#just thought itd be fun to play around with his mask

[yi3248]

idea 1: lifting his mask like a bride's veil

(he is less than amused, 1 step closer to wrangle oc)

idea 2: peekaboo

[tanoraqui]

Oh, Old Kingdom Feanorians is very fun I love it! Thoughts that occurred to me 1) lore of Melkor can be split between Oranis and Mogget; Oranis for destruction and deaths, Mogget for lies; in fact, I can see Mogget feanor relationship being something like in book Clariel; Mogget using him but two of them growing fond of each other, if only due to similar desire for freedom 2) Astarael already is Nienna in a way, no? Itd be fun too see yfeanor or Maglor down the well

That's exactly what I was thinking, re: Morgoth, Orannis and Mogget! Mogget saw the division in the Abhorsen's family, notably Fëanor's jealousy, paranoia and pride (and fear of abandonment and loss), as well as his genuinely non-malicious curiosity and love of exploration, and egged him on in his feud with Fingolfin and his experiments with not just the Charter but Free Magic as well. He egged on FIngolfin as well, though less so - it was always harder to act directly against even the Abhorsen-in-Waiting, and anyway, he barely needed to. Fëanor provoked Fingolfin enough all on his own.

I don't know how exactly Orannis starts to wake - I don't think Fëanor unburies him, though maybe he unburies him a little, gets hideously bad vibes, and stops...and it's too late; he's broken some preliminary seal that he fails to properly repair? Or maybe he's just revealed the location to Sauron, who will overall be playing the part of Chlorr of the Mask in this au... At any rate, Orannis wakes some notable amount, but as he does Finwë brings battle to him, which kills Finwë but buys the whole Kingdom many decades, maybe centuries, as Orannis slowly regains his full power.

(I still like the idea that those of the Shiners' blood live longer than normal people in this au, like, Númenoreans long - several centuries on average. Unless killed, of course, as many of them are.)

Mogget was likely with Finwë, briefly uncollared. Finwë orders him to deliver bells and sword to Fingolfin, who is at the extremely awkward festival the royal family (Vanyar) are throwing in an attempt to get him and Fëanor to reconcile...

(Hm, did some Great Charter Stones get broken in Orannis's emergence, a la the death of the Trees? They're reparable, though... I'd need to think about this au more to figure out exactly how bloodlines and frankly geography and range of rule, work. The Old Kingdom doesn't really have anywhere to exile people to, but that's such an important part of The Silmarillion...)

From Mogget's pov, what comes next is roughtly:

Fuck yeah, dead Abhorsen, and his kids more likely than not to go to war over his title, even though it's patently obvious who should have it! Lol! (Okay, Orannis is an unwelcome surprise buuut he's delayed, so, like, I can still work with this.) Time to drop of some objects then get righteously vengefully slaughtering...

Ugh, new Abhorsen is quick with a collar. And the boys are...getting along, in the wake of Finwë's death. That is, Fëanor is too distracted by vengeance to make trouble about not being Abhorsen, and Fingolfin is too distracted by vengeance to make trouble about Fëanor blatantly using Free Magic. Well, at least they're going to stop Orannis before he causes--

Aaand Fëanor in his paranoia and fury took all the ships to sail [south to Edge? north of above the Glacier?] to attack Orannis, then blindly charged ahead and got himself torn to pieces by Greater Dead- oh, no, actually he self-immolated at the very end. Yeah that tracks. I may have encouraged that path of thought. Okay. Damn, and Maedhros captured? RIP, except of course he won't. I kinda liked that kid, too.

Fingon did wh-- fucking Seven, that's a construct of Astarael they're flying back on.

Alright, business as usual, Abhorsen alternately bossy and ignoring me while his kid runs around fighting Free Magic dragons and flirting with Wallmaker scions (who rae definitely still using Free Magic over there; maybe I'll just take a nap in these saddlebags and someone will accidentally bring me to visit...) Only difference is it's a semi-active war front because no one can figure out how to re-bind Orannis so all they can really do it wait--

Ugh, I HATE fire. The soot gets EVERYWHERE and I have to lick it out. This is undignified.

Good showing on Abhorsen Fingolfin's part. Stupid, but good. Death-seeking despair is in their blood, there's really not much you can do about it. Serious issue that Orannis kept the bells, though - Fingon's always been better with the sword, but that won't be nearly eno--

The remnant of Ranna had a DAUGHTER with a HUMAN? What the fuck?

This plan is doomed but as usual the Abhorsen won't listen to me. /shrug emoji

Yyyep he's dead. Ooh, no new Abhorsen anywhere nearby, and he's just a baby anyway... Look, one of Turgon's last people is even picking up the sword; I'm sure it'll get to the new kid somehow... Clearly the most appropriate and helpful thing for me to do is to find the nearest heirs of the blood and help them stand against Orannis. Hey, Fëanorioni, long time no see! You know, I'd be able to help much more if you just take off this pesky little collar...

(Fëanorians spend the next several decades letting Mogget lose to kill things and people then wrestling a collar back onto him, which gets increasingly difficult as there are fewer of them to do it. Moggets stays with them because a) killing is fun, b) eventually they're fail to re-restrain him and he'll be more or less free, and c) he kinda likes them shut up. They're so fucked up and still trying so hard; it's...intriguing.)

(Mogget refuses to identify whether Elros or Elrond is the true Abhorsen-in-Waiting literally until they figure it out themselves (it's Elros. Elrond, once Orannis has been re-bound with the help of assorted relatives, takes up the mantle of being Ranna-than-remains, and builds himself a welcoming manor near the woods that were once Doriath.))

