#kangho the man that you are!!

[marymekpop]

⟢ highlight of the hour: the good bad mother [1/14] ⟣

priorities

[imswansong]

Sexual/Sacred Joke (Translated)

This is an 18+ Vogue interview from 2010 with Shin Hakyun so read at your own risk

Shin Hakyun appears in Director Lee Hae-young’s sex-fantasy film Festival as a macho man who is preoccupied by size. In order to surprise this quiet, bashful actor who only opens his mouth on screen, I threw at him some mischievous questions filled with sexual innuendos. 

Now, the readers won’t be interested in your serious narrative. So let’s pretend that this interview is one big sex joke, and play a game. 

Ah… Okay, hehehe (he sounds like he doesn’t understand).

Do you think all directors are perverts?

Us filmmakers, we all have perverted tendencies. We just live quietly without showing them.

Live without showing… So you admit that you have perverted tendencies. 

I don’t know. But I’m certain that those tendencies are provoked by the directors.

Actors occasionally seem to feel pleasure by swinging a whip or shooting semen all over the place on screen. You attempted a threesome in Thirst, right? I do think it’s heartbreaking that you had your wife taken from you by a vampire, but wickedly, you were lying in between Song Kangho and Kim Okbin.

They were tangled up in each other’s pleasure and ended up killing me before finally having sex, and I involuntarily found myself on the bed between them. It wasn’t my intention.

Hm hm, are you prepared to speak about the filthy desire sitting in your heart at any moment?

No. Expelling that filthy desire through acting is enough.

What do you think about the comedic expulsion in Joint Security Area and Save the Green Planet?

You’re talking about older things. They are merely victims. They are abnormal people who were driven to insanity by society.

Do you act for communication or pleasure?

Communication 6, pleasure 4. I’m not good at communicating. I was born that way. I wasn't able to tell my stories since childhood.

So you’re very repressed.

Is it a problem that I don’t have much to say? I’m saying that I have a big desire to communicate, but I don’t want to express that through speech.

I understand. But we all have to say something. That’s how interviews work. Should we talk about the center of acting-based pleasure? Is it the mouth? Hands? Ears? Chest?

The brain. The brain becomes very sensitive… and the cells roar, I don’t know how to describe it.

Try your hardest to think about what to say.

So… This is… Just, it’s like that. It definitely feels like something is being relieved…

Let’s say it’s the feeling of ejaculating. Then what about size?

Size?

A man’s size.

In Festival, this guy is a macho cop who has no hopes or plans for the future. We don’t know if he says he’s big because his genitals are actually big, or if he’s actually not that big but is lying instead. Like most men do.

How about you?

Me? I don’t think size and confidence are directly proportional. Saying that makes me feel smaller for some reason.

Oh! You don’t feel like someone who's small. So you don’t need a Na Hoon-A-esque performance. But are sexual confidence and sexual jokes directly proportional to each other?

I tend to only listen.

Are you saying you’ve never told a sex joke before?

There are many times I don’t talk at all in any situation.

Have you read erotic novels? Ones like Let’s Go! To the Rose Inn by Ma Kwang-soo, Try Lying to Me by Jang Jung-il, The Road to the Racetrack by Ha Il-ji. 

I like classic novels. I’ve been re-reading The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky and King Lear and Othello by Shakespeare.

I expect nothing less. You starred in this movie with Oh Dalsoo, Sung Dongil and Ryu Seungbeom. Their sexual tendencies are also diverse. Sung Dongil prepares a whip and handcuffs and waits to be dominated, Ryu Seungbeom who loves dolls more than women, fairy Oh Dalsoo who wears laces and moves around gently…

I’m so jealous of those actors. They’re really funny if you see them on set. They act and talk freely. But compared to Oh Dalsoo, I’m a talker.

I know that Shin Hakyun and Oh Dalsoo fall in a similar category. In comparison to Sung Dongil and Ryu Seungbeom who are always hopping about, you two are pure, silent, and internal perverts. How was it with Won Bin, who you filmed My Brother with?

That guy talks less than me. He’s really quiet, to the point where I’m curious [about him]. I heard he likes games, but… when compared to him, I think I would have to keep from talking more.

