still find me handsome. I’d hate to think a movie role is what’s going to break apart our marriage.”

“I know. I always thought it was going to be a mid-life crisis where you go out and spend all of our money on a new boat or something.”

“That could still happen.”

“Could it?”

“Yeah, I’m only thirty-seven. Still plenty of time for me to spend McKenzie’s and baby Jones’s university fund.”

“All over some facial hair,” Emma sighs, leaning in to gently slide her soft lips over his, seemingly happy to linger there instead of moving. But then she does, encouraging him to open his lips with a flick of her tongue a little pressure from her lips as he forgets about everything but Emma and how she feels with her body against his and her lips effortlessly moving while she lets out this little gasp that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. He doesn’t really want to when she makes the most glorious sounds that only he elicits from her. He’s about to fully tangle his tongue with hers and press her body down into the mattress, but then Emma’s trailing her mouth away from his lips and across his cheek and his jaw, rubbing her nose into his skin. “It’s like I’m kissing a different man.”

“People are always telling me to help keep the spark alive with things like that.”

Emma giggles into his cheek before he gently nudges her down onto her back, placing his knees on either side of her thighs to keep himself from weighing down on the small curve of her stomach as he slowly, leisurely, desperately melds their lips together. God, he misses her so much, and after this baby is born in six months, he’s not working for a solid year so he can spend time with his wife and his children. He doesn’t have any other commitments, and he plans on keeping it that way.

“I don’t think that’s what they meant.”

“Probably not,” he hums, nipping at the dip in her skin just above the collarbone. She smells of vanilla strongly enough that she must have taken a bath just before he got home. Or maybe Kenzie got her wet when she was trying to give her a bath before bedtime. He misses bath time. In the morning he’s going to get Kenzie to take an extra one so he can watch her giggles as they play with the letters that stick to the tub wall. “But I know that I romance you well enough to not need advice from others.”

“Can you use romance as a verb like that?” she asks on a gasp of broken air as her hips push up into his and her hands start running up and down his arms, staying at his biceps while he teases her skin.

“Does it matter?”

“Only for – ah – for future reference.”

“Well, I say that you can,” he murmurs into her skin before he starts working his way down her body, slowly pushing away clothes to kiss the tops of her breasts and her nipples, biting and teasing and driving her wild all the while she whimpers and moans and encourages him to keep doing exactly what he’s doing.

When he makes his way down to her thighs, having taken her pajama pants off, he’s just about to work his way past her underwear when he hears another giggle that he knows has nothing to do with the way that he’s kissing her. He ignores it, nudging his nose into her skin just above where he knows that she wants him when he hears it again, this time a little louder and more insistent as Emma’s legs close in a little on him.

“Darling?” he questions, poking his head up to look at her over the very slight swell of her stomach. He can’t see her face as it’s twisted to the side and into a white pillow case, but he can see her shaking from laughter. “Emma, love, I know I’m a confident man, but I can only take so much of my wife laughing at me when I’m about to have sex with her.”

“It’s y-your…it’s your face,” she sputters out before falling back to the pillow.

“That doesn’t make it any better.”

“Oh, KJ, that’s not what I mean,” she insists, propping herself up on her elbows while he starts moving away from the crevice of her thighs, his ego a little bruised even as he moves back up her body, trailing his lips and his teeth up her stomach and sternum and down her arm until he’s planting a kiss against the little MJ inked into her skin where the dot used to be. They’ll both have to get another one soon whenever they decide on a name for this baby.

He still wants to get Emma’s name somewhere, but he hasn’t decided where yet. They’re not going to have any more children after this, so he doesn’t have to worry about needing a place for a third initial for a child. He’s thinking he might get their wedding date tattooed around his ring finger for when he has to take his ring off for work even if it’ll have to be covered in makeup every day. He’ll know it’s there.

That’s really not the point right now, though. Emma laughing at him for no apparent reason when he was primed to do his best work is, however, is most definitely the point.

Falling back against the pillow himself, he stretches his arms and legs out, trying to cool the heated blood in his veins down as he takes several deep breaths, Emma still laughing beside him. What the hell is happening?

“What do you mean?” he growls, likely a little more agitated than he should be.

“I – okay, it’s going to sound stupid,” Emma says more quietly as she moves around on the bed until she’s sitting next to him and looking down at him with a soft smile on her face and her hair matted up in a way that makes her look like McKenzie when she wakes up from a long nap. He’d love baby Jones to be a boy, but he thinks he might like another girl too so that he can have all of his girls.

