#keep up the absolutely bangin work mate

[sitsonatable]

im so normal about this i promise

Bits and Pieces (Part 2)

Keep reading

[sarah-blue-eyes]

2020 In Review

Hoo boy, here we go.

[Ok just before I begin. I had this queued to post in the first month of January but it doesn’t seem like that ever happened haha. Better late than never I suppose!]

So I am a nostalgic bitch, and since 2011, have loved to make memory boxes for each year, where I put trinkets and memories into a shoebox. This year I have continued that tradition, but I have also kept track of my happy memories throughout 2020 in my planner. This was done with the intention for me to upload a year-in-review sort of thing in hopes that maybe like, 3 people max on this god-forsaken site will read it. This sort of reminiscence was inspired by my friend @a-lbeit​, who has done these for a few years now and me, as a slut for nostalgia, was encouraged to do the same back in January (I think? What even is my memory at this point?)

2020, as it has been for many, was a very shit year, and I am no different. I would safely say that this year has undeniably been the worst I have lived through. But I am here. I am present. And I have made it through some of the darkest times to face 2021 with a new sense of hopefulness. Keeping track of my happier memories has been something that has truly got me through this clusterfuck of a year, so I am glad that I can finally go through them all again and share them with you.

Read it, or don’t, I don’t give a shit what you do with your time, but if you do, I hope that you aren’t bored to tears. And I hope to keep myself accountable to continue to do this for years to come.

Buckle up, grab a hot drink and a snack and get comfy, because this is a JOURNEY.

January:

· Kicked the new year off with hosting a 1920’s themed party with some of my closest friends at my family home at the beach. Had fun with drunk SingStar, playing What Do You Meme, creating a playlist with everyone’s top 3 songs of the decade (it was a bangin’ playlist I must say), and just overall drinking too much and having a riotous time

· I remember going to the beach New Year’s Day (as is tradition in Australia) and playing ultimate frisbee in the shallows and completing a crossword puzzle on the sand (I am a 75-year-old woman, it is just a fact of life)

· I also had my friend Kirsten from South Australia stay with me for the New Year’s period and it was lovely to have a guest over! I haven’t spoken to her much this year, she sort of fell off the face of the planet, but I hope she is doing ok.

· Went town to Torquay (a beach town in Victoria) for the 6th time for Beach Mission, which is essentially a holiday program for kids in preschool-year 9 where we run activities for them. It’s a Christian-based program but the aim isn’t to convert the kids or anything like that, it’s more to show God’s love to them through our actions and how we as Christians live our lives. It’s also a convenient way for parents to dish their kids off for a few hours too haha. This was my final year of being a part of this program, and I am so pleased to have made so many memories and (hopefully) impacted many children’s lives during my time there

· I remember going on a late-night beach walk with my boyfriend Josh, talking about what the year had in store for us. We were just sitting on the beach, as you do, and I saw a shooting star. I can’t remember what I wished for (if anything) but in that moment, life was a dream.

· The week after beach mission I started at my new internship! It was for a place called KidsCo, who run school holiday programs at workplaces, so parents don’t need to take time off work to look after them. I helped with client relations and a lot of behind-the scenes stuff. I really loved it there

· On the very first day of my internship I remember there was torrential rain, and the train home was delayed by like, an hour or so lol

· One of the best parts about interning at KidsCo was that they were the official child-minding service for the Australian Open. I make an effort to go each year, but I was lucky enough to get free ground-entry for me and a guest for the duration of the event. I went quite a few times and got to take my mum and Josh along as well.

· Saw my only concert of the year, The Veronicas, at the Australian Open. When I say the moment the violin riff at the start of Untouched absolutely went the fuck off is an understatement. Grade 5 me would have cried (and 23 year old me did a little bit too tbh.) Yet another of one of my “all-time-favourite-songs” that I’ve had the pleasure of hearing live. (I also went through the year feeling sad that this was the first time in 11 years I hadn’t gone to a concert, but this one certainly fell through the cracks)

· Started planning my trip to the UK to see my twin sister, and best friend, Jess

· Went away to Rye for the Australia Day weekend #changethedate. An excellent time with excellent mates, and went to the beach pretty much every day and got mindlessly sloshed every night

· Listened to the Triple J Hottest 100. I think 4 of my picks made it in, which was pretty good

· Continued my job as the office manager/events coordinator at my church

February:

Basketball started back after the summer break for my two different teams, The Vikings and The Wildcats (honestly such a highlight of this year with how the rest of it ended up going)

As a team-bonding activity at KidsCo we hired a boat for a few hours and I got more drunk that I had been for a while. It was a very fun time jetting down the Yarra, waving drunkedly at the people jogging by

For Valentine’s day Josh and I had an indoor picnic with our favourite food! The weather was shit for Feb, hence the indoor nature of the picnic

Saw Shrek the Musical with two of my closest pals, Bec and Katie (I honestly forgot that this happened in 2020 hahaha) but it was ICONIC

Had a Jackbox night with The Boys

Had my cousin Amy from England over for dinner! I hadn’t seen her in 5 or 6 years, so it was so lovely to connect again like no time had passed at all

Went to Healesville Sanctuary, a lovely conservation park which focuses on preserving and educating its visitors about Australian animals, with Amy

 Went to mini-golf for a friend’s birthday on the leap day. He technically celebrated his 6th birthday which was excellent

Saw Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with Bec and Katie

Finished working at the church office to make room for the potential job opportunity at KidsCo

March:

Ahhh March, you shitstorm of a month. This is where everything started going downhill.

The first thing of note that happened this month was me injuring my ankle at basketball, which had me out of action for a few weeks. It was especially bad because I was nearing the end of my internship and was hoping to do my best work so that I would be chosen to stay on as an employee, but had to take a week or so off to rest my ankle. My ankle would continue to be tender and sore for most of the rest of the year

Went away for the Labour Day long weekend with the family

Finished up my internship at KidsCo. Honestly was lead to believe that I would be staying on as an employee and felt sort of betrayed after all the work I did for them, but whatever

 Had a party at Bec’s house to listen to Triple J’s Hottest 100 of the Decade. One of my favourite songs was number 1 which was a pleasant surprise

Went down to the holiday house for a few days just to have so me time and sort myself out

Animal Crossing New Horizons came out haha. Honestly was one of the highlights of this year though. I stayed up until midnight so I could download it as soon as it was available because that’s the sort of person I am  

Mum’s birthday dinner with Dani, one of my best friends, and her girlfriend Amy

Went for a hike at Sugarloaf Reservoir with Josh and got spooked by a mob of kangaroos

April:

My mental health started really taking a downward spiral this month for multiple reasons which I won’t get into here, but this is more a note to my past self to say that it will all be ok I guess? Idk I just felt like this needed to be here

Did my ankle badly again on Good Friday

Watched the Overwatch League live with my friends and just memed in the livechat lmao

WARNING - this is a bit TMI but I am going to share anyway since it was a big part of this year, and if you are reading this you are either a stranger or a good friend so I really don’t care lmao: This month I also started to get bad pains in my uterus, like, not period pains but deep, stabbing pains. This continued on for the next few weeks without me doing anything about it, except for increasingly getting stressed about it, although I will talk a bit more about this later.

Josh and I celebrated our 6th year together which was ~wholesome~

Called my friend Ashley from the US and just caught up. It was nice to see her face again. She is a good egg. I haven’t talked to her since but I really hope she’s ok.

May:

Watched Star Wars with Josh and his family for “May the 4th”

Started a volunteer job at Kivuli, a non-for-prophet that is based in Kenya, and started helping out with their website and social media stuff

Zoom movie time with my friends, we watched How To Train Your Dragon I think? Athough everyone was talking over the movie so I didn’t really get anything out of it

Played Scattergories (one of my favourite games) with Bec and Jess on zoom and just wrote really stupid and funny answers and I remember this being just what I needed

Went for a long walk with mum and one of her friends and her daughter on a track we don’t usually go on, which was a nice change of scenery

Went down to the holiday house for the first time in forever since restrictions were eased, at least for a little while lol, with the fam

Went to Portsea for a walk along the beach with Bec and her husband Trevor

Did an online trivia night that night with a big bunch of friends

Had a doctor’s appointment to see what was goin’ on down there. Honestly freaked that it could be something REALLY bad. Got booked in to have an ultrasound the next week, so at least I’d be finding out what was wrong soon.

The day after I got my results was the 21st of May, the day my mum and I were meant to be flying out to the UK to see my sister and her boyfriend. It was already hard enough a month or so before when I had to cancel my flight, but this day was so SO difficult. I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard. I am so blessed to have a boyfriend like Josh though. He was by my side the whole day, and held me as I cried. Oh man I am crying as I write this now, it was such a hard time but I know I will see my sister again.

And then the day after THAT whole ordeal was my birthday, which was meant to be spent in London with Jess but it turned out to be the first birthday we’ve had apart. This day was also hard, but made better by being with loved ones and having dinner at my grandma and grandpa’s house. Grandma’s roast potatoes make everything better.

Went to Geelong to see the other side of my family, it was so good to see my nan again. I love her very much.

Went to the Briars with Bec and went on a lovely nature walk and saw a lot of little wallabies and even an emu

Had an ultrasound and my pain turned out to be a 10cm wide cyst!!! So fun!!!!! Thank the heavens it wasn’t a child. I was so relieved. It is still in my body so that’s cute tho.

June:

Applied for a bunch of jobs, and even got a few interviews! Still no job.

The absolute highlight of this month, and maybe even the whole year, was going away to Lake’s Entrance and Yarram with mum, dad and Josh. It was so good to go to the country, I love country towns so much and the wildlife and nature is so beautiful in the eastern part of Victoria. If you ever get the opportunity I recommend going there!

We ate so much nice food and just relaxed. It wasn’t a perfect replacement for not going to Europe, but it was something at least.

Did more work for Kivuli which kept me busy

Went to Bec’s house to bake a cake. She came out to me as bi this day too, and the cake was coloured like the bisexual flag!

Started a short course through the university I went to in Facebook for Business. It was a great way to build up my skills.

Played Animal Crossing with Dani’s little sister, Tami, a very wholesome time

Looked after Josh’s dog Jed while his family went away for the weekend (also went into the start of July) and was honestly the greatest time

July:

Halfway through the year. Thank fuck.

Had another job interview

Went on lots of walks

Was just generally cold

Did a lot of cleaning

Painted the downstairs rooms at church, which took a few days and a lot of back pain, but it’s cool to think that I was able to contribute my energy and time to something while I was not feeling good at all

The restrictions were tightened again, meaning that I couldn’t go further than 5kms away from my house, except to see Josh, so this was a really lonely time for me.

Really got into Masterchef with mum this season. They had all returning contestants from other seasons so that was really fun to watch.

Got and assembled a new couch upstairs that I can say I actually own myself. I absolutely love it.

More walks, despite the cold

This was a very uneventful month, but that’s ok!

August:

Had a call with the hospital I’ll be having my cyst surgery with. It was good to know that things would be started. I had to have a blood test and a second ultrasound then put on the waiting list for surgery. Still no sign on when that will be happening though 6 months later. Just so lucky to live in Australia where all of these appointments are free.

Went for a really nice long walk with Josh. Got shat on by a bird.

Did lots of stuff around the house, just tidying and watering the plants and sorting through my wardrobe to purge all the clothes I grew out of

Had an online Switch games night with some friends which was fun. We played Smash Bros. and Mario Kart and just had a great time!

Ok this sounds super lame but my favourite podcast, The Jenna & Julien Podcast, finished forever which came as a surprise and was just really sad. I really hope it comes back one day.

Did my tax return lmao

Baked rice puff/marshmallow bar things

Made an ASOS order to fill my happiness with material things. Did get some cute clothes and lingerie tho 😉

More games with Bec and Jess, we played Golf With Your Friends this time

Had a cocktail night with Josh, where we just made a bunch of fun cocktails and got drunk. I can’t wait to live with him so we can do this all the time.

