#just to make a dumb joke that isn't even that funny

[mortal-ethos]

I especially hate the humour one because my concept of what's supposed to be funny is so broken from others telling me that I don't get jokes. I have no idea what constitutes "funny" for most ppl, and the majority of "jokes" I hear everyday are some version of racist/transphobic/sexist/homophobic/ableist and most ppl don't want to accept that, so I'm the buzzkill when I don't respond with uproarious laughter and try to get them to *explain why it's funny* (which is one of my favorite things because even if the other person thinks I'm dumb, I get to make them feel dumber by pointing out exactly why their joke isn't funny)

No I got your "joke" it just wasn't as funny of a joke as you already are

One of my favourite parts about autistic people is how you can use other peoples' reflections of them like an echolocation bullshit detector. Like they personally do not need to do shit for this to work, they just passively emit their own autistic vibe that bounces off every surface around them, and you can assess another person's level of self-awareness by how they reflect it back.

"Autistic people do not understand social hierarchy" nope, they understand you're supposed to be an authority here, but they won't politely pretend to respect you if they think you're incompetent.

"Autistic people do not understand humour" nope, they just don't politely pretend to laugh to humour you, and you are simply not funny.

"Autistic people are rude" nope, they just don't think it's polite to lie to you, and don't care about trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of telling you what they think.

"Autistic people sometimes have emotional meltdowns for absolutely no reason" nope, you're just insufferable to be around and the person with the lowest tolerance of your shit is simply the canary in the coal mine who breaks first.

[nocek]

Peter annoying Miguel is the funniest thing but throwing Deadpool at him is like throwing annoyance equivalent if a nuke and I live for it XD

I'm totally accepting the fanon that there may be multiverse out there but there is only one Deadpool as a gospel <3

[purezentomaiku]

everyone saying "are you sure that wasnt a scrapped episode" on the last post are living in a beautiful world where television from the aughts would have allowed a gay kiss on daytime television

[kiss-dumbbunnies]

they visited australia to pay nate a visit for his birthday :)

extra text details under cut

nate, kess, and benjie have been good buddies since they were kids! nate had to move back to the ol' aussieland pretty early in their lives. they still usually kept in touch online, though!

apparently, nate and benjie had a bit of a falling out that kess was unaware of, and they hadn't spoken in quite some time. they seem to have reconciled, though...

they decided they'd all pitch in to pay for some tickets, and kick him out of his house for a few hours to prepare a super surprise party for his birthday!! :)

they had a lot of fun. he told them all about his wonderful [sic] adventures during his time in the outback. avery had no clue what he was saying half the time as she'd never once in her life encountered a man who could speak "english" without speaking english at all the whole time. she was awestruck. it was mesmerizing. devon didn't care because the girls were paying more attention to nate than himself. but he tried to be polite the whole time.

benjie and nate seem to be at least on good terms again. they had fun. avery had never seen so many different techniques for spider-killing and marsupial-clobbering. she vowed that the only time she would ever return to this country would be to study under his wing and/or marry him.

benjie and devon were sent to go get the tickets for the ride home while the girls stayed back and chilled with nate for a bit. it had only then dawned upon them that, caught up in their excitement of the idea of visiting a foreign land, they had completely forgotten that they had to pay for tickets to their destination AND the ride back. not only that, they had no local currency with them and no idea how to access their bank accounts without their cards. avery also probably forgot her passport somewhere in the bush. whoops! go figure!! haha!!! what will these crazy critters do to get themselves out of THIS sticky wicket??!!

[gojonanami]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY.

↳ JJK MEN: HOW THEY FUCK YOU WHEN THEY'RE JEALOUS

↳ feat. satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo, yuta okkotsu

cw: 18+ only, nsfw, overstimulation (f!), dick drunk, orgasm delay (f!), riding, semi-exhibitionism, spanking, teasing, dom! geto, soft dom! nanami, breeding, body worship, pleasure dom! choso, unprotected sex, creampie, marking, oral (f!), fingering (f!), facesitting (f!), marking (f!), geto uses the term "monkeys," degradation (slut) in geto's blurb, ijichi and ino mentioned in gojo's and choso's blurbs respectively, a/n: the only way to read the title is to the tune of olivia rodrigo's song. also its my first time writing yuta - be gentle.

SATORU GOJO | overstimulation, dick drunk, orgasm delay

jealous of laughing at another's joke

"T-Toru, ngh, please, I can't—" and you're only met with a laugh, his lips pressed against your neck, as his cock continued to fuck you.

How many times had you cum? You had lost count. Your cunt was soaked with your release, along with your thighs and his cock, slipping down his skin as he fucked you hard and fast.

He was relentless, maybe limitless, especially today.

"You can handle it, sweetheart, know this little cunt can take it," he's grunting, as his fingers dig into your plush thighs, "haven't broken this pussy yet," and you couldn't bring yourself to be concerned about the "yet" as he brought you to cum yet again, and you were sure if every word hadn't been fucked out of your brain— it had now.

Your eyes were glazed over, fucked out, as you stared up at him, as only pauses a moment, to press your thighs to your chest, "gonna fuck you right, baby, gotta kiss your womb," and you're whining, and he's only pistoning in deeper, "not so funny now huh?" he's hissing as you grow even fuckin' tighter — how was that possible?

"what are you—" and you whine as his tip grazes even deeper, and you're sure he's somehow fucking your stomach now, "are you jealous of Ijichi?"

"Don't say his name," he gives a particularly rough thrust of his hips to punctuate his point, drawing another squeal from your lips, and yet he's the one who brings him up, "fuckin' laughing at his joke like I wasn't even there. He isn't funny. Nowhere as funny as me!" and you're already close again, tears pooling in your eyes, as you stammer.

Was he really that upset because you laughed at an old friend's bad joke?

"Toru, a-are you serious—" and he's slowing down now to a tortuous pace, as you whimper, "baby, he just made a joke, I was being polite," you can't even laugh at how ridiculous it is with how badly you want to cum.

"Only i'm supposed to see that smile, that laugh," and he's teasing you with the tip of his cock now, dragging it in teasing circles around your clit, "you're mine, mine to make smile, make to make laugh, mine to fuck," and he's fucking you again, bottoming out in one thrust, "say it, baby, tell me who you belong to,"

And your back is arching, throat raw as you tell him just how much he owns you, as you orgasm for the nth time, and he's not far behind, his hot release spurting into your needy cunt, as he fucks it only deeper.

"Toru," you moan again, "Toru, fuck," you murmur, fucked dumb by his dick, as you both come down from your highs, "were you really that jealous of—"

And he only pouts, pressing his lips to yours again, "Don't say his name," and he's pressing needy kisses to your neck, as he pulls out, your mixed cum leaking out, before he's slipping two fingers in, pulling another moan from your lips, "by the time I'm done with you, you won't even remember his name."

SUGURU GETO | riding, semi-exhibitionism, dom!geto, spanking, degradation (slut)

jealous of you talking about someone else

"Princess, you can do better than that," Suguru is clicking his tongue, as you split yourself open on his cock, warm walls squeezing all too deliciously around his already drenched dick, as only whines and pants left your kiss ruined lips, "gonna have to be quieter than that if you don't want someone else to hear—"

He had you riding him in a side room of a temple he used often to collect money, some his other followers congregated in the room over to hear him "preach of the new world." Bullshit that he fed to monkeys that made them full and happy and complacent -- but right now, he had something else that was making you feel so full.

"C'mon baby, ride me like you mean it," he coos, and his hand is coming down on your ass with a mean spank to your already sore ass, heat blooming from the impact, "you certainly had plenty of effort when you were sweet-talking those damn monkeys, didn't you?"

