#just reread and some of these r pretty good

[conscious-naivete]

Cons!!!! pal!!! what is the short story about a girl who was swallowed by an open sky :O I would love to read it!! :D

ur lucky i was digging thru stuff recently and knew exactly where this book was, bc i had to dig it out of the boxes in the basement!

the story was The Empty Place from Strange and Eerie Stories by Pat Hancock. i haven’t read this in years, i rmbred it slightly wrong, but i’ve scanned it in below the cut for ya

Mom pointed to the large hawk soaring above the cottage. “Look, Kit. Isn’t it beautiful?"

Kit glanced skyward.

"So what?" she said sullenly. "It's just a bird." She turned her back and began to walk away.

"Kit? Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." Kit kept walking.

"Hold on, Kit. It's nearly lunch time. I want you to stay close to the cottage for now."

Kit took two more steps, then stopped as her little brother, Eugene, dashed out of the bushes beside the cottage. He came straight at her, arms outstretched.

"Hey, Kit, look what I found."

Carefully, he uncupped his hands. But not carefully enough. A bumpy brown toad leapt out just as Kit bent down to look.

"You brat," she hissed, jumping back.

"But, Kit, I never did it on purpose. Come on. Help me catch it again, will you?"

"You wish. Catch your own stupid toads--and keep them far away from me." Kit turned on her heel and stomped away.

"You're no fun anymore," Eugene yelled as he headed back behind the cottage, hot on the trail of the escaping amphibian.

His words pierced Kit with a guilt that nearly stopped her in her tracks. She knew she was acting like a jerk, but this knowledge just made her angrier- -with herself and everybody else.

She hadn't asked to be included in the family's vacation at the cottage. In fact, she'd begged to stay behind in town, where she could watch TV, hang out with her friends and have some fun.

Kit kept walking. She wanted a space of her own, away from the rest of the family. She started to jog, then broke into a run.

"Kit, wait." she heard her mother call. Kit ignored her and kept running until she reached the cover of a nearby willow grove.

From her vantage point under the drooping branches, Kit watched her parents walk back to the picnic table and sit down. Eugene was already seated, getting a head start on the sandwiches.

"Guess who's missing from the happy holiday picture?" Kit muttered angrily. They're just fine, she thought. They can have lots of fun without me.

Turning away, she began to work her way through the willow branches. When she broke through to the other side of the grove, she took a deep breath and took off across the vast expanse of meadow that lay before her.

Kit ran and ran. She ran until her breathing was so harsh and shallow that she could run no more. She slowed to a jog, but finally had to stop. Gasping, she bent over, hands on her knees, and tried to catch her breath.

Gradually, the pounding in her chest lessened, and the pain in her side eased. She straightened up slowly and looked back the way she'd come. Far off, to the right, she could still see the dark outline of the woods ringing the lake, but she could barely pick out the cottage and the willow grove beside it.

Not far enough. I can still see it, Kit thought, and decided to keep going. "Until I don't have to see anyone or anything," she said aloud as she set off once more, this time at an easy jog.

She had no idea how long she'd been running when she started to pay attention to her surroundings again. The first thing she noticed was that the sun was no longer directly overhead. She could still feel its powerful rays on the back of her neck and shoulders, but it was definitely lower in the sky. Her lengthening shadow told her that.

Glancing down, she realized that the ground had changed, too. The soft meadow grasses were gone and, underfoot, dried weeds and withering wild strawberry plants crunched and crackled.

The sun's cooking you too, she mused, looking at the brown and red leaves clinging to a sandy patch of ground before her. Suddenly, a quick shadow streaked across her path. Kit turned and squinted over her shoulder into the sky.

Oh, it's you, she thought as she picked the large black hawk out of the sun's glare. Who invited you along? Go back to my mother. She's the bird lover, not me. Aloud she added, "This is my spot. Mine, you hear."

The realization that she had actually shouted these words left Kit feeling more than a little foolish.

Thank goodness no one is around to hear, she thought. But the words had struck a memory chord. Kit stopped walking and looked around again. Hey, maybe this really is my place, she thought, recalling the game she'd invented when she was little. She flopped onto the ground, thinking that she might finally be able to win it here.

Kit stretched out, her hands clasped under her neck, and began to move her eyes in every direction while keeping her head perfectly still.

"Nearly," she said, sitting up and yanking at a tall clump of chicory that had managed to survive the heat and sand. "Sorry, but you have to go." she announced. Then she lay back down and looked around again.

That's better, she thought. This place has definite possibilities. Then she saw the hawk again.

"Go away," she ordered. "This is my place. You're wrecking the game."

The hawk lingered briefly, suddenly swooped lower, then soared high and faded into the cloudless sky.

Finally, Kit thought. Nobody and nothing. I've finally found my empty place.

Her thoughts drifted back to the summer six years ago when she'd started her search for this place. That year, her family had spent their vacation at her uncle's farm. One day, lying on the roof of the cowshed with her cousins, Kit had found herself staring into an empty, clear blue sky. She had lain outside many times before flat on her back on the apartment balcony, in the wading pool at the park, and even in the schoolyard. But this time was different.

This time, nothing, absolutely nothing had broken her view of the sky-no birds, no branches, no awnings, not even a hydro pole or telephone line. Suddenly, she'd been overwhelmed by the vast emptiness.

This is fun, she'd thought. It's like being all alone in the middle of nowhere, even though I'm really not. It felt good, being in the empty place she'd just discovered.

Keeping her head still, she'd let her eyes wander to the left. Still nothing. Once again, all she could see was blue. When she'd looked to the right, though, a tall tree had intruded into the blueness. Then two crows had risen squawking from the garden, flying directly into view, and the spell had been broken.

But the excitement of that moment had lingered. Several times that summer, she'd searched for a place where she could lie down, look up and around and see nothing but sky. It became a kind of game for her. She'd flop down, cushion her head with her hands, and try out a new place. But, no matter where she tried out the view, something a tree or a bird or a single power line always got in the way.

There was no point even trying on cloudy days. She would not allow the smallest wisp of white to drift by. That was against the rules, rules she'd come up with after that time on the cowshed roof. Only the sun was allowed. She couldn't look right at it anyway, so it didn't count. But anything else would break the spell cast by the emptiness.

When her cousins began to tease her about Iying around all the time, just staring at the sky, she quickly learned to seek out her empty place only when she was alone. She came close sometimes, but she never did find it that summer.

When she returned to the city, thoughts of her summer quest faded. Once, in the winter, she had tried again at the park, after an unusually heavy snowfall. The sun was shining brightly and the park was blanketed in white. She lay down in the snow and looked all around but, try as she might, she could never eliminate the nearby highrises from the picture. No matter where she went in the park, she could still see at least one.

The next summer Kit gave up her search. She was lying with two of her friends on the teeter-tot-ters in the park. The three of them were just lying there saying nothing, staring up at the sky.

When she asked them if they ever tried to find a place where they could see absolutely nothing but the sky, they looked at her as if she had grown antennae. "You're nuts, Kit," one of them had said.

Embarrassed, Kit had vowed never to think about the stupid game again.

But here she was, two years later, absolutely spellbound because there was nothing, absolutely nothing, in sight. This is amazing, she thought Nothing and nobody. Just what I wanted. I wonder how long it will last.

Now that she knew it was possible to find such a place, a new rule began to take shape in her mind. Once I find it, I can't move until something invades it, she thought.

"But that won't take long," she added aloud. "Something always comes along."

Kit lay still, staring upward at the seamless blue canopy, waiting for that something— a plane, a cloud, a bee buzzing by. She waited and waited, but nothing intruded into her empty place.

"Amazing," she repeated softly, relishing the moment.

Then her neck began to itch. Bet I've got a sunburn, she found herself thinking. Hope Mom brought the Noxzema. Don't be silly. Mom always remembers to bring the Noxzema. And the sun block...

Mom always remembers the air mattress, too. And a brand new jigsaw puzzle. Always a new puzzle. Wonder how many pieces this one will have? And the new game? What'll it be? Balder-dash? I'll bet that's it. Have to wait to find out, though. It has to be a surprise...

KIt realized she was looking forward to finding out which games Mom had brought along. Okay, so maybe doing puzzles and playing games with the family isn't so bad, she thought. Maybe I won't be bored totally out of my mind.

Kit scanned the empty sky again. Her neck was getting stiff and she wanted to stand up and brush away the sand that was starting to make her skin itch. Okay, I've had enough. Time for something to break into the emptiness. Time to go home.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," she called.

Maybe I goofed. Maybe I can see something, she thought, and forced her eyes from side to side as far as they could go. But she'd picked her spot well. Without turning her head, she couldn't see past the sandy patch where she had flopped down.

How long have I been here? she wondered. A long time. Shouldn't have pulled out that plant. Then I could have seen it—and I could have got up. Maybe I'lI cheat. Turn my head a bit. I'm sure there was some tall grass just past the strawberry leaves. I remember that.

She checked the sky one last time. Empty.

That's it, then. Time's up, she decided, and turned her head to the side. No tall grass there. She turned the other way. There was nothing there either.

“That's weird." Kit said softly. I was sure it was there she thought. Oh well, I moved my head so the game's over anyway. I may as well get up.

Kit sat up and looked around. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. Impossible, she thought, and scrambled to her feet.

She stared in disbelief. For as far as she could see, there was absolutely nothing, nothing but the occasional wild strawberry runner clinging to the dry brown ground. It was as if the spot had spread around her until it met the sky. The sweat trickling down her neck felt suddenly cold. It sent stiver up her spine.

For a long time, Kit stood transfixed. Then she began to turn slowly, desperately scanning the horizon for anything that would help her get her bearings. She became frantic, looking—and looking again--for a familiar landmark. All she could see was acres of sand meeting the endless blue of the empty sky.

Feeling dizzy, she stopped turning and looked up again. The sun still shone, but it was much lower in the sky. Still, it couldn't help her. She had no idea whether the cottage lay north, south, east or west.

She wanted to run again. But she didn't know which way to go. For the second time that day, Kit began to cry. Sobbing, she felt very lost and alone.

She had no idea how much time had passed when she began to notice the breeze brushing against her tears. Gentle at first, it grew stronger with each gust. Thick white clouds edged with gray began to roll in, gobbling up the blue. Kit's heart raced. She could smell the approaching storm. Run, her mind screamed. Run. Run. Run.

Kit started to run, then turned and began to run in the opposite direction. "Which way? Which way?" she yelled into the terrible emptiness. Despairing, she stopped again, choking back her sobs.

It was then that she saw it. It was only a speck at first, a pinpoint of black in one of the last remaining patches of blue. When it disappeared behind a cloud, Kit thought she'd imagined it. But, seconds later, it was back, soaring and diving, its widespread wings riding the wind. Closer and closer it came, until it was directly overhead. It hovered for a moment, suspended in space. Then, with a mighty flap of its wings, it veered sharply back into the wind, struggling to return the way it had come.

Suddenly Kit realized where it had come from-and she knew where it was going. The voice inside her head became a chorus. Run. Run. Run. Kit began to run again, this time after the hawk.

They were going home.

[rawpastamoth]

Oh! You just rolled up some weird running thing! Wait… It’s second cousin Homestar. Oh, stop getting in the way!

[lavendermatchastrife]

Raw, Next Question

Warnings: 18+ mdni, sexual content, pining, nerd-jo, virgin!gojo, goth!reader, chubby!reader, non-specified poc!reader, au, non-canon, gojo down bad, oral fixation, very slight blood play, pretty much porn with very little plot

Summary: you confide in your best friend about your recent, less than pleasing love life, maybe there’s something he can do about it!!

a/n: you can try to pry certified munch!gojo from my cold dead hands but I promise you wouldn’t get very far. sorry for disappearing, life is just not going my way lately 🥲

Word count: 12719

 The sound of a clock ticking in the corner of the classroom could be heard as Gojo’s class waited for the end of a very tiring school day. Long grey blinds swayed as a gentle breeze blew in from the cracked windows, a ray of sunlight beamed across the room and illuminated his desk in an almost ethereal light. The man himself was certainly angelic, the light only highlighted his delicate features. A pensive expression showed on his face, his thin silver rimmed glasses pushed firm against his wrinkled bridge. Wispy snow-white hair pushed up and out of his face. His class eyed him curiously as he nibbled on his thumb while he appeared to be staring (rather unprofessionally) daggers into his smartphone. What could he be looking at that had him so tense?

 “You good, Mr. Gojo?” His student, Yuji Itadori, piped up just as the final bell rang. As if pulled from his thoughts, Gojo snapped his head up and beamed a wide smile in response to Yuji.

 “Of course, never been better.” He shot a quick glance down at his phone, his screen still open. Yuji gathered his items, a cheeky grin on his face while he waved goodbye to Gojo who was still looking at his phone. He was rereading a sequence of messages between the both of you, hoping he wasn’t dreaming. What had he gotten himself into?

Pretty Girl: Satoru, I think I’m done dating for good.

Gojo: whatttt?!?!! 😨

Pretty Girl: guys r so nasty, just broke up with Naoya. put up w him longgg enough 😚

Gojo: oh shit fr?! What’d he do this time

Pretty Girl: pissed I wouldn’t let him hit it raw, yelled at me so I sent his ass home.

Gojo: need me to give him the ol’ one two

Gojo: jk, that’s actually really shitty :( wanna hang out n take ur mind offa things???

Pretty Girl: yes 🥺 ice cream pls

Pretty Girl: and Twilight

Pretty Girl: ughhh the more that I think about it the more pissed I get, like why couldn’t he just be happy with me. Am I boring Satoru?

Gojo: ur a snoozefest 🙄

Gojo: no, we have a great time together. He couldn’t handle allat anyways

Pretty Girl: what like you could?

Gojo: duh 

Pretty Girl: then prove it later

Gojo: say sike rn

Pretty Girl: I’m single n ready to mingle 😝

Gojo: k, ur in for it

 Gojo groaned and slammed his head against his desk. How would he even pull this off? It’s not like he was some seasoned veteran. He’d never even held hands with anyone other than you, let alone kissed anyone before. (That’s a lie, you were his first kiss back in college, albeit a drunken one.) How was he supposed to have sex with you? He ruffled his already unruly hair, then smothered his head into the aged mahogany further. As confident as he tried to appear, Gojo was not only a loser; but a virgin. Almost as untainted as the day he was brought into the world.

 He knew all about your (sex)capades, your list of boyfriends, your summer flings. It wasn’t like you had very many, you were just trying to enjoy yourself. There was no shame in that, you were a grown woman. You had needs. He was the ever supportive and faithful friend, your shoulder to cry on. If someone broke up with you after sleeping with you, he was right there with a tub of ice cream and a stack of your favorite DVD’s. You fell in love easily, it didn’t take long for you to move on, much to Gojo’s dismay. Him being in love with you was a secret, well a secret from you. Anyone around you both could see how he felt about you, everyone but you got the clue. He was just shy from sprouting a wagging tail and perked ears in your presence.

 If you were crying over a boy it was always: “Satoru, what do they have that I don’t?” “Satoru, you’re such a great guy, why can’t my boyfriend be like you?” “Satoru, what am I doing wrong?” Every time he wanted to shake some sense into you. You should be with me! He’d yell at you in his head, only to spew out some nonsense about just not having found the right person yet. You’d sniffle, and cuddle him all night but that was the extent of the comfort he’d given you. If it was up to him, he’d wine and dine you. He didn’t have experience with women outside of his colleagues, but he knew how to treat a lady at least. He’d seen quite a few movies, read the right books, listened to your complaints enough to know what you would want in a partner. What you deserved. He could just never find the right moment to confess. Would you even accept his confession?

 You’d sleep with him at least. Which is more than he’d ever even dreamt of. A fact he replayed in his head now that he could finally leave his stuffy classroom.

 On any normal day, Gojo would take his time leaving from his busy work day. He’d stay over, grade some papers, work on his lesson plans, go over his notes for the day. Anything to make his work life easier and set his kids up for success. It wasn’t a normal day however, not with you waiting for him. He was rushing out of the school as fast as he could. If no one needed him then what was the harm in leaving a little earlier? 

 The sight of him was comical, other teachers watched in confusion as he sped through the hallways. He’d brushed off anyone that called out to him sorry later, I’m really busy, determined to make it home in record time. He paid no mind to his bag that was hastily stuffed with papers, on the brink of spilling out. His tie loosened, his hair a mess from the constant nervous tugging he’d been doing. He forgot about his lunch box in the teachers lounge. If he thought about it hard enough, he was pretty sure he had plans with a few of his coworkers to go out for drinks later that night, too. That didn’t matter to him, he was sure they’d understand.

 His face flushed when he finally made it to his car, he threw his bag into the backseat and checked his phone for any more messages from you. There were a few unopened, and for the life of him he couldn’t get his phone to unlock fast enough.

Pretty Girl: I’m actually nervous now, are you sure you wanna do this 🫠

Pretty Girl: imma shave just in case

Pretty Girl: wait r you ok w that, what do u prefer?

Pretty Girl: fuck it ill just shave 

 Gojo didn’t stop the dorky smile from spreading across his face. He could tell you were nervous you didn’t have to say anything. He was glad to know that you were probably just as worked up as he was because it took a little bit of the pressure off of his shoulders. He didn’t know what you were expecting, but you had to know that he was lacking in the sexual encounters department. You were extremely open, maybe you weren’t a prolific kiss and teller, but you made sure to tell your best friend all about your experiences. There was no harm in it as long as Gojo didn’t mind, which he didn’t. It’s not like he had the balls to pursue you anyhow. 

 One thing he knew about you was that you were incredibly sensitive, incredibly needy, and just a touch insecure.

 In his mind you were perfect, what could there possibly be about you that warranted the insecurity? He’d seen your figure during countless trips to the beach, your revealing bikinis didn’t leave much to the imagination. If it wasn’t a small piece of fabric strung around your curves, then it was a tight one piece. You’d taken him panty shopping, trying things on to ask for his opinion from a man’s perspective. You were clueless to how crazy you drove him, as you’d twirl and snap the strings on your lingerie. He was thankful that he was the first one to see you in your purchase, even if it wasn’t for him. (Little did he know that you never wore anything he picked out around anyone.) (A fact you tried desperately to keep to yourself.

 Despite him loving every part of you from your curves, to the fat on your tummy, the expanse of your thighs. He loved more than your body, he loved the way you style your hair, the care you put into your makeup and appearance, the way you walked. He loved that regardless of the circumstance you’d always put 100% into your outfit when going out. You were well groomed, something he didn’t know he even wanted in a partner. He’d paid for your nails more times than he can count (or rather, care to remember), treated you to the spa just because you’d been having a rough day or week. If it wasn’t a full set of nails, it was your hair, or hell- a bag or a pair of shoes. Despite your whining about feeling bad that he’d pay for those things, he’d always brush off your concerns.

