#kelly really hates john winchester

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

I'm finding the depictions of Dean and Sam parenting of Jack a little… caricatural maybe? With Sam being 100% supportive and Dean acting like John 2.0. This post is not to blame Sam or to pretend Dean acts perfectly, but I find some points are left aside too often.

Cas, about Jack (season 12)

Cas planned to kill Kelly, at first.

Cas (12x19): This has nothing to do with my reputation. I am doing this for the Winchesters. I-I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission and to keep them safe from Dagon, and I– I will kill this girl so that Sam and Dean don't have to.

Dean and Sam know this. They know Cas' plan. They know what Cas did in the past (in particular to Lily Sunders and her daughter) and they try to come with another solution, removing Jack's power so he and his mother can both live.

The first shift about Jack is in episode 12. He uses his powers on Cas and, suddenly, Cas says: "I've been so lost. I'm not lost anymore. And I know now that this child must be born with all of his power. (…) I have faith. We have to go."

Kelly: What did he tell you? Cas: He didn't tell me. He showed me. The future.

Cas (12x23): I saw… I saw the future. I saw a world without pain or hunger or want. I saw the world that this child… that your child… will create. And it is a world without fear and without suffering and without hate. I saw paradise.

(Paradise being

okay, okay, I stop)

This change leads to:

Dean and Jack (end of season 12 and beginning of season 13)

Dean to Cas (12x19): Okay, whatever that thing did to you, we're not just gonna let you walk away.

Dean to Sam (12x20): Okay, so last night…that Super Mario power-up crap? That wasn't Cas. That freaking baby isn't even born yet and it sock puppeted him. Think about it. Cas said that he had faith in Lucifer Jr.? What the hell is that supposed to mean? (…) Seriously I mean up until now if Cas messed up, if he did something wrong, but he thought it was for the right reasons, I got it. Right? But last night, when I looked at him, I did not recognize the guy staring back at me.

And this is Dean who, at this point, saw Cas being mind-controlled by Naomi and used as a vessel by Lucifer. Both times he felt something was off, without quite figuring it out. (He also met Jimmy Novak, Meta!Misha and the Leviathans)

Episode 12x23

Cas: You don't have to worry. The child, he opened this door. He'll close it. Dean: You sure about that? Cas: I have faith. Dean: Really? In your unborn baby-God? Cas: Yes. Dean: Well, then, you're a dumbass.

Dean, to Sam: Yeah. You know, Cas has faith in this kid. (…) I hope he's right. But me? I have faith in us. You, me, Mom, Cas. And Crowley. Sometimes.

Episode 13x01

Dean: No. No, nothin's changed. He's still the Devil's kid. He's still evil. He still brainwashed Kelly and Cas. And even if he hasn't gone Big Bad yet, he will. Sam: You don't know that. Dean: Yeah, I do. 'Cause when have things ever gone right for us? So until I figure out a way to end him, we'll bring him home. At least there, the only people he can hurt are you and me.

Episode 13x02

Sam: Look… losing Mom and Cas, that’s a lot to process, Dean, especially on no sleep. And the kid— Dean: The "kid"? Come on, man, you know how this plays out. Look, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t so bad or that things will get fixed, that’s when people that we care about get hurt. And then we end up doing what we should've done in the first place, which is end the problem. So this time, let's start with the obvious. Soon as I find a way to take care of… It. Sam: Okay, look, yeah, Jack is on Lucifer's family tree. But we don't know if that DNA is stronger than Kelly's, or his connection with Cas. Dean: Oh, you mean the connection that got Cas killed?

Episode 13x03

Dean: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad. (…) Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don't act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we've lost! Sam: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack! Dean: And what about Cas? Sam: What about Cas? Dean: He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, paradise on earth and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can't!

There are two major points straining Dean's beginning of relationship with Jack: what happened to Cas and the Winchesters' past experiences with trying to make exceptions.

And then-

Episode 13x04

Dean: All right, well, you said you wanted to help, so, uh… dig. Sam: Dean, what's up with all the orders? You're starting to sound like Dad. Dean: That a bad thing? Sam: I'm just saying his drill sergeant act worked with you… but it didn't work with me. And that's not the way we're gonna get through to Jack. Dean: Look, you wanted the kid here, he’s here. All right? But I'm not gonna hold his hand and tuck him in at night. Pass. I'm not gonna be his mother, and neither are you. And the kid can dig, so I'll give him that.

Dean: You gotta snap these cuffs. Jack: I can't. Dean: Yes, you can. Sammy believes in you, and when he believes, he'll go Hell for leather…but you gotta try.

Dean, to Jack: You did good today, Jack.

So, Sam compares Dean's behavior to John's and, in the very same episode, Dean starts treating Jack differently. I will not believe the two points aren't connected.

(Not-truly-related-note but I would have liked Dean being able to acknowledge to Sam he didn't think their father perfect and their childhood nice, instead of telling to literally everyone but him :/)

Dean, to Sam: And maybe you're right, about the kid. I mean, he tries. I'll give him that. And he tapped his powers, saved our ass, so that's a win.

(And in the next episode, Dean tries to die, but everyone remembers that.)

Sam and Jack (beginning of season 13)

Sam wasn't only caring about Jack's well-being. He was also interested by what his power could do for him. He doesn't talk about guiding him, but about teaching him and molding him according to his principles.

Episode 13x01

Jack: I don't know why these things happen. It's like I'm me, but… not me. Sam: Jack, look, before you were born, you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? Jack: Yes. Sam: Okay, could you do that again?

Sam, to Dean: Jack is not evil. He—he—he's just a kid. (…) We need him.

Sam: You wanna say anything? Jack: I… What do you say? Sam: Right. Thank you. You say thank you. And you say you're sorry. You hope they're somewhere without sadness or pain. You hope they're somewhere better. You say goodbye.

(The 'you say you're sorry' imply some guilt)

Episode 13x02

Sam: Dean, "the problem" might be our only shot at saving Mom.

Sam: So, Jack, we know Kelly taught you things before you were born. And obviously, you can, you know, make people or things move with your mind. But, what else can you do? Jack: I don't know. Sam: Okay. For instance, say you wanted to be someplace else right now. Could you?

Sam: Dean, whatever his powers are or will be… if we train him properly, they could be used for good.

Sam: I'm just saying, Jack doesn't have to be evil. We can teach him not to be.

Sam: I'll tell you what. You got some special skills, Jack. That's for sure. We just need to make sure we get a grip on them, so… so you don't hurt anybody. (…) And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you. Jack: Maybe I'm not worth all this. Sam : Your mom thought you were. So did Cas. So do I.

Sam: He seems to have a real attachment to his mom, but only kinda a fuzzy idea about his dad. And his mom, Kelly, was a really good person, so that makes me think Jack can be molded the right way. Asmodeus: Mm, molded. I hope you're right.

(And a little parallel with Asmodeus' intentions)

Episode 13x03

Sam: Dean, we need him. (…) Mom…

Jack: Train me. To what? Sam: I've seen what you can do, Jack. You're powerful, but you have to learn to control it. You know, to focus. Jack: So I don't hurt anyone, anymore. Sam: Exactly. See this pencil? I want you to move it. With your mind.

(Another emphasis on Jack's possibility of turning wrong.)

Jack: I can't. Nothing. I'm useless. Sam: Alright. Jack, when you did use your powers, what was it like? Jack: I don't… It was like, breathing, blinking. It just happens. Sam: Even with Asmodeus, that just happened? Jack: No, he made me. It was like, like he was in my head. Sam: Okay, then imagine him doing that. Jack: No! Sam: No? Why not? Jack: Because I don't want to! It's just… I can't do this!

(Which wasn't the most thoughtful, empathic and caring idea)

Sam: Okay, but why is it so hard? I've seen you throw people across the room. I've been thrown across the room by you. I've seen you open a gate to hell and now nothing? It doesn't make any sense.

Sam: I think that, after everything that's happened you're probably scared to use your power, and me pressuring you certainly isn't helping. Jack: Really? Sam: Really. What do you say we call it? Until I figure out a better way. How does that sound?

Episode 13x04

Sam: Jack, I really think this would be good for you. You know, maybe a change of scenery might— Jack: Get my powers working again? Sam: Yeah, maybe. Jack: So I can be your "interdimensional can opener"? You're using me. Sam: Jack… when you were born, it ripped a hole in reality. Like a—like a door from this world to another, to a… a really bad, bad place. So—so Dean and Cas, and I, we—we closed that door. But… our Mom, Mary, she's trapped on the other side. If we can get your powers back, maybe we can open that door up. Maybe… Jack: You wanna save her. Sam: Yeah. Yeah, I do. But… if this doesn't work, if that can't happen, that's okay, because I do care about you. But I should've told you. I'm sorry. It's a lot and, uh… Jack: Dean can't even look at me. He wants to kill me. Sam: I won't let that happen. Listen, if there's one thing that Dean respects, it's effort. So come along. Help us out. Let's go be the good guys.

About Mary's death (seasons 14 and 15)

Episode 14x20

Dean: Sam, I know this isn't easy, okay? He—I know how much he meant to you. He meant a lot to me. He was family. But this? This is not Jack anymore. He's hurting, he's killing people. This isn't gonna be easy, but we're gonna have to do the hard thing. We're gonna have to do the ugly thing. (…) Ain't like it's the first time, though, right?

(Which was basically the whole reason he hadn't wanted to treat Jack as a person in the beginning.)

Dean: He killed our mom. Sam: I get it. I was mad, too. Or you know what? Hell, I'm still mad. And a part of me wants Jack dead. It really does. But, Dean, we haven't even tried to save him.

And, in the end, he wasn't able to kill him.

Episode 15x14

Jack: Do you still think I'm a monster? Dean: Okay, I'm just going to say this, okay? Just get it out there. Jack. I'm trying, okay? I really am. But what you did, that's not easy to forget. Now I was angry with you, for a while. And maybe I still am a little bit, okay? But I'm not gonna let some evil Mary Poppins take you out. Do you understand?

Dean was working on forgiving Jack about Mary's death. I repeat: Dean was working on forgiving Jack about Mary's death. Mary, the only person John loves, the one whose disappearance destroys their family (from Dean's POV). She's supposed to be protected above everything else.

About Cas' and Sam's view of Dean about Jack

Episode 13x04

Jack: Dean can't even look at me. He wants to kill me. Sam: I won't let that happen.

(Great implying Dean would actually kill him.)

But-

Episode 14x20 (after Mary's death)

Cas: You should never have tried to lock him away. Dean: You know what? You're right. I never wanted to put him in that damn box. I wanted him dead. Cas: Dean. Dean: He's dangerous, Cas, and you knew it! You've known it for a long time! But that's okay. You know why? Because me and Sam, we've killed just about everything there is. And this -- Jack -- oh, we'll find a way. Because he's just another monster. Cas: You don't mean that.

Remember that one of them thought the Colt was in the safe while the other knew where the Colt truly was in fact.

[coffincanary]

I hate 14x19 "Jack in the Box" with a passion

Arguably the worst scene in Supernatural was Sam and Dean trying to lock Jack in the Mal'ak Box in 14x19. First of all, it felt deeply ooc for Dean. They've been building up Jack as his essentially adopted son, as a part of the family. Dean being upset about Mary's death is 100% warranted, but literally the main theme of the show is that the Winchesters will go above and beyond to save and protect their family. But Dean wanting to lock Jack in the Mal'ak box, something he had *literal nightmares* about when he considered locking himself in there?

If the plan had been to put Jack in there until they could find a way to regenerate his human soul, that might be something Dean would do. But he was planning on keeping Jack in there for eternity. Dean would never do that, unless he doesn't consider Jack family, which would essentially make all the father/son bonding we have seen completely irrelevant. Like them going fishing like John and Dean used to do? Why even put that in there, then? Then Sam just... agrees to it? Like he tries to mildly argue about it, but that's it??? It's not even from a place of anger and hurt about Mary dying, it feels like he's doing it because he's entirely resigned about Jack and helping him. But Sam having hope is a huge and important part of late season Supernatural. He constantly tells Dean not to give up, that they will find a way, especially when Dean says he might have to lock himself in there, but now he's just "well, can't do anything now" and that's it? And when they try to get Jack to go into the box, they just become really bad at lying, especially Sam? THEY'VE LIED LITERALLY THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Sam has lied to so many people. And you can't tell me it was because he didn't actually want to do it or because he cared about Jack, because then he would have actually put up a fight. It was so weird considering what they were trying to do with Sam in the later seasons.

If we want to keep locking Jack in a box for eternity as something that Dean would actually do, it would have been much more in character for them to have an argument about it. Both agree that Jack is dangerous, that something needs to be done, but they disagree on how to handle it. Dean wants to do the equivalent of killing Jack, while Sam holds out hope. Both of them are angry at each other, and Sam immediately drops himself into research and finding a way to get Jack out of there, while Dean probably drinks.

And then there's Cas who's just... upset about the situation, but doesn't do anything. Which, also, ooc for Cas. Like you literally fled from the Winchester's when Kelly was pregnant with him, you have shown your capability to rebel against them too, but now that they locked your son in a box for eternity, you're somehow just like >:( and that's it?? Cas would have tried to bust the box open as soon as he heard of it, and would have beat Dean and Sam's ass for even trying that shit.

This entire episode was just the writers trying to make all the characters "betray" Jack so he would listen to Lucifer. Even if that forced them to act completely different to how they would. It's genuinely the worst scene in the show, in my opinion, because it manages to butcher literally every character and theme they've been trying to build up.

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

[sidecarghost]

Kripke: Family (as a source of trauma)

Sam and Dean’s brotherhood and the dichotomy of loving your brother while also disagreeing with him on almost everything at a fundamental level.

Azazel fostering a group of special children to serve in his holy war, and John raising Sam and Dean as soldiers for his holy war.

Filial piety taken to the extreme where any agency is given up. Meg’s blind faith in Azazel and then Lucifer, and Michael’s blind faith in following through with God’s plan for the end.

John Winchester’s legacy of hate and revenge being passed down to his children, Sam and Dean.

Dean, Cas, and Micheal and the consequences of absentee fathers and their sons hopelessly trying to gain approval from them.

Found family that helps emotionally support each other with team free will Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Cas vs the toxicity of the family you are born to. Similar parallel to fate vs free will.

Gamble: Identity (roles we assume vs our authentic self)

Souls as the fundamental particle that establishes our internal compass, but also capable of being lost or weaponized.

Assuming a role at the cost of being authentic:

Dean and Lisa where Dean tries to be a better father to Ben than John was to him

Cas as God where Cas tries to be a better God than the father he never met

Sam as soulless where Sam tries to be a better hunter than John, Dean, or the Campbells ever had been

And Leviathan becoming better capitalists than humans (authentic chameleons that live their best life by assuming whatever form let’s them be the most effective predator)

Carver: Oppression (being a hero to some makes you a villain to everyone else & the only force strong enough to cure oppression is love or total annihilation of the oppressors)

Abuse of power at all levels: Hell, Heaven, Earth

Monsters are shown to be morally complex and an oppressed population

The MoL is a defunct organization of humans that oppressed monsters.

Sam and Dean as the inheritors of the MoL legacy of oppression. They are never redeemed and carry on killing monsters until the end of the series.

Cain saves his brother Abel from damnation, but the cost doomed millions. His only escape was conquering the mark because of the love of one woman.