Really, though, he simply wants the little lad or lass to be healthy. That’s all that matters. That’s always what’s mattered.

“But?” he encourages, taking her hand in his and twining their fingers together despite him being a little annoyed with her.

“Your face is really smooth, babe. Like, it kind of feels like when I’ve just shaved my legs, so when you’re kissing my thighs, that’s kind of what it feels like and I can’t – I can’t stop laughing at it. It kind of tickles to be honest, which is totally the opposite of how it should be. I’m just really used to you going down on me and feeling your scruff.”

He sighs before he laughs himself, unable to stop as he shakes his head from side to side, disbelief at this woman never ceasing. He seems to remember her once saying her legs felt like a dolphin when she shaved. Maybe that’s what his face feels like to her, and it’s too foreign of a feeling. “You’re telling me you can’t have sex with me because of my face.”

She raises a brow. “Am I allowed to make a joke here or not? Because you totally set yourself up for that one.”

He reaches over and pinches her leg, watching her squirm and settle back down next to him so that their intertwined hands rest on his chest while his free arm wraps around her shoulder. “I did set myself up for that one despite knowing better.”

“Mhm,” Emma agrees, adjusting her head and her legs until she’s comfortable and totally intertwined with him, just not in the way he thought they would be. “I love you. I do. And I love your face no matter how it looks, but I have known you for five years and never once experienced you with a totally clean shaven face. It’d be like if one day I showed up as a brunette.”

“That’d be hot.”

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“I do, I do.” He turns his head to the side and kisses her temple, purposefully rubbing his chin into her skin. “You know, just because my face is different doesn’t mean my tongue works any differently.”

“Later,” she yawns, running her foot up and down his calf in a way that is not at all helping the situation. “I just got really tired.”

“Did you nap today?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“Emma.”

“I know, but I got home from work and Kenzie was super whiny about everything and the nap didn’t happen. I was in bed by nine, though, and then you came home and I got all distracted by that handsome face of yours.”

He smiles into her hair and shifts a bit under her weight, running his hand up and down her arm. “You’ve got a bit of a Russian nesting doll situation happening. You need your sleep.”

“A Russian doll situation?”

“Yeah, like the dolls where you – ”

“I know what they are. Are you saying that’s what pregnancy is like?”

“Isn’t it?”

Emma laughs and shakes her head. “If only I gave birth as easily as those things come apart.”

“Now that would be a sight.”

“A really creepy one. Kind of like your face right now.”

“Sleep, love,” he chuckles. “You can make fun of me some more in the morning.”

“Sounds like a plan, Stan.”

She doesn’t make fun of him the next morning, and he mostly thinks it’s because they don’t get a lot of time together before he has to go to set. Mckenzie wakes up a little before six, the monitor they have in their room going off for her, and instead of staying in bed and waiting for her to go back to sleep, he slowly unwraps himself from Emma and heads down the hall to his daughter’s room, picking her up and holding onto her as she babbles to him. She’s got quite a few words down now, and for a sixteen-month-old, he thinks she’s doing pretty well. She’s happy and healthy, and even if he doesn’t get to do bath time with her, they do spend a little more time together than they’ve been getting, Emma eventually coming down the stairs with her pajamas still rumpled up.

But then he’s off to work, and it’s the same routine over and over again for the next month.

He thinks that Emma gets used to his lack of beard of his face, no longer giggling uncontrollably when he tries to romance her, but when the time comes for him to start growing in his sideburns and mustache, he braces himself for her to hate it.

But she doesn’t.

Mostly because she doesn’t notice.

He knows that Emma is busy with work and with balancing a million things on one very small plate, but for the fuss that was made about his clean shaven face, he really did think that she’d notice he was growing a handlebar mustache and some seriously thick sideburns for his movie. The seventies were an odd time, and he cannot wait to be able to shave all of this off and grow back his normal facial hair.

Seriously.

But he’d also kind of like Emma to notice.

He knows the exact moment she does. They’re sitting on the beach with Kenzie, trying to keep her from stuffing sand into her mouth because that’s the phase they’re going through with her, when Emma’s gaze lands on his and her lips part and brows rise high on her forehead, eyes most likely widened under her sunglasses.

“What is happening with your face right now?”

“Darling, no offense, but I’m beginning to think you don’t pay attention to what happens with my face since you are continuously shocked by these changes.”

