#just two red kids with resting bitch faces being homies

[nicosbrainrot]

Tsumi is a friend and big sister to all, Ikuto is no exception. They’d probably have really chill hang outs just kinda sitting around doing whatever comes to mind. Tsumi might not be as much of an introvert as Ikuto but she certainly likes just vibing in more quiet situations.

She’d also probably get him to go out and try new things with her. Help him get a little more used to getting out of his comfort zone while still having a good time :)

oh he definately needs someone to drag him outside to try new things he spends too much time in his room ajskflglsjfk

at first he would be really intimidated by tsumi because of how she looks & her demeanor but after he realizes she's really nice he'll warm up pretty quickly, she honestly seems like the type of person you could trust with almost anything, & he would enjoy spending time with someone who isn't afraid to try new things but is also more laid back than a lot of the friends who usually drag him out of his comfort zone

I think they could bond over the fact that a lot of people assume they're meaner & edgier than they really are, they can go out in full emo fits to just like, get ice cream or something

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 297: We’re Bustin’ Outta This Joint

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi did his best to undo all of the good vibes from the Girl Power arc by killing off Midnight. It sucks and I still don’t like it, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, Not Killing Off Your One Female Teacher Character With Any Character Development was worth 30% of his grade for the semester, so it brought his average down all the way to a C-, and so he and his report card will just have to live with that. Meanwhile Ochako did some rescuing, and the other U.A. kids lay around unconscious and/or traumatized. The chapter ended with an abrupt cut to Tartarus, where AFO is apparently just chilling and waiting for the Nearly High Ends to come bust him free. What kind of a cliffhanger is that to leave your fans hanging on for three whole weeks. Who’s suffering more here, the characters or the readers.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “okay I know you all want to know what happens to Deku and Shouto and the rest, but have you considered finding out what happens to Overhaul and Muscular and Moonfish and New Girl Character instead?” Fandom is all, “you had us at New Girl Character.” Seiji’s dad is all, “I’m just going to say a bunch of stuff to help make sure none of the readers feel conflicted about cheering on a bunch of mass murderers escaping from prison.” Tomura is all, “dammit AFO why are you still here.” AFO is all, “shhh, Tomura, go back to sleep.” Tomura is all, “wtf but you’re literally hijacking my body and continuing to shred it to bits while we break into BnHA Alcatraz to recruit your own personal Suicide Squad.” AFO is all, “:).” Real!AFO is all, “HERE I AM, EVERYONE, SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.” And then the chapter ends. Geez.

oh shit lol it’s a whole big fucking page all about Tartarus

my very first thought was “that’s a long-ass fucking bridge”, and then I went to go google “longest bridges”, and Wikipedia was all “son there are literally a hundred and fifty bridges in the real world longer than 5km, and the longest one is actually 165km”, and I was all “oh shit I really don’t know jack shit about bridges.” then I looked at the list for a few more minutes and realized that the super-long bridges were all built over land, and that the longest bridge over water is only 38km. which is way more reasonable, but also still really fucking long though?? ngl I would freak the fuck out on that bridge. what does any of this have to do with Tartarus you ask?? absolutely nothing, I literally forgot I was reading a chapter for a sec lol uh

anyway, my parting thought on the bridge is that it kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a giant island fortress prison, but whatever. moving on

and the six levels thing is straight out of One Piece lol. something tells me BnHA’s prison break arc isn’t going to be quite as fun. hmm

so now we’re cutting to “the Bronze Gate”, which is the main entrance off of the bridge, and some goat-looking motherfucker is out here trying to become my new favorite character. bro

SON OF A BITCH WHAT’S WITH THE BULLETS FLYING IN THE BACKGROUND. DON’T TELL ME THEY’RE SHOOTING AT GYGES. THEY CAN’T KILL OFF MY FRESHEST HOMIE GYGES. SURELY THEY WOULDN’T

ooh and now, giant robots!

giant robots with machine guns. “I’m very sorry I killed off Midnight, makeste” you know what, fuck you Horikoshi. thinking you can buy my affections back so easily

does Gyges have six arms??? look how fucking calm he is announcing the code red security lockdown, holy shit. GYGES

NOOOO

NO NOT BRIAREUS. THIS DAY EXACTS A HEAVY TOLL

YO, WHAT

he came there himself?? so much for making the Noumus do his dirty work. and based on the speech bubble shape and font, this is still AFO talking

uh oh what’s happening

is he using Decay or is his arm just sort of crumbling to pieces because he hasn’t had time to heal up yet? if it’s the former this prison break is going to set a record for shortest arc yet isn’t it

now we’re cutting to B10 which is apparently the lowest level. but do they mean lowest as in the least security, or lowest as in the deepest underground, a.k.a. the most security? idk it’s confusing and I think they should be more specific. is it B like in basement?? are there six levels or ten?? stupid Tartarus

anyway so the guards are talking about how Gigantomachia is scheduled to arrive tomorrow morning. heh. will there even be a Tartarus tomorrow morning

(ETA: WELL, UH.)

wow they’re talking about just killing him outright. damn

I kinda feel like “prison guard” is one of those jobs that just sort of naturally attracts shitty people. anyways yeah, Seiji your dad is a real piece of work

and he’s even doubling down on it after the other guy repeatedly keeps trying to hush him up. dude we get it, you’re an asshole

ooh and now we’re getting an interesting look at the various prisoners, some of whom look suspiciously familiar!

for starters, that’s definitely Moonfish in the upper left corner, I’m like 99% sure. not quite clear who that is across from him in the upper right, but it’s been a hot minute since we saw Muscular, so maybe?

and could that be Overhaul in the panel beneath him?? they’re not showing his face so I assume it’s someone we’d recognize, and he’s the only currently-incarcerated villain with that haircut as far as I can recall. though it seems weird that he’s not restrained more given his quirk. I thought Horikoshi mentioned in Ultra Analysis that he’d gotten it back somehow. eh well we will wait for answers

I don’t recognize the person to his left either (though she has an oddly familiar look to her?). but the person on the bottom right, next to Kurogiri... is it Stain?? the hair and body language are sure giving off Stain vibes. if someone had told the me from two years ago that I’d actually be excited to see Stain again I would have said you were full of shit. and yet here we are. these sure are interesting times

anyway so now the Code Red intruder alarm is blaring. and I gotta say, that one scene sure was effective at killing any sympathy I might have been inclined to feel for these guards lol. bring on the imminent massacre

“what horrible timing” lol yes. it’s almost as if they planned it that way

uh oh

is he omae wa shindeiruing. watch your six, Mr. Prison Guard

oh shit

WHAT DID I SAY. WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY. but nooo, you all were all, “but a bridge is more convenient!” VERY WELL THEN, LIE IN THE BED THAT YOU HAVE MADE

anyway so it’s the High Ends lol. I mean we already knew it was them. let’s just get on with it

omfg Tomura ARE YOU RIDING ONE

WHAT ARE YOU, A NAZGUL. WHY IS THIS MY FAVORITE THING

and it looks like it actually is Tomura again, too (as opposed to AFOmura)

-- is he using Decay on himself?? is that what it is?? or no wait, is this just more of the weird side effect shit that’s been happening since he Awakened. actually yeah never mind that’s clearly what it is

y’all this man is out here having a full blown argument with himself

so this is equal parts compelling and hilarious to me right now lol. like I feel so bad for Tomura, but I also lowkey want to see how far this escalates. like do you think he’d go as far as to punch himself in the face. where will this journey lead us

fucking look at this shit

other people have already mentioned this, but with this scene especially it makes me really curious how they’re going to show this in the anime. will it be AFO’s voice coming out of Tomura’s mouth? or Tomura’s voice using AFO’s speech patterns? more importantly, will it be cool and dramatic, or will it actually wind up being hilarious? or both?? never count out both

also he’s looking pretty good there in that bottom panel with his one eye just barely visible. that doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but here I am, pointing it out

also also, lol at Tomura being all, “the fuck do you mean, ‘rest’, you’re the one that dragged my body out here to raid a fucking prison,” and AFO being all, “oh yeah, lol, true true, but I meant rest after that.” yes, this man clearly has nothing but the purest intentions, Tomura. trustworthy af

this fucking guy. Tomura is your bullshit radar finally operational yet?? can you see yet that it was always his intention to use you right from the very start?? oh man I am starting to get fidgety now listening to this

so Tomura’s saying he doesn’t just want to be used as a chess piece. and AFO is all, “well okay but what if it’s a VERY NICE AND IMPORTANT chess piece.” bro DID HE STUTTER

-- AHH BUT NEVER MIND THAT, HERE IT IS, THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS OMG

GO ON AND ACQUIRE THEM THEN! omg. why am I so fucking excited. it seriously makes no sense. like seriously, ‘hooray, our old buddies, Overhaul and Stain!!’ -- come again now?? who is this person that I have become

meanwhile AFO is making all this fuss and I really don’t understand it though

why would you need to plow directly through the building. why can’t you just use doors like a normal person. it’s not like they can lock you out, like hello, you can literally turn anything you touch into dust, what’s with all the melodrama

anyway so he’s apparently hitting the prison with some sort of EMP attack now and shutting down all their systems

omg the suspense is killing me. this is going to be so badass once it’s animated, but right now all I keep thinking is “YES, GREAT, CAN WE PLEASE JUST MOVE IT ALONG”

the doors are opening ahhhhhhh come on come on come on let’s go let’s get to the excitement already

now the guards are running over to try and regain control. but, like

yeah that’s pretty much how I’m expecting the rest of this to go basically

so now they’re shooting at the dust cloud lol. well if there’s one thing movies have taught me, it’s that bad guys who wait inside clouds of dust while panicked cops blindly rain bullets at them until they run out of ammo are basically invincible lol. soooooo

OHHHHH SHIT

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. THEY ARE SO FUCKED LOL, SHIT

YEP, AND HERE’S ANOTHER ONE

is this the first time we’ve seen Moonfish’s face? I feel like we might have caught a glimpse of it before on an omake page or something. either way, it wasn’t anything I actually needed to see again. thanks...?? I guess??

okay but seriously, are we supposed to actually know who this badass lady is?? like I don’t know her but I feel like I know her, you feel?

