#keep fighting keep loving keep being kind and keep existing!! you're here!! and you're worth it!!!

[uzumaki-rebellion]

A.N.: Content Warning, Blood, Violence, Religious Imagery.

"By the Christians, it is written

That in the black Myrthian age

There existed an addiction to blood, blood, blood, blood

Drink it up, fifty years 'bout enough, time to come back

They want to call the bluff

Ok then, time to come back (what up)"

Sam Waymon & Clipping – "Blood of the Fang"

Celeste stood in the doorway of her bathroom, stupefied.

Terry's red-rimmed eyes held her planted there until her brain-fog lifted by digesting the words he spoke.

He wanted to keep their baby.

She groaned internally as her acceptance of the lexicon shift—fetus to baby—snagged a hold in her heart and mind. Had he been a human and said those words, she would've shouted with joy and hugged him. Instead, she glimpsed the fangs in his parted lips, noticed how the lateral incisors of his bottom teeth were sharp, too.

Beastly.

That's how he appeared standing there, blocking her path out of the bathroom. Is that what their child would look like? A ferocious creature preying on people?

Terry's eyes darted from her face, and he took a deep breath. When he spoke to her again, his fangs retracted. The illusion had forever been broken. She could never see him as a human again.

"Please…keep my child. I'm sorry for putting hands on you…that wasn't right. It was uncalled for…I reacted blindly to Abai being here."

"They said they'd be waiting for you if you showed up again. They had a message for you, too. You can't hide from them forever."

"Pack some things. You're coming with me," he said.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

Terry gripped her arms tight.

"Do you want to be here at nightfall when a deadly vampire clan shows up looking for me? Huh? They probably have one of their human familiars watching this house right now, ready to contact them because they've seen my face."

"They said they would protect me and the baby—"

"They don't give a damn about you!"

His voice reverberated in a tone not human. Celeste's eyes watered with fear. Terry stroked her arms gently and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You are carrying something they have been dreaming about for centuries. Our baby is their bargaining chip for something your human mind can't even conceive. If this child can go full term and be born…they will have no further use for you."

"If this child goes full term? You don't think she can?"

"No human woman has ever carried a damphir. There's no telling if your body will reject the foreign vampire genes along the way. I am a Daywalker, a vampire of the rarest kind. That means our child will be one, too. They will use her and kill you."

His eyes told no lies.

"Why do you want me to keep her? You make it sound like her life is beyond danger. Why would you want to bring a child into the world to face harm? Hmm? Why risk my life?"

Terry's eyes watered.

"She's my only chance to have a family that I can keep with me if she makes it through. She'll live a long, long time Celeste…and I won't be alone anymore. I love you, and if I can keep a part of you around to cherish like the other family members I've lost…then she's worth fighting for."

"What about me, Terry? Will you throw me away once you have what you want?"

"I want you both," he pleaded.

Celeste's eyes welled up. The pain and yearning in his voice weakened her. He cradled her face.

"I have to hide you in a safe place."

"Where will we go?"

"I need to get you to Mémé's place."

"We should take all of her things with us then."

"Go pack a few days' worth of clothes. I'll put her stuff in my truck bed. It has a retractable cover over it. Hurry!"

"Her boxes are in my sewing room, and some of her papers are on my desk in there."

Terry went to retrieve his great-great-granddaughter's belongings, and she ran into her bedroom and threw clothes and underwear into a small travel suitcase. She dumped toiletries from the bathroom into a plastic baggie and froze when the doorbell rang. It was only five thirty in the evening. The sun didn't set completely until seven thirty.

"Answer it," Terry said.

He stayed near her bookshelf.

Celeste held her breath. She made out the figure behind the colored glass and sighed.

"Micah," she said.

She opened the door, and her relief poured out in a nervous laugh. Micah stared at her with concern.

"I came to check on you. Took the night off instead of wondering if you were okay."

Terry came from behind her and Micah's face grew tense.

"The clouds…" Terry said.

He opened the security door and stepped past Micah. Celeste looked up at the sky the way Terry did.

Dark, steel blue rain clouds blotted out the sunlight, turning the sky a menacing shade of impending doom.

"Ohmigod," Celeste said.

Micah tilted his head to look at them.

Streaks of lightning appeared like white spider veins flashing across the sky. A flock of unknown black birds flew in the sky within a giant circle.

"It's too late. The sun is hidden. I can't get you far enough away without them tracking us," Terry said.

He ran back into the house and grabbed Miss Irma's boxes. Celeste grabbed her suitcase.

"What's going on? Where are you going?" Micah asked, grabbing her hand.

"I can't explain. I'll call you if I can," she said.

Micah squeezed her hand.

"Duchess…tell me. The truth."

Terry carried two boxes at a time and collected Miss Irma's life on two trips.

"Celeste, we have to leave…now!" Terry said.

Rain threatened to fall. From the corner of her eye, she noticed a slow moving low fog filling up the street. Celeste shook uncontrollably, remembering what happened the last time she got caught in a fast-moving fog. She locked her front door. Micah stayed on her.

"Duchess!" Micah said, his eyes full of fear.

"I have to hide from some people. We thought we had time, but the sun is gone," she said.

She jumped into Terry's truck. Micah tried to open the passenger door and drag her out. Terry rushed forward and shoved him against the truck bed, his fangs bared and ready to tear the life out of her cousin.

"Terry, don't! He's our baby's family," she shouted.

Micah held his hands up to protect his face.

"I knew you weren't shit!" Micah spat out.

He wrenched his eyes away from Terry and looked at her.

"Go to St. Augustine's. Father Mbenga can hide you," Micah said. "It's church, though. I don't know if he can go in."

Terry released Micah's shirt and looked at her.

"I can ask him to invite you in again. Will that work?" Celeste asked.

"He invited me in before. It should still be safe for me to enter," Terry said.

"I'll follow you guys over there," Micah said.

He carefully backed away from Terry and fumbled with his keys to press his key fob. Terry climbed into his truck quickly and took them several blocks through the Quarter to hide in the fog. He drove with one eye on the road, and the other watching the surroundings. Celeste kept expecting the white van with ghouls to sideswipe them, preventing their escape.

"Where are the people?" Celeste asked.

The empty streets blanketed with fog were an anomaly. There should've been plenty of people still walking around and filling the Quarter with life. They headed north and parked in front of St. Augustine's. The church stood like a gothic rendering of salvation.

Terry jumped out of the truck first and ran to Celeste's passenger side, helping her get out. He held her hand tight and kept her near his side. Micah pulled up behind them and ran to the locked church doors. He banged on them and pulled out his smartphone.

"I'm calling the church office number," Micah said.

"Can we break in?" Celeste asked.

The fog swirled higher, covering them in a thick layer. Visibility diminished and with it, the dampening of sound all around them. Their voices sounded like they were in a closed vacuum. The acute silence and shroud of whiteness around them gave Celeste the sense that they had entered another dimension where only the three of them existed. Micah's voice became loud on his phone.

"Father Mbenga? It's Micah Profitt…I'm outside the church with my cousin Celeste and her…boyfriend. We need your help right now! Please let us into the sanctuary!"

The longest seven minutes held Celeste in a vise grip as they waited for the priest to open the church doors.

"What is happening?" Father Mbenga said, swinging one of the double doors open.

Micah grabbed Celeste's hand and pulled her inside first. They turned to look at Terry.

The father of her child looked so helpless standing there with uncertainty in his eyes. Celeste wanted him with her.

"Invite him in, Father Mbenga," Celeste said with a calm and firm tone.

She didn't want to take any chances.

"Come inside, son," Father Mbenga said.

Terry took a step forward.

Celeste locked eyes with him. She clutched the priest's arm.

"I need you to say 'I invite you inside'," Celeste insisted.

Father Mbenga looked confused, but he glanced at Terry and spoke the words.

"I invite you inside the house of the Lord. Will that do?"

Terry walked across the threshold.

Nothing happened. Celeste hugged him.

"What's going on here?" Father Mbenga asked.

Micah ushered the priest past the vestibule and into the main sanctuary. Father Mbenga flicked on more lights and they moved to the front pews. Celeste sat next to Terry and Micah perched across from them in another pew. The priest stood in front of the tabernacle.

"What do you need help with?" Father Mbenga asked.

"Duchess got herself mixed up with a vampire. She's pregnant by him," Micah said matter-of-factly.

Celeste put a hand over her face.

Father Mbenga, thankfully, didn't laugh them out of the church. He stared at Terry thoughtfully and took off his glasses. Pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of his slacks, the priest wiped the lenses carefully and then placed the round glasses back on his kind face.

"Show me," Father Mbenga said.

Terry stared at the priest, doubt clouding his expression.

"Show you?" Terry said.

"Yes."

Terry glanced at Celeste, unsure. Micah jumped up and slammed his right hand into his left.

"Will you show Father Mbenga what you are?!" Micah shouted.

Celeste gripped the edge of her seat, feeling uneasy. Terry stood and faced the priest. His body blocked her view of the shorter man.

"Mother Mary…Father of God!" the priest shrieked.

Celeste lowered her head. She knew exactly what Father Mbenga experienced. The confirmation of something otherworldly brought on feelings of terror. It knocked all previously held beliefs out of whack. Father Mbenga backed away from Terry and ran to the tabernacle. He gathered himself together and slowly turned to face Terry again. He held out a six-inch gold cross.

"You are an abomination…a scourge upon the earth…." Father Mbenga said.

Terry confronted the frightened priest and took the cross from his hand, placing it back on the tabernacle.

"That doesn't do what you think," Terry said.

"But this does!" Micah shouted.

Micah rushed behind Terry and choked him with a long, silver-linked chain. The skin on Terry's neck sizzled and blistered. Celeste screamed. The odor of burning vampire flesh sickened her.

Terry fell to his knees. He grabbed the chain, but it burned his fingers and he cried out in horrible pain.

"Micah! Stop it!" she screamed.

She ran to her cousin to pull the thick, five-foot long chain off of Terry, but Father Mbenga grabbed her arms and yanked her away.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Father Mbenga shouted at Terry.

"In the Holy Name of Jesus, I invoke the keys of St. Peter and the Church's authority…I bind each and every demon in and around Celeste Profitt and around us…in Jesus' name I bind them all, and I bind any demons supporting them, their evil leaders, and any minions of Satan…"

Father Mbenga's voice rose to a crescendo and blood drenched the silver chain slicing Terry's throat. Micah gained the upper hand and looked victorious wearing Terry down.

"Please…stop this…we came here for help to save me and my baby!"

"You won't have that vampire's baby, Duchess! It will destroy you and give these demons more evil to use!" Micah yelled.

Celeste stared at her cousin as if she'd never seen him before.

She truly hadn't.

Paralyzed with shock, Celeste could only watch helplessly as her beloved cousin tried to murder her lover.

"Micah…please…he's not what you think—"

"I tried to warn you, Duchess. Back in the Quarter, I told you to leave him alone."

Her eyes watered, and Micah's face blurred.

"My job is to spot these bloodsuckers…but you ran into his arms like a fool. Now look at 'cha," Micah panted, "Pregnant with a demon's seed."

"She's innocent," Celeste pleaded.

"She?" Micah said.

Terry slumped forward onto his stomach, weakened and damaged by the silver chain. He still breathed, but Celeste heard the gurgling of blood in his throat. Micah draped the chains around Terry's arms, binding them together behind his back.

"It's a girl," she said.

"Blasphemous," Father Mbenga spat at her.

He released her once Terry was no longer a threat. The priest had a wild look behind his glasses. Celeste knelt down near Terry.

"Get away from that unclean thing!" Father Mbenga barked.

Micah pulled her from Terry and glared at her.

"Trust me, Duchess, we know what we're doing," Micah urged.

The double doors of the church blasted open. Celeste and Micah whipped their heads toward the entrance.

The Deacon, Abai, stood at the entrance with his long black coat flared out behind him. His clan flanked him, gnashing their teeth and frustrated by the barrier. Abai's gaze stayed on Father Mbenga.

"Stupid little priest," Abai barked out. "Nothing you do will stop us from taking what we want."

Father Mbenga pointed at Abai.

"You are not welcome here! Evil cannot enter God's house without my permission."

"Celeste…dear sweet, Celeste. Invite us in and we will save our brother."

"I alone have the power to invite others into the House of God," Father Mbenga yelled with conviction.

"She is a member of this church, therefore, she too can invite us in, Father," Abai said.

Father Mbenga and Micah stared at Celeste. She could nearly smell the fear on them. Jerking away from Micah, she knelt down and tugged on the silver chain. Terry groaned. She lowered her face to his.

