#k but look they were about liking someone and not being able to tell them because your scared!! I also didn’t know how to talk to people or

[okcoolthanks]

Rlly making a mistake listening to the playlist an old friend made me

[keen-li]

Merry!Ex-mas.

18+ MDNI

22.k words synopsis: you get a notification about plane tickets you purchased about a trip you were excited for, only reason you're not excited at the remainder, is because you had planned the trip with your now ex. At the time you never thought you'd be spending December broken up. So, it felt like a great idea. not so much now. ex!jk x ex!femreader (fem anatomy.) exes to lovers use of 'yn' warnings: angst, fluff, smut: long-distance relationship, exes, second chance, miscommunication, b*tches is awkward, tension, one bed, forced proximity, Jungkook isn't crazy rich but he's got good money, i think he's an accountant, jk has that short ceo hair cut. reader has communication problem, jungkook's freaking green sweater needs it's own fanfic!, think are!you!sure jungkook. protective!jk, there's a creep who approaches reader as jungkook is off skiing, and whilst she's in the sauna(nothing bad happens.), sweet!wants!to!try!jk, jk has issues of not communicating too. they just can't seem to talk. avoiding stuff. teasing. touchy!jk, secret glances. jealousy, reader is very jealous,they're lying to themsleves, jungkook loves to take pictures especially of reader. hot tub jungkook who's looking up at you like you're a goddes. very needy kissing, boob sucking, dirty talking, oral(f!receiving.), handjob, cowgirl, protected!penetration, aftercare. hand kissing. [i don't know what else i need to add, let me know] as per usual, it was edited but if there are any errors, forgive me. A/N: this fic is honestly cause of that Jungkook green sweater I've never travelled to please don't come at me if anything is wrong. I very much world built some things. I've given written from top to bottom so don't except a part 2, unless maybe drabble requests. I wrote this in one week and i'm so proud i was able to write 22k words, in that time. though i was supposed to go up on the 25th[shhhhhh] A/N: i'm still learning how to write smut. so if you think the smut is cringe please don't tell me :) i don't wanna know. unless you want to help me improve it, and you do it kindly, i'd appreciate. likes, reblog, and all positive asks and comments are always appreciated. i hope you're happy with this one. [read under the cut]

You get the notification as you're scrolling through your phone. A remainder of sorts that you had been forgetting something. Cause you had been.

It loomed over you all week. The lingering feeling of remembering what you can’t. You hated it. But now that you know it’s source you couldn’t feel any worse.

Being the recipient of the message, you’re burdened with having to translate the message. Why do you have to do this? Broken up, having to text him feels like opening a can of worms. But the tickets are non-refundable, and it would be unfair for you to not inform him. You did both pay for them, Jungkook of course paying more because he was just too stubborn to split. he'd actually wanted to pay for the full thing but you were at odds with the idea. he settled eventually.

So, it would be unfair to not tell him. Right? Yes. But you don’t want to believe it.

Even if how the hell are you going to remind your ex about the holiday trip you planned thinking you’d be together for; but in turn would celebrate separately. Before the notification of the trip.

To add on, now you have to open your chat. An action you dread to do; for your emotional health.

What are you actually going to say? You think, finger hovering over the keyboard. Something that won’t make you sound like you’ve missed him, were thinking about him or even thinking about going on this trip with him. All which you’ve been doing. You’ve succumb to the thoughts, only because you two broke up in October, still relatively early to just forget a 3-year relationship with someone you thought you’d marry.

Sigh.

You still haven’t answered the question of how you’re even gonna bring it up. Will he even answer?

“shibal” jimin laughs into the speaker, not helping you one bit. “you two are ridiculous.”

You roll your eyes still waiting and hoping he’ll say something sensible. It’s all in vain. “How the hell do you book a trip and break up just before. You couldn’t wait?” He laughs and you just know he’s sat at his computer playing games, from his loud and unfocused speech.

“We didn’t freaking know we’d breakup.” You justify. “Plus, cause of the breakup we forgot. I forgot.” Your voice loses its strength at the end of the sentence, your mind slipping into a deep thought.

You haven’t been able to remember anything of relevance since that day. Maybe only how to breath and live but you’d say your body takes full credit for that.

“Hmm.” is all he says to you before screaming obscenities to someone in his game.

“Jimin are you gonna be of any help or wh-”

“You know what you should do?”

You want to believe his following statement will be of use, but you can never be certain.

“Just send it” he groans from what you assume is an attack on him. Your brow raises. “Send him a screenshot of the notification. If he doesn’t respond go on it on your own.”

“Or take me with you” he whispers. If it came to it, would you even choose jimin to go with? Probably. He’d help make it fun.

You sigh, still in the darkest of analysis. It’s your best option what else could you say. So, you say your goodbye to jimin who is quick to go off to his game, without a second thought. Rude. Talking to him whilst he’s on his game is setting yourself up.

Back to having a staring contest with your phone. And after a long while of panic, thump fidgeting and dry eyes, you click on his contact (yes you still have it.) and just send the screenshot.

As you wait to make sure the picture is sent you catch a glimpse of the last text from your chat. You were avoiding slipping up and seeing it, but your eyes couldn’t be helped.

Jungkook was the last to text.

Kookie<3: I miss you call me back.

Seeing the text makes your stomach churn. Makes your head spin with all the memories and emotions returning. You don’t want to linger on it. You’re quick to just sending the screenshot like jimin said, you only hope he doesn’t ask too many questions. If he does respond. The little thought in your head surfaces. What if he wants nothing to do with you. What if you’re bothering him? You shouldn’t have sent that text. But it’s too late now.

You’re well aware his message was sent before you had broken up. The only reason you hadn’t replied was because you couldn’t. On the same day you’d called him back and told him how you didn’t think you’d be able to do it anymore.

“Mm?” he hums confused. You can hear it in his voice and it only makes you even more nervous to repeat.

“This long-distance thing isn’t working for us jungkook.” You bite you lower lip hoping to hide some of your emotions that threaten to ruin your speech. Your fingers fidget in the silence waiting for his response. But it never comes and for a moment you think he’s cut the call and you’ve been talking to yourself. That’s when he sighs, showing you, he’s been listening but too shocked to speak.

You calling his full name, no nickname, strains at his heart. “Are you serious?” it’s calm, sad even. Of course he’s sad, you’re breaking up with him. Sad isn’t even strong enough to describe what he’s feeling. Shock is just amongst them, maybe even a little anger. You’ve been going through a challenging period because of the difference in cities. But he never thought it’d come to this. Was it that bad?

“Yeah.” It’s weak defeated. You are, your whole relationship is.

Jungkook is awfully silent, he’s not sure why either. “Is there anything I can do?” he’s aware of the only solution available. But it’s not possible. Neither of your work will allow the other to move.

You shake your head like he can see it. but he doesn’t need to see what your silence has already said.

After not much thought cause he’s not able to, he speaks. “Is this what you want?” his question only serves to add to your confusion.

“You know it’s not but- “you try to speak but the lump in your throat chokes you.

It hurts him that this is happening over a call. Wishes he could’ve spoken about it in person, cause there’s more to it.

More that you haven’t spoken about. Never have, and doubt you ever will or want to.

All this just makes the idea of this trip even more worrying. That’s if he’ll want to go or even respond. You never got to know what he thought but you assume he has some sort of resentment for the way you ended things. You would too. That’s one of the things you feel guilty for.

You’ll say the way things ended was not ideal, and honestly it never made you feel good as you thought it would. It made you feel worse actually. But at least now you don’t argue because you don’t talk. Who are you kidding, you miss the arguments, something to remind he was there.

Guilt hovers but, you console yourself by saying that he probably wanted it too if he didn’t try to fight for it. Which is unfair, but what else can you tell yourself as an excuse.

Your focus is now on your screen. You’re about to exit the chat, but then those familiar popups of bubbles appear. Already?

The bubbles disappear and appear, which only serves to grow your anxiety. Is he about to rebuke you for texting him. Gosh, what the hell would you say after that? He’s about to cuss you out. Suddenly your room feels too small to hold you and what you’re feeling.

But what pops up is even more anxiety inducing.

Kookie<3: I’m in town. We should meet and talk tomorrow.

Why does he sound so professional? Why do you care. Oh- your mind, it’s spinning.

He’s in town, when? Why didn’t he tell you. This would be the first time you see him in a year since he moved. And he couldn’t even just tell you he was in town. The reason to him being here is not unknown to you. It’s the Christmas season and his parents do live in the same city as you. And just like you they were not happy about they’re son moving so far away. But nothing was stopping jungkook. Nothing.

You’re probably not important to him anymore but, couldn’t he have just said, hi. I’m in town. How long has he even been here for? You never thought he’d return to the city even for the holidays.

You shake the thoughts out of your head. You can’t be over thinking this.

We?......meet?.....talk?.....TOMORROW!              

Tomorrow couldn’t come any faster (not that you were excited for it.). It’s almost as though it wants you and jungkook to meet.

You both agreed to meet at one of the small restaurants near your place. One you two frequented together, so it holds so much for you. Which only made you more anxious on your way.

When you walked in your eyes unconsciously moved to the table you and jungkook loved to seat at. It was good distance from the kitchen so your food could reach you quicker, and far from others so that jungkook could lean in and say the nastiest thing on earth. It always made you blush even though you’d swat at him. You spot jungkook sat where he usually sat. Coat taken off and hanged on his chair.

 “Hey.” You choke out smiling politely as you reach the table and take off your coat, the inside of the restaurant too warm to be comfortable with it on.

You take a sit and allow your body to get accustomed to the environment. And jungkook.

He’s quick to respond to your greeting just as awkward.

When you’re settled you finally get a chance to see just how much he’s changed in a year. The warm light from the ceiling softens his features which would normally be sharp in the dim lights of your bedroom. His hair is cut short. Last time you saw him it was neck length, but now it’s significantly short. Makes him look professional, mature. You like it, really like it. you wish you could just reach over and touch it, it’d probably be just as soft as you remember it and smell like lavender. You notice how he has it styled and gelled back so you doubt he’d be happy with you running your hands in it.

Jungkook spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get it to look like this, which he doesn’t think is perfect enough, but he was running out of time. Something about this meeting had him wanting to go out. He just hopes you like it. he remembers you last saw it when it was longer. It was a big cut, but after your breakup, he felt like giving up the length, considering your hands loved to live in his hair.

You sit hand in lap waiting for your mouth to catch up with how fast your brain is working. Though if you did speak what your brain was thinking, you’d embarrass yourself.

“We should order first.” He says rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue denim shirt. The action reminding of the inks on his arm. A detail that adds to how attractive he is already. You’re really hating yourself for your thoughts. In your defence you haven’t seen him in the flesh for a year. “What do you wanna get?” he picks up his menu and you do too, stuttering in your movement. He seems calmer than you right now.

But the only thing is that he’s shitting himself inside. when he was sat before you came, his heart dropped every time he heard the door bells chime. Every time he turned it wasn’t you. Only increasing his nervousness. Maybe he was a little to forward with his message. You haven’t seen each other in a while and it’d probably be overwhelming, especially with a certain elephant in the room. He would’ve definitely understood if you didn’t want to show. On the chime of the door that followed his thoughts, he didn’t turn, only for it to be you. In your full glory, making him fidget with his phone more. Which he put aside immediately you sat down.

Clearing your throat you speak, “something soup-y. Today’s a little cold.” And you don’t feel like throwing up what you eat.

Jungkook agrees and his red nose is evidence of that. Cute, you think.

After your orders are taken you turn back to silence. What could you probably say right now? You can feel the distance between you emotionally. And you hate how this is how you are after not seeing each other for a year. Before breaking up you thought of the many ways, you’d hug him once you got to see him. You were definitely delusional over how serious your distance was. Really wanting to believe it wouldn’t be a problem; until it became one, and you just couldn’t do it anymore.

You don’t know how to behave right now.

“So, when did you get back?” you settle on a soft and casual tone.

“Just yesterday.” He speaks sounding a little hesitant. After not knowing where to look you decide to just look at one thing. The table.

After beats of silence, you continue. Can your food come any faster? “you’re staying with your parents?”

“Yeah.”

You lived together, in your used to be shared apartment before he decided to move. So, his only option was to live with his parents for the mean time. He assumed you wouldn’t want or even let him live with you. And it would be fair, you aren’t together anymore.

“I’m Sure they were shocked to see how much you’ve change.” Cause you are. You haven’t seen his parents in the same time that he hasn’t seen them.

“It was a surprise drop in so I’m sure they were” he says with weak chuckle. He bites into his lip before he’s looking at you again, but you don’t stare at him. It’s only when you realize his stare that you finally face him. “How have you been? You look well.” He’s dreading himself right now for not being able to speak to someone who has been, for 3 years, the only person he could speak to.

You do look good, and he can’t take his mind off it. the camera has not been doing you justice. Your skin looks brighter and you generally are just glowing. Gosh he missed looking at you. The way small dainty jewellery serves to compliment your outfit. Your hair done in a way you like, and he loves.

“I try.” You smile. Every chance you get you take a glace at his lip piercing. You’d forgotten just how it made him even the more--. “You look well too. How’s the job going?”

He sucks in a breath, showing visible stress at the thought of his job. “it’s going okay. Easiest way to put it.” he chuckles, awkwardly. You smile, awkwardly too. “I missed it here though, so much stuff I left behind.”

You just hum, nodding. Avoiding how his eyes glancing over you, just for a second as he was looking for where to keep his gaze whilst speaking.

“But I’m sure you’re having fun that side.” That side. He can hear the strength you put on the words. Instead of fiddling on your lap you decide to fold your arms on your chest. Finding it appropriate for the feelings that are sneaking in.

“You can say that, but there’s just something that feels empty y’know.” You do know, but you both choose to leave the conversation implicit.

And right on time, your food arrives saving you from saying anything. What the heck would you say when you can’t even think.

You two are soon digging into your food. Jungkook in his kimchi jjigae and you in yours.

“I missed this- mmm.” He hums making that little angry face he makes when he likes food. You laugh, a little to loud at that causing him to look up at you. You drop your smile.

“Mrs Kim always asks me about you when I come here.” 6 slices of chopped spring onion garnish you haven’t eaten, yet.

He leans back in his chair, unintentionally watching you eat.

He turns his head towards the kitchen where the lady in question usually spends her time. “Where is she anyways?” he’s back to digging into his food. the steam from the food warming his cold nose.

“she’s visiting sung Hoon in the US.” You inform him, taking in how relaxed you’ve become.

He nods at the info, “Ahh- she finally got to got to the US?” he smiles. He remembers how she would come to the table; she’d complain that her son doesn’t want her to visit, which was not the case. But being the dramatic lady she is, she would think that. “ ’m sure she was so excited.”

“no one could hear the end of it.”

He chuckles and you find yourself laughing too. But as much as you’re seemingly getting comfortable (though not wholly.) silence finds a way to wrap it’s long, cold and slimy finger around you two.

After you’re done eating your meals in silence, jungkook thinks it’s time to discuss the reason you’re even meeting. Cause you have nothing more to talk about.

“what’s the plan for the trip?” he shifts in his seat. “Assuming you’d want to go.” He doubts.

You take a deep breath before speaking, looking over at the whole scene of the restaurant. “I don’t know, we’d leave on Thursday. Assuming you’d want to go too.” You would want to go, that’s why you booked the trip. It’s only your situation that makes it awkward.

“Do you?” his question comes out fast and sudden and he regrets how quick it came out.

“Mm?” you mutter like you couldn’t hear what he said.

He clarifies choosing to speak more calmly and composed. “Do you want to go?”

The question takes you aback as though you hadn’t been asking yourself the same thing.

Reaching to play with the little gem on your necklace you stutter out. “I-I mean- yeah we spent money on it.” you shrug your shoulders as if you’re unconsciously saying otherwise, but really, you’re just trying to keep your statement open. In case he doesn’t want to go, and you’re left embarrassed with an extra ticket.

Jungkook instead takes your action as you probably not wanting to go. “I get it if you don’t. It’s a weird situation.” His hands move to touching his hair.

You trying to jump in but end up speaking a little too fast. “No, I do. Plus, I hate wasting money.” You do hate wasting money, truly. And it is just that and the fact that you would love a trip right now, to de-stress.

“But do you want to go with me?” that churning feeling in your stomach is returning, and you’ve just eaten which makes it all the much better.

Biting down on your lip and releasing it you say, “I mean I wouldn’t want to go on my own.” You hate how you feel your throat choking up. “Who else would I go with?” you awkwardly joke. There are some people you’d go with. But you planned this trip with jungkook and he paid the much for the tickets. So, it’s only fair to go with him. If he wants to.

He skips your question, not in bad taste. it’d be weird for you to go on a trip you planned with him with someone else. Maybe he did think of it, that maybe you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t with him. But then he thought it through. Shit doesn’t have to be awkward unless you both make it. so, you can enjoy this trip if you just agree to enjoy it. “I don’t mind going with you, but I don’t want you to feel forced to have me there.”

“I have no problem with you, jungkook.” You saying his name even though it’s not the pet name he enjoys feels like a warm touch to him. “I just want to know if you wanna go.” You find it in you to ask.

“I don’t mind it at all.” He says, relieving you of your fears.

He sighs. After he silence speaks. “I can’t believe I forgot about it. I was so excited for it too.” he reminiscing on the day. It was such a good idea. Is a good idea, if you just agree to enjoy it.

“So? It’s settled right?“ You sit up grabbing your stuff and preparing to leave. Jungkook’s smile falls realizing that the moment is ending. But he will see you soon still.

“Yeah.” He prepares to leave too.

“We leave Thursday, I guess. We’ll stay in touch.”

And that’s it, your conversation ends with you managing to avoid the larger topic at hand. It’s like a game.

You throw your clothes in haphazardly. You’re in a panic, which is not necessary cause you have enough time, the whole day to be precise. Your flight’s tomorrow. But the whole airport thing has always found a way to make you panic.

You grab some essentials, but in frustration. Maybe you just want to get it over with. The packing, not the trip. Honestly it feels like it’s already started. Is this how you’re going to be.

As you search through your closet you land on a sweater, one you remember too well. It’s green colour and fluffy soft texture makes it the warmest thing you own. A very memorable sweater, for the warmth it brought you and its origin. You can still smell him on it. You dread packing it and resort to shoving it further in your closet. You’ll think about it.

You stare at your zipped up suitcase for a bit before your eyes gloss over to your phone that buzzes on your bed. For a split second you wonder if it’s jungkook. Could he have changed his mind. you sigh relived when you see it’s just jimin.

Who chooses to say nothing of value and just tease you. “Honestly why do I tell him these things.” You throw your phone on your bed.

Jungkook stands over his already packed suitcase. He just has to zip it closed and seal this trip. He sighs rubbing his lower lip. Before you two broke up he had so much planned for this trip. So much he wanted to say and do. But it's different now and it’d be weird and wrong to say those things. Not before talking of course.

Is he looking forward to this trip? Yes-wait- maybe. The trip in itself is fine, a great and good idea and opportunity to enjoy a holiday and relax. But your presence entails something more something he has to deal with (in a responsible and good way) and that he's been running away from.

 "You're excited huh?" his mother smiles leaning against his door frame, watching. He's not sure what about his facial expression, body language or general demeanour would make her think that he's excited. It’s not like he’s dreading or regretting it. it’s more like excitement is the last thing he’s feeling cause of all he’s thinking of.

He doesn't say anything before she's speaking again.

"You need this trip. you've been so busy." He has. Too much at that. So much that he forgot you two had even broken up and was about to go to your place first when he arrived. He’d been so excited to surprise you, then it dawned on him. His tires were quick to turning. His thoughts are cut short by his mother. "it'll help you spend more time with yn."

"I guess." he replies unenthusiastically. Though it’s the same idea they’re both thinking of it in a different context. Something that his mother doesn’t know yet.

He doesn't stare at where she stands only at his suitcase analysing what he's packed and what the heck is actually going on. "Plus, it would be a perfect place to propose." She enthuses, joyous at the thought. He seems to have slightly forgotten about that detail too.

 When you were planning the trip, he made a plan to propose to you on it. It honestly is the perfect place to and he felt like it was the right time. Of course, you'd be arguing but it wasn't something that was holding back your relationship. Plus, he thought you'd talked it out well enough. So, he spent his free time after planning the trip, shopping for rings and looking proposal ideas and even asked some of his colleagues for advice. It’d be a trip where you got to spend some time after being away for so long.

But that's when you called and honestly kicked him in the balls. Too confused he just went along with it.

"Switzerland is such a good choice, you kids are so good at these things." She says probably imaging herself there too.  It’s not long before his eyes are staring at the black velvet box on his dressing table, and his head is spinning all over again. He knows how excited she gets about this and she won’t stop. “You could take a walk and then pull out the Ring with those mountains in the back and-"

"Eomma!" His deep voice stops her, not harshly but whiny. Not telling his parents about the breakup is honestly the most overwhelming thing because of how his mother adores you and finds a way to bring you up in every conversation. she could go on but the tired look on her son's face makes her stop. She wants to pry on why he looks more drained that ecstatic but she chooses against it.

”Is something wrong?”

He realizes just how carried away he’s getting with his emotions. He shakes his head. “no. I’m just stressed.” He finally looks up at her to give a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes but she returns.

"Sorry, you know how I get carried away. I'm sure you have your own plan let me not stress you."

She leaves and he sighs

No. He has no plan of his own. He has no plan at all.

Your suitcase handle is firmly clutched into your hand as you walk into the airport.

Your eyes scan the crowd. Every face. Each bag too, because you know which one he'd probably be carrying with him. Seeing it again is gonna be triggering cause the last time you saw it was the last time you saw him off.

You and jungkook agreed to come separately and since his parents lived closer to the airport he'd be here first and wait for you by security. But now that you're there you can't see him. Maybe he's a little late but why wouldn't he tell you.

You told him you had just arrived but he hasn't even seen that message. Has he changed his mind? is the first thing that pops up in your head. If he has that's a shitty way to do it. Just ghost you?

So, you pull out your phone to call him. “Pick up." You mutter under your breath.

No answer.

You feel stupid. It honestly feels like you're on a Lifetime show or even worse TLC.

Your annoyance bubbles over as you glance around the busy security area. "Where is he?" you ask yourself.

 Though you think he has, you doubt jungkook would just ghost you. It's not what you know him to be. You tap your foot impatiently and try to call him again. Still nothing. Your heart finally relaxes when you spot him already walking to you. "Seriously?" You say a little upset when he finally reaches. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Oh. I didn't hear it." He says pulling it out of his pocket. "Must be on silent. I’m sorry." He looks at you genuinely so. And you can’t bring yourself to be as mad as you want to be. It’s not a big deal, he’s here now.

“it’s okay, we should get going, we’re almost late.” You say frustrated with how traffic delayed your arrival. Jungkook just hums agreeing and surprising you by taking you suitcase. You’d tell him it’s fine and you can manage but he’s already walking ahead of you. Probably not wanting to hear it.

A tense silence stretches between you two as you wait to board your plane. Sitting side by side has never felt so awkward, like the space between you is miles wide. You scroll through your phone, pretending to be so into it. You don’t notice Jungkook stealing occasional glances at you. Or rather, at the sweater you’re wearing—the one he gave you (more like you took.) just before he moved to another town. The green complimenting your skin. He loves how it just melts to fit you. He’s glad to know that you’re warm, he’s aware of how incredibly warm it is.

He wonders if you’re wearing it deliberately, or if it’s just because it’s the warmest thing you own, and today’s even colder than yesterday. Probably no meaning behind it. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Though it’s not enough to stop him from developing a smile on his face, one he covers with his hand.

The low hum of voices and the faint crackle of the airport announcements fill the silence. Someone walks past, dragging a squeaky suitcase, the airport noises the only thing between the two of you.

“I know this is awkward.” He starts randomly, at first doubting he was talking to you but then you move your attention to him, when you realize it’s only you he can be talking to. It’s not like you were looking at anything on your phone. “I want us to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.”

“I want you to enjoy it too.” You find yourself speaking before your brain can process.

He smiles and turns to meet your eyes. All of a sudden, he feels so close. “So can we just pretend.” His eyes don’t move, if possible, they stare even deeper into yours. Yours don’t move as well. “Pretend like everything’s okay.” He speaks low as if he doesn’t want others around to hear. “Agree?”

You haven’t said much, instead just let him speak. “Agreed.”

You don’t mind pretending. You’ve been pretending you’re okay all this time, so why can’t you do it now.

-

You watch Jungkook sliding the bags into the overhead storage above your seats. He notices you approaching and nods for you to have the window seat.

“You sure?” you ask only because he called dibs when you planned the trip that he’d be getting the window seat.

He nods. “Yeah. I know you like it more than I do.” You do. He only called dibs because he was trying to ‘one up’ you like everything’s a game.

You squeeze passed him get comfortable in your seat and he’s soon sitting next to you. You’re glad it’s just two seats.

You sit in silence for most of the flight, each pretending to be too absorbed in your own activities to notice the other. Jungkook watches you out of the corner of his eye as you scroll through your phone, then switch to reading a book. This trip can’t be that bad, you tell yourself. Of course, you two haven’t talked about your breakup, but it doesn’t have to come up. You’ll just enjoy the weekend and go back to normal, like he said—pretend---if either of you even knows what that means.

What are the boundaries of pretending.

At some point, you shift in your seat, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. You’re asleep, of course, but Jungkook glances down at you, momentarily startled. He considers waking you but decides against it. Instead, he leans back slightly, letting you stay there.

As the plane hums softly and moves through the sky, Jungkook can’t help but wonder if this trip could be his chance to fix things. How does he want it to happen? Does he even know? All he knows it that you do eventually have to talk about things. Do you even want to talk about it, because you seem to be avoiding it.

But there’s only so much avoiding you can do.

As soon as the plane lands, you stretch in your seat, surprised you managed to sleep for that long. Glancing at Jungkook, you watch as he pulls the luggage from the overhead bin. He looks like he didn’t get any sleep at all, you had been sleeping on his shoulder for most of the time. You exchange a brief look—just acknowledging each other and your present moment—before heading off the plane

The crisp Swiss air hits you as you step outside the terminal, and you follow Jungkook as he gets into a cab and it drives confidently toward a car rental area, which you’re confused about but don’t ask. Jungkook picks up keys from the reception and you walk through the parkin lot looking for what you don’t know. You’re just following. You stare at him puzzled as he dangles the keys. He’s been quiet, and you hadn’t even expected to rent a car. Public transport seemed like the plan, but now that you think about it, you remember how Jungkook feels about it.

“You rented a car?” you raise a brow.

He nods, “yeah, it’d be easier. Thought you’d approve.”

He catches a glance of your face, like you’re trying to figure something out, but can’t.

“Hmm.” You only hum.

“You look cute when you’re confused”.  He takes you by surprise. “Come on.” He says walking and not letting you process his words. You just try to shake them out of your head.

You don’t admit it, but you're impressed. He thought ahead. And you’re honestly glad he did—something you feel he’s been lacking the past year.

Once he’s done packing the luggage into the car, he closes the trunk and slides into the driver’s seat. You’re not sure why you’re shocked to find out it’s a Mercedes-benz g63 amg. You’d always known he had an obsession with luxury cars, especially ones like this. The fact that his job pays so well certainly helps, you guess moving out of town must’ve been worth it.

The car is great-- so comfortable, and the heater works perfectly, keeping you warm against the cold.

As Jungkook adjusts the mirrors, you scroll through your contacts, trying to figure out what to call the person you booked the cabin with, “what do I call them a host?” You mutter under your breath before dialling the number.

Jungkook glances at you as you speak to the host in quick tones. "Got it, thanks," you say, giving a quick wave of your phone toward Jungkook. With the directions noted you can now get to moving.

"Okay, so we head north, then take-“

“North?" Jungkook interrupts, starting the engine. "Are you sure it's not west or whatever?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You glare at him. He glances at one map and thinks he knows his way around Switzerland.

"I just talked to the guy," you say flatly.

Jungkook smirks, recalling a past trip. "Remember last time we travelled, and we ended up on a dead-end street?" he says with a cheeky smile on his face. he’s teasing you.

You roll your eyes at the memory. You had been driving through the outskirts, and your GPS got wonky, causing you to go down a deserted road.

“If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t have gotten lost,” you reply.

You stop bickering, finally following the GPS. Jungkook decides to follow the directions, and the tension eases as you leave the city behind.

The atmosphere shifts, replaced by a sense of awe at the breathtaking scenery. Low-capped mountains stretch into the horizon, Swiss chalets dot the landscape, and the sun reflects off the lakes. You’re glad you arrived during the day; cause nighttime would not have done the view justice.

You watch out the window, your voice filled with awe. "Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." Jungkook glances at your direction before returning his attention to the road. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, equally mesmerized by the view.

"Can you grab my camera from the back?" he askes. Recalling his passion for photography, you can’t be surprised he has it with him.

You pull out the camera from his bag, noticing it’s larger and more expensive looking than the one you had gifted him. "Do you still have your other one?" you’re curious.

He knows what you’re hinting to. "It fell in water during a fishing trip with my team, but I'm getting it fixed."

“Do you still have the pictures.” You’d hate to lose them, even though they are null and void now, you still like how happy you looked in them.

“Yeah. They’re in my SD.” He informs you and you’re glad.

You fumble with the new camera, struggling to operate its buttons, he notices. "There's a button just there," he directs. Though you aren’t much of a photographer, you manage to snap some decent shots of the scene. You take a lot to make sure you have options.

Feeling playful, you turn the camera to jungkook and snap a pic of him. You had always admired his model-like features and often joked he should pursue modelling instead of his current path, which kept him 218 miles away. But now you realize modelling would only take him even farther.

He never agreed to the idea but never argued either. He preferred to appreciate beauty rather than be the centre of attention.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, just one," you reply.

He doesn’t respond, leaving you to wonder what he’s thinking. Is he upset? Did you cross a pretending line?

"Wanna stop and take pictures," he grins, "y’know for your Instagram."

It’s not a bad idea, but you don’t want to be late and have the host waiting for too long.

"We won't be long." he looks over to see if you’re considering. He smiles when sees that you are. You don't post much on Instagram, and he knows that. But it wouldn't hurt to have some pictures from this trip.

"Let's be quick," you accept.

He pulls over to the side of the road and when you’re out he’s approaching you to take the camera. "Let me take some of you first," you insist. He isn’t so keen on it though.

"Just a few," you whine dodging him trying to take it from your hands.

"We're supposed to be quick." He reminds you. "And you know I'm not a fan of pictures of me."

 You not wanting to bicker. You hand it over to him. "But I will take pictures of you eventually," it’s a promise.

You quickly get posing on a spot you like, and he snaps several pictures. Some you were prepared for, while others were candid of you looking up a bird flying over, like you’ve never seen a bird before. or just in awe of the scene behind. Why do the birds seem so majestic here?

Jungkook smiles as he continues to take photos, forgetting the time. "I think that's enough. We're going to be late," you say, running out of poses to do.

You start walking to the car and he snaps one more picture of the scene before getting back and starting the car.  Whilst adjusting to the warmth he hands you the camera.

"These are so pretty," you bulge your eyes out at how good jungkook is at taking pictures. You can definitely see the difference. Jungkook can’t help but feel a sense of pride. You scroll through the camera, admiring more pictures.

Then you scroll a little too far and notice a series of photos featuring a friend—someone he seems to be close to. In one, she leans on his shoulder, a gesture that causes some type of discomfort or irritation. You couldn’t be sure, you’re too busy scrolling. She smiles too hard, you judge.

gosh you're pathetic. Why are you acting like this. The man is not your boyfriend he can do whatever. The statement causes an unwanted sour taste to form over your taste buds.

You continue to scroll, analysing the photos, each one deepening your insecurities.

"Careful, you're gonna damage the buttons," Jungkook jokes when he notices your rushed movement. He wonders what has you that way.

When he speaks, you’re brought back to reality. Though you’re brought back with an attitude. You switch off the device and lay it back where you found it, sitting back down with a scowl on your face and jungkook wonders the cause.

You had been fine just a moment ago. He doesn’t say anything and focuses fully on the road ahead. The silent drive to the cabin feels anything but aesthetic.

You sigh as the car slows, leaving behind the snow-covered path. When you approach the cabin, it’s instantly recognizable from the photo. At least you weren’t lost or scammed. The place looks serene. It’s blanketed in snow. It’s not like those huge family ones. It’s small just to fit you and jungkook. You’d have no money to buy anything or activities if you booked those larger ones. And they’re unnecessary cause it’s just the two of you.

Jungkook parks the car, and as you both step out, the awkwardness that’s shadowed the trip returns. It had been there from the beginning, lingering beneath exchanges and strained silences. Brief moments, like taking pictures earlier, had been relieving, but even that had soured quickly. Now, neither of you had much to say.

The cabin’s host, a kind older man with a thick Swiss accent, greets you warmly, showing you around the cozy interior and pointing out the back patio before leaving. Once alone, you both quietly bring in the luggage. The silence is deafening, broken only by the crunch of snow you step on.

Due to your irritation that some how still lingered you step a little too hard on the icy ground, and in an instant, your foot slips. You land awkwardly in a mix of snow and dirt, the impact cushioned but still hurting.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook calls, his voice tinged with concern and amusement. He’d drop the luggage to come check on you if you hadn’t brushed him away with your hand.

Still irritated, now cause of the fall, you dust yourself off and move yourself inside. You drop the luggage in bedroom and start taking off your sweater, only to have Jungkook walk in moments later.

“One bed,” he states, looking at the large, centred piece of furniture. “Looks comfy.” You seem to have forgotten the cabin was lover’s themed, so it did only have one bed. The host had asked you if it was a problem when he saw the look on your face but you just brushed it away at you being tired.

You glance at the bed, then at him. “Yeah. Guess you’ll have to take the couch,” you joke, though your tone comes out flatter than intended.

