#kara does grad school

[kawaii-10105]

Its my city now ive been thinking about oc dynamics for the other brothers. I decided toto recycle some old fandom ocs from my preteen years bc its both funny and thematically appropriate.

The only new ones are like wendy and suzi. Suzi is sorta not new but so completely revamped and wasn’t ever really developed anyways.

I have to figure out like actual names for two bc they’ve only gone by nicknames. I also thought it would be fun to have more cartoonish/surreal characters instead of just regular people.

Kitti (nickname)- when i made her, she originally was a Boy Scout and kinda based off of spongebob. Now ive changed her to like a big sister like character except she really ISN’T. She’s the younger sister of twins, neither the brain or muscle behind their duo. She’s sweet, dense, and a stickler for order. She’s a mycologist and likes to hang out in the woods. She is dating oso im still working on their dynamic but theyre definitely childhood friends who find each other again in adulthood oso confuses her for her twin sister and is like: whoa, so you decided to become a girl!! Thats so cool can i see ur boobs since we’re old friends?? She meets oso thru totty who shes friends with bc theyre both girls.

Wendy - basically a small, loud little henchman or hypeman. She’s so so small in height and so round. She looks like a shark, has very pointy teeth, beady lil teeth, and is very scary except her voice is really adorable. She is karamatsu’s biggest fucking fan, and hyped him up as much as he does to the point where sometimes he’s embarrassed. I think she’s weird and funny bc she has a rich inner world completely detached from him that she never tells him about except for concerning bits and pieces. So far theyre my favorite bc i drew her telling kara when hes not there she goes to nurtitionland and hangs out with talking carrots. Kara absolutely adores her and tries to explain her appeal constantly but everyone side eyes him.

Sindri - I haven’t really figured it out yet bc Sindri was an oc i used to really adore. I remember having like a really lavish and dramatic backstory for him that was super serious but i kinda don’t wanna do all of that anymore but dont wanna erase all of it either. Slowly rebuilding him. I ship him w choro tho

Esaias- another recycled but kinda loved oc. He was like one of my least favorites but I had developed him a loooot. Almost all of his original characterization and background are the same, so he grew up in a paramilitary Christian cult ran by his step father and mother that only consisted of his immediate family. His childhood sucked but you wouldn’t know it bc he was the blacksheep, and thoroughly ignored but a lot of the family politics bc hes considered the illegitimate eldest. He’s actually really normal and nice and in Japan for grad school and to train under Fighting Yowai. He makes Ichi really nervous bc he’s like a normie or something but he also is really strange. They have a really funny dynamic to me but eventually hes kinda like a security blanket ichi carries and he is there basically like “damn bitch you live like this? Thats so cool can you teach me?”

Suzi - she didn’t have a very thick background, I made her when I was like literally 12 and didn’t like her very much to the point where her entire narrative was that i killed off her sister. Which is funny bc i love her now and so I killed her off too. She’s a ghost! Like a sadako/okiku type of ghost. Looks very scary and only jyushi can see her and at first he’s terrified of her but it’s really actually lighthearted and silly. His brothers are all weirded out by jyushi’s new imaginary friend but they are a loveydovey couple even tho shes dead and he aint.

And then tottys still mine

Oh i forgot nom (another nickname)

I ship her with nyaa. She’s a tsundere who is obsessed with looking cool, she’s the older twin sister of kitti and she is the biggest softie ever. Literally the brain and the brawn, she’s in love w nyaa and is a crybaby. She’s really moody too, friends with ichi and kara. She wants to be goth and alt so bad but shes just shein. The tallest of my ocs. She can only handle the responsibility of taking care of Kitti, so she cant cook or clean (kitti must) but she does everything else. She’s a drop out fashion student, and a cringefail girl. The only one who can make kitti, who comes across as a big sister character be a whiny baby. I ship her with nyaa bc i think itd be funny

[meyerlansky]

it is absolutely astounding to me how many people who are disturbingly pro-censorship of things they don't like think they're well-suited to jobs in libraries, museums, and other cultural heritage careers

i cannot emphasize how much librarians don't want you as our colleagues. go waste your time somewhere else.

[autisticlenaluthor]

Literally anything with Alex and Kara making Lena feel included please <3

i may have deviated from the prompt just a bit bc it's mostly Alex but they're both trying :,)

---

Lena’s never been good at making friends.

She isn’t sure if she’s good at being one– nobody’s stuck around long enough for her to know for sure; though, she concludes from that that she isn’t.

She gathers at a young age that it’s because she’s too much.

She’s too excitable, too talkative, too quiet, too smart, too slow, too formal, too Lena. And people don’t like those who are like her. Those who can’t just be the thing they’re supposed to and correct the things that are wrong.

Lena doesn’t like it either.

She hates the way she interacts with the world– the way she talks for longer than is appropriate or always gets the joke just a minute too late (if she even gets it at all). She hates that she arrives at every event thirty minutes early just in case then sits in her car, hiding on her phone, until it’s an appropriate time to leave. Or that the speech disorder she developed as a child never seemed to go away, even after years of correctional therapy. She hates that for whatever reason, she can’t wear jeans or any type of wool (even just the thought of wearing them together makes her want to gag). She hates it all.

But more than anything, Lena hates the way that no matter how hard she tries– she can never find a way to fix it.

And so when Kara invites her to a game night, Lena has no reason at all to believe the invitation is serious. She’s known Kara for all of three months and two weeks– not that she’s been counting because that would be weird, and while they’re acquaintances, she’d never really considered them to be friends.

She says yes without even a moment's hesitation though. It goes against everything Lena’s ever known– friendship and casual interaction but the thought of actually having a real friend is too exciting to turn down (really, it’s Kara that excites her, but same difference, right?)

The rest of the day, Lena spends cursing herself for being so impulsive and acting without reason.

Because what does she know about this sort of thing? The closest thing she ever had to a game night growing up was when she’d stay up late as a kid and sit by the staircase as she listened to her father argue with other businessmen in the living room.

God, it’s pathetic to think about. Lena clings to the notion– the discomfort and self-loathing and that constant voice in her head that tells her she should’ve never been invited. She shouldn’t be allowed to go because she’ll mess things up with her and Kara just like she’s messed up every potential friendship in the past.

Each day, Lena writes out a cancellation text, and each day she deletes it. Her anxiety gets the best of her, telling her she sounds too cold or too unfriendly and that if she sends it, Kara will never invite her to anything ever again.

The cycle continues until Friday, when Lena realizes game night is tonight and it’s too late to back out. She figures the only thing she can do is to do what she always does– prepare for every single worst case scenario possible in order to prevent a disaster.

For the first time since she became CEO, Lena leaves work early.

She buys two bottles of wine– one red and one white just in case, then spends almost an hour digging through her closet to find something to wear. Kara described the event as being pretty relaxed but Lena knows that could mean any number of things. Black pants and a nice sweater might work but she doesn’t want to risk showing up in work clothes when the rest of the group might be wearing sweats.

Lena tries on and tosses to the floor nearly every item of clothing she has. After what feels like hours, she lands on a gray sweatshirt with red patches that spell MIT across the chest. She pairs it with her only pair of jeans (ones she bought years ago back in grad school that are now tight around the waist and cut awkwardly into her stomach) and tells herself she’s found the right balance.

Sure, the jeans make her want to crawl out of her own skin and die, but she doesn’t have anything else. Not unless she wants to show up in a designer suit which she knows will not go over well.

Once she’s dressed, Lena sits on the edge of her bed until it’s an acceptable time to leave.

She thinks about cleaning up her mess of a bedroom or picking up one of the various books she’s in the middle of reading, but the impending deadline of having to leave feels too dooming. So dooming that it freezes her for forty-five minutes until it’s 5:30– which, in her anxiety-ridden state, Lena finds an acceptable time to leave.

She arrives at Kara’s at six because she was told she doesn’t need to be there until 6:30.

Instead of hiding in her car for the next half hour, Lena decides to get up and walk around. She circles the block where Kara’s loft is to get a feel for the area, pulling her sleeves around her fists and sucking in her stomach so she won’t have to feel the waistband of her pants chafing against her skin.

She pretends to check and recheck her phone whenever she sees someone come her way, forcing as much nonchalance as possible so nobody walking past will look and see just how nervous she truly is.

The plan goes well at first (as well as it can, considering Lena is fully allowing her paranoia to dictate her every move) until she sees a tall redhead who, from the back, looks just like Alex. Lena’s body clenches and quickly she holds up her phone and reopens the article she’d been reading; Most Common American Board Games and How to Play Them.

Her heart is pounding and knees shaking– she can feel herself growing warm, god, it feels like she’s going to throw up. The woman turns around, Alex, turns around, and smiles at her, waving awkwardly as she jogs over.

“Hey,” she says, slipping her hands into her back pockets. “What are you doing here so early? Game night doesn’t start for a while.”

“I uh–”

Alex peers over at Lena’s phone and laughs at the screen. It isn’t malicious and Lena knows it, but still, her heart sinks. She swallows and turns her phone off before quickly stuffing it into the pocket of her hoodie. Part of her wants to make up an excuse about how she was just trying to refresh her memory or something equally as believable, but she can’t bring herself to say a word.

She knows when she starts to feel this way the stutter comes back and she can’t risk messing up in front of Kara and her friends. She can’t be the girl who doesn’t speak properly– who trips over her words whenever things get hard. The one whose presence reminds the people around her that they really aren’t as embarrassing as they think they are (they’ll never be as embarrassing as Lena).

So perhaps the silence is for the best, Lena figures, shuffling on her heels as she looks down at the pavement.

“Maggie was just getting donuts,” Alex says when the quiet starts to get awkward. She tugs at her own jacket, smiling uncomfortably. “There’s a great place down the street, Kara talks about it all the time.”

Lena hums and nods.

“Were you gonna pick something up too or just stand here until it’s time to go in?”

Lena’s mouth goes dry and her cheeks fill with heat.

“That was a joke,” Alex reassures her, though, it doesn’t make her feel any better. “I’m also crazy about getting places on time. It used to drive Kara insane when we were kids because she had the worst time management skills. She still does. Sometimes I lie to her and say we have to get somewhere an hour before we actually need to. It’s the only way to get anything done.”

Lena chuckles and offers another nod. She finds herself thinking about a frantic Kara, running to her door with her coat hanging off one shoulder and briefcase in hand. She has to keep herself from smiling at the thought– keep from daydreaming for too much longer.

Thankfully, before things can get worse, Maggie finds them and asks why they’re crowding outside. Alex spares Lena the embarrassment of saying she found her alone outside and instead just says they’d been chatting.

“Oh okay,” Maggie says and slips her hand into Alex’s.

Lena has to keep from staring at the sight. Not because she’s judging but because she knows there’s nothing she wouldn’t give to one day feel that comfortable with someone. To let their hand touch hers and not worry they’re going to use it against her.

“Let’s head inside,” Maggie adds, snapping Lena out of her head. “Kara’s probably waiting.”

---

Kara greets the trio at the door and quickly invites them all inside. She accepts both bottles of wine from Lena, thanking her and telling her she didn’t need to bring anything.

“I- I just wasn’t sure,” Lena says as Kara sets them down in the kitchen.

She pulls her sleeves back over her fingers and awkwardly rubs her hands together.

“I didn’t want to show up empty-handed.”

Kara just smiles and turns around. “It’s fine, either way, I’m really glad you came,” she admits as they head toward the living room. She links their arms together, incidentally pulling Lena close. The gesture causes her heart to skip a beat.

“James and Winn will be here soon. J’onn had to cancel; he had a… work thing.”

“Who are t- they?” Lena asks. She clears her throat and smiles nervously, hoping Kara didn’t pick up on her blip.

“Just some more friends,” Kara responds. “I’m sure you’ll love them.”

Lena nods.

“Oh, and we’ll be partners either way,” Kara adds. She does a little bounce of excitement, smiling back at her friend. “If that’s okay with you. I just thought it could be fun, you know. Since you know everything about anything, you can dominate trivia and I’ll use my stellar acting skills for charades.”

Lena can’t help the downright giggle that escapes at Kara’s words. She feels their sides brush against one another and again, her chest clenches. It fills her with thoughts of the moment outside with Alex and Maggie, she can feel herself beginning to get stupidly wishful all over again.

“I would love to be your partner,” she says eventually, cringing once she’s done because really, Lena? Could you have possibly sounded any gayer?

Lena sighs. She can get it together, she has to. It’s just a few hours of normalcy, nothing she can’t handle.

You’re a Luthor, she reminds herself. You know how to push through.

---

As the evening picks up, Kara and Lena remain side by side on the floor while Alex and Maggie take the sofa behind them. James and Winn occupy the armchairs on the other side– plates and beverages from the entire group overflowing from the table to the floor.

There are various boxes of pizza still open in the kitchen and stacks of trivia cards are splayed out in front of them. Lena’s answered a few questions so far– each time it’s something even remotely math or science-related, Kara gives it to her then shakes out her hands with delight when she inevitably answers it correctly.

Every so often she and Alex will squabble about which team is superior. Admittedly, Lena finds it hilarious, especially when Maggie says that she should see them when they play together if they seem competitive now.

The rest of the group, on the other hand, is much tamer.

Alex and Maggie are a pair, as are James and Winn. Winn seems to get all the musical theater or pop culture-related questions while James handles the sports category. They all work well together. It makes Lena wonder if they really need another addition to their group, if this will end up being their first and last gathering together.

“Ooh, Lena!” Kara calls out, catching her focus again. “It’s our turn. Can I ask this one?”

Lena nods and Kara picks up a card. She bites her lip and a crinkle appears between her eyes as she reads.

“In which country did the Easter Rising take place in 1916?”

Smiling, Lena folds her hands together. She knows this one– knows far more about it than Kara could’ve ever imagined because she spent three years in high school deep-diving into Irish history before attempting to form an Irish History Club (which ended up just being her sitting in her favorite history teacher’s room during lunch each Monday and recounting fun facts to him. Turned out there wasn’t a huge fanbase for that niche at the preparatory boarding school Lillian had sent her to.)

“Ireland,” Lena says quickly, holding her hands against her stomach to keep from stimming. “I- in Irish it’s actually called the Éiri Amach n- na Cásca.”

