#just use every ref possible....all of em................

[emosyzoth]

Bro how do you draw muscles so well teach me your ways

IDDKK idk how to explain it rlyyy. i started out taking refs and trying to simplify the shape to the best of my ability without defining too much. it usually comes down to just a few simple lines w curvs here and there, exaggerating the curves if wanted(usually when the muscle is flexed) and yeah.

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[celestialmancer]

Mm.

Therapy has been. Interesting.

Bit more of a sensitive discussion so def tbd but yeah ;; (‘s not meant to be negative but like. Considering content well)

Been ruminating a bit, I guess, on something that we talked about, & its in particular this whole… element of just…

I guess at some point my therapist was talking to me about what I would do if I were to ever cross paths with M again, because I did acknowledge openly to her that I do in some way always have that sort of fear in the back of my head of his return—which, yeah, it is irrational considering its been 11+ years now since all that shit went down but… I mean, its part of why every now & then I admittedly will look back on the fucking twitter accounts that he used to have that are now. Well, dead & everything that was on em (which wasn’t much to begin with aside from… things I don’t wanna say on this blog) being wiped. Save for one indirect rt that was meant to be in ref to me that still makes my skin crawl to see, ig.

…& Well… I p much just told her straight up that I wouldn’t even let him talk to me. & Even if I did, the only thing that would happen is pure vitriol, pure unrestrained violence, I guess. Verbal I suppose since no way we’d cross paths irl, & hope to the heavens above it forever remains that way that there’s no way of reaching me irl… unlike how he almost did all those years ago? Yeah. I guess there’s an acknowledgment that beneath all the hurt there’s this INTENSE fury, anger, & I guess wish I could have fought back better or something. I don’t know.

Granted, there’s another sort of reaction i feel i would have if i crossed paths w him again but like—its. More. Morbid.

…& We also. Got into talk about the possibility of me potentially going out of my way to get ig some sort of assistance legally or w/e, to see if by any chance, he ever did happen to… post… things that I don’t wanna really say bc tw content (though, if you catch on to what i might be avoiding directly stating, well… ) but, yeah. & i’ve just been I guess mulling on that, dwelling on it.

…But realistically I think I’m better off not knowing. What he did with what he had of me before I got away. I’d rather not. Know. What corner of the internet that stuff was posted, I don’t think I’d be able to be fine if I ever did find out. Sure, it eats at me tot hink that that’s out there, because I know he’s the type to have gone forward with it & just it being without my awareness once I severed that line… but what can you do right?

Idk. Probably strange to say but i guess i find more closure in just… accepting that it probs is out there, not looking for it, & instead moving forward & healing what I can after all that. ‘S what I’ve tried doing & still am doing to this day, now that I excavated those memories & have to work through them after a literal decade of running from it all, but… I guess, at least, its getting easier in a way to talk about despite the hurt? Idk.

We still have more sessions to go surrounding the topic of M, & more graphic stuff to cover bc we still are only scratching the surface of the… more disgusting details of all that, & I know none of these upcoming sessions are going to be easy. It’s been really taxing mentally & ik im still kinda outta it from yesterday’s session esp bc at the start of it it was hard to tap into that headspace of revisiting all that, but—gotta keep it pushing I suppose.

We’ll… get through this.

& I guess amidst this, working on stuff certain characters in writing (esp a certain one whose based in my own trauma in a way) has also been a means of ig finding catharsis. Having em meet their own downfalls or w/e or having ppl rally against em or so on while also them liking my writing/expressing support w my writing & such has helped? With sort of revisiting this all… Which honestly holds a lot of personal weight to me that ive been met w that rather than being shunned over the exploration of this shit so, yeah…

[punkscowardschampions]

Casey & Janis Pt.1

Casey: [Has just woken up clearly because that tracks if you’re planning to work tonight for the first time in an age]

Casey: Afternoon

Janis: Alright, dosser

Casey: get it in while you can, like

Janis: 😏

Janis: You excited to not be climbing the walls no more then?

Casey: not been all bad, was alright when you’re about to chuck up against them walls

Janis: Come on, my aim has always been better than that

Casey: if you say so, mate

Janis: oi, to say nothing about my ability to hold it which gets better every customer who wants to book in at 8.00

Casey: less said about that the better, yeah

Janis: gotta pay the landlord’s bills somehow, ain’t we

Casey: they’re a pisstake, won’t be keeping my mouth shut on that one

Janis: yeah, wouldn’t exactly be devastated if we were trashing this dump some more

Casey: hang on to that thought, my love

Janis: it’s more interesting than whatever the girls are 💬

Casey: be me gutted if it weren’t

Janis: alright so the competition is non-existent

Janis: had to leave you sleeping this morning though 🥺

Casey: you don’t ever have to, no competition there neither

Janis: what sort of dickhead if I didn’t let you catch up on your sleep properly?

Casey: what sort am I if you reckon I need it or owt else more than you

Janis: One of us has to behave for the both of us, it’s basically the rules

Casey: the rule is you behave for me how I want, last I heard

Janis: I already missed you, that was just mean

Casey: come here and stop missing me then

Janis: right now

Casey: I’ll give you the count of 10, so you can’t call us mean again how I can tell you wanna

Janis: I wanna call you a lot of things, mean might be one of ‘em

Casey: right now’s your chance, before half the lasses out in this town are chatting away in my ear

Janis: you ain’t missed it?

Casey: only the tips that come with it

Janis: talkings all you have to do now, all you better do

Casey: got a family to feed instead of an ego, don’t worry

Janis: I’m not worried

Janis: I want you to like it better than your last job though

Casey: I’ll be grand, as they say at every job round here

Janis: you could do it in your sleep

Janis: I’ll just miss you in mine

Casey: I ain’t the sort of dickhead who won’t keep you from yours

Casey: stay up with me

Janis: yeah?

Janis: you’ll have to keep me entertained because I can’t rely on getting wasted to make anyone else there interesting

Casey: you don’t need to bother about the state of nobody else, off the clock, you

Casey: even if some twat slips and falls and ends up doing their back in

Janis: You’re the one that’ll be distracted

Casey: I could do it blindfolded an’ all if that’s how you fancy distracting us

Janis: nah, you better see me in my dresses before I’m too big for ‘em

Casey: ‘cause the idea of you being out of them is such a shame, is it?

Janis: wait and 👀 what you reckon

Casey: there’s no need to wait to reckon I’ll be fuming or gutted when that day comes

Janis: I’m fuming I still have more clients to see before I can leave here

Casey: let on to the first how fuming you are and the rest might piss off

Casey: unlikely they’ve all of them the same kink

Janis: s’all fun and games ‘til they can’t kick the ball no more 💔

Casey: can’t kick it as is without a lie down in front of the ref

Janis: 🏆 winning dramatics

Casey: I could top it easy if you don’t leave

Janis: your 🥺 is something else

Casey: [send her a pic where you and Chubby are both doing it together side by side]

Janis: that’s no fair

Janis: baby

Casey: what’s no fair is how much us lads miss you girls

Janis: we definitely miss you more

Casey: I’ll show you you don’t

Janis: it’s not possible, soz

Janis: good thing I don’t need to listen to anyone here ‘cos nothings registering 

Casey: come home and I’ll prove the impossible for you

Janis: you gonna earn ALL the tips tonight, yeah?

Casey: I’m cutting your earnings short, be rude if I didn’t

Janis: fuck it, I can reschedule

Casey: this is an emergency, they’d get it if you said

Janis: if they’re lucky, they might at least get a fraction of it

Casey: and of your attention if you reschedule, depending when for

Janis: no one but you gets more than that these days

Casey: it’s mutual, don’t matter how this new job goes

Janis: be more than a bit pathetic if I was worried otherwise

Janis: they weren’t competition when you were actually fucking them

Casey: you can remind as many as you feel you have to

Janis: you wish, boy

Casey: yeah

Janis: don’t worry, it’ll be clear how unavailable you are

Casey: long as it’s clear I’ll not be worried

Janis: plenty of ways I can make it without getting you into trouble

Casey: and as many ways you can get us into trouble without it getting us the sack

Janis: sounds like a challenge

Janis: how could I possibly refuse

Casey: I’d have to reckon on one of the footballers throwing a strop and having your phone off you if you did do

Casey: or Gracie which bears thinking about even less

Janis: I wouldn’t back either in a fight, personally

Casey: I’d not back our chances of having another kid if your sister tried to crack on to me, I’d never get turned on again, like

Janis: don’t break my heart like that

Casey: just as well you can take her easy as

Janis: would have to if she wants to make childlessness a twin thing

Casey: she’s too late, unlucky for her

Janis: true but

Janis: more

Casey: I’ve said you can have all the babies you want

Janis: how many do you want?

Casey: depends, here in this minute, enough for a football team to do the dickheads keeping you away from me out of a job

Janis: might be the best thing you’ve ever said 😍

Casey: told you I missed you more

Janis: but I’m rescheduling as we speak so you don’t have to miss me

Casey: alright, I love you more then

Janis: but I love you so much, you’re the only person I think about

Casey: I dreamt about how much I love you, must be mutual too

Janis: I knew you looked extra fucking adorable before I left

Casey: but you still weren’t gonna wake me, how out of order’s that

Janis: how do you know I didn’t try

Janis: maybe you weren’t dreaming

Casey: fuck

Casey: you’ve got me there, girl

Janis: you look real innocent when you’re sleeping, would be bad of me 

Casey: I’ll only pretend I am and you’ll only be pretend bad

Janis: your body reacts the same way

Casey: it would if I were dead, I love you that much

Janis: you’re never allowed to do that

Casey: not til we’ve both had enough of being in our 100s, we’ll go together or we ain’t going

Janis: that’s a promise

Casey: I’ll never leave you, nothing can make me

Janis: I’m so happy with you, it still don’t feel like it can be real

Casey: when I’ve had decades I still won’t be able to get my head round you being mine

Janis: not even when we’re 100 with 100 babies, I know

Casey: I didn’t know I could feel like this, it don’t feel like it’s allowed

Janis: life is meant to be hard and shit, how everyone acts

Casey: it was, but I dunno how you reckon I’ve done my time with all that yet, should be pushing 100 before I’m owed even a fraction of any of this, and if I weren’t a proper cocky bastard I’d be saying nah on none of it happening

Janis: ‘cos we want it and that’s gotta be a good enough reason 

Janis: already been the most selfish we could be, no sense stopping now, is there

Casey: if there is sense I ain’t gonna point it out

Janis: I’m not looking for it

Casey: I’m on the lookout for your car and you getting the fuck out of it, nowt else

Janis: Good

Janis: I can’t keep count and drive towards you

Casey: I’ve already lost it

Janis: why I like you

Casey: I can’t give you my whys of liking you when you’re driving

Janis: rude way of calling me a shit driver 😱

Casey: you’re a lass, I’d have a job liking you if you wasn’t but it does put you at a disadvantage as far as driving, can’t get away from that

Janis: 😏 sorry we can only pretend you need to teach me

Casey: when the babybrain kicks in I’ll have to teach you all sorts, you heard, biding my time over here

Janis: I’ll remind you how to count to 10 in the meantime

Casey: tah but I’d rather we both forgot with the other reminders that could be being chucked about

Janis: Only so fast I can drive whilst keeping your baby safe, remind me of why you don’t need to be patient then

Casey: Maybe I do but what I don’t need to be is stressed about her safety, you’d never put her at risk, it ain’t the sort of mummy you are, me and her both know it

Janis: you trust me

Casey: with her life

Janis: and we’re your favourite girls in the world

Casey: yeah, means loads more to me than my own, hers and yours

Janis: yours means just as much to us so you’re safe too

Casey: I feel safer here than anywhere else I’ve ever lived

Janis: that’s all that matters to me

Casey: but that don’t mean this is it, I’ll get you a house with a decent garden for her and the dog to get dead good at football in

Janis: I know

Janis: I just want you, I’d have stayed in the hotel forever if I had to

Casey: there’s no just, you can have me and them things, I’ll be a manager in a bit like I said

Janis: ‘course you will, you’ve done this job for years now

Casey: it’s ‘cause of you, reckoning I can

Janis: ‘cos you can

Janis: and you deserve everything you want, ‘cos I say so

Casey: you’ve always said, and thought, I were more than anybody else did

Janis: some people ain’t seen further than their own problems yet

Casey: it kept me going when there was fuck all else to go after, I won’t forget it even though now there is

Janis: there might be too much to thank you for whilst driving

Casey: might be loads of versions of you to end up loving in a 100 years but she were still first

Janis: making me emotional to see if my hormones are fucking me up yet

Casey: mine are, have a word with her, only the first day of work I ain’t off to bloody war, fuck’s sake

Janis: [a video of her telling this baby to cut it out adorably]

Casey: you will come though, won’t you

Casey: seriously

Janis: try and stop me

Casey: no, I don’t wanna even pretend stop you

Janis: then you’ll have to think about helping me get ready

Casey: you’ll have to get ready for what thinking about that is gonna have me do to you the sec you get in this door

Janis: I’ll do my best 😇

Casey: better behaved than her, you

Janis: can’t be demoted before you even see her

Casey: least saying that we’re both ready for her 🥺 to fuck us up

Janis: you’re going to be right there with me, I can handle it all

Casey: you might be demoted a 🤏 when I take her to work with me

Janis: how, under your shirt

Casey: my club, I can do what I like

Janis: 😣

Casey: what’s that face for

Janis: you demoting me

Casey: fuck that, I’ll carry you both round

Janis: you already do, won’t be much bigger even when she’s out

Casey: there you go then, you can keep on and be my favourite an’ all

Janis: fuck sleep, I need you more

Casey: you can’t be touching up footballers anyway, soon as she’s out there’s her sister to put in, you’re well busy

