#kakanshi angst

[gravityunforgiven]

Right Where You Left Me (Kakashi x OC)

Pairings: Kakashi x OC, Jiraiya x Tsunade

Synopsis:

She was the daughter of a Legendary Sannin, He, a son of a disgraced shinobi. Fate brought them together but life tore them apart. Will they be able to take control of their destinies and find their way back to each other?

...Or will they be another victim of the cruel shinobi world they are both a part of?

Chapter Six

Akira has been taking it easy in the ANBU the past few months before it happened. She had previously shared her plans to retire from the ANBU to Kakashi and he was more than relieved. After years of countless dangerous missions and wondering if it was the last they would see each other, Akira had enough. It was time to stop and move on. He promised her he would follow suit a few months later.

They can be just regular Jōnins or even Jōnin-sensei if they really wanted to and they’ll settle down in the village and start their life together.

Kakashi never thought that he would actually consider settling down at such a young age. In all honesty, he never thought that he was the kind of person who will settle down. After losing every person he ever loved, having a family of his own was his greatest fear.

But he could see it now, a little boy with his hair and her eyes running around the house they built together. He could see a life with her.

He wanted a life with her.

They say that grief is the price we pay for love.

And true enough, Kakashi paid the highest price possible. The last time he saw her was in their apartment. She was still half-asleep on her side of the bed when he kissed her cheek goodbye. He was pulled into an urgent mission as a substitute earlier that morning. His question had to wait for another day.

“Come back to me.” She mumbled, locking her arms around his neck and pulling him back to her.

Her hands gently danced across his silver hair. He could hear her heart beating against his ear. It was loud and strong, a little too fast than a regular person like him but he had gotten used to it.

He knew all the the little things about her. Every insignificant detail people would usually dismiss. He loves every single one of the endlessly.

“Always.” He wrapped his arms around her waist as he settled in her warm embrace. His heartbeat slowed.

She was his home. He would follow her everywhere, do anything for her. He would bleed himself dry if she asked him to.

She was his world.

They laid in each others arms for a moment.

They were in their own little world, blinded by their dreams of their tomorrow.

“I could stay. Call in sick.” He thoughtlessly offered.

“No, you can’t.” She pouted. He absolutely cherished moments like these with her. Their playful banters that goes nowhere, having her in his arms. She always manages to make his heart skip a beat and he wondered how he could be so lucky to have her.

Kakashi lifted his head and looked at her. “Watch me.” He pressed his unmasked lips against hers. Akira’s arms instinctively found their way around his neck and pulled him even closer.

It was an innocent kiss that was slowly starting to become something more than they were prepared for.

Kakashi pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavy. He didn’t want to cross that line yet until he can call her his wife.

“I need to go.” His says in defeat.

“You do.” She agreed, sadly.

He kissed her for the last time by the door of their place before heading out.

Kakashi’s mission that was supposed to last for only three days stretched into a whole entire week. When he returned to their flat, a single note on the table awaited him.

She was pulled into an urgent mission. Her last as an ANBU, she wrote. She asked him to wait for her together with a promise to have an answer to his question.

When her mission was nearing the 14th day, Kakashi finally had enough and decided to pay the Hokage a visit. It was unusual to ask information about another mission especially if it was an ANBU team that was sent but Kakashi had been worried sick about Akira’s well-being. He knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but still, not having a letter from her for this long was no way normal.

The Hokage assured Kakashi that everything was fine and the person Akira’s team was chasing just happened to have a lot of tricks up his sleeve and is turning out to be a real nuisance for all parties involved. This new information did not help ease Kakashi’s mind at all, in fact, it made hime even more worried than he already is.

Akira is a natural in the art of tracking. The best in their ranks. Her sense of smell was sharper than himself or any of his ninkens combined, and with her own pack of wolves at her side, she was easily considered to be the best tracker in any of the five villages. For them to be taking this long, the person they were looking for must be incredibly skilled.

Kakashi reached an ultimatum when an entire month had passed. Three days. If she was not back in three days, he would formally reauest the Hokage for permission to go after them and join their team.

That was no longer necessary though, because two days later, Kakashi Hatake was summoned to the Hokage’s office.

She was gone. Dead.

They said her team was ambushed. She was strong enough to save her entire team but not enough to save herself. She was an ANBU. She shouldn’t have done that. The mission comes first not her comrades.

And it did. The mission succeed but her life became the price for it.

The funeral took place two days later but Kakashi was nowhere to be found.

Their friends had gathered for the traditional ceremony but even his shadow was not seen.

He remained curled up on her bed that they have shared for the past year.

She was just nineteen. She had her whole life ahead of her.

But every night for the next eight years, he dreamt about her. He dreamt about the times they shared together, the long sleepless nights spent in each other’s arms, day dreaming about their future together.

In his dreams, her back still molded perfectly against his chest, his nose still buried in her hair and the scent of lavender pleasantly took over his sense of smell. In these dreams, their fingers were still interlocked with each other and gently rising up and down from her even breathing.

breathing.

She was still breathing in his dreams, her warmth still surrounded him. She was the only one who can make him feel that he was home.

Even after he wakes up to his harsh reality.

Alone.

In his apartment he shared with no one, Kakashi could almost feel her again in his arms and there was nothing anyone could do to help ease his grief.