She blushes bright red and looks down at the ground to avoid Kara’s lingering gaze. She knows stopping would be the rational thing to do– she’s stuttering already and when she’s this excited, trying to fix her speech while she’s still going only makes things worse. But the naive, foolish part of her thinks that maybe she can get through it. She can say it all quickly and in one piece and put all that nervous energy aside to keep from messing up.

“It happened during Eas- s- ster Week. The Irish Rep- p- republicans launched a rising a- against British rule in Ireland t- to try and form an independent Irish Rep- public. I- it’s considered one of the most si-significant uprisings in I- Irish history.”

As soon as she’s done, Lena quickly looks away. She starts to fiddle with her fingers as her heart rate picks up its pace. She’s never stuttered in front of Kara before– she can only imagine what the rest of the group must be thinking.

“Are you into history?” Alex asks after a moment, smiling as she sips her drink.

Lena nods and forces a small, stiff smile in return.

“Not to brag, but I was the only one in my APUSH class to get a five on the exam,” Alex says. She folds one leg over the other and leans back in her chair like some sort of cartoon supervillain.

“Yeah, because there were eight other people in your class,” Maggie says, whacking her girlfriend in the leg. “If you’re gonna get cocky, get cocky about something impressive.”

Lena laughs and for just a second, looks back at Kara. She’s still got the crinkle but her expression has changed. Lena can’t tell to what.

“I um– I’ll be right back,” she says without thinking.

“What– what just happened?” Kara stammers, looking to Alex once Lena’s gone. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Alex frowns. “I think I might’ve scared her away.”

---

Lena’s heart nearly stops when she walks out of the bathroom five minutes later to see Alex standing in the hall.

“What the fuck, Alex?” She whispers, the words slipping right out.

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles with a half-smile. “I just wanted to ask if you were alright. You seem nervous and I don’t know, I feel bad for cornering you earlier.”

Lena pauses, nodding as she wraps her arms around herself. Perhaps if she were stronger she would’ve snapped and pushed her away. She would’ve said nothing was going on and that Alex needed to stop poking her nose into other people’s business.

But Lena isn’t strong. And when she’s in a new place surrounded by people she doesn’t know (people who she desperately just wants to impress) whatever bit of solidity she has withers away and dissolves right before her eyes.

“I’m fine,” Lena says after a moment. She forces a smile and grips the fabric of her hoodie. “I’m just…”

“I’m not used to s- social activities,” she adds and looks away, finding a paint-chipped spot on the wall to stare at. Already, her voice is thick with emotion. She hates herself for falling apart so quickly. “Or having friends.”

Alex nods and takes a moment to think before responding. “I know we can come on a little strong. If it made you uncomfortable…”

Lena shakes her head.

“No, I- I messed things up. Not you.”

“How?”

Pursing her lips and swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena lifts her head and meets Alex’s eyes. She knows they both know what it is. Somehow the act of acknowledging her stutter feels even more humiliating than the way she’d fumbled before.

“Oh,” Alex says eventually. “Really? The stutter?”

Lena nods.

“I just… I r- really like Kara,” she admits, smiling sadly. There are tears in her eyes and it hurts to speak. She’s dangerously close to crying and the thought of crying in front of Alex only makes her feel worse. “I wanted to be her friend and I- I thought…”

Lena shrugs and looks down at the ground. Slowly, she sucks in a breath.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to do well for her.”

“Lena, you didn’t do anything wrong. I mean it,” Alex adds when Lena shakes her head. “Kara has spent the past week talking non-stop about how all she wants is to be able to impress you. She thinks you’re like, the smartest person there is– she was so excited to have you over and see you outside of work.”

“Really?” Lena asks, unable to tell if Alex is telling the truth.

“Really,” Alex repeats. “I can guarantee, Kara doesn’t care if you stutter or not. She’s just glad that you’re here.”

“I’m glad she invited me,” Lena says, her voice hardly above a whisper. “I mean… I’ve been freaking out ever since she did but… still.”

Alex nods. “Then go back out there and sit with her. She’s probably dying to interrupt us anyways.”

Lena laughs and nervously wipes her eyes. “You won’t tell her about this?”

“Of course not.” Alex crosses her heart for dramatic effect. “Now stop pining and go get your girl.”

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Supercorp - 49 please

Jess has been with her ever since the beginning of time. It might sound like an exaggeration but it really isn't.

Jess was already assigned with her ever since she was the Junior VP of LuthorCorp's Research division back when Lionel was still alive.

And when Lex inevitably drove the whole company into ruin and forced Lena into the limelight as CEO, Jess remained by her side.

So, really, Lena couldn't refuse Jess's resignation letter when it came, finally telling Lena that she wants to expand her horizons. Lena was beyond happy to hear that Jess was interested in going to grad school and finishing her Master's that's been put on hold. At the same time though, she also doesn't know how to let her go. It might sound a little selfish to keep Jess all to herself, but Lena's sure she's going to die the moment, Jess leaves her office.

But of course, Lena let her go, with a hefty final pay and a promise that Jess always has a place with L-Corp.

So truthfully, she doesn't have a problem with Jess leaving, what she does have a problem with, though, is Jess's replacement.

Jess made sure to choose the best of the best from L-Corp's array of eager interns.

Which means Lena has to work with the smartest, kindest, most fucking beautiful intern to ever grace her office.

How inconvenient.

"I'm her boss," she snipes at Sam, for the nth time that night. It's been 6 months of this. Of Kara coming into her office and making Lena's shitty day, less shitty. Of Kara being the most caring person in Lena's life. Of Kara somehow making Lena eat three full meals a day and getting her to sleep on time. Of Kara making her fall and fall, deeper and deeper.

Of Lena trying hard to suppress every little feeling she has when it comes to Kara by whining about it to her friends.

It's been 6 months of this and now it's Christmas and Kara is looking more and more tempting as the evening passes.

"Right, because that hasn't happened before." Sam rolls her eyes. "I haven't seen you look at another woman this way ever, Lena."

"Again," Lena stresses. "I'm her boss. As in, she works for me. She answers calls for me and she arranged this goddamn Christmas party."

"Then fire her," Andrea deadpans, taking a sip from her champagne flute, arm casually wrapped around Sam.

"Mm. I second that idea." Of course, they're ganging up on her. That's their favorite past time--making Lena's love life a source of entertainment.

"Remind me why I'm even talking to the both of you?"

"Because, you've fallen in love for the first time in your life and you don't know what to do because you're emotionally constipated due to family issues and it's Christmas and Kara's standing right there and I'm pretty sure you want to pull her under the mistletoe and we're the only ones who can help," Sam impressively lets out all in one breath.

"I hate you."

"We love you too, Lena," Andrea automatically responds. "Now, go tell Kara she's now unemployed because you want to rail her for the rest of the night."

"You can do it, sweetie. We believe in you." Sam raises her glass in solidarity.

"The both of you should be ashamed of yourselves." Lena glares at the both of them. "Christ, railing..." she murmurs under her breath at the same time she looks up from her drink and into Kara's eyes across the ballroom floor. Kara gives her a small wave, picks up her champagne float as if to toast, Lena raises her drink in turn.

Kara smiles. Lena flushes.

She's going to blame it on the alcohol when Andrea starts to ask.

Kara is on the other side of the ballroom floor, chatting up one of Lena's tech and bioinformatics staff, Wilfred? Winslow?

Whatever his name is, but Kara doesn't seem to be paying any attention, Lena keeps catching her looking at where she is every 5 seconds.

"Lena, for the love of God, stop with the eye-fucking already. If you aren't going to woman up, I'm gonna get Kara over here myself."

Lena knows Sam isn't kidding with her threat. Sam raises her brow in that 'Well, what are you going to do about it?' way that she always does.

"Fire her and get it over with. I heard Cat Grant is hiring."

"Oh my god, you two! Stop it already, I am not going to fire her, and I am not going to break moral code and for the love of God, I DON'T WANT TO RAIL KARA DANVERS, OKAY?!"

She breathes in deep, her heart pounding from her little outburst. Sam's eyes is twice in size and Andrea's lips bitten in an attempt to hold everything in, her left brow twitching.

"What?" Lena grits. "Why are you looking at me like-"

"Ms. Luthor." Somebody taps her on the shoulder and Lena is confronted with the reason why her friends are completely silent all of a sudden.

"Kara," she whispers in horror.

"Uhm." Kara fidgets with the her dress. "I was wondering if I could take a moment of your time? I want to talk with you about something."

Lena clenches and unclenches her fist and tries to rein it in. Fuck, did Kara hear?

"Is it urgent?"

"Uhm yes, sort of," Kara mumbles. And then more nervously, "I promise, it'll be quick!"

"Alright," Lena acquiesces, heart running a mile a minute. She follows Kara and doesn't dare glance back at Sam and Andrea. She doesn't really want to hear what they have to say about the whole turn of events.

Kara leads them out into the empty balcony, National City gleaming brighter than ever before them.

The jazz notes of the holiday serenade from the ballroom fades out and becomes replaced with the soft quiet of the falling snow instead.

"What did you want to talk about, Kara?" Lena dares to ask, goosebumps running along her arm at the cold.

"I, uhm promise me you won't be angry after I tell you?" Kara says, almost a whisper, a plea.

What could be so bad that Kara looks so afraid at the moment?

"I promise, Kara." The words waiting on the tip of her tongue. Eager to give Kara whatever she needs.

"Okay, okay here it goes, okay," Kara mutters under her breath, hands wringing nervously, clearly itching to fiddle with her glasses.

"I want to leave L-Corp."

Lena's heart plummets.

"What?"

Kara steps forward, looks down at the ground and then back to her.

"I- I want to resign. I want to leave L-Corp. I've been thinking about it for a few months now, and I've finally made up my mind. I wanted you to know in advance. I'll be passing a formal letter to HR in January."

Kara's eyes are so blue under the moonlight and her words are chasing each other around in Lena's head. Kara wants to leave. Kara has been thinking about leaving for months.

And here Lena was, expecting her to stick around for forever.

"Why? I thought you were happy at L-Corp? What could possibly be the reason for you to want to leave?"

I thought you were happy with me?

Lena can't help it, the question comes out of her lips without her permission and she can't take it back.

She thought Kara was happy spending time with her, working with her.

But what Kara says next turns Lena's entire world upside down in a heartbeat.

"You," Kara answers.

Everything slows. Time stops and all Lena can see is Kara and only Kara.

"I want to leave. I need to leave. Because of you, Lena. I'm in love with you, Lena."

Lena's first thought is, Fucking hell Andrea and Sam are gonna insufferable after this. Her second being, KARA'S IN LOVE WITH ME, KARA'S IN LOVE WITH ME, KARA'S IN LOVE WI-

"I'm in love with you. And I think you feel something for me too," Kara utters softly.

"And, I also know how much you value L-Corp and how everybody perceives you and I don't want to start something between us, if it would cost you more than it would cost me," Kara tells her reverently, finally closing the gap and taking Lena's shaking hands into hers.

"Oh, God, Kara, I love you too. God, this is crazy, I love you too. I'm so in love with you."

Lena doesn't even feel the cold, all she feels is this crazy, dizzying rush of happiness at finally being able to say what she's been feeling. And to hear it said back to her.

God, is this what it feels like?

Kara is smiling so wide and it takes a moment for Lena to realize that she is, too. She's smiling so hard her cheeks are hurting.

"I really want to kiss you now."

"I really want you to kiss me now, too, Ka-"

She doesn't even get to finish.

Kara presses their lips together and Lena tastes the cinnamon of Kara's lip gloss, because of course, she's the kind of girl who would wear cinnamon chapstick for Christmas.

They're both smiling too hard to kiss properly for the first time.

Lena breaks away for a moment, only to kiss her again for the second time. This time, deeper, more passionate. 6 months of pent-up emotions and want and love.

"To be clear, you love me, you're not going to fire me and you don't want to rail me??"

"I am never going to let Andrea and Sam near you ever again."

prompts list here

[1237tnb]

1000 Years (SuperCorp)

Kara stood up at the sink washing dishes and making small talk. She did not know how to bring up what she wanted to talk to Lena about. Without setting the glass down on the drying rack, she dried it by hand with a kitchen hand towel. Kara looked up at the ceiling above her.

“Kelly looks as beautiful and as ageless as possible.” Kara finally said allowed with an awkward smile. “I don’t know how she does it.” “Yeah…” Lean smiled and she sat at the table with her hands crossed. She decided to not offer Kara help with the dishes since she had cleaned them last night. “Around 2010 or so, scientists found that 2% of African American women have an anti-aging gene. It appears that Kelly got it!”

“Yeah…” Kara smiled, “But Alex is starting to look old.” Kara shook her head.

Lena scoffed in disbelief and shook her head.

“A little harsh tonight aren’t we…?” Lena asked, feeling defensive of Alex who she saw as a sister.

“No… I don’t mean it like that.” Kara sighed, dropping her hands in frustration. “I just mean that you and I met when we both 24 or so. Well, I mean you were 24, and I was closer to 35 or 36, because of my time in the Phantom Zone. That was over 16 years ago! Esme has gotten so big now. She’s now going to grad school at MIT!”

“Following in her aunt’s footsteps.” Lena smiled proudly to herself.

“I can’t help but think about how Alex and Kelly are getting older, and I… well I’m not.” Kara turned around to face Lena exasperated.

“I don’t know what I am going to do when they pass on. They’re my sisters. I love them so much, and I might have to live a really long time without them in my life. I mean… I guess that I could go live on Argo. That would cause me to start aging, but then I would be away from them, and I wouldn’t be able to save people!”

Lena watched Kara quietly knowing that she needed to rant. She knew that Kara felt helpless right now, but she always had a way of figuring things out.

“I was looking through your mother’s book of spells yesterday, and then I went to your office and looked through your library of magic books…”

Lena raised her eyebrow. Kara and Lena had been best friends for nearly twenty years now. Whatever was Kara’s was Lena’s, and whatever was Lena’s was Kara’s. However, Lena didn’t expect Kara to go rummaging through Lena’s spell books. Lena opened her mouth to speak, but she thought better of it.

