#just... i wish i'd found more opportunities when i was younger?

[liskantope]

A quote from Kat Rosenfield on the latest Feminine Chaos episode (for subscribers only):

The thing that's always struck me about that, sort of, paradigm of, you know, "fix yourself first, get yourself exactly right first, and then look for a partner" is it... you're creating like a rigid structure, um, that is gonna be that much harder to fit another person into. Like, if you're already crystallizing all of these things about who you are and what you want and, like, there will be fewer and fewer things that you're willing to compromise on because you're like, "No, this is my identity to be like this and to do this." But, you know, if you're getting married and you're incorporating an entire other human being into your life, you're gonna need to be able to bend in a lot of places that you won't necessarily be inclined to if you have waited until you're, like, thirty or thirty-five to... to try to find a person to share your life with.

That just... absolutely hits me in the gut, because it's precisely where, deep down, I feel a despairing conviction that I've gone wrong. The older I get, the more rigid I am, and the more set in stone and generally tied down my hypothetical partners are. (And I'm even beyond "thirty or thirty-five" by now.) This isn't the whole problem with me, but it feels like a huge part of the problem. I have a strong feeling that I screwed up, and that Rosenfield pressed her finger right onto exactly how I screwed up.

[daryldove]

If requests are open, how about prison era reader and Daryl tiptoeing around one another? Like they’re always stealing glances at one another and blushing when they’re caught etc. Reader loves to draw and read, so Daryl is always on the lookout for books and art materials when he’s on supply runs. He’s super awkward about giving her the gifts when he’s back, stuttering through how he thought she’d like it. And maybe one time he comes to her room to drop stuff off but she’s not there, and as he leaves the books he notices her sketchbook open to a drawing of him, and that’s the boost he needs to finally admit?

Loving You Is Easy

daryl x gn!reader, prison era

It starts with lingering stares and accidental brushes against each other. You didn't think much of it from his end; you were significantly younger, and in the short time you'd known Daryl, he never seemed eager to emotionally connect to anyone—let alone romantically. But you couldn't help reading into those lingering looks and the extra attention he seemed to give you. You'd fantasise about him, alone in your tent at the farm, and eventually in your prison cell, too. The tension had only continued to build for months while on the road, even while being preoccupied with survival.

Coincidentally, you both took on the role as providers. Daryl hunted as usual, and you learnt how to forage on top of obsessively making sure everyone was hydrated enough. It wasn't until someone made a passing joke about how you were like the group's parents, that you noticed. and then you couldn't get it out of your mind.

The prison offered a well deserved, and much needed, respite from the months spent living on the run. For the first time since the start of it all, you felt like you could actually let your guard down. Although the upgraded safety meant there weren't as many opportunities for Daryl to hover with the excuse of keeping you safe, the attraction between you only continued to bloom.

One afternoon, to your surprise, you return from the showers to find a small sketchbook on your bed. Nothing directly indicated it was Daryl, but you just knew. The book was beautiful, bound with rustic, thick leather and blank pages. You had only mentioned your passion for drawing in passing, wishing for nothing more than to have the opportunity to paint again. The thought of him not only remembering, but seeking out something for you, thinking of you—it makes your heart swell.

You tell him as much, sitting side by side on the watchtower, grateful to finally get some alone time with him after a busy day. The sketchbook sits in your lap as you observe Daryl lighting up a cigarette beside you with a warm smile. He takes a long drag before looking back with those soft eyes you love.

“Thank you, seriously. It's sweet of you,” you say as your fingers fidget with the worn leather. He shrugs modestly, as you knew he would. The warm light from the setting sun casts a distractingly beautiful glow on his features, and you find yourself staring shamelessly as he speaks.

“Found some paints too, didn't have ‘nough room to bring' em back though. Didn't even know if it was the ones ya like.” Your smile widens at his thoughtfulness.

“This is enough, really. I don't mind. I didn't think I'd have the chance to draw again, let alone paint.” Your voice fades off as you lean closer to him, seeking more—his touch, his warmth, anything he's willing to give.

Right as the sun dips below the horizon, you gently rest your palm in his, watching as his fingers spread without hesitation to intertwine with yours.

[thecasualqueer]

oooooohhhh def def agree with your addition! and just bc your addition got my brain tumbling, if I may add:

"So, I don't think this is something that TV Kara has ever admitted to anyone, to the point where even when being asked by someone close to her who has been through similar things she still can't admit it."

I sooo agree with this PLUS I think the expectations and pressure she felt all added to her not admitting it. Like in the start, she didn't have anyone to really talk to about her survivor's guilt who would really understand why it hurt so much. Someone who wouldn't pity and baby her if she mentioned it. Bc to the Danvers and even to Kal, Kara was just a kid. Not someone who would've been the youngest Kryptonian in the science guild, not someone who will never hear the harmony of prayers in Rao's Temple ever again, not a girl who didn't just lost her family but every single person she's ever met, too.

When Kara was younger (and even in the show, as an adult), the people around her could never fully grasp the depth and grief that Kara carried (which Kara is also infinitely grateful for, she wouldn't wish this pain on anyone), so she definitely kept it in. Both duty-bound to continue living for her parents who told her to, and for her new family who have sacrificed so much to keep her safe and alive. But for a long while, she definitely did not want to.

But what else could she do? Add another point of pain to the people who have already been through so much just to keep her with them?

You're so right in mentioning Kara's martyr-like approach in S1 and I think that applies to the way Kara never really talks about her darker thoughts too. She would martyr her emotions and thoughts if it meant keeping her loved ones from worrying about her. In her mind, and as taught to her way back on a planet that once was home, it is important to be "other-focused" and to show restraint towards things that would "unbalance" the peace.

Kara doesn't admit that she dreams of death bc she doesn't feel like she deserves it and because she doesn't feel like it's fair to share to her loved ones (who, to Kara, have sacrificed so much for her).

anywayysss sorry for the long ask-reply to your addition it just got my brain going brrrrrr 😂😅 I'd love to hear if you have any more additions or different thoughts though!

yes this ☝️☝️☝️

I also think this intense unspoken pain is also what draws her to Mon El. At the point when she meets him she has gone so long feeling this way and never being able to talk about it that when she thinks she has found someone who could finally understand she can't let that opportunity pass by (even if he is the biggest dick to walk the earth).

also... having to send him away after all this??? ie literally subjecting someone else to the the same trauma she's spent her entire trying to get away from, bc it's the only choice she has to save the world.

No wonder she has a mental breakdown and quits her job after!!!!

Also, also, this is one of the things that makes her relationship with Lena so special and unique, bc even though they have vastly different experiences Lena is probably the only person in her life who can relate to having trauma so deep that it cannot even be spoken about. Just like Kara, Lena has been through so much that she is practically bursting at the seems (mentally), and just like Kara, she has had to put on a brave face through all of it.

Like, look me in the eye and tell me that Kara does not put her trauma into little boxes!!!

Anyway, sorry it took so long for me to reply to this ask I've been really busy lately but I hope it was worth the wait.

👉original post (where it started)

[fancyfeathers]

@istgtumlrifyoudothisonemoretime asked a question

Girlie I have an idea for Albert's children!! Alright so one of them, the oldest, is very serious and cranial like Eloise but they don't share her desire to question things at times. Like, they're not the ones to turn away from something wrong, but they are willing to rationalize things their father does. I imagine eloise and them had a good friendship based on their brainy interests, before their fall out when they argued with Eloise about the situation of the house. They believe it was nothing as wrong (they don't say it outloud, they don't want their mother to know) this leads to eloise leaving. But they pay that no mind and focus on making their parents happy. Then they have siblings who are a pair of twins. I'd say they're around 5, used to play with Madeline before she ran. Anyways they're a bundle of joy in the house and sometimes are there for William and his darling when they miss their children.

