#katswc

[strsburn]

i think i better go

i think i better go

summary : peter parker is in love with the reader (female) but his insecurities get the best of him and fearing that the feelings arent reciprocated, he focuses his attention towards his mild crush on MJ. but is he really fooling anyone?

see also : "you still love them, I fucking know it"

genre : angst, fluff

pairings : Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

words : 1,018+

side notes : hi!! this idea was inspired by one of the angst prompts, hosted by the wonderful @/blissfulparker for her 5k writing prompt challenge

I do hope you enjoy this short piece and pls comment or reblog if you do. 💕

________________________________________

It was hard at first.

Watching Peter Parker and MJ be so in love. So in to one another as if no one else existed. 

The pain you felt as you had front row seats to your love being passed on to another. 

But as the days passed, and the weeks turned into five months, the pain was now a familiar dull sting in the back of your heart. But now as you watched MJ and Peter chat animatedly with each other, their eyes completely focused on one another, you wondered if the pain was ever really gone in the first place. 

You picked at your now cold lasagna, the sight of the doughy food making you sick to your stomach. 

"Y/N?" You glanced up only to meet the concerned eyes of your friends 

"Are you alright?" Ned asked carefully, almost as if he expected you to break at any given moment. 

You looked around, catching the eyes of Peter from across the table as he not so subtly watched you from the corner of his eye, causing MJ who was chatting with him, to turn. 

"I'm fine. Just not hungry." You dropped your fork, pushing your tray to Ned who thanked you happily as he helped himself. The cafeteria suddenly felt too stuffy and you hurry to grab your backpack making way for the exit. 

You didn't look back as the doors swung shut behind you and you felt your heart rate increases the longer you spent in school. 

As soon as you left the school you ran for your house, your chest constricting with every painful breath. 

You raced up the small steps of your home and ran to your room, the door closing shut behind you leaving you to comfort of your room.

________________________________________

Peter watched you leave, his eyes staring longingly at your figure as he wanted nothing more than to comfort you. To hold you in his arms. He tried to convince himself that he belonged with MJ. That they were meant for each other. But now he wasn't so sure. 

"-eter, Peter!" His eyes snapped back to his girlfriend who watched him carefully. 

"Sorry, uh what were you saying?" He asked sheepishly. 

"Meet me at my house today, five o clock. We need to talk." 

She didn't wait for a response as she stuck her nose back into her book and Peter was left sitting with a sick feeling in his gut. 

He had a feeling MJ didn't want to discuss the black dahlia case. 

_______________________________________

"You're still in love with her Peter, I fucking know it." 

Peter tensed at the accusation but did nothing to deny it as he watched MJ stand before him, her eyes both holding anger and hurt.. It was rare that MJ got upset, and it made him feel even worse that he caused her to get that way.  Her shoulders sagged a little in defeat when he didn't respond to her claims as she looked at him. 

"MJ I-" 

"Go." Peter shut his mouth in confusion at the look in MJ's eyes. 

"Go to her, Peter. Before it's too late." Peter stood up, reaching for her but MJ only shook her head, smiling softly.

"It's alright, Peter. I'll be fine." And she would. It would take some time, but MJ would be fine. With one last kiss, she watched as he left to find his happiness. His happiness that did not include her. 

For he was never really hers to begin with. 

________________________________________

You sat up at the frantic knocks at your door. Your parents had left a few minutes before, claiming that it had been a while since their last date night and you didn't have the heart to tell them you didn't feel like being home alone so with a smile you sent them on their way. 

It had been a few hours that you just laid in bed, dry tears staining your cheeks. You didn't expect anyone to visit you at nearly ten at night, so with caution you approached the front door, the knocks not ceasing.

You were more than surprised when you opened the door to see Peter stood there, his eyes red rimmed and determined. 

"Peter- what?" You mumbled confused. Peter quickly made his way inside, shutting the door behind you and locking it. 

He turned to you and walked closer until there was only an inch between the two of you. 

"Peter, why are you here? What's going on?" You looked down to avoid eye contact, hoping he wouldn't see the redness around your own eyes. As luck would have it, he did. 

"I'm sorry." He spoke. He slid his fingers between yours lifting your chin, so your eyes would meet his. 

"I'm sorry, that I waited so long to tell you this. I'm in love with you, Y/N. I have been for a very long time." The words brought a small spark of hope in you. But your mind flashes to MJ and you reluctantly took a step back from him. Slipping your hands from his. 

"What about MJ? ``I thought you loved her?" The simple word is enough to bring a tinge of pain in your heart. 

"I tried to. But she's not you. It has always been you." With that he gently brings his hands up to your cheeks and pulls you down to meet his lips. 

Your eyes close as you finally relax in his arms. All previous thoughts leave your mind as soon as you are connected, and you find yourself wondering what took the two of you so long.  

Peter traces the back of your neck with his fingers, his lips leaving kisses anywhere he can reach.

Wanting to feel him, you reach for his curly hair and pull, listening to the throaty groan he releases at the motion. 

When you both pull back, your lips making a small sound as you separate you can only feel happiness at being with the one you love. You rest your head on Peter's chest, to hear his heartbeat. 

You are finally where you belong. With him. 

[blushypetey]

the little bookstore! 𑁍 p.p

summary; it was maybe a beautiful book of its own working at a beautiful little bookstore with him.

warnings; little bit of angst

author’s note; this is for @blissfulparker writing challenge. this took way longer than expected i sadly lost inspo in the middle of it but i finished it! if there is errors please ignore . :( & this is a library au with petey!

word count: 1.2k

⠀ ━━₊˚.༄ he couldn’t stop his excitement, walking down the beautiful streets of queens, new york. peter parker was heading to his first official job at a local bookstore. it had a been a perfect day with each eager step he took closer to his destination. one of his favorites places actually just on the corner of a quite peaceful neighborhood. the bookstore had been around for a while and the owner had loved peter she was a lovely lady reason being why he gotten the job easily. you had been working at that library for a little over a month — you loved the job and you had just found out peter had applied and been accepted.

peter approached the bookstore — opening the doors with the scent of fresh coffee and pastries filling the air. he could hear the flipping of pages, the typing from the computers, and the register ringing up the books. this felt peaceful to him bringing him to sense of serene.

he picked up a book displaced on the floor then he was faced with you. you grabbed the book from his hands, “thanks peter i was bout' to pick that up. so are you ready for your first day.” you sweetly spoke excitedly.

once you placed the book back on the shelf you lead him to the storage room with the all books. you walked peter through everything making sure he understood it all perfectly. but most of the time he was at a loss of words being flustered around you. so sometimes you ran over things twice which wasn’t a problem.

he thought you were beautiful and every time you smiled or laughed his heartbeat would speed up. it never kept a steady beat when he was around you sometimes it was shallow but in other moments it felt as if it was about to burst.

you constantly tried to hide how nervous you were around peter looking at you feet or fidgeting with your hands. you thought peter parker was adorable he had beautiful chestnut locks that came down perfectly to frame his face when he laughed. one thing you specifically noticed were his freckles and how beautiful they were. you found yourself constantly getting lost in his freckles like they were stars meeting to make perfect constellations.

finishing up, meeting with the owner of the store she was happy to see the you two working together. she picked up a stack of books and placed them on the table you quickly started organizing them. your shift was about to end with peter and you offered help before you left.

“do you need anymore help after this?”

“no it's okay dear you can head out with you friend after this,” she insisted.

“thank you. i’ll go get peter when i’m done he's restocking in the back.”

“how is it going?” she questioned.

“great! i mean it's pretty easy around here i’m pretty sure peter likes the job too.” you answed.

she beamed and saw peter walking towards you, “well you two can go now have a lovely night,” she responded before getting ready to leave.

you placed the last book on the shelf and started closing up. you left with peter walking down the street it was quite between the two of you. the only sounds were coming from the cars passing by and your footsteps. you were nervous you kept thinking about him. the sun was no longer beaming slowly setting the wind nipped at your skin leaving a rose complexion across your cheeks. peter looked at you giggling making you confused.

“your cheeks are pink,” he shyly mumbled.

your eyes meet smiling — his eyes were beautiful like pools of honey with beautiful golden specks. tilting your head, “is it bad?” you asked giggling. peter had a surprised look on his face, “n- no, it’s adorable,” he emitted embarrassedly.

leaving you with more a rosy complexion blossoming across both of your cheeks. the both of you continued walking to the train since you both went to the same one. taking a seat when arrived you started rambling about your favorite books. it was a common thing and it was one peter’s favorite things to hear you ramble.

most of the time you guys only talked while at the bookstore and now that he worked there you knew it would be more common. which made you extremely happy because it gave you a chance to spend more time with him. but it had always made you nervous knowing you would spent a lot of time with him that your feeling towards him would grow.