“I was looking for an anti-aging spell.” Kara continued.

“Why?” Lena shook her head. “You already don’t age. I hope that you weren’t looking for one for Alex and Kelly. I love them too, but I will not help you with that. To use an anti-aging spell on them is to pervert nature.” Lena warned Kara sternly.

“I wasn’t looking for an anti-aging spell for them.” Kara admitted.

Lena was confused. J’onn didn’t age. Brainy didn’t age. Nia had slowed aging. William now had a family of his own. Who could Kara possibly want an anti-aging spell for?

“With my super vision, I can see things that you couldn’t even imagine. I can see every frown line, wrinkle, and discoloration in someone’s skin tone at its inception.” Kara began to explain.

Lena grabbed her face self-consciously and frowned.

“All of those things are a sign of aging, and compared to most people your age Lena, you barely have any of those things. You age, but I theorized that your magic might make you age very slowly. So, I looked it up in one of your spell books, and the answer is that it does. However, that power can be amplified, so that you could live to 1000 and never look a day over 20.”

Lena’s frown deepened. She didn’t know where Kara was going with this. Lena considered herself to be a woman of both science and rules, and if she was being honest, Kara had asked Lena to do things she wasn’t comfortable with in the past.

“Okay, I don’t know why that is pertinent.” Lena laughed. “I don’t think that I want to live to 1000.”

“I don’t either.” Kara shook her head in agreement, “But I also do not want to be old at 80. I think I at least want to continue to help people and explore the world and the universe well into my 200s.”

Lena’s eyes widened.

“Well, you don’t need magic for that.” Lena drew out slowly, still in disbelief that they were having this conversation. “Kara… I don’t think I understand what this conversation is about.”

“I don’t know what your plans are past 80, but I don’t want to lose you!” Kara spat out.

Lena looked at Kara in shock, and then she stood up slowly and turned away from Kara. Now, Kara was looking at Lena’s back. Lena cast her eyes to the ground.

“I…um…” Lena didn’t know what to say.

“Lena aside from Alex, you are the only big constant in my life. No matter what I go through, you are always right there. You comfort me in all things and give me the strength to be brave. I love J’onn. I love Brainy. I love Nia. I love Esme. Losing Alex and Kelly will break my heart. However, losing you if I don’t have to will devastate me.”

“Do we really have to think about these things now Kara?” Lena shook her head. “I mean 80 is a long ways way.”

“Which is why we have to start thinking about it now!” Kara exclaimed, crossing the kitchen to stand directly behind Lena. “You have to stop aging now. That way. That way we can be the same age.” Kara walked around and took Lena’s hands into her own.

Lena averted her eyes and tucked a loose hair behind her ear.

“You’re asking me to spend the rest of my life with you. You are asking me to spend forever with you.” Lena whispered. She felt tears sting at the back of her eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be forever. Let’s at least make it to 100 and then 150 and see how you feel. Then again, I guess if you stop yourself from aging until 150, you might live another 100 years until 250.” Kara mumbled to herself. “I don’t fully understand the magic.”

Lena pulled her hands out of Kara’s hands. Over the last 10 years, Lena had become an exceptional earth witch. She knew whatever spell Kara was referring to would not be difficult for her. However, this… this…

Lena turned away from Kara and grabbed her purse. She decided that tonight probably wasn’t a good night to spend the night, even though she often slept in Kara’s guest room on Tuesdays.

“No.” Lena said under her breath at first.

“Excuse me.” Kara asked. Kara and Lena both knew that Kara heard Lena correctly the first time.

“No… I don’t want to do that. I don’t… I don’t want to not go old with you.”

Tears stung Kara’s eyes. A sob caught in her chest as she felt her heart break.

“This…” Lena shook her head. “This doesn’t feel like love to me.” Tears stung Lena’s eyes. “I mean what are we even doing. We spend more nights at each other’s houses then at our own houses. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We’ve dated men off and on, but we have not have good consistent boyfriends since we met.”

Lena shook her head.

“I keep trying to tell myself that you’re my best friend, and that this is a normal friendship.” Lena wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek. “But it’s not normal. You just asked me to spend forever with you and just you, because God knows that everyone else would age and die.”

“Lena. I am sorry if I offended you. I just… I don’t want to live without you. After my family passes away, you will make life worth living.”

Now tears chased their way down both women’s cheeks. Lena sniffled

“Why are you asking me this?” Lena shook her head. “You never asked me to be your girlfriend or your wife? Yet now you’re asking me for a union greater than marriage. You’re asking me for a union in which there is no death to do us part.”

Kara’s eyes grew wide.

That was what Kara was asking. She was basically asking Lena to marry her time ten, but Kara wasn’t mad at it. She had didn’t various guys since she had met Lena, and they all were dull and one-dimensional compared to Lena. Kara felt fully known by Lena, and there was no one that compared to her.

“What are you really asking me Kara?” Lena asked expecting Kara to say ‘never mind’.

Kara walked up to Lena from behind and wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist.

“That is what I want. Do you want that too?” Kara asked.

There was a wanting in Lena’s eyes.

Kara leaned in and gently kissed Lena’s lips. Lena gasped, before she placed a hand on Kara’s face and gently kissed Kara. Kara deepened the kiss and pushed Lena against the table.

“Ugh… mmm…” Lena gasped when she felt Kara’s knee moved between her thighs and to her… “Ugh…” The sexual desire and tension were so potent. Lena swallowed hard. Kara leaned down and kissed Lena’s collarbone.

Kara understood what Lena was asking. It was a fair request. After all these years, Kara needed to know if her and Lena could be more. She needed to know if the physical intimacy was there or if it did not extend further than her interactions with men.

Kara watched Lena’s body language keenly. She unbuttoned the top two buttons on Lena’s high waisted pants. She slid her down Lena’s pants and under her underwear.

The two stood there for long moment.

Tears began to run down Lena’s cheeks. She dug her fingernails into Kara’s back.

“Ugh…” Lena’s head fell back. Her whole body tensed and then convulsed. She held Kara tightly as her stomach and thighs flexed. Her mouth fell ajar. “Fuck…” Lena cried as Kara’s fingers took their interaction to another to another level, and then it hit. The sensation washed over Lena, filling her with ecstasy, and then she went limp in Kara’s arms and the two women kissed.

Lena hadn’t felt that sensation since she used her vibrator this morning, and what Kara just did blew the vibrator away.

“I love you, Lena Luthor.” Kara confessed with a blush in her cheeks as she realized how Lena’s climax aroused her.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you whether its 100 years or 1000 years. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but I am ready to put a label on this thing and add some fun activities as well.” Kara flirted as she leaned in and kissed Lena’s lips again. “What do you say?”

“I love you Kara Zor-El Danvers. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. The thought of us potentially having 1000 years together only makes it sweeter.”

[hobbitkiller]

She-Ra, Supergirl, and Tangled: A Tale of Three Female Relationships: Part 3

*SPOILER WARNING FOR SHE-RA, SUPERGIRL, AND TANGLED: THE SERIES*

Previously on “A Tale of Three Female Relationships” AKA HobbitKiller clearly misses grad school but not enough to find secondary sources for a multi-part tublr. post (or thoroughly proofread):

In Part 2, I discussed the impact narcissistic mother figures, resentment for chosen ones, and repressing emotions has had on three female relationships in three different series: Adora and Catra from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Lena and Kara from Supergirl, and Rapunzel and Cassandra from Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure.

These posts are a deep dive into where these relationships went wrong and will eventually culminate in a discussion of what these relationships say about the portrayal of female characters and female relationships in media.

For today’s installment, I will be covering two subjects: Blond Bulldozers and I Don’t Care (I Ship It). WARNING: This one gets reallllllly long. Like, possibly multiple sittings.

PART VI: BLOND BULLDOZERS

In my first post in this series, I jokingly mentioned that one half in all three of these relationships is a superpowered blonde who saves the world.

There are of course many implications in the fact that, though all three of these shows strive for increased diversity compared to their source material (It is also interesting that these are all shows based on pre-existing franchises), the main character continues to be a fair-skinned blond woman. 

That’s mostly a matter to be discussed another day, but I do find it interesting that all of these relationships feature one blond and one not-blond. Lena and Cassandra have black hair, and Catra is...well...a cat-person. Beyond that, the blond is not only the hero, but is typically depicted as morally superior and more righteous. Kara, AKA Supergirl, was literally declared the “Paragon of Hope” in the latest CW crossover, Crisis on Infinite Earths. That title could just as easily have gone to Rapunzel whose chief characteristics are her optimism, desire to see others achieve their dreams, and belief that everyone gets a second chance no matter their criminal past and exploits (seriously, everyone in Corona--the name of the kingdom unfortunately for right now--gets one total pardon as long as they’re sorry even if the tried to kill multiple people). Adora is a little less cotton-candy that Kara or Rapunzel. She has the same moral righteousness, but actually has more of an edge to her than many of her friends due to her upbringing as a child soldier. Still, all three blondes are meant, for the most part, to be the moral center of their shows.

But, the thing is, when I look at these relationships, I can’t help but think of another popular blonde/not blonde friendship that went wrong:

Ahhh, Wicked, the prototypical female friendship story for so many of us. Wicked aims to take this classic dynamic of the morally pure blond protagonist and their dark-haired frienemy and turn it a bit on its head. Throughout the musical, Glinda is treated as pure, superior, and good because she is flattering and pretty. In reality, Glinda is often selfish and lacks the courage to stand up to people and systems she believes are wrong. Elphaba, on the other hand, is treated like an outcast because of her green skin and social awkwardness. Yet, for most of the musical, she is the one with the moral righteousness. She is labeled “wicked” by those in power for challenging them and standing up to them.

We’ll discuss Wicked more in the finale of this multi-part post.

For now, I’d like to contrast that relationship to the three being analyzed right now. None of these three shows goes as far as Wicked did to undermine this trope of the perfect blond versus the darker brunette. This makes sense as none of the three properties is seeking to deconstruct their source material or turn it on its head in the way Wicked aims to do so for the Wizard of Oz (the movie more than anything else). They seek to update and diversify certain aspects to be sure (someone heard loud and clear the criticism that there are no people of color in Tangled), but not to challenge them.

That being said, each show does try to layer in flaws in their blond protagonists approach to relationships. These flaws tend to be more subtle than those of the people around them, perhaps to protect said blondes from becoming too unlikeable, but they are clearly there.

In the last post, I talked a lot about the resentment of the non-blondes in these relationships and how that helped lead to the relationships falling apart. Those characters are also much more the aggressors in said relationships and are much more set on taking down the other party.

However, the blondes in each relationship are not without blame for it falling apart.

In the previous post, I discussed how being friends of a so-called “chosen one” or “golden child” can breed resentment. I also mentioned that raising someone as a “golden child” is its own form of abuse. It creates a level of unrealistic expectations to always be perfect and responsible. It can be the same for a “chosen one.”

Adora, Kara, and Rapunzel all feel a tremendous amount of responsibility as the “saviors” of their respective worlds. This manifests itself in a need to constantly “fix” everyone else’s problems. Adora frequently describes her need to fix whatever goes wrong in the Rebellion. Kara feels it’s her job to fix things so much that she contacted her former boss’s estranged son behind her back to try to reconnect them. Rapunzel frequently becomes involved in the personal lives of her friends for the sake of fixing their problems.

To an extent, this is a good quality. All three of our blond saviors have good hearts and don’t want to see anyone else suffer, partially because all of them have suffered their own childhood traumas from being raised as a child soldier to witnessing one’s entire planet and species destroyed to being held prisoner for 18 years.

However, as the title of this section suggests, all three of these characters tend to take a bulldozer approach to their involvement with their loved ones’ lives. This creates tension in many of their relationships, not just those discussed in these posts. Adora’s attempts to help her friend Glimmer after Glimmer becomes queen come off as controlling and as though Adora doesn’t respect Glimmer’s position of authority. Kara, in addition to the incident with her boss’s son, had also tried to control the life of another alien (and eventual boyfriend), Mon El as well as did things like break into her sister’s apartment when she was sad. Rapunzel promises to fix everyone’s problems, which leads to friends feeling betrayed when she can’t follow through. She also frequently intrudes in Cassandra’s life and plans.

One of the most threatening things for people like Catra, Lena, or Cassandra is to feel as though they do not have control over their lives. When you already have trust issues, feeling like someone else is trying to control you can feel like you’re being trapped. Control is particularly important to Lena. In many ways, she has the same feelings of responsibility as Kara. Like Kara, Lena, having been raised by one of the most powerful and influential families on the planet, feels a sense of responsibility to be a world leader. She feels that even more keenly in light of the villainous actions of her mother and brother--that she has to restore honor to the family name. As discussed in the previous post, this feeling in Lena manifests itself in her actions towards her friends through buying them things or trying to solve problems for them such as buying Kara’s and James’s place of work, Catco, to save it from being purchased by a scumbag.

This need to take back control of her life and legacy, to me, is why Lena reacts so drastically to discovering that Kara is Supergirl. Being mad at Kara for keeping secrets is, frankly, hypocritical on several counts. Not only does Lena keep many, many secrets from Kara throughout the show, but she is also fine with the fact that Alex, Kara’s sister, never told Lena explicitly that she was an agent of the Department of Extranormal Operations (DEO). Of course, the reason why Lena wasn’t mad at Alex is because Lena had already known who Alex was, thus giving her power and control in that relationship. Finding out that her friend had successfully hidden her identity for years and had been influencing events without Lena’s knowledge took away the control Lena felt she had over that relationship.

Cassandra also feels a keen lack of control over her life and her relationship with Rapunzel due to the fact that Rapunzel is both her monarch and direct employer. Cassandra serves Rapunzel and that is the first avenue through which they formed a relationship. Early in their relationship, Cassandra resented Rapunzel’s attempts to become friends and said the chance of a Lady in Waiting and a princess becoming friends was a million to one. Rapunzel, by nature of being “irrepressible” (as her friends call her), manages to worm her way into Cassandra’s heart to the point that Cassandra almost forgets that she and Rapunzel are not equals.

