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#just so many fucking things you need
inkskinned · 3 months
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the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.
women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.
what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.
i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.
fuck, man. write better material.
a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.
god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.
this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.
we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.
i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -
it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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just-null · 9 days
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
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quizzical-is · 2 years
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I fucking hate apartment hunting
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uncanny-tranny · 4 months
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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navree · 2 months
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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v-poreons · 1 month
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I haven't drawn Floyd that much take some warmups
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torchstelechos · 13 days
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I love that In Stars and Time gives the nonconsensual kiss a proper horrified reaction, by the way. Most media where a character can kiss someone out of no where either make it a funny thing or the "romantic" thing, but here Siffrin kisses without permission out of no where and Isabeau reacts correctly! He pushed them away! Because thats surprising, and fucked up to do to someone with no lead up and no permission! Isabeau had no context, and at the time when the kiss happened, was under the impression that Siffrin didn't like touch which can have a variety of horrible reasons for it. Not only that but... We don't know what face Siffrin was pulling and I don't think it was a nice one. Which, again, means that we don't have all the context either! This is a horrible event that has horrible consequences and I love that it does. Because it's something that is horrible and objectively one of the worst things Siffrin did to one of the others in the loops, so I'm just!!! So excited it had bad consequences!!!
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slavhew · 4 months
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Posting my thoughts here too.
PPS; there is something about BGD still looking the same while jake has so clearly changed in appearance. I don't have anything clever to add, except that that stupid fingerless-gloved hand is so quintessentially Dirk, it looks like an aesthetic choice that belongs to a man much younger than Jake. Because it does. Because Dirk stopped, while Jake had to keep going.
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faaun · 5 months
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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sluckythewizard · 19 days
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PART OF A BIGGER DOODLE PAGE. WHEN ITS DONE ILL TUCK THE LINK INTO THIS LITTLE X RIGHT HERE ----> [X] I REALLY REALLY LOVE THE TOM N JERRY DYNAMIC W EMIZEL N VEX. IMAGINE BEING SO SO HAUNTED BY A LITTLE GUY THATS JUST SSSSOO FUCKING ANNOYING.
#CW GORE#HEHEEH WEEEEEE I LOVE THEEMEMM#VEX JUST HATES EMIZEL SO SO SO MUCH AND I LOOOOVE IT. EVEN WHEN WORKING TOGETHER EMIZEL JUST FINDS THE PERFECT WAY TO#GET UNDER THIS DUDES SKIN. A VAMPIRE WHOS BEEN AROUND A LONG LONG TIME.#A VAMPIRE WHOSE COMMITTED COUNTLESS ATROCITIES AND SEEN MANY MANY TERRIBLE THINGS W A SMILE ON HIS FACE#HES A PROFESSIONAL!! HES AN ARTIST! HES A GROWN MAN THAT CAN HANDLE A LITTLE MISTAKE HERE N THERE!!#BUT THEN THIS LITTLE FUCKIN. WEIRDO. W ITS ILLUSIONS. AND TRICKERY. AND STRANGENESS. AND EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS SO SO STUPID#HES WACKY. EVERYTHING HE SAYS MAKES NO SENSE AND YET. AND YET. HE HAS FOILED EVERY PLAN. CAUGHT YOU OFF EVERY GUARD#HE'S MADE YOU PARANOID!!! CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. WE CANT LET HIM GET THROUGH OUR DEFENSES. LEST HE FUCKS UP MORE SHIT#HES JUST A REGULAR BABY VAMPIRE. THERES NOTHING INSIDE OF HIM THAT GIVES ANY CLUE OF HIS STRANGE MAGICAL ABILITIES. SO WHAT THE FUCK??#HES LITERALLY A MOUSE. MAKING YOU SHRIEK EVERYTIME HE SKITTERS ACROSS THE CORNER OF THE ROOM W HIS AWFUL LITTLE PITTER PATTERING. FUCK!!#HES SO SMALL AND SO AVERAGE AND SO SO STUPID AND YET. AND YET HE HAS UNRAVELED EEEVERYTHING AND TOOK DOWN THE STRONGEST VAMP YOU KNOW#SO WHAT THE FUCK????#I LOVE IT WHEN A SCARY VILLANOUS CHARACTER IS REDUCED TO SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS THE PROTAGONIST TO LEAVE THEM ALOOONE. TO GO AWAYYY. PLEASE#HEHEHE WEEE ILL POST THE FULL DOODLE PAGE LAT3RRRR I GOTTA FUCKIN UHHH FIGURE OUT WHEN IM CATCHING THIS STUPID GAY BUS#I ALSO NEED TO FIGURE OUT HHOW MUCH ALCAHOL IM WILLIN TA DRINK B4 I GO HOME. I HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS ONE. I LOVE U GUYS
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after-witch · 1 year
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sometimes you just need your fictional kidnapper to pin your wrists against a wall and brush their face against yours and whisper so, so softly in your ear--
"Don't worry... I'll be gentle."