I imagine that Albert’s and his darling’s eldest child is a boy and is probably the eldest out of all the cousins with Eloise as a close second being a few months younger. Eloise is definitely the most cunning and intelligent of all of the children but he’s definitely a close second minus the cunning bit. He is intelligent by the books but lacks the critical thinking skills his younger cousin developed at a young age and while they were friends this was always a source of jealousy for him because she was always three steps ahead of him in everything. Then of course as Eloise got older and began to notice everything that was wrong and began looking into their family’s history and uncovered the truth, she tried to explain it to him first but he of course refused to believe it since why would any of their fathers wish harm upon anyone, he just could not believe it. Then no doubt he eventually went running to tell his father who no doubt told William about this which eventually led to her being isolated in the country before running away. Then if he ever found out she was the assistant with the best detective in London he would be beyond envious because even when she is gone she is still overshadowing him in his eyes, and he would have that opportunity to if Albert didn’t tell him not to even think about it.

Then I do definitely think that Albert and his darling would have two little twin girls (I like the names Hyacinth and Marguerite but idk about those yet). I think they are just little rays of sunshine, maybe one of them a a lot more shyer than the other and would just want to be constantly held by her father and he can never get her to let him set her down. Meanwhile her sister almost has too much energy to the point where Albert has to keep her from running around the house, especially keeping her out of kitchen so she doesn’t break anything and give her Uncle Louis a heart attack. Out of the bunch I think those two are the most normal, for lack of a better word, out of all the cousins, completely obvious to everything that is happening. Random thought but I think the shyer twin would definitely spend a lot of time with Fred in the rose garden he takes care of and then also her Uncle Louis because she just likes taking naps and drawing or something like that so I think Albert will hand her off to Louis when she takes a nap so he can work and Louis just holds her in one arm while making tea or something, and then I also think the more loud twin would just be a little menace and probably think Mr. Bonde and Mr. Moran are just super cool and just asking them super random questions as children do.

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Sebek..he really did look so gorgeous there. Funny how that ssr and his harveston cards were the ones to have him grow onto me like a leech..And Falena. Now that you say it, maybe he will be in ch7? Savanaclaw is the next victims as we know it so..its possible in theory. It'll be just a bit longer till we get to see our lovely tweels. I think the last time I was ever so excited for a groovy was uh..Rooks. and..Crewels....Crowleys...yeah..I get excited to see all of nrc's beautiful faces t.t

Oh I couldn't agree more. Rook cannot be as bad as most make him out to be. He's full of love for even those not fond of him. I love him and of his 'faults'. I take what I can get with Rook content..i'd adore to see some. And poking my head into a conversation, Crowley too. I love that stupid bird..he's intensely suspicious. But i'd kiss him.

While were at it..I also love Silver. Its rare I ever find fans of him. Wakasama and Lilia take that spotlight,,which is..fair. I'm a Lilia fan..Malleus? Shockingly he's not one of my top favorites..I want to learn more about him. Ch7 translations are giving me that opportunity thankfully. - 🐍

Good evening Viper. It is bedtime now, but I found time to finally respond. I do not care much for Sebek. He is loud and a bit obnoxious... But he is also very reserved and has become a loner among the younger students. It makes me worried about him. I wish him the best. He wants everything for his Wakasama... He needs to practice selfishness. I wonder if Falena will show up in Leona's dream... Only because we did not see him in the Hometown event. Just Kifaji. Maybe not... Maybe Leona is eating a thick steak and napping in a big fluffy bed... I am becoming seduced on accident.

I see a lot of Yandere!Rook content. That does not bother me but I see it more than I see just regular Rook content. I think there should be more variety since I feel like... Many people like Rook, but perhaps there is some intimidation when it comes to writing for him? ... I could make an attempt when I can get the time and energy. But I will search the lands for a prompt and inspiration. I am also very happy you understand the old man attraction. I despise Crowley. But, that does not remove him from a list of characters deemed potentially fuckable.

Oh, I have met only two other people who like Silver. I want to see his appeal. Silver truly is outshone by the others which considering he is supposed to be a dazzling prince makes me curious if it was all intentional to move him to the background. I like Silver design wise. But as the EN story comes out I want to understand him more. He's actually... Nihilistic... In a way... Which also worries me... Oh. I could go on about how Malleus is at the bottom for me. But that is partially because I favor Leona. I will write for Malleus against my will. And I will not enjoy it... I'm lying. I will enjoy it because it is not that bad. But there is no part of me that will ever like Malleus. Ever.

[battleslippers]

4, 7, 14, 17 for the Outsiders ask!!

4. Rank the main 7.

Oh god, this one is really hard for me; I like all of them 😭

1. Probably Ponyboy? I post way more about Dallas (lord help me), but I find Pony way more loveable. Like, he's such a little shit, but he's also hilarious in his own 14-year-old way, and I found him the most relatable when I read the book.

2. Dallas -- As bad as i want to place him at 7th, I'd feel like a liar because of everything I've drawn of the guy. Realistically, I'd DESPISE him, but I find him so fascinating as a character. It's like looking at a disease under a microscope. He's just such a huge mess. It's also probably because of Tim/Dally LMAOOO

3. Two-Bit -- he's funny. I also love it when I find those fics that take into account his alcoholism and deadbeat behavior. They either make the most depressing thing ever or write a really nice development arc. Peeling back that layer of humor to see everything that guy is hiding is probably one of my favorite things to do/see.

4. Darry -- This guy has so much shit going on at 20, and everything between him and Pony is so interesting. He also reminds me of my own brother (😭). However, the woobification of him kind of kills it for me.

5. Steve -- I don't think I've talked about him enough, but the fact there's not much elaboration on him gives people a good amount of creative freedom, which I'm a huge fan of. Ofc, I still wish we had more about him. Plus, Imagining his aftermath of Vietnam + the whole deal between him and Ponyboy really sells me.

6. Sodapop -- I know we do see more of him in the book than Steve, but I guess he didn't interest me as much? Don't get me wrong, he's a great character with a good amount of depth, but I genuinely like Steve more. The thing about Vietnam also applies to him though.

7. Johnny -- I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I never paid him enough attention and I probably should reread the book for this one. I do think he's really funny because the idea of him getting away with sass is just too good. I also think Ponyboy's narration definitely distorted his character in the book (no. 1 perpetrator of Johnny woobification honestly).

7. What are your favorite non-romantic relationships?

Curtis brother family dynamics

Shepard family dynamics

Steve and Ponyboy's relationship

14. Tell us your 5 headcanons you basically see as canon.

1. Johnny is really sassy; he's just able to get away with it because it's him. This frustrates Ponyboy to no end.

2. Ponyboy becomes one of those semi-pretentious lit/English majors. His main reaction to Soda's letter was the spelling, and he seems the type to become a teacher or journalist.

3. I know S.E. specifically stated this wasn't canon, but Soda and Steve going to Vietnam is stuck in my head forever. I find it so interesting (heartbreaking), and the opportunities with this is endless.

4. The Shepards are POC. I don't know why, but I always envisioned them like this, and the fanart kind of just fueled it.

5. Darry used to get into all sorts of shit when he was younger. I mean, he was a regular kid at some point too! Probably nothing too bad though.

17. Are there any criticisms or salt you have with the book?

Not necessarily? I'd have to give it a reread, but there wasn't anything that particularly annoyed me. I guess I wish we saw more of some characters, but it makes sense why they weren't included as much because of the story's focus.

tysm for the ask!!

[echoeternally]

Hey, just wanted to say that I really love Bluebells are Forever and Melting Gelid Roses! I found both of them by accident years ago and would every-so often come back to check your progress. (I’m currently writing this in the middle of my 3-4th reread).

I just wanted to say thank you, you gave a lot of hope to a young gay man when he didn’t have any. So, thank you.

Hi there! Thank you very much for writing in to me!

It's delightful to learn that you stumbled across the fanfics by accident. Part of me wonders how often that happens to my readers and I haven't a clue. Very fun to consider though!

Anyway, I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed both BAF and MGR so much. Those were two very enjoyable fanfics to write and helped me expand my skills in world-building. For Pokemon fanfics, they became something very enjoyable to create, and the audience interactions were something that I don't think I can recapture with any other piece of work that I've done or perhaps ever will do.

