#just some encouragement to anyone thinking about it

[salemlunaa]

𓆉 ˚∘YOU ARE NOT BOUND TO THIS REALITY࿐

stop acting like this place is your home, it’s not. Same thing with those trying to manifest things. You’re manifesting a new body but You believe that your home is the reality where you hate your body and that you’re doing something grand and groundbreaking by trying shift from that. You want your dream life through the void state. But you believe this reality you’re experiencing right now is your home. Your base point. Your starting ground. And you think that because you are so tied to this reality by scripting and shifting to a new life you’re doing something crazy and out-of-body like.

Let me tell you something. You aren’t. This is going to sound insane but you are as close to this reality as you are to your dream life. You are as bound to the reality where you have your dream green eyes than you are to the “current” where you have blue eyes that you don’t want.

The only reason that us bloggers use the term “current reality” is because this is the reality where your consciousness lies. I will say this again: there are multiple different versions of you reading this that you aren’t aware of and they’re probably not aware of you. Think of the country you live in right now. There’s a version of you that is from somewhere else and may know nothing about the place you call home and haven’t even stepped foot there. It’s so trippy to think about but what i’m trying to get at is that this isn’t your home. It’s nothing to be scared of, shouldn’t it be empowering and comforting to know you could be anyone you want to be?

like this is literally you:

(found this from @shiftinglea)

It’s so easy to shift your consciousness it’s not something you need to mentally prep for, there’s nothing to do. As soon as you want and intend the shift, it happens, regardless of what you’re seeing. You aren’t stuck here, and it pains me when you guys speak about circumstances as if they’re permanent. They don’t have to exist at all. There is no journey, it’s just immediate teleportation. Think as if. Think of your “desired reality” and your current. Place your awareness there.

The reason you have so much resistance is because you believe you have to. Deep down, you believe effort is needed to leave, you believe you need some extravagant journey as you’re leaving the place you felt bound to all this time. You don’t, you’ve left. you’ve shifted. You can’t grasp that nothing, absolutely nothing needs to be done to enter the state of pure consciousness, your literal naked self.

You believe it needs to be hard because it’s too good to be true.

Leave that belief behind. You aren’t far from your life. The life you intend to have. In fact, you’re right there. Think of all these realities like your children. All of them are related to you in the same way. You don’t have one child that you’re absolutely bound to, assuming you’re a good parent with no favourites. They’re ALL close to you in the SAME PROXIMITY. They ALL have the same relation to you. It’s YOUR BLOOD aka YOU running through their veins, all of them, the veins of all these realities, even the ones you aren’t conscious of yet. You aren’t just bound to one.

So you don’t need to work super hard for that body, that shift, that face. When we say it’s yours we aren’t just trying to be encouraging it’s just facts. I’m not the most well versed marvel fan, but does Dr. Strange have a hard time shifting or does he just know where he wants to go and opens those portal thingys? Be like him. Know where you want to go and leave.

Wash your hands of what you don’t want and think as if. Thinking as if = placing your consciousness in desired state = you are in desired state = 3d will follow.

This isn’t home base. There isn’t a home base. Take that into consideration when you’re struggling to truly “just be” while trying to induce the void.

THESE REALITIES ARE ALL THE SAME. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DECIDE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE ࿐

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 19

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 18 | Series Masterlist | Part 20

Chapter Word Count: Over 4.2k

Chapter Summary: Your day out with your friends isn't as relaxing as you want it to be.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, drinking, suspected drugging, reference to stalking and violence, your friends are cheering you on, inner turmoil, stubborn reader, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You wished you could say you breathed easier as the limo pulled away, but you didn’t. You felt Bucky’s piercing eyes on you, watching until you were completely out of sight. He still wasn’t “out of sight, out of mind.” He made sure you’d think about him, and Ray was following in his vehicle. Even glancing quickly at the limo partition you could see that it was cracked. Was the driver one of Bucky’s men?

“Okay, so your new boyfriend is stupidly hot and loaded,” Dana said, her eyes darting around the limo. “You should be proud of yourself. Holy shit.”

“I should be proud of somehow snagging a hot and loaded guy?” you laughed a little. You always told yourself money wasn’t a factor as long as the love was there.

“Yes! Tell me he’s spoiling you the way he’s spoiling us today.”

You shrank back in your seat a bit. It wasn’t that it was the first time you were the center of attention with your friends, but it overwhelmed you specifically since it concerned Bucky. “Well, he bought me this outfit. And he has bought me a ton of books since I love to read,” you answered. You weren’t about to say that he transferred a ton of money into your account. “And on our first date he gave me a diamond necklace.”

The girls gasped. “Clothes, books, and a diamond necklace?! Yeah, be proud and fucking flaunt it,” Dana encouraged. She had to be half teasing since she knew that wasn’t your style. “Gina, Addison, back me up here.”

“We all know you aren’t going to flaunt any gift he gets you, but you should’ve seen the way he looked at you. He had hearts in his eyes,” Gina smiled. You tried to smile back. There were hearts alright, along with some darkness that they weren’t aware of. “I’m surprised he even looked at us.”

“Yeah, he’s… kind of intense like that,” you said. That was the word you’d go with.

“Intense isn’t necessarily bad.” Addison scooted closer to you. “And you’re happy, right? He treats you well?”

If being treated like a doll, having you followed, and showering you with affection while messing with your head was meant to make you happy… “He thinks we’re soulmates. That we were meant to find each other and be together. It’s… a lot,” you said carefully. “I haven’t had anyone who seems to need me the way he does, especially so quickly.”

“Soulmates? Wow,” Addison said. “I can see why you’d say it’s a lot.”

You could’ve hugged her. Maybe she saw through some of the charade. If she did, that could also put her in danger if she spoke out.

“Or maybe he just knows what he wants and he’s an all in kind of guy,” Dana commented. She had no idea. “Wait! Have you two had sex?!”

“No, we haven’t had sex yet,” you answered. Just him jerking off over the phone and some heavy petting and jerking off again with you nearby. “But he really wants to sleep with me and I did ride his thigh,” you mumbled.

It was still clear as day in your head, how he encouraged you to get off, his lips against yours. You didn’t want to think about it, but Bucky got his way and invaded your thoughts. It was inevitable.

“Ahh! You beautiful slut! Thigh riding is so hot!” If anyone ever needed a hype girl or enabler, Dana was the one to call. “And what are you waiting for?! Let him fuck you and eat your kitty. Do it for us.”

“Hey. There’s nothing wrong with waiting,” Addison promised. Of all of your friends, she’d snap if Bucky ever hurt you. “You wait as long as you want.”

You were trying to wait, but it was only a matter of time before you had to sleep with him. “It’s just…”

“Are you worried that his feelings will fade once you two have sex?” Gina asked.

“I’m not worried about his feelings diminishing,” you said with complete sincerity. His feelings wouldn’t waver, even if his actions screamed love-bombing. “I just… I guess I never pictured myself dating someone who owns a nightclub. He just seems out of my league.”

And he was someone who had very dangerous ties.

“No, we don’t put ourselves down here. Every league is your league, and he should be honored to be your guy.” Dana clapped her hands together. ���Ooh! What if we do a big date night at his club? We bring our guys, and we can all hang out?”

Your eyes widened. “I… Maybe,” you replied. It would just be another chance for Bucky to charm them, and it felt like you’d be asking him for a favor by letting your friends in. He’d probably love it.

“I’m texting my man and telling him you got a diamond necklace.” Dana quickly typed something on her phone. “He needs to step up his game.”

You were on the verge of tears. They were happy for you, but didn't seem to notice your discomfort. You didn’t blame them. Not at all. It was your fault for not being truthful about the true nature of your relationship. That wedge you imagined Bucky was trying to drive between you and your friends felt real and they didn't even know.

“As fun as it is talking about Bucky, maybe we can talk about something else?” you smiled, nudging Addison. You didn’t want this whole day to be about Bucky and your relationship. “Your big day is getting closer.”

“Yes, it is,” she smiled.

You relaxed in the seat when the conversation shifted to the wedding and found yourself smiling and laughing through the rest of the ride. Bucky still lingered in your mind since he’d be at the wedding. The nice part was that since you were in the bridal party, he couldn’t spend the entire day with you.

“We’re here!” Addison smiled as the limo eventually came to a stop.

You were the last to get out and you took a deep breath. The winery was the perfect mix of relaxation, beauty, and good vibes. The lush vineyard stretched across the hills, and you wished for a moment you could run through them and disappear. The sun on your face brought you back to the present and made you smile, and you couldn't wait to sample some wine with the girls. You had a right to enjoy your time.

“You coming?” Dana asked.

“You two go ahead. We’ll be right in,” Addison said, linking her arm with yours and leading you away from the limo. You tensed up only for a moment when you saw Ray’s vehicle in the distance. It didn’t look completely out of place though since there were other cars and people around. “Okay, what’s up? You seem on edge.”

“I do?” you asked. You thought she didn’t notice, and you should’ve known better.

“Yeah. Is it work? Or is it about Bucky?” You tensed up again. “Did you think we wouldn’t like him?”

“No, that’s not it. It’s just a lot really fast, that’s all,” you said, leaning in to whisper, “I didn’t want to say it in the limo, but he wants me to move in with him.”

She stopped walking. “Whoa. Okay, that is fast, but some couples do move quickly in whirlwind romances, so I wouldn’t say it’s completely out of the ordinary. Brady and I knew right away that we wanted to be together,” she said. What she had with Brady was pure, and you could’ve possibly had that with Bucky in another life. “Maybe Dana’s right that he just knows what he wants and he wants to go all in.”

“He’s very much all in,” you agreed.

“Are you considering moving in with him?”

“Maybe,” you said. Bucky was going to force his hand either way.

“Wow. If you’re considering that it’s either because you’re going along with what he wants or you really care about him. I hope it’s the latter,” she said, her brows pinching in concern. “But, listen, if you aren’t ready for that, he has to understand you haven’t dated in some time and you should go at the pace that makes you feel comfortable. I’m sure he’ll understand and it shouldn’t change how he feels.”

Your words caught in your throat. The pace wasn’t yours to control, even if Natasha said you had power. There was no choice in moving in and you wish you could blurt out every single thing that transpired, but the words refused to come out. Because all you could think about was what would happen to Addison, and she didn’t deserve any kind of pain.

“And if I do care about him and want to move in?” you asked.

“You know we’ll support whatever you do, but think about it carefully because that’s a big step. And if things go south, you tell us right away so we can help,” she said, giving you a small smile. “He may be your boyfriend, but you’re still my best friend and I was here first. I’ll smack him with a frying pan if he messes up.”

You blinked tears away before you hugged her. You were lucky to have a friend like her. “A frying pan? What happened to a shovel?” you teased.

“Frying pan is more accessible,” she teased back, giving you a squeeze. “Now let’s go. We have some wine to try.”

Ray kept a respectable distance from your table and didn’t make eye contact as he pretended to read while sipping his drink. You were glad for that since your friends didn’t seem to take notice of him as you all ate and sampled various wines. Though you were having a great time, you hardly drank a drop. You wanted to stay on guard in case Bucky decided to crash the outing.

“Oh, we need to take a bottle of this home,” Dana said, pointing at her empty glass. “And where the hell is your cousin?!”

“She bailed.” Addison rolled her eyes. “That's exactly why she’s not in the wedding party. I can’t rely on her.”

“That and she’s a bitch,” Dana said unapologetically while pointing at you. “We know she would’ve said something shitty about you and Bucky, and we don’t need that bad energy.”

You scoffed. Addison’s cousin was the type who always had to one-up someone or try to tear them down so she felt better about herself. You tried to see the best in others, but you were admittedly glad she wasn’t there today. “I’m sure she’ll have something to say at the wedding.”

“If she does say anything, don’t listen to her,” Addison urged. “Or say something back to shut her down.”

“Rub it in her face how hot and rich Bucky is,” Dana grinned, nudging you with her elbow. “Her head will explode.”

You inhaled. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. Everything went back to him, and you had to say something. “You know what I should tell her?” You smiled as they listened expectantly. “I should tell her that even though Bucky is rich and handsome and could have anyone he wants, he stalked me and coerced me into being his girlfriend. You think her head will still explode, or will she just laugh?”

The table went silent as you sipped your wine before they burst out laughing. A few heads turned your way from the sound, and you didn’t crack a smile when Ray made eye contact with you. Had he heard what you said?

Dana laughed so hard she wheezed. “You don’t understand. I need you to tell her that just to see the look on her face. Please. I beg of you.”

“And make sure Bucky’s in on the joke, too,” Gina giggled.

Your heart sank. Their safety came first, but the reaction was another reason you didn’t say anything. Who would possibly believe you? He was a rich and powerful man and you were merely a florist. “Maybe I can say something that’s not quite so dark,” you smiled.

Addison stared at you curiously before she shook her head. “You and your sense of humor,” she teased, drinking the rest of her glass. “But if you could shut her up, I’ll be thankful.”

Your phone dinged before you could respond, and you almost spit up the little wine you had when you saw a message from Bucky.

“Call me. Now.”

Direct. No sweet words. Oh, no.

“Is that your loverboy?” Dana wiggled her eyebrows.

“As a matter of fact it is and he’s asking for me to call him. Do you mind if…”

“Go. We’ll be right here,” Addison smiled.

Your legs felt a bit rubbery as you walked outside and took a look around to make sure no one was nearby. What if he had a bug in your phone and he heard what you said? Oh, God. You were so stupid.

Pressing his name on your phone, you let out a shaky breath when he immediately picked up. “Kotyonok, I need you to come back,” he replied, his tone stern. Upset.

You swallowed. God, he did hear you. You could convince him it was a joke, right? No one had to get hurt. “Why, what’s wrong?” you asked, your tone remarkably calm. “We aren’t done with our samples.”

“You were followed to Addison’s this morning by one of Zemo’s men. Ray and I both spotted him.” There were muffled noises in the background. “I just finished… talking to him.”

“I was followed?” you whispered, your heart sinking for a completely different reason now. The day you went out with your friends someone followed you? “What did he want?”

“I can explain more later, but he had a ‘look, but don’t touch’ order. I broke his fingers anyway.” You closed your eyes. He sounded proud of himself. “I have some business to attend to for the rest of the day and I have to go to the club after, which is why I need you back at home.”

Ray appearing behind you almost made you drop your phone. “Jesus, Ray,” you gasped, your heart nearly beating out of your chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said, briefly resting a hand on your shoulder. “Boss messaged me to bring you home.”

“Yeah, I’m talking to him right now,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “And I’m not going home right now. I'm not leaving.”

“What?” Bucky growled. He could be angry all he wanted. You didn’t care. “This isn’t something to argue about or negotiate, I need you safe and-”

“Safe? You need me to be safe?” you asked, trying to stay calm amidst the storm inside you. “Has it occurred to you that the entire reason I’m not safe is because of you? That the only reason Zemo even cares about following me is because I’m your girl?”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know I painted the very target on your back by falling for you? I’m well aware of that fact, but I’m also the one who can keep you safe.” He sounded almost as vulnerable as he did when he talked about his mom. “So just… come home.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek. Home. “You know, there are a lot of dangerous people out there who have families and loved ones. And I’m sure some of them are blissfully unaware of what goes on behind the scenes, but not all of them are. Some are very well aware of what their partners do for a living because they were told what they were getting into.”

“Kotyonok-”

“But you didn’t, Bucky. You didn’t let me know what I was getting into. One look at me and you made the decision for me and sealed my fate,” you continued, looking sadly at Ray. “So while I’m thinking of you today like you wanted, I want you to think of me and that target you painted on my back and my loved ones. And think about if you really love me the way you say you do.”

“I do love you,” he breathed. It would be nice to believe that. “Come home, please, and we’ll talk when I get back from the club.”

“I’m finishing the day with my friends. Ray will stay here with me. I also need to go to my place before I go to the penthouse,” you said. If he wanted you there so badly, he could bend a bit since you were in no direct danger at the moment. “And don’t expect a happy conversation like we had this morning.”

One step forward, two steps back.

“I’ll just be happy that you’re safe,” he said, which only infuriated you more. You couldn’t make out what he ordered to someone else, but the muffled noises picked up again. “Leave in thirty minutes. The driver will drop your friends off and he’ll take you to the apartment. Ray will take you home from there.”

“Two hours,” you stated just to be stubborn.

