#just some encouragement to anyone thinking about it

[grimmsbride]

▒ ❀ ̭͡⠀ ❛ SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. NAM-GYU / PLAYER 124

nam-gyu attempts to recruit beloved, timid reader into thanos’s world. all it takes is a little encouragement.

𖥔 ࣪˖ TAGS, nam-gyu is a little pushy (but everything is consensual between him and reader) | unconsensual voyuerism (again everyone is asleep but i don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable) | ooc characters (first time writing for nam-gyu) | minor degradation & praise (+humiliation(?)) | use of the words slut, good girl, etc. | fingering | minor dacryphilia | just a silly little imagine | nam-gyu is lowkey manipulative | reader is a freak with a thing for fingers/hands | etc.

𖥔 ࣪˖ NOTES, writing smut on company time is actually hilarious, idk why i got this idea during work. but anywho — i hope you enjoy, i tried my hand at his character. as always please ignore any grammar mistakes or typos.

Imagine Nam-Gyu attempting to recruit someone without the advice of his beloved purple-haired leader. Surprising, right? Despite his own issues with inferiority; the ex-club worker just seems to follow behind Thanos like a hungry puppy desperate for a bone— or drugs, for that matter. But no, just this once, Nam-Gyu takes the lead. The numbers are growing closer and even more scarce, fear lacing people’s minds and causing them to hit that dreaded X button. Thanos’s World’s dream is to continue the games to pay off their debts, right?— so it only made sense for Nam-Gyu to turn an X over to the O side.

He couldn’t just pick anyone. Someone far too strong-willed would definitely tell him no, and someone far too weak would just be a curse rather than a blessing.

Who to choose.. Who to choose..

Soon enough the man’s eyes are locking on to you— a contestant he has seen around, yet hasn’t heard much from. Not only were you easy on the eyes but you just seemed like the perfect person to shape into a worthy teammate.

Within minutes he’s approaching you, an easy-going smile in place as your name falls from his lips. Nam-Gyu had heard it said before by someone close to you, another random that he hadn’t bother to think about.

“Yes..?” Your words are slow, lips pursing as you take in the man before you. You were beyond nervous; this was the lackey of that purple-haired lunatic after all. Watching the two fight on the very first day was enough to tell you to avoid them at all costs. Yet here you were, a few feet away from one of them, under his gaze that trailed over you like a pretty piece of jewelry behind a display case.

You couldn’t help but bring your hands closer to yourself, teeth dragging across your cheek nervously.

From your head to your toes, Nam-Gyu’s eyes soon landed on that big red patch residing just under your bosom. With a breathy chuckle he reached over, allowing a single finger to press and trace the X.

“You wanna get out of the games that bad, huh? You voted X twice already.”

Your eyes flicked down to his hand, before traveling back to his face. “Yeah well..” You dragged slowly, watching that harsh gaze return to your features.

“I—I want to get rid of my debts.. but putting my life on the line for it just seems..” You hoped you got your words across perfectly, even without continuing your sentence. Sure, it was hard being hounded for your debts, but death looming over your head just didn’t seem worth it.

Still, Nam-Gyu only shook his head at you, a sigh full of pity escaping his lips.

“Well, that’s where you’re messing up.” Nam-Gyu hummed, stepping just a bit closer, finger still tracing that damned patch. Your attention kept flicking between his face and finger, wondering why exactly warmth was pooling throughout your entire body.

“Worrying too much about dying is what’s gonna get you killed, not anything else.”

Your eyebrows knitted close, a look of confusion plastered across your face. Worrying seemed like the right way to keep yourself alive.. right? Not worrying just seemed, well— stupid. Not that you would say that to his face, obviously.

“I have to disagree..”

Just barely did you hear the sound of the man sucking his teeth, watching the way his face turned to the side, clearly searching for his next few words. You debated on walking away from this conversation, it was clear what his objective was. And whether ordered by Thanos or not, you didn’t really want to know— nor figure out.

Yet for some reason you were practically glued to the spot, blinking up at him and waiting oh, so patiently for his next spiel. And as you watched his face turn back to you, your breath got caught in your throat.

“Okay then.. worry all you want, but you wouldn’t you want someone to look out for you?” Nam-Gyu’s other hand was reaching to your patch at this point, using both thumbs to trace it. “Being on this side, there’s no unity.. it’s every person for themself.”

The two of you locked eyes, a sickeningly sweet smile crossing his face.

“Come with us, and we’ll look after you. I’ll personally see to it too.”

Slowly did your teeth sink into your bottom lip, struggling to maintain the eye contact that he seemed so keen on keeping. The only thing you could hear was your racing heart and the gentle sounds of his thumbs sliding across that red patch. His words were.. tempting. You wondered if he rehearsed what to say, like a video game with multiple endings; did he have it all figured out before he even walked over? Was he so prepared to convert you, using every rejection you had as some silly obstacles the man easily hobbled over?

So caught up in your thoughts, you hardly realized Nam-Gyu had gotten even closer until his breath fanned across your ear in a simple;

I’ll let you think it over, let’s talk again later..

When you thought of later, you initially believed in thirty mins or so. Maybe this time he would bring over his beloved leader to really get the point across. But no, later seemed to be during lights out; when you all should be sleeping, tucked away in the rare bliss these murderous games brought.

And the only talking that was happening was the soft words Nam-Gyu continued to whisper into your ear and the even softer moans of passion that slipped from your swollen lips.

See, Nam-Gyu wasn’t an idiot despite what Thanos seems to think. Quickly he caught on to two things whilst speaking to you.

The first being, you were quite cute when nervous. And two, you just loved looking at his hands.

So what better way to really stretch his point across but using his beloved fingers to stretch you open just how he liked?

“Should have done this from the start, look how cooperative you’re being..” The smile on Nam-Gyu’s face was permanent at this point, the corner of his mouth twitching with each pitiful moan you released. His rings were tossed lazily to the side, his bare fingers now pushing into your sloppy cunt so perfectly. Longer then your own, they pushed and prodded; opening you up and rubbing against your soaked walls. With each breath you were clenching, causing the smile on his face to only grow deeper.

“Scared of dying but not of some stranger finger-fucking you, huh? What a joke.”

You wanted to tell him off, how he was so mean and so wrong. But you couldn’t, not with how your mind was getting complete lost from his movements. Your teeth were grinding into your bottom lip, a metallic taste filling your mouth as time progressed. Deep moans thundered from your throat, muffled by your harsh biting. You couldn’t imagine having your little recruitment interrupted by some poor contestant just trying to get some rest.

But with the way Nam-Gyu was practically ruining you, it didn’t seem he cared much either way. He was so hellbent on coaxing you, his lips right against your ear as that damned thumb came and circled your swollen bud.

“I told you I’d look after you right, where’s my thank you?”

Your eyes widened the moment his free hand rose, pushing at your cheeks and basically forcing your lips to part. The sound you let out was a strangled mix of a moan and gasp, quickly clasping your own hand against your mouth.

Nam-Gyu chuckled on his breath, thrusting a third finger into your wet cunt as he spoke; “What? You scared of the other contestants realizing how much of a slut you are? Shouldn’t worry too much; this messy cunt is making enough noise for you.”

Your eyes were meeting the back of your skull, so fucking mean he was— yet you couldn’t help but enjoy the attention. His digits were curling inside, brushing across that special spot that caused you to shake. Your thighs were clenching harshly around his arm, rushed breaths escaping as your chest rose and fell.

“Th—thank you.. fuck— please…!” You whimpered as softly as you possibly could, glossy eyes staring up at the man. You felt accomplished the moment he drew closer, feeling the cold metal of his chain brush against your heated skin before a gentle kiss was pressed right against your cheek.

“What a good girl.. You wanna come, hm?” The hand was lowering to your throat, fingers simply wrapping around it yet not squeezing. Nam-Gyu watched in pure enjoyment at the way your head tossed back and forth in a rushed nod; how needy you were for him. What a palpable little thing, is what he thought.

“I can make that happen, you just gotta do something for me.”

More words, whispered, tempting; drifting right into your ear and hitting the same pleasurable spots right between your legs. Speaking of, you felt your peak drawing closer; a tight band resting deep in your tummy— ready to burst.

You knew what he wanted, you weren’t an idiot nor were you too fucked out to forget. Your mind was screaming at you, telling you an orgasm wasn’t worth pressing that cursed button.

Yet, for now, you weren’t thinking with your brain, but with your pussy instead.

“P—please let me join! I’ll press the button— I promise!” Another whisper-yell escaped you, desperation clinging to every word as they fled those pretty lips.

With that final confirmation Nam-Gyu was quickening the pace of his fingers, eating up the way your body convulsed, a lost look invading your eyes as you came undone. Your essence trickled down his fingers all the way to his wrist, a sticky residue that he would make sure you clean up later.

For now.. his hand rose from your throat to instead cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb right under your eye so tenderly— so sweetly.

“I knew you could do it.. just needed some encouragement, right?”

[fandoms-x-reader]

Eldest Sibling! MC

Headcannons

Requested By: @ainmunaqadh

Summary: The brothers' reactions to an MC who is the oldest sibling but is also the shortest sibling, and they have some self-esteem issues because of it. The Seven Brothers x Reader Word Count: 1,524

Lucifer is on your side one hundred percent of the time. He knew how frustrating it could be at times when you were the eldest sibling.

You felt responsible for your younger siblings and that responsibility made it all the more aggravating when your siblings didn’t listen to you.

Likewise, it was easier for you to understand some of the decisions that Lucifer made, even when none of his brothers could understand his reasons.

And he was grateful to have someone like you in the House of Lamentation. It was a presence that he was sorely missing from his life.

There have been times when he caught you giving lectures to his brothers when they’ve done something particularly rambunctious and he’s never been so proud.

In his head, he’s encouraging you to give them the scolding of a lifetime. But, he won’t step in. He’ll just admire you in action.

And if your self-esteem issues ever come up, he’ll do everything in his power to try and dispel them.

You were an excellent eldest sibling and you were great at being in charge; and, he would make sure the whole world knew it.

Mammon would relate to you the most out of everyone. He understood what it was like to be an older sibling but not get any respect from your little siblings.

You were the shortest out of all your siblings and because of that, sometimes they didn’t treat you like you were the eldest and that gave you a lack of self-confidence sometimes.

Mammon was always battling with his younger siblings. He did his best to come off as confident and self-assured as Lucifer was, but he was constantly made fun of by his little brothers and that led to him having self-esteem issues.

He’ll know how to comfort you when you’re feeling down on yourself more than anyone else because he’s speaking from experience.

And, if you ever get snippy with his younger brothers, you’ll ignite a new sense of confidence in Mammon.

He’ll think of the two of you as a team, and unlike Lucifer, he’ll verbally encourage you with your scolding.

He’ll wear a prideful smirk the entire time and endure the glares from his younger brothers while you finish your lecture.

And when you’re done, he’ll give them a pointed look, silently telling them not to mess with either one of you again. But, really, it’s just you the demon brothers don’t want to mess with. They could care less about Mammon being there for the lecture.

Levi struggled with being an older sibling sometimes. He knew that as the third-born, he was supposed to be looked at as one of the leaders when it came to his family.

But, he struggled with the pressure of making decisions and having strict rules which is why he typically kept to his room and did his own things.

So, it’s a bit of a comfort for him to see that you, an older sibling, also struggled sometimes with your siblings. It made him feel like less of a disappointment.

You had seen how determined and intimidating Levi could be in his games sometimes and you believed that if he could bring that out of himself in real life, he could be as intimidating as Lucifer to his younger brothers.

Levi didn’t care too much about real-life situations though. What he cared about was the way your assertive nature came out when the two of you were playing games.

With the way you could take charge in games, he thought you must be the best older sibling in the world.

Levi would be another one who would be good at helping you with your self-esteem issues and you were just as good at helping him with his.

He even took charge of his brothers a couple of times, surprising himself with his words. He was stunned when his little brothers actually listened to him and he was certain it was because of your encouragement. 

Satan’s reasons for not liking Lucifer weren’t because he was the eldest sibling. It was because everyone compared him to Lucifer.

So, the fact that you’re the eldest sibling doesn’t bother Satan one bit.

In fact, he enjoys the way you’ll put yourself in charge and handle the situations that come up during your time in the Devildom.

It takes a special person to be able to adapt to a life full of demons and you took the challenge head-on and exceeded everyone’s expectations.

Satan couldn’t help but wonder if your siblings helped prepare you for your adventures down there. Maybe your siblings acted like demons - so to speak.

Whatever it was, Satan was grateful for it. He adored watching you when you were being assertive and had a small smirk whenever one of his siblings was taken aback by it.

Here they were, Avatars of Sin and some of the most powerful demons in the Devildom and they were being intimidated by you.

Everything about your personality impressed Satan, and if anyone dared to not show you the proper respect, he would step in.

That included if your siblings decided to tease you about being the shortest one.

To put it simply, Asmo liked it when someone could be dominant.

And since you were the eldest sibling, you tended to have your moments of dominance.

They would make Asmo swoon every time.

It was the way you presented yourself that made Asmo fawn over you.

You could act so sweet and innocent at times and then whenever someone crossed a line, you would be giving them a lecture that competed with Lucifer’s.

It was exciting for Asmo to see both sides of you so he didn’t mind your “eldest sibling” personality one bit.

