#just started part 4 i think
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I'm reading "Record Of A Spaceborn Few" by Becky Chambers and aughhghhhhh.
#ow#aur rambles about books#record of a spaceborn few#its so achingly human#i feel as if i have been put through the wringer#original posts#just started part 4 i think
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Palestinian freedom fighters breaking out of Gaza and reclaiming their occupied territories. They’ve taken over israeli tanks and have chased out the settlers that were on that land. They’ve launched rockets everywhere and the iron dome has failed to intercept. This is about to mark a momentous event in history.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
#free palestine#it feels so surreal and so shocking#there’s so much hope but so much fear#you just know they’re about to retaliate with the genocide they’ve been planning for years now#i fear for my palestinian brothers and sisters but this is so fucking huge#they tore down part of the barbed wire fence!!!! the people of Gaza are breaking out!!!!#god there’s so much more on twitter but i beg if you look do NOT look at non-palestinian sources#they’re twisting the narrative as if this isn’t retaliation for 76 years of torture#as if the israeli forces and settlers didn’t kill 4 palestinians yesterday alone#as if they haven’t killed nearly 300 palestinians this year alone#do NOT let the media trick you into thinking anything after will be a retaliation to an attack Palestine started#PALESTINE is the one retaliating#also if you’re gonna come in here with both sides or whatever sincerely block me and lmk so i can blokc you#they’ve already out out statements to leave children and the elderly alone so any middle aged fuckers are free to kill :)#which is fine since they’ve likely killed hundreds if not thousands of their friends and family and neighbors anyway#tag: important#fuck israel#gaza#tag: october 7 2023
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I.. meant to post this sooner ;-;
Sorry for the delay, but here is part 4 :D
Masterpost || Next
#rottmnt#rise2012crossover#rottmnt x 2012#tmnt 2012#rottmnt x 2012 crossover#rottmnt leo#tmnt 2012 donnie#rise leonardo#sad•leonart#i just love them very much#also... havent started the lineart for part five yet ;-;#and its longer (i think its 7 pages compared to my usual 3-4)#rip my hand#tumblr and instagram are caught up now :D
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|| part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 coming soon... ||
man sabo really thought he'd get away from ace that easy, huh? well tough shit buddy you just got the attention of one of the most stubborn men on the seas. i do wonder how this'll play out now that sabo's cornered... hehe >;3
textless versions below the cut for those who want to look at. pictures <3
(skipped page 5 due to. y'know. it not having any dialogue)
#see this is why i don't give estimations on when updates will come#because literally 3 days ago someone asked when part 2 was coming and i said at least a week or so cause i only had 1 page done#and then i just got in the grove and cranked out 3 1/2 pages in 2 days dfkghsdjkf#consistant workflow? what's that lol#warlord!ace au#one piece#sabo one piece#sabo the revolutionary#portgas d ace#hmmm koala's here but i don't think enough to tag her#cause she's entirely offscreen#ah well#art#comic#warlord!ace au update#feels wierd to post textless because like. the bubbles are a very important part of the page balance#but i'm also the kind of nerd who likes to look at that sort of thing so i get it akjbdfkgj#i'm posting this so late but whatever. your welcome uhhhh australians? maybe? sdfkbgk#pleaaase let there be no more errors i've corrected like 4 since starting the post and i'm so worried i'll post it and find another
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toodeee
everything is transient. only an easy to draw guy is forever
#gorillaz#2d#stuart pot#gorillaz 2d#admin draws#fanart#needed a palate cleanser from my current fixation. came back to my roots#lore that i dont really get to talk about a lot outside of dms is that gorillaz is like a cornerstone of my art lol esp post 2018#ive had 4 main inspirations which are gorillaz phases 2-3. soul eater. homestuck. and a friend of mine. he knows who he is.#come to think of it 2018 is in some ways the year i really started drawing. 3/4 inspirations walked into my life that year#bc of this when i went to make a separate blog for art it became part of my username. slav-hewlett#ive had several dreams in which jamie hewlett just is there and gives me art advice and a few kind words. damon is usually there too#theyre a pack deal do not separate etc. those dreams are always really nice.#contrary to how much i draw 2d mudz is my favorite. its just that dear ol stu is very fun and much easier to draw#i should give murdoc a fair shot though. now that ive got the chops. theres been attempts thru the year but none were posted
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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is it fair to call people like this "hack writers" if the only way they find a relationship interesting is when it involves pedophilia, incest, cannibalism or necrophilia?