"Celeste, get away from here if you can…save yourself…save our baby…" he whispered in agony.

Two firm hands wrapped around Celeste's throat. Father Mbenga threw her against the tabernacle and she spun around to claw his face with her nails. He choked her again, squeezing the life from her and the baby.

"The fuck are you doing? Leave her alone!" Micah shouted.

Micah grabbed Father Mbenga's arm and yanked him away. The priest reached for his gold cross again and pulled it apart, revealing a sharp blade beneath. He stabbed Micah in the side.

"You lil bitch!" Micah said.

He staggered back and fell to his knees with blood gushing out of his abdomen. Slamming his hands over the wound, Micah glared at Father Mbenga.

"We're supposed to wait for the others to come and handle this…not attack my cousin. Are you fucking crazy?!" Micah shrieked in a weakened voice.

Celeste gasped for air and fought not to pass out. She crawled on her hands and knees toward the open entrance doors. If she couldn't trust humans not to kill her, she had to run from them it seemed.

Father Mbenga jumped on her back and circled his thick fingers around her neck once more.

"You're a filthy whore lying down with them!"

Father Mbenga banged her face against the floor as he strangled her. Celeste reached out her right hand. She could barely make out the shape of Abai standing at the entrance.

"Celeste! Say the words! Let us save you and the baby!" Abai shouted.

Abai's voice sounded stressed and, more importantly…afraid for her. Could Terry be wrong about him?

"I…I…I invite you all in…." Celeste gasped out.

The world spun into a graying darkness as she watched swift obsidian shadows whip past her. A blood-curdling scream rang out and broke off abruptly. She could breathe freely again. The soreness in her throat pounded with the rush of blood in her veins.

Micah whimpered and wept quietly behind her. She rolled over and sat up. Rubbing her neck, she waited for her eyesight to clear.

"Don't kill my cousin," she said.

Her voice came out low and almost unintelligible.

Twelve strikingly beautiful Black vampires stood around Micah and Terry. Evenly six males to six females, they all stared at the floor. Father Mbenga's lifeless body was a crumpled heap in the center of them. She knew it was lifeless because the priest's head sat ten-feet away upon the tabernacle with a look of shock on its bespeckled face, the dead mouth wide open and frozen with the final breath of life that came out a scream. Blood dripped down the side of the tabernacle in long vermillion streaks, with the bladed gold cross impaled down the center of his forehead.

Micah kept his hand jammed against his stab wound, his expression woozy from the blood loss.

Abai glanced over at her.

"Come here Celeste…free our brother from his chains," Abai demanded.

Micah shook his head at her.

"Duchess…don't help them. They want us dead! We're food to them…stay back!" Micah begged.

The vampire named Mia crouched down and dug her claws into his side, ripping Micah's wound further. His cries of pain echoed throughout the church. Mia licked his blood from her claws and stomped over to Celeste.

"The Deacon gave you a command…do it!" Mia said.

She slapped Celeste across the face, leaving another scar that would need time to heal like the last time they met. Celeste lashed out and punched Mia in her legs. Mia lifted her by the throat and held her high.

"Mia…put…her…down," Abai said.

Mia dropped Celeste to her wobbly feet and punched her in the gut, knocking a loud breath out of her. Dominique flew at Mia and shoved her face back.

"Don't you harm it. Keep your jealousy in check," Dominique hissed.

Abai reached out toward Celeste.

"Free him for us," Abai said, his tone stern.

"Promise not to hurt my cousin," Celeste said.

She rubbed her belly and the pain there almost caused her to pass out. All the other vampires except for Abai and Dominique snarled at her, their monstrous fangs gleaming from the lights inside the church.

"No harm will come to him," Abai said.

"Don't believe them, Duchess. Don't worry about me. I'm good with God…I can die in peace and receive my salvation. You won't if you listen to them," Micah said.

The unexpected loud thud on the roof forced their eyes toward the ceiling. Other loud poundings struck the roof in different places.

A large winged creature crashed through the roof and landed on top of the tabernacle. Celeste's blood ran cold and fear gripped her even more than being surrounded by a vampire clan. At least they looked somewhat human.

The thing on the tabernacle was the stuff of childhood nightmares.

A gargoyle.

Skin the color of mottled stone with horns protruding from its forehead, the monstrosity had sharp fangs just as deadly looking as the vampires. To Celeste's catholic eyes, it looked like a grotesque mockery of an angel turned inside out. No genitalia was present.

"Gadreel," Abai said, with a touch of disdain. "Still simping for God, I see. Tell me forgotten brother…do you really think the most high…the most hypocritical Lord… will let you Old Ones return to heaven once you've done your penance for ten thousand years more?"

Abai glanced at the ceiling, listening to the movement above them. He talked tough, but Celeste sensed apprehension.

"You, Arakiel, Baraqiel, Kokabeel, Danuiel, and the others…don't you get weary of being used to go against us, your equally fallen siblings?" Abai sneered.

"WISHETACHIHU ĀYITAGEŠIMI!" Gadreel shouted.

Celeste and Micah both screamed and slammed their hands over their ears, the pain from the sound of the gargoyle speaking making their eardrums bleed.

"Gadreel, there are humans here. You can't speak the language of heaven without harming their weak ears. Aren't you breaking the rules of your penance? You vowed to protect them, remember?"

Gadreel focused his attention on Celeste. His deep-set eyes looked like pewter stones.

"Leave us, human woman. There is no need for us to deal with you until that sin in your womb has been born," Gadreel said.

He spoke to her in English, his voice sounding like the creaking of giant ancient doors that should remain closed. Celeste rose to her feet and used the pews to help keep her balance with all the anxious trembling she experienced in her limbs. Her stomach churned with so much fear she thought she might puke, but she had to be strong for her baby.

She started weeping.

Keeping the baby became a top priority. Father Mbenga turning on her, calling her a whore and even her own cousin calling the little one inside her a demon seed, shored up her resolve to keep it. Her upbringing in the church taught her that God had a purpose for everything in her life. Celeste chose to have faith of a mustard seed at that moment.

Stumbling over to Terry, she dropped weakly on her knees and pulled apart the knot in the chains, freeing him from bondage. She tossed the chain on the pew and tried to lift him up. Mia pushed her away and turned Terry over.

"Terry…Terry…" Mia murmured with soothing affection.

His eyelids fluttered and opened slowly. He looked up at Mia, who stroked his hair and touched his throat that clotted with blood. The woman had love in her eyes. She kissed him on the lips. Celeste's stomach tightened.

"Duchess?" Terry said.

He pushed Mia back, his eyes darting around, looking for her. Mia snarled, her fangs wet with saliva.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Mia shrieked.

The vampire lunged at Celeste, and all hell broke loose in the sanctuary.

Faster than the human eye could follow, more gargoyles crashed through the roof all over the church. Abai and the other vampires battled the gargoyles, but Celeste could not follow their unnatural speed fully. She caught glimpses of shadows or felt dark streaks moving, like the buzzing of mosquitoes flapping past her ears when she couldn't swat them fast enough. She sensed the whooshing of air above her and witnessed pews and the tabernacle crashing to pieces, destroyed with all the tussling and tearing of flesh. Blood rained around her from the vampires and gargoyles that were injured. Crimson blood dripped everywhere along with a dark orange fluid that had to be from the gargoyle's wounds.

Under great duress, Micah crawled to her, and she helped him get on his feet. They limped together toward the double doors. She paused in her steps to rest because Micah was so heavy. Glancing back, she caught a flash sighting of Terry sprinting toward her. Gadreel flew at him with an outstretched wingspan ten-feet across and lifted Terry off the ground. Terry used his claws and razor-sharp teeth to rip chunks out of the gargoyle's shoulder. Other gargoyles flew above them, fighting vampires who kept attacking even while they were being shaken like rags back and forth high above her. The horror flying about the church looked like a hideous medieval painting of Dante's inferno come to life.

Mia leaped high into the air and landed on Gadreel's back to help Terry knock him into a wall.

"Get out of here, Celeste!" Terry screamed.

Another gargoyle grabbed Mia mid-air, ripping her face to shreds. Gadreel burst through the rafters carrying Terry, making another gaping hole in the roof.

Celeste couldn't help him.

She could only help herself and her cousin.

Turning back to the entrance doors, Celeste's blood pressure dropped, and she passed out on the floor.

Micah toppled right over her.

Chapter 14 HERE.

Masterlist.

Taglist:

@nahimjustfeeling-writes

@planetblaque

@kindofaintrovert

@thedondada05

@blackburnbook

@avoidthings

@slutsareteacherstoo

@nayaesworld

@notapradagurl17

@4pfsukuna

@yamst3rdamctrl

@sweettea-and-honeybutter

@comfortzonequeen

@theereina

@brattyfics

@prettyisasprettydoes1306

@megane96

@honeytoffee

@taurusqueen83

@mightbeher

@melaninpov

@carlakeks

@woahthatshitfat

@hrlzy

@theglamclosetsl

@liquorlaughslove

@teeresaresa

@cocoagadgetsworld

@mogul93

@helloncrocs

@dremmmm

@simplyzeeka

@pearlkitten33

@jas241

@leahnicole1219

[notmorbid]

still born.

dialogue prompts from still born by guadalupe nettel. this book deals directly with infant loss / illness.

nothing will happen to you while i'm here.

in friendships like ours, there's no room for hypocrisy.

they say that violence begets violence.

the more we love a person, the more fragile and insecure we feel because of them.

if you disappeared, a part of me would go with you.

i can't take any more of you.

can i bum one off you?

what was it like to live with ____?

i didn't come here to argue with you.

i've got you to love. i don't need anyone else.

can you talk? i need to tell you something.

it's a long story. you'll need to pay attention. do you have time now?

did you just get back from school?

i just went for a walk around the block.

why don't we go to the park this afternoon?

i talk to myself, too.

did anyone tell you what happened?

what did i do wrong?

there's nothing like looking at a lake to calm one's thoughts.

do you mind if i smoke?

i promise you i won't leave until it's better.

the city is full of dangerous people.

i can't imagine what it would feel like to be in your place.

there's no word for a parent who loses a child.

did you used to play in the street when you were little?

it's not healthy to wallow in pain.

what should i have done differently?

i can't keep explaining it over and over again.

talking about it made me feel better.

anger is nothing but a screen for avoiding pain.

you're totally unreadable.

you're smoking again?

being a mother means being worried about someone else all the time.

love and common sense are not always compatible.

some music fuses with our selves, we've listened to it so much.

cohabitation is one of the hardest experiences to survive.

i wouldn't mind a vodka tonic.

some people are more awake at night.

what did you used to like doing before you shut yourself in?

i don't want kids, even adopted ones.

you forgot how to be happy.

there's nothing for you here. go away.

it's easier to blame others for what we can't tolerate in ourselves.

you look like you've gone back in time.

you can spend the day with me.

it's not right, but sometimes it's worth doing.

what i want is for you to stop meddling in my life.

i need to know so i can help you.

it's as if ____ needs to suck my life force to grow.

all i feel is worn out.

normal mothers don't think those kinds of things, do they?

i'm not sure 'normal mothers' exist.

you'll judge me. you always do.

there are people who consider misfortune an infectious disease.

we tend to see our mother's mistakes as the source of all our problems.

you're always questioning the past.

if you don't leave home, you suffocate. if you go too far, you lose oxygen.

from hereon in, anything that happens is a bonus.

i'm here to help you, not to fight you.

i like to say things straight.

there's always a way to renegotiate debt.

i can't believe you hid this from me. it's like staying quiet when there's a fire in the house.

you're not on your own. we're a family now.

i ask myself why you stay sometimes, too.

are we going to stay like this for the rest of our lives?

blood ties don't guarantee anything.

the biological family is something that's been imposed on us. there's no reason we should settle for that if it doesn't work for us.

i can't stand being in my head.

is it your voice in your head, or someone else's?

what do you do when your thoughts bother you?

you've got space inside you where you can go and hide.

we have the children that we have, not the ones we imagined we'd have.

what could someone so young know about despair?

don't leave my side for a minute.

i feel like an absolute worm.

do you think you'll be able to fall in love again?

don't be nervous. whatever has to happen will happen. no one gets out of that.

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (fem) reader ⛏️

(DC Raven Reader Edition!)

(Request here! @thequeenofcupps I LOVE Raven sm, I’m so happy to do a reader based off of this character you have NO IDEA.)

- So… You're the hybrid child of a cosmic demon and a human woman, constantly fighting for control and balance against your demonic origins as you learn to harness your powers, attuning to the mystical forces to protect you and the people you love? Rad.

- Now you have a little rock-collecting raven-brained archeologist to back you up <3.

