#just remembered I am seeing the new insidious tonight

[ghostbeam]

Hi guys<3

[fluentmoviequoter]

I just watched the new insidious can I request dalton where the reader is elise's granddaughter the reader knew their family and the things that happened because when elise was alive reader is always with her, reader is just like elise a psychic like paranormal ability kinda but after Elise died she never used it anymore and kinda angry with the lamber family (esp with josh lmao) then she met dalton again in the school reader is avoiding him but when things got worst for dalton, reader decided to help him:)))) reader gave them a chance(☆▽☆)

Thank you so much for this request! Apologies for the wait! I really enjoyed writing this and would love to write a part 2 with more background/flashbacks if anyone is interested!! I hope this is what you wanted and let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: angst, the beginnings of fluff, descriptions of the Further, spoilers for The Red Door. 2.1k+ words

A Second Chance

Nine Years Ago

“It’s too dangerous now,” Elise said. “I’ll be back sometime tonight, maybe in the morning.”

“What if Dalton needs my help again?” you asked.

“We can go see Dalton tomorrow and make sure everything is alright, but the entity in that house has grown too powerful for you to be around it.”

“Will I get strong enough, like you, one day?”

“Absolutely. Remember how?”

“Keep a steady stride,” you said together, hugging your grandmother before watching her climb into the van with Specs and Tucker.

Specs and Tucker knocked on the door, and you immediately felt their sadness and nervousness. You knew before you actually saw them, but the look in their eyes confirmed your biggest fear. Your grandmother, one of the only people who knew about your abilities, was gone. Last night, she told you that entity was too strong for you, but nothing should have been strong enough to overpower her in the Further, let alone this realm. Falling to your knees, you began to cry as Specs knelt beside you and hugged you tightly.

“How did it happen?” you asked after a few moments.

“Something possessed Josh,” Tucker begins.

“Josh Lambert? He’s dealt with this before, why couldn’t he get free or send a signal?”

Specs shook his head and began to speak, but you cut him off.

“What about Dalton? What did Dalton do to help?”

“Dalton wasn’t there,” Specs answered carefully. “And whatever thing did this is still in Josh’s body. Maybe he can send a signal now, or Elise can help him from the other side, but…”

“I’m not helping him, if that’s what you’re about to ask.”

“But you’re the only one with the knowledge, the power,” Tucker pointed out.

You stand and wipe your tears as you argue, “And he killed my grandmother.”

From that moment, you vowed never to use your abilities again, to leave your knowledge in the past, and never let anything in the Further affect you again.

Present Day

Graduating high school and starting college are two of the worst days of your life because you miss Elise so much on big occasions. Moving into your dorm and adjusting was surprisingly easy though. In fact, everything seems too easy until your roommate asks you to accompany her to a frat house.

“Why?”

“I left my favorite jacket there at the party last night, and I don’t want to go alone. Please?” she begs.

“Fine. But if anything gross or weird happens, I will leave you there and claim your side of the dorm.”

She crosses her heart, vowing everything will be fine, before leading the way to the frat house. The front lawn is littered with empty cups, bottles, and what looks to be diapers. You wait beside her as she knocks on the front door.

“Hey, can I help you?” a girl asks when she opens the door.

“Hi. I was here last night and think I left my jacket; can I look around for it?”

“Of course.”

Your roommate leads the way inside and then asks you to look upstairs.

“I am not going upstairs alone.”

“You’ll be fine. Thanks so much! It’s a light blue denim jacket with black buttons.”

She disappears into the house, so you walk up the stairs, looking around as you climb. You hear a guy reading something in a room to your right, so you decide to go left first, nearly running into someone. Hands on your shoulders keep you upright as an oddly familiar voice apologizes.

You look up and cough out of surprise. “Dalton?”

Dalton’s eyes widen, and he pulls you slightly closer. “Are you alright?”

“Dalton?” you repeat.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s been a long time. What are you doing here?”

“I go here – to the school I mean, not the frat. Wait, are you?”

“In a frat? No.”

A girl down the hall says Dalton’s name and then opens a door. “This one’s dark.”

Your eyes quickly lift to Dalton’s. “Please tell me you’re not messing with the Further again.”

“It’s messing with me,” Dalton attempts to joke.

You shake his hands off your arms and turn around, spotting a jacket matching your roommate’s description draped on a doorknob. Picking it up, you head for the stairs.

“Can I see you again?” Dalton asks.

“Probably not,” you snap, then sigh. Stopping and looking up at Dalton, you whisper, “This is dangerous, Dalton. Make sure you know what you’re messing with.”

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, your roommate rushes forward and grabs the jacket, thanks you for finding it so quickly, then drags you out of the house. Your mind drifts to Dalton, and you force your mind to remember why you don’t affiliate with the Lamberts. Because one of them killed Elise as far as you're concerned.

Assuming that Dalton attends the art school, based on all the pictures he drew when he was younger, you ensure you do not go near those buildings when walking on campus. You know it isn’t Dalton’s fault that Elise is gone, or even Josh’s, but it is much easier to have a person to blame. A person to direct all your buried hate at.

As you enter your dorm building, all of the lights go out, but this is a darkness you recognize. This is a darkness that you vowed to never return to.

“Dalton,” you gasp before dropping your bag and running up the stairs. You look out at every landing, hoping to see Dalton on one of them.

Before you can find him, the darkness begins to fade. You hear the distant sound of a piano playing and realize that Dalton is messing around in the most dangerous realm you’ve ever heard of. Allowing your anger toward the Lamberts to grow, you return to the main floor, retrieve your backpack, and leave. There’s only one group you can call for answers regarding why you got sucked into Dalton’s play-date in the Further.

“You don’t understand, I didn’t do anything, I was wide awake. Someone else went into the Further and I ended up in it too,” you explain.

“How do you know someone else traveled?” Specs asks through the phone.

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you tell him the truth. “Dalton Lambert is here and he told me he’s been messing around with it, or vice versa.”

“He said the Further is messing with him?” Tucker clarifies.

“Yeah.”

“Carl wiped their memory,” Specs says to Tucker, but you make out the words.

“Carl wiped whose memory?”

“Dalton and Josh,” Specs answers. “Nine years ago.”

“So, if he’s saying the Further is messing with him,” you trail off.

“He’s telling the truth,” Tucker finishes.

“And he’s in danger,” you say with Specs.

Hanging up the phone, you pace as you try to think of where Dalton would be or how to contact him. You take a chance and begin walking around campus, looking into all the shadows and hoping that Dalton is alright. You may not like his family, but that doesn’t mean you want him to get hurt.

As you get to the administrative buildings, you prepare to admit defeat and return to your room. Then Dalton enters your sight, leaning against a pillar outside the student health center. You watch from a distance as he stops a girl as she walks out. They talk for a moment, then she walks away.

“Dalton?” you call, walking toward him.

He turns and says your name, meeting you in the middle.

“What happened?”

“They attacked my friend, Chris.”

“In this realm?”

Dalton nods, and you bite your lip, thinking as you look down. “You need help.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Me helping doesn’t change anything. Do you understand that? When this is over, I’m going to walk away and pretend like this never happened.”

Dalton’s eyes drop for a moment. “Yeah, whatever you need to do.”

You nod, then begin to walk with him.

“I should call my brother and see if he remembers the red door, or the hammer,” Dalton says quietly.

You grab his forearm, stopping him. “Red door? The one in the Further?”

“You know what it is?”

“Yeah. No chance you remember the lipstick demon yet?”

“The what demon?”

“Carl did a good job,” you say under your breath. “The red door is home to one of the most dangerous demons in the Further.”

“And the hammer?”

“You don’t remember?”

“My parents said I was in a coma, that’s what I remember.”

“You were awake when your dad tried to kill you.” You can’t keep the bitterness from your voice when you mention Josh.

That comment sparks something in Dalton, and he grabs your hand before running to his dorm, pulling you along with him. When he enters his dorm, you silently watch as he adds a face, Josh Lambert’s, to his painting. It is not nearly as satisfying as it should be to see Josh in the likeness of a monster.

“I sent a picture to Foster. I don’t know what to do now,” Dalton confesses as he stands and faces you.

Dalton closes his eyes, so you say his name. You groan, which grows into a yell, before closing your eyes and forcing yourself into the Further.

“Dalton, what are you doing?” you ask when you catch up with him.

“I didn’t mean to.”

You look around and realize with detached fear where you are.

“We need to go,” you insist, grabbing his arm. “Now!”

A chain appears around Dalton’s ankle, and chairs begin to build a dome in the midst of the lipstick demon’s arrangement of Dalton’s memories. Dalton is pulled to the floor, and you kneel before him, focusing your energy on holding the chairs off.

“I have to go. I’ll be right back.”

Dalton’s hand thrashes out and grabs your wrist as he looks up at you.

“That’s what you said last time.”

“You remember?”

“I’m starting to. I remember you leaving and never coming back.”

“Just like I remember Elise leaving and never coming back,” you counter quietly. “I promise, Dalton, but I have to fight in the real world now. I’ll come back for you. Stay with me, yeah?”

Dalton nods, and you run toward the light, willing yourself to wake up. The chairs crash down around Dalton as you enter your body, prepared to fend off the lipstick demon until Dalton can regain control of his mind. As you attempt to psychically defeat the lipstick demon, you see a sudden change as Dalton’s eyes return to normal. Immediately after, Dalton goes rigid and falls to the floor.

Returning to the Further, you hear Josh telling Dalton to go. You take another step and see Josh holding the red door closed, sacrificing his life to keep everyone from getting hurt. Following Dalton to ensure his safe return, you gasp as your body hits the floor just as you reenter your body. Dalton helps you up and then begins spreading black paint over the image of the red door and possessed Josh. As soon as he’s finished, his phone rings. He ensures his dad is back and then hangs up, turning his attention to you.

“You’re okay? Back to yourself?” You ask, holding your hands behind your back.

“I’m me. Are you alright?”

You shake your head and take a step backward. “Glad you made it out. I saw your dad helped, so maybe you guys can make up after... you know.”

“You saw my dad? You came back?”

“I promised I would.” You take another step back, and Dalton makes up for it by stepping toward you.

“I’m sorry about what happened that night. If I had been there, maybe I could have gone in and gotten my dad out or helped.”

You shrug. “You weren’t. It’s over, nothing we can change now.”

“I really am sorry. If I had known, I would’ve, I don’t know, called or come to see you. Made sure you were okay.”

“Dalton, don’t worry about it.”

“I just miss you. Even when I didn’t remember you, I always felt like something was missing.”

“There wasn’t anything you could do.”

“I could have been a friend.”

You nod, looking toward the door. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“Wait. Thank you. For helping me, coming back. I can never repay you for that.”

“You could try.”

“What?” Dalton furrows his brows as you take another step toward him this time.

“I could use a friend now. I haven’t had one in a while.”

Dalton’s phone rings, and he raises it to show his mom’s contact. You smile at him and open the door, turning at the last second to say, “And maybe we could be more than friends this time. If you want a second chance, which I know I do, call me.”

“A second chance,” Dalton repeats, spotting the piece of paper with a phone number beside his open sketchbook. “I’d like one too.”

[hecohansen31]

Royally Savage

Ivar x Princess! Reader (Modern AU)

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

It’s been a long time I know, and this is... kind of... not the best that I could come up with... but I have been slowly coming up with more and more ideas (I have one half-written, although I am probably going to involve a few new characters).

But I wrote this for @youbloodymadgenius​, since she was nice enough to buy me a few ko-fis and I felt like this is just the least that I could do to return the favor!

I hope you’ll like this!

And if anybody is wondering: this is indeed a continuation to ‘Royally Screwed’!

As always, if you like/want to see more content, don’t forget to share your feedback through either comments or writing something in the reblog option.

SUMMARY: Galas can be insidious shits for sure.

WORDS: 1,9 K

WARNINGS: Incorrect Royal Etiquette, Ableist Insults, People Being Stuck Up, Slight Dirty Talk (do not read it at work...).

Life as the soon-to-be-prince of a small country wasn’t as easy as all those princess movies made it seem.

Even more when your legs weren’t properly working.

A way that (Y/N) had to say that he was ‘a fucking pathetic cripple’.

Not that he even thought that his princess was able to say and utter those words.

She wasn’t certainly completely unknowing of all the curse words of the world, and in fact, she could probably curse in five different languages, but he doubted that she had enough cruelty to properly do it.

But that night she had proved him wrong.

That same night when he was boring himself to death, straining his new braces, to stand up and welcome the guests at the charity ball her father had organized a month before their wedding, suggesting they took this as a ‘way to warm up before the marriage, understanding what a public marriage might entail’.

Which was a way to get Ivar to understand that he wasn’t just made for all of this.

And that he should have left his sole daughter and heir to the throne, alone.

Except he was stubborn but (Y/N) was even more stubborn.

But she was still standing beside him, smiling at the thousandth guest with an unfaltering smile in some kind of horrid nightmare of organza that felt too heavy to carry around and Ivar had a few doubts that she would have been able to properly sat down in a chair.

And that sight never failed to remind him that it was all worth it.

That his princess was definitely worth it and her father could just go to hell, alongside everybody who said that they just wouldn’t have made it.

“… we have just a few more” muttered softly (Y/N), as she finally noticed the death stare with which Ivar had welcomed the sleazy guest that had dared to send a slight look at your cleavage, quite more conservative but yet…

… creeps were everywhere.

“… hold on, sweetheart”.

He felt himself melt inside so deeply that he couldn’t help but shiver lightly and when she backed up her soft look with a smile, he felt his heart speeding up in a way that he wouldn’t have thought possible a long time ago.

But now it happened daily.

“Believe me, I could stand another thousandth more” he shot back, as he puffed his chest, making her laugh loudly, a bit snoring in that adorable way that was completely and utterly not-princessy like.

The side that he had helped you develop, before they had both chosen to go back to her native country.

“… but that doesn’t mean that you should” she mumbled, before lightly raising the monstrosity she called ‘gala dress’, scandalously showing him her beautiful ankles and the pointy high heels she was wearing “… and also I just want to personally sit down, these traps are killing me”.

“I’ll massage your feet if we manage to get through the next five guests” he promised her, making her smirk softly, as she pushed the dress down and turned with a bright and renewed smirk on her face, gently linking their arms at the elbows and leaning in for what looked like a chaste kiss, but appeared to be more.

“… or I could keep them on for a little bit more…” she mumbled deviously and for somebody who knew the perfect and utter etiquette, she dared on continuing deviously “… meanwhile we are in bed… together”.

“Don’t give me these suggestions, if you want to get some sleep tonight”.

“… oh I am trembling already…” she shot back with a fake higher pitch, but moved a bit further away from him to welcome softly an older couples which called her by a sweet nickname, and although she was extremely polite, Ivar knew that by her glance…

… she had no clue who they truly were.

And he couldn’t blame her.

On his first social outings there he had been introduced to more people than he could ever remember…

But who truly seemed to trouble his princess was the man that came forward after the older couple, in an elegant smoking that suited him like a second skin, bringing out the perfectness of his healthy body and he had something royal just to look at.

An obvious show of dominance in his movements, as he puffed his chest forward as if he was some kind of bird trying to court ‘his princess’.

He was used to boys swooning onto her in America, with her pretty accent and the elegant touch you always had even in your club clothes.

But she just had that melting look for him and he never felt like she might change him for a cooler version of himself.

And neither should have this dude.

And yet the slight light of recognition in (Y/N)’s eyes was bright.

“… (Y/N)” he didn’t mutter her title and with the way her eyes reciprocated the glint in his eyes, although with a more casual and calmer note, he didn’t need to.

“… it has been a long time since I last saw you. You went to America and… poof you disappeared”.

His English was perfect and tasted of many schools spent to make it perfect till he managed to sound like he came straight from Oxford.

“I just lost the sense of time, there” her words were cordial, although cheerful and with the way your whole pose tightened itself in the ‘pretty princess’ ‘ one matched with a look of pure cordial coldness “… too much fun and too many programs”.

And Ivar knew that she wasn’t in the slightest at ease.

“I wonder why” his tone instead was a calculated cheerfulness that reeked of royal fakeness.

He definitely didn’t like this guy.

“… when I went there, I just saw badly-dressed people with horrible manners” and he shot Ivar a look as if to say that he should have taken offense to what he said.

And he wasn’t in the slightest sorry for making him feel that way.

Honestly, Ivar wouldn’t have felt sorry for throwing a punch on his way.

“Are you sure that you visited the right part of America?” (Y/N)’s tone was politely saying ‘fuck you’ and the beautiful royally looking man seemed to take it personally with a light scoff that he matched with a smaller smile “… I found it quite interesting and very useful to understand many things”.

And with ‘many things’ she turned to look to Ivar, with those love-sick eyes that he knew he returned whenever they were together and he felt the need to hold her close, gently cuddling her to his chest.

She had discovered that America was interesting, meanwhile he had started believing in love.

The gesture of turning to Ivar, brought him immediately in the conversation which meant that he had to also endure his fakest smirk towards the royally scorned man and gently offered him his hand.

It wasn’t proper etiquette but as (Y/N) had explained to him, charity galas, even more the ones that were opened to celebrities all over the world, were more relaxed occasions, allowing for less formal etiquettes.

But the stuck-up idiot ignored it.

Well, he was definitely being ruder.

And (Y/N) bumped in.

“Might I present you my fiancé, Ivar Lothbrock?” she presented him softly, as she moved to hold onto his arm to make even clear their relationship, which Ivar enjoyed immensely, since he was a little touch-starved…

… just a tad.

“… this is Reginald III Montwald, he is a duke of my kingdom” everything in her words was meant to undermine him.

To keep that pure male arrogance in check.

“I actually… I actually have to say that I am far more than a duke, owning a few lands all over the world…” he was fighting and trying to attract somehow Ivar’s princess’ attention, not that she even was tempted to fall in it.

Honestly (Y/N) looked bored, but she didn’t hold back.

“I thought that you had been prohibited from using those possessions, since they belong to another side of your family”.

She had managed to hit a sore point and Ivar had to hide a small smirk in your neck as he gently moved to give it a small kiss, to give her a bit of his own courage and to thank her for the exciting show.

It was scandalously wrong for them to be so all over each other in public, but he honestly couldn’t care less.

It made him feel damnably good to know that she’d choose him over and over again.

And then Reginald Mont-I-Have-Something-Up-My-Ass hit a sore point as well.

“I also didn’t think that you’d dump me for a cripple”.

Ivar was kind of used to the whole ‘cripple’ thing.

It wasn’t anything that he could hide, and he had collected quite a few annoying nicknames over the course of the years that he had passed in his wheelchair and later on in his braces and crutches.

He had a few favorites.

Certainly, because in the end there wasn’t much that he could do, aside from letting it pass through him.

The bad taste in his mouth still lingered.

But with (Y/N) by his side, he felt like it was just an aftertaste.

And her lips always had a better taste.

Aside from punching people.

Not in front of (Y/N), still.

Also because she honestly looked like she might punch Reginald in the face.

The royally asshole was looking at them both with a smirk that expressed how much satisfaction he felt at the ignorant statement he had just muttered, as if he should have been proud of his idiotic humor.

And (Y/N) wasn’t pleased with it.

Maybe pissed even more than Ivar who was used to it.

“… I dumped you because you were a fucktard who couldn’t even move his ass to pour himself a glass of water without asking for his ‘servants’, as if we are back in Victorian England and not in fucking 1998”.

Her tone was meant not to attract anybody, but it cut right into whatever little dignity Reginald still held up.

“… and there are a few million reasons that I am sure that the medias would love to pick onto, wouldn’t they?” and she turned to the reporter that was basically waiting for her time to shine, a bit bored in a small gala where everything was going ‘oh so well’.

She would have been happy to have an excuse to talk about the drama that was slowly unfolding.

Reginald did try to hold up and say something to fight back.

But (Y/N) disregarded him completely turning away from him, as her hold onto Ivar’s arm became tighter and her soon-to-be-princess swore that he stood taller with the renewed pride he felt at his beloved’s fierce behavior.

Her father had had a million doubts about them, and Ivar would be lying if he said that he didn’t share a few, because (Y/N) was out of this world.

A damn princess.

And he wanted him, a pathetic idiot with anger issues.

But he’d be damned if he didn’t say how much all her love was starting to convince that maybe… just maybe he was worth of her grace.

In any other occasion he wouldn’t have been happy of having been babied like that.

But right now, he felt like he was on top of the world.

And he was definitely going to make (Y/N) keep those pretty pumps in bed.

And use that smart tongue onto him.

 ---

Taglist:

@guiltyfiend​

[spaceskam]

The Desert Three (1)

i’m so excited to finally post this! special thanks to @insidious-intent​ who has listened to me ramble about this and a million other things for some reason

ao3

MISSING TEENS: KATE LONG, JASMINE FREDERICK, and ROSA ORTECHO

Police Find Bodies of Missing Girls Murdered in the New Mexico Desert

Ongoing Investigation On Desert Three; Police Remain Silent On Possible Suspect

Townspeople of Roswell, NM Say They Know Who Is Responsible For Desert Three: What Do The Police Have To Say?

Sheriff Valenti Announces Possible Suspect of Desert Three Murders: A 17-Year-Old Male Student

“Mr. Valenti, please. You have to know I didn’t do this, I-I promise. I was home that night, ask my dad.”

Jim Valenti stared at Alex Manes as professionally as possible. He’d known Alex since he was born, had seen him when he took his first steps, had been the best man at his father’s wedding. He knew this boy. He knew he couldn’t have done it.

But evidence didn’t lie.

“Mr. Manes, your DNA was found near the site where the bodies were found. How do you explain that?” he asked. He watched Alex’s bottom lip quiver, slowly but surely reverting into that little boy who scraped his knee the first time he got ahold of a skateboard. Jim had watched him develop into a young man. And now he got to watch him be stripped of that.

“I don’t know! I swear I wasn’t there. I swear, I swear, I swear,” Alex insisted, voice thick with tears, “Ask my dad! I was home!”

“We questioned your father earlier this morning,” Jim told him honestly, “He said he thought you were home, but he didn’t see you so he can’t confirm.”

Alex’s eyes widened with utter fear. “He’s lying! Mr. Valenti, you know he’s lying!”

“What does he get out of lying about that, son?” he asked. He knew Jesse could be a bit cruel when it came to parenting, but having a murderer for a son only looked bad on him. There was no reason for lying.

“Because he–” Alex started, but he froze and bowed his head, “I don’t know.”

“Alex, is there something you aren’t telling me?” he asked. Alex didn’t answer the question.

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t.”

“Is there anyone who would frame you?” Jim asked. Alex took a shuttered breath, fat tears falling from his face into the table. The parent in Jim wanted to comfort him, but this was an interrogation.

“I don’t know! I-I don’t even talk to anyone, I didn’t piss anyone off,” he said, sniffling, “Well, I got in that fight with Kyle, but Kyle didn’t do it either. He’s an ass–sorry, sir–but he isn’t a murderer. But neither am I!”

“You know, sometimes we do things and we don’t remember,” Jim said, “Is it possible you blacked out?”

“No,” Alex said firmly, “I remember everything that night. I didn’t blackout. I didn’t kill those girls.”

“There’s been a lot of talk about cult imagery,” Jim said, opening the file and pushing the photos of the girls with their handprints and the oddly decorated cave, “Did that have anything to do with this? Was this an initiation thing? Look at photos, son.”

Alex reluctantly looked up, but it was followed by a wounded noise and he clamped his hands over his eyes. “I love Rosa. And I don’t even know the other two! There’s no cult shit, or-or if there is, it wasn’t me! It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me.”

“Okay,” Jim said, pulling the photos away, “Okay, I’m going to go have a talk with the other officers. We don’t have enough to keep you here, but we have too much to let you go. Maybe I can get them agree to house arrest until we find more evidence in either direction.”

Alex rubbed his eyes and nodded.

Jim felt sick as he left the room, becoming more and more conflicted with each thought. His daughter was dead and the main suspect was a boy who felt like a son. But Rosa being his daughter wasn’t public knowledge, nor could it be, so, as far as anyone knew, there wasn’t any conflict of interest.

He just had to figure this out.

-

Maxwell Evans never claimed to be intelligent.

“Liz,” he whispered, “Can I come in?”

Liz looked up from the counter, face dry and determined. Max had expected to see her cry. It seemed fitting that she wasn’t. She slowly made her way to unlock the door for him. 

It was 11:39 PM on the night that it had been publically announced their possible suspect being Alex Manes. Max felt bad about it. Alex was always nice to him. But, at the end of the day, Isobel came first for him. Liz was a close second.

“I think we might have to postpone our road trip,” Liz said. Max exhaled softly and managed a smile for her. That nagging voice in his mind repeated that he’d killed her sister. He ignored it.

“Raincheck?”

“Yeah.”

Liz stared up at him for a moment, kind and curious eyes. She seemed to go through a couple of different thoughts before deciding to step into his space and hug him. Last week, Max would’ve cheered. Today, he just felt worse.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked her. 

