#just that I am violent sometimes whoops

[moralchampion]

I'm not a violent person but I would kill for Marco Reus

[samarecharm]

Bouncing off my bi ryuji awakening post, im gonna add these tags from it: (separated to make it easier to read)

[#anyway. akira is the guy ever. and ryuji is exploding#‘i have died. badly’#i like thinking of akira like this; hes ryujis first exposure to nb ppl and gnc adjacent stuff#even if akira is p masc by most standards hes still got a bit of. aloofness. about his gender stuffs#ryuji is just really into the way akira carries himself#and it takes him a while to go oh. oh i think its cause i like this dude#um.#😳.

#also i wanted to clarify#but ryujis mom just doesnt know Who akira is in that picture#and in my head hes like. looking down at mona and petting him (while sitting)#(AND hes with ann and theyre both kind of a distance away from the camera)#so at a quick glance; hes just Some Girl#and even though shes wrong; it kicks off the mental chaos olympics in ryujis head#‘what hes not a girl’ to ‘where would she even get that from’ to ‘well akira said himself he didnt rlly care what ppl thought about it’#to ‘well. where DID she get that from?’ to lookin at what his homie does a little closer to ‘aw fuck. man.’#but i love that for him

#ALSO. RYU/GORO IN TAGS…..#but ryuji going oh my GOD oh my godddd 😨😓😓😓 when something clicks in his head about goro#his voice is so practiced and naturally softspoken and his public facing persona is very demure#and once he gets past the initial anger over goro being a pompous prick who shittalks about the thieves. hes like. god fucking dammit.#There Is A Pattern and A Type He Has and Its Killing Him To Realize it.#hes literally sitting in his room w his head in his hands]

Ryuji definitely finds Conventionally Attractive Girls pretty, but he realizes around postgame that he genuinely formed crushes on THREE people; Akira, Makoto, and Goro. And all three of them are people who carry themselves as a bit Soft and Delicate (akira and makoto w their personality and mannerisms, goro w his appearance) while also being deceptively strong. Yusuke WOULD fit into this but hes only strong in the metaverse. Also if u tried to argue that he still finds yusuke pretty, Ryuji would just say ‘yeah duh? Of course???’ and would not elaborate further.

I just think. Its cute 👉🏾👈🏾 Ryuji loves someone whos pretty and capable of knocking him flat on his ass lmao He LOVES a challenge and he likes that they can all challenge him in different ways.

Akira is way stronger than he looks; hes very toned and he used to be quite active before being shipped off to tokyo. And after fighting in the metaverse, hes gotten way better at using an enemies mass and momentum against them. Yeah he can properly knock someone down, but its way easier to let Ryuji charge him and use that momentum to sweep and pin. Which Ryuji remembers vividly for Weeks. Akira is not allowed to spar w him and Makoto for awhile after that.

Makoto is just strong as hell. But shes very defensive, and extremely patient. ‘Ill wait and see before I decide What to do’. Shes got good reaction timing and its hard to catch her offguard. Its very difficult to disorient her so oftentimes, his spars w her are more about endurance. And if he ASKS her to do so, she’ll actually fight him back. He never wins 😭 but she is very patient w him and she doesnt treat him like an idiot. She likes to give him tips and redirect his strengths to make up for his weaknesses and it makes him a bit warm in this chest

Spars w Goro are just fun. Theyre fun! Goro is way more aggressive and reckless than Makoto and Akira. He is looking for openings near constantly and Ryuji has to either keep up or tank hits. Its very. Engaging. For him. Sometimes he loses and Goro is giving him a look so smug, Ryuji wishes he could kick him in his fucking teeth (something he clearly couldnt do bc hes already been knocked flat on his ass). And sometimes he wins, and hes so shocked and HAPPY about it; he doesnt miss the way Goro looks away from him pouting like a brat (‘no fucking way are u POUTING man, what a sore loser 😭’). Goro and his uptight personality is thrown out the window completely and its so fun and refreshing to see. Hes tall and imposing w broad shoulders and toned arms and if Ryuji is staring, he finds himself immediately distracted when Goros cheerful, softspoken voice asks if hes willing to go another round.

I love it 👉🏾👈🏾 Ryujis got a complicated relationship w violence but it helps to have people he trusts engage with it in a way that doesnt make him feel like some brute. Theyre all kind of itching to beat the shit out of things for multiple reasons, but instead of taking that out on each other, they spend time training one another so that they can beat the shit out of OTHER things better. Its an efficient system 😊

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Alright, we've had Nuzi headcanons. We've now had Vuzi headcanons... Let's heart it, you're Violent Biting Biscuits headcanons, N x Uzi x V... Or if you'd rather complete the set, eNVy headcanons. I am curious of both. (Your headcannons are just super cute)

Holy hecc, I'm so sorry for answering these asks so late but i'm gonna be honest- I just never think anyone likes my writings or ever reads them XD

okay then lets see- my ViolentBitingBiscuits headcanons- i will put eNVy for the next ask because someone else asked for it too and they wont all fit here lol.

My NUziV headcanons ovo<3 :

[once again these are only the drone versions, the human versions aren't involved / also i may add some 🔞🔞🔞 ones this time lol >:3 also uhhh apologies in advance but this one is long as all hell so....um]

K we know the drill, they are all together- hopefully in the future- even if any of them dies i'm gonna pretend i do not see 🙄 deadass gonna treat this like the jjba fandom- my faves are ALIVE AND WELL SHUT UP ARAKI-

Okay so there's some things that we have already mentioned in the previous headcanons- ill try to not repeat them unless they are necessary but ill also try to treat this as its own post and lightly repeat them real quick too-

N and V started out fighting over Uzi, and Uzi obviously was mostly into N at first- but after a while i guess Vs advances got to her- especially since she was- in a way- so desperate for attention/affection, so it felt a little overwhelming to her but in a good way. they very obviously flirted with her which got them silently treating it as a challenge- and Uzi being Uzi obviously loved the attention she got out of it- opting to let this just... kinda continue lmao. she didn't expect to let it go far enough for her to end up with both of them but here we are XD

We slightly touched this topic before about V but to reiterate- all of them have different levels of trauma that they all deal with and currently V has gone through the worst of it, both having to endure Cyn's torture in her mindspace and also having to watch N get slaughtered in front of her and possibly even having a hand in it. She fears losing people that mean to her so she became avoidant with a difficult personality to guard whatever's left of her. It took a really long time for her to decide to be with the two and to protect them and not run away from her feelings for anyone or anything. but some days its still difficult for her so sometimes N and Uzi have to literally trap her into a wrestling cuddle pile or something to get her to just... exist, without feeling like the whole universe is weighing her down. N and Uzi want her to know they are there to protect HER from those inner demons too.

sometimes the cuddle piles end up with N and V once again trying to get Uzi's attention lmao which ends up with them being a little too horny on main- whoops :) - everything starts with a little nibble here, a small bite there - maybe some pillow fights and climbing over eachother or holding one another down in different positions- aaaand then they wake up a few hours later with Uzi having regrets cuz these two are horny as f-

ANYWAY- N is probably the most patient of the 3, and although he usually never breaks up fights because he trusts the other two to handle their own problems without him needing to mom them, sometimes Uzi and V go a lil too far and he gets very tired of dealing with this kind of behavior. he never blows up at them- but he usually goes away to take a breather- sometimes hanging out with Thad or the other drones- and during this time Uzi and V kinda feel bad- but then they would think of stuff like maybe planning dates or getting food for him, draw stuff on cards and etc- or go around trying to find gifts to make him happy<3 sometimes they might add some extra kisses and unwinding sessions in the end as an extra treat :p N always forgives them obviously, he just needs some guys night out every once in a while or something lmao-

Getting close to Uzi became an excuse for N and V to get closer to eachother too. ironically, it first started with them bantering about who is better at what- but then it turned into unironically flirting and teasing eachother- but after a while they realized their relationship isn't going to ever be the same as what it was back in their old days but its also something completely new, so they become more willing to accept one another and explore their newer dynamic.

they all love being coddled and pampered every now and then. Uzi and V may not outright admit it- but they really do too. so they take turns with who they put in the middle of receiving affection :p

N and V are VERYYYYYY over protective of Uzi. to the point that they wouldn't even let the doctor [for tech repair obviously] check Uzi or touch her in any way when she had a small virus case lol. Khan had to pay the poor doctor extra for that.... deciding to leave his daughter in her room in a cuddle pile of two murderous demons that have glowing cat eyes every time he comes in the room smh.

