#jy-dumps

[invsibl]

what's the worst thing you've ever done to someone?

"the worst thing i've ever done to someone? i'm not sure if this is actually the worst, but i do regret it, so i might as well come clean. when i was younger, one of my older sisters used to get on my nerves a lot. she would force me to do things for her all the time just because she thought being older meant i was her personal servant. at some point, i'd had enough and came up with a master plan to get back at her. looking back, i realize i went overboard, but it felt right in the moment.

basically, i figured out she had a crush on some guy from her class, so i wrote a really awful love letter, making her sound like an absolute psychopath. he got so scared that he called the cops on her and even got a restraining order. it was pretty bad—my sister got grounded and my parents made her see a therapist. they never figured out that i wrote the letter, but i did try to make it up to her by doing things for her without her needing to ask anymore. i still feel bad, even though she kinda deserved it…"

[asterisque]

While everyone is searching for him in a panic (very important work and papers are waiting for him), Jing Yuan is just napping near the pond behind his house, perfectly hidden from anyone not thinking hard enough-

(He hopes).

This tree and the shadows it provides are so comfortable...

[hvseung]

stuck (s. jy)

pairing: older ceo!jake x employee!reader (f)

genre: smut.

warnings: explicit smut, dominant jakey, profanity, cheating, oral (m receiving), minor mouth play, unprotected sex🥸, minors DNI !

wc: 4.4k

🎵now playing: slow down by chase atlantic

.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*

As the clock ticked toward 6:00pm, the office was slowly beginning to clear out, the only noises heard being the soft whirring of computers and a few stragglers murmuring soft goodbyes as they packed their things. However, here you were, furiously wracking your brain on how you were going to manage to get through the piles of paperwork, which had been dumped on your desk during your shift, in the span of the next half an hour when all you could focus on was the night ahead of you. After a long and grueling week, a peaceful night with your boyfriend, Soobin, was just what you needed. You smiled to yourself, already imagining his easy laugh and the way he always reaches for your hand without even thinking. You loved your boyfriend, obviously…. “Fuck this” you thought as you gathered your belongings, eager to leave and push the rest of your work responsibilities to the back of your mind. That’s a Monday job.

You adjusted the strap on your purse as you stepped into the elevator, mind too preoccupied to notice the hand quickly jamming between the doors just before they could slide closed. They opened again with a soft chime and you were pulled out of your daydream by the sight of your boss, Mr Jake Sim, standing on the other side. His tall frame, clad in a perfectly tailored suit, was almost the caricature of corporate authority. Of course, he was still here. He was always the last to leave, the type who believed in leading by example, even if it meant setting an impossibly high bar. You’d grown to admire his work ethic, even if it made the rest of you look a little lazy by comparison. “Heading out?”

“Yes, just about to.” You replied, trying to mask the slight annoyance in your tone. The last thing you wanted was to get trapped in a conversation about quarterly reports when you were this close to freedom. You shifted awkwardly as he stepped in. The silence between the two of you was loud, the only noise being the hum of the elevator as it began its descent, the small space amplifying the tension between you. It wasn’t that you disliked Jake; it was just… you two had history and he had a way of making everyone feel like they were being judged. His presence was a stark reminder that, in the hierarchy of the corporate world, you were just another cog in the machine.

12…11…10…9… You glanced at your watch, willing the elevator to move faster. You were eager to get out of the building, away from the sterile fluorescent lights and the endless stream of emails that had plagued you all day. You thought about texting Soobin, who was probably waiting in the car park for you right now, to let him know that you were on your way down. 8…7… But as if in response to your thoughts, the elevator jolted to a sudden halt. The lights flickered before the emergency lighting kicked in, leaving a dim and eerie glow over the two of you.

“Did we just…?” You murmured, looking up at the ceiling.

Jake moved quickly, pressing the buttons on the panel, but received no response from them. He pulled his phone out before sighing, the first sign of irritation breaking through his composed exterior “No signal.”

“No… no no this can’t be happening-“ You groan, panic evident in your faltering tone.

Jake responded with a short nod, his expression unreadable. “It looks like we might be in here for a while.”

As the minutes dragged on, you tried not the think about how long you were going to be stuck like this, or how it was ruining your plans with Soobin and how you didn’t have signal to let him know. Instead, you focused on staying calm, hoping someone would come to your rescue soon. But with every passing second, the shiny metal walls of began to close in on you. The silence between you and Jake grew heavier… and it wasn’t just the discomfort of being trapped. There was an unspoken tension between the two of you that neither had fully addressed but were both painfully aware of.

A year ago, things had been different. You had been one of Jakes top performers, a rising star in the department. You were quick, innovative, and always willing to go the extra mile. Jake had recognized your potential early on, and he had taken you under his wing, mentoring you and giving you opportunities to shine. You had spent long hours working together on projects, strategizing late into the night. You had respected his keen business acumen, and he had appreciated your fresh perspective and dedication.

It was during those late nights that something had shifted between you both. At first, it was just a shared glance that lingered a little too long, or a casual touch—a hand on your back as he guided you into a meeting room, or the brush of fingers as you passed papers to each other. Neither of you acknowledged it but it was intoxicating, this mix of professional respect and undeniable attraction. Both of you knew it was dangerous. He was your boss, nearly a decade older, with a reputation to maintain. You were becoming a crucial member in the company, with too much at stake to risk your career over something that could never be. Yet, the attraction was there, undeniable and electric, simmering just beneath the surface of your interactions. Not to mention your relationship.

But everything changed six months ago. You had been working on a major client pitch—one that could secure a crucial contract for the company. You had poured everything into it, sacrificing weekends and late nights, and Jake had been there every step of the way, guiding you, challenging you to push harder. There was an unspoken understanding between both of you, a mutual trust. The late nights grew longer, and the tension between you more palpable. There were moments when you were alone in his office, when knees would bump and the conversation would drift away from work, and for just a second, you would both forget who they were supposed to be. The lines blurred, and the unspoken attraction nearly spilled over into something neither could take back.

Then, just days before the presentation, he had unexpectedly pulled her from the project. No explanation, no discussion—just a curt email informing you that the project would be handed over to another colleague. You had been blindsided. You tried to ask him why, to understand what had gone wrong, but he had become cold and distant, shutting down every attempt you made to discuss it. Rumours circulated that the decision had come from higher up, that Jake had been pressured by senior management, but he never confirmed or denied them.

The fallout had been swift. You felt humiliated, betrayed by someone you had looked up to. You distanced yourself, retreating into your work, but the easy camaraderie you once shared was gone. You could barely look him in the eye during meetings, and your interactions became strictly professional, devoid of the warmth and mutual respect the two of you once had.