“Not really.”

“Okay,” he said, “You can come to me if you need to talk.”

Isobel didn’t have to be there; he felt her judgment. He shouldn’t have offered that. She had told him that after killers placed themselves close to the crime. Coming to Liz was off-limits, she was too close, Max was too weak. 

But Liz was hugging him and that’s all he wanted.

“Thank you. I will.”

-

Michael stood helplessly outside of Alex’s window. He’d hidden behind bushes until he saw Jesse Manes leave and now he was trying to work up the nerve to go talk to him.

He knew he shouldn’t talk to him. This was his fault. This was all his fault. He was the reason there was Alex’s DNA and the reason there was a crime scene to begin with. Why couldn’t he have just been smarter? He could’ve prevented this whole thing.

Michael, despite knowing it was a horrible idea, pounded against the window with his good hand. His left one still throbbed wildly, but that was okay as long as he got to see Alex’s face.

The blinds shifted slightly but didn’t move. He knocked more. The lights turned off.

“Alex, it’s me,” he hissed, “It’s Michael. Open up.”

Slowly, slowly, the blinds lifted. On the other side of the window, Alex stood looking like a ghost of himself. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was pale, his body looking frail in his rumbled up clothing. Michael wanted to drown him in hugs. 

Alex sniffled and unlocked the window, pushing it open. Michael climbed in and wrapped him up in his arms, nearly lifting him off the ground as he hugged him as tight as he could. His sniffly nose and his tiny whimpers filled Michael’s ear. All he wanted to do was tell him everything, but that wasn’t an option.

It would never be an option.

“I just heard what happened,” Michael said after he put him down. Alex stayed close, his hands gripping Michael’s shirt. “Are you okay? What did they say? How did they even suspect you or, like, arrest you? I don’t understand.” That wasn’t a lie. He didn’t understand. 

When he found that Isobel had killed those girls a month prior, he just thought he’d be protecting her. He hadn’t anticipated Alex being roped into this mess. How the hell was he supposed to protect them both?

“I-It was horrible,” Alex said, moving closer and laying his head on his chest, “How’s your hand?”

“Alex, forget about that, how are you?” Alex still was focusing on his hand, so Michael placed it on his back.  “Tell me what happened.” 

“They came to my house in, like, the middle of the night to bring me in for questioning which was super scary. I complied and stuff, but then they arrested me under suspicion because my DNA was at the scene. They even said they had a witness,” Alex whispered. Michael shook his head involuntarily.

“A witness? How the hell?”

“I don’t know! I feel like they’re just targeting me for some reason. I didn’t do it. I don’t know how my DNA got there,” Alex cried, a new wave of tears hitting him. He raised his head to look at Michael in the eyes. “You believe me, right? I didn’t do this.”

“Alex, of course, I believe you.” I know the truth.

Alex relaxed, resting his forehead against Michael’s solemnly. It made it harder to deal with it. When Alex’s eyes opened again, he thought about dropping to his knees and confessing every sin.

“I can’t believe my dad paid my bail and is paying for my house arrest,” Alex whispered, “I’m scared.”

“It’s going to be okay. They don’t have hard evidence or a motive or anything‒they can convict you,” Michael tried. Alex gave an uneasy little smile.

“They do have a motive,” he said, petting Michael’s chest. Michael couldn’t fucking breathe. “They think I’m in a cult. The girls had matching marks and the cave nearby had imagery and… guess who looks like they’re in a cult.”

Alex laughed but Michael didn’t find it funny. He couldn’t go down for this. He couldn’t go down for something Isobel dead. But Isobel couldn’t go down for what Isobel did. What the fuck was he going to do?

“Stay, please? I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” Alex asked. Before Michael could find words, Alex leaned forward and kissed him. It was a much different kiss than the ones they’d had before. This one was seeking comfort, begging for it. As guilty as it made him feel, that was something he could do. 

He kissed him and brought him to his bed and did his best to make them both forget about reality.

-

Jim Valenti rocked back in his chair as he displayed the evidence before him.

Staring down at the face of his dead daughter was… taxing. He’d just gotten to know her, just gotten to love her. He supposed it was his fault for not being more involved from the start. Now, how much more involved could he get?

He remembered the first time he saw a handprint like that on a body in person. It was of an elderly man, a shotgun laid a few feet away from his body. He was taught that an evil alien had killed him for no reason. When he asked about the shotgun, he didn’t get an answer.

Every other time he saw it, it was only in pictures. Until now. Now he had three. That meant there was an alien out in the wild who murdered his daughter. Why her? Of all people, why her?

Her body seemed to be the worst off out of them all. Her handprint was the most visible, the break in her neck the most violent. It almost felt like a sign to him, like they knew about him and wanted to get back at him. Was that even possible? 

He flipped through pages and got to the DNA confirmation. It was a teeny, tiny strand of hair that was found by the entrance of the cave that was too short to belong to any of the girls. They’d sent it for testing and it came back as a close relative to Master Sargent Jesse Manes. The obvious next step was Alex. Well, obvious to everyone else. There had already been chatter that he was suspicious. Dark clothes, makeup, jewelry, music taste. All of it Satan worship apparently.

They held Alex for 24 hours and put a rush on the DNA confirmation. Jim wanted to make them check it again. It didn’t make sense that Alex would do this. Most of all, Alex couldn’t have put handprints on those girls… right?

“Michelle,” he called after thinking too hard about it. His wife hovered by the entrance of his office and he waved her inside. She closed the door behind herself and neared him, leaning against his desk. He stared up at her for a minute in that same admiration he felt every time he saw her. Every fuck up he ever made, she was still there. He was definitely blessed. “Do you remember Lily Manes?”

She furrowed her eyebrows and nodded slowly. “Of course I remember her. We were good friends before she left town.”

“Right,” he confirmed, “Do you remember anything… off about her or Alex? When you’d take the boys to the park or babysat for her, did you notice anything?” Michelle rolled her eyes and pushed off the desk.

“That boy is innocent. I don’t know what you think his mother did to him, but whatever it was didn’t make him a killer.”

“No, no, not that,” he said, grabbing her hand to pull her closer. He thought about pulling her onto his lap, but that felt wrong when the crime scene photos of his dead love child were displayed in front of him. “I mean, was there anything off? Not their relationship, but who she was as a person. Maybe she was sort of… intuitive?” How did he ask if she thought her friend was an alien? 

“What the hell are you getting at, Jim?” she asked, taking her hand away. He sighed, shaking his head. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Jim said. He needed to go to a different source. Besides, it didn’t make sese that Alex was an alien or that Lily was either. Jesse would’ve known that. The only other solution was that maybe one escaped and was getting back at the Manes family. Or, maybe Alex was befriending aliens. None of which made sense, but it had to be something.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at, but Alex is a sweet boy. He cried during The Lion King for crying out loud. He didn’t do this, you need to prove that,” she told him. Jim sighed but couldn’t be angry at her for her insistance. None of this fucking made sense.

“I know, I’m gonna figure it out. You can go back to work,” he told her. She nodded and kissed his head before leaving.

Jim waited until she was gone before sinking into his chair. He needed to go deeper than simply “realistic” options. The fact of the matter was that this wasn’t realistic to the public. He needed to change something before this got too deep.

He had to go to Jesse Manes.

-

“Michael. Michael, wake up.”

Alex shook the boy beside him until he drowsily dragged his eyes open. Alex hadn’t slept. This was the second night in a row Michael had snuck in to sleep beside him, but Alex hadn’t gotten but a few minutes of sleep in all that time. He was far too distracted trying to figure out how to get himself out of this situation. And he thought of something.

“Hmm?” Michael asked, trying his best to act awake. Alex dragged him to a sitting position, eyes wide with excitement.

“I thought of something,” Alex said, “You can be my alibi.”

“Huh?” he grunted. Alex lovingly stroked his hair and his chest. He knew he was asking for a lot, but he was stuck. So, maybe if he loved Michael enough, he would help him.

“The reason I don’t have an alibi and why my dad isn’t saying he saw me is because of what happened in the shed. And, and I know it’s really hard to come out like that, but you’re 17 so maybe they won’t put your name in the papers. All you have to do is say that I couldn’t have done the murders because you were with me and my dad caught us and hurt you and-and, God, I know it’s horrible and I really wouldn’t ever ask you to do this if it wasn’t important, but you’re all I have. You have evidence of what happened and I’m sure there’s… there’s still blood to prove it,” he said, never stopping the petting so Michael would never take it the wrong way. 

Still, Michael seemed to wake up real fast and he was moving away from Alex.

“No,” Michael said, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. Alex tried to keep a straight face, tried to not get his feelings hurt. 

“No?” Alex clarified. Michael’s breathing seemed to get heavier by the minute. 

“I don’t… I just…” Michael let out a harsh breath before looking at Alex. “You can’t just ask me to do something like that.” Alex tried not to look pathetic as he scrambled off the bed.

“I know, I know it’s big, but Michael… you’re all I’ve got. I’m going to go to prison,” Alex said. He hated himself for asking this. He hated himself for pulling this card. “Please. Please do this for me.”

Michael wouldn’t look at him.

“I-I can’t be your alibi, Alex. What if they ask me questions I can’t answer or request a DNA sample or think I helped you? What if they send me back to my foster parents? What if they arrest your fucking father and then no one is there to pay for your house arrest? There’s a million fucking reasons I can’t,” Michael said. Alex’s stomach twisted and it hurt. He gulped softly and held back tears. He cried too much.

“I need your help,” Alex said softly, “You’re my only hope.” 

Michael stood with his back to Alex, seemingly rigid. Alex was trying really hard not to cry. He was at risk to lose a lot, but somehow losing Michael hurt worse. He needed someone on his side. Michael was all he had.

“Please, don’t be mad at me,” Alex whispered. He was shaking and feeling like he was two seconds away from sobbing. He needed Michael on his side. “I shouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t, I’m sorry.”

Michael eventually turned to face him and he grabbed Alex’s neck with his good hand, making their foreheads meet in the middle. Tears rolled over Alex’s cheeks and he wanted to scream. All he wanted was an alibi. That’s all he wanted.

“I don’t want to go to prison,” he told him instead. Michael nodded, wiping his tears away.

“I know, but I can’t be your alibi. If I can help some other way, I will, but I can’t do that. I can’t tell them about that night,” Michael said. Alex nodded slowly. “I’m here for you though. If you need me to come and help you calm down every night, I can, no problem.”

“Okay,” Alex said. Michael moved his hand to Alex’s heart, rubbing his thumb in small cirles.

“I just can’t do that”

“Okay.”

Michael left soon after that, left Alex alone and pondering what to do now. He needed to do something. Sitting here and waiting to be found guilty for a crime he didn’t commit wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t be another person who spent their lives in jail for something they didn’t do. 

He was going to find a way out.

-

“I am going to kill you both! What is wrong with you?!” 

Very few times in her life had Isobel felt so full of absolute rage. Both of her brothers had their heads hung. Both of them, both of them, had gone and spoken to that she had pretty deliberately stated were off limits. Liz was off limits from the minute the murder took place; Alex was off limits the minute he got accused of the murder. Simple as that.

“You didn’t see him, Izzy. I had to be a total dick to him,” Michael said, pouty and pathetic, “He just wants me to help. And it’s my fault that I can’t.”

“And Liz’s best friend just got accused of her sisters murder. She needs someone,” Max tried. Isobel let out an incredulous laugh, putting her hands in her hair as she paced. Her heart felt like it was going to explode from stress.

“Guys, I know it sucks, but we don’t have a coice but to choose us over them,” she said slowly. They nodded like they understood, but they clearly didn’t. “They are humans. They have human consequences to what’s going on. Us, though? If we’re found out, we get all the shit in the world.”

“Okay, but me helping Liz doesn’t do anything!” Max argued.

“Yes, it does!” Isobel yelled back, “Both of you are both in such a state of fucking puppy love that you’re going to end up exploding from guilt! And I know, I know it hurts, but if we get caught, we are going to become science expeirements. People are going to fear everyone like us. We’re going to be fucking dissected and tortured and treatd like scum and I don’t want that. I know you don’t either.”

They both nodded and hung their heads still like wounded puppies. Isobel took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She’d been feeling like she was going to pop for a month because of them. All she wanted was to protect them from what happened that night. That’s what sisters did.

“Michael,” Isobel said calmly, “I know you care about him and I know this is hard. But you can’t take back what happened so we just have to stay away.”

Michael closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “Away, like, completely? Like I can’t be with him anymore?”

“If they find out that he has a secret boyfriend, you are immediately going to be put under fire. They’re going to wonder why he didn’t mention you and they’re going to question you. If they find out about the fact that Alex lied about what happened that night, then how long is it before they ask for a DNA sample? How long is it before they notice the DNA isn’t human? How long is it before they connect the deaths to us?”

She didn’t say that she was scared that they already had DNA samples. If there was a single strand of Alex’s hair, then what else did they leave? Hell, Michael was bleeding when it happened. How long was it before they realized the DNA they found was different? Not human, not animal, not plant. She would be terrified for the rest of her goddamn life.

Max reached over and grabbed Michael’s shoulder, giving him a nod of solidarity.

“We can get through this without them, man,” he said. Isobel knew it was a support move and knew that Michael clearly wanted to reject it, but he nodded.

“Good,” Isobel said softly, “Now I need a nap. My head is fucking killing me.”

-

Alex was just finishing up when there was a knock on his window.

Stupidly, selfishly, he thought it was Michael. He quickly moved the blinds to see Kyle Valenti of all people on the other side. He blinked a few times, wondering if he should even open the window to let him speak. 

“Alex,” Kyle said, “Let me in.”

“Why?”

Kyle looked around before saying, “I know something.”

Reluctantly, Alex opened the window and Kyle climbed inside in the least graceful way ever. Alex took a step back as he fell to the floor. He stood to his feet with no comment, eyes wide to share the information he had. He qucikly shut the window behind him.

“Is anyone else home?”

“No.”

“Any the bracelet‒you already did your little techy thing on it, right?” he asked. Alex furrowed his eyebrows.

“If you mean made sure it didn’t have a microphone, then yes.”

Kyle grinned, “Fucking genius. Okay, so, here’s the deal. I broke into my dad’s office at home and may or may not have made copies of all the legal stuff he has at home.”

Alex’s eyes widened as he took the bag off his back and dumped a bunch of documents on his bed. All of it pertained to the case and it was ton of stuff that they hadn’t released to the public. Alex sat on the bed and picked a paper up, reading a transcript of his own interrogation.

“Holy…”

“And I stole my mom’s key and I know, like, the entire layout of the station. If you can help me with the tech stuff, turn off cameras, I can make copies of the rest and we can figure this out,” Kyle explained. Alex blinked hard and looked up at him. He’d never been more confused in his life. 

“Why are you trying to help me?” he asked. Of all people to offer to help him and commit fucking crimes for him, he didn’t expect it to be Kyle. Yet, here he was.

“Look, I know I’ve been shitty to you the last couple years.”

“You think?” 

“But I know you didn’t do this,” Kyle said sincerely, “If you go to prison, I won’t be able to make up for being a dick. So I’m gonna figure out the real killer and you’re going to help me.” 

Alex licked his lips and felt a renewed excitement in his system. This felt like old times. Granted, they used to solve fake murders and this was now the real deal, but still. 

“Okay. Give me a few minutes, I was just hacking into the bracelet to make sure it always detected me to be at home,” Alex told him, admittedly wanting to show off. Kyle grinned all wide again.

“Perfect. I’m gonna write out a game plan.”

Alex nodded and went back to his computer.

Alex needed help and while he would’ve liked it to have been Micahel, the sheriff's son wasn’t a bad choice.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#30)

5x07–aka the return of rivalry week, oh my!

under the cut ya go:

Omg Jess wants to work at a football camp?! So precious!

Why is Buddy here with equipment looking for outlets? OMG they’re keeping watch of the field to keep anyone from doing the shit they did with tooth picks and trucks and such last rivalry week?!?! Lmaooo

OMG JASON’S HERE??? I almost forgot about this dude, aw his kid is doing well! That’s lovely. Aw Eric gave him a Lions hat and he’s married and is a successful agent? So proud!

“You know, people are talking about you, there’s a lot of heat.” OMG Jason got a call about Eric?!?! Wow I think I’m starting to see where the endgame is going for this show.

“We ALMOST got the daughter out of the house.” Lol.

Oh geez Vince’s dad being excited makes me nervous. How did he get these nice ass sneakers I am sus

HE GOT IT FROM TMU?? That’s def illegal honey no no

Oh good Vince seems to know he can’t take them. Although I SMELL CONFLICT

Oh god the dad’s moving in permanently? I’m as concerned as Jess is right now.

LionHater.com??? Omg there’s no internet where they’re watching the field. 😂 Oh shit they know about Vince’s record? “He’s got a football team full of violent criminals.” Oh you racists were looking for an excuse to unleash your vitriol on these poor kids who have criminal records bc they weren’t blessed to be born on the “correct” side of town! Smh.

Omg this is racist AF, this website is disgusting 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes Eric, run into the panthers boosters club and rip them a new one!!!

And yes, Tami, make Julie help out and pay her dad back for the car, absolutely! She needs to face some consequences and not be too comfy at home.

Eric is right, the Panthers are trying to get in their heads—and in the most insidious, racist/classist way possible!

“You think if the colleges see that stuff they’re still gonna call? They’re still gonna want me?” Ohh Vince nooo. Eric saying it’s not gonna matter feels...overly optimistic.

“It doesn’t matter how many games we win, how many touchdowns i throw, all they see is a bunch of thugs, Coach. Everybody thinks it but they never say it.” UGH yes fuck me UP, young Michael B. Jordan! I’m emotional!

Aww Luke and Becky flirting while Becky’s with the baby and Billy is in the backyard training with Luke LOL

Oh god Billy’s advice for Luke wooing Becky by ignoring her is....bad!

Luke didn’t know Mindy works at the landing strip? “She still works there? Part time? Like weekends?” Lol

Luke don’t listen to him! Bad advice!

“Let’s have a barbecue.” “A barbecue?” “A morale-building barbecue.” Lol I love Eric’s disbelief at Tami’s suggestion considering all the drama the last time this bbq happened lol

Omg Jason Street gave a college Eric’s number? OH SHIT for a college HEAD COACH JOB? Damn!

Poor dejected Vince 🥺 “I feel like I’m playing with a fixed deck, Pop.” YOU AREEE ugh

Vince’s dad has been talking to schools all day??? That’s like explicitly what Eric told him not to do omfg

“I ain’t gonna let you fall.” That was a sweet childhood Vince anecdote but I don’t believe Vince’s dad one bit.

Lol Tami is making Julie go shopping for a 300 person BBQ?! Hilarious.

Eric and Tami annoying the living shit out of Julie in the hopes she’ll go back to school seems like a great plan they’re doing here!

This makeshift gym in Billy’s backyard with the baby strapped to his chest drinking while Luke works out I cannot 😂

“Oh some of it didn’t blend correctly” Billy says as Luke pulls a huge leaf out his mouth after drinking his smoothie omfgggg I’m dead

Oh geez Vince’s dad is talking him up to Jason? Wild.

Aw Jess is so nervous about her recommendation letter. Eric called the coach for her? Aw!

“Somewhere you’re comfortable, somewhere that’s a good fit.” Awww Jason that’s a wholesome answer to Vince’s dad being so extra with Coach.

Helppppp this is so cringe, he’s like straight up heckling Eric and his rep as kingmaker.. “You got a problem there, right?” “I sure do.” Jason really is all grown up.

Aw what a nice bbq! Julie and Jason catching up!

Oh god Luke is really straight up ignoring Becky and flirting with Julie??? Ugh I hate this.

Vince’s mom is celebrating too soon about this repaired Vince-dad relationship.

Yes Eric, confront Vince’s dad! It’s time! Now he’s just straight up saying he “doesn’t remember it like that” about the agreement the three of them made. Smh.

Oh geez is Vince’s dad like lowkey threatening Eric 😬

Oh wow Tami is going up to Burleson to get Julie’s assignments and books?! Geez. “While you’re up there why don’t you tell them they’ve got a teacher sleeping around with the students?” TRUE

“Thanks for setting up the bbq and everything. Thanks for what you do, thanks for our two beautiful daughters. Thank you for doing the laundry.” —Eric Taylor, teaching all men how to be a husband. my heart! Lmaooo then he said “do you wanna fool around?” after and then she said yes but fell asleep on him instead I’m dead

AH Tami comes face to face with the TA!!!!!! I literally yelled OH MY GOD when he said he was the TA Derek!!

“I’m here to pick up an independent study for Julie Taylor.” AHHHH “How is she?” YOU DONT HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW, FUCKFACE!

This is so cringe omfg

Yeah Derek feel bad you preyed on SOMEONE’S DAUGHTER

“I’m gonna mash up every bone in his body.” Lol Luke trying to sound aggressive is so funny.

Luke is being so RUDE to Becky Jesus I hate this

Ew Jason hyping up the Panthers, I get that it’s his team but blech they’re all such douchebags now.

Oh god did Luke act too aggressive? That dude is not getting up....

“Another big hit from Luke Cafferty, who’s bringing the pain.” Lol “these boys just do not like each other.” I mean they don’t call it rivalry week for nothing!

Yeeesh Vince’s dad in the stands with the recruiter watching the game is so cringe, ah!

“Calm down they’re having fun.” Excuse me Billy? I’m taking back all my praise for him from last episode. Grow up Billy god!!!!

Omg Vince is switching the offense bc his dad told him to....? Oh god

“A good ol fashioned Texas butt whooping.”

“There is no love lost here.” “That’s not who we are, Eric.” WHOA identity crisis on the field. These kids were triggered by everyone in town basically calling them thugs which is frankly understandable but WOW

Oh wow Eric is yelling at Vince. Oh shit his dad is in his HEAD. “He’s looking out for me!” then immediately into the “EAST SIDE” chants.

“No I mean like what are you DOING?” Thanks Becky! Luke is acting weird af!!!!!!

“You like it when I’m nice to you???” Luke is genuinely confused. “Ok I’m so sorry. Someone told me if I wanted you to like me, I had to ignore you and blow you off.”

Aw yes they like each other! Cute! KISSSSS! At least something positive happened this episode!

He’s laughing and saying “it totally worked” um no NOT THE CORRECT TAKEAWAY lol

Yesss Tami walking in and revealing she didn’t go to the game by dropping all of Julie’s college books on the coffee table, baller mom move!

“Did you talk to Derek. What did he say?” “You need to study.” LOLSAME Tami, stop thinking about this asshole, Julie!

“All those penalties, all that smack talk.” Damn etiquette really matters! Now coach Taylor’s rep is on the line?!

“Don’t feel like celebrating tonight” says the other old school coach. Damn.

Anddd Vince and his dad are talking to a recruiter openly. Wow! What a show!

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.17 HALLOWEEN NIGHT/NOVEMBER 1st 5:50 AM

Haddonfield, Illinois

Reverend Robert Taylor dipped the sponge in the bucket of soapy water, pulled it out, squeezed the excess water out of it, and then put it to his egg covered front door with a scowl. The egg had dried up and was now taking a certain level of “elbow grease” to remove. He would have removed it right away, That is if I thought the stupid cops would do anything about this insidious attack on my property, he thought.

Instead they had come down hard on him for calling the authorities. The Reverend had not understood why the officers who had come to his door had seemed so rushed—so flustered. The verbal abuse by Sheriff Brackett had definitely taken him aback, reminding him of the scoldings his grandfather used to give him when he was a boy, and, embarrassingly to himself, he had totally wilted in front of the Sheriff

He had no right to speak to me like that, he thought. I have every right to call the police when my property is being defaced by filthy little urchins.

The Rev held the sponge in one hand and scrapped a piece of yellow egg out of the door-frame with his thumb fingernail. Leigh's been mad at me every since I asked Kelly Willis to the prom when everyone knows he wanted to go. This thought made Reverend Robert Taylor crack a smile to himself.

As the events of the evening progressed however, Rev Taylor now knew why the police had been so flustered. It was all over Channel 7 out of Peoria, and he could hear the bubbly little blonde news anchor Holly West echoing through his house, and see her perfect hair-sprayed mane through the glass windows beside the door that peaked into the living room. He cocked his head so he could see her better. That's a face worthy of a good look, he thought.

“Again...we have reports that at least thirteen people are deceased across Warren County tonight, and three injured in a bizarre string of incidents stemming from the escape of a mental patient from an area psychiatric center, as well as a possible connection with the fugitives known as the Chumway brothers, who have been terrorizing the Mississippi Valley for the last twenty-four hours. We're going live to Candace Baccauli who is out at a local diner off Interstate 57 in Warren County....Candace?”

The shot changed to a pretty young black lady holding an umbrella in front of Jamie Lee's Diner. Reverend Taylor knew it well, everyone in Haddonfield did. The restaurant was what you would call a “local staple”. No one in Haddonfield had ever seen it like this though. You could see the front doors behind the reporter were blown out and the area around the diner was covered in yellow police caution tape. There were still some cruisers parked behind her as well, red and blue lights flashing. Revered Taylor bent down and got some more soap on his sponge and put it back to the door...listening to his TV inside.