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pseudophan · 25 days
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i'm so extremely irrationally annoyed by people not knowing what various terms mean and using them incorrectly like i feel like that's such an asshole thing to care about but oh my god stop
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resident-gay-bitch · 8 months
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Single teen dad steve who’s kid comes out as trans kinda young and fuck it’s the late 80’s early 90’s - post upside down - and he’s freaking out because he just wants the best for his little kid. She- he has always been Steve’s biggest priority and he loves his kid no matter what and he’s gonna embrace the hell out of it, but he has worries about it all because he’s in small town Hawkins and people here get beat up for being rumoured to be gay, what the hell is gonna happen to his kid??
But mainly, he has no idea how to help. He doesn’t know anything about it. Robin assists where she can but she’s just as in the dark about it as Steve.
Then comes one night, Axl (they’re trying out new names each month and this month Axl is obsessed with Gunners so it’s only appropriate) is having a panic attack over his dysphoria and Steve is trying his best to help. He can’t bind, doesn’t know how to do it on his own without it hurting really bad, and Steve is trying to help but Axl won’t let anyone see any part of him without a shirt and so it’s hard. They tried to figure out how to do it on Steve’s bare chest but it’s not really the same. Eventually Axl cries himself to sleep about it with Steve sitting on the end of his bed because Axl didn’t want to even be touched after a while.
And Steve doesn’t sleep that night, he stays up half the night trying to bind his own chest correctly, then he tapes balloons and stuffed toys to the front of this big bear they have and tries to bind on that. But nothings working, and he can’t help but feel like he’s failed his kid. He debated calling Robin up to see if she’d come over and he could try binding her chest to figure it out, he knows she’ll say yes because she cares about Axl so much and also won’t care if Steve sees her bare chest as he has before, but she’s out of state for work for a whole other week. He just cries until it’s time to get up for work and school.
Axl is wearing a baggy shirt under an even baggier hoodie, even though it’s the middle of summer. Steve wants to tell him to take it off, to make sure he doesn’t faint today, but he knows that’s only gonna make things worse - everyone at school still thinks he’s a girl. He makes sure to pack ice packs in Axl’s lunch bag and extra ice in his water bottle.
He goes to work and thinks about it all day, then he gets home to find a note on the counter from Axl, saying he’s popped across the street to study with Melody for a while. They’ve been friends since they were little, and she’s the only one from school who knows so far. Steve’s glad Axl’s doing something to distract himself rather than rotting away in bed and making himself feel more sick about it.
Halfway through cooking himself dinner (and by cooking he means microwaving whatever the fuck he can find in the fridge) he gets a knock on the door. It’s Eddie. Of course it’s Eddie. They had plans to catch up for a beer down the pub tonight, since they hadn’t seen eachother in a while now. Steve had been so distracted today he completely forgot.
Steve apologises to Eddie and tells him he’s just been so stressed today and he couldn’t talk to Robin about it and everything is just so complicated, he just breaks down and cries right then and there in his doorway.
And Eddie, being the kind soul that he always has been, pulls Steve into a hug and lets him cry about it.
They sit down at the table together and crack open a couple of beers and eat the microwaved leftovers. And they chat and Steve forgets about everything for a little while. Eddie does that to him; makes Steve forget everything else in the world doesn’t exist besides Eddie.
He’s tried to snuff his stupid feelings for Eddie out for years, since 1986. It hasn’t worked. But Eddie’s been between relationships, and Steve’s had Axl to worry about so trying to have anything serious has been so hard and pointless. No one wants an instant pre-teen, and especially not Eddie who has expressed he doesn’t want kids several times. It’s pointless.
So very pointless.
But Steve wants him anyway.
Eddie asks about Axl, as he always does. He cares about Steve’s kid the way he cares about Dustin, sort of. They get along, but Eddie kinda gets awkward around him for some reason and Axl gets very flustered around Eddie. Steve found it adorable when he was little, Eddie with his long hair and tattoos, he always through it was cool. And as Axl got older, the more he’d avoid Eddie in hopes of not fanboying over Eddie’s band, or tattoos, or his guitar.