For you, being this close to him again brought back all the confusion, the hurt, but also the desire that had never fully gone away. The small space seemed to amplify the awkwardness, each moment stretching into an eternity as you both grappled with the weight of your unspoken history. Neither knew how to bridge the gap, or if it was even possible anymore.

Jake leaned against the wall of the elevator, his eyes flickering over to you every so often. You could tell he was uncomfortable too, if not more than you, but his poker face gave nothing away. He looked away, clearing his throat.

“You still seeing whats-his-name?” His voice was casual, but laced with an underlying curiosity

“Soobin?” You shifted awkwardly, playing with your fingers “Uh, yeah. I am.”

He nods slowly, as if he expected the answer, but still felt a pang of… jealousy? “Serious, huh?” He almost scoffed, feigning nonchalance.

“Yeah. We are.” I shrug, making Jakes eyes narrow slightly.

“Why him?” The question was blunt, almost blunt enough to be rude. He couldn’t help himself though, the thought of you with someone else, especially someone as carefree and easy going as Soobin, rankled him in a way that he couldn’t admit.

I scoff lightly. “Are you really going to do this now Mr Sim?”

“Oh, so its ‘Mr Sim’ now, is it?” He retorts, a familiar irritation settling in. “What happened to ‘Jakey’?”

“I’m pretty sure you made it clear that you wanted us to be strictly professional when you dropped me from that project.” You grit, the memory still a sore spot between the two of you.

He bristles at the reminder. “That wasn’t my decision,” he sighs, the excuse sounding weak now, especially in the confinement of the elevator. He turns to look at you properly. “And that was different. That was work. This… this is something else.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit, don’t act like that.” He takes a step closer towards you, invading your personal space “Like you don’t remember the late nights, the tension, or have you conveniently forgotten all about that part?”

“Mr Sim don’t do this. Not now.” You finally meet his gaze, your patience warring thin.

“Why not?” He counters with a bitter laugh. “Seems like as good a time as any to have this conversation.”

“There is no conversation to be had,” You swallow harshly as he steps closer, his tall frame looming over you “it was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” His jaw clenches, the air thicker than it was. “Is that really what you think it was?”

You couldn’t deny that you knew full well what it was. You liked Jake, as much as you wouldn’t admit. The worst part being, he was everything your boyfriend wasn’t. He was everything you longed for your boyfriend to be. You felt awful, in fact, the knowledge of your feelings towards Jake had been eating away at you everyday since the day they started. The late nights working side by side, the discreet touching, it was more than a simple attraction; it was completely wrong. But that just made you want it even more.

The proximity was almost intoxicating, the familiar heat of his body igniting a fire in you that you had tried so hard to smother. You could smell his cologne, the same scent that you would spend hours trying to rid yourself of before going home after late nights spent with him at work. The memory hit you like a physical blow, and you found yourself holding your breath. You cursed your body’s betrayal, the way it ached for his touch, even as your brain screamed in protest.

Jakes gaze darkened, the last shred of his patience and self-control hanging by a thread. He lifted his hand, his fingers hovering a mere inch away from your face. It would be so easy. So easy for him to claim what he had been yearning for, to forget the boundaries he had placed between you.

“Would this be a mistake too?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Jakey…”

His resolved shattered. He surged forwards, his hands gripping your waist and pulling you hard against his chest, crashing his lips onto yours in a passionate, desperate kiss. The months of pent-up desire, the longing, the uncertainty, it all exploded in that moment. You opened your mouth to protest, but his tongue delved deep, silencing any words. He pushed you back against the wall, pinning you there as his lips claimed you with an intensity that was almost animalistic.

One of his hands reached to tangle in your hair, tugging it back to give him access to your neck as he began to suck and nip at the sensitive flesh. You gasp, almost whining, and he relished in the sound, his other hand gripping your thigh and hoisting it up to hold against his hip.

“Jake we can’t- not here.” You protest.

“Don’t care,” he retorted, his lips trailing to your collarbone. He nicked softly at the skin, his teeth grazing the flesh and leaving small marks “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you.” He ground his hips against yours, making his intentions and arousal blatantly obvious. His hand caressed your thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. “You don’t understand how torturous it’s been, seeing you every day and knowing I can’t touch you.”

His hand slid under your blouse, his touch igniting sparks across your skin. It was wrong, so wrong, and yet it felt so right. He pulled the fabric taunt, his large hand splaying over your stomach. You arched into his touch, begging for more.

Jake smirks at your reaction; the small sighs and whines that leave your pretty lips as you subtly arch your back. He knows you want it as badly as he does, your body giving you away. His hand slides up your ribcage, his fingertips brushing the sensitive skin below your bra.

“See?” He murmurs, his hand cupping your breast through the thin lacy fabric that he loved so much. “I knew you wanted this; wanted me.” His voice was gravelly, rough with desire. You knew he was right. Youd fought against it for so long, denying your feelings and convincing yourself you were happy with your relationship. But now, here, with jakes body pressed against yours like this, all your justifications seemed hollow. He tilted your head up, forcing you to meet his heavy gaze. His eyes were dark, almost predatory, and they pierced right through you.

“Say it.” He commanded and his hand kneaded your breast gently “Say you want me.”

“I want you Mr Sim.” You whimper without any hesitation.

“That’s what I thought.” His mouth was back on your neck, his tongue licking a hot, wet trail down the column of your throat. His teeth sink into your pulse point, sucking the skin into his mouth. You could feel his hand sliding lower, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your trousers. He was driving you insane, reducing you to nothing but a whining mess as he slowly unbuttons your blouse. He pops one button at a time, kissing and biting the skin in between each one.

You moan, tilting your head back to give him complete access to the sensitive skin on your neck whilst one of your hands reaches to tangle in his hair. He responds to your touch with a deep, guttural sound, somewhere between a growl and a purr. He pushed your breasts together, pulling away from your neck to purse his lips. You watched as a glob of spit falls from his lips and lands on one of your nipples before rolling down the crevice.

Jake moaned loudly, immediately ducking his head to smear his lips around your boobs, nipping and sucking at them. You moan louder, arching your breasts further into his mouth and allowing his to suck them properly. He devours your tits, each falling out of his mouth with a satisfying 'pop'. His mouth returned to yours, his tongue delving between your lips to devour you entirely. He catches your lip between his teeth, biting down gently.

“On your knees.” He ordered, and you obeyed immediately.