"Sugu, I was just trying to help," you whine, as his hips snap against yours, making you squeal, as he finds his way even deeper into your already fucked out cunt, "I just was--"

"You were flirting," he hisses, as his hands find their way to your hips, forcing you to meet his upward thrusts, as your hands cover your mouth to muffle your moans, "you love this, love it when I fuck you like this, think you want them to see you like this, grinding on my cock like a slut," you whine, but his words only makes your sweet cunt give a telltale clench around his dick, "that's it — you can lie, but your princess cunt can't, baby,"

"Sugu, please 'm close—can't—" and his hands are pulling back, letting you do all the work, and you do, fucking yourself stupid on his cock, the wet squelch of your pussy ringing in your ears — so loud, you can't understand why someone hasn't burst into the room yet— but you can't bring yourself to care, when you're so fuckin' close to cumming.

"That's it, fuck, s'good for me," and he's pulling your hands away from your mouth, letting your moans resonate and fill the room, as he watches a white ring of your cum form around the base of his cock, as he grunts, dick twitching as your walls cream around his cock, "now moan my name as you cum so these goddamn monkeys know whose cock you're bouncing on."

KENTO NANAMI | soft!dom, breeding, hair pulling

jealous of running into an ex

"Did he ever make you feel this good?" Kento's question murmured against your neck, as he presses soft kisses to your neck, dragging his leaking tip against your aching cunt, "did he love you like I did?" And his fingers sneak under your head, making your neck arch as he tugged your hair.

"N-no, Kento, he didn't—"

"He certainly acted as if we were the same," he scoffed at the thought of your ex, the one you had dated before Kento, who had the audacity to approach the two of you today. Catching up with you and even touching your arm, as if your husband wasn't there, even ignoring him, until you introduced him. They had shook hands, and you knew Kento had squeezed his hand a little too hard, but now those same hands were gripping you softly — but firmly.

"He's nothing compared to you you're everything to me," and he's rewarding you with sinking his tip into your needy pussy, "ah, Kento, please stop teasing me," you whine, a noise leaving your throat that you didn't even know you could make.

"You're practically sucking me in, but did you do the same for that bastard?" he's dragging his cock up and down, driving you insane with how your walls squeezed, trying to pull him in, but he resisted every tempting contraction of your sweet cunt, "did you take him this well?" and his teeth graze against the soft skin of your neck, "did he make you beg for him?"

"Only you make me feel this good, only you, Kento, only you make me this needy, make this pussy so—" and he's sinking into you, slowly, torturously, but pleasurably — inch by inch, until he's bottoming out, but he doesn't move, not at first, "please, Kento, please—move—"

And he obliges you, thrusting into you, fucking you in earnest, his cock dragging against your walls with each snap of his hips agianst yours, "such a needy baby," he grunts, "your cunt is trying to hold onto me even as I pull out — is that how much you want my cock? Want me to fill you?"

You're nodding, moaning his name, as you meet his lips in messy kiss, all tongue and teeth, as he fucks you harder, "Look at me, baby," he orders, and your eyes flutter open, meeting his lust clouded gaze, making you all the more sensitive to his touch, "want you to watch me as I breed you," and you're groaning, pussy twitching at the thought, "how're you even tighter?" he grunts, "want me to breed you, don't you? Want me to fill you with my cum? Make you full with my children," and your head is thrown back, voice raw as you can only groan his name again and again.

"Kento, mmph, 'm s'close, can't,"

"Cum for me, baby, let me fill you," he's finding your lips in another sloppy kiss as you cum, hard, walls gripping him as he fucked you through your orgasm. And he's cumming too right behind you, filling your womb with his hot release, "good girl," he murmurs, pressing sweet kisses to your chest, "but if you think I'm done, we're far from finished," and he's pulling out slowly, before gathering his cum that leaked out on his fingers before slipping it back into your still sensitive cunt, "we're not going to be getting much sleep tonight, love."

CHOSO KAMO | body worship, pleasure dom, oral(f), squirting, implied oral (m!)

jealous of a fellow sorcerer flirting

"Cho-so! Nugh, please—" your fingers buried in his black locks, hair ties long since come loose from your tugging — and you're not even sure if you want to pull him closer, or push him away, "i can't—"

"I know you have more in you, my love," he's only murmuring against your sweet cunt, tongue flicking against your swollen clit, "need to feel you flood my mouth, need to taste every inch of you,” he’s re-doubling his efforts, his hot tongue dragging your gummy walls, making good on his promise, “sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted — how are you this perfect? How do I deserve you?” You look at him, nestled between your thighs, his lips and chin glossy with your release, tongue darting out to lick your pre from his lips.

“Choso, y-you do, I love you, only you,” and he’s peering up at you with a lidded gaze — but you see something else besides lust — insecurity lined his furrowed brow, and then it clicks, “you know that Ino was just being friend—"

But he’s burying his face back, fucking your cunt his his tongue, as his thumb teases your needy clit, your words falling away to pleasure.

“It wasn’t just friendly. He wants you. I know the lustful gaze of a man, especially one who wants what I have,” he mutters, as his teeth graze your inner thigh, drawing a gasp from your lips, “but how do I have the right to you? Half curse, half human — what am I really to have the right to be with you?” And then he bites your thigh, pulling a loud moan from your lips, “but I can’t help but want you.”

“I love you, only you, I don’t care what you are. I love everything about you because you’re mine. My Choso,” you manage between pants, as your fingers tug his hair to force him to meet your gaze — make him see the state he’s left you in — utterly fucked out with your chest rising and falling, your eyes glazed over with lust, “please, I need you—"

And that’s all he needs to redouble his errors, rubbing himself on the mattress below him, certainly soaking through his boxers and the sheets.

“Mmph, Choso, please, I’m—“ and his lips latch around your clit, sucking hard, until you squirt on his face, and he’s eagerly lapping up your release, as you moan his name. He’s slurping and swallowing your cum with lips quirked in a smile, his groans and grunts only making your cunt flutter around his tongue.

And he’s pulling away finally, an unspoken question on his lips whether he did well, and your only response is to pull him into a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips, before flipping him over. You kiss your way down his body, as you tug his boxers down to free his erection, tongue grazing the underside, making him groan.

You grin, “My turn.”

YUTA OKKOTSU | fingering (f!), marking, face sitting

jealous of an ex you just broke up with

“Yuta, please—" the last word comes out a squeal, as his calloused fingers tease the crotch of your shorts, a warm heat settling over your skin all at once but all too slowly — like the start of a wildfire.

"I told you I'd help you forget about him," he murmurs, his long and lithe fingers all too skilled, as they snap the waistband of your shorts against your skin, "he never deserved you - you're special, especially to me," and he's pulling down your shorts, until you're kicking them away at your feet.

And this fire had spread far too fast — especially with his fingers teasing your folds through your soaked panties.

“Still thinking about him?” Yuta asks softly, his words soft but not the intent, and he only sighs at your whine, "I'll have to do better for you then," and his fingers slip past your ruined underwear as they tug the fabric down your thighs, making butterflies bloom in your stomach before they surely burst into flames from the fire Yuta is brewing, as two fingers part your dripping folds, "already so wet? I've barely started,"

"Yuta," and he's pausing, as you try to form a sentence, but only comes out as a single word, "more," and his lips quirk into a smile.

"Of course," and he's fucking you open nice and slow, your pre slipping down his fingers onto your hardwood living room floor, "i've been wanting to do this for so long — has your ex ever done this for you?" and you only swallow, whining when he stops, only continuing when you shake your head, "you deserve so much, you deserve the world," and a third finger sinks into you, making you cry out his name, "that's it, love, let me make you feel good."