Janis: You’ve got my maternity leave to get it done, should be easy as

Casey: Won’t be for lack of trying if I don’t

Janis: unless you think I’m really gross after

Casey: what fucked up babybrain have I got, you’re the fittest girl in the world, you always have been

Janis: keep thinking that, you’re not allowed to change your mind

Casey: she’s not gonna make me, she only wants to get out of there, she already knows she ain’t allowed to piss about while she’s doing it or we’ll fall out

Janis: She’d not dare disobey 

Casey: she’s better off being my little mate

Janis: you’re a good mate to have, I can let her know

Casey: getting on your bad side isn’t how she wants to go about starting nothing neither

Janis: she’s stuck with me, may as well be my mate too

Casey: nah, she’ll be chuffed to bits to have you, the dog’s not shut up since I said you was on your way

Janis: going to have to let me get in the door before you show me what you’ve gotta do to me then

Casey: I can’t, he’ll have to be a good boy instead of me

Janis: it’s okay, it’s good when you know I need it

Casey: I’ve got you fully trained at least

Janis: I should be mad at you for how turned on that makes me

Casey: why be fuming when you can get even

Janis: I don’t play for a draw

Casey: go on then, win, I’ll let you

Janis: 😡

Casey: you’re too cute

Janis: you’re mean

Casey: I’m sorry, baby

Janis: I can tell when you don’t mean it

Casey: You’ll be able to tell I do when I get on my knees on the drive

Janis: [better get driving so you can show up girl]

Casey: [he literally will do it, we all know, there’s no shame, keep Chubby in this gaff please he doesn’t need to be involved in y’all’s extra antics, deffo has sent her a very distracting pic or two while she is driving as well tho]

Janis: [so glad you left work early so there’s not a crowd of people to see you, just walking over to you like do I believe you hmm but we’re too heart eyes at the sight of you really]

Casey: [excuse us if there was because he’d still be unrepentantly kissing her stomach from this position, soz he simply must, as well as lowkey dragging her down with him so he can make out with her as if he hasn’t seen her in a thousand years]

Janis: [we all know y’all don’t care and we shall be making out with you as hard because always miss you ‘where have you been?’ like you don’t know because the audacity of having to leave each other]

Casey: [doing a forehead touch obvs like right here whilst also positioning the rest of his body so that it couldn’t be touching her more in every possible way like also right here because with you all the time and am never gonna leave you]

Janis: [give him a little loving headbutt because always right there, hugging him in the way you’re very much pushing your stomach at him even though the bump would still be non-existent]

Casey: [hugging her back so hard because always and he would’ve not been able to until really recently cos only just healed like we said, and it turns into picking her up cos he meant what he said about not wanting to share her with Chubby for a minute so continuing the makeout against this car would turn into putting her in it, ofc, a car hookup was their first time, it’s undeniably going to happen right now feelings are high today with him going back to work and y’all knowing you’ll have to see a bit less of each other]

Janis: [ahh to be basically free of those damn injuries again, the blessing that feels like for both of you but especially you boy, the car hookup is essential rn because you’re both highly in your feelings about everything and the fact things are actually happening for y’all, slowly but surely]

Casey: [mhmm, the joys of being able to be fully feral and throw her around again when he wants, god bless, and my boo is so right, I’m so happy for y’all, you deserve this rn and you deserve all the things that are beginning to happen, soz Libi is gonna fuck up this living situation for you but it won’t break y’all and it will help peeps realise she is not okay about literally anything atm so, it’s the start of the messy Libi era, everyone buckle up and for now most of all enjoy being happy af while you still can]

Janis: [we know you’ve been living laughing loving here and will continue to even though this is gonna be drama llamas thanks to these children lmao]

Casey: [they can’t be tamed rn and I love it for them, fuck the haters, but thank god you are so in your feelings atm and thus this hookup cannot last forever and you’re probably kissing almost constantly or every neighbour you have would be joining the ranks of said haters with how hard you’re going at it in this car on this day]

Janis: [about to not be your neighbours but you don’t know that yet, at least you got in the car, a casual step up from some previous feral behaviour lol]

Casey: [lol lol, proud of you lads, do those feral antics and then carry her into this house, boy cos Chubby has missed her too that isn’t a lie, will be kissing her the entire way but it shall be softer and less !!! dramatic]

Janis: [always proud of you for doing the bare minimum to not give the whole neighbourhood a show lol, giving this dog some attention but can’t not be kissing this boy so we keep patting you wrong so you’ll be grumping soz lil man but we’ve missed this boy and we’ll inevitably miss him when he’s working as well as us ‘I missed you’ again we must let you know between kisses]

Casey: [when you likewise cannot give Chubby the attention he wants and deserves, soz hun, but he is simply too distracted taking off some of her work clothes and kissing all the skin he uncovers as a missed you too and will miss you gal, but do eventually tear yourself away from this task long enough that you can get this dog the kind of treat that takes ages to chew so he’ll be happy and busy while you carry this gal to y’all’s bed- cos I assume you’re in a tiny shit flat rn so it wouldn’t be far, if not use the sofa, it matters not- and you can then more fully devote yourself to removing the rest of her clothes and kissing her more, as always special attention to the boobs because it’s feasible they could have grown slightly already and we all know he’d be as OBSESSED by this as he was from the second he first noticed it, obvs he could be doing that FOREVER but excuse you sir he won’t cos he’s gotta notice all that jizz from the car hookup, which neither of them has recovered from remotely yet, running down her leg from y’all moving immediately and therefore he simply must use his tongue to collect it and once he has use that tongue and his fingers to fuck it back into her as deep as he physically can as if he’s trying to get her preggo here and now, really though y’all are just in a feral mood]

Janis: [I’m sure you’ve got a nice comfy bed to run and take this treat to because priorities, you’ll be in more of a stable routine and lifestyle now, sir, even with this rude and impromptu move, it’ll be for the better in the end; meanwhile in the here and now we’re just thinking we’re DYING at this boob attention and then you hit us with this move and we are truly feral, good thing you aren’t ready for your job yet because your hair is getting fucked up and whatever top you’re wearing needs to be pulled off before we rip it off instead]

Casey: [all I want for Chubby is a stable and happy home life, thank you, so glad JC are thriving atm, but this is why your landlord CLEARLY hates y’all even before these out of control party shenanigans because constantly feral, like he literally woke up and started talking to her to get in this mood and insist she came home ASAP lol, and he couldn’t be doing more to make her scream the place down here and now or be less soz about it, p.s unrelated but it makes me laugh, what does Grace think is EVER happening rn with you and your working hours and thus life hun, it really amuses me how confused she’d be]

Janis: [mhmm, this person is looking for an excuse honestly and we can’t blame them but can’t help but love y’all, it gave parallel to icecubegate day so no way we were not coming home, and that’s the entire pretty carefree mood of the moment because your clients are your clients like there isn’t crossover with Grace or anyone else who may work there so as much as you’ll be dying to work it out, we’re not telling you nothing girl lmao; we’ll just be here acting like he can impregnate us still and saying the most about how much we want that]

Casey: [above the pub will be a much better fit for y’all in this era cos it’s noisy and y’all can get away with all these antics more whereas this flat has gotta be too small and too surrounded by neighbours you can piss off as well as the landlord, soz not soz they are a nightmare cos they are too in love and in a bubble to give any fucks, like rn he’s likewise 1000% with her on that, keeping her still and positioning her in the cliche way peeps do as if that means she’ll deffo get pregnant from this, doing the hottest and slowest count to 10 ever amongst everything else he’s doing with his mouth]

Janis: [it’s not the mood ‘cos your neighbours are probably as crazy if that’s the kind of area and you don’t wanna be getting in fights on the daily, that’s not how this new life is meant to be; gotta put all your effort into keeping this girl still because that is the last thing our body wants to do right now, fully looking down at you like 🥺]

Casey: [god bless the iconic bruises she’s gonna have to be hitting this clerb with, shall have to dress accordingly gal cos yeah he isn’t holding back from accomplishing that task at all, could not be happier his injuries are healed truly and he can do the MOST again which of course includes pausing to say her name like ILY with all the !! and eye contact when she’s making that face and he’s got to 10]

Janis: [hitting you with an ‘I-’ because we are overwhelmed in all the ways and how can we possibly convey that with words, just trying to get it across with how hard we are attempting to hold this position despite all the obstacles to this]

Casey: [doing the slowest nod as he then has a lil pause to breathe on her v dramatically cos it’s the shit they do like as if they are both taking a sec here and that isn’t also overwhelmingly hot ‘you’re here’ as if that was what she was gonna say, cos both buzzing about it ‘home’ as the most important * ever]

Janis: [‘you’re here’ and tapping our head because always and whenever we’re not physically with you we’re constantly thinking about you and moments like this, still maintaining ridiculous eye contact even though we’re the reddest ever]

Casey: [I don’t make the rules, he’s obviously moving whilst still keeping her basically pinned where she is with his body so he can kiss her forehead and temples in the most indecent way as soon as she says that, lowkey accidentally on purpose eating her hair on that second move, no notes]

Janis: [when you can freely contort yourself into these positions without fear of hurting him now so we absolutely are because who doesn’t love an opportunity to show off how flexible they are, not this girl, running our fingers through your hair and helping hold our position by pulling on your hair so it’s pretty rough]

Casey: [never gonna be mad about how genuinely flexible she is cos lots of gals think they are but they’re actually not and especially not to this level cos they not putting in the work like that, he loves to see it and is not over it, thus rewarding her with the most !! kiss as if his jaw wouldn’t be about to fall off over here from all the feral behaviour]

Janis: [just doing gymnastics on this bed as if it’s necessary because it’s the kink lol, making the most of being upside down essentially by really going for this kiss because his tongue would be halfway down your throat without having to make any special effort and we love to be unable to breathe or do anything that isn’t swap bodily fluids with you]

Casey: [we all know it’s her fave so ofc he’ll be holding her throat too so it’s even harder for her to breathe and equally so he can feel all that, the usual lol]

Janis: [always living our best life being unhinged like you haven’t done this before nor will you ever get the chance again, still riding that vibe even though you know it’s no longer true unless something goes very very wrong, gotta be lowkey stuffing our hair into your mouth like there you go, your turn to not breathe]

Casey: [in no world is he not gonna be choking more than he really would be for the absolute vibe and hotness of it in y’all’s opinion, making her hair all gross with spit and borderline vom nbd, thank god you’ll both have time to shower before you hit the clerb cos imagine]

Janis: [can’t be coming in looking like you’ve already done your tactical sick honey, you came back early, we got all the time in the world to be so hearteyes about being truly gross together, ‘tis your love language]

Casey: [mhmm and he’s got all the time in the world to be throwing her around this bed by her throat cos another fave and there’s no way he won’t be initiating another hookup by now and therefore needing to get her into whatever position y’all settle on for the deepest penetration ever to continue with those getting her pregnant vibes]

Janis: [you’re gonna have to do a mini passout together like not a full snooze because we can’t be late but tis the only way we’re ending this because we could just go forever with these vibes]

Casey: [agreed and y’all can’t be going on forever like this actually cos you have places to be, wake them up from this lil doze Chubby by being adorable, if you get him first by licking his face or something he can go run a bath for her, or start running the shower if that’s all this crappy flat has given you, because always]

Janis: [give this dog some proper attention whilst this boy is busy doing that because you did not and he’s offended clearly lol, shout through ‘do I need to walk him?’]

Casey: [come through to see Chubby being a mr steal your gal as soon as he gets some attention though lol and you can playfight him away like oi she is mine, cos they are both silly big baby boy nerds ‘before you put your fittest dress on’ like don’t be wasting the good ootn on a dog walk or be getting kidnapped cos you’ll look so kidnappable ‘but not yet’ cos soz not letting you go rn hun even though he has not done it cos just woke up as we know, emphasising this by picking her up and chucking her over his shoulder to run into the bathroom as if she was gonna leave otherwise, making Chubby zoom and be even sillier chasing y’all]

Janis: [‘weren’t planning to do it in heels’ as we are shaking our head affectionately at your antics with this pup, just helping Chubby on the sly before being kidnapped by you and shouting to Chubby for help lollollol]

Casey: [Chubby being an absolute hero and trying to save her, oh we love him so much, I like to think this evil boy has already fully thrown her into the bath or shower though so then this dog gets in too and is soaked and all that hilarity ensues cos y’all really are living your best life and I need all that domestic cute happiness]

Janis: [the tsunami that chunky king would cause, the entire house is gonna be soaked when he shakes it off but we’re just loling and unconcerned because adorable]

Casey: [no fucks given, despite chasing him with a towel it’s only to play with him more tbh cos likewise just loling and being v happy as you all should be, haters be damned]

Janis: [get your shower on girl, you have a mess to clean]

Casey: [and you get in with her sir when you’ve quite finishing winding this puppy up]

Janis: [just a look like oh so you’ve finished ignoring me, as if he’s been gone ages here]

Casey: [fully wrapping his arms around her in an unnecessarily extra and daddy manner to pull her close to him as if they wouldn’t be anyway cos there’s only so much space in this shower with his own look like I’m soz I didn’t catch yours what did you say even though he did and knows full well what you’re saying with it]

Janis: [just holding it however we have to manoeuvre within this hold like you heard me, ‘washing’ a new bruises/bite/scratch mark we just gave you like it’s nbd and we’re not saying loads with this too]

Casey: [keeping things mutual as per by doing the same with the new bruises he just gave her by pinning her in place for an age, it goes without saying he’s pressing down hard enough when he’s washing her to make them even more dramatic, of course he is]