V and N really like cuddling Uzi and sticking their hands under her clothes. or sometimes just flat out sleeping or cuddling naked. its less of a sexual thing and more so to do with the fact that the two MD's have higher body temperature and a less efficiant body for cooling- since they have a more compact torso and a lot less oil and coolant fluids going through them [since they need to consume it continuously] and having a bunch of working nanobots and nanites shoved into them to turn into weapons/wings/etc- and Uzi- although having the AS- is still very much less in need of cooling due to still having a more efficient body design for a "exoplanetary worker unit", with a still functioning cooling system inside that doesn't necessarily need extra oil to make it work unless under stressful conditions.... even if she probably does have worms and fleshy tentacles inside her now lmao. But either way Uzi's body is still a lot colder than the others so she's usually shared in the middle and at this point Uzi cant even be embarrassed when they slide their hands under her clothes and grab her wherever smh..... although V also does it as a semi possessive thing so there's that pfft. she was especially handsy after that doctor left XDDD.

Yes Uzi has very much in fact ended up at the medical/tech repair unit multiple times because N and V have sometimes ended up being a bit too much for her to handle- and the doctor [a character yall shall meet later] has absolutely had it. She had to literally sit the 3 down, explain to them their body differences via scans and the damages they may cause Uzi and it was basically the robot version of having "the talk" with your child- and Uzi wanted to die there and then.

Uzi sometimes just tells the two to drink blood from her- the first time they wanted to share oil they were scared about accidentally causing Uzi to overheat- but after a few times of trying it, they continued doing it more frequently either by kissing and regurgitating or taking turns to bite Uzi or vice versa. N and V typically don't use one another's oil because they already have high usage as it is, it wouldn't be efficient. admittedly N and V always have concerns when it came to biting Uzi- but somehow they found out Uzi actually enjoys it a little when they do it and well...they get ideas lmao- they just make sure to lick her indents clean with their regenerative saliva to make the AS work as little as possible on Uzi's body.

N really enjoys seeing his partners smooch..... for study purposes ofc lmao- actually he uses his visor to take pictures sometimes- let the man be a little horny in peace smh. and don't worry Uzi and V know all this- they just wanna tease him a little bit :p

Uzi and N usually chit chat while they are in the bed until they fall asleep- but V prefers to just hug Uzi on the side listening to them while they talk until she falls asleep too

they love going around in human based areas with shops and stuff to find books to read together or any other fun human stuff they can find- maybe table top games? lol- V goes for the sports stuff. she kinda wanna try hitting something with a bat...

[okayyyy so tumblr doesn't let me write any more XD i def have more ideas but oh well. also ill save the eNVy for another ask that i have in my inbox so you'll get that soon too :p]

[alittlebitofloveliness]

I’ve always loved the idea of Buck accidentally developing a fatherly relationship with Dallas because imagine being a Cowboy kinda guy in the 1960s and finding some rat stealing from your pantry and then whoops, that’s your new son! You’re stuck with him! You love him and you will be gutted when he inevitably gets himself killed because no one can take the wild out of an animal, especially not you and you are very aware of this!

I'm not going to lie, with all the awesome headcanons and lore being created about Buck I am SUPER conflicted about my take on him. I think having him act as a fatherly or older brotherly figure to Dallas in an alternate universe would add some really interesting depth to his character and offer a bit more insight into his motivation for doing and saying certain things. HOWEVER, that said, I think within the canon universe I couldn't really ever see Buck that way and there's a few reasons for that. For one, in the little we see from Buck we know that he displays none of Dallas' gallantry, and that he's weak. Canon Dallas would abhor that weakness, and we know he uses it to his advantage, bullying Buck to get what he wants. Even PONY knows this is a hallmark of his character as he 'bullies' Buck into going to get Dallas after Johnny stabs Bob. We also know that Dallas has a dad that wouldn't care if he died and that it 'doesn't bother him'- I can't see canon Dallas forming a father/son bond with someone only a few years his senior, or really anyone at all (remember, it was the Curtis' MOM he was canonically close to, not their dad). Finally, if we establish Buck as a fatherly/brotherly influence in Dally's life we lose some of the 'shown not told' elements of his character. Dally lives alone in rented room in a (heavily implied to be) illegal bar at seventeen years old, and he is stuck in this dangerous environment BECAUSE he is entirely self sufficient and has to take care of himself. Dally living at Buck's has always been (in my eyes) a way to further establish him as wilder and more dangerous than the rest of the Curtis gang and Tulsa hoods.

SIGH. Now I'm done yapping I can explore the fun world in your ask because it really DOES offer some fun headcanons/character work. Sooooo, here's some headcanons:

-Buck is (as we know) a cowboy, and he first establishes a connection with Dallas because he just unconciously treated him like a horse he was trying to tame and lo and behold it worked

-Dally only rides in the rodeos because BUCK talked to the higher ups and got him a chance at the position. It made Buck even more mad when Dally wouldn't help him fix the races

-Buck isn't sure if Dally is completely sane because he's seen one too many violent outbursts or mental breakdowns but it doesn't bother him much, because there's a lot of folks from the east side who aren't completely right in the head. What DOES scare him is the look in Dally's eyes sometimes when he pulls out his switch

-Dally is the only 'tenant' of Bucks that Buck ever drags back to their room when they pass out drinking at the bar (Dally is convinced he's just good at taking care of himself when he's blackout drunk. He isn't, but Buck isn't gonna be the one to tell him.)

-Buck looks out for Johnny because Dally looks out for Johnny, and Dallas might go full crazy if anything happened to the kid

-After Dally died, Buck hosted a party that lasted three days and nights until the fuzz finally shut it down (it was easier to drink and party than to think about the blond haired asshole Buck had grown to love)

-Buck is the only person besides Johnny who ever saw a softer side of Dally, and it wasn't because Dally was soft with HIM but the hoods' eyes were calm and his face almost happy whenever he went with Buck to the stables to groom the horses

thanks for the ask xx

[saruman-the-silly]

hi hi hi! i see your requests are open💕

would you be able to do some headcanons for the papas with an s/o whose love language is acts of service and sometimes won't even let them do a thing because they feel as if they aren't showing much love? eh, i don't know. then again, just a request and totally okay if you don't want to write it! much love <3

hellloooo yes absolutely :D and thank you for the request!! <3 - I added some abandonment issues for the reader whoops (it just seemed to fit well this whole thing and yall know me, I love me some fluff with a sprinkle of hurt/comfort)

Headcanons: Papas with a s/o whose love language is acts of service

Primo:

He's a big sweetheart. Of course he will appreciate it when you bring him a calming cup of tea when his back pain is flaring up.

Primo would most definitely start to question it, when you all you seemed to do was kind things for him, and not accepting the same treatment for you.

One day, when you were in the garden with him, picking some raspberries while he was tending to some roses, he decided to ask you about it.

"Amore, I appreciate all the nice things you do for me, but why don't you let me return the favour?" You mumbled something quietly, so Primo gently asked you to repeat it.

"Well.. I guess I just want to prove my love to you so you'll stay with me. I really do like doing things for you, seeing you smile makes my day a lot better." The poor man was baffled by this, why would you need to prove your love to him?

Primo would assure you gently but firmly that there is no need to prove your love to him, you being there is enough. He would reprimand you for thinking he would leave you for anyone else, Primo is old and has loved you for a long time, that ain't happening.

Secondo:

Secondo's very confused.

Like, baffled. He isn't used to anyone doing nice things for him. (Which of course makes you wanna beat Nihil's ass because fuck him and his shitty parenting)

You do so much for him, and while yes, he grows to appreciate it you two are probably gonna argue about why you aren't letting him return the favour.

"OKAY- okay.. I want to do nice things for you to prove to you how much I love you. And because I like doing nice stuff." Secondo's mask of seriousness and no-bullshit drops right then and there.