 “You wound me. I’m a former rich kid that teaches at a private school, I think I can handle you gettin’ your nails done.”

 You’d smile all shy, pushing him back by his shoulder. You’d thank him profusely, which was another thing he loved. The constant praises you’d wash over him, the smiles, the appreciation. You weren’t spoiled or expectant, but forever grateful. The boost to his ego at being the one to bring out those emotions and sweet words was much too thrilling. It was no wonder that he fell in love with you. 

 What was to be expected however, were your boyfriends being extremely jealous whenever he’d do those things for you. Even if they weren’t willing to cough up the money, it wounded their pride to no end. You’d called Gojo on many occasions, crying over a fight you’d gotten into all because of the new purse he’d bought you. Or over a necklace you had been wanting. Her partners would argue that he was doing boyfriend things to a taken woman, but what was the point of being pissed off just because they were too broke to take care of you? That wasn’t his fault.

 On his way home, he couldn’t help himself as he pulled into your favorite store, he had already picked up the ice cream you wanted. It was a cozy small business that wove their own jewelry, he figured a cute bracelet or a dainty anklet would do for a quick pick me up. 

 He chose an anklet the color of his eyes, and then a white bracelet as a cheeky bonus, whistling as he walked through the isles. Why not get both?  After all, you were hard at work all week. You just broke up with one of your longer relationships, right after a shift no less. You deserve something nice for yourself. The cashier greeted him, recognizing him as a regular of theirs. The younger woman bashfully rang his items, her face warm and posture nervous. When Gojo walked away with his purchase slung over his shoulder in its small paper bag, a large sigh tumbled from her mouth.

 He continued to whistle the same tune, stopping by a florist that was in the same outlet. The older woman tending to the arrangements greeted him, welcoming him in and recognizing him from his frequent visits. She was a nosy woman, and prided herself in being the store in the plaza that he frequented the most. She’d secretly display flowers that he was more inclined to go for, he shopped in patterns, just in case he’d stop by for the day. The chances were very high, he loved to give you flowers more than anything. Your smile when you’d take them from him carefully, and cradle them as you gushed at how pretty they were, was his favorite.

 She sang a small song as she waited for Gojo to pick his arrangement for the day, and her gut was right yet again as he picked out something she’d placed on his dedicated shelf. She sprung to check him out, “Will that be all for you? Would you like a card? Would you like these wrapped?”

 “I’d love that black vase behind you, actually.” He was already fishing his card from his wallet, swiping without a care as she checked him out. He generously tipped her, and thanked her with a wave of his bouquet.

 The walk to his car was short, and he made it home just in time for you to text him that you were on your way. He was breathless as the reality sunk in. He scrambled to freshen himself up.

 You lived twenty minutes away, which was just enough time to scrub his long day off of him and arrange his gift on his kitchen countertop. Right as he was grabbing some water for later, and placing it in his sleek modern fridge he heard keys jingling outside of his door. He quickly threw the bottles into his fridge, and jogged to open the door before you could unlock it yourself. You took his breath away as usual, you’d curled the ends of your hair. Your makeup was minimal, a smoky look with a dark brown lip, his favorite combo. Your keys were raised as if you were about to insert them, your hand frozen into place as you stared up at him with wide eyes. You were surprised, but more than that you were desperately unprepared to see him this soon and this close. You’d worked yourself up on the way over, nerves through the roof as the gravity of your situation unraveled before you as well. While you panicked, he continued to take you in.

 A tight black sweater, the sleeves draped across your shoulders exposing them to the slightly cooler air, and a long black and brown argyle skirt hugged high on your hips and stopped at your mid-shins. Black chunky platforms brought you closer to him. You wore thin glasses that were sat pushed against the bridge of your nose. A dainty necklace sparkled at the base of your neck, and when he realized it was something he’d bought for you a couple years back he beamed down at you. You were gonna get it later, he tapped his foot in anticipation as his gaze caught onto your clavicle. Sensually exposed, he wanted to kiss it so bad.

 You cleared your throat, bringing your wrist slowly back towards yourself. As your lips pursed he drank those in as well, his imaginary tail swishing faster with his growing excitement at seeing you. You were close enough for him to smell your perfume. A scent he’d said he liked, as a passing comment when you tried it out at a store a couple of months back. You were so gonna get it. You bobbed on your heels as you waited for him to let you inside, he was so obviously checking you out it was making the heat from your core travel to your cheeks.

 “Satoru…it’s cold.” You laughed as he hastily brought you inside, his eagerness endearing and refreshing. Especially considering the lack of romance in your life for the last six months, despite the fact that you’d been seeing someone. Gojo was apologizing, warming your shoulders up as he steered you into his living room. He placed you onto his plush couch, and you sighed as you sunk into the white expanse. 

 “Hey there,” he finally said as he sat next to you. He placed his gifts into your lap, pinching your cheek when a grin overtook your features. “You’re cute.”

 “Uh,” you began, clearing your throat as you opened the small paper bag. “Satoru, I love this shop. You remembered? Awe, the colors!” You didn’t hesitate to clip the bracelet onto your wrist, the beads in varying shades of white and a very light purple. You admired it, stroking it and turning the beads in their places, appreciating the work. The flowers had a heavy aroma, it was of course a dark blue and black arrangement. The anklet sat in your lap, and when you went to take off your shoes Gojo stopped you.

 “Lemme do that, later.” His smug request brought further heat to your cheeks, and your shy nod made him clench into his thigh. He was feeling his resolve starting to crumble, he was planning to take his time because he wanted this so bad and he adored you. But that was proving to be difficult the more time that passed between you. It hadn’t been long since he’d opened his door to you, however it was starting to feel like an eternity. “You hungry?” He asked, starting to get up from where he was seated. He felt the light blue sweater he wore being tugged, the gentle grip from your hand pulling him back down.

 He was dressed in loose pajama pants, grey ones that didn’t hide much. His excitement was apparent, and you could tell he was going to be a little difficult to manage. Even though you couldn’t see him, you could see his growing arousal, and boy was it on the bigger side. A silver chain, something simple, hung around his neck. It was a gift from you for his birthday last year.

 “Satoru,” the way you whined, leaning back as you drew his name out, made his breath catch onto the back of his throat. “I’m hungry.” You said, turning your head to the side to expose the expanse of your neck. It looked delicious and he didn’t hesitate to take in your pulse and the scent of you as he immediately buried his face into your neck. He placed a light kiss against the thrumming in your neck, it only grew in its rapid dance. “Want dessert before dinner, please.” You pleaded with him, hiking your leg up and around his hip just to pull him over you. Your skirt rose, exposing your leg over his hip. Your platform dug into his side. It felt incredible while he lapped and kissed your neck further.

 “Just a lil’ taste, don’t wanna ruin your appetite.” He agreed, reaching back to pull off your clunky shoes. They thudded heavily behind him, and even though it turned you on you immediately chastised him.

 “Those were expensive! Be careful!” Your pout down at him was beyond adorable, you tucked your chin as you drew your eyebrows inward. He nodded, not arguing with you, and he pushed your legs back against your sides. It felt awkward as your long skirt pushed up your hips as a result.

 “I’m sorry, sweet girl. I’ll get you another pair to make up for it. I’ll be careful from now on, promise.” He leaned down to kiss your knee, and then brought the leg that was closest to the edge of the couch up. Up as he rose back again and he gently kissed your ankle. Your skin smelled like his favorite scrub, something sweet and floral. Your toes were recently done, shiny black polish that he paid for. Your skin was smooth, and he was a little too excited to reach for the anklet he bought you and clip it into place. He kissed it once again, before wrapping it around his hip. Gods he didn’t know what he was doing, when he was going to take things further, what you liked. But this felt like it was going well. He had to be doing something right as he drank in your panting form, excitement written all over your face.

 “Wait, Satoru,” you gently pushed him back, just as he was about to lean down. He was inching your skirt further above your hips, exposing your thighs and lower tummy. Soft skin that he rubbed and soothed as he waited for you to continue, “I’m actually really hungry.” You covered your face in embarrassment as your stomach rumbled almost on cue. He laughed then, a loud surprised one as he looked down at you with such fondness. His gaze soft as he still leaned down, and placed a searing kiss over the front of your panties. A skimpy sheer black pair, he placed his lips over the small black bow in the center. You gasped, raking your fingers in his hair, desperately trying not to buck up. You were so needy, he hadn’t even touched the sensitive part you wanted him to. But the anticipation made it feel like he did.

 “Sure, whatever you want, sweet girl.” He brought your skirt back down, helped sit you up as you fixed your hair. You waited patiently for him to fix you something up, and you felt bad as you watched him walk around his kitchen with his obvious hard on. It wasn’t going away, no matter how focused he was on the task at hand. He was bringing you a tray of snacks, some fruit, some chocolate, some pretzels. (Practically poked your eye out in the process) God he knew you so well, knew exactly what you wanted when you wanted it. He’d been with you for so long, watching you and taking note. It was borderline creepy, he scared himself if he was being honest.

 You happily munched on the snacks he brought you, the tension in the air still buzzing but slowly being consumed by a different feeling. He was over spilling with affection for you as you flipped through the channels on his new television, laughing along as you landed on your favorite sitcom. Corny jokes easing the tension in your shoulders, this is what he wanted from you more than anything. Security, comfortability. He was happy to provide you with whatever you wanted or needed so long as you kept smiling around him. 

 You finally let yourself calm down, in truth while you were hungry you were really just scared. Not of Gojo, never, but of your attraction for him. Scared of how fast things were going, even if you did want it. Badly. You’d always been attracted to him, you’d just never acted on it. There was no way he’d want you. So you let yourself get swept up in small romances, in pretty words and faces that promised to make you happy. They were mediocre at best, but you just couldn’t stop yourself from loving people that treated you well at first and called you pretty. Gojo fell under that category, and so much more, but you wouldn't jeopardize years of friendship. You really didn’t see all that he did was to get you to notice him, you’d thought he was just an affectionate person. Much like yourself. You didn’t understand what possessed you to proposition him that night. You’d been squashing your feelings for years, maybe it was finally getting to be too much.

 On more than one occasion, you’d have friends tell you about wanting to confess to him. To try him out, and you sincerely wished them the best. He’d rejected anyone that you knew, but even if you never saw him date anyone you didn’t think he’d never dated anyone. So as you strolled up to his home, key in hand, you prepared yourself. His experience had to be extensive, he was probably crazy in bed. You’d seen him half naked so many times through the years. Whether it was from trips together or just him unashamedly changing in front of you, you weren’t oblivious to how well built he was. There was no way he wasn’t getting any action.

 You were preparing yourself for a sex god when he laid you down, took control immediately. He moved so smoothly, so sure of himself, he had to know what he was doing. And it not only scared you, but it kind of hurt. The irrational jealousy that you weren’t going to be the first woman he ravaged despite having a couple of bodies yourself. It was funny that you stopped him because it was a little overwhelming, when he was practically the face of an untouched maiden. It was all instinct and adrenaline.

 You finally turned to face Gojo, setting your tray on the black coffee table in front of you. “Can we start in your room? I’m a little sore from being on my feet all day..” Just as your sentences came to an end, he instantly scooped you up. Up we go.~ You yelped in surprise, music to his ears, while he clambered straight towards his bedroom. 

 He kicked his door open, baby blue walls instantly greeting you. Pictures of the both of you throughout the years were scattered amongst his walls, almost taunting you with what you were about to ruin. 

 One in particular caught your attention, hung above his bed was a picture of the both of you at a mutual friend's wedding. You were each other’s plus one. You’d color coordinated, black of course. Happy that your friend was so encouraging of self expression and not superstitious. You’d danced all night, had one too many drinks. When you congratulated the happy couple, his arm was draped so he could hold onto your hip. Possessive for something that wasn’t his, and you ate it up. Reveled in his undivided attention. You danced the night away, fast or slow, it didn’t matter. As the sun began to disappear, you set your camera up, propped against a half finished Corona, you didn't have to beg him for a photo. He knew what you wanted, hugged you tightly from behind as it took a few in rapid succession. Both of you were oblivious to the bets hung in the air on when you’d finally just get it the fuck together. Take that extra leap.

 How could either of you do that though? As reluctance and insecurity shrouded your actions, it was the safest bet to just do nothing. Gojo was not an unsure man. He knew what he wanted, and he got it most of the time. Despite that fact, he was an incredibly devoted man, and knew that so much more than his feelings were on the line. He was lonely, a people pleaser, hung onto any positive reaction he could get. How could he be so selfish, and ruin one of the best things that ever happened to him?

  Well, at least he tried.

 “Of course, I’m sorry sweetheart. You must be so tired.” He gently placed you onto his bed, rubbing your shoulders as you sat on the edge. He massaged down your arms, then made his way down your ticklish sides. “Feelin’ a lil’ better?” You groaned and nodded in approval, then thumped your head onto his broad chest. He tucked his chin over your head while he rubbed your back, the high point of your backside. He could feel the thickness of it as you sat. Your arch into him gave him an insane view. Your silhouette was pitching a tent in his pants, but you were too blissed out to even notice it. Touching you sent shivers down his spine, while goosebumps traveled down yours. 

 “Feels good.” You mumbled, and you further buried yourself into his chest while wrapping your arms around him. He smelled amazing, warm and comforting.

“Is that so.~ I’m glad, want more?” You eagerly nodded and he encouraged you to turn around. He hesitantly pulled your skirt off, careful not to take your panties with it. You lifted your shirt, dragging your bra with it with hardly a care as you laid flat on your stomach. Comfortable on his big bed, cuddling into his fluffy blankets. Comfortability was important to him, and his heart swelled when he thought about the fact that he was making you this way. That you loved his room, and you loved his touch. His hands worked down your back seriously, the knots in your shoulder giving way and you moaned in encouragement.

 “Feels good, ah.” God he was hard, he loved when he could massage you, feeling rewarded himself despite being the one to work your knots away. Knots from a busy hard working day. Although this was his first time having you like this, his knees on either side of your hips. His grey pajama pants were beginning to dampen a little, his drooling cock starting to take its toll. This was so much to take in, your little panties made your ass look like a heart, and his little friend was eager at the sight. He was trying not to touch you with it, but as you felt it painfully strain and twitch every time you moaned you figured you could tease him a little bit. You pushed back into him just the slightest, squishy backside feeling amazing against his lower half. He immediately bucked against you, sweat began to fall from his brow.

 “Sweetheart, can I turn you around?” He asked, rubbing your lower back and stopping himself from kneading the two mounds in front of him. They were jiggling, and he was trying so hard not to bust at the sight. You nodded, just the slightest bit of reluctance as you covered your chest with both of your hands and turned to face him. Holy shit, his eyes were blown. His face was red, and he was so hard. You couldn’t believe your eyes, and thanked the lord that Gojo chose those pants for the night. You felt like you were drooling. The pink tips of his fingers pushed against your pouting maw, and his thumb pulled your bottom lip down. You opened your mouth, tongue squirming inside and he stuck his thumb inside just to feel it twitch. He gently rubbed your tongue, and the slightly salty taste of it had you already seeing stars. You lapped at it, and sucked on it, like it was your favorite candy.

 His breath began to pick up, and all he could focus on was the warm wet sensation. He switched his thumb out for his index and middle fingers. He traced your teeth, your gums, and curiously inched his fingers further down your throat. You tried not to gag, the tears in your eyes proof that he was getting some distance. He pulled them out, a thick strand of drool followed him as if it didn’t want him to leave. Your sharp inhale for breath, a deep and desperate sound further encouraged him. He eagerly placed his coated finger inside of his mouth, and while this normally would’ve repulsed you, instead you felt your heart hammering inside of its cage. Your mouth was still open and you flattened your tongue outward. He couldn’t tell if you wanted him to stick them back in or kiss him, but damn was he going to kiss you senseless regardless.

  He licked your tongue with his own, swallowing you up immediately. You moaned into the kiss, eagerly exploring whatever you could. It was sloppy, and messy, the saliva almost grossed you out. But god did it feel amazing, you’d never do this with anyone else, however he was getting you addicted to doing it with him. You eagerly opened for him, and he drooled inside. He wanted to push you back, he had to do something more. He was getting restless, his hands tugged at the base of your head and tangled into your hair. Your own hands raked through his silky strands. Your noises were deadly, whether it was the smacking of your lips or the squishy sounds of your spittle, or your moans. You were moaning like he was inside of you, and he felt his own pang of jealousy. Others had seen you like this, kissed you breathless and you looked like this for them? 

 He nipped at your bottom lip, and you fought to bite his lip instead. Drawing it back and pricking him in the process. He gasped, and moaned. His noises were surprising, was he always this vocal? You wanted more, so you pulled him down against you just to man handle his mouth again. You were tugging and biting his lip. Surely bruising him but he wanted it, needed you to mess him up like he was going to mess you up. It was overwhelming you how good this felt, how delirious you were starting to feel. He licked your cheek, held your jaw in place as his tongue started where his hand held you, up and along the side of your face. He caressed your ears, and then his hands acted on their own, exploring your exposed chest. You’d forgotten that you were shirtless, forgotten that you’d only been in your skimpy panties. 

 This freaked you out as you were reminded of the fact that you were about to hook up with your oldest friend. Your closest friend. Your insanely handsome best friend that was way too good at kissing and way too pliant. You pushed him back, needing to catch your breath. Maybe even needing to escape. He panted with you, not going to wipe his mouth that had a little bit of his blood mixed in with his saliva. So much saliva, it had to have been yours as well. You were sure you weren’t in a better state than him.

 You sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed once again and he sat next to you. There was some space between the both of you, his ceiling fan spun above you as you continued to breathe haggardly. You shivered, the loss of warmth caused goosebumps to spread across your body, and your nipples tantalizingly perked. He watched you, just wishing you would notice the heart eyes he had for you. That he was giving you actively.

