#just remember to try your best to stay calm and be rational when making choices and talking with one another ok? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jackrrabbit · 3 years

Text

Adversary /// Overhaul x f!Reader (18+)

Summary: You make a deal with the devil to save your life, but it turns out Overhaul’s not interested in your soul.

A/N: Remember when I said I was going to do a fantasy collab and then dipped for like 9 months? Hahaha…anyway…

@pleasantanathema @ present-mel @shadowworks—if it’s not too late, here’s my part for the Pleasant & Strider Fantasy AU Writing Collab from a million years ago. Go check out the masterlist and gorge yourself on these amazing pieces!!

Tags/Warnings: dubcon, demon fuckery & occult things, big heresy/sacrilege/perversion of religion, sex in a church ft. Catholic sex guilt, other than that it’s not that bad lol, inexperienced reader, mild degradation, shameless camp and demon-fucking clichés, Overhaul calls you “little girl” 👉👈

He doesn’t look like a demon.

Not that you really know what demons are supposed to look like. But…red skin, right? Fangs and claws and swirling masses of bad energy. Maybe cloven hooves for feet. Yes, that’s the Disney version—but even if you didn’t expect a cartoon personification of evil, you didn’t expect this.

He looks like a doctor, you think. Lab coat hanging open, surgery mask pushed down under his jaw, stethoscope draped over his shoulders. No, he’s a little young to really look like a doctor…an intern, you amend, shifting back in your hospital bed. He looks like he fits right in here, not a hair out of place. Except for, you know, the polished black horns curling out of the sides of his skull.

Overhaul. It was written in the book. That’s the only thing you have to call him in your head.

He’s standing in the center of the sigil you drew at the foot of your bed before midnight, surveying the room critically without meeting your gaze. He looks annoyed—that’s not a good sign, is it?—but then again, of course he’s annoyed. You’d be annoyed too if you got summoned out of your cozy hell dimension in the middle of the night. According to the book, you’re lucky he even showed up…although ‘lucky’ isn’t really how you’d describe yourself most days.

“So,” Overhaul says after a long moment of silence in which you question every choice you’ve made in your relatively short life. “You’re dying.”

You nod.

“And you don’t want to be.”

You nod again, wondering if you’re supposed to be contributing more to this conversation. It’s a bit difficult when your mouth is so dry it feels like you’ve been eating dirt, but you suppose being in the presence of an unholy servant of Satan will do that to a person.

“Fine.” He sighs, frowns, and then finally lowers his gaze onto yours—and you shiver.

Those eyes. No human has eyes like that.

“Make me an offer,” Overhaul tells you, and through his open mouth you catch a flash of sharp white teeth.

Okay. Okay. The chirping of the heart monitor speeds up (as if it weren’t obvious enough that you’re terrified) and you fold your knees up to your chest and fidget with your ring and think. He’s giving you a chance to establish parameters. You’re supposed to start with his end of the deal, the thing you want from him. That’s what it said to do in the grimoire, aka the 19th century demonology volume your creepy cousin brought back from her pagan anthropology research trip in rural France. The one you keep hidden under your bed because your mother would burn it if she knew you were reading about summoning demons.

Offer nothing to a hell creature without first telling him your price. You know the words by heart, both the winding calligraphy of the original French from the grimoire and the rushed scrawl of the English translation your cousin left for you in sheets of lined paper layered between the pages of the book for you to read. Really, this is her fault. She was the one who slipped you the book, who told you that it worked, who snuck you the ingredients for the summoning. She was the one who left a bookmark at the chapter on this particular demon, one that specializes in ‘Contrat pour Remédier au Déséquilibre des Quatre Humeurs’, which she said meant a contract to cure any illness. Even his ‘name’ is translated in her hand, practically an afterthought in the margins of the page.

‘Le Malin qui Ravage et Rebâtit’— Overhaul?

You looked up the literal meaning of this phrase on your own. It did not reassure you.

“Girl.” His voice is cold, irate. Your eyes snap back up to his and it feels like that burning gaze is laser-beaming into your skull. “Do not test me. My time is limited…as is yours.”

You swallow. “How long do I have left?”

“Less than a single human year,” he tells you without a trace of sympathy. “Seven months, twelve days, three hours. Or so. You’ll be too exhausted to leave this bed in four months, and the pain will become intolerable in six… By the end, you’ll wish—“

“Stop,” you breathe out. The heart monitor is beeping wildly and you squeeze your knees into your chest, trying to calm down your breathing. “Stop, I—I want to live.”

“Of course you do.” Overhaul’s lip curls. “How very predictable.”

Be specific, you remind yourself, doing your best to ignore the stifling disapproval from the man—the demon—in front of you. Something about him (maybe how clean-cut he looks, maybe the indisputable authority in his demeanor) makes you want to impress him. But you didn’t turn your back on your religion—you didn’t draw pagan symbols on the floor in chalk, fill silver cups with various questionable substances (including your own virgin blood), and turn the crucifix your mother hung over your bed upside-down so you could let a demon make you feel guilty for wanting to survive. “I want to be cured. I’m okay with whatever natural death I have instead when I’m older, I just don’t want to die of this illness. I want you to make me healthy.”

“Simple enough. What else?”

‘Simple’? Your heart surges with something you’ve felt very little of since your initial diagnosis—hope. “T-That’s it. Just the cure.”

Overhaul glares at you. “Humans… Every vice in the world available to you, and you limit yourselves to the basest priority of survival.”

“But you can do it? You can cure me?” you persist.

Overhaul steps forward (quiet, so quiet you wonder if he really moved) and holds a hand out to you past the foot of your bed—you hesitate, and a second later you can see the muscles in his hand flex, stretching the latex of his plastic gloves tight over his knuckles.

Just do it. You give him your hand. Carefully. Like you’re scared the contact will burn you. It doesn’t (although his skin feels warmer than yours), but after a moment his grip tightens, sliding down past your hand to circle the fragile bones of your wrist and squeeze.

“Ow?” You wince.

The demon’s eyes flicker closed for a second, lips moving silently like he’s talking to himself—and then he drops your hand unceremoniously back onto your lap. “You could be cured before the sun rises this morning. I doubt your stay in the hospital will extend past the end of the week.”

He sounds bored, voice as flat and passionless as it was earlier, but your heart is soaring. Cured. You’ve lived with this illness for so many years, you can’t remember the last time someone told you you could be cured. And getting out of the hospital that soon? You can just imagine taking down all the decorations from the walls of your room here and setting them up in your old bedroom at home. You could see friends on the weekend and not take an oxygen bag, you could get a job or—or apply to college, you could have a life—

“That is…assuming you have something to offer me in exchange for the cure.”

Your stomach drops. You’d almost forgotten about the other half of the deal.

“Don’t tell me I came all this way for nothing.” Overhaul steps back, and the orange light of the candles you set sends strange shadows over his arrogant face. The fires look brighter now, and you find yourself tracing the lines of those shining black horns. In an odd way, they look natural—so organically framing his temples that you can’t imagine him without them.

“N-No, of course not. I have some money—I mean, my mom has some, and I can get it for you…” Which is half the truth. If you know anything, it’s that your mother’s spent most of her savings on your treatment and care. You probably have more debt than you have money in the bank right now—you’d try to get rid of that, too, if you hadn’t read in the book how important it is to keep your request as simple and straightforward as possible.

…Although it’s apparently not enough. Overhaul’s eyes narrow, molten gold irises carved into slits. “Even if I had a use for human money, do you really believe your life is worth so little?”

“No—no,” you say quickly. “I just thought—in case you were interested—”

The air crackles with energy, the candle flames spark bright blood-red, and the hair on your arms stands straight up. “I am not.”

“Okay! I get it.” You wave your hands back and forth, pulling your IV line from side to side with the motion. The book was very clear about staying calm and rational while you work out the terms of the deal, but that’s easier said than done when you have a real live (live?) hell creature in front of you. You always knew this was going to be the hard part—all the stories say there’s only one thing that a demon would be interested in, and no matter how inviting the prospect of living past this illness is, you know you’d rather die than sell your immortal soul to the devil. “I’ll give you anything except my soul! And—and don’t hurt anyone I care about, or— just don’t hurt anyone, okay? Other than that, if there’s anything I can give you, I will.”

Overhaul’s lip curls, baring a thin strip of those unnaturally sharp canines. “And is your soul really so valuable?”

This throws you for a loop. Isn’t that the standard deal? A soul for a wish? That’s how it’s supposed to work—at least in this twisted version of reality where you can summon a demon to perform unholy miracles for you. But if you think about it, it doesn’t really make sense, does it? Why would your soul be valuable to him? You can’t form an argument, especially since you’re not willing to barter it away in the first place.

Your mouth is pursed open as you search for a response, but Overhaul doesn’t seem willing to wait. A gloved hand wraps its way around the railing at the side of your bed, and he leans in closer. “Little girl…what makes you think you possess anything I desire?”

Little girl. You’re not a little girl, you’re a grown woman—and yet there’s no untruth in the statement. In front of him you feel insignificant, immature, weak. You have nothing real to offer, and something tells you that you’re not going to get rid of the demon you summoned without a sacrifice you’re not willing to make.

You twist your ring around your finger—the nervous habit you haven’t bothered to break because you’ve always had more important things to worry about—and the glint of silver in the candlelight must catch Overhaul’s eye because before you even notice him moving, your delicate hand is trapped in his larger one to give him a better view of the tiny piece of jewelry. “What is this?”

“It’s—um, a ring. A purity ring.” Has he never seen one before? Well…actually, that makes sense.

Overhaul turns your hand over in his without touching the band of silver. He’s looking at it closely, inspecting the lovingly engraved cross in the design and the inscription on the other side. “Matthew 5:8,” he reads out.

“…Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” you recite cautiously. It feels wrong to speak the words in front of him, but somehow you can’t help yourself.

Overhaul’s hand doesn’t leave yours. “This ring is important to you.”

“It’s a symbol of a—a promise I made to God. To save myself for my future husband.”

“To ‘save yourself’? To save what?”

You can’t believe you’re explaining this to a literal demon. You close your eyes and inhale slowly and taste smoke. “My…virginity. It’s a promise that I won’t have sex until I enter into a biblical marriage.”

At this, Overhaul is quiet. You give him a moment to answer, half expecting him to question why you think God cares about your sexual status (honestly, you’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered this yourself), but he stays quiet until you peek up at him to try and gauge the look on his coldly handsome face.

He’s still staring at the ring. He hasn’t touched it—maybe he can’t, because of the cross?—and through the latex, his skin feels hotter than a human’s is supposed to be.

“Is there…” you start, but you trail off when you realize you have nothing to ask. You give a little tug to try and take your hand away and you’re surprised when your wrist actually slides out of his grip to fall back on the nest of sheets in your lap. You didn’t think he’d let you go so easily.

Overhaul turns his head to the side, eyes drilling into you so you feel like you should lower your gaze. The candlelight flickers in strange shadows over his horns. “This will do,” he says quietly.

“What?”

“In exchange for your cure.” The demon taps his own left ring finger, the place where the purity ring sits on your hand, and your heart soars. He actually wants that? It’s just a simple silver band, not worth much, but you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe it has some special significance because of the religious connotation. Your mother will be angry you’ve lost it, but you’re happy to cope with that if it means living to actually get married!

“Yes!” you blurt out before he has a chance to rethink his offer. Sure, you’ll miss the purity ring—you’ve had it since you were a kid, after all—but there’s no question you’re getting the better end of this deal. At least in your opinion.

Something flashes through his yellow eyes, something you don’t even want to try and identify. “The contract, then.”

You barely have time to notice that his voice has gentled, that it’s practically silken in comparison to before, when the candlelight flickers again and suddenly the contract is everywhere. Everywhere. Writing appears on every surface in the room, covering the walls, stretching over the ceiling, coiling around the sides of the hospital equipment and decorating your bedsheets until you and Overhaul are the only untouched surfaces in sight. The characters are inscribed in red, dark red like—don’t think about that, you tell yourself squeamishly. You can make out some of the letters, even a word here or there—French, you recognize, mixed with what looks like Latin and interspersed with what you can only guess are runes.

“I can’t read this,” you tell him, fidgeting with your ring for what you now realize will be the last time.

“I only need your name,” he purrs, and then you feel a fragile weight in your hand: a feather, pearl-black and glossy and too large to belong to any bird you can think of, its angled tip glistening with wet ink. There’s an empty space in the writing before you, and Overhaul’s gloved hand comes to yours again to guide you into place.

This feels wrong…then again, of course it does. Even if you’re getting off relatively easy and just losing your ring rather than your soul, you’re still making a deal with a demon. You sign your name, forcing yourself to think about the future you have ahead of you rather than a disapproving white-bearded caricature of The Man Upstairs wagging his finger at you for haggling with a literal servant of Satan. People have done worse things to survive, haven’t they? It’s just a ring.

You set the feather down and Overhaul sighs, thick black eyelashes obscuring his intense gaze for a moment—and then the contract is gone, leaving your hospital room as blank and sterile as it’s supposed to be (well, aside from the candles and all the other ritual stuff you threw together to summon a demon in the first place).

“Are you going to cure—heal me now?” you ask.

“…Patience, little girl.” He’s pulling his glove off, peeling it down his fingers to bare the pale skin of his hand. You catch your breath and wonder what this is going to feel like, and then the tips of his fingers meet your cheek and—

you stop breathing.

It doesn’t hurt.

Or if it does, you don’t remember the pain a second later when breath floods back into your lungs. What you do feel is energy. Strength in your muscles, blood pumping through your veins, every inhale and exhale as light as a bird and freer. You feel healthy. You’re surprised you even remember what health feels like but you do: it’s like you’ve only been half alive, and now life is surging into you and through you and around you, bubbling up in your core like a spring overflowing. You blink rapidly, thinking you might cry from the sheer pleasure of it, but when you open your mouth it’s laughter that comes out. You’re healthy. You’re alive. You barely notice the IV line literally falling off of your skin because the hole where it entered your vein is sealed shut and healed perfectly.

No more needles. No more hospitals. Even without all the monitors beeping out your heart rate and measuring your vitals, there’s not a shred of doubt in your mind that you’re cured.

“Thank you!” you laugh, looking up at Overhaul and for the first time, not caring that he’s evil incarnate. “I feel—I’m okay! It worked!”

“Of course it did.” His expression is inscrutable, but he lets you have a few moments to enjoy your newfound health.

You roll your shoulders back, flex each muscle you can isolate one by one to test, make fists with your fingers and then run them over your hair, which is already thicker and shinier than it was a moment ago. Your body thrums with energy—you want to run, to feel the ground against your bare feet and the cold night air on your face, and you think you could do it! Your legs are already swinging over the side of your cot, ready to run barefoot out of the hospital if that’s what it takes, but before you can stand up Overhaul’s pushing you back down onto the bed.

“Have you forgotten your end of the bargain already?”

Honestly you did forget, but only for a second, only because you were so excited to just be outside again. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” Your hand goes to your left ring finger, ready to slip the ring off and hand it over, but Overhaul shakes his head.

“Not here.”

“What—?”

You’re falling. Your hospital room is disappearing, the image of your walls and your window and your bed disintegrating into yawning black, and you’re falling through it into nothing, into emptiness, and Overhaul’s still-bare hand in yours is the only anchor you have so you clutch onto it and squeeze your eyes shut. You want to scream—that’s the sane thing to do when you’re falling through miles and miles of empty space, right?—but when you open your throat the sound is swallowed up just like the light was…

Overhaul’s hand burns into yours, an improbable lifeline that you pull closer more out of terror than conscious thought. The slick, empty air rushes around you and you think I am going to die like this and then, incredibly, as soon as you’ve accepted your imminent demise, you feel your back mold onto a chilled, flat surface, vertebra by vertebra up to the back of your head, as if you’ve been lain down onto it.

Your heart thuds in your ears and you brace for an impact because your body hasn’t quite accepted yet that it’s not falling anymore—but at the same time, you know you’re lying down on something. You pry your fingers away from their vice-grip on Overhaul’s arm and feel around blindly for what’s underneath you, and when it seems reasonably tangible you let yourself open your eyes.

Way above, vaulted dozens of feet over your head, is a ceiling studded with gilt-edged frescoes and stained glass. It’s raining (even though it wasn’t in the hospital, you think) but through the massive panes of colored glass there’s enough oily blue light to make out that you’re in a church.

You’re in a church, with a demon. Isn’t that against the rules?

You sit up stiffly and look over at Overhaul, who’s standing at your side and looking down at you…which is how you realize the soft, cold surface you’ve been deposited onto is the blanket on top of the altar in the sanctuary. “Where...did you take me?”

“You should know this place.”

And you do, when you look around. It’s empty now and you’ve never been here at night, but this is a church your mother would bring you to when you were little, back before the disease got so bad you couldn’t risk traveling to it anymore. This is where you took your purity vow…the ring feels heavy on your hand. “Why—why—“

“I can’t stand human hospitals. Filthy places… How that reek of illness and death doesn’t bother your kind, I’ll never understand.” Overhaul pulls his latex glove back on. He’s dressed differently now, no longer impersonating a doctor—black shirt, black pants, and a…bird mask in red leather and gold. So are you, as a matter of fact. Instead of your hospital gown, you’re in a gauzy white dress that’s already been pushed up to pool around the tops of your thighs.

The slip is too thin for the cold, and you can feel your nipples standing up under the cloth so you fold your arms over your chest and hug yourself. “Why did you take me here?” The sound of your voice echoes off the walls eerily and you wish you hadn’t spoken so loudly. The reflection of your words sounds girlish, nervous.

“I told you. Your side of our contract.” Even in this dark, the angular features of his face are clearly concentrating—on you. “Are you already having second thoughts? Such a fickle little thing…”

“You mean the ring?” You reach for it again, ready to tear it off and throw it at him if that’s what it takes to see your deal through, but Overhaul snatches your hand away, pinning it above you.

“Not the ring,” he says. “The promise.”

The…promise?

A chill makes its way down your spine despite the heat radiating off the demon’s body and onto yours. “I don’t understand.”

“The promise,” Overhaul repeats—and you hear a sound almost like wings flapping and then he’s on the altar with you, knees straddling your hips as a single hand holds both your wrists above your head. “To remain a virgin until marriage. Your promise to God.”

A streak of lightning cracks down on the other side of the stained glass window behind the altar, illuminating the room briefly in spectacular pits of red and orange and yellow…and then it’s dark again, and the only color you can make out is the gold in Overhaul’s eyes.

“I’m going to break it,” he murmurs, lowering his head toward your ear right as the answering thunder rolls through the sanctuary, up through the altar, up into you.

///

Méfiez-vous de son piège, the grimoire said. Beware of the catch.

Of course it wasn’t just a ring.

Overhaul’s fingers are in—inside you, his middle and ring finger pumping through the length of your cunt like they belong there, like you were made to be touched this way. A mixture of your juices and your own spit cling to the latex because he made you suck his fingers before he put them in you and he hasn’t bothered to take his gloves off—not that you asked. You’ve been too busy biting your lip to try and muffle the moans that he keeps forcing out of you. He’s bracing himself on top of you with one hand and fingering you with the other, so your own hands are free to push into your eyes and hide your face…until he yanks your arm back and stops.

“Look at me.”

Your eyes are screwed shut and you shake your head back and forth, the movement shuddering your whole body right down to your pussy wrapped around Overhaul’s fingers. He slows the movement and kneels back, pushing one of your thighs up into your chest as he does it.

“Look at me.”

And you’re not sure whether it’s some unearthly power he has over you or the plain old deterioration of your willpower, but you can’t refuse him. You crack your eyes open and he’s glaring down at you, skin pale as ice in the blue light. Once he’s satisfied that you’re watching, the demon leans back in to fuck your cunt with his fingers, slowly at first and then quicker when he hits something inside of you—a spot, a place on the inner wall of your pussy that makes you feel like you’ve been shocked— heat blooms through you like blood in water and you gasp and he curls his fingers up to pet over that spot again.

“Wait—wait, that’s—it feels—weird!” You’ve never felt like this before. You’re not supposed to feel like this, it’s wrong.

“I understand you’ve never touched yourself, but don’t pretend you don’t like it.” Overhaul says, voice as indifferent and calm as ever even though your cunt is dripping clear sticky liquid over the plastic of his glove.

He pushes back in and grinds his palm over the little button on the top of your pussy—your clit?—and you want to scream. “No, I—I don’t—nnhh...”

Do you like it? The demon’s body is so hot next to yours, like he’s running a fever except you’re the one going out of your mind… You’ve heard metaphors for sexual pleasure before (that it’s like having something to drink when you’re dying of thirst; or that it’s the ultimate act of intimacy, love in physical form) but all of that’s a fucking lie. There’s nothing to compare it to, no reference that makes sense, because it doesn’t make sense—you don’t even want him to keep going, do you? You’re only doing this because you signed your name on a devil’s contract, because you don’t want to die and there’s no alternative…but that doesn’t explain why you feel so warm from the inside out, why you’re squirming and your hips are rocking involuntarily no matter how much you try to keep still. This isn’t right. You feel like you’ve been lied to.

A good girl wouldn’t like this.

Overhaul isn’t going to let you close your eyes, so you don’t—but the sounds coming out of your mouth are so…indecent (and how can you think these things about yourself? the word feels like someone else is saying it when you hear it in your head) that your hand is drifting up to your mouth before you can stop yourself, trying to stifle all of it…

“Let your voice out. I want you to hear yourself moan.”

Long fingers slide their way out of your pussy and then move up to rub quick little circles around your clit and you moan, like a whore, like a girl getting her cunt rubbed by a demon— “Oh, uhhhn—something, it’s—coming—“ There’s something building up in your core—a peak, a climax, something that makes you fist your hands in the nightgown he put you in (so tight you’re surprised the thin fabric hasn’t torn) and tilt your hips up into him, begging without words because you don’t have any to express what your body is asking for…

But he doesn’t give it to you. Overhaul takes his hand away from your pussy and the shock of the cool air after his too-hot touch is almost enough to send you over that edge—almost. Not quite. And without it, you’re left shivering and quaking, thighs twitching as your baser instincts beg you to just put your hand between your legs for once and hump your fingers to completion if the demon won’t do it.

You’re not going to risk that, though. Not when Overhaul’s dragging your body closer, bunching up the blanket on the altar under your spine, so your pelvis is angled to his… He’s already shirtless and you hear him unzipping his pants but you can’t bring yourself to actually look at him, even when you feel something hard and hot nudging up against your inner thigh and then aligning to your sticky wet slit.

“This will hurt a bit, but I want you to look,” he says, and you don’t even understand at first until you make yourself feel it—his cock, pushing up against your tight cunt to finish this, this perversion of what your first time was supposed to be…

And what was it supposed to be? Roses and candles and soft kisses? A nameless, faceless husband unzipping your wedding dress and making love to you with the lights off? The way the demon touches you should be cruel in comparison but it isn’t, it’s lighting fires under your skin and turning your brains to mush, so how is your body supposed to tell the difference?

It’ll hurt, you know that, you’ve heard enough about sex to know that it always hurts the first time for girls…women. It was already a stretch to fit his fingers in your virgin pussy, so of course his cock is going to hurt. You turn your head toward the window at your side and try on look out at the rain drawing rivulets like veins over the glass, something to focus on instead of him.

“I said look,” the demon hisses, and his hips push forward a bit and you bite off a whimper of pain. “Watch me take your virginity…look at your tight little cunt swallowing me up just like it was made to.”

“N-No—“ you whine, even though it’s not like you can ignore it. “Don’t make me, don’t make me look, I can’t—“

“Then look at me.”

It’s what he wants, some kind of wicked satisfaction he gets off on, but you’re lucky enough to even get an option so you choose that one, shifting your gaze up into his face instead of the place where his cock is pressing deeper and deeper inside you. Overhaul’s eyes are half-lidded and it’s hard to tell from behind the mask but the look on his face is…pleasure? No, that would be too human. Restraint, at least. He could just thrust up into your body in one stroke, but he wants you to feel it for some reason.

Maybe because it’s a worse betrayal of your chastity if you want to get fucked.

Lucky for you, though, you can barely feel anything aside from the pain. The heat you felt building earlier is draining out of you even as Overhaul tilts deeper, layering his chest over yours. You’re almost grateful for the modest barrier the dress provides between your torso and the solid muscle of his abdomen. His cock in your pussy feels like it’s too big too deep too much and it’s the first time you’ve felt like your body wasn’t created specifically for this purpose so you hold it tight.

“Does it hurt?”

A second of clarity makes you want to snarl (of course it fucking hurts, I’m losing my virginity to a demon I summoned from hell) and you dig your fingernails into your palms to stop yourself from saying it out loud. Overhaul pulls out a fraction of an inch and then pushes back in and you feel like the breath’s being pushed out of your lungs. “Yes! Yes, it—it hurts—“

“I can make you enjoy it…for a price,” he sighs, settling into a slow rocking motion of his hips pushing into yours.

And you want to, every sore muscle in your cunt is telling you to give in and give up, give him what he wants so you can enjoy it like he says—but you’d rather hate every second of this than make another deal. You shake your head quickly and because you’re still too afraid to look away from him, you don’t miss the look of surprise that flits across his face before he tamps it down. “I don’t—I don’t want to—like it,” you gasp out between thrusts. “It’s better if—if it h-hurts…”

This time it’s obvious—his eyes really do widen, and you feel some petty triumph at having caught him off guard like this. Who’s predictable now? you think—and then he’s lifting one hand off the altar at the side of your head and tugging his glove off with his teeth, and you don’t even have time to be afraid of what he’s going to do to you because it’s too late, his bare fingers are already stroking over your mound and onto your core, massaging into the flesh of your stomach so he can feel his own cock sliding in and out of you—

and it doesn’t hurt anymore?

You only have a second to try and understand—he cured you, he healed the pain from your first time just like he healed your illness?—before he hooks his grip under your thigh and folds your legs into your chest so he can fuck into you harder than before. His cock slaps into your pussy and you can hear it, hear how wet your filthy little cunt is, smeared through with your juices. It’s sick—the sound of skin against skin, and the moaning you can’t hold back, you sound like a woman in a porno and you wish the pain would come back just so you could keep hating what he’s doing to you. “What—what did you do—“

The demon ignores you. “It feels good, doesn’t it.”

“Nn—“ It’s deeper like this…deeper and rougher and you can feel it. Now that the pain’s been reduced to the dull ache of a stretched muscle, you can feel everything—his cock sliding against that same spot in your cunt that makes you want to squeal, the friction of his body moving against your clit, all of it, everything you wanted to block out— he pumps into you and you hear your breath sobbing out a moan a second out of rhythm, the sounds of you bouncing on demon cock echoing over the walls. “Please—ah, ahhh…”

“‘Please?’ Are you begging—me, little girl?” Overhaul pushes your thigh up and drags his cock through you, excruciatingly slow, forcing you to feel the thick head slide over every gummy wall in your slick pussy.

You shake your head, mewl, try to force your hips to stop rocking back into his and grinding your clit against him. But you can’t. You’re a—you were a virgin, for fuck’s sake! Overhaul’s immortal. Probably thousands of years of experience on how to make you feel like you want this, like you’re only alive in the places he touches you… You’re at his mercy, if he has any. You never stood a chance.

“Then are you begging your god?” His body lowers directly onto yours and like you’re being controlled by puppet strings your arms fold around him and rake your fingernails uselessly into the smooth skin of his back. You can feel the vibration of his mirthless laughter through his chest. “It must hurt terribly…to know he isn’t listening.”

“Don’t—stop, please,” you sob. “Don’t say—don’t stop—please!”

“Listen to yourself, girl—“ Overhaul’s breath is faster now, but you don’t have time to question it because you feel your peak coming again, the tension rising up through your cunt and your abdomen, harsher and crueler than when his fingers were in you but you want it just as much. More. “Has he ever answered your prayers? Has he...ahh, fuck—who’s the one giving you what you need?”

“No— please, please just let me let me, please—“ You’re talking nonsense now, begging for the release—at least then it’ll be over, and you need it, you need it so badly you feel your muscles locking up, cramping, your ankles crossing each other behind Overhaul’s back.

“Good girl,” the demon breathes, and then he lifts off you so he’s kneeling upright with the two of you still connected, his thick, heavy cock still speared in your pussy, and his fingers come down again to rub at your clit. Everything’s so wet you can hear the motion of his fingers slicking themselves through your juices, sliding up and down the little button over and over and it feels so good that a tiny part of you almost wants to drag it out, to savor it, but the rest of your body is going to die, is going to go crazy if the demon doesn’t let you cum right now, right now, right now!

And he does. Praise the Lord. The pads of Overhaul’s fingers pass over your clit one last time and your head rolls back, your throat moves but you can’t even make a sound, your legs shake and you cum.

You didn’t know it was like this.

Your cunt squeezes down on his cock, throbbing and pulsing and your toes literally curl (you didn’t think that was a real thing!) and your vision goes black for a moment and—oh fuck oh fuck i want this i want more how is it possible that i’ve never felt like this—you understand, more intimately than ever, why sex is wrong:

because nothing that makes you feel this good could possibly come without a cost, could it?

///

It must take longer than you thought for you to come back to your senses, because when you regain awareness of your body you’re in your hospital bed. You’re clean, too, and you wonder for a second if Overhaul bothered to clean you up? Or no…he probably just snapped his fingers and transported you back to your room. You’re not really sure how it works.

What you are sure of, however, is that you just got fucked by a demon. You’re sore in places that you didn’t know it was possible to be sore, and there are already bruises forming on the flesh of your thighs from how tight he was holding you. You don’t really have time to inspect these, though, because apparently your…ordeal (if you can call it that) isn’t over.

Overhaul’s still here.

He’s facing the hints of sunrise through the east window, dressed again in the immaculate lab coat and surgeon’s mask. “You’re awake,” he says without looking at you.

You nod hesitantly. You’re not really sure what the protocol is in this situation, but at least you’ve finally held up your side of the contract, right? And so has he. Despite having been up all night doing sinful things, you’re still itching to get out of this bed and test the limits of your healthy body. “You’re…going to leave, right?”

“Yes—”

At that, you sigh in relief and settle back into your starched bedsheets.

“But there’s one more thing you owe me.”

“Goddamnit,” you swear for the very first time in your life. After what you just did, taking the Lord’s name in vain seems like a relatively minor sin.

Overhaul’s mildly irritated expression doesn’t change, but he holds his hand out to you, palm up, the way you imagine someone would if they were helping you out of a car or requesting a dance at an old-fashioned ball. And really, you want all of this to be over—you want to get out of this hospital, you want to taste what the air outside is like, you want to distract yourself from what you just gave up in exchange for a future. At this point you’re just going to have to hope God isn’t as picky about the whole premarital sex thing as you grew up believing.

So you put your hand in Overhaul’s.

Slowly, carefully, like he’s afraid it’ll burn him, he slides your purity ring down your finger and balances it in the palm of his bare hand. It sizzles when he touches it, glowing orange until it eventually burns down into a ash-black circle in the center of his palm. Once he’s satisfied that your pretty little ring has been reduced to nothing more than a scorch mark, he closes his hand around yours and you feel something sharp, painfully hot, etching onto your finger.

It’s over in a second, but you still yelp and yank your hand away from him as soon as he lets you. “Ah—ow, what was that?”