(ETA: lol there are already like 60 different theories about how she’s related to every single character in the series. will be interesting to see if anything comes of this. although we did just get three “this villain was secretly related to [insert character(s) here] all along” reveals just in the last arc, so idk, it might be better if we pass on it this time lol.)

girl who are you. please stick around. for the love of god don’t let this man kill you off too

????

wait so is this Overhaul? boy sure has seen better days huh. but the floppy sleeves... yeah, it’s gotta be him

anyway so then the only ones missing are Stain and Kurogiri, yes?? omg. and one page left to go

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE ME HE COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS SHIT RIGHT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. FUCKING TIME-BIDING DRAMA QUEEN

AND HE’S JUST FLOATING HIS LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM ALONG BEHIND HIM SOB. THIS FUCKING GUY

AND IS HE JUST ABSENTMINDEDLY DRAGGING SOME POOR SCHLUB’S CORPSE ALONG BESIDE HIM LIKE A SLEEPY TODDLER CARRYING THEIR TEDDY BEAR. I FUCKING CAN’T. REST IN PEACE, FRIEND. GIVE MY REGARDS TO GOOD OLD BRIAREUS

so that’s it! and we still don’t have any idea what AFO is actually planning to do now, after all of that. are they going to merge bodies?? or is he going to try to switch with him?? either way Tomura’s body has to be part of the plan somehow since he keeps making so much of a fuss over it. flkhglkhlk. dammit I need answers lol

[boognish-worshipper]

Sunrise, Sunset

switching it up with a franklin and lamar centered fic (not exactly as a ship buuut more or less some one sided feelings?) jus a silly little idea i had that was originally gonna be a one shot sorta thing or whatever,, changed my mind tho n i’m jus gonna split it up, this is part one !!

i feel like lamar would be very oblivious about his feelings towards frank tbh LMFAOOO

//

Lamar and Franklin sometimes drove out to the highest point in Los Santos to watch the sunrise. Well, more Lamar than Franklin, seeing as Franklin preferred to sleep in. He often dragged him out of bed to go take Chop out and see the sun peak up from the horizon, lighting the city up with natural reds and yellows.

“C’mon you lazy fuck, we gon’ miss it!”

“Lamar, the sun rises every fuckin’ day! Trust me, it’ll be there tomorrow.”

“You jus’ a lazy bum who don’t wanna get his lazy bum ass outta bed. Man get up already!”

Chop barked, and Lamar nodded to him.

“Yeah, you right Chop. This muhfucker don’t wanna budge, huh? Don’t even wanna take his precious dog for a walk. You oughta be ashamed of yoself Frank.”

“Chop wasn’t even my dog to begin with!”

“Man fuck you, you became co-parent of him when you had to take him in!”

Franklin could only groan into his pillow, missing the blissful sleep he had been shaken awake from.

“Just go away Lamar! Damn!”

He felt the taller man looming over him, grabbing his shoulders to shake him further awake.

“We’re running outta time, fool. C’mon, I’ll let you ride shotgun this time.”

Chop barked in protest.

“Chop, it’s the only way we might get him out the house.”

Accepting that arguing would get him nowhere, Franklin sat up right, glaring at Lamar.

“For fucks sake man, fine. I’ll go. Jus’ lemme throw on some clothes that ain’t the shit I wore to bed.”

Lamar grinned widely at him.

“Fuck yeah! Chop, let’s go wait in the car.”

The small dog trotted not too far behind Lamar’s long legs. Franklin wondered what force he disturbed that landed him in this position. He sighed, knowing that he wasn’t exactly a saint, so there wasn’t much to wonder at all. If this was his punishment then so be it. The car ride wasn’t too long, especially not after Franklin moving out of Strawberry to Vinewood Hills, making it easier for them to get there. Minimal traffic because of how early it was helped too. Lamar never dropped his grin, just happy to do his favorite thing with his favorite person. Who wouldn’t love watching the sunrise with their best friend? Especially seeing the way the sun lit his face up, a delicate smile on his face seeing an excellent sunrise and- Woah. Where’d that come from? Lamar figured it was just his excitement to see a particularly gorgeous sunrise, using that as an excuse for the feeling that sat in his gut. As soon as they pulled up to the spot, he bounced out of his seat, keeping the door open for Chop.

“We here homie!”

“Mhm.. so where the fuck’s the sunrise?”

“Patience Frank, patience.”

“But you jus’ fuckin’ bitched at me for the last half hour about how we was gon’ miss it! Fuck you mean patience?!”

“It’s coming! Don’t ruin a moment that’s gon’ be special, F.”

He grunted in Lamar’s direction, turning around to go play with Chop for the time being. The sunrise crept up, a ray of sunlight hitting Lamar in the eye. He blocked the light with his hand, hitting Franklin with his free one.

“Ay Frank, look!”

The sunrise that crawled up from the depths of the horizon shone in glimmers of gold and pretty shades of orange. Lamar smiled again.

“Man.. look at that. It’s beautiful ain’t it-“ He turned to face Franklin, who was caught in a trance. The sun hit his face just right, and he looked incredible. Like some sort of focused statue or whatever. It was alright to admire your homies like that, right? Nothin’ wrong with admiring a dude. Franklin turned back to answer him.

“Yeah, it sure is.. you good man?”

Lamar coughed slightly, shifting his weight onto one of his feet.

“Uh.. yeah man, just thought I saw a bug crawling on yo face or sum’. But damn, I’m glad we caught this.”

“Me too. But I’m still pissed you dragged me outta bed so fuckin’ early.”

“Man what’d I say? Don’t bitch while we havin’ a moment!”

Franklin only laughed and Lamar felt something in him stir. It was good to hear him laugh.

“So now what?”

“Well, if we leave now by the time we get back into the city some of them diners should be open for breakfast.”

“This early in the day?”

“Believe it or not Frank but the rest of society does their shit earlier than you. So ya, people eat this early.”

They went back to the car, with Chop riding shotgun this time. Franklin wanted to rest his eyes until they got to whatever food place Lamar was taking them to, earning a snarky comment from him. Lamar wanted to pick a decent place to eat and eventually settled on an old diner they went to as kids. He poked Franklin, reanimating him back to life.

“Look where we at dog.”

“Ohh shit, this that diner we used to go to after school everyday! It’s still in business?”

“Guess so man. Let’s go!”

“Wait! What about Chop?”

Shit. Right. Chop looked at the two men, tilting his head sadly.

“You wanna jus’ bring the food back to yo crib?”

“Eh fuck it. Why not.”

They decided on some basic breakfast food and brought it back to Franklin’s place. The big windows in his kitchen would illuminate the room well enough, and Lamar could value the view from there.

“So tell me Lamar, why’s it you only wanna go see the sunrise? You never mention watchin’ the sunset dog.”

“Ion really know myself homie. One day I just started gettin’ up early wit’ Chop to go walkin’ n shit.”

“Can we watch the sunset sometime then? I am tired of gettin’ up at the asscrack of dawn.”

“That’s cuz you ain’t get yo 9 hours dog.”

“Man, shut the fuck up. Who the hell gets 9 hours at our age? Bozo.”

“I’m just sayin’ maybe if you got some normal sleep for fuckin’ once you wouldn’t be such a GD grouch.”

“Whatever you say bro.”

The two finished their food in comfortable silence, with Franklin scolding Lamar at least once or twice for feeding Chop table scraps.

“So whatchu wanna do now?”

“We could always go catch a movie or sum’, maybe go see that Meltdown movie ya boy Mike was talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Yeah, I never did get the chance to go see it, with all the chaotic bullshit goin’ on.”

They left Chop at home after a long goodbye from Lamar, telling him that as soon as they got back that he would get all the treats in the world and all that other mushy shit. Franklin mocked the high-pitched voice he used to speak to Chop, earning a smack in the arm from Lamar.

They arrived for a matinee showing at the the theater closest to Franklin’s house, getting a bunch of complimentary snacks and some drinks. The movie was awful, but in a way that it was enjoyable to watch. A movie so bad it was good. Franklin kept leaning in to whisper to Lamar how corny the whole thing was, saying that it was definitely right up Michael’s alley. He ignored the closeness between him and his friend as best as he could, but he still shuffled in his seat awkwardly.

“Hey uh, Frank. I’mma go to the bathroom real quick, stretch my legs n shit.”

“Aight, see you in a minute homie.”

His walk to the bathroom felt stagnant, and when he got there all he could do was look at himself in the mirror. What the fuck was his problem right now?

“Get it the fuck together LD. It’s just Frank, it’s nothing weird. Chill out.” He spoke aloud to himself.

He splashed water in his face and walked back to the room showing Meltdown. The movie was almost over and Franklin didn’t make anymore comments. Lamar sighed inwardly, just wanting to get out of there already, despite the whole going-to-see-a-movie thing being his idea to begin with. He didn’t know why he was feeling the way he did right now, and he didn’t know how to make it go away. Franklin leaned over to whisper in his ear once more, sending a chill down Lamar’s spine.

“Dog, this movie sucks and it’s almost over anyway, you wanna just get out of here?”

“Uh.. yeah, yeah. Chop’s prolly missin’ us right now anyway.”

Lamar drove them back this time, driving a lot faster than he should’ve been.

“Woah, homie slow down! What’s the fuckin’ rush for?!”

“I jus’.. Ion know I’m not feelin’ too hot right now and I really jus’ wanna get back to yo place. Maybe lie down or sum’..”

“That ain’t gon’ happen if we get in a fuckin’ car wreck though!”

He slowed it down a bit hearing Franklin’s concerned tone, frustrated by that feeling again. It was like an itch he couldn’t scratch. They pulled up into Frank’s driveway, Lamar nearly knocking over his recycling can, earning another disgruntled comment from Franklin.

“You been actin’ so weird bro, what’s goin’ on?”

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe the food we had jus’ not sittin’ right wit’ me.”

“Well, like you said go lie down or sum’. You wanna sleep in my bed for now? I’ll go take care of Chop or-“

“Uh sure, aight. I’mma go.. do that.”

Franklin looked at him like he had two heads, lifting a brow up in suspicion.

