#just yakkin

[lunozapp]

literally just yackkin at the wall here

but how tragic and gutwrenching and heartbreaking would it be if there actually was a good ending to indigo but rambley was slowly dying because how the fuck could a pc/server run that long without maintenance

[drink-tang-gang]

In Tiny Toons Looniversity, Lola Bunny was never intended to be the Acme Looniversity chef at first. According to Ben Siemon, the writer of the episode, “Soufflé Girl Hey”, the show initially planned to have Pepé Le Pew as the chef. This was likely during the development phase and Dave Alverez. They gave him a bio where he now has respect towards women and puts his passion and love towards food instead. He said the idea was turned down because “too much baggage” (probably due to WB’s response of his controversy) and Lola Bunny replaced him. Keep in mind that this was written in 2021 around a time when Space Jam: A New Legacy was huge for the company.

Wow!! Can I please have a link to where you found this info? it'd be really useful! Thanks for letting me know. Reading this, as much as I love Pepe, I think it's better Lola's the chef than him if he was gonna be reintroduced with a (imo, tired) disclaimer. Makes me sad though that Lola's once again not being written in deliberation, it reinforces her whole issue of not rly bein a Tune... just kinda put in stuff n not really considering her character in these decisions (bc well.... she doesn't originally have one. At least, not an authentic one. Looney Tune-y one....)

[coldmilkchoices]

gonna start tagging personal posts as yakkin btw. if u even care

[lurkiestvoid]

*waves from bottom of the pit*

I feel like a lot of the funny people who came here during the reddit exodus have either been banned or just stopped posting and I'm not sure which it is but regardless my dashboard just feels a little sad and empty.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Church Ladies

Jessica Leonard: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the church that hates witches Leonard: so this guy's dad was a lawyer but he gave it all up to be a farmer Leonard: and join a church Leonard: this guy just really loves church

Leonard: this farmer guy is all "hey i love tilling the soil, i'm gonna do that" Ursula Vernon: right right, tilling the soil Vernon: i mean, yeah, you gotta til the soil Vernon: real important part of being a farmer Vernon: probably the most important part

Leonard: so they join this church Leonard: but get this Leonard: it turns out this church Leonard: is disrespectful to women Angela Carter: whoa Leonard: i know, right???

Angela Carter: you're telling me this church doesn't respect womens autonomy? Leonard: no! in fact, they're kinda backwards on that issue Carter: wow Carter: well Carter: i would simply NOT go to that church

Leonard: yeah like this church says women can't be in leadership positions Carter: WOW Carter: well Carter: as a strong independent woman Carter: who is also intelligent Carter: i would not be down with that Patricia Highsmith: yeah i dunno i think they got a point

Carter: oh really patricia? is that so Highsmith: i'm just sayin' Highsmith: you know dames Highsmith: always yak yak yakkin' Highsmith: you want some skirt running a church council? Highsmith: she'll get her damn menses all over the tabernacle

Highsmith: look, i'm just sayin' Highsmith: women ain't there to do heavy thinkin' Highsmith: they're there to make casseroles and look pretty Highsmith: mostly look pretty Highsmith: i mean there ain't nothing like a dame am i right? Carter: Highsmith: the boys know what i'm talkin' about Edward Lee: bro Lee: bro Lee: you're being kinda problematic bro Highsmith: i'm just sayin' what we're all thinkin!

Leonard: so the church ladies are all "we love making casseroles for our men" Leonard: "also i haven't cum in 20 years, i should pray on that" Carter: this is like scary accurate church lady dialogue

Leonard: so the reverend is all "hmm our church ladies are getting too mouthy" Leonard: "what if we sent them to a torture farm for a weekend" Leonard: "ya know, just to scare 'em back in line" Leonard: but that's when these church ladies Leonard: stop making casseroles Leonard: and start getting real

Leonard: so the women are all "man, this church sucks! it hates women and its obsessed with witches" Leonard: "we should, like, join a different church"

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Rent control works

This Saturday (May 20), I’ll be at the GAITHERSBURG Book Festival with my novel Red Team Blues; then on May 22, I’m keynoting Public Knowledge’s Emerging Tech conference in DC.

On May 23, I’ll be in TORONTO for a book launch that’s part of WEPFest, a benefit for the West End Phoenix, onstage with Dave Bidini (The Rheostatics), Ron Diebert (Citizen Lab) and the whistleblower Dr Nancy Olivieri.

David Roth memorably described the job of neoliberal economists as finding “new ways to say ‘actually, your boss is right.’” Not just your boss: for decades, economists have formed a bulwark against seemingly obvious responses to the most painful parts of our daily lives, from wages to education to health to shelter:

https://popula.com/2023/04/30/yakkin-about-chatgpt-with-david-roth/

How can we solve the student debt crisis? Well, we could cancel student debt and regulate the price of education, either directly or through free state college.

How can we solve America’s heath-debt crisis? We could cancel health debt and create Medicare For All.

How can we solve America’s homelessness crisis? We could build houses and let homeless people live in them.

How can we solve America’s wage-stagnation crisis? We could raise the minimum wage and/or create a federal jobs guarantee.

How can we solve America’s workplace abuse crisis? We could allow workers to unionize.

How can we solve America’s price-gouging greedflation crisis? With price controls and/or windfall taxes.

How can we solve America’s inequality crisis? We could tax billionaires.

How can we solve America’s monopoly crisis? We could break up monopolies.

How can we solve America’s traffic crisis? We could build public transit.

How can we solve America’s carbon crisis? We can regulate carbon emissions.