#context: this was in response to a quote about cannibalism in a romantic context#note: this is purely in a writing perspective.#i find the value in romantic cannibalism because it is a interesting metaphor in general#but maybe look at irl examples of cannibalism and you'll realize that it is WAY more complicated#(ex. families in different cultures eating parts of a dead family member to connect them together; even after death)#(or the written historical accounts of slave-owners cannibalizing their slaves & the subsequent trauma for black people related to it)#cannibalism as a metaphor should never be restrained to only romance or love#do you recognize how interesting it can be to use cannibalism as a metaphor for hate? or for literally anything else?#it can be used as a metaphor for control; power; possession; abuse or destroying someone at their very core#im sure it can be used for both simultaneously but i think its limiting to perceive it as 100% romantic#also it limits the discussions of real life cannibalism; both modern and historical#+ is it really impossible to think of a “forbidden relationship” without these 4 subjects?#but the persons' bio starts w/ them being into winc3st (the one who wrote that) so i dont think they give a shit#(sorry for the fuck-ton of tags. it always bothered me as someone who does writing analysis sometimes & get fixated on culture and history)#[just me yapping]#ok to rb#proships dni#tw pedophila mention#tw incest mention#tw necrophillia#racism tw#tw cannibalism#<- these definitely apply here
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bare your teeth, blunt as they may be
Pairing: F!Detective/F!Li-Sar and F!Detective/Adam du Mortain Word Count: 5,5k Warnings: Angst, Lots of sexual tension and descriptions of violence (but those are pretty tame, nothing graphic) Tags: @agentnatesewell @ava-du-mortain (you haven't asked but I know you've been waiting for this lol). Let me know if you want to be tagged in future fics! Authors Note: I am done at last! I rewrote and edited this thing so much, I just had to stop at some point. I haven't settled on how Li-Sar looks so there isn't a whole lot of detailed description on her appearance (or her outfit; I'm so sorry but I cannot write her in what she's wearing in the books and I couldn't decide on another one for her), but Zuri is still pretty descriptive of her if I do say so myself. Also on a03!
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The forest floor tastes like ash. Dry against her cheek, dry as her throat. She lands face first on the cracks of a former cage.
Zuri coughs, palms against the barren forest floor, arms shaking as she pushes herself up. Only her upper body makes it off the ground. She can't muffle the groan that escapes her lips. There's too much aching. In her limbs from blocking attacks, in her torso for taking one too many. Her knuckles, the side of her face, bruised. Her bottom lip, stinging, probably busted. Blood trickles down her chin and leaves a tangy taste in her mouth. She blinks and blinks and blinks the blurry vision away.
The hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. The air is tinged with her magic - the same magic buzzing through her and flaring out of her in sparks. She's getting closer.
“Have I truly hurt you so, mortal?” She coos, her voice silky smooth from behind her. Zuri scrambles forward, trying to move her legs despite them feeling as heavy as cinder blocks. Li-Sar's tone shifts to something sharp with the promise of violence as she continues, “or is there another pathetic human being I need to rid this world of for you?”
Zuri slowly turns her head, eyes trailing up the length of her body before meeting her gaze and whimpering. Let her think it's over. Let her think she's done fighting-
Then kick.
Her foot strikes her in the calf. Li-Sar grunts, leg buckling slightly only because of how often she's been kicked there. She locks her foot around her ankle and the same leg crumbles to the ground. Dirt flies into the air when Li-Sar's forearms meet the floor. She manages to hold her weight on one arm long enough to reach for her gun. Aims it at her and-
“Come now.”
A hand hits her wrist, bats it away. It flies out of reach, accompanied by a dry laugh that's soon muffled by the ringing of a stray gunshot. It's hard enough to put Zuri on her back.
Li-Sar's head is framed with trees from her position above her. She's straddling her, thighs on either side of her, an arm pressing tight against her neck while the other wrestles away the hand reaching and clawing for her face. It's eventually pinned to the ground.
The ringing in her ears and hard landing disorients her enough for any move she makes to be sloppy, but not enough to drown out her next words. “You know that won't work on me.”
Her clothes cling to her body, crackling with static and suddenly she's off the ground. In the air. The world spins. Her back slams against something rough and flaky - a tree - and she wheezes in Li-Sar's grasp.
She shakes her head and tuts as she looks over her. She loosens her grip on her blazer, moving one hand up to Zuri's face, cupping her jaw and moving her head this way and that in inspection. Zuri feels more than hears herself protesting, her lip stinging as she says…something and squeezes her eyes shut so she doesn't have to watch her surroundings spin and droop in front of her.
Another coo. A thumb rubbing against her chin, blood smearing against her skin, het voice clear as the ringing fades away. “This isn't quite the mess I wanted to make of you, meor'dal.”
Zuri tries to focus on her breathing, ragged as it is, and opens her eyes to watch the trees that aren't obscured by the curls of her hair slowly come to a standstill. Anything but the sound of her voice or the feeling of her fingers on her skin. The way both imbed themselves into her mind.
“Listen, Li-Sar,” she rasps.
“Oh, my name sounds so sweet on your lips. Talk to me, I will listen to every word.” She brings her thumb to her mouth and sucks gently, her eyes flashing a bright white as she licks the blood off.
Her throat is still dry as she swallows and heat gathers in her cheeks. Why must she be so- God, this is ridiculous.
“You-” Zuri stammers, shying away from her gaze with an ahem before continuing. “It was stupid of them to come here and think they could take you on. Trappers are notorious for getting in over their heads.”
“So that's what those humans are? Trappers?” She scoffs. “A name fitting for those who foolishly throw themselves into a trap.”
“Right,” she meets her eyes again, watching carefully for a change in demeanour. She may not know what they're called, but she knew enough to draw them to her. Easy targets.
“We just came to get them away from here, take them in and figure out a motive.”
She wants to believe that they didn't intend to actually try and capture her - a being so powerful that her prison was interdimensional purgatory. She really does. But maybe years of eating dirt while fighting agents made them lose brain cells. That, or whoever orders them around found out about Sin and got cocky, thinking that they too could have a powerful, centuries old supernatural do their bidding. Whatever it is, it's ridiculous. So much so that the Agency sent her and the rest of Unit Bravo here to protect them from her - neutralise them and prevent as many deaths as possible.
