#kankri dont kill me

[skittle-is-little]

[foryouthegays]

assigned autistic silly lore enjoyer mentally ill by homestuck

[davekat-sucks]

"OH my god, Anon! [Feferi]'s PETA!"

spot on on, because if meenah is more like caliborn, feferi is more like calliope. and thats how you get beforus, a nanny state planet that pretends to be an utopia. tumblr. speaking of which.

I'm cool with whatever people do in their spare time, you know, you do you. But what ticks me off is when they start acting all authoritarian with their headcanons, insisting they are canon and claiming others are clueless, ignorant, illiterate, tone-deaf, every internalized or externalized -ist and -phobic under the sun etc for not seeing it that way. Treating fictional characters with more decency than they do with real people essentially. So because I dont give a single iota of a fuck anymore, let me call out this retarded fandom that butterfly effected all western fandoms turning into warzones and hussies lazy hack ass really quick.

Here's the deal: Some people really just wanna show off how "woke" they are to others, so they slap labels like they're trendy accessories and project onto characters without giving a damn about their background or personality. That usually backfires and ends up with pretty darn terrible results. We all know this, we've heard the HS2 horror stories. And that's exactly what went down here again.

Because, lately, there's this, as I said let's call it headcanon, floating around insisting that the Vantases, Kankri in particular, are canonically aromantic asexual (aroace). The Vantases are the worst possible candidates in the whole webcomic for this. Why?

1: celibacy ≠ aroace. first one is not an orientation, but a choice to abstain from acting on attraction. and the other IS a orientation, not a choice, where you feel little to no romantic or sexual attraction. so much for respecting some people's identities and values. If the vantases HAVE to be assigned a human label despite being fucking aliens, why not demisexual???? kankri even asks karkat if he might be "panquadrantic demiromantic", doesnt that fit how the signless took time to open his heart to the disciple and had a love that went beyond all quadrants with her?

they are both HORNY and THIRSTY as hell for the pyropes, the captors, the leijons, john egbert, i dont fucking know, take your pick. make them fuck a clown. That's why Karkat is obsessed with romance and Kankri panders so hard, they are both that pathetically desperate for someone to connect and care for them back as obsessively intense as they are with everything.

3: Some previous anon pointed out how HIC, besides being an authoritarian tyrant that wanted galaxy-wide conquest, is an eugenicist fascist. Yes. She genocided limebloods. So did Beforan Feferi actually. And you know Karkat's handle? carcinogeneticist? How he inherited the Signless's burden? These things are all related, and let me use a comparison to explain how or why. Imposing this label onto them would be as perplexing as suggesting that Aang from THE LAST AIRBENDER, being a monk, should also be aroace. Right after all the airbenders were wiped out by firebenders, also authoritarian tyrants that wanted world conquest. Do you see the parallels? Karkat and Kankri have significant self-esteem issues, stemming from their mutant blood, from which bloodcaste they mutated from? Limebloods. The caste that has faced intense persecution, to the extent of genocide, on BOTH planets, resulting in their GENETIC LINEAGE being wiped out from the troll GENE POOL. Limebloods are EXTINCT. That's why their mutancy is their burden, it saved them from being killed, but condemned both to a lifetime of suffering and hiding under the same culling regime that killed their kin. And that's why the burden is the responsibility of revitalizing their bloodcaste BY PROCREATING. ADDING THEIR GENES TO THE TROLL GENE POOL. But because both Karkat and Kankri are fucking idiots with crippling self-esteem issues and Hussie wrote with his asscheeks, what did these two chucklefucks do instead? One praised the Empress that wanted to kill him and wanted to become her thresecutioner, and out of desperation did the devil's tango with the worst and most disgusting vile living being available, a hussie self-insert. And the other became fucking CELIBATE to focus on what was truly important to oppose the regime he disagreed with… performative bullshit that nobody asked him to care about, overcorrecting to the point of being even more offensive than the start, and not actually solving any problems but creating more. To make "progress as a civilization" with trigger warnings, HE DIDN'T PRESERVE THE FUTURE OF HIS OWN BLOODCASTE. NEITHER DID KARKAT WHO WAS TOO BUSY WATCHING MOVIES. And that was actually clever writing, because if you are a fandom activist who hates kankri, and also think hes unironically aroace because he's celibate, congratulations! You fell for the trap, youre exactly the kind of person Kankri is satirizing, he also missed the point by hyperfocusing on labels and hating himself, and like a self fulfilling prophecy, became the same thing that he was fighting against without realizing because he unwittingly ended up aiding troll eugenics by doing the hard work and taking himself out of the dating pool!

So next time you see a pretentious writer vagueposting about you or your interpretation of a character or guilt tripping you because you dont adhere to their offensive stereotypes, check if they headcanon Kankri as aroace, and if they do, you can simply smile and rest assured knowing that nothing you do will ever be as disconnected from reality or as far off the mark regarding character interpretation as that. Why would you listen to these evil people? Are you like Hussie?

That is truly why Davekat really fucking sucks and always fucking will,

Because not only did it ruin everything with their nonexistant chemistry-less relationship but because thanks to it and pandering to its stans, Sea Hitler won and both muties are out of the gene pool and limebloods remain extinct. That IS actually canon.

And while Johnkat and Jadekat are excellent, Karkat and Kankri's harem of trolls is better than davekat. Suck my dick.

PD: What's that? Baby HIC married Karkat? Doesn't surprise me. Grooming kids is her whole thing. There really was no excuse for not making Karkat fuck Sollux or Terezi instead.

