#just to keep antis from accidentally ending up on my page

[lazaruspiss]

This 16th day of May in the year 2001

[grimoirguestbook]

Book of Bill Website Codes

(Organized by category with notes)

Here's my list of inputs that work on the website :)

Hopefully the read more works like I think it does and I don't accidentally spoil anybody

That being said by clicking read more you will see All of the codes I have found so far

Please be mindful and try not to spoil anybody else with this information. So please be careful if reblogging

I got everything I have collected/found on here, it's a bit messy right now but After I take a small break I'll reorganize and add notes but for now everything's on here, please so check out the posts linked in the log as once I lost all leads I looked to their post for other inputs :)

Also feel free to put any you know of that Aren't on here in the replies I'm sure there's some missing

I will be updating as I find more so check back in if you can! :)

Thank you!

They'll be categorized by

Neat Tv text- Nothing special the tv just gets some text to it

Tab pages-brings you to another tab/website

Audio/video- Audio/video clip plays

Readables- A picture will pop up on screen that you can read

Printables- You can print them :D!

Other- Hard to categorize

Note:

If an * is next to a name that means that you can get different results for the same prompt

(Any personal notes will be in parenthesis)

-> An arrow means that the Passwords are found in the previous page

ex- Page with code that translates to "dork"-> Dork

Slashes/mean/that/any/of/the/prompts/listed/will/take/you/to/the/same/page

Blue text with an underline is a link! Haha! would you look at that! it works!

Will Keep this updated as I find more and will Note the logs at the end of this post

?????

For the mason page anagrams I know WHO they are I just don't know WHAT to do with them, i know it says cryptogram codex at the bottom i think i have to do something with the anagram results but I'm unsure what that is. Stanford Pines Stanlie Pines Gideon Charles Gleeful Preston Northwest Pacifica Elisa Northwest

Notes to Dipper Prompt: (Unsure why- Maybe going to Blind eye page and blurring it but changes from dipper being told to stare at the sun to "I THINK ITS WORKING! STARE HARDER! HARDER!" and the page looking burnt I Think it has to do with how many input codes you enter, It now says "you've almost solved it" and is even more burnt than before, it is now full black)

Neat Tv text-

Pines

Blendin

*Triangle

Axolotl

Ducktective

Book of Bill

TJ Eckleburg (Great Gatsby)

Nothing

Something

*Ciphertology

Deer Teeth

Scalene

Scrimbles

No

Fortnite/skibidi/ohio/rizz/crypto/elon/gyatt/Doge

Life

Death

Portal

Question

Answer

Euclid

*Well Well Well Being

Reality

The Universe

Journal 1

Journal 2

Journal 3

Theyll see/They'll all see/I see

Filbrick

Disney/Disneyland/Mickey Mouse

CIA/FBI/NSA

333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611

Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

Caryn

Euclydia

Skeleton

Who are you

Burnside

Family matters

When will I die

Multilevel mark/caesaratbashvigenere

Scientology

Easter egg

Sevral times

oh yes they both

Am i Blanchin

Bye gold

Youre insane

History

Hologram

Scalene

Euclid

Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Text Chain (You get questions who's answer is another password)

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> 333 sundapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611-> MutliLevel mark->emmaline butternubbins->Dispense my treat

What i thought it was (with answer sources):

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Answers found in TBOB- Don't Know, NA, Mcguckets dream page, Medieval page, Anti-Cipher Section- tonic page, Anti Cipher Section- Newspaper, Top Secret page, Textbook page- Skin, Dark Ages Page, Anti Cipher Section-Epilogue, A winter break- footprints page, Book of Bill Cover options page, Never trust a wizard page, Have you dreamed this fellow ad (references informercial in show)

Tab pages-

Abuelita

Dippy Fresh

Alex Hirsch/Alex/Hirsch

*Stan/Stanley (his outfit in ebay searches plus a READABLE with SICK music mind you-Check readable section for more info)

Grunkle Stan

*Gideon (second option unlocked after fully "mableizing" the room)

Waddles

Mcgucket/ Old man McGucket/Fiddleford

Bill/Cipher/LLIB/LLIBREHPIC

Bill Cipher/Rehpic

Zyler (Goes to same place as Craz)

Craz (Goes to same place as Zyler)

Toby Determined

Gravity Falls

Mystery Shack

Not a phase

Blanchin

Peak

Cray Cray

Fixinit1

Meow

Fuck alex/Fuck you alex

Globnar

Monster

Audio/video-

Babba/Discogirl

*Gideon (unlocked after fully "mabelizing" the room)

Tad Strange

Pinata (DEFINATELY WORTH WATCHING)

Vallis Cineris (Found on wall when lightning strikes)

Hey Nerd

Weird (Love him)

Spookemups/Spooky/Scary

That's just a/Theory/Gametheory/Matpat (<3)

One Eyed King-> Naitsuaf (Morse Code) ( early years page)

Forget the past

Im still on your mind

Dorito/Nacho

Just fit in

Rubberhose

Love/Boyfriend

Hectoring

Conspiracy

God/Frillium/Help me

Burned inside

Kook

Kubrick

Small/audio log/music (nothing showed up at first, turned off tv and strange audio played, needs to be reversed)

L is real 2401 (soos my boy)

Readables-

Mason (Dippers real name)

*Dipper (personal notes in ???- keep opening the card to get different results)

Pacifica-> PlatinumPaz

Ford/Standford/Sixer

Wendy

Robbie (def worth a look IMO)

Soos-> Pinata

Cursed (Translated from candle in background)

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Blind Eye->Theyll see (Will blur if clicked on, cannot un-blur, may change dipper?)

Weirdmageddon

Lies

Sorry

Booberry (Decoded from popsicle stick)

Even his lies are lies (Front paper)

Tantrum ( code on Bills Mugshot page)

Suck it Merlin

Shave your Grandma (leads to dippy fresh page)

Baby Bill/baby/lalalalala/daddy/mommy

Owl Trowel

Hotxolotl->Seven eyes-> r34lity

Love ya bro

Fuck/Shit/Fuckyou/bitch/slut/sex

Baaaa-> Black Sheep

naitsuaf (click are you ready-> Sign "pleasure doing business with you -candle light turns blue- OR be a coward (losing sound effect plays)

oroborous-> Frillium

Glass sand beach

math/trigonometry/

horror/creepypasta

destruction is a form of creation

unreality

you can't kill an idea

virus

Occurremusiterum

*Stan (click multiple times to get-once there click "how he beat me several times)

Card

Theraprism

Dionarap->stod eht tcennoc

Printables-

Tyrone/Clone/Paperjam

Curse Wittebane (translates runes on page about witches)

Paper is just book skin ( BE WARNED: automatically downloads a photoshop file and crashses the cite)

Irregular (has code on it)

Divorce/breakup

Other-

Mabel (You get fun stickers and a popping sound :) )

*Giffany ( You put her name in multiple times and it forcibly downloads pictures of her and a text document to your computer, scared me a little Not gonna lie here)

Kings of New Jersey (downloads "secret code" font)

cryptogram codex (downloads cryptogram fonts)

dispense my treat-> Kook (downloads a bunch of cool wallpapers)

Log:

One hour after posting: Added 17 new words

Found by me: Booberry, Mountain Dont, Xgqrthx, titans blood, lyre liar, haralds ramblings, union made

Accidentally found by looking at a post: Sorry

Gifted by replier (Thank you!): MATPAT, yes, no, Fortnite, life, death, portal, question, answer

30 minutes after last update: 9 Words added

Found by me: Theraprism, 29121239168518, Grebley Hemberdreck, Rat, 3466554, Tinsel Snake, Torture Mentally, Fordtramarine, Gun (shocked that worked It was a joke- "bill cipher has A GUN")

Like THREEEEEEE ish hours later?

Found by me: one eyed king, well well well being, shave your grandma, paper is just book skin, even his lies are lies, forget the past, irregular, euclid, tantrum, suck it merlin

Like 12 hours later

Found by me: Reality, Baby Bill, Reality, The universe, Giffany (why is it two Fs, Blarg) They'll see, I'm still on your mind, Journal 1, Journal 2, Journal 3

Gifted to me by a replier (Thank you!): Owl Trowel

Idk- Later

Found by me: hotxolotl, lova ya bro, kings of new jersey, fuck, just fit in

Found on twitter(JasonRitter): Dorito, Blanchin'

Gifted to me by Replier(Thank you!): Gideon's option knowledge

Even MORE later:

Me: Seven eyes, r34ality, filbrick, disney, skibidy, rizz, ohio, love, cia, fbi, rubberhose, 333 sundapple lane cozy creek il 60714-94611, bahhhh, black sheep, naitsuaf, oroborous,theyll see, theyll all see Frillium, occuremusiterum (some of these i gave myself because i was really close but just missed a small detail/spelling)

Taken from here and Here Because I got stumped: Season 3, Season2 , Season 1, Glass shard beach, caryn, Euclydia, Peak, Theory, Cray Cray, Help me, mickey mouse, hectoring, divorce, breakup, skeleton, math, history, monster, gyatt, who are you, fixinit1, conspiracy, riddle, cryptogram codex, horror, creepypasta, trigonometry, god, boyfriend,baby, lalalalala, scary, trigonometry,just blendin, morality, burnside, family matters, when will i die, elon, multilevel mark, goodnight sally,paper jam, tourist trap,the duchess approves,shape, scientology, meow, nacho, crypto,sevral times,easter egg, oh yes they both, daddy, mommy, burned inside, destruction is a form of creation, i see, unreality, you can't kill an idea, am i blanchin, fuck alex, fuck you alex, fuck you, shit, bye gold, nsa, globnar,disneyland,kook, kuibrick,virus,that's just a, you're insane

Next day

Found online: Dionarap, stod eht tcennoc, dispense my treat

[llyfrenfys]

Some really good notes from my post courtesy of @margridarnauds about that person accidentally using a white nationalist slogan to support the Welsh language:

I know someone who is doing a PhD on the Far Right and the co-option of cultural movements and these tags are bang on. Its the difference between a healthy nationalism and an unhealthy nationalism. A lot of this goes for Irish nationalism as well as it does for Welsh nationalism.

There's nothing wrong with (and arguably a lot right with) minority language preservation. It can be used for great good (strengthens community ties, preserves culture) but if co-option is not guarded against readily, it can also be used for great evil (see: using minority language struggles as an argument against immigration, for example).

The Far Right sees the cultural preservation of anything (white) and it's like a bat signal. These things are magnets for white supremacists and assorted fascists of all kinds. Which is why it is so goddamn important to be vigilant against people like that hijacking your movement.

I see a worrying amount of Welsh nationalists use (accidentally or not) the language of the far right to argue for Welsh language preservation. It can be as innocuous as advocating for a Welsh Academie Francaise to as obvious as insinuating that Wales must be kept "ethnically" Welsh in order to keep out foreign influence on the language. I see this go unchecked all the time in various Facebook groups for Welsh independence (most of which I've left since admins of these pages either don't know or don't care that people use their groups to share these sentiments).

Nationalism ≠ Fascism - but if you don't keep an eye on the company you're keeping, any well-meaning nationalist/independence or language preservation movement can be hijacked to promote hate. I only know a scant amount because I was only vaguely considering joining Yes Cymru a few years before they all went sideways (but I remember Owen Exie Hurcum talking about this on Twitter at the time) but the leadership of Yes Cymru began to squeeze out minorities from the group- nonwhite folks, gay people, trans people etc. Whole thing put me off from joining. I don't remember the full details but from the testimonies of others, the group was hijacked and steered into a reactionary way of being. Considering a large amount of Welsh nationalists also idolise groups like the FWA (Free Wales Army - a Welsh nationalist group formed in 1963 which tried to emulate the IRA in Ireland, with little success- mostly just playing paramilitary dress up) - whose symbol is this flag:

Even if the flag itself is based on Welsh folklore and is supposedly an entirely innocent, non fash design- it still is like a beacon to the Far Right who will take any amount of symbolic validation as a cue to join your movement and derail it for their own ends.

Which is why Celtic scholars, people with casual interest in Celtic languages and/or their respective cultures and civic nationalists alike need to be vigilant against those who would co-opt the field for their own twisted hate campaign.

So, one final thought,

Returning to my original post responding to that American chiming into Welsh politics from overseas. Please PLEASE be careful when wading into politics that isn't yours. Where the Far Right are involved, it doesn't take much to cause a dumpster fire - if you aren't 'on the ground' with these issues so to speak, you aren't in the firing line if your comments go sideways and enable/provoke the Far Right in this country.

If you have an interest in Celtic languages, countries and politics- you have a duty to be responsible with what you do and say. This isn't to say that you cannot engage with these topics- but that you should exercise caution lest you accidentally worsen an already delicate situation.

This has been your regularly scheduled Celtic anti-fascist tedtalk. Please reblog to make sure more people become aware of how delicate things can be and how to prevent fascists from getting a foothold in this field. Thank you.