“Nope.” He flops onto the bed, which creaks under his weight, making him pause to check if it’s broken. When it holds, he relaxes. “I’m sleeping right here.”

You sigh, deciding it’s not worth arguing. You’ve shared a bed before—it shouldn’t be a big deal so many times at that. But those times are not now and you have to deal with your new circumstance.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you announce, expecting him to leave the room. Instead, he sprawls comfortably on the bed.

“Knock yourself out,” he replies casually.

Groaning, you grab your toiletries and head to the bathroom. The hot water feels like a gift, relaxing your tense muscles. If only the whole trip could feel this peaceful.

When you return, Jungkook is gone, though his shoes by the door confirm he hasn’t gone far. You search through your suitcase for a sweater, only to realize you packed just one sweater—the one now wet and dirty. Frustration bubbles as you grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt. It’ll have to do, though you doubt it’ll keep you warm in tomorrow’s outdoor activities.

Meanwhile, Jungkook in the kitchen has immersed himself in exploring the layout of it. whilst on his expedition his attention drifts to a tiny blue bird minding its business outside the window. He leans into it but carefully not to scare it away. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to find him a bother. “Got any advice for me?” he murmurs, taking a peek behind him. The bird doesn’t react, oblivious to his internal conflict. He’s unsure—about you, about himself, about what this trip is supposed to accomplish.

When you enter the kitchen and done talking to his new friend who doesn’t present him with anything viable but his company, he’s quick to point out the lack of groceries. “We should go shopping. It’s on your itinerary, right?” he teases lightly.

You nod, unsurprised he remembers. You’d always been the planner, the one who thought of everything. Maybe that’s why the breakup hurt so much—it came so suddenly, leaving no time to plan how to feel or move on.

As he’s about to suggest leaving immediately, he notices you rubbing your arms. “Aren’t you cold?” he asks, gesturing to your thin shirt.

“I’m fine,” you reply dismissively, though you clearly aren’t.

“Put on a sweater before you get sick,” he insists. His boyfriend instincts linger, even now.

You hesitate but eventually admit, “I forgot to pack an extra one.” The way how stares at you is so embarrassing for you.

Jungkook chuckles softly, though not unkindly. “Of course you did.” You roll your eyes. He moves to grab a sweater from his suitcase and hands it to you. “Here. Borrow this.”

You take it, the faint scent of his cologne that seems to be on everything he wears no matter how much he washes, invaded your senses. “Thanks,” you say quietly, slipping it on and hoping not to ruin this one too.

By the time you return from the store, exhaustion settles in. You both sit in the living room, cups of hot cocoa in hand. Jungkook flips through the channels while you sit quietly, the warmth of his sweater and the fire calming you.

“You’ve made a lot of friends in Jeju,” you say suddenly, your tone sharper than intended.

Jungkook pauses, confused. “What friends?”

“Colleagues, maybe? Customers? I saw the pictures on your camera,” you admit, staring into your cup instead of at him.

He leans back, waiting. He knows what you’re referring to and could explain that the woman in the photos was a client a little too excited and touchy about her wedding rehearsal photos, and had wanted photos with him. But he wants you to ask.

Instead, the silence stretches, filled with unspoken questions—questions about Jeju, the photos, the breakup, and even yourself. You sigh, pushing them aside.

“is there something you wanna ask?”

“There’s nothing I want to ask,” you finally say, though the bitterness in your voice betrays the truth.

Jungkook laughs softly, shaking his head. “I thought we agreed on pretending.” His voice is still soft.

“I know. Just don’t want you pretending if you’ve got other things going on.”

Jungkook chuckles taking a sip of his cocoa.” I’m good.”

“I’m good too.”

“Good.”

You watch him stand a sly smirk adoring his face. “let’s go back to pretending now, okay?” he says looking at you.

You mumble a sure and he walks off. Probably to sleep.

Sleeping the same bed is even more awkward. After spending some minutes you’d decide you were too tired to be awake, you came the bedroom.

Jungkook was still awake staring at his phone, and for some reason shirtless. He likes to sleep shirtless and the tension between you two isn’t going to stop him.

Jungkook tries to keep his eyes to himself as you change into your pajamas. You didn’t want to be childish so you just changed right there. It’s nothing he’s never seen before. He won’t act like the action doesn’t cause a rise in memories and he holds himself to not thinking further. Soon you’re crawling into your side and laying facing away from him. Jungkook chooses to lie on his back, the bed big enough for you to keep your distance. He turns off the lights but your eyes remain open staring into the dark.

As the night continues, none of you are able to fall asleep. Jungkook tries to make himself comfortable, his shifting cause you to think he might be moving closer, but he doesn’t. why do you feel sad. Your brain is used to being close to him and him holding you in situations like this. And he too is used to wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer into him. But there’s none of that.

“I can’t fucking sleep.” he groans frustratedly sitting up. He runs his hands in his hair. He looks over at you thinking you’re asleep, the darkness preventing him from actually knowing. He’s jealous at the idea of you being able to sleep, but when your frustrated voice sounds, he’s relieved. Relieved that he’s not the only not able to sleep.

“Same.” You mutter remaining on your side.

Jungkook huffs and puffs contemplating on asking what he’d been debating. Your bodies are probably used to sleeping closer to each other, so maybe that’s’ why it’s hard. You surely won’t mind if it means you get to sleep right?

He looks over to you and how far you seem from. He doesn’t like, hates the reality of it. “Can I sleep closer to you.” His words and the fact that he actually said takes you aback. You freeze. Your silence is killing him, he shouldn’t have said it. he should take it back, well—but he’s already sai-

“Okay.” Okay? Well, that was easy, he thought you’d be looking at him weird. but no, you just lay on your side waiting for him.

When he said closer you never thought he meant this close. You’re the closest you can be. But you don’t mind it, it actually brings you that giddy feeling, like it’s your first time cuddling. You realize just how much you missed it. He nuzzles his face in your neck and this is when he’d kiss your shoulder and neck but he doesn’t and the detail is gravely missed. He has to hold himself from not doing it.

“We’re going to move to the middle of the bed, darling.” It’s only then that you realize how much at the edge you were. You shuffle yourselves and move into the center and get comfortable in the position.

“Are you comfortable?”

So much you hate to say it. You can’t even bring yourself to be angry. “y-yeah.” You can barely respond coherently with how his voice is so close sending goosebumps all over you.

“Can I put my around you? It’s the only place I can put it.” he tries to explain, but you were actually hoping for it.

You nod for him to go ahead and he wraps his arm around you. Honestly, he should’ve just asked if he could cuddle you, because this is basically what you’re doing. He didn’t have to mask it; you’d have said yes either way. He doesn’t know that though.

Now that you’re close to him and him to you, you both weirdly fall asleep, very quickly at that.

First thing on your itinerary was to visit the Lindt home of chocolate you’d been drooling at the thought of it since you planned this trip. It would honestly be a crime to visit Switzerland and not visit the Lindt factory. Being a lover of chocolate no activity on your list will be as good as this.

“I don’t know why they have us putting our bags away.” Jungkook whines taking off his jacket, as required and placing it in a locker. “How am I supposed to carry my chocolate.” His speech is almost childlike. You just chuckle.

 ” That’s why they do it.” You inform him, with a soft smile and start to walk ahead of him. Jungkook walks behind you, watching how you look around with wonder.

Did he mention how good he feels right now. The sleep he had last night was the best he’s had in a while. And it only serves to tell him how much he’s missed your presence. Just you as a whole. Being away from you for so long has had an effect on him too. It’s only now, that he’s not able to do all the things he used to do, that he realizes how much he’s missed it. And how much you mean to him.

“Oh my gosh.” Jungkook watches how you take in the aroma of chocolate. It invades his senses and when you’re turning around to check on him, he’s nodding. You want him to enjoy this just as you are.

You gasp and it’s when you spot the huge chocolate fountain that you pull Jungkook’s attention to it by his arm. “it’s so fucking huge.” You say still holding onto him.

“that’s what she said.”

You roll your eyes. “Grow up.” You both laugh. and it’s when you’re lost in laughter and admiring the fountain that jungkook looks down to see you still holding his arm. So, in a swift action of no thought, all instinct he moves to hold your hand.

Your head sharply moves to look at him then at his hand holding yours and then back up at him. He’s got this innocent smile on his face and you can’t help but warm up into his hold. You don’t mind the action of holding hands but you fear what it implies. Is he for real or still pretending?

For the first minutes you stay holding hands, until jungkook is pulling away to grab his camera. You rub you hands together to try and regain your sense of independence. What the heck are you doing, holding hands? This pretending thing Is a good idea, but it’s definitely messing with you in some way. All ways. He’s giving you things that you’ve been craving. The cuddle at night, the holding hands, you’ve missed it all. But you don’t know where it’s coming from, does he miss you too or is he pretending. To think of it you never really discussed what type of pretending you’re doing. Are you pretending to still be together or are you pretending to be good friends. Gosh this is so stressful. And confusing. You wonder if he’s stressing like you are. He seems calm. He’s handling this so well.

“Wait—I need a picture of you. Stand still.” He points the camera to you and you’re quick to turning your head away.

“it’s fine you don’t need to-” snap.

He doesn’t give you the time to object and just snaps. “Jungkook stop taking pictures of me.” He doesn’t. you’re embarrassed to be doing this in public. But he seems thrilled. “Okay wait-” he doesn’t so you choose to reaching for the Lense. But jungkook doesn’t mind filling his storage with pictures of your palm. “Kook, wait.”

“Kook?” he questions smiling. You realize your mistake. Honestly you didn’t mean to call him that, it just came out naturally for you to get him to stop. And it worked. Though now it shifts the air.

You groan. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You roll your eyes. You don’t even know what you’re saying.

He doesn’t linger on it more, which honestly helps your case. The blush on your face is deserving of a picture. Snap.

“Stop that before I revoke your privileges.” You threaten. He doesn’t want that.

He raises his hands in surrender. “won’t do it again.”

You ignore him and turn to keep walking.

“Can take more later though?”

You don’t answer, but he takes it as a yes. You’ve always been his muse, it’s not gonna stop now. His camara is now getting some action.

This place is actually so beautiful, smells amazing too. The pictures you saw did not do it justice.

“Look at the strawberries, the nuts. Ah—I’m in heaven.”

Jungkook smiles as he watches enjoy and pointing for him to look at the large container, of everything that goes well with chocolate. He’s really just happy that you’re including him, by telling him how much you freaking love this place or how you want to stay here forever. It makes him feel like things aren’t all that bad between the two of you and it can be fixed.

“Why are you looking at me like that.” You narrow your eyes at him. Gosh he forgot how long he was looking for. You’d been telling him something but he zoned out.

“Oh-nothing.” He clears his throat.

You just brush it off, cause if you linger on it, you’ll melt. Jungkook looking at you has been a weakness for you, there’s just something about him focusing on you and having only you in sight. “Anyway, I was saying try this.”

He doesn’t regain his consciousness before you’re bringing a spoon full of chocolate to his lips. he takes it, tasting the sweetness of it.

He licks the chocolate off his lips when you pull away. “Mmm….so good.” You nod glad that he likes it. Though way he’s looking at you makes you think he might not be talking about the chocolate. You choose to ignore your thoughts with a cough.

As you go on you learn facts about chocolate and the factory and jungkook takes the pictures. When walking around you make sure to not forget to collect little pieces of chocolate from the dispensers. And it’s not long before your hands are getting full.

When your expedition is over, you’re returning to your bags to stuff them with your treasure.

“This is a lot of chocolate.” Jungkook states.

You shake your head. “it’s not that much.”

“Yeah of course an addict is telling me that.”

You gasp. “I’m not an addict.”

“Tell that to all the money I’ve spent buying you chocolate.” Money which it didn’t mind and loved spending.

“Honestly that’s all on you.” You say raising your hands. He chuckles.

Getting tired you both decide to go by the café inside the factory. Whilst there you both order some food to eat which is not chocolate, except you. For your beverage you picked to drink the famous hot cocoa. Which tastes like heaven made it themselves.

“How do I take this home with me?” you say motioning to your drink.

“Just stay.” He meant to say you both could just stay, but his tongue tripped.

You nod, thinking about it. “I could.” Moving to Switzerland and living here would be a dream. But unfortunately, things aren’t that easy. Finding a job would be hard, plus the language barrier would kill you.

“don’t.” he’s almost pleading. “I don’t know how I’d tell your family I lost you to Switzerland.” More like he doesn’t know how he’d fix things.

“Honestly it’s no competition.” You say in deep thought and analysis.

“What? you would leave me for Switzerland?” He says it not realizing causing you to chuckle. And when you look at him, he gets it.

The conversation doesn’t go farther after that. Jungkook just stays in his thought. When jungkook had made the decision to move. He honestly thought it wouldn’t be that bad. He’d plan on maybe moving you out to him when he settled down, but your job was a very hot topic. At the time he hadn’t realized how serious it was. But now he does.

If it was you moving, he’d be just as hurt. And it pissing him off that he hadn’t realize the impact.

For your second and last activity for the day, cause of the way time just flies by; is the largest indoor flea market.

You spend your time there; just looking around, eating, and buying stuff. During your move you make it a mission to take pictures of jungkook. And you do manage to take some good ones.

He also finds an opportunity to ask about your work and how it’s going. And if that co-worker that bothers you is still around. He’s glad to learn that she did get moved to another department. He’s happy with whatever makes you comfortable.

As you’re talking, you’re approached by a couple, older but not old and tourists as well. They ask you to take a picture of them and jungkook is glad to assist. When he’s done, they’re happy and offer to take a picture of you too, jungkook wants to decline the offer assuming you wouldn’t want to but you’re quick to accepting.

“you two look so lovely together.” The lady says and you have no clue what to say apart form an awkward thank you. You wouldn’t blame them for thinking you’re a couple, not with the way jungkook is smiling at the picture.

“Grow up kook.”

“What?” he whines. “It’s a good photo.”

You roll your eyes before walking away. He follows behind you, smiling.

-----

Soon your day on paper comes to an end and you’re returning to the cabin.

You did not know what to expect of your day in the morning. Your night was okay but would the rest of the day go the same? those were some of your thoughts. But to your pleasure the day went well, great even. You just hope it’s the same for the rest of the trip.

Jungkook is on cocoa duty (not assigned but he took the responsibility.) and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a good job at it every time.

Leaning against the counter holding your mug and watching him finishes up with his own, you watch.

“How’d you like the Lindt factory?”

He takes a sip before answering. “Great. Honestly enjoyed it more than I thought.”

“What? You don’t trust my judgement?” you watch as he leans on the counter opposite from you.

“it’s not that. Just never thought I was that big of a chocolate fan.”

You hum. Silence fills the kitchen as you’re just enjoying the drink. Why does the air feel so thick, is it the way he just leans there. Pajamas not doing a very good job at hiding his physique. Why the hell does he look buffer. Gosh, his arms look like they’d lift and lay you to your demise. In the morning you caught a glimpse of his shirtless torso, and you were about to lose your cool. To add gasoline to the fire he had just stepped out the shower and had not completely dried. Geez, if it wasn’t for your ability to leave the room, you don’t know what you would’ve done or said.

Jungkook has always had a keen eye for your little frustrated looks, the way you don’t blink, the way you wrap your hands around yourself or how you cross your legs. He knows. It’s the details he’s aware of. No one knows you like he does.

“I like this sweater on you.” He says pointing to the green sweater you’d just gotten back from the dry cleaners.

You look down at it. “Because it’s yours?” you raise a brow as you take a sip of your cocoa.

He shakes his head looking your body up. “no. because you look good in it.” He’s biting his lip, then his playing with that little lip ring. Yn, hold yourself.

You choke out a chuckle. “Jungkook.” It’s a warning for him. But he doesn’t take it.

“What? It’s not my fault you look good in all my clothes.” gosh you’re gonna die choking on this liquid. “Makes me want to just hand over my closet to you.” He’s coming closer to you, gosh what the fuck, he approaches but it’s the sink you’re standing in front he wants. You move. He rinses his mug, tired of the drink.

“Well, that won’t be necessary.” you say sliding away from his towering figure. Just to catch your breath, cause you’ve been holding it. Jungkook laughs at the movement. Just after, you’re rinsing your cup and placing it in the cupboard. You’re not gonna die choking on cocoa, or jungkook as a matter of fact.

“Think I’m going to bed.” You state thinking the bedroom will be your only place of solace away from him.

“Me too. I’m getting sleepy.”

You’re stiff as he walks behind you. You hope you’ll be able to sleep on your own tonight. Cause if jungkook just as much as touches you, you’ll turn into a puddle.

You’re quick to moving to your side and facing away from him as to not see him taking of his shirt. You know because you hear it drop.

“Goodnight.” He says turning off the light.

With all your might you mumble a goodnight to him too.

Tonight, you manage to fall asleep without cuddling. You sleep back-to-back close enough to feel the heat radiating off the other.

Jungkook wanted, so badly to go skiing after seeing an advertisement for it and saw some people do it on your way to the cabin. You’re not one for these intense sports but since he went with you to the Lindt factory, you thought it’d only be fair to go as well. Just accompany him.

Though his won’t be sweet and rewarding.

“You wanna go with me?” he asks teasingly and you shake your head, as soon as you process his words.” come on.” He whines.

“I’ll just cheer you on from down here.” The process of skiing looks terrifying. What do you mean you had to go on those zip line things, and slide down. Not you. Nope.

“it’s not that bad. You’ll be with me.”

Though it sounds comforting it doesn’t change anything. “I’ll just stay here looking around and taking pictures for you.” You smile hoping it convinces him.

He chuckles, his bunny smile on show for you.” baby what are you so scared of?” the pet name comes out smoothly, catching you by surprise. But it does seat itself in and warm your heart.

“it’s just scary.” You wrap your arms around your body.

He sighs watching you closely. “Fine, but can we do something as exciting, later.” He stares at you scattering your brain for what he could be referring to. “Like ice skating.” Oh—he was thinking ice skating. Last night has your mind in a whirlwind.

“That sounds better.” Jungkook laughs cause it’s basically the same thing, but he won’t get into it.

“Okay then.” He says walking to the register. “we’ll do that later.” It’s a promise.

Jungkook is off skiing and you’re sat in doors, still able to watch the outside activities, landscape and events thought the large window. You don’t mind not going skiing, it’s not like it was on your list.

While you’re sat you decide it’d be a good time to call jimin and let him in on your trip so far.

“it’s not as awkward, anymore. It was at first. But then we just agreed to just enjoy the trip for the sake of our money.”

“The sake of your money?” he mocks.

You choke out a laugh. “Yes, for the money.” Is it? “he’s been nice and all. It’s actually not bad.” Jimin hums as he listens, this time at least you have his attention.

You’ve shockingly enjoyed the trip more than you thought, so far. If you just keep on, the whole trip could go well and you’d be back to your normal lives. You hate the sickness you feel at the thought. The trip will end, it is gonna end and you’ll be back to what you were before. Gosh.

“Sounds like the trip is going a little too well.”

You scoff. “it’s not that, we’re both just chill.”

“No fucking or kissing.”

You gasp and look around like someone could’ve heard that, but your phone is to your ear. “jimin! Oh my gosh.” The thought of it has you blushing still.

“Just sayin’. Jungkook’s probably dying. ”

You roll your eyes. He’s fine, you’re fine.

You go on talking but soon you have to end the call. Immediately you cut the call and stuff your phone in your pocket a figure sits next to you. Male, not jungkook. You pay no mind to him. you’re on a public bench anyone can sit next to you. He’s just in his own business. Is what you think until he’s reaching over to talk to you.

“Exciting isn’t it.” when he speaks you catch his foreign accent, not Swiss. Must be a tourist like you.

You awkwardly furrow your brows. “Huh?”

“Skiing.” He points.

Then it clicks that that’s what he’s talking about.

“I presume.” You say modestly. Why the heck is he talking to you.

“Presume? Haven’t you gone?”

“no.” You shake your head chuckling. “it’s not for me.”

“You can’t say that. You haven’t even tried.” You internally roll your eyes. Why does he seem to care so much. “Plus, why come to Switzerland in the winter and not try skiing.”

You don’t know why you carry on this conversation, but you feel like justifying yourself. “Honestly I just came for the Lindt factory.” You say shamelessly causing the stranger to laugh. he doesn’t seem like a weirdo or creep, but you can never know. He’s probably not talking to you out of pure interest. So, you try to keep your distance.

“you’ve been?”

“Yeah. Yesterday.”

He hums sound interested and you know this conversation isn’t ending anytime soon. “How was it?”

You scoff internally. “It was fun. Would recommend you’ll love it.” You don’t even know him; how would you know he’d like it. And to be fair you’d add that Jungkook’s presence made the place more exciting to be at. You assume he doesn’t have a jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, how long is he going to be? You should’ve just gone out on a walk instead.

He nods. “Well maybe you can show me.” You pause, okay now you’re starting to get uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that I came alone and it would be nice to have someone show me around.” He justifies but it doesn’t make you any more comfortable. “I’d pay for your ticket if that’s the issue.”

You chuckle. “I’m a tourist to, there’s not much I can show you.”

“I mean you’ve visited the Lindt, so you know more than me.” Gosh he’s so adamant.

You smile awkwardly wishing jungkook would just pop up.

“you’d be better off going with someone else.” You’re looking around as if you’ve lost something. The man catches on to the action.

“Am I making you uncomfortable.” Yes. very.

“No-” before you can finish your lie of a statement, Jungkook’s interrupts, voice anything but kind.

“Yes, you are.” He says firmly, body not open for discussion.

The guy turns to look at you, then jungkook, then back at you. “Do you know him?”

Hesitantly you respond. “yeah” you debate on what to say. “He’s a friend.” He is isn’t he?

Friend? Jungkook chuckles internally. “Excuse us.” He spits out to the man.

The guy is taken aback, but just stands. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You just nod and give him an awkward smile as he walks away.

You sigh relieved that he’s gone.

 You and jungkook share a glance before he’s sitting down.

“Friend?” Jungkook asks when he sits next to you.

You raise a brow. “What? you wanted me to lie?”

“Lie?” he says even stronger. You don’t know what he’s pointing to right now.

“Are you parrot?” You chuckle trying to get smart with him.

Jungkook scoffs at how you avoid his eyes. “You couldn’t have said I was your boyfriend.”

“But you’re not.” You spit out a little quickly.

When you turn to look at him you catch how his jaw clenches. And if you weren’t arguing right now, you’d think it’s the hottest thing. “But you could’ve just lied so he leaves you alone. Now he’s probably going to try to approach you again.”

“he’s not going to.” You say naively.

Jungkook is getting frustrated with this, a little more than he should. “I know guys like that, he’s going wait for a time when I’m not around and attack.”

“Attack?” you laugh at his word choice. Your laughter only serves to his anger. “You’re being dramatic”

“I’m not being dramatic, I’m being serious” his statement comes out a little strong and louder than you’d like

“don’t yell.” You warn him and he apologizes. “I get you feel like you need to protect me, but relax.”

He laughs at the way you think. You thinking he’s feeling like he needs to, no, he needs to. He wants to.

“I don’t feel like, I need to, I want to.”

You don’t say anything, he knows he’s got you, what more could you say. There’s nothing. Jungkook is the protective type, has always been. He’s shown you that many times in your relationship. And then, it made sense but now you feel like he shouldn’t have to bother himself with it. You’re not his responsibility anymore. “We should get ready to go for lunch.” you stand walking away.

Jungkook follows after you, knowing you’re now gonna give him attitude. Your folded arms are evidence of that. He’d normally just kiss the attitude away but for obvious reason he can’t.

-

“you’re not gonna ask how skiing was?” He tries really hard to open the air for conversation. He hates it when you argue. So, he tries to everything he can to lighten the air.

You stare down at your food. Your eyes not meeting him once. “How was it?” you don’t even sound interested which you hate because you are. You love to hear jungkook talk about things he loves.

“It was great.” He explains not into going into much detail like he wanted to. Your energy demoralizes him. “I’m sure they’re still open if you still want to try. He suggests but you’re quick to shaking your head.

When he’s about to say something, he’s getting interrupted. It’s a girl, the one he met when skiing. She showed him around some routes since she’s a local.

“Yn, this is Lena. I met her whilst skiing.” He says introducing you. “Lena this is yn, my friend.”

Fuck now you know how bad it stings.

“Hey yn. How are you liking you trip so far?” she asks politely in an accent.

You stare her up, taking in her features. She looks about your age, and gorgeous. Why is your body so rigid. Speak. “Umm- hi-I’m liking it well enough. Thanks.” you can hear how stiff and awkward your speech is. Gosh yn she hasn’t done anything to you, chill. Smile.

Jungkook breaks into your awkward encounter. “I’m gonna be seeing you at the ice rink, right?”

He says and she smiles a little too hard. You roll your eyes. What does he mean he’s gonna see her there. Is the a you and him trip anymore? Your food doesn’t look as appetizing anymore. “Yeah. I’m there often during the holidays.”

The way her voice rings in your head is jarring. Make it stop.

Soon your prayers are answered and she’s leaving. Though unlike her your heavy heart stays.

Jungkook turns to you, still staring at her route of exit. “You, okay?” your eyes return.

You shift your eyes to your hands. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” You stand from the table choosing to leave. “I think I’m gonna stop by the cabin.”

Jungkook is confused. But he just takes you as you are.

“Sure, let me get-” he threatens to stand.

“no. I’ll just take a train.”

He sits down. If you want to be alone it’s best if he lets you be.

When you get to the cabin, all alone. You find yourself falling into deep thought.

The pretend play you and jungkook are playing is good for you to enjoy the trip, but you won’t deny how much it only covers your true feelings. You play pretend and feel all these feelings as though you’re still together and then the trip ends and you’re sucked into being apart.  And it’s him leaving all over again.

You’re getting sick of it. There’s only so much pretending you can do.

Jungkook: ice skating later today?

He wants to be sure you haven’t changed your mind.

Not matter your emotions you still want to enjoy the trip.

You: sure. Meet you there.

When you make it to the ice rink, your mood is still tense from lunch, which is your fault for holding on to the emotions for so long. To only sour your mood more, you spot jungkook talking to the Lena girl from lunch.

You roll your eyes and watch how she giggles a little too hard at something he says. Jungkook is a funny guy, but she shouldn’t be laughing, whatever he’s said can’t be that funny. This is so irritating. Why the hell is she even here.

When jungkook spots you, he has on a huge grin, but the sour look on your face has him dropping it. He thought maybe you wouldn’t be still upset by now. But he’s wrong. “Yn you’re here.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting you and you weren’t meant to be here, or that’s how you hear it.

“We made plans, didn’t we?” your tone is nothing more than flat and irritated.

“We did.” He turns. “You remember Lena?” He turns to point at her, like you can’t see her. Why’s she looking at you.

Oh, could you forget her. “I do.” You jeer.

“Hi.” she with her perfect smile. You’d liked to punch it in—your of course—you’d never actually so it.

“Hey.” It comes out awkward and strained. Wanting to get things over with you turn to jungkook immediately. “what’re we doing now?”              

“Um. We’ll have to get the skates.” He turns to Lena for some type of consultation, you scoff.

 “Yeah, this way.” she says turning to lead the way.

Jungkook turns to you, your folded arms the first thing he sees. He stands next to you. “You get here okay?” you didn’t arrive together which means you had to take public transport, which he knows you don’t mind but he just wants to check on you.

“Yeah.” You mutter before walking ahead of him. Do you even know where you’re going?

You want to enjoy it, but the emotions that are ahead of you block you from doing so completely. And of course, Lena is a pro at skating.

Jungkook is fairly good, for someone who’s just taken it up. You’d attribute that to his quick learner personality.

You on the other hand are struggling, and it’s pissing you off. You hold on to the half wall and glide. There’s a good amount of people around and honestly, it’s embarrassing. -like- there are even small kids better at it than you. It’d be better if you just stopped. There are probably other activities you could do. Ice skating (or skiing) is not the end all be all of Switzerland.

Jungkook would probably enjoy skating more with Lena, seeing that they skied together earlier. You question why jungkook even ever liked you in the first place. You’re not cool like Lena or even as adventurous, you do try but you don’t feel it’s enough. He’s better off with someone like her. It’s good you broke up so that he can be free to do whatever. The thought stabs at your heart.

Jungkook spots you from where he is walking out. The look on your face anything but happy. He’s swift to skating to you, making sure not to bump into anymore with how fast he’s moving. “Where you going?”

His concerned and soft voice only intensifies your frustration. Could he not see how irritated and bad at this you are. He was probably too busy to notice. He’s always busy.

 “You haven’t even travelled the while ring.” He chuckles awkwardly as you step off. He follows.

“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.” You don’t even dare look at him, because you know if you do your frustration will win and you’ll end up yelling or crying. And both are too embarrassing to do in public.

Jungkook scoffs. Jungkook can’t tell what’s going on with you but it’s definitely disturbing your ability to enjoy anything. He wants you to enjoy. But what’s irritating him is how you don’t want to communicate what you’re feeling to him. He’s always made himself a safe space for you to open up. But you never take it. Ever since he m0ved you’ve been distant, physically and emotionally. It’s frustrating cause all he wants is to be close to you in all ways. “You were not feeling skiing and now you’re not feeling this?”

Is he blaming you for not enjoying this? It’s not your fault you feel this way. You don’t even want to be feeling like this. You do want to enjoy skating, gosh you want to, so bad. But there’s just so much you’re holding on too that pretending can’t solve.

“Jungkook I’m not any good at this.” You gesture around eyes starting to sting when you watch how other people have fun while you argue. “You just go have fun with your Leni or Lena whatever.” You act like you aren’t sure of her name.

It’s the way you say it, the force and strain in the word. The way you look to the crowd in a jittering stare looking for her that let’s jungkook know what this is all about. Did it come off like that? She’s just a girl he met whilst skiing, he honestly never thought that far. Never thought you’d be thinking of it.

“Is this because of her?” he questions eyebrows furrowed trying to look at your face that’s staring down. Why the hell are this shoe laces so hard to untie. you just want to cut them off, but you’d probably have to pay for damages. Shit

Your frustration is replaced with another type of embarrassment, when jungkook is on his knee to replace his hands with yours to help you take the laces off. You just want the ground to swallow you right now. Unlike you Jungkook’s calmness is able to take the laces off. He tries to help you into your other shoes but you just brush him off. He moves.

Standing up and looking at you he asks. Voice calm like usual. “Is it?” you’d even forgotten his previous question. Do you have to answer him?

“I don’t know how it would be when you two are off to the other side of the ring. I’ve barely talked to her.” That’s exactly the problem why the heck do you feel like this when you haven’t gotten to know the girl. You barely know her intentions.

“It is.”

You groan rolling your eyes. “If you want help skating, I can help you. I’m sorry that I got carried away.” It’s probably one of the things you’re mad about. He just fucking left you like you didn’t make plans to come here together. Yeah, maybe your attitude made the distance between you, but he should know how to deal with it by now. Gosh you’ve been together for a good 3 years. He should know how you are.

And he does. That’s why he insists you’re acting like this cause of Lena. well, she’s probably just a catalyst and there’s something deeper that you two have to address.

You stand looking up at him, but he’s towering figure doesn’t make you as intimidating as you want to feel. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything, why? Cause you always know what you’re doing.”

“You know it’d be better if you just said it directly.” Whatever it is, because he wants to know. You want to walk past him but his hand around your wrist stops you. You look at it then at him. He’s not smiling, but not mad. Just concerned.

“I don’t--I’m not saying anything.” You snatch it form his grip and he lets you.

Jungkook’s face scrunches up in frustration. “That’s what you always say, then pull shit like this.”

You pause and stare at right in his--round eyes that are now, siren. “Shit like what?”

“This. Your fucking attitude.” He almost loses his tone but remembers that you’re in public, which is so fucking embarrassing. “You never want to talk about things.” He looks around for any watching eyes.

You just glare at him. Maybe you don’t like expressing yourself to him anymore. You’ve noticed it too. It had been hard for you to express yourself to him over a call, and sometimes shitty network. There had been days where you wanted to cry on his shoulders but only had the screen to rely on, so guess what you did. Nothing. You didn’t cry, you didn’t tell him anything. You’d just cry on your pillow after the call ends. “Maybe I don’t cause I know you won’t listen.”

That’s a hit to his ego. To him as a person.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I always listen to you.” The blank look on your face has him questioning himself. “of course, I’m not perfect.”

You chuckle bitterly.

“Just go off to your little girlfriend.” And there it is, a confirmation of what he already knew.

You start walking to the entrance. And he follows. Shoes on. He’s not going to be able to skate with the heaviness in his heart. He’d end up sinking into the ice, which doesn’t sound so bad right now. “Come on.” He swiftly moves to standing Infront of you. He blocks you from moving and you just give up and just decide to look at his jaw, not wanting to look directly at him. Which was not a good idea, cause of how he clenches it. You look up into his eyes. “you’re jealous?”

“Who?” he’s a parrot and now you’re an owl, he wants to say but finds it inappropriate for your mood.

“You are so jealous.”

“I’m no-”

“don’t lie to me.” You try to push at his chest for him to move out of your way, but your plan backfires giving him leeway to hold your hand firmly to his chest. Hard as a rock even through he’s sweater. “Tell me why you’re jealous.”

Instead of answering him directly you try to change the topic. You swear you can feel his heart beat through his sweater.

“Don’t act like I couldn’t see you jealous too when that guy approached me.” You try to one-up.

“I was jealous.” His confession has you wanting you dig a hole and hide yourself. It’s so easy for him to say, you weren’t even enjoying your conversation with that guy. “Difference with me is that I can say it.”

Shit. Shit. What do you say now. Get angrier, that always works, well not really.

“Whatever. I’m not jealous.” You look away from him. Are you really doing this in public. Jungkook doesn’t look like he gives a fuck right now, he just wants an answer. One which he’s not going to get.

“Tell me what you’re so jealous about?” his voice lowers

“How many times do I have to say I’m not jealous.” Till you can’t deny it anymore, the thought runs through Jungkook’s mind.  “Just go have your fun.” You finally decide you’re tired of feeling his heart beat perfectly.