Karkat and Kankri's Harem are better than Davekat. Meenah, Porrim, and Aranea sprites from @befriendus Damara sprite by @magua-vida

Condesce, Disciple, Redglare Neophyte, and the Dolorosa by elanor-pam

[somepancakeonline5377]

CW!! Mentions of abuse and racism

////

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I dont care about anything else right now but HER. GOD THIS WOMAN THIS POOR WOMAN.

SHE DID EVERYTHING FOR HER BABY, SHE SACRIFICE EVERYTHING ONLY TO HER HER SON BE FUCKING EXICUDITED AND ON TOP OF THAT WAS SOLD INTO FUCKING SLAVERY WERE THEN SHE WAS ASSINASSNATED OUT OF RASICM AFTER SUFFERING HORRIBLE ABUSE

NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS WOMAN AND HER SUFFERING HER SACRIFICE HER TRAGIC LIFE AND HOW HORRIBLY IT ENDED

SHE IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE AND SHE REMINDS ME OF THE SACRIFACE THAT ALL MOTHERS MAKE. I NEED HER TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY WITH HER CHILD NOW.

SHE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT FIGHT FOR HER OWN AND OTHERS RIGHT AND WAS ABUSED AND THEN ULTIMATELY KILLED OUT OF AN ASSHOLES RASICM.

THE DOLOROSA, PORRIM MARYAM, VIRGO SIGN OF THE VIRGIN, MAID OF SPACE, ADOPTIVE MOTHER OF THE SIGNESS/THE SUFFERER, AKA KANKRI VANTAS

SWEET JESUS THIS WOMAN MAKES ME ILL

[serfuzzypushover]

Do you have any voice headcanons for the sillys (any homestuck characters)?

- @iassignpeoplehomestucktrolls

answwered somethin like this b4 but i CANNOT for the life of me find it...

oh wwell heres wwhat i got:

june is me. she sounds like me i am her.

davve is wway more expressivve with his vvoice than he wwant to admit lol. i imagine hes trying to pull off bein monotone but its not really wworkin. his body language is pr minimum tho

rose is soft and calm. she can get giggly pr easily tho hehe

jade has a wwarm vvoice for sure... maybe gets a bit loud Σ:B

roxy is so silly i bet she also cant control the tone of her vvoice... its also slighty masc and shes giggly as wwell ❤️

dirk is the opposite of davve. monotone vvoice bc of flat affect but hes alwways expressin his emotions through body language.

jake the obvviously fake british accent obvv

jane sounds androgynous but slightly sweet

aradia i imagine like... fluttershy but somewwhat ethereal in a wway? damara sounds AWWFULLY swweet. she also has a calming vvoice i imagine she can sing pr wwell

tavv i havve no specific hc other than he sounds like rufioh but sadder and rufioh is just dante basco

sollux sounds like a NERD/aff mituna is this

karkat wwill forevver just sound like broardway karkat to me. its the perfect vvoice. kankri is the vvoice used in lets read homestuck

porrim is sooo warm and soft spoken... kanaya is a bit monotone. i hc she has a flat affect from autism

terezi and latula sound pr raspy and perhaps a bit high pitched(terezi more so)

vvriska sounds like a popular girl bully (imagine heathers lol) wwhile aranea is twwilight sparkle

equius and horuss are pr.... hoarse............... they are also british but horuss' accent is more pronounced

gamzee is silly and goofy and has trouble controllin the volume of his vvoice... the pitch also fluctuates. KURLOZ SOUNDS SO SMOOTH AND LOWW PITCHED ID FORGET MY CELI8ACY IF HE TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF—ahem anywway

eridan is EXACTLY howw sassy gay eridan sounds... cronus... danny zuko....

feferi is swweet but maybe a taaaaaaaad too high pitched. shes also loud in general. meenah i dont think about enough to havve a hc

[fictionkinfessions]

happy father's day and happy pride m9nth t9 my stupid fucking idi9t s9ns /affecti9nate

karkat, wh9ever y9ure pining after, either they like you 6ack 9r they d9nt deserve y9u. just g9 flirt with them already, y9ure killing me here.

kankri... please read queer the9ry. watching y9u fuck a69ut with g99d intentions and 6ad 9utc9mes is ag9nizing, jegus fucking chrisp

i l9ve y9u 69th

- signless.

happy father's day and happy pride month to my stupid fucking idiot sons /affectionate

karkat, whoever youre pining after, either they like you back or they dont deserve you. just go flirt with them already, youre killing me here.

kankri… please read queer theory. watching you fuck about with good intentions and bad outcomes is agonizing, jegus fucking chrisp

i love you both

signless.

[pesterloglog]

Meenah Peixes, Mituna Captor, Kankri Vantas

Act 6, page 5308

MEENAH: hey tuna you want to help me go kill haha i cant even finish this question while staying serious

MITUNA: N0 8U7H WH47 1 D0 W4NK

MITUNA: 17H 70 M4N741N7 PR3C4R10U5 8U7 M057HL3Y 5U5741N3D 84L4NC3 0N MY 71GH7 4ZZ F4LLD0WN 5L47

MITUNA: M4YF3 GR1N D0N 50M3 5H17

#5P0RN75

MEENAH: what will you grind on

MITUNA: 1 V0LUN733R

MITUNA: 7H47 7H1NG 70 83

MITUNA: U0YU0U

MEENAH: gross bro

MEENAH: dunno how latula even deals

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

MITUNA: 8U73 4L50

MITUNA: FUCH Y0UR 4ND Y0UR FUCKY CHUMPHY 5UCKYFUCK FR0NGHUMPH1NG 8R1ND3 573M R1G7H UP3 Y0UR 5H17F7Y PH3L5M504K3D PR083CHU7H3 71L7 1Z 5UCK 4ZZ 8171CH 15 5UCKKY 5UCHY FUCK37Y 5UCKH0L3 FUCKY FCUK3Y FUCK FUCK FUCK

#!