Mostly so they don't have to play clean up. At least, that's what Morgan thinks.
They arrived while the Trappers were still alive and breathing and following hare-brained orders. They were standing around Li-Sar in a loose circle; she was watching them with a smirk and playing with the electricity dancing around her fingers. Probably pleased that her practice dummies delivered themselves to her. They started advancing slowly - at least they had enough brain cells to be afraid - and all she did in response was chuckle. The calm before the storm. She could and would wipe them out in seconds.
Zuri entered the scene with her hands raised. The powers had settled enough for them to not instantly open fire on people, especially when she remains calm. So with deep, calculated breaths, she used them to appear placating and harmless as she talked Li-Sar out of engaging them.
They aren't worth it, they wouldn't even be able to put up a good fight.
What do you suggest I do then, mortal?
Let me and my friends handle them. We'll get them out of your hair. It'll be more entertaining if nothing else. You could also catch a glimpse of that potential you're so interested in.
You and the vampiir in the shadows are…friends? You are full of surprises, aren't you? Fine then. Show me what you can do.
With a bright flash, she disappeared.
With her gone and the sun having sunk behind the trees, Unit Bravo was as strong as they could be while having Zuri in the vicinity. She may not be the sun or a centuries old deity, but the solar powers inside her were enough to prevent them from functioning at full strength. Not that it would be needed against a bunch of flighty, spooked Trappers.
It was a quick fight. Mission accomplished. It ultimately went well. Until it didn't.
One of them got up and tried to swing at her from behind. She saw the man in her periphery, lowered herself into a defensive stance. There wasn't enough time to dodge, but she could take him.
But not faster than Adam rushed forward to tackle him.
But he wasn't faster than Li-Sar, who appeared out of thin air and struck him down with a bolt of lightning.
He died on impact. Burnt to a crisp.
She missed Adam by a hair.
The air was heavy with tension and fear. Magic and blood. And she choked on it, too thick in her lungs as she gasped.
He could've been killed too.
It didn't take much to convince the vampires to stay back and for Li-Sar to join her somewhere more private - maybe even nostalgic for her - but she knows they aren't far. After what happened during their first encounter, they weren't going to leave the two of them alone for long.
She needs to be quick.
“But we can't exactly question someone who isn't alive,” she can still feel his blood on her side, can hear how it splattered against bark and damp grass. The way his body fell to the ground, joining the others that were groaning on the ground with a stillness that only comes after a heart stops beating.
Her own hammered in her chest.
“...why?” She asks, quietly, hoping for a good reason, knowing she won't get one.
“Why?” Li-Sar stares her down with a raised brow as if the question couldn't be more ridiculous. Like questioning her at all was even more so.
Louder this time, with anger rumbling beneath a layer of fear and frustration. “After thousands of years, you're free. And the first thing you want to do is kill some random group of humans!? Why?”
“They led themselves to their deathbeds the moment they thought they could have any control over me,” she snarls, the stare souring into a glare. “They are worth less than the dirt beneath our feet. Pests, at best. And I will not let a pest touch what is mine.”
Her jaw clenches, blood boiling, sparks flying off her fingers. God, she can't take anymore of this. Of people staking claim of her, believing she'll bend to their will or will be their tool to use for whatever they want to gain. Something ugly and destructive stirs within her, all sharp teeth and claws and molten heat, rearing its head after laying low for months and being smothered by fear and sadness.
She returns the glare and digs her nails into her wrists, drawing out a hiss. Electricity flares between them, vibrant streaks of blue where her palms meet her skin.
“And what,” she speaks through clenched teeth, her voice low and hackles raised, “makes you think any part of me is yours.”
Li-Sar's hands glitch out of her grip before she slams her against the tree again. Hard enough for the breath to be knocked out of her lungs. Her body is heavy against hers, forcing her gasps for air to be shallow, her tender ribs screaming as the bark pricks at her back. A hand grabs her wrists and pins them above her head.
“Is the power surging through you not my own? Is our bond not what allows you to wield it?
She doesn't answer. She can't. Nothing she says can change what happened to her. That another supernatural tried to use her, that their will was imposed on her again. That her blood has been the catalyst for all of it. And everyone wants to drain her dry.
Fuck Ostin. And fuck every power-hungry asshole out there.
Zuri stifles a groan and twists and turns. Her legs are useless - heavy, far from the ground and too close to her body for them to put any distance between them. But she has to do something, anything.
Li-Sar tilts her head, watches her fondly and chuckles - now she can both hear it and feel it. Hates that the press of her body - how it reverberates through her, shakes against her - doesn't bother her the way it should. She leans in close, strands of her tickling her cheek as she murmurs, “your anger is endearing, although I don't understand it.”
Her lips brush against her ear and Zuri stills.
“You have seen my power firsthand, as well as how those around you yearn for it. But still, you fight it. As though it isn't a blessing to be my other-heart.”
“I,” she can't bring herself to turn her head away. “I don't know what that's supposed to mean.”
“Hmm. You will, in time,” she hums before pulling away slightly. Just enough for both of them to have a clear view of the other's face. Enough for Zuri to see nothing but her. Knuckles trail along the curve of her cheek and jaw, a pleasant tingle against her skin.