[bansheeoftheforest]

Y'all better stop updating the syndicate au while in gone, my wifi is out because the cable frickin melted and it wont he repaired until hopefully Friday, so until then 🔫 /lh

-

1: The Society being more than tall enough to do leaps of faith off of

2: Listening to Jacob ride carriages, I have decided he loves horses. He and Jekyll are horse boyfriends and after the events of the game + tgs they run away and start a horse farm together <3

3: Having not yet heard anything contradictory. Jacob gives animals names like "Sweetroll" or "Birdy"

4: I HAVE MET THE ROTH, he is wonderful and I love he. Blighter Jekyll would 100% be in the plays when he had the free time because hey! They cant tell him he's avoiding doing work for the gang when Maxwell Roth is Right There and encouraging it. (To clarify, normal theater shows and plays, not like the one he made for Jacob :p)

OOOOOOOOH WHAT IF. They meet while at and escaping the last show. I have no clue how itd go about but it seems very fun and I love the thought of them wearing masquerade clothes n masks,

also, Jacob 🤝 Jekyll, being very likely to have a fear of fire after their respective series' fires

4.5, (just any blighter Jekyll): ALSO we dont have to worry about the blighters caring when Jekyll leaves because they tend to change sides rather easily when the twins conquer their section. So I doubt many Blighters are loyal, and I doubt Jekyll is in a high enough position in the gang to be worth caring about. The only reason he stays in is because of his brothers. Hey do you think the gang would keep the Jekyll brothers' death a secret from him? So he doesn't leave? ALSO ALSO, I saw some asks and I really dont think Jekyll would ever be a templar, the templars are loyal to their cause, and they know full well Jekyll doesn't want to be there, his brothers may be templars but it's far more reasonable hed be a blighter, the templars would never put someone who hated them in their midst. (He would look good in a templar outfit though)

5: Ghost + Syndicate crossover au because by golly I hit /alot/ of people with carriages in this game /j

---

Game update: The more I play this game the more I want to call Jacob a himbo

The /governor of the bank/ is named twopenny

I have "beat" the game, aka killed Crawford and unlocked the queen Victoria quests

I have so far unlocked 32 throwing knife capacity for Evie because gosh I adore throwing knives

You cannot stop us Darlene 🔫 (Either way, you just have to wait another day! Hopefully it will be back soon!! <3)

--

1. Imagine Jacob teaching Henry to do leap of faiths on the roof, a Lodger walks up and just manages to see the tail end of what they think is someone trying to encourage Henry to take suicide. They watch as both of them fall and the Lodger scream and runs to the edge... Only to hear laughter and see Henry and that guy poking out a haybale. That would be fun and also a very easy way to get a heart attack <3

--

2. Ehehehehe yes!! That's why I love Jacob so much bc Evie just... Insults the horses, or isn't as sweet to them so Jacob my beloved. Jacob and Henry retiring and starting a horse farm together and they get to be happy and take picnics in the forest on horseback and the events of the Jack The Ripper DLC never happens <3 3. He definitely would name all animals he owns smt really sweet. He probably would silently nickname any and all of the animals in the Society and refuse to call them by their names once he actually learns them <3<3

--

4. Jekyll and Roth being pals until Jekyll realizes how fucked up Roth is, deliberately deciding to take a few steps back but still using Roth as an excuse to get out of Blighter work and also be the star of plays. Roth would gush on about how his eyes are set on Jacob and Henry would first think he was planning to kill him but then he realizes that Roth is just very gay for the enemy.

OOH I HAVE BEEN DAYDREAMING ABOUT THAT SO HARD. Ok mainly it was them already knowing each other but Henry is too busy saving the others so he gets caught and trapped inside the building. Jacob sees him almost passing out from all the smoke and saves him. But I can also imagine Jacob trying to escape and seeing Henry getting caught by burning ceiling beams after having helped everyone else escape so Jacob carries him and ziplines over the debris and until they get to the door... Henry realizing that this is the Jacob Maxwell was working with (or if they met before when Jacob was in the theater, he realizes why Maxwell fell for him) Mmm... Traumatic meet cute <3 I think Jacob has a canonical fear of fire after that, but either way, gimme the two of them both having nightmares about fire and spending late nights cuddled up in blankets comforting each other <3

--

4.5 I honestly would not put it past them to try to hide it from him but if it was he who killed them, they wouldn't be able to keep it a secret very well... That would certainly be fun to imagine <3

True but blighters are more... The actual gang, ya know? Like they are the fighters and street ruffians and stuff and Henry certainly would not be the same kind of fighting guy like Blighters and Rooks, so I'm mostly just saying Templar because it would fit his role and position better, even if he doesn't want to be. Being a templar also seems to be a bit of an inherited role as well, smt that gets passed down from family and stuff (like, say, if you take a look at the Kenway family and if I remember correctly from them) so it probably would not be impossible that Henry would be forced into being a templar. Maybe not a real templar like his brothers but certainly somewhere between Blighter and Templar. I don't know, I just say templar bc I can imagine Henry in that role better, y'know? XD Or maybe he and Roth would share the title as the leader of the Blighters... Oooohh... That would be fun <3

--

5. I used to deliberately run over street lights and stuff when streaming the game to my friend and she thought I was really weird. To be fair it's fun to run things and people over and I wanted the achievement <3

---

Jacob is a Himbo. He really is. Don't worry about it. Himbo Jacob my beloved <3 (wait if Morcant is a Herbo (not bimbo) does that mean Henry has a type--)

Y'know how much I laughed when I realized that? That was fun XD

I still need to get around to the Victoria quests bc so far I have only finished Darwin's, Dickens', and Duleep Singh's memories so! We are both blind with this <3.

---

Mmm... Au route potential. Perhaps someone who wanted to join the Society but got rejected bc he was actually evil? Maybe Henry has his role until the Twins recruit him?