MEENAH: holy mackerel

MEENAH: them was sick fires mostly

#at least the parts that were actual words

MEENAH: hey isnt the afterlife supposed to heal people or

MEENAH: i dont undersand

MEENAH: why is it that pyrope still cant smell

MEENAH: and you still got horrible brain problems

#dont tell me leijons still deaf

MEENAH: i give up on figuring out the existential mysteries

MITUNA: W4D3R

MEENAH: )(-EY FUCK YOU!!!

KANKRI: I feel I sh9uld jump in here at this m9ment, 6ef9re this escalates any further, and we start thr9wing ar9und hateful rhet9ric that we can't take 6ack.

MEENAH:

#aw shell no

KANKRI: Mituna, I kn9w y9u 9ften struggle with this, 6ut y9u just used an extremely der9gat9ry and hurtful caste-specific slur, which as y9u pr96a6ly kn9w was 9nce c9mm9nly used t9 disparage sea-dwelling mem6ers 9f 9ur s9ciety, 9r land-dwelling castes wh9 were especially c9mplicit in furthering the 9ppressive Fuscia-D9wn p9wer structure. N9w, we all need t9 realize that R9yal-Vs and th9se rare few wh9 are even higher such as Meenah, as mem6ers 9f the arist9cracy enj9y a tremend9us p9siti9n 9f privilege 9ver 9thers, and theref9re we cann9t view such ver6al transgressi9ns against them as equivalent t9 th9se targeting the underprivileged, 6ut it needs t9 6e p9inted 9ut that such radi9active language is a6s9lutely the w9rst kind 9f well-p9is9ning which is n9thing 6ut c9unterpr9ductive when 9thers are trying t9 pursue an h9nest dial9gue a69ut critically imp9rtant s9cial pr96lems.

#slurs #hurtful #struggle #radi9active #well p9is9ning #c9unterpr9ductive #pr96lems

MITUNA: .................,....

KANKRI: And Meenah, while I can understand y9ur frustrati9n 9ver 6eing ver6ally assaulted under any circumstance, it is incum6ent 9n me t9 remind y9u that Mituna requires a certain am9unt 9f special c9nsiderati9n and m9re than a little patience. Please try t9 resist taking his 6ait, which I'm guessing is m9stly well intended(?), 6ef9re its c9ntenti9us undert9w pulls y9u further int9 an exchange laden with deeply pr96lematic expressi9ns 9f a6leism, a6leist slurs, and 9ther such manifestati9ns 9f unc9nsci9na6ly unchecked a6ility privilege.

#a6leism #a6ility privilege #6ait #undert9w #are the aquatic terms helping?

MEENAH: vantas what the actual fuck are you doing here

MEENAH: how are you even in this chat yo

MEENAH: you arent even remotely in the same corporeal vicinity as us like i literally do not understand how you just jumped into the conversation like that

MEENAH: can you maybe get lost?

#make like a clam and scray

KANKRI: 9n the 9ther hand, if I'm 6eing h9nest, I've f9und Mituna's entire existence t9 6e a pretty pr96lematic impediment t9 the advancement and 9verall awareness 9f a6leism and its painful manif9ld c9nsequences f9r una6ilitied pers9ns. The speech impediment, frankly, I c9uld d9 with9ut, and I'm 6y n9 means ecstatic 9ver his t9rrential 6ig9try and h9stility. 9n the 9ne hand, I want t9 6e sensitive t9 him as a pers9n and as a friend, 6ut 9n the 9ther, what kind 9f message d9es his 6ehavi9r send? And frankly, I'm n9t crazy a69ut the helmet, either.

MITUNA: W4LT5 WR00NG W17H MY H4ML37 8(

KANKRI: N9thing, friend, it's a really c99l helmet and it's a g99d l99k f9r y9u. 6ut are we n9w t9 assume that all th9se wh9 are stricken with y9ur particular disadvantage9n will 6e similarly pr9ne t9 require such headgear, due t9 falling d9wn and hitting their heads frequently?

MITUNA: 8U7H 1 D0 F4LL D0WN 4ND H157 MY H34D FR3QUN3UN74NY

KANKRI: 9h, I kn9w y9u d9, and I think y9u sh9uld c9ntinue wearing it f9r y9ur safety, particularly if y9u c9ntinue t9 insist 9n fl9undering a69ut 9n y9ur danger9us t9y. It's m9re a69ut the unf9rtunate message y9u are sending 9verall, with certain aspects 9f y9ur pers9nality and existence, that's all.

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

KANKRI: As a friend, I w9uldn't want t9 change anything a69ut y9u, well, n9t m9st things. I just think y9u may n9t 6e d9ing y9urself 9r th9se wh9 are similarly disadvantaged any fav9rs with, what I'm h9ping, is a perfectly inn9cent array 9f traits and mannerisms. 8ut again, I say this with all due sensitivity.

MEENAH: vantas youre being a shit dont talk about him like that

KANKRI: Anyway, I didn't mean t9 derail. I'll 6e 9n my way. Please c9ntinue y9ur discussi9n, and try t9 keep s9me 9f the issues I descri6ed at length in mind.