In fact, in true Asmo fashion, sometimes if he caught one of his brothers doing something wrong, he would call on you just so he could see you give them a good scolding.

The first time he found out that you had some confidence issues due to your height, he was shocked. How could you of all people have self-esteem issues when you were so perfect to him?

But, if there was anyone who could help with confidence, it was Asmo.

He would shower you with compliments until you believed him.

And if your siblings ever made fun of your height in front of him, rest assured he’ll find a way to ensure they never do it again.

Beel might be the second-to-youngest out of his siblings, but he had a very mature personality and sometimes acted more like an older sibling than some of his brothers.

And because of how mature he was, it was easy for you to get along with him.

Beel never got into any trouble or tried to stir up issues. The worst he ever did was eat all of the food - but that was to be expected of the Avatar of Gluttony.

But, whenever you needed help lecturing one of his brothers, he was the perfect helping hand.

There had been multiple times Lucifer called on Beel to help him punish one of his siblings and Beel never questioned it as long as there was proper food compensation.

And the same went for you. If one of the brothers did something that made you mad or was deserving of a lecture, he would hunt them down for you and make sure they stayed still as you taught them a lesson.

And he didn’t even do it for the food. He just did it for you because he cared about you. And because maybe he enjoyed it when you were in charge.

He would make sure to never be on the receiving end of your lecture. And, when he found out about your low self-esteem, he would do everything he could to help you come to love your height the way he did.

Belphie is the least pleased about your “eldest sibling” personality. But that’s mostly just because he has a hard time getting along with Lucifer.

It wasn’t that he necessarily thought that Lucifer was a bad person - it was just his nagging was something that irritated Belphie beyond belief.

It got to the point where Belphie would actually dread seeing his brother sometimes, knowing that a lecture usually came with him.

So, naturally, he expected you to be the same way. Always on his case about something. 

And it was easy for you to see Lucifer’s side of things when it came to Belphie. Sometimes, the eldest sibling has to make tough decisions for their own good.

But, you never flaunted it the way Lucifer did, which was a huge thing for Belphie.

And although you could have your times when you scolded the brothers, you always knew how to lighten up and have some fun with them.

That was something that seemed impossible for Lucifer to do.

So, although he’s a bit wary of you at first, he can see that you aren’t just Lucifer 2.0 and because of that, he grows closer to you all the same.

[supper-ansuta-broth]

Hey guys!

As of the most recent Akatsuki event, fans of Ensemble Stars! across the globe have begun voicing their anger with the distasteful, ignorant, and outright bigoted nature of the franchise's story as a whole (most prominently (but not exclusively) its racist structure, undertones, plot points, and rhetoric). I have always been of the opinion that Happy Elements K.K. as a company is not worthy of respect, and wholly do not care about fans' and users' input, feelings, concerns, and criticisms. Time and time again, H.E. have not only put their own bottom line first, but have made it their only concern.

Needless to say, I am not only disappointed but infuriated with this company. While I am an optimist who hopes to see the best come from any situation, this is not one of the cases where this would be a realistic outlook. Because of this, posts on here will likely be infrequent, as I don't want anyone to believe that even for a moment I think their decisions are excusable.

That being said, while I encourage everyone to do their part in reminding H.E. over and over how much harm they've caused and the colossal damage they've done to their IP, I must also remind everyone that most of a gacha's game's profits come from the small percentage of its highest paying players (i.e. "whales"), and that H.E. has a long history of not listening to its playerbase's concerns and criticisms, even going as far as to silence them and block them for speaking up. They do not care what you think. They care about money, first foremost and only. Be active and speak up, don't support their shitty business practices, but don't run yourselves into the ground in the process of doing so, because at the end of the day they will continue trucking along-- they are too big to fail.

I encourage everyone to direct their focus towards fan creators, and send them as much of your kindness and love as possible. Support the people who create things due to passion and love, not just for money. Enstars has been lacking passionate stories for a long time anyway, with only a handful every now and again. Everyone who creates anything, no matter their skill level, deserves compassion and support. And if you're someone who wants to create something but fears mediocrity, create it anyway. Every great artist was consistently mediocre until they grew enough in their skill to start producing some things they like.

Additionally, this is in no way the fault of the seiyuu, the employees of H.E. who are not in charge of making decisions for the story, or anyone else who isn't directly involved with the meat of what makes Enstars, Enstars. These people are not to blame. Direct your ire towards the writers, the executives, and anyone else who allows these decisions to pass.

That's all I have to say for now. If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask. I can't guarantee I'll get around to everything in a timely manner, but I assure you I will answer anything I can. Thank you for reading.

[insomniadreamzz]

OK OK OK FOLLOWING THE PREGNANCY STORYLINE LETS IMAGINE ISHA IS HERE A CUTE FLUFFY THING WITH EITHER ISHA MEETING THE BABY OR FINDING OUT READER IS PREGNANT AND THAT SHES GONNA BE A BIG SIS

Our family

Jinx x Fem!Reader ft. Isha (plus a little bonus with Sevika)

Fluff

A continuation from the fic „My Everything“ https://www.tumblr.com/insomniadreamzz/772011828255621120/hey-how-are-you-i-wanted-to-request-gp-jinx-x

You still remember when Isha found out she gonna be a big sister, the way her eyes were literally glowing with happiness. Isha was mute but she expressed her happiness clearly, already doing little doodles of her and her sister together with you and Jinx. The way she put her little head on your baby bump to feel her sister kick, it was just too cute.

Jinx already set up some stuff for the little one, making sure youre gonna have everything you needed when the baby will arrive and soon it happened.

You can still remember how Jinx held your hand and never left your side. Singed, the only doctor here in Zaun also made an appearance to make sure everything went well. He wasn’t used to be part of something like that very often but he was glad he could help you out in that situation. Jinx kisses on your forehead and the way she encouraged you during that hard time, it was still stuck in your head how gentle and loving she can be and then it happened. When you first heard your little one cry, both of you shed tears of happiness, feeling relieved that everything went good. It was a little girl.

When you both got back home after that, Jinx immediately ushered you to bed, figuring you must be tired as you had your newborn in your arms, Jinx never leaving your side.

„Look how cute she is…our little one…“ She cooed, holding you close as she admired your daughter, making you smile so happily. „Of course she is, she is ours.“ You mentioned, looking into your girlfriend’s eyes. „What should we name her?“ You asked and Jinx already got an idea, something that she was thinking about for a longer time now since she knew you are pregnant.

„Powder.“ Jinx said, making your eyes widen in confusion, knowing it was Jinx‘s actual name. „Powder?“ You asked, Jinx nodding in response. „Yes. I want to have a good connection to that name now. Every time I hear it I have to think about myself when I was younger and…certain things happened but I want to forget that. I want to be happy hearing the name Powder and not feel triggered anymore by that name. She will be a better Powder, not like me. I am Jinx now, Powder died in me but we can make her be a better Powder than I was.“ You heard her voice crack a little, seeing little tears running down her cheeks. This really meant a lot to Jinx, you knew it. „Then she will be Powder.“ You agreed with her, using your free hand to caress her back gently, getting back her attention towards you. „Thank you my love.“ She said before placing a little kiss on your lips.

The moment got interrupted by little footsteps, it was Isha who curiously walked up to you, Jinx shifting to make space for Isha between you both. „Isha! Come here, say hello to your little sister.“ Jinx said, letting the girl slip beside you as she looked at the little one with wide happy eyes, her small hand gently touching Powder as if welcoming her.

„Now you are a big sister. You can show her everything when she gets a little bigger, cool right?“ You said, Isha nodding at your words, feeling really happy to be a big sister now plus she was excited to have someone to play with in the future as well.

You talked a little more this evening until all of you just fell asleep. Powder on your chest and Isha sleeping between you and Jinx, all cuddled up in one bed. It was a very peaceful moment. Jinx slept for the first time very happily and calm, the voices in her head not bothering her at all. She was truly happy for the first time and she won’t let anyone destroy this happy life she had.

The next morning Sevika was on her way to Jinx’s hideout, it’s been a while since she showed up, probably hanging around in the Last Drop or doing her usual work. Sevika knew Jinx from when Silco took her with him so she felt like she had to look for her every now and then, making sure Jinx was alright.

„Jinx where the fuck are-…“ She started but stopped immediately in her tracks as she saw Jinx holding a baby while you and Isha were still sleeping cuddled up together. „Where did that baby come from?“ She asked with a raised eyebrow, not trusting this situation for now.

„That’s my daughter which came right out of my girlfriend if you want to know.“ Jinx replied with her usual sassy behavior. Sevika didn’t want to know any more details, shaking it off as she stepped closer to Jinx, having a closer look at the baby. „That’s…really yours?“ She asked again, being a little bit shocked, Jinx nodding in response. „Yep! Does auntie Sevika want to say hello to little Powder? Or are you gonna chicken out?“ Obviously Jinx had to tease Sevika but the older woman didn’t let her make her annoyed as she just nodded. Jinx helped Sevika to hold Powder with her arm, the baby looking even smaller in her strong arm. „There you go.“

Sevika stared at the baby with a unusual soft gaze. „Aw…did you just say auntie Sevika?“ She asked to be sure. „Of course! You’re the only one left who’s like a family to me after Silco died.“ Jinx became soft as she said that, thinking it was about time to speak the truth to Sevika, making the other womans eyes water a little. „Silco would be so happy and proud of you Jinx.“ Sevika mentioned, making Jinx almost cry but she held back her tears. Instead a little tear rolled down Sevika‘s cheek. „Are you crying?“ Jinx tilted her head as she gazed at Sevika who just shook her head. „No I am not.“ She said, making Jinx chuckle in response. „Damn you are a bad liar.“

And with that both started chuckling.

[bloomzone]

2025: #10 take care of your mind

your brain is the most powerful tool you will ever own. YOUR BRAIN IS MORE POWERFUL THAN UR PHONE, LAPTOP ... . Yet how many of us actually take care of it? How many of us think twice about what we feed it, how we use it, or how we let it rest? u don’t rise to the level of your dreams you fall to the level of your mind. And if your mind isn’t sharp, disciplined, and protected, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

✒️..You’re probably wondering: “What does it mean to take care of my brain?” It’s simple but not easy. First, let’s talk about what you’re consuming EEEEVRY single thing you watch, listen to or read is planting seeds in your mind. Are you planting weeds or flowers? Scroll endlessly on social media, filling your brain with nonsense, comparison, and negativity—guess what? You’re planting weeds, and they will grow. Your thoughts become your beliefs, and your beliefs become your actions.

THE TRUTH IS you are what you allow into your mind. If you keep surrounding yourself with negativity, if you keep replaying the same self-doubt, if you keep absorbing content that doesn’t serve you don’t be surprised when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or anxious. You’re not broken you’re just fueling yourself with the wrong things.

"So, what do you do?"

1. Detox your mind. Cut out the noise. Start filtering what you consume. Unfollow accounts that drain your energy. Stop watching content that makes you feel small. And for the love of everything pookie stop engaging in drama—it’s not worth the space it takes up in your head.

2. Feed your brain the right fuel. Read books that challenge you. Listen to podcasts that inspire you. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. And no, this isn’t just some feel-good advice it’s about wiring ur brain for growth. The more you surround yourself with knowledge, positivity, and action-oriented energy, the more your brain starts working for you instead of against you.

3. Train your focus. Your brain is a muscle. If you don’t train it, it gets lazy. Meditation isn’t just for monks it’s for anyone who wants to build laser-like focus. Start small—two minutes a day. Sit down, breathe, and let your mind rest. Because a rested brain is a powerful brain.

4. Protect your energy it mean it’s about who you let into your space. People can either fuel your fire or extinguish it. If someone in your life constantly drags you down, you need to set boundaries. Your mental energy is sacred. Guard it fiercely.

🪧-FACT BOX !

『When you kick unhealthy habits to the curb, your brain actually starts to thrive! Imagine cutting out constant stress it’s like a weight lifted off your mind, lowering cortisol levels and giving your memory and learning a boost. Eating betteeeeer and healthier cuz those omega-3s and antioxidants help reduce brain fog while also cranking up serotonin and dopamine, the feel-good chemicals that keep you motivated and happy. Regular exercise is like a power-up for your brain, releasing endorphins and encouraging the growth of new neurons. It’s like giving your mind a fresh start every day (try to wake up early and do any type of exercise and u will see how well ur day will roll) Sleep is another secret weapon—by getting enough (6-7 or even 8 )you’re helping your brain detox and organize memories, keeping everything sharp. And let’s not forget about avoiding things like alcohol and drugs—this keeps your brain’s reward system in check and prevents it from burning out or killing you lmaooo .. All these changes together supercharge your brain, boosting focus, creativity, and mental strength. Your brain will thank you!』

@bloomzone ❕

[satsugacafe]

𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 | (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 4)

➳❥ 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: If it's not a bother for you, can you please write types of simp they are for rojuro, kenpachi, kensei, sajin and iba? Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Zaraki Kenpachi, Unohana Retsu, Ichimaru Gin, Muguruma Kensei, Ulquiorra Cifer

➳❥ 𝐀/𝐍: Anon, I’m so sorry that I didn’t write for most of the characters you requested. Majorly because I don’t write for them. However, I didn’t want to turn down your request and decided to answer for Zenpachi and Kensei while adding in extras. I tried my hand with Kensei for the first time even though I’m uninterested in writing for him.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Zaraki Kenpachi — Aggressively Affectionate Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა Firstly, he’s fiercely protective of you, even though he knows you have strength and skills and all that, he still keeps an eye on you during battles, ensuring no harm comes your way. And god help those who do harm you.