“The people of this world are meaningless to me. Specks of stardust in a vast galaxy. They have nothing to offer me. But you? You have,” she inhales, deeply, breathing her in while her eyes trace her features as though she could get drunk on her and her alone. “You have more than you could ever imagine.”
A shudder runs down Zuri’s spine. A part of her clings onto the anger she has, tries to will it to fuel her actions, but the heat building up inside her isn't from that alone. Some of it comes from having this woman in front of her. Bold, flirty, certain about herself, what she wants, who she wants. Their hearts are pounding against each other through their clothes, through their chests why does she have to be so-
Li-Sar's eyes travel lower, down her neck and collarbone to where their bodies meet. Zuri follows her gaze without thought. A charge of electricity dances back and forth between them, in and around one person and to the next. She isn't sure what it's transferring, but she can hear every breath they take, feel the clouds gathering above them, the ache in her body fading and the endearment Li-Sar felt towards her. The anger she felt when the Trapper tried to attack her. Amusement, disdain, excitement, confusion.
Lust.
“This is but a glimpse of your potential. Of what I can do with and for you. What I can do to you, if you wish it,” she purrs and puts a finger under her chin. The zap that follows feels like a dangerous mix of pleasure and pain, making Zuri shiver and look back up at her. An instruction and a warning.
“Don't you want to discover all you are?”
“I am more than my blood.”
There's conviction in her voice, stained with doubt and desperation. As if it isn't just the world she's trying to convince.
But she is more than that. She has to be. She is more than parts of Rook, more than parts of Rebecca, more than what Murphy did to her.
“But of course.”
“I'm mo-” she blinks, “...I'm sorry, what?”
Another chuckle. She holds her chin between her thumb and index finger. And there's that endearment again.
“Surely you don't think that I chose you over that witch because of your blood?” Li-Sar glances off to the side, her mouth curling in disdain as she sighs. “It is powerful, no doubt. An untapped part of your essence that freed me. But there have been many blood sacrifices - that alone is not enough for someone to share in my power.”
Blood sacrifices? Plural? A strange, specific set of words. Ostin did seem almost reverent when he first saw Li-Sar, seemed to loathe the idea of her being imprisoned. They're practically a deity, so having people worship her isn't far fetched. A cult following wouldn't be either. But Zuri only heard about here recently. Outside of how she handled her arrival and Ostin’s temper tantrum, she hasn't exactly done anything that would be of interest to…a God?
She purses her lips. Li-Sar watches her with half-lidded eyes, amused, as though she can hear the dogs turning in her brain. Her focus shifts down to her lips. Zuri pretends not to see it.
“I wonder what I've done that makes me- makes this different, then.”
“It's not just what you've done but what you would do, if you had the chance. I can see it in your eyes, something ferocious but restrained like-” she rolls her lips together and shakes her head, muttering something in Echolian.
“This English language is inept at describing this. But in all my years, I rarely happened upon someone who has this. But here you are. You, and a woman who calls herself the leader of Rogue Supernaturals.”
Oh shit. Her stomach drops.
“She's spoken to you already? How did she contact you? Did she-”
“Oh hush, there is nothing of importance there,” amusement seeps into her voice as she scoffs. “Nothing to panic over nor be jealous of. She lacks your restraint. It makes her nowhere near as tempting. It is adorable watching your control slip, mortal.”
Dammit. What is with her? Since when can someone she's just met make her fumble like this. Where the hell is her subtlety?
She can't even blame the fight. Li-Sar seems to have healed her wounds again.
God, get it together.
“Your floundering is endearing as well. Almost every part of you is. No need to be embarrassed.”
“I'm not-”
“She wanted to be what you are,” she interrupts and Zuri strains to hold her tongue. “My she’loe-chae'lis, my other-heart, my chosen. And perhaps she would be, if I had not met you first.”
Zuri keeps her eyes trained on her, white-blue against dark brown. Something creeps into her, something like disappointment and the anxiety of something being in jeopardy. Nothing important. Focus. Their blood had mixed when she gave her these powers. Can they be taken away? Could whatever it is that tether them to each other be severed? Would she give it to the Rogue's leader if it could be?
Li-Sar's eyes don't give away a thing. She just watches with what seems like endless patience, like watching the cogs turn is entertaining. Zuri doesn't think she can get any answers that she isn't already willing to share - nothing that really means something to her. Especially now, when she's holding onto anger so tightly that it chaffs and she's still caught in the tension simmering between them.
“You think too much,” she says, cooing again before leaning in close enough for their foreheads to touch. “Don't you see, meor'dal? The humans want to control me and the supernaturals of this world want to be my chosen. But all I want is you.”
Her breath hitches. The anger slips. All that's left is the heat thruming through her and pooling in her abdomen, the nerves fluttering in her stomach, her breath fanning her face, how thin their clothes feel, how they shouldn't be there-
God, it's all she's wanted for as long as she can remember. For someone to want her. To choose her over everything. Over work, over rationale or fear, over something or someone more convenient. To see something in her that's worth staying for, even if they can barely reach it. She almost can, just a few inches shy of reaching in and grazing that all too sensitive spot nestled inside her.
“All I want,” her voice is close to a whisper as she cups her face, “is you, and the world we can shape together.”
