#katie taking part of the blame kudos

[bobbie-robron]

It’s the only thing that makes us both happy. We’re miserable apart. (Part 1)

It’s late at night and Andy’s only getting into bed due to the lambing and promptly falls asleep. Katie isn’t happy with Robert having texted her at night and goes on about the mess they’d cause it they got together but Robert reminds her, the damage is already done and they are a mess. Katie takes EQUAL BLAME with Robert about their situation. Jack whinging to Andy about Val staying at his but happy to hear Katie’s supporting Andy about buying the farm. Apparently, Robert and Katie have been talking for an hour about their situation and have no answers other than they can’t stand to be apart but can’t be trusted to be together.

08-Apr-2004

[snarkytiara]

A loooong post, and I know long essays can be annoying, so putting behind a cut, but I have some Thoughts when I see a post like this by @willandkate

- First: I’m not sure who you are trying to convince with your post? Also, you start with William’s 2016 statement, but then the rest of your post tries to make a case for why statements are not the BRF thing and that other gestures were made. The statement from William shows there is precedent for statements supporting Harry and Meghan, so your argument isn’t very strong.

- Small gestures were not going to cut it! The response to Meghan is on a whole other level, and that should have necessitated other measures IMO. If you are having to sum up all the small moments for fellow royal watchers, who pay attention to this stuff, how is anybody else even going to notice?

- Stop normalizing the press abuse of royal women. If your response to the abuse Meghan gets, is to sum up what other royal women dealt with in the past, you’ve lost the argument. The amount of abuse any of these women got is not ok, and you going straight to mentioning that abuse is a means to deflect from talking in depth about all the facets of what Meghan has been dealing with. A big issue in the royal fandom is still the amount of people unwilling to talk about and understand what only Meghan deals with within the BRF (racism and xenophobia). It makes some people uncomfortable to talk about it and it’s fucking sad. The BRF wasn’t ready for growth, but neither were some people in the royal fandom. It’s a big problem to continue to see this conflating of Meghan’s treatment with the treatment of other royal women in the BRF.

- The abuse Meghan gets is contributing to a national (and international lbr) debate about racism in the UK. POC in commonwealth countries are looking at this and it reflects badly on the BRF. This is a huge added element to the treatment of Meghan, that is not present in abuse that other royal women got in the past. That Kate got called ‘Waity Katy’ by the press, dit not lead to the possibility of negative sentiment in CW countries towards the monarchy. This was said last month:

“This week a senior Commonwealth figure told me that the tabloid treatment of Meghan – so clearly racist to observers in other parts of the world, while large parts of the British public remain in denial – is having a knock-on effect in making it harder for him to promote Britain abroad.” - Afua Hirsch, The Guardian

- You summing up all these perceived gestures, does not say anything about how Meghan (and Harry) experienced that ‘support’. Are you deciding for Harry and Meghan that it was enough? Did you really expect them to say otherwise during the engagement interview? And those small moments William and Kate spoke about them, what else were they going to say? On the surface, a show of support, but tells us absolutely nothing about how things are behind closed doors. Your post decidedly ignores that.

- After all this supposed support, Harry and Meghan still left. Fact. Is that all on them? The warm embrace of the Cambridges must have felt a bit too warm for them I guess. They couldn’t handle all the love. Your post lacks analysis into the possible reasons for Harry and Meghan and the shared blame of different parties in things coming to a head in this way.

- I also have the following question: if you are going to call out the Sussexes for overshadowing other royals, you have to be fair. What did you think of Kate launching her 5 question survey on the same day as Charles’ big speech in Davos? Is that not overshadowing him? Kate had been working on this for two years, but she just has to launch on the same day as a big Charles speech, that is important to him? Genuinely curious how you view that. And if a promo for Harry and Meghan’s documentary overshadows a Cambridge tour, seems to me that is a Cambridge problem. Harry and Meghan have no say over when ITV airs a promo. 

- Harry and Meghan didn’t deserve a statement of support, because they made the announcement that they were leaving, without consent? Weird take, as it’s odd to say in retrospect that they didn’t deserve a statement earlier in 2019, when things were at their worst, because at the start of 2020 they made an announcement. That’s after the fact. The BRF knew about Harry and Meghan entertaining the possibility of stepping back. Fact. There was a reason they felt the need to go public with it now, as it has been mentioned they were halted and sent away by courtiers when they were trying to discuss things with the queen and Charles. Your post doesn’t explore the reason for why Harry and Meghan may have done what they did and incorrectly places all of the blame on them. 