"Yuta, please," you moan, as his fingers drag against your needy cunt, as he noses the nape of your neck, placing wet kisses along your neck, before his teeth graze your sensitive skin, sucking and licking marks that surely will dot your skin the next day, "ah—"

"Mine," he murmurs, and that makes your cunt twitch around his fingers — god you were so close, so close—and that's right when he's pulling his fingers out.

"Yut—" and he's licking your release from his fingers, before he's tugging you into a bruising kiss, sticking his tongue out to meet yours in a messy kiss, before he's pulling you on top of him, wet cunt pressed against his chest, "what are you--"

"Sit on my face," he says, his pupils nearly completely dark as he meets your gaze, "i want to show you what you've been missing -- how you deserve to be treated," and the blood rushes to your face, as your head shakes no, but he can feel your pussy say yes -- walls squeezing around nothing, "please,"

"Yuta, you don't have to—" but he's unwavering in his gaze, "what if I crush you?"

"It wouldn't be the worst way to go — you know I did have a secret execution scheduled before," and you smack him, but he only catches you by the wrist and kisses each finger, licking your fingertips, sending heat right to your cunt, "let me make you feel good — better than he ever has," and now you realize what it is — it's jealousy.

So you settle above his face, your cheeks burning as you feel his breath warm your aching pussy, "don't worry," and he's helping you ease yourself onto his lips, and right before his tongue drags slowly along the length of your sopping cunt, "you won't remember your name, much less his, after this."

a/n: i just realized i used a similar line in gojo's and yuta's, but y'know what, like teacher like student. what was this? who knows? will i do something like this again? maybe.

[miange1]

HYUN-JU

male reader, reader is a college student, talks of dysphoria, hyun-ju's past, reader doesn't know hyun ju's trans, pining/being smitten, death, crying, scuicidal thoughts, im in love with this woman.

note: i am not trans, im a cis dude. if i ever get something wrong or offensive and you're trans just let me know and i'll fix it. Also I saw something where someone said gyeong-seok probably just thought hyun ju was a cis woman who had a really deep voice and i thought it was funny.

You had been lucky to pass the first game. You were scared out of your mind, and the small group you made from the first few games had died. It was terrible, you had no one. It's surprising how despite everyone being in the same situation— you found no more comfort.

But there was this girl you had seen. She had shoulder length hair, and earrings that truly just suit her. She was really pretty, you wanted to talk to her yet she was always with her own group.

Yet this time, she wasn't. She was just by herself for a moment, was she thinking to herself? Maybe you should talk to her? No, that's a bad idea. Okay, but what else was there to do? You might die without talking to the woman of your dreams.

Mustering up the little courage you had, you went over to her. Hands sweaty the closer you got to her. You wiped it on your slightly blood stained uniform, feeling even more icky realizing you were bloody.

Getting closer to her, you sat on a mattress. Shit, what now? You cleared your throat, "H..hi." you felt like you were back in highschool. Mouth dry as if you were talking to your fist crush. She looked over to you, a small smile on her curious face. "Hi."

She spoke to you, holy crap she spoke to you.

"How uh— how are you?" You stuttered.

But before she could answer you shook your head, blurting for her not to answer that stupid question. Jesus your face was burning up, felt like you had a fever.

"I'm sorry," You were able to get that out. "This is dumb, I just thought you were really pretty and.." She hadn't broken eye contact with you, but you could barely look at her. "In a situation like this it's pretty weird to say something like that to someone isn't it?"

"You think I'm pretty?"

You shut your mouth, looking at her oddly. "Yeah..of course i do. Do you not think so?" She scoffed, thinking you were joking. She had just gotten called beautiful by young-mi, and she believed it she truly did. But hearing it from someone she barely knew? Made her feel like crying again.

"I have been called a lot of things, yet not pretty. I only expected to be called pretty after my transition." That was where you made another face more confused than before. "Transition?" Your voice spoke with genuine confusion.

She raised her eyebrow at you, then rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that. I know you can tell." You really couldn't. There was nothing you had against transgender people at all, but it doesn't change the fact you couldn't tell.

"I really wasn't aware, was that offensive to you?" She stared at you for a moment, bursting out laughing after a while and earning some stares. "My voice? Even hearing me, you weren't aware?" You shook your head and shrugged.

"I just thought you had a naturally deep voice." Oh you were making her feel so much better, even if you didn't know it. She couldn't stop laughing, grabbing onto your shoulder as a touch of affection. It made you smile and laugh with her, your own hand touching hers to reciprocate.

The two of you had deeper talks over time until the next game. She told you what you guessed she told the others, about her plan on what to do with the money, how she had others distance themselves from her when she told them she felt like a woman. It made you feel bad, but you were happy she was telling you this because it felt like you had known each other for so long.

You wished it lasted longer

—

"Six." The moment it was spoke, you had been pulled by hyun ju. It was a habit she was making, always grabbing you the moment the she heard the number. But this time, she made a mistake. She realized last minute young-mi was too behind.

She panicked, no one else seemed to have room and it was a moment of time before she absolutely had to close the door.

Hyun ju's grip stayed on you, it seemed to get tighter the more stressed she got. Young mi was just a kid, she deserved to live on.

"10, 9, 8,"

You only had so much time to decide. You yanked yourself from hyun ju's grip, and she instantly gave you a look as if you were stupid. "What are you doing?" She wanted to save you both, but you knew that wasn't possible.

You didn't speak, only letting your lips touch hers quickly, yet you stayed as long as you could. Even in death you would always remember her lips, they trembled against yours, confused, yet wanting and needing more. You let yourself run out, pushing the girl inside. "1."

It was done, and there was nothing that could be done. You heard the yell of her voice, panicking and shaking the door trying to get it to open. "No, no, unlock the door! God damn it!"

"I love you." She stopped, looking at you in your eyes. You were scared too, crying even. You didn't want to die, and she knew it. She was so deeply in love with someone she only knew for a few hours, but it felt like years. She needed you, she wanted you to live. Get to know you better when this was all over, maybe even go further if it could!

She couldn't even say it back while you were conscious. The life left your eyes, and your body fell. "No.." she was in disbelief. No, you weren't dead.

"Please, please, I love you too.." She couldn't be upset at anyone, she couldn't even stand on her own two feet.

"Unnie." Arms wrapped around her, "Come on..you have to get up..the next round." She didn't want to play anymore, she didn't feel like she could. If only it was her, she could have at least had hope for you and young-mi.

Damn it

[little-fairy-forest]

Say that shit again

Bakugo x gn! Reader

Bakugo takes part in the lastest tiktok trend to his dismay, all joked aside once his mother gets the final word

Note : mentions of gaining weight,

"Absolutely not" bakugo grumbles as he cleans the dishes after dinner at his parents house. You sit at the bar table as you try to persuade your boyfriend into partaking in a 'funny' tiktok trend you've seen some couples do

"Whats the worst that could happen, she loves us‐"

"Nuh uh, the old man would be stern with me but..." katsuki looks around to make sure his mom isn't within ear shot "the old hag will hang me if I even mess with you"

You laugh at Katsuki's reasoning, as yes, he is right. Mitsuki has your back even if you're in the wrong, much to Katsuki's annoyance.

"Just once!" You bargain "I'll jump in if things get too heated"

Katsuki finishes washing the dishes and turns to you with a blank stare

"You've one shot and film'n that dumb tiktok–"

You bounce out of your chair in victory, already getting the camera set up, isn't life great when katsuki decides to listen to you?

————

The camera is set up so its facing katsuki, but hidden behind the fruit bowl. You'd be lying if you weren't nervous yourself for Mitsuki's reaction to Katsuki being mean to you in front of her.