Naomi overriding the free will of angels by reprogramming them to keep them kowtowed to her agenda for heaven. Cas is able to conquer Naomi’s reprogramming because of the love of one man.

Metatron ejects the angels of Heaven forcing them to live among the people heaven has oppressed in the name of God. The show frames Metatron as a hero and a villain because good and evil can be subjective.

Rowena as the narcissistic mother that sees Crowley as a failure because of her own failings, and attempts to emotionally manipulate and influence his role as king of hell. Eventually Rowena is redeemed by developing genuine love for her son and team free will.

Styne family as a dynasty of white supremacists trying to make a race of superior humans. Their reign of oppression ends with their annihilation by Dean.

Sam clings to faith and hope in a righteous God even though he has suffered his whole life. Sam’s relationship to faith is never resolved through the end of the series.

Light oppressing the Darkness. God’s only sister was kept entombed by her only brother. Love for each other was the only force strong enough to stop their suffering.

Dabb: Fuck if I know???? (Cw: racism, suicide ideation, rape, incest) Dabb era is the most racist era of a very racist show. Other eras were problematic, but at least they attempted to tell a story based on an interesting theme. I cannot, for the life of me, come up with a theme for Dabb that the season wide plots feed into (calling it plot is a misnomer because there really is none in s12-s15, that shit cannot be consumed serially).

Destiel is shamelessly queerbaited, because Dabb has found that the queer and queer ally portion of fandom responds favorably to these crumbs.

BMoL as oppressive but now also British, and a new bunch of white people are added to the cast, because in the Spn universe Britain is solely populated by white people.

Lucifer keeps appearing to antagonize the protagonists, even though his relevance as a legitimate antagonist ended 7+ seasons ago.

Lucifer rapes a woman by posing as her lover. This results in the birth of the Messiah and death of the woman. No one ever seeks justice for Kelly, instead they endlessly obsess over her fetus.

The actor cast as Jack, the Messiah, is yet another white person in a cast full of white people.

Alternate universes are found that are like the main universe but way more boring.

Crowley is killed because Dabb is out of ideas for the character.

Sam and Dean are only interested in finding a way back to the apocalypse universe because their mom got stuck there. They express no desire to find a way back to help the universe where humans are being exterminated. They have completely given up on altruism and are living it up as privileged white people in their bunker mansion.

Black archangel Michael is villainized and loses any of the moral complexity that white archangel Michael exhibits.

Kevin Tran (one of the few recurring PoC), reappears in the Apocalypse universe just to blow himself up as a suicide bomber.

Archangel Gabriel was being kept imprisoned by Colonel Sanders who moonlights as a prince of hell. Does any of this mini arc impact the overall narrative? No. Just more white men added to the story because Dabb can’t figure out where to take the franchise.

Mary Winchester is fridged, yet again, by another yellow eyed supernatural being, so a singular family member can go into a vindictive rage about it.

Canon bisexual God is villainized. I would say for plot reasons, but I have yet to discover anything in s15 resembling a plot.

Main universe Kevin Tran (who sacrificed everything to devote his short life to helping Sam and Dean) reveals that God sent him to Hell all those years ago. Kevin is then doomed to wander Earth as a ghost until he goes insane. At which point, white guy Sam is probably going to kill him sending him back to suffer for eternity in Hell.

Billie, a black woman, becomes Death, a primordial entity and a stronger force than God (will reap God in the end). She is villainized and killed by white men for being committed to keeping the universe in balance and adhering to the natural order. No one seeks justice for her.

W*ncest is shamelessly baited because Dabb has found the portion of fandom that prefers bros as soulmates responds favorably to these crumbs.

Romanticizing suicide in a meta attempt to inform viewers that this show has lived past its useful shelf life and keeping it alive is a punishment to be endured.

Spn Prequel: ??? Not to jinx the prequel but at least it should not be worse than Dabb era.

[peridottea91]

Oh, also, for my fellow writers who might mix up major season plots/key events:

S1 - “Dad’s on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days”; Jess dies; introduction to the series; we get to see Dean have sex ;); meet Bobby

S2 - John Winchester dies; Harvelle’s Roadhouse; “gifted children”; Sam dies; Dean makes his deal; demons unleashed

S3 - meet Ruby; holy shit demons; Croatoan; meet Chuck; trying to find Lilith; meet Bela Talbot; oh wait nvmd, she’s going to hell; Dean goes to hell

S4 - “I raised you from perdition”; incoming some of the biggest man-angst; holy shit angels; demon blood!Sam; Sam fucks a demon, Dean fucks and angel (Anna, not Cas); Sam kills Lilith; Winchesters kill Ruby; hello Satan

S5 - Michael and Lucifer vessels; holy fuck so much angst between brotherr; angels v. demons; 4 horsemen; meet Jody Mills; meet Crowley; Harvelles die; demons suck and have been stalking Sam forever; Sam jumps into the pit with Lucifer; oh and Adam; Dean goes to Lisa and Ben

S6 - Soulless!Sam; Eve, Mother of All; Crowley and Cas team-up; Lisa and Dean officially end things; legit, Dean has Cas wipe her’s and Ben’s memories; “I am your god now”; Sam’s broken :’(

S7 - Sam’s really broken; Leviathans; Cas dead?; Sam goes crazy; Bobby dies; Cas has amnesia! And then goes crazy; meet Charlie <3; meet Kevin; meet Garth; Sam gets married and divorced in less than a week; demon tablet; “apparently standing next to exploding Dick gets your ass sent to Purgatory”

S8 - Dean’s back!; Sam hit a dog, and Amelia sucks; Cas is back?; meet Benny; the Bunker and MoL; Abaddon; angel and demon tablets; trials!Sam; meet a living douchebag Metatron; oh shit the angels have fallen

S9 - Gadreel!Sam; Kevin dies; Dean MoC; Garth is a werewolf; meet Donna; meet Alex; more Abaddon; oh wait, Dean killed Abaddon; Angel War between Cas and Metatron; Metatron kills Dean

S10 - demon!Dean; MoC; Book of the Damned; meet Rowena; Crowley addicted to human blood; 1st blade; Dean v. Cain; meet Claire (again); Charlie dies :’(; Dean kills death; unleash the darkness

S11 - Billy the Reaper; god’s sister wants to bone Dean; meet Eileen Leahy; Casifer; Chuck is God; God and his sister have issues; hi Mary!

S12 - introducing the British MoL; Mary has a hard time adjusting (being dead for 30+ yrs will do that); Dean is essentially an angsty teen; oh fuck Mary was working for the BMoL; Lucifer baby; poor Kelly Kline; Lucifer possessed the President; Sam and Dean go on a field trip to Federal prison; meet the Banes twins; Claire is a werewolf for 1 episode; Cas dies; Crowley dies; Eileen dies; Mick Davies dies (didn’t we just meet him?); Mind-control Mary; Ketch kills Toni Bevell; Mary kills Ketch; Mary and Lucifer in apocalypse world

S13 - Dean really hates Jack; Jack has superpowers, holy shit; apocalypse world; lots of nonsense with Lucifer; Cas is back!; fuck Jack is human; fuck here’s Michael; Michael!Dean

S14 - more Michael!Dean; Michael wants to take over the world; Dean has Michael trapped in his noggin; Dean’s brilliant idea to live at the bottom of the ocean; Jack keeps burning off his soul; Jack kills Michael; the apocalypse world survivors are killed; Jack kills Nick (that dude played by Satan); Jack accidentally kills Mary; why tf is Chuck here?; Chuck is a grade-A dickbag and the end is now

S15 - shit got really confusing and really messy really quick; like holy fuck Chuck wipes out everybody; Rowena dies; oh wiat, she’s queen of hell now!; lots of scrambling and trying to sort this shit out; Eileen is back from the dead; Saileen <3; Chuck wipes out all his alternate universes in the biggest temper tantrum ever seen; the empty and Billy team up briefly; the empty is pissed and looks like Meg; everyone is hopeless and depressed; the Winchesters get very unlucky; Chuck does a thanos snap on everyone except Team Free Will; “still beautiful, still Dean Winchester”; they pull an ATLA and Jack absorbs Chuck’s power; Jack is God now!; Dean gets a dog; WHAT DO YOU MEAN DEAN DIES!?; everything sucks and I hate it >:(

[itsquinn69]

supernatural

⚠️SUPERNATURAL SPOILERS!!! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE FINISHED THE SERIES⚠️

i just finished supernatural. oh my jack. i- i can't right now. i have never cried so much in my entire life. i forgot how finishing a series feels. god it hurts so damn much. i've finished many series before but supernatural? it just hits different. the characters and cast felt more like a family to me than my actual family. they were my comfort for so long. now i don't even know what to do since all i did was watch supernatural in my free time. i mean i could always rewatch the series but it won't feel the same ya know what i mean? i would sell my soul just to watch the series for the first time again. and yes, i know what you're saying. "we literally have 15 seasons telling you why you shouldn't do that." but i mean hell doesn't seem too bad as a demon. i mean rowena is queen of hell it's a party down there! (ok not really) i have mixed feelings about the ending though. i kinda love it but at the same time i kinda hated it. i mean the way dean died? c'mon he's dean frickin winchester. i large nail in a wooden post is gonna stop him? his death should've been bigger. don't even get me started on castiel's death scene. CAS WAS CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO DEAN AND DEAN WAS ALL: 🧍‍♂️ LIKE BRO YOUR "BEST FRIEND" AND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO YOU AND ABOUT TO DIE AND YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE SAYING NOTHING jack becoming god? i liked that. but at least have a proper goodbye. have a last beer with sam and dean. when dean got to heaven and bobby mentioned how heaven changed because of jack and cas helped? WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT I NEED ANSWERS as much as i don't like mary and john, we should've gotten a scene where sam, dean, mary, and john are reunited. do we know if charlie and kevin made it to heaven? SAM SHOULD'VE ENDED UP WITH EILEEN DAMNIT. in my opinion, sam and dean should've died together and at the same time. they go on this huge case for this monster they've never even heard of before and it was the first time the monster was able to defeat them. they just die next to each other and their last words being "jerk" "bitch" and they close their eye and they open them and then they're in the impala and in front of them is the house they lived in before mary and the fire and they just see everyone they've ever loved and cared about that died. bobby, ellen, jo, mary, john, kevin, charlie, benny, jess, kelly, etc. heck, if we're looking for a stretch maybe even cas, rowena, crowley, and even meg. (it's a stretch cause they're supposed to be in the empty)

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCIV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And you are not here... (Part. II)

(13x02/13x03)

Hello dears! We are here again, witnessing Dean's mourning for Castiel, and we are suckers for that.

I will try to convey in this meta two episodes, so let's see what happens!

The rejection

At the beginning of the episode, we had Sam and Dean talking about Jack. Dean keeps rejecting the kid because he put on him the weight of loosing Castiel.

They find a motel, and Dean plays the tv, and there's Scooby, and for a brief moment we saw him smiling. Then Dean gives Jack the Bible, and the kid opens it in the Book of Song of Solomon, which is from the Old Testament, and it talks plenty about a two lovers that try to find a way to be together. So the poems describe their passionate and beautiful love for each other, their sadness and their difficulties. Is narrated romantically poetic of that time.

This is very meaningful because the book could be symbolizing Castiel and Dean, trying to be reunited. And the kid is the one who will help to do that. Two lovers that were separated by death but also, who had lived a lot of difficulties together.

Also this quote from Asmodeus:

ASMODEUS: The pain, the, uh, the total humiliation… it forged an eternal bond between us.

Is just a little taste of a dark parallel to Destiel. Is a dark, toxic bond, forged by pain and humiliation, all the opposite of Destiel bond. And we are witnessing this quote because is in the next episode the one Jack will wake up CAS through Dean's mourning. The power of their bond forged by love. The lovers will be finally reunited again.

This scene is when Jack shows Dean is his role model... But also, let's check out the colors...

Go f credit @deansplushy

The room is blue (Castiel) and the kid is imitating Dean, Dean knows it and looks very done with it.

But the whole room is painted in Blue, as if Castiel were in Jack and Dean's mind the whole time.

Then, this foreshadow...

DONATELLO: Sam? Dean? Is God with you?

Donnie was certainly sensing the new God, but also these words...

DONATELLO: (...) So… a few days ago, I’m online, checking out condos in Boca, and I am knocked off my feet by this weird wave of power. Not exactly like God’s. More like… something new, something fresh. I was drawn to it. It’s here.

Something new, something fresh, that's a good description for a new God that just had bey born. Donnie knew it the whole way long.

After this they decided to brought Jack to tattooed the sigil... And this very symbolic dialogue happened between Jack and Dean:

JACK It hurt.

Gif set credit @demondetox

This is the description of grief. So, if Dean was trying to give himself a message and to push the kid into that idea, Jack took it well. He knows he has to endure it. Even if Jack is talking about physical pain, or emotional pain, it fits perfectly with the lesson is floating around loosing Castiel.

Another discussion about Jack happens and this time Dean explodes into hurtful words, and Jack flies away.

The scene in which Sam is talking with him is very beautiful, but also, the colors caught my attention again...

Gif credit @deansplushy

Again, the color blue behind Sam and Jack, is another reminder of Cas. We also have the green (Dean) behind Sam, and Sam is talking about him. Is a very nice played scene, because Dean is to Sam what Cas is to Jack here "a father" but the good one. And Sam trying to explain why Dean acts like this...

SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.

JACK: Why would he be afraid?

SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.

JACK: Maybe I’m not worth all this.

SAM: Your mom thought you were. So did Cas. So do I.

Sam is mentioning one of Dean's inner issues: THE BIG PROTECTOR, as a raised first born, and as a obedient soldier, Dean is trying to fulfill the order his father gave him the night their house were burning and Mary died. John Winchester gave Sam to Dean, and asked him to take care of him, so, the GUILT HERITAGE as I spoke so many times, is playing rudely in Dean right now. He wants to fulfill that mission, because his father asked him to. This is the toxicity in Dean's personality. In harmony with the quote that is said in this same episode: the sons that try to please their fathers.

The Anger and the Patience

When the episode starts, we are immerse into a psychic house, in the window we can see an eye, as a representation of psychic but also, the eye in the triangle represents God. And we all know Chuck is about to come in season 14.

We can distinguish too a book: 'The knowledge of ourselves" in Dede's house. Is an interesting reference to what I about to come: the whole season 14 will be a self-knowledge path Dean will take based on his experience of being faced with himself in the possesion. As I described in my metas, the experience of the possesion is similar to being in Purgatory for Dean: all his human necesites will be gone, and the purity in his heart will be exposed: What do you want?

When Dede is in front of the spectrum, she can see his true form, just like we will see through Anael's eyes, AUMichael's true form.

Let's jump onto Jack's scene watching a video Kelly left him. The mother's message is very pivotal in Jack's life.

KELLY: Hi Jack, it’s uh… I’m your mom. I guess I should tell you, um, I always wanted to be a mom. I’d play with dolls. I was that kind of girl and daydream about my baby.

Kelly is certifying here he wanted to have Jack, Jack was loved. Not rejected, but loved. Kelly says I WANTED TO BE YOUR MOM.

KELLY: Jack, don’t let anyone tell you who you’re supposed to be. Because who you’re supposed to be isn’t fate, it isn’t me, it isn’t your father. You are who you choose to be. And I know you’re going to okay. You are going to be amazing. You have an angel watching over you.