Janis: [conversely being very gentle over a lovebite you accidentally gave him in the standard neck area because thinking about him making a good first impression, not that I think anyone would lose their shit over a barman having a hickie but we’re thinking about it]

Casey: [taking her hand and holding/playing with as gently if not even more so cos he gets what she’s thinking about and why but it’s okay and he do need her to know that without having to say so]

Janis: [whilst still being v gentle, come at him with a face wash vibe so you can just be staring at him but he has to close his eyes so he doesn’t get soap in them lol]

Casey: [smiling so big, not because it tickles but because he’s that happy and has been this entire time y’all have been living here vibing]

Janis: [smiling to the point even though your eyes are closed I know you can feel it, also covering your face in kisses which is a mistake because you’ve not rinsed the soap off so you now have to dramatically spit that and look offended like he did it on purpose]

Casey: [can feel it so risks opening his eyes to sneak a look at her and sees her doing this dramatic spit and obvs finds it really hot actually, we all know who he is, so doing his own very faux offended LOOK like excuse you, before he’s doing the most, stroking her tongue, spitting water into her mouth etc etc all the kind of feral things you don’t have to be doing but just wanna]

Janis: [‘your fault’ so sincerely as we’re biting our lip to make it bleed like the taste is preferable but clearly you just wanna/need to]

Casey: [‘I’ll take the blame then’ as he takes her lip into his mouth and sucks the blood off it cos duh]

Janis: [shake our head and thus our lip to make it bleed some more for you ‘make me sound as bad as you like’ however ridiculous that sounds with our bottom lip between your teeth, like you can tell all your coworkers I’m a nightmare if you gotta lol]

Casey: [shaking his own head immediately ‘too good, you’ as if these co-workers are gonna know and call him a liar lol and it’s not just that she always behaves exactly as he wants her to at all times]

Janis: [‘must be your type’ like only good for you, which, true]

Casey: [a nod cos it is true lol, her poor lip just getting pulled about left right and centre here nbd]

Janis: [the appreciative sounds you’ll get in return though letting you know we’re not mad]

Casey: [doing his own appreciative sounds in reaction to hers because he’s that sort of bear ‘go on, what do you want us to tell ‘em?’ cos the complete freedom of peeps who don’t actually know you and she can just be his gf and whatever they want without all the drama attached and we all know he’s been thinking about and looking forward to it since he found out he got this job]

Janis: [when the freedom is so real and you can’t even fathom being able to make up a story that’s entirely your own choosing so your pause is dramatically long as you’re going through everything you could say or want to ‘they’ll just need to know they’re going to see me a lot’ like let ‘em know I will be showing up to see you often]

Casey: [letting her have that moment while he has his own cos it’d feel realer now than ever with how close this new job looms and obvs he has all the feelings about it ‘and used to seeing me like this’ as he touches the same accidental lovebite she did earlier, yet another it’s okay and we don’t have to be tamed move]

Janis: [‘you’re mine first’ basically under our breath like you can’t have him that fully, at this job, because we refuse to give up our feral ways when it’s not your business]

Casey: [‘I’m yours no matter what’ they can’t have him, his co-workers or customers, soz not soz, not at all under his breath cos we heard you and we hard agree]

Janis: [squeeze our hand over yours and this lovebite with the firmness needed to say I know without saying the words ‘they won’t need telling I’m yours’ like it’ll be that obvious why I’m in this club]

Casey: [nevertheless giving her a matching lovebite right here and right now while he does the 🤏 with his free hand like they need telling a little bit imo, before then using it to pull her hair and get her even closer somehow during his antics, because always gonna make it even more obvious and he’s simply that !! about the idea of her being at this club with him and them getting to be a proper couple and do proper couple things]

Janis: [‘I want you to talk about me’ because you don’t get to to anyone who’s going to be happy to hear it and this paired with the hair pull and lovebite is making this a !! demand lowkey]

Casey: [‘I want to’ cos he really do, and he really wants to let her know how much by saying it even though it’s obvious af he’s having all the feelings about this and he also wants to give her the bonus of how those 3 words sound when they come out ‘they’ll be sick of hearing us’ like I promise I will talk about you and simply will never shut my mouth on the subject, but there’s the double meaning of hearing y’all being feral too as we all know you will somehow and he wants to put that idea firmly in her head for tonight]

Janis: [‘We’ll see’ ultimate parental vibes lol but obviously that sounds like anything but a no to soften the blow because obviously we’re thinking of the potential of any breaks you get too]

Casey: [Ian, unlike my father, has clearly never been a we’ll see kind of dad a day in his life so that’s deffo the first time you’ve ever heard that boy, hence your hot lol and oh yeah? kind of eyebrow raise and expression like we all know that’s a yes actually]

Janis: [‘you’re going to be very busy’ as we’re doing our washing you whilst massaging your muscles thing like don’t be so sure boy]

Casey: [‘not too busy for you’ cos where’s the lie ever, in any situation, proving his point by washing her hair or something when he could just be enjoying what she’s doing and chilling]

Janis: [‘not gonna complain’ as a contented sigh because it feels nice and we’re not, you could do your job asleep like we can ours]

Casey: [‘nor me’ meaning this job in general now, however shit it may or may not be he’s just genuinely happy to have a new one and not be injured anymore and for them to be living together and living their best lives]

Janis: [‘not getting the [something in this place that needs fixing] fixed, not getting you out of it’ like soz, you are stuck with me, wrapping your whole self around him to illustrate your point]

Casey: [‘asking that nice’s what’ll get [the thing] fixed’ as if she’s only doing it because she really wants her DIY done lol]

Janis: [do your own lol like oh, I see ‘if I was asking you, you’d know about it’ because fuck fixing this landlord’s place for them honey but also we know how to get you to do what we want, of course]

Casey: [‘what are you after then?’ like she’s so demanding there must be something and he simply has no clue what it could possibly be]

Janis: [doing a pout like how dare you and I can’t believe you could ever think that about me, blowing some soap bubbles at you ‘I’m just making sure you look presentable’]

Casey: [all the eye contact ever + taking an age to run his thumb over her pouty bottom lip as if he’s thinking who he could have mixed her up with, doing a smirk as he dodges those soap bubbles cos yet again can’t be overstated how much he’s not over not being injured and being able to move properly, and while he is messing about like that, crouching down so it’s like he’s in baby Jac’s eyeline ‘is it you?’ like she’s the one with a list of diva demands ‘my bad, like, what are you after little girl?’ @ this bub in a soft almost whisper in case it’s a secret]

Janis: [also dodge our faux push at you confusing us with anyone else in this scenario because of course we know what that smirk means but our own expression is pure 😳 up here ‘you know better than I do’ with a shrug like if she needs something she hasn’t told me, pretending we’re v casual about all this]

Casey: [‘you heard her, it’s me who knows best’ with all the daddy energy in the world because always ‘not having you kick off tonight, don’t matter how massively everybody else’s behaving like a dickhead’ not him expressing his new job nerves via this baby, it’s fine]

Janis: [‘your favourite for a reason’ as we’re stroking your hair, looking down at you with love from this POV, like of course she’s going to behave for you ‘nowt to worry about’]

Casey: [kissing her stomach as a kiss for this bub and then a kiss on the top of her head/her hair because they are both his faves and also making it even that he gets some soap in his mouth too even though his was more on purpose and is actually shampoo lol tis still mutual and we love that]

Janis: [getting to wash his mouth out for him which devolves into an intense and deep makeout sesh here in his shower because we have a lot of feelings about you, making it so you’re both sitting on the floor of this shower moment like you were in the driveway before]

Casey: [love a parallel, enjoy your makeout sesh lads, I shan’t ruin your good time by reminding you of your water bill I’ll just be thinking about it silently to myself]

Janis: [oh my boo, love you but that is simply the last thing that would ever be on their minds and we all know it ‘what am I meant to do whilst I wait for you?’ between increasingly frantic kisses, said as if you’ve never been to a club in your life but I get it]

Casey: [‘What am I knowing you’re waiting on me?’ because what could be more distracting that her there looking stunning and him only being able to do or say something about it when he isn’t busy with all the other peeps he couldn’t care less about, hence the kisses getting more and more extra somehow as are the moans and sounds he’s doing rn and knowing he won’t be able to just do whenever]

Janis: [purely reactive sounds to yours because the way you sound is doing something to us ‘I can’t look at you’ as you’re doing your eyes open kissing because got to whilst we can still do more than just look]

Casey: [‘you can’t look away’ like I know you can’t but also you mustn’t despite the fact it’ll probably kill us how much eye contact we’re gonna end up making across this bar, holding her face still in this moment the way he pinned her body in place earlier, just the exact same energy and amount of force]

Janis: [it’s too real and we wouldn’t deny it anyway ‘no one else registers’ pulling your body into ours as hard as we can because need to be as close to you as we can whilst we can]

Casey: [the GASP as he inevitably ends up inside her because it feels like it’s been a thousand years even though it’s literally been no time at all as per, only managing to get out ‘never’ and it barely sounding like a word but had to try so she knows how much nobody else has ever registered or will]

Janis: [the ‘fuck me’ being pushed out of you with this moment here and now but we’re nodding rhythmically and making deliberate eye contact like you know I mean tonight]

Casey: [taking it as an instruction in the here and now as always and being as frantic about it as the kisses were, not all casually throwing her around this shower as much as possible like they were doing on the bed earlier, definitely making sure she ends up with her face pressed against the floor at some point so she can be half drowned, asking her if she wants to get fucked like this for every new position and move to let her know he’s down for everywhere and anywhere tonight despite that being obvious]

Janis: [getting out our ‘yes daddy’ every time despite that getting increasingly more impossible given everything that’s occurring, pushing back against you only so you have to slam us harder into the floor ‘we have to’ said like it truly is something you MUST do]

Casey: [doing a ‘good girl’ every time despite that being as impossible for him because simply gotta when she’s behaving this well ‘we’re doing it’ said in the exact same way because hard agree, however impractical that may actually be he’s as determined ‘tonight and every night you’re with me’ love the stamina, we know you’re never gonna be less feral though so it’s not a promise you’re likely to break]

Janis: [‘every night’ as a * like I’ll come be with you every night because why would I be anywhere else when we can be together ‘I’ll make it so easy for you’ we all know what that means outfitwise like please imagine that now thanks boy]

Casey: [‘forever’ because obvs he wants that exact same thing despite how impractical it is with her day job and the fact she needs sleep and there’ll be a baby soon, he’s not thinking about any of that rn, he’s only thinking about what she just said and somehow managing to fuck her even harder because of it]

Janis: [‘I’ll be so quiet’ whilst you do the total opposite here and now because you actually cannot and will not when you don’t need to]

Casey: [demo-ing all the possible ways he could make her be purely for the fun of it, putting his hand over her mouth, his tongue halfway down her throat etc etc like I’ll be so helpful don’t worry

Janis: [when your hand is over our mouth we’re licking it as indecently as we can ‘til you relent and we can suck every finger individually and then your tongue until we’re gagging so you know exactly how we’re proposing you make us be quiet]

Casey: [v enthusiastic responses in every way as if she was going to be in any doubt here she was giving right answers]

Janis: [just here switching up the position and insisting on blowing you mid hookup because apparently that’s been too long too and we need to, just lying on the floor on our stomach between your legs nbd]

Casey: [never gonna say no to that, will be using the shower to lowkey waterboard her though obvs because always gotta help her choke to death moreso than she already is and will also be playing with her booty in all the ways cos it’s right there in this position how could he not]

Janis: [soz it is all about you right now for us and we gotta let you know with our hearteyes like we’re not out here acting like a demon seeing how far we can take things always, doing the softest bites all over you because a risky business but if anyone would, it’s y’all, obviously you have to kiss and lick his booty too because why would you not show your appreciation with mutual experiences]

Casey: [it’s mutual, adorable hearteyes mixed with the absolute feral urge to take things to their absolute limit, and it goes without saying he was already doing the first one before he started LOSING it over those bites and everything else which would cause him to GO IN on the second, he’ll lose a hand up there in a sec if y’all don’t calm down which you clearly never will lol]

Janis: [just here dragging our teeth over the most sensitive spot over and over because we want you to lose it and fuck the shit out of us lowkey literally lol ‘will you bend me over the bar?’ when you’re using your tongue to instead be penetrating him so you can somewhat get that out coherently if muffled]

Casey: [calling her baby over and over as if that move she’s doing is the softest and gentlest shit anyone has ever done, no notes, giving her the most enthusiastic yes in answer to her question in the form of not being able to be coherent though and just being the loudest and somehow continuing to do the most penetration ever to her despite how hardcore he’s dying rn]

Janis: [just one long continuous moan in response that gets more insane and desperate the more you’re doing and the more we’re thinking about ‘all my holes, all yours’ which is not a full sentences but it cannot be, only illustrating what we mean by adding a finger to the tongue action we’re doing to you, only to then put said finger in your mouth to suck]

Casey: [of course he’s doing it and doing it as dramatically as possible, whilst still doing the most to try and wear her like a glove and dragging her into whatever position necessary with his free hand to be able to touch her foof as much at the same time as though all holes at once was an instruction for rn immediately, it’s all happening in this shower, try not to break it, lads]

Janis: [it’s probably the tiniest shower in the world because of course it is, which makes this even more intense and mental because neither of y’all has room to breathe, never mind adjust once you’ve crammed yourself into whatever position is necessary for this to just keep escalating like it is]

Casey: [mhmm, you’re both too tall to be playing this manic feral game of sexual tetris and something in that shower is definitely getting fucked up but will that stop you, no of course not, nothing will until you both can’t take any more]

Janis: [good thing you did actually get clean before starting this business and will be able to get clean enough with whatever you’ve got left of this shower when you’ve recovered and come ‘round lmao]