He inhaled sharply as he watched you sinking to your knees before him, his hands instinctively going to your hair. “Look at you, doll,” He muttered. He ran a thumb over your bottom lip, smearing any lipstick that remained. “I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t approve of this.”

You whine, the mere idea of your boyfriend having completely slipped your mind. But you were too far gone to care, opening your mouth slightly, just enough for him to slip his thumb past your teeth. His eye darkened further, the digit sliding further into your mouth.

“You like sucking on my fingers, don’t you?” He chuckled; his voice thick with need. “Bet you like your boyfriends just as much.”

“No sir.” You shake your head meekly. “Like your fingers so much more.”

“Is that so?” His voice was a little raspier now, desperate for something more than just this back and forth teasing. “Then show me how much you like them.”

You take index and middle finger whole, gagging and swirling your tongue around the thick digits. Jake groaned, his eyes widening as he watches you take him so easily. He tightened his grip on your hair, pulling slightly. “That’s it.”

His unoccupied hand moves to the front of his trousers, undoing his belt and top button in one fluid motion. He was achingly hard, and the slight of you like this in front of him was thinning his patience. You pull your mouth from his fingers, reaching up in a desperate attempt to help him undress. He let out a hiss as your fingers make contact with his strained pants. “Yeah, unzip me then.”

The sound of his zipper being drawn echoed in the quiet elevator. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, your wet lips, the way your fingers fumble with his pants, the flush on your cheeks that gave away your mounting excitement. God, he was desperate.

You get his pants down, whining as he tugs your hair forward to press your cheek flush against his thick bulge. The feeling of you face against his clothed dick make him shiver, his hips canting forward involuntarily; seeking more contact. “You like that, don’t you? God your so dirty. Are you this dirty for your pathetic boyfriend too?”

“No sir, only you.”

“Good,” He groaned again, pulling on your hair again. “I don’t share.”

Your finger hook underneath his boxers waistband, tugging on the elastic and letting it snap back against his skin before pulling them down completely. He helped you, kicking the boxers down until the pooled at his ankles with his trousers He stood there, his lower half completely exposed to you, but he held your chin in his face, keeping you gaze on his.

“You see how much you affect me, doll?” He smirked predatorily as your eyes fixed on his cock, hard and flushed against his stomach. “But you’re gonna take care of this for me, aren’t you?”

Your tongue darted out, licking a tentative stripe up the underside of his boner. He let out a shuddered breath, his hand clenching reflectively in your hair. He guided your head closer, encouraging you to take him properly. You run your tongue over his slit before closing your lips around the head. He groaned, his body arching towards you and silently bidding you to keep going.

“Look at me when you suck my dick baby.” He ordered. Your eyes immediately catch his gaze; his half-lidded eyes that perfectly complimented his bottom lip caught between his teeth. The sight encouraged you, holding his gaze as you take him whole and wrapping your lips around his base. Jakes head rolls back, a deep, guttural moan escaping his throat. He pants as you begin bobbing your head at his base, your nose nudging against his lower abdomen with a soft gag. “Fuck, just like that.”

You speed up, taking him even deeper - if that was possible, desperate to take as much of him as you possibly could. His muscles clenched in response, his abs flexing as he drew in a gasping breath. He finally looks down at you again, eager to see what you look like taking him so far down your throat like this; and you didn’t disappoint. You looked at him through your eyelashes, sucking him so deliciously with a teary expression. He couldn’t look away; he didn’t dare. It was too perfect, so erotic and beautiful.

“You can’t look at me like that, YN,” He moans. “I won’t last.”

You immediately double down, bobbing and swirling your tongue like your life depended on it. You had a different purpose now; this was no longer about him, this was about you. You and your desperation to taste him. His hands twist in your hair, his grip border lining on painful.

“Holy fuck-“ He choked, his stomach coiled like a spring. He was so close to cumming, but he didn’t want to. Not yet, not like this. He moved your mouth off him, pulling you up to your feet and pushing you back against the wall. “Turn around. Now.”

As soon as your back is turned to him, his hands are on you in an instant. His fingers run up the clothed skin of your thighs before reaching around the unbutton your trousers. He undid the button and zipper with a swift, practiced motion, each tooth separating echoing in the cramped space. He pushed the material down, the cold air hitting your soaked core immediately. His hands glide slowly over the newly exposed skin, teasing you.

“So smooth,” He mused, his voice almost a soft whine. “I knew you’d be.”

He pushes your thighs together, rutting his dick between them. You moan in unison, his tip bumping against your clit. He just couldn’t help himself, seeing you so wet and puffy for him was making him borderline insane.

“Don’t tease me, Jakey.” You whine as he holds your thighs closer together. He chuckled at your pleading, the old nickname making his spine shiver. He ruts between your thighs one more time before abruptly slipping into your pussy. You gasp loudly as he pushes in, grasping onto the hand-railing in front of you as you adjust to his size.

“Shit, you’re so tight,” He groans as he grips your hips, pulling you back to take him fully as he finally begins to rock into you. “Does your boyfriend even fuck you?”

You were too lost in the moment, the feel of him, the way he held you, the sound of his voice, that you could barely form a coherent thought, let alone speak. But when he mentioned your boyfriend, a pang of guilt stabs at your chest.

“No?” He assumed, scoffing loudly. “I bet he doesn’t even know how to.”

His arm tightened around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. His hips speed up, making your head fall back against his shoulder with a loud moan.

“You need someone who can take care of you,” he told you, his breathing becoming a little ragged. “Someone who knows what you want, what you need.”

The only thing that can be heard in the confined elevator now is skin slapping, combined moans and your body hitting the metal wall with each deep thrust. You respond with a whine, pushing your hips back to encourage him. He catches your signal, slamming his hips against yours.

“That’s it, baby,” He hisses, his fingers digging into your hips desperately. “Take what you need.”

You could feel every inch of him. Every inch of his thick, veiny length as he filled you up perfectly with each thrust. It made your head spin as you moaned and cried desperately. There was no you could go back to your boyfriend after this, not now that you knew what real dick felt like. And he seemed to sense your realisation, the way your body arches against him, the way your eyes rolled back so beautifully. You were his now.

He increased his pace, his tip bumping against your g-spot with every harsh blow. The pleasure was mounting between you, both of your stomachs coiled like springs. But neither of you dared to say anything, too desperate to prolong this moment for as long as possible.

He could feel you getting tighter, your pussy clamping down on him like a vice; like you never wanted him to pull away. Jake moans, a needy whine in his throat. Every movement, every breath, moan – it was all for you. He was entirely wrapped up in you.