- I don’t know if you watched Harry and Meghan’s documentary? A couple obviously struggling, and Meghan’s hard time as a royal is not going to be made better simply by a pat on the back from Kate after Serena lost at Wimbledon. It’s wild that you, and others, think that is doing enough to show support.

- None of what you’ve said takes into account the KP press approach over the past couple of years. For example, any small gesture of support from Kate to Meghan gets severely undermined when KP is completely fine with a press narrative meant to embiggen Kate, at Meghan’s expense. It’s naive to believe that KP has had no part in that and I’ve yet to see a Kate/Cambridge fan accept that reality and own that it’s been happening. The reality has always been that the BRF are fine throwing each other under the bus. PR and actually thinking about how that makes them look has never been the strong suit of this family.

- You know what else undermines any small gesture of support for Meghan? The seemingly huge gestures of support from the queen to Andrew! If Liz keeps taking Andrew out and about, I sure as fuck am not still giving her kudos for taking Meg on an engagement back in June of 2018! And sure, it would’ve been smart optics for Harry and Meghan to visit Balmoral, and I would have advised them of that if I worked for them, but also; should they have visited before or after the queen was seen going to church with a smiling Andrew the day after Epstein died? Effectively showing she doesn’t give a fuck about her own image either. You could argue that isn’t a great advertisement for wanting to visit the queen.. Plus Harry and Meghan live(d) in Windsor, where they queen spends most of her time anyway.

- Speaking of the Queen, it is so often ignored how much influence she does have over the press. I’m sure over the years there has been many a time where she has intervened on behalf of the likes of Andrew. Why is it that Meghan has to have the stiff upper lip? Because this is what all royal women just have to face?

- I find it odd that you are only blaming Harry and Meghan for possibly feeling isolated. A struggling couple, dealing with a lot, should receive most of that blame? That darn Harry and Meghan are just being so difficult because they didn’t feel that William and Kate standing near them that time in Westminster Abbey was enough!1! They are so ungrateful. 

- Harry and Meghan leaving looks bad for the BRF, however you slice it. It reflects badly on them. Even if you don’t believe that, I’m sure you still feel that all this drama should have been prevented, for the sake of your faves? If this has been a topic of conversation with Harry and Meghan since last year, then why not also make it a topic of conversation how the rest of the BRF could and should have done more to prevent them choosing to leave? 

All in all, your post on this is very superficial and lacks nuance, but that tracks with what I’ve seen from most Cambridge fans. I know there is no point convincing you, and others, just like there is no point in your post trying to convince Sussex fans. But this had to be said and honestly I’ve been sitting on this since after the documentary aired.

[rndyounghowze]

Titanic by Broadway Theatre of Pitman in Pitman New Jersey

Titanic, 1997’s Tony Award winner for best musical that features music and lyrics by Maury Yeston and book and lyrics by Peter Stone calls Broadway Theatre of Pitman its port of call until the 30th. Off we go on a journey throughout the fated ship from the lower decks where the Irish third class resides to the upper decks where the upper class rub elbows in luxury. Director John Stephan takes us back to the fateful voyage of 1912 in a truly touching performance.

Pictured: The Cast of "Titanic the Musical" performing "Finale".

Photo Courtesy of: John Stephan

This musical tells the story of all the reasons that passengers boarded the Titanic for her doomed maiden voyage. Some like Bruce Ismay, Thomas Andrews, and Captain Smith (Dave Gold, Steve McMahon, and Paul Weagraff) boarded for hubris as the men who could say they owned, built, and mastered her. Some like stoker Frederick Barrett and radioman Harold Bride (Andy Boettcher and DJ Hedgepath) came because working on this ship was to become their bread and butter.

Several more individuals and families boarded this ship to continue a life of luxury in first class, catch a glimpse of a life they never had in second class, or find a new life in America in third class. First class passengers were captains of industry whose names we may still know today such as the Astors (played by Jim Ludovici and Kate Hughes), Strauss (played by Nick Saverine and Margaret Hill) and Guggenheim (Michael Schmidt). Second class passengers were couples like Edgar and Alice Beane (played by Tad Levine and Kristin Titus) who wanted to see a glimpse and a luxurious life that they could never hope to get. In third class you had three “Kates” (played by Jenna Kuerzi, Mia Massaro, and Katie Hughes) and Jim Farrell who have been longing for a better life with jobs in America.