Casey: [imagine if they just had to have a normal shower after that as if nothing had happened because they hadn’t done any of it, I’m cackling]

Janis: [this is why y’all go until you pass out because you simply can’t, then you have to koala to each other like clingy children because it’d literally be like a comedown]

Casey: [oh lads you do amuse me, I’d be too exhausted to put a full shift at work in after all that never mind anything else happening while you’re both at the club]

Janis: [good luck, could never be us, the stamina, like my boo said, we’ll just be here in our towel watching you get dressed whilst we attempt to process any of that, as per]

Casey: [god knows what your work outfit is sir but it’s probably not cute, clerbs are so cringe, at least you’ll be able to pick a bomb one out for her when you’re dressed, that’ll be v fun for you both even if you’re gonna have to wait a while before she can put it on cos Chubby does need to be walked by one or both of yous and you will also have to do boring shit like make or order dinner of some sort]

Janis: [we will definitely have to pop out before we put that on it would legit not be safe nor sensible but I’m sure Chubby has gone to sleep whilst you’ve been pissing about so you can help him start something in the kitchen first]

Casey: [it’s fine the anticipation of her finally putting it on is almost as fun as picking the outfit, it all adds to it, and like I said earlier in this convo I need all the domestic cuteness so yes definitely meal prep and cook together in your tiny kitchen and he’ll make drinks for them both like he needs the practice but really he just wants to make her the personalised non-alcoholic drink from before cos all the emotions he has]

Janis: [here in our feelings, don’t mind us, got to hide how genuinely emotional we are by being like ‘just don’t forget alcohol for the people paying’ like we’re giving out handy tips]

Casey: [‘won’t forget to charge for it’ as if he’s gonna make virgin drinks and then get peeps to pay for doubles, don’t mind me emotional because that reminds me of Jimothy’s barista boy antics when he was gonna like give full fat milk to the lactose intolerant peeps, I’m fine, not wrecked by JJ at all]

Janis: [the parallels are not lost on us but trying very hard not to get stuck thinking about that or we will have to go home and be sad and the evening hasn’t even begun so la la la ignore those memories]

Casey: [I’ll just think instead about how in clerbs drinks are so watered down and overpriced sometimes that what he just said isn’t far from the truth so I don’t get sad, also I’m gonna focus on how this boy is such a big nerd he will be playing bops for Chubby, when he inevitably wakes up to be nosey about y’all’s dinner, so he can have his own little club night experience seeing as he isn’t allowed to come with, again this is why your neighbours and landlord hate you, here singing badly and trying to get this dog to join in + dancing with this pup like an absolute fool]

Janis: [when this is something you would automatically go to film because it is amusing and you want to be able to look back on it but that’s also a whole loaded thing so you put your phone down and focus on getting his dog walking gubbins out so you can use this excitement to get him out the door and walked as fast as you’d need to today]

Casey: [when he knows but he’s not going to force you into confronting any of it and bring the mood down drastically, focus on getting your own jobs done sir whether that’s carrying on sorting dinner out or washing up some of the shit or whatever it may be]

Janis: [go on your walk so you can take that second to not spiral here and now, it’s fine]

Casey: [let her cos you know she needs to and you don’t ever need to be Jimothy levels of clingy about anything so]

Janis: [after you’ve been out for a while but are still definitely on your walk]

Janis: You remembered how to make it

Janis: how do you remember them all?

Casey: Just do, if you’re bothered about something you make space for it, I dunno

Janis: yeah

Janis: or there’s room for a big 🧠

Casey: there’s room for drink related bollocks where other dickheads have room for doctor or lawyer related bollocks, more like

Janis: like eithers that hard, condescending attitude and a lot of jargon gets you either letters by your name, like

Casey: it don’t worry us, them dickheads chuck their earnings into my pocket at the end of their work day, hard or piss easy

Janis: be easier to list who don’t

Casey: too right, in this town there’d be no list, either you’re just born or near dead

Janis: be why there’s so many dickheads to deal with, odds were never on your side

Casey: I fancy my odds on knowing how to deal with ‘em, you’re alright

Janis: I know

Casey: We’ll make a go of it, you know

Janis: of what?

Casey: all this, everything

Janis: you know I don’t doubt you, yeah

Casey: don’t doubt yourself neither, yeah

Janis: never been accused of that

Casey: part of the problem, that

Janis: are you on my side or what boy

Casey: unless the or what is repeating other twats mistakes when I can see them a mile off, wouldn’t do you no favours there, would I

Janis: This is the last thing you need to be bothered about tonight

Casey: you’re the only thing I need to bother myself with any night

Janis: but I’m okay so you can bother about yourself instead

Casey: tah but I’ve got nowt to worry about

Janis: true, and you look good

Casey: I’ll look better when I own the place and can have my say in what every dickhead else wears, like

Casey: it’ll do before that night comes

Janis: got time to decide if you really wanna be that cunt and insist on waistcoats and bowties

Casey: probably won’t need long to work out that’s not a goer but never say never

Janis: you’re too nice, always have been

Casey: to you I’ve always wanted to be

Janis: you didn’t always have enough reason to

Casey: it were that I had too much of one, biggest reason there is

Janis: doesn’t stop me treating people like shit but

Janis: I get it

Casey: and I get why you’ve done each thing you’ve done, always have

Janis: I’ll have to take your word for it

Casey: go on then, take and keep hold of what I’ve said, girl

Janis: I’m listening, I swear

Casey: good, I’ll lose the knack of sign language in a bit

Janis: he’ll lose his for conversation, god knows if either of them is managing a full one even with each other

Casey: he’d have to have a knack to lose

Janis: valid point but not a helpful one

Casey: they ain’t after my help at the minute

Janis: nor mine but it’s when they still was and we left him to get like that I’m bothered about

Casey: I know

Janis: but what’s the point questioning why Ian left us to it, answers don’t change anything now

Casey: there’s no question anyway, he did what suited him, proper selfish bastards don’t fancy changing either

Janis: could’ve suited him to lay the law down about it, fuck’s sake

Casey: how he lays the law down don’t suit you

Janis: too late now

Casey: you’ve got time to go to his and have a word with him about it whenever you like, I’ll cover for you, mate

Janis: talking to the school seems like a better idea now, gutting as that is

Casey: does it

Janis: why don’t you think so?

Casey: I don’t think them pair’ll be chuffed at you for involving yourself

Janis: I can tell him to do it then, you know what I mean

Casey: or you could leave him to it

Janis: do you think that’s going to achieve anything

Casey: nah, but him only doing shit if you force him don’t neither

Janis: I don’t know any other way to do it

Casey: they’ve gotta get their head round if they don’t do it no fucker else will, even if that does it in an’ all

Janis: eventually but it’s not just about them

Casey: I get you’re not ready to just piss off out of it, it’s okay

Janis: It’s not about my feelings, it’s about them and Libi 

Casey: she’ll thank you less than they would do if you go up the school being mardy and chucking your weight about

Janis: I don’t care

Casey: let her work out they’re taking the piss

Janis: yeah, right

Casey: she’s not a kid, she don’t need hand holding through it no more

Janis: why would I watch her make the same mistakes as me, that’s just stupid

Casey: she’s gotta learn, you telling her they’re mistakes don’t make a difference when she reckons all you’ve done is fuck your life up

Janis: She ain’t gonna learn anything if she’s got no one there to teach her

Casey: she’ll have to the hard way, most dickheads do

Janis: Mums her guardian anyway, she’ll have to tell them that they need to find Bobby an interpreter, or help Jimmy employ one, whatever

Janis: it’s not even coming from me

Casey: so don’t take it on, it ain’t up to you

Janis: as you pointed out, no other cunt will and then she’ll just pick whatever irrelevant subjects he wants to do for his leavers and neither of them will get to grow up

Casey: she might or she might grow a pair before then, but that’s on Libi not you

Janis: 14 isn’t old enough to decide anything about your future, if nothing else, that should be abundantly clear to us all

Casey: we had to pick our subjects having no clue, have a crack at getting on the school board of governors or whatever if you wanna change the piss poor ideas they’ve got, like

Janis: The point is she knows what she wants to do, but she won’t for his sake

Casey: and my point is, if you keep on at her she’ll double down on that fuck up ‘cause you ain’t exactly her best mate right now

Janis: I don’t care about being the bad guy, that’s irrelevant

Janis: she won’t have a choice when it’s pointed out to the school how they’re failing to meet the needs of a disabled kid, and have been for years

Casey: you said it, been going on for years, they already know

Janis: you get that it’s a court case waiting to happen, yeah they know but they aren’t going to want the rest of the world to, so they’d have to fix it

Casey: they can’t force her to stop being a dickhead if she says she wants to do the same bollocks subjects as him, nor can you

Janis: of course they can, that’s the unfairness of school, you do as you’re told

Janis: they do it to twins and weirdly intense friends all the time, it’s not hard, you just have to complain

Casey: it’s a bigger problem than her leavers and it’s hers to sort

Janis: it’s important, you don’t leave children to sort this shit out themselves, my God

Casey: you can, you’re not the only person she’s got

Janis: well I’m not going to so you’ll have to just live with it

Casey: I get it, you heard, I’ll chuck myself into this new job the same so I can pat myself on the back for getting one thing right

Casey: it’s something you know is fixable when there’s loads more that ain’t

Janis: yeah because you don’t fuck off helping to prove a point

Casey: you don’t have to piss about trying to help to prove there’s still a place for you

Janis: that’s what you reckon, yeah

Casey: I’ve said my piece, and like you said, I’ll live with it

Janis: Good for you

Casey: it is what it is

Janis: what it is is you’ve got me so wrong I don’t even know what to say to you

[klugpuuo]

^our FREAKS. basic rundown is theyre both trans but didnt realize it for years, theyre in a qpr, knux has chronic pain & sonic also but hes also got hypermobility. their lore is like, kinda similar to the games from what i know? WE ARE MAKING MORE REF SHEETS FOR EVERYONE ELSE but we might kjeep it to just the uh. Classic 4? Four muskateers? hell if i know what theyre called

sonic was born on christmas island, fucked off and nobody looked for him bc>?? who knows. canonically he is a radiation baby btw. it's prolly not as bad as it possibly could be for him but he is a little irradiated. yupppppp

he lived on an abandoned ship (a bit on the smaller side but still was used for transporting cargo and stuff), but upon eggman's arrival it was smashed, eggman claiming that the technology in it was far below him and under his rule everything would be far more advanced.

that along w all the kidnappings pissed sonic off, cue Game.

we havent rlly changed any events of the games (yet?) tbh just added to em. and most of the stuff we've actually made / thought abt making takes place a while after frontiers oops

i think tails went on his journy of self discovery before sonic and knux decided to have their hooooneymoooooon. not sure abt specifics but he prolly went around the entire world, visiting prettymuch everywhere on his tornado.

amy and kuckles are mostly just hanging out tbh. they do weekly sparring matches to keep in shape and knux might actually be teaching her some stuff abt the emerald and how to watch it (mostly just "dont take suspicious information from strangers")

i uh dont have much else rn so UH

fun worldbuilding facts:

a UBI was put in place a few years ago :] it took a lot of fighting, but thankfully the public view of sonic & his friends, who all share a pretty anarchist mindset, managed to convince most people in power that they would in fact lose a LOT of support if they didn't allow the change

since NIDs is just AIDs it probably has a (partial) cure now!

it actually took several years to uh. Rehydrate south island after forces. there's still a patch of desert, but it's stubborn and the animals in it have actually adapted very well, so everyone's more focused on making sure it's good for a desert rather than turn it back to normal

humans and uhhhhhh. furries.? (??????????) live together in most communities. just like irl any human or anthro can be from anywhere and look like anything :thumbsup: (there are still natives to every country, obviously tho)

there ARE in universe comics abt sonics adventures. some are slightly more exaggerated than others.

yeah thats all i got for now

weve been makiing some sonic redesigns & fleshing out our own au and i have to admit. you and your posts have been a huge inspiration to me over these past few years and i rlly appreciate you maming them 👍

Oh myngod thank you so much?? Im so glad aaaaa

[flingza-roller]

Sorry if this is bad timing, but I just saw your post about lorikeet and I love them! Could you tell me a bit more about them and your other splatoon OCs?