- The usual sarcastic, brooding, and standoffish personality is only natural considering everything you’ve gone and are still going through as a powerful empath of the magical arts—

- But unlike anyone else in Overwatch, Talon, and beyond can click with you like Venture does.

- Leaving many scratching their heads as they see Venture run up to you and you happily wrapping your arms around them, encasing them in that long cloak of yours as you kiss them over and over again on their face.

- As we all know, Venture is all for it, happy as a clam as they get treated with affection by their sweet and grumpy girlfriend :)

- Thinks your glorious and damn near invincible (you damn well can be considered as such) like a Valkyrie, and loves to see you train and fight …. Power is sexy ok?

- And they’re always eager to learn everything about those powers of yours, cause they know well that your magic is a big part of you and love learning about you.

- Which in turn helps them better understand when your emotions and powers are fluctuating negatively.

- This dynamic in general has so much potential, Venture has always had a rather hungry and morbid curiosity. The weirdness and strangeness aren’t much to deter them, rather only encouraging them to learn more.

- They’re the kind of person who can and will take the time to establish trust together to get you where you guys are now, and that kind of bond is something that can withstand a whole lot because of how well you both are attuned to each other.

- If something is bothering you they immediately catch on and get you away from it, and when you’re trying to practice your magic or meditate they know to make sure people aren’t going to disturb you.

- Asks permission before reading/examining your ancient tomes and manuscripts, and considering their career path if you were going to trust anyone with things like this, Sloane is the one to trust.

- In general, the romantic relationship is the best-case scenario for how your dynamic ends up because of how well your personality meshes up.

- For example, you keep Venture from being too impulsive and running into the fray without a proper plan, and Venture provides you a way to be normal— To have a more positive outlook on the life that’s been constantly being threatened with peril, loss of self, and a destiny that other people try to control.

- If you both had a choice, you guys would be forever together, limbs entangled with one another like the Lovers of Valdaro.

- Or move and exist in tandem with one another like Tui and La from Avatar: The Last Airbender in an eternal dance, push and pull.

- An easy and normal life is something you haven’t experienced in a long time, and even the life you had before realizing your paternal heritage was filled with oddities that eventually seeped into a life of learning discipline and self-restraint is something Sloane can’t possibly fathom— But, they knew then and they know now that you’re not an evil force or a ticking time bomb.

- The things you’ve gone through, the trial and strife something they can never relate to— But they have that emotional intelligence and understanding that was able to get through the rough exterior and reveal this extremely caring girl who they came to love.

- Cracking those walls you had open was a feat but it was worth it, you are as beautiful on the inside as a gorgeous geode. They can’t express that enough.

(Also, here’s a shoutout to one of my friends @goohts ! Happy birthday man, I’m so happy to have met you all those months ago, experience life with you has made life a bit easier then it used to be. Your support and help with so many things has given me the strength to be where I am now— I love you!! 💕 🎂🎉)

[msnihilist]

Seeing a BenRook pregnancy fic in the Outlining section was very funny to me for some reason. Did anything today make you think about that in particular, or was it just a spark?

Also, for Fear Factor: I know you've been wanting to rewrite that for a while. I know you're still outlining, but are there sections you really like from your original version? Or stuff you definitely want to change/remove?

Referencing my list of writing WIPs.

Honestly, I'm kind of always thinking about that pregnancy fic. Pregnancy fics are one of those tropes that can be really hit or miss for me? I don't usually enjoy next gen fics, so for me this is more about... The circumstances that might have brought this baby into existence, and what the characters are going to do about it.

I think it was sparked when I read a really good unplanned/teen pregnancy fic for another fandom, and the ending just... Got me thinking. That, and I love thinking about what kind of fucked up anatomy a Revonnahgander/human hybrid might end up with.

For one, I think that the child's legs would be fucked. Thanks to Revonnahganders having less dense/longer legs in general, the whole skeleton is kind of... Janky. The baby would not really be able to walk, probably ever. Not without intensive surgery and physical therapy, anyway.

The baby would probably have a more protruding jaw and sharper teeth. Flatter nose and more sunken in eyes. Thick hair growth on their body and a stubby growth from their tailbone.

It would look uncanny as fuck, is what I'm saying.

(And, obviously, Ben and Rook would love their baby just the same 💕)

That being said, I want to grapple with some of the tougher questions around a situation like this that Ben might have to make decisions on. Like, is it cruel to bring a deformed baby into existence? Is it more cruel to abort it, having never given it a chance to grow and decide for itself if life is worth living? Would it be selfish to keep his baby when the universe needs him to be its hero 24/7? Rook is so traditional, would Ben be trapping him in their relationship if he goes through with the birth?

And beyond that, how does Ben feel about himself? He's pretty sure that he doesn't want kids — not this young, anyway — and he feels incredibly dysphoric about the whole thing, which is only going to get worse. How can he be a man while pregnant? His sense of masculinity is tied to his physical state, so, without that...

Much to think about. This hypothetical pregnancy fic that I may or may not write is not going to be a happy, fluffy story.

As for Fear Factor, I want to rewrite chapter one (the only bit I've written anything for, anyway) because I don't think that the opening fight scene flows well at all.

But here's a snippet for you, Sammy, despite my eternal embarrassment at showing something less than perfect >_<

[springcatalyst]

5, 8, 16, 17 for that ask game :] i dont know a lot of your ocs yet so surprise me!

hell yesssss lets GO

5: Does your oc have a signature weapon and/or attack? How long did they have to train to master it?

I answered this one for Liliana already! SO I'll give you Brooke!

Brooke's weapon of choice is a hand-and-a-half sword she's had for years and years and years. It was granted to her when she reached the level of skill in her guild that allowed her to go on formal hunts. It being hand-and-a-half means its versatile: it can be used two-handed or one-handed. She values adaptability and flexibility in a fight, and is very bad at both of these things in everywhere else in her life. Being in a familial-based guild, she's honed her skills over, again, years and years and years and years, pretty much since she could physically perform the necessary motions. Even after dividing from it, she keeps the sword, as well as the pendant and armor, because to fully divest herself from the image of the guild feels like lying, like hiding some nasty truth, and she doesn't want to do that anymore. She keeps these things as symbols of what she was, but in doing so prevents herself from being able to be anything but that.

8: What was your ocs most embarrassing moment? Does it still bother them or are they able to shrug it off?

So I don't have a One Right Answer BUT I'll say that Diana is pretty intimately familiar with embarrassment and humiliation on a small scale? The thing about needing to do things Correctly and the emphasis placed on respectability and decency and being polite and doing what you're told and not making a fuss and Form and Function is that well. It gives you a lot of little ways in which you can fail and be punished for it. Typically the punishment is failing in of itself. Diana, by nature of the culture she lived in, was weighed down by reputation in a manner where her own leaks out to her family, meaning people other than her have a stake in it. It's kind of a self-assuring cycle even without that, but. It is also enforced. Did I even answer the question? Peace and love on planet earth.

16: How does your oc make money?

Julian is maybe the only bitch in here who had an actual normal source of income for a significant portion of the plot. Once he fucked off to the sea he hops around ships going wherever and is paid to work them- he gravitated more towards cargo ships because they sailed farther and longer than ferries or other passenger ships. Eventually he joins the Siren's Song- an interislandary that, because it's rougher work out far far longer and requires just a bit more experience and is less appealing to most, paid a bit more. He didn't really join it for the pay, though. It had a certain energy in the air that, at the time, he envied. This turns out to be a bad choice.

17: Does your oc have an enemy?

I also answered this one for Liliana teehee so. This other guy ->

Julian beefs with everybody all the time forever but there's this One Fucking Guy on the Siren's Song that he just. Hates for all he's worth. It IS two-way because Julian also gets on Warren's nerves All The Fucking Time. Sometimes it's on purpose, because seeing how far he can push him without real consequences is fun, but sometimes it's not, because they are two people with very different ideas of how they function in the world. To Julian, Warren is a sort of needless cruelty, nose where it doesn't belong, breaking unspoken rules that exist for a reason type of person. To Warren, Julian is a kind of high horse, careless for the other men in the crew, manipulating his favor with the people in power to get what he wants type of person. Honestly, they're both right. They don't get to just throw hands about it because they are crewmates- you can't fight amongst yourselves at sea, it hinders the function of the ship, the first mate stops anything from starting (the captain... he doesn't care as much. he'll let it happen if it's entertaining enough). So they just sit there boiling hatred at each other until eventually.,.. well the first mate can't always be around.

OC ASK GAME :]

[dedtoot]

watched the jsrf documentary recently and i am so unbelievably dissapointed

moved my rant from the tags to here. Spitted too much. Not like it matters to anyone except me cuz post is irrelevant now

Ok ik that i should not have expected something actually accurate from this video, considering how the fandom is and considering that from the very start i've seen the red flags so to say

One of these red flags is that jsrf is "literally LITERALLY just tony hawk games but roller skates". The first actually concerning thing i heard from others about it. It's my go-to way to determine that the person I'm listening to probably has no idea what they're talking about or a really missinformed. Never failed me so far

But oh man, even keeping that in mind, i did not expect whatever i got

Not only there were just no actual game analysis, which is wild, since you're like SAYING why this game is worth being played, but everything actually game related is a straight up lie

YEAH WE'RE GETTING TO LYING ABOUT GAME MECHANICS HERE

First, saying that grind combos areva rhythm game element. It could be just some weird wording, but it's just. Not true at all. Also calling this mechanic "silent". Whatever that supposed to mean. Not only it's not silent because Roboy tutorials exist and this mechanic is there, and nowhere us it said to be rhythm based, only timing based. And the tutorials ARE useful, since the controls were really expended here(using pretty much every button on the controller), but also that's not a silent mechanic purely for the fact that the character itself isn't silent during the entire thing.

Second. Saying that all characters got unique stats and that is showing off their personality. And uhh. What does that say about the love shockers and the immortals, with their stats. Or hell, clutch and jazz, who are literally right next to each other in the character select screen. It's dumb what I'm trying to say.

And not to mention the general overhyping of the game, by saying it's so so deep and thought-provoking oohhh(but then also never mention that one of jsr inspirations was movie fight club.why). And then just. Ignore that this is a game with not much dialogue. And then ignore every character aside dj k?????????

Like I'm not asking about talking about every single character, but at least like. Mention the plot relevant one's ??? Just the ones you can't possibly avoid. I know that dj k is the main man here but he alone does not move the story.

This kind of overhyping genuinely ruined my experience. Like i was under the impression that I'm gonna experience something out of this world and fun. But i came out of it disappointed. Mind you, i still have a lot to like about the game, but it's just. Not this. This is literally the the worst thing you can do when recommending the game. You will disappoint people. It's not this big grand thing because it wasn't allowed to become one. It's a sad but inspiring story about how even despite this, game is still liked. You don't need to pretty it up, lay out the truth.

Next thing about the video is that this is not a game documentary, but some random hot takes with some lies and long history lessons.

History lessons were a good part of it, but the fact that they put the us culture stuff before talking about the japanese culture is umm. This is a game made to portray a japanese culture from the time?? Like specifically. It's confirmed. To the point that one dev did not like the inclusion of grind city levels in jsr, because, in his mind, it was watering down its identity. Not to mention that this practice specifically existed just to make overseas audiences more comfortable, which is real fucking problematic if it's about something culture related imo. Anyway, he has a point.

Absolutely not denying the influences from other cultures here, because that's just stupid and wrong, but get a clue jeez.

And related to getting clues. This video used videos of actual protest while dj k's monologue was playing in the background. YOU JUST DON'T DO THIS. It's gross. It's weird to do even IF the game gets that real. And this game sure as hell doesn't.

Also do not understand who was this vid even made for, since fans will get nothing new out of it and newcomers wont understand what's the game is about and will be thrown into a sudden history lesson

So yeah highly don't reccomend watching

(update. i spitted out most of my problems with it and my comment was removed. so much for that free speech topic present and indorsed in the vid. also i made a vid that explains my points better)

[dizzified]

Python Dynastia, the worst man you'll ever meet, I hope he falls into a paper shredder and fucking dies. Worst brother of the century, get him far away from Amelia. Call him gay and he will cry like a little piss baby bitch.

Hot take: Being physically and emotionally abusive to and gaslighting your sister into believing she doesn't have autonomy and is devoted and in-debt to you is not silly.

"Don't do it."

"I-.. I- Wasn't-"

"I can see it in your eyes, you're being swayed, you're having doubts again, what did I tell you."