These answers make sense to everyone except neoliberal economists and people in their thrall. Rather than doing the thing we want, neoliberal economists insist we must unleash “markets” to solve the problems, by “creating incentives.” That may sound like a recipe for a small state, but in practice, “creating incentives” often involves building huge bureaucracies to “keep the incentives aligned” (that is, to prevent private firms from ripping off public agencies).

This is how we get “solutions” that fail catastrophically, like:

Public Service Loan Forgiveness instead of debt cancellation and free college:

https://studentloansherpa.com/likely-ineligible/

The gig economy instead of unions and minimum wages:

https://www.newswise.com/articles/research-reveals-majority-of-gig-economy-workers-are-earning-below-minimum-wage

Interest rate hikes instead of price caps and windfall taxes:

https://www.npr.org/2023/05/03/1173371788/the-fed-raises-interest-rates-again-in-what-could-be-its-final-attack-on-inflati

Tax breaks for billionaire philanthropists instead of taxing billionaires:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/10/winners-take-all-modern-philanthropy-means-that-giving-some-away-is-more-important-than-how-you-got-it/

Subsidizing Uber instead of building mass transit:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/cities-turn-uber-instead-buses-trains/

Fraud-riddled carbon trading instead of emissions limits:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/27/voluntary-carbon-market/#trust-me

As infuriating as all of this “actually, your boss is right” nonsense is, the most immediate and continuously frustrating aspect of it is the housing crisis, which has engulfed cities all over the world, to the detriment of nearly everyone.

America led the way on screwing up housing. There were two major New Deal/post-war policies that created broad (but imperfect and racially biased) prosperity in America: housing subsidies and labor unions. Of the two, labor unions were the most broadly inclusive, most available across racial and gender lines, and most engaged with civil rights struggles and other progressive causes.

So America declared war on labor unions and told working people that their only path to intergenerational wealth was to buy a home, wait for it to “appreciate,” and sell it on for a profit. This is a disaster. Without unions to provide countervailing force, every part of American life has worsened, with stagnating wages lagging behind skyrocketing expenses for education, health, retirement, and long-term care. For nearly every homeowner, this means that their “most valuable asset” — the roof over their head — must be liquidated to cover debts. Meanwhile, their kids, burdened with six-figure student debt — will have little or nothing left from the sale of the family home with which to cover a downpayment in a hyperinflated market:

https://gen.medium.com/the-rents-too-damned-high-520f958d5ec5

Meanwhile, rent inflation is screaming ahead of other forms of inflation, burdening working people beyond any ability to pay. Giant Wall Street firms have bought up huge swathes of the country’s housing stock, transforming it into overpriced, undermaintained slums that you can be evicted from at the drop of a hat:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/08/wall-street-landlords/#the-new-slumlords

Transforming housing from a human right to an “asset” was always going to end in a failure to build new housing stock and regulate the rental market. It’s reaching a breaking point. “Superstar cities” like New York and San Francisco have long been priced out of the reach of working people, but now they’re becoming unattainable for double-income, childless, college-educated adults in their prime working years:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/05/15/upshot/migrations-college-super-cities.html

A city that you can’t live in is a failure. A system that can’t provide decent housing is a failure. The “your boss is right, actually” crowd won: we don’t build public housing, we don’t regulate rents, and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Maybe we could try doing things instead of “aligning incentives?”

Like, how about rent control.

God, you can already hear them squealing! “Price controls artificially distort well-functioning markets, resulting in a mismatch between supply and demand and the creation of the dreaded deadweight loss triangle!”

Rent control “causes widespread shortages, leaving would-be renters high and dry while screwing landlords (the road to hell, so says the orthodox economist, is paved with good intentions).”

That’s been the received wisdom for decades, fed to us by Chicago School economists who are so besotted with their own mathematical models that any mismatch between the models’ predictions and the real world is chalked up to errors in the real world, not the models. It’s pure economism: “If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn’t go and look at horses. They’d sit in their studies and say to themselves, ‘What would I do if I were a horse?’”

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/27/economism/#what-would-i-do-if-i-were-a-horse

But, as Mark Paul writes for The American Prospect, rent control works:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/housing/2023-05-16-economists-hate-rent-control/

Rent control doesn’t constrain housing supply:

https://dornsife.usc.edu/pere/rent-matters

At least some of the time, rent control expands housing supply:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9906.2007.00334.x

The real risk of rent control is landlords exploiting badly written laws to kick out tenants and convert their units to condos — that’s not a problem with rent control, it’s a problem with eviction law:

https://web.stanford.edu/~diamondr/DMQ.pdf

Meanwhile, removing rent control doesn’t trigger the predicted increases in housing supply:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0094119006000635

Rent control might create winners (tenants) and losers (landlords), but it certainly doesn’t make everyone worse off — as the neoliberal doctrine insists it must. Instead, tenants who benefit from rent control have extra money in their pockets to spend on groceries, debt service, vacations, and child-care.

Those happier, more prosperous people, in turn, increase the value of their landlords’ properties, by creating happy, prosperous neighborhoods. Rent control means that when people in a neighborhood increase its value, their landlords can’t kick them out and rent to richer people, capturing all the value the old tenants created.