He burned you, he literally burned you! He’s already healed it, but there’s still a thin, pale scar, an intentional one left wrapping around the skin at the base of your left ring finger. Like a wedding ring.

When you look close, you can make out a symbol on the back of your finger where the cross used to sit—and even though your conscious mind doesn’t recognize it, the sight of it rings out something inside your ribcage, deeper and truer than flesh and blood. It’s the devil’s mark, you think. It’s his.

“…A promise,” Overhaul says softly, and even though it’s a chilly morning, you can feel the heat of his hands on yours a long time after he vanishes back into the dark.

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #tw dubcon #tw sacrilege #tw christianity #overhaul #chisaki kai #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero imagines #my hero academia x reader #my hero imagines #boku no hero fanfic #smut

2K notes · View notes

bored-storyteller · 3 years

Note

Hello! I remember you said you could write for Sally Face even though it's not on your list (if I dreamed of it, excuse me 🙏), since you still look like you're in the fandom... How about the #4 of the prompt list with Sally Face? If you do not write for him I apologize 😭

Hello dear Anon! Yes, Sally Face maybe is the video game I'm most fond of, I can write for him, I just don't always feel like making the requests that come to me about this game. But don't worry! Asking is always fine! Thanks for the request!

P.s. This is more fluff than angst I think, I apologize, is that there is already a lot of angst for him

73- Sally Face, Sal Fisher x Reader

From the prompt list

4- “Do you know what it’s like?”

Gizmo's purr lazily fills the silence in the room, the big cat is taking his ration of free pampering perched in your boyfriend's lap.

His fingers glide absently on the white and tawny fur of the half-asleep feline, while behind his mask you catch nothing but an absent gaze directed at the void between his knees.

By now that beautiful sky-colored eye of his communicates with you without the need for words, and you see how much it seems dull and lost, so much so that it appears almost glass like the one on the right.

Sal is always so sweet and so strong. He has so much weight on his shoulders, yet you always see him accepting everyone else's too. He never complains, he doesn't fidget, and he doesn't scream, not even when he gets angry, and if he does he apologizes as if he's at fault.

You love him, you really love him. You feel it in your guts, especially now, that he is like this.

You don't really know what's troubling him, yet you see how sad he is. His shoulders are bent slightly forward, and his blue hair slips free, covering even more of his usual mask.

Even though you know you are free with him, you are terribly afraid of hurting him. You're afraid of saying something too much, something he doesn't deserve.

As you leave the book you were reading by your side, you try to remember when Sal began to wither.

You noticed it after the last outing you did with the others, but you have no idea if those thoughts that seem to be spinning in his head were already floating around before, and you curse yourself for being so inattentive towards him.

"Give me space Gizmo" you mutter with a playful pout, picking up the lazy cat to move it a little further "I want the cuddles too."

Sal just cooes as his hands remain motionless, letting you nestle your head in his lap.

Once you are comfortable in your new nest, his fingers gently touch your forehead, while you are busy trying to come to terms with the big cat who insists on trying to stay on his master's lap too, at the cost to sit on your face.

“Come on Gizmo. Let me be a little jealous every now and then. " You snort, pushing the royal furry butt away from your nose.

"Are you jealous?" Sal's question is surmounted by the meow of the fake tiger who decides to snuggle in the hollow between your shoulder and your neck.

Your eyes roll up into his gaze and for a moment you don't know how to read that question. You feel him terribly serious, and in a way, you don't know where he is going.

"Yes ... I'm jealous of you ... that is ... is it normal I think?" You know that sincerity is always the best choice with him, but you still bite your tongue, wondering if you are giving the wrong idea.

His caresses have stopped while he silently looks at you, and you don't know what he's thinking, you don't know if you've unknowingly touched a nerve or if you just added a new thought to him.

"Why?" His question comes out as a surrendered sigh "You have no reason ... I say ... it is you who can make others love you, not me."

His words take your breath away for a moment.

"What are you saying…?" You murmur, as you raise a hand to touch his turquoise locks "you know how to make yourself loved even by those who don't even know how to love ..." you whisper softly, yet you don't seem to convince him.

His sigh becomes more impressive in the rumble of his mask, and you look at him patiently, while his hands undo the hooks that block it to his face.

Few people know what lies behind that prosthesis, and it hardly ever happens that he leaves himself so spontaneously in the sight of others. It's because it's you, you know, and it flatters you, yet something so immediate still surprises you.

You believe that his face is something magical, because no matter how grotesque it is, how almost you could say that there is no face, but you love it, you loved it from the first moment you saw it. Maybe because you were already in love with him.

"You were beautiful that night." His words still confuse you, and you force yourself to accept the idea of having entered a minefield. So you were right, was it your last outing that upset him?

"Sal ..." you get up, and now even Gizmo has realized he has to leave space for you, moving to the next pillow.

He doesn't look at you, his eyes are closed, but he continues to keep himself completely exposed to you.

"I really mean it. You are always beautiful to me, but that night ... that night you felt beautiful too, didn't you? You were, you really were, and ... "his shoulders give way a little further forward, as if he were about to collapse under an invisible weight. "And if you hadn't been with me, someone would have come to you. Maybe he would have offered you a drink and then ... "

Your lips part for a few seconds, looking for something to say, but you really don't know what ground you're walking on.

"I'm not really beautiful Sal, I'm just-"

"A normal person. What else do you want?" His abrupt interruption silences you.

In a moment his eye is on you again, alarmed: “Sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, I didn't mean to be bad. "He whispers softly.

Sal Fisher, always so attentive to others even in his moments of despair.

"Only that ... you ... do you know what it’s like? To be like that…"

His voice just trembles, and you forget to breathe. You would like to remove all doubts and insecurities from him, but you cannot do it.

"No ... no Sal, I don't know ..."

"That's okay ..." he murmurs, trying to console the guilt of your tone "I don't know what it is like to be you either, but ... it can't be so pleasant to kiss bare teeth ... right? It must not be pleasant to feel this dead flesh against your skin, and it must not be pleasant to wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and find this monster a few inches from your face ... I just think ... I just think you should know that you can certainly find someone else ... someone else other than me. "

You have always admired him, also for all the strength he has to live with that weight - one of many - that he carries with him. Perhaps subconsciously he has always found a way to make his flaws simply characteristics, his style. With or without his ponytails, Sal was always recognizable and, in a sense, charismatic.

But you know that even if he is so strong, so resilient, the weight does not disappear.

"Sally Face ..." you murmur softly, as you move your legs to be able to sit astride his lap.

"You know ... I've always looked for many things from life." Your fingers casually play with his tufts of hair "And I swear to you I never thought I'd find what's really essential to me right here."

Your palms rest gently on his rib cage as his slowly brush your hips.

"You might find someone different from me too, Sally Face, but I don't want you to, please." You just smile "Also because ... after a nightmare you are the first thing I look for, and when I find you ..." leaning forward you are greeted by the loving arms of your boyfriend, while you take refuge in his chest, snuggling up to his heart "I do this, and I stay listening to you until I fall asleep again. When you sleep peacefully you never notice, but you always welcome me. "

Curled up there on his chest like now, you have no idea what's in Sal's eyes. All you see are a few blue locks of him falling over your cheeks, while he lets you relax under his chin.

His silence leaves you on alert, and even if you don't move, you look for any clues that might tell you something about his emotions.

A slight tremor in his chest and a restrained sob from him make your heart tremble, but his slowly calming beat just makes you snuggle closer to his body.

"I-" he starts off lightly, but then stops immediately, and when he resumes, you're sure he's changed the subject, but it doesn't matter anymore. "Am I such a heavy sleeper?" He asks, with a shivering chuckle amid the slight gasps of silent tears.

You laugh lightly as you lift yourself up to look at him. In your hands, his cheeks are rough and wet, but even as tears flow from his eyes, he doesn't look agitated or hurt.

"Well, you recover the sleep that all your nightmares take away from you."

Your fingers slide gently under his eyelids to collect his tears. You don't ask him why he cries; you know that in his chest he has a reservoir where he keeps all his emotions and, every now and then, they pretend to come out.

"Wake me up next time you have a nightmare, you're always there when I have mine."

You smile softly as you rest your forehead against him. You wouldn't change him for the world.

"For once, let me take care of you Sal."

His sigh hits your nose as he snuggles a little more against you. Calmly it seems that he can channel his emotions into a single torrent.

"Take care of me?" He murmurs against your lips “How about picking up the phone and ordering a pizza for the two of us? It would make me very, very happy. "

Your cheerful laugh fills the room, while your lips touch what remains of his: "And the ice cream?"

"And the ice cream." He confirms as he accepts your sweet kiss.

There seems to be a long night of pampering with Sal and Gizmo ahead of you, what more could you ask for?

You gently kiss his cheek one last time, before getting up in search of the device to order your dinner.

"Hey ..." before you're too far away, your hand is lovingly held by Sal's "I don't want anyone else next to me."

Your eyes dive into him for a moment, and what you find is nothing but a clear and sincere sky that takes your breath away every time it lands on you.

"Me neither. I wouldn't want anyone else even for a single day of my existence. "

#sally face #sally face x reader #sally face sal #sal fisher #sal fisher x reader #one shot #angst/comfort #fluff

477 notes · View notes

thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

i love your metas! I just discovered them today and have spent all afternoon reading them. I have two part ask, if that's okay. Firstly, do you think a sensible version of bella could survive if she recognised early on that keeping on Edward's good side was her only survival option? and secondly, on the flip side, just how unhinged do you think bella could be before edward rejected her?

Ooh, both interesting questions, anon. Let's do this.

Sane Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Last time, on The Carnivorous Muffin's ridiculous blog, we covered what would happen to a sensible Bella who realizes the Cullens are not fluffy bunnies she should take home.

The long and short, Edward eats her.

Edward's romantic interest in Bella, the thing that has him fighting his own baser nature to keep her alive, is dependent on a few things.

One of those is Bella's interest in turn.

In time, if Bella truly was not interested in him, he would eat her. Alice tells us there's only two paths for Bella: death or vampire. Leaving her and walking away is never a true option for Edward.

So, Sane Bella loses Yandere Simulator because she doesn't realize the key aspect of Yandere Simulator: You Never Say No to Yandere.

However, you point out something interesting here, that this is a sensible Bella.

Sensible people do not immediately think they're playing Yandere Simulator. You don't run across people like Edward often, there aren't many of him, and while there are red flags early in Twilight Edward did a pretty good job of making them not particularly visible.

By the time we hit Eclipse he's pretty much thrown pretending to be nice and sane out the window. Luckily for Bella, that doesn't appear to bother her as much as it should.

Bella thinking "if I don't play along with this inhuman whack job he'll eat me", is paranoid lunacy. It is not the first conclusion a reasonable person would jump to.

That it happens to be the right conclusion is irrelevant.

But alright, I'll play ball.

Paranoid Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Bella is utterly paranoid and wearing her tin foil hat when she enters Forks. She remembers Biology very well and when Edward comes back and pretends to be nice she gives him a strained smile and thinks, "This motherfucker will eat me the moment my back is turned."

Bella considers travelling back to Florida, but that would be leading Edward to her mother, more it would be very easy to find Bella if he truly wished to.

Florida isn't an option.

Bella tries to keep her distance from Edward, hard when he sits next to her in Biology, but he seems willing to ignore her. Bella calms down a little, maybe this will work out.

Bella is nearly crushed by a van, desperately pretends she definitely did not see Edward fold that van like a pretzel. Nope, no siree Bob, Bella is concussed! She then stays awake all night in terror and OH GOD HE'S CLIMBING THROUGH HER WINDOW! HE'S GOING TO EAT HER IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT! HE KNOWS THAT SHE KNOWS!

Bella pretends to sleep, horrified, and Edward stays there all night. Staring.

(Edward, meanwhile, is realizing he's in love.)

Bella enters school a nervous wreck, waiting for that fateful Biology class and... Edward is studiously ignoring her. He doesn't even say hello.

Bella would be relieved, except he keeps sneaking into her bedroom at night, staring. Bella gets no sleep for weeks.

Then the blood testing happens and suddenly Edward is talking to her. He tells her they shouldn't be friends and he doesn't want to be friends, GREAT, EDWARD, THAT'S GREAT. But then it's very clear that he's after something, and Bella's spidey senses are tingling.

Edward doesn't want to be friends.

Oh, oh shit.

Suddenly, Edward sneaking into her room at night takes on a whole, new, sinister twist. First he'll rape her, then he'll eat her (or who knows, maybe vice versa, Bella certainly doesn't want to find out).

Bella is driven home by Edward (he insists) and enters the house to wheeze into a paper bag.

She thinks over her options.

Edward can crush cars, Bella trips over asphalt. Even if she wasn't Bella, there's no way she could outfight him even if she wanted to.

Edward was very concerned when he suspected that she knew, he likely still suspects and Bella's not a very good liar. Bella doesn't want to find out what happens to her if Edward realizes she really does know.

Edward appears to have a romantic interest in her. Does Bella really have the option of saying no?

Bella, still wheezing in her bag, comes to what seems like an inevitable decision. She must humor Edward at all costs. For the sake of her family, of her own life, she must play into his romantic overtures. Bella can't act but now, her life depends on it.

Well, Bella still can't act, but luckily for her Edward doesn't care.

Edward just thinks Bella's very jumpy, a little nervous and shy, and just plain weird (given he thinks Bella's just plain weird in canon this is not too far from normal events).

So Bella gets to live in terror for things like the meadow, where Edward talks about how easy it would be to eat her, how he contemplated murdering Biology in cold blood to eat her in the most efficient manner, how he loathed her for daring to smell delicious, how Alice warned him there was a good chance of him eating Bella in the meadow today, all while pressing his cheek against her hammering heartbeat.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD, YOU'RE SO CHARMING."

Edward invites Bella to the house. These creepy, man eating, people all meet her with smiles. Edward has composed her a lullaby. One of them, Alice, tells Bella they're going to be best friends.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD YOUR FAMILY IS SO NICE."

In other words, somehow, all of Twilight still happens because Bella is terrified of saying no.

At least, until Volterra. Given Bella's being hunted by Victoria, even had Bella not gone cliff diving eventually Alice would see her eaten and then black out as the wolves chased off Victoria instead.

Bella spends New Moon having a great time. Mostly. The Cullens are finally gone, she's free, she spends weeks on edge thinking they might come back.

Just when she starts to relax, fucking Laurent shows up and learns Victoria's trying to kill her. Because of Edward, because of course, it's always about Edward. WHY ARE VAMPIRES ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL HER?!

Regardless, Alice shows up and goes, "Bella, my god, you're alive!" And Bella dies inside. Alice Cullen is back. Oh no.

Bella pretends she's thrilled to see her. Alice, her best friend, her favorite demon. Hurray. Alice fills Bella in on the New Moon scoop, Bella pretends to be very invested. Then Alice gets the vision.

Edward has decided to commit suicide via the Volturi.

Bella has no problem with this, unfortunately, she realizes that Alice clearly has a problem with this. Alice fully expects Bella to run off to Italy to save Fucking Edward.

Once again, Bella isn't sure she's allowed to say no.

Bella runs to Italy, finds herself saving Edward's life, and then she's brought before the Volturi where she might very well be executed because Edward Cullen happened to involve her in this mess.

BELLA NEVER WANTED TO BE HERE.

Bella snaps. She's crying, she just can't take it anymore, and she finally loses her shit at Edward. SHE NEVER LOVED HIM! HE IS SCARY AND WON'T LEAVE HER ALONE! IF THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HER JUST DO IT NOW BECAUSE SHE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

Aro watches Bella's mental breakdown in utter amazement. Naturally, while Marcus suspected something was funky with those two, Aro did not see this coming from Edward's perspective.

Aro offers Bella her out, it is unfortunately death or vampire, but vampire is very much an option and Aro will offer Bella sanctuary in the Volturi.

Bella takes that offer and runs with it.

Edward is devastated and blindsided.

Somehow, neither he nor Alice saw this one coming.

But to answer your question: Paranoid Bella survives Yandere Simulator By Defecting to the Volturi

How Unhinged Does Bella Have to Be For Edward to Dump Her?

He won't.

Remember, Edward in canon thinks there's something legitimately wrong with Bella. She doesn't think like normal people, she always makes the least rational choice, and he can't hear her thoughts.

Edward doesn't think Bella's gifted just that she's... different. (Bella, hilariously, immediately picks up that Edward's calling her a freak. Edward backtracks hard on that one.)

Bella's decisions also become increasingly ridiculous as the series goes on.

She stabs herself in the middle of a battle, she insists on having sex with him while human, she consorts with shapeshifters (to Edward this is lunacy), she picked up motorcycle riding, she threw herself off a cliff, she ran from his sweet protection to the reservation, she believes he doesn't love her, and she doesn't want to get married.

I imagine Edward thinks there isn't anywhere left for Bella to go. She's left the planet, unhinged is her middle name.

But none of that matters.

I already linked the Edward/Bella post I always link near the top so I'll just recap. For Edward, it's all about the blood, the silence, and the projection.

An unhinged Bella is still a delicious and silent Bella. He can still pretend she's Carlisle.

Even if Bella became addicted to cocaine, and ruined that sweet scent, it wouldn't tarnish her memory. He'd nurse her back to health, then eat her so she never relapses.

That's the trouble with Edward/Bella, it's not about Bella, not at all. You could replace her with sweet smelling cardboard and Edward would not notice a difference.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #bella swan #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #alice cullen #anti alice cullen #the volturi #aro #meta #headcanon #opinion

563 notes · View notes

softykooky · 4 years

Text

sanctuary: seven

summary: the absence of you is a void that they never thought they’d have to experience again. they were fine before they met you. but the sky would fall before the boys would be fine after you’ve gone. 8.03k words.

genre: mafia au, ANGST, poly au

pairing: ot7 x reader

warnings (READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION) : toxic and dysfunctional familial relationships, mentions of domestic abuse (physical and verbal), swearing, ptsd & trauma, poor mental health, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks, eating problems, alcohol abuse, abandonment issues...

rating: NC17

author’s note: okay I lied there’s going to be another part! I just couldn’t fit all that I wanted and I figured it was better to give you guys something now instead of making you wait another century for me to wrap up the story. please let me know if I forgot anyone in the taglist! please let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy!

♡ series masterpost ♡

Just leave.

Like a cruel rhythm or a drum that keeps on beating in your chest to remind you of the pain that rips through your heart.

You’re such a fool, Y/N.

Should you blame them for growing tired of you? Even snapping at you like they did, or did you deserve it? It was so easy for you to wither back into the mindset your father had trained you to adapt at the slightest intrusion. Now, after that massacre in the kitchen with the people you trusted with your whole being, you weren’t sure if it was possible to think otherwise.

Through the warm tears that have clouded your eyes, frantically stuffing the little belongings you have into a backpack is otherworldly difficult. Your heart hurts. Your soul hurts. Your entire being hurts and you can only wonder how many times a person can be pushed aside and unwanted until they just completely break. You wonder how close you are to that point.

There’s anger running through your veins, cocktailed with devastation and confusion, but you’re not sure what it is you’re angry at. Were you angry at them? Could you ever be angry at them, even after they did something like this? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore, but that wasn’t important.

There was one objective in sight: pack up and get the hell out before you let anyone else completely destroy you.

But even then, you can’t help but to think about how they hadn’t even bothered to come after you. None of them did. And it ignites a different fire of pain that you’re finding harder to ignore. You’re halfway through shoving your shirts into the backpack when a soft voice sounds from your doorway. Jun is standing there, fiddling with her apron and warm sympathy on her face.

“Y/N, sweetie, they’re just...maybe give them some time. Please don’t go”, Jun sighs.

“No, Jun. They don’t want me here anymore”, your voice cracks at the realization. “I’m not going to stay and be unwanted. I won’t do it again. I-I can’t.”

When the last item is tucked into the pocket of your bag, you swing it onto your shoulder. The weight of the backpack feels as though it’s pulling you deeper into the ground. Like you are sinking and there is nothing you can do but wait until your head is submerged.

“Jun…” you breathe out, wiping away a warm stray tear, “could you...could you tell them that I’m sorry? I-I’m not sure what for, I guess for everything. But could you just tell them?”

Jun nods solemnly, though the reluctance is clear on her expression. Even she can recognize that you have nothing to apologize for. “I will, honey. Are you sure about this?”

“I have no choice, Jun. I love them and I-” you cut yourself off.

This is the first time you’ve been able to say it out loud. You love them. You’ve fallen in love with them and the timing could not be worse. But all in all, you consider yourself lucky. There was no way you would have recovered if you confessed and all seven of them inevitably rejected it. Perhaps this fight just saved you the great pain of knowing they cannot love you back.

“And I need to go.”

You’d have to leave before dinner. Through the back door. The one that no one thinks you know about but as always, no man gives you nearly enough credit as you deserve. You’ll tell the guards you’re going out for a walk and pray they don’t question the overstuffed backpack you’re hauling. You’ll just open it and run and…

Find a new home? A new life? Find a new set of souls that will cherish and care for you and make you feel like you’re actually meant to be in this world?

You love them. That much you know is true. And perhaps people like you weren’t meant to have love in this world.

“You’re excused, Lee. Be grateful you’re still here.” The venom in Namjoon’s voice remains clear as day, even after your ungraceful departure from the kitchen. You had left so abruptly with so few words that they weren’t able to even try and stop you.

They still can’t see straight through the searing anger that pulses through their entire being. Anger at the world, and the traitors, and the idiotic rookie that lost them thousands in shipments.

But the anger at you had faded a long time ago, the moment you bolted out of the kitchen and up the stairs. However, the boys were nothing if not stubborn. Why did you have to get in the way of their business? Why couldn’t you just remain kept away, for them to keep safe and away from the dangers of the outside world?

Jimin is the first one to make a move to the staircase, up to where you were packing, trying to be stealthy until the leader catches a glance of him.

“Jimin. Stop. Just let her cool off”, Namjoon sighs, pinching the space between his eyebrows to relieve his tension headache. He was usually the sensible one. The leader of the pack telling everyone to keep their cool. But the load on his shoulders has been getting far too heavy and you were the light breeze that caused it to collapse.

“You should wait to calm down before you talk to her, anyway. That vein in your forehead might pop out of your skin”, Hoseok snidely remarks.

Jimin scoffs, running a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time that day.

“Everything we’ve been doing has been for her best interest. Why is she making this so difficult?”, he exhales, frustration still licking at every word. But with a mere glance at Jimin, anyone in the room could tell that he truly held no antipathy towards you. That his words were coming from an unresolved pool of anger that had been bubbling away for ages.

“You don’t think she means it, do you?”, Taehyung mutters, eyebrows still creased in intensity. “The leaving part?”

“Where could she go Taehyung? We’re all she has at this point”, Yoongi speaks. A layer of irony coats the room as Yoongi remembers the words he had spat at you in the heat of the moment. A vicious declaration to tell you to leave, and he feels a string of guilt twining itself around his lungs. He numbs it away, of course. As he does everything else.

Jin takes a deep breath. “Listen, we’re all stressed and sleep-deprived. Why don’t we just calm down separately and talk it over at dinner? I’m sure by then, this whole thing will be completely forgotten.” His words sound sure and steady. Jin hopes they don’t notice the worry that bleeds into his voice.

A chorus of agreements and hums quietly sound across the room as the seven of them shuffle out of the kitchen and slowly saunter into their respective rooms. And as they tiptoe past your bedroom, where your door was shut tight, the boys can’t help but feel the rationality that has begun to trickle back in. The logic and reason that had abandoned them during the fight had slowly returned, and the thought of you on the other side of that door made them all want to barge in and hold you again.

Maybe they overreacted. Maybe they were wrong. Pride, however, was a stern mistress, and the potential consequences of their actions hadn’t yet reached their thoughts. They hadn’t realized the poison of their words.

They would wait a bit longer.

Everything would be okay after dinner.

The first thing you realize after leaving is that you chose the wrong pair of shoes to attempt an escape on foot. Of course, you had to be wearing the new ones that the boys just bought you that hadn’t been broken in yet. The heel was digging into your skin painfully, undoubtedly leaving red marks and calluses. Your feet ached with every step, but you had to soldier on. At least until you found somewhere to rest for a bit and figure out where the hell you would go.

A glance down at your phone has you eternally grateful for your past self for remembering to charge it. Hopefully it would last you until you found somewhere for the time being.

There was no more family in the country besides your immediate ones. And you’d rather swallow knives than go back to that. The thought of them makes you sad though when you remember Soyeon.

You wonder how she’s doing. The things she’s been up to. Is she shopping as much as she always does? Is she happy? Does she miss you? The train of thought makes you scoff at your own patheticism. Even after everything, you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate her. You would always love your sister.

The Bangtan manor hadn’t been as far away from the city as you had thought. On the other hand, you weren’t exactly paying attention to the time. Just let your feet carry you where they wanted to and stared blankly at the passing ground, trying to empty your thoughts as best you could. The sky was beginning to darken and the wind blew a bit colder but you refused to let it slow your pace. You couldn’t let yourself feel. Not yet, anyway.

The first motel you see is the one you enter. It’s not grand by any means; more of a fixer-upper. The wallpaper was peeling, the carpet reeked of age and dust, and the receptionist was chewing gum and scrolling absentmindedly on her phone. The place was a dump compared to what the likes of you tended to live in. But you had limited cash, and this would have to do.

It takes you three times clearing your throat for her to notice that a customer was at the front desk.

“Hello. I’d like a room with one bed, please.”

She doesn’t hide her blatant scrutinization of you, visibly looking you up and down with something akin to disapproval. Her phone is tossed on the counter annoyedly and she snaps her gum, wheeling her chair closer to the computer and clacks away on the keyboard.

“ID and payment, please”, she drones, holding out a hand without sparing you another glance. When she looks at the card you have placed in her palm, there is a spark of recognition. The Yoo family name. She must have seen your name in the paper or something. The ambassador’s daughter. In a place like this?

You are eternally grateful when the receptionist says nothing; just hands you back your card and dangles a key from her red-nail polished index finger. You two exchange no more words. The only sounds in the lobby are the clinking of the metal key, the padding of your footsteps on soft carpet, and the smacking of the bubblegum between her lips. But it is enough to begin to allow the loneliness in. The fear of it all. The uncertainty and utter devastation that you have left behind the one place that had just started to feel like home.

When the door of your motel room closes, and it is just you...

You with the clothes on your back, the necessities in your bag, and all the feelings you have kept bottled up for weeks on end. It is more than easy to collapse in a cathartic heap as soon as the lock clicks in place.

Who cares if the walls are paper-thin? You scream it out on the undoubtedly dirty floors. The agony of being so close to happiness only to have it ripped away from your hands. The pain of knowing them, only for them to push you out of their lives.

You don’t weep for anyone else. Not the seven boys you loved, not Soyeon, not your father, not Jun.

You cry for Y/N.

You cry for the realization that maybe the thing you’ve been chasing your entire life is simply not in reach. That peace was something you had to fight for, completely alone. That they don’t love you back, or even nearly as much as you loved them. If they did, you wouldn’t be here, desperately trying to hold yourself together for what seems like the billionth time. If they loved you back, well...you reckon that reality only exists in your surreal dreams.

There were distant cousins. In the states. And if you could get a hold of them, you had faith they would be willing to fly you over. You could spin an excuse at the drop of a hat. Maybe something about wanting to see America for a while and get away from your normal routine in Seoul. Something about needing space or enjoying time with missed relatives. They’d believe it. You’ll leave as soon as you can, hopefully in the morning.

Naturally, this night is sleepless and you swear the sky is darker than usual. It’s starless, and even the moon is nowhere to be seen, hidden behind overcast clouds and you want to cry even more. Because after everything, is it still too much to let you feel the light? Is it still too much to let you rest under a gentle nightscape?

You make a promise to yourself. To Y/N.

You wouldn’t let her chase after pipe dream happiness anymore. You wouldn’t let her be so naive, so hopeful for something better. You’ve had your chance at finding it, and after more bumps and bruises, have come to the conclusion that maybe it merely does not exist for you.

You promise her a lifetime of loneliness and solitude. But those are familiar things. Comfortable things. And you would take that over a broken heart any day.

As soon as they fell onto their respective beds, all seven of them had drifted off to sleep. It seemed that days of constant work, chugging black coffee, and pulling consecutive all-nighters had taken its toll, and the boys finally caught up to the pure, unadulterated exhaustion.

The seven of them slept through the night, plans of dinner completely forgotten as they glued themselves to the comfortable bedding. Unfortunately, with needed rest came a clear mind and the realization that they had been completely and utterly horrible to you ever since it all went down.

Jungkook is the first to wake up. He brushes his teeth and slips on an outfit with a rapid fervor, ready to put everything behind him and just...hold you. Because he realizes it’s been weeks since he actually has, and maybe that’s just the thing he’s been needing. To feel your frame in his arms and hear your soft breathing.

“Taehyung! Get up!” Jungkook pounds on the door of his hyung’s room. He hears shuffling from the other side, and a rustled bedhead emerges from a dark cavern.

“What Jungkook? It’s too early for this”, he grumbles, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Hyung we all slept like the dead through dinner. I’d rather not let this whole thing with Y/N marinate for any longer. Get up and let’s talk it through, I know you miss her like crazy too.” Jungkook does his best to keep his voice down since you were still sleeping in the room beside Taehyung’s. He has to round up all of them first before asking you to come out.

So he does. Sweeps his floor and the one above to awaken the other six men. Jin and Namjoon were the only others who were dressed and ready to tackle the day. The rest of them moved like zombies to rid themselves of the sleepy fatigue.

Somehow, they all manage to congregate in front of your door, nervously staring it down while the tension in the air choked them. It’s unnerving. The radio silence coming from your room. You must be really upset, and reasonably so. Hoseok clears his throat, twisting his hands together out of nerves, and glances at the others.

“Well? Should I knock?”, he whispers. The other six nod solemnly, glaring at the door like it might combust at any moment.

He steps forward gingerly and raps on your bedroom door thrice. The seconds trickle by like molasses, even slower when there is no sound from your end.

He knocks again.

Nothing.

A third time.

Complete and utter silence.

“Y/N?”

Hoseok’s eyebrows deeply furrow, and with trepidation, he twists the doorknob and swings it open. The bedsheets are made, duvet untouched and pillows stacked neatly against the headboard. The curtains are drawn and everything looks fairly clean. Almost as if there was no one in there in the first place. Now that he looks closer, the only sign of you being there was the vase of brown and wilting peonies on the bedside table. The ones they had gotten for you months ago. Even your scarce amount of belongings were nowhere to be found.

In the ache of the silence, nothing can be heard but their utter shock. Their minds jumping to the worst conclusion but still in denial because there’s no way that you would do that. No way they could have lost you when they all loved you so much.

“M-maybe she’s in the basement. Or the library. I’m sure she didn’t….she hasn’t….”, Jimin cuts himself off as he drifts off into all the terrible possibilities. Namjoon yells at the guards downstairs from the second floor, and the sounds of their rushed footsteps to find you in this giant house is the only noise that reaches their ears.

“Jun!” Taehyung hollers down below, where she is undoubtedly fussing away in the kitchen or slaving over a boiling pot. The woman calmly emerges upstairs with a sharp gaze, head held high and shoulders stiff in her posture. There is no emotion on her face, except the faint disappointment as she stands in front of the seven men.