'It isn't me (not human) it isn't your father (not an angel)' is the perfect description of Jack, because he is gonna be the New God. And the last quote is a recall of Mary saying the same to Dean, when she was pregnant. And, emotionally linked to episode 15x18, in which Case says 'I got you' to Jack and then to Dean.

Dean keeps rejecting Jack, calling him a monster, is a blatant self punishment facing the huge guilt he carries in his heart after losing Castiel.

An important scene happens between Missouri and Dean. She, as a psychic, can sense Dean's mourning and depression.

MISSOURI: Oh honey, I’m sorry for your losses.

Dean looks surprised to these words, all the pain he was trying to hide, mostly in front of Jody and her, it shows.

Another self reflection in the mirror of the spectrum foreshadowing Dean staring at the mirror, possesed by Michael.

The conversation between Sam and Jack shows how Jack feels himself as a monster, also he has GUILT, we are witnessing here the GUILT HERITAGE from Dean to Jack, just like John did with him.

Also, Sam see himself in Jack, through his experience with the darkness in the past.

A parallel with Kelly's messages is reflected on Missouri goodbye words to her granddaughter Patience in the cemetery.

MISSOURI: I promise, no matter what happens, no matter where I go, I will always look out for you. You hear?

The words are different but the feelings are the same. Mostly because Sam was reading a book about how to help gifted kids, and this episode talks about two gifted kids: Jack and Patience. The two of them trying to control their powers. But Jack is encouraged to do that and Patience is not allowed to do it by his father.

A little bit interesting point we have in the spectrum WRAITH feeding by psychic's brain, is a continuity with AUMichael living inside of Dean.

When everything ends, Dean has some words with Patience that caught Jody's attention...

PATIENCE: I talked to my dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he’s right.

DEAN: He is. This life, hunting, monsters, there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.

Dean speaks directly from his broken heart, he had just lost CAS, so he lost everything. There's not meaning in keep living for him. He had seen the death that being a hunter brings. So, he had changed. Everything is sadness, grey and dark for Dean. There's no hopes, no light.

But Jody will speak again, just like Kelly did with Jack, using similar words for Patience:

JODY: Patience, wait. I may be out of line here but you don’t have to listen to him. To either of them if it’s not what you really want.

Not me, not him, Patience need to find herself, just like Jack. Just like the book prayed at the beginning of the episode.

Okay, we are going to focus now in theast scene, so so important!

When Sam sees Dean is back, they started talking about Jack again...

SAM: How was it? Uh, Jody told me about Missouri.

DEAN: Yeah, just another day at the office. How’s the kid? He go dark side yet?

Dean talks about Missouri here with apathy, emotionlessly. This is part of his depression. Then, Sam confronts him.

SAM: No, Dean. He’s messed up because of you. Dean, you said you’d kill him.

DEAN: It wasn’t exactly like that.

SAM: Then how exactly was it?

DEAN: I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad.

SAM: I didn’t.

DEAN: What?

SAM: I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood.

Sam sees himself in Jack in the good way, with hopes, but Dean sees himself in Jack as something that needs to be killed...

DEAN: Come on man, that’s totally different.

SAM: Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him!

DEAN: You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t!

SAM: Yes he does, Dean, of course he does!

I will stop here, Dean reflecting himself in Jack is blatant here: HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE SAVED. Is the self knowledge of his inner GUILT and MONSTER. Dean sees himself as a monster that doesn't deserve to be saved.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost!

(Gif credit @foxthefanboi )

Here, my mind went immediately at the scene from previous episode, because Jack behaves so like CAS, and Dean can see it. The pain in Dean's face is getting louder and louder, his eyes, the way he is talking, with cathartic anger will reach the high point when he starts mention the most important person he lost in his life... Castiel. All his pain and anger are because Castiel is gone.

SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

But is not about mom...

DEAN: And what about Cas?

SAM: What about Cas?

Now, the pain and the anger are released in front of his brother. And Sam just confirms and faces it in silence.

DEAN: He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

(gif set credit @shirtlesssammy )

Sam is silent, he takes every drop of anger and pain from his brother, the very cause of Dean's grief is revealed to him. Dean is mourning Castiel. Dean can't forget CAS is dead. Dean can't forgive Jack, himself , for that. That's why. That's the truth. That's why Sam keeps silent.

But the kid is listening...

The grief and the longing is so huge, Jack is able to reach Castiel in the Empty through it. Just like Amara reached Dean through Castiel.

(Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy)

To Conclude:

These two episode showed us how Dean reflects himself in Jack.The guilt and the pain, together with the anger is so huge in Dean's heart, he can't barely hide it.

Sam is the one keeping the flag up for hopes, but Dean had lost everything.

The profound bond is important again now, because is the way Jack reacher CAS in the Empty and wake him up.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read my previous meta from season 13 go to this link.

Buenos Aires, December 27th 2020, 12:45 PM

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together.  Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else.  We had our own Yahoo group for beta.  We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories.  But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror.  I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard.  I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better."  So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent.  I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make.  But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer.  I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count.  All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back.  I need to at least get everyone linked.  Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us.  Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job.  I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files.  I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy.  I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count.  I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing.  I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now.  SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY.  Where are my old Krycek bitches at?  Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show.  Find a living community you love for a show you love.  There are great people out there creating and get involved.  It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

[supernatural-freek]

Love Me, Trust Me, Leave Me To Drown

Dean x Sister!Reader, Sam x Sister!Reader

Synopsis: You stayed, and like the giant space cat thing promised, your memories of before have long since left you. Things are good, things are great, but then Jack shows up like a glitch in the Matrix, and those floodgates open right back up. Soon, the one secret you didn’t know you were keeping might very well destroy everything you have.

NOTE: The long awaited Part Two!

MASTERLIST (PART ONE) (PART 3)

.

Okay, if anyone ever tells you that Sam can cook, kill them. Literally just stab them right in the fucking face because they are lying to you. Sam can’t cook for shit. You want breakfast made for you? You go right up to Dean and you give him puppy dog eyes and he will make you a feast.

“It tastes great,” you told him with a strained smile, desperately trying not to throw up whatever the fuck you just ate. Same called it porridge, but God damn, it didn’t taste like it. It tasted like a dog pissed on cardboard and then you burned a fucking Wendigo on it and then you ate it.

Holy shit, you were never going to look at porridge the same ever again.

Sam’s sweet little smile made you feel a little better, but it wasn’t enough to make you swallow down another mouthful of-of-

You shuddered. It didn’t need to be thought about.

“I’ll make it every morning,” Sam decided, watching you earnestly. You narrowed your eyes. He played the doting brother really well, but he was just a demon in disguise. A demon whose torture speciality was really fucking bad food. 

If this was what was waiting for you in Hell, you were going to cry. And then find a way to live forever. Perhaps they’d let you off the rack if you just agreed to whatever they wanted straight away?

Sam was still waiting for an answer though, and your smile withered to a grimace. “Sure bro,” you answered heavily, resigning yourself to your fate. You’d just get Dean to smuggle you burgers from the outside world. He loved you enough for that.

You brightened. Dean. Your other brother would save you. Dean would do anything for you. He always had, even when John didn’t approve. You’d always adored him for that.

Grinning brightly, you shoved the bowl back at Sam and got to your feet. “Thanks for the food, Sam! I’m gonna go find Dean!”

You bounced away before Sam could say anything. You were weak for your brothers - anything they asked you to do you would do. Even if it meant pretending to like rat poison. 

Yuck, the aftertaste that lingered in your mouth was even worse how was that possible-

“Dean!” You cheered, bursting into his room without any sort of warning. Thank God he wasn’t naked and masturbating to the bad pornos he loved so dearly. Thank God it wasn’t him fucking someone. That would be awkward on all fronts.

Pfft. ‘Fronts’.

Anyway.

Like the actual drama queen that he was, Dean had thrown himself off the bed when you’d kicked his door open, and so he was laying on the floor, blinking up at you in a daze. “Y/N.”

You sprawled out across his bed, burying your face in his pillow. Ew. It was kind of sweaty. “Clean your shit,” you mumbled.

Something poked your ribs. “What?”

You raised your head up to stare over the edge at him. “Sam is trying to kill me with his cooking and I need you to smuggle me actually edible food so I don’t die a premature death.”

Dean snorted, getting to his feet and simply laying over the top of you. You grunted in protest as his weight pushed you into the soft covers. Fuck. He was a heavy son of a bitch. “What will I do?” Dean pondered.

“Get off me for one. Christ, what do you eat?”

Dean huffed some sort of offended noise. “That’s rude. Do you want my help or not?”

You instantly let go of the weight thing. “Yes.”

Satisfied, Dean rolled off of you and instead laid down next to you. It was like being at a sleepover. Except it was your brother. Your brother who was literally just a grown child with stupidly adorable freckles. This man was precious. 

“Let me tell you a secret,” he whispered, just like a high school girl.

You rolled your eyes but indulged him anyway. “What?”

“Sam knows he can’t cook for shit. He just likes to fuck with you.”

You shot up, mouth hanging open. Fucking what?!

Oh, Sam better watch his fucking back. Cause you were gonna be standing behind him with a fucking knife that traitorous little bitch.

You barely heard Dean’s protests as you vaulted off the bed and sprinted down the hallway, intent on finding Sam and shaving his entire fucking head. You couldn’t believe he’d made you eat that disgusting pile of dogshit and hadn’t said anything.

What had you done to earn this betrayal? Dean was the one who was always being a dick and playing pranks, and instead, Sam had turned on you? You were just his sweet, innocent little sister! What the fuck!

“Samuel!” You roared, voice echoing and doubling.

“Hello?” An unfamiliar voice answered you, and you faltered in your rampage, immediately seeking out the owner of the tentative greeting. You found him easily, tucked away around a corner and peering at you with large eyes.

“The fuck are you?” You asked gruffly, coming to a stop. He was young, whoever it was that had appeared in the bunker. Vaguely familiar too, but you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out where you knew him from. "How'd you get in here?"

The boy frowned, looking adorably confused and concerned. "It's me," he answered nervously. "Its Jack."

Jack. Yes, you remembered him now. Memories appeared like fog in the morning, cementing in your mind as if they’d never been gone in the first place. Of course you remembered Jack. The son of Lucifer, but also the son of Kelly. 

A wide smile broke out across your face. “Jack!” You greeted eagerly, immediately reaching for his hand and tugging. You’d always been so easy with tactile actions - Dean hadn’t spoken to you for almost two weeks after you’d given Jack a tight hug and an affectionate pat on his cheek.

Jack followed without much protest, but there was still a hesitance in his movements, as if he’d noticed that something wasn’t quite right in this situation. You couldn’t for the life of you think why. You and Jack had always been close. It was like Dean and Cas.

You were friends.

“Samuel!” You roared, upon entering the kitchen and finding your brother eating a nice fresh salad. “You have some explaining to do!”

Sam looked up, brow furrowing in mock innocence. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” he answered. His eyes flicked to Jack, behind you, and something about him visibly softened. He’d always loved Jack like he’d love a son.

You scowled at him. “Whatever the fuck you made me eat before - you know that it’s worse than shit.”

“You said you loved it.”

“Because you’re a pussy, Sam, and I’d hate to hurt your feelings.”

Sam’s mirth fell away. “Watch your language,” he warned. “Dean’ll have your head.”

You scoffed, twirling away from Jack to grab a bottle of Coke from the fridge. “Dean can kiss my as-”

“Finish that sentence, sis, and I’m going to lock you in your room for a week.” Dean’s voice was gruff, but teasing, and you grinned as you took a swig from the bottle of soft drink. 

You threw him a cheeky grin. “Just means I get to sleep for ages.”

Dean returned your smile, and then sat next to Sam, screwing his face up at the healthy food. You hid your snort in another drink of Coke. God, both your brother were such wussies about certain things. 

Jack, who’d simply watched the interactions up until this certain point, spoke up, his voice soft but forceful. “Y/N, who gave you those memories?”

Time seemed to come to a complete standstill.

What the fuck, Jack?

You had no idea what he was talking about - absolutely none, you swore it. All of your memories were real, you’d lived these things. You knew Jack and you knew Cas and you knew Dean and you knew Sam.

(Deep down, you knew something was wrong with them. You’re memories were shiny, as though someone had tampered with them. No. No. They were real.)

“Jack.” Dean’s voice brooked no room for argument. He needed an explanation. You all needed an explanation.

Jack’s wide eyes flitted over to you, something like unease passing over his face. “Her memories,” he said, suddenly unsure. “They aren’t real. They’ve been implanted. It’s why she didn’t know me until I introduced myself.”

Your mind went very, very, very very very very far away from your body for a very long pause. No. No, you remembered Jack. Of course you remembered Jack! You’d taught him to play tag, running around the bunker in a frenzy, loud laughter bouncing off the walls. You’d-You’d introduced him to ice cream and-and-

It was real. It had to be.

“So where did I come from?” Your voice doubled and echoed as your body swirled around the room. You were still sat in that fucking chair of course, but your body was swirling anyway. “Who am I? Am I a Winchester?”

Nobody said anything for too many heartbeats.

Right.

Of course.

Of-fucking-course.

Dean’s voice was steely and yet still wounded when he said, “We’ll get Cas. We’ll figure this out.” He pushed away from the table and stood up, his green eyes hooded and his face shadowed. “I need some air.”

You reached for him. “Dean-”

He winced away, hurrying off with almost-silent footsteps. You looked to Sam, eyes wide and pleading. He didn’t look up from the table, fork limp in his hands.

You looked to Jack, who just looked back with bottomless eyes that made you fall and fall and fall.

[bamby0304]

Her Saviours- Ch.19

Series Masterlist

Summary: During an odd case, the Winchesters came across Y/N, a scared young Omega girl who had been used as a lure for a nest of vampires. After rescuing her from the monsters, John and his sons took her in knowing she was in no state to live among ordinary people. But three Alphas and one Omega is a mixture bound for disaster.

Warnings: Explicit language. ABO dynamics. Angst. Fluff.

Bamby

Dean’s arm was around your waist as the two of you snuggled on your shared bed. Sam was sitting at the dining table of the night’s motel of choice. On the phone to one of John’s oldest hunter friends, Sam was determined to get to the bottom of where his father was.

“No, Dad was in California last we heard from him. We just thought...he comes to you for 'munitions....maybe you've seen him in the last few weeks. Just, call us if you hear anything.” There was a pause before Sam added a ‘thanks’ and then hung up.

Looking over your shoulder at him, Dean asked, “Caleb hasn't heard from him?”

“Nope,” Sam sighed, rising from his seat. “And neither has Jefferson or Pastor Jim. What about the journal? Any leads in there?”

“No, same as last time I looked.” Dean shook his head, settling back down into his pillow and pulling you close again. “Nothing I can make out. I love the guy, but I swear, he writes like friggin' Yoda.”

“You know, maybe we should call the Feds. File a missing person’s,” Sam suggest.

You scoffed, pulling away from Dean to sit up and turn to Sam. “Have you lost your mind?”

“I want to find my dad. I’m desperate enough to do anything to find him,” he countered.

Shaking your head, you pushed up to your feet and stepped towards him, a little challenging. “And what? You think Dean doesn’t want to find him? You think I don’t want to find him?”