But at what cost?
Just…keep it together.
A shaky exhale is all that comes out for a while. A pause. Then eyebrows furrow as she frowns like she might just sob. Zuri shakes her head a bit before resting the back of her head against the tree - she didn't even realise it had moved - and peers up at the sky. The moon peeks out from behind dark red clouds.
She can't just take her at her word. Who knows if this is what she wants and not what she knows makes her weak, feeds some twisted part of her that wants someone to be willing to burn down the world for her.
“I,” the words die in her throat when she meets her gaze again, sees the depthless, unbridled need inside of them… she almost doesn't want to say it but…
She slams her eyes shut and shakes her head again. “No, no, I- I don't want the world.”
“Then what?” Frustration makes the charge between them tremble. Fingers grasp the side of her face in an attempt to make her look at her, as if she'll claw the answer out of her if that's what it takes to have her at her side. Zuri’s eyes open and Li-Sar's face twists. Something close to desperation meets that frustration.
“What do you desire? What is it you crave that you believe I cannot give to you?” A muscle in her jaw twitches as her lips set into a hard line, nose wrinkled and eyes glowing a bright white. “I am already yours as much as you are mine, so tell me!”
A rumble of thunder accompanies the growl in her voice and goosebumps rise on Zuri’s skin, the fear raking down her spine freezing her in her spot.
That's the problem, isn't it? Li-Sar would do whatever it would take to fulfill her, to gain her favour, to crack her open and free the ugliest parts of her from their restraints. She'd protect her from any and every threat, destroy them in a blink of an eye. If she joins her. If she's willing to bury those she loves alongside the power-hungry and greedy. They're nothing To her, after all. Insignificant little things with nothing to offer her. If Li-Sar is hers as Zuri is hers, what good would anyone else be? What would they be but a threat to their bond?
She doesn't want that. She never will. She'd rather go unwanted for the rest of her life than lose her friends, her family, the community she has here in Wayhaven despite everything. There's no answer she can give that is worth never laughing with Tina and Verda again. Or experiencing the world through fresh eyes with Farah. Watching the sunrise in comfortable silence with Morgan. Exchanging books and anecdotes with Nate.
Being the reason Adam lowers his guard and smiles enough for the dimples to show on his face.
Every moment with them plays in her mind like a movie on fast forward. Slows to the day she left a scar on Adam's arm, one that won't heal. It's permanent. Her throat burns. She can't lose them. She won't. Not while she's alive and breathing. She won't be the reason he's hurt again and no one will carry any scars because of her.
Zuri stares back at Li-Sar. Another rumble, another flash of electricity, a crack of lightning, tension tension tension-
She is unwavering, firm. She won't get the answer she wants. At that, the amalgamation of frustration and anger softens into confusion, then fascination, then…she looks impressed? Begrudgingly, but impressed nonetheless.
“Fine,” she scoffs and glances away, a wry smile tugging at her lips. “Keep your secrets while you can. You will speak them freely once you join me.”
She almost slumps in relief, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. This is, what? Their second meeting? Their first full on conversation? And she can toy with her as though she's known her her whole life, push every button, say all the right things. It will never not be weird to be on the receiving end of that.
The air sighs, feeling lighter by the second. But only one type of tension evaporated. The other still lingers, balances on a tightrope.
Li-Sar's gaze flickers between her eyes and her lips, her hand gently cradling her face rather than grasping it tightly. She releases her wrists and Zuri's arms fall to her bare shoulders. Blue currents run down her arms, whirl around Li-Sar's shoulders down to her fingertips. For the first time, she shudders, eyes widening as she continues to watch her with a new intensity.
“...would you grant me this moment?”
Her hushed words hang in the air between them. Zuri blinks up at her. This can't be what she thinks it is. What she hates that she hopes it is.
“...what?”
A thumb caresses her bottom lip, the stinging fading as she does. There's fluttering in her stomach again, warmth in her cheeks, anticipation in her veins.
“I'd like to taste you, if you'd permit me,” a small gasp, and Li-Sar mirrors her, parts her own lips, seconds that feel like minutes pass before she continues. “I will savour however much of you I can have.”
The heat returns with a vengeance at the yearning in her eyes. Oh God. Zuri’s heart might just beat out of her chest. The last kiss she had was both bittersweet and magical and everyday after that has been a test in restraint.
Being alone with Adam was like drowning; his presence is all-encompassing, beautiful, painful, everything it wasn't supposed to be. It was supposed to be easy and fun, her wriggling her way past his walls and getting to see more of him than what the world sees. But he burrowed his way under her skin too and now? Now she's lost her balance, fallen from the edge and things are more complicated than they've ever been. Now she itches to be in his arms again, to run her fingers through the short strands of his hair, to feel his hand on her face and his lips on hers. She finds herself on the verge of begging and pleading for him to share that moment with her.
Just one more kiss, even if he won't have her. Even if they keep dancing around what they have. Even if it's better that way.
And here she is, with an all powerful being who is bold and beautiful and dangerous and wants her. Who isn't afraid of what it could mean or how it could end. She wants her. She could kill her for daring to deny her. But instead she asks for a kiss. Just one kiss, even if she can't have her the way she wants to.