Oh, but not now! How much do you consider women’s feelings?

Women’s feelings? I’m happy when the other person is happy. I work hard to satisfy the woman. Depending on the situation, I would use various actions and techniques.

How would you feel if you found your lover’s vibrator?

In the movie, I see it in secret and pretend not to know. I’m an unconfident person who even failed his examination for promotion, so size matters more to him, and thus he is hurt by his lover owning a vibrator.

I read Park Min-gyu’s novel recently and it had a similar story. A car salesperson returned home and asked for a meal, and his wife asked “Haven’t you eaten yet?” which made him go ballistic and cause a scene in their house. At that moment, he finds a vibrator in their closet. His mind goes blank and he runs away from home, sailing off to the moon.

I understand. But sexual capability isn’t too important to me, so I think I would be fascinated by the vibrator. [I would ask] Where did you get this? Do you normally use it? Is it good? I would respect it as it’s a form of play that doesn’t pertain to the man’s abilities.

Are you closer to a sadist or a masochist?

I despise getting hit, and I also hate hitting the other person because they wouldn’t enjoy it.

Do you have masochistic tendencies when you work? In Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, I heard you were beaten by Song Kangho so much that you had bruises all over your body, but you didn’t scream once.

There is a side of me that exudes newfound energy when I’m exhausted and abused.

Sexually, what do you think is between the rebellious teenage phase and the greasy old person phase?

There would be the youth who freely enjoys everything and the middle-aged person who is filled with fantasies.

Which one do you fall under?

I don’t know, I’m not sure where I would fit in. Regardless, I’m healthy. Hehe.

What would you say to all the withered virgin men and women?

I don’t even get to meet any of them.

What if they came to you for advice/counseling?

So? What do you want me to do? That’s your problem.

As a reporter, I have no choice but to invade the actor’s private life. We are pitiful torturers. You understand, right?

Yes, I know. I’m sorry I can’t be a fiery sacrifice for you.

I heard you drink alone for more than half of each year?

I drink every day. I like feeling intoxicated. I considered brewing alcohol on my own if I didn't act.

When are you most bored?

I’m most bored after finishing a project when I’m waiting without any future plans. I’m also bored when I have to drink on the set while waiting, without the presence of my character.

How did you feel when you first watched Like a Virgin, Director Lee Hae-young’s first installment of his sexual fantasy work?

It was touching. It was cute to see young Ryu Deokhwan crossdressing in a Chinese-style dress and applying lipstick. Also the scene where the father looks down at his son while riding an excavator.

What would you say if the actual Madonna entered this room, completely nude?

Please leave! I’m scared. You’re not my type. I like round women.

Have you ever pictured yourself wanting to slap Marilyn Monroe’s buttocks?

What buttocks? I do want to have a drink with her. Even though we wouldn’t be able to understand each other and there would be no need to talk in the first place.

If you had to act as either a priest or a monk who is facing some sexual challenge, who would you pick?

Song Kangho hyung played a priest in Thirst. The monk role would be more fun. It would be the Buddhist version of Thirst, called Did You See?... (T/N: “Did you see” in Korean is pronounced “Bwat-ji,” which sounds similar to Thirst’s Korean title “Bak-jwi.”)

Oh! You told a joke for the first time.

You’re asking troubling questions so I can’t be serious. Try asking this question to other actors. They’ll all be good at [answering]. I can’t talk or sing and I freeze whenever I even see a studio camera. I’ve had no reason to train for this type of conversation, either.

Try playing on the boundary between jokes and serious talk. Let’s make the claim that, for instance, Lindsay Lohan wants to have a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and 45 minutes later, she will announce her marriage to Brandon Flowers of the band The Killers.

I’d do anything if it’s for acting in a film…

What do you mean by that?

I could act as a gay or transgender character, or I could run around the Myeongdong streets while naked.

That’s not a scene I would particularly want to see. If only one film could remain in this world, what should it be?

Wealth and honor, hehe. (T/N: Term for “wealth and honor” in Korean is pronounced “bu-gwi-yeong-hwa” and the word for “movie” in Korean is “yeong-hwa.” Shin Hakyun was making a pun based with the last two letters/syllables of the first word, which overlap with the word for “movie.”)

