love how i have my asks open for cute horny dykes and yet when i get an actual ask i'm too shy to flirt on main which will be posted lmao
(dms however....i have no problem with those👀)
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432 of 2022
Relationship Survey
[made @ xanga.com/surveys_for_nimrods]
SO = significant other, I just didn't feel like typing it out!
1. How long do you wait to introduce a new SO to your parents? What about the rest of your family (grandma, grandpa, etc.)?:
All my relationships started off as friendships, so my family has known them before. And for the long time they thought we were just friends because I wasn’t out to them. They stoill don’t know about my first relationship.
2. Would you ever go on a blind date?:
No, not interested. I’m not actively seeking relationships, except for the existing ones, it has little meaning to me.
3. Would you (or have you) ever met someone from a dating site? How did it go?:
Likewise, not interested. I don’t use dating sites either.
4. How long do you get to know the other person before dating them?:
Preferably years.
5. How many people have you dated in your life time?:
Three, and I married one of them.
6. Did you count those crappy 3-week middle school relationships?:
I’ve never had them. I only had my first relationship at the age of 22 and before this age, I wasn’t even interested.
7. How long do you wait before changing your relationship status on Facebook, Myspace, etc. when you get a SO?:
I don’t use Facebook nor Myspace.
8. If you got married, would you take your SO's last name or keep your own? Or maybe do something different (like hyphenate the two)?:
I got married and neither of us has taken the other’s last name, we stayed with our own. In my country, even hetero women don’t take their husband’s names.
9. If you're a girl- Do you expect the guy to pay on all or most of the dates?:
I’m not a girl.
If you're a guy- Do you pay on most or all of the dates, and do you feel like you're a "loser" if you don't pay?:
We alternate, one time it’s me, one time it’s him. We like that.
If you're in a gay/lesbian relationship- Who should pay? And why?:
Yeah I’m in a gay relationship and I just said how we do it. I think it’s fair.
10. Crappiest date you've ever been on? Tell us your story!:
I don’t think I’ve ever had a crappy date, seriously. Maybe the reason is I’ve been dating only people I know and who know me.
11. Have your exes gotten better looking since you dated them?:
Nah, Nielsje has always been good-looking. And I haven’t seen Jay in years.
12. Does anyone have a crush on you right now?:
Maybe, or maybe not. No one wants to confess :P
13. Are you single or taken?:
Married okay.
14. Who is the friend you go to when you're having love life issues?:
Typically I’d go to Nancy because she’s a woman and might have a different perspective.
15. How long do you wait to have sex in a relationship?:
Depends on if I feel ready for it. Typically I don’t, but I end up there sooner or later. As long as he respects me, I’m fine.
16. What's the oldest you would date?:
My husband is 50. With certain exceptions, love has no age for me.
17. The youngest?:
Well, minors are out of question. I kind of have a crush on a guy who is 21, but I don’t think I’d actually date him, assuming I was single. I’d rather be a friend. He’s 11 years younger than me and might still have a different mindset. Maybe if we were 10 years older or so.
18. When you're in a relationship, are you the jealous type?:
No. My husband gives me absolutely no reason to do so.
19. Ever been used for sex?:
My 1st ex tried to do it, but it never worked.
20. Longest relationship?:
5 years and counting.
21. Shortest relationship?:
6 months because he started showing his true face.
22. What was the longest period of time you were single for?:
22 years.
23. Do you like being single or taken better?:
There’s no ‘preference’ for me. I take what life brings.
24. How often do you expect your SO to talk to you (either through texting, phone calls, etc)?:
We live together, so we talk every day and it’s normal.
25. Would you ever do a long distance relationship?:
We tried that with Nielsje. Didn’t work out.
26. What about an online relationship?:
Big no.
27. Do you like Valentine's Day?:
It’s overrated. I don’t.
28. Would you prefer a romantic SO or someone not so romantic?:
Not so romantic, just romantic on occasion.
29. Do you consider yourself romantic?:
Not at all.
30. Do you think you'd make a good SO to someone else?:
My husband doesn’t complain, and neither did Nielsje, so.
31. Are looks important? Why or why not?:
For me, they’re not. I always fall for guys I’ve known for a long time and if I love someone, they’re beautiful to me, no matter how they look like.
32. Have you ever been in love?:
Think so, but it depends how we define it. I believe love has many forms.
33. Ever had your heart broken?:
Quite so, and we’ve never been together. He did something hurtful to me.
34. Ever cheated? What has it taught you?:
No, and I’m not going to. Partnered sex, ew.
35. Ever been cheated on? What was it like?:
Quite a few times, by my 1st ex. He called me “not a real man” because I didn’t want to have sex with him, and that was his ‘revenge’.
