#just some fun domestic fanfic whoo

[saturnwritings]

funfetti

—kenma, kuroo, bokuto and akaashi go cake shopping for y/n’s birthday, chaos ensues. 

pairing(s): offscreen kenma x reader (with a light dusting of bokuaka because i am legally obliged to)

word count: 1307

a/n: i’m so sorry this is so stupid omg but i wanted to post this cause it was from an activity in english where we practiced dialogue obviously reflecting characters' personalities. this was originally with voltron characters but i decided to change it B)

“Stop goofing around! Don’t you remember, Kenma brought us here to buy a cake for y/n’s birthday!” Akaashi yelled at Bokuto, who was trying on party hats made for 5 year olds. No matter how many times he reprimanded Bokuto and Kuroo for getting side-tracked, they never seemed to listen - and Akaashi was starting to lose his patience. 

“Kenma! Kenma! Look at this cake topper - it’s a pigeon! Didn’t you name a pokemon that looked like this after y/n? I think we should get this for her!” Kuroo all but yelled. To anyone else in the store he would have been mistaken for an overly excited child. 

Kenma almost rolled his eyes, but when he saw what Kuroo was gesturing at, his eyes lit up ever so slightly, however Kuroo, ever so knowledgeable in the subject of Kenma, noticed it right away. 

In his head, Kenma was feeling soft. He was surprised Kuroo remembered but then again, y/n was mad at him for a whole week for naming a Pigeon after her of all Pokemon. He almost smiled at the memory when Bokuto cut off his train of thought.

“We should totally get it! Oh, and-” Bokuto got cut off by Akaashi.

“Guys, we need to focus! We’re never going to get anything done if you keep getting distracted. We need to pick out a cake for y/n! I swear, it’s like I have two children to babysit!” Akaashi scolded. Bokuto and Kuroo exchanged looks. Kuroo pouted and turned away to avoid getting punished, Bokuto’s hair tufts deflated ever so slightly.

“Sorry, Akaashi.” Bokuto slung his arm around Akaashi’s shoulders, “We didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble…” He said as he leaned his head on Akaashi’s. Bokuto glanced sideways with puppy dog-like eyes, Akaashi simply let out a sigh (they all knew he wasn’t really that mad).

Kenma looked away from the exchange to see Kuroo rearranging some wooden letters on the shelf they were on. So far, Kenma could see he had H-E-N-T-A. Further in the distance, he saw a 2-for-1 sale for black forest cakes. 

“Let’s just get the chocolate cake, they’re on sale and everyone likes chocolate, I guess.” Kenma explained while pointing at the sale sign. Bokuto gasped and pulled away from Akaashi, only to grab his hands and clutch them tightly. 

“Can we? It’s in our budget isn’t it?” Bokuto’s eyes sparkled. Akaashi was slightly shocked Bokuto was able to remember the budget of ¥2,500, the chocolate cake sale falling just short. He thought for a second, but ultimately shook his head. 

“It’s not healthy for us to get two cakes… And remember your birthday last year? We could barely finish that one fruitcake.” Akaashi recounted. 

“Fine, whatever…” Bokuto pouted and let his eyes wander around the store until his eyes landed on another cake. “How about this one then!” Bokuto walked over to an angel's food cake that looked about 40 centimeters in diameter. “The angel on the top kinda looks like you though, Akaashi!” He said with a dopey smile, Akaashi’s cheeks flushed and his eyes slightly widened. Before he could say anything, though, Bokuto continued, “And it’s almost the size of Kenma!” An exaggeration, of course. 

“Oh, come on! We all know Kenma’s the size of a mushroom! That’s not saying a lot.” Kuroo expressed, finally directing his attention to the conversation and away from his wooden letters. Kenma huffed. 

“Say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole.” Kenma declared, getting ready to square up. 

“I’m sorry Bokuto, it’s way out of our budget.” Akaashi said softly, keeping in mind the set price they had decided on beforehand. Secretly, he wanted to get the angel’s food cake purely because of Bokuto’s earlier comment.