OHO YES! there is no such thing as bad timing to ask about ocs, im just incredibly happy that somebody is interested!! heheh time to Ramble (this is long sorry)

ok so im gonna stick to the bird kids cuz theyre a lot easier to explain GSJFD (maybe someday ill give my other ocs refs and backstory stuff....)

all four of em are very much based off how i play the game as each character, so i pretty much just grab my in-game behaviour and give it to em as a personality.

so, lorikeet! splat3 is still very new but i think ive somehow already solidified their personality lmao. theyre super reckless, pretty much always falling off stages and getting themself splatted by doing stupid things like running headfirst to a tacticooler or trying to challenge the eliter that wont leave them alone (i think mahi-mahi is the absolute worst for this). they like to go a little bit cazy and get as many kills as possible, which is silly when the only mode u play is turf war... (on that, there is not a single splatoon game that has gotten me to like ranked/league. i played it a few times and then swore off it, so now all four of the kids hate ranked lol)

lori fucking ADORES deep cut so theyve got the three earrings in their right ear bc they wanna be like shiver and frye. on deep cut, they love splatfests and all the music n fun stuff that comes with it. theyre weirdly not too competitive when it comes to defending their team, BUT they will go extra feral during splatfest turf wars and go complete beast mode. they still dont have a main weapon? favours brushes but thats pippins thing so they should probably pick something else GDKGS

oh they have the worst adhd brain. if they see something cool happening in the bg of a stage they will just straight up stop in their tracks and watch for a while, completely oblivious to whatever is happening in the match. and of course the moment they hear the tacticooler they will run for it even if theyre literally in the opposite end of the stage.... stupid. favourite stage is yet to be decided, gotta let the game marinate for a while longer

as the new agent 3 lori is pretty good at following orders, they just kinda... die in the dumbest possible ways. trying to jump through walls, walking straight off ledges, accidentally attracting attention to themself by throwing lil buddy right next to them. but theyre pretty good at fighting! also they like annoying the captain, because of course (this doesnt bode well for kiwi)

id like to build more on their character eventually but that requires me playing more splat3 and ive been rly unmotivated to do so >:/ ive barely played any salmon run and still havent touched table turf. augh. lori u will grow as a person i promise

now PIPPIN! (she/they) theyre my kid from octo expansion! shes very silly but surprisingly strong and skilled. never asked for help from OTH and went through every single test multiple times to get every weapon ticked (hell). also enjoys fighting inner agent 3 because ??? clearly a lot more competent than theyre letting on.

so once pip came to the surface they were very much like "id rather NOT do the whole fighting thing again" and jumped into turf wars with the intention of just having fun and messing with people. her gear set is 100% QSJ cuz she likes annoying the enemy team and then jumping away like a coward when theyre cornered (it jumpscares people bc they dont expect an octo to jump THAT fast).

she uses brush so that they can draw love hearts in enemy base :] they think its very cute and gets sad when ppl ink over it. also if an enemy tries to initiate a party they will always join bc make love not war etc. always goes for the highest inkage (highest score excluding win points was over 2000) favourite stage is inkblot art academy!

zero sense of fashion btw they either wear the QSJ gear or whatever they think will make her look hot (big fan of the octoling armour and marinas crop top). sometimes changes gender to Boy bc why the hell not, gender is arbitrary.

when grouped up with the others, they like teaming up with pigeon to cause chaos and havoc. shes very excited to see lori joining the team cuz theyre equally as insane as the other two! kiwi is the only one carrying a braincell here rip

PIGEON time!! (also she/they) technically my first oc because splatoon 2 was my first game! so she definitely has the most going for them. foil flingza main (my beloved), absolutely a frontliner and goes for the kill as much as possible. very good at sneak attacks! main gear is almost entirely special charge up (sorry. im the og missile spammer) except for ninja squid which they use to scare the shit outta ppl.

pigeon adores the birds u see hanging out on various stages, especially the pigeons (naturally). favourite stage is moray towers! i never said we had good taste. moray is excellent for roller users and allows for fast clean base inking >:]

like the others they love a good squid party but isnt always in the mood, HOWEVER she will never splat an innocent partier bc thats a dick move. if theyre not a threat, theres no need to splat.

outside of turf, pigeon is actually not a very violent person. very sweet to their friends and oh so very lesbian. she sees a pretty girl in the square and goes 😳 (btw this DOES work in battle, be a cute girl and they will be distracted). fucking absolutely obsessed with squid beatz like you have no idea, aims to get gold on every hard mode song. favourite songs to play are frantic aspic, shark bytes, and entropical. she and pippin love playing games like this together, i bet theyd be great dance duo.

in hero mode, pigeon is naturally a completionist and obtained every weapon. fucking loves harassing marie and annoying her as much as possible. adores callie so much <3 their best speedrun time is 40 sec on octo samurai (sadly cant reach the world record of 39)

unlike pippin they actually have a pretty good fashion sense, always coordinating their outfits and ink colour to match. a very stylish squid!

now kiwi is an interesting one. i first played splatoon 1 in beginning of 2018, so sadly i missed out on the splatfests. still got plenty of turf in and played hero mode repeatedly bc i have brainrot!

so kiwi (again. she/they) is really into amiibo challenges, especially the kraken challenge. being a kraken for that long makes em feel powerful, and its lotsa fun. they actually spend far more time on hero missions than anything else, they enjoy turf on the occasion but find it weirdly intimidating (favourite stage is flounder heights!). she feels most at home in the valley, with craig and the squid sisters. theyre far too sympathetic toward octolings (unlike pigeon who just goes fucking ham) and tries her best to just avoid fighting them entirely. because of this, shes pretty good at stealth missions, especially since she rarely makes much noise anyway. theyre definitely the most low-key out of the four agents.

SO!! why do i name them all after birds? because.... i like birds :D yes im a wannabe ornithologist and birds are my main special interest. i also mainly name them after aus/nz birds cuz im just Like That. we have cool birds in australia, and lorikeet was just far too fitting to pass up. (btw pippin is short for peregrine falcon)

despite being so skilled in hero mode missions they do actually get hurt a lot and almost always has some kind of bandaid or gauze on her body from various injuries. is it a lack of skill, or just recklessness? hmmm (its definitely just because she doesnt take enough care of their body lol).

if kiwi were to be captain in splatoon 3, theyd definitely be just constantly scruffing new 3 by the collar to stop them from doing something stupid. is very afraid of a new idiot joining the gang, as if pip n pidge werent bad enough. all 4 as a splatfest team would definitely be the most chaotic thing possible.

also theyre this way because when i draw squirds (tagged on my blog as "wings au") i think its fun to see how different they all look! kiwi would certainly be more fitting as a bird of prey but i think they look so silly with the stubby wings so im not changing my mind. this does mean shes real fast at running! pip and lori are the fastest flyers, pigeon is just kinda in between rip

final note, theyre all at LEAST 18 just so that its not weird. they all use she/they except lori, whos exclusively they/them. they all fucking hate ranked but love hero missions. also all of them have 1 braincell bouncing between them (mainly held by kiwi)

if u managed to read this far, thanks for ur time!! ill eventually draw all these silly bird kids together as squirds, i think itd be fun.

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[kunoichi-ume]

Planning Ahead

This picture @dingoat​ did for me gave me allllll the feels for these two and I had to finish this little drabble I had started for them. They might be headling wrestlers and a badass tag team but these girls have a lot going on outside the ring too, this is just a glimpse at how their next big adventure got started. 

Story: Blitz Crew

Characters: Emah Keqara and Zinea

Word Count: 1270

Emah leaned over the edge of the bed to reach her game piece and moved it several spaces. “Your turn Zinny.”

Sighing, Zinea turned her gaze from the window to her friend, “you don’t have to hang out here at the hospital with me you know.”

“Got nowhere else to be,” Emah said with a shrug, “plus if I wasn't here you’d be alone sulking and that I cannot abide.”

“I am not sulking.” Emah pinned her with a stare that said she obviously felt otherwise and Zinea groaned. “Fine, maybe I am a little, but you're not the one lying in a bed waiting for the docs to surgically repair your ankle.” She gestured to her legs, the left ankle wrapped in a kolto soaked gauze and still at least a size larger than it should be. All because she fucked up.

Sometimes in the ring high risk maneuvers were the turning point of a match and the crowd always loved them. Zinea had practically made her career out of them, but she’d always known it could go wrong. Little about her attempted moonsault double foot press the night before went right. Killa Kaci had rolled out of the way, which she knew was possible, but the twilek wrestler hadn’t quite gotten out of the way enough. She’d landed awkwardly with part of her boot on the other woman’s shoulder and her ankle had just… snapped. She went down hard and it only took a moment for the ref to realize she needed medics. 

But not after Kaci had pinned her. 

A finger poked her hard in the cheek. “Stop that.”

Zinea knocked her friend’s hand away and glared at her, “stop what?”

“Beating yourself up, injuries happen. We won’t win every match. That’s the nature of the business.” Emah grinned, “that’s what makes winning so much fun.”

Laughing, Zinea reached over and moved a piece on the gameboard. “It is fun isn’t it? But Em? Do you ever wonder what we’ll do after?”

“After what?”

“After wrestling, I mean it’s not a profession that many last in long term and if our bodies don’t break down first.” Zinea shrugged, “i dont know but being laid up has really driven home how hard i am in my body - it won’t last forever.”

Emah leaned back in her chair, pulling a knee up to her chest in a position she often sat in. “Guess I never really thought it before, we’ve been partners basically our whole career but this is the first real injury either of us has gotten.”

Zinea laughed, “and let me tell you it’s no picnic.”

Suddenly Emah jumped to her feet, hitting the chair she was sitting in and knocking it back against the wall. “We should buy a bar!”

Throwing her arms up, Zinea knocked the game board off the table sending pieces flying throughout the room. “Of course we should buy a bar!”

Emah dropped back into her seat, “we should totally buy a bar.”

“Our bar would be awesome,” Zinea grinned, feeling the excitement going to her head but letting all her racing thoughts out in a stream of quick words and hand gestures “good drinks, good food, somewhere people can enjoy themselves. Oh oh oh! And the name of our bar - puzzles! People would be like, ‘why’s it called puzzles?’ THAT’S THE PUZZLE!”

Emah watched her partner waving chaotically as she all but yelled the end of her idea before almost grimacing. “That is… a GREAT name for a bar!”

“Right?” Zinea relaxed back on her pillows, still smiling at their crazy antics. “I don’t know if it’s the painkillers or not but this does sound like a good idea.”

“I think so,” Emah leaned forward, the over excited look on her face replaced with serious contemplation, “I mean you’re right. We can count on wrestling to keep us secure for the rest of our lives. Few wrestlers last til proper retirement, and it’s not like there is a pension program.”

“But what do we know about running a bar?” Zinea frowned, “I don’t even know how to make cocktails.”

“We’ll figure it out, we can hire a manager to help run it while we are on tour. Someone who will teach us the ropes.” Emah grinned, leaning forward, “and I’ve always wanted to take one of those bartending courses.”

“What in the world is all the commotion in here?” Both women looked up as a mirialan nurse walked into the room, the concern on her tattooed face evident. 

Zinea smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, we get a bit loud when we’re excited.” 

“Excited for surgery? That’s a new one.” The nurse laughed, checking the computer terminal next to Zinea’s bed. 

“The sooner it’s over the sooner I can get back on my feet, so yes I am excited to get this over with.”

“Good to hear. We’re ready to move you to the operation room now.”

Emah stood and leaned over the bed, kissing Zinea on the forehead. “A kiss for luck, I’ll be here when you get out of surgery.”

- Several Hours Later -

A mechanical beeping cut through the fog clouding Zinea’s mind. Vaguely she knew the sound was a heart monitor and it was a good sign she was alive, but it was annoying as hell. Beep, beep, beep, over and over, never ending. Why hasn't someone invented a silent heart monitor yet?

“Now that sounds like a billion credit idea almost every hospital patient has already had.”

It took Zinea’s cloudy mind a long moment to recognise Emah’s voice and a moment longer to realize she must have voiced her annoyance out loud. Groaning, she forced her eyes open enough to see her friend smiling down at her. 

“Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling hun?” 

Zinea took a moment to assess her body, focusing on the dull ache in her ankle. Surely she had the medication being pumped into her through the IV hanging next to her bed to thank for that. Once it was cut off she was going to be in a world of hurt. Realizing Emah was still waiting for an answer she looked back up and gave her friend what she hoped was a comforting smile. “I’m good but I had the weirdest dream.”

“Oh?” Emah grinned, flashing her sharp teeth in the dim room. “Do tell.”

“It was so silly,” Zinea shook her head and laughed. “We opened a bar! Can you imagine that? Us? Running a bar?” It was a mad idea, they had no business sense and were traveling more than not. How would they have time to run any kind of bar?

Emah cocked her head to the side, “Zinny you really don’t remember talking about that before your surgery?”

“Wait,” Zinea said, looking at the other woman in surprise. “Did we really?”

Shaking her head in amusement, she pulled out her data pad, “look I’ve been looking into stuff since you went under, I even found some business and bartending classes we could take off the holonet.”

Zinea accepted the datapad and looked over the list, “I guess I do have a lot of free time coming my way. Are we really doing this?”

“I think we are.”

As they spoke fuzzy memories of their conversion started to surface, the most clear memories being about how they couldn’t wrestle forever. The ache in her ankle was a stark reminder of the fact her time as a competitor was ticking. Decided, she set the pad down on her lap and held her hand out for Emah to grasp.

“I’m in. Let’s buy a bar.”

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[bobasheebaby]

125 How I Met Your Mother Prompts

More prompts this one is mega long but broken up by character. I think it’s a pretty good mix of funny and angsty. Break at 15.

Barney Stinson

1 “You know what NAME needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”

2 “A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”

3 “ It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!”

4 “Suit up!”

5 “Believe it or not, I was not always as I am today.”

6 “I realized that I'm searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”

7 “Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest boy/girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.”

8 “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.”

9 “Three days. We wait three days to call a man/woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait... True story.”

10 “There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married. 2. It’s not cheating if his/her name has two adjacent vowels. 3. And it's not cheating if he’s/she’s from a different area code.”

11 “I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk.”

12 “I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?” “I guess, because you're almost as messed up as I am.”

13 “In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”

14 “Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.”

15 “Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”

16 “God, it’s me, NAME. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of guys/girls call out your name because of me.”

17 “Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and he’s/she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!”

18 “De — wait for it — nied! Denied! We’re goin’ out tomorrow night.”

19 “Step six is called purg— wait for it. Keep waiting. Keep waiting for all of eternity only to discover that there’s no escape —atory.”

20 “I think tonight is going to be de — wait for it — lightful.”

21 “Ted, tonight is gonna be — wait for it — dary! Wait, no, that’s not it. How do I usually say it?”

22 “You watch, NAME, tonight is going to be legen— it’s the night we stole a camel! Which means it will be full of drama —dary.”

23 “I’m just gonna grab this star to put on top of the tree. It’s gonna be legend— wait for it —merry.”

24 “Haaaave you met NAME?”

25 “Challenge accepted!”