The stories themselves feel enchanting to work on, and I love the amount that I was able to research when I was younger. I think that, because the world itself had to be built up with outside references from the franchise, that gave more creative freedoms than I had worked with previously.

Also, making many couples as gay as I wanted was great fun, lol. But, I think there was a sense of wholeness to their characterizations too, and that made their journeys more compelling for readers to follow. Plus, since the leads are gay, that allows readers to relate to them better than they're given the opportunity to do so normally.

At any rate, I've rambled enough. You're welcome for the stories, and I'm honored to hear that they gave you hope when you faced bleakness in life. I do hope that things have turned around for you, and that there are many more beautiful things in the world that can inspire hope, joy, love, and wonder in your life.

If there are now, and you're doing better, that's delightful to know, and I hope it continues to progress along nicely! But, if not, then I do want you to know that there are going to be moments that will feel overwhelming and awful, and I want you to keep in mind that they are just that: moments. Life is full of ups and downs, and that mostly remains out of our control.

However, those downs will not last, and as long as you remember to find even just the smallest joys from the ups, those are worth it. I've been to dark places before myself, but, I've come to learn as I grow that they are not permanent. Some can even teach us and help make us stronger; you don't realize the challenges you can face until you're coming out from the other side of them.

So, I wish good luck and well wishes to you, and hope that your days are better more often than not. Again, it was a pleasure to hear that my stories were able to bring a little light to your life, and that kind of response warms my heart more than you realize.

Hope you enjoy your latest re-read! And I'd like to imagine that I'll update the 3rd story this year for the series' tenth anniversary come December, but, we'll see about that. But that's neither here nor there as much; I hope you have a wonderful day/week, and please take care as well! All the best!

[elliemarchetti]

The Queen of the Quills - Blackinnon Edition (part 3)

Since I started a new series set in this universe I thought I'd continue in tandem with this story too. Reading The Queen of the Quills - Jily Edition will not be mandatory to understand the developments of Sirius and Marlene's story, but some details could be shared, therefore, for anyone wishing to fully enjoy the experience, I will leave a small index in the notes which acts as a reading order.

Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 1 Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 2 Jily Edition - Chapter 1 Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 3

Read this and my other Marauders Era stories on AO3

Plot: Sirius joins James and Euphemia at the McKinnons' for dinner, unaware that his mystery girl is the homeowners' daughter.

Words: 1614

On a late Saturday afternoon, right at the start of May, Sirius found himself on the front steps of the McKinnons’, one hand rapping the brass knocker on the door, the other wrapped around a large bouquet of fiendishly expensive tulips. A house elf with a ridiculously hawkish nose opened almost immediately and Sirius gave him his card, which he looked at for barely a quarter second before nodding and murmuring to follow him. After all, he was expected.

What was unexpected, however, was the sight that awaited him when he was shown into the antechamber of the McKinnons’ drawing room. Behind a half-open door, his mystery lady was perched on the edge a green damask sofa, a vision in ice-blue silk, her face decorated by a wide smile as she listened to a rather bad poem spewing from an old man’s mouth.

The entire scene, Sirius decided, was most disagreeable, and he found his free hand curled into a tight fist as he waited to be announced. He scanned the room slowly, trying to decide if his blow would fit best in the right eye socket or the left one of the wizard who was at best a widower who wanted a second wife, young enough to be his daughter, and at worst a bachelor who had waited too long to marry. Whatever the truth was, the fact the mystery lady was in that living room couldn’t make her anyone else than the famous Marlene James always spoke of. Could this be the suitor he had told him about? It couldn't be, not after he'd seen her punch someone much younger. Another thing he struggled to reconcile was the image he had of her, little more than a child after her second year at Hogwarts, and that of the beauty in a ball gown, her hair styled and a little makeup on, levitating an unconscious man who dared to approach her in the wrong manner. She was even prettier now, relaxed in the waning sunlight…

“Sirius!” a familiar voice exclaimed, snapping him out of his thoughts. Mrs. Potter, who must’ve already been there with her son, immediately held him in a maternal embrace, something he incredibly yearned for during his travels. They had seen each other just a few hours earlier, at lunch, but Euphemia must also have missed the man she kept describing as somehow a second son, and every opportunity seemed good to spoil him with affection as if he were still a lanky student asking to spend the night to avoid arguing with his parents.

James’ mother was, without exaggeration, the most loving person he knew, and that hadn’t changed after she lost her husband and unborn child. The pain certainly made her look older than she already was, but she still held herself well, her clothes excellently tailored and her grey hair neatly pinned. When Sirius returned to her door six years after his departure, she welcomed him with open arms and made sure to update him on all the gossips he might have missed, including the weddings of his cousins he no longer spoke with. He wasn’t surprised that Narcissa had married Mr. Malfoy, they were Hogwarts sweethearts and after all, just like James, he too was the only heir of an important family, moreover one that appeared on the Sacred Twenty-Eight list, as did the Blacks, but that Bellatrix, the most rowdy and grouchy of the three sisters, had decided to settle down was unbelievable.

“Mr. Black,” said another woman, probably Mrs. McKinnon, when Euphemia finally let go of him. “You honour us with your presence.”

“The honour is all mine,” Sirius replied, although the only thing he wanted was to finish the introductions quickly and move on to the part where he was presented to Marlene. Who knows what her reaction in seeing him would be like, and above all, who knows if she would recognize him from their most recent meeting or from his friendship with James. Whatever the answer was, it had to wait, for they still had to talk about the flowers, where they came from, and how difficult it was to import them directly from Holland, especially in winter, even though they were right in the middle of spring.

“They must’ve been terribly dear,” Mrs. Potter commented, only to be jokingly reprimanded by her son.

“What could he possibly respond to that?” he asked.

“With the price?” suggested Sirius, with a devilish half-smile.

“You would never be so crass,” James retorted, with a dismissing wave of his hand.

“Tell me later,” his mother whispered out of the side of her mouth, “when he’s not listening.”

“I hear you!” James exclaimed, exasperated, but their back and forth was interrupted by a male voice coming from the other room, the same that was reciting poetry a minute ago. The man looked amused, as if he was used to that kind of exchange, and moved with such confidence to approach them that made Sirius understand he must be at home too. And if he had been left unattended with Miss McKinnon…

“James!” Mr. McKinnon exclaimed by a way of greeting. “We were waiting for you for tea! You know how much Marlene loves to have it together before dinner.”

“Me, huh?” the girl screamed, getting up from the green damask sofa, undoubtedly unaware there was an unknown guest, for whom she should’ve behaved with greater grace.

“I can’t quite decide if you all are being terribly polite in not wanting to join us unprompted or exquisitely rude,” the man joked once his daughter reached his side, putting an arm around her slender shoulders and therefore blocking his own view on her slowly dying smile, the only hint in her demeanour that showed she recognized Sirius and wasn’t happy to meet him again, especially in front of her parents.

“Exquisitely polite, perhaps?” his new acquaintance suggested, amused. What Sirius wanted to silently show to Miss McKinnon was that he wasn’t a threat, and he bore her no ill will for her brusqueness at his cousin’s dance, but at the same time he wished to prove he could be also funny, a pleasant person to be around. The opinion of other people had never mattered so much to him, and especially that of a young woman, but he wanted to fix things, or start again on the right foot, because something special had happened when he witnesses her display of fierceness and pragmatism, and although he didn’t want to put a name on it, he sure wanted the explore the foreign feeling.

“Oh, definitely not that,” replied Mr. McKinnon, patting his shoulder as if they were old friends.

“The alternative, of course, is…” started James, but Marlene concluded the sentence in his stead.

“Terribly rude?” she asked with a grin, then looped her arm through her best friend’s to lead him in the drawing room. As if by magic, the other members of the little groups followed suit and took their seats in a remarkably efficient way, as if they were afraid the graceful young girl might scold them as if they were undisciplined soldiers and she was a feared general.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t know how anyone could consider you a rake,” Marlene said to Sirius as soon as they had a semblance of privacy. “Your sense of humour is far too superb, while rakes are essentially cruel.”

