#just overcome while leading them to believe they must be secret/stop when in reality She Does Understand. how do they realize these things

[twojamie-o-clock]

this is how they acknowledge whatever they are

[shreddedparchment]

Pseudo Princess Pt.35

Sacrifices to Save the World

Pairing: King!Steve x Reader          Word Count: 9,582

Warnings: smut, LOTS of fluff, angst

A/N: (THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! One more to go!) Here it is everyone! The moment I have been waiting for. I can’t really say much and I don’t want to give anything away so, I’ll just let the chapter speak for itself. I also want to say that I’m sorry that I haven’t been as diligent about responding to comments. Trust me when I say that I read and reread them often! I appreciate your thoughts and reactions so much. As always, if you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work!

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Please DO NOT repost my stories. Reblogs are MOST welcome!

You bustle around the cottage sweeping cat hair and dust, mixing the white of the chalk dust with the crimson blood of Grandmother’s sacrificial cat.

Your attempts to tidy the space is wasted as you’re only making it worse, but rather than focus on her words you prefer to clean.

She watches you from the seat at her table where you placed her. A cup of water gripped in her withered hand, still trembling slightly.

“Stop cleaning, girl!” Grandmother chides, watching you with annoyance as you stop amongst the mess on her floor and throw your hands out to your sides in a clear indication of not understanding.

“What would you have me do?” You ask her, voice tight with distress. “You tell me that my husband will fight to his death and I am supposed to what? Dance?”

“Just sit down.” She points at the seat across from her, her finger crooked and weak.

You drop the broom where you stand and plop yourself down on the indicated seat while ignoring the creak of the weathered wood. The old woman would resist new furnishings though you’d managed to sneak in a new bed and kitchenware.

“You killed your cat.” You tell her, as if she doesn’t know.

“Yes.” She agrees and lifts the small cup to her lips to take a drink.

“Why?”

“I had to see.” She explains. “Something was…was there.”

“When I found you outside Steve’s office?” You check, though you know her answer.

“Yes.” With a sigh she captures your gaze and does not release it. “I have sensed a darkness growing in the world. Something elusive. Hidden. It has kept its face secret, behind that of puppets. It uses others to do its bidding and until today I had no idea what that bidding was.

“He is gathering six relics. Stones. Rich in magic properties. Richer than any other relics I have ever come across. Each of them with powers more terrifying than the last.”

“What kind of powers?” You ask her, voice feeble and wispy.

“Powers to control time. Power to manipulate the mind and the very fabric of space and reality.” She warns. “Powers to rule the world…or wipe it from existence.”

Your heart grows cold, slipping into the pit of your stomach as you picture Steve in his armor standing before such massive power. What could your warrior husband do in the face of such might?

“Who is he?” You ask her, eager to put a face to the threat.

“I don’t know.” She says, looking down at the necklace that always rests around your neck. The locket that is Steve’s insignia, with his picture along with your parents. “I cannot see his face. I can only feel him. He is stronger than the king. Stronger than many of those who fight here. Together they may defeat him, but I did not see them together. I saw only your husband, the bodies of those you love surrounded him, and he fell too.”

You get up, unwilling to let her convince you despite you having already accepted her words. “I cannot listen to this.”

“You must, girl. You must take heed of what I tell you and prepare yourself for what is to come. Take your daughter and go as far away from here as possible but even that may not save you.” She adds as an afterthought. “I feel this evil plans for more than death. He has such a will.”

Turning to her you consider her thoughtful expression and the way she seems lost to her vision. She believes it with every fiber of her being and your own heart is swayed into panic as you throw yourself onto your knees at her feet.

Gripping the hand she has resting on her lap, you raise it to your breast and hold it there to where your heart is pounding.

“There must be something you can do. Something that will save him.” You reason, pleading for her to see reason as if she held the very fate of Steve within her old hands. “Won’t you try?”

“I cannot.” She shakes her head. “Such magics are forbidden. I am no dark witch.”

Her insistence is fractured, her own eyes betray her as she eyes you up and then turns away.

Her fondness is clear. You know that she loves you despite the way she speaks to you at times. She has fought hard for your happiness. If you would beg for her life, you think she might give it up.

“Is there no way? Nothing? Surely there is a chance to change things without resorting to dark magics? Please, Grandmother…” Before you know what’s happening, you’re crying.

Tears flow freely across your cheeks but your voice is strong in the only way that it can be when you’re pleading for your husband’s life.

“I cannot live in a world where my husband is not alive. Please…help me. Help me save him. There must be a way. There must be…please. We just had our daughter…” You lay your head in her lap, overcome with fear at this future she’s seen. “Please.”

Her silence is heavy. You can feel her thinking, can feel her mind searching for a way to give you what you want.

You have always loved this old woman but until today, you had not considered how much she might truly love you as one would a true granddaughter.

“Give me time.” She sighs.

“You’ll try?!” You gasp, your heart soaring.

With an elated sob you drop your head onto her lap and with gentle, feeble hands, she strokes the back of your head.

“I will think on it. I will try. I cannot make any promises.” She warns you, reaching under your chin to draw your gaze up. “What you ask for will not be easy. Is he worth it?”

You blink, confused by her question because in your mind there is absolutely no doubt.

“He’s worth more. He’s worth everything.” You nod. “I love him.”

Grandmother’s gaze withers and she releases you, nudging you away.

“Go. Be with your husband and child. Let me ponder.” She orders and slowly you rise.

You’re so stunned you have to keep a hand on the table as you rise to keep your knees buckling.

“When will you know?” You ask her, sniffling from the tears you shed.

“Go.” She orders again, staring at the hem of your dress. “And change your dress. You’re covered in blood.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Standing still, you hold tight to the lower left post of your bed as your corset is laced again.

The copper tub by the roaring fire in your bedroom sits lukewarm, full pink and wine-colored peony blooms floating within its oiled surface.

“Why was there blood on your dress?” Natasha wonders, tugging tight on your laces making you gasp.

“It’s not important.” You tell her, then think better of keeping her completely in the dark. “There was a dead cat on the way to Grandmother’s and I didn’t realize it until I came upon it.”

Fuck, was that believable? Does she trust you enough to accept your words without doubt?

“You’re keeping something from me.” She counters, frowning as she ties the corset closed.

Apparently not.

“I’m not.” You argue, but after her silence pierces your soul, you sigh. “I’m worried.”

“About Hydra?” She asks, supplying you with an appropriate alternative to the truth.

“Of course.” You grasp onto this straw and lean your stress onto this very real threat. “The last time I was within their vicinity someone tried to kill me and Maggie.”

“That won’t happen again.” Natasha assures you, moving towards you with a long ivory gown. The slightly yellowish tinge to the flowing fabric is pretty, though you note this in the back of your head. You’re too preoccupied with the threats looming overhead to notice how pretty the dress is. “I should have stayed with you.”

“It wasn’t your fault Nat. Pierce knew what he was doing. He’d been to father’s many times and he knew that I’d be in that part of the castle. He knew that you’d all be focused elsewhere. He was going to find a way to me one way or another.” You reason, but you know that if Peter or Nat had been there with you, there would have been a better chance of getting away with greater speed.

“I will never leave your side again.” Nat declares passionately but you huff a laugh and turn to look at her as she gathers up the skirt of your dress, hooking her arms through it to make ready for you to wear.

“Nat,” You smile. “I love you, and maybe you’re right and things would have been better if you or someone else had been by my side that night. But you cannot be beside me always. You’re a wife now. And even if you cannot be a mother naturally, there are many other ways to have children.���

Nat drops her arms, watching you with a concerned and furrowed brow. She’s clearly focused on you and not herself. You want to remedy that quickly. You love her, how can you allow her to only ever let you be her concern?