MEENAH: i hate all of my friends so fucking much

[violetbard]

I wonder if anyone skipped over openbound and beyond so rapidly that they still have no idea how much of a bitch Aranea becomes. ))

[lostmystyx]

Pls enlighten me with ur kankri Hot Takes I don't know alot about the dancestors 🙏🙏🙏

buddy i know EVERYTHING about the dancestors. everything. and im wrong about nothing. i have read meenahbound at least ten times and that is an underestimate and not a joke. i have read every single fucking word kankris ever spoken, even the tiny shit, multiple fucking times, because my dedication to my craft is nothing if not thorough and torturous. ive read every goddamn character analysis there is on kankri, ive seen all the posts, ive read all the fics (not rlly i love myself), and i can tell you for a fact that everything everyone tells you about him is fuckint wrong. i started studying his character because i was mad abt how ooc ppl made him and i just got madder. i learned how to write him. i perfected it. and i havent done it in years because i hate him and his fans so fucking much. the world is not READY for my kankri takes. they do not DESERVE them.

but i love it when ppl ask me things, so for you, anon, i will take the time to divulge some of my secrets. first off, kankri is a bonafide grade a fucking asshole, hes ableist and sexist and abt every -ist under the sun, and he hides biting remarks under layers of political correctness and ranting so that by the time he insults you youre too zoned out to notice. that said, hes also not an outright asshole, hes not blunt with his meanness, hes not straight up about it, and people who just make him an uncaring dick are ALSO wrong. its an extremely thin line to walk and everyone is falling off like a toddler on a tightrope. he cares, deeply, but hes also fed up with everyone around him (and for good reason, because all of the other dancestors are ALSO massive assholes). he cares about being pc more than he cares about the actual issues hes "fighting for," he makes some good points, and he also makes a lot of bad ones. sometimes hes right, and sometimes hes just so caught up in what i believe boils down to a form of self-loathing via extreme policing of himself and others that he says and does the stupidest things known to man that make me want to cut my own dick off and staple it to my forehead so he can call me a whore and a transphobe.

second, hes capable of not ranting. like, he can carry a normal conversation where he talks a normal amount. it happens. inevitably someone will say something that gets him going, but you know. not every sentence has to be an essay.

third, oh my fucking god if one more person writes some fucking shit where hes "cured" of being celibate i am going to print out and laminate cards that say "youre an aphobe" to pass out to the masses. kankri isnt aroace, hes clearly in love with latula and just has self-imposed celibacy on himself possibly bc he thinks its gonna keep him from mucking up his quads, but even though hes not, and even if he was, the way people handle his celibacy is disgusting and offensive. if you dont want to write him celibate just dont make him celibate and pretend that never happened. otherwise it plays into the "ace ppl just havent found the right dick yet" thing, which iS RLLY OFFENSIVE. this is like. one of my number one kankri pet peeves. ill kill someone over this. the sexually repressed kankri hc i constantly see sucks and is objectively wrong anf im going to rip the head off of the next person i see doing it like a rabid fucking dog.

im going to make this my last note on this, bc i already have a headache just thinking about kankri, but the way ppl characterize his interpersonal relationships is bad. its bad. his relationship with latula is a mirror of karkats with terezi, nothing more, nothing less. his relationship with porrim is fucking bad and unhealthy. porrim babies and infantilizes him and regularly crosses his boundaries, and i t hink (?? dont quote me on this one its been a minute) the only time he rlly gets angry and blows up at someone is bc porrims does something he didnt consent to. at the same time, hes rlly rude to porrim and says loads of bigoted shit to her and treats her like shit. hes super ableist towards mituna, thinks hes an idiot, and treats him like shit. he doesnt really have a good relationship with anyone, because everyone hates him and he hates everyone and all of the dancestors are lions in a cage without enrichment, pacing back and forth and wondering how much longer they can stand each other before one of them snaps and kills the rest (oh wait! damara and meenah kind of did already! and kurloz is actively plotting a second death!)

anyway yeah. this is less of hot takes and more of a list of my pet peeves but yeah. i hate kankri, actually, i think hes the fucking worst, and i obsessively know everything about him out of spite.

disclaimer tho: i like all homestuck charas as charas like its cool its neat theyre cool n i hate kankri like you hate a villain but also i hate the fandoms idea of kankri and i hate kankri fans and if youre going to comment on this post defending ur hcs dont

[princeyandanxiety]

HONESTLY THO YALL REBLOG SOMETIMES ONE OF MY PERSINAL POSTS AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY BC THEYRE FUCKING BORING AS HELL 100K FANFICTION IS SATAN IM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO SELEP NOW

[dalishthunder]

cronus calls up kankri with the bulge situation because sometimes he's smart (well not really kankri is kinda stupid in a lot of areas, but has the optics of being smart enough cro sometimes falls for it and they're not the worst friends it's not important)

Kankri: So... You killed them. Through intercourse?

Cronus: I DON'T KNOW THEIR WEIRD INTERNET VON'T TELL ME ANY SOLUTIONS

Cronus: VWHAT DO I DO

Kankri: Well Cronus it was very problematic you did that. Humans are pretty averse to being murdered, in fact, it has no place in their culture. I'm actually kind of disappointed in you. Did you at least have their consent to kill them? Not that it really absolves much, but-

Cronus: KANKRI PLS

Kankri: Alright, alright. Hmm... Ah. Doing some research, I found humans revere a product called... "ducttape", claiming it fixes "everything"? Perhaps there are medicinal uses to consider. Will that help?