Each passenger came on board for a different reason and at a different station but soon found themselves in the same situation as the iceberg struck. The mammoth block of ice formed by the elements soon became the great equalizer. This musical also endeavors to show you what's left after the carnage is over.

The cast that made up the passenger manifest of this wonderful show were some of the most professional and talented actors I have ever met. I was awed by their skill and range as many of them took on two or more roles. If I was writing a novel and not a review I would love to stop and tell you about all these wonderful actors. I will, however, only talk about some of the ones that caught my eye the most. You'll have to come out to see the rest and pick out your favorites.

Steve McMahon as Andrews didn't stand out to me at first until I heard him sing. He has a set of pipes that shook the rafters. You'll hear him best in songs like “Blame” and “Andrew’s Vision”. He plays that calculating kind of man that is still running numbers and figures in his head even until the last. I found his acting effective but his singing was truly powerful.

Dave Gold as Ismay had the hard job of taking a proud and manipulative man and turning him into a human being I could relate to. His presence took up the stage almost as well as his character’s ego.

Andy Boettcher as Barrett took us through a journey as a man that seems as hard and dark as the coal he shovels but also has a soft heart and a love for a girl back home. You can hear him best in the song “Proposal” where you can hear that soft side come out.

DJ Hedgepath as Harold Bride gave us a man who keeps his ear to the ground and head in the radio waves but also has kind soul. What I loved most about Hedgepath’s performance was that when he changed roles to play Mr. Thayer I never really noticed it was him. I think one of the best compliments you could give an actor was that you never noticed when they switched characters because their skill was that good.

Kristin Titus as Alice Beane gave us a woman desperate for the finer things in life and always ready to graze on the latest gossip. She was almost the unofficial glue that held the story together and I think she rose to the occasion splendidly.

Mia Massaro as Kate McGowan showed us a woman who knows what she wants. Her singing was amazing in “Lady’s Maid” and you can feel a sense of raw human energy behind her performance. She's definitely one of the characters I connected to the most.

Direction and choreography by John Stephan was masterful weaving singing and dancing and drama in a seamless work of art. It's very rare to see a show like this where all the moving pieces and sheer weight of humanity onstage don't cause some longer runtimes due to scene changes and people getting on and off stage. Not in this show. I love it when directors don't go for flash but focus on the gripping human elements of a show and this is exactly what he did.

My favorite moments were the great company scenes where passengers were flitting about and chaos ensued. You see this in the grand energy of “The Launching” in the first act where all the passengers are boarding and you can just feel the excitement. You also see this in numbers like “The Hymn” and “Doing the Latest Rag” where I could feel an energy coming off the cast. I felt that these people were families and people with hopes and dreams.

I also felt that the scenes at the lifeboats were very gripping as wives, children, and husbands were ripped apart. The chaos being a mirror image to the grandeur in the first act left me with tears in my eyes.

Some scenes had elements that didn't work as well. In “What a Remarkable Age This Is!” I perceived just a slight drop in energy and was a bit perplexed at the decision to place some actors at the table facing away from the audience where their lines were somewhat lost.

I also would say that I loved the heightened and frantic energy at the end of Act one so much that I didn't need the foam rubber chunks of “ice” at the end. I totally felt the energy and could feel everything coming to a crashing halt on it's own through superb acting and haunting music. The prop ice, having no weight to it, pulled me out of the moment. If they were to ever do this show again I’d hope that they know that their talent was far more powerful than any fake iceberg they can make.

I also saw a drop in energy in “The Staircase” and “The Blame”. However I'm sure this can be blamed on a Sunday matinee doldrums and not the cast. The minute the pace picked up for the rest of the act I saw no more problems.

Stephan is one of those directors that can take an extraordinary cast, talented musicians, and a skilled crew and use them to their best abilities. I'm never disappointed and sure wasn't by this show.