“One hour,” he countered. “Or I’ll drive there myself.”

You huffed, but didn’t want to test him. “Fine. I’ll leave in one hour.” The girls would understand if you made some excuse.

“Thank you,” he exhaled. He really did sound relieved. “I love you. I’ll see you later this evening.”

You waited a beat. “Think about what I said.” Ray waited patiently as you hung up. “Have I told you that your boss is a pain in the ass?”

“He certainly is, but he is correct that your safety is important,” he agreed, gently stopping you before you went back inside. “If you aren’t in the limo in one hour, he will come after you.”

“I know,” you sighed. Bucky would be dramatic like that. And protective. “Someone was really following me?” you asked in a small voice. Bucky had no reason to lie unless he was trying to get you away from your friends.

Ray nodded solemnly. “It could’ve been to report your movements back to Zemo, but I’d have to ask the boss for more details since I didn’t get to interrogate him myself.”

“I do appreciate you both spotting him,” you complimented, even if Bucky violently handled it. You shouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Of course.” There was a ghost of a smile on his face. “You were wrong, you know.”

Your brows pinched. “About what?”

“Your strength. You handled that well all things considered,” he answered.

“You’re only saying that because you can’t read my mind,” you said. It was a mess. But you hadn’t broken down or cried, so that was a plus.

For a moment you thought he’d laugh, but he merely nodded to the building. “Better go join your friends before they miss you.”

“Thanks, Ray,” you whispered, putting a smile back on your face as you walked back inside and headed back to the table.

Addison held up two fingers. “You missed two more rounds of samples.”

“I guess I'll have to catch up,” you teased. “And would anyone object to leaving in an hour? Bucky’s planning a romantic evening for the two of us, and I need to stop by my apartment before I head over to his place,” you said. It was partially true. “If you all want to stay, I’ll get an uber and you can take the limo.”

“An hour’s fine.” Dana blinked a few times. “Anyone else tired? I’m a little tired.”

Gina covered her mouth when she yawned. “Yeah, I am, too.”

“I feel fine,” you said, frowning when Addison yawned, too. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but a nap sounds good right about now,” she said, pushing her now empty glass away and checking the time. “It is kind of late. It’ll be night time when we get back.”

You stared at your own glass, dread filling your stomach. You felt perfectly fine, but they looked tired. Was it possible that someone slipped something in their drinks or food? Did Ray do something or did Bucky set something up in order to make you leave? Or were you just being paranoid?

“Is everyone okay?” you asked. It felt like too much of a coincidence that they all felt tired after you came back to the table. “Should we just leave right now?”

“I’m fine. I was just up really late last night,” Addison answered. Dana and Gina nodded in agreement.

“Maybe we should cut back on the samples and stick with water,” you suggested.

“You’ve always been the sensible one,” Dana said, resting her chin in her hand. “But can we still buy some bottles?”

“Yeah. As many as we want,” you promised. Bucky did say he’d spoil you, so why not?

Exactly one hour later, you were back in the limo with the girls and plenty of bottles. Unlike the ride over, the ride back was much quieter. You thought Addison would fall asleep on your shoulder at one point and Dana actually did fall asleep at one point for a few minutes. They somehow didn’t stumble on the way to the limo, and it would’ve impressed you if you weren’t so worried.

“Are you sure you girls are okay? Should we go to the hospital?” you asked.

“Why would we do that? We drank more at my bachelorette party than we did today. We’re fine,” Addison assured you. “You worry too much.”

You had good reason to worry. “This sounds crazy, but did you drug my friends? I need to know if I should take them to the hospital.” you messaged Bucky. If he did something to them…

He typed something back right away. “How could I possibly drug your friends when I wasn’t there? Is everyone okay?”

Did he actually care? “I’m fine, but they’re very drowsy and I’m worried.”

“Ray kept me updated and he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. None of Zemo’s men were there. I didn't do anything either. Did any of them complain that they were dizzy? Nauseous? Did anyone pass out?”

“No, but it could've been something like Benadryl to make them drowsy and get me to possibly leave faster.” Or punish you by mentioning the stalking thing, if he knew, and show you that his reach expanded beyond the city.

“That’s a very creative method to get you to leave, but lots of wine can make anyone drowsy and I have no reason to do that to your friends. I think our conversation may have scared you a bit since Zemo had someone watching you and you’re understandably worried for your friends.”

You looked around at your friends. They did drink a lot more wine than you, and drugging people didn’t seem to be Bucky’s style. Zemo’s men weren’t there. Maybe you were being paranoid and the girls really were just tired. Being part of Bucky’s circle just made you question everything.

“Okay. I’m trusting you.” You had to.

“Thank you. Your worry aside, it sounds like you girls had fun though from what I heard. Maybe the next day out can be at my club. Could be fun.”

You gasped. Did he know what Dana suggested? No, no, no. You weren’t falling down that rabbit hole, and didn’t send any texts back for the rest of the drive.

Brady and the other guys were waiting on the curb when the limo stopped at Addison’s. You were the only one who didn’t get out, but you gave each of them hugs and helped hand out the wine to their significant others. They seemed a bit more awake, so maybe they were just fine. “Love you girls. And, guys, keep an eye on them. They had quite a few samples,” you said. You’d have to text each of them later to check on them.

“Love you,” the girls echoed before the door shut.

The driver headed in the direction of your place after a minute. What were you going to say to Bucky when you saw him? Would you scream at him for putting you in danger, or would you just accept that this was your life? It was a continuous losing battle the more you fought.

The morning you had with Bucky, minus the groping, had been somewhat nice. Could it be like that all the time if you tried? Could it be better if he loosened the reins?

“Thank you,” you said when the limo stopped and the partition rolled down a few inches. “How much do I owe you?”

“Mr. Barnes took care of that, miss, but if you’ll allow me-”

“Oh, no. Please don’t get out. I got it,” you smiled, letting yourself out. You scanned the street for Ray’s car, but didn’t see it. He was likely waiting for the limo to pull away.

Two steps into your building, your phone dinged. “What now?” you muttered when you opened a text from Bucky.

“Ray got a flat tire. Stay in the limo.”

You read the message twice. A flat tire? You were about to type back to Bucky that you already left the limo when you heard a familiar voice by the elevator. “It’s about time you got back.”

You couldn’t breathe when you found a pair of blue eyes staring at you. “Clark… what are you doing here?”

Oh, I hope you lovelies are prepared for the next part. And what do we think of your friends? And were they just drowsy or did something happen? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[gracie-eilish]

i loved your babygirl imagine, and i’m just thinking about how billie would be an awesome and encouraging partner while giving birth, could you write something like that please? 🫶🏻✨

an: of fucking course i can!

HAHA y’all thought i was done with the baby fics. NEVERRRR!!! the baby fever is RAGING and i’m starting to get concerned 😀

jk jk. i’ll be done in like ten minutes i promise.

warnings: mild descriptions of birth, mention of needles/epidural, mention of breastfeeding, not a warning but it’s a baby girl bc i wanna be a girl mom so bad hehe anywhosies enjoy the fic

also there’s gonna be a part two to this fic like super soon cause it was gonna be so freaking long if i made it one part OK THATS ALL BYEEEEE💋💋💋 edit: part two is now posted!

our girl💞 (pt. 1)

A sharp, rolling ache pulled you from sleep, making you suck in a breath as your fingers instinctively gripped the sheets. The room was dark and quiet, the soft hum of the ocean outside barely audible through the cracked window. You lay still for a moment, trying to process what had woken you. Then, another wave of pain built deep in your stomach, stronger this time, radiating downward. Your heart pounded as realization hit.

You reached out, pressing a hand against Billie’s warm skin. “B-Billie?” Your voice came out shaky, barely a whisper.

She stirred immediately, her sleepy mumble turning into full alertness the second she saw your face. “Baby?” She pushed up onto one elbow, blinking at you in the dim light. “What’s wrong?”

“I think…” Another contraction hit, and you clenched your jaw, gripping her wrist. “I think it’s happening.”

For half a second, she was still, as if letting the words sink in. Then, all at once, she was moving. “Okay. Okay, uh—how far apart?” She reached for her phone, fumbling with the timer as she sat up. “How bad is it? Like, one to ten?”

You exhaled shakily, gripping your belly as the pain ebbed. “Like… a six? Maybe a seven?”

She nodded quickly. “Alright. Let’s time ‘em.”

She stayed pressed close, watching the seconds tick by as she cradled your hand in both of hers. When the next contraction came, she hit the timer, murmuring soft encouragements as you breathed through it.

“God, you’re so strong,” she whispered, kissing your knuckles. “You got this, baby.”

When the contraction passed, you let out a long breath. Billie glanced at the screen. “Eight minutes apart. We’ve got some time. Wanna stay in bed or move around?”

You swallowed, wincing as you shifted. “Move.”

Without hesitation, she helped you sit up, guiding you onto your feet with steady hands. “Let’s do some laps around the room. Just tell me if you need a break, okay?”

You nodded, gripping her hand tightly as the two of you began to pace. Billie stayed close, watching you carefully, her free hand rubbing slow circles into your lower back. Every time you needed to pause, she was right there, letting you lean into her.

“Breathe, baby,” she murmured as another contraction hit, her arms firm around you. “I’ve got you. Just like that. In… out… good girl.”

You groaned softly, forehead pressed against her shoulder. “It hurts.”

“I know, baby. I know.” She kissed your hair, voice thick with love. “But you’re doing so amazing. I swear, I’ve never seen anyone stronger.”

You huffed a soft laugh. “You’re just saying that ‘cause I’m pushing out your kid.”

She grinned, squeezing your waist. “That, and ‘cause it’s true.”

When the contractions got stronger, she guided you to your birthing ball, lowering you down gently. “Bounce a little, see if it helps,” she suggested, kneeling in front of you. You rocked your hips, exhaling as the pressure lessened slightly. Billie watched you with soft, loving eyes.

“That better?”

You nodded pushing some hair out of your face. “A little.”

“Good. Hey, let me do your hair. Keep it outta your face.” She slipped behind you, her fingers working gently through your strands as you continued moving around on the ball. “You’re gonna look hot as hell delivering this baby,” she teased, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You snorted. “Oh yeah. So hot. Nothing sexier than labor.”

She laughed, tying off the braid. “You say that, but I’m still fully obsessed with you.”

For a little while, the two of you stayed like that—her whispering soft encouragements as you breathed through each wave of pain, her hands never leaving your body. But as the contractions got closer together, you finally groaned, “Billie, I think it’s time.”

She didn’t even hesitate, already grabbing the hospital bag and her keys. “Alright, baby. Let’s go meet our little girl.”

“Billie?” You whimpered as you both were halfway out the door.

“Yeah baby?” She turned to face you, nothing but love, and maybe a bit of nerves, in her eyes.

“Billie, I’m scared. How am I gonna do this? What if I can’t do this?” You were starting to ramble, your eyes shifting as the anxiety started to flood your brain.

“Hey, hey, no no baby. None of that,” She guided you other to the little porch swing attached to your porch next to your front door, guiding you to sit before sitting next to you.

“You, are going to be the best mom in the world. I sweat to god, you have taken care of everyone in your life every single day, you are kind and gentle and loving and soft and supportive, you have spent your whole life being a mother without a child,” You were officially tearing up at Billie’s little speech, making her chuckle softly and wipe away the stray tears ft at had fallen.

“If there is anyone who can do this perfectly, it’s you. You’ve got this and I’ll be there the whole time okay? This baby is the luckiest baby in the world because she had you as her mama. I’m so excited to be a mom with you my love,” she finished, holding your hand and stroking your cheek.

“Let’s go have a baby Billie,” You said strongly, smiling so wide, making Billie’s heart skip a beat in a way it hadn’t since your wedding day. She (softly) pounced to kiss you passionately, ready to enter the next chapter of your love story.

The moment you arrived at the hospital, Billie stayed glued to your side. She helped you change into the hospital gown, tucked the blankets around you, adjusted your pillows—anything and everything to make sure you were comfortable. When the next contraction hit, she was right there, rubbing your back, whispering, “You’re doing so good. Almost there, baby.”

Between contractions, she fed you ice chips, brushing her fingers over your cheek. “You okay? Need anything?”

You exhaled slowly, shaking your head. “Just you.”

Her expression softened, and she leaned down, kissing your forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, my love.”

Then, the nurse mentioned the epidural. Your stomach dropped. You had always hated needles.

Billie knew that. She saw the flicker of fear in your eyes immediately. Without a word, she climbed onto the bed in front of you, wrapping her arms tightly around your waist.

“Just hold on to me,” she whispered. “Don’t even think about it. I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”

You buried your face in her neck, gripping her arms as tightly as you could. Billie could feel your tight grip on her shirt, your nerves evident.

“Baby can I tell you a secret?” She mumbled into your hair. She continued after she felt you nod.

“In a few hours, you’re gonna have a soft little snuggly baby, sleeping right on your chest. And her little hand is gonna grab at your skin looking for you and wanting you.” You whimpered softly at the thought, your heart melting. Billie knew that was your weakness.

“And I’ll be right there to help you breastfeed her, I know how important that is to you. And I have another secret too,” She continued to ramble, her own nerves softening when she heard a slight giggle come from you.

“When you feed her, she’s gonna look up at you with the biggest little Bambi eyes you’ve ever seen and she’s gonna love you so much and just cuddle right up to you because you’re her best mama.”

The sting of the needle barely registered over the sound of her voice.

“You’re so strong baby,” She said peppering kisses to your hairline, and rubbing your shoulders before helping you lay back down in bed.

When the doctor finally said, “It’s time to push,” Billie squeezed your hand, eyes shining with pride.

“You ready, baby?”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. “Yeah.”

She helped hold one of your legs, her grip steady and sure. “Alright, mama bear,” she whispered. “Let’s meet our girl.”

With every push, she was there, pressing kisses to your damp forehead, wiping away sweat, whispering, “You’re doing perfect, my love. You’re almost there.”

The pain was overwhelming, exhausting, but Billie’s voice grounded you. “One more, baby. Just one more.”

You gave everything you had, and then—

A cry filled the room.

Your whole body trembled as the doctor lifted your daughter into the air, the tiny, wiggling baby letting out a strong, fierce wail. Tears blurred your vision. Billie let out a choked sob, her forehead dropping against yours.

“She’s here,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Oh my god, baby. She’s here.”

The doctor placed your daughter on your chest, and the moment her tiny, warm body pressed against yours, everything else faded away. She was perfect—tiny fingers, round cheeks, a little scrunched-up nose. You let out a breathless laugh, fresh tears slipping down your cheeks.

“She’s so beautiful,” you whispered.

Billie was crying, her hands covering her mouth, her whole body shaking with emotion. Then, she reached out, her fingers tracing over your daughter’s tiny hand. The baby curled her fingers around Billie’s, holding tight.

Billie let out a soft, broken laugh. “She’s got a strong grip,” she whispered, wiping her tears. “Just like her mama.”

You turned your head, catching Billie’s lips in a soft, tearful kiss. “We did it.”

She smiled so big it hurt, her hand cupping your face. “Yeah, baby. We did.”

And as your daughter lay against your chest, as Billie held you both, crying and laughing and pressing endless kisses to your skin, you knew—your world was finally complete.

[stringofswineteeth]

I wasn't going to respond because I wasn't confident in my previous response so didn't that adding on to whatever response anyone had was going to be helpful, wasn't much to add that would be worth disagreeing with whoever responds, they'd have it handled.

I'm responding because I don't think your addition is worth disagreeing with. But, you said you can't wrap your head around it, so I am going to explain my concerns because I think they're important to understand.

There ARE people impersonating legitimate researchers right now for nefarious purposes. And it's not about it not being the "perfect time" it is about it being outright terrifying time, where I'm not even convinced getting gender related healthcare from verifiable organizations is safe. This isn't something I'd advocate against doing because there's a lot of complexities to personal situations and everyone must take calculated risks.

There's plenty of links I wouldn't trust and risks I wouldn't take that I wouldn't get in the way of others' decisions surrounding, at least without verifying that it is ONLY dangerous.

Basically, I don't think my response should've been what it was, but I also think it is worth considering why I would respond that way. The level of danger related to all things being openly queer, especially getting entered into a database as such, is unprecedented in my lifetime, not just imperfect. On top of that, the people involved are very young, and the economic situation might encourage making rash decisions when money is involved. Also ig worth noting that the dangers of unknown links have only grown.