"Not to-.. AH!—"

"You listen here, you stupid fucking bitch, you listen to me. You don't listen to him, you don't listen them, you listen to the only one who actually gives a damn about you. I'm your brother, I'm all you need, I put so much time and energy into your worthless body, without me, you're fucking nothing. You're a pathetic wriggling maggot that can do nothing for itself, not without my word, because your body was never your own, it was always mine, devote yourself to the fucking god that grants you purpose."

"P- Python-.. Python-.. That hurts- Please- I'm sorry-"

"Amelia, I'm going to break your fucking neck right here and now if you don't wipe that stupid abused look off your face, I've done nothing to you, it's not my fault you're an over-emotional whore that's fucked up her life beyond belief. I bet you really believe he loves you, don't you? That he's not just clamoring desperate for the power you could give him, like every other of his kind. Waiting for the moment when you plead a longer lifespan for him, to make him a god such as yourself, that's all he wants. Mortals are greedy, they're cruel, they only think for themselves, all of them, you've seen it first-hand how horrible they can be, you've seen how horrible he can be."

"He's-.. Hh-.. He's not-"

"He's just like all the rest of them, Amelia. They all exist to leech off us for power, you've seen how they pray oh so desperately to whatever god they believe will give them a sliver of power, no matter how corrupt. You've seen the cults, how they've sacrificed, genocided, enslaved, innocent lives just for their own benefit. Are you forgetting, are you forgetting what he was, are you forgetting what he did, are you so blinded by false love that you cannot see the bigger picture here?"

"Please stop-.. Please-"

"Shut your fucking mouth, you lowly bitch, that's all you are, a stupid girl who always lets her naivety guide her, that's why you have me, that's why I'm the smart one, that's why I know everything, to stop my dumbfuck of a sister from falling into the jaws of a wolf who only wishes the worst for her. God, Amelia, you're so lucky I'm here, that I can see the things that you don't, you're so trusting, so empathetic, so forgiving, so fucking gullible.. You can't even see you've been manipulated, you're just so fucking easy."

"… Hh.."

"Citrex isn't your husband, he's just like all the other greedy cultists clawing at your heels for an ounce of power, and when he gets it, he's gone. Listen to me, listen to your brother, couldn't you see how he was trying to turn you away from me, because I was telling you the honest truth? He's trying to keep you in the dark, to hide his true intentions, he doesn't love you, nobody does, nobody except me. Do you think I'd have done all of this for nothing, wasted all this time, I'm doing this because you're my sister and I love you, I have your best interest in mind, and all you've wanted to do this entire time is be a fucking annoying little bitch and make things harder for me! Just give it up, Amelia, for fighting for something that isn't worth it, they're not worth it, he's not worth it, I'm worth it. I am and will always be your everything."

[fragilecapricornconfessions]

I am hurting. I am hurting so much. I wish I could squeeze my heart into your ribcage so you can feel the pain for a moment. However, I understand that such a thing would be so selfish. I don't want you to hurt at all. I don't want you to be in any pain. I don't want you experiencing turmoil or destruction. It's bad enough that I have to go through these things. It's bad enough that I am alone with my thoughts most of my days, and I am struggling to find ways to cope and distract myself. I can't believe I haven't spoken to you since last year. It feels so unnatural to say that. Why can't you just reach out? Why can't I get the tiniest sign? Why must so many of my prayers be left unanswered? Do you know what I would do right now if you contacted me? I would literally jump with joy. I would stand up and start jumping. My heartrate would increase significantly, and I would put on the biggest smile I am capable of wearing. I will look up at the heavens and cross my chest. I will get down on my knees and express the sincerest form of gratitude to God in heaven. You have no clue how happy I would be and how much hope I would get if I had just the tiniest communication from you. I will accept just a few words. I would accept an emoji. I would accept a reaction to a post. View my story. Do something. Anything. Anything at all. The tiniest sign would have the most profound effect on me. However, I tell myself all the time that if it hasn't happened in eight weeks, what makes me think it will happen now? Would a catalyst be required to initiate some kind of sign or message? Is it something that could happen out of the blue? Is there any point in latching on to hope? Will I eventually make my way out of this dark abyss that I was thrown into? It's so dark in here that sometimes I'm not even sure I'm heading in the right direction. The hues in nature aren't as vibrant as they used to be. The vocals in my favorite songs aren't as melodic as I remember them to be. My favorite foods don't taste as good anymore. I never felt this way before. I suppose this is so because it took you to make me realize what true love is. I never knew what true love was. I always conflated the love I have felt in the past with true love. However, you opened up a whole new dimension of love for me that I never thought existed. I am crazy about you. You always told me how you were obsessed with me. You were infatuated by me. You were so clingy for me. You couldn't imagine going a day without me. You told me you would be devastated if we ever stopped talking. You said all these things to me. I'm not delusional. I remember it all so vividly. I can recall your words with such clarity that there is no mistaking the authenticity of my recollections. With all this being said, I can only imagine how you're feeling now that our biggest fears have manifested. Are you trying to heal? Are you latching on to hope like I am? Are you struggling to cope with everything? Are you accepting what has happened and trying to move on from it? Please tell me you still have hope. Please tell me you still wish to talk to me. Please tell me you still want to see me again one day. I love you. I love you so much. I hate that I can only see you in my dreams or in pictures. I absolutely hate it. It isn't fair to me, and I wish it weren't the case. Some people say that things sometimes have to get worse before they can get better. Why must such stupid platitudes exist in the world? Why can't things just be perpetually good? Why must we always have to prove ourselves to the world? Why must we always have to fight for love and friendship? Why must everything we do be met with some type of resistance? This is not a life worth living. I understand that the difficulty experienced will help us appreciate life more, but at some point, enough is enough. How much hurt must we endure? Why do we have to keep fighting for things that we deeply deserve? It makes no sense to me. I need you. I need you so badly, my love. Please return to me. Please don't surrender. Please don't you dare give up on us.

[penname-artist]

I actually love this interpretation. Apologies for the wall of text I'm about to dump on this post but, I had more to add onto it as well lol, as a person who's been caught in the crossfire of something just like this, more than once.

Toxic people are not monsters 100% of the time. They can evolve into them. They might even just slowly peel back a mask they've been keeping on just to bait you, the victim, into their traps. Sometimes people just change, not always for the better. Whatever the case may be: attachments can be dangerous, especially when you're codependent or struggle with abandonment. If you're not careful with it, you're going to either go with them into their toxicity, or go down behind them feeling like you betrayed everyone and everything (even the toxic people).

Ishani was most likely in that position. "I care for you, I know what you used to be, I don't want to ruin everything that we had". (*Emphasis here that the good times are not all the time, but they're the things that make it so hard to leave something that becomes so bad for you)

The actual reason I dislike (well, dislike is a strong word. "Prefer not to ship with Dusty anymore" is probably a more appropriate one) Ishani isn't because of this. It's not because her first instinct was to side with Ripslinger despite his ill intent.

Sometimes, people make mistakes. Sometimes people don't want to lose something that they thought was good, by choosing to pretend the bad that it has become doesn't actually exist. People hang onto toxic relationships because they don't want to believe that they really are toxic, not when it used to be so sweet and so perfect.

The reality check that you get when you break off from something or someone like that is literally mind-numbing. It's hard to handle. It's a hard pill to swallow. And, you can make more mistakes from that. You can fight back, it's all too common. And that's okay. You can make mistakes. You just have to remember to owe up to those mistakes, too. Otherwise, you might fall right back into the same rut.

The reason my own opinions of Ishani have shifted over the years has actually been more because I've been a part of those kinds of scenarios. I've woken up out of a stupor, realizing that I got fucked over by people because I was too busy being attached to them to realize that it was killing me, and hurting other people on top of it.

And unlike Ishani's situation, I didn't get to reconcile with those people I'd hurt. It's no longer my situation to fix. Which is kinda why I didn't like Ishani's 'instant fix' situation in the film. Yeah, it's a cheap story device for a kids film to forgive her and it's all better in the end, avoid overcomplicating your small child's brain sure, but, the byproduct of her decisions here could have literally killed Dusty, straight up. If he had not been lucky enough to make it the way that he did, he could have 1) crashed in the tunnel, 2) crashed in the mountains, 3) died of hypothermia, 4) literally anything else, it's the fucking Himalayas guys.

And how is said risk of death then resolved, so says the plot? She made up to him with one part. An object. Not an apology, or any form of communication effort to change and right wrongs. Just, an object.

I would love to see more Ishani stuff out there, truly. But I feel like she deserves a stronger arc. Her own arc. Not sucking up to people anymore, because that seems to be what led her into the first bad predicament with the Green Tornado himself. If she wants to rekindle anything with Dusty, realistically she's gotta have the time away from him to be her own plane and not be hanging onto someone else's power. That's a habit, formed with trauma, to be un-learned.

It ain't an easy road, that's for damn sure, but it's definitely worth it in the long run.

Apologies for my rant and I know this has lots of personal jargon in it too but I had thoughts man, thoughts I needed to air :')

So listen—

I know a lot of people don't like Ishani. I myself was confused the first time I watched the movie, but after reading @carsgeek24 / @askthecarscharacters headcanons, it sorta clicked in my head. She sort of began to make sense to me.

Feel free to disagree with me on this, I don't mind. In fact, I'd like to hear what you guys think.

In their headcanon, Ishani held onto the belief to never abandon a friend in need, or to basically never turn your back on a friend. And it sort of clicked in my head. Her motivations were starting to make sense to me.

Perhaps in her early years Ishani struggled making friends due to anxiety or other reasons. Her only friend at the time was Ripslinger (back when he wasn't a jerk). So even after Ripslinger turned into a huge jerk, she still remained friends with him, because she didn't know what else to do, who else to go to. They used to be good friends back then, she can't just throw that all away.

Ishani had a feeling that when she agreed to help Ripslinger, deep down there was something wrong about it. She didn't want to go through with the plan, but Ripslinger needed her help.

"We're friends, aren't we Sweeheart?"

"You'd never leave me hanging now, would you?"

He was her friend. He wanted— 'needed' her help. So why was every part of her engine telling her she shouldn't do this?

In the end, her gut feeling was right. Ripslinger was her friend. But that all changed now. Dusty is her friend now.

Yet she turned her back on him the second he needed someone's help.

And it broke her to bits seeing him brought back in pieces.

The Ripslinger she knew was gone.

He was a monster now.

Or yanno, maybe I'm just projecting my past experiences with fake friends onto her.

Who knows 🤷‍♀️

[huxianposts]

Pride mood of the day before the month ends:

Thinking about how three weeks ago I went on a crazy insomnia-induced hunt for old fanfic I read in the 2000s and how cultural attitudes are so apparent when flipping back and forth from fic written today to something written 15 years ago and the experience evoked so many feelings of nostalgia, cringe, and awe because I used to see so many fics being unable to name a character as gay or bi or whatever, it was always "[love interest name]-sexual" because homophobia was a whole prevalent thing with people calling everything "gay" in legitimately derogatory tones and gay marriage didn't exist and seemed so far fetched and the fic writers of the times were entrenched in wanting to explore queerness through fictional characters but couldn't freely navigate in a way that felt not humiliating or vulnerable to attack, and recently I found some of these same fic authors over a decade later identifying as lgbtq+ because they now have the space, safety, and community to find and realize all these parts of themselves

And i guess what I'm saying is: it's not always an easy road to figure yourself out. It's hopeful and great to see people explore over the decades through art and connection, to realize the parts of themselves not stifled by fear and shame, and say, "ah, there I am. I'm here." Now, times are tough and it's scary and overwhelming, and it feels almost better to give up because it's easier and you are just so tired. You're tired, and that's okay. But I want you to know that you're here. That it is brave enough to just exist. That it is never too late to explore identities, nor is it shameful to continue that exploration, even if it takes a whole lifetime.

To the fic writers that explored and found themselves over the years: I love you.

To the you now still figuring it out: I love you.

I love you.

Happy pride month, everyone

[holdontokpop]

Realizations - Jungkook scenario (Requested | Fluff/Angst)

@thehopelessromanticclub said: Are you a bank loan? Well, you’ve certainly got my interest. ur ffs are sooooooooooooo damn good. i mean ur existence itself is amazing.....u r one of the finest writers out there, trust me! i just wanted to request a long ff of reader and jungkook. where the reader confesses to him but he kind of rejects her. so she challenges him that she will move in with him and make him fall for her...with lots of fluff and angst if u'd like.....would u plsss do it???*puppy eyes*.

A/N: Hii there, I am sorry for the wait, BUT I hope it's worth the wait! I changed some things up a bit. I hope you don't mind! Ly, have a nice day 😊 💛

Summary: A boy named Jungkook is your childhood crush, and finally, you get the courage to tell your feelings to him, but there's a twist to it.