His eyes darted across the room to his closet. that housed the last remaining piece that he has of Akira. Her dress. The last reminder of their what ifs and what should have beens between them.

She was going to marry him in that dress. It would have been in the fall -her favorite season- under her tree, Jiraiya would walk her down the aisle and their friends would be there too, wondering how their relationship slipped right past their nose.

It would have been perfect.

But none of that happened. Instead of a kiss that would seal their life together, a gravestone took its place.

—————

Jiraiya took the mission upon himself to bring Tsunade the grave news. He thought that it was his duty as Tsunade’s friend and Akira’s Godfather to deliver the message of her death. He couldn’t bear the thought of Tsunade hearing about this from the mandatory letter from the Hokage given to the family of those who had died in battle.

Tsunade deserved to hear it from him.

In all honesty, he had absolutely no idea how he would break the news to Tsunade. How does he tell her that the last person in her family had once again laid down their life in the name of the village? And as if the situation wasn’t already bad enough, this time there was no body to mourn for.

The child they both love more than their own life disappeared as if she had never existed in the first place. All that was left of her were the memories and relationships that she had forged during the unfairly short time she lived.

Jiraiya as ashamed of himself on how he could have let this happen. He swore numerous times how he would protect her with his own life and yet here he was. Delivering the news of her fate to her mother.

He never had children of his own but he loved Akira more than his own life. He never thought he could possibly love someone more than Tsunade but Akira was the daughter he never had. From the moment he first laid eyes on her, he knew she may not be his blood and flesh but she was her daughter. There was no questioning that. The pain of loosing was something he had never experienced in his lifetime. Jiraiya couldn’t imagine what Tsunade would feel having to go through all this pain again and again.

It took Jiraiya an unusually short amount of time to track down Tsunade. It usually takes him weeks if not months to even get a hint of her whereabouts, but this time, however, in the most ironic and cruelest way, it only took him a matter of days before he found himself sitting across Tsunade in her room with a bottle of sake to share with.

Tsunade’s eyes lit up the moment she saw her old friend. She quickly expressed her delight about meeting her daughter only a few short weeks ago. Jiraiya’s heart broke for Tsunade as she told him her plans for them knowing it was never going to happen. Tsunade had been paying off all her debts and putting her life back on track as she had finally decided to return to the Hidden Leaf and settle down with her daughter. She was going to be there for her this time.

Jiraiya could see the hope and excitement glistening in Tsunade’s eyes as she spoke about Akira and their future.

Out of the hundreds of missions he had completed, this was definitely the hardest of them all.

“Tsunade.” Jiraiya spoke, finally having the courage to at least start somewhere. He wished Tsunade had seen more of what Akira was like. He wished she had more time with her.

“She was so kind, Jiraiya.” Tsunade continued, not missing a single beat. “And so beautiful. Does she still live in our old house? Or did she get a place of her own. Did you know she’s seeing someone from the village? Is he a shinobi too? I hope he isn’t.”

“Did Akira tell you why she was there?” He asked. It was a simple question. Innocent even. There was no need to suspect that something had gone terribly wrong. Unfortunately, Tsunade knew him a little too well than he thought.”

“She was on a mission.” Her tone changed. A tad bit darker.

“She was on a mission.” Jiraiya agreed. “It was to observe and report, gather intelligence from an un-identified group. The Five Villages personally chose the members of their team.”

“Jiraiya…” Tsunade’s voice was shaky.

“They ran into some problems…”

“No.” She told herself. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not to her kid.

Tsunade knew what Jiraiya was going to say. She can’t hear that again. She stood up in disbelief and began pacing around the room. Jiraiya followed her suit.

“I’m sorry, Tsuna.” He said. He knew that she knows.

“No!” She yelled, looking at him. Wide hazel eyes filling with tears. “She’s not dead! She was- she was here. She was just here, Jiraiya. I saw her. I talked to her.”

Tsunade denied the truth presented to her, but she knew deep down, it was all true. Jiraiya wouldn’t lie, not about this. She was filled with anger and despair and hatred. For the village, for herself, for whoever Gods was above.

She was just absolutely broken.

Jiraiya had to close his eyes as a heart-wrenching wail escaped from Tsunade’s lips. He knew a part of her died with Akira as it did with him.

He caught Tsunade in his arms as her knees buckled. All he could do was let her cry, and scream and scratch him all she want. He let her curse the world and all the people in it for taking all the people she had ever loved and cared for.

Her brother, her beloved, and now, her one and only child.

Life has never been easy for any of the shinobis. It was the curse of their profession but the cruelness of taking Tsunade’s only daughter just when she had decided to start over was something no one, even the worst person in the world, ever deserves to go through.

None of them were ever the same again after she left.

—————

I know it’s been a sad couple of chapters but I sweat HOPE IS IN THE HORIZON. I just had to lay down all of the emotions the people Akira left because I just really do think that losing someone close really affects how a person becomes in the future especially if it was so unexpected like in Akira’s case.

That was such an important aspect for me that I felt like I needed to write.

Next chapter would be a little time skip where Tsunade and Kakashi meets.

P.S. Sorry I was away for quite a while. School really took all my time and my mental health really detoriated in the last few weeks but I’m good now and updates would once again be regular too. Thank you to all who are still reading this book and supporting it all through out.

And lastly, reblogs and reviews are most welcome too!