#kazuki my beloved

[frostleni]

Just me and my partner

[varubaaru]

[catgirlreisuwa]

[miss-maka-chan]

This is pretty much the perfect summary and energy I feel about this show that I'm now in love with!

Absolute must watch ❤️

SO I just finished binging all of Romantic Killer bc it came up in my recommended. And oh my god I loved it so much;;

There’s definitely mixed reviews about it WHICH IS FAIR bc the premise is about a girl named Anzu who isn’t interested in romantic relationships but she then gets pushed into typical dating sim situations with Really Cute Boys in an effort to like. Force her into a relationship. And obv this kinda comes off as arophobic. But the fact that she so stubbornly refuses to partake and tries so hard to veer away from those situations makes it so fucking funny, especially when she rejects the boys with faces like this

And it turns out it’s really just a show about found family and overcoming trauma and developing healthy friendships with people and UGH. UGHHH it’s so good.

I actually adore Riri lmao they’re SUCH a little shit and I very much enjoy insanely chaotic characters like that. And we start off thinking okay wow this person’s kind of an asshole for forcing a girl to get a boyfriend by taking away her cat, her favorite hobby and her favorite snack, but then we find out OH, they’re just a cog in a corporate machine and they don’t really have much of a choice about it. And we slowly see Riri actually gain true affection for Anzu, and see how much they come to care about her as a person rather than just as a test subject, to the point of them actually breaking the rules of their contract just to make sure she’s safe. AND NOT JUST HER. They make sure the people she’s associated with are safe too, even if it risks them getting in Big Trouble with their boss. AND the fact that they canonically go by they/them pronouns but can ALSO transform into a boy or a girl depending on their preference, and they playfully flirt with Anzu in both forms?? It’s so good. Also thinking about the effort that Anzu goes through to make sure Riri gets to stick around;; like even tho she’d never admit it. She’s come to care for them too in some very strange way lol

And Junta;; the fact that Anzu is actually so concerned about him possibly being brainwashed into the position of childhood friend? Like she doesn’t immediately push him away or shut him down, she actually cares about him as a person and wants him to find happiness and wants to get him out of the situation she thinks he’s in. But then she finds out oh wait he actually IS a childhood friend. And he’s such a good boy. I love love LOVE how they handle the love triangle aspect in this, because obviously yes there’s a bit of jealousy, but not enough for things to get petty between him and Kazuki. They actually treat each other with respect and regard each other as friends and are kinda rooting for the other in their own way. Kind of “may the best man win” sort of thing. There’s no toxicity, there’s no classic “fighting over the female love interest” trope, they actually genuinely like each other after a bit of awkwardness enough to feel comfortable with living together and living with Anzu. They’re SO fucking sweet god dammit //shakes fists

(Honestly tho I really wish we got more episodes focused on Junta. Bc he really seemed like more of a background character and made the whole “love triangle” aspect not feel as prominent. Which is fine I guess?? But I felt so bad for him lmao)

And Kazuki 😭 My beloved. My poor sweet boy who deserves the world and everything in it. Just the build up. The subtle hints of his trauma that pop up every now and then. And when it all comes together you’re like oh!! Ohhh. THAT’S why he acts so aloof and cold all the time. THAT’S why he doesn’t like being the center of female attention. THAT’S why he gets distressed at things that, at first, seem so insignificant. THAT’S why he got attached to Anzu so quickly. And I love the way they handle his trauma, how they don’t make it seem any less important or alarming just because he’s a guy. And how Anzu’s there for him through everything 🤧 How she’s the person to pull him out of the darkness, how she stands up for him time and time again, how she just KNOWS when he’s uncomfortable and steps in to protect him. She ends up caring about him so much despite how they were set up to encounter initially. And he cares about her so much too. And I just 🥺 I care them

Also the fact how everyone came to help Kazuki when they found out what was going on. No judgement, no “you’re making this up”, no “isn’t this your fault to begin with?” They all just step in without even hesitating and support him through his trauma and immediately go “Okay we’ve got a problem so here’s our gameplan.” SEE. IT’S REALLY ABOUT THE FOUND FAMILY,

And one of my favorite things. Riri 🤝 Hijiri using their influence and power to protect both Anzu and Kazuki despite the risks to their reputation and social standing