Lots of Kivuli work, as we are planning for our 10th anniversary fundraising event

September:

Baked cookies, which was something I did a lot at the start of lockdown but sort of drifted away from. I absolutely love to bake.

Started working for Media-Wize, a small PR company that was started by someone I know at church.

Started playing Among Us at the start of the month

So many Among Us nights omg, just call me queen impostor please

Did my induction for Media-Wize

Got  n e r v o u s  because I kept getting things wrong in my new job. I always seem to fuck up the good things and opportunities that I get

Did a livestream reading of The Great Gatsby on my friend’s Twitch stream. It was really fun and something I had never done before. I voiced Tom Buchannan, which was interesting but cool to sort of get into the character. I hope to do something like this soon.

I burnt my hair while cooking dinner and had to give myself a haircut lmao. It was the first time since 2018 that I had cut it so it was a long time coming anyway.

So much Media-Wize work. It felt good to finally be getting paid to do a job

Got locked out of my bathroom so I had to climb up the laundry chute to unlock it from the inside, all because a fly outsmarted me (it’s a long story… and honestly best told by speaking it)

October:

Had the Kivuli 10th anniversary livestream. Lots of work went into it and it was so much fun! It’s incredible that a non-for-profit that has benefitted so many children and families is still going strong. Such a blessing to see.

Dad’s birthday, and we had a picnic with grandma and grandpa and saw them for the first time since lockdown was somewhat lifted

Walked to Beasley’s nursery with Josh and got a coffee. This was the first proper, not McCafe coffee I had had in months and it was SO good

Played Animal Crossing with Dani

More Among Us, a theme for the last few months of 2020

Watched the AFL Grand Final. Wasn’t super exciting this year tbh, especially since we couldn’t have a BBQ or party or anything, but hopefully next year will be different

Nearly moved out of home with a friend of a friend, but since I didn’t have a job, didn’t think it would be a wise decision. Would’ve been nice though

Did some more Media-Wize work. I haven’t been given anything to do since this time though, so I don’t know what’s going on with that? They really be ghosting me tho.

Applied for JobSeeker so I would at least be getting a little income

New Jackbox came out, and had a games night with The Boys playing all the new games

Voted in the local election

Went to Westerfold’s Park with Josh for a lovely long walk

Played lots of The Sims 4 (but tbh I have been doing this all year)

November:

This month things sort of started to turn around, as Covid wasn’t hitting my state hardly at all, so I was actually able to see family and friends again!

Went to my old primary school with Dani and played basketball and just shot around and talked. She also came over for dinner. It was so nice, and she is a true friend.

Had a picnic at the park at the top of the street with my dad’s side of the family, all together at last

Melbourne Cup Day, not that I really care but it’s nice to get a day off. Went on a day trip to the Dandenong mountain range. It was so, so nice and bought some lovely little things from local shops, went for a bushwalk and had a bakery lunch

Went to the park to throw the frisbee and kick the footy around with Josh and his friends, although they are my friends too tbh

Had a picnic with a group of friends that I hadn’t seen since January, so it was so, so good to catch up with them and have a delicious BBQ dinner

My favourite online comedy group, Aunty Donna’s Netflix series came out! Had a virtual watch party with a few friends and binge watched it all in one go

Had lunch with grandma. This used to be a weekly occurrence but for obvious reasons was put off for this year. I absolutely adore her and every lunch we spend together is so precious to me

Went to Kyneton with some of the family as another day trip

Christmas shopping time again. So weird to be at the shops and feel sort of normal? I went 4 different times in the span of a week and a half haha

Josh’s birthday! We went to this maze place with has a bunch of big mazes and other fun activities. It was such a perfect day. Then we had dinner with his family.

Got a letter from the IRS saying that I needed to provide them with proof of identity, so that was fun trying to sort that out. We love the outdated US tax system <3

Went to a bridal shower for my friend Katie

Went for another hike with Josh to the mountains

Drove down to Geelong for a friend’s wedding and stayed at my nan’s house

Had a pub dinner and Jackbox night while down in Geelong with The Boys

A good friend of mine was leaving to live in Japan for two years, so I went to her house one last time to say goodbye and chill in her pool and just hang out

God why is it so hard to get a job?

December:

Omg we have made it to December. It truly is a miracle with how this year went tbh. And if you have read this far, thank you but also, how little of a life do you have?

Went to my friend Katie’s wedding. Sort of surreal to go to a wedding during a pandemic but it was fun and I got to see a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in a while

Enjoyed the hot weather and went to the beach a number of times with a variety of friends

Went Christmas shopping, and just shopping in general since it was safe to and shops had finally opened again

Got a job at a talent agency where you get gigs as a paid extra in TV shows and movies, which was pretty cool! I even had a professional photoshoot to get headshots done, something that I had never done before. Glad that I could get some pictures to use on LinkedIn though haha. Still haven’t been cast in anything but here’s hoping.

Had dinner and drinks with Josh, Bec and Trev in the city for the first time since it reopened. God I love Melbourne so much. It is just so magical on balmy summer nights. This was such a special evening, and was so good just to be in the city again

Had a lovely day with Dani, starting with breakfast and then going on a hike before the weather got too hot. We went to Sherbrooke Forest, a place I hadn’t been before, and it was incredibly beautiful

Had a number of job interviews this month too, none of which got back to me which was annoying :/

Now it was heading into the time where every weekend is packed with Christmas do’s so I’ll just collate them in this point. Lots of drinks were consumed and many delicious roast dinners

Had our annual Christmas Carol’s service at church. It was a blessing to be back in the building for the first time since March, and to be able to do something I love (singing) with some of my best friends was the best

Christmas eve I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house (on dad’s side) to help them set up for Christmas lunch. Spending time together just the three of us is so special, and I am so glad I was able to come over and just chat and be in their loving presence. Then that night I went to our 11pm church service to bring in Christmas day. It was a great service and was great to see our kick-ass minister give a sermon face-to-face.

Ok here we go, Christmas was a doozy, let’s go. So Christmas lunch was, as I said, with my dad’s side of the family, which is always a great time. Cracking open crackers and fighting over who’ll get the bottle opener or nail clippers is always a highlight haha. But we had the fucking best roast potatoes I swear. I need to know what my grandma puts into them because I could genuinely eat 20 of them and still have space. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent in a food coma until I went to Josh’s house to spend dinner with his family. Another delicious meal and great banter was what I needed, although I can safely say that I put on at least 5 additional kilos after that day.

The next day the fam and I headed to Geelong to see my mum’s side of the family. Was a great drive down and I listened to all of The Avalanches new album which had just released. Easily the greatest album of the yeah hands-down. So we spent lunch there and absolutely stuffed ourselves with more food. Three Christmas meals really took a toll on me, but I am just blessed as it is to have a loving family and food on the table.

The next day dad, Josh and I headed to the beach to spend that weird time between Christmas and New Year’s. To get there we took the ferry that goes from Queenscliff to Portsea, which is always a fun time, since we don’t often go from one side of the bay to the other (if you don’t know the geography of Victoria I apologise lmao). Mum didn’t come with us as she had some symptoms of Covid, so went home to isolate and get tested. Thankfully she tested negative and she joined us the next day.

Once I got back home I had to prepare the house for my friend Jono who was visiting for new years from SA. Many last-minute chores and cleaning was done haha.

New Years Eve! Went to pick up Jono and my other friend Sarah from the airport and dropped Sarah off at her accommodation and ended up staying there with Jono for a while as this was where the New Year’s party was going to be. Although, in true Victorian fashion, our premier announced that there was going to be a limit of 15 visitors at any house from 5pm that night. Excellent. We love a last-minute change of plans. So we had lunch and spent the afternoon at my friend’s house before heading to a local park to chuck the frisbee and kick the footy around. We also had our second annual NYE trivia competition, which my team lost by 1 point!! Dang I get so competitive, but we will win next year, I can feel it. The new year came through uneventfully, we were in the middle of a game of Scattergories or something like that when someone changed the channel on the TV to see the Sydney fireworks across the screen and like, 4 second left of the countdown. I gave Josh a bog ol’ smooch and gave my friends a big hug. We had done it. 2020 was defeated.

Conclusion (damn this really be an essay tho)

This year was undeniably the hardest year I had ever been through. Going through unemployment for the majority of the year and having no sense of purpose hit me hard but I am entering 2021 with the hope and willingness to get on track with my career. And I think I will be successful. A lot of truly awful things happened around the world this year as well, with the devastating bushfires at the start of the year, the powerful BLM protests, Coronavirus absolutely destroying lives and many, many other global events but through it all, here we are. I hope you all keep well this year and that your 2021 is infinitely better than your 2020.

Song of the Year: Tangerine – Glass Animals

Album of the Year: We Will Always Love You – The Avalanches (I CANNOT stress this enough, but you absolutely must listen to this album!)

TV Show of the Year: The Mandalorian - Season 2

Movie of the Year: Bombshell (the only movie I saw at the cinemas so didn’t have much to go with)

Memory of the Year: Going away with my family and just enjoying time away with each other

Thank you for reading this, if you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one <3

[britishboystm]

For You- Matt *Blinded By The Light (SMUT)

Warnings: Smut, Swearing, Ngl there is a bit of cliche cringe in here so beware👀, super fucking long wtf

A/N: Ok, ok. This one is hella long. Thanks to @blueeyedheizer for the inspo, hope you like it love:)

—-

“I’m telling you Y/N, he speaks to our generation. People like us who want to get out of Luton and see the world!”

“That’s great Javed.” The conversation that was happening while you and Javed walked home from college was less than exciting to you. He seemed super invested however, so you tried your best to let him rave about his new found obsession with Bruce Springsteen, some bloke from America that your dad listens to when fixing the car in the garage. You were more of a Cyndi Lauper and Madonna type.

You felt quite bad for Javed. No one really gave the poor lad the time of day. Not his dad, not the people at the college and most definitely not the community you guys lived in so you were his go to person. You had always been his confidant since you were kids.

Then there was Matt. The third of the trio. He took care of Javed. He was Javed’s protector against bullies in school. He himself was an eccentric personality. Very different from you and Javed. He loved girls, parties and synths. Once school was done, he had no desire to continue through to college. He was out of there.

But he finished the friendship puzzle and you relied on him as much as Javed did and vice versa.

It seemed like hours of him rambling and you tuning him out until you finally reached your neighbourhood. You, Javed and Matt all lived in the same cul de sac. It was where the three of you became best friends, then you were all enrolled into the same primary school down the road not long after. You guys became inseparable after that.

Everything was quite pleasant until you caught a glimpse of Matt. There he was, standing in all of his glory, sucking face with his latest fling, one you had not met yet. The image made your stomach churn and Javed noticed right away.

“Y/N, I really think you should tell him.”

“Tell him what?” Your eyes were glued to the car crash happening in front of you. See, you had developed feelings for Matt back in grade school, keeping it a secret to this day. The only person who knew was Javed.

He sighed and patted your back before walking towards the two love birds. The kissing was finally coming to an end and Matt pried himself off of her to notice the two of you.

“Javed, Y/N you muppets! ” His play thing grabbed onto his arm while he met you two half way.

“Hey Matt, how was Ibiza?” Javed asks reluctantly. Matt chuckles slightly, looking over proudly at his new arm candy. A look you had longed to receive from him one day.

“Met Emma over there, she lives nearby actually. It worked out brilliantly.”

You pretend to look happy.

“That sounds amazing Matt. Um, actually I’m going to have to run. My mum needs me home for dinner soon.”

“Leaving so soon?” Matt asked, soundly legitimately disappointed.

“I’ve been gone for weeks and this is all I get from you?” He pries a little further.

