#kalixus

[dadukos-arc]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄   /   ft. @kalixus​. st. peter’s bar, ashford, ca. march 28th, 4:32 pm. 

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄, 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃, had found a way to begin repeating itself. even now, even here: in the thick of a so-called new beginning. it had done so discreetly, sneaking up on her not with the tightening of a noose or an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia: her routine had settled in gently, comfortable almost, like a blanket, like a well rehearsed line that somehow always got the laugh. behind the counter of st. peter’s, freddie dawson reinvented herself as the patron saint of purgatory and stood among bottles and glasses, as she had for the past four years or so. waltzing up and down her path like a guardian well acquainted with her kingdom: patrons would gesture for whiskey, for sherry, and once or twice entice her creativity with a cocktail she hadn’t been able to try her hand at yet, and she would smile, crack a joke, dutifully head towards her task as if that, too, was a test meant to prove her belonging to such a place. she would pour this and that, and take whatever conversation they were willing to produce with grace, like an offering to an altar: looks like rain, doesn’t it ? sure does, ned —— it’s about time. it all went along predictably, a script she knew by heart — only the weather still presented its fair share of variability. and though this dull life was peaceful to her, and she’d caught herself calling it shelter more than once, freddie surprised herself when the smell of a gathering storm came in through the door, and she caught herself harboring a nervous excitement at the prospect.

the gentleman who’d carried it with him, upon opening the door to st. peter’s, seemed tall enough to have to crouch through the entrance — or perhaps it was just her imagination, drawing cartoonish details where there were none, drawing a light grin from her lips where there was no amusement. the motions were mechanical, these too aptly rehearsed: she’d put down her glass of water, wipe her hands, step closer to the bar top. “ just in time, uh ? ”. freddie nodded towards the windows, where the stained glass couldn’t hide the wind picking up, streetlamps trembling, and the thickening darkness of clouds gathering up above. but the shadow of mesmerized concern crossed her face only briefly: step four in the usual routine was a smile, reassuring any lost soul who’d wandered in st. peter’s that they’d stumbled into the right place. nevermind their ailments, the scars. she saw one on his face, across the bridge of his nose: if this was a book, she thought briefly, that’d be the passing detail introducing a major character. the unwilling hero of the story, marked for tragedy from the very first page. fred smiled. “ hi. what can i do ya for ? ”. 

[stfredsa]

EXTRA INCORRECT QUOTE MEME that is totally not canon but had to be made anyway ft. @indizien / @kalixus / @perdefinitio / @demottcm / @asynjja.

[asynjja]

posted as per @stfreds explicit’s order and titled ‘ a normal day ’

[corpatrem]

❛  look  at  you ,   having  ideas !  ❜ to peter , from kal 🧡💢 - @kalixus​

there is a tested breath that peter draws in order to keep himself calm. it wouldn’t do anybody any good ( least of all him ) if his blood pressure rose before nine in the goddamned morning. florence would then keep urging him to take his meds for said high blood pressure, and peter andrews was a man of principle, if nothing else. 

he doesn’t dignify the young man with a response. usually a man of very few words in the first place, peter practically goes mute and mysteriously unresponsive whenever kal decided to pay a visit -- which, in recent weeks had start to become more frequent. knows why, of course, and his eyes flicker over to a particular bartender who was currently placing an order for new stock. and as mute and as unresponsive as he could get, one could also say that peter also gave out a bit of a...helicopter-parent vibe in these very specific times. god, does he wish he was still working at the family ranch in times like these. this sort of back-talk and uppity comments wouldn’t have even dared be thought, and a hard day’s work usually meant he didn’t have to interact with people.

sat at the far end of the bar where he could directly oversee what was going on in his bar, the older man was perturbed when kal decided to sit right next to him when there was clearly more than enough space to sit anywhere else.

scoffs, shoulders rigid as he continues scrawling illegible notes onto his notepad ( illegible to everyone except for himself and occasionally his wife. ) when fred’s new beau still does not vacate his seat, peter will finally look up, shooting him an unresponsive stare. 