Again, I think I probably should've minded my own business, especially if I'm not willing to do research into the organization I am concerned about or click links provided. I also think what I was advocating for, hiding, can be damaging because part of the goal is not just to kill us, but also to make those of us who remain invisible, and I hadn't thought through the implications of that.

I'm editing in an addition because I'd rather be done with this, but I am still thinking about it. All the above that I said holds true, but I don't feel right about leaving it there. Yes, we need to be loud and make sure our voices and history is not erased. At the same time, it is extremely important to be aware of the risks you are taking and make your choices very intentionally. If you have investigated this source and have decided they are trustworthy and contributing to their study is important enough that it is worth the risk, absolutely be brave and go forward with that. I don't want your voice erased, I just don't want you to put yourself in danger that isn't balanced out by the good it does. please be extremely careful. I wouldn't feel okay about leaving this up without really making that point clear. Especially under unverified links to the same type of content we KNOW is being imitated by people who wish us harm.

I am not encouraging you to roll over, I am encouraging you to tread extremely carefully while acknowledging that there are some risks worth taking. It is up to you to decide what those are.

Researchers at the Lyda Hill Institute for Human Resilience with the University of Colorado Colorado Springs are recruiting LGBTQ+ teens (ages 15-18) and their caregivers for a study of an online group program.

Parents and teens can EACH earn up to $160 for their participation.

Click the link below to learn more!

[sabrinahawthorne]

Let’s Grow the RPG Hobby

Inspired by this post and the conversation surrounding it.

So the RPG world is facing a multitude of interconnected problems. Let’s talk about them, shall we?

---

1: The Problem(s)

Writing this, I find it hard to pinpoint a way to frame the subject of this post as a single thing. But it’s also impossible to treat it as it it’s a collection of separate problems. In reality, the issues facing the indie RPG world are A Hydra; a many-headed conglomeration of related issues, which each require organized, dedicated work to solve. A few examples:

The Normie-Indie Divide

A problem close to my heart, The Normie-Indie Divide describes the gradient between the mainstream of an artistic hobby and the really independent stuff. I compare this to movies a lot, but the more apt analogy is video games. The N-I-D in the videogame industry is so small as to be virtually nonexistent.

We can see this via a number of factors – one example being that the same outlets which cover massive blockbusters & sequels like Assassin’s Creed and God of War, also cover popular indie titles like Celeste and Hollow Knight. Then, freelance journalists who write for those publications (Jacob Geller is an example) go on to cover much smaller games on their own time, and so on. There’s a smooth gradient between the media coverage of the huge stuff, all the way down to a thriving (if still underserved) super-independant industry.

The N-I-D in RPGs feels uncrossable. The most well known RPG is so big it’s currenly riding the high of its second major hollywood adaptation in 20 years, and the second most popular – Vampire the Masquerade – is an unknown even to some indie RPG fans.* This hobby is shockingly impenetrable, even to those of us who spend our days swimming in the deepest end of the pool.

The Supply & Demand Problem

This one’s simple: People are pumping out RPGs by the truckload, and there are just too many! Not only does this make it hard to sift through everything to find the thing you want to read, play, or review, it also makes it nearly impossible to get anyone’s eyeballs on the cool thing you just released!

As others have pointed out, this problem is exacerbated by the fact that relative to some other art media, it’s pretty quick and painless to whip up your own zine or one-pager and publish it on itch. This disincentivises even the most invested of us from looking at a ton of new games, and means that sharing your work can feel like you’re being ignored by a huge crowd.

A Road To Solutions

If all of that is making you feel pretty bad for the future of this medium, you’re not alone. It can feel pretty hopeless facing all of these problems as an indie designer when all the tools you have at your disposal are a tumblr account and a few indie friends to complain to.

But the truth is, I think that this Hydra is eminently slayable. I just don’t think we can do it alone. That in mind, I’ve spent a large portion of my day putting together…

The Call to Action

I think there needs to be organized, persistent effort put into the future of this hobby and this industry, and I think it needs to start the way all good movements do: with a lot of petty, semantic argumentation over definitions and implementation. And to kick things off, here’s my step zero: If you’re reading this post because I’ve tagged you in it (or because I’ve sent you a link to it), my Dms are open. I want to put together a discord group chat† of my peers within RPG tumblr who are invested in tackling The Hydra, such that we can start brainstorming plans of attack to disseminate into the wider community.

The issues I wish to address are these:

The Normie-Indie Divide: How do we go about cultivating a casual audience of indie RPG fans who can bring sustainability and longevity to the industry?

The Supply & Demand Problem: How do we minimize the cognitive load of sorting through the huge volume of work extant in this medium, and more generally encourage peer-to-peer interaction within the community, like news coverage, reviews, and marketing?

The Cognitive Frontload Problem: How do we make it easier to actually engage with a given RPG, considering the amount of cognitive & temporal investment needed? Further, how do we make RPGs, both general and specific, more accessible to readers with a wide variety of abilities, preferences, and available time?

The Insular Community Problem: How do we better connect this hobby with itself, such that it feels a little less like several dozen cliques across 4-6 platforms, and more like the growing, evolving single hobbyist community that it is? Further, how do we make this hobby more accessible to newbies outside the influence of The Hegemons of the Coast?

And more. I’m positive I haven’t thought of everything, and that’s exactly why this needs to be a group effort.

As a last note: Please tag other people! The folks I’ve mentioned here are just those who I personally feel I know well enough to tag; let’s get the rest of the community involved! If you know someone who would be interested who isn’t on tumblr, they can email me: sabrinahawthornegames@proton.me.

*I’m not kidding. Multiple times within the last four months, I’ve introduced VtM to people who I would consider pretty in the sauce of RPGs. I’m talking folks who’ve played Heart: The City Beneath or Wanderhome. It’s bizarre.

†I need to stress that this is only a start. I’m not looking to start a big public discord unless that’s what a group of folks decide is the right call. By “group chat,” I mean “a chat which exists for long enough to hold 1-3 group voice calls to discuss and hash things out, before it’s dissolved in favor of the execution of whatever plans we devise.”

@theresattrpgforthat; @omophagic-beast; @ladytabletop; @rowansender; @monsterfactoryfanfic; @arsene-inc; @toyourstations

[persicipen]

𑑛 “IN HIS HANDS” ﾉ ALHAITHAM. GENSHIN IMPACT

gn reader ﾉ words 1.4k ✘ you’re a mess (affectionately). needy making out. sweet bantering. also fingering. he gives you the best orgasm of your life ✘ ADULT CONTENT ﾉ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Whatever has happened between you two — an exchange of sorts, that’s for sure, filled with misunderstood sentences and apologies and laughter — now dawns on you in the form of his handsome body closing the distance between you two. Alhaitham grins at that, such a smug smile of victory painting his face because he’s well aware that your initial reluctance was because of your bashfulness.

Still, he’d appreciate it a lot if you weren’t so quick to call him a blockhead when denying what you truthfully want. He knows you don’t mean anything bad by it; just some harmless teasing to get back at him when he makes jokes about the time when he couldn’t speak right with a hint of self-derision.

“I’m starting to think you’re too scared to admit I will make you feel a tad too good, hmm.” His lips find yours once again, but this time they have no hurry — the kiss is deep and passionate and every inch of his body comes to meet with yours, trapping your frame underneath.

“You t-think of yourself too highly!” You bite back with a giggle before a low moan of contentment escapes your mouth.

For someone so inscrutable around the edges he sure knows how to work that tongue, tasting every part of you with utmost care. In between kisses, you realise how silly all this is. Why can’t you just let go of any formality and give in to such a splendid idea? If not for you, then at least for him; he seems to have much better plans and an even absurder mind than you ever dared to explore. Surprisingly, as stiff as he appears at first glance because no way anyone would assume a scribe has such lewd thoughts running wild behind those turquoise eyes.

Well, you aren’t so dull-witted either. A bold move of your fingers against his pants makes him hum a wee louder, which encourages you to act with a bit more urgency and tug at the buttons to get them loose. Albeit it takes but one swift movement from his hand to stop you from doing so — he grabs your wrist midway and pulls away just enough to look down at you with mischief gleaming in his red irises. The kind of gleeful expression only a man who knows what’s coming next would show.

“Tch, how impatient can you be…”

You should’ve counted his remark as a threat given the treatment that follows. You should’ve known that the greatest weapon of the scribe is his fingers. And so, with touching and pressing and tapping and massaging, he moulds your body into that pliant self. His name leaves your lips as a quiet sigh, all previous complaints forgotten thanks to such attentive and tender ministrations.

No matter how heavenly it feels already, being touched and taken care of like this, your gut churns with frustration and dissatisfaction since his actions are purposely geared towards getting you riled up instead of helping you reach any sort of release. Though you aren’t about to ask for that with words, not yet anyway. If he needs more incentive to keep going further, though…

You attempt to untangle your trapped arm once again, fumbling a little while holding onto his shoulder. He arches an eyebrow with curiosity when his own light gasp breaks through the facade of such an adept liar. Still, the twitch and swelling of his cock in his pants confirm how much it took out of him to keep silent thus far.

“Why won’t you let yourself go, too?” You breathe out once your wrist is freed. The pads of your fingers tease his jawline, ghosting over his skin until they dip below his chin to lift his head slightly. He is confused by your inquiry, but not discouraged, per se, especially now that you look quite motivated to get him hot as well. “You think the only one enjoying this should be me… What happened with ‘I also deserve some of it’, huh?”

Your free hand slides downwards to grasp his crotch. Through the thick fabric, you notice how hard he is; that must’ve been painful indeed. It’s enough evidence for you to rub and squeeze a little, which prompts a satisfied growl from him, a sign that you’re right on track.

“Later. It is about you, after all.” His response comes in the shape of kisses along your neck and collarbones, though never enough to bruise — merely a tiny amount of pressure for you to remember it’s he who left them there.

At times, it almost tickles how delicate his lips are upon your skin, like feathers falling down a flock of birds flying high in the skies. The warmth that emanates from them, however, reminds you of where else you’d like to feel those lips. Alas, he works on you with his thumb and his other digits instead, stroking in circular motions that cause goosebumps to run up and down your whole figure.

It isn’t long until you arch your back ever so slightly, trying to escape what’s beginning to drive you insane; or at least crave something more than that. Every nerve under your sensitive spots is alight, yearning for more stimulation than his meek actions, even when that palm of his brushes against every sensitive area that turns your vision blurry.

You beg him to slow down, to give you some time to relax after barely reaching your high; he is merciless, dragging the pads of his fingers against the spongy spot deep inside of you, trying to force out of you another cry of pleasure. It crashes upon you like thunder during a heavy storm. Alhaitham’s touch makes you clench and curl into yourself without an ounce of shame. All of your attention lays solely on those fingertips dancing so flawlessly through your throbbing body, driving you mad.

His eyes, burning with a prideful need to prove his knowledge, are focused on your glowing face. Absolutely mesmerised by the moans escaping your mouth, Alhaitham finds a great passion in making you a mess — it feels so good knowing he can reduce you to such a state, mewling his name with tears gathering under your lashes.

He takes you into his muscular arms, tongue licking your tender skin, leaving behind wet trails. A shudder runs through you as he pulls back, your body falling limply on the plush mattress below you. His breath is heavy and ragged, looking at you like this — with lust. Once he is satisfied, he lets go of the last drops of moisture that managed to make it to your thighs. He draws himself closer to you, resting his forehead against yours as he whispers sweet praise into your ear.

“You were doing so well…” Spoken in his breathy, shuddering voice, it echoes through your heart, down to your core clenching on nothing but the remaining wetness.

It only makes you feel even more sensitive than before, and you cannot help but let out an audible moan again. You can almost hear the sound vibrating throughout his body as well, and he knows he will not have the strength to stop now, especially after what just happened between you. He kisses your neck once more, his hand reaching underneath your blouse, running his rough fingertips along your skin.

You whine again, sensing goosebumps rise all over your figure at his touch. He begins kissing all of your face, leaving you gasping for air. You close your eyes tightly and try to keep your breathing steady, but his hands roam through your chest, teasing you in a way that seems to know your weakest spots — driving you crazy.

After a while, when his lips leave your skin, the scribe rests his chin on your shoulder, both of you staring at each other without saying a word.

“Are you still okay?” he asks softly, a gentle smile playing around his mouth and his fingers trailing gently up your stomach.

“I am. I’m sorry I ruined the bedsheets though,” you say apologetically, feeling the embarrassment creeping up your spine.

You have never done anything like this before. Never experienced anything of such intensity.

“It’s fine,” he replies, a small laugh breaking past his lips as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again…” he whispers seductively, his gaze fixated on yours.

Your cheeks burn, and you nod slowly, biting your lip as you turn your head away from him, trying so hard not to show how affected you are. It isn’t easy, seeing Alhaitham looking at you in that kind of manner. How could you refuse this man?

[hillbillyoracle]

Just FYI

I am not a good candidate for your anti-men comments.

As someone who is intersex and swings trans masculine, whose closest friendships have often been with men, I'm just so sick of it.

And yes I say this as someone who's experienced sexual, physical, and psychological violence at the hands of some men.

Some folks are so far up systems theory's ass it seems like they can't conceive of people - but especially men - as individuals with unique experiences, preferences, or hardships.

Let's cut it out.

[damnfeelings09]

Valentine's day countdown: First date - Shadow the Hedghog

Pairing: Shadow the hedghog x female reader Tags: fluff, comfort, awkward crush. Word count: 750. Prompt: you and Shadow have been friends for a while, and although he has a massive crush on you and is dying to have you as more than a friend he's not willing to take that step (secretly he's very insecure okay) after a little encouragement from Sonic he asked you out he never imagined how it would end. Notes: First valentine's day prompt and what better way to start it than with my eternal love Shadow. I'm love/romance depraved so these promts will be fluff in its cheesiest and purest form (like melting chocolate in a super sweet cotton candy ice cream with a Cherry on top kind of sickeningly sweet) This time I'll try a different style so let me know if you like it.

Shadow wasn't afraid of anything. He was the ultimate lifeform after all, then… why did his pulse quicken every time he was near you? Why did he feel his palms get wet each time you smiled at him? Why did his fight or flight response activated every time you were there?

Shadow wasn't afraid of anything. But maybe, maybe he was afraid of what he felt for you, afraid that he would become addicted to the feeling of you caressing his cheek, afraid that he couldn't go on without seeing the sparkle in your eyes every day, afraid of getting used to the warmth of your hand on his, afraid that if he said a word of what he felt he would lose you, because let's be honest, who could love a monster like him?

He was unsure, and every time that happened he went to Rouge, however the bat was not at home, so he went to his second best worst option. Sonic

Sonic with his usual cocky grin as Shadow explained the situation. Sonic, the same Sonic that he punched every chance he got just to release some stress and because he enjoyed it, the same Sonic that screwed up time and time again running away from Amy was the one that Shadow had decided to approach for romantic advice.

“Just don't think too much about it Shads” Sonic had said ”She likes you, trust me”

“Easier said than done”

“Well, it's either that or you'll be stuck with ' what could’ve been' forever.”

Honestly, Sonic hadn't been much help, but at least he had planted the seed of doubt in Shadow. What would be the worst that could happen if he kept his feelings to himself? You would probably find someone, that someone would take your hand, receive your caresses, taste your lips and you would forget about him, leaving him aside, alone, unloved.

No. Shadow wouldn't let that happen, the little bit of love he got from you was too addictive and he wasn't about to let anyone else have it. He had made up his mind and although the chances of you feeling the same were low they still weren't 0. He still had no idea how he managed to do it, well maybe he had a little idea. He knew he had walked you home, he knew he had said a few embarrassing things as you walked together making you laugh, what he didn't know was where he had gotten the courage to ask you out when you were about to enter your house.

“See you tomorrow Shadow,” you said waving goodbye to him.

“Wait” he said almost in a whisper. You turned, shaking your head to the side “I... ah...” he scratched his head.

“Is everything okay?”

“I wanted to... I wanted to ask you out.”

“Sure! You know I love going out with you Shadow”

“As... in a date”

“Oh...” oh? What did that mean, it wasn't the yes he was expecting but it wasn't a denial either, it was as if he had surprised you, as if you didn't imagine he could have feelings for-

“I'd love to” you cut off his thought bringing him back to earth. The smile on your face showed shyness but the pink blush on your cheeks and the loud thumping of your heart confirmed to Shadow that his feelings were reciprocated. “I... I'd like you for a while, just didn't know of you might... like me too” you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear meeting your gaze with Shadow's causing him to blush. If this were a cartoon his eyes would have turned into hearts and little blue birds would fly around his head.

