#just something that i’ve been seeing a lot on social media AND irl

[boujiestpoet]

STARCROSSED (charles leclerc x oc)

SOCIAL MEDIA/NEWS CHAPTER 2

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MASTERLIST

Summary: Is it a pr suicide to post criptic messages

FACECLAIM: The extraordinary Tems

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE CHARACTERS DOES NOT REFLECT THE REAL PERSONALITIES OF THE INDIVIDUAL UPON WHOM THEY ARE BASED. I AM MERELY BORROWING THEIR PHYSICAL LIKENESS AND THE PROFESSION THEY HAVE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS NARRATIVE

TW: Cringiness from the writer, grammatical errors (have mercy english is my semi firsr language)

renee_bennett

like by reneerapp, normani, cocojones and others

renee_bennett: I justcame back from Norway as promised, here's the first part of the photo dump

This users have deactivated the comments.........

charles_leclerc

like by ferrari and others

"Hey everyone, I wish I didn't have to write this, but I owe it to you, my amazing fans, to be honest about something personal. It’s with a heavy heart that I need to share some news. After a lot of thought, Leah and I have decided to end our relationship. This isn’t something I ever imagined saying, and it’s not easy.

Many of you know how much I cared for Leah. We shared so many memories, laughs, and incredible moments together. But sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and I’ve learned some things that left me blindsided. I found out that Leah had been seeing someone else behind my back – a model named Ben Fields. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

I never saw this coming, and it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. As much as it hurts, I’m trying to move forward with dignity, staying focused on my career and the people who have always had my back. Trust is something I value deeply, and it’s something I’ll never compromise on.

I just want to say thank you to all of you who have shown us support over the years. I ask for privacy as I try to heal and process everything. I’ll always be grateful for your love, and I promise to keep giving my best on and off the track.

Stay kind. Stay true. And keep racing. 💔

This users have deactivated the comments.........

Author's Note: I'm back with another chapter I saw that in the real life chapter is not getting alot of views, that's fine, I'm having fun. So probably I will blend smau chapter with the irl chapter. If you guys have any advice, advice is welcomed.

[minniiaa]

Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss

Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).

The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).

So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.

First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.

There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:

The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.

BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)

Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.

HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.

As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.

For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)

[phregnancy]

Sometimes I read bottom Dan fic from a few years ago and I'm like "who are these people?" lol. It's like people totally disregarded Phil's personality in order for him to fit the stereotypical mold they'd cast him in. It was the same for Dan tbh. Lbr the only reason why people thought Dan was the bottom is bc he's younger and more outwardly feminine than Phil. The idea that bottom= submissive and top= dominate is flawed anyway, but also...Dan is not submissive. He's quite bossy and controlling. In the past, I'd even say he could be domineering. I don't see their dynamic as even being Dom/sub tbh. It's more of a playful power struggle. Except Dan fights by asserting dominance and Phil fights by being cute and whining until Dan gives in or being an absolute menace and annoying Dan into submission lmao

rewriting this for the third time because my app keeps refreshing </3 but i agree with alllll of this. putting it under a cut because i got way off course and went on a tangent lol

someone recently said that they can tell who of us have been actively engaged in diverse irl queer communities (clubs, bars, sports leagues, activism groups, etc) vs who of us haven’t and i’ve been thinking about that a lot in regards to this. obviously nothing wrong with not engaging with your irl queer communities, some people don’t have access or don’t feel comfortable or simply don’t want to and all of that is fine - but you do have to work harder to unlearn a lot of heteronormative concepts like these and you have to familiarize yourself with queer culture and history (outside of social media). people’s outward presentations of masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with their sexual preferences, and dan has shared that exact sentiment in so many words (wondering if people think he’s a bottom because he’s slightly more feminine, and then discouraging that narrative as a whole). i also think there was a lot of hyperbolizing with their masculine and feminine presentations, because for a long time dan really was not that feminine and phil really was not that masculine. they were both emo nerd boys who played video games and drank too much soda. even now with personas like sister daniel, that really is not the height of femininity in queer culture or drag culture.

i think there’s also something to be said about people’s lack of familiarity with queer culture showing in people’s thoughts on them being in an open relationship and also 2009 bottom dan.

i don’t particularly care about the open relationship discourse one way or another, but a lot of mlm relationships are open. there are studies and statistics on this, gay men are the most comfortable and open to open relationships. if they hooked up with people when dan was touring or even just someone every now and then, it wouldn’t be as shocking as some people make it out to be. i also think there’s a problem with people conflating open relationships with polyamory, and those two things are often very different. people in open relationships tend to be committed to each other, but will sometimes want to have noncommittal sex with other people. polyamory is having multiple committed relationships (romantic or sexual). clingy phil and possessive dan having noncommittal sex with other people wouldn’t change that they’re still clingy x possessive. and if you’re actively engaged in irl queer communities vs online echo chambers you’ll learn this.