“Well some people actually have lives out of shagging girls and playing bar gigs so yeah I’ve got to go.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh but seeing this Emma girl had your blood boiling. She seemed lovely and deserved no harsh feelings so you felt it best to walk away from the situation which would probably just get out of hand.

“Y/N what’s all this about?” Matt says, hurt evident in his eyes. You sighed deeply trying to contain yourself.

“Nothing, sorry. I’m just super knackered. I’ll catch up with you guys later okay?” You didn’t wait for a response, hoisting yourself on your bike that you had walked home and rolled over to your front door, not as much as a look back and wave.

You were hoping that the day would come when Matt would bring home a girl and it didn’t bother you. But it was just getting worse. After closing the front door, you leaned against it trying to calm yourself before running up to your room to wallow alone.

---

Later that night you laid awake staring at your ceiling. The events from the afternoon had you in a frenzy. He really shouldn’t be affecting you like this, and yet here you were lying awake at the wee hours of the morning. It also didn’t help that there was light streaming into your bedroom window from Matt’s room.

You guys lived right next door to one another and your room windows faced each other, so most nights you would stay up and talk for hours on end from the windows edge.  

You stood up, groaning. It was probably the same situation you had faced so many times before. Because Matt was in a band, there were many nights where he would leave his desk lamp on to work on melodies and lyrics. The light would keep you up, which you absolutely hated but you would never say anything. 

Music was his life and you weren’t going to be the one to get in the way of that. With all the anger you were feeling though, tonight seemed easier to call him out on his bullshit. You approached your window and stood in front of it. But nothing could prepare you for what you would just witness. Straight ahead, stood Matt and Emma in very little clothing. Him in nothing but boxers and her in a matching set of red lace undies and bra. His hands were roaming her waist and landed on her perfect butt. 

You couldn't help but feel self conscious. She had such a bangin body, nothing you thought you could compare too. Without hesitation you shut your blinds, not wanting to subject yourself to that anymore. You shakily laid back in bed and just started sobbing. The image of his lips attached to her neck as he loved every inch of her body made you weep. It had probably been all of the pent up emotions you were feeling. This was your first ever heart break.

 ---

“Y/N! You need to eat before you head to work.” You tossed the sheets off of your body and huffed. The last thing you needed was a long shift at the mall jewelry store. The required outfit all employees had to wear laid in a heap in the corner of your room which you trudged over to and put on.Once you were ready you headed downstairs where your mom was organizing breakfast and your younger brother devoured his cereal.

“Matt dropped by not that long ago.”

 “Oh yeah? What did he want?” You focused on pouring a cup of coffee for yourself while asking.

“Don’t know. Just said he needed to talk to you.” You turned around to look at your mom and sighed.

“I’m actually not really speaking to him at the moment.” Taking a sip of your liquid energy. 

“Why? What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to be late so I’ll see ya” You grabbed an apple and gave your mom a kiss on the cheek before running out the door

“Bye love!” You were already gone.

Your trusty bike always stayed locked up at the side of the house so you walked over to go grab it before heading to work.

“Y/N!”

Oh god. Whatever was about to happen, you weren’t in the mood. You turned around to see Matt running down his front yard in nothing but an open button up and pants.

She probably stayed the night, you thought.

You gripped onto your bike harder. Hopefully this won’t take long.

“Y/N, wait I have to talk to you.” He tried to catch his breath.

“What Matt?” Your tone was pointed.

“What’s going on with ya? You were acting all strange yesterday. Did I do something?” He stood there defeated. He had no clue what he had done to piss off the most important girl in his life. His best friend.

You groaned and threw your head back.

“Nothing really. I’m sorry I was being a bitch yesterday but I’ve just been under a lot of stress with school.”

Lies. You were at the top of all your classes.

“So are we good?” He asks, eyes hopeful.

“Always Matt.” You gave a smile. But the hurt was still there. His face lights up and he embraces you into a tight hug.

“Ugh Matt, you need to shower mate. You smell like sweat and regret.”

“Aww, you love it. Don’t pretend my manly musk doesn’t turn you on.” He gives you a wink. He of course was playing around. Why wouldn’t he be? You were his best friend. You couldn’t help but have your breath catch in your throat when he winked at you though.

You pretended to be amused.

“Hah hah Matt, very charming. Anyways I’m off to work so…” The laughs being overly sarcastic.

“Oh actually I wanted to ask you one more thing.” You couldn’t help but feel an excitement bubble in your stomach.

“Yeah?” You ask, eyes sparkling

“I need your help with Javed’s birthday.” Tonight Matt was going to throw a surprise party for Javed.

“Oh.” You were slightly disappointed. You didn’t know what you wanted him to say but it definitely wasn’t that.

“You know how I always want him to come to my parties but it’s impossible to get him there?”

“Yeah?”

“Well his parents trust you more than me by a long shot so I need you to pick him up and tell them your taking him to the library or some stupid shit like that.”

“Javed doesn’t know right?” You ask.

“Yeah, and it has to stay that way okay? Alright thanks love. I appreciate it.”

He comes in for one more hug and a kiss on the head.

“No worries Matt. See you tonight.”

He waves and starts walking back towards his house. Emma is waiting in nothing but one of his shirts (your favourite shirt of his nonetheless) in the doorway, watching the exchange go down.

You sigh and mount your bike, heading to work.

—-

That night you dressed up a tad bit. Of course it would raise suspicion if you showed up to Javed’s front door with what you had on so you snuck into your parents room and grabbed one of your dad’s old trench coats.

You let out a nervous puff of air as you sneaked past the living room where your mom was passed out in front of the tv. East Enders playing loudly on the screen. Your 5 year old brother laid on top of her asleep as well. It was pretty cute but there was no time to waste so you quietly snuck out.

The air was slightly nippy from the April weather. But you knew Javed’s house was just across the road so you didn’t mind.

You knocked on the door, hoping Javed would answer so it would be a quick exchange before getting him out of the house but alas, his father answered.

Shit, new plan.

“Hi Mr Khan. Is Javed around?”

“Why?” Uhhhhhh.

“We planned on going to the library to study.”

“Where are your books?” Fuck.

“I just got off work so I still need to drop by my house first.” Nice save Y/N.

He looked at you suspiciously then called out for Javed.

“Javed, your pretty friend is here.” You couldn’t help but giggle but it was cut short when Javed came down the stairs.

“Dad I told you this morning. Y/N and I are going to the library to study.” He had no clue what he was in for.

“Right well you two be good and get your work done.” He wagged a fatherly finger at you both and you nodded. As much as Javed and his dad has their problems, you could tell he wanted what was best for his son. Javed waved goodbye as the door shut behind him. Three heavy textbooks in his arms

“Where are your books Y/N? And what’s with the coat?”

“Oh Javed. You're so smart and yet so naive. Drop the books.” He gives you a confused look and you smirk, putting a sleeping mask over his eyes.

“What are you doing?” He seemed a little panicked as you grabbed the books from him and placed them behind the bush beside the stairs.

“Just relax.” You chuckle leading him away from the house.

He kept his hands out in front of him, trying to get used to the fact that he couldn’t see. It didn’t take long to approach Matt’s. You knew a bunch of people were already inside hiding, trying to stay quiet but failing miserably, probably already pissed drunk. You opened the door and Javed called out towards you. “Y/N? Where are we? Can I take this thing off?” You gently removed it from his eyes, darkness still filling the room. You quickly turned the light switch on and everyone came jumping out from different objects and doorways.

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled. 

Javed jumped back a little in your arms. The celebration didn’t last long though because after they did what they were instructed to do, they all went back to playing loud music and talking. Most of the people here didn’t even know Javed, but they did know free booze.

“Happy Birthday mate!” Matt approached, slightly tipsy with a drink in his hand.

“Matt, what is all this?” Javed seemed a little upset.

“It’s your surprise party. I thought you would like it.”

“Is it hot in here?” Javed interrupts. 

It seemed as though everything was too overwhelming for him. The smell of weed and beer was heavy and his mind was getting clouded. This was definitely not his scene.

“Shit. Hey, Javed, why don’t we go upstairs for a bit yeah?” You grabbed his arm knowing how to calm him down. Matt looked at you with a sorry look in his eyes.

“It’s okay Matt. Just give us a minute.” You said before pushing Javed upstairs. Matt quickly grabbed your wrist, his eyes looking deep into yours. They were soft and sincere. He felt awful.

 “You going to be okay?” You smile and nod. Out of nowhere Emma shows up, super drunk. She wraps herself around Matt.

“Hey babe? Want to go somewhere a bit more private?” She giggled and nibbled at his ear. He gave you one last look. 

You nodded telling him to go have fun. She giggles again and grabs his face, going straight in for a make out. Matt now seemed a tad bit preoccupied. You turned around trying to block it out, while also trying to get Javed into a quieter space. You open a couple doors, either people making out in them or drunkenly crying about their ex. You huffed and finally opened the door to Matt’s dad's office. Empty since it was off limits but for you and Javed there was an exception.  

Javed let out a big sigh and you rested your head against the wall as you both sat on the carpeted floor.

“You know Matt did all of this for you. He may have missed the mark but it’s his way of showing that he cares.”

Javed looks over and nods.

“No I know, I just get worried about what would happen if I ever got caught up in that type of crowd. What my parents would think.”

“I understand.” You reply. It’s silent for a moment.

“Oh wait. I totally forgot. Happy Birthday mate.” You pull out a couple wrapped gifts from the pocket of the trench coat you had just taken off, handing them off to Javed.

He gives you a wide smile and rips open the wrapping paper to reveal a couple of Bruce Springsteen cassettes.

Writing on the front of one of the cassette said,

To J,

The biggest boss I know

Love, Y/N

He chuckles lightly before awkwardly crawling towards you and giving you a hug.

“I love it Y/N, thank you.” You smile and ruffle his hair.

“No problem at all. I’m always here for you, J you know that.”

“I know. Same here.” He smiles.

Silence filled the room, nothing but Matt’s weird music causing the walls to shake.

“So is tonight the night you are going to tell him?”

You groan and bring your knees into your chest, resting your head between them.

Not this again.

“Javed!” You whine. You really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. It was his party for christ sakes.

You should be celebrating, not venting. And besides, it would be highly inappropriate since he has a girlfriend.

“I know you hate it when I pry but I’m going to be honest with you.” You look up at Javed waiting for him to continue.

“It’s kind of annoying watching you pine over him from afar. I’ve been subjected to it for years. It’s my birthday I think you owe me one.”

You scoff.

“You’re something else you know that?”

He shrugs and smirks.

“You have been head over heels since year 7. Don’t you think you deserve that closure?” You sigh and close your eyes, leaning your head against the wall again.

“I ju-, We are such different people. Yes I may be madly in love with him but… I don’t know. His type is for sure not me. I’ll just have to get used to the fact that he will never feel the same way that I do.”

Tears threaten to spill and Javed is quick to come over and comfort you.

“It’s okay. You never know unless you try.”

“But what if it ruins our friendship. He means too much to me to jeopardize that.”

“I don’t know what to say to you Y/N.”

You sigh and wipe your tears suddenly feeling parched.

“I’ll be right back, just going to go grab a drink. You want anything?”

“I’m good.” His voice laced with sympathy.

You nod and get up, a little wobbly but you find your footing. You turn the nob and open the door only to walk right into someone.

Your eyes meet their chest but you already know who it is. Your eyes slowly look up to meet Matt’s.

He looks as though he has just seen a ghost. You're frozen in place, wondering if it’s worth fleeing or retreating back into the dark office space.

“I was coming to check on you guys. Is it true that you have feelings for me?” He asks suddenly, his face still in shock.

“Are you in love with me?” You bow your head in shame, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

“It’s okay Matt just forget it.” You slip past him and start walking away. You wanted to get the hell out of there but you couldn’t leave Javed alone so instead you keep your word and go find the drinks.

Matt follows you down the stairs and over to the kitchen where you were pretending to be busy finding a drink, your mind actually racing after what had just happened.