“Where is she?”, Yoongi growls, stepping forward like a huffing beast, but Jun remains unbothered.

“Where is who?” Jun monotones.

“Don’t play dumb, Jun. Where is Y/N?” She scoffs at the concern dripping in Yoongi’s voice. How ironic that the very person who maliciously told you to leave was now in pieces at your absence.

“I was surprised you even noticed. It’s not something you’ve been doing as of late. Noticing”, Jun calmly retorts. She’s never been one to be afraid of them. Never scared to stand up to them, because though they were grown men, they often still needed some mothering.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Jungkook spits, frustratedly gripping at his hair.

“Is it not true, boys? Y/N’s been practically invisible to you these past few weeks. Who knew it would take a mere fight to finally get you guys to pay attention to her.” Jin’s reflex is to immediately respond with an argument. But the words die on his tongue when he realizes the truth in Jun’s statement.

The seven of them stare at her in silence, still high-strung on stress and anger, but intent to listen to her words.

“She left.”

The two words that they had been so desperate not to hear sound like a death knell when they fall from Jun’s lips. Their blood runs cold, and the temperature in the house drops to subzero. A moment frozen in time and all they can do is be forced to come to terms with their actions . The room immediately explodes into desperate questions and exclamations to their head housekeeper.

“Where is she? Did she say where she’s going”, Hoseok tearily yells.

“Did she leave a note?” Jungkook chews on his lower lip until it bleeds.

“When did she leave? She couldn’t have gotten far.” Jimin grabs Jun by the shoulders, forcing her closer as if he could look in her eyes and pretend she was lying.

“Excuse me if I am speaking out of turn, Sir”, Jun clears her throat, “but what did you think was going to happen?”

The seven of them are stunned into silence, swimming in utter confusion and worry about where in the world you could be. If you were in danger at all.

“She’s been left by herself for weeks. In this big, cold house while you all were wrapped up in your business. Tried talking to you so many times, but you all pushed her away.” Jun sighs disappointedly.

Her words ring with truth, and perhaps that is the most painful part about it all. The boys can’t do anything but stand there and listen. You were dear to Jun, and she wouldn’t let the fear of standing up to her intimidating bosses keep her from saying the things you didn’t have the courage to.

“Y/N, she...she’s been struggling. Did she tell you that? Wouldn’t sleep for days, so I sometimes snuck melatonin into her afternoon tea. But still, she’d come out of that bedroom with dark circles that almost looked painful. I’m surprised you didn’t hear her toss and turn all night, Taehyung.” Jun spares him a glance. Not malicious or accusing. Just genuine curiosity and it makes Taehyung want to burrow himself into the ground.

Namjoon’s heart drops as Jun continues speaking. How could they have been so oblivious to everything? So out of touch and wrapped up in other priorities that they seemed to completely forget about you? Arguably the most important person in their life.

“Sometimes, she even refused to eat. Couldn’t even stomach a cup of soup, and she’s gotten so thin, I had to tailor all her clothes.”

Jin’s eyes widen at the statement, his throat in knots and the sinking feeling in his gut only magnifying. Like ice water to warm skin. That’s how Jun’s words felt to their system. Like they had been so blind this entire time, so distracted by everything else that they forgot someone who had become one of the most important people to them.

“Forgive me for speaking my truth, sir. But I’ve never quite felt such disappointment when I heard the things you said to Y/N yesterday. A-And I don’t condone her decision to leave. But can you blame her?” Jun sighs, exasperated as her worry for you seeps into her consciousness.

Jimin pushes away the tears that have clouded his eyes, looking down at the marble floors so that no one sees the gloss that wasn’t there before Jun started speaking. He pretends not to notice the way Jungkook’s tremulous and shaky breathing, or the way Yoongi’s fisted hands have turned completely white from the tension. All he can think about...all they can think about...is you.

Hoseok coughs, clearing his throat and steeling his voice to not show emotion. “Did she tell you where she was going?”

Jun shakes her head solemnly, twisting her apron in her hands. The boys begin to make their way downstairs, tension in the air thicker than ever and only one priority clear in their minds.

“However…”, Jun’s small voice stops them in their concentrated footsteps. “While she was packing, she told me to say one thing to you all.”

It’s expectant. They almost don’t want to hear it at all. Hearing it would affirm that they are completely undeserving of you. That you are an angel among beasts whose love language is to destroy and wreck. That maybe leaving them would be the best thing to happen to you.

“She told me to tell you she’s sorry. For everything.”

Everything is what you deserved. Everything is what they would do to prove that to you.

Korea from the view of your aunt’s private jet was a bittersweet revelation. It was beautiful. So achingly and hauntingly beautiful with the ghosts of your past and the shattered promises for the future. If you squint, you could still make out remnants of the Han River. Traces of a place that seemed to cry for you as you left for the states.

You didn’t want to be truthful to yourself. You didn’t want to admit that you wouldn’t miss Korea because of the people or the landscape or the weather. You’d miss it because they were there. That home had been so close you could nearly taste it.

The trip was a chaotic blur. You faded in and out of sleep, in a hypnotic trance that proved to be your body’s self-defense mechanism to repress every emotion you had felt since you left. Stewardesses offering you flutes of champagne, drivers loading and unloading your luggage, the words of everyone around you flowing in and out like a stream of water that you ignored.

“I trust everything is to your satisfaction, Y/N? Really, you must come visit more often. Your uncle and I have missed you terribly.”

Your aunt had always been a kind woman. She was from your mother’s side, and like everyone else, so oblivious to the true nature of the Yoo family. How sinister things truly were behind those closed, gold-plated doors. Their house was grand, large enough so that you could make yourself scarce and wouldn’t be a disturbance. Though you couldn’t help but to notice the lack of boyish voices drifting down the hall, or the rhythm of Taehyung’s hands on the keyboard in the room next to you.

You offer a kind smile to the butler, who gently sets your singular backpack on the plush bed that screamed out your name.

“Thank you so much for everything, Aunt Kim. I promise I’ll transfer over the money for the plane fees and carry my weight around here for the time being.”

Your words make you nearly wince with the uncertainty of your wobbly plans. Where would you even get the money? Ask your father? Ask them?

“I....I promise to be out of your hair as quickly as I can”, you shakily breathe, failing to convince yourself. Yet your aunt only holds a kind smile and a warm gaze.

“Stay as long as you want, dear. It’s the least we could do to repay everything your family has done for us over the years. Especially your father.”

You know you cannot blame her oblivion. Not when it is such a well-guarded secret. Yet her words douse kerosene to the fire in your chest. Tugs at the stitches of the subconscious wounds you have yet to heal. It makes you remember them. Your boys. How they would burn at hearing such words, grit their teeths and spit poison at anyone who held your father’s name in a high regard.

Or would they? After everything, you’re not so sure anymore. Painful or not, it makes you miss them even more.

So you smile. Bite your tongue, hold your fists at your side, and thank her again for the kindness she has shown you when you had nowhere else to run. America felt different. The air itself seemed like a culture shock. Being the ambassador’s daughter had prepared you for fluency in English and how to carry yourself diplomatically, but the journey ahead was bound to be rough.

For the first time in your life, you would be the only one you had to care for. Not Soyeon, not your mother, not Bangtan. You’d have to do this by yourself, now, and though all the emotions you have locked away will inevitably return to confront you, this sanctuary for now would have to be enough.

You were surprisingly more difficult to find than the boys had expected. Traveling alone with no clunky belongings meant you were able to move more quickly than they had anticipated and the motel you stayed at was paid for in all cash. However, nothing in the city could really happen under Bangtan’s watch, and here you were. Video footage displayed on the screen of their basement office, and they can only feel heartache as they watch you through the screen.

“She checked out in the morning. Got picked up by a gray SUV and taken to the airport.” Taehyung drones, eyes still glued to the screen. Like looking at your pixelated face would bring you closer to him somehow. He missed you. They all did.

“The plane’s not registered with any public company, so I’m guessing it’s a private one belonging to her family.” Taehyung adds on, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on the table. The air was tense with frustration. Anger at themselves and at each other for letting his happen. For making you run away.

“Any idea where it’s going?” Yoongi quietly murmurs from the end of the long table.

“America.”

America. You felt so discouraged and hurt by them that you had to go all the way to America. They did this. This is their fault.

“So? What are we waiting for? Tell the guards to prep the jet to America. We’ll bring her back”, Jimin gawks at Namjoon, who nurses a glass of scotch like it’s his lifeline. The room falls silent awaiting their leader’s course of action, but the six of them are left speechless when Namjoon himself starts laughing. The kind of laugh that sends chills down their spines. So raucous yet emotionless. So full of hidden pain. Namjoon tips the rest of the glass down his throat, looking at them all with a hopeless expression.

“What makes you think she wants to see us? After what we put her through? Hell, I’d be surprised if she lets us within a 10 foot radius.” Namjoon’s words are cruel, but they can’t help but to believe it to be true.

“N-No. She’ll understand that we were stressed. I-If we just explain everything, I’m sure she’ll-”

“Don’t you remember what happened in the kitchen? What Jun said? She’s been withering away for weeks, Jimin, and none of us gave enough of a fuck to notice. We made her feel invisible.” Namjoon chuckles, but there is only pain in his tone. One that he drowns out with another swig of top-shelf whiskey.

“We can fix it. We can go to America and fix it”, Hoseok stares down the leader, insistent on making efforts.

“No we can’t Hoseok”, Jin’s brows furrow, eyes lighting with fire, “Jun said she didn’t sleep. She didn’t eat. I wouldn’t take us back either.”

The boys know better than to take it personally. They were all heartbroken in the wake of your leaving, so desperate to get to you yet ashamed of themselves, apprehensive of if they even have the right to chase after you.

Jungkook leaps up from his seat, chest huffing and hands raking violently through his hair. He paces back and forth, eyes swimming in hurt and frustration until it all seemed to combust through his body, flinging his office chair to the side to find any form of catharsis.

He spares a poisoned glance over to Yoongi’s direction, who still sits with his eyes glued to the floor, as if ashamed of his mere existence.

“You.” The malice in Jungkook’s voice is crystal clear.Yoongi’s shirt collar is acquaintanced with Jungkook’s fisted hand, and he grips onto the older man like a viper to its prey. As if blunt force could make you come back. The other five boys could only watch.

“You did this. You told her to leave. Now she’s gone. I loved her, Yoongi.” Though Jungkook’s words are pumped with antipathy, the sheer devastation is heard most through it all. Yoongi doesn’t fight back. Doesn’t even make a move to push the younger off or shield himself from oncoming hits. Just sits passively with a monotone expression, staring into Jungkook’s eyes with a blank gaze.

“You’re not faultless. You yelled at her too.”

No, none of them are faultless. And perhaps Yoongi’s words were the nails in the coffin, but they all had part in pushing you to that brink. Jungkook’s eyes gloss over with defeat, and the grip he had on Yoongi’s shirt loosens. He steps away, unable to meet any of the gazes of his older brothers or the footage of your distressed face on the flat screen monitor. Leave. That’s all he’s known to do.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi holds no anger in his voice. It stops Jungkook in his tracks as he waits for his hyung to finish.

“I loved her too. We all do.”

They can only pray they’ll get to tell you.

The diner two blocks away from your aunt’s apartment complex is the last place anyone would expect Ambassador Yoo’s eldest daughter to be, much less employed at. You had spent the last two weeks scouring the area for a place that would take a girl with no prior work experience, a pending student visa, and no contacts or references. But here you were, working a minimum wage job and saving every penny to make something of yourself in this entirely new country.

It hasn’t been easy. Trying not to think about the seven boys that you left back home. The seven boys that you love so desperately and hopelessly, and foolishly thought they felt the same. It’s in the wee hours of the night that you toss and turn, closing your eyes and imagine yourself back at their manor. You will your brain to manifest the clacking sounds of Taehyung’s keyboard from across the wall or the footsteps of Yoongi’s bulky shoes when he walks past your door every night.

You miss them compulsively so. And perhaps they do not deserve your thoughts or heartache, but it belongs to them. Even after everything, you still belong to them. But you won’t give yourself the luxury of thinking you mean more than someone who they took pity on.

The days are the same. You get up early in the morning, put on a pot of coffee by yourself much to the disapproval of the housekeeper. Though it’s baby steps, you feel more independent this way. The coffee is terrible, of course, but it’s the thought that counts.

You leave before your aunt even leaves her bedroom, dedicated to your full-time job and earning money whenever you can. The pay is almost humorous, and a week’s worth of your labor probably equates to what Soyeon spends in a day. But it is your work. Your money. And though everyday starts and ends with heartache and longing for a life you once had in your grasp, it feels refreshing to learn to only need yourself.

“Y/N”, your manager sighs as you stumble through the door with frazzled hair and painfully dark under eyes. “You’re late.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry. Traffic was insane this morning. It won’t happen again.” Your hair is expertly swept back into a haphazard bun, fiddling with the apron around your waist before jumping to the orders that have begun to get cold on the counter.

The work was simple. Slow. But it was honest and enough for you. The diner was calm; a refreshing environment from the one you had in Korea.

“Here you are, sir. Black coffee and a side of toast”, you muttered in a sugary sweet voice, fake smile stretched on your face to hide the perpetual pain in your chest that has not went away since you left the Bangtan house. It’s easier these days to just not think about it. To completely repress the trauma of your father and the boys and the failed therapy. The smile drops as soon as you turn around to walk back to the counter.

“Rough morning?” Lina’s voice is gravelly, rough from the coffee and 15-minute smoke breaks she takes every lunch.

“Something like that.” You collapse onto the cashier counter, holding your head in your hands to will away the pounding ache of your temples.

“First it was me completely sleeping through the morning alarm. Then it was the bus detouring and making five extra stops they usually don’t”, you huff.

“Y/N?”

“And don’t get me started on the fact that I decided to drop my phone in a puddle when I was running here.”

“Y/N.” Lina’s voice cuts through your venting monologue. She stares past you, as if there was something behind you captivating her attention.

“I think someone is staring at us from across the street.” Your brows furror at her words, whipping around to the window. When you see him. The air in the diner thins until it completely disappears, and the breath is stolen from your lungs.

Your paled face and shaking hands is what he sees from where he’s standing, clad in a black hoodie that covered his head, but you could recognize him in your sleep.You are both frozen in time and chaos, staring at each other like you both did not belong. Eyes glued to the other like you are both too good to be true.

Are you imagining it? Through the tears that reflexively pooled in your eyes and the way your body quivers, are you finally going insane and imagining a person who has been plaguing your mind for weeks?

Your feet carry you into action when your mind is still stuck in shellshock, bursting out of the diner doors with desperation on your tongue, hands reaching out as if it would span across the streetlight and bring him closer.

“Jin?” You are not quiet. You scream his name across what feels like a chasm, but is only just a couple meters away. Your legs usher you into the open street, and cars veer and honk to avoid your form, frozen on the crosswalk.

It takes you one second to blink and him one second to disappear into the crowd. Like he was never there at all and your mind was playing cruel, evil tricks on your already crumbling soul. A ruse that Lina was in on, just to torture your decimated spirit.

Could you allow yourself the luxury to think that he had come to see you? You didn’t know if you even wanted him to, didn’t know if you had it in you to forgive and forget.

“Jin.”

It comes out as a shaky whisper under your breath. A broken voice that longs for something she cannot have. Something that was so far in space and time it now felt like a figment of your imagination. You allow a tear to fall, your heart to crack a bit more, and return to the diner.

“Where have you been running off to these days?” The words are snide. Coated in feigned concern and curiosity and meant to be a jab at Jin’s recent absence in Bangtan activities. They are easy to fall from Yoongi’s lips as he steals another swig of the McKellan whiskey he’s been saving up for a special occasion or a rainy day. What more fitting than to mourn the space in his heart where you used to be.

Jin stays silent, only giving the intoxicated Yoongi a heavy eye roll and trudging past him. To say that the seven men were in terrible shape after your departure is a gross understatement. But Yoongi’s onset alcoholism seemed mild compared to how the rest of the boys were faring.

Both Taehyung and Jungkook haven’t left their rooms since finding out you were in America, only the sounds of their computer keys, heavy footsteps, and the empty food plates left at their doors to signal that they were alive in there. Namjoon had thrown himself into work, picking up the slack of all the other boys and sometimes emerging from his office at the early hours of dawn looking like he hasn’t slept in a week. His gaunty face and the way his once fitted shirt now falls loosely on his shoulders tells Jin he hasn’t eaten much either.

Hoseok could more often than not be found in the training room, breaking and bruising himself to numb him from the pain of losing you. He takes it out on the poor gang recruits that were unlucky enough to be chosen to spar with him.

And Jin? Well, Jin spent his days away from the house. Away from the business and the drugs and the people. He never tells anyone where he’s going or when he’s coming back and they are all too drained to try to ask. The boys live together but not truly. Just exist and breathe in the same space and too resentful of themselves and the others to fix the fragments you left behind. They miss you. Long for you and burn for you like they never have for anyone else.

See, it’s one thing to not know where you are and be forced to be away from you on the basis of ignorance. But to know your exact location, have the time and resources to easily get to you, yet can’t come to you because they’ve hurt you immeasurably is a different kind of torture. A different kind of ache that haunts their souls at every waking moment. You are so close and so far away, and they only have themselves to blame for the distance.

“Jun, can you make a meal for Namjoon? I’ll take it up to him.” Jin sighs to the housekeeper, shedding off his coat on the kitchen stool.��

Jun nods knowingly, fully aware of the effects your absence has had on the masters of the house. And she is not blind to Jin’s indifference or the way he is doing worlds better than the others.

“He’ll probably try to yell at me and make you go away first. But he’ll be thankful eventually.” Jin nurses a cup of tea to warm him after his journey. Ones that he takes every week and for days at a time.

Jun nods again, assembling a tray of food that Namjoon will undoubtedly leave to get cold either at his door or the end of his desk. Before he leaves, however, Jun spares the man a knowing glance and a sad smile.

“You may want to return the private jet more promptly next time, sir. The others have gotten...wary.”

Jin’s eyes widen at her words, frozen for a millisecond in his footsteps as realization strikes in that he hadn’t been as inconspicuous as he thought. He says nothing as he departs from the kitchen. Only stares at the marble floor and wonders what would be the next time he’d get to see you. Even if from a street’s distance.

It takes four syncopated knocks before semblance of a noise emerges from behind Namjoon’s closed door. It comes in the form of an angered grunt, but Jin is no stranger to his leader’s brunt. He opens the door with no further permission.

Namjoon is in worse shape than he had expected. His hair is another level of unruly, greasy and matted and looking like the man ran his hands through it a billion times. The paperwork strewn across his desk and floor reflects the mess in Namjoon’s own head. Like he is suffocating himself in his work but still finds breath in his lungs. Still finds you in his thoughts.

“You need to eat”, Jin states demandingly. Namjoon only hums in response, keeping his eyes glued to the work in front of him. Jin pushes the tray into his line of vision.

“Eat, Joon. You can’t work if you starve. Y/N would want you to eat.”

Your name makes his pen stop writing. Makes his eyes widen like he hasn’t heard it said aloud in ages. It’s pathetic to Namjoon, really. How much one person has affected him.

“How would you know what Y/N wants, Jin? How would any of us?” He sneers, resuming the scribbling on his paper. Jin sighs dejectedly, opting to leave the food on his table and not be bothered with trying to help someone who so clearly didn’t want to be helped. He turns around to leave. Until Namjoon opens his mouth again.

“Unless….”, he teeters, “you do know what she wants.” He tosses the pen and papers aside, crossing his arms and sitting back in the desk chair.

“Unless you’ve been going behind our backs to see her.”

Had he been turned around facing Namjoon, the younger would have seen the clear exposed truth on his face. The blatant and unhidden look of guilt and shame that he quickly masks once he whips to face Namjoon.

“What are you talking about?”

The responding statement is quick. Too quick. Too accosting. Namjoon squints his eyes.

“Only the several days these past weeks you’ve disappeared from Bangtan’s radar. The bills for the jet fuel sent to my directory. The pilots you’ve been pulling away from our forces in Korea to personally tend to whatever shady business you’ve been hiding under my nose.”

Namjoon’s words are rapid fire, piercing into the facade that Jin thought he had so carefully crafted. He should’ve known nothing goes unnoticed under the leader’s eye.

“Namjoon, I-”

“Just be glad I didn’t tell the others. Especially Jungkook.” The thought of the youngest makes him sigh. Jungkook has always been so volatile. A ticking, emotionally-charged and codependent time bomb hiding under that muscle and masculinity. Namjoon knew better than to expose something like this just yet.

When he looks up at the man standing in the doorway of his office, he’s looking straight past him. Through the window like it was you he saw in the sky. Observing him now, up close and with more attention, Namjoon finally gets to truly see him.

On the surface, Jin is faring worlds better than any of them. He’s clean and freshly showered, hair coiffed to perfection like it usually is. He dons a black button up; perfectly ironed without a crease in sight. But Namjoon knows him better than that. Jin looks so utterly drained it stirs sympathy in even the darkest of hearts. His eyes communicate something his words can’t: Seokjin is completely lost without your light.

“I’m sorry.” The words come out breathily. Like he’s been waiting to say it all this time but couldn’t.

“I just…”, he stares down at his hands, “I just needed to see her. See if she was doing alright after we…” Jin trails off, not able to face the truth of their actions just yet. And though there is lingering anger in Namjoon, he can’t help but to feel his distress vicariously.

“You know, she’s a waitress now. At this small, run-down diner downtown. With a cute little apron and everything”, he chuckles softly, sadness seeping in every word.

“She lives with her aunt and uncle, and walks everywhere because she doesn’t have a car, at unholy hours of the night which keeps me up every night constantly worrying about her. But that’s Y/N, isn’t it? So careless of her own safety and well-being.”

Namjoon refrains the smile that creeps on his face at the thought of you.

“She was smiling when I saw her. I could still see she was sad but she was smiling. Like she always does just so other people feel happier around her.”

“Jin, you don’t have to-”

“And she’s lost so much weight, Namjoon. She was trying to yell out for help and all we did was ignore her.”

Jin’s words are nails on a chalkboard. Vinegar in wine. It makes them both nauseous and rueful, and the oxygen in Namjoon’s office suddenly becomes all too suffocating. Your presence, or lack thereof, has left a heavy residue on the walls of the manor.

The two boys sit in silence for a moment, before the sound of thumping boots on hardwood flooring echoes down the hallway, getting louder as it approaches the office. The door is nearly taken off its hinges as it violently swings open. Taehyung stands in the threshold, sweat on his brow and chest huffing up and down like an overexerted engine. He is pale in the face, hands trembling at his side and the sheer shock in his gaze tells the two older men that the words preparing to slip from his tongue are not going to be pleasant. Jin and Namjoon brace themselves for impact.

“It’s Y/N”, his whispered voice quivers. Their hearts drop.

“There’s been an accident.”

taglist: @pinkyhim, @deolly, @loveyoongles, @drunkzseok, @hope122598, @uwunamjoon, @nomimits7, @bubblebunnylia, @aquaalanah, @juliie-ocha, @daydreambrliever, @btsbabby, @blank-et-noir, @myheartstaysinkorea, @rosiethefairy, @tiredjedi, @lovemyself-persona, @jeoncookie-bts, @annoyingpessimist, @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh, @btstxtgenre, @taesugaar, @hxsxxk-180294, @bubbletae7, @uglyratlmao, @hopetookmysoul, @supertweetycherry, @missseoulite, @barbikatherine, @jamesfrickingbuchananbarnes, @sunsetsnsirens-blog, @vanilla-smash, @lmaosani, @onionhaseyeo, @i-dumb-bitch, @euphxriajoon, @justpeachyjoon, @dabbingangels, @h5naaa, @parkmaeri, @softescapism, @bena-baby, @myjiminmychimchim, @moments-of-melancholy, @krystle1990, @chatsgotmytongue, @vi-hoshi, @unlikelylittlemiss, @rosey-roseau, @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag, @kookiebbyxx, @thebleuprince, @dreamer95, @jinana-iactium, @holaaaf, @small-babycat, @h0bi-c0re, @katbonv, @embrace-themagic, @jiminmochee, @fanoffandomss, @mwitsmejk, @mrsfortune1306, @raadia, @kookima, @bonesfordayss, @dinoboysindahouse, @jiminie-lovely, @queenceline22, @jikooksgirl19, @somewhereinthestarss, @kookieskiwi, @lynnfanficreblogs, @vintageroses10,

1K notes · View notes

arc852 · 3 years

Text

An Unlikely Duo Ch. 3

Warnings: Fear, panic and mention of treating a person like a pet

Word Count: 2426

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Read on AO3

________________________________________________________________

Wilbur spent the hours leading up to dinner looking through his laptop trying to figure out what song he should play for Tommy. He hadn’t meant for it to take that long and had actually wanted to play before dinner was ready but picking a song Tommy might like was a lot harder than he thought. Not to mention, the more he stared at his own sheets of music, the more he hated every single one.

He let out a sigh and shut his laptop, rubbing a hand down his face. He’d figure it out after he got back, he supposed.

He headed down to dinner, only to see that they were serving spaghetti tonight. Wilbur smiled a little at the chance to bring Tommy some warm food. He could even give Tommy some bread with it as well. A full meal instead of just some deli meats he found in the fridge.

He ate his portion of dinner, putting a forkful in a napkin and hiding it away in his pocket when the adults weren’t looking. He grinned to himself when they didn’t notice and then did the same thing with a whole roll of bread. The adults were none the wiser and when he asked to be excused, they let him go with no suspicions. Perfect.

He closed the door to his room and kneeled down so he could place the food underneath his bed. He bit his lip as he stayed there for a moment, looking at the wall that Tommy was probably still behind. He cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, I brought you some dinner. Some bread and spaghetti. It was really good so I hope you like it. If not, I can always bring you something else.”

He waited a moment, to see if Tommy might come out or answer him but when all he was met with was silence, Wilbur crawled out from the bed and stood up. That was fine, the little guy was probably still scared and Wilbur couldn’t blame him for that. So maybe some music would ease him.

Wilbur grabbed his guitar and sat on his bed where he propped open his laptop once again. He frowned when he realized he was right back where he was. Unable to choose a song to play for Tommy.

He strummed absentmindedly on his guitar as he thought over his choices. He could try the song he was playing when he first saw Tommy...but the problem with that was that it wasn't actually a song Wilbur had written. He had just been messing around on his guitar at that point. He can’t even remember what he was playing.

A thought suddenly struck Wilbur. Maybe that was it. Maybe the song didn’t really matter. Tommy seemed to like it when he was simply playing around with chords. Maybe that would be enough.

Biting his lip, Wilbur pulled up a blank music sheet. Maybe messing around and writing a new song was exactly what he needed.

And hopefully it would be enough to ease Tommy’s mind and pique his interest.

***

Tommy had been in the middle of bending his newly acquired paperclip into a hook shape when he heard the door to the human’s room open again. He had felt a lot more comfortable when Wilbur hadn’t been in the room. But of course, the human had to return eventually. Tommy expected that.

What he didn’t expect was for Wilbur to actually try and talk to him.

Tommy froze as soon as he processed Wilbur was speaking. Despite being muffled through the walls, Tommy had no trouble picking up on the words being said. He had been brought food, again. Part of Tommy, which he was pretty sure was his stomach, was happy at the chance to eat more food. The other part, the more rational part, was livid that the human would try it again.

He knew he shouldn’t have taken the food. Because now Wilbur had taken it as an incentive to keep doing it. To keep pitying him.

Well, Tommy wasn’t having it.

Overcome with anger and a sense of wanting to prove himself, Tommy marched out of the wall. He grabbed the piece of bread, ignoring the way the heat came off in fumes and the smell wafted around, making his mouth water. He ignored it all in favor of taking the piece of bread and coming out from underneath the bed.

The music had just barely started when Tommy decided to interrupt. Cupping his hand over his mouth in order to make sure he was heard. “Hey b****!”

Wilbur’s hand paused on the strings, his body tensing. A voice, Tommy’s voice, seemed to come from the floor. But that would mean…

Oh so slowly, as if anything faster would make Tommy leave, Wilbur put down his guitar beside him on the bed and then leaned over said bed, glancing down toward the floor. And there was Tommy, small as ever, with a familiar glare pointed right at Wilbur. Wilbur swallowed thickly, wondering what Tommy was doing out of the walls. “Tommy, what-?”

“I don’t need your f****** food, you giant prick! And I don’t want your f****** pity either!” Tommy yelled, all his anger put into the words. Wilbur, meanwhile, sat frozen, shocked at Tommy’s words. “I can do things just fine on my own! I don’t need you or anyone and I don’t need this f****** bread either!” And with that last yell, Tommy mustered up all the strength he had and threw the bread square at Wilbur’s face.

To the surprise of both the borrower and human, the bread hit its mark and hit Wilbur right beneath his eye.

The piece of bread fell onto the bed and Wilbur stared at it, not knowing what to do or say. He glanced towards Tommy, who was breathing heavily from anger.

But, as the anger slowly pulled out of his body, Tommy realized what he had just done. The anger quickly turned into an overwhelming sense of fear as the borrower realized how much he just messed up. He talked back to a human, not even that, he yelled and cursed and threw something at someone who was so much larger than himself. A being who would have no problem getting back at him tenfold.

Tommy wasted no time in scurrying back under the bed and towards the wall.

As soon as Tommy moved, Wilbur snapped out of his frozen state. “Wait, Tommy!” He got down from his bed and did his best to follow the borrower under the bed. He got under there in just enough time to see the tiny entrance to the walls close, with Tommy already in them.

Tommy pressed his back against the door, heart pounding and trying to keep his breathing steady. Seeing Wilbur follow after him had been terrifying. And even now, knowing Wilbur was right there, waiting outside his door made Tommy panic. There was no way the human could get him out of the walls...right?

Oh god but he totally could. All it would take is a hammer to the wall and Tommy would be exposed. Caught like the stupid borrower he was, why did he have to go out and do that-

“Tommy?” A voice cut through his panicked thoughts and Tommy tensed. The voice sounded close. Too close. “Hey, I’m not...mad or anything. I’m just a little confused. I gave you the food because I just want to help. Not because of any pity or anything. I don’t pity you, Tommy.” Wilbur’s words were gentle and calm but Tommy still felt his hands become fists at his sides.

“Why else would you give me the food? It’s because you don’t think I can get any myself.” Tommy spoke, proud that he managed without stuttering.

“That’s not true. I’m sure you’re plenty capable.” Wilbur said back and Tommy faltered a bit. “I just thought it would be nice for you not to have to go through the trouble of finding something. Besides, it’s cold. I figured maybe you’d want something warm.”

“You don’t know what I want.” Tommy spit out but it held less fire in it than before.

“You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed but I couldn’t help it. And maybe part of it is because I...I feel bad for before. For grabbing you.” Wilbur admitted, looking down at the fibers in the carpet. Tommy blinked.

“It was incredibly rude of you.” Tommy said, the fire from his anger all but gone at this point. A laugh escaped Wilbur, causing Tommy to flinch but he soon relaxed when he realized what it was.

“That’s fair.” Wilbur said inbetween laughs. Tommy couldn’t help but smile a little but it quickly left his face when a question popped into his head. A question he had been itching to ask since it had happened, really. He supposed now was as good of a time as any. With the wall between them, Tommy felt a lot more comfortable talking to the human.