i’m getting way off course here lol but then in regards to people thinking 2009 dan was bottoming as a default, that’s been a pet peeve of mine since forever because it shows a lack of familiarity with mlm relationships. it’s extremely unlikely that dan’s first gay sexual experiences were being on the receiving end of anal sex, that takes time to get used to (with yourself and with a partner) and often isn’t most men’s first gay sexual position. they also weren’t together long enough until phil got his first apartment to have dan be familiar enough with anal to take phil’s dick every time he visited. i know everyone thinks little twink dan taking phil’s big dick is so hot, but big dicks can be painful and are something you work yourselves towards. and y’know, who knows what actually went on in that bedroom so much cherry everywhere, but i do think we should dispel some of these beliefs that again are playing into heteronormativity (little feminine dan taking big masculine emo phil)

dan has always been bossy and controlling and he was quite confident with the people he was comfortable around (phil + other youtubers + his audience) and then grew to be a confident person in general. i see them as a real brat x brat relationship with them being bratty in different ways (bossy/teasing vs whiney/pushing buttons).

here’s my last thing (thanks for reading this novel if you made it this far) - there is a difference between knowing all of this, and still just preferring bottom sub dan x top dom phil because you think it’s hot, vs believing there’s no other dynamics that could exist because of heteronormative stereotypes that you are actively playing into. like what you like and have fun! but please work on educating yourself and unlearning heteronormativity. sorry for the spiel!

[yamayuandadu]

Hisami and Zanmu. What drives their love for each other? Does Hisami just like egotistical oni? Do they go on dates? Do they ever cuddle? Would Hisami prefer if Zanmu kissed her or scolded her? Both, maybe?

A truly profound set of questions. Sorry it took me so long to answer them, I haven’t been on social media much lately. I didn’t lose enthusiasm for this pairing or anything - my general interest in Touhou might fluctuate, but I’m fairly sure that much like in the case of junheca my interest in Zanmu and Hisami is here to stay.

I won’t bring much new to the world of zanhisa discourse with this but like many people I like the idea that Zanmu enjoys the fact she can’t fully account for what Hisami does. This idea simply has a lot of comedic potential. Maybe she enjoys the element of uncertainty this introduces to her plans, specifically. Surely it can boost her ego if her plans work even if she is not in full control of some element. And there’s no way Hisami isn’t doing some sort of cartoon villain sidekick yes-man routine during the planning stages (which doubtlessly also provides the desired ego boosts). To put it sort of bluntly, I also think Zanmu is into Hisami on the level of physical attraction. She’s supposed to be a corrupt monk, her irl counterpart according to a legend associated with Ikkyu who famously wrote love poetry and had multiple relationships over the course of his life, there’s no way she doesn’t experience it on some level imo. On a relevant note, it would be cute if Hisami’s title was essentially her memorializing something Zanmu said about her early on after they met. On Hisami’s side, ever since I read about the riveting academic arguments over whether it’s defensible to call yomotsu-shikome forerunners of oni I’ve been thinking about how to adapt that with her character in mind. What I have to offer is that she originally developed feelings for Zanmu in no small part because they share the unusual “sort of kind of oni but you can poke holes in this claim” status (logically Zanmu should be a tengu, that’s the default path for corrupt monks, I would really love to see that referenced at some point). Otherwise she’s just been assigned henchman at birth, and Zanmu lets her truly utilize her talents to follow this calling. 

I like to interpret the game’s events as a pivotal point in their relationship so imo they WILL go on dates at some point at the very least - Hisami’s ending is essentially the first one as far as my headcanons are concerned. I do think they cuddle though. Perhaps more, even. Hisami occupies the position of a henchman with benefits.

Last but not least, clearly a combination of both is optimal. I have some more relevant thoughts pertaining to that that I will spare the readers from (for now).

[kathairoette]

yo.

I got an announcement to make.

I’m taking a break. Blep.

And no, it doesn’t mean I’m leaving forever haha, but I’m definitely taking a stop from fandom. It’s for a lot of reasons, the kind of small ones that accumulate to something big, until you just go “You know what? We should stop. Let’s just go.”

First is IRL stuff, responsibilities. Things are changing and I need to take some time to focus on it. Second is skill. While I know I’m not bad, I wish I was… better? A common sentiment for artists ofc, but I want to brush up on my fundamentals and really tighten up my skills. My hope’s that when I come back, I can make more things that are interesting and meaningful. That my work can be things that you and I are both interested in.

Second is my experience in fandom for the last few months. I’ve been doing this for a while, 6-7 years-ish. And it’s sort of lost the magic for me? Sometimes it feels as if what I made had no real impact at all: That all my work’s good for is a quick scroll through and that’s it. It’s how social media works, esp fandom’s, but it’s also kind of painful, you know? And I grew quite lonely because of it, and seeing other people cheer on one another so vividly, publicly or privately or otherwise, felt very saddening. I don’t think I’ve ever felt jealousy like that until now.