“you’re so ridiculous y’know.” He watches you move slight away, anger not faltering one bit. You’re determined to being upset. “can’t we just talk about this. It seems to be bothering you.”

It is. It’s fucking gnawing at your heart, your lungs, your mind.

“Nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine.” You breathe in, relaxing and calming down just a bit. “I just don’t want to be out there all on my own, while you’re having fun with some else.” Jungkook licks his lip. He doesn’t have anything else to say. What he has to say can’t be said here or whilst you’re unable to hear.

“I’m going home.” You pass by him and he doesn’t bother turning to watch you walk out.

“Korea?” it’s possible for you to want to leave. And the thought causes him to bite down hard on his bottom lip. Cause if you leave on these terms, nothing’s gonna change and he’d never get another chance. You’d avoid him like the plague.

“No, the cabin.” You state and he’s relieved. “Have fun.”

“Everything okay?” jungkook is startled by Lena’s voice who walked around to find him after she noticed he was gone.

“Yeah.” You force a smile. “I’ll just get going.” He informs her. He already has his stuff so there’s no need for him to go back inside. “Thanks for getting us in, though we didn’t even stay long.”

“No problem. It was fun, wish I got to talk to her.”

“Yeah, she isn’t normally like that.” Cause you aren’t.

“I understand.”

You don’t immediately go to the cabin. Instead, you go to the sauna you had been eyeing. It could probably be the only way to relax you. The sweat dripping down will mask the real tears falling down your face. You’re glad you’re alone right now.

You have your head leaned back thinking about what had just previously happened. The thoughts not wanting to leave you.

You hear the door open but you don’t bother looking, you’ve got a lot to think about. “hey stranger..” the familiar voice speaks just as shocked. You sharply open your eyes. Wondering if it’s you he’s speaking to but you’re just the two of you in here.

You’re just the two of you.

“didn’t expect to find you here.” He says setting himself down just in front of you and you looking at him oddly. Do you have bad luck?

“hmm” you chuckle awkwardly. You make a plan to gradually scoot yourself to the door. Being with him here does make you uncomfortable but you try to stay to enjoy what’s left of your time. You expect silence but the man doesn’t see on the same level. “Went to the Lindt factory like you said. Was honestly the best of everything.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” you say like you’re a worker at the factory or care.

“It would’ve been better if you came too.”

You awkwardly chuckle and finally decide to sit up. You came here to think and relax but this guy couldn’t be more of a bother. “I’m sure I would’ve just made it worse.”

He chuckles and smiles your way. A smile you do not reciprocate “I doubt.”

“Is your friend around?” Now you should fucking leave.

“Mm?” you ask like you didn’t hear. Fucking sirens are blaring. He’s not giving off I’m gonna leap at your vibe. It’s more of his inability to give up that bugs you. “Oh- ahh yeah. He’s gonna be here.”

He turns to look at the door like Jungkook’s about to walk through the door, but he doesn’t. gosh you wish he would. “isn’t it hard to have male friends like him.” You look at him brows furrowed, confused. You wait for him to elaborate and he’s quick to it. “Protective.” He says.

“how?”

“makes it hard for you to live your live and get to know people.” You laugh. it’s not like jungkook has his hands on you and pulling you away from people who want to talk to you. He’s actually for it but he just has a good discernment of creeps. As you sit here you reflect on his words from before when you initially met the guy. Gosh you should really start listening to jungkook. Makes you realize how right he is—sometimes--

“no.” your tone is sharp that the soft one you’d been giving him.

He shakes his head. He lifts his hands in defence saying, “I think he’s doing too much.” Now you’re getting upset, visibly so, which is not lost to the man. Who the fuck does he thinks he is. He’s the one doing too much, “I’m not some weirdo, I promise.” He hasn’t shown any signs of it yet, but you don’t give a fuck and you’re not gonna wait around for him to show it.

“I think you’re doing too much.” You snare abruptly standing up. He can tell the irritation on your face and is about to defend himself but you’re quick to cutting in. you’re not about to have it.

“I don’t know how your long your trip is but if you see me around, please don’t speak to me.”

“Wait.” You don’t.

Sauna time done you decide to go back to the cabin, feeling anything but relaxed. Daylight already lost.

Today has honestly knocked you out, as though you’ve done anything energy straining. It’s more of an emotional strain. When you walk in jungkook isn’t anywhere to be seen. So, you just assume he never got back. Makes you wonder where the hell he is and why he didn’t tell you, but you’re in no place to convict him cause you never informed him of your sauna endeavours as well. You’re both grown adults and can move around Switzerland without the other—but—why do you feel entitled to know where he is. You lost those privileges when you broke up and now when you left him at the rink.

Maybe a steamy shower will do what the sauna didn’t finish cause of you interruption. After that you decide to end your night early, you’ve got nothing to do after all.

you toss and turn in bed, barely able to get a linear sleeping time. Everything just feels so weird and off. Even worse than in the beginning. It’s all a different type of awkward, which you hate. Jungkook isn’t sleeping next to you which prompts you to checking the time.

1:39am your phone tells you.

Where the hell is he, you’re starting to get scared. You’re not worried about his safety cause jungkook is very capable in that sector, --well unless he got shot—shot?  Why are thinking of that. Who’d fucking shot him, let alone in Switzerland. He’s never been in any trouble with the law or anyone. You’re getting paranoid, if you don’t see jungkook in the flesh, well and not wounded, you’re gonna lose your mind.

Putting on the sweater that has been a staple and carried you through the trip you walk out the bedroom to the open floor living room. you sigh when you don’t spot jungkook. You won’t be able to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. Cause you don’t feel like it and are losing your mind. As you’re standing in the living room like an anxiety ridden mom waiting for their teenager child at midnight, you hear it. It’s wood chopping sounds. Harsh and fast. You do have some cabins around you so it could be your neighbours—but no--the sound is closer to yours, like it’s just outside. So, you curiously walk to the door which would lead you closer to the sound. Maybe you aren’t as afraid cause you assume it’s jungkook. And it is.

You relax when you spot his figure well and healthy.

He doesn’t notice as you stand watching him. bottom lip chewed down on. Why the hell is he chopping wood at 1 in the morning.

You want to say something. You need to. Maybe apologize about what happened at the rink, you have a fair share in the argument. Since waking up or maybe after the sauna you realized how childish your behaviour was. You ruined the moment. When you could’ve just asked jungkook to help you and he would’ve been there, hadn’t you chosen to give into your irritation. Irritation of seeing him with a woman. There you said it.

His muscles flex as he moves to drop the axe down on the wood.

This is not what you want for you and jungkook. Arguing and not able to talk or share air. It’s not what you want. Even if things do officially end, you’d want to end it on calm and friendlier terms.

As you watch him you notice how his jaw tightens. He’s not just chopping wood. You start to worry for him when his movements grow harsher, of the larger chunk of wood.

“What did the wood do to you?” you try to be neutral.

He didn’t notice you behind him. So, he’s startled by the sound of your voice. Turning to look at you holding yourself in the door way, he chooses to take a break. He got so carried away he forgot he was cutting wood for the fire place and had cut too much. He drops the axe into snow. “Ditched me at the ice rink.” He says going to pick up some pieces of wood to bring inside.

Fuck you feel so bad. You stay silent watching him until he’s brought all the wood in and finally closing the door. Which allows for the warmth from the now blazing fire to fill the house. Now in warmer climate, jungkook takes off his large sweater and you drop your arms that were still wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry about that.” You mumble softly. He stands at the sink, you assume to make himself something warm.

“it’s okay, it’s not like I went all the way to stay in touch with some girl so she could get me—us--a good deal at the ice rink. Then I take you there and you ditch the thing entirely.”

You do feel horrible about to, but his tone irritates you causing you to respond as just that. Which you immediately regret.

“I left you with her, weren’t you happy with that.” You have an interesting way of saying things that bother you.

Jungkook pauses his actions and stares at you with a seriously confused face. He scoffs. You’re not making sense. “You know that’s not what I wanted.” He returns to his mug. “I wanted to spend it with you.” His voices calms.

Fuck. Uhm what do you say. You should probably say you’re sorry. “I’m sorry.”

Jungkook just listening. He just doesn’t understand, he wishes you could just be straight forward. Frustrated and tired of hiding behind a task, he drops the cup to give you, his attention.

“Did I say something wrong?” you stand where you are but jungkook moves. To you. You panic but he doesn’t walk closer than a few feet from you. You don’t know how you’d handle yourself if he came any closer. At the rink you almost died. “At the rink?” he clarifies like you’re not fully aware. He just wants to make sure that you’re on the same page. Cause you can think of other times he might have feared he’d said something wrong.  “I honestly shouldn’t even have started talking to her.” He rubs a hand over his face.

Jungkook has never been malicious to you in your friendship before or relationship. Or even now. He’s been cordial. He’s the only man who’s treated so well and calmingly. Of course he has his imperfections, you both do. But it doesn’t take from how well he’s treated you. He never crosses a line.

“it’s not even that.” You’re looking off to the side and holding yourself again,

Gosh, he’s really holding himself right now. He bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw to hold himself back from just walking up to you and making you look him in the eyes. “Then what’s wrong. Please talk to me.” He pleads.

“I don’t know,” you whisper still looking beyond him, your voice is barely audible.

He’s begging, really for you to just tell him something. “Please don’t say that.” He responds, his tone a mix of frustration and pleading. He steps closer just a few centimetres away, if you unfolded your arms you’d probably bump into his chest.

“I don’t-” you start but your voice cuts you off, “it’s the way you-” you aren’t able to finish. What are you going to do with yourself. This is embarrassing, you can barely form or organize your thoughts and your mouth can barely move to speak. You’re not even going to talk about how hard it is for you to look him in the eyes. You just settle with staring at his other supporting features. His hair, his ears (that are red from what you assume is frustration—it’s not--), his eyebrows and then you skip to look at his nose--

“was it me talking to that girl?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You push away slightly.

“But we have--you know what--I want to.” He moves to block your action of walking away. You thought you were strong enough. You thought you’d manage to talk about this. But you can’t. not when it makes you want to cry.  “I want to talk about it.” His voice is stern but not harsh. It’s just strong enough to let you know he’s not letting this go. It’s funny how something so insignificant can cause you to be in this situation. Forced to express and confront your emotions, the one’s you’ve been running from since the trip began, the one’s you told yourselves you’d pretend didn’t exist. You fooled yourselves by dodging the topic.

Now you’re here. “While we’re at it we can talk about why you broke up with me.” He’s not asking if you can talk about it, he’s telling you it has to be talked about and he’s not gonna let it go by. Not this time.

At his words, all your emotions unite to form a single unit of defence. “me? you agreed too.” You point at him face scowling.

“I only did cause it’s what you wanted, and I didn’t want to hold you back.”

You stare confused. “Hold me back from what?” what the fuck does he think you’ve been doing. You hope he doesn’t think you’ve been out and about since breaking up, that’s been the last thing on your mind.

“From living the life, you wanted to, without me.” His upset at the thought leading his voice to come out a little passive aggressive.

He does think that, you can see it. “Without you? I don’t want that.” You state. “But how can I live a life with you when you’re miles away, always busy. And can barely visit.” You just talk. Finally, your gears are moving. But the problem is that so are the tears. “You moving away is you choosing to live without me too.” You choke on your words a little. “Even I didn’t want to tie you to me or hold you back from your dreams that’s why I tried to li- live with it, but it got so unbearable kook. I couldn’t take it. it felt like I was alone. In fact, I was alone.”

Jungkook feels sick hearing that you felt alone.

“You know I did try.” His voice is soft, moving himself into your circle. You let him. He can’t help himself but cup your cheek. The action feels comforting, almost relieving. At least he’s here and you’re not talking over the phone, makes it much easier for you to sink into his touch.

You hold the wrist that’s caressing your cheek. Gosh you want to keep his touch here forever. “I know that’s what hurts more you tried but it still wasn’t enough. I really did want it to work. I still do.” On your last sentence you look up at him and he’s already staring at you, the thump of his other hand coming swiftly to wipe your stray tears. You sniffle. “Cause honestly I’ve missed you kook.” You feel comforted playing with the end of his sweater.  “So much. I miss how we were before you moved. When it was easier for us to be together.” your fingers take a journey from the bottom of his sweater to the neck.

Your palms lay flat on his chest and his hands move to softly hold your wrist, not to move you away but you keep there.

“I know we said we’d pretend. A-and I thought I could. But I can’t kook.” On cue with his name, you look up at him. “fuck- I never knew how much I hate seeing you talk to other—" you can’t finish your sentence, but it’s okay cause he’s finished for you in his mind. “I’m sorry for attitude.”

He glides his hands from your wrists down your arms until they are both on your waist. “I’m sorry too.” He’s pulling you closer, your hands still on his chest, but now for stability. “I’m so sorry I was too distracted for you. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t serve that.” He’s caressing your back. “okay?” you have to answer but you can only bring yourself to nodding. All he’s ever wanted was to know. Know what was wrong and how he could fix it.

“I’ve missed you too.” He smiles lightly bringing his nose to brush against yours. The action has you tilting your head upwards. His lips itch to touch yours, but they don’t they just hover, he still has more to say. And he wants to say it close enough for you to feel it. “If only you knew how I dreaded every morning and realized you weren’t next to me. Every time I just wanted to fly back home.”

“So, what stopped you.” You’re looking at his lips. his rosy and moist lips from how hard he’s been biting and licking on that. You wanna do that. You wanna kiss him, wanna be the only biting down on his lips.  you wanna do a lot of things right now. You wanna run your hands through his hair remind yourself of its texture, you wanna lift that sweater off, that holds his cologne so well, the earthy lavender scent, that crawls its way through your system. You wanna take that sweater off him, --feel, see—just how much that gym membership as proved itself valuable. You know you won’t be disappointed, jungkook loves the fucking gym.

“I don’t even know. But all I know is that it’s not gonna stop me anymore.” Him nudging his nose closer has you tilting your head to meet his lips. the air between you feels heavy. The feeling pulling your lips to meet. And when the do, it’s fervent. His kiss is urgent but slow, not wanting to be apart from you for a second.

 Your bodies are hooked together as Jungkook is moving you back into a wall. The kiss intensifies when he leans your head back with his hand around your neck. You’re gripping onto his sweater for support and breathing him in for life.

Jungkook clings onto your lips for life too, even if he needs to breath he doesn’t stop. You moaning into his mouth will suffice. He doesn’t know where to keep his hands. Should he use them to tilt your head back to deepen the kiss, (if he goes any deeper he’s gonna sink.) whilst he uses the other to pull you leg up by your thighs, his grip surely leaving crescent moons as decorations. He doesn’t know what to do with them. For the moment he uses them to pull he sweater over his head. You’ve been clawing at it to come off.

Now shirtless you can feel his skin for what you remember it to be silky-smooth. So delicate that you fear leaving scratch marks on him, but jungkook encourages it, he begs you to do it. Your hands roam his body, first his large back, muscles flexed, then down his firm chest then down to his defined midsection. “What am I to do with all this.” You say breathless.

“You tell me. It’s all yours.” Your lips are meeting again. Tongues tagging at each other. For some reason the rich, sweet and completely irresistible taste of chocolate lingers on your lips, but he loves it and is drinking it up.

Jungkook finds that his hands are better at gripping your thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. His core moves into you and you feel how hard he is against you. You’re thankful for his thin pajama pants.

Your hands pull at the root of his hair, though it’s shorter you make it work, making him groan into your mouth. You both can’t fucking breath at this point, which is the only reason you’re pulling away. Your heavy breaths brushing against each other.

“jungk-” you’re moaning for him to take you to bed but he’s steps ahead of you. Your feet don’t have to fret cause he’s lifting you by the thighs to lay you on the edge of the bed.

You lay back on the bed but legs on his shoulder, he’s kneeling between your legs. Your pants are still on but not for long. In a swift motion you’re left in your plain black panties. The ones with the little bow. He chuckles at the detail. When you see what he’s laughing at you get self conscious. Jungkook looks up at you confused why you’re closing your legs.

“I didn’t know we’d be in this position, so these are the one I brought.” You try to explain yourself cheeks blushing red. He doesn’t know why you’re so insecure about the detail. He loves them.

For a quick kiss he’s on his feet hovering over you. “it’s okay, I like my gifts wrapped in bows.” He smirks and the comment has you calling out his name in shock. peck. He’s back on his knees staring at your core. The bow is a detail he’ll miss but he’d gotta take them off. Fuck is all he can think when your cunt is right in front of him, wet. Is this where he’s meant to die, right in your cunt from suffocation cause he won’t be able to detach himself from you.

Your legs are planted on his shoulder, your ass just at the edge of the bed. When he first swipes his tongue through your folds, it takes you by surprise. Gosh you missed him being right there.

“fuck” you whimper the sound not being able to be masked. Your slick, probably mixed with his saliva, drips down your cunt, down his chin. His nose is so deep in it that some of your juices run up his nose. Is this how fucking cocaine sniffers feel?  He can’t wait till his cock is buried snuggly it. He sniffs in, on purpose this time, takin git once more. You grind on his face making him suck harder at your clit. You’re getting dizzy and gripping hard at the sheets. His nails dig into your thighs harshly, the pain causing pleasure.

Everything is so intense you can’t tell apart your orgasm. Fuck you can’t be coming this fast from just his tongue. Shit. “Jungkook. Don’t stop” You whine the intense feeling approaching quick, your walls tightening and fluttering around his tongue. Jungkook’s so carried away he only realizes you’re coming when your legs are shaking. He drinks everything that leaves and it’s only when you’re pulling his head back from overstimulation that he realizes he should take a breath. He’s starved can you blame him?

“you’re so gorgeous baby.” he says peppering kisses on your thighs. “Wanna do that again for me.” He’d absolutely would eat you out for a second time in a row. And you’d love that but you just want to feel him.

You’re moving up the bed and he’s hovering over you kissing your jaw. Your palms meet his ass in a teasing smack.

“Missed this ass.” You smile under him. jungkook just chuckles. you want to add on but his finger stuffing your tight cunt has you silent, gasping for air.

Jungkook smiles down at your pleasure strained face. “mm? not so talkative now?”

He thinks he’s got you. Then you slide down your hand down his abs, he knows where your hand travels and though it’ll destroy his ego, he lets you do it. “so big” you bite your bottom lip as you start stroking him, using your own juices as lubricate. He’s walls are falling. Your hand wrapped around him, has him burying his moans in the croak of your neck.

It’s a competition huh? he loves those second and fucking your cunt first.

You’re stroking him in his pants and he’s pumping his fingers in your cunt. He’s kissing you to hide his moans. It’s a fucking competition and he’s losing. He can’t lose. His hand leaves your cunt to grab at your wrist. You stop. He pulls you away from him. if you went on any longer, he’d be done for and the night wouldn’t end the way he wants. He hasn’t been touched in a year, unless it’s talking about those times you sexted, but it doesn’t count. It feels different when it’s your hands.

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“If you did that you wouldn’t have gotten the orgasms I have left for you.” You don’t respond. you won’t argue, you do want them.

His fingers are back to pumping and even sooner than before your climax approaches. He wishes he could count just how much you flutter around his finger but he’s too busy looking at your face, pleasure written all over it. and its pride that fills him, knowing he’s the one giving it to you.

Jungkook moves away and you watch how he licks his fingers clean. The way he smiles at you after, is disgustingly hot.

“Take off your pants.” You tell him.

“You take off your shirt.” He reciprocates, you’d forgotten you’d even been wearing anything.

Jungkook is spoiled by the sight before him, your chest sprawled out for him to taste. So, he leans down and wraps his tongue around a nipple. His hand lost at the other side. You love all the foreplay, really, but you want him. you’ve been thinking about it for forever.

“Jungkook.” You call. He hums saying you have his attention. “I want you.”

There’s nothing more he wants.

“Want you too baby.” He says grabbing his cock and aligning it with your entrance. Then he remembers.

“fuck” he whispers. You sit up and wander what has him holding back.

“what?”

“I don’t have a condom.” He knows he doesn’t have one, it’d be weird, it’s not like he was coming on this trip expecting to fuck you.

“Why?” he stares at you confused.

“I didn’t expect fucking to be on the itinerary.”

Oh yeah, you laugh at himself.

“Do you?”

“Nope. Why would I have them.” He just shrugs his shoulders.

He’s gonna lose it. “Are you on the pill?” it’s his only option.

That’s when you shake your head. “Got off when we broke up.”

Okay so what is he gonna do, his cock hard and your cunt right in front of him.

“Jungkook come on you can pull out.” You whine pulling him forward.

She shakes his head. “god no. I almost lost my mind from your hand. It’d lose it in your pussy.” You smile, you shouldn’t be laughing cause you won’t be able to fuck. But you just can’t help but smile at the fact that he almost lost himself just from your hand. You’ve got no clue on what to do. You really need to fuck him.

“Wait--” he looks at you. “This is a lover’s cabin.” You say but he waits for you to elaborate and make sense.

“wouldn’t they have condoms in the cupboard or something.” He didn’t think of that.

So, as you stand you walk over to the cupboard roughly open it almost tipping it over. “Bingo!” you celebrate pulling out a long string of condoms. Your saving grace.

You carefully pull out one and toss it to jungkook.

“Relax aren’t they the one’s you usually use,” you say when you see the look on his face. They do look like they’ve just been purchased and placed. He’s so thankful right now. He leans against the head board and you watch how he gracefully he strokes himself and slips it on, your mouth drools but you’re too needy. You’ll do that another day.

“Come ride cow girl.” He welcomes you when he’s all done. You stretch your legs over him, centering yourself. His hands are quick to spread across your ass, landing a light tap.

He helps you centre himself at your entrance. His brows scrunch together when he feels your tight warmth slide down him. he definitely isn’t going to last long, maybe he’ll hold on till you come but after that is not promised.

His hand loosely holds at your throat, just enough to tilt it back slightly and leave wet kisses and marks everywhere on your skin.

You sliding up and down him feels great but he couldn’t help himself but move his fingers to touch your clit. In pure pleasure you’re wrapping your arms around him and kissing him. you love this position, how he nudges at your back, how intimate it feels, the way you’re so close after being so far away. The cold is barely in mind. Jungkook can’t express how much he’s missed you.

You love it.

But what you love more is how he pulls at your hair, just softly. “Love fucking my cock huh?” he asks but you’re unable to answer his hips jutting up into you with great speed. Jungkook could get carried away with the way your boob bounce but he chooses to say focus. “You like that huh?” he smirks but your eyes are closed, the pleasure of his intense strokes taking you out.

“Yeah, love fucking you kook.” You whimper out.

He’s thrusting harder and you’re moaning louder. “you look so pretty taking me baby. Wanna fuck you forever.”

You wish you.

Your body melts into his as you’re coming again, jungkook fucking into you for his own high which follows after yours. When he catches his breath, he’s laying you down and beside you just after throwing the filled condom.

“I’m gonna get the bath started.” He says planting a quick kiss on your shoulder.

You’re too drained to stand so when he’s back to come get you you’re dozing off. “come on baby I’ve got to get you cleaned up.”

You groan. “Then after a I can make you cocoa.”

“I’m so tired kook.” You whine.

“I knowww.” he coos. Next thing you know he’s lifting you, bridal style. “it’s okay I’ve got you.”

“Hmm. Don’t move.” Jungkook whines when you threaten to stand and start your day. You two have already slept in because of your late-night endeavours.

“I have to kook. We have so much for our day.”

“Ugh! Fine. But first give me your hand.” He demands the action has you confused but you give it to him. when he has it, he’s giving you a billion kisses. “I love you.” He doesn’t think it’s too soon cause—well he doesn’t know it just felt right to say.

“I love you too now let me go.” He makes sure not to unhand you until you say it more ‘meaningfully’ according to him.

---

You and jungkook decided to retry ice skating (you were hell bent on not going skiing.)

As you’re skating jungkook slides to the half wall, after telling you he has to take a call. You shoo him away after telling you’ll be fine alone (for the meantime).

“Any news?” jungkook was nervous when he got the call from Namjoon. This is a very important call from him, it determines what the hell he’s gonna choose. Quit or get transferred.

“Yeah. it’s been approved.” Jungkook is still for a moment.

“Seriously?” it almost feels like a dream.

“Yeah, had to do a lot of convincing but they agreed.” He’s so grateful for Namjoon. He’s gonna miss him. Jungkook looks over to you, gliding not great but better, and you’re smiling this time. So, he’s happy. You’re happy.

“Thank you, man,”

Namjoon smiles, he knows how much this means. “No problem.” The call cuts.

This just seals a lot “kook look out.” He pockets his phone and as he’s turning to you, you slam into him. You haven’t gotten to the knowing how to stop just yet. Maybe next time.

“You okay, baby.” He says holding onto you by your waist

You let out a dramatic breath that has him smiling. “Yeah, but I’m getting kinda tired.” You say out of breath and letting your weight fall into his arms.

“I’m getting hungry too.” You’ve spent a good amount of time ice skating so you decide to leave it for next time.

--

“what’s the plan for tonight.” He asks as you eat.

“Hmm. For the first time I don’t know.” You both laugh. “We could go out for dinner—ohhh the hot tub--.” You forgot about it cause none of you ever wanted to use it, honestly you didn’t even expect the place to have a hot tub.

“I like the sound of that.”

The steam of the hot tub hovers lazily on the surface of the water. The steam curls around jungkook as his gaze locks on you. Body dry cause you haven’t gotten in yet. You walk onto the deck, the dim but still bright enough lights radiant off your skin, as though the sun has come to pay him a visit at night.

His breath is caught.

The bikini hugs you in all the ways that made his thoughts falter, the curves of your body illuminated by the soft glow of the light. He swallows hard, his mouth dry despite being surround by water. You make him weak, so much that he looks only at you, even though your attention is else were. You try to find a place to hook your towels.

And then you turn around to smile at him in victory of finding a place to hang them. He nods acknowledging but no paying attention.

He leans back slightly, the water lapping at his shoulders as his eyes roam you, mesmerized. There’s some thing unworldly about you, something he can’t quite put into words. It wasn’t just the way you looked, that made him trip for you. It was the way you carried yourself, the way your body swayed as you moved closer to him.

His arms immediately reach out to envelope you. “Enjoying the view?” you tease, your voice relaxing into the tub and his warmth.

The chuckle he releases is low, “you know I am.”

Your giggle like a melody. You wrap your arms around him and he loses his stability for a second before regaining it. “careful.” He murmurs to you, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I might drown.”

“I wouldn’t want that.” you peck his lips.

You relax for a while just taking in the night and each other presence.

Jungkook has been meaning to ask, the question eating at his mind.  “Do you want to go back to Korea with me?” it sounds like a dumb question, you came together so you will be leaving together.

But the double meaning lies within and he’s desperate to know your answer.

“What are you saying?” you coo at him. “Aren’t we already going back together.” You’re talking about the tangible stuff, the tickets, the plane, the flying, even the landing and going home. But he doesn’t mean that.

After pecking your shoulder water sticking to his lips, he explains. “I don’t mean physically.”

You stare down at him eyes softening. “kook” you realize the seriousness of his question. And for a second jungkook senses scepticism. So, he panics.

“If it’s bout my job, I’m working on it.” His voice is quick.

That was a fear of yours, even more that he wouldn’t want to move. Jungkook has thought about it, the move was a rush decision he never spoke to anyone about it to ask their opinion or whatever. And honestly the move didn’t bring him much joy, besides the opportunity to adventure Jeju. But apart from that he was away from his family, his friends and you. Everything that made his life.

“Seriously?” you say more shocked than anything else.

“Yeah, Namjoon called me. My transfer got approved.”

 You gasp the water swashing from your movement. “don’t lie to me”

He laughs. “I’m not.”

“I thought you said getting it approved is hard.” You’re finding this so hard to believe.

“It is, I guess I got lucky.”

You squeal moving in to hug him.

“When did you start all this.” It’s along process so he had to start early.

“Honestly before we broke up. I wanted to surprise you if it got approved. But then-” you shush him from going on further.

“So, what would have you done if it didn’t get approved.” Your tone drops.

Jungkook sighs looking around in thought. “would’ve fucking quit.” it’s funny how easy the idea is for him, former him would have struggled with the question. “I’m tired of being so far from you.”

“Same.” He places a longer and soft kiss on your lips.

“So, you wanna go back with me?” His voice is playful, as he looks up at you through wet lashes.

“Mhm.” You smile, leaning slightly closer to him, your fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. “I wanna go everywhere with you.”

The words hang in the air for a moment, warm and intimate, as his lips lifts into a small, boyish grin. “We can arrange that.”

Jungkook doesn’t mind being patched to your side like a little purse dog. In fact, the way he leans into you now, his hand slipping around your waist as if it were second nature, says he’d prefer it. His thumb grazes your hip absentmindedly, a small gesture that feels both possessive and endearing.

“I’m gonna miss it.” you say leaning into Jungkook's shoulder with a pout. You wait patiently for your flight. “Feels like we just started the trip.”

Jungkook reaches over to cup your hand in his. He then interlocks your fingers and brings it to his lips; the action causes you to smile softly. He really likes to do that. It’d never been a trait of his before, so you’re intrigued, to why he does it all of a sudden. “We can come back one day. together.”

“Yeah together.” You reassure. You like this. Like having him with you.

[3 months later]

“Jimin if you’re gonna wear that to my fucking wedding you’re not coming.” You announce to a jimin too focused on the light blue suit he’s in. in the mirror you can spot his cheeky grin. He’s not gonna wear a freaking light blue suit, it’s not on the colour scheme, plus he doesn’t like how it makes him look.

He turns to look at jungkook who’s standing on his own pedestal looking into the mirror. Touching and teasing at the suit. “Jungkook you’re not gonna let her do that right?.” Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders at jimin. He’s not pleased with the answer. He knew the dude was down bad, but not this down bad. “Bro!”

“she’s the boss.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender and you smirk in your seat.

“Come on man…standup.” he fists at Jungkook who just laughs. As Jimin is stepping out to get out of the suit (he stayed so long in it you thought he might actually want to wear it.) and get changed, you swat him with a magazine and he’s quick to running out not wanting you to land another hit.

Now alone in the dressing room you walk up to jungkook. You lean your chin on his shoulder, your hands finding there way to his chest. He welcomes them with his own. “You look so handsome.” Your voices hums sweetly by his ear. Jungkook lifts up both of your hands to place soft and warm kisses on them. The action has you blushing red. The ring on your finger and indication of why he liked to do it before. Plus, now, he just enjoys it., it makes you blush and he likes that.

“Mhm.” He hums against your wrists. “You like it?”

“I love it.” You take a hundredth glance at a preview of what he might wear at your wedding. If he chooses it’s what he wants. You love the cut on him. the colour complimenting his skin, and the style shows off his physique, not too much, but not too little. But all the buttons on the vest and shirt are gonna give you some trouble undoing.

Jungkook stares at you completely enamoured at the way you’re looking at it. You should be looking at him like that. “I think you might love the suit more than me.” He turns abruptly causing you to fall into his chest. He catches and keeps you stable with his firm hand on your lower back.

You place one hand on his chest and the other around his neck, bringing you much closer. “I might just.” Your lips could meet easily with how close you are. But you don’t move them and jungkook pouts at how you deny him the opportunity.

“I’m gonna take it off, not gonna let you love it more.” He nudges his nose with yours.

“Take it off.”

“Jeon Yn! I forgot how freaky you are.” You roll your eyes at how he’s already given you his last name, you like the sound of it though. Reminds you of how real this is, you’re not dreaming.

Trying to tease him more you move by his ear to whisper, “Not here though.”

Jungkook is biting his lower lip. “We should hurry then.” he moves to kiss your shoulder, your off-the-shoulder top giving him leeway to kiss your skin directly. He peppers more kisses from your shoulder to your neck before  you get carried away you’re prompting for him to turn around. He does, though reluctantly.

You giggle.

“Do you like it though?” your voice turns serious, as much as you like it and how you just want to see him in it the whole day. If he likes it matters.

“Yeah, it makes me look so…husband.” He smiles boyishly as he winks at you in the mirror.

“Oh-gosh.” You push yourself away from him to get back to your seat. You’re not gonna be here all day.

He turns to face you. Still standing on the pedestal. “When do I get to see you in your dress” His teeth play with his lip ring as he asks curiously. The thought of you in the gown exciting him.

“When I walk down the aisle.” You stare blankly, no room for discussion. And he doesn’t, you’ve been quite stern about him not seeing you in any bridal wear until the wedding. Which he doesn’t mind, he can wait.

“Make sure it’s a ball gown so that I can slip under and hide.” He gestures his hands to elaborate what he means.

You shake your head. It’s not your style, maybe when you were a child, but you’ve grown. “I’m not wearing a ball gown.”

Ditching the jacket, he places it next to you and stands closing your legs between his. He lowers himself so your nose is touching his. His arms trap you between him and the couch. You didn��t think he was not gonna get that kiss right? He kisses you softly, then again. Then a little harder the third time, this one lasting seconds longer. You hold on his waist for stability. He kisses you once more just for the sake.

“I’m very sure you’ll look divine in whatever you pick, baby.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: so that's that. I hope I've fixed your broken heart from I-redo. there are scenes that i couldn't fit in. Yes of course there are other activities they did, but if i wrote it all it would be boring and too long and would probably be pushed to next month. i wish i could've written more fluff but idk.

i will allow for story drabble request if you guys want that.

but yeah thanks, for reading, liking and commenting. much love. wishing you a happy new year.

story idea copyright of keen-li, 30.12.24

[kiwisandpearls]

Bird in a Cage

Platonic Yandere! Batfamily x Gn! Adult! Reader

summary: You move back into Gotham after years of living in your own.

warnings: not entirely proofread, batfamily acting generally suspicious, reader uses they/them pronouns, implications of obsessive/stalking behavior, implications of yandere activities, let me know if I need to add more

Part 1

You sighed, staring out of the window of the vacant bus you were riding in. You were returning home, back to Gotham City; after being gone for what felt like so long yet so short of time.