What is life like under rent control? It’s great. You and your family get to stay put until you’re ready to move on, as do your neighbors. Your kids don’t have to change schools and find new friends. Old people aren’t torn away from communities who care for them:

https://ideas.repec.org/a/uwp/landec/v58y1982i1p109-117.html

In Massachusetts, tenants with rent control pay half the rent that their non-rent-controlled neighbors pay:

https://economics.mit.edu/sites/default/files/publications/housing%20market%202014.pdf

Rent control doesn’t just make tenants better off, it makes society better off. Rather than money flowing from a neighborhood to landlords, rent control allows the people in a community to invest it there: opening and patronizing businesses.

Anything that can’t go on forever will eventually stop. As the housing crisis worsens, states are finally bringing back rent control. New York has strengthened rent control for the first time in 40 years:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/12/nyregion/rent-regulation-laws-new-york.html

California has a new statewide rent control law:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/11/business/economy/california-rent-control.html

They’re battling against anti-rent-control state laws pushed by ALEC, the right-wing architects of model legislation banning action on climate change, broadband access, and abortion:

https://www.nmhc.org/research-insight/analysis-and-guidance/rent-control-laws-by-state/

But rent control has broad, democratic support. Strong majorities of likely voters support rent control:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2023/03/07/metro/new-statewide-poll-shows-strong-support-rent-control/

And there’s a kind of rent control that has near unanimous support: the 30-year fixed mortgage. For the 67% of Americans who live in owner-occupied homes, the existence of the federally-backed (and thus federally subsidized) fixed mortgage means that your monthly shelter costs are fixed for life. What’s more, these costs go down the longer you pay them, as mortgage borrowers refinance when interest rates dip.

We have a two-tier system: if you own a home, then the longer you stay put, the cheaper your “rent” gets. If you rent a home, the longer you stay put, the more expensive your home gets over time.

America needs a shit-ton more housing — regular housing for working people. Mr Market doesn’t want to build it, no matter how many “incentives” we dangle. Maybe it’s time we just did stuff instead of building elaborate Rube Goldberg machines in the hopes of luring the market’s animal sentiments into doing it for us.

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/16/mortgages-are-rent-control/#housing-is-a-human-right-not-an-asset

[Image ID: A beautifully laid dining room table in a luxury flat. Outside of the windows looms a rotting shanty town with storm-clouds overhead.]

Image: ozz13x (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Shanty_Town_Hong_Kong_China_March_2013.jpg

Matt Brown (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dining_room_in_Centre_Point_penthouse.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

[rvrend]

" looking out to the congregation, i see many ... tired faces. many of us who'd rather be back in bed, asleep and forgetting about God. so why don't we all just take a day off, relax for once ? kick our feet up, take a nap, laze around. doesn't that sound nice?

" ... NO!!!

" do you think GOD ever takes a day off ? fat chance ! no ... we all haul our sad, pathetic behinds here every sunday for one reason: responsibility. it doesn't matter if you love the Guy, i know there's plenty of things i'd rather be doing than standing here yakkin' to you sad saps ! but we have a responsibility to God to come here every sunday. there's only one place you'll go if you don't go here, and it sure ain't as pretty !

" so whether you come here … " he looks to shapey, " kicking and screaming … so long as it's here, you'll be able to go kicking and screaming right through those pearly gates. amen. "

[trailerparktombombadil]

May 30

I still need to put mulch down in some places and work on my shade garden (it's atrocious as you'll see eventually), but other than that it's nearly sit-back-and-watch-it-grow time.

I'm trying out my mom's 'nice camera' and I wouldn't say I'm great at photography, but nevertheless, here's a photo dump.

My dog, Arwen, and the cat, Minerva/Sparky (1 of 3), enjoyed the rainy day - until Minerva got locked out of the house for a couple hours and preferred the jungle/garden to shelter in rather than under the trailer and got SOAKED. I don't blame her. I want to Honey-I-Shrunk-myself and just retire in my garden. The Russian sage and the amaranths look like they could be forest dwellings in a fantasy world. Ugh I love those amaranths. I do not regret planting them last year, not one tiny bit.

Okay enough yakkin'.

[newtypezaku]

Sis is just yakkin some deculture, as you do

[carmelasopranono1defenseattorney]

i really like how much of this episode is dedicated to jun just flirting with this random woman i hope it made the "less yakkin more whackin" people furious

[drink-tang-gang]

do u have any thoughts about tiny toons looniversity?

It was fine! I grew up liking animaniacs more than tiny toons (personally, I thought them the more apt successors to the tunes compared to tiny toons, but that thought blurb is for another day). Whenever I watched tt I was more focused on the lt cameos.

So it’s funny that I had a better time with looniversity than the animaniacs reboot! I definitely enjoyed the slapstick. I also loved the introduction of VERY creative toon lore and had a blast seeing it incorporated into the show. laughter literally as the backbone of the endurance of toon dna? How some toons are drawn with a bounceback deficiency (because not all cartoons are funny?) brilliant.

I still disagree with the babs and buster sibling arrangement. It created cliched problems in the show that the core of their characters had no issues with in the original… such as babs and buster learning to develop themselves outside the tight bond they have?? like in tiny toons, they were a duo through n through (so much they had to remind the audience there was no relation) yet they had no issue doing their own thing with their friends. it’s just a weird problem to create to me, and tiresome for twin archetypes. I joked with some friends that the decision was made so that there’d be room for the inevitable buster/plucky homoerotic rivalry and??? Honest to god dead of ass I was joking but the damn show coined their ship name by like. episode two. 🤣 they blow kisses at each other and then say they hate each other n everything. It’s like they’re trying to be giving baffy but baffy is so much funnier and spicier that I really don’t care for whatever thing they wanna tease in the future (because we all know Jokes is as far as they can legally go) with those two😭

haha, tangent aside I liked looniversity because of the creative location and use of both tunes and tiny toons. I could tell the crew had so much fun with Granny, she stole the spotlight for me whenever she appeared on screen. There’s so much respect and love for the cast in this show, it’s great! Some jokes didn’t land, of course, but they didn’t fall so hard to where it interrupted the flow of the story. More like little hiccups. I wasn’t too hot about some episodes being tweened (different studios for different episodes I suppose?) and the quality of anim imo, suffered. I probably won’t binge the next batch and watch episodes as I feel like watchin em :D