So I kinda need to leave pfft. Such thoughts aren’t good for me, and I never want to think bad of fellow fans. But before I truly did, I got to know some people. They were kind and willing to play with me, and so my heart did not hurt so much anymore. And all you people who do come around here too! Whether its from @kathairoscloset or here, you remind me that it’s not as bad as it seems, that you are interested in seeing what I’ll do. It’s important, and I wish I could hear some of your voices even more. But I appreciate it, I really do! Thank you.

I hope that when I come back, I can be a better person and artist than what I was yesterday. I want to, I really do. And I hope you all stay good people too! Here’s to a better year, I wish you all the best.

[wygolvillage]

a new year's resolution

well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.

ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.

finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict

and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!

and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.

and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.

since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.

and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!

so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.

over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.

i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.

you can still keep up with me online here:

-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...

you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?

you can also email me at wygolvillage@gmail.com to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord

thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3

[kikithegr8]

Rant for my cyber gangsters…

So I had an anonymous person try to tell me I’m racist against Asians and then say something about me not liking Lucas because I’m racist or whatever. I deleted the post because honestly I felt like entertaining it was beneath me but now that I have some time I wish I hadn’t because this seems like an opportunity for a teaching moment…

So first of all these characters aren’t real. If someone doesn’t like a character it’s real weird when people get offended. Imagine if in real life we all had the same type. A lot of y’all would be single because you’re bitter and can’t compete so lucky for you that’s not the case.

If I’m completely honest I’m less likely to choose white characters simply because I’m less likely to relate to white characters culturally. LITG S3 Bill is probably the antithesis of what I’d be interested in, guys like Gary, and Eddie are physically attractive, but I’ve never had a white guy as my end game. That being said if there are white people who are not interested in people of color that’s fine by me but keep it real. Don’t try to insult all characters of color just acknowledge your preference.

As it relates to Lucas I initially thought he was gorgeous and humble and rich and bougie in a good way. I like to get dressed up and go to nice restaurants IRL so I thought we’d be perfect together. He was a sophisticated doctor with a little edge to him. Plus he has a bike and is outdoorsy ish but I think would be down for glamping. I’ve been around people where my personality is too much, and I’ve been around people where I feel like I’m not enough as a person and that is okay, those are not my people. Lucas triggered something that made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Idk if it was when I tried to kiss him after we ate and he rejected me, or that I wanted children and he didn’t, or if it was that I felt pressure to take him back when he returned but something didn’t sit right with me. He was my end game but I took the money. The issues I had with Lucas I don’t associate with him being Asian.

The only complaint I have against Jin is that I told him I messed around in casa, he saw me mess around in casa several times and he just accepted it. If he had a little more self respect about him I’d still be on the fence but that made me lose interest. Of course if I didn’t fool around in the first place we wouldn’t be here so my violation is 10x worse than his. There are people complaining he led Sienna on. He’s 22. He was being nice. Maybe even keeping his options open. I don’t care. As a woman, always check to see if your man keeps that same energy when different people are around. If he switches up, that’s not your man. Sienna is dumb.

I can’t look at someone and tell whether they are Brazilian, Spanish, or Puerto Rican. I can’t look at someone and tell whether they are from Niger, or Morocco, or Zimbabwe. I can’t look at someone and tell whether they are Chinese, Vietnamese, or Japanese. Someone tried to tell me I’m racist against East Asians (probably the same person). Sweetie you are vastly overestimating my geographical capabilities.

Anyway let’s breakdown the definition of racism, shall we?

I don’t bother to check the ancestry for Black or white people, I don’t think Black or white people care honestly. I’m quite sure I’ve used someone with Irish ancestry to represent someone who actually had Scottish ancestry or someone with Nigerian ancestry to represent someone with Ghanaian ancestry. I know I’ve used someone with Mexican ancestry to represent someone with Brazilian ancestry and someone with Filipino ancestry to represent someone with Japanese ancestry. So if I’m treating everyone the same irrespective of race does that meet the definition of racism? I don’t discriminate.

For the anonymous people out in social media who make ridiculous accusations about people’s character, I’m not sure what your goal is. If you are out here trying to hurt feelings, let it be known 1. I’m not out here seeking validation from people who aren’t valid. In other words people who are anonymous bullies. I’m grown grown. Idk what in the after school special is going on but I don’t do bullies. 2. I’m real big on self awareness. There is not much anyone can say to massage or bruise my ego. 3. I have to actually respect you for your opinion to mean anything. Someone actually respectfully reached out and I decided that was enough for me to pull back from doing face claims (the boy I pulled for Jin is fine too, but whatever, noted. I’m just trying to bring joy by sharing pics of cute boys but if it’s causing discomfort then I’m gonna chill on that). 4. The way you interact with people is so much more of a reflection of who you are than who they are. So why you are out here anonymously making crazy accusations what does that say about you? Perhaps your time would be better spent unpacking that.