“Fine!” Bokuto whined, admitting defeat. “Hm… Kenma! What’s another kind of cake that y/n would like?” Bokuto asked, hoping Kenma would know.

“How about this mixed-berry cheesecake?” Akaashi asked, browsing the cakes in coolers.

“Why don’t we just get a blueberry one? It is the superior fruit after all.” Kenma said, dead serious. 

“But where’s the fun in that?! Why have just one berry when you can have multiple!” Bokuto exclaimed. They all understood this; they know Bokuto’s the type of person who likes to go all out. 

“Let’s just get that one, then. I mean, it's in our budget.” Akaashi shrugged. Kenma huffed.

“Aw, Kenma! If you want, I can pick off the strawberries and raspberries for you?” Kuroo taunted. 

“Whatever, Kuro! It doesn’t matter, I’m not that picky. And, it’s not even my cake! This is all for y/n!” Kenma countered. Kuroo’s face morphed into a disheartened expression, not liking that his best friend was paying so much attention to someone else and not him. He was just clingy that way. 

Kenma turned to Akaashi. “Let's get that cake then, how much is it?” He asked, looking like a child who got his video game privileges taken away. Akaashi frowned.

“Kenma, if you don’t want it, it’s fine. y/n is gonna be happy with any cake you choose, I’m sure of it.” Akaashi said, sounding like a supportive mom, Bokuto and Kuroo seemingly vanished. Kenma glanced around the store, he spotted a colorful cake with a calico cat cake topper not too far from him.

“What about this one?” He asked as he walked towards it. Secretly, Kenma really liked cats. Akaashi, upon further inspection, found it to be a funfetti cake with dollops of frosting on top surrounding a cat cake topper. He looked at the price.

“It’s ¥2,160. We can get it if you want?” Kenma’s eyes lit up for the second time that day. He nodded mutley and picked up the box of the cake. 

As he and Akaashi headed towards the register, they heard a scream followed by a large crash coming from a few aisles down. Their widened eyes exchanged a look and they both knew what the other was thinking: Bokuto and Kuroo.

They both started speed-walking to the aisle they heard the crash and lo-and-behold, Kuroo and Bokuto, as well as an alarming amount of the surrounding area, were covered in frosting and cake crumbs. 

Kenma and Akaashi stood frozen as an employee came running. The employee’s eyes bulged and when things were about to get even messier, another, older looking employee also came running and sighed. The first employee was just about to start yelling when the second cut him off.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He said solemnly. Kenma felt sorry for the man, he looked so done. Akaashi stepped forward, bowed and started apologizing on behalf of his friends. When he was done, Kenma finally built up the nerve to speak.

“Uhm, is it okay if we still buy this?” He held up the cake box and the man sighed.

“I suppose, but please have your friends wait outside.” Kenma saw Akaashi look pointedly at Bokuto and Kuroo, and they got the message and left the store to wait right outside of the entrance. 

Kenma and Akaashi paid for the cake (Akaashi offered to pay but Kenma reasoned that it was, after all, y/n’s birthday, so it would be most fitting if he paid, but Akaashi pays for the damages, though) and they met up with the Bokuto and Kuroo, still covered in cake, outside. Bokuto looked inside the cake box.

“Aw hell yeah! You chose right bro! Everyone knows funfetti is more epic fun!” He was practically vibrating with excitement. 

bonus: you hear a knock at your door. kenma walks in holding a box, followed by akaashi and a cake covered kuroo and bokuto. you decide not to ask. you all spend the day hanging out, eating funfetti cake, playing video games and performing general clownery. the end.

[kakooshi]

Ereri/riren ;)

OH MY GOD ILYSM RIGHT NOW ASDFGHJKL….*TURNS INTO A TITAN*

AHEM…ANYWAY….