━━

the bell ringed turning your head you were meet with peter. you had both been working at the bookstore for a few months now — your feelings have immensely grown in the past few months. they completly blossomed beautifully like flowers a complete flower field grown right at your heart. for peter there was butterflies constantly fluttering in peter’s stomach when you were around. and when your hands would brush with his they would start flying.

the both of you did everything together and constantly gave each other book recommendations. you sat by him during lunch you quickly pulled out your next book for peter to read.

“here you go pete.” you softly spoke handing him the book.

he thanked you taking the book in his hand looking through the pages. he was excited to start it, “thank you so much.”

“you’re welcome.” you beamed tilting your head.

the day went on and it felt as if each day your feelings kept on getting stronger for him. sometimes you would bring up that the two of you should hang out outside of work or school but peter would always turn down the offer. it made you feel a bit sad that maybe he didn’t want to spend time with you but he always said it was his internship so you didn’t want to get upset over that.

“um peter?” you softly spoke up.

“yeah?” he’d furrow his eyebrows.

fumbling with your fingers between you hands, “i was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend,” you mumbled.

he wanted to say yes but he constantly just freaked out and said he was busy. it’s not that he didn’t want to it’s just he was too nervous. he felt super bad lying, “maybe next weekend i’m sorry. i’m super busy.” he frowned.

“yeah of course,” you sadly mumbled.

you tried hiding your sadness and started walking away back to the register. you didn’t want to cry but it was felt that that peter didn’t like you. you tried avoiding peter the rest of the week while working and he noticed.

the rest of the week wasn’t as eventful without you. you guys always shelved together, brought each other snacks, and joked around. it was boring by himself and he missed you. he wanted to fix it more than anything so he tried talking to you but it didn’t work much. until he finally got an idea a few days later.

peter was quite that day you didn’t do much but register while peter shelved. you wanted to talk to peter but you were scared that maybe he would be mad because you weren’t talking to him. you tried meeting him when you’re shift was over but he was gone.

you decided to start closing maybe tomorrow you thought but then you saw one last book on the counter. it had a note on it with messy hand writing — it was peter’s.

⠀⠀ here’s a book for you. :) would you like to meet up when you finish it? maybe a date ♡

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀— peter

you quickly walked out with the book in your hand having the biggest smile. then you saw him walking not to far away — quickly you ran up to him pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“i’d love too.”

[blissfulparker]

So recently I’ve hit 5k and it’s s huge milestone for me and I wanted to do something big so I’m hosting my very first writing challenge and a big sleepover!(it sounds like a lot but I want to try and do it for you guys!)

So, here are the rules!♡

-you don’t have to be following me but it would be nice

-must like or reblog post

-send an ask to get the prompt/au you want(only 2 to a prompt, 3 to an au, and 2 to a type of kiss)

-if you want to write smut your characters must be over 18!

-if you’d like an AU that’s not on the list or you want to make your own prompt just send me an ask and I will most likely let you do it!

-tag your work with #katswc

-here’s who you can write for: Tom holland, Harrison osterfield, peter Parker, MJ, zendaya, Laura Harrier, ANY MCU CHARACTERS

Prompt list:

Fluff

“I don’t know if I should be mad at you for stealing my favorite sweater or not.” ( @stiles-o-Dylan24 with Bucky Barnes) 1/2

“Here, hold my hands they’re warm.” ( @mymoontom w/ tom holland) 1/2

“I got sad and made some cookies.”

“Am I your lockscreen?” ( @nicole-Lynne with peter Parker) 1/2

“Can I listen to your heartbeat?” ( @hollandfic with peter Parker) 1/2

“I just need you and a bath.”

“Is that a dog?” “No!” (@ Aussie-holland with tom holland) 1/2

“I can’t sleep so I came by to see if you’re still awake” ( @sincerelyfan w/ peter Parker) 1/2

“I got you flowers to take your mind off of things, hope you’re not allergic.”

“Every time you get a problem right, I’ll give you a kiss.” ( @pltythebackseat w/ peter Parker) 1/2

“I’ll go only if you come with.”

“We should just forget about all this and get frozen yogurt.”

“That’s so sweet but I’m a vegetarian.”

“Wait I’m scared! Come with me!” (@ravenclawmarvel w/ peter Parker) 1/2

“Can I play with your hair? It’ll calm me down.” ( @keepmeholland w/ Bucky Barnes) 1/2

“I tried to cook for you but now everything is burnt.”

“You smell like cinnamon rolls.”

Angst:

“If you walk out that door don’t expect to let me back in.”

“If you actually cared you’d start paying attention!”

“We can’t live like this.”

“All I wanted was you but i guess that was too much to ask.”

“You’re hurting can’t you see?” ( @vloggerparker w/ peter Parker) 1/2

“Everything I’ve done was for you and now I’m realizing it was just a waste of time.”

“We can’t keep living this fucking lie! You can’t keep living this fucking lie.”

“You never were protected me, you were hurting me and being selfish.”

“I wish you loved me like you loved them.”

“I can’t love you like this, I’m sorry.” ( @scholarlyspidey w/ tom holland) ( @starsholland w/ tom holland) 2/2

“There’s a line between bending the truth then Fucking lying.”

“I wish it wasn’t you but it is, and I’m so sorry.” (@somethingtoavenge w/ peter Parker) 1/2

“You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me.” ( @afterglowparker with peter parker) 1/2

“I hate when you make me cry.” “Trust me, I hate it more.”

“You still love them, I fucking know it.”

Smut:

“How do I get this off?”

“We have 10 minuets but I can be done in 5.”

“Do you have any idea what that does to me?”

“Careful with your next move, there’s people around.”

“Do you think they can hear?” “Let them hear.” ( @hannie-writes-marvel with tom) 1/2

“Go change, I can’t handle a whole night with you looking like that and me not being able to touch you.”

“It’s been almost a month, I’m not leaving this bed and neither are you.”

“Fuck, I almost forgot how good you look in that.”

“There are about 15 cameras on us, so no touching.”

“Is this your first time?” “Yes.”

“I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

AUs:

Bodygaurd!au ( @gwens-spiders with tom holland) 1/3

Mob!au

Gamer!au( @elizabethbailyholland w/ peter Parker) 1/3

Doctor!au

Ceo!au

Angel/demon!Au

Dad!au

Bookstore!au ( @cloudyyparker with peter Parker) 1/3

Coffee shop!au ( @foreverstuckwritingandimagining w/ tom holland) 1/3

Enemies to lovers!au

Frat boy/girl!Au

Fake dating!au

Boxer!au

Dancer!au

Singlemom/dad!au

Royal!au

Types of kisses:

On the top of the head kiss

Ice cream on their lips kiss

I miss you kiss

Goodbye kiss

Morning kiss

Goodnight kiss

First kiss- ( @im-the-galactic-starfish w/ MJ) 1/2

Last kiss- @stuckonspidey with tom holland)1/2

Kiss when they’re not expecting it

Kiss that just missed the lips

Surprise kiss

Passionate kiss that ends with I love you

I’m sorry kiss

Forbidden kiss

“7 minuets in heaven” kiss ( @marvelsangel with peter) ( @the-inconsistent-writer-fangirl with tom holland) 2/2

Angery kiss

Remember to have fun with this! This is all just for fun and at the end I will make a masterlist with all your works on it! Make sure you tag your work with the tag so I can see it or send an ask saying how you’ve completed the work!

This will end on September 1st!

Tagging some mutual and people I adore on this site!

@loverholland @tominhoodies @naturallytom @hollandroos @quitetommy @toms-gf @toms-order @hillsnholland @cloudyyparker @parkerspicedlatte @parkeret @peachyhollands @spiderboytotherescue @spidey-starks @darlingtholland @scftholland @retroparkers @retroparker @webbedwonders @popculture-parker @gracefulspidey @madmadmilk @stuckonspidey @keepmeholland @parkerchurro @starksparker @starkravingparker @plushparker @softscottlang @pluckypeterparker @cutesparker @mcuspidey @curlytoms @mymoontom @lovelyh0lland @screamholland @venusparker @virgoparker @positiveparker @poetrypeter @star-holland @starboyholland @venusbarnes @nyc-parker @ilcveyou3000 @vloggerparker @spiderkat1248 @afterglowparker

[vloggerparker]

twelve months || p.p

↬ pairing(s): Peter Parker x adopted Stark!reader

↬ genre/warnings: angst/comfort fic, PTSD, anxiety & depression, mentions of death, post Endgame (that’s a warning in itself tbh)

↬ word count: 1.3k

↬ synopsis: twelve months have passed since Earth lost her best defender, and it hits some harder than others.