“I swear I look at you and pay attention to you, but I don’t…no, no, Kenzie,” she sighs, getting up from the towels and reaching to grab their daughter and pull her back to them. “We don’t eat sand.”

“Yummy.”

“You’re such an odd child, little love,” he chuckles, reaching forward to tickle her stomach until she dissolves into a fit of giggles, “but we don’t eat sand. It hurts our tummies.”

“It yummy,” she repeats.

“No, it’s not,” Emma sighs, resting McKenzie on her thigh and tickling her hands across her stomach to make her laugh. “KJ, I really don’t think I noticed the mustache.”

“What about the sideburns?”

“There are sideburns?” she laughs, placing her hand in front of her mouth in a pathetic attempt to cover up her giggles. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I – I shouldn’t…Killian, how long are you going to be sporting this kind of facial hair?”

“At least two more months.”

“Okay, okay,” she nods, her eyes most likely shining under her sunglasses, “I can deal with that. It’s just going to take some getting used to. If anyone can pull off this look, I have faith that it’s you.”

“Thank you, love,” he smiles, a little at Emma but mostly to himself at how much Emma’s affected by his changing facial hair. He knows she would never love him any less no matter what he looks like. It’s simply amusing to see how she takes the changes. “Alright, Kenzie, let’s put on your floaties so we can go out in the water and look for fish.”

Their life goes on, Emma’s stomach and his facial hair growing every day, and while he appreciates the roundness of Emma’s stomach and the growth in her breasts as their son (that’s right – they’re having a boy!) grows healthily within her, Emma does not seem to appreciate his facial hair. Nothing really changes with them. If there’s one thing he’s come to appreciate about his marriage – and really there are far too many to count – it’s that while he and Emma do get into disagreements, they’re a team who laughs together. She makes him laugh more than anyone just as he does to her, and no matter where they are or what they’re doing, they always have that playfulness that comes with being so comfortable with someone. It’s special, what they have, and he never wants a day to come where Emma doesn’t laugh at least once a day.

But the fact that she’s started laughing during sex (more so than usual, really since the two of them definitely aren’t the type of people where it’s always serious. Where’s the fun in that?) when she gets a good look at his face is definitely not what he was expecting. He doesn’t mind. He laughs too. His appearance isn’t what it usually is and sometimes when he gets a good luck at himself in the mirror, he can’t help it either. But it becomes this constant, consistent thing that he grows used to, and even if some people think that it’s a bit harsh, he’s forever charmed by his wife.

When filming is over, he gets to shave, his face returning to almost normal, and when he and Emma celebrate the night after filming is finished, Emma carefully situates herself on his thighs to help with her stomach as she runs her lips over his jaw.

“I kind of miss it,” she lets out on an exhale as she sinks down onto him, her walls enveloping him in all of their goodness, the slick warmth nearly driving him into the madness that it always does.

“My darling, we slept together four days ago. I don’t think you missed my cock too much.”

“Sometimes you shouldn’t say the things you think,” she giggles into his neck while his hands find her hips to help guide her a bit.

He waggles his brows even if she can’t see them with her head resting on his shoulder like it is. “We were both thinking that.”

“I was actually thinking about your mustache.”

“Emma,” he gasps, sliding his hand down to rest at her ass, squeezing the slightest bit, “you miss my mustache? You hated that thing.”

“It grew on me.”

“Technically it grew on me.”

“Your jokes have become so much worse since becoming a dad.”

“I have a reputation to uphold for all other dads when it comes to telling dad jokes.”

She hums, swiveling her hips a little bit more and making him nearly lose himself right there. “You do have a reputation to uphold. I’d hate to make someone think that you weren’t keeping up with your quota of dad jokes.”

“Next thing you know they’ll find out I haven’t been wearing the cargo shorts.”

“Killian, my love,” Emma says very seriously, pulling back from his neck so she can cup his cheeks while her hips do something indecent to him, “I will accept the mustache, but I will not accept the cargo shorts.”

-/-

Six months later his beard is back to its normal length and shape, has been for awhile now, and he’s on James Cordon to promote his movie. It’s the last piece of work that he has to do before he can finally take a break to be with Emma and the kids without any work interruption, and as fun as this is, he cannot wait to go home in two hours.

“So you know I have to ask,” James starts from behind his desk while Killian smiles, wishing the lights weren’t quite so bright as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear, “about your wife, your family. It’s a bit of a tradition with my producer threatening me if I don’t.”