You didn't have any good reason to be moving back into Gotham. There weren't any good job opportunities for you and you were living pretty ok back at your old place, but for some reason, you just wanted to return to your home city. Maybe you were feeling nostalgic, maybe you wanted to feel close to your family, maybe you wanted a change of pace; regardless of the reason, you couldn't really just turn back now. And it's not like you really wanted to.

Speaking of your family, your mind started to wander to the last time you had seen them in person. It felt like it happened so long ago yet yesterday at the same time.

After loading the last of the boxes, you were checking over everything, making sure everything was accounted for when you felt a large calloused hand on your shoulder.

"I suppose you're ready now?" A familiar gravely voice questioned behind you. You turned around to meet the blue-eyed gaze of Bruce Wayne: your adoptive father. He was never really one to show emotion but after living with him for a few years you were more easily able to pick up on what he was feeling.

“Yup, just checking to make sure I have everything,” You said, turning around to fully face your father. You gave him a soft smile before leaning forward and hugging him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your head into his chest.

“I’m gonna miss you, dad,” you whispered. You felt Bruce stiffen before awkwardly hugging you back.

“I’ll miss you too,” you heard Bruce murmur. Someone cleared their throat behind you, causing you to look up, only to meet your oldest brother’s, Dick Grayson’s, gaze. Behind him were your other siblings, Jason, Tim, Cass, Duke, and Damian.

“What? About to leave without even saying bye to your own siblings?” Dick teased. You huffed and rolled your eyes before turning around to hug him.

“Of course not,” You said. You turned your head to your other siblings, motioning for them to join in on the hug. Cass and Duke immediately joined in on the hug while Tim and Jason hesitantly followed. You looked at Damian who was awkwardly standing off to the side next to Bruce, his arms crossed.

“That means you too, Dami,” You teased. Damian stiffened before whispering a small ‘tt’ under his breath and joining in on the hug.

You were snapped out of thoughts when you felt the bus stop. This was your stop. With nothing more than a small grunt you wordlessly got out of your seat, quietly thanked the bus driver, exited the bus, and then started to make your way to what would be your new home in an apartment complex.

As you made your way to the apartment complex, the thought of getting in touch with your family and telling them that you had moved back into Gotham did not once cross your mind.

You groaned and rubbed your eyes as you sat up from your uncomfortable sleeping position on the couch one of your friends had offered to you as you were preparing to move. You looked around and noted you still had a lot of boxes you needed to empty. 

By the time you arrived at your apartment building, the only thing you could do was take all of your boxes from the moving truck and promptly go to sleep on the couch. 

As you sat on the couch, assessing where to start unpacking, your stomach rumbled. You could’ve ignored it, but you also knew it wouldn’t do you much good to unpack on an empty stomach. So with a sigh and a grunt, you got off the couch, stretched, grabbed your coat off the side of the couch, grabbed your keys, and then left your room, locking the door behind you.

You remembered spotting a small cafe on the bus ride to your apartment complex, so with no other options, you decided to go there. It didn’t seem too far, after all.

When you first entered the cafe, the smell of coffee and sweets hit you like a freight train. When it was your turn to order you didn’t order much, just a coffee and a bagel. As you sat down with your order and started to sip on your coffee, it hit you that back when you were growing up, you had never been in this section of Gotham. In fact, you never really even left the Manor. It’s not like you ever felt you needed to, you didn’t have many friends and most of what you needed was provided to you.

When you left the Manor and started living on your own, it was a struggle at first, but you actually started talking to people. Making friends and subsequently going out with those friends. It was hard times and you missed your family, but those years of living on your own outside of Gotham was something you’d never trade for anything.

“…(Y/n)? Is that you?” A very familiar voice snapped you out of your contemplation. You rose your head up to see the voice calling to you belonged to one of your very own brothers; Tim Drake. Despite the fact that it had been a few years since you were actually able to look at him in person, he didn’t actually look that different from the last time you saw him. His hair was a little longer, sure, but he was still your older brother. Still Tim Drake.

“Tim,” was all you were able to get out as you nearly bolted out of your seat. After an awkward second of silence you added, a bit more composed this time, “it’s been such a long time since I last saw you.”

Tim chuckled and gave you a quick hug before sitting down, with you following after him and sitting back down in your seat.

“Yeah, you bet,” He said. Suddenly his smile slightly faltered.

“I didn’t know you were coming back to Gotham. Did you tell any of the others about this?” Tim asked.

As you absentmindedly took a bite of your bagel you were about to say yes when it hit you that you had, in fact, not told any of your family that you’d be moving back into Gotham. Quickly swallowing your bite of the bagel, you groaned an “oh no” before pinching the bridge of your nose, your eyes shut tight. You heard Tim sigh.

“God, I’m so sorry, it completely slipped my mind to tell you guys,” You apologized before lifting up your head and placing your hand over Tim’s, “the minute I get back home I’ll text the group chat, I promise.”

Tim flashed you a weird look, but didn’t say anything, just nodded his head. You found that you were now lacking your appetite, so you wrapped what was left of your bagel in a few napkins and got up, with Tim watching but not saying a thing, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I gotta get back home, need to unpack my things and deal with some other stuff. But, we can hang out later, right?” You hopefully asked. Tim’s unreadable expression melted away and he gave you a lopsided smile.

“Got it, take care of yourself,” Tim said. You nodded your head and promptly left the cafe.

Your first few days of living in Gotham were…a bit rough. Simultaneously unpacking all your things and looking for job opportunities while living off of tap water and ramen noodle packets wasn’t exactly fun, but it wasn’t much worse than when you first moved out.

As things started to calm down and you were able to land yourself a job interview at a place nearby, you decided to head to the grocery store for things other than microwaved ramen noodles.

Pushing your cart through the aisles and aisles of foods and other items, you took a second to look down at the small shopping list you had quickly written out for yourself, making sure that you got everything, when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around only to come face to face with your oldest brother, Dick Grayson. You fully turned around, noting that he also didn’t change that much from the last time you saw him.

“Oh, hey Dick, didn’t expect to see you around here. I thought you still lived in Blüdhaven,” you said. Dick simply chuckled before ruffling your hair, just like he used to do when you were still a kid.

“Nah, I do still live in Blüdhaven. I was just coming in to visit Bruce and the others. I actually didn’t expect to run into you, today,” Dick explained.

How would you run into me in this grocery store if you were just coming into Gotham to visit Bruce and the others…? was a question you wanted to ask, but you didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask, so you held your tongue.

“Oh, well. That’s nice,” You said, “sorry, Dick, but I really gotta hurry and pay for these. Maybe I can visit the Manor and we can—”

“How are you supposed to pay for those without your wallet?” Dick asked, innocently tilting his head. You furrowed your eyebrows at him before burying your hands into your coat pockets.

“What? No, I definitely have…” You trailed off as you realized your wallet was not in one of your pockets. You slumped your shoulders and groaned. Great. You went through all the effort to get the groceries and now you couldn’t even actually pay for them.

You heard Dick suppress a snicker before walking to stand next to you and put his hand on your shoulder.

“How about I pay for them?” Dick offered. You immediately straightened up and feverishly shook your head.

“Oh no, you don’t have to,” you tried to refuse. Dick’s smile fell and you could’ve sworn you felt his grip on your shoulder tightened a smidge.

“But I want to. You clearly can’t pay for them yourself on account of…y’know; no wallet,” Dick pressured. You pursed your lips and looked everywhere but Dick’s face before caving in and sighing.

“Ok, sure,” You mumbled. Dick’s cheery smile returned and he ruffled your hair once more before walking you to the cash register.

As you took your bagged groceries and went your separate ways, something dawned on you.

How did Dick even know you forgot your wallet if he just happened to run into you in the grocery store?

Yeah as you can see from the top of this, this is a multi chapter long fic lol. I did originally intent this to be a one-shot but with the way I was writing it it just felt kind of awkward for it to be one entire fic, so I’m splitting into chapters.

don’t expect like several more chapters after this lol, I’m probably only going to write one or two chapters after this, preferably only one

I may also upload this fic to ao3 but don’t immediately expect it to be on there

also yeah, sorry if there isn’t much actual yandere behavior, but I wanted this first chapter to be like, the build up, and I still did want to add faint little implications of the batfam’s yandere behavior but that might not have actually gone through in text so lol

[multifariousqueer]

can you write miles 42 having readers bank account, card ALL that on his phone and gets mad if she purchases shi with money he didint give her. its really crazy but its miles 42....what do you expect??? hehe

Sure love!!!

A/n: y’all I love you so much but I need you guys to start requesting regular miles fanfic pls. Although 42 miles owns my 🩷

It was just a simple necklace. It was the Vivienne Westwood necklace that you saw everyone around you wearing and wanted so badly. You knew Miles would get it for you in a heartbeat but a part of you wanted to get it for yourself. It had been a long, stressful semester but you struggled through it all and got to a point where ou were passing with A’s and B’s. Coincidentally, you had gotten a job at Starbucks after months of applying and you had about $1000 saved up of your own money that you were waiting to spend on something special. That was, until that “something special” came along in the form of Miles.

You never knew what he did but you knew he was making 8x your salary in a month. It seemed like anything you wanted, you got when you were with Miles; shoes, clothes, books, makeup any and everything you wanted, it was yours in a matter of days. It’s worth mentioning that Miles is extremely overprotective and wants to know everything about what you’re doing and buying because he loves you and cares about your habits.

Even on Miles’s birthday when you dipped into your savings to get him the latest Jordan’s, he was furious that you had to use your own money:

“Damn Ma, these are valid. How much were they?”

“Oh don’t worry about it” you said

“I said, how much were they.” His eyes narrowing in on you because he knew how much they were because he was gonna buy them 2 weeks ago but decided not to.

“$500. I’ve been saving for them for you, baby. It’s all good” you tried to assure him

“Aight. thank you.” He said, pulling you close to him, the scent of the Dior Sauvage cologne you also bought him, filling your nostrils

But deep down you knew he was pissed off and mad that you spent your own money, so after a long talk about how he should be able to keep tabs on you and keep you safe, you gave him your Apple Pay and banking info for emergencies only but of course it’s Miles and being the overprotective boyfriend he is, he checks it everyday for any “extravagant purchases” made by you or someone else.

Of course he isn’t crazy, he set a $25 limit for you before he steps in and asks what’s up. Once, you were at a mall with your friend and found the cutest shirt at Urban Outfitters and decided to buy it. The price tag read $50 but you went ahead and got it; the same happened at Bath and Body Works and Tilly’s and as you made your way to the bathroom, you got a text from Miles:

Miles: did someone take your card?

You: no why??

Miles: why’d you spend $150 in an hour??

You: I’m at the mall

Miles: so? I pay for your shit

You: dawg it’s $150. It’s not that deep 💀

Miles: I ain’t yo “dawg” and yes it is when Yk I buy you shit

You: you aren’t my sugar daddy

Miles: I basically am atp. I’m sending you $1000, buy something cute

You contemplated leaving him on seen but you remembered how he hates that so you replied:

You: Okay

You had saved up enough to get the necklace and when you got it, you were ecstatic. You thought about all of the possible outfit combos and how good it will look against your brown skin but your thoughts were interrupted by a certain someone:

Miles: what’d I tell you, Mami?

You: ?

Miles: don’t play dumb, yk I would’ve bought you that necklace in a heartbeat but instead you wanted to be miss independent and buy it yourself. I guess since you’re so independent, I’ll stop sending you that $1000 every week. How about that?

You: ok

Miles: ?

You: we can discuss this when I get home

Miles: K

You: k

It was a long ride home but eventually you accepted that Miles was gonna rip your head off and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

When you got home, he had three of the necklaces, two huge teddy bears, a bouquet of your favorite flowers and the newest pair of Jordan’s waiting for you:

“What’s all this?” You smiled and asked

“I told you I’ll pay for your shit, y/n” miles said, with a small smirk on his face

[ninihousebears3000]

HR Department! reader X Alucard

A goodnight kiss.

Pulling an all-nighter causes you to hear strange things.

CW: No warnings!

It's quite late.

You had to agree with the voice in your head. Pulling overtime was necessary considering how your workload suddenly increased. Now you're bookkeeper another responsibility on your plate. Computerizing this ancient system that the organization was barely running on was your mission. But efficiency is your reputation and you wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that things were left in limbo.

Rest, work will be here tomorrow but you won't be here much longer if you keep going on like this.

Morbid but true. Maybe some coffee will give you clarity? After all your computer screen began looking less and less clear. You were certain it was working just fine a moment ago. Standing up you grab your favorite mug off your desk heading to your in-office coffee machine. Walter had refused to use k-cups opting to brew a fresh pot for you every day. But he would cut you off after two cups so for your third and fourth cups you used your K-cups from home.

You placed your mug on the machine instinctively reaching for the box of k-cups. Only to be met with empty space. "What the hell?" You had a full box where did it go? Checking in the cabinets, your bag, and drawers, not a single K-cup could be found. Even your coat pocket didn't have an emergency K-cup. "Perhaps there's some upstairs?" Thinking aloud was your tendency nowadays since this was your own private office. Although, a few more employees and an assistant would be very helpful. Being the head of the human resources department doesn't mean much if you're the only employee.

You thought to yourself as you left your office walking through the basement.

"An office near civilization would be nice."

You retorted walking past the many cells in the dungeon. You know Seras' room is near here. "I wonder what she's up to?" You appreciate her company she seems chipper than most considering her situation. At times you can tell she just wants another person to talk to. It does pain you that she pops in at the busiest of times. It's only been a few weeks since the Police Girl ‘joined’. You did try advocating for her to have a change of uniform and to be at least called by her real name. Those were still ongoing battles.

Then there was Alucard. You're still trying to get a one-on-one meeting about his workplace misconduct. It's difficult to arrange anything with him he has no email! An audible groaning sigh escaped you.

Your thoughts kept you entertained as you finally made it to the kitchen. Normally, there would be servants and other staff members but the only remaining people here were the residents and the perimeter guards. Of course, the ones in the surveillance room which felt weird to think about them watching you right now.

Of course, there was no leftover coffee left so you were having to pull off your lazy slacks and brew some yourself.

Coffee at this hour? Your sleep will surely be ruined. The sun rises in only a few hours. How about lemon ginger tea?

You took your mug and started rinsing out the old coffee stains. Possibly something else for a change?

When you were filling up your mug with cold water to get the last of the stains out. You jolted the mug towards your face splashing your face with cold water. The sensation still shocked you but woke you up for certain.

"My voice is deep but why is my thought voice that deep?" Was delirium setting in? Or was someone truly talking to you? You can see why Sir Penwood said this place can be maddening. Instead of coffee or tea, you opted for ice-cold orange juice and a leftover banana nut muffin. The sugar should help until you find a stopping point. Plus the leftover wetness on your shirt can help keep you awake. Seems like you would be spending the night Walter gave you a ride since your car was practically living in the shop at this point.

Almost three in the morning the voice in your head was right about it being very late. By the time you returned, you finished the muffin and chugged the juice as soon as you sat down. Just one more paragraph to type and you can call it a night.

You've had worse nights from your undergrad years!

Cracking your knuckles your nimble fingers went back to work.

Sugar can't stop sleep deprivation.

There it was again! You can ignore it! Fight on you're the head of the human resources department!

What's the harm?

Just close your eyes for a few minutes.

You never noticed how soothing the baritone voice was until now. An eye break couldn't hurt, right?

That's right little human. Just close those pretty eyes.

The computer screen was looking warped in ways you've never seen a screen do before. Your lids were heavier and you were leaning on your arms at this point.

"But I am not finished yet." Trying to fight this heavy exhaustion was increasingly difficult. Before you knew it your head was using your arms as a pillow and the desk was a bed.

Everything will be fine little human.

"I am six feet." Your eyes closed for the final time. The heat from the cardigan now placed on your shoulders reminded you of the blanket on your soft bed.

Shh, sleep little human.

Wait, your cardigan was on the back of your chair!

Now be a good little human and stay asleep.

Hot breath grazed your exposed neck along with a hissing noise. You reached for the pistol underneath your desk and fired a shot at the source of this strange body heat. To your surprise you found Hellsing's trump card sitting on the ground in the corner of your office. Thankfully, Walter gave you a pistol strangely you asked for a silencer.

"ALUCARD! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WORKPLACE MISCONDUCT VIOLATIONS YOU STACKED UP!" Panting and filled with rage you kept your gun aimed at him.

"You know those blessed bullets do hurt." He was bleeding out of his left shoulder. Despite that, his face held an awful grin.

"YOU WERE TRYING TO DRINK MY BLOOD! AND YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY HEAD!" You never thought your first meeting with Alucard was going to be him nearly drinking your blood.

"Shh, you're louder than Police Girl." His nonchalant attitude was getting on your nerves. "Consider it a goodnight kiss little human." Alucard stood to his full height seeing how he still regarded you as little.

"We need to address some misconduct violations." Was this going to be your only chance to talk to him?

"I don't think your department applies to me." He began to walk past you. "Now if you'll excuse me the sun will be rising soon." But your reflexes were being kind to you. Opening your drawer you pulled out a thick binder and flipped to the middle of it pointing at a document.

"You and Seras Victoria fall into this category of employee." He leaned down to read it. His crimson eyes bounced up to yours and then to the book again. "Did you just call me a police dog?" A hint of irritation was in his tone.

"Therefore you must follow the same guidelines as every employee here." You were the head of the human resources department you weren't going to let this misconduct run rampant anymore!

"Please have a seat Alucard." Alucard narrowed his eyes at you and then smirked. "Alright then HR." He smirked while sitting down crossing his legs in the seat in front of your desk. While you grabbed your chair that was pushed across the room after his initial introduction.

You weren’t expecting him to give in judging from what Seras and Walter had told you. But you can’t rest knowing you had the chance.

"Now shall we begin with boundaries."

[rickydoodahgrimez]

𝞋𝞎 ─────── 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞

pairing: rick grimes x reader

summary: you and rick grimes have been best friends ever since you were in diapers. after being broken up by your boyfriend; spencer, rick shows you how much you can be loved.

warnings: pet names, teasing, dirty talk, teasing, soft sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (reader receiving), rick being sweet, fluff at the end, hope you enjoy :)

word count: 3.0 k

a/n: apart of my valentine's day special :)) hope you guys like it

“𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐈'𝐌 𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄.”

The words hung in the night air, fragile and aching, barely above a whisper. You hadn’t meant to say it—not out loud, not to him—but it slipped past your lips before you could stop it.

The weight of them settled between you and Rick like an invisible wall, thick and suffocating. 

You stared down at your hands, twisting them together in your lap, unable to look at him. Maybe if you did, you’d see the confirmation in his eyes—the same realization Spencer had come to when he walked away.

Every guy before him had left, each one finding some excuse, some reason why they couldn’t stay. The world was too dangerous.

You were too much. Too stubborn. Too complicated. And every single time, it chipped away at something inside of you, making you wonder if there was something wrong with you that you just couldn’t see.

Rick didn’t answer right away, and for a moment, you wished you’d kept your mouth shut.

Maybe he was trying to think of a way to let you down easy, to tell you that, yeah, maybe you were unlovable. 

Because if men like Spencer—normal, decent men—couldn’t love you, how could someone like Rick, someone who had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, possibly have space for you?

Then, finally, he moved.

“You don’t get to say that.”

His voice was low, rough, edged with something sharp. You dared a glance at him, and what you saw made your breath catch.

His jaw was tight, his hands curled into fists on his thighs, but it was his eyes that stole the air from your lungs. Anger simmered there, but not at you. No, this was something else entirely.

“You think because some damn fools didn’t see you—really see you—that it means something about you?” He let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “That’s bullshit.”

You blinked at him, thrown by the sudden intensity in his voice. “Rick—”

“No.” His voice softened, but his eyes stayed locked on yours, unwavering. “I’ve known you my whole damn life. I’ve seen you at your best, at your worst. I’ve seen you fight, seen you survive, seen you keep goin’ when most people would’ve given up.”

His fingers twitched before he reached for your hand, his touch warm and steady. “And I know you. I know your heart. And I know there ain’t a damn thing unlovable about you.”

Your throat tightened, a lump forming that you weren’t sure you could swallow down. It wasn’t just what he was saying—it was the way he was saying it.

Like it physically hurt him to hear you doubt yourself. Like he’d fight anyone who dared to make you feel this way, even if it was just your own thoughts.

“But they all left,” You whispered, barely able to get the words out. “Every single one.”

Rick’s grip on your hand tightened, grounding. “Then they were fools.”

Your breath hitched, and for the first time that night, the hollow ache inside of you started to ease—because when Rick said something, he meant it.

And if there was one thing you knew with absolute certainty, it was that Rick Grimes never spoke empty words.

You and Rick had been inseparable for as long as you could remember. Some of your earliest memories were of playing in the Georgia sun, your tiny hands clutching his as you ran barefoot through the fields behind his house.

Your families were close, your parents always joking that you and Rick were a package deal. Where he went, you followed, and when you wanted to do something reckless, he was always right there, shaking his head but going along with it anyway.

He was your best friend before you even knew what that meant.

You were there when he scraped his knee riding his bike too fast down the gravel road, and he was there when you broke your arm falling out of the old oak tree in your backyard.

You went to every one of his baseball games, cheering louder than anyone, and when he started liking girls, you were the one who teased him mercilessly.

He did the same to you, side—eyeing every guy who tried to take you on a date, always making sure they knew you weren’t alone.

But then the world ended.

And it was just you two again.

You weren’t kids anymore, but something about surviving the end of the world together made you feel like those reckless kids running barefoot through the grass again.

Only now, it wasn’t scraped knees and bruised elbows—it was blood on your hands and aching bones from days of walking.

Rick had always been protective of you, but after everything, after the fall of the world, that protectiveness hardened into something fierce.

You could see it in the way he positioned himself in front of you during fights, the way his eyes scanned every new place you entered, like he was making sure there was no threat that could take you away from him.

And you weren’t just standing behind him, either. You fought beside him. You had his back the way he had yours, always watching, always ready.

There were nights when you both sat by the fire, Carl's head resting on your shoulder, silent except for the crackling of the flames, the weight of everything pressing down on you.

And then there were the nights when you’d talk about before, about home, about how you used to dream of growing old in that sleepy little town, never knowing that someday, you'd trade white picket fences for bloodstained knives.

But no matter how much the world changed, one thing never did.

You still had him.

And maybe that was the only thing keeping you going.

You let out a humourless laugh, staring down at the splintered wood beneath your feet. “Every guy I’ve been with has left me. Every single one. First before the world went to hell, and now after.” You sucked in a shaky breath. “Spencer was just the latest to figure it out.”

Rick shifted beside you, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw his jaw clench, his hands curling into fists against his thighs. “That what you really think?” He asked, his voice rough, quiet, but carrying the weight of something heavy.

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to look at him. “It’s a pattern, isn’t it?”

“No.” The word came sharp, firm, leaving no room for argument.

You finally turned your head, meeting his gaze. His blue eyes burned in the dim light of the porch lanterns, dark with something intense—something you couldn’t name. “You ever think,” He started, voice lower now, “That maybe the problem ain’t you? Maybe it’s them. Maybe they were too damn blind to see what they had.”

You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “I don’t know, Rick. I—”

“Don’t,” He interrupted, shifting closer. His body was warm, solid, grounding. “Don’t do that. Don’t sit here and tell me you’re unlovable when I—” He stopped, jaw tightening, like the words caught in his throat. His hands flexed before he reached for you, his fingers grazing yours, hesitant at first. “You got no idea, do you?”

Your breath hitched at the way his touch lingered, deliberate and gentle despite the roughness of his hands. He was always so careful with you, even after everything you’d both been through, even after the years of blood and loss and heartbreak.

“You don’t get it,” Rick murmured, his thumb brushing over your knuckles, tracing slow, absentminded circles against your skin. “You’ve been one of the best damn thing in my life.” His voice was hoarse now, thick with something unspoken. “Ain’t a single man who’s walked away from you that ever deserved you.”

Your throat tightened, and suddenly, the weight of everything—the pain, the doubt, the loneliness—felt unbearable. “Then why,” You whispered, barely holding yourself together, “Does it feel like I’m never enough?”

Rick let out a rough exhale, like it hurt him to hear you say it. He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he reached up, cupping your cheek, his palm warm and steady against your skin.

You swore he could feel how hard your heart was pounding beneath his touch.

“I don’t know how to make you believe it,” He admitted, voice strained. “But I see you. Always have.” His thumb brushed over your cheekbone, his touch reverent, as if you were something fragile, something precious. “Let me show you,” he murmured. “Let me show you how much you can be loved.”

The way he looked at you then—like you were the only thing in the world that mattered—made your breath catch in your throat.

Rick’s thumb traced slow, soothing patterns against your cheek, his breath warm as it fanned across your lips.

His eyes flickered between yours, searching, asking—giving you the chance to pull away, to stop this before it crossed the line.

But you didn’t want to stop.

Your chest rose and fell in time with his, every inch of space between you charged with something you had never dared to name before. His fingers curled under your chin, tilting your face slightly, and then—finally—he leaned in.

His lips brushed against yours, the touch featherlight at first, hesitant. But when you let out a shaky breath and pressed forward, Rick groaned low in his throat, his other hand sliding to the back of your neck as he kissed you fully.

It was slow—deliberate. He wasn’t just kissing you; he was pouring everything into it.

Every unspoken feeling, every stolen glance, every lingering touch over the years.

You sighed into him, parting your lips just enough for him to deepen the kiss, and the moment his tongue brushed against yours, heat curled low in your stomach.

His hand tightened against your waist, pulling you closer, until there wasn’t a breath of space left between you.

By the time he pulled back, you were both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together. Rick’s thumb traced over your swollen lips, his eyes dark, intense. “Tell me you want this.” He rasped, his voice barely more than a whisper.

You swallowed, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. “I do,” You whispered. “I’ve always wanted you.”

Something in him snapped at that.

Rick stood suddenly, pulling you up with him, his grip firm but careful. His hand slid down your arm, fingers threading through yours as he led you inside.

You followed, heart hammering, pulse thrumming in your ears.

The house was quiet, the only sound the soft creak of the stairs as he guided you up, his grip on your hand never faltering.

When you reached the bedroom, Rick turned to face you, his hands settling at your waist. He studied you, his gaze full of something unreadable—something reverent.

Then, slowly, he reached for the hem of your shirt, his fingers ghosting over your skin.

“This okay?” He murmured.

You nodded, barely able to speak. Rick exhaled softly, pressing another kiss to your lips, slower this time. Deeper.

And as he led you toward the bed, his hands roaming your body with the same care he’d always shown you, you finally understood.

You were never unlovable.

Not to him. Not ever.

He gently cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing against your soft skin. His touch sent shivers down your spine, awakening sensations you had been trying to suppress.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He murmured as his lips brushed yours again.

You parted your lips, inviting him in, and his kiss was tender yet passionate. His lips moved against yours, exploring and seeking, as if he was trying to convey all his emotions through this simple act.

Rick’s hands slid down your neck, gently caressing your shoulders, making you sigh into his mouth.

The kiss deepened, and you found yourself responding eagerly, your hands gripping his shirt, pulling him closer.

His tongue danced with yours, a sensual battle of wills, as if both of you were trying to express years of unspoken desire in this one moment.

Breathless, you broke the kiss, your eyes searching his. “Take off my shirt, Rick.”

He didn't hesitate; his hands moved to the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it over your head. His eyes feasted on your exposed body, taking in your delicate curves and the swell of your breasts.

You felt a rush of desire as his gaze travelled over you, making you keenly aware of your own sensuality.

“You’re so beautiful.”

His hands roamed freely, his fingertips tracing the outline of your bra, making you shiver.

He unhooked your bra with nimble fingers, and it slid off your shoulders, revealing your full breasts. His eyes locked onto your erect nipples, and he leaned forward, capturing one between his lips.

You gasped as his tongue swirled around the sensitive peak, his breath hot against your skin.

“Oh, Rick.” You muttered under your breath, your fingers starting to thread through his curls.

He lavished attention on your breasts, suckling and nibbling, his hands kneading and squeezing. His mouth left a trail of kisses down your stomach, causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin.

“I want to taste you.” Rick murmured, making you lay down on the bed.

You shivered in anticipation as he gently nudged your thighs apart. His hands slid under your hips, lifting you slightly, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, granting him full access.

Rick’s eyes met yours, a silent question in his gaze, seeking permission for what he was about to do. You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest, both excited and nervous.

He lowered his head, his warm breath caressing your inner thighs, causing you to squirm with anticipation.

His tongue flicked out, teasingly tracing the sensitive skin just above your underwear line. You bit your lip to stifle a moan, your body already on the brink of pleasure.

With slow, deliberate movements, Rick hooked his fingers under the elastic of your underwear and slid them down your legs, his eyes never leaving your face. You stepped out of the garment, now completely exposed to his gaze.

“You’re stunning.” He muttered, eyes glued to your core.

He positioned himself between your thighs, his face mere inches from your core. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you knew he was as aroused as you were.

Rick’s tongue darted out, tasting you for the first time. He moaned softly, the vibrations sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

His tongue was slow and deliberate, painting broad strokes along your slit, gathering your essence.

“You taste so sweet.” He slowly teased circles on your clit with his tongue.

You gripped the sheets, your body tensing as he explored your most intimate folds. His tongue was skilled and relentless, circling your clit, teasing it, before plunging into your wetness.

He lapped at your juices, savouring your taste, his and your moans of pleasure filling the room.

“Oh, God, Rick!”

He responded by increasing the pace, his tongue working feverishly. He added a finger, sliding it into your wetness, curling it to find that sweet spot within.

Your body trembled as he stimulated you both internally and externally, pushing you ever closer to the brink of ecstasy.

“Come for me, baby. Let go.”

His words were the final push you needed. Your orgasm exploded within you, rippling through your body like an electric current. You cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you.

Rick continued to lap at your sensitive flesh, drawing out your climax, milking every last drop of pleasure. Your body shuddered and convulsed, and you clung to him, riding out the storm of sensations.

Finally, you collapsed back onto the bed, your breath coming in ragged gasps. Rick crawled up beside you, his eyes sparkling with satisfaction.

His lips found yours again, slow and deep, his calloused fingers tracing lazy circles along your bare skin. He hovered over you, his body warm and solid against yours, his hand slipping down to guide himself to you—

The front door swung open with a loud creak.

“Dad, I’m home!”

Panic shot through both of you like a lightning bolt. You and Rick scrambled apart so fast that you nearly fell off the bed. He cursed under his breath, fumbling for his jeans while you scrambled to the floor, your heart hammering.

Carl’s footsteps thudded down the hall just as you finished pulling on your top. Rick, still flushed and slightly out of breath, ran a hand through his messy hair as Carl appeared in the doorway.

The boy glanced between the two of you, brow raising slightly. “Hey.” He said casually, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Hey, Carl.” you replied, your voice an octave higher than normal. You could feel the heat burning your cheeks, and Rick, beside you, looked equally guilty, clearing his throat as he avoided eye contact with his son.

Carl’s gaze lingered for a second too long before he nodded and turned away. “I’ll be in my room.”

As soon as his footsteps faded, you exhaled in unison, both of you collapsing back onto the bed. Rick groaned, rubbing his hands down his face. “Christ.”

You covered your face, laughing into your palms. “That was way too close.”

Rick peeked over at you, his lips twitching. “You think he—?”

“Nope. Don’t wanna think about it.” You rolled onto your side, facing him, and he smirked, finally relaxing. His hand found yours, squeezing gently.

“We’ll finish this later,” He murmured, voice low and full of promise.

You shivered at the way he said it, unable to stop the smile spreading across your lips.

Unknown to you, Carl was smirking the minute he walked away.

idk why but i can kinda see rick doing baseball when he was a child

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Which op yan do you think would be the most annoying texter in a modern au?? I think sanji would drive me insane, I know he'd be texting nonstop. I also think buggy would ask his romantic interest if they'd still love him as a worm. Many times.

Sanji would be so excessive. You have to put your phone on do not disturb just to have a moment's peace. It literally never ends.

Sanji: Good morning, my love! It's another beautiful day of being able to call you mine 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

*pic attached*

Sanji: Here's the breakfast I'm making you! I'll bring it over as soon as it's done 😋😘

-

*sends a pic of any two things next to each other*

Sanji: This is literally us 🥺

-

Sanji: I just wanted to say again how much I love you💞❤️🩷💕💞💓🩷💕💞 (he says this even though he saw you in person three minutes ago and said the exact same thing then)

-

Sanji: Where did you go???? Are you mad at me??????? Have you been kidnapped?????????

Sanji: Oh wait never mind I see you now

Sanji: I'm calling your name why are you running the other way?

Buggy is someone who needs constant reassurance, and he uses having your phone number as a means to constantly get that from you. But like he's also very dramatic about it.

Buggy: do u hate me now? say it to my face at least

You: literally what are you talking about?

Buggy: I asked you a question and you ignored me!

You: I was gone for like 2 minutes????

Buggy: AND???? Why were you gone???

You: I was ordering some food for us but nvm I'm gonna go home and eat it all myself 😒

Buggy: ...

Buggy: I'm sorry please don't hate me for real now 🥺🥺🥺 I love you so much baby please don't leave me 😭😭😭

Zoro is on the opposite end of the spectrum because he doesn't text excessively, but you are lucky to get more than a one word response out of him. You could send him a several paragraph long text spilling your guts to him and all you'll get from him is a "k" or "alright" or "👍". If you send more than two texts in a row, he'll tell you to just call him if you're going to yap that much.

Luffy doesn't text, he sends voice memos. Not only does he send an absurd amount of them, but they're also all stupidly long because he gets distracted and rambles to his heart's content. What was supposed to be a simple voice memo asking if his jacket is at your place comes to you with a 31:46 time on it because he saw a cool looking beetle outside and just had to tell you about it in the memo. Half the time he forgets that he isn't actually on the phone with you and will ask a question several times before he remembers.