Robin Scherbatsky

26 “Oh, come on, ref! I haven't seen that much hooking go unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.“

27 “Just be yourself. Say something nice.” “Which one? I can't do both.”

28 “Before you know it, you'll be marrying a man/woman who once ate a vanilla-scented candle!” “That was on me. I shouldn't have left it in the kitchen. Though, it was lit. Man, he/she dumb.”

29 “Destined? Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny, NAME? Isn't it time to make your own destiny?“

30 “NAME was great.” “Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass.” “You mean you?” “Thank you!”

31 “Oh, we're busting apple bags? I can bust apple bags.“

32 “NAME, I am not ready for them to find out about us.” “Then you're gonna have to stay in there for the entire trilogy. Don't worry, it's only 382 minutes.” “Nerd!”

33 “You know NAME? Been thinking about it. Guess it's kind of nice you're such a bad-ass.” “It's pretty bad-ass you're so nice, NAME.”

34 “14 seconds! And already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off.”

35 “But timing is a bitch.”

36 “Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.“

37 “There's something between us. Maybe my head was saying, 'nip it in the bud', because my heart was saying something else ...”

38 “I just finished a seven-day cleanse.” “I thought you just started that yesterday.” “I finished early, okay?”

39 “NAME! I just had a great idea!” “Oh, do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up.”

40 “Okay, I've missed you. Not in a 'we're gonna make out' way, not even in an 'I forgive you' way. Just in an 'I've missed you' way.”

41 “I may not love you the way you love me, but I do love you.”

42 “But ... umm.”

43 “Why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?”

44 “Oh, that’s right. I’m alone.”

45 “I’m gonna give you summer teeth ... some’re here, some’re there.”

46 “You can’t run back to the past because it’s familiar.”

47 “Nobody asked you, NAME.��

48 “It’s one thing to not want something. It’s another to be told you can’t have it.”

49 "I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn't exist."

50 “You are going to miss out on something great.”

Ted Mosby

51 "If you're not scared then you're not taking a chance. And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?"

52 “You can ask the universe for signs all you want but ultimately we'll only see what we want to see...when we're ready to see it.”

53 "Nothing good happens after 2:00 am… when 2:00 am rolls around, just go home and go to sleep."

54 "The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid."

55 "Sorry, Peter. We're grown ups now, we can't fly to Nevrland with you anymore."

56 "I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?"

57 "People make fun of the guy/girl who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy/girl is a genius.”

58 “Love doesn't make sense! You can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.”

59 “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”

60 “There are a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.”

61 “There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the guy/girl of your dreams and the day you marry him/her.”

62 ““I’m crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say?” “Yes. No. Maybe.” “Those are the three options.”

63 “The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.”

64 “It's kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half.”

65 “Whether a gesture's charming or alarming, depends on how it's received.”

66 “Because sometimes even if you know how something's gonna end that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.”

67 “Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?”

68 “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figured, if it's going to happen it'll happen when it happens. I'm not going anywhere, he’s/she's not going anywhere. What's the rush, right?”

69 “I think for the most part if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you.”

70 “We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that in those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.”

71 “You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.”

72 “I'm sorry, when I'm excited I abbreviate words I shouldn't.”

73 “We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.”

74 “When you believe in people, people come through.”

75 “If you love something, you can never let it go. Not even for a second. Or it's gone forever.“

76 “Hey ref! Check your voicemail, I think you've missed a few calls!“

77 “Turns out, when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray.“

78 “NAME, if you asked a hundred people: 'Who's the worst person you could possibly date?' They'd all say 'your therapist', except the ones saying 'NAME'.”

79 “Sometimes our best decisions are the ones that don't make any sense at all.“

80 “We've always been a trio! We're right up there with Batman and Robin and Alfred. Romeo and Juliet and the apothecary. Salt and pepper and cumin.“

Lily Aldrin

81 “You guys dated before. That time counts. The clock doesn't reset to zero. It un-pauses from where you left off.”

82 “We struggle so hard to hold on to these things that we know are gonna disappear eventually. And that’s really noble.”

83 “You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.”

84 “I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not.”

85 “Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.”

86 “The 'no more surprises'-thing is the best part of being married.”

87 “So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital 'I'?”

88 “Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.” “Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!”

89 “So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?” “Oh, grow up, NAME, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!”

90 “I think my soul just threw up a little bit.“

91 “Your heart's talking to you, NAME. Do you have the guts to listen to it?”

92 “I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it.” “Great, then I don't care if you have an orgasm. If you care, you do it.”

93 “Who wants hot-wings?” “I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on NAME, since he's/she’s a total chicken.”

94 “I hate how you're always right.” “It's my best, and most annoying, trait.“

95 “Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.“

96 “NAME check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.”

97 “If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage, you are going to lose me.”

98 “Why not just say goodbye to the bad things?”

99 “Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a no instead of a yes, to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache.”

100 “Where’s the poop, NAME? Where’s the poop?”

Marshall Eriksen

101 “Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!”

102 “Why does he/she keep doing this? He meets them. He/She likes them way too much. He/She goes way too big too soon. He/She ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's/She’s fallen in love so many times now.”

103 “Ow! Paper cut ... Death is all around us.”

104 “This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.”

105 “It's a little late but WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS?”

106 “Hey baby, it's me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.”

107 “Being in a relationship is hard. And committing, making sacrifices it's hard. But if it's the right person, it's easy. Looking at that guy/girl, and knowing he’s/she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it's not like that then he’s/she's not the one.”

108 “Here's the thing, NAME. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in comfort and it's raining outside and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.”

109 “He’s:She's never seen Star Wars?! NAME, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars. And that's cause they lived them, NAME! That's cause they lived the Star Wars.”

110 “Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.”

111 “I’ve never asked NAME to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. He’s/She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from him/her.”

112 “Happy Slapsgiving!”

113 “This is what I miss about being in a couple. I always had someone to go to concerts with, or farmer's market, or brunch. God, I miss brunch!” “Well, I guess you could - well, you could try going to brunch alone.” “Oh, you don't think I've tried?” [FLASHBACK]  “Table for one.” “One... Couple?” “Um, no, just me.” “Really? For brunch?” “You're right. Who am I kidding?” [Leaves restaurant. End of Flashback] “Oh, the Popover Pantry! That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow?” “Of course, sweetie.” “Can I go with you guys?” “Really? For brunch?”

114 “That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.”

115 “That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’”

116 “Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.”

117 “I’m a good boyfriend/girlfriend in my sleep.”

118 “You have to let me dance my own battles.”

119 “One good deed leads to another and another.”

120 “Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs…it’s like we’re the president.”

121 “All hail beercules!”

122 “I don’t know what to do with my hands. What do I normally do with my hands?”

123 “Hey, baby.” “We hate NAME now. Get on board or the sexting stops.” “NAME’s a son of a bitch!”

124 “Are these chicken wings or angel wings? God, I love these things.”

125 “Oh, and you think you can step up to me? To me?!”

[wizisbored]

What are some of your favorite lines you've written for your fics? (Also I'm sorry things aren't going well right now. Sending love 💜)

right its time to go diggin im using this as an excuse to reread everything because i cant think of any lines off the top of my head even though i know theres a shitton

premptively putting a cut here because this will probably end up long as shit and you know what fuck yea to that because fuck yea to being proud of what youve made

SO

hallelujah, first thing i posted:

If those bastards want to make her part of their shitty musical, then she’s going to make it difficult. Or at least inconvenient.

The hive is not inconvenienced in the slightest.’

- idk if this is as funny as i think it is but i find it funny

"Nobody dies with dignity, Emma. There's no honour in the thing, however you dress it up."

- wrote that to sound creepy and now i cant decide whether i actually think its true

But he’s holding her like she’s his salvation, as if it’s his life hanging in the balance.

- salvation is just a good word tbh

It’s hopeless, but she refuses to be killed by a game of fucking ‘got your nose’.

purgatory, intended to be a shitpost but now i unironically think of it as the best thing ive ever written

After a few years (or maybe seconds, it’s not clear) / it takes a moment (or maybe it doesn’t, who knows?) / An undocumentable amount of time passes. /  They might have slipped into an uneasy silence lasting millenia - or milliseconds - if it wasn’t for the jolly tune that suddenly fills the air. / for minutes or years or millenia or maybe even eons / After a brief, indescribably long nap / But the incomprehensible amount of time seems somehow shorter this time.

- 2 in one of fucking with the concept of time and hinting at an unreliable narrator, hell yea. its about the weird atmosphere, baybeeeee

“Does one day of trying the hardest we could outweigh years of not trying at all?” Emma wonders aloud. Paul squeezes her hand.

“I damn hope so.”

He doesn’t ask if she believes in Hell.

- even without context i like this line but in context it really helped set the sombre tone so i could do a full 180 at the end of the chapter

Emma wonders whether they’ve been sent to musical hell for failing to stop the musical apocalypse

- love the implication that there is a hell dedicated to annoying people via musical theatre

“You said- you told her you’d never be in a musical?”

“Yes.”

“And then you died performing a musical number?”

“I- yeah, I did.”

“Brilliant! Now, that is stupid!”

- probably my best characterisation of death, sounds like something that would be said in a stupid deaths bit, i can hear it in his voice

teachers pet

“It’s only blatant if people know about it. So in actual fact this is secret favouritism.”

- hidgens gives absolutely 0 shits about the ethics of the situation good for him

“And if that is kidnapping, well, consider yourself kidnapped.”

- once again ethics simply do not matter

“Oh, where is your sense of adventure? Are you not curious about the results of washing baked beans?”

- this line hants me when im trying to make stew or just have some fucking beans on toast because I am curious about the results of washing baked beans

“Well, if it isn’t, and we both die, then I’ll be quite disappointed. We did spend all evening on this, after all.”

- priorities

finishing what we started, actually originally a scrapped ending idea for igtlt that i liked too much to abandon entirely

“How many bullets?” He eventually asks.

“Enough.”

- they just know what theyve got to do

Only thing left to say is a big ol’ fuck you to… God, everyone else in the fucking world. Oh, and God. Fuck you God, you prick.

- gotta love them tto refs

wildfire, almost 20,000 words of angst that im going to read through because fuck it why not

She doesn't understand the order, at least not yet; a dog doesn't understand the first time she's called to heel. But that can change. Though, from the bared teeth of this dog, the trader guesses it may take a while.

- this is actually something i really like doing in narration, calling a character something in dialogue or comparison and then directly calling them it in the narration

He understands; she doesn't want to show weakness to someone who could exploit her, doesn't want to show gratitude to someone she hates. But the tribeswoman is tired and scared and hurt, and it's obvious. She's broken, at least for today.

The loneliness, however, refuses to wane. It settles in her chest like a physical need, a craving for closeness.

- got inspiration for this description by thinking about hugging my partner while i was stuck in lockdown

"You can say that again," the older woman mutters, shaking her head. "God-fuckin'-damnit, Lauren, why d'you never think about the implications?"

Jemilla turns to her with a questioning look. "Who's Lauren?"

"She-" Molag begins to explain, then pauses. She thinks for a moment, then shakes her head. "I don't even know."

- crossover jokes hell yea

He’s tolerable, she’s decided, at least relatively so, but not trustworthy. If she could truly trust him then he wouldn’t be involved in all this. If she could trust him, she wouldn’t know him.

The thinly-veiled threat in his grin

She stares up at the man, shaking, whimpering, pleading. Wordlessly begging for him to stop.

- gotta love reaching the breaking point

She probably looks insane, bruised and bloody and laughing quietly to herself in a cage. She doesn’t care. They can think she’s insane, just as long as they don’t think they broke her.

laughing as they rediscover half-forgotten days spent as children let loose in a world that seemed so huge and yet so small at the same time

“You know, kids like Zazzalil - scrawny little things born as Autumn died - they’re not supposed to see Spring.”

- i will see any character without a detailed fleshed-out backstory and say ‘is anyone going to make headcannons about that’ and then not wait for an answer

Maybe the pain will shock her out of her head.

im going to live twice

It feels more like a bag of broken crockery than a human.

- this was the only time ive ever had to describe something really gory and decided to make it as uncomfy as possible

she notices with a concerning level of non-concern

Paul Matthews is gone, boy. And if I catch you using a dead man’s name again, well.

- its about the ✨forced disconnect✨

It stares at him, and for a moment he sees the young man that Benny used to be, silently pleading for the agent to tell him he'll be okay.

"In my defence, that was the Colonel's idea.” The man raises his hands in surrender. “I wanted to call you Lauren. I was outvoted.”

- i will take literally any chance to make a 4th wall joke and that is a threat

“I’ll see what can be done,” he assures it, knowing full well that nothing will be.

- xander doesnt flat out abuse emma in the way mcnamara and shaffer do but hes still cruel in subtler ways

“No chance of being hurt?”

Xander nods. “No chance of you being hurt.”

-  ✨foreshadowing ✨

If only he was free, free to just get up and go find Blue and tell her - actually tell her, out loud, with words - that she’s going to be okay. If only he could say that and have it be the truth.

She holds onto that piano. Right now, as she kneels crying into the tabletop, it's all she has.

- ‘sir thats my emotional support near-complete stranger’

smoke and feathers

Irony can be a cruel, twisted bitch.

- probably the best opener ive written

There’s a sort of pathetic irony in the fact that she slipped on a stone while wading across a shallow stream and broke her neck.

The stars move across the sky, and she still doesn’t know why.

- sounds poetic and all while also being a fuck you to the chorn twist because i hate it

It seems like every time she looks away the moon goes from waxing to waning and back again, time marching onwards in one unending night, swallowing one unending forest.

Even with her limited view of the person’s face, Zazzalil can see the softness in their expression. She’s hit with a pang of longing for Jemilla.