“I've been feeling like this for a while too, just...”

“It’s okay” you smiled “I'll see you tomorrow for our date” you walked up to him and deposited a kiss on his cheek, waving your fingers in a goodbye motion and closing the door behind you. Little did he know that you slid down the door frame, hand on your heart triyng to stop the rush in your body.

Shadow stood outside your door, his hand holding the very spot where your lips had touched his cheek trying to capture the warmth of your touch, his stomach felt funny as if something was churning inside him just remembering your kiss. It was then that he realized that maybe allowing himself to be happy wasn't such a bad thing.

[ajedisith]

Damian is a key character for the SpyxFamily story moving forward. He had the fourth most panels after the main three in 2024. Endo focused quite a bit on Damian so far, from his developing friendship with Anya, strained relationship with his father/family, deep connection with Emile/Ewen, and positive interaction with Loid. This leads me to believe that he will have a bigger role in the upcoming story arcs. Afterall, he is the son of the supposed villain of the whole story. And I do believe Anya and Damian are the central dynamic of this story, at least for now and how Endo set it up 100+ chapters in.

Although him and Anya are not yet friends, they are on their way to a friendship. Their relationship grew a lot from him being a very mean bully, to him sabotaging some of his chances at personal happiness in favor of Anya’s comfort. He is the first person in the whole story to hear about Anya’s telepathy from Anya herself. That’s a huge deal. I believe it foreshadows that he’ll learn the truth and they will be the only two to know about her telepathy for a while before anyone else finds out (ie. his friends, Becky, etc).

Moreover, I find it interesting that Damian first interacts with Loid in a setting where he is both vulnerable due to his father’s looming presence and guided upward by Loid’s encouraging comments (regardless of how fake they were because they may be more genuine later on). Damian is left with a positive impression of Loid and it’s likely he will have more interactions with the Forgers that will leave him wishing he could have that for himself.

Endo also emphasizes both Damian’s strained family dynamics and stabilizing friendship with Ewen and Emile.

His dysfunctional and depressing home life is meant to be a contrast to Anya’s peaceful and fun one, illustrating that found family can be just as powerful as a “real” family. Damian and Anya find themselves in these contrasting environments and, as we’ve already begun to see, they will play an important role in the pair’s dynamic moving forward. Damian craves Anya’s family dynamic, a present father figure like Loid, and loving mother like Yor, while Anya understands Damian’s desire for his father’s approval, because she herself doesn’t know for certain if Loid actually loves her. She mostly thinks about two things — operation strix and Sy-On boy because deep down she wants Loid’s approval and love.

Damian’s friends are one of the few stabilizing aspects of his life. They are a constant, reliable part of his life and their presence humanizes him and creates a space for him to grow as a person instead of the machine that it sometimes feels Eden Academy wants him to be.

It’s always fun to speculate about the future story, so if I’m wrong, that’s totally okay! I love hearing about what other fans think of the future Damian and Anya, so please do share your thoughts!

[da-extroverted-introvert]

Are we even friends? (tasm!Peter Parker x reader)

Fandom: The Amazing Spider-Man, Marvel

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 2.66k

Warnings: angst, death mention, grief

So I had a burst of inspiration and wrote this. I haven't seen the Andrew Garfield Spiderman movies in a hot minute so things may not be entirely accurate but please just roll with it. Working on a part 2 already, hope you enjoy. Please leave feedback!

Dividers by @lavendergalactic

Despite the gnawing feeling deep in your gut, you bring yourself to unbuckle your seat belt and walk out of the car.

You sit in the car and take a few deep breaths. You clutch the bouquet of flowers in your hand, trying to will yourself to step foot out of the car. Even after three months, this is hard to do. It’s like the first time all over again. The grief hits you just as hard as the day of the funeral.

You walk through the long, long aisle of headstones and grave markers. A bunch of people long gone who you’ll never know. It breaks your heart to know that to other people visiting loved ones, Gwen Stacy is just another headstone. Another person nobody will know again.

You finally make it up to Gwen’s grave. You kneel down and gently set down the bouquet. You stay kneeling there, just staring at your best friend’s name.

You take a deep breath before you start speaking.

“Hey. It’s me again.”

You pause for a moment, almost as if you’re expecting a response, even though there hasn’t been a single response throughout the many times you’ve been here.

“My grades are doing really good now. Applied for a few scholarships, and I actually think I might get into an Ivy League.”

You smile gently, knowing Gwen would be so proud of you. Whenever you doubted yourself, she would always encourage you. You remember the countless nights of her helping you with homework, telling you how much you’ve improved. She even said she was positive you’d get into the same school, becoming roommates and actually living together. Like sisters.

“Everyone in school misses you. They still talk about how amazing you were. How smart and how nice.”

Just yesterday you were walking down the hall past Gwen’s locker. There’s still plenty of pictures and decorations commemorating her. It gives you hope that Gwen will not be forgotten for a long time.

But you also think about the looks you get when you walk by. The sad, pitiful looks. You hate those looks. You also think some of those odd expressions are looks of confusion, as it was so weird to see you without Gwen Stacy right in front of you. You’ve always been Gwen Stacy’s best friend. People don’t know how to react seeing you without her.

“Uhmm…Peter misses you.”

You always choke up a bit at this part.

“We all do, of course, but especially Peter. I try to visit him every day. He doesn’t really talk to me though.”

Not that he talked to you too much before Gwen died, but you still felt like mentioning it.

“He just kind of sits in his room all the time. He hasn’t been in school much.”

The few times he has shown up in school, he just kind of ignores everyone. He must be getting tired of those pitiful looks in the hallways too.

“I’ve tried looking out for him. Like…like you would’ve wanted.”

God, you hate this. You really hate this.

“He just won’t let me in. I know he’s not going out as Spider-Man anymore, but he’s just not doing anything. He just sits in his room all the time. Not talking to anyone. Not even May.”

If he isn’t even talking to May, why would he talk to you?

You take a deep breath and finally stand up fully, your legs aching from kneeling on the hard ground for too long.

“I’m actually headed to his place now. I know he probably won’t talk to me, but I’ll still try. For you.”

You try to keep the tears back.

“Even if he doesn’t talk to me, May still lets me hang out. You know she makes the best food.”

You stare at her name again, not wanting to say goodbye again. But you know you have to.

“Anyway, that’s all. Thought I’d keep you updated. I’ll visit same time next week.”

You can almost hear her say goodbye to you. But you know it’s in your head. So you finally turn around and go back to your car, preparing for yet another uneventful visit to the Parker residence.

You knock on the door, preparing to put on a happy face in front of May. She’s such a sweet lady, you don’t want her to worry too much about you. She already has to worry about Peter, and you don’t want to put any extra stress on her shoulders.

Sure enough, May answers the front door with her signature sweet smile.

“Hey there, sweetie! Come on in, I just put on a pot of coffee, you must be freezing out here.”

She ushers you in and you revel in the warm atmosphere of the home.

“Thanks, May. I appreciate it.”

She dismisses your statement with a wave.

“Think nothing of it, hun.”

You sit down at the coffee table while May gets the coffee ready. While she does, you look around the home, which you’ve done countless times at this point.

Your favorite thing to look at is the picture on the wall of Peter. He must’ve been young, maybe sixth grade. In the picture, he’s at a science fair, holding up a nice red ribbon with “1st Place” written on it. May and Ben are standing proudly behind him as he smiles brightly at the camera. It makes you smile, seeing him so happy. But you also get sad, wishing he had some of that childlike joy back in his life.

May brings comes back in the room with two cups of coffee in her hand.

“Here you go, should warm you right up.”

You accept the cup with a smile, embracing the warm feeling on your hands. The warmth spreads when you take a sip. The coffee is nothing special, just as generic as any cup of coffee, but knowing that May made it for you and how happy she was to see you makes it taste better.

“Peter’s in his room if you want to say hi.”

She didn’t need to tell you where he was. You knew.

“Okay, I’ll go see him.”

You take a final sip of coffee and walk to Peter’s room.

You contemplate knocking on his door. You know if you knock that he probably won’t answer you, but if you just walk in, he still won’t talk to you. So, knowing the answer will be the same either way, you just walk in.

It looks like Peter hasn’t moved an inch since your last visit. He’s just laying on his bed, covered in blankets, head turned away from you. You know he’s awake though, you can tell by the way his body slightly tensed at the door opening.

“Hey, Pete.”

You speak gently, almost like you were afraid to scare him off. You close the door as softly as you can behind you.

“Missed you at school. I had the teachers give me your assignments so I can give them to you.”

No response. As usual.

You don’t know how to speak to him. You never really did. Neither of you really spoke to each other before he started dating Gwen, and when they did start dating, there was only small interactions between you. But still, you liked those small interactions. They were nice. Made you feel like you were sort of friends. But now that Gwen is gone, you don’t know where you stand.

Even so, you still try. You know that’s what Gwen would want. She wouldn’t want the love of her life wasting away like this.

“Have you eaten at all today?”

No answer.

“I know you’re, like, superhuman and all, but even so, you need to have some food in your body.”

You lick your lips and sigh, getting a little bit frustrated. It’s the same thing every day. You talk, he lays there, then you go home. You don’t feel like your presence is helping him that much, but if you don’t make an effort, you know you’ll feel guilty.

“How about some pizza? I can order one and it’ll be delivered in no time.”

As expected, no response. God, this boy is so infuriating sometimes.

“I know you hear me. Your spidey-senses kind of force you to.”

It’s still weird that Peter’s Spider-Man. You only found out about his secret by accident. You just walked into Gwen’s room, without knocking of course, as best friends do, and there you saw a surprised Gwen and Peter in his suit, mask in hand. That was a few weeks before the accident.

“Come on, Peter. You need to eat something. We can’t have you wasting away in here.”

“Why do you care?”

Even though his voice is raspy and not at all loud, you still flinch. That’s the most you’ve gotten out of him in three months.

“I, uh, what do you mean? Of course I care.”

“Why?”

His voice is a little louder this time.

“Because, we’re friends, Peter. I care about you.”

He sits up in his bed and faces you. You can finally get a good look at him. His once bright eyes, full of joy and mischief are dull and bloodshot.

“Since when? I mean, we barely talk.”

You don’t really know what to say, because it is true, you never talked with Peter as much as you would’ve liked to, but you still kind of thought those small interactions amounted to a friendship.

Just as you try to speak again, he talks some more.

“We both know the only reason we ever hung out was because of Gwen. And she’s not here now. So, please, just…”

He moves his arms around, trying to get his frustration across.

“Leave me alone.”

When he says this, he looks dead into your eyes, which are slowly but surely filling up with tears. You try not to let them fall.

You’ve been wishing for Peter to say something to you for months now, and now that it’s happened, you just want to curl into a ball on the ground.

Not wanting to be in the room with him any longer, you turn around and face the door. You put your hand on the doorknob but before you twist it, you turn your head towards Peter.

“I know you never really thought of me as a friend, Peter. A part of me always knew you just putting up with me for Gwen’s sake. But I always respected you, Pete. You were kind, funny, cool. Never mean.”

A couple of tears drops fall despite yourself.

“I remember when there was that Homecoming dance. You and Gwen were going together but I didn’t have a date. I was fine staying home, but you felt bad and invited me to come with you guys. You didn’t have to, nobody was forcing you, you just offered. Gwen didn’t even have to ask you to, you just did it.”

You wipe your cheek for a moment, still trying to keep eye contact with the boy in front of you.

“It was small things like that that made me like you. You’re such a good person Peter. I mean, you’re fucking Spider-Man, of course you’re a good person.”

You take one final big breath.

“So, you may not consider me a friend, Peter Parker, but you are mine. You are my friend. And I don’t have many of those, so, I’ve got to look after you.”

You finally twist the doorknob and open the door.

“It’s what Gwen would’ve wanted.”

With that final sentiment, you walk out of his room and speed past May, who is clearly worried about the tears on your face, eager to leave this house and go home to cry.

You spend the rest of your night watching movies in your room. You’re laying on your bed in your pajamas, bowl of popcorn in your lap. You glance at the opposite side of the bed. The side Gwen would sit as she laughed at the movies with you.

You try to focus on the movie, trying not to think about Gwen so much, and also trying not to think about your fight with Peter.

Was it even a fight? Neither of you yelled, but he did make you cry. He said some hurtful things. Things that were partially true. But you still didn’t want to see him. Seeing him hurt you a lot. All you can think about was the way he looked at you, with annoyance, frustration, anger. You felt bad for him, you know he’s grieving too, but he just made your blood boil and your eyes well up with tears.

Despite this, you know you’ll still visit him tomorrow. Because Gwen would want you to. Because that’s what friends do.

You hear a knock on your bedroom door.

“Come in!”

Instead of your mom or dad like you expected, none other than Peter Parker walks through your door.

He’s actually dressed in New clothes, as opposed to the weeks old clothes you saw him wear earlier. His eyes look like they’re filled with guilt.

“Hey.”

You’re not used to seeing Peter Parker in your room. He only showed up a few times when he crashed yours and Gwen’s movie nights.

“Hey.”

Peter looks at the ground nervously, hand reaching to scratch the back of his head.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I have been an absolute jerk to you and you don’t deserve that.”

You nod slowly, processing his words.

“You’re grieving. I get it. It’s okay.”

He quickly shakes his head.

“No, no, it’s not okay. I know I’m grieving, but you are too. I’ve just been shutting you out when all you want to do is help. It’s not right.”

You have no words. You certainly weren’t expecting this, but maybe you should have. It is Peter, after all. He’s a superhero. Always trying to make things right.

“You have always been nice to me, and you never gave up on me, even when I completely shutting you out. I haven’t been a good friend to you, and I want that to change.”

Hearing him actual say that he wants to be your friend warms your heart more than it should.

You give him a slight smile.

“You can start being a good friend and have a movie night with me?”

At first, Peter looks shocked that you’re willing to just forgive him so quickly. But then the expression on his face soon turns jovial as you shoot over on the bed, allowing him to sit next to you.

You smile as you press play on the movie you were watching. You can feel Peter’s eyes on the side of your face, but you ignore it until you know he’s watching the movie. Both of you just sit and watch, hands leisurely grabbing popcorn from the bowl between you. It almost feels normal, natural.

It actually feels like you have a friend again. Not that he can ever replace Gwen. And you know you could never replace Gwen in Peter’s eyes either. But both of you are filling the space that Gwen’s death left. It makes things easier for the both of you. It’s nice knowing that you have each other during this difficult time.

After a while, when all is calm between you and Peter and the movie is almost over, you turn to look over at Peter.

“You know, I visited Gwen’s grave today. I visit every week. You could come with me if you want.”

Peter is still for a moment, eyes locked on the screen in front of you. You wish you didn’t bring it up, knowing that Peter is just now starting to talk about Gwen’s death, and now you may have pushed too far too fast.

But then he looks over at you, a sad but gentle smile on his face.

“Yeah. I think that’d be nice.”

[cyberesc]

BEST ENEMY. (1/3)

ft. Prohero!Midoriya x Villain(?)Reader

synopsis: He's the Number One Hero, you're his greatest enemy, and yet no matter how much blood stains your hands, Izuku can't bring himself to stop loving you.

˖⁺‧₊˚ tags & warnings: heavy angst, mentions of blood/violence, mentions of alcoholism, morally grey themes, self-loathing, "if things were different" vibes, unresolved tension

note: I was in the mood for some angst, i wrote this drabble listening to //Ma Meilleure Ennemie// and was inspired by Ekko and Jinxs' relationship

part 2 | part 3

A melody plays in the background as Izuku polishes the armor of his suit, careful with each groove and scratch. His hands are methodical, just like they were the night before when they had closed around your throat.

He’s spent years mastering his self-control, but every time he fights you, it unravels. You make him reckless. Sloppy.

The melody plays on repeat in the dim silence of his apartment, a relic of simpler times. Homecoming. Your hand in his, guiding him through a dance neither of you were particularly good at, but it didn’t matter. You laughed at his awkward footwork, and he swore he’d never felt so warm.