Keep trying me if you want to, please know I am not moved nor bothered.

Otherwise if someone wants to engage in a conversation or has respectful constructive criticism please respond. I genuinely am interested in your perspective and want to see what you have to say. I know I’m not perfect. I have plenty of room to grow. I love interacting with people from different ethnic, racial, or national backgrounds because I can learn from different perspectives.✌🏽🫶🏽

[nights-at-crystarium]

Okay, the recent surge of new followers thanks to the twitter exodus, and now your boy Vivien Fucksalot Rell on the tumblr radar, has me wanting to make some kinda welcome post.

The face of a man who made it to the tumblr radar for the first time C:

Who’s this guy you just saw? Yeah, first and foremost, it’s a cis male, he’s just full of gay and Gender (tm) \o/

Vivi is my WoL who I ship with G’raha Tia and I like to make it everyone’s problem. He’s the main character of the fancomic Fragments that I started this summer. I love ShB so much that I’ve decided to dedicate the next few years of my life to drawing and writing about it. And I believe I’ve got what it takes to tell a story that, in equal amounts, will entertain and break you 🖤

Vivi was tailor-made to interact with G’raha. I’m an experienced oc maker and, how to put it, character chemist? Give me two characters with some fun traits, like the base ingredients for a cocktail, I’ll toss them in a blender, shake it real good, and make the magical chemistry happen. My wolgraha ship is almost 1 year old at this point, I’m still spending every day thinking about them and writing down A LOT of things, random art ideas, fics, and, of course, the comic script, so.. Yeah it’s a good cocktail.

I’m keeping most of the Vivi things close to my heart since you’re yet to learn about him in Fragments. That’s the whole point. But the non-spoilery material is already fun enough imo. You take a look at him and you see: edge, intensity, duality, gremlin, idiot.

He was made in December 2021, got decently developed as a character by April 2022, kept getting more polished since then. I wanna make another post talking about him in a month or so, on his first birthday. For now please perceive him being the fun lil guy he is C:

What about the person behind it all though? My artist username is NextLVL, my own name is Aho or Vel, nb, he/they, a 32 years old self-taught artist who has a bit too much to deal with irl, and I’m holding on to my wolgraha obsession as the only means to stay sane. These guys are my everything. Seriously. Fragments is my first big project that so far has been incredibly validating for me as an artist, and that has given me hope to work on it fulltime thanks to my Patreon. Yes, plugging it because I’ve gotta eat. I’m earning for my living with my art, recent events in the social media sphere have thrown my livelihood into an even greater risk territory. I literally don’t know if I still can earn for my living tomorrow. So, I’ve been pushing my Patreon which looks like the safest and most stable option atm.

Here’s a “nutshell” for how I feel as an artist. Look, I didn’t say it, others did.

I’m working hard to bring something beautiful to the world that’s just an unceasing dumpster fire nowadays. I’m under a METRIC TON of mental pressure, yet I still manage to isolate from it and keep arting, for you and for myself. So yeah.. Thanks for looking, hope you like what I create. If you like it so much that you wanna support me, it’d mean literally everything to me. Thank you 🖤

[teen-safe-space]

do you have any advice on how to deal with people picking on you in school? (Teachers don’t do anything about it) (I’ve tried to ignore them and tell teachers, but they keep picking on me and my friends) sorry for bothering y’all

Heyo! Cerulean here. First of all, you’re not bothering us, it’s literally the reason we (well, I) made the blog. Second of all, I’m so sorry this is happening, people suck.

So whenever I’ve been bullied/picked on in the past it’s only ever been online, and they never had the guts to say anything to my face, so I’m not really the best person to help if a lot of your problems are happening irl. But, try to block them on everything, their number and all their social media accounts you know of, and have any of your affected friends do the same. If they make another account or send something to you anonymously to bully you, just delete it immediately. It’s not worth responding to. (Don’t make the same mistake i did).

I’m not the best person for this, and I’m not sure yet if the other mods can see the blog’s asks, so mods if you see this and have something to add on, please respond!

@your-gay-emo-cousin @mentally-unstable-childofhades @sunshine-in-the-waves

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I want to quit a03 and just delete all my current fanfictions, i haven’t updated any of them in months. I’m tired lol. The main reason why is I haven’t been getting a lot of interactions on my recent stuff and Ik that’s not the point of writing fanfics but idk it’s a nice from motivation. I’m an attention whore, sue me.

What i’m asking i guess is how do u stay motivated??? I have a lot of ideas for things but no drive to make them a reality.

(You probably can tell who i am from this lol but its kinda embarrassing so i wanted to keep it anon)

Oh dude I absolutely get it, for real. While we ultimately write for ourselves, a lack of engagement is REALLY discouraging! I’ve said before that I went through a REAL mental struggle writing The Webs In The Rafters specifically, and that still stands. I had a lot of super nice commenters, and that helped a lot, but it was so, so, sucky to see no engagement other than the same six people. As grateful as I was for them, I really wanted more interaction. I’d see the comment count go up, but no new kudos, and I’d feel like I was failing.