You keep smiling/laughing only.

Smiling is my habit. In school, I was friends with everyone. Smart kids, carefree kids, kids who always fought. They were all nice to me, and that was because I always smiled without saying anything. Since then, smiling has become a habit.

So smiling was your version of camouflage. It is a bit sad for being the origin story of a million-dollar smile.

Hehehe.

What pose would you do if you were chosen as the cover model of Playboy?

I would show my back. I’m not confident about my front. My butt appears in this film Festival as well. It is a shame that I had to look oily and plump due to my character being a lazy drunk.

When does the orgasm of acting come around in this film?

This movie begins with a scene where I ejaculate.

Ejaculation, right off the bat?

Haha.

Lastly, please say a word for all the pitiful audience members of this generation who are struggling with sexlessness and frigidity.

I think frigidity has more to do with mental factors rather than physical… But I don’t have that, so… I’d only know if I’ve experienced it… I’m not even a doctor, what should I say? Anyway, I’m healthy when it comes to sex. I’m not indifferent. I’m sure of that.

@capricorniohash, @pass-in-the-night, @seveneaglestar, @ladykyrin

[10underoot2]

Overlooked Scars

They were finally alone after so long. They had the night to themselves. With yejin and seojin off at their grandma's, things escalated between the two of them.

They were all smiles as they made out. It felt like they were young once again. Back in the days of their tiny Seoul apartment.

Kangho took off Mijoo's shirt and laid her down as he kissed her deeply. He moved away from her lips only to move to her neck. He focused on a spot he remembered Mijoo particularly liked. It felt so natural. They had known each other for so long. He could easily navigate his way. He knew what Mijoo liked what she disliked. It just felt right being here with her.

Mijoo moaned as she ran her hands through his hair. She led his face towards her and kissed him again. She played with the hem of his shirt urging him to take it off. She had always been impatient, he thought fondly. Smiling he immediately proceeded to do as asked.

KangHo stated a trail of kisses starting from her neck down to her bellybutton. He stopped as he got there though.

It was barely visible, just there; tiny discoloration and marks more like patterns on her skin. Mijoo looked down on him from her position

'Why did you st-' she stopped mid sentence when she noticed him looking at her stomach in slight shock.

'Mien' she said quickly trying to cover herself up but Kangho just ran a hand across her skin. He didn't remember this, he thought. It didn't take him long to connect the dots though. He immediately knew this was a consequence of their two angels. He realized once again that he never truly appreciated how much women go through every single day.

Mijoo felt his extremely soft touch. It exuded love but she had fell in self doubt now. She was in bed with the man she loved after so long. It was stupid really to think this way. This was her Kangho. But was he really so taken aback seeing her body change? Does he not want me anymore? She couldn't help having these thoughts

As if reading her thoughts, Kangho started placing little kisses on her skin, holding her ever so softly.

Once he was satisfied that he hd showered her with enough love to appease her thoughts he rached up to kiss her lips once more.

'I'm sorry. I forgot and I wasn't used to it since this was my first time. Mien mijoo ya. Don't ever think I would want you any less because of a trivial thing like this. You're just as beautiful as I remember.' he gently pushed her hair away from her face and caressed her cheek.' I thank the stars each day and moment I get to be with you.' he said as he kissed her deeply once more.

Mijoo smiled at him. He really knew what and when to say. It was one of his charms. He could always appease her. She let herself get lost in the man who held her. Her hands roamed around his body especially his strong back and chest. She had missed the feel of him against her so much. His breath, hugs, heart beat, his voice. She found all of it back. Yet as she explored his upper body again it felt so different. She felt roughness where she was used to the smooth texture of his skin.

As he pulled back to smile at her, she saw it. In the moment they both lay still and just looked a each other she could see it so visibly. How could she have missed it. KangHo smiled at her but she felt her smile dropping.

She raised her hand to meet the constellations of scars at the top right of his chest. She was horrified. How did she never think about this. At times KangHo's accident seemed so far away in their lives that it was easy to forget. She should've realized ofcourae he hid scars underneath the layers of his clothes.

He noticed where Mijoo had placd her fingers 'It' s nothing Mijoo ya' he smiled brushing it off.