OH AND I wanted to mention. I love that all of the classic romantic tropes i.e. something happening to your cute neighbor’s apartment so that they’re forced to live with you while it gets sorted out–those are generally really cheesy and make huge plot holes and don’t make ANY sense in the narrative. But that’s the thing about RK, they make it funny, yeah your cute boy neighbor’s apartment flooded bc we need him to come live with you. We did it with magic. Yes your childhood friend is living with you now bc we had a weirdo break into your apartment–with magic. So now he feels like he needs to stay with you and protect you. Yes you got hit by a car with a really rich boy inside and now he’s interested in you. We also did this with magic. Everything that would be regarded as a “coincidence” and is a badly written plot point just to push two characters together is actually explained through the hilarious concept of magic and I LOVE that it’s so fucking funny

Honestly this show is really up to interpretation too which I like a lot? Some people think hey yeah, maybe Anzu will end up with someone. Others say you know what the message here is that friendship is the most important thing and sometimes platonic relationships are better than romantic ones. The ending is pretty ambiguous so it could really go in any direction.

Anyway I have so much more to say but. Just watch Romantic Killer it’s really good thanks bye

(Trigger warnings include sexual harassment/assault, stalking, panic attacks/PTSD, and attempted murder, so please take care while watching <3)

[chiosblog]

Daddy kiss

(Miri just heard other kids talking about how their parents sometimes kiss eachother and want to see her papas do the same)

[chippuyon]

did the thing

[zsbrainrot]

1 Year Ago the world was blessed with this iconic scene, so naturally I had to do a redraw to celebrate

[rainywithachanceofstars]

[twottie-m8]

Kazurei Week Day 2 || Gaming

[tazernatic]

alright we're three for three on granted wishes

so there's either someone from PA works living in my walls right now or mr. apollo has got some very interesting plans for me

[night-willows]

Asakura… character analysis? (Glorified infodump-)

I just- the Asakura hyperfixation is STRONG today oh boy. I’m just gonna ramble about him until it goes away I think.

CW for Asakura chapter spoilers/maybe some full game spoilers and also all the potentially triggering things in Asakura’s chapter.

Euphoria visit:

SO. Starting from the beginning, I honestly just see the situation with his professor as so weird and manipulative?? Asakura was still young and his older professor who he TRUSTED and RESPECTED got him drunk and used his power over him to manipulate him into going to Euphoria and cutting Towa’s back… because…??? We never got a reason and I KIND OF wish we did to understand the full story but it also makes sense since we heard about it from Asakura that he might just not know. Obviously if the professor knew about Euphoria and willingly went there there’s a chance that he’s a pedophile but. Who knows. SO we basically have a young person under the influence of alcohol with the older person he’s put his trust into pushing him into doing something awful that he NEVER would have done otherwise. I do think we can put SOME blame on Asakura here, don’t get me wrong. Despite the reasons for it he did hurt someone, and a vulnerable defenseless child at that. BUT Asakura is just as much a victim in this situation as Towa. I honestly see it pretty similarly to Ikuina’s experience at Euphoria, although with Ikuina being literally a child and literally forced it’s hard to put ANY blame on Ikuina, whereas I do think some of the responsibility still lies with Asakura. BUT it’s just a fucked up situation all around so he is in no way the horrible person he (and maybe some of the fandom?) thinks he is for it. Also, the thing he says about seeing the blood flowing from Towa’s back reminding him of an angel is likely where his angel fixation started. He stayed so fixated on it, and has it so linked with children in his mind, because of this traumatic experience. BUT HANG ON. I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ANGEL THING TOO BUT WE’RE NOT THERE YET.

Rumors/developing POCD:

So idk about the exact timeline, but since he was in college here and was a doctor when the rumors started iirc there was likely a time for at least a few years where this incident wasn’t really touched on again. So when the rumors DID come up, that’s definitely what lead to his POCD. I’d like to mention that I think that Asakura GENUINELY cares about children A LOT. He’s always shown being kind to them and going out of his way to help them, even despite his intrusive thoughts (we’ll get to Hayato later-), and that care for children is why he became a pediatrician in the first place. He was working as a pediatrician and dedicating his life to HELPING children, and then the rumors come around. I’d imagine before this he did still think of the Euphoria visit but was in denial that it was real. Like he said to Towa, he was so drunk that he doesn’t remember much of it and what he does remember he thought (or HOPED) was just a dream. But with this he has to revisit it and think, but what if it’s not? I think he was somewhat still in denial because when he talked to Towa about it in the true route he still said he thought it might have been a dream but. Either way he has to face that that’s a very real possibility now. AND I’d like to point out that with his foggy memory of the night, he’d think that there might be a possibility that he did something sexual to Towa instead of just cutting him, which had GOT to make him feel that much more disgusted with himself- Anyway, his attempts to devote his life to the heath and wellbeing of children shatter around him because everyone thinks he’s done something horrible to one- they’re scared to let him around their children because he might do something to them, so HE gets scared of that to. How does he know he’s NOT a pedophile? He can’t remember what really happened that night, he could be. And oh no, now he’s having sexual thoughts about children all the time so he MUST be right-? Of course, we know he isn’t, he has POCD. This is the obsession, he can’t stop worrying that he’s a pedophile. And the thoughts are intrusive thoughts brought on by it. He doesn’t like these thoughts, clearly. They make him distressed and frankly disgusted. He’s not a pedophile because a pedophile would enjoy thinking these things. But if you don’t know what POCD is it’s so scary to think these things and assume you must be a horrible person for it. Hell, I know even people who do know it’s POCD still have a horrible time with it because the disorder will do everything to convince you you really are a pedophile. And with Asakura hearing that everywhere, from inside his head and out, he can’t take it. He’ll deny it, he truly wants to believe he’s not because HOW COULD HE want to do something so horrible to a poor innocent child? But deep down he’s still convinced that he MUST BE, because why else would he constantly be thinking about it? I think Asakura naturally has very strong caring and parental instincts toward children. But with this it’s twisted to his own detriment. He’s feeling the anger and hatred toward himself that any parent would toward a pedophile. He has such a strong instinct to CARE FOR and PROTECT children… but he’s the danger. How does he protect them from himself? When his job requires him to constantly be around them, up close and touching them, every day. Honestly the fact that he was a fucking PEDIATRICIAN while having POCD is what absolutely convinces me of how much he was just slowly losing it for so long- because oh my god- it’s not like he can just avoid his triggers when he has to work closely with children every day. ESPECIALLY before he moved when all the parents were suspicious of him the whole time..?? Ouch. Poor guy. But he can’t just quit. Other than for job security this is also what he wants to do with his life. He wants to help children still, and he’ll push down these thoughts as much as he needs to to keep doing so. Besides, quitting because of it would mean it’s real.

Moving to Shinkoumi/angels:

So, he moves to Shinkoumi to escape the rumors and start fresh. It’ll get better if he’s not constantly surrounded by the rumors, he tells himself. But even before the rumors come back it doesn’t work. The thought are STILL there, always taunting him in the back of his mind. And he knows that as much as he tries to ignore it, he can’t. Deep down there’s still something wrong with him, his thoughts tell him. He’s disgusting, he’s sick, how could he think such vulgar things about such pure and vulnerable people as literal children?? So, eventually, he’s so convinced that he MUST be a pedophile, he’s accepted that fact and has turned to God, seeking forgiveness as the only way to be freed of his thoughts. Honestly I don’t know if he was doing this while on the mainland too or if this started in Shinkoumi but it DOESNT MATTER so I’m putting it here- he NEEDS to repent, because he’s a sinner. If he repents, he’ll be forgiven, and he’ll be freed, and the children will be safe. I DO think the safety of children is a priority here for him, and maybe the main priority he lets himself think about. But part of this IS selfish (not to say it’s selfish to want to be free from a mental illness of course, I just mean in the literal sense it’s for him), he’s so tired dealing with these thoughts all the time and he’s so tired of hating himself that he’s desperate for a way out of that. As much as he worries he will, Asakura doesn’t ever assault a child. He doesn’t even truly want to, as much as he thinks he might. So ASAKURA is the true victim of this. He’s CONSTANTLY filled with these thoughts that he can’t control, that distress him to no end. Part of him just wants to be freed from that for his own sake. But he hates himself to much for it to think he deserves salvation purely for his own sake. So. ANGELS. I genuinely believe his fixation with angels is so strong that it could be classified as a delusion. He’s convinced himself that if he can create an angel for himself, a pure, forgiving being, he’ll be freed. He’ll be good, the children will be safe, and he can REST for once in his life. What I think is interesting though, it when Towa asks if he’s religious he doesn’t say yes. He says, and forgive me this is paraphrased, but that he hopes that there’s some way of forgiveness. He has his doubts that any of this is even real but it’s his ONLY hope at this point so it HAS to be. And he associates angels his children specifically. I believe he is, subconsciously or not, trying to replace his view of children with something pure. Nothing like what his intrusive thoughts say, but something pure and holy and completely lacking anything sinful or sexual at all. And by creating an angel, creating that pure view of a child, he will repent and be freed of his sins (said sins being undiagnosed POCD-)