Mitsuki is now at the dining room table reading a magazine and having tea whilst you and katsuki are at the kitchen bar table "have a conversation". If only Mitsuki knew what chaos was being plotted right in front of her.

You could smell the smoke off Katsuki's palms due to how nervous he was. Too late to turn back. You send him a reasurring smile as you tap the countdown button on your phone to start recording.

You start off the conversation by asking Katsuki to put the kettle on and you'd go find some treats to have together

"I think theres some mochi in the fridge if you'd like some? Or maybe we could bake something" you calmly.

Katsuki speaks in his usual brash tone " you don't need anymore sugar, theres fruit right there dumbass"

Mitsuki perks up at the sound of Katsuki's harsh voice, ever so slightly missed what he said as she was engrossed in her magazine. That was close.. too close.

"But kats its Friday, so a treat is okay!" You saying trying to convince your boyfriend to comply with your simple reasoning.

"No." He says sternly, "you could bearly manoeuvre around the course earlier, let alone dodge half n halfs attacks earlier..."

Mitsuki has now started to fully listen, carfully settling down her magazine to see where katsuki is going with this conversation.

"Its only one treat i promise!" You plead with the blond, you notice another head turn and speak up.

"Katsuki theres fresh mochi in the fridge, strawberry or lemon, I can make something else if yous like" Mitsuki trys to reason woth her son. She knows herself how strict he is with his own diet, but she never have thought he would be strict with your diet.

"I already told them no, and besides their hero suit was lookin' a little tight earlier"

Silence. Deafening silence.

No one deared to move, all that could be heard was the ticking of the wall clock and Mitsuki clearly her throat before speaking in a deadly voice.

"Say that shit again, I dare you"

Oh no. Katsuki is absolutely dead–

"Ma hold on–" katsuki immediately tries to defuse to argument that hadn't even started yet, but as a hothead himself he knew where his mothers temper would lead to.

"Is that the way you talk to your partner? Huh?" Mitsuki was in full parenting mode. Even though her son stands taller then she, best believe she isn't afraid to stand up to him.

Katsuki stutters over his words, for once he wasn't sure if he should even dare yell back at his mothers face.

"Uh - we, we were just‐"

"Bullshit"

"Ma listen," katsuki looks over to you for help. Katsuki has to decide if he wants his ass beaten or protect his partner.

"I know you love him y/n, but if you mind letting me deal with this child who thinks he can talk to his partner like that–"

Yes you love his family, but you don't love how they commicate.

But you also love adding fuel to the fire

"Mitsuki, he didn't even let me finish my lunch earlier! He said and i quote 'lookin like a sack of potato's in a school uniform'"

*boom*

No Katsuki's were hurt in the making of this fic.

Go check out my masterlist !

Requests are open :)

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Hey! Can I make a request for a s/o that tries to get Arlecchino/Yelan/Eula/Shenhe to laugh?

(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Arlecchino, Yelan, Eula, Shenhe, Herta, Hanya, and Fugue's S/O trying to get them to laugh

HERTA JUMPSCARE!

Arlecchino is more amused by the fact S/O is trying to get her to laugh rather than anything they directly do.

Which is to be commended, whether out of bravery or some form of perceived death wish by others.

(Arlecchino) "...S/O, what are you doing?"

S/O was currently dressed in a ridiculous duck outfit, with many of the children at the House looking at them in disbelief, laughing and also wanting to play with them.

(S/O) "Um...being funny?"

She glances the outfit up and down, the only expression being made was the raise of a single eyebrow.

(S/O) "Is it working?"

(Arlecchino) "In some capacity, yes."

Arlecchino replied in the most deadpan voice imaginable.

She isn't entirely made of stone, but because it amuses her, she doesn't really change her usual stoic expression at S/O's shenanigans.

She does however find it somewhat sweet.

Result: Task failed successfully!

Yelan is pretty easy to amuse, though not in the way most people imagine.

She can "laugh" along to what people say, but that's usually to blend in to her job.

When it comes to actually genuinely laughing, she has a different means to do that.

Letting S/O roll her dice.

(S/O) "HOW IN THE HELL DID I GET SIX ONES IN A ROW?!"

Yelan immediately bursts into laughter from their anger, seeing this was the sixth time they had rolled, and decided that she was going to stay home instead of going out for dinner.

(S/O) "Did you weigh these damn things?!"

(Yelan) "Of course not, that's just how they roll."

(S/O) "MY FOOT!"

They usually tried to get her to laugh at some dumb jokes, which sometimes works, but this is a surefire way to get her almost wheezing. Not that S/O was actively trying here, but it counts!

Result: Girlfriend laughing, Success!

Eula's heart was not made of stone, despite what she told others (Even as a joke).

Especially when it came to S/O, her cold, standoffish personality crumbled the moment they gave her any type of affection.

Moreso when they actively tried being stupid to get her to giggle.

(S/O) "Eula!"

She looked up from the book she was reading, only the two of them inside her living room.

(Eula) "S/O? What is it?"

(S/O) "Check it out!-"

S/O was wearing an outfit Amber had personally made them, beaming at them with a smile.

Bearing a rather striking resemblance to-

(S/O) "Mark my words, vengeance will be mine!"

Herself.

(Eula) "...Pfft!-"

Eula immediately folded, laughing with one hand going to her mouth.

(Eula) "How long have you been holding onto that to make a joke?"

(S/O) "About a month."

Result: Girlfriend laughing, Success!

Shenhe is stonefaced like, 99% of the time. She understands some humor, but trying to get her to emote any other time is a fool's errand.

One that S/O still attempts!

Jokes were out of the question, so were a bunch of other the usual methods.

Instead, they try a tried and true method!

S/O tickled Shenhe, and her hand instantly caught S/O's wrist within half a second.

(Shenhe) "What are you doing?"

(S/O) "Trying to make you to laugh!"

Shenhe gently released their hand, and tilted her head curiously.

(Shenhe) "...Very well. You may try again."

Shenhe, mentally, is happy with S/O just doing couple shenanigans with them, though she never showed it.

Result: Failed, kinda...?

Herta can laugh, though it's not exactly anything that S/O, much less other people, can comprehend.

And trying to get Herta to laugh can both be the easiest and hardest thing to do.

Trying to tell a joke or show her some dumb picture?

Vetoed, blocked, denied, not funny, didn't laugh, also you're stupid-

In other words, normal humor doesn't really work on humor.

But in an experiment?

(S/O) "H-Herta?! Am I supposed to be feeling so...floaty?"

(Herta) "Yes yes, normal side effects besides...Oh yes, spontaneously imploding."

(S/O) "SPONTAENOUS-WHAT?!"

Herta's laugh immediately fills the room, with her waving a hand dismissively.

(Herta) "Relax, I'm joking...Mostly."

(S/O) "So...any idea when I'll come back to the floor?"

(Herta) "Hm, most likely in a few hours. Worry not, I'll get my puppets to tie you down to a railing."

Her smile persisted, so that was at least some comfort.

Result: Girlfriend laughing, Success! Now, get back to drinking those elixirs, Herta needs results!

Given Hanya's life experiences and role as a Judge of the Ten-Lords, humor is pretty hard to come by.

Though that does not stop her S/O from trying!

...And failing pretty miserably at that.

(Hanya) "S/O? What is that?"

(S/O) "I...think it's for a bath, but it's consisting of peppers?"

(Hanya) "You do not intend for us to use that, do you?"

(S/O) "Mostly for me. I was betting someone that I could get you to laugh if I used it."

(Hanya) "I do not think that harming yourself in such capacity would get me to laugh."

(S/O) "Only one way to find out, eh?"

Though S/O was smiling, Hanya was not so easily amused.

...

(Hanya) "Well, your scream was certainly unexpected."

(S/O) "Agh, and so was this burning sensation...! Did it work?"