I can't decide if it's funnier if Cronus just hangs up right there because Kankri is useless or if he's like. Kankri you're a fucking GENIUS and scrambles to get the thing idk I just like no one having any braincells at any given time

im laughing so fucking hard its unreal

Because cronus would probably under normal circumstances be like 'actually yknow what you're stupid' but in his panicked state he's like 'KANKRI YOU GENIUS'

alternatively

Cronus: *Calls up meenah because she's smart and knows what to do all the time* HELP IVWE KILLED THE LOVWE OF MY LIFE WITH MY BULGE AND I DONT KNOWV HOWV TO FIX IT

Meenah: I know how

Cronus, finally stopping crying: REALLY

Meenah: A shovel

[pinktatertots99]

seer => refuse to see the bonds

brain: lets make a string of fate au. me: aight- brain: with kankri. me: oh- brain: and attempt a character analysis and deconstruction me:...basically an angsty mess? brain: :D me: .....aight.

========>

Your vision goes down for just a second, only to look away once you see your hands. You squint as you hold your eyes closed to forget the strings around them. You have four strings on your hands, two on each hand in four familial colors: red, black, grey, and a pale-ish pink almost white.

Your quadrants. You have all four filled with the potential of who the filler’s will be. The benefits of being a seer of blood you suppose, even if something like this seems a bit too literal, but you guess beforus’s society isn't the only one to give you a headache, no apparently paradox space decided to have its fun with you as well in making fun of your celibacy.

Your romantic quadrants are on your left hand on, the pitch is on your middle finger while your flushed is on your ring finger. Your platonic quadrants are on your right, your diamond is on your pinky and your ashen is on your thumb. It's almost impossible not to see them when you're texting out your spea-you mean your responses to naively thinking individuals and their toxic mindsets on the internet. The only benefit is you can't see your strings to the usernames on there, only in person so you suppose paradox space wanted to give you a break especially with how much of this has left you with a bile taste of resentment to everything you’ve been through up to being able to see them.

Apparently from what you’ve gotten from your dead god-tiered self after a rather frustrating but understandable conversation, a reason you don't talk to your dead selve’s very often, you're not the only one. It's a commonality in many of your other dead selves. The only difference was how close each one was to the classpect after death. Obviously your tiered self was able to not only see his own potential quadrant mates but also everyone else’s, while other versions of you could barely see just one of their very own strings.

You envy them for that truly. This power is so ultimately useless. You’d expect it for meulin of ALL trolls and classpects but you yourself? It spits in the face of who you are; a celibite troll with no interest in filing any quadrants whatsoever. You already get enough flack from the others in your ragtag poorly taught group of ‘friends’ you call loosely, you don't need this offending god-tier power to confirm to you that their naive way of thinking your celibacy is worthless is true because it’s NOT.

You dont need some stupid strings to basically play leijon’s shipping game for your quadrants. Besides that you really see no reason to even fill them, what just because some strings told you? No offense to hoofbeast-identifying individuals but that’s bullshit. Who goes by some string of fate to fulfill such concupiscent needs unless you're actually wanting such needs? Just like any other bullshit you don't look at what they're connected to. You try to just barely see them but it is hard when you need your fingers to do most things.

You choose to keep your head up, eyes rarely open only to make eye contact best you can, and you refuse to look at anyone else’s hands. It's unlikely you could be able to see their space assigned quadrants but from what you've gathered, besides your tiered self you're the closest to identifying so closely to your classpect out of all the dead versions of yourself.

You can't bring yourself to anyways even if you were able to, to see who pyrope’s flushed string went to even if you knew the answer you're not going to justify its existence because this power is just downright stupid its completely none of your business anyways your just friends, only friends.

You're like that with most of the ghosts here, you have no reasons to follow some god strings to your quadrants if you don't even feel for any of them like that anyways in any color. You use your process of elimination to confirm this.

The humans can barely do any form of quadrants, of course no offense to some such as porrim’s descendant and her matesprit-or girlfriend perhaps would be the more correct term yes. But any other quadrants is rather a hard one to decipher being one to fill anyones let alone yours. Even with your own descendant’s' friends you're highly not one wanting any of them as confirmable quadrants, who’d want to be immortally bound to a six sweep old in any of them? Forbid the romantic ones for that matter, you're better than meenah. Speaking of, you’ve already considered most of your ‘acquaintances’ as nicely as you can call them ineligible for any idea of quadrants, but it's not like you wont try and be as friendly as possible, even if they barely change for the better or are just insufferable to be around with.

Even if you did know your quadrants from these cursed strings, you really have nothing you can give a quadrant. You could try but you only have so much, especially if they can't fill their own end of the relationship. Your especially not fond of the idea of a moirail, you can take care of yourself just FINE you don't need someone to coddle you when you feel a little bit upset, you’ve learned coping mechanisms for such a thing to not rely on anyone, or be forced to, but that’d fall into a territory of beforus’s unjust treatment that you should save for another sermo-you mean conversation. It's a similar issue for the others, some form of dependence on them that disgusts you, if they do so for others though its fine but yourself you feel a knot in your digestive system over such a thought. Depend on someone to hate you in a healthy way, love you in a healthy way, look after you in a healthy way, the dependence and trust you’d need for such quadrants is...horrifying.

To get your mind off it you wonder if there ever was or is a version of you that never got these strings. The dead versions you’ve found so far have had them from what you were able to see if not faded slightly due to your lack of god-tier but that’s fine, you hate to stick your nose into others business’s unlike your stupid power. If there ever was a version of you without them you wonder how, perhaps he never met your ‘friend group’, perhaps english had killed him in his attack, or perhaps they were destroyed? You're doubtful, a prince or bard could, but you're doubtful on if hope or rage could destroy such a thing. But if there was a version of you without them you envy him the most. Not needing such presumptuous strings to try and drag you into quadrants and keep true to your vow, strings that have you believe you will break said vows for them, it’s truly something you wish you had.