I almost dropped that fic. The only reason I didn’t was my dearest boxwinebaddie regularly doing cartwheels in the comments and messaging me about the story. Encouragement from an author you admire helps SO MUCH and I want to be that person to someone someday!!! The community of ao3 can be toxic, for sure, but it’s so kickass to see the same handful of people in someone’s comms every time you read something from a certain writer!

And man, I am absolutely an attention whore. I thrive on attention. I may be an agoraphobic asshole with no friends other than my partner irl and I may literally panic so bad that I faint when I get spoken to, but we are HUMAN!!! Validation is fucking NICE!!! Being a person sucks absolute ass and confirmation that we’re doing something right helps a lot!

The only advice I have on staying motivated: I’m just fuckin insane. And I’ve said before that the ONLY reason I started writing was bc I had an extremely specific set of tags I wanted to see. I wanted to see more style injury recovery and at the time, a lot of the style fics out there were literally just boring high school aus or Stan being suicidal and I was like helll no let’s switch it up! So I assumed my mission of renovating that ship tag. I wanted sot style h/c with an ungodly amount of comfort? I was gonna have to write it. And that expanded to all aus. I developed the OrangeJuiceVerse specifically with the message of healing as the central theme. And it means so much to me. What I’m getting at is that your work really does have to have something there that’s important to you. If it’s just all random drama with no reconciliation, it’ll be really draining on you and fall flat in your mentality surrounding it.

Another thing is: if you don’t feel like updating, DONT! It’s fanfiction. It’s something you’re putting on the Internet for free. If you aren’t 100% happy with a chapter, there is no obligation to post it! Also, if you aren’t feeling up to working on a wip, mentally or physically, you don’t have to! Come back to it when you are!

On obligation, something I struggle with is my own self imposed habit of daily updates on multichapters. I usually go really wild when I start a new au, and I’ll write for it every day. But for instance, right now, it’s been a couple since I’ve posted a new chap on In The Truly Gruesome. And I have felt some guilt about that, bc I’ve sort of garnered this reputation as someone who updates frequently on multichaps, but I haven’t been feeling so great, so writing isn’t my top priority. A couple lines here and there are what I can manage, and that’s okay! Again, it’s fanfiction. Ultimately, it matters to us as the author, the story can mean the world to us, but we shouldn’t feel obligated to update, because above all we are PEOPLE with LIVES!!!

It’s also important to remember not to treat ao3 as social media. Yes it’s kickass to form a community of like minded authors who all support each others stuff, but it isn’t something that should be expected. And I CANNOT stress enough how important it is not to feel obligated to work on something just bc someone wants you too. I’m a hypocrite, yeah, considering I had no intention of continuing my TFBW oneshot “We Did It We Are A Good Team” until I had someone commenting on my unrelated works asking for a second chapter. I don’t regret writing ch 2, btw, like im really happy with it, but I did cave under pressure to some degree. And that’s not something we should do when writing. Write for YOURSELF and (unless you’re doing an ask book or something) NO ONE ELSE!!!

That’s what I got my dude. If you feel strongly about what you’re writing, by all means write it. If you don’t, don’t feel obligated. I hope this helped!

[bookish-bogwitch]

Hi.

I haven’t really used this blog much for personal, non-fandom stuff, but thought I’d share an update. CW: mental health and depression.

This past winter I hit the rock bottom what was, in hindsight, a major depressive episode that I’d been experiencing for years. I had no energy, no ability to connect wanting to do something with actually doing it. I was crying all the time and hating myself.

I had a job that I’d once loved—public defense—but that after twelve years had taken its toll. The traumas had started outweighing the triumphs. Between that, and becoming a caretaker for a disabled family member, and random brain chemistry, I’d been on a mostly downward spiral since before the pandemic started.

If I came across as upbeat, it’s because fandom was the one place I could still tap into playfulness and joy. I’d crack myself up online while walking around with a flat affect. There’s nothing wrong with using a hobby to cheer yourself up, but it was such a sharp contrast.

And then there was the doomscrolling. It’s just bad for my brain. The pornbot boondoggle drove this home because I was spending hours a day on here and feeling proportionately crazed. (Note to past self: yes you’re very clever, here’s a pat on the head, but two days of pornbots would’ve been just as funny as twelve.) By the time it ended I was falling apart. Something had to give. I changed my Tumblr password to a random key smash and logged out.

But fandom isn’t bad for mental health just because social media is. I am doing so, so, so much better now, and I credit a lot of it to this fandom. Quitting public defense was scary because my whole identity was bound up in being a public defender--but now I know I’m also a writer. My closest friends had previously been my work friends, and I didn’t know if those relationships would survive if I left--but I knew my fandom friendships would.