But they don’t really see eachother much these days, so now that Axl’s fourteen and too cool to ask questions when Steve brings Eddie up, who knows what they’d be like around eachother?
Eddie’s asking questions, completely oblivious as he asks how “she’s going” and if “she’s surviving her first year of highschool” and blah blah blah, and Steve knows it’s because he doesn’t know. But it messes with his head anyway, because that’s his boy their talking about, not his girl, and it’s been bothering him all day and Steve just-
He crumbles. He opens up to Eddie and tells him everything on his mind right now. How Axl is really a boy, and how they’re trying out new names, and how Steve feels like he’s failing his kid because he doesn’t know how to help him bind, or feel safe, or come out at school, or what to do to get him on testosterone or if that’s even an option and-
Eddie places his hand on Steve’s and smiles so softly, “You’re struggling to bind?” Eddie asks.
“Yeah, it’s like- his chest… he- he’s doesn’t-“
“Yeah, I- I know, Steve.” Eddie nods, “Would Axl be okay with me knowing this? Or, like, not?”
“I don’t know.” Steve so sobs, “I shouldn’t have said anything without his permission, but I just trusted you and I needed to talk to- to someone. And I’m…”
“Okay.” Eddie cleared his throat, “okay, will Axl be home tonight?”
“Yeah.” Steve sniffled and checked his watch, “It’s almost curfew.”
“Okay. Have you got any bandages? Or what have you been using?”
“Yeah, bandages… cloth.” Steve rubbed his nose.
“That’s okay, uhm, how about you go get those for me?”
Steve, confused but too mentally tired to think much of it, goes and does just that. He brings back the rolls of bandages and cloth they were using and dumps them on the table in front of Eddie. Eddie smiles and moves the cloth aside, looking at the strip of bandages.
“The wider ones are better. These are a little thin, but… does he use a sports bra most days?”
Steve nods.
“Okay, I suggest getting some wider bandages. But I can make these work.” Eddie grins.
“What?” Steve grumbles.
“Come here.” Eddie shuffles his chair over to Steve, “Arms up, not up in the air but like, out so I can get around.”
Steve follows his command yet again, and watches with confused eyes as Eddie begins to wrap the bandage around Steve’s chest, talking him through the process; where to place his hands for best compression, and insisting it can’t be too tight or it will hurt.
“It probably won’t be perfectly flat, they never are, but it will be better.” Eddie smiled, “Surgery is always an option, but they won’t let him get that until he’s like, eighteen.”
“How do you-“
“Hey, dad, sorry I’m late, I have a math test tomorrow and we-“ Axl chattered, walking through and shutting the door, “… uhm, hi Eddie.”
“Hi!” Eddie grinned and waved at Axl before looking back at Steve’s chest and fastening the bandage together with the clip at Steve’s side.
“What are you doing?”
Steve felt his heart drop, “I’m- I’m sorry, kid, I shouldn’t have told him but- I was just, I needed someone to talk to, and- It’s not and excuse-“
“No, it’s not.” Axl dumped his bag down on the kitchen counter and walked over, “You should ask before assuming.”
“I know.” Steve furrowed his brow, “I don’t usually-“
“But it’s okay because it’s just Eddie.” Axl shrugged and leant down to look at the bandges wrapped tight around Steve’s chest, “I figured you’d already told all of your friends.”
“Nope.” Eddie shook his head and smiled, “He certainly did not. Cool name, by the way- Guns and Roses?”
“Yeah.” Axl nodded.
“Sick.” Eddie grinned.
“Did you do this?” Axl pointed to the bandages.
“Wait, you’re not upset with me?” Steve asked.
“No, I know you’re not just gonna out me to some cunt who’s gonna beat me up-“
“Language.” Steve pressed.
“Besides, Eddie’s gay and a self proclaimed Freak, out of most of your friends he’s the least likely to judge.”
“Right you are, little gremlin.” Eddie smiled up at him.
“I’m still sorry.” Steve murmured.
“Don’t be.” Axl playfully punched his arm.
“Also, to answer your question,” Eddie continued, “Yes, this is how you bind. I can show you how to do it, if you like? I suggest bigger bandages but this can work for now.”
“Yes please.” Axl nodded, and Eddie immediately started to unwound the bindings on Steve’s chest.
He re-tied it, talking step by step to Axl, and then he got Axl to bind Steve’s chest himself, Eddie talking him through the process.
Then, Eddie got Axl to do it on himself, over his baggy jumpers, because it’s a little different doing it on someone else. Steve sat at the table and watched in awe as Eddie animatedly talked Axl through the process, and Axl couldn’t wipe his smile off his face.