You open your eyes, arms crossed and hiding your hands in them. It doesn't stop the strings from being seen near your boots but you can pretend that’s not yours, it's someone else’s. Your name is kankri vantas, and you have more important duties to fulfil in this afterlife as long as these bubbles remain unpoppable then to worry about some silly strings.

[stabbedslick]

hecking *love* your human slick design, so choice, wanna give us some of those head canons chief?

OH BOY HOWDY DO I! They aren’t super like, Organized or anything so I hope you dont mind me going off! Have this drawing first of alls

Spades Slick (Also known as Jack Noir, only if you’re in the Crew or related, Sn0wman, or Scratch. Anyone else, better hope you don’t know.) adopted Karkat off the streets when he was about 4, and tried to mug the scariest crime lord in the city with a knife he found. Slick was like Nice gumption kid, and took him and the hermit crab he had stolen from the beach front store in as his own

Rest of my hcs Under the cut!

He’s been running the Crew for most of his life, used to be part of a different one before splitting off with the Midnight Crew, and his crime empire is one of the biggest ones out there. After adopting Karkat (The rest of the Stabkids are actually blood related to their respective fathers from various relationships over the years, with aradia being the oldest. They are around the same age however.)

karkats birth family, the Signless was his dad (idk really about his mom) and they lived in New Mexico and the Signless, was really pro anti establishment but he’d go around and help members of the community but they got busted in a raid under the false pretense that they had narcotics in their base of operations since he was starting to look into things people didn’t want him to, and at this time Kankri is about like 5, and Karkats only about 1. In the midst of all this and the signless being detained, they’re forced into the adoption system and Kankris picked up by this very white very christian family, and Karkats shipped off to a Foster home he runs away from. He lives on the streets until he finds Slick around 4 who takes him in and adopts him. 

 Years later he wants to find out about his birth family, even a little bit and Slick and him go to his old foster home and find out his last name Vantas which he was never sure of because he was too young to remember it, he’s been Karkat Noir and he tries getting in contact with Kankri and the Signless who’s been in jail for years and deported

slick is very apprehensive about letting karkat see the signless, but hes honestly probably the one who’s set it up because he knows how much it means to karkat and. The signless is continuously a man to be hard to be mad at. Its impossible look at him.And this might even be where karkat finds out about kankri? Whos come to visit the signless a few times himself but who karkat didnt know about

And so he drags the other stabkids when theyre all around 17-18ish to find kankri and slick just barely lets him go bc. Slicks Mean but also. He cares so much about Karkat and he knows itll kill him thinking about this brother he didnt know existed. Slick also knows karkat is far too soft to take over the crew one day and its been on his mind since day 1

karkat gets to meet the dolorosa and hes never had a grandma before (slicks parents are Waaaaaayyyy outta the picture) and hes never met someone like her before and he is sort of loving it ans kankri who will deny enjoying himself there a lot definitely loves spending time with her tooPorrim and kanaya are her grand daughters (whos their mom or dad? Iunno)

Karkat is, terrified when he runs home one day after getting word what happened while he was at college and the place is trashed and slick is nowhere to be seen and he nearly loses it because he thinks slicks dead for a moment before Slick slowly comes in behind him missing an eye and an arm Karkats known almost his entire life.

Aradia sollux and tavros all have to visit their dads in jail and slicks falling apart without them by his side and karkat has to like, realize for the first time i think that spades slick is not invulnerable no matter how much he thinks he is

Im sorry that was mostly about Karkat kghsdkg

Slick views the midnight crew aligned in a very Italian Family style sort of mob manner, very focused on keeping things how he wants them and how his family wants them, and putting them above anything else.

[vriskadyke]

excerpt: gods of earth c

when i started writing 'someone will remember us (even in another time)', i knew i had to limit myself to certain characters. some of them aren't heroic, and therefore wouldnt be seen as gods; some are just irrelevant. i eventually settled on having the alpha kids, the beta kids, calliope, and the surviving trolls (vriska, terezi, kanaya, karkat, aradia, sollux) be the gods. i did, however, write short bios for other characters (such as the dancestors)! here's a list of some of the god names i came up with for them. 

tw for mentions of canon sexual assault, the use of the c slur, misogyny, ableism, and generally stuff i dont agree with. part of the point of this series is just how badly earth c misinterprets everything bc for Me earth c is like. This world but also we have trolls and carapacians and consorts and some people can do magic and religion is different. but homophobia/transphobia & misogyny & ableism etc still exist.

tavros: page of breath, the eternal child, peter pan, keeper of the little ones, animal whisperer, the cr*ppled god (derogatory, ill fight them), the boy blessed with flight, he-who-will-soar-above, the cowardly bull (modern, can be derogatory).

nepeta: rogue of heart, the longing one, the clawed goddess, the watching lover, catnip, she-who-loves-but-has-sharp-teeth, huntress of hearts, the woman of the pairings, cat lady (modern, can be derogatory)

equius: the heir of void, the archer, the horseman, he-who-has-everything, the maker of hearts, the broken tooth, the cavalryman, the builder, the obedient servant, the sweaty one (modern)

gamzee: the bard of rage, the clown, the raging beast, the butcher, he-who-cannot-die, the unkillable, the painted man, son of salt, the fucking juggalo (modern, derogatory)

eridan: the prince of hope, the betrayer, he-who-is-the-killer-of-angels, the admiral, the white villain, the scientific alchemist, the turncoat, the jealous one, incel (modern, derogatory, and also true). 