 “S-Satoru.” You choked out, voice breathy, “I want you to know that I really value us.” He nodded along, hanging off of every word that tumbled from your trembling lips. They were red, swollen, your face was moist from him licking you repeatedly. “It- it’s been a while since I’ve slept with someone. Naoya was super selfish, and it hurt so I just didn’t wanna anymore. He was big, which was really scary. And you’re big- Ugh.” You put your face in your hands as you shifted your knees to touch them against his own. “I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t be talking about that when we’re about to…”

 He stopped you then, taking your hands into his own. “Babe, you think that would make me insecure?” He gestured to himself, flatted his lips and lifted his eyebrows as if to say have you seen me? “Besides,” he pointed to below his belt, “do you even know what I’ve got goin’ on down here? I promise, talkin’ ‘bout that guy won’t do nothin’ to me. He ain’t got nothin’ on me.” His confidence perked you up, and a few hesitant giggles left your tense lips. He rubbed your thighs again, hoping to comfort you. And the tension gave way, you leaned against his chest again. “Wanna stop for today?” You shook your head, and clenched your fists into his shirt.

 “I think you just have to take your time to prepare me and whatnot. To put it bluntly, I don’t take big dick well. And you clearly have a big one.” You mumbled, peaking your head up to gauge his reaction. His brows furrowed in response and your heart sank. “If it’s too much you don’t have t-”

 “Why wouldn’t I prepare you?” He sounded genuinely confused, almost offended that you thought he’d just do whatever he pleased. Like your comfortability and pleasure wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. Your heart stuttered once again, and you owlishly blinked up at him. “Gonna make you feel good.” He said, nudging your nose with his own. “Though, you’re gonna hafta guide me. Since I’m a first-timer ‘n all.” You pushed him back then, your jaw gaping at his statement. First-timer?

 “You fuckin’ liar!” You slapped his chest, laughing not believing him for a second. Classic Gojo pulling out some jokes to lighten the mood. He stood firm though, his grin seeming a little too sincere. “Wait, you’re jokin’ right?” You asked, placing your hands flat against his chest as you stared up at him. He shook his head, melting at how beautiful you were.

 “You’re so beautiful.” The words tumbled from his mouth, but you could barely process his compliment as you were stuck on the devastating (yet exciting) revelation. Wait, exciting? How old were you again?

 “B-but that kiss, and all those dates I’ve set you up with.”

 “That was technically the second time I’ve kissed someone.” He held a contemplative look, and rubbed his jaw. “How many kisses do ya think that was? Prolly like, a thousand right?” You beat your fist bluntly against his chest.

 “Oh my God, Satoru! What the hell? You have no experience?” You weren’t disappointed, you just felt a little betrayed. You thought all this time he was just a private person, which you could respect. Turns out he was a fair maiden, and you were about to ravage him like he was some slutty womanizer. 

 “Not a lick of it.” His lopsided grin caused the corners of your eyes to crinkle. “Wanna pop m’ cherry?”

 “What, for real? You’re okay with that?” He squeezed his eyes in response, his self control beginning to finally wither away. Fuck it. It’s go time.

 “You’re such an airhead sometimes, fuckin’ duh I want you. Duh I’m okay with it. I’ve wanted you for, like, ever now.” He squeezed you against himself, his affection finally boiling over, and you hesitantly wrapped your arms around him.

 “You mean it. Really? You want me?” You asked, it was muffled against his sweater. Your hair snagged his necklace. He was getting hot, he needed that heavy thing off. He reached for the hem of it, beginning to pull it off, but you stopped him. “Lemme.” You threw your leg over him, and reached for the bottom yourself. You grinded yourself down on his straining bulge and pulled the garment up and off. It felt good to not be the only topless one.

 “I want you. I need you.” He pleaded, gazing up at you as you held yourself over him. Your knees held you up, your soft hands cupped his face, fresh black manicure scratched at his chin. You brought your own face down, just to nudge your nose against him.

 “Open, then.” And he did, without a second to spare and you let your own string of saliva slowly dribble down into his mouth. He stuck his tongue out, and held you closer to himself, tucking his chin between your breasts as you continued to drool for him. You brought his face up, kissed the corner of his lips, and then trailed down the side of his face. Then down his neck. Small love marks were left in your wake, the trail getting darker and deeper with your intensifying excitement. He held you in place with one arm while he lifted himself up a little to take his pants off. He was wearing briefs that you’d gotten him for Valentine’s day that year. Sleek black ones with tiny white pin stripes that hugged him too well. And God damn it, he was indeed big. Bigger than you thought it’d be. The angry tip (and then some) poked out the bottom of his briefs. You sat yourself down, not caring about your weight or what he wanted at that moment. You were exhausted from holding yourself up, like you said, you’d been on your feet all day. He cooed, then flipped you both with ease so that you could lay down. Your body relaxed and you smiled up at him gratefully.

 His hands rubbed down your sides again, you opened your legs so he could slot himself between them. The bed creaked, the comforter had you sinking into it. You looked otherworldly, angelic, he wanted to kiss you gently. He grabbed your ankle again, kissed where the anklet  was, and rubbed his big hands down your thighs. He stopped right when he’d reach the peak of your inner thigh, just as your breath would hitch when he’d graze a sensitive area before he drew back just to do it again.

 “How was work, sweet girl?” He asked, you took your time to answer. Reveling in the sensation of his massage again, so happy that he was working your tension away.

 “Lots of kids, lots of papers, lots of crayon masterpieces. It was a good, but long day.” You smiled fondly, thinking of your own elementary students. You’d been teaching as long as he had, at a public school close to your home. You enjoyed the shorter hours, and it was surprisingly active. “Parent-teacher night is this week, I’ve been preparing for it.” You explained, reaching out to rub his arms. Your touch burned him, he really wanted more. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out, he was thankful that he didn’t cum in his pants earlier. Although it was a close call. “You?” Your gaze found his, a soft smile spread across your features.

 He leaned in to kiss you, flattening your legs against your sides. You didn’t know you were that flexible as he bent them back to hold your bottom half a little more raised. You moaned, tangling your hands in his hair, you’d missed this feeling during the short break. Even if it’d only been a few minutes. He pulled back, “Boring, my kids are great though.” You hummed, petting his head while he marked up your neck. His biting and licking tickled and tingled, you wrapped your legs high on his back.

 “Satoru, touch me.” it was meant to come out as a question, but it was more demanding. You’d never been good at asking for things, which is why he just got you everything you wanted, anything you needed. This would be no different. While he wanted to taste your essence so badly, he didn’t want to leave your mouth. He loved your lips, so he brought his fingers to them. You coated them in a thick layer of spittle, then reached to pull your panties to the side yourself. 

 “Gonna put these in.” He said, starting off with one finger. It was already soaking down there, he didn’t need your spit at all. He was being considerate because you said it’d been a while, but this just further frustrated you.

 “Can I have both,” Your panting against his mouth spurred him on, you gave him short kisses. After a short pause you added, “please?” He obliged, working them inside you. They were long, incredibly so. Was everything about him extreme? You needed to see his aching dick, you were so curious about how big he was underneath those restricting undergarments.

 “So sweet for asking, my sweet girl.” He praised, licking your mouth and then your face again. You moaned out loud, not wanting this to end. You felt like an animal, he was practically caging you in, his body weight heavy but grounding. Your hair was wild spread out on his bed, your skin glistening with the beginnings of perspiration. A gentle flush overtook your complexion. The marks all over your neck would be tomorrow's problem, and he’d get you whatever you needed to cover them up. He just had to leave them, the beautiful pink and purple marks made his heart twitch in sync with his swollen phallus. He caged one muscular arm on the left side of your head, just so he could put more weight on you as his hand worked you harder. You were belting out sweet noises. He needed to hear more. If you moaned, he moaned. Feeling just as much as you were, kissing you and whining like he was buried deep inside already.

 “S-Satoru. M’ gonna.” You scratched at his back, “ah, cum! M’gonna cum!” You cried out, arching as much as you could, he only drilled into you harder. Rocking your body with his, almost like it was his hips making you feel this good. He curled his fingers, searching for that spongy spot he read about. When he found it, your pretty eyes screwed shut and your mouth hung open in that of ecstasy. 

 “You wanna cum, baby?” He asked, leaned back finally to watch you come undone. You were wet, teary eyed, marked up. The bruises were so beautiful. He stuck the fingers that weren’t inside of you, into your open mouth. You didn’t hesitate to eagerly suck them, the vibrations from your constant moaning obscene. “Fuck, I wanna put it in.” You clamped down, and lifted yourself up as you came hard around his thick fingers. His pounding didn’t stop, it was almost too much. “Think I can make ya squirt?”

 “I can’t do that-” you moaned in surprise as he spread your legs apart, so wide it aches. He sat back on his haunches, just so he could do you deeper with his fingers, harder, all while he rubbed your clitoris too. “W-wait, not at the same time. It feels funny.”

 “Fuck yeah, I bet it does. Imma make you squirt.” He grinned, eyes widening as you writhed under him. He was practically glowing. Your tits bounced, he wanted them in his mouth. He couldn’t get enough of this. “Yer pretty, so pretty. My pretty girl.” He leaned down to kiss you again, then kiss your breasts, and finally took a perky nipple into his mouth.

 “Ngh..” you mewled, the gentle rocking from your hips turned frantic. “Gonna cum again, it’s gonna be big. M’ gonna cum all over you.” You babbled, just shy from sobbing when it raked through you again. The bastard had done it, you squirted all over his torso. His eyes were blown wide, a few spurts sprayed his face. His tongue poked out, eager to taste what you gave him.

 “Imma lick it, you cool with that?” He asked, hauling your bottom half up and crinkling your position, you were weightless in his presence, practically a doll for him. You didn’t fight it, moved how he wanted. You nodded.

 “Jus’ a little, wan’ yer dick.” You said, reaching both your hands up to caress his face. He wanted to cry. He was probably already crying. God you were amazing.

 “Love you.” He kissed your knee. “Gonna make you love me.” He kissed the hot nub, the sensitive thing made your whole pussy twitch. It was pretty. “So pretty, so wet. Love you.” He kissed it again, “love you.” He licked it then, taking in whatever juices he could.

 “You- you what?” You asked, covering your face is embarrassment. There were obscene noises coming from below, a wet squelching you had never heard nor experienced before.

 “Love you so bad. Forever, loved you forever. ‘M yers.” His confession against your weeping flower made you clench around nothing, so he plugged it with his tongue.

 “That’s ‘nuff, put it in Satoru.” You pleaded, tugging his head back by the base of his hair and he moaned at that. Your voice was garbled, hoarsely strained from your tense position. Your arousal glittered across his mouth, while drool continued to slip past his puffy rose-tinted lips.

 “Yeah, I’ll put it in.” He placed you down, the strain on your back easing up. You sighed in relief, finally. “Gotta grab a rubber.” You shook your head and stopped him before he could reach into his night stand.

 “Satoru, you love me?” He nodded eagerly, unsure about where you were going with this. “You’re a virgin?” He once again nodded. “Then do me just like this, I trust you. I’ve never felt it before.” His mind blanked, and for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say. Ocean eyes hesitantly searched your own for a joke. Haha, very funny. You were dead serious. “Mean it, wanna feel you all the way. Gimme it all, love you too.” 

  It was hilarious, you’d just broken up with your boyfriend of some months only a few hours prior. Because he demanded raw sex, all so at the end of the day he could get it without even asking. He grabbed his member, the blushing fat tip tapped against your entrance, “I’m gonna fuck the hell outta ya.” He tapped it some more. “Lemme in.~” his sing-song voice eased your nerves, tapping it harder just to mess with you. “‘Scuse me miss, I’ve gotta’ package here for you. Would you mind signin’?” You slapped his torso, frustrated that he was playing with you. He couldn’t take shit seriously. 

 In reality he was freaking out that you loved him back, that he was about to feel your heat with nothing between you both, that this was the first time you’d be having sex without protection. His first time period was going to be with you, wholly and completely.This only caused his metaphorical tail to wag harder. He was trying very hard not to start actively crying. He pushed his tip in, moaning loudly as he sunk in deeper. “Oh shit.” His breathing was heavy, and he tried to keep his eyes open. Tried to paint your steady writhing deep within his memories.

 He held your thigh, bracing himself with his other hand against the creaking dark oak of his headboard. He rocked in further, hissing and moaning as he did so. His pink face further blushed, his eyes watered as the feeling overwhelmed him. A sheen of sweat glistened over his body, and goosebumps broke out. Good thing you came that night already because, “‘M not gonna last long.” He groaned.

 You moaned with him, pushing down on him. It was incredibly wet, incredibly stretched out, and it was the best dick you’d ever felt in your life. You’d not been able to take a big dick fully before, but you’d die before you let Satoru go uncovered and unsatisfied. You’d take it all, you were determined. You pushed your hips down, wanted to feel him in your stomach. Never having been so excited for a dick, never felt the sensations of thick veins. His foreskin added to the sensation, and it was true what all of your sexually adventurous friends told you. Uncut dick was truly the best. And raw on top of it? Never in your life did you think you’d see the day. You moaned endlessly, it was beautiful. His new favorite song, he was half tempted to record it. Actually…

 “Hey, ya mind if I take a video?” He asked, stopping his movements. You stared up at his glowing body, his wide eyes, his pussy drunk expression. You looked over, searching for your phone and handed it to him, then smiled.

 “Whatever you want, sweet boy.” He mushed his pelvis against yours, moaning loudly at your pet name. He didn’t bother recording as he held himself as deep as he could go, and swiveled his hips in place. You were seeing stars. “Oh shit..! Oh fuck!” Your cries were truly music to his ears, you did it! You took it all, you wanted to feel elated and proud of yourself but his cockwas just so good you couldn’t think of anything but the sensation.

 He drew his hips back, just until the very tip was kissing your entrance, lovingly. He opened your phone (the password was his birthday) and turned the camera on. It was focused on where you would meet, and as he recorded, he sunk right back in. A satisfied sigh left both of your mouths, along with your moans in sync. 

 “Jus’ like that.” You whined, your encouragement was enough to make his hips stutter. “You’re so good, the best. Feel so good, fuck baby.” Your words only fueled his fire. He was determined to drill into you until you were creaming all over him. Just this time on his achingly hard penis. Which by the looks of it, as he gazed down at where he was pounding, you were already all milk. Gushing around him, god he couldn’t wait to feel you cum on him. 

 He put the phone down for a second, not turning it off. Instead, he hesitantly went to flip you around. He really wanted to squeeze your plump ass. It was round, fat, he’d always wanted to touch it. “Can I…” you didn’t let him finish his sentence, rather you moved yourself around and arched your back for him. Your plump behind fully on display, your panties making his already fully hard member twitch. He was inside that, and now he gets backshots. He really was God’s favorite. “Fuck.” He aligned himself, pushing in and you hissed at the stretch. The angle had you instantly drooling, your face flattened into his pillow. The feeling was overwhelming, his scent overtook you along with the musk of your activities.  “It’s so slippery, so tight.”

 You were smearing your dark makeup all over his white pillowcase. The sight drove him wild, his hand reached for your phone and focused on where you were connected again. He drew his hips back, just to snap them inwards. It winded you, knocking you further over. He pushed out and back in with the same force again, every so often he’d grind himself flush against you just to kiss your fat lips better and ease up on his rough treatment. You’d be bruised later, which would suck. But you knew he’d take care of you. On a particularly hard thrust, you hit your head into his headboard.

 “Oof!” You exclaimed, not really paying attention to what happened, but acknowledging that it did. You were too engrossed in his swollen dick making sweet love to your dripping pussy.

 “Oh shit.” he stopped his ministrations, and discarded your phone. Not realizing that you’d been making your way up the bed. “I’m sorry, pretty girl.” He turned you around, and rubbed your sore spot. You lazily and stupidly smiled up at him, and shook your head as if to say it’s alright. You didn’t really have a voice anymore, and even if you did, you were too tired to use it. You reached down for him, and aligned him once again. You needed his angry cock, needed it to break you in. Kiss your cervix. Make out with your pussy lips. You loved kissing him in any way you could. With that thought in mind, you made hands to grab his face. And pushed his lips against yours, haggard moans tumbling. He sunk back in, this time he held it there for you to adjust.

 The sun was setting, it cast his room into a more sensual light. He forgot to shut his billowing black curtains, so it was fortunate that his room was in the back and his yard had high privacy fencing. As your skin was dyed in yellow, pink, and red, he held you there. Kissing you languidly, whispering sweet nothings against your exhausted lips. This fucker said he wouldn’t last long. You didn’t sweat the small stuff, and instead wrapped your legs around his waist as he warmed his cock. The heels of your feet dug into him, pulled him flush against you. He did that thing where he swiveled his hips and it had you almost cumming all over him.

 “Oh, Satoru. Yes!” You mewled, suddenly finding your voice, rocking so that his pelvis rubbed your clit. He could tell that you liked it, and needed that extra stimulation. He drew his hips back, tired of taking it slow. He was sure you’d be fine if he picked up the pace, he’d rub your clit as an apology.

 His hips began a rapid, desperate pace. He was panting like a dog, tongue hanging out. Your sweet area was so wet, when he looked down there was a thick white ring covering the base of his shaft. The room was silent, both of you too immersed in the feeling. It was broken by the squelching of your intense love making, and occasional deep moan or heavy intake of breath. His orgasm was quickly approaching, he really didn’t want to finish. Not yet. He felt like he was too quick, he knew he could do better.

 He pushed your thighs flush against the mattress and held himself on his toes so that he could drill in even deeper. Harder. More desperate, more intense. His panting was so loud, and you were beginning to moan again. He reached down to rub your clit, furiously as it stood up just as angry as his cock. It was watery, and as he drove in and out little spurts of your arousal escaped you. You were squirting on him again, albeit to a less degree but it was just as hot. You were close, that much he could tell by the higher pitch of your whines. There was a desperate knit of your brow, and you were squeezing him impossibly tight. Your body was tense, he just needed you to give him what he wanted and he’d follow.

 You opened your mouth, and stuck your tongue out. Begging him to get messy. Mess me up! Mess me up! Mess me up! You chanted in your foggy state, and he drooled in your mouth just like earlier. He leaned down, his hips smacking into you so hard it almost hurt. You stared into his eyes while he spit on you, spit on your mouth, in your mouth, bit your lips and tugged. You wrenched his head back, pulling his hair just to be a little mean. Just to see if he’d let you. Of course he did, and it damn near made him spill inside of you.

 “Ohhhh fuck.” He moaned, his sweat dripped down onto you. Your hands, fisted into his dusty white locks, smashed his head into you. Your mouths and teeth clashed. You bit him, and drew more blood. You slammed his face into you so hard, his nose began to bleed just a little. What a sight it was. It would definitely stain his bedding, but that was hardly a problem to him.

 The crimson painted his expression beautifully, the euphoria so evident that you just had to give him what he wanted. You smeared the blood dripping from his nose, swiped it to the side. Just to mess him up more, and finally as he bruisingly slammed into you with added fervor you let go.