He should stop listening to the song, stop scrubbing away phantom blood that will never truly wash off, stop thinking about the way you smiled at him as he nearly killed you.

You always did have a way of twisting a knife in his heart and making it feel like a lover’s embrace.

Izuku has been in love with you for as long as he’s known what love is.

It was an innocent thing, once. Snot-nosed kids whispering dreams in the dark, two outcasts clinging to each other like lifelines. He wanted to be a hero. You never did.

But you humored him.

You encouraged his dreams, smiled and cheered for him when no one else would, cleaned his wounds when Bakugo shoved him into the dirt. He thought, maybe, if he became strong enough, if he became the kind of hero you could believe in, you wouldn’t have to pretend anymore.

He was wrong.

He knows the way your mind works, the cynicism carved into your bones long before you had the words to explain it. Even as a child, you saw the cracks in the system, the hypocrisy in the heroes you were supposed to admire. He wonders if you ever truly believed in him, or if you just didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.

He should hate you.

He wants to hate you.

But when you’re standing across from him, bloodied and grinning, taunting him, all he sees is the person who held him together when he was falling apart.

And that’s why it has to be him.

You both know it.

If you ever go down, it’ll be by his hands.

And if anyone is going to break him beyond repair, it’ll be by yours.

You tilt your head, watching him. He feels stripped bare under your gaze, as if you can see the cracks forming in his resolve.

“You tried to kill me.” Your grin widens, something cruel curling at the edges. “How does it feel?”

His stomach churns. You talk about your near death as if it was a good thing, like his fingers hadn’t trembled around your throat, like you hadn’t looked up at him with relief as he nearly ended you.

He turns on his heel.

“Running away so soon?” you call after him, voice laced with disappointment.

Izuku doesn’t answer. If he stays, he’ll do something reckless again. And he’s already drowning in enough guilt to kill him.

He drowns it the only way he knows how.

The burn of alcohol is nothing compared to the memory of you.

Izuku doesn’t drink often, not really. He knows it’s a bad habit, knows he’s letting you win every time he lets himself spiral. But after that night, after nearly killing you...

He needed something to shut you out.

His fingers tighten around his glass, knuckles white. He wonders, bitterly, if you’d laugh at him for this. If you’d be proud of yourself for breaking the Number One Hero down to this.

Somewhere between his third and fourth drink, he stops wondering.

The next morning, he wakes up with a stranger in his bed, someone whose eyes are the wrong color and hair the wrong shade. He feels bad waking them up but not bad enough to let them stay.

You meet again in the ruins of a battlefield, smoke curling in the air, blood staining the ground.

Izuku is breathing hard, hands shaking from exhaustion. You’re grinning like you haven’t just barely escaped death.

He should say something. Should demand answers, should beg you to stop this.

“I hate you,” he breathes instead.

You laugh, head tilting as if he just said something endearing. “I know."

His jaw clenches. “I wish I never met you.”

You hum in acknowledgment, cleaning your knifes on the ledge of the building.

Izuku stares at you with a raw ache in his chest. He should finish this. Right here, right now.

He stares at you for a few moments, watching your fingers clean the metal of your blade. A chill runs down his spine at the familiar routine.

He shouldn’t be happy that you’d kept an eye on him, that you couldn’t stay away even if you tried.

After a long pause of silence, you look up at him with furrowed brows at his inaction, mouth in a firm line. You were giving him a chance. He missed it, again.

You look down at the road below you, not bothering to spare him a glance as you jumped from the ledge.

“See you soon, hero.”

And then you’re gone, disappearing into the foggy night.

Izuku is left standing there, the weight of his own heart suffocating him.

He wants to hate you.

But he never will.

© property of cyberesc 2025. please refrain from plagiarizing any of my works and do not repost/copy onto any other sites.

[messrsrarchives]

Hello! I adore your blog and your yaps so much I’ve been following you for a few months now and I first wanted to tell you that you do so much good! So, a huge thanks to you for using your platform for trans topics/Palestine/as well as fandom etiquette/awareness and for just being amazing!

All things aside though, I do have a question! I was wondering what your opinion on @the-dead-gay-oscars was. I stumbled upon it recently and felt kind of an icky feeling about it, because it just feels like another way of comparing fanfic to mainstream media when fanfic isn’t really meant to be like that? It’s also putting a bunch of fanfic out there for people to vote on/critique publicly, and I cant find whether or not the fanfic writers are asked for permission for their fics to be included in such an event- especially when I know a lot of people have boundaries over that kind of thing. I just wonder if it brings back that almost expectation for fanfiction to be like published modern literature/movies. I doubt anyone had the intention for it to be like that but I just don’t really like it?

Idk, it just left me feeling weird about the whole thing, but maybe I’m being over dramatic and critical over something meant to be fun, which could totally be the case. 😅

Anyways, thank you so much for what you do! Have a nice day!

hiii !! first of all!!! thank youuu 😖😖🫂🫂

and yeah,,, not a fan. idk if this mention tags them and if it does, sorry!!! just some gentle opinions 😖

idk like,, "best" categories in fandom really ick me out. and i think it can be very discouraging to others? like how does the voting work? do they select nominations and then others vote?

oh you've said they do! so yes, then it turns into "oh my work wasnt as good as the one that won" etc etc - i just think there's better ways to show appreciation than creating more pedestals in a fandom that already has a massive issue with idolisation, imposter syndrome, etc etc

and whether the authors are asked permission or not is irrelevant to me (actually,, probably worse if they are and agree in my mind)

idk. good concept, poor execution that i personally think is just discouraging and competitive when this space is for everyyyyyyone to create and enjoy without worrying whether you're better than someone else or the "best" etc etc. and yes, 100% brings expectations.

i get it was for appreciation, but i dislike the notion when really you could just comment on a fic and say you liked it, and then make a post recommending it, or rec it to your friends etc etc. you know??

we don't need awards and competition, we need community and an encouraging space where everyone feels confident to engage and write and draw and edit and do whatever it is that they do without worrying about whether they're the best at it or if they're as good as someone else

unless i get best rant poster. then it's okay. (I'M KIDDING THAT WAS A /J. THAT WAS A JOKE.)

[luvr444writes]

could you pls do hamzah dating headcanons

Hamzah (TheFantastic) dating headcanons

HamzahTheFantastic x Fem!reader

Bf!Hamzah who ... is always getting or making you gifts. He might have a unique approach to giving gifts—something quirky and unexpected but meaningful. Hamzah would likely know how to pick something thoughtful that shows he pays attention to your interests, even if it's a little offbeat or unconventional.

Bf!Hamzah who ... would never lie to you. The both of you think that one of the biggest parts to keeping a relationship healthy and stable, is honesty. Hamzah would never do anything to even slightly risk ruin your relationship or lose you.

Bf!Hamzah who ... is comfortable being vulnerable with you. Even though he's just a silly, goofy guy sometimes, Hamzah definitely has a deeper side. He’d be the type of boyfriend who is comfortable being vulnerable with you and sharing personal thoughts, opening up in a way that makes you feel like you're truly important to and trusted by him.

Bf!Hamzah who ... is so thoughtful towards you, remembering the small things like your favorite snacks or how you like your coffee. He’s always checking in on you, making sure you’re doing okay both mentally and physically. If you’re feeling down, he’ll be there to comfort you in whatever way you need, even if it’s just to share some quiet time together.

Bf!Hamzah who ... is always making you laugh just to see your smile. Always cracking cheesy dad jokes or referencing a funny video you both had laughed about the other day. As long as he gets to see you smiling and happy (especially when he knows he's the one making you feel that way).

Bf!Hamzah who ... is romantic in his own way. Sure, he might not be the perfect book boyfriend or anything, but he’ll do little things that show how much he cares. Maybe he’ll surprise you with a handwritten note, or he’ll make your favorite meal just because he was thinking of you. His gestures are subtle but heartfelt.

Bf!Hamzah who ... is extremely loyal. He makes sure to let you know that you’re his priority. He would never let anything or anyone come between the bond you share (not even Martin-Chan or the channel). He always makes time for you, regardless of what his plans are. He values trust and honesty in the relationship and is always open about his feelings.

Bf!Hamzah who ... accepts you completely for who you are. He admires your individuality and loves that you're your own person. He always encourages you to be unapologetically yourself. He never tries to change you but supports you in embracing your true identity. You’ll never feel pressured to conform when you're with him.

Bf!Hamzah who ... is a great listener. If you're having a rough time or just need to vent, he's the best person to talk to. He listens attentively, validates your feelings, and offers support or advice when needed. Sometimes, just being around him and talking is all you need to feel better.

Bf!Hamzah who ... gets jealous. While he’s generally chill, if someone is giving you a little too much attention, he might get slightly possessive—though in a very laid-back, non-toxic way. He won’t be dramatic about it, but he’ll definitely want to make sure people know you’re his. If anything does make him feel jealous, he’ll just casually pull you aside and reassure you how much you mean to him.

Bf!Hamzah who ... always takes care of you. Whether you're sick or just feeling mentally exhausted, Hamzah will do everything he can to take care of you. He’ll bring you tea, give you blankets, and insist you relax while he handles everything else. If you're feeling down emotionally, he’s the kind of boyfriend who'll encourage you to take some time for self-care, always offering a comforting presence.

Bf!Hamzah who ... takes pride in your achievements. Whenever you accomplish something big or small, he’ll celebrate you like you’re the most amazing person in the world. Whether it’s getting a promotion, finishing a project, or even learning a new skill, he’s your biggest fan and will make sure you know how proud he is of you. He often loves taking you out to dinner to celebrate with just the two of you or even sitting at home and facetiming Martin and Mandy to tell them the big news.

[velvetvexations]

one of the wild things for me, just from my perspective, about the whole "male/female socialization" discussion is the extent to which it applies outside of "bio sex" too, and the fact that it is applied outside of that might be where some TRFs have gotten it in their heads that all trans women are secretly seen as women

speaking from my own experience as someone who was afab but spent my early childhood as a "genderweird girl" (tomboy to the nines, became a trans man in adulthood, etc) is the extent to which i was simultaneously punished for not doing Girl right, but also because i was a tomboy i was expected to still adhere to masculinity in a "correct" away among those who DID accept me as a tomboy. if i, as a tomboy, had "girly interests" my more tomboy or boy peers would react with a "Ugh that's so gay" and i have actually been called a faggot for it, disparaged for it, made to feel shame over it, etc, despite having been afab and identified as a girl at the time. like, generally people absolutely didn't like that i was a masculine girl, but those who "accepted" that i was got mad when i didn't do masculine right either and would disparage me for being faggoty. and when i did show interest in other boys, that was unacceptable and invasive only in a way where if i'd been a gay boy. though at the same time i certainly wasn't encouraged to be a dyke either. and throughout it all i experienced constant misogyny and have had horrible misogynistic violence inflicted on me. but also androphobic violence?

to add onto that, i know of those who grew up as masculine girls who were raised with expectations of toxic masculinity rather than femininity, because they were tall, strong, broad, "boyish", "naturally masculine", etc., and they're disparaged if they seek out femininity

and then on the flip side you have boys who grow up feminine or at the very least genderweird and especially as they socialize more with girls, they are to uphold expectations of femininity in those spaces while still being disparaged for not doing boy right. but as a Feminine Boy if they do masculine things, they are outcast by those who "accepted" them as feminine. sure the "mean girl catty gay twink" is a stereotype that is applied harmfully but not one without basis in reality, and when as men they are cruel they are cruel in ways often attributed to the feminine or to women, and these men also often experience misogyny from their peers in some way or another

this is why we really need to take seriously the idea that anyone can be subjected to transmisogyny and transandrophobia (and exorsexism!), because we see it all over the place in the earliest stages of child socialization and applied in ways that defy biological sex even

i think what happens is that people are classed along gendered lines for both biological sex reasons and for secondary characteristic reasons.

"if you are a big broad girl you have failed at being a girl for being big and broad and we will never let you live that down but you best never try to access femininity because what you are defies what i think is feminine and what feminine should be. so you better be big and broad and strong and not cry and not wear dresses"

and "if you are a small weak boy you have failed at being a boy for being small and weak and we will never let you live that down and whenever you try to access masculinity we will disparage you and hurt you and treat you as lesser for it and someone as small and weak and non threatening as you cannot be a real man because it defies what i think are real men"

as far as trans people are concerned there are trans people who were gender conforming before transition and those were not gender conforming, and so we have such wildly different experiences coming into the trans discussion, which is heavily treated like we need a one size fits all definition of The Trans Experience

idk it feels clunky to say there is "masculine socialization" and "feminine socialization" (without just creating a Second Binary) and these can be applied regardless of agab while people are still punished for not adhering to the expectations of their agab, but i have no other way to describe it. just that i think we need to discuss it more because it is so much more complex than we're currently allowing into the discussion

Yeah, exactly, either AGAB can be socialized either way, or neither. TRFs just assume that anyone who says "male socialization" must be trying to say all trans women were male socialized because they know TERFs say that and they haven't bothered to read anything beyond that.

[monkebearness]

Maple Spice and Everything Nice

Yamada Kaede (tripleS) x Male Reader

Tags: smut, alcohol, fingering, blowjob, daddy kink, wall and standing sex, some fluff and angst

Word count: 10.4k

After nine tedious minutes of waiting in line, four friends finally enter through the doors of hell, or heaven, depending on one’s perspective. Welcomed by the almost deafening speakers, they witness the wave of guests all over the place, most of whom may as well embody the nine inner circles of Inferno or the seven terraces of Purgatorio—although some of them will probably consider this realm their paradise for a night. Yet one of these friends does not have the same level of enthusiasm as the other three as his mind is filled with doubt and regret for setting foot in this place on this weekend night.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea to bring me here.”

“Come on, now. No need to be a party pooper, man. We promise you won’t regret this.”

“I already am, though. Besides, I don't mind being a party pooper.”

“Dude, Honggi’s not entirely wrong. Junghoon-ah, we might not get another chance to have fun in the next two weeks since people started booking reservations at the diner!”

“Well, I can’t blame customers for wanting to dine there. Isn’t that what gives us jobs in the first place? I can’t even believe you’re also going along with this, Kangmin-ah.”

“I know, I know... But think of this occasion as spending our paychecks for something new and fresh. Plus, you're the most hardworking guy between the four of us… This is your time to relax!”

“But this isn't the first place that comes to my mind when it comes to relaxation.”

“Oh, just wait until you meet someone who will change your mind,,” Honggi points his finger at him a few times. “Then you'll thank us for letting you come here!”

Autumn has arrived. Clubs were never Junghoon's style, it never has been. Ever since he’s gone on his own, he often spent his independence working from job to job across various kitchens in Seoul. But his colleagues couldn't help but insist that he tag along with them during his sixth month of working at a casual dining restaurant. And tonight, they’re inside a venue where most casual things also happen to their visitors. It’s the first time in a while that he hasn’t stayed inside home. Aside from buying groceries during weekends, going on jogs at local parks, or killing his free time on his laptop with content that’s either insightful or “brain rot-inducing,” though he tends to balance the two, more in favor of the former.

“Yeah, dude,” Insoo chimes in. “Who knows if some of us will be lucky enough to bring a chick to their place tonight? Ever thought about that benefit?”

“You should’ve definitely cleaned up your own place first if you want that to happen,” Junghoon shoots back.

“Eh,” he shrugs. “I’ll just head to their place instead and I'll make them a mess.”

“You know, words like those are why you haven’t hit off with anyone whenever we go here,” Kangmin chimes in.

“Whatever,” he grumbles. He’s had enough of his friends’ banters. “Are we just gonna stand here in the corner like a bunch of dorks or are we gonna start pushing our luck?”

Junghoon considers these given options. “I actually don't mind just standing here—”

“Come on. Get in there, man!” Honggi slowly pushes him as they both walk into the middle of the dance floor while the other two follow. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

And there he is. On the spot with the rest of the guests.

Junghoon slowly nods his head, awkwardly moving to the rhythm of the music. The less he became conscious of the crowd around him, the more he encouraged himself to keep on moving to the upbeat sound. Closing his eyes on his spot, his thoughts reassure him of an upside of clubbing, unlike what his buddies have been suggesting for the past half an hour. It’s a reminder that clubbing doesn’t have to be about flirting or mingling with others. Knowing that he may no longer want to visit a place like this the next time he’ll be invited, he gives it all. Tonight, the kitchen and restaurant are the least of his worries. It's about time he serves himself. Plus, he’s watched or played enough TikTok challenges in the background during his spare time to not be empty-handed for this hyper moment.