feferi: the witch of life, the uncrowned princess, she-who-is-the-last-of-empresses, mother sea, bitch of life (derogatory, relatively modern, and also fight me), heiress of the deeps, carer for the horrorterrors, queen of dreams

damara: the witch of time, slave of the white doctor, the scorned girl, daughter of green, the handmaid/en, the betraying bitch (modern, derogatory, shut the fuck up) she-who-was-broken-by-time (much of my interpretation of damara comes from the fic "all the corpses stare back")

rufioh: the rogue of breath, the breath-stealer, the handsome one, he-of-revolutions-and-wings, the cheating bastard (modern, derogatory, also its true), the communer, the summoner, he-who-laughs-flying

mituna: the heir of doom, the broken son, he-who-was-bright-and-then-dimmed, the psiioniic, the helmsman, the retard (modern, derogatory, also everyone who says this gets killed by sollux, and also me), the honeyboy, 

kankri: the seer of blood, the man without signs, the preacher, the speaker, the blood dreamer, he-who-was-born-again, son of scarlet, the sjw (everyone who calls him this does it for the wrong reasons, modern)

meulin: the mage of heart, the disciple, the lioness, she-who-heard-and-was-deafened, the deaf listener, recorder of truths and teachings, apostle of the bloodseer, that deaf one (people dont consider this derogatory, but 1) it is and 2) its dismissive as hell and rude, modern)

porrim: the maid of space, the dolorosa, the maiden mother, she-who-nurtures, daughter of darkness and light, the lady jade, the cavern dweller, the unsilenced woman, the raging feminist (derogatory but absolutely something she’d be like “yes, and?” about)

latula: the knight of mind, the neophyte, redglare, she-who-swings-from-nooses, the betrayed lawyer, dragonwoman, the quiet lover, she-who-was-burdened-with-a-broken man (NO she wasnt earth c, her relationship w/ mituna is a happy one and the fact that hes disabled doesnt make him a burden), the lovesick idiot (modern, derogatory- YES shes in love with mituna, NO that doesnt make her an idiot)

aranea: the sylph of light, the pirate marquise, the mind & the fang, the betrayer, the twice killed, the captain, she-who-escaped-the-noose, the rapist (derogatory, reference to her sexual harassment of jake and her sexually assaulting the dolorosa as mindfang)

horuss: the page of void, the executor, darkleer, sparer-of-the-disciple, the mistress, he-who-let-loose-that-final-arrow, homewrecker (derogatory, modern- not exactly true. rufioh did cheat on damara with him, and he knew that rufioh was dating damara at the time, but horuss didnt set out to seduce rufioh)

kurloz: the prince of rage, the highblood, the grand clown, the god with the threaded mouth, the laughing king, he-who-no-longer-speaks, son of the paint & blood, breaker of the disciple (i wouldnt call this derogatory as much as ‘blaming’- it refers to kurloz making meulin deaf and also ghb torturing the disciple by forcing her to see the sufferer’s torture)

cronus: the bard of hope, the orphaner, dualscar, the breaker of spades, the smirking son, he who makes much music, the hipster douchebag (modern, derogatory, and absolutely correct)

meenah: the thief of life, the imperial princess, the rebel daughter, she-who-killed-friends-to-save-them, commander of the dreaming dead, the sleeping queen, daughter of gold & tyrian, the bitchy tyrant (modern, derogatory)

caliborn: the lord of time, lord english, the skeleton king, he-who-eats-the-world, the breaker of clocks, the enemy

the condesce: the condesce, the condescension, the evil trollqueen, she-who-searches-forever-for-a-throne, the mother of the sea, queen of darkness and derse

thats pretty much it for the Big Titles. theyve also got names for other, smaller characters:

davepeta is the wandering knight of change. (dave is a knight, and nepeta was a rogue: therefore a ‘rogue knight’, a wandering knight. the time aspect is about, well, time, and the heart aspect is about the understanding of self; as time goes on, one’s understanding of oneself changes and grows, therefore their aspect is change- so the wandering knight of change.)

arquius is the royal of secrets. (i hc hal as being a prince of mind, and equius is an heir of void. both heirs and princes have an element of royalty to them (even if heir isnt strictly royal). mind is about ideas and knowledge, and void is about hidden things and nothingness- so hidden ideas & knowledge is secrets. thus, a royal of secrets.)

jasprose is the lioness of the sun (she doesnt have much of a class; jasprose doesnt act like much of a seer tbh, but she definitely has a light aspect. she doesnt fit within many classes, and her ‘catness’ is something she emphasizes and is very comfortable with. she’s very strong and powerful as seen in the collide fight, and she has the light aspect and is connected thru jasper to the land of light and rain; thus, a lioness (big cat) of the sun.)

nanna is the nurturer of creation (she fits well as a maid of life, but that’s jane’s title, and we cant give her that, so nurturer because nanna is very nurturing- helping john throughout the game, raising dadbert (most well-adjusted character of all time)- and because creation is a synonym of life)

[xkarkat-vantasx]

Kankri TL 1

Canonmates: none

Who i want to find: everyone to apologize lmao

Tw: major death that is the reust of the dreambubbles, suicide brief mentions

Shortt enough meenah told me to shut up and while we were alive i was very outspoken and was less ranty and just wanted to be helpful.

Being told to shut up was common and i was getting more and more angry and so the last straw was that. I snapped and idk how because i blacked out but i killed everyone. When i came to my senses i had noticed the jade blood was fressh and that i was kneeling. It was Cronus was in my lap, barely alive but not for long. I was so shocked and scared.