“Y/N.” He says beside you. You ignore him. He lightly grabs your face so you have no choice but to look into his blue eyes.

“Talk to me.” You push his hand away.

“There’s nothing to talk about Matt.”

He sighs and grabs your hand, pulling you away from the alcohol and into a quiet corner.

“We can’t just pretend I didn’t hear what you said up there. Y/N, do you have feelings for me? Be honest.”

“I might have some feelings for you.” He sighs and rubs his eyes in aggravation.

“I can’t believe you're making me do this.” You frown in confusion.

“Make you do what?” He doesn’t respond but instead walks away from you. Your heart shatters a bit, knowing deep down he wasn’t going to reciprocate and that you would ruin the friendship.

You can’t help but follow him and try to patch up whatever damage you had just caused. But you are stopped in your tracks. You see Emma and Matt talking. She looks upset and suddenly she slaps him across the face, leaving the party in a state. You flinched at the sound but run over to him.

“Matt what did you just do.”

“Was it not obvious?” He looked a little aggravated.

“What are you talking about.” Now you were getting annoyed. He wasn’t being clear with you. The same way you hadn’t been clear with him since year 7.

Once again he grabs your hand and pulls you upstairs. You thought that you guys would go back to the office but he enters the door beside it. His bedroom.

“Matt you're freaking me ou-“ He pushes you against his bedroom door and presses his lips against yours. Your eyes open wide and before it can go any further you push him off of you.

“Bloody hell Matt. You have a girlfriend!” You yell at him as he breathes heavily.

“What do you think I was doing down there? I was breaking up with her… for you.” You laugh in astonishment.

“You broke up with your girlfriend because I said I had feelings for you? Have you gone mad?”

“You don’t understand Y/N. I’ve been in love with you since we first met. I always thought you were beautiful, smart, funny, fun…. Look I may not have realized it then because I was 6 but still, once I understood what love meant I knew I had always loved you. Every girl I have been with has been a distraction to get over you. Now that I know you feel the same way, I’m all yours.”

You looked at him like he was a crazy person.

“You’re fucking insane.” You scoff.

“Insane about you.” You laugh again.

“Oh wow, you find that one on a bubblegum wrapper?” That line was probably the most cringey thing you have ever heard.

He smiles widely. He had always loved to see you laugh. It brightened his day.

“Y/N I’m serious.” He slowly walks back towards you and lightly pushes you back against his door. His left hand leaning against it beside your head.

Your breathing becomes very prominent as he leans down to leave a kiss on your neck.

“Tell me you love me.” He mumbles into your skin. You can’t help but release a small moan.

“Tell me you love me Y/N.” He sounded a bit desperate and honestly you were just as desperate as he was.

“I love you.” You respond in a breathy tone. He groans in pleasure and the kisses along your neck become deeper and they begin moving to different parts of your face. Soon your lips catch his and he holds your face in his hands while he slips his tongue down your throat.

“I’m so sorry it took this long.”

“Me too.” You gasp as he places his hand over your heat.

“Do you want to do this?” He let’s go and stops everything, looking into your eyes.

“Because I am okay with waiting.” He says, his face all blissed out.

You’ve been pent up for too long for this not to happen so you grab his hand and put it back where it was originally.

“I want you to fuck me Matthew.” His dick twitched in his pants when you said that. You had only ever said his full first name when you were really pissed at him.  Now it had a whole new meaning. He liked it.

“Oh baby.” He smirks hoisting you up and swiping all of his lyrics off his desk and placing you down on top of it. You couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesiness as you held onto his neck. It felt like a stupid rom-com. But you didn’t care because you were with him. You kick your white heeled boots off, hating how they squeezed your feet anyways.

He began attacking your neck while between your legs, leaning you back slightly. You shifted your head to give him better access. You couldn’t help but stare out his window, looking into your room.

You were now one of his girls. So many times had there been glances into his bedroom, a new girl wrapped around him.

Jealousy always took over you. But now knowing he only did it because he couldn’t have you turned you on. You smirk slightly as he begins to remove your jean jacket.

“Maybe we should move this over to the bed.” You whisper in his ear. He nods and leaves you, the cold in the room making you shiver. He goes and jumps on his bed, excited like a little kid on Christmas. Trying to spice things up, you walk over to his record player and begin looking through his music library.

“Y/N!” He whines. He’s already taking down his pants and boxers, getting ready for you. You purposely take your time and evilly smirk at him while he begins to pleasure himself, waiting.

“I’m just finding some music.” You simply state trying not to drool over him stroking himself. You finally find a Led Zeppelin record that probably belonged to his dad and place it on the record player.

He groans and throws his head back on the pillow as he speeds up his movements. You crawl over to him, the music playing softly, his other music downstairs overpowering it.

He is quick to grab and pin you down onto his bed. Your arms held in place above your head

“You are so beautiful.” You smile and lift your head slightly to give him a kiss. He shifts a bit down your body and gives you a look, asking for permission. You nod so he starts to gently pull down the straps of your dress, then pulling the top down exposing your bra. It wasn’t as nice as Emma’s but it was uniquely you. A light purple with butterflies. He smiled down at you.

“So beautiful.” He starts to trickle kisses down your neck, then the exposed part of your breasts.

“Just take the bloody thing off Matt.”

“My pleasure.” He smirks. You arch your back slightly so he can work the clasp. It comes off after a couple of attempts and he throws the material to the side. You lay there complety bare from the waist up.

He bites his lip before dipping his head down and taking a nipple into his mouth. You close your eyes in pleasure, tingles moving down your back as you grip his hair.

“Feels so good.” You sputter out as he continues to suck on your chest. Some hickeys included. His tongue swirls around your nipple making you even more sensitive, a build up occurring in your lower stomach.

He lifts his head up and kisses you before pushing himself further down your body, gripping the sides of your dress and pulling it off of you completely, chucking it beside your bra.

His hands graze over your Saturday undies and he’s about to pull them down. You stop him however, bringing him back up so he’s face to face with you.

“Matt. Do you mean everything you are saying? I don’t want to be another number to your body count. This is real to me.” He smiled softly and lays beside you, giving you a peck on the lips.

“I’m serious about this Y/N.” You sigh and look up at the ceiling, in nothing but your underwear. All the times you had laid on his bed while doing homework over the years, you never thought you would end up like this. You weren’t complaining though.

“Let me take over for a bit yeah?” You say looking over at Matt. He smirks and kisses you once more before you jump up and straddle his waist, helping him take off his blue button up, leaving him stark naked other than his bracelets which you always secretly loved.

You lean down and plant kisses on his lips. Then you moved down to his neck, sucking bright purple hickies into his skin. You had a pattern going. Your lips continued down further his body. His chest, stomach that you always have adored when you guys went swimming throughout your school years. You made your way down to his pubic bone ready to take his dick into your mouth.

“Please love, stop teasing and put it in your mouth.” He almost looked like he was in pain. The back of his hand laid on his forehead while he winced, eyes tightly shut and lips pressed into a thin line.

“My pleasure.” You say softly, lightly gripping his throbbing member into your hand.

You slowly began stroking it. A tight enough grip where every once in a while you grazed your thumb over the tip, his thighs clenching every time you did so. You kept a mental note of that.

“Holy fuck! ” He cried out.

You kept going for a bit, pre cum leaking from the head.

Taking this as a signal you wrapped your lips around the tip and licked a couple swirls clockwise.

Matt wasn’t having it though because his hand shot up and gripped your hair, lightly pushing you deeper down his shaft. Surprised you choked a bit, which he caught right away and lifted you up.

“You okay?” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. You smiled and nodded.

“I’m fine, just surprised is all.” He sighs in relief, and lays back down, an arm going under his head.

“Sorry I shouldn’t have forced you.”

“I don’t feel forced love” you reply, adoring the sound of calling him love.

Instead of going back to sucking him off you decide to just go for it.

“Um Matt. You have a condom on you?” He shoots up and leans over to his bedside table, you still in his lap.

“I can’t believe we are doing this.” He says all giddy. You snort and wait for him to get the piece of rubber on his member.

It takes him a second but once he does it he flips you over so you are under him. He helps your shimmy out of your underwear then he brings you into a kiss while he uses his other hand to line himself up with your centre. Once he finds it he slowly enters, a guttural moan leaves his lips. Once he is fully inside you, he leans his forehead against yours, breathing heavily through his nose. A tear slips out from your eye from how tight you are and he notices, wiping it away.

“I’ll move in a second. There is no rush.” You nod, silently thanking him for waiting. Once your body is accustomed to his length you give him a tap and he slowly starts coming out. He then enters again, a steady speed developing. You whimper and let out heavy breaths as he slowly pounds into you.

“Go faster. For fuck sake Matt, go faster.” He speeds up leaving your eyes to roll in the back of your head. It felt so right having him inside of you. You were in pure bliss.

Sweat starts forming on his forehead and his tongue sticks out slightly as he pounds into you relentlessly. You weren’t totally there yet so you let him circle your clit with his index and middle finger helping you build up faster. Once you got there you cried out,

“I’m gonna fucking cum Matt!”

“Look down love.”

You followed his orders and watched as his length moved in and out from your dripping core. That was enough to finish you so you nodded.

“Yup I’m there, I’m there. Cum with me baby.” You try to coherently say. He starts to twitch inside of you and you both let out loud moans of release.

He cums into the condom and crashes onto your chest, still inside of you.

The record had stopped but music from downstairs and yelling could still be heard from all corners of the house.

Inside the room was all pants and heavy breathing,

“That. Was. Fucking. Amazing.” He breathed out while you rubbed his back and played with his hair.

I love you Y/N.” He mumbled into your breasts. You laugh slightly at his childishness.

“I love you too bub.”

“We should have done that so much sooner.” He lifts his head up from your bare chest to say.

“What does this mean for us?” you ask, a slight worry in your voice.

“I want nothing more than to be with you Y/N. I would do anything for you.”

You smile, pushing his head back into your chest. He starts to lull off, listening to your heartbeat and breathing.

“Oh my god Javed!” You were brought out of your dreamland, remembering your best friend you left in that room about half an hour ago.

Matt’s eyes went wide and you both shot up from the bed and began to get dressed. Hopefully he was okay and wasn’t in a corner crying.

Once you were both somewhat collected, other then Matt’s badly done buttoning job of his shirt and both or your disheveled hair, you ran out.

You open the office door beside Matt’s room. He wasn’t in there.

“Shit.” You mutter, running downstairs. Matt close behind you. The party on the main floor stayed alive and well, even with the host's absence.

You look around and notice a group laughing in the living room. You walk in to see Javed, holding a blunt telling a funny story to a group of very interested people. He was the life of the party.

“Matt come here, you won’t believe this!” You call out to your now boyfriend.

He joins you and looks at Javed all surprised.

“J?” He asks. Javed stops his fascinating story and walks over to the two of you.

“Hey guys. I’m sorry for earlier. I’m having a great time. Really thank you for the party Matt.”

“No problem J.” Matt looked dumbfound.

“I’m sorry I left you in the office J, I got caught up.” You try to explain yourself. Javed smirks at the likes of the two of you.

“No worries and by the way thank you for the birthday present. “ You look at him confused.

“Now I don’t have to listen to you whine about Matt anymore. Same with you mate.” Your eyes went wide.

“Wait what? You knew all along Matt liked me back and never said anything.” He shrugs

“It was never my place. Anyways, next time just remember that the walls are thin in this place.” He winks before walking off, starting to talk to some girl from college.

You and Matt stand there dumbfounded.