[cupids-chronicles]

Hades X Persephone Saga: A Game of retribution #3

Author: Scarlett St. Clair

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Mythology

My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐/5.

Spice: 🌶🌶🌶

Goodreads rating: 4/5

Pages: ‎‎‎468 

Published: 31 May 2022

A Game of retribution Review

Note: This book is intended for mature audiences over the age of 18 due to explicit content (steamy chapters).

Well, dear readers, hold on to your mythical chariots because we've been taken on yet another whirlwind ride with the gods of Olympus and the Underworld in "A Game of Retribution". Our old pals Hades and Persephone have returned, along with an entourage of divine drama that could only be rivaled by a soap opera airing directly from Mount Olympus.

Remember that old chestnut of a quote, “Knowledge changes perception”? This statement encapsulates the essence of this third installment perfectly. Hades, our underworld anti-hero, who once saw no issues letting souls meander off into the afterlife, is found in the midst of many a mortal miscommunication. Bless him, he did try to respect Persephone's time with her friend, Lexa, but as they say, the road to the Underworld is paved with good intentions. You'd think after centuries of existence, the dude would’ve mastered the art of timing and empathy.

On a side note, why was Persephone so desperate to keep Lexa alive? If I were to see my friend for eternity in a place like the Underworld (which, let's be honest, is essentially an eternal spa retreat for souls), would I really be so worried about a premature send-off? No, but maybe that's just me.

Meanwhile, Hades is found juggling a narrative equivalent of chasing his own tail. Every time he tries to investigate, interrogate, or perhaps indulge in a much-deserved nap, our dear Persephone, with her seemingly never-ending escapades, interrupts him. And poor Hades is dragged from one scenario to the next, like a divine yo-yo. At times, you almost wish for the guy to just hit the 'mute' button on his celestial phone.

We also delve deeper into Zofie's past. Remember Zofie? Persephone's bodyguard who packs more mystery than Pandora's box? Our glimpse into her history and Hades' hand in her life added depth to an already intricate tapestry of storylines. It’s akin to finding out that your mysterious friend who always wears sunglasses was actually a spy… and also once played in a rock band.

However, let’s address the papyrus in the room: the formatting and editing. Was there a minor deity in charge of this? Maybe the god of typos? The occasional errors, though not tragic, did sometimes feel like Hermes had misdelivered a sentence or two. And as for the formatting - the margins! It felt like reading a scroll that Zeus might have accidentally sat on. Perhaps it's a design choice meant to symbolize the vast emptiness of the void? If that's the case, kudos for thematic consistency. If not, let's hope the next edition will be more space-efficient.

In conclusion, A Game of Retribution scores a celestial 3 out of 5 stars from this humble mortal. For all its highs and lows, it's a must-read for fans of the series. And I, for one, am eagerly donning my toga in anticipation of the upcoming books announced by Scarlett St. Clair on her divinely curated Instagram. Bring on the melodrama, the myths, and maybe a map of Hades’ underworld investigations - because this mortal is here for it all.

Please note that this book is part of a series and can not be read as a stand alone. Lucky for you this can be your little weekend binge as almost all the books in the series has already been released !

Wait a minute boys and girls, check out these trigger warnings first:

Suicide

Death

Violence

Romance Tropes, you ask ?

Miscommunication

Marriage

Who do we meet in this book ?

Hades

Persephone (Perri)

What to read next:

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus) by Katee Robert.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black.

Drag Me Up (Gods of Hunger) by R.M. Virtues.

Or just like read the next few books of this series.

[raylazuko]

Can’t have a convoluted AU without pages of family trees

Spoilers I guess for the fic I already wrote and some stuff I’m going to write but idc I haven’t got off my butt yet.

This is literally a HEADCANON a sort of AU semi canon compliant but less and less so as it goes on it’s set in actual Teyvat just like alternate history I guess lol. More stuff the games haven’t explained but as it explains it it’ll be less and less accurate.

Please don’t attack me this is just fanfic if you don’t like don’t read

I’m on AO3 RiahWrites02. It’s broken pieces series and I’m planning a sequel to the one I wrote where all this info will be relavent certain parts of the first story are spoiled as well as stuff I’m planning this is more for me than anything

Probably zoom in a lot to read anyway

Xena’s is the least complex. She’s an OC who’s from Sumeru and an ermetie. Naya’s mom worked for the abyss order but then was a double agent. Her dad is a deadbeat so Xena’s family took her in. Adopted (?) is there because it ends up being weird plus they don’t really have words for that in her culture. Then xena’s family was killed by Fatui and she Naya and Azer her bf fights them. Then in the first fic her bf gets killed by a dellusion in mond (more details) but she ends up joining Diluc’s organization. Naya finds her mom on a mission to “Khaenri’ah” (basically underground abyss order fortress that Aether and Albina (I’ll get to her in a second) wanna convince people is still Khaenri’ah and lots of messed up stuff happens although the people are descended from old Khaenri’ah and most of the original generaton that was cursed would still be alive but is missing. Newer generations have a normal lifespan. Anyway Naya finds her mom and stays in Sumeru and Xena stays in mOnd

Lena’s is straightforward but more death so basically the Fatui killed Lena’s sister Lisel and her husband and kids and the brother Ernst is missing. Lena actually knows Elde who was besties friends with Liesel and worked with Crepus in some sort of underground anti Fatui thing. Basically liesel took the intellegence because it was going to someone but she didn’t think they’d come for her family. Lena sort of blames Crepus for some reason even tho Lisesel volunteered to keep the notes that Crepus wrote but Lena won’t accept that. She works with Diluc they have an org together but she slowly loses her mind and turns against everyone as you’ll see because the whole thing is a huge tragic mess. Their organization has its own code and she breaks it and goes on her own.

Diluc’a is fun because him and Eula are sorta cousins haha. I figured it would be like that. Basically Kiana married Leon but he was awful and left her and she was poisoned by the Fatui and knew she was gonna die so she gave up Elde to a Snezhenayan orphanage. Crepus knows about Elde but doesn’t tell Diluc and Kae (Elde is like 5 years older than Diluc, she’s Liesel’s age, who is older than Lena). Basically Kiana didn’t trust Emiline (Crepus wife, no she isn’t Emilie I made the name before Emilie was released. Also Lena is prounounced LEH-nuh not Lee-nuh because there’s another character named Alina later. So Emiline hated her mundane life in Fontaine and her sister Annika was kind of an ass but Emiline started playing around with witchcraft and Anikka didn’t like that and they basically disowned her but she accidentally cursed herself and Annika. She wanted 3 kids 2 boys and a girl but the more kids she had the more it would make her sick basically because of the curse so she died when diluc was around 4 and he didn’t know anything about her but actually she is trapped somewhere basically purgatory and Annika is alive but trapped in some sort of realm where she doesn’t know the passage of time. Only someone powerful like Kaeya can communicate with the half dead like that basically it’s a long story. Oh also Crepus went a little crazy trying to find a way to get to the purgatory where Emiline is and free hee but he never told the kids and he also realized Fatui devices wouldn’t help but he carried it anyway because he was afraid of something else happening to his kids and he didn’t have a vision which led to what happened with btw Columbina(!) she’s a real menace. Likes to throw in everyone face saying he was an idiot and got himself killed. Also Dottore wants to experiment on Kaeya’s kid half brother but eh. So Crepus Elde Liesel and two other people had this group to severely bring down the Fatui but Elde was like 12 when he came and he and Liesel were besties. Crepus offered her a place to stay but she refused because she said she wasn’t going anywhere without Liesel and the two ran away together then Elde built a house in the middle of the snow and just hid there for years after the others died or disappeared lmao she is a hardass. She can also nonchalantly wield delusions lol

Kaeya’s is a whole ass mess, it’s so bad lmao. So there’s these two very prestigious noble families the Ahlstrohms and Alberichs. Basically one of the Alhstrohm girls married Clothar’s father and they had kids together including Clothar and one of the boys married some other pureblood girl and they had Halfdan Verner and Egaria. Halfdan was presumed dead after the thing but showed up in the abyss thing only to die 2.6 spoilers lmao anyway verner was the one who kept the line alive and Egaria was still a kid but basically the Abyss Order used some technology/magic idk to age her up to an adult but it took like 400 years and she lost her memory. Now in the present she’s mad she lost her memory even tho it was traumatic and wants the abyss order to fix it. Also Halfdan and Dainsleif sort of date and Dain’s cousin Aisha is the attendant to the Ahlstrohms and is still serving them at present (stuff will happen in the fic) Dain is dating kaeya at present but he is also exes with Aether who is abyss twin in this fic. Meanwhile Clothar and his wife had some pureblood kids and carried the lineage. But he had Caribert with a Mondstandt lady and sacrificed the 8 year old for the loom of fate this is canon. So yeah basically both families are crazy about blood purity and it’s not cool. So they spread out for generations although there’s blood mixing all those people get thrown in prison. Basically then Rancourt Alberich (Kaeya’s dad in the fic) gets arranged married to Albina Alstrohm. They are very distant cousins because there’s not that many pureblood families left I used to read Harry Potter (f JKR). Okay point is, both of them are terrible people and Raincourt has Kaeya with a Sumerian mistress (more like a slave) but then goes back and forth since kaeya carries abyssal blood (dark energy basically. Dain and the others have light powers but some people have dark powers). There’s a whole lotta stuff I’m not gonna get into but Rancourt is incredibly unstable and goes back and forth with telling kaeya he’s the chosen one and degrading him for being half blood. Eventually sending him a way to be a spy and we know the rest. So he and Albina have 3 kids Clavia (who gets shafted for not having abyss blood and also is very quiet and isolates herself after Kaeya leaves) Alina and Reinhardt who are now 17 and 15, basically none of them have abyssal blood but Albina treats them better. (She also hated kaeya because of the “affair” (Usura, Kaeya’s mom, was captured and her lover was killed, it wasn’t consensual and she escaped eventually but couldn’t take Kaeya.) so Rancourt made one last attempt at an heir with Abyssal blood but wanted him to look pureblood so had an affair with a Snezhenayan treasure hoarder and it was determined Rohan didn’t have abyss blood. Albina was mad it happened and Rancourt started going crazy looking for solutions. So in the first fic kaeya shows up to confront him and he wants to use some potion to make kaeya look pureblood because he’s insane. He’s desperate for an heir. But the abyss order also has technology that’s more advanced than Fatui tech but similar. Basically Alina doesn’t need powers she uses tech. Albina and Rancourt have dark powers. So basically spoilers for first fic again Kaeya kills Rancourt but then Albina is basically acting as ruler of “Khaenri’ah” now. Aether is doing his own shit in the Abyss and also Albina wants to use Khemia for all sorts of weird shit like blood purification and other things. She’s insane and learns nothing. Aisha warns her but eh. But she wants to use dark energy to do it and Rohan (who was sent away with his mom who became a Fatuis and then basically abandoned him) actually DOES have abyss powers and Rancourt was wrong. So now both the Fatui (Dottore) and the abyss order want Rohan because at least he looks pureblood (except for eye color) and the Fatui want him cuz his mom is Fatui)

So that’s part of the second story all that stuff that happens. It’s a mess and sorry for spoiling. Not gonna put any tags cuz I’m rambling out my ass. This is more for me anyway lol.

[searidings]

this is what happens when @ekingston and i get our hands on the prompt “that's my wife!” and agree that she'll draw my idea for it and i'll write hers (aka hearing kara call it out as she watches lena being wheeled down a hospital corridor)

“Excuse me, you can't go through there!”

Kara growls. The woman blocking her path is short and gently rounded, the kind lines of her face drooping in disapproval above her nurse's scrubs. “No visitor access beyond this point, dear. Immediate family only.”

“Immediate— you're joking, right?” Kara cranes her head, peering through the closing doors to catch a last glimpse of Lena's gurney as it rounds the corner at the end of the hall. “That's my wife!”

The nurse gapes at her. “Your—?”

Kara growls again, louder. It's a good thing she'd blown out her powers twenty minutes ago, or she would not be held responsible for the Kryptonian-shaped hole in NC Memorial Hospital's expensive surgery doors. “Yes, my wi—”

Her snarl is cut off by a hand clamping down firmly over her mouth from behind. Kara's first instinct is to bite it. She resists, narrowly, as the familiar scent of shea butter moisturiser registers in her adrenaline-fogged brain.

“You sure about that?” Alex squeaks around a nervous laugh, voice pitched a half-octave too high. She removes her hand from Kara's mouth, wiping her damp palm on her pants with a wrinkled nose. “Get hit on the head during that fight, did you?”

Kara whirls on her sister, eyes blazing. “Am I sure?” she parrots incredulously. Alex cowers a little beneath the force of her stare. “Unless you're trying to tell me I hallucinated my entire wedding—”

“Supergirl isn't married,” Alex stage-whispers loud enough to be heard in Florida, glancing pointedly down at Kara's ash-caked body and oh yeah, she's still wearing her supersuit.