??? Where??? I think you can actually open most locked doors or find a way inside somehow!! What quest was it?? I have only one golden chest i couldn't unlock bc I skipped most of them and took them later and that's the one in the WW1 memories so I think you can get it somehow?

[violetnotez]

Rookie- Dabi x Fem!Reader

By popular demand, here is my 1st Dabi fic! I kind of wish I put more dialogue for him, so if you guys want a part 2 to this, Ill  definitely give him some more attention! 

Dabi x reader

Genre: Fluff + Dabi being a man-wh*re

Word Count: 1500+

Warnings: Cursing + LOV being the LOV

Summary: Dabi is having the most boring day of his life, with nothing to do and no missions to be on- until you show up.

|1|    |2|    |3|

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

Dabi was sprawled along the couch in the bar, his long slender legs bent out lazily. He stared at his hand as he played with a spark of blue flames that sprouted out from his scarred fingers, Shigaraki  pouring over a new plan at the bar, while Black Mist made him a drink.

Most of the time, Dabi preferred to be by himself. He saw social interaction as draining, a nuisance really- hell, he could practically count all his “friends” he had in life on one hand. But on days like this, when plans were at a stall and no interesting work was needed, Dabi would begin to wish that it would be nice to have something to do, even (in times of extreme boredom) somebody to do it with. 

Right then, as Dabi was struggling to get over this fit of boredom, Toga skipped into the bar, that love-sick-school-girl smile plastered on her lips. She giggled, shying over to Shigaraki, his slumped form not enjoying the excitement radiating  off the chaotic girl.

“Me and Twice found a new friend!” she yelled enthusiastically, catching everyone’s attention. Toga’s perception of people was a little-strange- and her idea of a “friend”, most of the time, meant “enemy” in their minds.

Black Mist stopped drying the glass he was attending to behind the counter, and Shigaraki immediately swiveled his head around abruptly to look at the door. Dabi stayed on the couch, only having the energy to extinguish his blue flames and turn his head slightly to see the new entertainment.

Twice ushered in his capture, their arms tied in front of them as he shoved them into the room. Their body was completely clad in black, the clothes baggy against their frame. A hood draped down upon their face, obscuring their eyes, as a black mask adorned with silver accents covered their face from nose down. Their frame was small in stature, most likely a teen. 

“Found this little tyke trying to break in when I was on patrol with Little Miss Crazy Knives,” Twice introduced, his hand squeezing their shoulder dangerously. “Said they had intel for you Shigaraki.”

Shigaraki crouched off his chair, his body swaying.

“You idiot!” he snarled at Twice, “You dont even know who this is- they could be working with the heroes for all we know...And you lead them right into our place of work!”

“I assure you Tomura Shigaraki, I am no hero.”

Everyone turned to look at the intruder. The masked figure’s voice startled the group- its voice was anything but smooth: it was snarled, deep, and artificial- sounding- there was definitely a voice changer inside the mask.

“See Shigaraki, they’re not with the heroes!” Can we keep them? Please?” she pleaded giddily, her body bouncing up and down.

“They could still be our enemies, even if they say their not connected to any hero group,” Blackmist reasoned, the whole League ataring at your unstruggling form.

Dabi tilted his head up, examining them-they weren’t trying to escape, or even trying to pull away from Twice’s harsh hold. You definitely were crazy, whoever the hell you were, showing up here. Shigaraki was not afraid to kill- hell, none of them  were.

“Awww, what a bummer that would be-” Toga whined, “Can I kill them if they are?”

“No one will be killing anyone,” Tomura replied dangerously, “until I say so.”

He strided over to the intruder, his body lagging and stumbling as he went. 

“What is your motive for being here-no one just stumbles on the League of Villians for nothing.”

The masked figure looked down, obscuring their eyes.

“I only wish to give you something- if I get something else in return.”

“In return?” Shigaraki repeated back in a taunt, “what exactly do you want, and what do you have for me that’s so damn valuable that I’ll owe you something?”

The figure looked up, their eyes barely visible from under the hood.

“No, Tomura Shigaraki,” they replied slowly, their voice deep and artificial, “I want nothing materialistic- I need to a job. An occupation. With your League of Villians. I need this promise- and then I’ll give you what I have.”

Shigarki sighed exasperated, shaking his shaggy hair. “Why the hell- do I owe you a promise? And how do you even know my name?”

The figure shrugged its shoulders. “I just know it- when you need a job, the interview goes alot smoother when you know something about the place.”

“This is no interview, you little wierdo,” Sigaraki spat back, “Im just about to let Toga have some fun with you if you dont stop annoying me and wasting my time.”

Toga squealed happily, her fangs glinting devilishly in the eery lights of the bar.

“I want to know your name and who you are-now,” he commanded, watching this intruder’s every movements with careful attention.

Dabi grinned slightly, amused at the situation. 

The figure looked up, their eyes now visible, a twinge of fear in those fierce e/c orbs

“I really don’t use much of a name,” they stated coldly, making Shigaraki visibly furious.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to call you? A pain In my ass?” He spat at you, his hand twitching slightly.

Dabi saw this, and decided to get up, his hands stuffed into his pant pockets. He leaned back casually as he walked, your eyes watching him carefully.

“Cool it Shigaraki, if they dont want to use their name- they dont need to,” he reasoned, already finding himself liking you- you weren’t taking crap from him and standing your ground. Even if you turned out to be an enemy, he could at least admire that.

“You have a another name you go by? Anything people call you?” he asked, peering down at you with an amused smirk

“Demon,” the mask gargled out, “I go by Demon.”

“It has a nice ring to it,” Black Mist commented as Toga cooed about how “adorable” it sounded.

Dabi ignored the others, continuing to stare down at the trespasser . 