Her comment seemed to surprise him, and he stared at her intently, searching her brown eyes as if he was looking for something. Maybe a comment on the little encounter they had at Mrs. Tonks ball, but she wasn’t in the mood, too happy and lost in the narrow ring of green just outside his pupils, the color as deep and rich as moss, to spoil the mood.

“And you wouldn’t classify James as rake?” he asked, one of his brows lifted in a rather superior manner.

“He only thinks he’s a rake,” she corrected. “There is a considerable difference.”

Sirius snorted. “If James isn’t a rake, I pity the woman who meets the man who is.”

“There is more to being a rake than seducing legions of witches,” Marlene said blithely. “If a man can’t do more than poke his tongue into a woman’s mouth and kiss…”

“You shouldn’t be speaking of such things, you shouldn’t even know about them,” he sputtered, his tone feeling like his throat was closed for the embarrassment.

“We seem to have veered away from the original subject,” she replied, shrugging the other topic aside. “All I meant to say is that a rake’s humour has its basis in cruelty. He needs a victim, for he cannot imagine ever laughing at himself. You, Mr. Black, are rather clever with the self-deprecating remarks.”

He seemed unsure whether to thank her or throttle her, but what she said was simply the truth, or at least it appeared to be after teatime. They hadn't talked much, but Marlene had listened to him exchange jokes with James and her father, and had really appreciated the way he had addressed the two older women, showing innate respect for the female gender.

“My dear Marlene…” he started, and her lips parted slightly in surprise.

“Surely you’re not going to force me to call you Miss McKinnon after all we’ve been through,” he said with a dramatic sigh.

“We’ve been through nothing, you ridiculous man,” she laughed, although she was infinitely grateful that he had pretended not to have met her before, except when they were both significantly younger. “But I suppose you can address me informally nonetheless.”

“Excellent,” he nodded in a condescending manner. “You may call me Sirius, then.”

[forgotten-daydreamer]

I need friends who're willing to do the shit people do at, like, 15-16. Because I did not have friends like that at that age. I want to go on bumper cars, to stay up all night watching movies, to bake together - I just don't understand if it's a me-problem or if people my age (almost 24 fyi) just... Don't have fun doing that stuff.

People underestimate the effects that "healing" after a literal decade has - when you realise that oh, I've missed out and can't go back, there's nothing I can do to have those years back, I am irreparably years behind my peers because I'm only now getting the chance to do, to enjoy what people usually do when they're almost ten years younger.

I was an emtpy shell for so long, lost in my grief at 13-14, and came back to conciousness about a year ago. That's a whole decade. A whole decade of missed opportunities and unexplored possibilities that I precluded myself for a number of reasons that now, lucid, I deem stupid. A whole decade of missing out, of seeing peers "being dumb" and judging them because how of carefree they were - not realising that people should be carefree at that age. And, I don't know how to say it, but sometimes I wish I'd never gotten past my depression.

Sure, I still experience highs and lows, I still get all kinds of fucked up thoughts and barely control myself some days, but now I know there's more to life than what I thought there was. I have people that I'm dumb enough to rely on and you know what, most of them don't even make me regret being so dumb to trust them, no, they make me feel awful for doubting them, if anything. I have hobbies and things are overall okay, despite the hardships. But now that I know what I've missed - I wish I'd never found out.

[valasania-the-pale]

if no one else has sent you him, can I get Celeborn for the ask meme?

Absolutely :D

1: sexuality headcanon

Personally, I think Celeborn is bisexual as well as demisexual (e.g. he needs connection before he can really find himself attracted, but it could theoretically happen with anyone), but never found a real opportunity to express/indulge his attraction to men. There may well have been a time where he wondered if he was asexual in Doriath, but then Artanis showed up and suddenly he realized he was very, very capable of attraction.

Personal mischief headcanon is that Artanis, while mutually attracted, spent the first portion of her time in Doriath indulging in a Thing with Luthien (or Melian depending on your headcanons of her and Thingol's relationship, ymmv), and he was Very, Very jealous (though not like, rude about it). When the Thing ended, he was very quick to throw aside his reservations and state his intentions to Artanis as clearly and forthrightedly as possible.

2: otp

Galadriel ofc. Early Artanis I picture as having been with a few people for brief stints, but I really don't think Celeborn has ever known anyone else in that way, nor does he want to, and when she found him she found someone she could spend eternity with.

3: brotp

I think once Elrond, Galadriel and most of the elves sailed, in that brief span of years he spent in Middle Earth alone I think he really found himself reaching out and finding peers in people he never really allowed himself to before - particularly with Thranduil, Elrohir, and Elladan. Thranduil was a fellow monarch before, but was distant, and his grandsons weren't as present as Arwen - I think he would have been looking for more connection at this point, and probably wanted to spend as much time with them as possible before he sailed (as, depending on readings, one or both might not have joined him).

4: notp

Uhh.... Kind of anyone? It's hard for me to see him as anyone but Galadriel's - unless they tried to bring someone into the bedroom for some mutual fun, I suppose. They're multi-millennials in a stable loving relationship, I could see them giving it a shot. Relationships though, nah.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He's younger than Galadriel by a little bit, maybe just a century or so. I picture most of the main elves from the Silm as having roughly a millennium in Aman before the Darkening (though I'd yield to more detailed texts), and overall I just find that I'm not a fan of readings where Celeborn is much older than she is (for all that it's a valid reading of the text).

6: favorite line from this character

"Let Gimli forget my harsh words: I spoke in the trouble of my heart. I will do what I can to aid you, each according to his wish and need, but especially that one of the little folk who bears the burden" (FoTR)

I appreciate that Celeborn really lives up to his epithet. He's the Wise - he can take counsel, which is especially validating given it comes directly from his wife. How many other men would stew in resentment of the dwarf despite better wisdom? Especially Sinda men - Thingol, Oropher, and Thranduil all made that error, and Celeborn learns from it and corrects himself when he speaks in haste and prejudice.

7: one way in which I relate to this character

I mean, I also think Galadriel is pretty dang rad.

More seriously though, I try to be someone who will yield to better wisdom when it's given, yet I also often find myself in error. I can only aspire to be patient and make allowances for my lapses, and try to do better next time. To listen is a trait I think many would benefit from.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

(I don't know what I did with the font below here - Tumblr's edit is odd)

The fact that RoP seems to have forgotten him, and is in the process of trying to cuckold him? The fact that even PJ's movies seem to ship Galadriel with Gandalf harder than it cares about him? My man has been written out of damn near every thing he's in, it's infuriating.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Bit of both? He simps hard for his wife and while he's got a bit of prejudice to work through, he's making an honest effort of it!

[scribbledquillz]

△ Question for Ceral! Is there anything you wish you did differently in the days leading up to the Templars capturing you? Any words you wish you did/did not say or an experience you regret never having when you had the opportunity.

Send me a △ and ask a really invasive question aimed at my character Thank you for the prompt!! <33

Discomfort Rating: 6 out of 10

The young man's fingers cord through his hair, the motion a near perfect mimicry of his elder sister's habit. No doubt she is the very person he picked it up from, whether intentionally or not.

"'Spose younger me wouldn't have said no to a few more slices of the sweet bread Masha used to hand out. Never have managed to find someone else who can get it quite right," he says with a slanted grin, though it doesn't distract from the way his brow has puckered. "'Course there is. Doesn't everyone who ends up at Kinloch have them? Most all of the apprentices I knew there had been dragged off rather unceremoniously from everything they knew. Can't live through that without a dozen different threads left hanging loose."

"Really, I can't complain too terrible much. Having the Hero of Ferelden as a sister comes with plenty of exceptions. Spend more time out in Amaranthine at the keep than I do in the Tower any longer. No templars, free run of the coast and enough supplies to outfit my alchemy kit indefinitely. 'S quite a nice set up, all things considered."

He chuckles, but the sound of it is dry. "Sorry. Not what you asked, is it? I... Maker, still makes my stomach sour thinking on it all this time later."