Fandom also helped more directly too, by connecting me with friends who all but literally held my hand while I cried and looked for a therapist. Who shared their experiences of depression and recovery and antidepressants. Who cheered on my job hunt, which I couldn’t share with IRL friends until I was ready to give notice. You guys know who you are and I love you.

(Also, shoutout the CO trilogy itself and especially AWTWB for convincing me that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It would be too much for anyone.)

Between quitting my old job and starting an antidepressant, it’s felt like flipping a switch. I have energy that I thought I'd just lost as part of the aging process. The new job is occasionally interesting, never dramatic, and completely harmless. It feels vaguely useful but never essential. It feels getting forklift certified after being at war. I love it.

Anyhoo. I’ve been putting off coming back on Tumblr. Even though I’ve had countless genuine, loving interactions on here, I really don’t know if I can have a healthy relationship with the hellsite. I’m writing again and want to share my stuff and cheer you on, but moderation is not my strength. Maybe I’ll try some WIP tagging to see if that feels possible to do occasionally and not obsessively.

Social media is the worst, but you are the best. I’m bbbogwitch on discord���reach out any time. Especially if you’re struggling with depression or helping-profession burnout or caretaker blues. You’re not alone.

[director-phobos]

I don’t wanna be clocked as the “I’m better than you disabled type” for saying this, so please don’t go there. But I feel like people do have a problem with getting way too comfortable in their misery over the years here and I hope people see what I mean one day. Back when I was miserable myself and didn’t have the resources I do now, I used to get angry at those who said I’m capable of “doing more” or related but after receiving the help I’ve needed I’ve come to realize its a kind of fucked how normalized its been in these spaces to just.. use specific experiences or illnesses as a scapegoat? For a lack of better words. I used to do it but again, it’s normalized here I guess.. we’re capable of so much more and I’m growing more and more tired of the “I’m x so I can’t do x” thing..

I’m diagnosed with various things, some expected some new, I’ve been through heaps of traumatizing both irl and online situations resulting in the cptsd, chronic depression, BPD, some sort of dissociative disorder etc all being treated. What gets me though, is I see people experience way more mild things that they end up intensely identify with and blaming it or a few bad experiences on every negative trait they have, and don’t try and change anything. A lot of the time leading to misdiagnosing themselves as well with something serious, and yeah, I get mad about it. I get that people don’t all experience things the same but the same awwrghwk729191

The more I see this sort of thing taken happen between mutuals/acquaintances etc after I provide my insight the more (unreasonably?) angry I get? Because in my mind I guess people should know better but at the same time they haven’t been “enlightened” like I have so to speak. I’ve helped a couple of people, but some are so, so stuck in the “I’m this so I can’t do that or be expected to” thing and I only see this mindset in people who are very stuck on social media. I do not see this in people who are more “offline” or focus more on projects/friends/etc who have been through a lot like I have as well.

And just like. Dude.

[CW experience dump of unpleasantness];

If I can go through 13ish years of back to back domestic violence, witnessing my parent trying to kill themself multiple times, being woken up to screaming at 1am almost every day for months at one point, see people get beat, get beaten myself, have someone try to run me/family over twice, have a sibling die, endure s/a and on top of that be sent through multiple manipulators online after thinking I was through it all; I’m sure others with more “mild” problems in comparison they’ve ever went through can pull out of the “I’m so constantly drained and I can’t do xyz thing,” like I have, with work. But they have to really want it, when I get angry is when I see someone perfectly capable of using those resources and they don’t, but instead sink more into the “I can’t to blah” mindset.

I guess yeah there’s no hiding that this is a direct nod towards something that happened to me/someone recently, but nothing would change even if I dumped my feelings which I’ve done way too much of and itd always amount to nothing sooo instead I’ll just dump about what I see it all relating to in online phenomena. I’ll never be satisfied with how a friendship fell apart because of [the everything], and I could explain my pov further but I don’t want to get anymore specific than I am + I’m all around very certain it all culminates to this sort of thing. Out of all the worries I have recently reflecting on this is the only upsetting thing I’ve really been through recently besides random works issues and I think this will plague me for a long, long time. Wegh

Ty for the like attention span of idk 3 peanuts of my 50-ish followers who would read this post 🏓

[wishcamper]

No question just reminding you that your writing makes a difference and I love both your analysis series and your fic! If it's something you're interested in exploring, I would love to hear your thoughts on how pop psychology and over reliance on short form content lead to community issues. For years there's been a trend of people with surface level knowledge using out of context buzzwords to police and shame people who dare have symptoms they're not 100% in control of.

Wow, such a kind thing to say! I often feel like I’m bashing my head against my own fist so I’m glad to know something worthwhile is coming out of it lol

An interesting question, and I would first ask: do we know that this is happening? The general mental health-ification of the internet has been happening for a few years now, and it’s sort of hard to know the effects given it’s still an evolving situation. But I’ll speak to some things I’ve seen personally that might be relevant.