↬ a/n: this is my piece for @blissfulparker’s writing challenge w the prompt “You’re hurting can’t you see?” & again, congrats on 5K bb!! <3 also, I’m a noob idk how to put a ‘read more’ option on mobile sorry (edit: I wrote this before ffh came out so idk what tf I’m taking about)

Twelve months. Already it’s been a year living in a world without Tony Stark.

An arrangement was made where you lived with Aunt May during the fall, winter, and spring so you could attend school with Peter and Ned. During the off-season you lived with Pepper and Morgan, but during the year you visited at least twice a month. The visits were always short, and nobody but Morgan had the fight in them to complain.

Being obsessively grateful had become the new trend.

It was a month after Tony’s death when Peter was professionally diagnosed with survivor’s trauma, a subtype of PTSD accompanied by anxiety and acute depression. His symptoms had appeared only a day after Thanos’ defeat. Peter confessed his feelings to Aunt May after one specific night where his nightmare had been so horrific it woke you up out of your sleep and you had to coddle him while he cried into your shirt.

Five months after that Peter mostly recovered. His daily scheduled appointments with his therapist became weekly, and eventually he assured everybody he didn’t need them anymore. We all believed him, and rightfully so. Peter was at peace.

It was around that same time that Peter started to tag along on your monthly visits to see Pepper and Morgan. You, Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey would catch up, seek comfort in one another while Peter and Morgan would swap the best stories about Iron Man. Harley came around sometimes, too, sharing his own tales about the Mechanic.

Even after Peter’s recovery, Ned wasn’t enthusiastic about Spider-Man anymore. You didn’t undergo the same therapy and depressive episodes like Peter had, and still Ned didn’t probe you for details. He wasn’t as enthusiastic as he used to be about superheroes. Nobody mentioned it.

Flash didn’t join the dusted the five years ago when Thanos first snapped his fingers. He graduated at the top of his class and got accepted into one of the best colleges in the country. The week you Peter and Ned returned back to school after things had settled, Flash paid Midtown a visit. The five years had done his personality justice. Flash apologized for his bullying that he claimed manifested from underlying jealousy, and offered his condolences. You all accepted it and moved on.

Seven months after Tony’s death and things began to change. You and Peter spent time alone, but now you did it with each other. The patches in your relationship were being sewn back together, each stitch binding strong. You held hands, shared beds, your hugs were longer. Your kisses were short and sweet, and other times they were needy and passionate. Aunt May loved the idea of you two being together, there for one another in a way she couldn’t be, but she never pushed it onto you guys, and you loved that about her.

Twelve months. Already a year has come and gone living behind a mask crafted of lies. You’re not okay. A year has passed and the absence of Tony Stark in your life is crippling. Your strong front was waning.

“Your lies aren’t working anymore,” Peter says softly from next to you in bed. He knows you’re not asleep yet, but you give him silence in reply. He continues anyway. “I hear you up at night because you can’t sleep, and I know when we visit Pepper and you leave the room it’s to go sit in his shop.”

You can already feel the muscles in your chest tighten at his words, the urge to cry amplifying. You swallowed back the lump in your throat and pulled the blanket up to your chin. “Please, don’t worry about me, you need your peace of mind.��� you tell him as you force your eyes shut.

“And you don’t?” he quipped, and a bright light shines behind your eyelids as he switches a lamp on. “You’re hurting can’t you see? You haven’t even cried. Not since that day.”

You open your eyes and turn over in the bed to face him. You can tell he’s trying not to cry, trying to give you the opportunity to be the vulnerable one.

“Hey, talk to me.” his voice is soft and low, yet demanding. “Are you okay?”

There’s no worse question to ask a person when something’s gone completely sideways in their life than if they’re okay.

Tony was more than a teammate, a co-worker, or a friend and Peter knew this. You found a home in Tony, and without him it’s like the walls have come crashing down and the floors have caved in on you. The act of pretending like he didn’t leave and take the best part of you with him was draining.

You sat up in the bed, eyes narrowed to slits as you asked him, “can you be okay in this situation?”

He’s entirely stunned by the forward response, and at an utter loss of words.

“It never stops hurting. You never get used to the pain, you just make room for it. It will never be okay.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak, but ultimately decides against it. You give him another chance to say something, anything, and still he stares in silence.

You laid back down in the bed, your back to him. “Good night, Peter.”

“No, we’re going to talk about this.” he protested, a real bitterness in his tone that drove you up the wall.

In a fraction of a second you’re sat up in the bed on your knees. “What is there to talk about?!” you wailed, gesticulating wildly. There was no thought given to how it was well past one in the morning, or that May was sound asleep just down the hall. There was no thought at all, and the words that sounded out were nothing but raw emotion. “Bad things happen! You can’t change and you can’t predict them!”

“You’re right, you can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it!” he yelled just as loud, now standing bedside.

“Learn that in therapy?” you retorted, and regretted it the instant the words left your mouth. You dropped your head in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Peter sighed sadly. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” you shook your head, “I don’t care how angry I am, I never want to use that against you. I’m sorry for being unreasonable. You’re just trying to help.”

“I am,” he agreed, sitting halfway on the bed beside you. “I just hate seeing you so miserable. You’re good at hiding it, and it took me awhile to see it past my own hurt, but I know you. You’re unhappy.”

The hurt becomes more evident on your face throughout Peter’s consoling until your eyes are glimmering with watery tears. You swipe them away, but they return instantly, and it’s so out of character for you to be crying that you don’t know how to control or stop it. His eyes soften for a moment as he watches you, and he can’t stop himself from visibly frowning.

Peter grabbed your wrists allowing unchecked tears to slide down your cheeks and dribble off your chin. “Hey,” he said softly, calmingly, “you know, over time you start to realize it’s okay to admit things aren’t okay. Your feelings are valid; you don’t always have to be the strong one.”

And just like that the floodgates opened. The cries were hysterical, sobs only being interrupted by the need for breath. Emotional pain seeped from every pore as tears burst forth like water from a dam.

Peter engulfed you in his arms as he said, “I want us to take steps so that you don’t feel like you have to isolate your feelings. The last thing I want is for you to feel like you can’t talk to me.” he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, coddling you like you’d done for him all those months ago.

Twelve months. Already it’s been a year living in a world without Tony Stark. Peter’s comforting embrace as you cried into his shirt granted you freedom of the pain, and for the first time in twelve months you didn’t feel completely alone.

“I’m right here, and you don’t need to hurt when I’m here.”

↬ a/n: uhhh follow me for more LMAO reblogging/commenting is super encouraging!! & check out my masterlist to see if there’s anything there you like!!

[dlwritings]

Agent of Hydra | Peter Parker

masterlist found here

pairing - Peter x Hydra!reader word count - 2,283 warnings - I guess there’s a Season 1 Agent of SHIELD spoiler A/N - this is for @blissfulparker‘s 5K Writing Challenge! | prompt:  “I wish it wasn’t you but it is, and I’m so sorry.” | I’m pretty proud of this but for some reason I feel like it won’t be very popular lol

summary - (Y/N) isn’t proud of her background and the reputation her last name gives her. When her first mission comes and it involves her best friend, she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Is she on the side of her dad, or the side of heroes?

As Shakespeare once wrote, “Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

If that statement was true, then the reverse must also be true. Some people are born evil, some achieve evil, and some have evil thrust upon them.

I was a combination of the first and last.

My dad was John Garrett. Known under many aliases, including Deathlok and the Clairvoyant, he was a powerful member of Hydra. I was raised hearing his two twisted mottos:

First, You can’t ever get attached to anyone or anything. You have to fight that weakness inside you.

And second, Don’t trust anyone, ever. Especially me.

For most of my life, I just went along with it. My dad was evil, so I felt like I was born evil. The evil was thrust upon me. I wasn’t given a choice between one side or the other. Growing up, I didn’t know any better anyway. I agreed with the things my dad told me because it was the only thing I heard. Hydra was superior. SHIELD were the wrong ones. I had no reason to ever question him. For my whole life, I proudly hailed Hydra.

When I entered high school, things changed. I changed. I was more exposed to other opinions and so many good people who believed in good. Believed in SHIELD. Believed in heroes. At Midtown High, I became friends with Peter, Ned, and MJ. It made everything in my life so confusing. I started to question the exact principles I was raised on. My friends stood for everything my dad was against. Everything I was raised to be against. Especially Peter. Peter was all about the Avengers. He spoke so earnestly about what they stood for that, soon enough, I started to believe in them too.

And then, I did the really stupid thing, and I fell in love with Peter. Peter who my dad would despise. Peter who worshiped SHIELD and stood for everything good. Peter who I knew was Spider-Man.