Doflamingo sends a lot of texts, but all of them are voice to text and are almost entirely unintelligible. The voice to text function wasn't designed to interpret his weird inflections and maniacal laughter. He also has a tendency to talk to other people in the middle of sending a text to you, so you have a whole ass random conversation smack in the middle of the text. He then has the audacity to have an attitude with you when you didn't catch the important thing he told you.

With Ace, you're going to feel like you're communicating via hieroglyphics because of how many of his messages to you are just memes/reaction images. He won't elaborate and lets you figure out what they mean. Did he just find that meme funny, or is there a hidden message in it? Who knows.

And then you have all of the old men (Sengoku, Garp, Whitebeard, etc) who can't text for shit and will send a series of unintelligible and confused texts before sending a very defeated "please call me"

[yumandoull]

omg omg reading the lyrics for wolf type made me CRAZYYYYY could you write what the andteam are like when jealous? (you can do all members as hcs or choose one member)

love ur work btw 💖💖💖💖

I'm just a wolf type (K, Fuma, Nicholas, Yuma, and Taki headcanons)

Warnings: not much but uhm neck kisses on yuma's, taki being DOWN BAD, not all members are included since these members are the ones I found the easiest to write as them being jealous, no word count and no proofread so expect typos/grammatical errors again hehe but some are a little longer than others, let me know if I missed some!

Message from the doll: so yes I did disappear for a few weeks I think(?) because of health reasons and followed by family emergencies 😿 but after all that, finally found the motivation to write againnn! Although I'm gonna confess something...I'm struggling with the pt2 for run, rabbit because I have no idea how to write reader x multiple members so I don't know when I'll be able to finish that 😞 for now, have some &team hcs and expect a yuma fic later tonight or tomorrow??? 👀

K

- For me, K would be a little passive-aggressive with it because he just looks like that type of person for me.

- When he first saw you talking to someone else, he would approach you immediately. He would ask what you and the person was talking about, laugh when you tell him the joke the other person said but his laugh was a little forced.

- K would wrap an arm around your shoulder while also participating in the conversation in a pretty friendly way but he is still glaring a little when you or the other person isn't paying attention.

- When the person finally gets the hint and leaves you alone, K would immediately take you away from the area to keep other people from approaching you. You would feel that his grip around your shoulder was a little tensed and his steps were firm so you would ask, "Were you jealous of them?"

- K would immediately deny it but if you kept asking, he would admit it.

"Okay yes, I was a little jealous so just stay close to me from now on."

Fuma

- Okay so for Fuma it would be a little different. When he saw you being approached by someone else, he would literally be like this (O_O) like surprised but not really because you looked good that day

- The two of you trust each other so I don't think he would be jealous that much I mean don't get me wrong, he just seems like the type of person that has so much trust on his partner (vice versa) and c'mon, he knows he's strong as hell and wouldn't hesitate to throw hands when needed.

- Which he will because as he was observing from afar, Fuma would start to notice you sending glances his way and your eyes saying 'I'm uncomfortable please help'.

- You didn't even need to glance a second time because that man's arms were already around your waist and his eyes stabbing daggers at the person bothering you. He would use the remaining of his calmness to talk to the person, knowing that you don't like making much of a scene.

- If the person is still not backing away and is even taunting him...OH IT IS ON. Fuma would immediately turn more aggressive, his hands leaving your waist to take a few threatening steps towards the person. But as much as possible, he would still not throw hands because he also doesn't want to cause a scene. He would also want to leave the place immediately after.

"If someone bothers you again like that, come find me."

Nicholas

- THIS MAN WOULD BE SO STRAIGHTFORWARD WITH IT.

- You two are at a party or something and yes, some people also approach him and he makes it clear that he's taken and they immediately back off. You, however, is more polite and isn't as straightforward. So you would try to politely decline someone but most would see it as you playing hard to get.

- In this scenario however, someone approached you because they noticed a keychain on your bag (an interest that you and the person shared) so naturally, you didn't look uncomfortable or anything because you were just talking about your interest with someone else.

- Nicholas would see this and immediately comes up to you, pushing past the people trying to pull him to dance or something. He looks intimidating even if he's not trying to be and now that he IS trying to intimidate someone, he looks like he could kill the person talking to you with just a blink or something.

- He would immediately tell the person that you are taken and asks them to go bother someone else. When the person leaves, you would sulk a bit because you were having a nice conversation with them about an interest of yours.

- Nicholas would feel a little guilty but it gets pushed away and he insists that 'they were still trying to get you away from me' or something. After that, he would learn about EVERY interest of yours so you can talk to him about it instead.

"Talk to me instead. I'm a great listener, y'know."

Yuma

- THIS BOY IS POSSESSIVE AND GETS SUPER CLINGY ABOUT IT. LIKE AN ACTUAL CAT. I'm just gonna say this but Nekoz are definitely the ones who gets easily jealous.

- I saw a clip from EJ and Yuma's live, I think EJ asked Yuma something like what if the fans spend valentines with someone else and Yuma immediately went 'no! they should spend it with us! 😾' LIKE WOAH OKAY, I like a possessive man.

- I also saw a girl ranking the members from least to most possessive based on their birth chart I think and YUMA was the one that is the most possessive based on his birth chart and I was NOT surprised at all.

- He sees someone else making you laugh? HE'S LITERALLY '😾' AND CLINGS TO YOU. Taking a seat next to you, resting his head on your shoulder, arms around your waist. KISSES ON YOUR NECK AND MAKES SURE THE OTHER PERSON SEES HIM DOING IT. (It's very obvious that I enjoy writing for Yuma)

- Once you tease him about him being jealous tho, he denies it.

"I wasn't jealous! I was just making sure you would only laugh like that because of me."

Taki

- SPEAKING OF CLINGY, Taki would also be like this. But unlike Yuma who is like a cat and glares at the person, Taki would have puppy eyes looking at YOU because you're not giving him attention.

- Taki would ALWAYS be by your side but that doesn't stop anyone from approaching you (because they think Taki was your younger brother or something) but Taki wouldn't even care if someone said that. HE JUST CARES ABOUT YOU AND YOUR ATTENTION 😞

- I don't but for meee, I just really see Taki as someone who pulls a baddie from being weird and a loser really but I also love it when my man is down bad (nonchalant < yearners) A MAN WHO YEARNS IS A MAN WHO EARNS.

"Heyy, pay attention to meee. Can we get takoyaki please?"

Another message from the doll: I don't think this is nsfw or even suggestive so it should've been on my sfw blog instead but I was halfway writing this on the app and too lazy to transfer it, also because the ask was sent here. Situations are lowkey repetitive but I hope y'all still enjoy it 😞 anyway! As always, ask box is open for requests, thoughts, feedbacks, or messages!

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Han Jisung x F!Reader TW : anonymous friends to lovers type beat ; physical fighting ; reader is bullied ; angst ; fluffy ending ; Word Count : 8.9k A/N : Haven't even started writing this one yet but I know it's gonna take a bit, I hope the wait is worth it!! I hope that this is good! I kind of changed things a little bit, but I feel like it's still good... right? It has a k-drama feel to it... Not proof read!! Request : Anonny : Hello! If your requests are open can you write something for skz han? Where han is a popular person that everyone likes and he doesn't know the identity of reader but they are able to have really nice conversations. He thinks he found the person he's been talking to and starts dating them and reader agrees to help the person with talking to him. But han actually starts talking to reader and realizes that they were the person he fell in love with. Reader didn't tell him their true identity bc they were told he could never love someone like them. I hope that makes sense.

An anonymous chat room… What could possibly go wrong? It had started as a way for other students to get help with certain subjects without the judgment of their peers over not knowing enough. Soon enough, like most things, it had completely lost its original reason for being made, and now it was being used for anything but studying. There were chat rooms for dissing people, chat rooms for hooking up, and then there was the more… safe chat rooms, for people that were just lonely and wanting to talk, people that were too awkward or shy to have conversations face to face. Everyone had an online identity that no one else knew about… A different persona… It was scary… But sometimes it was nice to just… Talk to someone. 

JiHizzy : Hey! You online? 

Your phone vibrated with the message, and you couldn’t help but smile at the familiar sound of the notification. You had been talking to him for weeks now, and it was the one part of your day that you truly looked forward to. 

JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! What’s up?

JiHizzy : Finally got back to my dorm. I was trying to study for finals…

JustAnotherGirl : I’m gonna guess that didn’t work out for you? 

JiHizzy : Crazily enough, I ended up at the bar instead of the library. 

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know how you could possibly get the two confused lol

JiHizzy : It’s a friday night, I don’t think anyone was at the library. Weren’t you at the bar too? It was packed. 

JustAnotherGirl : Mm… Nope! I don’t really party like that, I was too busy studying for my finals. 

JiHizzy : Ooh, the innocent type? I like that.

JustAnotherGirl : Are you flirting with me? 

JiHizzy : I might be… You know the acronym of your username is jag… all you need is I and you’d be jagi to me. 

JustAnotherGirl : That must be the alcohol talking…

JiHizzy : Not at all. You’re just my type. I really want to meet you.

JustAnotherGirl : Oh, would you look at the time? We should get some sleep! Goodnight! 

While it was supposed to stay an anonymous chat room, some people were just too popular to stay hidden longer than the first week. One of those people was JiHizzy, better known as Han Jisung, the most popular guy on campus simply because of his looks. All of the girls wanted him, and all of the guys wanted to be him. He was the top of the totem pole, and that put you at the very bottom. 

If the two of you were to walk past each other on campus, he wouldn’t even spare you a passing glance… But with the promise of anonymity, you were able to talk to him every night. You were able to know what it felt like to be liked by someone like him. You could never meet him though, if he found out who you really were… He’d stop talking to you immediately. You didn’t want to lose him… Even if you didn’t truly have him. 

///

JiHizzy : Are you in class right now? 

In the silence of the classroom, the vibration of your phone was much louder than you thought it would be. Everyone turned to look in your direction, and you quickly grabbed your phone and placed it on your lap, hoping that if another message came in, it would be silent. 

JiHizzy : I know you are, you’re such a good girl… WAIT DOES THAT SOUND WEIRD!? I’M SORRY!! 

JiHizzy : I was just thinking that maybe… Maybe you could tell me what class you’re in…

JiHizzy : And I could get a glimpse of you… Or who I think is you… I just want to have a face to go with the name…

You held in your sigh as you felt your phone vibrate incessantly against your lap, chewing on your bottom lip as you attempted to focus on your studies, but it seemed like he wouldn’t let up unless you responded. 

JiHizzy : PLEASE!! 

JustAnotherGirl : Why is it so important? I like being anonymous… I like talking to you…

JiHizzy : Because I like you, and I can’t stop thinking about you, and I want to daydream about you…

JiHizzy : But it’s kind of hard to daydream about someone if I don’t know what they look like.

JustAnotherGirl : Well, daydream about what you think I look like. It’s probably better than how I really look anyway. 

JiHizzy : You’re talking like I’ll stop messaging you or stop liking you if I meet you…

JiHizzy : You don’t think I’m that kind of person… Do you? 

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t know who you are… But it’s just easier like this for me… 

JiHizzy : Alright alright

JiHizzy : I’m sorry if I upset you…

JiHizzy : But hey! I heard that they’re releasing an update soon where we can actually talk to each other on the phone!

JustAnotherGirl : Can’t people tell who other people are by their voice? 

JiHizzy : Idk… But I want to call you when it comes out. Can we at least do that?

JustAnotherGirl : Maybe… I’ll think about it… I have to study now. So do you! 

JiHizzy : Right! Okay, I’ll message you later! 

He daydreamed about you… He thought about you… You wondered what this image looked like, the girl that he thought you were. You were sure that it looked nothing like you, and it was better that way. He was so popular, you didn’t want to tarnish his image if he was even seen talking with you, let alone walking beside you… although you were sure that something like that would never happen. 

///

When the call feature was released, everyone was so excited. People were testing it out as soon as their apps updated… But you were dreading it. Texting guaranteed staying anonymous, but hearing someone's voice, even if they didn’t know what you looked like, a voice was a way to identify someone. Even Jisungs voice, anyone and everyone could tell it was him coming if they heard him talking. His voice was distinct, it was his and his only. You didn’t know how distinct your voice would be, and the only thing you had going for you was the fact that you didn’t talk much at all. 

A time that you’d usually be counting down to now had your stomach twisted up into knots, your knees folded up against your chest as you tried to think of anything but the inevitable phone call that you knew he would ask for. “What’s got you all worked up?” Your roommate asked as she walked into your room. As if things couldn’t get any worse, she just had to be back in at a normal hour. 

Of course you had gotten paired up to dorm with the most popular girl on campus, it was just another way of lifes mysterious twists and turns supposedly. She was absolutely ruthless, and while you had asked to have your room changed at the beginning of every semester, it miraculously could never be done. As if college wasn’t hard enough, having to reside with her was just added stress. 

“Fine. Ignore me. I didn’t want to talk to you anyway.” She mumbled, dropping down onto the ridiculously large and disgustingly luxurious bed that took up almost the entirety of her half of the room. She was rich, of course she was, and she took every opportunity to flaunt her wealth to everyone on campus, and you were no exception, you just got the brunt of it. 

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick… Do you have to use the bathroom before I get in?” You asked, keeping your head down so she didn’t look at you like the peasant that you knew she thought you were. She scoffed loudly, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw her flick her wrist in the direction of the bathroom. 

JiHizzy : You awake? Don’t tell me you’re sleeping already! 

JiHizzy : You haven’t been online in 3 hours! Come onnnnn!

JiHizzy : Are you ignoring me?!?!?! :( 

JiHizzy : Did I do something… Say something wrong? 

JiHizzy : Ahhh… Maybe you are sleeping… Okay 

JiHizzy : Goodnight! Sleep well!!

You never took your phone into the bathroom with you, not just because it seemed unsanitary or unhygienic, you also couldn’t afford to potentially drop it on the tile floor and bust the screen. Maybe you should have, but again, you didn’t think that your roommate would go through your phone. You were pretty sure that she wouldn’t even touch something that belonged to you. You had never been more wrong. 

The vibrating of your phone had caught her attention, and maybe if it had only gone off once she would have ignored it, but Jisung was a spam texter. “Hmm…” She hummed to herself as she snatched your phone off the nightstand, and her curiosity quickly turned to annoyance when she saw just who had been texting you. “No way… There’s no way!” She shrieked, glaring at your phone. 

As the story goes, the popular guy should automatically be with the popular girl… that’s how it always goes! She wouldn’t allow something like this to happen… It just couldn’t. She was being a good person, she had to look out for Jisungs reputation, that’s what it was. Luckily everything was anonymous, you were anonymous… He wouldn’t have to be embarrassed to like you… He wouldn’t even have to know it was you. 

“What are you doing?” She was still holding your phone as you walked out of the bathroom, and your stomach dropped as you thought about what she could have been doing to your phone. Why would she even have it. “Look… I don’t touch your stuff, please don’t touch mine.” You mumbled as you scurried over to grab your phone out of her hand. 

“Jesus, don’t have a tantrum.” She muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned her attention back to her own phone. “Maybe you should silence your notifications before leaving your phone unattended.” Her words only worried you more, prompting you to check what she could have been talking about, and you could feel the anxiousness creeping up further and further until it had taken you over completely. 

She had seen the notifications, and you’d be a fool to think that she didn’t know exactly who it was that was messaging you. Would she tell him? It would be absolutely humiliating, it would destroy you, you couldn’t imagine the way he and his friends would react to finding out that it was you who he had been talking to. Should you tell her not to say anything? “I…” No… It might make her say something. Maybe she’ll forget about it in the morning. That would be the best case scenario. 

“I think Han Jisung and I would be the perfect couple, right? I mean, we’re both popular, we’re both insanely attractive! That’s why I feel so bad for him, you know? It’s not like he’d willingly go for a complete loser, but this stupid anonymous app is really getting his hopes up.” You were right there, she knew exactly what she was doing, but she still had the audacity to look over at you with the fakest smile. “Were you saying something?” 

“N-No…” You stammered, pushing yourself up off your bed and heading to the door. “I’m gonna take a walk, I’ll be back later…” She didn’t say anything to you as you left, simply laughing along with the multitudes of friends that she had on call. Had she told them? Were they all laughing at you? Of course they were, she was right… Why would he want to be with someone like you? You were a nobody, a speck of dust, no… Not even that. People notice dust… you were less than that. 

But why didn’t you deserve to be happy, even if that meant staying behind the safety and security of your phone screen and a basic username? Were you not allowed to have anything? Not even some sort of happiness brought by anonymous interaction? Isn’t that how everything on the internet is nowadays anyway? No one really knows each other… So why is it such a big deal if you talk to him? Why should you be shamed for doing it the way you have been? Could you not even have this one thing? 

Being outside was like a breath of fresh air, at least for a moment, but those thoughts brought on by the words of your roommate were suffocating. Should you even respond to him? He thought you were sleeping already… you could tell him you had been busy… His messages have the ability to help you feel better in an instant, and you needed that now. You clicked on the notification and quickly typed in your password to open the app, and not even a second passed before your phone was vibrating in your hand. 

JiHizzy : Hey! There you are! 

JustAnotherGirl : Hm… Were you just sitting and waiting for me to come online?

JiHizzy : and what if I was?? 

JiHizzy : you know I can’t sleep without talking to you first. 

JustAnotherGirl : I didn’t know that though…

JiHizzy : well now you know! :D 

JiHizzy : so… the call feature came out! I want to call you! Can I?

JustAnotherGirl : uhm… I don’t know… 

JiHizzy : are you in your room? Is your roommate sleeping? I can talk quiet!

JustAnotherGirl : no… no it’s not that…

JiHizzy : I want to hear your voice… please? We can talk about anything! Anything you want! 

JustAnotherGirl : I guess… 

In a second your phone was buzzing, Jisungs screen name front and center on your screen. What a foolish feature this is, why not just give people your phone number if you’ll just talk on the phone? What’s next? Video calling? What if…? You would never do that… You couldn’t… He wouldn’t want to see you anyway. 

Your hands shook as you accepted the call and brought your phone up to your ear. “Hehe, hey! Took you a bit to answer, I thought you’d just ignore me!” His voice came with a face, one that you could perfectly envision in your mind. His smile, the creasing of his eyes as he probably laid back against his pillow, one arm tucked under his head, perfectly at ease with everything. He was so lucky and he probably didn’t even realize it. 

“Oh… uh… no. I was just… trying to find somewhere to sit.” You lied, looking around at the line of streetlamps that illuminated the sidewalks that led to different buildings. “H-Hi…” You stammered, and you knew exactly why you were flustered, why you were so nervous. Jisung was practically a GOD here, and you might as well have been an earthworm with how much lower you were than him. If anyone found out about this, you were sure that the both of you would be humiliated, but for vastly different reasons. 

“You don’t have a couch or a bed or anything in your dorm?” He asked, and you felt stupid, this whole thing just felt insanely stupid. So what if you didn’t have a couch or a bed in your dorm anyway, not everyone was made of money! What was he going to do, judge you for it? “Well… Look, if you need help or anything… I-” 

“I don’t need help.” You stated quickly, and you truly didn’t. Sure, you didn’t have a couch or a flat screen television in your dorm, but you had a bed, and that was more than what most people had, so you had no reason to complain. “I’m actually-” A particularly loud gust of wind whipped around you, the force so strong that you could almost hear it crackling in your speaker, and it whipped up freshly fallen leaves around you. 

“Are you outside?” There was a slight panic in his voice, although you weren’t sure why. It’s not like you hadn’t braved elements far more atrocious than wind before. But then again, he didn’t exactly know you well. With the image he had in his mind of you, he probably thought you were too pretty, too perfect to be outside in the wind, potentially getting your hair messed up. “Did you go outside just to talk to me? I-If I knew you were going to do that, I would have just said to wait until a different day to call. I don’t want you to get ill.” 

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Was he always this caring, or was he just pretending? Only the people closest to him would know, and you weren’t close to him at all. Surely to be as popular as he was, he’d have to be some kind of an asshole… That’s how the movies and the shows always depict the popular guys. They were too good for people like you… But… He didn’t know you were a person… A person like you. “It’s fine, really. I’ve walked home in thunderstorms before… A little gust of wind isn’t going to take me out.” 

There was a sigh from his end of the call, and then the rustling of what sounded like sheets or blankets. “Well tell me where you are. You’re already out, and I wouldn’t mind walking a bit to come see you. I really want to know you… I can get my shoes on real quick and-” You hung up the call before he was finished, your breath held in your throat, and you didn’t let it go until you were certain the call was ended. It was rude, sure, of course it was… But why was he so god damn pressed on meeting you!? Why wasn’t this good enough for him too?! 

JiHizzy : Did the call cut out? Was it the wind?? Are you okay!?

JiHizzy : If you don’t answer me, I’ll… I don’t know… I’m not a computer wizard but…

JiHizzy : I know people can trace things and… Please tell me you’re okay. I’m worried.

JustAnotherGirl : yeah… I’m fine… 

JustAnotherGirl : my phone battery is dying… 

JiHizzy : Oh! Okay! 

JiHizzy : Get inside quick, please. Charge your phone and message me in the morning… yeah?

JustAnotherGirl : yeah… 

JustAnotherGirl : Goodnight…

JiHizzy : Goodnight beautiful! 

This was getting worse, it was only going to get harder… Maybe you should cut ties with him now… It would be better that way, wouldn’t it? It wasn’t paying off to selfishly keep him, basically trapped behind your phone screen because you were scared of the embarrassment that would come along with actually meeting him. You needed to let him go…

///

Your roommate was laying in bed, a sheet mask over her face and the bedside table lamp had been dimmed. She was sleeping, at least that’s what you thought, until the door latch clicked as you shut it and she jumped up. “What were you out doing, huh?” The questions immediately started, and you shook your head, going over to your bed and yanking back the blankets. “I know that you weren’t out with… him. He would drop dead before being seen with the likes of you, ya know?” 

She snickered annoyingly, and you whipped around, your face scrunched up as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “How? How do you know that? How should I know that?! Do you know him?! Do you really know him?!” You asked, or, more like begged for her to give you the answers. You weren’t really sure why you were going to her of all people, maybe you were just desperate to hear that… that you would be good enough… Maybe not for him… But for someone. 

The loud laugh that poured from her lips was like a gut punch, and you dropped down onto your bed, absolutely humiliated, devastated, you felt like a fool. “Listen… I’m gonna do you a favor… You know, since we’re… friends…” This was bound to be an awful idea, you were sure of it, but you felt like she was going to keep talking anyway and… It was beginning to feel like you didn’t have a choice. “I think it’ll be a win for both of us… So, I’ll meet him, as you… And you get to keep talking to him at night. He’ll fall in love with me and my beautiful looks, as everyone always does, and… Well, you won’t be lonely. How does that sound?” 

It sounded terrible, it sounded awful, it was an elaborate ruse that surely no one would fall for… But… He wouldn’t ask you to meet him anymore… You’d still talk to him… She wouldn’t bother you or even have a reason to try to embarrass you on campus. You could stay hidden, it could work… It could really work. “Fine…” You mumbled, running your hands over your face, trying not to think too hard. “You… I don’t want to get involved too much with… What the two of you might do… But if he brings it up in the chat… You’ll have to… Tell me…” It was the last thing you’d ever want to know, but if this was going to work, you’d have to give him up just to have him still… It sounded crazy. You’d never have with him what she could… All you would ever be able to have are late night conversations, living out a fantasy through the tellings of your roommate and him. It would have to be good enough. 

“Oh, don’t worry… I’ll tell you everything!” She clapped her perfectly manicured nails together, and you knew there was something sinister about it, but this felt like the only way. “Get some sleep, we have a lot of planning to do tomorrow. This is going to be great!” 

///

“Where did you tell him to meet me… I mean… you?” She whispered, reading over your shoulder to try to see what the messages on your phone said. This was it… Today was the day… She’d probably tell him to delete the app since he finally met “you”. Was it worth it? Probably not… But you had been alone for the longest time before this all happened, you’d be fine with being alone after this as well. Nothing would change for you… But she would get everything she wanted… As if she didn’t have it all already. 

“The… The fountain, at the center of campus…” You mumbled. Would he really think it was you? The two of you sounded nothing alike… But would he be able to pick up on that? Probably not, he didn’t seem like the type that really cared for things like that. He was so excited that you finally agreed to meet him, the messages were flooding in and she had been right there to read all of them. 

JiHizzy : I’m on my way to the fountain now! 

JiHizzy : I can’t believe this is finally happening… We’ve been talking for almost 4 months now…

JiHizzy : Isn’t this crazy?!?! 

JiHizzy : I’m just a little nervous… I hope you don’t mind.

JustAnotherGirl : I don’t… I don’t mind at all…

Have fun… You thought to yourself as you stood at a distance, watching as Jooyi stood at the fountain, switching between sitting on the edge and standing every couple of seconds. She fumbled with the edge of her skirt, and fixed her hair, then checked her makeup. She was nothing like you… Would he be able to notice, even if you had only talked through text and occasionally on the phone? Was he able to tell your personality through little things like that? 

Then you saw him, practically sprinting towards the fountain, it was like everything was in slow motion. Did he even know who to look for? Would Jooyi fit the image of you that he created in his mind? You leaned against the light pole, your phone clutched against your chest… One message and you could ruin this all for her… But it would cost you too much, and you would have nothing to show for it, nothing to gain. People like you weren’t made for people like him, he would never stoop so low as to even look in your direction. They were made for each other… Who were you to ruin things? 

“Jisung!” You heard her voice ringing in your ears, and you looked up from the pavement to see her waving in his direction, and he paused. Did he know? You watched him closely, and you saw the smile slowly beginning to form on his face before he sprinted over to her. His arms wrapped around her waist in a tight hug, picking her up and spinning her around before setting her on the ground. It would never be you, that could never be you… You made two people happy today… It should feel good, but you felt sick, and you quickly turned away, rushing back to your dorm room. You didn’t have to be there to watch it, you’d hear all about it when she came back. 

///

JiHizzy : It was… Wow… 

JiHizzy : Finally meeting you in person! It’s amazing! 

JustAnotherGirl : Yeah! I’m so happy that I finally got to meet you! 

You sniffled softly as you looked over his messages. They wouldn’t be the same again, nothing would. He’d talk about everything that he did with “you”, and you’d just have to respond as if… as if it were truly you there. This… This deal… It wasn’t fair at all. It was just rubbing into your face everything that Jooyi got to do with him… And he was the one unknowingly telling you… She was evil… But she was a master at being just that. 

JiHizzy : Well… Do you want to talk on the phone? I mean… 

JiHizzy : We’ve already met each other and… I don’t know why… 

JiHizzy : I could ask you for your number… But I don’t want to get rid of the app.

JustAnotherGirl : oh? Why?

JiHizzy : There’s just so many memories on here…

JiHizzy : Sometimes when I’m alone or sad… I go back through our messages. You really know how to make me happy…

JustAnotherGirl : Really…?

JiHizzy : Yeah… Really. 

JiHizzy : Don’t tell anyone though! The guys would totally mock me for that.

JustAnotherGirl : I won’t… I won’t tell anyone.

Jooyi burst through the door, shopping bags lining her arms and she dropped them carelessly to the floor before falling back onto her bed, a loud, ear piercing squeal escaping her as she kicked her feet. “He’s so amazing! He’s so much cuter up close! He wants to take me on a date this weekend!!” She squealed again, and you felt disgusted. Did he want to take her on a date, or did he want to take you on a date? Was it her looks or was it your personality that he liked? 

“I’m… Really happy for you, Jooyi.” You lied through gritted teeth. You hated hearing about it, you hated hearing her in general, but hearing her talk about him as if she was the one who had put in the work over four months to get him to like her… It was unfair. You faked a yawn and rubbed your eyes, acting tired just to be able to wipe your tears without her noticing. “I’m gonna go to the library and study. I’ll see you later.” 

She was lost in her own world, but she sat up as you reached the door, your backpack slung over your shoulder and your hand on the doorknob. “Hey!” You put on a smile as you turned to face her, waiting for her to continue. “Did he message you? Did he talk about me? Hmm?” 

You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket, you knew it was him, but you shook your head. “Haven’t heard from him… Maybe he deleted the app… I don’t know. I have to study though, I’ll let you know if he does.” She sighed softly, letting her head fall back against the mattress, she was back in dreamland. Her whole life was a dream… And yours was a nonstop nightmare. 

///

The library was practically empty when you walked in, you could hear every squeak of the floorboards as the one or two other students paced the shelves of books. You could almost hear the buzzing of the fluorescent light that hung over your head… You could hear… “Is this seat taken?” The man asked, and you looked up to see Jisung standing next to the chair that was across from you. It was strange, and you looked around at the vast amount of empty tables that filled the large building. Why would he want to sit with you? “I don’t like sitting by myself… I feel like it’s easier to study when I have someone sitting with me.” 

Could he read your mind? Pfft, no! That’s impossible. “It’s not taken…” You mumbled, trying to keep your voice low, hoping that he wouldn’t recognize it from the phone calls. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how furious Jooyi would be if she found out about this. Maybe you should just leave. You could study another night. Then your phone vibrated against the table, your heart froze, and Jisung, who had been smiling at his own phone looked up at you. 

“Heh… That’s a coincidence. I just sent a message and your phone vibrated!” He said rather cheerfully, and the way he looked at you, it was like he was expecting you to check it. There was no way in hell you’d do that though. You awkwardly giggled, shoving your phone into your backpack as you shook your head. 

“Probably an email or something… It is… Ironic though…” You whispered, lowering your head even further into the textbook that you had opened. You felt his eyes linger on you though, like they were burning through you, and you didn’t know whether to feel flustered, nervous, or both those things and everything in between. “D-Do you need something? A pencil… Or-” 

“I know you…” He said matter-of-factly, and it was like your throat closed up and your chest tightened. How did he know you? What was he talking about? He couldn’t possibly know you. “You’re the top student… You’re like, mega smart! I can see why now… Do you always study this late?” 

Relief, a sigh of relief and a deep breath. You were safe… You shouldn’t overthink too much. “Mmn…” You nodded your head once but kept it bowed, trying to focus on the words in the textbook, but it was so hard. “Thank you…” You added, wondering if maybe that was what he was waiting for. 

He chuckled softly, and then you felt the table shake as he dropped his own backpack on the table and started pulling out a bunch of notebooks. “You make it seem so easy. How do you just… Concentrate? It’s so hard for me to do.” He whined, and you looked around as his voice got higher and higher. “Oh… Sorry.” His voice dropped back down to a whisper and then he chuckled softly. 

His laugh was contagious and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him, your hand clasping over your mouth to try to muffle the noise. “It’s easy… You just have to find the fun in it.” He rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you and you pursed your lips, trying not to laugh at his reaction. “Seriously. Here, let me show you.” 

It was supposed to be a solo study session, honestly, it was just to try to get away from your roommate long enough for her to fall asleep. You never in your wildest dreams expected this to happen. It was like a scene straight out of a k-drama, but you also knew that after these types of scenes, things got bad. But you didn’t want to think about that right now… All you could think about was the way that he laughed with you, the way he smiled at you, the way he talked to you like you were a person and not just the dirt beneath his shoes. 

“You remind me of someone.” He said nonchalantly as you both started packing up your books. You blinked a few times, your head tilting to the side as you waited for him to elaborate, but he was looking at his phone, his smile dropping slightly as he turned it off and slid it into his pocket. “Oh… It’s nothing. She must have just fallen asleep. She’s always so tired. She studies a lot… Kind of like you. Maybe you can tutor me… I’ll bring her too! That would be cool, right?” Cool… Not at all. It was the complete opposite of cool. That… That would never work.

“M-Maybe… I don’t know… I tutor a couple other people.” You came up with the lie quickly, and you hated the way his smile almost completely disappeared. Maybe you could make an exception… It’s not like he’d find out… Right? Jooyi would just have to act interested in studying. You were sure that if you told her, she’d be on board… “I’ll… I’ll see if I can schedule you in.” 

And just like that, his smile was back and he was pulling his phone out again. “Awesome! Uhm, how about we exchange phone numbers and…” He trailed off when he saw the look on your face, and you were sure that you looked quite uneasy. There was no way that would go over well with Jooyi, she’d flip shit. “How about Anonny… You know the app, right? Everyone has it!” Oh shit… That was even worse. 

“How about… We leave it up to fate.” His eyebrow arched, and you were really going out on a limb here with the excuses, but you had to protect yourself… Not just from him, but from Jooyi too. You didn’t have much to lose… But it was enough to have you terrified. “If we both manage to come to the library at the same time, if you see me here, I’ll tutor you. I usually come at night though… Just so you know.” 

You bowed your head to him as you got up, putting on your backpack and heading out, and you could hear him following behind you. “I’ll be here. Every night. I’ll study on my own too… Thank you, for helping me.” You hummed in response, pushing open the main door and you were met with a rather brisk gust of wind that had you shivering and shoving your hands into your pockets. “Are you cold? Here…” He shimmied out of his top coat, placing it over your shoulders and smiling when he saw it on you. “You can return it to me next time fate brings us together, okay? Just stay warm, and get home safe.” 

For fucks sake… 

///

JiHizzy : Hey, whatcha up to?

JiHizzy : It’s been like… 3 hours… Are you mad or something? 

JiHizzy : You must be sleeping… I just feel like somethings wrong… 

JiHizzy : Let me know when you get this message… Okay?

Your roommate was fast asleep when you finally got in, and you quickly took off Jisungs coat and slid it under your bed, safe for now at least from the prying eyes of Jooyi. As you curled up under your blankets, ready to just fall asleep, ready to let yourself drift off into a world where you didn’t have to pretend and you didn’t have to lie to the man who had sat across from you in the library when there were so many tables to choose from. The man who smiled at you and made you feel like you were the only person in the room. Then your phone vibrated once more from under your pillow. 