“Why dont you take off the mask, Demon?” he reasoned with you slowly. “Itd make it alot easier for us to trust ya if you lost that crap around your mouth.”

The person squirmed slightly, just enough for it to be noticebale.

“No, I cant,” they replied, “my quirk-”

“Take the damn thing off them.”

Shigaraki commanded coldly to Twice, who did exactly as told, yet couldnt: the person instantly attacked, the rope around their wrists miraculously breaking apart as they twisted Twice’s wrist. He arm tugged back in such a painful way that he couldn't even breathe out a protest. His body followed the momentum of his arm, slamming him on the ground.

The whole of the League reacted instantly- Toga pulled out her knives, both Dabi and Black Mist prepared their quirks, while only Shigaraki looked unfazed, his demeanor now dangerously amused.

“Now, look what we have hear-” Shigarki snarled, his head flopping down to his shoulder and exposing the blood red eye behind the decaying hand,  another punny little child wanting to be a villain.”

The intruder had yanked off the mask and hood themselves when the League had taken on their battle stances, their-her- hand held out in a stopping motion- most likely as a warning that they’d use their quirk.

He stared at your wrist, noticing something strange- your wrist turned red. It was bright like a cherry, and he was intrigued by the sudden change. But just as fast as it came, it slowly disappeared, leaving no trace that it was ever there.

Dabi felt his body slacken slightly- this intruder was....attractive. He could even say hot if the circumstances were slightly different. Their hair framed around their face so prettily, their eyes were dangerous and cold yet so inviting, and lips that looked so soft he had the unnerving want to know what they felt like, tasted like...You were utterly perfect, looking so dangerously inviting under the hazy lights of the bar. 

“Dont try it-I dont want to hurt you. Any of you.” you stated, your now clear voice sounding so sweet and melodic, even though it’s tone was cold.

Toga squealed unpredictability, making everyone look at her.

“What?” she asked, as if she couldnt understand why everyone was so serious. “They’re a girl! There’s no girls on the team but me! We’re going to be such good friends bestie!!!”

Shigaraki groaned. 

“Toga, calm down- your voice is pissing me off.”

Shigaraki strided over to you, his walk slow and limped as Toga threw Shigaraki a dirty look from behind.

“So what is your deal Demon- what intel do you have for me.”

You picked up your chin, Dabi watching each movement of yours with hungry eyes. 

You were a sight for sore eyes. There were no scars on you, nothing about you that screamed “villian” except for that damn mask that hid your beauty. He saw you as so utterly pure to this world, even if you actually might have had some runs with the law. You were something so intoxicating to him, he couldnt stand it. Your expression was closed off...but he could see you were alittle worried around them.

“So innocent,” he thought hungrily as he stared at those burning eyes of yours, his tongue running along his teeth.

 He wanted to corrupt you so badly, it hurt. 

He unapologetically  imagined you had worn something a little tighter than those baggy ass clothes- a skin tight suit maybe, he thought lustfully, so he could see those lush curves-

“I have intel on Izuku Midoriya.”

The whole party perked up, even Twice, who was clutching his wrist gently, his eyes giving you a look of annoyance.

“The boy you so desperately despise?” you continued,  “I know where he’ll be in the next few days- hell, I know where he is right now if you were that desperate.”

“How?” Shigaraki was now interested- he had been working on getting the little brat for days, even weeks, now- how did you, some random kid who showed up out of nowhere- know about Izuku? About his need to get the twerp and destroy him??

You shrugged, as if your answer would be obvious.

“Im a student at UA High.”

---------------------------

If you guys want a part 2, pls comment or request! I’d love to do another part, or write for Dabi again soon! (pls send me ideas im bored :)

Requests open!

[seongwhy]

first of all thanks for your tumblr

i have a request please !! ateez with their love interest making the first move. It could be so sweet or hot... idk can't wait to read

THANK YOU ♥

@panda-tchi thank you!!! I'm so sorry it took long, i made a post about my absence, but I didnt knwo if you meant you wanted ateez making the first move or their love interest... so Im gonna do both !!! they'll be in parts so heres the first part

ateez making the first move on their love interest

hongjoong

ok so in my head hongjoong is like,, rlly shy and cute and b aby!!!!

and so he wouldn't do anything unless he was absolutely sure abt it

he would be flustered walking you to your door and flustered when he grabbed your hand

but youd look at him and smile and hed know everything's going good

but with his cheeks red and his teeth showing hed move the hand that isnt holding yours to move your hair behind you ear

and hed step closer to yours

istg itd be like a cheesy ass drama

hed lean in to you and close his eyes rlly tight and his lips puckered and youd be like :')) what a cutie

but then youd lean into him and itd be a perfect harmony of sweetness and kisses

and hed pull away after kissing you with his face beet red and be like '...that was awesome' and youd laugh and hed go redder

I literally ugh I want this

hed say goodnight but wont let go of your hand :((( youd have to tell him

hed walk away giggling to himself and once he got home hed be so happy omg hed text you right away

'tonight was so fun.. see you again soon?'

seonghwa

seonghwa,,,, baby

yall would be driving home from the date

and hed be driving and hed slip his right hand on your thigh !!! like the slick God he is !!!!

and youd be like.... oh shit

and when you look at him hed be smirking but still looking at the road bc hes a ~responsible driver~

but in his head hed be like 'is this ok???? what am.i doing AA'

then when he reached your place hed stop you from getting out so he could open the door for you gentleman style

hed give you his hand to get out, and then bring it around his waist

o m gee hed wrap his arm around your waist too

then at your door he would even say anything hed just grab you face and kiss you

and youd be ●-● for three seconds before smiling and leaning into it

and you can feel him smile too

then when you guys pull away bc of lack of breath he kisses your nose and your cheek and your hand

and tells you it was a pleasure and you'll see him tomorrow at lunch or smth

and he pecks you again and gives you the cutest smile and walks away giving you a few more looks as he goes

but

you yell at him to stop

and you invite him inside

what is he gonna do ?? say no ?