They share those tender looks that make Zazzalil long for home.

The kind of silence only shared between people who can appreciate the simplicity of each other’s presence

aaand thats pretty much all of em. i know when you said ‘some’ you probably meant less than this but i will give a consice answer to a question when pigs fly. i was going to do the double e au too but its past 1 am now and im going to bed. thanks for this ask because whether intentionally or not you just made me read 48,860 words of fic and thats a damn good distraction when things are getting a bit shitty :)

[ziracona]

THE OFFICIAL DBD STORE SELLS A HUNTRESS (and shirtless david) BODY PILLOW AND IM 👀👀👀👀👀👀👌👌👌👌

Keep ‘em comin’ lads

(Haha. I do gotta say tho Anon, if you want a body pillow for DbD, please consider getting a custom one instead. I think you’d actually like it much better! The rest was meant to be under a cut but tumblr is the dumbest shit site coding wise & I made this on mobile, which will not allow you to add read mores anymore. In past this has been no problem bc I can just save as a draft & edit + post on my laptop or edit the second I post & throw in a read-more but apparently now if you make a post on mobile you can never edit it in desktop again. : ) I love that. So fucking much! But this is going to be long now & I physically cannot fix that bc it also won’t let me swap it to html now it’s posted : ) : ) : ) fuck this site : ) —anyway! On a brighter note, here’s my pitch:

Okay! So to start.

First up. Let’s look at what the devs are offering you.

Here are the official body pillows. Now, these aren’t the worst pictures of Anna and David I’ve ever seen, but they’re not great. David’s in his default queue pose, I got no idea wtf Anna’s doing, and neither of them have interesting, good, or attractive poses, lighting, expressions, or detail. Considering this is decently funded company with multiple artists on staff and full body 3D adjustable rendered models of Anna & David on every computer there, it’s lazy as hell. It’s not even as good art as their official sketches or character renders or promo art. They know how to do the work:

They’re just being lazy.

Okay, though, but you really want a body pillow, so what to do? Well, maybe it’ll be cheap enough you don’t care about the quality too much. So, how much will this cost you? For me to ship to myself in the us with the cheapest shipping option, Anna would cost me $80.

Okay, so. That sucks. But you really want this and what else can you do? There’s nothing else to pick.

OH WAIT. Yes there is! So here’s some actually good news for ya 💪

If you want a custom body pillow, you have two options: 1, buy a custom pillow case and a pillow separately, or 2, buy a custom pillow with the image on the pillow print itself. Now, you can get the second option, but it is exponentially more expensive. I’ve seen maybe 60something-70 as the cheapest option for this, although I didn’t spend a ton of time looking. Still, if you want to go full hog, it’s possible. If you don’t mind a pillowcase/the cheaper option, though, (and many pillow cases are custom to the exact specified pillow size and aren’t really noticeable at all), it’s a good deal. For example: A body pillow can be bought at many stores for about 15 bucks. There is some variance in pricing for size, shape, and material, but here I’d like to add the official DbD site doesn’t even list dimensions for their body pillow, let alone material. So, for me to get what I want if I wanted this, I could buy a $15 pillow at a store, and then a pillowcase from a place that I could get it custom made & delivered, IE price + shipping is $30 from here https://www.etsy.com/listing/653983430/custom-21-x-60-zipper-body-pillowcase?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=custom+body+pillow&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&bes=1

So we’re at about $45 right now. (eBay offers cheaper custom pillowcase options but I didn’t want to try to vet sellers for quality & reliability making this post & this is a good price).

This leaves about $35 to commission an artist for something to put on the pillow case. Now, price for commission varies greatly from artist to artist, and full body is the most expensive base option for a single subject, but there’s definitely people offering really freaking incredible commissions at this price, and sometimes even lower. Even though their art should really be worth more than that. Unfortunately, we artists gotta eat. And a lot of the people who buy commissions are also young adults who gotta eat and don’t have a ton of cash. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So there’s a lot of people who’d be genuinely very happy to be paid for that commission even though it kinda sucks we be there. And if you want to commission someone more expensive, sure you’ll be spending more on the body pillow than DbD officials $80ish. But uh. Would you rather give the same devs who picked the most racist Claudette design they could put into the game for the most recent costume contest $80 for one of these:

Or

Spend $37 for a David of @eggchef ‘s lookin this kinda fine:

https://eggchef.tumblr.com/post/190185302972/david-and-jake-are-both-just-rich-kids-who-said

$40 for a full body Anna of @guud-night ‘s in the style they did this: https://guud-night.tumblr.com/post/185148722468/summer

Or $42 for a full body Anna like this one by @sleazy-art https://sleazy-art.tumblr.com/post/169548091038

or $70 for a full body of @guud-night ‘s in the style of this Anna seen here https://guud-night.tumblr.com/post/165476621798/the-huntress

The fan artists do better work—I mean think of how amazing a pillow could look if your heart cries for one. Vs the low-grade renders the devs be offering. They do so much better it’s like a “Look at your body pillow. Now look at the body pillow the devs told you not to worry about” meme it truly is. TBH, you could screenshot a DbD store screen with Anna or David, edit out the BG in photoshop, and already have a better 3D image than the official offering. 😂 And with an artist? 👌 Mmmmm. Anyway, haha. There was my in-depth pitch to buy from fans instead of official. I was just very motivated to *Robin Williams Genie voice* Illuminate the possibilities! I hope it may have given you inspiration for something even more beautiful than what you thought your heart desired :’-)

[welderofwords]

(In which there are several really stupid sorting alogirthms, handwavings of correctness proofs of same, and musings on general ways to construct algorithms of various "intelligence")

sorting algos

Let's talk about sorting algorithms.

A "sorting algorithm" is supposed to solve the following task: you have an array of n strictly ordered objects; you can perform constant-time access, comparison, swaps; the goal is to have the array sorted. Equivalently: a given array has n! possible permutations; in a single move we can compare any two elements, or apply any single swap-permutation, or stop; our goal is to reach the one permutation in which the array is sorted and stop there.

brutally simple

A particularly simple (and stupid) solution to the task is Bogosort: force the array into every single permutation in order, stop if it is sorted. That's O(n) to reorder the array into any given permutation1, O(n) to check if it's ordered this time, O(n!) permutations to go through, so O(n×n!) altogether. On the other hand, it's really easy to see that it succeeds: it can check directly whether the current point in the solution-space is the solution, it checks so for every single point, and so of course it will eventually stumble upon the solution itself and report it. (In general, brute force algorithms never rely on any ~internal structure~ of the problem, always obviously "work", but aren't any good at searching through huge solution spaces.)

do no harm

A slightly less stupid algorithm could at least "try to move in the right direction". For example: choose a random pair of elements, swap them if they're in the wrong order, repeat until the array is sorted. This is not quite but almost Spin-the-Bottle sort, which works in O(n² log n); much better.

How do we prove that this works?

Well, we can define some2 measure of "sortedness" of the array, demonstrate that every such swap decreases it, demonstrate that it is 0 (or otherwise has a minimal possible value) iff the array is sorted, and that'd be enough. That is: if every swap decreases the sortedness, if there are no infinitely decreasing sequences of sortednesses, and if 0-sortedness is the victory condition, then we can always keep doing swaps, and will eventually arrive at a sorted array.

A suitable measure of sortedness is the count of array inversions; the count of pairs (a_i, a_j) that are misordered: a_i > a_j but i<j.

count of inversions is a nonnegative integer; as long as it decreases, it will eventually hit 0

an inversion-free array is indeed sorted; every pair of elements in it is in located in the correct order

suppose we try to swap elements a and b, such that a > b and there are some elements between them, [..., a, x_i, ..., x_j, b, ...]. Let's count all changes in the inversion count.

if some x_k < b < a, then (x_k, a) was misordered and now isn't, and (x_k, b) wasn't misordered and now is; inversion count is unchanged.

if some x_k > a > b, then it's the other way around.

if some b < x_k < a, then both (x_k, a) and (x_k, b) were misordered, and now aren't; -2 inversions.

finally, (a, b) ceased to be misordered; -1 inversion.

so, swapping a and b definitely decreased the inversion count. QED.

there's a way

If we have an idea of a "right direction" to move in, we can try to be cleverer about it. Say, we could start from the beginning, search for an adjacent misordered pair [.., a, b, ..] and swap it into [.., b, a, ..]. Then, why not check for obvious improvements: maybe [.., c, b, ..] is now misordered. And so on, floating b as far left as obviously necessary, then continuing the search for misordered adjacents from a onwards. Oh look it's Gnome sort. (We're down to O(n²) sorts!) The proof of correctness is significantly easier3 here:

by construction, there are no misordered adjacent pairs to the left of the "current position"; every time a swap might introduce one, we check up on it and correct that

every step to the right requires only so many "propagating" steps back to the left

after we've stepped all the way to the right, there are no misordered pairs at all, and we're done.

step by step

There's another good principle we could use: pick a small subproblem, solve it entirely, never touch it again, repeat until done. A convenient small subproblem for sorting is "what element would be first in the sorted array?"; repeatedly doing that is Selection sort, also of O(n²). Correctness of that one is comparatively easy: again, we define some measure of "complexity" of the rest of the problem, we demonstrate that we can always pick a subproblem that leaves the whole problem less complicated unless we're done, we repeatedly pick a subproblem, we're done. In particular, a complexity measure for selection sort is "how many rightmost elements of the array are not yet guaranteed to be sorted?"; it decreases by 1 with every selection, until we're at 0, a sorted array.

the holy grail

Finally, we could split the problem into several strictly smaller instances of the same problem, and somehow combine them into a solution to the original. For sorting this means quicksort or mergesort; in general those are divide and conquer algorithms. Formal correctness proofs of these are somewhat finicky, relying on:

careful definition of "strictly smaller"

ability to combine smaller solutions into a larger solution

correctness in a number of "trivial" cases: at some point we need to stop recursing and solve the problem directly

what if we tried more power?

Sorting algorithms can't really do better than O(n log n). An argument goes as follows: at the start, you have absolutely no idea which one of n! orders is the right one. As you start comparing elements, every comparison allows you to ignore at most half of conceivable orders as incorrect; and to get n! down to 1 by repeated divisions, you need at least O(log(n!)) = O(n log n) comparisons, and that's that.

One big assumption the argument relies on is that all possible orders are a) possible, b) equiprobable. This might or might not hold in real life, and if you know something about the distribution of possible orders, you can exploit that to get better results than O(n log n)4.

Another one is that all constraints are as described: all comparisons are strict, there's no other way to extract ordering information than comparisons, there's no other way to reorder than swaps, etc.

you can be more efficient by choosing close-by permutations, but really, if you have intelligence to spare to optimize the order of permutations in bogosort, you can just as well do not-bogosort. ↩︎

well-founded ↩︎

To be fair, this is also a proof by finitely decreasing measure; it's just that the relevant measure is slightly awkward. ↩︎

at least in expectation. ↩︎

[argentdandelion]

No Soul Necessary: Flowey’s Happy Ending (Part 1)

Introduction

Warning: This post necessarily covers Flowey’s dark, traumatic, and sad backstory.

In many works, Flowey gets a SOUL in a Post-Pacifist timeline, and is often “restored” back to Asriel with a Boss Monster body. Sometimes, it is implied this is only way for Flowey to be happy: that it is impossible to save him, too, so long as he is a soulless flower.

Yet, as the Flowey and PTSD series shows, having a soul is neither necessary nor sufficient for Flowey’s happiness. For one thing, six human SOULs apparently wasn’t enough for him to regain love nor compassion; he only got that after absorbing six human souls and the souls of almost every monster. More importantly, though gaining a soul might make it easier for him to be happy by letting him feel love and compassion again, it wouldn’t solve all his problems.

And Flowey has a lot of problems.

Well-Supported by Canon

These aspects of Flowey's suffering are well-supported by canon.

Guilt, Regret, and Self-Loathing

After the God of Hyperdeath fight, Asriel understands if Frisk cannot forgive them, and understands if Frisk hates them. He acted “so strange and horrible” and hurt many people; Asriel believe she has no excuse for what he had done.

If the game is started up again after everyone goes free, Flowey (despite presumed soullessness) says he can’t “go through with it again” (do the same actions to achieve that ending) if the world was reset, so whoever he’s talking to must erase his memories, too. He seems guilty or ashamed at his actions: he talks about the power Chara was “fighting to stop, the power that I wanted to use” (presumably the power of SAVE) with an expression that might be shame.

Furthermore, several prompts in for the flowerbed speech, Asriel discloses he’s blamed himself for the decision to not kill the humans attacking him the whole time. Apparently, a sense of guilt and self-loathing at himself for failing Chara and getting himself killed was why he adopted his “kill or be killed” view. Yet, after seeing Frisk (it’s unspecified when; it could be at the flowerbed itself) he doesn’t regret his decision anymore. He said he did the right thing, and he can’t regret hard choices forever.

Lack of Love/Compassion/Empathy; Difficulty Forming Relationships

Flowey cannot feel love nor compassion; it is likely anything approaching empathy eludes him. This is a major impediment to feeling fulfilling relationships. Indeed, the idea he couldn’t feel anything (loving) for anyone made him “despondent”, until he eventually coped by making himself a callous manipulator who didn’t (emotionally) need anyone.

Flowey’s difficulty in forming relationships is a similar problem. Solving others’ problems distracted or amused him for a while, but it didn’t really make him happy. His lack of love and compassion, as well as his ability to rewind time, led him to become estranged from others. People were reduced to sets of numbers, lines and dialogue.

Unable to feel love and compassion, Flowey's life was surely less happy than before. The closest Flowey could get to fulfilling relationships was just amusement at others, and with time he grew tired of it. He himself likes to think “there’s someone out there...someone that I won’t get tired of.” There’s only one person (Chara) he cares about anymore, and yet he says (with a sad expression) that he couldn’t really care about them.

