#just that solas had secrets

[thebookworm0001]

i can't quite put words together about it but it is very funny and telling that when solas talks to you on your balcony, it is wildly obvious in retrospect how he's trying to figure out if you're more like the spirits he considers people than the rest of thedas

"your mind, your morals, your [insert massive pause and look off into the distance] spirit"

like, i wonder which one of those things matters most to you in this moment. you'd never be able to tell

[theresa-draws]

miha's really going through it again ;- ;

[nex-kyit]

Ehehe 100% self indulgent alt Varic x Mell art.

I really have to write down all my ship headcannons at some point, I keep thinking about them constantly <3

Art Rambles below

I actually finished 90% of this a week ago but I couldn't decide if I wanted to add Novabots or not. I'm glad I did, they added the extra details that this piece needed.

I tried a new shading technique, not only was much quicker than my usual method, it m think it doesn't look half bad! I used two gradient maps, one set to multiply and the other to color dodge. I think I'll try to practice this technique during the Art fight, see if I can get used to it.

[kierarhawke]

Wise, optimistic, curious, independent, mysterious. A few words that some would use to describe her. The Dalish mage who walked through a blizzard to return an unconscious Herald to her Inquisition.

A powerful Dreamer, Kirsi enjoys exploring the Fade to learn and escape. No demon has ever dared challenge her, for her mind is strong and her will indomitable. But now, her sanctuary has an intruder. Solas. He who persists despite her frosty, withdrawn nature. She fears dragging others into her troubles, and so began a life wandering alone, continuing to seek and absorb more knowledge as she went.

She has a special bond with halla, for they often come to her with no urging from herself, trusting and affectionate. Some have noted that she resembles the halla for, like them, she "knows who she is, and will tolerate no being who tells her she is less".

However, fate suddenly seems to work against her. Though her silence hides her wounds, the young Inquisitor and her companions continue to appear, unintentionally thwarting Kirsi's attempts to avoid them.

Somehow, she finds herself becoming both companion and mentor to the Inquisitor. Where this path with lead her, she does not know.

The dreams she has while within Skyhold may make up for the disturbance to her plans, though. 🤭

[punkrockgrantaire]

Not to be like “wish this had more narrative weight” about the wish-it-had-more-narrative-weight game but imagine if Dorian being an actual necromancer was at all mentioned or explored

[dragon--sage]

okay but WHAT did solas know about sera, and what's about to happen with that in da4 because they absolutely cannot leave us hanging!! is she an ancient elf but doesn't remember? does she harbor part of a god (andruil has been suggested in fan theories)? both? a secret third thing instead?

i'm also desperate to know how a weakening veil will impact sera, given that solas was convinced she had a sensitivity to the fade, and could probably maybe perform magic???! solas is getting her back for the lizards but i don't think he's bullshitting here either (he just knows it'll piss her off lmaooooooo, peevish little bastard *affectionate*).

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[felassan]

Just some info I noted down from today's video in text form, under a cut due to what some peeps may consider spoilers, and length.

This video took place well into the game, meaning the beats in it are later in the storyline.

At least part of Davrin’s personal arc involves rescuing the griffons. In an earlier part of his arc you are introduced to his nemesis, the Gloom Howler, a creature that has been hunting and stalking Wardens for quite some time. It has kidnapped a bunch of non-Assan griffons and Davrin has been trying to track it down. In the quest shown in the video, he has found a lead and wants to go and track it down and get the griffons back from the Cauldron (a secret Grey Warden redoubt that was attacked). Davrin wonders what the Wardens were hiding inside the Cauldron, as he has no idea. When the party reaches the Cauldron, they find that something large tore down the gate. The party needs to find a way inside and help Davrin investigate.

Davrin prefers a Direct approach in dialogue. Tough dialogue choices can gain approval from him

The bond between a griffon and a Warden moving as one and having unity between them is called “turlum”. Davrin and Assan don’t yet have this

Grey Wardens: Lancit, Remi, Landon, Quincy, Miriel, Fisher, Greta, Beckett, Flynn (an apprentice physician, whose mentor is called Oskar). I think Flynn’s pronouns are they/them. We will do quests with Flynn including A Cabin in the Blight. They were treating patients and became low on medical supplies. Their mentor Oskar has some and lives in a cabin outside the village. Flynn asks Rook to tell Oskar they could use his help if Rook sees him when they are out there. Flynn is local to Lavendel and saw the Blight surge through their home.

A Grey Warden merchant / quartermaster is called Holden. The little girl seen with Davrin in the release date trailer is called Mila.

If you do content in an area it helps you discover more shortcuts, giving you more flexibility in how you navigate between different remaining missions and quests

Each exploration space has its own story to tell. The quests and sidequests there are narratively relevant and also contribute to a meta story/meta narrative about that space. In Hossberg / Lavendel the aim is to get to the center of the Blighty stuff that has been going on there

Another Warden sidequest called Lives Spared seems to involve some missing Wardens who haven’t checked in in a while

Rook inherits the Lighthouse willingly or unwillingly from Solas. It’s located in the Fade and is where Solas was able to start planning his rebellion against the elven gods millennia ago

The Lighthouse shapes itself around your personality. Companions’ rooms there shape themselves around the companions as they live there and go through their arcs. A glowing light above the entrance to a companion’s room indicates that they are ready to talk to us

Hossberg is a later game area. Hossberg Wetlands are dark swamps and the area has almost completely been consumed by the Blight, making it a lot more dangerous than before. As a zone it’s quite contiguous and has lots of branching paths and different areas to explore. The Grey Wardens set up shop in an outpost/fortress (this is only one of their bases) there called Grey Hold in the small town of Lavendel, which used to be a beautiful place full of life and flowers. The Blight has had a serious effect on Lavendel, but the residents are still there and trying to make the most of it. There are plenty of opportunities to help the residents.

The Wardens have noticed that something strange is going on; the Blight is not behaving as it should or as they would expect, or like it has done historically. A codex entry pops up called “An Improved Blight”. (basically we are getting Blight dialled up to eleven) Rook is there to work with the Wardens, help them out, and help them find the answer to their question about the Blight. In their outpost the Wardens have built up a small fighting force to hold off the darkspawn. They understand the stakes of the gods being released and want to help you but they have other priorities, so increasing their power allows them to contribute more meaningfully to your fight against the elven gods. The Blight has changed. It’s become a lot more organic, a lot more alive. Once a slow-moving wall, it now has almost-sentience and almost-thought behind it. This has something to do with the released Blighted elven gods.

Something bad happened to a place called D’Meta���s Crossing, it’s no longer standing.

It sounds like Weisshaupt has fallen.

Merchant shops can be upgraded, doing so unlocks new items.

The Crossroads is a location in the Fade that contains a number of eluvians, allowing you to travel across Thedas in a matter of minutes. At the point the video takes place, the Crossroads are under assault by the elven gods. It’s now a dangerous place.

The big eluvian in the Lighthouse is called the Vir Revas. (that could translate as Way/Path of Freedom). It’s the central focus point of the Lighthouse and it takes you to Solas’ pocket area of the Crossroads, which looks different to what we’ve seen in Trespasser. “A path has emerged from the mists of the Fade that leads to a gathering point where all eluvians meet – the Crossroads”. We will spend a lot of time travelling through the Crossroads as we go from area to area. At one point, it was also a space that served as Solas’ main base of operations and training ground for his rebellion against the elven gods. As we go through it we will find fragments of the past, things that Solas did previously that will give us insight into him as a character, and also into the elven gods and their motivations. If you go exploring in the Crossroads there are opportunities to relive some of the memories Solas had during his rebellion. We will actually get to take part in this ancient rebellion.

The Crossroads as a realm reflects the waking world. It’s a mix/ amalgamation of all the real world spaces that are tied to it, in this case for example Hossberg and other mountainous regions that exist in the game. The architecture around the eluvians here very clearly reflects where they lead. The first time you go to any of the new regions in the world you traverse the Crossroads to get there. After that you can fast travel if you want. But exploring the Crossroads is recommended because some of the deepest secrets lie within

There is a mysterious spirit in the Crossroads called The Caretaker who was there before Solas was. They started to help Solas with his rebellion and also to turn the area into a safe haven for spirits, as Solas loves spirits. In the video we see them piloting a boat through the air to transport Rook somewhere. Because the gods are assaulting the Crossroads, it’s no longer the safe haven it once was. Rook works with the Caretaker through a lot of ancillary content to rebuild it into a safe home for spirits.

There is an area in the Crossroads called Beacon Island

The darkspawns’ different looks is very intentional. Their new look is in part because Ghilan’nain, described here as "the god of monsters", has always been focused on using the Blight essentially as a crafting material, a way to alter life itself. she’s been enhancing and changing the darkspawn as part of her army. She uses Blight like a medium to sculpt and warp the darkspawn to do her bidding and suit her purposes. The idea is that the Blight and the darkspawn are an organic weapon. Instead of making swords and armor, the darkspawn use the Blight to augment themselves, effectively defeat you and give the gods the world that they desire. The darkspawn aren’t just coming out of nowhere. They emerge from Blight pools, like the Blight is spawning them. Part of Ghil’s attempts to turn this into an army for the gods is to use them for overwhelming force. Hurlock Blighters have disgusting growths on their backs that they throw, making them function like grenadiers as they rip off these pieces of themselves and throw them at you - these then explode as Blight – this kind of enemy design for the darkspawn is supposed to lean into the idea that the Blight is organic and disgusting. In places there are Blight boils throughout the area, and if Rook doesn’t destroy them during combat ghouls will continue to emerge from them.

It sounds like in terms of ‘factions of enemies’ and their designs, we have the darkspawn which use overwhelming force tactics, the Venatori which focus on magical power, and the Antaam which focus on physical strength

Zipline traversal is in

Each mage’s (Neve, Bellara, Emmrich) healing ability is thematically appropriate to them

I think Davrin’s special exploration ability, or one of them, is called Blight Hunter. (one of the ones Rook can channel through the dagger when that companion isn’t there). This summons Assan from above to destroy Blight Abscesses. He seems to have another as well that Rook can also use via the dagger called Griffon Strike. In the video Rook uses this one to destroy a mechanism that was keeping a load of wood suspended in the air from a beam.

We see Rook also using the dagger to "charge beam" and destroy what looked like a thick tendril of organic Blight across the ground, and to destroy a ‘wall’ of blight abscesses that was blocking the way. At one point in the video Rook comments that the dagger is vibrating, "like a song in a wine glass"

When companions go ahead to meet you at quests they’re invested in, they won’t complete them without you, but they do get things ready. If you start doing those quests and don’t have them in your party, they will move ahead of you and wait for you at the next point.

[kcwriter-blog]

I've been thinking about how we the players know so little about Solas compared to what the writers and developers know about him and how that affects the way he is written.

I mean we know he is an ancient elf. We know he was powerful enough and skilled enough to create the Veil. We know he and Mythal were friends. He doesn't seem to have liked Andruil and Falon'Din much. Skyhold belonged to him. He removed vallislin. He tried to free slaves. He had kind of an underground railroad thing going. He seems to have had a lot of money secreted away. He painted even back in Arlathan. A lot of statues seem to have been made of him. People in the Vir Dirthara knew he created the Veil but were surprised that he would do something like that. He seems to have always had an affinity for the Fade and spirits. He enjoyed whatever version of the Game nobles in Arlathan played. He was cocky and hot blooded, always spoiling for a fight. He is capable of love and friendship.

I think that's all and it really isn't much. Everything else anyone says about him is pure speculation. It makes meta fun but its easy to get too caught up in our own ideas.

We speculate about him based on things we learn from his personal quests and what we see in Trespasser but we don't know anything for sure. Was he a slave? Was he a spirit called out of the Fade by Mythal and given a body? Did he manifest a body like Cole? Was he just a normal elf born in a small village to the north? Was he a noble and privileged or did he work his way up? Did he join the fight against the Titans? Was he a genius who theorized that the waking world and Fade could be separated? Did he use untried magic because his back was against the wall and he couldn't think of any other way to save the world? Was he a friend of the Evanuris so they trusted him enough to fall into his trap? Was he one of them?

So many questions. The writers have tried to portray him sympathetically. They want us to empathize with him. And I have to ask myself why? He is one of the antagonists. Wouldn't it be easier to portray him as not having any redeeming qualities? And yet, he is basically described as the hero who lived long enough to become the villain.

I know his detractors believe he is a genocidal, racist maniac but that doesn’t track with everything we learn about him as high approval or romanced Inquisitors. It certainly isn’t born out by his statement that he is doing his best to minimize the damage.

He truly believes what he is doing is best for the world and is willing to break it and remake it. What does he know? But more importantly, what do the writers know? Fen' Harel has existed since Origins. Devs have always planned for him to make an appearance. That means the valleslin has always been a mark of slavery even if the Dalish didn't know. The Creators have always been horrible, slave owners even if the Dalish don't remember. Which means Solas has always been the rebel fighting for what he believes is right.

Why do the writers see him not so much as the villain (although Epler uses that word constantly - he is usually the only one though) as they do a somewhat noble person who keeps making mistakes? Why is he portrayed as just a sad man who can't see past his regret and guilt. What was he like? What changed him? What did he know about the Veil before he put it up?