˚₊‧꒰ა We all know he has his roughness, but just for you, he’ll grow a little softer. Ruffling your hair, bumping your shoulders, pulling you onto his lap or letting you piggyback ride across Seireitei or wherever he goes (because he gets lost). Aware of when you’re stressed or tired and forces—scolds—you to take it ease. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. Take a rest, I’ll handle things here.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You’re his favourite sparring partner from now on. Whether you have the strength to go against him, he’s sparring with you. Consider it his way of indirectly training you for tough opponents because once you can handle him, you’re good to go.

˚₊‧꒰ა His hands roam and wander and they do not apologise. Walking through the barracks and suddenly feeling a slap to your ass, standing beside him or bending over and randomly feeling his hands on your hips, out of nowhere, a giant, towering six feet figure drapes over you, or a bone-crushing hug that turns you into jelly. Yup! Expect it.

˚₊‧꒰ა Your number one hype man, or maybe Yachiru fights him for that position. But he’s your hype man and makes sure that his division also hypes you up anytime you’re fighting or celebrating a victory or accomplishment.

˚₊‧꒰ა Constantly makes bets with you to see who can kill more Hollows or beat up (in his case, kill) bad guys. The winner…gets something only he could think of giving. I’ll let you all decide.

˚₊‧꒰ა “Say that again, and you’ll regret it. Do you wanna die?” Yes, he threatens everyone and anyone because they dare ill-speak about you?! Never around or not around him. Would tell you to spar with him so you can feel better. Hit him as many times as you want since he’ll tank every hit.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s fiercely loyal, never letting anyone mutter a single word about you. Which brings about his bluntness when it comes to letting you know how he feels. “I don’t like when you’re upset. Tell me who did this?”

˚₊‧꒰ა Doesn’t like when people interrupt your time with him. “Shoo. Can’t you see we’re busy?” Which leads to his possessiveness, always making sure others know that you’re his. “They’re with me, got a problem with that?!”

Unohana — Gentle-Natured Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა “Have you eaten today? You need to keep your strength up.” Yeah, for all of you who don’t like to eat (proper food), you’re gonna have her on your case when she learns you haven’t been taking care of yourself properly. (don’t think anyone wouldn’t mind though)

˚₊‧꒰ა Super supportive and always there to lend an ear anytime you need something to just listen to or give advice. Words of encouragement will be returned whether you ask for them or not, she will always boost your confidence. “You have so much potential. Never doubt yourself.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Tea dates, which probably start off with cooking dates. I can see her inviting you over to her division to spend time making your favourite meals together before moving to her quarters for a more private setting where you can enjoy your meal and some tea.

˚₊‧꒰ა I really don’t believe anyone is that foolish enough to harm you when she’s protecting you. Like everyone knows her reputation back then, and it hasn’t vanished, so you are well protected. Even if she doesn’t need to revert to that old version of her, her legendary skills in Kido are enough to keep you safe.

˚₊‧꒰ა Randomly pops up out of nowhere when you’re minding your business. All you would suddenly hear is her voice behind you, calling your name sweetly, or suddenly feel her arms sliding around your waist. It gives you quite a scare no matter how many times she reminds you that it’s all in good spirit.

˚₊‧꒰ა She had a habit of touching you as a gesture of reassurance, more for her sake than yours. A silent reminder that you’re real, you’re safe and alive, you’re still here with her. She sees you as her haven, her peace of mind and source of all things good. A light among all her transgressions in her past. Something good in her life.

˚₊‧꒰ა On that note of her being touchy, she does enjoy it when you cuddle her. Even if it’s just leaning into her side and wrapping your arms around her or sleeping beside her—she loves it. A small kiss to your forehead or head while she holds you closely and whispers, “You’re my everything,” or “You bring me much joy.”

˚₊‧꒰ა She loves to call you affectionate nicknames and terms of endearment, which makes your heart race when you look at you so sweetly and softly. “My dear,” “My heart,” “My love,” “My stars.” She’s a romantic one as well, in her own way of course. Surprising you with unexpected acts of kindness, a massage, a hot bath, or a spa day.

Ichimaru Gin — Devoted Simp (obviously)

˚₊‧꒰ა He loves to keep you on your toes, making you flustered or leaving you blushing, when often teasing you in a light-hearted manner. Sometimes, he likes to appear out of nowhere, always keeping an eye on you. “Miss me? I was just around the corner. You look so cute when flustered, you know that?”

˚₊‧꒰ა Fiercely protective and will never let anyone harm you while he’s around or not around. “Touch them, and you’ll regret it.” During any situation that becomes tense, and he notices your discomfort, he’ll use his charming words to defuse the tension. “No need to worry, everything’s under control.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Has a soft spot for seeing you happy and goes out of his way to make you smile. Using the moment to call you affectionate nicknames, often in a teasing yet endearing tone. “Hey, sunshine, come here for a second,” or “Looking lovely to today, cutie.”

˚₊‧꒰ა You don’t have to worry about Gin being honest about his feelings or expressing his thoughts, even if they’re difficult to express. “I care about you more than you know. You’re my everything.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Loves when it’s just you and him together amidst the moments of chaos where he can let his hair down and be at ease. He is protective of those cherished times between you two. Doesn’t appreciate when someone encroaches or attempts to drag you off. “I love moments like this. When it’s just us. You and I.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s very attentive to your needs and wants while listening to your troubles or ambitions. He’ll remember that you only drink beverages of a certain colour or sit on a certain side of the room—as silly or odd as your preferences are, he respects them. As for your goals, he’s there to support you. “I believe in you, and I’m here to support you at all times.”

˚₊‧꒰ა His form of physical affection is as subtle and gentle as the wind. A gentle brush of his hand against your cheek, a kiss to the back of your hand, a gentle hug before he pulls you onto the futon to cuddle and peppers your face in soft kisses, landing the last one on your forehead.

Muguruma Kensei — Tough and Dedicated Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა He naturally has a tough exterior, often giving you a hard time, but it would be clear that he cares deeply about you. His teasing would be a way of showing affection to break the ice in case you felt like he was being a bit too tough on you.

˚₊‧꒰ა Despite his gruff exterior, he’s not immune to your teasing. If you call him out on being soft for you, he’ll scowl, but the faint pink on his ears gives him away. “Tch. Soft? You’re seeing things.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He tries not to let his affection affect his leadership, but it’s clear he values your opinion above others. If someone questions it, his response is simple: “Their insight’s solid. Got a problem with that?” But if that person doesn’t know to back off, he is fiercely protective, even if there’s no real danger. If someone so much as raises their voice at you, he’s immediately in their face.

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s awkward with words when expressing how he feels, so he opts to show his care through actions—like fixing something for you or standing watch during late-night shifts. “What? You needed help, and I had time. No big deal.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Though he tries to act cool, his flustered moments give him away. If you catch him staring, he’ll clear his throat and mutter something like, “You’ve got something on your face—never mind.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Kensei always finds himself drawn to your presence, his usually stern expression softening whenever you're around. “Oi, don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking into my thoughts again.” On rare, quiet nights, he lets himself be honest. “You make all this crap easier to deal with, y’know? Don’t go running off, yeah?”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s surprisingly attentive, remembering small details about you that most wouldn’t. If you casually mention liking a certain snack, it’ll mysteriously appear in the barracks the next day. “Don’t overthink it, yeah? It’s not a big deal.”

Ulquiorra Cifer — Stoic Simp

˚₊‧꒰ა “Why do you insist on holding my hand?” Struggles to understand physical affection and your need for it. To him, it’s confusing and foreign, though, he slowly eases into the act bit by bit.

˚₊‧꒰ა Incredibly observant and always noticing the smallest details about you and remembering them. “You prefer you tea without sugar, correct?” or “You enjoy a warm blanket during the rain.” Even when your interests might be odd to him, once he understands that it brings you comfort, he strives to achieve it.

˚₊‧꒰ა His form of affection of performed through acts of service. Perhaps something of yours finished or broke. He will repair it or retrieve a new and better version for you, in the same colour with greater efficiency, so it doesn’t crash out on you. “Your vase was broken, so I took the liberty of repairing it.”

˚₊‧꒰ა Quiet moments with you are heavily appreciated—often sitting together in comfortable silence or engaging in deep, meaningful conversations. “Your presence is…calming. I enjoy your company.”

˚₊‧꒰ა He’s so straightforward with his feelings, never beating around the bush to leave you second-guessing what he was attempting to say. “I care about you. That is the truth and should anyone harm or take you away from me, they will suffer.” Protective and honesty as well.

˚₊‧꒰ა Enjoy teaching you about the Hollow world and his experiences, finding satisfaction in sharing his knowledge with you. Sometimes he would talk about his time before becoming an Arrancar and the room might grow silent as you feel sorry for his loneliness or the fights he got involved in back then.

˚₊‧꒰ა Has a habit of silently watching over you. At first, it came off as stalkerish since he was always lurking behind you, five paces silently. It was unnerving, but you eventually grew accustomed to his silence as he followed you around for your safety since other Espada might let their superiority go to their head and attempt to harm you.

©satsugacafé 2025: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.

[hoesheez]

All I Ever Wanted…

Bang Chan/AFAB!Reader

WARNINGS: language and unprotected sex

A/N: I’ll have you all know that @gyoobies and I have had this cooking for a while and yes we definitely did write about our biases and YES I DID WRITE CHAN CONFESS HIS LOVE TO THE READER OMFG IM SIIIIICK! 🤢 sigh anyways…

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

"If you're fine with the world knowing you're lonely, then I guess it's not embarrassing for you." you repeated what Changbins girlfriend said in a mocking tone as you watched her and the muscular man walk ahead of you and Chan, “The fucking nerve.” you made sure to speak loud enough for her to know she wasn’t wanted here

Chan laughed out loud , “Come on babe be nice, no need to stoop to her level, yeah?” he said and took your hand. If it weren’t for him and your best friend, you wouldn’t even be here.

You hated camping, the thought of it alone made you upset. Just why would anyone choose to sleep on the ground and suffer in the cold? But chan enjoyed it, and you’d do anything to spend as much time with him as you could. You pulled him close, “Fine, but i want her to know i don’t like her.”

Once you arrived at the lake, the aussies immediately took off their shirts and ran off of the dock into the water. There were two loud splashes and cheering while the others put down their stuff and followed.

Changbin just sat next to his girlfriend at the edge of the dock. You looked down at Chan with your arms crossed over your chest, “How’s the water?” you asked sarcastically, seeing his bottom lip quiver from the cold. “F-f-f-fine,” he huffed out and Felix laughed hard at him.

“You coming in?” he asked as he swam towards you. You shook your head no, “Not yet,” your face contorted in discontent, “maybe when no ones looking.” you explained and he frowned. You were a bit uncomfortable in your swimsuit, even though he already told you how great you looked, he didnt pry and just nodded and floated on his back, “No worries love.”

After a bit, the other boys got in, and eventually, you and Changbin’s girlfriend were the only ones left on the dock. You rolled your eyes, scoffing at the thought of her trying to make small talk. The thought brought you to your feet, “Babe, I’m coming in,” you announced, causing the other boys to almost immediately dart their eyes over to where you were disrobing.

You rid yourself of the shirt and shorts you wore and heard Chan whisper a “Damn,” under his breath. You couldnt help but smile, “ONE SIDE!” you screamed at him before jumping in. The water was freezing cold and as soon as you emerged at the surface, Chan was there smiling and laughing that goofy laugh he did whenever you did anything slightly out of character.

“You look so good, come here.” he brought you in for a kiss and you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck. His kisses were so soft and reassuring, making you instantly feel like the luckiest person in the world.

You all fooled around in the water and Changbin even dragged his girl into the water much to her protest and you couldn’t help but giggle devilishly when she yelled out that her phone was still in her pocket. You all headed back and upon arriving back at the campsite, you saw your friend and Minho dangerously close.

“We’re back!” Chan exclaimed loudly and you watched the two of them distance themselves from one another and look busy. Later, the two of you went and gathered food from the tent and had a chat about how she should be more open and give Minho a chance.

You mentioned just how hot he was and that even if it wasn’t something serious, she could at least have some fun while here. After dinner, the rain started and with one more word of encouragement to your friend, you and Chan hurried into your tent.

“I’d say things are going according to plan,” he said with a wide smile, “What do you think?” You sighed, placing a hand at your hip looking at him with an incredulous look, “I think that bringing broken tents wasnt actually part of the plan, more like you just didnt check them like you should have.” He waved a hand and shook his head, “Yeah yeah, all part of the plan.” He adjusted the pillows and extended a hand to you once you were done zipping up the tent.

“Either way, they’ll thank me later.” You took his hand gently and moved to cuddle next to him in the extra large sleeping bag. “At least something good will come out of this,” you sighed, “I can’t wait to get home.”

He looked at you with sad eyes, wondering if you weren’t having a good time at all. “Yeah, I know you hate camping, and that it’s raining, oh and Bin’s girl is a nuisance but-“ you cut him off with a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, ruffling his curly hair with your fingers. “All of it’s ok if I get to be with you,” you spoke against his lips, “ I’m having a good time, regardless okay?”