“I’m not saying you don’t want to find him, but you and Dean… you’ve always followed his orders. You’ve always gone where he told you to, and done what he’s said to. Hell, you two went off on a case because of him, and now look at where we are.”

“So you’re blaming us?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“No I’m blaming his overbearing Alpha attitude,” Sam countered, surprising you. “No one ever questions him, so he doesn’t feel challenged or threatened, so he thinks he can get away with anything and it’s stupid shit like that that’s gonna get him hurt.”

“You did.”

He frowned down at you, confused. “Huh?”

“You challenged him every chance you got,” you noted, stepping closer to him subconsciously.

Raising one shoulder in a shrug, he reached up to fix the collar of your flannel top. “Someone had to. Just because he’s Pack Alpha doesn’t mean he’s right. Doesn’t mean he should be Pack Alpha.”

The way Sam said it… you weren’t sure he was even aware of the way his scent intensified ever so slightly. You were though. You could feel it pulse around you, and fill your senses. Suddenly you felt a little light headed and warm.

Noticing the way you swayed on the spot a little, Sam’s hand shot out to grab your waist and hold you in place. “You okay?” he asked with genuine concern.

Biting your lip, you hummed a ‘yes’ as you nodded.

Dean cleared his throat from where he was leaning up on his elbow in bed. “You two done?” Once you’d pulled away from Sam and crawled back onto your spot next to Dean, he turned to his brother. “We've talked about this. Dad'd be pissed if we put the Feds on his tail.”

“I don't care anymore.” Sam shrugged just as Dean’s phone chimed. “After all that happened back in Kansas, I mean...he should've been there, Dean. You said so yourself. You tried to call him and...nothing.”

“I know!” Dean exclaimed as he reached over to the bedside table behind him to check his phone.

“You know, he could be dead for all we know.”

Sam’s words made your blood run cold.

“Don't say that!” Dean warned. “He's not dead! He's- he's…”

“He's what?” Sam pressed. “He's hiding? He's busy?”

Instead of answering Sam, Dean finally checked his phone. He mumbled after a pause, “Huh. I don't believe it.”

“What?” Sam asked, taking a seat on his own bed.

“It's, uh… it's a text message. It's coordinates.” Dean turned and showed the two of you his phone.

Sure enough, someone had sent him coordinates.

42, -89

There was only one person who wasn’t in the room who sent those kinds of messages to the Winchesters… John.

Dean jumped out of bed in an instant and hurried over to the dining table where Sam’s laptop sat. You and Sam were still in shock, watching as Dean got to work right away.

When Sam’s brain eventually did catch up, he stood and headed over to his brother. “You think Dad was texting us?”

“He's given us coordinates before,” Dean noted.

“The man can barely work a toaster, Dean,” Sam countered.

He was very wrong about that, though. John wasn’t great when it came to tech before Sam went to college, but after? When John saw how the loss of his son was dragging you down, he got you to show him how to do things. It was a way to distract you, but also a way so he could check up on you. Make sure you knew that even when he wasn’t around, he was still there for you.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t shown the same reassurance this time around...

“Sam, it's good news!” Dean insisted. “It means he's okay, or alive at least.”

“Well, was there a number on the caller ID?”

“Nah, it said 'unknown'.”

“Well, where do the coordinates point?”

“That's the interesting part.” Dean read from the computer screen. “Rockford, Illinois.”

“Ok, and that's interesting how?”

“I checked the local Rockford paper. Take a look at this.” He turned the computer so Sam could see it as he explained the case he’d found. “This cop, Walter Kelly, comes home from his shift, shoots his wife, then puts the gun in his mouth, blows his brains out. And earlier that night, Kelly and his partner responded to a call at the Roosevelt Asylum.”

“Okay, I'm not following. What has this have to do with us?”

“Dad earmarked the same asylum in the journal,” Dean noted.

Taking that as a cue, you got out of bed, headed over to Dean’s duffle and pulled out John’s journal. Flicking through the pages, you quickly found what you were looking for. “Seven unconfirmed sightings, and two deaths.”

“Until last week at least,” Dean added. “I think this is where he wants us to go.”

Sam just snorted, pulling back from the table and shaking his head. “This is a job... Dad wants us to work a job.”

“Well, maybe we'll meet up with him? Maybe he's there?” You weren’t sure if Dean actually believed his own words, but you wanted to hope he was right.

“Maybe he's not?” Clearly Sam wasn’t as confident. “I mean, he could be sending us there, by ourselves, to hunt this thing.”

“Who cares! If he wants us there, it's good enough for me!”

“This doesn't strike you as weird? The texting? The coordinates?”

“Sam! Dad's tellin' us to go somewhere, we're goin'.”

Knowing Dean had the last say, Sam just glared at him as Dean rose from his seat and headed towards you. You stood there, feeling a little uncomfortable and conflicted as Dean wound his arms around your waist from behind and turned the two of you until you were facing his brother.

“He’s Pack Alpha. Doesn’t matter if you want him to be or not. Doesn’t matter if you think he shouldn’t be anymore. Dad’s the boss, we do as he says and that’s final.” Leaning forward, Dean rested his chin on your shoulder. “Now, pack up your crap.”

“We’re going now?” you asked, turning your head so you could look at him.

“He sent the message now, so we’re going now.” Dean gave your cheek a kiss. “Don’t worry, you can sleep while I drive,” he promised before letting go of you and turning away to head into the bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed, leaving you and Sam alone, the two of you looked to each other.

“You can’t agree with all of this.”

“All of what?”

He scoffed and stepped towards you. “Dad has control over your life, and now Dean does, too. You must hate having to do what they say.”

“I don’t have to do anything. I don’t belong to anyone. You see a mark on my neck?” Pulling your collar back, you tilted your head to give him a better view. “I’m a free woman, Sam. I can do what I want.”

“If that’s the case…” he shrugged, “why don’t you join us on this case?”

It was a challenge. He knew you’d always wanted to do more than just sit around and do research. More than just sit around and wait for the Alphas to return. Now, however, things were a little different.

“After the shapeshifter-”

“That was months ago,” he countered, cutting you off. “And you’ve come a long way. You’re strong, Y/N. You’re better than the woman people think you are. You’re not weak or timid or shy. I know you, even after all this time. I know you. You hate not having full control over your own fate, you just won’t say anything because you feel like you owe Dad, Dean and me some kind of debt.”

Swallowing the thick nothingness in your throat, you averted your gaze.

He wasn’t entirely wrong.

“You deserve better than waiting around for my dad to give you permission.”

Eyes darting back up, you glared at him. “What are you saying, Sam?”

Was he suggesting you deserved more than hotel rooms, microwave meals, and bad day-time TV? Or was he suggesting something else?

Before he could answer you, the bathroom door opened as Dean stepped out and spotted the two of you.

“Am I interrupting something?” The tension in Dean’s voice an palpable. There really was no question as to whether he was okay with you getting close to his brother or not… clearly, he was not okay.

“No.” Shaking your head, you decided you didn’t want Sam to answer. Reaching for your bag on the floor, you turned to look over your shoulder and smiled at Dean. “I’ll meet you in the car.”

Without giving Sam a second look, you walked out of the room, hoping he wouldn’t bring the subject up again.

Dean was playing the bad guy in the bar, which meant you and Sam had to pretend not to know him, but still be around and wait for the cue. At first you thought that meant the two of you were just gonna sit at the bar, pick at some peanuts and drink some beers… but Sam had other plans.

“Come on.” Grabbing your hand, smiling widely, he led you over to the jukebox.

Your eyes grew wide and darted around the room. “Sam what are you-”

Cutting you off, he twirled you around before pulling you closer. Hands landing on your hips, he smiled down at you. “Dance with me?”

“You’re insane,” you scoffed, moving to pull away.

As you pulled back he caught your hand again and kept you from going far. “Just stand here and sway with me. Please. Nothing serious. Just… I wanna hold you, Y/N.”

The flutter of butterflies that assaulted your stomach almost had you fainting on the spot.

Moving back to him, you couldn’t help but return his smile with one of your own as his hands landed back on your waist. You couldn’t deny that they felt good there. That it felt good to have him close again.

“Are you doing this to mess with me?” you asked, voice soft, unsure, a little scared of his answer.

Sighing, he slid his hands around to the small of your back, pulling you a little closer. “Don’t think for one second that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be with you, Y/N. I never once ran away from you.”

“No… but you didn’t stay with me, either.”

“I would’ve asked you to come with me if I thought you’d do it. But I know you care about Dad and Dean, and I knew you would have begged me not to go.” He sighed, “I never could say no to you.”

“You're Daniel Gunderson. You're a cop, right?”

Dean’s voice carried through the bar, drawing yours and Sam’s attention to him as he spoke to a man at one of the tables. It was pretty obvious the guy didn’t want to talk to anyone, but that was kind of the point.

“Yeah.” The guy nodded shortly.

“Huh. I'm uh, Nigel Tufnel, The Chicago Tribune,” Dean introduced himself with the fake name he’d chosen for the case. “Mind if I ask you a couple of questions, about your partner?” he asked as he slid into the seat across from Gunderson.

“Yeah, I do. I'm just tryin' to have a beer here.”

Just like you’d all planned, Dean insisted, “That's okay, I swear it won't take that long. I just want to get the story in your words.”

“A week ago, my partner was sitting in that chair. Now he's dead. You gonna ambush me here?” Gunderson gestured to the chair Dean was now sitting in.

That was Sam’s cue.

Dean was not giving up. “Sorry. But I need to know what happened.”

Walking away from you, Sam stormed across the bar and shove Dean right out of the chair. You could tell by the way Dean’s head snapped in the direction of his brother that the shove had been harder than he’d been expecting.

“Hey buddy, why don't you leave the poor guy alone! The man's an officer! Why dontcha show a little respect!” Sam snapped.

Staring at Sam a moment longer, Dean then fixed up his jacket and walked out of the door.

Once Dean was gone, Gunderson looked to Sam. “You didn't have to do that.”

“Yeah, course I did. That guy's a serious jerk.” Shaking his head, Sam took Dean’s place in the seat across from the cop. “Let me buy you a beer, huh?”

Not waiting around to see what was gonna happen next, you headed for the nearest exit.

In the farthest corner of the parking lot, you found Dean sitting on the hood of Baby, shaking his head with his hands in his pockets. The way he was looking at the ground, it was clear he was unimpressed.

“He did it for the effect,” you assured Dean, heading for the car.

Looking up, he scoffed. “He did it to get back at me.”

“And what does he have to get back at you for?”

“Oh, I don’t know?” Dean gave a short shrug. “Let’s see, there’s the fact Dad’s gone and I’m not looking hard enough for him. I dragged Sam back into the life and now I’m bossing him around like Dad always did. And there’s you.”

“Me?” you asked, stopping in front of him.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Play pretend,” he answered. “I saw the two of you dancing.”

Gesturing over your shoulder at the bar, you gave a short laugh. “You mean you saw us standing in front of the jukebox together.”

“I know what I saw, Y/N. I’m not an idiot. It’s not just tonight. The two of you… he wants you, and you want him.”

“Of course I want him!” you exclaimed, getting agitated. “Have you forgotten the years I spent with him? I might’ve been with you first, but Sam and me… it was safer for the two of us to be together. We could do the public thing. It wasn’t illegal, it wasn’t weird, and we took full advantage of that. Sam and I actually acted like a fucking couple, not some dirty little secret!”

Dean pushed off the car suddenly. “I never wanted that for you! You think I wanted to treat you like some secret?”

“You still fucking do!”

“Because I can’t have you!” he countered.

By now, you wouldn’t be surprised if the people in the bar could hear the two of you screaming at each other.

“You fucking think I like not being able to show you off to the world? You think I like flirting with every set of boobs, and then crawling back into bed with you like they’re nothing?” His nostrils were flaring as his angered eyes searched yours.

A calm settled over you as he said his last point. “If you hate hooking up with so many women, then stop.”

“Being with them keeps me from making a huge fucking mistake.”

Gasping, you flinched and pulled back. Right away he could see his mistake.

“Y/N-”

“You think marking me would be a mistake? You think… being my Alpha would be a mistake?”

“No.” He quickly shook his head, all traces of anger now erased from his voice. “I think marking you without talking it out with Dad first would be a mistake… ‘cause I don’t want to take you away from him, and I don’t want to take him away from you. When Sammy left I know how much that hurt, and now that Dad is gone I know you’re hurting all over again. But just because he’s not here now doesn’t mean he’s gone forever, and when he is back by your side… I don’t want either of you hating me.”

The sincerity in his eyes made your heart hurt. He meant every word of it. Dean… he wanted to give you more, but he didn’t want to take from you at the same time.

“No one ever said making me yours would take me from him,” you countered.

“I’m not willing to take that risk.” He sighed, “I’m sorry.”

Smiling sadly, you nodded. “No, it’s fine. I get it. I can wait until we find John. Then we’ll all sit down and we’ll figure this out. I get it. It’s okay.”

Despite how much you wanted to believe it… you weren’t sure you could. You weren’t sure the words were enough to keep your heart from breaking even more than it already was.

“Everything okay?”

Spinning on your heels, you watched as Sam approached you and his brother.

Avoiding the question, Dean leaned back on Baby again. “Shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy.”

“I had to sell it, didn't I? It's method acting.” Sam shrugged as he stepped up to you, turning away from his brother. “You okay?” he asked, lifting his hand to caress your cheek.

You pulled back and looked away, folding your arms over your chest. “I’m fine.”

Watching you, Sam frowned with concern. “Y/N-”

“What did the cop have to say?” you asked, cutting him off.

Sighing, realising you weren’t going to talk, he got back to the case. “So, Walter Kelly was a good cop. Head of his class, even-keeled, he had a bright future ahead of him.”

“What about at home?”

Turning his attention to Dean, Sam shrugged. “He and his wife had a few fights, like everybody, but he was mostly smooth sailing. They were even talking about having kids.”

“Alright,” Dean pushed off Baby again. “So either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waiting to bust out, or something else did it to him.”

Sam gave a short nod. “Right.”

As the three of you headed for the car doors to get in, Dean asked, “What'd Gunderson tell you about the asylum?”

“A lot.”

Bamby

[nancylou444]

this is what I mean by ‘not the sharpest tack’

Let’s start with the replies from last night after I logged out to watch tv: 

@thedemoniccow said: mrspadaleckisworld I think he was sweet when he adopted Jack and sacrificed himself to kill Lucifer (even though that failed) He has given himself up time and time again for the Winchester’s and Dean just completely forgot that. Yeah, honestly I would have beaten him up too.  

Sacrificed himself to kill Lucifer? Once again he created a situation and it’s only right that he fix it. (bringing down Sam’s Hell Wall then taking on his hallucinations wasn’t because he was being nice) HE said ‘yes’ to Lucifer, HE is the reason Kelly got pregnant with Lucifer’s child then died.

Given himself up time and again? See above example in regards to a certain hell wall.

Yes, you people LOVE beating Dean.

@thedemoniccow said: @destiew-must-go Excuse me but: John is a Jackass and you cannot change my mind.

Right, YOU can have a negative opinion about John , but we aren’t allowed to dislike Castiel. You do know what the word ‘hypocrite’ means? (#1)

@thedemoniccow said: @starlightcandythings Supernatural. Over all he TRIES to be good. How many people have all the others murdered? A whole fuck load that’s how much. To be fair they tried to kill him first every time. It’s called self defense. If someone came at you with a knife you’d defend yourself.