“Well, what does she threaten you with?”

“I’ve signed an NDA and can’t tell you that.” He laughs and nods his head, waiting for the words he knows are coming. “So, I love your wife. She’s a sweetheart, but there’s a rumor making its way through the Hollywood grapevine that your facial hair in your latest movie caused a bit of an issue in your marriage.” Killian rolls his eyes and leans down to bury his face in his hands before peeking through his fingers, wondering if this story is ever going to go away. “Would you like to expand on it a bit?”

“Would I like to?” he laughs, sitting up against the couch and pushing his hair back while he smiles. “No, likely not, but I will. So I was out to eat lunch with my brother. We were chatting. It was all fine, and I, being an idiot and forgetting that people care about things that I say, was telling him that my wife found my moustache and sideburns to be quite a…she couldn’t stop laughing at me. Like, she’d look at my face and bust out laughing, and it’d get particularly bad when we were having private time.”

“When you were fucking?”

“Oh hell,” he chuckles, his laugh mixing in with the audience as they play the fake censorship bleep over the speakers since that’ll have to be censored later. “Pretty much, yes. Sometimes she couldn’t help herself and would laugh until she couldn’t breathe, completely taking us out of the moment because then I’d start laughing too.”

“Really?” James hiccups as he laughs too, leaning forward on the desk. “It didn’t hurt your pride?”

“No. Emma, you have to understand that Emma is the funniest person I know. Far funnier than me, and we’re always laughing. Usually not at each other’s faces, but we’re always laughing. I looked ridiculous for a really long time, and honestly, I’d keep that damn mustache for the rest of my life as long as it makes her laugh.”

“But at what cost to your sex life?”

“Well, we just had a little boy, so I think things are still looking up there.”

He finishes the interview, his face hurting from laughter as they thankfully move away from his personal life and onto other things, and when he and Emma settle down to watch the interview that night, at her insistence of course, she laughs throughout the entire thing, their bedroom filled with the melodious sound he’ll never tire of.

“KJ,” she giggles, peppering kisses all over his face, “I love you and your face always.”

Seeing this tiny, sarcastic, fun-loving woman smile or laugh or cuddle with their children or light up like a constellation in the sky gives him life and reminds him of just how much he loves her and her face always.

Though, Emma with a mustache and sideburns would be quite the sight to behold.

[horrorfilmadddict]

Anyway, here I am really bothering you and not leaving you alone, aren’t I?

I wrote you this letter from the bottom of my heart. I hope you have the patience to read it, sorry it’s long. Anyway I hope you look back on this letter and know my intent was pure and with love. Tell you what I really feel. What my heart tells me.

Dear Sue,

I write you because hell, might as well put my thoughts to “paper”. No one knows about this page except you.

Sooooo when it comes to us, or just women, the way it goes after you get dumped or put down is

I shouldn’t care anymore, right?

I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable if you have moved on from me. It’s just you have to empathize with me. My heart was ripped out of me.

I wonder how you’re doing, do you miss me as much as I miss you. Do you still think about us, the butterflies, Do you still want me as your man, haha stupid questions I know. Ive been getting by with henny and romantic comedies haha but hey again the whole us blowing up was my fault. I do hope you’re doing ok mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Truly I do wish for your well being. I’m just relieved I didn’t break your heart, again, better me than you.

I miss my dream catcher, it hurt like hell giving it back and the Disney tickets. I didn’t do it to hurt you, just spare myself of seeing them and thinking of you. You once or maybe several times, told me you always think of me. And now You really do cross my mind a thousand times. But anywho I hope my t shirts get put to use btw not as cloth rags 😂😅, along with my hoodie. Better uses than my birthday gifts, little mike, red bag and all, pennywise, alll in the back of a car, hidden in shame or just not treated kindly in my opinion.

I feel what drove you to end us was me not paying attention to the anger issues. Me, making excuses would say, you should’ve sat me down and stressed the danger of pushing you away, causing you to do some fucked up shit. But I was dealt Karma. I am a hypocrite to complain, since I did the same to you but I hope the caring you will see what massive effect your decisions made.

I also see that you dealt with a lot of internal conflict, feeling like I’d only want to change when you’d be leaving. I didn’t mean to make it seem like you were stuck in a bad never ending circle, i did make it feel that way, nothing hurts more to see someone you love do that to you. Again another mistake on my part of not realizing you were leaving, hurtin due to that type of attitude and behavior that came from me.