He wraps his arms tightly around you, squeezing you while whispering something in Italian to himself. You're not sure if it's a prayer or a curse, or maybe both.

"Dolcezza, you do not need to prove yourself to me." He struggles to say anything else, so he kisses you. Secondo pours all the love and appreciation into the kiss, making you realise how much this man truly loves you.

Terzo:

Any of the Emeritus brothers are not really used to nice things being done for them, but especially Terzo. (Nihil was always the hardest on him, which makes you have violent thoughts whenever you see his miserable, pasty ass wandering around the ministry)

Terzo puts on a charismatic playboy persona to hide away the insecurities, so you doing kind things to him makes him fall in love instantly.

He, at heart, is a romantic so he drops the playboy persona and begins to do kind things for you as well.

You object, but Terzo is very, very persistent. It kind of turns into a funny competition of who can do the most kind things for one another.

In all seriousness, after having fun for a while he sits you down and asks about it.

"I feel like I need to prove my love to you because I'm afraid you will find someone better." Terzo tears up at that, and envelopes you in a hug.

"I am sorry I made you feel like this, you are more than enough for me amore," he sobs in your arms.

The two of you would just cry together, getting it out, and then you would have an honest, good conversation about your relationship.

You would do something fun after all that serious talk, like a movie marathon or prank Secondo.

Copia:

Like Secondo, Copia would be very confused at first. No-one has been as kind to him as you were (after hearing that you replaced Nihil's hearing aids with m&m's - he's old as shit and now he can't bother anyone but himself)

Copia loves you. Like, not just because you were kind to him but once he gets to know you? He adores you.

All the kind things you do for him? He appreciates you so much, because as we all know, Copia is drowning in his work because he's a sweetheart who can't say no if someone asks him to do something.

All the coffee you brought into him late in the evening, the little notes of encouragement you left on his desk, he loves and appreciates you so much for it.

That's why he was so confused when you confessed to him that you're afraid of him finding someone better than you.

Copia drops to his knees in front of you, tenderly holding your hand in his.

"Il mio amore, la mia vita, do you have any idea of how much you truly mean to me? You are my treasure, treasure I shall hold with gentle hands and dear to my heart, because I cannot imagine a world without you in it."

You cry (oh come on when he drops to his knees in front of you and gives a speech like that?? I'd cry as well lmao) and Copia wipes gently your tears away, smiling and then kissing you gently.

------------------------

Hope you enjoy <3 and again, thank you for the request, it was really fun to write!

[bradassholemajors]

Wtf Is Shock Treatment’s Deal? (Or, Local Critic Discovers Escapism and Having Fun In The Midst of Late Stage Capitalistic Dread)

Watched Shock Treatment for the first time this week, and I am a changed man lol. Here are some disorganized thoughts:

I think something that makes Rocky Horror so special is that it can be as deep or not-deep as you want it to be. Like, if you want to think about the cultural implications of the themes portrayed (hedonism, gay & trans liberation, gender roles, the Invasion-of-the-Body-snatchers style infiltration of outside queer forces, the downfall of the safety contained within a collective identity), you can absolutely do that! There’s so much to be interpreted there!! But if you are just here to see Tim Curry looking incredibly sexy and violently thrust along to the Time Warp at a midnight showing with a bunch of cool strangers, that is absolutely awesome, too. Slay!! Take what you want.

BUT SHOCK TREATMENT MANNNN??? Shock Treatment is a whole different ballgame lol. Like, it is also a thematically rich goldmine, if you’re willing to squint a little— in terms of content included, not necessarily how it’s portrayed within the narrative. In the words of Barry Bostwick here, “it was a statement about the future that we weren't quite ready to explore. We didn't really even have the mental emotional vocabulary to understand what Richard [O’Brien, the creator] was trying to say.” I think this is spot-fucking-on!!! It’s absolutely frighteningly prescient, especially today in terms of the commodification of mental health. Like, woah. Janet being crowned “Miss Mental Health” felt like such a Gwyneth Paltrow moment. Cultural prophet Richard O’Brien saw the dark cloud of Betterhelp and wellness culture galloping over in the horizon in the distance of the American landscape, and he set out to warn us.

I still don’t quite understand what happened in the movie. I still don’t know what my takeaway was supposed to be. And I guess if you’re a little insane and love having fun doing thematic analysis with weird media (like me), taking Shock Treatment seriously may be right for you, lol. But thematically overall I think it’s safe to say: it’s a lot less coherent than its predecessor. It’s messy. It’s not interested in being flawless. It’s not interested in appealing to an audience. It’s barely interested in being a sequel. Shock Treatment is lowkey pointing and laughing in the face of those who showed up expecting a masterpiece— which admittedly was me, because I take Rocky Horror pretty seriously. (I put off watching Shock Treatment for a while bc I wasn’t sure about how it would affect the Rocky Horror Universe I had in my head.) If not for the internet reviews prepping me, I would have walked in completely expecting another nuanced perfect symphony of a movie to measure up to Rocky Horror’s magic.

But the thing was? Watching Shock Treatment, it ended up I did not really care!!!!! I was having the time of my life!!!!!

(more under the cut whoops)

Wtf was going on!!!!!!!!!!! Who knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still don’t quite know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I loved it!!!

This reaction of such joy, just letting myself vibe out made me think because when did I start getting surprised when watching a movie is more pleasurable than not??? Isn’t that the entire point of media??

I think with the modern commodification of media analysis and examining pop culture up close, I’d argue that Fun Media without a message is actually pretty hard to come by— at least in mainstream culture. Even stuff as sanitized as Disney movies are now digging into like generational trauma, appealing to what seems to be a collective search for depth (or at least the appearance of depth.) Modern neo-nazi brands of fascism wields power like never before, horrific images of violence follow everyone left and right. Sometimes it seems like this open secret, that everyone knows there’s this looming darkness at the forefront of our minds at all times.

So this transition from Rocky Horror to Shock Treatment felt actually sort of powerful to me. Rocky Horror’s generation-long reverberations of shamelessly depicting sensual revelry are so powerful; it’s bold even for today! (Of course, we all know transvestite isn’t a term commonly used today, but looking at it through the lens of its time, it becomes clear what a miracle the movie is. Knowing what it must have meant to queer people at the time it became a phenomenon— giving them a real space to be themselves in a hostile world criminalizing who they were, in a time of oppressive pressure to stay silent — that is the type of brave blatant acceptance hard to come by in any era.) Rocky Horror is something I don’t know if will ever happen again, and its sequel seems to concur.

Shock Treatment has been called a cash grab but I beg to differ. If you’ve seen it, no offense: but does this seem marketable to you??? It seems like it’s a Richard O’Brien project (already wacky) that went through several levels of development hell and heavy modifications through the creative process. Said with the utmost respect… it may have got away from them a bit. Put lovingly, Shock Treatment lowkey kinda sucks a little at times. It’s silly, it’s got a huge cast and musical fun galore. It’s serving B-movie realness. I don’t say this to bash on it, I say this with a bemused respect— I think the existence of Shock Treatment is as much a miracle as Rocky Horror (aren’t all creations???)

So in the first iteration, we have advocacy and fighting for freedom for those long silenced… but also, Shock Treatment seems to allow the creators to just let themselves have fun. Aren’t they both revolutions in their own right? Does everything have to be lasting cultural milestones or does our enjoyment matter in the moment? I’d argue we need both as human beings to thrive. It comes back to that Rocky-Horror-experience philosophy I covered where you’re taking what you feel you need most from the media you consume: a message or a celebration of just being here.

In conclusion, sometimes shit doesn’t have to be that deep. More movies should just say “fuck it, we ball” and give you the most absolutely incoherent fun time of your life. I love not taking things seriously, and I love creators willing to not take their work seriously. Perhaps Richard O’Brien also had a premonition with Shock Treatment in the sense of how he just had fun with it! Maybe we need less attempts at masterpieces and more attempts at just creation for the joy of it— or both, because joyful creation makes masterpieces!!! I’d love to see more creators of every skill level and every background, known and not known, say fuck you to capitalism and expectation and marketability and just say, we’re gonna do it anyhow, anyhow!!!

