#kat: u all..... need...... therapy.......

[golbrocklovely]

i wonder if sam’s more reactive than proactive with a life plan. not to say that he needs smthg super rigid, bc like no, but outside of work and short term close-ish stuff, i get the impression he just goes with it and doesnt have direction himself. like it seems like he’s looking for comfort and answers in these books, n not therapy 😭 - brought to u by my rabbit hole psych derailment

i mean, if you wanna know how i feel about sam, lemme tell you lol

i think sam relies heavily on self help books bc he doesn't understand himself, and he's hoping that reading oen of these books will be the epiphany he needs to finally understand who he is as a person. i'm not sure why he feels like he can't understand himself, but - and this could also just be me projecting somewhat - maybe he feels like he's not interesting enough on his own. like, sam a long time ago talked about how he just wanted to be normal, which then became him saying "i never want to be normal" ie never normal. and i think that idea worked for a while, but i think in group settings and in general life, he doesn't know where he fits amongst everyone else. i think he thinks he's not interesting enough, for whatever reason. whether it's bc his experiences aren't that crazy, or maybe it's bc he's too awkward to connect to others. i'm not sure, but i think he struggles to understand himself, and that's why he tries to find it in everywhere else.

as for long term goals and whatnot, i think in a business sense he can look forward to things and somewhat plan ahead. but in life, absolutely not. he's terrified of getting older, he's made that abundantly clear. and idk if it's just a general thing of not wanting to lose his youth, or if maybe he feels that once he "grows up" his life is over. maybe he sees it as he'll finally have responsibilities outside of himself and what he wants, and that's a lot of pressure to him. it could be that. maybe he just doesn't want to be old. maybe some of this is also tied to the fact that for a majority of his life he didn't believe in an afterlife, and bc of that, he figured once he was no longer young, that means he's old, and that means he's gonna die and that's it. lights out.

and i've said this a 1000 times over, but that man needs very deep therapy. and i mean that with all the respect in the world. therapy is great for those that need it, and i think he does. there's also nothing wrong with seeking therapy. and i believe continuous therapy for him (and colby too) would help him so much. bc i also think he doesn't understand his emotions and why he acts the way he does. and getting in touch with your emotions genuinely helps you SO MUCH.

so i hope he eventually does go to therapy, bc i have a feeling he stopped going after the initial time after his break up with kat. but hey, maybe he's still going to it. and if so, good on you sam. keep going.

[archivestoriescrafted]

@admiral cornwell: ‘ i was dead for three minutes. ‘

“lieutenant kirk,”   she can’t help but be entirely incredulous,  something about his tone sending off alarms all throughout her brain,   “forgive me if i’m mistaken here,  but it almost sounds like you consider that an accomplishment,”

star trek: discovery   |   accepting   |   @futurecommand!

[goldenlevi]

summary: You and Fez knew each other since you were kids, eventually you began dating. Now? you're just friends. exes to lovers au.

warnings: light angst (?) fluffy ending, smoking weed, alcohol mentions, the usual one reference to the nate/maddy situation in s1. nothing descriptive tho!

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated :D I hope u guys like it💕💕

If you'd like you can read pt 1 here or other works here

High Enough - Pt 𝟮

Drinks were flowing, the lights were flickering above, and you were buzzed. Maddy was venting your ear off about Nate and his unpredictably. Despite being older than her and the rest of the girls, you still got along with them. At times acting like an older sister.

Ever since that first impression your dislike for Nate never wavered, he had struck you as the type to be possessive and overall toxic. Frankly, that boy was in desperate need of therapy.

Listening patiently, you nodded along, knowing how deeply this situation actually bothered her.

“Honestly Maddy, you deserve someone better" You reached out, touching her arm lightly. "Someone who makes you feel safe. They should never cross a line...no matter how upset they might be feeling" You spoke as softly as you could over the loud music.

Her eyes widened tearing up for a brief moment, nevertheless, she downed her shot and grinned in defiance. You rolled your eyes fondly at the action.

“Let’s dance!” You heard Kat yelling from behind you. You laughed as she made a beeline towards you both. “Hi, looking pretty as always!” While greeting her with a hug, the song had changed and the bass hit making the speakers fight for their life.

A sign to light the joint sitting between your lips.

Inhaling deeply with your eyes now closed, you felt your body sigh in content as your hips followed the music. Three, four songs had begun and ended as Maddy, Kat and you laughed your way through them and danced like nobody's business. All that resulted in your throat begging for attention. Excusing yourself, the makeshift bar appeared in your line of vision. Just as you finished mixing your drink, your phone vibrated in your pocket. A smile invaded your face since you knew exactly who it was.

God you didn’t know how much longer you could do this with him. You loved him and every passing day without showing it, was suffocating.

Your eyes searched the room, it didn't take long until you found him sitting on his spot on the couch. With the drink now ready in your hands, you sipped before making a path towards him.

You sat down silently, not as close as you would’ve liked but close enough for your legs to touch his. Fez's eyes followed you, subtly checking you out. “Try this” Fez smiled at you softly. He took the liquid out of your hands and drank it, with a hand now on your thigh. You continued smoking. “Good, right?” You beamed.

“It’s sweet. You always liked mixin’ vodka with 'em sweet drinks”

You grinned at his response, feeling more relaxed than usual, entirely due to the rolled up plant, you couldn't help but to lean forward. Fez turned his head following your movements, his eyes focusing solely on you. Right before responding, your index finger slowly traced his jawline feeling his beard and warm skin. He felt like he was your prey, stuck, fated to be captured.

“Glad to hear you remember my taste” Not clueless to the obvious innuendo, he wet his bottom lip subconsciously while his eyes were trapped in yours.

“Shit girl,” he breathed. “How could I not?”