                             “ you’re startin’ to give me the impression that either you don’t have a job, or you got a problem. ain’t you got somewhere t’be in the mornin’ ‘sides a bar? ”

[galaeus]

🚬 six foot four

send me your muses height and see what they’d look like standing next to each other. / @kalixus

[xiiaoshuo]

17 , la’akea clutches his hand tightly around kalix’s mouth to silence him.

ask games : 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓉𝓈

in all the years that la’akea had been alive , he had never felt strength rush through him the way it does now . with his kids’ lives on the line , he grips kalix’s jaw with all the power he has to keep it shut && muffle any sounds that might come out .

the most important thing — the only thing — had been making sure that ehukai && kiana were safe . all else was secondary && la’akea’s first instinct had been to send them into the woods . it feels insane ( && la’akea definitely had an out of body experience as he sent them on their way ) , but he knows it’s the best choice . the town might be crawling with them now , keeping an eye out for two very tall men that would be hard to miss . the two knew the woods , ehukai better than anyone else && he knows that he’d take care of kiana . 

( he better or else he’d never hear the end of it from la’akea , no matter where he ends up ) .

then there were two && they had to plan out their next moves carefully . la’akea knew that all this was because of kalix yet , he knew leaving him behind wasn’t a choice either . not the right one && la’akea refused to be haunted by a decision so obvious to him . so he had stayed behind with kalix , trusting that his sheer determination to see his kids again will pull him through to the other side .

they had given the kids a head start before exiting through the back of the house . it feels like the obvious out && it’s the one they need to draw their pursuers’ eyes . la’akea easily zigged && zagged up the steep hillside , glancing over his shoulder occasionally at kalix . he knew a big guy like him will likely be fine , but he still worries him ( he still remembers how he looked when they first met ) . 

when they summit the first cliff face , la’akea thinks they’ve lost them , spotting the rustling in the brush below . it felt safe , it feels like they’re making the right progress . it should have been an easy straight shot up along a trail path marked only in la’akea’s mind . but one wrong turn && an unfamiliar form in the woods && la’akea knows the path is no longer clear . pushed against a rock face , he holds kalix close ( near tenderly ) && his mouth shut ( near homicidal ) as he tries to listen over the roar of his own heartbeat for footsteps in the wood . though he’d help kalix , the man would not be the reason his children would become orphans .

[herends]

incoming:  💣 💼 😡 🐢 , each for matt & beth!   —— from @kalixus​.

💣   /    a stress headcanon —— ok so the thing about matt is, she feels a lot of stress — all the time. it was part of her before the world ended, and yet somehow the end of the world put a lid on it, some. thing is, when stress gets real high, she needs to be doing something. something methodical that will require her mind to focus and will allow her to feel like she’s actively doing something ( feeling powerless amplifies the stress, overwhelms her and renders her almost entirely useless. nothing will set her off more than people telling her ‘leave it alone, we got this’ ). with a few trusted people, talks can help too —— talking at length, openly, about whatever’s stressing her and weighing options in a rather cold, analytical way, that helps her rationalize issues and tackle them with a clearer mind, but it can only be with people she really trusts and whose opinions she values. there’s a secret rank of respect by which she judges people and anyone below an eight simply doesn’t get to speak to her about anything serious.

💼   /   a work headcanon —— having worked almost all her life, it’s hard for her to just... lie around. that’s why she began working on whatever was needed in atlas from the very first day in the camp. be it looking after the injured, putting up barricades or fixing the beds, she got to work straight away and never rejected a single task that was asked of her. even now that she’s “running” the whole operation, whenever there’s need of an extra pair of hands matt is first in line ( unless of course, the task required a specific skillset she’s lacking ).  of all the jobs in atlas, she mostly appreciates those that involve building / construction of any sorts.