 “Good girl, sweet girl.” You moaned, lifting your hips so he could use you to get off. He pulled you up and down his length as you continued to cum all over him. “Where do ya want it?”

 “Wan inside. Inside me. ‘M on the pill, don’t stop. Don’t pull out. Don’t leave.” You were begging, you were practically insane. Tears streamed down your face, and he finally spilled himself inside of you. His loud moan shook his whole body, he held himself flush against you, mashing his pelvis against your clit again just for more clear liquid to spray out of you. It was sensational, something he’d never felt before. He fucked it into you, his cum still dribbling out of his slit. He came so much, he didn’t think it would stop. As he drilled his load into you, it only further worked him up.

 “Wanna go one more time?”

•

 You were laid on his chest, fast asleep. Exhaustion overtook you after the fourth round, his stamina surprised you, and frankly, it also terrified you. At one point you were sure you were going to die. He gazed down at you, you were cupping his chest with your face pressed against his right pectoral. You were smushed into him, cuddling as much of his muscular chest as you could. There was drool pooling, hair stuck to your forehead and in different directions everywhere else. Your face was flushed and sweaty, his poor dick was waking up at the sight. Was that concerning? Was he some sort of freak? Just as he was about to reach out and smooth your hair, his phone buzzed on the nightstand next to him. It was one of his coworkers, a long time friend of his, he was definitely supposed to be meeting them at that time. He cursed, and answered, trying not to wake you. His quiet voice filled the otherwise silent area.

 “Hello?” He wasn’t trying to whisper but he took extra care not to disturb your much deserved rest.

 “Satoru~ where ya at?” The lilt in his voice echoed outside of Gojo’s phone, the noise from the restaurant the rest of his friends were at could be heard as well. “Everyone else is here, it’s not like you to be late.”

 “Hey man,” he started, you whined as he tried to move away. He was scared they’d wake you, but instead he did when you began to lose his warmth. “Shh, go back to sleep.” He soothed you, your blinking tired eyes tried to focus on him. How long had you been out for? On the other end he could hear his friends murmuring, and he rolled his eyes.

 “Baby, who is it?” You asked, much too close to his phone but his heart eyes only doubled in size. You yawned, and pulled yourself over him. Your naked body warmed him up, only further exciting him. He had to calm down. As you made yourself comfortable on him, and kissed his neck you rested your head there, then he spoke.

 “It’s Suguru, sweet girl.” His low voice eased you, and your eyelids fluttered shut.

 “Tell him I said hi.” And just like that you fell back asleep, with your arms looped around his neck.

 “Oh, she says hi?”

 “She sure does, my girl is just the sweetest isn’t she?” Gojo mused, playing with your cheek as you snoozed on top of him.

 “Is that what you’ve been doing since you left? You were in such a hurry, no one could reach you.” Geto sounded amused, Gojo could practically hear the way he languidly twirled a piece of his silky hair around his finger. There was a pause, and Gojo assumed he took a swig of his drink. “I’ll leave ya to it, then. Bring her along next time, it’s been a while since we’ve all hung out.”

 “Heh, maybe.” Fat chance, he wanted to monopolize as much of your time as he could. The last thing he wanted was your other friends teasing you all night. They said their goodbyes, and Gojo threw his phone to the opposite side of his bed. He couldn’t believe that you were there, in his arms. Probably incredibly sore. His gaze lingered on the marks he left, feeling bad for being so rough with you. His teeth were clearly put to use that night.

 He again maneuvered himself from under you. You didn’t stir that time, instead you cuddled the fluffy pillow he replaced his body with. Maybe he should draw a bath for you. He quietly padded out of his room, thankful for the carpet masking his footsteps. He entered his bathroom, you’d already had some toiletries there. For when you’d stay the night. His mind raced, were you staying over? Were you guys official? Did he royally screw up a lifelong friendship because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants? The water drew, the bubbles rose. A sweet aroma filled the bathroom, he hoped he could make it up to you. He grimaced the more he thought about all the marks he had left on you. 

 There was movement behind him as the bubbles continued to rise, you'd woken up and set out of the room to find him. You sleepily leaned yourself against the doorway, his blue sweater from earlier hung off of your shoulders. He felt something twitch, below his belt, the marks all over you turning him on rather than making him feel bad. It was something about the sight of you in his clothes. He rose to his feet, and wiped his hand on a towel that hung from a bar next to his bathtub.

 “Hey, sweetheart. How ya feelin’?” He asked, padding his way towards you, he wanted to touch you. He held your shoulders, and squeezed them affectionately.

 “Where’s the ice cream?” You yawned and rubbed your eyes, the raspiness in your voice made his heart clench. He walked you over to the bath, and encouraged you to get in. In your half awake state you complied very easily, not caring for the shedding of your clothes and instead you soaked in the warmth of the water. It eased your sore muscles, and you sighed in contentment when you were fully seated.

 “Bath first, ‘kay?” You nodded, and reached out for him. You wanted him close, he knew you were needy but he was hardly on the romantic receiving end. You cuddled sure, watched movies, hugged, danced. But these more intimate moments were completely new.

 “C’mere, miss you.” You yawned again, slipping further into the bath. The suds overtook you, and when he finally slipped in himself, there was hardly any room to move around. You settled into his lap, leaning against him and let him do the work. He worked some shampoo into your hair, rinsed it himself. Lathered your body and scrubbed. You’d both showered prior to meeting up, so soaking in the bath after working up a sweat felt amazing. You felt a little dirty, knowing whatever you’d done was being washed away. He was taking such good care of you, you could almost ignore the growing problem under you.

 Almost.

 You shifted, your hazy eyes finally beginning to lose the fog. Your wet lashes blinked up at him, his own eyes widened as you brought him into a sweet kiss. It lacked heat, but curried so much affection. It was lazy, you lapped at his bottom lip just because you felt like it.

 “Love you.” You repeated, was this what it was like to be on the receiving end of your adoration? He tried to rack his brain, tried to find any indication that you’d felt like this about him in the past. Sure you’d looked at him a little too long, held his gaze when you were alone. Your physical affection sometimes felt just a little too intimate. 

 You’d invited him over a while back, short shorts resting at just above the bottom of your ass. Tank top low, lacy black bra peaked out just a bit. He’d kept his hands inside of his pockets, patting himself on the back for wearing thick jeans and an oversized hoodie. He felt the air, it was different, but he couldn’t tell if you were making a move on him. Your sweet smile as you rushed him into your apartment, and practically threw him onto the black futon style couch just to plop yourself over him. You’d whined about your day, snuggled his neck. 

 On other occasions you’d asked to dance with him, he was the only one you’d ever invite out to a goth club. He nursed your drink when you were away, kept away any potential problems. You’d squeeze his hands when you’d finally started to dance with him, your body swayed with him so sensually. One night, your arms moved in the air, your hips swished in tune with Depeche Mode. You were in very tall, thigh high Demonia’s. The little black skirt, it looked like a tulip, its sheer layers swayed with your every movement. Your tight black split hem top properly displayed a dangling belly ring. It was mesmerizing, the drinks, the music, the way you swayed, and holy shit you’d kissed that night too, he was just too drunk to remember. Outside of the dingey bathroom, it was too heated for friends and then it was lost in his memories. Were you in some sort of situationship that whole time, and he didn’t realize it?

 “Satoru?” Your sweet, hesitant voice pulled him from his thoughts and he lazily smiled down at you. The water swished as you moved to straddle him. “Wanna fool around a lil’ more?” He was going to ravage you, as much as you wanted, whenever you wanted.

 “Anythin’ for you, my sweet girl.” He kissed you then, your poor lips ached in protest. But you just had to feel him again, just had to remind yourself that he was yours. No one had treated you with such care, brushed your hair out of your face, soothed your aches and pains. He’d treated you so well for so long, would now be a good time to act a little spoiled? You’d been good all this time.

 “Put it in, can’t wait.” You begged, the water swished with your desperation, and splashed out the sides. You reached below, eager to ease him inside. He prodded your entrance once again, pushing in and the stretch stung all over again. You’d think your pussy would be numb, but she was even more desperate than you were. She sucked him up greedily, allowed him full access all the way to the back. Your sensitive cervix missed him, and kissed him eagerly. “Ngh.” Your shaky moan was snatched from your lips, because he held you close then. Wrapped his big arms around you and pulled you flush against him. The smooth expanse of his skin blinded you, his deep eyes hypnotized you. He sucked on your tongue, and rocked upward.

 The water splashed with each move of your hips, a constant push and pull from the both of you. You wrapped your hands around his head, nipped his ear, nibbled his jaw. He was in a bad state already, and god was he so loud.

 “Ah, shit. Mmm, fuck. Yes. Take it.” He never fully left your heat, and the longer you both danced in the water, the colder it got. A shiver raked through you, and you tried to pull him closer. You hoped for more warmth, but the further he slipped into you the colder your body felt inside of the water. He abruptly stood when he noticed the puffy bumps start to line your skin, careful to not drop you chuckling a small, “Upsy-Daisy.” 

 The gruff movement scared you, and you instantly held him tighter so as to not fall. “Bed?” He asked, walking while still sheathed inside of you. You couldn’t respond, the air was thoroughly forced from your lungs with each step he took. It felt too amazing, he had to hold you against the outside wall and go at it a little harder. Your nails scraped his back as he held you against the cold wall just outside of his room, drilling into you with so much force that it knocked your head into it. What was wrong with him, he just kept hurting you. “Aweee, I’m sorry pretty girl, lemme move.” You cut him off with a desperate shake, and pulled him in for a big kiss. You swallowed his noises just like he did to you, drank his saliva, and god did you bite his lips again. He loved that, loved how good it hurt.

 “Stay right here, fuck me proper!” You begged, and he hoisted you up to better support you. You bounced down to the best of your abilities, even as exhaustion showed clearly in your muscles and on your face. You couldn’t stop, the feeling of his velvet rod almost fully leaving just to forcefully enter you again was too good. Your lips were fluttering around him, your arousal dripped down his hefty balls and onto the floor below you. The heavy smack of your ass coming down and his balls meeting it sounded so lovely. Why hadn’t you done this before? 

 “Yer gonna drive me insane, love you so much.” A picture frame, one of you at his college graduation hugging his side so tenderly, shook as you were pounded against the wall. You glanced down, just to watch him disappear inside of you. You felt tears spring up and blur your vision.

 “Am I yours?” You asked, and he frantically nodded. “You’re mine?” You nodded even harder, moaning loudly when you squeezed around him. He was on the verge of dumping his load inside of you, there was no way he was going to be able to pull out.

 “Can I cum inside again?”

 “As much as you want.” He finally began to move you from the wall, thankful he had his own place because neither of you could stop the growing volume and raised pitch in your voices. He laid you on the edge of his big bed, you sunk into his blankets again. Even more beautiful now that you were dyed in his color. Your legs rested on his shoulders, that precious anklet jingled with his rough movements. The necklace you gave him dangled above you, and you’d tug on it every now and again. Your toes curled, you were so close. As you felt the dam break, his own orgasm washed over himself. He stilled inside, hot cum painting your insides once again. “My pussy missed you.” You panted into his blanket with your face hung to the side, and he came again instantly. It dribbled outside of you, slipped down your ass, pooled onto his bed. 

 “Missed your pussy baby.” He leaned down to kiss you, one more time before pulling out. His hot dick popped out of you and hung heavily as it weeped with further release. He pushed in again, just to tease you and plug whatever he could back inside. Your pussy was red, raw, sore, but it was delicious and despite not having any dinner you were so full. You laid there, the bath you’d taken now meaningless. But it didn’t matter, not when he sprang to get a warm wet towel and wipe you clean. He kissed the marks he left, patted your hair. He presented you with an ice cold water, and you accepted gratefully.

 “Do you really love me, or just my pussy?” You asked, after what felt like an eternity of silence. You were just dying to know if it was all pillow talk, and if it was you couldn’t even be that mad about it because it was the best you’d ever received. He rolled his eyes, and pinched your reddened cheeks.

 “I’m not lettin’ you go. I’m like, super crazy ‘bout ya’.” He threw another shirt your way, so you could just lay in bed comfortably. You looked around finally as your head cleared up. Memories of you spread throughout his room  that were more glaringly obvious than before. He had a picture of only you framed on his nightstand for Christ’s sake. You were smiling widely at a fish you’d caught on your first camping trip together. 

 “You promise?” You were timid, more scared than he’d ever seen you. “I don’t wanna lose you Satoru.”

 “You won’t.” He sounded so firm, so sure. 

 As the minutes ticked by, the sun fully set now and the gentle sound of crickets outside of his open window filled the room, you rolled onto your side to face him. You were pouting, and his wolfish grin spread wide across his face.

 “So,” you started, “about that movie and ice cream.”

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[icarus-last-fall]

Wolfstar fic recs

I made a poll a while (r: an eternity) ago and you voted for a wolfstar rec list so here it is!

A few notes before we start: all the fics are on ao3, most of them are one-shots and there's no smut

Any fic written by @engie-ivy (ao3 here)

Yes I am recommending a writer. The other recs will be individual fics but it was either that or listing all of their fics.

Literally the best wolfstar writer believe me

(ik I'm not giving you lots of information but just check out their ao3 it takes two seconds and I promise it'll be worth it)

Just like best friends do by MsAlexWP (3k words)

Summary: After uselessly pining for three years Remus decides, finally, to get Sirius out of his system by shagging as many blokes as he can. It doesn’t go quite as planned.

Ugh I love it. The pining, the jealousy... I don't have a lot to say about it but trust me it is good.

Hoax (wolfstar's version) by mhiiiaka (6k)

Summary:

"I never said that!" 

"You didn't have to, because you never said anything else either!" 

***

Or, in which Remus Lupin doesn't believe Sirius Black actually wants him, even though they've been snogging each other senseless for months. And now, there's someone else interested in Remus and Sirius can't bring himself to use his fucking words.

Honestly who doesn't love a little 'didn't know they were dating'.

The angst in this is Pure. Fucking. Gold. It makes me scream every time I reread it (which happens often)

Remus Lupin is the number one James Potter cosplayer by fishflipperfan (8k)

Summary:

“I’m Sirius. You are James, aren’t you?”

Remus, still slackjawed and speechless, managed a tentative nod of affirmation.

He was fucked.

OR

James has promised to be in two places at once and needs somebody to cover for his blind date. Remus is a pushover. His one task is to get rejected. What he doesn't anticipate is meeting Sirius Black-- beautiful, incomprehensible, and impossible to say no to.

Based on the youth of may premise but without any of the sadness and considerably more dumb.

I don't read a lot of first meetings but this one is so so good. It's also really funny!

That's different, then by my_castlescrumbling (2k)

Summary: "The day that James Potter told Sirius Black he no longer fancied Lily Evans, the entire world changed." - Sirius thinks James likes Remus...how long will it take him to figure out that's NOT true? Just a fun, sweet, misunderstanding with a happy ending, folks. Wolfstar and Jegulus for the soul.

Mainly Sirius and James friendship + Sirius being an idiot. I laughed so much reading it.

Is this a prank? by mhiiiaka (6k)

Summary:

“But you’d also be that gorgeous professor that even the janitors had the hots for,” Sirius said softly with a smirk. He knew it wasn’t very wise to ruin the moment like that, he knew Remus would probably stand up and run away.

Which is why he was so taken aback when Remus slipped on a sly smile and leaned in too. They were close, Sirius could count every freckle on his delicate skin. Christ, he was beautiful.

“Yeah? I didn’t know you wanted to pursue a career as a janitor, Sirius.”

***

Or, in which Sirius Black decides to flirt his way into Remus' heart, but he didn't expect Remus to flirt back.

Remus flirting back and Sirius having a full-on crisis is one of the greatest tropes and mhiiiaka writes it so well.

The Truth in the Dare by Marie_Thomas (5k)

Summary: Remus has no idea why the Gryffindors always dare Sirius to snog him every time James, Peter and Sirius play Truth or Dare. Yet for some reason, he can't bring himself to complain about it.

Really cute fic and I love the plot idea.

The Art of Gift Giving by my_castlescrumbling (600 words)

Summary: But the next night, when he said to Sirius, heart beating nervously, "My quill broke yesterday. My favorite one," he was half-hoping not to find the stunning, gold-plated quill he saw on his pillow the next day. Because he knew what that meant. - Remus is getting gifts from a secret admirer, and he's pretty sure he knows who it is.

Really short but so sweet I love it.

Side note: @my-castles-crumbling writes a lot of microfics on Tumblr and they're all amazing

Chef was cute, would eat here again by her_smile_forges_galaxies (5k)

Summary: Sirius is used to critics visiting his restaurant, but when the most beautiful man he's ever seen sits down, he's faced with what should be an impossible decision... the hope of a date, or a good review?

Really, it isn't even a question.

I said I didn't do first meetings, yet here's another one... I honestly don't know what to say except that this fic is amazing.

With my corkscrew hair by weeb_grass (6k)

Summary:

“It's nothing! I just— Well, what James said earlier, y'know, about not taking the potion because it wouldn't work on him. He wasn't exactly lying. If he truly loves me—” here, her cheeks begin to fill again, “—then the potion really wouldn't work on him.”

Or:

Does amortentia work if you're already in love with the potion's brewer?

I always love an amortentia fic but the originality of the plot makes it even better.

And that's it! Hope you like those fics :)

I'll probably make another poll to ask which ship I should do next but don't hesitate to request a rec list!

[sanji-piss-hell]

ZOSAN FIC REC

Here is some of my fave zosan fics. Some of these I read years ago and so I don't fully remember what theyre about but they we're good enough that I still have strong emotional attachments when I see the name. Most of them are things I've read recently. Literally all I do all day is homework and have an app tts fanfics to me like an audio book so there's quite a few of recs here. I am not the best at summeries but just trust me bro these are GOOD SHIT. I only provide the best. What I consider a good fic: - Takes place in the one piece world (I don't like modern aus) - Characters stay in character or if they do have changes from their canon portrayal there is a justifiable reason from within the story. - Solid story telling and arcs (even the shorter fics) - The Zosan dynamic is kept mostly how it is in canon they fight and bicker. (I know some like when they're soft with eachother like a loving married couple. You won't find much of that here) - Some of these have pervy sanji, que nose bleeds and ogling. With that out of the way here's the list!! Now to my fave zosan fic of all time and ironically enough the only fic taking place in a modern setting: Life is fine series. TW: Drug abuse, heavy angst, depression I have reread this twice and forced a friend to read it too. It is so amazing not just for the zosan but for the genuinely good story telling. You follow zoro reeling from his sudden loss of relationship with Sanji and falling down a...Well uh, path. It's fucked it's dark it's depressing and its fucking riviting. Alot of the time reading this you're just like WHY DID SANJI LEAVE HIM WHAT IS GOING ON??? Honestly I need to reread this again. Onto softer fics to heal your heart after that one: Honor in limits, his strengths in weakness By Hawksbrood

“Fucking hell cook, what happened to you?” Zoro demanded, voice low so as not to disturb the others sleeping nearby.