[chibishortdeath]

I got a new sketchbook since I filled one recently :3c. Shout out to suddenly getting a ton of energy and drawing bizarre fanart at 1 am 💀💀💀.

I’m putting the more violent ones under a cut even if the post is already tw tagged because of the subject matter being a bit dark d(^^ ).

Along with explanations for all of them of course!

⚠️tw for self harm and burning past this point⚠️

First one (before the cut) is just some pose practice. Simon’s just sitting, all sad and mopey. There’s also a little chibi doodle of him in the bottom corner and a little pose armature in the top corner for a pose I didn’t even end up drawing whoops lol. I feel like I drew his face a little differently than I usually do in this one :O. Idk how that happened lol.

This one is to show the differences in anatomy between each game! The curse takes a lot out of him, poor guy, so he’s a bit less jacked than usual 😔. Well, more specifically he doesn’t have as much of a layer of protective fat anymore. And he’s also very tired :(. But yeah, this is just a reference I’ll look back at to keep this detail consistent! I was going to put scar reference on it too, but I completely forgot and eh it mighta made it kinda hard to make out anyway d(- - ).

I drew this side profile of Simon while watching a video talking about lost media stuff. I think the image I based it on was something Saki Sanobashi related, idk I just liked the vibes of the hair being blown back by wind and got inspired :). And yes I know that Saki is probably a hoax 💀💀💀💀💀, I didn’t have much interest in it tho tbh, besides just hoping something lost gets found in general. Lost media videos are honestly great for putting on as background noise when drawing :)

Simon is totally me when I have a crisis and cover my face with my hands, but make sure one eye is visible and miraculously out of shadow for dramatic effect!!!

Ok spookier stuff time, first of the below the cut drawings. This one is based on how sometimes vampires are depicted as being able to drain someone from long distances or beyond the grave. Dracula is mean, and Simon is suffering from the curse, the usual. Augh I actually need to do things cause I keep thinking of a cool scene of Simon having a weird Dracula nightmare and then waking up to see it wasn’t a dream, and that’s tropey as hell, but it’s spooky!!! Do you see my vision?

This is a depiction of like what happens with a game over or something :O. Like an absolute worst possible outcome: Simon dies and Dracula is unsealed and fully regenerated. I basically just took is Simon’s Quest design and then rehydrated it and tada, Dracula is no longer a skeleton— He ends up looking way more like Vlad the Impaler in this outfit hmmm. Also, unrelated, but a friend of mine mistook Dracula for Jesus in this drawing 💀💀💀.

Oh boy, edgy depictions of uh a lot of not being very kind to yourself themes. Idk how else to describe this one other than ya know when you get really mad at your past self for making a mistake or the wrong decision that you could’ve only known about in hindsight? Also in part the fear of actually becoming a vampire at the end of all of this? And I guess a bit of feeling like it’s your own fault, you’re the one that keeps shooting yourself in the foot, but I feel like he’d also attribute getting hit by Dracula in the first place as his fault too… hmm just a lot of very sad things going on, this one was definitely a later 1 am time drawing, maybe 1:40 or something. I think what I draw at night is further proof to not trust you when you’re tired; I get weirdly existential at night and then it’s totally fine in the morning. Simon! Just sleep! Stop overthinking!!! You’ll be ok!!!

This one I debated putting up at all cause it’s graphic and not finished (TwT ;). But it was a rare drawing of Simon smiling that didn’t look uncanny, which is kinda ironic because Simon this is not the time to be smiling—! That is also wayyy too far for just the Dracula ritual, you really only need a tiny amount to open the seal, but I’ll cut him some slack cause he is a bit at wits end by this point. I’d say maybe he’s smiling because he thinks he finally won, but tbh I thought of it more like when things are just so bad you start laughing. Like Dracula just rose from the altar and the morbid irony of it all is just so absurd, the irony that you did everything right and fought tooth and nail (Dracula’s to be exact lol) to stop it and here it is happening anyway. I wanna give this guy a weighted blanket and a bowl of warm soup—

These last two are based on what could’ve happened to him. The Grey ending is pretty much usually considered the “worst”, but they’re all nearly interchangeable, especially in the Japanese version. For example: the western release really makes the Blue ending seem like he died and didn’t kill Dracula, but it’s a lot more that he just died doing it in the original, which is to say that it’s kinda like the Grey ending just with a different eulogy— Anyway, the Grey ending is the only one that doesn’t show Simon at Dracula’s grave, so I’ve always taken it as he didn’t make it out of the castle basement. And well, setting Dracula on fire is a pretty common way to kill him so uh um, R.I.P. I’ve got a couple ideas for alternate comic endings to say the least. I might honestly just depict all of them and leave it entirely up to the reader which one happened because it doesn’t change much— Though this also has me thinking of how him surviving would work now. The curse would definitely have left some lasting effects, you don’t just magically stop having been rotted, sleep deprived, and whatever else it did. Idk I picture him being like Renfield levels of lost it afterwards if that makes sense… that could also be a pretty solid explanation for why his story isn’t told correctly and the cycle repeats with Maxim later; it’d be a pretty traumatic thing to talk about tbh. Ok but yappersvile over, next doodle 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Aside from the burnt doodle that’s uh same explanation as the above (R.I.P.), the other two are just a little head angle and expression practice and one tiny one towards the top that’s Dracula being all spooky ghost vampire, but I didn’t like how it was looking and gave up on it 💀💀💀. It’s very hard to draw a vampire attacking someone and not have it look kinda awkward or unreadable. Tbh I struggle putting two characters in one image anyway because I have to draw the anatomy lines for both of them and they end up getting really hard to tell apart when one is behind another, one character suddenly isn’t proportional compared to the other, or you find out one of them isn’t tall enough for the pose you had in mind (>~< ). So anyway Dracula was accidentally way too short all of a sudden and I couldn’t figure out how to draw his torso without making a completely incomprehensible blob behind Simon oof.

Okie, it’s lunch time, bye :3!

[mysticmellowlove]

I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING FOR MORE ANDREW N JAMES OH MY *GOD*

YOU ARE A MAGIC MAN,,

a/n; i am so tired this shit wack

warnings; yandere males, gn reader, cliffhanger whoops sorry

James was playing around with a small pocket knife when Andrew came bursting through their front door. The wood had collided with the wall in a resounding bang, one that nearly made James nick himself with the blade. His head whirled over to the door only to see Andrew kick his boots off violently, uncaring of the marks they had left on the wall. He seemed to be in a fury, his muscles straining under his shirt.

"Hey, what did the wall do to you." James' eyes narrowed, he knew that he would be the one to clean up after Andrew after all. The other male looked over at him, his mouth set in a sneer as he disregarded him and stomped off to his room like a petulant child. James scoffed, he was never good at maintaining his emotions after all. He grew bitter the more he thought about it, why should they have to deal with such an insolent boy when James could be everything they ever needed?

His actions were weird though, concerning even. Despite their rivalry whenever Andrew had a problem he loved to rant about it, sometimes for hours. This time though he had kept quiet. James looked in the direction that he stormed off to, his bedroom door was shut...

He sighed and grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened up the chat he had with them, if there was anyone in the world who knew what was wrong with Andrew then it was them. It was pathetic the way he seemed to crumble for them, his hard exterior shattered as if it was glass. James believed there was a difference between someone who was a simp and someone who tried to look like they had it all together. That's what made him different from Andrew.

At least with him they would know what they were getting into, they didn't need to worry about a boastful male parading them around out in public.

'Hey, is something up with Andy or something?' He had to hold his breath in wait as he looked at the small picture that he had used for their phone number. Every time, no matter for what reason, he went into this chat he found that his heart started to beat faster. The grip they had over him was concerning, or at least it would be if he actually cared.

'I wouldn't know, haven't seen him today? Is something wrong?' His eyes slid shut, so they hadn't been together. For a small moment he was thankful that they hadn't been with Andrew today but the feeling quickly went away. They still cared enough for him that they were worried, it sat wrong with him

'Nah, he's a bit cranky. Since you hang out with him so often...' He clenched his jaw as he wrote the words out. He could feel his grip slip a little bit, every time he thought about them hanging out with Andrew...