Hanya had the faintest smirk on her lips.

(Hanya) "I didn't know your pitch could get that high."

Result: Girlfriend laughing, Success!

Fugue was still able to find pleasures from her past life just as enjoyable, chief among them being S/O.

And though they had only the faintest idea of what she was fully going through, getting her to smile was their top priority.

Even if the result made them look like an utter idiot.

That was worth it just to get her to laugh and have that light in her eyes again.

Fugue eyed the bowl S/O had gotten with a suspicious look, noting the red broth.

She couldn't quite place her finger on it, but something in her conscious was screaming something was wrong.

(Fugue) "S/O...Is that spicy?"

(S/O) "Sure is!"

(Fugue) "Can you eat spicy food?"

(S/O) "Kinda? I'm not allergic but it'll make me sweat a lot!"

Before she could question it further, S/O took one bite of the noodles with a pair of chopsticks, before their eyes shot open.

(S/O) "H-HOT! HOT!"

Fugue was stunned for a moment, only to begin laughing afterwards, watching their exaggerated reactions as they rushed to grab water.

(Fugue) "If you just wanted to entertain me, S/O, you could have just brought me to a show."

After rushing back to their seat and drinking the entire can, they gave her a tired smile.

(S/O) "Hah, where's the fun in that...?!"

Result: Girlfriend laughing, Success!

[yenqa]

firsts

synopsis — sakusa and you have never had a conversation, and honestly you’re terrified of the man. but one conversation turns out to be many more of your firsts with sakusa.

warnings — reader is scared of men LMFAO, not really any

pairing — sakusa x implied fem!reader

wordcount — 710

a/n — happy birthday to himm! also my first hq post in a while OOPS also not proofread sorry!

You’ve never really talked to Sakusa.

You had been the manager of the volleyball team since your first year–and you had known him since then, but for some reason, you haven’t talked to him unless it’s volleyball related.

In fact–you don’t think you’ve ever had a conversation with him. But there's a first for everything, right?

Itachiyama has made it to nationals (not like it’s a surprise), and everyone has just arrived. The room continues to fill with people you don’t know, so you decide it’s best to stick with your team so you don’t get lost.

Well apparently that was a horrible idea to everyone else. Because you’ve lost everyone but Sakusa. 

And you’re terrified. Surrounded in a room full of men you don’t know sounded like your worst nightmare, and you were living it currently.

Frantically scanning the room for anyone that’s not Sakusa, you somehow can’t spot any of the familiar bright yellow and green jackets your team is wearing.

Everyone knows that Sakusa doesn’t like to be bothered. But when you make eye contact with him, you change your expression to a way where he understands you’re pleading for help.

And he nods once.

Your mouth breaks out into a smile, and you shimmy your way to the crowd. Letting out a sigh of relief–you lean on the wall for support, muttering a small thank you to Sakusa. 

You don’t expect him to say anything back, but you can hear his muffled voice say, “You okay?”

Tilting your head slightly up to make eye contact with him, you smile as you say, “Yeah–I’m fine. Are you nervous?”

You’re not sure why you ask the question, he probably doesn’t want to be bothered. I mean–you were still kind of shocked that he let you even be near him.

“Not really. Are you?”

You’re even more shocked when he continues the conversation. You’d expect he’d be the most rude person if he didn’t want to talk. “I-uhm I am a little bit. But we’re exempt from playing today right?”

Yeah–this definitely is the first and last conversation you’ll ever have with him.

He nods.

Then it’s silent.

Surprisingly, the silence isn't the most awkward thing you’ve experienced. It feels as if you’re just two people co-existing.

You watch as everyone excitedly hugs each other or glares at their next opponent. One person even tries to rile up the other, eliciting a small chuckle from you.

From the corner of your eye you can tell he’s curious, but he hasn’t said anything yet. This time, you take initiative to point at the players, also describing the jacket colors.

And you swear you can hear him laugh.

Not a full–hearty laugh obviously, but a small chuckle. A quiet one that you don’t even notice. But it’s definitely the first time you’ve heard him do anything resembling a laugh.

“You laughed.” You blurt out, before you even realize. 

He furrows his brows, “I did.”

Your eyes widen, “Sorry–oh my gosh, it’s just the first time I’ve heard your laugh before, Sakusa-san. I swear I didn’t mean it like that–you just have a nice laugh–”

And now he’s actually laughing–like not even hard to hear.

He’s laughing, he’s hunched over, shaking and clutching his stomach. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more mortified in your life.

“It wasn’t that funny was it?” You ask, a frown on your face.

Sakusa catches his breath, “Funnier than any of the jokes Komori tries to make.”

“There wasn’t even a joke! And I happen to like the jokes he makes!”

“Only if you’re sick in the head.”

You scoff at his remark, “Wow, Sakusa-san, you’re very hard to please.”

“Kiyoomi.”

“Another complaint?” You tease, trying to play dumb at what he’s trying to imply. 

“Call me Kiyoomi.”

You can feel heat rush to your cheeks, you tuck your hair back behind your ear and mutter, “Okay, Kiyoomi.”

And even though he’s wearing a white mask, you swear you can see his eyes crinkle and you can assume the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. 

You’ve had many firsts with Sakusa today. This is the first time you’ve seen him smile–just maybe next time he’ll do it while his face is fully shown.

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[hannieehaee]

What do u think svt’s reactions would be to the ‘calling my bf ,my friend on video’ trend? 🫶🏽

calling them your 'friend' trend

content: established relationship, fluff, etc.

wc: 454

a/n: this is such a funny trend lol they'd all be too chronically offline to get it.

masterlist

seungcheol -

immediately complains about it. wont even let you go half a second without clarifying its boyfriend. is actually a little bit peeved off by it, like what do you mean by friend?? friend, who? not him!

jeonghan -

will become annoying as fuck about it! starts calling you friend instead of whichever other pet name he usually calls you. even if you take it back and whine at him to stop, he'll keep going until he's pleased with himself.

joshua -

tilts his head in curiosity but doesnt react to it otherwise. he knows that if he reacts then you win, and joshua would never let you win!!

jun -

very confused but chooses not to question you at first. if you keep doing it, then he gets all pouty as he asks you why you'd call him that. he's supposed to be baby or honey or sweetheart or angel, not friend!!

soonyoung -

kind of confused and maybe a little sad. asks you in that small and vulnerable voice what do you mean?? he's boyfriend, not friend. nudges you and insists until you correct yourself.

wonwoo -

amused and entertained by your silly idea of a joke. doesnt even react to it, just sighs jokingly at you and gives you a look before going back to doing whatever he was doing.

jihoon -

yet another member who just finds it amusing and a little dumb. doesnt say anything, just lets out an exaggerated sigh and ignores anything else you have to say until you address him correctly.

seokmin -

pouts at you but doesnt say anything. will actually start rethinking everything, showing clearly on his face that he's put off by you calling him friend. your joke would have to die immediately in order to comfort him lol.

mingyu -

he knows you're making some sort of joke but still whines at you and insists you call him babe or baby or honey or something. starts being overly physically affectionate to show that's not what a friend does.

minghao -

somehow he immediately knows what you're doing and just scoffs and clicks his tongue at you in a scolding manner, amused by you trying to trick him.

seungkwan -

gasps and gapes at you. doesnt even stop to think that you may be making a joke. immediately stop insists you take it back.

vernon -

doesnt think anything of it. he calls you bro and dude all the time, so friend isn't that far off for him.

chan -

might not actually notice unless you do it a few times. then he'll gasp exaggeratedly at you and complain, giving you a list of options on what pet name to call him other than friend. never friend. he worked to hard to upgrade from friend!!

[snowsinterlude]

melted snowflake.