Whoo boi, prepare for a long one…

• When or if I started shipping it:

I was searching for some Youtube videos shortly after watching the first few episodes of Snk, as I usually do when I show interest in a series. Eventually, I stumbled upon that fateful video of Levi beating Eren up in court. Being the nosy person that I was, I scrolled through the comments and was a little surprised to find out that people shipped them because I wasn’t aware at the time that Levi was saving Eren from getting his ass killed. Then, I saw that scene where they were sitting at the table in ep 24 and I was still skeptical because damn, Levi sounded older than he looked. But then, I saw this thumbnail:

Look at that. LOOK AT THAT. IS THAT BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT!!??? The desire in Eren’s eyes…the tenderness in which he cups Levi’s face…That picture got to me. It got to me so hard all my doubts faded away, and at that moment, I was screwed. Before I knew it, I finished the first season of the anime, read fanfics and metas, gawked at the number of official art they were in together, ignored the antis, and you know the rest :)

• My thoughts: 

It scares me a bit how strongly I feel about Ereri. I don’t think another ship will ever ignite such tremendous joy in me more than these two. I’ve gained more ships during the years, but none of them repeated the same excitement I felt for the two imperfectly beautiful monsters that stole my heart. For me, Ereri is the kind of romance you wouldn’t see coming, the kind that starts out with uncertainty and rough edges but eventually falls into something natural and beautiful as it grows. And yes, I ship it in canon. No amount of hate is ever gonna derive me of that.  

• What makes me happy about them: 

I’m happy that there are a lot of quality content in art and fanfics in the fandom despite Eren and Levi’s limited interaction in canon (AUs are the best). I’m also happy that the shippers are willing to protect and stand up for each other amidst the spamming and the hating and whatnot. I’m at least glad that the ship isn’t based on fear and abuse because of the way Levi looks after Eren (please read the manga), and how Eren still respects Levi even after knowing who he really is as a person and not as Humanity’s Strongest. I mean come on, what kind of “abuser” gives his “victim” pep talks and half-assed poop jokes just to make him feel better?

• What makes me sad about them:

 I’m sad that Ereri is hated as much as it is loved and that most fans overlook their actual and more meaningful dynamic because of works that portray their relationship poorly and how they think the ship only revolves around sex or bdsm or whatever. I’m also sad to see that there’s not much going on in the Ereri tag other than reposted art and more crosstagging from the antis (shoutout to @dinklebert and @aurieackerman for bringing life to the tag though). The thing that upsets me most is how other ships are pitted against Ereri in such a hateful fashion.

• Things done in art/fic that annoys me: 

Gee…I usually suck up to anything but let’s see:

- Erwin (or any other character) being used as a plot device for a love triangle 

- “Shitty brat” (or Levi being more of an asshole than he usually is in the series smh)

- Eren being written as a fragile shrinking violet like seriously, the kid is NOT a shoujo moe character. He’s a serial killer-in-training. (credits to @accidentalyandere )

- Grisha’s A+ parenting

- Eren and Levi instantly doing the do without any development whatsoever.

• Things I look for in art/fic:

CANONVERSE! CANONVERSE! CANONVERSE! THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH CANONVERSE ERERI IN MY LIFE. Can’t I just get these two badasses fighting side by side, drinking tea, dashing through the woods with their 3dmg, riding on horses into the sunset, sparring incessantly to the point where a crowd gathers to watch their incredible skills, treating each other’s injuries, having loads of desperate, loving sex, Levi doting on Eren, Eren doting on Levi…just…canonverse gives me life okay? Also a sucker for slow build….

• Who I’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: 

For Eren, I’d be happy with him being with either Armin, Jean, Mikasa, or Historia. He deserves an ocean full of love regardless of who he ends up with. For Levi, I’d want him to be with Hange, because they’ve been through so much together and they’re the only one Levi has (Well, if we’re talking veterans here) 

• My happily ever after for them: 

As sad as it makes me to say it won’t happen, I just want them to settle down in this nice, little cottage and live a happy, domestic life together hunting for game and looking after orphans. Or maybe stand on top of Wall Maria as they look over the world like in the Lion King or some shit. That would be good too.

• What is their favorite non-sexual activity?

I’d like to imagine Levi and Eren challenging each other over practically anything on a regular basis, like who makes the best tea, or who cleans the quickest, or who handles the 3dmg like a beast (Levi would no doubt roll his eyes at this). Oh, and cuddling. Cuddling is good.

This took a while, but I had fun. Thank you, and keep shipping :))))