Chan kissed you and brought you into a tight embrace, “Good, I’m glad.” he said and the two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

You awoke from your nap after about half an hour, being greeted by your boyfriend’s adorable face. His curly brown hair framed his face and you couldn’t help but give him a peck on the cheek. You quietly got your phone and took a picture of him, but as soon as the shutter went off he woke up.

“You taking pictures of me while in sleeping? Creep.” he joked and you pinched his cheek. “You looked really cute okay?” you said and turned so that he was spooning you now, his strong arms wrapping around your waist.

He nuzzled his face in your neck and inhaled, and upon exhaling, he said somethjng ypu didn’t think youd ever really hear from him. “I love you.” You lay in shock, your mind trying to process what you just heard.

“You what?” you turned to him, his sleepy eyes opening, “I love you,” you stared at him, knowing in that exact moment what you needed to say. “I love you too, Chris.”

He closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you, leaning up to cage you in his arms, “I mean it, I love you.” you pulled him close his body still over you while you kissed.

You soon pulled away with a huff and swollen lips, your breath hitched as you stared into his eyes, “You’re not allowed to take it back” he chuckled hard and just kissed you back. You tugged at the top of his shirt and he pulled it over his head. “I won’t ever take it back, come here.”

He said and you moved towards him, taking off your top along the way, the light from the lantern illuminating your sillouettes on the tent wall. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you clawed at his back, “Been dying to get you alone all day,” he whispered in your ear, “seeing you in that swimsuit,”

He lay you back down and began kissing a trail down your body, “You looked so pretty babe.” he kissed down your belly, swirling his tongue on your supple skin. He grabbed the hem of your shorts and pulled them down your legs, and you eagerly squirmed out of them.

His hand came between your legs, touching you through your underwear before moving them to the side and touching your bare skin. He grunted in your ear, moving in to kiss your neck. “Chan,” you whispered, “don’t tease me,” your voice serious and he simply moved down your body, slotting his head between your legs after finally removing your underwear.

You tangled your fingers into his soft hair as he moved his tongue along you, licking up your slick greedily. Your whimpers dripped from your lips over and over as his tongue swirled, and his mouth sucked on your clit.

You hated how good he was at this and whispered an “Asshole,” before moaning loudly.He just buried his face into you further, using his tongue to fuck you with a piston like speed, “Chris, please,” you begged and he just chuckled against you looking up at you and not relenting in his fervor.

“Fuck!” you cursed, as he then inserted two fingers into you, his tongue on your clit working to bring you to climax. You tugged at his hair, he took the hint and came up to kiss you, his fingers curving to find your spot effortlessly.

Your body greedily moved on top of him, taking his fingers and putting them in you mouth, grinding against his bulge, “Alright babe, I get it, fuck!” he laughed and pulled his cock out of his shorts with his free hand.

“Thank fuck!” you whined with a relieved tone against his thick fingers in your mouth and moved to hover over him. “Hold on,” he said and took his fingers from your mouth. As you sink on top of him, you think he’s going to grab your ass but no, he takes his phone and starts typing.

You refrain from letting out a moan and glare at him, “Really? while you’re inside of me?” you watch as the light from the phone illuminates his face. “Sorry, I just wanted to tell minho something- ah!”

He yelps as you clench down on him, bringjng him from his task and his attention back on you, “I won’t ever do that again Y/n- shit!” he yelps out again and pulls you down, his strong arms enbracing you. “Don’t stop,” he whispers against your lips.

The two of you find a rhythm with you on top, his hips eagerly meeting yours with a slap. Your hands rested on his abs as you bounced on him, squeezing him inside while your breasts bounced. You saw him take his bottom lip between his teeth, “Fuck babe,” his voice soft and needy causing you to lean down and downright ride him like a stallion while he sucked on your nipples.

“Chris, ah I’m close!” your voice cracked as his thrusts quickened. He pulled you back down to lay on your side, bringing your leg over his body, “Come for me, yeah?” he asked as he gripped onto you hard, his nails dighing in as you buried your face in his neck. You bit down on his skin as you were sent over the edge, body shaking while your orgasm wrecked you.

His last few thrusts brought him into his climax right after you and he moaned heavenly praises in your ear. “So fucking good babe, so tight,” he kissed your lips, sloppily. You shook as he shot his seed into you, “Wait, chan we forgot the condom again, for fuck’s sake!” you realized with a yelp and he just laughed?

“Well if you weren’t SO needy for me all the time.” he said before he sucked marks into your neck. “Shut up!” you giggled and brought him in for a kiss. “Mmm, say it again.” you whispered. “I love you,” his words sent you into a giggling fit, “Hehehehe, I love you too.”

The two of you cuddled, basking in the afterglow and after a while, he called Minho, “Well how’s it going?” he asked and the two of you just heard your friend take the phone and let Chan know just how well it was going.

“Oh fuck! Right there! Bye!”

Your friend huffed out before hanging up, Chan’s face was turning red and he just let out a quiet, “Oh my gosh.” You shouted out with a clap loud enough for the whole camp to hear, happy that your two closest friends finally got together after so long.

A/N: HELL YEAH IM DOWN BAD STFU!! i hate that he makes me soft and that he probably gives lots of praise and that he’s probably really good at oral and-

link to the original fic that inspired this here! 🤭 from the besties pov ❤️ thanks for letting me add some shameless chan smut @gyoobies haha 🙄

[doublel27]

I heasitate to do anything that will give this incredibly toxic, bullying tantrum of a post more views, but I also don't think this is okay and people should say so.

It is not an essay, it is a lambasting of someone who disagrees not with just you, but the general discourse that exists around some shows in the BL world because there were over 8 different people's ideas referenced in that post and you focused on you and @lurkingshan. Spending the time to type in 30 tags in the actual post, and another 5 in the comments lambasting someone, offering to pass to anyone screenshots of DMs, utilzing different sizes of script for emphasis that is considered yelling in the written word, and encouraging others to discuss how toxic they are and then demand your boundaries are that they don't respond after flooding someone else's inbox is very rude and inappropriate. I want to applaud @technicallyverycowboy and @lugarn who I have never spoken to before for also calling it out.

I would like to start by saying it's very clear you're incredibly upset and chose to yell at a person who never mentioned you that you perceived as attacking you. Your feelings are okay and should be felt, this response is not. Particularly because there is a whole lot of projection and defensiveness in this post, both in acting like MBDL doesn't understand fandom ettiquite, being disingenous about MBDL's actions and claim to be entirely misread and misunderstood, but let's take a look at what you and lurkingshan actually said in that post, what you misrepresented and misunderstood, and what words were used that might have suggested you were acting as an authority and dismissing other perspectives.

While you value being tagged, when Maybe-Boys-Do-Love says not "everyone enjoys being tagged" could be referring to previous interactions MBDL has had with people who asked him not to (I know i've had that or have been asked to DM) or his own personal feelings of not wanting to be tagged. I don't know, you'd have to ask him rather than assume. You feel a way about what you refer to as vague posting, but not everyone feels the way that you do. Some people prefer to not have an @ shoved at them and prefer to see stuff that could be about them and just say that if someone cared about them enough to say something to their face they would, and move about their day. You are deeply upset by other's possbily vaguely referring to your thoughts on tumblr.com and that's a valid feeling. Bullying a person due to your big feelings however, is not acceptable, and the limited number of reblogs from a specific circle of people, shows exactly how unacceptable the overall community finds this stuff.

You can ask people to @ you in posts that refer to yours and link to them. That's how you feel. On your blog. And you don't have to like how other people act on their blog, but that's also THEIR blog. They can behave how they want, just like you do. Perhaps this whole post is the opposite of what someone would want to have happen to them, in the same way MBDL's was the opposite of what you wanted to have happen.

I want to be very clear that I have seen the post that @maybe-boys-do-love made and your response. Your response is still visible to me on the post and I have reblogged the version of the post on my blog where you responded to MBLD and where MBDL responded to you because I value the fullness of the discourse. I can still see it. Anyone who goes to my blog can still see it. I'm very mystified by the fact that you can't see your response when everyone else can, but I think it should be acknowledged publicly that your point about them deleting your response is a lie you could have fact-checked by asking someone outside of your circle. You have not edited this post to reflect that was a mistake on your part and was the crucx of you deciding to stop engaging in conversation with MBDL in the first place.

However, your quick nature to dismiss criticisms of your posts both above, and in other posts, as "you attacking their faves" or "other fans who only watch shows for shipping" is as dismissive and gaslighting as the work you accuse MBDL of. This Nov. 5 post of yours includes the following quote:

ULTIMATELY, Nihilistic: what we are dealing with regarding your concern, as fans and/or critics of Series Y shows, is a conflict of values, among critical fans like ourselves, other fans who only watch shows for romance and shipping, and the economic bottom lines of the studios/agencies themselves. Some of us just want narratively good scripts, like Bad Buddy or He's Coming To Me. Others are content with having a show end with their fave pairs confirmed together in the end, no matter the process of how they got there.

This dismissal of people who disagree with your definition of good writing and good scripts is the kind of historical conversation and tone from your posts that suggests that you are a critical consumer of content and others who have different opinions are not. Much like you accused MBDL of using "we" to deflect from his own opinion, your use of "us" and "others" repeatedly in that piece gives an us/them perspective. Other is a very othering word, when others is used as a pronoun. Us lets you know you're in the in group, with the taste makers, others lets you know you're not allowed.

From the post that you're concerned was vague-blogged on, which is part of a lager conversation of Spare Me Your Mercy, and Thai writing in general, you said the following:

It seems to me that the fantasies of the fans are worth more, as an investment by GMMTV and other studios in Thailand, than actual artistic material that focuses on queerness at this point. Capitalism and mainstreaming go very well hand-in-hand when there's money to be made, and this, to me, speaks loudly to the excellent points that Shan has made above about really great queer art being anathema to center- and conservative-mainstreams. We're getting less of really great queer art in Thailand, because the dampening of queerness in Thai shows might very well mean more bucks for the studios. Finally, a last point about capitalism that I'd like to make. I've been seeing a rising number of posts and comments taking Tumblr bloggers to task for being critical (like, objectively critical) of bad shows. Many folks don't want to read criticism of their fave shows and stars. I want to note that if one takes this position -- the capitalists have won again. If you're someone who's trying to prevent critical takes from being published, well, you got got by the capitalists -- the studios, the managers who want you to be so in love with your faves that you will ponder asking a writer to censor themselves from making a critical take. You might feel ownership of your blorbo, protective of your favorite star. Those critical takes may feel, to you, like a takedown of your fave.

Again this is highly dismissive and rejects any critism of your takes as people who are just into shipping or faves. Similar to your criticism of the use of the term we in MBDL's post, here you use the term "one" here is short for anyone or everyone. You're claming anyone who disagrees with YOUR version of good writing and good scripts has been "got" by capitalism. (To be fair, I still don't know what your definition of good writing and good scripts are, and I've read all of your posts, as well as Ben's and Shan's and Twig-Tea's. So far I've got a list of common Thai tropes and themes that you don't approve of, and a tonality that is bothersome to you. Which is fair that you don't like it, but you catagorize those as bad and others as good.) Some people enjoyed the shows you didn't, and that's fine. Some of it they thought the scripts were good. Some of it they thought they weren't but enjoyed it anyway. As you stated in the above post this is your opinion and your blog, which is fair. But dismissing people who disagree with you as being got by capitalism and saying things like "ownership of your blorbo" which is to say that that's the only reason someone might like something, or that the only thing that people can like is high art and good scripts is frankly rude. And it's not even like you live up to your own standard. As you stated in the November 5th post:

Now, out of even MORE transparency, I am watching the MESS that is Kidnap right now, and listen, it's NOT GOOD. I'm fucking not even writing about it anymore, I'm just reblogging the sessy gifs. I am watching it to support Ohm Pawat, and am hoping that this partnership with Leng Thanaphon will hopefully lead to better scripts.... somewhere. (Or at least, better scripts for Ohm at a place like One31 or Channel 3. I also hope Ohm keeps up his anti-branded pair stance, but if GMMTV forces him to pair permanently with Leng, it won't be a fucking surprise, and more on that below.)

We're going to ignore that One31 is also owned by the same corporation as GMMTV here for a second, the money flows to the same overlord. We will also ignore that Jes Jespipat has stated that he wanted to leave Channel 3 for BOC, which his managment team, who is also owned by the same corporation as GMMTV and One31, because he felt BOC was full of like-minded people when it came to quality and production. Those are all easily serchable facts as is the fact that One31 and Channel 3 are mass market channels while GMMTV is a teen/ya market channel.

Those facts aside, I think it's really disingenous to suggest that you as a person are capable of distingishing between good writing and bad writing, because you a person with values, and then sometimes watch bad writing for your love of Ohm Pawat, (and who are we kidding, we all tuned in to Kidnap originally because Ohm Pawat had been returned to us). But the idea that you are capable of this thought, and actively choosing, and the way you stated above that anyone who rebutts your takes "got got by the capitalists" (bold is yours, see above and the post) if they tuned into a show for their faves that you didn't like, or thought was bad, that means they weren't doing the same kind of thinking you did around Kidnap. Or that the only way to distinguish what is good and what isn't is your way.