"Rev'd been so careful once my magic came, kept everything hidden or excused away even when she didn't have the foggiest idea what she'd been doing. It was a bloody miracle she managed it, honestly. Then I went and mucked it all up and-" His head shakes, a bitter sigh falling from his mouth.

"Was my fault, you know. That I was found out. Rev'd told me to keep inside after dark. A thousand times and then a thousand times more. 'Course I was twelve and didn't need to listen to everything my big sister said anymore, did I? Not to mention L- ...I'd made a new friend who could only come 'round when things were quieter. I was out in the alley talking with them after Rev nodded off for the night, too busy with what I was doing to notice there were folk coming up along the alley behind me 'til one put their hand on my shoulder. I panicked. Whipped 'round without thinking, tried to push them off of me 'fore they caught sight of my friend and - well. Pushed a little harder than I meant to. He went flying - a force push, figured that out pretty quickly once I reached the Circle. It wasn't even anyone to worry over. Just some of the dock workers coming home from the tavern for the night. The one who reached out had worked with my Da 'fore he joined the Maker, think he'd just been wondering what I was doing out alone in the dark. The way the lot of them looked at me while he pulled himself up from the ground..."

"Templars came three days later. I got carted off, Rev tried to throw herself between them and me, lost her ear and got tangled up in a whole other mess of trouble. All because I didn't follow one pathetically simple rule."

[chaosintheavenue]

At long last, it's time to continue to answer my 76 ask meme for Trin!

🧠 Trin's in-game stats are very different to her 'official' version, so I'll split this answer in two...

In-game: This is her full SPECIAL and perk card setup, which I've barely touched since she hit level 50.

Official: S3 P7 E3 C4 I9 A8 L6. For 76, I had to ramp up the Strength and Charisma because they directly play into melee ability and speech checks. IIRC I also made Endurance high for increased HP (her official low Endurance is supposed to represent the fact that she's, erm, basically turning into an ultracite geode on the inside). Her Fallout 3/New Vegas-style skills would be Energy Weapons, Science and Repair (Survival is the next contender if she had an extra slot, and if I was to play as her in one of those games I'd probably use Survival over Repair just because I almost never repair items lol)

🎯 She sees Ecological Balance as an important duty to carry out regularly to monitor scorchy contamination in the environment, so if you asked her she'd probably call that her favourite. But in terms of sheer enjoyment of the quest and its rewards, the Camden Park games and Strange Brew. As for least favourite, anything that's solely combat-based

🏆 There's a lot of events she enjoys for various reasons, but I think she'd say Test Your Metal as an all-time favourite. Close runners up are Moonshine Jamboree and The Path to Enlightenment. Very much enjoyed Mothman Equinox, Fasnacht and Grahm's Meat-Cook whilst they were around too. She finds a certain satisfaction in helping with the nuke-initiated boss battles, but I'd hardly call that 'enjoyment' in any sense of the word. And now least favourite... drumroll please... also Test Your Metal, depending on who turns up and how the event goes

⛑️ She tries her best to help out the Whitespring Refuge guys where she can, and has been to the Pitt on their behalf a few times. But she is still somewhat unsure of the motives of Orlando and the 'Management' they represent

⭐️ She hasn't had much of a chance to form an opinion on the Free States, especially as she's never met a living representative of them and was otherwise occupied (by her increasing scorchiness) during the time she was working through their questline segment. She does, however, see potential for some Brotherhood tendencies there. Pretty sure she'd take a cautious approach if she ever did encounter them directly

⚙️ Oookay, backstory time. Technically, Trin is BoS herself. One side of her family goes way back in the California BoS, and she spent some time living in Lost Hills as a child/young teenager. Her opinion on the group does differ somewhat from chapter to chapter (she's met the East Coast chapter inbetween Fallouts 3 and 4, and of course now the Fort Atlas guys, but she's still primarily familiar with the attitudes, rules, terminology and tendencies of the West Coast BoS), but on the whole, it's fair to assume she's not a fan

🔬 What little contact she's had with the Enclave throughout her life has been very negative, so... also not a fan here

🦋 She finds the Mothman worshippers of all varieties to be fascinating, and part of her wishes they'd give her a chance to get closer and learn a bit more about them

🐄 She doesn't really have a particular opinion on the company itself, but gets along very well with most of the individuals that make up Blue Ridge. She takes part in the caravan runs whenever she has the opportunity, and did once briefly consider trying to become a full employee

👗 She doesn't know a lot about the Order, so she mostly just sees them as another group who tried and failed to survive, and regards them with some level of pity for the misfortune they encountered

🌆 Trin only travels to the Pitt to drop off supplies and help on small missions. She briefly saw the city when she was younger and found it a uniquely scary, hostile place to be, and that first impressions still colours her views on the place and its less-friendly inhabitants (particularly Trogs) today

[void-rainbow]

autistic hot takes lol

Just thinking about the concept of "special interests"

I don't get it. I really don't. The deeper I read into it the more it just seems like neurotypical people can't handle autistic people being weird, and that it's more of a product of neurotypical people restricting themselves and their interests to some artificially agreed upon subset of topics.

I already have quite a bit of thought on "normalcy" and how artificial it is. Cuz people all the time are trying to talk about how to change themselves in order to be normal and fit in. The effort it takes to create this artificial reality for those who subscribe to it

I guess essentially I just wanna pull a "no u" on the thought of restrictive interests

I just wonder if "special interests" in autistic people are noticed by neurotypical people cuz they expect normalcy whereas autistic people are likely to not notice or give up on what others are trying to tell them to restrict themselves to.

I dunno. It's possible I'm just not that kind of autistic person. That I just don't have a special interest and so get offended by this encroachment of normalcy. But still. I got diagnosed with autism this year, and they asked me about special interests. I wasn't sure what to say except that I like bugs. And show off my favorite spider, argiope aurantia. Cuz why not XD It was my opportunity to force them to see it. As it is here in my own post lollllllll

I don't know if that tipped the scale in any way on an autism diagnosis. Or if my behavior was artificially seen as weirder because I wanted to show them a spider because I saw the opportunity. Or is that indeed the very behavior they look for, uh XD

I dunno man. I could've liked anything. I love photography and bugs are everywhere, the most abundant subjects, so I wanted to learn about my subjects. It's an interest on its own now. I guess mammals are less interesting cuz they're more normal. And also bugs are tiny and everywhere and that means it's like....secret little lives happening all around us. A similar feeling to looking up at the sky in wonder and realizing how small we are in the universe, how tiny a portion we and all our struggles and triumphs and loves are. And in the world around us, how much we never notice, how much we never could notice due to the sheer number, the numerous insects and other small creatures living their lives, struggling and dying and reproducing and cleaning themselves and all the drama packed into such small spaces. Everywhere, anywhere.

To the wonder at a study of geology. The thought that rocks can hold so much history, to learn of ancient earthquakes, lava flows, oxygen levels, fires. Plant diversity, fossils, extinctions. How can you not stand in wonder at the vastness of time? The chemistry and physics of it all?

I love to learn most things about nature. It's all a wonder. Love to hike and camp and read National Geographic and watch documentaries and educational youtube. All together.

And yes I focus on bugs most of all, why not.

Another side of the story is just. Life is hard. I've hardly had any jobs and have struggled with school. Just living life disabled I guess. And I get bored. I want to have something to do. Learning can help. Subsume myself in nature, physically and/or mentally, to keep myself occupied. Little projects like the homemade bug guide I made earlier this year. Identifying all the bugs I take pictures of and learning about them. It helps. I probably wouldn't look into it so much if I was more "successful". I didn't do all this when I was younger. I don't regret the interests, but I do wish it was easier as far as overall life functioning. I just feel like I'd know less about my supposed "special interest", and focus on it much less specifically, if I didn't have all these struggles....