I get that a lot of people don't like the idea of being tied to him in Veilguard but maybe the writers did that so we have no choice but to get to know him - the good and the bad. Maybe we finally get to know Solas the way the writers and developers know him. I'm looking forward to that.

[mrs-gauche]

Let's talk about the Red Lyrium Idol

(…Because it's not like this thing has been discussed to death over the past ten years, right? 😂 *drops my two cents in the Scrooge McDuck money bin*)

Ah yes… The red lyrium idol. The one thing that's given me a headache since 2018, as I'm still trying to figure out how this damn thing could possibly fit into my bazillion tinfoil theories.

Whether it's the first official DA4 teaser in 2018, the Blue Wraith comic series or the entirety of the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, a lot of the supplementary media and promotional stuff setting up the course for DA4 seems to be centered around the idol. Quite literally, in some cases, like this mural from the first 2018 teaser:

It certainly led us to think that the idol won't just be another McGuffin (or so I hope lol), but other than that, it's still heavely shrouded in mystery…

Which is why I will now make an attempt to unravel this and gather every single bit of information we have on it (so far) and maybe that'll get us closer to some sort of answer in the end (actually, it won't, because this got SO long that I had to split this post in two parts lol No one's going to read all of this anyway 💀)!

Look, I just needed to get this behemoth of a post out before we might get an actual substantial trailer tomorrow and none of this will probably matter anymore. 😂💀

(Note: This whole thing was initially intended to be solely for myself to keep track of any information we've gotten about the idol since DA2. But since it's gotten SO long over the years, I figured why not just rewrite it into a somewhat coherent text and post it on here? :D ......Seriously, it's really, REALLY effing long.)

The Idol's Journey so far

To me, the idol always seemed to be something like "The One Ring" in LOTR. A forged ancient artifact with creepy unknown powers that is said to feel "alive", almost as if it possesses a will of its own, seeing as it has somehow found its way from countless random people, back to (presumably) its former owner. It also appears to be somewhat cursed, given that almost everyone who held it at one point seems to have died or gone mad by now (Yeah, I'm very worried about Varric and Hawke 👀).

Let us start with a quick summary of the journey the idol has made in the span of about 12-13 years (not counting the unknown timespan in which the last chapter of Tevinter Nights takes place):

First discovered by Hawke and Varric in an ancient Thaig in the Deep Roads.

Stolen by Bartrand, who then made a quick trip to Rivain.

Sold to Meredith, who turned it into a sword.

Taken out of Meredith's petrified corpse by Carta dwarves.

Sold again to a Tevinter mage, who brought it to House Qintara in Ventus.

Handed to a secret agent of Fen'Harel named Gaius (who was impersonating Magister Qintara).

Traded away to Tractus Danarius.

Handed to Magister Nenealeus at Castellum Tenebris to be used as part of a ritual.

Picked up by Cedric Marquette after the fortress fell, while trying to escape.

Handed back to Tractus Danarius, who then probably (not confirmed) went to Nevarra to perform another blood magic ritual.

Picked up by a Mortalitasi who (maybe) took it to Tevinter.

(Supposedly!) ended up in a vault under an auction house in Llomerryn in Rivain, where it was (supposedly!) retrieved by Solas.

That's quite the journey… that you wouldn't even know half about if you didn't read the comics or Tevinter Nights. But whereas the book and comics were all published after the first teaser trailer in 2018, after which the idol became the center of the fandom's attention and speculation, it should be noted that a connection to the idol was in fact already made way back in 2014, when people noticed that the image of Solas holding Flemeth's lifeless body at the end of Inquisition was very reminiscent of something else.

...Which brings us to the point of what the idol is even depicting to begin with.

Description

Before I'll start to give my own description based on the models in-game, the teaser and concept art, I'd like to quote the people who've actually seen it in person.

In the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, we are being told three tales by three different people, who all describe the same idol differently.

The Carta Assassin: "A couple hugging, too thin to be dwarves - but it's sitting there, glowing softly like a ruby lit by the grace of the Maker himself. […] It's heavier than you'd think - lyrium's heavier than you'd think, too, but this was heavy even for that. When I hefted it in my hand, it was like it wanted to keep moving, like it was liquid inside."

The Mortalitasi: "An idol crafted from red lyrium, which seemed to show two lovers, or a god mourning her sacrifice. It whispered in our minds when we saw it […]."

The Orlesian Bard/Solas: "He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other."

The one thing that all of these seem to have in common though is two figures who embrace each other in some way.

Which is interesting, because in all the depictions of the idol we've seen so far, it clearly shows three people instead of two. Granted, the third figure is a bit cramped up in the back of the crowned figure, but what's strange is that not even Solas himself mentions this third figure.

Most notable though is the crowned female looking figure in the center, which is holding onto the two other figures on each side of the ring shaped object (or it's the two figures holding onto the female?). The figures themselves look rather goulish, deadly or skeletal, with their bone structure clearly visible and all their expressions captured in a mix of horror or torment. The small carved-in lines coming from the middle figure's eye sockets also resemble black tears, much like we've seen on "The Mother" in Awakening.

There's also no sign of clothing, which is all the more apparent on the concept art of the idol, in which the breast of the middle figure is.. much more prominent. lol (We don't make fun of saggy boobs in this house, it's just nature and gravity after all, but for the sake of observation, I will note that they do remind me of Broodmother boobs, too 😂), aside from a hint of what could be a veil on the middle figure's head.

At the bottom of the idol, the lower bodies of the figures seem to fully submerge within its name-giving red lyrium and this "claw" type thing, which is coming off in the shape of crystalline red lyrium spikes at the tail end, though in the concept art and the DA2 model, these spikes were clearly more like red lyrium roots. But either way, the bottom makes it kinda look like it's been broken/ripped off?

We can also see tentacle like features, that remind me of the figures we've seen in the mural in the 2020 teaser and the depiction in the 25th anniversary book that revealed to us what the Archdemons were initially supposed to look like. 👀

I'd also like to point out that in the original concept art of the idol, the ears of the crowned figure look much more pointy to me than in later versions. 👀

There's also this "ring", that I've seen many people connect to how the Veil is often portrayed in Solas' murals.

But if this ring is supposed to depict the Veil, then what could it mean for the crowned figure reaching across to hold that ominous third figure on the "other side"?

And yes, I recognize that this ominous third figure also seems to be missing a left arm, just like another certain main character. 👀

The one thing that stands out the most though, is probably the crown itself. Most people might first associate it with Andraste, when the same shape can be traced as far back as ancient statues of Mythal.

Yeah, there's definitely a pattern here. 😂

That being said…

Connection to Mythal & Solas

Okay, we all know about the theory that Andraste might have been Mythal's previous host, right? We all know about the parallels between Mythal's story, Andraste, Flemeth, etc. And after comparing the idol to Flemeth and Meredith in their moment of death, considering all of the above/following and how old this thing potentially is, I will now make a wild guess here and argue that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death.

"He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other. But I could not make out the words, for I fear they were elven."

Not only does Solas seem to hold sentimental value for whoever the crowned figure is supposed to be, while also talking to it in elven, but the way he describes to "caress" the idol in Tevinter Nights does also seem to mirror how Flemythal was comforting him at the end of DAI.

However, I always thought it was a bit odd how Solas describes the idol as "a figure comforting another", when… tbh, "comforting" would probably be last thing that comes to my mind when I look at this...

"Agony" would be more fitting here, maybe? lol Kinda begs the question of how Mythal was murdered, too, with this being her expression in her moment of death? 👀

Without getting too much into it here, if there's one thing we can take from everything we've learned so far about their past, Solas' relationship with Mythal must've been a rather complicated one, to say the least.

"He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."

Solas calls Mythal "the best of the elven gods", calling her "the mother, protective and fierce", and Solas is even described in the designer's notes as "Mythal's oldest friend" who is all about free will, yet if the spirit origin theory is true and Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are in fact about them, it was Mythal who gave Solas a body against his will, potentially bound/enslaved him with her vallaslin, and maybe even forced him to act against his original purpose?

"You should have seen me when I was younger. Hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight."

Cole: "You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them." Inquisitor: "Solas, what is Cole talking about?" Solas: "A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."

How much of what happened was Solas acting out Mythal's will, or rather, acting out of vengeance and pain in reaction to Mythal's death? How much of it was him acting downright impulsive?

Solas: “Cole is a spirit. The death of the real Cole wounded him, perverted him from his purpose. To regain that part of himself, he must forgive.” Varric: “You don’t just forgive someone killing you.” Solas: “You don’t. A spirit can.”

Or was it Mythal's death itself that "wounded him and perverted him from his purpose", just like he described what happened to Cole?

And what does that say about Mythal then, when she clearly hasn't forgiven her murderers and still strives for vengeance after all this time? What if Solas' own perception of Mythal and all the circumstances surrounding her murder is warped because he was once bound to her? 👀

Anyway. To get back to topic.

So if we assume that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death, then that brings us to the next question of why the idol is even made of red lyrium? Or rather, what is Mythal's connection to red lyrium?

We know that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan. Mythal was the first to kill a Titan and mine their blood for things we won't get into in this post. So, how did the idol end up in the Deep Roads, anyway? How long had it been there? One thing that's kinda strange to me, is how the DA wiki page about the idol says that it was forged by the dwarves, solely based on the fact that it was initially found in the Deep Roads, when we have no actual evidence for that. We've seen statues of both Mythal and the Dread Wolf in the Deep Road section in Trespasser where the mining of lyrium was undergone, but we don't know if the dwarves even had any part in building them as well.

Would the dwarves forge an idol of the elven deity who conquered them and killed their Titan, if they were somehow forced to do so? We also have to remember that dwarves were and still are the only ones able to actually mine raw lyrium safely, but even the Carta dwarves in Tevinter Nights had to take several precautions in order to recover the red lyrium idol from Meredith's corpse. And even then, many of them still fell shaking or went mad in its presence like Bartrand.

So if it only takes that little exposure to have that much of an effect on someone's sanity, how were the ancient dwarves or anyone even able to create it in the first place? What if the idol was initially made of blue lyrium but was then somehow corrupted?

And if we take one moment to really think about what an idol actually is.

"An object representing extreme devotion and religious worship to a god."

While Solas doesn't think of any of the Evanuris as actual gods, he still seems to hold Mythal at such a high regard that he wouldn't even speak of her at a sacred place like the Temple of Mythal (whether or not that was because he just wanted to withhold any secret ancient knowledge). He's able to fully recite the invocation to Mythal if you bring him with you to her altar. He also looks exactly like the sentinels in Mythal's temple.

I could go on, but generally speaking, there are so many little hints pointing to Solas being a former slave/servant of Mythal that, again, we won't get into here, but it's important to mention when trying to figure out why the idol (presumably) even belongs to Solas.

"The idol's journey is now complete, and it has found its master."

In Tevinter Nights, the Dread Wolf claims that the red lyrium idol belongs to him. He also made sure to punish those who tried to misuse it, going so far as to march in with an entire army of spirits and snapping a guy's neck with his jaw. (Yup, you're better off not to touch the Dread Wolf's stuff for dirty blood rituals, kids.)

"You use my idol carelessly, and in doing so, you threaten all creation."

Additionally, in the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, Charter and other spies conclude that Solas must need the idol for whatever ritual he's planning, while Solas in Bard disguise claims that he's already in possession of the idol now and therefore, I quote, "cannot be stopped". (Though I personally still don't actually buy a single thing about his vivid tale at that auction house, but we'll get back to this later. lol)

And if the idol belongs to Solas, was he the one who created it, or did he order the dwarves or someone else to make it for him? But why would he intentionally make an idol out of red lyrium, anyway? He is fully aware of the dangers and corruption that comes with being exposed to red lyrium and its use. Especially considering that red lyrium is blighted and how he repeatedly expresses great concern over the Blights and gets furious over the Grey Wardens' attempts to preempt them by killing the Archdemons (because he obviously knows more than us).

So, does he know a way to use it without getting corrupted like everyone else? The Seekers of Truth are so far the only ones we've seen to be immune to red lyrium thanks to having their minds touched by a spirit of Faith during their vigil. Could Solas' connection to spirits/his hypothetical spirit origin allow him to use the idol without it effecting him?

But if any of this is true, then l'm again asking myself what even was the purpose of the idol to begin with? Why or when was it created? How does it differ from any other red lyrium, and what could Solas have used it for in the ancient past?

Powers & Effects

So, let's talk about what this thing can actually do (as far as we know).

(Btw, this is the part where I will shamelessly copy a lot straight from the DA wiki, because truth be told, I'm just a German struggling with limited vocabulary and I figured there's simply no way to summarize this any better than the wiki already has. 💀)

Just like any other red lyrium, we know that being exposed to the idol for too long will make you mad/paranoid/possessive/violent, while also grant you special powers, until overuse causes your body to be completely overtaken by red lyrium. It seems to thin the Veil wherever it is currently kept, allowing spirits or demons to interact with the physical world.

It also emanates a song that is slowly turning people who hear it insane.

The Song

"It sings… sick music." "It eats you inside until you're nothing." "It creeps into your thoughts, humming." "They hear a different song. The song behind the door old whispers want opened. They are dead and dark and done." "Songs screaming far away. It wants to wake up but can't remember how."