Throughout the next couple of hours, you both kept joking around, smoked and share the same red cup. You were never much of a fan of alcohol anyways, always focused more on smoking weed and that was more than enough. You noticed his hand had never left your thigh, only caressing it back and forward every now and then. I suppose he was getting sick of being suffocated too.

~~~

Ash was looking out the window, waiting. His eyes kept closing and his breathing was beginning to slow down, so you sat in the back besides him, with an arm around his shoulders. He kept quiet, yet when Fez appeared with you by his side and casually informed him you were going with them, he fought back a smile.

God, blame that one half drink you had, blame the joint or the air of that damn house but you were so happy. He was close to you and for a moment everything that transpired in the past year dissolved into thin air. Back there, when Fez first asked if you wanted a ride home, you had shook your head. He slightly frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smirk, when you said you were going to his instead.

To talk.

Finally, some clarity hinted to have emerged from this mess. Now, you guys were ready to make some kind of progress in your relationship. Whatever that might be. When the three of them arrived at their destination, Ash mumbled a goodnight and went straight to his room. Although you both felt tired, adrenaline still pumped through your veins.

Your eyes met his and he reached for your hand, taking you to his room. It felt good, intimate. Just like before.

A sigh escaped your lips when he closed the door and let you take whatever you felt comfortable off. You went to get one of his hoodies like you've done so many times before. He put on some sweats and a shirt, then joined you in bed, underneath the safety of the blankets.

You almost didn't want to break the silence, afraid to shatter the domesticity of it all.

In the middle of the darkness, the moonlight gave you the perfect scenario to be completely open. After all, the best conversations were had in the presence of the moon. For the time being, you guys weren't touching, however, that didn't mean you couldn't feel his warmth. It felt like coming home.

Your bodies were facing each other, silently waiting for the other to start. You gulped, still feeling a little bit high, just high enough to mend things. "I'm ready"

His eyes followed you attentively, searching for any signs of discomfort. He wouldn't even begin the conversation if he found any. You knew that and so, your whole heart was in his hands. "Me too baby"

Your brain tried to find the right thing to say, you had pictured this moment time and time again...It was a constant loop in your head for months, trying to gather courage to make it a reality, yet in the end, you repeatedly lost your nerve.

"You know...shit is different now," You whispered. "I got a job and I'm gonna be out of there soon. You know that right?" The words came out slowly and steady empathising there to make sure he understood it was a given, and not just an empty promise.

He didn't say anything back though, only nodded. "So, why haven't you done somethin'?" You were swallowing your emotions now, attempting to keep it together.

Afraid of what could come next, your eyes closed as you felt your throat closing up. What if he said he was finally over you? That he didn't want to be with you anymore — that he didn't love you anymore.

The slight movement of the sheets made you open your eyes and immediately you noticed he was closer. Trying to control himself, Fez reached out slowly, and held your cheek with his hand. He didn't want to cross a line without talking first. He knew how important it was for you.

"I thought you’d finally realise you can do better." He breathed. His low voice embraced your whole body making it warm and fuzzy. "Your parents are right, I ain't enough for you. Not like that. Better your friend if nothin' else" He uttered, his hand continued to stroke your face like his words weren't cutting you.

"So you gonna make that choice for me? I don't even get a say?" You frowned, absorving his words. It just didn't make sense to you.

Fez shook his head. He would never speak for you, but it was hard to counter the argument in his head. "It ain't like that"

Your eyes brightened with unshed tears, his thumb still caressed your cheek, feeling exasperated once more, your hands reached for his wrist, pulling his hand down. As you held it, a whisper filled the space between the two bodies. "Do you wanna be with me? Do you love me?"

His breath hitched, heart coming alive within his chest. " 'course i do" He stated like it was obvious. Receiving the only assurance you would ever need, you shrugged. "Then that's all I need"

He looked at his hand secured in the middle of yours, in a protective manner. His heart leaped at the same time his head intervened. "It ain't that easy baby. I don't want you to get hurt"

Reality didn't escape you. Everyone knew how dangerous his world could get. "I know. I'm not gonna lay here and tell you that I'm never gonna be afraid. It just...doesn't scare me enough to leave"

A couple of moments went by, as he pondered. You knew how stubborn he could be, even if his heart was entirely in the right place. "Ok" He practically muttered. Butterflies flew to your throat, and all you wanted to do was kiss him right there and then, hug him until your arms went numb...there was just one last thing you needed from him.

"You gotta promise me somethin' fez" You requested. While looking up from your joint hands, he smiled. "Anythin' "

You released his hand, slightly clearing your throat. "You gotta tell me when it starts to get too much in here" Your finger tapped his temple affectionately. "Just...tell me, shit, ask me whatever. I'm here and I choose to be here because I want to"

He nodded, overwhelmed. Fez knew he could count on you, for anything. He just needed to let himself ask. "I promise baby" He smiled, somehow even closer to your face.

When his lips touched yours all you could feel was the sweet sense of relief washing over you.

he still loves me, he wants me

It played like a mantra in your head. You kissed him back as your hands grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer.

“Mine” He muttered, his lips crushing yours. “You mine” His low voice somehow sounded deeper, hotter. You didn’t remember the last time you allowed yourself to give in. With your lips closing around his bottom one, you teased him as you sucked on it. “Yours” you gasped, feeling him now get hard against you. Your left leg was around his hip, being supported by his hand pressing on your thigh. Fez kept pulling you closer as if you’d run if given the chance.

Pulling apart, your lips were red and most likely swollen. You held his gaze, his eyes were still the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. Honest and clear of deception. Happiness floated through you both like a current. "You make me happy" He confessed.

Your hands made their way through his chest, resting now on his neck. You threw him a look of pure bliss, whispering against his mouth. "You make me happy too"

[luckyqueenreign]

WE ARE UP PEOPLE and by people I mean all the Suresh girlies!!!!😆😆😆💖💖💖

This volume was EVERYTHING AND MORE!!! Was definitely worth all the drama we’ve been dealing with for the last few weeks.

1.) Finn is just dirty! Yes Suresh cheated, but Suresh has always admitted that he was wrong and made it known he wanted us back. Finn is a flip flopper who wants what he can’t have. He is in a couple with Kat, knows how she feels about him and he still is trying to get some from MC? I definitely hosed him down with cold water for that! Kat still wants you after the embarrassment you continuously put her through, shame. Also I caught that comment when he said he MAY be open to the idea of marriage BUT I’m still me at the end of the day. So you want to have your cake and eat it to, got it. 😒👌🏾

2.) Not only did Suresh confess that we are is one and only love we found out he was gonna PROPOSE TO US?!?!??🥹🥹🥹 I wanted MC to just hop in his arms after that like they were both ready to commit to one another! Granted, they probably need couple therapy to help with that communication first but they wanted each other!😭😭😭 What if they were gonna propose to each other on the same day?! MY HEART 😭💖 Now we gotta thank Gabi for this cause without her foolishness and calling herself trying to one up MC we would not have gotten that, so for that thank you Gabi. I felt a tad bit bad for her only a tad, but i had to remember the snarky comments she gave us. The one thing I wished FB would have gave us when she was leaving is that we could tell her off like with Arlo and Meerat, but her not only embarrassing herself but then leaving was very satisfying. 😌

3.) Alfie 🙄🙄🙄 I DO NOT WANT YOU! WE ARE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER! What is not clicking?!? You messed that up babe. When he call himself saying that Suresh messed things up with MC I wanted to scream NO YOU DID! And he thought going on a dusty musty and crusty tour would bring feelings back, sir that is dead and gone! Suresh learned his lesson on losing me, you are too little too late. You had the nerve to kiss Kat, recouple with meerat, and then think you can come back to me, kick rocks sir!

4.) Suresh babe, I know you are truly and genuinely sorry but I need that cockiness to comeback. I chose you, I choose you, it was always gonna be you. The fact that he was packing his bags cause he figured my MC didn’t want him broke my heart. I wished since we were alone we could have gotten a cute moment or at least a snog or something! 😫😫

Lastly, that cliffhanger was so unnecessary FB like why?! Why couldn’t we have chosen our couple and then we get a cliffhanger for the others. 😤 Overall this volume was fun and so satisfying! 😄 Def giving me ideas and has me pumped for the boat scene (that will hopefully have bits *🤞🏾*). Sorry for the long thoughts, just had to share them with you and my Suresh girls! This was our week.😏😌

YASSSSS BABE!!!!! This is our time!!!

the Finn storyline had potential I saw where they were going with him but then week two of Finny I was like NAUR this man won't ever actually claim MC and he has a TERRIBLE pattern of it and look EVEN NOW, last week and he STILL hasn't claimed MC. he's waiting for her to do it. For her to have to choose him at the recoupling so that Kat, kicks off on MC. How is that fair? You could've literally done bits with the man that night and the next day he suddenly forgets you exist in the challenge and won't dance on you?? HUH?! NO at this late stage we need someone to CHOOSE us. We need someone that wants us. Sorry Finn, thats not you. And that's not even me getting into the whole "cheating thing"

You're so right about Gabi 💀 if it weren't for her disrespectful ass trying to play us we never wouldve found out that Suresh was trying to propose 😩🥹😭 but not only that Suresh CLAIMED us, said he loved us and that he STILL loved us now. That we were the ONLY person that he ever loved. (unrelated but related if u pick gabi the man is DEVASTATED)

ALFIE...here's what irks me about him. I gave him a shot pre-casa (I always knew I was going to be with Suresh, but your girl was bored) and yes I did kiss Suresh but he never ONCE let me explain myself, he never actually really gave us the truth about him and Kat (who initiated, what they discussed) if he actually truly liked us, we shouldve been able to sort through those issues and discussed them. I couldve even dismissed the fact the he brought meera back from casa, if after he came back if he was all about MC right after. But no was all lovey dovey with Meera, and only remembered we were alive when his girl was sent home. Alfie...you shouldve left with your girl mate!

I AGREE...I NEED COCKY SURESH BACK. THROW ME UP AGAINST A WALL PLEASE

it was unnecessary but I also like it because if we want to see the other routes it will be super easy lol so I actually dont mind it as much

[m0tel6mxzzy]

here’s how euphoria s3 can still work:

ngl if euphoria has an s3 i just wanna see all the girls happy in therapy and developing healthy repaired relationships and nate suffering. they need some succession writers pulling cousin greg succession whump levels of pathetic. make that man a loser as kat knew. not bc he isn’t living up to his expectations but bc he feels no shame about the harm he’s caused others. also, more interaction w elliot and nate just awkwardly in college altho i hope elliot meets a nice guy like a jock similar to who derek was and despite their differences, they grow to find happiness. maybe someone straight lace like lexi but social anxiety-ridden like rue and struggles to communicate, but in times of stress blurts out the truth and elliot just laughs bc he knows and is deeply intuitive.