Right, right.

The nurse – Rosemary, her badge reads – finally picks her jaw up off the floor long enough to speak. Her eyes are wide, sparkling with sudden glee. “So Lena Luthor and Su—”

Kara's hackles rise at the suggestion in her tone. “Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers are happily married,” she interrupts sternly. “You might have seen the wedding photos in last month's Vogue.”

The nurse smirks. At her elbow, Alex drops her head into her hands.

“Kara Danvers, hm? Amazing what a pair of glasses do for you, dear.” Rosemary's brow quirks with impish satisfaction and, oh. Whoops. It would appear that in her haste to quash any potential rumours of Lena's infidelity behind the back of her very recent, very publicly human wife, she'd forgotten about the other delicate matter at hand.

Alex sighs so long and so heavy Kara legitimately marvels that she doesn't pass out from the strain. “I knew keeping a spare NDA in my back pocket would pay off,” her sister groans, thrusting an official-looking, if crumpled, contract beneath the nurse's nose.

“Sorry,” Kara murmurs sheepishly as Rosemary signs away page after page of her right to ever disclose Supergirl's identity in any capacity. “I wasn't thinking, I can't— Alex, it's Lena.”  

“I know, I know,” her sister soothes, frustration dissipating as she reaches out to pull Kara into her side, ignoring the soot and grit that smear across her jacket at the contact. “She's gonna be okay.”

“But what if she's not?” Kara asks and the sobs arrive then, the last remnants of the fight or flight response that had propelled her this far dissipating beneath the weight of her terror. “She stepped right in front of that bullet, Alex! Of all the stupid, reckless—”

“If I recall, she was pushing you back after you shoved her out of the way in the first place,” Alex hums thoughtfully. Kara's tear-filled eyes snap to her face, incredulous, and her sister grimaces. “Right, right. Not the time.”

“She has to be okay,” she gasps, clutching hard at her sister's jacket as her knees threaten to give out beneath her. “She has to, I can't— I feel like I can't breathe. Like my heart's been ripped out.”

Alex clicks her tongue in sympathy, wrapping a firm arm round Kara's waist and guiding her to a nearby row of chairs. Rosemary deposits the signed NDA wordlessly on the hard plastic beside them, reaching into her scrubs to produce a pack of tissues.

Alex accepts, extracting one to dab at Kara's snotty, tear-stained face with her free hand. “Welcome to married life, kid,” she chuckles, pressing a kiss to Kara's matted hair. “It can be a real bitch.”

-

It's a long night.  

It's a long night, a night of anxious waiting and barely-restrained nausea and vending machine coffee so bad even Nia won't drink it. Her family, their family, crowd the waiting room, dozing across the rows of seats as the hours drag on and on.

Alex tries her best, at varying intervals, to force her back to the Tower for a stint under the sun lamps. Every time without fail, Kara sets her jaw, then sets her feet in the middle of the surgical wing waiting room and refuses to budge.

This leads to several arguments, and a lot of impassioned shoving.  

“What if she needs me?” Kara laments tearily, pout activated and puppy dog eyes firmly in place. Alex, mid-football tackle with her arms and right shoulder braced against Kara's torso as she attempts to use her entire bodyweight to force her sister toward the exit, only grunts with exertion. Behind them, J’onn dozes in the corner. Brainy and Kelly and Nia continue their conversation without batting an eyelid.

“No, scratch that, she does need me,” Kara corrects, unaffected by her sister's NFL-worthy body slam. “She's been shot. I'm not going anywhere.”

Alex, perhaps finally sensing defeat after her fourth unsuccessful attempt, gives one final shove with all her strength. Kara doesn't so much as wobble, and her sister releases her with a huff. “Fine. But for the love of God, change your clothes before you start shouting about your wife again,” she pants, red-faced and sweating as she collapses into a nearby chair. “That was my last NDA.”

That's a compromise she can make. Kara accepts the bundle of clothes Nia presents her with, stripping out of her dirt-caked suit and re-donning her glasses. Thankfully, the only person around to witness Kara entering the bathroom as a superhero and re-emerging as a Catco reporter is Rosemary.  

The updates on Lena's condition are sporadic at best. By the time the first surgeon emerges to say the bullet has been removed from Lena's chest cavity Kara's accidentally cracked three plastic chairs, advanced all the way to Lollipop Land on Alex's Candy Crush, and worn a groove into the waiting room linoleum with her nervous pacing.

When another doctor emerges three hours later to tell them Lena had developed a tension pneumothorax and needs additional treatment, Kara's made it to Rainbow Reef and chewed her bottom lip bloody.

When, at five in the morning, yet another doctor appears to inform them that Lena is being placed on anti-radiation medication to counter the Kryptonite that had coated the bullet, Kara's finished all nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-five levels of the damn game. The doctor leaves, promising to be back with more news soon, and Kara squeezes her sister's hand so hard poor Nurse Rosemary has to be called to administer an ice pack for the bruising, solar flare be damned.

Dawn breaks to find Kara scratchy-eyed and grumpy, worn ragged with worry. The waiting room begins to fill up around them, new patients and their relatives coming and going, and still there's nothing new on Lena. Every time another scrub-clad surgeon pushes through the doors Kara's heart skips a beat, all of them sitting up straighter in their seats, but every time the doctor passes them by.

Kara's just wolfed down six cold breakfast sandwiches procured by Brainy on his sojourn to the hospital cafeteria and is debating the relative merits of starting Candy Crush over from scratch when another young doctor appears. Her scrub cap has avocados on it. Kara likes her already.

“Family of Ms Luthor?” she calls, looking around, and Kara pushes up hard from her chair to the resounding snap of cracking plastic. Whoops.

“It's Luthor-Danvers,” she gabbles as she bounds over to the surgeon, palms sweating. No matter how many times she hears it, it never loses its thrill. “I'm, I'm her wife.”

The young doctor's features soften. “Of course. I've come to let you know that it looks like Ms Luthor-Danvers is out of the woods. She's sedated and still on an anti-radiation drip, but she's through the worst of it.” She appraises Kara, gaze lingering on her chewed-raw lips and clenching fingers, then leans closer conspiratorially. “It's not general visiting hours yet, but you can see her, if you'd like.”

“Yes!” Kara's shouting almost before the surgeon has finished speaking. “Yes, please, yes.”

She hugs them all, Alex and Brainy and Nia and Kelly and J’onn, and leaves them in the waiting room as she follows the doctor's sunshine-yellow crocs down the hall.

They round corner after corner, an interminable maze. Powerless as she is, she can't hear Lena’s heartbeat, and the absence of the steady beat that has become the soundtrack to her existence sets her even more on edge.  

But at last they turn a corner, and there she is. She's pale and bandaged and her eyes are closed, creamy skin streaked with dirt and bruises, but she's there, she's alive, she's Lena.  

The surgeon holds the door open for her with a smile and Kara's across the room in a heartbeat, smoothing a hand over Lena's warm cheek and pressing kiss after kiss to her forehead and hair.  

“I love you, I love you,” she whisper-cries against Lena's temple, tucking her matted curls behind her ears. The smell of blood and dirt and antiseptic is almost overwhelming, but beneath the dust and debris caught up in her hair Lena's scalp smells the same as always. Kara presses her face to the crown of her head and inhales deeply, soaking it in.  

“Why'd you have to be so damn brave?” she whispers, nuzzling her cheek against silky softness. “I love you so much. Please don't step in front of any more bullets. Please learn to be a coward, occasionally.”

The singular relief of having Lena living and breathing and in her arms again is so complete, so compounded by the fear and the adrenaline and the sleepless night and the solar flare, that she feels suddenly that she may crumple to the ground from the force of it all.

Unwilling to relinquish her hold for even a second she appraises the bandages covering Lena's right side, then crawls onto the hospital bed on her left, careful to avoid her many wires and monitors. She tucks herself in beside her on the wide mattress, chin hooked over Lena's shoulder and face pressed to the side of her neck, and lets the tears that haven't really stopped falling since that bullet had left its chamber fall for just a little longer.

Nothing matters outside of the two of them, outside of the warmth of Lena's body and the softness of her skin beneath Kara's lips and the steady thud of her heart beneath Kara's palm. Nothing else in the world exists, so when an unfamiliar male voice sounds from the doorway it takes her a moment to register the intrusion.

“Excuse me, ma’am, you really can't be on the bed with her,” the strange, disembodied voice calls from behind her and Kara frowns tiredly, unable and unwilling to acknowledge anything outside of the woman in her arms.

But before she's even managed to raise her head another voice sounds, the soft tones of a young surgeon in an avocado scrub cap.  

“Oh, honestly, Peter,” the kindly doctor says with gentle reproach, a quiet calm washing over the room as the door is pulled closed and she and Lena are left alone. “Leave them be. That's her wife.”

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

assigning midnights songs to the bau and ships

characters

emily;

anti-hero; did you hear my covert narcissism idisguise as altruism like some kind of congressman, tale as old as time, i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning for the last time

would've, could've, should've; all i used to do was pray // i would've stayed on my knees and i damn sure never would've danced with the devil (at fifteen)// if you never touched me, i would've gone along with the righteous // you're a crisis of my faith, would've, could've, should've, if I'd only played it safe // god rest my soul, i miss who i used to be, the tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind, i regret you all the time

dear reader; dear reader, get out your map, pick somewhere and just run, dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives, and if you don't recognize yourself, that means you did it right // never take advice from someone who's falling apart // dear reader when you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss // you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where i was walking, to a house, not a home, all alone

penelope, bejeweled; best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer // baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl, did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve // what's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine

jj (about ros or maggie), bigger than the whole sky; ive got a lot to pine about, ive got a lot to live without, im never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, what should've been you // did some force take you because I didn't pray? every single thing to come has turned into ashes // it's all over, it's not meant to be so ill say words I don't believe, goodbye

elle, vigilante shit; and she looks so pretty, driving in your Benz. lately she's been dressing for revenge. she don't start shit, but she can tell you how it ends, don't get sad, get even // someone sweet and kind and fun the lady simply had enough

morgan, karma; i keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean // karma is a god // me and karma vibe like that // don't you know that cash ain't the only price? it's coming back around // ask me what i learned from all those years, ask me what i earned from all those tears // im still here // karma's gonna track you down step by step, town to town

spencer, you're on your own kid; cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned, everything you lose is a step you take, so make the friendship bracelets take the moment and taste it, you've got no reason to be afraid // you're on your own, kid, you always have been

haley, high infidelity; high infidelity, put on your records, and regret me // do you really want to know where I was april 29th? do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? // storm coming, good husband, bad omen // at the house lonely, good money // you know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough, do you really want to know where i was april 29th? do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

hotchniss;

the great war; all that blood shed, crimson clover, uh-huh, sweet dream was over, my hand was the one you reached for, all throughout the great war // your finger on my hair pin triggers, hold you down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. that was the night I nearly lost you

labyrinth; it only hurts this much right now was what I was thinking the whole time, breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out, ill be getting over you my whole life// you would break your back to make me break a smile, you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back, just like that

mastermind; what if i told you none of it was accidental? and the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me, i laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line // no one wanted to play with me as a little kid so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless is this the first time I feel the need to confess? and i swear, im only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause i care

jemily:

maroon (emilys perspective); and I chose you, the one I was dancin' with in new york // the burgundy on my tshirt when you splashed your wine onto me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon //sobbin' with your head in your hands ain't that the way shit always ends? // and I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave

paris; privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours // i wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever confess my truth in swooping sloping cursive letters

snow on the beach (jjs perspective); and it's like snow at the beach, weird but it was beautiful, flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful, you wanting me tonight feels impossible, but it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around // i can't speak, afraid to jinx it. i don't even dare to wish it

glitch; we were supposed to be just friends // i think there's been a glitch, five seconds later, i'm fastening myself to you with a stitch and I'm not even sorry // a  brief interruption, a slight malfunction, id go back to wanting dudes who give nothing, ihought we had no chance and that's romance, let's dance

other ships

willifer, lavendar haze; all they keep asking me is if i'm gonna be your bride the only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife // im damned if I do give a damn what people say, no deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

hotchniss/willifer/jemily, midnight rain; he was sunshine, i was midnight rain he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain, he wanted a bride, i was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight // i broke his heart 'cause he was nice // Picture perfect, shiny family, holiday, peppermint candy but for him it's every day // i guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted

garvez, sweet nothing; they said the end is coming, everyone's up to something, i find myself running home to your sweet nothings, outside they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing // to you i can admit that im just too soft for all of it

jeid, question...?;  one thing after another fucking situation, circumstances, miscommunications and I have to say, by the way, i just may like some explanations// did you leave her house in the middle of the night? did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, when she said it was too much? do you wish you could still touch her? it's just a question // half-moon eyes, bad surprise, did you realize, out of time, she was on your mind with some dickhead guy that you saw that night but you were on something

[siliyis]

I don't miss the Naruto fandom, I really don't.