Sanji rolled his eyes. “What do you think? I told you we got in a fight earlier.”

“Not that, your fucking feet!”

The cook snarled at that, crushing his cigarette in his teeth. “What the fuck do you mean, my feet? They’re just feet!”

Zoro’s eyes widened, looking at the bruised flesh before him. This wasn’t that.

This was just so good and cute. I appreciate watching zoro appreciate sanji. They take care of eachother but in a way where theyre both still them yeah know? I appreciate how sanji is written letting himself be vulnerable but understanding that he's always gonna be crass cause it's just a part of who he is.

come on, come on (turn a little faster) by donutsandcoffee

The one where everyone thinks they’re dating, Sanji is oblivious, and Zoro takes everything in stride.

Sometimes a love story can go in reverse.

I reread this one recently and it's just soft and sweet. I like watching sanji flounder around. The gay panic is great.

a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew. I read this like 3 years ago and I dont remember much but I do remember loving it!

Part Timer By 8ball Sanji really, really doesn't want to give Zoro a job at his restaurant. Zoro doesn't really even want to work there in the first place, but, well, there’s this thing with Sanji, and this thing with feelings and the whole thing is pretty damn stupid all together. Zeff just wants grandkids. He’s too old for this bullshit anyways. I am sure everyone knows 8ball very well they're like zosan famous but still just in case this one is really fucking good. Also read this 3 years ago so I don't remember much but I consider this a zosan classic. Onto the rated R Grand Buffet by asyndese Drunk fic!! If there was one thing Zoro knew, it was that you could always trust Sanji's inclinations to do a beautiful 180 as soon as he was drunk. Luckily, Zoro was more than equipped to handle it. I spent. 30 minutes. Trying to find this fic again because that's how much I loved it. It altered my brain chemistry. Sanji getting a nose job during sex is just. aaaaaaaaa. Read it. Cannot suggest enough. Horrors not yet known by Trixree

Sanji doesn’t know how he didn’t notice it before, is the thing. Of all the times he has seen Zoro shirtless (in battle, mostly) he just… never noticed. The problem is, once he has noticed, Sanji can’t seem to stop noticing. And neither can anyone else.

In which Zoro has a nipple piercing and Sanji has a Problem.

I recently reread this and the first time I read it I didn't really get the whole gender sanji shit. Now though???? Yeah another fic that rewired my brain chemistry. This fic opened doors for me it exposed me to a new world. Also sanji gay panic is in here and I live for that. It can be pretty raunchy (love that too) Three rounds with a tiger by KobochaKitsune Another drunk Fic!! also in modern times damn maybe I lied sdklfj

Liquid courage, drunken decisions, terrible euphemisms, and texts from last night, or: how to think entirely with the booze (and your dick) for once.

Or: By the time Sanji got to the party, everyone was already drunk.

I read this 3 years ago (theres a trend going on can you tell??) It also rewired my brain chemistry (from this point on just assume all of these nsfw fics rewired my brain chemistry each of these opened doors for me. This one opened the doors to bottom zoro.) Fucking 20k words of just pwp. I dont even know how the author did that bro like damn. Nature of things by stark_black Tw: Sex work and prostitutes When the Sunny docks, Sanji and Zoro sometimes seek out relief in some not so savory places. After crossing paths in town on more than one occasion, the two find they have a lot more in common than they would like to admit. I hunted this down for like fucking hours a couple of weeks ago because it was that good. Stark_Black has a fucking library worth of zosan fics this one is a classic to me. But if you want more content check out his other fics I think they have like over 100 zosan its kinda insane. Coregasm by Yakarmi

Sanji discovers that sometimes, Zoro has orgasms while he lifts.

-----

“You…” Sanji trailed off, gaze turning down as he licked his lips. Pink tongue darting out nervously. “You orgasm when you exercise?”

Zoro clenched his jaw. Shrugged. Trying to act nonchalant.

“Sometimes.”

Sanji’s eye went wide, and like his mouth had suddenly been liberated from his brain, blurted out, “that’s so fucking hot,” before clamping his hands over his mouth. His cigarette fell from his mouth, bouncing soundlessly on the ground.

Bro bestie, the way this put me on nose bleed Sanji. Perv sanji. I need that gif thats like mmm cause man this is good. Ending this fic rec with a BANG we have

Contingencies and Congruencies by PeaceSignDisasterBi

Somewhere between finishing the bottles of alcohol and mugs of beer, the crew comes together to create a contingency plan for something that may-or-may-not-happen during their time on the Grand Line and beyond. Usopp thinks it's more likely than bumping into zombies, Zoro wants to stay out of this, Sanji is just going with the flow, and Nami may or may not keep things legally binding and above board with consistent consensual acquiescence. Robin finds it all amusing.

The damn chart stays in the locked drawer in her desk, split into three neat categories: Devil Fruit Powers, Science, and Magic. Each represents whatever they're hit with but also categorizes the amount of self-control the person has during.

AKA: 5 times Zoro and Sanji had to help each other as Consensual Helpers of Dubious Consent + 1 Time There Was Nothing Dubious At All

Ok this is 152k long its pretty insane. It regoes over the arcs so throughly so carefully that I literally had to question my memory because I havent experienced alot of these arcs in a while (it's one of the reasons im rewatching one piece). I will say despite how amazing and well written this is I had a hard time comprehending sometimes. now I was sick at the time of reading this so that might be why but sometimes the way things were phrased felt like yoda talking. I think it's just me though. I'm not used to big words :( And thats a wrap!! These arent even all the ones I wanted to include I have at least 20 more off the top of my head but I'll save that for another day. I hope you find joy in these fics Like i did I'll def do another one of these as cause I didnt even touch my sanji centric fics or germa 66 or just in general the best sanji fanfic writers. (Mentioned some of them like 8ball, thousand sunny and donuts and coffee.) Best of luck to yall and let me know what you think!

[dreamingunderacloudysky]

What's your opinion on all the Jimmy enjoyers and fetish content out there?

Whew, ok, I felt like I was going to get asked this, but not THIS soon.

Ok. I'm totally fine with people liking Jimmy, he's a well written character with a complex array of issues and instincts which drive him forward as well as mysterious background for what really drove him to be in that crew. Most Jimmy enjoyers I meet are actually pretty chill for the most part. Do I like him?

Well...

Not exactly. I do believe in creative choice. People can write whatever they want, even if a lot of it I find disturbing. Jimmy's character made me actually feel upset at multiple points in the game, but thays a sign of just how humanly fucked up he's depicted. He's so human and does messed up but very human things, which makes it all feel real on an unsettling level.

The people I generally do not interact with are the people who FETISHIZE Jimmy's assault of Anya and say stuff like "She probably liked it ngl" like actually that is super gross and I really wasn't planning on bringing it up here, but years ago I myself was taken advantage of by another woman so for my case yes I cannot fathom the type of stuff people say or write with Jimmy. If someone is attracted to Jimmy, stop telling them to see a therapist (I mean, I think we all should after having played this game good lord the game messed with my psyche) while I dont agree with it and I don't understand how people can be attracted to him, it's also not my brain. They may be cringe, but they are free unless they're saying the type of comments I said earlier because they actually get off the internet.

This Fandom is very weird, and I'll admit me writing NSFW for it loops me in somewhat in a taboo spot, but I'm sorry Wrong Organ you made well written kissable polygons.

Before I get asked this next, WHY do I not write for Jimmy?

Just reread what I said earlier on how his involvement in the story, along with how Anya's played in part which hurt me in my soul and you'll understand that I personally cannot write for him without stirring up some unpleasant concepts of my past and just the general overall summary of his actions.

I'll be honest, I really don't want to write Curly either. As someone who worked in a leadership role for 8 years and take classes for my job to continue to do that Curly was a terrible leader 🙃 and made me want to bite chunks off of my keyboard like a Kit Kat. He is barely the lesser evil of Curly, and as a famous statement, I firmly believe

"Bad things happen when good people stand by"

But I will write Curly because why the hell not! I'm personally not attracted to him (first of all I'm a girl kisser, second of all we didn't see get to see him oerate pre-crash aside from playing AS him) But he's a good way to flex my writing muscles and give the masses some of my take on Curly. All the characters would be pretty fun to write for

So Jimmy enjoyers, sorry that you get harassed, but the weirdos, including the non Jimmy, fans need to keep their weird ass comments off of normal posts and not justify SA.

While I'm on this of yall want me to point out some stuff I don't like that is done with the character I'll leave a small list.

Jimmy fans... do i need to elaborate on what the weird ones do?

Some people make post SA Anya like she's a non functional human being and incapable of living and just an actual extremely dependent ball of constant sadness. Don't let her SA define her character just how SA victims aren't defined by their perpetrators. Don't romanticize abuse period

Daisuke I hear people complain about him being infantalized, but you have a bubbly character in any Fandom and they're going to babygirlify them I'm sorry it sucks for his fans but I hope I'm not writing hi that way he's just a silly man in my writing.

Swansea... I don't have much to say on it, a little strange to me that people hunger for a married man, but he's fictional so while I don't feel comfortable writing him romantically Swansea lovers can pop off hope you homies have fun!

Curly. Just the people saying he did nothing wrong. That's just cringe and honestly these are all strange pixel crushes we shouldn't be having but have them anyways so pop off to you homies too.

If anyone has comments or disagreements that's totally valid, feel free to leave them in the comments and I promise I won't bite if you don't. ☁️☁️☁️☁️

[discordantwords]

Thank you so much for the tag @therealsaintscully!

How many works do you have on ao3? 48! 30 for BBC Sherlock and 18 for The X-Files.

What’s your total word count? 924,659 (whoa, that's a lot of words)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea White Knight Incidents with Dogs, Curious and Otherwise Another Auld Lang Syne The Dead Detective

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I try to. I'm not always as on top of it as I intend to be. I find comments tremendously meaningful and I at times get emotional while reading them. They are important to me. I reread them often.

I often fear that I'm a poor conversationalist and overthink my responses, which can tend to freeze me up.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Most of my long fics have happy endings.

The Pillar upon Which England Rests is my ode to Mrs. Hudson. As she and John are grieving Sherlock's fall, she tells John all about how she and Sherlock first met. I don't think of it as a particularly sad story, but I suppose that ending counts as angsty, as Sherlock's eventual return is not addressed in the story.

I guess the shorter, more horrorish ones have angsty (or at least uneasy) endings.

Nothing Happened in Belarus has S4 Sherlock, in the throes of his breakdown, somehow briefly traveling through time and encountering S1 John, who cares for him. It's a brief reprieve for him in the midst of a personal hell, but there is no resolution. When he returns to his own time, he is still forced to face what's coming next.

At the end of Leaves, Sherlock and John have either successfully defeated the bloodthirsty plant that has invaded their flat, or they're being digested by it. I leave that decision up to the reader. :)

The Web has Sherlock returned from his time away and reunited with John, but there is a part of him that will always remain haunted and deeply paranoid.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Most of them, heh. I like to leave my characters in a good place after putting them through hell.

I guess I'd have to say White Knight? I still get a little giddy when I think about the way Sherlock proposes at the end of that one, and how happy and free they both are after the crushing weight of misunderstandings and grief has fallen away.

Whirlwind has a pretty joyful ending, too.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't written a crossover, but I have done a few fusion fics. The Dead Detective is a fusion with Jumpin' Jack Flash. Whirlwind is a fusion with Twister. Out There is a fusion with The X-Files.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really. Most responses on AO3 have been warm and supportive. I have gotten a few unnecessarily vicious comments on some of my ficlets here on Tumblr, but I do my best to ignore those.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Most of my smut tends to be of the R-rated variety, because I'm frankly just not very good at writing it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, sort of, but I don't believe it was done maliciously and I don't intend to call attention to it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I'm open to the idea, but I honestly don't know if I'm cut out for it. I think my tendency to wing things and my utter lack of a consistent writing schedule would drive a potential writing partner mad.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Mulder and Scully were my first true fandom love. I love Sherlock and John equally as much, if not more.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

There are quite a few WIPs on my hard drive that may never see the light of day. As far as posted fics, my Sherlock/Knight Rider fusion probably won't be finished.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I'm pretty good at capturing character mannerisms, and writing from a perspective that lets the reader feel what the POV character is feeling.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not all that impressed with my smut writing abilities.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I steer clear of it. Although Google translate can be helpful, IMO there are too many opportunities to make embarrassing or inadvertently offensive mistakes.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I really enjoy the character dynamics between Hannibal/Will in Hannibal and Lestat/Louis in Interview with the Vampire. I think I'd have a harder time getting into their heads than I do with Sherlock and John, so I'll probably just continue admiring them from afar for now.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a hard question! I'm probably proudest of the work that went into Out There, but I have a huge soft spot for The Pillar upon Which England Rests and (Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea.

If anyone out there would like to share your thoughts on some of the things you've written, please do! I'll also tag @thetimemoves @arwamachine @raina-at @vulpesmellifera @iheardyou @totallysilvergirl @khorazir

[chuuyasheaven]

Hi im back☺️☺️ can i request prompt 2 with (who would have guessed) chuuya? I just couldnt resist after that last smut like HOLY shit i reread it every morning😭 Take your time and remember to stay hydrated💛

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ; 02 : Brat taming

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ; Chuuya has been pretty busy lately, and his needy girlfriend is being bratty abt it. This leads up to him taking you against the table. <3

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs; mean!dom!Chuuya, sub!bratty!fem!reader, fucking on a table with Chuuya, degrading kink (f!recieving), ooc!Chuuya (ig), slight spanking, kinda fingering, petnames (such as slut, baby, whore, etc.), porn without *any* plot, basically me in heat /j, etc.

ɴᴏᴛᴇs; This is a draft bcs i can. So take this while i have to take a break, i just suffer from major daddy issues right now lol. Also, this was from my new year event, enjoy! ( 5-6 months later; felt horny for Chuuya so take this while i prepare myself for a exam!!)

“Such a fuckin' brat for attention, huh?”, Chuuya tsked at you.

He had such a stressful day, just to come home to you whining and annoying him further.

Chuuya just needed to somehow ‘relief’ all that stress!

“I’m s-sorry, Chuuya!”, you said just for him to spank you.

“I don’t wanna hear it.”, he hissed.

You were being spanked on the table, bent over of course, while still having your panties on.

All his spanks just kept you wet for him.

Even though you still had some undergarments on, you could tell there was gonna be a slight hand print.

“Now, bend over for me, just where i can see you perfectly, understood?”, Chuuya commanded you, with a slightly strict tone.

Not wanting to piss him off more, you just bent over as far as you could, just how he wanted.

Waiting for his next move, you felt him rip off your panties.

But those were your favorite!

“C-Chuuya! Those were my favorites?!”, you felt his hand wrap around your neck from behind, it wasn’t too harsh, but it wasn’t very soft too.

“I can always buy you more. Now, do you want me to fuck you or do you want me to just leave you like that?”, he whispered into your ear, sneakily having his gloveless fingers tease your wet pussy.

This made you even more desperate for him, even wetting his fingers with more of your slick.

“You don’t want me to leave you so wet for me, do you? It would be such a shame, y’know?”, now he was just teasing you. For what even? To beg? As if!

“N-no..p-please, fuck me, Chuuya.. I-i need you!”, he felt a small smirk creep up his lips.

“What was that? Was it my slut begging for me to fuck her brains out?”, Chuuya never disappointed with his dirty talk, did he?

He knows what he’s doing, he just wants to frustrate you!

But it’s fair, afterall all your whining got you here..

“J-just do it already..”, you weakly said, starting to grow impatient.

“I know you can beg more nicely than that, baby.”, Chuuya denied you even further.

“C-come on, p-please, Chuuya..stop t-teasing me, I’m r-really sorry!”, you could feel yourself on the edge of desperate tears.

“Awe, my poor princess is about to cry, isn’t she? Well, if you want it, who am i to deny you?”, finally, he was gonna take you!

“But since you’ve been such a brat, i won’t go easy on you..”, i don’t care, just fuck me like the whore i am!

You heard Chuuya take off his belt, feeling relief washing over you.

When he removed his boxers, you felt him entering. Since he’s not that cruel, he’s gonna wait a few seconds before pushing in completely.

It was finally time, he started to thrust into you, just like he said before, not particularly soft..

His pace was fast and rough, which was amazing, but kinda overwhelming, but you asked for this.

“Consider me nice enough to even fuck you like this..”, Chuuya said while ruthlessly fucking you into oblivion.

“F-fuck! F-feels so good..”, you chanted, obviously already cock drunk.

“You’re already so drunk of my cock, aren’t you? Fucking slut.”, yes, it was mean, but it was just the truth!

Honestly, nobody should blame you.

You slowly felt your high approach, feeling your knot build up.

You felt Chuuya’s hitched breathing and whimpers against your ears, while he was holding your tits.

“Fuck, ‘m so fuckin’ close..”, you were getting pretty close too.

“Tell me, who’s fuckin’ slut are you?”, you better still have the ability to answer this question.

“Y-yours! I’m your slut, only you fuck me like this..”, you answered, slurring these words.

“Damn right, nobody can slut you out like i can, understood?”

Something just snapped guys.

[chelseeebe]

do you think i have forgotten (about you)

a part two to come pick me up.

summary: eddie finds himself out of jail and right back on your doorstep. running from his past while trying desperately to fix the mess he had left you in only leads to complicated situations.

a/n: so this is actually not what i had expected to post lmfao but similar to part one i reread this in my drafts and literally fell in love.. like it needed to be posted.

18+. smut, smoking, drug and alcohol use. mentions of jail and creepy therapists. angst.. sweet sweet angst. as before, this is stevexreader however this part is way more about eddie and r.

you can’t lie. the last few months had been pretty tough, on both you and steve. through no fault of his own though.

you were just.. unwell. perhaps you always had been and the process of seeing someone you regarded as your best friend beat the shit out of someone and subsequently be jailed for it had brought all those feelings up.