[jeonsweetpea]

Babe, I am still REELING over ms7. Like… I’m shook. I don’t remember if I mentioned it, but initially I was jokingly suspicious about the professors… and then suspicious about jimin. Like we didn’t know that much about him other than he was dating her bff… and that he drinks human blood (which actually was why he seemed sus in my mind). UGH BUT OMG. I’m SHOOK. Absolutely QUAKING. Alright, let’s start from the beginning. You started off ch7 hard and fast with the aftermath of hoseok’s surprise attack and the fact that she was INFERTILE to begin with?! And also, can I just say… like bravo on world building. Like I know you’re using tvd and the originals as your inspiration. But I’ve watched those shows and I love how you’ve used some of those concepts, but created your own original story with it!! My heart is hurtin for her rn since her odds of ever having biological children of her own have gone from unlikely to seemingly impossible… but also… if she mated with another hybrid would she be able to conceive?? I mean with all these plot twists, you never know!! Ok and the way jk is absolutely wrecked and carrying her limp body?!? The way he reacted when she “died” and the fact that he stayed by her bedside until she woke up??? AND WHO LET HOSEOK OUT ANYWAYS?!? Lookin at you Park Jimin… or even Ari as much as I hate to be suspicious of her!!! But what would motivate either of them to help Hoseok escape??? And as much shit Hoseok as put her through… I can’t help but feel like he’s an innocent pawn and that he’s being played by SOMEONE. And wow… the smut tho. I love how Tae knows her well enough to understand she needs comfort. “Even if you’re not mine, I’m yours. 100%.” hahahah and the way I HOLLERED “Um… can I finish first?” I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY BROKE NAMJOONS BONSAI!!

And the revelation of her mother having an affair with an underaged minor!?!? WHO’S PARK JIMIN?!?!? I AM SCREAMING. First of all, can’t fault her mom for bangin jimin. And secondly, WHAT A TWIST I COULD NEVER HAVE PREDICTED THAT. Also, I loved getting more of her backstory!! Which is… so sad. I can see why she essentially escaped her family problems by enrolling at this supernatural uni. The part where taekook meet her mom was so well done. I loved the dialogue in that scene. “‘Aren’t you charming… You’re her… boyfriend?’... ‘Ex-boyfriend.’... ‘Whatever Jungkook. Least she still loves me. She told me that herself.’ ‘...What?’” AND YOU INCLUDED THE THE JK BUN I WISH PERISH. Pls I could tell poor jay kay is HUUUUUUURT thinkin she’s still IN love with tae. Ok overall, here are my new suspicions. Ari- a witch, multiple potions including one where she can phase through walls, easy access to mc’s belongings and personal affairs, and the Parks hired a witch to dessicate jimin… could it have been her family??? And Jimin- who has a past with her mother, clearly obsessive and abusive and a past ripper, AND HAS A MOTIVE TO HURT HER. Jimin who was supposed to be watching the kids… clearly wasn’t, makes me think he’s UP TO NO GOOD. Ok, but my favorite scene is where she’s snoopin through Jin’s room for jimin’s files and jungkook “suddenly” appears. “You pulled him in by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips together, experiencing a rush of tingly butterflies as if it were the first time. He froze, unsure of what you were doing, but his heart was set ablaze regardless. Closing his eyes, he savored the kiss and placed his hands on your waist.” Ok but was she feelin HIS BUTTERFLIES??? OR WERE THEY HERS? TL;DR i’m still sittin here lookin at the puzzle pieces in my hands, but idk what the puzzle is?? Seriously good plot work. Really keeps me guessing and I AM FIENDIN FOR ANSWERS!!! Thanks for sharin bubs!! Sending you all my love!!💕💕

SUUUUZZZIIIIEEEE 💕 I was so excited to hear your thoughts when I heard you read part 7. Look at the length of this ask, it’s so beautiful and extraordinary. You’re a gift! 🥺 I will reply under the cut. Hehehe.

I recall you jokingly being suspicious of them! And I was like … 🤭 Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming. LOL. Jimin’s an interesting character and it seems there are more layers to him than meets the eye. 👀

Yes, she was infertile to begin with. 😭 OC seems to always be facing constraints in her life and it sucks. And HAKLDLFKDJK PLEASE, I’M BLUSHING! 💖 I forgot you’ve seen both shows so you definitely understand the world, but thank you for realizing how I’m trying to make it my own! 🥰

but also… if she mated with another hybrid would she be able to conceive?

AHEH… this is the star question, isn’t it… 😉 Nothing’s impossible!

AND WHO LET HOSEOK OUT ANYWAYS?!? Lookin at you Park Jimin… or even Ari as much as I hate to be suspicious of her!!! But what would motivate either of them to help Hoseok escape??? And as much shit Hoseok as put her through… I can’t help but feel like he’s an innocent pawn and that he’s being played by SOMEONE. And wow… the smut tho. I love how Tae knows her well enough to understand she needs comfort. “Even if you’re not mine, I’m yours. 100%.” hahahah and the way I HOLLERED “Um… can I finish first?” I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY BROKE NAMJOONS BONSAI!!

AHDLKFKDSJFL WHO CAN YOU TRUST, AHHHH. I think we can all safely say Hoseok is seeming less suspicious now that more facts are revealed. Can never be too careful! 😅 AHAHAHAH TAE IS SHAMELESS AND THE BONSAI AHDKLFJLKDS I LOVED ADDING THAT PART. Made me giggle. 🌱

And the revelation of her mother having an affair with an underaged minor!?!? WHO’S PARK JIMIN?!?!? I AM SCREAMING. First of all, can’t fault her mom for bangin jimin. And secondly, WHAT A TWIST I COULD NEVER HAVE PREDICTED THAT.

BIG yikes in how Jimin and OC’s mother had a connection in the past. 😧 LOL at how you said you can’t fault the mom ahsdlfdjkfdjkl. RELATABLE. So glad the twist did its job!!! I want to keep things exciting!

Also, I loved getting more of her backstory!! Which is… so sad. I can see why she essentially escaped her family problems by enrolling at this supernatural uni.

I love OC so much, she’s a strong lady. 😩❤️

The part where taekook meet her mom was so well done. I loved the dialogue in that scene. “‘Aren’t you charming… You’re her… boyfriend?’... ‘Ex-boyfriend.’... ‘Whatever Jungkook. Least she still loves me. She told me that herself.’ ‘...What?’” AND YOU INCLUDED THE THE JK BUN I WISH PERISH. Pls I could tell poor jay kay is HUUUUUUURT thinkin she’s still IN love with tae. 

MWAHAHAHAHA the timing was too good for Tae NOT to rub it in... 😅 AND YES, LONG LIVE MANBUN JK!!! ❤️ It’s okay, JK can handle some suffering ahdklfjdkls. 

Ok overall, here are my new suspicions. Ari- a witch, multiple potions including one where she can phase through walls, easy access to mc’s belongings and personal affairs, and the Parks hired a witch to dessicate jimin… could it have been her family??? 

GIRL, you’re so brilliant! Look at you recalling all those details and piecing things together!!! I can’t give too much away but WOW. 👏

And Jimin- who has a past with her mother, clearly obsessive and abusive and a past ripper, AND HAS A MOTIVE TO HURT HER. Jimin who was supposed to be watching the kids… clearly wasn’t, makes me think he’s UP TO NO GOOD. 

It’s almost like we never know where Jimin is... ever. 🤔

Ok, but my favorite scene is where she’s snoopin through Jin’s room for jimin’s files and jungkook “suddenly” appears. “You pulled him in by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips together, experiencing a rush of tingly butterflies as if it were the first time. He froze, unsure of what you were doing, but his heart was set ablaze regardless. Closing his eyes, he savored the kiss and placed his hands on your waist.” Ok but was she feelin HIS BUTTERFLIES??? OR WERE THEY HERS?

Hahaha, I just finished Danny Phantom and I had to include a fakeout makeout. LOLOL. 😄 And the butterflies were hers! Both actually! 💕

TL;DR i’m still sittin here lookin at the puzzle pieces in my hands, but idk what the puzzle is?? Seriously good plot work. Really keeps me guessing and I AM FIENDIN FOR ANSWERS!!! Thanks for sharin bubs!! Sending you all my love!!💕💕

AWWWWWW, YOU ARE SUCH A DELIGHT. Thank you so much for reading and keeping up with my series.  You never fail to make me smile and to know someone is paying this much attention to all the details I try so hard to craft - it’s just so heart warming. I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR READING! 😘🌸

[wtfholland]

late night talks with tom☽

a/n: i discovered this band called cigarettes after sex about a year and a half ago and fell in love. honestly, their music is the most calming, mellow, and relaxing stuff i’ve ever heard. i found this playlist that has their music with a couple other songs from different artists, who are just as amazing♥ this also turned out to be a lot longer than i anticipated but OH WELL ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

masterlist♡

request♡

[for dialogue, italic is for y/n and bold is for tom]

listen to this while reading♫

i think we can all agree that everyone gets really honest when they have late night talks

in my opinion, i think it’s one of the most special things you can do with someone

you're laying in your bed, staring up at your ceiling

it’s late and both of your parents are already sleeping

there is nothing that sparked your interest on netflix and you’ve already finished the book that you’ve been reading that week

none of your friends were awake

...except for one

your room is dark except for the beautiful glimmer coming from the fairy lights you have hanging on your headboard

your room is also quiet except for the soft music coming from your laptop (*nudge, nudge* the playlist i linked lel)

the one constant thing that kept grazing your thoughts was tom

his sparkling eyes, enchanting laugh, beautiful smile, fluffy hair and just...everything

just the thought of him made your heart swell and practically beat out of your chest

you’ve considered texting him but you knew he was constantly busy and needed rest after getting back from filming

but your panties got into an extreme bunch so you gave into your hearts demands

a couple seconds after this text, your phone starts buzzing

you waited a couple seconds before answering because you didn’t want to seem desperate (literally fucking me in real life)

“hello?”

“‘ello love.”

“oh, my god! is this the real tom holland? calling me? i am...honoured.”

you hear him laugh softly on the other end and you melt

“oh, shut up. you’re the only super star here, y/n. how are you doing? why couldn’t you sleep?”

“oh, you know, i just couldn’t stop thinking about you. how in love i am with you, how sexually frustrated i am with you AND also how bloody cold it happens to be in my goddamn house” you think

“ehrm, i’ve just been...thinking about a bunch of stuff all day and laying down just kind of made me think about these things even more.”

“really? enlighten me. i’ve been in the same predicament myself for the past few nights.”

you end up bullshitting and telling tom how you have feelings for this one guys who you “work with” but how you’re too chicken shit to make a move or even drop hints that you’re interested

you keep trying to change subject. for a while, you're having a very serious conversation about how insignificant you feel because compared to the rest of the world (actually, the universe) you’re two specs of dust

*as a bonus, watch this and be mind blown*

“right?! like, honestly, i know that harry probably thinks we’re bat shit crazy and just being childish but, there is no way that we are the only forms of life. i’m calling it right now, there are aliens out there.”

“no kidding. when they come to earth, they’ll probably probe harry.”

you both start laughing. tom’s laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever heard. it sounded better than your favorite song

“so, uh...does your...man of interest believe in aliens?”

“uh, yeah, he actually does! isn’t that awesome?”

“huh, okay then.”

...

“whatta fuckin’ loser.” tom whispers

you’re actually dying on the inside. he’s so...ugh

tom quickly changes the entire mood of the conversation

he starts talking about a fake girl, trying to make you jealous

“hm well, i don’t think i told you yet but there is this one really fit girl who i met not too long ago.”

you immediately feel your stomach drop and your heart shrink

“uh, that’s good...i guess. what’s her name?”

“uh...tracy...lancaster.”

“oh...cool.”

“yeah, she goes to my gym.”

 shit. FUCK. 

in addition, you felt your self esteem crumble because you don’t go to the gym

“there’s no way he’d like me. i knew it. i’m stupid for ever thinking that he could be hiding the fact that he has feelings for me. who am i kidding? he’ll only ever be interested in models or girls who are drop dead gorgeous. not...someone like me.” you thought

you couldn’t be anymore WRONG

spoiler alert: he likes you

he loves you actually, but he’s just as big of a wuss as you are to admit his feelings, in fear that he’ll fuck up your friendship

“so...what does tracy look like?”