“Aight then, holla at me when you feel somewhat better.”

Lamar basically ran down the stairs to Franklin’s room, closing the door tight behind him. He slid down the door, looking straight ahead. Why did he feel so- so weird right now? He had a pleasant day overall with his best friend, what could possibly be bothering him?? He tossed his head back, making a small thud sound against the door. Groaning out loud, he did a walkthrough of today. He drove to Franklin’s, wanting to see the sunrise. Nothing unusual, this was a common thing they did. The sunrise was pretty, and lit everything up wonderfully. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Franklin wasn’t entirely a buzzkill when they made it there, if anything he looked tranquil, the sun making his brown eyes glow. Then what? They got food, which tasted just like how he remembered from when Frank and him were just teens. Went to a movie which they basically talked the whole way through, Franklin continuously whispering in his ear. His voice so low and close made him feel hot all over, but it was just because whispering was like that no matter who was doing it. So what the hell was his problem right now? He must not have noticed how long he was in there, because he heard a light tap at the door.

“Lamar? You good homie?”

He rushed to stand up, pretending like he just woke from a short nap.

“Uh, yeah dog, doin’ just fine. Think layin’ down helped.”

“Good. You want me to take you home or do you wanna stay here?”

Part of Lamar wanted to stay just to be around Franklin a little while longer. The other part of him wanted to run right out the door. He thought it over, and figured he might need time to himself. He didn’t think he had it in him to be around Franklin after such a strange day. At least, a strange day for him. Franklin was thankful for the fact they had one normal day to hangout without shenanigans on Lamar’s part… besides the way he had been acting up to now.

“I think I’mma jus’ head back.”

“Aight then.”

The car ride back was silent. Lamar felt like the air was suffocating him, like any minute he’d pass out. He shifted in his seat to look out the window, familiar streets coming up. He didn’t want to look at Franklin for some reason, turning away from him.

“Hey, we here.”

He sat up, getting ready to get out of the car, until Franklin grabbed his wrist. Lamar felt like he was burning him with the contact.

“Ay man, what the fuck’s your problem today?”

“I already told you, it was the food or sum’, chill out dog.”

He loosened his grip, looking unsatisfied with his answer.

“Man fine, but if you hidin’ somethin’ from me I wanna fuckin’ know.”

“I’m not, I promise you.”

“You better not be, you mysterious bitch. Remember, you dragged me out of bed to hangout today.”

He winced, feeling guilty somehow.

“Yeah F, I know.”

Lamar looked back at his house, not wanting to get caught in Franklin’s death stare.

“I’ll see ya later or sum’ Frank.”

“See ya homie.”

He turned back, watching Franklin drive away. Torn between a relieved mood, and a pang of loneliness. As he walked inside his house, he slammed the door in frustration. Franklin and him were on the same page- he didn’t know why he was acting the way he was. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he went to a last resort to get an idea of something. That stupid psychic shoutout website that was growing in popularity. At least it was free.

Hello. What brings you to Miss Marcy’s site?

fuck you think, lady. help me out here

What with?

some fuckin explanation for why i feel weird rn

Were you just with a friend?

uh yeah

kinda why i’m here to begin with

I see. How close are you to said friend?

well, he like a brother to me ig? idk

never thought 2 deeply abt it.

A family friend? Hmm… I’m seeing the letter F, or T.

damn, you kinda good. it’s f

Wait a minute, I’m getting another letter. L!

yeah! my name starts with l!

You wouldn’t happen to be… I see it now… Lamar?

woah, you really fuckin good lady.

Well, I know I’m a psychic, but I have a feeling I spoke to your friend already.

you did?

Since when did Franklin visit stupid sites like this? He felt a blush creeping onto his face, wondering if Franklin might’ve been in the same boat as him at some point.

Yes. I think I have the answer to your problem, Lamar

please.

anything’ll help

Are you absolutely sure you want to hear it?

When I spoke to your friend, he didn’t seem too pleased with what I had to say.

c’mon lady don’t be a cocktease rn i need help

Well… okay.

You love him.

uh duh

he’s my best friend

why wouldn’t i?

No, I mean

You’re… *in* love with him.

His jaw went slack. He stared blankly at the screen. What?

the fuck?

uh no

ain’t no way.

I’m seeing a long time friendship. Lots of pining.

you ain’t seeing shit lady

u got it wrong

I knew you would say this - you can be mad at me all you want, but think it over

seriously, just think it over.

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself.

“Fuck!”

He tossed his phone across the room onto his worn down couch. That didn’t solve his problem. If anything, it just made it worse. Love? Franklin? Him? What the fuck was that bitch smoking? He threw his palms over his face, groaning. He didn’t wanna think about what the fuck she meant. Because there was no way in hell he was in love with Frank. He couldn’t be. That was his day one. His best friend. That would be wrong, right? He paced around his living room, mind racing too quick for his liking. That couldn’t be the explanation for today. No way. That’s just ridiculous. There’s no way… no way he-

Then he thought about it. Like, really thought about it. The gears in his head were running at full speed now.

“Oh shit.”

//end of pt 1!!!!! this is already long as is, and i think i’m gonna finish it in another part or so. apologies for any grammatical errors ofc 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[sduswdnd]

Campaign 1 Part 3

From part 2

When last we left our adventurers, they’d delivered their wagon of crap and explored the town.  They were told that an old 90s band were terrorizing the masses and decided to help.  They also were recruited into three other money making schemes and were asked to help Orlando Bloom find the man that ghosted him on Druidr.  After scoping out the hideout, they decide to enter it under disguise.  After freeing prisoners, they encounter the Rancor, who just wants to run away.  They spot a cracked out rat and follow it to the missing wizard, Knowing he’d been found out, he starts to spill his guts about the whole crafty tale.  He and a guy named the Black Spider, who wanted to steal the Wokscraper brothers’ timeshare.  They finish looting- I mean clearing the ruins before heading back to town.  

Part 3

“Hello!  Hello?  Is it over yet?”  Korrin comes wandering in with a full flask of whiskey and a five-foot frozen lemonade.  “Hello?”  He wanders into the ruins, looking around.  He spots a body in the crevasse.  “Hope I didn’t know that guy…”

“You didn’t.”  Baze stows his blades and looks down at the body.  He notices something sparkly down in the darkness and says, “Shiny!” and jumps down into the crevasse.  

Silvan says, “Shiny?” and jumps in too.

Korrin starts to say, “Maybe check forrr not…”

“Hey guys!  It’s a shiny!  And it’s stuck in the wall!”

Gerrol looks at the rancor (whose name is Roger).  “Well, you’ve seen these guys.  They’re gonna go ‘Link’ on this whole place and crack open everything that moves.”

Roger says, “No, I’ll never get my security deposit back.  Just take what you want, but get the hell out!”

Teiris looks around, noticing a censor bar near Iarno’s quarters.  “Hey, what’s behind here?

Korrin touches his holy symbol, then moves his hands, drawing mysterious sigils in the air.  The gold glyphs shimmer in the cold air then flash, seeking the obscured area, fluttering as the energy charges and darts into the darkness, then back to Korrin, circling him before compacting together, then exploding like tiny fireworks.    

Korrin looks at Teiris.  “Porn.”

Capt looks around wizard quarters, puts her right hand in the boxes, pulls her right hand out, puts her right hand in and shakes it all about.  The rest of the group is compelled by copyright to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves about.  

Because that is actually what it’s all about.

“Found some sparkly things!

Baze looks at the sparklies, and a strange look comes over him.  “A glassy, translucent stone, Carnelian is an orange-colored variety of Chalcedony, a mineral of the Quartz family. Its color varies from pale pinkish-orange to a deep rusty brown, though it is most known for its brilliant orange and red-orange crystals. Its name comes from a Latin word meaning "flesh."  In antiquity, as well as today, Carnelian is believed to help timid speakers become both eloquent and bold. Ancient Warriors wore Carnelian around their neck for courage and physical power to conquer their enemies.”

“So you’re saying they’re valuable?”

“Dibs!”

The last loot box is found and opened, and back to town they go.

~~~~****~~~~

Silvanhost and Gerrol drag Iarno to the town hall, leading the rest of the group.  Sildar looks up, shock and surprise on his face.  “You’re alive…” he breathes softly.

Iarno looks sheepishly at Sildar.  “Hey, bae…”

Sildar struts up to him and, with a silver gauntleted hand, strikes him, yelling as he strikes:

“WHO (SLAP) THE FUCK (SLAP) ARE YOU (SLAP) TO GHOST (SLAP) ME, BITCH (SLAP)!”

Mirea and Teiris snap in Z formation.  “UM HMM!”

Sil and Gerrol hiss, “Daaaaaammmnnnn…”

Sildar grabs his collar and starts to drag him off.  Iarno starts to stammer, “Bae, I can explain…”

Sildar cuts him off.  “Don’t you ‘bae’ me.  I found your Druidr profile, Mister Glasscock.  Ain’t nothin needs explainin…”

Sildar then looks at our heroes.  “This fool has a lot to answer for.  I have to take him back to his homies, but we still need to find Clockwatcher.  I can tell you he was taken by this idiot and a Drow called the Black Spider.  If you wait for me to take care of him, I can help you get Rackstuffer.”

Our heroes look at each other.  Maik and Baze fistbump.  “It’s whiskey and wench time!”

~~~~~***~~~~~

The next morning, our heroes check their messages with the front desk clerk.  Mirea had to get her armor mended.   She threatens bodily harm if we storm the castle without her.

Traxion pulled a muscle posing for AQ.  He’d be laid up for a few days but wanted to get his headshots done at the castle too, so don’t leave without him.

The group gathered up in the common room for breakfast.  “So, no Pockmarker today.”

“No Sockwalker.”

“So whaddayawannado?”

“Didn’t those folks that we rescued offer us cash or something?”   The group stare at each other, then scramble out of the inn.

Several minutes later, they’re in front of Nards’ home.

[Editor’s note:   Nards?]

[Author’s note:  That’s what the notes say.]

[Editor’s note:   Did they hate their kid?]

[Author’s note:  eh]

In front of the home, the young man comes to the door.  “Oh, no, we didn’t actually have any money, but if you check out our storage unit, you can have whatever looks good.  I think there was some jewelry and stuff.”  Discouraged, they leave. 