'But this isn't all either.' she got up turning him slightly to see his back. His lower back had a lot more of these healed scars while his shoulder harboured two as well.

Kangho realized she must've felt them as she explored him. He smiled at the thought. She always payed the most careful attention to him. He turned back taking her hands in his.

'Let's not think about our scars Mijoo.'

'Ani. I think they tell stories of how far we've come.' She said with a tinge of sadness' At any rate, ' she continued taking his face in her hands 'I'm glad I'm the only women who gets to see you like this.'

He smiled wider 'See me how?' he pushed her further.

'Complete. Unbared. All mine.' Mijoo smiled back as she moved to kiss him deeply. The only thought on her mind to show him how loved he was.

'I'm all yours indeed.' He smiled before moving to where Mijoo needed him the most.

[possession1981-moving]

hiya aléks! how about hyungwon for the ask game?

this is so easy. you know thirst by pcw? you know shin hakyun's character? that's hyungwon. he was made to play the pathetic sickly man in a VERY weird freudian relationship with his mother whom kim okbin and song kangho kill in their therese raquin frenzy.

send me a kpop idol and i'll cast them in an already existing horror movie

[chiveburger]

soeun clearly had plans to become a couple and start a relationship with sangchul PRIOR to finding out his family background and his history with her sister’s court case. so him turning fucking nuts is evitable but what I don’t want to happen is soeun to find out that sooho was the one that testified at her sister’s court case...... except THAT sooho isn’t THIS sooho!!!!!! kangho was probably in fucking jail then lmaooooo and that’s bad, but at least he wasn’t affiliated with an event that has traumatized her. kangho is already feeling as if he doesn’t have the right to even like soeun but it would just suck BIG BALLS if every single corrupted thing that sooho ever did transferred to kangho. can he one day just come clean to soeun in private and be like “for the past months I’ve been pretending to be a judge but I’m actually the criminal you questioned when you were training to be a prosecutor hehe.” I honestly feel she would 1) believe him and 2) want to fall in love with THAT instead of the man who had anything to do with her sister’s court case. I really think that and soeun sees kangho as the justice filled, moral and sincere person he really is. not whatever on paper record that sooho has which is now technically kangho’s problem. If sooho just jets then everything would be solved because kangho could probably literally kill the people who are trying to murder him with his own two hands anyways, sooho can’t even run with a taser right.

[lilvcsxngs]

| continuation from ; ❝ you like me, right? ❞ |

                                        └━━━━━━━━➤ @fckxillusion

          ❝ of course, you didn’t. you were not getting your cock nicely sucked while trying to make a joint.  i got distracted by you, so don’t blame me. ❞ even though his features were still in a neutral shape, it could be easily seen how kangho’s attitude had been changing towards the other, by the manner his eyes slightly sparked with amusement upon hearing the boy’s provocative words. afterward, no other sound came from his part. he simply remained with his gaze fixed on chen’s handsome visage, attentively visualizing him whilst his hands explored the singer’s own form, searching for the lighter the latter always carried around. upon the younger of the two found it and lit the tip of their joint, taking then a drag before passing it, kangho removed one of his calloused hands from the other’s waist so he could bring the little roll towards his plump lips, taking some long inhalations and expelling the smoke into the air with his chin raised. as he did so, he also noticed how chen’s skilled mouth worked on his jaw, deposing some enticing kisses enough to make him hum satisfied. however, once the brown-haired man stole the joint from his posse, enjoying it for himself, the older one found his palm dropping on the contrary lap, unconsciously drawing irregular patterns with the tips of his digits whilst watching the other until a brand new question reached his ears ❝ why are you asking me that all of the sudden ? ❞

[10underoot2]

Apologies

Kang Ho wished she would hit him more.

Everyday he saw the effort it took into raising childern. Everyday he faced a new challenge. Yejin and Seojin fighting, being bullied at school, their kids struggling with the remaining emotions of his absence and the sudden presence and truth of his identity. Everyday he imagined the emotional, physical, financial strain of raising two kids as a single mother. All on top of a broken heart caused by him, and the kids too bearing his DNA and genes. Kang Ho should have let Mijoo murder him. He had affirmed that he indeed did deserve it.