You are such a big positive force in my life. You are. Which is why I made bucca a big deal, I know it was extremely unfair since it was my fault we couldn’t hang long but thinking back you probably didn’t say yes to being my girl because you already were someone else’s, that kills me, that’s why I felt so betrayed by you. I mean I was in shock, just thinking why would you do this to me, pretty traumatizing. I feel your emotionally unavailable stuff was all a fat lie. It’s killing me inside why you didn’t just sit me down like a human being and talk to me.

Nonetheless you’re a special beautiful woman that I love for her smile, her jokes, her dorkiness, ability to no matter what is going on, be worried about me, how I was doing, feeling, no matter what troubles you were going thru. One of my favorite things about you is your ability to sing, that truly melted me, the idea of riding in the car with you and singing, expressing ourselves through music. I really did drop the ball with you, I have to live with that, the reason why I’ll hold on to you for as long as I can is because of what you mean to me now. However I do know Eventually emotions fade and memories with them so eventually we will truly fade away. If you haven’t already.

But still this was out of left field. You are a sweet heart and I think you already know that. You’re ability to stand by ppl you love, obviously not me 😅but the way you stand by Ana as her support even if she doesn’t match your love for her, she does love you and I pray she does come around because man she’d take a fat L losing you, or with Emily, the way you spend quality time with her as your friend. Little things that have big meaning and are easily overlooked. But yet you find ways to make ppl feel special before yourself.

You are an amazing, beautiful woman and I mean it. The sooner you see it, the sooner it will help you feel like you should be happy to be who you are.

Ever since that day I have been at a loss for words. You’d probably say it’s dramatic but I’m living with a void in me. What happened? When did I lose you, I guess that’s the point of feelings huh, you don’t see them coming. I had no chance to fight for you this last time. In a way I hope the time away from me, really really clears your mind and heart so you can see if you really did love me, and maybe you have a good good explanation for yourself as to why you did what you did even though not two weeks before had you said “ i hope you still love me” “te amo”. You can lie to me. But not yourself. For me as much as it hurts to think of you not choosing me, that’s what happened. And if hes what you truly want, I can live with that.

I often think about all the times I’d ask you are you sure you still want this. And I break down mentally just trying to find out why you’d say yes but then play me. Don’t get me wrong It was a lot of work to work on us with me however I feel I was on the verge of getting that down, like I understand it was far from perfect but did I make you feel loved I wonder. Probably fucked up too much for you to say yes.

I was only about you whether I was upset or not. I thought I was mending all that tbh. Somewhere along the way your words really had me thinking I was loved like I never have been but your heart was wanting another at the same time. Haha I’m all worked up because of what I thought I meant in your eyes. It really was like hey you’re enough and I want this to work. And so I took ALL you said to me to heart. Which made the heartbreak that much more painful, I’m glad I didn’t do that to you because, the guilt would kill me, what I did with Daria and you still does. I still have the crying clip of you, after I left bby.

I wish you’d talk to me about it, I really do, for you to just show respect for what was there, for your words of I love you, cariño, Habibi, that you said to me. Honor their memory just give me true closure. I can leave you alone, never speak to you again. Drop off a map and disappear you’d literally never hear from me again if that’s what you really prefer. But if not and communicating was an option, I’d want to know where I lost you. If it makes you feel a tad better I feel once it sinks in that you are gone, and the emotions and memories fade, I will truly leave, disappear to become an insignificant memory by my own action just to give you peace, ya know. Do right by you for once.

But for as long as the emotions and memories last in your heart I’ll take pride and hope the sunflower really sticks, it’s a symbol, a memory. Every time the song comes out I do think about you, makes me wish I was miles and youd be my white girl, mi hermosa guerita. Sounds juvenile but I really was excited to teach you more Spanish for when you’d meet my family. How sweet, a thought. Those are priceless. Hope the song brings you positivity on your path. You’ll go far with make up and doing hair. I still think youd make a great YouTube horror movie channel host.

I do love you, make no mistake about that. I will for as long as that fire burns.

As cheesy as it is, you made me feel like the hero or the lucky guy who gets the girl like miles here. I believe in my heart I coulda done amazing by you, I know a version of me has to be out there In an alternate reality where my dumbass got things right, fuck this sucks, for me of course lmao 😂 you do seem to be doing fine and I’m thankful that you’re loved and still loving someone, it’s a special gift. Just make sure you never use I love you carelessly like with me.