And the worst part of all of this is, lurkingshan and you, misrepresented the article that interviewed the screen writer, Lux and Sammon, and even @benkaben's essay for your own agenda in the post you're referring to. The exact stuff you're accusing MBDL of doing.

Benkaben's initial post that's also linked in lurnkingshan's post, focuses on the fact that there's a comment in the interview that conflates Shipping, Romance, Fanservice with NC scenes and suggests that it makes a work less serious. For those of you who won't link through to the original article, here's benkaben's words:

And hey, you don't need NC scenes for that! No, sexual intimacy is not the only thing that "proves" a romance exist. I mean heck, you could even go all the way around and have all the NC scenes in the world and still present a story where the characters aren't in love with each other, because sex ≠ romance. Absolutely. But also I'm, really tired™, of this idea that any kind of sex portrayed in media is only going to "taint" the final composition. As If sex and love stories were some dirty stain that automatically made the work lesser: Less serious, less formal, less dramatic. I don't agree with the idea that you have to sacrifice intimacy in order to be taken seriously. I don't agree with the idea that sex is by default, just fanservice and therefore it's portrayal subtracts automatically from the story.

The quote that Benkaben is referring to from the original translation is as follows, just in case you're wondering: (I am not fluent in thai and am trusting the translator understood the majority of what was said)

“Sammon's novels are primarily BL and include numerous love scenes. However, we deliberately chose not to present it as a BL story. While the characters are two men in love, we approached it with a dark drama style. The characters are gay, but we don’t offer fan service in every episode or include NC (explicit) scenes. This has been the plan from the beginning. Our decision to omit NC scenes wasn’t influenced by censorship, airtime, or the actors. It’s because the themes we are addressing are heavy and serious. NC scenes would detract from the story’s focus, which is the dark drama and euthanasia. Some fans of the novel might be disappointed, but we believe there’s other enjoyment to be found in the series, even without NC scenes.

The screenwriter states very clearly and explicitly that this was not censorship, airtime or the actors. It was not for the audience or what you can do on Thai television or giving in to the conservatives as lurkingshan argued. Lux said because the themes they were focusing on were heavy and serious, she felt fanserivce and sex detracted from the concept of euthenasia and dark drama.

In fact, I am going to pull out and highlight this line again:

The characters are gay, but we don’t offer fan service in every episode or include NC (explicit) scenes. This has been the plan from the beginning.

In this way, the screenwriter of Spare Me Your Mercy agrees with your main complaint about Thai BL in general that you spent a solid time going in on, that shows are focused on fan service over storytelling. The decision to remove the NC scenes and anything very romatnic, in the directors view, was to comply with your argument of removing fanservice in favor of storytelling.

Additionally, in this post, which prompted lurkingshan's post, you stated:

And — I believe it was also disingenuous to the two previously adapted Sammon stories of Manner of Death and Triage as well, as both of those dramas were able to hold both mystery and romantic storylines to excellent ends, with wonderful touches of intimacy along the way (MaxTul couch scene, my beloved).

Meanwhile, in the translated interview, that @slayerkitty posted Lux did discuss Sammon's thoughts:

When we spoke with the original author, she was also very supportive of this shift because she also wants to highlight the theme of euthanasia. While she herself is a Sao Y and a writer of BL novels, she understands the adaptation’s focus.

And I was honestly very confused by your post this week adding fan service is the downfall and the cause of censorship (which the director of Spare Me Your Mercy said it was not as stated above), because the director of Spare Me Your Mercy ultimately agreed that shows deserve to have a good script and not be beholden to fanservice. You disagree that his script is good. But that's his argument here.

I was even deeper horrified by this line in lurkingshan's post, which ties back to a previous post of yours:

I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

The overwhelming Western paternalism here that suggests that if something is popular in conservative countries and not in the greater queer world means it's a failure as a queer story...That's the statement there: It's popularity underlines why it was a faiulre as a queer narrative.

I think a lot about Casey McQuiston's work, a queer author in America who was raised in some of the most conservative parts of this country. Their work, specifically I Kissed Shara Wheeler is a love letter to queer folx who grew up in conservative communties who LOVE the communties they were raised in, even if that community couldn't fully love them back. I think a lot about all of the boy loves that were turned into bromances in Korea to make the bottom line so that something like Love in the Big City could get made. I think a lot about the amount of money and capital and power it takes to get a story made that a country doesn't want to get told: Saint mortgaged his house to open an entirely QL production house and make the first major GL in Thailand because no one would finance it, The author and director of Meet Me at the Blossom also put her house, and frankly her freedom, on the line to make that show. Because while we'd like to separate the art from capitalist structures, as long as we are living in a captialist world, we are going to have to find ways to both work within the system and resist it. There's a lot of jokes made about how to keep the serious tone of The Eclipse in it's serious true art vibe of telling a very serious story about the deadly nature of the closet and internalized homophobia, that Vice Versa had to have Lay's rain from the sky, because someone had to bring in the money to the company from advertisments to have The Eclipse have the cleaner vibe.

To quote the post by lurkingshan again:

High quality, well-executed, honest and authentic queer art is more likely to be protested than celebrated in places where real queer people are not safe to live free lives.

What makes queer art high-quality, well-executed, honest and authentic? What makes a place safe to live free lives?

In the US? Pose was a beautiful love letter to the Black and latinx trans community, looking at the history of Ballroom in the US in the 1980s. It was succesful in this country, as much of Ryan Murphy's work is. However, it is not safe for the Black and latinx trans communtiy to live in the United States of America. We've got the anti-trans legislation tracker and the HRC had identified 36 murders of Trans and Non-Binary people as of November 30th 2024, disproportionately Black trans women. They acknowldge this is an incomplete account due to: many deaths often go unreported or misreported, or misgendering of victims leads to delays in their identification. This does not even get into the systematic ways in which the queer community as a whole, but the Black queer community in general, is prevented from accessing key resources like housing and jobs with a livable wage.

The US is not a safe country for queer people to live free lives, not as a whole. I live in a Blue state, and am queer and a married to my queer partner. We are not fully out. We are not fully realized as queer humans. Very few queer people in this world live fully out, fully realized lives, due to colonialism and Imperialism. And that's what your argument largely fails to do, is account for the overlay of Western ideals onto non-Western media.

You state loudly that you want good Asian art, like Asian art should be a monolith. It is not for people who are not Thai to decide what good Thai art is, which is why you and lurkingshan do with quotes like this:

I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

This is, in my opinion, but you'd have to ask MBDL because he's not allowed to reply to this without violating your wishes, what he was responding to by the following:

"I just wanted to create a post that made people whose queer tastes diverge from others feel welcome to their own preferences and appreciate that there’s not a single stance in the queer BL fandom about what qualifies as good and/or queer work."

People like MBDL and @le-trash-prince, who are also queer, enjoyed the allegorical queer storytelling of Spare Me Your Mercy. The three gay men who you referenced above did not. That's...fine. that's the whole point of MBDL's message, queer people are not a monolith that all agree.

The people of Thailand, overall, enjoyed Spare Me Your Mercy. There is no way to poll what straight or queer Thai people specifically thought, but it's a key piece of the puzzle that Thai people enjoyed this show. Because that's the base audience. That's who they made it for.

But when you say, and I quote this post again: We're getting less of really great queer art in Thailand, because the dampening of queerness in Thai shows might very well mean more bucks for the studios.

You have decided that Thai shows are not great queer art any longer, and that they are dampening queerness off of the critisms of We Are and Perfect 10 Liners, that have been prevalent from your circle. I'll link this one @twig-tea wrote and another one @bengiyo wrote specifically, which comment on shows created by a queer Thai man, and the writing decisions for Spare Me Your Mercy, which were made using an argument you yourself use to suggest that shows shouldn't engage with imagined couples and fan-service. And while these are your opinions, you also, as I have quoted above, stated that:

Finally, a last point about capitalism that I'd like to make. I've been seeing a rising number of posts and comments taking Tumblr bloggers to task for being critical (like, objectively critical) of bad shows. Many folks don't want to read criticism of their fave shows and stars. I want to note that if one takes this position -- the capitalists have won again. If you're someone who's trying to prevent critical takes from being published, well, you got got by the capitalists -- the studios, the managers who want you to be so in love with your faves that you will ponder asking a writer to censor themselves from making a critical take.

I want to be clear, that MBDL writing a statement about how there are many ways to depict and appreciate queer stories is not saying you can't be critical. It's saying that there are alternative views. People saying if you hate GMMTV, maybe don't watch, are saying you seem to be miserable watching this, you can stop any time.

The thing people are rejecting in your critiques are not that you did not like something, that's fine. It is the sweeping statements that there is a right and a good way to make queer art, and everything else shouldn't be engaged with because it's ruining the genre or selling out to capitalist interests (as stated in the above linked Spare Me Your Mercy post by lurkingshan and yourself, and We Are posts twig-tea and bengiyo). Your words across all of these posts, and this one directed at MBDL are about policing other peoples actions and putting your values onto them. That is the core of toxic fandom. Expecting everyone to engage with it exactly the way you want to.

I'm of the opinion that what's good for queer Thai television is not for foriegn audiences to decide, ultimately. That's for queer Thai people to decide. And some of them may not want to make the greatest queer Thai television, some people may want to make fun queer Thai television, or silly queer Television. And that's also a wonderful thing.

Which is at the core of the argument that Dr. Thomas Baudinette started. Dr. Thomas Baudinette stated the following:

He does not state fully what those anti-social practices are. Are some of them likely toxic shipping, yes. But there's also toxic solo stans. (I do take Dr. Thomas Baudinette with a grain of salt because I also know he's a white academic speaking about a community he's not actually fully part of, and I would like to learn more about what Thai and Japanese and Korean fans think.) But his wording suggests that Thai fans are being influenced by fans of other markets: in your post you discuss the TayGun kiss of it all and there's this quote:

In this case, I would like to note that while we see GMMTV reducing blatant queer perspectives and frameworks from their shows, and promoting friend-ships or bro-ships, in the case of High School Frenemy and the SkyNani branded pair, we see GMMTV's (and Thai BL's) rise continue to grow in certain Asian countries (like China, Malaysia, and Indonesia, among others) that do not allow for public displays of queerness, among other restrictions. GMMTV does not hold branded pair fan meetings in these countries, and yet, these countries are some of the channel's biggest markets for its queer shows and pairs. As well, these countries (I am part-Malaysian myself) do not have public programs of sex education. Thus, if I am to assume that the majority fan bases of these shows are young folks in countries that do not offer robust sex education, then these young folks (of any gender) might not be inclined to join in and participate in conversations about queer equality. We, thus, get the outcry that occurred after Tay and Gun smooched. God forbid fantasies were to have been destroyed because two real-life people kissed. Two men, kissing, outside of the context of their branded pairs and outside the context of a drama. Some people have never been to the club before.

To the first part, GMMTV is not reducing their blatant queer perspectives in their shows. That is factually untrue. They've added more QLs (which at GMMTV are always romances) and queer strands in their non-BLs. In fact, the number of queer shows in 2019 was 3 (2 QL and 3 Will Be Free). The number of shows with QL in 2024 was 12 plus queer themes in an aditional 3 shows. That is an increase of 5 times more queer content in 2024 than in 2019. (source: MyDramaList - filtered for GMM25 and then removing anything not produced through GMMTV). This does not touch on how many of the writers and directors for GMMTV are queer people under the age of 40 sharing their perspectives. Now you don't have to like those queer perspectives but they're not getting less queer. In fact, for the 2025 wave, which did not show a reduction in queer perspectives, but in fact showed a proposed total of 15 BLs, 2 GLs, 1 het (oh Nanon's never coming back), 1 mixed stories with some VERY explicitly queer sections, 1 SkyNani bromance, with 4 BL still outstanding, 1 GL set to air in two weeks, and 6 outstanding non-BLs from the 2024 Up and Above announcements. Second, You conflate the lack of acess to public programs of sexual education to a lack of inclination to join and participate in discussions around queer equity. You then use the word Thus to show causation from lack of access to public programs of sex education and repression of queer people to people having meltdowns over TayGun kissing. Lack of education is not why fans don't have boundaries and can't accept their fantasy bubble being broken. I promise you, Taylor Swift fans yelling at her ex boyfriends over her songs are not doing so because of lack of education about sexual ethics. It's about ownership, which is the heart of the anti-capitalist message you espouse. We allow fans worldwide, not just in specific Asian countries to behave badly becaues they've bought a product of a brand.

The concept of toxic fans is not new nor singular to Thai BL media. @chaos0pikachu has one of my favorite rundowns ever on how the tin hats existed in bandom (and GLEE) before Thai BL was ever a thing. I didn't survive Glee and the loss of Chris Colfer as an actor for us to pretend that the people who do this kind of toxic shit for us to pretend that CPs are the cause. I certainly didn't watch Once Upon A Time fans tweet @ Colin O'Donoghue they hoped his pregnant wife would just die so he could be free to be with Jennifer Morrison for us to pretend this is a BL problem. I definitely didn't watch people harrass Rafael Silva and Ronen Rubenstein out of posting their friendship as a gay and a bi man acting together because the assumption was they were having an affiar behind Ronen's partner's back for us to pretend this was a Thai BL problem due to CPs. I did not watch a bunch of people use interviews promoting the show and the fact that they kiss well to say that Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid are having an affair for us to pretend CPs make this problem.