like so far even when i’m in college nate is not relatable, and in fact the moment u get here you’re surrounded by ppl who are sometimes more advanced than u and i wanna see him crushed under that while refusing to improve and it killing him in this graphic, gory manner with intense greek mythological creature horror effects while the girls are motivated in whatever their choose to do w their lives but also make efforts to repair their relationships to one another.

the aesthetics revert to this glittery s1 while cassie adopts a darker, more effy stonem look but simply “darker and messy” but not fully emo like kat was, while dressing how she truly wants to dress w/o influence of maddy, but also in more complex mixed layers and patterns. lots of dark blues, maroon reds, blacks, greys, and silvers. some vivienne westwood archive looks that sounds cute and lexi wore a miu miu dress lol and bc cassie is now embracing her body but for her own sake and not anyone elses w/o feeling like she has to compensate to just exist. for once, she lets herself exist and dress as she wants even if others make fun of her or find it over the top, but it’s her.

and i’m assuming cassie finds friends who don’t give a shit abt her past w the leaks and in fact affirm she was a victim in that situation by those who manipulated her. the context of this is connected to kat, and rue narrates the negatives of what lat went thru similarly and closes the gap w her by acknowledging her presence (which levinson sounds scared to do) now that barbie is no longer present in the show.

also jules and rue seem to have mended things but i hope they talk bc a lot was left unsaid when they didn’t speak. cassie also needs to apologize to maddy bc it’s clear a part of her regrets her actions (ex: flaunting maddy’s abuser in her face) altho cassie is now part of nate’s abusive cycle and some of it is out of her control and she feels lonely, and knew inside that maddy and her family held that support nate and his disaffected parents could never replace. she does need to find friends outside of maddy tho bc part of her feels like she can’t always admit the truth to her, and college is the perfect atmosphere for new friends who acknowledge but don’t hate the old you.

it’s clear cassie never liked nate and liked the idea of someone who disregarded her past (even if she doesn’t know he was in on the reason the entire school demeans her) and i’d also like rue and lexi being roommates. lexi might be a writer but consider something else more “practical” like a stem field, and rue is undecided but considers becoming a child psychologist. i see jules as an artist that often brings awareness to childhood psychiatric abuses in her art as she grows popular, and moves to ny w maddy eventually

maddy and jules remain friends, and maddy decides to leave in east highland but adapt to college there first, as all she needed was a transition from her traumas associated w high school, and majors in fashion design, marketing, and fashion sustainability while also acing math bc surprise suprise this girl remembers everything. cassie i’m not so sure of, i think she’d be an excellent public speaker (obviously lmao) but i’m not sure what career she’d map out

***also nate’s secret brother, tyler, and anna are addressed

[bobrossstan]

I just finished watching the episode 6 and I have so many things to say. UGGGGG

SPOILERS********* DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE EPISODE 6.

1. Maddy, my poor beautiful girl, I hope she is preparing something to make mf Nate fall. Cause that thing he did to her, I'll go through the screen and kill him myself. Loved the conversation with the boy's mom. Also, THANK GOD IT WAS NOT ROMANTIC. But, I vote for Maddy exploring her sexuality in season 3.

2. Honestly, I laughed at Kat's scene. However, I felt pity for Ethan and loved how he reacted, it shows he is really mature, still, he gives me creepy vides idk why. She was one of my favorite characters in S1, I relate to her as a plus size girl and it was inspiring to see her get confident. I hope that after the rumored discussion with SL, Barbie continues in S3 and we get to see a better development of this loyal fun confident badass girl that she really is.

3. Cassie, I want to idk cry for her and get her to therapy. But, there is no empathy left in me also. WHAT SHE SAID TO LEXI. WHY?! THERE WAS NO NEED. Girl, it's not that you are sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, but that YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HER ABUSER.

4. Suze, I loveeeed her. I mean, we got to see a little bit more about her. Like, she has drinking problems and Cassie is obviously her favorite. But, she is still a good mom imo how she told Cassie straight to her face she was being a hypocrite and it also made me laughed. And she defended Lexi.

4. Nate. Mf Nate. Can we just get rid of this character? I know he was interesting in season 1, but now he is just kinda there. Honestly, I find Elliot as the antagonist WAY more interesting. What Nate did to Maddy and then him trying to get a redemption, no boi, you are not tony stonem.

5. Rue. I have said before, I have a soft spot for her. I hope she gets better and can go to rehab. It was really sad to see the ending with her mom. It was really cute seeing her sweet personality again when offering to help with dinner. Idk, I love her.

6. Jules. I cannot, for the life of me, hate her. Never, that special episode has remained in my mind. I just know she is not good for Rue, at least in a romantic way, I am in favor of a friendship. Howeeeever, that scene with Nate. Wtf. Are u smiling at him? Just get the disc and tell him "ok, no thank u, just Bai", it must have been traumatizing to watch the video. I hope to my heart she never shows it to Elliot, because that mf would take advantage of it.

All in all, liked the episode, not my favorite. But I know it was necessary after last week's episode.

As a Fexi Stan, I will write something separate about them because I have so many things to say, this episode got me feeling butterflies with their scenes.

[axwalker]

AFTER

I’ve never liked the way PB wrote everything that happens after Drake gets shot trying to save MC --they don’t even go to a freaking hospital!! 

I think this might have been done before but I wanted to share my own version of it. I hope you enjoy it!

 This is my contribution for DAY THREE OF TRRAW hosted by @trraw 

This ONE-SHOT belongs to The Walker’s universe but it’s a stand alone. MASTERLIST HERE.

I hope you enjoy it!

Book and Pairing: TRR Drake x Alexis (MC)

Warnings: Shooting, coma. 

ALL MY FICS ARE +18.

Words: 2,868

Disclaimer: All characters and some dialogues and places  belong to Pixelberry. 

Tagging perma:

@mskaneko @drakexwillow @burnsoslow @thegreentwin @kat-tia801

@gkittylove99     @no-one-u-know @twinkle-320 @forallthatitsworth @marshmallowsandfire @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @princessleac1 

@twinkleallnight @tinkie1973 @moneyfordiamonds 

DRAKE

My lungs draw in air, bringing consciousness and chaos rushing back to me. And pain. So much pain. My vision is blurred as if I’m underwater. I can’t move; I can hardly take some shallow breaths. Gunshots, screams, and fire sound through the ringing in my ears. My left arm is heavy with deep, piercing pain. I feel dizzy and disoriented, but I have to make sure where Lexie is. She has to be alive. I remember the gun pointing at her, and terror, as I’ve never known, invades me, carrying adrenaline through my blood.

“Lexie,” I croak. “Lexie!” My gaze darts all over, assessing. A pool of blood, seeping into the floor below me, freeze my veins. Please, God, don’t let it be her. I struggle to sit up, but the sharp pain stops me. Trembling, I turn to see the hole in the skin of my forearm, up to my elbow. The screaming starts again closer, and I realize that Alexis is not hurt.  

My relief is short-lived when I realize Alexis’s crying inconsolably. She seems desperate; her hands are drenched, red. Her dress is soaked up in blood. For a minute, I panic again, but I realize it is my own blood she has all over her. I sigh, relieved, and try to tell her that I’m in fine, but I can’t get the words out of my mouth.

I struggle to stand up, but I feel someone or something trying to keep me pinned where I am. It’s not Lexie because she’s kneeled next to me. Telling me … something. I can’t hear her. Her hands go from my face to my chest and my hair. Huge tears are rolling from her eyes. Suddenly, her soothing touch stop, and I want to scream. Leo is holding her; she seems so broken. I want to take her in my arms, tell her that I’ll be okay, but I can’t speak.

Finally, my eyes fall shut under a wave of dizziness that I can’t avoid. The last thing I see is Alexis’s sad face before blackness comes down.

A thousand stars twinkle in the sky; I’m lying in the middle of the woods. Lexie is next to me, her small hand engulfed by mine. Despite the frosty wind, I feel warm, content for the first time in a long time. I want to stay here, like this, with her forever.

Suddenly, we’re back at the palace, and she’s in my arms. We’re swaying slowly at the rhythm of an old waltz, and I realize it’s the happiest moment of my life. Just moments ago, her warm body was writhing, moaning beneath me. She was mine.

Now she’s here. With me. You have to wake up now, she says. Please, Drake. Wake up, my love. I don’t understand what she’s talking about; I try to hold on to her, but she keeps crying and begging for me to wake up over and over again.

I try to tell her I’m here with her. That I’m never going to let her go. That I regret every second, we wasted because I refused to listen to her. That I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. But I can’t. My eyes refuse to open, my brain to cooperate. She’s so close and so far away from me. This is punishment for chasing after what wasn’t mine. For using Liam’s trust and deceive him. For hurting Lexie. I hurt the woman I loved when I swore I’d never do that. Never love anyone. I shouldn’t love anyone. I know I don’t deserve her, but I just couldn’t help myself.

Her tornado-like personality sweeps people up, and it was so powerful, it drew me in so that I wanted to kiss her and touch her and make her mine.

Please baby, please, stop crying.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes flare open, and my body spasms. Terror surge through my veins as I slam into the floor. Not the floor, a bed. My brain registers white sheets, fluorescent lights, incessant beeping—a sharp pain sliced through me. I try to scream, but something in my mouth and down my throat pushed air into my lungs instead.  

“Drake.” A voice in my head. Soft and sweet. “Drake, look at me.” The voice is outside my head. I reach for it. I need it more than air. Lexie? I try to turn my head.

“Easy, now.” A man’s voice. Authoritative. Hands push me down at the shoulders. “Calm down,” he says. “That’s it. Don’t fight the machine.”

I try to inhale and exhale, but I can’t control my breathing. All the while, fluorescent lights come and go—my eyes. I’m opening and closing my eyes. I’m in here. This is me. The pain. Holy fuck, the pain. A red-hot sledgehammer to my right arm.

“Drake,” Lex says. Warm fingers fold around my hand. “It’s all right. Try to lie back.” Slowly my brain put things together. A bed with white sheets and beeping machines. This is a hospital. And Lex is here.

“Lexie,” I say. Or try to. The fucking tube in my mouth and down my throat blocks the word. I gag as more air pushes in.

“I’ll call the attending,” says the man, who must be a nurse. “Just stay with him. Keep talking and help get him oriented.”

Stay with me, my Lexie. Forever. My eyes fight hard to stay open. A plastic tube and white tape obscure my vision, but through and around it, I see her. Standing over me with brown hair falling down around her shoulders. Like a beautiful, peaceful dream after a long, dark night.

“Hey, Walker,” she says softly. Her little fingers intertwine with mine; her other palm runs smoothly over my forehead. “You’re all right. Just listen to my voice.” Her touch is so soft on my head. “You’re on a ventilator. Okay? It’s breathing for you. Try not to fight it. I’m right here. Keep listening to me. The respirator is to help you breathe until you come out of the sedation. That’s all.”

I wink again, unable to do anything else. Lexie reaches out her hand and caresses my cheek. I move my eyes and see Li and Savvy behind her.