Tries to do good? Yeah okay.

Outright murdered? None, as compared to the cold blooded murders of his brothers and sisters, including Balthazar.

@thedemoniccow said: mrspadaleckisworld Because I didn’t want to message you privately. Castiel is a great character. If you wanted to you could’ve just answered my question rather than making a whole post about it. I’m sorry that I like a relatable character. I was calmly asking a question. If you wanted to we could have remained sivil and I could have gotten my answer and maybe noticed a few flaws in an awesome character, but you had to go and make a whole post about it like the little bitch that you are. I’m sorry that I was trying to conduct a sivil conversation with someone who did seem to think it such a big deal. Honestly, you could’ve just said the reason why you hate him so much.

Reading comprehension is not your friend, since twice you addressed her and not me as the OP. You don’t want to message privately because YOU LOVE THE DRAMA. 

Castiel WAS a great character, now he is only a space saver. 

You also have spelling problems. You want to talk about being CIVIL? How about keeping YOUR opinions off my post. A post clearly tagged ANTI Castiel. You wanted to know why I disliked him but you don’t like the answers, that’s not my problem. 

I’m a little bitch? LMAO that’s good coming from you sport, YOU needed to respond to everybody on this post because you can’t STAND that your favorite character isn’t loved by everybody. 

@thedemoniccow said: It was really that easy. But instead you decided you wanted a metaphorical fire. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you your fire. I came here to have fun. If you are going to attack my fun then you can stop following my account, block me, and leave me alone. Just because I don’t have the same opinions that you do doesn’t mean we can’t talk without fighting. To late for that. Goodbye!!! Have fun trying to light your metaphorical fire with no fuel!!!! Have a great day!!!

If it’s so easy, then why did you leave so many replies? I didn’t want a fire, I was answering you question with examples of CANON. 

LMAO, ‘not giving you your fire’, right, that’s why you left all these replies. 

Never followed you, have no intention of following, would NEVER follow you. 

I wasn’t fighting, you are, sport.

@thedemoniccow said: Try to respect other people’s opinions while you’re at it!!

I thought you said ‘goodbye’? Idiot.

Respect other people’s opinions? You should practice what you preach. 

-------------------------

I log in this afternoon and find this message from the idiot, sent at 2 am:

If you want you to confront me on my opinion message me and we can talk. Seriously if you both were sivil you might understand how to accept one person's opinion as their own and just leave them alone about it. You might not like my opinion and that's okay. But keep it in your own fucking head. I'm respecting your opinions. I haven't said one thing against anything you like I've only said things promoting what I like. I asked you a simple question and you overreacted. If you want to argue do it somewhere else please. I have an opinion you have an opinion can we just respect each other's different opinions and get on with our lives

This is the problem with the children of tumblr, they don’t know when to let it go and move on. I guess I didn’t respond to all the above replies, so the fool decided a direct approach might get my attention even though he says you decided you wanted a metaphorical fire. I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you your fire. 

You might not like my opinion and that's okay. But keep it in your own fucking head. I'm respecting your opinions. LMAO, all this word vomit clearly shows that he DOESN’T respect our opinions. (#2) 

I haven't said one thing against anything you like I've only said things promoting what I like. “John is a Jackass” right any bells? (#3)

I asked you a simple question and you overreacted. So pointing out CANON is now considered “overreacting”? Okay 🙄

I have an opinion you have an opinion can we just respect each other's different opinions and get on with our lives. YOU are the one not getting on with your life, sport. 

[kylermalloy]

My Official Unofficial Ranking of Supernatural Seasons That Nobody Asked For

This was...surprisingly easy. For someone who has a hard time picking favorites, I’m apparently quite eager to throw some seasons of one of my favorite shows under the bus.

My reasonings for this ranking are...all over the place. Since I’m considering seasons as a whole, I look mostly at the overall narrative structure, the prevalent themes, and the major character arcs. I won’t take individual/one-off episodes into much consideration...except for when I do. I won’t like some seasons/story arcs for any rationale between “this was sloppily executed,” “the message is misunderstood by viewers,” or even just that gif of Chris Evans “I don’t wike it.” I’m trying to look at seasons and storylines objectively, but I guarantee my Sam!girl bias will peek through at some point. Also, I reserve the right to change my mind at any point after I post this!

From bottom to top:

14 - Season 14

Ah, the twilight years of SPN. Now that we know this is the penultimate season, I’m a bit more lenient toward its shortcomings. Long running shows usually do stutter to a halt, story-wise. But still. I’m not taking it out of the bottom spot.

What was this season even about? Michael overtaking Dean? Nah, that barely lasted three whole episodes. Jack becoming evil? Not until the last six episodes. Team Free Will becoming a cohesive family unit? Lol. For a season that tried to set up Jack’s evil arc as a kid betraying his family, I hardly saw this “family” except in fanworks. The most heartfelt moments remained between Sam and Dean (not that I’m complaining about that—I loved those moments!) Was there an overarching theme besides “nobody is okay, especially Sam”? Season 14 is clumsy, unfocused, and does a poor job of telling the story it tried to tell. Even Mary’s second death reeked of “well, we didn’t know what to do with her and we needed a tragedy.” Oh yeah, and John was back for a hot minute.

13 - Season 9

Here’s one of these weird seasons. I like it, but I don’t. It’s well done, but it’s terrible. Also, I’m taking fan response into consideration on this one, since it colored my perception of it so negatively.

Season 9 could have been great. In a way, it was great. It was Dean’s dark arc—the part of Dean’s dark arc that I like. I’m not here to debate, just lay out the story. Dean stepped over a line. He tricked Sam into possession, lied to him for months, then refused to apologize afterward. He took the Mark of Cain as a penance, but it blew up in his face and turned him into something worse than he was before.

This is where fan response comes in. Fandom (from what I can tell; I wasn’t here back then) vilified Sam for setting boundaries with Dean, overwhelmingly siding with poor Dean who just didn’t want to be alone. The show, on paper, wasn’t trying to make the audience think this, but the POVs were skewed in such a way that we hardly got a chance to see Sam’s perspective and Sam’s trauma—so casual viewers didn’t really have a choice.

On a completely unrelated note (see, this is why this season is ranked so low) we have the angel storyline. What could’ve been a really cool and impactful story of celestial beings walking the earth, as well as Castiel exploring his new humanity in a way (that wasn’t just about sex) ended up a trite, dull affair about underdeveloped politics and characters I don’t care about. Did Metatron (the supposed big bad) even care about the Winchesters? I can’t remember. Only the actor’s indulgently entertaining performance saves that character. Even Castiel’s human arc was so short and ignored I sometimes forget it happened. This was a season that was so all over the place—good bones, bad execution.

12 - Season 12

This season is just...forgettable. Yet another season that was so all over the place—but unlike season 9, the story arcs did not culminate in a cool twist that pushed the SPN story to new heights. We had the BMOL, Mary’s return, and the Lucifer/Kelly/Dagon/nephilim story, and...honestly I can barely remember anything about them. The twisting story threads got interlocked at some points, like Mary working with the BMOL, and Sam and Dean working with them to take down Lucifer, but the threads were all wrapped up independently. To me, this suggests a lack of true investment in the stories and season arcs. Ultimately, Mary’s return was utterly wasted, the BMOL might as well have never existed, and the Lucifer storyline is a bloody, bloated carcass being dragged along behind the show by a fraying rope (called Buckleming) complete with a bad smell.

The reason I rank this season above season 9 is that I don’t shudder when I hear people talking about season 12. I don’t generally get angry when I think about it (except the way they did Crowley dirty) and it did give us Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever given us. (I’ll elaborate on that in a minute)

11 - Season 10

This is the season in which I don’t like Dean’s dark arc. By that I mean...it wasn’t much of a dark arc. Instead of exploring Dean’s inner darkness and the choices that led him to take the MoC, we get a meandering season of (pretty enjoyable) one-offs. We are repeatedly told Dean can’t fight off what he truly is—except we’re also being told that Dean can’t truly control what the MoC is doing to him, meaning the MoC isn’t what he truly is. It’s a mixed message, and it ends up being too many episodes in a row of Dean staring moodily at his arm while he drinks. Sorry, an ancient tribal tattoo does not a compelling big bad make.

Speaking of bad guys, though, season 10 gave us Rowena! And more Crowley material! And the Stynes—wait, no. We don’t talk about...whatever they were.

I do like Sam’s determination to save Dean, and I even like the underhanded methods he used to get the MoC off. Charlie’s death was a horrifying shock, but it actually fed the story very well. And I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about individual episodes, but Soul Survivor and Fan Fiction are both epic.

10 - Season 8

...this season. This season is such a mixed bag you could almost rank it as two separate seasons! ;) This was Jeremy Carver’s first season as showrunner—and while I like what he ended up doing, I hated the way he played with the brother dynamics throughout the season, especially the first half. Season 8 starts out disjointed, very unconnected from the previous season. The story thread of “Sam didn’t look for Dean” is overplayed and very tired. Also a bit of a reach, considering the season 5 finale. My point is, Sam and Dean both act like pod people for the first part of this season. Dean is mad at Sam for...doing exactly what Dean himself did a few years ago (fandom misses the nuance of Dean’s hypocrisy and jumps right in the blame-Sam boat with him) and Sam is suddenly...living with a strange woman we barely get to meet and okay with not hunting anymore?

This is another example of the skewed POVs hurting the show’s message. We don’t get to see Sam’s grief the same way we saw Dean’s struggle in purgatory, and since Sam’s Amelia arc makes very little sense anyway, we’re forced to imagine it—and this is a disservice to both Sam and the overarching story.

However, the saving grace of season 8 is the second half. We get the bunker, the Trials storyline, which is a whump goldmine for my Sam-loving heart, and one of the best season finales this show has ever produced. I mean...they got married. In a CHURCH! I’m not really a wincester, but seriously how do you not ship it just a little when the show gives you stuff like THAT?!

*deep breath* I’m good. Moving on!

9 - Season 13

I...have a soft spot for this season. Anybody who follows me on here can probably guess why. That’s right, it’s Jack, the greatest fanon projection the show has ever gifted us.

Let me explain. The narrative structure of the season is a mess. The exploratory theme of Sam and Dean as parents is derailed by the fact that Sam and Dean spend less than six episodes with their surrogate child and spend the rest of the season spinning their wheels until it’s time for the finale. Lucifer as a villain doesn’t give a crap about the protagonists, which makes him a really boring and terrible antagonist—to say nothing of the fact that two of the writers try to make him sympathetic and end up assassinating the character harder than Michael!Dean did. I only found Scoobynatural mildly entertaining. As for Asmodeus...who’s that?

Basically, the only shining light in this season besides the brothers is Jack. And we don’t even get a consistent characterization of him. He’s essentially a blank slate, which means we as fans and fanwork creators get to make him whatever we want. While he’s supposedly the Winchesters’ kid in canon, it’s rarely shown—that falls on us as fans to make a reality. And boy do we make it reality! This is where I found my corner of fandom, and that’s why this mess of a season ranks relatively high for me. Still in the bottom half, but it gave me one of the greatest gifts the show has ever given.

8 - Season 7

I shouldn’t have to defend myself, but while most of the fandom harbors a little black spot of hatred for this season...I don’t. Like, at all.

I don’t agree with all the creative choices of this season—the Leviathans were an out-of-nowhere big bad with no connection to the Winchesters. However, the guy who played Dick Roman did a fantastic job hamming it up. And I love how all the pieces came together in the end—Sam and Dean, Cas, Crowley, even Meg as a surprise reluctant hero. We also got Charlie! And Kevin! Bobby got a fantastic arc, both before he died and from beyond the grave. And Crowley, even though he helped win the day, also rigged the game so he took all the pieces left on the board. Mad respect for my king.

Also, as a stalwart fan of Sam whump, Sam’s hallucination storyline was all kinds of awesome. (Except for how it abruptly ended and was never spoken of again)

I know objectively this season isn’t very good, but I still find myself rewatching it a surprising amount. I have a soft spot for Sera’s storytelling, and she did not have complete control over the creative decisions for this year. Season 7 only barely misses out of the top half.

7 - Season 3

This season is great, it really is. I think the main reason I rank it so low is because of the shortened season—Sam’s aborted arc. And that was obviously out of everyone’s control; the creators had to just pick up the pieces and make do with what circumstances gave them.

Basically, I don’t have anything bad to say about this season. It’s a brother-lovefest, it gives us Bela and Ruby, and yes we get some truly great one-off eps. Bad Day at Black Rock, A Very Supernatural Christmas, Mystery Spot, Jus in Bello, and Ghostfacers are among my favorite episodes to rewatch. I just mainly miss the end of Sam’s arc. Although I do appreciate the writers’ strike giving us Castiel instead, I still wish we could’ve gotten to see boyking!Sam save his brother.

6 - Season 2

While on the surface season 2 is barely different than season 1, it also gives us loads of gamechangers. It’s the coming-of-age season—Sam and Dean aren’t kids anymore; in fact, they aren’t anyone’s kids. The season bookends of John’s death and Sam’s death make a horrible tragedy that I don’t even care much what’s in the middle.

But then again, everything in between is so good. There’s not much of an overarching story, just a sense of dread and desperation as...something...draws near. (We don’t even know what it is, but it still scares us! It’s masterful!) The tone is consistent and effective, the brother dynamics are still balanced enough to fully enjoy, and of course...there’s Playthings. :)

(Y’all are gonna stop believing me when I say I’m not a wincester, I can feel it. What can I say, I have incestuous shipping tendencies.)

5 - Season 11

This is a season that I could tear limb from limb for falling so flat in the end, but...somehow I can’t bring myself to. I didn't find myself into the Amara storyline too much, mainly because the God/Darkness sibling dynamic wasn’t developed enough to parallel with Sam and Dean invest in. But this season does an awesome job of healing the brother dynamics. While seasons 8, 9, and 10 were fight-heavy, Sam and Dean spend this season in relative peace. In times of potential crisis, they band together instead of fracturing apart. And that, honestly, is enough for me to forgive...well, a lot, plotwise. The Dean/Amara connection that went nowhere, the Casifer storyline that went nowhere, the Darkness’s grudge against her brother that...went nowhere...and I’m not even going to touch on the Sam/Lucifer dynamic that started out SO GOOD and then...well...

Again, I’m not going to touch on it. I love this season despite its flaws.

4 - Season 1

Here it is. The season that started it all. I said I was going to consider mostly narrative structures for this ranking, yet here season 1 is without much of a narrative structure, fourth from the top.

The first season of a show is always the feel-around-in-the-dark season. This is where we learn the rules of the show, how the world works, and most importantly, who our characters are. We spend 22 episodes with the writers and actors just...figuring out who Sam and Dean are, most especially who they are to each other. They were so successful in this that they spawned a fifteen year phenomenon centered around this fraternal love story. As an additional plus, since the characters were so new, season 1 gives us the most balanced POV between the brothers. We get to feel for both of them without being pitted against each other, and I appreciate that more than words.

The horror is old-school, the storytelling can be a bit cliche, but every show has an origin story and I’m in love with this one.

3 - Season 6

Again, I love Sera Gamble’s storytelling. It’s most evidenced here in her first year of showrunning. This season had the astronomical task of following up season 5. How do you follow up the literal apocalypse?

...Astoundingly well. To me at least.