I was watching a video, minding my own business and I came across an art about Naruto characters if they were pirates in One Piece. It was literally a bunch of character designs from Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji, etc. I was enjoying it, thought they all looked cool. It was all fun and games until I read the comments. I can only show 10 ss.

How can I avoid breathing the same air as this fandom? I want to blacklist everything related to Naruto because I don't want to come across of them even accidentally. As a Sakura fan, it's just too toxic to be around y'all.

Sakura isn't flat but even if she was... what kind of comments are these?? Wtf y'all smoking? Do you treat women with small chest like this? Or is it because she a "fictional" character? There is no fandom I wish to avoid more than the Naruto fandom. I stopped watching Sakura related videos because antis be there too.

I understand people can dislike characters. I get it. I wouldn't mind if people hated spent a whole month hating on something they don't like. However, the anime ended 6 years ago... move on from your hate please. I doubt Sakura shows up in Boruto more than 3 minute every 20+ episodes. I doubt most even watch Boruto.

Almost all of the other fandoms critics and people who hate certain characters have the courtesy to NOT invade every space as it's for FANS and not haters. Other fandoms keep their dislike on their page, forum, or in a discussion. Somehow, the Naruto fandom made this disgusting behaviour socially accepted in every video and space meant for admirers. Fxxk this fandom.

[solunstell]

I'm sol, I do art I guess. They/them. Reblogs help much more than likes do!! If you're stopping by for whatever reason, check out my art tag, "sol art," which is also in this post's tags!!! I don't have a lot of time or motivation to do art rn cuz college, but I'll post every now and then!

Will probably block if you don't have a pfp, description, banner, posts, likes or whatever cuz you look like a bot.

I most often spam reblog and art Bungou Stray Dogs, Spy x Family, MCYT, Mob Psycho 100, and Chainsaw Man. I don't reblog donation posts. I sometimes also do speedpaints. I use Krita for my art and use an xp pen tablet. Currently super into Bungou Stray Dogs, Chainsaw Man, and MCYT, but have in the past focused on Danganronpa, Kagerou Project, and Kemono Jihen.

Feel free to send dms. I don't do requests, but I do take suggestions if I like them. I reblog a lot and have no queue so I WILL clog dashboards if you follow me. I don't always trigger tag my rbs, but you can ask me to tag my art with something in the ask box if I forgot something. My personal posts (tagged sol text usually) are always okay to reblog unless stated otherwise in the tags.

I am not a minor, but I would rather not disclose my personal information here past that and my pronouns. I do, however, have an anxiety disorder and autism, so I may phrase things weirdly and over clarify things or seem distant cuz as much as I enjoy talking, it does give me anxiety at first (don't let that stop you from reaching out tho! I like talking!)

If we're mutuals, feel free to talk to me or chit-chat! Asks, tags, dms, i don't care I just like to meet people lol.

I block liberally and I have a DNI: transphobes, homophobes, aphobes, racists, pro-lifers, h*rry p*tter fans [a,a], c*ll me c*rson fans [a,a], death threat senders (no matter to context), anyone that ships (including x readers of) real people (in the case of mcyt, including their smp rp characters) that are uncomfortable with it, irl yandere, and anyone that's ships minor x adult (outside of normal stuff like 17x18 or 16x18 etc) or incest. If you block for proship/anti, I do not identify with either term because definitions vary. I don't harass and am glad someone finds fun in their ships, even if I find them gross, and I, as stated, block for ships I find gross. I don't believe that adults cannot ship pedo/incest ships healthily, but I do not want to see it. I also don't believe children should be shipping these ships or be in spaces that do because they cannot tell fiction from reality as well and may not have developed the behaviors needed to interact with dark fiction (blocking, exiting the page, not reading something they know will upset them, recognizing how a piece of fiction affects them). At the end of the day, it's fiction, and fiction can be dark sometimes for any number of reasons (coping, fun, fetish/kink, exercise). That's my stance, and if any clarifications are needed, just send an ask. Keep in mind that some things on that list are not an indication of how I view them morally, but they are things I'd rather not interact with or view. There's more niche things on the list, but those I just block if I see it. Send me an ask if I break your dni (either off anon or with username included) and I'll unfollow, unreblog, or unlike whatever I did to break it and then block you so I don't accidentally do it again! I usually check for a dni when I follow or reblog, but sometimes I mess up!

I have reddit (deleted posts cuz of ai training), Instagram (deleted account cuz of ai training), bluesky, Cara, YouTube, and Ao3 all under the username solunstell. I also have (a) personal account(s) but those are not art oriented (anymore) and are for personal/professional use, so I will not link or name them.

All my tags are below.

Note: I now use cw instead of tw. I won't be going back and changing the tags, so if necessary, block both versions. Also, I use plural nouns in content warning tags, eg #cw guns. I try to be thorough, but I am open to dms asking for additional tags. Some things I don't usually tag, like bandages or eye contact, and some things I tag if they're prominent parts of the piece, eg tongues or eyes. I don't cw tag fandoms or characters cuz that's stupid if it's already regularly tagged as the fandom and character.

I don't provide image id's for my art but in the future I'd like to start using them. All of my art is, however, labeled with characters pictured, what they're from, and the date of the art's completion.

I think that's it.

[who-is-page]

Horoscopes for Alterhumans

Author: Page Type: Experimental Fiction Words: 859 Summary: A list of horoscopes for alterhumans.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for NaNoWriMo 2021. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedpaws]

Aries: You like things simple and direct, which is why you've been running from those new feelings for a few years now, isn't it? Why are you hiding, Aries? What's the worst that can happen? Introspection doesn’t have the teeth to bite you unless you give it some.

Your lucky number is a stern "fuck you" aimed at someone you hate.

Taurus: Having the coolest kintypes and the biggest (metaphorical) balls of anyone around is your burden to bear, Taurus. Also, you're just so incredibly modest. Is that a new haircut?

Your lucky number is 14, which is statistically twice as lucky as 7.

Gemini: You've been surrounding yourself with so many other people that you've lost track of yourself. It's good to keep your alterhuman pals around, but maybe you should start focusing on your own alterhumanity first. You’re your best anchor.

Your lucky number is a crunchy leaf on a sidewalk. Step on it and seize the day.

Cancer:Consider learning how to crochet to fill the gaping maw of insecurity and fear inside of you. One day you'll crab rave on the graves of your enemies, but for now, some quality time with the most important person in your life (yourself) could do you good.

Your lucky number is food shared with friends.

Leo: The life of the party, except the "party" is just you crying over a self-insert OC at 3am while simultaneously lowkey hating yourself. I get that you identify as something nocturnal, but when you start wondering where you went wrong in life and if Suzie from 3rd grade still hates your guts for the time you accidentally dropped gum in her hair, it's time to go to bed.

Your lucky number is Saint Motel's "To My Enemies".

Virgo: Stop being so critical of yourself and others. It's okay to just exist and you don't need to lean on specific things to "justify" your alterhumanity. If anyone gives you shit, just ask Aries to help you jump them. (For legal reasons, this is a joke.)

Your lucky number is 3.14. Consider treating yourself to some pie.

Libra:In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to deal with the injustice and bullshit you're unfortunately exposed to everywhere. This, however, is not an ideal world. With that said, there is literally nothing stopping you from blocking the exclusionists and anti-kink on Twitter to at least make yourself feel better.

Your lucky number is a soft, warm blanket fresh from the dryer.

Scorpio: I know you want to be a [big shot] and you've definitely got the brains and determination to do it, but you need to give yourself a break. You're not a lump of coal that will turn into a diamond with enough pressure and force, you're a sprout that will grow into a redwood if given time, patience, and effort. Also, you're a phytanthrope. Surprise!

Your lucky number is a field of flying moths and fireflies at dusk.

Ophiuchus: You think with your heart, and that can land you in trouble Ophiuchus. You can end up reading as something of a people-pleaser, spreading "#valid"s (or their equivalency in whatever your preferred lingo is) everywhere you go, which doesn't lend itself to really rewarding conversations. Don't be afraid to stop and talk to the roses, you know? You might just learn a thing or two about yourself in the process.

Your lucky number is the opposite of infinite.

Sagittarius: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Consider checking in on yourself to see if you want to disconnect from the Internet and enjoy some quality time outdoors, especially if you can immerse yourself in a place relevant to your alterhumanity. I think it would do you some good.

Your lucky number is an old-fashioned bowling alley and arcade complex, complete with colorful and tacky 90's carpet.

Capricorn: You’ve been sealing yourself off lately, and you certainly don’t need me to tell you that that’s a bad idea. Don’t be so afraid to open up to other people and, more importantly, to open up yourself. I mean that last bit literally, for the record: there’s a very small nugget of squirrelheartedness inside of you that the surgeon forgot to take out. You’ll have to handle it on your own.

Your lucky number is…wait, where did it go? I could have sworn it was here a second ago.

Aquarius: Sometimes it feels like you don’t know what to do with yourself. You have these opinions and thoughts and even beliefs, but you’re just vibing 99% of the time and content to chill on the sidelines. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does make you a pretty east target for a kinfeels ambush, so keep your eyes peeled.

Your lucky number is [̴͝ͅR̵̩͖̋Ḛ̷͖̓͘D̶̻̃̿Ȁ̶̼C̴̗͆̇T̸̛̟̦̎Ḛ̷͗͜D̸̫̠̆̊]̴̭̄͠.

Pisces: Have you considered throwing yourself into the ocean, Pisces? A cool, refreshing splash into the seawater is just the thing you need to reset the meh week you’ve been having. Just make sure to avoid the physical shifters, they’ve been wandering the beaches looking for people to kidnap and run off with.

Your lucky number is Brian Jacques’s Taggerung.

[sharpegirl]

Content Warnings for 6 TIMES WE ALMOST KISSED

Hi everyone!

It’s that time again! ARC time! Which means I’m releasing the content warnings for my January 2023 release, 6 TIMES WE ALMOST KISSED (AND ONE TIME WE DID)

Remember: there’s no shame in being triggered, there’s no shame in wanting content warnings for books you want to read, and there is NO shame in not wanting to read my book after you read the content warnings! And I will never be hurt because I want you to feel safe and my book might not be safe for you. There are lots of books (and movies and TV shows) that are not safe for me and my triggers. <3  And finally: there is no shame in reading the content warnings, thinking you’ll be fine reading, and then getting the book and reading some and realizing “Nope! Totally not happening!” It’s OK to put a book down that triggers you or has some themes that are too much for you right now (or ever!) or for any reason at all! 

CONTENT WARNINGS BEYOND THIS BREAK:

Some information for you:

6 TIMES WE ALMOST KISSED (AND ONE TIME WE DID) is a YA Romance with dual POV’s. It’s about Penny and Tate, two girls who have always clashed, but whose life paths are forever intertwined because of their mothers’ epic, life-long friendship.

When Penny’s mother is able to become a living liver donor for Tate’s mother, ending her wait for a liver transplant, the girls find themselves in new territory as their families combine their households in order to recover financially and physically together. 

The girls make a pact: they’ll be the perfect daughters during this hopeful and scary time. There’s just one problem: Penny and Tate keep almost kissing.

It’s just a thing that happens. For basically their entire teenaged existence. But some things—and some kisses—can’t stay almosts forever.

On one hand, this is a YA Romance (with a Capital R which means: HEA) about two girls who keep almost kissing and then being super in denial about the situation while everyone around them is like “wow, those two, it’s some soulmate shit.”

On the other hand, this is a YA Romance about two seventeen-year-olds who’ve had to grow up way too fast—because of a parent’s long-term illness (Tate) and because of a father’s death and a mother’s unraveling into grief (Penny).

It’s about the family you choose, the family you cling to, and the family who almost destroys you in order to survive themselves.

In short, if you’ve read my other work, this is a very Sharpe-ish Romance novel. It is not a Rom-Com (alas, I am not funny enough to write a Rom-Com), it’s an angsty Romance novel about trauma, rural medical access, and admitting you’re in love with the person who keeps witnessing your very worst moments, but still sees the good in you. Also there is an almost kiss in a pool, as there should be.

The Content Warnings for 6 TIMES WE ALMOST KISSED (AND ONE TIME WE DID) are below: 

Abuse: emotional abuse and neglect of a daughter by a mother

Assault: a slap (off-page), mentions of an interrupted assault that happened 25+ years earlier, rock throwing.