My eyes fall shut in intense relief. My best friend and my little sister. Memories of safety and love from my childhood play on fast-forward—scraped knees and the time I fell from the treehouse. They were there for me. Over their shoulders, I see Bertrand and Max smiling. Savvy is here, Lexie is here, and Liam is all right. Everyone is.

“Hey there, Drake.” A tall man in a white coat is at the side of the bed now. “I’m Dr. Lahela. Let’s take a look at you…” He shines a light in my eyes. “You’re a very lucky man, Mr. Walker. You’ll need some physical therapy for your arm, but you’ll be fine.”

Alexis takes my hand and squeezes it. “You better never scare me like this again, Walker.” Her voice finally breaks. “I can’t live without you, Drake. Please, don’t do that again.”

I can’t talk, so I look at her trying to compel everything I feel for her. I treasure every shy smile, every kiss, every single laugh. I love her, and I don’t care if I deserve it or not. I’m never letting her go.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Year Later

The day is finally here. I’m not one for nerves and that bullshit, but there’s no ignoring the tightness in my chest as I walk down the street. Even though I have the address memorized, I recheck my phone to verify that I’m at the correct address. It’s there in my text messages, the location Lexie sent.

We’ve been together for more than a year, and sometimes I’ll get texts like these. Lexie loves to be spontaneous. I never know if I’m going to show up and find some dark bar where she wants me to fuck her in the bathroom… or if it’s going to be this really fucking cool bookshop where we’ll linger for hours, talking about books before she eventually buys both our favorites.

Those dates mean everything to me. I love the sex—fucking love the sex—but Lexie is a world into herself, and I could spend the rest of my life exploring her and still not know everything there is to know.

Today’s different, though

It’s not just any day, not just any date.

It’s been a year since the attack.

I touch the box in my pocket, take a deep breath, and push through the doors and into the restaurant. After a quick word, the hostess leads me up a set of stairs to the roof. I shake my head as I look around.

Lexie does nothing halfway.

The roof isn’t huge, but there is a gazebo in the middle that I’m nearly certain isn’t there during regular events. A small bar has been placed in the side, and the rest of the space is cleared of tables and chairs. It will just be us tonight.

She’s leaning against the railing and looking out across Portavira. We’re high enough to have a decent view of the sea. Personally, I only have eyes for her.

She’s wearing flat sandals and a stunning red dress; it clings to her body all the way down to her knees before flaring out. I will never know how she walks in the damn thing, but I appreciate how good her ass and tiny waist look on it as I walk over and lean against the railing next to her.

“I’m surprised you didn’t have me jumping on a plane to find you this time.” Something she occasionally does. She loves to travel. And I love her: ‘Surprise, I’m in Athenes, come get me’ texts.

“I did consider it.” Lexie turns to me with a grin. Her mouth is painted a crimson shade identical to her dress. Fuck, the woman is so beautiful it makes my chest ache. Not just her face. All of her, inside and out. She bumps me with her elbow. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I love you.”

Her sexy grin turns into a full on smile that lights up her entire face. “You’re such a guy. All it takes is a short dress and a red lipstick.” She teases.

“It’s not that.” I take her hand and tug her toward the table set up for us. As we walk over, I study her expression. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” Lexie catches my raised eyebrow and sighs. “Look, this day is never going to be easy for me. I thought I lost you, but I promise I’m okay.” She hesitates. “How are you holding up?”

I answer her honestly. “I’m fine. I know this was a horrible day to you, but I barely remember anything.” I take Lexie’s hand and brush my mouth over her knuckles. “So, why’d you pick this place?”

She looks around, the light wind pulling at her silky hair. “It’s romantic.” She turns her hand in mine to lace our fingers together. “We’ve both been working a lot lately. While I fully intend to take you home, so you fuck my brains out, I thought it’d be a nice change of pace to have a nice Italian dinner first.” She smiles. “And this place has a cool seasonal menu.”

The bartender delivers drinks that Lexie must have ordered for us—both Macallan’s 18 years. We order and then sip in silence for a few moments. I shift the ring box, an ever-present reminder of what I plan for tonight at the beach.

I’m not used to feeling off-center. I sure as fuck have wasted too much time doubting myself. I do not doubt that I love her wildly. That she’s the woman for me. It’s her answer that frightens me.

And I’m still not sure tonight is the night for this.

“Drake.”

I realize I’ve been spacing out and grimace. “Sorry. What did you say?”

Lexie leans in, her expression going playful. “I said, ‘Is that a box in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?’”

I follow her gaze down to where the square is very plainly in view pressed against the slacks of my front pocket. “Well, fuck.”

Her eyes go wide. “Seriously? It’s not earrings or a bracelet or something?”

I pull the box out of my pocket, and I’m fucked up to realize my palms are sweaty. Jesus fuck, this is not how I planned to do this, but here we are. “It’s not earrings or a necklace, no.” I set the box on the table between us and take a breath. This might not be how I planned to go about things, but that doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Very little goes to plan when Lexie is involved; that’s one of the things I love most about her. I’ve learned to roll with the punches.

I take Lexie’s hands and hold her gaze.

“That night, I was terrified. When I saw that gun aimed at you, I thought I might lose you. And I can’t live without you.” Fuck, this is harder than I expected. It’s not the opening myself up that’s so challenging. No subject is off-limits with us. It’s more that I want the perfect words to describe how I feel, and I’m shit at words. I’m not a damn poet. I’m just me, and just me will have to be perfect because she deserves nothing less than perfection. “This year has been really fucking good, O’Brien. Every time I think I can’t love you more, you go and prove me wrong. I love the adventures and shit we get into together, just like I love the long afternoons we spend with takeout and movies and board games and shit. And the lazy mornings in bed. I love it all.”

I release one of her hands to open the box. It’s an heirloom, but it meant so much to my grandmother, I hope she likes it. Lexie deserves perfect. It’s a single ruby against a simple setting that lets the gem stand on its own.

Lexie stares at it for a long moment and then at me. “Drake, that’s so perfect.”

“You’re one hell of a woman.” I don’t move, barely breathe. “Will you marry me, Lexie?”

She screams and throws herself at me. “Of course I will.” Her lower lip quivers a little. “Damn, you’re going to make me cry after saying all those sweet, perfect things.” She holds still while I slip the ring onto her finger. She holds it up, smiling at the way it glints in the city lights. “A perfect fit.”

“Just like us.”

“Just like us,” she repeats. A heartbeat passes. Another as I try to rein myself. Then I lean down, take her face in my hands, and kiss her desperately like she’s the last thing I’ll ever taste. I kiss her with the power surging through my veins, with all the strength of my desire and happiness over this day. With all the want that’s burning through me—want of more than just her body. Everything I long for, everything I hold precious, I pour into her mouth—and my Lex responds beautifully. Her arms twine around my waist, pressing her soft belly against me. I’m so damn hard, I just want to push myself against her until she spreads her legs and lets me in. Instead, I slide my tongue into the softness of her mouth. She gasps. It makes me smile around her lips, knowing that I can make my girl gasp with just a slip of my tongue. I explore her slowly, wrapping an arm around her back and cradling her head, so when I thrust my tongue into the hot, soft sanctuary of her sexy mouth, she doesn’t have to work to stay upright. I kiss her soft and slow, and longer, harder until she’s gasping and my hand is slowly caressing her neck. Her back is pressed against the rail, and I’m thrusting against her. She’s rocking against me, too, and I stop. I see the waitress coming. We’ll have to wait a few hours until we’re together at the cabin, and I have time to explore every inch of her. Even if I know, it will never be enough.  

She’s blushing, and it’s so fucking adorable I want to kiss her all over again. “You know, for a guy who says you’re not good with words, that was one hell of a proposal.”

“I just love you so fucking much, baby.”

“That’s why I’m going to marry you.” She hooks the back of my neck and brings me down for a kiss.

Lexie leans back and meets my gaze. “I don’t suppose you’re thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we should pay the tab, get the food to go, and take it back to our cabin.”

“A man after my own heart.” She kisses me again, sweeter this time. “I love you, Drake Walker. So fucking much. I can’t wait to marry you.”

[not-a-healthy-human]

Lina: I'm the kind of gay who opens the doors for random people

Jane: I'm the kind of gay who names her car and cries whenever it gets a scratch

Cathy: I'm the kind of gay who randomly pops up on your hoodie and smells of pure coffee

Anna: I'm the kind of gay who wears flannels but is soft af

Kat: I'm the kind of gay who needs therapy but is happy ignoring that

Anne: ... I'm the kind of gay who sneaks into a mac Donald's playground, hides in the slide, and scares any kid who dares jump in

The queens: ... Why?

(I'm all of these :3)

[twinkleallnight]

A Twisted Tale

Chapter 1

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Word count: 1787

Characters: Liam, Leo, Riley.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

Warning: None.

A/N: An AU of The Royal Romance paving its way through mixed emotions of wants, needs and desires, of revenge and regrets, of trust, faith and hope.

A joint venture brought to you with love by @annekebbphotography and @twinkleallnight .

Liam’s POV

It is one of those days again. I have to attend a UN function and I am not looking forward to it. There’s more than one reason, one is that none of my friends have joined me for this function, and the other reason is that the girl I am pinning for doesn’t want anything to do with me. How in the world will I win her over? I have tried everything, but I am almost sure she sees me as my father.

I look myself over in the floor length mirror, I look the same as always, the regal king. Did I want to be king? No, but when my father died unexpectedly and my brother took off, I had no choice but to take over. That is when things changed for me and now, I am fighting an inner battle with myself.

After a short drive, I walk into the hotel where the UN function was being held. Like always everything is posh and regal. What I wouldn’t give for something to be a little different. I scan the room and my eyes land on a petite brunette. She has a pink floor length dress on, it hugs her curves perfectly. My feet follow their own path as they walk over to her. She isn’t like everyone else, she’s open and her smile is divine.

I freeze as my heart stops when she laughs. Why am I feeling like this when I am in love with someone else? Maybe it’s just because I am feeling lonely.

She turns around and locks eyes with me and I swear I feel my heart skip a beat. She’s got the most dazzling blue eyes, but it doesn’t compare to the eyes that haunt my dreams. What I wouldn’t give to be with my love right now.

“Hi, I’m Riley Brooks.” She holds her hand out to me to shake. I take her small hand in mine and smile at her.

“Liam Rys.”

Her eyes go wide and she drops in a curtsy. Her cheeks have a faint pink tint to them.

“No formalities please. It’s just us.” I give her a reassuring smile.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She says relieved.

There was something about her that made me want to get to know her better, not romantically, but as friends. She makes me feel at ease.

A song comes up and I give her a wicked grin as she shakes her head from side to side. “Would you like to dance?” I hold my hand out to her as everyone else watches us.