Zuri wraps an arm around her neck and draws her in before she can think. She doesn't want to think - to resist - anymore. She wants it messy and desperate and electric.
Li-Sar chuckles and puts her free hand against the tree, crowding her but preventing her from pulling her any closer. “You will have to use your words. That shouldn't be difficult with that silver tongue of yours.”
She can't say it out loud, it's messed up and embarrassing and-
“May I taste you?”
Her eyebrows furrow, she's holding her breath, her head moves up and down before she can think-
Yesyesyesyes-
“...yeah,” it's shaky when it comes out, mixed with a heavy breath. “Yes…please.”
Li-Sar's eyes flash again, the hand on her cheek sits more securely while the other slowly moves to her waist. She stares at her with wonder and… concern. Their foreheads touch and one of Zuri’s hands leaves her shoulder to brush her hair out of her face. She needs to look at her.
“You have been hurt, haven't you, meor'dal?” She leans in closer, dips her head until the tips of their noses brush, her voice soft but firm. “I promise you this. That ache in your heart? That is something you will never have to bear again. Not when you are with me.”
Zuri is warm all over from the heat inside and against her body. Her hair is soft between her fingers, her scent is dizzying, her breath fans against her face and she is so beautiful. She's beautiful, she's dangerous, she wants her, she isn't him. The light, barely there touch of her lips makes sparks course through her, through her fingers, slice through her thoughts until all that's left are fragments yes, please, I want, need this, kiss me, kiss me, please-
“Zuri?”
Eyes snap open. A hand covers her mouth. Her own shift to her shoulders, balled into fists, pushing her away. The bark pokes at her back and the back of her head.
She doesn't need to glance to the side to see who's there. She'd know that voice anywhere. She looks anyway.
Adam.
Shit.
The rest of Unit Bravo come up from behind him, standing at a distance. Stiff like they all want to run towards her and get Li-Sar as far away from her as possible.
Li-Sar is doing the same.
Her hair stands on end as she stares at them, the static so overwhelming it crackles and pops and stings. Thunder starts rumbling, low and threatening, the backdrop to this standoff. She doesn't look at Zuri when she speaks, her voice echoing through the forest as she speaks. “Which one of them is it?”
Fear floods in and flushes every feeling away. Shit. She could kill them right where they stand. She pushes the hand on her mouth away, gets a tight hold of her wrist.
“Li-Sar, no. Stop.”
“Tell me.”
Farah watches intently. Morgan growls. Nate puts a hand on Adam’s shoulder. He still shifts closer.
“No,” the panic is clear in the rasp of her voice. “Leave them alone.”
“Who-”
“Stop!”
Her voice booms. There's a crack of thunder, a flash of lightning. The vampires cover their ears. Zuri’s hand zips forward, clutches Li-Sar's jaw, forcing her head to turn towards her. Away from them. Something surges through her, mixing with the fear, amplifying the anger and the ugly little thing inside her that gnaws at its cage. She won't watch them be hurt again. Not by either of them. Her fingers dig into her face again, another hiss as her nails pierce her skin. Her mind races with thoughts and images of every way she could stop Li-Sar, each one gorier than the next.
It would be the last thing she lets either of them do.
“You stay away from him,” her voice is as cutting and as loud as the thunder, “from all of them. If you even look in their direction again, you'll lose any chance you had of me being your she’loe-chae'lis.”
She says the word like her Echolian has been fully honed.
Li-Sar stares at her, her face still scrunched in anger, her eyes bright but inspecting. Curious. Piercing like she might call her bluff that there's any chance at all. They dim, and familiar fascination slips through. That, and an impressed smirk.
“As you wish,” she steps away a few seconds after Zuri lets go of her jaw, keeping her eyes on her as she backs away.
She stops at the trees opposite her, places a hand on one, making sure to turn her body away from Unit Bravo when she does.
“Until we next meet, Zuri,” her name echoes before she vanishes in a flash of lightning with a loud crack.
The tree has been split in too, leaves burnt to ash, branches black and smoking.
A warning of what she can do. What she could've done.
Zuri’s feet touch the ground for the first time in ages and her legs buckle.
“Zuri, are you harmed? Are you-”
“Give her a moment, Adam.”
Nate puts a hand on his shoulder again. The four of them get as close as they can while staying out of reach. She looks back at them, leaning back against the tree, panting with a wry smile. They're okay. They're all okay. “A moment would be appreciated.”
“Woah. Your eyes,” Farah stares at her in awe. “Your hair, your voice! Holy shit. Those powers are getting stronger by the day.”
Inhale. Exhale.
“You say that like it's a good thing.”
“It's not a good thing or a bad thing,” she shrugs, “just…a thing. I think.”
Inhale. Exhale.
“When were you gonna tell us that stuff would make your voice that loud?” Morgan joins in, crossing her arms and inspecting her with a concerned frown.
Zuri let's out a short, breathless laugh. “Oh trust me, I would've told you the moment I found out.”
“We do trust you.”
She shakes her head and gives them a weak smile. They're only talking because they know the silence would be worse for her. That noise, no matter how soft, helps her breathe easier.
Inhale. Exhale.
She vaguely feels her earrings lower to their usual position, dangling from her ears. Her clothes loosening around her, back to hugging her figure instead of squeezing it. The magic inside her feels less like a waterfall and more like a small stream, contained and not sparking outward.