Medical: mentions of being diagnosed and living with ovarian cancer years earlier, mention of remission, mention of an oophorectomy, mention of death from ovarian cancer, undergoing a living liver donation as a donor and as a recipient, dealing with Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency, acquiring a tug o’ war injury that nearly severed fingers and required surgery, mentions of physical therapy to deal with tug o’ war injury, dealing with the aftermath of a tug o’ war injury (post-op two years), mentions of suicidal ideation and pain medication being monitored, character with PTSD from experiencing a rafting accident, character working towards a mental health diagnosis.

Death: accidental death of a parent (father) witnessed and survived by the teenaged daughter, mentions of suicidal ideation and pain medication being monitored.

Misc: denial of therapy and anti-therapy and anti-medication attitudes (adult character),

If you have read 6 TIMES WE ALMOST KISSED (AND ONE TIME WE DID) and feel like I missed anything and you have the time, please send me an email at tess@tess-sharpe.com and let me know. I want to make this list as inclusive as possible and sometimes I miss stuff! 

[fairyhaven13]

I saw this making the rounds among the Self Shippers I follow, so I had to do one! I saw this on @shiny-self-shipping‘s page for reference. I did edit the name, though, because although these OCs all started as self-ships, now they look absolutely nothing like me. But, they were still created with the intention of shipping with a favorite character, and I think they count. I had to add a couple extra rows because I just have so many. I’ll put some info on each ship under the cut.

Kind vs Cruel--that’s my non-Hazbin version of Alastor (I use him in the Owl House instead) with an OC I haven’t fully decided on a name for. I’m still working on figuring out her story. Right now I’m thinking she accidentally brings Alastor from the Boiling Isles to the human world and has to teach him how to live there.

Morosexual and Moron--that’s another unnamed OC with Sun Wukong, specifically the version of him from Lego Monkie Kid. He’s an overconfident idiot with a good heart. What’s not to love?

Drive Each Other Nuts--Barbara Ann Berry, or just “Ann,” who works for King Dice at the casino. She’s always causing trouble, and he’s always getting onto her case for it, but they love each other anyway.

Dork and Debonair--my TF2 class, Snitch, with the red Spy. Gosh, I drew him awful. His face is surprisingly difficult to capture.

Criminal Pals to Lovers--Pepper, an alien from outside Star Command’s influence, rebuilds Nos4a2 and they become partners in crime.

Height Difference--Zoe and Troy are sent back in time to Borderlands 2 and become part of the Vault Hunter gang there, falling in love in the process.

Peppy and Grumpy--Dottie was originally Cad’s target, but she ends up helping him enough that they become partners. She’s a sweetheart and he hates it but he gets fond of her as time goes on.

It’s About Power--Layne is my Courier Six and is very smart and very strong. She won’t let Dean be in control like he wants to be. He very unexpectedly gets flustered by this.

Lit Major and Drama Major--Jill is a New Yorker with a calm outlook and thinks she’s very profound. Scarecrow is a perceptive ham who shows Jill that she isn’t as great as she thought she was.

Sunshine and Tsundere--Rynn Spicito gets the card pack instead of Luke and glitches the game out, getting physically sucked into it. She is enamored by P03 and refuses to leave him alone, and he won’t admit he likes it, even when he ends up saving her from the agent who came to kill her.

Mom Friend and Dad Friend--Barb runs into Sam and Max on a mission gone crazy (as usual) and ends up part of the team. She’s very maternal and is always watching after the two, scolding them when they’re particularly rotten and baking them cookies on the side.

Poised Perfection and Ditz--Sally May got pulled into the Dishonored games through Void shenanigans and the Outsider is baffled by it. She loves teasing him and running around like a headless chicken and it amuses him greatly.

Hurt/Comfort--Marylin, my Anti-Maria Robotnik, is knee-deep in the war with Zobotnik when her team captures Ztarline. He quickly realizes that, A, she is a Robotnik, and B, she is a kindhearted one who won’t betray him, and joins her side. He briefly is terrified when Finitevus turns her into Enerjak but honestly he finds it more enamoring. They’re there for each other when they weep over past memories in the middle of the night.

Nervous Wreck and Monster--Parcel was from the normal dimension on Earth and was pulled into the crazy side Hat Kid landed on. She is terrified of Snatcher, but he ropes her into a contract as his mailwoman and she’s too happy to have job security to complain. She catches Snatcher off guard by bonding with him through it.

Hermbo and Tired Cynic--Sarah is a half-Trill who ends up on DS9. Her inclusion changes the timeline and Weyoun ends up on the station as well, with her teaching him how to Person. She’s endlessly optimistic and it’s what keeps him going.

[the-phoenix-heart]

10 Amazing Futurama Comics

There is a severe lack of Futurama content on this and other sites (seriously, the Night at the Museum movies have more fics than Futurama). And, nobody posts about the Futurama comics. So I’m posting 10 of my favorites.

10. Attack of the 50-Foot Amy (Issue #33)

It’s actually not as sexual as the cover makes it out to be. The basic premise is that Amy mistakes the can of growth spray (that Cubert and Dwight want to use for their science fair project) for hair spray and sprays waaaay too much before her anniversary date with Kif. Meanwhile, Bender teaches Fry the wonders of video piracy, but after he gets scared by a movie home alone style he eats his disc of pirated movies and starts uncontrollably acting them out. You can probably guess how these two plots connect.

While I do list this one as one of my favorites, it’s far from perfect. The artwork is good, but the scaling on Amy is very wonky so she looks more like a twenty-foot Amy (also Dwight’s eyes are drawn weird in this comic, he looks blazed out the entire time). But I cannot help but be charmed by this comic. It’s got some sweet Bender and Fry friendship moments and actually makes me believe Kif and Amy’s relationship for a little bit. They are very sweet in this comic, although Kif does go through some pain in this comic.

Best moments: They way they resolve the plot is actually pretty funny and clever, plus Bender hopped up on pirated movies is a joy. At one point Fry gets shoved by Steven Spielbot (don’t ask) and Bender goes all Rocky on his ass saying “No one talks to my gal, Adrian, like that!” It’s very sweet and...subtextual if you understand my meaning. This one also has anti comic book piracy message at the end which was ironic for me to read.

9. Doctor What (Issue #32)

The Professor creates a time traveling port-a-potty so that you can pee in whatever time and space you want, although it’s completely random. However, Zoidberg accidentally breaks the potty, so him, Leela, Fry, and Bender have to keep randomly flushing to get back home. On each of these new worlds Zoidberg keeps accidentally saving the citizens, getting medals, and ends up becoming addicted to the fame he keeps winning. Which leads to them getting stuck in a post apocalyptic New New York.

This is the infamous Leela-Bender-Fry fusion comic, Leelan von Fry-Bot. His backstory is actually a little sad, but I won’t spoil it here. This one is pretty good, because it has Zoidberg as the hero. Actually quite a few of these feature Zoidberg as a fourth member of the delivery crew which is weird, but not entirely unwelcome. It’s also fun to see these other worlds, and now that I think about it it’s actually a little similar to The Late Phillip J. Fry, what with the time travel to different interesting worlds.

Best Moments: I actually liked Leelan’s backstory, and his interactions with his “parents” (you’ll understand when you read it) are actually pretty funny and a little cute. Fry really wants to be a dad you can tell.

8. The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis II

The professor creates a device that takes characters out of their stories into the real world. Trouble is, he tells the mayor that this invention is useful because you can get slave labor out of the characters because they technically have no constitutional rights. The Simpsons end up working with the Planet Express crew, but an accident leads to the release of ALL FICTIONAL CHARACTERS EVER.

This is a sequel comic to the Futurama Simpsons Infinitely Secret Crossover Crisis (fun fact: a reference to several famous comic book arcs). I chose this one above it though because I think it understood the assignment better. The original is funny, but I just don’t think that Springfield is a good setting for a Futurama crossover. Springfield for all its zaniness, is not the future. New New York, however, is great for this crossover. We get several scenes where we see the Simpsons going through space and fighting off monsters. We even get to see the other residents of Springfield in the future, Mr. Smithers becomes a space pirate and Mr. Burns falls in love with Mom, it’s great.

Best Moments: Some of them I already mentioned, but I cannot stress enough how hilarious the Burns-Mom romance is, it’s especially good when you can hear their voices in your head. I also like the friendship the Simpsons have with the Planet Express crew.

7. Six Characters in Search of a Story (Issue #14)

This is a very interesting comic. The Professor falls asleep, so to pass the time the crew decides to look through his old failed inventions, and well, that’s a very bad idea. The most interesting thing about this comic is it’s designed so that if you want you can only read certain panels to follow one person’s story. The Futurama comics do this a lot of the time and it’s always interesting.

The shenanigans that occur in this one are really funny, and there are some great looking pages in this. Also the Futurama crew clearly took ideas from the comics, and this is one of them. You can tell from the cover art that this does have elements of “Benderama” in it, what with Bender cloning himself ad infinitum. I also really like the climax, it’s a little schmultz-y for Futurama, but I don’t mind.

Best Moments: Fry gets stuck with a Spanish speaking Bender and I don’t know why but it’s really funny to me. The professor also gets some funny moments in this one. And Scruffy. Scruffy is always a delight.

6. Igner-ance is Bliss! (Issue #63)

Yeah this is the infamous robot Leela and Fry comic. Don’t worry, like the cover says, it’s not as dramatic as it looks. The crew has to go to a world that’s too dangerous for humans, so Fry, Leela, and Zoidberg all have their consciousnesses put into robot doubles so they can make the delivery. However, it turns out this planet is a sort of getaway spa for robots, and the crew decides to party it up there, at least until Bender discovers that this is a front for an evil plot by Mom. The subplot is mostly about how Igner is not respected by his brothers.

This one is fun, and I love a comic where Bender has to be the voice of reason. It is clearly killing him to be the responsible one, but I love it. Also, I have a soft spot for Igner, so it’s nice to see him get thrown a bone for once. This also has some really fun jokes with everyone, but Zoidberg in particular gets some bangers. I think my only problem is it ISN’T as cool as the cover makes it out, but like I’m happy with what it is.

Best Moments: Fry beats up Bender at one point and wins, I think he deserved it. Also, y’all know Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars? He makes some cameos in this one. Also all the robots (sans Bender) make a Japanese style mecha and it’s the coolest thing ever. Plus everything I’ve said about Igner I love in this one. Oh also Fry beats Calculon at poker and I really love that.

5. Who’s Dying to be a Gazillionaire? (Issue #5)

This one is sweet. The IRS is threatening to bankrupt Planet Express, and if they can’t think of a way to make a million dollars they will go out of business. No one really has any ideas and doesn’t even really care, except for Fry who is determined to save Planet Express. He gets the idea to go onto Who Wants to be a Gazillionaire to make the money, even though it’s a trivia show and if he loses he will die.

This one really warms my heart, it’s Fry at his best, just doing what he can for the people he loves. Even the professor is great in this one. I don’t want to spoil it, but trust me when I say it’s good (god I hope I’m not building this up too much).

Best moments: The end panel. But also the resolution of the story is great, and I really appreciate this comic for Fry as a character.

4. Rumble in the Jungle (Issue #38)

This is a fine comic. Leela is mad that she’s not being respected by Fry and Bender, and it’s bad enough that they don’t believe her when she says they’re going to crash into a planet. They end up parachuting down and getting separated. Leela ends up as queen of some workers in the “Amazon,” meanwhile Fry finds Bender’s corpse and goes off to avenge him.

This one is fun, and another fun one for Fry, because he’s determined to avenge Bender and works hard for it. This also includes the original Frender, not the ship but fusion. Leela and Fry even have a fight scene against each other and it’s honestly great.

Best Moments: Fry is great throughout the entire comic, and Leela spends most of her time beating up random animals. Bender also using a lead parachute he made out of toys he stole from children is funny, especially because I’m always a sucker for Bender doing dumb shit.

3. Don’t Go Taking My Heart! (Issue #69) (nice)

Mom only has a couple weeks to live, unless she can get a heart transplant. It’s revealed that Mom uses the cryogenics lab to get new body parts for herself, and that Fry was supposed to be her heart donor! Unfortunately, because he was unfrozen she now has to get him to work for Mom Corp to make sure his heart stays intact for the procedure.

If you can’t tell I love the Fry-centric comics, and I also like the comics where Mom is the villain. Of course this comic doesn’t go completely how you expect it to go, it’s actually REALLY sweet. I also love the fact that in this comic Fry actually makes a great intern. He basically has the job of a secretary and he’s GOOD at it. And I love seeing when Fry is good at things. The reason why I put this at only 3 is because it doesn’t really have a subplot. Bender gets a job at mom corp to but it’s only there for a couple pages, and Leela’s new crew gets two panels and that’s it.

Best Moments: The moments with Mom and Fry, but also guess who Mom’s doctor is? I’m actually not going to reveal it because it’s so random but also hilarious.

2. Boomsday! (Issue #58)

The Professor builds Bender his own parents, as a way to placate/discipline Bender. However, these parents decide that Fry is a bad influence on Bender, leading to them kicking him out. Meanwhile, the Professor’s doomsday devices are all stolen, and he has to go find them.