What I find interesting about both Cassandra and Lena is that they both, in some ways, considered themselves the protectors of their naive blond friends. While it’s true that Cassandra always knew her station was below Rapunzel, part of her job early on was teaching Rapunzel how to be a member of the court--what to do, when to curtsy, who was who, etc. In fact, Rapunzel had so little exposure to the outside world, Cass was partly responsibly for teaching her how to interact socially in general. There’s also the added factor that Cassandra is 4 years older than Rapunzel, which can seem like a lot at their ages. Lena, as previously discussed, saw herself as a major figure in shaping the future of the world. She went out of her way to help Kara by buying Catco and tried to protect Kara if they were ever in physical danger together.

Both of these characters suffered from an abrupt challenge to the relationship roles they previously thought they had. Cassandra in this scene and Lena when Lex tells her that Kara is Supergirl.

It’s interesting that, in that scene, Lex emphasizes the idea that Lena has been a fool. (And, fair enough, I’m pretty sure everyone who’s ever watched the show found it hard to believe that Lena never once realized her best friend was Supergirl. I mean...really, glasses?) But this idea, that she had been a fool plays right into Lena’s fear of losing control. It’s the idea that someone else was pulling strings while she was oblivious that taps right into her deepest insecurities.

Catra’s issues with feeling controlled by Adora are mostly revealed in the episode discussed last post called “Promise.” They come up again in the third season finale when Adora tries to convince Catra to come with her and leave a world that is crumbling out of existence and Catra declares that she will never  go with Adora, and that she won’t “let you win” and “would rather see the whole world end (which it’s doing BTW) than let that happen.” Catra believes the way to get control back from Adora is to “win” at any cost. 

In the end, this idea of “winning” becomes part of all three relationships. It’s no longer about working together or “us against the world” for the not-blondes who have felt crushed under the weight of their friends. Now it’s about achieving their goals in spite of the collateral damage.

And the most frustrating part is that the blondes are largely oblivious to the fact that they make their friends feel this way or that they are overstepping boundaries. They just think they’re doing the right thing because they’re “taking care of” or “fixing” the problem. They’re so concerned with taking care of or protecting their friends, that they don’t realize how patronizing and condescending that can feel.

So, even as these relationship turn so sour, why are so many people not only rooting for the friendship to return, but for our ladies to go the next level beyond?

PART VII: I DON’T CARE (I SHIP IT)

I sometimes wonder how the greatest point of contention, the biggest source of toxicity, and the most exhausting part of fandom became shipping. I have seen more nastiness among fans and toward creators and actors about shipping than just about anything else.

Shipping has a long history in fandom, though that term is relatively recent. People have been writing fan fiction about Kirk and Spock getting together since the show was on and fan fiction was written and shared at either in-person gatherings or through semi-underground fanzines. 

And, trust me, I’ve been in the trenches of a ship war. Back when Avatar: The Last Airbender was airing, I was a hardcore Zutara shipper. And, to be more honest, it made me a jerk. Part of that is just because I was a teenager at the time, and teenagers don’t always realize the potential impacts of their actions due to brain chemistry etc, etc. But still, the intensity with which I argued that my ship either would or should become canon when the creators of the show clearly preferred the other relationship embarrasses me when I look back at it.

These days, fandom shipping has gotten even more complicated and contentious.

Back when those women (and it was mostly women) were typing their Kirk/Spock fan fiction and mailing it to other fans, they knew Kirk and Spock would never actually get together on the show. That was the case for the majority of fandoms until very recently--that there was no expectations of actual canon lgbtq representation. People could claim there was deliberate subtext or coding, but very few, if any people, expected shows to actually have openly lgbtq characters.

Then, it started to actually happen. Not just in a, “the actor said they saw their character as gay” or “the creators said they coded that character as gay” way. Characters actually started being lgbt on screen in ways that weren’t demeaning or stereotypes. Major characters, too.

For me, a big moment that gave rise to the hopes of many that their lgbt ships might actually have a shot at being confirmed as canon was, funnily enough, the sequel show to Avatar: TLA, The Legend of Korra.

The above was the closest the couple got to an on-screen intimate moment, and some fans didn’t believe it was romantic until it was later confirmed by the show creators. Nickelodeon was only willing to go so far, after all. The followup comics, however, are much more explicit with the relationship and the two share multiple kisses and intimate moments.

Many fans argue that Korrasami (as the ship between Korra and Asami is called) was too subtle to be considered real representation. But a wave could certainly be felt throughout the world of animation afterword. Shows became even more bold about confirming lgbt characters or at least became less subtle in their coding. 

And suddenly, the idea that a main character’s finale pairing might be anything other than straight became a real possibility and, in some cases, an expectation.

In addition to the growing visibility of lgbt relationships in media, another change was slowly taking place within fandom. 

For much of modern fandom, the most popular ships have been male/male (mlm). Back when I was getting into fan fiction (because I love reminding people that I’m old), this was called “slash.” Slash was exclusively a term for mlm relationships. Same-sex relationships between women (wlw) were labeled “fem-slash,” and were much more rare.

Multiple people have discussed theories for why mlm was, and continues to be in many cases, the most popular type of ship. Some believe it has to do with the prevalence of straight women in fandom who might fetishize mlm relationships. While I have no doubt that’s partly true, I believe the other common argument has a great deal of merit: there were more mlm ships because male characters were more interesting and more prevalent. 

Star Trek: The Original Series had only two main female characters and neither of them was given close to the emotional depth as Spock or Kirk. Lord of the Rings, which was one of the most popular pieces of media on which to write fanfic when I was younger, has so few women the movies had to add in a boat load of new scenes for Arwen.

Recently, though, not only have more shows invested in writing dynamic, interesting female characters, but they have included multiple diverse female characters with relationships with each other and not just the men in the shows. 

So, not only do more people ship wlw ships, but more people expect to actually see those ships represented in their media. Never before has a wlw ship becoming “endgame” seemed more possible.

In many ways this is fantastic. More representation being not only more possible but more expected is absolutely necessary for our media to progress and grow. This has, however, lead to some growing tensions in communities where shipping has, in some ways, become its own form of activism, which means that there is not only people’s personal feelings and preferences for ships on the line, but people who feel that fighting for their ship to become canon is a proxy battle for their own acceptance. 

All three of these wlw ships mean a lot to the people who ship them, and all three have been met with the desire, and occasionally demand, of canon validation as well as a heady mess of coding, accusations of queer baiting, and the lingering question of which, if any, relationships might get the same, and hopefully more explicit, validation that Korrasami had.

Let’s start this deep dive into these relationships as ships with the one that has, in canon, already been resolved.

Yep, that’s definitely a Disney twirl going on there.

One of the first points often made when the validity of a mlm or wlw ship is questioned is that, if you say an m/f couple do the same thing, no one would question that it was romantic. This makes it interesting, and sets off the shipping alarm for anyone who’s a fan of wlw ships when Tangled: The Series goes out of its way to not only give Cass and Rapunzel (ship name: Cassunzel) romantic moments like the above “Disney twirl,” but also directly parallels relationship moments that occurred between Rapunzel and her canon boyfriend/future husband Eugene (AKA Flynn Rider).

Look familiar? It’s almost a shot-for-shot remake of Rapunzel and Eugene meeting for the first time. In this episode, Cassandra accidentally wipes Rapunzel’s memory to the point where Rapunzel thinks she’s still in the tower. It plays out, in part, as “What if Cassandra had found her instead of Eugene?”--something every shipper had doubtless already asked themselves at least once.

Another major moment of paralleling between the two relationships is the endings of both the movie and the series. 

Eugene dies in the end of Tangled only to be resurrected by Rapunzel’s love. Cassandra dies in the series finale of Tangled: The Series, only to be resurrected by Rapunzel’s love. And it is love, that much is very clear.

The only debate really, is whether it’s romantic or platonic love. 

Cassandra and Rapunzel never get official validation in the show or by the executive producers. The most confirmation fans get outside of the text of the show are comments made by some people who work on the show saying that they deliberately coded Cassandra as gay as they could whenever they could.

Yet, for the most part, the creators of this show are largely given a pass by Cassunzel shippers for not making their ship canon. Most understand that, as a Disney property, many hands are tied, particularly given that, due the previous establishment both form the end of Tangled and from the short Tangled Ever After that Rapunzel and Eugene do get married. The reaction seems to largely be that Disney and the show got about as close to confirming it as they could without doing so.

So let’s transition from the show that met, and in some ways, passed expectations to one that has set expectations super high: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. 

She-Ra is perhaps one of the most lgbtqia coded shows out there right now. The first season even ends with them saving the day with a rainbow.

Here is show-runner and executive producer Noelle Stevenson on queerness in her life and She-Ra:

Yet, despite these deliberate attempts to show representation and to challenge heteronormative ideas, the show has yet to show any of its primary characters or even second tier characters in queer romantic relationships. We have seen a few parents, one pair on in a photo, and their is one married couple of women, but none of these characters are prominently featured on the show.

She-Ra has set expectations incredibly high and has yet to deliver.

Even so, part of what sets She-Ra apart from the other two shows discussed here is that there are multiple queer shipping opportunities. Catra and Adora (ship name Catradora) are one of, if not the, most popular ships, but both Catra and Adora have other female characters with which they could be just as easily shipped.

On the one hand, the pressure is pretty high to establish at least one major queer ship before the end of the show. On the other hand, the pressure is much less that the ship specifically be Catradora.

The near-certainty that there will be one or more wlw ships confirmed before the end of She-Ra means, to me, that Catradora has the greatest chance to become canon.

So, there’s Cassunzel that never really had much of a chance for canon confirmation and Catradora, which has a better chance of becoming canon, but also has less pressure to become THE ship. Where does that leave Lena and Kara?

Anyone who has been in the Supergirl fandom knows that it can feel like a battleground. While all fandoms tend to have their issues, Supergirl’s can be so contentions that it, frankly, makes watching the show less fun. This doesn’t all fall on one groups shoulders, I’ve seen nastiness from many sides over different issues. However, the biggest point of contention tends to center around the potential ship of Lena and Kara (Supercorp). 

Supercorp, as a ship, is completely valid. Kara has way more chemistry with Lena than she has had with any of her male love interests, and two of those guys were played by people whom actress Melissa Benoist was actually in relationships with (though the first was an abusive dirtbag, so lack of chemistry probably makes sense there). Lena once thanked Kara by filling her entire office with flowers. There are cuddles, and Kara’s unwavering (until recently) faith in Lena’s goodness. It’s hard not to ship them.

The issue in the fandom, is not so much that people ship Supercorp (though there are increasingly more people who have issues with the ship itself, which is something I’ll address about all three of these ships in the next post) but the vehemence with which some who ship Supercorp approach whether it will be endgame.

In a way, the frustration is understandable. Supergirl is, in many ways, a show that has made a point of including LGBTQ representation. The second season featured a multiple episode story arc of Supergirl’s adoptive sister Alex Danvers (I will stan her until the end of time) realizing she was a lesbian, coming out, and eventually starting a relationship with another woman. Supergirl also made headlines for featuring the first live-action trans superhero on tv with the introduction of Dreamer in Season 4. The trans actress who plays Dreamer, Nicole Maines, has even had input on how the character is represented including a recent episode that discussed the often ignored violence targeting trans people, particularly trans women of color.

She-Ra and Supergirl have different approaches to representation. She-Ra takes place in a fantasy world and appears to take the approach that nothing about identity or sexuality should be assumed about anyone. There is no heteronormativity in Etheria, yet no major characters are in non-m/f relationships. Supergirl on the other hand, is set in a world more similar to ours which has heteronormativity, homophobia, and transphobia, which leads to the show making episodes and story-arcs specifically about those topics while also somewhat constraining the show. There are arguments to be made about the worth of both approaches and both can serve a purpose for viewers, particularly young viewers, who are searching for characters like them in media.

So, why are the people behind Supergirl so often accused of homophobia?

I mentioned in the Blond Bulldozers section that it is a bit telling that all three shows being discussed here attempt to create diversity while having the whitest, most mainstream character as the lead. There are many who would argue that the true values of the shows are represented by their main characters, and that the rest are window dressing to try to make the show look good as a form of tokenism. The point being that shows won’t really show a commitment to diversity until the main characters are just as diverse as the rest of the cast.

These are all valid arguments. 

A less valid argument is the claim that Supercorp is being deliberately baited by the creators of the show. Queer baiting is a term that seems to have a lot of subjectivity tied up with it. The general idea is that it is when creators purposefully use queer coding or other means to inspire queer shipping of characters as a means to draw in the queer community to their show but then never delivering on that potential.

In some ways, all three of these shows could be accused of queer baiting. The direct parallels in between Cassandra/Rapunzel and Eugene/Rapunzel were no accident. The coding and “anything can happen” while very little does on She-Ra is much the same. And Supergirl is trying to center a large part of the show around the relationship between Kara and Lena, a relationship they know many of the fans see as romantic.

Yet, to me, Supergirl, is actually a less guilty party, at least when it comes to Supercorp. One can, again, argue that the canon LGBT ships and characters exist to pander and draw in those audiences, but Supercorp, I believe, genuinely came out of a place of wanting Kara to have a strong female relationship with someone other than her sister, mother, or boss, and I’m sure this falling-out was in the plans fairly early on.

Has the show completely shut down the idea? No, I don’t think they would be foolish enough to do that. But I don’t believe that it rises to the level of baiting. Shows like Sherlock or movies like Pitch Perfect 3 are, to me, much more egregious examples.

Still, as I said, I can understand the frustration of Supercorp shippers, I just feel like the level of anger directed by some not just at the creatives who make the show but at other fans as well is not fully justified. (And yes, I know “not all Supercorps” and I also know other fans have been jerks. Sanvers shippers who are being asses about Kelly are just as bad.) And who knows? I’d never say never to the ship maybe becoming canon eventually after Kara and Lena work out their issues.

That being said, all three of these ships, regardless of canon status, are incredibly popular, and I want to examine more of what that is and the reason some people are wary of these ships and the potential messages they send. This leads me to our topics for our next installment:

MY WIFE IS A BITCH AND I LIKE HER SO MUCH

and

POISON PARADISE

I will try to make the next one shorter. Also, sorry for typos, I did not give this a thorough read-through. I used all my brain power just writing it.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Imagine... [a pseudo ficlet]

Imagine that Lena is a touch-know.