[coldmilkchoices]

is it some sort of unspoken law of the universe that the most active ppl in the groupme are the ones who care the least

[potatoes-tomatoes]

I have covid 😔I was supposed to go to Six Flags to see the boys this saturday 😭 noooo

[megaweapon]

Okay, so, I’m just gonna stick my thoughts/predictions about Forsaken up here before the expansion comes out. I’ve had access to some spoilers, so proceed with caution:

1. On Cayde, I’m not really super happy with the killing-off. The main reason I don’t really like it is the reason I’ve seen people bringing up in its favor: they’re killing off one of their characters with the most personality for the sake of getting an emotional reaction. This can be well-done when it’s earned, but I really don’t feel like it’s earned, here—and the fact that it’s so blatantly obvious that this is what they’re doing, to the point where everyone and their brother has pointed it out, just laid the mechanisms of the storytelling bare, doesn’t necessarily make it a good thing.

That said, it’s not a deal breaker, just kind of irritating.

2. The Fallen, I’m so, so glad we’re finally getting to work with the eliksni in this expansion in some capacity. I’ve really liked what I’ve seen of Spider, and I really hope we at some point get insight into just how deeply the eliksni do (or don’t) resent Uldren reanimating eliksni corpses into his own personal army. There was a very good moment in one of the Grimoire entries where Variks was appalled at what the House of Devils had done to their Prime, and I’d love to see another moment like that. And on that subject...

3. Variks is what has me most worried, and honestly for mostly personal reasons. That’s my boy. He had some of the most interesting Grimoire entries, and I always liked the way he and Petra played off one another. Thankfully, it’s confirmed that the strike boss in the Warden of Nothing isn’t him, it’s the actual Warden gone berserk, which is a huge relief. I mainly just don’t want to see him change sides (because that doesn’t make sense) or die (because I feel like there’s much more of a story to tell with him). Even a small nod in the game saying “he’s out there somewhere, and okay” would be satisfactory.

4. As for Petra, I’m hoping that the DLC focuses as much on her as it has been said that it will, because like Variks, there are so many more interesting stories just waiting in that character: dealing with the chaos of Uldren’s betrayal, making a deal with what seems to be an eliksni crime lord, and paling around with a Guardian.

Miscellaneous things I’m interested in: it’s basically been confirmed that the Ahamkara will play into this (!!!), Uldren Why the Dick Are You Looking so Taken For, will our guardian have more lines than the one promising revenge, can we finally get some decent looking pants for Hunters, please, all the pants are so ugly, and honestly, what about the Nine? I don’t think any mention has been made of the Nine yet, but all of this stuff is going down in basically their territory so... I’m kind of hoping we get some hints about why they are and what they’re up to.

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| Reception ||

Pairing: Frank Castle x f! Reader

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: meet cute, fluff, smut, a dog, and be careful - you might fall in love.

A/n: I can't with this man. He has my heart and soul. Dogs 4 Eva.

"Bride or groom?"

The husky voice from over your shoulder at the bar makes you spin around, and you were suddenly face to face with someone you'd only ever seen in the news. Oh how different he appears standing mere feet away from you, and to use a clichéd phrase he did indeed scrub up well.

For starters he was wearing a suit and tie, and an immaculately tailored one at that, mid blue with a waistcoat and everything. His hair was a little less severe than you'd seen it before, maybe a little longer and you noticed it held a slight wave at the top of his head. His eyes were so far from the black pools they seemed on screen or in the mugshots, instead a warm and inviting honey brown gaze met yours. And then that strong boxers nose that had obviously been broken more times than he could count, you couldn't help thinking it was cute.

"Bride," you replied with a smile, still taking in the sheer mass of man and reputation in front of you. "I've known Marci since school."

He nodded, his lips curling a little. "another lawyer then, guess I shouldn't be surprised."

You laugh knowing the two of you are likely the only ones at the reception that aren't in the legal business. "veterinarian actually, we've just kept in touch over the years." You gave him your name. "You with the groom then?"

"Kinda. Friend of a friend. You know Karen, right? I'm Frank." He reaches out his hand to you. "Castle."

"I know, you're somewhat famous round these parts." You smiled, taking his offered hand to shake as he dipped his head slightly in embarrassment. "Hi Frank, it's nice to meet you."

"So uh, you know all about me then."

You shrugged, "only what matters, mostly what Foggy has told Marci has told me."

Frank nodded. "So... the good stuff, huh?"

"Just the truth?" You answer.

"And that don't make you wanna run for the hills?"

You laugh, and Frank decides there and then he wanted to hear more of that sound.

"Well, only if you don't buy me a drink. You were gonna buy me a drink right?"

Frank chuckles, "uh yeah, yeah I was. What can I get you?".

~

"I don't really get out much socially, so this is nice." You tell him, nibbling on the cherry in your cocktail.

He takes a sip of his beer. "Yeah, Karen keeps tellin' me I need to 'extend my social circle', so I guess I'm 'extending', or somethin'."