But there was Mijoo waking up next to him every day with a bright smile, holding him tighter and closer to her. Tracing his face, peppering him with kisses, giving him so much love that his heart constricted at times thinking about it all. He was convinced that he must be the luckiest man on earth. He had the love of a women like Mijoo and two wonderful kids. He must've done something right. That accident not so long ago felt indeed like an opportunity from god. An opportunity that granted him his mother, the love of his life and these two amazing little lives that he fathered but had no knowledge of.

He had just set away everything after lunch and now sat on the sofa awaiting Mijoo to come back from her Nail Shop. He thought back to the past hour. He had spent a good time setting Yejin and Seojin to study after much pleading and promises of playing later. He fondly thought back to the hearty meal he had prepared for his kids: No kid of his was studying on an empty stomach. He had done enough of that. He knew if they fell asleep it would be another opportunity to carry them, hold them closer to him, to tuck them in. He was painfully aware of the various moments of his children's life that he had missed. If there's one thing his revenge had cost him it was this. He was never getting back those seven years to raise his kids or to help Mijoo out. It was a blow to his stomach each time, taking the wind out of him. There was so much he had missed so much he wanted to make up for.

Mijoo walked in amongst these many thoughts. He got up only to be immediately hugged by Mijoo. She buried her face in the his shirt a tell tale sign she was tired. He quickly embraced her back, tightening his grip around her while a hand went up to caress her tied up hair.

'Long day?'

'Mhmm. Where are the kids?'

'Studying.' He said pressing a kiss to the side of her head. 'Do you wanna talk about it? Did somebody try something again?' he said tensing up slightly.

'Ani. I just- I think I just missed you. There were a lot of custoners which is great but there was no one at my window to make me smile, or to offer me a kiss.' she said looking up at him with a pout

He smiled at her lovingly. 'Chincha (Really)? Let me fix that.' He leaned in to kiss a smiling Mijoo. His hand finding it's place at the nape of her neck, his other hand at the small of her back. His kisses embraced her, Mijoo thought. She could feel light headed just by having him around. But having him kiss her made her lose all sense of time or tiredness . She just knew him in that moment. His lips, his hands, his love. And it was all hers. Just for her. Only she could see and experience this side of Kang Ho.

'Is that better?' He asked pulling away.

'Its no fun without making other people feel awkward. Should I call the kids?' Mijoo said with a shimmer in her eyes reminiscing all the times people would make faces at them during those blissful days of happiness in Seoul.

'Speaking of the kids...' Kang Ho suddenly turned solemn, pulling away slightly. His thoughts had been burdening him. And his recent voyage into his thoughts had made him realize the apology he had promised was long over due. 'Mijooya... I told you I'll come apologise to you and I told you not to forgive me until that point.'

'Kang Ho ya...' Mijoo began but Kangho motioned his head no, indicating that she should let him finish.

'Let me say this. It's been a few weeks since we've been living together and Mijoo I - every time I can't believe you choose to stay with me. Mijoo ya bien. I'm sorry for leaving you when you were pregnant. I'm sorry for the way I left you. I'm sorry for not giving you a way out. I'm sorry for not reaching out to you. For not checking in with you, for not helping you raise our kids. I'm sorry for not being there for you or the kids. I'm sorry for not providing for them. I- I'm sorry for breaking your heart in the worst possible way. I'm sorry.... I can't bring any of this back but I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry.'

He felt his eyes getting moist by the time he finished. But he had never felt his heart in more pain. He wanted no needed Mijoo to know of the shame, guilt and pain he carried every single day inside him. 'I can only hope you forgive me but Mijoo ya if you don't.... I - I.....' He found he couldn't finish. He knew if Mijoo told him to go he would but the thought of that acute pain he had felt 7 years ago shot back to him like a pang. He held his head low shutting his eyes tightly letting go of that god awful memory and the prayers he had made. How stupid had he been thinking he could live with Mijoo hating him, with Mijoo forgetting him. That night he had seen her with another man had ripped his whole existence out of his being. How stupid was he? He had lost so much over the past 7 years.