JiHizzy : I was studying tonight… I know how important it is to you and… I wanted to do it. JiHizzy : I met someone there, she reminded me of you a lot! 

JiHizzy : I hope these aren’t waking you up… I know you’re sleeping. 

JustAnotherGirl : I was at the library too. We must have just missed each other…

JiHizzy : NO WAY! Dammit! Well… 

JiHizzy : I was thinking that we can do study dates. Wouldn’t that be cool? 

JustAnotherGirl : It would. I really like that idea. 

JiHizzy : Awesome! Okay! 

JiHizzy : Goodnight cutie! 

Study dates… That’s how you had looked at tonight, or you were just delusional. If tonight had happened sooner… Would you have taken Jooyi up on her deal? He seemed to be just fine with you… He wasn’t embarrassed, he wasn’t ashamed to be sitting across from you and laughing with you… Would he have liked you still if he knew who you really were? 

///

“So, how was your night last night? You got home safe?” Jisung asked and you heard Jooyi giggle loudly, it was so fake, it made you sick. He was such a genuine person, and she was nothing but a stuck up little- 

“My night was wonderful! I went shopping for our date this weekend. I can’t wait for you to see the outfits I picked out!” You sank down onto the bench. Shit… You hadn’t told her… What would happen now? 

“Sh-Shopping?” He questioned, and you wanted to crawl under a rock. You wanted to hide from her and the wrath that you knew was bound to be coming your way. “I thought you were studying? You said… You said you were at the library…” 

She went silent, and even though you were outside, you could feel the tension in the air. “Did… Did I say shopping?! Oh my gosh, I meant studying! I’m a big nerd! You know me!” She laughed again, but this time there was something else… Nervousness? Irritation? Anger? She’d be looking for you. 

“You’re acting weird… Are you okay?” He asked, and she scoffed loudly. Should you spare a glance and risk meeting eyes with her? “Were you just… Lying about studying? Was it to try to… Impress me? You know you don’t have to do that.” 

“I know I don’t. I’m impressive enough!” She said loudly, it’s like she enjoyed making scenes. She was disgusting. “I have to go really quick, I forgot my big ol’ textbook back at my room. I’ll meet up with you later? We can have lunch!” 

“Y-Yeah… Sure…” Something had changed… He wasn’t buying it anymore. But you didn’t have time to worry about that. Jooyi was looking for you, and you were tired of being scared of her. You were tired of worrying about what she’d do or what she’d say about you. Jisung liked you, even if just as a friend… You had been made clear of that last night at the library. She couldn’t even make it one day… The two of you were just too different, and he had noticed. You weren’t sure what would happen next, but you weren’t going to hide away, you weren’t going to give in. You deserved to be happy… You might not have the money, you don’t have the luxuries, but you have the willpower, and you have the drive… And that was worth way more than what her money could ever buy. 

“I need to talk to you… Now.” As if like magic, she appeared in front of you. She was angry, no doubt, but there was nothing she could do to hurt you. So you got up, following her off to the side of one of the buildings, and before you could say anything the palm of her hand connected with your cheek. “You bitch! You said that you’d tell me when he messaged you! Was this your plan?! To humiliate me in front of him!” 

Now it was your turn to scoff, your turn to laugh, and while the sting in your cheek hurt, it didn’t hurt as much as knowing that you almost let him get away, you almost let him get stuck with someone like her. “I didn’t have to plan it for it to work out like this. You humiliated yourself. He isn’t your type… Deal with it.” 

“You…” She started, but it quickly turned to a scream, one filled with pure rage as she started grabbing at the pockets of your jacket. “Give me your phone! He doesn’t want you! He wants me! You’re nothing! You’re poor and you’re pathetic and you’ll never have him! Why would anyone want you!” She just… screamed… She screamed so loud, and with every attempt to grab at you, you swatted her hands away, backing up further and further until you bumped into something… or… someone. “Oh! Jisung!” She full stopped, adjusting her hair and putting on the fakest smile. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking between you and Jooyi. “What are you talking about?” His eyes focused on you a lot longer, as if studying you, and you felt the heat of his gaze, but it didn’t burn, it just made you feel warm, it made you feel safe. “Why do you want her phone?” 

Jooyi was stuttering over herself, unable to form a coherent sentence as her head shook violently. “She… Sh-She’s blackmailing me, Ji! She stole my username on Anonny… She’s pretending to be me so that she can get with you… So she can take you away from me!” She whined, and you couldn’t help but look disgustedly at her. She truly was the queen of scenes, stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum like a child would. How pathetic. 

“My… tutor… Is blackmailing… You?” He questioned, and her eyes widened before turning her daggers towards you. “What’s your name on Anonny? If she stole it from you… What is it?” You didn’t have to do anything, he was putting all of the pieces together for himself. You weren’t sure what would happen once the puzzle finally came together… And maybe it wouldn’t work out for you… But to see her get knocked down to size, it made it all worth it. 

“I-It… My Anonny name? You know it! You tell me what it is!” She said, and you knew why, she was trying to get him to say it… But he was smarter than that. He shook his head, letting out a disappointed chuckle, and then his attention was back on you. “Don’t! Don’t look at her! Look at me! You love me!” 

“Do I?” He whispered, but he never looked away from you, his head tilted and a small smile on his face. “What’s your Anonny username?” He asked, and you felt the heat rising inside of you. This was your chance, your moment, you didn’t know where it would lead you to, but it was time. 

“I’m… JustAnotherGirl… Just another girl that has a crush on you… That gets overlooked and forgotten. But I’m here… And I’ve been here for four months…” You murmured, and he let out a shaky gasp. Was he embarrassed? Was he ashamed that you were the girl he had been talking to for so long? “I’m sorry. I’m not popular, I’m not even close to rich. I don’t have much to give… But-” 

“But you’re perfect…” He stepped closer to you, causing you to stumble back as your breath hitched in your throat. “You’re smart, and you’re sweet… You’re kind and you’re genuine. You’re not materialistic, you’re just… You’re wonderful, you’re wonderfully you…” His hand reached up, his knuckles brushing lightly against your cheek. “You’re the girl that I fell in love with…” 

“WHAT!!?” Jooyi screeched from behind you, and before you knew it, you and Jisung were being pushed apart. “Are you serious right now?! Her?! She’s… She’s a roach! She’s vermin! I can’t believe you right now! Have you seen me?!” 

“Sadly.” Jisung retorted, and it took everything in you not to laugh, but everyone that had gathered around to see what was going on laughed enough for you. “I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” 

“G-Girlfriend?!” Jooyi scoffed, running her hands through her hair. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Just… When you lose all your friends because you’re with a loser, don’t come crawling back to me! Have fun being not popular!” 

“I think it’s time for us to go, don’t you?” He asked, completely ignoring her now as he draped his arm over your shoulder. “You want lunch? Anything you want, it’s on me.” 

///

HanJi : I’ll be at the library soon. I’ve got hot cocoa!

Beautiful Wonderful Girlfriend : Don’t drive too fast, the snow is really coming down now… 

“I know it is…” His voice came from behind you, and then the cups of hot cocoa were placed in front of you on the table. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” You glanced out the window, awestruck at just how beautiful campus could look when blanketed in dazzling white snow. “You brought your coat, right?” 

You nodded your head, patting the chair beside you where the coat that he had given you almost 2 years ago was neatly hanging over the back of the seat. “It’s your coat… You just won’t let me give it back.” You teased, and he let out a soft sigh as he dropped down into his seat. He hadn’t changed a bit since the first time you both sat at this table together. 

It was strange how time worked, it felt like forever ago, but you remembered it like it had happened just yesterday. “It’s our coat, babe. What’s mine is yours.” He sounded so serious, but you couldn’t help but laugh at the statement. He was talking like the two of you were… Married? Your laughter subsided as you stared at him across the table, your lips parted slightly as you let out a quiet breath. 

“You’re funny…” You said sheepishly, turning your attention back out the window, focusing on the snowflakes that danced down from the sky, finding the perfect place to rest. “We’re not married, our things don’t have to be shared…” Even though you both had been together for two years and he was the sweetest, most loving boyfriend you had ever had… You still couldn’t get those words out of your head. The words from the past that had been uttered by the girl that had wanted to take your place… He would never want to be with someone like you…

“Yet…” He murmured, the word like a breath leaving his lips. You blinked a few times, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks, your heart thumping loudly in your chest. Did he really love you that much? Could someone really love you that much? Were you deserving of this much love, to be with someone like him? “What are you thinking about, babe?” He cooed, reaching across the table to grab your hands that were folded on top, his thumb brushing lightly across your knuckles. 

“I’m just…” You began, feeling the familiar sting of fresh tears beginning to brim in your eyes, but it was slightly different this time… They weren’t tears of sadness or fear… You were happy. “I’m so lucky… And… I never thought I’d be with someone so amazing… So perfect…” You could barely get your voice above a whisper, your throat closing up from trying to hold back your tears. 

“Mm…” He hummed, pushing away from the table and getting up, walking around to your side of the table and grabbing your hand. “Let’s take a walk… yeah?” One more glance out the window and you saw the snow creating almost a wall of white as it came down harder, but there was no wind, it was just… beautiful. “I’ll keep you warm, don’t worry.” 

You nodded your head, grabbing the coat and slipping it on, the scent of his cologne, although faded, still brought you comfort when you put it on. “Where are we going?” You quizzed, slipping your fingers between his as you both walked out of the library. You were sure that nothing would be open, not with this weather. 

“Anywhere… I just… I want to walk with you.” He said, his voice kind of shaky, like his nerves had gotten the better of him. He led you aimlessly through campus, and you followed right along beside him. You didn’t really care where you were going, as long as you were with him, you’d follow the path he was taking blindly with your hand in his. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ll do it…” 

Was he talking to you or was he just thinking out loud? You looked to him, the snowflakes catching on your eyelashes as you tried to read him, but he was looking straight forward, his lips turned up into a lopsided smile. “How you’ll do what?” Even though you were speaking softly, the silence that surrounded you made every word sound so loud. 

“Propose.” He sounded so calm, but the singular word alone had you pausing, pulling him back so he would face you. “What? Can I not think about how I’m going to propose to my wonderful, beautiful, amazing, sweet, lovely-“ 

“Okay okay!” Even after 2 years, you still weren’t the best at taking compliments, especially when he was looking at you so intently. “Why are you thinking about that right now? We’re still in college and… I want you to focus on graduating. So we can both be successful. You know?” 

His hand slipped out of yours and then his arm snaked around your waist as he started walking again, pulling you along with him. “I can focus on graduating, and I can focus on you. I’ve been doing it since the day I truly met you… the real you.” He chuckled quietly, the sound building in his chest as his head shook. It was funny now, to look back on everything that happened. “And I like thinking about the future, it makes me happy to know that I’ll be spending it with you. But you don’t have to worry about me proposing in college… I wouldn’t want everyone to see. I want it to be a moment for us to remember.” You hummed softly, leaning against his shoulder as you simply listened to him, you let him get lost in his thoughts because you didn’t mind getting lost in them either. They had you looking forward to a better, simpler time where the two of you would be able to be together without worrying about grades and finals. “Flower petals will line the path that I’ll take you down…” He murmured, and your eyes were focused on his face, not noticing the trail of pink and red in the snow. “A gazebo, with fairy lights twinkling brightly, shining in your eyes…” He continued, sighing softly. “Nobody is around, the snow is falling, you look absolutely stunning against the backdrop…” 

“A winter proposal?” You asked, and you were so lost in his thoughts and your own that you hadn’t even noticed how far you had walked until he was leading you up the stairs of a white wooden gazebo, perfect icicles hanging off the roof of it, and… fairy lights illuminated the inside. “Ji…” You whispered his name, a tuft of smoke coming from your mouth as you breathed it out. His arm left your waist and he kneeled down in front of you, his cheeks a dark pink from both the cold and his nerves. “You said… You said you wouldn’t propose when we were still in college…” 

He snickered, fishing a black velvet box out of his pocket, his snow dampened hair curtaining his eyes as he kept his head down. “I meant… not while we were in the college. We’re not on the grounds anymore…” He finally looked up at you, and you let out a shaky gasp as it truly set in what he was doing. “I don’t want to wait any longer, I know that you’re the one that I want to spend all of my life with. I’ve never felt more comfortable with anyone else. I love you, I’ve known that I loved you since before I even… before I even knew you. I wake up every morning and thank everything that you’re mine, and I fall asleep every night knowing that no matter what, everything will be okay because I have you by my side. I don’t care what anyone thinks, I don’t care what people might say… I only care that you’re happy… And if you say yes, I promise… To do my best to make you feel happy and loved every single day until the day that I die.” He opened the box, and the diamond facets of the silver ring glistened and reflected the lights that had been strung up. “So… Will you… Will you marry me?” 

You choked out a sob, dropping to your knees in front of him as you nodded your head yes, and he quickly pulled the ring out of the box, his hand shaking as he slid it onto your finger. “Ji…” Was all you could say as you looked at the ring, cold, yet so beautiful in its place. His chilled hands cupped your cheeks, tilting your head so that your eyes would meet his. “I love you…” 

“And I’ll always love you.” He leaned in, kissing you softly and humming against your lips. “Shall we go back inside and warm up, my beautiful, lovely, wonderful, amazing-“ 

“Stop~” You playfully whined, giggling quietly as you dropped your gaze once more. “You’re so cheesy…” You mumbled, and then you felt his lips against your forehead, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face. 

“And you’re… You’re everything to me…” He pushed himself up to his feet, carefully pulling you up and then hugging you tightly. “Thank you, for making me happy, for loving me… I can’t wait to marry you."

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[lyahh483]

prompt: in which matt forgets to end the switch stream.

Matt invites me over to hang out because he just finished streaming on Twitch with Chris and Nick for three hours. I tell him he doesn't need to stream for that long, but he feels like he needs to because he loves the fans so much. Before I could knock, Matt swung the door open and gave me a kiss, pulling me to his room and shutting the door. Before I could react, I felt him push his lips against mine. "I've wanted you all day; you were all I was thinking about on stream.".

Matt says, staring at me with his needy eyes. "Now you have me," I say, putting myself on the bed and staring at Matt's every move. He crawls on to me, keeping eye contact the entire time, until he starts kissing me again, this time the kisses being sloppier and wet. I could hear Matt quietly whimpering, wanting more of me. He goes down to my neck and gives me a slow kiss, going all the way down to my pussy and giving it a kiss before going back up. 

"Matt, please," I beg, squirming from the need for him and the throbbing of my pussy. He doesn't say anything but lick his lips, giving a soft smirk before pulling off my shorts and panties. He pulls me by my legs, making sure he has enough space, and rubs his tip against my clit, entering himself slowly and starting to thrust inside me. "Right there, baby," barely being able to let my words out. He then looks down at himself, fucking me, and gives a soft smirk again, fucking me faster and faster, seeing how I react to it.

"You're pussy is taking my dick so good, baby." as he stares at how my pussy is taking him. Before I could say anything, Matt started to get calls, but he ignored them. Someone was spam-calling Matt. "M-matt, stop. Someone is calling you, and it's probably important," I say, sitting up on the bed. Matt clenches his jaw slightly and answers the phone: It's  Chris." "MATT END THE FUCKING LIVE STREAM," Chris says, panicking. 

"what?"

"END THE FUCKING LIVE STREAM; IT'S STILL GOING."

Matt freezes and slowly goes over to his setup because Chris has to be joking. I sit there confused, following Matt's movements to his setup. Matt gets to his computer and sees that the stream is still live. "Oh fuck," ending the stream quickly. "MATT WHAT?" I was irritated by him not answering me.

"Baby, about twenty-two k people saw us fucking," he answers, looking the most deadass he has ever looked. "You're lying, Matt. Are you fucking kidding me!"."I know I'm sorry. I thought I ended it... I thought Chris ended it?. "THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY TWENTY TWO K PEOPLE SAW US FUCKING YOU HAVE TO BE LYING." I respond standing up and yelling at Matt. 

Matt didn't say anything; he didn't have anything to say; he just let me yell at him. "UGH AND CHRIS SAW US FUCKING AND ME NAKED MATT FUCK," I say, panicking. "Baby, calm down. It's okay. It’ll be okay. This probably won't even become a big thing." rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. After a few minutes of silence, I started laughing.

Matt looks over at me, confused, scrunching his eyebrows. "Matt.. we have a sex tape," i said, looking over at him. "I guess we do; I guess we gotta own that shit now,".

[tiramisuucakeee]

PASSIFLORA ★

( latina idol! reader x idol! lee heeseung )

IN WHICH: a latina debuts in a k-pop group, and lee heeseung finds himself liking everything sweet about her.

BTW: no specific country mentioned. some spanish dialogue.

DC: mi gente latino engenes. y el mejor país de chile.

read more !

having debuted in a group as a foreigner wasn’t easy, specially since y/n had a massive language and cultural barrier separating her from her members.

she was crazy talented, and learned how to go around, but the huge backlash from netizens for being different to her members, was definitely making her hold back, becoming shy, even. she did try her best to follow through with everything. though, in the privacy of her dorm room, when making live videos and interacting with online fans, she felt a bit better, being able to talk in her mother tongue with people, remembering where she was from.

sometimes it came in handy, she wouldn’t fall for spanish jokes, nor wear clothing without knowing what the print on the shirts meant. and of course, she attracted an immense amount of attention to the group, like so much.

and with that, also came along an immense amount of people that didn’t like her. because no one can ever be loved by everyone.

so when y/n’s group had to film promotional tiktoks with enhypen, she had to make sure she didn’t get too close to anyone, look at any of them, or smile too much.

which was almost impossible, seeing as this one man called lee heeseung, who was unbelievably confident this day, wanted to greet her like people do in latin america, the kiss, just a little act of kindness so that she would feel comfortable.

y/n was absolutely shocked, as everyone else in the room. it was like time froze, and the people waited for someone to say or do something. both group managers wanted to scold heeseung in that moment for getting too close, but what they didn’t expect was for her to go in for the same greeting, saying how nice it was to finally do that, to be able to greet someone like she normally would.

the situation was ignored for the time being, or at least that’s what it should have been. because on both sides of their agencies, everyone was absolutely panicking.

the girls were telling y/n how insane that was. but y/n paid no mind to it, she thought he was nice and considerate. having lived her whole life in latam before becoming a trainee and moving away, comparing what he did with how latin american boys act, heeseung barely did something, intimacy was very different in both countries. to her, this was just a friendly greeting. though her group members kept pestering her, saying it was a love confession.

on the other hand, heeseung tried to be nonchalant about it, key word, tried. he couldn’t deny feeling like he absolutely messed up. truth was, he didn’t expect his little act of kindness to make him feel some type of way about the girl.

one day, he got a weverse notification from his secret account, and started watching her live video on his computer monitor, with the door wide open, thinking he was home alone.

y/n propped he phone up on the kitchen counter, revealing most of her outfit, which was a football shirt from her country’s selection and sweatpants, before fixing the screen, pointing it towards her bare face.

soon enough, more people started to join the live, sending her love and comments. she had a big grin on her face, and her eyes lit up at that.

“hola a todos, hi everyone!” she waved at the screen, making heeseung’s heart skip a beat.

y/n proceeded to explain what she was doing in korean, with a bit of difficulty and very formally, but she tried her best. before switching back and forth between languages.

“okay, so i got this fruit,” she showed it to the camera, a yellowish type of fruit, covered in brown specs. y/n, started to crack it open, telling everyone how excited she was to try it.

“i’m really happy i found this, it’s called a granadilla and if it’s difficult to find back home, it’s even more difficult to find here. don’t tell anyone this, but i met a woman in the market, who had family living in latin america, and they told me they could get this to me,” she lifted up a plastic bag, with various of the same fruits inside, making a small smile appear in heeseung’s face at her adorable reaction.

“so, i found out we were from the same country and she was like but mi niña are you here on vacation? isn’t it school time back home? and i was like, no, no, todo bien, ya no vivo allá, i’m a singer here, and i’m not even in school anymore. si tengo como venti-tantos años, and the lady looked at me like i was crazy, i don’t know if this happens everywhere, but atleast back home, it’s really shameful if you’re not in college or school, like you are going to be a nobody if you don’t study, that’s probably why she was so shocked, and she also told me i look very young, which is a good compliment for me,” y/n laughed, finally cracking open the fruit, and then heeseung realized how quick she spoke in her native language, besides the point that he had no clue what she was talking about, which made it more interesting.

“i remember coming back home after school when i was a kid, and eating these things cold. so this would be my first one in years, ” she showed the fruit to the camera, picking the inside up with a spoon, and giving it a try, her eyes instantly widened.

“esta demasiado buena, no puede ser,” she gasped, tasting the fruit again. “guys, you have to try this someday, i swear you will like it,” she pointed at the camera.

heeseung instantly took out his phone, searching it up, all while not noticing the rest of the guys who shared dorm with him had arrived, jay, sunghoon and niki.

the youngest one went to go bother heeseung, and stopped in his tracks when he saw him grinning like a mad man at his screen, which was a weird sight, he would usually be infuriated at a video game, but he was doing anything besides that now.

“what are you doing?” niki spoke, clearly seeing y/n on the screen. the oldest one almost jumped from the surprise, and quickly shut down the monitor, trying to act normal, “nothing.”

“is that y/n?” niki squinted his eyes at him. that was when the oldest knew he had been caught, but he would never admit it.

days later, to his luck, they were bound to meet again at a music show.

backstage, heeseung couldn't help but feel a flutter in his chest as he waited for her group's performance. the excitement wasn't just for the show, but because he knew he'd get to see y/n again.

he'd been thinking about that smile she gave him earlier before she went on stage. the one that made his heart race. every little interaction between the two of them had him second-guessing how he felt. was it just a crush? or was it something more?

heeseung’s attention snapped to the screen. there she was, performing with her group. and then, as the performance neared its end, y/n did her signature ending fairy, blowing a kiss toward the camera. heeseung's heart skipped. he wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“did you see that?” jungwon, who was standing next to heeseung, grinned mischievously. “she just sent that flying kiss to you.”

heeseung shot him a glare, trying to ignore the way his cheeks flushed at the thought. "no, she didn't," he muttered, though he couldn't hide the slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

once the performance ended, and her group walked backstage, his eyes remained on her, watching as they all bowed to each other for courtesy.

when her eyes met his, it felt like time slowed. there was that brief moment, just a second longer than necessary, where she held his gaze. and then, she smiled at him again, a soft, almost caring smile that had heeseung's heart racing all over again. he quickly returned it, though the warmth in his chest didn’t fade.

afterward, the female group made its way to the resting room. heeseung tried to focus on his own performance, but his thoughts kept drifting to her.

meanwhile, y/n was sorting through her things when a staff member knocked on the door with a delivery.

she opened it, curious, and saw a bag marked with the word passiflora written on it.

y/n thanked the staff and opened the bag, seeing her absolute all-time favorite fruit inside. it was almost incredible, the thought of someone giving her something like this. she was sure it was for her, none of her members even knew about the existence of this fruit.

but what caught her eye the most was the small note tucked carefully beneath the fruit. she pulled it out, unfolding the paper to reveal neat handwriting.

‘ i hope they taste as sweet as you look - l.hs ’

she could practically hear his voice in her head, shy yet warm, as she imagined him scribbling those words. it made her feel strangely light, her heart a little more at ease.

liz, who had been sitting nearby, looked up from her phone with a grin. “spill it. who’s the mysterious fruit sender?”

she chuckled, tucking the note back into the bag. “it’s from him.” she replied, knowing liz would understand.

liz raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “so, what’s going on between you two, huh? you’re both sending each other hearts with your eyes, and now fruit? someone’s got a crush.”

y/n rolled her eyes, though a small laugh escaped. “it’s not like that, liz, i can’t have a crush, i can’t date.”

but before liz could say anything more, y/n’s phone buzzed. she glanced down, seeing an unknown number. with a quick glance at liz, she opened the message.

unknown: i hope you got them, and you’d like them too, it wasn’t easy finding a vendor TT

y/n felt her cheeks warm as she read the text. it was from heeseung, obviously. she quickly typed a response, a little flustered.

y/n l/n: thanks, heeseung. you really didn’t have to, but i appreciate it

before she could even set her phone down, another message popped up.

lee heeseung: i meant every word, and i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately

was this really happening? y/n felt a wave of excitement and a bit of nervousness at the same time. without thinking too much, she typed back quickly.

y/n l/n: i’ve been thinking about you too. let’s talk more soon

y/n hit send and placed her phone down, trying to act nonchalant. liz looked at her knowingly, a grin on her face as she teased, “looks like someone’s got it bad.”

she shook her head, though a little smile betrayed y/n. “stop teasing, he’s just being sweet,” but even she knew that it was a lie, he wasn’t just being friendly. and if this continued, their agencies would have a field trip with the dating rumors.

EXTRA:

masterlist.

[lxdymoon0357]

Hi! Hi! Hi!

Sovieshu x reader(+Glorym) Rashta di*d while giving birth to Glorym, leaving Glorym to Sovieshu, Sovieshu and reader met each other love at first sight, reader becomes the "mother" of glorym

English isnt my first language so forgive me if its confusing😔

You can ignore this if you wish to:D

~K

(NOOOOOOOOOOO....MY POOOOOKKKIEEEEE!!! Ian is also there for the emtional love~ I'd love to see the look on Kiki's face when she gets the notification for this @ladykir4)

© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.

Chocolate Cheeks!

◈ Of-course Rashta's death affected Sovieshu, considering his daughter was left to him completely who he wasn't sure how to take care of..ad with Rashta's wishes, Sovieshu had to get Ian back from Libetti Rimwell, before leaving them as they want..so two infants to take care of, it wasn't easy...no, on top of that, being an emperor took a toll on Sovieshu.

◈ But surprisingly, he met you at one of Ian's banquet, with the rumor that Ian was hidden due to bad health like Rashta, as he took care of both the children..But of-course as fate would have it, Ian ran and hid in a gorgeous person's arms and from there..Sovieshu got a new spouses, YOU!

◈ Of-course, you'd have to take care of the children a bit, despite them being illegitimate, with a newborn Gloreym and Ian and he felt so much better, Of-course Rashta holds a place in his heart..but You have your own place.

◈ He would compare you at times to Rashta, but reminds himself you both are different people and honestly you're happy to have him heal a bit. Days are often spend with lavish gifts, cuddling with the two babies who coo and babble to you 24/7 and seeing the two bond weirdly close.

◈ God the two have the chubbiest cheeks wit the most contagious laughs, no wonder Rashta was easily loved, you'd realize. As you'd comfort one of the babies in the middle of the night after one of them woke up crying, waking the other too while Sovieshu's comforting the other inside the room.

◈ The kids cling to you, nothing's off limits. Seriously, even as growing up, the two cling to you and you'd try to tell them about Rasta as much as you'd be able to if you were close with her, the public's opinion and stuff. Sovieshu always smiles, seeing you and the two together.

◈ Another thing is, Sovieshu gets a bit petty when he doesn't get enough attention, so aside from children, you have an emperor clinging to you as well, good luck. But all three are cute, so you're lucky.

◈ With a Sovieshu comes great responsibilities and that comes in the form of hyperactive cuties with fluffy silverish-blonde hair and adorable faces who look like angels who have an obsession with shiny things like little crows, as they continue to cling to your dresses and follow you everywhere like little ducklings.

◈ Sovieshu adores children, as it was stated in the novel somewhere, and so I do think that maybe after Ian and Gloreym grow a few years older and become more manageable, he'd like to have more children with you, one that looks like you now! Your hair colour, your smile or even your temper, s the world could see his love even as years passed, like they saw his love for Rashta through Ian and Gloreym.

◈ He showers you with incredible gifts and always makes sure you enjoy yourself aside from caring for his kids, he didn't want you to go through the depressing motions of taking care of children that Rashta suffered briefly after the rumors of Gloreym not being his daughter...and you settle well into your role as an empress if you take up the position.

◈ Overall he's an incredibly person who adores you and keeps you safe in his heart, though Rashta occupies a bit f it, you also share it with her, and you did not mind it as Sovieshu moves on and it sometimes feels like Rashta also moves on with her afterlife of the breeze as if someone is happily running with ribbons in their hair..

[miss-cincaide]

Pretty Broken Things

Summary: Toji Fushiguro was a cruel, possessive man who didn’t like it when someone played with his toys. He was especially unhappy when someone touched his favourite toy. The last straw was when you decided to not do as told. it was just jealousy, pure and simple.. Or was it?

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Toji Fushuguro  Kinktober prompt 5: Jealousy sex:  WC: 3.7 K Warnings: Dark Content, Minors DNI!This fic contains: toxic relationship, Toji is a huge red flag & yandere, dirty talk, object play in mouth and v (weapon), hj, dub-con, yandere behaviour, dirty talk, alcohol and cursing, mystery and murder (side char) Author note: Am I ever gonna write a healthy, green flag Toji? Honestly, not sure.. But what I am sure about is that, that day is not today!  Enjoy

Toji had the emotional maturity of a pre-schooler!

The spoiled brat kind with a ton of games and toys always cried for new ones, yet once he got them, he’d play with them for a week before discarding them in the back of the closet, never to be touched again. At least until someone paid attention, or, god forbid, played with them. In that instant, Toji would have a change of heart, and those unused things he hadn’t touched in months became the very best things in existence. 

Except toys weren’t toys, but human beings and unused things were the countless women he seduced with his bad-boy persona. All those poor bitches who thought they’d be able to change Toji. To melt his jackass persona, to claw their way into his heart and nest there for life while he burned the world that wronged them. Be special to him, his ‘one and only princess’.

Fucking idiots. Including yourself. 

Still, you knew that no matter how many women he eye-fucked on the dance floor, how many women he had in his lap at the drinking booth or how many throats he shoved his tongue down, the second someone showed interest in you, you would have his full and undivided attention. You were his ‘favourite’ for a reason, after all. 

So you knew exactly what you were doing when you sat at the half-empty bar beside a suit-clad man instead of joining the other fawning girls at Toji’s booth. Before you even managed to get comfortable, the man turned to face you, flashed you a smile and leaned just a little too close for comfort. “Hey, pretty, you alone?” 

You saw his eyes trail down your cleavage, which moderately showed through the little black dress you picked for the evening. The dress was moderately modest and stopped a few inches above your knees, but it hicked up deliciously up your leg as you crossed your legs in your seat. The man’s eyes dropped instantly to your bare thigh, then back up to your face. The lewd grin on his face clearly said he appreciated your beauty. 

You, in turn, resisted the urge to slap that smirk and wiggling eyebrows right off his face. If the bastard thought he could pull off Toji’s signature move, he had another thing coming. Instead, you just gave him an awkward smile that looked a lot more like a grimace. That didn’t deter him; if anything, the man seemed to relish in your smile- the lack of an immediate rejection was taken as an invitation to continue. “Tell you what? Let me buy you a drink, and we will get to know each other a little better.” 

The hell no died on your lips the second you felt Toji’s menacing stare in your back. The scalding glare made you shudder. You knew he disapproved without turning around and seeing his frowning expression. You straightened your back a little and turned your entire body to face the stranger. Then you leaned against the bar and rested your head on your propped-up arm as you looked him up and down with a slightly more pleasant smile. “In that case, an old-fashioned, on the rocks.” 

The man whistled lowly, “A woman with character, I like that; I’m Tom, by the way” he motioned for the bartender to fix you your drink and put it on his tab, completely oblivious to the approaching threat, aka Toji, who abandoned is booth and made his way towards the bar. His baritone voice and the girl giggling on his arm enough on an announcement to draw heads, either in jealousy or frustration at his shameless loud behaviour. You heard him and the girl settle a few chairs away from you and order drinks of their own. 

You saw Toji from the corner of your eye, the unmistakable tension in his jaw and the warning stare that so obviously ordered you to quit playing about. Flipp the wus you were with and come over to him like a good girl. Be good. Be obedient. 

You turned your back more to him, avoided his stare and focused on the man in front of you. But you knew precisely what you were doing as you reached forward and accepted the drink. And then another one and a third. With each promile of alcohol, you became more and more relaxed, your smile less forced, and you even genuinely laughed at Tom’s awful jokes. 

You were entertained, far from happy, but at least you weren’t wasting away another day attention-less and pitiful, waiting for the off chance that Toji decided he was done whoring around and came back to you. 

You snorted at the thought, at your own damn foolishness, and masked by the half-quiet music of the bar and the clang of ice in your glass as you finished yet another drink. You turned expectedly back to your companion. Rather than refill your glass, he flashed you a toothy smile, then wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “How about we take this somewhere private?” 

You gaped. You also heard Toji snort into his drink. That was all the motivation you needed to agree. You let Tom help you off your barstool, then trail behind him towards the back exit of the bar. You doubted the two of you would make it very far from there. As you passed Toji, he froze you with his mere sideway glare.

“You’ve had your fun, doll” Toji growled, his dark blue eyes almost rage-black. “Behave.” 

You stepped in Toji’s direction, and his interest returned to the drink and the older woman that clung to him like a school girl. If you were pathetic for being hung up on Toji; this woman was just pitiful.

Tom glanced over his shoulder, noticed you didn’t follow him and stopped walking. An awkward look on his face, his hand in his hair as his eyes flickered from you, to the woman and then Toji. “Do you know this man?” 

You tore your eyes away from your competition to the stranger, then to Toji’s smug expression as if he expected you to settle on his other arm or replace the old hag he got bored of. Maybe, if you did it cleanly and with a good cat-fight, he’d even get you a drink as a reward. You glanced away from Toji, unable to look at that condescending look that clearly stated you weren’t going anywhere without him. You were His doll, his property through and through. 

 “No clue who that is.” 