“Yes Holly, I am at a scene of unspeakable carnage just outside of the small town of Haddonfield. Here, at a well known establishment in Warren County known as Jamie Lee's Diner, a person or persons, many believe to be the fugitive Chumway Brothers, opened fire, killing eight persons and robbing the store registers and safes. This however, is just the tip of the iceberg for Warren County on what has turned out to be a horrific Halloween night that residents here will remember forever.”

The scene cut to a pre-recorded report chock full of various crime scenes around the town that over the last hour or so, Revered Taylor had almost gotten used to seeing. Candace's voice droned on over the report:

“The night of terror for Warren County law enforcement began late ‪Thursday night‬ and ‪Friday morning‬ when Michael Myers, an escape mental patient being held at Smith's Grove Psychiatric Hospital apparently escaped, killing six employees of the hospital before fleeing into the surrounding area.

US Marshals set up a search perimeter ‪around 2:30 Friday morning‬ for Myers, while they were also already on high alert for Lloyd and Lee Chumway, two brothers believed to be fleeing law enforcement in the area, wanted for brutal murders in the Biloxi Mississippi area.”

Revered Taylor soaped up his sponge again. “The day of Judgment is near at hand,” he said to himself, stretching his back out and looking off his front porch toward the still pouring rain and the dark wet road in the distance. “Behold He says, 'I am coming soon.'”

NEXT>>

[wkm-detective-abe-squad]

All Together, Prologue and Part 1

Making A Plan

Word Count: 2257

Based on this AHWM AU

Warnings: None

Author’s Notes at the end

Some say that the night is dead, that it is silent and empty, but that is never quite the case. As the moon rises and the world is lulled to sleep there is always someone, somewhere who resists the darkness’s lullaby. An owl, willingly or not, left to their own devices as the stars above make their journey across the skies.

Tonight, however, seemed to be filled with a whole flock, ruffling their feathers as wide eyes search for something far from their grasp, something that cannot be hunted by one alone.

With their skills, their experience, and their hints of jumbled memories, success appears to be in reach, despite the secrets, the conflicts, and the haunting truth.

However,

It is also important to note the average owl’s brain only takes up about ⅓ of its skull.

Which can equate to roughly the size of a thimble in some species.

…

Do with that information as you will.

________________________________________________________________

Blue and red hues colored the moonlight gently streaming into the lab, as the steady hum of machines filled the void with quiet noise. At the hour of 4 am, the halls should have been emptied hours ago, but of course science never sleeps, so neither did the scientist. It wasn’t healthy, she that more than anybody, but she considered it a small price to pay for what was at stake.

At least that’s what she told herself. It was difficult to label what exactly was at stake when nothing simply made sense anymore. Nothing was adding up in the way they should, and the scientific method she held on to appeared to be failing her at every turn.

The first indicator of something being amiss was the time. Yes, staying up till 4 in the morning was horrendous for a person’s circadian rhythm, but that wasn’t the major issue. The major issue was that the sun was shining bright, and the clock was reading 2:37 pm up until she had turned from her desk until just moments ago to be met with darkened windows. Yes, perhaps Einstein’s theory of relativity could be to blame, but she wasn’t that absorbed in her work… okay maybe she was, but even she had to get up once in awhile in the span of roughly 13 hours that had somehow passed in an instant.

The second indicator was a feeling that was gnawing at her from the inside out. A sense of Deja vu that would never leave, a constant feeling of a word stuck on the tip of her tongue, and bits and pieces of memories in her brain that seemed logically impossible, even in her dreams.

What did it all mean?

Despite the piles of handwritten notes strewn across her desk, she felt completely at a loss. At least she had the newly built Time Anomaly Tracker… that she had no recollection of building, to show for.

Maybe she just needed a break from it. Maybe things would make more sense in the morning after what little sleep she could get.

But first she needed to slow down the wheels turning in her mind. It was a good thing there was an old TV in the break room, that should do the trick. It didn’t take her long to plop down onto a dusty couch and grab the remote. Hopefully it would be enough to distract her from all her thoughts. 

-click-

“Order your bubbles today-”

-click-

“Welcome to Warfs-”

-click-

“You think she cares? Bad Dog!”

-click-

So picky, she couldn’t help but drone through the different channels until a shaky camera and a stuttering voice caught her attention.

“Hello everybody this is Jim, and this is my associate Jim. Welcome to this Jim News Exclusive -stay low, stay low- Tonight, we bring to you-” the reporter paused for a moment to dramatically point to the camera, as if this was a message directly to Rose Beauregard herself, “live footage from the scene of the crime. The crime of robbery. A robbery so mysterious, so mystifying that no one could even pathom how the the robberors could have broken into this heavily guarded museum in the first place!”

From the way they were sneaking around, it appeared that the reporters had broken into the museum. It was actually quite impressive considering the lines of caution tape that wrapped some exhibits like Christmas presents, the addition of a laser based alarm system, and the obscene number of patrolling guards and policemen that could be easily seen in the background.

"We must be careful Jim we don’t know what dangers may be lurking abo- oh hand me the steak," it was thrown off camera, quickly followed by a distant voice cheering in delight about the free snack, “The Old Steak Trick, works most of the time.”

Soon, maybe a little bit too soon, the Jims approached a very much unlocked and strangely unprotected vault. 

“Here it is, the grisly scene. Not one, not seven, not four, but two insidious individuals committed the reprehensible act of theft in this very vault. Yes, the item that once here is no longer here. It has disappeared, off with the perpetrators. We have no confirmation about exactly what it is they actually stole, but we have our theories. It could have been a treasure map or an ancient salt shaker, it may be from another world or the source of a time anomaly, it could be fairy (like the ones we learned about in history class) or the world’s oldest picnic basket, it could be all of these, it could be nothing at all, the possibilities are endless.”

“Now I’m sure many of you watching at home are shaking in utter fear, I am too, but fear not. Thankfully for you innocent, or perhaps not so innocent civilians, justice hit them hard, even harder than how Cousin Jim was hit by that bus, and a great many times quicker. Our inside resource has informed us Jims about the fates of Mark Iplier and his assistant Y/N. They are already locked up, far, far away at Happy Trails Penitentiary to never see the light of day again. We are safe, for now.”

“However, there is still a mystery to be solved. For unknown reasons, the object of question has not been returned to its rightful place. It’s tragic on every degree, that poor stolen object, it must be so scared and alone now that its captors are behind bars. But that is why we have taken it upon ourselves to get answers. And this time I swear, on every Jim ever to Jim, that we will find an answer to whatever, wherever, whenever, and whyever this thing is-”

The Jim’s voice was cut off by another’s, which resulted in the reporters and their sole viewer being being thrown off guard. In their hasty escape, the camera tumbled to the ground, making it even more difficult to decipher who the new person was. From the small glimpse, it didn’t appear like they worked at the museum, nor were they dressed as any law enforcer. Nevertheless, they didn’t seem so glad to see the trespassers.

“You two again!? Why won’t you quit?!?” was the last thing to be heard before the screen was claimed by static.

The scientist simply sat on, dumbfounded by whatever the hell she just watched. Her head was filled with so many questions she wasn’t even sure where to begin. There was a heist at a public museum, yet no one knows what was stolen? How were the perpetrators already in jail? Didn’t the crime just happen? When was the trial? And why did everything seem like it was…

Out of order.

“Mark Iplier… Y/N… A time anomaly”

It all finally clicked. 

This had all happened before. Well, sort of. The events were different as far as she remembered. Thankfully it appeared she was no longer in a timeline riddled with the undead and raiders, and undead raiders. However… if she had already destroyed the anomaly before, all of the time-space issues should have been fixed right? Unless, of course, her original hypothesis about of all this was wrong. Perhaps it wasn’t the box causing all the trouble, maybe, it was Y/N and maybe this Mark causing the trouble. The strangeness always seemed to be triggered by them afterall. 

Too many of her questions were still left unanswered, which only served to fuel her curiosity and need to fix this once and for all. However, this time Rose was no longer at a complete loss, she now had a lead, which only meant one thing:

Off to Happy Trails Penitentiary.

________________________________________________________________

Blue and red hues colored the moonlight blanketing the courtyard, as the blaring call of ambulance sirens added to the usual chaos of the night. 4 am was too late for any of this, but crime never slept, and apparently neither did any of the criminals. Which in turn led to a very sleep deprived and grouchy warden that now that had to deal with one prisoner being punched through the wall and another pulling off a magic disappearing act.

Not to mention the holes. There was a giant hole in the bottom of his office, several even larger holes in the cell walls, and another that was vaguely human shaped and a little bit too disturbing to deal with at the moment. It felt like the place was built out of goddamn graham crackers.

At least the injured prisoner was properly dealt with, Mark Iplier, or Asshole Mark as the other prisoners called him, broke too many bones for the staff to handle so he was sent off to a nearby hospital to recover. The warden didn’t mind, he was causing too much trouble anyways going off and asking for his personal belongings.

And speaking of the two’s personal belongings, the box they had arrived with just so happened to disappear with Y/N, who was otherwise known as *Insert Ridiculous Prison Nickname Here*. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to open it yet and now it was gone. However, that wasn’t the worst of it. Y/N was gone, or perhaps very good at hide and seek. He was hoping for the latter but after several hours of guards and prisoners counting and looking, it didn’t seem very likely.

The warden was offended on all accounts by the newest prisoner's conduct. There hadn't been a breakout in years and then suddenly they waltz in and think that they could just waltz back out like it was no big deal. Though yet again, he doubted the charade would last long. Most of the criminals of Happy Trails wouldn’t last a day out in the real world. They even sang a song about how they never wanted to leave. It would be soon enough until they came crawling back again, and when they did, they were going to face all the wrath of Warden Dave Murderslaughter. They were going to get rehabilitated harder than they would ever get rehabilitated before, whether they liked it or not.

But for now he had to play the waiting game. Somehow, someway or another, he was going to take the reins over once again. This was his penitentiary after all, and what kind of warden would he be if his jail wasn’t in proper order?

________________________________________________________________

At this hour the world seemed almost monochrome. It was an hour in which one should be snuggled up in bed, or in some cases, a jail cell safe from the dangers of the world. It was for sure not an hour where someone should be braving the summer night’s heat as they wander through tall grass, with no one other than the insects eating them alive as a companion.

Y/N had escaped, that was a given, but that didn’t mean they felt free. Once everyone knew they escaped, the hunt would be on. All they could think of at the moment was to carry on forward, but they knew they’d have to think of a plan eventually. If only Mark was there with them… he was always the one to point out their options.

But now they were all alone, truly alone… Wow, when was the last time that happened? Of course they couldn’t remember, during all these adventures memory never seemed like a necessity. With every bizarre scenario that came along, it was difficult to process the present as it was. Trying to analyze the past was a whole other be a feat in itself. As Yancy said, “The past ain’t the kind of thing to be trifled with.” It was the future they really needed to worry about right now.

They had to forge their way out of this mess somehow, but they couldn’t do it all by themselves. They needed to find Mark, or at least some they could trust, they needed to make sure no one else would be looking for them, and they needed to learn the truth about the box they had gone through so much trouble to steal. In it was a key as far as they knew, but inside they knew that there had to be more going on. Something that perhaps Mark wasn’t telling them about.

So now they had… something that resembled a plan. They were still unsure of the road ahead, but perhaps if they followed that plan… and don’t deviate from it… everything might just turn alright in the end after all. 

________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading, it’s much appreciated :) Future parts should have less POV switching, this is just mainly to set up where each character is at starting out. (Also please don’t quote me on the owl facts, I was just trying my best to make a dramatic metaphor) 

Tagging: @thatforgottenbasilisk @thecatchat @statictay @gay-spaghetti @captainsaltypear @chelseareferenced

[faveficarchive]

Justice in Walsas: Part 2

By Enginerd

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: Gabrielle is losing sleep over a recurring dream, so she sets off with Xena to try and figure out what it’s all about. On the way, they just might save a kingdom in peril.

She decided to return to the makeshift hospital but not before getting a drink of water from a water barrel. The excitement of the day worked up her thirst. She noted that the guards must have been thirsty as well, spotting the half dozen or so empty barrels. After getting her fill, she turned to find Gabrielle coming from the labyrinth.

Xena thought of Lila's advice and decided it best to take it. After all, what could she do for Gabrielle?

"Not so bad when you know its secrets." Gabrielle pointed to behind her having gotten through the death traps alive.

"I think I should get back to Sarah and Meleager," Xena quickly mentioned. Gabrielle knew that was an excuse to get away from her.

"Oh." Gabrielle responded, hiding a deep hurt. She must have no respect for me, Gabrielle thought. It doesn't matter how many labyrinths I get through, Gabrielle thought, the bottom line was that she was a burden that Xena was tired of bearing.

That evening, while tending to others, Xena watched Gabrielle with Sarah and Meleager. Gabrielle had picked up so many skills in their time together, including medical skills. This made Xena both proud and sad - the result of this was the disintegration of their friendship.

Meleager awoke from his herb aided sleep. "Gods I hate archers," he grumbled evoking a smile from Gabrielle.

"I know what you mean." Sarah spoke as well, now up.

"This may not be the time for this but....I am in need for a Captain of the Guard and I understand from a VERY good source that you would be perfect." Sarah smiled. Meleager looked over to Gabrielle with a raised eyebrow.

"Great idea - but don't look at me!" Gabrielle denied any involvement. Sarah laughed then coughed.

"It was my other spy, ah, sister. And Gabrielle, I have the perfect job for you," Sarah's eyes twinkled. "Minister of Cultural Development!" Gabrielle smiled recalling the origin of that job many years ago in Poteidaia.

"Yes! I accept!" Gabrielle jumped at the offer, laughing.

Xena couldn't believe her ears. Gabrielle had decided to stay. She was staying. The bard was not going to be by her side. A dejected Warrior Princess left.

Chapter 8 - She's Gone?

Xena, as usual, prepared her pack for her morning departure. There wasn't much to pack and Xena had packed for travel thousands of times. She could easily do that chore in the morning but Xena needed something to do. Purposeful and loud footsteps coming towards her room drew Xena's attention away from her packing. Part of her hoped it was Gabrielle, to tell her she changed her mind about staying. Yet another part of her hoped it wasn't, because Xena was convinced Gabrielle was staying.

Exhaling, Xena prepared to face Gabrielle. "All right, what's the idea of planning to travel tomorrow and not telling me? Thanks to Lila, I found out. You don't really give me a lot of time to prepare." Gabrielle complained as she barged in the room without knocking.

"You knew this time was coming." Xena said solemnly.

"Yes, but you know I hate good byes. You must be really anxious to get back on the road," Gabrielle remarked trying to understand her friend's sudden desire to leave. The comment surprised Xena. Gabrielle can't possibly think this is easy for her.

"You didn't even mention leaving tomorrow until, come to think of it - you haven't even told me yet!" Gabrielle was annoyed again.

Xena raised her eyebrow. "And when were you going to tell me of your new position?" Xena was hurt that Gabrielle didn't discuss that with her.

"What?" Gabrielle remembered the "position" but did not understand what that had to do with anything. "My position?" Gabrielle asked, confused. Xena didn't want to fight. Not on the last night.

"Look, I want you to know I understand why you took the position and I fully support your decision." Xena was trying to be big about this.

"Thanks" Gabrielle said flatly, still confused.

"Thanks?" Xena repeated. "Thanks?" She repeated again, not believing how cold Gabrielle was.

"What do you want me to say?" Gabrielle shrugged.

Xena stood there amazed. As she did when she was a warlord, Xena put on her warrior's mask, burying her emotions deep. She quietly looked at Gabrielle.

Gabrielle was not in the mood for guessing games with Xena. She was tired and would talk to her in the morning. "Good night Xena," Gabrielle sighed and rolled her eyes as she left.

In the morning, Gabrielle rose later than she expected. Her late night goodbyes and the plush castle bedding made it impossible to get up.

"Boy, if Xena was in a bad mood last night, she'll really be annoyed that I'm so late." Gabrielle reflected with mild panic as she rushed ungracefully around the room getting dressed and gathering her things. She almost tripped as she sprinted to the garden.

Lila waited for her in the garden. The look on her face made Gabrielle apologize.

"Ok, ok, I know I'm late. I couldn't..." Gabrielle didn't see Xena. "Where's Xena? She's really mad isn't she?"

Lila smirked. "I'll say. Xena left Gabrielle. The stablemen said she took Argo at dawn." The words were heard but didn't register. Gabrielle looked around.

"She's gone?" Gabrielle repeated, her fears realized. Lila nodded.

"Why would she leave without you?" Lila asked. Gabrielle wasn't going to discuss it.

The next day, Gabrielle went to say her second goodbye to Sarah, who was regaining her strength quickly. Lila gave them some time alone.

"Oh Gabrielle. You don't need to go." Sarah said brushing her sisters hair from her face in a familiar, motherly way.

"I do." Gabrielle looked at her sister with great love. Sarah nodded. Gabrielle would somehow prove to Xena she could do better and would not be a burden. Maybe there was hope. Gabrielle started to tear up but stopped. Sarah accepted her decision.

"I am anxious to hear what you find out there on the great ..dangerous road my Minister of Cultural Development. You wouldn't want one of my guards to," Sarah offered then added quickly. "...of course not...Sorry."

Gabrielle responded with a restrained hug due to Sarah's injuries. "Don't ever apologize for caring." Gabrielle added.

"I hope you can reconcile your differences with your friend." Sarah changed the subject. Although only having observed the two In a short time, Sarah knew they were too close to give up on their friendship so easily. There was a reason for Xena's departure but Sarah knew it wasn't her place to pursue the details.

Gabrielle picked up her staff. "I'm not so sure it will happen." Gabrielle exhaled, very depressed.

"They say time heals all wounds Gabrielle." Sarah gently touched her sad sister's cheek. Gabrielle hoped she was right.

After her goodbyes, Gabrielle started off into the world alone, unsure of where she was going.

There was a time when she would never have actually gone out on her own, despite her youthful fantasies of being a Minister of Cultural Development. She had told her family that she would one day be the Minister of Cultural Development for a powerful and just ruler, sent on a mission to learn about other cultures and bring back enlightenment to her kingdom. Now, while preferring to be along side of Xena, she could go it alone if she had to, she was pretty sure. At least she wasn't being a burden to anyone, Gabrielle reflected. The roads were dangerous though, and she had lost her share of fights only to have Xena come to her rescue. Pushing the insidious doubts from her mind, Gabrielle looked down the fork in the road. Right would take her to Athens, Left to her sister Amazons.

"Hmm" Gabrielle pondered the significance of being given that choice just when she was contemplating the need for more education in fighting and self defense.

Chapter 9 - More Sisters

"It's Gabrielle!" one Amazon lookout called out enthusiastically as their princess was spotted arriving. Queen Melosa came from her tent with a big smile. The smile faded as she observed she was alone.

"Where is Xena?" Melosa asked.

"I wish I knew." Gabrielle responded shaking her head. Melosa sensing trouble, immediately offered help.

"We will help you find her." Melosa started to gather up a scouting party.

"Wait." Gabrielle stopped the Queen. "Xena left to be on her own." Gabrielle offered further explanation. Melosa eyed her, deciding it was best to discuss this delicate matter in private.

"I have a request Queen Melosa, I wish to train."

Melosa smiled broadly. "Be careful of what you wish for around here PRINCESS Gabrielle, you'll get it." Melosa enjoyed toying with Gabrielle.

"I need to be trained," Gabrielle's tone now sounded more like a plea which caught Melosa off guard. Gabrielle's request was rooted in her problems with Xena, Melosa guessed, nodding to Gabrielle.

"We will have a feast tonight to celebrate your return to us." The Amazons cheered. "But first," Melosa was quick to follow up. "To help you work up your appetite, you will start your training - immediately."

Gabrielle got what she wished for.

Melosa entrusted Gabrielle with her two finest teachers, Trayla and Sustra. Trayla had helped Gabrielle with the staff before. After starting with the staff to see how much Gabrielle retained from her previous training, Trayla's backside was introduced to the hard ground with a thump. Sustra's laughing didn't help Trayla's bruised ego.

As Trayla brushed herself off, Gabrielle saw the irritation build up and performed some innate casualty control.

"If it were not for your training in the basics, I could have never improved. I still have so much more to learn from you." Gabrielle's words were sincere and respectful. Trayla nodded taking some solace in Gabrielle's words and skill.

"I think you have less to learn about the staff than you say." Gabrielle shook her head no but Trayla continued. "There are other skills you need to learn, isn't that right Sustra?"

It was Sustra's turn. "Sword? Crossbow? Wrestling?" Gabrielle thought a moment.

"I would like to know how to defend myself if I loose my staff in a fight. Not that that has or would ever happen." Gabrielle's humor was welcome to Sustra who liked to laugh. Trayla was much more serious.

"Very wise my princess. Sustra is the best in-close fighter," Trayla spoke fact.

Gabrielle could believe it, looking at the woman's tall and muscular body. Immediately, Gabrielle found Sustra's explanations of the principles behind the techniques wonderful. Also, she relayed interesting battle stories where each technique was useful. This helped Gabrielle learn more than Sustra realized.

"Ok, you've learned enough to throw me - do it," Sustra challenged.

"How can I possibly throw someone as large...ah.. muscular as you? I'm too small, I just want to learn how to get out of a bind." Gabrielle's comments made Sustra disappointed.

"Haven't you been - whoa!" Sustra was caught off guard by her student but quickly countered.

"Ack!" Gabrielle was caught in a choke hold.

"Good attempt with your diversion, what next?" Sustra coached her captive. Gabrielle's response was muffled by Sustra's strong arm around her neck. "What?" Sustra asked then relaxed the grip somewhat to hear her response.

"Offer money?" Gabrielle spurted.

On Trayla's normally stoic face, a slight smile appeared.

"Think!" Sustra ordered. Gabrielle applied her fingers to the pressure points of Sustra's hand and pulled it away from her neck. The next move was more of a roll vice a throw but the result was that Gabrielle successfully got Sustra on her back with a thud. Trayla was grinning wider now.

"You still need to work on speed." A dusty Sustra spoke from the ground.

The next hours were the most fatiguing few hours Gabrielle could recall in her life. Melosa came to the practice field to see about Gabrielle's progress. Trayla and Gabrielle were back with the staff to teach her about fighting on unstable surfaces. This time however, Trayla did not underestimate her opponent.

"My Queen." Sustra came over as the two continued.

"How goes the training." Melosa saw a more confident Gabrielle than the last time she trained with the Amazons.

"Better than I had hoped. She is a quick study and has grown much stronger since her last visit." Melosa was pleased. "Good."

"What's wrong," Melosa asked Sustra, seeing the worried look on her face.

"Gabrielle would do just as well with a sword yet she has no interest in it," Sustra informed her Queen.

"Gabrielle considers the sword a symbol of death," Melosa explained.

Sustra shrugged. "So?"

Melosa looked over to Gabrielle with an understanding. "She hasn't killed anyone and has vowed never to do so. I respect that vow and so should you. Do not push the sword. If she wants to learn those skills, she will ask...our princess is not shy you know," the usually stern queen then quipped.

The feast was huge and very festive, one of their best, Melosa remarked. This time, Gabrielle was able to sit out the dancing as rank has its privileges. After telling the story of finding her long lost sister to the appreciative group, she sat next to Melosa at the royal table and ate like two Amazons.

"I see your story telling skills and appetite are in good shape. How is your training going?" Melosa asked, sitting comfortably in the Queen's spot at the royal table.

"Sustra and Trayla are teaching me so much, but I am afraid I am not quick enough." Gabrielle sighed then yawned and quickly apologized. Melosa nodded.

"Speed will come with practice. You know that from your staff work, which I am very pleased with." Gabrielle shrugged.

"I have improved, but I have lost so many fights and had to be saved by Xena..." The mention of her name saddens Gabrielle.

"Probably due to a lack confidence Gabrielle - not skill." Melosa remarked sipping her wine.

Considering they have sufficient privacy, Melosa asks what happened. "You said Xena left you at your sister's castle?" Gabrielle nodded, not ready to admit why Xena left. Gabrielle's perception was still affected by the drug. Interpreting the silence incorrectly, Melosa offered solace.

"There must be a reason Gabrielle. Xena cares deeply for you. When you do see her, remember that. Go get some rest now. Tomorrow will come early and Sustra and Trayla will not handle you so gingerly as they did today" Melosa noted as Sustra and Trayla looked at each other with wide grins.

"And I'm supposed to have a good night's sleep now?" Gabrielle remarked to an amused Melosa.

Gabrielle had no trouble sleeping and the morning did come early. Sustra and Trayla came in her tent. With a soft, melodic voice, Sustra called for Gabrielle.