Anyone who had known them would have told Kangho that this was all useless. Mijoo had already chosen him. Apologies were pointless. There was no other way for her. KangHo had agonised over this excessively over the past few weeks. The thought that he took Mijoo for granted sickened him. The only women who stayed with him during the darkest time of his life. He wouldn't dare to second guess her importance in his life. They would both die for each other he knew it but neither wouldn't let the other do so. To think that maybe he and Mijoo had bought each other down was something that saddened him further. They had always chosen each other. He wanted this to be no different. He didn't care of the agony he had to endure as long as it kept Mijoo happy. He'd be happily obsessed with Mijoo all her life. At a distance or close beside her.

Mijoo cupped Kangho's face with both her hand and gently guided his face up to meet her eyes. He looked up at her, a tear making it's way down his face. But he was greeted with a smile. It was as if Mijoo understood everything he had been thinking. But he hadly dared hoped. He had left their fate completely in her hands.

'KangHo ya, Gwenchana. (it's okay)' She smiled at him. 'If you had let me talk earlier I would have saved you the entire apology. Knagho ya I'd be stupid to have known you all your life but not be able to see the pain and hurt in your eyes every single day. Sure we can't bring back those moments but tell me what good is there putting ourselves in more pain. Why don't we just live our lives as happily as possible? Mhm? You apologise and feel this guilt because you truly love me. And if you didn't know already I love you too Paboya.' she looked up at him his face breaking into a slight smile. She placed a kiss as soft and reassuring as the ones he had placed there numerous times to calm her down. She pulled away to see the secretly-guarded-from-the-world KangHo smile.

' Panbo aniyo. (I'm not a fool.)' he said sniffling softly.

'Ofcourse.' Mijoo laughed 'This is a chance given from above right?'

He looked at her long and hard, mustering all the love his heart could 'It is indeed' he said placing another kiss on her lips. 'Geunde (but) you should still beat me to reduce some of that frustration. Here I'll make myself defenseless.'

'Kang Ho ya' Mijoo said sweetly 'I'd be on my guard of I were you. One more time you talk about apologies and I'll hit you hard okay, huh?' Kangho saw her hand had been raised.

'Araso. Understood' he said bringing his hands up to his face to defend himself.

At that moment the door behind them opened. Yejin and Seojin ran out 'Eomma!!' Mijoo hugged them tightly placing a kiss on both of their heads. Mijoo's adoring questions of how have you been all went unanswered as Seojin asked 'Are we having a fight. Appa had his hands raised. Who are we fighting? Are you practicing? Is it Samsik Samchon?'

Mijoo down on the group with Yejin and Seojin, with perfect access to the pillows on the Sofa said, 'Mhmm we are having a fight. It's a pillow fight! Attack Appa!!' and with that she hit the first blow to KangHo with her pillow.

The next hour was a frenzy of pillows being thrown around. It started of as the kid and Mijoo vs KangHo but turned into girls vs boys at one point. At the end they all lay there laughing and panting on a pile of soft pillows. Mijoo lay on KangHo's arm as Yejin and Seojin recalled some of the finer moments of the chaotic battle. She saw KangHo listen to them aptly. Interjecting, exclaiming in the perfect moments. Carrying the conversation beautifully. She alway knew he'd be a great dad. She was so glad she got to witness it and live this life with him.

As Yejin and Seojin argued about something she called his attention towards her: 'Ya. This was a good way to blow off some of my steam on you.'

Kang Ho laughed heartily kissing her temple said; "I'll gladly be your punching bag any day."

It was one of Choi Family's many best days that they would remember fondly for a very long time.

This is an attempt to fill in the gaps for my sanity. I think the timeline would be a while after Young Soons funeral. Like a few 2-3 ish months maybe. They've started living together. KangHo has somewhat moved on from his mother's loss and into his new life and role. I think he lived with the guilt but we couldn't see it so well translated on the screen due to the lack of scenes. There also very less ownership from KangHo so I tried to fit that in as well. I think realizations like this come on random moments and very ordinary instances. While I would love to write another story of a very in depth conversation they have late at night, I'm really happy with the way this has turned out.This is an attempt to fill in the gaps for my sanity. I think we didn't get alot of KangHo perspective and ownership so I tried to add that. I've tried to keep it as realistic to the story line as possible.

Please interact and leave comments! 🌻 Would love to hear what you think!