“I’m so close baby.” His hips bucked forwards more, aiming to get as deep as he possibly could.

The sound of his moans, the way he was falling apart because of you, it only served to push you closer to the edge. You could feel his eagerness and it made you want him even more. “Me too!”

“You gonna make a mess on my dick?” He pants, his tip continuing to slam against your g-spot. "Gonna make a mess like a good slut?"

“Yes!” You moan loudly. His hips stutter at your admission, his rhythm growing erratic and sloppy. “Wanna cum with you.”

“Please let me come in your sweet pussy, baby” He whines, desperately nudging his nose against you neck before attacking the spot with bites.

“Fill me up sir!” You push back against him again. But it wasn’t enough for him, he needed you to cum.

“Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum on this dick.” And that was all it took for your walls to clamp down on him and for your juices to explode down your thighs with a loud cry. His head dropped to your shoulder, his breathe catching in his throat, the feeling and sound of you pushing him headfirst into pure ecstasy.

“Fuuck, doll!” He came, filling you up perfectly with a loud whine as his arms wrapped around you in a vice-like grip. He stayed like that for a moment, panting into your neck. He didn’t want to move, his body taut with exhaustion. “You look so pretty when you fall apart like that. So pretty.”

He slowly pulls out of you, almost hardening again when he watches his cum drip down your thighs in thick globs. You flinch as you turn around, a ball of clothes hitting you in the face. Your fingers grasp the clothing, pulling them down from your face to glare at him. “Yeah, real classy.”

As if on cue, the elevator jolted, beginning its decent again. You sigh, relieved that you could finally escape the humid box you had been trapped in for the past 20 minutes. You both put your clothes back on, smoothing the fabric and fixing each other hair. The elevator finally reaches the ground floor, both of stepping out together.

“See you Monday?” He smirks.

“See you Monday.” You roll your eyes as you turn on your heels. You walk away from him and out into the car park, desperately hoping Soobin hadn’t left yet. Jake watched as you retreat out of his view, thanking god.

Thanking god that you didn’t notice him push the emergency stop.

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@ hvseung, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway. thankyou :)

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[jakesimfromstatefarm]

no doubt ── s. jy (sneak peek!)

↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.

↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]

↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || fluff, angst, crack

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── hai everyone, the freaking turmoil & HOLD this fic has on me,,,has me writing til 8AM in the freaking morning because CLEARLY ─ i have unspoken issues . anyways here's a teaser of my recent hyperfixation that i'm sharing with the world. at the rate i'm writing this every night (& morning), it should be out soon (hopefully) :3 also this snippet i decided to include is my attempt at angst...i hope yall enjoy !

also send me an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged !!! <3

snippet under the cut!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

“Y/N.” 

His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago. You stop in your tracks, swallowing hard before turning around.  

Jake stands a few feet away, his usual easy confidence replaced by something raw, almost broken. He looks disheveled, his hands clenching at his sides as though they're the only thing anchoring him.  

“Can we talk?” he asks, his voice low but unsteady. 

You stomach twists, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  

You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 

He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  

“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation.  

"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  

"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  

“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 

"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll shatter if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 

"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 

You let out a hollow laugh, the sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 

“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  

You look at him, your eyes stinging with unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “Then why was...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 

He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 

“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  

Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens this mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you’re afraid of. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—the sound caught somewhere between a sigh of realization and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you've tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you suddenly, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment, about him. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 

"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  

"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said before—I meant it."  

His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see your tears finally spilling over.  

"You promised," you let out softly. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you hurt me anyways."  

"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one I care about."  

You shake your head again, the tears now freely slipping down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I wanted to, I really, really did. But tonight..."  

Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. This was the first time seeing you in so long, and this sight of you—broken because of him—cuts deeper than he thought possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 

You look at him—at the boy who's become your safe space —and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  

"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out a deep breath and take a step back. "I think I just need space."  

The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in face, "Y/N..." 

Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay, to give him the chance he's begging for. But your head knows better. 

"I have to go," you murmur softly, turning away before the tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  

Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he sees you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  

The hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps, a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

not my usual style of light-hearted crack...but sum of the other parts are still very rom-commy bc im sucker for dat shtuff :3

let me know if you'd like to be tagged !

<3, addie

[il-danheng]

agere blade hcs + random stuff!

Ive been brainrotting about little blade rahh..... SO I WILL DUMP ABOUT MY THOUGHTS!! warning: mentions of spiraling, scratching(?) and dissociation

-whenever he starts spiraling/his mara acts up he'll immediately regress HARD, to around like 0 - 1, Kafka usually is the one who takes care of him whenever he's like that. he'd get very shut off but Kafka learnt how to deal with him(made a guide book on how to deal with blade when he gets like that, gave it to jing yuan) -he usually gets very quiet whenever he regresses, he also gets very out of it and might dissociate from time to time.(everyone lets him be until they notice it getting worse) -blade immediately gets distracted/oddly finds comfort from bells or things that like made sounds! Jing yuan usually finds it adorable so he added bells to his keychains for blade to play with whenever they went out and he'd suddenly regress. -little blade always gets jing yuan or kafka to prepare for halloween! he just adores halloween or anything spooky related! -little or big blade always get either jing yuan or kafka to watch horror movies, little blade always insists on watching the grown up horror movies but jy or kafka always advise him/or not allow him to watch it! -little blade always ends up having protection gloves on! he likes keeping his nails very long buut he has a scratching problem(scratches stuff or himself) so gloves always end up being used(same can apply to pacifiers! he has a biting problem) ! THATS ALLLL! not a lot buuut thats all i can think of as of rn

[aha-chuu]

It really frustrates me how HSR chose to dole out information in 1.2. Ofc, mystery is important and good! I don't need to know why Luocha is here or what he's up to, and Blade's past can remain vague rn that's fine.

My issue is Dan Heng/Dan Feng and how poorly they've explained the stakes of that situation.

Like, think about this:

Do Vidyadharas remember their past lives?

If so, how much do they remember?

If not usually, do the elders get that privelage?

If not at all, why are so many characters worried about Dan Heng being a criminal in a past life?

Does Dan Heng specifically remember his past life?

If not, how did he know how to break the seals?

If yes, can he only remember some things?

If he can remember everything, why is he lying about it?

Is he lying??

How do Vidyadhara powers work?

How does Dan Heng have high elder powers if Bailu is the new high elder?

Do the powers usually get passed down through past lives (so Feng -> Heng) or are they picked fresh every hatching rebirth (Feng -> Bailu)?

How did Feng's actions make all vidyadhara weaker?