This season’s narrative structure is my favorite. It’s kind of a noir thriller, with more twists and turns than Supernatural usually gets. In fact, having now watched Vampire Diaries and The Originals, season 6 of SPN kind of echoes those shows. (I don’t think it’s coincidence that TVD aired its first season one year prior to this)

Instead of trying to outdo the literal devil (the mistake of latter seasons) we spend most of season 6 not knowing who the big bad is. We meet a few baddies, get backstabbed by former friends, and we’re told Raphael is a threat, but in the end the big bad was the friend we made along the way—Castiel. It’s depressing, it’s not what we expected, and it’s honestly a departure from “traditional” SPN. But I like it. I like it a lot. If Sera had been allowed to do more seasons like this, she probably would’ve stayed longer.

2 - Season 4

I love a lot of things about this season. The way they handled the angels was great—the right way to do unknowably powerful beings. I like Sam’s dark arc. It’s coupled perfectly with his good intentions and his all-consuming love for his brother. The plot twist at the end is perfect—Sam, in doing the right thing, unleashes the worst evil this world has (yet) known.

The tone is also perfect. It’s dark. A little edgier. Edging toward eldritch horror rather than ghost horror. Balanced out with light episodes that pack a hard punch in the feels regardless. And this is a little thing, but the color grading shifts back to more sepia after the technicolor of season 3. It gives us this little sense of dread throughout the season without even knowing why.

I could complain about the skewed POVs, about how fandom still sometimes crows “Dean was right about Lilith!” when all Dean opposed was Ruby and the demon blood—he wanted killed Lilith too. But as this instance of POV-warp serves the storyline in a good, necessary way, and Sam truly did need to be brought back from his dark path, I’m choosing to ignore it.

1 - Season 5

Are we surprised? Maybe some Sam fans are—I know some who get vexed about the blame for the apocalypse being solely and constantly placed on Sam...but I’m not. The overall story of season 5 is just so good. Lucifer is a good villain in this season. Sam and Dean have an excellent healing arc. The angels are good villains, also ironic mouthpieces of the overarching themes—despite touting “fate” and “unavoidable,” they are champions of free will, since they do whatever they want in their father’s absence. Zachariah most notably. Castiel was utilized in a good way (whereas now he struggles to still have purpose in the show) Bobby and Crowley both were good in this season (and also sparked a rarepair that’s—hilariously—canon) and this season did not pull any punches when it came to death. Even the main protagonists were shot point-blank halfway through the season! (Don’t talk to me about the samulet, I can’t do it without bawling)

And Swan Song remains my favorite season finale and overall episode. Dean relinquishing control of his little brother, allowing him to make the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of the world. I still halfway wish the series ended with Sam and Dean both throwing themselves into the Cage, destroying themselves for the world, out of love for each other. (insert “poetic cinema” meme)

And there we have it! To my mutuals, I’d love to hear your thoughts or your rankings. And to @letsgobethegoodguys - Steph, since this was so hard for you, I did it myself so I could feel your pain. 😘

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.19: “Jack in the Box”

THEN: Eh, you know all this. Oh, wait, here's something interesting - a reminder that Naomi was overcome by the Empty slime. Which reminds me of my theory that Naomi and/or Duma might actually be the Empty Entity. Hmmm. Oh, and also, all the Jack stuff.

NOW: There's a bunch of hunters in the bunker, drining beer and looking at pictures of Mary and her stuff on the map table. Including the picture Sam burned. Well, I'm glad it wasn't the only copy. And whatever these rings and calipers are that are always on the map table, apparently they're permanent, because they weren't removed for this little memorial display. Also, John's journal is part of the display, and I know they gave it to Mary to read, but still, it's John's. This bothers me.

So, are these surviving AU hunters? If not, that means the Winchesters have opened the bunker up to every hunter they know (and revealed its location to everyone they know), which is... not what I would have done. TFW makes an entrance (why were they not in there with their guests) and Dean thanks them for coming and makes a little speech but I'm finding it real hard to concentrate on Dean right now because LOOK AT SAM'S SHIRT. LOOK AT IT. It's CLOSE-FITTING and it's NOT PLAID and whatever awful things this episode does (and my completely unspoiled prediction is that IT WILL DO AWFUL THINGS), we at least got this.

I strongly suspect this is actually Jared's shirt.

Dean informs the gathered that they missed the pyre, sorry. And he mentions that some of them fought Michael with her in the other world so they ARE AU hunters! Or at least some of them! Well, that's good to know. Sam doesn't have to feel personally responsible for killing everyone who came over, just a handful. Including the only one who had a name, and probably that guy who called him Chief (sob), but some of them remain. Anyway. Dean gives his eulogy (and Sam's not the only worth a second look in this scene, because Dean looks pretty amazing as well) and they drink beer and then an AXE FLIES IN OUT OF NOWHERE, SLOWLY AND AWKWARDLY SPIRALING INTO A HUNTER'S HEAD. People seem surprised, but it's the mild kind of surprise you'd get if he threw his beer at somebody, not if an axe suddenly appeared embedded in his head. The thrower of the axe walks in - it's New Bobby. WELL.

Title card! Bobby informs me that it was a hatchet, not an axe, and he wants it back. (Sidebar: It literally never occurred to me to think about the difference between a hatchet and an axe until earlier this week when I was listening to a murder podcast that specified someone was killed with one, not the other.) He also tell us that the "hunter" was actually a wraith "from a nest your mom and I busted up" and SEE, GUYS? This is why you don't invite people to the bunker. Now a bunch of wraiths probably know where it is. And we know the warding is a joke. Cas thinks Mary would have appreciated a monster at her memorial. I don't think Cas knows Mary very well but whatever.

Bobby asks Sam how he and "the other one" are doing, and we watch Dean pack up Mary's belongings (including John's journal? that's going away?) and Sam says he "seems to be doing okay" which is, of course, how they operate. No one asks how Bobby's doing, even though he had a relationship with Mary too (and over the course of her life probably spent as much time with her as Sam did, when you come right down to it), but Bobby says he's not into public displays of grief anyway, and Dean is probably the same (which is true, except for when it's very very not true).

Sam suggests they drink the scotch Ketch left (and I wonder if this means Ketch came for the memorial, and left some scotch, or if he's referring to a bottle from a previous season that somehow remained through all those events that really would have called for some serious scotch-drinking) and talk about Mom. Dean points out that they have been talking about Mom and stalks out and leaves Sam sad.

Sam and Bobby and Cas settle for beer instead, and Dean walks in just as Bobby asks "what exactly happened to her, cause I'm hearing, the kid." Oh, that's interesting that they wouldn't have given him the whole story. Or maybe it's not. Maybe it makes sense that they'd keep things vague, tell everyone she "died on a hunt." Dean needs a drink, but not in the bunker. Sam tells him they need to talk about Jack, and he says "we will" and quickly makes his escape. Bobby and Cas have this funny exchange.

I liked the kid. We fought together. But there's only way this ends.

Bobby's right. We have to find Jack and help him.

What?

Hee! Cas feels Jack might not realize what he did was wrong, and Bobby astutely points out that if he didn't realize it was wrong, that's kind of a big problem, because if Kelly's influence has been burned away, that means Lucifer is all that's left. Bobby means to hunt him down. "An unstoppable monster who don't know right from wrong gets put down." Um, Bobby, let's consider the unstoppable part of that declaration. (Also, should someone point out to Bobby that Jack accidentally killed someone even back when he did have a soul? Probably not.)

Cut to Jack, who is still? again? at an abandoned warehouse or factory or something. He's remembering what he did, and wishing his mother was there to tell him what to do. Oh, she's not here, but Hallucidad is. He tells Jack that the Winchesters don't care about him, he was just a pet and a weapon, and again, it hurts knowing that this is Jack's subconscious saying these things. Jack thinks he can explain and apologize, and if that's so, Jack, then why didn't you do that when they caught you raising Mary's not-corpse? No, says Hallucifer, they hate you.

Cut to Dean, sitting outside somewhere in the dark, crying.

This is not okay. I mean, it is, but it's not.

Heaven. (yawn.) Cas again tells Duma that he wants to see Naomi, and again she denies him. It turns out Naomi is in "a very small cell" because Heaven was invaded under her watch. I didn't think they had enough spare angels around to lock one up just because they don't think she's a good leader. She might be a great follower. (Yeah, probably not.) Cas tells her he needs help looking for Jack, who has burned through his soul and is no longer being protected by the Winchesters. Hmmm, she says, this is very useful information to have. Internally. Out loud, she tells Cas she'll see what she can do, which he of course takes as an offer to help. Oh, Cas.

Bunker. Sam's working at his computer when Dean comes back. Sam's wearing a different shirt. I don't know if that means it's the next day, or just that he changed out of his nice funeral shirt. He asks Dean how he's doing, but Dean ignores that and asks what Sam's doing.

Trying to find Jack. We've gotta find him before Bobby and his crew, because if they find him first -

He's gonna kill them all.

... I don't know.

Oh, Sam, you DO know. You are obviously concerned about Bobby et al killing Jack, not the other way around. And it breaks my heart. Sam also wants to talk about Mary and the fact that they don't have to rely on faith to know Mary's in Heaven, because they personally know Heaven and angels are real. Dicks, but real. He says Mary's in a great place, with John, because again we're forgetting or denying what we know about Heaven. Dean, the eternal ray of sunshine, points out that there wasn't enough of Mary left to bring back to life even if they wanted to.

Back to Jack, who has a surprise visitor. It's Duma! Oh, cool, she's helping Cas find him, just like she said she would! Ha ha ha nope. (Sidebar: How did Duma find him, and why doesn't Cas have the same ability? Discuss.) He remembers her from his trip to Heaven that one time he died. She tells him Mary's death wasn't his fault, and he deserves redemption after his mistake, because he has "a glorious destiny." She tells him Heaven has fallen apart since God left, and no one gives them the respect they deserve, but Jack, YOU can save Heaven and make the world better and wouldn't that make Sam and Dean happy? Their first stop on the Make The World Better Tour is to turn a famous God denier into a pillar of salt. Oh, irony. (Also, he's safe from ghosts now, so. Bonus?)

Bunker. Cas is telling the Winchesters that Heaven promised to "make every effort" to find Jack. Which 1) isn't exactly what we saw happening, unless you're naive enough to think "I'll see what I can do" means "I'll make every effort", and b) even if that is what Duma said, as Dean points out, "Oh, Heaven promised? Great, well we should take that to the bank." But Cas thinks Heaven has as much reason to want to find Jack as they do. Which is true. But doesn't mean they're going to turn him over to you, Cassie.

Coincidentally, Sam has just read about Professor Pillar of Salt. "Why does that sound familiar?" Dean asks. You know, I don't know the Bible very well. If a particular event didn't show up in "Jesus Christ Superstar" or "The Ten Commandments," I'm not likely to be familiar with it. And yet I know about Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. And I've never been to Heaven or met an angel. So.

Cas explains the story and says no ordinary angel could turn a human into salt. Sam reads another story about a dishonest televangelist (yeah, I know, that's redundant) who had a crevice open in the ground under her and swallow her up, and again Dean's not familiar with the story, but this time I'm not either. But Cas knows it's from the book of Numbers. Allegedly, only Jack or Chuck himself could perform these acts.

Heaven. Duma tells Jack he's doing excellent work, and he can help bring Heaven back to its previous glory.

Sam and Dean will like that?

Words can't begin to express how Sam and Dean will feel.

Hee!

So let's talk about what's going on here. I appreciate that they're framing this as Jack trying to get back into Sam and Dean's good graces. In fact, I'm a little hopeful at this point. If Jack-who-is-being-used-by-Heaven is the Big Bad, doesn't that mean stopping the Big Bad could just mean they rescue him from Duma's manipulation? Maybe? (Yeah, I know. But a girl can dream.)

Anyway. Duma's next task for Jack is to create more angels. She tells him he can't make them out of thin air, but if a human is "predisposed" to it, he might be able to forge them into an angel. Oooooh, this opens up some chilling possibilities about who could be turned into an angel. But it turns out he's not going after anybody named Winchester. He's just sitting on the throne "where your grandfather received prayers" (and where your father sat) and listening to prayers. (Sidebar: Why hasn't Sam tried to communicate with Jack by praying to him? Discuss.)

For whatever reason, he hones in on one particular group of worshippers who are about to discuss the book of Samuel (hee!) with Pastor Ames. Jack zaps into the room, asks if they meant it when they said they wanted to go to Heaven, and shows them his wings. Sold! Pastor Ames missing that demonstration, so when he comes in and calls Jack a liar, Jack hits him with another Biblical curse: "he was eaten by worms and breathed his last." Pastor Ames falls to the ground with worms popping out of him everywhere, and Jack and his future angels disappear.

Hospital. Guys, look at the suits! Have they ever worn such narrow pants? What is going on here? Someone new in the wardrobe department?

Mama like.

Agents Kilmister, Clark, and Taylor (hee) are visiting bandaged-up Pastor Ames, who identifies a photo of Jack. They leave, and Cas recites the relevant verse and Sam says, surprised, "so you think this is another Bible thing?" AS IF THAT WASN'T WHY THEY'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, and as they leave, we see that Pastor Ames is not over his worm infestation after all.

Back at the bunker, Dean tells Sam that he didn't want it to come to this, but they have no choice. Come to what? What's behind the door in room 5B? It's the thing we all knew was coming - the box! (And if you didn't see it coming, the title of this episode clearly gave it away, which is why I consider titles of unaired episodes to be spoilers.) Sam, who is clearly not behind this plan in any way shape or form, points out that they don't have the ability to force Jack into the box, and he won't go in there of his own free will.

But he might. He might if he only has to stay in there long enough for us to finish the spell to fix his soul.

Spell? What spell? There is no spell.

*We* know that.

Oh, no, this is not good, and Sam already hates it.

... So, you want to lie to him.

No, I mean, I *want* Zeppelin to get back together. But what I *need*, what *we* need, is to stop Jack. Big difference. But here's the deal; we both gotta sign off on it. This might be our only shot, and if he even catches a whiff that this is a scam, he's off into the wind.

Exactly. Now, how do you think he's not gonna know something's up?

Because you're gonna be so damn sincere -

Me? Why me?

Because you've always been in his corner. You're his go-to guy. Sam, if you reach out, he'll come. If I do it, after what happened to Mom, I could lose him. I *will* lose him.

Oh no, no, no, Sam is SO not on board with this plan. Because the worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work, and the second worst thing is that it does work. Dean is so calmly insistent, and Sam is so unhappy, and his FACE when Dean tells him HE will be sincere is just killing me, and no matter what I think about this episode or or this entire story arc, I love what the guys are doing with this scene.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding a silver lining here.

Sam sits down at the library table and begins praying to Jack, which doesn't answer my question of why they haven't already tried communicating with him that way. In fact, it makes me ask it harder. He tells him that they're family, and bad things happen in families but they want to get through it, they want to be like they were before. Jack hears Sam's prayer as he assembles his future angels. Meanwhile, Cas has barged his way into Heaven to rescue Jack, having figured out that Heaven has no mercy and angels do bad things, and Cas? How is this POSSIBLY news to you? Duma threatens to end Mary and John's happy little afterlife together (Is this confirmation that they really are sharing a Heaven, even though his name isn't on the door? Maybe. Do I accept it? Not necessarily) so Cas stabs her. Well. We're down to, what, ten angels now? He calls for Jack, but Jack's already gone, having just appeared in the bunker.