Peter, Peter, Peter.

Just like that, the first of my father’s mottos was ignored.

You can’t ever get attached to anyone or anything.

I loved my friends more than anything. I couldn’t imagine my teenage years without them. I was attached. If anything happened to them, I had no idea what I would do. That’s why I hated every mission that pinned Hydra against the Avengers. It put Peter in immediate danger, but I couldn’t say anything to anybody about it. I couldn’t warn Peter of Hydra’s plans, because it would make Peter see who I really was. That was an identity I was trying so hard to hide from him. But I couldn’t ask my dad to ease up on the heroes, because that would show my weakness. The weakness I was supposed to fight.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

When I turned 16, my dad decided it was time for me to suit up and join the team. His team. Hydra. My worst nightmare was coming true. Deep down, I always knew the day would come, but I had delusionally told myself that it wouldn’t. I had to pretend I had been waiting for the day, when in reality I had been dreading it.

I had heard the stories of recruits from days’ past. I knew Grant Ward. I knew about his life and all of the events that lead up to his initiation. I knew the aftermath of his recruitment, how he dropped Fitz and Simmons -two respected agents of SHIELD- in the bottom of the ocean. I knew. I knew about it all. And I knew my dad expected me to turn out the same. He expected me to kill the things I was attached to. To get rid of my weaknesses.

But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it, because I wasn’t Ward. I wasn’t evil. I couldn’t look my dog in the eyes and kill it. That was it. That was the initiation. Kill the thing I loved. So, when my dad left me in the middle of the woods with Sparky -the dog I grew up with- and a gun, I shot a bullet into the air and let my dog run free. What my dad didn’t know didn’t hurt.

Still, this meant I was Hydra now. I was a part of it all. A part of all the evil. The worst thing was not having any friends to confide in. The night of my initiation, I had to cry myself to sleep with the guilt of being evil weighing on my chest. Alone.

The next day, I was in my first Hydra mission meeting. I sat around the table with people I knew by name from hearing endless praise from my dad. My dad sat at the head, giving a rundown of the mission. With our intel at SHIELD, I knew all of the insider details. This also meant I knew that the Avengers were on a mission to destroy all of Hydra’s bases. In order to beat them to the punch, Hydra’s mission was to find, corner, and destroy each of the Avengers. They were stronger together, so taking them down one by one rather than as a unit was their strategy.

“(Y/N),” Dad said, getting my attention. I had been zoning out, staring at my hands and twirling my pen between my fingers. “Your target is-” He paused and flicked through some of his papers. “-Spider-Man.” I took in a sharp breath that made everyone turn to look at me. Dad raised his eyebrows. “Is that a problem?” he asked.

“I just,” I stuttered through my words, “I’m doing it alone?”

“Our sources say Spider-Man is a low threat,” he explained. “This should be a simple task for you to handle independently.” He looked at me sternly. “Is that a problem?” I clenched my jaw and shook my head no.

“No sir,” I said. “That won’t be a problem.” My father gave me a short nod and handed me his packet on Spider-Man. I flicked through it, feeling numb and tuning out the rest of the meeting. Hydra knew Peter was Spider-Man because SHIELD knew, and SHIELD knew because the Avengers knew. I stared at all the information on Peter. Where he lived. Where he went to school. His family. His usual evening routine.

It all made me sick.

How was I supposed to do this? Capture -and kill?- my best friend, or become my father’s enemy. Sure, my dad was evil, but he was still my dad. He would still love me even if I didn’t want to be Hydra, right? Still, I couldn’t help but consider the worst case scenario. Would he kill me if I went against his beliefs and stood firm in my own? I knew better than to underestimate him.

The next night, I suited up and crept out of the Hydra facility. At that time of night -10:00- Peter would be swinging around Queens on patrol. I had a loose version of a plan, and every part of it involved betraying my best friend.

I hid in the shadows of one of the alleys I knew Peter frequently passed. When I found out he was Spider-Man, he took me on his patrol route just for fun. I loved swinging the New York skies with him. At the exact time I expected him, Peter swung down from the sky and landed in the alley. His eyes scanned the darkness, unable to find me in my stealth suit. So, the minute he walked by, I knocked him unconscious before he could see me.

Every member of Hydra had their own designated area to complete their mission that night. That way, each member’s task of kidnapping, torturing, and killing (if necessary) could be done independently and without the watchful eyes of other members of Hydra. Because Hydra also lived by my dad’s second motto: don’t trust anyone. To Hydra, that included each other.

When I got to my location, I stripped Peter of his suit and tied him to a chair. I cringed the entire time, realizing that it all looked far more sexual than I intended it to. But I knew what Peter’s suit could do, and leaving him in it would give me a definite disadvantage.

I stayed behind Peter, not wanting him to see my face as soon as he came to. When he did, he lifted his head slowly and turned his head to the side, then tugged on his restraints. Even his super strength wouldn’t be able to get him out of his bondage. I had made sure of it. “Show yourself!” Peter shouted. I felt my lower lip quiver as his movements to escape became rougher. I knew what my next step was. I just hated it. This was my least favorite part of the mission I had planned.

I slowly stepped in front of Peter, hoping I looked more confident than I felt. “(Y/N)?” Peter asked. His eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes full of confusion. “What’s going on? What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m sorry,” I said. My voice cracked horribly. “I’m so sorry.”

“(Y/N) please,” Peter begged. “Tell me what you’re doing.” I cleared my throat. I didn’t know how to tell him. How do you tell your best friend that you’re part of an organization created by Nazis?

“Peter, I’m Hydra.”

Okay. There were probably better ways to say that.

Peter laughed. He actually laughed, tossing his head back and screwing his eyes shut. When he finally caught his breath, he looked at me again. As soon as he saw I wasn’t returning his smile, his face dropped. “What do you mean?” he asked. “You’re joking, right? You can’t actually be Hydra.”

Peter finally studied my outfit more. When he noticed the Hydra patch on my shoulder, he took in a sharp breath. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “No. This isn’t real. I’m dreaming. You’re not Hydra.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. Tears were coming to my eyes now. “It’s my dad. I don’t, I don’t want to be. You have to know that.”

“So why the hell are you doing this?” he asked. His voice cracked as tears came to his eyes as well.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” I said. “I can’t. If I defied him, I don’t know what he’d do.”

“Okay, so why am I here?” he asked, tugging at his restraints again.

“We’ve all been assigned a target,” I said. Tears were streaming down my face, but I couldn’t look away from Peter. I knew I had to look him in the eyes while I said this. I owed him that much. Peter’s eyes grew wide, and his lips parted.

“M-Me?” he stuttered.

“I wish it wasn’t you,” I said, “but it is, and I’m so sorry.”

“So what are you going to do?” he asked. He wasn’t hurt anymore. He was mad. “Kill me? Torture me?”

“I’m just supposed to hold you here,” I said. “I have to get information out of you about, about your plan to take down the Hydra bases.”

“And if I don’t tell you?” he said. I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

“Please don’t make me say it,” I said.

“Do it,” Peter almost shouted. “Fucking kill me! Because I’m not telling you anything!”

“You think I want to do this?” I yelled, throwing my arms in the air. “I’m telling you, you don’t understand what it’s like being a part of this!”

“Then explain it to me!”

“If I don’t do this, I think my dad will kill me!”

Silence rang throughout the room. Peter’s original look of anger softened and was replaced by pity. I almost preferred the anger. If there was one emotion I hated, it was pity. That was probably my dad’s influence on me. “Jesus Christ, (Y/N),” he said. “Why haven’t you ever told me?”

“Because SHIELD is everything to you,” I said. “They’re everything good, and I’m like a glorified Nazi!”

“Yeah but not by choice,” Peter said. “You’re good in your heart. I know that.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I said, my voice dropping.

“I do,” he said. “You’re going to untie me, and I’m going to take you to the compound. They’ll keep you safe.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy,” I whispered, hanging your head.

“I promise you, it is,” he said. “This is your chance to turn it all around. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” I met my eyes with his and saw the sincerity in them. Another tear fell from my eyes as I walked up to him and undid his restraints. With no hesitation, Peter wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I cried softly into his shoulder, and Peter let me with no complaint. Finally, we pulled away from each other, and Peter tugged his suit back on. For the first time in my life, I felt good. I wasn’t Ward. And I wasn’t my dad. I was me. And I believed in heroes.

Peter and I headed towards the doors of the building we were in. I felt invincible. Peter filled me with hope.

As soon as I opened the door to head outside, I came face to face with my father. I jumped and put my arm in front of Peter protectively. Dad sighed and shook his head, disappointment written all over his face.

“I knew I saw a weakness in you.”

Don’t trust anyone, ever. Especially me.