Music direction by Jack Hill used an eleven piece orchestra as a time machine to put us back in the days before the roaring twenties when the 1800’s were just a vivid memory and the rest of the century was a gleam in people's eyes. Through musical numbers throughout “The Launching” I could feel the sea come alive. By the end of Act one I felt the pace quicken and a musical “crash” more powerful than an iceberg.

But the music could also get sweet and mellow like in “The Proposal” and “The Night was Alive” and “Lady’s Maid” where you could hear hopes and dreams in melodic form.

Also kudos to the orchestra for playing even through a thick layer of stage fog. Even in a musical about the Titanic you can say “the band played on”.

Set design by John D. Smitherman was minimal but powerful. With just a platform, stairs, and a cockpit he was able to convey the grandeur of the ship. Even better in Act Two he was able to find a way for the entire platform to tip slightly to give us the feeling of chaos as the ship sank. It was just the right touch that was needed to give us the sense of danger.

Costume design by Beth Hillebrecht also took us back in time with period accurate costumes. My favorites were the uniforms of the crew and the tattered clothes of the third class passengers. The attention to detail brought us into the world very well.

Kudos to lighting designer Shawn McGovern who not only gave us a “wet look” through lighting patterns and colors but used spotlights to drive focus where it was needed.

Kudos to sound design by Chris Schenk that was done so well you almost didn't notice it. Sound is such an important part of a show and it is usually only mentioned when technical difficulties arise. I wanted to mention it here because even though there was some mic level issues I never heard a design that was more seamless in execution. If this is how they are when there are mic problems I know that he must be a Rembrandt of sound with everything going well.

I do wish, however, that there was some element or hint of water in the set design, props ,or costumes that was incorporated more just to give us a sense of the sea around us. I didn't need the entire set to be lowered into a tank of water or actors to be literally swimming but wet clothes or buckets of water being baled or something could have helped tie in the whole elements that the music and the lighting design were trying to convey.

The Titanic has a larger place in history than it ever did on the sea. That is because the stories of it's passengers, dreams planned, fortune and family lost, and works of man foundered create a legacy far more mammoth than the iceberg that sank the “world’s fastest moving object”. It's that legacy that still draws us into the theater to hear the story. Please if you have a chance run to the Broadway Theatre of Pitman before this show sails away again.

 Titanic opened on July 7 and runs through July 30 at the Broadway Theatre of Pitman. You can buy tickets online.

[jshuey]

What’s your mindset?

Is it fixed?

Is it growth?

Why your Mindset Matters

Everyone has a mindset. That’s a given. However, not everyone’s mindset helps them achieve, strive and accomplish all that they are capable of on a regular basis.

I recently finished Carol S. Dweck’s book “Mindset” – In her book she covers a lot of ground related to success and failure in relation to sports, business and personal relationships.

Below is an image I found after I had written a blog post on Carol S. Dweck’s book “Mindset” ...

which coincidentally is on Bill Gate’s

list of favorite books of 2015

... it is a fantastic summary in one place of what it means to have a Fixed vs. a Growth mindset. Read my original post. This image captures the essence of the difference and the points can be recognized and put to use immediately.

The image is from Reid Wilson, @wayfaringpath a PYP teacher with a fantastic grasp on how and what Growth and Fixed Mindsets mean to school age children and to adults.

This image is shared under Creative Commons - Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs - CC BY-NC-ND. Source: Reid Wilson

Effectively there are two mindsets to be considered. In the Fixed Mindset people take on a “woe is me” and “blame everyone and everything else … except me” mentality. In the Growth Mindset people take on a more Zen mentality where everything happens for a reason and can be a learning lesson.

As you can guess the Growth Mindset is much more conducive to success and being able to push on even when it seems all forces are against you. By adopting and embracing a Growth Mindset you can stand out in your career.

Fixed Mindset Traits:

Feeling labeled a failure

Getting discouraged when something doesn’t play out the way you expected

Passing on a chance to learn

Do you retreat when a challenge seems daunting? If yes, you might have a Fixed Mindset.

Growth Mindset Traits:

Takes on a challenge

Learns from mistakes and failures

Continues on … perseveres

Do you take failures as an opportunity learn? If yes, you might have a Growth Mindset.

There are a few more aspects to each mindset, but these are some of the key traits. Obviously, the idea is to embrace a Growth Mindset in order to keep moving forward.

Is is always possible to have a growth mindset? I’m not 100% sure. Being human will have down days, but people with a growth mindset will seek to turn those down days into learning experiments.

