#keeping my expectations low so im not disappointed

[perfectlycleverduck]

So this was the movement Caco was talking about when he said they will be some movement but not from Carlos they already knew Nico was signing which means they are actively discussing with Sauber/Audi 🥲

[risubisu]

score predictions for my periodical exams !!!

- science, bio 1: 32/50 (64%)

- english: 38/50 (76%)

- social studies: 37/50 (74%)

- analytic geometry: 12/40 (30%)

- bio 2: 31/50 (62%)

- filipino: 30/50 (60%)

- values: 35/60 (70%)

- maths: 33/60 (66%)

- research: 14/30 (47%)

[favvnsongs]

lmao making supper and it'd be cool if the bf would take the puppy outside to go potty but no of course basketball is on and the last time I asked him to take her out while I was making supper he got kinda "she's your dog anyways" snippety and then frus when she wouldn't automatically follow him back in so I had to go out Anyways and bring her in from the backyard and it's like. anyways it's 15° outside and I'm waiting for the puppo to do her potties while he gets to eat his supper in peace and when I go back in I'll clean the counters and load the dishwasher and pack up leftovers and Then Maybe!! get to sit down and eat my food lmao

[just-jordie-things]

Okay FIRST. OF. ALL

THAT YUJI FIC FOR STEF WAS SO URBFDINDUENFU IT WAS SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD im rolling in my sheets

And just a little thought, we all know how Yuta can mimic other abilities, or clone them if you will. I'm laid here just thinking, would he ever clone cursed speech, for the sake or sex? I feel like softie Yuta no....

But low-key yandere obsessed crazy Yuta? 🤨

GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET SMUTTY THEMES UNDER THE CUT OBVIIII....

ok ok ok let's talkaboutit

the first time yuuta uses cursed speech in bed he's not really thinking. he's probably lost in going down on you and you keep trying to close your legs on him and while he loves having his head between your thighs you're making it hard to eat you out!! he just wants to make you feel good.. so when you struggle to listen when he tells you to open your legs... it just sorta happens.

he says it again and you feel your muscles tense as they obey his command all on their own. you look down at him and find the familiar markings of the inumaki on his face (and his tongue which is still on full display as he hasn't stopped lapping at your pussy- he's a man starved, really) and you're shocked.

he is too ofc... he didn't mean it... but he's certainly not disappointed so he goes about on his merry way eating you out until you're crying and shaking.

he brings it up later, apologizes and explains himself, but he's excited when you tell him it was actually kind of hot... so expect it to come up again in the future because yuuta very much enjoyed having you submit to him like that <3

softie yuuta and yandere yuuta are two sides of the same coin. so whether or not he abuses his copy technique is entirely up to how well you behave...

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[crescentmel]

i watched the x-men films for the first time ever here are my thoughts *spoilers obviously* :D

small backstory: i was going to go watch Deadpool & Wolverine however i have seen the previous deadpool movies but i’ve never watch the x-men films at all, my knowledge of that universe is minimal. my coworker suggested i at least watch Logan before watching Deadpool & Wolverine so i did.

Logan is easily one of the best Marvel films i have ever watched in my life, like top 3 films for sure it was amazing im still thinking about this movie weeks later. so i watch Deadpool & Wolverine and realize im low key obsessed with logan so might as well watch all the x-men films ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALSO I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE FROM THE COMICS DONT COME FOR ME

The Original Trilogy

Overall i enjoyed the first two films, i think The Last Stand might be my least favorite of the whole franchise im not gonna lie

i’m just gonna say it, i was so not here for the Logan & Jean romance, like im kind of a hater so if this upsets you than this post is not for you lmao

ADORED JEANSCOTT WITH MY HEART AND SOUL !!! THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE !!!!

Right of the bat, Logan & Jean’s romance felt SO forced. like it wasn’t believable for me, in the first movie it felt like Logan decided he was in love with Jean, not that he is actively falling in love with her, it was kinda weird

Meanwhile you can like clearly tell that Scott & Jean are in love with each other, but it feels like Logan’s character is just disregarding that

I understand in the comics it’s supposed to be a love triangle of sorts, i just think that if they wanted to do that for the films they could have portrayed it better

Ororo is an angel i love her

charles & eric need to make out

scott summers you ball of sunshine

i’m glad the rogue crush thing died in the first film bc ohmygod that was hard to watch

my favorite is X2 of this trilogy i really liked the plot and how it expanded more into Logan’s story

The Wolverine Trilogy

Origins wasn’t like, super terrible? i guess? my least favorite of this trilogy for sure though

i liked the plot twist that his girlfriend of 6 years was manipulating him, i didn’t see it coming, i was like WOW that’s fucked up

was disappointed he forgave her like wtf 😭

deadpool thing was weird i didn’t like that

good film to learn logan’s backstory, his brother was so fucking annoying though

The Wolverine was a decent film, if ur looking for an x-men film that’s more action centric than mutant centric this is your film

it felt like a wolverine side quest lol, nothing crazy going on, but i liked it more than Origins

logan is just tired

snake lady’s powers were cool

this girl is never going to see logan again so at least she got what she could

it goes without saying that Logan 2017 is the best film in the whole x-men/fox franchise

i could definitely make a whole post going into a deep dive of Logan but i’ll just keep it short

Logan’s dedication to taking care of Charles warms my heart in a way you cannot imagine, he truly cares so deeply for that man, charles gave him the opportunity of having a new family and i feel like logan will always be grateful for him

Logan & Laura :’)

it was like watching Logan go from only caring about kids in a “i’m a teacher” way to seeing Laura in a “i’m her caretaker now” kind of way, like there was a shift in his character that he wasn’t expecting

my little family of three that definitely lived happily ever after

my favorite scene of the whole film was when Logan realizes that it was his clone self that stabbed Charles, and his immediate gut reaction was to say “It wasn’t me” and to reassure Charles that Logan would NEVER do that

so that Charles would never die thinking one of his closest friends (AND SON FIGURE) would ever betray him like that and kill him

LIKE THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO LOGAN, HE DIDNT WANT CHARLES TO DIE THINKING HE KILLED HIM ;_________;

Logan 2017 the film that you are

X-Men Prequel Films

oh boy here go

right off the bat i’m going to say Days of Future Past exceeds all four of these films, so fucking good, my favorite after Logan

but yeah First Class wasn’t like, terrible per say, i just found myself a little bored ngl

absolutely here for eric & charles love story, they’re literally friends to lovers to enemies to still lovers but they’re still enemies i adore it

i liked the character that mystique brought (& jennifer lawrence) but it was just such a jump from the mystique in the first films

also i just think that if eric wants to kill his abuser then he should go for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just saying charles it was a lil weird u wanted to stop him

i get the premise, setting up the basis of the x-men, but i just found it a little lacking

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

amazing 10/10 movie, i genuinely enjoyed every second, actually felt like a superhero movie

great balance of logan not knowing what the fuck is going on vs charles knowing exactly what to do next & logan just going along with it i love it

i’ve heard legends of how amazing quicksilver is in these films and this went beyond my expectations, fantastic character AND amazing showcase of his powers, the writers cooked on this, also makes me want to rewatch wandavision bc i didn’t appreciate his character enough son i’m so sorry

prison breaking out eric sequence was amazing

there’s so much more but just overall amazing film

apocalypse was definitely something? i mean it was probably difficult to follow up days of futures past so i can’t blame them, not like the worst film ever but ….. idk

