#just reinventing the gender binary

[geneticcatalyst]

every time i see people equate 'top' and 'bottom' to personality traits i have to wonder if they see gay people as real people at all or just as tropes

[andiv3r]

Sometimes I see something that reminds me that other people are using this website in a drastically different way from how I am

[wereh0gz]

I'm sure there's posts out there that say this better than I ever could but it pisses me off when ppl try to reinvent the binary in "progressive" ways like the whole men/non-men thing like. Gender is way too fucking complicated and categories like that don't really help ppl they just continue to exclude ppl who don't fit neatly into your ideas of gender (multigender and genderfluid ppl for example. Or y'know. Ppl like me)

Like can we please just throw this idea away I'm sick of it

[moe-broey]

.

[sp1resong]

shoutout to people who aren't masc, fem, neutral, or any combination of the above we are out here in the fucking trenches

[bisexualsafespace]

gender binary: men, women

""inclusive"" gender binary: "non men" "non woman"

its one photo, its the same picture, it is the gender binary.

[schadenfreudich]

A post ends up being mildly popular and everytime someone likes or reblogs, I think "I have correct opinions" to myself.

[die-tenebris]

Maybe nobody wants to build community with you because you call nonbinary afab people 'thems' like a right wing pundit

[captaindibbzy]

I think it's important to let guys be gender non conforming without telling them they're a girl, cause actually misgendering people is still shit even when you are pro trans. "You're a girl, an egg waiting to crack, and that's ok" how about you are a boy and a man and it's still ok if you want to do something that doesn't align with traditional ideals of your gender. You can still be he/him¹ in a skirt and makeup.

Edits:

¹ People in the notes are correct, He/Him does not exclusively mean male. However in my defence this was a personal rant. I did not expect it to break containment quite this much so this is litterally just first draft brain dribble. I stand by the principle that gender is personal expression and not a dictation. He/Him ladies and She/Her men can do what they want with their gender. And they can also rock traditionally feminine styled fashion if they want to.

TERF's however can fuck off. This is a pro-Trans space, and this post was inspired by watching people be so pro-trans they reinvent the gender binary, which is in large part due to over enthusiastic Cis people.

Why has this post been iced?

Cause it has been going since August 2023 and I'm fucking sick of being told I'm a transphobe for saying respect the pronouns people give you even when they're wearing fucking pink eyeshadow.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Anything that either has feathers or isn't bipedal

personally when someone says "non men" im going to assume they mean Anything that isn't a man. charger cables, glow in the dark paint, gravel, elephants, fossils, paper, EVERYTHING . "im attracted to non men" you fuck self checkout machines

[toymoder]

Trying to act normal when ppl on here are masc4masc like 👀💀 like ik what u mean but still pls google it for the sake of us old farts

[2pen2wildfire]

Really hate that the queer community's response to the creation of a gender trinary (girl, boy, and nonbinary, which is still not all-encompassing) was to... reinvent the binary. We just started grouping all genders into "masc/male-aligned" and "fem/female-aligned" and it's so fucking stupid. Even with the occasional allowance of "neutral/unaligned" it still maintains the binary as the standard. And then they don't let you use certain labels if you don't have the "right" gender alignment. The fuck.

[castrotophic]

Nonbinary jobs:

literally every job this is a weird trend

[juney-blues]

"society treats different types of transness in different ways, when talking about structural oppression, being transmasc, transfem, or nonbinary, are not interchangeable, and in fact have a significant impact on how you are treated"

"oh so you're reinventing the gender binary? you're dividing the queer community based on agab?? is that what you're doing?"

you ignorant asshole we're not the ones doing that! that's already happened! we're just talking about how it affects us!

i'm sorry that we don't already live in a postgender utopia where all the different types of transness are interchangeable and no one is treated worse than anyone else, but we're not gonna will that into existence by just pretending it's already true!

i'm gonna go slam my head into my fucking desk

[boreal-sea]

Fellow queer folks who associate with masculinity, butchness, and/or manhood at least part of the time:

We're subverting something really big: the patriarchy itself. The concepts of masculinity, manhood, and privilege. Our existence is extremely disruptive to the status quo.

That's going to cause a lot of friction. We are asking people to unlearn the entire male/female & man/woman binary of privilege. Many people are trying to force us into the way privilege works under the patriarchy and that simply doesn't work, because we don't fit into that framework. This is why people are trying to assign a hierarchy of privilege to trans people based on whether or not they "present masculine" or "present feminine", or trying to flip privilege based on sex assigned at birth to be the inverse of how things are under the patriarchy, etc. They're just reinventing the patriarchy and gender binaries though! None of that makes sense from a queer perspective, but breaking free of the mindset of the patriarchal gendered privilege hierarchy is difficult!

I know none of us signed up to be the vanguard of a social revolution, but we're in this churning ocean together, so we've got to stick with each other.

This message is for all kinds of queer folks! If you feel this is for you, then it is for you!!

[remma-demma]

I’m actually scared of alienating some of my followers and moots with all the trans discourse I’ve been steeping quietly in and contemplating, but… I’m trying to not let being scared shut me up about this. That, in and of itself, is erasure and silencing.

Fuck staying quiet. Trans men and mascs deserve a voice, and we, as a group, are not oppressing or invalidating anyone else by using that voice. (Obviously there are shithead exceptions!! Anyone can be an asshole.)

I really hope that if I ever speak about any of this in the future, that people recognize that it’s not ever, ever trans femininity as a concept I have an issue with. It’s people who

- try to divide the community

- are reinventing gender essentialism from the ground up but make it trans

-police other people’s identities and decide for them what oppression they must face because of a tiny set of superficial traits

- simply. Don’t understand what intersectionality means.

- disregard and invalidate anyone who doesn’t fit a very specific (binary, rich, white, abled, flawlessly passing) idea of what it means to be trans.

None of those things are specific or exclusive to one identity. There just happens to be a community of transfems who are currently espousing many of these ideas as gospel. They are understandably defensive because of real actual transmisogyny they face. But other trans people are not your enemy. Accusing anyone and everyone who tries to point these flaws out as radical transmisogynists is simply not true. Pointing out bigotry is not bigotry in itself.

I don’t want the trans community to constantly be at each other’s throats. We each have to sit down and think if we ever catch ourselves blaming an entire other marginalized group for our issues. That’s just fascism babes.