"Princess, wake up." Gabrielle stirred very little. Then, Sustra's tone and volume changed. "It is time for training" Sustra boomed. Trayla turned over the bed of the disoriented bard.

"I am so glad you two enjoy your jobs." Gabrielle looks up from the ground.

For the next few days, Gabrielle was put through many tests and drills and sported many bruises. The most annoying training was in the beginning of the day, which came earlier and earlier each morning to keep Gabrielle off balance, which worked well.

Gabrielle found herself in the forest alone. Trayla and Sustra were hiding. The hair on the back of Gabrielle's neck rose. They were close. While never having so many bruises in her life, Gabrielle never felt so clear minded and alive.

A noise in the bushes made Gabrielle smile with recognition. The sound was a stone, a diversion. Gabrielle turned towards where she anticipated the attacker to be. Unfortunately, she was wrong. Sustra leaped out of the trees and tackled Gabrielle.

"Ooofph" The wind was knocked out of the bard.

"Remember, up Gabrielle." Sustra picked up the crumpled bard.

"Up" Gabrielle repeated, still gasping for air with great effort.

She silently scolded herself for missing that attack position. Xena commonly used the trees. The two walked a while with no sign of Trayla. While crossing a stream on a felled tree, Gabrielle had the feeling an attack was pending.

Gabrielle uttered "Down.." As Trayla came out of the water and grabbed for Gabrielle's leg. Gabrielle avoided the grab with a flip, but landed in the water with a stupendous splash.

The Amazon trainers look at each other. "Better." They spoke in unison.

"I'll miss this," Trayla said quietly to her partner in chaos prior to the morning exercise.

Sustra and Trayla stealthily entered the tent from underneath. Trayla and Sustra looked at each other amused with the fact Gabrielle didn't stir yet. They stood up ready to attack. Trayla gave a war scream and jabbed the blob in the bed which evoked no movement.

Sustra uttered an "ugh oh". The tent collapsed on the two attackers. Laughter erupted in the Amazon camp as the two teachers scrambled to get out from the tent. They quickly joined in the laughter, realizing their Princess had learned very well.

At a private dinner, Queen Melosa had relayed her experience with Grickas to an attentive Gabrielle. "He was a weak man. Not a true warrior." Melosa despised him and was happy he met his end.

"Why not a true warrior, he was very successful in battle, wasn't he?" Gabrielle asked.

Melosa shook her head no. "He wasn't. Only his tricks and drugs made him win. As I said, not a true warrior." Gabrielle was still confused.

"Drugs? What kind of drugs?" Gabrielle asked. Melosa spoke with incredible disgust.

"Forgus, a drug whose effects can be insidious. It amplifies a persons fears and doubts. If taken in its purest form, the transformation is permanent but too quick and obvious to ensure a victorious takeover. However, Grickas dilutes this drug and slowly conquers his unsuspecting enemy. Victims never find out that the reason for their defeat was themselves." Melosa sighs.

"Themselves?" Gabrielle questions.

"Yes. Normally rational people struggling with those doubts and fears act irrationally. Yet they don't even realize how irrational they have become. The affected are unable to adequately defend themselves from the likes of Grickas. A small band of Grickas' men could overtake a seemingly unconquerable army - with the help of forgus. It sounds like that was the cause of King Enerall's defeat."

Gabrielle then asked a question that spoke volumes to Melosa. "Does this Forgus happen to taste sweet?"

With this information, it was time for Gabrielle to leave her Amazon sisters and go back to Walsas. So many good-byes in such a short time was draining on Gabrielle. She was so close to her family and had so many good friends, it was always hard to leave. Melosa expressed concern for Gabrielle's intended trip.

"If Grickas is still loose, he will try to regroup to conquer Walsas. If you want my help, Gabrielle, just say the word." The significance of Melosa's offer was not lost on Gabrielle.

"Your training is not done yet Gabrielle," Melosa remarked with authority.

"Training never really stops, does it?" Gabrielle asked.

"If it does, your dead." Melosa answered. "We still have a few things to teach you," Melosa added, her stare relayed no emotion.

Gabrielle rubbed her bruised arm. "I think my training is best done in short sprits - so I can recover. Besides, I am looking forward to a good night's sleep." Gabrielle's joke about the morning exercises concerned Melosa, who's expression turned grave.

"Gabrielle, sleep will be a necessity not a luxury. You must always sleep lightly, and at the ready. Attackers will not be as kind as Trayla and Sustra." Gabrielle nodded, a little disturbed, yet understood Melosa's warning.

"Don't worry, you have learned much." Melosa added. Gabrielle wondered how true that was. "Remember, you most powerful weapon is your mind and... of course your gift of Gab, Gabrielle." Melosa smiled.

"Thanks..." Gabrielle blurted with mock annoyance.

Gabrielle started down the path, once again - alone.

Chapter 10 - The Return

Approaching Walsas, Gabrielle felt it wise to not use the main road - just in case. "I'm probably being paranoid", she thought to herself. "Paranoid is good," she concluded, finding the kingdom reoccupied by Grickas' soldiers.

Her mind raced with thoughts of what fate befell her sisters. "Focus and calm down." She told herself. She needed to find out what was going on. The tavern was closest.

The soldiers paid no attention to the cloaked woman who limped into the Tavern. Farr the barkeep was hopeful for a paying customer finally.

"May I.." his eyes widened as he recognized the face of the woman under the hood. He nervously backed away into the storeroom. Gabrielle followed. "You shouldn't be here!" He whispered loudly. The incredible difference in the man before her now and the same man days ago confirmed her suspicions that Grickas once again drugged the people of Walsas with Forgus. "They will kill me for talking to you!" He looked around nervously. "You must go now." He shook.

"I will go...just tell me...are Sarah and Lila OK?" She braced herself for the worse.

"I don't know, I don't know" He backed up, knocking over a jug of wine which crashed on the floor.

"Hey!" A soldier enters the store room to see what caused the commotion. Seeing the wine spilled on the floor, he sneers. "Be more careful of this stuff." Farr's nervousness made the filthy soldier feel dominant. He walked around inspecting the area to increase the barkeep's panic and his enjoyment. It worked. Farr cringed at every corner and space the soldier would inspect. "You've got thirsty soldiers out there to serve. Go on!" Farr left the storeroom wondering what happened to the young woman.

Gathering information was not easy task, Gabrielle thought as she approached the Inn. There were guards close to the front door so she tried the back door. She could have tried to pick the lock to the back door but saw that there was a window open on the second floor.The path of least resistance worked for her.

"I gave you all the money I have" Cumae spoke to a young soldier she could have physically taken on in her younger days. Cumae's eyes glanced over to the stairs where she saw Gabrielle poking her head out from the stairwell. Gabrielle motioned to Cumae she was going to the hidden basement. Their silent communication went unnoticed by the greedy boy.

Making her way to the room, Gabrielle thought of her experiences with the Amazons. All things being equal, Gabrielle preferred infiltrating the kingdom to head-on confrontations. While she recognized the value of being proficient with fighting skills, she considered it took more skill to avoid conflict and obtain her objective. It was also more satisfying to win a mental contest than a physical one.

Gabrielle easily entered the sanctuary of the hidden room, undetected by soldiers. A single candle burned with insufficient light for Gabrielle's adjusting eyes to see anything. However, she felt a quiet presence in the room. The presence was a familiar one.

"Xena" She called out softly, 99% sure her feelings were correct.

"Good eyes." Xena commented without correction from Gabrielle.

"I'm glad you're here. I was afraid I'd have to save the kingdom alone." Gabrielle remarked with a smile that eased Xena's apprehension about facing Gabrielle.

"I'm thinking clearer now." Xena stared at her awkwardly, wanting to say more.

"But the kingdom isn't. Grickas is at it again. Did you know Grickas always uses Forgas on his enemies?" Gabrielle relayed.

"Not until the drug wore off," Xena answered with regret.

"Xena, there was no way you could have known you...we... were affected." Gabrielle casually commented as she lit more candles. "There, much better." The room was much brighter to Gabrielle's satisfaction.

"What happened to you ?" Xena asked with concern. With the added light, Xena now saw the large number bruises Gabrielle sported.

"A few...educational experiences" Gabrielle rubbed a bruised elbow.

"Gabrielle..." Xena started to say something when Cumae, finally finished with the young soldier, came in the room. She was also affected by the water but not as afraid as Farr about helping them.

"They are still alive." Cumae spoke immediately to Gabrielle upon entering the room.

Gabrielle's armor of good humor revealed a sizable dent as she closed her eyes and thanked the gods upon that news. This experience was draining on Gabrielle, Xena observed, now grateful for Cumae's interruption. There was only so much Gabrielle should have to deal with at one time. Collecting herself, Gabrielle quickly recovered her good humor.

"But?" Gabrielle asked. "There's always a but," she added, looking at Xena.

"Grickas plans another execution for Sarah when she recovers enough from her wounds," Cumae informed them.

"How considerate," Xena blurted.

Cumae left to tend to the Inn not wanting to be found missing from the front desk too long.

"It's always something isn't it?" Gabrielle sighed, sitting down at the table. Reaching for a water skin, she stopped herself before drinking.

"I brought that, it's ok." Xena remarked. Gabrielle looked at her.

"Good, don't want to go through that again." She took a sip. The comment made Xena wonder what she went through, what doubts and fears had plagued her. Xena stared at Gabrielle, wanting to apologize for leaving, wanting to say how much she missed her. Yet she didn't.

Noting Xena was trying to tell her something then stopped when Cumae entered the room, Gabrielle thought of a way to help.

"Did you know that the Yersians were a people that had very few wars or even disputes?" Gabrielle's comment surprised Xena, who wondered where Gabrielle was going to go with this.

"No." Xena answered cautiously sitting across from Gabrielle at the table and taking a sip of water herself.

"If two families...or people...had a problem that seemed insurmountable they would gather the troubled parties in a sacred room, the Great Room of Truths." Gabrielle nibbled on some bread.

"Oh?" Xena responded wondering how much of this story Gabrielle was making up.

"Yes. In this Great Room, the troubled people were sworn to abide by the Rules of Questions. Once agreed to, each party was allowed to ask one question of each other. The person asking the question was not allowed to speak until the person answering was finished. The person answering was required to be direct and truthful, even if the truth was painful. After the first questions were asked, they went home to think about what they heard and consider their next questions. The next day they would gather in the same place and ask a second set of questions. Then after that, a third set of questions, asked on the third day, would be asked. By the end of the third day the problem was solved."

"How did they know if the answers given were the truth?" Xena asked a practical question.

"They knew." Gabrielle answered looking her in the eye. Xena could believe that Gabrielle would be able to. Cumae returned, having put in her appearance at the front desk. Annoyed and disappointed by Cumae's poor timing, Gabrielle muttered under her breath.

"If it isn't Cumae, the interrupter." The comment was heard by Xena who refrained from grinning. She owed Cumae another one.

Chapter 11 - Another rescue

"So much for being considerate," Gabrielle remarked.

Grickas was too impatient for Sarah's full recovery so he decided to push up the execution to the next day. Xena lead the way to the Castle.

"They probably have the entrances we used before guarded." Gabrielle remarked trying to figure out what her friend had in mind as they walked through the trees.

"Well, I agree your underwater passage is out." Xena remarked coming to a boulder.

"Good. I've had enough swimming." Gabrielle sat on the boulder, rechecking her bag to make sure everything was there. "And the side entrance?" Gabrielle asked.

"Out." Xena remarked.

"Ok" Gabrielle accepted that. Xena kept standing in front of her as if she was waiting for something. "I give up...How will we get in? What entrance will we use?" Xena smiled getting what she wanted out of Gabrielle.

"You're sitting on it."

Gabrielle got up looking at the boulder and pointed at it. "This?"

Xena nodded then leaned over and started to move the boulder. To Gabrielle's amazement, Xena exposed a passage with a staircase.

"How did you know about this?" Gabrielle peered down the entrance.

"I stumbled across it when I had to find another way into the castle. That was after I ran into that dead end you never told me about." Xena explained passing by Gabrielle to descended the steps.

"What dead end?" Gabrielle followed, remembering Xena mentioned that before but not remembering the dead end.

"Never mind." Xena answered.

They came upon the soldier's dining hall which they had to cross to get to access to the holding cell. The dining hall was bustling with feeding soldiers. "It would be probably be impolite to disturb their dinner." Xena remarked as they retreated unnoticed to the next room. They needed to remain undetected for the plan to succeed.

Gabrielle observed a much more relaxed Xena before her than when they met at the Inn. The room they were now in was a sitting room with beautiful woven tapestries hanging from the walls. Gabrielle took a moment to admire them.

"Look at the detail." She remarked with amazement.

The noise of soldiers moving towards their position caused Xena and Gabrielle to look to each other. After scanning the room for hiding options, Xena found Gabrielle had already found a place to hide as she was gone.

Xena found the ledge outside the window the closest place to hide, although she would have preferred the rafters. A soldier came in, having a little too much to drink, Xena observed. He stumbled around and was getting close to the tapestry where Gabrielle was last seen standing. Xena's heart jumped when she thought Gabrielle's hiding place would be exposed.

Xena's hand clenched her Chakrum as the soldier stumbled into that tapestry. However, Gabrielle was not there as Xena expected. Easing her grip on her Chakrum, she smiled to herself. Her eyes found where the nervous bard was hiding, in the rafters. Other soldiers came in and found their comrade in bad shape.

"Come on. You don't want King Grickas to find you like this." One soldier spoke. The title of King made Gabrielle angry. Sarah had stated that justice would be served another day. Today was that day, Gabrielle thought.

After the soldiers left, Gabrielle lowered herself from the rafters on to a table as Xena emerged from the window. "I'm glad you didn't choose the tapestry." Xena remarked quietly.

"Me too. Whoa." Gabrielle lost her balance and kicks one large candle holder off the table while heading for a noisy fall. Xena caught the candle in one hand and grabbed Gabrielle's arm with the other, steadying her. A relieved Gabrielle makes it down to the floor. Xena stares at the candle then Gabrielle.

"I know, improve." Gabrielle relayed.

"I didn't say anything." Xena remarked, with a smirk.

"Maybe not, but you wanted to." Gabrielle countered.

"So you've learned to read minds?" Xena put the candle down.

"You'd be surprised." Gabrielle looked at her.

"Really? What am I thinking now." Xena challenged her with a sly grin.

"That we shouldn't waste any more time in getting to the holding cell." Gabrielle responded and headed towards the soldier's dining room.

The smile on Xena's face faded after that correct answer.

"Xena" Gabrielle quietly called back to her realizing she wasn't moving.

"Nah..." Xena thought to herself.

They arrived at the holding cell which boasted better accommodations than the dungeon cells. Grickas wanted to ensure his injured prisoner didn't rob him of the execution he looked forward to by dying on her own. As they expected, Sarah was alone. Gabrielle hoped they were right about Lila and Meleager being held in the main dungeon. Xena distracted a guard further and further away from the cell with a string of noises, allowing Gabrielle to approach her sister.

"Sarah" Gabrielle spoke waking her sister.

"Gabrielle!" She was shocked and concerned.

"Grickas has won." Sarah's head fell in defeat. Gabrielle knew it had to be the Forgus talking.

"Not yet Sarah. Justice will be served." Sarah embraced her sister with a need to believe that.

"Where are Lila and Meleager?" Gabrielle asked.

"They are below in the dungeon." Gabrielle nodded. "Are you strong enough to leave?"

Sarah nodded.

As Xena took Sarah down to the dungeon, Sarah protested the plan.

"Xena, I can't leave her there." She started.

"It's Gabrielle's choice." Xena coolly responded. Sarah made many similar comments of concern along the way which Xena chose to ignore. Xena tried not to get too irritated as she knew the forgus was making Sarah more fearful. They made it to the soldier's post at the entrance of the Labyrinth which they had to go through. Sarah kept pushing Xena about Gabrielle.

"She could be killed. Why didn't you try to talk her out of this? Don't you care?" Surprising Sarah with her speed, Xena put her hand on the Queen's mouth and shoved her into the shadows.

"Stay quiet or you will be killed." Xena spoke deliberately. Sarah wasn't sure if Xena meant by the soldiers or her own hands. The soldiers didn't know what hit them as Xena jumped from the darkness and attacked with her sword swiftly and accurately.

She killed all four of them, regretting the necessity. If they woke at an inopportune time, they would foil the rescue and further endanger Gabrielle's life. She was grateful though that Gabrielle did not have to witness her killing again. Gabrielle knew there were times when it could be justified, Xena thought to herself as she pulled the bodies out of view. However, Xena knew it still disturbed Gabrielle even if she never spoke of it. Finished covering up signs of the attack, Xena looked up at Sarah who was silently staring at her. There was a familiar look of sadness in Xena's eyes which Sarah remembered seeing in Enerall when he killed in front of her.

Gabrielle laid on the cot with her face to the wall. She wore a white dress like Sarah's to complete the deception. The guard came by to confirm his red headed prisoner was where she should be. Satisfied, he left to patrol the area. This was the difficult part, Gabrielle thought as she waited. Her nervous energy was used for pacing around the cell . She wondered how far along Xena was in the rescue of Sarah, Lila and Meleager. She then reconsidered that her task of waiting was much easier than Xena's task of rescuing two injured and one green young Potedian all probably heavily affected by forgus.

Hearing more footsteps, she jumped onto the cot and faced the wall. Why was he back so soon, Gabrielle wondered. The steps were of a different man.

"My Queen Sarah. It is almost time. You will soon meet the same fate as your husband Enerall." Gabrielle moved slightly. "Ah, you are still fighting fate." Grickas observed. The noise of a key entering the cell door lock made Gabrielle's heart race. He would find out soon. Now she had to deal with an opponent without her staff. He entered and Gabrielle spoke softly.

"Why?"

Grickas laughed. "Why not?" He sat down on the cot next to her touching the familiar red hair. Her urge to punch him was overcome by a calm. Not yet, she thought. Gabrielle could hear and feel he only had on a dagger. Appropriate for a man who was not a true warrior.

"I guess I could blame it on a difficult childhood but I actually enjoyed my childhood," he mused. "Why?" He repeated. "Because I can." He answered truthfully.

"What!?!" He gasped, realizing the red hair belonged to someone other than Sarah.

Gabrielle turned pushing him onto the ground and bolted for the cell door. He grabbed her foot causing her to fall. She kicked free of his grip and the two were quickly on their feet facing each other in the small cell.

"I should know your name at least, before I kill you" He asked pulling his dagger out.

"Does that mean you won't kill me if I don't tell you?" Gabrielle remarked making Grickas smile.

"No, it's just more ... polite." He lunged towards her unsuccessfully. "You have to be her sister, but I didn't know she had any." Grickas was still more amused than worried, believing the forgus would prevent Sarah from getting far. Gabrielle was grateful for that advantage.

"Gee, how'd you figure that out?" Gabrielle commented as she looked for an opportunity to escape the small confines of the cell. He lunges again getting close enough to lightly cut her arm but allowing her to hit the him solidly in the face, breaking his nose.

"Ahhh" He held his face and fell to his knees. Gabrielle once again tried to escape but Grickas would not allow that as he overcame his pain and tackled her into the bars.

Somehow she broke herself free from this man and escaped the cell. Scanning her surroundings in the empty dining hall, she found the guard running towards her with his sword drawn. Hard to keep a fight quiet, she realized. One in front and one closing in at her back, Gabrielle assessed her situation.

She spied a staff on the other side of the room. The only obstacle was the bigger, meaner looking guard. She dove on top of the long table towards her objective, missing a deadly blow by the guard. She jumped with more energy than she realized, unable to stop herself from sliding completely across the table and onto the floor with a thud. She quickly recovered, adjusting her dress that was ill-suited for fighting and grabbed the staff.

With the familiar feel of the staff in her hand, Gabrielle breathed deeply feeling more comfortable. That was until three more soldiers rushed in to inform Grickas of their news.

"The prisoners have escaped from the dungeon. And we are missing many soldiers," one blurted to Grickas, who lost control.

"NO! NO! NO!" He screamed, realizing all his mistakes.

Gabrielle was relieved at the soldier's news. All she had to worry about was herself. As the soldiers that surrounded her closed in, she thought that was still enough to worry about. She successfully prevented them from getting too close with swift and accurate staff work. However, she knew she would tire soon which would be the end.

"Some warrior you are Grickas." Gabrielle taunted him.

He looked at her angrily.

"Using drugs to conquer your enemy. When you can't rely on the drugs, you loose to a mere woman in hand to hand combat."

The soldiers slowed their attacks listening to this woman's accusations. Grickas pushes a soldier aside, grabbing his sword. Gabrielle smiled. "And by the way, my name is Gabrielle, the woman who defeated you."

The soldiers froze as they watched Grickas lung towards the woman. Gabrielle easily avoided his angry and sloppy moves. Yep, she was more comfortable with the staff than hand-to-hand. She hit him in the chest with great force causing him to land on his back. The vile on his neck broke open. He gasped, pulling his pendant off him throwing it to the floor. The vapors of the pure forgus were strong.

Gabrielle stepped back realizing what had happened. She watched with the soldiers as Grickas huddles over shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Here is your GREAT warrior Grickas." She speaks to the soldiers, tired of fighting. "Leave now and never bother this kingdom again." She looked each of them in the eyes. The soldiers debated what to do.

Xena rushed in the room not quiet sure of what to do, seeing the standoff before her. Gabrielle looked at her and motioned her to not attack, and returned her attention back at the soldiers. "It's your choice."

They quickly leave the two woman and their leader huddled on the floor. Xena looks over at Grickas.

"Careful Xena, he splashed pure forgus on himself." Gabrielle looked down at the sorry sight. "I wonder if this will be permanent," she added with some feeling of remorse. Xena put a comforting hand on Gabrielle's shoulder.

"I don't know." Xena saw Gabrielle was disturbed by the outcome of her fight. "It's not like you killed him Gabrielle."

"I know. But I wonder if this isn't worse." Gabrielle stared down at Grickas not sure what to feel.

Xena, greatly disturbed by Gabrielle's comment, reached out her hand, gently turned Gabrielle's head away from Grickas. Looking directly in her friend's sad eyes, Xena spoke from the heart.

"If there is any blame Gabrielle, it lies with Grickas. He didn't just kill people - he abused people with that drug. Now he is suffering for that abuse. I hope you can see that." Xena waited for a response.

Gabrielle nodded and embraced her friend tightly. "Thank you," she spoke softly.

"There you are!" Cumae came in. Gabrielle stepped back and looked over to the woman than back at Xena.

"Cumae..of course." Gabrielle spoke under her breath.

Chapter 12 - A Promise is a Promise is a Promise

After the celebration dinner, Gabrielle sat in the garden alone, saddened that she would be leaving soon.

"I thought you would be asleep by now." Xena sat next to her, enjoying the peaceful evening air.

There were so many sides to her friend, Gabrielle noted, now seeing the relaxed and happy Xena. Gabrielle was pleased Xena really enjoyed herself the past couple of days around her family and even during the celebration this evening.

"What?" Xena asked uncomfortably noticing Gabrielle's stare.

"Just counting the minutes before Cumae shows up," Gabrielle said with a slight grin.

"She just left...I think." Xena responded quickly looking around, making Gabrielle cuckle. Xena never tired of hearing Gabrielle laugh.

Gabrielle looked up at the night sky and sighed. "So where are we going next?"

Xena thought a moment. "We could visit the Amazons," the warrior suggested.

Gabrielle cringed. "Perhaps after I fully recover from my last visit."

Xena was surprised, but that did explain all her bruises. "So that is where you went after I ...left." Xena still regretted her actions even though Gabrielle knew they were forgus induced.

"Yes. I was convinced, or rather the forgus convinced me, that you left because you were tire of me being such a burden. I thought if I trained and learned more I would prove ....well, you get the picture." Gabrielle shrugged.

"You did that for me?" Xena asked, once again deeply touched by this bard's actions.

"Nope," Gabrielle's answer surprised her. "I did it for entirely selfish reasons," Gabrielle responded. "I wasn't going to give up our friendship without a fight. It means too much to me." Knowing how uncomfortable Xena gets when they discuss their feelings, Gabrielle tried to lighten things up. "Although, had I known what Trayla and Sustra would put me through...I might have reconsidered." Gabrielle smiled at the memories of the experience.

Gabrielle's confession bothered Xena.

"I'm kidding" Gabrielle responded seeing her change in moods, then realized it was not the sarcasm.

"I didn't fight, I just left." Xena said hollowly, looking at the ground. Gabrielle realized how much guilt Xena still carried around.

"Why did you?" Gabrielle asked softly. Xena glanced uncomfortably at her friend then back down to the ground. When Gabrielle thought Xena was having too much difficulty to respond, she let her off the hook.

"You don't have to say anything Xena. I know we both weren't acting like ourselves." Gabrielle patted her hand. "It's getting late...We should both get some sleep." Gabrielle starts getting up but Xena, not yet done, gently grabs and pulls on her arm, sitting her back down. "Or we could talk." Gabrielle responded.