The first is that people, and particularly young people, are more mental health literate than they have ever been. This is largely good! AND - TikTok and other social media has become kind of like WebMD for mental health disorders and relational dysfunction. Because of this, a lot of people fall down the self-diagnosis rabbit hole in the same way. And sometimes that’s helpful when it motivates people to seek treatment, but can be harmful because of the vast amount of misinformation on the internet. And treatment is still very inaccessible due to cost and availability, leaving people to go it alone with unvetted resources. So we have a climate where people are aware of mental health issues, there’s lot of misinformation, and credible help is hard to get. This is a breeding ground for pop psychology and therapy influencers to take root.

So to your questions: I do see a lot of folks using (and misusing) clinical terms in irl situations. Its part of the reason I hate that mental healthcare is so embedded in the medical systems because everything gets shoehorned into diagnostic labels when it’s not necessary. Some top culprits include boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, as well as diagnoses like BPD, NPD, DID, etc.

Ex: gaslighting is often thrown around when people disagree. Someone remembering something different than you is not abuse - the more likely reality is that human memory is complex and bad. Gaslighting is a deliberate tactic used to make you question your memory/sanity. It requires intent to deceive.

Ex: Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a medical diagnosis that requires a person to experience distress and loss of functioning from the consequences of their compulsively self centered behavior. Sometimes people are just being assholes. A person treating you badly doesn’t require a diagnosis. But labels can make people feel more oriented and in control, because YOURE the bad/wrong/sick one and therefore I don’t have to look at myself.

I think this has two effects:

1. An overly cognitive view and experience of human behavior that pathologizes normal, messy multi-faceted reactions and interactions in an effort to find a sense of security and predictability via control.

2. A lower tolerance for productive conflict and adverse experiences that robs people of opportunities to build resilience and experience meaning from the suffering that visits us all at some point or other.

In fandom spaces, I think this shows up as an unwillingness to question why we react to things the way we do, why certain things make us uncomfortable instead of immediately rejecting them wholesale. There’s valuable information in the things that chafe us, and so much of the work I do with folks is about being brave and actively seeking that information in a safe, contained space. It’s a vulnerable thing, and it’s natural for our defensive responses to get activated (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). and my totally unfounded theory is that the folks who are being vicious and keyboard warriory are defaulting to a fight response: be scary to make the thing stop. It’s a self-protection strategy at its core, but it fandom spaces it translates as bullying because well.. it is. They’re trying to defend a space, even an online one, by trying to be scary enough not to fight with.

Art is inherently self-reflective, both in the making of and the interacting with, where consumption is about satisfaction. My hope is that in fandom we can move toward creation as a conversation instead of as a product that does or does not fulfill what someone is looking for. I think there will always be demand for super tropey, digestible, just for fun content and that’s great, but I also would love to see more folks be willing to engage with things that make them uncomfortable in an effort to find out why. That’s the kind of fandom I’m interested in being a part of. For some people it’s never going to be that deep, but I’d like to think in my little corner that’s the kind of stuff we get excited about.

[lis4ux]

Thank you!!!! What you said about the Jiara fic comunity is so real!!!!

I am a small writer and I post every now and then and the biggest difference is that I don’t really promote my content on social media to the fandom not even on Tumblr (‘cause tbh I don’t want people I know irl to see it lol) so because of that I don’t really have a familiar “name” in the fandom and I rarely receive any feedback on AO3 even though the clicks aren’t bad at all.

I feel like the fandom has a certain amount of very well known authors (or even creators of fan art) that we all know and interact with a lot (which I also LOVE so much) and then doesn’t pay much attention to smaller creators, if you go on Ao3 on the Jiara tag there are actually multiple fics being uploaded every week and many more still in work and the majority of them are actually very well written pieces and such good content.

I personally don’t think that my work is anywhere close to some of the best fic we have in the fandom but it’s not bad at all either and after years of writing for Jiara and multiple fic uploaded (which again aren’t doing bad in terms of hits of kudos) I just received my first comment a couple of weeks ago and it’s so true that it makes all the difference.

There’s a multi chapter fic I’ve been working on for months that I kept in the drafts for so long and lately I’ve neglected it ‘cause of lack of motivation, after that comment I got back my inspiration and spent days writing, to the point that now it’s almost done.

I don’t think any of us write for the purpose of validation or getting praise, we do it ‘cause we enjoy it and we are passionate about the characters and the show, but it’s nice when you’ve shared your ideas and what you’ve spent so much of your time on with the fandom to get some interaction to simply make it known “hey I see you and I’ve spent some time on this, your time invested wasn’t for nothing”.

Smaller writers who aren’t interacting with the fandom on social media are there too and are creating beautiful stories almost daily, some people are just not willing to try something new from people they don’t know…also I suggest to go dig to some of the old stuff from years ago, there are so many hidden gems that never got the deserved attention 👏🏼

I agree completely!

I use the Kiara Carrera/jj maybank tag and I see new stuff up all the time! I also really enjoy the older works, they’re what got me into writing my own honestly.