Your musical laugh hits his ears again and he grins. "So a vet huh?" He asks, raising his brows.

You take a sip of your drink and nod. "yeah, I've got my own practice, and a couple of days a week I work at a charity for people who can't afford to pay for treatment for their pets."

"That's, wow... that's really amazing. I've got a dog, rescue pittie. He's my best buddy."

"Aww no way? What's his name?"

He smiles warmly, "Benji."

~

The party was starting to wind down, Marci and Foggy both wailing drunkenly on the karaoke machine with Matt desperately trying to wean them off it. You both realise you'd been talking for hours.

"Wow, it's so late! Urgh, I kinda hate that I've gotta work later this morning but I guess I should head home and get at least a few hours sleep."

Frank nods. "Yeah, hope you're not sufferin' from all my yakkin."

"No! I've had a really nice time. Actually I uh, better give you my number... in case your dog ever needs me I mean." You felt your face heat up as Frank smiled and fished his phone out his pocket giving it to you to put your number in. You gave it a quick ring so you had his.

"Thanks, maybe we could meet up for coffee or somethin'?" He suggests hopefully.

You nodded, "yeah, that would be great. Gimme a call midweek? Should know when I've got some free time then."

"You got it."

'Goodnight Frank," you call over your shoulder as you make your way towards Marci and Foggy to say goodbye.

"G'night sweetheart."

You grinned to yourself as your stomach flipped at the endearment. You weren't normally one for pet names but there was something about Frank saying it that made it acceptable and you liked it. He wasn't at all what you were expected and that was more than okay.

~

Three days later your phone buzzes on the table, Frank's name showing on the display, which you're a little surprised by at 11.30pm.

"Frank, hi?"

"Hey, I uh, I'm really sorry to call so late but it's my dog, I think he's stood on a broken bottle when we were out, his paw's cut up real bad, I dunno if I got all the glass out, it's bleeding a lot...I didn't know what else to do this time of night, had your number and-"

"Of course! it's ok. If you can loosely wrap his paw with some clean cloth, I'll text you my address, I've got an emergency kit here just come over as soon as possible and I'll take a look."

You get your kit ready and when the doorbell went you buzzed Frank up and waited out on the landing for him and your new patient.

"Shit, you weren't kidding about the bleeding!" you exclaimed, taking in Frank's hands and arms covered in red but no dog to be seen. "Where is he? In the car?" As Frank came up the last of the stairs and under the light you could see his face was cut, his lip bust open and bleeding, and even more blood soaking his jeans.

"Frank what the hell..."

"I need your help..."

You were slightly taken aback by his appearance but your wits returned quickly and you usher him into your apartment before any of your neighbors decided to get nosy. "C'mon, come in and tell me what the hell is going on."

As you follow him inside you see he's limping slightly, the back of his jeans damp with more blood. This was much more the Frank you had expected at the reception. "You look like you need a hospital, what happened?"

"Nah, no hospitals. Too many questions, and that ain't good right now. Can I..?" He gestures at the sink to clean his hands.

"Yeah, sure," you cock your head at him, eyes narrowing. "But I have some questions too -"

Frank nodded. "I got shot."

Your eyes widen. "The fuck-?"

He leans up against the counter. "It ain't as bad as it looks, normally I'd pull the bullet and stitch myself up but...uh, I can't see to reach it. It's in the side of my ass. I could really use your help, please."

You roll your eyes. "I'm a vet Frank, not a human doctor."

"I know, I know. It ain't too much, just need another pair of hands and eyes is all. Maybe some hard liquor..."

"Christ. Okay." You grabbed your kit and got him to follow you into the bathroom. "Alright, um, obviously you'll need to pull your pants down so..."

Frank nodded and unbuckled his belt as you look around anywhere but at him. He huffed as he slid his jeans and boxers down a little way to the tops of his thighs. "You see it?"

You snort taking in the trail of red dripping down from the gunshot wound in his right cheek. "Little hard not to, yeah. Ouch. Okay let's get it cleaned up first. Who the hell shot you in the butt anyway?"

Frank leaned on the sink and winced as you wiped over the bullet wound with disinfectant so you could see what you were doing.

"A gang of assholes who thought they were gonna get away with mugging a girl. They're regrettin' their life choices now but one of em managed to tag me before I got him."

You pick up a pair of forceps. "Okay that's worth an ass-bullet if anything is. Was she alright?"

Frank grunts as you start digging around for the metal. "Yeah. Bit shaken but fine. Took her to the cops and told her to report it."

"Bet she was glad you were in the area. I know I'd sure feel safer."

He catches your eyes for a second and bows his head. You quickly swing your gaze back to what you were doing.

"Okay, I've got a hold of it, gonna pull it out now alright? I'm sorry, I know its gonna hurt."

Frank grit his teeth. "Yeah just do it. Fuck!"

You yank it out and drop it in the wastepaper basket, pushing some gauze firm against the wound.

"Hold this and keep pressure on it." You tell him before disappearing into the kitchen. You return with a 3/4 full bottle of Macallan and pass it to him.

"Thanks." He says after taking a huge swig.

"Right, just a few stitches and we're good."

You quickly sew up the wound, cleaning and securing a dressing over it. Then you checked over his other cuts and bruising which thankfully didn't need much attention aside from a quick clean.

"You can pull your pants back up." You tell him, turning away again as he did.

"So do you even have a dog, Frank?"

"I do. He's fine, he's at home. I'm really sorry I lied to ya, wasn't sure if you'd freak if I laid the whole story on you on the phone."