[nicole-lynne]

Lockscreen Tells All

Summary: Peter gets a glimpse of how you see him through the lens and it opens up how you both truly feel. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

This is a part of @blissfulparker‘s writing challenge to celebrate 5k! 

The bell rang and the class around you transformed from dutiful students to heathens fighting to get out the door first. Patiently, you and your best friend MJ waited for the rest of your classmates to leave before gathering your belongings.

“Are you still cool with sleeping over this weekend, Y/N?” MJ asked as you two walked up to your side-by-side lockers.

“Absolutely! I’ve been so busy lately. It’s like all of the school events happen in the last month of school. Principal Morita has had me booked solid taking pictures.” You were shoving books in your locker aimlessly as tiredness was settling in your bones.

MJ slammed her locker and looked at you with excitement. “Well we’re not going to worry about that this weekend. We’re going to stock up on junk food, the guys are going to come over, and forget all about anything school related!”

Your heart picked up slightly at the thought of seeing Peter tonight. You hadn’t seen him all day so it made you even more excited. But you kept your face devoid of emotion in order to keep your crush on Peter Parker to yourself. You hadn’t told MJ and you weren’t planning on letting it slip in the school hallway.

MJ didn’t seem to notice your change in demeanor, instead she snatched your hand and shook it, squealing with you for a minute. Then she stopped and looked around, making sure no one had seen her. You giggled energetically and tangled your arm with hers.