But after a minute has passed, Junghoon suddenly bumps into a woman in front of him with force not strong enough to be painful, yet strong enough to interrupt her movement and once unbothered mojo. Slowing down his dancing, he remains alert, with adrenaline pumping to his veins, bracing himself for any form of outburst or reaction from the very person he’s now.

“Joesonghamnida…” he speaks out—raising his voice so she can hear, knowing that he had already disrupted her ethereal spirits.

But as she turns around and meets her eyes with his, her eyes of confusion transform into disbelief, widening at the sight of the man. And just before Junghoon can bow to her in a rapid succession, he reacts similarly as the woman. “Junghoon-sunbaenim?”

“Kaede-ssi.” A smile forms on both their faces, having found familiarity amidst the neon sea of strangers. As the intensity of the music drops, both take the chance to walk to the bar counter, sitting down on the stools and offering each other drinks as an icebreaker to make up for lost time and catch up on their present in the next several minutes.

He looks at her, realizing how much her hair is shorter compared to their last encounter. As her attire looks more daring. It's a new look for her, but he can't help but admit how it suits her, at least in his mind. “You’re the last person I’d see in a place like this,” he teases, before taking a sip of the bottle of light beer she bought him.

“Feeling’s mutual,” she tuts, making him chuckle. To him, she’s more or less the same snarky, sometimes menacing, and cutesy junior he knows, just a few years older since their last encounter. Still kinda snarky, he thinks.

“Well, I didn’t go here by choice,” he clarifies, taking a glance at a distance to check on his friends at the other side of the club, grooving with faces who he has no familiarity with as the music continues to keep enchanting the larger crowd in the middle back into the dimension where electronic and techno music dominates.

“Not all of us have a choice at first,” she takes a sip of the same bottle he bought her, noticeably a much larger amount than his. “I know that sounds dramatic, but I never expected to be an occasional visitor here until my friends practically begged me. Still, there’s a sense of comfort here the longer you're here.”

“I guess that’s true,” he nods, seeing the other side of guests at the venue. Ones who are like them, simply laid back on their seats, chatting or cracking up jokes with friends or newfound companions while the rest keep on grooving. “But that being said, what are you up to these days? Don’t tell me you’re just visiting here every night.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna have fun somewhere where I’m also working. I do some work at some side gigs here and there, and I’m either a part-time coach and fitness or dance instructor on weekdays, I also do some modeling and photoshoots for quick bucks.”

“Got a lot on your plate I see,” he quips, impressed by her list of jobs, listing them as if she’s citing him her past experiences for a job application.

“Yeah, but I’m just making ends meet while I try to find a more stable job…” she groans. “You see, this is why idols are so damn lucky.”

“Couldn’t your parents have helped you with that?” he wonders, though his tone remains cautious. “But I hope you don't take it the wrong way! It's just, the last time I saw them, I remember they were probably one of the most thoughtful and protective folks out there. I’m sure helping you with jobs shouldn’t be that different.”

“It's fine,” she replies, chortling at his abrupt tone of panic. “I get it... But looking back, living here is different from Toyama. I can’t always rely on them. I get to start over and learn to mostly live making my own choices, though it’s also thanks to you and our club that adjusting in these conditions has become a little less difficult.”

“Of course, you were an amazing addition to Mad Money… You were a bit menacing at first, but I thought that was impressive. And a good thing. The girls thought the same. You even taught them a thing or two about Japanese culture.”

“Well,” she sighs. “None of my achievements back then would’ve been possible without you guys… And if I’m being honest—I always appreciate my parents’ job offers through our relatives or their associates. I'll always be touched whenever they worry about me. But I just don't wanna be their little otter anymore, you know? Not all the time.”

“Otter, huh?” Junghoon snorts, though he finds his hoobae’s sentiment to be overall heartwarming. “Mianhae. I understand what you mean. You want to find your own place in this ‘big river.’ It’s just, I can’t believe you still remember that nickname.”

“Of course,” she gloats without shame. “I embrace my spirit animal. Going through those booths at the festival were one of the first things that made my freshman year memorable, including our own. Made me realize it was worth staying here in Korea. Like another big river or sea worth setting my foot on.”

“You mean your paws?” he interposes.

“Yah!” She can’t help but laugh at his tease. “I thought we were being serious here.”

“I’m kidding!” he lets out a snicker. “Kudos to you, I suppose,” he respectfully raises his near-empty bottle with a smile. “You’re now an independent otter—I mean person. You were always one of the most capable members in the club—so now that I think about it, there is no doubt that you’re doing well now.”

She raises her bottle in response, giggling at his verbal slip up, yet hearing his honest compliments only made her smile. “You think that? How so?”

“You didn’t just prove you could do things on your own. You simply can,” he answers with a straight face, delivered with a modest tone. “You were a tough cookie, but you were also a compassionate person. You didn’t hesitate to help out others.”

Only gazing at him with a sense of comfort and perhaps adoration, Kaede doesn’t have a sarcastic remark to throw back at his statement. While some things have changed, some remain the same, even with him, she realizes. “Still got the dad energy, I see.”

“Dad ener—” he raises an eyebrow, making an embarrassed chortle leave his mouth. “Please don’t say it like that. I’m not that older than you.”

“I know, but I don’t know how else to describe it,” she shrugs. “I’ve forgotten how good you are at giving compliments… You’re that wise, perhaps a little too protective sunbae when we first met in the club.”

“I only say those things to someone if they’re true,” he retorts. “Besides, that’s all you. So at least everything we’ve done paid off, to say the least.”

“I guess so… How about you, sunbae?” Now it’s her turn to ask, resting her chin on her clasped hands. “How's our old ‘errand boy’ doing nowadays?”

“Not that different, to be honest,” he tells her. “This errand boy never really found the time to have fun at work. Kitchens tend to be busier on weekdays… So whenever we do find the time to relax, my buddies would invite me to places like this. I just happened to say ‘yes’ this time.”

“That’s exactly why I go here!” she exclaims with excitement in her voice. “Even when I’m not with my friends, blowing off some steam on my own often helps me forget the fact that having dreams isn't enough to make it from day to day.”

“I never thought of it that way,” he places his hand on his chin and rubs it for a moment. “But then again, I’ve always thought you were a great dancer since then, especially when you joined the Dragons. And even if things might not look the best right now, I'm happy that you're still doing something you’re passionate about, Kaede.”

She looks down slightly, trying to hide her reaction, as she can feel her lips forming a smile after hearing Junghoon’s compliment. “Thanks, sunbae… I’m sure you’re doing the best you can too. Not to mention, you have some thoughtful friends who still care about your social needs.”

“You don’t get those often?” he teases.

“I have too much of those from my colleagues!” she shoots back with a giggle. “That's another reason why I go here on my own. I love them, but I rarely get my ‘me times’ whenever they invite me for a get-together.”

“Well, it does feel nice to have some folks to have your back, but as someone who’s the complete opposite, I’m not judging you.” He turns to look around, scanning the areas where he last found his friends. He feels a buzzing in his pocket—receiving a message that only got sent just a minute ago. It’s official: they are nowhere to be seen, making him sigh in disappointment. He looks back to Kaede once again, who was also paying attention to where his eyes went. “Speaking of which… I wished they were still here so I could introduce you to them, but it looks like they got what they wanted, so here we are.”

“Hmm, that can be for another time… More time for ourselves to catch up. It would be disrespectful of me to just let go of a sunbae like you.”

He did not expect those words from her. “Didn’t strike you as the flirtatious type.”

“Yet you were intimidated by me,” she hums, darting her mischievous eyes at him. “Remember those times?”

“Nah, that was back then,” he defends himself as if her remark didn’t affect him. But in actuality, her words strike through him. Not because he was embarrassed by her factual teasing about him during their past, but about the way he’s starting to see her now. How she’s different from her past. How she’s no longer the soft-spoken and cutesy hoobae or an amusing force to be reckoned with that he knew. I mean, of course, she’s still cute, he corrects himself in his mind. And besides, he has long known that her reserved attitude, which others adore her for, was more of a facade or surface level impression whenever she meets new people she’s not hostile to. She can be bubbly, teasing, and energetic at times, just like she is now. But still, there is another shade of beauty from her that he never noticed, or at least appreciated before, considering his mind and heart were longing for someone else. That was a different time. This present matters more.

“I didn’t get why you weren’t popular with girls,” she brings up. “Outside Mad Money, of course. And they adored you very much! They had some of the most stunning visuals of any student on campus, and none of them were idols.”

“I can't believe you're describing yourselves like that.”

“But that's how a lot of folks saw us,” she defends her recollection.

“I know. I was kidding,” He chuckles, before letting out a nostalgic sigh. “Though, with my case, I’m pretty sure that everyone else wouldn’t be into someone like me. At least, not back then. Considering how I looked and how little of a social life I had—that was expected of me... But I didn’t mind. College for me wasn’t about dating or hook-ups.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t be all imposter syndrome on yourself.”

Such a term struck a chord in him, but he keeps himself reasonable, willing to hear the woman’s words out. “I’m not.”

“Look, sunbae. College wasn’t perfect. But I remember it not being as bad, either. Not every person was a bully, and it’s not like everyone doesn’t gain any weight during those times either! Even in our batch, I knew people who don't hold high standards anymore. I knew women who started looking for personality a lot more than looks, though it’s a plus. Some of them didn’t even want relationships ‘cause their hearts were broken by asshats—yet they ended up with folks who were keepers.”

“I understand your point,” he interjects, albeit with a polite tone.

She opens her palms. “And my point is, you had both of those. Personality and looks.”

He guffaws at her claim. “Again with your teases.”

“They're not!” she defends herself. “And if they wanted to hook-up with some stereotypical ulzzang douche, they would’ve gotten that from every fuckboy they see. You’re a keeper, Junghoon-sunbae… Any woman would’ve been lucky to be with you.”

“Well, thanks, I guess,” he takes a final swig of his drink, not reacting much to her point. “But, umm, listening to your point… I can say that I feel fine with the way I am now.”

“And so do I,” she backs him up. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, some things are better for me.”

“You didn’t enjoy your college dating life?” he asks back.

“It was fine,” she shrugs. “It was like yours, if I guess so myself. Had its ups and downs. Never lived it to the fullest, that’s for sure.”

“But you’re cute and charming. And you were kind of outgoing at times because of the Mad Money Club. That’s like a plus for you when you were meeting people back then.”

“That’s what they all said about me. Cute, adorable, soft-spoken. It’s like most of the people I dated just wanted a companion to hug or talk to, which is fine, if they would have just started making more moves than those two. And I can't even act angry when there's a reason for me to be one! I’m not some rent-a-girlfriend or a living teddy bear!”

“You’re an otter,” he interposes.

“Exactly,” she sarcastically affirms. “They couldn’t even get my spirit animal right.”

“But in all seriousness, you are beautiful, Kaede-ssi. That was their loss.”

“Now, where did those words come from?” she teases him, despite his words triggering a surge of electricity trickling throughout her body. Her mere gaze at Junghoon makes her heart start to skip its usual beat. The way she sees him feels different, at least compared to back then. Even though she knows well that the “beer goggles” effect is nothing but a bunch of baloney, perhaps the alcohol that makes her question things, now that they’ve met after college. “Was your fourth bottle making you tipsy all the sudden?”

“Not drunk, just being honest,” he shoots back. “Nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“Fair enough,” she snickers. “But no thanks to you, all I find out tonight are nothing but non-stop surprises.”

“So it’s my fault now?” he questions with a smile forming on his face, surprised at her sudden jab. “You’re blaming the newcomer?”

“In a way,” she taunts even more. “And I don’t wanna miss any more surprises by just letting you leave early.”

“I like the sound of that, actually. What do you have in mind?”

“Why not go for another round?” she suggests, piquing his interest about her more.

“The same bottle?” he wonders. “I feel like you’ve already had three, but okay then.”

“Not that, sunbae,” she stops him before he could raise his hand to the bartender. The woman motions her head behind her, keeping a smug smile at him. Junghoon notices the now-less yet still crowded dance floor, a bit taken aback by her suggestion. “I was thinking we’d head back. I’d rather have fun and be a little more sober.”

“Oh, I’m not the dancing type,” he shakes his head with a humble smile, lifting his hands like he got caught. “You saw me out there. I didn't know how to hit the floor like you did. You were practically an idol!”

“You weren’t that bad,” she reassures him. “I actually think you were better than most of them. You were on the beat.” She stands up from her stool and holds his hand, sending a tingling spark of electricity through his skin. A grin forms around her lips, as her actions fascinate him more. “But this time… You're following my lead.”

Kaede slowly walks Junghoon back to the crowded dance floor, where they would bust out their moves, syncing in their expressive spirits, now that they’re grooving next to each other. The longer he tries to imitate her every style and move, or at least give his own spin to it, Kaede's facial expressions allure Junghoon. Throughout their years in college, Junghoon never saw Kaede as anything more than a hoobae and a friend. Sure, he’s only a year older than her, and they weren’t that close, but they were on good terms. Their presence gave each other comfort and a space to confide in each other whenever they met.

Yet tonight—new feelings from him arise, thanks to their reunion. Unbeknownst to him, she’s not feeling too different. In fact, Kaede may be harboring stronger feelings. Not necessarily something that gives her butterflies on her stomach. Rather, more of a physical one. She never brought it up when they’re talking, but his physique has caught her attention, she wouldn’t have noticed it was him, if it wasn’t for his face. His breath just tempts her to get closer.

“Looking better, sunbae,” she shouts to him while her body sways. “Keep it up!”

As minutes go by, mixes and tunes of songs he’s familiar with play through the speakers.

Balkkeuchi ajjilhage Eodiro hyanghadeunji Sunsuhan sangsang geu kkeut neomeoe Deryeodajweo glassy~~

What you waiting for? ige tarakimyeon we fall fall fall What you looking for? weonhandamyeon now we fall we fall we fall

nasseon ikkeullimeul majuhan sungan mweonga dalla I won’t let you out of my sight jom deo ppajyeodeulge do me right

Mmmm I can melt an igloo Yeah cause I’m so dang hot~~

He has little to no clue how to dance any of the songs' choreo but he can only find them pleasant tunes to dance to. And now that he's with a familiar face, Junghoon feels more comfortable. The playlist has, more or less, a pattern as the DJ must’ve intended it—but the pair are too immersed to notice.

They keep dancing to the tune until there’s only a few inches of space between them, practically grinding on each other's bodies on the dance floor as their rhythm syncs in with the rhythm of the sensual and upbeat music. Her hands slowly direct him to wrap his hands around her petite and well-toned body, smoothly sliding down through her curves until they reach her hips. Junghoon’s slow and gentle touch electrifies the woman, sending sparks within, especially on her more sensitive regions that makes her let out a soft moan amidst of cacophony of thunderous speakers and passionate cheers in the club, making herself bite her lower lip in to muffle whatever else unforeseen and obscene noise that was about to leave her mouth in front of the everyone else.

Their eyes meet as everything around them slows down. They can feel each of their own heartbeats, getting louder as the roaring speakers that surround the place. Despite their five-centimeter difference, Kaede’s sudden jolts of pleasure urge her to rest her arms on his shoulders. Junghoon leans in closer, allowing her to entangle them around his neck.

Looking into each other’s eyes from a few inches, no words come out from either of their mouths, knowing how vain it would be to mutter a sound in a sea of dissonance. Unlike him, there’s virtually no sense of hesitation from Kaede—only curiosity and longing for what’s in front of her while she breathes heavily in his sight. She closes her eyes as her lips touch his for a moment, before parting to anticipate his reaction. For a few seconds, Junghoon becomes paralyzed by her sudden advances, yet feels his senses stimulated at the same moment. Her flavored lipstick oddly tastes like maple syrup. Even as their lips have already parted, her intoxicating breath still lingers. He feels a sense of hunger for her. His senses and his impulses can no longer lie to him. Through every reaction he feels, his mind and body screams at him. He wants her, here and now.

This time, he leans closer to Kaede, letting out a moan as they slowly have a taste of each other’s mouths, exploring a gustatory spectrum of bitter, sweet, sour, salty, and savory, which they both relish while embracing under the neon lights, not giving a single care about everyone and everything else around them, despite their ears catching cheerful whistles beside them, considering how they take pleasure in this irresistible excitement with their soft lips smacking each other in a tight embrace. Their heated moment on the dance floor would last for a minute until the DJ plays another mix, though for them, it is only the beginning.