“What was the deal with the whole three questions thing anyway? You could have just...kept me and forced me to answer all that you wanted to ask.” Tommy didn’t know why he was bringing up the fact that Wilbur could have kept him. Could very much still catch him and keep him. But the question was already out in the open.

Wilbur was silent for a long time, to the point where Tommy was starting to get nervous. Did he just make the human realize his mistake? Was this where the hammer to the walls came in?

“Tommy, I...I wouldn’t…” Wilbur was having a hard time collecting his thoughts. “I was never going to keep you. I was curious, yeah, and I definitely reacted wrong but you’re clearly a person and that’s...no, yeah, I was always going to let you go. The questions...I did that so I could get something out of our meeting before you left.”

Tommy blinked, mind running with this new information. Part of him wanted to say that Wilbur was lying but at the same time...he did let him go. Was that enough to support what Wilbur claimed?

“I...I didn’t think it mattered, if I was a person or not. Cause yeah, that s*** is obvious but other humans don’t seem to care too much about that. They see something small and ‘helpless’ and think, mine.” He remembered the stories his parents would tell him, of borrowers being caught and kept as pets even after they revealed they could think and speak for themselves. It was awful and did the trick for little Tommy to stay far away from outside the walls for the longest time.

“...Well those people are right pricks then.” Wilbur spoke and the bluntness of the statement made Tommy laugh. Despite the underlying anger in Wilbur’s tone, he was pretty sure the anger wasn’t directed at him.

“Couldn’t agree with you more, big man.” The nickname slipped out without him meaning to but if Wilbur noticed he didn’t say anything. Just let out a quiet snort. They sat in silence for a few moments and in that time Tommy realized his heart wasn’t beating as fast as it had been. He was still terrified but somehow...less, now.

Wilbur stared at the little door, the one that blended into the walls so well he could barely even see it. Half of him hoped Tommy would come out and they could speak face to face but he knew that wouldn’t happen. And he couldn’t really blame him either. Not with Tommy’s line of thinking. It truly was awful though, especially since Wilbur knew full well that some humans were just that bad. It made Wilbur sick just thinking about it.

He stared at the small piece of bread that he had taken with him, the one that Tommy had thrown and gently placed it back with the small pile of spaghetti. “I’ll leave you alone now. I know it was probably a bit...much, with me chasing you underneath the bed. Sorry, about that by the way. Um, but yeah. I’ll leave the food here, just in case you want it. Not out of pity or anything.” Wilbur felt the need to reassure further. “But just because.”

Tommy didn’t say anything at that. But Wilbur smiled anyway. “And if you ever need anything, I’d be more than happy to help you out.” He let his words hang there for a bit, letting Tommy soak them up. “Goodnight, Tommy.” And with that, Wilbur crawled out from underneath the bed and climbed back on top of it.

He stared at his guitar for a moment before picking it up to put away. It was getting late anyway. He should probably get some sleep.

As Tommy heard Wilbur shuffling around, he couldn’t help but think about what had just happened. It had gone...better, than Tommy would have ever expected. He still wasn’t sure if he believed Wilbur or not but some part of him really wanted to. It was dangerous to listen to that part of him though.

As the noises out in the room died down, Tommy took a deep breath and opened the door. He half-expected to see Wilbur still under the bed, waiting for him. But of course, he wasn’t. Judging by the silence and how dark the room was, Tommy could only assume he had gone to bed.

His eyes drifted over towards the small pile of food, still steaming. Hesitantly, Tommy made his way over to it and picked up the piece of bread he had thrown at Wilbur. It wasn’t as hot as before but it still held some of its warmth. It was soft in his hands with a spongy sort of texture. Tommy had had bread before but that bread had always been kind of old and stale. It was never like this.

He took a bite out of it and tears immediately welled up in his eyes.

Tommy had never eaten anything warm before. It was an unfamiliar but welcome feeling all the same. The dull cold he always felt was, for once, warmed by the food. It was amazing and that was just the bread.

He wiped his tears away as he continued to eat.

And later that night, as he laid on the ground with his thin blanket and a full, warm, stomach, he couldn’t help but think about Wilbur.

#g/t #giant/tiny #mcyt g/t #dsmp g/t #borrowers #au #borrower!tommy #human!wilbur #an unlikely duo #part 3 #fic #my fic #tommyinnit #wilbur soot

130 notes · View notes

ateezthings · 4 years

Text

ATEEZ Reaction: Forced breakup with S/O + admitting their insecurities

@hongjoongscftie said: “Hey :) first thing,I hope you're having an amazing day! And secondly,could I maybe request an ateez reaction? I was thinking of the ateez members being insecure about something on themselves (like voice,looks,etc) and reader is telling them that there's nothing to worry about,and that they love them just how they are,and that they always will be there for ateez,but a week later the management is forcing reader to break up with their boyfriend,because it could affect their career,and as they are packing their things (member) walks in? I don't know if this made sense,and I'm sorry for my bad english 🥺”

I hope this is what you had in mind 😊 (Also please normalize dudes talking about insecurities)

Genderneutral

Angst, Fluffy moments

Pairings: You x each member

Warnings: language, breakups, topics of body image, insecurities, crying (San’s part is the most heartbreaking)

Word count: 3.2K

Songs, that convey the feeling I was going for:

Twocolors – Lovefool

Lauv – The Other

Young Lions – You Are II

One Republic – Didn’t I

Halsey - Sorry

*~Seonghwa~*

“Do you like my voice?”

It was late. Seonghwa and you were in bed, about to fall asleep.

“Hm? Yeah, sure Hwa, there’s a reason you sell so many albums.”

“That’s not what I asked, I wanted to know if you like my voice.”

Now you sat up, he really was unsure of this. “Seonghwa, I love your voice… You don’t know this but whenever you’re gone over night, I listen to your demos to hear you sing because it helps me fall asleep.”

That statement conjured a shy smile on his face. “I love you Y/N” He pressed a kiss on your forehead.

…

“No no no… don’t leave me Y/N, please, don’t.”

After the very stern talk with their manager, you had no choice but to pack your bags. Halfway through packing, Seonghwa barged in, a panicked look in his eyes, worried when he saw your tear-stained face.

“We can talk about this… just please, don’t go like this” While begging you to stay he took your clothes out of the bag.

“Mr. Kim made it quite clear that I should leave if I don’t want to ruin your career… I don’t think we have a choice Seonghwa”

“We do, I’ll talk to him, we can be together... maybe we’ll have to stay quiet for a few months, but I can’t lose you, I love you so much and I don’t think I could live without you now, so tell me you really would be okay with leaving, because I don’t think you are” He spoke so fast, you had trouble understanding him.

A new wave of tears rolled down your cheeks as you slowly approached him. “I’m not, I’m not okay with leaving you because I need you too.”

He opened his arms to hug you. Feeling his heartbeat next to your ear calmed you down.

*~Hongjoong~*

“Ugh, I need to train more” He mumbled when he saw himself in the mirror.

“What did you say?” You knew from your own experience that insecurities could consume your whole thinking, so you wanted to prevent that from happening to your boyfriend.

“I just wish I had bigger arms, I look like a weakling next to the other guys.”

“No… no you don’t, you look perfect to me, you know I love you the way you are… Please don’t think about it too much, Joong.”

“Baby, I love you too, thank you” He put an arm around you shoulder and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

…

You didn’t remember the walk home after the talk with Ateez’ manager. You couldn’t leave him. Hongjoong was the first serious relationship you had in quite a long time; you couldn’t give him up. But you couldn’t lie, talking to their manager intimidated you a lot. You didn’t know what would happen if you didn’t comply, and you didn’t want to find out.

You were still in a state of shock when Hongjoong arrived.

“Y/N? Are you home?” He practically ran to the bedroom where you were.

“Please Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t know they’d do this” He helped you sit up on the bed and crouched down in front of you. You still couldn’t talk.

“Babe, please talk to me.”

Finally, you looked at him. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to leave, but I also don’t want to be the reason for your problems… Please tell me what to do.”

“I don’t want you to leave me” There was genuine worry in his eyes. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you… and I think we’ll find a way to deal with them.”

At the moment, you really needed him to be optimistic for the both of you. Slowly, you cupped his face with your hands, you never wanted to forget his face. “I’ll stay with you.”

*~Yunho~*

“Y/N, can I talk to you about something?”

“Always, babe, what’s going on?”

You two were cuddling in his bed after a long and stressful day.

“Do you think I should get a six pack?” When you looked at him, he was biting his lip.

“Where is this coming from?” You knew he needed to be in shape to be an idol, but he was, there was nothing you’d change about him.

He still didn’t look at you “I just… Sometimes when we have dance rehearsal, I feel stupid standing next to San, we’re both dancers but his abs are amazing, he’s been working so hard, and it’s really paid off… we gained a lot of fans through him…”

“Alright listen to me Yunho: If there are fans that are only here for your look, that’s pretty shallow, of course it’s nice to look at pretty people but your message and the songs and your energy is much more important… You are in shape, you’re a main dancer, rationally I don’t think you need to change anything if you’re happy with yourself… and if you’d like to know… I like your soft tummy; I wouldn’t change a thing about you… I love you.”

He finally looked at you, his eyes sparkling, slowly breaking into a smile “I love you too, baby, what would I do without you?”

…

Tears were running down your cheeks, blurring your vision while you were trying to put your clothes into a bag. A friend had offered you could stay with him for a few weeks after Ateez’ manager told you, you needed to leave Yunho. You couldn’t believe it. They didn’t leave you a choice, either you’d leave voluntarily, or they’d have to take more serious measures.

You hadn’t talked to Yunho, but you figured their manager did. You didn’t want to make it harder than it already was. Leaving without a trace would be the best.

Suddenly you heard the door open, no, you couldn’t deal with him now.

“Y/N?” It sounded like he was out of breath once he arrived at the bedroom where you were.

“Y/N? please don’t do this.” His eyes were wide open.

“What choice do I have? You don’t need me to ruin your career.”

“I don’t care about that; I care about you… I can’t live without you, please” He moved closer to take your hands into his. His eyes stared into yours, you could almost see his pain.

You let yourself fall into his arms, letting the tears flow “I love you, Yunho… I don’t wanna go.”

He held you close to him, running his hands through your hair “Then stay.”

*~Yeosang~*

“Hi, baby… I’ve missed you today.”

Yeosang had just come home from work. You greeted him with a big hug. He buried his head in your neck and you could feel him shifting some of his weight onto you.

“Are you okay, Yeo?”

You could hear him breath deeply. “Actually, no, I feel like shit… Remember how we were recording our new song today?”

“Yeah, the one you practiced really hard for.”

“Yeah that. And I totally messed it up… I couldn’t get this one melody right and they were all telling me how I was supposed to sing it, but I didn’t get it right, so I have to go back there tomorrow.”

The way he looked at you reminded you of a hurt puppy, your heart burst inside. So, you pulled him into a hug again. “I’m so sorry, Yeo, that must’ve felt horrible… but I think everyone has bad days sometimes.”

“But it’s made me really insecure of my singing now… I don’t know how I’ll shake that off…”

“It’s okay to doubt yourself sometimes Yeosang, but don’t forget that you’re a professional singer, you have a great voice, so many people love your voice, including me, and you will be able to nail it eventually, you just had an off day, and that’s totally okay… You know there’s probably days were even Beyonce can’t hit the right notes, so don’t worry too much.”

He chuckled a little at your remark and finally looked up at you again to press a kiss on your cheek. “Thank you, love.”

“Now relax and let me take your mind off that.”

…

“Yeosang, I’m sorry, they left me no choice but to leave…” The tears were streaming down your cheeks, you had given up on trying to hold them back a long time ago. Yeosang however, still hadn’t said a word since he came home to you packing your bags. He just stood in the doorframe to the bedroom.

“I’m not going to stand in the way of you and your career, I know how important it is to you, so I guess… I guess this is good-goodbye…” Your voice was dangerously unsteady.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” You tried to wipe your nose on the sleeves of your hoodie when he handed you a tissue.

Slowly he walked over to you and took you into his arms. You could feel his heartbeat.

“Please, don’t go now…” His voice was only a whisper. “Y/N… don’t you love me anymore?”

In between soft cries you managed to utter a response. “I do lo-love you… but is that enough?”

You looked up at him. You could tell he feared what was to come.

“It is enough for me… I love you so much Y/N, promise you won’t ever leave without talking to me first?”

“I promise” The kiss that followed tasted like salty tears, but it solidified the love you had for Yeosang.

*~San~*

“San, are you alright? You seem distant.”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine”

You two were having dinner at your favorite restaurant, but he hadn’t spoken much. Usually, he��d tell you how his day went, but not today.

“Are you sure?”

“Alright, no… I feel under pressure because I need to maintain my abs. Now that I’ve showed them, I feel like everyone expects me to be the muscular guy now… but you know that’s not natural for me.”

You felt for him. He worked so hard but now it was getting too much.

“San, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone… It’s fine if your abs are not visible all the time… You need to take care of yourself… mentally… and I love you with or without abs if that helps.”

He softly put his hand on yours. “It does help.”

…

His management knew you two had been dating for only a few months, but it was getting serious. And they disregarded that. Being forced to breakup never even entered your mind, so it came as quite the shock to you when Mr. Kim, Ateez’ manager, revealed that you indeed had to break up with San.

At home you were halfheartedly putting your clothes in suitcases, but it felt surreal. Like a nightmare.

You had gotten so used to living with San and to think that it was all over now, because you needed to protect his career made your eyes fill with tears.

When the first tear hit the floor, you heard the door open. San stood next to you just a moment later. He himself had red swollen eyes, you assumed he had been crying too.

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about leaving me?”

“What choice do we have?” Your tears threatened to spill again.

“I-I don’t know right now, Y/N, but I’ll figure something- we will figure something out, please don’t do this right now, I can’t have you leave me, please.” The more he spoke, the faster and the more panicked his tone got, his eyes opened wide. His hands gripped your arms on each side. You assumed it took a lot out of him not to shake you.

“San, I don’t think that’s a- a possibility anymore… Mr. Kim, he sounded so serious…”

Suddenly he let go of you and took a step back. “Do you- do you want to go?”

You didn’t know what you wanted anymore. It was late and you were drained. Apparently, you hesitated a little too long for San’s liking because he turned around, headed for the door.

“No, San, don’t leave, please, I don’t-” But he was already out the door.

Had you not felt broken-down, you might have followed him out the door, but not like this. You collapsed to your knees and let the tears wash the little composure that was left, away.

*~Mingi~*

“Wow, Y/N, you look gorgeous.”

Mingi entered your shared bedroom while you were putting on some makeup.

“Thanks, baby”

He walked behind you to look at the mirror. A few moments passed when you realized he was staring at his own reflection.

“What are you thinking?”

He took a deep breath before answering. “I’m wondering if my face is handsome enough.”

That was it, you weren’t having him doubting himself. You turned to look straight into his eyes. “Listen to me, your face is so unusually handsome, I’m still amazed whenever I look at you… your eyes are so warm, they’re my favorite feature of yours… also your face is doing a pretty good job at keeping your eyes, nose and lips in place, so you really shouldn’t complain” You had hoped a little humor would take his mind off his insecurity.

He chuckled. “That’s why we’re in a relationship, you always talk me out of bad moments… thank you baby.”

…

Mingi was already home when you got there. For a while you just looked at each other, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Hi…”

“Y/N, I didn’t know they want us to break up, I’m sorry, I’m going to talk to them.”

You couldn’t help but hug him. He was your safe place. “I don’t want us to breakup, Mingi… I can’t lose you” The thought of not having him in your life drew tears in your eyes, it was too painful.

“Shh shh, you’re not going to lose me… I won’t let that happen.” He tried to calm you down by caressing your hair. “We’ll find a way” He whispered, more to himself than to you.

*~Wooyoung~*

It was very early in the morning. Wooyoung was already getting dressed while you were having trouble to get out of bed.

“Babe, do you think my thighs are too big? I feel like my jeans are getting tighter…”

Once you opened your eyes you saw Wooyoung trying to squeeze his fabulous thighs into some jeans, he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

You slowly got out of bed, not taking your eyes off him.

“Clothes can always be altered… and I love your thighs… they’re really… hot” You blushed a little.

“Is that so?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and kissed you.

…

Why did you have so many clothes? All the tears blurred your vision and whenever you put five shirts in your suitcase another ten were behind that, it was frustrating.

You tried to focus on the simple task of packing, trying hard not to think about the whole situation. You couldn’t believe they expected you to leave Wooyoung. You loved him, and he loved you. And that was supposed to not matter at all?

When you were done, you just sat on the bed. You were worn-out from crying so much.

You didn’t even hear him enter the apartment. Suddenly Wooyoung stood in front of you in the bedroom.

“I came as soon as I heard… I’m sorry babe… you don’t deserve all this shit.” He helped you stand up and took you into his arms.

“I’m just tired, Woo.”

His response was to hold you closer to his chest. “I know… we can go to bed.”

A few minutes later you were lying in his arm about to drift off to sleep, leaving your troubles behind.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I just have one question.”

“What is it?”

You could hear him inhale deeply.

“Would you- Are you considering leaving me?”

You didn’t think he’d be thinking about that. “Wooyoung, I love you; I will never leave you… I thought you knew that…”

He pressed a short kiss in your hair. “I just needed to hear that… I love you so much, little one.”

*~Jongho~*

“Baby, do you think my butt is too big?”

You were just about to leave for work when you saw him standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom.

“Hu- wh-what?” You took a few steps towards him to give his booty a little slap.

“Jong, booties can never be too big” You smirked at him. “I love your cute little butt… and I love you… so stop being insecure about it” You pressed a kiss on his cheek. He blushed.

…

After your meeting with a KQ executive, you couldn’t think straight. They told you, you needed to leave Jongho as soon as possible because of his career.

Somehow you made it back home where you collapsed into your tears. After a few minutes you mustered up enough courage to pack your bags.

You left the apartment with two suitcases dragging behind you. You had almost made it to the end of the street when you saw him running towards you. “Y/N wait!”

When he finally stood in front of you, he was quite out of breath. Looking at him drew more tears into your eyes. You had trouble holding them back “Jongho, we don’t have a choice, I need to do this, I can’t keep hurting you more.”

“No, please, I love you, this is hurting me more than my career ever could… please don’t leave me, we’ll find a way to fix this.”

He held one of your hands in his two big hands, his eyes opened wide.

You really weren’t sure if you could hide your relationship from his agency and the fans. You were so unsure of the whole situation, but you knew you loved him.

After a few moments of silence, you kissed him with all your passion.

“I do love you Jong, but this is going to be really hard, so I need you to help me when I doubt myself, when I doubt us.”

“I will, I won’t let you go again.”

323 notes · View notes

ultimately-mediocre · 4 years

Note

hewwo, could you please write fluff for uhhhhhh nagito ig? idk i just want to make a request :) maybe a date at the fair or smth?

ty for sending in a request! and I’m always a sucker for Nagito so ty for that too hfhfhf I did end up diverging a bit from the date idea so lemme know if you’d like me to try again! Hope ya like it!

*Note: this is probably a bit canon divergent as it involves the 4th island but Nagito hasn’t yet received the monokuma files. Or you can just imagine it takes place in the Island Mode if you prefer :)

———

Nagito x Reader Fluff -

Your feet hit the ground faster than your mind could keep up with. You needed to get to Nagito’s cottage as fast as possible, the idea of wasting time made your stomach churn.

He was supposed to have met you at Nezumi Castle nearly an hour ago now. The two of you were planning on exploring the new island together, but he had never shown.

You didn’t want to think about why he hadn’t shown up, especially not with the way things were on the island. The only thing you could do to keep those worries at bay was focus on the sound of your feet hitting the wooden deck beneath you, and silently pray that you wouldn’t hear an announcement ring out.

Knocking was the last thing on your mind as you finally reached his door, pushing it open as fast as you could manage. Your eyes darted around the room frantically. Everything in you was prepared to scream for help at the first sign of trouble, until you found him. And you finally let yourself stop.

He was sat down on the floor, his back against the wall near his bed, with his legs drawn in close to his chest. He looked like he’d been snapped out of a daze by the sound of the door slamming open. He stared up at you with startled eyes while you caught your breath in the doorway.

“Why are-“

“Thank god you’re alright.” You cut his question off, closing the door behind you as you moved to go sit in front of him.

“I was worried sick, I had no idea where you were, I had no idea if you were even....,” you trailed off for a moment, not wanting to admit the fears you had. Saying them made the weight of them too real.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He furrowed his brow slightly, looking a bit lost as to why you seemed so distressed.

“Why wouldn’t I be- oh,” realization hit him quickly, and his eyes shot over to the clock on the wall, he had lost track of time.

“I’m so sorry I... I didn’t mean to keep you waiting like that,” his apology came out frantically, like he was worried you’d leave before he could get it out.

“You shouldn’t have even come to check on me. For scum like me to leave someone like you waiting.... and after you were nice enough to give me your time in the first place? All because I was too wrapped up in my own self pity. How disgusting. I don’t-“

You cut him off again, not wanting to let him get too far into a self loathing spiral. You frowned slightly, and reached a hand up to place it on the side of his face, gently brushing aside the hair that had fallen into his eyes as you did so. Your thumb rubbed his cheek softly in an attempt to calm him.

“Not scum.” You stated simply, something you made point to remind him anytime he got like this.

He froze for a moment, consistently caught off guard by the affection, no matter how many times you had given it before.

He closed his eyes, allowing himself the privilege of leaning into your touch and smiling softly.

“....Not scum.” He repeated the affirmation back to you after a few seconds of hesitation.

It was small grounding technique the two of you had come to use often in these situations. It didn’t always work, but the reassurance was still nice.

“I am sorry though. I didn’t mean to make you worry.” He mumbled, opening his eyes to look at you again.

“It’s alright.” You used your hand to push the remaining hair out of his face, and moved to sit beside him with your back against the wall.

“Right now I’m more focused on whatever was stressing you out so much it made you lose track of time.”

Nagito sighed as you rested your head on top of his shoulder, looking down at you nervously. It was like he was worried if he told you, you’d pop out of existence.

“It’s just... things have been good lately. You’ve been so kind to me, even though I don’t deserve it. You make me... happy. And I can’t help but think about how lucky I am that you even care about someone like me.”

He paused for a moment. Seemingly unaware at how much you had begun to blush hearing him say that, as he hugged his knees closer to his chest.

“And knowing how lucky I am... it just makes me know how much it’s going to hurt when that luck turns. Even if I know eventually something beautiful will come of it... the idea of seeing you in such despair is.... unnerving.”

He met your eyes nervously, worried he was upsetting you.

You gave him a small nod, encouraging him to go on, so he did.

“When you asked me to come with you to the new island today I couldn’t help but think of all the ways it could go wrong.”

You noticed him picking at his nails nervously, and reached down to lace your fingers between his.

“I’m not going to leave you Nagito. I promise.”

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze to distract him as you spoke.

“Your luck isn’t the thing that’s making me stay with you. I’m here because I care about you. I made that choice myself, and I can handle whatever consequences that come because of it.”

He frowned a bit, and lowered his head to rest it on yours.

“But you don’t know that. The possibilities of something going wrong are endless. You shouldn’t have to suffer, not because of me. There’s nothing to be gained from that.”

You sighed softly, you knew he was trying. He didn’t mean to be contradictory, he just needed things to make sense. Nagito’s mind worked off of rationalizations, and you knew his lack of coherence when it came to you worried him.

You moved your head up, and he followed suit. The two of you shifted so you could look each other in the eyes.

“You’re right,” you started gently, “there are endless ways that things could go wrong. But that just means there’s endless ways that they could go right, too.”

You leaned your forehead against his as he thought.

“And I’ve decided that whichever cards we end up being dealt, I won’t regret having chosen you.”

He pressed his forehead further against yours, as if he was trying to share his thoughts with you that way.

“But what if-“

“No what if’s.” You shook your head slightly.

“No hypotheticals. Not right now. We’re safe right now. We can be happy right now. And there’s a chance we always will be.”

He furrowed his brow, trying his best to understand how you could be so casual about this.

He had expected you to be more upset. He had expected to be the one trying to comfort you, though he didn’t expect to be good at it.

You moved to hold his face with both of your hands, and rubbed your thumbs gently over his cheeks once again.

“Don’t worry too much Nagito.”

You pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead.

“Just remember how good things can be. Just have hope.”

He smiled at your words, and lifted his head to kiss your forehead in return.

“Of course.” He said simply, before gently pulling you onto his lap and into a tight hug.

#nagito x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #komaeda x reader #Nagito imagine #nagito komaeda imagines #nagito komaeda #dr x reader #sdr2 x reader #sdr2 imagines #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #Nagito oneshot #aaaaa I didn’t proofread at all so! hope it’s good!#ultmdj my post #requests from friends tag

432 notes · View notes

writersrealmbts · 3 years

Text

Cruise

Description: Part of the summer #btswritingbingo, hosted by @bangtanwritingbingo! For the Boating prompt. A summer cruise as a translator for world-famous band BTS: what could go wrong? WELL, the zombie apocalypse. In the middle of the ocean, are you safe? Or is there danger lurking in the deep?

Warnings: Mentions of death, violence (especially after the third content break), mild language? (I can’t remember if there’s language or not but I’ll tag it)

Posted: 06/11/2021

Tags: Zombie apocalypse au, Yoongi x reader

Angst?: 8,342 words

A/N: Oh look, another zombie au.

The engine was idling.

The radio was on, and everyone was listening to the broadcast in silence. The horror was slowly growing in your stomach.

“The country is overrun, we’re broadcasting from a locked room, and we aren’t certain how much longer we can hold out…how much longer we’ll be safe. We’ve had news from several other countries reporting the same conditions. They’re mindless, react to movement…don’t like bright lights…most active starting at dusk all the way through dawn. Don’t let them injure you. They hid the mutagen in vitamins and supplements. Whatever you do…don’t ingest anything from Biogene International.”

You swallowed hard, hugging yourself as background sounds of other voices and banging echoed through the radio

“Oh God, they’ve found us,” The radio announcer murmured. “I guess this is it. If you’re isolated from infestations, I suggest you stay isolated. Cut off the heads. And enjoy this last song by Andy Lange. God save us all.”

The radio started playing ‘Not Sure Yet’, and you just listened to it as your heart broke.

They finally ruined the world.

And you weren’t with your friends and family when it happened.

You were with your stupid ex-boyfriend that you’d just broken up with, the staff of the ship that hired you as an extra translator for the last group—a kpop group and their staff that were filming a vacation show of some sort.

And you’d have to be born under a mountain of rocks to not know that the kpop group was BTS, and in any other situation you’d be excited about helping them as a semi-casual fan of theirs.

But right now you really hated them, and their choice of this ship that employed your ex-boyfriend—even if you’d been the one to get him that job.

“So,” The spoken-of devil murmured, coming to stand next to you. “Sounds like the world is actually ending.”

You took a deep breath, because everyone could hear, and were subtly watching.

“Changes a lot of things doesn’t it?”

“Except one.”

“What?”

You turned to him. “I still would rather die alone than live my life with you.”

He sputtered, but you didn’t stay to listen to him try to argue with you, turning off the radio since it had turned to static and going to the other translator.

“Do they know?”

He nodded gravely. “They’re trying to check on their families.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” You told him, bowing slightly to the other staff and the boys before going over to some of the other crew. “How much food do we have?”

“Maybe enough for a week,” The cook, Lori, answered. “If I ration.”

“Do it. Same with water?”

“We should have two weeks, more if we cut back on showers, mopping, other excess water usage,” The first mate said, staring out at the horizon. “Hopefully by then we’ll know if there’s a safe port. The captain went to try and radio as many other ships as possible.”

“We should make sure none of that Biogene stuff is on the ship,” One of the engineers said.

The first mate nodded, quickly moving. “Everyone! We need to make sure that there are no Biogene products on this vessel. Please go check all of your pills and supplements, anything that could be pharmaceutical or…just check everything!”

You translated quickly, then went to check your own things. You didn’t have much that could be from that company, but you checked absolutely everything just to be sure.

Then you went to help the staff and band just in case.

They weren’t coming up with anything, so you headed for the captain’s cabin just to see if there were any more plans at that point.

Captain Cobden Alby was an elder man, who tended to become an Uncle, Brother, or Grandfather figure for anyone who’d let him look out for them. You knew him relatively well, because he’d looked out for you when you started working with his tourism company, helping foreigners book trips with him and accompanying them on trips to help out. You’d worked with him for the past three years, and he’d been kind enough to hire your then boyfriend when he needed a job—though you now understood his reluctance. You wished he’d been more reluctant.

“Well, y/n,” Cob sighed. “Guess this is a new chapter. Any ideas?”

“Islands will gain control more quickly, I think, and there are a couple uninhabited islands we might be able to land at if we get desperate. We have nets, so we can fish if we have to. And if we start getting stills set up now, we can provide ourselves with more water. Revert to basic survival, I think.” You chewed your lip. “But if we’re going to use an uninhabited island, I think we should find one and stick around it, because people are going to try and escape by boat and they might bring it with them. The likelihood of the messages and warnings reaching everyone is slim.”

He sighed and nodded. “Our passengers?”

“Scared. But everyone is checking for the products to dispose of them, as you know, and they’re trying to contact their families back in Korea.”

“Have you tried your family?”

You stared out at the water. “I’m afraid to.”

He nodded again, looking grim. “I’ve heard from a couple other ships. We’re going to have issues with food at some point, so the island idea might be good. Maybe we can work with the other ships as long as they stay uninfected to build a sort of safe-haven?”

“Maybe,” You agreed. “We’ll be breaking laws if we land on some of the islands though. Or fish near them. They are wildlife refuges right now.”

“Hon, I don’t think that’s as big of an issue as of yesterday,” Lori said, shutting the door. “We can respect the wildlife. It would only be temporary, right? I mean, things have to stabilize sometime, and I think the islands should stabilize more quickly.”

You didn’t have very high hopes for the islands stabilizing, unless they were able to quickly regulate who came in and out of the populace of Hawaii. But people were creative and there were thousands of boats and planes in existence.

“Alright, so we’re going to go near the closest uninhabited, and weigh anchor, just for safety. But we’re not going to do anything on the island or any fishing until absolutely necessary. We’ll get some water stills set up, and start rationing the food. Try to preserve some fruits, Lori.”

She nodded. “You got it, Captain. But you better get someone else on those stills. Not my division, you know.”

“I’ll get our engineer on it. Dobby will need to be distracted anyway. Y/n, you should go tell our passengers the plan for now.”

“Right. First, I want a thank you.”

“For?”

“Convincing you to invest in some backup solar power for the ship to run things like the radios.” You paused at the door. “How long can the engines run?”

“I made sure we had enough to last us a couple of months, and I’ve got us going slow to reduce consumption. But we’ll have to start thinking about how to move once we run out, which is why I think your idea for the islands is a good one. The ship would be a safety point, and we could use the life-boats to get back and forth. At least until we have some sort of relief. And we might be able to go somewhere before we run out of gas. You never know. This might blow over quickly.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” You went out to check on the idols and their staff again.

They had gathered in the dining lounge, and everyone was double checking each other to make sure that there weren’t any Biogene products.