I think there will always be optimists. Call them dreamers if you like. Optimists are those people that sometimes drive us crazy because they can’t realize that what they are proposing will NEVER work. Then they go off and do the impossible.

Which reminds me of what Eleanor Roosevelt said …

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Seek a Growth Mindset

When you can take on a growth mindset mode of thinking you will be able to see things in a new light and be able to approach problems from a new perspective.

A few things you can do today to begin developing your Growth Mindset:

Look for the issues and dig into them

Break them down

Seek to understand what you can learn, take away and improve upon

This does not mean you will always be successful at every endeavor. This is not a case for advocating “participation ribbons” rather it is a chance to take control of your experiences. Take control of the way you react to conditions and actions that may have been thrust upon you.

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. ~ Brian Tracy

Failure is an Action

When you can fully accept that Failure is an Action … NOT an Identity you will be at least one step ahead of the game.

The point of this statement is that Failures Happen.

They do not define you. They are not your identity.

An Action Does Not Equal Your Identity

A few things you can do today to begin breaking away from a Fixed Mindset:

Instead of seeking to blame someone or something … look for the underlying issues

Before giving up take a step back and try to look at the bigger picture.

Work Harder. Yes, this might seem counter-intuitive and may fly in your face as an insult. It’s not. That’s your Fixed Mindset thinking.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times … And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

Fixed or Growth?

There sort of is a wrong answer here. A fixed mindset will only serve to drag you down and to reconfirm your fixed mindset convictions that you aren’t good enough, fast enough, smart enough. Don’t let that mindset control you.

Take control of your situation. Take control of the way you react & respond to the things that impact your life and I can assure you that your results will continue to improve.

Will it happen overnight? Not likely. However, in a step by step fashion you will start to see changes in the way you perceive and react to situations. As you being to do this and find initial successes your peers will also likely begin to take notice. As this happens more and more you will Stand Out in Your Career.

Remember …

”Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

Want more?

On the Radio

I also did a radio show on this same topic. Listen in for the BBSRADIO show I did with Michele Price on Dec 7th. Here is the link. Take a listen and if you like what you hear please tell a friend. 

What Would Make You Drastically Change Your Leadership Journey?

I filled in for Don Cooper this month - where I talk about:

Is your Mindset Killing Your Sales Effort?

My section starts at about the 4 minute mark. (Link to the audio show)

One way think about Growth Mindset thinking and compliments.

Reward the Effort ... Not the Result

For example, if you say:

That's great you got an A on that report card

Instead say:

You must have worked really hard to earn that grade.

It's commenting on the same thing, but one Rewards the Effort ... and the other Rewards the Result. This is not to say that results are unimportant. They are critical and Results Matter!

However, there is often a significant amount of time and work that goes into the effort. Where the effort is an often overlooked part of the journey.

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. ~ Colin Powell

A Growth Mindset will put in the work ... AND get the results. In the real world the results will vary. A Growth Mindset will take the negatives and explore them for what can be learned and taken away. So, that they can seek the results they desire.

Thanks for the inspiration …

Thanks an Kudos to Microsoft’s Kati Quiqley and Dean Armintrout for introducing me (and the whole PEB) to this insightful book. And, to Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella, for continuing his push to continuously breath new thinking into the Microsoft organization AND to the Microsoft Partner Ecosystem. Also, congrats to Satya for celebrating his 3rd year as CEO.

That Was a Lot of Info

Thanks for reading along. What to you have? A Fixed or Growth Mindset?

If you found this insightful, helpful and think it might help people you know please share this post. I would appreciate that and I hope whoever you send it to will as well. Thanks for reading!

A subset of this post is on LinkedIn and another is on the Personal Branding Blog (The #1 Career Site for Millennials)

Image Credits: Reid Wilson, @wayfaringpath 

Jeff is business advisor, mentor and community engagement expert. He has spent most of his career in the Enterprise Content Management industry. He brings over 20 years of Channel Sales, Partner Marketing and Alliance expertise to audiences around the world in speaking engagements and via his writing. He has worked for Microsoft, Kodak, and K2.

Connect with me on Twitter @jshuey

Or connect on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Google+

I am a a contributing author to Entrepreneur, Elite Daily, Yahoo, US News and to the Personal Branding Blog