“she’s...blonde. and, uh...nice looking...stuff. y’know...the works.”

this bOY

okay, moving on

tom continues to push you to talk about your crush

but you’re ready to crank this thing up a notch AND DESTROY HIS INTEREST IN “TRACY” AHHH (sorry)

so you try to make him jealous now, without knowing that he was already initially jealous

“he just...he treats me extremely well. he understands everything but i know in the back of my head that he’s just being friendly, and that’s what hurts the most. i feel like i’m wasting my time but part of me wants to keep hoping that he possibly feels something for me. but, he’s like...so hot. probably the hottest guy i’ve seen.yeah...he’s, uh...preeeeetty bangin’.”

tom stays quiet for while

you start to notice how everytime you brought something up that you liked about your “work buddy” (WHO IS ACTUALLY TOM), he’d give you shitty responses

“he has pretty eyes.”

“oh, nice”

“he also skateboards, and plays a little bit of guitar.”

“hm, i can do both (sorta).”

HE. IS. SO. OBLIVIOUS. AHHHH.

“he used to take dancing. his hair is super shaggy and lovely. not gonna lie, but i’ve thought of running my fingers thro-”

“he probably dances like he has two left feet. what’s this clown’s name anyways?”

“oh! it’s uh...tyler! tyler nuh..nolan.”

“hmm...that’s basic.”

you becoming more and more confused

“why are you shutting down everything i’m saying about him?”

...

“tom?”

“sorry, love. can you repeat that? i was, uh...distracted.”

“i said why are you shutting him down, like the things i’m telling you about him?

“i’m not?”

“yeah, you kind of are.”

“ugh, whatever...”

...

...

“jerk.”

“brat.”

...

“UGH, do you want me to be honest?”

“yes!”

“i’m dismissing what you’re saying because every single time you’ve ever fancied someone, they’ve always broken your heart. i’ve been here with you through every single heartbreak you’ve endured to pick up the pieces and quite honestly, love...it fucking hurts me to see what they do to you. i’m sorry to be so blunt but you’ve never had the best of luck when it comes to love. i just worry about you, all the time. i don’t want anyone to hurt you, especially not this knob that you’re so flustered over. you’re smart, brilliant i should say. YOUR eyes are pretty, you are so talented, so outgoing, down to earth, kind, absolutely beautiful...you’re so...you.”

yOu ArE qUaKiNg

tom immediately retreats and wants to die because of this sudden outburst

He Is QuAkInG

there is a good 60 seconds of silence

you’re in complete disbelief. the guy who you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember just made you fall even harder for him (if that was even possible)

“tommy...you think i’m beautiful? you think all that stuff about me?”

“...yeah...i do. i think you’re...the most beautiful girl on the planet. i mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

you feel yourself starting to tear up

this is it. 

this was the perfect time to tell him.

“tom...i...there’s something i need to tell you and i don’t know what you’re going to think after i tell you but...i just want you to know...”

“go ahead, love. tell me. i have something i’d like to tell you to...”

deep bREATHS, y/n

your heart is beating so fucking fast, you think you’ll drop dead right then and there

“here we go.” you thought

there’s no going back now

“i can’t keep hiding this from you...how i feel about you. tom, i...i’m in love with you and i know how stupid that sounds. ‘tyler nolan’ isn’t a real person. i just made him up but i was really just talking about you. you’re my best friend and i never anticipated this to ever happen but, i don’t know what it is about you. you’re honestly one of my favorite people ever; the way you carry yourself, your selflessness, you’re just so perfect, and please don’t try to tell me you’re not. i love everything about you, right down to the flaws you think you have. i...know that you don’t feel the same way towards me but after tonight, i just felt like i should get this off my chest. i can tell you that i’ve felt this way towards you for as long as i can remember. i want to be with you, in every way, shape and form. i love you...thomas stanley holland. so much.”

...

mutha fuggin silence

tom

is

DYING

LIIIIIIIIKE 

😶

XABZNJAUIBDNLAISNI he’s actually ready to drop his pants and marry you

you immediately start freaking out because he’s not saying anything

“tommy...say something, please...”

tom starts tearing up because he’s so happy

“this is a miracle.” he thought

“i fucking love her. oh god, i love her”

“y/n...i lo--”

...

...

“tom?”

...

“hello? tom, are you still there?”

you moved the phone away from your ear and looked at your screen

the damn thing was back on your lock screen

you checked your battery, which now dropped to 43%

then you realized...

hIS FUCKING PHONE MUST’VE DIED

meanwhile

he’s actually freaking the fuck out at his house

“FUCKING HELL!!! SHIT!!!!” 

all of a sudden, he hears banging on his door

“TOM! SHUT UP, YOU’RE SO BLOODY LOUD, YOU WANKER!” he heard sam on the other side of the door 

tom ignores him and frantically tries to look for an extra charger in his room because haz ruined the one he already had

sam pulls open the door

“mate, be quiet! mum can hear you from upstairs. what are you doing? it’s almost two in the morning.” sam whisper-yelled

“y/n just poured her heart out to me on the phone and i need to tell her that i feel the same way she feels but my bloody phone died when i was about to tell her! do you have your charger? can i please borrow it?” tom exclaimed, frantically

“tessa bit mine, i need to get a new one. just ask mum for her’s in the morning. good god, go to sleep.” sam replies, storming out of tom’s room

tom sighs, defeated

he feels terrible about getting cut off because he’s worried about what you’re thinking

YOU ARE FREAKING OUT

you are tossing and turning, trying to figure out what tom was going to say

“i lo...? i love you but in a platonic way? i lost you, did you just say you love me?” you thought

UGH

ain’t nobody wanna wait

you probably got around two hours of sleep that night

finally the next day, your eyes snap open

you scramble to reach for your phone, which is sitting on your bedside table, with your charger hanging out of the bottom

you rip the cord out of your phone and find five texts from tom

thank GOD

you let out a sigh

YOU WERE SO RELIVED THAT HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY JUST HANG UP ON YOU

but like

dafuq

hang on?

HANG ON?

you notice that he sent these over an hour ago

suddenly, you heard a bang coming from outside your room

wTF 

your parent(s) is/are at work and your sibling(s) (if you have any) is/are gone on a school trip

you start freaking out

you quickly tumbled out of bed (your feet get caught on your blankets so you ate shit lel)

scooping yourself off the floor, you slowly but surely pull open your bedroom door

you have 911 dialled into your phone on standby

you tiptoe down the hall and peek your head into each door way of the main floor

nothing

there’s another bang

“the creep must be in the kitchen stealing my food” you thought

you trot over to the kitchen and you shat a brick

fuCKING TOM HAS HIS BACK TURNED TOWARDS YOU

“WHAT THE FUCK???”

he dropped a pan in fear, the metal clanking against the stove loudly

he FUCKING SHRIEKED (if tom shrieking isn’t adorable, then honestly wtf is)

tom whirled around quickly with his hand over his heart, trying to calm his breathing

“bloody hell! i just pissed myself, i didn’t even hear you come in.”

you moved towards him, the memories of your confession began to invade your head again

your knees buckled a little bit underneath you with every step you took but you tried your best to stand your ground, not letting the intimidation get to you

“what are you doing here?”

you look behind him

thAT FUQQIN QT

he was preparing breakfast for the two of you

scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, breakfast sausage, toast, a bowl of strawberries, freshly squeezed orange juice and of course, the tea you both loved so much

you look back up at him in awe and he’s just smiling down at you

“i’m sorry for all the noise, love. i let myself in with the key you have hidden in the flower pot outside and i, uh...wanted to make you breakfast...”

you are still silent

this is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for you

“and i’m also here to tell you that...”

suddenly, tom was leaning down. his hand cupped your cheek and his arm wrapped around your waist

his lips were mere inches away from yours

instinctively, you placed both your hands on his biceps, holding them as you pushed forward too, closing the space between the both of you

MUTHA FUCKIN FIREWORKS ARE GOING OFF IN YALLS HEADS

of course both of you have kissed other people before but this kiss...

THIS KISS.

lemme tell u sumtin

this was the best friggin kiss either of you have ever had

tom was the first to pull away, but he rested his forehead on yours and chuckled under his breath

“i’m here to tell you that...i love you too. i’m so in love with you. i’ve been waiting ages for you to tell me what you told me last night.”

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing

“oh and, uh...’tracy lancaster’? she isn’t a real person either, just like ‘tyler’.”

your eyes scrunch a little as you giggled from how childish the two of you really are

you bring your arms up and wrap them around his neck, as his snake around your waist

you both stand there, full of content and full of love

“god...i love you, angel. you’re so bloody perfect. thank you for loving me.” tom whispered

the only thing you can think of is

“wowie, i guess i’m not just a spec of dust in this universe after all.”

after a while, you quickly left to brush your teeth and wash up for breakfast

you sit down at the table with tom, the both of you laughing, going over the times you both figured out your feelings towards one another

you both really enjoyed the breakfast

but let’s just say that breakfast wasn’t the only thing tom ate that morning

lol

sorry

kill me

byE

[thepartsyoullneversee]

So today I had ma first proper fucked up thing happen with drugs that has actually scared me a wee bit but obviously no that much since I’ll be oot my wee banger again in 4 days time but aye, anywho, so we were all seshin over the weekend n it got tae Sunday everyone’s dying aff slowly but surely making their way hame so I thought to masel fuck it git yer arse in gear an git yersel in a 10 minute taxi up the road, after all I was the last man standing, as per usual. So books the taxi n goes about gettin ma shit together and ma nose starts to get itchy.. my eye catches the plate on the table with what can only be described as the mother fuckin daddy slugs of all slugs that I’d previously thought would make a good el night cap.

My phone buzzes - the taxis outside.

Everythings packed, only thing empty is my nose and my baggy and wallet if I had tae leave this phenomenal Special K on the plate to waste so like any other cunt, I hunkered doon, squared up the slug wae ma el school Reilly’s pool hall card, picked up the straw and after 6 full whack snorts it was finally all gone. Nae mare..all I had to do was get masel fae the front door tae the taxi and oot the other side. Oh I fuckin made it right into that taxi right but that’s where the story begings my friend. That’s where it all properly begins…

So it’s yer usual chat where ye goin? How ye dain? And so on right so a tell him where am goin and he’s still talkin away n I’m sat there thinking tae masel it’s takin me fuckin ages to answer masel in ma own heed tae the point a was near stoppin n start goin fuckin backwards let alone process anything this guy’s sayin to me. Aw a want is ma bed and ma burd fur a cuddle eae a big fat spliff y'know? So aye I’m no even in the car 2 minutes - like we are literally aboot 5 streets away from the hoose he picked me up at and still another 3.4 miles tae the destination tae go - and aw I can feel masel starting to phase right oot so a take oot ma phone n open up ma camera - fuck knows why.

Then the next thing I know I see the polis station tae ma left which is about 2 miles away fae ma hoose where he was supposed to drap me aff and the taxi drivers geein it he’s takin me to the polis station. Now bare in mind I’ve absolutely nae clue what’s happened and why or how long I’d been in his motor for so I start trying tae ask why he’s takin me tae the polis station when he knew the address I was going tae, I have more than enough cash on me tae cover the journey cause its never any mare than £7 for the 10/15 minute journey so wit the fuck happened in the last roughly 30 minutes to make him take me tae the polis rather than ma ain hoose. So trying to figure it oot whilst tryin tae find words fae somewhere tae ask wit was goin oan and fuck knows where fae a tell ye, but I managed tae find and get oot 3 words tae him “why the polis?” while waving two tenner notes tae him like hulloo av goat yer money wits the issue? It’s only 7 quid av goat 20 here? Taxi driver pulls up ootside the station, turns the engine aff takes aff his seatbelt n turns n looks at me n goes

“Hi hen welcome back don’t worry yer no in any harm or anythin you just got in the motor n ye completely spaced oot. Ye couldny string a sentence the gither n couldny even tell me yer name. Ye awrite? Wit did ye take? A took ye tae the drap aff address but when I asked ye for the cash ye just sat startin at yer hons like ye had nothin so ye couldny pay the fair n ye wur in absolutely nae fit state to be papped oot at a door step that I didny even know if ye had keys intae or that so I thought I would drive slowly round the long way fae the drap aff address tae the polis station tae gee ye time tae come round before we made any decisions and thankfully ye have y'know hen. Ye had me a bit worried so ye did.”