It's Nate who speaks next. “How are you feeling, Zee?”
Soothed. Embarrassed. Exhausted. Relieved. Too many things to describe in depth. But she knows one thing.
“You're all okay. You're alright, so I'm good. Tired, but good.”
She straightens up and takes a step towards them. Or really, stumbles towards them. Adam catches her by the elbow and puts a hand on her back. She looks up at him with furrowed brows before looking down at his arm, shying away from his touch. The scar is still there. She hurt him one way and almost hurt him in another.
She almost kissed her.
“Wait, Adam I…”
“It is as you said. We are all alright,” she looks up again and finds him smiling softly. “I am all right.”
Guilt coils inside her chest.
“Let us go home,” he adds softly.
Zuri stares at the split tree, rolling her lips together at the sight. At the images that come with it. The part of her that already misses her and part that wants her gone in a way that's more permanent than a magically powered cell. She nods, leans into him despite how wrong she feels for doing it, and he leads her away.
She needs to just… get away from here.
#my writing#twc#twc book 4#twc fanfic#twc li-sar#twc detective#a du mortain#adam du mortain#li-sar x detective#adam du mortain x detective#oc: zuri jackson#zuri x adam#i did what i could with what i had#especially when it came to the solar powers lmao they might be giving more storm powers but hey#i tried#what's most important here is the TOXIC YURI#and zuri's mind being a little unhinged#i think about the option in book one that lets the detective say 'is losing morals part of basic training at the agency?' and laugh#because shit dude look at your thoughts - it just might be lmaooo#i also forgot to mention that this is basically the start of a love triangle with the way i wrote it
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#man yosuke really? more scared than when your own life was in danger in the tv world when your shadow was lashing out?#when you didnt have a persona and you didnt think anyone would do anything to help you?#(i believe it. it's just like yosuke to be like that.)#chewing glass at how invested hes become in nanako and in yu's family I'm honestly just#of course everyone wss terrified for nanako but yosuke describing it as the most terrified hes ever been is really just#also man i wonder what he was going to say when he started trailing off#i bet he was going to say something about how devastated yu was but thought better of it#and im#I feel like for yosuke in that moment when nanako was missing and his partner was emotionally distraught#he must have felt so helpless too#throughout the entire year yosuke took each kidnapping really personally he kept seeing it as a personal failure on his part#when he said he wasnt smart enough or good enough to prevent it even when he knew it was coming#and then to have it happen to someone close#i think yosuke definitely felt all of yu's pain#but he also felt the pain of not being able to do anything more for yu while yu was emotionally falling apart#like hes not just let nanako down but also his best friend too and IM JUST#ok im shutting up now bye#he's good with his queue
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Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.
He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.
#dia talks#princess tutu#He probably starts planning on writing Ahiru into the world mayyybe like 3-4 months into his recovery#he doesn't know what a cell phone is yet but he sure as hell can look at a bookstore and ask for a notebook and pens#i bet that first year in Goldenkröne must be hell because trading deals bring all sorts of new things into the town#Just Fakir going “what the fuck is a scooter?? Wait what's a CAR---”#he ends up having to read a bunch of newspaper articles about “Goldenkröne booming in German tourism!”#Actually does he even know his country's name... Did they all even know they lived in Germany and not JUST a city????#Drosselmeyer would've really pulled one on them for only talking about the city and its outskirts and NOT the country it resided in#But let's assume they did know. Fakir would have to figure out so much has changed in 2002 Germany compared to whatever time they were in#My god just thinking about the thought of Fakir learning what a television is... or a radio for that matter has me howling internally#local amateur writer is put into a coma after hearing for the very first time german rapper Sido#alternatively: local amateur writer's brain explodes after hearing german Happycore artist Blümchen and dance pop group No Angels#ptutu spoiler#i know its a +20 old show but just in case people wanna watch it i love it enough to tag the post show headcanon#ptutu analysis#ptutu headcanon#ptutu post canon#Also sorry i keep jumbling between Goldkröne and Goldenkröne in the writing its 4 AM and the german part of my brain is a mess lmao#(its supposed to be Goldkröne but for some reason I keep making it into the attribute word Golden so dont mind the mistake)#(if you do i will sob please be gentle towards my polyglot self)
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im supposed to be studying
#resident evil#resident evil 4#ada wong#I ACCIDENTALLY MADE THIS CANVAS SO SMALL SO I HAD TO RESIZE AND NOW ITS BLURRY AHHHHHHHH#its fine but ITS NOT FINE IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH LOL#i had to switch mice for this. the other one was so slippery. i dunno if its because its wireless or whatever. that boy go NYOOM#changing the settings didnt help.#anyway. last week i finished the mercenaries and got leons rpd outfit. it was hell. it wasnt but i was in a rush so it was#i think after everything my favorite is still ada cause that grapple gun is everything. the hardest for me was krauser#krauser should have been the easiest cause you just knife everything but i kept slashing dynamite and had to redo the village like 10 times#it was absolute ass. he's the most broken character why would they do that to me#and then immediately after i started on my separate ways professional S+#its funny someone said the S+ was harder than base game. base game's pro S+ burnt me out so bad#i didnt touch the game for months afterward. separate ways S+ was a cake walk after. you dont even have to fight krauser ovo)b#the most difficult parts are probably the double garradors and the countdown to get to leon at the end#immediately after i got all my achievements I was plunged into a depression like no other. plus i had a discrete math midterm on friday#i am SO SAD. WHO WAS I BEFORE SEPARATE WAYS#i did the same silly thing i did when i drew Link. the shine in her hair says 'Ada' because i have to derive joy from somewhere