“Everyone, I’ve just finished talking to our captain, and he’s asked me to tell you our current course of action,” You started, gathering the idols and staff’s attention to explain things. “We’ve communicated with some other ships, but our current course is to head for an uninhabited island and keep to the coast of that. We have the supplies to fish, and our cook is currently working on preparing the food for rationing. Our top engineer is going to work on making sure we have a constant source of drinkable water, but for now we’re reducing our water usage. We’re scanning the radio frequencies to try and find another source of information for what’s going on out in the world, but right now it’s very quiet. We ask for your cooperation as we continue to approach these problems calmly and rationally, and your patience as we try to figure things out.”

“Is food an issue?” Seokjin asked.

You shook your head. “Not at the moment, we’re just trying to make sure it lasts as long as possible, especially our fruits and vegetables. Anything in the kitchen that we can regrow here on the ship, we will attempt to do so. The ship was stocked for at least a hundred passengers, plus the crew, and since we don’t even reach sixty with the passengers and crew combined, we should be able to hold out for a while, we’re just trying to make our food last as long as possible, which is why we will likely be utilizing the fishing nets, so we can eat and still prepare for the future. Because we have had warning, we have time to prepare for the worst, but we are still hoping for the best. We are not giving way to fear. At the moment, all we’re asking is that you remain calm and patient with us.”

That seemed to be agreeable for everyone, so you bowed a bit and then went to check in with the other translator and manager to find out what you could do to help.

Yoongi intercepted you. “Hey, sorry, I know you’re busy.”

“It’s fine, how can I help you?”

“Um, actually, I was going to ask if there was anything we could do to help? It’d be…hard to just ignore the situation.”

“I understand, unfortunately, at this moment, we’re not even certain what we need to get done. When we do, I will let you know if there is any way for you to help. For now, we have solar power that you can continue to use for charging your phones, just in case you get a call from your families, and we can power the lights. Any extra batteries, try to save them.”

He nodded. “Okay. Shouldn’t they turn of the air conditioning then?”

You shook your head. “That would be inviting trouble. People get less rational when they overly warm or cool. Turning it off would reduce morale.”

He considered it, then nodded. “Okay.”

You nodded as well, then moved on to talk to their managers.

You didn’t sleep that night, helping in the kitchen and mulling over different ideas to try for powering the boat. In theory, with the engineers’ help, you might be able to convert the engines to wind power, or at least move the boat using wind power, if you were careful enough. But where would you get the parts?

And theoretically, some of the fruits and veggies and other things could be regrown.

But what would you grow them in?

Lori had some sitting in a shallow tray of water to start sprouting, and some would continue to grow in just water, but others would need soil.

“Wake up, hon,” Lori said gently, patting your back. “Cap’n wants you. Something on the radio he wants you to hear.”

You rubbed your eyes as you forced yourself up. “How long was I…?”

“An hour,” She said in a scolding tone, giving you a look of disapproval. “A young thing like you needs regular sleep. I could have done that in the morning.”

You shrugged. “My mind wouldn’t shut off. You were awake. Like you said, I’m younger.”

“You tried calling your family?”

You shook your head. If they hadn’t tried to contact you, then there would be no point in trying to contact them. Either the call wouldn’t go through, or there was no one to make the call. Or they just weren’t able to call because they had no means or it was too dangerous. Any way you looked at it, it was safer to allow them to try and contact you. They knew you were on a ship, and your father studied epidemiology, so he would know that the ship would either go down quickly or not at all, barring a few statistical outliers.

Your father always called you a statistical outlier.

“Here, take this up with you, find a spot where it won’t get knocked over that gets some sun and some shade. Okay?”

You nodded, taking the tray up with you.

“Y/n,” Yoongi called, waving.

You nodded your greeting to him and the others, trying to pinpoint a good spot for it, finally finding it on a table that was bolted to the wall.

“Is this what we’re regrowing?”

You jumped a bit, turning to the boys with a hand over your heart. “Um, yes. One of the trays, anyway. We’ve got more down there, but they aren’t full yet so…this is the first one to come up for sunlight.”

“Cool,” Taehyung whispered.

Yoongi looked it over. “It…doesn’t look like much.”

You sighed. “I know. But like I said, if all goes well, these should regrow and we’ll just start the process over again. But I’ve been summoned.”

“Summoned?”

“Y/N to the Bridge, Y/N, please report to the bridge.”

You pointed up at the speakers.

“Oh, and maybe bring one of the representatives with you.”

You sighed. “Um, know where your managers are?”

They all shook their heads.

“I could come,” Yoongi offered.

You considered for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, only to save time though, I’m not going to be the one to get in trouble—got it?”

He nodded, gesturing for you to lead the way.

Cob glanced up when you came in. “You’ll love this. Hey, Johnny, I got my person here, mind repeating that now?”

As Johnny started retelling his tale, you slowly processed and translated for Yoongi.

“They were near one of the islands of Hawaii, and sometime in the night they started hearing noises against the hull of the ship…” You paused, horrified. “The creatures…they can survive in the water, and swim. He lost three people when some of the creatures managed to climb aboard.”

Yoongi looked just as grim. “So we’re not safe, even on a ship away from shore?”

You didn’t know the answer to that. “He says he’s going to see how far away from shore they’re able to follow him. That will help us determine how safe we may or may not be.”

Cob thanked Johnny, then turned to the two of you. “Well, what do you think? Do we tell the others of this possibility, or keep it quiet?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that either. There were pros and cons for both sides. But there were more cons for—

“We don’t tell them,” Yoongi said firmly.

You met his gaze and nodded, translating. “It would just incite panic. We don’t tell them until we know that it is a possibility, and even then, we wait until we’ve calculated when they could reach us.”

Yoongi nodded his agreement.

Cob sighed. “Right. You’re right. I just….”

“Take a break. That’s what Jones is for, so you can take breaks. They’re most active between dusk and dawn, right? Then for now, we just slowly make our way to the proximity of an island, Jones can do that.”

He slowly nodded. “Yeah, he’s on his way, just wanted to try his brother one more time.”

You nodded, then signaled for Yoongi to head for the door. “I’m checking back in half an hour and if you’re still here, I’m kicking heads.”

Cob snorted, but didn’t respond further.

Yoongi sighed outside, leaning against the railing. “This is really bad.”

“Really, really bad,” You agreed, leaning next to him. “You okay to keep this from your bandmates?”

He nodded. “I’ll just say that he asked for a representative agreement from our party that he should head for the nearest uninhabited island, as a formality, obviously.”

“Sounds good. And I was there as a translator.”

“What name would you give these creatures?”

“Based on description? The only word I can think of is in English.”

“And?”

“Zombies,” You offered, giving him an apologetic look.

But he nodded. “That’s what we were saying last night. Jungkook said it first, I think we were all afraid of saying it, but he likes watching those kinds of movies, so it wasn’t surprising that he named it first.”

“But watching movies about it isn’t exactly preparation for the real thing,” You whispered, staring out at the ocean. You usually loved going out on trips like this, even if you were just a translator. This time, though….

“Part of me wishes we’d never come on this trip, but part of me is glad that we did.”

“I understand that,” You whispered. “There are a lot of things that I wish. There are a lot of regrets I could have about this.”

“Y/n!”

You closed your eyes. “Speaking of regrets.”

Your ex came over, half-glaring at Yoongi. “This guy bugging you?”

“No, but you are,” You replied, rolling your eyes and pushing away from the railing, walking toward the stairs. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay—”

“Well, I am. There’s no need for you to check on me. I’m doing just fine. Please, don’t check on me again. You do your job and I will do mine,” You snapped, turning to glare at him. “I told you, I have no regrets breaking up with you, and even if I knew the future, I would do it again, and probably sooner.”

“Whoa, no need to be so hostile babe!”

“‘Babe’?” You sneered, resisting the urge to shove him over your shoulder and down the flight of stairs. “You never have, and never will be allowed to call me ‘Babe’.”

“Chill out!”

Yoongi pushed past him and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down the stairs after him while rambling in rapid korean about it being dangerous to fight on stairs and ‘that’s how people get murdered’ and ‘unless that was your plan, which I would vouch for you, but I’m not sure who would believe it’ with an added ‘besides, there are a few witnesses’.

Damn was that hot.

No.

Wait.

Yes.

No. No, no. No, no, no.

He was someone you were working for, he wasn’t allowed to be hot.

And his hand definitely didn’t feel strong and sinewy and attractive.

“Don’t walk away when we’re talking!”

Your hold on Yoongi’s hand tightened.

“Ignore him, come with me. Our security team will block him,” Yoongi said, not looking back. “We have a head start, unless he starts running after us. Why did you break up with him? I mean, I get it, but what was the main reason?”

“Cheating, threatening, trying to emotionally manipulate me,” You listed, doing your best not to look back.

“Figures.”

You could see that the heading of the boat was changing, even as you and Yoongi made your way down to where the other boys and their staff were waiting.

“Block the guy following us,” Yoongi called to the security team as both of you passed by them. “He’s letting the panic get to him.”

The security team easily blocked your ex, and Yoongi led you straight to the poolside.

Namjoon came over quickly. “Any news?”

“Nothing new. Just needed a formal agreement to their plan from someone in our party.”

Jungkook dropped onto a seat nearby. “Any new information about the zombies?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Same as before, I think.”

Jungkook tilted his head. “And what is it that we do know?”

“The mutagen makes people into crazed killers, who don’t like bright lights and can only be stopped by cutting off their heads. Strong mutants that can only be stopped by cutting off their heads, and appear to be decaying. I think the mutagen might stimulate muscle growth while suppressing the nervous system. If I’m understanding things correctly, anyway.” You hesitantly sat down, wondering if that would be okay.

“I don’t know exactly what that means,” Jungkook replied, looking a little lost but curious.

“Well, we know that they’re significantly stronger, but their response to injuries is non-existent. Our nervous system is responsible for sending signals to the brain,” You explained, still thinking it through yourself. “Because it isn’t functioning the way it’s supposed to, maybe the pupils aren’t contracting, or something which makes them more sensitive to light.” But that still didn’t explain how they could survive in the water like they did.

“That makes sense,” Yoongi agreed. “I mean, for me, not knowing that much about the human body.”

“Same, but I remember some things, enough to try and puzzle it out, I guess,” You replied, shrugging a bit and looking around. “I should see if there’s anything I can do.”

“Sleep,” Yoongi said. “You should sleep. You look exhausted. I’ll walk you to your cabin so that jerk can’t ambush you.”

“I don’t want you to go out of your way—”

“It’s fine. You’re our designated liaison between the crew and us. It’s important that you’re safe so that we can continue knowing what is going on without pestering the crew.”

That reasoning was fair, and you appreciated it.

But also, you could see it causing issues.

“Come on, I want to make sure you at least go into your room. You should sleep, you look exhausted, and we know that the zombies aren’t going to attack while it’s this sunny out.”

You squeaked slightly as he pulled you up and after him.

But you didn’t fight him on it.

“Which way is your room?”

You quietly gave him directions, following until he reached your door and then tugging lightly on his hand to get his attention before he kept going. “This is it.”

He glanced over the door and nodded. “Right. Okay. Try to sleep, okay? We’re pretty far away from any major population so it should take a while for any zombies in the water to reach us, if they even can. We know they can go some distance, but not how far that distance is. So, rest. We’re going to have to be more alert at night anyway.”

You nodded. “You try to rest too. It’s easier to lie when you’re well-rested.”

He looked a bit grim at that. “Right. Good point. Good thing I’ve always been one to rest when possible.”

You unlocked your door and started in, stopping when he gently caught your upper arm.

“Hey, thank you, again, for everything you’re doing. I know you probably feel guilty because you sold us this package and now we’re all here, but you have no idea how grateful we were to have a ship like this essentially to ourselves.”

You shrugged. “You were booking in the off-season. We were lucky anyone was looking for a ship to commandeer.”

He smiled. “Whatever you say. Sleep well, y/n.”

You watched him walk away for a while, then slowly closed the door, once more pushing down thoughts of how attractive your client was.

———

The first zombie crawled onto the ship during a storm.

You had been eating with all of the guests, looked out the window and did a double-take. “Dobby! Come here.”

Dobby, the head engineer, politely excused himself and came over to join you at the window. “What is it?”

You pointed. “Stern, crawling over the railing.”

He squinted as he tried to see, flinching as lightning flashed—but gasping a bit as he spotted the zombie.

“Everyone is accounted for, right?”

“Right. Okay. Show-time, I guess. Bernie! Clyde! Time to get the lights on and try and decapitate a creature!”

You kept scanning the ship to check for anything else. “Someone tell the captain!”

“Yes, miss,” Clyde called.

Yoongi joined you, looking out. “Guess we know how long it takes for a zombie to swim to us.”

“Yup. Seven days. But it looks weaker than I expected. Maybe it is physically tiring?” You folded your arms, wincing as the floodlights turned on.

It was hideous. It looked like a human, but the skin looked like it had been boiling, and the eyes were strange—the irises almost black, and far too large, to easily noticeable from the distance. It’s jaw seemed unhinged, the mouth hanging open and not moving at all as a guttural screech emanated from it.

“No wonder people are so terrified,” Yoongi whispered.

“I’d like to wake up now,” Hoseok whispered behind you.

“Let’s get to safety, everyone,” You said softly. “Head down into the hallway. Just like we practiced.”

The soft noises of activity soon followed, everyone hearing you in their horrified silence, and moving to act as you had all practiced in the evacuation drills that had started four days ago. There were about eight different contingencies and several ranks of command.

Yoongi’s hand slid around yours, fingers locking around your fingers, and he squeezed your hand slightly. “Assuming it’s contagious. How long do you think we can hold out against the majority of the population of the world being zombified?”

“I think we’re lucky if we last a month like this,” You replied quietly. “We have little fortification, a few sporadic ships that may or may not be able to provide us with help, and no signs of any government being able to assist those who have survived. We’re in a warmer climate, which probably isn’t helping, and we have no idea if this contagion can spread to or through animals.”

“And no way of finding out except through evidence.”

“Essentially,” You whispered, looking around the deck and checking the positions of the crew as they carefully surrounded the zombie to try and dispatch it—the storm not exactly helping matters. “Come on, Dobby.”

You both fell quiet as you watched the crew carefully, and successfully, dispatch the zombie, both breathing sighs of relief.

“The storm should let up soon,” Yoongi murmured.

You nodded, still watching the crew members to make sure they made it to safety.

A few minutes later the all-clear signal sounded over the P.A. system.

Yoongi tugged your hand lightly. “Come on. I need a break from everyone.”

“Then, go, I’ll cover for you.”

“Nah, I want you to come with me. You need a break from everyone’s expectations.” He squeezed your hand, and gently tugged you along.

“But, why do you want me with you?” You asked.

He huffed. “Because I do.”

“Okay,” You replied, still confused.

He led you to his cabin (which was one of the best) and locked the door. “So they don’t come barging in. They do that sometimes.”

You nodded, looking around the cabin casually, even though you knew what they looked like and had cleaned these rooms on more than one occasion.

“We were actually worried at first, because Hoseok gets seasick, but he’s being doing well. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’re on a ship.”

“And then a storm hits and you remember all of those movies and true stories about shipwrecks?”

He chuckled lightly. “Yeah. I don’t think I could face them all right now, especially since they’ll be figuring out that zombies can reach us out here. Let them think what they want about us not being around. Our video crew has been filming for posterity, and it’s exhausting. Who’s going to care about how we spent our days on this ship?”

“Well, if we survive, meaning the human race as a whole, I imagine one day they may use it to make a film about you,” You joked, watching the rain pelt the windows.

“You too.”

“Why would they care about an extra translator? No, I’d be cut out and replaced with a super-secret girlfriend love interest, who obviously is terrified and you would save her from the zombies, because the truth and accuracy are inconsequential, and what’s important is the story.”

“Not that you care,” He teased.

“No, never, why would I care. Like I said, I make for a boring story,” You waved it away. “Besides, their movie would probably have a better ending than what reality will give us.”

“Maybe not,” He whispered, also looking outside. “You’re looking at the worse situation, right?”

“Probably.”

“So, best situation is we’re able to survive. We get through this. We set up defenses and we help other people to defend themselves and join us in fighting against these zombies, and…yes, the world will be different, but it will still be here. I mean, there are people in all sorts of remote places in the world, and we hope they’ve been warned, but most of all, they’re there. They may be safe. And maybe some of the defenses of the different countries are still standing. Military bases, forts, bunkers…we have to believe that there is still hope out there. We just…don’t know how to gauge how much hope there is.”

You pulled out your phone, noticing that you still had a signal. Noticing that you had a notification. “We need to get you back to the other boys.”

“What?”

“Come on. We’re going to talk to your staff and get you set up for a live on YouTube.”

“You don’t really think that’s still—”

“I do.”

“Wait,” He pulled you to a stop and turned you toward him. “Explain.”

“You have over 50 million subscribers, and are one of the top boybands in the world. You go live, you might be able to help us figure out how many people are still out there. It might connect you guys back to your family. To the family of the staff. We might be able to get help with making our boat defensible, or we might be able to meet up with a naval vessel that has been unaffected. It’s a long shot, but any sort of chance is a chance we should take, right?”

His eyes widened, and he looked troubled, but he nodded. “Okay. Alright. But you should join us in the video as a proper translator.”

“No, you’ll be fine, we can write out a message for Namjoon to read or something. We can plan things out, what you guys say and all of that. If there are other people out there, members of army, maybe they could use a familiar face.”

He still held you in place. “Okay. Let me change.”

You nodded. “I’ll wait outside.”

He nodded, but didn’t let go. “Hey, y/n?”

“Yes?”

He smiled softly. “If we were destined to get stuck on this cruise ship, I’m glad destiny chose you to be here too.”

Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you felt too warm all over and you spluttered something out and darted out the door as your brain went into a complete meltdown.

“Playboy!” You mind screamed.

“Honeyboy!” Your fangirl screamed.

“BREATHE!” Your lungs shouted as you wheezed and slid down the wall of the hallway.

He came out a few minutes later, and looked at you slightly confused. “Um, why are you sitting on the floor? Did I take that long?”

“Nah, I’m just, you know, meditating,” You refused to meet his eyes because if you did you would start your freakout all over again. Stupid fangirl. It was the zombie apocalypse and all your brain was telling you was that he was glad you were there and he was looking at you and that he kept getting you alone and talking with you and….

And oh no. Oh no no.

Did he like you?

Zombies. Focus on the zombies.

He was holding your hand again.

Apparently, he’d messaged the other boys and they were already gathered and the staff were there setting things up, and you guessed the translator or Namjoon had told some of the crew what they were doing, because they were helping set up. And they were doing V-Live and YouTube at the same time.

You stayed behind the cameras with a small whiteboard to help when they got stuck and to give them further things to say in English to try and help.

You considered them having at least half a million views encouraging, but you could tell that even the BTS staff were disconcerted at the small number.

Eventually the boys were mostly just talking to continue it and reassure anyone that may be watching that for the moment they were safe, and that they hoped that everyone else was safe as well. That they hoped this would pass soon.

They talked about the food, Jungkook and Taehyung belted out a few bars of different songs at intervals, Hoseok did his best to be bright and hopeful, Seokjin and Jimin jokingly flirted with the camera, Namjoon made faces and cracked a joke or two, and Yoongi talked about the future. Yoongi talked about someday looking back on this, just as we look back, and being able to think of it as a historical event that the world conquered.

They had over four million viewers when they ran out of things to say and decided to end it.

“So, again, these videos are going to be posted as soon as possible, and we hope we can meet up with and help those who may be in similar situations, or maybe those who are trapped can get help through this. Even if we just brought a moment of happiness, we will find fulfillment in that. We love you, and hope to see you all again.”

Jungkook and Jimin were crying shortly after the cameras were off.

Hoseok hugged onto them, which prompted Taehyung to hug them as well.

Seokjin tugged the other two into their impromptu group hug.

You set aside the whiteboard and headed outside, the rain finally gone. It was lighter than before, and the sun was trying to peek through again. Not quite successful yet, but every here and there you could spot a beam of sunlight breaking through.

The waves were still pretty intense, but not as bad as they could have been given the storm.

And there were gulls.

Which meant the boat was close enough to a land mass that the birds could fly out.

You hurried up to the bridge, not bothering to ask permission. “How far are we from land?”

“Well, we’ve slowed down and drifted slightly off course, which may be a good thing, since that creature crawled aboard, but,” Cob gestured to the maps he was using. “According to radar and such, we should be able to see the island in about half an hour.”

“But if the zombie came from there, we could be in trouble.”

He grunted.

You sighed, staring out at the turbulent waters. “The island could only be so big, though, which means that if they did come from there, there couldn’t have been too many people there to begin with. Right?”

“Unless it came from one of the ships we were going to be meeting up with.”

“Are we going to die?”

“Not if I have any say in it.”

“Okay. Then we’ll circle around, do our best to fortify and defend the ship, and hope for the best.” You bit your lip. “Right?”

Cob placed an arm around your shoulders. “Take heart, lass. Do something fun, would you? It’s not the end of the world yet, and there’s plenty of daylight to be had. Why don’t you see if that cat-boy wants to go to the bush-whacked deck and splash some paint around. You can take the others there some other time, but he seems to help you lighten up.”

You were a little busy trying not to die from Cob calling Yoongi a cat-boy. “Yoongi. His name is Yoongi.”

“Right. Couldn’t recall. Lots of names to remember. But he reminded me of a cat. Not in a bad way—”

“I’m going to go paint in the bushwhack deck. Don’t expect anything pretty.”

“I don’t,” He laughed happily.

You weren’t sure you wanted to try and find Yoongi, so you resolved to go change into clothes you could paint in first.

“Hey.”

You jumped, squeaked, and lashed out—nearly missing Yoongi.

He looked at you with wide eyes, just sort of blinking while you processed everything that just happened.

“Hi. Sorry. Hi.” You covered your heart to make sure it was still inside of you.

“Where you off to?”

“Um, you know the deck that’s off-limits?”

He nodded, looking a little wary.

“That’s because it’s under renovation. So, the crew goes there to vent and get away from everyone else. So, I’m going to change into clothes that I don’t mind getting paint on, and I’m going to go have fun splashing paint on everything.”

“Ah.”

“Would you like to come with me?”

He glanced over to where the others were still gathered, contemplating it. “Just me.”

“You can tell them to sneak down at a later time.”

He nodded slowly, then more vigorously. “Okay. I’ll meet you down there in ten, and tell them to come down in an hour or something?”

“That works.” You smiled a bit. “See you there.”

He nodded again, leaned in and kissed your cheek, and then walked back toward the others.

Your brain short-circuited as you hurried to your room to change and go down to the deck to pull out the paint and brushes.

Yoongi didn’t say anything as he joined you, simply helped move the paints into the room you wanted to paint in. It was one of the rooms with windows, so it had some natural light. But it also still had a bed in it, so you had to cover that with the plastic tarps.

But Yoongi stopped you. “You rushed up to talk to the captain. What scared you?”

You shrugged slightly. “The seagulls.”

His eyebrows drew together. “Birds scare you?”

“The fact that they can only go so far from land without dying does,” You elaborated. “I just wanted to see if it was a fluke from a storm.”

“And?”

“We’re nearing the island. It will be visible in about an hour at the speed we’re going, which is the slowest speed possible.”

He nodded. “So the zombie may have come from there.”

“Possibly,” You whispered.

He swore, closing his eyes as he pulled you into a hug.

You froze for a moment, then relaxed into the hug, wrapping your arms around him as well.

“You wouldn’t be some insignificant side character, y/n,” He whispered. “You’d be the main character.”

“Yeah right,” You choked out.

He held you tighter. “You would. You definitely would. That would be the only way the movie would have any plot.”

He drew back, resting a hand on your cheek. “I would love to be your romantic interest in the movie too.”

“We’re facing the end of humanity.”

“Which is why it’s important,” He answered easily. “Which is why I want to tell you that I was interested in you from the day we met you on the docks. You’re intelligent, beautiful, and strong. Stronger than me, stronger than most people on this ship. Do you object to me being interested in you? The world has gone to hell, people won’t need a boyband when this is over. They’ll need farmers, builders, engineers, and families.”

“Families,” You repeated quietly.

He nodded, taking your hands. “Families. I can never leave the other boys, they’re my family, especially if my actual relatives….”

“I understand.”

“But…maybe we can live somewhere together. Near each other, but separated.”

“You understand I used to be an Army?” You double-checked.

He grinned, laughing. “Yeah. I knew it when you laughed at one of the jokes. Usually only army’s understand it. I think it’s sort of fitting.”

“I’ve got a concussion and I’m having a weird dream,” You said, closing your eyes because that was the only logical explanation.

Except he kissed you.

And dang was he a good kisser.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!”

You jumped, turning toward your fuming ex-boyfriend. “Oh my God, go away!”

“Take your hands off of my girl!” He bellowed at Yoongi.

YOongi frowned and pulled you closer. “What is he holding?”

You glanced down and realized it was some sort of pill bottle. “Oh my God…tell me those aren’t from—”

“It’s all a hoax, you’re doing this to try and torment me, right? I’ll prove my love for you is stronger than anything.”

“Don’t! Please don’t!” You started toward him, but it was too late.

You watched in horror as he downed several pills.

“There, see! I’m fine! It’s all a hoax so that these terrorists can take over!”

You choked a little. “You need to get those out of your system—now! Even if they don’t turn you, that’s enough to overdose!”

“I told you! I’m fine!” He yelled, but his voice had already started changing.

“We need to get out of here before he changes,” Yoongi whispered. “Windows?”

“Only if you want to go swimming,” You replied. “Grab the chair and throw it at him.”

“Uh….”

“Do it!” You ordered, hurrying to a paint can.

Your ex made an ungodly noise as the chair hit him and you were quick to follow, swinging the full paint can at his head with as much velocity as you could muster.

Yoongi grabbed your hand and both of you started sprinting away. “What do we do? If he goes up, he could run into any number of people?”

“We have to take care of it before he can fully change. We need a way to cut off his head.”

“I don’t suppose he’d hold still while we used a saw?”

“Probably not,” You answered, looking around as the two of you ran. Finally you spotted something useful. “Break in case of emergencies, right?”

Your ex made that ungodly screeching noise again, and his footsteps were unnaturally fast as they beat the ground behind you and Yoongi.

Yoongi hurried ahead and broke open the case with something he must have picked up, grabbing the ax.

You stopped to throw a piece of furniture in the zombie’s path, hoping it would slow him down or trip him up or anything that might give you the advantage.

The two of you darted upstairs after doing your best to block the door.

Then you took the ax. “Sound the alarm.”

He grabbed the handle of the ax. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Leading him away from the crowd. We don’t have time to debate—”

He took it and started running. “Sound the alarm. He’s focused on me.”

You looked after him in horror, then quickly started running toward the nearest place you could trigger an alarm, ducking into a room so that the zombie wouldn’t see you, holding your breath.

Finally, you could hear it going after Yoongi.

You signaled the bridge then hurried after them, looking for anything that would help along the way.

Only to see Yoongi barely holding the zombie off, even in the bright sunlight.

You went barreling into it, all while your mind screamed at you and tried to tell you to stop.

Or maybe that was Yoongi.

But it gave Yoongi the space and time to swing the ax, catching the zombie’s neck and knocking it back.

You grabbed a lifebuoy and pushed it over his head, trapping his arms. “Finish him!”

And Yoongi did, though you both stared in horror at the by-product of your battle.

You met his gaze, swallowing hard. “Is this a dream?”

He reached out and pulled you away from the body. “We need to wash the blood off. Come on.”

You were shaking all over, so it was a miracle you managed to walk without tripping.

Dobby and the others hosed both of you down, making sure the water sprayed straight off the deck, then went to clean things while the Bangtan staff brought both of you towels.

“How did that get onto the ship in broad daylight?” Cob asked, hurrying up.

You looked up at him. “It was Charlie.”

“Charlie let it get on the ship?”

“No,” You answered, confused. “That thing…was Charlie. He had pills. Pills from Biogene.”

“You should have let me throw him overboard,” He muttered, petting your head, and then physically maneuvering Yoongi to check him over. “Good. You look unhurt. Wouldn’t want to cut your head off too.”

Yoongi was just a little stunned.

“Get them out of this wind!” Lori huffed, glaring at everyone and then ushering the two of you inside and out of the wind. “You need to get into dry clothing, come on. You, you’re one of his brothers?”

The boys all froze.

She gently shoved Yoongi toward them. “Make sure he gets changed and tuck him in. Marta! Get soup to both rooms.”

You didn’t object to her manhandling, just accepting it because Lori could take you if she put her mind to it, and she was right there ready to take you.

She bundled you in blankets after helping you change into dry clothing, scolded Marta for taking so long bringing the soup, and she force-fed you the soup.

When she had done that, you knew it was time to push a bit.

“I need to go talk to him,” You whispered, ignoring the trembling of your hands and the comforting call of your bed.

Lori looked you in the eye, evaluating you, then nodded. “Let me fix your hair.”

You nodded and let her work, not even checking her work before you and your blanket wrap were heading to Yoongi’s room.

His door was open, and the others were there, but he saw you, and he pushed himself up.

The others glanced over to see what had caught his attention, then seemed to all find an excuse to leave the two of you alone.

You wandered over to the bed as the boys left.

Yoongi looked up at you, eyes sad. “Are you okay?”

You shrugged, slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. “I now know that my instincts to survive are strong enough to kill someone that I know once they’ve turned. So…I’m dealing with that.”

He shuddered and reached out, pulling you down into his arms. “We did what was necessary for the survival of everyone else on this ship.”

“How many friends are we going to lose because of all of this?”

He shook his head. “Let’s not go there.”

You turned your head into his shoulder, fighting back the tears. You had to separate moments out by mere seconds: him kissing you, a moment, and then your ex turning into a zombie. There was a moment in there, that you wished you could imagine was longer.

His fingers stroked your hair lightly, then rested on your back. “But you know…I think we’re going to be just fine. We definitely need more weapons, but I think we’ll make it.”

“You know something I don’t?”

He nodded. “While we were downstairs, a naval vessel contacted the captain. They’re about a day away from us.”

“They know the zombies can swim?”

“They do. And they’ve checked all quarters and removed all Biogene products. They had a small issue at the beginning, but they’ve got it under control now. They’re going to meet with us, and we’re going to work together. They had some civilians that they rescued, and not enough beds, so we’ll take some of their civilians, and perhaps some of their soldiers.”

“And the government?”

“It’s…sort of functioning. Multiple ones are functioning on a…mild capacity. Enough to try and organize their military to reclaim lands.”

“So, where are we being escorted?”

“I don’t know. That’s about all the information that was received, I guess. I’m sure we’ll find out more when we meet up. But…it’s good, right? That we’re able to meet up with a naval vessel?”

You nodded. “As long as we don’t get overrun by zombies tonight.”

“What a bright side,” He chuckled, lightly stroking your back. “Y/n.”

You relaxed at the gentle tone in which he said your name.

“Whatever happens, let’s make it through this together? I don’t have too many skills that are usable outside of music, but I’ll do whatever it takes to take care of you?”

You peeked up at him. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure. I might be relying on you, though.”

You wrapped your arms around him. “That’s fine. I can handle that. If you’re okay with me falling apart now and than.”

“I’ll try and hold you together,” He replied, squeezing you. “We’ve got a couple hours of daylight. Want to nap?”