"Well, I admit it's not the weirdest thing that's ever happened, and at least I got to see your ass."

"Yeah, sorry bout that too..."

You chuckle. "Thought it would be under slightly different circumstances but hey."

Frank's lips quirk. "Only slightly different huh? Well thanks. I mean, shit, I really can't thank you enough."

"If you wanna thank me maybe you can buy me lunch sometime soon?"

"You mean you're not done with me, after all this?"

You shook your head. "I'm a firm believer in second chances, I've helped a lot of waifs and strays over the years "

"S'that you sayin' I'm a dog sweetheart?" The swagger in his tone made your stomach flip.

"Mmm, you're a dog, but you're not in the doghouse." You grinned, starting to wipe down the sink.

Frank chuckled, "well I gotta be grateful you're so understanding. Not many people as forgiving as you out here. I'll get outta your hair... but you sure I can't at least help you clean up?"

"Nah don't worry, just take it easy and rest for the next few days huh? You free Saturday?"

"Uh yeah," he replies, making his way to your door. "How bout I bring Ben along with me?"

"Of course, that would be great!

"Listen, thanks for doin' this and I'm real sorry I lied to you. Won't happen again. Promise."

"I know." You waved him off watching him limp down the stairs. "See ya Saturday Frank."

"Seeya."

You were so busy that Saturday swung around in no time and although you were exhausted you felt on a high as you walked to meet Frank at the dog park. His face lit up when he saw you coming and you very quickly got acquainted with Benji playing with him, throwing the ball as you and Frank talked and joked with all the ease of the night you met. Frank wasn't limping anymore which you were glad about, but he put it down to your 'expert ass surgery' which you folded over with laughter at. He took you to a gorgeous deli and you got your favourite sandwich as well as some pastries and drinks, and sat down under the shade of a huge tree in the nearby park for an impromptu picnic, sharing bits of cheese from your lunch with Ben.

"If he wasn't sure about you before, he definitely likes you now." Frank had said, rubbing Benji's ears affectionately.

You could say the same for you and Frank. You really enjoyed spending time with him.

You were both absolutely stuffed after lunch, Frank sitting up against the trunk of the tree watching you roll around on the grass with Benji. He loved how easy it was to just hang out with you. Even before the whole bullet thing but maybe that had helped somehow. You didn't seem to be afraid of much. He buckled seeing you mimicking Ben scratching his back on the grass and his mind was made up.

"Can I take you to dinner?"

You stopped and sat up, shaking the grass out of your hair at the same time Benji shook it out of his fur.

"You can. But I won't be able to go out until Friday next week, that okay?"

Frank scrunches up his nose like you'd wounded him. "Jeez, almost a week till I can seeya again? I dunno..."

You smirk, "sorry, just really busy this week. You a limited time only deal or something Castle?"

He was quick to dismiss that even though you were joking back at him. "Nah, course not, I just... my dog's just bonded with you so good and, I think he'd miss ya is all "

You saw the tips of his ears redden. Never in a million years would you have thought you'd see Frank Castle blush, and because of you?! But you weren't so cruel as to make something of it so you played along, and truth be told you already couldn't wait to see him again either.

You grin. "Well, I'll miss him too. You can always call me and I'll speak to him? Text me some pup-dates? It'd keep me going through the week for sure."

Frank ruffles Benji's fur, "I'm sure he'd like that." He looks up at you and you return his shy smile, practically melting inside at his softness.

Your first text from Frank pinged on Monday morning just as you got into work. When you opened the message you were greeted with a photo of a very happy looking Benji.

Benji hopes you have a great day at work.

You smiled, replying:

That's very sweet and thoughtful of him, thank you! 😊

On Wednesday afternoon you took a selfie of you with Rowan, a scruffy mixed breed and one if your regular senior dogs who was in for his check-up.

Hope Benji's not the jealous type, been spending a lot of time with this old man today!

The response had you feeling warm.

He's in good hands 😊

On Thursday late morning Frank sent you a photo of a sleeping Benji, presumably on his bed. The only part of Frank visible was his bare arm curled around him.

The bros are getting a lie-in today, you jealous now? 💤 Sorry 🙂

Very! Benji looks so cute and peaceful, but where's the big dawg at?

A few minutes later he replied with another photo. You allowed yourself an inner squeal as this time he had included himself in it, hair looking adorably soft and disheveled by sleep, his half-lidded eyes looking at the camera and even although the covers were pulled up it was obvious he was, at the very least, topless.

You texted back before you could overthink it too much.

Aw he's cute too!

He replied with smile emoji and you returned to work. The muscles in his arms had definitely given you something to think about and you had a bit of a hard time reigning your concentration back in for the rest of the day. Thankfully it wasn't too hectic.

You called him after work to tell him you'd picked a place to eat, a cosy Indian restaurant that Karen had recommended to you, and that he could come to yours to pick you up tomorrow night at seven. Even though you'd hung out casually already, this 'date' was getting you nervously excited.

Frank was feeling same way. You'd said it wasn't anything fancy so he'd thrown on a black shirt with jeans hoping he looked okay. When he buzzed and you came down he was staring at you like you were chocolate cake.

You grin as you greet him. "Hi! Everything okay?"

He swallows and nods, you can see the nerves on his face.

"Yeah, you just... you look real pretty is all, feelin' like I'm lucky."

You dip your head and take his arm. "Thank you, you're not the only one!"

As you walked to the restaurant you had a sudden thought.

"Benji's not gonna be all alone tonight is he?"