(- Cole's comments about red lyrium/red templars)

After Bartrand took the idol and left Varric and Hawke to die in the primeval Thaig, he started hearing voices, claiming the idol was "singing" to him. Even after selling it, Bartrand could still hear the idol and was eventually driven mad by its red lyrium.

Three years later, it is discovered that Bartrand had chipped a piece of the idol off and left it in his estate, which causes the house to behave like it was haunted and the Veil was torn.

Then during the "Haunted" quest, Varric himself remarks several times to hear music while walking through the estate, much like the Carta assassin in Tevinter Nights recalled to have heard "music in the wind, like some old song I heard as a kid but can't quite remember" when obtaining the idol from Meredith's corpse.

Important to mention here is that Varric seems to also be the only one in the party able to hear this song.

Varric: "Hey… is that music? Where is that coming from?" Hawke: "In don't hear anything." Varric: "Where is that singing coming from? You hear it, right, Hawke?" Varric: "Where is that voice coming from?" Hawke: "What voice?" Varric: "I can barely hear it… I wish I could make out the words."

Varric also told us that, after Bartrand went mad, he tortured his non-dwarven servants by cutting pieces off them to help them "hear the song".

(And remember, the idol was found in an ancient primeval Thaig in the Deep Roads, sitting on something like an altar, indicating that it was being worshiped by the ancient dwarves as well. Presumably because they too were being influenced by the idol's/red lyrium's song?)

Haunted

During the "Haunted" quest, we learn that the mere presence of a shard of the idol in the estate causes:

"Voices whispering in the walls"

Random objects moving on their own

Apparitions/screaming spirits appear running across the floors

When Varric picks up the piece of the idol, he starts to exhibit the same symptoms of madness Bartrand showed, at which point Hawke can either let Varric keep the piece, or can take it from him with the intent of having Sandal destroy it.

If Hawke asks Anders to diagnose Bartrand in Act 2, he suspects a demon at work, however Bartrand is a dwarf. Instead, he determines that "his mind has been poisoned by something powerful".

In Tevinter Nights, the Carta assassin recalls that, in the attempt to retrieve the idol from Meredith's corpse, most of his colleagues fell shaking and whispering the closer they got to it.

Meredith

After Bartrand sold the idol to Meredith, she reshapes it into her sword Certainty, which does eventually drive her insane as well. It also gives her unnatural powers, such as the ability to animate the statues in the Gallows, and even limited flight capabilities.

(My question is though, were the things happening in that final fight directly caused by the idol or was this just the result of the Veil being already weakened that much by the many terrible things that happened at that place/Kirkwall in general?)

Anyhow, during the final battle at the Gallows, Meredith overuses the lyrium sword, causing it to burst into dust and petrify her into a statue.

Though as we all know now, some part of Meredith seems to have survived somehow, as her… mind(?) or something was shown to now still "live" within the red lyrium somewhere in Kirkwall at the end of Absolution. She (or "it") also seems to have somewhat control over the red templars now, too.

So, how is this possible? What exactly is she now, if it even is herself and not just a manifestation/echo of her memories or something? Could it have something to do with the idol? No one really knows (and we might never find out, if Netflix won't give us a second season, anyway lol), but I do think it's curious how the idol is likely depicting Mythal's death, who didn't actually die either and lived on through the ages as a type of lingering "wisp" clinging to various hosts. 👀

I also want to point out how Solas did suspiciously include Meredith's petrified corpse in his mural in the 2020 teaser as well, placing her right under that ominous upside down figure with the tentacles.

Furthermore, just like Meredith, the idol also seems to be somewhat indestructable. lol After Meredith's sword burst into dust, it regrew inside her petrified corpse (which Solas was apparently also aware of). What's interesting is that it regenerated in Meredith's chest of all places. You know, like, where the heart is supposed to be? 👀

Then there's also this curious line from Anders, when talking about Varric acting strange after obtaining a shard of the idol:

"This thing's magic seems only more potent when broken."

I've mentioned it before, but with the spikes (or roots in DA2) at the bottom part of the idol making it look like it was ripped or broken off of something, you have to wonder if its current state is somewhat broken, even after regenerating.

"Hot-Blooded"

During the Haunted quest, Fenris will remark this:

"Whatever is here is angry."

In DAI, Cole repeatedly comments on how red lyrium feels "very angry" and how it is "less angry when it's cold". We know for a fact that red lyrium emanates a noticeable heat. A corrupted Bartrand is especially weak to cold/ice magic.

While anger is generally associated with heat, I find this aspect particularly interesting, given that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan.

And building on that, while still searching for further connections between red lyrium, the idol and Mythal… Remember how the ancient sarcophagus in the Blue Wraith and Dark Fortress comic was used in a ritual, in which lyrium combined with fire of a Great dragon carved lyrium infused markings into Fenris' and Shirallas' skin, granting them special powers.

Not only was this ancient sarcophagus specifically built only for elves, and its design resembling that of Mythal's statues…

…but here we have a case in which lyrium is purposefully "set on fire" by a Great dragon to create "elven super soldiers". Mythal is always depicted as a dragon. And she mined lyrium in humongous amounts.

Again, red lyrium emanates heat. If this was common practice in ancient times, then I feel like it's not surprising that a Titan would eventually be pretty damn angry in reaction to its blood being continuously burned for centuries [insert boiling blood joke here].

So, aside from the red lyrium being blighted, could there be a connection in Mythal burning the Titans' blood? As far as we know, it did take a couple of aeons in which Mythal (presumably) continued to mine (and burn?) the Titans' blood, before the ancient elves sealed the Deep Roads for good, because they discovered something… bad. As Solas himself declares in the vision described at the mural depicting a Titan's death:

"Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger." "The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic." "Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast."

And there it is again. That anger we're talking about. What's so interesting to me, is how this does sort of come full circle with Mythal and the idol after all, since the motivation behind Mythal's actions, even after thousands of years, remains her unwavering desire for vengeance upon the people who betrayed and murdered her, which, in a way, does mirror the same anger/heat that the Titan is emanating from its tainted blood.

And speaking of blood……

A Ritual Blade

In Tevinter Nights, we learned that the idol is able to produce a blade, which is then used as part of a blood magic ritual.

"The Tevinter mage was killing his slaves. […] He had cut the throat of one of them, and then another, catching the blood of his victims on the idol as he made his way around the circle. […] The Tevinter mage raised the idol before him, and I saw a spike of lyrium spring from the base of the idol, so that all at once, it was not merely an idol, but a ritual blade. He slashed his own hand, and a wave of power pulsed through the cavern. It was as though we were the blood, and the cavern was the body through which it flowed, and we fell, all of us, to the ground, our minds pulled into the raw chaos of the Fade by the power of his ritual."

In the end of the Dark Fortress comic, the idol produced another red lyrium sword, that could be fully detached and was then placed onto the before-mentioned sarcophagus, turning Shirallas into a raving beserker that was pretty much invincible as long as he was in possession of that same sword.

While the blue lyrium infused sword that was used in Fenris' ritual simply dissolved in the process, the sword produced by the idol could "regenerate" and was especially resistant to Great dragon fire.

"Unlike the lyrium-infused swords of the so-called Arcane warriors, this sword should survive the ritual."

In the final fight against him, Marquette comments on how Shirallas "feeds energy to the sword from the red lyrium in his veins" and how in turn "the sword heals his wounds".

So in both the comic and Tevinter Nights, the idol/the weapon produced from the idol seems to draw power specifically from the blood of its wielder. It makes me wonder if it was initially intended to be used this way, since we have to remember that it still presumably belongs to Solas, who claims to not practice blood magic, because it seems to make it more difficult to enter the Fade.

Which is ironic, given what the mage in Tevinter Nights did to disrupt the Fade, but also how the Magisters Sidereal used a massive blood ritual to enter the Fade physically.

And oddly enough, in your first conversation with Solas about blood magic, he makes this curious analogy with daggers as an example…

Inquisitor: Every time I've seen blood magic used, it has been for some evil purpose. Solas: I once saw a woman being stabbed in the stomach with a dagger. She died slowly, in angony. It was repulsive. If the Chantry outlawed daggers, would that stop the people from using it? Of course not. […]" Inquisitor: "You don't need to sacrifice a slave's life to make a dagger." Solas: "I suppose it depends upon the dagger."

So… Could Solas be referencing Mythal's death here? Or what if the dagger here is referring to the idol in its blade form? What the heck does he mean by "I suppose it depends upon the dagger"? Was a slave's life sacrificed to create the idol maybe?

But if blood magic wasn't the sole purpose for why it was made, then what else could the idol as a ritual blade be used for?

Which brings us to…

Dalish mythology

According to Dalish legends, Fen'Harel told the Creators and the Forgotten Ones that the Avvar had forged a "terrible weapon", a blade that would end the war between both clans of gods. He told the Creators that it was forged in the heavens, while the Forgotten Ones were told that it was hidden in the Abyss. And when the gods went seeking it, Fen'Harel sealed them both in their realms forever.

Okay. So, let's just assume for a second that the blade in this legend was actually the idol in its blade form. Because hell, what are the odds of having two "super powerful ancient blades that belong to Solas"? lol

If they are in fact the same weapon and the part about Solas tricking the gods is true, why were the Evanuris and the Forgotten Ones so eager to get this thing, to the point that they would fell into a trap?

And with this, I'd also like to point out the level design in the scene in which Flemeth takes Kieran's Old God soul in the Fade. I can't help but feel like the statue of Dirthamen being stabbed in the back with a sword, crying a stream of blood, resulting in a huge pool of blood, as well as a bloody ouroboros symbol on the ground, is a very deliberate design choice. Especially considering the context of this scene with the revelation about Flemeth and Mythal, I'd argue this is all in reference to how Mythal was betrayed and murdered.

Again, the idol could depict Mythal in her moment of death. In the final fresco in the rotunda, the one Solas never finished before leaving the Inquisition, we see a wolf looming over a dragon slain by a blade.

In the last visual of the 2022 cinematic that, going by Varric's narration, could potentially depict the destruction of the Veil, Solas appears to hold something that resembles a blade with a very destinct handle. Additionally, we've since discovered an icon hidden on the Steam page of DA4, that shows a dagger with an identical shape and the same glowy purple as the Dreadwolf title.

So we have the idol in its blade form, the blade Mythal was potentially slain with, the blade Solas is holding in the 2022 cinematic, Solas mentioning a dagger in relation to blood magic and Fen'Harel's blade in Dalish legends.

That's a lot of blades... and a lot of blood. lol

The Hunt of the Fell Wolf

"The Hunt of the Fell Wolf" is the title of a poem that can be found in the Jaws of Hakkon DLC. It tells a story of former Inquisitor Ameridan, his friend Haron and their fight against a demon wolf.

Along with numerous odd things in this tale that could be interpreted as some kind of metaphor (or just the devs messing with us, if you want to know more, please check out this post), it also mentions an "idol of fade-touched stone" in connection to the demon wolf.

The wounded knight in darkness Found within the cavern’s gloom An idol of fade-touched stone, Which could prove the monster’s doom.

In the poem, after a grim fight, the wolf takes Ameridan's friend Haron to its lair, a "labyrinth of winding cave" (which many believe is referring to the Deep Roads, just like the ancient Thaig in DA2 where Hawke and Varric found the red lyrium idol originally) where Haron, oddly enough, also happens to find an idol. What's intruiging though, is that this idol seems to be connected to the wolf in such a way that he can only be defeated if both him and the idol are destroyed and struck down at the same time.

With burning blade, Ameridan And monster met again Whilst elsewhere did Haron valiantly With demon-wards contend.

As demon-stone was shattered, Ameridan struck true: Beast and spirit—both felled at once, Though neither hunter knew.

"Beast and spirit—both felled at once"

Two entities that are connected across two different places… as in the physical body and the spirit maybe?

As in the waking world and the Fade?

So, let's reiterate.

The red lyrium idol belongs to the Dread Wolf. Cole remarks how he can feel that Solas is "in both places". The word "Dread Wolf" itself is an anagram for "World" and "Fade". We've talked about the popular spirit origin theory before, Solas taking a physical form against his will because of Mythal. The whole matter of Solas' "true name" before he called himself Pride. Solas' entire personal quest, which may or may not mirror his own past, a spirit of Wisdom being denied its original purpose, turning into a pride demon ("He wants to give wisdom not orders"). His strange remarks at the end of Cole's personal quest ("We cannot change our nature by wishing"). The fact that Solas makes Cole forget about his true identity, just like spirit!Cole does. The visual portrayal of Solas "consuming" Flemeth's powers at the end of DAI. The way in which Solas doesn't recognize anyone in the waking world as "people", but will vehemently debate you on why spirits should be considered people.

"But the People… They need me." (- Solas to Flemeth at the end of DAI) "Never again." (- Solas after burning the mages who were responsible for Wisdom's corruption) "From this moment, should you ever bind a spirit, your life is mine." (- the Dread Wolf's final warning to the mages in Tevinter Nights)

All of this considered, what could the poem in JOH imply for the connection between Solas and the Dread Wolf/the Dread Wolf and the idol?

"They made bodies from the Earth, and the Earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget."