Back at the inn, everyone is draped all over the common room.  

“BORED….” says Gerrol.

“We told them we’d wait to storm the castle.”

Maik repeats, “BORED…”

Korrin looks up from sharpening his blades.  “Weren’t there orcs we were supposed to beat up?”

Everyone looks at Korrin, then to each other, then scramble out the door.

~~~*~~~~

Our heroes head east for several hours.  

“Are we there yet?”

Korrin hisses, “If you don’t stop, so help me I’ll turn this party around.”

Baze looks around and points.  “Do trees grow sideways?”

They all look at him, then to the area he’s pointing to.  There were trampled trees, dried grass, and a large green screen.  

“That doesn’t look suspicious at all,” says Gerrol.  “But let’s poke it with a stick.”  He and Baze make their way to the screen and poke at it.  It falls over, revealing a small cave opening.  “Hey guys…”

Suddenly, somewhere, the battle music starts.  

They discover a lone orc at a watch post.  Baze quickly dashes behind a nearby sunflower.  “Stealth!” he shouts at the orc, who spots him, confused.  Its confusion was more than enough to give Baze a moment to take it out.   He ded.  They hide the body under the green screen and enter the cave.  

Heading into the cave, they realize caves are dark.  “Who has dark vision?”  Three of them raise their hands.  “Cool,” Baze says, attaching an LED lantern to his head, effectively blinding the other three.  Deeper into the cave, they came across another familiar scent. 

[Editor’s note:  Waffles again?]

[Author’s note:  That’s what it says.]

[Editor’s note: Is this going to be a thing?]

The scent of waffles filled the air as they round the corner.  The brunch bar was in full swing.  Several orcs were in line for fresh waffles, while others loaded up on the free mimosas.  Two orcs see new arrivals and break away from the line. 

“Hey, you!  This is for card holders only.  Did you show your players club card at the door?”

Gerrol pats his clothes.  “Yes, I have it right… HERE!” he says as he shanks the first orc and joins the one-shot club.

The second orc looks yells, “Hey, I don’t think you guys are members!”  

Baze yells, “Stealth!” and hides behind the yogurt machine.  He then dashes out, slips on the spilled sprinkles and misses his strike.

Silvenhost comes up and yells, “No cuts!” as he slices the orc once, twice, three and down.

Another orc comes up to the yogurt machine, angry that it wasn’t working.  He turns his anger to our heroes.  Cap responds with an arrow.  Teiris tries to help, but breaks her bowstring.  Maik casts entangle, and ties up the rest of the orcs charging them.  

The two floor bosses come up, one of them a large one with a nametag reading “Axebiter-Manager.”  Korrin charges the manager, but gets hurt in the process.  He says he’s gonna heal himself.  Silvenhost whispers, “Touch yourself… slowly.”  They both recover hit points.

Teiris notices orcs going to the buffet with dirty plates.  She yells, “YOU NEED TO USE A CLEAN PLATE EVERY TIME YOU RETURN TO THE BUFFET, YOU BLOUSE WEARING POODLE WALKERS!”  The orcs in the area are stunned and embarrassed, shuffling away.

Maik preps to attack but hears Korrin moaning behind the party.  He goes to heal him, “You may feel some discomfort…”

“That’s what she said!”

Silvan and Teiris notice one orc trying to call security.  They intercept him.  Teiris breaks another bowstring.  Silvan snorts at her, then strikes the orc, taking him out. 

Finally, it’s just our heroes and the manager.  Axebiter starts swinging wild.  Cap and Silvanhost keep swinging at him.  Teiris tries to diffuse the situation with a joke:

“What’s the difference between a dirty trolley stop and a lobster with breast implants?  One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.”

** crickets **

“You guys suck!”

The battle continues.  Everyone flails ridiculously, setting the salad bar on fire and destroying the yogurt machine, and but finally the battle is won.  Silvan lops the head off the last orc and ties it to his belt.

“That’s a bold fashion statement.”  Silvan twirls, then smiles.

They get back to the mayor, and the orc head gets tossed to the floor.  The Mayor screams,  tosses his cookies, and passes out.  When he awakes to everyone staring at him.

“Please don’t tell anyone I passed out, and I’ll give you 400 gold instead of 200…”

They all agree and head to the pub.  Cap gets sauced and says, “Bard!  Entertain us with a song!”

Teiris is happy to comply:

How does a bastard, orphan son of a human  and an elf, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot by the imperium By providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

With ten gold he set out, leaving his father, got a lot stronger by working a lot harder, by being a lot smarter By being a self-starter, then Rockseeker placed him in charge of an escort charter

And everyday while gold was being taken and carted away Across the fields, he struggled and kept his guard up Inside he was longing for something to be a part of The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow or barter

Then a zaratan came, and devastation reigned Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain Put his sword in his satchel, connected his belt around And he killed his enemy, the ones that could be found Well the word got around, they said "This dude is insane, man!" Took up a collection just to send him to the main man "Get your education, don't forget from whence you came And the world's gonna know your name. What's your name man?"

Traxion the Paladin My name is Traxion the Paladin And there's a million things I haven't done But just you wait, just you wait…

And the pub goes wild.  

The next morning, they go shopping.  Maik finds a mysterious set of runestones and is drawn to touch them.

“Dude, if you touch them, you have to rub them.”

Maik backs away.

Somewhere, the Ghostbuster theme starts.  They head off to see the banshee.

On the road, an unusual feeling comes over the group.  They look out and see four wolves coming closer.  

Maik says, “I got this.”  He turns into a wolf, sits down and starts licking himself.  

“Now is not the time!” yells Cap.

Maik whines then goes to one of the wolves. They start sniffing each other, making friends.  The second wolf doesn’t want to feel left out and wanders over, joining the sniffing parade.  

Teiris shakes her head and casting Thaumaturgy, causes a small earthquake, scaring off the other two wolves and lowering property values on the coast.  Yay!  No blood, no report!

Off to Aggies!  Maik starts running, dodging Silvanhost’s attempt to hop on his back.  He does allow Baze to hop on and away they go.

[Editor’s note: What’s with Baze always wanting to ride Maik?]

Cap yells, “Don’t kill anything until we get there!”

Soon, they get to Aggies.  Baze wanders inside, begins getting hosed by the spirit.  Silvanhost cuts in, speaking in Elvish.  Gerrol starts translating for the group:

Silvanhost:  So… you come here often?

Aggie:  giggles in Elvish

Silvanhost:  (holds out comb)  I think you left this on my bedroom floor last time…

Aggie:  giggles more in Elvish

This goes on a few minutes longer, and they get the location of the book the sister needs.  Back to the town they go!

[Editor’s note: Well, that was anticlimactic.]

[Author’s Note: Yeah, but to be honest, if they had to fight a ghost, it would probably be a TPK.]

[Editor’s note:  That’s fair.]

Back in town, Teiris, Silvanhost, and Gerrol return to the temple.  The Sister bustles up excitedly.  

“Did you get it?” she asks.

 “Yep…”

She jumps with glee.  “Thank you so much, have some red bull!”  She eyes them carefully.  “Have you ever considered Scien… I mean the Harpers…”

Next up:  All together now…

[twtrv]

an accurate guide about red velvet

So since so many people are getting into Red Velvet recently, I decided to make a guide to help them out. You know, give yall some slack because learning five names is super hard. A guide accompanied by my half-assed jokes, interesting. 

PSA: If you’re only here to stan the girls because of their recent comebacks like Peek-A-Boo and Bad Boy and are going to drop them as soon as they release tracks similar to Dumb Dumb and Ice Cream Cake, leave because we don’t want you here.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get straight to business (TO DEFEAT THE HUNS WHY DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS)

Basic Facts

Red Velvet is a South Korean girl group formed by SM Entertainment in 2014.

There are five members (OT4 stans can choke).

They debuted on August 1st in 2014 with a single called “Happiness”.

Fandom name is Reveluv. Since “rêve” means “dream” in French, the meaning behind the fandom name is that us, Reveluvs, make their dreams come true and Red Velvet gives us their immense love in return, thus the “luv” part. Sometimes they also call us “Luvies”.

Official fandom colour is pastel coral and not red because l o g i c

The fact that they were formed by SM Entertainment doesn’t mean they got a free ride to the top so sit your entitled asses down, thanks.

Now, you see, they weren’t actually supposed to debut in 2014. I bet you must be confused but don’t worry, it is I, your trusty homie, that is gonna help you realize how many similarities every student has with SM lmao plus the reason for their early debut.

2014 was a rough year for our buddy Lee Soo Man. Jessica left Girl’s Generation; Sulli left f(x); Kris, Tao and Luhan left EXO... This, of course, caused a goddamn World War III amongst the fans of the respective groups. They were about to go in front of the official SM building with torches and pitchforks to demand SM to step up their game. To calm the situation down, our amigo SM must have thought: “Welp I sure fucked up. How the hell do I fix this? Wait, I have an idea! Let’s debut another girl group to cover up all the shit that has been piling up for years now!” 

And your boi gone and did it. He basically debuted another group despite the number of problems he had to deal with already. This is every student ever, just make another problem to cover up the first one.

Red Velvet debuted with four members; Irene, Seulgi, Wendy and Joy. The “Happiness” music video got 2 million views in a day and was the most viewed kpop music video for the month of August in 2014. See, the queens already breaking records.

However, the original version of “Happiness” was full of controversial topics such as 9/11 being the most prominent one. This caused such hate to the girls that everyone started calling them “flops”. Lmao Red Velvet stays unbothered as the kpop act with the most Billboard charted albums bYE.

Some of you still may be wondering what the hell happened with Yeri. Well, because their debut was rushed and due to her age, Yeri, unfortunately, couldn’t debut with them. When Red Velvet debuted, Yeri was 15 years old so basically a child. 

“bUt jiSUnG fROM ncT DreAM dEBuTed wHeN hE WAs onlY FoUrteEn”

Before, there was a law which stated that kids under the age of 16 couldn’t debut.

No need to worry fellow Yeri stans! Red Velvet only released another single called “Be Natural” before Yeri was officially added. The single featured NCT’s Taeyong on it too so if you are one of those fangirls, better go and check it out because your oppar is there + it is an underrated bop.

Yeri was added to the group during Ice Cream Cake era! Of course, many people hated her, acting as if Red Velvet released so many songs and solved world hunger without Yeri. Um, bitch they had two songs take a seat.

Discography and music in general lol

IT IS GOLD!1!!!!111!!

Okay listen, every single song of theirs makes me thot-drop in the middle of the goddamn school. Jesus Christ sunbaenim is shaking.

Albums:  Ice Cream Cake, The Red, The Velvet, Russian Roulette, Rookie, The Red Summer, Perfect Velvet, The Perfect Red Velvet.

Queens of naming their albums don’t even @ me.

Listen to every single song if you want to cure your depression, clear your skin, feed your children and harvest your crops. Seriously, all of their b-sides are so amazing and such bops they are worth a listen and you, as a person who chose to stan Red Velvet, deserve to have your ears cleansed.