36. What style would you prefer your SO to have?:
I don’t like people for their looks.
37. Favorite hair and eye color for a partner?:
Doesn’t matter. Again, I don’t like people for their looks.
38. If your SO slept with a LOT of people, would you be jealous/angry about it?:
Nope, as long as he is healthy and doesn’t cheat on me while we are together. The past is the past.
39. What are some deal breakers when it comes to appearance for chosing a partner?:
When they stink. Seriously, go take a shower if you want to be close to me.
40. What about personality deal breakers?:
Being a know-it-all type, overly judgemental, generalising, intolerant, cruel to others.
41. Who should propose (marriage)? The guy or the girl? What about in homosexual couples?:
Whoever feels like.
42. How long would you need to date someone before even thinking about marriage?:
A couple of years.
43. How long would you need to date someone before even thinking about kids?:
I don’t want kids, ever.
44. Could you marry someone who didn't want kids?:
Easily.
45. Would you rather be asked out in person, through text, or over the internet?:
In person. Always in person.
46. What about dumped? Through text, in person, or over the internet?:
Also in person. I don’t have respect for cowards who do it via text message.
47. When you're single, do you still fool around with other people?:
No. I have other priorities in life.
48. Would you ever lie to your SO? Even a white lie?:
Nah. I’m rather honest, and he knows about it.
49. Best first date someone could take you on?:
Either Oostende or the dunes in my town, or the Irish pub in Bruges, or Sluis in the Netherlands. These were my favourite dates with my husband. When it comes to real thing, my favourite first date was in Oostende.
50. How long into a relationship do you wait to say "I love you"? Is there ever a "too soon" to do that?:
It always baffles me that people actually start relationships without confessing love to each other. I never do that, for me it’s “the other way around”. First we confess, then we form a relationship. Doing it like most people apparently do is unnatural to me. I don’t see the point of starting a relationship without being sure what me and the other person feels.
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idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)
also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.
anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.
(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))
so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then
fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.
so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.
then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"
and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"
but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.
then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"
and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"
then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.
then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"
then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)
so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)
then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"
my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"
by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit
does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????
anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone
so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.
i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."
then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.
morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.
it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not
my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.
a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.
present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)
anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!
Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔
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this is a little pathetic but seeing the posts that radfem made about bisexual women being predatory towards women really upset me
That's not pathetic. It's never pathetic.
I'm going to keep repeating this because it really needs to be said: "radfems" that actively hate groups of women for being said groups of women are not actual feminists, they're typically gender critical TRAs that have only dropped the T who see being a "radfem" like they've collected a new identity label.
I wish I could give some amazing advice to help you not be upset, but the truth is, I'm hardened to it and can mostly laugh it off, and then other times it makes me break down and becomes genuinely triggering.
The best thing that I can offer, and say truthfully, is that there are other women that care about you. You have safety and solidarity with me and with the women I interact with. Not all straight or lesbian radfems are biphobic, they just won't focus on bisexuals (and they're never obligated to focus on bisexuals), so will still be great women to talk to and learn with and be friends with. I would just steer clear of women who aren't bisexual who talk about bisexuality constantly, because sadly, the majority of the time, it's because they're biphobic.
Don't feel "pathetic." You're a human being with very real feelings who is allowed to feel pain because biphobia isn't a joke. Feel angry that those women are biphobic in the first place. Laugh at those losers who are pretending to be feminists for internet points. That's what's truly pathetic.
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9 Reasons Deadpool is Surprisingly Feminist (NSFW)
1. Four Excellent Examples of Strong Female Characters.
Vanessa, is a quick-witted sexually adventurous woman attracted to Deadpool for reasons beyond his physical appearance. Angel Dust, literally a strong female character who can go toe-to-toe with Colossus and is not shy about her Lesbian activity. (She recognized Vanessa because she frequents that strip club.) Negasonic Teenage Warhead though meant for the purpose of mocking teenage angst, still a powerful ally in control of herself. Blind Al, a crotchety elderly person that shows how women can be just as disgustingly funny as men. Also she’s not within the typical age range of 18-24 years old, a female demographic over-represented in hollywood. (Seriously, I bet the number of women over the age of 35 in superhero movies is less than the number of times I’ve watched Brony porn. Hint: Less than three…I was kind of curious and I wanted to see what the rage was about…and no shame if you’re into that kind of thing because clearly Deadpool is–which leads me to my next point.)