Jack tells Sam and Dean he's been working with Heaven, and "if it helps, I regret it... the accident."

Again, the guys do a beautiful job with this scene. Even if it's an awful, awful scene, they're acting the hell out of it. Sam is as anxious as he was when he was trapped in a cell with Jack the day he was born, the way his hands twitch when he gets up from the table and circles behind Dean, and then carefully places himself between Dean and Jack, and how he physically reacts when Jack steps closer, and they're both keeping their distance and moving so carefully, and then there's the way Dean is practically unblinking and is very obviously working SO HARD not to spontaneously combust, staying practically motionless and keeping his voice even, although anyone could tell he's absolutely BOILING under the surface from the look on his face and his tone of voice every time he says the accident. All of this is amazing.

But yeah, it is also an awful scene. Because Jack isn't guilty or apologetic at all. He's actually kind of smug about working with Heaven and making angels, and very condescending about regretting "the accident," and I just don't think he would be there. I think he would tell them how sorry he was, and that he tried to fix it, and basically everything he said to Hallucifer. He wouldn't say "I knew you'd understand" when they tell him they forgive him. His blind self-assurance would make sense if it came at the end of a 2- or 3-episode arc, where Duma had spent more than a day telling him how awesome he was. So while I love Sam and Dean in this scene, love them to pieces, Jack is just... ugh. Beyond OOC. Moving on. Dean tells Jack they're working on a way to fix his soul, and they want to keep him safe (from having another ACCIDENT) in the meanwhile. Sam oh-so-tentatively puts a hand on Jack's shoulder and dear GOD he is so afraid and I LOVE IT.

Again, quite a silver lining to this dark little raincloud.

They take him to the room with the magic box, which Dean claims is "actually pretty comfortable." Dean stays still and Sam fidgets and Jack says "okay" and climbs into the box. "How long before I can come out?" he asks. Sam is more and more fidgety as he says "not too long," and Dean is like stretched rubber band about to snap as he holds himself back from slamming the lid down. "Jack, we got this," Sam lies. "Okay," Jack says again, and he lies down and they didn't even put a pillow in the damn box, why does he think this is okay, why does he think they're working in his best interest if they didn't even give him a damn pillow? Dean shuts the lid and rushes to close the locks and Sam hates this, hates it so much.

Shhh. Don't even listen. Just turn the sound down and enjoy the pretty, pretty angst.

Alone in the box, Jack calls to the Winchesters, but they're already shutting the door to room 5B. They move to the kitchen to finish off Ketch's scotch and talk about the future.

So what do we do now? Just go on, with Jack locked up in there forever?

We have to.

I don't know if I can do that.

Dean ignores Sam's shaky voice and decides to talk about the scotch and sure, we all recognize this is Dean's way of coping. Pretend it's not happening, pretend it doesn't bother him. Because I have to think that, no matter how much he wants revenge against Jack, he understands that being locked in that box forever is still a horrible fate. (A fate Dean was willing to accept, but still.) Sam, meanwhile, needs to talk, just like he needed to talk about Mary.

You know, I never thought it would end like this, with Jack.

Sammy, we knew from the beginning it was a long shot with him.

Yeah. Yeah. But, long shots are kind of our thing.

So let's talk about Sam's guilt. His beautiful, beautiful guilt. Not only over tricking someone he loves into being locked up in a box forever, but for bringing Jack into their lives in the first place. And yet. Jack has always been unstoppable, hasn't he? So if Sam hadn't opened his humongous heart and taken him in, he would have been out there alone. No one teaching him how to use and control his powers, no one keeping him away from Lucifer. He would have been an unstoppable enemy instead of an unpredictable ally. Sam did the right thing, even though it ended bad. Because it was always going to end bad.

Have I mentioned that I could watch an entire episode that was just Dean drinking?

Back in room 5B, Jack's starting to panic, and still calling for Sam and Dean. They don't show up, but Hallucifer does (oh god, I want to see Sam find out he basically locked Jack in that box with Lucifer) and informs Jack he's been played.

In the kitchen, Cas arrives with the news that Duma has been manipulating Jack, and they really need to find him. The guys are all, oh, whoops, forgot to call you, he's here, locked in the box.

Jack gets glowy eyes and tries to break out of the box, but nothing happens.

Cas is horrified that the guys still plan to keep Jack in the box, even knowing his latest acts were due to being manipulated. Sam says "That's the problem. If he's that easily manipulated, he's too dangerous to be out of the box." Oh, no he doesn't. Instead, Dean says "He agreed to it." Yes, in much the same way Sam agreed to be Gadreel's vessel. You keep telling yourself that, Dean. In fact, Dean is trying to claim that deep down, Jack knows it's best. Oh, no, no you don't. Cas points out that Dean manipulated Jack as much as Duma did.

(Sidebar: I'm convinced that Sam would be able to forgive Jack. Because of his endless capacity for forgiveness, and because he sees himself as being in Jack's shoes at a different point in his life. Dean, on the other hand, would not. Because Dean is a normal human being when it comes to forgiveness, and because Dean puts loyalty to family above everything else.)

Box. Jack tries harder. Lucifer laughs. The box glows.

Kitchen. The arguing is interrupted by an earth-shattering kaboom. Things fall off shelves. The red emergency lights and klaxon come on. TFW leaps up and runs to room 5B. The room is a smoke-filled wreck and a figure with glowing gold eyes is walking out of the red-tinged smoke. "Jack," Sam gasps.

Duh duh duuuuuhhhh! Next week, Cas makes Dean write I knew a nephilim was more powerful than its angel parent but I assumed the box would be stronger than Jack anyway 100 times on the blackboard.

Okay, the bad happened, as we all figured it would. But let's talk about the good. Jack's not locked in the box forever. That's a relief - it would have been a very unsatisfactory conclusion. And the guys looked extraordinary. And there was so much emotion, both the tightly-controlled type, and the worn-on-his-sleeve type, and I love them both. Honestly, considering what happened in this one, and who wrote it, it was a lot better than I expected. A lot better than it could have been. (Will I go read your reactions now and see that every single one of you disagrees with me? Quite possibly.)

Next week is the next-to-last "Carry On Wayward Son."

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Top 3 Supernatural Episodes Per Season

Warning: Spoilers below the cut. I am SUPER biased. Take everything I say with a HEALTHY grain of salt. 

Season 1: omg they look like INFANTS

1. “Home” 1x09. This episode is amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing AND it’s super important to the mytharch AND we get Winchester family drama. One of those early instances of “Wow we need to give Jensen Ackles an emmy like yesterday”. Mary turns up and foreshadows like??? so much??

2. “Scarecrow” 1x11. Super creepy, major “The Lottery” vibes, fuck I just. I love it. 

3. “Hell House” 1x17. Close call between this one and “Something Wicked” but in the end, Harry and Ed and all the hilarity that ensues just. *chef’s kiss* 

Honorable Mentions: “Something Wicked”

Season 2:  ugh so many good episodes season 2 is SO good

1. “The Usual Suspects” 2x07. SAM GETS TO BE SO SNARKY IN THIS EPISODE AND I LOOOOVE IT. Also Diana is a bamf. 

2. “Croatoan” 1x09. UGH YASSSSSSS. Close call between this and “In My Time Of Dying”, though

3. “What is And What Should Never Be” 2x20. Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m cheap as all get out. Dean angst? Gimme gimme. Also it has WYNONNA EARP IN IT.  

Honorable Mentions: “In My Time of Dying”, “Nightshifter” 

Season 3:  half of these episodes suck, the other half are perfect heeeelllppp

1. “Bad Day At Black Rock” 3x03. This episode it just hilarious from start to finish. Also, Bela vs. Dean. 

2. “Mystery Spot” 3x11. A double whammy of HILARIOUS and OH FUCK THIS IS DEPRESSING. 

3. “Jus In Bello” 3x12. It was real hard to decide between this and Ghostfacers but ultimately, Nancy Fitzgerald (aka Ella Lopez) and Victor Henrikson are the actual best and deserve all the love ever.  

Honorable Mentions: “Ghostfacers”, “The Kids Are Alright” 

Season 4: Somehow there is only one episode that is not stunningly amazing?? 

1: “On the Head of A Pin” 4x16. Cas becomes a main character and it is AMAZING and oh my god give Jensen ALL the emmys oh and ALSO we finally learn exactly what Sam and Ruby’s “extracurricular activities” entail. Feels like a movie. We get the reveal that the angels are working to break the seals. Anna is also amazing. Why is this episode so beautiful. I’m fucking crying and so is Dean. I could gush for hours. 

2. “It’s a Terrible Life” 4x17. This episode is just a fucking delight. (Am I giving it such a high score on the basis of The Kink’s “Well Respected Man” alone? Maybe. Honestly I SHOULD be putting Rapture here but oh well. I’m biased.) 

3. “Monster Movie” 4x05. It was hard to decide between this “In the Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “The Rapture” and “Lucifer Rising” (which all deserve all the praise ever) but ugh ugh ugh this episode is ALSO perfect AND I love it a bajillion. It’s in black and white and the guest actress is SO pretty and also I think I’ve already gone into detail about how the MoTW is a Lucifer Parallel. Also Dean says he’s been rehymenated so TRANS!DEAN RIGHTS! 

Honorable Mentions: “In The Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “Lucifer Rising” “The Rapture” 

Season 5: You want to be sad? You also want to watch really good TV? SEASON FIVE IS WHERE IT’S AT! 

1. “Two Minutes To Midnight” 5x21. I know, I know. I should be putting “Swan Song” here but look,, I am easily bought with the promise of Julian Richings as Death. 

2. “Free To Be You And Me” 5x03. Funny Destiel buddy cop film, Sam gets to be filtered through the eyes of an audience-stand-in in universe, also contains Castiel’s ICONIC line “but today you’re MY little bitch”. 

3. “Dark Side of The Moon” 5x16. Narrowly beats out “My Bloody Valentine”, “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, and “The Song Remains The Same”. I am trash for any pieces of Sam and Dean’s childhoods and also this episode gives me SO MUCH material for beating up John with a baseball bat. 

Honorable Mentions: “Swan Song” “My Bloody Valentine” “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid” “The Song Remains The Same” “The End” 

Season 6: We Don’t Talk About Season Six. 

1. “The Man Who Would Be King” 6x20. Cas. Destiel. Ow. 

2. “Mommy Dearest” 6x19. Eve! Sam Smith! idk, I just really like it.

3. “Appointment In Samarra” 6x11. As I said, I am easily bought with Julian Richings. Tessa the Reaper!!! Sam stop trying to murder your father. 

Honorable Mentions: “You Can’t Handle The Truth” “My Heart Will Go On” “Weekend At Bobby’s”

Season 7:  Terrible reputation given the fact that it has SO many great episodes. Sera Gamble? You’re mean. 

1. “Slash Fiction” 7x06. Why is this episode so hilarious???? Robbie Thompson starting out with a BANG!

2. “Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie” 7x14. In the total goop of “thick. black. ooze.” of this season, 7x14 is a light in the darkness. Every inkling of joy, of spark, of color, of childishness, all of it, poured out into this one episode, wherein Sam totally loses his cool and I love it. Sam looks so pretty at the end. Dean is simultaneously an actual child and an actual Dad and I love it. 

3. “Out With The Old” 7x16. I love me some levis, man, don’t know what to tell you. It’s just so fun!!

Honorable Mentions: All of Robbie’s episodes, “Hello, Cruel World” “Repo Man” “Reading Is Fundamental” “How To Win Friends And Influence Monsters” 

(The ONLY reason I’m not including TBAI is bc @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs is slowly converting me to hating Megstiel enough to not watch Destiel episodes) 

Season 8: That one season where we admitted that Crowley’s a DICK. 

1. “Hunteri Heroici” 8x08. CAAAAS!!! Also the only episode where anyone watching actually gives a shit about the Sam x Amelia flashbacks. 

2. “LARP And The Real Girl” 8x11. Super fun! CHARLIE RETURNS. Dean is a FUCKING NERD. Sam gets flirted with :) Real close tie between this one and Pac-Man Fever

3. “The Great Escapist” 8x20. Edlund really gave it his all for this last episode. Cas kicks SO much ass. Sam needs to be protected at ALL costs. Kevin ALSO kicks SO much ass. The actor who plays Sweet Pea on Riverdale is here??? Wow.  

Honorable Mentions: “Pac-Man Fever” “As Time Goes By” “Everyone Hates Hitler” “Trial And Error” 

(See note on The Born-Again Identity for why Goodbye Stranger is not on this list. Again, blame @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs )

Season 9: Sam is mad at Dean for not letting him go

1. “First Born” 9x11. No, I will not elaborate. Tim Omundson speaks for himself. There is nothing wrong with this entire episode and if you try to tell me there is I can and will gut you like a fish. 

2. “Heaven Can’t Wait” 9x06. DESTIELLLLLLLLLLLL. 

3. “Do You Believe In Miracles?” 9x23. Wow it’s the first Season Finale to make it to my top 3!! Metatron gets what’s coming, DEAN BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON. 

Honorable Mentions: “Bad Boys” “Mother’s Little Helper” “Alex Annie Alexis Ann” “Meta Fiction”

Season 10:  Dean is mad at Sam for not letting him go

1. “The Executioner’s Song” 10x14. See my comments on “First Born”. 

2. “Angel Heart” 10x20. BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY. DESTIEL. JIMMY X AMELIA. COOL UNCLE SAMMY. DEAN IS A NERD. DEAN IS CLAIRE’S DAD NOW SORRY NO TAKE BACKS. (also, “blue eyes crying” is just ugh ugh ugh)

3. “The Werther Project” 10x18. SAMWITCH RISE!!!!!!!!!!! 

Honorable Mentions: “Hibbing 911″ “The Prisoner” “The Things We Left Behind” 

Season 11: Ahh, yes. You. Lucifer. Get fucked. 

1. “Don’t Call Me Shurley” 11x20. *slow clap* Robbie Thompson, you have served your country well. 

2. “Red Meat” 11x17. This is gonna sound strange, but this episode is sorta my comfort food?? I’ve watched it literally so many times. I love it. So much. 

3. “The Chitters” 11x19. Nancy Won wrote three episodes for SPN, all in season 11, they are all stellar. Chitters is GAY. She also wrote “Don’t You Forget About Me” and “Thin Lizzie” I’m putting them here so as not to crowd up the Honorable Mentions.

Honorable Mentions: “The Vessel” “Devil In the Details” “We Happy Few” “Baby” “Form And Void” “Into the Mystic” honestly just watch every non-bucklemming episode they are pretty much all amazing. 

Season 12: I WILL DEFEND MARY WITH MY LIFE DON’T @ ME 

1. “The Future” 12x19. DESTIEL. I would die for Kelly. Fetus!Jack. GOODBYE DAGON!! THE MIXTAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. “Who We Are” 12x22. JUST KILL ME WHY DON’T YOU, BOBO?! WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO. 

3. “Stuck In the Middle (With You)” 12x12. Destiel love confession!!!!!! Drowley!! Mary will fight everyone willingly!! SAM GETS THE ORANGE JACKET

Honorable Mentions: Every. Single. Non-BL. Episode. Watch. Them. Now. 

Season 13: JAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!! 