What were the actual consequences of his actions?

How did Blade stabbing Heng give him the body & powers of Feng but not the memories/personality?

I wanna make it clear: not all of these need answers. But when it's all either poorly explained or straight up unclear, I find myself struggling to care about the dynamics at play. When JY is sad that Heng isn't Feng, should I feel sympathy that he can't let his friend go? Or, like so many characters say, are Heng and Feng much, much closer than Heng ever says? When the Xianzhou characters can't see past the rebirth thing, it implies stuff about the vidyadhara culture that should flip how we see it.

When Heng distances himself from Feng, we don't know if that's a reasonable thing (like, "guy you never met who looks like you committed a crime so ofc you're not responsible"), or if he's being insensitive ("you got blackout drunk and stabbed someone, but you don't remember now so you don't believe you should be held accountable"). There can be a middle ground in there, but what is the morality here? It might be grey, but I could form completely misguided opinions if I consider JY as rude now when Hoyo actually want us to think Heng is the problem.

It's really late but like. I think the 1.2 quest really needed a moment to explain some of the vocab (all that vidyadhara stuff gd) and to outline the characters' understanding of the context. If JY knows that vidyadhara can't remember past lives and knows that Dan Heng is no different, and that he and Feng are essentially different people, then how is any of his behaviour justified? I understand Blade not getting it (he's crazy), but JY is all over the place.

And as I think about it now, Dan Heng must remember being Feng! Like, he opens the seals for one, but he also recognises the Alchemy commission (and that it borders the vidyadhara realm) even though we know he only saw the inside of a cell during his time on the xianzhou as Dan Heng. So if he can remember then he's lying, but that would mean Hoyo really wants us to think he's not and it's like!! This is the sort of thing you kind of need an answer for.

They mention that Feng's rebirth got fucked up. Here's how you deal with confusion while maintaining mystery:

"usually vidyhadara can remember their past lives, but we fucked up this one so idk" "I don't remember" "shit"

"usually vidyhadara can't remember their past lives, but we fucked up this one so idk" "I don't remember" "cool but we can't trust that"

Like, it's also totally likely that this is answered in game. But I've watched multiple playthroughs at this point and most people I've seen don't know what's going on either.

Hoyo dumped a ton of terminology on us, introduced new factions to the enemy roster (and secret behind-the-scenes alliances between pre existing ones) and then said "here's a bunch of lore that the characters will be openly confused and contractadictory about". I'm starting to miss Paimon requiring simple summaries of every lore plot point in order for any dialogue to continue.

[another-goblin]

Warning: giant text dump

1.3 is coming soon and I still can't get over how they did our dragon boy dirty in 1.2, namely the beach scene. (I feel like I'm the only person who sees it this way, so maybe I'm missing something)

(pictured: mullet gang beating up a child)

First, if we want to respect Dan Heng's wish to be seen as his own person, then DF's history is just that, some other guy's history, and DH should be judged by his own merit. So what did we know about him before he left the Express in 1.2 - he's quiet and reserved (that's cool, even small expression of emotions from this type of character feels like a revelation), he's protective of his friends (awesome), he has the past (though currently he doesn't accept it as his past, so let's say he's misattributed with somebody else's past), and he's so traumatized by some immortal murderous weirdo chasing him all arount the galaxy that he sees him in his nightmares.

His loyalty to his friends is so strong that the moment he finds out that Blade is on the Luofu, he's prepared to risk his freedom to protect his friends from Blade. So far so good, until we get to the beach scene.

He encounters Blade and engages in a fight with him for a couple of seconds, and then just stands there doing literally nothing while some brave kid fights Blade to protect DH, even though he defeated Blade many times before. Then he catches Blade's sword with his chest and turns into a cooler Daniel (which would be a nice revelation if it weren't spoiled months ago by leakers. Imagine how awesome it would be if it was a total surprise! But we can't have nice things, thanks to leakers who don't tag their leaks) So yeah, dragon, whatever.

And then he shows zero emotions! What happened? Have they forgotten to write his reaction in the script? I can only conclude that it means that he has full memories of his past self as well as the knowledge that he'll turn into a dragon if killed, so he expected it to happen. But even then I expect some reaction! I mean, it makes it so much harder for him to be just a normal human guy DH now. But nope, not even a frown. (one way I can explain it is that he knew that he'd turn into his stronger form when killed, and it'd help him to better protect his friends from Blade. There is no evidence of that in the cutscene, so I don't think that's how we are supposed to see it)

And then it gets so much worse!

It's not a game-ruining thing, it's just so baffling. Like, I'm not even disappointed, I'm confused by the writers' decision to make Dan "Step aside, I have no interest in stoking conflict" Heng to fight a child, especially when it was so easily avoidable. I mean, I genuinely appreciate all the memes and jokes that resulted from it, but good guys just don't do that! It's like 101 of being a decent person. (I hope Welt has another version of that "How not to be evil" book he gave to Luocha. DH clearly needs it)

What it feels like - imagine two high school bullies in a kid's movie, played by 35-year-old actors, beating up our child hero, played by an actual child. And these two are both MMA champions, and they don't hold back. And the kid just wanted to protect his school and his friends. And we are supposed to root for the bullies.

And let's not forget that DH came to the Luofu specifically to save his friends from Blade. But instead, he teams up with Blade to beat up a child, so that he could faster get to his friends to protect them from Blade. Make it make sense, game!

Someone could say, what was he supposed to do? Let's not forget that characters don't have agency, they do what they are written to do. And the situation develops the way it's written to develop. So the question should be, could it have been written differently? For example, he can fly now!!! He could've just left and flew to his friends while Blade is busy murdering a child! Or talk to Yanqing and explain the truth. Or dodge his attacks until JY arrives. Or just surrender - I think his friends would understand this choice (again, until JY arrives). Or literally any other way this scene could have been written.

Even if we absolutely have to have a boss fight with Yanqing for some reason - make us play as just Blade and let IL join the fight to save Yanqing, showing him that he was mistaken about IL being a bad guy. Instead Dan "I'm not him and I don't have his Awesome Ancient Powers" Heng unleashes his Awesome Ancient Powers onto a small kid.

What are players supposed to learn from this? That Dan Heng is a child beater? It's literally the first thing IL DH does, it's like his second character introduction. And what a second first impression it is. Or is it a foreshadowing of the crime DF has committed ? Did DF burn down an orphanage, fueled by his hatred of children, or something?