😡   /    an anger headcanon —— yeah, it’s safe to say you don’t wanna see her angry. she’s not loud, or violent, or aggressive: but she can be cruel. she tends to be a rather keen observer, she might not be able to know all about a person upon first glance, but she’s capable of figuring out what will hurt them, what will truly set them off, and she’s not afraid to use this ability when she gets really, really angry. the thing is, it’s hard to get her truly angry: she can lose her patience, but anger is a really dark emotion for her, and not one she’s particularly familiar with. she’s aware of the effect it has on her, and doesn’t like it, it actually frightens her. it’s safe to say that the relationship between matt and anger is a dangerous dynamic at best: volatile, damaging and potentially toxic for her as much as it could be for the subjects of her anger.

🐢   /   a mental health headcanon —— therapist wanted asap. no, for real, she needs to talk to someone. she used to be more open once, but losing her brother first, and then the apocalypse, really put a strain on her ability to verbalize her emotions, her fears and her doubts. she tends to keep everything inside until it becomes dangerous ( read: her issues with anger ), although even having a professional available is no guarantee that she would open up —— se tends to be extremely distrustful of people in general, but shrinks above all.

💣   /    a stress headcanon ——  beth lives in a condition of perpetual stress by now, although one could argue this began way before andrew’s death. the truth of it, beth’s probably better off when she’s stressed —— there’s some sort of flaw in her code that urges her to remain in some constant state of fight in order to work, to be effective, most of all to feel worthy of, well, being alive. this also mirrors itself in her relationships, her friendships and her dynamics with her colleagues —— they’re mostly based on more or less playful degrees of conflict, bickering, play-fighting and light bullying. calm doesn’t suit her, rest freaks her out, actually stresses her more than the generally accepted notion of stress. 

💼   /   a work headcanon ——  she first said she wanted to become a cop when she was five, asked for a police badge at christmas that year, and by the time she was 10 every teacher knew she was obsessed with the idea of becoming a cop. she met her fair share of resistence, although lately most of it has been coming from her own questioning —— current events and her own experience in seeing the corruption within the force first caused her dream to begin to crack, and right now she’s stuck in a sort of impasse. not feeling quite at ease with her uniform but also believing it to allow her a privileged position for looking into andrew’s death and, generally, a lot of shady shit that would stay covered without the more morally decent cops like her. she’s considered resigning at least a couple times, lately —— the sad thing is, she doesn’t see herself doing anything else. her entire identity was forged around the idea of becoming a cop: frankly, she’s not sure what will be left when that uniform is stripped off of her.

😡   /    an anger headcanon ——  beth tends to lose her temper a lot. she’s more acquainted with rage than anger —— she will lash out, be visibly angry, become a bit impulsive and lose control a little. anger is different. anger is a sort of fuel for beth. it keeps her going, it motivates her —— when it comes to her looking into andrew’s death it’s not really the need for justice that keeps her going, because either way it’s not gonna fix anything, andrew’s not gonna come back. it’s the anger, really. it’s that she feels anger in its entirety and it gives her energy, energy that has to be channeled into a constructive direction or else it just threatens to make her explode.

🐢   /   a mental health headcanon ——  she’s been diagnosed with P.T.S.D., even though she audibly replied ‘that’s bullshit’ when the department issued doctor first delivered her diagnosis. she struggles to recognize the signs, as she doesn’t display typical symptoms of ptsd —— she doesn’t have nightmares or flashes, doesn’t have panic attacks, doesn’t flinch when hearing gunshots. it’s mostly subtler signs that might be mistaken for something different like depression: insomnia, hypervigilance, irritability, a tendency to isolate and not trust anyone with her investigations. her mother sends her a pamphlet about therapy groups and programs about once a month —— they’ve been piled up by the door of her new york apartment, by now they’ve become tall enough to make for a chic coffee table.

HEADCANON MEME   /   accepting .