yunho

ok so I see you and yunho being rlly good friends

and you're at his place/the dorm and you're making ramen together

and all the boys are playing video games or in their rooms or smth so it's just you two in the kitchen cooking it up yknow what I mean

and you're laughing at sum dumb thing he said

and then he just looks at you

and watches you with your pretty smile and your pretty face and your pretty hair and you look so pretty

and he just cant help but move closer to you

and then you stop laughing and look at him like ???

and he just grabs your waist and pulls you in

then he takes a deep breathe and does what hes been wanting to do for a while now

and kisses you

he kisses you like his life depended on it this guy cant hold back

you're so into it you both cant hear or think or breathe anything but each other

but then you hear a 'yah!!!!' and you step away from yunho to see an angry but cheeky seonghwa looking at you two and the overflowing boiling water on the stove

and you and yunho jump and go read and move to clean and both mumble an 'I'm sorry' to seonghwa

he walks away chuckling

and you two look at each other wide eyes and red faces and laugh

ah,,, such kids man

yeosang

you and yeosang are going on a lil brunch picnic date

so u had to wake up early (a lil too early for you but dont tell him dat) to make sure your morning hair was tamed and your eyebags were covered

though yeosang wouldnt have cared what you looked like tbh

but when you answered your doorbell in the prettiest outfit hes ever seen, be wasnt complaining

he maybe took too long staring at you bc you had to clear your throat to get him to stop

he looked up at you, trying his best not to look flustered and he clears his throat too, sticking his hand out for you to hold on to

you smile at him and take his hand and step down your front steps

as hes waiting for you to step down the last one, he grabs onto your other hand and pulls (take a shot everytime i use that word in this post) you into him

he kisses you lightly

then whispers 'you look really pretty'

winks at you

and starts walking

you're standing at the end of your steps and gape at him

he looks back at you

'aren't you coming?'

san

ok dis precious lil baby boi

hes nervous and hes masking it w confidence and jokes

but you can read right through them

but you're not gonna tell him that

hes walking you to the park where you'll sit and play with the doggos that walk by and he has some sandwiches in his bag (your favourite)

and you're talking and he asks you you're favourite color to which you answer and he stops

and you stop, confused

so you grab his arm and ask 'are u ok?'

and he looks at you and grabs your shoulders and says 'that's my favourite too'

and you're like ,,, ok cool wow let's keep going i wanna see he dogs

but he just looks at you and says nothing

and so u turn and walk with your arm in your hand to pull him along

but he just grabs it and pulls you into him

and kisses you !!!!! and you kiss back !!!

and then you part from him

and say 'all because you like purple too?'

and he laughs and smiles and hooks his arm into yours and starts walking again with a lil more pep in his step (if that's even possible)

mingi

mango!!! my babie

mingi takes u on a lil arcade date

he tries his best to let you win every game you play

until it gets to one of those racecar games where he just loses himself in and therefore cannot lose to anyone

and when he wins he cheers and claps

until he looks over and sees you pouting that you not only lost to him, but got last place as well

he immediately stops cheering and pouts too

he starts making hand hearts and he grabs your hands and plays with them claps them together and boops your nose

he does everything until he sees you smile

and once you smile he does too

and he kisses your forehead and then your cheek and then he leans towards your lips, still smiling

and he kisses you

it's short but cute !! and lovely and keeps you wanting more

but he opens the curtain of the game thing and walks over to your side and grabs your hand

'c'mon, you can beat me in the next one'

wooyoung

wooyoungie !!! takes you to an amusement park!!!!

yall have gone on all the rides, have tried every fair food you could and now the sun is starting to set (I think yall know where this is going)

theres only one thing you two havent done yet

and that's the ferris wheel !!!!

you two are sitting up there and you're gaping at the view in front of you

but though you thought the view was pretty ... he thought you were prettier sorry

and hes staring at you wishing youd just turn to face him so he kiss your pretty mouth

and then you do

so then he does

and you gasp!!! but melt into him

you put your hands in his hair

and he puts his on your face

and yall are kissing until you have to get off or pay for another ride

and he pays for another ride

but then you eventually get off and you eventually get home

and once hes home he doesnt hesitate to text you

and then hes hyungsik in that scene from strong girl bong-soon

and yeosangs telling him to stfu and go to bed

jongho

plz this lil man can barely keep it together when he sees you

and he finally gets you alone?? what does he do with himself

apparently nothing. bc hes just sitting there

his hyungs know he likes you and you being wooyoungs bestie, you're chilling in the dorm

and the hyungs leave bc '... I have to .. nap' 'right!! and i have to ... go to the store !! we have no more ramen and you know the kids,, they need their ramen' and 'oh gosh, would you look at the time!! I've gotta take a shower!!'

and one by one it's just the two of you on the couch

and he freezes

I mean, you're just slouched down on your phone

but you look so... so pretty

and lovely

and like he could just kiss you

and now hes staring.

and now you've realized

and hes blushing and his throat is dry

'I.. uh . sorry do u want some water? I'm gonna go get some water'

without waiting for an answer he kinda just walks away mumbling 'so dumb. so dumb! damn u hyungs'

when he gets to the kitchen he pours himself some water and take a sip

be turns around and you're there !! oh no

jongho decides he doesnt give a f u ck. yolo. hes no pussy boi

and he just steps in and he pulls u in

and he kisses you

and he thanks God you kiss back

and now hes blushing. again

you kiss his neck to tease him and he turns redder

you back up and laugh

'I was wondering when you were gonna do that'

hes so happy he almost cries

thanks wooyoung!!!!