Members: Jungkook x You

Genre: Fluff / Angst

Warnings: cussing, yelling, fighting, alcohol, cheating

Word count: 2048

Your heart starts beating faster, your hands are sweating. Nervousness washed you over. Your eyes kept looking down at your feet. Jungkook's hand reached yours, taking it in his, but you move it away gently.

"Somehow I never thought my own best friend would do me like this..." you look up at him and laugh a bit. His face wrote "worried" all over it.

"She... She didn't tell me anything and yet knew I liked you for so fucking long..." you spoke and looked away.

"Y/N- I'm sorry." his words left his mouth and you simply nodded your head.

"It's okay... Just one thing is that the two of us are sharing this place... Seeing you with her- You know what? It's fine. I am happy for you, because you're my friend. If you're happy, I am too... For you."

Smile spreads across your face as you touch his shoulder, but you just wanted to cry. It felt like he had feelings for you, too. I guess you were only thinking that way.

"Everything will be the way It always is! I will not let that change." Jungkook got out of the swing, looking at you. Your legs swung a little and you nodded your head.

"Okay, Jungkook."

"Come here-" he spoke, taking your hand, pulling you out of the swing, hugging you tightly. Maybe it felt like a real hug or maybe just a "I'm feeling bad about all this, so I will hug you" type of hug.

For years, Jungkook and you have been friends. Best friends. Over the years, of course, both of you grew and found the things you want to do in your life. To keep and save up some money, the two of you decided to share an apartment where each of you has their room, their privacy, etc... Some of your guys' friends were kind of worried about the two of maybe fighting or something similar.

Basically, the apartment was only for sleeping since the two of you had busy schedules and such and for hangouts.

Way before moving in with Jungkook, secretly, you always felt something towards him. He was just the person who understood you, was always there for you, makes you laugh, etc... In the last year, Jungkook was more affectionate to you. Hugging you more, being closer to you, even sometimes flirt in a way. When at the clubs, parties, the two of you would get so close to each other. Few kisses would fly when both of you were drunk but not being talked about the next day.

Your best friend started to come over more than usual to your place. Everything was normal, like nothing was going on. You never asked Jungkook about his love life, goes both ways. Being that blinded and stupid made you so mad and irritated.

- - -

Time did pass by; somehow, you grew out of those feelings towards Jungkook but knew they were still there. Him and your best friend were still together. Sometimes, watching them cuddling up, hugging, kissing, and such made you so sick. Jungkook, in a way, kept his promise of everything being the same as it did before. He kept trying to talk to you, joke around, and such. That wasn't it anymore. It stopped. When the two of you needed to talk, you did. Maybe you were in the wrong for that same as him, but you just couldn't do it.

Jungkook saw a guy talking to you outside through the window. At first, he didn't think of it as much. He did notice how much you were smiling and him making you laugh. It felt weird to watch you being with someone new? Like he couldn't accept the fact you met someone else and is talking to that person. All of the questionable feelings run through his body. Then the of you kissed. He looked away in that moment, not wanting to watch.

From being best friends to almost just mutual friends did hit him hard sometimes, but never he wanted to show that to you or his girlfriend. He always questioned himself "What if Y/N never told me that?" , "How would our friendship be now if some things didn't happen?".

He was a soft soul, just trying to be tough from the outside.

- - -

After a while, he met your boyfriend, who you have been dating for about 6 months now. His eyes scanned him from head to toe. His hand gripped on his hard, and he fake smiled at him. Jungkook asked you politely if you had a few minutes to spare to talk to him.

You were surprised actually. Jungkook pulled you through the hall, to the kitchen. His body moves closer to yours.

"That guy?!" out of all the things he could say, he said that, whispering. You raise your eyebrows and move away from him.

"What about him, Jungkook? You just met him and have already something negative to say!?" you whisper back, wanting to shout actually being completely out of your mind.

"I don't like him."

"Jungkook-"

"He just- He isn't a good guy for you, and I can FEEL it." Jungkook points at himself, staring at you

"You are being weird now Jungkook. Since when do you even care about me or who am I dating?" you look back, just to check if anyone is coming by.

"Y/N- I never even stopped caring about you. We just somehow stopped hanging out or talking that much. But I can assure you, I saw you many times and-"

"Jungkook, were you watching me??"

"No, just sometimes I just happen to be at the time the two of you kiss or something like that"

The two of you just stared at each other for a few seconds. You didn't know how to feel or what to think of his sayings. It all felt just too many new things at the same time.

"I'm sorry Y/N... For everything... I'll just go now, I don't want any of them to suspect something... Let's have a good night out!"

Smile formed across his face, and he quickly passed by. The night was going really well. All of you were drinking, getting prepared for the club. Cheering one last time before going out, Jungkook and you shared a long eye contact. Both of your hearts would start beating just a little faster.

The group of friends met you at the club, which was already packet. It felt so nice to feel the music and great atmosphere in the air. All of you danced, had quite a lot of drinks. It was all about having fun and being together. Looking to your side, you see Jungkook and his girlfriend sitting on his lap, the two making out, being all over it each other. You didn't want to watch, but just for a split second, I wanted to know how she feels. How is it to be in that position as her? For a long time, you didn't feel this way. It was wrong to feel this way since you have a boyfriend by your side. Jungkook's eyes met yours; the energy that went through your body gave you chills. This time, both of you didn't look away. Jungkook slowly bit on his lower lip and gave you a little nod, before he looked away.

"I am not feeling good... I am going to get some fresh air!" You shout to your boyfriend and slowly find your way out. Jungkook saw you going out alone and made his way to you. Drinks were hitting him hard, but he managed to stay on his feet. He saw you standing near-by the club.

"Hey..." he spoke up, standing in front of you catching you by a suprise.

"What are you doing here, outside? Your girlfriend will look for you." You spoke and Jungkook rolled his eyes being annoyed by your sentence. He took a deep breath and looked around.

"Well... Let her look for me then, I don't care. I want to be with you." He leaned towards you, placing his hand on the wall beside you

"Um... Jungkook... You stink out of alcohol!" Both of you laughed, and he nodded his head in agreement

"Always the same things... You used to say that all the time Y/N-" he looked up, his eyes being very sparkly, a little red. His hair falling over his forehead. This perfume of his that was always one of your favorites.

"You're too close Jungkook-"

"So? Let me be-"

He said softly before kissing you hard. The air felt sexual and hard. Just "wanting more" kind of energy. Happiness above all, but then it hits you. You're cheating. He's cheating. This is wrong. By doing the wrong thing, it made you feel like it was actually the right thing to do. Both of you didn't want it to end.

You placed your hands on his chest, pulling him away quickly. Jungkook looked at you in suprise, but knew what's up. His eyes go wide and he steps back a little.

"Oh shit- Oh fuck me... What have I done?" Jungkook placed his hand over his head.

"No one has to know. We'll just pretend it never happened- Like we always did..." You spoke up

Your boyfriend came storming out of the club. He was mad as he saw Jungkook standing near by you.

"The fuck are you doing with him?!" he shouted at you

"We- We just talked nothing else-"

"I don't care! You don't need to talk to him. You can't!"

Jungkook snapped out of the bad thoughts and looked at your boyfriend being too close to you, getting into your face, shouting at you.

"Hey- Get the fuck away from her!" His hands would reach onto his clothes, pulling him away from you. He was ready to fight. Ready to kick his ass because of the way he treated you.

Managing to come in between them, you stop them. You faced Jungkook in that position. He was breathing heavy and quickly, his hands being formed into fists. Your hand, without your boyfriend noticing, places on Jungkook's. Just to calm him a little bit. You didn't understand why he was doing all this. He never did, never stood up for you like this.

Jungkook's dark brown eyes fall down on yours. He observed your face; just the way you're trying to calm him makes him feel all kinds of ways. His heartbeat raced up; he wanted to kiss you more and be with you more than ever. He wanted to cry because of everything that had happened in the past.

It was the moment of realization for Jungkook. All this time, as soon as you got yourself a boyfriend, he was jealous. What if he always has felt something for you but was too afraid to tell you or ruin the friendship you two had?

"Y/N I'm sorry..." he spoke quietly, looking up and down at you and walked away.

Turning around you just gave a look to your boyfriend and followed Jungkook. He kept walking, being angry at himself, at everything. When there was a nearby bench, he sat down taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"Why are you walking away Jungkook?" he hears your soft, innocent voice. As he opens his eyes there you were stabding in front of him.

"Why are you following me?"

"Maybe because you need to do some explaining" you cross your arms over your chest, he starts laughinga bit and stands up. Jungkook took a step towards you.

"I don't know, but I think this is your lucky night because Y/N... I just realized I was too afraid to ever actually admit to my feelings for you"

"I fucking never should have let you go." he added, placing his hands on each side of your face, looking at you with a smile.

"Y/N, I want to treat you right and be with you, but.... Let's forget all this. Let's start over, please."

He leaned in for a kiss. His lips tasted as the alcohol he drank. His warmth felt nice as it was close to you.

"Jungkook-"

"Shh... Just enjoy the moment before it becomes a memory." He cuts you off by kissing you again, pulling you in even closer, harder.

[glitchlight]

So this one has an easy answer, and a complicated answer; for a couple reasons I don't like the easy answer and i thought about going "eh let's simplify" but nah this is my blog let's fucking get complicated!

Let's hit two main points in regards to this:

1) "Trees" don't exist

So taxonomically speaking, trees are really more of a strategy than an evolutionary branch; this is a slightly different problem to 'birds are dinosaurs' or 'there's no such thing as a fish', which you may have heard if you're aware of any taxonomy fights.

Keeping it simple, 'tree-ness' is really more of an adaptative strategy that appears in many many different plant groups, and there isn't really a hard and fast rule between what humans consider a shrub and what they consider a tree. Here's something if you're more interested in reading on that.

2) Biome is defined by climate

When it comes to vegetation that exists in a given area, and the species that make up the ecosystems that exist in that area, the dominant factor is climate, primarily the annual precipitation, seasonal temperatures, and the prevalence of fire.

Taking a few examples from the states that border the Pacific in the continental US:

The boreal forest in Alaska is defined primarily by having to endure long very cold winters

Temperate rainforests in the PNW are defined by the climatic patterns of the west coast creating high average annual rainfalls

The fire ecology of the southwest creates the chapparal and woodland landscape that California is so famous for; the prevalence of drought due to long term climatic factors means that sporadic, high intensity fires are a dominant evolutionary factor in the ways plants are selected.

So when it comes to where and what biomes are defined by trees, we don't really see a hard and fast rule other than climate; the historic prairies of the central and western US were there primarily because they exist in what's called a "rain shadow" behind the Rockies, and the prairies end where the moisture from the Gulf rises into the land far enough to support forests, which is why you can see that the further north you go, the further east the prairies went.

So as someone who grew up in North Texas (as it was undergoing heavy suburbanification mind, so a lot of it is trashed now), which happens to be just sort of on the edge of where this line is. I also happened to spend countless hours driving through Oklahoma in college. What I saw a lot of was farms and pastures converted from prairie grassland with trees only around the rivers, and North Texas is just arid enough, and historically would have been prone to fires frequently enough that tree species are present in sort of an ever shifting line based on ebbs and flows in drought and fire frequency, and why the trees that are present tend to be oak and hickory (including the Pecan tree), which tend to handle prolonged drought well.

So what does that mean about soil!

To wrap up the long answer, trees will grow in just about any kind of soil imaginable! And in fact, the impact and effect of certain kinds of trees is foundational to how some regions and soils are viewed. From mangrove swamps to temperate broadleaf forests, tropical rainforests to taiga; soil is certainly a factor, but trees love water so so much.

It's also worth pointing out that although it's very easy to categorize soils into the 12 main broad categories that are broadly used in the US, and that I've used in previous posts on this blog, the full classification system breaks out over 1,000 soil subgroups, with over 14,000 individual soil series (effectively the "species of soil") being defined out to the state and county level.

One of my favorite soils (they're all favorites but, well!) are Spodosols, or Podzols which sort of combine everything about soil origins to make a really unique feature, a very bright white layer in the subsurface

With all that being said, the typical answer that most people will give is that in the temperate broadleaf forests that people in the US typically think of when they think of "forest" are primarily alfisols

People should ask me more questions about dirt I love talking about dirt.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

a piece of cake

© @jamesbrnes

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Something happens at Shuri's birthday party that leads to a heated fight.

word count: 3k words. (fuck, it worth every damn word)

warnings/tags: nsfw, +18!!! angry jealous sex, let's start there. unprotected sex, oral sex (face fucking and ridding), fingering, brief daddy!kink, brief praise!kink, language, cursing, handcuffing, mention of bodily fluids, and probably i'm forgetting something else, i just lost my mind. bucky being the cutest and loving man on earth at the end.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

join the tag list here.