“You two must have discussed it?” You prompt, knowing that Bucky would not give up on giving Nat what she most desperately desires. “I know you want to be a mother. You love children.”

She seems to realize that you are not about to let this drop, so she sighs, relaxing a bit.

“I have thought about it.” She nods. “And yes, I do love children but I’m not sure if it’s right for me with the life that Bucky and I lead.”

Your heart aches suddenly, a renewal of Grandmother’s words reminding you that your daughter could lose her father. She so damn right about that.

“I don’t blame you.” You nod, sitting yourself on the end of the bed. “This life that all of you have chosen is one most unwelcome to the traditional family. But it is possible. Father and Mother have Morgana, Lord and Lady Lang have their daughter. Steve and I now have Margaret.

“It may not be ideal, certainly. But possible.” You offer in encouragement.

You don’t want her to give up. You want her to be happy.

Nat looks down at your stocking covered feet and nods.

“You don’t have to. Of course, it is entirely your choice and Bucky’s. I’m not trying to say that you should have children. But if you should you choose to have them, it is possible to live both lives.” You really hope that you’re not putting any pressure on her to raise a child when she might not want to.

Natasha’s inability to have children naturally should not be a hindrance on her desire to be a mother if she should decide to try. There are thousands of children in orphanages across the Kingdoms that would benefit greatly from a loving home that you know Bucky and Nat would provide effortlessly.

At the end of the day however, you know it is their choice.

“I appreciate your support.” Nat admits, gathering your skirts again and then holding them open for you to put your head through. “Truly. It means so much to me that you think I could do a good job. As a mother.”

You stand and stick your head through the dress and begin to pull your arms through the large puffed sleeves as Natasha straightens your skirt.

The neckline is ruffled, heart shaped, and low. The sleeves are also ruffled, small cinches that wrap around your arm mid-bicep leaving your shoulders and neckline exposed. Nat turns you and quickly laces up the back of the dress. She pulls it tight so that there is no chance of it slipping down.

“Isn’t this a little-?”

“You look beautiful.” Natasha smiles, fixing a long pink sash around your waist that she ties into a long loose bow above the curve of your bum. “Shall I braid your hair again?”

Natasha’s hands work fast, her fingers nimble and familiar with your hair’s texture and flow. The skirt is so long and flowing that you wonder if something special has been planned for you to attend as you feel that despite the somewhat casual look of the dress, it also doubles as pretty in that formal sense.

Your fingers find the embroidered pink and white peonies on the bodice that decorate your breast.

“Am I seeing someone special today?” You ask.

“No.” Natasha smiles. “Just us. Lunch is being served in the garden for you, Margaret, and Steve. Bucky and I shall be nearby. Peter will be close too. No one special.”

You huff a laugh as she lists all of the most precious people in your life. “So, only those special to me then?”

Nat chuckles and finishing tying off your hair.

“Lunch is for you, Steve, and Maggie. Steve expressed a wish to spend some quiet time alone with the two of you. He knows he’s been busy the past few weeks racing about chasing leads on this new Hydra weapon. He wants to make it up to you and I know he’d appreciate you in this dress.”

Her explanation makes sense but you’re successfully distracted from the dress by the mention of Hydra.

“How was the search?” You suddenly wonder, remembering Steve’s orders for her and Bucky.

“We’ve spread the word and will go out again tonight to search. I’ll tell you if anyone is found.”

“I’d like to know what’s happening with this.” You turn to her, adjusting within her grip as she reaches down to fuss with your dress. “I need to know, Nat. I can’t be kept in the dark again.”

Natasha drops her hands, placing them on her hips as she considers the look in your eyes.

“You’re not saying something.” She realizes. “What’s troubling you?”

“Nothing.” You say quickly, a shrug thrown her way just to brush off the concern. “I just don’t want any surprises. Not like before. This threat seems insignificant but what if there’s more to this mysterious weapon? I want to know what you’re all walking into.”

“Steve has promised to keep you appraised.” Nat promises you. “I will hold him to his word.”

Slowly, as the truth of her words shines through her eyes, a small smile stretches your lips.