This problem exists with or without branded pairings, but is entirely tied to idol culture and the objectification of celebrity brand and the intrenchment in being a "Stan" and we've completely lost the plot, Eminem. I still think about regularly Katy Perry asking Stevie Nicks who her rivals were, and Stevie Nicks saying she didn't have rivals but contemporaries. Modern fan culture, globally, in the social media era is set up for rivals: the Swifties, the Bey-Hive, the Katy-Cats, the Barbs, Army etc. Fan culture is like this, and without fans participating in the isolation and ignoring of these people they will continue to harrass and attack people, because as Wicked reminds us, the best way to unite people is to give them a common enemy.

I don't know if you watched the disaster that was Korean netizens sending funeral wreaths to be set up in front of SM building for the member of RII7E who tried to return after fans stalked him to catch him engaging in inappropriate behavior and dug up a middle school girlfriend, which was allowed by the company. I do believe some of this is what he's referring to by anti-social behavior. One of the most horrifying acts of behavior against a GMMTV artist was someone getting into Fluke Nattanon's car and refusing to get out. Like...that's the scariest shit. That shit should be handled. That had nothing to do with shipping culture, and everything to do with a company not enforcing boundaries.

Any time and I mean any time, a person feels that they have the right to objectify a person and control them, that is both NEVER okay and is also NEVER the fault of the person who is being treated that way. No amount of branded pairing is responsible for toxic fans who don't have boundaries. Should the companies do something about them, yes, and that's what Dr. Baudinette is referring to.

To quote @wen-kexing-apologist's essay on objectification of Asian men which you linked in the post on Spare Me Your Mercy:

We all need to, but white Westerners especially, be extremely careful and introspective with the ways we are engaging with queer Asian media

And I take this very seriously. I think it applies not just to the objectification and commodification of the actors, as wen-kexing-apologist wrote about, but also applies to the infantilization and removal of agency of the writers, directors, actors and audiences in Asian countries who are engaging in the process of making and enjoying queer Asian art, suggesting they are not active participants in the process. It is not for interfans to talk over Thai writers, directors, actors and fans of what is and is not true for them and their country's work around queer Thai art.

The long and the short of it, is if you're going to post opinions as facts and undercut anyone who disagrees with you: on what is and what isn't good Asian media, what is and isn't good Thai media, what is and is not queer media, and how people should measure it, and other queer people say out loud: we don't have to all measure queer media the same way and we can have different opinions, and this is your response...I honestly wish you peace.

Clearing The Air On This Wack-Ass Event Of Toxic Fandom That My Brown Ass Was Recently Dragged Into

(*References and endnotes are posted in the comments.)

This past weekend, I was unwittingly brought into an event of toxic fandom instigated by @maybe-boys-do-love. The following is an account of that event, and a rebuttal to misrepresentations that he made in his posts.

1) Chronology of Events and Clarification of Communication, Connections, and Blocks

Late last week, @lurkingshan posted a thought piece about separating art and commerce in discussions of queer shows, and talked, in part, about Spare Me Your Mercy and the show's ratings popularity in Thailand as compared to its narrative shortcomings. The piece also talks about the artistic success, versus the public outcry, of the South Korean queer show, Love In The Big City. I, and a few others, reblogged the post with thought pieces of our own. (If you are interested in following along, reading the second link is a necessity.)

Tumblr user @maybe-boys-do-love subsequently posted, separately on his blog, a reaction post to Shan's post and my reblog of her post (1). His reaction contained misreads and dangerous misrepresentations of Shan's and my writing.

Shan and @maybe-boys-do-love had previously mutually blocked each other (2). Therefore, @maybe-boys-do-love went around the block to react to Shan's post.

He did not make clear to his audience that he was reacting to Shan's post. He wrote his reaction post without citing or linking to Shan's post, and did not tag me as well, thus removing both myself and Shan from a discourse that we had instigated, and prevented his audience from knowing or understanding his reference point for his reaction.

Mutuals reached out to me with @maybe-boys-do-love's piece, having previously read Shan's and my posts.

I DMed @maybe-boys-do-love to note to him that I had seen his post, and that I preferred to be tagged directly in discourse. I wrote that I would write today's post as a means of correcting the incorrect assumptions he made about my opinions. I also checked with @lurkingshan to make her aware of the post and ask if she wanted to be included in a response. Shan stated that she had already blocked @maybe-boys-do-love for previous instances where he indirectly vague-posted about her and misrepresented her writing, and that she had no interest in responding, but was fine with me doing so.

I then publicly reblogged @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post with a clarifying note, sharing the link to Shan's original post and my reblog of our original SMYM discourse. I noted publicly that his reaction post contained misreads and inaccuracies that I will be clarifying today.

@maybe-boys-do-love deleted my reblog. I do not see my original reblog of his reaction post in his reblog notes. Mutuals confirmed, from their blogs, that they also cannot see my original reblog of his reaction post.

I requested to him by DM that he reinstate my reblog. He did not. He reblogged my reblog from my own blog (sorry, y'all) with a response to me and a general defense of his original reaction post.

He denied in DMs that he had deleted my reblog. I stated that I didn't believe him, and requested for our DM conversation to end (3).

2) Toxic Fandom and Expectations of Personal Accountability in Public Forums

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of responding to @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post, I want to take a quick second to talk about toxic fandom and accountability, because it's been a topic bubbling up particularly in the world of the fandom of Asian, and specifically Thai, QLs. My public and private conversations with @maybe-boys-do-love about this reaction incident, prior to this post's publication, have been filled with a kind of noxious disingenuousness and deceit that has given me the damn creeps.

I've had tussles with other bloggers before about our disagreements of the art and economics of Asian QLs. The discourse has been almost always so much fun, often argumentative, sometimes gritty, sometimes passive aggressive, and sometimes parasocial involving the celebrities and creators of these shows.

I have always kept discourse respectful, and I pride myself with integrity on responding to any point that has been shot my way. I have been blocked for my takes, and I have encouraged others to block me if my takes are not to their liking, and they attack me for them. I encourage folks who don't like my takes to curate their Tumblr experiences, and take agency for what they agree with and want to read.

If I rant about someone's potential faves -- someone's fave shows or couples -- I put trigger warnings on those posts (here and here are two examples, and the most immediate link above also has a TW), knowing there's a lot of sensitivity out there over content. I trust the judgement of readers to read those trigger warnings and to skedaddle.

In other words, I take full responsibility and accountability for my writing, and I expect my readers to engage with me in good faith in return. I'm proud of the critical posts I've made over the last two and a half years here on Tumblr, especially my exploration of the history of the Thai BL genre through my Old GMMTV Challenge project.

I posted recently that the Asian QL scholar, Dr. Thomas Baudinette, believes that the number one threat to the growth of the Thai BL industry is toxic fandom and the prioritization of problematic markets.

It's funny that I posted that a few days before this incident happened. The specific elements of toxic behavior as demonstrated by @maybe-boys-do-love, as stated above, are that he

a) subverted blocks to read and respond to Shan's post without citing her, b) he did not clarify for his audience what he was reacting to, thus rendering untruthful his real intentions in writing his post, and c) his actual reaction post contained misreads and misinterpretations of Shan's and my analysis.

I'd like to name some elements of toxic behavior and fandom that occurred in the public communication I had with @maybe-boys-do-love to highlight them in order to emphasize the disrespectful nature of this incident.

In his reblog of my clarification post to his original reaction post, @maybe-boys-do-love writes,

"I also want to respect that not everyone wants to get involved in a back-and-forth on here."

Because of previous DMs, reblogs, tags, and comments on and of my work that @maybe-boys-do-love has made, I know that he is very familiar with my blog and my writing. We have previously communicated publicly and privately. I do not know why he would make an assumption that I would not have wanted to be tagged in his original reaction post, reacting inaccurately to points I made in my Spare Me Your Mercy post, considering that he and I have a public history of prior engagement. 

This assumption (remember the adage about assuming…) makes so little sense to me that I can only conclude he is coming from a stance of a disingenuous and untruthful defense.

More concerning, @maybe-boys-do-love follows with:

"I just wanted to create a post that made people whose queer tastes diverge from others feel welcome to their own preferences and appreciate that there’s not a single stance in the queer BL fandom about what qualifies as good and/or queer work."

Again, as @maybe-boys-do-love is familiar with my blog, I do not know why he would assume that my work is insular so as to not welcome different perspectives and discourse on my opinions -- as he and I had actually engaged, in the past, on our opinions of other content, and that there is overwhelming proof on my blog that I love engaging in discourse with others.

The statement that "there's not a single stance in the queer BL fandom" about my work is disingenuous, disrespectful, and toxic.

If it's not clear in the most obvious way -- and it may not be clear to some -- I am a personal blogger, posting my opinions and analysis, on a personal blog. My blog isn't Encyclopedia fucking Brittanica.

@maybe-boys-do-love indicates in his reblog that his mutuals helped him get around his and Shan's blocks. 

He also identifies as a "flaming gay guy" to characterize his position for his love of Spare Me Your Mercy, leading him to go around the blocks to comment on Shan's original post.

"Friends of mine shared the post with me knowing the love I, as a flaming gay guy, had for Spare Me Your Mercy."

I want to note that in the context of this characterization, I myself reached out to three gay male friends (one Asian friend, and two white friends married to each other). (There's nothing that IRL people love more than an Internet beef.) These three individuals range on the flaming spectrum, and assured me that @maybe-boys-do-love's position does not count as spoken monolithically for the gay male community (4).

Which leads me to my last point (for now) about toxic fandom. As iterated above: these Tumblr blogs we write on are personal blogs, homes to personal opinions, created by individuals.

The danger of trying to leverage group-think or group-speak to validate toxic opinions and toxic engagement with others is high within fandom discourse. I see it all the time on X in BL shipper circles. Maybe @maybe-boys-do-love's friends were too cowardly to write reaction posts of their own, and asked their friend to write one on their behalf. If that's the case, @maybe-boys-do-love can show us the receipts. But I'm guessing that didn't happen.

Within group and family therapy arenas, and human relations and business environments, counseling often focuses on "I-speak" -- the practice of using the "I" pronoun to claim accountability for facts, opinions, recounting of details, and so on. Using the "we" pronoun to justify a position -- without identifying who your "we" is -- weakens a stance, and at the same time, creates panic and fear within a group or community. It's a tactic often used in gaslighting or supremacist situations to generate collective fear over incorrect facts and threats.

This tactic is useless in a scenario like this, when there is ample published proof that @maybe-boys-do-love published a misrepresentative reaction post that did not link to the original source, deceiving his audience; he subsequently tried to monolithically speak for others, and to leverage and claim community to justify his doing so. It's wrong, it's disingenuous, and it's toxic.

I wouldn't want this guy speaking for me, and I hope readers of this post wouldn't want him to, either.

3) Responding to Misrepresented Points in MBDL's Reaction Post

Note: Much of @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post reacted to points that @lurkingshan made about Spare Me Your Mercy and the Asian QL genre. I have consulted with Shan on my responses and she has approved them.

My entire rebuttal is long. An abridged version is below, and the entire rebuttal is linked here at this private link.

I want to start my response to misrepresented points in @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post by highlighting the most noxious misread he made. He writes,

"and just a friendly reminder that a simple BL romcom is equally as queer of a story as a story about HIV."

Much of @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post seemed magically conjured out of his ass to assume or imply that certain points were made by @lurkingshan when they were most certainly not.

NOT ONCE IN @lurkingshan's POST WAS LOVE IN THE BIG CITY DESCRIBED AS A "STORY ABOUT HIV." IN FACT, HIV WAS NEVER MENTIONED AT ALL, BY ANYONE, IN THE ORIGINAL POST, OR ANY OF THE REBLOGS AND ADDITIONS.

That was a heinous and noxious misread and reduction of @lurkingshan's post, wholly inaccurate and misrepresentative of the tone and content of Shan's original writing, and more revealing about him and his perspectives about the shows, than anyone he was pretending to fight.

And nowhere in @lurkingshan's original post did she claim that a BL romcom was not as "equally as queer" as any other story.

I want to respond specifically to an analysis of capitalism and markets that I made in my reblog of Shan's post, that @maybe-boys-do-love then reacted to.

"just a reminder, if we wanna talk about capitalism, that the whole idea of a work being better or worse, queerer or less queer, more valuable or less valuable based on it’s reception in numbers (either higher or lower) is not something Marx and Engels would be into, since they ascribed to exchange value over use value. The labor put into the work is where it’s at—and all of these shows had plentiful hours of (queer) labor put into them! But not everyone who talks about the wrongs of capitalism on here is actually interested in the finer details of how capitalism operates, the full political and economic realities of the companies making these shows, nor the individuals who are forced to fight for change within capitalism’s global structure."

This was such a convoluted, random, and inaccurate reaction to my post that I had to send it to a family member who is an actual professional economist (again, remember, IRL people love internet beefs) (5). He assured me that Karl Marx and Fredreich Engels would NOT have wanted to get tangled up in this beef.