THINGS I LOVED !! young jean & scott :’) !!!!! genuinely so happy to see the beginning of their friendship & romantic relationship, they’re literally so fucking cute AND young storm omfg a baby 🫶🏾

took me a second to realize it was oscar isaac lol, also OUCH eric’s little family but also like wtf was that death ??? 😭

idk plot was just kinda everywhere, nothing super memorable, also i just found it funny that logan was there for like less that 5 minutes and all he did was grunt lmfao at least he popped off on stryker for the millionth time fuck that guy

uhm dark phoenix

the one and only highlight for me for dark phoenix was once again, jean & scott lmfao

the whole solar flare & alien race thing was kinda weird, they didn’t even explain the alien race thing that well, idk what to even say about this movie

i thought it was weird that hank & eric were suddenly jumping on the “let’s kill jean” train when like they know she didn’t mean to kill raven ??? 😭 like wtf

someone explain the timeline bs to me bc i was surprised that jean “died” AGAIN.

wasn’t the point of futures past that logan now in the present is experiencing the new timeline in which charles, scott, and jean are all alive

so why did jean die in this, does that not defeat the purpose, like she’s alive in the present

or were they trying to plan another prequel film in which she comes back, again. then it’s just a repeating storyline from the og trilogy

anyways it was kinda bad

i don’t even want to talk about The New Mutants i’m gonna be real, it was also bad

and that is my long af reaction to watching all the x-men films for the first time. if you’re reading this and read all my yapping then thank you i really appreciate it lol 🫶🏾 in conclusion, i’m sad i missed out on a whole era of these movies when they were being released (probably bc im avengers obsessed lol) but i’m glad i did watch them now, and now i have a new universe to hyper fixate on lmfao (and logan) amazing movies !! gonna go rewatch Logan now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

also here is my full x-men movies ranking, deadpool films included:

[miss-anachronism]

I posted something yesterday throwing my hat into the ring of Merlin and Valen relationships, and people seemed to like it! These guys are best buds to me, im glad yall see it too. It inspired me to write a little drabble, so here ya go <3 this is Valen and my (fem) Merlin, so it gets kinda specific at parts lol

…

It’s been a long day.

And as much as Valen wishes it were the easier type of long day: boring and uneventful, where he has to drag himself from task to task; it was quite the opposite. Exhilarating, exhausting, and deadly; now he was sinking into a sofa chair in the Mystical house, nursing a spiked drink and a sprained ankle.

It wasn’t even a mishap- he’d launched the attack perfectly, but that godforsaken golem had grabbed his leg at the last moment and slammed him back down into the ground. Lucius said he was lucky to have avoided a concussion. But what does Lucius know, anyway.

All this to say, the entire ordeal has left him grumpy and secluded. He’s tucked into the library, where the din of the bar can’t touch his slowly receding headache. It’s lovely in here, quiet and serene, fresh air drifting through the large open windows on the south wall. The smell of old books mingles nicely with the outside breeze, stopping just shy of being overwhelming. He would have never thought himself a library person; the one in Holistone was lackluster. But Merlin, as she often did, had flipped his conceptions upside down, and provided Valen one of his favourite spaces in her impressive library.

It’s a little ridiculous to expect privacy and solitude from a house that isn’t your own, especially one housing at least five others, but Valen still finds his every muscle tensing when he hears the library door open and close with a soft click.

He exhales slowly through his teeth, trying not to make his disappointment too obvious. He sends his farewells to his peaceful rest, and a quick prayer that whomever has entered isn’t in a talkative mood. He really doesn’t feel up to playing up the charm.

The soft pattering on the floor and the long exhale that come from behind him, however, chases those fears away. The momentary panic slips from Valen’s body, and he glances to the side, grinning when a green, eerie eye catches his gaze.

Merlin grins back at him, though she looks just as tired as he feels. “Hey, sorry. I know you’re hurt, but it’s winding down out there, and I wanted to do some research before I turn in. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Valen chuckles, “It’s your home.”

“Well, yes, but you’re my guest. And if you want me to shut up and leave you alone, say the word and I’ll be gone, no harm no foul.”

“It’s alright, Merlin,” he confirms, slightly surprised that he doesn’t even need to lie, “your company is appreciated.”

She grins at him and sets her own drink down on the small coffee table, and pulls another chair up. “Thanks, Val. I’ll keep it down, promise.”

She’s true to her word, shuffling through a few eclectically stacked books around the floor of the library before settling with three in hand. She puts the biggest one between them, and opens it up to reveal a collection of beautiful woodcuts, depicting various temples across the globe.

Valen lets out a low whistle and leans in, watching as she flips through a few illustrations, and then spins the book around to show him a full two-page print. It takes him a moment to recognize.

“The Moon Temple?”

Merlin nods, her eyes never leaving the paper. “Back in its heyday. We were talking about it, and Dolly mentioned that I should have an old book of prints in here somewhere. I’m lucky I found it so quickly.”

“How old is this book?”

“Four hundred years, give or take.”

Valen half gasps and half laughs, staring at the book in wonder. He’s shocked Merlin even has the balls to touch the thing, let alone open it.

“I can’t believe you just have ancient scripture lying around.”

“Hey, this is far from ancient,” she teases, glancing up to wrinkle her nose at him.

“You’re right, you’re right. It doesnt hold a candle to the oldest artifact in this room: you.”

Merlin sticks her tongue out at him, and Valen returns in kind, before they both return to the book.

The Moon God had been dead for a thousand years or so before this print was made, so the Temple isn’t exactly in perfect condition. Still, it’s a far cry from the decrepit ruins that it’s in today. Beautiful pillars surrounding the pouring, majestic fountains, each flaw and imperfection dutifully recorded… Valen finds himself being drawn in by the skilled execution of the print itself, scanning over the evenly spaces hatching and intricate detailing in the stonework, the water, the attention to values… it’s a beautiful recreation. Valen can even make out the carvings on the pillars themselves.

There’s a little blurb of writing at the bottom of the page, in a language Valen can’t identify. He reaches out to tap at it, stopping just shy of actually touching the book.

“Can you read this?”

Merlin hums in assent. Instead of flipping the book back around to face herself, she stands and moves over to Valen’s side of the table, kneeling next to his chair.

“It’s not much. ‘The Moon Temple, for the greatness and majesty of Nakalig the many-faced…. Cast a moonstone into the divine spring… a chance for divine lunar enlightenment…’ yeah, we know all this already.”

“It’s still interesting,” Valen contests, watching as Merlins finger drifts over the words. “You’ll have to teach me how to read this.”

Merlin scrunches her nose again. “The language is pretty dead, Val. I think you’ll only find Celestials who speak it fluently, nowadays.”

“So? If it’s spoken by Celestials, I’m sure it’s gorgeous. And mysterious. All the more reason to learn it.”

Merlin scoffs. “If you received a love letter written in the old, dead language, would you actually go on a real life date with the sender?”

“A date? I’d bed them on the spot,” Valen jokes, and Merlin throws her head back and cackles.

“Gross, ugh.” She sneers, giggling. Valen grins.

“Thousands of years old, and you still have the humour of a teenager.”

“Shut up,” she huffs, lightly punching him in the shoulder, only for her eye to immediately widen in concern.

“Ah, shit, that didn’t hurt did it? You’re hurt, I shouldn’t be jostling you around.”

“Merlin, babe, do you really think you can push me around?”

“You underestimate me! I could totally beat you up.”

“Mhmm,” Valen chuckles, taking another sip of his drink. Merlin gives him a wry smile.

“Seriously, though, you okay?”

Valen pauses a moment, taking stock of himself. Yes, his ankle still aches, but the spinning pain in his head has thankfully receded. The exhaustion still runs deep in his bones, however; he thinks if Merlin asked him to stand up, he’s simply collapse.

“I’m alright, all things considered,” he settles on, “but tired. Exhausted.”