[wornguiltgone]

↳ SENDER : @kalixus​  “ i think your neighbors heard the whole thing. ”

arguing with logan had become their normal these days, especially after everything that happened between her and dominic. as much as aaliyah wished things could go back to normal, she was painfully aware of how unlikely that was. he was so determined to catch dominic and make him suffer for what he did to aaliyah that he didn’t realize how much it was all affecting her. if aaliyah had a say in it, she’d forget all about it. move on with her life. or at least, try to. of course, she knows that not a choice right now. how is she meant to move on when she has all these reminders of what happened to her? 

azure hues follow logan as he storms away, slamming the door as he steps outside to talk to colton. she clenches her jaw, moving towards the kitchen table where her purse was. pulling out a cigarette, she placed it between her lips before hearing what the other man said. she doesn’t know who he is, just that he’s been around her brothers a lot. maybe he’s helping them find dominic. she lights the cigarette, inhaling before blowing the smoke in the other direction, holding the cigarette between her fingers. “well, they’ve heard a lot worse.”

[dadukos-arc]

also for spy au …∗ 55﹕ sender  and  receiver  cross  paths  late  at  night . &. ∗ 39﹕ sender  is  caught  following  receiver . &. ∗ 61﹕ sender  cages  receiver  against  a  wall with  their  arms . &. ∗ 11﹕ sender  runs  their  fingers  through  receiver’s  hair . AND THEN. ∗ 16﹕ sender  pushes  receiver  against  a  wall  to  kiss  them .ily ty —— from : @kalixus​ .​

𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐏: there was only so much sneaking he could do. in the thick of the night, the alley suddenly seemed to flare up with his presence. ten or so seconds after she’d turned the corner fred heard him, and there was a weird sense of satisfaction that settled in, a quiet, warm feeling rising slowly inside of her. it was quite possible she’d missed him. it was quite possible he’d burrowed a place for himself beneath her skin, in a way very few, if anybody, had ever succeeded in, before — that alone should have alarmed her. instead, agent dawson walked on: and with each careful, quick step along the sidewalk, she heard it echoed by his boots along the cobblestone behind her, a rhythmic back-and-forth that soon became enticing. fred lost herself in the groove: didn’t quite ask how long it was gonna take for him to catch up, or if he even wanted to. this game seemed perfectly funny the way it was.

as she walked, she recalled the odd in-between in which they’d left things, the last time: a momentary pause of their joined efforts, just until the waters calmed a little. the controlled chaos they’d spread around their surrounding network of more or less dishonorable men should’ve been testament to their success, but fred knew better than to let her guard down, and bite off more than either of them could chew — best to keep it quiet, for a while. let them all forget about threats, then sneak in a little deeper. which was not to say she hadn’t regretted the hiatus: not just because idleness did not suite her any more, and lacking a battle to wage she was unsure who she was, what she had, if not a vast endless nothing.

but because in spite of everything, she believed they made a good team. a great one, actually — at times it felt like their minds shared a special secret code that would allow them the gift of telepathy: as they did now, when she felt him approach her right before he touched her shoulder, and could quickly turn around, grip his forearm in a lock and pin him to the wall at the side of the alley. a beat, just enough time for a smirk — he pushed again, threw her off, and within seconds she was slithering out of his grasp, but being pulled she snapped back again to the beginning and suddenly found herself back to the wall, trapped.

fred grinned.

“ getting better. ” the smirk, mischievous at first, faltered lightly. he was close, a little too much: enough that the scent of him could fill her senses. enough that she could remember the taste of his skin, and catch herself wanting more. but it wasn’t just that —— though she’d hardly employed her sharpest instincts with him, he’d still caught her. a nervous, uneasy feeling followed: muscles tensing on her back, a weird sort of anxiety brewing lightly deep within her. this made the game less funny, much trickier. and still she didn’t push — instead tilted her head slightly at his touch, almost as if to expose more of herself, and let out a sigh when she felt his hand run through her hair. part instinct, part show: let him think she could be putty. let him think she could melt.