“I would love to dance.” She says through gritted teeth and takes my hand. I lead her to the dance floor and pull her closer to me.

We move together perfectly, she leans in. “I am so going to get you for this.” She whispers, and for some reason that statement excites me.

“Do your worst.” I twirl her out and pull her back to me. She laughs as we move around the dance floor perfectly.

After the song ends, we walk off the dance floor and towards the bar.

“You are not what I expected. When they told me that a king was going to be here, I thought he was going to be old and uptight. I am happy it’s you though.” She glances at me to see my expression. All I could do was smile at her.

We order our drinks and take a seat at one of the tables. We talk about everything and anything.

I learned that she has a political degree and has applied for a PA position in Europe. I also learn that it is just her, no family and that she hopes to find that special someone one day. She is the fresh air that I need in my life.

I look at my watch and see that It’s almost time for me to meet Leo, but I don’t want to say goodbye to Riley just yet.

“What would you say if I offered you an PA position at the palace?” I ask without hesitation. I need a personal assistant and with what I see and heard, she will be perfect for the position.

“Are you being serious right now?” She basically jumps up and down in her seat.

“Yes… I want you to be my personal assistant. You will have to come back to Cordonia with me tomorrow.” I raise my brow and wait for her to explode with excitement.

“I would love to. Where should I meet you and what time?” Her eyes sparkle with excitement and I can’t help but get lost in them.

“Meet me at the airport at 8am. The flight leaves at 8:30. Please don’t be late.” I look at my watch again and know that I have to leave right now.

“I will be there.” She smiles as I get up.

“I have to go. I will see you tomorrow.” I lean down and kiss her cheek. It doesn’t feel the same as when I kiss HER. The one that has had my heart for so many years. I need to speak to Leo, he would be able to help me get my mind right.

I give Riley one more wave before I walk out of the room heading to where I have to meet Leo.

*******************

I walk into a dimly lit bar and see my elder brother sitting at the bar. He looks happy and relaxed.

“Sorry, I’m late…” I apologise.

Leo smirks at me. “Your majesty!” He curtsies teasing me.

“Always the funny one. How have you been brother?”

I take a seat next to him as he pushes a glass of whiskey over to me. I need this so badly. I have two pairs of eyes haunting me right now.

“ Never felt better.” Maybe he is trying to express his new found freedom after abdication.

“Are you alright little brother? You seem delusional.”

I have as I take a sip of whiskey letting it burn my throat as it goes down.

He continues prodding. “Are the kingly affairs burdening you or the extra affection for the king from the fairer sex exhausting you?”

“I…. I’m confused….” Leo raises his brow at me motioning for me to continue talking. “I’m in love with someone but she hates me or should I say our family. Or that’s what I gathered. And then tonight I met a girl with the most dazzling blue eyes and the sweetest personality. But she’s just not Her….” Leo nods in understanding.

“Green versus blue or green versus brown.. maybe we Rhys men are always in a dilemma to choose.”

I know he is comparing my situation with his own. Referring to Madeleine’s green and Kate’s brown.

“It’s not for me choosing. I know who I want, she just doesn’t want me. To make it worse I am taking the girl I met, back to Cordonia with me.

“Woah! You mean you have your baklava in the freezer back at home and you are buying cronuts to take home?”

I spit the whiskey I had just taken a sip of, out and cough. “What…. No not at all. She will be my new assistant.”

Leo sits there unaffected just smiling at my state. “The assistant, like the billionaire’s assistant from the romantic books?” He nudges.

“Nooo, it will strictly be professional….” I get half a smile as I take a small sip again. “And maybe a bit to make someone jealous.” I know I am all confident with Leo,but let’s face it I will never do anything more than just attend functions with her.

“All work and no play makes the king a dull boy”. Leo tries to push in his playboy streak.

“I will have you known that I am not dull at all. I have my fun.” I say a matter of a fact.

Leo’s eyes widen to take in the new image of his younger brother displayed in front of him.

“Close your mouth big brother, you will catch a fly.” It’s my turn to tease.

Leo’s open mouth turns into a wide grin. “I will make sure to follow ‘The Trend’ to read about your adventures. Make the Rhys blood proud, baby brother!” He raises his glass in a toast. “So what advice are you looking for Li?”

I consider him for a moment. What did I want from him?

“How do I make Her fall in love with me? How do I make her see I am more than just a Rhys.”

“You have been drooling over that girl since you grew balls. Had it been me, by now I would have given her the magic of my physical therapy. That always works for me.”

I wince at the imagination of my brother in action. Before Leo can give more varied ideas I raise my hand. “ I think that’s enough food for thought.”

Leo shrugs, “ As you wish. I would still say, be bold and try taking some risk. What fun life is without a bit of adrenaline rush?”

I nod and ask for the bill.

On that note, I bid Leo farewell and get back to my hotel to prepare for the journey back home.

********

I wake up with a heavy headache the next morning. Why can’t I get the two ladies out of my head. It is like they are playing ping pong in my mind. ‘I need to get back home. I need to make Her see that I care about her. I need her to see that I am not like my father.’ I get ready with that thought.

*************

I have been waiting for Riley at the tarmac. She messaged that she was running late. I think of calling Her in the meantime. I heard the phone ringing and it dragged me into her thoughts.

She must be sitting at her tea table at this hour. Her slender manicured fingers playing at the rim of the cup making circles. Her pink lips touching the porcelain softly, sipping the hot beverage. The skin on her throat would be moving slowly, warming up as she would swallow her drink. I have imagined my fingers over her silk smooth neck, many times. Her sharp voice pulls me back from my day dream. “Hello” At the same time when Riley calls, “Hey Liam. Sorry I got late.”

I signal Riley to hold on for a minute.

“Good evening to you, Olivia .”

Olivia snaps, “You are with someone? And calling me?” She abruptly hangs up with that.

My head is hung low. Riley looks at me questioning.

All I can utter is, “Bad timing!”

∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆|∆

Tags : @ao719 @anjanettexcordonia @bebepac @charlotteg234 @choicesficwriterscreations @cordonia-gothqueen @drakewalker04 @eadanga @gkittylove99 @glaimtruelovealways @krsnlove @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @idontknowwhysblog @jessiembruno @jovialyouthmusic @jaxsmutsuo @kat-tia801 @kingliam2019 @khoicesbyk @shewillreadyou @lisha1valecha @lovablegranny @mrswalkers-blog @mom2000aggie @neotericthemis @no-one-u-know @ntoraplayschoices @princessleac1 @ritachacha @secretaryunpaid @sirbeepsalot @speedyoperarascalparty @shanzay44 @texaskitten30 @txemrn @queenrileyrose @sanchita012 @sfb123 @sweatyrysconnoisseur @theroyalheirshadowhunter @aestheticartsx @yourmajesty09 @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @drakewalkerfantasy @els31 @rainbowsinthestorm @darley1101 @the-soot-sprite @ladyangel70 @rafasgirl23415 @anotherbeingsworld @callmeellabella @msjr0119 @walker7519 @ofpixelsandscribbles @cocomaxley @lodberg @jared2612 @gnatbrain @cmestrella @queenjilian @iaminlovewithtrr @marshmallowsaremyfavorite

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

"That one insane cousin" (wip)

sooo, for some context, I wanted to do a Kaijudo (rise of the dule masters) crossover. And in order to do that, I decided that my Kaijudo Oc Ren would be distantly related to Max on his mom's side. also Twitter. anyway, these are just various parts of the 5,999 words I forced my had was forced to typ that I think are nice or funny. you may call me out if you wish I have no shame.

Forge Ferrus spit out the coffee he had been drinking and started coughing like crazy, startling the other three people in the room.

“What’s the wrong Commander?!” Kat said standing up looking at her leader concerned. Once Forge got his coughing under control he looked over the document on his phone one more time before answering.

“Steel just sent me an Email” he wheezed

“Did something happen to Max?” Berto asked quickly, pulling up the radar and footage from all around Copper Canyon to see if their boy was in trouble.

“No, Max and Steel are fine. Or well Steel is. Max, I think Max is freaking out”

“Why would the kid be fracking out? Is he or is he not okay?” Jefferson asked, taking a sip of his own cup of joe.

“Remember that school project, Max was telling us about”

“The one with the DNA swab?”

“That one, they got back the results today and Steel sent me a copy. Turns out I have a niece”

It was Jefferson’s turn to do a spit take.

-

@MaxMcG to @SRGC_

HelpImBlueNow: umm hi this might seem weird but my biology class is doing this genetics project, and as I was looking through the results, you just so happened to be one of them. Again I know this sounds insane, especially since I spent the better part of my day more or less tracking you down only to find this twitter acc

HelpImBlueNow: But here's the proof!

HelpImBlueNow: {File of the genetic results}

HelpImBlueNow: you don’t get to answer right away! I know this might be confusing, like I straight up freaked out when I found out so take your time in making a decision just know that I would be so down for getting to know you.

[2:00]

SlitherininRed: holy shiisdahvkjsdbh

[2:05]

SlitherininRed: sorry my friend snatched my phone earlier today, just got it back.

[2:07]

SlitherininRed: uhh ok this is intense…

[2:20]

SlitherininRed: Okay so I talked it over with my friends and family and they said I should give you a shot since you seem legit

SlitherininRed: just like know I haven't had the best luck with bio fam, the last person I met that had blood relation to me gaslit me into having a panic attack

SlitherininRed: I really hope you aren't insane

[3:30]

HelpImBlueNow: oh my gosh I'm so sorry I had no idea that must have sucked :( Promise I'm not insane, we well at least that insane.

[3:37]

SlithrininRed: oof ya it 100% did suck, still in therapy for it, no need 4u to be sorry tho not like u caused it.

SlitherininRed: and thank you for reassuring me you're not that crazy.

[3:45]

HelpImBlueNow: np lol, I’m Max btw Maxwell Mcgrath

[3:48]

SlitherininRed: Serenity Gardner, but I prefer to go by Ren lol

SlitherininRed: anyway I got work soon, wanna talk more later? I’m free around 7 pm.

[4:00]

HelpImBlueNow: Sure! I'm down 7’s good, just know my mom and uncle might join in.

[4:05]

SlitherininRed: That's fine, my folks might as well

SlitherininRed: anyway gtg, talk to you later ig

[4:08]

HelpImBlueNow: {thumbs up emoji}

[4:10]

-

SlitherininRed @SRGC_

“If anyone asked I was on the bench”

-

“Even when it’s in a city that has supervillains?” Max chimed in.

“Phff rather deal with supervillains than brush up on my French honestly.”

-

“How was your flight,” Molly asked as the three started to walk to the exit.

“Eh, it was alright the inflight movies were garbage though, I mean seriously there’s only so much Disney one human can take”

-

“I find the company that Miss Gardner keeps is quite interesting”

“Phff of course you’d say that”

“Yes I would, after all, it's not every day you see a young lady make a flamethrower out of a lighter and perfume”

“For the record, Lucy isn’t an arsonist, that idiot was trying to mug us and she just reacted faster than any of us anticipated. Besides, I blame Hector for giving us all lighters”

“So you say”

“Just shut up and drive David”

“Sure thing Ryan” with that the divider slid into place.

____

Anywho, I have an ult versions where Ren and Max ain't related and Ren's like 25 and a detective working for N-Tech but I'm not going to post that as it's mainly a crackfic(and I want to keep it for myself) but I do have two more one of which I have yet to write but the other one I have and it's about one of my two MaxSteel Oc's CeCe. but ill post about her another time.

[kozykat]