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

First Sight: A Sole Ender Fic

Summary: Ryan tried hard to ensure he was never seen without a mask. And if that failed he always kept an extra eye patch on him. The recent stint with the FAHC had turned onto a permanent partnership and Ryan knew he would have to either tell the crew about his "condition" or they would find it themselves. Sadly it seemed that the latter would be the case as a stray bullet decided.

It was a simple job really. Go in, kill a man, steal some data for Gavin, then leave. They had planned and over planned to hell and back. It was an easy job.

But when was anything ever easy or going to plan with the FAHC? They lived and thrived on chaos and uncertainty. It was part of the reason Ryan even accepted the offer to join permanently.

As the Vagabond working alone, he made his own fun. But it always felt hollow, being alone felt hollow. Though it was all Ryan had known for a long long time. The experiments never left room for socializing not when it was only Ryan in a room with a bunch of Pricks.

Still it was nicer to hear others groan at bad puns or laugh at cheesy one liners while storming a bank or glaring down an enemy. It was, nice. Odd, and a learning process for sure but damn if it wasnt nice to have something like a family. Which was why he was extra careful.

Ryan knew that the experiments he survived left their mark. Black and purple veins or skin patches were easy enough to hide with make up. Avoiding water was disguised as a quirk, though for bathing Ryan made absolutely certain to run the shower while he wiped himself down with wet wipes. Not ideal but it got him clean enough. As for teleporting and staring well... he made sure if he did teleport no one saw, and the crew thought he was leaving his sparkles around to annoy Gavin. He was able to pass off his hatred and anger towards staring and eye contact as personal and the crew respected that.

But he could not hide the eye. His left eye had morphed into something else decades ago, right at the beginning of the experiments. His right eye was blue and looked perfectly normal. His left... it had no whites, just black ink and a large nearly matching purple pupil. It moved on it's own sometimes, something Ryan never fully figured out how to stop. And it watched everything. It showed the weakest points in objects, where Ryan could just pluck a cube from whatever it was. It showed veins and important artery locations in a potential victim. It was a culmination of everything the fucks back at the Program had wanted.

But Ryan hated it. Seeing the samn thing not only hurt, but infuriated him. Even decades later it made him feel weak and helpless. And worst of all, it was like a brand. Impossible to hide without heavy cloth or armor, its eerie black glow seeping through everything else. Ryan was only just starting to settle with the FAHC he was actually starting to enjoy himself. Like hell he was going to let something as stupid as an eye fuck that up!

But he knew, eventually he would have to tell the crew. It was either that or they would find out... It had been a simple fucking job and of course that would be where it all unraveled.

"Turn left! Left you Dolts!" Gavin's voice cracked over comms as Jeremy and Ryan sprinted through the corridors of the former safe house. A trail of bloody foot prints spread out behind them as they sprinted down and through the halls. The lights flashed red and an alarm blared loudly.

They hung a left, Jeremy skidding a little as he went.

"How the Fuck did we miss that camera? I thought the system was down!" Jeremy growled as the two rounded another corner. Ryan had pulled out a shotgun and held it close and ready as they raced for the exit.

"Bastards probably had a separate system. But that would mean they expected company." Ryan offered lowly so that the comms heard him but not those around him.

"Shit! Take cover!" Gavin shouted over comms as the battle Buddies finally reached the exit.

Jeremy dove down and Ryan jumped back into an open door as several shots fired past them. Jeremy crawled into the closet with Ryan, cocking a pistol.

"Fuck, how many Gav?" Jeremy asked.

Ryan popped his head out to return fire and popped back in as the sounds of bullet tearing flesh ripped through the blaring alarms as blood oozed out over the floor.

"I caught sight of 3 total. One is down so 2 left." Ryan supplied as Jeremy nodded and ducked out to shoot.

Ryan silently cursed, he could teleport, but he never teleported with someone, itd likely kill Jeremy if he did. But perhaps he could get behind the enemies...

There was a loud crash from the opposite end of the hall and a curse from Gavin.

"Hurry up! They have back up coming!" Well fuck. Ryan pulled a bewildered Jeremy into the Closet and shit off his comm.

"Stay here and please dont ask any questions." Ryan practically begged. Jeremy nodded quickly and gasped when, with a Vwoop! Ryan vanished leaving a small shower of sparkles.

Ryan appeared behind the first man, knife out and swinging. The blade dug into the back of his neck as a groan caught the other man's attention. As Ryan pulled the knife out he teleported again, letting the first fall limp and struck out at the other's neck as he pulled out of his teleport. A quickl slash and the throat was cut and the man fell.

Ryan only had time to barely catch his. Breath as sharp pain ripped through his left eye and the world went white for a moment. When the world partially swam into focus Jeremy had Ryan slung over his shoulder and was making a beeline out the exit. Tyan couldnt quite hear what he was saying and didnt get the chance to figure it out as he drifted into painful unconsciousness.

Jeremy had to say that he figured the Vagabond was weird. Tucker wore a mask for everything and the few times the media even got a glimpse of them without it they had a fucking eye patch and face paint! But then he joined the crew and it became apparent that the Vagabond was like the rest of the crew, weird, pissed, and chaotic as fuck. So sure, Jeremy expect quirks from Ryan.

Then the Motherfucker went and teleported in front of him! Jeremy still wasnt sure if that was what actually happened or if it was the adrenaline playing tricks on his eyes. Then a bullet struck Ryan in the eye and Jeremy didnt have time to think.

He ran out and grabbed his teleporting Battle Buddy and sprinted for the getaway vehicle. Jack was waiting outside and sped off the moment both boys were in the car.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Gav fo we have anything back at base for Bullets in eyes?" Jeremy asked desperately over comms. Gavin scrambled on the other side muttering this and that.