“Hey, bright idea here! Maybe you should go to bed!”

“A genius, you are.”

“They don’t call me Merlin for nothin’.”

He chuckles. “It’s nice here. I don’t get much time to relax. And the sun’s only just setting,” he waves a hand towards the window, bathed in pinks and oranges, “let me have an hour, at least.”

“Fine,” Merlin conceded, resting her head on the arm of his chair. Dutifully, Valen proceeds to use her head as an armrest. She huffs in amusement.

They stay like that for a few minutes, Merlin lazily flipping through the book, pausing every time Valen leans closer to inspect a print. Eventually, she complains about her neck, and Valen lets up to allow her a slightly more comfortable position.

“I don’t know how to teach languages,” Merlin says suddenly, startling Valen out of his concentration, “but I think, with Hammie’s help, I could teach you a couple phrases and see where it goes from there?”

Valen blinks in surprise. “You don’t have to do that, Merlin.”

She shrugs. “I want to. Gives me something to do. If you want to, of course.”

Valen pauses, thinks it over, takes another long sip of his drink.

“…sure. We’ll see where it goes.”

Merlin nods, and flips the book closed.

“but if I’m a bullshit student, you can’t be mad at me.”

“I’ll never believe you are,” Merlin sniffs, scooping the book up and standing with a grunt. “Deep down, you’re a nerd like the rest of us, Mr. Playboy Solitaire.”

[pupsclawz]

Gone

Part II

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Reader

Warnings: Drug abuse/overdose, (attempted) suicide, dark themes.

Word count: 743 words

Summary: You were having a breakdown when you decided you finally had enough. (You didn't die in this one... Or did you?)

a/n: I know I said I wasn't gonna post but I just had a burst of inspiration. This one is a bit dark so. Warnings are above. Also, Jenna isn't in this ch just yet but it will be a JennaxR fic. I also tried to make this realistic as possible (Im sure I failed). Anyways no beta, I hope ya'll enjoy! Edited: Basically the old a/n said that this Jennas name wasnt mentioned in this chapter. My brain decided that it wasn't Jenna in this ch but someone else. Uhhh sorry for that but yeah!

You sat at the edge of your bed smiling as silent tears streaked down your face. These past few weeks had been hectic and overwhelming, and every single suppressed thing came crashing down on you. 

“You aren’t good enough.”

“You’re a fucking failure.”

“You can’t even do shit right.”

“No one cares about you.”

“See? If they did care, they’d be here. Where are they?”

“You don’t even know what to do with your pathetic self”

“Fucking coward! Just tell someone,”

“If they knew, they wouldn't believe you. Look at how many times you’ve told them something only to be brushed off,” 

Your body shook as you were racked with sobs, more tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t help but believe the voices. 

With shaky hands, you reached forward, grabbing a bottle of pills on the nightstand. You read the label and warnings on the bottle. 

“They’re not gonna miss you when you’re gone,”

“You’ve done nothing for them so, they’ll probably be glad that you’re gone,”

“It’s not like you mattered anyways. Your grades were always low, you’re the lazy one, you can’t even follow simple instructions!”

“Now look at you! Jobless laying around all day like you own the fuckin world!”

“You’re worthless! Ya fuckin disappointment!”

With trembling hands, you slowly grasped the cap of the bottle as you pressed down and slowly unscrewed it. You looked down at the pills bouncing around as you gently shook it, ruminating on what you should do next.

“You’re a disappointment”

A disappointment. That was all you were. Ever since you were a child, everyone’s expectations about you, including your own, was always high. While you did fine for most of your childhood years, these recent ones only got worse. You seemed to fail on anything that you do. Every fucking thing that you were told to do just wasn’t good enough. 

“You’re worthless!”

Your hands trembled more and more as the voice kept echoing in your mind. The sound of the pills reaching your ears was barely enough to keep you grounded. Being told that you were worthless while seemingly trying harder than most was infuriating. You tried so hard to do everything in your power to be enough for them and yet they still didn’t appreciate you or your efforts. 

With the final thought, you looked back down at the bottle before downing every single pill left inside. You swallowed what you could while spitting out the rest as air became a necessity. You fell forwards onto the floor in a coughing fit trying to get some air.

You sat on the floor with your back against a wall as you waited for the silent and peaceful bliss to arrive. 

It was about 25 minutes later when you started to feel the effects of the drug. You felt as if the whole world was spinning (Technically it is) and your stomach felt like it was being stabbed over and over again. A few moments later, you began to feel drowsy despite the pain. You curled up into a fetal position, letting yourself drift off; Awake but not fully.

You were startled out of your trance as your phone began to ring. You blearily looked up before clumsily scrambling to get it. After a few minutes of trying you finally had the ringing phone in your hands. You read the name before you answered the phone, not registering who was calling.

“Hey y/n!” A feminine voice sounded through the phone.

You just groaned in response, feeling worse than before.

“Hey, you okay?” The girl asked in a worried tone.

You were about to speak when you audibly threw up, vomit spraying all over the place. You clutched your still aching stomach as you coughed, trying to rid your throat of vomit. 

“Y/n! Are you okay? I’m gonna call the ambulance, try to stay awake!” The girl yelled through the phone, her voice clearly panicked.

You let out a loud groan as you let your body go limp, waiting for the suffering to end and the relief to begin. 

It was a couple of minutes later when the ambulance arrived. By that time, you were laying on the vomit covered floor unresponsive with a hand clutching your stomach. The EMTs quickly got you onto a backboard as they moved you toward the ambulance. The flashing lights of the ambulance was the last thing you saw before you completely lost all consciousness...

[pedroshotwifey]

Christmas Countdown Day 20 - Dave York

Numb

Pairing: Dark!Dave York x afab!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Tags/Warnings: no use of y/n, dddne, this is not the darkest thing I've written, but it is the darkest I've posted. Non-con piv, non-con knife play, reader gets cut, blood as lube, spit kink, spit as lube, degrading nicknames, restraints, Dave is MEAN, multiple slaps, literal abuse, stockholm syndrome vibes? Stuff im forgetting

Summary: Dave comes home after a rough day to find out that you didn't do the one thing he asked for.

A/N: Y'all, I want to like this one so bad, but I just read over it and I didn't think it was as good as I anticipated. 😭 Maybe it's just because I know I wrote it, or maybe I'm just tired out of my mind. Idk, I'll try to read it in the morning. Anyways, please keep in mind that this is a DARK FIC. If you don't like it, don't read it.

****

You’re sitting on the couch, idly watching TV when Dave gets home. You smile brightly, jumping up from the sofa to greet him at the door, resisting the urge to cross your fingers in hopes that he’s in a good mood. 

You had pampered yourself today, making yourself look soft and pretty, your hair shiny and perfectly in place. You had slipped on a dress that he had brought home a week or so ago as a reward. He’d been so happy and kind that week, and you’d felt so special with the way he paid so much attention to you. 

You hope that he’ll do the same again when he sees you like this, all dolled up just for him. Though it’s a reward enough just to know when you have his approval. 

“Hey, baby,” you say tentatively as you peak your head into the doorway. 

Dave turns around to look at you as he takes off his coat, his expression blank as he takes in your appearance. Your smile falters, though you try to keep it up. His eyes are dark, his jaw set with a particular hint of annoyance. He’s had a bad day. 

Ignoring the part of your brain that screams at you to go hide, you step toward him slowly. He doesn’t move as you approach, just continues to watch as you gently undo his tie and hang it up on the rack next to his coat. 

The air is thick with tension around the two of you as you look into each other’s eyes. Where your gaze is hesitant, exposing the fact that you have to put effort into not cowering in his presence, his is hard, revealing the fact that he gains something from your submission. 