Hayato/angel surgery:

And now, we get to Hayato. A patient of Asakura’s, a child who he’s responsible for. A child who’s been abused and abandoned and starved of love, how could Asakura, being the person he is who truly cares about children despite it all, ever turn him away? He CARES so deeply, he can’t even consider abandoning him to when he’s the one person Hayato has. Despite the circumstances, he is the only person Hayato has right now and he is willing to do whatever it takes to be there for him, even when being around him constantly is like torture for him with the intrusive thoughts. BUT with the rumors starting to circulate again (and Towa constantly bugging him about it-) it’s getting harder than ever to ignore and he’s getting closer and closer to a breakdown. He’s desperate for ANYTHING to keep Hayato safe from himself. His intrusive thoughts get to the point where he GENUINELY thinks he’s going to assault him, and at the same time the angel delusion counteracts it. He gets more and more fixated on this idea that creating an angel will save him from his sins, and at this point he only sees two options. Assault Hayato, or make him into an angel to save him. Of course he HATES that he has to hurt him at all, but he sees this as the lesser of two evils that will hopefully make it so he never has to do something so horrible again. But still, he’s desperate for a way to be saved and still spare Hayato. Even though he’s “perfect” to be an angel. The angel delusion thoughts are directly counteracting the POCD thoughts, he’s overcompensating almost. Any child he was close with for long enough for his thoughts to fixate on would become the perfect angel in his mind I think. But his desperation leads him to contact Euphoria. The previous emails to Euphoria were also out of the same desperation to be saved. Euphoria grants desires, his desire is to create an angel and he’s desperate to do so because he thinks any day now he could snap and hurt a child- but anyway, the final email way more desperate of course because he literally had Hayato on the operating table- he was defensive with Towa at first of course, it’s his worst fear to be see as a pedophile, it goes against everything he stands for and yet he’s so scared that it could be true. But he’s willing to eventually reveal his true thoughts out of this desperation he feels for another option. So Towa does his thing and then the angel surgery begins. Asakura is just FULLY caught up in his delusion now, as he sews the wings into Towa, finally turning him into the angel he saw all those years ago. He’s finally creating an angel, finally repenting, finally free of his sins, and FINALLY he can stop hating himself for it every day. But… it doesn’t work like that, of course. And after the “euphoria” wears off, it hits him HARD what he’s done and he absolutely fucking loses it- I think they said he was just like sitting there horribly distressed in the hospital for who knows how long- what else can he do now? His ONLY HOPE didn’t work, it just proved that he’s a horrible person beyond redemption. BUT then he gets institutionalized and based on what he texts Towa later, he KNOWS he’s not sexually attracted to children now, which is a big step for him. I’d like to think he got diagnosed with POCD and got lots of therapy for it while he was in the psych ward. And the moral of the story is that true recovery from POCD doesn’t come from making people into angels, but from therapy. Wow. Who would have thought.

Anywaysss WOW I did his entire fucking character basically didn’t I-? This man has captured my heart, and more importantly he has captured my autism. It’s legitimately so painful being hyperfixated on him with so little content to survive off of sometimes so I wrote an entire character analysis thingy in one sitting- note that this is just my interpretation of him though and that although I have played Asakura’s chapter and I have done research on POCD, I wasn’t writing this as a formal analysis so I wasn’t referencing from them as I go to make sure I get everything 100% right. So apologies if I said something wrong. Also I don’t know if anyone even cares enough about Asakura to read this entire thing?? But if you did thank you I love you I hope you enjoyed hearing about my blorbo <3

[shima-draws]

My brain hitting me with a baseball bat: TODODEKU

Me: Oh my god…Tododeku…

[thegoddamnhat]

buddy daddies is so amazing because how can a show that has a relationship between two men (that can be interpreted in absolutely any way you wish because it's just so ambiguous and lovely) who've decided to co-parent a 4-year-old girl and they make mistakes but they also learn and heal from their pasts and grow and are a family not bound by blood but because they choose to be and they want to be by each other's sides be so good and just exist? i adore it deeply. it means so much to me and i hope we have a happy ending for these characters because they deserve it

[the-music-maniac]

SWEATERPAWWWWSSSSS- I'm mentally ill

[ghostlygeto]

currently missing kazuki in a way that is abnormal and unnatural.

[catlady5001]

i found someone to carry me home - we are young, fun.

for @starcloud-nova. inspired by that ask where you talked about kazuki and sachi sharing headphones! it gave me such a vivid mental image and i wanted to draw a little thing for you.