Another topic that I want to bring up is “the red concept” and “the velvet concept”. It is not complicated. Basically what it means is that they split their concepts into two. The red concepts are more upbeat, catchy and poppy songs such as Dumb Dumb, Rookie, Russian Roulette etc. However, the velvet concept is where they show their mature, more serious ballads. Songs that represent the velvet side are Automatic, One of These Nights, Peek-A-Boo etc.

They filmed 13 music videos so you are going to get attacked by visuals 13 times, good luck.

The members 

The most interesting and fun part of this guide to be honest. So yeah, five members and five completely different personalities. Trust me, you’re gonna love every single one of these girls because they all have such amazing personalities and are extremely funny. Get abroad the homo express!

- Stage name: Irene

- Real name: Bae Joohyun

- Colour: Pink

- Position: Leader, Visual, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocal

- She really is a bae tho we love a powerful woman

- Born on March 29th, 1991; the eldest

- She literally looks five what the fuck

- tiny

- Takes pictures of everyone and everything so that she can stare at them while she does the laundry because she is such a mom

- “Shut the fuck up I am not a mom”

- A GODDESS PLUS TOP VISUAL OF THIS GENERATION NO PRINTER JUST FAX

- loves pussy

- Drinks men tears to stay hydrated

- Forgets names of her kids aka the rest of Red Velvet

- Snorts laundry detergent

- Talk shit get hit

- Silent but plotting world domination with her at the top

- Speaking of tops, she doms bYE

- She survived the World War II and was Stalin's deskmate when they were in the third grade

- xXButtLoverXx

- Likes winning. Who got to the finish line first? Her. Who travelled to space first? Her. Who found the cure for world hunger? Her.

- Actually very talented in everything she does and is a blessing to humanity

- Stage name: Seulgi

- Real name: Kang Seulgi

- Colour: Orange

- Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocal

- Either as fluffy as a teddy bear or a fucking sex God there is no in between

- Born on February 10th, 1994; second eldest

- hER EYES MAKE ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY

- She, in general, makes me question my sexuality

- also tiny

- “Hello I am the 71st prettiest face in the world”

- First half of the “DD” also known as “Dumbass Duo”

- Someone help her she is lost in time and space

- The type of person to put a red sock to wash with the whites

- Is not capable of doing the splits because she dumb lmao

- How the fuck is one this confused???

- Gets bullied by her members a lot

- A sunshine in human form. You know that sun from the Teletubbies? That be Seulgi

- Her abs make me feel like Kylie Jenner, y’know... pregnant

- “If there’s no food I’m going home”

- THE number one fan of Beyonce™

- Pringles advocate

- She didn’t train for 7 years to have people shit talking her because she is multitalented and leaves people all around the world shooketh

- Stage name: Wendy

- Real name: Son Seungwan

- Colour: Blue

- Position: Main Vocal, English speaker

- Is also a HELLA good rapper

- Born on February 21st, 1994; third eldest

- Used to live in Toronto when she was younger, her English proceeds to give everyone a boner

- the tiniest out of all

- The kpop singer with the widest vocal range (this is an actual fact)

- “S H I N E  O N  M E”

- So caring it makes me bawl. She literally cooks for everyone and is so supportive it is truly beautiful

- Is actually the one behind the iconic “PARK SOOYOUNG! WHEN YOU SMILE I SMILE TOO”

- If she ever covers your song, you can say goodbye to it because it’s hers now

- A soccer mom

- Also that famous Kris Jenner “You’re doing amazing sweetie” meme

- Rescue her scalp someone pls

- Probably used “WHOMST” once in her lifetime unironically

- The gayest out of all the gays

- She is a boob person and also has a very nice butt Irene knows

- Once stacked a gazillion hats on top of her head because why the fuck not

- Is also a sexy pornstar ... no wait, I meant a “saxophonist”

- Is so beautiful and deserves all the love in this entire world but the world doesn’t deserve her at all 

- Stage name: Joy

- Real name: Park Sooyoung

- Colour: Green

- Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Vocal, Mood-maker

- + an actress

- Born on September 3rd, 1996: fourth eldest

- Invented “cute” and “sexy” don’t fight me on this

- TALL (for a Red Velvet member lmfao)

- Has the prettiest profile, God took extra time in crafting such a masterpiece

- Speaking of God... God is real and in a form of Park Sooyoung

- Likes finer things in life such as herself

- If the song “Me Too” was a human, it would be her

- Ruthless

- When she gets scared her soul deadass leaves her body and it is hilarious

- A dramatic bitch

- HAS THE BEST BODY SORRY YALL CAN’T COMPETE

- Can get very angery

- Probably was kinkshamed by someone once

- Is having a mental breakdown at every waking moment

- “Can you stop I’m very sensitive”

- Tom to Yeri’s Jerry

- Just the most amazing human being, an all-rounder and a happy virus

- Stage name: Yeri

- Real name: Kim Yerim

- Colour: Purple

- Position: Maknae, Lead Rapper, Sub Dancer, Vocal, Songwriter

- Is being an absolute savage a talent?

- Born on March 5th, 1999; the youngest

- The other half of the “Dumbass Duo”

- So much sass is contained in this tiny human being

- Plans to take over SM soon one day

- HAS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS LAUGH IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND IT IS SO GENUINE I LOVE IT

- Likes pineapple on pizza cancelled

- The OG Sone

- A mess

-  (ง •̀_•́)ง

- Not a big spoon nor a little spoon, she a knife

- Tries her best

- Knows everyone and everything; what a social butterfly it warms my heart

- Likes to read smut so all of you smut fanfiction writers, watch out, she is lurking

- SPEAKING OF LURKING

- She lowkey had a fan account that was all about Girl’s Generation

- A woman we all aspire to be

- Is an actual cinnamon roll that yes, could kill you but everyone loves her because she really improved a lot. WE WATCHED HER GROW UP INTO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SHE IS NOW B L E S S

Popular ships, let’s play a game where you guess which two people are paired up (not like it is completely obvious)

SEULRENE 

WENRENE

WENSEUL

JOYRI

YERENE

JOYGI

JOYDY

WENRI

SEULRI

Ending note

On a more serious note, Red Velvet is an amazing girl group that deserves so much more. I hope this at least got you to check them out. If not, your loss lol.

I could use a fuckton adjectives to describe their perfection but trust me, that ain’t enough.

Anyways, OT4 stans can fuck off, don’t comment on this post.

Just love all the girls and don’t point out their insecurities in a rude way mmkay?

This is all from me and I hope you enjoyed and that this helped you and maybe made you chuckle (maybe?)

If there is another question that you want me to answer, ask me because I would love to.

P.S. It doesn’t have to be Red Velvet related because I am trash that stans more groups than the number of bad jokes I made in this post.

Follow for more quality top-notch content.

[jamesbuckfastbarnes]

A Night To Remember.

I decided to write this in order to try and improve my smut writing, so I hope you all like it and sorry it’s so long! - red-w00dy xoxo

P.S - I don’t even know if this is nearly accurate enough in terms of losing your virginity in a bed with someone who knows what they’re doing. I lost mine to my ex best friend’s boyfriend in a field, lasted about ten minutes and was very disappointing overall for little fourteen year old me so let me know if I got this completely wrong, thank you! - RW xoxo

“Jackson Nathaniel Teller, you old bastard!” I yelled, quickly climbing off the back of my dad's motorcycle and darting across the lot to where the blonde was stood. Jax looked up when he heard my voice echo through the air, his trademark smile appearing on his lips when he saw me.“Are you ready to party or will you be going to bed at nine o’clock with the other elderly people?”

 “Hayden Packer as I live and breathe! If I remember correctly, it was you that passed out at midnight during the last party,” he smirked once I reached him, scooping me into his arms and spinning me round in a circle before setting me back down on my feet. I glared playfully as he draped an arm around my shoulders and led me into the clubhouse, the rest of the SAMDINO charter following closely behind us.

 It was Jax’s thirtieth birthday and the club was throwing him a huge party to celebrate, which was the sole reason I had spent the last six hours on the back of my father's bike to get to Charming from San Bernardino. Whenever SAMDINO had business with the Redwood charter when we were younger, I had always pestered my dad to take me so that I could go and play with Jax and Piney’s son, Opie. Even as we grew older, the three of us remained close and made it a habit of meeting up when we were all free. Unfortunately, due to my job as a medical examiner in a morgue and all the stuff kicking off in Charming, we hadn't seen each other since Clay’s sixtieth birthday party over four years ago. Stepping into the clubhouse, I was immediately hit with the familiar scent of weed, stale booze, cigarette smoke, cheap perfume and sex. It sounded like a foul smell but to me, it smelt like home. I'd spent most of my childhood in clubhouses, growing up around the club and their infamous parties, so the smell of the SAMCRO clubhouse made a ton of memories come flooding back to me. Jax flashed me a grin and guided me towards the bar where the others were sat drinking, Chibs, Bobby and Clay immediately jumping up to hug me when they saw me standing there next to the vice president.

 “Hayden, this is Juice,” Jax told me, gesturing to a Puerto Rican man with a faux hawk and tribal tattoos on either side of my head. I vaguely remembered seeing him at Clay’s birthday party but he had been a prospect back then. “And this little freak is Chucky,” I blinked a few times at the bald man that was handing me a bottle of beer, two mechanical hands gripping the neck of it rather than normal human ones.

 “It's nice to meet yo- Opie!” I caught sight of the long haired man stepping out of the hallway that I knew led to the dorms, his dark eyes widening at the sight of me leaning against the bar. I abandoned my beer to sprint across the room, jumping into his arms and firmly wrapping my legs around his waist to hug him tightly.

 “Denny, it's been too long!” he cried, placing his arms underneath my ass to keep me supported as he carried me over to where the others stood. Once we reached them, he sat me down on the bar and took a beer from Chucky. “I'm still mad you missed me my wedding but you can meet her in a minute, she's just getting ready in the dorm still.”

 “I look forward to it. But first, let’s see if you boys still suck at doing shot competitions or whether you’ve gotten better since I last saw you,” I winked, gesturing for Chucky to lay out six shot glasses and pass me a bottle of tequila before turning to Chibs, pointing at the Scot with a devious smile playing on my lips. “I’m going to beat your ass this time, Telford, even if it ends up with the pair of us in the ER because we both need our stomachs pumped.”

 “Yer on, lass, now pour them shots and lets get this party started!”

 *Five hours later*

 “Yo-you’re my best friend, Jackson, you know that? I know we barely see each other but you’re definitely my homie,” I slurred, swigging from my bottle of beer and leaning against Jax’s shoulder, waggling my finger in his face before using the tip of my finger to poke his nose. We were sat on the sofa situated against the wall of the clubhouse, having one of our usual drunken heart to hearts that we had whenever there was a party.

 “Don’t tell Opie, but I think you’re my best friend as well. Not that I don’t love Ope, but I can’t exactly  talk to him about my girl problems - it’s a little gay, you know?” he stage-whispered in response, our eyes flitting to where Opie had his wife, Lyla, pressed up against the bar and was kissing her like his life depended on it. I fake gagged at the sight of them, causing Jax to start laughing hysterically next to me.