“Let’s go, you dork!”

~~~

The windows were wide open to let the breeze flow through the room and MJ had the music cranked to an ungodly level. The two of you had changed into your pajamas and were dancing around the room, a thin layer of sweat on your skin.

It felt amazing to escape the strain of your current lifestyle even for just a few hours. MJ had forced you to promise that you wouldn’t use your camera for anything professional for the whole weekend and it hadn’t taken much to accept that stipulation.

Knock knock. MJ was lost in the music so you swayed your way to the front door, half expecting the pizza delivery boy. You swung the door open and froze in your spot as you came face to face with chocolate brown eyes, messy curls, and perfectly pouty lips. He looked adorable in a Stark Industries t-shirt that fit him wonderfully.

Instinctively, you reached up to tame your hair that had tangled into a hornets nest during your dance session. It was evident that it was a lost cause so you diverted to straightening your tank top and shorts instead.

Peter watched you with fascination and your stomach was erupting with butterflies as his gaze traveled along your face. Ned kept looking back and forth between the two of you, unaware of what was going on.

“Hi, Y/N. What have you and MJ been up too?” Ned broke in at last.

You turned your focus to Ned, remembering that he was here too. “Hey, Ned. Um, just been listening to some music while we waited for the pizza.” You gave Peter a small smile. “I got extra pepperoni for you.” 

“Ah, awesome! Thanks, Y/N/N, you’re the best.” Peter exclaimed and you beamed from being praised.

The boys crowded their way into the living room and plopped down onto the couch in their usual places. Trying to act as casual as possible, you sank into the place right next to Peter and tucked your feet under you. It was impossible to ignore that his hand was just inches from your knee. One little bump and his long fingers could be on your skin.

“What movie do you guys want to start with?” MJ asked from the floor, her body turned just enough to acknowledge the group.

Ned bounced slightly, “Let’s watch a scary movie!”

The rest of the group agreed easily but you groaned loudly. “Not another scary movie, you guys. I’ll be up all night.”

Peter leaned over, his shoulder bumping into yours. You were hyper-sensitive to the feeling of his shoulder against yours. “I promise I won’t let anything get you. You can hold my hand if you get scared.”

Goosebumps speckled your skin in an instant. He was watching you with that comforting gaze that always made you feel protected. You slowly nodded and his eyes glistened with delight. You bit your lip nervously, dying to press your mouth to his, instead you fell backwards against the fluffy pillow beside you.

Another knock at the door interrupted the chatter and MJ jumped up to answer it.

“Someone get the drinks, I’ll get the pizza.” She called as she ran out of the room. You moved to get up at the same time as Peter.

“I’ll help you get everything.” He offered when you gave him a weird look. A small flutter went through your body as he motioned for you to lead the way.

Your head was buried in the fridge when you recognized the faint tune of your cell alarm. You glanced around to see it lying on the kitchen counter.

“Can you get that, Pete? It’s probably just my alarm.” And you returned to pulling out different sodas from the rack.

“Sure, no problem...” His voice trailed off.

Silence hung over the room like a blanket and you looked up to find him staring at your phone screen. “Um, are you okay? Pete?”

“Am I your lockscreen?”

You swallowed thickly. It had completely slipped your mind that you had made him your lock screen a few weeks ago. You had been on your way to take pictures for the Robotics Competition when you had seen him in the hallway talking to a classmate. He just looked so happy and free that you couldn’t stop yourself from capturing the moment.

Now, he was standing in front of you, barely more than a step away, waiting for an answer. You wondered if he could hear the blood rushing in your ears or the thudding of your heart inside your chest.

“Um. Well, yes. I just love the picture and I like to have things I like for my wallpaper...” Your feet had suddenly become more interesting to you in the last 15 seconds.

“And you like me?” His voice was soft.

All you could do was nod like a child who was scared to be scolded.

You were surprised by a hand tilting your chin up, and you lifted your eyes to meet his. Shivers were running down your spine as Peter smiled sweetly down at you. He leaned forward, his nose brushing against yours, and your breath was caught in your throat. Was this really happening?

He hesitated in that spot, “I like you too.” Lips rubbing against each other as he said the words.

You lost all sensibility in that moment. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him the rest of the way. He made a little oof of surprise and placed his hands on your waist instantaneously.

You and Peter were pushing and pulling against each other like fuel to a fire. His hands were pressed to the low spot of your back and you were playing with the small curls at the base of his neck. His lips felt calming and electric as they moved against yours.

Peter had turned and pinned you against the counter, deepening the kiss, and the thumping of his heart was echoing in your chest. His body was flush against yours and the heat was rushing to your head. The primal instinct within you was dying to keep going, unrelenting to let Peter out of your grasp. But the practical side of you was telling you that this was only your first kiss. The first of many, you hoped.

The need for air overtook the need for passion and you broke away. Peter was panting heavily, his breath washing over you. Without thinking, you stood on your tiptoes and pulled his lower lip in between your teeth and then let it snap back. Peter groaned and rested his forehead against yours.

“You are so beautiful. God, I could kiss you all night.” The words were husky with adoration.

You giggled like a schoolgirl and rubbed your nose against his. “I think MJ and Ned might think something was up.”

Peter’s eyes flicked to the doorway and laughed an airy laugh. “I think they may already know.”

You turned your head quickly to see MJ and Ned standing in the doorway, knowing smirks on their face. A blush tipped your cheeks and you tucked in closer to Peter’s body, your cheek placed against his neck.

“You owe me five bucks, Ned.” MJ held her hand and Ned grumbled as he dug around in his pockets.

“Ah man, you two couldn’t have waited two more weeks. I needed that.” Ned hung his head and headed back into the living room. MJ shot you an annoyingly smug grin and disappeared to follow Ned.

Peter squeezed his arms around you and you melted into his touch. “Ya know, I really like that picture you took of me. You’re so freakin talented.”

You smiled against his neck. “Thanks, Pete. But it’s just a hobby, nothing special.”

“Trust me when I say, everything about you is special. And I hope I’m allowed to show you every day just how special you are to me.” He looked down at you, his chocolate brown were tinted with want. You could tell that he was nervous to be this open with someone.

You bent forward and kissed his lips sweetly. “Only if I get to do the same thing for you, Peter Parker.”

Peter embraced you tightly and lifted you off your feet and you could feel his face pressed into your hair. Your heart was soaring with excitement. The last thing you had expected from this weekend was catching the guy you’d been pining after for so long. It was an amazing feeling.

Finally, Peter reluctantly put you down but held your hand up against his heart. “I’ll be your lockscreen for as long as you’ll have me.”

“COME ON, YOU LOVEBIRDS.” You both burst out laughing as MJ screamed from the living room, snapping you out of your trance. You locked your hand with Peter and started gathering the sodas for your friends.

“You promised I could hold your hand if I got scared, right?” You quipped and Peter’s grin told you all you needed to know.

[xelizabethvalentinex]

Kisses Make Everything Better // Peter Parker

Summary: Peter planned on spending his night alone, playing video games with Ned over the television, but the surprise made his night even better.

Warnings: fluff

*Gif credit to @peteparkrrs*

As you walked back to you dorm, you could see through the window that no lights were on, but the glow of the television was present. That meant your long-term boyfriend, Peter Parker, was awake and playing the newest video game. You smiled to yourself, imagining the boy with his pajamas and headset on. The rest of your walk to your dorm room door had a little more urgency after you found out your night wouldn't be so uneventful. It was only nine-thirty after all.

Because Peter had his headset on, you knew he couldn't hear you open the door, so you decided to surprise your lovely boyfriend. You wanted until the round was over to slide your hands over his shoulders and down to his biceps. You kissed his cheek before removing his headphones slightly to talk to him.

"Hey Pete, I'm home early," you said softly as you moved your lips to his neck where you laid soft kisses. The boy hummed and turned his head toward you to kiss your lips slowly.

Peter broke the kiss soon and sighed contently. "I know. I'm so happy you are here. I missed you this morning," he explained while he paused his game and took off his headset. He stood from the couch, circled around it, and brought you into his arms. You initially planned on having a late night class after work today, but luckily, it was cancelled. That meant you could come home early.

"I missed you too. Hopefully, next year, our schedules will line up so we can spend more time together." From freshman year to present junior year, you and Peter always had conflicting schedules. With your work, his night activities, and classes, it seemed like you never saw each other outside of weekends.

"Well, I made myself some chicken and noodles. There are some in the fridge if you're hungry. I'm sure Ned won't mind if I stop playing so you and I can spend some time together," he reached for his controller, but you grabbed his wrist to stop him. He raised eyebrows in question.

You smiled at him. "How about you continue playing your game while I eat and read next to you? I just want to be near you." You spoke softly, but there was no reason beyond you wanted only Peter to hear your words.

He smiled back and kissed your lips before returning to his spot on the couch. After you placed your food in the microwave, you moved toward the bedroom to change into some shorts and a t-shirt of Peter's. Once the microwave signaled that your food was ready, you exited the room to see your boyfriend getting frustrated. You grabbed your food and a book, then sat yourself between Peter's legs once the game was done. The new round had Peter cursing quietly into the microphone and talking with Ned hurriedly. You watched the game unfold with silent interest until the round was over once again and there had been no progress made.

You thought to yourself before you started to voice your ideas. "I can see you are getting frustrated, so I'm going to give you an incentive. Whenever you pass a level, I will give you a kiss."

Peter looked down at you curiously before agreeing. You had piqued his curiosity, obviously, and he got a little motivation. After you finished your plate of food, you began reading. Every so often, you would hear your boyfriend curse, but soon enough, he was squeezing your thigh to grab your attention. You looked up to see the word "VICTORY" painted across the tv screen. You smiled and turned your head to give him a sweet kiss to his lips.

"Good job, babe. Keep moving forward and I'll keep the kisses coming," you said before turning your attention to the book in your lap. Every so often, Peter would kiss your head when he would get frustrated, but he was able to pass plenty of levels and get multiple kisses. At eleven-thirty, you kissed Peter one last time before heading to bed.

"Don't stay up too late. You need sleep as much as I do." You got up, walked to your bedroom door, and before you entered your shared room, you blew him a kiss, which he caught and held to his heart. You blushed and headed to bed.

************

When you woke up the next morning, Peter had already left for class. Once you had gotten dressed, ate breakfast, and packed your bag, you noticed a note on the refrigerator.

'Your kisses make everything better. Have a great day in class. I love you. XOXO Peter'

[blissfulparker]

Congrats on 5k! I'd love to be a part of your writing challenge! Can I do the bodyguard!AU with Tom Holland?? Thanks!

Thank you! And yes you can have that au!

Kats writing challenge

[blissfulparker]

kat!! congrats on this huge milestone! you deserve all the love and success you’ve received/earned and i cant wait to see you continue to grow! so blessed to be able to be mutuals with someone as great as you! 💓 for your writing challenge could i have angst prompt, “You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me.” with peter parker?? 💓

I love you 🤧 and yes you can have that prompt

Kats writing challenge

[blissfulparker]

I love this! I don’t read much MJ fics but I absolutely loved this and thought it was adorable 🤧💓

My Backpack!

Hey! This is for @blissfulparker‘s 5k writing challenge. This was a bit hard to write, but I love MJ so I soldiered through to create this. The reader is gender neutral, so everyone can enjoy it. There aren’t any Spider-Man: Far From Home spoilers either, so don’t worry about that :).