You pushed yourself fully onto the bed and let him help you under the covers. “Yeah, okay. I could sleep.”

He smiled, taking your hand as you both lay on your sides, facing one another. “Sweet dreams, y/n.”

“Sweet dreams,” You whispered back, still studying him with your eyes half-closed.

If you could make it to safety, then spending your life with him would be great. Better than great.

“Don’t let the zombies bite,” He murmured, smiling slightly at the teasing, and the way you swatted him.

Then you let the subtle sway of the ship rock you into sleep next to the man you just might love.

#yoongi #btswritingbingo #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #zombie!au #zombie au #zombie apocolypse au #bts fic #suga #namjoon #jungkook #seokjin #hoseok #jimin #taehyung

83 notes · View notes

animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Sorry, sorry for a second request! Do you think you could do Prompt 9 or 17 with Shisui Uchiha?

I recently got so many requests about him which is kind of funny since he was a minor character in Naruto. But he is an Uchiha so I guess that explains it.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, kidnapping, manipulation, sabotage, intimidation, Shisui revealing his dark side, threatening, mentioning of killing

Prompt 9: “Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?”

Would you kill for love? Would you be ready to go as far as hurting, threatening and manipulating everyone in your way just to be able to know that the person you were madly in love with would return the favor and love you back? And would you feel guilty if you did so? Or would you tell yourself that this was necessary? Would you even feel ashamed of it in the first place?

Maybe it was sometimes easier to be obvious and more naive, maybe being blind was sometimes a good thing. Because seeing things very clearly and remembering whatever he did took it's psycological impact on Shisui, a lot more than he let others see. He was sure that he had every time be lenient with people which had saved a lot of stupid asses from him. He had been careful with whatever he had done, be that stalking, killing or other things he had done due to his obsession.

Everything had been hidden under multiple layers of friendliness, charm and intelligence, a nice guy act he had put on so he wouldn't scare you away and make you suspect him. Shisui had been rather determined to make you fall naturally for him without having to rely on anything else besides his natural charm and maybe a few threats here and there to scare potential rivals away. He had worked hard for all of this, having invested months to bring you to confess your love to him and a few other years just to keep a strong relationship with you. There were imperfect times as well, but that was normal and both of you had always been able to discuss it out. Shisui had been proud of this, that both of you were able to always talk about things and find a solution.

But even the sweetest lie must find it's end and looking back on it, he should have seen it coming. Love was in the end the strongest yet most fragile thing in this world. It could either go through the toughest of times or shatter with the slightest breeze of the wind. Truly ironic. Only one small mistake had been all that was needed to expose him to you, though many things were still in the dark for you and Shisui was not willing to tell you detailed everything he had ever done.

And now you were afraid of him, something he had never wanted. Instead of a smile you wore a mask of horror, instead of leaning into his touch you flinched away, instead of warmth and trust there were pain and tears in your eyes.

It was distraughting to see for the Uchiha, to know that the person he had planned on loving and protecting with all he had was now afraid of him. Life didn't go always his way and it was something normal, but even he had been mad at no one in particular because he hadn't had someone to blame except the person who had tattled too much and they had gone silent already, Shisui had guaranteed this to happen. But now he had been left with the knowledge that you knew the truth, wanted to break up with him, wanted to let others know the truth about the golden boy who was together with Itachi one of the most talented Uchiha.

How could he ever let that happen? He had a reputation and didn't want to disappoint his friend, his Kage, his village. Much less could he imagine a life without you on his side, he had never felt that desperate before like when he had seen you in such a devastated state, crying and shouting at him to leave, to go away, to never show his face in front of you again.

What other choice had he left except not only having to use his Sharingan on you and to make sure that you wouldn't be under too much humans for a while? You would have ruined everything he had worked on. Shisui had quickly thought about all sorts of excuses to why you would be gone for a long time, why you wouldn't be able to see friends and family for a while anymore. He knew that this wouldn't work for forever, even he was not allmighty. But he had been able to buy more time to think of something better because controlling you with his Sharingan for the rest of his life was tiring even for him and he disliked the thought of forcing you to love him. It didn't feel right to do. Not like anything he had done so far had been right.

But recently there had been something that had unnerved him a lot, managing to make him question his sanity. The way he had suddenly turned so much more threatening and intimidating on you. The first time he had done it, it had been quite surprising and he had paused when he had noticed what he had done. Never before had he been forced to do this, using threats on you. But now he had to, a new and frightening thing for you to witness, making you understand just why he was so feared by rival villages. Shisui had a cold and rational side to him, only doing what was best for his village and his comrades.

But being so selfish over it was something you weren't used to see, Shisui always made sure to be fair. But what had you known about him anyways? All you had known was his one side, the other side of him had always been a mystery to you. And you knew why. Now you knew why.

"Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?"

Because no one wanted to be near a cold killer like him, someone who kept all his emotions hidden under a perfect poker face with the red eyes that reminded you of a demon gazing at you. There was nothing on his face, no sympathy, no guilt, no nothing. It was probably best to not let emotions get the better of him, not when he was being assigned to kill people without hesitation.

His words had a numbing effect on you, causing you to stop struggling instantly, instead slowly falling down to your knees, trying to get your trembling breath under control. You had troubles to stay the smallest bit calm, not when fear was pumping through every single cell of you and made you flinch by even the smallest noises.

You didn’t know what was even scarier. The words he had just spoken or the person who had said them. Or maybe it was even the fact that you didn’t even know anymore whether to believe he wouldn’t do it or he would. There might have been a time where you would have taken all of this as a joke, but as you felt his cold presence lingering right over you, the glimmering eyes feeling like attempting to drill through your head and the tight grip he had the moment he wrapped his fingers around your arm, the hands with which he had killed and hurt others, made you doubt that he wouldn’t do it.

Still though, you wanted to play with your luck. Maybe you would be able to calm him a bit down and make something more human appear on his face.

Maybe.

“You wouldn’t.”, you stated with a more firm voice than expected, looking him daringly in his eyes. The glimmer of hope in you must have been still there inside of you.

You saw him quirking his eyebrow slightly when being met with the sudden courage of yours despite the fact that you were still shaking like a mice in front of it’s predator.

“What makes you feel so confident?”

“I might not have realized what you’ve been up to. But I’ve known and loved you long enough that you wouldn’t hurt those you cherish and love.”, you replied, continuing to endure his Sharingan despite the knowledge that he might trap you in a genjutsu at any moment.

He stared at you for a while, scanning you up and down in an observing way.

“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you. You do not know what I am capable off.”

This was discouraging because you couldn’t tell if you had managed to hit a nerve of his or not, Shisui was an excellent actor. He didn’t give anything away.

“That’s true. I don’t know what you’re capable off. But I know that you have your honor and duty as well. So you wouldn’t hurt an innocent citizen, not if you are loyal to the Leaf. Because if you do, you are a terrible person. If you really love me, you won’t hurt me. Otherwise I am just an ignorant fool who still believes in love. In that case I would like you to do what you just threatened me you would do so I can stop seeing you as my love, but as the manipulative and cruel person you are. I won’t sugarcoat anything anymore. However, be aware that I will hate you for eternity afterwards and would rather die than acting like nothing ever happened.”

Your tone sounded warning and he knew that you had just threatened him just as much as he had done. He was a bit surprised that you had still the guts to talk to him like this, but you had always been someone who often managed to feel brave in a tricky situation.

You still had faith in him despite everything he had done? Shisui felt his inner conflict growing more and more, feelings clashing with each other and he maybe felt himself moving his poker face the tiniest bit, though it was too short for you to be sure you had really seen it.

Why had this to happen to you two? You could have been a happy couple. But it was too late to regret this. The past was the past. And Shisui had to focus on the present and the future.

“You think too highly of me.”, he told you, bending down so he didn’t have to stare down at you like this.

“You do not know what I had to do already in my life (y/n). You have no idea what I could do. I don’t want to hurt you, I really don’t want to hurt you. However, I won’t take the risk of you potentially ruining everything I’ve worked on so hard. So do not test me and my patience.”

For a short moment he looked a bit exhausted, though this moment flashed by rather quickly and he went back to his emotionless face.

You felt bitterness stirring up inside of you as well as the feeling of losing hope and disappointment. Did he really mean this?

You jerked away when he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, looking like he wanted to say something else.

“I don’t have a choice (y/n). You left me no other options. I do not expect you to understand why I do what I do. But at the very least please understand that I never wanted this to happen. I still love you.”

The slightest bit of distraught, marking all his actions slightly, specifically the sudden desperate tightening of his grip.

“I’m sorry. But I have to be this way.”

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere shisui #yandere shisui uchiha

85 notes · View notes

bvidzsoo · 3 years

Text

Poison (Part 4)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, blood, mild violence

Word count: 18, 095

Summary: It seemed like Sana only brought more complications to your relationship with Mingyu and now you weren’t even sure where you stood with him. Finals hanging around were only adding on to your stress and your bad habit of building up your emotions finally blew up in your face, causing mayhem.

Taglist: @chal-kagyu @taeyongandfree @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans

A/N: Part 4 is here everyone! Get buckled up because this one is a rollercoaster of feelings, but you know, life isn’t just rainbows and sunshine, sometimes it gets dark and rains too. If you would like to be added onto the taglist, just click here and leave a message. I hope you enjoy this part!

A day turned into two days; two days turned into three. Mingyu was busy with this sudden mysterious business everyone around me knew about, but refused to tell me; and I was busy studying for my finals with Seungcheol. Irene was nice enough to take one or two extra shifts to cover for my absence when I stayed up all night reading and reading for my thesis, and Vernon dropped by every day to drag me out for lunch to make sure I ate something at least once a day. I was beyond busy, and so was my brain overthinking every single little thing when it came to Mingyu. Yesterday, I noticed even the slight peachy smell combined with his cologne and it was enough to throw me off for the whole day. I was on edge every time I was around him and I hated it. I hated jealousy. This isn’t who I was before, with my other partners I couldn’t care less, but even just the thought of Mingyu with any other woman was enough to send me into an uncontrollable fury. It was a horrible feeling and it was bubbling up more and more inside of me, but I ignored it. For various reasons. First of all, I didn’t want to seem like a controlling, jealous girlfriend who jumps at other girls’ throats for daring to breathe in their boyfriend’s direction. Secondly, my pride wouldn’t let me tell Mingyu just yet, because deep down, I knew I was overreacting and that there was nothing going on between Sana and him. It was pure business, and I really understand that, but the way Sana acted around him; and he let her act like that; made my blood boil in my most peaceful moments. I’d randomly remember it in the middle of class and Seungcheol would give me a weird look, asking if I was okay, and I’d just nod wordlessly while trying to distract myself. Sometimes while on the phone with my parents, Sana wrapping her hand on Mingyu’s shoulder possessively would flash before my eyes, and my mother would point out the stress lacing my voice and I’d make a pathetic excuse that the cause were my finals hanging around. Other times, I’d be taking lunch with Vernon and Sana’s annoying voice would ring through my ears and I’d slam my spoon on the table too hard, creating a small commotion, but at least Vernon never questioned it. Vernon seemed to understand me without me even saying anything, and he never pushed me over the edge with his excessive questioning, like Seungcheol does. Even Irene noticed how tense my shoulders would be every day at 3:15, knowing well Mingyu was about to pass in front of the bookstore; which he actually stopped doing so often. My heart would jump in my throat every time I got a message form Mingyu and I’d have to stop myself from answering back aggressively. I even stopped texting him, afraid that I’d overshare how I was feeling without realizing. And that led to one or two things, which ended up with a pissed Mingyu and me screaming at him at 10 pm.

It started out as a normal night. I was sitting at the table in the kitchen, notebooks scattered around and coffee placed aside for another all-nighter. Seungcheol was on a last-minute notice business Jeonghan needed him to be at, so he skipped studying with me. I asked Mingyu to let Seungcheol off for two weeks, so that he can study for his finals, but Mingyu’s only answer was that ‘he’ll manage’. I was reading through my notes when the front door was unlocked, and of course, Mingyu walked in like this was his apartment. I was already in a bad mood, thoughts of how he acted towards me when Sana showed up swarm around in my head, and him showing up uninvited really ticked me off the wrong way.

“Y/N—”

“I’m studying!” I snapped from the kitchen, not bothering to welcome him like I usually would do. There was shuffling in the hallway and in came Mingyu, his shoes discarded at the door. His long coat clung to his body and he rubbed his hands together, beaming down at me.

“Where’s my kiss—”

“I said, I’m studying.” I said through gritted teeth, trying to calm myself down. I wasn’t being fair to Mingyu by not talking about what was bothering me, but I felt childish. I thought he’d laugh at me and even tease me about what was worrying me so much. I didn’t want to tell him, but it just made me feel worse.

“It takes only about a second to kiss me—”

“Mingyu!” I exclaimed, slamming my notebook on the table, “Can you leave me alone?!”

His eyebrows rose as I glared at him, hands shaking from anger but also fatigue. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and I gulped, almost spilling my frustrations.

“I don’t see you all day and then you blow up on me as if I did something wrong,” He said with a grimace, voice turning cold, “Thanks, my day was also amazing.”

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, trying to stay rational, “I have finals next week, I need to study, my future depends on these marks, Mingyu. You can’t come by everyday unannounced and bother me! I can’t go on daily dates and act carefree when I have responsibilities to take care of! And you—you just—”

“I what?” Mingyu snapped, uncrossing his arms and storming inside the kitchen, “Is it so wrong I want to be with my girlfriend because I miss her? Because I think of her non-stop when I’m not with her? Because I like her so much, I want to be next to her all the time?”

“Mingyu—”

“No, Y/N,” He snapped, eyebrows furrowing and I stood up, regretting my outburst, “I have responsibilities too! A lot, actually, problems that could kill lives if I don’t take the right choices! I am responsible of twelve people’s lives and other innocent civilians that get involved with us! Do you really think I have all the time in the world to run around you? Be with you always?”

I huffed and threw my hands in the air, “Then why did you do it for the past six months? Why were you there daily for me, when I made it crystal clear I wanted nothing to do with you!? I didn’t ask you to do it.”

Mingyu stared at me, jaw clenched, and I felt my hands shake more, “Why offer me so much attention when—when—business is more important in the end? When a—woman, any kind of woman—is more important than I am?”

I didn’t even realize my voice raised louder and louder, until I was done shouting the question. And I felt pathetic, I saw it in his eyes too, how Mingyu frowned and looked at me like I grew another head. I wanted to cry right there and then, pinch myself for letting that slip.

“What woman, Y/N?” He whispered, lips in a sneer, “Why are you not answering my texts—no, why did you stop texting me?”

I shrugged not trusting my voice and looked away, clenching and unclenching my hands into fists, “Because I’m busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Studying.”

There was silence and I didn’t have the nerve to look at Mingyu, instead, I stared at the mug of coffee on the table. A loud, malicious, giggle bubbled out of Mingyu’s lips and my temper flared once again, “No, you are busy hanging out with Vernon for lunch dates. You are busy having fun with Irene at the bookstore, gossiping. You have fun with Seungcheol on your movie nights. And you have fun ignoring me and then blaming it all on me. I’m done playing this push and pull game of yours, Y/N, I’m sick of it all.”

“That’s not what this is about!” I was quick to defend myself, feeling sick by his words. They weren’t true, I really was busy studying, the others were just trying to distract me from losing myself and becoming overly stressed, “I study day and night, my finals are coming up! Okay, why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know, that’s a good question, Y/N,” Mingyu scoffed and turned around, jaw clenched, “Why don’t you ponder on it and then answer it yourself?”

I gulped and watched as he walked out into the hallway, jaw clenching more, and I panicked. I didn’t want him to leave pissed and misunderstand the whole situation which I caused because I’m insecure and too stubborn to admit my jealousy.

“Mingyu—”

“Save it, okay?!” His voice raised and I flinched, staring into his blazing eyes when he turned around.

“If you leave through that door,” My voice got shaky as I pointed towards the front door, “I’m breaking up with you.”

The silence was deafening and I could hear my heart thumping loudly, as if it was in my ears. My skin tingled and when Mingyu stared back at me blankly, it made me more anxious. Why did I even say that? I didn’t want to break up with him, fuck, he’s probably one of the best things that happened to me in this life.

“Whatever,” He muttered and swiftly pulled on his shoes, his expression so cold, I didn’t recognize the man standing in front of me. I’ve never seen him so passive before, not even the night of our first encounter. He always showed some sort of emotions, seeing him like this was scarier than seeing him angry. I knew he was about to leave and I couldn’t stop the few tears from falling and I bit my lower lip, gulping down my pride for once.

“I’m so stressed, Mingyu, I can’t even think straight anymore, okay?!” I was shouting once again, but my voice was shaking and raw, “I tried to—not be like this, but I can’t when—Sana just shows up and you don’t even acknowledge me anymore! You let her be all over you and I’m just standing there like a fucking idiot! Like I’m not even your girlfriend but your maid! And these finals—I have to pass them, okay? You can’t interrupt me all the time, these are important, I really can’t—”

I choked on air, finally running out of energy to scream at him. I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore, I just needed him to stay and hug me. I needed Seungcheol; him to tell me everything would be alright. Mingyu watched me stunned, his anger still lingering, but he was more shocked than anything else.

“Sana, she’s not—”

“Whatever.” I snapped, wiping my tears away, “I have to study. Leave or stay, I don’t care.”

I turned to walk back to the kitchen but Mingyu held my wrist, “You have to talk to me, I’m not a mind reader, sugar.”

“Yeah, I’m not either, so maybe next time warn me when you have a woman over that wants to fuck you right in front of me.” I snapped and pulled my wrist away harshly, ignoring Mingyu’s sigh.

“Sana is not—”

“Goodbye, Mingyu.” A groan came from the doorway and I downed my coffee in one go, running my hands through my hair.

“If you think you can break up with me like that, you are stupid.” I scoffed and turned to look at him, not caring that he could see the redness in my eyes.

“Suck my dick, Mingyu.” A wide smirk spread onto his lips and I looked away scowling, my blood boiling once again.

“Text me when you’ve calmed down, sugar.” I flipped him off and he was out of my apartment, slamming the door shut. I scoffed and bit my lower lip, clearing my throat and glancing at the clock. I’ll have to buy some Sugus tomorrow for the kids staying next door and apologize to their parents for being so loud; it was out of the norm; I was a quiet person.

Leaned against the counter, eyes wide open, I stared down at the white pages covered in letters and letters that seemed to not make any sense anymore. I clenched my jaw and focused harder, but I couldn’t even read the words anymore.

“Y/N,” I jumped when a soft hand gripped mine, “Can you please blink, you’re scaring me.”

“I thought staring down at my notes will help me memorize it all—” I let a cry fall from my lips, “It’s not working!”

Laughter bubbled up from Irene and I sighed, abandoning the thought of studying anything for the moment, “I can’t do this anymore!”

“I’m glad you finally realized!” Irene exclaimed and quickly slammed my notebook shut, pushing it away, “I thought I would have to wrestle you away.”

“No…” I muttered and took a seat behind the cashier, turning towards Irene, lips pulled in a tight line.

“What’s bothering you?” She asked softly, pushing up her glasses.

“Ah, I just—” I sighed and bit down on my lip, Irene didn’t know about me and Mingyu, “Just, you know, I had an argument with…Seungcheol? Yeah, it made me really sad and now I’m just pondering on it, I guess.”

“You should both apologize,” Irene said with a shrug and I hummed, “Communication is key, Y/N, you have to speak in order to solve your problems.”

I sighed and looked down at my hands, “I suck at communicating about my feelings.”

She placed another reassuring hand on my arm and I smiled at her, “He’ll come around, he always does, doesn’t he?”

Yeah, Mingyu comes around after he cools down. I apologized after my outburst and Mingyu showed up with chocolate cake, saying that it was the magical ingredient you needed after you got into a fight. I argued that it was the magical ingredient if you piss off your girlfriend when she’s on her period, but eventually had to agree with Mingyu, chocolate cake was a good way of making up. We both admitted to having been wrong, even though Mingyu really didn’t do anything. He tried to bring up Sana again, multiple times actually, but I refused to talk about it again. It doesn’t mean I still didn’t think about it all. The outburst didn’t help much, my beliefs stayed the same about the two, but at least I could close my eyes before sleeping without seeing the two all over each other behind my eyes.

The door opened, letting a cold gush of wind inside, and Irene was on her feet with a wide smile.

“Hi!” She squeaked out and I looked at her confused, turning my head. My eyebrows furrowed when I ended up looking at Jeonghan.

“Uh,” I narrowed my eyes at him, glancing at a smiling Irene, “Hi?”

“Good morning, ladies.” He said politely, sending a small wink at us, “I come with good news.”

“Uh—” I looked between Irene and Jeonghan, “You know…Irene?”

“Of course!” Irene exclaimed, throwing me a small glare, “Jeonghan really likes to read, he comes around every few days, right?”

Jeonghan and Irene shared a subtle look and I furrowed my eyebrows at them, “Weird.”

“Yeah, Y/N, in my free time, when my boss isn’t breathing down my neck, I really like to read.” Jeonghan threw me a knowing look and I grimaced, rolling my eyes, “And I live two blocks away.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, eyes widening.

“Yeah,” He threw me a smirk before looking back at Irene with a soft smile, “I like taking walks from time to time—”

“Motherfucker.” I snapped, palms balling into fists. That’s why Mingyu stopped coming by so frequently, Jeonghan was right here to look after me when he couldn’t, and I didn’t even realize that. Holy shit, Jeonghan has amazing stalking skills if I didn’t even realize!

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed in desperation, “Shut up!”

Jeonghan cleared his throat and looked at Irene with a charming grin, “So, I’m going clubbing with a few friends tomorrow…would you like to tag along?”

“Yes!” Irene didn’t miss a beat when she answered, eyes set on Jeonghan’s face, “Y/N is coming too! She’s been studying like crazy; she needs a little break.”

“Yeah…” I shook my head, “I’m not coming. I’m not exactly in the mood for—”

“My friend would appreciate if I brought more girls with us, he doesn’t take ‘no’ as an answer.” Jeonghan said playfully, but I understood the underlying message. This was Mingyu’s plan all along, that fucker. Irene threw us a confused glance before clearing her throat.

“Well, then, we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure, Vernon will pick you up girls,” Jeonghan winked at Irene and she blushed; I sighed, “I’m working beforehand, otherwise I would’ve picked you up.”

“Vernon Chwe?” Irene’s eyebrows rose in surprise as she glanced at me, “You know him?”

Jeonghan chuckled and leaned against the counter, “He’s a good friend of mine.”

“What a coincidence…” I muttered with a glare and Irene nodded, not bothering to look at me as Jeonghan seemed to lean closer in towards her.

“Nothing is a coincidence, Y/N.” He said with a shit eating grin and I glared at him, “See you, Irene.”

“See you!” Irene said breathless and followed Jeonghan with her eyes until he was outside the door. I scoffed and looked at her, not believing what I just found out. Just what other things did Mingyu not tell me? I slapped Irene’s arm to get her attention, and she glared at me.

“What?” She snapped and I rolled my eyes.

“You are a smart woman, please, stay away from Jeonghan.” I looked at her with a serious expression, not wishing a similar fate to mine for her. She was a sweet person; she didn’t need someone like Jeonghan to taint her.

“Don’t worry,” Irene giggled and turned around, walking away, “I only want to fuck him.”

“What!” I shrieked as Irene laughed loudly, disappearing between the rows of bookcases, “Are you serious—wait for me!”

And that’s how I ended up with Seungcheol, Irene, and Vernon in my apartment at seven in the afternoon, getting ready for the party. The boys were being loud in the living room; they were arguing five minutes ago who was the best team in Formula 1; while Irene and I worked quietly in my bed room, music filling the room. I asked her to straighten my hair for me and I helped her pull hers in a really tight, high pony-tail. We did our makeup and chatted about what our plans were for the upcoming spring break, our boss gave us a two week leave as he was going overseas for some conference. I attempted to sneakily study a little bit, but Irene noticed me taking glances at my notebook and she threw it in one of my drawers when I wasn’t looking. I shook my head at her but said nothing, she was right after all, I was stressing myself out even further. When we were ready, we quickly got dressed. Irene told me she would bring over a dress for me when I told her I didn’t have anything to wear for the party, and my jaw dropped to the floor when she threw the leather, black dress at me.

“You want me to wear this?” I exclaimed; eyes wide as I held the dress in my hands.

“Duh,” Irene said with a chuckle, not even glancing at me as she pulled on her black mini-dress which had a dangerously high cut at her right thigh. The long sleeves clung to her arms like a second skin and in a swift motion her high heel boots were on, and Irene was ready to leave.

“Stop standing there like a dummy,” She chuckled as she passed by me to get her phone, “We are supposed to leave in—”

“Y/N!” Seungcheol hollered from outside the bedroom door, knocking aggressively, “When are you done?”

“In five minutes!” Irene called back and I sighed, knowing I had no choice but to wear the dress now. I made a mental reminder to never trust Irene with picking a dress for me. Reluctantly, I pulled on the tight dress, groaning when it stopped mid-thigh.

“Why is it so short?!” I exclaimed, throwing daggers at Irene with my eyes when she giggled.

“Because you’re taller than I am!” I groaned and walked to the mirror, grimacing when I saw myself. The dress was off the shoulders and it clung to my whole body like a second skin. It had a belt at the waist that I tied tightly, and of course a zipper at the front, which was the only thing keeping the dress together. Irene grinned when she stopped beside me and patted my back.

“I knew this would look bomb on you,” I threw her a small glare and suddenly, her fingers gripped the zipper and pulled it down enough to expose the top of my breasts.

“What are you doing—” I shrieked and slapped her hand, trying to pull the zipper back up, but with a surprising force, Irene gripped my wrist and gave me a look.

“We are going clubbing, not to a grandmother convention.”

“This dress already is enough for clubbing! Why pull the zipper, Irene—”

“Silence!” She raised her hand, giving me a look when I opened my mouth to speak, “I won’t go if you don’t leave the zipper the way I did it!”

“You’re so mean.” I muttered with a pout and walked to my bed, picking up the red lipstick that I left there. I went back to the mirror and applied it on my lips, a grin appearing on them unintentionally. I looked really hot, cat-eyeliner looking amazing with this shade of lipstick. The more I looked at the dress too, the more I started to like it, but I would never let Irene know, I don’t want to see her shit-eating grin.

“Now…” I heard her mutter and when I turned around, she was bent down looking for something, “Where do you keep those leather heels you told me about…”

And then it clicked and my mouth fell open, “You!”

Irene glanced at me but continued looking wordlessly, the heels were resting by the wardrobe, “That’s why you picked this dress! Because I told you about my heels! I should have stayed silent—”

“Oh, quit whining!” Irene snapped, a victorious smirk on her lips as she held the heels in her hands and threw them in my direction, “Put them on, five minutes are almost up!”

I grumbled to myself as I pulled on the leather heels, coming mid-thigh, just below where the dress ended. The heels were sharp and tall, elongating my legs even more.

Irene squealed and threw me a mischievous smirk, “Everyone will want to fuck you tonight—”

“Irene!” I screamed, slapping her arm and making her hiss, “Stop saying stuff like that!”

I turned around, embarrassed, to grab my purse from the bed, ignoring the thoughts of Mingyu suddenly invading my mind. How will he react seeing me dressed like this? Meanwhile the red silk dress from the auction was definitely the look, this one is even better. This look, is my kind of look. It really brings out my best features and I feel really hot right now, I hope Mingyu will think the same. But not to the extent to ruin our secret…wait, who said Mingyu was even coming? No one, but by Jeonghan’s subtle words, I assumed Mingyu would show up too. After all, I can not imagine Mingyu not being there when his girlfriend is about to parade around a place infested with males. I just hope he doesn’t kill anyone who dares looking my way.

After turning off the music and shutting off the lights, Irene grabbed her bag, and we headed out of my bedroom. Vernon and Seungcheol were still in the living room, now having quieted down, speaking in hushed tones. I motioned for Irene that I will inform them that we are done and that we can leave. I walked carefully to create less sound, curious of why they were suddenly whispering.

“I’m not keen of mingling with the police.” Seungcheol’s voice was deep and low, as I peeked around the corner.

“That auction made us too susceptible, Mingyu knows what’s he doing—”

“Mingyu doesn’t know shit!” Seungcheol snapped harshly and Vernon sighed.

“I know you are his second-in-hand, but S.Coups, we wouldn’t be here if Mingyu didn’t pull all that shit years back—”

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL IS MINGYU’S SECOND-IN-HAND?!

“Don’t you see he stopped listening to me?”

“It’s not like that—”

“Vernon, ever since he met Y/N, he’s…just changed. He does things carelessly; he fucked up two raids, for fuck’s sake, two! And now mingles with the police? Take orders from Wonwoo—fucking Jeon Wonwoo; Vernon! I’m sick of it all, I just want to—”

“What are you doing—” I yelped when Irene showed up next to me making me stumble a bit forward. Vernon and Seungcheol turned abruptly, heads shooting in our direction. My eyes widened and I shook my head at Irene, asking her to stay quiet. They definitely realized I was eavesdropping and I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear any of that. Seungcheol is Mingyu’s second-in-hand? What’s so wrong about taking orders from Wonwoo? Why did Mingyu change after meeting me? And why is a mafia leader getting involved with the police, isn’t that pure suicide? My head became dizzy from all the wondering and I cleared my throat when I realized all eyes were on me.

“What? Oh yeah, we are done.” I offered a small smile to Vernon and Seungcheol. Both men nodded, but remained staring at Irene and I, “Uh…what?”

Vernon giggled but Seungcheol’s eyebrows furrowed more, “Go back to your room and change out of that—”

“Are you her father, Seungcheol?” Irene snapped, glaring at Seungcheol, “Shut up and come on!”

“You look awesome, both of you!” Vernon exclaimed as he passed by us to put on his shoes. Seungcheol ignored Irene and walked up to me, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I have nothing else to wear.” I said with a shrug and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Do you want me to go through your wardrobe real quick?” He raised his eyebrows and Irene scoffed, hooking her arm with mine.

“Sorry, we’ve got no time for that,” She flashed him a fake grin and pulled me out into the hallway, where Vernon was typing on his phone, “Jesus, you never told me Seungcheol was so protective.”

“Why do you think I chose him to be my best friend?” I asked with a chuckle and Cheol scoffed from behind me.

“Obviously not with the intent of also listening to me when I want to do something good for you.”

“Oh, come on, Cheol,” I pouted and let go of Irene to grip onto my best friend’s arm, “I always listen to you, and if I don’t, I always take those words as advice.”

“Advice that kills you?” He raised his eyebrows and I threw him a glare as I let go of him.

“I’m not talking about Mingyu, again.” Vernon and Irene’s heads turned toward us in curiosity.

“He’ll be there tonight though.” Vernon raised an eyebrow and I threw him a questioning look before patting Seungcheol’s cheek.

“I love you, but shut up, Cheol.” He scoffed but a small smile slipped onto his lips.

“I love you too—”

“Good!” Irene chimed in, opening the front door, “Now that we are done with our early evening confessions, can we go?”

“We really should, Seungkwan texted me, they are already on their way there.” Vernon said as we all left my apartment and I locked the door, holding Seungcheol’s hand as we headed for the elevator. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and I grinned at him, pulling the leather jacket tighter around me. The weather wasn’t exactly fit for leather wear.