Imagine, if you will, a young Lena Luthor who feels the full force of her mother's resentment whenever Lillian touches her skin.

Imagine young Lena in a house that's stood for six generations, walking the halls with her hands tucked under her arms lest she learn any more of the secrets that hide in its walls.

Imagine Lena at boarding school, abandoning her gloves when the teasing gets to be too much. Imagine how she tries not to touch anyone, but inevitable moments of contact shows her fragments of her peers' lives-- their hardships and secrets and neglect.

Imagine how that constant stream of negativity must slowly infect her, until she adopts the same cutthroat mentality of her peers. Think of that moment, in 5th grade, when Cindy Ryan starts monopolizing the attention of Lena's best friend, Adam.

Imagine that moment when Lena, with a school's collective nastiness roiling inside her head, pulls out Cindy's diary for the world to see.

The diary is fake, but the secrets are true, and Cindy's stunned confusion at how Lena could possibly know is enough for the others to believe. Adam thinks it's a riot, and quotes the diary at Cindy until she transfers out mid year.

Lena forgets Cindy for almost a decade, before they run into each other just after graduation, at a club in Metropolis. Somewhere in the massive crowd is a mutual acquaintance, and Lena, desensitized by the presence of so many people pressing in around her, shakes her hand in polite, if forced, greeting.

The white hot hatred that pours from her skin clashes against the pleasant, easy smile curling Cindy's lips. It crawls up Lena's nose and fills her mouth with the acrid taste of vomit as she sees the nights Cindy spent over the toilet, sick with dread and anxiety. It thunders against her ears in the voice of Cindy's father berating her for not being able to stomach the words of a few stupid girls and damning her proclivity for blabbing family secrets to the entire school.

All the fear and rage and hurt swirls and swirls and in the center of it all is Lena's own face, wearing the cruel smirk of that day in 5th grade.

Lena rips her hand away and bolts. She staggers home and vomits herself, puking and sobbing into the toilet bowl. Lex laughs at the antics of new grads and hands her a towel. The next morning, Lena pulls out all her old gloves. None of them fit, so she wears her winter gloves in the dead of a Metropolis summer to the store and buys out their entire section of elbow length gloves.

She bundles up and covers all the skin she can. She claims illness until people stop asking. She stops clubbing and sticks to her lab, where everything is new and without memory.

Over weeks, then months, then years, through summers and college and grad school, Lena slowly reclaims herself. The taint of her classmates fade, until all that's left is her shame and Cindy's lingering hate, which becomes her own.

She isolates so well that when Lex's arrest is announced, it's a complete and utter shock. She visits him every week, as the company and her world shakes under her feet.

Every visit, she asks.

"Did you do it?"

Every visit, he responds.

"Of course not, ace."

And every time, Lena swallows the lump that rises to her throat.

"Say it so I believe you."

By the end of the trial, Lena's given up hope. She doesn't need to touch a thing to see where the jury's leaning, or the way Lex unravels as he realizes the same.

On her final visit, the day before closing arguments, Lena asks one last time.

"Did you do it?"

Lex's response is to lurch forward and grip her naked cheeks in his bare hands, leaning so close she can smell the toothpaste on his breath.

"You tell me."

Years of images crash over her in the time it takes the guards to wrestle him away from her. She slumps against the table, gasping as scenes of carnage flash behind her eyes, the cockpit of the Lexosuit, Superman's snarling visage as the hero pummels her over and over, driving the breath from her lungs.

She's screaming when the prison comes back into focus, and Lex is dragged from the room

Lena doesn't go to the courthouse for the verdict.

She knows what it will be. She knows what it should be.

Guilty. Guilty and guilty and guilty and guilty and...

When the board thrusts the company at her, so she can hold the reins while LuthorCorp gallops full tilt towards the looming precipice, Lena accepts on one condition: she won't watch the company die.

If she gets control, then she keeps control when the stocks recover and then rise. She vows to reach new heights. Maybe it'll be enough to wash the blood from her nightmares.

National City is... unpleasant. Too warm for gloves, no matter how light. But she pulls them on every morning, rolls up her sleeves, and gets to work.

When she meets Kara Danvers, the reporter doesn't bat an eye at the gloves. She's the first interviewer not to ask about them. Lena waits for the inevitable curiosity, as acquaintance slowly turns to friendship-- but it never comes.

Her first game night, Lena discovers just how affectionate Kara is with her friends. Touches and hugs and leans on the couch. But never with Lena. It's a stark realization. Lena tries and fails not to be hurt, for suddenly feeling on the outside.

The hurt turns to chagrin when she sees Kara reach for her hand at their next lunch date, only to turn aside at the last minute, grabbing a napkin instead. It's so smooth Lena would have missed it if she hadn't been so on edge after game night. Only then does she realize: the lack of affection isn't a lack of affection.

It's respect for the boundaries Kara perceives in her long gloves and instinctive habit of curling in on herself.

Relief drives Lena to break the pattern. As Kara leaves, Lena reaches out to grasp Kara's wrist.

"Thank you for inviting me the other night," she says honestly. "I had a great time."

Kara's smile is blinding. Her hand covers Lena's, and even through the glove the touch is warm. It shoots a bolt of delight through Lena's sternum, and the last of her doubts drift away. The touches soon become a matter of course. Always soft, always through fabric, as though Kara sees exactly what she is and accepts her in sum.

And for now, it's enough.

[nerdsbianhokie]

To go off your other anon post. My friend is 24 dating a 29 year old so it does happen.... But I agree I think one would have to age down Lucy and Maggie a few years as well. Maybe 26-28. I mean 5 years is not big but on the "lived life" kind of way it is. Alex would just be out of school. But I have never heard that Kara is older AU...I like that.

Oh, I wasnt trying to say it doesn't happen. I know it happens, and that it happens in good healthy relationships. There's about 3/4 years between me and my gf. I was just saying that it would have to be done right and, what I'm not sure if I did mention, I was exhausted what I initially responded and didn't have the energy to put into it.

It would also hinge on where Alex is regarding coming out and her spiral in grad school. One of the things with age gaps isn't always the actual age, it's the power differences. If you have an Alex who is destroying herself under the pressure of everything, and not out yet, there's a big power difference and her side of the relationship, imo, would be more hero worship/mentee then healthy romantic relationship.

But, if Alex is on more stable footing, and they meet in a place where they are equals, it's different.

Also, having them talk about the age difference would be important. There's less of a gap between me and my gf, and we talked about it in the beginning, especially cause I was still 22 when we started dating (just a week shy of my 23rd bday, but still).

And, I've been thinking about the 'robbing the cradle' joke, and I think once they're settled and all kinda secure in the relationship, it comes up every now and then. Especially as they all get older and Alex is just 'we are all in our fifites, please stop'

[cards-onthetable]

Hi, is this Jamko Grievances Hotline?

(This is it y’all, Aussie’s letting loose. Straight text is hers; any of my own additions are italicized. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, AUSSIE!)

My perception of Eddie season 4 - younger than Jamie, sheltered upbringing, bit of a private school princess as we say here. Rookie so she has a steep learning curve ahead of her. All pretty normal I think. Fyi I don't buy the BS that nobody saw their chemistry etc behind the scenes. Her whole "You're my first Reagan, be gentle" was to me the very beginning of this farce. It was obvious she was brought into the show to be his eventual love interest.

Season 5 - 1st episode Jamie loses his shit when Eddie pushed to the ground. Eddie apparently doesn't realise Jamie wants to jump her bones? doubt it but ok writers. His talk with Erin about Teresa Mancini being his first crush because Jamie likes opinionated bossy women etc. So writers/producers clearly want idea in viewers minds that yeah he wants her but noble, never-screw-your-partner Jamie Reagan denies it and Eddie supposedly remains oblivious.

Episode 2 - Jamie sides with Kara Walsh much to Eddie's disgust. It's Eddie that talks about bringing stink back with him etc after he partners with Walsh. It's Eddie talking about nobody trusts a rat etc etc. (geez I hate season 9)

The rest of the season passes with Eddie being kidnapped  (Jamie handled that smoothly didn't he)? and  Eddie's first kill. He wants to be there for her. Eddie also wants him there. Ok I get slow burn in TV shows but they in my mind have already crossed lines emotionally and MR HARVARD GRAD on some level has to know this. Eddie always showed signs of knowing she had feelings in my opinion.

Eddie undercover and Jamie loses his shit with Danny about getting his partner out etc. Danny and Maria knew about their feelings. Hell seems basically the entire precinct did but ok this slow burn shit continues all the while Jamie believing can't go there because dangerous on job blah blah blah. Sorry but you are already compromised. (AGREED. They’ve been emotionally compromised since early on.)

Season 6 - More interesting for me because Eddie started to be more his equal I felt. She would express opinions and argue more with him. But I did not like her "do you know who my partner's father is" BS (same, I still struggle to categorize that as a momentary lapse in judgment? A scared gut reaction when she got confronted? Not sure, but it was gross). They also had a fight in episode 11 when Eddie got them assigned to a detective detail. Eddie's "I'm not gonna apologise for wanting a career". Opinionated Eddie on display. You know the type Jamie is always attracted to. But still this slow burn BS continues. 

Season 7 - Well we all know how that played out. The year they confess feelings (no, the year Eddie confessed feelings in a moving, vulnerable moment and Jamie stammered about bad ideas and roads they’ve been down before. 😒😒), pash, attend out of town weddings together and get into fights. But yeah ok JUST PARTNERS. Honestly fuck off BB it's just a farce. Oh wait we are now going to ignore the kiss etc. Erase it from your memories like it never happened folks. UGH UGH UGH.

Season 8 - Mostly about Danny and losing Linda at first. OK I can deal with that. Jamko dinner date at the Chinese restaurant and we're reviving the sexual tension again. JUST FUCK ALREADY. But nope surprise Eddie has a boyfriend called Barry. Well she is entitled to her life considering the WE ARE JUST PARTNERS BS!! But apparently this boyfriend is enough to make Jamie stop and think as opposed to the other men that have come and gone. Yeah she got shot, Jamie could've lost her etc etc. Barry mentioned again so Eddie was still with him or had very recently split oh hey surprise WE'RE ENGAGED - (Adam Sandler starts in my head BUT IT ALL WAS BULLSHIT IT WAS A GODDAMN JOKE).

As an aside I absolutely hated the episode where Eddie recognised the absolute pig from her past and used her job to get even. Showing Eddie to be that unprofessional and needing to be brought to heel by Jamie and Erin really pissed  me off. That right there is why Eddie is considered beneath Jamie by the I hate Eddie brigade. I understand being shocked running into the guy but showing Eddie to have such poor judgement just didn't sit well. And hey T.O. you failed cos you probably should've taught her that you can't use your authority for personal gain but clearly you didn't but you know it's wrong so the all powerful Reagans can get you out of the trouble silly little Eddie tried to get herself in.

Season 9 - ARE THEY FUCKING JOKING? 

1 - Still working together because their judgement won't be affected in a negative way. oops Eddie trapped in fire and Jamie loses his shit.  But ok engaged and working together CHANGES NOTHING

2 - Jamie promoted and getting transferred and immediately Eddie brings up putting in for a transfer. He says no. He then requests her. She says no. Good maybe they really will let them be separated at work which given it meant Eddie basically relegated to family dinners surprised me.

3 - Oh my guy's being talked about meanly. This won't do. FYI I actually was ok with Jamie appearing a bit irritated when she arrived at work as his girlfriend. I like to keep home and personal separate so I could understand his less than thrilled reaction but that's not everyone's cup of tea and I understand that. But hey spoiler BB his colleagues have seen his girlfriend you morons, so transferring her into work there by end of episode and pretending people don't know IS BULLSHIT

4 - Think I already discussed this with @ontherockswithsalt but I was irritated. Jamie made it clear he did not trust that detective and Eddie seemed to see it solely as an attack on her capabilities. Old Eddie I think would've at least listened. But SHIT goes wrong and it is Jamie coming to rescue Eddie. I understood why the majority felt Jamie over stepped and Eddie is trained etc. But she had found herself in an out of control situation because she was pinned with breath knocked out of her and help was not coming until it had gone further. Jamie is aware of what this arse would be rapist is doing. He is aware of Eddie's history with sexual assault. He does not trust this detective. THE MAN IN JAMIE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT HIS WOMAN WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WORKING TOGETHER IS TOTAL BULLSHIT KEVIN WADE AND YOU KNOW IT. That was not Sergeant  Reagan that was ANGRY JAMIE out to play. But Eddie is upset which i get because she feels it's an attack on her capabilities and no chick is gonna be happy with that and she talks about "we agreed we'd separate work and home Jamie you gotta choose". 

5 - It was Eddie telling Sean about what it means to be a Reagan, higher standards etc etc. Oh look a little bit of affection seeing Jack off. Works for me because they are at home, not working. 

6 - He puts both Maya and Eddie on foot patrol AND SHE DEFENDS HIM? Oh come on Old Eddie is not that stupid. Sorry it's Eddie 2.0 this season, I forgot. So again it's Jamie Reagan the HARVARD GRAD telling her that was a mistake well NO SHIT and old Eddie wouldn't have done it.

7 - I kinda enjoyed that low growl as he went to kiss her in the kitchen. Her mum's a delight but to me supportive Jamie was on display this episode because they were at home. He can be Jamie there. At work he's supposedly Sergeant Reagan not Jamie.

8 - Jamie upset with his decision and Eddie is supportive. Only really saw them at home so nothing really annoyed me here.

9 - Eddie and Maya and 2 others supposedly bullied and Jamie has to explain why it's a bad look. Not convinced old Eddie would be so keen to just let the loud mouths go but maybe the point was to suggest Eddie really not that capable without Jamie by her side? Oh no it's not that because Eddie caught the wanted killer. You girl. Then their boss tells Frank he's not blowing smoke when praising them. So what their CO does know?