"Well get the fucking bullet out first before we get there we might actually be able to do something then!" Jack called from the front as they sped out onto the highway.

"Fuck! You're serving all over the place you think I'm going to be able to dig a bullet out like this?" Jeremy snapped.

"Just fucking try!" Jack shouted, as they swerved around an eighteen wheeler.

Jeremy cursed and began to remove Ryan's mask and then his eye patch

"Sorry buddy." Jeremy whispered as he lifted the patch and frozen. "Oh what the shit?!"

"What? If he is missing an eye dont gawk!" Jack scolded.

"He's not missing an eye but its janky as dicks! Its black and purple and shit." Jeremy shouted as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to dig a bullet out of his friend's ... uh... eye.

"Thay sounds unhealthy." Jack deadpanned as the car pulled into the headquater's garage. Once stopped jack came around to the back. "Alright move the fuck over you useless-Holy fuck you weren't kidding!"

"Yeah! No shit!"

"Whatever move! I'm getting that bullet out." Jack said, Shoving Jeremy out the otherside of the car. Jeremy yelped as he hit the concrete and popped back up, his eyes catching a patch of black skin peeking through smudged make up.

"Got it!" Jeremy tore his eyes back to Jack who was holding up a bullet covered in a thick black liquid with swirls of red dripping within.

"Great, now help me get this fuck inside." Geoff said jogging up to Jack from behind Jeremy. Jeremy was still frozen as the two Gents carried Ryan up to his room. Gavin and Michael approaches Jeremy.

"The fuck has you spooked?" Michael asked. "He's a tough fucker. Ryan'll be fine."

"Dude did you see his fucking blood? Its black! His eye is purple and moving on it's own! He fucking teleported!" Jeremy exclaimed. "Either that all just happened or I'm fucking high as balls. Neither outcome is good."

Gavin shrugged. "Well, do drugs we all see that."

Gavin pointed to the car where a small pool of black and red flecked blood glistened in the lights. The three lads stared at the pool in silence until michael spoke.

"Well son of a bitch."

Ryan came to in a bed. His own at the penthouse. He blinked a few times feeling the sting of a healing wound in his left eye as he did so. Having super human healing paid off more than it didnt.

Ryan sat up hand raising up to his face, expecting a mask or eye patch... only to meet fresh bandages.

Panic hit Ryan like a truck.

"Shit." Ryan cursed loudly as he went to stand only to flop over the side of the bed. "Fucking healing fatigue. Fucking legs, fuck!"

"Well good to see you're awake." Geoff's smooth drawl was cracked with stress and exhaustion.

The man was slouched against the door frame a cup of tea in hand. His hair was a mess and his eyes had bags that looked like they were dripping down his face

Ryan turned his face from Geoff's feet down to the floor on which his gave rested. A grumble was released into the floorboards then Ryan slowly picked himself back up onto the bed, his left eye still covered. Geoff shot him a knowing look as he stepped in and closed the door.

"Gavin and the lads are with Jack in the Kitchen looking for an update on you. Figured I'd be the first to talk to you." Ryan huffed as Geoff spoke with more authority than Ryan liked. It sounded too familiar.

Like a Scientist trying to get answers.

"Alright no need to growl asshole Jesus fuck." Geoff held up his hands in mock surrender and Ryan felt his shoulders relaxing a little.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Ryan hissed. "But I'm not some specimen to interogate."

"Well that answers that." Geoff said and Ryan tensed again. "Fuck right look I'm pretty sure a glowing black and purple eye ball ain't natural and yes we saw it you had a bullet in your eye and we didnt know it would heal on it's own. Dont care about that if you want it to stay covered it can stay covered. I'm more curious about Jeremy saying you fucking teleport."

"I can only teleport myself. Itd kill anyone else." Ryan said sheepishly as a sigh of relief escaped his lungs. "I can also take cubes of shit out of anything."

"People to?" Geoff asked, Ryan nodded. "Holy fuck what the hell kind of experiment were you a part of?"

Ryan shook his head and Geoff nodded.

"Right later if ever. Moving on, you alright?"

"Just tired. Healing takes a lot of energy." Ryan explained and Geoff nodded.

"Need water or anything?" Geoff offered and Ryan shook his head again.

"Burns. I'll just go out myself..."

"You sure? I'm sure the guys all have a million fucking questions." Geoff said as Ryan slowly rose up.

"Better now than later." Gwoff laughed.

"Fucking true. Though I have one more question." Ryan sighed.

"Shoot."

"Those sparkles Gavin's been collecting, do you make those?" Ryan laughed.

"When I teleport, Yeah. Dont know how or from where. But I do know Gavin has been using them on his nail polish and and eye shadow." Geoff busted out laughing as the two walked out into the penthouse living room. The lads shot up with Jeremy racing up to Ryan with Gavin close behind. A million questions poured out. But it was good.

[pk-majora]

do all the zelda asks if you dont mind!

hell yeah, so glad someone finally send me this ask lmao. full disclosure all of my experience is in the 3d zeldas lol.

Goddess Harp: Favorite piece of lore

one piece that always stuck with me was during the tutorial in majoras mask when youre learning how to z target right before entering the clock tower in termina. and you see the like dried up dead deku scrub and navi says something about how like sad it feels/looks and how similar you look to it after getting the deku mask put on you... always kills me. also i love any love quest lmao kafei/anju in majoras mask and hudson and his super cute gerudo wife in tarrey town in breath of the wild ahh so cute. 

Ocarina of Time: Favorite song (whether it is playable or just background music) 

hands down the theme of the astral observatory in majoras mask. its my ringtone too lol.