 “Whatever happened to that bitch you were with when we were all in high school? Ugh, what the fuck was her name? Me and Ope just called her the Wicked Bitch of the West. You must remember her! The one that I got into a fight with on your sixteenth because we were dancing on the pool table to Nine Inch Nails, and she flipped shit because she thought I was coming on to you for some reason,” I quizzed, dropping my head down onto Jax’s shoulder passing him the joint that I held between my fingers.

 “Are you on about Tara? Funny story actually, she came back last year. We got back together and.. shit, she’s coming over here and she does not look happy in the slightest. Promise you’re not gonna say anything if she starts? She’s been pretty temperamental lately and she doesn’t mean what she says,” Jax said quickly, both of us turning to where a dark haired woman was storming over to us dressed in blue hospital scrubs, a look of fury on her pale face.

 “Ah, Tara! It’s been so long!” I exclaimed dramatically, throwing my arms out dramatically as if we’d been the best of friends whilst Jax buried his face in his hands, clearly not wanting any part of the confrontation that was likely to start in the next couple of minutes. Tara folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me, unimpressed with how close Jax and I were to each other. “Rough day at work was it? Aw come on, have a drink! Lighten up a little!”

 “I don’t know who the fuck you are, or why you’re sitting so close to my old man, but I advise you move your slutty ass away from him or I promise, I’ll wipe that smug look off your face before you know what’s hit you,” Tara glared viciously, tapping her foot against the hardwood floor and never taking her eyes off of me. I stood up slowly, a smirk playing on my lips as I squared up to the brunette. She was definitely starting a fight with the wrong girl.

 “Actually, I don’t who the fuck you think you are, thinking you can talk to me like I’m dirt on your shoes,” I hissed back, poking her hard in the chest which made her stumble back slightly, half of the party stopping to watch the inevitable fight that was going to break out between us. I stepped even closer to Tara so that our noses were almost touching, brown meeting blue as we stared harshly at each other for a moment. “I was in his life way before you, honey, so if I want to sit and spend time with my best friend then I’m going to, okay? Good. Now fuck off, we’re talking.”

 I turned away to return to my seat on the sofa next to Jax, only to have my head yanked backwards by Tara who had grabbed hold of my ponytail and pulled as hard as she could. That did it, the bitch needed to be taught a lesson about who not to mess with. I span on my heel and tackled her to the floor, leaning backwards onto my knees once I was straddling her and began to slam my fist into her face over and over again. Tara somehow managed to flip us over, grabbing my fringe and banging my head against the floor whilst some of the boys cheered around us at the girl fight happening in front of their eyes. With a grunt, I managed to push her off me long enough to straddle her once more, landing a hard punch to her right cheekbone before two arms slid around my waist and pulled me off the doctor. I screamed as whoever it was proceeded to drag me off in the direction of the dorms, threatening to cave Tara’s head and straining against my captor’s hold in an attempt to escape. Within seconds, I was carried into one of the rooms where I was dropped down onto the bed, causing me to raise my head to see that Tig had been the one to separate me from Tara. I stood up and moved towards the door, growling slightly when he blocked the only exit so I couldn’t go back to the main part of the clubhouse. He locked the door and led me into the bathroom, pushing me to sit down on the closed toilet seat as he took a first aid kit out of the cabinet and turned to face me with some cotton wool and a bottle of Betadine antiseptic solution.

 “She got a few good punches in there, didn’t she, doll?” Tig chuckled, gently tilting my chin up so I was staring into his ice blue eyes and proceeded to pour the antiseptic onto one of the cotton pads, dabbing at a scratch just above my left eyebrow which caused me to flinch away from him due to the stinging sensation coursing through my forehead. “Don’t be such a baby, Denny. Christ, this takes me back to when you and Jax would fight as kids and I’d end up being the one to patch you both up after.”

 “She started it! All I was doing was sitting there with Jacky, having a nice little conversation, then she comes up and starts threatening me for no reason. Not to mention she pulled my hair, I can claim self-defence if the cops try and arrest me for assault or whatever,” I scowled, my head spinning slightly from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed throughout the night but possibly due to how hard Tara had slammed my head into the floor as well. “I feel so fucking dizzy, Tig. Can you stop for a minute, otherwise I think I’m going to throw up.”

 “Let me just finish cleaning this scrape on your cheek and then you can go lie down in my bed. She slammed your head into the floor pretty hard, you’ve probably got a concussion. I’ll go see if Chibs is sober enough to check once I’m done here,” Tig muttered in response, his thick black eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he delicately ran the cotton wool over my left cheek, a soft laugh escaping his slightly parted lips when I continued to flinch away from him.

 Once I was all cleaned up, Tig pulled me up into a standing position and walked me over to his bed that sat in the middle of the room. I flashed him a grateful smile and climbed under the bedsheets, wrapping myself in the soft duvet in an attempt to stop myself shaking because of the cool air in the room. I closed my eyes to try and stop my head from spinning when Tig left to go find Chibs, falling into a drunken slumber in the Sergeant-At-Arms’ bed after curling up into a foetal position like I always did when I slept. I must have been asleep for a good few hours before I woke to the sound of Jax and Chibs singing ‘The Proclaimers’ loudly in the hallway outside the door. I sighed and shuffled slightly to make myself more comfortable, only to find Tig fast asleep behind me with his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, keeping my back pressed firmly against his chest. I brought my elbow back to nudge him gently to try and wake him up, receiving a unintelligible grunt in reply and his arm pulling me even closer to him. It wouldn’t have been so bad but my back was starting to ache, and I couldn’t imagine that my Dad, who was the president of SAMDINO, would be too happy to find one of his friends in bed with his only daughter, even if we were both fully clothed and just sleeping. A few more digs at his ribcage with my elbow and eventually Tig peered down at me through half-closed eyes, a small smile playing on his slightly swollen lips. I shifted underneath him and he removed his arm from my waist, the pair of us sitting up in the bed simultaneously with a yawn. I grabbed the cigarettes from the bedside table and lit two, passing one of them to Tig whilst taking a long hit on my own. For some reason I was now wide awake and, despite it being a dick move on my part, I was determined to keep Tig up so I wasn’t all alone because judging by the silence outside of the door, everyone had either passed out or gone to bed by this point.

 “You could have gone back to the party, you know? You didn’t have to come in here and stay with me, especially given that there were about fifty croweaters out there that you haven’t slept with yet,” I told him once we’d both gotten ourselves comfortable against the headboard, an ashtray balancing on the duvet that covered both of us and occasionally wobbling whenever we tapped the excess ash off our cigarettes into it.

  “Nah, don’t worry about it, doll. The party wasn’t as fun after you went to bed, all that happened was Chibs got into a heated argument over soccer with that Irish guy from Indian Hills and ended up punching him, Lyla declared her love for Chucky and Jax and Ope did a God awful rendition of Red Solo Cup that made my ears bleed. So what do you wanna do now? We’re wide awake, it’s six in the morning and the party’s over by the sound of it,” Tig shrugged, putting his cigarette out in the ashtray and relaxing into the pillows he had propped up behind his back.

 “We could play Truths?” I suggested, discarding my finished cigarette in the ashtray and placed it back on the bedside cabinet as Tig shot me a confused look, motioning with his hand to explain the rules of the game I had played at Girl Scouts when I was young. “It’s basically Truth or Dare but without the dares, because let’s face it, we’d probably end up getting arrested if we started doing dares.”

 “You’re not wrong there. Want me to start?” he laughed, both of us turning to face each other and sit cross legged at the top of the bed. I nodded, dreading what he could possibly ask me but coming up with the perfect question for when it was my turn. He shot me a devious grin and tapped his chin for a few seconds whilst he thought of what to ask. “Rumour has it that apparently you lost your virginity to Opie in Piney’s bed during his and Jax’s patch-in party. Is that true, or is Bobby just full of shit like usual?”

 “Bobby’s full of shit, I’ve never slept with Opie in my life. Anyway he was dating Donna when he patched into the club, she was at the party, remember?” I replied, directing my attention to the hem of my dress and began to play with the edge of it, debating whether or not to reveal my biggest secret to Tig. I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, just like he hadn’t told anyone it was me that scratched John’s bike when I was six, but I didn’t want him to laugh at me. “Actually… I’ve never slept with anyone. Dumb, I know, being twenty eight and never having sex.”

 “Hey, that’s not dumb at all, sweetheart,” Tig said softly, hooking his finger under my chin to tilt my head up so we were looking into each other’s eyes. I felt my cheeks still burning in embarrassment from what I had told the older man, but also feeling slightly relieved that he hadn’t laughed at me like I had expected him to. “It’s not a bad thing to wait, you know? Lots of people do it, not myself obviously but you’re not the first person in the world to want to save their virginity for someone special.”

 “That’s just it though, I’m not waiting for anyone special,” I groaned, leaning to the right until I fell down onto the mattress before rolling on my back with my hands covering my face in frustration. Tig lay down next to me, our feet resting on the headboard as he moved his head to reveal his confused expression. “I have four older brothers and my dad’s the president of a motorcycle club. Any boyfriend I have usually lasts about two weeks before they get spooked and hightail it out of there, and if they do last longer than that then they don’t want to take my virginity in case Dad or the others find out and kill him. It’s fucking annoying.”

 “Sounds to me like you’re just choosing pussies if I’m honest with you, Den,” he smirked, raising his arm slightly when I indicated that I wanted to lie on his chest. I rested my head into the crook of his shoulder and peered up at him, resting one hand close to my nose and draping my leg over his waist like I’d done with him when I was a little kid. It was purely platonic and neither of us saw anything weird about it, however someone else might have if they walked into the room and saw us. “Why not try it on with one of the SAMDINO members? I know Little John has a thing for you and he’s twice the size of your dad, so there’s no risk of him dying.”

 “You are joking, right? Come on, Tiggy, you know as well as I do that members of SAMDINO are off limits to me. Dad made that very clear when we had ‘the talk’, said he didn’t want me getting into one of his member’s heads or something,” I rolled my eyes at his suggestion when suddenly I was struck with an idea, Tig noticing this by the mischievous twinkle that appeared in my eyes and the devious smile forming on my face. “He never said anything about members from other charters though…”