The moment it was done he raced off to his room to do it properly. Eddie went and got them another beer.
“Thank you.” Steve smiled at him, “So much.”
“No problem, Steve-o.” Eddie grinned, “I have not done that in a while, it was kinda fun.”
“What do you mean?” Steve furrowed his brow, and Eddie shrugged and pulled up his shirt.
The first thing Steve noticed was the added ink Eddie had gotten since ‘86. The second thing he noticed was the bat bites scattered over his skin. And the third… two scars stretching along his chest.
Steve remembered being back there, crying and trying to add compression on all of Eddie’s scars. He remembered finding bandages already wrapped around Eddie’s chest, under his clothes, but he thought nothing of it, figured Eddie had cut his chest open or something. Not… this.
Eddie blushed and lowered his shirt, shrugging up at Steve.
“Oh my god.” Steve muttered, and Eddie just stared at him, “Holy shit, you’re like Axl?!”
“Yeah.” Eddie nodded, and then a couple of seconds later Axl was body slamming into the back of Eddie and wrapping himself around him.
“I didn’t think anyone was like me here.” Axl mumbled, obviously trying to not cry, “I always thought you’d be the coolest out of dad’s friends.”
Eddie snickered and gave Axl a hug back, “How’d you go, did you get it?”
“I think so.” He said, stepping back and showing off to them. It’s the first time Steve had seen him wear anything less than a baggy shirt. He was dressed in a cropped muscle tee, and he looked so confident.
Steve started to cry.
“Hey! Look at you, it looks so good, kid.” Eddie grinned, “If you want I can show you how to draw facial hair on to look realistic.”
“Fuck yeah.” Axl grinned, “I want a moustache.”
Eddie snickered and looked back at Steve, his face dropped when he saw him crying, “Hey, Stevie-“
“Thank you.” Steve sobbed and buried his head in his hands, “Holy fuck, thank you so much.”
Eddie smiled softly, “It’s no issues, of course. Anything to help a fellow freak like me, huh?” He smiled up at Axl, “I should be thanking you, it feels nice to have another person like me around again.”
“Do you know more people like us?”
Eddie nodded, “You know my friend Gareth? Yeah, he’s like us, and a two more people but they’re not in town.”
“Oh my god, really?!” Axl grinned, “This is so awesome, can I please come to one of your gigs or something?”
“I thought you were too cool for that stuff?” Steve snickered.
Axl flipped him off, “I just wanna meet him… as a guy.”
Eddie leant out and ruffled Axl’s hair, “Yeah, kid, whenever you like- though, a band practice would be more ideal for a fourteen year old.”
Axl frowned dramatically and went to get himself a drink.
“Seriously, Eddie, thank you.” Steve murmured, “I haven’t seen him that happy in… not in years. He’s just a kid, he’s meant to be that happy every day.”
Eddie nodded, “I know how he feels. I knew I was different really young too, and when I was about twelve I told my mum and she told me to never tell anyone. And then she died, when I was sixteen, and I ended up telling dad for some- I don’t even know why, he beat the shit out of me and I ran away. Like, away away, up to Indi. Wayne found me then, when my dad told him what happened, and bought me home and let me be Eddie.” He shrugged, “I remember the first time I tried binding with duct tape, Wayne found me crying in front of the mirror about it and he came in with bandages and helped me figure it out. I went on testosterone when I turned eighteen, so.”
Steve smiled, “I’m sorry you went through that, Eddie.”
“I’m sorry you’ve been going through this clueless. Wayne had no idea either, he’s got a book on how to look after trans kids now, but he didn’t back then, I can tell you that.” Eddie laughed, “Thanks for being his dad, and like, being a good one.”
“He’s my kid, I can’t just… of course, I love him.”
Eddie smiled, “You don’t know how rare that is for people like Axl and I.”
“I don’t understand why.”
“Me either.” Eddie hummed, “You’re a really good dad, Steve. A really good guy.”
“I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do.”
“Yeah, but you care. More than most people do. You care so much.” Eddie gently took Steve’s hand into his own, “I’m sure you already know but being Axl’s dad isn’t gonna be easy, especially not in fucking Hawkins, but so long as you just stick around and… care, then things are gonna be a whole lot easier for him. It means so much to him, and me, even.”
Steve smiled at him and squeezed Eddie’s hands as a thank you, “Can you stick around too?” He asked, “Help Axl in the places I cant?”
Eddie grinned, “Yeah, of course I can, Stevie.”
“Thank you.” Steve sighed, rubbing his temples, “You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re in my life.”