I had no idea the whole SVT gang was coming to this underground party, so when four different flashy cars showed up in the parking lot, I was pretty surprised. Surprisingly, we arrived earlier as they got caught it traffic and we were waiting for the rest of the men inside Vernon’s car. It was cold outside and Irene and I weren’t dressed exactly appropriate for this weather, we didn’t want to catch a cold. Vernon got a text saying everyone was here, so we finally exited the warm car. Seungcheol was by my side instantly and I rolled my eyes when he intertwined his fingers with mine and threw a menacing glance to a guy passing by, who happened to look in our direction.

“Honestly, you have to stop doing that…” I trailed off with a look, making Seungcheol scoff.

“Right, I’m not gonna let guys ogle you the whole night—”

“I don’t think that’s how this works, Cheol.” I said with a laugh as we approached Mingyu’s Mercedes. Wonwoo was leaning against the car and Jihoon was by his side, talking about something.

“Seungcheol, Y/N!” Wonwoo exclaimed when he saw us and I offered him a small wave.

“Hi.” Jihoon gave us a nod and the three men did a handshake as I stood to the side. I looked around, searching for Mingyu, but I couldn’t see his tall frame anywhere. Irene was by Jeonghan’s side, giggling, and Vernon was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. I gave him a frown and he chuckled, making Seungkwan turn around with a frown. When his eyes fell on me, he gave me a glare and faced Vernon with a pout, making him burst out in laughter. I chuckled and turned back around, facing Mingyu’s car, eyes falling on the opened back door. Wonwoo held it with his hand as he typed away on his phone with his other; a leg was placed outside. My heart picked up and I looked at Seungcheol nervously, but he was busy muttering with Jihoon. Then, a hand gripped the edge of the door and out came Mingyu. Our eyes fell on each other and Mingyu’s jaw instantly clenched, making my heart beat faster. He wore leather pants, which hugged his long legs in all the perfect ways giving me a good view of his strong thighs; and he wore his leather jacket to match with his pants. I bit my lower lip, eyes running up and down his body, itching to go over and hug him tightly, to feel his body against mine. His curly hair was pushed back and the choker poking out from underneath his jacket made me gulp. Suddenly, Wonwoo cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

“You definitely didn’t miss the opportunity to dress up.” He said with a chuckle, glancing at Seungcheol, who happened to scoff.

“I’m never letting Irene dress her again.” He grumbled and I huffed, Jihoon started laughing loudly.

“Why not?” Jihoon asked once he calmed down, “She looks hot.”

I gulped and looked away from him flustered, watching Wonwoo grow amused as Mingyu slammed the door shut. I looked at him and he was glaring at an oblivious Jihoon.

“Irene picked your dress?” Mingyu finally spoke, eyes gazing at me intensely. I gave him a look before intertwining my fingers with Seungcheol’s again.

“Let’s go before he pisses me off.” I snapped and dragged Cheol with me, joining the other men that decided to enter the club. I felt Mingyu’s burning gaze on the back of my head and I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from joining his side. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I knew I couldn’t when everyone would see us. To them, I still hated Mingyu, and Mingyu was still chasing me without any successful results. It sucked having a secret relationship, but I wasn’t ready to let everyone know. When we joined the line to enter the club, Seungcheol let go of my hand to go join Joshua at the front. Irene was waiting at the back for me, pouting when I joined her.

“Where’s your prince, huh?” I teased her and she nodded to where Seungcheol was.

“He got whisked away by that Joshua guy, I think…”

“Yeah, that’s Joshua.” I said with a chuckle and Irene crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Well, I hope he’ll stop bothering Jeonghan for the rest of the night—” Irene muttered and quickly smiled when Jeonghan glanced back at her. I rolled my eyes and watched Jeonghan beacon her over.

“Okay, that’s my sign.” She said with a smirk and pushed her way to the front where Jeonghan was. I huffed and remained standing alone at the back of the line, searching for Vernon to go and join him. When my eyes fell on him and I was about to walk over, a big hand gave my ass a hard squeeze and I hissed, whirling around, ready to punch the person, but it was Mingyu. My anger faltered quickly, until I remembered anyone could see us.

“What are you doing!” I snapped and glanced around, but no one from SVT was paying attention to us.

“You’re wearing all leather?” Mingyu muttered, eyes running over my body once again, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“Yeah…” I muttered and didn’t step back when he closed the distance between us.

“Well fuck me,” He chuckled and pressed a hard kiss against my lips, making me whine, “Is this your way of getting revenge that I left that night?”

I rolled my eyes and raised my hand to wipe the red lipstick off his lower lip, “Don’t flatter yourself so much, Mingyu, if I really broke up with you that night, I wouldn’t be here.”

“You still think you can avoid me or ignore me?”

“So, what you are saying is that you’ll bother me for the rest of my life even if I end things with you?”

“You can’t end things with me, sugar,” His lips pulled up into a malicious smirk, “only death can do us apart.”

“Jesus,” I scoffed and stepped away, turning around to walk further inside the club, “I think this is the red-flag I’ve been waiting for.”

Mingyu’s smirk widened more and I threw him a glare as we reached the entrance. I went to take the money I placed in my pocket for the entrance fee, but Mingyu pulled out his wallet and threw a card at the guy selling the tickets. His eyes widened and he handed us two bracelets with a bow of his head, refusing to take my money when I tried to hand it to him confused.

“What was that?” I asked confused as we stepped inside the club, the music not quite loud as the party barely started and there weren’t many people around yet.

“Oh, that?” Mingyu asked cockily and I glared at him as I handed him the bracelet to put it on for me, “Nothing, just exerting my power onto others, of course.”

I huffed and smiled at him mockingly, “Don’t tell me literally everyone knows who the fuck you are.”

Mingyu raised his eyebrows and looked at me seriously, waiting for my reaction. When I realized he wouldn’t say anything else, realization dawned on me and my mouth fell open. He smirked again and I glared at him, ready to burst his cocky bubble.

“Well, to your information, if you showed me whatever the fuck you showed the guy, I still would have asked for money, because six months ago I had no fucking idea who you were, so…don’t flatter yourself so much, Kim Mingyu.”

“No, sugar,” He stepped closer, eyes fixating on mine, “That’s just who you are. Even if you knew me, you’d still not let me pass without paying—”

“You’re damn right…” I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “You with your God-complex, Jesus…”

Mingyu burst out laughing and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back again, my eyes following the movement. I wanted to run my hands through his hair too, but tonight I couldn’t.

“Y/N!” I sighed quietly as Seungcheol appeared at my side, watching me confused, “Why did you disappear?”

“Why did you leave me alone?” I fired back and he rolled his eyes, gripping my arms firmly.

“Joshua had something to say, you could have just walked with me—”

“Yeah, maybe if you told me!” I shrugged and Seungcheol threw me a small glare before turning towards Mingyu.

“And what do you want?” He snapped, raising his eyebrows.

“Ah, me?” Mingyu chuckled and raised his arms in the air as if he was surrendering, “Absolutely nothing…from you.”

Seungcheol’s glare returned as he started pulling me away from Mingyu and I giggled quietly, glancing back to see him following us.

“We booked a booth; you can leave your stuff there.” Seungcheol spoke as he led the way to the booth section, a sign saying only those could sit there who had booked one previously. I nodded wordlessly and noticed how Seungcheol abandoned his coat. He was wearing a sleeveless black tank-top with a high neck, it was tucked inside his high-waisted cream-colored loose trousers. And he comments about how I dressed, when he looks this hot.

We reached the booth and I scoffed as Seungcheol faced me, “Look at you scold me when you look like that!”

Seungcheol looked down at himself with a confused looked, Mingyu stopped next to me and took a quick lookover of the older male standing in front of us.

“I look…normal?” Seungcheol said finally confused, looking back at me.

“You look hot!” I exclaimed and people passing by glanced at me amused, Mingyu scoffed next to me. Seungcheol bit his lower lip piercing, trying to stop the smile from spreading onto his lips.

“Like…really fucking hot…” I emphasized it more and Mingyu scoffed louder, suddenly throwing his leather jacket off. Seungcheol and I looked at him questioningly but he ignored us and brushed past me, raising his chin high.

“What’s his problem.” Seungcheol muttered amused and I laughed, shrugging my shoulders.

“Maybe he’s jealous—”

“Please,” Seungcheol gave me a look, “Jealous of what? It’s not like you offered him sweet attention for the past six months—actually, I feel like you’ve gotten nicer to him since the auction.”

“I have?” I mused surprised, unzipping my leather jacket, “I don’t think I have; you’re just imagining it.”

“Am I?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows and I stared down at him, I was taller in my heels, as I took off the jacket.

“Will you seriously ruin my night by mentioning Mingyu every five seconds?” I raised my eyebrows at my best friend and he shook his head, taking my jacket.

“No, no…” He approached the booth and called out for Soonyoung to take them and hand the jackets behind him on the wall, “Wanna take some shots now or when the party starts?”

“Now—”

“Y/N!” Two different hands grabbed my arms on each side and I jumped, looking at Seokmin then at Chan.

“Hi, guys,” I giggled and Chan offered me a small wave.

“Did I just hear shots?” Seokmin asked with a wicked grin and I nodded my head slowly, glancing at Seungcheol, who didn’t look very amused.

“Want to join us?”

“Hell yeah!” Seokmin exclaimed excited and I laughed, wriggling an arm free to wave over Irene and Vernon.

“Irene! Vernon!” I called loudly, catching their attention, “We are getting shots!”

Irene was instantly on her feet, Jeonghan forgotten, as she basically ran up to us and Vernon quickly stood by Seungcheol’s side to join us.

“Okay, let’s go then…” I grinned and Seokmin gripped my arm again as him and Chan started pulling me towards the bar eagerly, making me giggle quietly. It was a bit hard to keep up with their eager pace in these heels, but I stayed quiet as the booth wasn’t very far from the bar. Irene, however, was basically running in her heels and she got to the bar first, already speaking fast to order.

“Someone is eager tonight…” Vernon muttered as we got to her side, he leaned against the bar.

“Eager to choke on some dick, you mean—” Seokmin and Vernon burst out laughing as I gave my best friend a nasty glare. Chan muttered something underneath his breath as he gave Seungcheol the stink eye too, letting go of my arm.

“At least I’m getting some dick tonight, Seungcheol, unlike you—” Irene smirked sweetly at Cheol, “Who will be playing police and hunting down every guy that dares to come close to Y/N, am I right Y/N?”

“Sounds pretty right.” I nodded with a hum and Seungcheol scoffed, turning around and grabbing a shot glass.

“Shut up and drink.” He snapped and we all laughed, stepping forward to grab a glass each. Seokmin still held onto my arm and I didn’t question him. We clanked our glasses together and emptied the glass, throats burning from the strong liquid. Suddenly, another round was placed on the table and we all looked at Irene.

“What? I told them I’m here with Kim Mingyu and apparently everything is on the house—so, I ordered five rounds!” She said excitedly, another glass in her hand already.

“Five rounds?” Chan exclaimed, grimacing as he hesitantly grabbed another glass.

“Dude,” Vernon grinned as he watched Chan amused, “You are so getting shit faced tonight!”

“You’re telling me?” Chan whined as we all grabbed our second rounds, “I didn’t eat anything before coming here.”

“Me neither.” Seungcheol groaned out after we downed our second shots. I shuddered as the liquid traveled down to my stomach, burning my body from the inside.

“What’s with Mingyu though,” Irene spoke up as our third round got filled, “Everyone looked scared shitless when I mentioned him—”

“We are regulars here.” Vernon quickly answered her, before anyone else could, “He gets in fights sometimes, and uh, he’s a big guy, you know—people don’t exactly—vibe with him always, you know?”

“Ah,” Irene pouted and handed me my third round of shot, “That makes sense.”

“It totally does.” Seokmin said with a very serious expression, making Irene give him a questioning look.

“Who are you again?” She asked as we raised our glasses and downed the shots, “I forgot your name.”

Chan laughed next to me and Seokmin glared at him as my body shuddered again from the foul taste.

“Seokmin.” The bright boy said sulkily next to me and I offered him a small smile.

“I don’t think five shots are smart, because I’m starting to get dizzy—”

“This is a bad idea,” Seungcheol agreed with me, but his fourth round was in his hand already, “But I mean…we’ve only got two rounds…”

“Fair point…” I muttered as we downed this and then the next one, groaning at the burning in our body. I ordered some Sprite to wash down the foul taste but it only helped partially. Seungcheol walked to my side and threw his arm over my shoulders, grinning at me. I chuckled and glanced at Seokmin questioningly as he held my arm still.

“Oh, this?” He grimaced and only gripped harder, “I stop feeling my legs when I drink alcohol, I really need to hold onto someone.”

“Wouldn’t it be smarter to hold onto Vernon, Chan or Seungcheol?” I raised my eyebrows as Chan approached Seokmin on his other side, “They are more powerful, you know…”

“But your skin is really soft…” Seokmin muttered to himself and Irene’s laughter was loud as Seungcheol glared at the man.

“Take him away.” He instructed Chan and the younger boy did as told, dragging away a pouting Seokmin. I laughed and pulled Vernon into my side, gazing out onto the dance floor. The club was finally getting filled, music turned up to a louder volume now, bass reverberating off the walls and making our chests feel like they thumped together.

“I hope you both dance with me!” I looked at my two friends with raised eyebrows and accusing eyes. Vernon grinned and Seungcheol sighed, giving me a look.

“Of course, we’ll dance with you, Y/N!” Vernon pushed off the bar and pulled us onto the dance floor, “Why did we even come clubbing for if not to dance?”

“Definitely not for a one-night stand!” Irene flashed Seungcheol sweet eyes as she brushed past us, headed for the booth to probably coerce Jeonghan on the dance floor as well. Vernon and I laughed as Seungcheol glared after Irene, arm leaving me. Vernon turned me around, hugged me into himself, and started shaking us around. I burst out laughing as I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he became more chaotic, totally ignoring the beat of the music.

“Stop!” I laughed as Seungcheol watched us with a glare, “I just had five shots, do you want me throw up on you?”

“Are you drunk already?” Vernon exclaimed alarmed and stepped back.

“No, but anyone would throw up if someone shook them around like that!” Seungcheol answered for me and I nodded with a shrug, Cheol wasn’t wrong. Vernon pouted and pretended to walk away from us, making Seungcheol and I roll our eyes as we intertwined our hands and stared moving to the upbeat song. Seungcheol started jumping around and I shook my head, as I watched Seungkwan surprised as he joined us. He threw me a small glare before facing Vernon and they moved around goofily, making me smile. The brotherhood these boys had was anything unlike I’ve seen before. In the six months I spent with them, I realized they were a big family before they were just a gang formed of thirteen members. They loved each other genuinely and supported each other when in need. Distracted by watching Vernon and Seungkwan, I almost failed to notice Seungcheol sneakily trying to grab the zipper of my dress.

“Are you trying to touch my boobs, Choi Seungcheol?!” I called out loudly, staring at him with my eyebrows raised. Seungcheol’s face drained of color and he shook his head violently, his grip leaving my hand, as he went to even shake his hands.

“No, no, no!” He exclaimed, panicked, “That zipper could be pulled higher, your boobs are kind of—”

“Spilling out?” Seungkwan intertwined, giving me a side glance, “That’s the charm of the dress, Seungcheol, let the woman have fun, Jesus…”

A big grin spread on my lips as I looked at Seungkwan, he had a scowl on his face but it wasn’t directed at me this time, and I felt grateful. He never really liked me, even though Vernon said he’d come around, Seungkwan never really did like Jihoon, Joshua and Minghao did. All three warmed up to me after I spent a little time with them, but Seungkwan was hellbent on always making fun of me and criticizing me. I didn’t understand why, but I convinced myself that was how Seungkwan just was. He showed his love like that, or at least I fed myself that lie to feel less worse whenever we met. His eyes fell on me and he threw me a small glare and I knew the little affection he showed towards me was gone and never spoken again of, so I stuck my tongue out at him and turned back to Seungcheol to shake my ass at him, knowing it’d piss him off. And it did, when I faced him, he was glaring at me and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.

“Five more rounds to make Seungcheol less tense and to get him to leave you alone?!” Vernon asked as he watched all three of us, eyes lighting up with mischief. I laughed and shook my head as Seungkwan took the offer.

“I’m good for now! Maybe later, but Seungcheol—” I threw my best friend a knowing smirk and he sighed, motioning for Vernon and Seungkwan to follow him to the bar. He loved drinking, especially if it was free, and so I knew he’d get drunk and I’d have to sleep over at his to make sure he didn’t get sick during the night.

Being left alone on the dance floor, I moved around to the beat subtly, turning to try and find our booth from here. Most guys have already dispersed around the club, only around four people remained in the booth, and when I saw Mingyu sitting there alone, I decided to approach him. I walked around people, pushed a few away, to be able to get out from the dance floor and the first thing I noticed were Jeonghan and Irene sitting at the edge of the booth, leaning over each other as they were talking about something.

“Y/N!” Irene exclaimed when I stopped next to them and Jeonghan gave me a smirk as a greeting, “I was looking for you!”

“You were?” I raised my eyebrows and Jeonghan chuckled, raising to his feet, “Didn’t seem like it to me!”

“She was!” Jeonghan said as he exited the booth, offering his hand for Irene, “Care to join us on the dance floor?”

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a few seconds!” Irene offered me a wide smile, disappearing with Jeonghan onto the dance floor. My eyes fell on Wonwoo and Mingyu, the only people sitting in the booth. Wonwoo was on his phone, sitting to the side, meanwhile Mingyu sat in the back, in the middle of the long sofa, legs spread wide and arms resting on the back of the sofa. He wore a white sleeveless shirt with green vine-like prints on it, and his choker was white as it sat around his neck tightly. I took in his form and gulped down the excess saliva, resting my arms on the table and leaning forward. Mingyu’s eyes instantly left my face and rested on my chest, jaw clenching, before he slowly dragged his eyes back up. We made eye contact and he licked his lips, hands clenching into fists. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one struggling at trying to stay away from him tonight, but I sure as hell was doing a better job at not showing it.

“Do you plan on sitting there all night?!” I asked loudly, Wonwoo snapped his head up at my voice alerted, “Just sit and watch?!”

Mingyu licked his lips again as his eyes fell back onto my breasts and he nodded, “I like the view from here!”

“You sure do,” I rolled my eyes, and stood up straight, “but I’m feeling lonely.”

“Someone is being careless tonight!” Mingyu’s lips spread in a smirk and I returned it.

“Who says I’m inviting you to dance with me? I’m asking you to join us!”

“Yeah, I’ll pass on that offer, sugar.” I huffed and my eyes landed on Wonwoo, who’s phone was placed away now.

“And you?” I raised my eyebrows at him, “Will you stay here all night next to Mingyu like a guard-dog?”

Wonwoo’s lips pulled up into an amused smile and he glanced at Mingyu, getting to his feet and adjusting his pants before he spoke up, “Of course not, I was just waiting for a hot chick to invite me to dance!”

“Wonwoo.” Mingyu’s growl was low, yet we both caught it and both Wonwoo and I burst out laughing as he exited the booth.

“Yeah, sorry, Mingyu, but I came here to have fun so…suit yourself!” Wonwoo winked at his friend and I took his extended hand, turning my back to Mingyu; I made sure to sway my hips more than I usually would do as Wonwoo led the way to the dance floor.

Time passed but the night was still young and I haven’t stopped dancing even for a second. I took three trips to the bar already, only doing three round shots this time, not exactly wanting to get drunk by the end of the party. I knew how to hold my liquor, I also knew when was the time for me to stop and right now I was right there, so instead of downing another round of shots like Irene and the guys were doing next to me, I instead drank from the Sprite I ordered. Soonyoung and Seokmin cheered loudly as they slammed their glasses against the bar, high-fiving each other for finishing the shots first and then they turned around and headed back to the dance floor. I laughed at them and turned towards Minghao when I felt him nudge me. He had a sour look on his face, eyebrows furrowed, and I offered him my Sprite to wash away the sour taste of his non-alcoholic drink with. He took it with a grateful nod and I looked towards Irene amused when she started cheering loudly. Her and Jeonghan have been drinking the whole time we’ve been here for, competing to see which one would get drunk first, and right now, both already were.

“That was my last shot of the night!” Jeonghan slurred, almost knocking over three other glasses as he slammed his down.

“You give up?!” Irene shouted with a grin.

“Unless you want to put me in a coma?!” I laughed at Jeonghan’s words and took the bottle of Sprite back from Minghao.

“I won then,” A smirk spread on Irene’s lips and she stepped closer to Jeonghan, holding his chin, “where’s my prize?”

“Right in front of your eyes.” Jeonghan smirked before his lips were on Irene’s and both Minghao and I turned away with a grimace on our faces.

“That was enough action for me tonight, I’m retreating!” He called with a tired voice, taking my Sprite bottle, “I’m stealing this, I hope you don’t mind!”

“I don’t, drive home safely!” I patted his shoulder; Minghao didn’t drink alcohol tonight; and Minghao gave me a small nod of goodbye.

“Take care of your drunk friend!” I nodded as he disappeared into the crowd of people. Seeing Jeonghan and Irene still making out, I sighed, and headed back onto the dance floor, eyes falling onto the booth to find Mingyu gone. He, himself, took a few trips to the bar during our time here, but I always kept my eyes on him and so did he with me. Not seeing him didn’t alert me very much, but I continued to look for him to make sure he was fine. He was a powerful and dangerous man after all, many people wanted to see him dead. Not seeing him at the bar and booth, I figured he’d gone to the restroom, so I ventured inside the dancing crowd but my eyes narrowed when it fell on Mingyu. Two females with short skirts, shorter than mine, clung onto his exposed arms and giggled at something Mingyu was saying. He was grinning down at them wickedly and my jaw clenched as I watched the suggestive way they continued gazing at him. I knew he was just doing his façade as the two of us basically weren’t a couple that others knew about, but as I turned down multiple men trying to hit on me, I expected the same behavior from him. Without thinking twice, the alcohol fueled my anger even more, I headed in their direction eyes set on them like a hawk. As the long, black haired girl raised her hand to place it against Mingyu’s chest, I caught it in a vice like grip. I didn’t even care anymore if someone from SVT saw me, I wanted their hands off my boyfriend.

“Having fun?” I shouted over the music, raising my eyebrows at the three people in front of me. The girl struggled to pull her hand away, but I squeezed it harder.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” The other one, who I wasn’t holding, took a demanding stance and laughter bubbled up from my lungs.

“Your hands on my boyfriend!” I stared the woman down with a death stare and when her lips pulled into a smirk, I thought I’d break the wrist of the woman I was holding. She yelped loudly and I released her arm, realizing I was hurting her, and she instantly stepped away from Mingyu.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“Who the fuck cares, Dahyun!” The other one still clinging to Mingyu provoked, “He never said he has a girlfriend!”

I was sure even my face got red and when I stepped forward, right hand curled into a fist, Mingyu stepped away from the woman and glared at her.

“Fuck off, both of you.” He snapped aggressively and both women scrambled away, not without the black haired one shooting daggers at me. I felt like I was breathing out fire as I watched them until they got sucked into the crowd, I didn’t even feel Mingyu approaching me. My eyes snapped at him when I felt firm hands gripping my hips tightly, trying to gain my attention.

“Calm down, sugar,” Mingyu’s voice remained soothing as he shouted over the music, “I wouldn’t have let them do anything! It would’ve been suspicious if I stayed in the booth all night watching you—”

“You let them touch you!” I snapped, still angrier than I normally would be, of course, due to the alcohol in my system, “I will break their fingers and yours too!”

Mingyu had the audacity to laugh in my face and squeeze my hips, pulling me closer to his body, his honey-like cologne invading my nostrils. My skin tingled and my heartbeat quickened, I wanted to touch him and feel him against me, kiss him. So, I leaned closer to him, lips almost on his, when he pulled away.

“Not here.” His voice was low but I heard it crystal clear, his eyes darkened as he watched my eyebrows furrow as I placed my hands on top of his.

“I can’t do this anymore!” I whined and desperately clung to his hands, “I want to feel you!”

Mingyu’s jaw clenched and he turned one of his hands, letting go of my hip, to intertwine our fingers, “Soon, okay?! We’ll make it look normal, pretend to go the restroom or something—but be patient!”

I sighed and nodded my head, eyes on his lips as I watched him talk, imagining the softness and the smokey taste they always carried around. Before I could answer him back verbally too, someone else grabbed my shoulder and I was ready to create a scene thinking it was Seungcheol, but when I looked to my right, it was actually Junhui. He had a smirk on his face and I watched him confused as he pushed me a bit forward.

“Come on, let’s go dance with Seungcheol!” He shouted over the music, not even sparing a glance at Mingyu, clearly uninterested in with whom I was. Mingyu’s grip turned dangerously tight and I hissed, squirming out of his grip due to the pain. I didn’t want to go with Jun, I wanted to stay with Mingyu, but I knew Jun would snitch to Seungcheol if I stayed here, so I shot my boyfriend an apologetic smile and let Jun lead me away and towards Seungcheol, Vernon, Irene, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan. Everyone was pretty tipsy, besides Irene and Jeonghan who were really drunk. They greeted us with grins when Jun and I stopped next to them and I waved at Seungcheol, who didn’t seem very happy that I arrived with Junhui. I was about to stand next to Seungcheol as Jun was still holding me and I wasn’t very comfortable with it, when I felt his hands shift to my waist and move me from behind. My brain went blank when I realized he was trying to dance with me and I didn’t know how to react, so I let him lead my hips to his own rhythm. I was feeling uncomfortable but I played it off, trying to put even a tiny little bit of distance between our bodies, but Jun held me tightly against him. I made eye contact with Seungcheol and he was glaring hard at Junhui as he started moving towards us, clearly seeing how uncomfortable I was feeling. I shuddered when Jun rested his chin on my exposed shoulder, his breath hitting my skin, and I decided that it was time I helped myself get away. I gripped his hands and tried to pry them off, shooting Seungcheol a look when he was about to raise his fist, as if to punch Jun.

“Hey! Let go—” He started shouting, but suddenly, Junhui’s body was gone and I turned around stunned. Seungcheol watched amazed as Mingyu held Jun back by the collar of his white shirt, with a gaze that could make you drop dead on the spot. He raised his forefinger at Jun as he started saying something to him, mouth moving fast. Seungcheol placed a hand on my shoulder and I offered him a small smile, watching Mingyu, scared he’d punch Jun or something and cause a scene that would attract more eyes than the ones already on us. Jun’s jaw was clenched as he glared back at Mingyu, but he just nodded twice when Mingyu finished speaking and stepped away from him, turning his back and walking off. Mingyu remained still for a few seconds before he turned around, eyes locked with mine, and then the next second I was pulled into his big body. Seungcheol’s arm disappeared from my shoulder and I didn’t feel it try to pull me away, as Mingyu’s hands held me against him tightly. I sighed and circled my arms around his neck, clinging onto him like I wanted to all night. The heels made me even taller than I usually was and I could feel his hot breath hitting my ear, making the hairs stand on my arms. One of his hands gripped my nape as the other rested on my ass, I didn’t even care who saw us and what they thought, I just wanted to be close to my boyfriend. Mingyu started swaying us to the rhythm and an excited grin appeared on my lips as we were finally doing what I wished for us to do all night. I could have been imagining it, but I thought I could feel the rapid beat of his heart as I pressed a kiss just below his ear, giggling at the way his hands squeezed me in warning, asking me to stop. I knew I had to stop, otherwise, we’d really blow our cover. If I was struggling this much at trying to ignore him all night, I couldn’t imagine what Mingyu was feeling having to see me dressed so revealing without being able to feel me. I pushed all worries to the back of my mind, all the explanations I’d have to come up with to the ones that saw what happened, and enjoyed the present moment of doing what I wanted all night. Moving with Mingyu, against him, and running my hands all over his body with the occasional swift kisses pressed against his skin, my night was complete.

Seungcheol was finally free after the party and we could sit down to study together. He had a lot of catching up to do, so we didn’t talk much, only asked each other if we needed help understanding something. I was secretly really happy that Seungcheol was too busy studying to even think about anything else, because I knew he wasn’t drunk enough last time to have trouble remembering events from the club. I knew it was eating him alive that he let Mingyu dance with me, as if that was some horrible thing, and I realized it this morning when Cheol showed up at my door with a big ass homecooked breakfast. He wasn’t someone who enjoyed staying in the kitchen, probably why he would always eat my leftover food, but when something really bothered him it was his way of unwinding. A weird habit, but it helped him clear his mind for a bit. And so now I was just waiting for him to bring it up, even though I really didn’t want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. We had placed two mugs of coffee on my coffee table in the living room and while I rested on the sofa with a notebook in my lap, Seungcheol was strolling around in my living room as he mumbled to himself whatever was written in his notebook. The atmosphere was chill and pleasant, like it usually was when we were studying, until, of course, Seungcheol opened his mouth and stressed me out with one single question.

“Why were you clinging to Mingyu last night?” I thought if I didn’t react to the question, he’d assume I didn’t hear it and would drop it, but when I felt my best friend’s burning gaze on me, I realized he wouldn’t let this topic slide at all. Seungcheol was angry and confused and wanted answers.

“Uhm,” I shrugged, glancing up at him with my heart thumping quickly, “I guess the alcohol messed with me. I get clingy, I think…you know that though.”

Seungcheol gave me a look and I looked away, attempting to continue studying, “You are not clingy, ever.”

“Why does it matter though?” I snapped, glancing at Seungcheol. He seemed outraged by my question as he threw me a glare.

“Why does it matter?” He scoffed and I stared at him with my lips in a straight line, “Because it’s Kim Mingyu! He will fuck your whole life up, Y/N, if you get involved with him. Please, listen to me, I’ve known him for a long time, okay? He’s not the person who he pretends to be, he just wants to—”

Seungcheol cut himself off and I raised my eyebrows, feeling a bit attacked, “Wants to fuck me? Then dump me and never speak to me again? Maybe taunt me a little bit, play with me for a short time then break my heart because he’s an awful person?”

Seungcheol gulped and nodded his head once, looking back down at his notebook, “Well…I know.”

The words didn’t feel right and I didn’t believe what I said. Maybe at the beginning, when I met him, I believed that, but not anymore. Not ever since we’ve spent so much time together and he let me see his vulnerable side. He didn’t share very much, but I figured he was being cautious, and he just probably wasn’t ready yet to lay his whole life out for me.

“If you know, stop associating yourself with him!” Seungcheol snapped and looked at me frustrated, “Every single time when he comes to you with a suicidal proposal, you accept it! It’s like you can’t wait until he shows up with something crazy! Do you understand what we do is dangerous? That you keep getting involved in things you shouldn’t? We can’t protect you always, I won’t be with you always.”

I grew annoyed at Seungcheol’s words and I placed my notebook aside, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “You do realize this applies to you as well? For five years, Seungcheol, I had no idea you were a gang leader’s or whatever’s second-in-hand. You were the first one to expose me, idiot, and now you keep blaming everything on Mingyu! Why is it always about him? Why is it never about you? Why will you not admit it, Cheol?”