Cronus wasn't the best guy but literally none of us were.

He cared about me and i secretly loved him.

He would flirt with me on and off and i would just blush and pretend like it wasnt getting to me.

Seeing him look at me he laughed. He laughed and said "i dont blame you and im sorry. Wish i could have been a better friend" in the yknow. Cronus voice. And i started crying. He died and i kissed him lightly and then i killed myself.

Welp here are the dream bubbles where we just fuckin exist. It took me plenty of sweeps before i let myself try and talk to people

Meenah was still salty and yknow i dont really care but porrim, Cronus, latula, rufio, damara, and mituna were all worried because they hadn't seen me.

Well i apologized and meenah told me to grow a pair and to just move on with my life and so i did.

After being alone for so long it gave me time to study and evaluate myself. That the celibacy was an awful idea. Cut that shit out. It didnt matter. I was a romantic troll and i wanted some of that.

So i dated. Singularly and no quadrants. I liked doing things more in a human manor when it came to dating. Cronus enjoyed that.

I was a lanky troll here. Lanky but i was strong. Think slim muscle. I was average height and i had a case of big red eyed and long lashes.

Cronus was angular but soft? and scrappy man. He had a sweet face. His skin on his arms and face were rougher notnsuper rough though but his hands were soft except some places he grew callus. He wasnt mich taller than me but a little taller

Porrim was this tall curvy woman. Her tattoes gradually collected and i think it was damara who did them. She was firm and basically punk aunt that takes you out either for a cool night or to kick your ass when you did something awful.

I cant remember the rest too well but id love yo talk to anyone who remembers more.

[waspmaniinc-blog]

Psii gets arrested electric boogaloo

> @scarletoracle​ “arrested” waspmaninc

> Psii felt the urgency

Psii: YOUR IDIOT IS MEETING WITH THE GHB

Psii: WHY ARE YOUR DESCENDANTS SO BOLD AND STUPID LIKE YOU

> Kai stares at himself and Eli

Kai: well you see

Psii: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PSII: TALK HIM OUT OF IT

PSII: TALK HIM OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW

Kai:

Kai: but what if it works

PSii: are you mental

Psii: Didn't you HEAR WHAT I TOLD YOU LESS THAN A WEEK AGO

Kai: wait fuck no I KNOW BUT WE CAN AT LEAST GET INFORMATION FROM HIM IT'S A CALCULATED MANEUVER

PSII: ??!?!?!?!?!?

Kai: fuck ok YOU'RE RIGHT but

Kai: but it's an opportunity

Kai: fuck no you're right i need to stop this

Psii: the Highblood already tried to kill me the moment he saw me

PSii: I dont think he wouldnt try with HIM

Psii: or worse

Psii: the voodoos

Kai: rrRGH i know, i know. Listen do you know where he is? Where he's going?

Psii: You are not going to like this

Psii: He lives with the felt

PSii: his meeting is next week at [COORDS]

Psii: You have a week to make this stop

Kai: FUCK

Kai: okay 

Kai: okay i mean i knew he was with felt i think 

Kai: i can do this

Psii: Also he already met with Eli and has copied the entire tome and he kind of hates me because apparently I've been tarnishing our reputation by pulling my stunts online

PSii: He knows she doesn't know and IS JUDING ME FOR IT

PSii: THE NERVE OF YOUR DESCENDANT

PSii: goddamn little shit if Eli wasn't there I would had-

Kai: SHhhhhh i know. Ok i know. He's a lot like me and that means being a judgy asshole. I need to.... 

Kai: fuck i need to see her Psii.  How am i going to do both of this in a week

Psii: how did you even get to do a revolution 

PSii: you just have to

Psii: if I could stand in a place and talk about the revolution without having a single spark come out

PSii: you can talk to 2 trolls who need to be talked to

PSii: Elishiva is at the hospital this is her number for the room

Psii: Kankri is online you can wrangle a meeting, if not give me a few days to see what he has disclosed online so I Can give it to you

Kai: okay Kai: thanks

Kai: I'll do that

> Psii gives Kai a PAT PAT

Psii: I believe you can do it

Psii: unless you fuck it up which is equally possible

Kai: I'm not going to fuck it up it's fine. I'm going to do it properly. Eli first, then...then I'll figure my descendant out

Psii: I can yeet him to space if you want me to

Kai: NO! NO yeeting into space that's not going to help anything

Psii:  are you sure

Kai: I'm very sure so stop it

Psii: okay

Psii: THEN ILL YEETYOU

> Kai, GRABBING ONTO HIM

Kai: NO YEETING

> Psii YEETS BOTH UP TO THE AIR

> Kai HAVING TO HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE AROUND HIS NECK

> Psii floats both quietly back down

Kai, still claws digging in: ....are you done

Psii: maybe

Kai: If you drop me it's going to be your fault and i won't be able to fix any of this mess

Psii: we are one the ground

Kai: glances down 

Kai: Right.

> Kai GINGERLY GETTING BACK TO HIS FEET

Psii: heh heh heh heh

Kai probably smacking him over the head

Psii: OW

Kai: you deserve that. And also that's for lifting me the other night

Psii: That was dun 

Psii: but I didn't win

PSii: I'll never be as strong at the rest

Psii: I was made to be a STICK

Kai: i don't know about that i think sweeps of starvation and trauma Also does that

Psii: I dont like to think about that

Psii: Makes me think about the everything

PSii:HAHA SHIT

Kai: hmmm Kai: you may pick me up but ONLY if you warn me before

Psii:  NICE