“Thanks, Nat.”

~~~~~~~~~~

As you approach your renovated pavilion, peony blossoms blooming all around in varying shades of pink, you adjust Maggie in your arms.

You’re careful with your own dress. Double-checking the top of your bodice to make sure for the tenth time that you are covered after feeding your daughter. Nat made sure it was tight again but you’re fretting is ceaseless as a mother now.

The corset you’re wearing made especially for you since you are nursing, makes it easy for you to feed her without much fuss. Steve seems to favor it too though you’ve told him to be gentle and he’s avoided enjoying your breasts while you’re focused on raising your little one.

Aside from a loving caress and gentle butterfly kisses when the two of you make love, he’s avoided touching them.

Reaching the stairs, you fix your daughter’s dress—changed to match yours with endless ruffles but the same peony embroidery pattern on her little chest and pink sash around her little waist.

Steve rises quickly, rushing towards you with his arms extended.

Maggie coos excitedly, her little high-pitched squeaks and goos nearly make you swoon as she kicks her little legs excitedly. She’s not exactly screaming yet, but her noises are long and eager.

“There’s my princess.” Steve says proudly, his eyes flooding with love as he takes her into his large arms and kisses her chubby cheek.

He turns her to sit with her little back pressed against his chest and smiles at you while your own eyes are glued to your daughter.

“And my beautiful Queen.” He gushes, pulling your attention away from Maggie as he leans down slowly until he meets your lips with a long slow peck. “How are you?”

His voice is soft and deep. “I’m very well.”

It’s almost a lie.

In this moment, here with Steve and Maggie, you are most definitely well. You’re happy and you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Your heart still weighs a ton with Grandmother’s news.

For a terrible moment as Steve walks away from you to sit down with Maggie on his lap, you remember her words and your knees almost buckle.

With him focused on the little one, you manage to sit yourself down before he can notice.

Rapid footsteps climb the stairs behind you. You turn to find Peter moving in to stand beside you both. He smiles excitedly as he watches Maggie. He, like everyone else in the castle, is head over heels for her.

No one draws a smile quicker than Maggie, even from the gentry that had so readily spread rumors about you.

This makes you happy. Your daughter accepted.

“Cook will be out with your meals shortly, your Majesties.” He informs you both.

“Won’t you join us?” You ask him, but Peter meets Steve’s eyes for a moment then reaches up to scratch behind his head, his cheeks flushing pink.

Clearly Steve had made it clear that he wanted to spend time with you and Maggie alone to more than just Nat. However, there’s something else in that rosy tint in Peter’s cheeks.

“I…I’m actually meeting Morgana in the libraries to help her with her studies. I will cancel with her if you wish me to stay?” He offers, though you see the disappointment in his eyes.

“No.” You hurry to assure him. “No, we’re fine. I just wanted to be sure you ate.”

“Thank you, your Majesty. I believe Cook is sending sandwiches to the library for us.” Peter bows and with an excitement in his step you watch him until he’s out of sight.

“They make a good match.” You smile, turning to take a sip of water from the silver goblet before you.

“Who?” Steve asks, confused. He bounces his leg to keep Maggie occupied while allowing her to hold his finger in her tight tiny fist. She drags it to her mouth and bites it with her gums, yet Steve doesn’t seem to notice.

“Peter and Morgana.”

“Peter and your sister?” Steve asks in shock. “But…she’s so young.”

“She’s fifteen, going on sixteen.” You remind him. “If they are engaged this year that will still leave them with two years of courtship before they’re married. That is the custom in Malibia.

She’ll be eighteen by then and Peter will be twenty-four. Some people would say those are two ages perfect for marrying.”

Despite the pleasant picture you paint, Steve’s frown only grows.

“What?” You chuckle, reaching into your skirts to find the pocket where you’d placed a few small towels for Maggie’s constant drooling.

You offer Steve the towel but he’s still frowning? No…he’s pouting! You get up and move around to wipe her chin before placing the towel in Steve’s hand.

“Why are you pouting?”

“I’m not pouting.” Steve grumbles.

It makes you laugh again. “Steve…”

“Maggie will not be getting engaged until she’s at least twenty.” He suddenly declares. “I’ll lock her up in the West tower until she’s that age and only then will I allow her to entertain the idea of a suitor.”

“Are you worried that you’ll only have her for sixteen years?” You chuckle, watching the worry in his eyes as he cradles Maggie closer, stroking her rounded cheeks with gentle thumbs.

“She’s mine right now.” Steve laments, looking down at her as she continues to chew on his finger. “I don’t want to part with her. I’ve waited so long for her for some boy to come take her from me.”

“Oh, my darling.” You chuckle but this time with full sympathy for his heartbreak. “We will have lots of time with her. And even after she marries, she will always be our daughter.”

Steve’s eyes are glued to her little face and he completely doesn’t notice Cook come up to serve your meal. A few roast chickens with potatoes and carrots.

You eat in silence but quickly. Enjoying the sight of him growing more and more enamored with your daughter. Steve doesn’t seem to notice the time slip by as he distracts her with the towel you’d handed him.

She chatters about nothing in her baby speak, drawing smiles and chuckles from your husband.

Finally, you eat your last carrot and slide your chair back.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him, rising to your feet knowing you have no reason to be sorry. He’s so in love with her. Luckily, you’ve still managed to eat fast enough that the food is still warm for him. “I should hire a maid to watch her when we eat.”

It’s true that you’ll eventually need to hire someone to take care of her when you must deal with kingdom affairs too. You’re so reluctant to let someone else care for her. Just as Steve claims her passionately, you feel just as he does. She’s yours.

“Not yet.” Steve counters, letting you take her from him. He adjusts in his chair, wipes his hand then proceeds to eat, stealing glances at both of you as you move towards the benches that line the inner edge of the pavilion.

Everything is so perfect. So lovely.

You’re almost content in this moment, with your little girl in your arms and Steve sharing a meal with you. You’re very nearly happy until you look at him and like a raging storm Grandmother’s words destroy your fragile peace once more.

Steve is going to die.

He turns to you and smiles. He smiles at Maggie. He confesses his love for you both with it pouring from his eyes and while your heart aches, you vow to do anything to stop this new threat from taking him away.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Come to bed.” Steve pleads.

You glance at him through your looking glass, a hazy image because of the distance from your small table to the bed. The silver is in need of polishing or perhaps replacing. You don’t dare speak this thought aloud though.

Knowing Steve, he’d simply buy you a wall full of mirrors and you can’t have that.

Even blurry he’s a vision, an absolute fucking sight to behold with your daughter at the center of your bed his fingers tickling her tummy as she kicks her little legs excitedly. Her little hands absentmindedly stroking his arm.

He’s on his side, shirtless. His lower body hidden beneath the sheets of your bed as he lays naked underneath.

Despite that delectable fact, your eyes are glued to his gentle smile as he takes his hand and gently strokes the length of Maggie’s little nose. He’s noticed how that lulls her to sleep and does it to her every night to send her off when he’s not busy in meetings.

You finish tending to your hair, braiding it back once again to keep out of the way for your little one. When you turn in your seat to look at them, you find Maggie’s movements slowed. Her eyes are closing, little rosebud lips left open slightly.

She’s already fed and content. Your happy baby, so protected and cherished.

Despite his attentions to your daughter that you’ve spent the last ten minutes watching, when you look at him you find Steve’s eyes on you.

“Come to bed.” He urges you, a small twinkle of desire hidden in the tranquility of these moments he spends with Maggie but stares at you.

“Are you trying for a second?” You ask him, teasing as you rise and move to the bed. You know that look well by now.

Steve’s expression suddenly shift, concern etched across his face.

“Am I rushing you?” He asks, reaching for you as you kneel on the bed and gather your nightdress up so as not to trip on it. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He’s thinking of this morning, already having had you in his den.

Since you’d given birth, he’s been so careful with you. Even when you’d assured him you were ready to be intimate with him again, he’d hesitated. Worried about hurting you or rushing your body into doing things you should not be doing.

Your smile only grows, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you settle in on Maggie’s right. She doesn’t even stir. Steve’s hand remains around your forearm, fingers gently caressing your skin.

“Why do you laugh?” He asks, his mouth perking at the corners despite his worry.

“You are not like any man I’ve ever met or heard of.” You confess. “Some of the women in Bright Rise, when they still spoke with me, would tell me about their husbands. They were like you were at the beginning of our marriage. Worse, as they took without care for their wives’ wishes. Some of them were always pregnant now that I think about it. Always trailed by a line of toddlers and children.

“The men didn’t care about their wives’ bodies or how their need to satiate their hungers affected the other.” You shake your head. “Some of the women even confessed to me that they took on lovers to find the enjoyment in fucking again.”

“Something you would have been forced to do had I continued in my foolish ways.” Steve suggests, unphased by your still somewhat rural tongue.

“Maybe…in the future. It would have taken me years of neglect to get to that point.” You nod, “Even with Thor, his touch was…unwelcome. He didn’t force me, but I did not feel right accepting his affections. I’m married. Even unhappy that wasn’t something I took lightly.”

Steve’s hand moves up to the top of your arm then slowly he drags it down to your wrist.

“Were you always this considerate? I mean, before me?” You wonder, looking deep into his storm blue eyes. “Say with Margaret? Or, perhaps the other women you were with before we married?”

Steve turns, laying himself on his back.

He releases your arm and gently strokes the length of his chest, fingers dancing across the tuft of blonde hair that rails all the way down below where the blanket ends at his waist. His other hand he shoves underneath his head as he thinks.

You wait patiently for him to be ready to speak. You’ve never asked him about his habits with other women in bed.

He steals several quick looks your way which tells you he’s nervous about answering you. Wary, in case it should prompt a fight. You can see the moment he decides to give in. His lips part a little, they stutter, then he speaks.

“Margaret was strong.” He states plainly, as if that explains it all.

You wait.

“Not that you aren’t!” He rushes to say, sitting up as gently as he can to keep from waking your daughter.

Maggie still stirs and whimpers. You place your hand on her chest and soothe her until she stills again.

“Can you put her in her bed?” You begin to sit up too, ready to do it yourself but Steve is faster, rushing so that you won’t have to.

“Of course! I’ll get her.” He gently scoops her up into his arms then quickly moves around to your side of the bed as you follow them with your eyes, turning your body as they go.

Gently he places her in her crib and tucks her in, shushing and soothing her as she complains then goes silent once more.

She isn’t too close, but you can still see her from your spot on the bed. Steve double checks by looking at you to see if you can still see her.