Noo am literally still phasing in n oot tryin tae take in everythin this blokes sayin and in ma ain heed tryin tae figure oot wit the fucks went oan but slowly but surely I pull words fae ma arse n still speaking slower than Steven Hawkins did, I start tae proper apologise tae the guy lit mate am so so fuckin sorry man I thought I woulda made it back tae the flat in time. Obviously that wisny the case here but i dae have yer money I have mare than enough look…See?? Can ye please just take me hame am aw good like I just need ma scratcher y'know? Thats if ye’ll still have me of course?“

Taxi driver gees it the whack a questions one by one like he’s been here done it aw before

Him: "Right so ye know yer no in any harm or that aye? ” Me: “aye”

Him: “And ye have came back too a wee bit noo aye?” Me: “Aye”

Him: “ And ye just wanty go hame n ye’ve definitely goat keys tae get intae the hoose aye?” Me: “Aye, that’s right aye please if ye could buddy.”

Him “Right hen just you take yer time n comin back round I’ll get ye up the road the noo. So what did ye take if ye dont mind me askin?”

Me: “awh driver am so sorry bud I really am. I eh took some gold ol Special K before I go in the motor”

Him: “Awh fur fuck sake hen. Ye need to watch yersel with these things noo a days. Ye dunno what yer gettin”

Me: “awk it was definitely ket got a good guy fur it y'know? Was just really fuckin bangin and was a big daddy slugger line I took”

Him: “aye hen I’ve had a few ae them masel yer that used tae such good shit that yer surprised it could be even better than usual y'know?”

Me: “Exactly mate. Exactly. Here mate thank you so much for being so reasonable n puttin up wae ma shit I hope I wisny a cunt or anythin tae you I’m so fuckin sorry if I was”

Him: “ naw hen ye were awrite honestly was just worried aboot ye. I seen yer wee eyebaws flicker when I first mentioned the polis I could see that wis the thing that if anything it would be the thing that would get ye back tae normality so I just kept sayin it to ye on the way to the polis station so ye knew wit was happenin and where ye were goin but yer aw good noo yer almost hame ye can get in tae yer pit n right intae la la Land.”

After aboot 10 minutes of back and forth chat and what felt like the fuckin worlds most longest taxi journey I was finally back at the original drap aff address. My ain hoose. Driver then stated the damage £14.50 for the near 9 mile trip round a part of Glesga - that's a 12 minute journey turned into a 40 minute journey so obviously I handed him the £20 n telt him tae keep the change for being such a fuckin true decent human being n a proper gentleman towards a young lassie alone in a vulnerable, albeit self inflicted state.

Might no be a lot of cash I gave him extra but am no minted n it wis aw I had oan me cause well let’s face it this stories aboot basically traveling another completely fantasy world/planet in the comfort of a Glesga Hampden taxi on St Paddy’s weekend.

Before I get oot the motor he makes me look out my keys so I know where they are. Make sure I have ma phone and any wallets or money too and lastly but no least tae look after masel and please don’t ever take ket before gettin in a taxi again cause that was fuckin scary hen. Everywan needs their blow oots but just be careful awrite? I’m glad yer awrite noo so goan get intae yer hoose feed yer animals and git tae yer bed and have a big spliff"

Me: “I canny thank ye enough driver yer a life saver and that is literally the case the day. You saved my life. I could have got intae any motor. It could have been any cunt driving the motor and bmmpphh before ye know it people are looking back to where I was last seen rather than lookin forward to where I should be goin yknow? Anyway thank you again man you truly are a legend n shook his hon for like the 50th time and wished him a happy days work an all the best in his future life n that I’ll definitely take this wae me.”

Oot the motor I go and stagger and fumble my way against the wind intae the building, up in the lift n spend a further 20 minutes trying tae get intae ma own hoose cause none ae the keys would fuckin work cause they were aw like marshmallow flumps and just wouldny go intsa the lock to the point I threw a pathetic tantrum and until a recent moment of clarification (I’m still hazy as fuck it’s only been like 7 hours since this happened) I have come to the realization I actually just sobered up enough for the keys to look like keys and tae pick the right key and get the door open before swiftly falling back in tae an unnatural coma state instead of actually “sweet talking” ma keys into one of them to miraculously stop being flumps and in fact be keys and open the door like I thought I had…

Noo am lying in ma bed still hazy as fuck writing aw this oot for absolutely nae reason but tae remind masel an important lesson…

Don’t leave the hoose on ket until yer a bit mare wae it and definitely no after a mother fuckin daddy slug..

Anyways until next time.. 👁️

[phancystuff]

The True Meaning of “Punk” Ch. 1

Pairing: Dan/ Phil; Phan Genre: High school AU; chaptered Warning: NSFW (see tags for more specifics) Word Count: 3029/ ? Summary: It is Dan’s last year of sixth form and he is ready to just say ‘fuck it’ and be himself for once. He meets a sinfully attractive (but actually dorky) uni student named Phil who helps him in his quest to embrace and express himself.  Notes: This is a work in progress and will be updated regularly (It will help if I have some people cheering me on!). This isn’t going to have a lot of complex plot, honestly. I just want Dan to… explore. Tags: smut, fluff, high school AU, university AU, slight age difference, pastel!Dan, punk!Phil, drinking, eventual kinkiness, sub/dom, bdsm, daddy kink, feminization, mild homophobia (some of which will happen during sex), pain play

Read the fic on AO3!

Dan stared at himself, contemplating his face and naked body through a mirror dripping with condensation. He was glad that his skin was cooperating today; it was pale, but smooth and unblemished. His eyes traced the beauty marks and tiny freckles that dotted his cheeks and jaw. He wouldn’t need any concealer.

Dan reached under the sink and pulled out a small, unassuming black bag full of makeup products. He started with mascara, pumping the wand into the silver tube and covering it with black product. He had been blessed with long, thick eyelashes as it was. But, mascara lengthened them even more. His eyes looked bigger, more feminine. He smiled at his already changing face.

Next, he swiped his finger in some glittery, silver eyeshadow and wiped it across his eyelids. The woman at Sephora who sold him the tiny pan had been so kind. He had shyly asked her to guide him to the best products and she gushed about silver making his eyes sparkle. Dan observed himself; she hadn’t been wrong. Experimentally, he fluttered his enhanced eyelashes. He tried to imagine himself as a stranger. Did he look cute? Coy? Like a freak?

Dan’s fingers found the tube of makeup that would complete his look tonight. There was nothing particularly special about the lip gloss, except that it was peach-colored and tasted like strawberries. He grasped the little tube in his fingers even after the gloss was applied to his plump lips. He knew he’d lick the delicious shit off within five minutes of arriving to the party. He was going to keep it handy for reapplication.

Dan made eye contact with himself while he ran his fingers through his damp hair, messing with the curls, tugging experimentally. A shiver ran down his spine and he let go of his hair, not wanting to go down that path before a party.

A quick glance at his phone revealed that he didn’t have any more time to fuck around. Dan decided to embrace his natural state for tonight, choosing to towel dry his hair and let the curls fall where they may. He wrapped a towel around his waist and padded out of the bathroom.

Dan entered his room and dressed quickly. As the soft fabric of his floral romper slid up his thighs, his stomach twisted with nerves. This wasn’t the first time that he had dressed traditionally feminine, but it was his first time he was wearing the romper out. He eyed his hairless, exposed legs. Should he go for something safer? Dan shook his head, buttoning the last button on the romper and slipping on white, high-top converse shoes. This year, Dan was going to be himself for once. Try it on for size. Dan’s phone rang and a picture of Louise falling out of a chair, with a hilarious look of sheer doom on her face, popped up on his iPhone.

“Yo yo yo, Louise! You ready for this?” Dan grinned into his mirror, eyeing his finished look. Appraising himself. Trying to look through the eyes of a stranger.

“Dan– Daniel. You sound like a grandfather.” Louise deadpanned on the other end. “Have you finished preening yet? I can practically hear you staring at yourself in the mirror.”

Dan blushed, despite the fact that she couldn’t see that she was 100% correct. “Oi, fuck off, mate. And I’m sure your ends aren’t freshly dyed and coiled into perfect locks.”

“Touche, Howell. I’m sure we both will look fabulous. I’m on my way soon to pick you up.”

“Ok.” Dan pat nervous fingers over his drying curls, careful not to damage their natural shape. “Hey… Lou… romper or no?”

He could hear the fondness in her voice. “Romper, duh. I’ll see you five, deary.”

And then Louise and Dan were at Felix’s house way too soon. Dan worried at the hem of his romper, thinking that it had been a mistake, but not wanting to feel the shame of putting on the back-up pants he had slipped into his backpack last-minute. Not wanting to feel the shame of pretending he was just wearing a regular shirt. ‘Ugh, socializing. Putting myself out there. Why am I here?’ Louise sensed Dan’s growing anxiety. She parked her beater on the side of the road and turned to Dan. “You ready to find a nice boy to suck face with?”

Dan groaned and pressed his palms into his eyes, careful not to rub his makeup off. “Shut up, mom. You’re embarrassing me.”

“Daniel Howell look at me. You look bangin’. Fleeked, as the kids say. Boys are gonna be pawing to get to you. I will have to fight them off with my– breasts.”

“Breasts?” Dan peeked up at Louise through his fingers and her eyes widened.

“I don’t know why I said that.”

And just like that, the two friends were doubled over laughing, tears in their eyes. Dan shook his head. What could go wrong with his best friend by his side?

He pulled open the car door and approached the house; the sun was dipping below the horizon and he could feel the thump of loud music. Louise and Dan had a system with parties. They never showed up on time and, oh God, they absolutely never showed up early. Parties during the daytime were downright shameful. Everyone was too sober, too awkward. Dan physically shivered at the thought. He could work with drunk bodies swaying in the dark. Not, like, actual conscious humans.

The door opened before Dan could even put his hand on the knob. Someone he didn’t know pushed his way past Dan and vomited violently into the bushes surrounding the walk way. Dan felt briefly sorry for Felix’s parents and made wide-eye contact with Louise. She stifled a giggle and grabbed Dan’s hand, pulling him through the door.

The house was dark and thrumming with energy and movement. Felix was throwing a party because it was the beginning of their Year Thirteen. Dan couldn’t believe it– the end of his A-levels. He didn’t dwell on it, though, knowing that thoughts of university and careers would only fill him with existential dread. Right now, he just wanted to drink and dance and maybe be a little bit slutty. Big, new school year resolutions.

Louise continued to pull Dan and they found themselves in the kitchen, where there was an array of alcoholic beverages, including: bad beer, a questionable bucket of jungle juice, and cheap vodka shots. Dan hated vodka but poured a couple just to lubricate himself… socially. Louise cheered as he tossed the vile liquid back, holding back a grimace as the end of the shot hit his tongue. He held back the urge to cough. Louise did a shot as well, slamming the empty cup on the table. She made eye-contact with someone behind Dan.

“Hey, Peej! Come do a shot!” Dan turned around and grinned at PJ, who raced to do what Louise told him to do. His messy hair was falling into his eyes, as always, and his green eyes blazed. He poured a shot that was way too full, hollered ‘fuck Year Thirteen!’ and pounded the vodka. Dan laughed, Louise whooped, and everyone around them joined in a disjointed response cry of ‘fuck Year Thirteen!’ Although, Dan recognized some younger students too.