Hi Kat. I've been following you since your KatyKlee days. Haven't been on tumblr in a while so I was just scrolling through your page but I'm glad to see you doing well! Your page is inspiring and makes me want to start my own inner healing, which I've been on and off again with. I'm just wondering if u have any tips on how to start? Or how to stop self-sabotaging? I have severe social anxiety and lots of trauma. I'm finding it come out a lot in things I do and seems to get worse as I get older

Hi! It took me years to get to where I am now and my healing is still an ongoing journey. This may be long so please bare with me.

I completely know how you feel with social anxiety and complex trauma. You’ve already started the first step, by asking for advice and acknowledging your mental health struggles. It’s good to start by indentifying the root of your traumas, because some traumas require different resources/healing techniques.

When my mental health was at its worst in 2017, I started going to grief counseling, I got on antidepressant/anti anxiety medication (not for everyone) and then I started going to therapy. Therapy and medication really helped me work through all of my complex traumas from childhood, to my young adulthood. It’s easy to self sabotage and to wallow, because that’s what’s comfortable and how your brain has functioned for longer than your heart wants. I started to challenge my dark thoughts and replace them with healing thoughts. It sounds simple and cliche, but it’s harder to make a habit of it than one may think. I found simple coping mechanisms that help me and I use them whenever I need them. I often find myself thinking “if I’ve made it through everything in my past, I can overcome whatever may be on the horizon” and that has really helped give me the confidence to continue to heal. Patience and effort is the key to healing deep rooted anxiety and traumas. The journey to healing is long and gruelling, but if you continue on that journey, you too will see a change within yourself. You don’t have to heal your mind & heart alone, but it starts and continues with you <3

[meganshinsou-tm]

i’m still here. (a)

☙ pairing: bakugou x reader / bakugou x kirishima

☙ theme:  angst

☙  cw/tw: profanity, grief/mourning, emotional distress, slight talk of wanting to die, could be seen as unhealthy grieving but there are no right or wrong ways to grieve, talk of death.

☙  a/n-request: so here it is, the spontaneous continuation of ‘i’m here’ - i just couldn’t help myself, I needed to get this out of my system. It hurts for a bit but I promise it gets better - also hope you don’t mind the end pairing, baku needs love and he deserves to be happy with that person. 

It’s been four months and Bakugou is - well he’s as good as he can be.

Sometimes he likes to think that the days are getting progressively better but then he finds himself awake way past the hour of midnight, walking around the house aimlessly and searching. Searching for something that he doesn’t even know. After a few more hours of talking to himself and cleaning random things, eating a small snack, Bakugou finally finds himself in bed tossing and turning until sleep finally takes him. 

Izuku and Kirishima have become his rocks and practical caretakers. 

They check in on him constantly but in a way that isn’t overbearing. Both of them make sure that their friend doesn’t stay holed up inside the house for longer than needed by becoming gym buddies, dragging him out to guys’ nights with them and the squad. Bakugou goes without too much resistance. Of course he rather stay in and wait for something that’ll never come but he knows he has to keep his sanity and he knows that you would kick his ass for sulking and wallowing in grief for too long. So he goes and by the end of the night, he’s always happy that he did but he’ll never admit that to the two idiots he calls his best friends. 

And more than anything, Bakugou is grateful how they have never brought up the topic of … moving on. Because they know better - everyone does. 

Of course everyone agrees it’s way too soon to even consider Bakugou trying dating again but not only that, anyone who knows the guy knows that he probably never will even think about trying to find anyone else. You were it for him.

You weren’t like everyone else. 

It’s cliche to say but you were indeed special - you completed Bakugou in the ways he was imperfect and flawed yet you still loved those parts of him. His edges were still rough and brash but you somehow softened them without changing truly who he was because well - you loved him for who he was and the way he was. Such a fucking sap you always were. 

Bakugou doesn’t move to a new home, he doesn’t want to or need to. Your home wasn’t massive; it was the perfect size for just the two of you. 

And it was only a few weeks ago that he finally found the strength to part with your belongings. It was a rough day but thankfully the whole squad was there. Kirishima may or may not have tried to bribe them with beer and food but obviously it wasn’t needed, they were gonna be there for their friend no matter what. 

Starting out, Bakugou was okay while packing everything. Everyone reminisced on fond and happy memories of you. Izuku and Kirishima felt a sense of relief from seeing the blonde genuinely smiling a few times and hearing his laughter. For a moment they thought everything would go smoothly for the rest of the day but nothing ever really goes smoothly when you’re saying goodbye to what’s left of your deceased spouse.

It was when Mina and Sero started to pull out of the driveway in the U-Haul that Bakugou bolted out the door after them. Kirishima and Izuku were right behind him and barely managed to catch him before being hit by a truck. 

The three of them rolled around on the black-top road, all shouting and crying. 

“Let me fucking go you pieces of shit! Fuck!”

Kirishima bared his teeth, trying to fight back his own sobs from the heart wrenching sight of seeing his best friend like this.

“Kats, please calm down, don’t do this!”

Bakugou only growled and tried to blast off an explosion in his face but Kirishima knew better and hardened his skin to block it. Izuku choked on his own tears and ended up using black whip to help pin down the uncontrollable blonde, despite him and Kirishima being over 200lbs and holding him down the best they could.

“Kacchan, you could’ve just fucking died, you’re gonna hurt yourself!”

“I don’t fucking care … let me … I - I can be with her.”

Izuku and Kirishima both went rigid at those words and looked at each other with tear filled eyes before resting their weight on top of their broken friend in a pile there in the middle of the road. For the next half hour they all stayed there, crying and holding Bakugou together until he finally exhausted himself and didn’t fight about Kirishima picking him up and carrying him back inside.

“Kats I don’t care if you hate me for doing it but I’m calling a professional tomorrow. We love you … I love you man but we can only do so much for you. Please … just let us help you. We can’t lose someone else we love.”

Izuku nods in agreement and they bring Bakugou to the bedroom and tuck him into the bed like a child. He doesn’t complain or try to bite their heads off for it. 

“We’re proud of you for today Kacchan, please know that. Y-You still have the important things,” Izuku sniffles as he places a worn-looking rag doll cat in Bakugou’s arms. “You’ll always have the important things.”

Kirishima tries to smile as Bakugou turns his back to them and cuddles the item close to his face. It's instinctive and totally against his control but Kirishima reaches out and combs his fingers through Bakugou’s hair and it gives him hope when he feels the blonde relax under his touch.

“Try to get some rest Blasty. We aren’t gonna leave you alone so if you need anything, we’ll be here.”

A few weeks and plenty of therapy sessions later, Bakugou is back to doing okay. He’s back to being able to stay home alone without needing Izuku or Kirishima crashing on his couch. He returns to work and some days it helps while on others it hurts. 

It’ll take more time to get used to Kirishima being his new side-kick but as long as it's him, he’ll be okay. 

Life slowly but surely starts to get easier … until those nights like tonight where Bakugou is wide awake at four in the morning. It’s been a while since its happened and truly Bakugou is exhausted but he just can’t sleep - he doesn’t mind though. It’s nights like these where he’s glad to still be awake with tired eyes and body because it’s nights like these where you come to him.

It may be crazy but Bakugou is adamant that you’re still there sometimes, your spirit at least. And when he's exhausted and delirious enough like he is now, you’ll become more than just memories and a presence. Soon enough you start to become real again and he can feel you holding him close and petting his hair. Feel those soft kisses on his lips and all over his face and neck. Bakugou can see those bright eyes again and feel your own warm skin against his in bed. 

And even though he really is getting better at all of this, he still has his moments. He’s only human after all. A human who lost the most precious and important thing in his life so tragically. So no one can blame him for feeling the things he does and for having a down moment - hell even his therapist reassured him of that. 

‘Everyone grieves in their own way and these occurrences don’t mean you’re crazy. Just as long as you see them for what they truly are and know that eventually they will end.’

It hurts to think that these will end so Bakugou cherishes them and prolongs them for as long as he fucking can. He gives into the phantom feelings, finds comfort in them. Then he starts to hear you and you talk to each other. He tells you how some days he’s okay and others he just misses you so fucking much and he doesn’t want to go on, he wants to be with you. 

In those times you quiet him with kisses and hums, telling him it’s not time yet. 

“The world needs you,” is whispered upon his skin and it makes him groan in disagreement.

“Fuck the what the world needs - I need you!”

You chuckle and lightly flick the tip of Bakugou’s nose and he wishes it hurt like it used to.

“You don’t need me Katsuki, if anything, I’m not what you need at all right now … at least not like this,” you speak quietly but still smile. “But you will always have me. I’m all around you.”

Bakugou pouts and you brush your thumb over his bottom lip before looking down and taking his hand in yours. Your finger traces the hard edges of the wedding band that’s now a matte black color after he found a jeweler who was able to add a small amount of your cremains into the material of it.

“You literally take me everywhere you go and even before then, I’ve never left you. Someone’s gotta watch over your crazy ass. I’m just glad Red is there to help me out.”

Bakugou smirks and moves to nuzzle the crook of your neck, his hair tickling the underside of your jaw and causing you to giggle and hold him tighter. The sound pains him and Bakugou starts to softly cry. You hold him even tighter and he holds you with a death grip.

That feeling is returning in him and he hates it. It’s overwhelming and it's cold. It’s hopelessness.

“How am I supposed to keep doing this? I don’t want to spend four more months like this … I don’t want to spend years like this … fucking - tell me how I can get you back, I need you … I fucking need you so much, I can’t - “

“Shh, baby breathe, I'm here - you know I’m always here.”

Bakugou frowns hard and buries his face into your chest to muffle the heartbreaking sob he lets out, his fists start to smoke and he shakes his head.

“But you’re not! You’re not fucking here!”

He pulls away from the pillow he’s burning now in order to breathe and scream out in agony. Bakugou continues until his vocal chords feel raw and there’s a giant hole in the wall above the headboard from him repeatedly punching it. Looking down through teary eyes, Bakugou notices his knuckles are bloody and throbbing in pain. A few minutes pass and he’s on his knees hunched over in the middle of the bed, sheet-rock is crumbled all around him on the covers and he sighs, wiping angrily at his tears. 

Soon the feeling of fingers in his hair, scratching against his scalp soothingly causes Bakugou to deflate and he sinks back as you hold him close, back to your chest and your cheek pressed against the top of his hair. He clings to your arms around him. Tears roll from his irritated and red eyes, snot down his nose as he sniffles. 

“I’m sorry,” you both whisper out in unison.