You try so hard not to be afraid of him anymore, but you just can’t help it sometimes. He’s good to you when you’re good, only mean when he says you’re not. The only problem is that he seems to decide when you’re acting good or bad, even if you’re on your best behavior. 

Because of this, you’re in a constant state of reluctance and worried anticipation. You never know when he’s going to snap again. 

“D-Dave?” you ask, breaking the silence. “Do you want to talk–” 

“Would you shut the fuck up for just one second?” He’s quick to interrupt as he shoves past you and into the kitchen. You close your eyes, gulping down the sudden disappointment that bubbles in your throat. 

That’s okay, though. You’ll brush it off. You’re probably just over-reacting again. 

You sigh and spin on your heel to follow him into the kitchen. 

“Are you hungry? I can make you something if you wan–”

“Christ, woman! Do you have a damn off switch? If I want something, I’ll fucking tell you I want it.” 

You reel back at his harsh words, not expecting them quite this early. You open your mouth to comply, but the warning look he gives you makes you shut it and nod instead.

He moves to the sink, rolling up his sleeves to wash his hands, when he stops abruptly in front of it. For a moment, you’re confused, but then you remember what you had forgotten to do today. Your eyes go wide and your stomach drops. 

“I ask you for one. fucking. thing,” Dave says, his back turned toward you. His voice makes you shudder, the tone much too low to mean anything good. He turns around now, fury in his eyes as he breaks under the last straw. 

“Useless goddamn bitch,” he slowly seethes, stalking toward you. Your breathing goes shallow, your body tingly as you watch him get closer, already knowing what's to come. 

You sink back, your ass hitting the floor as you scootch back until you hit the wall. You’re cowering, your body already shaking as you wrap your arms around your head and squeeze yourself into the tiniest ball possible. 

“Dave, please! I swear I didn’t mean to forget, IswearIswearIswear, please, I–”

You're cut off by your own scream as Dave yanks you up by your hair, your scalp stinging as strands rip from the force he uses to pull your face to his. You’re blubbering as he spits degrading remarks your way, far too panicked to hear everything he’s saying. 

You catch snippets here and there as you push against his chest, only serving to hurt your tender head more as he tightens his grip on your hair to keep you close. 

“Fucking dumb—can’t remember shit—Don’t even know why I keep you here—can’t even tell you to do the dishes–”

He just keeps going, every beration digging into your skin until you feel like you’re being coddled by razors. 

“D-Dave, Please–” you try to stop it, even though you know better. His hand comes down sharp across your cheek before you can even process it being raised. Your neck aches from the way it’s forced to the side, almost distracting you from the stinging pain coming from your reddening skin. 

You choke on a sob, your tears stopping momentarily from the shock. Through the ringing in your ears and the pain that spreads through your jaw, you register how your makeup has been messed up from your crying, and you almost want to laugh with how stupid of a thought that is. 

You don’t, of course, because Dave’s quickly pulling you back to reality with a firm hand on your chin, making you look into his eyes. Tears continue to run hot down your face as you let him move you, feeling too defeated at this point to try anything else. 

“You hear me, bitch?” He asks, giving your jaw a firm shake. You blink at him, forgetting at this point that you have the ability to speak at all. It’s not like he would hear you anyway. 

“Said I’m gonna get some fucking use out of you. Seems there’s only one thing a dumb whore like you is good for.” 

You just keep watching him, your expression fallen as you watch it happen. Again. What else can you do? It’s never helped to do anything else before. 

He snarls, clearly annoyed that you’re not giving him another reason to reprimand you. He stands to his full height, tossing you back to the floor as he does so. 

The back of your head knocks forcefully against the tile, and you feel your teeth rattle as the light above you starts to blur. You think faintly that you may want to move, but your body doesn’t want to comply. It’s not like you have anywhere to go. 

You settle for blankly watching Dave as he tugs his belt through the loops before unzipping himself. His eyes stay on you the entire time, and you think you whimper at some point because of the smirk on his face. 

You hate the way your tears run thinly into your hairline, settling there uncomfortably, but you can’t be bothered to wipe them away. You’re tired, you just want to disappear. Unfortunately, you know you can’t do that, so you settle for the next best thing—staying still and silent in hopes that you can block everything out, dissociate yourself somehow. 

Your body jolts as Dave kneels down in front of you, pulling your hips closer to him. You must have been watching the light again, lost in your hazy thoughts. A pathetic sob slips through your lips, and you taste blood as they open. You must have bit your bottom lip when you hit the floor—or maybe it was split from the slap. You don’t know. Don’t care at this point. You just want this to be over. 

Vaguely, you register that it hasn’t even started. 

“You just going to lay there?” Dave points out more than asks as he reaches for your panties. “You really are damn stupid. Must want this, fucking slut.” 

Your eyes close tightly as you feel your panties get ripped in half. 

He’s right, you are stupid. Only a stupid girl would let this happen. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

The word repeats like a chant in your head, your eyelids tightening and your lips quivering. Your body shakes and shakes, it’s all it can do through the headache you’re starting to get from the screaming in your mind. 

Another harsh crack makes you gasp, trying pitifully to take a breath as you take in the fact that he just slapped you again. You feel it less this time, though you don’t know why. 

“Look at me,” he spits once your eyes are opened again. Hesitantly, you look into his eyes, trying with all your might to keep them open. It’s like a nightmare, and the only way you can escape is for you to shut your eyes. 

The only difference is that this is real, that even if you closed them, you would still be able to feel the way he notches himself at your entrance, still feel his threatening stare, still feel every ache and pain that he inflicts on your body. 

He grunts as he starts to shove his cock into your unprepared cunt, and your mouth falls open to squeal at the sudden burn between your legs. No sound comes out, your tongue thick and dry as sandpaper. 

He doesn’t stop you this time when your eyes screw shut in pain, your body squirming beneath him as you try to get away. Your fingers twitch, as if just now regaining the ability to move. 

Dave chuckles at you before pressing a hand to your abdomen and spitting onto your pussy, letting his saliva run down to where his cock is half-way disappeared inside of you. He repeats this action three times before there’s enough lubrication for him to slide the rest of the way in. 

“Tight little hole. All mine to ruin.” 

Dave grabs your face again, pinching your cheeks until you look at him through blurry eyes. As soon as they’re open, you can watch him spit on your face, already soaked from your own fluids. 

You heave, trying to control your breathing as he starts to rock in and out of you, keeping a firm grasp on your face. You need to let it happen, the sooner he gets what he wants, the sooner this is over. It needs to be over. Let it be over. 

His pace grows quicker and more harsh, a sob leaving you each time he punches into you with his thick cock. It hurts so much, always does when you’re dry like this. 

Suddenly, your arms are pulled above your head, Dave’s cock still shoved inside of you as he ties your wrists with the remnants of your panties. 

“I have something for you, slut,” Dave tells you, a tear slipping down your cheek as you keep trying to imagine yourself far away. 

That quickly becomes hard to do, because there’s suddenly a gross feeling coming from above your cunt and to the left. The feeling of your skin being sliced open. 

As soon as you realize what’s happening, a scream you didn’t know you had erupts from somewhere deep inside you. It’s full of an agonizing pain as your senses hone in on the way his pocket knife digs deeply. 

You know what he’s doing, what he’s threatened before. 

You know that the next time you look in the mirror, you’ll be able to see Dave York’s initials carved in front of your hip, deep enough to leave an ugly, jagged scar. 

Dave laughs as you scream and try to simultaneously move away and keep your body still. You don’t know what would be worse right now. 