You had never been so quiet, but you knew that opening your mouth only could cause a storm inside the car, on your way back home. Believing you could have a pinch of luck, Bucky wouldn't notice that something was raving you mad since the moment you watched him letting another woman give him a spoon of cake. Straight to his mouth. You almost choked on your drink, talking to Shuri about how excited she was to celebrate her birthday in New York, when you witnessed the scene hearing their laughs and watching how they dared to touch his metal arm constantly. Your boyfriend was talking with some of his old friends from Wakanda, not even knowing he made friends there. He never said a word about it. Even so, they didn't have the right to flirt with him. Unless he didn't say anything about you.

But Bucky wasn't stupid. Or at least, not like you thought. Gazing you by the corners of his blue eyes, he was conscious that something was going wrong. He licked his upper lip briefly, slowly. He tasted the waters putting a hand on your thigh, which was your favorite gesture while he was driving, deriving with your fingers laced and him placing kisses on the back of your hand. But you didn't move an inch, still staring through the copilot's window with your elbow nailed there and your chin resting on your knuckles.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing”.

Your passive tone and the lie as a response caused him to frown, pulling over the car to focus on you. He turned on his seat and placed a hand behind the headrest of yours.

“Spit it”.

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow ironically, looking at him for a second. If he had to ask it was because he wasn't really seeing the dilemma there.

“I'm just tired and I wanna go home, James. That's all”.

James. James. You did it unconsciously, but he didn't take it as an innocent manner of calling him. Unexpressive, the soldier joined the highway driving faster than he used to. You had pissed him off, but it wasn't your problem. He had hurt your feelings with something he didn't give any importance to. The only thing you wanted was to take a shower, put on your comfier pajamas and go to sleep, probably you'd see tomorrow that situation differently than today and you could move on from your insecurities and the jealousy running through your veins.

You arrived at your apartment in record time, keeping the car inside the parking under the building. You removed the seat belt to wear your leather jacket and grab your purse on your feet, stepping out when you were ready. But Bucky stayed inside, just turning off the engine. He didn't have any intention of leaving it, maintaining his hands tightly gripped around the wheel. You ignored him as soon as you couldn't pretend you were just tired anymore. It was the first time something like that happened and you were having a strong desire to throw your guts up.

Three minutes later you were under the warm water with your forehead resting against the cold wall and your eyes closed. Maybe you were overreacting and the rational, mature behavior would be to go to talk with him, tell your boyfriend what made you feel upset. Sighing as you nodded two times, determined to put the cards on the table, you shut off the faucet and walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

“Oh, fucking hell!” You growled because of the scare of your life when you found Bucky already in your shared room.

He had his back supported on the wall, a leg flexed, and his hands behind himself. No expression on his face, but expecting an explanation from you. You were hoping for something from him too, maybe I don't know what I've done to make you feel like that, can you give me a clue? He just stared at you in silence, drying the pearls of water decorating your body before wearing a pair of black panties and your forgotten pajamas instead of one of his t-shirts impregnated on his scent.

“Com'ere”. Bucky whispered, stretching his flesh hand on air when you were about to go to sleep.

“No”.

Well, that wasn't the proper way to talk like grown adults. You crossed both arms on your chest, standing next to your side of the bed.

“What'd you say?” He squinted incredulous, slowly standing from the wall, pretending you hadn't uttered that word.

“I said no, you fucking punk”.

“The hell d'you think you're talking to, darling?”

“To the cretin who let other women flirt and touch him”. You replied with evident annoyance. “Why don't you go to show them your daddy's skills, uh? Sure I can find someone who respects me in the meantime”.

Suddenly, a grimace you hadn't seen before on him appeared like a thunderbolt. You weren't sure if you just made him feel more furious or if you just broke his heart. But before you could figure it out, Bucky shorted the distance between both in two fast strides and his hands gripped your throat and the back of your neck respectively, pinning you to the closest wall and tossing the lamp on your nightstand to the floor. You complained slightly —with his tongue wildly invading your mouth— because of the strength he used to put you against the wall.

You tried to push him away, to not fall into his charmings, but he made your mind blank when his fingers were firmly nailed in your ass and his body was accommodated between your legs. Your fiery provoked a bulge under his pants so painful that in every rock against your core he wasn't sure if it hurt or if it was some kind of pleasure he couldn't handle. Out of breath, Bucky attacked your neck, digging his teeth in your neck with so much passion that you screamed delighted his full name while pulling his hair. That gesture drove him insane, losing the less sanity he had at that point. With just a push, your boyfriend ripped off your shirt to strip you, in anticipation of your panties suffering the same fate.

Bucky threw you to the mattress on your abdomen, perfectly positioned to what was about to happen. He was so eager, so desperate for showing you what he was feeling that he didn't lose time taking off his clothes, just undoing his belt and unzipping his jeans to pull them down to his ankles along his boxers. You heard him spitting in his hand to use it as lube, although you were sufficiently soaked and ready for your Buck that neither of you needed his saliva. He rammed his dolorous erection into your cunt, crashing his pelvis and pressing it against your ass with all his strength, causing you to drown a loud cry in the sheets.

Tangling his fingers with yours and lacing your arms around your neck, putting all his weight onto your back, Bucky pounded you with an insanely quick rhythm, not giving you any chance to mold your throbbing walls around his length. Your pleased vocals echoed inside your room in total sync with the hits to your g-spot. Your body received with every one of them soft cramps mixed with pain and pleasure, making you roll your eyes and tear your throat.

“'S that wh— what you wanted, uh?” Bucky snarled against the back of your neck, totally gone, not giving you a break or showing any mercy.

“Fuck, no…” You replied, challenging him.

He swallowed a rough moan, wrapping his cold fingers around your throat while using the other to pull back your hair and arch your body. “Don' fucking… lie to me, doll… You wan— wanted your daddy to make you… feel desired over tho— those women”.

And yes, he was right. More or less. But you didn't expect him to react like that. Bucky was rabidly fucking you, moving the bed from its position with every angry thrust into your pussy. You knew you weren't going to last for too long if he continued impaling you against the mattress, just like that. But you both had to recognize that it was the best session of sex of your life.

“You were… fucking mad watch— watching 'em touch my arm… your arm, right?”

You whined at the brutality he used to push his hard cock beyond your limits, holding it there as he tilted your head to crash his lips on yours. Bucky devoured them until they were shiny, swollen, slightly ached because of the bit he left on your bottom one.

“If you don't tell me… the truth… I swear I'm not gonna let you come”. The whisper fell into your ear with such a raspy tone of voice, conscious of him being very capable.

“It was… your fucking fault, James. Not… Not mine”. You grunted, feeling him going a little deeper. “I di— didn't let anybody flirt with me… as if you didn't exist”.

That was the truth, but the wrong answer for him. Suddenly, Bucky pulled out his dick covered in your arousal, freeing you from any grip. A pause that only lasted the time he took to grab the handcuffs from your nightstand to place them in your wrists and secure them around the headboard. Now you were under his total control, defying him by strongly closing your legs and frowning at him, panting and sweating.

“Lemme tell you something”. Your boyfriend said, dangerously crawling over the bed till reaching your knees and forcing them to be separated, wide spread for him. “If you think I was flirting, but you didn't see… how uncomfortable I was… This situation is not my fault”.

The tables were turned as he finished his sentence, settling himself between your legs yet kneeling to raise your ass above his lap. “Not so mouthy now, are you, doll?”

You wanted to speak back, to say something after having a second to reconsider the reason why you were so angrier at him when Bucky pushed you down and rammed his dick back to the place it belonged. You forced unconsciously your hands gripped, wanting to put them on him —wherever—. As soon as he handcuffed you, your desire for touching him used to be suffocating. But you were the one who played from the start, instead of telling him how you were feeling about that situation at Shuri's party.

Bucky didn't even let you kiss him, stabilizing you on top with an arm around your waist and his cold hand holding the back of your head. His hips rocked straight to your g-spot once and once, making you lose any kind of control over your body as your boyfriend didn't have any compassion, needing to find relief to his sorrowful erection by cumming inside your clenching walls. You were driving him crazy, maintaining your eye contact at all moments and almost drinking your delighted, obscene crying, aware that only him could cause you to be so dirty.

“Feels good, uh…? You like it?” Your boyfriend brushed your lips with his, depriving you of his kisses or any other touch. “Bec— 'cause you take your daddy... so damn good, baby girl… So tight… so tight you could kill me”.

“Yes, da— daddy”. You whimpered nodding your head. “Only you… can fuck me li— like that… Only you”.

“That's it… that's it, oh, fuck… fuck, doll”.

You saw him roll that pair of beautiful blue eyes to the back of his head, feeling Bucky's thighs tensing under your legs. You didn't want anything else than making him cum, after overthinking about how he felt, and not about what you witnessed. He was right, more or less. He was still being so innocent in those kinds of situations that he used to feel like a scared kid.

You suddenly fell back to reality when the emptiness sensation invaded you. Bucky pulled out his length from you again, causing you to beg in silence for not denying you the orgasm you were about to reach. But he warned you. Bucky asked you to tell him the truth and you chose to challenge him. Letting you sit on the mattress, he flexed a leg to guide his twitching cock to your mouth, not needing to tell you what he wanted you to do. You just parted your lips, receiving him without protesting, curling your fingers when he forced your limits, and positioned both hands on your head. Twirling your tongue around his base as you could, with your cavity completely invaded, Bucky provoked you a strong gag. A gesture that led to his warm seed being spilled down your throat.

“Fuck my life, baby girl!” He couldn't help but howl driven by the pleasure as you coughed and made vibrate his sensitive skin.

Just holding his dick trapped by your lips for a second, he freed your mouth, taking his time to admire you swallowing his cum and showing afterward your tongue. God, you looked so beautiful disheveled, with teary eyes and swollen lips because of the effort.

“Want me to tell you something else?” Bucky asked while cleaning the sweat in his forehead with the back of his arm, taking the small key to liberating you with his free hand.

You didn't reply, not needing to, as he rubbed your wrists to comfort your skin before lying by your side.

“Com'ere”. He whispered, yet trying to recover your breathings. Bucky wrapped you with his flesh arm, rubbing his iron fingers up and down your tense belly, creating a contrast that caused you goosebumps. “'M so sorry for making you feel like that”.

He kissed you. Slowly, passionate, tasting his own juices mixed with your saliva. Caressing your tongue with the tip of his, and no rush. You felt his digits touring down your skin, till finding your throbbing and needed clit. You weren't able to hold back a sweet moan when he circled his fingertip over your sensible pearl, gladly drinking your vocals.

“When I wanted to react… she was putting that damn spoon into my mouth. It felt horrible, doll, I promise”. He murmured, venturing his long cold finger to part your folds and sink it inside you —moaning at the fulfill sensation—. “You always save me from those awkward situations… but you were having fun with Shuri and I didn't want to interrupt you”.

You were feeling like shit, looking at him through your eyelids as he curved a second finger into your cunt and increased the pace of the pounds with his hand made of vibranium. Bucky spread some gentle kisses all around your face, ending with a tender bite to your lips.

“When you told me you wanted to go home, I felt a huge relief… 'Cause that was everything I wanted. Go home with you. Maybe watch a movie… cuddle… fall asleep on the sofa”.

“Oh, God, Bucky”. You wept onto his mouth, as soon as a third finger filled you, nailing his hand in the perfect position to be moved up and down. “I'm so— sorry, Buck… I'm sorry”.

“Fuck, no”. He let out, thrusting you harder, faster, creating a melody of filthy sloppy sounds while your moans were louder and louder. “I should stop 'em, I didn't… I didn't. But I respect you more than anything, doll… I love you with all my heart. I care 'bout you, 'bout your feelings… Can you forgive me? Can you… Can you cum for me?”

You nodded your head running out of words, seeing your boyfriend snaking his body down the bed to between your shaky legs, yet having his fingers knuckles deep inside you. “Keep 'em open for your man”.

The blow to your abused cunt provoked you a lash up to your backbone, landing your hands on his head as Bucky sank his face straight to your center. His digits fucked you savagely, while his tongue took control of your swollen pearl —sucking, licking, kissing, pulling it back—. He wasn't going to deny that pleasure to you, quite the opposite. You pressed unconsciously his face a little closer to your pussy, swinging your hips and riding his mouth when his caresses and his pushes became too much for you.