Empty Bottle: Best thing to put in it

Oh i loved putting fish or bugs in them in ocarina of time and majoras mask. poe souls just looked cool in them too lol. idk if i had the choice it was always like aesthetically pleasing or cool things lol. 

Hookshot: Favorite way to travel in any of the games

Riding whatever was physically possible in breath of the wild. the spinner in twilight princess had a lot of fun although limited uses too.

Fairy Bow: Favorite type of arrow

oooh probably light arrows, just love the aesthetic and the idea

Fierce Deity Mask: If you could add any kind of transformation mask to any of the games, which would it be?

oooh torn between the goron mask and the zora mask from majoras mask. what games id put them in hmm. maybe one of the 2d ones? itd probably introduce some cool new elements. definitely have more experience with the 3d realm tho so... idk i think it could be kinda fun in wind waker lol. can you imagine wearing the zoras mask and swimming fast under water? in wind waker? in between sailing? god that sounds so fun!

Mirror Shield: Which character do you relate to the most?

i like the powerful women in some legend of zelda games. literally any iteration of zelda, impa, tetra, even malon/romani/cremia are all just super relatable to me. ooh especially riju. 

Master Sword: Favorite version of Link

i dont really think i have one? they all look cool in different ways. but i guess majoras mask or ocarina of time since those are the two i spent the most time playing as lol

Light Arrow: Favorite version of Zelda

probably breath of the wild or skyward sword zelda. she has so much personality in both games, especially if you collect all the memories in breath of the wild. 

Lens of Truth: Favorite version of Demise/Ganon

probably in ocarina of time just bc of how interesting the fights with him were and just how cool he looked. 

Whip: Most attractive character in your opinion (if applicable)

man this is a hard choice. i love all of the gerudo, the rito, the zora all like super hot right? cant just be me... also literally every female legend of zelda character lmao.

Horse Call: Favorite companion character (Fi, Navi, Tatl, etc.)

Probably navi or tatl since i spent a lot of time playing the n64 zelda games

Picori Sword: What do you feel is the most underrated game in the series?

most underrated? probably twilight princess. i feel like it got some flack but i thought the game was really beautiful and had some really fun diverse gameplay elements. 

Zora Tunic: Favorite species

i like the kokiri in ocarina of time, mainly bc the idea of a race of people who dont age past a certain age paired with the fact that link very obviously ages in the time that passes is just super interesting. i also love the koroks, rito, gorons, gerudo, zora, man its so hard to choose lol.

Goron Tunic: Favorite area of any game

the fishing area in ocarina of time lol i actually loved the fishing mechanic. follow up is zora domain or gerudo valley in breath of the wild...both are just like so pretty? 

Gibdo Mask: Favorite monster

i like the stall children in majoras mask bc even tho their enemies and killable lmao they also have their own like lines of dialogue and personality if you wear their mask around them. also loved chasing captain keeta.

Giant’s Mask: Favorite Boss Battle

probably super predictable but does majora count? the creepy movements, the optional use of the fierce diety mask, all the different like iterations of majora. so fucking cool.

Captain’s Hat: Favorite Mini-Boss Battle

gotta be dark link from ocarina of time. that shit was so cool.

Red Potion: Go all offensive, or play it safe?

go all out offensive and die multiple times trying lmao

Green Potion: Do you prefer magic or stamina? Or would you like to see both implemented at the same time?

magic for sure. but i can definitely see both being implemented. 

Blue Potion: Most useful item

definitely the hookshot in games that let you use it freely for the most part. besides that maybe the bottles. 

Lantern: Scariest area of any game

probably a basic answer but youre first time seeing the shadow temple in ocarina of time? terrifying. follow up? when you go up to the moon in majoras mask and see the little mask salesmen...

[dwightkschrute]

In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of “reviewing” this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much I’ve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.

2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.

I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bf’s bff who became mine and my brother’s bff early on)’s dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldn’t go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)

February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentine’s Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I don’t even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentine’s Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we weren’t in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), I’d be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bf’s two huskies. I’ve just loved that picture since I took it! I’ve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)

April was barbecues at my house or my bf’s, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! They’re just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and I’d fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (I’ll admit I have basic taste but I don’t care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of “oh wouldn’t it be nice!”, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that “ha ha jk but I’m down if you are” way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)

Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided we’d want to live because that’s where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly “business.” Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, that’d require a lot and for our first time moving out we’d like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)

In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, I’ll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didn’t have to happen, though. I hadn’t talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so  sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time.  (I took this on my friend’s boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)

August was a blur and I’m still not convinced I didn’t just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didn’t help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought that’d be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time I’d feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldn’t even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary “high” of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. I’d hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Here’s a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)

When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because it’d almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldn’t believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh I’m looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)

October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. I’ll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I can’t begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. I’m a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. That’s all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. We’ve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)

November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, I “relapsed” and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing that’d help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, you’re one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, here’s a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)

In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. I’m seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, it’s the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..I’ll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. I’m one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didn’t care. But I survived December! (I don’t care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)

Jesus if you’ve read all of this.. I’m sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like “people my age I went to HS with vs me” memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. You’d roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I can’t get over how perfect we were, it’s hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something I’d NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I don’t know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... I’ve never been affected by people leaving my life. I’m used to it. I’ve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isn’t normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesn’t know what this feeling is.)

Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! I’ve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, I’m going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day that’s like “fuck this I’m just going to sit here.” I can’t even make a cute but corny, hopeful “hope 2019 is great!” comment. I’m literally begging you...pleading you... I don’t believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. “Good things are coming!” I fucking hope so. Like, I’ll be even more annoying right now and say that it’s not fair that I didn’t get to have the future I was about to have. I don’t care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and I’m just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know I’ll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go. 

So fine, I’ve accepted things now, so now I’m impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. I’m THREATENING you to be amazing!