It’s a white hot pain that courses through you as he moves on to the next letter, his movement sloppy from the way he still shallowly thrusts into you. The wetness of your blood dribbles down until it reaches his cock, making the glide easier yet as he pushes it back into you. 

He laughs even after your screaming stops, the shock taking over you and halting all reactions but the silent sobs that wrack your entire body. He pulls the knife away after a moment, after he’s sure he’s dragged the edge deep enough to be permanent.  

Your gaze focuses on the kitchen light again, and you can hear someone calling raspily for help. It’s weak and wet sounding, and you don’t quite understand where it’s coming from because you swear you’re not trying to say anything. 

“God damn,” Dave grits out. “Will you ever shut your whore mouth?” 

You suppose you do, because the sound stops, and the kitchen is filled with nothing but your whimpers and Dave’s moans. You can feel him getting close, the way he stutters and pulses. 

“Gonna come in this tight little pussy,” he grits, grinding himself down.

You don’t care what he’s going to do. You’d let him do anything to ensure that this will stop, that it won’t go on forever. You just want it to stop. 

You don’t realize he’s coming until he’s almost done. His seed stings as it hits your burning walls. 

You’ve stopped crying. Your throat’s dry, your eyes sting, your cheeks ache, your cunt throbs, your hips are littered with tender bruises, yet your mind is numb. 

Dave only lingers for a moment before he lifts off of you. He chuckles to himself as he says something, but you don’t think you could hear what even if you tried. Your hands fall limply away from each other as he uses his bloody pocket knife to cut away your restraints.

Your eyes close as he walks away, and you don’t try to open them again.

**** Thank you for reading, please lmk if you would like to join the countdown taglist <3

FOTJC: @arcanefox207 @redhotkitchen @magpiepills @exquisiteserotonin @sparklefarts38 @pink-whiskey-woman @youandmeand5bucks @legendary-pink-dot @for-a-longlongtime @secretelephanttattoo @morallyinept @beskarandblasters @tightjeansjavi @theywhowriteandknowthings @nerdieforpedro @maggiemayhemnj @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @ghostofaboy @joels-shitty-puns @elvinaa

WCC: @amyispxnk @melaninmommy @brittmb115 @mandoalorian @yorksgirl

Link to prompt list

[grimreaperschild]

this is my first fic ever and it’s kinda short but any advice + if you wanna see more let me know

warnings: some wednesday level threat maybe ooc wednesday not sure but stalker/infactuated wednesday

not proof read bc im dyslexic and it hurts my brain but i hope you enjoy ❤️

Wednesday trudged into the quad at the start of the semester, she would never admit it but with the new year looming over her she’s slightly exited for what new things she can uncover, there’s chatter of a new student and she hasn’t given it a second thought, even though nevermores resident artist xavier had gifted her a phone she still refused to succumb to such trivial things as gossip, that was of course until she saw you, walking into the quad with slumped shoulders and a shy smile next to the new principle, her eyes lingered on you for far longer than she seemed acceptable cursing herself when you met her eyes confusion evident in your expression though behind it she could see some form of hope, pulling her eyes away from you she tuned into the conversation enid and yoko were having about you vaguely annoyed that her interest was peaked.

y/n pov:

the car ride with my dad to nevermore was silent, as was the goodbye the principle greats me kindly enough and i think maybe this was a mistake, this was supposed to be an adventure but i was proven wrong as we stepped into the quad, the amount of eyes on me making me slightly nervous, zoning out to avoid the lecture on the old space i feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end

snapping my head up i meet the eyes of a girl dressed in black with pigtails, the curiosity of why she has a different uniform out ways the thoughts of how captivating she is, turning and cutting off mr harrow i jester with my head “who’s that, the goth girl” he tilts his head with obvious disdain “y/n it’s not a good idea to get involved with the wrong crowd, that’s wednesday addams and by the looks of it you’ve caught her attention, i feel my condolences are in offer, let’s continue the tour” i nod once taking in the new information stealing one last glance she seems occupied with her group of friends fighting down the disappointment that flashes through me i turn on my heel and follow along the rest of my tour black uniform painted in my mind.

moving in was easy enough and within a few hours my room is looking more mine, being tired i decide to nap knowing i have a long day tomorrow.

wednesdays pov:

i let my feet carry me, overcome with the strange need to know where the new student that i now know is called y/n is dorming, to my utter dismay her dorm is only a few doors down, this is all panning out to be too easy convincing herself that’s the only reason she has interest in you, it’s easy and something to do, heading back to her dorm to fill thing in and have him keep tabs on you came more naturally than expected.

over the next couple of days she manages to secure seats that have a clear view of you in classes, if you notice her impassive stare you don’t let on, she learns that you can control fire from thing, her own research brings up noting but happy pictures of you and your family from years ago on social media, she stands in the shower for half an hour contemplating why instagram doesn’t seem that bad anymore, research online is so much easier than trialing behind you, as fascinated as she is with you, your not that important not yet anyway.

y/n pov:

the past few weeks settling in have been good, i’ve made friends with enid and her boyfriend ajax, the group is a little quirky but it works all the same, joining them for lunch in the quad has become a regular occurrence, so has my seat next to wednesday i’ve embarrassingly tried a few times to engage in conversation with her only to be meet with a steely glance or a roll of her eyes.

enid let’s out a groan as her head hits the table “we’ve only been here for a few weeks and im already struggling with classes, how is that even possible” i let out a low chuckle “comon it’s not that bad plus im sure nes here can help you, right” as i turn to her she’s already glaring at me the use of nickname obviously peaking her intrest “call me that again and i’ll cut your tongue out” turning back to the book she was reading, i give enid a thumbs up “nes is definitely down to tutor you” the sudden movement of wednesday getting up and stomping away makes me jump slightly ignoring the way disappointment rolls off me in waves. “we are going to the lake you should come with” i already know she’s giving me the puppy eyes and i sigh as i look up and my suspicions are confirmed “let me go to my dorm and grab my swim stuff” enid squeals as she jumps clapping in excitement

wednesdays pov:

i watch as she stands in the mirror nose scrunched as she tries on another bikini, eventually picking a dark red set, my eyes scan over her body gulping it in, as she closes her dorm room behind her i turn back to the bathroom im in taking note of what different shampoo she has, finally giving into the mental struggle i turn on my heel determined to get atleast one more glimpse of the colour red

[oliviqzxz]

Part one of my spiderxreader fic!

You have been born on pandora, being daughter of Jake Sully and Neytiri. Sadly, you were born with a heart defect and you have asthma. You cannot run, play or do anything like the other Sully kids, but Neteyam, Tuk, and Kiri are really nice about it and try to help you cope, especially Kiri. You guys are sisters and best friends. You like your childhood friend, Spider, but you think that he’s out-of-your-league. 

“Kiri… I’ve told you a billion times that he WOULDN'T like me… he would prefer you over me.” You say to Kiri as you guys sit in the sand.

“Noo you’ve got it all wrong. He does like you, I swear! He has told me,” Kiri exclaims. “You should go ask him out!”

You gaped at her. Does she really expect me to have all that confidence? “No wait, I think you are mistaken, Kiri but my low confidence will not allow that.” Kiri just laughed. “Silly, if you want to date him but you have low confidence, then i'll help you!”

Just then, Spider walks in with Lo’ak.

“Oh hey, monkey boy!” Kiri says jokingly as he sits down next to you.

“Oh, shut up, don’t call me that.” Spider says, but still laughing.