You press kiss after kiss against soft ash blonde hair, against ruddy warm cheeks and tear filled eyes. Bakugou suppresses his whimper, he can feel what's coming and he doesn’t like it.

“Call him … you need him right now, do this for me please,” you speak upon the side of Bakugou’s neck. 

Bakugou grunts and leans over to grab his phone from the nightstand, laying down on his side in the process. You move with him and place yourself before him to hold close, letting his arms wrap tight around you. The ghosting of fingers against his cheekbone makes Bakugou look down at you with red tired eyes. He can see the choice in your own and can feel it in the way you lean in and kiss his lips so softly that it feels like air before pressing your forehead against his.

“You’ll be okay Katsuki, I know you will. Just - breathe for me; and always know that I’m right here baby,” you whisper while placing your palm to the space over his heart.

Bakugou’s bottom lip trembles and he nods. He shifts to press his face into your hair, inhaling the scent of strawberries and cream that's ingrained in his senses as his eyes squeeze shut before kissing the top of your head and letting out a long breath.

“I’ll be okay.”

When his eyes open, Bakugou swallows the lump in his throat and eases the death grip he has on the charred pillow. He sighs and swipes a finger across the screen of his phone and moves to lay on his back, pressing the device to his ear.

It rings only a few times before a raspy voice is answering with concern.

“Kats, what’s wrong?”

Bakugou looks up from his newspaper and cup of coffee when the door to the backyard opens. He smirks and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and watches as Kirishima and Ghost both come barreling in. The giant mastiff is slobbering and panting, so is Kirishima, except the slobbering part - well sort of. 

“Whew - oh hey sleeping beauty,” Kirishima gleams and takes a step towards where Bakugou is seated at the kitchen counter, lips puckered and arms open wide.

He’s stopped by a finger to the mouth, halting him from going any further.

“Don’t even think about it, you’re disgusting!

Kirishima gives those stupid puppy eyes that everyone, even himself, were always weak to and a whimper coming from below makes Bakugou look down to see Ghost also giving her own literal puppy eyes. 

“You’re both pathetic, there’s no way I’m - oof!”

Bakugou is tackled off his seat and onto the ground by Kirishima, knocking his glasses off in the process. Ghost joins in and smothers him in an abnormal amount of slobber as she licks his face excitedly and Kirishima kisses his cheeks - which, gross, he doesn’t even care that he’s kissing where there is drool. But Bakugou can’t help cackling and grinning as he tries to shove them off. 

 “Both of you fucking stink, get offa me! You need baths!”

Kirishima smirks and pulls away enough for Bakugou to wipe his face.

“I’ll make you a deal Blasty, I shower then give this pretty lady a bath - if you make us breakfast!

Kirishima firmly pats and pets the giant dog, looking at his boyfriend with a playful light in his red eyes.

Bakugou sighs, “If it’ll get you gross animals off then fine!”

Smiling victoriously, Kirishima sits back on his knees and helps with pulling the dog away. She quickly forgets about them and trots off to her toys in the living room. Kirishima offers his hand, Bakugou takes it and together they stand from the floor. 

Bakugou rolls his eyes but smirks and playfully pushes at Kirishima’s shoulder. His wrist is caught and Kirishima pulls him in for a hug. It’s sticky and sweaty but a smile forms on his face and Bakugou accepts it without question, along with the gentle kiss to his temple.

“Slept okay?” 

Kirishima asks, running his fingers through Bakugou’s hair when they pull away from their hug. Bakugou leans into the touch and nods.

“As good as I could with two giants hogging the bed and snoring loud enough to shake the fucking walls.”

Kirishima chuckles and takes Bakugou’s hand, letting his thumb brush over the black band that still remains on his finger, he smiles fondly at it.

“I’ll take that as a ‘I slept great babe!’”

Bakugou snorted and patted Kirishima’s chest, leaning in to kiss his sweaty cheek before lightly pushing him away and wiping the salty taste from his mouth. 

“If you want breakfast, you better get your rank ass in the shower and hold up your end of the bargain.”

“Aye, aye captain!” Kirishima salutes with a massive smile and turns to jog out and towards the bedroom.

Shaking his head with a smile, Bakugou picks up the mess of his forgotten newspaper on the counter. He skims over the front page and smiles at the picture taken of him and Kirishima. Their backs face the camera, Kirishima’s arm around Bakugou as they look upon the cherry blossom tree that was planted in your memory at one of your favorite parks. It had bloomed just in time for the one year anniversary of your passing and there were numerous gifts left around the trunk of it from fans and friends.

Bakugou runs a finger over your printed name on the paper and for the first time since that one night, he feels you pressed against him, hugging him close from behind and pressing your cheek to his back. Smiling, Bakugou rubs at your hands over his stomach and he looks up when he hears Kirishima walking back into the kitchen with a question that he doesn’t hear.

The redhead looks him over confused at first and Bakugou just gives him the softest and fondest smile, still rubbing over the space of his stomach and Kirishima’s eyes widen. He crosses his arms and leans against the fridge, smiling at Bakugou while he states softly.

“She’s here.”

[mochiiikko]

So errr do u have the good shit, (head canons about the 3 Catherine's)

Yes yes yes yes i do.

Catherine of Aragon

• mom friend™

• bisexual!!!

• serious but knows when too lighten up.

• when she does she's soft or chaotic no in between.

• has somehow tickled Anna and got away without injury.

• probably the first too show up when any of the queens have nightmares.

• has and will again pay for therapy.

• THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN FUCKING COOK IN THIS GOD DAMN HOUSE

• obssesed with Harry Potter, hates the writer who shall not be named

• very protective of the queens.

• Seriously make eye contact with one of them and she's ready too fight you.

• def has her own nightmares about her past life, but knows how too handle it better.

• if possible she would physically fight Anna's insecurities and Cathy and Kate's depression

• loves dressing up for halloween!!!

• helped make all the costumes for the show.

• Cathy and Catalina mother child relation more at 11

Katherine Howard

• still has a fear of men.

• feels her neck quite often.

• surprisingly calm most of the time!

• until someone gives her chocolate

• then it's over.

• not ready for a romantic relationship, probably never will be.

• platonic Katanna!

• funny enough 3rd most mature in the house.

• the ruffs and sunglasses in haus of holbein were her idea.

• wearing yellow too a funeral was her idea too.

• loves randomly hugging the queens, first of all she deserves all the hugs second of all the queens need them too.

• loves messing around with the liws!

• their chaotic as fuck and Kate loves it.

• Her nick name is kitten!

• loves animals!!!

• can still be childish at times, considering her childhood was robbed from her

• did i mention she loves animals?

• once brought a puppy and a kitten into the house for no reason

• that's how the queens got their first dog and cat.

Catherine Parr

• non-binary baby!!

• spends way too much time writing in their room .

• most definitely coffee addicted.

• sleep? Who's she? Never heard of her.

• haus of holbein came too them in a dream

• "okay what about a song right after heart of stone. But it's emotional whiplash. It has too haunt people at night, and it has too look and sound as if you're taking drugs. We all have too do fake german accents, but we aren't allowed too practice the accent."

• Main writer for SIX!

• one time during pride month they had the word 'SIX' on stage be rainbow instead of silver

• plays so, so many games.

• chaotic af despite what people say

• once upon a time Catalina went out for grocery shopping when she was called too the front. Found Cathy there waiting for her.

• "i got lost."

• "i didn't even bring you along how did you manage to get here?"

• reads way too much.

• mostly likely to ask to be tickled.

• just,,,, chaotic baby.

• had too literally be pulled to bed by all the others. Even the liws were called in

• two words

• survivors guilt.

[compassionatereminders]

Hi Kat! I saw my psychiatrist on Monday. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety and panic attacks, pretty normal and very expected. But he also diagnosed me with PTSD which surprised me but honestly makes a lot of sense. He also said he was very impressed with my PCP, the different meds I’ve tried and the treatments I’ve gone thru, is the exact thing he would’ve done which felt good that my PCP is taking good care of me. It’s still a struggle to do normal things but I’m getting the help I need. I start therapy in 2 weeks and while I’m not thrilled to dive deep into my PTSD, I’m excited to work thru this and move past it to take control back over my life. I’m on 2-3 meds a day and honestly my stomach is gross but I’m hoping the side effects will subside after the first couple weeks. Thank you for listening to all of us, you are a true blessing 💖

I am so happy to hear that you're getting diagnosed and that you're starting further treatment soon! I wish you the best of luck with coming to terms with your diagnoses, finding the right meds and starting therapy. All of this sound like healthy choices and I'm proud of you for making them. I'm glad you're working on yourself and I wish you all the very best!

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

Did Eddie kill his mum!? If he did, good for him. Also I need a part 2 to the snow prompt I beg of u 🥺

you asked and I delivered. This is part two to this, and set from Eddie’s point of view. 

trigger warning: mentions of conversion therapy

* * * * *

Eddie was quiet on the ride to the station, his eyes glancing out the window at the houses and trees covered in snow. Tears built up in his eyes, but he refused to break down, there was no way he was breaking down in front of the officers. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was a repeat of the events that had taken place that night, all leading up to the look of horror on Richie’s face as he was dragged away.

He wondered how long he’d get in prison for what happened. Ten years? Twenty? LIfe? His mother was dead now, all because of him, all because he couldn’t do as he was told. Eddie’s eyes moved from the window to his arms, which were slowly beginning to bruise, the scratches turning a harsh red colour.

The car suddenly came to a stop, and the officers stepped out, opening the door to pull Eddie out by his cuffed hands. They lead him into the station and through a set of double doors into a pale grey room with a single table and two chairs. It didn’t take a genius to know that this was an interrogation room, and that he was about to be questioned on what happened in the house, less than an hour ago.

“Take a seat, Mr Kasbrak. Someone will be with you shortly.” One of the officers stated as he sat Eddie down in the chair, like he wasn’t capable of doing it himself. Maybe he wasn’t. A thousand thoughts were swirling around in his head, and before the officer could leave the room, Eddie turned around to catch his attention.

“L-Lawyer…” Eddie croaked out, his eyes widening at the sound of his own voice. It hadn’t sounded like that earlier when he had spoken to Richie, but then again the adrenaline was starting to wear off and the pain was beginning to settle in. Carefully, Eddie lifted his hand to his throat, tears springing into his eyes at the pain. “I- I want a- a lawyer.”

The officer just nodded, leaving the room and slamming the door closed. The ringing echoed in Eddie’s ears and he moved his hands from his throat to cover them up, resting his head on the table in front of him. As he closed his eyes, he let his mind take him back to the beginning of the night, to before everything fell to shit.

“Oh come on Eds, are you sure you don’t want to come to the arcade with Bill and me? It’ll be fun! I’ll even let you win a few games.” Eddie rolled his eyes as Richie practically begged him down the line to hang out with them. Of course, Eddie wouldn’t usually pass up on a chance to get out of the house and spend time with his boyfriend, but his mother had been…acting stranger that day and he didn’t think sneaking out of his window would work that night.