(coriolanus x plinth!reader)

summary: coriolanus never thought he would fall into his own trap. his plan wasn't falling for you. no, it was the contrary, he was supposed to use you. but god, you were so perfect for him.

based on this ask!

c.w: snow being a bit of a jerk, manipulation, jealousy, plinth reader x coriolanus snow, snow being head over heels with you, fluff (?)

you were a district girl, of course. your parents made sure to take that out of your head, but you couldn't simply forget about everything you lived in the districts. you were a child, but it didn't mean you were dumb or blind not to caught up on the things surrounding you.

the first time you saw snow was when your father met panem's president and left you to play on the kindergarden with your brother, sejanus. of course, it didn't go as planned when you were pushed away by a random kid and he protected you and your brother.

of course, after that, he never talked to you guys. a snow is not supposed to talk nor look at poverty with kindness. that's what his grandma'am taught him.

with this being explained, neither him nor his grandma'am expected your family to get richer than the snows, but after his father's death it was only natural they would be poor.

"y/n?" he approached you, now at the academy. he was a beautiful young man, often obtained your attention because of how much praise he recoeved from teachers and others. even though you were rich now, of course you wouldn't fit in as well as he did. not when you and your brother disagreed with everything the capitol kids stood for. "i'm sorry to interrupt you, but the teacher assigned us to do our assignment together." it was a lie. you could tell right away.

but why not see where he'll go with this?

well, that's what you decided to do. every lie he told you made you want to slap him from how dumb he seemed to think you were.

everyday you would caught him staring at you, at your eyes. stealing glances, stealing everything he could from you. hearing your voice was turning out to be the best moments of his days. but you knew deep in your heart that he was taking you for stupid. you were a girl, smaller than him, more soft looking than him, and he thought it was adorable.

but snow, being a snow, had something other than that silly feelings in his body. plans that didn't go as planned when you slapped his face hard, the red print kf your hand on his white skin being visible.

"hey! what are you-?" you interrupted him.

"look, i allowed you to go as far as lie to me about everything, even what others had to say to me. but i will not allow you to say anything about feelings, snow. this isn't funny. this is sick, and twisted. to think you want to have whatever i want so much that you would go as far as say you love me makes me sick." you said, and he blinked his eyes quickly, dumbly looking at you.

"ah, c'mon. don't look at me like that. you really thought i would believe you when you said clemencia hated me? man, she doesn't even know my name!" you kept going, and he gasped a feel times, his hand touching the place you slapped. "stop coming after me."

and you were gone, just like that. everything snow had planned for you both had gone down the drain while you walked away from him.

and after that, he tried to talk to you. he truly did. but you were always so far away from him, and when you caught a glimpse of him walking your way, you would always exit whatever place you were entering.

"man, what you did to the plinth girl? she's running from you like the devil runs from a cross." festus said, watching you exit the library the moment he stood up from the desk they were in.

"i don't know," he said, but he knew what he did to you. he knew he was wrong. and god, the ache he felt on his chest when he saw you laughing at a joke some body made to you was unberable.

that's when he noticed it. that's when he noticed he liked you, more than he planned to. you were supposed to be his accessory, his pretty ornament on the shelf, used when needed to. but now? ah, you had him at your bare feet and you didn't even knew, and if you did, you didn't care.

it was his fault, of course. he didn’t need to tell you that clemencia hated your guts, or that festus was betting that he could fuck you till the end of the year when you said he was pretty, or anything before and after that.

and thinking of that, he had a white bouquet of roses on his hand, provided by his grandma'am when he said he needed to apologize to the prettiest girl he had ever seen. mentally rehearsing his apology and what he would say, he didn’t even notice when he was already at your door, nervously knocking.

you were rich. why was it you the one who answered the door? god, if you were his wife in a near future, you wouldn't even need to move your hands to eat a grape and-

slam!

you closed the door right when you saw the white bouquet on his hand and the ashamed face he had on.

"y/n!" he called you, knocking on the door and pressing the bell of your house multiple times. it was so loud, so irritating, that you opened the door again.

"god, what the hell do you want?!" you asked, angrily frowning at him.

"you," he said. "please, i'm sorry. i-i didn't took you for stupid- you're actually the smartest girl i've seen in the academy, and the prettiest too, and i'm so sorry for being a douchebag to you but i wasn't planning on-" he stopped talking, gulping down.

"planning on what? being a jerk? a liar? a manipulator? a-"

"on falling in love." he said.

"there he goes again." you said, rolling your eyes.

"y/n, i'm serious!"

"prove me." you said, crossing your arms. and he fell on his knees at your feet, placing the roses delicately on your ground. "i'm sorry. i think love is a weakness, i am not used to feeling it- nor any kind of affection towards others but- i can't stand the sight of you, the thought of you being with anyone that isn't me, please-"

ah, how cute. anyone who saw coriolanus at your feet right now would be surprised, his grandma'am would go nuts, saying that snow's are supposed to be on top and not on the bottom of some district girl's feet. but he didn’t mind. he needed to do it. if being on his knees was the only way to get back at you, fuck it. he would be.

"get up." you said, looking away. he obeyed you promptly, eyes looking at you with hope. "that's your last chance, coriolanus." he nodded, almost falling on his knees to kiss your feet.

well, within the span time of seven months, you both were dating. but it didn't change much, coriolanus was always, and i mean always ready to get on his knees for you. he was a sucker for you, even if he was all high and mighty with others, with you, he was a melted snowflake. and he was fine with it.

[mimipolo]

Can u write headcanons for the sakamoto days characters as the animes coming out on Saturday. For ur bestie friendie 😆😆

Sakamoto days x reader headcanons

Yes I will, happy birthday to you. You should be ecstatic rn.

Is the Sakamoto days fandom alive on here??? Hope so.

Shin

He's really obvious about the fact he like you, like reallyyy obvious

Puts extra effort into every little action he does so you think he's cool(he's really not),if you two met in the JCC he'd make sure his entire routine for group assassination missions is basically flawless.

Can't help being curious about what you thought and tunes into your thoughts and has to pretend his face isn't growing hotter by the second as he walks back in line, your inner thoughts of admiration replaying in his head.

Has at least one person(Mr Sakamoto) who he talks to endlessly about you, if he was still an assassin he'd have found it unbearable but now he sits blissfully with a ramen cup in hand as Shin talks away, when his mind wanders to young love and then eventually his wife, Shin snaps at him to pay attention.

Knows a lot about you (most without you knowing but sh), sometimes he just comes up to you and reminds you of something you're about to forget or a question too niche for him to ask and you're like "huh?" and he just blinks at you before going "huh-?"

Takes a deep breath and does that silly shake thing guys do when they're about to run when he's determined to talk to you, ends up folding anyway because he's geeked you asked to eat with him today.

Does the absolute most to keep you out of danger, at the JCC and at the shop, enemies seem to be popping up from anywhere now he and Sakamoto had dropped from the ranks and he didn't want you wrapped up in that.

Cannot flirt, he cannot and it's so embarassing, it's sweet when he tries though, the moment he sees you trying to hold your laugh he just gives up and holds his flushed face as you double over laughing. At least you said he was cute(internally.)

I can imagine you two in his or your room on a hot day, the windows wide open and the fan is blasting in your faces as you split twin popsicles, he thinks you look beautiful even as you sweat profusely and fan your face with your hand.

Nagumo

So annoying, to the point it's almost driving you mad, makes every excuse under the sun to come see you, be it day or night. People often ask how you deal with his unprecedented visits and you can only drag out a sigh and shrug.