“Hi, Spider!” You say to him. He smiles and returns the greeting. But you notice how he looks at Kiri. What if he likes her? You feel kinda rejected at the though. But, Kiri pays no attention to Spider and looks at you mischievously. Kiri whispers something into Lo’ak ear, and after that, they just leave, laughing and everything. Ohh NOO… i know what she is planning. Looking awkwardly at each other, you and spider think of topics to talk about. Finally, Spider says,” So how's it going? Are you getting better lately?” He smiles and looks at you, but you couldn’t help but turn away as you start blushing.

“Oh yea i am getting better. But I still can’t really keep up with yall.” You sighed, wishing you were able to do what you wanted to do.

He puts his arm around you reassuringly. Your face becomes red and you look away, hoping that he can’t see. “Y/n, look at me! Are you blushing or something?” He laughs and shifts so he can see your face. “Just shut up…” you muttered.

Suddenly, Kiri comes out of nowhere behind you, and says,” You know that she likes you, right, Spider?” *Spider starts blushing madly and can’t comprehend anything anymore*

“W-wait… You do like me?” Spider asks. 

“Uhm… yea i do. I’ve been trying to tell you for a long time.” You say. He suddenly takes off the mask and leans in, “Spid-“ you start to say, but you were caught by surprise as Spider kissed you on the cheek. You blush and turn away. 

Spider laughs at you and says,”You don’t have to be that shy, Y/n.”

“Oh, just shut up.” You reply, turning back to look at him.

Suddenly, Lo’ak pops out from behind you two. “AYO WHAT YOU DOING WITH SPIDER?!?! Y'ALL REALLY FLIRTING WIT EACH OTHER?!?!?” Kiri kicks him in the knees, forcing him to shut up. He walks over and kicks Kiri. “Oh, shut up, go away. I have something to deal with right now.”

Lo’ak walks away, clearly disappointed.

“Sorry about Lo’ak.” Kiri says, smiling mischievously. “So… are y’all together now?”

“Omg, shut up already.” You mutter while blushing and looking away.

“Haha, im just joking, y/n!” Kiri laughs

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

Random rambling thoughts on ✨WISH✨ before the movie comes out

- This movie is for the sleeping beauty girlies… or at least IT HAS TO BE. Any other vibe and I’m gonna be extremely disappointed. It’s already giving medieval European fairytale with gorgeous animation so they can’t fumble this bag. I’m not really sure yet what I expect from the plot but I just need a sleeping beauty energy to it idk idk. I don’t really know what I mean by it cause sleeping beauty is so contradictory in itself, it’s so epic but also so quiet and calm and simple… we’ll see

- This movie is gonna comment on astrology and the horoscope right right??? You cannot do a movie about wishes and stars and not give us a peak into the starry night the characters look upon to and study! If I don’t have a scene of asha discussing constellations then what’s the point 😒 but like even just the aesthetics in the background or something. I need it

- I know everyone knows this movie is set in Spain but the official sources say Iberian peninsula and u bet your ass that, as a portuguese gal, imma remind y’all about it cause we get so little representation while the Spanish get everything well now they’ll have to share 😭😭😭😭😭

- Asha having friends is so anti Disney princess of her 😭😭😭 those other girls only talk to animals. Tiana and Pocahontas are the only girls with a bff and that’s only 1, Asha has 7 😭😭😭 I’m not very impressed with their designs but I guess they can grow on me

- I’m guessing the movie is entirely in the kingdom and it’s nearby places like tangled and sleeping beauty, as opposed to movies like moana or frozen that force them out of their home in a long journey

- Do u guys think the Easter eggs will be subtle or Ralph breaks the internet kind of in your face? Cause disney is making a lot of promises, dozens of Easter eggs right? But I think the in your face crossover will be just for the once upon a studio short, and in the movie the cameos will be more Easter eggs and subtle. (Out of topic but have y’all seen that Lego trailer for the Disney princesses vs Gaston thing? I’m telling y’all rn, disney in gonna give up an official disney animation studios movie of the princesses all together in an adventure before 2040!! IM JUST SAYING!)

- I hope the musical numbers take notes from encanto in the dynamism of we don’t talk about Bruno and dreamlike sequences from surface pressure. I just don’t love when characters are forced to be stuck in reality, it feels very limited. Animation is supposed to break those restrictions. And like, not every musical number has to be like this, but I just want more than a character singing in point A, B and C u know? And I like how, for example, a character would start singing the song and then the 2nd half is a montage? Or like in when will my life begin where she starts singing, but then it’s all montage and she just sings again at the end. (Uncharted waters was a very good song with a very boring scene let’s be honest, and something like that is criminal but it would be even worse in animation)

- I’m really not sure what to expect from the plot and I haven’t really thought a]much about it but rn, if I had to guess, I’d say the movie is about a kingdom that parallels present day USA kkkk hear me out!!! The kingdom had low days of war but fought for independence and began from scratch. This family has magic and can grant people’s wishes and promises the people the equivalent of the American dream. But as generations pass, the king starts collecting more and more wishes without ever intending to grant them to the people or maybe the price of the wishes keeps getting higher. The "American" dream doesn’t exist anymore but people still believe in it cause they are powerless but hopefull. Basically the movie is gonna be about dethroning a tyrant and dismantling capitalism 😃 (look I’m not good with words or brain power but I think u understand what I mean). Maybe the king’s magic is fake, he just knows how to work with the stars own magic while no one else can. And in the end, Asha and her friends are gonna Robin Hood their way into granting the peoples wishes or just make then see that wishing only goes so far as you’re willing to work for your dream??… but like I’m serious, I really think this movie is gonna be a shade to America and is gonna go against everything bob iger represents

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

curious for the ship thing so here we goo

so i’m like, roughly 5”4 maybe 5”3 i dunno. i have naturally black hair but i dyed it and now the dye is fading so it’s more of a bronze now

personality wise i’m really shy around new people and i get embarrassed/ashamed easily. i am CRAZY around my friends though especially my interests, i never shut up about it. i mostly reflect the personality off of the person im talking to though 🤷 hobbies include music (listening/playing), writing, drawing, reading, all that. i’m kind of an overthinker and i am like heavily mentally ill but it’s wtver. i also probably have autism so lmao!! i won’t lie i can also be aggressive when i get too annoyed at people but i don’t mean it idk i feel bad afterwards but i try to keep calm. i also hate disappointing others in general and i got pretty good grades in school (straight A’s babyyy) i also like to talk a bunch but i suck at starting conversations, more of a jokey type when around my friends. i don’t really do much with my appearance lmao i wear glasses and throw on a sweater and some pants when i go out and i have heavy eyebags so 😞

i’m also transmasc if that matters 🤷

Ok you did not specify which fandom so I’ll choose a character I think best fits you

Your Fandom ship: Steve Randle (The Outsiders)

Explanation: start off I think that he really likes your appearance. I think he thinks your hair was pretty cool and he would definitely tease you about being short. I’m sorry you can’t stop it. He definitely would. I see him as kind of closed off unless he’s around his friends, which would kind of be the same as you except you’re more shy version of closed off and he’s more cold version of closed off, but I somehow think that U2 could make it work and once you get through that kind of patchy rough layer of getting to know each other, you guys would be so great together. He would definitely listen to you, rant by your interests and try to understand as much as he can and in return, he would expect you to listen to his hour long rants about anything cars, drag races, car mechanics… I feel like he also kinda understands you reflecting your personality based off, who you talk to. He’s often in his best friend, Sodapops shadow, and I think he would feel super special whenever you went up to him instead of his “more attractive” friend. If you ever drew wrote some thing about me, I think he would probably keep it and cherish it forever after pretending like he doesn’t care that much and then you’d see it up on his like best table or some crap and then be like I thought you didn’t like that and then he’d be like yeah maybe maybe yeah whatever man. He can also be pretty aggressive whenever he gets annoyed at people so I think he’d understand that aspect of your personality and you guys might clash sometimes, but I think that you two would always make it up for each other. He’s also extremely hard to disappoint as a guy. I think he’s pretty low maintenance so you wouldn’t need to worry about that and he would let me know if you disappointed him in someway, but I don’t think he’s a grudge holder. Anyway yall are so cute I ship it 🧡🧡🧡