Bucky made you cum harder than ever, crying his name till you didn't have any strength and you were just a sack of bones under his expert mouth, devouring you and drinking your juices as if it was the elixir of life. And when he was satiated, you glanced at him using the tip of his tongue to trail a path up crossing your abdomen, the gap between your breasts, your throat, until kissing you again getting comfortable on top of you. It was a kiss full of love, and guiltiness, and necessity, and pure devotion for you.

“Did I hurt you with what I said?” You murmured, still enraptured by the fireworks fluttering within your belly.

“This isn't 'bout me”. Bucky clicked his tongue, hiding his face into your sweaty neck. “This is 'bout what I let happen”.

“That doesn't answer my question, Buck… I'm sorry about what I said. I was just… I feel insecure". You confessed stroking his scalp and back with your hands, lacing your legs together. “I didn't mean it. I would never try to… find someone who respects me more than you do. That's impossible. And not talking about how much you love me”.

“I love you with every inch of myself”. He swore, he promised, raising his face to look straight at your eyes. “I can't imagine a life without you”.

“Me either… Your love makes me feel alive”.

Bucky left one last tender kiss on your lips before suddenly standing up and holding you onto his arms to carry you to the bathroom and take a shower together —wash your hair, worship your body again as if it was the last thing he was going to do—.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and REBLOG!!!

support the writers 🤍

tag list: @whatrambles @phoenixhalliwell @homesicam @marvel-diaries @amelia-song-pond @heartbeats-wildly @met4no1a @weenersoldierr @petlaufeyson @sillygamingartghost @wildflowergubler @isnt-it-loverly @zealouspursecowboydeputy @rvgrsbrns @artisancowbells @plagooey @tinylumpiaa @hemsbucky @bxmaaa @quxxnxfhxll @soldierstucky @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul @hateinthemorning @asemistablehundredyearoldman @purpleelfwizard @twinerd14 @nikkixostan @stolenxkissess @wintersfilm @whoreforsamwilson @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm @baconmuffins1216 @28cnn @hxlyhoax @lieswithoutfairytales @angrybirdxx @clownerlyluv @kait-is-always-late @marvel-ousnesss @natashadeservedbetter @ebxny27 @fanofalltheficsx @spider-man-lover @masterlists101 @lewd-alien @warm-sensations @stealapizzamyheart @talk-on-the-street @theresnoplatypus

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Mr. Sandman (Chapter 7)

Summary: Felicity Burgess, the adopted daughter of Alex Burgess and Paul McGuire lived a sheltered life from the dark secret that lay beneath her feet. But what happens when that secret is now her's to keep? Will her love for her family keep her from doing the right thing or will Mr. Sandman bring her a dream worth sacrificing everything?

Chapter Triggers: None

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve; the fear of failure - Paulo Coelho

Click here for chapter 6

Wonderland's Workshop

She could feel the utter suffocation his presence gave off as he stood looming over her. She felt it at that moment. The feeling of being so small in the universe the longer she stared up into his abyssal eyes. A part of her wanted to shrink away from the immense power he was radiating but the feeble, kind, human side of her wanted to find some sort of rational explanation for this. He wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't. They may not have a strong friendship but she would like to think they shared some sort of bond after she'd helped free him right? Right? She swallowed the lump in her throat as her hands shook in her lap and her head slowly shook from side to side as she tried to fight the rock lodged in her throat to speak.

"I-I don't k-know what you're talking about. M-Morpheus, please! You have to b-believe me..." her chest heaved as she desperately sought his features for any signs that he believed her words.

But the sinking feeling in her chest told her one thing. The man standing in front of her was not her sandman. But it was Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless. King of Dreams and Ruler of the Nightmare realm. This being in front of her was the Dreaming personified and it was angry. Angry and vengeful as it stood in front of her daring her to lie to him and betray whatever they had. He wanted her to cave and to tell her the information she did not have. Even in the wrathful protectiveness of his realm Morpheus was hauntingly beautiful but in the most horrifying way.

"Do not lie to me." he seethed

Up close now she could see the mist of unshed tears in his eyes and the clench of his jaw; the faintest of trembles of his lips were the first things she noticed that gave away the humanity within him. Felicity craved to reach out and stroke the tension from his features but her hands clasped knuckle white in her lap too afraid of the consequences of those actions would be. She could see nothing but him and the darkness of the shadows in every corner of her guest room as if the pair of them were sunken into the abyss his cloak and magic has engulfed them in.

"I don't...I can't tell you things I do not know Morpheus," she stated lowering her gaze.

There was silence between them until a caw broke through the inkiness of the darkness and the lord of dreams pulled back to see Matthew perched on a crumbled stone. The bird had the gull to speak directly to his master in such a way that Morpheus had every right to punish him but his words stopped him and forced him to think instead.

"Boss, listen to me. The girls telling the truth! She wasn't born a Burgess. Use your head, man! She'd been adopted, maybe she doesn't exist because that's not her birth name!"

Felicity's head snapped over to the bird with wide eyes as she stared up at him. "How'd you know I was adopted, Matthew?"

"Girl, Alex Burgess is gay; always had been. There's no way he'd slip up and sleep with some woman to accidentally have you." there was slight scorn in the raven's voice making him sound far too human.

Morpheus turned away from them and stalked across the room. "We will have words, Felicity. But until then, you are to stay out of my way."

"Stay out of your way? You brought me into the Dreaming Morpheus! If you don't want me here then take me back home, damn you!" Felicity called standing hastily to her feet.

The tall frame spun around to look at her with blazing eyes she had not seen before on him. "You will not leave my realm until I know you are not a threat to the Dreaming or the Waking World."

"So I'm suddenly a prisoner? What happened to my human body not meant to be here in the Dreaming long?" she demanded taking a step towards him.

He studied her a moment before cocking his head to his raven. "Gaurd her, Matthew." was all he said before he was gone in search of Lucienne, no doubt.

Felicity sat back on the bed feeling her knees grow weak after his overpowering presence left the room and yet still she could feel it lingering behind like smoke from a candle. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself and pulling her legs up to her chest.

"Hey," the sound of wings flapping made the raven's landing beside her on the bed silent as he hopped into her view. "Don't be upset with Dream. He's just not used to things flying under his radar you know?"

Felicity choked on a teary laugh. "Does he think I'm a threat? Just because I'm adopted? Is that how things work in this world?" she shook her head and tucked her face into her knees. "I did nothing wrong."

The bird sighed and hopped up into the air to land on her updrawn knees; even with her head tucked away he tried to ease her worries by pecking lightly at her auburn locks as if trying to gain her attention.

"Look at this from his point of view Ms. Felicity. The man just escaped from imprisonment that lasted over a century. He returns to his world empty-handed to find his realm in shambles; with barely anything left to salvage he has to rebuild but first has to find the tools to do so. He has a lot of work on his hands and then to come to find out his friend may be a threat to his already weakened realm is…"

Felicity raised her head slightly to peer at the raven and into his dark beady black eyes. "I am not a threat Matthew. I don't know what he is talking about that I don't exist…i-if I am a threat I don't mean to be. I just don't understand…" she swallowed and lifted her head entirely to rub at the tear streak on her pale cheeks.

"Kid…" Matthew cocked his head feeling his small birdy heart break a little at the sight of those tears. "Maybe if you show him you want to understand and help…perhaps he'll rethink things." he offered in an attempt at soothing her.

"How am I supposed to do that? I'm scared…so scared to even leave this damned room anymore without fear of being targetted or cornered by him again." then there was the fact that she didn't know Morpheus as well as she thought she had.

In the end, the King of Dreams and Ruler of Nightmares was more than a child's bedtime story and so very different; complex, and hard to understand in the end. He was a being all of his own and nothing in books or long past stories would shine any more light onto who Morpheus was. She was a fool to think that there was anything special between the two of them. That much was clear. But Matthew the raven was right. Maybe if she at least showed interest to learn more about what was troubling the Lord of Dreams then he might have the good graces to allow her back into her world at the least.

"Try the library maybe? Lucienne may be of help even if reluctant at first." the raven answered before hopping up onto the girl's shoulder. "Dream won't hurt you. It's never in his nature to physically harm anyone."

The redheaded girl rose to her feet and let out a bit of a huff. "I'm not worried about him harming me physically Matthew. Sometimes the worse thing isn't physical pain but the cold hard truth that we cannot run from our own minds," she stated softly as she headed for the large door to her shambled chambers.

~

She wasn't sure what she was looking for. She was and never would be one who could figure out a library whether in her world or this one. It was clear the more she trailed down one aisle and then the next. She didn't know what was what and how the books were organized since she had yet to find Lucienne and those stupid shelves had no labels to speak of. What, did the librarian know every book on every shelf by heart? Of course, she did. Lucienne was the Dreaming Library just as Morpheus was the Dreaming. Matthew of course was no help as he idly hopped from the perch on her shoulders to the tops of the shelves depending on where the mortal paused to check something out; keeping an eye on her was rather easy for the bird and quite pleasing too as not only was she easy on the eyes but her company, despite the cloud above her that troubled her mind, was actually a breath of fresh air in comparison to the company of his master who always resembled the Waking world's version of a sulking emo boy or a half-drowned wet cat.

Little did the pair know that they were not alone. While Felicity strolled along the walls of shelving; above them on the upper level were Lucienne and her lord. The woman started noticing the lack of attention the King of Dreams was giving the volume in front of him as the soft feminine voice drifted from below to grace their ears and the muffled cawing laughter of the raven sent to guard her.

"Do you think I was too harsh on her?" Morpheus spoke up as his eyes betrayed his feelings; casting over the grand railing towards the movement below still unaware of onlookers from above.

"I think you did what you thought was right at the moment. Why, if I may ask my lord. Are you questioning yourself and your judgment?" the librarian cocked her head as she peered over the rim of her glasses.

"Is it the claim of bond you two seem to share over your imprisonment?" the words were spoken boldly but not unkindly as she stared across the table at the raven-haired man.

"I think perhaps, there is more than I first believed of this girl. Have you not noticed?" blue eyes lifted to meet brown.

"Whatever do you mean sir?"

"The Dreaming. I felt it as if it was taking a breath of fresh air after a long wait in the dust. The energy here has shifted without my doing; since the moment her feet landed in the sand." Morpheus murmured seriously.

One dark brow lifted as Lucienne gently placed down her book. "Do you think it has something to do with her being a waking soul in the Dreaming?"

"I do not know."

They fell silent then; realizing too late that the voices below had begun to grow louder as if the people responsible drew near the elder beings both looked over as Felicity paused at the top of the staircase; a bright smile on her face as she laughed at something Matthew was telling her. But the smile fell as soon as her green eyes landed on the pair by the railings where a table stood for those who wished to sit and read.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry." the girl swallowed and her eyes cast down to her feet as she took a step back down. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

Morpheus did not like the look that crossed her face the second her eyes landed on him for the briefest of moments. There was fear lurking in those eyes and he felt his chest grow heavy. He had taken it too far with his intimidation. He had not meant to cause her permanent fear of his presence. But he looked like he had. He admitted at that moment he had been overly angry at the thought of losing more of his world because he allowed a human to get too close to him and cloud his judgment.

"It is alright. Are you looking for something in particular?" Lucienne spoke up when her lord did not and her voice although cautious did hold a bit of curiosity behind it.

Felicity glanced up at Matthew who let out a wordless caw and a hop on her shoulder. Well, he was of no help. Tentatively, she placed her feet back on the floor; hands clasped in front of her.

"Actually, I was hoping I could speak with you Lucienne...I could use your help..." she glanced at the dream lord who had bowed his head pretending to read the volume in front of him. "If you had some spare time?"

Lucienne glanced between the pair with an almost amused look in her chocolate eyes as she tapped her fingertips on the table. "Of course, what can I help you with?"

Taking a breath, Felicity cautiously walked over to them; keeping in mind to not get close to Morpheus, the man himself noticed this small development as he glanced up slowly without moving his head.

"You said that there is a book for every soul from the waking world and the Dreaming ever created right?" she licked her lips as she looked around. "But you spoke with Mor-" she coughed. "Lord Morpheus about the fact that I do not have a book within your library...is there any way we can find something on me? O-Or my birth parents that may give us a clue to my real identity."

The Librarian's brows rose sharply as she pondered this. "Are you asking me if there is a chance that your book is on my shelves under a different name?"

Felicity nodded as she reached up mindlessly to stroke Matthew's feathers. "I do not mean to deceive either of you. Especially...after everything and bringing me here. I can assure you I am no threat...the idea that I do not have a place within this library makes me question my own identity." she murmured truthfully; the slump of her shoulders making the raven shift on his perch.