Both of these plots are funny and good. Bender’s plot is also really sweet what with his friendship with Fry, and his wish for parents. Meanwhile the Professor’s plot is just really funny and I do love seeing the Professor in his element. The ending is mostly heartwarming.

Best Moments: Everything with Fry and Bender, and Bender has a sweet relationship with his fake parents. Also, the Professor uses Issac Asimov candles on the robot mafia which I found a great joke. Oh, and the Professor’s first doomsday device was made when he was four years old and I love that. The end of the comic also has very nice message.

1. Rotten to the Core (Issue #27)

The world’s weather has gone kerflooey, and the Professor has figured out that his invention that can drill into the center of the Earth has been used. It conspires that Bender sold it at a yard sale to some aliens call the magmoids. The magmoids are trying to steal magma from the Earth’s core and the crew has to go and stop them.

This is my favorite because it’s a great character comic. All of the main three have great moments, and it’s also a great science comic. The Earth’s core is incredibly magnetic so of course Bender starts spouting out folk songs, and also SECRETS. I can’t believe no one has used the fact that canonically magnets make Bender incapable of telling lies. Anyway, it’s just really fun.

Best Moments: Way too many to count. Bender and Fry are told to cut out the “Brokeback Moanin,’“ Leela and Fry are bitter at the end, Fry tells story about his childhood, Bender has some great secrets to tell, the Professor gets a really fun ending, Bender has a rare moment of generosity, and the entirety of the climax is all kinds of fun and sweet.

[neon-pink-leitner]

Q, for the ask

This one is "Have you ever left a fandom"

Yes. I use to be on Twitter and ran a very successful account based around the Marvel symbiote. Scream. At its peek I had around 1k followers and did three episodes of a podcast and an interview with another very popular Venom youtuber. After Scream: Curse Of Carnage got cancelled myself and a few friends decided to make a day in August for "International Scream Symbiote Day" that did extremely well in the Twitter comic community, to this day I wonder if the work we did on that even is what really helped Marvel decided to order a short run for a summer Carnage event. I also got one of my letters to editor published in an issue of Absolute Carnage. Cosplayed as Scream at a convention and got to meet both Donny Cates and Ryan Stegmen.

I ran what was called a "Let's Talk" blog. It kind of had the same vibe as those "fuck yeah" blogs that you'd find on tumblr in the early 2010's. The Let's Talk community started out really good. We had a discord server and it was a nice place.

Until it wasn't.

It started with a few people getting called out for legit bad things. Homophobia, transphobia and I swear one person turned out to be a fucking Nazi. All good reasons to blast someone but it didn't stop with that, pretty soon any tiny misstep could get you blasted.

Soon after I started watching people get ripped apart for honest mistake. I remember at one where someone accidentally misgendered another person. They apologized right away and used the correct pronouns and issued a public apology on their page. They got death threats and left the community. To make it worse I'm pretty sure they were a teenager as not everyone in the community was a legal adult. It got worse. Soon if one person said something another person didn't like, boom. They'd get ripped apart by that person's friends. It turned into this high school click that was a shell of what it was.

I stopped having fun with my page and started feeling like I had to be very careful with what I said or I'd be next. I even changed my name on ao3 because of this because I was worried my Symbrock fics would get found and I'd get attacked by anti-shippers. I started feeling like I was being watched all the time because I knew if I said one thing wrong or made any mistakes at all that I'd be "ruined"

I'm not really sure when I left really. I just slowly stopped posting. It helped that I didn't like what Marvel did with Scream and her host Andi Benton. The Venom comics got to be too much price wise to keep up on(without privating them and jesus if the community found out you were using free comic reading sites). I sat down with myself and decided I didn't want to be around people like that. I didn't want to have to walk on eggshells and worry about getting bullied if I said the wrong thing. So I walked away.

I was already on tumblr and ended up in the homemaking community and good gods jesus christ that's a fucking cult and I don't recommend that either. But that's a totally different tale. After I woke up from that I found myself again through Cyberpunk and help from my family and well, here we are!

[infernwetrust]

In His Office [Michael Langdon x Fem Reader]

Summary: A recent change in your shift allows for you to have lunch with Michael at his brand new dealership.

Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT. Swearing. I think that’s about it.

WC: 2.5k

A/N: This idea came to me recently today lol. We all know Michael Langdon isn’t a stranger to a little office sex. I imagined this one with F&R Michael. Thank you for reading! -Juno

Michael walked around his dealership, hands clasped behind his back as he silently studied his employees at work. Not wanting Michael to always stress over his job as the anti-Christ, you convinced him to pursue something else that he was interested in. Why not start a business, he had thought. He decided that he would own a decent sized car lot, divided into 3 sections; luxury, middle-class, and pre-owned vehicles. The business took off well as he constantly won awards throughout the year whether it be for most sales or outstanding customer service.

He could feel the eyes burning into him as he walked passed, from employees and customers alike. He knew he was attractive. He knew that some of his workers wanted to screw him, but he paid their nasty thoughts no mind. He dressed in all black as usual. A black button up shirt that hugged his figure perfectly, tight black jeans, sporting the Michael Kors belt you had gotten him for his birthday, and his favorite pair of black dress shoes to go with it. He never went anywhere without wearing the platinum chain, which proudly displayed his last name, around his neck. That was also a gift from you.

His hands shifted behind his back and his thumb brushed against his wedding band, causing him smile a little bit as he finished walking the floor, returning to his office and taking a seat at his desk. He looked down at the wedding band, reminding himself of the passionate encounter that the two of you had shared a few nights ago.

"Michael..." you whispered against his lips as he lay comfortably between your legs.

"Hmm, my love?" he questioned, his blue eyes meeting yours, his lips not moving an inch away from yours.

"I want you to wear your ring while you make love to me. I want to see it. I want to be reminded of your commitment to me." He smiled against your lips because funny enough, it was something he always thought of too. Normally he would take it off to avoid it flying off his finger due to any sudden hand movements while the two of you got lost in each other.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"I have your weekly sales report, Mr. Langdon." his lovely Ms. Mead said, walking into his office and gently placing the folder on his desk. He smiled warmly at her, taking a bite of his now cold bagel before moving the folder closer to him. It was only right that he made her head of the financials. She was so good with numbers and always had Michael's files correctly placed together.

"Now you know you don't have to call me that." he said to her. "Michael, Mike, even son, works just fine for me."

"I know." she said. "But we're in your place of business, my dear. I will always address you with respect."

"You're too good to me, you know that?" All she could do was smile. "Took care of me when no one else would, never left my side, always provided for me. I won't ever be able to thank you enough." She was going to say something else when Michael's front desk receptionist walked into his office, his shirt drenched in coffee.

"Jeremy what the fuck happened to you?"Michael questioned, furrowing his eyebrows as one of his first impression's of his establishment was now completely a mess. "You can't fucking greet people like that. What type of business do you think I'm running here?"

"There's a woman, in the lobby." he began, out of breath. "She keeps demanding that I direct you to her office and that she's your wife. I think she's crazy, but I tried letting her know that you're a very busy man and that she'd have to call in advance to meet with you, but she wouldn't take no for an answer." A smile crept its way across Michael's face as he snapped his fingers, restoring Jeremy's outfit back to its original state. Yup. That was you.

"Yeah, that sounds like my wife." Michael said, grinning alongside Ms. Mead. "Perhaps you should of listened to her the first time."

"But sir, I was just trying to-,"

"Ah ah. I've heard enough. Walk her back here and make sure you get nothing else thrown on you for the rest of the day or your fired. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." Jeremy said lowly, turning to exit Michael's office and get you.

"These fucking new hires, huh?" Michael questioned, looking at Ms. Mead.

"You let Jeff and Mutt do the hiring when you really should pass that job along to Gallant. He would make sure the right people were working here."

"That he would. That he would..." Michael agreed, rubbing underneath his chin. And then you walked into the room. With a recent shift change, you now got off at 2PM, which means you were able to meet Michael for his lunches that he took at 2:30. He stared at you, smiling devilishly, running his fingers across his bottom lip.

"You're lucky I don't fire you my fucking self." you said to Jeremy as he escorted you in.

"My apologies, Mrs. Langdon." he said, with his head low.

"Yeah, whatever. You can get out now." He wasted no time, quickly leaving the room, accidentally bumping into the side of the door, causing the 3 of you to giggle. "Ugh, Michael, don't tell me you're still chewing on that bagel I sent you to work with." You walked over to his desk, engulfing Ms. Mead into a tight hug, which she gladly returned before planting a kiss on your cheek.

"I'll leave you two, to it." she said, giving Michael a nod before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Why so bossy today?" Michael questioned, sitting up in his chair and resting his hands on his desk, admiring your unique figure.

"Between work today and your stupid front desk agent, I'm just ready to eat lunch with you and for you to come home."

"It was that bad today?"

"If I could throw my computer out of the window with no consequences, I would." Michael chuckled, grabbing his bag of Panera Bread. You knew his favorite. Turkey Bacon Bravo, with avocado, extra, extra, avocado. Cheddar Broccoli soup and a Coke.

"You and me both, my Queen." Michael grabbed a remote, the one that control the shades in his office. He lowered them, half way, just so that no one walking by would be able to peak in at the two of you. "Staying with me until I get off at 5 or do you just want to take my car and go home and then come back for me?”

"You know I am. I've missed you terribly today."

"Is that why my front desk boy ended up covered in coffee?" The two of you looked at each other with a grin. "A temper just like mine. Mrs. Langdon, I love it, just as much as I love you."

"I love you too." you responded. "My temper is how I keep things in order."

"Mmmm." Michael hummed. "Tell me about it."

After lunch, Michael returned to his duties, going over his sales reports, moving things where they needed to go, and sending out emails and reminders. You loved watching him work. You loved how fast his fingers moved a crossed the keys and how his gaze never broke away from the task at hand. You were mainly focused on his outfit choice for today. You had no idea he would be leaving the house in an outfit that pointed out ALL of his features. Though he was soft, you could still see the full outline of his length through his jeans when he sat down. His chest, outlined against his shirt perfectly, you could just make out his nipples. The size of Michael's thighs drove you insane, that you couldn't help but come over in the chair you were sitting in and start rubbing them.

His focus still didn't break and while you knew he preferred to stay focused on his work, today it didn't seem like he cared. He allowed you to rub his thigh, his breathing slightly increasing as he typed up a inventory report. When he paused for a moment, wanting to crack his knuckles, you took the opportunity to spin his chair around so that it was facing you. The both of you immediately made eye contact, but no words were spoken. You could read his face and he could read yours. You were both on on the same page. He grabbed another remote, this time the stereo remote, turning it on, leaving the music at a reasonable volume.

Your hands were already fumbling with his belt as you got it unclasped. You quickly unbuttoned his jeans, Michael kicking off his shoes and moving them to the side. You pulled them down, bringing his boxers down with his, revealing his semi-hard cock. And all you did was touch him. You knew how much Michael craved you, both intimately and non-intimately. He was weak underneath your touch most of the time. You got on your knees in front of him, hands on his thighs as you slowly took him into your mouth. He let out a Godly sigh, leaning his head back as you got to work on him.

"Ssssh." you said, popping him out of your mouth. "It seems to be a busy day for you. You don't want your customers to know what's going on behind your office doors do you?"

"And what if I do?" Michael questioned, his cock twitching from missing your mouth.

"Well let's pretend you don't. No noises. Can you do that for me, daddy?" Michael's jaw clenched at the name and he bit his lip slightly. Silent Michael was sight to see. While extremely audible Michael was one of your favorites, nothing beat looking up at him and watching as he expressed his pleasure with his face and body.

You took him back into your mouth, slowly bobbing your head up and down on his length. Michael's jaw dropped. He desperately wanted to moan. He wanted you to know how good you were making him feel, but he kept it quiet. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, never taking his eyes off you. He didn't bother to take it off, his chest and torso for the most part exposed, his chain landing perfectly in the middle of chest. You licked up and down the sides of his shaft, using your hand to stroke circles around his spit glazed tip. The sound of the wetness drove the both of you crazy. Your own arousal soaked through your panties.

Putting him back in your mouth, you sucked on just his tip, using both of your hands to stroke the rest of his length. Looking up at him, he looked so beautiful. He was breathing heavily as he peered back down at you, running his hand through his hair, his hips starting to thrust upwards in your hand to try and match your pace. His foot found its way between your legs and using his big toe, he slowly rubbed it across your clit, causing you to moan lowly around him, the vibrations ripping through him.

You were sucking faster now, moving your hands faster. He gripped both sides of his office chair, before deciding to let them go, wanting his hands wrapped up in your hair instead. You moved your hands, knowing what he was wanting to do. Welcoming it. And you loved watching him do it too. His thrusts in your mouth started off slow and gently, before they became rough and fast. You looked up at Michael again, who was now breathing so rapidly you thought that maybe he could be hyperventilating. You could see him mouthing the word fuck over and over and over.