'Nah, he's a bit cranky. Since you hang out with him so often I was wondering if you knew.' He sent off the message and closed the chat, something had happened and it obviously involved them. He had to know. He made his way over to Andrew's door and leaned close to it, seeing if he could hear anything from inside. Nothing, radio silence. Concerning silence.

His phone dinged from the lounge room. He sighed and quickly made his way back over, even if he wanted to see what was wrong with his roommate he would always put them first. Even if he had just told himself he wasn't going to look at their messages until he got to the bottom of things.

'Well, do you mind if I come over? Maybe we can make him feel better together :)' His eyes widened as he looked over the text. They wanted to... come over.... to his home... to do something together? Something akin to an overload of joy bubbled in his chest, they wanted to do something with him? They had specifically mentioned doing something together? That... made him so fucking happy.

He threw his phone onto the couch and surveyed the room, he would have to clean up and ensure everything was in its place. There was no way he would let them inside if things were disorderly. He needed to prove that he was the better choice and considering Andrew was currently throwing a tantrum over who knows what... this was his chance.

The next thirty minutes or so he bit at his lips constantly as he whirled around the place, making sure that it was neat and free of any marks that Andrew had left behind in his haste. Yes, he even cleaned the wall up from when he burst through the door.

Once the doorbell rang he felt his heart jump to his throat, they were here! Giddily he jumped over to the door before taking a small moment to compose himself. He was desperate for their attention but he also wanted to come off as dependable. He cleared his throat once more before he opened the door and smiled at them.

They looked perfect, they always did. Dressed in seasonal fall colours and carrying a small tray of local coffee to share. They thought of everything, they were so kind. He was blessed to even be in their presence, to be considered a friend... but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. He wanted to be wrapped up in their embrace, he wanted to be inside them, he wanted to carve out their chest.

"Hey, thanks for coming over." He said, his voice a little wobbly initially before he calmed himself down. Patience. They grinned at him and brushed past, welcoming themselves into his home. His safe space... his domain.

"No problem, it's always nice seeing you anyway." They hummed as they put the drinks down on the table. His heart soared, they had complimented him! They liked his company! They even remembered his coffee order! Cheerily they handed the drink over before the two sat on the couch, chatting mindlessly as they simply enjoyed the company between them. James couldn't help but slowly nudge his way closer. His thigh brushed against their own as he indulged himself in thoughts of their future.

The serendipous atmosphere soon shattered though as a door in the back of the apartment clattered open and heavy steps filled the hall. Startled at the sudden intrusion James bounced anxiously to his feet. Andrew had noticed they were here...

The taller man came from the hallway and stood in the passage, his eyes dead set on them as their head turned to face him. They smiled but he didn't smile back, instead his eyes seemed to narrow even more.

"And..." He was cut off as Andrew paced forward, his hands bracing on the couch between his and their body. His face was set hard as if it was carved out of stone.

"Have you finally come crawling back, she couldn't satisfy you. Not like I can." He sneered as James looked between the two of them. What was he talking about? They titled their head to the side before a knowing look crossed their face.

"You mean my date?" James' eyes widened as his whole world seemed to come down around him. Their... date? They had been on a date? Suddenly things seemed to click together, was that why Andrew had stormed home. He had seen them on a date with someone else... no, stalked them!

"I wouldn't call them a date, just a lonely loser who wanted to use you." Andrew scowled as he straightened up.

"I've had enough of this game of cat and mouse, wouldn't you agree James." Andrew looked over to the shorter male, his eyebrow raised.

[feuqueerfire]

Wandee Goodday Ep 7 Live Blogging

Whoop whoop 2nd week in a row that I'm managing to watch the show right after it airs. Although I did consider not watching it for 1-2 days so that I can finish my binge watch of Unknown (I'm so excited to see petty Yuan in ep 8 heh) but thought I should just watch this one before I find out everything that happens through tumblr and twitter posts.

I'm in sort of an angsty mood, esp after the last few Unknown eps that I've watched, so I'm expecting some angst here too. Eps 5-6 of Wandee have been happy and fun while they ignore their feelings and problems, so I need some of that to burst and cause issues.

Ep 7 (June 15)

7-1

showing a little support for psychiatry, though idk how helpful it is to make somebody go when they don't really wanna go

Does Yak want a mouth kiss if he wins?

Yak finds a photo of Ter and Dee in a book and it casts doubt in his mind ig

ohhh Dee was planning on throwing it out but in the end kept it and he had even written "love Dr. Ter the most" on the back

pls Kao's frustration as the audience stand-in

"...might lead to losing them"

Did Ter hear the part that gives away that they're not real bfs

well, he knows they're not dating fr anyway but still the audacity to confront Yak like this

Ter using his knowledge about Dee gained for the past 8 years against Yak, agh. like you knew him all this time and must have known he liked you and yet now that he's finally moving on, you can somehow take action? piss off

both Unknown and Wandee have boxing

what is up with these grown ass adults not being able to live without seeing each other for a few days T.T you shouldn't even be thinking of not going to Japan bc you won't see Yak for a couple days

Why is Dee basically he sniffing Yak's armpit in the gym showers

7-2

Yei just watching Yak sneak out lmfao

fuck I think Ter's gonna somehow be here? I didn't watch the preview but I saw a screencap of Ter and Dee while Dee was in the tiger outfit or whatever, though I think somebody mentioned it was at Ter's place

speak of the devil...

oh, Yak's got a keycard to Dee's place, did we know that?

why is Dee at Ter's bruh

let's fucking kill Ter, I actually cannot anymore

I do think it's funny how neither of them are commenting on Dee's literal tiger sex roleplay costume lmao he's even got a headband!

Dee needs to snap out of it, get up, and leeeeeaaaave

now Kao is here too?

the costume isn't for you to appreciate, Ter stoppppp >:((((

why the fuckkkk did Ter start leaning in, I actually need this man dead and gone, get off my damn screen

and then spilling wine on himself and wanting Dee to help cleanup and now he's practically naked in his fucking boxers, I wish I could be normal about just disliking Ter but I am immature about my hatred for him the same way he's immature about his ways trying to get Dee

TER IS OPENING THE DOOR IN HIS BOXERS?!?!? AND DEE'S ALSO IN HIS TIGER COSTUME IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT AGHHH

[Linguistics] oh damn Yak uses meung with Ter in anger

aw man T.T I get Yak, why did Dee say Yak always uses violence? I don't recall Yak being violent before this???

Yak breaking up, returning the keycard, taking the necklace back, ouchhhhhhhhh

Yak leaning on Taem

Aw man, Dee being sad at the necklace being gone

I think I would like it if for the rest of the ep + some of next ep, they're separate about doing their own stuff and missing each other and spending time with Ter & Taem only to realize they don't feel the same as they used to and when they come together again (hopefully sometimes next ep, I don't want it to be solved this ep tbh), it's with real feelings and confession. I think I also want Dee to confess/start the conversation since he's the one who fucked up (I know I ragged on Ter but how did Dee even let it go through all those steps omg)

fuck I saw 1 second of the preview and aghhhh I hate Ter, who could've guessed. I have some stuff to do so I'll be back for the next 2 parts later, though they're quite short compared to the first two parts.

7-3

back to watching but I'm having lunch so I probably won't type much

T.T

Ter realized his feelings alright. i don't know that i believe you lol, though maybe it's true since Ter's drunk while he's saying it

okay Ter accidentally fell, I thought he was gonna attack Dee from the 0.2 sec preview

dang, Yak's the one who leaned back and didn't kiss Taem. It seems like Taem wouldn't have been opposed to it?? Did she fall for him some time in the past few eps

7-4

oops was checking at the bottom timing bar how many minutes the show actually is before previews start (9mins) but got spoiled for the last scene of the ep

Damn, Yak's imagination of Dee and TEr really has him facing a humiliating defeat against Luke's character

I get P'Yei like despite everything going on in Yak's life, this is still his job and him winning was necessary for himself, the gym, money, etc. or at least put up a fair fight, not whatever that was bc of a fight with his fwb-fake bf that he has real feelings for

Aw, Wandee came back immediately and found Yak at his favourite place or whatever

Yak crying nooo

why am I suddenly paranoid that this is also Yak's imagination lmao

ah, indeed Yak had asked for Dee's first kiss

and Dee kisses him even though he lost

the kisses are mid but it's fine

damn, a hospital ball next ep? and how is Ter even in the show still wtf

I wanted angst and sadness and I got that but the way we got there was fairly contrived. Ter's sliminess I understand but Dee going through so many steps without just... leaving is like ?? I get that he may still have feelings for Ter that makes him not think straight or whatever but c'mon... am I supposed to believe Dee would actually go to Ter's place and have dinner there in his fucking sex roleplay clothes that he put on to have a candlelit dinner with Yak? and the violence comment was like... no? Yak's pathetic fight was also like... why.