One theory assumes that the creation of the Veil lead to the separation of the ancient elves' bodies and their souls/spirits, assuming that before the creation of the Veil, the Evanuris somehow made bodies from the Titans/lyrium for spirits to manifest and then enslaved/bound them to their will by marking those bodies with their vallaslin.

But if that's true, then what happened to Solas when he created the Veil?

"He broke the dreams to stop the old dreams from waking. The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap."

In all the murals, tarot cards and illustrations, the Dread Wolf and Solas are always depicted separately.

What really IS the Dread Wolf? And what is he to Solas?

"It was a beast unlike any I had ever seen. Lupine in appearance, but the size of a high dragon, with shaggy spiked hide and six burning eyes like a pride demon, and it came to us on wings of fire that resolved themselves into a horde of lesser demons."

From what little we know of the Dread Wolf himself, he only seems to exist within the Fade (that is to say, before the Veil, Solas was already depicted as a wolf, presumably even before his rebellion and before the Evanuris "bestowed" him with the title "Fen'Harel"). In the Mortalitasi's tale in Tevinter Nights, his army of spirits follows the mages back to the waking world, yet the Dread Wolf himself remains in the Fade. In one of the frescoes in the rotunda, Solas portrays the Black City surrounded by the six burning red eyes that resemble those of the Dread Wolf, almost like he's keeping watch over the eternal prison of those he banished. In the Tower tarot card, the Dread Wolf is ominously looming over Solas, almost like it's about to consume him, while in one of the Trespasser murals, it looks more like the Dread Wolf follows his lead. And then there's the DA4 2018 teaser mural, in which they're opposing each other, only seperated by the red lyrium idol in the center of the Veil.

If the red lyrium idol is connected to Solas like the idol in the poem is connected to the wolf, could this be part of the reason Solas is so desperate to find it? Does it possess some kind of spirit? Can the Dread Wolf only be defeated if the idol is destroyed at the same time, just like in the poem?

Where is it now?

So where's the damn thing now?

Well, in my opinion, there are two options.

Option 1) The bard's tale in Tevinter Nights was complete bullshit. lol

Despite Solas trying to convince us that he already obtained the idol in a vault some time ago under an auction house in Llomerryn, it's possible that, much like his whole charade in that chapter, this tale was also entirely fabricated. lol

To make it short, here is a list of arguments for why the "bard's tale" could've been a complete lie:

Solas attended this spy meeting specifically for information on the idol's whereabouts (because he doesn't actually know where it is currently?).

Everything until the last two pages was an act.

Both the Mortalitasi and the Carta Assassin point out several contradictions within his tale.

Upon hearing the other spies assuming that he needs the idol, it would just make sense that he would want them/Charter to believe that he’s now in possession of the idol and “cannot be stopped”, so that they would drop all effort to find it before him.

On the very last page of the book, there's a lists of bullet points of information when Charter is about to write down her report, and it does not explicitly say “He has the idol” but rather just what it looks like, which suggests that Charter didn’t buy his story either.

So if this was all lies, the last known location of the idol would therefore be the unknown person who took it when escaping from the Dread Wolf's spirit army in the Grand Necropolis in the tale of the Mortalitasi.

Meaning that Solas would therefore still be searching for it now. (Which would actually be kind of hilarious, considering how there's likely gonna be a ten year timeskip since DAI, so he would've been searching for the flippin thing for the better part of a decade now. 😂 We know from the end of the Blue Wraith comics that he had followed the idol's path via eluvian, but maybe he just lost track of it at some point? In fact, the last we heard from him, Solas was apparently busy pursuing some Venatori people to get another ancient artifact called the Crucious Stone in the The Missing comic, much like he prevented the Tevinter mage in Nevarra from using his idol. Solas after ten years of searching for the idol was probably like "Oh fuck it, I give up, on to McGuffin Nr 2 then". lmao)

In an interview with the comic writers Nunzio DeFilippis and Christina Weir, they talked about how in their initial draft of Dark Fortress, Solas actually *got* the idol(!!) from two of his agents by using the eluvian located at Nenealeus' place before BioWare stepped in and requested a change. 👀 That version would've explained how Solas was able to track the idol through the eluvian we see at the end. Their own interpretation was that Solas can only overlook a certain radius within the area of where another eluvian is located. Which would actually support the assumption that Solas might've lost track of the idol at some point after Nenealeus left the place… but that's just their interpretation and not official BioWare canon (yet), sooo…. Hm.

Option 2) Solas has the idol now.

So let's assume that the part about him obtaining the idol in Tevinter Nights was actually true and it's now in his possession.

Aside from this, the only thing that could speak for Solas already having the idol in the beginning of DA4, is once again the final visual in the 2022 cinematic.

If this cinematic is in fact playing at the beginning of the game as a general re-introduction to the lore and the last visual is depicting Solas in the middle of destroying the Veil using the idol, then.. well yeah, there it is, in his hand…. at least, for now. Making Solas succeed in the first 10 minutes, I guess? lol

……Unless!

See, a few years ago, I speculated about how the idol might actually be the perfect plot device/motivation for our new protagonist to get involved in the whole Solas deal without even knowing who he is.

Let's say the last visual in the 2022 cinematic is actually showing us a hypothetical scenario, and not something that has already happened/is currently happening. Like, Varric gives this expository narration explaining who Solas is and what might happen if we don't succeed in getting the idol. (Notice how Varric says "And we're the only ones who can stop him" at the end… Like there's still a chance to stop him before this actually happens.) We know from Tevinter Nights that Charter knows that Solas needs the idol for whatever ritual he's planning. And Charter obviously informed the Inquisition/Varric about this as well. So the next logical step for the Inquisition now would be to obtain the idol (whether or not the bard's tale in TN was true) to prevent this ritual at any cost, right?

The comic The Missing re-emphasized that Varric is now in charge of getting people that Solas doesn't know. And this might be where the new protagonist gets recruited by Varric (who is still a spymaster after all) and gets assigned the alias "Rook" for a heist mission to obtain the idol. (And after a very thorough observation of the DA4 reddit leaks from 2023… it looks like Rook might've actually succeeded in this potential quest?)

While we don't know when the stuff in the leaks actually takes place within DA4's storyline, I think it's safe to say that Rook will obtain the idol at some point in the story and that it will play a pivotal role, if the blurb on the Steam page for DA4 is to be believed. lol

As well as what could likely end up being the game's icon, found on the Steam page.

And again, remember how in the Hunt of the Fell Wolf poem, it seemed like Ameridan struck the wolf’s body in the waking world, while his friend Haron killed the spirit (inside the idol?) in the Fade. What could this imply for DA4 then, if we are applying the role of Ameridan, Haron and the wolf in this tale to the Inquisitor, Rook and Solas?? 👀 Is this how we can stop him? The Inquisitor confronts Solas in the waking world, while Rook has to destroy the idol/fight the Dread Wolf in the Fade?

Or could it just be a metaphor for the Inquisitor in DA4 keeping Solas occupied to distract him from Rook, while they can figure out another secret way to deal with him/how to get/destroy the idol?