"Nah he's with Karen, his favourite dog sitter. She gives him way too many treats." He grumbles with a slight smile.

"Ahh, I was just worried, y'know just in case it's a late night."

Frank raised his brows. "Oh? Well you ain't got nothin' to worry about sweetheart."

The restaurant was gorgeous, full of multicoloured pepper fairy lights draped all around. The food was absolutely delicious and you ordered a couple of different things and had way too much fun feeding them to each other. After polishing off a bottle of house red, you realise you're staring across the table at Frank like he's dessert.

"I uh, guess we should get the bill..."

Those warm brown eyes are looking right back into yours and he's stroking over your hand. "Yeah..."

You try unsuccessfully to pay for both of you but he insists it's on him. It's only right he says, gentlemanly. But he assures you he's totally a feminist and knows you're a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a guy to buy her dinner and you just laugh, falling against him.

"Walk me home?" You ask him when you're standing outside in the slightly chill night. He offers you his arm.

"I was just thinking," you say as you reach your door, "about how I've had such a great time with you the past couple of weeks..."

"Yeah," Frank agreed, "me too."

"And uh," you fiddled with your keyring. "I was thinking that I really like you..."

"Oh yeah? S'funny cos I was thinkin that too."

You stepped in ever so slightly closer and you could almost feel the heat of him.

"You know what else I was thinking?"

Frank cleared his throat, his eyes looking right into your soul. He'd been a gentleman all evening, so considerate and patient with you, not trying to rush anything which you wholly appreciated, but the tension and heat that had been building between you the whole night was becoming too much to bear. You were yearning for him to take control and just take you. There was no doubt that he wanted it too.

"Frank, If you don't kiss me I'm gonna-"

His mouth was on you before you could think of a threat. He was kissing you slow, but god so firm and sure and you felt your toes curling in your shoes as you both stood there entangled in the street outside your apartment building.

When he eventually stopped you were breathless. He gazed at you, his thumb running lightly along your jaw as he still held your face.

"You're gonna what, sweet girl?"

You laughed and he chuckled along with you. "I dunno exactly, I was just hoping you would do it and I wouldn't have to think of a real threat!"

"Was that okay?" He asks.

"Yeah." You breathed out in a sigh. "Come upstairs?"

Frank planted a gentle kiss on your forehead. "If you're sure you want..."

You grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door quickly turning your key in the lock.

"I want."

You barely make it to the top of the stairs, halting on the way up with frantic touches while you explore each other, but now you're kissing him up against your door. His hands are up around your face, curled around your neck, weaving through your hair, but you knew he was letting you take the lead, controlling how far you want this to go, but all you crave and need is for him to touch you, to consume you. You grab his hand, pushing it down to clamp firmly against your ass hoping he'll get the message that you want this, you want him.

He tentatively squeezes and as you moan into his mouth he deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping between your lips and meeting yours messily as you grasp and pull at his chest and shirt trying to get even closer. You fumble with your keys unable to focus as you can't keep your mouths off each other. He eventually takes them from you, hoisting you up by the ass to wrap your legs around his hips as he manages to open the door and carry you inside. He pushes you up against the back of the door as it slammed shut, letting you down slowly as he kisses and nips at your neck with a hunger that feels like it comes from deep in his bones. Your body arches against his as his hands are on you again, skimming down your chest and stomach and pushing the fabric of your dress hard up at the apex of your thighs making you keen.

"Frank, please..." You beg.

"Yeah?" he holds his hand there still, waiting for your consent to keep going, you can feel the heat of it against your core.

"Yeah... Frank, just touch me, please." you breathe shakily against him as he quickly hooks his hand under the hem of your dress, tracing his fingers over the damp fabric of your underwear. He kisses you, at the same time dipping his hand into the front of your panties and finding just how wet you are for him.

"God...damn." He curses, drawing your slick arousal up and over as he starts circling his fingers against your clit. You moan high and desperate, letting your legs spread wider to give him better access as the tension inside you is stretched so thin like an elastic band ready to snap at any moment, so turned on that you know you weren't going to last long. He watches you, drinks you in as he easily works you closer to your climax, your legs shaking as you pant against his neck. You palm the front of his jeans, squeezing the delicious thickness of his cock in your hand drawing a deep groan from him that sets you right on the edge.

"Ohh... oh Frank I'm gonna c-come-"

"Yeah sweetheart, I got you..."

He never takes his eyes off you as he curls his thick fingers into your wet heat, thumb pushing against your clit and you're gone, whimpering and grinding as your cunt pulses around him, rolling waves of pleasure coursing through your entire body. Your mouth hangs open and he catches your bottom lip in his teeth, sucking gently.

"Shit... that was..." you gasp against him.

The way he grins, licking your juices from his fingers as if it was ambrosia when he pulls away, you almost jump him right there. Instead you manage to keep it together enough to guide him to your bedroom, wrenching his shirt off on the way, smoothing your hands over the scars old and new that mark the broad muscled expanse of his bare chest. You tug him along with impatience, unzipping your dress and letting it drop to the floor, flinging anything in your way to one side before pulling him down onto the mattress over you. "Beautiful." He murmurs, taking the view of you in as he cages you beneath him before kissing his way down your neck, his mouth warm and wet across your collarbones and the tops of your breasts. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair, arching off the bed as he makes his way down your body, pulling down the cups of your bra to lick and suck at your nipples. You moan and writhe and then can't help giggling as he trails his tongue down your stomach, swirling around your navel and lower towards the waistband of your panties. He hooks his fingers over the top and pulls them down your legs as you wriggle to try and help him get them off.