There was a moment of silence before Eddie whispered, “You have no idea how grateful I am that you’re in mine.”
They looked at eachother, and Steve felt his heart in his throat.
“Okay…” Axl murmured, rolling back over to the table, “You guys are clearly having a moment so I’m gonna stop eavesdropping.”
“Hey!” Steve scoffed, “You little shit.”
Axl chuckled and scruffed Steve’s hair, “Thanks dad, I love you too. You’re my best friend.”
Steve absolutely blossomed at that, he’d never been so happy to hear those words. He used to hear them all the time, when Axl was really little. But then he became a preteen and being friends with your dad suddenly stopped being cool. He’s ecstatic right now.
“Thanks Eddie.” Axl smiled at him, giving Eddie a fist bump as he passed, “Can we like… talk sometime? I just wanna-“
“Know if someone’s gone through all the crazy shit as you?” Eddie offered and Eddie nodded, “How about we get some lunch this weekend, huh? Then hang out at the music store?”
“Sounds good.” Axl grinned and continued to walk past, “I’ll let you guys get back to your moment.”
“Moment?” Steve asked, red in the face, watching Axl walk down the hallway to his room, “There’s no moment, what moment?!”
“Don’t worry about it.” Axl shouted back and walked into his room.
“Axl!” Steve shouted out.
“Axl!” Eddie shouted too, “What fucking moment do you mean?”
Axl poked his head back out the door, “You were having a nice moment about friendship and being a good dad and blah blah blah!” Axl shouted and Steve and Eddie both relaxed, “I just shouldn’t be evesdropping of course.”
“Okay.” Steve nodded and looked back to Eddie, watched the sparkle in his eyes dance as he shifted to look back at Steve. And he melted at the sight.
“Also, this would be a great time to do something about that crush you’ve had on Eddie for years, dad!”
And with that, Axl’s door was slammed shut.
Steve and Eddie were staring at eachother. Eddie was slowly turning more and more red.
“You have a crush on me?”
Steve’s lack of an answer probably was a dead giveaway, but he hoped Eddie was oblivious.
“Oh.” Eddie muttered, and clearly he’s not oblivious, “You have a crush on me- god, I sound fifteen. Wow, you are into me- Steve- you- okay.” Eddie cleared his throat and fixed his posture, “Do- wow, huh, uh… do- do you wanna- do you wanna go out with me? Okay, there, I did it.”
“You’re asking me out?” Steve asked, a little gobsmacked.
“Yeah.” Eddie bit at his nails as he looked at Steve nervously.
“Yes.” Steve swallowed, “Yeah, I- yeah… can- does tomorrow work? Seven?”
“Seven.” Eddie smiled, his shoulders relaxing, “Yeah, a date at seven.”
“Okay.” Steve smiled too, “Wait, is this just… I just need to know if this is a date or like, with the intention of something more serious.”
“Uh…” Eddie swallowed, “Considering I’ve been into you for years now, I’d prefer something a little more permanent. But-“
“You don’t care I’ve got a kid?”
“No, I-“ Eddie ducked his head, blushing, “To be honest I’ve kinda always been jealous he wasn’t our kid.”
“Holy shit.” Steve muttered, “I thought you didn’t want kids?!”
“Yeah.” Eddie shrugged, “I don’t know, you make all my wires cross, Steve. I’ve pictured a whole ass future with you.”
And Steve can’t wait to make that future come true.
And Axl grows up with a second dad who helps him through his transition too, has a little more intel. And Steve loves watching them as they chat about their shared experiences being trans, and cries when Axl comes out and shows off his excessive leg hair one afternoon, and when Eddie starts compulsively making fun of his voice cracks at age seventeen, and when Eddie’s sitting there and talking him through the procedure he’ll endure for his first surgery and- Steve’s just overwhelmed with love for them both.
And then he and Eddie adopt a little girl and Steve’s just so in awe of how Eddie is with the baby, and how Axl instantly takes to the protective big brother role. And just picture it, okay!? Just picture Steve and Eddie having a family together, okay?!
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dykedvonte · 3 months
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Fallout 4 update that fixes your companions affinity reactions cause I canning catch a break with MacCready’s greedy fucking ass.
“MacCready disliked th-” SHUT THE FUCK UP MacGREEDY!!! I am not keeping this life saving cure from this sick little vault boy for caps like your son is literally going through the same shit. Like this specific thing to me was 100% a mistake on some devs part but at the same time I he lives by “Not my kid why the hell should I care” so I’m smacking him upside the head with this pool stick until he acts right.
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dukeofthomas · 13 days
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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