When he’s satisfied that you can, he moves back to you, crawling over you and stopping to give the tip of your nose a kiss as he goes before plopping himself down on his side once again. This time he reaches for you, grabby hands tracing the shape of your curves as he pulls you a little closer.

“What I meant, is that Margaret was willful. She knew what she wanted, and she made certain that everyone else knew so too.” He clears his throat, suddenly nervous again. “In bed, she was just as certain of herself.

“Even though I made the first move, she was the one who took charge in our physical relationship. I knew that if something were to go wrong or if she was tired or too ill to be with me intimately, she would tell me.”

You listen without judgement and try to keep your face clear of all emotions other than the love you have for him. Even through this conversation, your heart pounds with dread as it repeats Grandmother’s words over and over, reminding you that every moment with Steve is precious.

“I never had to worry about Margaret’s body because she never had to compromise it for me. I did worry for her, but not in the same way.” Steve says, probably thinking about the risks that Margaret would have taken as part of the Avengers.

“And the other women?” You wonder.

“There weren’t many.” Steve assures you, looking down at your chest in embarrassment. “Only two.”

“You were grieving Margaret.” You nod, understanding. “That doesn’t mean you aren’t a man.”

Steve is silent for a moment, resting his head in his hand as he uses his elbow to prop himself up. With his other hand he traces nervous circles in the blanket between you.

“They were visiting ladies. Ladies who, like Margaret, knew what they wanted.” Steve sighs the lunges softly towards you, pushing you onto your back so suddenly it makes you gasp and then laugh.

As he settles his body halfway over yours, he smiles down at you.

His hands caress the sides of your face before he trails one hand along your sides, grabbing you with intent. You can feel the desire in his touch.

“Court ladies are all playing a game. It’s a language they speak that you don’t know.” Steve sighs heavily. “A set of rules that I’m glad you do not understand. You are nothing like them and I love you for it.”

“They had husbands?” You realize.

“Yes.” Steve nods. “Men who are too distracted by their own infidelities or too busy grasping at power to pay their wives any mind. With both of them it was only one night. It came and went so quickly I can barely remember them. I don’t even think I could tell you their names.”

His face grows solemn, sad as if remembering a painful memory that has since lost its sting but not the emotion of sorrow. “I didn’t enjoy myself. I was driven by lust, but I didn’t even…I made sure they were satisfied and left it at that.”

“Mm. You felt guilty.” You nod, understanding as you watch his full lips. The lower is so much bigger than the upper. You reach up and trace it, loving the soft plumpness of it.

“Does it not make you jealous?” He wonders, relaxing more of his weight onto you. “Does it not upset you?”

You meet his eyes again, a smile stretched across your face. You can see that he wants to know you’re jealous. He wants to know that you want him as much as he wants you.

So much progress…is this truly the man you married?

“Only as much as it would upset any wife to hear her beloved husband talk about his past adventures in fucking other women.”

Steve groans and buries his face into the side of your neck, wrapping his arms around you as you also wrap yours around his shoulders. You chuckle, caressing the back of his head.

“So, the concern is not normal?” You realize, feeling better but also worried that you’re not seeing the real Steve. That maybe he’s acting this way with you while acting a completely different way with everyone else.

Is this not who he is?

“No, the concern is normal.” Steve says, muffled against your skin, making you feel almost instantly better.

He pulls back to look down at you again.

“What I’m saying is that every woman that I have been with until you has never given me cause to be concerned. I didn’t hurt them the way I hurt you.” He frowns. “I didn’t take what they weren’t willing to give.”

You look away this time, the solemnity coming from you now. The shift of conversation making your heart ache. When you speak, your voice is quiet, subdued with the reminder of your wedding night.

“I wasn’t unwilling.” You correct him because you hadn’t been. Not that first night or any night after.

Your line was not one clearly drawn, certainly. You’d slept with him out of duty but that hadn’t meant you didn’t want to. He’s the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in your life. Of course, you’d wanted him.

You hadn’t told him no. You’d only told him to slow down. You know that for him, for Nat, for everyone who found out—that slow down had been enough. It should have been enough to stop him.

“You know what I mean.” Steve says, placing both his hands on the sides of your face to tilt your head back until you look at him. “I wounded you. I took something that was not mine to take.”

“But it was yours to take.” You correct him again, and he growls in his throat at you before shaking his head, the pain leaving his eyes to be replaced by admiration.

“I can still feel you, trembling and sobbing in my arms. I was disgusted with myself. I couldn’t believe that I could do that to anyone. And you were so…so kind and gentle. So eager to please and I took advantage of that.” Steve confesses. All of his thoughts spilling out of him like water. “I had turned this beautiful, sweet princess into a sobbing, fearful, and wounded creature. I was so consumed by my grief over Margaret and my anger at having to marry again when I wasn’t ready to do so that I wanted it over. In that moment, I didn’t care about the sweet woman beneath me.

“And even after I hurt you, when I came to see you, despite your fear your only concern was for the tears I shed.”

It takes a moment to find your voice, but you do. You swallow hard.

“I’d never seen a man cry.” You confess. “Much less a king.”

“I meant every tear.” Steve insists. “If I could take that night back, I would. If I could redo every night since, I would. I am concerned for you above anyone else, because in you I saw my darkest self and I never want to be that man for you again. I never want to hurt you.”

The two of you lapse into emotional but pleasant silence. Both hearts beating strongly against each other as his chest is pressed firmly against your own.

At last, you smile, a chuckle spilling from your lips as you reach up and tuck his hair behind his ear. It’s getting long again.

“Have you always made these long speeches? Or is that reserved for me as well?” You check, mostly just teasing.

Steve’s lips curl up, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I make sure to give every pretty woman I see a lengthy speech. Whether they’re enjoyable is a different matter.”

You bite your lip, glaring at him but only in jest. Quickly he dips down to kiss your lips, letting it linger for a moment before he pulls back only a bit so that when he speaks, his lips are fluttering against your own.

“My declarations of love, however, are entirely yours alone.” He whispers. “Tell me to stop and I will obey, my Queen.”

His right hand moves down, searching until it finds the hem of your nightdress which he begins to tug up until he finds the top of your leg. He traces the dip of flesh there, tickling your skin in search of your already yearning core.

As his fingers make contact, you gasp into his slightly open mouth and it draws his attention back up to your face. He licks your lips, just a gentle flick of the tip of his tongue before he kisses you, sinking it into your depths where you meet his eager kiss with your own.

You moan quietly, a whimper of yearning as his fingers spread your folds and begin to explore you. The noises his hand makes absolutely sinful.

Eager for his touch, you bring your knees up. You spread your legs for him, and he pulls out of the kiss to slide down along your body. He does down, down, down until he’s settled between your legs.

He grabs one and throws it over his left shoulder, then the other over his right. He kisses your thighs, trailing his tongue in small circles before every gentle pucker. The anticipation curls your toes as he moves closer and closer to your cunt.

“Steve…” You whisper, aware of the baby asleep in her crib and your need to keep quiet so that she can sleep.

He dives in, his tongue making one long swipe of your dripping core.

You gasp, curling up towards him as your body is sent into shivers.

He grabs hold of your thighs roughly, pulling you hard against his face. Opening his mouth, he suckles on your clit, the gentle sound of his sucking filling your limbs with fire.

As much as you enjoy his mouth where it is, there’s an impatience that wages war within you.

After months of waiting to enjoy sleeping with him, now that you do, it makes you eager to have him within you.

“Steve, please…” You beg, reaching down and tugging on his hair.

He likes that, growling a little at the lusty whisper that is your plea.

Pressing kisses along the length of your body while he shoves your nightdress up higher and higher, he finally helps you pull it off before taking your breasts within his mouth.

His lips are soft against them, gentle in their suckling as he knows how painful you can find it now.

When you whimper from the soreness, he steals a quick look at you to make sure you aren’t in too much pain before he simply kisses them around the nipple.

You run your hand over his hair, a promise that someday he’ll be able to enjoy your breasts again. He reads your reassurance but dismisses it as he rushes to meet your lips in a demanding kiss.

Without warning he pushes into you. He stretches you, filling you up so pleasantly that you throw your head back but swallow the moan you’d normally release.

Fuck…Your mind supplies, nails raking along the scarred flesh of his shoulders.

“Fuck…” Steve groans into your ear, stopping once he’s buried within you. Great minds think alike, you guess.

“Don’t stop.” You beg and wrap your left arm around his shoulders while the other reaches down as far as it can to grab as much of his bum as possible and pull him close.

He starts slowly, letting you both relish in the silky way his cock slides out of you then back in.

“Kiss me.” You tell him, needing his mouth to silence the moans you feel bound to make.

He obliges, roughly meeting your lips with a frenzied and lustful kiss as he loses himself within you.

He doesn’t pound into you the way he did at the cottage. He knows he shouldn’t, so he doesn’t. Even though you want it, you’re grateful for his forethought and instead focus on the way he seems to know which angles to adjust so that his cock not only pierces you but presses against the most sensitive spots inside of you.

He moves faster, reaching down to massage your clit as he kisses his way down your neck.

The moment is sudden, and it surprises you when your body goes tense for a moment as your climax washes over you.

You pull Steve down against you, gripping him hard as you hold him tight while your body is overcome.

Steve continues to push into you. Faster as he realizes that you’ve reached your limit. He grunts as he picks up speed, tracing the shape of your back down to your ass where he takes hold of it, fingers digging into the muscle.

He pulls up a little, searching for your lips with his own, tongue delving into your mouth as you give him what he wants. Both of you moan into each other, muffled and needy until Steve’s body stutters and his heat spills into you over and over.

He thrusts with each burst of ecstasy that overtakes him. His groans grow lazy. His body loose. Your own is already numb and you go still beneath him as he trails lazy kisses along the misty skin of your neck and shoulders.

He sighs, laying his head against your clavicle where he relaxes on top of you, your hands gently stroking his back.

You steal a glance at Maggie in her crib, but she’s sound asleep. It relaxes you to know she’s unbothered and without meaning to, you and Steve both fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

A loud thumping makes you twitch. It sounds distant but it startles you anyway.

In your arms, something large moves.

Your sleepy mind reminds you that it’s Steve and you sigh in your semi-sleep as your hands enjoy the feel of his hot body still resting on top of your own.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The thumping returns, this time louder and clearer.