And for those who want to feel sad - imagine if Yanqing turned out to be a bit less sturdy. Imagine JY arriving at the scene just to witness his friends murdering his son. Imagine DH explaining to March that he was in such a hurry to see his dear friends that he absolutely had to kill her "widdle baby"

(I'm glad to see from the 1.3 trailer that he'll return to his normal form. Continuing with his theme, he can always say that it was that IL guy who nearly killed the kid, and not him)

Also, Yanqing did really well against two legendary warriors. I hope at least he'll get some character development from this.

[bonknigirlinthehood]

Why the fuck the moment I opened JY x reader tag (and any other char x reader tags) I found someone complaining about a "dark content" being a "that's not dark content that's crime" and saying people who have weird fetishes and dumping it on a fanFICTION need therapy?. Do you even know how expensive therapy can be?, sometimes the only way a person can cope is through fiction.

I have a motto as long as it stays in words of fiction and not being taken into irl, I don't care what your fetish or kinks are.

Now my mood to get horni is ruined. Tsk.

[bees-in-the-machine]

Math dump.

Basically I set out to prove that inverting the coordinates of all points in a circle produces another circle, except in the case where it produces a line instead. These are wellknown results but i hadn't seen much of an argument for why it should be the case, and the results from this might be useful in proving decarte's appollonian formula relating the curvatures of 4 tangent circles.

Anyways. This is a circle: x²+y²=r²

A way of stating it with complex numbers: (x+jy)(x-jy)=r²

Displaced circle (center at h+jk): (x-h)²+(y-k)²=r²

with complex numbers: ((x+jy)-(h-jk))((x-jy)-(h+jk))=r²

simpler complex number notation. z=x+jy. z*=x-jy. c=h+jk. zz*=|z|²

(z-c*)(z*-c)=r²

Now, inverting coordinates is when you keep the angle constant but take the reciporacle of the magnetude. Which with complex numbers is as easy as z => 1/z*

So our inverted circle:

(1/z*-c*)(1/z-c)=r²

multiplying by complex cojugates to make the denominators real:

(z/|z|²-c*)(z*/|z|²-c)=r²

common denominators:

(z-c*|z|²)(z*-c|z|²)=r²|z|⁴

expanding

|c|²|z|⁴-cz*|z|²-c*z|z|²+|z|²=r²|z|⁴

dividing by |z|²

|c|²|z|²-cz*-c*z+1=r²|z|²

putting it in quadratic form

(|c|²-r²)|z|²-cz*-c*z+1=0

Defining A=|c|²-r² to make it less messy and bringing back x, y, h, and k

A(x²+y²)-(h+jk)(x-jy)-(h-jk)(x+jy)+1=0

A(x²+y²)-2hx-2ky+1=0

If A is non zero we can divide it out (I'll come back to this)

x²+y²-(2h/A)x-(2k/A)y+1=0

completing the squares

x²-(2h/A)x+y²-(2k/A)y+1=0

(x-h/A)²-(h/A)²+(y-k/A)²-(k/A)²+1=0

getting it into standard circle form

(x-h/A)²+(y-k/A)²=(h²+k²)/A²-1

(x-h/A)²+(y-k/A)²=(h²+k²-A)/A²

bringing back A=|c|²-r²

(x-h/(|c|²-r²))²+(y-k/(|c|²-r²))²=r²/(|c|²-r²)²

so after an inversion the new center of the circle is at (h/(|c|²-r²), k/(|c|²-r²)) and the new radius is r/(|c|²-r²).

(Or alternatively the curvature is (|c|²-r²)/r.)

And taking care of the case where A=0,

A(x²+y²)-2hx-2ky+1=0 becomes

2hx-2ky+1=0 which is a generic 2D line.

So if A is not 0, the circle inverts to a circle. If A is 0, the circle inverts to a line. A is 0 when |c|=r, which is when the edge of the circle passes through the origin.

Unrelated to the above math, I've found a case where more than 4 circles can all be tangent to each other in 2 dimensions. It's when they all only share exactly 1 point. Normally this case is excluded by having one side (either the inner or outer side) be solid/unavailable. In standard Appollonian circle packings, the outermost circle is full on the outside, and so all other circles fit in the empty interior. And those other circles are all full on the inside. And with this kind of arrangement the max is 4.

[mopillow]

Better stick to math

I need to clear the notes from my phone so bear with me while I dump my trash fanfics, please note that I never finished a single one since I don’t know how to write and they’re done while I wait for my coworkers to finish their part…

Costco cake

-Hey let’s check that place around the corner- this was the only place they haven’t tried, he was starving but at the very least he didn’t get upset unlike HT who invoked demons every time he was hungry, JY was getting tired of this living situation, how long does it takes for an apartment to get fixed after the kitchen caught fire??? It wasn’t his fault on the first place he just asked for popcorn, who knew HT can almost burn the building down preparing popcorn?? Not him for sure… it doesn’t matter anymore, he needs to focus on finding food, and it has to be fast because HT is looking dangerous right now -I heard wonderful things about it-

-are you seriously suggesting to eat from a place that looks haunted?? I’m pretty sure is a paradise for health violations- HT was really picky for a person who can’t even boil water but he was hungry and maybe that place is run by ghouls but is open and is close, at this hour they’ll be lucky to get pizza but eating that for two days in a row is no good for him so m*rder alley it is -they better be good JY… ok what’s the phone number?-

-hmmm yeah about that we need to go over there and leave our order in a box and then they deliver the food-

-… so you want me to walk all the way over there to order my food all that while avoiding getting murdered in the process-

-come on HT, who would try to attack you? Me yes, i look harmless but you? No, no way, nobody is going to do … ow ow ow, stop, do you want to go or do you want me to cook something??-

-let me grab my wallet-

-it’s cash only-

-ofc is cash only, why would they take any other kind of payment, they don’t even have a phone-

…

-are you gonna finish that?-

-yes HT I’m gonna finish my food, could you stop licking your plate for a second and help me find out if he has a special someone? Ask He Cheng, I don’t care, I just want to know if I have a chance-

-what do I win with that? I don’t want you to creep him out and then I won’t be able to order any more food-

- can’t you see that I just met the love of my life? I would do it for you

- Jian Yi do you think I need your help to get anyone??? Don’t you dare to ruin this for me, I have never tasted anything so delicious in my life…now if you want to keep talking just give me the rest of your food and I’ll listen-

- I’ll give you my food if you help me-

- … if you ruin this for me you’re going to pay-

- I thought you were too fancy for a place like that-

- I don’t know what you’re talking about, are you gonna give me the food or not?-

- Promise me that you’re going to help me HT

- I promise, now give me the food-

He should have put more attention, he should have grabbed that plate like if it was the most precious jewel but now it was too late, the food was all over the floor and if HT was a pain when hungry he was even worse when he didn’t had what he wanted, now he just need to run for his life and try to get more food for this devil.