Terrible gift giver but it's clear he tries, hands you a beaten up rubber duck and looks at you expectantly when you're not immediately ecstatic (cause what??). He'll explain like some expertise in the science of you that he saw you cooing and feeding ducks one day in the summer five years ago. You look down at the small colourful bird and decide it's actually quite cute, it can go in your random trinket box.

Naturally touchy guy, an arm around your shoulder is not a rare thing but one thing he does get nervous about is holding your hand. Yes he could hold you against his chest for ages as you read out something to him but the idea of holding your has his head in his hands as he squats on the floor.

Would love it if you liked his stupid jokes but would love it even more if you made it your goal to absolutely despite them. He finds the dynamic quite funny. Actively enjoys seeing the way your face crumples up when he cracks a joke at the absolute worst time, something dumb about grannies as the both of you are still panting and painted in blood in a care home of all places.

Not that jealous or possessive but will feel left out when he notices you're hanging out with someone a bit more than him. Will insert himself between you and this new person, mostly unaware he's acting on self preservation to keep himself in your sights.

Shishiba

He's so calm and collected all the time, the concept of him liking someone and that person possibly being you had never crossed your mind and it probably never will.

He likes to praise your work ethic a lot, "Looks good." , "You cleaned them up yourself?" You just nod back with a smile and he's convinced he made the boldest move in the books.

Would want to make absolute certain you like him before saying anything life threateningly risky. Pretty traditional with it, asks you out to eat after work and lets you choose the place. Insists he pays because he earns more than you but he just wanted to treat you. Has a list on his phone of the places you two enjoyed the most and pins them on Maps in case you want to go again.

The type to stare daggers into you while you're busy talking to someone else, when you're done talking he's still looking your way and waits for you to acknowledge him. Sometimes he announces himself, sometimes he'll just walk up beside you and hands your new assignment over which honestly startles you at times.

Wish he could've met you under different circumstances, wherever you're in his line of work or not. He'll never be truly satisfied with the way things are, constantly weighing the options.

For now he's enjoying watching you enjoy your favourite snacks and his heart warms when you offer him a generous bite.

Kashimo

Doesn't know what he's feeling towards you, the only thing he knew was his loyalty to Slur and you were gradually changing that one situation at a time.

It started when you'd apply ointments to where his body disconnected even though he was literally designed to be able to be broken and put back together with no effort. But you put in that effort, insisting he should let you and it'd be beneficial in the long wrong, he liked to believe you.

Often shows up to your cubicle at work just to say good morning then walk away, not even waiting for you to respond. You find it oddly charming and he just likes hearing your giggle as he leaves the office.

He believes you're also one of those people whose never done anything worth damning in their entire life. You're so kind and considerate of him he couldn't even fathom you doing anything wrong. Sometimes he hopes he's still capable of dying just so it could be alongside you, doesn't understand what that means fully though, it's just an ideal.

Likes it when you hold his arm, patting it slightly as you give some feedback on the latest mission. Doesn't understand the point in it but is far from complaining, he enjoys your attention and doting words.

Doesn't like to hold delicate things, like cats he really likes them but has a lingering fear he'd accidentally hurt the small thing. Instead he likes watching you hold these fragile things, pointing to them and you pick them up with a questioning look on your face, he makes a motion for you to scratch it's ears, he's pleased when you do.

(Y'all know like those slime stimboard monkey vids💀💀)

He considers you to also be delicate, so you'll never catch him making a move to touch you even though sometimes his bones ache to, he's fine with the brief touches you give him he couldn't ask for anything more.

Heisuke

He's also helplessly down bad for you, instead he tries his best to be helpful to you but you always seem to one up him in that area, especially when you let him crash at your place. Like a true angel.

Doesn't bother with pickup lines he's tried them out and they're not really his thing but sometimes he says something so heartmoving you pause all together. When he notices your reaction he's completely oblivious he's successfully shot his shot, "Pfft look at ya face."

Piisuke loves you because he does, it's like their brains are interlinked. The bird will catch small sight of you and immediately rush over to perch itself on your shoulder and snuggle its beak into your cheek, it hurts but how could you say no. Heisuke already knows that whenever his small partner did this you were likely around, so he's walking up to you bashfully and taking Piisuke back (he's secretly setting the two of you up.)

Showers you with compliments and praise likes it's nothing, words of affirmation is definitely one of his top love languages on hopefully getting you to like him back. But the moment you reciprocate, admiring his terrifyingly precise sniping skill he's so flushed and hot and fumbling his words he just has to slap a hand over his mouth. Needs a minute before he's chucking softly, his hands smoothly over the rough build of the artillery as he thanks you.

The forgetful sort but not when it comes to you, suddenly he remembers everything. Sometimes he comes to you to say something he needs to remember because it's so much easier when it's your face and voice he remembers reprimanding him.

Dreams of a soft domestic life with you, maybe, if you like, a kid or two to complete the picture and of course the family pet as Piisuke. Grins stupidly to himself at the idea of how he'd propose to you (you're not even together yet.)

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity

warnings ; language

y/s/n = your ship name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone

TommyInnit donated $10!

"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"

only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine

if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you

"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"

after a while he gets invested in the shipping

"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"

"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"

"I found one and it actually looks good!"

reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)

you and Tommy make your own fanfic too

he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀

literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you

such a hopeless romantic

RANBOO

always doing you favors

never saying no to you

"yes sir/maam!"

always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck

it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg

chat always asking where he is during one of said streams

editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them

the chemistry???

you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out

editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo

they do too 😭😭

giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you

he's literally head over heels bruh

gives u free merch and stuff

FREDDIE BADLINU

he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you

claims it's for the bit

lets you dye his hair

ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO

he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off

always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping

always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear

constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys

it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything

the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard

especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo

same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc

editors and fanfic writers have field days with those

just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????

even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing

supports the fanfics

he honestly reads them

if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies

QUACKITY

"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop

qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date

basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp

qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best

cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding

qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy

youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"

and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything

daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"

cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two

fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.

[madeofstardust17]

So what really bothers me about this season was how they reducer every single character to their most basic cliches, when in previous seasons they were so much more than that. Hear me out:

Luther was made into this happy-go-lucky, dumb himbo, when in reality, he's a guy who takes stuff seriously, who does his best to take care of everyone, and has emotional depth. They took that away from him. He's smart, even if they try to make it out like he isn't. They reduced him to just endless positivity and a pretty body (and even that they turned into a joke, giving him an ape body again and ignoring all his trauma related to that).

Diego was reduced to this useless, bitter, suburban dad, who thinks he's owed more than he has. In reality, he was so excited to be a dad. He's a good detective, he's empathetic, he has this sensitivity that he tries to hide but shines when he talks to others. More than anything, he's a provider, he thrives when he has someone to protect, to care for.

Allison has always been a badass, and a good mom. They made that shine, but she was so much more than that. She was complex, and endlessly optimistic, fighting for what was right. She was a good sister, and they made her bitter about that too.

Klaus was reduced to just humor, and not even well done. His little adventures used to mean something for him, and to the plot. They just made him a whore and did nothing for him. The only good thing I will say was that they took his addiction seriously for once. Still, he was useless to the plot, when once he was the key they were all missing.

Five. Oh my fucking God. They did him the most dirty. He would come off as aloof and uncaring, but underneath it, we all understood he loved his family more than anything, that he did everything in his power to protect them. They reduced him to that facade, they made him cold and selfish, willing to hurt his sibling just for his own personal gain.

With Ben, they spent the entire past season making him into this guy who was really rubbish at being the bad guy, who wanted a real family deep down. They reduced him to this asshole who spent the entire season swearing up and down that the umbrellas where not his family.