You didn’t look at Toji, didn’t spare him a second glance, or even acknowledge the hackling woman on his arm who loudly made comments about you. Clearly, she was familiar with Toji’s favourite routine and intended to provoke you into a catfight. To secure her place beside him for a few more hours. To feel mighty that she could beat someone clearly 20 years younger than her, and to feel better about her own shitty self. 

You followed Tom outside the bar. You tried to look calm, but inside you were freaking out. What the fuck did you just do? God, you just knew Toji was going to make you regret it. Fuck, you shouldn’t have said that. You should not have said that. Maybe there was still time to go back and apologize? 

You realized you were fucked.

The stranger pulled open the flimsy metal back door. It gave away with a squeak and your numb legs carried you into the cold outside. You felt sick to your stomach; anxiety spiked to unimaginable levels. You wobbled, stumbled, caught yourself last second without making it far from the damned bar. Tom came to stand in front of you; his hand on your arm steadied you.  “Hey there, you’re looking kinda–” Pang

You didn’t have time to react before hot blood sprayed over your hair and face, some of it dropped on your clothes. Your ears rang, the sound from the gunshot behind you deafening. For a second, everything was still, and your mind could not comprehend what had happened. You just stared at Tom’s face—how the concern look morphed into shock. His mouth opened and closed, a gurgling sound was all that came out. His hand tightened on your arm, then let go, and his body collapsed backwards onto the concrete floor with a ‘duns’. 

The reality came back. Your panic was unmistakable and unmanageable anymore.“Ahh-” 

“Shut up, whore!” Toji’s authoritative tone came from behind you, inside the bar, instantly silenced you. You glanced over your shoulder through the open door. The sight of him with his gun raised will forever be embedded in your memory. You swore it was still smoking, the comic-like white smoke poofing off the nuzzle, but it couldn’t be; that’s not how guns worked… did they? 

Toji stepped towards you, and that small act snapped you out of your trance. He was gonna kill you too; you were sure of it. Your legs moved towards the exit without registering it. No, you weren’t ready to die, you weren’t— 

Slam 

Your back slammed against the wall as Toji pounced on you; his entire weight restrained you with ease. Like a rag doll, he could manoeuvre you how he wanted to with practiced ease. “Owi-” Your whine was cut off as you caught sight of the gun, fliched as he brought it to your face. You could feel its heat and weight on your lower lip, the barrow aimed at you, angled at an awkward angle up. Would he shoot you in the face too? Shoot off your face? 

You froze, too afraid to move. To stunned to make a pip. 

“What don’t you fucking understand, whore? I said Shut. It.” Toji was furious; his eyebrows frowned, and a storm brewed in his expression. Such fucking jealous fury that you could have thought you had pissed in his cornflakes and then hand-fed it to him. A fury not warranted of you leaving a bar with another man. 

“ I decide what’s warranted you brat.” Toji snapped, having easily read your thoughts. “And I told you ‘behave’, loud and fucking clear, didn’t I? DIDN’T I?!” 

“ Yes”, you breathed, your eyes flickered to the side, your gaze landed on Tom’s lifeless body.  Your stomach turned, and bile rose in your mouth until Toji pulled back an inch and then slammed your body against the wall again. Stars danced in your vision, the need to be sick faded as your eyes landed back on his face. Another pained moan fell from your lips. 

Toji used that opportunity to push the gun barrel in your mouth. 

“ You look at me when I’m talking,” he growled, pushing the gun as far in as it would go. “The heck I’m supposed to do with you? Tsk. I turn my fucking head for a minute, and you’re whoring yourself out to some slimeball. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” 

You couldn’t tell what made Toji more furious; the fact that you were ‘whoring yourself out’ or the man you had picked for the occasion. Why the latter would matter you had no clue but you weren’t about to question him when he was in that mood. 

Seconds ticked by, yet to you they felt like agonizing years.

You swallowed thickly, the only movement you dared to do. Toji’s eyes flickered to your throat, then back to your face. The furious expression shifted into a toothy grin. “What are you waiting for? Special fucking invitation? You wanna slut around, then go on, suck this fucking gun like it were that filth dick.” 

“W-what?” You gasped; the words came out muffled. Surely he didn’t just-

“Suck it!” 

He did.  Fuck. How did you even..? Okay, no choice, you had to pretend it was a dick. Or a dildo. Yeah, that could work. It wouldn’t be the first time you sucked off an inanimate object. You just need to get your head in the game, focus, make it look sexy. Believe it. Or you’re done for. 

You took a deep breath through your nose, forced yourself to think of the last time you gave a blowjob, then shifted your head back just a little to give yourself more room to work with. Just a dildo, you told yourself before you started. You bobbed your head back, stuck your tongue out and ran it over the warm metal. Wiggled it over the barrel, lingered on the opening, and then took it back in your mouth as you could. Your eyes water,  lips brushed against Toji’s calloused fingers, then moved back as they twitched. 

You repeated the movement until the anger in his face melted into something carnal. Until you felt his bulge pressed against your thigh. You shivered despite yourself. Fuck he was getting off on this, wasn’t he? You glanced up at his face, and Tojil looked ready to fuck your brains out. 

 “Mmm, good little bitch. Rock that mouth. You look like such a slut sucking on my handgun.”Toji hummed; his eyes never left your. His gaze flickered between your eyes, your lips and the drool running down your chin“God, your mouth is the best thing bout you, isn’t it? Can’t wait to have it on me.”

You flushed, your hand moved from your side to him. You wrapped your fingers around his cock through his sweatpants, the material loose enough for you to grasp him firmly. You could tell he wasn’t fully there yet but fuck he wasn’t soft either. You moaned; Toji bucked into your hand, and you twisted your wrist in time with his thrusts. Your breathing grew laboured, closer to his. He slapped your hand away from himself before he could cum in his pants like a teenager. “Not gonna ah happen.” he rasped, punching the wall beside your head to clear his mind. 

You jumped, flinched off the gun, a string of saliva between you and the barrel. “You say that but...” 

“ Take it back; I like you quiet,” Toji trailed off, readjusting the grip on the gun. His fingers of his other hand over the barrel of the gun gathered some saliva from the corner of your lips and rolled it between his thumb and finger. His eyes ran you up and down before he kicked your legs open. Those coated fingers went straight under your dress, rolling the damp digits over panties, then under in slow, steady circles right over your clit until you threw your head back, moaning.  “Such a nasty slut, I own” 

“Hmmm” you groaned, cracking an eye open as he pressed a kiss to your puffy lips, pushed his tongue it, swirled it in that breath-taking way that only Toji could. You broke the kiss first, panting pitifully. “L-lets go home, baby?” 

“mmmpgh. Nasty sluts don’t need privacy.” Toji sneered; although he was smiling, his eyes still showed nothing but pure jealous fury. “You were gonna fuck that bastard in this very alley, no need to get shy now” He pulled his hand back, gripped the fabric of your panties, then tore them open. “Dumb sluts will fuck anything and everything, won’t they, Y/N?” 

You gasped, whined shook your head; your eyes grew to the sizes of saucers as Toji grabbed your free hand and forced it around the momentarily forgotten gun. The hilt felt warm and clammy, sticky and much heavier than you imagined.

 “T-toji What?” you gasped, shuddering as he trailed your finger over the trigger. 

“Press here, bunny, and you’ll blow yourself a fourth hole, got it?” You didn’t manage to react as Toji lowered the gun between your legs and pushed it in. 

“Toji!” You screamed, bucking away from the metal. His hand, with yours in it, followed your movement.    

“Shh, shh shh like that doll, just like that” The gun pushed deeper into you, coming to a stop at the hilt. He leaned back and took a look at your, your petrified expression, the gun in your pussy and cursed. “That’s it, doll, Treat it like a small dildo, c’mon no need to look so scared, you’ve handled bigger.” His hand let you go and you almost dropped the gun, but Toji caught it and pushed it back into your hand.

 “You drop it- you’ll shoot us both.” Toji growled, waited until you nodded before he removed his hand from the hilt. Your hand remained frozen, unmoving. Toji didn’t care. His fingers went straight back to your clit, rubbing quick circles on it until you arched your back and clenched, then lowered yourself, seeking release on the metal. 

“Ahh y-you’re a monster Toji.” You twisted your face away from him. Toji chuckled and dropped his head on your shoulder, biting at the exposed flesh. 

“ The worst one.” He agreed his fingers picked up speed, so did your hips. Your orgasm building, your pussy clenching around the gun, hand trembled. A little more, a little– “N-nnooah” you threw your head back; despite your protest, your pussy did the opposite, gushing around the gun. Gushing turned to squirting as Toji’s fingers kept going; his other hand dropped down to your hand and the gun and thrust it in and out of you.

 You screamed, and dug your nails into his forearm, the only thing that kept you upright. 

“Fucking nasty” Toji bit your earlobe until you listened. “ You think some random stranger can get you off like this? Match your freak, babydoll? Squirting on my loaded gun in your pussy.” Toji chuckled. “Will you start creaming if I take the safety off too?” 

You mewed, then heard the harrowing click you hadn’t realized was on. Knowing it was off, however, was a completely different story. Your eyes widened, pleasure replaced by panic. He was still jealous? Still not done?!

Fuckfuckfuck. 

“I get it, I am sorry Toji, Please, please forgive me!” you sobbed, your thighs shaking as much as your hand on his arm. 

He was gonna kill you. He was gonna fuck you then kill you. Humiliate you, then pull that fucking trigger straight in your pussy.

FuckingFuckFucktown.

You didn’t want to die; you weren’t ready to die. And you most certainly didn’t want him to pull the trigger inside you. “I’ll do anything just.. Just give me another chance. Please baby, To-bear” 

Toji hummed, his teeth left your skin and his head dropped on your shoulder with a heavy sigh. “Hmm you’re lucky I like you.” He whispered, waited, then twisted the gun a little inside you. 

“I love you, I love you too Toji!” you squealed. 

“ Good. Now then out of love here’s what we’re gonna do, doll” Toji pulled the gun out of your pussy, and stared at the slick dripping thing before he returned it to its holster on his hip. “We’re gonna walk back to m’car, take a trip, and you’ll show me just how sorry you are. And if this happens again-” 

“ It won’t, I promise!” you stared up at Toji with earnest eyes, ready to beg and plead you case as many times as it took for him to go from this to the less manic usual. 

Silence passed until he chuckled, took half a step back, and pulled you to his side. His arm around your shoulder and your face buried in his side, almost as if he tried to shield you from the corpse behind you. “That’s a good doll, don’ make me regret it, cuz if you do…” 

Toji didn’t need to finish that sentence. He didn’t need to. You knew that if you disappointed him again you and the left-behind body would have a lot in common..

— 

The last of the warm sun rays set and were replaced by barely-there moonlight before anything changed in the small behind-the-bar alley. The metal door to the significantly livelier bar creaked opened, and a pair of heel-clad feet stepped out and then shut the door behind them. 

The owner of the feet stood still for a moment, sighed, and then moved closer to the chilled body. As she drew closer, she raised her shoe and kicked the man hard on the fancy dress shoe.

“Oj how long are you gonna waste time laying in the middle of the shitty alley?” A female voice carried through, shortly followed by the light of a cigarette. She made a few more steps, came to a stop in front of her face, and stared down at the man with a bullet wound in his head. She took a deep drag of her cigarette before  she flickered some ash sight onto his chest “And what kind of cover name is ‘Tom’ anyway?” 

“Hey, don’t disrespect the dead, Shoko,” ‘Tom’ cracked an eye open with a lazy grin. He stretched his limbs as though he had just taken a long nap before he slowly sat up, each bone and muscle groaning in protest from laying on the hard pavement god knows how long. Reaching up, he wiped the blood and gunk off his face onto the back of his fancy suit sleeve “- And what’s wrong with ‘Tom’ anyway?” 

“ I’d respect you if you were actually dead. ‘Tom’ sounds like you’re over compensating for your lack of personality with a foreign name. ‘Toru would have worked just fine”, Shoko replied, ignoring his silent request to help pull him up. Satoru whined in response. “Now, let's go before someone actually calls the police on a ‘deadbody’. Last thing I need is to type up another death certificate for you-” 

“-Please do! Then I catch a break from the higher-ups-” 

Shoko kicked his leg, making sure to dive the heel into his thigh until he yelped and shut up. “-Shut it and lets go. Jesus, Toji is a horrid influence on your already awful personality.” Shoko grew tired of waiting for Satoru to pick himself off the ground and turned to leave, not waiting to see if he’d follow.

“ Aww, love you too Shoko, Owie, ow ow ow everything hurts.. huh-hey! Wait for me!” 

Author note: Well this is my attempt at two things at once, Dark dark content and Mystery. Well what do you think? Why was Satoru under cover (Tom?) and was Toji really 'just jealous'?

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[papervenom]

✩ chapter sixteen: the yule ball ✩

summary: your fourth year starts with the return of the triwizard tournament— and a relationship with cedric diggory that should feel steady, but doesn’t. when harry’s name gets pulled from the goblet, everything shifts. the trio starts to crack, and being with cedric only adds to the tension. you’re sure about how you feel , you love him. but someone else is pulling for your attention, and it’s getting harder to ignore. a slow-burn, character-driven take on goblet of fire, told through your perspective

chapter warnings: alcohol use, romantic tension, jealousy, fluff, yearning, and a little angst

word count: 8.0k

authors note: IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! guys… writing the yule ball has been something i’ve looked forward to ever since starting this series, and i really wanted to do it justice. that’s why it took me (literally) two fucking years to get it together. i ended up writing so much that i had to split it into 2 chapters soo... next chapter is ready and will be posted soon!! it does contain smut (another reason this one took me forever, i wanted the payoff to really feel worth the long, slow burn this story has been) and i genuinely hope i captured all the emotions right. this part of the series is so special to me and i can’t wait to share it with u!

i also just wanna say thank you to everyone who’s been reading, liking, reblogging, or even silently lurking, it all means the world to me. but a special shoutout to @cherrycolacigs, @iwannabeapinkaesthetic , @milkpeanuts476, and @snowvies for ur sweet words. i was genuinely so giddy and warm reading ur messages and just so so grateful. your kindness reminded me exactly why i love sharing this story. truly, thank you <3

finally, i made a yule ball playlist because i got carried away (as usual) and wanted you to be able to live this chapter out with me. thank you again for being here. i can’t even explain how much it means to me. hope you love the chapter. i love you. i love you. i love you. 💋 – k

INSATIABLE MASTERLIST⋆˙⟡

December 17th, 1994

The long-awaited day of the Yule Ball finally came, and to distract myself from the incessant nerves coursing through my body, I accepted the twins' invitation to go out onto the castle grounds that afternoon to kill some time.

The snow had been untouched except for the deep channels made by the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students on their way to and from the castle. 

Harry and the Weasley siblings had been partaking in a snowball fight, which Hermione and I chose to watch rather than join in when we saw just how violently they were lunging the snowballs at each other.

Instead, we were going over the steps for the opening dance that we had been practicing with our Triwizard Champion dates. 

Hermione and I clumsily twirled around in the snow as we clutched onto each other, giggling as our feet sank into the thick, ice-cloth— making us nearly topple over.

It was when the five o'clock bell chimed across the castle that Ginny came to take us upstairs so we could start getting ready for the ball.

"What, you need three bloody hours!?" asked Ron, looking at with disbelief and paying for his lapse in concentration when a giant snowball, thrown by George, hit him hard on the side of the head.

"Oi, (Y/N). You gonna be putting on that Victoria Secret tonight, eh?" Fred called out after I had ignored Ron and turned to walk up towards the castle. 

When I processed what the twin had said, I whirled around in shock.

"Harry!" I immediately bellowed at my friend for telling the twins about the shopping I did over the summer. This made the identical brothers laugh as I dove down to grab a handful of snow, which I proceeded to chuck at Harry, who dodged it swiftly.

"Whose secret?" I heard Ron ask cluelessly, making the boys cackle even louder, but I just waved them off with burning cheeks as the girls and I left, going up the stone steps and into the castle.

"What was Fred on about?" Ginny asked curiously, making me hide my face in my hands as Hermione's simper grew wider on her face.

"Back in America, Harry and I went to the mall to do some shopping, and I visited this Muggle store called 'Victoria's Secret' to buy some...stuff," I explained vaguely, my face feeling like it was on fire against my palms.

"What kind of stuff?" Ginny continued to inquire suspiciously.

"Like... sexy underwear," I replied meekly, breaking into a grin as Ginny's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh, Gods— the absolute cheek of that tosser!" Ginny exclaimed, referring to her brother's crass comment and sounding much like her mother.

"I wouldn't expect anything less of him." I sighed, "If anything, I'm annoyed with Harry for telling them. Gossipy little twerp." I muttered before announcing the password to the Fat Lady and yanking her portrait wide open— rapidly bounding up towards our dorm rooms to get everything together.

Once in the room, the three of us sprawled out our ball gowns and accessories over the plush mattresses of the four-poster beds and took turns showering before we had to help each other with hair and makeup. 

Embarrassingly, I was planning on wearing the satin ivory set I had bought at Victoria's Secret tonight. 

Especially after Cedric made it so apparent that we would spend the night together.

I hadn't told anyone about this despite Fred's teasing earlier. It felt good to have it be a private matter and not reduced to gossip.

So I quickly put it on and admired how sensually it adorned my body, accentuating my curves alluringly as the delicate fabric clung to me. 

I gawked at myself in the bathroom mirror, never having felt sexier in my life, before shrugging on my bathrobe quickly before anybody walked in on me and saw me in lingerie— which would've definitely raised suspicion.

When I rejoined my friends in the dorm room, I found Hermione lying on her bed as Ginny brushed soft-pink, shimmery eyeshadow on her eyelids.

"So you two haven't kissed yet?" murmured Ginny lowly as she rummaged through her makeup bag for blush. 

"Of course, we haven't! We've barely exchanged a few words with each other. There's a language barrier, so communicating takes us a while. Last night, we spoke about his Quidditch and about books we enjoy... but that was it, really..." 

"Would you kiss him tonight?" I asked, looking at my timid friend through our vanity mirror as I towel-dried my hair.

"Oh, I don't know... If it feels right," Hermione admitted softly, her voice quivering. Ginny and I grinned at each other as we swooned over how adorable Hermione was.

As the minutes passed, other voices could be heard in the tower, and the Gryffindor girls started pouring inside their dorm rooms and bathrooms to prepare for the ball.

I overheard arguments beginning to transpire as my housemates bickered over how long they were waiting for each other to get out of the shower, and I felt grateful that we started getting ready as early as we did.

Before I knew it, dusk fell and I was standing at the top of the girls' staircase— wearing my perfectly fitted ball gown complimented by the sparkly earrings and luxurious, golden chandelier necklace I had purchased at Gladrags.

I felt unreasonably nervous as I shifted my weight on my stilettos, waiting for Ginny and Hermione to put the finishing touches on their looks.

It didn't help that many of the girls would ogle as they passed by me to get downstairs to meet their dates. 

It made me strangely self-conscious, even though I knew I looked impeccable. 

Ginny styled my hair perfectly, with loose curls that cascaded over my shoulders. A plaited braid tied the hair away from the front of my face, which presented the smokey, seductive makeup look she did on me. The look consisted of hues of brown and sheer golden eye shadow that made my eyes look sultry and hypnotizing. She then paired the elegant look with dark rose lipstick— the same shade as my dress.

There wasn't a hair out of place to me. If anything, I felt slightly overdressed than the other girls, but I decided not to overthink it because I knew Cedric would see me and think I was the most gorgeous thing he ever laid eyes on, and that's all that mattered to me.

"Oh, (Y/N)! Look at you!" Hermione cried softly, and I turned around to find my beautiful friend clutching her face in awe as she admired me. 

There is something so bizarre about seeing your friends dressed stylishly in a school setting. 

And seeing Hermione in the dress we picked out at Gladrags, only this time with her tidied curls and made-up face, nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"You look so pretty, 'Mione!" I cooed, immediately pulling her into an embrace, which she returned enthusiastically by squeezing me tightly.

Ginny appeared behind her, seeming proud of the looks she did on us. Luckily, she had the time to work her magic on herself. She styled her hair straight but wrapped two braids around her head like a crown. She kept her makeup simple, just as she did with Hermione, with a slight tint of peachy-pink lipstick and blush.

"Don't go spoiling my hard work, now," Ginny scolded us playfully as we turned to hug her. We all giggled, buzzing with excitement as we finally went downstairs to join the others.

The Common Room looked strange when it was full of people wearing a variety of colors instead of the usual masses of black school robes. 

All the Gryffindors were slowly exiting the tower to head to the Great Hall.

As expected, the boys were already gathered by the fireplace, waiting on us.

Each of them looked undeniably handsome.

Harry had on the dark green robes that Mrs.Weasley purchased for him over the summer, which indeed brought out the color of his eyes. I was impressed to see that he seemed to have actually combed his hair for the occasion— it looked less tousled than usual.

Fred and George were wearing what were clearly second-hand dress robes draped over their matching brown vests. Instead of the traditional bowtie, each twin sported a dark-colored, thick corduroy ribbon, which suited them well.

Neville, Dean, and Seamus wore black dress robes with a black silk vest underneath. Their white dress shirts contrasted with their bowties' dark colors, and each looked nicely groomed and put together. 

And then there was Ron. 

There was no getting around the fact that his robes looked more like a dress than anything else. 

In a desperate attempt to save face, it seemed like he decided to use a Severing Charm on the ruff and cuffs, and it worked reasonably well because at least his dress robes were now mostly lace-free. However, he hadn't done an impeccable job because the edges still looked depressingly frayed. 

We got a good look at the boys before they even laid eyes on us. I watched as Ron nervously pulled stray threads out of his cuffs, his blue eyes scanning the room as he stood lankily beside Harry.

"Merlin, have mercy on us..." Fred murmured, being the first one to notice us. He had his tongue in cheek, grasping onto his typical humorous undertone, but the indiscretion in his gaze was serious as his eyes trailed up my figure.

I rolled my eyes, turning away from him slightly in embarrassment as I suddenly felt rather exposed in the expensive, crimson-red gown's low-cut neckline and skin-tight material.

"You ready?" I asked Harry, who was wiping the lens of his circular eyeglasses on his dress shirt.

"Er, not really..." he mumbled shyly, putting his glasses back on and shrugging when I frowned, "I'm just not looking forward to that opening dance."

"I feel bad for you if you're going to let a stupid opening dance ruin your night. You're going with Cho Chang! What could you possibly complain about?" 

Harry smiled coyly, nodding in silent agreement as a scarlet tint blushed his priorly pale cheeks. 

Next to him, Ron was admiring me with parted lips and adoring dopey eyes. His hands were buried deep in his black dress pants pockets, and the ruffles on the lapels of his antiquated dress robes rose and fell quickly as his breathing became heavy.

Behind him, Parvati was waiting at the foot of the stairs, seeming uncomfortable as she watched Ron gawk at me. She looked very pretty, in robes of vibrant pink, with long, dark hair braided with gold and shimmering bracelets glimmering at her wrists. 

"Parvati, you look amazing," I complimented her earnestly. 

She smiled at me bashfully, and Ron seemed to wake from his trance as he finally noticed his date waiting for him. 

He sauntered over to her awkwardly, giving her a tight smile.

Lavender, Angelina, Ginny, Katie, and Alicia paired off with their boys, and we all set off towards the Entrance Hall, where Cho, Viktor, and Cedric were waiting on Harry, Hermione, and me.

Walking on the castle's marble floors with heels on was something so foreign that I appreciated Harry's chivalry for offering his arms for Hermione and me to cling onto. 

Ron had tried to be the one to help— having discourteously let go of Parvati to get to me, but Harry was closer, and it only made everything more uncomfortable between Ron and his date. 

When we rounded the corner to walk down the stairs towards the Entrance Hall, we saw just how packed it was with students, all milling around waiting for eight o'clock to strike, which was when the doors to the Great Hall would be thrown open. 

The people who were meeting partners from different Houses were seen edging through the flock, trying to find one another.

I scanned the room for Cedric, and when I finally spotted him pushing through the crowd to get to me, I let go of Harry and started walking down the staircase hastily—holding onto the barricade as my heart thumped harder in my chest with every eager step. 

Soon, Cedric was within arm's reach, and he surprised me by wrapping his hands around my waist. He then proceeded to pick me up and spin me around instantly. 

I laughed giddily— clutching onto his shoulders tightly as the hem of my gown and his dress robes whirled around us.

We had caught the room's attention by the moment he put me back down, but we remained wrapped in each other's arms.

Cedric looked strikingly handsome— his black dress robes were made of a refined, silky material that matched his bowtie. His look was sophisticated and resembled a classic tuxedo.

"I'm the luckiest guy here," Cedric murmured, his grey eyes soaking me up as his hands ran up and down my sides lovingly.

"And I'm the luckiest girl, you look soo good," I gushed, reaching up to cup his face in my hand.

Beside us, Harry and Cho had approached each other timidly.

"You— er— look nice," I heard Harry say stiffly.

"Thanks," Cho replied distractedly, her covetous gaze on Cedric and me before turning to Harry with a polite smile. 

It was then that a group of Slytherins emerged from their dungeon, with Draco Malfoy leading in the front. 

He wore black velvet dress robes with a high collar, making him look like a vicar. His dress shirt and bowtie were all white, washing him out and making him look paler than usual. 

Clutching onto his arm was Pansy Parkinson, wearing the same emerald dress I had tried on at Gladrags, and behind them were Crabbe and Goyle, both wearing green and resembling moss-colored boulders. Neither of them seemed to have managed to find a partner, which wasn't astonishing in the slightest.

Blaise and Theodore strolled into the room coolly soon after. 

They looked attractive in their tailored robes, but I still disliked the arrogance in their demeanor as they boredly glanced around the room and completely ignored their dates, who were both Slytherin girls whose names I didn't know.

"Look at that," Cedric brought my attention to the window next to us that overlooked the lawn right in front of the castle. 

It had been transformed into a sort of grotto full of fairy lights— meaning hundreds of actual living fairies were sitting in the rosebushes that had been conjured there and fluttering over the statues of what seemed to be Father Christmas and his reindeer.

"That's gorgeous," I sighed, resting my head on Cedric's shoulder. He hummed in agreement, pressing his lips sweetly to the top of my head. 

"Champions over here, please!" Professor McGonagall called us over towards the big oak doors of the Great Hall, and Cedric intertwined our fingers and led us to meet the others.

When we arrived, Fleur Delacour was already standing next to Professor McGonagall, looking marvelous in silver-gray satin robes. He was accompanied by Roger Davies, who looked flustered—he could not believe his good fortune of being Fleur's date.

"Oh, mon Dieu! (Y/N), you look absolutee divine!" Fleur gasped, pressing a hand on her chest delicately.

"Thank you, Fleur. You look great!" I grinned appreciatively.

Roger and Cedric shook hands politely while Cho, Harry, Viktor, and Hermione approached next.

Hermione was smiling rather nervously beside Krum, who was brooding, as usual. On occasion, Viktor would peer over at Hermione, and his features would soften—which I thought was very cute, and I made a mental note to tell her about it later.

With a grandiose wave of Professor McGonagall's wand, the large wooden doors of The Great Hall opened, but she had us wait until all of the other students entered before giving us any further instructions. 

Viktor's fan club from the library stalked past us, throwing Hermione looks of most profound loathing. 

Pansy Parkinson gaped at me as she walked by with Draco, who faltered in his step as his icy eyes seized me up. 

Our Gryffindor friends entered the Great Hall next. Ron slouched beside Parvati glumly. Neville enthusiastically spoke to Ginny while she listened intently to whatever he was saying, and the twins winked at us as they passed—their arms draped around their dates while wearing shit-eating grins. 

"Now, you are all to enter the Great Hall in procession right after the last of the students have taken their seats, and Professor Dumbledore has given his introduction. Miss Delacour, you and Mr. Davies will take the lead. Miss Granger and Mr. Krum, you will be next..." Professor McGonagall spoke as she moved us around in a single file line. Cedric and I were to enter right behind Hermione and Krum while Harry and Cho followed right after us. 

We waited for Professor Dumbledore's muffled voice to beckon us in, and at Professor McGonagall's signal— we were all soon stepping into the Great Hall, where everyone was on their feet, cheering boisterously and clapping for us. 

I knew that the cheers were directed towards the Champions, but there was an exhilaration that came with the honor of having an entire room praise you. 

While glancing around the room, I was greeted with numerous smiling faces, in addition to the typical entranced looks I was so used to getting from boys.

Around us, the walls of the Hall had all been covered in sparkling silver frost, with hundreds of garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the starry black ceiling. 

The House tables had all vanished, and instead, there were about a hundred smaller, candle-lit ones, each seating about a dozen students.

Professor McGonagall escorted us past all these tables and onto the bright dance floor, where we were to perform the dreaded opening dance.

We took our positions with Cedric's right hand on my waist and the other raised and clutching onto mine.

I steadied myself by grasping onto his shoulder as I anxiously scanned the room. 

It was then that I became very aware of how sweaty my hand was against Cedric's and even more aware of everybody's eyes on us.

It had been easy to downplay the dance earlier when Harry was fretting about it, but now that the moment had arrived— I understood his apprehension. 

"Hey. I'm right here, darling. I've got you." Cedric reassured soothingly, sensing my nerves and squeezing my hand tightly in his.

When my eyes met his, I instantly felt at ease— the perturbation vanishing into thin air as if his consolation were my antidote. 

It was miraculous how he could assuage me with a mere look and a few words.

I nodded firmly, taking in a deep breath just as Professor Flitwick tapped his baton on his stand to begin directing the small ensemble that was the Hogwarts orchestra.

Soon, the gentle first notes of Tchaikovsky's 'The Nutcracker, Op. 71 started to play, and we initiated the choreography steps just as we had rehearsed them many times before.

Cedric led the dance as we slowly revolved on the spot to the romantic, tender waltz—the sound of flutes and cymbals bouncing off the walls as we held on to each other's eyes. His lips parted, his pupils blown wide as he gazed down at me.

Nothing else mattered to me anymore. 

The attention did not encompass us or the rest of the dance routine—it came to us instinctively, as if our bodies were in sync and we were improvising the dance on the spot. 

All I knew was that this precise moment was paradise, and I wanted to remember every intricate detail.

The way my hand fit in his.

The familiar smell of his own personal scent tinged with his favorite cologne.

The warmth that filled his eyes whenever he'd look at me.

Cedric's beauty was so unparalleled it was almost devastating. 

I let him overpower all my senses to keep this memory for my lifetime. 

The waltz's tempo picked up to a dramatic flourish, and with every crescendo of the violins— Cedric would spin me around in delicate pirouettes like a ballet dancer in a music box. 

I barely caught a glimpse of Professor Flitwick's baton swishing faster as the music built up, the room spinning past me quicker and quicker with every elegant turn I made. 

And then the music exploded to the waltzes' climax. Cedric raised me up, his hands wrapped around my waist as he lifted me into the air and twirled me on the spot— eliciting a gasp from the audience at the synchronization of the Champions' dance number.

I gripped Cedric's shoulders for leverage, my heart beating furiously as I watched his chest heave and his grey eyes praise me as if I had crafted the stars above us myself.

He brought me down slowly, pulling me closer to him and taking my hand once more as we neared the end of our dance— the growing passion between us becoming more absorbing by the second. 

Despite the hundreds of people surrounding us, I felt alone in this room with him. 

My heart kept swelling in my chest, and it didn't take long before I realized I was utterly in love with Cedric Diggory. 

And my love for him consumed me.

Just as the music reached its' last few soft, romantic notes— Cedric leaned down to rest his forehead against my own, and I felt his sweet, warm breath on my face. 

I was so overwhelmed at that moment that I could've shed tears because I wanted it to last forever.

The only thing that could've made it any more perfect would be reaching up to kiss Cedric's saccharine lips, but I had caught sight of Professor Dumbledore from the corner of my eye— making me realize where we were, so I took my head out of the clouds and decided against it.

Cedric was evidently thinking the same thing but didn't seem to care about whose presence we were in because as soon as the waltz had ended, he leaned down, and our lips met briefly.

It was just a tiny peck, but it was enough to trigger the constant primal flight reaction he gave me. It felt like a massive inundation of adrenaline that swept through me like a drug and made me feel profoundly alive.

The Great Hall broke into cheers of admiration, pulling me back to the present. A rupture of applause had us Triwizard couples bowing and curtsying before we turned towards the top table where we were to sit for supper.

"Our Triwizard Champions, everybody!" Professor Dumbledore exclaimed, and the cheers got increasingly louder.

Dumbledore beamed happily at us as we began taking our seats— Headmaster Karkaroff and Madame Maxine sitting on either side of him.

I was surprised to see Karkaroff wear an expression of remarkable interest as he watched Cedric and I draw nearer. 

Madame Maxime, who had changed her usual uniform of black satin for a flowing lavender silk gown, applauded us politely and immediately praised Fleur in exuberant French as she sat beside her Headmistress.

When Cedric and I sat down in front of our glittering golden plates, no food was served, but small menus were placed in front of each of us. 

We picked them up with uncertainty and looked around for someone to take our orders, but there were no waiters. 

Professor Dumbledore, however, looked carefully down at his own menu and then said very clearly to his plate, "Pork chops!"

And just like that, pork chops appeared. 

Getting the idea, the rest of the table began placing their orders to their plates, too. 

"Hm... roast beef?" Cedric asked politely, leaning forward and speaking into his plate, which, in a blink, was full of the most exquisite serving of roast beef I've ever seen. 

"Would you look at that, angel? Roast beef," Cedric murmured delightedly.

"I can see that," I spoke through giggles, watching him in fascination as he raised his goblet, mulling over his first drink of the night handsomely.

The flickering candlelight only defined his already chiseled features— accentuating his high cheekbones and sharp jawline. 

He looked as if he were sculpted by angels.

"Red wine, please," he finally decided, and the cup was soon filled with the maroon liquid.

"Go on, love. Speak to your dinnerware," Cedric urged humor in his tone over how bizarre the sentence he had spoken sounded. 