 “Not a chance, doll, I wouldn’t do that to your Dad. I’ve known him longer than you’ve been alive, if he ever found out then it would destroy over twenty years of friendship,” he stuttered, propping himself up on his elbows and staring down at me with an unreadable expression on his weathered face. I frowned at how quickly he’d reacted, feeling slightly hurt that he wasn’t willing to do this for me. “You’re really serious about this, ain’t you?”

 “As serious as a nun in a convent. It’s cool if you don’t want to but it’s not as bad as you’re making out. Nobody would ever know about it, and I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t have a little crush on you, I can’t say the same for you but yeah…” I nodded, biting my lower lip and raising myself to lean back on my elbows and focus on the older man with a pleading look. It was desperate, I know, but I just wanted to get it over with and see what everyone was always raving about in terms of sex and orgasms in general.

 Tig chose not to reply, instead he leaned towards me and brushed his lips softly against my own in the softest of kisses. I returned to my previous position of lying on my back and reached upwards to tangle my fingers in his dark curls, pulling him down to crash his mouth against mine in a rough kiss. He massaged my lips with his own for several minutes, trailing his left hand up and down my thigh as he kept himself upright with the other. I gently ran the tip of my tongue over his lower lip to deepen the kiss. He groaned into my mouth, giving me the perfect opportunity to flick my tongue against his own and resulting in us beginning a fight for dominance. I subsided after a couple of minutes, allowing Tig to explore the inside of my mouth as he moved to lie on top of me, his elbows resting either side of my arms to keep his weight off me and his bulge pressing against my centre in the most delightful way. I tugged on the roots of his hair and bucked my hips up to press against his, the pair of us groaning at the slight pleasure we both felt from the action. He pulled away and began to trail his lips along my neck, barely ghosting the sensitive skin at the base of my throat but making me moan all the same at his teasing gesture. I wrapped my calves around the back of his thighs to grind my sex against his ever-growing erection. He leaned back on his knees and stared down at me, drinking in the sight of me lay there on his bed with my cheeks flushed and my hair spread out over the duvet like some form of halo. He shuffled back slightly and proceeded to push my dress up until it was gathered just above my hips, revealing the pastel blue french knickers I was wearing.

 “If we’re going to do this, I’m going to do it right. I’m going to give you a night you’re never going to forget, baby.”

 He slowly ran his hands up my legs, his fingers splayed out and his palms gently caressing my skin before he hooked his index fingers through the waistband of my panties, pulling them down until they reached my ankles and he discarded them on the floor next to the bed. A groan erupted from deep in his chest as he leaned down to situate himself between my thighs, peering up me with his crystal blue orbs and stuck his tongue out to lick a perfect line through my dripping folds. My hips bucked on their accord at his action, a teasing smirk appearing on his face as he diverted his gaze to my pussy and slowly began to lick faster and faster, holding my thighs to stop me wiggling whenever he flicked his tongue against my sensitive nub. After a couple of minutes he inserted one of his fingers inside me at a steady pace, beginning to move it back and forth when a moan fell from my lips. Before long, he had added another finger to the mix and my head tipped back at the sensation, his tongue lapping at my clit at the same time whilst my fingers tightly gripped the sheets underneath me. My eyes fluttered shut when I felt my stomach begin to tighten, Tig picking up the speed after hearing me moan his name over and over again like a prayer. “Come on baby, cum for me,”. The vibrations, accompanied by his fingers stroking the same spot over and over again inside me, caused my head to spin until waves upon waves of pleasure washed over me. My entire body convulsed at the sensation, my knuckles beginning to turn white and a mixture of curse words and Tig’s name leaving my mouth in a low whisper as he continued his ministrations. Eventually the feeling faded, resulting in me sprawling out on the bed and attempting to gain my breath back, a small laugh from Tig causing me to look down at him through hooded eyes and see him examining his hand with an amused twinkle in his eyes and a boastful smile on his face.

 “Are you sure you’ve never done anything like this before? Because you just squirted everywhere when you came,” Tig teased, my eyes widening in shock and my cheeks beginning to burn in shame. The smile dropped from his face almost instantly and he crawled up the bed until he was hovering over me, placing gentle kisses along my jaw. “I wasn’t being mean, doll, just merely commenting because not many girls can do it. I personally find it hot, can’t you tell?”

 “Maybe you should see if you can make me do it with this big cock of yours then,” I purred in his ear, tipping my head back slightly so he could nibble at the sensitive skin behind my ear. I reached down between us and ran the tip of my index finger up the length of his erection, slightly surprised at just how big it really was. I’d heard rumours but I had just assumed it was Tig getting girls to say it so he seemed more desirable. “Come on, Tiggy, are you going to just hover over me all day or are you going to fuck me?”

 “Patience, little girl, I don’t want the only thing you remember from this being me hurting you because we rushed it,” Tig rasped, pushing away from and reaching out to the bedside cabinet, fumbling around until eventually he removed a bottle of lubricant and a box of condoms. He quickly shed his boxers and relaxed back onto the balls of his feet, leaving me to marvel at the size of his cock. “I’m quite big, I need to prepare properly or I could end up really damaging you.”

 I continued to stare as he slid a condom over his member with expert precision, proceeding to cover the prophylactic with copious amounts of lube. After snapping the lid shut and throwing it behind him along with the box of condoms, he positioned one of his elbows next to my right bicep and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine in a deep kiss that made the feeling of want and desire begin to course through me once more. I nipped at his lower lip which elicited yet another groan from him, causing him to shuffle up slightly and press the head of his cock against my entrance. A small gasp of pain and shock escaped me when he pushed forwards slightly, making me feel my skin stretch around him to accommodate his shaft. He retreated for a second before trying again, continuing to do so but pushing slightly deeper inside me each time until he filled me up and his pelvic bone pressed against my own, telling me that he was all the way in. He stayed still, watching me carefully when I gave a slight nod to tell him that it was okay to start moving. He began to thrust inside me at a torturously slow pace, my expression slowly contorting from wincing in pain to one of pleasure as the feeling of satisfaction started to build up inside me for the second time that night. I reached around him when he retracted nearly all the way out, grabbing hold of his hips and pulling him forward so that he slammed into me, a wave of pleasure washing over me at how good it felt. He took this as a signal to pick up the pace, sinking into me over and over again until he set a pace that had me trembling at the overwhelming pleasure flowing through me. After fifteen minutes or so of fucking me in the missionary position, he grabbed hold of my knees and lifted them, draping my legs over his shoulders but never faltering in the quick rhythm that he’d settled into.

“Tig, please,” I pleaded, clinging to the bedsheets underneath us in a desperate attempt to control the overwhelming bliss that was causing me to feel as though I was floating on air. “Fuck me harder, make me come, I’m begging you.”

 “Are you sure you want to come, baby girl? You don’t sound like you want it enough to me, I think I’ll just stop what I’m doing,” he growled, trailing one of his hands down my chest and across my stomach before he reached my clit, beginning to draw lazy circles with his thumb which caused me to begin writhing under him. “Come on, Hayden, tell me what you want me to do for you.”

 “I want you to make me come, Tig. Now.” I cried, arching my back slightly as he hit my g-spot perfectly with every thrust and started to build up speed and power until the sounds of our skin slapping together echoed around the dorm room.

 He proceeded to pound into me in some sort of animalistic frenzy, his thumb still circling my clit and making me jolt with every movement due to how sensitive I still was from my first orgasm. Less than two minutes later, I dissolved into pleasure with a cry of Tig’s name as ecstasy coursed through my veins. I clenched around Tig whilst my body convulsed from my orgasm, causing the older man to thrust into me three more times before stopping still, grunting my name through gritted teeth and allowing his eyelids to flutter shut due to the same pleasurable sensation that I was experiencing. I lay there panting in the middle of the bed, watching Tig who quickly discarded the used condom in the bin near his bed and returned to lie next to me on the mattress, pulling me to rest on his chest and drape my leg over his waist despite him being completely naked. I nuzzled into his slightly sticky chest, closing my eyes and relishing in post-orgasmic haze whilst Tig stared at the ceiling above us, smiling at the glow in the dark stars Jax and I had put there when we were nine years old and his arm wrapping around my shoulder to pull me close. I shuffled slightly to get comfortable and ended up pressing myself against his side, his arm tightening around me and his other hand moving to run his fingers through my tangled blonde hair, my right arm draped over his waist whilst the other was tucked underneath me. A soft kiss on my forehead caused me to open my eyes and look up at the Sergeant-At-Arms, my fingers tracing idle patterns over the right side of his chest as he shot me a smile, his eyes heavy from a mixture of tiredness and satisfaction. I knew exactly how he felt, I was absolutely worn out despite having not done much and the only thing I could feel from the waist down was the satisfying throb between my legs. All those croweaters had been right, Tig was definitely amazing in bed. Not that I had much to compare it to, of course.

 “Did you enjoy it then, doll?” He whispered softly, chuckling slightly at the yawn that escaped my lips whilst I snuggled deeper into his side, his calloused fingers trailing softly up and down my arm in a soothing manner. “That boring, huh? I didn’t think I was that bad, in fact, judging by your facial expression you looked like you were having the time of your life.”

 “Fuck you, Trager.” I shot back playfully, rubbing my eyes due to how tired I was and failing to fight back another yawn. I genuinely couldn’t understand why I was so worn out when all I had done was lie there. Did orgasming really make you this tired every time?

 “Get some sleep, doll, you’re probably gonna be heading back to San Bernadino first thing if your Dad has anything to do with it. I’ll wake you up in a bit when I can hear people start to move around in the clubhouse,” he mumbled into my hair, smoothing my dark locks with the tips of his fingers and pressing his lips to the crown of my head softly.

 “Thank you, Tiggy. I’m glad it was you that took it rather than some douchebag,” I muttered sleepily, smiling to myself when Tig proceeded to pull the blanket over us to keep us warm. “And thank you for pulling me off Tara before I beat her to a bloody pulp and ended up in prison for murder.” 

 “You’re welcome, sweetheart, you’re welcome.” he chuckled quietly, loosening his grip slightly so we were both comfortable before I fell into a deep slumber for the second time that evening. Had I stayed awake a little bit longer, I probably would have heard him whisper ‘I love you, doll’, but I was asleep, and the next day I’d return to San Bernadino no longer a virgin and never knowing how Tig actually felt about me. Oh how life was cruel.