“I can’t,” Eddie sighed eventually. “I have…stuff I need to do.” The lie was pathetic, and Eddie knew Richie would know he was making excuses, he just hoped for once that Richie would let it go. He’d see him the next day anyway, as they had all planned to hang out at the clubhouse. “I’ll see you tomorrow though. I promise.”

He could hear the hesitation in Richie’s sigh, but he eventually caved and they said their goodbyes. A few moments later, his mother called him from downstairs. The tone of her voice was harsh, and Eddie felt a sick feeling rise in his stomach, yet he followed her orders and went down the stairs.

The rest of the evening passed by tensely, with Eddie sitting on the couch and his mother sitting on her armchair, staring aimlessly at the screen. Once her show was done, she flicked off the TV and turned so she was facing Eddie, only making his anxiety grow. “Eddie-bear. When were you going to tell me about you and that dirty boy? When were you going to confess that you are defying god and doing ungodly things with that boy?”

Eddie froze up and he looked at his mother with a shocked expression. There was no way she could have known, he was being so careful! Even after she had installed the camera in the hallway, which Eddie knew was to make sure he wasn’t sneaking out at night, he was still careful. “Ma-”

“You are not to see him again, and first thing tomorrow I am taking you to a confessional and we’re going to get you cured.” His mother spoke with no emotion in her voice and Eddie’s heart dropped, tears springing into his eyes. “Don’t start crying, Edward. You did this to yourself.” Within a few seconds, his mother was off the chair and looming over him, wrapping her chubby hand around his wrist, squeezing tight. “No son of mine is going to be the local faggot.”

“Ma- ma you’re hurting me,” Eddie whimpered, tugging his hand to try and get out of her grip, but it only tightened, nails digging into his skin. “Ma, let me go!”

She stared down at him, nothing but hatred in her eyes and for the first time in years, Eddie felt genuine fear around her. ”You are a dirty boy Eddie, and you need to be punished. You need to see that it’s wrong.” She hissed, moving her other hand to attempt to restrain Eddie further. Before she could, Eddie jerked his hand away, removing her grip and he scrambled over the sofa and up the stairs,

He could hear his mother screaming, her feet thundering on the floorboards as she followed him and then banging on his door once he’d slammed and locked it. His heart was racing, tears streaming down his cheeks as  he looked down at his arm, scratched and bleeding. Fuck, his mother had gone insane and he needed to get out of there before she did something terrible.

Quickly, Eddie shoved as many necessary items into an overnight bag and pulled it over his shoulder. He’d go to Richie’s, he was always welcome there, and now that he was eighteen his mother couldn’t say it was kidnapping as he made his own choice. He pulled up his window and was just about to jump when the door opened and a hand was digging into his scalp, pulling him back from the window and towards the door.

“You really do not want to know what I’m capable of Edward,” his mother hissed as she dragged him from his room into the hallway and onto his feet. “Why did you have to go and be such a bad boy? Why couldn’t you have stayed as my precious Eddie-Bear and married a church girl just like I wanted? Why did you have to be dirty Eddie?”

Eddie shook his head, trying to get out of her grip, but she was strong in her anger. “I-I’m not your little boy anymore! I haven’t been for a while! I’m in love with Richie and there is nothing you can do to stop that! No conversion therapy is going to change the fact that I’m gay and you need to accept it!”

At his words, her eyes darkened just a little and Eddie thought that he had finally gotten through to her, that she would finally just accept it and let him go. What he didn’t expect was for her to move her hands to his throat and start to squeeze. “I didn’t want to have to do this Eddie. You were my little boy and I loved you, but I can’t have a fag for a son, I can’t have a dirty, sick boy living under my roof. I am sorry, but this is for your own good, this will cleanse your soul and maybe you’ll be allowed to enter heaven or you will go to hell and repent for your sins.”

It all happened so fast, Eddie’s vision was blacking out the harder that his mother squeezed at his throat, and he knew if he didn’t act then he would be dead in seconds. Hoping to distract her long enough just so he could escape and run for help, Eddie raised his leg and slammed his foot down on his mother’s. She gasped in pain, removing her hands from his throat and backing up towards the stairs. Their eyes met for a moment, a long halted moment before she lost her balance at the top of the staircase, body tumbling backwards as Eddie tried to lunge forward and catch her.

He was too late, her fingers skimming past his own as she fell down, body thumping against the steps and even cracking a few before her head slammed against the large pillar at the bottom of the stairs with a hard, resounding crack. Silence filled the room, barr Eddie’s intense breathing as he stared down at his motionless mother on the floor of their entrance hall. From where he was standing, he could see the blood pouring onto the laminate floor from her head.

Slowly, Eddie moved his trembling body backwards until it hit the wall, allowing the tears of horror to flow.

What the hell had he done?

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @feldmancorey @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kat-ships-everything @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madidraw @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @photoboothreddie @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster  @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stebbins @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead  

[fortysevenswrites]

Aaaaa I NEED your thoughts on the Bold Type. I love my girls (and go off with Sutton and Richard, season 4 who??)

Okay nonny, here we freaking go!

Sutton (And Richard)

So, I’m not active in the fandom more than randomly rebageling some Richard/Sutton gifsets because I ship the straight couple and what fic I’ve seen is like ALL Kat/Adena, more power to those shippers and those fics, but I am RIDE OR DIE Sutton/Richard. 

I love them so much. It’s such a great relationship (which...there is no back half of Season 4. They got married and live happily ever after and manage to make it work with both their ambitions. Miss me with that shit the writers pulled. Not cool. As a writer, I think that the forms of conflict that they decided to go with is really lazy writing, and there are ways to have a compelling storyline and compelling relationship without trying to tear it apart at the seams. If things change and they reconcile in S5, I might consider making my way through the end of S4, but at this point, I’m not going to waste my time.)

I really don’t think the Older Man/Younger Woman thing is THAT big of a deal (maybe it’s because I was in a relationship with a guy 11 years older than me when I was in college. Richard may or may not remind me a little of my ex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). I think Sutton is just...remarkably capable and competent and mature enough to meet Richard at his level (even if she does have fun as someone in her early 20s would). 

Also, they are both very, very attractive people, and yes, I am more than a little shallow about that shit.

Like, I haven’t watched the show since the pregnancy drama storyline kicked in, but now that I’m thinking about seasons 1-3 and the first half of 4, I’m actually inclined to go back and re-watch, because their storyline just is enjoyable to watch. It makes me happy when they’re on screen together. Their storylines are some of the drivers of the show.

Jane

And--and I really don’t know how popular or unpopular this opinion is, but I honestly don’t love Jane as much as I do the other girls. I don’t hate her, I don’t even actively dislike her, but she’s just not my favorite character on the show ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I know she’s the lead and she is extremely compelling and I do enjoy some of her story (and she’s an amazing singer, I love when she got drunk and high and sang Torn), but there’s just a lot about her that grates on me sometimes, and a lot of times where I’m watching and I find myself thinking, “Can we go just hang out with Sutton now?”

Like, I almost prefer Oliver’s family dynamic more than Jane’s sometimes.

And I REALLY don’t like how her relationship with Pinstripe ended. He fucked up, yes, but she let their lack of communication get in the way of actually resolving their issues. And this is coming from someone who is VERY anti someone who cheats staying in a relationship even if they know they fucked up. I just really like Pinstripe as a character and didn’t like his ending.

Especially following Jane now that she’s got her own vertical within the magazine. I just...don’t love it. I don’t like this guy who they brought in to be her new love interest or whatever the hell he’s supposed to be (okay yes, part of it is because Pinstripe is SO Much better looking, but mostly because I don’t like him all that much), but I’m just not a fan of him. Also, unlike Sutton who was not and has never been Richard’s subordinate, this guy IS Jane’s immediate subordinate and I’m not a fan of that power dynamic.

Kat

I think Kat is great too. I LOVE her with Adena, but I also love how they did break up and get back to being friends (when she came in to shoot for Sutton? Like I just LOVED those scenes), but I really do think that they SHOULD be endgame. I don’t know where the hell Adena was in S4, but she should have been around.

As for the relationship Kat WAS in, in S4 (which, I don’t want to thank COVID for much, but I’m kinda glad production got shot down because who the hell knows what they would have pulled in the last couple episodes), like...what the ever-loving fuck? I’m not a POC, but I am bisexual and support liberal policies, and I would NEVER be in a relationship with someone whose family and beliefs are SO antithetical to my own. Like...I am iffy on the institution of marriage as it is, but if I was ever in a relationship with someone, and ever considered marrying someone, knowing who they voted for in this election is absolutely a dealbreaker. Conversion therapy is a dealbreaker. A woman’s right to choose if she wants to keep her pregnancy or not is a dealbreaker.

I really do not understand what the writers did with Season 4, and Aisha Dee was SO FREAKING RIGHT to make the comments that she did after the season wrapped.

So I could never realistically (or not realistically see, in the case of TBT) Kat and Ava willingly being together.

Like, what the fuck? Honestly, I think the only good relationship Kat has ever been in on the show has been with Adena.

The Rest Of The Cast

Can I just say, the way my jaw DROPPED when I watched the scene of Andrew in drag was S T U N N I N G. Like...I just was absolutely delighted by that and am delighted by him. The fact that he has gotten more and more of a role as the show has gone on was an amazing decision.

I also enjoy Alex and Sage and Jacqueline so much, and they’re all fun to hang out with. Do I think Jacqueline should have stayed with her husband vs. her hot exboyfriend? Hmmmmmm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, and I don’t remember this girl’s name, but the “Gen Z girl” that Jane hired in the second half of S4--SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN HIRED. The moment she whipped out her phone in that interview, the interview should have been OVER.

I understand people spending a lot of time on their phones (mine is never far away from me ever), but the fact that this girl, in her interview, did not even ask if it was okay to take notes on her phone? Was SO rude, and I don’t know which clearly-NOT-a-Gen-Z writer wrote that scene, but any Gen-Zer who is looking for a job, any reasonable person, would NEVER just whip out their phone while they’re being interviewed without asking for permission.

NEVER. 

Like...I watched that scene and was just stunned. And yes, I know that TBT is clearly not anything anywhere near reality, but like...that is an inaccuracy that I just can’t abide by.

You don’t pull that shit in a job interview, you just don’t.

Okay nonny, so...those are my thoughts on The Bold Type.