Trying to read on it today I found that yes some other autistic people don't like this categorization. Pathologizing of the interests of autistic people over allistic people. I'll probably be reading about it more

[vexxerveesvoice]

The Kabbalah of Writing: Chapter One Writing Exercises

As a Jewish writer, I've been wanting to explore more about how to connect my writing to my spiritual and religious practices. As a first step towards this, once a week I will be responding to each of the writing exercises provided in Sherri Mandell's The Kabbalah of Writing. For the sake of being careful of copyright, I will not be posting the questions themselves. I encourage fellow Jewish writers to follow along.

I wish I could read more exploratory works. I really enjoy reading books that push the boundaries and definitions of genre and style rules. I don't tend to reach for memoirs as much, but I have enjoyed and found meaning in the ones I've read. The ideal memoir, to me, is autofiction - a mixture of truth and exaggerations or distortions which emphasize the writer's emotions and draw the reader's attention to specific pieces of information or ideas.

All I truly desired as a child/young adult was to escape my family. I grew up in a verbally abusive household and saw college and adulthood as my way out. Now that I've grown slightly older and have some rather harrowing experiences under my belt, I have the ability to put my previous experiences into context as having been painful, but not as terrifying as what I would later come to experience. It's led me to a more forgiving and gentle mindset than the pit of anger I grew up feeling.

Today, I don't have many great desires. I'm perfectly happy with enjoying my health and the health of my loved ones. If I were to wish for something, it would be for my current job search to come to a satisfactory end. I've been pursuing this with regular job applications and continuing to network within my field, but job searches tend to be a matter of "hurry up and wait," so that's what I'm doing. The comparative lack of job openings in my field in the area I'd like to work is the only major road block preventing the fulfillment of this desire. Once it is fulfilled, I will have a reliable source of income and a regular schedule. It's a relatively small desire, but it's the greatest one I have at the moment.

One form of discouragement I experienced was my mother telling me I can't sing because when she was growing up, she was told that she couldn't sing either. This prevented me from joining choir as a grade school student or pursuing other vocal performance opportunities, even though I thoroughly enjoy singing in my free time. Were I to reply to her then as the person I am now, I'd remind her that not only do I enjoy her singing voice, but it's possible to improve one's own singing with time, effort, and proper training. Given the right supports, I'm just as capable of singing well as anyone else can be, and just because she was told she couldn't sing doesn't mean she should assume the same of her children.

When I was a high schooler, another school's color guard coach commented that my skills on a particular piece of equipment had potential, should I receive the right training. Unfortunately, I was never able to pursue or receive training on that piece of equipment, but the soul of the comment, the idea that I was just as capable of being successful in the sport as my teammates, encouraged me to continue practicing and eventually become a captain of my university team for multiple years, where I was able to foster the love of the sport and teach basic skills to my younger teammates.

I'm not that great at encouraging myself. My self-talk tends to be more negative than anything else. As I've grown older, though, I've learned to acknowledge my inner toddler and gently parent them by lovingly providing for my needs when tensions arise. This inner parent has been a major source of support for me in times of crisis and when I've had difficulty caring for myself.

I tend to encourage my close friends (who happen to be writers as well) and my younger siblings most in my life. In college, I worked with my closest friend on short story pieces to submit to a undergraduate literary journal and we encouraged each other by providing honest positive feedback both to continue writing our pieces and in selecting the pieces we decided on submitting.

Willpower and I have a complex and relatively unhealthy relationship. As someone with clinical depression, I often find it hard to exercise willpower as a means of getting myself to take care of my body or responsibilities. Oftentimes, if there is no external reason for me to complete a task, it will not get done either in a timely manner or at all. Usually, forcing myself to complete a task through willpower alone will be unsuccessful.

My passion today is probably writing. It's a love-hate relationship. It allows me to empty my mind out into the open and reflect on my inner world while connecting with and exploring my surroundings, but it's also difficult. I struggle to find topics to write about and, lately, I've struggled to find something to write "towards," which means most of my stories and poems have felt empty and bereft of meaning. It's been frustrating to feel this void and not know how to fill it. I've been trying to explore the world around me and become a more "interesting" person as a means of solving this problem, but I don't know that it's worked yet.

Reasons I can't write: I have nothing to say. All the things I could possibly have to say have been said before. My writing and my thoughts often make people uncomfortable. I have an ill command of "proper" writing and haven't studied the classics or contemporary writers enough to call myself a proper writer. I don't write enough to say I'm a writer. I don't have a routine. I'm too busy to write (this is a lie, I'm less busy than I've ever been before in my life right now). I'm scared of what might come out of me. I don't want to be judged by my peers for what I have to say. I want to find community and connection but fear being isolated instead. Writing feels like something smart people do, and I don't feel smart enough to have something thoughtful to say. I feel too self-centered to write anything good or meaningful. Writing is too hard and doesn't feel worth it because I'll never make any money with it and if I can't do that, then I won't be able to support myself and I'll die alone somewhere.

Reasons these judgmental things aren't true: I'm still developing what I have to say. No one has the perfect story or poem or anything ready on the first draft. Writing is about getting it all down on paper, including the 90% garbage that comes out initially. It's about the practice of getting into your head and sorting out the tangled strings you find there. So what if my writing makes some people uncomfortable? My writing is meant for me. It's meant, first and foremost, to help me understand the world and my place within it. If other people can find enjoyment and fulfillment from it, that's an extra bonus. I've studied writing plenty. There's always more to explore, but writing should never be gatekept behind academia. It's a tool for everyone. Yes, it's scary to be isolated by our peers and to be kept out of writing communities, but that's the risk you take by having something to say and saying it with your full chest. It's okay to not agree with everyone. It's okay to be scared, but it's important to do it anyway. I may be a little self-centered in my writing, but that's okay, too. There's times for that, just like there's times for exploring outside oneself. It's okay to do both. So what if I don't make any money from writing? Making money isn't the goal. I have other skills which I intend to make money from. If I'm able to make some money from writing as well, that's great, but I don't need to. My goal with writing is to explore the world around me in the ways only I can. That is, in and of itself, enough.

A recent doubt I had, albeit one with minor consequences, was whether I'd use a gym membership enough to warrant purchasing one. On the one hand, I'd have access to a pool, weight room, and fitness classes regularly, and would be more likely to use them if they felt "free" when I attended. On the other hand, I have a habit of spending money in places I don't need to and my more recent attempts at starting fitness routines haven't been successful because of the prohibitive costs of regularly using a pool or fitness center without a membership. There's no right answer to this question, but I did make a decision. I won't reflect on it here, though, partially because I don't fully know how my decision will turn out.

The most vulnerable I've ever felt was when I tried to communicate to an ex-partner that I'm alterhuman. While I do see myself as human in some ways, I also see myself as a kind of shapeshifter. I still struggle to admit it to other people because when I was younger, furries and alterhumans were constantly the butt of jokes and are still seen as communities to be made fun of today. It's scary to admit that I don't view myself as fully human because I don't want to be isolated from my other communities. Writing this is an immense practice of placing trust in the formless void of the internet. Please be kind.

One piece of literature that's had profound meaning for me recently has been Voice of the Fish by Lars Horn. I also have a complicated relationship with my mother and have gone through an intense health crisis which caused a lapse in my ability to write. Voice of the Fish makes me want to reflect on and write essays about my relationship with my mother and how it weaves into my relationship with the environment and the elements.

Ten turning points of my life, in no particular order:

My mother's argument with me in the sixth grade which irreversibly tainted our relationship

My decision to join my high school color guard team.

My friendship with the person who made me feel insecure about myself

The 2016 election

The moment I received an acceptance letter from my undergraduate institution of choice

The time I was given two shots simultaneously and had my first syncopal event

The time I almost died alone in my apartment because heat exhaustion triggered my eating disorder so severely I could no longer walk

The time I quit my job because my chronic pain was too severe to allow me to continue working

The time my ex-partner hesitated to pick me up from the hospital following a syncopal event

My decision to return to my home town following a severe health event

[fushigiyuugi]

How about three for three!