10 - NO NO NO. EDDIE FLAT OUT LIES WHEN ASKED BY MAYA HOW LONG THEY BEEN SLEEPING TOGETHER. BUT OH NO JAMIE IN A SHOOT OUT AND HERE COMES EDDIE RUNNING SERGEANT REAGAN ARE YOU OK WITH THE PUPPY EYES. But ok sure Maya and co believe you aren't screwing. BULLSHIT

11 - Jamie stuffs up. Did that actually happen? He makes a mistake someone gets shot and nothing is said? SAY WHAT? Also Eddie has to pull Jamie off the shooter and is calling him Jamie which apparently is wrong so again THEY ALL KNOW YOU ARE SCREWING FOLKS.

12 - I'm annoyed that anyone can mention 100k and wedding in same breath but hey maybe that's really what a wedding in NYC costs. Wedding talk bores me so I found that episode blah. He certainly needs to learn to express himself better. The venue seemed ok I guess.

13 - Wedding dress description to the guy you gonna marry? I'm bored. Oh wait personal and professional lives must be separated so yeah it seems really logical to therefore be discussing their issues at work. What's this did Jamie just tell her he loves her in busy precinct? Ok maybe it's me who has a head injury because I thought we were still playing secret squirrel.

14 - Not that much Jamko really but hey Henry while I understand Danny's point I am firmly team Jamie because how on Earth can he maintain any discipline/control when his own brother totally disregards him? Henry and Frank care more about Frank's precious job and the family name. OH Fuck Me Frank Reagan's bullshit is a separate rant. Did love the dinner table spat though. Give me more of that. Also kinda impresses by that saga at the end.

15 - we've discussed this

16 - Nice to see them working together I guess 

17 - Maya corrupt. I'm ho hum in a way. I kinda think making the first black recurring police officer corrupt plays into the ‘blue bloods is racist’ crowd but I really don't know enough about the culture there. I did like Jamie having her arrested  at roll call because I'm all for sending a message. Again this woking together and screwing is BS but hey that's the theme of the season.

18 - Who knows I haven't seen much but I'm over it. IT DOES NOT WORK. END OF STORY.

But in closing Eddie does look like can't be trusted in my opinion because she came to the new precinct that was known to be trouble. And for a year her and her boss have been lying. Jamie has the Sergeant has power. Eddie does not. Given how rats are seen how does Eddie's position not come with major blow back when all is revealed? Jamie can't shield her cos that'd be playing favourites and hey we keep work and home separate (except for when we don't) BECAUSE IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

If the go ahead with season 10 and I'm silly enough to watch I am hoping for serious fallout. I want Eddie ostracised at work because I think that is realistic and they supposedly pride themselves on being real. I think it would be interesting character development for Eddie and also for Jamie because HEY HARVARD HOW'S BEING A BULLSHIT ARTIST WORKING FOR YA? I'd like to see HARVARD have to grapple with how his stupidity has truly affected the woman he loves. And hey maybe Eddie can return to her old self.

This dummy spit written and authorised by Aussie.

Sorry if I've broken your eyes due to eye rolling.

[willelbyers]

Shadow

Summary: ‘“You would not believe the day I’ve had,” Mike sighs, tossing his bag onto the counter.

Will looks up from the stove, where he’s cooking rice. “Well hello to you, too.”’

Mike has a story to report on, and Will’s suspiciously not pleased.

Pairings: Mike/Will, background Lucas/Max, past Mike/El

Notes: It’s a future-fic, about 4,200 words, with the whole Party mentioned if not involved somehow. It’s set in the mid 1990′s, most of the Party is either done with school or going to grad school. Mike’s a reporter for the NYT, Will is a freelance artist applying for a teaching job, Lucas is going to school for engineering, Dustin is a marine biologist, El is doing vigilante work, and Max’s occupation isn’t mentioned but I’m going to tell you right now that she’s a stunt coordinator for movies. There are a few suuuper minor original characters mostly there to push the plot forward.

prompt: @ anon: Wait, my hero’s secret identity is… you? To be honest, I’d kind of always hoped… + Byeler

Posted on Ao3 here as well as written out below the cut. Enjoy!

November

“Hey,” the woman snaps, grabbing his arm. She’s young, with startlingly piercing eyes—and a really annoyed expression. “You work here?”

Mike blinks at her, coffee clutched in his hand, her own hand on his wrist. “Well, that’s what it says here.” He points at his ID, hanging around his neck, with his free hand. “Um. Who are you?”

“I need to speak with someone who can write an article,” she continues, not answering the question. “I have a story.”

“Your name, miss,” Mike insists, because look. He’d be happy to help. But she probably doesn’t have clearance to even be in the building, and if he can’t even bring Will in for the occasional lunch then he can’t let some random lady in, either.

“Kara Sigo,” she says, finally. “And before you ask, no, I’m not supposed to be here, but I need to speak with someone who’ll listen to my story.”

Mike takes a moment—just a moment. He’s bored, okay? “Okay. I can listen. Ten minutes.”

She grins at him, smile thin. “Sure. You’re gonna end up listening to me for a longer time than that, anyway.”

“You would not believe the day I’ve had,” Mike sighs, tossing his bag onto the counter.

Will looks up from the stove, where he’s cooking rice. “Well hello to you, too.”

Mike sighs again, making his way to the small fridge. “Sorry. Hi. It’s been crazy.”

“Tell me,” Will says, flicking off the burner and spooning some rice onto small plates. There’s a little bit of chicken in the fridge, so Mike pulls that out.

“Some woman came in to the building today,” Mike starts, picking up forks. “Got past security—the New York Times, what awesome safety precautions! Anyway, she told me this whole story about how some guy tried to mug her last night. And that’s not weird at all, but what she said next was.” He waves his fork before scooping up some rice. “She said that somebody, some shadowy figure, just, like. Appeared. And saved her. Knocked the guy right out and then vanished just like he’d come. She couldn’t even see what he looked like.”

Will looks startled, eyes slightly wide. His food remains nearly untouched on the counter. “Huh,” he says, letting a little huff out of his nose.

“The weirdest thing?” Mike says. “I believe her.” Will blinks and he shrugs. “We’ve seen stranger stuff, right? El, the Upside-Down, everything we know about Eight—Kali. Maybe this guy is another subject.” He leans forward onto the counter. “Should we call El? I mean, you guys have been working with Owens, trying to find the others. Maybe this is a lead.”

Will doesn’t respond for a moment, looking lost in thought, so Mike nudges him. Will looks at him. “Yeah, sure. I’ll check in with her.”

“At least,” Mike says after a moment, “I believe she believes what she saw. If this doesn’t pan out.”

“Hmm.”

They eat in silence for a while, the scraping of forks against plates the only noise.

“Oh,” Will says suddenly, setting his fork down. “Lucas called earlier. He’s got a few days off in a week, so he’s gonna come visit. Max’s schedule may line up, too, but they’re not sure yet.”

“Alright,” Mike shrugs. “Remind me to clean beforehand and we’ll be good.” He pauses. “Wait, when did Lucas call? When did you get back?”

Will shrugs. “He called around noon, and I got back at around… three in the morning? Good to know I didn’t wake you up. I tried to get home earlier, but Mrs. Rodriguez insisted on her kitchen getting finished literally yesterday so I had to finish up the paint job.”

“Man, she’s a piece of work,” Mike laughs, throwing his head back. “She’s kept you overtime at least five times!”

Will laughs, too. “Well, you’ll be glad to know that I finished that project. I’m gonna be working on a mural for that school down the street for a few weeks while my job applications get reviewed.”

“Good,” Mike says firmly. “You deserve that job, you’ve wanted to teach art for ages.”

“Thanks, Mike.” Will looks down as he says it, face slightly pink, and Mike grins. He takes pride in being one of the few who can make Will see how highly others think of him.

“Always,” Mike says, because it’s true.

Kara is sitting at his desk the next morning, and Mike stops in his tracks as he sees her. “Jesus. We really need actual security.” He plasters on a smile and walks towards her. “Miss Sigo. As much as your story interests me, you really should call ahead.”

“Kara,” she replies. “Call me Kara. You can’t be very old, and it’s weird for someone around my age to be calling me ‘miss’. And I will call ahead next time.”

“Better late than never, I guess,” Mike shrugs. There’s gonna be a next time? “So, Kara, what brings you back here?”

“My story,” she says like he’s an idiot. “Except it just got better.” She tips her head at a younger girl hovering by the wall, who Mike hadn’t noticed. “She goes to school with my younger sister. She heard my story and came to talk to me right away. She met the shadow figure, too.” Kara gestures for the girl to come over, and she does. Slowly.

“Hi,” she says, voice soft. “I’m Jen. And Kara’s right. I saw him.” She leans forward, voice dropping until she’s basically whispering in his ear. “And even better: I remember what he looks like.”

The story gets published, and there are four additional witnesses for Mike to add to the piece—two older women, an older man, and a teenage boy. The story probably is helped along by the fact that the boy is his boss’s nephew.

And there’s a drawing. One of the witnesses, the older man, is a freelance artist like Will, and Mike gives him the task of drawing what Jen had seen. And, look—it’s a good drawing but not a great likeness, there’s still far too much shadow across his face. But you can see a man there—no, a boy around, Mike’s age. Young, narrow and sharp, pale, hair flopping over his forehead, frown playing across his lips. It could be almost anyone, or at least, any young light-skinned guy. But there’s—there’s a person there.

He comes home that day in a happy daze, but as soon as he walks into the apartment he and Will share he’s met with a sharp smacking sound as a copy of the New York Times bounces off his chest.

“Ow,” he says belatedly, even though it didn’t hurt because it’s a paper. But Will is still standing there, glaring at him. “What?”

“Why did you publish this?” Will asks. He nudges the paper with a toe, and Mike feels a flash of annoyance.

“I write stuff, Will,” he says. “That’s my job. This story fell into my lap, and you know I had to take it.”

“It can’t be safe, Mike,” Will protests. “You—you know what this is like. Do you—do you see the byline?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Yes, Will, I see my name.”

“No, Mike!” he snaps. “This is you. People will know who you are. People who might think this is fake could ruin you, and the people who committed those crimes will look at you!”

“So what? It’s not dangerous, is it? You said El didn’t know anything about this guy, so he’s not a lab subject. First-person accounts aren’t always accurate. The adrenaline can get to the witnesses. Kara and Jen and the others might have just seen some guy save them in the middle of the night and the power of suggestion got to them. It could just be a normal guy. So it’s fine.” Mike knows, as he says it, that it sounds stupid and contradictory. How would six different people have those same accounts? And it’s not like he doubts this shadow man could exist—he’s seen so much weirder. But. “Don’t take this from me, Will. Please. This is—this is big. Powers or not, this guy is giving me a real story.”

He doesn’t want to fight, and Will must see it on his face, because his own face relaxes, resigned. “Yeah. I just—yeah. I worry.”

“I know.” Mike steps forward, over the fallen paper, and hugs Will tight. “You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do,” Will mutters into his shoulder, softly, and Mike just holds him closer.

“So, Max called me yesterday and said she’d come in three days. She’s gonna try to stay with a cousin in Brooklyn, but if that falls through…” Lucas trails off as he glances out the window of diner, his implication clear. The rapidly darkening sky casts a purple haze across the restaurant.

“Of course she can stay with us,” Mike assures him, glancing at Will, in the seat next to him, to make sure there’s no dissent. There doesn’t seem to be any. “Seriously, we’ve got everything all set for you guys. Dude. Tell us what you’ve been up to!”

Lucas grins and launches into an explanation of his engineering classes at Brown, excited, and Mike can’t blame him—Lucas is so close to being done with college, for real. It’s something he and Will both can’t really relate to, seeing as they only went to typical four years and then immediately looked for a job. No; Lucas wants it all, and he’s good enough for it.

He casts a glance at Will, who is looking at Lucas, but he notices his brow is furrowed and his head tilted, like he’s listening to something faint. Mike hooks his ankle into Will’s for a moment, startling him. You okay? he mouths, and when Will just shrugs and smiles in return, Mike accepts that. Will doesn’t really hide stuff from him anymore, not since the Mind Flayer. There hasn’t really been a point.

“And you guys?” Lucas finishes. “El calls me, like, once every two weeks, so I know a little bit about Will, but Dustin’s always just talking about marine biology, which isn’t any help.” He grins a little. “But I saw that Mikey-boy has an article out! A big one, huh?” 
“Yeah,” Mike tries to tamp down a proud smile. “I didn’t really do anything. The story happened to fall to me, and I did the interviews and wrote the article.”

“He’s being humble,” Will counters, standing. “Mike’s a really good reporter. Now, I have to use the bathroom, so I’ll be right back.” He makes his way to the back, and Mike watches him until he turns the corner.

Instantly, Lucas leans across the table. “So. How are you guys?”

“We just told you,” Mike replies, confused. “Fine. Jobs are fi—”

“No, not the jobs,” Lucas dismisses. “I mean you guys. As humans. Living together still working out and everything? You… I don’t know, dating anyone?”

“No,” Mike says, maybe a little too quick for his own liking, but there’s something in Lucas’s tone that makes him nervous. Lucas doesn’t seem to notice. “I mean, living together is fine. Good. Saves money, and we get along, obviously. My job makes enough, and Will gets those government subsidies. But dating… no, not that. Too busy, I guess, and El and I didn’t carry on like you and Max did. Again. Obviously. You knew that, you were there.” God, he’s rambling for no reason. Will better get back soon, because he’s making a fool of himself.

As if on cue, Will appears from the back of the diner, smoothing down his shirt. He drops back into his seat in the booth, next to Mike. “Alright, where were we? Did I miss anything?”

“Not really, I—who, dude!” Lucas cuts himself off, eyebrows shooting up. Will looks vaguely startled by his rapid reaction. “Your nose is bleeding.”

“Oh, shit.” Mike’s startled by Will’s curse, because he doesn’t really do it, but the amount of blood pooling on Will’s upper lip probably does warrant it. He snatches up a napkin and hands it to Will, who pinches his nose with it.

“What happened?” Mike asks.

“No clue,” Will replies, muffled through the napkin. “It’s kind of dry out, that’s always what Hopper said makes some people’s noses bleed.”

“Speaking of a Hopper,” Lucas says. “El told me a little bit about that project of yours, using the lab systems to find the others. Tell me about it. As much as you can, I know it’s classified.”