Humming inquisitively, I scanned the menu and chose the creamy rigatoni pasta with sausage and sun-dried tomatoes.

I hesitantly conjured it up, and when it popped up on my plate, I couldn't help but gasp in pure fascination— making Cedric chuckle giddily beside me.

"I fucking love magic," I commended as I picked up my utensils to eat.

To my right, Harry and Cho shared an uncomfortable silence as they ate their dinner.

Occasionally, Harry would peer over at Cho and offer her a meek smile, but he'd immediately look away— red splotches forming on his cheeks.

"Wonder how Hermione feels about this complicated method of dining. Surely it's plenty of extra work for the House Elves?" Harry muttered to me when he noticed me looking— relieved to converse with somebody to distract himself from the stiff tension he was having with his date.

We turned to look at Hermione, half expecting her to be defiant towards her supper, but for once, she didn't seem to be thinking about S.P.E.W. 

Instead, she was in deep conversation with Viktor Krum and hardly noticed what she was eating.

Not wanting to isolate Cedric from our conversation, I nudged him gently and jutted my chin towards Hermione and Krum while we fell silent to overhear their conversation.

"Veil, ve have a castle also, not as big as this, nor as comfortable, I am thinking," Krum was telling Hermione rather enthusiastically, "Ve have just four floors, and the fires are lit only for magical purposes. But ve have grounds larger even than these— though in vinter, ve have very little daylight, so ve are not enjoying them, Hermy-own."

"Her-my-oh-nee," she pronunciated very slowly and clearly. 

"Herm-own-ninny," Viktor replied ploddingly.

"Close enough," Hermione said with a shrug, catching our eyes and grinning. 

"No, she doesn't seem to mind about S.P.E.W right now at all," I teased— making Cedric and Harry laugh brightly as they nodded in agreement.

"Spew? Sorry?" a shrill voice asked. I realized that Cho was the one inquiring, with her eyebrows pulled together in disdain.

"Oh, er—" Harry began blundering, almost as if he had forgotten she was there to begin with. "It stands for Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. Hermione formed like an... alliance in favor of the Hogwarts House-Elves." 

"That sounds pointless," Cho stated, scoffing a tiny laugh. "I mean, that's what they're there for, right? To work? They like it."

Although I didn't have a fiery passion in my heart for S.P.E.W like Hermione did, I felt a compelling urge to defend our little association once hearing Cho ridicule Hermione's beliefs regarding the House Elves.

Hermione had put hard work into S.P.E.W, and I didn't think Cho had any right to mock it, despite any personal opinion she might've had.

Noticing my subtle vexation, Cedric cleared his throat uncomfortably before speaking up.

"Well... we're all members of S.P.E.W, Cho... We've got pins and everything," he explained, giving her an amiable grin that momentarily made me forget what we were even talking about.

"Oh! Well, that's... wicked fun! I was only joking, by the way... I'd love to join!" Cho deferred, just as captivated by Cedric as I was— but he simply gave her a tight smile, much like Ron did when approaching Parvati earlier, and let the conversation drop. 

The rest of our dinner went by wonderfully.

Professor Flitwick continued conducting the Hogwarts Orchestra, who now performed string quartet instrumentals of known love songs.

Eventually, everyone in the Great Hall had finished their meal, so when the time came to enjoy dessert— the same previous method was to be performed with the brand new menu that gave us our sugary options.

I ordered a cheesecake, and Cedric ordered a chocolate caramel tart—and we enjoyed them as he told me about how the Hufflepuff Quidditch team was planning on making the necessary arrangements to organize a friendly match with the other House teams since the games were canceled this year because of the Tournament.

He had taken a quick bite of his tart and chewed intently before continuing his explanation of the Quidditch preparations when I interrupted him by giggling endearingly because he had a tiny bit of caramel peeking from the corner of his lip.

"What? Do I have food on my face?" Cedric asked, his expression alarmed as he started wiping at the opposite side of his mouth from where the caramel was.

"You do, actually," I cooed and reached out to swipe the candy off with my thumb.

Cedric then took advantage of the proximity of my thumb to pop it into his mouth, sucking it gently, which sent me into a laughing fit as I tried to pull away.

"You looked sweeter than the tart," Cedric explained cheekily once I got my thumb back and leaned forward to plant a big kiss on my cheek. 

Meanwhile, Fleur was criticizing the Hogwarts decorations to Roger Davies a few seats down.

"Zis is nothing," she said dismissively, looking around at the sparkling walls of the Great Hall. "At ze Palace of Beauxbatons, we 'ave ice sculptures all around ze dining chamber at Chreestmas. Zey do not melt, of course... zey are like 'uge statues of diamond, glittering around ze place. And ze food is seemply superb. And we 'ave choirs of wood nymphs, 'oo serenade us as we eat. We 'ave none of zis ugly armor in ze 'alls, and eef a poltergeist ever entaired into Beauxbatons, 'e would be expelled like zat." she stated as she slapped her hand onto the table impatiently.

Roger Davies was watching her talk with an idiotic look on his face, and he kept missing his mouth with his fork. 

I had the impression that Roger was too busy gaping at Fleur to take in a single word she was saying.

"Absolutely right," he said quickly, slapping his own hand down on the table in imitation of Fleur. "Like that. Yeah."

I watched this play out as I told Cedric about my education before Hogwarts.

Ced watched me with grave interest— clinging onto my every word and seemingly comprehending all of it, unlike Roger.

Frankly, I felt alleviated because even though Veela blood coursed through mine and Fleur's veins— I was fortunate enough to find a guy whose interests transcended past my looks.

I felt terrible for Fleur, but she seemed pretty accustomed to it.

"Doesn't America have Ivermory, though? Why didn't you enroll there?" Cedric asked curiously.

"I wanted to— I did. When I discovered it was the next best thing after Hogwarts, I begged my mom to let me study there. But Ivermory was too expensive for us... and a bit elitist since America is so massive compared to the United Kingdom. They didn't allow just anyone in. So, instead, I was homeschooled to complete my Muggle education — which is a requirement by law in the states. Simultaneously, I would meet with a wizard who would teach me to repress my magic. I had just finished all of my studies when Dumbledore showed up to get me to study here," 

"And I thank my lucky stars every day," Cedric murmured, his eyes peering down at me adoringly as he wrapped an arm around me to pull me closer— gently kissing my exposed shoulder. 

Heat rushed onto my cheeks at the affection, as I was still getting acclimated to Cedric's comfort with displaying public affection.

When all the food had been consumed, Professor Dumbledore stood up and asked the students who weren't sitting at the Top Table to do the same. 

Then, with a swish of his wand, most of the smaller tables zoomed back against the walls— leaving a few scattered around the Great Hall in order for more of the floor to be cleared for dancing. 

The only table that remained intact was our table, where the Champions, their dates, their Headmasters, and the rest of the Hogwarts staff sat.

There was a brief silence, during which all that could be heard was the curious chattering of the students as they stood awkwardly against the wall. Soon, The Weird Sisters trooped up onto the stage to wildly enthusiastic applause. 

They were all extremely hairy and dressed in black robes that had been artfully ripped and torn. 

I watched with grave interest as the band picked up their instruments and began playing their first song of the night, which sounded a lot like Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and the Shondells.

"Wanna dance?" Cedric grinned broadly, and since I wanted to make the most of our night— I instantly agreed.

All of the Champions and their dates got onto the dance floor, whether of their own volition, like Cedric and me, or because McGonagall pressured them to do so—which I felt was Harry's case.

Once again, we were the only four couples on the dance floor, which would've made me nervous if I hadn't been eased by the sweet peach wine I drank earlier with my dinner.

I understood the appeal of The Weird Sisters, a rock band with influential undertones reminiscent of Pulp and Radiohead. 

Soon, many other students had mustered up the courage to get onto the dance floor, so the Champions were no longer the center of attention. 

Ginny and Neville were dancing nearby while the Weird Sisters performed a cover of the French song 'Aline,' and I could see Ginny frequently wincing as Neville accidentally trodded on her feet.

Dumbledore was waltzing with Madame Maxime and was so dwarfed by her that the top of his pointed hat barely tickled her chin. However, I was impressed by how gracefully she moved for a woman so large.

Soon, the band's ballad turned into a punky, upbeat song titled 'Do the Hippogriff,' which caused a riot among the students. 

"Alright, Hogwarts! Are you ready for some real music?" the lead singer yelled into the mic, eliciting screams from the entire crowd at his feet. 

"C'mon, I want to see your hands in the air! This is our last song of the night before your Professors resort to playing you their show tunes!" the singer continued, now drawing boos from the students.

Then, the song's fast tempo was initiated, and I watched in awe as my peers went crazy.

Fred and Angelina were dancing so exuberantly that people around them were backing away in fear of injury.

Beside them, George and Katie were head-banging so vigorously and flapping their arms like Hippogriff wings.

But Cedric, who had let loose and started jumping quite out of rhythm to the music, his chestnut locks flying unruly, caught me off-guard.

"What?" he asked breathlessly as he watched me suppress my laughter as I held onto his hand.

"I finally found something you're not good at!" I exclaimed over the loud music— my amusement growing when Cedric's jaw dropped in mock offense.

"How could you say that with those two on the dancefloor? Huh?" Cedric asked, his eyes pointing towards the Weasley twins, who were now break-dancing pretty horribly while Angelina and Katie cheered them on.

"You do have a point... Forgive me?"

Cedric sucked in air through his teeth, and his eyebrows knitted together— as if he were debating whether to forgive me or not.

"I don't know if I can," he joked, the corner of his lips twisting up to a smirk as he wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm begging you to reconsider. I take back what I said— you're allowed to dance as foolishly as you'd like," I pouted, offering him the biggest puppy eyes I could muster.

Cedric broke into a big, goofy smile as he peered down at me.

"Fine, but only if you dance just as foolishly with me," 

"Deal," I agreed as I stuck my hand out, which he shook firmly as if we had just made a business transaction, "but I am going to need a drink first."

"Coming right up," Cedric chimed, his hands nestling my face as he leaned to kiss me leisurely. His warm lips glided over mine for a few passing seconds before he left me flustered and faint.

I stepped down from the platformed dance floor, taking fixed breaths to steady my erratic heart.

As I looked around the Great Hall, I saw many people sitting down, which made me pity them for all the fun they were missing out on.

Far off in a corner, Draco Malfoy and his friends watched everyone else snidely— as if they were far too prestigious to even consider dancing.

Ron was also sitting down with Parvati. She was speaking to him, but Ron wasn't paying attention to whatever she was saying because he was too busy glaring at me, which took me aback.

When the Weird Sisters had finished their set— everybody cheered them on and begged for an encore, but they still exited the stage despite the students' protests. 

In turn, Professor Flitwick marched up the stage holding a vinyl record, seeming to have renounced the title of band conductor for the night and been assigned the role of DJ.

We all watched uncertainly as he put the record on, unsure of his music selection, but when 'Ballroom Blitz' by Sweet started playing, everyone cheered with approval and started dancing again.

"Let's sit down, shall we?" I overheard Harry say to Cho, who was holding onto his hand and attempting to get him to stay on the dance floor.

"Oh, but— this is a really good one!" she tried to persuade him.

"Er, no, I don't like it," Harry lied. I knew he did because we listened to it a lot over the summer.

With lucky timing, a friend of Cho's invited her to dance— if you could even call it that since the student body was now tipsy and energetic as they aimlessly bounced around the dance floor. One of the Weasley twins even started to stage dive.

Wanting to join in on the fun, Cho gave Harry a little apologetic smile, leaving him staring hopelessly after her and then glumly walking back towards the table where Ron and Parvati were sitting.

I strode over to them just as Harry was opening a bottle of Butterbeer— taking a seat right next to him.

"What is wrong with you?" I hissed as Harry was downing his drink.

"Wha—?" he asked, puzzled with a mouthful of beer.

"You've been drooling over Cho Chang since last year, and now you've got her! Why aren't you conversing with her and showing her a good time? After all the trouble you went through to muster up the courage to get her to go with you, you're gonna ignore her now? Seriously!?"

"I don't have her; she's been staring at you and Cedric all night," Harry snapped back, his green eyes accusingly squinting at me.

I fell silent because I noticed it, too, but when I realized that I had no fault in this, I continued to argue with him in my defense.

"So? Does that mean you must spend the entire night in awkward silence and belligerent dancing? You're a great guy, Harry. Show her that! She is just as lucky to have you as her date as you are to have her." 

Harry didn't retort but simply grumbled into his drink, and I knew the conversation would end there.

Besides him, Ron was furiously staring off into space as Parvati sat beside him with her arms and legs crossed— one foot jiggling in rhythm with the music. 

Now and then, she'd throw a disgruntled look at Ron, who was completely disregarding her.

I reached over to pinch Ron in the arm and decided it was his turn to get a scolding.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Ron exclaimed, rubbing the spot where I had pinched him.

"And you? What's your deal, then?" I confronted him, raising an eyebrow.

He stared at me sternly, eyebrows knit together as his blue eyes roamed my face. I responded by tilting my head towards Parvati, who was gazing longingly at the dancefloor.

"Well, that's just none of your business," he muttered before turning away from me defiantly.

I rolled my eyes just as Hermione joined us— her face flaming red and sweaty as she fanned herself with her hands.

"It's so hot in here, isn't it? Viktor's gone to go and get some drinks. Would you care to join us?" 

Ron gave her a withering look. 

"Viktor?" he asked. 

"Yes?" Hermione replied, her voice raising in surprise. 

"Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"

Hermione gave him a look of pure confusion— her eyes flickering over to Harry and me as if to confirm if Ron was being serious or not.

"What's up with you?" she questioned when she noticed me glowering at him because of his sour mood.

"How could you not tell me?" snapped Ron scathingly, "he's my favorite Quidditch player, and you didn't tell me! I thought we were friends!" 

Now, I was just as bewildered as Hermione. We both looked at Harry for answers, but he simply shrugged.

"Ron, what— ?" I scoffed.

"She could've at least told me! But instead, we had to find out the day of the ball. It's senseless!" spat Ron. 

Hermione was lost for words, gaping her mouth open and shut like a fish out of water as she struggled with what to say.

"I'm sorry..." she said after a moment, her voice quivering as she was clearly attempting to control her anger. "What would make it better, Ron? An autograph? Maybe I'll have him sign that model of him up in your dormitory?"

"Shut up," Ron mumbled, choosing to ignore Hermione's ridicule.

"You need to control yourself, Ronald," she warned as she jabbed a finger at him. Stop projecting your anger toward your friends and figure out what you're really upset about." Hermione said this, glancing at me briefly before storming off across the room and disappearing into the crowd.

The air was tense as we were left stunned and silent.

Hermione made it clear that Ron was lashing out at everyone because he was upset about something else, and it was pretty obvious what he was irritated about.

I mean, he had been shooting daggers with his eyes at Cedric and me the entire night.

Ron peered at me sheepishly, but I broke eye contact, not wanting to bring attention to Ron's feelings toward me tonight.

All I wanted was to get back to enjoying my evening with Cedric.

"Are you going to ask me to dance at all?" Parvati asked Ron, having gotten fed up with our drama.

"No," replied Ron flatly, his rude attitude returning.

"Fine," seethed Parvati, and she got up to join her sister, who was in the company of an entire crew of Durmstrang boys who had no dates and were eager to dance.

"I'm going to go find Ced," I informed Harry and rose to my feet.

"Alright," he replied boredly.

"You should go find Cho," I advised him, and this time, he seemed more susceptible to my suggestion because he nodded and scanned the room for her.

It seemed like Ron's loss of his date, warranted by his bad temper, awoke something in Harry, who had a lot more to lose if his crush got bored of him and found someone else.

It wasn't long after that I had seen Harry approaching Cho more confidently— the both of them falling into a dance that seemed more cosy than the ones they shared before.

"Vare is Herm-own-ninny?" asked someone behind me, pulling me away from my thoughts.

Viktor Krum stood grimly, clutching two cold Butterbeers in his hands.

"I was just with her— I think she went to the top table to look for you. Have you seen Cedric?" I asked, eyeing the drinks and wondering if they'd bumped into each other.

"No. Veil, if you see her, tell her I haff drinks," Krum said and slouched off.

I glanced at the top table, which was now empty. Professor Dumbledore was dancing with Professor Sprout, Ludo Bagman with Professor McGonagall, and Madame Maxime with Hagrid—the gigantic pair cutting a wide path around the dance floor as they waltzed through the students.

I continued to weave through dozens of people in search of Cedric, who was nowhere to be found.

I thought he'd be at the bar, but when I got there, I only saw a House Elf frantically serving drinks to a nagging group of students.

I grabbed a flute of champagne that looked unclaimed for and set off to continue searching for my missing date when I heard a voice I, unfortunately, knew too well directed towards me. 

"You look beautiful tonight," 

I sighed privately before turning on my heel to look at Draco, who was languidly leaning against the bar with what seemed to be a whiskey in hand.

"Thank you," I replied dully, meaning to walk away just then but staying instead for a reason unknown to me. 

"You look like a vicar," I added, taking a sip from my champagne.

Draco let out a genuine laugh. 

One that startled me because the last time I'd seen him laugh like this was the night at the Courtyard the year prior.

I watched him with vivacity as he grinned with teeth, shaking his head at my joke.

"Well, that's not a terrible thing," was all he said after his laugh.

"Suppose not," I responded dryly.

"No, but really, (Y/N)... You look gorgeous. So gorgeous that if you were my date, I wouldn't dream of losing sight of you. I don't think I'd be able to look away." 

I stood there stiffly, trying to ignore the tiny hairs at the back of my neck that were rising as his eyes drank me up.

"Um, thanks..." was all I could say, finishing the last of the champagne and hoping its effects would influence me soon.

He was going to say something else when Headmaster Karkaroff joined us.

"Mr. Malfoy," he greeted Draco leerily. I was surprised to see how Draco tensed up—standing rigidly straight on his feet as his eyes broke away from me to look at his shiny, black dress shoes.

"Good evening, Headmaster," Draco murmured respectfully.

"How are you enjoying yourself?" Karkaroff asked, his dark eyes flickering between Draco and me.

I really wanted to leave now, but it felt impolite to do so.

"Fine. Thank you." Draco answered.

"Wonderful... do tell your father that I send my regards," 

My eyes instinctively widened.

We knew by now that Igor Karkaroff had been a  Death Eater because Sirius told us so, but this seemed to confirm it. 

I mean, we weren't sure if Lucius Malfoy was a Death Eater himself, but after what Draco said at the World Cup, I feel like it'd be ridiculous not to assume so.

I tried to seem impassive as possible, but I made a mental note to tell Harry about this later.

"I will pass it on, Headmaster. Have a good night..." Draco said, glancing at me from the corner of his eye as he stalked off to the corner where Pansy and the rest of his friends were. 

I gave Karkaroff a polite smile before turning to walk away myself— but was stopped in place when he called after me.

"Miss (Y/L/N)?"

"Yes, Headmaster?" I asked cordially, walking back to him hesitantly as my heartbeat began to pick up its pace. 

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep you... but I have just been so curious. I can't help but notice an American accent, yes?"

"Oh! Yes, Headmaster. I transferred to Hogwarts from America last year. Professor Dumbledore proclaimed that I was far advanced regarding my magical abilities and offered me to expand my studies here." 

"How very... interesting. He doesn't do that often, Dumbledore. I mean, there must be many bright witches and wizards in America... Have you ever wondered why you?"

Something in his tone was strange, making it seem like he already knew the reasoning. 

And although his question seemed rhetorical, Karkaroff still waited for an answer.

"Oh, um... I suppose there are. I guess I just got very lucky..." 

"Very lucky, indeed... You remind me of somebody I used to know. An old friend. Exceptionally bright wizard. Tell me, is your surname paternal?"

"No, sir. Maternal. My mom raised me." 

"And your father?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," I replied shortly, his curiosity irking me as it hit dangerous waters that were too personal for me.

Karkaroff was sneering down at me as if there were an inside joke that he was sharing with himself— which made me outrageously uncomfortable.

As if by a saving grace, Cedric finally appeared with our two drinks at hand and nodded nobly at Karkaroff but kept cautious eyes on him.

"Very well," Karkaroff said, clapping his hands together. "I won't keep you two any longer. I wish you both a good night."

"Thank you." we both replied, and Cedric watched him walk off before turning to me.

"Was he bothering you?"

"No... he was just asking questions. Got those drinks?" I asked casually, trying to divert his attention from my odd conversation with Karkaroff, which I was still trying to process.

Cedric passed me my cold drink, which I downed immediately. I placed the empty glass on the bar's countertop and pulled him towards the dancefloor just as 'Super Freak' by Rick James started playing.

"Let's dance”

✩ next chapter: you feel like heaven ✩

[rainystarshower]

Hii, i wanted to request a SFW alphabet with dr ratio like you did with aventurine. Thank you!

SFW Alphabet with Dr. Ratio

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chara : Dr. Ratio

cw : fluff, gn reader, not proofread, slight cussing, is he or is he not mischaracterized let’s find out lads...

a/n : Another Dr Ratio request u guys must love that annoying little pretty guy😭

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A — How they show affection 𝄞≛

I think he shows affection in a rather funny yet cute way! He’ll tell you random facts about whatever you like. Such as, if your favourite were an owl — he’d bombard you in cute owl facts he thinks you’d like, just to make you happy and show off how much knowledge he holds about something you love!

B — How they are as a bestie 𝄞≛

He’d be the type to constantly tell you that; ‘this person isn’t worth it’ ‘he’s a horrible person.’ ‘she got so and so wrapped around her finger. definitely someone who exceeds in social status.’ Trying to find your best match! (Hint: it’s him!<3)

C — How they cuddle 𝄞≛

Not a big cuddler, or so he says. He actually enjoys cuddling with you. When you enter the room, he’ll purposely lift his arm that isn’t holding the book — to rest it behind the couch, indicating you come and cuddle with him. To which you happily oblige! He loves cuddling with you, he’ll just never admit it

D — A domestic life with them 𝄞≛

You two ended up merging your schedules together even unknowingly. Oh, Ratio takes baths at this time? You do too now, and you don’t even know it! Oh, you do this at a certain time? So does he, and he doesn’t know it either!! I think having a domestic life with Ratio wouldn’t be the worst

E — Ending the relationship 𝄞≛

He’ll miss you. He’ll definitely think about you more than he’d like or more than he’d even admit. If you cut the relationship off, he’d be irritated for weeks!! Constantly thinking about what he did wrong and why your reason was bullshit! (It wasn’t.) Safe to assume, it’ll take a really really long time for him to get over you. He’ll be direct if he’s the one breaking it off — telling you all the ‘necessary’ points. Either way, he’ll end up longing and missing your presence in his life.

F — How they feel committing with you being their fiancée 𝄞≛

I think he’d secretly be ecstatic! Oh, you’re his fiancée? Maybe he’s a bit worried he won’t be able to satisfy all your needs or maybe that you’ll ask far too much from him, but he buries that all in the back of his head. He’s more than ready to commit to your relationship with him to another level like this one!

G — How gentle are they with you 𝄞≛

He’s a little less harsh on you than he is with others. Almost all his students point it out, and he denies it, saying he is not harsh towards you at all! He subconsciously makes you look like you’re a being better than any other the second somebody starts the topic about you. He’s so smitten!

H — Do they like hugs 𝄞≛

Not particularly. He is fond of his personal space, but if he’s really in a mood, or you, he’d most definitely accept and enjoy it. He likes your hugs the best.

I — How long does it take for them to say ‘I love you’ 𝄞≛

Quite a while actually. Although, it’s been occupying his mind. How badly he wants to say ‘I love you’ to you, but imagining your reaction or you even looking at him before he says it makes him far more flustered than he realizes. He will say it, when he finally wins the war between his love for you and his pride😭

J — How are they when jealous 𝄞≛

It’s a full interrogation scene straight out of a show! ‘Who was that?’ ‘How long have you known them?’ ‘Who are they?’ and yada-yada. He immediately goes up to you the second he sees somebody being a bit touchy with you, absolutely intimidating them and sort of freaking them out with his sculpture head. He’ll just stand behind you and say “This is my partner.”

K — How do they like kissing 𝄞≛

Oh, he’s a total sucker for them! He loves your kisses, he’s constantly craving a kiss from you no matter his mood, unless it’s something urgently important. If you do sneak a kiss on him whilst he’s very damn busy then he’ll scold you, then nudge you, indicating you should give him one more before he returns to the original topic.

L — How good are they with little ones 𝄞≛

This one’s a funny one!! I can totally see him arguing with some spoiled brat who says Ratio’s wrong about this thing or that thing. But I think he tries to remain calm for ”they rarely know any better. I know much more than them.” but he’d still totally be pissed at them and almost blow his lid! With nicer kids, he’s helping them out to the fullest!! He may not be fond of kids, nor are they fond of him but, he definitely holds care for them, and some kids might like him when they experience the nice Veritas!

M — How are your mornings with them 𝄞≛

Unsure, really. He’ll always wake you up at the same time as him unless you’re really exhausted then he’ll let you sleep and leave a note about what time he went out and some food for you. Although when you wake up together, he’ll take a bath with you, then you two will make breakfast together. Very cute!

N — How are your nights with them 𝄞≛

He’s like one of those people who immediately fall asleep the second the clock hits 10PM. No matter where he is, he’ll fall asleep at 10PM. Which is why, on some days he takes a bath with you at 9PM after dinner. Immediately, he goes on the bed with you, while you are just talking until the clock hits 10PM. Sometimes on nights where he needs to stay up for something important, he’ll do so but, the second he relaxes — he’s out!

O — How open are they with you 𝄞≛

I believe he is quite open with you. He’ll tell you anything that you ask about, so many details to the point you know more than you wanted to! He believes being open with you is the best way to solve any future miscommunication.

P — How patient are they with you 𝄞≛

Quite patient. He’s more patient with you than others. He’ll always help you out when you ask for it! Even if you somehow really get him near the edge, he’ll try his best to remain patient as possible!

Q — Quizz them to know how much do they remember about you 𝄞≛

He remembers everything about you! If you decide to tease him about a question in which he got correct, and you tell him it was wrong — he’ll go on and on about it for hours about how he’s the correct one and that “you don’t know yourself!” if he genuinely wrong though, he won’t take it lightly. He’ll instantly note it down somewhere and try to remember it everyday!

R — What’s their favourite moment in their relationship that they remember 𝄞≛

Everytime you held his hand. Ratio could feel some sort of warm, fuzzy feeling swelling up inside of him when he recalls all the moments you held his hand. Be it while on a walk, you dragging him somewhere, an emotional moment, anything. Ratio would always remember the feeling of your hand. Oh how much he loves that hand he holds so dearly, to never let go of it<3

S — How secure — protective are they of you 𝄞≛

Quite protective. He’s almost like a mother! “Where are you going?” “Who are you going with?” “When will you be back?” and if you finished calling with somebody, if you don’t tell him who called he’ll just ask himself. “who was that?” waiting for you to tell him all the details, if you don’t, that’s also... okay?

T — How hard do they try for their relationship 𝄞≛

He tries the best to his ability. He’s a member of the Intelligentsia Guild after all! Even if he’s busy, he’ll try as much as he can for you. For his love for you and, for your love for him, he’ll try the hardest he can.

U — What’s an ugly, bad habit of theirs 𝄞≛

He’s unknowingly rude at times. If you don’t like somebody or something, and you give him valid reasons — he’ll end up insulting that person more than needed. If you give him invaild reasons, he lets his tounge slip and might accidentally hurt your feelings... Don’t take it to heart too much! He’ll try making up for it...

V — (Vanity) How insecure are they 𝄞≛

Not quite insecure. Maybe to some degree, he fears his words might end up hurting you, but he tries his best to keep it to himself and improve around you. If you found out though, you’ll help him bury his insecurities into the back of his mind so he can be Veritas with you, rather than just Dr. Ratio<3

W — Would they feel incomplete — not whole without you 𝄞≛

Definitely. Without you, he has no muse. He cannot bare himself to find another muse, you are his only muse. How could an artist like him, ever survive without his dearest muse? His inspiration? The beauty of his life?

X — Xtra headcanon 𝄞≛

Ratio has soooooo many drawings and sculptures of you. In every notebook of his, you’ll find a small doodle or a beautiful sketch of yourself. Even if you stumble upon all his sculptures, you’re bound to find a few of yourself in different poses. What you notice about these drawings though, is that he erases something on your ring finger. Even on his sculptures, you could notice small bumps on your ring finger, as if there was something there but he removed it...

Y — What’s in their list of ‘Yuck!’ things 𝄞≛

Undereducated people. If you had trouble in learning due to some mental issue or if you never even been to school, he’ll apologize and help you out. If you’re sloppy and undereducated out of your own laziness, he’d definitely not like that... And I think he would subconsciously make that a bit apparent...

Z — How do they zzz 𝄞≛

He sleeps like a log! Super damn straight, you wonder if he’s breathing or not? You have to sit there besides him for a while, watching his chest go up and down before you sigh of relief to yourself that he is indeed alive and not dead. He sleeps like a total vampire or dead person! When he’s very, very tired though. He might accidentally end up holding you while he’s sleeping. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your back closer to his chest<3

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oh god this is WAY longer than I expected uh oh😭 I SWEAR MY FAVOURITE IS AVENTURINE AND NOT RATIO, I SWEAR OM IT PLS...i might do a fanfic of the extra headcanon...it’s so cute...

[lazyscience]

Have finished Careless People, and my biggest takeaways:

Mark Zuckerberg's favorite president is Andrew Jackson "because he got a lot of shit done," his favorite Roman emperor is Augustus, who was the one who made the Republic into an Empire, and he asked Xi Yinping - yes, THAT Xi Yinping, general secretary of the Chinese Communist Party, chairman of the Central Military Commission - on the second time meeting him for less than 5 minutes, to name his child. This guy loves authoritarianism like Swifties love Taylor. I wouldn't tell this fucker I was on fire and needed to be put out for fear of who he'd sell that information to, he certainly wouldn't do anything USEFUL about it.

Facebook, despite any public protestations otherwise, is certainly not sorry about serving beauty and diet ads to depressed teens and pro-ED communities, racist and inflammatory content that resulted in rioting in Myanmar, invasive monitoring to block human rights activists in China or ragebait to drive "engagement" with Trump ads. They are not even embarrassed at being caught - they are ANGRY because they don't understand why any of that was wrong. They think they should be able to brag about how good a job they can do giving political candidates, the surveillance state and predatory capitalist enterprises exactly what the customer wants targeted, even if the customer's fucking evil and it results in peoples' deaths. It's like the Nuremberg CITATIONS 'but look what a GOOD JOB we did, that should count for something, we were very effective helping fascists."

Amusingly, despite number 2, no Facebook executives allow their children to use Facebook. Or apparently screens in general for that matter.

Sheryl Sandberg is currently promoting a documentary about the October 7th victims of sexual assault by Hamas. There is nothing wrong with that at all, rape, particularly as a tool of racial/religious hate is vile and needs to be called out. But interestingly, Sheryl, where were you and the documentary film crews in Myanmar when it was Rohingya women being mass raped? And where violence, including sexual violence, is still happening in the year of our lord 2025? Oh, that's right, Facebook helped facilitate THAT ethnic violence, so we need to keep that one hush-hush. Oopsie! Another case as with her boyfriend Bobby K, if we did it it's fine, it's only a war crime when it's someone else!

In case you needed ANOTHER reason to hate Sheryl Sandberg, this charming vignette about Facebook's brief foray into promoting organ donation (this bitch actually wanted FACEBOOK to be INVOLVED in collecting people's transplant information!):

Sensing danger, I pivot to the risk of organ trafficking. I explain that countries have put a lot of thought into safeguarding organ donation information and guarding against cross-border transportation of organs. She turns to me, indignant. The edge in her voice is unmistakable. “Do you mean to tell me that if my four-year-old was dying and the only thing that would save her was a new kidney, that I couldn’t fly to Mexico and get one and put it in my handbag?”

Completely aside from the elephant-sized racist entitlement thinking that because a rich white twat waves a bunch of money at a Mexican doctor of course they would give her a kidney, perhaps wrapped up in a Thanks For Your Business! red and white plastic bag with a complimentary taco - what in the lacking even a BASIC understanding of "this shit's complicated and maybe there are good reasons for rules" - like, you think you can put a fucking kidney from a total rando in a Coleman, shake a bag of ice over it and go? BLOODBORNE ILLNESSES? FROSTBITE? DONOR MATCHING? I can't with these people who are allegedly supposed to be smart.

These people really are straight out of a Great Gatsby novel. Their singular drive is proving they're superior to people they despise, obsessed with the trappings of status while being wholly unable to enjoy them as an experience, just as "I'm better than you," who will expect you to go to JAIL for them but then literally step over your twitching body if you need help, and are incapable of imagining a world where they had accountability for their actions, as opposed to simply claiming credit. That's for lesser people, that's for the people who work FOR me.

Meta are claiming it's a smear job, but - these stories, this story, doesn't reflect flatteringly on the author, either. She freely admits that it took her way too long to realize Facebook was never going to be the "force for good" she envisioned, and when she had that realization she was still for a long time was trying to extricate herself in a way that preserved the financial and career benefits she had gotten used to, of being Somebody Important who advised global concerns and rubbed shoulders with diplomats and heads of state. If Meta had been smart enough to ignore this book, I don't know that I would have found the story sympathetic enough to pick it up.

And I'm glad I did, because it was a useful insight. Oh, not into exactly what it IS Facebook does to do its data criming at ALL, you need resources like WIRED and Techdirt for that, authors more interested in the technology itself rather than the implications. But to understand who the true believers are and the ...pettiness of it all, that's helpful. They're not supervillains. It's not a long-brewing plot of world domination. They're just assholes who don't want to pay taxes like every business ever.

(And clearly working in tech is even worse than working in medical. Man, I thought my previous employer sucked? They were a beacon of support and sanity compared to Meta, apparently and that's really fucking disturbing.)