‎♡‧₊˚

not to mention the emotional toll of him dipping in and out of your life and the countless other reckless shit he’d pulled you into before.

currently things were stable, yours and steve’s relationship was good, you were going to work and succeeding in being mostly sober. a little help from a short stay in a psychiatric ward and some nice new pills had you feeling semi-okay again.

it had started not long after eddie was sentenced, you’d sat in the docks of the courtroom and watched the judge bang the gavel down as he was sentenced to twenty four months. it stung knowing that he’d gotten himself in this position because you’d dared to kiss your boyfriend in front of him.

nevertheless, a few short weeks after the horrid court date you’d suffered a complete breakdown at a party. throwing anything you could get your hands on, sobbing hysterically as steve tried his best to calm you. right in front of everybody, their gawping eyes prying as you were escorted out by the police who had then issued a caution and had recommended to the judge that you needed some sort of mental health intervention.

at the time it was humiliating. the worst part being that it felt like everyone around you was walking on eggshells, trying to coddle you and tell you that it was all okay. you’d known it wasn’t. maybe it could be, but for right then, no.

coming back into the apartment and the real world had been quite frankly, awful. missing the safety of the ward, you couldn’t hurt anyone in there.

steve had been your saviour through it all. making sure he was there for every visit with a great big smile on his. he was gentle, giving you your meds, making sure you were eating and he’d even found you a job, helping you apply, christ he’d even ran through a mock interview with you, putting on a deep voice and asking you silly questions.

and do you know what?

eventually things got back to some sense of normality. braving your first gathering, trembling as you walked through the door, terrified that everyone would hate you only to find that all anyone had really cared about was making sure you were well again.

and that lands us here, finally finishing a dragging shift and traipsing home to collapse into bed to wait for steve to get home.

except, nearing the front door you notice it’s cracked open slightly. the door handle looks busted and you’re ninety percent sure that either someone was currently in your apartment or had been in and ransacked it.

you push the door open with one finger, it freaks loudly as it opens slowly, startling the intruder who curses and drops whatever they were holding.

‘you have five seconds to get the fuck out,’ you warn, creeping from behind the door frame nervously.

there’s a figure stood in the middle of the room, back turned to you who very slowly puts his hands in the air, surrendering.

he turns to face you, a shit-eating grin on his face and you finally recognise the cocky face staring back at you.

‘eddie?!’

he breathes a sigh of relief, ‘holy shit i was startin’ to think you’d moved out and i’d just broken into some strangers apartment,’ cackling as his arms outstretch to hug you.

‘what the fuck- what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be in jail!’ in utter disbelief that he was stood before you, debating whether pinching yourself would wake you up from this strange dream.

‘i got out! duh,’ he grins, making his way towards you, arms still outstretched.

‘you.. you got out? what? you’re not supposed to be out for like another year.. i don’t- i’m not understanding,’ carefully wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he pulls you into a hug.

he felt stronger, sturdy as his arms wrap around your waist. the hug lasts for what feels like an eternity until you back to properly examine his face and to once again check that you weren’t hallucinating.

‘i can’t believe you’re actually here.. how are you? i’m sorry i’ve been.. busy,’ trying to recover over the last few months had meant that you’d sorta neglected eddie, his last letter still in the clutter on your desk somewhere.. unanswered.

unfortunately for him, you’d had a few more important things to focus on. like trying not to break down and keep your relationship with steve afloat.

‘i’m good, i’m always good.. what’ve you been up to? i missed your letters,’ it was a simple statement but you’d never truly comprehend just how much receiving anything from you had meant to him, how much it kept him going.

you let go of him fully, motioning for him to take a seat, ‘it’s a super long story..’ sighing as you jam the bursted door shut, steve would have to look at it on his day off.

‘well it’s a good thing i’ve got time,’ collapsing into the cushions, making himself right at home.

-

you and eddie are sat on the couch smoking when the key turns in the door and steve walks in, looking just as exhausted as he did when he left this morning. the tiny shadow of a smile that was on his face is dropped the second he see’s eddie, replaced with a state of pure confusion.

‘what the fuck?’ he exclaims, dropping his bag onto the floor as eddie clambers off of the sofa to greet him.

steve’s face is a picture, eyebrows knitted together as eddie’s hand claps his back, ‘you’re supposed to be in prison?’

eddie pulls back, holding onto steves shoulder’s, ‘and you’re supposed to be happy to see me,’ faux-offended by steve’s confused stature.

‘no.. i am, what? why are you out?’

eddie shrugs him off, coming back to the couch, ‘ehh it’s a long story.. come.. sit, how was work, big boy?’ taking the spliff from your outstretched hand to offer to steve.

steve plonks himself down next to you, placing your legs over his thighs instead of the couch, ‘yeah.. it was alright, i’m sorry- why the fuck are you in my living room and not in federal prison?’ taking the burning joint from eddie’s fingers.

‘i got out,’ eddie offers back, the exact same thing he’d said to you. you had come to the conclusion that his departure from jail had perhaps not been entirely legal but it was way easier to brush it off rather than trying to probe him.

steve narrows his eye’s, obviously also not buying his bullshit but decides instead to smoke whatever had been handed to him, humming as he exhales a thick cloud of smoke.

‘i said that he could stay here.. just for a few days, if that’s okay?’ you ask, looking up at your boyfriend with hopeful eyes.

he pauses, contemplating if harbouring a, presumed, escaped convict was really a great idea, ‘uhh.. yeah i’m sure a few days is fine..’ he didn’t sound so sure himself.

‘thanks man,’ eddie nods, eyeing the door to his old bedroom.

the thing is, when eddie was convicted, his uncle had come to collect most of his stuff, taking it back to hawkins in his van. you’d thought he’d be locked up for at least two years so sending his things back to hawkins was the smartest idea. that meant when you guys moved out, you weren’t left to deal with his mountains of crap.

you catch him looking, feeling a tad guilty that he’d come back to nothing, ‘the bed’s still in there but.. it’s mostly storage now,’ scrunching your nose as you grimace.

‘that’s alright.. anything’s better than prison,’ he jokes, offering a saddened chuckle.

‘yeah.. exactly,’ not that you had much idea what prison was like, but from what eddie had told you, your living room floor would be an improvement.

the three of you spend a few hours right there on the couch, listening to eddie’s tales from jail, entangled with your stories of all the thing he’d missed. steve nudges you at some point, muttering something about bed which you agree with, rushing around to find eddie a spare blanket.

‘you’ll be okay in here?’ you ask, poised in the doorway.

‘yeah it’s great.. thank you,’ he smiles, sitting down on the edge of his old bed, peering around the now mostly empty room.

it felt a little suffocating if he was honest, the sheer amount of memories these blank four walls held. he swore he could hear echoes of your laugh from the times before, remembering the nights where you’d stumble back here and subsequently pass out in a heap on his bed. he shakes his head slightly, ridding himself of the thought before it got too deep.

‘okay, well.. goodnight,’ flashing him a tight-lipped smile before closing the door and making your way to your own room.

steve is stood facing the window, already stripped out of his clothes, ready for bed. he spins when he hears the door click shut, walking over to where you stood undressing with a grin, hands finding their place on your waist.

you hum at the feeling of his palms on your skin, ‘what’re you doing?’ shimmying out of your horrendous grey work trousers.

his lips softly press against the back of your neck and maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s spite but he can’t help himself, fingers coming down to mess with the waistband of your panties. placing your hand over his to stop him from going any further.

‘we can’t,’ you hush, acutely aware that eddie was just a few doors down and would most certainly hear.

‘we can.. you’ll just have to be quiet,’ murmuring against the back of your neck, your hand doing absolutely nothing to really try and stop him. ‘can you do that for me?’

he travels further down, past the flimsy waistband, feeling his smirk widen against your skin as you sigh softly, sliding your hand onto his forearm, using it for leverage while his middle finger begins to circle your already sensitive clit.

your sex life hadn’t been what it was in the beginning, both of you busy with work and mental health crises that it was now more of a rarity to find the time. it’s not really lost on you as to why steve is so eager for it tonight but you couldn’t help but to feel at least a little turned on by this sudden bout of possessiveness.

your eyes flutter closed as he adds another finger to the equation, letting your body lean back against his bare chest, ‘my god,’ you moan softly, leaving crescent moon shapes indented in his skin.

‘hmm? is that good, baby?’ his plump, pink lips pressing gentle kisses to you neck and shoulders, teeth grazing the agile skin. he’s unforgiving and really not trying to be quiet at all.

it was definitely spite.

you can feel his erect cock against your ass, unknowingly writhing around, brushing up against him. his fingers hastily leave the safety of your now sodden underwear, manoeuvring your body to face him.

‘you’re such an asshole,’ you hush, gripping onto his arms for balance, walked backwards towards the bed.

a menacing smirk plastered on his face as he falls on top of you, knowing full well that eddie could definitely hear your soft pants and the way your lips echoed his name. stevestevesteve.

his fingers are brushing the hair from your face, making sure you were looking at him. it’s disgusting how attractive you find this. steve wasn’t usually one for such outward jealousy but you couldn’t say you hated it. legs wrapping around his torso after he had slipped your underwear off.

you don’t even attempt to conceal the whimper that ripples through your throat when he slides into your cunt. gripping onto his shoulders as the bed begins to creak, headboard knocking into the dry wall, unapologetic with his movements.

completely unashamed.

-

you’re eternally grateful that eddie doesn’t mention anything the next morning though he avoids steve’s eye and keeps his head low until he leaves for work. breathing an almost undetected sigh of relief when the door clicks shut.

the pair of spend most of the day lounging on the couch in front of the television, watching the overdue videos steve had neglected to return. the darkness eventually creeps up on you. the moon shining through the windows.

‘c’mon.. let’s go out,’ eddie nudges your knee with his, a devilish grin plastered across his face. he’d been bored shitless all day, as much as he enjoyed the mundane with you.. he wanted to go out. feel that rush through his veins as you got into something you shouldn’t.

‘i shouldn’t.. i’ve been doing good lately, it’s.. i can’t,’ sinking further into the sofa. you wanted to go out, really. but you and eddie going out alone together was a recipe for disaster.

‘and that’s why you deserve a treat.. c’mon, i know you want to,’ egging you on, now poking your knee with his finger, his other hand gripping onto the warm beer can.

you ponder for a second, pursing your lips as you weigh up the pros and cons. you don’t have to get wasted.. you could go out with eddie and be back before steve got home from work. yeah. you could do that.

‘where?’

eddie’s smile widens, he’d anticipate a hell of a lot more nagging and pleading than this, ‘fucking.. anywhere, the night is young and so are we.’

‘okay.. but, we’re having a normal night.. nothing crazy and i wanna be back here before steve is, got it?’ raising your eyebrows as you down the last sliver of wine.

‘absolutely.. whatever you want,’ eddie chuckles, slapping his knees as he stands from the couch, ‘c’mon.. get dressed.’

you stare up at him for a moment before getting up from the couch and slinking into yours and steve’s room. he wouldn’t be happy about this but if you were home and in bed before he was, he wouldn’t have much to complain about and if he did, he’d get over it.

and hey, maybe you could prove to him that you were okay now. that you were ready and able to handle things on your own.

-

everyone goes absolutely crazy when eddie walks in, almost as if he’d been locked up for a year. there are a few unhappy murmurs, worried onlookers who had been there that night.

but he doesn’t seem to care, shaking hands and chatting to everyone that came up to him. people handing him cups of mystery liquor which eventually got passed onto you.

you’re perched next to him on the couch, drinking the vile tasting liquid without a second thought. the odd person still coming up to him in shock, asking all sorts about what life was like on the inside.

and he just laughs and tell them the same generic story about earning his way and how eventually people listened to him. you doubt much of it is actually true but let him continue nonetheless. what did you know about prison?

bedsides, you’d seen the scars that now littered his knuckles and forearms. how his muscles had grown and the way his nose now bent slightly to the left. he must’ve done something to earn them.

your head is pretty fuzzy the first time the plate full of mystery white powder is passed around. respectfully declining and mumbling about sticking to drink.

but by the second time it comes your way, you’re glancing down at the porcelain with eager eyes. one tiny line couldn’t hurt, right? you still had plenty of time to sober up and get home before steve.

so you pick up the rolled up note, eddie’s eyes watching like a hawk, ‘hey.. you sure?’ his own jaw clenching from his previous line.

‘it’s fine,’ you nod reassuringly, holding one nostril and sniffing the pre-cut line, sniffing harshly. you’d forgotten how much it stung, making your eyes water as you pass the plate onwards.

you sit back into the couch, watching as the conversation roars around you. waiting for that sweet, sweet feeling when it finally hit.

and oh boy, does it.

one second you’re sat on the couch and the next you’re pulling eddie up onto his feet, trying to make him dance along to the pounding music with you. it all sounded so good. your body warm and loose. heart pounding in your chest as the beat vibrates through your limbs.

you’re not sure how long you’re dancing for, keeping your eyes closed while other people start getting up to join you.

not even questioning the second line when it re-emerges. still slowly sipping on what was now a dark liquor, bitter in taste, burning your throat on the way down.

eddie’s hand gingerly touches your waist causing you to pull your eyes to him. he’s dancing too, clutching onto the beer bottle, pupils dilated as they cling to you. cling to your body. moving in time with his.

everything’s a little blurry but you keep your eyes steady on eddie, smiling as the music distorts in your ears. it sounded robotic and weird but still had you wiggling your hips in time with the odd beat.

his other hand meets your waist, more confidently this time, pulling your body towards his. you think nothing of it, focussed on moving in time to the music.

eddie’s hand moves up to cup your cheek, the party bleating on around you as he tips your chin up towards his. a soft smile on his face as your eyes meet his fully.

the next few seconds happen so quickly that you’re not even sure if it actually happened.

his lips crash against yours, pressing himself to your chest, hand clinging to your cheek. he’s desperate with it, hungry and insatiable.

the magic dust you’d just inhaled must have softened your inhibitions because you’re kissing him back. palm pressed against his chest, fingers curling into his t-shirt.

until you finally realise exactly what you’re doing.

pulling yourself away from him, stumbling backwards as you blink up at him. had you actually just kissed him? no, why the fuck had he kissed you?

‘what the fuck are you doing?’ you exclaim, mind still hazy under the influence of whatever narcotics they were passing around.

your stomach twists. steve was probably sat at home waiting for you to get back, worried sick about where you’d gone. all the while you’re kissing his best friend at a party he had no idea was happening. it makes your stomach twist, guilt coursing through your chest.

you back away from eddie, tripping over another party goers outstretched legs as you go. head pounding, hands tingling. everything surrounding you had become a massive blur of flashing lights and distorted faces.

‘fuck.. wait!’ eddie calls out from the living room but you’re already gone, pushing past the gaggle of people in the hallway as you fumble for the doorknob.

the cold air hitting you the second the door is open, you hadn’t brought a jacket. or had you? you can’t really remember.

there are people strewn across the front yard, watching as you stumble down the path, fumbling for your phone in you pocket. the letters all jumble into one as you click through searching for steve's contact. slamming the green button the second you recognise the slight curve of the s.

he answers on the first ring, ‘hello? where are you?’ you’d missed the tens of missed calls from his number.

‘i’m.. i don’t know,’ sobbing into the receiver as one of the onlookers from the party approaches you, ‘where are we?’

from what you can make out, it’s a young girl, she looks worried as she takes the phone from your hand and places it to her ear, telling steve whatever street you were on. her spare hand reaches out to rub your back, keeping you close to her body as steve fucking sprints from your apartment to the address.

eddie makes absolutely zero attempts to try and find you, assuming that you’d already run off home. fuck it, he was out now. might as well prolong the inevitable argument with steve for as long as possible.

when steve arrives, he’s practically frantic, taking you from the kind girl as he leads you off home. his arm keeping your body held upright as you wail the entire way home.

‘steve..’ you sniffle, being guided into the empty apartment, ‘we kissed- eddie kissed me.. i didn’t mean to, i promise,’ clinging onto his neck as you’re lead into your bedroom.

he’s weirdly silent, placing you gently onto the bed, taking off your shoes before sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

‘have you taken anything?’ he questions, choosing to ignore your confession, for his own sanity mostly.

you nod into the pillow, sprawled out on the mattress as the room spins around you. it’s dizzying, and not just the room spinning but the fact that steve was still so gentle even after your admission.

‘what? what d’you take?’

‘i don’t know.. coke i think.’

he nods, swallowing the growing fury in his throat, ‘i’ll get you some water, try and sleep yeah?’

he goes to get up but you’re already grabbing onto his forearm, keeping him firmly on the bed, ‘don’t go.. please,’ your voice hoarse from the party.

god, you thought. you sound utterly pitiful, ashamed that even after all he had done for you, you couldn’t hold your shit together on your own and were still relying on steve.

‘okay,’ he whispers, kicking his shoes off and swinging his legs over and onto the bed, sitting up on the pillows rather than joining you properly.

his arm snakes around your back, lifting your body ever so slightly to slide his arm under, pulling you onto his warm chest. stubbly chin coming to rest atop of your head.

you nestle your head into his cotton shirt, ‘i love you,’ head rising with every breath he took, closing your eyes and attempting to fall asleep despite the fact it felt like there was something stabbing into the side of your brain.

-

steve’s sat, deadpanned on the couch when eddie attempts to creep back in. startled by his presence in the darkened room. by this time, the birds had begun to chirp as the first rays of sunlight crept through the blinds.

‘shit man..’ eddie clutches his chest, ‘you scared me,’ he fumbles his way through the room, still pretty intoxicated, lips sore from chewing on them all night.

steve blinks, scrunching up his face as the other boy takes a seat next to him. eddie’s sure he knows. you had definitely told him. jesus christ, why wouldn’t you? he fucked up. again.

‘you can’t stay here anymore,’ steve states, stoic.

he wasn’t letting much on here. eddie almost wishes he’d just beat his ass and get it over with at least it’d be better than this creepy shit he had going on.

‘bro.. i’m sorry, i was fucked up.. i don’t know what the hell i was doing,’ he’s staring wide-eyed at steve who’s staring straight ahead, jaw tense, ‘shit, punch me if you want.. god knows i’d deserve it.’

‘i don’t care,’ steve presses his tongue to the back of his teeth, ‘you come back and you fuck everything up.. do you know how hard i’ve tried to help her.. all these meds and doctors appointments,’ steve’s shoulder’s slump, ‘fuck man, i even had to take her to this creepy ass therapist and try not to beat the shit out of him every time i dropped her off.. d’you know how hard that was?’ he sounds desperate now, dropping the weird, unsettling facade, turning to eddie with a genuine look of hurt upon his face.

eddie’s mouth opens to reply, but he has nothing to say. hasn’t a clue how to answer that because he didn’t know. yeah, you’d told him about it and how steve hadn’t left your side throughout it all but he had no idea that this was how steve had felt.