See, the thing is, we have to remember that this is after all, a video game. lol Meaning that, if our protagonist gets to carry around a powerful ancient artifact/weapon, I would assume that this has to be somehow implemented in the gameplay as well. What we can take from the short footage of the 2023 reddit leak, is that Rook might carry the idol (if it really IS the same thing) while still fighting with their own main weapon in combat. So, what if the idol serves as more of a special power tool outside of combat, for example, like the anchor did in DAI, where it can only be used for special occasions? Let's say, the idol in its blade form can't be used in battle but is able to "split" the Veil or reality, like the anchor was able to open and close rifts? Or, if we assume that the idol is something like an ancient phylactery (which btw is my favorite theory and I will talk about in my second post), maybe it can be used as some kind of "tracking device"? Actually, I'm super curious to learn how Rook is even able to carry it like this in the first place, since we know what kind of effect it usually has on people. lol

~~~~~

Anyway, I'll make a hard cut here now and save the rest of this behemoth of a post for a second separate post (because I also just realized that tumblr doesn't let me add any more images 😂💀), so if any of you actually made it this far... thank you for being just as crazy as me about this and I will post the second part shortly after. lol ❤

[hwa-whiskers]

A Dirty Little Secret Pt. 2

Summary: Having a crush on your roommate who was the fuckboy of your university was bad enough, but what gets worse is when he brings other women home and you secretly masturbated upon hearing them that night, wishing it were you instead. But how will it unfold when Seonghwa finds out?

Warnings/Genre: smut. Fuckboy!seonghwa. Dom!seonghwa. Submissive reader. Dirty talk. Inexperienced reader. Masturbation. Fingering. Angst. Praising.

Word Count: 5K

Pt.1

PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU DON’T LIKE THESE TYPE OF FAN-FICTIONS! (SMUT AHEAD! MINORS DNI)

She then starts crawling towards Seonghwa as the group grows silent. 

Your chest grew heavier because what she said was indeed the truth. You weren’t experienced, you literally laid back there while Seonghwa barely touched you and you were already wanting more from him. 

Not even knowing if he actually enjoyed it at all. Your face turns gloomy as the thumping in your chest doesn’t go away. 

“Why don’t we have Seonghwa rate Sola’s kiss vs. her?” 

One of the other girls spoke out and you felt so called out, you hated how you couldn’t say anything back, but deep down you knew you weren’t good enough

You wanted to get out of here, and that’s what you did. 

“I have to go.” You quickly stood up, not sparing anyone a glance and grabbed your bag. You ran as fast as you could, not looking back at all.

“Y/n!” You hear Jongho’s voice call out to you, but you were too embarrassed to turn back now. 

The group starts getting chaotic as the other boys were confused and the girls start talking over one another. 

“Kiss! Kiss!” It is all that can be heard as you slam the door shut, running away as quick as you can.

*10 minutes later*

You took a deep breath once you were away from Jongho’s house, already reaching your shared apartment.

“Y/N!” Jongho catches up to you and your tears begin falling from your eyes again. “I want to be alone for now…” You tell him, slowly walking away and he lets you go, knowing he can’t stop you.

It was probably around 2am when you woke up, feeling thirsty after crying your eyes out. You squint your eyes, trying to make sense of the dark room and slowly made your way to open the door.

Your bedroom is directly faced to the livingroom and the moment you opened it, you made eye contact with the devil himself.

Seonghwa was silently flipping through the channels while he laid on the sofa looking tirelessly.

Fuck! You can’t just shut the door anymore and so you acted like nothing happened, you had to be quick.

You played off the small eye contact and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and looking for a bottle of water.

You bent over to look inside the refrigerator to really confirm that there was no more water. You then sighed in frustration as Seonghwa mumbled something. 

“Huh?” You looked up to see him waving a waterbottle. “Last one.” 

You gulped and almost choked on your barely existent saliva. “Give it to me.” You shut the refrigerator door and was on a mission to get that water. 

You tried snatching it away from his hands, but he moved it towards a different direction. “I drank it already.” He explains, but your throat didn’t give a shit about that.

“Okay and?” You swiftly got a hold of the waterbottle and succeeded in retrieving it. You downed that bottle like it was your last and finally exhaled after the last drop. 

You wiped your lips and looked down at Seonghwa who seems to be very quiet now.

You looked down and then realized that you were only wearing a t-shirt and panties, not even knowing how long Seonghwa must’ve stared at you.

Your eyes widened as your cheeks started to get warmer from blushing so hard. “Are you trying to tease me?” Seonghwa’s fingers run through his messy hair as he keeps strict eye contact with your lower body, sending chills down your spine.

The memories of what you guys did in that room starts coming back to you, unfortunately also bringing back the humiliation you felt after the girls asked Seonghwa to rate your kiss with that girl. You dropped the waterbottle down to your side as an obvious pout forms on your lips.

You then looked up at him and notice a hickey on his collarbone, further confirming that they made out once you were gone from Jongho’s house. You glared at the bruise on his neck and Seonghwa could sense your withdrawal.

“Did you guys make out?” Your mouth is saying shit before you can even let it process in your brain first. You internally slap yourself, feeling stupid for asking in the first place.

“What are you talking about?” Seonghwa seems to be taking an interest in your question and looks like he’s even enjoying it? 

“Seonghwa, you know who.” Your words slurred a little as you started playing with your fingers to distract yourself from his intense gaze. 

“Are you talking about when we were at Jongho’s house?” Seonghwa tilts his head and makes sure to do it in a way so that he would catch your attention. His whole existence makes you nervous goddamnit.

Silence prevailed as he waited for a response, pressuring you to nod at him helplessly.

Seonghwa lays back on the couch casually as he started chuckling and you were beginning to get impatient.

“What?” You responded with a little bit of attitude, because you don’t appreciate the way he’s handling this conversation.

“Kitten…” It’s that nickname again. You clearly know that he’s just saying that to lure you in, but the way it slips off his tongue so easily makes your body freeze in submission.

“If you stayed long enough you would’ve known that...” Seonghwa stands up from the couch and starts walking towards you, leaning downward so he could whisper in your ears, “...we didn’t kiss.” He leans away and you’re only a few inches away from kissing those lips once again.

You gulped at the sight of him, licking your lips discreetly, but Seonghwa’s watching you like a hawk so that scene makes him chuckle. However, you weren’t done with the conversation just yet. 

“Then what’s that.” You point to the hickey and Seonghwa looks down to see the mark on his collarbone.

Like okay, Seonghwa is a fuckboy, but you never saw him with any marks from any of the girls he had slept with. You have heard others say that he doesn’t allow hickeys because he didn’t belong to anyone. He wanted that message to be out and clear, but why would he suddenly have marks on his body? It didn’t make sense. 

Seonghwa gracefully touched the mark with his fingertips before grabbing onto your hand that was still pointing towards him.

“This?” He makes you touch the mark while locking eyes with you, never looking away once and you felt this urge of jealousy that was burning in your body. 

How could he make you touch a mark that was made by another woman’s lips? You felt so disgusted and grossed out so you immediately broke away from him. “I don’t want to touch something so dirty.”

“Oh…dirty?” Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow, staring at you in disbelief. He then breaks into a dry and dark chuckle that made your heart drop.

“These hands…” He once again grabbed onto your fingers, ever so gently, however you knew it was far from that.

“They should be considered dirty too then.” Seonghwa had a mischievous smile on his lips that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

“Why are you bringing my fingers into this? It has nothing to do with you.” You frowned and made sure to look at him confidently, not knowing where he was getting at.

“Really?” He asks once again and you’re starting to feel nervous, blinking multiple times so you can avoid his eye contact.

“You played with yourself with these little fingers of yours, no?” The smile on his face completely disappears as his eyes narrowed down on you, making you feel so vulnerable under his threatening stares as he put you on the spot.

You gasped, eye widening as sweat came dripping down your face. He’s not talking about THAT night, right? You breathed heavily as your eyes started shaking in fear. How would he know that? You remember correctly that you had left for your room already. 

“I see you recalled your actions.” Seonghwa licked his lips as he stared at your fingers intently, and it made your body burn in embarrassment. You hated how easily he could read you. 

However, your panties were getting soaked to every words that came out of this man’s lips every second. The control and power he had over your body was immense.

“Don’t turn this on me.” You defended with a wavering voice, but you knew he had already won.

“Oh kitten, you should’ve seen the huge mess you made in the bathroom that night.” Seonghwa runs his fingertips against your thighs, biting his lips sensually as he stared down on you.

“...how your cum was all over the toilet seat…” He then plays with the strands of your hair so gently, but you knew he could destroy you if he wanted to and the curiosity of it was slowly killing you.

“It was just inviting me to come….” Seonghwa’s fingers grabbed onto your chin as he stared down at your shaking eyes. “..and fuck you dumb.”

The only thing you can sense from him was lust and sexual desires as you tried to steady your breathing.

You only stayed silent under his gaze, not able to speak at all because it was the truth. You desperately needed him, you couldn't deny it. 

“You must’ve slept with your cunt dripping wet…” Seonghwa’s harsh words only turned you on even more as he began to pat your head nicely. 

“Lay down, kitten.” Seonghwa tucks your hair behind your ears as you obeyed his orders obediently, wanting him to destroy you already.

“Good girl.” He combs your hair with his fingers and swiftly takes off your underwear altogether as you hiss at the cold air hitting your heated core, shyly closing your legs. 

Seonghwa massages your thighs before slowly spreading them apart while keeping eye contact with you, “Don’t hide from me….”  He leaves a trail of kisses against your thighs while capturing the faces you make when you’re under his touch, it was driving him crazy and you didn’t even know it.

“Beautiful…” Seonghwa’s tongue gracefully landed on your inner thighs, sucking and biting the area…just abusing the skin as it turned into dark hickeys. 

“Hmm..” Your brows knitted together as you opened your mouth with a light gasp. It felt amazing, but it clearly wasn’t the spot you needed him and he knows that too. He deviously continues to suck your inner thighs before placing wet kisses to finish off the fresh marks.

“Seonghwa, I can’t anymore…please.” Your hips squirmed as he lifts his head up, making you whine at the loss of contact. “Here?”

He teases as his thumb makes direct contact on your clit, sending an amazing shock of pleasure through your body. 

You nodded at the feeling and Seonghwa continued to tease your throbbing entrance with light taps of his fingers only. “Hmmm!” Your thighs clenched, but he keeps his grip on you strong so you can’t close it entirely and it was driving you crazy.

“You’re coating my fingers so well, kitten.” Seonghwa whispered into your ears, further teasing you as you whined in response.

“Hwa…” Your hands flew to your throbbing cunt, trying to relieve yourself, making Seonghwa glare at your fingers. He quickly pins them over your head before pushing two fingers into your cunt unannounced. 

You gasped with pleasure as you started moving your own hips to match his pace. “So dirty…”

Seonghwa licks his lips and continues to watch you wither in a state of euphoria. “Couldn’t even wait patiently.” His voice was so deep as it echoed into your ears, but the problem was that he didn’t move at all. His fingers were now inside you, where you needed him most, but you were not satisfied. 

You whined at the lack of movement from his fingers and he loved how you squirmed so much for him.

“Hwa…I want you.” Your chest heaved up as a sigh of frustration and droplets of sweat fell down from your face.

“Yeah?” Out of nowhere, Seonghwa suddenly thrusts his fingers inside of you, making you moan but he doesn’t let that go on for too long because he quickly takes out his fingers from your entrance entirely within seconds, leaving you completely helpless…and empty once again.

“Hwa!” You're a hot mess, sweating and breathing harshly, at the mercy of Seonghwa’s godly fingers, but fuck! You want him so bad. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Seonghwa whispered slowly, sending chills down your thighs as your body shook at the sound of his voice.

His fingers then rub against your folds in a circular motion that’s driving you over the edge, you could hear the sound of your own slick that were dripping out of yourself.

You whined at the lack of touch despite you being so ready for him.

Watching you shudder in obedience was a sight Seonghwa could only dream of, but now here you were….at the mercy of his fingers.

“Can’t cum yet, kitten.” Seonghwa sucks his fingers one more time, making sure you watch him coat his slender fingers with his own saliva and inserting them inside you ever so gently. 

“Ahh…” you moaned, hands grabbing onto the sheets of your bed as your head shook from side to side, trying your best to stop yourself from climaxing because you wanted to prove to Seonghwa that you could last longer. 

His hands moved in a vibrated motion that made you tightened around his fingers, not able to hold on any longer.

“I-I’m going to cum!” You warned him before staring into his flaring eyes, full of passion and he gave you a nod.

“Cum for me.” He commanded and that was the last thing you remembered before letting yourself go and falling into your own state of bliss.

You breathed heavily, sweating all over your body as Seonghwa takes his fingers out of you, licking every drop of it, not wasting anything. 

“Fuck…” You whimpered at the scene of him cleaning his fingers from the mess you made and now you couldn’t wait to be filled up properly by him.

If he could make you feel this good with his fingers, how would it be if you two went through the whole process? You crave for more and become needier every passing second. 

“What’s with that look?” Seonghwa grabs one of your thighs and you couldn’t help but moan a little at the slight friction. You were determined to take him as you stared at him desperately, giving him the wide kitten eyes so he’d give in to you. 

“Ready for me?” Hwa teases while rubbing his sticky fingers against your folds, causing you to roll your head back in pleasure. 

Your hips start grinding towards his touch and it made him chuckle. “You want me to fuck you now?” You bit your lips and nodded at his dirty question, but of course Seong fucking Hwa was not satisfied.

He shakes his head as one of his fingers comes up to trace your lips. “I wanna hear you say it, kitten.”

Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow as your cunt continued to throb for him.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you pouted at him. “I…I want you Seonghwa…”

You barely managed those words when he grabs your jaw in one palm, pulling your face towards his as he tilted his head slowly.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” The only look he had on his face right now was stoic and expressionless. You wanted to satisfy him and so you could only gulp before making eye contact with him again. “I’m ready for you to fuck me now.” 

“Good kitten.” Seonghwa’s once cold features relaxes into a sly smile as he praises you and it felt encouraging to be acknowledged by him.

He takes you by your hand and you tilt your head in confusion, as to where he was taking you. 

“You want me to fuck you here?” Seonghwa says so casually that it brings a blush to your cheeks, making you look around the area to see that y’all were only on the couch. 

Not wanting to have your first time on a beat up couch, you nodded and followed him innocently.

He guides you to his room as he gently intertwined his fingers with yours before laying you down completely on the bed. “Seonghwa…”

“Hmm?” He hovers over your body and leans close to you so he can listen to what you have to say, sending butterflies to your tummy,

“I really want you…” You couldn’t look him in the eye and he wanted to assure you so he placed kisses on your face gently.