The restroom was their next destination. Sloppily locking lips and battling each other’s tongues inside a stall. Despite the insatiable sensation they’ve been savoring in the past five minutes, they decide to catch their breaths—leaving a string of saliva—as their lips part. And yet, he’s not done. He leans down on the woman, playfully kissing her neck and holding her waist with his right hand, triggering a rousing stimulus that reaches down her crotch. Acting more on her ecstatic urges, she kisses him while holding his hand and guiding it down her crotch. Juices were leaking through her pants, but he got her memo. Tempted to explore her pants, he digs two fingers deeper, though the fabric is not thin enough for him to traverse into her regions.

“You can reach inside,” she murmurs under her breath, tingling at his alluring touches.

He nods, before cautiously pulling down her pants until his hand finally reaches her clit, which he begins to rub from side to side, before massaging it for a moment just to check her reaction. “Ugh… Fuck, that’s it.”

His index and middle fingers finally do their trick by making swirling motions inside her cunt, tickling and stimulating the woman at the same time while he places her neck once again. She tries to muffle her moans by biting her lower lip, but he adds another trick by finally inserting a finger inside her entrance—slipping into her opening with ease thanks to it being coated in her juices. Her continuous positive murmurs encourage him to keep on going as the middle finger follows inside, igniting a louder moan from her. Now, both fingers slowly make their way deep inside her cunt in search of more stimulating zones. Much to his surprise, he’s already stumbled on most of them. Hence, he goes through his techniques in the next few minutes, not wanting to rush and dissatisfy Kaede while he tries on different rubs and strokes inside her in the same rhythm.

“Oppa… Nghh… It feels so—” she whines with pleasure, feeling the build-up down inside her nether regions while his fingers continue their work. “I’m–uhh… I–aah…. I’m close!”

More and more fluid leaks out of her opening.

Kaede can only close her eyes and let out another much louder moan in response, before delicately holding on his left shoulder and slowly resting her head on the right where she takes a breather from her orgasm, mumbling “Th–thank… Y-you…” which he hears well.

As Junghoon understands her movement, he looks at her with some concern. “You okay? I hope I didn’t read your gestures wrong.”

“You did great,” she wheezes. As a wide smile forms on her face, she looks at him with eyes full of surprise, curiosity, and hunger. “And by the way, I thought you weren’t all that intimidated by me, sunbae,” she teases, putting her hand on his blushing face.

“I can say the same thing about you,” he snickers, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you paid a waiter so we can have the room all by ourselves.”

“And for that, you’re welcome, sunbae,” she retorts sarcastically.

“Please, you don’t have to keep calling me that, Kaede-ssi,” he proposes, stroking her scruffy and sweaty hair. “We are way past formalities at this point, don’t you think?”

“Then stop using honorifics with me,” she counters him. “At least for tonight.”

“Well…” He thinks for a second, not wanting to disappoint the muse.

“Does Kae-chan sound good to you?”

“Of course, oppa,” she answers with glee, with her heavy breathing slowly subsiding. “Now, why don’t we head somewhere else? Somewhere where no else can bother us.”

= = =

Junghoon expected they would take a taxi or a bus ride to their next destination, but much to his surprise, Kaede’s apartment was only a three minute walk from the club. Setting foot on her doorstep, he notices that her place is the perfect balance of messy and clean, oddly enough. Still, he didn’t have enough time to look into this whole abode, because at the moment he takes his shoes off—his lips are met by Kaede’s once again. He holds on to her waist, pulling her closer so he can deepen the kiss in a more comfortable position.

“You done checking out my place?” she murmurs in-between kisses, slipping under his shirt and feeling his sweating chest. “How about you check something else instead.”

“I wouldn't want anything more,” he hisses, before latching his lips onto hers once more, with his hands resuming their exploration of her physique from her breasts to her waist.

Carrying the woman with his toned arms, they reach her bed. Leaving each other kisses on each other’s lips and neck, they start undressing each other’s tops, allowing them to access more zones to explore and pleasure.

“It’s my turn now, oppa,” she pushes him on the edge of the bed, making him sit down. Seeing her seductive smile, Junghoon anticipates her move, allowing her to zip down his pants and revealing his erect cock. Her eyes can only widen at his girth and length, while her mouth slowly drools. But despite this intimidating sight, she is not gonna back off so easily. With her tongue, she starts to leave a few licks around his cock before proceeding to his balls, sending tingles across the man’s brain and even making him moan, like how he made her. After her ticklish teases, Kaede finally takes in his member inside her small mouth without any word, surprising him. In her determined mind and excited body, it is a dare she is willing to take—considering how she wants for both him and herself to have a good time tonight. Within a short moment, she’s able to take half of his thick shaft as it enters her mouth, pushing the limits of her jaw by opening it as wide as she can.

He keeps his hands gripped on her hair while he thrusts his own member in and out of her mouth. Yet, despite this position, he knows that she’s in control. Feeling her tongue slithering on his cock with every thrust only intensifies the pleasure he’s already feeling. For more than ten minutes, Kaede continues her routine before, eventually, Junghoon’s stimulation begins to overload his senses. She finally returns the favor to him with how he serviced her in the bathroom earlier. “Fuck, Kae—” he groans loudly. “I’m gonna…”

Although he tries to pull out as far as he can, Kaede keeps her mouth open in front of his tip with her hand gripping on his legs, anticipating what comes next. A stream of semen blasts out of his shaft, entering straight through her mouth. He looks at her swallowing her catch, which makes him scratch his head just as a chortle leaves his mouth.

“You just took it all in?” He asks the woman out of concern and disbelief, comforting her with a caress on her back while she coughs and catches her breath.

“Most of it,” she clarifies with a smile. She takes another look down his flaccid, yet still leaking cock. “I thought I could, but they just kept on dripping, oppa.”

He laughs at her honest remark before pecking her on the lips, not caring about the fact that his seed is on her mouth. “It’s fine. You didn’t have to… You did good, Kaede-chan. Thank you.”

As she couldn’t resist his bold gesture, and his mouth, Kaede leans in to extend and deepen their kiss once, resuming their heated makeout neither of their excited spirits want to end. This time, she assists him in helping take off her own remaining garments, unhooking her bra from the back while she takes off her panties and carelessly throws it into the floor, revealing her perky breasts. But as he lays her down on the bed, a serious thought pops up in his mind, making him ignore his now enlarged cock and follow his sense of reasoning before they can proceed with their next exercise.

“Do you have a condom?” He finally speaks about his concern.

“I–umm…” Her face starts to redden, alerting himself to take more initiative.

“If you don’t, I can just buy outside. I’m sure—”

“No, no!” she exclaims, much to his surprise, before lowering down her tone into a shyer one. “You can find a box inside the nightstand.”

Complying with her direction, Junghoon walks to the nightstand and opens it, finding a box of premium condoms, all of which are still unopened, something he finds odd due to how many it is. At the same moment, his eyes also spot some rather interesting toys next to the box, and a lube. Kaede notices him taking a little longer, though she doesn’t panic.

“I've been doing things by myself,” she tells him with the same soft-spoken intonation. “Things can get lonely here sometimes, you know.”

But truth be told, making assumptions about his old friend and partner for the night is the last thing he wants to do. He’s here because he wants to make her feel good. Both of them want to. Slowly and steadily, he opens a sachet and wraps the condom around his still erect member while she watches on from the bed surrounded by her two pillows.

“It's okay,” he smiles, giving off a comforting look to Kaede. “I don't judge. I get it.”

Kneeling on the bed, he pounces on her on the bed as she latches her lips onto his, resuming the flames of their passion. Slowly but surely, he positions her on the bed while she nudges a pillow on her rear end, their naked bodies now facing each other.

“Take it easy,” she coos as her blush remains, making Junghoon slow down from his more aroused state. He’s starting to notice her facial expression. She’s a bit nervous.

“Oh… It is your first time?” he tries to make sure.

She slowly nods, before adding, “I mean, it’s my first with someone I’m not dating... It’s been a while since I’ve done… This…” She lets out a sigh. “Is that, um, okay you, oppa?”

“Of course, Kae-chan,” he reassures her with a kiss. He doesn’t know why, but hearing such a revelation makes him feel a teeny-tiny bit of weight on his shoulders. Based on her words just now, he knows she’s done it before. “I’ll do it slowly, okay?”

She nods again, forming a dampened smile, as he positions his shaft into her entrance. With his head reaching the opening, he slides in his shaft ‘till the first half of his length reaches her vagina. Kaede cannot help herself but purr, slowly welcoming his member, though the fact that’s only halfway inside also makes her hold on to both his shoulders. He gives a few more thrusts as the rest of his cock reaches deeper inside her. Junghoon’s groans mirror the woman’s muffled moans, yet they sound music to her ears—eventually letting go as she opens her mouth and lets out rising pitched cries. Their noises compose a cacophony that echoes through the walls of the room. Their composition can reach the heavens and intensify the flames of hell. Such sounds feel like music to both their ears, similar to the mixes they were dancing to a while ago. Minutes appear like hours, but neither of their brains are in the state to count or process anything but their ongoing stimulating movement.

“Oppa!” she whines with overwhelming pleasure, already squirting from her cunt, while he can feel his cock reaching its second limit despite continuing his pumps on top of her. “Nggnhhh… Imma… Ugh… I’m close.”

Junghoon continues kissing her neck, appearing as if he’s devouring her like a vampire in order to speed up his climax, catching up to Kaede’s within seconds while they moan in each other’s mouths until the inevitable happens. She comes first; he busts his semen inside the condom milliseconds later, yet for all intents and purposes, they came at the same time. He lies down next to her, hearing each other panting amidst the silence.

They take a breather for a few minutes, lying still on the bed. He looks at Kaede, curious about whatever he just witnessed inside her nightstand earlier. That being said, he’s not being judgmental, though curiosity has already gotten to him. “Now that we’re done…”

She slowly gets up; a suggestive smile forms on her lips. “Who says we're done, oppa?”

Her daring look only encourages him with a realization. He didn’t fail to satisfy Kaede. And another, being intimidated by her isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, he’s into this side of her. “Only you can, that’s for sure.”

Turned on by Kaede’s nerves, the man leaves more kisses on her neck, before reaching down to her ears, armpits, and thighs. “Fuck, this feels so good,” she murmurs. Despite being stimulated by the slow and gentle marks he’s making, Kaede stops him and stares at Junghoon for a moment, as an idea has been brought to her mind.

“One thing, before we keep going,” she appeals with her recognizable reserved voice.

He halts his actions, attentive to her next words. “Yes, Kae-chan?”

Aside from blushing cheeks, a sheepish smile forms on her face. “Can I call you daddy?”

“Huh?” His eyes widen at her question, yet he immediately feels a jolt down on his shaft, slowly erecting once more at the woman’s words. “Well, I guess I'm not against it. Sure.”

He takes a second packet from the box, opening it while he sees Kaede touching herself in anticipation for their second round. Once he puts on the condom, the woman lunges at Junghoon, softly pushing him into the wall nearest to the bed. “Where are we goi—”

She shushes him with a finger to his lips, before turning around and facing the wall. “Let’s do it here.”

Getting her suggestion, Junghoon lets out a weak laugh, before leaving loving pecks on her neck. Tickled by his gestures, Kaede giggles and rests her arms on the wall with her rear end bending for him, taking a deep breath. Compared to last time, his cock enters her entrance with a little more ease, though he can still feel its tightness. He begins his thrusts deeper inside her chambers at a steady pace, hitting the same stimulating spots from this position. Despite his cock still only halfway like last time, she can already feel him stretching her walls all over again, and she cannot get enough of it the second time.

“Hngghh… Daddy,” she gasps, tightening her grip around him. “You’re so fucking big!”

“You’re still…” he groans, finally entering the rest of his length deeper inside her, with his hand holding on to her hip. “So… Fuck…ing… Tight… Kae-chan!”

“Hayaku,” she murmurs on the top of her breath. Though he has some clue of what she means, she adds “Faster!” for him to understand her on-the-spot request.

He quickens his pace. She stiffens her arms, tightening her fingers on the wall.

“Would you like it… If I…do this…baby?” he murmurs. His hands climb their all the way up to her breasts, Feeling them bounce, he uses his fingers around both her nipples.

“Fuck!” she gasps at his sudden maneuver. “Yes, daddy…just keep…doing it! Ngghhh…”

Enveloping each with both his palms, he kneads her knockers in a circular and an up and down motion. Surges of pleasure run through her mind, making her tilt her head backwards as her tongue sticks out while she keeps moaning during his robust thrusts. With his hands at work, Junghoon licks her nape, tasting her dripping sweat like nectar.

While she wails in gratification, he slows down his pumps so he can lean into her ear. “Imagine if we’re doing this eye to eye, Kaede-chan.”

“Hnggghhh… Fuck!” His words strike a nerve. “You–ugh–would like that wouldn’t you?”

“You have no idea,” he chuckles. In her mind, she wants it too.

“I’m close!” she wails after a few minutes.

Junghoon doesn’t say anything, but her confession makes him smile. “Let it out, baby.”

And with a few more thrusts, Kaede finally reaches her second orgasm.

Taking their time to breathe, he holds her arms, keeping her from falling straight down to the floor.

“You didn’t come, did you?” she mumbles.

“I was… Close. But it’s fine.”

“Mianhae, I didn’t wait.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“Damn right. You were the one whispering all those stuff to me.”

“Those worked for you?” he scratches his head.

“Shut up,” she chuckles before pulling him closer to her. She trails her fingers up to his toned abs and chest. “How about we go for another one, hmm? Now, you lead the way.”

In their third round, Junghoon and Kaede face each other once again and in a burst of strength from his arms, he lifts the woman off the floor—triggering a squeal of surprise and excitement from her. With his hands holding onto her hips and her arms wrapping around his neck, their lips hungrily touch once more, still addicted to each other’s taste and scent. This time, her tongue invades his mouth, which he welcomes, allowing his to be dominated. Junghoon breaks their session after a minute to tell her he’ll be putting it in once more. With her back now comfortably reclined on the wall and him steadying his arms, she wraps her leg around his back. Their eyes lock, filled with thirst for each other.

“Hopefully, the third time’s a charm,” he quips. She bites her lower lip, suppressing her excitement with him now in control.

Junghoon begins motioning his cock inside her cunt, thrusting it in and out, triggering another of her erogenous zones. He alternates in kissing each of her plump and sweaty breasts, adding to the layers of pleasure that she’s feeling now while he rams her with a slightly faster pace and more robust pumps—inevitably flexing the muscles of his arms for Kaede to witness, despite her field of vision shaking and her whole body trembling.

“More, daddy,” she begs him with a peck to his cheek. “I want more…of your… Tricks.”

He cannot help but grin as he nods before sucking one of her tits in his mouth, licking every ounce of sweat that drips like maple syrup, amplifying the volume of her moans and cries while riding his member in carnal bliss. “Nngghh… Yabai… More, ugh!”

Another idea spirals into his lustful brain, making his hands squeeze both her soft butt cheeks, triggering another spot that makes her gasp and squeal next to his ear. “Such a good girl,” he whispers right back to her ear, continuing his teases. “Taking it so well.”

“Daddy! I’m–I’m…” she screams, with her eyes rolling on the back of her head while her tongue sticks out. Witnessing such a reaction only allows his cock to remain erect, if not grow a little longer than it already is, while he continues to plow the woman to his limit. While her ahegao still persists, Junghoon latches his lips on her tongue, surprising her in a satisfying manner. They kiss more sloppily, with their tongues dancing in rhythm, complementing the sound of their skins slapping together amidst their primal noises.

Kaede parts her lips to catch her breath, tightening her grip around his back. As if that's not enough, her fingernails dig through his skin just to snap herself out of her own state of overstimulation and tell him, “I’m close!”

“Me… Too!” he groans loudly in response, maintaining his rhythm despite feeling his muscles tire out and the slow aching yet stimulating sensation he’s feeling on his back. “Toge…ther, let’s…”

With a few more powered thrusts, the man finally explodes his load inside the condom. With the last ounce of his strength, he walks back to the bed and places down his worn out partner in the middle. They both lie once again, and much longer this time for five minutes of huffing and puffing, laughing, and exchanging more quips to one another.