Will grins around the napkin. “Oh, you’re gonna love it.”

And Mike listens, because he really does want to hear about this.

The next day, he arrives at work to find an unfamiliar boy at his desk.

“Uh, hi,” he says, and when the boy turns around Mike takes a step back. He looks terrible—sixteen or seventeen at the oldest, bruise on his cheek, cuts and scratches up his neck and onto his face.

“Hi,” the boy replies. “You’re Michael Wheeler?”

“Yep.”

“Good. Hi. I need to talk to you about the man, the man in the dark. He saved my life last night.”

“Look, Will, are you sure El didn’t know him?” Mike pesters. “I know I said it could just be a normal guy. But someone else saw the shadowy guy yesterday, barely a block from where we were with Lucas! And he gave some pretty good descriptions, and. I just. I really think he has powers.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “The kid today, James, said that this guy was… shrouded in smoke. He could disappear and reappear places, and the smoke could hold things and move stuff. And he said the guy attacking him… James said it looked like he thought he was going insane, like the shadow man was talking to him up here.” He taps his head. “I don’t know. Just. Maybe I should call El.”

“She said no, Mike,” Will insists. “Look, I’ll ask her to look into it again if you want. But maybe you should let it go. Maybe this guy is covering himself in smoke for a reason, so no one knows who he is. His face is always in shadow, right?” He sounds uncertain, like he’s not sure what to say. That puzzles Mike, because Will is always calm and collected. Ever since the Mind Flayer, Will just… knows. He knows what to do. Maybe being so close to dying gave him perspective or something, but it doesn’t matter because the bottom line is that being uncertain isn’t Will’s forte. Mike… he has to wonder what Will doesn’t want him knowing about the shadow. If maybe he knows something he shouldn’t.

“Shadow,” Mike mutters. “Yeah.”

His next piece is titled just that.

SHADOW: New York’s Silent Hero

And people read it.

Including, it appears, all the way in Amsterdam.

“Hello?” he says into the phone. Will’s out grocery shopping, and Lucas and Max are probably out at some bar, so Mike is eating dinner by himself in the kitchen.

“Mike Wheeler!” an angry voice yells, and he winces, pulling it away from his ear.

“El?” he asks. “Uh. Hi?”

“Your… article! Dad called me and told me about the… the Shadow! You should have told me sooner. I can’t look at our research until I get back from Europe!”

“You’re in Europe?”

“Amsterdam. Yes. Tracking down a lead on Six. That’s not the point. Why didn’t you call?”

“I…” Then he realizes. “I thought Will did.”

“Well, he didn’t.”

“He said he did.”

“He… what?”

Mike suddenly feels numb. “He lied to me.” It’s unreal. “He lied to me.”

“Mike,” El says, suddenly sounding hesitant. “Mike, just think for a minute—” 
“He lied.” He lowers the phone. “El. I’ll call you back.”

“No, no, Mike, maybe Will is—”

He puts the phone back into the cradle and grabs his jacket. The door slams shut behind him.

He runs down the street, in the direction of the store Will said he was going to, thoughts going by as fast as his feet are taking him.

Because Will lied to him. And the thought crosses his mind—maybe Will is the Shadow. The heroics make sense. But he can’t be, because Will doesn’t have powers, hasn’t shown any sort of ability in the ten-plus years the Upside Down has been open to him.

So it can’t be him. But. Will knows something.

A yell catches Mike’s attention and he skids to a stop, backtracking slightly to glance down an alley. And—

There’s a man in there, a young girl scrambling back, as the shadowy figure puts distance between them.

It takes Mike’s breath away for a moment—the interviews really didn’t do his appearance justice. The shadows are inky, darker than the night sky, spiraling around to safely shield the girl and trap the man. His feet don’t seem to touch the floor, and his eyes are pinpricks of light in the dark. It’s—something. It’s really something.

The girl finally makes it to Mike, but she doesn’t stop. She stumbles to her feet and runs, and that’s when the man turns—probably to catch his target before she can leave.

Instead, he sees Mike.

Mike hears the gun before he sees it—a bang and then a flash of dark metal. He’s ninety-nine percent sure it’s a killing shot and there’s not even enough time to brace himself and then—

It stops. The bullet stops, midair. And then it drops to the ground.

“Put the gun down,” Shadow says, and his voice is really terribly familiar, laced with an echoey tone that makes him sound a million miles away, “or I will make you.”

The man doesn’t do it, frozen in place, glaring.

“Put it down,” he repeats, and the man’s hands shake a little but don’t let go.

“Fuck outta here,” the man swears, entire body taut like a stretched rubber band. Shadow glares at him and he twitches violently. “Get out of my head!”

“Your mind is strong, I’ll give you that,” Shadow says. He tips his chin down and the gun throws itself out of the man’s hand, clatters to the ground. “Sleep.”

And that’s really all it takes. The man drops like a brick.

Shadow kneels down and touches his forehead, black fingerprint staying marked on skin for a moment before fading. Then he turns to Mike, face shrouded in black mist. “Don’t worry,” he says. “He’s not dead. Just forgetting.”

And that echo is gone, so Mike can hear his voice—his real voice.

“Will?” he says, hating how his voice trembles.

The shadows drop, abruptly dissipating into the night. Will’s feet come back down that half inch until he’s standing flat on the ground. He looks just like he always does as he takes a hesitant step forward. “Mike.”

Mike hears himself make a strangled noise. “How? When?”

“I don’t know,” Will says softly. “I think… this is something I’ve had for a really long time. But I couldn’t… I didn’t know I could do anything like this until recently. Not even El knows. I didn’t tell her.”

“You didn’t tell her,” Mike repeats. “She called me. Said—”

“I know,” Will interrupts. “I. I can hear the radios and telephones. I heard. I knew you were coming.” He smiles crookedly, apologetically. “I was hoping to get home before you could find me out here and yell at me, but. I got busy.” He sighs. “I didn’t mean for you to see this. I didn’t want you to know.”

“You lied,” Mike snaps. “You lied to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Will says helplessly. “Mike, really. I’m sorry. I just… I had to.” He closes his eyes for a minute, shakes his head. “I had to.”

“Why?” This is unfathomable to Mike. Will is and has always been an open book to him, and it hurts that Will would keep something like this from him.

Will doesn’t answer the question. “I can make you forget, if that’s what you want. I can erase the last hour from your memory. We could just… go back to before.”

“Is that what you want?” Mike asks, too stunned by the suggestion to process the revelation that Will can apparently do that. “You want to shut me out again? Why?”

“Maybe we should finish this conversation at home,” Will answers instead.

“But—” he starts, and then. If there’s one thing Mike knows, it’s not to push Will in a direction he doesn’t want to go. So he stops. “Okay.”

Will steps forward. “Don’t freak out, okay?”

“Wh—”

Will’s hand closes around Mike’s wrist and then they’re home, world dissolving and solidifying around them. He stumbles and Will catches him, pulling him close.

And, wow, they’re very close to each other.

“Whoa,” Mike breathes.

“I’ll be honest,” Will says, voice low, “I’ve never tried that with another person before.”

Mike’s brain isn’t working, so of course his mind jumps to their ongoing, unpleasant conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Will’s grip loosens, eyes darting to the floor, and Mike finds his own balance. “I was scared,” Will says simply. “This… thing I do, the helping people… it can be dangerous. When I saw you were writing the articles, I guess I freaked out even more. I want you to be safe.” He takes a deep breath, and when he lets it out it appears as dark smoke. He frowns, annoyed, and waves it away. “And in the beginning, I didn’t know what was going on, what was wrong with me. I know how you feel about Kali, how… dark her powers can get, and I… I didn’t want you to think that about me; think less of me.” He finally looks back up at Mike, eyes meeting. “I didn’t want you to look at me any differently.”

“I would never,” Mike says earnestly. Because this revelation doesn’t change anything. He’s still Mike and Will is still Will, and they’ve been best friends and they still live together and work well and Mike still loves him.

“You’re already doing it,” Will counters quietly. “You didn’t see your face back in the alley. You don’t see your face right now. You’re looking at me like… like…” He trails off, frustrated. “I don’t know. Like how we all looked at El when she killed Brenner. Like she’d done something good, but also something horribly irreversible.” He sighs harshly, rubbing a hand over his face. “It was stupid of me to suggest wiping your memory. I just… don’t know if I could handle you looking at me, knowing what I can do.”

“Hey.” Mike acts without thinking, stepping forward and taking Will’s face into his hands. “You’re still Will, alright? If I’m looking at you differently it’s because circumstances are different, not you. You’re still you. I could never think less of you. And I forgive you, because I understand.” He takes a breath. “And I love you.”

And. Oh. He hadn’t realized it until he said it. That’s a thing. He’d almost forgotten because… it just hadn’t been an issue. He’s pushed it back for so long. But right now… Will is really close. Really close. In-Mike’s-hands close.

Will’s expression is guarded and cold, like he’s trying to distance himself, but there’s pink present high on his cheeks. “Oh.”

Which isn’t an answer Mike had really expected. “Will,” he says.

“Mike,” he responds.

Mike swallows. Hard. Christ, he’s going to do it. “Tell me if… if I overstep, alright?”

Will nods, and Mike just. Goes for it. He kisses Will, firmly, and yeah, Mike’s in love with him. Shadow powers and nightmares and quietness and all. And Will’s not pulling away, either.

“Are you disappointed?”

Mike frowns. They’re tangled up together on the couch, the TV on with the volume low. “What?”

Will shrugs, shoulder digging into Mike’s side. “The… Shadow. You called him a hero, in your article, and I’m just—I’m not that. Are you disappointed that it’s me?”

“Why would I be?” Mike asks, perplexed. “Will. He’s a hero, and my career kind of rests on him for the moment, but you. You’re incredible. You’ve been a hero for forever. I’m glad it’s you.”

Will shifts a little, leaning up, and Mike can see his grin in the dark. “I love you,” Will says, and Mike feels like his heart is going to combust.

“I love you, too.” Maybe it’s too early to be at the ‘I-love-you’ stage, after not even two hours of feelings being out in the open. Maybe they shouldn’t be as stupidly love-struck as Mike definitely is.

But maybe, Mike thinks as he leans down to kiss Will again, maybe this has been years in the making.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Leave me a comment if you’d like. My other stories are here.

[meyerlansky]

do you ever want to scream until your throat bleeds

[stennnn06]

As I was watching the dodger game last night I head this hc that Supergirl gets invited to throw the first pitch and she invites Lena and Lena does like a shit ton of research on baseball and shares facts about the sport the whole game to Kara. ⚾💙 if there is already a fic like that I need to find it.

yes a GOOD POST i love this very much

i plan to include baseball in one of my fics but it will most likely be a reigncorp grad school one based on the headcanon i wrote but thats just bc i’m thirsty for sam arias in a baseball jersey whatever its fine

[thatsjustsupergirl]

Fixing the Danvers family timeline...

I had made a list of important year milestones in S1 on my other tumblr, and it’s still mostly correct, but during S2 & S3 the show finally settled on what the age gap between the girls is supposed to be, and that requires a little bit of tweaking on some Kara stuff, soooooo. Time for an update.

Superfam! Important Dates:

Early February 1989: Alex is born

Due to math explained here and here, Alex’s birthday is somewhere between Feb 6. & Feb. 12

Late January 2004: Kara’s Earth birthday with the Danvers fam

 Kara is 13 when she lands, so her “birth year” would be 1991

Kara begins junior high in her second semester of 7th grade

Alex is in 9th grade and is 14 (but almost 15)

Late 2004/early 2005: Jeremiah agrees to work for the DEO*

Sometime in 2006: Jeremiah is killed; J’onn becomes Hank Henshaw*

Fall 2006: THIS IS WHEN 3x06 TOOK PLACE**

Alex is a senior (12th grade) and is 17

Kara is a sophomore (10th grade) and is 15

Spring 2007: Alex graduates from high school

Fall 2007: Alex starts undergrad

Spring 2009: Kara graduates from high school

Fall 2009: Kara starts undergrad

Spring 2011: Alex finishes undergrad, starts grad school^

Spring 2013: Kara graduates from undergrad

Sometime in 2013: Alex gets recruited to the DEO

Summer/Fall 2014: Kara starts working at CatCo [clarified here]; Alex starts working as a DEO field agent

Fall 2015: Kara becomes Supergirl (about 12 years after she arrived on Earth, so she’s not quite 25^^ when the series begins; Alex is 26; Clark Kent is 36-ish)

NOTES:

*Jeremiah & DEO/death -- established in 1x06 and 1x17. Alex says her father was only working for the DEO for about a year when he died (1x06), and Jeremiah was killed “ten years ago” from 1x17, which aired in 2016.

**Timing of “Midvale” (3x06) -- Someone goofed this math slightly. 2017-10 = 2007, which is correct for Alex’s senior year of high school ... it’s just the year for the *end* of it, not the start.

A schooling note: the girls live in a town that does grades 7-9 as “middle” school and grades 10-12 as high school. Since that is the case, Alex and Kara only went to the same school twice in all the years they lived at home together, which easily explains things like “this is the first time we’ve walked home together,” their competitiveness and grating on each other’s nerves in high school, and so on.

^Alex’s level of education: 2011 is when Alex should have finished undergrad if she did a normal schedule. However, odds are pretty high she didn’t.

Normal speed to complete Alex’s advanced degrees is 11 years. (BS = 4, MD/PhD = 7) That does not work with the show’s timeline, obviously, as Alex entered college at 18 and is 26 at the start of S1 and done with school.

This is why 1x17 contained a flashback of grad student Alex on the verge of a total breakdown: she was overloading herself to graduate ahead of schedule.

Canon has confirmed that Alex didn’t skip any grades in middle or high school. That said, they also confirmed that she took multiple AP courses, meaning she could have easily earned a year or two’s worth of academic credit for undergrad.

 From here, you can take multiple approaches to set up how she finished the advanced degrees and where she tried to cheat time along the way.

In 1x05 Alex mentions that she was doing her doctoral studies at Stanford, probably in something like this bioengineering MD/PhD program.

(I know some people use the deleted scene from 1x17 to say she was in National City, but I do not, because that scene was deleted for good reasons i.e. Greg Berlanti freely admitted the only reason they shot it that way was because they were out of money to built new sets.)