1. “Advanced Thanatology” 13x05. *inhales deeply* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Also, Steppenwolf. 

2. “Beat the Devil” 13x21. DICK JOKES GALORE. Also, we must protect Sam at all costs. Gabena is perfect. Samwitch is also perfect. Sabriel is also good. Lucifer can go fuck himself. 

3. “Breakdown” 13x11. It physically pains me not to put “Funeralia” here but alas, I must not show Steve Yockey too much favoritism. Anyways. DONNA!!! DOUG!! CREEPY!!! SAM’S HEART IS WORTH SO MUCH MONEY!! GIVE SAMMY A HUG!!

Honorable Mentions: “The Scorpion And The Frog” “Funeralia” “The Thing” “The Bad Place” “The Big Empty” “Lost And Found” 

Season 14: 

 1. “Moriah” 14x20. Proof that Supernatural will go down in history as ALMIGHTY. GOD IS THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN.

2. “Peace of Mind” 14x15. I still haven’t recovered. Jared must have had literally all the fun in the world. 

3. “Mint Condition” 14x04. Yay!! Very fun!!! (I wanted to put Optimism here, but again, I can’t show Yockey so much favoritism. It’s not my fault! he’s too good!!) 

Honorable Mentions: “Optimism” “Ouroboros” “Unhuman Nature” “Byzantium” “Damaged Goods”

[bluesclves]

Hey Scoob, I really love your blog about the Archangels and I would like to ask you one thing, how would you do a redemption arc for Lucifer? How would you reformulate the plot of s12 and s13 on Supernatural aimed at him? I imagine they could make him have the following thoughts about humanity: "I have nothing in favor of humanity but now I also have nothing more against."

Well actually, I’m writing a fanfic series about just that 😅 [Link]

Granted, I did the ‘lucifer becomes human’ trope well before season 13 thought to do it, and I had it stick as opposed to it being another half-assed 1-2 episode long arc.

But if I were to honestly re-write the show starting with season 12, following similar arcs for the boys?

I think I’d start by finding a way to give Lucifer a reason not to run back to the Winchesters at the beginning of Season 12. There really was no reason for him to go off on a rampage like that when they actually took his side against Chuck and got him the apology he’s so desperately wanted. Sure, Chuck still left… but that’s not the Winchester’s fault. They were on Team Save the World together, there’s no reason for them to be hunting Lucifer down and there’s no reason for Lucifer to assume they are no longer friendly to him.

If he came to them with his vessel issues and his injuries, they likely would have worked with him to find a stable vessel—which could lead to Crowley revealing he has Nick and giving the vessel to him freely so that he has a trump card via the magical enhancements in case he ever needs to use Lucifer or stop him.

But! I’d give him a reason not to come back. Just because the writing for that was lazy doesn’t mean I don’t like the drama associated with Lucifer “busting dad’s already-broken toys”. I actually really liked that scene in Rock Never Dies, I thought Rick Springfield delivered those lines fantastically and it gave me a little hope again that the Writers did actually see Lucifer’s potential as a deeply broken and flawed character— not just a villain for villainy’s sake.

Don’t get me wrong— I love Lucifer as an antagonist, he makes for a fantastic enemy of the Boys. But the caveat to that is that despite being an antagonist, he isn’t a traditional villain. His goals in season five were, from his point of view, wholly noble and just. He believed he was the good guy. In season 11, he also believes that he’s the good guy. He’s agreeing to fight Amara, after all. In seasons 12 & 13 however he loses that, and we see him becoming evil for the sake of being evil and it just doesn’t fit with his character so far as we have seen him.

So in order to both give him his redemption arc and maintain his status as a Lawful Good (which doesn’t mean Lawful Nice) Antagonist, I’d give him a very good reason not to return to Team Save The World.

What that reason not to come back could be anything as simple as “he came back to the bunker only to overhear that they are hunting him down” to as complex as “he hasn’t found a vessel that can hold him yet and he’s burnt through so many at this point that he’s afraid to go back out of fear that they won’t forgive him for something he honestly couldn’t help”.

Whatever the reason, I’d show it in some way from his point of view so it is clear why he goes off the deep end and just start smashing shit. I did actually like that, though I wish they portrayed it less as “he’s throwing a temper tantrum because he didn’t get his way” and more like “everyone thinks I’m a monster and my father left AGAIN so fine, if they all want me to be a monster so bad, I’ll give them a monster.”

The biggest problem I had with that arc in season 12 is that he invests himself so much in high-power religious and political figures, then uses that power just to make the Winchesters’ lives hell. He doesn’t effect any serious governmental changes as the president, he doesn’t make any decrees as the archbishop… it was honestly just fanservice and then he used that power to make Sam & Dean Public Enemies #1. That, and he fucked a random nobody Because The Plot Demands It.

That’s really something I could never wrap my head around. Lucifer is disgusted by humans. He sees them as filthy, unclean, base creatures.

What logical reason does he have to sleep with Kelly rather than turn her into wall paint at the mere suggestion that he might want to sleep with her? They made it seem like a little pressuring from an aide was enough to get Lucifer to set aside his distaste for humanity and sleep with her, despite showing earlier I’m the season how he manipulated another woman into carving his name into her own skin just for insinuating he might be interested in her.

What feasible reason did he have to sleep with Kelly? Fear of discovery? He obliterates her and cleans up the mess, snap-snap. Who’s gonna know? It’s not like he planned to be in that position long-term.

I really hate Kelly as a character however, in part because she was written to be expendable and I HATE characters that serve no purpose other than fodder. If you kill a character it should mean something.

So here’s how I would give us a Jack/Nephilim arc without stupid Lucifer Fanservice and Kelly and the dumb supermax prison break. Are you really gonna tell me that Billie wouldn’t just come and collect one of them as per their deal once she became Death-with-a-capital-D?

Lucifer is angry, he’s been betrayed by his Dad and he couldn’t go back to the Winchesters, and he’s just smashing shit and making their lives hell because he’s directing his anger at them. Because God or Amara gave them their mom back but left him with nothing. Again.

So he goes for the one person that can hurt them most— their mom. He comes to her when she’s still unsure about her place in this world and after she just slept with Ketch and is mostly a little disgusted with herself for stopping so low.

He goes to her in a dream as John, and tells her her husband is still suffering in Hell after all these years. But he can give her John back if she says yes. John is more familiar in this world anyways, he reminds her, the boys really need their father, someone they can count on.

And he possesses Mary, literally less than an hour after she had sex with Ketch. She doesn’t even have the chance to take morning-after pills. So she conceives and while the fetus matures an archangel is possessing her, so it draws power from him too to grow.

Bam, a nephilim (who will be an actual half-brother to Dean and Sam), being carried by a decidedly not expendable character, so there is actual urgency to the Boys’ attempts to save their mother.

You get Mary!Lucifer carrying a baby and slowly coming to the realisation that this can be his new purpose. It was an accident… but he is also this child’s parent and he has a responsibility to it. Maybe his Father left him and the world thinks he’s a monster... but this baby doesn’t k ow him yet and he will be a better Father than his own.

You get him changing tactics from using Mary to taunt the Winchesters to Playing keep-away and hiding from them to protect her and his child.

We can still have them eventually pinning Mary!Lucifer down and exorcising him from her, with Crowley trapping Lucifer in Nick, because I love it, but I think Mary carrying the Nephilim and Lucifer getting off his warpath and onto the path to parenthood is a much better arc for both those characters than the arcs they’ve been given thus far.

As for season 13? If we assume season 12 ends similarly to how it did, with Jack still being born but Sam and Dean finding a way to keep Mary alive throughout it, then you get Mary and Lucifer trapped in the apocalypse world together, we can get similar scenes to the almost-beautiful shows of character development through those short conversations Lucifer had with Mary. Only she’d have more insight into his thought process now, so we could get more in-depth conversations, and perhaps a tentative friendship as he continues to protect her despite her no longer carrying his child.

My biggest change to season 13 would be keeping Lucifer human longer. It’d be focused on transitioning the role of main villain from Lucifer to Apocalypse Michael, or Asmodeus. Lucifer may not be in the story as much, but the scenes he does have would develop his understanding of what it means to be human and what it means to be a father, coming to a head when he regains enough grace (through either Anael or natural means) to be formidable and rather than go it alone, asks the Winchesters to help him find his son. I’d preferably have him not be stupid and just stay tagging along with Cass after the Escape From Asmodeus.

I’d force him to experience humanity, to have to understand what it means to live knowing you are mortal and might die at any time. If he managed to work his way into the bunker via Cass, I’d focus on him rebuilding his role as a member of a family, giving and receiving help from the Winchesters in different ways.

He’d get his redemption arc, and then I’d have all his lessons and growth culminate in self-sacrifice at the end of season 13. Someone has to keep Michael in the Apocalypse World. Everyone else has to get across. So he tells the others to go through and he holds Michael off for as long as he can.

Maybe people would be upset for killing him off after finally redeeming him— but Supernatural isn’t about Lucifer, it’s about the Winchesters. And if I gave them an ally that powerful, there’s very little left to challenge them. So I’d have to kill him off in order to let the story continue.

But at least that way, he’d have the noble death he deserved, rather than being put down like the beaten horse he’s become.

…

Anyways, I agree with your thoughts of Lucifer deciding he still doesn’t love humanity but he doesn’t actively hate them anymore because that is actually the impression I got in seasons 12 & 13. His beef was with specific people, not humanity as a whole. He was angry with God and with tfw, and that’s it.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the Essay!

[go-diane-winchester]

Sam has no right to be called Jack's father apparently

It is my tagging policy never to tag anything in the anti tags, because headcanons, like the Dr Sexy one, ends up becoming a stupid con question.  And when Jensen fittingly answers that destiel doesn't exist, he called a homophobic so loudly, that mass media hears the accusation.  Not to mention the various threats that hellers throw at J2.  Now I have no problems with headcanons, as long as you keep it in your sandbox, labelled correctly as a headcanon and don't convince other people that it is true.  Look at the tagging on this monstrosity that an awesome person directed me to. 

It was written by someone called @sassycaslovesdean who wrote the post ''Destiel is canon already''.  And this is how she tags it.  Kindly excuse my highlighting efforts.  I am getting vintage.  All the tags that are highlighted should not be attached to this post because they have nothing to do with this post.  Even Castiel is a general tag.  Destiel fans don't have a monopoly to it, in fact some Cas fans hate destiel.  I am uncertain about supernatural and unhuman nature, but if I was a destiel shipper who was not looking for trouble, I would have tagged this big bucket of delusion as #destiel #headcanon.  That's it.  Nothing else is needed. 

Of course, disgruntled people told @sassycaslovesdean about her tagging, so it isn't like she doesn't know.  She knows.  She just doesn't care.  What a coincidence.  Neither do I. 

One person, and I absolutely chuckled about this, simply said:

Before proceeding to tell the OP off about her delusion.  I don't blame that person at all.  In fact, I am inspired to follow suit.  @sassycaslovesdean, ​ I will never tell you how to tag.  I will carry on tagging the way I deem fit because clearly I am not the only one doing that.  Since you put this stupid post in the public domain, I guess that is an invitation to tear it apart.  Invitation accepted. 

The first word Jack said was Father.  And he said it to the first human he ever saw.  And that was Sam.  Cas died for no reason, woke up in the Empty, irritated the entity who lived there and got flung back to Earth.  That entire storyline was useless and didn't add anything to the seminal storyline.  It also took away from Crowley's sacrifice.  Cas had no reason to die.  And he had no reason to come back because there is literally nothing for him to do in the script.  If you remove him, nothing will change in the script or in Jack's life.  The reason Jack assumed that Castiel was his father, was because Kelly made that decision for him.  She probably assumed that this tough angel wont be stupid enough to get himself killed the minute her baby is born.  He didn't choose Castiel.  He and Sam chose each other.  Castiel was dumped on him.  I guess the same way Castiel is dumped on the Winchesters and the rest of us.  And Castiel is more like a babysitter.  Sam leaves Jack in Cas's pointless company whenever he goes away. 

Really?  Is something wrong with your eyes?  Because I know Sam was freaking out from the bunker all the way to hospital.  Dean and the babysitter stood there while Sam fretted.  Dean is more like an uncle.  Uncles do cool stuff with their nephews like take them fishing and on road trips.  He had never nurtured Jack.  Neither has Castiel.  Sam, and only Sam, has done that.  Every single time Dean and Cas are in the frame, the director is not sending you secret subtexts.  They are just in the same frame.  That's it.  There is no secret destiel subtexts coming to you through props, camera angles, and blocking.  You are embarrassing yourself.

There is only one ''I love you'' in canon.  The one that was excluded was Jensen's decision.  He didn't want to say I love you to Castiel.  Canon counts.  Scripts don't.  The only reason why you know about the deleted ''I love you'', is because Misha told you, even though he was instructed not to.  And Jensen got abused for it on the internet.  But Misha is totes a true friend, right?  Profound bond is angel-speak for best friend.  For someone who likes the character, you don't know much about him.  He doesn't speak like normal people.  Profound bond is not proof of canon destiel. 

Dean and Cas are NOT raising a child together.  They don't even have that much screen time together, something that Jensen confessed to enjoying.  Dean only recently started to bond with the boy, whom he initially wanted to kill.  I don't blame him.  Jack is a spawn of satan and Dean reacted the way I expected him to.  It gels with his character.  Of course, hellers who had already cooked up the ''Dean and Cas are going to raise a baby together'' delusion in their goldfish brains, were very angry that Dean was not being all Papa Bear, and [wait for it] wanted him off the show.  I saw the outbursts on Wayward Winchester's YouTube channel. 

When Sam died, Jack yelled at Cas to bring him back.  Jack didn't want to lose his father.  When Luci pit father and son against each other, Jack was willing to kill himself rather than hurt his father.  And he said ''I love you'' before he could kill himself.  Are you blind?  Did you not see that?  You know how I know he said I love you.  Its in the canon.  That is how I know.  And Luci refered to Sam as ''daddy Sammy''.  Nobody contradicted him.  Are you deaf?  Did you not hear that? 

Anytime anyone has plans for Jack, they ask for Sam's permission.  Even Dean follows that unspoken rule.  That is the decent thing to do.  You ask for a father's permission before going anywhere near his kid.  Especially a father like Sam who will kill you on the top if you go anywhere near his son without his permission.  When Jack dreams, its about Sam and Dean, not about Cas.  Maybe that is why he said ''You did the same thing with your father'' when referring to Dean going fishing with John.  Maybe Jack wants Sam AND Dean to be his fathers.  That's why he dreams about them.  And NOT Cas.

Cas is excluded because Cas is not even an afterthought.  He is an obligation Mommy dumped on Jack.  And a very pointless one at that.  And Alex sharing a resemblance with Misha is subtext?  Don't be stupid.  Alex looks like Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack Dawson too.  Does that mean, Dawson is going to make an appearance on Supernatural covered in ice, claiming parental rights over Jack?  I know that sounds stupid, but so does your meta.  That was the face the poor kid was born with.  Leave him alone, silly heller.  Stop reminding the poor child.  Because Misha does that already.  Imagine telling a child ''I think your mother slept with me.''  Yes, that is so funny.  That is not crossing any lines of decency at all.  Alex's father must love this guy.

Thanks to all the people who inadvertently contributed to this posts by lashing out at the heller.  You guys reminded me of many things.