If I had the chance to do it over again I would, never hurt you and let your love complete me, help me feel not alone.

Ps: the app shows my edit in a better way

You changed my life for the better by showing me what a woman is capable of, what you bring to those you love. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say my guard is fully up yet again and I’m afraid haha afraid to let anyone, ANYONE in. I thought I was safe with you...

You’re with me in my heart. lol kinda sounds like Tarzan huh

Well uhhh gtg 👋🏽

*g lock handshake

I really am sad and sorry we just ended the way we did, no talking, no hugs, no last kiss. I miss you Habibi, I do. You were my Disney princess. 🌻

Well with that long ass letter, I leave you here. Probably, it seems for good , soon I’ll delete my social media and I’ve already started looking for another job. So while my heart will be spoken for as long as it chooses you, I won’t be around anymore, too painful and this is the first time I’ve had my heart broken, like truly.

So,

Kenzy Sue Schumacher

ich liebe dich

Quizás en otra vida

Love,

Your cariño

Ps: Someone actually read the entire thing and liked it lol hashtags huh

[loverholicrobotronic]

☕️ the whole sm ent

Theres so much to say here i dont know how to go on about this with pretending i know what im talking about.... Musically the absolute best like there are groups with extremely good discographies under other labels but no other label can compete as a whole. Its entertaining how they go through collective phases and set the trend of the season for the rest of the industry like in 2009 it was alternative electro rock and around 2015 house electropop and so on and throughout the year all of groups' comebacks are fairly cohesive among each other not just the sister groups which is... so pleasant and unmatched. I dont know who coaches trainees vocally but theyre literally the backbone of the company they granted them their collective trademark singing technique with the subtle vibrato the breathy singing. Dancing coach.... not so much like do better (apart from nct who are all pretty solid dancers). They have some absolutely iconic soloists on top of all the group members we know and love. Other than the idols we know they have amazing artists signed like Kenzie is the real money maker every other sm hit song has her name on it idols go up to her say 2 words then she has the song ready no matter what they want like she wrote Stranger, Shift, All Day All Night, Sexuality, At Gwanghwamun, La Cha Ta, Red Flavour what is a genre of predilection? For the amazing always new concert performances especially shinee's taemin's and nct's on top of some iconic choreos like Replay love like oxygen lucifer hot summer rookie etc... you can thank miss Rino Nakasone. Like its not just the celebrities all the artists under sm are distinguished. I also like that theyre one of few companies who dont prohibit dating (actually i think theyre too enthusiastic to confirm their celebrities dating rumours but anyways) but i think something about the directors not changing for decades allows them to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Like first you have Big Infinite Boy Group Super Never Ending wow.... you have the obsession with having a breakthrough in the chinese market so they keep taking in chinese trainees and debuting chinese subunits while being xenophobic and mistreating chinese artists and them eyeing china this much doesnt even make sense when they could be more invested in japan where people actually love their work.... how girl groups so blatantly get less attention and credit than boygroups... when they force these personas on performers who clearly dont want it..... inconsistent content output though personally i dont think its much of a problem (except for f(x) where it's just getting ridiculous) ..... giving even more opportunities to members that are already disproportionately more popular than their teammates instead of letting lesser known, very talented members shine like luna or taeil.... and on that note the promoting. I dont really understand this whole bit just yet but when you see less popular groups' mediocre passable at best comeback do better than an incredibly good sm comeback its so confusing. They have this whole thing where they will promote a group well in their first few years until they get a steady fanbase then leave them fend for themselves and its so frustrating like... arent you interested in reaching their maximum potential? Dont you want their fanbase to carry on exponentially growing instead of just barely? I dont understand. Like i see a song from a jyp or a yg group its unbearable its pollution you literally cannot listen to it and its everywhere you cant miss it and it does so well and an sm group or soloist comes out with a top notch all around work piece nowhere to be seen maybe twice in the following promotions... how can you allow this. On top of that from what ive seen their contracts are so ugly... sometimes they take some big risks like the sm the ballad or sm the performance units or more recently this super m hybrid group or when they bought mystic entertainment. When i say risk i mean it has the potential to be a success move!!! And it always is but they never push through with it.

Sm the ballad had 2 albums grand total and they all were amazing and did surprisingly good for albums full of just........Ballads and thats it we never heard of them again for over 5 years. They bought most of mystic's shares and didnt even merge. Like what are you doing. Do you want more success or do you not stop messing around. Im mad now