He stood up abruptly, pulling you up with him before smashing his lips onto yours, immediately sliding his tongue into your mouth, the two of you fighting for dominance. He was quick to rid you of your clothes before pulling his shirt all the way off. With a quick wave of his hand, everything that was now on his desk, was on his office sofa, neatly stacked so that he could return to it lately. He picked you up, setting you down on his desk.

"Now can you do the same for me?" he asked, quickly sliding into you, catching you off guard. Sensing your impending loud moan he quickly put a hand over your mouth. "No noises yes? Or I'll stop and we'll have to finish this at home." You nodded against his hand and he slowly moved in and out of you at a rhythmic pace. You pulled him by the back of his neck, closer to you, putting your lips directly against his ear. His hands roamed all over you, squeezing your breasts, playing with your nipples as he gradually increased the pace at which he fucked you. Your hands travelled up and down his back when suddenly he grabbed them, pinning them above your head.

You swore the desk was inching farther and farther away from the area it resided in as he now pounded into you relentlessly and you could help but let out a cry of pleasure, or at least you tried to, but Michael knew you all to well. He used his powers to keep you quiet, your mouth wanting to make noise, but nothing but breaths and pants coming out.

"Poor, girl." Michael said between breaths. "Dishing out challenges you can't even do yourself. Now look, I have to use my powers to keep your mouth shut. Pathetic. You enjoy being my little office toy?" You nodded vigorously. Not only had your shift change allowed you to have lunch with Michael, but it was just the fact that you were now able to spend the rest of his work filled day with him, sex or no sex.

"That's what I thought." he continued, his pounding becoming sloppier and sloppier as he neared his climax, you not following too far behind. When he let your hands go, they immediately found their way to his hair, giving it a sharp tug to which he inhaled sharply to stop himself from cursing. You grabbed him by his throat, pulling him back down towards you as you neared your orgasm, foreheads pressed against each other with nothing but pure love and lust in the both of your eyes.

You let go first, squirming violently against Michael, who sloppily kissed you following his own release shortly after, breathing and panting loudly in each other's mouths. You both rode out your orgasms until the pleasure was completely gone.

"This shift change is going to be so much fun." Michael said as he rested his face in your neck.

"So much fun, Mr. Langdon. So much fun." you said back.

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid @theneverendinghunger

[sockablock]

I’ve had a small idea for a little while now, so I’m testing the waters with a first chapter! It’s a bit long, so excuse me there, but hopefully y’all enjoy reading! :3

—

It began with a letter that arrived one morning as Essek sat alone in the kitchen.

The courier himself had seemed just as surprised to be delivering a message to the reclusive Shadowhand, but a cursory glance at the carefully-folded envelope and a less-cursory casting of Detect Magic had signaled no foul play. So Essek took the letter, settled back beside the dining table, and floated over a glass of chilled juice for the reading.

His eyes flicked over the return address, and though it did seem familiar, it did not immediately spark recognition. His first real impression of the message was simply that of crisp, neatly-printed handwriting and the faintest whiff of…hmm. Lavender.

The letter began with a standard greeting.

To Shadowhand Essek Thelyss—

I hope you have been keeping well since we spoke. It has been some time, and I admit it is strange for me also as I realize this is likely the first letter I have sent you since our meeting.

He sipped the juice.

You are a busy man, and I would not intrude on your time if my request is unwelcome or unfeasible. But you see, in the time since we have ended the war and sealed away the Chained Oblivion—

Essek nearly spat out his drink.

He managed, in the proceeding moments, to weakly swallow, and shakily set his glass back onto the table. He cleared his throat once or twice. He gently coughed.

He picked up the envelope he had discarded earlier and quickly, the pieces fit together.

The Firmaments. Eastern district. The neighborhood where once, Den Thelyss had provided a house for a ragtag group of outsiders…

He snatched the letter back into the air.

—and semi-accidentally, though certainly also purposefully toppled the Cerberus Assembly.

Essek had to pause and re-read that sentence. It still didn’t sink in until nearly a minute later. He rubbed his temples, and resumed.

As such, it has befallen on I, and by extension the rest of the Mighty Nein to rebuild some of the arcane infrastructure of the Empire. To be more specific, in our meeting with King Dwendal’s court, a lord accused us of trying to cripple the nation by eliminating a powerful institution of magic and Beauregard volunteered that I would be the best candidate to replace it. One comment led to another, and perhaps it was our past efforts in politicking, or our recent defeat of the Maw of Eternal Darkness—

Essek wondered if he had any alcohol.

—but the court ultimately, shockingly, decided that I should be put in charge of creating and overseeing a new arcane academy for the Dwendalian Empire. And so, at the time in which I am writing you this letter, I have been appointed the Headmaster of a new Soltryce Academy, though I certainly will not be keeping that name.

It is with this in mind that I am writing to you now, my friend. For you see, despite the apparent confidence of my friends and my “superiors,” I do not believe I am capable of running a school on my own. Certainly not implementing the necessary infrastructure to have a school of any repute by the next century as well. And though I have my friends, and some resources, and an idea of where to start, the destruction of the Assembly and the Cobalt Soul’s anti-corruption efforts have left our nation in a sorry state regarding reputable mages. So, my dear friend, as we have worked together in the past, I have quite a large favor to ask.

And as Essek’s eyes continued scanning further down the page, the sinking sensation gripping his stomach was not helped by the decanter of plum wine that floated over to his table.

—

Meanwhile, beneath a shining sun on what seemed like the opposite side of the world, Caleb Widogast, the appointed head of a yet-to-be-named-academy was being berated by one of his closest friends.

Beau at least had possessed the decency to shut the tent flap so the army of woodworkers outside would not hear this.

“—suspicious! Caleb, there’s no way it’ll work. And not just because he’s the Shadowhand of the Bright Queen, also because…because…well…everything!”

“I think if he carried an umbrella during the day—”

“Not what I’m talking about,” Beau said. “I’m talking about literally every other problem that asking Essek to teach will cause, good gods.”

Caleb leaned back on the small wooden crate that was currently serving as his favorite chair. The slightly-larger crate he was using for a desk said “Honigblumen Brewery” on it.

“Well, nobody will be teaching for quite some time yet,” he said, “so we will have plenty of chances to work out the kinks.”

Beau shook her head at him, then took a seat. “I’m so far down disbelief city that I’m not even going to talk about the fact that you just said kinks.”

“I meant—”

She waved a dismissive hand. “I know what you meant, and here’s what I mean. Caleb, as much as I know you like Essek, there’s no way any of this is gonna work. First of all, he’s already got a job as the Shadowhand, and I doubt he’d wanna give up a cushy position like that to come work for a nothing-at-all school in the middle of the Empire.”

“Ja, I know, I know, I’ve thought about that—”

“And did you think about the part where he’s the fucking Shadowhand and you’ve asked him to come to the middle of the Dwendalian Empire to teach a goddamn gen-ed course?!”

Caleb was quiet for a moment. And then he said:

“Actually, I was thinking of asking him to take the more advanced levels—”

Beau reached across the ale crate to flick Caleb in the head. “And you don’t see a problem with that, at all? Caleb, for the gods’ sake, use your stupidly big head to consider the fuckin’ political ramifications of that. If the Empire catches wind of this, they’re gonna hate it, war over or not over. And I don’t even mean that in a ‘there’s gonna be shitty racism’ way, which is something else you’ll probably have to deal with later, I meant that in a ‘think about his last job description way.” And speaking of that, I mean, on Essek’s side, really, are you really expecting him to really settle down and help teach after he’s spent a lifetime—a human lifetime—being a military spymaster? Not to mention the fact that he’s a power-hungry war criminal who betrayed his own nation to get ‘arcane secrets’ or whatever. Seriously, dude, there’s no scenario where this goes well for you or him.”

At Caleb’s expression, Beau’s tone eased just slightly and she added, as a peace offering, “Really, dude.”

Caleb sighed. He scratched at his head.

“I…look. I…I think you’re right, but…there are also good possibilities of having him around. He is knowledgeable, he is skilled, I know his magic firsthand, and he has always been trustworthy—”

“Ha!”

“—for us, Beauregard. I think he is one of our best potential candidates, especially as he is only one of three so far. Just…trust me on this one, alright?”

She studied his face intently. The sheerness of the tent walls let in quite a bit of light, giving both of their eyes a faint, sunny sparkle.

With these two, though, it was more of a manic glint.

“What’s this really about?”

“Was?”

Beau leaned closer. “I said, what’s this really about? I don’t think that’s your only motivation. And if I’m gonna trust you, you’ve gotta be straight with me. I know you’re not an idiot, so I believe you when you say you’ve thought about the risks. What’s made them all worth it? What do you really think, and don’t give me that crap about him being a good teacher. You’ve got good teachers. Two advanced ones anyway, and you said yourself yesterday that the rest can be trained. So what’s up? What’s your real game here?”

Caleb floundered only slightly under the intensity of her stare.

“How long have we known each other now? No, fuck that, I pulled you out of the mouth of a forsaken god. Tell me, dickwad. Come on, it’s me.”

And after a moment, Caleb pinched his nose.

“It’s…it’s… it’s partially selfish. And…”

This, Beau understood. She nodded. “And…?”

“And…well, I…was thinking last night, after dinner, about who I want on this project. Aside from you all. And I realized…thinking about everything we have been through, that…for the most part, especially after our…revelations at sea, Essek is one of the people I want around. Largely because, well…”

He gave another sigh.

“Because I want to see what has become of our Xhorhastian friend. More importantly, I want to see if he has…or…could, ah, change.”

“Change,” she said flatly.

“Ja. I…I think I need to seem him change.”

“Because?”

“Because...” Caleb exhaled. “After everything we have been through, what we have seen, after fighting against the Assembly and watching so many mages crumble, I find myself searching for…assurance. Assurance that not every wizard is bad. Assurance that we even deserve this second change. And…if at all possible, what I most would like is to know that anyone, even the most driven and ambitious, the most ruthless, cutthroat, power—as you said, power-hungry—wizard can be shown that there is another way. That…ultimately, all of us can be redeemed.”

He looked back up, and raised an eyebrow. “I want to make this school a force for change. And I want to make it a place where we change, too. I said once before, and I still believe it is so, that Essek and I have a lot of things in common. It is time to see how much we can be changed.”

Beau did not answer for a drawn-out moment, but neither did she look away.

“I think you’re pretty changed, Caleb. That should be a point in your corner already.”

“That’s true,” and this time his smile was a little brighter, “but that is largely due to our group. I think Essek has gotten some of the Mighty Nein treatment, but probably not enough.”

“So…so is he your pet project now, or something?”

“Ach, no, nothing so…no. It is more of a…the thing is, Beauregard, I do consider him a friend. And we got so caught up with the Angel in Irons cult and then the Assembly that, well…it is just, before all that happened, I did like spending time with him.”

“Me too,” she waved a hand, “he had good wine, and when we got him in the hot-tub, he wasn’t that bad. Still don’t know if he’s worth all this. He’s a war criminal—yeah, I know what you and Jester think, but that’s what I think, and Veth agrees. Seriously, you never know, he could be too far gone, and I don’t want him near this school and project if it’ll put you in danger or risk anything.”

“We are no strangers to danger,” Caleb murmured. “And I…would like to think that with enough effort, nobody could be so far gone.”

Beau sighed. She leaned across the crate again, but this time it was to put an arm on Caleb’s shoulder.

“You’re really fucking stubborn, you know that?”

“Ja, so I have been told.”

“Essek has betrayed people before. His people, before.”

“Yes, but…” Caleb shrugged. “He also will probably be betraying his own nation to join this school.”

“Oh, good,” Beau grunted. “So at least he’s had some practice.”

—

By the time Essek had managed to re-arrange his thoughts into something even mildly resembling order, the letter in his hands was so thoroughly crumpled that all its corners were bent.

He attempted to smooth them back out. When this failed to be satisfactory, he put it back on the kitchen table.

A…teaching position at Caleb’s school. Well not Caleb’s school, but a new Empire Academy that Caleb would oversee. And they needed instructors, as well as mages to help build it, and he thought Essek would be a good fit…

Idly, he wondered if Caleb wanted a teleportation network, as many of the finest institutions had. He wondered if this was something he would have to organize.

Apparently, the Mighty Nein had defeated the Chained Oblivion in some obscure corner of the world, without most of civilization even noticing. But Essek remembered the readings that morning, remembered the clamor and panic in the Cathedral, remembered the theurgists in the Conservatory practically tearing themselves apart to understand what was happening. If their claims were true, and this wasn’t an elaborate prank on the Mighty Nein’s end, a large part of Essek vowed he would draw chalk circles for them forever, if they asked.

But a small part of Essek had the needling thought: why didn’t they tell me it was happening? I could have helped them.