Despair

Given how close they were, Chara’s death alone would have been enough for Asriel to fall into a deep depression. Yet, his suffering is only multiplied by several layers of trauma from the plan and its outcome.

Flowey/Asriel believes that, in refusing to kill the humans attacking him and getting killed himself, he “failed” Chara. He expects Chara to be mad at him for this.

Flowey discloses that, when he woke up as a flower, he “couldn’t feel anything for anyone.”1 He spent weeks with Asgore, trying to vain to feel love. Eventually, Flowey became so distressed at his failure he quit and run away. He went to Toriel, but even she couldn’t make him “feel whole again”. He became despondent: he decided to didn’t “want to live in a world without love anymore—a world without you, Chara”. He spent weeks with Asgore, trying to vain to feel love. Eventually, Flowey became so distressed at his failure he quit and run away. He went to Toriel, but even she couldn’t make him “feel whole again”. He became despondent: he decided to didn’t “want to live in a world without love anymore—a world without you, Chara”. Flowy then tried to “erase himself from existence”.

He discovered his power of SAVE after this, starting ‘Pacifist Routes’ of his own and solving others’ problems flawlessly. Their companionship amused him, for a while. But, as he repeated time, he found them predictable; without compassion, he grew estranged from others and saw them as just lines of dialogue and numbers.

He killed everyone in the Underground, just to add novelty to his boring life. But eventually, he grew tired of that, too. He was surely very lonely and thought his existence pointless, but the very things he had lost (and gained) with his new life as a flower trapped him in despair.

Extrapolations

While recurring elements in works set in a Post-Pacifist timeline, these aspects of Flowey’s suffering aren’t so well-supported in canon.

Body Dissatisfaction

A recurring element in fan works is Flowey’s dissatisfaction or distress at his new flower body, and its limits.

In the Genocide Route, Flowey shows fear and helplessness at realizing he can’t feel his arms and legs and how his whole body had turned into a flower. If he had some choice in form when absorbing six human SOULs, the fact he had two big, clawed arms may very well be a compensation for his long-lost limbs. As soon as he absorbs the equivalent of seven human SOULs, he takes a body identical to his old Boss Monster one, and says: “Finally. I was so tired of being a flower.”

In some cases, it’s hard to tell whether Asriel/Flowey is dissatisfied by what he is or who he has become in that new body; he might conflate the two and separate his existence into two identities.

Flowey is neither human nor monster, but a soulless, nigh-necromantic magic flower whose existence is utterly unprecedented. After attacking Flowey, Toriel calls him a “miserable creature”. Flowey describes himself and who he thinks is a soulless Chara as “creatures” as well. In his flowerbed speech, Asriel calls Flowey not a “he”, but an “it”, and tells Frisk not to think of Flowey as Asriel, saying: “I just want you to remember me like this. Someone that was your friend for a little while.” (It’s unclear whether he means “as a Boss Monster” or “as someone compassionate”)

Parental Separation

Even in works where Flowey gets a soul, "becomes Asriel", and has Frisk as an adoptive sibling as a sort of Dreemurr Family 2.0, things just aren't the same. Chara is still dead, and Asgore and Toriel are still estranged/separated.

It must have been a shock for a newly-awakened Flowey to go back home and find Toriel’s old throne under a sheet, and to search for Toriel for so long only to find she’s as far away as possible from Asgore. Realizing his parents, who used to be such sickening sweethearts, have separated and no longer love each other is bad enough. Knowing that they separated over Asgore’s declaration of war, which only happened because Asriel and Chara died, just makes things worse: Flowey might believe it’s (indirectly) his fault.

While Toriel and Asgore are probably not technically divorced in Undertale, Flowey could have reacted in a comparable way to the kids of divorced parents. After all, kids developing mild depression after their parents’ divorce in a common response. In fact, this “mild depression” can get worse; according to Helpguide.org, some of the symptoms, “frequent violent and angry outbursts”, “withdrawal from loved ones”, and “disinterest in loved activities” sound like things Flowey would do.

Uncertainty He Even Deserves Happiness/A Second Chance with a Boss Monster Body

In several fan works, Flowey/Asriel sometimes believes he doesn’t deserve happiness, and/or a second chance with a Boss Monster body. Regardless of form, he might believe he doesn’t deserve happiness because of all his terrible deeds, and also think he’ll only bring misery to others.

To this end, he might regret going up to the Surface with Frisk, or even seek isolation. Indeed, only Frisk knows Asriel broke the barrier, and Asriel spends the rest of his short existence as “himself” by the flower patch in the Ruins, apparently unnoticed. He doesn’t want his parents to know he was alive again, and won’t go up to see them, because he thinks it would just break their hearts. Furthermore, in some works, Flowey lives an isolated life in the Underground as a sort of prison sentence for his Flowey Run crimes.

While Flowey cannot feel love nor compassion, it’s still possible he could feel guilt and regret. It’s possible he remembers what it was like to feel love and compassion, even for a little while, and wants Frisk and the other monsters to be happy even if he cannot.

He’s certainly capable of feeling irritated at people, so presumably he meant an inability to love anyone and, perhaps, a flattened and incomplete emotional range in general. ↩︎

[threshasketch]

Hey, thank you for checking out my art commission post! 

Commissions and Patreon and Ko-Fi are my only source of income right now, and every dollar helps me pay the rent, keep the lights and internet on, and (very important!) keep coffee pot full. ♥

First, a very important announcement:

Commission prices and guidelines have been revised as of 2/6/2020. All previous versions of my art commission guidelines are outdated, and will not be honored*.

*I want to make the changes here as fairly as possible, so anybody who contacted me about a commission before 2/6/2020 will still get the old prices for that commission, even if I haven’t responded to you yet. All commissions I am contacted about on or after this date will adhere to the new guidelines and pricing.

Why The Changes?

It’s become an annual thing for me to review and update my art commission guidelines, because after a year I can see that some items never get ordered and some prices are too low for the amount of time I’m spending working on them.

The prices haven’t changed much this year, and anything that has gone up, it’s because I’ve been doing commissions that involved those things and took me much longer than I thought they would. Price changes are not done to gouge anybody, but to try and be fair to myself for how hard I’m working.

As ever, I’m so grateful to everyone who has ever helped support me and my work – sincerely, thank you! ♥

Without further ado, onward, to the art!

Commission Guidelines

YES:

OCs

Child characters

Ship art (poly ships welcome!)

Specific poses by request

Pics with multiple characters

Characters from shows/comics/anime/manga/etc

Characters in outfits you send me a ref of (armor, a toga, fashionista ensemble, pink panties, you name it – talk to me)

Tasteful nudity (think pin-up style, coyly placed vases, that kind of thing)

Giant/tiny art

Different body types (I LOVE drawing different body types)

Backgrounds (not too complicated please)

Wings, horns, other non-human traits (♥)

NO:

Underage characters in romantic/sexual situations

Furries (nothing against these, I’m just not great at drawing them)

Mecha (see above)

Explicit sex/kink stuff (sorry…I’m sure there are others who will draw this for you out there)

Graphic violence

Non-con

Anti-something art/hate

RPF, aka Real Person Fiction (same thought as explicit stuff)

Closely copying or editing somebody else’s artwork for you

Drawing Styles

Coloring Styles

Pricing Info:

First pick a drawing style:

Chibi line art: $20

Non-chibi line art: $30 (complicated poses/details may be more)

Then add a coloring/shading style:

Flat grays: $10

Flat colors: $15

Gray shading: $20

Color shading: $25

Digital painting: $40 (may be more depending on how realistic/complicated)

Add any extras:

Additional character: $10 per chibi character, $15 per non-chibi character, $25 per digital painting character

Simple background: $10

Detailed background: $20

Add ‘em up and you have your price! If you want a dot chibi couple pic with flat colors, for example, you’re looking at about $45. A non-chibi couple line art? Also $45.

Specialty Projects

Tattoo design: Standard commission prices for characters, style, etc, additional $50 for extra time and care making super high res, smooth line artwork in a one-of-a-kind custom design for you. I have designed several tattoos already. ♥ Tell me the planned tattoo location and I’ll shape the art to fit and display nicely. 

(Tattoo belongs to @vibraniumarm​ , photo and ink work by Diaz Tattoo.)

Fanfic illustrations/covers: Minimum $50 per piece (Will vary based on number of characters/details, art and coloring style desired, etc. I’m an experienced big bang artist. Please check out my Supernatural Bang Master Post for 2018 for examples of fic covers I have done with links to the full art master posts below each cover.)

More examples from my own fics:

Commission Conditions

Commissions provided in digital form only. I post commissioned art on my art blog and on Twitter with the name of who commissioned it – if you don’t want to be tagged by name or need to hold off the posting (say, for surprise birthday present art), please let me know. High-res file copies of commissioned art are provided on request, no extra charge. Payment is required before I begin to work.

I retain the copyright to my work. Under no conditions are you to sell it, print it to sell, repost it without credit to me as the artist, or claim it as your own work.

Revisions will be done within reason if you aren’t absolutely happy with the work (but that’s what I’m aiming for on the first try. ♥) If in doubt, please message me and we’ll work it out!

Payment Info

All prices are in US dollars, and I accept payments through PayPal. All I need is your PayPal email address, and I’ll send you an invoice of what commission item(s) we discussed, the price, the date and other important information in minutes. Once the invoice arrives, you can use PayPal to pay it in a few clicks. 

I switched to invoices because it helps me track my earnings/tax info, as well as being a proof of a commission agreement between us. It protects everybody involved. ♥

How to Contact Me:

If you’re interested in an art commission, you can contact me any of these ways:

Send me an email at thresherii@yahoo.com with the subject line “Threshasketch Art Commission”

Toss me a Tumblr ask / messenger message

Send me a direct message on my Twitter

I’m usually around and will get back to you as quick as I can. Actual art-making turnaround time is pretty speedy, but really depends on whether the commission is complicated or simple. 

I usually have a queue of commissions lined up, and I work on them in the order they were paid for. Please expect several weeks at the minimum for me to reach your place in the queue and create your art. Let me know if you have a specific time frame you need me to work within, and I’ll be sure I can meet that requirement before taking the commission on!

Think This Post Is Long Enough? Cripes.

If you’d just like to support my work and don’t have a specific art request in mind (fhdsfkdhdsk), you could buy me a Ko-Fi as a tip or become a Patron on Patreon as a monthly type of thing. (If you’re already a Patron, bless you and I love you to pieces!)

Congrats, you made it to the bottom of the post! Thank you for your interest in my art, hope the rest of your day is awesome! ♥♥♥

[destinyweb-rising]

Hi. I'm fairly new to the game, and by fairly new, I mean I just started because I saw some of your posts through someone else and thought Evangeline looked adorable, and wanted to adopt her. Idk how I would do that, but this seems similar to a game I used to play, so I'd like to try it. I also went ahead and used you as my reference (dunno if it matters). So, how would I adopt Evangeline (if she's still available), and do you have any tips for a newbie?

hello to you! :D welcome to Dragon Hell~

using me as a ref is perfect, i assume you’re Rydander on FR? in that case, i can send her to you via crossroad without problems as a welcoming gift ;>

as for tips, let’s see... i usually play FR mostly to write lore for the characters, but i got a thing or two that might help you ;>

always remember to gather items whenever you log in for the day. at the beginning, try to spend most of your gathering turns to catch food, perhaps keeping two or three turns at best for scavenging and digging. while food might not give you money, it’s very helpful to keep your dragons well fed, since at 100% energy you recieve a daily gem reward

give your dragons familiars and bond with them everyday. they always give a tiny amount of treasure and chests when the bar is filled, probably the ‘easiest’ way to get some cash

don’t be like me and check out everyday the trading post. pinkerton gives away free items, crim and swipps trade stuff for money and other rare items, tomo’s trivia can let you gain up to 3000t per day (and if you want to get them easy, the forums have all the answers of the quiz), and god bless baldwin and his potions tbh...just stay away from roundsey, or give ‘em as little money as possible. i won once and it was when i got just two tickets, so it’s not really worth it

baldwin is yet another easy way to get items. i often keep at least one or two pieces of food per day to transmute, but you can shove pretty much anything in the cauldron and then use the slimes and sludges to create new items....and even selling big amounts of the transmuted objects is quite profitable tbh.

learn to use the coliseum quick, instead of being like me and ignoring it for months :°> always keep in your team a mage and a fighter dragon (you can check their abilities in the ‘organize party’ section of coli), aka one that starts with “meditate” and another that starts with “scratch”, with an extra third to make sure to keep fights balanced, and focus on the proper stats for them. give a mage intelligence points and stones that raise it, and give the fighters strenght points and eventually give them good attacks.a good idea for a mage is to eventually unlock enough stones to give them:- for the mages: three scholar, two discipline, meditate, aid, regeneration and two attacks of their element (my mage is an ice dragon so he has congeal and frigid bolt, for example)- for the fighters: at least one berserker and two might fragment stones of their element (but it’s way better three berserker), two ambush, scratch, rally, shred and eliminate

the fairgrounds games aren’t the most entertaining, but they’re always a fun way to gain money and spend some time too. glimmer and gloom is probably the fanfavourite to get some easy cash, if you follow the right instructions to win quickly

often check the forums if you’re in need of something! dragon trading and sharing is the best way to check some good lairs and dragons, the adoptable shops are filled with goodies (and also a great way to get cash if you’re into drawing!), the skin and adoptable shops have really good stuff... basically, explore the heck outta it B)

the encyclopedia can be very very useful :D check it out every now and then if something confuses you ;>