A quiet whine to your right wakes you more quickly than the thumping and like you’ve been stunned with Thor’s lightning, you spring up from the bed, quickly sliding out from beneath Steve who also whines at your moving but peeks up at you as you rise.

“Whereyewgoin?” He asks, still mostly asleep.

“Go back to sleep.” You whisper to him from beside Maggie’s crib.

BOOM! BOOM-BOOM!

The thumping, which is actually a knocking on your door you realize, repeats.

Maggie whines again and you frown.

“Who’s there?” Steve asks towards the door, his voice more annoyed then upset.

“It’s Agatha, your Majesty.” One of the guards outside speaks.

“Don’t speak for me.” Grandmother’s voice grumbles.

“I’m sorry, your Majesty.” The guard says nervously, probably worried about the knocking, which means that was Grandmother and not the guard.

You look at Steve as Maggie begins to wake, her cries soft but rising as you continue to try and soothe her but now only halfheartedly.

Fear grips you, stealing you of your voice as you stare at your husband. Your little girl’s cries grow louder as she wakes but you’re frozen in place, terrified of what Grandmother could not wait until the morning to tell you.

“What, my flower?” Steve suddenly asks, sliding to the edge of the bed towards you.

“I…I should see what she wants.” You whisper, afraid to speak any louder despite your daughter already being awake.

“Go.” Steve urges you, grabbing your nightdress and moving towards you. He offers it to you as he reaches you. “I’ll put Maggie back to sleep.”

You take the nightdress with trembling hands. If Steve notices he doesn’t say so, but you don’t think he does as he’s already lifting Maggie from the crib, moving back towards the bed.

You dress in a hurry, then move to grab Steve’s robe as it’s closer and pull it over your body.

You’re tying it closed as the door opens upon your approach and find Grandmother pacing the hallway behind the two guards assigned to keep you and Maggie safe.

After what happened with Pierce, Steve is taking no chances.

“Grandmother?” You check, voice stronger but still just as terrified.

“We must speak.” She tells you, her voice strong and her eyes full of severity.

With a tentative nod you have her follow you into Steve’s den next door, shutting the door securely before you move into the room and offer her a seat in front of Steve’s desk.

“No.” She waves your offer off, pacing as you take a seat because your legs are weak again. “I have found a solution.”

“So quickly?” You gasp, hands balled into tight fists on your lap as you watch her pace.

“The sooner the better I would think in this situation. This is nothing like I have ever done before.” She admits. “It will take all of my power to do it.”

“It…will it hurt you?” You wonder, worried for her withered body.

“Probably not.” She shakes her head. “No way to know for sure. But it’s something I’m willing to die for.”

“What?” You gasp, suddenly terrified of losing her.

Finally, Grandmother stops her pacing and moves to stand before you.

“This threat is greater than I first thought.” She admits, slowly sitting herself down in the seat beside yours, turning it so that she can face you. “We cannot allow this power to grow. We can either stop it here, right now. Or we can let your husband stop it later. If we allow him to do it, it will take his life. There is no doubt in my mind of that. There will be others. He will not be the only to perish.

“Stopping this threat now is for everyone’s benefit and if I must pay with my life to save many others, I will do so willingly.” She declares.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” You shake your head, your emotions already raw.

“You’re not asking me, girl. I’m telling you that I must do it. I have already made my choice, now the only choice left to make is your own.” She fixes her gaze on you and you find you cannot look away.

“My own choice?”

“You asked me to save him. To ensure that he will live, a great sacrifice must be made. Separate from my own. I will provide the power, the strength for the incantation. Something else must be given for it to succeed.” Grandmother explains.

Your mind springs into action, thinking of the one thing you have of worth to give. Your life.

“So, I’ll…I’ll die?” You whisper, already in sorrow for leaving your husband and child.

“No.” Grandmother says. “No, I’m certain you will live.”

“Then what?”

“The price is impossible to know. It could be anything.” Grandmother gestures at you, looking you over from head to toe. “It could be your sight. Your ability to hear. Your voice. Your ability to walk. Whatever it is, it will be a great price to pay. Only you can choose to pay it but unless you do, I cannot go forward with the spell.”

“C-can I choose? Can I decide what it is that I sacrifice?” You hope, but what would you choose? What do you possibly have that could be worth your husband’s life?

“No. The magics will choose what to take. It will be equal to what it is you ask for, but only the magics can choose what that value is.” Grandmother explains.

This is impossible. This is unbelievable. This is torture.

You have to pay a price without knowing what it will be?

You know that your answer is yes. You’ll pay it. Whatever the price, you will give it willingly if it will save Steve’s life.

“I will pay it.” You nod. “Of course, I will. Yes.”

Grandmother takes your hand and squeezes it, a knowing look in her eyes. “I knew you would.”

She rises and you follow. Your hands feel weak but with the decision now made, you now it’s right and feel settled that you know this will soon be resolved.

Before the old woman can make it to the door, you reach out and grab her wrist, stopping her before she can leave.

“Grandmother…” You begin, waiting for her to turn.

She doesn’t. “Don’t get sentimental.” She says, voice strong though you’re sure that you can hear a small sadness in her tone.

“I want to thank you…for taking care of me. For loving me. I know that you could not always be there when I was young but you’re here now. Thank you.” You whisper, scared to speak louder in case you begin to cry. “I-I just wanted you to know. In case I cannot say it later or if you-”

You can’t even speak the words. She won’t die. She can’t.

With one withered hand, she reaches down and places it over your own. She gives you a squeeze, her hands trembling but reassuring.

“I don’t know when the spell will take effect. Go. Sleep soundly. Hold them close.” Grandmother advises then pushes your hand off her arm and disappears into the sleeping castle.

The very short walk back to your bedroom feels as if it takes forever. The guard make no comment as they open your door for you and you wander in, eyes searching for the loves of your life.

You find Steve snuggled up close to Maggie, his head pressed against the side of her own, his hand on her tummy and his eyes closed.

Maggie is not sleeping. She’s staring up at the ceiling with her little legs kicking gently as she coos and babbles her baby speak. One of her little hands is closed tightly around Steve’s finger, holding tight. As you move towards them, you notice how her hand doesn’t even close around his finger completely. She’s so small still. So fragile.

What if you can’t hold her after paying the price? What if you can’t hear her babble? What if you can’t see her little face or the way her eyes light up and her toothless smile spreads across her face as she spots you?

Just as she does now, she lets out a louder “Goo…” as she spots you and her legs go into a frenzy as she flails her limbs frantically.

You don’t want to cry but you feel the rush of sorrow overwhelm you. Quickly, before Steve can see, you drop onto the bed still wearing his robe and pull Maggie towards you. You hug her and turn her towards you, burying your face against her tiny chest.

Her little hands grab at you, whatever part of your head they can, and she pulls your ears, tugs your hair, scratches against your cheek but you don’t care. You inhale her scent, memorizing it just in case you lose the ability to smell.

After you’re sure you could never forget it, you tickle her sides until she’s giggling lightly, small bubbles and whines of amusement. It’s not a full laugh. She hasn’t done that for you yet. What if you never get to hear it?

You memorize this one anyway, put it away and lock it up within your heart where you know you will always be able to recall the pure sound of her innocence.

It takes every ounce of will power within you to stifle your desire to sob. Still, you manage it and when you’re certain you can face him, you pull back a bit to look at your daughter’s beautiful face.

She’s all Steve. You hardly recognize anything in her looks of you. She’s gorgeous. Pretty blonde hair, just like Steve’s only slightly darker in shade.

Her eyes are a piercing blue. Lighter than Steve’s but just as observant. She watches you, reaches out for your face where she places a small hand on your nose then slides it down to your lips which she casually grabs and releases before her eyes find her hand and she brings it to her mouth to taste.

You watch her for so long, you’re sure that it must nearly be morning, but the sky continues to be dark outside the windows of your room.

You sing to your little one. A quit lullaby that you hope she’ll remember if you can never speak to her again. You tell her you love her and sing some more.

She drifts off eventually, her little mouth open as she sleeps.

Finally, you turn your eyes on Steve, yearning to see him almost to an unnatural amount. You have never doubted it but in this moment as your eyes find him staring right back at you, you realize how much you truly love him. How much he’s changed your life.

Your world has grown since you met him. He’s changed you forever.

Will the sacrifice be your life? Will you be leaving them behind? Will you be wounding him again, just as Margaret had?

Even though Grandmother said it wouldn’t be, you can’t help but wonder and worry that you might very well be spending the last moments you’ll ever have with him and Maggie now.

What if you close your eyes and they should never open again?

At least she would have him. Maggie wouldn’t be alone. She would have her father. And he would have her.

If by some chance her father should also leave her behind, she’d have Nat and Bucky. She’d have Sam and Peter. She’d have the entire team to care for her. Father and Mother would probably try and take her to Malibia.

She would never need to worry about her meals or whether she could survive frigid winter temperatures. She would be protected and loved even if you aren’t around to make sure she is.

Steve blinks slowly. He’s sleepy but he’s trying to stay awake because you’re awake.

You’re not sure if he can tell that something is wrong, but you push yourself up towards him. You’re careful as you hover over Maggie, reaching to hook your hand behind his neck as he also pushes himself up and towards you.

You kiss him, slow and smooth until your heart begins to ache and your hand squeezes around his neck.

You kiss him with a bit more fervor and though he returns it, when you pull away, his brow is narrowed in confusion. Subtle concern.

“I love you.” You whisper to him, reaching down to trace the shape of his bottom lip with your thumb. You kiss him again. “I love you, forever.”

It’s a promise you have every intention of honoring. Will he love you even if you can’t talk? Will he love you if you can’t hear? Will he still love you if you are not the woman you are now?

You know that you can overcome anything. You can embrace a new way of living so long as it means that Steve and Maggie are safe. But will he see it that way? Will he love you for the woman you will become?

“You’re my entire world, Y/N.” He whispers back almost as if he can hear your thoughts and he wants to put you at ease.

His lips curl up at the corns softly as he blinks even slower than before as sleep begins to pull him under. “You and Maggie are my life.”

Your lip trembles as his eyes shut and do not open again, his head falling to his pillow.

“I love you…so…” He trails off, his words lost to dreams.

You stare at him and then Maggie. All night you stare at them, memorizing the way they breathe and smell. If you’re going to be changed forever, you’re going to remember this moment and cherish it until the day you die.

You will never forget it.