‘no,’ steve scoffs, ‘no you don’t know.. because you weren’t there,’ he sighs before continuing, ‘you didn’t have to watch the love of your life be dragged away because some judge had deemed her crazy. you weren’t there week in, week out in that hospital.. helpless.’

steve wouldn’t ever think of you as a burden but fuck, he needed to tell literally anyone the shit he had bottled up and eddie was now the (un)willing participant to catch the brunt of his frustration.

eddie swallows, staring out into the dark room, ‘i didn’t know.. i’m sorry,’ he’s scrambling now, trying to think of something, anything to say that could help, but he can’t. in steve’s eyes, he’s the one who continually seems to ruin shit for you. ruin you.

‘so no, i don’t want to hit you because you kissed my girlfriend but i do want to fucking kill you for coming in here and messing her up all over again,’ steve spits, his words like venom as they hit eddie square in the face.

any traces of intoxication had been pummelled from his body, head beginning to pound from the impending hangover, chest heavy under the weight of steve’s words.

his eyes squeeze shut. he was a fuck up and he knew it. he wasn’t sure why he’d even done it. you just looked so pretty and blissful and.. and you’d smiled at him the way you used to and he’d thought that maybe that had meant something. the few seconds that you’d kissed him back had felt like euphoria, for the first time in so long everything felt right again.

steve interrupts his train of self-pitying thought by standing from the couch, turning to walk away but pauses, ‘i’ll help you find somewhere tomorrow.. maybe nance n’ all will let you stay,’ and even through all of this steve couldn’t help but be kind to the man.

that’s what hit eddie the hardest, that even though he had hurt his best friend.. he was still stood in front of him throwing him a line and offering a sense of patience and understanding that eddie hadn’t felt in far too long.

he watches in silence as steve slinks off to your shared bedroom, head hanging low in utter shame. he’d never admit aloud, and especially not to steve, but the thought of you was the one thing getting him through his sentence.

the first few months were pretty rocky, having to prove himself time and time again, resulting in a multitude of different injuries but at the end of the day, he’d climb into his bunk and re-read the letters you’d sent. thumbing the pages until they were yellowed and worn. the mere thought of you still thinking about him was enough to make him get out of bed each morning.

he peers down at his scarred hands, tracing over the glistening white indentations. they all told their own individual story, the big one that ran across the large part of his hand was the worst after being slashed with a makeshift shiv during a fight. he was quite lucky really, his hand had taken the majority of the damage and had meant he wasn’t left to bleed out on the floor.

so he’d gotten stitches, kept his mouth shut and things had started to change. and yet still, every night he’d go to bed thinking of your face, telling himself that it wasn’t long to go.

you were his saving grace. the only thing that had stopped him slipping into darkness. he’d thought about it plenty, hurting himself or one of the douchebag inmates he shared the small space with. at least that way he’d get moved into solitary, maybe he’d even prove himself to the other guys.

-

you keep quiet when steve comes into your bedroom, unsure of whether to let him know you had practically heard their entire conversation. the mattress dips when he gets into bed, exhaling softly and making sure the blanket is covering both of you.

he sits in silence for a moment, you can feel his eyes burning into your face before he eventually settles in and lies back on the pillow.

‘are you mad at me?’ you squeak, gazing at him from tired eyes.

your voice startles him, so sure that you were still asleep but he answers quickly, ‘no, never,’ turning on his side to face you, inches from your face. it felt so intimate like this, vulnerable.

‘i heard what you said.. i’m sorry for..’ your bottom lip wobbles and you try hard to blink away the brimming tears, ‘for putting you through that.’

he’s immediately comforting you, placing a warm hand on your sodden cheek, ‘you’re okay.. it’s okay, you didn’t do anything,’ steve’s gut twisted, he hadn’t meant for you to hear any of it and the thought of you feeling guilty for eddie’s sake pricked at his heart.

you nod, not completely believing his words but for the sake of not causing a problem so early in the morning, deciding to just accept it. no matter how much it had been parroted to you, there was no accepting that none of this was your fault.

‘it’s just the way your brain is wired,’ dr. foster had said during one of your sessions, ‘but i’m here to make it all better,’ his eyes were narrowed, carefully watching you from his leather chair.

the memory alone makes you shudder, he’d been all for this authentic, organic approach.. hosting the sessions in his home and perhaps at times, becoming a little too familiar. his hand patting your knee as you spoke, asking creepy questions about your relationship with steve and overstepping a shit ton of boundaries. he had these icy blue eyes that lingered on yours for too long, there was something deeply unsettling about the way they narrowed when steve was mentioned. the utter anger they held when you brought up eddie. oh no, he really didn’t like eddie.

he’d been the one to suggest that you slow down with the letters to eddie, telling you that focusing on recovery was more important. it had worked in his favour anyway, the letters becoming the least of your concerns as you navigated recovery.

nonetheless, he didn’t last long. you were still in that mellow adjustment period, getting used to the meds when steve had informed you that dr. foster was no longer going to be your therapist. something about a conflict of schedules but you weren’t sure how true that really was.

-

it had been a few weeks since you’d last seen eddie, unsure of where he was or what trouble he’d gotten himself into. maybe even a minuscule part of you was hoping that he’d got himself arrested, at least that way you’d know he was safe inside and not wrecked in a ditch somewhere.

for the most part, you’d managed to put him to the back of your mind. it was only when things got quiet did you worry about him. deep down, you knew it was for the best. you couldn’t be around him without that niggling voice in the back of your head creeping back up. there was too much history there.

and steve had been so wonderful. you’re not sure you’d ever felt love like this. so transparent and pure, so void of expectations that he could see you at your worst and still be just as content to love you.

it all makes your heart ache, were you enough for steve even when you were like this? he had bore witness to the most horrific times of your life and yet, he’d be there everyday with a smile on his face and an open heart prepared for whatever that day may bring.

he’d taken the day off of work to purely spend it with you. granted, you’d only wanted to sit on the couch and watch a bunch of terrible movies with him but it was good enough. you’re not sure how long you’ve now been on this couch, but you knew it was late as the street lights glimmer that harsh orange through the blinds.

this film has you falling asleep, steve’s pick, obviously. you’d slid down the couch to rest your head on his lap, eyelids weighing heavy as sleep threatens to take over.

until you’re both startled by the incessant banging on the door, fist pummelling into the already brittle wood. your head snaps upward towards steve, pouting at the rude awakening. who on earth could find the need to pound the door at this time?

‘you expectin’ anyone?’ steve asks curiously, sliding your head from his thigh, very cautiously getting off of the couch to answer the door.

‘no? robin, maybe?’ unless robin had turned into a rabid zombie, you were sure it probably wasn’t her on the other side.

steve peers through the peep hole, seemingly taken aback but what or whoever he sees on the other side, ‘shit..’ cursing under his breath as he slides the chain from the door, opening it just slightly.

‘what?’ petrified by his reaction, sitting up on the couch to prepare for the impending insanity on the other side.

‘jesus man.. what are you doing here?’ he’s pushed aside as what looks like one eddie munson barges through the door, gasping for air and looking worse for wear.

he’s clutching his knees, doubled over as he tries to catch his breath, ‘i fucking.. ran the whole way here..’

if you’re being honest, he looks terrible. hair limp as it hangs around his face, clothes dirtied and you can’t see his face properly but you’re sure there’s a shiner of a bruise on his cheek.

‘what are you doing? what’s wrong?’ you fret, swinging your legs over the side of the couch as steve closes the door, bolting it up again in hopes that whatever eddie was running from was not following him.

he exhales before standing up straight, wiping the sweat from his forehead, ‘i need your help.. both of you,’ looking to steve who was stood with his hand on his hip, concerned about the inevitable mess eddie had just welcomed back into your lives.

‘why? where have you been?’

the last you’d heard from him, nancy had, very reluctantly, agreed to let him stay in their couch for a few days until he got himself sorted. but they’d woken up the next morning to find that he was no longer on said couch, not a trace of him left behind. he was completely unreachable, no phone, no idea where he had escaped off to and absolutely no one had seen or heard from him.

initially it had been a frenzy to try and find him until you collectively realised that he didn’t want to be found this time. and you had to mourn him all over again.

‘steve, d’you still know how to make fakes?’ completely ignoring your question, blinking at a puzzled steve.

your eyes flit to steve, unaware that he apparently had a history in counterfeit goods. perhaps a crucial bit of information he’d glossed over there.

‘not anymore.. what the fuck do you need that for?’

‘you know anyone that does? i’m desperate man.. i- i’ll pay,’ eddie pants, ‘name your price,’ chest heaving as he stands in the middle of your living room. he felt out of place here now, stuck out like a sore thumb.

steve ponders for a second, ‘uhh.. i dunno, maybe.. what’ve you done?’ sighing softly.

‘i need to leave the country.. i fucked up.. big time,’ eyes flitting to you with a certain sadness. even now, he didn’t want to disappoint you yet it seemed to be all he could do.

‘what’ve you done?’ you press, chewing on the inside of your cheek. mind running to the worst possibly conclusion. murder wasn’t out of the equation if you were honest.

eddie runs a dirtied, ringed hand over his face, ‘you know how i’m kinda s’posed to be in jail right now?’ it was already glaringly obvious that he hadn’t been released early.

‘yeah..’

‘well, i uh- i paid some guys off, they said they could get me out.. get me away from here,’ only now is he realising how fucking stupid that sounded.

‘eddie.. what?’ you exclaim, astonished by the sheer stupidity he constantly displayed. you’d thought that maybe he’d have learnt something from jail, that was the point of it, wasn’t it? learn from your mistakes and better yourself.

‘look, it doesn’t matter.. they’re asking for more money and i don’t have it,’ he says exasperated, ‘i need to disappear.. just for a little while, til they forget about it,’ eyes steady on you, as if to seek your approval.

you blink, where was he even planning to go? were you just never going to see him again?

‘i can’t get you outta the country but.. i might have a friend that can help,’ steve’s voice pipes up, tearing your eyes from eddie to look at him.

‘how?’ you exclaim, wondering what other things he had kept secret from you.

‘my friend’s out in california.. i think he’d put you up there,’ nodding at eddie, he probably didn’t deserve this kindness but steve couldn’t just leave him stranded. there was too much history to ever turn his back on his friend, even now, after everything, he was still holding his hand out for eddie.

‘that’d be.. fuck, that’d be.. good,’ eddie nods along, appreciative of anything you could do for him. turning to meet your gaze once more.

he knows this is it.

there wasn’t any coming back from this. no next time. it was california or it was death. and he sure as shit wasn’t a fan of the second option.

you think, deep down, that you know it too.

the likelihood of seeing him again is next to nothing. if he didn’t get himself killed, he’d certainly never be coming back here. this wasn’t for him, never had been really. well, maybe once upon a time when you looked at him without that sadness in your eye it had been.

when he thought back to it, he was sure the he knew you’d never loved him, he’d just been pretending for so long that his mind had played tricks on him, made him believe it. that’s why he’d lashed out that night, he’d convinced himself that you were in love with him. but you weren’t, and his heart had realised that fact quicker than his head had.

steve disappears into your bedroom in search of his phone, leaving you two alone in the living room. everything you want to say stays unsaid. heavy as it lingers between you. there’s not really much you can say in this moment that wouldn’t make things worse.

instead, you just nod.

as if to say that he could go. he could let you go.

eddie understands. but he’s not sure he ever will.

[griffinskullz]

in an anton shudder mood rn so uhhmhmhmhm these r some hcs!!!!!!!

warning this silly guy is not happy and a couple of these hcs are just a bit sad :,(

has a RBF lmao (resting bitch face (he’s so sweet though he doesn’t know the man running away from him in fear he is scowling at))

about his gist btw! he didn’t choose the discipline. some traumatic event that i am yet to create formed it and it has whispered to him ever since.

yes! the gist whispers to him. pretty much all the time like how valkyrie had draquesse. as he got older and the gist became stronger the whispers became louder. he mostly ignored it but every now and then the dead men would catch him muttering under his breath. talking to it. maybe repeating what it was saying. hardly audible,,, . they never asked about it really though :c they knew he struggled and did their best to help when they could but ultimately the only person who could save anton was himself.

i’d say pretty much all the dead men are bi (but skul and sar who r both pan) but i think that anton was gay :]

he has ptsd and autism and also an EXTREMELY high pain tolerance

the oldest dead men by quite a bit ! he’s 576 but looks to be about in his late 40s :p

he’s Vietnamese - which i actually thought was cannon for ages ive seen it too much hehe

it’s been noted that both him and saracen speak fluent french so i like the idea that him and sar travelled to france before going to Ireland and meeting the soon to be dead men !!

him and saracen are the brothers ever. introducing each other to someone and the person is left confused when anton (the 6’3 vampirewerewolf crossover drenched in a morticians attire addresses the short tan italian totally normal slightly insane looking guy as his brother (yes i hc saracen as italian haha) (and in case your interested! erskine in my hc is greek, ghastly and skul are irish, hopeless is slovakian and i haven’t decided where larr is from yet another :^))

his gun is called daisy because that was the name he used to call larrikin <3

also! he wears larrikins dog tags at all times with a small silver daisy pendant with an L etched on the back.

he’s a very good artist and enjoys watercolours and oil painting to calm himself when his gist is playing up

his music taste is very mixed. the smiths and lebanon hangover to Darkthrone and bathory. (he’s a Norwegian black + death metal enjoyer trust trust)

the more i reread the book the more i realise he was definitely more implied to be goth which is totally awesome 🙏

a little bit about him being part selkie if i may!! he has small fang on his bottom row of teeth and the two tiniest of scars on his upper lips where over the years he’s just chewed or accidentally bitten into them x3

also the idea of very thin flecks of grey hair around the edges of his face. idek how to describe it but like small almost fur strands from his selkie ancestry lolz

during the war antons default emotion was just anger. that’s cannon and i can understand that,,, i think that saracen and the other dead men (other than skulduggery which i will explain another time,,,,) really did help him through it

now after the war,,, he’s not as angry. he’s smouldering- sure. he’s always on the verge of just killing everything in sight and letting the gist take over but hey he has a brother to live for and friends and pet cats to tend to

YES HE HAS PET CATS!!!! dogs are too loud for him now. he prefers cats so much. helps not just his anger but his not so great mental health too.

also a note; him and the connections between werewolves open a part in my brain i didn’t know was there,,,, it just,,, it ,,,, yeah,,,,, its , good ,,, i cant really express it i like the idea a lot no doubts i actually really do like it. not that he is a werewolf??? but like connections with them and him i find unbelievable awesome

some mutliships i have for him too :ooo

anton x larrikin obviously <3

surprisingly i actually LOVE!!! erskine x anton,,, my favourite guys and these guys can KISS!!!!!

alsoooo i quite like hopeless x anton but i don’t really stand by it as much as i do for the other two :p

OK,,,, wow. i have said so much. i have TONS more to say about this silly guy i adore him so much. !! if i have anything to add later i will !!!! if YOU!!! have anything to add or feedback i’d love to hear it !!!!! ty for reading this utter yapping post!!!!!!

[tiredandwireds-blog]

@jennalistening i got u

Ok here's a list of all the best Dick and Damian(mostly with father/son dynamics) fics imo. Pls dont judge me.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40095006

The Stowaway (5099 words) by LittleLadybugs

Short sweet and fluffy! Damian sneaks a cat into the penthouse and struggles to keep it hidden. At least Dick always has his back!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32923282

Emergency Contact by DawnsEternalLight for grousemouse

Hilarious and cute! Damian gets attacked on a school trip and is just the way youd expect him to be lol. Dick freaks out ofc

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49322866

my shoulders are heavy already by a_alene

Ughhh its sooo goodddd! Damian and Dick sickfic cannot recommend enoughhh plsplspls read ittt

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36304804

a chance to celebrate by emavee

So cuteee! The batfam throws a party to celebrate Dick adopting Damian. Its such a cute story that gives insight into each characters feelings and its also fluffy as hell!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46392967

Father's Day (we were the best) by InkpotSprite

Damian decides to celebrate Dick on Mother's and Father's Day lol cute and absolutely hilarious!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40260231

I'll Carry You by BrickSheep

BrickSheep puts it best with the tag Comfort No Hurt. Its exactly as the title says dick carries damian and i get a rush of dopamine lol

https://archiveofourown.org/series/890946

I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus by pupeez4eva

Damian becomes convinced Santa is after Dick Bruce is confused and Jason is evil. So pretty par for the course lol. Tbh tho this fic had me laughing so hard my sides hurt an absolute beautiful nightmare to read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51531457

The Ping-Pong Wars by fadesfanfic

Stephanie and Damian bonding! Dick being worried over Damian! And oh the shenanigans! Its beautiful and sweet and funny and iloveitsomuchhh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28186434

Paint Cans and Sneaking Out by CarrionCarnival

Damian sneaks out to do some graffiti and tries not to get caught lol. Cute and fun. A whole new look for Damian that I loveee

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22544392

The R Stands for – by Cirth

A beautifully written look into Damian's adjustment to his new home. Honestly made me cry ngl but sometimes you need that

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52221118

Obsolete Tools and Tangible Miseries by Corybantic

Ok we def in angst territory now gang! Damian thinks hes nothong but a weapon and Dick helps convince him otherwise. Read at your own risk cause i was sobbinggg

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37052449

the city without stars in its skies by Alienu

Ok i literally just reread this one anddd. Ughhhh im dyingggg. Damian is sent to kill Officer Dick Grayson you see where this is goinggg its so gooddd plsreadplsreadplsread

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40538418

Home Is Where the Heart Is by LittleLadybugs

Ok ill admit this ones more batfam focused then just dick and dami but still. So good. Dick is adopted by Slade not Bruce and goes running to blüdhaven to hide from him. Sadly the Birds wont leave hime alone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395412

Not by Blood, Maybe by Heart by Ellegrine

Ok we back to fluff now lol. Damian loves his brothers even if he never says it. In this fic he shows it by protecting Dicks honor lol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18296282

Still the Best by Cdelphiki

3 great fics all in one spot! Literally some of the best stuff ive ever read! Iloveitiloveitiloveit pls readdd

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918887

Catch Me (All Records Indicate) by Engineerd

The evolution of the nickname lil D. Cute and so sweet. Short but such a comfort read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866386

This Too Shall Pass by DarthPeezy

Just oh. just so so goodddd. Another gorgeous look at Damian adjusting to his new life with the batfam tho this one is more plot directed and ohmygosh did that plot have me in a death grip

And finally my top 2 fav fics:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718083

Throughout Infinity by flumen

Damian is sent to an alternate universe and meets young justice Dick and crew. Ok no summary i can do will do this fic justice just know i read this in one sitting and immediately felt my sense of priorities and my mind shift. No joke this changed me.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021464

3:16 by partingxshot

AAAHHHH

Ok now i can talk abt this. Im in the process of rereading this AGAIN bc i literally cannot be left alone. Ok quick summary: each chapter follows Dick and Damian adjusting to their new life as Batman and Robin. I feel like most everyone who is in love with the dynamic between Dick and Damian has read this fic but i cant leave it out bc its literally my fav fic EVER. i will never be normal abt this fic if you havent read it yet plspls do

[bitterrfruit]

I binged and finished Houndtooth in one night and when I tell you I need compensation for the emotional damaged, I mean it. Your writing is so incredibly beautiful. As in, i'm in awe. The amount of detail in each paragraph was insane Everytime you elaborated on even the smallest of thing I was just sat there like"how does she manage to make my poor girl picking her toe nail polish interesting?" Personally, I think you're my fav writer for CoD hehe. I got started with that boxer fic (can't remember the name as i'm typing perhaps thats my sign to go reread) and just started scrolling thru your absolute goldmine of a page. AND YOUR DRAWINGS R SO CUTE TOOOOOO.