Xena exhaled heavily, then looked the bard in the eyes. "You have become a skilled fighter and...you have two sisters that are very close to you." Gabrielle listened quietly. Xena still stared at the ground. "When you didn't confide in me about your dreams I kept wondering why."

Gabrielle sucessfully fought the urge to interrupt, knowing this wasn't easy for Xena.

"Then you agreed to take that position from your sister - I thought you were staying without discussing it with me. All those things - with the forgus - added up. I thought there was no room in your life for me." Xena finally looked up at Gabrielle who smiled warmly, happy to finally hear Xena confide her in her.

"You are not my friend because you can protect me Xena." Gabrielle smiled looking into her eyes. "And you are not my best friend because I need anymore sisters." Gabrielle responded with a grin.

"I know" Xena softly laughed.

Gabrielle took a breath, ready to admit something. Xena noted, with some apprehension, the subtle shift in Gabrielle's mood. "I guess I owe you an apology for not telling you about those dreams sooner." Gabrielle felt a little embarrassed. "There was this woman in Poteidaia, who said she had vivid dreams of prophecy all the time. None of her warnings came true. She was "crazy Sybi." She drove away her family and all her friends." Gabrielle laughed nervously.

"You can always talk to me Gabrielle" Xena responded with great feeling. Gabrielle nodded, thanking the gods for having such a good friend. "And you can start by telling me about this job of Minister of Cultural Development..." Xena still had a few questions for the bard.

After finishing with her explanation of the Minister of Cultural Development, Gabrielle yawned. The excitement and emotion of the evening was catching up to her. "It really is getting late. We both should get some sleep." She repeated her good-night to Xena. As she starts to get up, Xena, with a playful grin this time, pulls on her arm sitting her back down.

"Or we could...keep talking." Xena remarked this time.

Gabrielle laughed and shook her head. "Melosa said be careful of what you wish for."

The next morning came too early for Gabrielle, but she was determined not to be late for the planned early morning departure. To her surprise, she was in the garden before Xena. She didn't realize how early it was until Cumae came by before she opened the Inn.

"Gabrielle, I just wanted to wish you good traveling before you and Xena go. Where is she?" Cumae looked around.

"She's probably taking advantage of the last few minutes in a comfortable bed before we head out. She kept us up pretty late last night talking," Gabrielle remarked yawning. Cumae eyed her.

"Right - talking." Cumae remarked as reached in her bag. "There IS something I wanted to ask of you and Xena." Cumae smiled.

Gabrielle had already brought Argo from the stables and packed her up with everything. She continued to wait for Xena when Lila, Sarah and Meleager emerged from the castle.

"By the Gods it is early, why does anyone start traveling at this time of day?" Lila rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"Lila, I've explained that to you already." Meleager remarked.

"I know but..." Lila's reply was interrupted by Gabrielle's hug.

"Thank you Lila." Gabrielle's eyes watered up.

"Hey, stop that. It's contagious." Lila wiped Gabrielle eye, then her own.

Gabrielle hugged Meleager next, who felt a little embarrassed at the affection in public. "We always seem to have an interesting time together" Meleager joked.

"I'm glad you will be here for my sister - Meleager the Mighty." She looked at him with affection and respect. That meant the world to him.

Xena finally emerged from the castle unapologetic for being late. She wasn't much for long good-byes. She did look particularly well rested, Gabrielle noted.

"I owe you all so much." Sarah spoke to the group. "It's a shame I can't convince you two to stay here with us." Gabrielle and Xena looked at each other.

"There are places to go and people to help." Gabrielle responded for the both of them. Xena nodded.

"I somehow expected that answer." Sarah looked at the two. "Take care of her." Sarah yelled to them as they started their journey.

"I will." They both responded.

Gabrielle and Xena, with Argo in tow, walked through the front gate of the Castle that had seen so much fighting days before. Gabrielle appreciated the calm and prayed it would last.

"Gabrielle?" Xena stops Argo.

"Yes?" Gabrielle responded, still walking and looking around the beautiful landscape, enjoying the sun and air.

"What's this?" Xena asks, looking in Argo's saddle bag. Gabrielle stops and returns to Xena's side seeing what she is talking about.

"A package." Gabrielle answers innocently.

"A package?" Xena repeated. "Just something I promised Cumae we would...deliver..." Gabrielle realized she did it again.

"Gabrielle" Xena spoke sternly.

"It's a birthday present Xena"

Xena started walking with Argo silently.

Gabrielle, attempted to justify the reasons for her promise. It was the right thing to do even if Xena didn't agree yet, Gabrielle thought. "It's for her nephew and after all that she's done for us, I thought it was a...." Gabrielle explanation was interrupted.

"Stop." Xena spoke in a commanding tone. "It's ok" Xena added, her tone softer.

"It's ok?" Gabrielle repeated, surprised.

"Yes." Xena answered.

"Yes?" Gabrielle repeated.

"Gabrielle - don't push it." Xena replied sternly. Gabrielle looked at her and stayed quiet.

After a few minutes, Xena broke the silence. "So where is this nephew we need to deliver this gift to..." Xena asked a very good question.

Gabrielle gulped wondering just how understanding Xena would be.

"GABRIELLE..."

THE END

[sablelab]

Covert Operations - Chapter 71

DISCLAIMER: This is a modern AU crossover story with Outlander and La Femme Nikita. LFN and its characters do not belong to me nor do those from Outlander.

SYNOPSIS:  Claire finally meets Jonathon Randall at his birthday party at The Triangle nightclub. He puts a proposition to her and invites her to dinner as well as putting a move on her.

Previous chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

My thanks again for reading, liking, reblogging and commenting on this story.  I really do appreciate you doing so.  

 CHAPTER 71

  Claire’s week at the OCTB had been taken up with investigations about the car bombing in Victoria Park and their shadowing of Samuel Li. With her two colleagues, John So and Ian Murray, she had been sent to find out as much as they could about the explosion.  However, they’d reported that there were no obvious links to the Black Panthers that they could substantiate. Although surveillance footage of Samuel Li was plentiful, Claire knew that they would find nothing that connected him to the bombing in the park as well. Nevertheless, she was sure that Inspector Ng would no doubt find a fine thread that would implicate him and the Black Panthers triad in this atrocity thus making a case for his arrest. She had also managed to diffuse the issue of the mystery man that was seen walking away as there was too little to go on. The chance of the OCTB locating Jamie was less than one percent even if they had a recon photograph, which they didn’t, so the possibility of finding him without knowing anything of his identity was negligible. Hence inquires in this direction had turned up nothing. In the meantime, James Fraser had carried out his own surveillance on Inspector Ng. He’d spent time going over the disk Fiona Graham had given him, but what he had been able to make out was information that Section already had on him. Unfortunately, some of the Intel on the disk had indeed been encrypted, and Jamie was unable to decipher its contents. Hence Fergus had needed to go through the disk to access the information. As a result, Section had been able to add further Intel to Inspector Ng’s dossier. There was, however, some very explosive data on it too which showed proof that Jiang Ng was a criminal and member of the Rising Dragons. His connections to the triad actually went back over many years; he’d been recruited in his youth then had been sent to the police academy as a young man. He’d worked his way up the police ranks and now, because of his position at the OCTB, served as the triad's best mole. The more they learnt about Inspector Ng’s insidious treachery, the duplicity of his position at the OCTB and association with the Rising Dragons, the more became the need to bring him into Section One and if he was at the club tonight, that indeed would happen. Jamie had also mused over whether to bring Karen Yee and her boyfriend in, or to wait until after the party. Claire, however, needed them for her introduction to the target Jonathon Randall, and he knew she would be safe until then as Karen and Andy were away. He’d checked to see if her conference was legitimate and had an operative tailing her in Beijing. He had reported back her movements and they were as she had said. Karen had also rung Claire to arrange the time that she would be at her apartment to collect her for Jonathon Randall’s birthday party, and as planned she’d picked her up at 9 p.m. for their night at the club.

Saturday evening at The Triangle …

Jamie and the team were in position and had the venue under surveillance. As a precaution, he’d organized extra back up for the mission tonight for if all major players were in play, as he hoped they would be, the nightclub was the most logical place to make a move on each and every one of them. This time Section One would be waiting for Jonathon Randall, Inspector Ng and any other members of the Rising Dragons in attendance. 

Section’s mission van was parked outside the club while inside James Fraser was watching the van’s monitors. Scrutinizing all the invited guests who had turned up for Randall’s birthday party, he waited for Claire’s arrival with her neighbour Karen Yee. He’d relayed the visual back to Section for Fergus to cross monitor any of the individuals in case one was a match to their data base on the Rising Dragons. Intel of those in attendance would also be stored for further reference should Section need it in the future. Studying the visuals Jamie suddenly zoomed in on the vision of loveliness that came onto his screen. His Sassenach was dressed in a beautiful, sexy, black cocktail gown. He magnified her image concentrating on her face or more specifically her eyes ... eyes that seemed to know he was looking right at her. She blinked once, then Claire Beauchamp’s blue eyes looked directly at him revealing the window to her soul.  She knew that Jamie was gazing at her and her eyes seemed to soften with an intimacy that he would instantly recognise. Her eyes were sparkling with love and desire for the recipient of her feelings - James Fraser. Knowing that her man would be monitoring her and keeping her safe while she was meeting this new target, filled Claire with confidence that they would achieve their goals this evening.

Jamie swallowed a lump in his throat at the mesmerising, tell-tale glance of his beloved Claire, but he managed to keep his mind on what he had to do. Many of the proposed targets were gathered at this birthday party and apprehending them would bring them closer to finding the elusive leader of the triad.  Reluctantly, he zoomed out to concentrate on her neighbour Karen Yee and studied her body language around Claire. 

It was difficult to know whether she was merely exhibiting enthusiasm for the evening ahead or acting suspiciously. Either way, Jamie knew he would be keeping Karen Yee under close surveillance while she was around his Sassenach in the club tonight and he would act should anything eventuate that put her in jeopardy. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As they made their way closer to the entrance of the nightclub the two women were stopped by a new security guard who was checking ID for the guests who had been invited. “This is a private party tonight,” he stated as he gave the two women an officious look. “I’m one of the girls,” Claire replied cheekily suddenly feeling quite sassy after her eye sex connection with Jamie. “Why are you late then?” Claire pouted.  “I had to take a philosophy exam.” “And you?” he said turning to Karen. “I’m with her,” Karen replied, “and my boyfriend is one of the band members.” “Okay ... you’re in ... but I don’t know about your friend here.” Turning, the guard looked back at Claire who smiled coyly at him as he looked her up and down. Standing her ground, she cocked her head to the side and with a flirty look on her face, responded with a dare. “You can frisk me, if you want.” His grin was quite leering as his eyes once again ran over her from head to toe. Capturing her gaze, the security guard was tempted by her challenge and took up the gauntlet.

 “Works for me.”

Claire raised her hands overhead, giving him access to her body. Placing his hands over her breasts, the man slowly slid them down her body, then back up. He smiled, enjoying himself, while Claire stood perfectly still unaffected by his frisking. However, when he lightly ran his hands over her thighs, he felt a little bulge.

“Hmmm? What’s this then?” He asked looking at her intently.

“Why, I’m packing some heat of course.” Claire announced saucily giving the security guard a cheeky grin.

“Yeah, you’re definitely packing lots of heat babe.”

“Wanna check and see?” She replied lifting her dress just enough for him to see the garter belt she was wearing.

The head guard came over to see what was taking so long with the two women.  “She’s a saucy little minx Karen.  Where did you find this one?”  

“She’s my neighbour Jimmy.  I can vouch for her.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I remember.  Let her in Freddie,” he said turning to the waiting guard who had carried out the body frisk on Claire.  

The first security guard took a small step backwards so that she had to brush past him. “Have a good time girls,” was his parting remark as they continued to walk towards the entry of the nightclub.

“Ooooh Claire ... You are so bad!” Karen stated when out of ear shot of the security guard. 

“Yes, I am ...” she replied with mirth in her voice. 

“We had tickets you know ... we could have showed them.” “Yeah... but that was more fun.” Their laughter echoed along the passageway as they entered the club for Jonathon Randall’s birthday celebrations. The two women stood at the entrance observing the crowd that had assembled in the nightclub then turning towards Karen, Claire smiled broadly. “Should be a good night judging by the festivities already going on.” “Yeah ... It’s much livelier than the last time we were here. Come on Claire, let’s find a table before they’ve all gone,” Karen replied leading the way across the dance floor in search of a vacant booth. However, before making her way through the crowd Claire casually raised her hand and touched the brooch on her dress between her breasts, which activated the hidden camera in it. She turned to the left and right to view the people gathered in the club providing Jamie in the mission van with a view of the interior of the club. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Okay, she’s in.” Jamie alerted Section as the images of those gathered were transmitted to Fergus’ computer. “You getting this Claudel?” he asked. “Loud and clear Fraser.” “Claire I'll coordinate from here. Work yer way through the club and standby,” Jamie stated from the van outside the nightclub.  He’d purposefully located himself in the mission van knowing that Karen Yee may be suspicious of his appearance.  Should she see him, she would recognise him and the plans they had for capturing the targets would cause the mission to be aborted. “Understood,” she replied as she watched Karen greet a friend warmly ahead of her. “Claire, get to yer point. Once ye’re there keep vigilant for the target. I’ll provide backup if necessary.” “Okay. Thanks Jamie.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Tonight, The Triangle was abuzz with the crème de la crème of Hong Kong society. Most of the women were young and gorgeous ... the men debonair and rich. Claire and Karen circled the party and tried to make their way across the floor towards a vacant table. Noticing Rupert Mackenzie, Claire made eye contact with him and he acknowledged her look with a corresponding nod as he walked past her. Claire watched as a woman danced with two guys in time to the music.  As they drew level with the threesome, one of her partners grabbed her and began to imitate the erotic Salsa dance with her brushing his body against hers as they moved to the Latin rhythm that was playing. The other swirled Karen around the floor brushing their bodies together as well. Claire turned her head and Jamie had the visual of her looking straight at him as she danced. She found herself unable to look away knowing that he was watching her dancing the vertical expression of horizontal desire and erotic energy. Sensuality shimmered in her blue gaze like a warm flame, while back in the van; an appreciative look appeared on Jamie’s face as he watched her captivate not only him but the unsuspecting man.

She was good ... very good. His Claire was seducing him with her body movements and her eyes which seemed to peer deep into his soul.

The man twirled Claire around, periodically pulling their two bodies close together.  The rhythm coursed in Claire’s blood letting her passions run free.  Her hypnotic eyes conveyed her inner thoughts to the man who by now was fixedly watching his Sassenach dance.  Passionate submission was certainly on her mind … I wish this was you ... this could be you Fraser! This will be you tonight. 

Jamie had indeed read his Claire’s thoughts.

"Do ye see him yet …?" His voice whispered in her ear and the softly spoken words rolled off his tongue as if it was seductive foreplay between the two of them.  

Slowly severing her connection to Jamie’s invisible gaze, Claire roved her eyes about the room but didn’t see anyone who would fit the bill of their target. “No ... not yet,” she answered in a provocative purr.

“Keep alert then … Beauchamp,” he huskily ordered dragging out her surname as if he was placing a lingering kiss to her lips.

Claire smiled knowingly at Jamie’s reply as she broke away from the man who danced his way back to where his partner was oblivious that she was dancing alone. Gathering her composure, she smiled and continued across the floor followed by Karen who had managed to lose her dance partner as well. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As they continued to cross the room a man standing near a wall watched Claire’s progress. Little did she know, but more than one pair of eyes were watching her. Surreptitiously she surveyed the surrounds keeping an eye on a man guarding the entrance to a restricted area of the club where a small group of people were quietly conversing. Looking up she saw a good-looking man sitting with some minders and a woman on either side of him on a couch drinking cocktails near to where they were heading. No sooner had she made eye contact than the man looked at her captivated by what he saw.  

 Claire flirtatiously smiled his way then looked away. “Fergus, twenty degrees to the left,” she whispered. 

“Yeah ... okay I see him.” “Is he the target?” Jamie interjected. “I’m searching for a match,” Fergus replied to him before bantering with Claire. “Hey Beauchamp ...” “Yeah?” “Be careful crossing the rest of the room! Your dancing has set some temperatures rising.” If anyone’s temperature was rising, she hoped that is was just one … James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser’s … for that was the only person she was interested in causing a feverish rise in temperature.

“Up yours, Claudel!”  She replied in feigned slighted banter. 

“Anytime, babe, my number’s in the book,” was his equal playful retort. “You’ll keep Fergus!” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The party was certainly in full swing. Making her way towards the table, Claire saw various shenanigans taking place as the uninhibited crowd got down and dirty on the dance floor as the Latin music continued to vibrate through her body as well as those dancing. She couldn’t help but think again of what that would be like to do with Jamie and a slight blush coloured her cheeks at the mind visual. Getting her mind back on the job at hand was her first priority though, and Claire continued to cross the floor. She made eye contact and traded nods with another undercover Team Operative who was standing to one side of the dance floor. “Do ye have a match yet Fergus?” Jamie asked impatient for clarification of the target. “Yep ... Bingo ... It’s Jonathon Randall alright.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Whoa! You’d need a stepladder for that one Robert!” Jonathon Randall said to his bodyguard as he keenly watched the newest arrival to his party with Karen Yee.

 The woman was intriguing. She was gorgeous with legs that went on forever and brunette locks that caressed her shoulders. Smitten with her captivating appearance, Jonathon just knew that he wanted to meet her. 

Realising that she was being ignored, one of the blondes at the man’s side kept fawning over him, trying to reclaim his attention, but Jonathon Randall was too busy watching Claire Beauchamp sashay across the crowded dance floor. He fobbed off her attention as well as that of her friend as he was mesmerised by the new woman who had taken over all of his focus. Randall’s eyes followed her every move as she made her way through the crowd. With a petulant look, her eyes too noticed the statuesque brunette in the sexy cocktail dress capture the attention of the host. She was not impressed knowing that any chance she may have had with the owner of The Triangle nightclub had just been dashed by the appearance of the pretty, new, brown-haired woman at his party. Indicating that he’d like to meet the mystery woman, Jonathon Randall motioned for his bodyguard to bend down. As he did so he whispered in his ear. “Go and intercept wherever she is headed and invite her over for a drink.” Nodding, Robert Ling got up and purposefully made his way over to Claire. “My boss wants to meet you,” he announced sidling up to her and grabbing her arm trying to make her go with him. “I don’t think so!” she replied yanking it away. Insisting that she accompany him he persisted, “I really think that you should come with me.” “I don’t think you heard what I said ... I said no!” Intrigued, Jonathon Randall watched the play of events from a distance. He could not take his eyes off Claire and smiled at her tenacity. The second girl companion next to him realising that he was paying no attention to her as well, looked up to see what held his interest. “My boss won’t take “No” as an answer, I’m afraid,” Robert persevered taking her arm once again. “Come with me please.” Claire kicked the man in the shin insulted at his impertinent manner, and the gofer backed away a little turning his head towards where his boss was observing the interplay taking place with great amusement. “Claire ... the target is in sight,” Jamie announced. “Where is he?” Watching what had happened, Jonathon laughed as the blonde woman sitting next to him resumed kissing him on the side of the face trying to gain back his attention but to no avail. He was no longer interested in her whatsoever, and pushed her away like a pesky fly. He wanted the alluring, brunette woman with Karen Yee. “Hmm ... I like her!” He muttered with an arrogant tone to his voice. Seizing his moment, Jonathon Randall stood up. Leaving his two, blonde women companions furious, he brushed off their displeasure and ignoring their entreaty made his way towards where Claire and Karen stood. “He’s making his way over to ye.” “Got it Jamie ...” she replied noticing the good looking man leave his women companions and move in her direction. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Robert Ling continued to try and persuade Claire to accompany him for drinks with his boss but she just ignored him and moved away from him. As he was pestering her once more, the man she had noticed earlier approached and grabbed him by a lapel, yanking him away from her. “That was not a good call, Bob. I wanted to meet this woman ... I didn’t want you to harass her.” As Claire watched the dynamics between the two men, she replied looking him in the eye, “It’s all right. I can handle myself.” “Yes ... I noticed.” “Um, my mistake, Mr. Randall,” his bodyguard apologised contritely backing away. Dismissing the man as insignificant he turned again to Claire and said, “I apologize for my overzealous assistant.” “It’s okay.” Without taking his eyes from the beautiful, brunette woman he spoke to her companion who had returned to her side, “Introduce us Karen.” “Claire ... This is Jonathon Randall ... Jonathon ... Claire.” “Mr Randall? ... Hi ... I’m Claire Beauchamp ... It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.” He took her hand and placed a kiss to her knuckles. “I assure you the pleasure is all mine ... but please call me Jonathon, that is until we are better acquainted, then you may call me Jack.” Nodding she turned her megawatt smile towards him, “Happy Birthday ... Jonathon.” “Thank you ... Claire.” “Are you enjoying your party?” “So much more now that I’ve met you. I’m very glad you were able to attend.” “Me too ... Thanks for the invitation,” Claire replied laying on her charm. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As if they were the only two people there, Jonathon Randall blocked out all those surrounding him including Karen Yee. He was not only captivated by this woman but he was smitten with her beauty and wanted to know more.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Of course.” The band began playing an evocative tune and the dance floor soon became crowded with couples twirling to another Latin beat. Taking her hand Jonathon Randall willingly led Claire back onto the dance floor. They began to Rumba together in time to the hypnotic beat and he dipped and spun her around in time to the music. Pulling her closer he looked directly into her eyes, “I haven’t seen you here before? First time?” “Second,” Claire replied putting her arms around his neck swaying to the rhythm of the music and distracting him long enough for her to plant a tracker beneath his jacket lapel. As soon as she did, it started beeping in the mission van. “Good. That’s the tracker. We’ll be able to monitor his movements in the club,” Fergus stated. Claire’s brooch camera was picking up their actions. Jonathon Randall took one of her hands and slowly guided it down his body to the waistband of his pants. “You do look familiar though. Are you sure I haven’t met you before?” he inquired suggestively dipping Claire back then pulling her close to his chest. What Jamie witnessed didn’t sit well with him particularly as he observed the target’s suggestive fondling of her body. He watched his movements closely waiting for any sign that he would need to go in if Claire got out of her depth. Maintaining eye contact she provocatively replied, “I’d certainly remember you if we’d met before Mr Randall.” “Yeah ... so would I ... nonetheless ...” He let his words trail off as Claire graced him with yet another one of her megawatt smiles and he was under her spell once more. Gyrating to the beat they continued their conversation. “So how do you know Karen?” Claire asked pumping him for information since Jamie had reservations about her neighbour. Perhaps she may learn something useful about her. “She comes here regularly and is the girlfriend of the guitarist in the band,” he replied never taking his eyes from this alluring and interesting woman. “I met him the other night ... but you weren’t here though.” Pulling her in close once more, Jonathon Randall stated, “Well this must be my lucky day ... I don’t normally come to the club ... but I’m glad I did tonight for my birthday celebrations.” “Yeah ... me too.” “So Claire what do you do?” “I’m between jobs at the moment.” “Hmm, perhaps I could offer you a job here at The Triangle. I’m sure we could find something you could do.” “Sounds good. I’ll think about it.” “Don’t think too long.” “Then ... I’ll sleep on it,” she answered back playing him for all he was worth. “I always feel that we miss some of life’s more exciting moments when we sleep,” he replied suggestively dipping her body in time to the music. “Well, I’ll be sure to keep my eyes open,” Claire replied as she peered into his eyes when he lifted her back up against his chest. Jonathon Randall laughed. “Witty and beautiful ... a deadly combination Miss Beauchamp.” “Oh, you don’t know how deadly I can be Mr Randall,” she replied with a beaming smile at the target. Twirling her to the Rumba rhythm he brought Claire flush to his chest once more capturing her look with a penetrating one of he is own. “Hmm ... I just might find out. I like a challenge. Have dinner with me tomorrow night.” “No, I don’t think so. I hardly know you.” “That can be arranged. You know I won’t take no for an answer. I can be very persuasive.” “Well ... if you put it that way ... okay then.” “Good. I’ll send my driver for you.” “That won’t be necessary. I can find my own transport.” “On the contrary Claire … I insist.” “Hmm ... how could a girl refuse ... Where are we going then?” “Why somewhere spectacular of course ... I want to surprise you ... You won’t be disappointed.” “My ... my ... you are full of surprises Mr Randall.” “Jonathon ...” he reiterated as he dipped and spun her in time to the music once more. As he did so Claire noticed that some of his minders were closing in on them ... surrounding them. One of Jonathon Randall’s assistants walked up and whispered silently in his ear conveying that he was obviously needed. Casting his eyes in the direction of Karen and her friend, he said reluctantly ... “Oh, you’ll have to forgive me; there’s something I must personally take care of. Regrettably I must return you to your friend.  However much I want to monopolise your time, ... I can wait Claire Beauchamp, I’m a very patient man.” “Just how I like them ... Patient men intrigue me.” “Good. I’ll expect your answer tomorrow night then.” “Of course.” As they came closer to Karen and her boyfriend, he took Claire’s hand and placed a chaste kiss to her knuckles before taking his leave to check proceedings in the nightclub. “Until tomorrow Claire ... Karen ... Andy.”