With Viktor, they tried to make him this cool, confident, independent (apparently womanizer?) dude who gave zero shits about his family. WHEN ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS HIS SIBLINGS' RESPECT. HE WANTED TO BE PART OF THE TEAM. And then they proceeded to make him work??? With his abusive dad???? Who suddenly cared???? And he ignored the rest of his siblings until the last possible minute.

Lila was always the cool, independent, secure woman, who didn't really need a man. They spent two seasons assuring us that she could be on her own just fine, but Diego completed her. He was the perfect person for her, bc he could give her what she craved, a family, people she could rely on. Instead on continuing that, finding a way to balance her family and a job (or something) to let her be something more than just a bored suburban mom, they made her into this insecure woman in her marriage, who just tosses it all aside for FIVE. Who is so incompatible with her that is not even funny.

If you've read this entire rant, congrats, you have my respect.

[meanbossart]

Why does the drow want kids?

Do you think he'd be a good father? (in the magical event that he and Astarion invent fantasy mpreg lol)

How do you think they handle coparenting together?

Sorry for so many questions lol, was just thinking about your little guy and was curious (hope these haven't been asked before!)

Well, to start off you could technically say that he doesn't want them. Not in his canonical/redemptive timeline, anyway.

If he were partnered with someone who's capable of conceiving and it happened on accident, he would be happy about it at first, and it's definitely an idea that he thinks of fondly - but DU drow realizes that not only is his current life-style not fitting to raise a child, but there's also the whole... Bhaalspawn thing. As funny as it was to loom the threat of offspring over Jaheira's head, he wouldn't want to put a child in the world only for it to land in the clutches of Bhaal as he once was.

Jokes about his breeding kink aside, his remaining urge to reproduce will at times be as much of a punishment as his bloodthirst was. Forget about the morning-wood and the abstract obsession with sex - remaining empty-nested will, at some point, pull him into a hopeless sadness that will probably be difficult to crawl out of, and it won't be sated by getting a couple of cats or adopting an urchin.

That said, I don't think it's out of the question that they could come to foster or fully adopt a child, one day! Assuming they stay alive long enough. It's a cute idea that I have filed away for when the inspiration eventually strikes me.

...And Astarion and DU drow would definitely make for peculiar parents, lol, but not totally hopeless ones. They're incredibly capable people in their own rights, with a lot of potential to yet mature and grow assuming nothing goes horrifically wrong. I could see them striving to raise a very self-sufficient and practical child - teach it how to hunt! How to steal! How to butcher! When it's old enough to even understand such conversations, teach it how to murder and benefit from others. Teach it that the world is a weird, scary place, but you can take it by the horns and we will show you how to.

DU drow would be the type of father who more openly expresses affection and wants to spend every minute with the child - yet far more open to letting them make their own mistakes. Take risks. Get hurt. Then simply tell them to dust themselves off and move on.

Astarion on the other hand would probably make for a slightly more withdrawn dad (this isn't the type of love he's used to - not only from his years as a spawn, but far before), a funny one, but not particularly touchy or explicitly loving. On the flip-side I think he would have a much harder time letting them go off and do dumb shit, or at least he would try and pull strings so that things do go their way. He's the dad that reprehends you for getting caught stealing and getting beat up, but then goes off and kills the store-keeper without you ever hearing a word about it.

[yimpysdiner]

Ridiculously long analysis of Jimmy's dialogue

Jimmy is one of the most fascinating characters that's ever caught my eye, which is why I think the watering down of his character to "comically evil villain whose always snappy and overtly aggressive" is a little lame. Not only is it lame, it misses the point of his character entirely. I enjoy delving into him so what did I do? I went back through the game and took a screenshot of every single word he's ever spoken

Here I just wanna highlight some key character traits I think are often overlooked, his speech patterns, etc. This isn't gonna be some grand important theory thing or whatever, just looking at key points of his personality that I think often get lost when people are writing him. It's important to my lil hyperfixated mind, alright? Alright. I'm gonna be breaking this down into a few sections.

Speech Patterns Humor Observant Mimicking? Lashing out Hopelessness Remorse I won't be going over a few obvious things that have been pointed out time and time again like him talking down to Anya so much, being a major asshole, etc, we all know already.

General Speech :

Jimmy's speech is almost always blunt and to the point, he doesn't spend a lot of time rambling like Daisuke, isn't quite as outwardly analytical like Anya, doesn't throw in a lot of sarcastic little jokes like Swansea. Funny enough, his speech is most comparable to Curly's. I'll get to that later. When irritated he starts making little jabs, gets all passive aggressive. It's only when he's really pissed or pressured does he start swearing excessively. A lot of his dialogue hinges on passive aggression, things you could maybe brush off but still makes you feel a little... off. I don't really have screenshots for this little portion, you'll see it as we go on.

Humor

Jimmy isn't entirely a drag. Sure, he never really seems like the "life of the party," but he has his moments. This is kind of a nothingburger section but I often see Jimmy written as just some miserable grimacing guy in the corner

There's one more where you close utility when Daisuke is trapped in the foam and he says "much better." I couldn't find a playthrough where the player does this to get the screenshots but I have seen it be done before. It may be me over analyzing, but I think his sense of humor and general way of expressing happiness is very dry. It's not that he doesn't, it's simply that he's just not a very excitable person. He likes the little tradition of parties on Tulpar and jokes around with karaoke getting "violent." The sort of jokes he makes are probably all the sort of jokes you might just take seriously because he says it in such a flat tone, it's the kind of thing where you have to really *know* how he is to get.

So he's not exactly the person you're gonna see moping in the corner of a party because he hates it, he's moping because he's just not outwardly expressive in that respect, but he does seem to enjoy festivities and fooling around

Observant

Something I commonly see in writing is Jimmy not being able to read people's emotions or understand *how* exactly to get under people's skin. Jimmy's actually incredibly in tune with how people feel, what their intentions are, and how to use that to his advantage. He's very aware of what people may think of him, what they think of others and what they may even think of themselves. This also sort of ties in to people thinking he's dumb, while he's throwing out lines like this almost completely unprompted :

The cockpit scene is incredibly important to understand him as a character. Rewatching it I was quite shocked *how* much of this was immediately taken and used against Curly in later scenes. A teensie bit of context is cut as to not make this post far longer than it already is, but I'll do my best to fill in gaps.

Just this line here is interesting to me, while he senses Curly is unhappy in his position, he can't quite grasp why yet. This is after he says he enjoys where he is, he feels they are in control in this position.

In this calmer environment, Jimmy is able to understand why Curly feels like this without much pushback, even able to open up to Curly a little saying he feels he's still climbing up that ladder after him, to which Curly provides comfort and encouragement. I think a lot is told about their relationship here but that's a story for another day.

Later on, every bit of this information Curly confided in him is flipped over on him in a fit of rage. Where he was once understanding and sympathetic, he's now twisted those words to make Curly seem like a villain in everyone else's eyes, which he continues to do over and over until judgement day. Every bit of info you give Jimmy is ammunition.

It's crazy to put this side by side and see when given the chance, Jimmy will take whats a perfectly good fear and throw it right back at you and really twist the knife while he's at it.

Other examples of this is his paranoia over what the crew thinks of him, especially after seeing Swansea and Anya talking. This one's pretty self explanatory

Next one I find pretty interesting, after Jimmy finds Daisuke on the floor crying about being a screw up and after seeing Swansea scold him for not being great at his job, he decides to turn that around on him as well.

He is not only very aware Daisuke looks up to people in power but looks up to Swansea in specific. I dunno, I just thought that was interesting when I was looking back through everything. I know Jimmy's manipulation of Daisuke is super obvious and in your face but it just helps add to the whole point of Jimmy knows how to wriggle his way into people's minds, especially when they're vulnerable.

I've hit the image limit and I'm not even half way done, so, PART 2