…

He definitely wasn’t lucky the place was closed by the time he got there, curse his bad luck, now what he’s gonna tell HT? How can he get out of this problem

-hey-

Damn now he’s really in trouble, out of nowhere came this guy who looks like trouble, is this the way he’s going to die? He just found love, life can’t be this horrible

-I said we’re closed, but you can come tomorrow morning, the menu changes for breakfast but is just open for 3 hours-

Wait a second, why is he not getting murdered? Does this guy also works here?? Maybe he knows the love of his life

-can I ask you a question?

-you already did, you’re not here for the food?… are you here for something else?- JY didn’t knew what to say, he was here for the food but he was also going to take the opportunity to ask about that delivery guy that he saw not so long ago - look leave him alone, ZZX is just kind to everyone, is not like you’re special you fucking creep- ok it’s time to snap out of it, this guy looks dangerous - no no I just wanted to congratulate the chef, I wanted to ask if you knew him- JY was covering his face with his arms, why is this guy trying to hit him just because he wanted to ask about the delivery guy

MGS stoped his fist and just looked at the floor, no one ever tried to congratulate him, he wasn’t a chef yet but he wanted to be one, he was about to punch this guy and turns out that he came all the way here to compliment his food, just like that someone smacked the back of his head - you need to be nicer with our clients Mo, this is exactly why we only deliver food instead of open the restaurant like we were supposed to-

…

I don’t think I’ll ever finish any but if you guys have any ideas I may try to do a better job in the future

[hsr-texts]

saw that we were talking about oc's and since I love your content and I need to info dump my oc so badly IM GONNA SHARE IT

my oc's name is daiyu and she's basically from a dragon race called the kshatriya that are similar to the vidyadhara. basically they have the ability to reincarnate after death but every 500 years or so they go through a ritual to retain their past live's memories as to preserve the history of their ancestors.

the kshatriya also have two separate ethic groups, the maris (daiyu being one) live in bodies of water and the aeris live in high altitudes like mountains and such. daiyu falls in love with an aeris, but due to the clans they come from, they have to hide their relationship.

but we cant have an oc w/o giving them a tragic backstory so daiyu's gf ends up getting killed and daiyu's coping mechanism is fleeing from her home planet and traveling the galaxies until she ends up on the Luofu.

and since this is me being self indulgent daiyu gets entangled with the high cloud quintet (mostly jing yuan, yingxing, and dan feng). she's lowkey in a love triangle with jy and yingxing but the feelings towards jy are unreciprocated and yingxing only reciprocates after the whole sedition of il happens and when he loses his memories and is renamed "blade". also would like to sprinkle in that df and daiyu were good friends bcuz he was the closest reminder of her past lover :(

this is basically just a bad summary of my oc and there's still WAY more to talk about but that would require a whole post in of itself lmao

I LOVE THIS LORE SO MUCH

[cindy-chu]

Annie’s birthday photo dump. 💃🏻🎉🎂🎁 Super delicious dinner at @meroiswesthollywood which is in the @pendrywesthollywood (where the amazing 4D art sculpture sits in the lobby). It’s funny having a chance to dress up because I’ve mostly been living in sweats for months with the move and waiting for our closet install 🤣🙌🏽 I don’t know how some people get so dressed up every single day with full hair and makeup! It’s so much work. #gno #fiancé #houseofcb #gucci #merois #pendry #ootn #vintagefashion (at West Hollywood, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpVmdQRv-Jy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[hvseung]

stuck (s. jy) - teaser !

release date: monday, august 19th. 8pm BST.

when the elevator at your office breaks down unexpectedly, your trapped in a confined space with your boss and ex-fling, Mr Sim.

──────────────────────

pairing: older ceo!jake x employee!reader (f)

genre: smut

warnings: explicit smut, dominant jakey, profanity, cheating, oral (m receiving), minor mouth play, unprotected sex🥸, minors DNI !

wc: 4.4k

🎵now playing: slow down by chase atlantic

.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*

As the clock ticked toward 6:00pm, the office was slowly beginning to clear out, the only noises heard being the soft whirring of computers and a few stragglers murmuring soft goodbyes as they packed their things. However, here you were, furiously wracking your brain on how you were going to manage to get through the piles of paperwork, which had been dumped on your desk during your shift, in the span of the next half an hour when all you could focus on was the night ahead of you. After a long and grueling week, a peaceful night with your boyfriend, Soobin, was just what you needed. You smiled to yourself, already imagining his easy laugh and the way he always reaches for your hand without even thinking. You loved your boyfriend, obviously…. “Fuck this” you thought as you gathered your belongings, eager to leave and push the rest of your work responsibilities to the back of your mind. That’s a Monday job.

You adjusted the strap on your purse as you stepped into the elevator, mind too preoccupied to notice the hand quickly jamming between the doors just before they could slide closed. They opened again with a soft chime and you were pulled out of your daydream by the sight of your boss, Mr Jake Sim, standing on the other side. His tall frame, clad in a perfectly tailored suit, was almost the caricature of corporate authority. Of course, he was still here. He was always the last to leave, the type who believed in leading by example, even if it meant setting an impossibly high bar. You’d grown to admire his work ethic, even if it made the rest of you look a little lazy by comparison. “Heading out?”

“Yes, just about to.” You replied, trying to mask the slight annoyance in your tone. The last thing you wanted was to get trapped in a conversation about quarterly reports when you were this close to freedom. You shifted awkwardly as he stepped in. The silence between the two of you was loud, the only noise being the hum of the elevator as it began its descent, the small space amplifying the tension between you. It wasn’t that you disliked Jake; it was just… you two had history and he had a way of making everyone feel like they were being judged. His presence was a stark reminder that, in the hierarchy of the corporate world, you were just another cog in the machine.

12…11…10…9… You glanced at your watch, willing the elevator to move faster. You were eager to get out of the building, away from the sterile fluorescent lights and the endless stream of emails that had plagued you all day. You thought about texting Soobin, who was probably waiting in the car park for you right now, to let him know that you were on your way down. 8…7… But as if in response to your thoughts, the elevator jolted to a sudden halt. The lights flickered before the emergency lighting kicked in, leaving a dim and eerie glow over the two of you.

“Did we just…?” You murmured, looking up at the ceiling.

Jake moved quickly, pressing the buttons on the panel, but received no response from them. He pulled his phone out before sighing, the first sign of irritation breaking through his composed exterior “No signal.”