But, anyway. I'm not a communist, and when I speak about capitalism and the markets to which Asian QL content is marketed to, I'm not analyzing the quantity of labor put into these shows that needs to be exchanged on the various Asian markets in order for the shows to be made. That's a very specific sightline into production budgets that maybe tingles @maybe-boys-do-love's brain. I think he was just trying to sound smart.

I want to be clear that he reacted to nothing I wrote in my post. This was a made-up stream of something that only established how he watches and judges shows.

But because I used the word "capitalism" in my post to talk about how GMMTV and other studios are addressing queerness and queer perspectives in their shows, @maybe-boys-do-love found reason to take issue with my writing, and to assume an air of intellectualism to establish a false sense of superiority -- by posting drivel.

All responses can be found at this link.

4) Conclusion and a Public Request to Respect Boundaries

As I wrote above: I wrote this post to make a public record of rebuttal against misinterpretations made about my writing by @maybe-boys-do-love.

I will publicly request that @maybe-boys-do-love do not contact me again. Do not reblog, tag, or comment on my posts.

If I have to block @maybe-boys-do-love, I will. However, I want the ability to read any further reaction he might have to this rebuttal, especially if he continues to besmirch my writing inaccurately and disingenuously.

As he demonstrated that he could not respect Shan's boundaries prior to this incident, I will say publicly now:

RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.

And I want to thank the many mutuals who reached out to me during this incident to offer your support, and to notify me that this public incident of misrepresentation was taking place.

[respectthepetty]

Hi, I read your post about Joong/Est & Dunk beef and I wanted to give you more information as I felt like you were missing some-- and bc I got to know them just 2 months and followed them on twitter and the things have been really insane? wild? and I just need to share.

So after Joong posted the tweet about him & Dunk not being on good terms right now, New(!) posted a reply to it "Is this okay?" (I assume he means is it okay to post such a thing?"). And after that Joong's tweet, I saw many fans who were unaware things have been weird btn JD finding out the two weren't getting along well. I'm not against actors sharing their feelings, but it really felt like a bad PR to me that hurts their branding. I was honestly wondering why GMMTV does not give their artists PR training when Joong suddenly posted a selfie of him & Dunk smiling with moustache filter and Dunk also posted a pic with him & Joong & P'tha who is CEO of GMMTV. AND Joong also deleted his tweet about the beef.

Now my unconfirmed theory is that after Joong posted that tweet, things got a bit out of hand and reached the ears of P'Tha and he made them sort of make up or at least ordered them to act more like usual, and for Joong to delete the tweet. In the event they had the next day, they were doing some fanservice too. It was very jarring to see the whole thing unfold tbh, especially Joong's emotional subtweets and retweets of shady quotes that lasted for weeks made me a little worried if he is mentally okay. I'm not sure JD are even on good terms right now (I don't think they are) - I don't know about Joong but Dunk seems to be trying to reach out like wishing him safe flight... but I sure do hope they can keep their working friendship or recover from whatever they are going through right now bc it would be really sad to see it end.

For Est/Joong, there seems to no visible movement for that side as far as I know except for both of their fans fighting each other like twice a week. They got into fight again today bc Joong doesn't even acknowledge or promote ThamePo even though he guest starred in it. The fan communities have been so toxic and weird and I just honestly feel so bad for the actors.

Anon, I turned off reblogs to this post except for the people mentioned within it because I just learned I could (look at this old dog learning new tricks!) and I hope this encourages you to come back to my inbox, anonymously, and offer more discussion without it getting muddled with others' thoughts.

Because I have a question.

But first I want to solidify one key point - I am invested in whatever happened between Joong and Est and, by extension, Joong and everyone else including Dunk. I just want to make that clear, so you don't think I'm trying to claim some level of emotional superiority with my following question because I'm not. I'm interested in everything you wrote because I'm nosy for no good reason, so I want to know what happened and all the details simply because I want to, and I want to make that clear before I continue.

Now, my question:

Why do you perceive Joong's behavior for the past few months as mentally unstable?

It was very jarring to see the whole thing unfold tbh, especially Joong's emotional subtweets and retweets of shady quotes that lasted for weeks made me a little worried if he is mentally okay.

You are not the first to write this. I have seen this sentiment in various spaces raised here with @waitmyturtles and @simysaru43, and on Reddit, so based on your comment, why do you think his behavior equates to him not being mentally okay? Regardless if he is or isn't, I want to know why YOU think that? And please know that I am genuinely asking anyone who has expressed this thought because I truly want to know others' perspective since I think his behavior is a suitable response to what is happening, whatever it might be (which, once again, I want to know what *that* is because I am soooo very nosy).

Joong is no longer friends (friendly?) with Est, yet they work at the same company; therefore, they must be around each other in a professional capacity. He doesn't seem to be friends (friendly?) with Daou anymore either. Yet Dunk, his work partner, hung out with them outside of work, so why can't he be bothered by that? People have stated it seems immature that he would dictate someone else's behavior, but I think we are underestimating the demands of their jobs and the unstated obligations they must abide by within their working relationships. Joong is an actor in a genre that is known for its (toxic) fans, so I am also surprised that GMMTV doesn't have a stronger grasp on any of its actors' social media presences, but Joong is also human, so having emotions, even public ones, is part of that.

So is the worrisome part of his posts that they focus on his emotions? Does it worry you that his posts are rooted in him publicly revealing his feelings? I'm not in the practice of defending men or their behavior, but I don't like the implication that a man feeling is cause for concern. That's why I'm asking why you are worried about him because I don't want to assume this is where you are coming from. I'm not asking for you to defend yourself or your comments because this is not a battle. I'm kindly asking for your perspective because my background (Mexican, Black, American) tells me this is messy behavior from a man, but my ideologies (feminist, anarchist, lover) tell me to be proud that he is allowing himself to display his feelings on a public forum.

But I might be missing something, culturally, generationally, or a third item I haven't thought about. Which is why I'm asking why his behavior is unsettling to you? I truly hope you respond, and if you want, I won't share your response.

Either way, let's discuss this further.

[the-two-of-clubs]

A r/limbuscompany Reddit thread titled "Why do people refer to Dante as a boy?" had a lot of answers given that frankly depressed me, so I wrote a huge essay. And because it's huge and the Redditors are definitely not going to listen, I'm going to repost it here. For non-Limbus fans, Dante's the game's speaking protagonist of indeterminate gender.

People will just straight up say "I just don't want to use they/them pronouns, it's either he or she and I get to pick, sorry!" and be the top upvoted comment in this thread.

When I encourage you to use they/them pronouns for Dante that's not even because they're nonbinary, it's because it's what Dante is always referred to in the game they're from, and it's because it's a less clunky standin for "he or she" as well. "They" can refer to anyone, that's why it's the single best fit of any common English pronoun for an ambiguous character like Dante. They/them is the only way to refer to Dante without making up a headcanon, whether that be a fan theory that they're Ayin or Benjamin or whatever, or a self insert projection.

They/them is something you (yes you! the reader!) could be getting used to being able to use, for multiple reasons. One of which being for nonbinary people, and another reason being not constantly being forced to assume everyone's gender all the time. To smoothly be able to use language that doesn't constantly exclude women. For example, hearing someone talk about a doctor and immediately leaping to "he/him" is a microaggression, because female doctors are constantly confronted with the assumption that they're either men or nurses.

The more you use they/them pronouns for others, the more natural to you they/them pronouns will seem. And Dante could be a great starting off point for some of you to start doing that. Using they/them pronouns can make somebody's day. It would be real self improvement that matters. You probably know a trans or nonbinary person, whether you know that about them or not.

Some of you are 100% telling on yourselves that you couldn't handle being around a nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns in real life with this thread. The pronouns are so alien and unusable to you you're performing mental gymnastics specifically to get out of using them. Yes, nobody can stop you from using he/him for Dante, knock yourself out I guess. But also, what is your actual reason to do that? And not just some casual excuse that you're throwing out, like "you can't prove Dante's NOT a man" (why not use she/her then, hm? what if she's a woman? at the very least the correct pronoun for this would technically be "he or she", right?) Or "Dante is a male name" (the entire Limbus main cast has male names and you don't see people "he/him"-ing Faust. Seems like a specific issue you guys have with they/them and Dante.) Really ask yourself why. Why ARE you so convinced Dante is a man? No really I'm serious.

And when that question does get asked by OP here, people are arguing in this thread that men are the ones who play Limbus Company, and that of course everyone's calling Dante he/him because almost all gamers use he/him, with the whole self insert argument. Which is dismissal and erasure of women, who apparently don't exist and it doesn't matter if the game's self insert mascot represents them, despite showing up in this thread to tell you that they and their presumably from context also female friends play Limbus. This self insert argument will never make Dante a binary man, it would make Dante another type of nonbinary which is pangender or genderfluid, because Dante represents all players that play them or whichever specific player is playing them, and to refer to Dante as the concept, the gestalt, the infinite-mirror-worlds Dantes that exist on each of our phones, they/them still suffices in a unique way, to pay homage to other players with different genders than you and their Dantes which would match those genders, I think.

Calling Dante "he" is an active choice you're making, going against the way the game refers to Dante.

Using the pronouns that the character always gets referred to in the entire game they're from is the norm. You guys never don't do that, except in cases like this where it's so you can ignore they/them pronouns. You do have an actual reason, conscious or subconscious, to actively change which pronouns you're using. Some of the people referring to Dante as he/him here absolutely have biases that make them unwilling to refer to Dante as they/them and therefore they're going out of their way to contradict the source material, namely transphobia. That might not be you, but it's some of the people you're sharing this take that Dante uses he/him with.

I am under no illusion that Dante is necessarily intended to be nonbinary representation. However, some of your reasons for "he/him"-ing Dante are very much trans exclusionary. "Dante has a masculine frame"... People who look like men to you sometimes aren't men. Heck, sometimes they're cis women. And if this is the first you're hearing of it, yep! That's always been true and you should keep it in mind. We live in a big weird beautiful world. People who look like men to you might be nonbinary and use exclusively "they/them" pronouns for example, and being referred to as "they" rather than "he" might go a long way to their happiness and comfort because of a thing called dysphoria, which can be medically dangerous for people if they suffer too much of it from being misgendered too often. These people can't somehow get a different skeleton structure and look even more androgynous than Dante does in order for you to refer to them respectfully. Training yourself out of jumping to pronouns because of the width of someone's shoulders can do real world good just like training yourself out of jumping to pronouns because of somebody's career. It all helps you act respectfully and challenge your assumptions. And that can start right now right here. You can just refer to Dante or any nonbinary video game character you've been neglecting as they/them, sound it out in your head, nothing is stopping you.

And yes, before someone starts whining that I'm making "too big a deal of this" because I dropped the dreaded T-word that will get me downvoted, Dante isn't real and can't have their feelings hurt by the fact that people keep referring to them as he/him even if they turn out to have been a woman this whole time. I know I am aware. You should know that nonbinary people are reading the posts you're making and seeing how casually and thoughtlessly you're willing to dismiss even the concept of using they/them for a CLOCK who doesn't even have a human FACE let alone an obvious gender, and I for one know that were we to meet, you wouldn't gender me correctly either. You'd take one look at me and thoughtlessly assume you're always right.

Does referring to Dante as anything at all matter directly? No. It's fiction. However, words inspire people. Everyone is just referring to Dante as he/him because everyone else is and it's considered normal. A creative thinker, a leader rather than a follower, is someone who questions what everyone else is doing, and comes to their own conclusions. Coming to your own conclusions is what you will have to do with what I have written here.

For the Tumblr audience this is probably just an unsurprising PSA that Limbus fan Redditors are being weird about they/them pronouns and a bunch of weird arguments they're using to do so. I'm not trying to come after any queer person's he/they or she/her or any pronoun set Dante headcanons in particular here either, you can tell by the explanation of what dysphoria is that's not the target audience. If you headcanon characters having different pronouns when it's not just because you can't be assed to use they/them we're cool that's very cool of you.

[themeraldee]

got some thoughts about depowered homie. we know how he's had to learn to restrain his strength so he doesn't maim every person he touches (unless he wants to 😇). by this point in his life, it's probably pretty instinctive for him to restrain himself pretty much at all times. the world isn't made for someone with his strength. i imagine non supes especially but probably supes too can still feel the inflexibility and power in his touch even though he's holding back, and even on occasions when he's not deliberately trying to intimidate them.

so, if he lost his powers, i'm just imagining an s/o noticing that he seems now to touch them with such - is it hesitance? like they're made of glass and could shatter at any moment? this seems like kinda paradoxical behaviour, right? since he is much less likely to accidentally injure them now. what's going on? should they be worried his feelings for them are fading? and maybe it takes them a little bit to realise that actually, no, he hasn't changed the way he touches them at all - it's just that his strength is more normal now, but he's not relaxed the way he interacts with the world to accommodate this, so they can actually feel how careful he's had to be all his life.

cue some kind of gentle conversation about this with him where they encourage him to let go a little. bit by bit. because he can now. maybe they start by just squeezing his hand and getting him to copy, mirroring their force. he'd probably act as if this is all ridiculous and unnecessary because he's not a child until oops now he's getting teary because he didn't just crush his s/o's hand. how far he has fallen (but also what a relief it actually is, the feelings are messy).

also conversely homelander is probably finding it a bit freaky how he can feel the strength of his s/o and anyone else potentially. someone could force him into something/somewhere the bad room he doesn't want to be, and he couldn't stop them anymore. and so what was once a one-sided trust from the s/o to homelander not to hurt them when he touches them has equalised somewhat.

it'd be a learning curve for them both, him especially, but a good, very intimate one. it could bring them closer together. maybe losing his powers doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. eventually. really, i think it'd just be nice for him to be able to hold someone tight without having to be conscious about snapping their spine. (i think even with supes like maeve and stormfront, hurting them - in ways they didn't want, in sf's case - still must've been a consideration and a possibility. he's the strongest man in the world.)

i know i'm living in a reality so divorced from canon with all this but i cannot be stopped mwahahahah.

oh this is so sweet and tender, my poor heart 😭😭😭 the bit your wrote about squeezing his SOs hand is SOOOOOOO good. I adore that. Both happy that he doesn't have to worry about killing his favourite person but also terrified because he can no longer protect them. He can no longer have the upper hand. G O O O O D

i have so much love for depowered homelander. The struggle between not being who he was—the only thing he ever was—and trying to accept that this is his life going forward. Ahhhhhhhhhh, this is my kryptonite. Especially when his SO ends up being stronger than him bcs he literally never had to work his muscles. Things that just remind him of being ordinary. God the angst is insane.