1. Chiriko, I find his character tragic as he's one of the youngest characters we are introduced to in the series. Honestly I think part of the reason why I love him as a character was because I was even younger than him when I was first introduced to the series and I latched onto a child character, and permanently solidified my love of child genius characters. I do wish the series had more opportunities to showcase Chiriko and Mitsukake, i know the manga had a little bit more than the anime, but compared to the rest of the Suzaku seven the two of them really struggle to get screen time. I know he had a light novel story and i am on a HUNT to find an English fan translation.

2. Tasuki, he's loud and his mouth moves faster than his brain can process what he's getting into. He is my brother's favorite character and I'd be Tasukis ride or die if I met him in real life. I love that we got to see him embrace being part of the Suzaku seven and treating everyone like they're a part of his family. He was Miaka's number one supporter on her love life and basically became an older Brother to her over the journey, for a guy who went on how much he doesn't like women he quickly changed his tune when it came to her. He wears his emotions on his sleeve; you know he's sincere when he's lovingly teasing and breaking when you see him at his low points as he watches his friends die.

3. Nuriko, i personally use he/they for this character but I don't mind using she/her as well! Nuriko was my first exposure to an LGBT character and while they didn't break my egg, they certainly caused some cracks even at a young age. I very much want to get their celestial mark as a tattoo at some point. They're a result of at-the-time norms to Gay/Trans characters, and when you throw in Ancient China social norms into the mix it isn't entirely a surprise to see why some people think their character was handled poorly. I admire how unapologetically loud and proud they are after being forcibly outed and I love that while at the end of the day no matter how many jokes they made at her expense, everyone respected and enjoyed Nurikos company. I could consume Tasuki, Nuriko and Miaka shenanigans all day long

Honorary Mention: Yui! I love doing character Analysis on antagonists, and Yui is a character I have loved being able to explore over and over again as I have gotten older. Even as a child I don't think I ever found Yui annoying, she a victim of her circumstances and was groomed by a man who realized he could weaponize her pain for his own gain. This isn't to say she is not responsible for her actions, as there WERE times she purposefully made a choice that went against her friend. But she was 15, and from her perspective, easily spent 6 months minimum convinced she had been raped and abandoned, forgotten. Nakago made her felt seen and important in a time she was ready to literally kill herself. Yui was mostly able to redeem herself because Miaka never gave up on being her friend, and having Miaka there to bring her out of the darkness that LITERALLY consumed her is what gave her opportunity to go through a metaphorical rebirth and correct her actions. I understand why people dislike Yui, but I think she does a fantastic job on filling her roll as the Antagonist who pushes Miaka into summoning Suzaku. I love that we got to see her process her pain and trauma and shift her outward thoughts to be from "I want my best friend to hurt the way she hurt me" to just "I'm hurt and i miss my best friend, I'm scared to be alone."

Would you like to talk about Fushigi yuugi blorbos

ABSOLUTELY.

Top 3 blorbos in no order

Miaka. Controversial opinion perhaps but as I've gotten older I've really come around to love Miaka. She's a character who is really believable as a teenager going through all the stuff being thrown at her - she tries her best to be responsible but she's also only 15! She's gonna mess up and goof around! And I love how much she cares about the people around her. She never gives up on Yui no matter what happens, because Yui is her best friend and she understands she's suffering and in a terrible manipulative environment. She apologizes to Hotohori when she can't return his feelings. She tries on two separate occasions to give up on Tamahome because it's the Responsible thing to do. She tries so damn hard and her heart is so damn big. (Also for as much as she's getting saved, she also has several badass moments.) (Also get this girl some therapy she was assaulted at least 3 times within a few days.)

Takiko Okuda. Where do I even begin?? If I think about her for too long I'll cry. She's brave. She's kind. She's suffering so much but she will put her suffering aside to help others. She's so insecure that it kills her. She's willing to die to save the world she loves. She kicks ass. She doesn't know what prostitutes do. You know she's going to die from the moment you open the book but you still fall in love with her and want her to be okay (I actually forgot she died until I did a FY reread and reread the explanation of her death lmao). I'm obsessed with her.

NURIKO. Literally would die for her. (I use she/her for Nuriko usually, but that's a personal preference because I read the manga first and they always used she/her for Nuriko (the anime used he/him).) Truly a queer icon of the age. Nuriko is That Bitch - started out so awful to Miaka for the pettiest reasons, and somehow ended up being Miaka's bestie/older sibling figure, and I love it. She's a mean girl but she's also compassionate when it comes down to it. Devastated me when she died. will never recover from it.

Your turn!! Share your Fushigi Yuugi blorbos with me (if you want) 💜

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Groceries (Might Guy x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: very minor angst, food mentions (TW for EDs)

A/N: Hope you enjoy! I've been so thirsty for Naruto characters recently it's not even funny

Also, this was originally two parts but I've combined them into one so let me know if the transition doesn't work!

Growing up in Konoha you always felt safe. You knew there were experienced shinobi there to protect you. As a little girl, you would see them walk down the streets and watch in awe as they passed by you.

Despite everything you had seen in terms of violence, you still felt safe in the Leaf Village. There had been some tense battles, but the leaf shinobi always prevailed.

It was a day more peaceful than most as you made your way down to the store. You only needed a few things, but with the nice weather you decided to take advantage of the day instead of waiting for the grocery list to get longer.

Smiling, you walked into the store to the tune of children laughing and birds chirping. It was like you were in a movie.

You made your way down the aisles, picking up the items you needed as you went. Milk, eggs, noodles, and more went into the small cart in your hands as you browsed. Lost in your own world, you didn't see the other cart as it came around the corner at the same time as your own.

The carts crashed into each other, you and the other person with them. It almost winded you, both from surprise and the force of falling into the cart.

"I am so sorry!" You explained, looking up to the man you found in front of you. Luckily, neither of your groceries seemed to have sustained much damage. You found yourself surprised to be met with the most gorgeous dark eyes you had ever seen.

"It's no problem!" Said the man, flashing you a confident smile with a thumbs up. "No damage done."

You felt a hot flush rise to your face, but thankfully the man didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you," you said in a fluster. You weren't sure what you were even thanking him for, not yelling at you? It was then that you took notice of his outfit, especially the band around his waist. "Are you a shinobi?"

The smile stayed ever-present on his face.

"Yes I am! A jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

If you had just half the enthusiasm of this man, you think you would be running on empty in less than five minutes. Hearing he was a jonin, you were impressed.

"Well, thank you for all that you do," you offered, moving to continue your shopping.

Although your interaction was brief, you couldn't stop thinking about it as days passed. Something about his eyes, and his confidence, drew you into him. You tried to brush it off, seeing as it was such a simple interaction, but it was impossible. Even trying to tell yourself that he didn't remember you wouldn't work; there was still a part of your brain that would never quiet down.

You had never minded being a civilian in Konoha. Sure, when you were younger you had thought about being a konoichi, but those were just the thoughts of a child. You never pursued it. You were happy with your career, teaching young children in subjects other than jutsu.

Despite your happiness, you began to wish that you had gone to the academy. Then you would have been able to find the man who was plaguing your thoughts. Even after that, you might have been a real option for him. You knew shinobi tended to mostly be interested in other shinobi.

You didn't know why it upset you so much. You didn't even know the man's name, and yet you were sad that you might not be his type. Feeling a bit pathetic, you found yourself in need of another grocery run. Trying to ignore the thought that you might see him again, you made your way to the store.

Sadly, at least for that persistent, gremlin part of your brain, the trip was rather uneventful. At least, until you found yourself in front of the produce.

You were trying to eat healthier, but it was hard. It wasn't that you didn't like your body, you just wanted to feel better in your own skin. As you stood there pondering, a male voice scared you from your thoughts.

"Excuse me."

You turned, disappointed to see a man with silver spikes instead of the dark bowl cut you had hoped for. You mumbled a sorry, stepping out of his way.

"Careful Kakashi," boomed another voice, "I'd keep your distance from that woman's cart if I were you."

Now that is the voice you had been hoping for.

As you turned, the tall man immediately caught your eye. You blushed at his words, remembering your initial encounter. The other man, Kakashi, looked at you with confusion. He grabbed what he needed before walking away, leaving you and the other man alone.