So happy that you are continuing to write and know that if I come across your work I will most definitely be leaving a comment 🖤

[dreamhot]

I used to be really involved in the dteam fandom but I’ve distanced myself from it in the past year because I no longer had the energy to deal with all the grief it was bringing me through the drama. I unfollowed many of the accounts I followed that posted about them (except for my mutuals) and I became impartial to the drama and everything surrounding Dream. I did that because I would always get so worked up anytime I saw anything negative posted about him and I just couldn’t afford to constantly be angry anytime I opened a social media site. I watched the video, hoping it would shed some light on all the controversies and make my convoluted feelings towards Dream a little easier to understand. It did. Though I don’t think I will ever be as involved in this fan base as I was before, nor will I ever feel as strongly about the dteam and their content, I think I’ve become comfortable enough to start coming back to the old dteam spaces I used to frequent. I think I can refollow some of the blogs I abandoned without feeling guilty like I had before

i feel as though that's a totally healthy way to go about it. part of my inactivity has been the result of irl being busy and shifting interests in general, but the constant negativity was also a drain on me. even when you didn't go looking for it, you'd stumble across people being cruel about something you care deeply about, and it was just ... exhausting. that being said, having this video finally come out and seeing the tide turn - if only a bit for now! - is a breath of fresh air, and it makes approaching the content feel a lot less daunting

i hope you're able to find some happiness with whatever level of engagement you have with the dteam and the fandom - and we can all look forward to more mc content in the new year WAHOO

[manstrans]

I feel like “children should not have their privacy in the hands of Uber controlling parents that are basically stalking them and causing them harm” and “the internet is not safe for children and they should not have social media accounts until a certain age/parents should learn to allow their children agency while monitoring their safety online with a healthy communication model and/or monitoring their social media usage” are things that can and should coexist. But also abusive parents just shouldn’t have kids LMAO but you don’t need me to say that.

And there must also be a dialogue about how on the internet children who are not an appropriate age to be left unsupervised are consistently exposed to content (I was I was younger being a liveleak kid, and now there is/was Ankha Zone and Cupcakke memes on tiktok or the few instances of graphic gore and death footage being passed around) that they should not be seeing. I should not have been seeing 8 year olds talking graphically about sex the way I was on platforms like tiktok.

“But children deserve a place on the internet,” people may say — to which I agree, but you’re also talking about the same internet where shit like Ankha Zone was exposed to young children and I was exposed to actual IRL gore when I was 5-11.

“Children deserve a place on the internet” absolutely can, should and must co-exist with acknowledging how unsafe the internet is for them, because no matter how hard we advocate for filtering and tagging and stuff like that there will always be someone somewhere who will find their way around it.

We must also recognize that parental safety features, while they can and WILL be used by people that most certainly should NOT have kids, are also very important — what about parents who are not cruel overbearing assholes? What if they have an open communication model as I’ve mentioned before with mutual respect etc etc and they DO have a good relationship and therefore are capable of using these tools for the advantages of both parent and child? What if for a moment these tools could prevent someone from turning out like a liveleak kid or what have you if they were handled in the right hands by a parent who isn’t a helicoptery abusive shitstain?

Idk it’s hard to articulate but it is a very wide and nuanced argument and I feel like a lot of people miss out on the capability of using these types of things for good because they get so caught up in how it will be used for evil by people who should, again, not have kids. It’s also so hard to try and bring up how these tools can be useful and healthy for the child (again if the parent and child have a good relationship built on open communication trust and respect and the parent isn’t you know hovering constantly) without someone wanting to tunnel vision on something and call me an abuser for just… advocating for the safety of children online and how certain tools can be used for such when the internet is full of people (see: trolls) who will do anything to get around filtering?

Idk I do hope this made sense I did just wake up from an afternoon nap LMAO.

I get what you're getting at, but tbh it's also like... there's a huge difference between a 10 year old and a 13 year old using the internet. at the point where a child is going to be talking to people online, especially people they met through the internet, they should already be old enough to have this as a space away from their parents strict watch

sure, you can ask your kid before monitoring what they do online, but are they allowed to say no? and if they are, do they know they're allowed to? has there been a previous pattern of not letting them say no and set boundaries that could make them think that saying no will, at best, do nothing?

will monitoring them in this way even protect them? how are you supposed to know that someone is a predator just from their icon and username? does being able to pry just at that information make your child free like you don't trust them, so they must hide anything that could cause even less trust or more shame? not to mention teaching them that this kind of spying is okay as long as the person doing it has power over them

and even if you could answer all of those confidently that there's no inherent harm, there's still going to be bad people abusing it. it doesn't matter that some parents might use it responsibly, we know that many parents are going to use it to control and traumatize their kids. and abusive partners could use it to track their significant other as well, this is also basically a given

when I weigh any potential good against any certain bad, it just isn't worth it in my eyes