 Jonathon Randall then briskly walked off muttering something in rapid Cantonese to his bodyguard.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ to be continued

 N.B. I will post the next chapter on TUESDAY or WEDNESDAY

and  NOT on Friday next week as I am going away for a few days.   My thanks again for reading, liking, reblogging and commenting on this story.  I really do appreciate you doing so.  I will post when I am back home again .

[napofamikrokosmos]

It Follows: Birthday Part 1 - Kim Seokjin

Inspiration: It Follows - Waterparks

Release Date: 3 December 2019. 10 am EST (4 December 2019. 12 am KST)

Genre: Song Fic, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: It’s sad at some parts but otherwise no

Word Count: 1.8k

Synopsis: You and Jin spent years believing your love for each other would never be returned

A/N: Part 2 comes out tonight at Midnight at exactly 12 am EST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIN!

"I'll hide my life savings. In my jacket pocket. A simple sighting will do. I've been playing. The same old chords. Until they start to sound out of tune"

You and Seokjin had known each other long before he knew the trappings of fame. What started as a childhood friendship slowly blossomed into something more. It was painfully slow. Neither of you acting on your feelings, afraid to acknowledge the idea. Many years were spent with the other watching as you each loved other people, with fear that they could be the one.

Even before you were old enough to understand what love was you knew how you felt about Jin, was more than friendship. Jin knew that his emotions would never let him feel as strongly for anyone else as he felt for you. Yet it was like a cycle for the two of you, a cycle of pain and heartbreak. Always finding comfort in the other only to push them to the side when a new person came along.

Jin had to watch you be with guys he knew were never good enough for you. He would always watch you fall apart over boys who didn't know how to treat a girl. It was like an endless cycle. Nights spent comforting you after another guy screwed you over, only for him to choke before he can confess. It was always too late when he gathered the courage.

You stayed by Jin's side every time he ranted about how he found out another girl was just using him. Your heart would always sink at the sight of him hurt or upset. Many nights you spent in his bed, afraid to leave him alone when he was vulnerable. During those nights, rarely did you ever get to sleep. You always find yourself whispering your feelings to his sleeping form. Then morning would come and you'd forget your words at the sight of him.

It felt like you'd both been saving up your love like it was a currency. Never spend too much of it at once on someone. Deep in your heart, you had locked away the truest form of love. 

To everyone around you, they could see how in love you guys were. The only ones who were oblivious to it were you and Jin. All he hoped for was for you to realise that other guys weren't worth your time and they'd never treat you the way you should be. All you hoped for was that he'd stop letting himself get played by girls who only wanted him for his fame.

Not only was it painful for you two, but it was also frustrating for your friends. The rest of the boys were starting to feel bad for their Hyung and his hesitance to confess to you. Your friends were starting to grow restless after years of watching you choose him over everything else.

"I'll hide the things that pain me. In my jacket pocket. And bid the quiet adieu. I've been waiting. Around for nothing. Killing off the 'something to do's"

Seokjin would never admit it but he disliked every guy you'd ever introduced to him. At first, he didn't understand why. Most of the time it was clear they did care about you, and that there were no negative intentions. Yet just the sight of you with someone else was like a stab through the chest. The thought of someone else possibly making you happier than he could, would make his heartache. Jin was too kind to ever make it known. He always buried the pain and covered it up with his jokes and the facade that was his playful personality, especially around you.

Your hope of ever being with Jin would always disappear bit by bit with every new girlfriend you met. Trying your best to be nice to them even when you could see right through their act. Faking a laugh at a joke they told nodding with a tight-lipped smile at any question they asked you. You always tried your best not to make your distaste obvious, for Jin's sake. Every time you saw them together you'd feel your heartbreak even more. It was starting to get pointless waiting around for him to put your heart back together.

As the years went on you drowned your emotions, mostly frustration, into your career. As BTS' fame and popularity grew Jin started focusing more on perfecting himself as a performer. Unintentionally pushing each other away, spending less time together. Watching each other thrive from a distance. 

Weeks passed, then the weeks turned into months. Those months became a year. And that year became multiple. The last time you had seen each other, you were just getting ready to start your new job, and BTS was just starting to become more popular. That was years ago, but when you saw Jin he looked exactly as you remembered him.

Neither of you had time for relationships like you'd had in your younger years. You could both vividly remember the last time the other had been with someone. How badly they'd ended, and how you sought out each other’s comfort. The last time you'd seen each other you barely had time to speak to each other properly.

Despite not speaking to each other in a while, you and Jin still slipped into conversation as if it was natural. You both sat across each other in a cafe in Seoul, during a less busy time of the day. It was the rare moment where your free days had aligned and you and Jin agreed to meet.

"This city is insidious. I'm sitting here delirious. I'm not scared of anything. The city is insidious. I'm sitting here delirious. I'm not scared, no I'm not"

"I've missed you. I've missed this" You smiled as you looked at him, sitting across from you "It's nice seeing you here in front of me as Kim Seokjin my best friend. Not through a screen as Worldwide Handsome Jin of BTS" Best friend, the phrase didn't feel like a good enough title. Every part of you was deafeningly loud with the words, my only love. 

Seokjin laughed shyly before returning the smile "I've missed you too, I've missed my best friend. I'm so proud of you" that's what he said out loud. However the voice in his head was screaming, the love of my life.

At that moment your eyes met his and something clicked. Jin's expression changed as he looked at you, almost as if he could hear your consciousness yelling. You felt your breath get caught in your throat, almost choking on air.

"There's something I need t-" You both spoke at the same time, before cutting yourselves off at the same time. Laughing quietly you turned away from him and tucked your hair behind your ear "Sorry, please go ahead" you mumbled

"I think with my heart. And love with my head. Do you see the problem here? You rip me to shreds. I think with my heart. You fuck with my head. Do you see the problem here?. You rip me to shreds. So tear into me"

It took you slightly by surprise when Seokjin placed his hand on top of yours. He took your hand, slowly and gently rubbing circles into your skin. You blinked a few times looking at your hand in his, before looking at him again. His expression was soft, his eyes stared at you with nothing but adoration.

He took a breath before he finally spoke "I love you. I always have" his voice was quiet, clearly nervous "I spent my whole life knowing I was in love with you. I was just afraid of messing everything up and losing you. Now I know how dumb I was. Ever since I realised how I felt you never left my mind. I thought I could get over it by being with other people, but then I'd see you with a new guy and I'd realise it was only you who I wanted to be with. You've never left my mind, ever since the day we met. I love you and all I've ever wanted was to be with you"

Your mouth hung open slightly as you processed Jin's words. After a moment you laughed shyly and looked away from him. Shutting your eyes for a moment it was your turn to take a breath.

"Please say something" Jin begged quietly

You couldn't you didn't know what to say. All these years you'd spent burying your feelings believing Jin would never feel the same. Only to learn that he'd felt the same way your whole lives. How were you supposed to respond to that? What was he even expecting you to say?

After what felt like forever, Jin couldn't take your silence anymore, and the unchanged expression on your face "This was a mistake" he roughly pulled his hand away from yours. "Maybe I was wrong, I'm sorry for wasting your time"

He got up to leave, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. You finally brought yourself back to reality just as he walked out the door.

"Jin" you sighed softly to yourself "Jin!" you ran after him

He stopped walking and turned around, looking at you blankly. Any semblance of his previous adoration had disappeared. "I don't need you to explain yourself. I think we should just forget this ever happened" he started to walk away again

You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist burying your face into his back "Please! Don't leave! Just listen to me!" You mumbled against the fabric of his hoodie "I love you too. I swear I do. I just didn't know what to say. My whole life I believed I'd be better off with someone else cause I couldn't risk losing you. I love you, I just never thought you felt the same. Please don't leave me!" you felt the tears forming in your eyes "I love you, please, don't leave" you held onto him tighter

Jin was silent for a moment before he sighed, gently releasing himself from your arms. He looked at you and you saw that he was crying too. "I'm not leaving you" he finally said, cupping your cheek and wiping your tears away with his thumb. "I love you"

Leaning in his lips finally met yours. All the years of doubt faded away. All your buried emotions were ignited again. Your lips fit together perfectly, as you melted into each other. Feeling your heartbeat faster. Warmth and comfort flooding through your entire body. 

"Kiss me like nobody would. When I was 15. I've spent some years rewinding. But I'm still just me. Kiss me like nobody would. When I was 15. I don't invite the head rush. But it follows me"

[thatesqcrush]

Impudence, Ch. 1

Prompt: You shouldn’t tease daddy like that kitten. You know I will have to punish you. Rules are rules.

Reader x Rafael. CW: NSFW for language, explicit sex, including BDSM, daddy!kink. Tags: @imtherealriodallas @madpanda75 @barbabangme @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @southern-magnolia @dreila03 anyone else just ask - sorry if I forgot anyone.

*****

“Carmen, is Rafael in?” you asked as you poked your head in.

Carmen looked up from her computer and smiled. “Hi Detective Y/N,” she greeted brightly. Her smile faltered quickly. “He’s in a mood though,” she warned.

“Great. I need a warrant,” you sighed. “Good thing I stopped and brought the really good coffee.” You raised your hand showing off the large cup of coffee. “One is for you.”

Carmen chuckled. “He’s going to need it. Go on in. And thanks for the coffee,” she replied.

You nodded and continued your way to Rafael’s office. No one knew that the Manhattan ADA was secretly in a relationship with their most junior detective.

“Can I come in?” You questioned as you knocked on his door.

The Cuban ADA was on the phone. He looked up and motioned with his fingers for you to come in. His brows were furrowed as he listened intently to the caller on the other side.

“You better hope that the jury doesn’t buy into that sophomoric argument Buchanan,” Rafael snarled. “I’ll see you in court.”

Rafael slammed the phone down and you jumped slightly. “Asshole,” he grumbled.

“I come in peace,” you state, waving the coffee.

“Shut the door, would you?” Rafael replied, rubbing his face. He stood up and walked over, taking the coffee from you. “Thanks.”

You closed the door quietly. “I’m actually here on business,” you began. “Liv sent me down to get a warrant.”

Rafael nodded, taking a large gulp of the coffee you brought. “Oh, this is divine.”

“It’s the reserve blend from that new coffee shop by the precinct,” you began to explain but Rafael cut you off.

“I got something for you,” Rafael stated, pointing over to the couch. “In that bag there.”

“Rafa, you didn’t have to,” you began but he cut you off.

“Who said you could call me Rafa?” He asked, eyes narrowing. His fingers snapped and you immediately lowered your gaze.

“Sorry papi,” you replied.

Rafael’s hands were now on hips. “Okay kitten, go look and see.”

You looked up and smiled and scrambled to the couch, like a giddy child. You reached into the shopping bag and pulled out a large box. You moved to open it but hesitated and looked up. “May I papi?”

“Go ahead kitten,” Rafael replied with a small smile.

You opened the box and squealed at the contents. It was a blush pink corset. There was a delicate but tight weave throughout.

“Wear that tonight,” Rafael ordered you quietly, now standing in front of you. You nodded before dropping the corset onto the couch. You leaped to your feet and pressed a kiss on his lips. “Thank you papi,” you purred.

Rafael wrapped his arms around your waist and returned your kiss. Your phone buzzed and hesitantly you pulled away. You looked at your phone, and looked at Rafael with a frown. “Gotta go, it’s Liv. That warrant? I’ll call you and we will work out the details, okay?” You shoved the corset back into the bag and took it with you.

Rafael nodded, returning back to his desk.

“Will I see you at Forlini’s later?” you asked, turning to face him once more as you made your way to the door. “Carisi’s birthday?”

Rafael nodded. “I’ll see you there kitten.”

****

Rafael made his way into the bar. It was crowded more than usual. “... the fuck is going on?” he grumbled. He was exhausted from prepping for his case and he was not in the mood to really be at the bar but he vaguely remembered Liv mentioning “team building” and it was your partner’s birthday.

He saw the squad sitting in a booth towards the back. Fin waved him over and he pushed his way through the crowd. “Glad you could make it counselor,” Fin replied. “What’s your poison?”

“Scotch. And lots of it,” Rafael replied. He noted you weren’t there. “Where’s Y/N?” he asked nonchalantly.

“At the bar with Carisi,” Amanda replied, taking a swig of her beer. Rafael took off his suit jacket and folded it on to an empty seat. Rolling up his sleeves, he sighed and decided to make his way to the bar.

What he saw, made him stop in his tracks. There you were, in the pink corset he bought you, with a matching blush pink blazer over it and the tightest pair of black cigarette pants. You laughed hard at something Carisi said. Your head was thrown back, exposing your neckline. Your breasts strained against the corset. You reached up and patted Carisi on the arm, before looking over and spotting Rafael.

“Barba! You made it,” you cheered with a wink. You turned back to the bar, slightly sticking your butt out.

“Y/N,” Rafael coughed. “You look lovely tonight. Happy birthday Carisi,” He turned to your partner. “Drinks on me.”

“Thanks Barba,” Carisi replied. “In that case, I’ll have top shelf.”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Y/N and I will bring a round over.”

As Carisi made his way back to the booth, Rafael turned to you, his eyes darkened. “What are you wearing kitten?”

“You said you couldn’t wait to see me wear it tonight,” you replied innocently, batting your eyes.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Rafael replied matter of factly, looking you up and down.

You opened your mouth to reply but the bartender came by and interrupted. “Can I get you something?”

“A round of beers please and a scotch for my dad,” you teased. Rafael’s mouth dropped. You took the opportunity to snatch the credit card in his hand and you ran it across your clavicle before handing it to the bartender. “It’s on him.”

The bartender nodded, taking the card from you. The expression on Rafael’s face turned stony. You inwardly giggled. You were horny and in the mood to be a brat. You knew Rafael was working hard and the most recent case was stressing him out.

You moved closer to him so that you were millimeters from his ear. You brushed a few of salt and pepper strands away. “Come on papi,” you whispered.

Rafael didn’t reply. The bartender came back with six beers and a scotch. Rafael took his drink and walked back to the booth leaving you with the beers. Taking three necks in each hand, you followed suit. You passed out the drinks. “Cheers to the birthday boy,” you cheered. You took a swig of your beer, eyeing Rafael. Rafael raised his glass and took his drink in one mouthful.

“I gotta go,” Rafael replied. “Gotta prep a witness in the morning.” Rafael grabbed his jacket.

“Oh lighten up a bit, you’re a pro,” Amanda replied. “Have another drink.”

Rafael scowled. “Not what I need right now.”

“What our dear counselor needs,” you began meeting Rafael’s eyes. “Is to get laid. He’s wound tighter than a coil,” you teased some more.

The squad chuckled and Carisi let out a whistle. “Thanks for the juvenile psychoanalysis detective. Good night,” Rafael snapped.

You blushed in embarrassment. You knew you had taken it too far. You moved to say something but no words came out. You watched as Rafael made his way back to the bar and cashed out.

“He does need to get some,” Amanda chuckled taking another swig of her beer.

You pretended to look at your watch. “Umm, I totally forgot I needed to feed my neighbors cat, I have to go,” you mumbled your crappy excuse. “Carisi - I’ll see you in the morning. Happy birthday again!” You pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek and said goodbye.

You made your way outside but Rafael was already gone. A cab hurtled down the street and you flagged it down. You gave the driver Rafael’s address. You texted Rafael.

[Y/N, 9:36 PM: Are you home or in the office?]

You saw three dots move, but then stop. You typed again.

[Y/N, 9:37 PM: I am sorry.]

No response came.

You gulped. You knew you were in for it. Exploring kinks had been fun with Rafael and you found you really enjoyed being a sub, more specifically, a brat. It wasn’t anything insidious and you didn’t have any real-life dad issues. Just with your line of work, it was nice to be cared for instead. You also discovered Rafael had a weakness for being called Papi and he enjoyed dominating in both the courtroom and bedroom.

The cab pulled up to Rafael’s apartment building. You paid the fare and buzzed his door. “It’s me,“ you spoke into the speaker. The door buzzed and you let yourself in.

You took the elevator up and when you got to Rafael’s apartment, the door was already cracked open.

“Rafa?” You questioned entering the darkened apartment.

“What did I say earlier kitten? Did I say you could call me Rafa?” a low voice replied. His fingers snapped. “Shut the door.”

You closed the door behind you. “Sit,” Rafael commanded. Relying on muscle memory, you made your way through his apartment to his couch.

You could sense Rafael was on the couch too. Your heart began to race in anticipation.

You felt Rafael move to be next to you. His hand ran up your back gently and then his hand was in your hair, tugging it hard.

“You shouldn’t tease daddy like that kitten. You know I will have to punish you. Rules are rules,” Rafael growled.

TBC

[stevieang]

May I Have This Dance? Chapter 5/?

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston RPF x Plus-Size Reader Insert

Word Count: 3600

Warnings: If too much sweet fluffiness isn’t your thing, then keep on going. This is full-on no-holds-barred fluff, though this chapter throws in some EXPLICIT CONTENT - smut, language, situations, etc. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 years old.

Tags:   @3dsaunt​  @andiyholly​  @averyrogers83​  @babybluesunsets​ @bettercallsabs​ @brittyevans​  @brookebarnes​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @cecygee​​   @csrfavs​​   @docharleythegeekqueen​​  @dorito-distractions​​  @everythingisoverrated​​  @fabicchi​​  @favhearts​​  @flawless-disaster​​  @gifsbysimplysonia​​ @hazeleyedgirl7​​   @hennessy0274-blog​​ @inumorph​​ @jaguars2007​​  @jaamesbbarnes​​ @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​​  @janeyboo​​ @joshburtonhellzyess​  @jouhainak​​ @learisa​​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​ @lilylovescomics​​   @lojo83​​   @lookwhatyoumademequeue​​  @lostinspace33​​  @madicardi​​  @magellan-88​​   @mamapeterson​​   @me-a-hopeless-romantic​​  @meyoko10​​  @mindingmyownbusiness​​ @mizzzpink​​ @neverleturheartshow2​​  @nomadicpixel​​  @part-time-patronus​​ @patzammit​​ @pinkieandthebrain1​​ @redqueen1221​​ @sebbytrash​​  @sgtjbuccky​​  @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​  @stark-spangled-banner-man​​  @st-eve-barnes​​ @stillherebiandabitch​​ @sunriserose1023​​ @suz-123​​ @the-real-kellymonster​​    @tutis24​​ @winterismyfavoriteseason1945​​  @winters-beauty​​ @yaykitty3​​

Summary: Two of your best friends are getting married and you have the honor of singing at their wedding.  At the reception you’re approached by a famous friend of the groom, Tom Hiddleston.  Much polite flirting ensues. Here’s the “more to come.” Enjoy!

A/N: Hey y’all!  Thank you so much for your time, your kind words, and all the good stuff you send my way! I am loving this fic now, and though this chapter took me a long time to start, it flowed once I did.  This chapter had a rough start, but then once I just wrote, no filtering, it came to me.  Of course, that meant a hella lot of editing, but that’s sorta my jam. :)

Now that was different.  A woman he was attracted to and wanted to spend more time with would not accept a gift from him.  He was pissed when she refused, worried when they didn’t talk, and understanding once they had. Guess he’d have to employ one of his weakest skills - patience.  Something - instinct, gut feeling, mojo - told him she was worth waiting for.                      _________________________________ That night, instead of talking, you got to work on a personal project you’d been putting off.  A pile of pictures had been in a box, under your bed, since you moved. When you put them in sequence and tucked the last one into the now-finished album, you felt complete.  As you looked over the pictures of you and John with and without dear friends and family, you felt peaceful. When you put the book away, grabbed your laptop and credit card and began to investigate flights and hotel prices, there was nothing but giddy excitement.  

Giddy morphed into deeply-rooted nervousness as you proceeded through customs at Heathrow.  Within a few days you were able to secure a flight and a place to stay in London that didn’t break the bank and keep all the plans secret - you took that as a sign you were doing the right thing.  You were disappointed that opening night tickets for Tom’s new play, “Betrayal,” were sold out, but you were able to secure good seats to the Saturday evening performance, which gave you a bit of time to get dolled up and obsess about everything.  You were almost certain that Tom would be ecstatic, but a tiny voice poked through your surety and planted insidious seedlings.

The dressing room was filled with flowers and well wishes.  Tom read each one and made sure his assistant knew to whom he should send thanks.  Reading your note was different - he couldn’t pass it on. It filled him with an urge to see you, to nuzzle your neck, holding your luscious body to his.  Goddamnit, this was harder than he thought it’d be. A quick “Thank you, love” text later, and the 5-minute-til-curtain announcement pulled him into the world of the show.

_________________________________

You read the text thanking you for the flowers, and felt ridiculously proud.  You obviously hadn’t given anything away, even remembering to tell him you couldn’t speak on the phone for the day you’d be traveling, as you had “plans.” You were impressed that your description of said plans was sufficiently believable so as not to prompt further inquiries. The day of the premiere you refused to let him think you forgot him, all the while itching to spring your surprise early.

_______________________________

He was supercharged, high off the success of the first night.  There were the usual opening night slip ups, but nothing too major. The chemistry between the three actors was palpable and worked in his favor, as the anchor.  He wasn’t the sexy lothario in this one, he was the wronged husband. He wasn’t the betrayer, but the one who was betrayed, and it felt fucking phenomenal. But….he missed you.  Missed talking and catching up at night. Missed hearing that little gasp when you answered. Missed the way your voice washed over him, soothed him. He was beyond grateful to his friends and family for showing up, and between the show and the after party it was an extremely satisfying and happy night.  Now, at home, alone, when you’d usually be talking, he felt your absence. When his text alert sounded after a brief repose from the lovely congratulations and messages of support, he wasn’t expecting what he read.

You: Congratulations!!! I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and wishing I was there.

Tom: Thank you darling, that means a lot.

You: Do you want to tell me how it went? I understand if you’re exhausted and can’t, but I am very eager to hear how brilliant you were.

Tom was always surprised how good it felt to receive your compliments.  They were sincere and sweet and sometimes exaggerated, but he never doubted you meant them.

Tom: I am a bit tired, but I’ll say that I was quite pleased.  Zawe and Charlie were brilliant and the audience reacted in all the right places.  I remembered my lines and no one fell off the stage, so a good first night.

You: I’m sure you were all amazing, I’m so happy things went as you’d hoped. I snuck outside to text you, so I’ve got to get back. Just wanted to let you know you were on my mind.

Tom: Thank you, love.  You are often on my mind.  I do wish you were here, but I understand why you can’t be.  Watch for the reviews online, ok?

Tom drifted off after saying goodnight, but you were wound up, thinking about the next day and hoping it would be as well received as his first-night performance.                                          _______________________________

When the nerves hit, they hit hard.  As your hair was coiffed, your makeup applied, and your leather jacket draped over your black-and-silver outfit, you liked what you saw. The opening-night reviews had been glowing, and your ticket was already worth more than what you paid for it. Honestly, seeing the production was a lucky byproduct of traveling to see Tom, but you had a hard time focusing on any of it as you cabbed it to the theatre and were shown to your seat.

A million scenarios ran through your head.  Would he see you from the stage? (You were close but not that close).  Would you text him and give him an obliquely-worded hint? (He didn’t look at his phone during the show).  Would you wait for him to exit the theatre at the stage door? (God, these hypotheticals were making you nauseous. Enough.). As the curtain rose to more-than-polite applause, you felt your smile growing as Tom made his entrance and immediately owned the stage.

He was magnificent.  He used his body, his voice - everything he had to transform into the character, to become a completely believable cuckold who was stripped of loyalty from and to the woman he once loved and the friend he once held dear.  Your nerves were gone as you forgot about Tom and just saw his character, Robert. You’d experienced live theatre before, but never like this. Your heart broke for the characters, you wished they could experience their lives in the moment - with raw, real emotion instead of being so….reserved, so….closed off.  

When the final line was spoken and the audience stood and roared its approval for the cast, you continued to think about Tom’s power, his talent, and how much you wanted to experience it first hand, in every way possible.  The show was an aphrodisiac, filling your mind with possibilities and fantasies and your body with jolts of electricity. As the ushers encouraged people to exit, you took out your phone without hesitation.

You: Tom, you were magnificent tonight.  You were raw and powerful and sexy and commanding.  Thank you for being as good at your job as you are, it was a wonderful evening.

You didn’t expect a response, at least not immediately, so you grabbed a drink and some dinner at a nearby pub, thought about the show, and returned to your hotel, lit up with excitement, enjoyment, and expectation.  The clock was taunting you, keeping you mindful of each minute after the time Tom usually texted. You took an almost-hot shower, washing the beautifying lacquer off your hair and face and body, which helped settle you, and flipped through the TV channels, unable to remember anything you saw.