“Ready?” Hwa makes sure to ask one more time before proceeding and you wrap your arms around his neck, nodding for confirmation.

You could feel his tip at your entrance as he was rubbing it against your folds,  gathering your juices as your toes curled in anticipation.

Seonghwa pushes himself inside as your smaller hands grasped onto his, “Hmmm…” You moaned at the strange feeling, but it felt so right to finally be with him. 

Hwa slowly pushed himself inside even further, catching you off guard as you thought he was fully inside already.

Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he waited for you to give him the signal.

Seonghwa was so used to doing it however he wanted, but with you, he made you his first priority.

“Seonghwa…it feels good…” You barely let out as his full length was fully inside, giving your throbbing walls something to clench on.

“Fuck!” Seonghwa’s cock twitches inside you, causing you to slide yourself closer towards him and wanting more.

“Kitten, you’re squeezing me so perfectly.” He praises and you melted at those pretty words of his.

“This is mine.” Hwa demanded as he brought your legs over his shoulders and thrusts inside you sensually, sending you over the edge.

“Hwa! I-I’m coming!” You mumbled and were surprised to know that Seonghwa understood you.

He continued to thrust inside you at a fast pace, bringing the two of you to your climaxes. 

Your body shook in pleasure as the feeling of euphoria took over. Seonghwa grunts beside you, moaning in your ears as he spills his hot cum all over your stomach.

“Shit.” Hwa finally says after he realizes what he did. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask-“

You dipped your fingers in his cum and took a taste of it, out of curiosity. 

You licked it and upon tasting it, you make eye contact with him. Your innocent eyes and pure curiosity was killing him inside. He wanted to ruin your innocence if you’d let him.

It was then that you see the switch in Hwa’s eyes as he starts crawling over to you, hovering over your naked body.

“Only I can fuck you like this, got that?” Seonghwa cups your jaw with one hand and you start hiccuping, intimidated but also aroused by his presence.

“Hwa…you know I only want you-“ Seonghwa doesn’t waste any time kissing your lips and turning it into a small make out sesh.

Fuck. You’re scared that you might regret this decision later, but right now…all of that doesn’t matter because Park Seonghwa was holding you in his arms.

His hold on you was warm and cozy as you slowly drifted off to sleep, feeling nothing but warmth and love.

*A Few Weeks Later*

You were at a cafe chilling with some friends you made after getting paired up on a past assignment. 

“I’ve been so busy, I haven’t been able to check up on y’all!” Ari says after taking a seat beside you as the waiter came to take your orders.

“It’s fine! We’ve all been busy!” Runa responded, waving her hand in front of her chest as you nodded. 

“The usual?” The waiter asked, making eye contact with Runa as he smiled charmingly. 

Ari and you elbowed one another like little girls who were having fun teasing their friend who was talking to her crush,  snickering quietly.

“Yes…t-the usual.” Runa plays with her hair and you knew she was highly interested in this guy by the way she fluttered her eyes shyly.

“I’ll get a mocha latte.” Ari says, making the two of them break eye contact. You smirked and cocked an eyebrow towards Runa and you can see her face turning into the color of a tomato.

“And I’ll get a _____. Thank you.” You finished your sentence as he grabbed the menu from you and walked away.

The three of you immediately start giggling as Ari starts pressing for Runa to spill the tea!

“Excuse me? The usual?! Miss girl, how long have you been coming  here to the point where he can recognize you?” Ari shook her hands excitedly as you anticipated for Runa’s answer. 

“I just came by a few times because it’s right next to where I work.” Runa looks away as the both of you start chuckling in disbelief

. “A few times…” You sarcastically repeated after her and Ari shook her head with a smile. 

“We saw how y’all looked at each other.” You whispered to them both as the guy passed by to deliver the drinks for other customers sitting nearby.

“There’s literally nothing to explain guys. I just come here pretty often and he just…somehow remembers me.” Runa explains once more, shifting in her seat as Ari pats her head.

“And here we thought she was gonna be single forever.” You giggled at Ari’s comment as Runa starts to playfully act like she was gonna fight y’all.

“Here are your drinks.” The guy comes back as the three of y’all quiet down and thanked him.

You could see the lingering eyes he had for her. It made you wonder if Seonghwa could ever look at you like that too. Wishing how’d it be if Seonghwa only had eyes for you…..

“So what about you?” Ari takes a sip of her drink as the two of them shift their focus onto you, catching you off guard.

“H-huh?” You snapped out of it and looked at them confusingly.

“Do you have anyone you’re interested in?” Ari pressed on further as you can only blink blankly at her.

“Or anyone that you’re seeing?” Runa decides to join in on the fun now since it wasn’t focused on her anymore. Shit. How you wished you didn’t tease Runa about her and the guy.

You didn’t have the guts to say anything because you knew the relationship status of you and Seonghwa. You didn’t have the right to mention him because he isn’t yours….

“No one.” You shook your head quickly and took a sip of your drink, trying to look away to avoid any further questions.

“Y/n, you can’t lie to save your own life.” Ari jokes, leaning her body towards you.

“No, it’s just that you look much happier. Your eyes are glowing with a spark I’ve never seen before and you’re smiling a lot!” Runa adds, making you feel much more anxious because it made you realize that this relationship you have with Seonghwa would just be a phase.

You and Seonghwa never made it official. He never said anything and you didn’t want to press further because you were scared. You were scared that he’d drop you the moment you asked for confirmation. 

Without this solid relationship, you didn’t have the confidence to say that Seonghwa was yours. You couldn’t….

“Seriously guys, there is no one.” You lied once again, knowing that if you told them the truth they’d tell you to get away from Seonghwa and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

A few hours went by and the two of them were about to go home, waving goodbye to the both of them as they got into Runa’s car.

“Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” Runa asked one last time, worried that you’d be alone at night but you nodded, making sure that you’re fine.

“Yeah! I’m actually heading somewhere with another friend. See ya next time.” You waved at them and Ari waved back as Runa started driving away.

You lowered your hand that was waving towards them down to your side, feeling guilty and the pressure slowly seep in. 

After that night with Seonghwa, nothing has changed much…except that now it seems like the two of you were fuck buddies. 

He’d come home and y’all would talk and cuddle, then fuck. It was like a cycle. Neverending. 

After meeting with Ari and Runa, it really brought you back to reality. 

In the end of the day, you didn’t want to be used by Seonghwa. Even thought you liked him very much, you couldn’t continue to lie to yourself anymore.

You stumbled upon a bar and your feet just took you right in as you sat by the bar, ordering whatever was on the special menu.

You don’t remember how much you’ve drank anymore, you just kept downing cups after cups. 

“Y/n?” You hear someone say your name, but you didn’t give two shits at this point.

“Bottoms up!” You down the last cup on your hand and finished it all in one gulp. 

 “Yah! You’re gonna get drunk again!” The man takes away the alcohol from you, stopping you from drinking more.

“Who are you?” You looked at him and closely examined him, although the background looked hazy and blurry, you could make out who it was. 

“YUNHO!” You clapped happily and hugged him, dragging his tall body towards you from the neck as Yunho started choking.

He somehow unwrapped himself from your grabby hands and cuffed them together with his own. “Why are you drinking alone? What if someone just took advantage of you?” He scolded and you shrugged, trying your best to squirm away from his grasp.

“But you’re here now right? Just take me home like last time.” You pretended to gasp, making Yunho look over his shoulders and you took the opportunity to down another drink, wanting to just drown yourself in alcohol as you stress over the thoughts of you and Seonghwa.

“Yah! You sneaky little!” Yunho shook his head as you stuck out your tongue at him, making him have to step away and calm himself down.

“Let’s go.” He grabbed you and you didn’t really have the power to fight back. Even your body gave up on you, you knew you were tired and needed sleep.

Yunho opened the passenger’s seat and you climbed in, resting your head on the window as you hear Yunho get in.

“What is she yapping about. I didn’t take her home last time.” Yunho states confusingly before starting the engine. 

“Yes you did, stupid. During you party…”

“Why would I leave my own party to take you home, idiot.”

 “Huh!? But that doesn’t add up to what Jongho told me…”

“Well, I was going to take you home but Seonghwa just took you away stating that you both were roommates anyways so I figured that’d be fine.”

“So….you’re telling me I wasn’t dreaming?” 

*Flashback* Cue

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You were so shocked you almost became sober.

You literally confessed to Seonghwa, kissed him and….No wonder he was saying it wasn’t your first kiss at Jongho’s house. Everything was adding up.

You shook your head, covering your face out of embarrassment while Yunho tries to calm you down, but this only makes you think deeper. If you confessed to Seonghwa then how come he hasn’t made it official with you? Or said anything about it?

You mouth dropped as you tried to take your seatbelt off. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going back in-”

Yunho was tired of your shit so he sped up and didn’t let your ass leave till he reached your shared apartment.

The vision of the hazy road became blurry until it all faded to black and you were out.

A little while later, you felt a soft warm towel, gently scrubbing your neck as you slightly opened your eyes to see Seonghwa washing you off.

You gasp and immediately sat up, covering yourself as Seonghwa held onto your hand.

“Why didn’t you let me know that you’d be out so late?” His voice was so gentle, if you didn’t know him, you’d think he was the sweetest thing for asking this.

“I don’t have to.” You words were sharp and cold, emotionless because of your broken heart.

“Y/n, you had me so worried and you didn’t even answer your phone too.” Hwa holds onto your shoulders, making you face him but you could only look away.

“Don’t.” Your tears were threatening to all from your eyes as your breath became unsteady.

“Don’t say stuff like that when we both know that you don’t want me.” You pushed his hands away from you body and turned away from his gaze.

“What are you talking about? I do want you.” Seonghwa kisses your hands, giving you his big pouty eyes. However, you knew in your heart that he doesn’t mean it like the same way you do.

“I don’t want to only be used by you.” You break away from him, folding your arms in your chest.

“I want to call you mine and be yours only. I don’t want to have to share you or compete with others to get your attention.” You finally turned towards him, feeling the confidence to look up at him as you were stating what you needed.

“I want a relationship where I can confidently tell others about. I want us to be a conversation where we can see a future within. Not something that’s just in the moment.”

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed sadly as he gave you the most sorrowful look you could imagine. That breaks the wall to your heart as tears start falling down from your eyes.

Fuck. You knew it. He didn’t want to commit to this relationship. You covered your eyes as silence prevailed, nothing but only an embrace?

You looked up to see Seonghwa wrapping you in his arms, tightly holding you so close. “I’m sorry if I ever made you think that way.”

Seonghwa grabs you by your cheeks, kissing your tears away as he whispered sweet nothings into your ears. “It’s my fault you’re thinking that way. I should’ve told you I love you.”

You looked at him taken aback and unsure of it all. Seonghwa kisses your forehead before settling on holding your hands. “I thought you were already mine from that night.” 

Seonghwa picks you up by wrapping his hands around legs, right under you butt cheeks, laying you back on the bed.

“I was already in love with you, Y/n…”

“The way you’d get up in the morning with only a shirt and panties. It always drove me so crazy….” Seonghwa kisses you, placing your hands beside you.

“The way you’d giggle over the stupidest thing I’d say…It was the cutest thing.” He plants kisses on your cheeks once more and you felt so showered in love and attention.

“But why didn’t you say anything….” You asked, a little bit bothered on why he kept your drunk confession a secret.

“It was cute seeing you get frustrated over a hickey you made.” Seonghwa laughed and your eyes widened. 

So he’s telling you that YOU were the one to made that hickey on his neck? AND he let you?!

You squealed a little as the confirmation from the hickey made you realize that he had let you in his heart from that night you confessed to him already. 

You finally took the initiative to peck his lips shyly, making him smile mischievously. 

“That was barely a kiss….” Seonghwa teases and you knew that from now on you could rightfully call him yours.

“Mine.” You touched his luscious lips before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him more properly this time..knowing you had all the time in the world.

“Love you. Kitten.” Seonghwa places a kiss to your forehead, making you smile like it was the best day of your life. You’re so fucking glad Seonghwa found out what you did that night.

Although, it started out as an embarrassing secret…it led you two to be where y’all are right now. You couldn’t be more grateful.

“Now go to sleep. I’m taking you somewhere tomorrow!” Seonghwa puts you to sleep, but you got too excited upon hearing that.

“Where are we going!?” You sat up, eyes widening as you waited for his answer.

Seonghwa chuckled before patting your head gently, “It’s a secret, my love…..”

The End!!!!

A/N: Please re-blog or heart it for my motivation, they really help! I also appreciate reading your thoughts and reactions as well, so don’t be shy and message me or comment them down here! Love you lots!

Sorry if I forgot to tag you. >_<

taglist: @hwalysm @spiderrenjunfics @eastleighsblog @jenotation@yunhofingers @s3onghwaswifey @justineasian @woosmaid @heycozy @luvly-wy @han8ul @singabeat1 @s10an @heycozy @luvly-wy @han8ul @ethicalz @mayosgrises @seonghwasstar @kyeos4ng @hwaseongstar @normal-girl1 @knisterlicht @lilactiny @ateezourstars@seonghwarizon @miaaa127 @skz-jisoo @seung-hwa @jhmylove @dandyboyseungminnie @hwadngseok @mahsora @chonsayeosang @kpopnightingale @sookacc @wannabekris @eastleighsblog @sup-dallyboy  @legohwa  @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @hiimdorylol @becauseiloveyunho @horizonmoonfics @hongjoongslut @be-ll7​

[marianchurchland]

I'm boiling inside my own flesh after that trailer, so please accept this old, maybe objectively too creepy Cole drawing while I find time for new DA art. I can claim that it has a Haloween vibe, at least...

The reason it's so weird, by the way, is because I drew it using the poem "Wodwo" by Ted Hughes as a prompt. My bff @klovharun gave me the whole poetry book at the height of my DAI obsession because she thought "Gog" had Solas vibes; and it occurs to me right now that this has to be one of the best examples of friendship ever. Not just "I was thinking of you", but one step further, "I was thinking of your all-consuming fixation". She also made a Solas breakup playlist for me, which I still listen to. That is love!

Poems below for anyone who might like them.

Wodwo

What am I? Nosing here, turning leaves over

Following a faint stain on the air to the river's edge

I enter water. Who am I to split

The glassy grain of water looking upward I see the bed

Of the river above me upside down very clear

What am I doing here in mid-air? Why do I find

this frog so interesting as I inspect its most secret

interior and make it my own? Do these weeds

know me and name me to each other have they

seen me before do I fit in their world? I seem

separate from the ground and not rooted but dropped

out of nothing casually I've no threads

fastening me to anything I can go anywhere

I seem to have been given the freedom

of this place what am I then? And picking

bits of bark off this rotten stump gives me

no pleasure and it's no use so why do I do it

me and doing that have coincided very queerly

But what shall I be called am I the first

have I an owner what shape am I what

shape am I am I huge if I go

to the end on this way past these trees and past these trees

till I get tired that's touching one wall of me

for the moment if I sit still how everything

stops to watch me I suppose I am the exact centre

but there's all this what is it roots

roots roots roots and here's the water