"Baby you taste so sweet, I gotta have more..." he rasps, and you nod vigorously, your heart skips a beat at the way he gently presses your thighs apart, reverently kissing his way to your centre as he hikes your knees up and then,

...oh god.

He laps his tongue slow and sure over your clit, swirling and sucking it into a kiss before plunging it inside you. You shudder at the sensitivity, the hot scratch of his stubble on your skin, gasping as the deep groan he lets out vibrates right through you as the taste of you fills his senses. You can't stop your hips from bucking up into his mouth as he works it over you humming with satisfaction. Huge strong arms curl around your thighs, fingers pressing indents into your soft flesh as he holds you firm, taking what he wants and giving you exactly what you need. His nose nudges against your clit over and over and the way you respond with a whimper and the tightening of your thighs around his head is all the encouragement Frank needs to keep going.

"Good girl," He growls out between swirling the tip of his tongue around that little bundle of nerves. His hand slides up your body to massage and squeeze your breasts, "such a good girl..."

His praise pushes you over the edge, your eyes flutter shut, head tilting back, fingers gripping for his shoulders and your back bowing up off the bed as it hits you. You bury your fingers in his hair, the desperation in your pleas as you come undone going straight to Frank's cock.

You moan long and loud, grinding against his mouth, your pussy clenching as you want nothing more than to have him inside you filling you up. "Frank, I want you... I wanna feel you..."

He licks up everything you have to give and no sooner than the aftershocks of your orgasm start to subside, Frank is up off the bed, whipping off his belt and pushing down his pants and boxers. You watch, practically drooling as you get your first look at him naked, rolling on the condom he snatched out of his back pocket and holy hell he's everything you've fantasised during all your lonely nights. He crawls up your body, hand softly trailing up your leg, hip, and caressing over the swell of your breast to finally settle at your neck, lightly stroking as he looks down at you. He's waiting for permission, but you can see it in his eyes and the tautness of his body that he wants you just as badly as you want him. He sucks in a sharp breath as your fingers close lightly around the hard shaft of his cock, sliding the tip of him through your arousal. You guide him inside you, eyes never leaving his, lips parted and quivering with the breath you exhale as he stretches you blissfully open. When he's fully sheathed deep within you wrap your legs around him, immediately addicted to the sound he makes and the sheer haze of sensation that burns through you as he starts to move. The urgency has faded now that you've reached this point - this slow dance where the rest of the world fades into the background and it's just the two of you. He noses your cheek and you smile, sharing a little huff of breath as he reflects it back at you. As you close your eyes lost in the sensation of each long drag of his cock he catches your lips in his. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it makes the heat within you burn even brighter and hotter.

He coaxes a soft sigh from you as he takes his time, his hips moving back and forth slow and steady. You're torn between chasing the inevitable fireworks and wanting this feeling to last forever. Your hands flow over the shifting muscles of his back and furrow in his hair as his lips trail up the side of your neck and under your jaw. His hand grips your thigh firmly pushing it up higher and you gasp as his thrusts hit even deeper.

"So good sweetheart, so fuckin' good.."

You can only moan your agreement, pulling his lips to yours again and holding him tightly as he's pushing you closer to your edge yet again.

You pull at his arm urging him to roll you both over and he does, taking in how gorgeous you look, how fucking lucky he is as you start moving your hips and riding him. You're looking at him too, with such passion. This supposed fearsome beast of a man you had under you, now looking up at you so adoringly. Wanting you. Needing you.

"God..." He groans, seeing you rise and fall on his cock like that. "what did I do to deserve you?"

You smile against his lips. "You talked to me," you replied, kissing the corner of mouth while you rock your hips, his hands settling there and stroking your skin. "and you like animals.... mm, and you make me laugh,"

"I do." Frank nods, his hands sliding up you back and pressing you closer.

"And oh, you make me feel good."

Frank catches your lips in his, kissing you deeply. "Issat right?"

You hum, nodding slow as you luxuriate in the delicious drag of his cock. When you reach your fingertips down to your clit his entire body jolts with a grunt.

"Yeah, Frank, feels real good..."

Breath and moans mingle and rise, both of you quickly nearing the peak of your pleasure. You feel the rumble of his groan right through you as you rake your nails over his back.

He meets your movements with his hips and your eyes flutter shut as he caresses your breasts. He can't stop staring, the way your eyelashes kiss against your skin, the soft undulation of your body over his, the perfect 'o' your mouth forms as you start to orgasm...

Then your eyes snap open and you're gazing back at him, basking in the unguarded expression of utter bliss blanketing his features. He's split wide open for you, nothing hidden, not since the bullet. He wants to give you everything but you think you'll be happy with just him.

You shower kisses all over his face as he pulses inside you, grasping and holding onto each other until you can't move anymore.

Afterwards, he cuddles you up in his arms under the covers, kissing you so soft and sweet on the forehead. "Think you'd wanna keep digging bullets outta me darlin'?

"You bump his nose with yours. "Think I just might Castle, as long as you don't mind me stealin' your dog?"

He smiles. "Well I don't think he'd mind one bit."

"Okay," you say, curling your pinky finger around his, "it's a deal."

Frank tags @sweetieswiftie @pedrito-friskito @saintmurd0ck @freshabogados @mindidjarin @peterman-spideyparker @castlesnchurches @mattmurdockspainkink @father4giveme @honeyedheartss @nice-work-bonedaddy @tea-and-wine @hellskitchenswhore @phoebe-danvers @grippingbeskar