The first kiss was also not impactful because we've established for 7 episodes that it's something very monumental to Dee + it's something that he wants to do with only somebody he really likes, so to have it 1) be a "consolation prize" and 2) come before they discuss their feelings or anything is resolved feels incomplete. It's not a grand or romantic moment the way their first kiss should have been. I don't wanna go back to goofy dance show or whatever next ep...

idk, this ep was a bit of disappointment in terms of storytelling and the way we're exploring emotions, I hope they can turn it around. They have 5 more episodes and so theoretically they have time to do stuff well but also... they have time to drag everything out lol

The necklace though T.T

[distortedidentity]

See I'm anti harassment because it never accomplishes anything and just wastes everyone's time, but for some reason I have yet to learn the same lesson about literally every other form of aggression

I will fight you in real life. I will throw down outside the local convenience store. I will kick your ass ON the bus, IN FRONT of the disapproving mother. I will hurl insults at you until my face turns blue and the cows come home

Honestly I have no business being so violent I am literally a skinny NEET twink. I'm not really a peaceful person. Sometimes punching people does get them to shut up. But also like. Idk I feel like it's inherently anti radqueer to be so pro violence. Like aren't we supposed to live and let live or something and not nonconsensually harm people idk

I think I have this bad habit of forming a moral hierarchy in my head. If I don't like your morals anything goes. But also that's just anti radqueer, no? Am I crazy? I think I'm a hypocrite. Like yes even if someone says something morally reprehensible that probably doesn't give me the right to whoop their ass inside the local Sainsburys. I do not view myself as an authority, I view myself as someone getting bigots to shut up the quickest and most effective way I know how. Authority isn't real. But, neither is the hierarchy I made up

Anyway what are your thoughts. I should not post this at all but I'm sleep deprived so I kind of don't care about making myself look like an ass right now

[siunytoons]

I SAW SOMEBODY DO THIS

so its like how ppl think they'd b aligned w fears as an avatar? girl idk I just wanna do it cuz boredemmm

Eye: ermm I dunno. I'm a little slow w observing stuff sometimes and I don't rlly care when people watch me. lwk indifferent to this one cuz I'm not that much of a curious person. so not that compatible I don't think! whoopsie daisies

spiral: hmmm. I'm like super sane. sometimes I'm disorganized sometimes I'm not, but that's not super relevant. I'm not afraid I'm going like, cray or anything. I'm just kinda there tbh. prolly not aligned!

The flesh: hrmm. maybe. like, I don't hate how I look, personally I think I'm pretty, but sometimes I wanna just reshape myself. but like, not obsessively. so also prolly not aligned

the lonely: honestly? yeah tbh. I've got friends and crap but I tend to be isolating myself. not like, on purpose or anything, but it just kinda happens. I gotta fight to actually be noticed occasionally and it TOTALLY sucks. maybe aligned!

the slaughter: nope. I'm the least violent person I know

hunt: also no. super spooked by being chased and chasing people. it makes me nervous and I don't think I'd be aligned well.

the stranger: hey queens! also not aligned. wow, I am on a nonaligned combo here. call me the average joe cuz I am powering through this! I never ever really felt like I wasn't quite human or a stranger to anyone. I'm like, friendly and nice and not super into blending into a crowd too much

web: err, no. maybe when I was like younger cuz like, I'd cry to get out of trouble. but what kid didn't do that. Im a control freak sometimes, but that was all kinda in the past tbh. I'm a way better person now and honestly Im proud. non aligned! (I hope)

dark: nope. sunlight's just better. sorry queens

end: girl if ur not afraid of dying I'm afraid of u sorry! (jk). Srsly though. DEF not aligned

desolation; NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. whoever finds it fun to destroy things that make others happy? U make me SICK. def not aligned. love siun!

corupptionnnn: wow I just realized I snatched the "the" outta the fears after a bit. whoops! anyway, Im kinda indifferent to sickness and bugs. like, bees are my OPP. but I know they're natural and I share the world with them so like, why let it control me y'know? as for diseases, its whatever. I mean, it totally sucks ot get them, but also natural. non aligned!

buried: EW. DISGUSTING. NO. I absolutely HATE confined spaces. If I was ever an avatar of this I would DIE.

the vast: actually, maybe. this is the one I kinda lean towards mostly cuz like I'm always kinda head in the clouds lost in the sauce and all that jazz. I need an intervention for my constant spacing out. so like, probably my top one as of now. Plys, oceans and skies are kinda cool tbh. ESPECIALLY THE OCEAN. a little scary, but the beach oh em geeee. ily ocean <3

the extinction: who wants this. like genuinely. everyone hates this fear. KILL THIS FEAR. human life is NOT being eradicated. I love being alive

YURRT FINISHED!!!! What I've concluded is that I am a very normal person. thank you for listening to my tedtalk

[saffronscales]

here is summarised version:

starts with Squirrelkit and Ashfur. pretty cool guys they are good friends. ashfur is squirrelkit’s uncle (in canon also that’s why I made this au) and they have a strong bond. Squirrelkit notices sometimes that in the night…… asjfur goes out?????? and comes back with smelly water fish man smell. one day there is a huge argument in the clearing between bramble and ash over this, and that night.. ashfur is DEAD. like actually dead. hit his head on a rock by accident, drowned in a river!!!! Squirrelkit is devastated

when she becomes an apprentice ashfur appears in her dreams!!! dark forest training montage. also they’re still best buds. Squirrelpaw gets emo green hair and goes to the warrior cat ball with brambleclaw. brambleclaw is the new incel.

Squirrelpaw evolves into squirrelflight. brambleclaw’s deputy, and hawkfrost is now dead. two silly gay people are now in the dark forest together. (ashfur and hawkfrost.) when leafpool is pregnant ashfur appears to speak with her this is how it goes:

ashfur: hey niece 2.0 heard you hooked up with some guy.

leafpool: uncle ashfur why is the first time you talk to me outside of you living about me hooking up with crowfeather

ashfur: calm down bro.  and dw I gotchu I was in that same situation

leafpool: what

ashfur: what

leafpool: so what am I supposed to do

ashfur: idk should’ve thought about that before being straight

anyway the three are born, grow up and then the fire scene rolls around. brambleclaw is the evil guy. squirrelflight tells brambleclaw the truth about her not actually having the kits. hollyleaf ATTEMPTS to kill brambleclaw but fails because like his dad he’s just one solid chunk of fluffy muscle. so she runs into the tunnels out of 1. embarrassment and because she was fed up with facing reality

oots goes by and hawkfrost don’t die!,, yippe!!!(?)

pretty big timeskip but in the broken code, shadowsight is a full on clone of ashfur. like got the weird scribble eye (in actuality it’s a birth defect) and the exact markings. but like the same colour palette as ferncloud (a bit darker than ashfur). unfortunately hawkfrost is actually an asshole. hawkfrost manipulâtes ashfur into convincing shadowsight to take bramblestar’s life. silly clones. then it all happens and ashfur just kinda. possesses bramblestar. yea. ashfur is set on just being cool with squirrelflight (and literally everyone) but the clans don’t like the fact that a ghost stole thunderclan’s leader’s body. so they riot against him and ashfur’s like well crap. so he goes back to the dark forest but whoops he kinda made a hole between the dark forest and the starclan. oh no now people are out to kill ashfur. 

