#just that he doesnt have anger issues and his frustration is pretty much always justified

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

people keep reblogging this with "one of the only ones" no. stan and kenny and most everyone else operate under "idc what cartman does. not my problem. let's ignore him" meanwhile kyle operates "how does no one care??? how am i the only one who sees how wrong this is? why does everyone just let him get away with this???" my point still stands

Kyle doesn’t have anger issues he’s just the only one with a brain and common sense in a town full of lunatics

[n0rdicalien]

Little rant

Dear Diary

Lol

Yea well here is the stitch. I called out someone for what I felt theyre being a hypocrite. Theyre interest in social issues, and their view is generally really good. But theyre insensitive as fuck, and socially awkward themselves. I mean we are all in our own way. But this guy has just always represented as some kind of angry hostile mood even if he doesnt mean it. But after hanging out I see a general scheme of different treatment in comparison to the 2 others I hang out with. And it didnt make me feel good.

For the past couple months since middle of illustration class. The circle of friends that I was part of I felt like was unintentionally pushing me out the group. The experiences were like...

- Profoundly being cut off from contributing to discussions. Like forced interjection over me when I talked. 

- The discussions became very abrasive it was very discomforting. Like loud because everyones talking over each other. ANd I just shut up when people get the loud. It was claimed that I did similar but Im pretty known for having a soft voice. ANd I am generlly very good at self critiquing. I wouldnt feel like this if something didnt feel off.

- I felt totally disregarded when making suggestions. Kind of felt motivating disconnection because no one wanted to take part in common interests. Everyone said they enjoyed video games. But they didnt care less. They all enjoyed drawing and art. But almost everyone was feeling a drought. Except me and Angry boy.

- Distance made it a struggle because we only mostly got together at school and after. But on non-school days. It was far to expensive for me to drive out to them on my budget; literally could only afford drive back and forth to school. And it turned into hang out at your own convenience where it was like minus me. They didnt want to drive out to me unless i bitched about it where hanging out down where i live made me feel guilty. I got really triggered when they went to a fucking museum without inviting me. 

- One of the three I felt doesn't like me because i felt treated different in comparison to the others. Which is the person I identified as a hypocrite. Doesn't practice what he preaches and is totally insensitive. When the other 2 were going through their artist drought. He bitched about it, regressed, and openly self-talked people had issues. It really grossed me out. Pretty frustrated about it and made me have a different perspective of him.

--- We were carpooling to a coffee shop and the dude acted like he was stuck with me in my car. He sat slouched and tried talking to him and it was just incredibly awkward and unwelcoming. He texted on his phone which is cool but like just trying to chat casual, but he expressing a bit of anger which people say “He just does that” but he was totally different when we got to the place where everyone was at. It bummed me out.

- One of the three was more friendly with the lady of the group and it just made me feel like I was being treated differently.  The other non-angry guy in the group feels a bit disconnected too but he doesnt care to elaborate. 

- I was called out i think a couple times for identifying when a dude was cute (Literally just cute) but when this Angry boy was dick thirst as fuck blatantly sexualizing men. NO ONE SHAT ON HIM. And I was made to feel like crap for simply saying a guy was cute.  Angry boy was hypersexual as fuck and it bummed me out so much which justified my feelings that i was being treated differently.

Couple weeks ago I distanced myself because it was just exhausting I didnt feel like any of these people were my friends even though I care about them. I felt lonely in a crowd kind of thing yaknow? It was kind of unnecessary.  Though it seems like this group of people was slowly disconnecting? And some people felt disconnection after I left our group chat the first time. Which was after are last big hangout where i determined distancing myself was maybe a good decision.

I expressed concern to these guys but it just was like “Im starting drama, pointing fingers, youre insecure how do you know?” type nonsense like my integrity of myself and my observations were at stake because i felt like there was a problem between me and them. It wasnt even about acceptance or anythign but like this blatant lack of consideration where im just like an extra. I felt like a fucking extra in a group of friends i thought i was mutual with and it didnt feel okay. 

A lot of shit with my now ex. Hes like my friend now but like i been sick for the past 2 weeks and he doesnt get i cant hangout right now.