~~~~~~~~~~

1 Year & 3 Months Later

The sun is beaming. It’s strong. July is hot, even more so than normal. You groan as you look up to the sky and shield your eyes from the blinding light.

For a moment your mind goes hazy, full of fog. Something changes as it always does. Something shifts.

Something tugs at the corners of your mind. Something blurry and demanding. You get this way every single time you come here.

Every time you fill the wooden bucket, there’s a flash of something familiar.

You focus on the tug, allowing it to unearth the secret that eludes you.

There’s a quick flash that you don’t quite see. A golden hue. A storm blue circle.

Then your bucket overflows and the water splashes your feet, drenching your newly mended shoes.

They’re too small for your feet but it’s all you have.

“Damn.” You sigh, grunting as you lift the bucket and place it on the damp bank of the river.

Across the barren field, your little hut just at the opposite edge nestled into a grove of forest trees, Bright Rise begins to wake.

Another day, another scramble to find a way to keep your belly full.

“Time to check the traps.” You sigh, groaning as you lift the bucket and begin the trek back to your little hovel in the only village you’ve ever known.

The place you were born, but most definitely not home.

Your heart tells you that somewhere out there…somewhere else, your true home waits.

(THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! One more to go!)

[aliensunflower-fics]

Adrien ‘Amok’ Agreste: A dark theory/prompt

I believe that there is something more to Emilie Agreste's coma. I believe that there is something more to the broken peacock pin. I believe that the Adrien Agreste that we know and love is an amok. And that he has been for a very long time. In fact, I believe that the original Adrien Agreste is dead, and has been for many many years.

Why do I believe this? Simple, I believe that when the show tells me that THE wish Gabriel so desires would have consequences that they aren't just saying the wish has consequences but rather that all magic may have consequences. Wielding the power of the gods must surely come with a price to pay. And I believe Emilie Agreste paid that price with her very life. All so that 'Adrien' could become real. Now I base this on the fact that the wish would have consequences but also on what I can see in the show. Marinette has terrible luck, her gifts always backfire, her best-laid plans blow up in her face, sure she has a loving family but even they think she's so clumsy that they don't fully trust her. I believe that Tikki is eating Marinette's luck. What about Plagg and Adrien? Well if I'm correct then I'm not sure how Amok Adrien wielding a miraculous could work but id easily argue that Adrien has a tendency to destroy that which is most important to him, we have all seen the other timelines, after all.