again very queer but I'll go on looking

Gog I

I woke to a shout: 'I am Alpha and Omega!'

Rocks and a few trees trembled

Deep in their own country.

I ran and an absence bounded beside me.

The dog's god is a scrap dropped from the table,

The mouse's savior is a ripe wheat grain—

Hearing the Messiah cry

My mouth widens in adoration.

How fat are the lichens!

They cushion themselves on the silence.

The air wants for nothing.

The dust, too, is replete.

What was my error? My skull has sealed it out.

My great bones are massed in me.

They beat on the earth, my song excites them.

I do not look at the rocks and stones, I am frightened of what they see.

I listen to the song jarring my mouth

Where the skull-rooted teeth are in possession.

I am massive on earth. My feetbones beat on the earth

Over the sound of motherly weeping....

Afterwards, I drink at a pool quietly,

The horizons bear the rocks and trees away into twilight.

I lie down, I become darkness—

Darkness that all night sings and circles stamping.

-Ted Hughes

[antianakin]

Happy fix-it AU where Padme leaves Anakin anyway because she realizes how bad he is for her, and she ends up retiring because she REALLY doesn't want to be a Senator anymore (it was also maybe encouraged by her Queen after her secret marriage to a Jedi was discovered) and she goes back to Naboo to be with her family. She's left behind her responsibilities but she doesn't know what to do now, she's just... adrift, sort-of in limbo and mourning her relationship with Anakin. She has to keep convincing herself not to go back to him because she KNOWS she doesn't want that anymore, she KNOWS she doesn't want to be the person she was with him again, but the thrill of the secret marriage to someone who was so passionate about being with her is also sort-of like a drug.

Her parents both offer to let her come help them in their respective jobs, but she doesn't really have the energy for that right now. She DOES like helping Sola with her nieces because their energy and innocence seems to be a balm for her heart. One day, Sola asks if Padme can take the kids to a local festival in Theed one day while she and her husband go do something else, and Padme agrees. The girls are old enough and Theed is safe enough that they can wander off on their own away from Padme as long as they know not to go TOO far and come back to her after a little while. As she peruses the different artwork on her own, one artist's work stands to her more than anyone else's, it just hits at the core of her and she's not even sure why. She stands in front of a painting of a bird in flight for what seems like hours, though it can't be more than a minute or two, before the artist himself comes over to speak to her.

He addresses her as Senator Amidala, and she quickly tells him that she's not a Senator anymore and she doesn't really want to go by the name Amidala either, she prefers just Padme these days. He agrees, and something about him, maybe his eyes, seems familiar but she can't quite put her finger on it. They talk about his art for a while and everything he says about his inspiration feels like it's speaking directly to her. Eventually, Pooja and Ryoo come up to her and start pulling at her hands, demanding that she come see something with them. Before she leaves, she finally realizes she didn't even know his name and asks him.

It's Palo. The first boy she'd ever loved. The last time she'd seen him she'd been twelve in the Legislative Youth Program. She knew he'd left politics to become an artist instead, but she'd never actually seen any of his art before or ever tried to get back in contact with him. Now she wishes she had. Pooja and Ryoo are still pulling her away so she doesn't have time to really get over her shock at this revelation before she has to leave him behind and someone else comes up to ask him a question in her place.

He shows up at her parents' door the next day with the painting of the bird she'd so adored, and offers it to her as a gift. He refuses to accept any payment for it no matter how much she insists, but asks if she'd be willing to take a walk with him instead. She agrees. They end up spending the whole day together, just talking. For the first time, Padme doesn't feel like she's drowning in her own feelings or floating with no direction. She feels a lot like she's finally come home.

[theheraldsrest]

Hey! I really really love your blog! If I may request, during downtime, how would the members of the inner circle react to find the Inquisitor drawing/sketching them?

“Companions react to Inquisitor drawing/sketching them”

After our *cough* little thing with Bull, let’s have some fluff, shall we? Thank you anon for the ask!

-Lord Lex

Cullen

“You did this? It’s certainly…it’s…how did you even…it’s amazing.”

-So surprised, no words. It makes him feel a little special that you’d choose to sketch him but also very embarrassed. In return, he tries drawing you. Might not be as good and there are a few rough sketches that were thrown in the fire, but he wanted to return the favor. 

Josephine

“Oh! Look at the detail and the softness! I wouldn’t have even thought it was me from how stunning it is!”

-Absolutely gushing over it. Josey’s always had a fascination for the arts and to be the subject of the piece from someone close to her? Adores it, even asks to keep it. She has it tucked away in one of her favorite books. Will always compliment your art even when talking to dignitaries.

Leliana

“I commend you on your artistic talent. Though, I’d ask you not to sketch me. Perhaps one of the ravens would make better practice?”

-Like Josephine, Leliana has an eye for art. She loves looking at the little details in your sketches and finds it a surprise that her face is amongst the papers. As much as she appreciates it, she’d rather her face remain a secret. She is your spy master, after all. Though, if she becomes Divine, she keeps the sketch as one of her favorite pieces of her. 

Vivienne

“Darling, as much as I’d like to say you're wasting your talents by leading the Inquisition instead of honing your skills, you are equally talented in both. Most usually fail to make me look this stunning.”

-It might not show on her face or in her words but she loves it. Several times people have been commissioned to paint her yet none come even close to your level of detail. More points if it’s of her smiling or laughing, the lines on her face as well as the wrinkle around her eyes gives her a sense of…normalcy. If she becomes Divine, she commissions you to do her portrait, no one else.

Varric

“You drew me? I think that’s gotta be one of the scariest pieces of your art I’ve ever seen! When you're done, can I keep it?”

-Though it doesn’t sound like it, he brags about it constantly. Even when he’s making fun of his slightly crooked nose or how his eyes might seem smaller than other dwarves, he’s complimenting the skill you put into the very minute details of his face. Varric will try to pay you for it even if you refuse, later trying to commission a drawing of Hawke when they come around.

Cole

“Oh, it’s me! Not really, but it’s Cole. But you’re trying to draw me…I can still remember his face, then.”

-He’ll stare at it for hours, his shoulders down. It’s been sometime since he’d been able to see his own face, forgetting that he even had a face. To see you draw that face, the real Cole, just from looking at him makes him happy. Will ask to look at it every now and then, just to make sure it’s still the same.

Solas

“I must say, you are quite talented and steady with your hands. It does allow others to see how the artist sees. You certainly make me seem…at peace.”

-From one artist to another, he gives you high compliments with very few complaints. It is unusual to see him drawn in such a way since he’s so used to seeing only the mosaics. He meant to get rid of it when he left the Inquisition, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Cassandra

“Inquisitor, though your craft is very beautiful and I admire how you can make these pieces, I must ask you not to sketch me.”

-Don’t get her wrong, she loves seeing your sketches but it’s mostly out of formality (and somewhat embarrassment) that she asks not to be your subject. If she becomes Divine, it’s one of the only pieces she prefers over the paintings. Though she does ask you, if you have the time, to draw something for her. When you give her a perfect picture of her brother and her, it’s one of the few times she truly hugs you.

The Iron Bull

“Holy shit. I’m alright when it comes to sketching, but you make it look pretty damn easy while so complicated! You even got my scars and the detail on my patch! Damn, boss!”

-Bull is used to doing quick sketches, usually of small details to make sure he could track someone or to remember something easier. Never had he really seen himself drawn so picture perfect that it completely baffles him. He looks at all the details with a smile on his face.

Dorian

“I can’t believe you managed to get my good side! In all honesty, though, this is remarkable. And not just because it’s me.”

-He had studied some art pieces before and never really found any he liked, but he has now found one of his favorite artists. Constantly asks if you’ve done any new pieces just so he can look at the heart that goes into them. Ask if you could teach him to sketch as such so that he can add better drawings to his research notes.

Sera

“What the fuck! That’s me! How the fuck! How did you do this! You even got my eyes to be lined up! How the hell did you do that?!”

-We all know Sera’s drawing style. She keeps saying the same things over and over again because she’s at a loss for words. Except for cuss words. Along with the rooftop hangouts, she insists that you two just draw together sometimes. Some of the goofiest drawings come from these times, especially one of a cartoonish Coryshit falling from a very detailed tower.

A little speech bubble near it says “Oh shit, I shat myself!”

Blackwall

“I…I’m honored to be one of your subjects. Not to blow my own horn, but this looks stunning. You really are something special, hm?”

-Blackwall has done a lot of sketching himself and finds your art a breath of fresh air. Other than looking at bits and pieces of his reflection, he usually tries to avoid seeing himself. So when he sees your drawing of him, he almost doesn’t recognize himself. You both trade sketches of each other just for fun and even sketch together.

[original-person]

First post on here let's go!!

SFW the only warning I can think of is argument?

I had a thought that made me want to try and write something with scaramouche

is probably gonna feel ooc? I don't think I know his character that well so most of this is based on what I deduced from YouTube videos and such.

BEWARE I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING OTHER THAT WHAT SCHOOL FORCED ME TO. ESPECIALLY SOMETHING WITH G/T IN IT. (I've used chat gpt to check gramatic mistakes so if anything blame the damn ai)

If you don't know what g/t is just search up giant/tiny

Note:I think this idea fits sagau soooo-

Angst and hurt/a little bit of comfort

Summary: you invite scara to your realm of solace (your room) to rest. Maybe you should have mentioned that you have another form besides your mortal looking one.

Scaramouche was sitting in his chair next to his desk, working on documents. His hand moved with the pen, the scribbling lightly echoing in the almost empty office. It would have been empty if not for you, looking out the window, staring at what used to be the sunset, now a starry sky.

You moved from the window towards the desk and behind the chair. You hugged Scara loosely around the neck and slowly rested your chin against his shoulder. He stopped his movements to not mess up the writing, put the pen down, and slightly turned his head to you.

"Is there any particular reason you're bothering me?" he asked, his tone irritated. Ignoring his tone, you knew he didn't mean it anyway, and you let out a tired sigh. "Didn't you do enough work already? You should rest." He scoffed, turning his attention back to the documents. "I don't require rest as humans do, and you know that. Besides, I'm not done yet."

Looking at the pile of papers, it seemed like it was going to take ages. "Well, I would have less if you knew how to do your own paperwork." Ah, you said that out loud. "But still, can't it wait? I want to be with you." Burying your head deeper into his shoulder and wrapping your arms tighter around him, Scara let out a sigh and put his hand on his forehead. "Great, Archon forbid you aren't with me for some time."

You stood up and sulked next to him. Scara furrowed his eyebrows and let out a big, annoyed sigh on purpose as he leaned back into his chair before getting up and stretching. Cracking his hand, he did feel sore, but he wouldn't tell you that. Jokes on him, you noticed anyway, and you lit up instantly with an idea popping up in your head.

The god glanced at their partner with a gentle, adoring smile. “Scara,” they said softly, reaching out their hand. “I’d like to show you something special.” Scara turned to them, crossing his arms. "What is it?" "That's a secret," you put your finger on his lips, "but it is going to help you rest."

Curiosity piqued, Scaramouche closed the distance between you, grasping your hand gently. "I somehow doubt that." You raised your other hand, and with a simple gesture, the air shimmered, and the room began to change. The familiar surroundings melted away, replaced by a realm—your realm. The realm unfolded like a dreamscape, an infinite expanse of tranquility that seemed to stretch on and on. Soft, ambient light bathed the surroundings in hues, creating an otherworldly pleasant glow.

Scaramouche almost forgot you were a god. Nowadays, it feels okay again, but it reminds him of when he first found out. Oh, how he felt betrayed. He felt worthless, only a mere plaything for you. But you assured him that you didn't see him that way. That you didn't come to Teyvat, to him, just to play god. No, you just wanted to experience it from their view.

“Welcome to the realm of solace,” you said, as he snapped back to reality from his thoughts, your voice resonating with warmth. The ground wasn't surprisingly smooth; rather, it felt like he was standing on a pile of pillows that seemed to shift subtly with each step. “This is a place where reality bends to offer peace and comfort. It’s where I retreat to find solace sometimes from the world.”

Scaramouche’s eyes widened in awe as he took in the sight. The atmosphere itself seemed to slowly wrap around him like a warm blanket. “Not like anything you’ve seen,” you continued with a hearty chuckle. “I also go here to sleep every night, so I guess that makes it my bedroom."

Scaramouche, still absorbing the strange beauty of the realm, nodded slowly. “It’s... incredible,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Guess I don't need to doubt you anymore.”

As you settled onto the bed? Ground? Its softness enveloped you, your presence reassuring. “I hope you find it as comforting as I do,” you said, scooting a little closer to him. Scaramouche took a deep breath and let his body relax, trusting in the promise of solace, staring at the seemingly endless, changing ceiling that looked really far away. The gentle hum of the realm lulled you slowly into a deep sleep. For Scaramouche, the comfort was otherworldly, a stark contrast to when he sometimes tried to rest before, as he was quite sensitive to any sounds. But as he began listening to your light breaths, he found himself falling more into a deeper sleep.

As the night wore on, you, feeling an unprecedented sense of comfort and trust with Scara next to you, unconsciously began changing to your godly form, as you always did when you slept here. The change was seamless and silent, but it had an immediate impact on the bed's dimensions. Scaramouche stirred half-asleep, his eyes fluttered open, pushing down on the ground to sit up. His eyes widened in confusion as he glanced around. The realm's soft glow seemed to dim slightly, reality seeping back in as he noticed the absence of your familiar form beside him. Was he really sleeping so deeply? How?  Looking to where you were supposed to be, what he saw made him spring up in caution. Your comforting presence beside him had been replaced with a colossal figure, one that he did not recognize. Panic surged through him, and he bolted upright, his instincts screaming at him to run.

"Who—where?" His voice was a frantic whisper, his body trembling as he quickly turned his head in every direction for you. You were here with him, right? Where are you? Where did you go? Those thoughts were repeating in his mind that he didn't notice the slight stir the figure made.

You were drowsy, but sensing discomfort from Scara, as this realm allowed you to, you tiredly opened your eyes and saw him turning around, looking everywhere, before he felt eyes on him and locked eyes with you.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Scaramouche couldn't see you anywhere, and to make this considerably worse, the giant figure woke up, looking straight at him, looking almost at his very being. He felt his blood freeze in his body; he didn't think that was possible. Not wasting another second, he turned and sprinted. Can he even outrun it? Where is he running? Where are you? His breath is labored; it's hard to run on this plushy surface, almost falling at every step.

Your senses were flooded with Scaramouche's fear, and you reached out instinctively. He shouldn't be scared. Your hand, as gentle as it was large, moved towards Scaramouche to soothe him, to bring him back closer to you. But to Scaramouche, it was overwhelming.