My best friend gulped and he looked down, a guilty look crossing his features before he looked back at me, “Because you are my sister. I come form a shitty family, you know, I struggled my whole life with money because my parents couldn’t deal with them. I still have to help them, if it wasn’t for me, they’d be living on the streets right now. And SVT—I had to do many dirty things to become Mingyu’s second-in-hand, things that would horrify you—I’m—a horrible person and you make me feel a little less horrible. Like I have a normal life, like I’m just a simple university student, like I’m just Choi Seungcheol.”

I bit my lower lip, anger dissipating a little bit, as Seungcheol looked back at me teary eyed, “I know I’m selfish, okay? And I know I can be a lot to deal with sometimes but I just—really love you, okay? And I’m really scared of losing you, that’s why I hate you being involved with SVT and not just me. While it was just me, it wasn’t that dangerous, but now everyone—”

He sighed and my eyebrows furrowed, I watched Seungcheol expectantly and he just shook his head, “Now everyone knows you are Mingyu’s and that if they touch you, they are dead. But that also implies if they touch you, Mingyu is destroyed. And Mingyu has pissed of many people who’d like to get back at him and now—he offered them a perfect bait.”

I gulped as Seungcheol approached me, “I know Cheol, I was kidnapped within the first week of meeting him. And I think about it more often than you’d think…how easily I could disappear one day and end up dead without being able to say goodbye to…the people I love. But I chose to trust you, SVT, and Mingyu. Have a little faith in him, will you?”

Seungcheol grimaced as he plopped down next to me, cuddling up into my side, “When you kissed him at the auction, I thought I’d shoot his brains out.”

“You what?” I exclaimed, glaring down at my best friend. Just the thought of Mingyu getting harmed could send me into a panicked frenzy and when it was coming from Cheol, it made me even more upset. I would never forgive him if he harmed Mingyu.

“He planned it all, Y/N, did you never think of that?” Seungcheol’s eyes connected with mine and I looked at him confused, “He’s an amazing manipulator, Y/N. Whatever he said that made you kiss him, he planned it, he wanted that to happen. The people who were there wanted to ambush Mingyu that night and kill him, but he brought you along and changed their plans. Not because they care if an innocent life dies, no, because Mingyu changed routes. They didn’t know where the two of you would go after the auction and they couldn’t proceed with their plan. It was all a lead on, that’s why I was so damn angry and wanted you to stay out of it. Because I was scared, I’d lose you.”

I frowned as I in-took the information Seungcheol just gave me; he looked at me worried, as if he knew how this affected me. So…the auction was not only a set up to kill Mingyu, but it was also a set up to fool those people and also put my life at risk? It didn’t sit well with me and perhaps my blind trust in Mingyu faltered a little bit. How do I know what we have now is genuine?

“Who’s Hirai Momo?” I blurted out, remembering the tension between the old man and Mingyu. How smug he acted there, how tauntingly he said her name, how he owned the place. Seungcheol sat up straight, eyes wide.

“What?”

If Mingyu was so horrible, he must have done something to them, I wanted to know what. Did he use the family, maybe Momo, like he used me for the auction? Was he using me now too? Would I suffer a similar fate to the Hirai family?

“Vernon—” I gulped as I maintained eye-contact with Cheol, hating that I was lying to him again, “I heard him mention that name and he looked…really sad…”

Seungcheol gulped and he looked away, scratching the back of his neck, “The Hirai family got involved with Mingyu at the worst time and they thought they could play him, so now Mingyu owns them for life. It’s a dirty world we live in, Y/N. Once you mess with a leader like Mingyu, you’re at his mercy.”

I hummed and played with my fingers as Cheol glanced at me, looking uncomfortable, “But who’s Momo?”

“A woman.”

“What happened to her?”

Seungcheol refused to look at me as he rose from the sofa and took his mug, taking a sip from it, “Just a poor girl who—got involved with the wrong person—”

“Stop saying that!” I snapped, anger returning, “I’m fed up with hearing the same excuse over and over again! Just tell me!”

“She’s Mingyu’s ex, okay?” Seungcheol snapped, his anger seeming to match mine, “She fell in love with him and Mingyu played her, no, destroyed her for life. He exploited her and bent her to his wishes however he wanted. Momo can’t see Mingyu anymore, unless she wants to have another maniac episode. He traumatized her and now she’s suffering on her own, her parents struggle to keep her together every day. We don’t talk about her, so you should never bring her up again.”

I gulped as I watched Seungcheol, not exactly knowing how to take in the information. Mingyu did something so bad to Momo that she’s now suffering? He literally drove her crazy? I bit my lower lip and looked away from my best friend, afraid he’d already seen the tears in my eyes. I had the audacity to waltz inside the poor family’s house and flaunt around with Mingyu. With Mingyu, who knew if Momo saw him, she’d get worse, no, he enjoyed the thought of her seeing him…and me there with him. Who was the person I was dating? Did I even know anything about him? Was I destined to have the same fate? Maybe worse? Would he drive me crazy or kill me when he was done with me? I was on the verge of breaking down and just telling Seungcheol that I was dating Mingyu, when loud knocking interrupted the silence of my apartment. I jumped to my feet, hands shaking from the shock of what I learned, and Seungcheol extended an arm.

“Stay here.” He muttered lowly as he cautiously headed for the front door. I saw him peeking out the window before he neared the door, undoing the locks one by one. Seungcheol’s shoulders were tense as he gripped the handle and swung the door open, unleashing hell.

“Move, fuck, move!” Someone shouted and I jumped, heart thumping wildly.

“Where’s the fucking kitchen—”

“To the left, what the fuck happened!” Seungcheol’s voice boomed over the voices in my apartment and I was in the hallway, eyes widening at the sight. I gasped as I watched Mingyu half conscious, groaning at every step Wonwoo and Hoshi took. Chan looked frantic and when my eyes fell on Mingyu’s bloodied white shirt, I had to lean against the wall.

“What happened?” I asked faintly, not even noticing Cheol approach me.

“Go sit in the living room—”

“No, what the fuck happened!” I shouted, following after Wonwoo and Hoshi into my kitchen. Chan threw everything off my table, I didn’t care when a plate shattered, and Mingyu was laid on top of it.

“I need gauze, a knife, needle and thread, alcohol!” Seungcheol rushed past me, knocking into me, as I stood in the doorway with my eyes fixated on Mingyu’s pain covered face.

“A deal went wrong—” Wonwoo huffed out, tearing Mingyu’s shirt open as Chan rushed to wash his hands in the sink, Hoshi held Mingyu’s torso down, “Shootout happened, he got injured—”

Mingyu moaned loudly in pain and I watched helpless, that one time he returned injured after a week of missing and I had to dress him returning to my mind.

“Hurry the fuck up, S. Coups!” Chan shouted and I bit my lower lip, heart beating fast when Wonwoo slowly lifted the bloody material off Mingyu’s skin. Mingyu groaned again as he pressed his head into the table, eyes opening and falling on me.

“Sugar…” He panted, voice weak and raspy. I didn’t know how to react, my hands shook more, when Wonwoo beaconed me over.

“Is he—will he—die?”

“Not if it depends on me.” Chan said determinedly as Seungcheol rushed into the kitchen, everything Chan asked for in his arms. I shakily approached them and bit my lower lip when Mingyu grimaced again, squirming around more.

“Stop moving if you want the bullet out of your body!” Hoshi snapped and my eyes fell on the wound for the first time. I could see the bullet actually, it wasn’t in very deep, and it made me sick; his lower abdomen was all bloody and sweat covered his body.

“I told you to wear a fucking vest!” Wonwoo cursed, his deep voice raising at Mingyu and Seungcheol disinfected the knife and needle with the alcohol.

“Sugar…” Mingyu’s eyes searched for mine and I looked at him, not knowing what to do, “Now would be a good time to get a kiss…”

I huffed out a chuckle, shaking my head at him, as Chan took the knife in his hand, “Hold him down.”

Seungcheol grabbed Mingyu’s thighs, Hoshi held onto his torso and Wonwoo stood beside me, hands pressing down his shoulders.

“You can hold him too; he needs a little comfort.” Wonwoo muttered to me when Chan approached Mingyu.

“Stay still.” Chan instructed and I watched as he lowered the knife closer and closer to Mingyu’s ribs, poking the skin just underneath the bullet wound. Mingyu groaned loudly, sucking his belly in and I fell to my knees, taking his head in my hands.

“Look at me,” I said shakily and Mingyu’s jaw clenched as a groan left his lips, “You’ll be fine.”

His body was twitching and my eyebrows furrowed when I glanced at Chan, knife in the wound, pushing the bullet out. The sight made me sick and I looked back at Mingyu as he cried out.

“It’s almost out, Mingyu…” I whispered and he groaned, turning his head into my hold, closing his eyes tightly shut. Chan worked to wipe the wound with alcohol too and Mingyu cried out for the second time, his voice raw. My heart clenched at the sound and I knew he could feel the tremor of my hands when his eyes snapped open, the needle with the threat entering his skin to stitch him up.

“I’m fine.” He growled out, jaw clenched, the veins in his neck showing, as he pressed his head into my touch.

“Yes, you are.” I snapped, biting my lower lip when he attempted to chuckle, “Because…if you die…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

I needed so many answers, he couldn’t leave me. We’ve been together for way too little time; I couldn’t lose him now.

“A bullet can’t—” He hissed and I glanced at Chan to see him having finished stitching Mingyu up, “take me down, fuck.”

His body seemed to go slack, his muscles loosened when Chan stepped back, and the boys let go of him. I couldn’t, not when he was laying on my kitchen table injured and in pain. He nuzzled his cheek into my touch and closed his eyes as Chan cleaned up the skin around the wound as best as he could, pressing some gauze against the stitches.

“Who did this?” Seungcheol’s voice was deadly, low and menacing, and my head whipped in his direction to see him staring at Mingyu’s wound. Soonyoung shared a look with Wonwoo and he left Mingyu’s side, taking Seungcheol out of the kitchen with himself.

“Seungcheol told us it was a bad idea—” Wonwoo seemed angry as his palms turned into fists.

“And you said we should proceed still—” Mingyu spat, eyes blazing with fire as he opened them, glaring at his best friend. Chan remained quiet as he cleaned up and I continued to hold Mingyu’s head, stroking his hot cheek. And then I remembered the conversation I overheard Vernon and Seungcheol having, and I opened my mouth, not letting Wonwoo say anything.

“Since when do you take orders from Wonwoo?” I snapped, raising my eyebrows. The three men looked at me stunned, my voice was hard and the panic and anger slipped through, “Seungcheol is your fucking second-in-hand, not Wonwoo. Remember who you are, Kim Mingyu, and start acting like it.”

When I said those words, I didn’t know the weight they carried. I failed to notice the look Chan and Wonwoo shared next to me, the way they straightened up and looked down. Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed, probably confused how I knew that, but I knew he got the message when his expression hardened. He raised his head and I lowered mine, pressing a kiss against his lips before Seungcheol returned. The questions remained, all the insecurities worsened, but when I looked at Mingyu, laying on my table in the kitchen injured, I knew those could wait. I knew I would forgive him, because I cared about him so much. So much, I felt like my own life flashed in front of my eyes when I saw him in pain and all bloody. I realized, no matter what this man did to me, I would always return because I cared about him. Because I wanted to be with him, because I felt something for him, I’ve never felt before. And maybe…I was the next Momo, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. And if I didn’t do it now, I wouldn’t do it later.

The boys stayed for two hours, letting Mingyu get a little rest while they planned how to get back at the gang that injured their leader. I cooked some food and fed the men, staying by Mingyu’s side, even though he asked to be alone. I couldn’t bring myself to do that, not when his face was scrunched up in his sleep, and he winced at the tiniest movement. Chan gave him some powerful painkillers but the effects kicked in later than they were expecting it. Seungcheol was too busy and tired to pay any attention to me as they were huddled around in my kitchen at the table, which we cleaned up already, discussing about something I wasn’t supposed to hear about. I took that as my chance to sneak into my bedroom, where Mingyu was resting, and study some more while supervising him and making sure he was alright. Mingyu had a fever, but Chan said it was a normal reaction. Apparently, Chan went to med school and he was SVT’s medic, in case something like this happened. He reassured me that Mingyu would be fine and in no more than just a week, he’d stop feeling any discomfort caused by the bullet wound. I trusted him and thanked him for doing his best as I closed the bedroom door softly, turning around to see Mingyu’s eyes half opened. He looked tired and in pain, my heart clenched. This was such a bad timing, I wanted to reassure him, but Seungcheol’s words hung around my head and I didn’t know how to act anymore. But when he extended his hand towards mine with a whine, I caved in, and walked up to the bed to hold onto him. He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand as he held onto my hand fiercely, his eyes finally closing as he dozed off with a long sigh. Tears gathered in my eyes once again as I looked down at him, confusion, fear, and affection mushing together all because of one man. I felt so lost sitting there, left alone with my thoughts, but my finals were tomorrow and I needed to study still. So, I grabbed my notebook and sat on the floor, holding onto Mingyu’s hand, as I distracted my thoughts by memorizing everything I could.

After Mingyu woke up and ate a bit, Wonwoo, Soonyoung and Chan took him away and thanked me for housing them for the time being. Apparently, my apartment was the closest and they knew Seungcheol was over, so they knew they had to come here. I was a bit reluctant when Mingyu whispered that he’d text me as soon as he got home, not wanting him to go just yet, but I nodded at him and kissed his cheek when no one was watching. That night, I hardly slept anything, and I ended up going over to Seungcheol’s, cuddling up next to him in his small bed. It helped a bit, but I wasn’t feeling very energized in the morning when Seungcheol drove us to Uni, let alone ready to take those finals. But I sucked it up, and did my best to get a passing grade. Before leaving, I messaged Mingyu to see if he was feeling alright and I got a swift text back, but I didn’t think much of it, he wasn’t very talkative in the mornings. I continued to send a few messages, like I usually would, while Seungcheol and I were going to Uni but I got no answer back, so I assumed Mingyu was just resting. After my finals, I messaged him once again with a few texts, checking up on him and letting him know that I was done with Uni and I would head to the bookstore, but I got no answer back. It made me a bit sulky, but I tried not to think much of it, he probably was just resting, like he should. However, it still worried me a bit since he stopped answering me since the morning. Seungcheol had to stay for longer at Uni today, so Vernon was the one picking me up, he called and told me was around and free if I needed a ride or wanted to have lunch. I told him that I couldn’t go to lunch today as I was working, so he offered to drive me to the bookstore.

It was warm inside the car and I sighed with a smile as I closed the door, smiling back at Vernon. He leaned over the middle console and we hugged each other before I put on my seatbelt, my backpack resting between my legs.

“How were your finals?” He asked as he drove out of the parking lot.

“Hard, but at least it’s finally over.” I muttered with a sigh, melting into the seat. I could finally do whatever I wanted and wouldn’t be stressed anymore.

“I heard finals are a pain in the ass.” I scoffed at Vernon’s words as he turned onto the main street.

“I was living on coffee and all I did for two weeks was an attempt to study non-stop…” Vernon hummed, turning up the radio when his favorite song came on. I chuckled and bobbed my head to it, unlocking my phone to check if Mingyu answered back. There was nothing though and I sighed as I continued enjoying the music, laughing when Vernon rapped along. He changed lanes swiftly and sped up a bit, crossing the light when it turned yellow.

“What’s bothering you?” Vernon spoke over the music, giving me a quick glance, “You keep frowning.”

I quickly evened my expression out and shook my head, “Nothing.”

“Ay, come on…” Vernon gave me another glance, “You won’t tell you friend what’s bothering you? Do you not trust me?”

“I trust you!” I snapped and Vernon chuckled, coming to a stop at the red light, “It’s just…”

“Just say it, it’s no big deal, really.” He offered me a small smile and tapped my knee reassuringly.

I pursed my lips and nodded, turning my head away from him as my cheeks warmed, “Do you know anything about Mingyu…”

Vernon remained silent as he turned the volume of the music down, “Like…am I supposed to know anything specific about him?”

I scoffed and gave him a look, “He was shot and I’m just curious if he’s fine.”

“Ah!” Vernon exclaimed, driving through the intersection once the lights turned green, “Yeah, we had a meeting this morning, he was fine. I mean…I’m sure he’s still in pain, but he had more energy than I was expecting him to have.”

“Really?” I muttered and sighed, looking out the window, “Is he resting enough?”

“It’s Mingyu,” Vernon scoffed and I glanced at him, “He never rests, especially when we are in the middle of negotiating with the police! I know he was with Sana today before and after our meeting—”

My head whipped in Vernon’s direction as his eyes went wide, “What?”

“Uh,” Vernon gulped and chuckled awkwardly, stopping at a cross, “No—nothing?”

“Mingyu was with who?” I pressed again, shooting daggers at Vernon’s profile as he started driving again.

“Sana.” He whispered guiltily and I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“That fucking asshole,” I snapped, voice growing loud, “I worry about him non-stop, wondering if he’s doing alright, but he’s out with Sana? Doing business, I assume? I’m so fucking fed up with him! Why did I even think dating him was a good idea—”

It was my turn for my eyes to go wide, and voice grow silent. Vernon didn’t say anything, a bit surprised by my sudden outburst. I cleared my throat and sneaked a glance at him, he was grinning to himself.

“What.” I muttered, glaring down at my own legs.

“Are you jealous?” His voice filled with amusement almost made me lose it again.

“I’m not!” I exclaimed, looking at him with narrowed eyes, “What makes you think that?”

“Well…” Vernon chuckled as he pulled in front of the bookstore, “I don’t know if it makes you feel better, but Mingyu is really jealous too. I mean…he told me right after the auction to leave you alone because you’ve been dating secretly for a while now.”

“That’s not even true!” I exclaimed as my eyes went wide; Vernon just shrugged, “We’ve only been dating for four weeks now…there was nothing going on between us before the auction!”

I undid my seatbelt as Vernon watched me with a pout, “I don’t want to get involved with your relationship, but…just be careful, okay?”

“Why?” I raised my eyebrows, opening the door, “Because I’ll end up like Momo?”

Vernon’s jaw went slack as his eyes ran over my face, shocked that I knew of her, “What?”

“Yeah,” I snapped sourly, “Mingyu had the audacity to take me to their house. He’s incapable of answering my texts because he’s currently with Sana. Maybe he’s already begun his process of breaking me, huh?”

“That’s not—” I scoffed and Vernon looked away from me for a second, “That’s not what’s happening, if Mingyu wanted to play around with you, he would have had his fun with you already.”

I hummed and exited the car, “Yeah…I don’t know what to believe anymore, Vernon. I know the whole auction was planned, Cheol told me.”

Vernon’s face turned pale and guilt overtook his features as I turned to look at him, “I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. I’ll talk to you later and—please, don’t tell anyone about Mingyu and I, especially Seungcheol.”

“I won’t, take care of yourself.” I hummed and closed the car’s door, watching as Vernon drove away. I sighed and looked up at the sky, questioning all the decisions I have taken lately. What was I doing? Was this the right path? Could I turn around? I couldn’t though, it was too late already. Maybe this was supposed to happen to teach me a lesson. With a sigh I turned to walk up to the bookstore, but my phone got a message notification. I took it in my hand and pulled down the notification bar to see a text from Mingyu. Then another and five more in just five seconds. I scoffed and put it back in my pocket as I headed for the bookstore, eyebrows furrowed and blood boiling. He has the audacity to say he was resting meanwhile he was with Sana. If he thinks he can fool me and make me bend to his wishes, he is fucking wrong.

I was doing the shops inventory as I hummed along to the music. Irene had to leave to pick up a package that her mother sent for her from the train station, so I was currently alone at the bookstore. I didn’t mind spending my time alone here, today was a less busy day. I was checking the list of newly arrived books when the door opened, making my eyebrows furrow.

“I’m sorry, we are doing inventory right now—” When I raised my head and looked at the person standing in the doorway, my blood boiled. Mingyu wore a long brown coat that reached his ankles, and he held a bag in his hands.

“Hi, sugar.” He said with a smirk as he walked further inside, my jaw clenched. I didn’t want to see him.

“We are closed.” I snapped as I went back to checking the list, ignoring Mingyu’s intense gaze.

“You weren’t answering my texts,” He said quietly and I rolled my eyes, “I brought lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.” I muttered as Mingyu stopped on the opposite side of the counter, placing the bag on top of it.

“You didn’t have lunch today.” Mingyu pressed and I sighed, finally looking at him. He looked fine, besides the slight wincing when he moved.

“My appetite has been gone for days…” I told Mingyu and he raised his eyebrows, glancing down at the inventory list.

“I saw your finals went good?” I nodded my head, looking away when he searched my eyes, “We can finally spend more time together. I was thinking we could go on a trip—”

“I’m working still.” I shut him up quickly, grabbing the bag, and placed it behind the counter, “I haven’t seen my parents in a long time, I want to visit them soon.”

“We can go together.” Mingyu offered with a grin and I hummed, not very keen of the idea.

“Yeah…I’d rather not present you to them…” I muttered as I turned around to grab the box of newly arrived books. Mingyu scoffed and I threw him a glance, he was glaring at me.

“Why not?”

I scoffed this time as I slammed the box on top of the counter, “Because we’ve barely been dating for four weeks? Why would I take you home when the relationship is so unstable?”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed and his jaw clenched, “What the hell are you saying?”

“You heard me.” I snapped as I opened the box with more force than necessary, glaring at Mingyu when he grabbed my wrist to get my attention. He hissed quietly at the sudden movement, pain painting his face for a second.

“What is your problem lately?” He snapped and I offered him an unamused smile.

“You are my problem,” I yanked my wrist out of his hold and for a second I felt bad as Mingyu winced, “I’m working, so please leave. The bookstore is closed for inventory.”

Mingyu scoffed and shook his head at me with a sneer, throwing me a glare before he turned around and stormed out of the bookstore. I sighed and leaned against the counter, closing my eyes. Is this the relationship I want? Constant fighting? Pent up frustration? No communication about my feelings? Since when did I become so closed off and unhealthy? Why do I feel for the first time like I’m inferior to a person?

Irene and I got to stay later than the we usually would at the bookstore as our boss came around to give us our salary. He offered to give us a ride home as it was dark outside already, but Irene had to be somewhere, and I didn’t want to bother him. He lived on the other side of the city so I reassured my boss that I would be taking a cab home, so that he would let me leave. After he closed up, we bid our goodbyes to each other, and all three of us went our separate ways. I held onto my backpack as I walked down the street, inhaling the chilly air of the evening. It was refreshing and it didn’t bother me as I needed something to clear and ease up my mind. Finals were over, yet I was still stressed because of Mingyu. I didn’t know how to bring up everything that was bothering me and it was stressing me out more. As I sighed, shuffling behind me caught my attention and I peaked over my shoulder subtly to see a tall figure approaching me fast. My first instinct was to start running, until I realized it was Mingyu’s brown coat that was flapping around. I groaned and stopped walking, turning around to face him.

“Why are you following me?” I snapped once he approached me, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s late, why are you walking home?” He asked, grabbing my backpack. I glanced down but didn’t let go of it.

“Because my shift is over, am I not supposed to go home?” Mingyu sighed and tugged on the backpack but I still held onto it, “I’m not giving it to you.”

“Would you have walked home if I didn’t show up to drive you?” I looked up at Mingyu with a grimace as he gave the backpack a harsh yank, almost pulling it out of my grip.

“I don’t want you to drive me home.” Mingyu just rolled his eyes before he stepped closer, forehead’s almost touching. I looked into his eyes instinctively, taken aback by his sudden closeness. His honey-like scent invaded my nostrils and I hated how it made me miss his touch. I didn’t even feel it when Mingyu untangled my fingers from the backpack, lost in his eyes, and he was already stepping away.

“Get in the car.” His voice was commanding as he left me standing on the sidewalk, his Mercedes a few feet away, parked where it wasn’t even allowed to. I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing I couldn’t just walk home now, so I went and sat in his car. My backpack was thrown in the back and the radio was turned off as I did my seatbelt, feeling Mingyu watching me. I didn’t look at him, I just turned my head to look outside the window and he started driving wordlessly. He wasn’t speeding like he usually would, he was driving at a slow tempo and it was pissing me off. He was doing it on purpose, prolonging our time together.

“I’m tired, I want to get home tonight, if that’s possible.” I snapped finally, biting the insides of my cheeks when Mingyu scoffed.

“Of course, you’re tired, sugar. Any excuse that gets you away from me is welcome.” I rolled my eyes but remained silent as Mingyu sped up just a little bit, changing lanes recklessly. I reached out to turn on the radio, but Mingyu’s strong grip made me stop and hiss.

“What are you doing.” I snapped and looked at him with a glare as I tried to free my wrist.

“Start talking, right now.” His jaw was clenched, stance stiff, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a tight line. I gulped and tried to tug my wrist away again, but Mingyu just held it stronger and I whined, pain surging up my arm.

“It hurts.” I muttered, but he didn’t react.

“Yeah, I’m hurting too, but you don’t see me whining like a fucking baby.” He snapped and I looked at him hurt, why was he making everything worse?

“Can you take my feelings into consideration for just one second?” I asked, eyebrows raising as Mingyu scoffed.

“You’re asking me to do that? What about you?”

“Why do you always turn everything I say around and blame me?” I exclaimed and a humorless chuckle left Mingyu’s lips.

“Because you always paint me as the bad guy!” He snapped back and I laughed, tugging my wrist finally away.

“Aren’t you the bad guy though?” I asked with a taunting chuckle, turning my body towards him as my eyes narrowed at Mingyu, “Everyone is telling me to stay away from you. Maybe they are right, maybe I’m starting to see what they’ve been warning me of. Maybe…it’s not late for me to walk away. Save myself from becoming another Momo.”

I gasped when Mingyu hit the brakes suddenly, sending us forward in the car. Loud honking came from around us and a few tire screeching sounds, but thankfully nothing worse happened. Mingyu’s eyes have darkened as he looked at me and I gulped, almost afraid. My heart was thumping wildly when he pulled over onto the side walk, the engine still running as he turned his whole body to look at me.

“What did you say?” Mingyu’s voice was low and a shiver ran over my skin. I almost looked away when his gaze found mine, but no, this was the timing I needed. Horrible, indeed, but if I didn’t tell him now, I wouldn’t later.

“I know everything about you and Momo, don’t even try to deny it. You played her, made her crazy—and you took me to their house? Knowing how she’d react seeing you there?!” My voice broke, emotions of shame and anger mixing, “You made me walk in there, waltz around—I’m fucking sick just thinking about it! And—and Sana! The way you treated me when she showed up? Do you think I’m a piece of shit you can push around, Mingyu? You call me your girlfriend but you let her be all over you? Kiss her on the corner of her mouth? In front of me? What game are you playing, huh?”

“I’m not playing any games, Y/N,” Mingyu growled out and I flinched when he swiftly grabbed my nape, pulling me closer, “Everything is in your head—”

“Oh, Momo being crazy is in my head?! You eye-fucking with Sana is just in my head?! You constantly pushing my needs away to satisfy yours are in my head?! Putting my life at risk by bringing me to the auction because you knew they planned to ambush you, is all in my head, right?!” I screamed at Mingyu, breathing hard and eyes filling with tears of anger, frustration, and hurt. He gaped at me, taken aback by my outburst, grip loosening on my nape.

“I—” He cleared his throat when his voice sounded weak, “I knew what I was doing—you—you would have never been hurt even if they proceeded with the ambush.”

I chuckled tiredly as tears escaped my eyes, my chest felt lighter and maybe the tears were of relief as I shook my head, “How can you know that?”

“I planned it.” Mingyu’s jaw clenched as he searched for my eyes.

“Like those two raids that got fucked because of you?” I whispered, biting my lower lip as I attempted to brush my tears off my cheeks. Mingyu’s face fell and he winced as he leaned closer, pulling me into a tight hug. He sighed and held me tighter when I didn’t return the hug, I didn’t have the energy, I was still crying silently.

“I would never put your life in danger if I didn’t know what I was doing.” Mingyu’s voice was filled with raw emotion and it made my heart clench, “I’m so sorry I made you feel like this…”

I hummed and weakly returned the hug, careful not to squeeze Mingyu as his wound was still fresh, “I’m so upset that you hid so many things from me. Why can’t you just tell me the truth? How can I trust you, Mingyu?”

“I promise to tell you everything from now on.” He reassured softly, running his hands down my back.

“You can’t even answer my texts, but you hang out with Sana instead of resting?” I scoffed and bit my lower lip, the tears have finally stopped falling, “How do you think it made me feel? I have never acted the way you do, around Vernon or Seungcheol, have I? I even told you they are like my brothers to remind you there was nothing going on between us. But you…I don’t know anymore. What if you’re sleeping with her behind my back? Why would you even be with me if Sana was there—”

“Stop.” Mingyu’s voice raised as he pulled back abruptly, holding my cheeks firmly, “Please stop saying so much non-sense, do you even hear yourself, sugar? I care for you so much; you can’t even imagine what it feels like. You are the only thing that fills up my mind. You’re constantly on my mind, so much, sometimes it drives me crazy. I would never—I will never do what I did to Momo to you, and I will never cheat on you or hurt you. Please, stop thinking it will happen. Just—trust me? Please, I will explain everything when this mess is over. Sana is just a person I’m doing business with and it’s a very important matter for SVT. I’m risking everything with this, please, don’t leave me when I need you most.”

I bit my lower lip again, refusing to tear up again, “I trust you. I’m just…so insecure. I want to trust you more but it’s hard when you switch from being like this into a person I don’t recognize.”

“I can’t show this side of me, the real me, to others, sugar. You have to learn to accept both, work with both. It’s still me at the end of the day, yeah?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows and I nodded wordlessly, finally letting myself melt into his touch. I missed him so much. I didn’t want us to get here. I should have voiced my fears a long time ago.

“I’m sorry, I—I’ll try to speak up about how I feel before it blows up. I just really suck at talking about my feelings.” I looked away and Mingyu smiled softly, leaning close to nuzzle his nose against mine.

“Yeah, you definitely need to stop doing that. I missed you a lot.” He muttered and I returned the smile, placing my hands on top of his.

“I missed you too,” I pressed my lips against his, warmness flooding my body at the sense of familiarity, “Stop leaning over the console, you’re hurting the wound.”

“It does hurt like a bitch.” Mingyu groaned as he pulled back, sitting back normally in his seat.

“You have to rest, okay?” I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded with a grin, offering me his hand. I intertwined our fingers with a grimace, irritated by the smug look on his face.

“Stay with me tonight?” Mingyu asked and I looked at him wondering. Could I sleep over at his? No, Seungcheol would notice my absence and that would be bad. Maybe Mingyu could sleep over at my place?

I opened my mouth to answer him back, but his phone started ringing. With his left hand he took it off the dashboard and answered the call. I couldn’t hear what the person on the other line was saying, but it made Mingyu tense up, all tenderness gone from his expression. I watched him as he grew angry in just a few seconds, and I rubbed his knuckles with my fingers to reassure him a bit.

“Understood, I’ll be there.” He growled out and ended the call, throwing his phone back where it was. I raised my eyebrows as he threw me a look, shifting the gear into position.

“We need to make a quick stop, then we can go home and sleep.” He said as he started driving again, posture tense. I nodded and rested my head against the headrest, curious as to where we were headed. Mingyu drove at a high speed, but I remained silent. What has happened now?

Part 5

131 notes · View notes