"So what brings you back here?" He asked. Normally you would have thought of this as awkward conversation, but your heart leapt at the opportunity to talk to him again.

You sighed, "I'm trying to decide what I want. I wanted something healthy but I didn't want to just start grabbing vegetables."

"Then you're in luck," he grinned, "I'm somewhat of an expert. Try some blueberries, they're a superfood." He grabbed a package, placing them in his own cart. "They're on me today."

You tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it. You made your way through checkout, paying the rest of your items before meeting back up with the man.

"Thank you," you told him, looking back up at his deep eyes. Pausing for a moment, you realized something. "I don't even know your name! How could I thank you for buying these before me without even learning your name?"

The man chuckled, extending his hand out to you.

"The name's Guy," he said loudly, shaking your hand. "Would it be crazy to ask for your name in return?"

You blushed as you grabbed his hand, his grip firm yet his hands soft.

"Y/n," you told him. He smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." His words did nothing to help calm the blush on your face. You were sure he knew exactly what he was doing to you based on the color of your cheeks alone. Suddenly Guy grew rather sheepish. "I know how this is going to sound, but would you want to come by my place sometime?"

Your eyes widened. After all this time wondering what this man was really like, he was just the type to invite you into bed with him immediately? Admittedly part of you was curious, but you weren't stupid.

"Excuse me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Well I know how that sounds," Guy said quickly, trying to get his words out faster than he could think. "But I just meant to make you dinner. I could show you how to cook some vegetables so that they aren't all that bad."

Immediately you felt bad for assuming the worst, offering him a small smile.

"I would like that."

He smiled back at you. Guy gave you his address as the two of you decided on a time before parting ways. You couldn't help the giddy grin that covered your face as you walked home. Your date couldn't come fast enough.

---

In the days leading up to your date with Guy, it was all you could think about. You told yourself that was fine, since you were obsessing over him already. At least now you had a reason to.

The day was finally here, and as the hours ticked away you found yourself growing more nervous. Deciding what to wear was a challenge in itself. Did you want to try to dress up nicer, or would that be too much? Yet at the same time you worried dressing too casual would give him the idea that you weren't as interested as you were.

You tried on just about everything you owned, settling for a dress that made you feel pretty. It was fancy enough to make you feel like you were trying, but still casual enough that you would be comfortable.

You looked at the clock, seeing that you still had ample time before you needed to leave. Sitting down, your mind wandered. What would tonight be like?

in your mind you ran through a myriad of scenarios. If you didn't like the food he cooked, you would have to just stomach it and hope for the best. Based on what he told you at the store though, it seemed like he would know what he was doing. Still, you worried that something would go wrong.

Above all, there was a bigger question ringing out in your mind. Would he try to kiss you? And, would you want him to?

The seconds turned to minutes as you pondered, the minutes turning into hours until it was time to go. You collected your things, making sure to grab any and all essentials before you left. You had already told your friends who you would be with, going as far as to give them the address should anything go wrong. Guy seemed like such a nice guy, but you could never be too careful.

Locking the door to your apartment behind you, you set off. It was early in the evening, and the sun was just beginning to set in the sky. You were thankful you wouldn't have to walk in the dark. You knew there were plenty of shinobi around, hell, you were even meeting one right now. But even then you felt uncomfortable walking home alone at night, surrounded by darkness.

It was a shorter walk than you anticipated, and before you knew it you were at his place. Taking a deep breath, you reached up to knock on his door. It seemed like a nice enough part of town, and his place itself was well-kept especially considering how much time you were sure he spent on training.

You heard Guy's loud steps make their way to the doorway, pausing on the other side before the door swung open. His usual confident smile was on his face, but instead of moving his mouth into words he just looked at you. You felt yourself growing red under his gaze.

"Hello Guy," you said softly, looking up at him.

-

Guy had been making the same amount of preparations as you, if not even more. He planned the meal out carefully, even practicing it the night before to make sure it went well. He had spent more time than usual perfecting his hair, making sure not a single strand would be out of place. He had even thought of exactly what he wanted to say when he opened the door.

Hello Y/n, he would say as he smiled at you. You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Sure, it was more forward than he had been with you before. This was a date after all, and he wanted to make how he felt about you clear from the start.

That plan went right out the window when he saw you, your sundress captivating him. It looked so cute on you, and at the same time there was something about it that sent a wave of tingles between his legs. To put it simply, he was speechless.

He knew he should say something but he couldn't, enraptured by the way you looked in his doorway.

"Hello Guy," you said to him. That sweet voice of yours would drive him crazy someday, and he knew that. He loved hearing his name fall from your lips, hoping it would be far from the last time. Everything about you made him fall for you more.

Despite his thoughts about your voice, your words were enough to stir him to action himself.

"Hey," he said.

Really Guy? He thought to himself. You're the Blue Beast, a strong shinobi. And yet all you can say to a woman is 'hey'?

You giggled at him, and he felt a smile creep onto his face.

"It's good to see you again," he continued. He decided to dial back the forwardness, realizing he had already kept you waiting outside for too long in his daze. "Come on in."

-

You followed Guy into his home, taking in the delicious aroma filling the rooms.

"I don't know what you're making," you stated, "but it smells amazing."

Guy beamed with pride, ushering you over to the kitchen.

"It's my favorite." He told you. "A spicy, vegetable curry."

Thankfully, you didn't mind spicy. In fact, you enjoyed it. Your mouth watered, taking in the sight and smell of the food in front of you.

"Actually, it should be just about done." Said Guy, stirring it all for a final time before putting it onto beautiful dishes to serve.

He had already set the table, candles and all. He pulled the chair out for you, pushing you back in as if you weighed nothing. He sat across from you, and the way he smiled at you made you weak in the knees. It's a good thing you had already sat down.

You wasted no time, digging in. And it was delicious.

"Oh my god Guy," you said in near disbelief at how good it was. You could see his expression perk up. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he chuckles, eating his own.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. You talked about your job and his, bonding over your love for your respective students.

"Maybe sometime I can come watch one of your training sessions," you mentioned. "I would love to see you teach them."

Guy smiled, "I would love that." The sincerity in his tone took you by surprise. While you knew he was never joking with you, there was always some sort of bravado to his speech that now was missing.

You helped him clean up despite his protests. You told him that if he cooked, you would at least clean up. It was only fair, after all. You scrubbed the dishes, oblivious to the way Guy was looking at you.

He never would have admitted it to anyone but himself, but he was falling in love with you. He had no problem picturing a life with you. Coming up to you at the end of the day, sharing a meal together. He wanted everything that life would bring him.

"Well," you said, finishing up, "I should probably get going."

"Let me walk you," insisted Guy. "A lady such as yourself should never walk alone at night."

He offered his arm to you, and you accepted it with a shy smile. You could feel his prominent muscles under the fabric of his outfit, and you could feel your face growing warmer. You were thankful for the darkness for obscuring your face from him, hoping he couldn't tell.

He could tell.

As the two of you made your way back towards your own apartment he would flex his muscles every so often, loving the way your face would flush. A couple of times he timed it right so that you were speaking, making you stutter.

The walk ended much earlier than either of you would have liked it to. Suddenly your heart started racing. You could answer your questions from earlier clearly.

Would he try to kiss you?

You sure hoped so.

Would you want him to?

Definitely.

You paused in your doorway, letting go of Guy's arm. You looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile.

"I had fun tonight."

He reciprocated your own expression with a smile of his own, "me too."

You both paused for what seemed like the longest second in the world. It was as if he was building up the courage to actually go through with what he wanted to. He cleared his throat.

"Y/n, may I kiss you?"

You nodded your head and he lowered his lips to yours slowly. As you pressed your own lips to his you couldn't help the gasp that escaped them.

That's a sound I'll keep replaying... thought Guy.

He pulled away sooner than you would have liked, but he was a gentleman.

"I'll see you soon." Guy ended his sentence with a wink, sauntering off as you went to go inside.

"I can't wait."