[drunkenvigors]

These are kinda therapeutic for me (I’m going to skip some of them cause there’s a lot though!) sorry if you somehow know me irl and see this

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I would love to be at least 5’6

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) I already have my dream pets and I love them with my entire being

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? No I switch between so many I never look the same lmao

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Don’t make me answer this it’s too hard to think of, nextttt.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 8:30pm (my fave time of day), mashed potatoes, and the rest of my brain goes into oblivion idk

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? I care too much or not at all there’s no inbetween beware I could scare u off or piss u off take ur pick

9: Are you ticklish? Everywhere on me is ticklish unfortunately but you can get a free pass to tickle me for 1min if I think you’re cute, otherwise take ya hands off the merchandise stupid bitch.

10: Are you allergic to anything? Being social

11: What’s your sexuality? I am pansexual but due to being bullied about it I tell everyone I’m Bi.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? This is a choice nobody should have to make.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? I am a regular person that loves them both

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Short enough to pass as an elf so why not 🧝‍♀️

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? David Dobrik, hes entertainment for when I’m eating snacks

16: How tall are you? Mind ya business.. 5feet...

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Tee, that’s what I go by anyways so considered it changed

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Yes and no.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? How about neither because they’re big cluster fucks of the unknown and that in itself is terrifying

22: Pet peeves? Letting me get attached and talking to me then leaving me hanging without any fucking explanation like um lmao you suck

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? I’m nocturnal for sure

24: Favorite constellation? Dis pussy

25: Favorite star? Ur moms pussy

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? This sounds sexual

27: Any phobias or fears? Too many dots/holes in the same area, I’ll actually vomit.

28: Do you think global warming is real? OBVIOUSLY

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Eeeehhhh I guess. I believe in a lot of different theories that I’ve thought of myself, I don’t care what other people think about these things because I’d like to stay true to my own thoughts.

30: Favorite movie? Spirited Away

31: Do you get scared easily? Not really

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Too much math brb

34: What is a color that calms you? Red yay

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? ... don’t make me say it because I won’t

36: Where were you born? In a Jesus piece praise

37: What is your eye color? Poop

38: Introvert or extrovert? Both depending on the day

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Yea & if you don’t we probably won’t get along very well

40: Hugs or kisses? I’m definitely a hugger

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? There’s a very kind soul I’m dying to meet

42: Who is someone you love deeply? Tiger (my cat)

43: Any piercings you want? My bridge

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? This is hilarious if you’ve never seen me before

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? No smh are u kidding me that shits for the birds ya’heard weed will kill ya ;’(

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Godddd fucking DAMN he is so nice to me. Better than the stupid fuck people I tried to take care of around my area. These circumstances really suck.

47: What is a sound you really hate? There’s a couple people in mind that when they talk I would love to just shove a sock down their throat

48: A sound you really love? A skateboard on the pavement

49: Can you do a backflip? Fuk off maybe I’ll try to after doing this post

50: Can you do the splits? Used to

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Myself when I need to get out of certain situations due to excessive anxiety but not wanting to show my real emotions, you feel?

53: How are you feeling right now? Would be better if I wasn’t here rn

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Exactly how it is

55: When did you feel happiest? When I get attention from the person I want it from, stupid romantic bullshit that doesn’t even matter

56: Something that calms you down? Probably my sister because we can laugh anything off together and I mean ANYTHING

57: Have any mental disorders? I can’t count them all on one hand

58: What does your URL mean? It’s from a hopsin song and Bioshock infinite. Good luck figuring it out

59: What three words describe you the most? Confusing, loud, quiet, and I’ll add one more, contradiction

60: Do you believe in evolution? Well.. how do you think we’re humans rn, we came from monkeys or whatever

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? If they post stupid ads or things that’ll try to pursue you into doing something

62: What makes you follow a blog? If it fits my aesthetic

63: Favorite kind of person: funny

64: Favorite animal(s): 🐨

66: Favorite emoticon: 🖤

67: Favorite meme: disgusteng

69: What is your star sign? TAURUS BAAAABYYYY 😍

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No but I can so wassup dâddÿ

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? I have too many to pick

72: Post a selfie or two? How about no because I’m ugly lmao tf

73: Do you have platform shoes? NO I SHOULD GET SOME TBH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I’ve pissed myself while drunk too many times to count, do as you wish with this information because I find it hilarious & I’m glad I don’t have an alcohol problem anymore lol

75: Can you do a front flip? Actually, yes, yes I can

76: Do you like birds? Don’t hate me for this but no I really don’t

77: Do you like to swim? Yessss

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Ice skating

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist: a green sky and a purple moon

81: Piercings you have? Lip, nose, ears, nipple (yes only one of them lmao)

82: Something you really enjoy doing: sucking my own dick for attention

83: Favorite person to talk to: myself in the mirror

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Idk I was so young when I made this blog I can’t recall

85: How many followers do you have? Idk does it even matter

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? I smoke far too many cigarettes for that

87: Do your socks always match? Never

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? No wtf you thought I was fit? Nexxxttt

89: What are your birthstones? Emerald

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Koala

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Lillies, sunflowers, or buttercup flowers

92: A store you hate? Aerocrombie or however you fuckin spell it

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 6 or 7

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds but I would probably end up killing myself knowing all the bad things people think of me

95: Do you like to wear camo? Sometimes

96: Winter or summer? Summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 326183621

98: Least favorite person? Andrew lol fuck you.

99: Someone you look up to: my homies that have passed away, I look up to them every day

100: A store you love? I like to order things

101: Favorite type of shoes? VANS

102: Where do you live? Doesn’t matter smh

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nnnooo

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Shiet

105: Do you drink milk? Milk drinks me glug glug bitch

106: Do you like bugs? NAH

107: Do you like spiders? NEGATIVE

108: Something you get paranoid about? Crack

109: Can you draw: if I try

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? Mannnnn idk

111: A question you hate being asked? Anything about my dead homies makes me at least a little uncomfortable

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? No

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Obviously

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Sunny but not burning hot sunny u feel me

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: who told u this information

THIS IS LONG

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruit salad perhaps

121: Something you want to do right now: Get tf out of here

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky for sure

123: Sweet or sour foods? I eat sweets to confuse the demons inhabiting this body

124: Bright or dim lights? Dimmadomedim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Bitch u really thought dragons aren’t real

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: everyone is so sensitive bro then y’all gang up and bully someone for something so small & meaningless as if you have nothing better to do with yourselves

127: Something you love about Tumblr: nobody really knows me here & if you do then hey hi wassup I trust you 🖤

128: What do you think about the least? Sheesh I have adhd next question please

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? She was a bitch but she was a lit bitch

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Fuck violence

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My mind

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Ehhhhh on occasion

133: Computer or TV? Tv

134: Do you like roller coasters? Naaah son

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Lobed thank god

137: Do you believe in karma? HAH YES, she been slacking though💀👀

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 3 tbh

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? People used to call me gauges and I am so glad that stage is over

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Oh, you mean schizophrenia because yes

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? For years, then I dipped out because I know I can’t be cured from mental instability

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Bad bad baaaad yikes

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving

144: What makes you angry? When people play with me or attention seeking people, I really hate some of y’all cry baby asses fr

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? one sadly

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? All of the above

147: Are you androgynous? Have you seen me because lmao

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: I can’t even pick one because I genuinely hate myself and how I look

149: Favorite thing about your personality: my what now 💀

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person: Jeremy McKinnon I want to tell him thank you. That’s it I guess

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? Um probably none

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Oooooofff I used to years ago but shit I’m over it now

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] my what

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? NO I AM NOT THE MOM FRIEND

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Not unless you’re my actual partner and even then I don’t really like to

156: What embarrasses you? Being outside

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: speaking/existing

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: I love you

159: How many people are you following? Idk prob a lot

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? I’ve had this since I was 12 or something I really don’t know

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? IDFKKK

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? WHAT