[redux-iterum]

i am aware you can't answer this right now, but! as a patron, your Tigerclaw. ough. it's been a good couple months(?) since i read his death scene and i am still reeling from the impact (in a positive way). just. everything. i am lacking in words tonight but just how emotionally charged it is, from every angle, in every way......... man. thats the kind of shit i hope to write one day. "emotional impact that feels like being beaten with a really heavy pillow (in a good way)" my beloved <3

OH same patron anon from like 2 minutes ago with the Spoiler Comment Question, here with a Hopefully-Not-Spoiler Comment Question. Once again; I love how you write Tigerclaw!!! the fact that I was, in the moment, disappointed and a little upset that Lionface was chosen as deputy over him, the fact that, on more than one occasion, I found myself wondering-slash-hoping that he was somehow, in some way, a red herring and not. y'know. responsible for the deaths that have ALWAYS been his fault in every rewrite and retelling. as if I didn't already know. as if it wasn't a fact I've known since I was a small child reading WC for the first time. damn. as i said before: many thoughts no words to express them But I Love, patron anon back for round 3. sorry that im spamming you with messages i just keep having More Thoughts and apparently no filter. I love how you write Tigerclaw as, like..... not a grand cunning mastermind, possibly not even in his own eyes. Prideful, yes, but there's this element of.... i don't quite know how to put it. He's just a guy. He's just a guy who loves his mate and his son, and is excited for the kits his mate is expecting, if a little apprehensive. Just a guy who is dangerous and terrible because he is so, so very certain that he knows what The Right Thing To Do is, and is willing to do whatever it takes to reach that ideal, but his idea of The Right Thing To Do is so horrible and skewed and dangerous. He does what he has to do, or what he thinks he has to. Does he see it as self-sacrifice, in a way? stooping so low for the sake of those he cares about? sorry again for the multiple asks but i'm obsessed with villains like this and have only just now managed to put the words together. cause like.... a lot of truly awful people aren't masterminds. They're people who are so very certain that they're in the right, and are so very wrong about that. i do love flamboyant, Evil-with-a-capital-E cartoon villains a lot (when done right), but there's something about having a villain be so normal, so clearly An Average(ish) Person, someone who may not even see how horrific their actions are. NOT THAT ANY OF THIS IS AN EXCUSE, it's not that they're misdirected or confused. it's like... the dead certainty that they are Correct and other people are Wrong. There's something very..... tactile? about it. "Real" might be the right word but it doesn't feel exactly right. It's like, this is a person you could meet. A person you could know. And they're just quietly (or not-so-quietly) abhorrent in so many ways. sorry for rambling my head is full of thoughts tonight and i apparently cannot shut up </3

Much gratitude and flustering for these asks, man, golly. I've hoped that I've improved in writing over time, and asks like these make me more confident. Thank you for reading along! (And for pledging on Patreon, an absolute of course.) Apologies for not getting to these sooner, I was saving them for today.

Your assessment of Tigerclaw is spot-on. I would say he THINKS he thinks of himself as a normal, good husband and warrior who's doing his best and having a humble life. There's only so real that can be when he also has the constant thought of "I am the only one who sees the truth and I need to Fix Things because no one else can". He thinks he's so much more honest and realistic than he is. You know people like that. I know people like that. The most dangerous person is one that can fool themselves.

[nobodywritingao3]

i feel kind of sick making this post so please excuse me if i sound like a rambling mess. i am not the type of person to talk in detail about my life in online places cuz i live in fear of this getting back to my abuser but shubble's story punched all my most sensitive spots and i want to talk about it

(really long sensitive post)

ive gotten kind messages from people that i havent responded to. the idea of responding to people individually kind of makes me feel sick. so im doing this instead. and im also going to vent really hard because i am not doing well and talking about this to my therapist is soul crushingly embarrassing because wilbur soot is a minecraft man and im a freshly turned 20 year old who pays rent and is respected by my therapist and i dont want to admit that i wrote fanfic about a 30 year old white boy i discovered in quarantine when i was 15. can you imagine that conversation? id have to explain what the dream smp is.

when i watched shubble's video for the first time, i was in total disbelief. i couldnt believe that wilbur soot had done these things but i knew that the liklihood of it being anyone else was pretty low. i chose to hope that the story was not about him, and that if it was that he was a reformed abuser who had reorganized his value system and respected his partners now. i had a lot expectations. then he released his statement and i was horrified. i was disappointed and kind of in denial. his statement was worse than anything i had prepared for as 'worst case scenario.' as time has passed my denial has mostly dulled but im ashamed and im embarassed and im badly triggered.

i kind of hysertically hoped that it was a sick prank that shubble and wilbur cooked up and would get horribly cancelled for, but its not a prank, theres no "haha sike" moment, and wilbur abused shelby.

his response undid me because i saw so much of my own abuse in the words he used.

abusers are really good at making people take a centrist "two sides to every story" stance. i dont know how to describe this to people who have never been abused, but i will do my best

most people are taught that when theres an argument between two people, both parties carry some amount of blame and if you want to resolve that issue, it's a good idea to look at your part in the dynamic. we're also taught to keep our disagreements between ourselves and to not involve other people in our drama.

these are sensible sentiments, but abusers are very good at manipulating these sentiments.

when a victim speaks up for themselves and they call someone an abuser, what they are saying is: "this person cruelly bullied me and hurt me and exerted control over me that i did not deserve or ask for or elicit."

that's a heavy accusation and it contradicts sentiments we are taught like "it takes two to tango" and "dont involve others with your relationship drama."

many abusers are charismatic people. id even say most. when you hear this accusation about someone you think is really cool, your natural instinct is to ask for their side of the story.

they will tell you some version of this:

"i am shocked and hurt that she would call me an abuser. we've been having relationship problems recently, and sometimes i lose my temper. im not proud of that. ive done a lot of things im not proud of. it's true that i did [insert played down act of violence] to her, but you wouldnt believe the horrible things she was saying to me. i lost control, and im so ashamed of myself."

this version of events makes the abuser seem reasonable, it makes the victim seem irrational and quick to blame and hysterical

from here, a lot of people will nod thoughtfully and go. "yeah. yeah. that makes sense. everyone has a unique perspective. the fact that shes attributing all the blame to him without recognizing her own flaws and contributions to the relationship while he does shows that hes the reasonable one here. hes such a chill guy. the things shes saying dont make sense at all. i probably wont say it to her face, but i think shes in the wrong."

wilbur's response hit all the beats im familiar with. it was so in line with everything my abuser used against me, and in line with what ive heard other victims say their abusers used against them, and in line with examples ive read and witnessed and had countless psychiatrists walk me through that reading it was like getting hit by a train.

the hope that i carried with me through that week was that wilbur was a reformed abuser. but reading that response gave me the gut wrenching confirmation that he wasnt.

thinking about it too much literally makes me sick and shaky in a way i havent experienced since my own abuser tracked me down the first time and gave me a beautifully wrapped gift. with my abuser, i had several years trapped with him where all the love i felt for him disappeared and was replaced by total hatred for everything he put me through. i wasnt expecting this from wilbur at all, and i feel fucking sick because this was a man i sincerely admired and looked up to a lot. i really liked wilbur soot. he released that response and this image in my head that i had of him was tainted by the memories of my abuser.