“Fuck…” she pants, lightly tapping his upper abs beside her. “That was intense, daddy.”

“Language, dear,” he shoots back, making his voice even deeper and commanding.

“Oppa!” She lets out a burst of laughter, playfully smacking his shoulder. “You don’t have to take it that far.”

“I’m kidding, but it was really wild,” he chuckles, breathing a little heavier than her. He fixes her disheveled hair, moving them to the side to see her face. “You did well, baby.”

His words made her giggle, still enchanted by his charm of going along with her request. She leans closer to give him a simple yet comforting kiss then lies on his shoulder to rest next to him, which he welcomes–even helping her lie more comfortably by adjusting his posture. Her hand slowly slides down to his crotch in hopes of teasing him, but her eyes and smile can only widen in surprise when she feels his shaft up and running again.

“How is that even possible?” she exclaims.

He laughs in disbelief. “Well, you made it happen, I guess.”

Temptation drives her into wrapping her hand around his cock and slowly making an up and down motion, reinvigorating his lust and drive within seconds. His moan says it all.

“You up for an encore, oppa?” she winks at him.

“Lead the way, baby,” he reciprocates her enticement.

Despite both parties initially hoping for a warm and comforting spooning session due to their recovering bodies, it turns out they still have more than enough drive and vigor to get back up. Kaede straddles Junghoon's hips and just like that, their lustful passion is reignited the second their lips touch for the nth time. In fact, they’re still only halfway through the night, one that's about to be filled with more noises of pleasure. One that will involve more than several used condoms being tossed in the trash bin every few minutes. While this night may not have been one of Junghoon's ideas of relaxation, there's no doubt in his mind that this refreshing experience is a worthy addition.

= = =

9:50 AM. No alarm wakes her up, just her circadian rhythm. Thank God it’s Saturday.

Kaede opens her eyes, wrapped up in her blanket. It’s a miracle that she’s not feeling any headache from her hangover, although her body is screaming at her in the form of a few visible hickeys and sores felt from her neck to toe. Junghoon is nowhere to be found—at least not in the same room. She finds some of her toys, a vibrator, a butt plug, and a pair of nipple suckers, on top of the nightstand, letting out a chortle as they’re well organized compared to the last time they’ve used them. He’s a quick learner, she contemplates.

After dressing up in a new set of casual clothes, the woman opens the door, immediately catching the scent of something boiled, familiar, and delectable. She finds Junghoon in his attire last night, yet he looks clean and tidy, having used the bathroom about an hour earlier. He’s at the kitchen counter, putting the finishing touches of garnish on two large steaming bowls of ramen, whose black soup and ingredients remind the woman of her native dish back home. Near the sink, she sees her cooking pan and pot, alongside a few plates and utensils, have just been washed, including the cutting board that she hasn’t used in two weeks. As he places the bowls on the dining table, her eyes notice a large platter of assorted Japanese appetizers—which includes agedashi tofu, miso eggplant, shumai, and pork gyoza—along with a bowl of fresh, well cut fruits on a smaller platter. Although she knows what her sunbae does for a living, she's still amazed by his decorum, even daydreaming as if they’re now staying at a bed and breakfast, and she just happened to spend the whole night with the hunk, tall chef, who is now preparing breakfast.

“You’re up!” Junghoon greets her with a wave. “I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen. And just so you know, I didn't steal anything. Just borrowed your utensils.”

She walks to him, still looking at the cuisine in wonder. “No it's just—this is too much. But how did you get these ingredients? I haven’t bought groceries in a week.”

“Oh, I had them delivered from a nearby grocery, since I kinda did not wanna get locked in,” he snickers. “Or got the chance to ask you what your door pin is, though that’s fine.”

Her gaze at the table remains in spectacle, though Junghoon reads it as consternation.

“Did I cook too much?” he tries to clarify. “Or do you prefer takeout, ‘cause I can also—”

“No, no!” she panics, although she calms herself down to avoid any misunderstandings. “Don't. I didn’t say it's a bad thing. I've never cooked for myself in a long time, so seeing these on the table is just so—Wow… Thank you, sunbae. I can pay you the ingredients—”

“Please. No need for that,” he interrupts her politely. “It’s the least I can do, Kaede-ssi.”

They eat breakfast over the table. Minutes past, Junghoon can only hear the humming and cheerful chewings of the woman. “Mmm! This is something else, oppa. It’s hard to believe any of these ingredients are store-bought.”

“Thanks,” he answers, but something else is on his mind. And his silence alerts her.

“Come on now, oppa,” she initiates. “Your face is already obvious. Spit it out.”

“I don't mean to ask anything about earlier… but about those toys,” he still stops, hoping that she won’t be offended.

“You're still curious about my sex life?” She places down her renge spoon and puts her elbow on the table, raising an eyebrow at him with a half-suppressed smile. “Isn’t last night enough for you? Wait, did you not enjoy using them?”

“No, no, it’s not that! Of course, I enjoyed them.” he retorts. “That’s not what I want to ask. I’m just wondering how your friends see your dating life, considering how you said you started going to the nightclub without them at times. If that's okay with you, at least. You don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable for you.”

Kaede sighs. She’s given much thought to it herself as well, considering her hesitations from the other night. Silence ensues in the room, though she breaks it once she finally makes up her mind. “Maybe, it has stuck with me since college, but umm, you know I was roommates with Yubin-ah. You remember her, right?”

“Yeah,” he nods, trying to process where her point is heading. “Of course.”

“She’s done a lot of wild stuff with your friend back then, Yeonghwan. When they were dating and all that… I know that bringing them up may be sudden, that was maybe the first time I felt that I was envious and insecure.”

Concern arises in his eyes, yet her words somewhat resonate with him. “Of what?”

She stares into the distance, reminiscing her regrets. “Of not having that kind of experience… That feeling. Yet I didn’t get the chance until I was in my later years.”

He remembers her words from last night. Her desire to be touched, like most women, hindered by a lot of people’s surface-level perceptions and shallow expectations of her. To some degree, Junghoon himself understands how she feels, based on how others had viewed both of them in the past. Despite those things happening a long time ago, certain unpleasant memories and some hesitations still lingered within them from time to time.

“And of course, my, umm, first time with my own ex wasn't the best,” she turns to him. “But last night, you kinda made me forget that… It's like that never even happened.”

He didn’t expect those words from her. “Really now? I honestly don’t know what to say… I'm glad. But–uhh, whoever you meet next, I hope they’ll treat you the same.”

She giggles at his remark. “I don't think that's even possible, oppa.”

“This must be a new thing for you, then…” he surmises. “Though from someone who’s new, you still did well. Actually, I think well’s an understatement.”

“Thanks,” she looks down with a smile, though another realization shifts her face into a sullen expression when she looks up to him. “Though I don’t know if I want to keep up this kind of routine with my colleagues. Not everyone’s like you, sunbae.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he counters. “You get to meet someone better. And why would it matter to others if you keep going on one-night stands? That’s your choice.”

“Well, I got myself into this when I showed off to my friends at work. They would brag about their flings and wild relationships, so I make them think I get laid a lot of times. Whenever they stop by to hang out, I try to make things more... convincing. Maybe it’s just my insecurity getting the best of me, but I've also gotten used to it. I lied because I thought that my own life wasn’t good enough to be shared.”

“I…” He's at loss for words, simply astonished at the woman's tale. “Didn’t expect that. But it must be tough, pretending to be someone you’re not to your friends.”

She raises an eyebrow again, her lips forming a pout. “You're judging me, aren't you?”

“I'm not judging you!” he waves his hands. “It's just, I didn't expect you to open up.”

“But your face makes it look like you have something to say about my life choices.”

“Not much… I just think that it doesn't matter how often you sleep around with anyone. And who cares if you have a lot of toys? If they really are your friends, then they would respect, forgive, and understand that you’re actually not that kind of a person. If not… Then they’re not worthy of being your friends to begin with. Just my two cents.”

“Doesn't sound like just two cents. Don’t undersell yourself,” she quips.

He lets out a sardonic laugh. “I’m just saying… Live your life however you want, as long as you’re happy, Kaede. Besides, going to a nightclub does not have to mean you got to hook up with someone... You're just having fun on your own or with your friends, and there's nothing wrong about that.”

She tilts her head as a somber smile gleams on her face. His words somehow put her at ease. “You know, with words like that, how come you still don't have a girlfriend now?”

“Because saying things like that will bore the heck out of them,” he admits. “I didn't say those things to flirt with you. I’m just saying my piece to you as a friend.”

“I know, but some gals dig that type, you know? It's like when someone's disciplining them when they're being a bad—”

"Again with the dad kink thing," he whines, yet can’t help but laugh at her frankness.

“I'm kidding!” she insists. “Well, half-kidding. And you still didn't answer my question.”

He scoffs at her attempt to change the subject back. “Again, I don't have the time—”

“That’s bullshit,” she goads. “Didn't you remember what I said about you?”

“Well, it's true though,” he simply tells her, his energized tone slightly dropping.

She senses something else. He looks discouraged. “Did someone hurt you..? You don’t have to tell me… But it seems like you have something you want to get off your chest.” She stops for a second, considering that she has gotten ahead of herself. “Unless, I’m misreading the situation.”

“You’re not, Kaede-yah…” he lightens her up. “And besides, since I asked you a personal question first, the least I can do is answer yours.” Even with his deep voice, he begins to crack as he continues to speak. “But... I–uh, I guess, I wasn't honest enough with my ex. In a way, you can say that I hurt her instead. Instead of appreciating whatever we had, I messed it up. I thought I wasn’t good enough… So I guess you're not the only one who fell into their own insecurity. Mine ruined a relationship.” He sighs, doing his best to hide his more vulnerable side from his hoobae, but she’s already seen it through his clenched fists and heard the slight quivers in his voice.

Standing up from her seat, Kaede walks to him with her arms opened, enveloping him in a warm embrace. Such an action raises his heartbeat, reciprocating her heartfelt gesture, yet he feels more than comforted.

“I hope you find someone you will love," she murmurs next to his ear. “Once you sort out whatever has been keeping you from doing so, that is. You deserve to love and be loved like anyone else, oppa.”

“And I hope you find someone who’s willing to open their door to you, and love you in all your cute, wild, sexy, and funny sides. Someone who loves you for who you are," he requites. “I'm sure someone will, Kaede.”

Their passionate night wasn’t a romantic one, but they know and feel that it doesn’t have to be meaningless either. They’re friends who reunited after a few years, and that’s more than enough for them to reconnect again. Not the closest, but good friends nevertheless.

She chuckles, before letting out a sigh of relief. No tears came out from either of them, but their hearts felt at ease from each other’s embrace. Their bodies finally part after a few seconds. Kaede looks at him with a hopeful smile. “I didn’t know one-night stands can be emotional afterwards.”

She heads back to her seat. “Me too,” Junghoon concurs. “And it’s my first time too…”

“Geojitmal,” she scoffs with a teasing smile. “Last night was, no, were your first times?”

“I wasn’t finished,” he frowns for a moment. Kaede smirks in return. “I mean this was also my first time having an emotional one-night stand. At least in the morning after.”

“Whatever,” she chortles. “Come on now, we better finish up all this food you’ve cooked. And it sucks because this will be the only time I have anything better on my table that is not delivered outside.”

“You better start cooking on your own then,” he teases. “Unless you want to come visit our restaurant some other time, you’ll get the same, if not better, quality of food for a decent price.”

“Way to go promoting your workplace,” she teases, jabbing him lightly on the shoulder. “But of course, sunbae! Just tell me the name and address. I may even bring my friends there for lunch or dinner.”

After a moment of laughter and him sharing with Kaede the name of the restaurant he’s working at, Junghoon feels a buzzing from his phone on the table before he can pick up his spoon and chopsticks. The latest messages on his buddies’ group chat arise. While Kaede takes another healthy slurp of her ramen, he reads their ongoing exchanges.

[Kangmin]: What happened to your date? Yel, was it?

[Insoo]: The busty blonde? She and her friends just ditched us right as we outside.

[Honggi]: Or maybe she already lost interest in you because she heard you call her that.

[Insoo]: Whatever. That was her loss! I bet that's not even her real name.

[Honggi]: I told you we should've gone after someone else Like that short-haired one!

[Insoo]: As if any of us had the chance! That woman was insane and untouchable on the dance floor! She definitely has high standards.

[Kangmin]: Come on, guys. Don’t beat yourselves up.

[Honggi]: Coming from the one who got someone's number.

{I’m sure there’s always gonna be another night for y’all.}

[Honggi]: Junghoon-ah!We’re so sorry for leaving early, man. Insoo got us leaving ‘cause he thought he rizzed someone up.

[Insoo]: Don’t listen to him, man. It was Honggi’s idea. I actually thought of you before he went all down bad on some redhead. [Honggi]: Yah! I only went along with you 'cause she was friends with Yel. You're the one who's down bad.

{Gwenchana, guys ㅎㅎㅎ I’m just glad you guys got home safely.}

[Kangmin]: How ‘bout you, Jung-ah? Were you still in the club when we left?

{I did! I stayed there for a little while.} {I actually had a good time.} {I owe you guys one.}

Junghoon takes a glance at Kaede. She's also on her phone, scrolling through her social reels with a wide grin.

[Insoo]: See? Now, what did we tell you?

[Kangmin]: That’s great to hear, man! Anything interesting happened?

{Oh, nothing much.} {Well, actually, it was interesting.}

She looks at his face with curiosity, after seeing him chuckle while texting his friends. “Are those your friends right now?”

[Insoo]: Really? Come on, dude, spill those beans. [Honggi]: You’re killing us with this wait! [Insoo]: What happened to you?!

“They are,” he nods, unable to hide his smile. “And I gotta say, I guess I was kind of the 'lucky one' among us last night.”

[Kangmin]: Looks like we have a true winner after all! 🤝

[Honggi]: Don’t leave us hanging, man! ㅠㅠㅠ

“Oh yeah?” she giggles, before taking a piece of pork gyoza into her mouth with a look of curiosity at his remark. “How so?”

{Guys, just chill out! ㅋㅋㅋ} {I met up with an old friend.}

= = =

a/n: so, you finally made it through the end lol. you've either read the whole thing or skipped here. either way, thank you for reading my first fic. this definitely ended up a lot longer than I intended it to be, but it's here. I'll definitely do my best to improve my writing. have a nice day!

[footbrat]

👣 About Inky 👣

Hey Puppies, im Inky 💁‍♀️

I'm an 18 year old gamer girl from the UK who loves Roblox, Minecraft and Pokemon (the older ones)

Rn i'm saving up to buy all the old pokemon games and consoles for my collection and also for equipment to do twitch streaming, hypno & ASMR.

I'm here because all my online guy friends go crazy for my feet and have offered to buy me things in exchange for my feet pics, socks and other stuff.

👣 My Services 👣

Unlike a lot of the girls I see on Tumblr im not a findom who wants to take all of your money.

I'm just a Nerdy Bratty Princess who loves being besties with footboys!!

I keep my prices low so you can buy my stuffs without going broke 🥰

👣 Prices 👣

- Domination & Sexting: $35

- 3x Pre-Made Feet Pics: $10

- 3x Pre-made Feet vids: $30

- Used Socks / Shoes: (negotiable)

- Custom Requests: negotiable

**Although I'm based in the UK, I accept payments in USD to make it easier for you beautiful people to enjoy my services xxx**

👣 Kinks I Will Cater For 👣

- Girlfriend Experience

- Foot Fetish

- Foot Addiction Hypno

- Pussyfree Encouragement

- Pixels / Censors for Beta's

- Chastity

- Small Penis Humiliation

- Cuckolding

- Goon Encouragement

- BNWO

- Humilation (gentle to severe)

- Findom (if you want it)

- Sissification

- Forced Bi

- Chronic Masturbation

- Friendzone Fantasy

- Blackmail & Homewrecking

- Family Fantasy (1nc3st)

- CEI & JOI

- Age Play

**these are all the kinks I can think of so feel free to suggest some things**

👣 Rule of Engagement 👣

My DM's are open to anyone who is respectful, sweet and uses the phrase: "Inky's Stinky Soles" in their first DM

I'm happy to chat with anyone in a non-sexual way if they're nice to me.

But if you reach out with no intention of paying and act overly sexual to me, or send me pics of yourself I did not ask you for...

You're getting blocked!!