Warnings: Cursing, angst at the beginning, pure fluff at the end though

As soon as you wake up, you just know that today will be a terrible day. It’s not the weather, that’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows. And it’s not like you have any tests or anything to worry about. You can tell, however, that something horrible is going to happen.

You decide, however, to push that thought to the back of your mind. Today is an important day, and you’re determined not to let anything deter you.

You put on your favorite clothes, desperate for any extra confidence you can get. Grabbing a banana and your backpack, you head to the bus stop a block away from your apartment, shouting a quick goodbye to your parents and closing the door without waiting for a response.

You’re frowning, now, because what if this bad feeling in your gut isn’t just paranoia? What if something actually does go wrong today? You’ve been walking on autopilot, consumed by your thoughts, so you’re surprised to see your bus stop.

Your frown completely melts away however, as you set your eyes on the tall beauty slouching on bench. You’re almost positive that she’s glowing, an ethereal human who’s beauty is so special, so rare, that your bad thoughts slip away.

Keep reading

[blissfulparker]

Thank you for entering! This was absolutely amazing!!!💞

the boy with the colors

part 3

Masterlist

taglist: open, just send me an ask! word count: 2.4k warnings: little bit of implied angst

Keep reading

[blissfulparker]

I love bookstore AUs and I love this!!!

the little bookstore! 𑁍 p.p

summary; it was maybe a beautiful book of its own working at a beautiful little bookstore with him.

warnings; little bit of angst

author’s note; this is for @blissfulparker writing challenge. this took way longer than expected i sadly lost inspo in the middle of it but i finished it! if there is errors please ignore . :( & this is a library au with petey!

word count: 1.2k

⠀ ━━₊˚.༄ he couldn’t stop his excitement, walking down the beautiful streets of queens, new york. peter parker was heading to his first official job at a local bookstore. it had a been a perfect day with each eager step he took closer to his destination. one of his favorites places actually just on the corner of a quite peaceful neighborhood. the bookstore had been around for a while and the owner had loved peter she was a lovely lady reason being why he gotten the job easily. you had been working at that library for a little over a month — you loved the job and you had just found out peter had applied and been accepted.

peter approached the bookstore — opening the doors with the scent of fresh coffee and pastries filling the air. he could hear the flipping of pages, the typing from the computers, and the register ringing up the books. this felt peaceful to him bringing him to sense of serene.

he picked up a book displaced on the floor then he was faced with you. you grabbed the book from his hands, “thanks peter i was bout’ to pick that up. so are you ready for your first day.” you sweetly spoke excitedly.

once you placed the book back on the shelf you lead him to the storage room with the all books. you walked peter through everything making sure he understood it all perfectly. but most of the time he was at a loss of words being flustered around you. so sometimes you ran over things twice which wasn’t a problem.

he thought you were beautiful and every time you smiled or laughed his heartbeat would speed up. it never kept a steady beat when he was around you sometimes it was shallow but in other moments it felt as if it was about to burst.

you constantly tried to hide how nervous you were around peter looking at you feet or fidgeting with your hands. you thought peter parker was adorable he had beautiful chestnut locks that came down perfectly to frame his face when he laughed. one thing you specifically noticed were his freckles and how beautiful they were. you found yourself constantly getting lost in his freckles like they were stars meeting to make perfect constellations.

finishing up, meeting with the owner of the store she was happy to see the you two working together. she picked up a stack of books and placed them on the table you quickly started organizing them. your shift was about to end with peter and you offered help before you left.

“do you need anymore help after this?”

“no it’s okay dear you can head out with you friend after this,” she insisted.

“thank you. i’ll go get peter when i’m done he’s restocking in the back.”

“how is it going?” she questioned.

“great! i mean it’s pretty easy around here i’m pretty sure peter likes the job too.” you answed.

she beamed and saw peter walking towards you, “well you two can go now have a lovely night,” she responded before getting ready to leave.

you placed the last book on the shelf and started closing up. you left with peter walking down the street it was quite between the two of you. the only sounds were coming from the cars passing by and your footsteps. you were nervous you kept thinking about him. the sun was no longer beaming slowly setting the wind nipped at your skin leaving a rose complexion across your cheeks. peter looked at you giggling making you confused.

“your cheeks are pink,” he shyly mumbled.

your eyes meet smiling — his eyes were beautiful like pools of honey with beautiful golden specks. tilting your head, “is it bad?” you asked giggling. peter had a surprised look on his face, “n- no, it’s adorable,” he emitted embarrassedly.

leaving you with more a rosy complexion blossoming across both of your cheeks. the both of you continued walking to the train since you both went to the same one. taking a seat when arrived you started rambling about your favorite books. it was a common thing and it was one peter’s favorite things to hear you ramble.

most of the time you guys only talked while at the bookstore and now that he worked there you knew it would be more common. which made you extremely happy because it gave you a chance to spend more time with him. but it had always made you nervous knowing you would spent a lot of time with him that your feeling towards him would grow.

━━

the bell ringed turning your head you were meet with peter. you had both been working at the bookstore for a few months now — your feelings have immensely grown in the past few months. they completly blossomed beautifully like flowers a complete flower field grown right at your heart. for peter there was butterflies constantly fluttering in peter’s stomach when you were around. and when your hands would brush with his they would start flying.

the both of you did everything together and constantly gave each other book recommendations. you sat by him during lunch you quickly pulled out your next book for peter to read.

“here you go pete.” you softly spoke handing him the book.

he thanked you taking the book in his hand looking through the pages. he was excited to start it, “thank you so much.”

“you’re welcome.” you beamed tilting your head.

the day went on and it felt as if each day your feelings kept on getting stronger for him. sometimes you would bring up that the two of you should hang out outside of work or school but peter would always turn down the offer. it made you feel a bit sad that maybe he didn’t want to spend time with you but he always said it was his internship so you didn’t want to get upset over that.

“um peter?” you softly spoke up.

“yeah?” he’d furrow his eyebrows.

fumbling with your fingers between you hands, “i was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend,” you mumbled.

he wanted to say yes but he constantly just freaked out and said he was busy. it’s not that he didn’t want to it’s just he was too nervous. he felt super bad lying, “maybe next weekend i’m sorry. i’m super busy.” he frowned.

“yeah of course,” you sadly mumbled.

you tried hiding your sadness and started walking away back to the register. you didn’t want to cry but it was felt that that peter didn’t like you. you tried avoiding peter the rest of the week while working and he noticed.

the rest of the week wasn’t as eventful without you. you guys always shelved together, brought each other snacks, and joked around. it was boring by himself and he missed you. he wanted to fix it more than anything so he tried talking to you but it didn’t work much. until he finally got an idea a few days later.

peter was quite that day you didn’t do much but register while peter shelved. you wanted to talk to peter but you were scared that maybe he would be mad because you weren’t talking to him. you tried meeting him when you’re shift was over but he was gone.

you decided to start closing maybe tomorrow you thought but then you saw one last book on the counter. it had a note on it with messy hand writing — it was peter’s.

⠀⠀ here’s a book for you. :) would you like to meet up when you finish it? maybe a date ♡

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀— peter

you quickly walked out with the book in your hand having the biggest smile. then you saw him walking not to far away — quickly you ran up to him pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“i’d love too.”

[blissfulparker]

This is amazing! I love this so much and it made me cry and feel comforted it was a roller coaster of emotion🤧💗 thank you so much for participating!

twelve months || p.p

↬ pairing(s): Peter Parker x adopted Stark!reader

↬ genre/warnings: angst/comfort fic, PTSD, anxiety & depression, mentions of death, post Endgame (that’s a warning in itself tbh)

↬ word count: 1.3k

↬ synopsis: twelve months have passed since Earth lost her best defender, and it hits some harder than others.

↬ a/n: this is my piece for @blissfulparker’s writing challenge w the prompt “You’re hurting can’t you see?” & again, congrats on 5K bb!! <3 also, I’m a noob idk how to put a ‘read more’ option on mobile sorry

Twelve months. Already it’s been a year living in a world without Tony Stark.

An arrangement was made where you lived with Aunt May during the fall, winter, and spring so you could attend school with Peter and Ned. During the off-season you lived with Pepper and Morgan, but during the year you visited at least twice a month. The visits were always short, and nobody but Morgan had the fight in them complain.

Being obsessively grateful had become the new trend.

It was a month after Tony’s death when Peter was professionally diagnosed with survivor’s trauma, a subtype of PTSD accompanied by anxiety and acute depression. His symptoms had appeared only a day after Thanos’ defeat. Peter confessed his feelings to Aunt May after one specific night where his nightmare had been so horrific it woke you up out of your sleep and you had to coddle him while he cried into your shirt.

Five months after that Peter mostly recovered. His daily scheduled appointments with his therapist became weekly, and eventually he assured everybody he didn’t need them anymore. We all believed him, and rightfully so. Peter was at peace.

It was around that same time that Peter started to tag along on your monthly visits to see Pepper and Morgan. You, Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey would catch up, seek comfort in one another while Peter and Morgan would swap the best stories about Iron Man. Harley came around sometimes, too, sharing his own tales about the Mechanic.

Even after Peter’s recovery, Ned wasn’t enthusiastic about Spider-Man anymore. You didn’t undergo the same therapy and depressive episodes like Peter had, and still Ned didn’t probe you for details. He wasn’t as enthusiastic as he used to be about superheroes. Nobody mentioned it.

Flash didn’t join the dusted the five years ago when Thanos first snapped his fingers. He graduated at the top of his class and got accepted into one of the best colleges in the country. The week you Peter and Ned returned back to school after things had settled, Flash paid Midtown a visit. The five years had done his personality justice. Flash apologized for his bullying that he claimed manifested from underlying jealousy, and offered his condolences. You all accepted it and moved on.

Seven months after Tony’s death and things began to change. You and Peter spent time alone, but now you did it with each other. The patches in your relationship were being sewn back together, each stitch binding strong. You held hands, shared beds, your hugs were longer. Your kisses were short and sweet, and other times they were needy and passionate. Aunt May loved the idea of you two being together, there for one another in a way she couldn’t be, but she never pushed it onto you guys, and you loved that about her.

Twelve months. Already a year has come and gone living behind a mask crafted of lies. You’re not okay. A year has passed and the absence of Tony Stark in your life is crippling. Your strong front was waning.

“Your lies aren’t working anymore,” Peter says softly from next to you in bed. He knows you’re not asleep yet, but you give him silence in reply. He continues anyway. “I hear you up at night because you can’t sleep, and I know when we visit Pepper and you leave the room it’s to go sit in his shop.”

You can already feel the muscles in your chest tighten at his words, the urge to cry amplifying. You swallowed back the lump in your throat and pulled the blanket up to your chin. “Please, don’t worry about me, you need your peace of mind.” you tell him as you force your eyes shut.