Scaramouche’s mind raced as he stumbled, desperately trying to escape from the towering figure that had replaced the comforting presence he once knew. His heart pounded, not just from fear, but from a deep-seated sense of helplessness that he had tried so hard to bury. He hated feeling like a mere doll, a puppet whose strings could be pulled with little regard for his autonomy. The sensation of being so utterly powerless, so at the mercy of someone else, triggered memories—memories that he wishes he could forget. Memories of his early days, when he was first created and learned of his true nature. Back then, every interaction had seemed to confirm his worst fears: that he was nothing more than a plaything for a god's amusement.

The plush surface beneath him, which had seemed so inviting before, now felt like a trap, each step a reminder of his vulnerability. As he tripped, he cursed under his breath, the bitterness of past betrayals mixing with his current dread. “No, no, not again...” he muttered, struggling to get back on his feet.

You, now fully awake and aware of the distress you had caused, stopped in your tracks. Your hand hovered as you weren't sure what to do now, though intended to comfort, the hand seemed to loom over him like an ominous shadow. “Please, don't run,” your voice echoed softly, trying to cut through his panic.

But for Scaramouche, the giant form was a stark and terrifying contrast to the familiar person he had come to trust. The overwhelming size of the hand, the massive gesture, only reinforced his feeling of being a puppet caught in a storm of uncontrollable forces. He had always loathed the feeling of helplessness, of being manipulated—that's why he became a Harbinger, after all—but this situation exacerbated those fears.

"Scaramouche," the figure called, their voice resonant and soothing, but it only heightened Scaramouche's panic. Scara's eyes widened in terror as the god’s enormous hand reached towards him. Instinctively, he struggled, wriggling against the closing fingers that covered him. The sensation was overwhelming; the figure’s hand, though surprisingly gentle, felt like an inescapable force.

Your head hurt. Your senses were overwhelmed with fear, the opposite of what Scara should have been feeling. "Scaramouche," your voice was firmer now, hoping to break through his panic.

“Let me go!” Scaramouche shouted, his voice strained as he tried to free himself. His breaths came in short, panicked gasps. His mind raced with so many thoughts, memories, and fears.

Knowing you should listen, to give him at least a little bit of sense of control, you brought your other hand to the one holding him and slowly opened it, fearing he might try and jump off. Scaramouche felt his stomach flip as he was turned around in the hand. As the hand opened, Scaramouche, now on his knees, looked up, feeling forced to. He once again locked eyes with you. His violet eyes, usually sharp and filled with defiance, were now wide and vulnerable. They blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of tears that threatened to spill. Each flutter of his eyelids was a silent struggle to hold onto reality and calm his racing thoughts. The blinking slowed, but his gaze remained intense, flickering with a mix of lingering fear and desperate hope.

You slowly lifted your hands, your eyes softening with guilt almost to the point of tears. "I'm so sorry, Scara." Recognition dawned in Scaramouche's eyes. He froze, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "You—what...?" Confusion consumed him.

The confusion quickly morphed into anger. Scaramouche’s eyes narrowed, and he clenched his trembling fists. "Let me down," he snapped, his voice rising. "Now."

You flinched at the sharpness of his tone, setting him down. He took a few cautious steps back, guilt weighing heavily on you. "I didn't mean to scare you," you said softly. "I thought it wouldn't matter—"

"Wouldn't matter?" Scaramouche cut you off. "How could something like this not matter?" His voice was sharp, cutting through the tranquility of the realm. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? That I wouldn't care? You... you lied to me!"

"I didn't lie," you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill. "I just... I didn't know how to tell you."

"That's a lie by omission," he spat, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Scara, please," you reached out a hand, but he flinched away, anger flashing in his eyes.

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, taking another step back. "How can I trust you now? What else have you been hiding?"

The guilt weighed heavily on you, the pain of his mistrust cutting deeper than any blade. "I never meant to hurt you. I only want to protect you."

"Protect me? From what?" His voice was a mixture of anger and hurt, a rare vulnerability showing through his usual bravado. "I don't need to be protected!"

"I know you don't," you said softly, "I'm sorry. I should have told you." You took a deep breath to calm your growing headache and began focusing to slowly form back into your smaller self.

Scaramouche watched as you shifted back, the process like one big fluid motion. His anger was still simmering but mingling with hurt. "You should have," he said as you took slow steps towards him, giving him some space. His voice was quieter but no less intense.

"Let's go back, Scara," you said as you looked at the ground in shame. Scaramouche looked at you, his expression hard but conflicted. "Fine," he muttered, not meeting your eyes. "Take me back."

You nodded, lifting your hand as the realm dissolved and his office materialized around you, the air thick with tension in the small space. Scaramouche immediately walked over to his desk, his movements tense and agitated.

You stood by the door, watching him with a heavy heart. "I'm going to get some fresh air. I'm truly sorry for all of this." He didn’t respond immediately, his back turned to you as he gripped the edge of his desk, his knuckles white. After a moment, he spoke, his voice low and strained. "Just... leave me alone for now."

You nodded, though he couldn’t see it. "Alright..." With that, you turned and quietly left the room, closing the door softly behind you. Outside, you leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. The pain of his mistrust still weighed heavily on you, but you hoped that, given time, he might find it in his heart to forgive you. You pushed back against the wall as you paced back and forth, your mind equally chaotic. You couldn't help but replay the events over and over, wondering how you could have handled things differently. The weight of your guilt was overwhelming, but you were determined to make things right, no matter how long it took. You started walking towards the exit, ignoring everything around you as you walked.

Inside the office, as the minutes ticked by, the silence was deafening. Scaramouche's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He hated feeling this vulnerable, this betrayed.

Scaramouche sat down heavily in his chair, his mind racing. He was furious, hurt, and confused all at once. The revelation of your true form had shattered the trust he had painstakingly rebuilt with you. He didn't know how to feel, but he knew he needed time to process everything.

BONUS

As you walked down the hall, your mind still reeling from the confrontation with Scaramouche, you barely noticed Tartaglia approaching from the opposite direction. Usually, you would exchange a few words, but today you couldn’t muster the energy.

He lifted an arm in greeting. "Hey, comrade, are you—" You didn’t even glance his way, storming past him without a word. Ajax furrowed his brows in concern. He stood there, watching your retreating figure. Something was definitely off. He had never seen you this upset before. You were one of the few who seemed cheerful every day.

Curiosity and concern gnawed at him, so he decided to head towards Scaramouche’s office. As he approached, he could hear the furious scratching of a pen on paper, punctuated by occasional grunts of frustration. Ajax frowned, pressing his ear to the door, trying to make out more.

Inside, Scaramouche’s anger was palpable. His pen moved with a fury that seemed to match the tempest in his mind. Ajax pieced together the situation, concluding that you and Scaramouche must have had a serious argument.

With a sigh, Ajax stepped back from the door. He knew better than to intrude on Scaramouche when he was in such a mood. As he walked away from the office, he instead decided to find you and see if there was anything he could do.

I  Honestly hope this is okay I've been writting since midnight to 5am

[baddestbittyontheblock]

alessia russo fic recs (1)

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

🍓。·ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍒。·ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍓。·ﾟ♡ﾟ･🍓。·ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡🍒。·ﾟ♡ﾟ･🍓

𓂃 ✿ make me yours my love (cause you’re nobody to me, yet somebody to me) alessia russo x reader | fluff (tooth-rotting fluff)

𓂃 ✿ remember that night? alessia russo x reader |

-part 2 to i’ll wait forever 

𓂃 ✿ return alessia russo x reader |

-in which; alessia broke up with you three years ago to focus on her career, breaking your heart completely, eventually you see each other for the first time since your breakup once you join the lionesses for a last minute call-up- and there's a whole lot of unresolved feelings.

𓂃 ✿ the end alessia russo x reader |

-one with alessia russo where the reader suffers a career ending injury

𓂃 ✿ sleepless nights alessia russo x reader |

-when lessi can’t sleep without any kind of physical touch but r gets hot easily & when they’re on holiday r can’t sleep if they cuddle but less can’t sleep when they don’t touch

𓂃 ✿ will you love me 'til the end of time? alessia russo x reader |

-alessia leaves for aresenal, she leaves behind manchester- she leaves behind you.

𓂃 ✿ you belong with me (i belong with you) alessia russo x reader |

-moments of lessi and her girl (you) through the years

𓂃 ✿ meanie alessia russo x reader |

-headcannons about meangirl less as a gf!

𓂃 ✿ alessia blurb alessia russo x reader |

-lessi would be the type to love the fact that she had a wag girlfriend because she could finally designate her waves and kisses to someone in the crowd.

𓂃 ✿ countdown alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ time management alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ co-dependency. alessia russo x reader |

-surprising lessi with multiple cheek kisses at a time

𓂃 ✿ good morning sunshine alessia russo x reader |

-reader being an early bird but less having none of it, whenever she wakes up without reader she goes downstairs asap and just is whiny that she can't get her morning cuddles

𓂃 ✿ alessia day alessia russo x reader |

-tooth rottingly soft self care days with star girl

𓂃 ✿ i'm tired of lovin' from afar (and never being where you are) alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ 'cause you used to be a part of me (now you're only somebody) alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ you don’t have to be sola (you don’t have to be here alone) alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ head over (tar) heels. alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ Falling for me... literally? alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ We're a team. Always. alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ "come to bed" alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ poke alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ twelve alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ alessia x leah x reader blurb alessia russo x reader | leah williamson x reader

𓂃 ✿ evening alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ in safe hands alessia russo x reader |

-the fans are speculating on the nature of your and alessia’s relationship. when the rumours come to a head, it begins to put pressure on you both. (goalie!reader)

𓂃 ✿ white lies alessia russo x reader |

-five secrets alessia could keep (and one she just couldn’t)

𓂃 ✿ are you flirting with me alessia russo x reader |

-Things that Alessia Russo is good at: football, looking like a goddess, taking your breath away by simply existing.

Things that Alessia Russo is bad at: staying upright, flirting.

𓂃 ✿ price tag alessia russo x reader |

-When Manchester United sign you for big money, it takes you a while to settle in. Luckily you have Alessia by your side to help you overcome your worries that you’re not worth the price they paid for you. 

𓂃 ✿ fangirl alessia russo x reader |

-alessia old tweets reappear of her crushing one the reader

𓂃 ✿ sleepwalking alessia russo x reader | a little angsty

𓂃 ✿ possession obsession alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ thirst tweets alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ cookie clicker alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ love lasts alessia russo x reader |

-They had won the euros, you watched as some of them cried and others celebrated but all your focus was on her.

𓂃 ✿ silenzio bruna alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ lessi's sunflower alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ drunk in love alessia russo x reader |

-fell in love with drunk lessi and it became a fic

𓂃 ✿ number one fan alessia russo x reader |

-you play football and she comes to all your games.

𓂃 ✿ jumpscare alessia russo x reader |

-Would it be possible for you to do a fic where the reader goes for one with alessia but a really scary one?

They can be going to the escape room as a date or as friends that have been secretly in love with each other?

𓂃 ✿ alessia blurb alessia russo x reader |

-DANCING IN THE KITCHEN WITH LESSI WHILE ITS RAINING OUTSIDE

𓂃 ✿ ‘cause all that you are (is all that i’ll ever need) alessia russo x reader | some angst and some fluff

𓂃 ✿ Alessia fic alessia russo x reader |

-Mapping out your lover's features while they sleep in your arm, smoothing your thumbs down their cheeks, throat, collarbones, chin and nose.

𓂃 ✿ teasing alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ butterfly alessia russo x reader |

-Brody Armstrong once said: "When you meet someone for the first time, that’s not the whole book. That’s just the first page" and she’s totally right. When you first met Alessia you didn’t know that quote, you could barely speak let alone read but over the years, when got older, you started to understand it. The day you met her, the first page was written and your story began. Now, Alessia and you have been together for 9 years, 3 of them married and it‘s still not finished.

𓂃 ✿ alessia blurb alessia russo x reader |

-house hunting in saint albans with Less, finding the right house and then r and less just having a moment at the front door where Less just is quiet and looking at the interior r hugs her from behind and Less is a bit homesick and stuff but r invites tooney and joe round without less knowing to make her feel more at home

𓂃 ✿ i know that you love me (even when i lose my head). alessia russo x reader | fluff

𓂃 ✿ the striker and her wingman. alessia russo x reader

-nervous lovestruck lessi >>

𓂃 ✿ the wrangler alessia russo x reader | leah williamson x reader

-less and Leah and reader thruple blurb. both the blondies are injured but being their stubborn selves refuse to take it easy and non football player reader is like pulling her hair out trying to wrangle these two ADULTS who are being like whiny children and refusing to do what she asks

𓂃 ✿ kiss me through the phone alessia russo x reader |

-a face time with alessia would be like whilst she’s in Australia and the readers at home because of work. Full of fluff and them just happy they get to talk to each other after a hard day, saying how much they miss each other

𓂃 ✿ passenger princess alessia russo x reader |

-Alessia and reader are in a relationship and come into training arguing about something that the team can’t figure out

When asked reader simply replies with “I’m NOT a passenger princess”

𓂃 ✿ 1 - but she loves me, she loves me. alessia russo x reader |

-series masterlist

𓂃 ✿ finalist alessia russo x reader |

-World Cup fluff. Alessia has no idea you're on your way to Australia to surprise her before the final.

𓂃 ✿ 2 - why the hell she love me alessia russo x reader |

-series masterlist

𓂃 ✿ not meant to be alessia russo x reader |

-in which; alessia's girlfriend is always there for her. always.

𓂃 ✿ intruder alessia russo x reader |

-when you wake up to a strange noise you begin to freak out. So you wake up your girlfriend and you both go to speculate. Who’s in your guy’s home?

𓂃 ✿ chance encounters alessia russo x reader |

-you and Alessia meeting in Ibiza and she’s got the hots for you but you play hard to get? but a cute happy ending where they eventually get together

𓂃 ✿ alessia blurb alessia russo x reader |

-After coming home from work/a long trip, finding your lover sobbing on the couch/in bed after a hard day, wiping away their tears with soft touches and gentle words--trying to convince them it's okay, and that you're there for them now.

𓂃 ✿ everyone thinks that they know us (but they know nothing). alessia russo x reader |

𓂃 ✿ toilet paper party alessia russo x reader |

-some tooth rotting gf lessi fluff to try and cure all of our post game depression, with a dash of supportive best friend and arsenal icon lotte wubben-moy ofc