in the final “fight” (more of a violent confrontation) greystripe doesnt die and shadowsight kinda just.. falls into a bit of dark river. ashfur notices and saves him but bristlefrost think he’s trying to drown him. shadowsight is kinda chucked into the center of the battlefield while bristlefrost and ashfur fight it out. hawkfrost saves ashfur, and stops him from saving bristlefrost. ashfur pushes past hawkfrost and saves her anyway. they argue. ashfur literally attempts to murder his husband. but he loses a lot of his power. they kinda break up (not really they get back together unfortunately). everything goes pretty much back to normal. that’s all I’ve done so far. I am thinking of ashfur being like.. frostpaw’s guide to ghosts. yk

ROCK ON DUDE!!!!! your au is sick. here’s a few doodles because I thought it was funny

[james-carslut]

Barbie Review ⚠️Spoilers Ahead⚠️

Greta did such an amazing job depicting what growing up and self-actualisation into womanhood feels to a girl as soon as Barbie enters the Real World. I just Felt So Much and I wanted to say my piece cause yes growing up- the tragedy to be congratulated for, how do we see it, what is it, how to represent it, the multi-facets of it, etc etc. But I mostly just wanted to talk about the part where Barbie just enters the Real World because-

1. The Male Gaze

sorry not sorry but the gaze is the first thing that Barbie feels is seriously off. Her literal reaction is 'i am conscious of myself because I am subjected to something that is violent' and as soon as i heard those words I knew I'm in for a cathartic montage of empathy towards my kid self cause now what i felt is in actual words and it's so nice to have a description from a child's vocabulary. I know what the gaze is and it's definition and all the terms but to have someone going through that same uncomfortable actualisation and trying to put it into words while my adult self just looks on at the screen, riveted and sad, yes.

2. The Conditioning

The normalisation of catcalling and general invasive genital questioning, public assault, punishment of self defense, realisation that systems of public protection are sources of further private attack (the cops further harassing Barbie), being broke whoops and being punished again (cough cough homelessness as a crime cough I see what you did there with the feminist agenda Greta cough), further sexualisation, all of it. A girls eyes opening to the Real World. For many of us, this was a moment when we tried to help an adult by saying "let's call the police" or "i can just ask the man to give it to me- money? I don't have money?" and then got Informed.

3. The Cynic Shakedown

Barbie talking to the schoolgirl was the moment when I took my painting to the teacher and she dismissed it saying the sky isn't pink. It was the moment when you turn to friends and they say "do you even care". It was the moment when you want to say 'I like that' and you don't (literally what happens in the movie). It's getting your heart broken by the cynic and it's the loss of innocence, it's a rite of passage and it's the beginning of how people curl into themselves in that moment and become the cynic so they don't feel it like that again. It's when you start being cruel to your mother and you start wanting to be right over being kind. It's inevitable. And it's also :(

4. The Negotiation

Finally some form of authority that can take accountability for this wrongness- wait this is off too- where are the women, what's your agenda- I'm sorry Mr. Man Dude what did you say you specialise in??- I'm so sorry that you feel I wronged you I swear that what not what I intended- no I genuinely didn't try to wrong you I'm sorry- okay I can fit in the box, i remember the box, it was okay- wow this box is very nostalgic haha except hold on, something's off and I really can't shake it off this time Mr. Man Dude- no wait please this box is claustrophobic- hold on a second you're all surrounding me and I just took a step back, i didn't step into the box willingly- wait wait why aren't you listening- can you please stop talking over me- wait please no I don't want to be in the box-

......... -hey hi haha let me just fix my hair please at least allow me to do that oh no I can't think of escaping because I can't think yes you're right I can't think at all except about my hair sometimes and I can't escape anyway because you see I know that I'm meant to be the damsel in distress and yes of course it's perfectly alright if you distress me just please allow me to step out for a second to fix my hair and: Mad Dash To Survival.

5. What is it for What am I for Why What does it all mean Why Why Just why

Despair as a level of puberty. And then being offered kindness, company, solace, empathy, comradry, being seen, being comforted. The oh, this is what it's all for, the in-betweens. These things don't just make it possible to rest before getting up to fight again, they are the reason why we fight. Why we get up everyday and outperform and then wonder if we're capable and do the same old same old Every. Single. Day. On repeat. And still feeling so alone but at least having carved out something resembling a purpose. A wish. A desire. Something to take a step for.

(and here, when Barbie meets Ruth for the first time do I understand the opening credits. The kitchen table to a woman that is the monolith the the ape. A space to rest, love, create, live, make, care and care and care.)

6. Communism

Comradry. "Get in Barbie!" And the Opening Up and The Bond and the i-know-what-you-meant looks and the hand-in-hand and the 'i'll do it for you even if I can't do it for me' and the 'you feel this too!!' and the reason why the death of friendships hurt in a place where lovers can never reach. Women. Solidarity. The helping hand. The divine Other but she is not the other, she is you, she is her, she is irrevocably human and faulted and yet she's here and she's lonely too, she's Barbie. She's me.

(ugh I'm tearing up and yeah I cried in the movie, the trees, the old lady, the mom's monologue, the final talk with Ruth, it all just got to me okay. The movie was exactly what I expected it to be and what I wanted it to be and it was perfect like Barbie)

I'm not complaining because everything I'm describing is just what growing up felt like. It felt like a hit after hit after hit of alienation from the world and from oneself and from security. And then there's the other side of tunnel, the perks of adulthood and having fun being a woman in a post-Barbie era. The falling in love with pink again, adult sleepovers, feeling like a Barbie when you rearrange the first house you rent, pretty stuff, strong stuff, kind stuff. And making boundaries with all the Ken's in a way that's fair to both you and the Ken and doing the work to be happy. Yeah. Thank you Greta.

[number-one-crush]

LF DoL M!LIxF!PC RP! (w/ me as the LIs and you as the PC!)

What an absolute fucking MESS of a title that is, lmaoooo TT

ASSORTED WARNINGS: 22+!! TW: dead dove and shit, it’s Degrees of Lewdity, please be careful people who don’t know what that is!

Hey (maybe future) friends! I’ve recently gotten into DOL and have been pretty obsessed with it lately. It’s got all the things I love, and by all the things I love, I mostly mean: EVERYONE LOVES ONE PERSON AND NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT IT and TOXIC FUCKING OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. So, without further ado…

THE PREMISE:

My favorite characters by far are Whitney and Kylar. I imagine I’d also probably really like Eden, too, but I actually haven’t really tried anything with him yet, and honestly, as much as he sounds like a real catch, I just really, really thrive off all the jealous drama between Whitney, Kylar, Sydney and Robin at school.

So like, I’d really like to RP that. And by that, I mean that I’d like to write Whitney and Kylar… and to a lesser extent, (mostly for drama) Robin and Sydney, as being wildly in love with and obsessed with your PC so we can explore the absolute mess of a fall out that inevitably causes. :v

My favorite thing to do with characters I love is to write for them: there’s something really fun about getting into that headspace and exploring the way they feel and how they’d behave, and I love it. I could write fanfiction, and I can’t lie: the temptations have been there! But honestly, it’s hard for me to motivate myself writing fanfiction when the chance to write against someone else and geek out over the absolute fucking disaster-nonsense our characters get up to together is so much more fun. ):

SO: DETAILS! 

I really only do MxF, with me playing the LIs as dudes and you playing the PC as a lady. Sorry for any other pairing combination, I just wouldn’t have the same inspiration to write for other configurations. ): I’m not going to tell you how your PC should look or really behave, and I look forward to hearing about her from you! I love getting excited about other peoples’ OCs!

I’ve got headcanons for the boys (which are pretty typical, honestly!), but I am of course open to input from you on what you’d like to see, too. :> 

Since this is DOL, obvious content warnings apply! Noncon/dubcon, abusive and messed-up situations… they pretty much come with the territory, though I’m not looking to make anyone uncomfy and I’ve got no problem toning some things down or ratcheting things up based on what you do or don’t feel comfy with! I’d like to feel comfortable talking OOC to make sure everyone feels okay about stuff. 