2. It’s Okay for Men to Like Unicorns.
Yes, feminism means men get equality too! For example a man can possess feminine qualities (graceful, nurturing, emotional) like feminine things (pink, dolls, fashion) and still like vagina, without being called derogatory terms. Besides unicorns are awesome and everybody should like them. They are glittery war machines which look amazing while impaling your enemies. Clearly, they are Deadpool’s favorite mythological creature.
3. “Happy International Women’s Independence Day”
If you’ve seen the movie then you know what I’m talking about. (Spoilers) We all know Deadpool was kind of into it. (See every Deadpool comic ever.) Here’s a hint: lots of women want to try it.
4. Gender Fluidity
Deadpool himself is a gender fluid character. Though the plot of the movie is the classic damsel in distress, it doesn’t mean that he’s locked in with the uterus express for the rest of his life. Deadpool is well known for his wide range of sexual attraction. An example is the end credits sequence in which he shows his attraction for Ed Skrein. When was the last time you saw an action hero consensually taking it from behind?
5. “I pity the guy that pressures her into prom sex.”
Ultimately this is a nod to every female who has had the unfortunate experience of being pressured into sex (It happens more than you think.) But Deadpool is pointing out that Negasonic Teenage Warhead is more than capable of handling herself and pathetic losers should beware. Notice I said ‘losers’ in general because ya know… women will pressure people into having sex as well. (It happens more than you think.)
6. Three Excellent Examples of Emotionally Mature Men.
Wait a minute… does that mean…Deadpool is emotionally mature???? Sure it does, ultimately he’s a guy dealing with terminal cancer who uses a revenge plot and humor to cope. (There are worst ways of coping–like crack.) He never picks on the weak or powerless to feel powerful. At the beginning of the movie he helps out the girl in the skate park and does not expect redeemable sex. On Wade and Vanessa’s first date, when presented with the instant opportunity of engaging in sex he chooses…ski ball. He’s not a man ruled by his sexual desires, like so many men in pop culture are perceived to be. Not to mention, he gives the bad guys an opportunity to walk away. Feminism calls for men to be allowed to show emotions other than rage and sexual ferocity. Deadpool shows a vast array of emotions from joy to despair. Major props to Ryan Reynolds for possessing the acting chops to pull it off.
Colossus is an all-around gentleman. Though practically a walking fortress, still manages to be gentle, considerate and believes in a higher standard of morals. He tries to convince Deadpool to do the ‘hero’ thing, allows Angel to fix her costume during a wardrobe malfunction, and he is disgusted with violence. Men should be allowed to dislike violence just as women should be allowed to like violence.
Weasel is a good example too but barely skates under the wire because he’s a bad friend (Betting on Wade’s death, making fun of his appearance, getting distracted at a strip club during an important moment.) However, he is supportive of Deadpool and Vanessa’s relationship, occasionally encouraging Wade to pursue it. Or even laughing along with Wade while he goes through his darkest times. Perhaps he placed that bet against his friend because he is confident in the fact that, “He never wins at anything,” and therefore Wade is safe from death. He may be a good/bad friend but, more importantly, he’s honest about his actions. Example: “I’d go but I don’t want to.” At the end of the day, honesty counts for a lot.
7. Equal Display of Genitalia
So many times women are the ones naked on screen, which happens in this film. Mostly we get well-endowed breasts and ass, occasionally we get hints of vagina. However, there are so few times men are naked on screen. Penises…Penes?…Penii(I had to google it) are the most underrepresented genitalia in film, probably second to man butt, and then followed by vagina with hair. But in this film we get equal representations of both sets genitals. We get Wade penis and butt as well as breasts, female ass with a dildo attached, and vagina. This film is an equal genitalia employer.
8. Demonstrating the Realistic Problem of Female Costumes.
Angel Dust’s wardrobe malfunction is shedding light on a major problem in superhero films. Superhero female costumes are hella unpractical, more so than male costumes. Realistically, there would be a nip slip in every battle. Everyone one on the planet would have seen Wonder Woman’s melons by now–different comic universe I know. Take it from us well-endowed females…these things need to be strapped down when in motion.
9. Slaughtering the Box Office on Valentine's Day Weekend.
We always expect the big movie on Valentine’s day weekend is the love crazed-women dragging their obedient boyfriends to yet another Katherine Heigl movie (just kidding Katherine you’re lovely). But no…this year it was equally men and women secretly rejoicing that such an awesome movie would be dawning on a weekend that would make date night exciting. The fact that Deadpool broke records at the box office and claimed king of the weekend meant female ticket buyers contributed to the success. (Believe it or not–but women will pay for date night.) Which undoubtedly proves women can enjoy violence and butt jokes just as much as men. And at the end of the day isn’t that what gender equality means? I dream of a world where men and women can laugh at butt jokes together!
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