But enough about that. Let's get to the meat of the topic. Emilie Agreste and a certain peacock brooch. I don't think Emilie simply collapsed from a broken pin [though I do believe it is what was making Nathalie sick.] I think the pin was once completely fine, unbroken, and fully functional. And I think Emilie Agreste was used to using it, bringing toys to life for young Adrien's entertainment! In order to pay her price, Duusu would take just a bit of Emilie's life force not enough to impact the woman's life much, but she'd be tired at the end of the day, too exhausted to do much of anything physically. But I think she was friends Duusu, and loved hearing and seeing Adrien laugh and play amazed by his mother's magic!

And then Adrien Agreste died. And in order to bring him back, I believe Emilie broke the rules of the peacock, she defied the temporary nature of the magic and in-exchange for her very own life she gave birth for a second time to Adrien, an amok with the true soul of a human. Of course, this sucked out Emilie's own life leaving her an empty shell, and as for Duusu and the miraculous? After having its magic so violated it broke and went dormant, waiting for the day that Mayura would appear. Only because the miraculous was still broken it began sapping away more of the woman's health than it would have otherwise had it been whole.

I believe Gabriel knew of the Miraculous and what they could do but never thought much of it until it was too late. I think Emilie kept what she did, a secret a dark, and when Gabriel found her unconscious that the broken pin was his only clue leading him to believe that it was his mistake allowing a strange magical artifact into his home in the first place.

Now with that explanation, I present to you my dark little prompt on how Emilie and Adrien Agreste died:

Adrien Agreste died on his 5th birthday. His father was at work until that evening, and there was no party [they had all agreed to have the party in two days when it was the weekend and everyone was free]. In order to keep Adrien entertained and make his birthday extra special Emilie had transformed using Duusu and was using her powers to bring to life Adrien's toys. It wasn't the first time she'd done this but she kept the occurrences rare, a special treat, and a special secret that they were NEVER to tell Daddy about! Adrien was good at keeping secrets and loved playing with the 'friends' his mother would make him. She'd reenact fairytales for him she'd chase him around. It was special it was fun, it was everything Emilie ever wanted.

And then something went wrong.

Maybe Adrien slipped and fell, maybe he was reckless and hid in a dangerous spot without knowing, maybe when they stopped for lunch he ate something he was allergic to. All you need to know is Adrien Agreste died on that day, his mother screaming and crying and begging for everything to just be a bad dream. She NEEDED it to be a bad dream. Adrien was her life, her soul, her reason for being. She did not want another child she wanted HER child her precious perfect baby boy! And then perhaps it was something Duusu said, perhaps the idea came over her like a possession. But in that moment despite Duusu's pleading, despite knowing the risks, despite the fact that reality was staring her in the face. She transformed and called for every ounce of magic she had and she commanded the miraculous to bend to her will twisting and breaking the magic and its laws. And when the feather sunk into Adrien's lifeless corpse it jolted and twitched and was overcome. And suddenly there he was! Her bouncing perfect happy baby boy! He jumped into his mama's arms and she laughed and twirled him holding him closer to herself. She had FIXED him, everything was okay now. That night Gabriel returned trying in vain to hide a massive teddy bear behind his back. He laughed and smiled when Adrien his 'son' ran up to greet him and cling to his legs. He never noticed how tired Emilie looked.

But unknown to her the smallest crack had appeared in the miraculous. And it would only grow.

Adrien was fragile. As she would come to learn. Two days after the day he died they were all celebrating at the boy's late birthday party, Chloe, Felix and Adrien were playing. Chasing each other around and having fun while only Emilie looked after them, Gabriel was inside away from the children catching up with Audrey, Andre, and Amelie's husband. Amelie her sister had gone to get them drinks saying she'd be right back. And then Adrien tripped on his untied shoelace and hit his head. And then he didn't get up. His body twitched and shook, Chloe screamed and ran inside, while Felix tripped and fell to the ground unable to tear his eyes away while his cousin seemed to melt away revealing SOMETHING. Emilie ran to her childs side calling all of Duusu's magic into her hands. By the time Gabriel made it outside 'Adrien' was just fine with only a little scratch and a bit of blood on his perfect little head. Emilie smiled tiredly and told Audrey and her husband that Chloe had just gotten a little scared when Adrien fell and started crying. Chloe tried to deny the claim, tried to say Adrien's body had been OOZING something but her parents simply rolled their eyes and told her to stop being dramatic about a little blood. Felix meanwhile ran into his mothers arms and said he wanted to go home. The sisters shared jokes about how dramatic children could be!

Emilie thought that would be the end of it. But it would happen several times each time she would just barely be able to call on the magic to keep Adrien together, and each time she was very VERY lucky that Gabriel had missed it. But it was clear to Emilie that Adrien was too fragile for school, she needed to keep her child home where she could keep him safe and sound. And so when it came time for Adrien's annual check up Emilie volunteered to take him alone after all Gabriel was a busy man he needed to focus on work right now, so that one day Adrien could inherit the company! The doctor she chose looked perfect on paper, but all it took was a little cash to convince the man that Adrien was a sickly weak child who's health would suffer if he were to attend public school. When Emilie returned home with the bad news her husband was concerned un-sure if they shouldn't perhaps try to get a second opinion after all Adrien seemed fine! He was such an energetic happy boy! Emilie felt guilt gnaw at her insides as for the next month she distracted her husband with excuses and lies, finally he saw it her way and told Adrien himself that they would have to break their promise he would not be going to public school. Adrien threw tantrum but Emilie ended it easily. Adrien was always SO well behaved for her, he always listened to EVERYTHING she said. Her perfect baby boy, who was going to be safe now, safe and home.

As the years wore on Emilie grew weaker, unknown to her the miraculous she wore had gained cracks and fissures another one for each and everytime she defied the laws of nature to keep her 'perfect' child alive and well. Duusu had tried many times over the years to make the woman see reason until finally she grew tired of the arguing and commanded the little god to stay quiet and listen to her every word. Duusu had no choice but to nod and continue watching as Emilie destroyed her own soul, giving her life piece by piece to the amok she called 'son'.

And Adrien? Well he was PERFECT. He grew up just like Emilie wanted, he looked just like she always thought he would as a child, he never spoke out of turn, never fought her for anything, he was polie, kind, innocent, sweet, a romantic like herself, he was like a prince from the fairytale books she used to read him every single night. He learned everything so quickly it made Emilie glow in pride. It was like Adrien had become everything she ever wanted and hoped for. Gabriel was just as proud though he sometimes admited he was envious at how Adrien seemed to listen to his mother more then he listened to his dear old dad. Emilie would just laugh and say it was because Adrien was a momma's boy and that it would change when he got older. But she honestly hoped it never did. After all her son was perfect the way he was now! And who wouldn't want a perfect son?

And then it was his birthday again.

Just like all those many years ago, Gabriel was busy with work. It was just her and Adrien yet again. They plaid piano, they watched her movie, they read books together, it was perfect just perfect. And then... It wasn't.

The second time Adrien died. Nothing went wrong. He got up to get his mother a cup of tea and then he was on the floor. Emilie ran to his side and called for the magic to keep him sustained like she had every single time before for so many years. But the miraculous glitched and sputtered too broken to listen to the command. Emilie was forced to watch as her now teenage son, her perfect wonderful flawless son, dissolved away. Until the only thing that remained was the body of a 5 year old taken too soon from the cold cruel world. He hadn't changed at all. Still like she saw him all those years ago. Still dead.