“ just not the best yet ”. fred’s lips curled once more into a playful grin, as only a whisper left, and then let her lips touch his: hesitant first, recalling the last time, but growing hungrier by the second. hungrier for him, for his taste, for the anger he could share and match hers — and when that still wasn’t enough she bit on his lower lip, hard, and let her hand get tangled in his hair so she could push him harder against herself, her whole body against his, wanting him to know that he could have the whole of her, right then and there …

… or believe it, at least.

she hoped the gun would catch him by surprise, just as much as he had. the barrel pressed against his side, beneath his coat so he’d feel the cold steel against his skin. fred didn’t pull away, but smiled once more against his lips.

freddie cocked the gun, then moved it further down.

“ sneak up on me again, i’m blowing your balls off. ”

NONVERBAL PROMPTS   /   not accepting .

[letiferum]

❝  i’ve heard your name on the wind.  ❞  /  to lydia  ft. @kalixus​​​

1 NEW MESSAGE : AMERICAN GODS STARTERS (  accepting  )

𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙸𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙴  𝙾𝙵  𝙰  𝚆𝙷𝙸𝚃𝙴  𝙲𝙾𝙰𝚃  matched  with  cigarette  in  hand  is  both  ironic  and  somehow  still  all  too  frequent  .  a  habit  she  had  vowed  over  and  over  to  get  rid  of  ,  but  one  which  she  shamelessly  returned  to  at  the  slightest  sign  of  a  stressful  day  .  except  it  wasn’t  a  stressful  day  ,  or  week  even  ,  she’s  been  at  it  for  months  now  ever  since  the  case  opened  .  there  are  certainly  better  ways  to  manage  anxiety  ,  zander  insisted  ,  most  non  fatal  ,  but  none  that  could  possibly  beat  going  outside  and  leaning  next  to  the  garbage  for  about  twenty  minutes  every  day  .  

alas  ,  therapy  was  cut  short  .

she  scoffed  ,  not  so  much  at  what  he  had  to  say  but  rather  at  the  thought  of  her  remaining  five  minutes  were  as  good  as  over  now  .  slender  fingers  reach  for  one  last  bitter  drag  before  stubbing  the  damned  thing  against  the  metal  .        ❛      does  the  wind  mention  anything  about  a  raise  ,  by  any  chance  ?  ?  ?      ❜      her  words  came  out  like  aimless  venom  ,  striking  a  man  who  was  not  to  blame  for  her  foul  mood  .  it  took  about  a  second  or  two  before  she  realized  this  ,  she  admittedly  may  never  have  been  miss  congeniality  to  begin  with  but  this  wasn't  her  either  .      ❛      sorry  ,  that  was  .  .  .  uncalled  for  .  what  can  i  do  you  for  ?  ?  ?      ❜

[stfredsa]

INCOMING   /     oi oi 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️  —— from: @kalixus​.

RE   /   INCORRECT QUOTES MEME ( not accepting ).

[asynjja]

          # behind the scenes of rage is a quiet thing ――   endless edits of moa zhao,   featuring fred’s other two annoying bodyguards.   @kalixus / @stfreds.   cred.

[athena-thadd]

🍎

“What a dick. Fine, he has some nice qualities. He’s smart, almost as smart as me. It is nice to have someone to talk to about books. And he is good at his job. Still a dick.”

[galaeus]

“ ...you staring at my tits? ”

SPACING OUT. It happens when you’re thrust back into the limelight of a situation you sorely don’t want to be in. A job’s a job, money is money -- somewhere on the dotted line is her dignity where she cares about busting these assholes and finding a decent night’s sleep when she can close the manila folder for good. It’s kidding herself; she hasn’t found a good night’s rest in years, maybe a straight decade and then some. 