im reminded of one event several years ago where i was choked. i tried to ask for help but everyone who knew immediately reached out to him and asked for "his side of the story." i dont want to talk about what he did to me after that. all that matters is that in the end, no one believed me. everyone took his side over mine and insisted that i was lying or exaggerating or trying to get attention or trying to make him look bad. people who i loved and thought would always be there for me sent me paragraph long text messages calling me a bitch and a cunt. the person i loved the most in the world told me that i was out of line and said point blank that they were sorry, but couldnt believe me over the person who choked me. i had never felt so alone.

ive been having a rough time. i confided in a friend who is trying to escape his abusive husband, and he gently told me that this might mean i have "a type," meaning im naturally drawn to people who are abusive. after i escaped, i took a lot of solace in the fact that i was inspired so much by wilbur soot. i thought he was progressive and stood up for womens rights and was anti bigotry and all those lovely good things. this man i admired so much was the image of healthy, nonviolent, kind masculinity. finding out he isnt has made me question myself and my own judgment and it's making me wonder if the people i let in my life and the people im drawn to are people who i subconsciously know will hurt me.

as of now, its been a year and a half since i escaped my abusive family at 18 years old. i turned 20 like half a second ago. the past 18 months of my life have been devoted to looking into legal protection, getting therapy to undo nearly 2 decades worth of ptsd, trying to keep all my baggage to myself because i dont want to burden my friends anymore than i have, and holding down a steady job so that i can afford rent without having to rely on the parents of my friends to house and feed me and keep my location secret from an insane group of people who reeeeally want me to come back even tho im pretty sure one of them might """""accidentally"""" kill me one day

i feel ashamed and embarrassed by being this affected by wilbur soot. parasocial relationships are looked down upon and i feel like the perfect stereotype of a hysterical, delusional teenager / young lady finding out that her hero is "a flawed human being, just like you and me - seriously, what did you expect?!"

i already see people jumping to his defense, although i try to look away because that is also extremely triggering for me.

it is hard not to acknowledge wilbur's humanity, and i want to clarify that i do feel compassion for the amount of death threats, doxing, and isolation he is undoubtedly experiencing right now. no matter what you do, i dont believe that retributive justice or revenge is a proactive, sane response. i am sincerely worried that he will either try to kill himself as a last ditch attempt for sympathy OR that he will actually just kill himself from the public shaming. i do not want him to experience a mental health crisis and i do not want him to die, even tho he has horribly disappointed me and reminded me of so many bad things

this was kind of an insane post. im ready for it to get 1 note and then experience a horrifying amount of embarrassment as i realize that people read this and know disgusting amounts about me as a person, but i want to share my experience as someone who has been abused. i want to offer solace to people who are in the same boat and possibly reach someone who might have otherwise believed wilbur was telling the truth.

i want to end this post on a positive note, so im going to share some naive hope ive been repeating to myself for the past few days

i hope that people believe shubble. i hope she finds comfort and compassion and healing. i hope she can internalize that what happened to her was not her fault. i hope she lives a happy life surrounded by people who see her and care about her

i hope that the people close to wilbur make him confront this side of himself. i hope he fixes his abuse problem and reorganizes his values. i hope his network of people is strong enough not to abandon him entirely but to intervene and make him work on himself. i hope he stays alive and i hope that he becomes an advocate for abused women

this was cheesy and unrealistic but ive been sending my hope into the universe and trying not to shut down because i dont know what else to do and my two hours of government issued weekly ptsd therapy is already devoted to the horrible things i experienced firsthand

anyway

as far as my fanfiction goes???? i dont fucking know.

im not going to delete it. im definitely taking a break and at least stepping into a pause so i can properly reflect on what to do in the meantime. as a musician and writer and creative in general, i was inspired by many aspects of wilbur soot for years and i need a second to chill out and get a hold of myself

maybe ill complete my work. if i do ill upload the finished products in one go and probably orphan them. and maybe delete my ao3 account. god knows at this point

i am still cringing so hard at myself for making this post. it's very emotional and i try to sell myself as serious, intellectual person. maybe this post will be received great or badly or just be ignored. in any case ill be embarrassed so it doesnt really matter how anyone feels about me after this. if you took the time to read, thank you for hearing me out. and if you didnt, im glad that i got a little catharsis

[mrhaitch]

hi mr haitch!! i have a question (or questions)!! so i think it’s pretty cool that you have a phd (especially in something literature related (i think??)) cause that’s what i wanna do as well, so is it okay if i ask for some advice??

i’m in my final year of my english lit undergrad and i’m freaking out a little cause of ma/phd applications. do you have any general advice for someone wanting to go into that field? also i’m really really worried cause im beginning to feel like my gpa isn’t good enough for me to get into a good school. (and part of the reason i’m asking you on anonymous is because the prospect of admitting that to any of my real life professors or advisors is utterly humiliating.) the thing is, i know i’m a really good student and i’m really good at what i do. i know that whatever sample essays and writing that i submit for my applications are going to be really good. i’m a research assistant, i’ve presented at postgrad conferences, and i know i’ll get glowing recommendation letters. (sorry if i sound unbearably arrogant).

but i’m sort of really terrified about my gpa. my cumulative gpa is 3.4, so that means that even if i get a 4.0 gpa for my remaining two semesters, my cumulative won’t go above 3.6 at most. unfortunately, there was one semester where there were a few extenuating circumstances that caused my grades to drop, and on top of that, my university has a sort of general education system in the first year, where you have to take modules outside of the major you’re pursuing. so having to take maths and other sciences really didn’t help my gpa. but overall, my gpa has never dropped below 3.00 in any of my semesters, and i’m an honours student.

so my question is, how much does all of this actually matter in terms of applications? does it matter if my cumulative isn’t that good if my gpa for most of my individual semesters is okay and my transcript makes it obvious that i do well for the most part in the modules that relate directly to my degree? i mean, i’m not expecting to get into like oxford with that low of a gpa (but i’m still going to apply and then be disappointed at my rejection) but is it “okay” to not be the top student grade-wise, if everything else in my application points towards me being pretty good? i’m just so scared that i won’t get into any good schools at all. i keep having actual nightmares about me getting rejected from all the places i apply to, i probably haven’t slept in a week.

i know this is long, and i’m sorry if it’s a lot, but i would really, really appreciate your advice.

- a really stressed out and anxious undergraduate

Depends on your university, essentially. My grades were far from stellar (quite average in a lot of ways, as I oscillated wildly from being high achieving to barely attending).

My advice for anyone wanting to pursue a PhD is this: find a good supervisor. Ignore the university itself, look at who you want to learn from. Not just professionally or academically, but as a person. I was ridiculously, insanely lucky to meet my supervisor through my MA programme where he taught novel writing. We quickly discovered we were kindred spirits in a lot of ways, seeing things on similar lines. He liked my work and I appreciated how direct and insightful his feedback was.

Because of that he could and would go to bat for me, and you need that. If your grades aren't at the usual level, a good prospective supervisor can override those concerns. If you've got a good proposal, and you can get your ideas across in an interview well, then you can still get there regardless of where your grades are.

In my case - actually - my proposal was pretty vague, and kind of terrible in hindsight. It was more like a shopping list of things I was interested in at the time, but I was fortunate they asked for a sample of my creative work - according to my supervisor that was all the evidence he needed to push for me to get a place.

And if you don't get in on your first attempt, there will be other opportunities. As an undergrad my dissertation was supervised by a guy who worked in construction for thirty or forty years who chose to retrain through the Open University and work as an academic for the last few years of my life.

Just take a deep breath and arm yourself as best you can. You've got this.