“So’d you guys just get here?” PJ was buzzed, smiling dopily at his friends.

“Yeah, mate.” Dan responded, peeking into the bucket of jungle juice with a wary expression.

“Oh, don’t worry it’s good. Just gotta ignore the chunks.” PJ’s nose wrinkled and Louise laughed again. Dan just shrugged and dunked a red cup into the bucket of wonder. He marveled at the purple color and took a long pull of it. He coughed. It had to be about 99% alcohol, 1% juice. Despite PJ’s comment, there were no chunks.

“It tastes like ass.”

“Not my fault you know what that tastes like, mate.” PJ grinned and Dan rolled his eyes. “So Louise, what’s the scoop? What’s the end goal? Mama cat on the prowl tonight?” PJ was just drunk enough to add a sassy meow to the end of his sentence and Louise slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.

“Oh God, PJ. Go home, you’re drunk.”

“She’s had her eye on Liam this summer,” Dan’s eyebrows danced up and down. “Lou’s gotta crush!”

“Liam– the one who works at the movie theater? The one with the tousled blonde hair?”

Louise smiled dreamily and sighed. “The very one!”

“The one wearing a dark blue button-up.” Louise looked confused. “Right behind you, mate!” PJ ducked out of the room them, cackling and moving his shoulders to the curiously Latin American beat. Sure enough, Liam was leaning across the counter right behind Louise. She handled it well– shrieking and forcefully grabbing Dan’s elbow. She yanked him out of the kitchen right into the main dancefloor that was the living room.

“Ow, Lou, what the hell?” Dan rubbed his peach-clad elbow. “Just for that, I’m going to go tell Liam that you want his babies.” Louise answered by shrieking again. “Hey, but really, you should talk to him. You’ve been crushing on him and I want to go be slutty.”

Louise eyes shone with a please-don’t-leave-me-you-are-my-best-friend look, mixed with her notorious and-I-can-ruin-your-life-if-I-wanted-to glint. Dan rolled his eyes again. His eyeballs were getting a lot of exercise tonight. “Here. This is what we will do.” Dan spun Louise around, hands pushing against her shoulder blades. He steered her back toward the kitchen. She spluttered. “You’re gonna take another shot. Or two.” He grabbed a glass of the counter, tipped it at her mouth. Louise, always the champ, successfully got the vodka down her throat. Then, you’re gonna talk to HEY LIAM!”

Louise choked and the tall, blonde boy hanging on the countertop looked up from his beer. “Hey, what’s up, Dan?” Liam smiled and Dan could practically feel Louise melt.

“Well, you’ve met Louise. She’s thinking about getting a job to save up for university. Ever the pragmatic lady, Louise. She was curious about what it’s like to work at a movie theater. Well you’re like the bloody expert, aren’t ya?” If Dan was laying it on a little thick, Liam was none the wiser to Dan’s cheeky tactics.

“Hey! That’s cool! Louise, we could work at the same theater and complain about customers!” When Louise didn’t respond, Dan nudged her. She seemed to wake up.

‘Fuck customers!’ was what came out of her mouth and Dan wanted to facepalm. To Liam’s credit, he just laughed and went on the other side of the counter to engage Louise in some friendly conversation. Dan’s work here was done. ‘Now I’m on my own,’ he realized. His face flushed and his heartbeat quickened.

Dan had a relatively high tolerance for alcohol, he had discovered. He tipped vodka into the shot glass he still held in one hand and drank it. He finished off his cup of jungle ass-juice. That would do for now. He had enough in him to… mingle. To forget about what he was wearing and shake it. He snuck out of the kitchen, grinning briefly at Louise who was deep in conversation with Liam.

Usually Dan took on the role of people-watcher at these parties. Sometimes, even out loud, he would pretend to be a nature documentary narrator. ‘Oh, wow. Here we find a rare species known as the “fuckus boyus.” Here we can see him preying on a young year ten.’

Although it was fun to hide in the shadows and be cynical about his peers, Dan decided this year that it was time for him to get some dick. Eighteen years old and still a virgin. It wasn’t bad or wrong– virginity was a social construct established by a misogynistic society, for that matter. Despite that, Dan wanted to know what it was like to be held, kissed, fucked. Before university. The only problem was… he had no idea how people did this.

So he mingled. He danced. He found some cute boys to grind on and only some of them told him to fuck off, fairy boy. Dan wasn’t even bothered. His hands kept finding drinks, his body (badly) gyrated badly to the (still vaguely Latin American) music. He witnessed some embarrassing white kid dancing, a very physical game of beer pong, and a couple humping right out in the open on Felix’s mother’s couch. No one person really caught his eye. He had known most of them since primary school and they were, quite frankly, old news.

Then, a dark figure caught his eye. He was unfamiliar and beautiful and– ‘so tall, wow, I could climb him like a tree.’

He was leaned against the doorframe of Felix’s living room, looking like a whole meal, as the kids say. He was tall– at least six feet. His legs went for miles and were clad in sinfully tight skinny jeans. Dan’s eyes traveled up the stranger’s body and he suddenly felt very sweaty and lightheaded. The mystery boy had on a black band T-shirt and a leather jacket. His long, pale neck sported– Dan squinted– a tattoo. He could already feel his knees going weak. Dan couldn’t make out much of the stranger’s face from across the room; his black fringe cast a deep shadow across it.

Dan was drunk, tingly, and very interested in Mr. tall, dark, and mysterious. He extracted himself from the girl he was dancing with, kissing her on the cheek. She quickly found another dancing partner. The room spun only a little as he made his way across the dancefloor. Up close, Dan could now make out several piercings standing out against porcelain skin. The tattoo was of a dragon. The stranger was staring at Dan, not unkindly. He had a few inches on Dan, which was… distracting. A crooked smile played on his lips and Dan had a hard time prying his eyes away from the black snakebites piercing them.

“Hey, you’re hot.” Dan wanted to facepalm. He was drunk, yes, but not so far gone that he didn’t know that such a statement wasn’t socially acceptable– ‘you idiot.’ The stranger seemed amused, thankfully, a deep chuckle escaping the mouth that Dan definitely wasn’t still staring at.

The stranger stuck out his hand and Dan grabbed it, ignoring how warm and soft it was. “Phil Lester. You’re pretty hot yourself, princess.” Dan frowned slightly, wondering if Phil was making fun of him. His smile looked so genuine and non-threatening, though. He decided that Phil was only being flirty.

“Daniel Howell. Dan. Though, I could get used to princess if you’d prefer that.” Dan was surprised by his smoothness, but chose not to jinx it by dwelling on the moment too much. Phil laughed then, a proper laugh, his tongue poking out of his teeth. And that was way too adorable for his tough, punk exterior. However, Dan didn’t miss the glint of a tongue piercing and he briefly wondered what it would feel like on his cock. Dan blinked hard to rid himself of such thoughts. “So, why haven’t I seen you around before? Are you a figment of my imagination?”

Phil shook his head, “No, I’m pretty real. Feel me.” He flexed an arm and leaned it toward Dan. Dan’s head swum, but he felt the muscle by fondling it with too-sweaty hands. He simply wanted to run with the joke, of course.

“Yep. You’re real. Can confirm.”

“But seriously, I go to uni in Manchester,” Phil’s fingers raked through his hair nervously, “I know it sounds creepy… an old guy like me hanging out at a party with a bunch of sixth formers,” Phil suddenly looked panicked, “Oh gosh, no offense! I don’t have anything against you guys.” Dan wanted to butt in and assure the uni student, but he was barreling on.

“Felix is my parent’s next door neighbor! He invited me because I’ve been pretty bored over the summer.” There was a beat, “Although he immediately left me, so now I wonder if I’m just the token uni kid to make his party seem cooler,” Phil grumbled almost under his breath and Dan smiled. Yeah, Felix was a prick like that. “Honestly, I’ve just been hovering by this doorway, not talking to anyone. So I’m just losing cool points, really.”

Dan crossed his arms, grinning. “Well, you’re in luck. I’m just about the most popular guy at this school. Stick with me and you’ll immediately be the coolest kid here!” Phil actually looked confused for a second and Dan took pity on him. “Phil, I’m kidding. Look at me. I have a bloody romper and lip gloss on, for godsakes. Most kids are embarrassed to know me. Talking to me is practically social suicide.” Dan giggled and Phil followed suit.

“You’re funny, Howell.” A beat passed and Phil’s face softened, “And, for whatever it’s worth, I like the romper… and the lip gloss.” And then Dan must have been dreaming, because Phil’s thumb came up to brush against his bottom lip.

Dan squeaked, “Hey, I’m gonna have to reapply that, you know.” He regretted the words instantly when they caused Phil to remove his thumb. However, it just came to rest on Dan’s soft jaw. His skin burned where Phil was touching him.

“We could do something that would really make you need to reapply your lip gloss,” Phil practically purred. The sudden shift from rambling, socially awkward uni kid to sexy punk was leaving Dan breathless. He felt like he might pass out. Or maybe he already had and this was just a dream. Maybe Phil was just a figment of his horny, hormonal imagination. It would make sense, since right now, he seemed like something straight out of a bodice-ripper.

“Am I dreaming?” Dan gazed up at Phil, who cracked a smile.

“No, we’ve been over this. I’m real, remember?” Almost to prove his point, Phil’s thumb slowly stroked along Dan’s jaw, toward his chin. The world went into slow motion and the pounding music went muffled. Gently, Phil tilted Dan’s chin up and his pierced lips inched toward Dan’s glossed ones.

[fmajorzine-blog]

Introducing: HEY CHARLIE

Grungy riffs? We’re listening. Pop hooks? Into it. ALL FEMALE BAND? STOKED!

HEY CHARLIE have got us at F Major crushing. Hard. The all girl feminist trio from London use their voices to speak out against bullying, standing together against the haters and defy the stereotype that you can’t be both feminine and play heavy music. We already wanna be their best mates.

HEY CHARLIE is Lizz (guitarist & vocalist), Sophie (bassist & vocalist) and Lauren (drummer). They all met while studying at uni where their friendship spawned from a mutual love of music, spurring their decision to form a band. In an interview with Born Music, the girls said “We knew from the very beginning that it should be an all-girl band, it wasn’t until we found Lauren though, that it really felt like the real Hey Charlie. We asked her to come down for a jam and it just suddenly felt as if something clicked into place.”

They describe their sound as a “combination of grungey guitar riffs, poppy melodies, and harmonies and driving rock drum grooves”, which definitely rings true in their first single HEY. Stomping and anthemic, HEY was co-directed by the band themselves and the video produced by Spring King’s Tarek Musa at Grand Cru Studios. The track captures their love of 90s grunge and punk, whilst wholeheartedly embracing their girl gang mentality and is a statement of things to come from HEY CHARLIE​ later this year. It’s already working, as the song was featured in Spotify’s New Music Friday and the UK Viral 50 charts!

As seen in HEY​, the band’s visual identity represents their strong union. They wear the same outfits and rock the same long blonde hair, and it’s a bangin’ aesthetic tbh. The band act as a wrecking ball towards the mentality that women can’t absolutely shred. Cos they can. Insert said shredding here:

The girls recently played Green Day’s British Summer Time in July (no biggie) and supported Yonaka at a sold out show in London. Fast gaining a reputation as an unpredictable, cyclonic live force, HEY CHARLIE perked up the ears of Kerrang! who have asked the band to perform at their Fresh Blood night in October featuring some of the most anticipated names in British rock including WSTR and Grumble Bee. Not too shabby for an up and coming band with only one track out so far!

If this is just the start for HEY CHARLIE then we can’t wait for what’s to come.

Be sure to check them out at the Fresh Blood show on October 19th, but in the meantime follow the girls on social media to keep up with everything HEY CHARLIE:

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