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Akira can be invited literally anywhere and enjoy himself bc he just likes hanging w his friends all the time; hes the perfect parallel play buddy :) makes me think he was a bit of a social butterfly even before the Shido incident; he gets more energy being around his friends than being cooped up alone in that attic
#chattin#akira#im sure he had like. a couple of decent friends#and tons of people who knew him and vibed w him#back home#but popularity means that connections are usually shallow#and getting put on probation would definitely make them cut ties#or have their parents cut ties w him#now that hes in a new school and new place; hes gotta start off from scratch#but it comes p naturally to him; he LIKES people and he knows what to say (for the most part)#on the topic; i do think this would be a good explanation for why hed be good at interrogating shadows#he reads the room and knows what to say to get the outcome he wants#hes just very keen on ppl and their wants and needs; even if its vague info at first#he craves connections so badly; and hell say what he needs to make the ppl he likes stay w him#its like. a little manipulative. he cant really help that; theres still trust to be earned#but he drops it fairly quickly when he realizes he doesnt need to Work to keep these ppl around him#being around popular crowds means u gotta watch out for lies and deceit; ppl using u to boost themselves#but w the thieves and assorted confidants; theres no fear of that. he gets to just be akira#the guy who likes being invited to group hangouts so he can sit and silently stare at them for 4 hours straight#and have no expectations to talk and mingle#and he does talk and mingle. but he likes to just have them next to him. so hes content either way
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thinking about nami's backstory and how she begged for help twice, and both times ended up with Gen getting beat up and sliced to ribbons, as well as the rest of the villagers getting attacked as nami watched in horror, and this was after watching her mother get shot in the head
then later on in arlong park, she watched as several marine ships came to try to help and watched as arlong and the fishman pirates sank each and every one of them before the navy stopped sending help altogether and in just a few hours nami realized that she can no longer ask for help, it won't successfully come without lose of life of either random people or those she cares about
so at that moment she decided that she can't rely on anyone, can't ask for help lest they get attacked, and that she is completely and utterly on her own
and then comes in luffy and the straw hats, determined to help, but i think it's important here to know that luffy waits until nami asks for it, something she was avoiding until arlong backed her into a corner and everyone she loves was about to be killed despite all her effort and struggles
asking for help meant death to whoever would, but not asking for help would lead to the deaths of those she was trying to protect
so she asked
#one piece#i had to reread arlong park like 4 times bc of the zoro project and every single time i was bawling like a baby#just argh#one piece is so good#and sometimes i see people misunderstanding this part or thinking nami was weak for it and im just#no you dont understand#she couldnt ask for help because she didnt want luffy and the others to get killed by arlong#because that's what she associates asking for help with because she watched what happened when she did the same day her mother got killed#she doesnt want them to die!!#she doesnt want her village to be killed either!#she couldve easily run out to sea and abandoned them if she wanted to free herself but she didnt#because she loves her village#she put herself in danger for them and didnt get to live a normal childhood as she started to go out and rob other pirates for money#she would be gone for weeks and months but she always came back#even if coming back meant being near who killed her mother and ruined her life#just augh#nami....
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i'm going to need about a week to process peaceful property coming to an end (but i was always going to need about a week to process that) and the places where the story went eventually and what i think about it in detail but right now, in this moment, right after finishing episode 12, truly genuinely my major emotion is just overwhelming love & relief. they stuck the landing for me. the gang including suradech lives and HAS a home but is also building one, together, in a way that involves more ghost cooking. and also more cok long! and that's honestly 99% of what i needed most from this finale by this point
#i've spent all of yesterday and today SO nervous and right up until the start of [4/4] everything was SO TENSE#and now i think i just want to watch the winding down parts of [4/4] again. and breathe happy sighs of relief <3#*#peaceful property
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[ID start: Various digital sketches of Imagination Movers characters: Nina, Dave, Scott, Smitty and Rich. End ID.]
#moversposting#whiteboard sketches as warmup! kinda!#drew them from memory (except i looked up nina a few times) so it's like a fun little exercise#i was also rushing a bit so the sketches are lesser in quantity in the later pics lol#i don't remember how to draw a cowboy hat so could not draw smitty any further. since it's integral to his design lol#i guess i've only drawn rich and dave but i still need to study their hairstyles cuz i'm not that satisfied with em just yet#anyway you wanna know smthing. for some reason i couldn't draw them on my usual art software so when thinking about it#it felt like there were tiny movers in my head trying to solve the problem cuz it's like: ok whats causing this? maybe there's#not enough refs needed to draw them accurately and it's difficult starting from there? ok so we just do by memory. so#why are we still not drawing? maybe we don't know where to start cuz theres too many colour choices. and then bam- decided to#doodle on whiteboard for starters. just drawing them from what I know and limited colour options. idea emergency solved yeahh 🙌#ok that's all haha 4 movers have taken over a part of my brain processing perhaps.. the problem-solving part specifically#what am i yapping about !!!!!#my scribblings
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