He glanced back at the note.

Well, they were asking for help now, weren’t they? And if nothing else had changed, it was the simple fact that Essek would still do his best to help his friends.

There were just some minor complications to be dealt with.

Namely, what to tell the Bright Queen. And his—

He made a face.

—and his mother.

—

A few days later, Essek stood in front of his bathroom mirror.

It was a beautiful piece, made from polished volcanic glass and set into an ornately-twisted frame of dark metal. It was the perfect gift for someone who regularly floated around Rosohna being called the Shadowhand, but as far as mirrors actually went it left some details lacking.

Still, it served Essek well enough, and he’d never really gotten around to replacing it.

He stared into his dim reflection and slid a hand over his chin.

—

Elsewhere, another wizard stared too, but not into any reflective surface.

Veth’s eyes hadn’t refracted light like that for nearly two years, now. But Caleb could still feel the weight of her gaze boring into his skull as she searched for answers.

Eventually, she sat back.

“Alright. How?”

“Yes, I know it’s—was?”

“How?” she repeated, and steepled her fingers. “How are we gonna do it? He’ll need a disguise, right?”

There was a long pause as Caleb processed this. He managed, “You are…not mad?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m happy, but I trust you, Caleb. You have a reason?”

“Er…yes. I quite do.”

“So…alright, then.” There was a pause, then she added, “I am kind of annoyed you already sent the letter without asking, though.”

“Sorry.”

“I feel like I should ground you.”

“That, er…you can, if that makes you feel better.”

Veth genuinely seemed to consider this. Behind them, through the thin tent-walls of the office, they could hear a delighted child running circles around adults. They were, respectively, Luc Brenatto, having the time of his life shooting the Mighty Nein with wooden darts.

They were rounded off, of course. Yeza had seen to that with great care.

“No,” Veth sighed eventually. “No, that probably sets a bad example. I don’t think a professor can ground the Headmaster.”

“Head Professor, do not forget. I trust you the most out of everyone on this project. Not just because you are my friend, but you are qualified. And you really understand our mission.”

His tone of voice suggested that this was a conversation they had had many times. The way Veth’s face colored just slightly suggested she was still having trouble with the ‘qualified’ part.

Nevertheless, years of trained suspicion broke through the treacle-sweet flattery.

“But you didn’t trust me enough to tell me you were planning to ask Essek to come earlier,” she pointed out. “What did you think I was going to do?”

Caleb winced. “No, Veth, I…scheisse. That was…I was being impulsive that night. I…the idea occurred to me and I did not even hesitate to contact him. I…in retrospect, I should have.”

At least, to his relief, Veth nodded in response. “I get that,” she shrugged. “And like I said before, I am on board. You’re lucky I like you so much, Caleb. I don’t…care for Essek, but if this is what you want, I’ll…deal with having him around.”

“I am sorry again,” he said. “And, er…if it helps, you will also be his boss.”

Veth hadn’t been a goblin for years, but her eyes gleamed.

“Please be nice to him,” Caleb added.

“Nice?” Veth scoffed. “He’s not exactly nice.”

“He was nice to us—”

“Not Yeza.”

At the tortured grimace that passed across Caleb’s face, Veth sighed.

“Look, don’t worry, seriously. I was mostly kidding—I’m kidding! I just…you know that I have complicated feelings about Essek. In a…in a sort of way, I understand what he did. And I know where he’s coming from, I do. Lots of us are...well, we were pretty sketchy too. He really reminds me of the things we’ve done. But…he hasn’t shown nearly as much remorse as I’d like. And some of the things he’s done are—” She risked a glance up into Caleb’s impassive expression, “—I don’t like that he still doesn’t seem to care. But…he is a wizard, and I guess he’s our friend. So…if you can keep him from doing anything, I don’t know, very sketchy, then I’m on board. I trust you.”

Caleb’s expression went soft. He nodded.

“Thank you, Veth. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“And I do hope that…well, I hope we can stop him from ‘sketchy’ things. In fact, ah…a small part of me is hoping that eventually, he will want to stop doing sketchy things all by himself.”

“Really?” Veth sounded more than skeptical. “How?”

Caleb shrugged. “The same way you and I did, no?”

—

Now Essek stood before the iron wrought gates that led into the expansive manor grounds of his family home. He could see, high above and a bit back, the five towers that made up the domain of the Umavi of Den Thelyss, long empty after all her children had moved on.

And, Essek recalled with a grimace, after his father had most probably, definitely, died.

It was a lonely castle. A feeling he could commiserate with, even in his smaller manor.

He straightened his collar. He knocked twice.

—

“By getting rich as adventurers.”

“By getting friends.”

—

“It is a surprise to see you here,” said Umavi Deirta Thelyss, Denmother of Den Thelyss and also Essek’s actual mother. “You rarely visit outside formal events and holidays.”

She did not add that Essek had totally missed the last two get-togethers, and thus must have been in a charitable mood. The rare—albeit leftover—tea blend that Essek had brought might have tipped the scale.

“I know, Mother.”

“I worry about you, of course.”

“I know, Mother.”

“And I’m certainly proud of what you’ve accomplished thus far.” At this, she took a sip of the Blooming Grove’s best. “I trust you are finding ways to keep yourself busy even during these times of peace?”

“Of course, Mother. Er…actually, it is partially that subject which I wish to address with you.”

His mother lowered her cup.

“Ah. So this is not purely a social call.”

“Er…no.”

She dabbed at the corner of her mouth, but Essek could have sworn she’d just smiled. Or, he backpedaled, at least tactfully smirked.

“Is this about access to the Beacons again, dear? As I always say, I can try to put in a word, but we have never been the den as involved in religious matters.” She paused, and tilted her head at him. “Is this about Consecution?”

“Er…no.”

“Oh. Well, then? Speak your mind.”

Under the table, Essek twisted at the hem of his sleeve.

“I, ah…well, that is…I’ve received a letter, Mother. An offer of…professorship. From…an Academy.”

This seemed to genuinely surprise the Umavi.

“Professorship? But…why?”

“Someone out there believes in my arcane prowess, apparently.” With the first sentence out of the way, Essek managed to sip his tea. Only a true observer would have noticed it falter slightly in its trajectory.

“Well,” said his Mother, trying to meet his gaze, “what a strange request to make of one already so gainfully employed. As the Bright Queen’s master of…let us call them the more obscure matters of state.”

When Essek did not match her eyes, she continued, “What sort of Academy is this, dear? Surely none in the Marble Tomes would write you in this way, and I find difficulty imagining you taking up permanent residence in Asarius. Which must mean…”

Essek sighed. His mother certainly was a true observer.

“Yes, Mother. It is outside the Dynasty.”

“Worse than that, I am sure.”

“Er…”

There was a sweeping of long robes as his mother leaned. She wasn’t wearing her headdress, but could loom without height, her sheer imposing presence doing the work just fine.

“Essek?”

He sighed again.

“Inside the Empire, Mother.” And because they had gotten this far, and he didn’t have much else to lose, he added, “Run by Widogast. Caleb Widogast, if you remember him, as well as a number of his friends, I gather. It is the…replacement institution currently being built to fill the void—”

“That the Assembly left, yes, I assumed.” She settled back, and a shifting of fabric indicated that she had crossed her arms. “And our dearly departed hero Widogast wants you to teach there?”

“And to assist him in establishing some of its curriculum and facilities, yes.” He tactfully ignored the ‘dearly departed’ bit.

“That would certainly be an odd career move for you, Essek. And surely, foreigner or no, he has spent enough time in our country to be aware of the implications of what he is asking.”

“Surely, Mother.”

“And as we all know, he has had training in Dunamancy these last years. I do hope his teacher had impressed upon him how vitally important it is to keep such training and knowledge a secret.”

For the first time since reading the letter, Essek paused.

In all his…well, excitement was not a word ever ascribed to the Shadowhand, but certainly in his anticipation to consider his offer, it had never actually crossed his mind that he might be asked to teach Dunamancy.

A small but very significant part of him riled.

Across the table, his mother drank some more tea. She was watching her son, who to his credit, had mastered the art of freezing his micro-expressions so swiftly that they could not be read. But without his mantle on, sitting in his mother’s tearoom, his hands were fidgeting up a storm across the table.

He probably hadn’t even noticed. She took another sip.

In a matter of seconds, Essek was back. He shook his head, and reached for a dry cookie.

“I think he is aware of the gravity of the situation. And I trust him to have already, ah…weighed the pros and cons.”

“And have you?” asked Deirta Thelyss, knowing the answer.

Essek bit down.

“I believe I have.”

—

“So…that’s it? We just wait for an answer, now?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think he’ll say yes?”

“Well, I certainly hope so.”

“How’s he supposed to tell you?” This one was Jester, leaning across a stack of milk crates. “He doesn’t have Sending, I’m pretty sure.”

There was a pause in the air as the Mighty Nein watched Caleb consider, and realize this.

“Oh,” he said eventually. “I, er…I had assumed he did.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Beau said. “How did you think he was going to answer back? You didn’t think Xhorhas had a postal service to Felderwin, did you?”

“I, ah, admit that—”

“Maybe you should check our mailbox in Rosohna,” said Fjord kindly. “He probably just sent it to the Xhorhouse, or something.”

Caleb faltered, and scratched the back of his head. “…scheisse. You don’t think he has been waiting all this time to answer already, has he? I had not even considered—”

“I would not worry about that.”

All of them turned as a voice outside the door drifted in through the thin walls of the tent.

Then the voice added:

“How do I…oh, there is a latch—”

But he did not manage to finish the assessment before Jester ran over, threw the flap open, and tackled Essek bodily in a hug.

—

“In that case, there is only one last thing to say.” The Umavi of Den Thelyss sat back in her seat. A thin trail of steam curled up from her cup.

“I forbid you from going.”

“Thank—you what?”

She steepled her fingers. “I say ‘no,’ Essek. I will not let you chase this Empire wizard across the continent to teach at his school.”

“I…but…that is not…Mother, why?”

The swiftness of his outburst answered the question for both of them.

She studied his gaze.

“Essek, you have a purpose here. You have a bright future, and a reputation, and glowing prospects and I will not let you squander that to go off spilling our nation’s secrets.”

Essek managed to bite his tongue just in time. His mother would not have liked his instinctual answer.

Instead, he choked out the words, “I’ll quit, then. I’ll defect. I want to do this. More than I have ever wanted anything else in my life.”

Later, he would wonder why he said that. Even later, later, he would wonder if that were true.

The oldest and nearly-youngest souls of Den Thelyss stared at each other across the tea table. Their drinks cooled, and somewhere high above, the sun began to rise over the city of Rosohna.

But down here, beneath the blanket of perpetual stars, the only light was from the low, flickering lamps along the wall.

“I would do anything,” one said.

“…is that so?” said the other.

—

He was released after the impact knocked his parasol aside and his skin very quickly, visibly, began to redden. They immediately ushered him into the tent, shouting and laughing and clapping him on the back all the way, though he noticed that despite the friendly reception from Jester, Caduceus, Fjord, and even Yasha, Veth seemed somewhat frozen in her smile, and Beau even less warm.

That was…probably to be expected, actually. He wondered if this might present an issue and was about to open his mouth, say something, until he noticed a figure striding across the tent floor, side-stepping a stack of crates, and taking him by the hand.

Essek met his eyes. It had been some time, since he saw those eyes. Then he blinked.

“By the light, Caleb, you have grown a beard.”

There was a pause, and then Caleb laughed, and that was new too. Essek always forgot how quickly humans could change.

“I had meant to shave it before you arrived,” Caleb admitted. “It is, ah, a product of sleepless nights overseeing the construction of a new school.”

“It’s terrible,” Jester said. “It makes you look old.”

“I can fix this now if needed,” said a voice, followed by the sound of an unsheathing sword.

“Er…maybe…later, bitte?”

And Essek couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “I nearly forgot how boisterous all of you are, all the time. I have…” He turned, faced the Mighty Nein. “My life has not been nearly as interesting without you in it.”

“Well then, welcome back,” Caduceus gave a smile.

And even Veth, despite their…history, stepped forward.

“I said it once before, didn’t I? Welcome to the Mighty Nein, Essek.”

She even stuck out a hand for him to shake.

—

“I want you to report back everything to me. And when the time comes, when your Headmaster is summoned to the castle, I want you to go with him.”

“But…Mother, why?”

Her voice was nothing but gentle as she addressed her son.

“It is well-known that King Bertrand Dwendal has no heirs. And rules over quite a…combative court, with an iron fist.”

She leaned in even closer.

“What would happen to the Empire, do you think, if he was removed from that picture?”

—

And somewhere else, on what felt like the opposite side of the world, Caleb put an arm around Essek’s shoulder, and grinned.

“It is good to see you again, my friend.”

Essek’s lip twitched into what could approximately be called a smile.

“Good to see you as well,” he said.