She stares through Ilias, not at his chest ( the fucking height difference even in this damn heels is ridiculous ) yet he finds a way to quip her back into present day alongside him. Echo blinks twice, once to comprehend and another to acknowledge, as her blue eyes finds his face with an instinctual scowl.

“That implies there’s something there to stare at.” And his face isn’t much better. With a shake of her head to jolt the life back into her system, she pats at his chest as she starts past him. “Don’t get too excited there, buddy.”

/ @kalixus

[lance-not-a-lot]

🎶

And the seasons // Will change us new, but you're the best I've known // And you know me, I could not not be stuck on you // If it weren't true // // I was swimming // My eyes were dark 'til you woke me // And told me that opening is just the start // It was // Now I see you 'til kingdom come you're the one I want // To see me for all the stupid shit I've done - 3 Rounds and A Sound, Blind Pilot

[xiiaoshuo]

❛ ⇀ from @kalixus — !!!

       . ✧ . * . ˚  KALIX SHUDDERED.    he tried to place the bad feeling in his stomach as he sat in the designated meeting spot.  he usually did what he could to gather intel on his employers.  some deserved a scare more than their assigned hits and well —— context helps. it always helped.  it was what gave him his edge.

       “  sardines.  ”  kalix shrugged as they sat across each other at this incredibly inconspicuous speakeasy  (  sarcasm fully intended  ) .  “  can’t stand them.  ” 

       twenty questions wasn’t exactly what he was expecting in playing this little game of chess with the other.  aelius had this way of alluding to the amount of power he held through his nonchalance , which was a rare quality in people like him.  people who saw zeros followed by commas , not decimals.  he took a sip of his drink and wondered where aelius was going with this , was this a strange game of chess or was kalix thinking too hard?  was that what aelius wanted from him?  

       kalix looked up when he heard a familiar voice.  he looked at aelius with a silent but telling expression that said  :  are you fucking serious?  he silently watched the target  sit down in a booth across the bar , but upon looking back at aelius —— he couldn’t help but make the his next question a fairly straightforward one. 

       “  what are you playing at ?  ”  this was way too far from his style.  years of taking the time to know everything about the client and the target , planning the tactics and picking a place that he could control and know everything about  ;  this place passed none of his requirements.  there was nothing about this in their agreement , if one could even call it that.  the client , the hired gun , and the target in one room with about twenty other people. 

        what the fuck is he playing at ?  

aelius ╳ ⋮  ————— IT'S NOT VERY nice to play with your food && more often than not , it's an act in asking for trouble . go slow , think smart , be efficient : those are the guiding principles && sticking your neck out there just because you think you can doesn't fall much into any of those camps . but aelius would admit that kalix required a different touch—in that he needs one at all . most hires go about their business with minimal contact : only as much as it would take to get the job done && then they'd part ways . no real names , cryptic notes disguised as shopping lists , physical cash wrapped in inconspicuous amazon packages . no trail , no evidence beyond circumstantial && aelius has a handful of his own people on the inside to make sure it stays that way . 

but aelius would admit : kalix is a wild card dealt in a hand he's never seen before . && he has a feeling the others gathered at the table have already familiarized themselves with the kind of plays he'd make , so it was time to get a little creative .

the twenty questions were more to pass the time && give the crowd here time to forget about them . after all , aelius isn't so foolish as to not notice that they were an odd pair but given enough time , they'd become background scenery , too . the questions were also to get under kalix's skin—mostly for no other reason that he wanted to && to remind kalix that he could . meeting here , aelius could already sense that kalix is getting skittish on him , which is a double-edged sword he’s trying not to fall on . he appreciates the respect , he doesn't know what that fear might push him to recklessly do .

positioned like he is , aelius sees the target walk in long before kalix does but nothing about his body language suggests that he does . he lets kalix spot them on his own && he gives his drink a half-hearted mix.

“ that's number twenty-one . ” he lets the black stirrer fall from his fingers , now drifting slowly in the swirling liquor of the glass . “ seems like you're out of questions   . ” – [ 💸 ]