"We may not have the means to find out...unless you perhaps have clues to how we may pursue this new mission?" there was a kinder tone to Lucienne's voice as she pulled one of the chairs from the table as a peace offering.

The girl hesitated but in the end rested herself against the polished wood; her body shifting to turn away from the dream lord next to her in favor of looking up at the still-standing librarian who began to idly browse through her ledger again.

"I can tell you my story. From what I remember...Perhaps, there we can figure something out. If not...I do not know what to do." Felicity sighed.

"That's alright. Please, tell us." Lucienne placed her book down and perched herself carefully on the edge of the table giving the younger female an encouraging look.

Taking a breath Felicity began her tale. All the while staring at the patterns of the natural wood; fingertips lightly tracing the swirling patterns and tree rings naturally to the wood's creation.

"I grew up as the adopted daughter of Alex Burgess and his husband Paul McGuire. I have always known I was adopted for the clearest of reasons. For some reason though, my fathers did not wish to talk about how they came to have me in their care. Anytime when I was younger I would ask one or the other about my birthparents or any information that they had about how they came to be my family. They were always tight-lipped about it all which at first I thought was normal. It's not unusual for parents with adopted children to stay mum about the child's origin if it did not come from good lines. Drunks, murderers, drug addicts. That sort of thing. So I too, thought that was my origin; something about bad parents who could not take care of me." she mused softly, drawn into her own memories as she spoke unaware of the raft attention she had from her peers.

"I let it go the more I grew up because I didn't want to anger my parents or make them doubt me, you know? But sometimes I often wonder about my birth parents. The Children's home that I was adopted from no longer stands though, so I would not be able to find answers there; trust me I tried when I was younger."

The scratchy scratch of a pen on paper caught the girl's attention and made her look over at Lucienne who was writing stuff down in the book. When the girl did not continue the woman waved her pen at her politely asking her to continue in silence.

"So you were unable to search for any signs of birth parents then? What about any workers that used to work there that may have known you?" she questioned.

"Um, I was an unnamed baby when I was brought there. Alex and Paul named me upon adoption." the girl looked sheepish but that look turned downcasted when she realized they really didn't have a clue.

"Hey hey let's not have a long face! You got something with you that you might be able to be identified by?" Matthew questioned lightly pecking at her stray hairs in an attempt to ease her discontent.

Morpheus watched from the corner of his eye and listened with keen ears realizing how comfortable his subjects were getting around the girl and for a moment he wondered for the briefest of seconds if Felicity would be able to visit more often if not permanently move in. But that was selfish and out of the question.

"Just a baby blanket but it wasn't anything special. Whatever the Children's home had for me." she shrugged lightly.

"Hmm, anything else?" Lucienne tried encouragingly.

The girl thought it over for a moment before her eyes sparked with a memory. "There was...Paul had said that there was a chain with a ring hanging off of my neck whenever I was brought to the Children's home. Although, I never got to see it because Alex took it from me before I had a chance and it completely slipped my mind."

"Where is this ring now?" Felicity jumped at the sudden sound of Morpheus's voice for the first time since she'd entered the library.

Licking her lips a moment she finally met his gaze and there went that gravitational pull that thrummed through her. No, she was supposed to be upset that he'd scared the hell out of her but she knew that anger was long gone; she could not find it in herself to be angry for the being simply being concerned for his realm's safety.

"I don't know. I could ask Paul when I get home to see where it went. I bet they probably have it in a safe somewhere with their other valuables." she replied softly before looking up at Lucienne "Is there some sort of magic you can do to track the original owner maybe?"

"We could but that would be a lot of work." the elder mused before looking over at her master with a look. "But it would be easier to tap into the memory residue left behind by the owner. Would you be able to do that sir?"

Felicity's head snapped over to him and he was met with hopeful green eyes. Leaning back against his chair he stared back at her before his gaze left to travel away. "I cannot. Not without my tools."

The hope within her deflated and she slumped in her chair. The upper level of the library was in dead silence for a moment before suddenly Matthew cawed regaining their attention.

"What if you took Ms. Felicity with you in search of your tools boss?"

"No. That is out of the question." Morpheus rose from his seat in a flurry and snapped the volume closed on the table. "It is far too dangerous for a mortal to travel with me."

"That's rather rude." Felicity grumbled, "You say such things like that almost as you care Morpheus."

The dream king paused by her chair and glared straight ahead; refusing to look at her as he spoke. "You are mortal. The places I go cannot sustain you. It is for your own good."

She scoffed and rose to her feet. Poking him on the shoulder as she passed. "You're the one who took me to the Dreaming! This is your fault." she pointed out

"A mistake I am attempting to rectify am I not Burgess?" Morpheus stared down at her and she couldn't help but huff.

"You know what? If you're going to leave me like some caged animal the least you can do is send me back home. I'm sure Johanna is worried sick that I haven't come back yet." she crossed her arms thinking she had won this one but she caught that little smirk tug at the corners of the man's mouth as he leaned closer to her

"You will not be going anywhere until we sort this little problem." and with that, the tall being left the library silently in his victory.

Felicity glared back as he left before she threw her hands up in the air. "Insufferable! Utterly insufferable!" she huffed before she caught the look Lucienne and Matthew shared and she pointed a finger at them

"What?!"

The librarian hid a smile and ducked her head back to her ledger. "Nothing miss." she fought a smile. "Nothing at all."

Click here for Chapter 8

If you enjoy my work please consider reblogging to share with your friends who may like this series! Thank you! <3

If you wish to be added to the tag list for future chapters please let me know!

[super-predictable98]

The Therapists From Music Room 3 (Host Club x Reader)

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club Word Count: 1,5k Warning: mention of depression (Masterlist)

You had a comfortable life, of so you thought until your dad was transferred to Japan and his company started paying for your education. You started your second year at Ouran High School, a place filled with young billionaires with no common sense. You came to realize what real wealth looked like and it wasn't as pretty as you thought.

Some of the people there were very cruel, they were quick to dismiss anything and anyone that wasn't up to their standards. There were a lot of hidden fights with passive-aggressive remarks, and even when they didn't mean to offend, they could be so clueless when it came to people who had a normal life.

As a result, you didn't have many friends, mostly because you were scared to approach people, but also because you were previously traumatized by the bullying from your last school. You didn't even wanna imagine what sort of humiliation waited for you from these rich snobs.

With almost no one to talk to and living in a country completely different, so far away from home, it didn't take long for you to start feeling depressed.

You didn't have the nerve to tell your parents you weren't happy. Who wouldn't be? Going to one of the most prestigious institutions in the world, eating some of the best food in the country, surrounded by beauty... You just couldn't help but feel a bit ungrateful, whiny.

"Jesus, in a castle so big, there isn't a single place without anyone to bother me?" you fixed the sleeves of your silly yellow uniform. For the past ten minutes, you had been going from one room to the other, looking for an empty space to be alone.

So far you had no luck, every little corner of the building seemed to be inhabited by rich people promenading like they were in a period drama. Weirdly enough, no one seemed to study a lot there.

"Welcome, princess," a choir of male voices greeted as soon as you opened the door to music room 3 (yeah, the number of music rooms in the school did surprise you).

Before you could close the door and keep wandering around, your attention was captured by a group of seven young men: a tall quiet one, a tiny cheerful one, a blonde one with the most beautiful smile, one with glasses who was taking notes, a delicate one with the kindest eyes you had ever seen, and a set of twins.

"We weren't expecting any guests yet, what brings such a beautiful angel here so early, my darling?" the blonde one stood up, flashing you a charming grin and offering his hand. "Come in, don't be shy."

"Sorry, did you say guests? Is there a party or something? Cause I wasn't invited so I-"

"There will be a tea party soon!" the tiny one, who didn't look much older than your 8-year-old brother, said. "Don't worry, you're invited, every girl is invited!"

"Who's more your type? Quiet and cool? Shota? Little devils? Smart?" the one in glasses asked. "You can have your pick since you were the first one to arrive."

"Excuse me, I'm not sure I know what's happening," you laughed awkwardly. Those guys were all really cute, but you couldn't stop thinking that it all seemed like a cruel prank. "Who are you?"

"We are the Host Club, of course!" the blonde kissed the back of your hand gracefully bowing. "We are here to bring smiles to the faces of every girl in Ouran High. If I can make you smile at least once, my existence in this world will have been worth it."

"What?"

"I've seen you before, you're the other scholarship student, right? I'm Haruhi," the kind-looking one introduced himself. "These are Tamaki senpai, Mori senpai, Honey senpai, Kyoya senpai, and the twins are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin."

"H-hello, I'm y/n."

"A commoner? I love commoners, this is gonna be so much fun!" Tamaki cheered. "Would you like some instant coffee, my dear? Maybe you'd rather taste it on my lips?"

"I don't think she likes being called a-" Haruhi tried to intervene, but Tamaki shook his head.

"It's all right, daddy's taking care of it," his exceedingly charming facade dropped for a split second.

A host club? So they gave girls attention to make them feel special? As nice as it sounded, you couldn't shake the feeling that it would be painful to have a guy talk to you out of obligation, not because he really cared or wanted to know you better.

"Actually, I was looking for a place to be alone..." you let go of his hand.

"Why? You have seven perfectly handsome guys right here, who would choose to be alone instead?" the twins said in unison.

You didn't really have an answer. You wanted to be alone to cry, to think about all the things you used to do that were fun and now weren't anymore, about the friends you lost, about how everything seemed to have turned upside-down with no signs of going back when all you wanted was to keep living your life the way it was. You were happy, why did all of that have to be stolen from you?

"Are you okay?" Haruhi asked, a worried frown twisting his delicate features.

"I'm sorry, I don't wanna ruin your tea party, I just wanna be alone," your voice cracked through your plea, your eyes involuntarily filling with tears.

"The moments you want to be alone are the moments you need other people the most," Honey timidly made his way to you and held out the pink bunny he was carrying. "Do you wanna hold Usa-chan? It always makes me feel better."

"Hey, don't cry, come here, sit down," Tamaki gestured to the couch. "A beautiful face like yours shouldn't be stained with tears unless they are tears of joy."

You wanted to walk away, but you didn't have the strength to. Having someone be so nice to you, even if it was technically their job, felt so overwhelming and good. You couldn't help but want more of it.

Tamaki sat right next to you, the twins did the same. The others sat on the opposite side, except for Kyoya, too busy typing on his laptop and calculating finances for the club. He trusted the others would be able to help without a problem.

"Why are you so sad?" Kaoru asked. "Is it because you don't have money?"

"Kaoru!" Haruhi scolded.

"I just miss my home, I feel lonely, I wasn't able to make any friends here, I feel so excluded," you finally said, it was like getting a weight off your chest. "I don't feel like I belong here."

"Oh, I get it... It takes a while to get used to it," Haruhi murmured, remembering how he didn't even have a school uniform when he first started. "But I promise it won't last forever, even if most people here are completely out of touch-"

"HEY!" Tamaki yelped before charmingly resting his chin on your shoulder. "I don't know about everyone else, but no one in the host club is out of touch, especially not me. I'm always in touch, and right now I'm craving your touch, princess."

"You're being weird!" Haruhi sneered, which seemed to hurt him way too much. "What I mean if even if it seems like you don't belong, you deserve to be here and you already have a friend in me."

"Right!" the twins agreed. "Us too! Please don't cry, do you wanna play Which One is Hikaru? If you win, you get a kiss... Or maybe you'd like to watch us kissing instead?"

"Wait, what? Is that a thing? Also, I just met you, it's still a little hard for me to tell who's who," your lips formed a smile as Tamaki gently wiped your tears away.

"Do you want some cake?" Honey suggested. "Strawberry shortcake is my favorite, but I can get whatever flavor you like, y/n-chan!"

"I know how hard it is to change your entire life like this," Tamaki admitted, something he usually didn't talk about, but he felt like it would be worth it if it brought you some peace. "I moved to Japan not too long ago, I had to leave everything behind, but now I feel like I have a family here, not only at home but in this club. It's always harder in the beginning, but I promise it gets better, and you can always count on me to distract you if you ever feel sad," he crooned, ending that moment of vulnerability.

"Thank you, guys... I- I don't know what to say," you looked down, your cheeks burning. Even though all of them were hosts, you simply knew they weren't talking to you out of obligation or throwing some cheap pick-up lines at you, they actually cared and it showed.

"Say you'll stay for the party!" Honey clapped.

"Yeah, I guess a cup of tea and some cake wouldn't hurt."

Tag List: @myherokatsuki @elliethesuperfruitlover

[lovelycleon]

So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.