Which brings my rambling to my next point: DOL is obviously a sex game and I’m not opposed to raw smut or anything. But what I miss from the game is the emotional turmoil and fucked up sense of longing – and an obvious desire to possess PC – that I feel Kylar and even Whitney are drowning in. We get to see their actions, but not their thoughts, and I really want to do this to develop and dwell on those feelings! I want to see them and the PC involved in situations (fucked up as they are) that allow those things to really flourish and shine. I am an absolute slut for deep, anguished, sometimes violent obsession in characters… I just think getting to explore that is SUPER sexy in fiction, so maybe expect a like 80/20 plot to smut ration. Maybe 70/30? I feel like the smut hits a LOT harder if you’ve got a lot of pent up feelings behind it. 

Honestly, I don’t even NEED smut, but like, it’s DOL, so it kinda feels like it comes with the territory? Your girl here really lives the tumultuous, angsty emotional foreplay, whoops. ): I just really wanna write a bunch of really fucked up dudes falling in love with PC – bullying her, stalking her, meekly trying to protect her… you get the vibe!

ANYWAY, some things I’d hope for/need from you!:

+ Absolutely, positively, with no exceptions, you need to be like, middish twenties or older. I’m older myself and I absolutely have no desire to interact with teenagers. No offense to teenagers, you all can make great writers – just as someone who is absolutely not a teenager, it’s just what I’m comfortable with. Even if the subject matter wasn’t super-ultra-fucked, I wouldn’t feel comfy with it.

+ I’d like someone who understands that, as an adult, I have a job and a partner and a relatively active social life with my (one) good friend, so I will probably manage a post or two a day, sometimes a post every two! It might be more than that if I really get into the vibe, but ya know…

+ I like to be descriptive when I write, somewhere between pretentious-fuckoffery and wordy-but-functional. Sometimes I’ll do a few paragraphs… sometimes, I really get into it and it can be a couple pages. I tend to be reactive to what is needed for a scene: flashy back-and-forth dialogue is gonna make for shorter posts, but sometimes I really like getting into my character’s headspace and waxing poetic about how much they want their love interest for like, a few paragraphs or more. I’d like someone who can at least manage a few paragraphs! One liner stuff does nothing to me; I want to be able to feel like my characters have a reason to WANT your character, so I need something to work with! Please have a pretty good grasp of grammar and what not, too! Obviously stylistic choices can make for some fun grammar fuckery, and I’m not about to judge for some spelling errors, but like, please please have a pretty good grasp of writing! I live for good writing partners. ):

+ TENSE/POV: I am not super picky, but I admit I love the present tense second person of the game. As someone who was super into Homestuck, that shit just jives with me. That said, I’m open to a lot of different things, just absolutely NO FIRST PERSON. I cannot stand it in RP, it really takes me out. We can hash it out!

+ The ability to advocate for yourself OOC! The subject matter is icky, and I don’t want to traumatize anyone. We don’t need to be best OOC friends, but I hope we can feel comfortable with each other enough to hash things out outside of RP so we can both feel okay with whatever is going on! I’d also really like to just be able to gush about our characters OOC, please! TT Like, let’s be dumb and make playlists and pinterests, ahhhhhh! If you got a song you got that reminds you of things, PLEASE TELL ME, I wanna be a total fucking nerd about our fucked up children!

+ Discord! I tend to use discord to RP because servers make things easier to organize! Please use it! I don’t really like using anything else, womp womp. ):

So! If you’ve read all that, and you’re interested, please hmu here on Tumblr! I hate the ask/messaging system here, so like, you can just drop me some info on your PC and maybe your discord handle via one of those, and we can move to Discord to see if we’d make good RP partners! 

Thanks a bunch and looking forward to hearing from you! 

PS: Please excuse the Dabi theme-ing, I’m too lazy to change my very basic theme-ing. I love love fucked up dudes, and I cannot lie.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 18

kirk and mccoy flirting

spock is just pressing hit tits up into kirks shoulder. interesting

spock: "doctor, you are a sensualist"

mccoy: "you bet your pointed ears i am"

HUH?????? AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK THIS ISNT GAY???

oh damn that planets fucked

this show loves its juxtaposition

radiation burns and bombs. gee i wonder what real events were-

damn theyre getting attacked and they cant be beamed up

kirk would rather die than allow the enterprise to be destroyed. i really like how consistent the show is about his priorities.

enemies < himself < friends < sexy shit < the enterprise

is this a fucking warzone?? jesus you can really tell these writers were alive during world war II

kirk protecting the ship above himself is a theme here

...do the stripes on the sleeves indicate rank or something? kirk has 3, spock has 2, that random guy has 1

the horrors of war... 2!

the practical effects on this show are pretty hit or miss. theyre either awesome or complete shit

endlessly entertained by how spock has constant angry eyebrows bc of the vulcan makeup

starship chases are significantly less eventful than car chases

why is warp factor 7 dangerous

spock is pretty inconsistent on how much he cares about living things. sometimes hes super gung-ho about pragmatic murder and sometimes he opposes murdering sentient life on principle?

much like a car chase theyre speeding in space

kirk this is so obviously a trap. dude.

oh no wait it looks like their ship is just stopped in this area. no moving sorry :P

"we are being held" like a baby?

aliens say "stop being violent, idiots. were gonna make you resolve your conflict."

lmfao i love when they teleport people by just having them boop out of existence

kirk has to fight the alien lizard man now. watch out kirk its stick is bigger than yours

this fight choreo is so dumb

getting weirdly homoerotic

KIRK JUST THREW A ROCK AT HIM AND IT JUST BONKED OFF HIM LIKE IT WAS NOTHING LMFAOOOOOOO

kirk ass shot

this lizard man appears to be smarter than kirk gives him credit for

kirk. stop expecting to find weapons laying around. theyre expecting you to BUILD them you idiot

where the hell is this being filmed

ok wait the other aliens wanted to resolve the conflict but theyre just making them duke it out in person? thats dumb.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA KIRK DROPPED A BOULDER ON HIM this show is funny as shit

hes fine <3

yeah sorry kirk this lizard dude is way smarter than you

obvious rope trap is obvious

kirk is right though he definitely has the advantage in dexterity against this guy

kirk tries and fails to recall his chemistry lesson on sulfur

oh good the crew gets to watch kirk get his ass beat

spock can identify potassium nitrate on sight. sure dude

oh good kirk and the lizard dude are talking

apparently the humans were in lizard territory without knowing?

oh this episode is extremely anti-war

kirk enters the stone age

kirk is building a diamond cannon with the power of chemistry. thats cool as shit

careful not to blow urself up kirk

kirk just shot a fucking diamond at this dude i love this show

kirk its kind of rude to shoot a diamond at someone and then not kill them

oh shit lizard dude vanished

kirk assigned enlightened at alien

star trek says war is bad just talk to each other

aight lets get out of dodge

whoop they got warped across the galaxy

romantic shoulder touch from mccoy

ok i guess this is all fine now

[formless-monkeys]

all that turmoil just building up, nowhere to go. he might actually lash out from it.

!!! and then he immediately feels guilty afterwards and goes “omg what am i doing, am i corrupted, i really must be evil”

…but the monkeys help him through it, trying to calm him down, telling him that it’s okay, they’re there for him. and when he finally admits everything, they all hug him and reassure him that he’s still a hero and that they would never hate him or kick him out 🥺🥹 (then they all go whoop skeleton king’s bony behind)

Y'know who I think would especially be good helps? (Well, everyone but SPECIFICALY) Sparx and Nova.

Sparx has actually been corrupted, he knows what it's like....and he seems the type to actually get those thoughts too.

And Nova... she's actually hurt the team before. Well, he WAS part of the team at the time. Im referring to Snowbound and her outburst at Mandarin.

I can imagine even Antauri being pretty surprised at an outburst from Chiro. He might be able to sense tension, but he thinks too highly of Chiro to anticipate the cruel words Chiro would say in a moment of rage.

But Sparx? Takes two seconds to stop before laughing.

"Kid, if you're feeling anything other than joy at calling us idiots, you're the idiot. And uncorrupted." He shrugs.

He's so sure about it, Chiro has no choice but to believe him.

...a therapeutic moment of going through some of the violent evil thoughts, acknowledging them, and putting them back into the ether.

Knowing the team won't hate him for it, the thoughts would be easier to let go.

...

Otto: Sometimes i fantasize about tying Gibson up into knots until all his bones break.

Gibson: Where did that come from?!?