But also a proper crushing 'i can't breathe' hug would heal him. Feeling, really feeling, his SOs touches. The squeezes, the push and pulls, the hugs, the kisses, the bites. I just!!!! it's not a want, it's a need

trust me, i also live in a world where canon doesn't rule, you're amongst friends 🩷

[everythingblackblack]

Do you have any thoughts/headcanons about Kaito's phobia of fish? It's an interesting character trait considering Kaito's personality and the lack of backstory given to it.

i love the concept of Hakuba being great about it, him canonically being kind to people with irrational fears is wonderful for his relationship with Kaito. Hakuba the human shield against fish! He'd be capable of being subtle about helping Kaito and I can imagine him getting protective if anyone hurts Kaito with it.

How do you think Shinichi and Akako would handle it?

Actually, I do have several thoughts on that.

Have you seen movies like "The Little Mermaid", "PONYO" and "NEMO"?

Well, they are scary movies for Kaito. He must have seen Ponyo and Nemo at some point when he wasn't that aware of his phobia or didn't know what they were about, he definitely has never seen "The Little Mermaid", and the name terrifies him.

I feel like Hakuba would be more proactive in helping him with his phobia and would even encourage him to go to therapy to treat it professionally, because as we know Japan is surrounded by sea, and seafood is their main source of food, I imagine it must be hard for Kaito to have to see fish all the time.

I feel like with Akako, Kaito has a conversation like:

"If witches exist, does that mean mermaids do too?"

"Yes, they do, why? Do you want to see one?"

"Oh, no, not really!"

Akako raises an eyebrow and looks at Kaito, judging him, she knows there's something more to this, so she pressures him to confess and when he tells her, she would definitely tease him a little.

"I'm surprised that the great Kaitou Kid is afraid of something like that."

"Don't make fun of me, Akako!"

"No, calm down, even if I like to tease you, I wouldn't stoop that low, don't worry about the fish, or the mermaids, as long as I'm here, you just have to worry about being cute, I'll take care of the rest."

I like to think that even if she would tease him a little (because that's her personality), she wouldn't really expose him to that, in fact, I see her covering his eyes discreetly so he doesn't see them.

I think that Kaito seeing that Shinichi loves sharks wouldn't tell him, and he would end up finding out until it's too late.

Something like:

"I have tickets to the aquarium!"

Kaito forces himself to smile, even though inside he's screaming. Shinichi looks so happy that he can't bring himself to say anything about it.

When they enter the aquarium, Kaito drags him first to see any non-fish animals. Shinichi starts to get suspicious that something is up, but he ignores it because he thinks Kaito would tell him if it was important.

It's not until they move on to the fish section that he feels something is wrong. Kaito is clinging to him too tightly and has his eyes closed.

"Kaito, are you okay?" "Yeah, yeah, just, you know, I love you and all that." "You're being weird, and not your usual weird self." "Just ignore me, I promise I'm enjoying this." "It doesn't seem like it."

In a moment of bravery Kaito opens his eyes, but it's a grave mistake because he faints. Shinichi takes him to the infirmary and when Kaito wakes up he forces him to tell him what's wrong.

"I'm sorry, you seemed really excited." "No, it's okay, but I'd like you to tell me these things, trust me I don't want to bring you to basically your version of a house of terror." "You know, I don't really mind sharks, I just can't stand fish." "I hope you're being honest, I don't want you to suffer because of me."

[xtarmanderx]

Okay I’ve talked to a few different people and I had a casual thought. Would people be interested in a writing discord where we can chat back and forth and encourage each other and workshop ideas, especially when we’re stuck? Think of it as being beta readers for each other as needed, but also maybe just some friends hanging out and chatting about the pairings they love? I know there are communities here now, but I still don’t understand how that feature works.

Thoughts? Obviously this needs a little more planning and structure, but I just want to know if anyone would be interested in it.

Also please know that I tagged a couple of my main pairings at present, but I’d cautiously be open to others, too. As long as everyone is respectful and lets each other ship in peace!

[auxmodi]

I love your writing!! Thank you for keeping us Sandor girlies fed. I was wondering if you could write a Sandor x Baratheon Princess reader 🤭🤭 it could be any scenario you think of!! I’m just a sucker for that trope

aaaa THANKYOU it means the world to me! <3 i had a lot of fun writing this, hope it hits the spot anon :) its cute and wholesome and kinda gives the same vibe as when sandor and sansa saw eachother in s8

summary: you're a princess, but you trained in secret, learned to fight, and with sandor clegane's brutal guidance, you became something stronger. on the night before the battle, you reunite with him, both of you changed, but standing together, ready for what’s to come.

tags: mentions of war, battle trauma, character growth,

you used to be a princess. just a princess, wrapped in silk and smiles, always told to sit still and look pretty. they never let you forget it.

but you hated it. hated that your value was only ever measured by your bloodline, not what you could do. you weren’t just some helpless thing to be protected. you weren’t fragile.

and so, you stopped pretending.

it started small, a sword slipped into your hands in secret. the first few swings were nothing but awkward, your arms stiff, the weight of the blade unfamiliar. but you kept at it. because, deep down, you knew the truth: if you didn’t fight for yourself, no one else would.

it was him who noticed.

sandor clegane.

he wasn’t the first to see you pick up a sword, and he didn’t care to be nice about it. “what the hell are you doing with that thing, princess?” he had asked, gruff and disinterested, barely sparing you a glance.

you didn’t answer him. you didn’t need to. but the next day, he was there, watching you.

he didn’t train you in any way that felt nice. there was no hand-holding, no encouragement. just him grumbling about your form, making you fight until your arms were raw. and you hated him for it, at first. hated the way he treated you like a soldier, not some fragile girl.

but it was real. he didn’t treat you like a princess. he didn’t coddle you or let you pretend you were something you weren’t.

"keep your bloody head down," he’d snap as he showed you how to hold the blade properly. "you’ll be dead before you get a chance to swing it right."

and, bit by bit, you stopped thinking you were.

it wasn’t just about the sword, not anymore. It was about learning how to be someone who wasn’t afraid. someone who didn’t run at the first sign of danger.

and though sandor never said it, you knew you were getting better. stronger.

-

and then, the war came, and you weren’t the same girl.

no more silk. no more tea parties. no more pretending you could be tamed by anyone. not by your father’s orders, not by the rules of some court you never felt a part of.

no one looked at you the same anymore. not since you’d picked up that sword and started training like your life depended on it. because, honestly? it did.

you were battle-hardened, scarred from your own battles, and you’d fought your way through the worst of it all.

the camp was quieter than usual, the kind of quiet that only comes when the world is holding its breath. the fires crackled in the distance, but the sounds of men sharpening their blades and the muffled chatter of soldiers felt distant, almost like they were from a different life entirely.

the air was cold, and the weight of your armor felt heavier than it should have. you were trying not to let your mind race, trying to focus on the steady rhythm of your own breathing, but it was hard.

you walked, arms wrapped around yourself, trying to shake off the nerves. the world felt too small right now, too suffocating.

and then, you bumped into something solid.

“watch where you’re goin’, little bird."

his voice was rough, the same as it had always been. but there was something different in it now. less gruff. maybe it was the weight of everything that had passed. or maybe it was just him, standing here in the cold with you, when the rest of the world seemed to be falling apart.

you didn’t turn right away. you just stood there, feeling the wind on your face. for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed, even though everything had.

when you did turn, you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips.

he was standing there, as big as ever, his armor dark and worn, his face just as scarred as you remembered. but his eyes, they were softer now, not the same as before. more... weathered.

"long time no see," you said quietly, your voice carrying more than you thought it would. It was almost like you were two people who’d lived whole lives apart, and now, in this moment, everything was coming back to you.

he shifted awkwardly, like he didn’t quite know what to do with this new version of you. this... different you.

"guess you’ve changed a bit," he muttered, his voice lower than usual. It was like he was still trying to keep that distance, even now. but you could hear the faintest edge of something else in his tone, maybe even admiration.

"you could say that," you replied, shifting your weight slightly as you met his gaze. "i’m not that girl anymore."

you weren’t, and sandor could see it. he wasn’t blind, after all.

there was a beat of silence between you two, like you were both taking a moment to remember the past, to feel the weight of everything you’d been through.

finally, he spoke again, quieter this time, almost as if he was hesitant. "you ready for tomorrow?"

you nodded without hesitation. "i'm as ready as I’ll ever be."

his gaze softened even more, just for a moment, and you felt a small flicker of warmth inside you, a comfort you hadn’t realized you needed. it was the kind of warmth you only found in moments like this, where everything was falling apart, and yet you still found a way to stand beside the people who mattered.

finally, you looked at him, your voice quieter this time. "i don’t think i could’ve made it this far without you."

he glanced away for a second, like he didn’t know what to do with the vulnerability in your words. but when he finally met your gaze again, there was something different in his eyes, something almost tender.

“you’re stronger than you think, little bird.”

and for the first time in what felt like ages, you really believed it.

the weight of his words settled in your chest, and for a long moment, neither of you moved. the world was still in turmoil around you, the cold wind biting at your skin, but here, in this strange moment between war and what was coming. you didn’t feel as afraid. you didn’t know if you’d survive tomorrow, if any of you would. but right now, in this fleeting moment, before the world crumbled down on you, you weren’t facing it alone.

and that was enough.

[3liza]

much like human children, I think a sufficiently intelligent dog can be taught to cooperate with boring and uncomfortable procedures through a mixture of trust exercises and clear communication. grim understands various words and phrases I use at home when handling/poking/cleaning/inspecting his head/mouth/ears/paws like "let's see your ears" and "I'm going to look in your mouth" etc. he doesn't understand the English words as a language, he associates the repetitive sounds and vocal pattern with what is happening and also with rewards during the process like food and praise. i just use the English phrases because it doesn't take any brainpower for me. he has a certain number of seconds he can tolerate various kinds of discomfort before flinching involuntarily, and I know how many seconds this is and how to work within the time limit or how to get another chance if we have to reset. it's all very systemic and satisfying.

every time we have to do something difficult like take rideshares to an unfamiliar veterinary appointment and submit to swabs and so on I am always very impressed with churchgrim. i think if I had the wherewithal to train him rigidly he would be a perfect service dog for anyone. as it is, my particular disability needs don't require perfect dog behavior and grim doesn't need to go to restaurants at the moment so not being perfect is ok. "a dog you can hang out with" and "a dog you don't have to constantly be stressed about running off or jumping on people or barking" is more than good enough.

in some ways I feel like he makes many people so happy out in the world when they see him making a goofy face, or prancing around like a pony, or telling someone in the smoke shop about his big day, with their encouragement ("tell us all about it buddy! woo woo woo! that's right. aroo roo. we have a German shepherd too"), that turning him into a more aloof and restrained Service Dog would be a shame. there's service in just making people smile and goofing around, and official service dogs aren't really allowed to do that.

i am better at cooperatively restraining my large dog than the vets and I think that's something to be proud of. my hot tip is that it is faster and easier to just make a large dog lie down on his side and examine that half and then just have him stand up and lie down again on the other side to complete the examination. like searing a pork chop. i have taught grim to do this at home like a circus elephant basically

[forbidden-sin-bin]

Hey Jays fans… or baseball fans in general as well.

It’s almost the end of the season, so no baseball till next spring, it’s gonna be a loooooonnngg break, I know. I know that feeling considering I also watch hockey. And lemme tell you… I know that pain.

(*side-eyes the Leafs and every time they lose round one of the playoffs*)

So… anyone wanna take one for the team and start making some fanworks while we wait? Art, fanfiction… this whole place is barren of anything fan made and that’s a tragedy.

NOW HEAR ME OUT.

We got Hockey fanworks, we got Soccer fanworks, we got Formula 1/Racing fanworks…. But not a ton of Baseball fanworks!

(Granted I see a rise in Shohei Ohtani fanfics which is awesome and it’s a great start)

I’d usually would love to if I had the work-ethic and creativity, but I’m also busy workin on a fanfic series completely unrelated to baseball, so I’m sending out a rallying call for anyone to step up to the plate and show off their works!

Anyways don’t mind me imma just crawl back to where I was hiding-