Then.  Your alert tone.

Tom: ????? Did you see the reviews????

You: Yes, I read them last night as you suggested - congratulations to the entire cast and crew - you were all roundly lauded.  After tonight, I can see why.

Tom: Wait…..

You weren’t surprised when the ringer went off as you started typing.

“Are you saying you were at the show tonight? My show? In London?”  You had to smile at his increasingly specific criterion, ensuring that you and he referred to the same place and event.

“Yes.  Tonight.  Your show.  London. It was unbelievable, Tom.”  Waiting for him to speak felt interminable.  You heard him breathe at the other end of the line, and would’ve missed what he said next if you hadn’t focused intently and shut off every other nearby source of noise.

“Didn’t you want to see me afterwards?” You gasped your answer.

“Of course I did, but it’s not like security would have let me backstage, and this isn’t like a 1920’s opera house where I could send a handwritten note by courier, alerting you to my presence - you told me your phone is off until you leave the theatre.” You heard doors closing, clicks, and street noise.

“Where do I tell the driver to go?”

_________________________________________

She was here, in London.  She saw the show tonight and she loved it.  She said he was sexy and raw and powerful. For the second time tonight, his adrenaline raced.  As soon as he read her text, deliberate thought vanished with just her in its place.

_________________________________________

The nerves were back, but this time with a giddy edge.  You considered changing back into your super cute theatre outfit, but decided real was better, and real was you in your pajamas with wavy hair at your shoulders and no makeup.  Well, maybe a smear of clear lip gloss and deodorant, just to make sure.

_________________________________________

Tom: I’m here

You: Room 607

Your breath caught when he knocked, hard.  His head was down, his hands in pockets as you looked through the peephole and unlocked the deadbolt.

You stared.  He stared back, through you, his eyes predatory, his body tense.  

“May I come in?” you both chuckled at him having to ask.  You looked down as you reached for his hand and followed his movement as he kissed it.  You walked backwards until you were far enough inside to close the door and silently hugged him, feeling his chin find its way to your shoulder as your hand ran through his curls.  His arms encircled your lower back with a strength that made you feel so safe, helped you know you were in the right place. His whispers sent shivers down your spine.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here.” He laid tiny pecks along the top of your shoulder and shifted so they could trail up your neck and behind your ears.  “I missed you so much, darling. I could scarcely admit it to myself, but you knew.”

Your hands laced behind his neck as you smiled into his kiss.  You expected passionate groping, but this was soft, sweet, tender.  

You walked him over to the couch, “I missed you, too.  All the steps to get here just sort of happened, so I went with it.”  He smiled, his long fingers lightly brushing along your forehead, randomly dropping delicate kisses along the way, the whisper giving way to a grumbling rasp.  “I’m glad you went with it.”

You turned around and leaned over the back of the couch, your arm outstretched.  You giggled when his arms remained around your middle; his lips intermittently kissing your neck.  When he spotted what you were holding, the famous Cheshire Cat Tom Hiddleston smize lit up his entire face before pulling you in for a kiss that left you breathless.

“Want an autograph?” Your red face may have darkened another shade as he gently took it the Playbill from your hand.

“Actually, this is for you.”  His forehead reactively scrunched up and his laugh softened as you pulled him to sit with you. His face held questions until he realized what was inside - a sort-of scrapbook of your journey to get to that moment - mini pictures of you holding your ticket on the way from the US, going all touristy in London, and smiling while kissing the cheek of the huge poster of him outside the theatre.  He closed it and, without looking away, found your hand, lacing his fingers between yours. You turned the program over so he could read your words and watched as he read, sighed, and closed his eyes.

After a moment, you bent forward and raised your eyes in a silent question.  When his opened, tears balanced on the lower lids. You quickly placed your hands on his cheek and kissed him.

“Thank you, darling.  This is something my ancestors will swoon over when they find it among my most prized treasures.”  You laughed - at his memory for your conversations, at his sentiment, at his sweetness. You leaned back and encouraged him to put his head on your lap, where you sat peaceably, your fingers running through his curls and his absentmindedly running over your thighs, while you talked and laughed, ate takeout and kissed.

“Darling, wake up, come to bed.”  You were disoriented when Tom gently shook you awake and offered you his hand.  The room was dark and you weren’t yet familiar enough to navigate to the bedroom without a light.  You yelped when your feet and legs were run through with pins and needles, but eventually they subsided and you sank into the king-size bed, Tom pulling the covers over you and kissing your forehead.  That woke you up.

“Tom, please stay.  Please, there’s plenty of room and I think we’re both sufficiently tired to guarantee no funny business.  I give you my word I won’t make any untoward advances.” Even in the dark you could see his grin, and were relieved when he slipped back from the bathroom with his shorts and t-shirt on, keeping at least an arms length between you.  After a whispered “good night,” he was asleep, while you were very much awake with decidedly untoward thoughts running through your head.

You must have fallen asleep, because the streaming sunlight and your bladder were prompting your eyes to open and your body to get out of bed.  Tom slept, his face peaceful, his arm reaching out towards you. Morning business done, you started the electric tea kettle and bundled up in a sweater on the couch, looking out onto London.  

“What a beautiful sight to wake up to.”  You smiled to yourself as Tom made himself a cup of Earl Grey and sat down next to you, placing a kiss on your cheek.  You pulled your feet under you and fell in next to him, reveling in the warmth from his arm holding you close and his kisses on the top of your head.  The silence was easy and companionable, but it masked your jitters and edginess and awkwardness. Welcome back to your usual trifecta of feelings when you were uncomfortable.

You gently extricated yourself and stood close to the window, looking down at the big bustling city and sighed.  You didn’t notice him cross to the same window until he put a hand on your shoulder and gently turned you to face him.  

“It’s a bit early in the day to be sighing, dearest.  You ok?”

You were ok, really, but your small smile didn’t convince him of that.  You tried to sell it in the face of his unbelieving look.

“Yes, just tired I think.  All the traveling, excitement to surprise you, seeing you, the play….I could go on.” You couldn’t say what you were thinking, couldn’t tell him - clingy didn’t look good on anyone, so you tried walking away but he held firm, pulling you in for a languid, dreamy kiss.  Your sigh was different, this time full of satisfaction and pleasure. His eyes found yours as you practically glowed.

“Can I try one more tactic to solve this mystery?”  You face belied your suspicion, but you nodded your consent, irregardless.

He took your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately than he ever had while he walked his hands under the waistband of your pajamas.  His long fingers spread across the expanse of your ass, squeezing, rubbing, and eliciting a long, low moan. Your back arched as your arms circled tighter around his shoulders, unwilling to let him loose.  When you broke apart for oxygen, he walked you backwards towards the bedroom.

You stood at the end of the bed, unable to get each others’ clothes off fast enough - your nightshirt flew across the room, his pants were kicked away, until you were in your undies and he only his boxers.  His eyes raked over you with laser precision, not missing a roll or dimple or bump. All you felt was fire - alive, hot, and burning, through every part of you. You reached out for him, wrapping his arms around your back to unclasp your bra and then standing pressed to each other, skin to skin, unable to stop what was going to happen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He had to ask twice before your brain registered words, and you were so damn hot from him kissing down your body, before you were both naked, you could barely formulate coherent speech.  You pulled him up and kissed him hard, pushing his boxers down while shimmying out of your boy shorts. In between urgent panting breaths, you gave the abbreviated version, before laying down on the bed and watching him prowl up your body, maximizing how much of his skin touched yours.  It didn’t matter, it wasn’t ever going to be enough.

You threw your head back, lifting your body off the bed, the sight of Tom staring through you increasing your arousal by the second.  He started to move off the bed, your protests making him smile while he pulled a condom out of his pants pocket. Before he could open it, you motioned him to travel back up your body.  When he stopped too early you scooted down so his engorged dick was directly over your mouth. You gently held the base, twisting and applying pressure as you moved up and down, feeling the rhythmic pulse of the vein running from root to tip as it bulged in your hand.

_______________________________________

Tom could not believe he was in her room, on her bed.  She was here with him, in London, because she wanted to be - no coercion, no false pretenses, just her quiet confidence in her feelings.  Whatever those feelings were, they were more than reciprocated. She captivated him, from her glee at the surprise, to the scrapbook, to the inscription - they made his heart practically jump out of his chest; he could not believe his luck.  When she opened the door, he wanted to hold her, wanted to kiss her and tell her sweet things she should hear every day of her life, and wanted to be with her in any way she wanted.

Though he wouldn’t have predicted falling asleep together, fully clothed, on the couch in a hotel room as the way his night would end, it was perfect.  They didn’t hold back, just did what felt right at the moment, and it worked. When he woke and heard her quietly singing in the living area, his heart lit up before he even opened his eyes, and when he saw her watching his city, having a cuppa, he was reminded of what attracted him in the first place.  She was peace. She was light. He hoped she was his.

Right now, though, she was under him giving him what may have been the best blow job he had ever experienced.  He kneeled above her face, clenching every muscle below the waist, but as she grabbed his ass and worked him with her mouth, it became increasingly difficult to stay still.  

“Darling, darling, stop.”  As painful as it was - literally - he sat back on his haunches, popping out of her mouth.  He looked at her swollen lips, lusty eyes, and tore open the condom and rolled it on, no fluffing needed. He felt “it” - the desire for everything about her, everything she was, flood his senses.  He could only do one thing, let her feel him, feel how much he felt for her.

_______________________________________

You scooted back to the head of the bed and couldn’t help but run your hands over your full tear-drop breasts, your torso covered in a landscape of lines you were once ashamed of but now knew were your prizes for living and surviving. Tom’s face was...different. He leaned forward over you, capturing your lips in a kiss so simple, so pure while encouraging you to get ready for him to be inside - the only place you wanted him to be.

As he broke the kiss you warned him how loud you could get.

“Guess I’ll have to think of ways to keep that pretty mouth busy, then.”  He nudged your legs wider apart, and proved what a good man he was.

“Do you want this, my love? Do you want me?” It was unfathomable to you that he might think you didn’t, but you gave your consent faster than you thought possible, kissing him in appreciation.

“Yes, please, I’m so ready, I need you so badly baby.”  With his forehead leaning against yours he used his tremendous strength to hold himself up on his forearms while he slid inside.  He was surprised when he didn’t need to slowly inch in, that you were able to take him in without pain, and ask for more, faster, harder almost immediately.

He started rocking back and forth, holding the headboard while following your every command.  You both knew there was no way you would hold back for long, and neither of you wanted to. Within half a dozen strokes, he was so close he could cry, and your entire body felt like lava, completely molten and unable to cool.  You wanted nothing more than to yell out you could not take another second without coming, and he knew. He leaned in, rasping out all the encouragement you needed to let go and cum furiously all over his cock, immediately pulling him with you over the edge.

If it was possible to feel like lead and air at the same time, you were there.Your body hadn’t been fucked that gloriously in a very long time, and it filled you with an afterglow that anyone would see, but also with the need for sleep.  To sleep, perchance to dream of this wonderful man breathing deeply beside you, watching you adoringly, and wanting nothing more than to stay right where he was for as long as you wanted him.  

Chapter 6

[cecilspeaks]

141 - Save Dark Owl Records

The prison of your own mind is undergoing budget cuts.

Welcome to Night Vale.

Today I’d like to open the show with a statement from a local business owner, Michelle Nguyen.

Michelle: An insidious presence has invaded our town. That presence is located in the Night Vale mall and is called the Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express. I’ve seen you shopping there, Night Vale, and I want you to know you’re all murderers with the figurative blood of independent record stores dripping from your hands. “No, no” you’ll say, “that isn’t figurative blood, it’s literal barbecue sauce from the Black Angus barbeque bacon burger and it’s delicious!” You’ll keep blathering on how about “Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express keeps thick juicy beef burgers layered in between your albums, so you can flip past them and impulse eat as you shop. It’s so convenient!” [angrily] Well you know what? Convenience is another words for laziness. When you come to my store, to Dark Owl Records, you have to earn your music! Our extensive underground section is kept literally underground, and you have to dig random holes in the dirt to find it. We don’t provide you with a shovel, you can’t even bring your own. You must use your fingers. Broken knuckles and fingernails peeled back to the quick are the sign of a true music lover. Sometimes, you won’t find music you think you like, but then you realize that the rhythmic grunts and scrapes of bloodied hands into rocky earth is itself music.

Anyway, come to my fundraiser tonight at Dark Owl Records. It’s a party, and parties are the worst, but I don’t have the money to pay my bills anymore and it’s your fault, so just show up and do the right thing, or I’ll go out of business. Ok, thanks!

Cecil: Thank you, Michelle. Our radio station is doing a remote broadcast live today at the Save Dark Owl fundraiser. We’ll do some interviews and there’ll be live bands, and it should be a lot of fun. Hope you see you down here, Night Vale! Come show your support for local small business.

But first, a word from our sponsor. Today’s program is brought to you by the Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express. The popular franchise mashup had its grand opening only three weeks ago and is already a booming success. From their regional frosty treats, like the cactus thorn malt, to their wide selection of best of complication albums. There’s something for everyone at Food Barn Gladtown Records Express. And by popular demand, there’s now extra fry sauce on everything, including the Bluetooth headphones. You don’t even have to ask for it. You have to ask if you don’t want fry sauce, and you have to give a good reason why not, like uh, a signed doctor’s note. Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express. Your community entertainment culture conglomerate.

And now, a public service announcement.

Deb: Hey old friends! Corporeal humans, cor-corporeal humans, former babies, future corpses, this is Deb, a sentient patch of haze, speaking for the department of motor vehicles. We know you haven’t heard from us in a while. But [blows raspberry] we haven’t heard from you either. Relationships are a, [clicks tongue] two-way street, so to speak. But [hiccups], I know there’s been some tension and things have gotten a little weird between us. No need to get into that right now. Or ever again, as far as we’re concerned. But if you wanna come over some time and just talk, just say hi or anything, then the department of motor vehicles will be opening our doors for one hour every weekday between 2 and 3. That’s all we have to give emotionally right now. Self..care. We would like to see you again though just to [emotionally] hear your voice. We hope you’ve been doing well. [hiccups] We’re a little drunk, and it’s late. Man, we just got done watching Carol for the third time in a week. [angrily] And you haven’t really been posting on social media lately, so we just wanna know what’s going on with you. [drinking noises] Again, no pressure, no strings attached, and if it gets crowded you could always take a number as usual. But the DMV wants you to know whether your number 19 or 99, you’re always number 1 to us! [snorts] [cries] We, we miss you. We miss you.

Cecil: Listeners, we’re here live at Dark Owl Records, and the fundraiser is getting off to a great start! People are buying shards of records they dug out of the ground, there’s a cake with thick black frosting and undulating tendrils. Mm, looks delicious! There’s an effigy of the Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express with a lot of long pins sticking out of it. And at the center of all the excitement is Dark Owl owner herself, Michelle Nguyen, and her girlfriend Maureen. What a treat! Hey you two, wanna say hello to all of Night Vale? Ah that’s weird. Uh, Michelle sent me a text right now while simultaneously staring unblinkingly into my eyes from three feet away. Uh, her text says: “We heard the spot you did for Burger Barn Gladtown Rec Ex and we are not speaking to you at this time. Please leave my party, Cecil.” Oh I get it, oh no, this is a, a simple misunderstanding, Michelle. See, in radio journalism, we have a moral responsibility to play ads and make lots of money. I see where you’re confused. Does that help clear things up? Aaand Maureen is pouring ice coffee all over my laptop. I’ll go find a towel, while you go to the weather.

[A Pale Sun Rises Over New York" by Scrawnyman, https://scrawnyman.bandcamp.com]

Michelle: Hey, this is Michelle. Cecil had to go away, but there was a hastily assumed agreement I would take over the show while he’s gone, so here I am, Michelle. Broadcasting live from my own party, which is better than mingling with people and being all social and stuff, right? Uh, no offense to anyone who’s here, but this is the first party I’ve ever agreed to attend and it was only out of desperation. I mean, all parties are born out of some form of desperation. Ugh, parties are the worst! I wish everyone would go home. No, no, don’t go home, it’s so nice that you’re here… I guess. But you know what else is nice? Being alone. Or mostly alone. That’s really what independent record stores stand for, you know? Individuality, independence, isolation. Don’t follow the herd, go home, be alone. It’s the best. 

Oh shoot, I was afraid something like this would happen. I mean, everything’s fine, there’s just a little situation out back. I’m gonna hand the mic over to Maureen while I deal with this.

Maureen: Um, hello? Hey, uh, this is Maureen. Don’t be scared or anything. A-actually be scared, but not about what I’m going to tell you. So what happened is some people were digging in the underground music section and the ground kind of split apart and now there’s a giant, like arthropod thing. Uh, it’s tearing people’s limbs off and whatever. Seems really mad and people are screaming, there’s like a lot of blood, blood is so stupid. But Michelle has it under control now. She’s kicked out everyone but the spider crustacean thing, because it was the only one who wasn’t being fake about its love of music. So yeah um, come on down to the store. Uh remember: we’re here to save Dark Owl! And even though the biggest section is the not for sale rack, there’s still a lot of great things to choose from. I know that some of the best things I’ve ever found have been here. Michelle, for one. Uh, don’t tell her I said that.

Also earlier today, I was crawling around inside the ventilation system, and I thought it would be really narrow and claustrophobic like air closed shafts usually are, but actually it kept growing wider and taller until I could stand up and walk around. I could even run if I wanted to. The ducts and passageways unfolded in front of me and I felt totally lost, but in a good way. I ran and ran and somewhere along the way I lost my flashlight and it didn’t matter. I could see with a sense other than vision, maybe it was taste. Ductways tasted like an everything bagel, and that guided my way. Then I could taste voices outside the vents. A voice I knew well was talking to a customer about a color limited edition single of “Love Will Tear Us Apart” on one side and “Love Will Keep Us Together” on the other. The record’s cover art depicted the eruption of Mount St Helens, but like a year before it actually happened, which makes it super valuable. I followed the taste of their voices, which was like green apples but the artificial candy flavor version, and I ended up in the obsolete media bunker behind the register, where I lay down on a pile of warm Sheena Easton singles and CD-roms filled with corrupted Limewire files. And that’s where I am now. Aand I’m gonna take a nap. Bye! [snoring]

Michelle: Hey Night Vale, I’m back. It’s all under control now. Sorry, I have kind of a contentious relationship with my neighbor Matt. He’s a 15-foot coconut crab that lives underneath the lot behind our store. We usually get along OK, but he really does not like parties, and I should have told him in advance, but I was busy and totally forgot, so my bad. Anyway, I let Matt eat the patrons who were wearing airpods and he was happy, so the party is still going strong. Most of the people are dead or have been kicked out, but I wanna make it clear that the party is still happening. So come on down to Dark Owl Records and save our store! Honestly, things are so much better now that everyone’s gone, so this is really the perfect time to show up. We have some special listening stations where you can browse all your favorite genres, like silence, post-silence, proto-silence, under-silence… I know you guys might not have heard of under-silence yet, but that’s like when the headphones are projecting what’s inside of you back into your own ears and you can hear your internal organs processing blood and fluids, and you’re filled with the awe of how all these seemingly archaic gooey parts can possibly work together to keep you alive and functioning, and you eventually pass out and/or vomit.

[sighs] I really don’t know what I’ll do if I have to leave this place. I’ve spent so much time here, I don’t even remember where my house is. One night after work, I walked down the street I thought it was on, but nothing looked familiar. And I kept walking for hours. I finally saw my house, but when I walked in, the door opened into the kitchen instead of the living room, and there was this family I’d never seen before eating dinner. There were four large serving bowls of mashed root vegetables on the table. The family didn’t notice me at all, they ate their mush and talked about their days. The mom was worried about the new boss at work, and the son forgot to go to his dentist appointment, and the daughter had a chemistry test that went okay. I didn’t want to freak them out, so I et myself out the back door and kept walking until it as morning. And in the cacophonous creak of dawn, I ended up back at Dark Owl just in time to open for the new day. And it didn’t matter, you know, that I couldn’t find my house because –

Wait, what’s this? An empty-eyed courier child just handed me an envelope. There’s a, there’s a check inside, and it’ a coupon for something called the “100 percent fish hot dog”, and a hand written note. It says, “Hello, my name is Jules, and I’m the franchise owner at the new Burger Barn Gladtown Records Express. Here is the rest of the money for your fundraising goal. When you become a franchise owner like me, you’ll think to yourself, ‘oh cool I’m an entrepreneur now, I’m going to be my own boss. I’m finally going to have agency in my life, you know?’ At least that’s what I thought when I filled out he online personality test that told me I had what it takes. I’m a type 23: outgoing but grounded. I’m detail-oriented but I can also see the big picture. I’m competitive, but I follow the rules. Classic type 23.” The note goes on. “But there are so many rules, Michelle. You have to conform when you’re in a franchise. And if you don’t, you’ll go under. Not merely monetarily, but to this place they refer to only as the cavern. If you end up there, you don’t ever come out again. Anyway, one rule is that we need at least one business competitor to remain open at all times. Until our lobbyists overturn the Sherman anti-trust act, we need Dark Owl Records to stay in business. So please take this money. I don’t wanna go to the cavern. Please, Michelle. Sincerely, Jules.”

OK, not sure how to deal with this right now if I’m honest. This person opened up a rival record franchise, and now they wanna give me money from their corporation to stay in business? I dunno. I need to go soul searching. I need to listen to some ambient room tone tracks used under famous movie scenes. I really like the one from the diner in “When Harry Met Sally”. Whatever, I guess. [steps, door closes]

[steps] Cecil: Night Vale, I’m so sorry I left you. I went to get a towel to clean up the spilled ice coffee, and there was this giant spider lobster thing, he-he cornered me and I couldn’t escape. He just kept talking and talking and god, he was boring! The worst person to run into at a party. I didn’t know how to get out of the conversation without being rude, uh I finally said I’d go grab us both a slice of cake and sidled out of there. I hope everything went OK while I was gone. Let’s see. Oh, there’s no one really left. The radio gear has been abandoned except a sleeping Maureen under my chair. There’s an inordinate amount of blood on the floor, and hey looks like the little cardboard thermometer that shows the fundraising goal has been fully colored in! Wow! We did it Night Vale! I guess that means there’s enough money to keep Dark Owl in business, at least through this month’s bills. That’s the thing about bills, they keep happening.

Well, whatever the future holds, the party was clearly a success. As was this ultra fun remote broadcast. So music lovers, kick back, put on your fry sauce-dosed headphones, listen to your newly purchased album shards, and put some vitamin E cream on those knuckles! Stay tuned next for the cla-cla-clack of CD cases being browsed, like a fluttery little heartbeat in the darkness.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: A good way to tell if an artistic idea is worthwhile is to remember that the most successful video game of all time is “a plumber steps on turtles”, so who knows?

[btshodown]

With Eyes Wide Shut

↳ A Halloween movie marathon is in order when you find Jungkook shyly asking about your plans for the night. Although, it seems as if lines are getting a bit blurred and you decide that for just this one night you’ll keep your eyes wide shut. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre/Warnings: A super fluffy and sweet cake that somehow makes you sad, Staff/Chubby Noona Au Word Count: 2k+

➭  Happy Halloween! This totally isn’t late at all Anyway yeah, please enjoy this baby of a drabble that I started while at work. This one is in the same AU as the Yoongi and Jiminnie one. I’ll probably go back into my masterlist and create its own section.  Its up now under the OT7 category <3

“Noona, are you going to dress up for Halloween?”

At hearing the youngest call to you, you turn around to face him, momentarily pausing your work of arranging the 7 costumes. You blink your eyes at him and purse your lips in thought, glancing down at the red Power Ranger helmet in your hands. Normally back home all you would do on the holiday was simply decorate your studio apartment and buy a big bowl of candies for the Trick o’ Treaters; passing the night with boozy hot chocolate and scary movies. You rarely went to parties and couldn’t really remember when the last time you actually dressed up was.

Now that you moved countries and worked at Bighit, you hadn’t even spared Halloween a second thought. Too busy helping out with what the boys needed and getting their costumes arranged for their yearly Halloween dance practice.

“Probably not,” you answer after a second of silence with a shrug, “I was thinking of just going home and watching movies honestly.”

You watch with fond amusement as Jungkook slightly pouts at your answer, no doubt hoping to hear your costume idea and possible plans. Usually at least half of the boys would do something for the holiday, whether it was going with friends or amongst themselves, but from what you had heard, the youngest wasn’t going anywhere. With a twitch of your lips you gently go back to arranging the outfits, half of your body still turned to the maknae.

“Did you want to join me on watching scary movies and munching on snacks Gukkie?”

You try your best to bite back your giggle when you see him startle from your peripheral, witnessing his ears begin to go a little red.