Anyways, literally I cried multiple times while reading Houndtooth. May have been a combination of your writing and the fact it was late at night but damn that was some heavy hitting stuff. You could really feel from the beginning the way people only saw like her appearance first and foremost and VERY quickly. icould feel how it just spiraled out of her favor. Like ik its cliche when pretty ppl are like "oh but people don't want me for me, they want me looks" and typically i'm like okay wtv your good looking at least but I think you really captured how dangerous it can be for a beautiful woman in these sorts of situation and the true devaluation of everything else about her. And literally I died inside all the times Simon reaffirmed he would never do anything to her like please "little thing" your killing me in the best way possible.

Anyways, my final note because i'm sure you don't want to read this whole ramble I have going on!! I'm not someone who has struggled with an addiction but that withdrawal bit made me bawl like a baby. When Simon brought those pills to her and forced her to take them I was just sitting there like WHY DOES SHE KEEP GETTING FUCKED OVER (obvs not by Simon because he was trying to make sure they could get their mission done wtv) but by life in general. She literally cannot fucking win like?!?!!!?!!?!!??! Ugh.

What really did me in was this bit:

“I don’t want it anymore,” you whine, “I’ve never got this far.” 

This particular line sticks out the most to me. No clue why as you wrote so many lovely things but this just broke me for Mia like pls stop. Need a minute guys. Like she gets the chance to leave this world behind, even if it kills her, even if its back to square one, even if her husband died right in front of her, she got the chance and she bolted. Literally it took two days and she was ready to just go home, back to Nottingham. Last thing she needed to kick were the drugs but ofc when can she ever get a win? Never. And it was just so cruel that atp simon was starting to care for her like A LOT that he needed to do it. I’m not getting across just how bad that HURT.

Anyways thank you for taking the time to read thru this and obviously your amazing works!! I look forward to the next chapters <3

oh my gosh gorgeous this was so special to read, thank you so so much!!! 😭 it means so much to me that the story has affected you, literally the highest possible praise, i am so so giddy to hear my angsty shit hits like it should <33

mia has been going THROUGH it and i feel sooo bad for doing it to her. the withdrawal scenes were so gnarly to write but an important turning point for simon i think. but god they hurt lol

love you so much anon this was such a divine message to receive, made my whole week, so so happy you liked the story!!! <33

[candydust]

This next part of Chad and Tristan is sort of a combination, and the continuation from part 9. :)

Chad and Tristan - The story continues part 10

Despite the talk they had and even though Tristan had rather kept Chad at home, he also knew that Chad needed to see his friends more often. Figuring it was also a learning experience for Chad, not to be utterly dependent on their relationship and Tristan's total companionship.

And although Chad hadn't been gone for more than a couple of hours, the text messages came pouring in.

'How are you feeling? 🩷 I hope you're doing better. Danny said that he's read somewhere that drinking lots of water can take the edge off things.'

Tristan lifted one brow. Dismissive of the suggestion. Instead, he got himself a bottle of Coke that he drank from with thirst.

The phone beeped with incoming text.

'I've been sneezing frequently since coming here. Danny has a bouquet standing in the kitchen that he received from friend. I think it's the flowers that is making me sneeze all the time cause the smell is really strong and irritating. Danny started to bless me in the beginning but I guess he's grown tired of it. 🫢 He jokingly said that I should try for the Guinness book of world records for the amount of sneezing that I'm currently doing.'

Rereading the text several times, Tristan regretted not tagging along and for some weird reason, he also felt jealous that Danny was getting all the fun.

He was about to type a reply when his own nose began to tickle and he stifled two sneezes openly over the screen.

'That joke sounds kinda rude...'  He typed with a sniffle, rubbing at the stubble at his chin. 'Are u sure it's the flowers though? Like r you sneezing a lot? Like a lot, A LOT? I mean how much is frequently, exactly?'

Tristan couldn't help himself. Chad's sneezing session brought forward wonderings that he usually kept to himself. He was just about to hit send when another message popped up. A rushing sensation swept over him, seeing the message attached a voice file.

'...I'll be right there..!'

The soft voice exclaimed. Hearing the loveliness formed a smile at Tristan's lips. There was lot of noise in the background,  but Tristan still evened out the wet and breathy sniffles.

And then.

'...Eisch!!'EISCHh'sch!!-GNTx'sch!!!'oh... uh, hhhh, hhhh... GNnHhiiScH!!!  yEIiiscCHhgnnh!!!'uhh... hhhhhh..! huh'GNNhhyiisxh!!!!'schooo... ... goodness heavens me.'

The message ended but the sneezes had etched itself into Tristan's memory. Without shame, he pressed play again, listening closely, just as the phone alerted another text.

I'm pretty sure it's the flowers. I'm experiencing these intense sneezing fits around every other minute. We've relocated to another room but I can still smell them from here. 😟🤧

(I stifled thrice while typing.)

Starting to type a decent and caring reply, all Tristan could really think about was Chad, sitting on a couch, desperately rubbing with his slender fingers over the red and troubled nose, pinching it to gain some control of the flaring nostrils. Incapable, then snapping forward with wet, harsh and helpless sneezes into his hands. And all the while imagining those moments, he couldn't refrain from replaying the voice message.

'Thank u for the little present.' He started to text when he felt the need to sneeze once more. He lowered the phone and felt his chest heave. Bringing his wrist up, he let it slide beneath edges of his widened nostrils but it was useless as the sharp tickle wouldn't ease. He sniffled, then drew in a deep breath. '...Ha'hhNNg!!! ...ugh, hhhh'haGaschu!!! Uhgnnnusch!!! Fuck, ugh.... Hat'uSCHu!!!'

Sniffling kind of urgently, he quickly composed another message,

'Your sneezes are amazing, I'm going fuckin crazy over here. I've listened to your voice message around 4 times already. I don't think u have any idea of what you're doing to me.'

Fetching a tissue, he kept his eyes on the screen, blowing the nose noisily as Chad was quick to reply.

'I'm glad you liked you my little sound clip. so all this sneezing isn't useless.🩷  I'm struggling to get my nose under some kind control here. 😕 Danny doesn't have any meds against pollen so I guess I'll be leaving shortly.

The image of Chad being a hot and sneezy mess still lingered. It was affecting him to that point that he felt his fingers tremble from excitement as he texted him back.

'Sorry to hear that gorgeous. Maybe you should just come home so I can take care of u.'

It wasn't long until Chad returned to the house and as he entered it, Tristan performed a ritual of a true gentleman by helping Chad out of the outerwear and taking his bag from his shoulder. While doing so, he couldn't avoid seeing the red edges around Chad's perfect nostrils. The glistening hue at the tip.

After alluring hugs and longing kisses, Tristan placed a comforting hand on Chad's back and escorted him to the livingroom.

'So... you've been very active and bold today?' He said with a teasing smirk as they sat together on the couch.

'I have?' Chad expressed with a discreet sniffle. Tucking some hair behind his ear, his cheeks blossomed with a perfect hue of pink, matching the top of his vulnerable nose.

'Sending me dirty messages, eh?' Amused, Tristan raised one brow.

'Oh... you mean, uhm...?'

'Yea.'

'I just wanted to send you some kind of proof.' He softly admitted with a scratch at the nose. 'So you wouldn't think I was making it up.'

'Why would I do that..?' He let his fingers play with some of the loose strands of Chad's hair.

'Because...' Chad looked down, bringing the fingers back to his nose. 'Maybe you'd think I was lying, as I originally wanted to stay at home with you. And I suppose an enduring sneezing attack would somehow be the easiest excuse.'

'...literally.' Tristan chuckled, taking Chad's hand within his.

'So yea. That's why I sent it.' Chad looked up and their eyes met.

'Not because you wanted to turn me on?'

'...uhm... I, uh. Or... wait... is that a trick question?' Chad asked with an embarrassed giggle as the pink colour over his cheeks grew deeper.

'Not at all.'

'Oh well... I guess I... I just wanted to send it to you.' He shyly looked elsewhere. 'I don't know.'

'I loved it.' Tristan moved closer and kissed the reddened cheeks.  'You sounded fucking amazing.'

'...honestly?'

'Honest.'

Their lips connected and Tristan cupped Chad's face between his large hands. 'You're my fucking sun and moon.'

He spoke affectionately, kissing Chad once more when he felt a tremble against his lips.

'...sorry...' With a shuddering breath, Chad pulled away and turned his head to the side. '...hhhh... uh'gnesch!!-GNisch'sch!!!-EISCHh'sch!!!! ....hhhh, hhhh.. eh'EISCHschew!!!! ...oh my...'  He paused for a moment with a blank facial expression, nostrils flarings in and out, then he suddenly flung his hands up to his face. '...uh, eh'Gisch!!!-Gnnsch!!!!-ehKNNXh'!!!!-uh'KNGXh'uh!!!... hhhhh...WRESCH'gnxh!!!' The strength of the stifled sneeze helplessly retained with an audible smother. '...oh goodness...' He muffled with an airy sniffle, then started hitching once again, '...uh hhhhh...!  ...uh'ASCHHh'gnnhsch!!! ...oh.'

The desperation of holding back the forceful sneeze caused Chad to thrust forward with a tumble that almost lost his balance.

'Hey...' Tristan quickly came to Chad's aid and wrapped an arm around his waist.

'...excuse me, I... ugh, hhhh... ' By a natural instinct, Chad leaned into Tristan for support. '....WRESCHscho!!!! ...excuse... hhhh.... ah'WASCHscheo!!!! ...oh my... please forgive me.'

'Aw don't worry about it baby.'

As Tristan held him tighter, Chad relaxed slightly, still overwhelmed and brushing the hair out of his eyes and sniffling constantly.

'Are you okay?'

'...I've been sneezing so much today, the sneezes are completely impossible to control.' He confessed quietly, carefully rubbing at the nose.

'But are you okay?'

Chad gave Tristan a notable glance, visibly emotional from the genuine concern.

'I'm alright.' He sniffled again with gentle strokes at the nose. '...I think. Thank you.'

He was being held by the loving arms and he let his head rest against Tristan's shoulder. 'I'm so glad to be back home.' He said almost silently.

'Me too gorgeous.' Tender kisses met his cheek. '...me too.'

The next day Chad arrived from work a little later than usual. With obvious excitement, he walked right in the kitchen where Tristan was stuffing his mouth with French fries take outs.

'I know what was causing your allergies yesterday!' He said with enthusiasm.

'...uh yea?' Tristan chewed properly then wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. 'So what's up? You're acting all excited.'

'I went back to the Café after work and asked for the ingredients for the tea we ordered.' As Chad spoke, he simultaneously poured himself a glass of water. It seemed like he'd been running home to tell Tristan the news. 'And guess what? It included a special kind of mint.' He had a quick sip of the see-through fluid.

'Seriously? Fuck.' Tristan scratched his head with one hand. He hadn't really though about it so he really appreciated Chad's efforts. 'That's really sweet of you though to check that out for me.'

'I just had a hunch so I had to go check.' Placing down the glass, Chad got a napkin that he dabbed at his forehead, then at the upper lip.

'You're truly something... Come here.'

Embracing each other, Tristan held Chad with the kind of stimulating warmth that only he was able to deliver. The slender fingers danced over Tristan's back as he silently wondered how he'd ever gotten so lucky.

[marta-bee]

This story from @eilinelsghost really and truly blew me away. I don't want to say too much for risk of spoiling it (for he that breaks a thing to see how it works, etc. etc.), but by way of summary, it involves Finarfin and Finrod being reunited after Finrod's death and re-incarnation, and it is every bit as intense as a fic would need to be to do that moment really, really well.

I mean: damn.

Aside from that, I think it's pretty well known in these parts that my two big fandoms are Tolkien and Sherlock Holmes. What I've maybe made less obvious is I relate to these fandoms in pretty different ways, and this fic helped me understand why.

Tolkien is the one fandom I've ever really felt driven to write for, though I don't read it much these days. Whereas Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock especially, I love to read but feel so little drive to actually write in. And I think it's because with Sherlock, there are these great fun characters and so many people still writing in this really accessible, relaxing writing style. Also, canon really did do quite a few of us Johnlockers horribly wrong. Slipping back into that world is like slipping into a warm bath at the end of a long day. But there's not this metaphysical grist the way there is with the Silmarillion especially, and the way my brain works, there's nothing to work out the same way.

And writing is hard. It takes me months often as not, and while I love being on the other side of a good story-telling, the getting-there process is quite grueling. Even the wordcrafting, the turns-of-phrase, I really love writing a character that demands that and whose character demands it. Mycroft, maybe. Denethor, certainly. But more and more, with Sherlock stories, the kind of stories I feel like I should be writing there just don't seem to spring naturally from the canon.

Then I read this gem and got a glimpse of what I was yearning for. It's the archaic language, I think, and the way that other-ness just really, really serves the theme I think the author is aiming for. It's gloriously told on its own, but it's also not (to borrow a line from Hitchhiker's Guide) not just some guys, you know? It's almost like Finrod and Finarfin are characters almost (but not quite) elevated to archetypes so we can play around with what it means to be reembodied in Arda Marred, in a way a philosophical treatise never quite could.

Doesn't mean the story itself doesn't pack a punch. This is plunge the dagger in and twist it around while you're in there why don't you? level angst, and I do mean that as the best compliment.

As I said: damn.

To the extent I'm in a place to make New Year's resolutions, I'd say this makes me want to reread the Silm and maybe write some Tolkien fic of my own again. That wanting is the highest compliment I can muster. Whether I can actually do that is an open question (I'm both tired and very busy with RL), but the desire is real.

Seriously, Silmarillion fans, if you've gotten this far and are still reading me please go and read the thing. For a oneshot especially, it packed an utterly ridiculous amount of wallop.

Sherlockians, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. But sometimes, game just has to take a moment to recognize game.

[aurorawest]

Reading update

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love - 3/5 stars

The Fate of Stars by SD Simper - DNF at pg 32

A Gathering Storm by Joanna Chambers - 4.75/5 stars

I kept getting the Madame Leota room from Haunted Mansion stuck in my head as I was reading this (not a bad thing!). This book has a surprisingly low rating on the Storygraph, and I'm not going to torture myself by looking at the reviews, but I'm assuming it's because of the power discrepancy between Ward and Nick. Clearly it didn't bother me as I really enjoyed the book!

Dionysus in Wisconsin by EH Lupton - 4.75/5 stars

At some point I might get tired of Mid-Century Modern romances, but not this day. This book was super fun, with an interesting world and lovely characters. And a Midwest setting! I've spent a lot of time in Madison, Wisconsin, where this book is set, so I got the added bonus of knowing most of the places pretty well. There was even a shoutout to an obscure piece of Madison history, the Lost City in the Arb. I have to get the second book in the series now!boy

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan - 3.25/5 stars

I gave this book an extra quarter of a star for being written in 2003, when it would have been genuinely pretty groundbreaking. Reading it in 2024, it's very twee and pretty cringey (the queer utopia town would have been a magical fantasy in 2003, not so much now in a lot of places). When Levithan credited Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat books in the acknowledgements, I though, ah. No wonder. Hated those as a teen.

All that said, there's some genuinely lovely writing in this book, and it has its place in the queer canon.

The Greywacke by Nick Davidson - 5/5 stars

Super interesting nonfiction about the discipline of geology and how the early geologic epochs were figured out. Also gave me an idea for a historical romance about gay Victorian geologists.

Home Grown Talent by Joanna Chambers & Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

I think I loved this one more than the first in the series. The social media scandal was perfect, in that it was exactly as absurd as every social media scandal is, and thus hilarious, but also chilling in how even something so stupid can ruin people's lives.

The First Bright Thing by JR Dawson - DNF at pg 1

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves - DNF at pg 30

Reuben's Hot & Cold by M Arbon - 3/5 stars

Slight Foxing Around the Edges by Melissa Polk - DNF at pg 132

Restored by Joanna Chambers - 5/5 stars

Balefire by Jordan L Hawk - 4.75/5 stars

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues by Jess Everlee - 4/5 stars

The Mars House by Natasha Pulley - 5/5 stars

See my brain vomit about this book here. If you've been around here for any amount of time you know all Natasha Pulley's books make me feral. Absolutely no exception here. I cannot believe her first UK publisher dropped her over this book. Idiots! It's wonderful just like everything she's ever written.

In the Case of Heartbreak by Courtney Kaye - DNF at pg 181

The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason - DNF at pg 21

The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun - 5/5 stars (reread)

Just as good as the first time I read it!

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - 4.5/5 stars

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic - DNF at pg 84

Crisped + Sere by TJ Klune - 4.75/5 stars

It actually kind of makes me mad that this series isn't Klune's most famous work, because it's real good. At this point it seems kind of unlikely he's going to continue it, but man, I'd love another book.

These Silent Stars by Chani Lynn Feener - DNF at pg 68

Trailer Park Trickster by David R Slayton - 5/5 stars

See below.

Deadbeat Druid by David R Slayton - David R Slayton - 5/5 star

I LOVE this series. Love love love love. Absolute must read. If you're a fan of KD Edwards's The Tarot Sequence, this series is right up your alley. It seems like there will be more after this initial trilogy, and there's also a spinoff book coming soon which I'm super excited for. Read them!!