^^Issues with Kara’s age: Since Kara was 13 when she arrived, and S1 takes place 12 years later, she should be 25, right? Almost! Kara turns 25 over the course of S1. In 1x09 she tells Cat she’s 24 -- which we now know for sure is correct, as that episode aired prior to Earth Birthday #12.

Kara is celebrating Earth Birthday #14 in S3 (in Jan. 2018), so I don’t know why they had her say she’s tried being Kara Danvers for 15 years in 3x01. That was a screw-up.

Other notes re: years & passage of time -- ignore anything Jeremiah ever said during S2. All of it’s wrong, and it’s wrong on purpose, because we see Eliza side-eyeing it.

The “35 years ago” timestamp on baby!Reign being shipped off in 2x22 does not match a single other thing re: the destruction of Krypton (like... Clark was already 36 in S1), and was probably just picked because it’s a round number. IGNORE IT. Unless we find out otherwise later in the season, Sam is probably the same age as Clark. (So, 38-ish.)

The “six-month” time jump after S2 is basically just the regular amount of time that passed between the airdates for 2x22 and 3x01, plus a couple extra weeks. Episode 3x04, which aired on 30 October 2017, had Kara holding a pamphlet dated October 27th:

[narraboths]

So, Benwa sucks at interviews like 95% of the time, but I can kind of get what she's saying. S1 had Kara being unsure abt her role in the world & becoming a superhero through trials/errors (Like a college grad figuring out real world beyond school & their place). S2 was supposed to be abt her developing who "Kara" is as a reporter & persona outside of SG. Both stories of growth/ development. No clue what S3 is supposed to be abt or how her quote applies other than hopeful thinking.

yeah i have zero problem with saying that the show is (or should be) depicting an arc of maturing for Kara lmao? she’s talking about as if this was Kara’s arc from growing from 16 to 19 and not 26 to 29 lmao like in what world does “a girl growing into womanhood” apply to the latter.

[theseadagiodays]

April 20, 2020

No more muzzling my words

OK, so I’m just going to say it.  There are times when this really stinks.  And it actually feels good to give myself permission to admit that.  

One of my favorite novelists, Anne Patchett, author of Bel Canto, also wrote a memoir called Truth & Beauty about her lifelong best friendship with someone who struggled with cancer since childhood.  What I remember most is her friend’s very unusual way of enduring horrific hardships that included having her jaw surgically removed, (no less in the middle of self-conscious adolescence).  To feel better about her own situation, she would regularly re-read The Diary of Anne Frank in a sort of schadenfreude effort to remember that there were people who’d had it far worse than herself.    However, these contrived gestures only took her so far.

I guess the truth is, there is only so much glass-half-full thinking any of us can exercise.  Realizing this, I was relieved to hear Brene Brown’s recent podcast about Comparitive Suffering,

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-comparative-suffering-the-50-50-myth-and-settling-the-ball/  

Here, she recognizes that while the daily news barrages us with crises much greater than our own (lost jobs, health, and even loved ones), many of us feel guilty for bemoaning our own losses at this time, because we think we should be grateful for what we have.  Certainly, this universal suffering has allowed us to gain some clearer perspective on our lives and our blessings.  And the fact that the entire world is experiencing some similar aspects of this reality has enabled us to build real global empathy.  However, it is also true that each micro-loss deserves its own relative mouring period.  So, I am going to give myself a little license to acknowledge what I am grieving at this time.  But I wanted to find a creative way to do this.  So, I am going to write a love letter to the time before COVID, identifying the things I truly miss. This idea came out of an exercise we led with my non-profit’s Women Rock group.  They are co-writing songs to express the myriad of feelings they are having during this period. In one song, they plan to write about the solace that nature brings them right now.  But they also want a vehicle to communicate their challenges.  In other words, they want somewhere to “deposit the negative,” because this can actually be very healing: to name what’s wrong, genuinely feel the impact of it in your life, and then let it go.  The etymological root of the word de-posit means to put (poner), away (-de).   Ironically, this is similar to the origin of the word positive, which is to formally lay down (or to state absolutely).   So, perhaps by absoluting stating what we feel bad about, we leave room to feel good about what’s left.

But in case this is just a little too sad for some people to read, try imagining the theme song to Jimmy Fallon’s regular Thank You Notes segment, for a bit of comic relief while you read.  Here he is in his At-Home Edition, writing some with his daughters:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6x2UgPVYJs

Vancouver Mural Festival on Main St 

Dear pre-COVID days,

I remember how good it felt to walk down Main St and hug everyone from my neighbor, to my colleague, to the barista.  You were so open in the way you invited human touch on a daily basis.

I was so grateful that you allowed me the opportunity to interact with people from all different walks of life.  You let me work in so many different environments, from elementary schools, to prisons, to seniors centres, where I was privileged to hear people’s stories as they found their own creative voices.  

I loved being free to spend time with my family even though they live far away. You made it possible to see my parents in Arizona, and my brother in NY, and my uncle in Colorado, and my in-laws in Ontario, every year, despite the distance.

I enjoyed all of the opportunities you gave me to experience live art.  You animated my world and made it technicolor, with concerts, dance clubs, galleries, theatre performances, and different arts festivals every week.

I loved how healthy I felt running around the tennis courts at Queen Elizabeth Park.  You made it so easy to exercise my lungs, my legs, my arms, my focus, my flexibility and my stamina all at the same time.  

I felt so much passion for the adventures that you brought me to.  You generously satisfied my infinite curiosities with music projects in Zambia, and holidays in Hawaii, and cultural immersions in Guatemala.  

I miss all of the the ways you let me love and live and work and play freely.  And I long for the day you return,

Laura

April 21, 2020

Neighborhood Art

There are so many signs that we are all missing connection and stimulation during quarantine. But the human spirit is extremely buoyant.  So, we’ve found remarkable ways to share artistic moments through the walls of COVID.  

In Rome, locals are projecting classic films against their apartment building facades: https://www.wantedinrome.com/news/lockdown-rome-lights-up-with-cinema-by-night.html

In Berlin, neighbors are displaying art installations from their balconies:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/berlin-artists-turn-their-balconies-mini-galleries-180974677/

An art installation by Raul Walch, created for the “Life, art, pandemic and proximity” project

In Ohio, kids play cello duets for an elderly neighbor:

And right here in Vancouver, people lead streetside Zumba classes as seniors home residents dance along:

https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1716406851557

April 22, 2020

Earth Day in Isolation

I am hardly the first to note that while this virus has taken so much from mankind, it has also given Mother Earth the long-awaited rest she so deserves.  There have been plenty of photos of Himalayan mountain tops viewed from Indian cities for the first time in decades, or Orcas returning to Vancouver’s shores to prove this.    

In another gift to our planet, appropriately on Earth Day here in BC, where it has oddly not rained for 30 days, it appears that Gaia is being showered with much needed rain for her day of celebration.  And even a sun-worshipper like me has been doing rain dances lately, to ensure that our city will not be shrouded in smoke from a fire-ravaged province, as we have been for the past two summers.

On a different note, a more distorted personification of nature has been touted by many a cynical observer in recent weeks, citing Covid as retribution against humans from a vengeful Mother Earth. I do not subscribe to such punitive thinking.  But I do believe there are environmental lessons to be learned from this crisis if we listen closely enough.

Writer Kristin Flyntz makes this point more beautifully than I ever could, in her Greatful Web post: https://www.gratefulweb.com/articles/imagined-letter-covid-19-humans  Here, instead of a love letter to pre-Covid days, she has imagined the letter that Covid might write to humans.  The tone is intentional and generous but also insistent.   It is spoken as if from a friend not an enemy.  And it proposes that we ask the hard questions:  “As the health of a tree, a river, the sky tells you about the quality of your own health, what might the quality of your health tell you about the health of the rivers, the trees, the sky, and all of us who share this planet with you?”

Another letter, falsely attributed to Bill Gates, whose proven himself to be a true leader of responsiveness in this critical time, also had similar things to say.  The anonymous writer claims that this time: “is reminding us that this Earth is sick. It is reminding us that we need to look at the rate of deforestation just as urgently as we look at the speed at which toilet rolls are disappearing off of shelves. We are sick because our home is sick.”

And as usual, artists are responding too.  The NY-based NGO, Earth Celebrations has postponed their Virtual Earth Day Pageant for May 9th in the interest of garnering more public participation, with a callout for anyone who wants to craft a costume, mask, puppet, etc.  All are welcome.  And more details can be found here: https://earthcelebrations.com/?fbclid=IwAR30nj7NtS52E-RLjpvz739L-3fcp-DtnJ1YeVE8Roln4vJXPC7bzBLxew0

April 23

Virtual Festivals

If you’re looking for an alternative to Netflix and chillin’, there are endless arts festivals that have moved content online, for your streaming pleasure.   So, I thought I’d recommend a few interesting ones here.  

If it’s efficiency you’re after, when browsing thru infinite entertainment options, the Social Distancing Festival does all the work for you, by scouring the globe to curate the best livestreamed events they can find.  Links include everything from modern dance to virtual gallery tours to musical theatre:

https://www.socialdistancingfestival.com

Myseum of Toronto’s Art in the Time of Covid - work by Evgeni Tcherkassk

For some lighter fare, this Edmonton Series hosts nightly cabaret, music, and comedy acts performed by local artists from their homes.

https://www.citadeltheatre.com/2019-2020/stuckinthehouse?utm_source=Citadel+Theatre&utm_campaign=67600c620f-Stuck-in-the-House&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_482a5c3fca-67600c620f-80741247

And if you’re looking for a bit more sophistication, Toronto’s Festival of Literary Diversity has managed to move online, and it starts next Thursday. Their line-up features many of Canada’s finest emerging and established voices.  My personal favorite, Mona Awad will be reading from her new novel, Bunny, which was the funniest read I’ve had in ages.  In this high art version of Mean Girls, she nails the pretentious banter of grad school writing cliques with a dash of magical realism.   https://thefoldcanada.org

April 23

Creative Gratitude

Florida police thank-you

Our shared appreciation for front line workers has become a true muse for collective community creativity.

Clockwise: Navajo muralist Ivan Lee; local Vancouver sidewalk; Long Island artist, Kara Hoblin

But this one takes the cake for audacity!

https://gfycat.com/magnificentabsolutegosling-health-workers-coronavirus-thank-you-meme

[queercapwriting]

Congrats on the book deal!! It's going to be amazing :) and this doesn't fit the theme very well, but could you maybe do something with maggie or alex having a lot of panic/anxiety attacks and sanvers having some sort of plan for when they happen? I past week has been less than ideal for me and I just need some hurt/comfort fluff

She’s fine in the field. Sometimes, she’s a little too fine in the field.

It’s the littler things that get to her.

Like having a bad conversation with her mother. Like having a good conversation with her mother.

Like wanting to eat at a different restaurant than Maggie does, and feeling like she’s a terrible girlfriend for it.

Like forgetting to set her alarm and Maggie wakes up late because of it, and she blames herself.

Like when she’s spending time with Maggie and feels guilty for not spending enough time with Kara; like when she’s spending time with Kara and feels guilty for not spending enough time with Maggie.

She panics and she tries not to and that just makes everything so much worse.

She synthesized Kryptonian-style anti-anxiety medicine for when Kara gets over stimulated when she was in grad school. She never thought to use any human versions for herself.

Because she’s always fine, and when she’s not fine?

She should just be stronger.

But Maggie tells her she doesn’t have to shove her feelings down anymore, and Kara holds pillows in her lap and strokes her hair and listens to her talk, listens to her cry. And she always has – Kara’s always been there – but it’s different now. Now that Alex has found so much more about herself to talk about, to share, to explore.

So now, she’s working on acknowledging her panic as real.

Because apparently, it’s real. Apparently, she’s real. And apparently, she deserves a full, happy life.

So she and Kara draw up a plan. And they draw Maggie into it.

A plan, a system, for when Alex starts to spiral. 

When they were kids, after Jeremiah died, Kara would sometimes sing to her in Kryptonian. So that singing is part of the plan.

When she hyperventilated on first sleeping with Maggie, because god, how has she never felt this way before, how could anything possibly be this intense, Maggie put her hand on her chest and told her to breathe out into it, whispered pet names and nicknames and praise and soothing, soothing nonsense until Alex could control her breath, until Alex could calm her own spiral. So that breathing into Maggie’s hand is part of the plan.

But sometimes, she’s alone.

Sometimes, she’s alone, and that’s the trickier part to plan for.

She writes herself a letter, and she doesn’t think it’ll work, but it does; better than she’d expected. 

She keeps a special folder of pictures on her phone: of herself on her surfboard as a teenager, Kara in the midst of leaping onto her back; of the first time she and Eliza took Kara to Disney Land, the sheer delight on her face; of Kara in Supergirl gear, posing Charlie’s Angels style with her and Maggie; of Alex and J’onn, at the bar, her leaning into his chest, his arm around her, his smile so, so, so proud; of Kara and Alex leaning into each other with laughter on Game Night, Winn and James doubled over in the background; of Maggie, sleepy and warm and open on a Sunday morning, wrapped in Alex’s sheets and beckoning her back to bed; of Maggie, kissing her like she’s never been kissed, loving her like she’s never been loved. 

The pictures help. They help a lot. 

Sometimes she’ll look up to find that minutes, hours, have gone by, just her staring at them, just her centering herself through her family. And it helps. So much.

But mostly, her plan is self-talk. Her plan is quieting her spiral voices – but gently, gently, because Kara keeps saying something about punishing herself making the panic worse – and listening more to the kinder voices.

The ones that remind her that she loves hard, so she hurts hard; the ones that remind her that she’s worth it and that she’s loved and that she single-handedly infiltrated Cadmus, dammit, she can get through this.

The ones that remind her that she is stronger than her strongest fears.

She doesn’t like it much: all this planning, all this attention, for herself, for her own well-being. It’s not something she’s… used to.

But she thinks she is. Getting used to it.

“It’s called self-care, get used to it, Danvers,” Maggie will tease her, and she’ll kiss her, and she’ll laugh, and her laughter is the best thing Alex has ever heard.