“I – can I?” His voice is soft and his words were slurring from his obvious nervousness; you also had to swallow down your squeal from how adorable he is. “It’s just…the hyungs are going out or staying at home, but I don’t wanna be alone. B-but I also don’t want to impose –”

Your small chuckle cuts his rambling off as you place a gentle hand on his hand, stopping his nervous picking of his nails. “You’re not imposing since I invited you Gukkie. Don’t worry about it okay? I haven’t spent time with you lately so it’ll be a nice way to catch up.”

Your heart squeezes in emotion as he unleashes his wide, happy smile on you, nose and eyes scrunched with his bunny teeth in full display. You had a soft spot for all of the boys, but there were no lies in the youngest being able to endear just about anyone; Jimin being right at his neck with his charm. Having both of them come at you with their smiles was lethal to your heart and you always swore they’d end up killing you.

“Thank you so much noona! I can’t wait for it! I have so many movie ideas too!”

You continue your work as you listen to him list off the different movies he has in mind, chiming in with your own agreements and additions. It was hard to not get excited about it when you had him practically bouncing from giddiness and it only made you wish the next week would pass by quickly.

Excitement bubbles in your stomach as you put the final touches in your living room, not wanting to admit that you may have gone a little overboard with decorating for your movie marathon with Jungkook. Orange fairy lights gently fall above your couch and over the glass of your TV stand, giving off a soft glow that complimented the tiny pumpkins you spread out. An assortment of chips, popcorn and candy fill your coffee table as you finish pouring out some boozy hot cocoa into some Halloween themed mugs; just in time it seems as you hear your doorbell ring.

You try your best not to skip over to the door and take in a breath, pushing away the thoughts of how long it’s been since you’ve celebrated Halloween with someone else, only thinking of how much fun tonight will be instead. With a determined nod, you open the door and greet the younger boy with a grin.

“Right on the dot, hey Gukkie,” you step aside to let him in, watching him with curiosity as he shuffles in shyly with a large backpack, hands clutching the straps as he looks around your decorated apartment with wide awe filled eyes. “What do you got in the bag Guk?”

“Oh!” Jungkook comes back to life as he animatedly swings the backpack around to his front and squats down, rummaging through it until he takes out two articles of clothing. One pair you realize is his Cooky pajamas you’ve often caught him wearing in their filming and the other was a Cooky one piece, the hood adorned with the characters eyes and floppy ears. “I uh, I remembered you said you wouldn’t dress up so I thought maybe…we could kinda dress up together? You don’t have to! I just thought…yeah.”

Your lips slowly stretch out into an endeared grin as you watch him shuffle timidly, his slight nervous slur coming back as he doesn’t look you in the eyes, too busy staring holes into the one piece was no doubt brought for you to wear. There was no denying the rapid beating of your heart from trying to contain your cooing and sudden need to squish his cheeks; he had no business being so fucking adorable when he was a damn 21 year old man.

With tentative hands, you reach out to take the pink onesie from his fidgeting hands and offer him a kind smile when he peeks at you from under his dark fringe. “I think it’s a great idea Gukkie and I kinda wish I had thought of wearing pj’s if I’m being honest,” you pause as you grin slyly at him, holding the onesie to your chest, “is there any reason why you got me the Cooky one specifically?”

His eyes widen a bit at your question and you can’t hide your soft snort as his cheeks get a bit pink, his hand coming up to pick at the baby hairs on his cheek before he tries his hardest to come off as composed. “Because Cooky is the best one, duh.”

Letting out a soft laugh you shake your head and motion to the bathroom, before turning around to go into your room. “Of course, how can I forget? The bathroom is over there if you want to change while I go change in my room. If you finish before I do, just start picking out the first movie.”

You didn’t even need to look behind you to know the maknae dutifully nodded his head and quickly took off his shoes before heading to your bathroom. Now your only problem is wondering how you’ll fit in the onesie once you close your door, frowning softly at the material. You have no doubt that this was the onesie Jungkook owned, the scent of it alone was a clue were it not for the obvious size difference. Deciding to ignore the fact that he gave you his own onesie as opposed to getting a new one, you keep a light camisole underneath and trade your jeans for spandex shorts, knowing that later on you’d end up getting hot in the suit.

A sigh escapes you once you have the onesie on, staring at your reflection with a frown as you see the way the buttons on your chest are barely holding on and the ones on your stomach seem tight, but the sleeves and pants are comically long. Before your thoughts can take a one way ticket to the Depressed Bitch train, you pull the hood over your head and quickly look away from the mirror as you walk out your room. You’re greeted with the sight of a snuggly looking Jungkook cross legged atop your couch, with a ps4 controller in his hands as he flicks through the different scary movies provided. Your mood instantly lifts again as you waddle over to the young idol and can’t help yourself from smacking him softly in the face with the long sleeve of the onesie, practically cackling as he sputters out in surprise. But before he could whine at you for hitting him with the sleeves of his onesie, he stops short as he really takes you in.

“Wow, you look really cute in my onesie noona, you look so small.”

It was your turn to feel your ears get hot, thankful for the hood as you flop onto the couch beside him, smacking him with the long sleeve again as you pull your mug off the coffee table and into your hands. “Stop trying to flatter me, I know I look stupid. Just pick a movie Gukkie.”

Jungkook pouts a bit, but decides to not argue on how wrong you were and instead goes back to his choices; eventually deciding on the ever classic Friday the 13th. With his own mug of boozy hot cocoa in his hands and a bowl of popcorn balanced in his crossed legs, your marathon begins; mainly you hugging your throw pillow for life and Jungkook laughing at you when he wasn’t absorbed into the TV. The night rolls along and before you know it, it’s past 2 am, Insidious is playing and you nearly let out a shrill scream when you feel something heavy land on your lap.

Instead, you swallow your scream and only jump a bit before looking down to stare in confusion at the dark head of hair now resting on your lap. It takes a few moments to process that the head on your thighs is Jungkook’s and he must have fallen asleep at one point, gravity doing the rest. Your belly warms at the sight and before you can stop yourself, your fingers begin to thread through his soft locks, while the other hand is quick to click out of the horror movie and back onto the main screen. Not having the heart to wake up the maknae, you grab your phone and type of a quick text to the group chat to let the rest of the boys know the youngest member would be sleeping on your futon tonight.

After turning off your console and TV, you begin to gently try and move Jungkook over so that you can turn the couch into the futon, but a sudden pair of arms around your waist prevents you from even moving. Glancing down, you realize with a start that sleepy doe-eyed eyes are staring into your own and Jungkook apparently had woken up sometime during you trying to move him.

“Can we sleep like this?” his voice is soft and full of sleep, but at seeing you pause long enough to show your hesitation, he quietly adds, “Please?”

Despite how close you are with the boys, there is no doubt an invisible line you do not and should not cross; any feelings that weren’t professional and amicable were always a slippery slope and something your superiors frowned upon. Even if it meant feeding into emotions that were being given to you, but in spite of knowing this and trying your hardest to not cross that line, you’re not sure how you somehow managed to suddenly be in Jungkook’s arms. His mouth is dangerously close to your ear as he nuzzles his nose into your hair and his legs easily tangle into yours, the attempt to take out the futon long forgotten as he slots your bodies into the small couch.

The night is soothingly still as you close your eyes, trying your hardest to ignore how at ease you feel despite the red alarm blaring behind your lids; there was no use in stressing out about the blurred line, not when Jungkook held you so close to his chest as if cherishing a moment that would never happen again. You both knew that the moment the light of the sun spilled through the cracks of your curtains, this small moment being shared would have to be shattered, never to be known outside of your small apartment.

“Thank you noona,” his voice is only a breath against your ear as his arms tighten around you more, as if trying to erase any remaining space that may have been between your bodies.

Your only response is a gentle flutter of your lips against his jaw, not a kiss or peck, but just the simple touch of your skin against his; something that could easily be mistaken for imagination come tomorrow morning.

[webirthdaywishesposts-blog]

Best Wishes for Dad and Mom

Mothers hold a one of a kind spot in our lives just as in our spirits also. They are a gift to us from God, and they dedicate their lives to our success and fulfillment. We believe that their veneration and affection can never be repaid. In any case, on their unprecedented days like a birthday, you can try a couple of undertakings and make her vibe extraordinary and sprightly. Express happy birthday mother to the person who is an extraordinary soul. Send some phenomenal birthday needs for mother since she is extremely a one of a kind person. Send cunning wishes for her on her birthday. In case you are on the output for the right words to wish your mom on her birthday, you have touched base at the perfect spot since we can help you with what to write in a birthday card for mother and she is no ifs, ands or buts going to worship it. Your mom is remarkable in her ways hence should be her birthday. Send your mummy the all the best, and she will constantly be happy for you. For your enchanting mother, pick charming birthday refers to for mother. Such birthday references are sure to be worshiped and increased in value by her beginning and end through her life.

Happy birthday, Mother! I need you to understand that I am nothing without you, anyway I can be everything with you close by. Worship you!

Only a super mother can do all that you do and still look bewildering every day! Energetic birthday to a mother who just keeps getting increasingly young on the most key dimension.

Every birthday memory I have consolidates you lighting the candles on my cake. Thankful to you for all that you have done, and I am foreseeing giving back where its due this week's end.

If you were not my mom formally, by then I would be absolutely envious of whoever was your daughter. You're astounding, Mother. Energetic Birthday!

Energetic birthday to my mom… the woman who yielded various a significant minutes for an incredible duration, so I could have them in mine.

Despite what I've said yet where it includes in my heart, you are the one I respect, stay steady with and love returning home to. Merry birthday mother.

The stunning memories of my childhood have transformed into my shadow. They tail me wherever I go, and I believe it is always so. Happy birthday mother.

In case I can grow up to end up being even a Tad bit of what U are, I will see myself as to have achieved a Great arrangement. Playful birthday mother.

Dear Mother, You are the best mother on earth. Happy Birthday Mother!

Mother as the birthday occasions are coming, U are getting the opportunity to be progressively energetic. Cheery birthday mummy.

Mother I so lucky to have a mother like you. You are my nearest partner. Happy birthday sweet and kind mother

Mother happy birthday to you, I am what I am today essentially as a result of U.

All that I am or ever might want to be, I owe to my blessed dispatcher mother. Cheery Birthday mother.

As mothers and young ladies, we are related with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and certifiable. She is my blood, guaranteeing it runs rich and strong. She is the throbbing of my heart. I can't by and by imagine a presence without her. Peppy Birthday mother.

Favored is a mother that would surrender some bit of her soul for her children's ecstasy. Sprightly Birthday mother.

I would express that my mother is the single most noteworthy genuine precedent in my life, anyway that term doesn't seem to sufficiently incorporate when I use it about her. She was the friendship for my life. Happy Birthday mother.

The sun is glad to shimmer progressively splendid today. The moon would be happy to appear to be cooler tonight. The stars will keep celebrating in the sky when they're out. All since they're lauding my kid.

U are the one I guaranteed to reliably verify, love and care for, you are my mother and no insidiousness will anytime come to you. Happy Birthday my mummy!

Having a mother is incredible anyway having a Mother like you is the best. You're not just the best, you're better than the best. You're one out of a sort. Happy birthday to you mother.

U will reliably and never-endingly be the primary woman I will give my heart to. U are my mom and nothing will ever change that. Have an outstanding birthday my mom.

Happy Birthday to a mother who's just everything at home and a long way from it. The best cook, the best mate and the most capable at work. All the veneration on the planet for U.

Happy Birthday, Unobtrusive mother. I genuinely wish I can take you to a social event and hit the move floor with U. In any case, you wouldn't keep running with me. Regardless, I need you to understand that you're loved a ton.

Lively Birthday to a mother who reliably have answers for each bother we cause. You're our very honored delegate mother and no one can supersede your impact on us. Love U starting here until for eternity.

Today is the day when I ensure not to cause any of the burden that I caused the rest of the year. Value a serene birthday since U never appreciate what I may do tomorrow. Just kidding. You're staggering! I'll be incredible, I ensure.

Birthday occasions look like chocolate. It's best not to keep count of what number of you have, and essentially welcome them. Playful birthday to the best mother I know.

As U rise early today, I believe you welcome the crisp outside air stacked with mind blowing light and relish the sound of peeping winged creatures. May every morning of this new year be as splendid and unprecedented as the pleasure you pass on to my life. Happy birthday, Mother!

Mother, when you mentioned that I look for after my dreams, sadly that you were surrendering yours for mine. Much valued, cheery birthday.

Right when U guided me, I thought you were slowing down me. Regardless, thinking back I comprehend that you were truly giving me wings. Cheery birthday.

Mother, this time I censured you for attempting to change my character, just to recognize thinking back that all you were simply consoling me to be who I genuinely am. Bright birthday.

Despite where U are, paying little heed to what you're doing… home will constantly be the spot your mom is. I confide in this, happy birthday mother.

Send birthday welcome for mother on her birthday. Moms and young ladies constantly share a remarkable relationship and these birthday needs for mother from young lady will in like manner be comparatively outstanding. While young ladies are unprecedented, kids and mothers share a bond which is outstanding in its way. Send birthday wishes from youngster and make that bond more grounded. Send diverting birthday wishes, and she will acknowledge solid laughing. For those whose mothers are their guard favored detachments now, we have birthday needs for mother in heaven too. Express happy birthday mummy to your mother, and she will be reached by your movement. Send these best birthday needs for mother since she is the best and merits just the best. The birthday insights for her will remain cut in her heart.

Birthday Messages for Mother:

Reliably I wake up, I for the most part have you to thank. I have your heading, your sparkle, your worship, and your heart: someone who loves me truly. Right or wrong, U are perpetually my Mother.

Mother, it's not possible for anyone to ever have your spot in my heart. I appreciate U forever. Notwithstanding where I go or whom I meet, you will constantly be Number One to me.

Dear mother, I have to state express profound gratitude to U for delivering me and supporting me reliably. You are truly the best mother an individual can have. I appreciate you. Happy birthday!

Out of the impressive number of mothers out there, U have surely crossed the most, since raising me was apparently an awful dream. In any case, notwithstanding all that you endured it and revered me on and on, and for that, I value you. Happy birthday!

Only a mother will take confidence in your best even in the wake of seeing you most ideal situation.

No one else is as lucky as me, since I have a mother as brilliant as you. Cheery birthday.

The stuff you heat is an incredible plan to be substantial, yet not using any and all means half as sweet as you. Lively birthday mother.

Mother, for as long as you can remember, your petitions have reliably been for our fulfillment. Today, my request is for you. Happy birthday.

Mother I feel so lucky to have a mother like U. You are my best friendHave an uncommon day sweet and kind mother!

I wish greater quality and ability to every one of you the time,I trust God will reliably be with you, like U are to us. Peppy bday mother.

Dear Mother, wishing every one of you the prosperity in this world to also manage me and father! Perky Birthday Mother!

U are my shining star who has helped me create and have reliably been accessible to control throughout.Happy Birthday Mother!

The love framework between a child and a mother isn't sensible in light of the fact that we as kids as often as possible cry when our mother leaves from us even while we know nothing. Happy birthday mother.

The fundamental issue that happens among mother and youths is when mother ends up over cautious. Regardless, you exhibited your love by allowing us do our thing. I value you so much mother. Cheery Birthday.

Playful Birthday to a mother who may drive forward persistently to address us, regardless of the way that your changes are from time to time unforgiving, yet we for the most part acknowledged they are expected for good. Value this day mother.

Hi mother! Thankful for giving me the best birthday festivities consistently. We should achieve something remarkable for yours. Etc, and I'll make it for dinner. Birthday wishes to my mummy.

My most imperative wish is to grow up and ended up being much equivalent to you. Perky Birthday, Mother, and thank you for everything that is in you and advice that has helped me transformed into the individual I

[masterturner]

long drawn out personal post

this is a bit stream of consciousness, so if you’re reading this and trying to make sense of it, im sorry. its okay if youd rather not. its a lot and its emotional labour to even read it probably. it’s been almost a year since the breakup now. every day closer to the anniversary of it, i feel a little more broken. i’ve had two suicide attempts since then, a prolonged IOP thing, and i no longer see a therapist (though i really should start again). im not crying about borderline personality disorder though. this is all breakup shit. still.  im still holding together somehow. i dont really know how, some days. ive gone through the whole cycle of grieving multiple times now, cycling again and again through denial and bargaining and all that, ‘til i reach acceptance and think the hurricane is at its end. then i find i’m just in the eye of the storm, and it’ll soon pass as i get caught up in the winds again. then i do the whole cycle over and over again. thats what the therapists in the IOP said it was. a grieving process. you can grieve the terminus of a relationship the same way you grieve a dead person. it sounds so silly when i make that comparison. they also said that progress and healing are nonlinear and that it’s not really necessarily going to be as simple as passing through the grieving process a single time.  i said it sounds silly. its not silly though. its real, and i have to remind myself of that from time to time. i dont usually talk about anything personal on here, and its a little weird that im doing it now. but i guess im doing it because i dont know where else to do it. i could do it on facebook, but it feels attention-grabby, needy in a way i always feel weird being. doing it here under a little ‘read more’ thing feels less obtrusive and private, but not so private that im completely trapped in my own skull again. i hate feeling trapped in my own skull.  the anxiety bubbled up and got bad again pretty constantly. it got that way tonight. i felt my heart race while i tried to sleep. usually the worst points stemmed from me looking my ex up and seeing how their life was progressing along without me. unlike me, my ex has a drive and interest in the performance of social media that i generally lack. my social media experience begins and ends in shallow ways: i look at cute butts on tumblr, reblog dumb memes and get vague impressions of things going on in the world and such through the sometimes nonsensical things other people reblog. thats about it. my ex, though, shes the kind of person that does things like update her facebook profile picture at least once in a 6 month period, unlike yours truly.  i dont even follow her or have her friended anymore on facebook. heaven forbid i had an instagram to see what kind of stuff was going on there. it always got the worst when i saw her with her new SO. now i get to look at that every time i get the nerve to message her. its literally painful to even look to the extent i have to archive or delete every stray line of text we send to one another afterward.  i was seriously in denial - i talked myself into believing the SO wasnt an obstacle, wasnt a big deal, he was just a rebound and it didnt invalidate me. it didnt make me lesser, and it didnt mean that i was being replaced. after all, what stranger can replace 5 years of memories and experiences together? but i was a rebound too, and that led to a deep and intense relationship. why couldnt it this time too?  i was naive, i think. hopeful and naive, and i really wanted to believe this and that. ‘i know her’ i’d tell myself. ‘i know her, and i know she wouldn’t think this’ or ‘she wouldn’t do this’. but it’s wishful thinking.  maybe a part of me always did know better. maybe i stopped listening to that part of my own psyche because i started to recognize how harmful it was.  it’s kind of messed up how that works though? like... you can be happy with someone, but also be terrified of that day when they realize they can do better. and then it becomes a sort of twisted, fucked-up self-fulfilling prophecy because that thought sucks the life and passion out of you. it’s insidious and slow.  and it’s tempting to look at it like ‘i was right all along, everyone will leave me’, but that’s not really how it necessarily is. thats just the trauma talking, the fear, the part of my mind that’s lazy and resigned to suffering and collapse. it was that fear that made it real. maybe if i’d learned to manage that fear, though, things could have been different. would have been different.  it’s pointless to speculate on that though. the reason i say it isnt to speculate though, it’s because im trying to remind myself that it can apply to right now. the friendships and relationships i have now - few and far between as they may be, stretched thin as they may be, damaged and in dire need of repair as they may be - aren’t doomed to failure just because i’m afraid of loss and abandonment. the collapse doesnt have to be inevitable.  maybe talking like i’ve learned and figured something out from all this will make me feel better. maybe believing it all had a purpose will make it feel like it was worth it. eventually. right now, though, it doesnt.  i’m still so upset. i’m still miserable and i still long for things i can’t have. i miss affection. i miss being touched, even in a plain and nonsexual way. i miss being kissed and i miss being hugged. i miss being wanted, and every day i wonder if ill ever feel that again. and then i get to thinking, would it be enough to feel that from just anyone again? why do i feel so starved for... any kind of affection at all? why do i feel so desperate for something - anything like this? could anyone ever love me the way my ex did? i guess the cynical and plain answer to that is no, but thats okay. and maybe someone else can love me better. and maybe that desperate longing to be loved, cherished, cared about, touched, anything is just a symptom of an addiction that’s yet to pass. kind of a cold and clinical way to put it though, and i dont know if thats really me. yet i dont want someone else because its not enough to just have anyone. my ex left me, and now i still have that feeling of being invalidated, devalued, abandoned, and ultimately replaced. even if someone else came along and professed undying love for me, no matter how i welcomed it, that feeling of being tossed aside would remain. and i dont know how to come back from it.  i hate how much my mind... fixates on it. like... everything makes me think of it. i cant make a status on facebook without wondering if my ex will see it, what she might think. i cant leave my house and go somewhere without wondering, what if my ex sees me? what would she think of what im doing? would she approve, or be proud of me? would it impress her? or would it disappoint her? it saps the joy out of almost everything i do. i cant watch an old show without feeling bad im watching it without her. i cant help but wonder if she feels the same, or if shes gotten over it. and a part of me doesnt want to know the answer to that wonder. does she still listen to mili? coheed? does she listen to ‘old flames’ on repeat like i do? when ‘sweater weather’ comes on, does she think of me or someone else?  even now as i write this, i wonder if my ex still stops to peer at my dumb blog from time to time for a hint of how im doing and what im thinking. and i dont even know if id want to know, because seeing this message in that light casts a pall over it that makes me feel sick. i didnt want my ex to see how not okay i am. i didnt want her to see the part of me that feels so sick still. and i dont want to know that she doesn’t look at this either. so here i am at an impasse, writing words and tossing them into the void of the internet, hoping for and expecting only silence, while also hating and fearing the very same. id like to think that maybe this is a sign i dont care anymore, but i think i know better than to really believe that.  i force myself every day to just... not reach out. not say anything to her thats real or vulnerable - the few times ive talked to her it feels forced and fake. and it feels like ive cut off a limb, because im so used to leaning and relying on her. but i feel like i have to, because expecting that level of emotional labour from someone that has cut those ties with me seems silly and foolish... not to mention selfish.  why? maybe a part of me thinks that by hiding it, i’d win her back someday. or maybe im just afraid of being burdensome and difficult. or maybe i just... genuinely do want her to be happy without me. i wish it was that last one. i wish i could just back off and be happy that shes with someone else that maybe will treat her good in a way that i couldnt, or didnt.  i dont know what i want, though. i know what i dont want though. i know i hate feeling like this and i wish i could make it stop, but i cant. its not really getting easier. i had the borderline shit before this, and i could end up meeting the criteria my whole life for all i know. the breakup is just a massive complication in that whole mess, but i dont know if id even know what was wrong with me if i didnt have that relationship in the first place.  there was a day a few days ago, or maybe a week or two ago (i dont remember) where i wanted to hurt myself (not physically though for whatever reason), and in order to do it, i made myself do something i was starting to break the habit of doing. i browsed her facebook profile and scoured it for anything that’d make it sting again. i succeeded - it didnt take much. a few pictures, a relationship status change, that was pretty much it. my mind filled in the blanks after that because of course it did. it snowballed into full blown catastrophizing. they’re probably madly in love. they’re probably moving in together, if they havent’ already done so. they’re probably making plans to get married. they’re probably this and that and this and that - like it matters. like it affects me somehow.  but it doesnt. not really, not physically anyway. i dont have to look, and its like i hope not looking will make it hurt less. but not looking makes me hope, and hope has bred more hurt than anything else in the past year.  since i last looked her up in that fog of need to hurt myself emotionally, a lot of that dreadful hope i had that i could win her back drained away, and i want to believe that the pain will go away now. i havent talked to her since then. i still think about her. i still dream. i still fear and i still wonder and reflect. but i havent talked to her. is that good? is it bad? is it anything other than what it is? does it matter? maybe someday ill be over this. a part of me yearns for that. and a part of me is afraid to ever let go, because what if love wins in the end and all the time we had together meant something after all?  did it not mean anything if it didnt end up taking the shape i wanted it to take? no, it still meant something, but does that matter now?  i dont know. all i know is that to this day it hurts and... that’s all. thats all i know.  eleven months later and it still hurts. but i guess expecting it to be all better after 5 years of dating is a little unrealistic. i thought we were gonna be together forever. forever is a long time, though, i guess.  she makes it look easy, but maybe it isnt for her either, even if she’s better at making it look a certain way. i have no way of knowing and thats maddening in its own way. if i had the ability to close that distance... hear her out, be there for her, could i do it? could i get over my own fear and hurt to build a connection again? id love to find out. but i cant seem to get that far.  it doesnt matter though. its her life, and she has every right to move on without me. its easy to say ‘poor me’, but theres two sides to every story. a lot of pain that led up to the end. questions i still have that will never go answered, and closure i might not ever obtain.  ctrl+a, delete, backspace. that’s all it’ll take, tyler. then maybe you can sleep.  but no, instead you’re going to post this. for what? why? is it a cry for help? complaining for the sake of complaining?  i dont know. i cant leave it all in my own head though.  but the silence that i get back in response is liable to be deafening all the same