“No… no no this can’t be happening-“ You groan, panic evident in your faltering tone.

Jake responded with a short nod, his expression unreadable. “It looks like we might be in here for a while.”

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@ hvseung, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway. thankyou :)

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[benbrecht]

Die woorde wat ons vir onsself het

Ek het vandag (weer) minder gawe woorde vir myself gehad. Jy mag dalk wonder hoe dan so? Wel, ek moes ʼn opname en skyfies vir ʼn kongres maak en ek het (+1 want ek het iets reggekry). Daarna het ek ʼn kollega gevra om die opname te kyk om seker te maak ek praat sin (+0.5 want ek het genoeg omgegee om uit te reik). Die grootste stuk terugvoer was basies dat daar na 8 minute se aanbied effens van ʼn vertraging is, bes moontlik weens ʼn swak internetverbinding (neutrale gebeurtenis). En toe tob ek vir ure om die opname oor te doen (+0.5 want ek het weer ʼn bietjie omgegee). Toe ek vanmiddag dit probeer oordoen het, het tegnologie my in die steek gelaat en toe voel ek soos ʼn mislukking, waarvan my interne monoloog jou en die ganske mensdom sou oortuig (-5000 want ek is nie in beheer van tegnologie nie en het toegelaat dat iets onbenulligs my dag byna verwoes). Ek kon die dag se werk gelukkig afsluit deur die e-pos vir die organiseerders te stuur en opreg jammer te sê vir die paar sekondes wat haak (+4999 vir die voltooiing van ʼn werkstaak wat al weke my gedagtes oorheers). So ja, all in a day!

Dit is tog bitter vreemd hoe sommige van ons ʼn onmenslike en eintlik onmeetbare standaard aan ons eie optrede stel en soms dieselfde van ander verwag? As ander mense nie daardie standaarde handhaaf nie, gee ons soms nie om nie want niemand is so goed/belangrik/gedissiplineerd soos ons nie. Of ons kry hulle jammer en help maar om hulle op ons vlak te kry, want joh – hoe lewe jy met sulke lae standaarde? Jy moet mos trots hê in jou werk, jou naam, jou reputasie! Natuurlik is daar goeie dinge te sê vir al hierdie dinge, maar ek glo (en weet so bietjie uit ʼn bietjie ervaring) dit kan verwoestend wees vir jou psige wanneer jou optrede en identiteit rondom die goedkeuring van en vrees vir ander gesentreer is. Niemand anders kry egter die ongenaakbare, toksiese terugvoer wat ons onsself toesnou wanneer onsself nie hierdie standaarde nakom nie.

Vir lank het ek met ʼn aanhaling deur die lewe gegaan wat bedoel was om my te inspireer: “That is what success is for – to say suck it to people who dumped you.” My eerste leidraad dat dit ʼn minder ideale lewensleuse is, is dat dit in ʼn sitkom gebruik is. Die tweede leidraad was dat dit ʼn sterk negatiewe aanslag geprioritiseer het – doen dinge suksesvol om ander mense te spite, eerder as om iets vir enige ander rede te doen. Daarteenoor is my gunstelingaanhaling in my proefskrif, op ʼn plek waar ek my liriese self sonder skuld, verskoning of skaamte kon wees (dit wil sê in die voorwoord):

Dit was Heraclitus wat by geleentheid gesê het, en ek wil dit meer parafraseer as woord vir woord aanhaal, dat geen persoon ooit sy voete in dieselfde rivier sit nie, want hy is nie dieselfde persoon nie en dit is nie dieselfde rivier nie. Hierdie afgelope ses jaar kan ek nie in woorde beskryf nie, en ek dink nie dit is nodig nie. Ek kan my oë toemaak en álles voel, maar dit is nie vir my moontlik om te verwoord wie ek gedink het ek voor die tyd was, wie ek geword het, of wie ek dink ek nou is nie.

Ek kyk terug op hierdie woorde en is dankbaar vir die oomblik van deernis wat ek vir myself gehad het, want dit is nou vir altyd vasgevang in ʼn dokument wat soveel gemengde emosies by my aanwakker.

My een-ding-red-dalk-ʼn-duisend vir vandag is ʼn aanhaling uit indistractable (Nir Eyal, 2019:108):

You’d be amazed how many things become irrelevant when you give them a little time to breathe.

[tallulahkia]

Tallulah hummed a melody that wouldn't be familiar to most people here, her love for South Africa would always be rooted in her, be it in the country, the language or the music; she'd always carry it with her, no matter where she went. This reminded her - she'd totally forgot to grab the old radio that still sat collecting dust in one of the crates. The thing had gone through so many years of existence, of being beat around, of smelling and looking green, the radio was so old it even contained an antenna.

Fixing up the bouquet of flowers she'd been working on as she put it in a pretty vase for show, she pulled a face clearly for Adrian to see. ''You won't scare me! Vampires don't exist, Adrian! Just like witches, no matter how much I'd like for them and for magic to be real, there's no such thing in the real world.'' It was why she read so many books, why she sought those happy fantasies in television and in her imagination.

Sarcasm coated her voice as she hit him with the; ''ha-ha, jy is so snaaks!'' at his pornography comment, which translated into 'ha-ha, you're so funny!' Taking the radio out now, the redhead liked to inform further on the matter, ''for the record, there's a...rather explicit store not far from the library where they sell such things! So I wouldn't need to go to a bookstore for that!'' Though explaining herself with a quick follow-up, ''....not that I would go to that store, not unless someone dumps very graphic stuff at our counter and thinks we would give that stuff out at the library.''

“Yes, yes, you did say so,” there's fondness hidden beneath his mock grumbling, a fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he watches his niece work the flowers with the hands of a professional. He is terribly glad she is here with him now, instead of out there with her parents who Adrian isn't the most fond of. Not anymore. He lets her do all of the work despite his affection, for he is old and sipping stale lukewarm coffee from a plastic cup. The morning is beautiful, but Adrian knows it might not be like this all day. He just hopes they get to have a good sales morning. “Most of the night, eh?” He is leaning on one of the backtables, half seated, watching her carefully with kind eyes. “Maybe it's owned by a vampire,” the deep and scary voice he uses is for her entertainment, hoping she doesn't catch the true worry in his tone. He giggles after, for good measure. “Why would a bookstore need to stay open late in the night? Do they sell pornography?”

[estellasolaris]

i think i should only browse tumblr on the desktop cause it makes MUCH more sense to do so.

the fact that I can even tag my shit is amazing.