“And you don’t?” he quipped, and a bright light shines behind your eyelids as he switches a lamp on. “You’re hurting can’t you see? You haven’t even cried. Not since that day.”

You open your eyes and turn over in the bed to face him. You can tell he’s trying not to cry, trying to give you the opportunity to be the vulnerable one.

“Hey, talk to me.” his voice is soft and low, yet demanding. “Are you okay?”

There’s no worse question to ask a person when something’s gone completely sideways in their life than if they’re okay.

Tony was more than a teammate, a co-worker, or a friend and Peter knew this. You found a home in Tony, and without him it’s like the walls have come crashing down and the floors have caved in on you. The act of pretending like he didn’t leave and take the best part of you with him was draining.

You sat up in the bed, eyes narrowed to slits as you asked him, “can you be okay in this situation?”

He’s entirely stunned by the forward response, and at an utter loss of words.

“It never stops hurting. You never get used to the pain, you just make room for it. It will never be okay.”

Peter opens his mouth to speak, but ultimately decides against it. You give him another chance to say something, anything, and still he stares in silence.

You laid back down in the bed, your back to him. “Good night, Peter.”

“No, we’re going to talk about this.” he protested, a real bitterness in his tone that drove you up the wall.

In a fraction of a second you’re sat up in the bed on your knees. “What is there to talk about?!” you wailed, gesticulating wildly. There was no thought given to how it was well past one in the morning, or that May was sound asleep just down the hall. There was no thought at all, and the words that sounded out were nothing but raw emotion. “Bad things happen! You can’t change and you can’t predict them!”

“You’re right, you can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it!” he yelled just as loud, now standing bedside.

“Learn that in therapy?” you retorted, and regretted it the instant the words left your mouth. You dropped your head in shame. “I’m sorry.”

Peter sighed sadly. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” you shook your head, “I don’t care how angry I am, I never want to use that against you. I’m sorry for being unreasonable. You’re just trying to help.”

“I am,” he agreed, sitting halfway on the bed beside you. “I just hate seeing you so miserable. You’re good at hiding it, and it took me awhile to see it past my own hurt, but I know you. You’re unhappy.”

The hurt becomes more evident on your face throughout Peter’s consoling until your eyes are glimmering with watery tears. You swipe them away, but they return instantly, and it’s so out of character for you to be crying that you don’t know how to control or stop it. His eyes soften for a moment as he watches you, and he can’t stop himself from visibly frowning.

Peter grabbed your wrists allowing unchecked tears to slide down your cheeks and dribble off your chin. “Hey,” he said softly, calmingly, “you know, over time you start to realize it’s okay to admit things aren’t okay. Your feelings are valid; you don’t always have to be the strong one.”

And just like that the floodgates opened. The cries were hysterical, sobs only being interrupted by the need for breath. Emotional pain seeped from every pore as tears burst forth like water from a dam.

Peter engulfed you in his arms as he said, “I want us to take steps so that you don’t feel like you have to isolate your feelings. The last thing I want is for you to feel like you can’t talk to me.” he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, coddling you like you’d done for him all those months ago.

Twelve months. Already it’s been a year living in a world without Tony Stark. Peter’s comforting embrace as you cried into his shirt granted you freedom of the pain, and for the first time in twelve months you didn’t feel completely alone.

“I’m right here, and you don’t need to hurt when I’m here.”

↬ a/n: uhhh follow me for more LMAO I’ll post again one of these days :) reblogging/commenting is super encouraging!!

[lettersofwrittencollective]

Okay but like MJ and Ned placing a bet on it 😂😂

And the way that she pulled him so he made that little oof sound? Excuse me while I go die of floofiness 😍😍😍

Lockscreen Tells All

Summary: Peter gets a glimpse of how you see him through the lens and it opens up how you both truly feel. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

This is a part of @blissfulparker‘s writing challenge to celebrate 5k! 

The bell rang and the class around you transformed from dutiful students to heathens fighting to get out the door first. Patiently, you and your best friend MJ waited for the rest of your classmates to leave before gathering your belongings.

“Are you still cool with sleeping over this weekend, Y/N?” MJ asked as you two walked up to your side-by-side lockers.

“Absolutely! I’ve been so busy lately. It’s like all of the school events happen in the last month of school. Principal Morita has had me booked solid taking pictures.” You were shoving books in your locker aimlessly as tiredness was settling in your bones.

Keep reading

[blissfulparker]

This is adorable! I love gamer!peter

Kisses Make Everything Better // Peter Parker

Summary: Peter planned on spending his night alone, playing video games with Ned over the television, but the surprise made his night even better.

Warnings: fluff

*I don't own the gif*

As you walked back to you dorm, you could see through the window that no lights were on, but the glow of the television was present. That meant your long-term boyfriend, Peter Parker, was awake and playing the newest video game. You smiled to yourself, imagining the boy with his pajamas and headset on. The rest of your walk to your dorm room door had a little more urgency after you found out your night wouldn't be so uneventful. It was only nine-thirty after all.

Because Peter had his headset on, you knew he couldn't hear you open the door, so you decided to surprise your lovely boyfriend. You wanted until the round was over to slide your hands over his shoulders and down to his biceps. You kissed his cheek before removing his headphones slightly to talk to him.

"Hey Pete, I'm home early," you said softly as you moved your lips to his neck where you laid soft kisses. The boy hummed and turned his head toward you to kiss your lips slowly.

Peter broke the kiss soon and sighed contently. "I know. I'm so happy you are here. I missed you this morning," he explained while he paused his game and took off his headset. He stood from the couch, circled around it, and brought you into his arms. You initially planned on having a late night class after work today, but luckily, it was cancelled. That meant you could come home early.

"I missed you too. Hopefully, next year, our schedules will line up so we can spend more time together." From freshman year to present junior year, you and Peter always had conflicting schedules. With your work, his night activities, and classes, it seemed like you never saw each other outside of weekends.

"Well, I made myself some chicken and noodles. There are some in the fridge if you're hungry. I'm sure Ned won't mind if I stop playing so you and I can spend some time together," he reached for his controller, but you grabbed his wrist to stop him. He raised eyebrows in question.

You smiled at him. "How about you continue playing your game while I eat and read next to you? I just want to be near you." You spoke softly, but there was no reason beyond you wanted only Peter to hear your words.

He smiled back and kissed your lips before returning to his spot on the couch. After you placed your food in the microwave, you moved toward the bedroom to change into some shorts and a t-shirt of Peter's. Once the microwave signaled that your food was ready, you exited the room to see your boyfriend getting frustrated. You grabbed your food and a book, then sat yourself between Peter's legs once the game was done. The new round had Peter cursing quietly into the microphone and talking with Ned hurriedly. You watched the game unfold with silent interest until the round was over once again and there had been no progress made.

You thought to yourself before you started to voice your ideas. "I can see you are getting frustrated, so I'm going to give you an incentive. Whenever you pass a level, I will give you a kiss."

Peter looked down at you curiously before agreeing. You had piqued his curiosity, obviously, and he got a little motivation. After you finished your plate of food, you began reading. Every so often, you would hear your boyfriend curse, but soon enough, he was squeezing your thigh to grab your attention. You looked up to see the word "VICTORY" painted across the tv screen. You smiled and turned your head to give him a sweet kiss to his lips.

"Good job, babe. Keep moving forward and I'll keep the kisses coming," you said before turning your attention to the book in your lap. Every so often, Peter would kiss your head when he would get frustrated, but he was able to pass plenty of levels and get multiple kisses. At eleven-thirty, you kissed Peter one last time before heading to bed.

"Don't stay up too late. You need sleep as much as I do." You got up, walked to your bedroom door, and before you entered your shared room, you blew him a kiss, which he caught and held to his heart. You blushed and headed to bed.

************

When you woke up the next moening, Peter had already left for class. Once you had gotten dressed, ate breakfast, and packed your bag, you noticed a note on the refrigerator.

'Your kisses make everything better. Have a great day in class. I love you. XOXO Peter'

[blissfulparker]

This was AMAZING! Don’t doubt that this won’t be popular because it was beautiful love!💓

Agent of Hydra || Peter Parker

masterlist found here

pairing - Peter x Hydra!reader word count - 2,283 warnings - I guess there’s a Season 1 Agent of SHIELD spoiler A/N - this is for @blissfulparker‘s 5K Writing Challenge! | prompt:  “I wish it wasn’t you but it is, and I’m so sorry.” | I’m pretty proud of this but for some reason I feel like it won’t be very popular lol

summary - You’re not proud of your background and the reputation your last name gives you. When your first mission comes and it involves your best friend, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Are you on the side of your dad, or the side of heroes?

As Shakespeare once wrote, “Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

If that statement was true, then the reverse must also be true. Some people are born evil, some achieve evil, and some have evil thrust upon them.

You were a combination of the first and last.

Your dad was John Garret. Known under many aliases, including Deathlok and the Clairvoyant, he was a powerful member of Hydra. You were raised hearing his two twisted mottos:

First, You can’t ever get attached to anyone or anything. You have to fight that weakness inside you.

And second, Don’t trust anyone, ever. Especially me.

For most of your life, you just went along with it. Your dad was evil, so you felt like you were born evil. The evil was thrust upon you. You weren’t given a choice between one side or the other. Growing up, you didn’t know any better anyway. You agreed with the things your dad told you because it was the only thing you heard. Hydra was superior. SHIELD were the wrong ones. You had no reason to ever question him. For your whole life, you proudly hailed Hydra.

When you entered high school, things changed. You changed. You were more exposed to other opinions and so many good people who believed in good. Believed in SHIELD. Believed in heroes. At Midtown High, you became friends with Peter, Ned, and MJ. It made everything in your life so confusing. You started to question the exact principles you were raised on. Your friends stood for everything your dad was against. Everything you were raised to be against. Especially Peter. Peter was all about the Avengers. He spoke so earnestly about what they stood for that, soon enough, you started to believe in them too.

And then, you did the really stupid thing, and you fell in love with Peter. Peter who your dad would despise. Peter who worshiped SHIELD and stood for everything good. Peter who you knew was Spider-Man.

Peter, Peter, Peter.

Just like that, the first of your father’s mottos was ignored.

You can’t ever get attached to anyone or anything.

You loved your friends more than anything. You couldn’t imagine your teenage years without them. You were attached. If anything happened to them, you had no idea what you would do. That’s why you hated every mission that pinned Hydra against the Avengers. It put Peter in immediate danger, but you couldn’t say anything to anybody about it. You couldn’t warn Peter of Hydra’s plans, because it would make Peter see who you really were. That was an identity you were trying so hard to hide from him. But you couldn’t ask your dad to ease up on the heroes, because that would show your weakness. The weakness you were supposed to fight.

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

When you turned 16, your dad decided it was time for you to suit up and join the team. His team. Hydra. Your worst nightmare was coming true. Deep down, you always knew the day would come, but you had delusionally told yourself that it wouldn’t. You had to pretend you had been waiting for the day, when in reality you had been dreading it.

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