And for the first time ever Emilie allowed herself to weep and allowed reality to break into her perfect wonderful life. Adrien was dead. He'd been dead this whole time, the boy she raised the boy she loved he was a being of her own making. A creature she had burdened with all her hopes and dreams a creature she had shaped into a perfect ideal son. But Adrien... Her Adrien. He hadn't been a perfect child. He'd been reckless, he'd been overdramatic, he threw tantrums, he pouted and wailed and was naive, sometimes he just would not listen to her. And when he'd died she had not only refused to accept his death, but she'd refused to acknowledge who he actually was. The Adrien she'd been raising was a pretty lie, a perfect painting covering a rotting canvas. So she cried and screamed and wailed. She mourned her child, the real and the fake. She mourned her marriage had Gabriel even noticed how sick and weak she was? She mourned for the years she would not have and the things she would not see.

And Duusu. Duusu who had tried to warn the woman, Duusu who had been her dearest friend once upon a time, Duusu who already knew what she was going to do, Duusu who felt tired his body aching as his miraculous broke more with each act of twisted magic, Duusu who laid his little paw on Emilie's cheek and cried his own tears and gave the woman a solemn nod.

Just once more Emilie called for the magic and just once more she twisted it and broke it and shaped it. But this time she let go, she let go of all restraint, this time she let go of her own soul, this time she let go of who she wanted Adrien to be and instead remembered who he WAS. This time, this very last time she would for the third time gave birth to another life. The first had been Adrien, the second had been what she wanted him to be, and this last time he would be who he wanted to be. The feather again sunk into the childs body.

When Adrien awoke his head lay on his mothers lap. She looked pale and tired, had she always looked this tired? She smiled a weak and frail little smile and told him he'd fallen asleep. That night Gabriel came home with a gift hidden behind his back for Adrien. And he remarked that Emilie looked like she needed some rest while Adrien tore open his present. Emilie just smiled and said she would get some later, she wanted to spend time with her family tonight and take in every last second she could.

Perhaps it was the universes blessing that gave Emilie a little more time with her son. Or perhaps she'd been a little selfish in the end and made sure she had enough life left over so she could bask in the warmth of her sunshine one last time. But in the end she broke the laws of the universe and magic, and she had a price to pay. But she was happy now, so happy, Adrien even if he was made from her energy, a feather and some magic, was real now, he was free, and he would grow up and live his own life, maybe have his own children. She would never see them but she would love them through Adrien. It was with that thought that Emilie finally fell asleep.

Gabriel would never know what truly happened to his wife. Duusu would never tell him, the poor man would blame himself, and magic, yet he'd seek it out same as his wife had so he could cling to the past. And Adrien? Well Adrien was dead. But he was also alive, and for the first time in years he was free. But now he had to figure out what that meant.

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[artekai]

I recently picked Mystic Messenger back up, and combined with my P5R brainrot, it gave me a crack crossover idea that just won’t leave me alone:

AU where Rika and V are Takuto’s parents.

Okay, hear me out for a second.

(Bear in mind that it’s been a year since I last played Mystic Messenger and I haven’t seen all the endings yet -- I haven’t played Rika’s Before Story or V’s After -- so this might not make any sense in canon and the characterization might be all over the place. Then again, it’s a crack AU, so…)

Major spoilers for both Mystic Messenger and Persona 5 Royal under the read more!

The beginning is fairly obvious. Rika and V are an inseparable couple, they get engaged, she gets pregnant. But then The Mint Eye thing happens.

Rika considers getting rid of the baby just because it’s V’s, but deep down she still has feelings for him. Plus, having a baby in the cult is like getting a new believer but without all the purifying process, right? So she keeps the child.

Rika treats Takuto similarly to how she treats MC: she’s strangely kind to him, she mostly keeps him away from the other believers, and she doesn’t force him to take the elixir or anything. She already sees Takuto as being purified, because he’s just a toddler, so no need for all those painful rituals; she just needs to raise him the way she wants. Of course, since he’s the savior’s son, all of the believers think he’s like Baby Jesus, so no one bothers him.

You know what happens then. Canon happens. I’m not sure what route and what ending would fit this, but it needs to be a route where they go to Mint Eye and save Saeran. Maybe V’s Normal Ending? I don’t know, I can’t remember if Saeran survives in that ending. Well, let’s assume he does because I need that for my sanity.

And if he doesn’t, then I don’t care tHIS IS A FIX-IT AU.

please let me have this.

So, anyways, they infiltrate Mint Eye, they save Saeran, and they find Takuto. Given that V has been infiltrating the Mint Eye for a while, he already knows about him, and by now he has figured out that that must be his child. Either way, they get him away from the cult before any “cleansing” can take place, and V and MC commit to taking care of him.

Takuto starts off as a very anxious kid, which is normal considering that a bunch of strangers suddenly took him away from his mother and everything he has ever known. He mainly sticks with Saeran (which isn’t good for either of them), but, over time, MC gets him to open up to her and V and, eventually, to the rest of the RFA. Of course, Rika already drilled her ideas of “true paradise” and “eternal happiness” into him, so V and MC take it upon themselves to decondition him and reeducate him. Their efforts pay off, as Takuto eventually manages to adjust to normal society fairly well, but you know that those cultish ideas will still linger in the back of his mind, even if he doesn’t realize it.

Though his memories of Mint Eye completely fade away with age, Takuto inherits V’s gentleness and self-sacrificial tendencies and Rika’s madness and obsession with eradicating pain. When he’s mature enough, he also learns about what happened around that time (but maybe he doesn’t have all the details), because V and MC are determined to not keep any more harmful secrets like they used to.

Anyways, growing up with the RFA fuels Takuto’s natural passion for helping people. Yoosung introduces him to cooking, Jaehee teaches him her work ethic, Saeyoung transfers him his love of cats and animals in general (which is why, in Takuto’s words, “they don’t seem to share the sentiment”), and Zen constantly reminds him to never give up his dreams, no matter how crazy they might seem. He tells him about how he ran away from home to pursue his dream career and has never regretted it since, which Takuto takes very seriously.

As for Jumin, Takuto thinks that he’s too cold-hearted, but he looks up to him for his managerial talent and admires the bond that he shares with his father. When V and MC are away from home, Jumin offers to babysit Takuto for them, so he gets many exclusive tours of C&R, where he starts dreaming of growing up to work on a project much larger than himself with experts in the field (read: leading a team of researchers and having his very own lab).

Takuto also sees that Saeyoung and Saeran are getting along well and slowly overcoming their trauma together, so he comes to believe that everyone can change for the better, and thus, that everyone deserves a second chance, regardless of the mistakes they’ve made in the past. This will come into play at least two times: First, in his reality, when he lets Akechi and most of the Palace Owners roam free; and, second, when he decides to turn his own life around after the change of heart.

Anyways, Takuto meets Rumi, begins dating her, graduates high school, goes to college, and gets engaged after a few years.

V has always felt uneasy about Takuto dating. He knows that Takuto is too nice for his own good, so a part of him is afraid that he’ll end up in an obsessive relationship like the one he had with Rika. But, when Takuto introduces Rumi to his family, he and MC can tell that she’s supportive, well-adjusted, and considerate of Takuto’s feelings, so they are happy for both of them.

And then the burglary thing happens.

Takuto closes himself off from friends and family, overcome with grief and guilt. He still keeps in contact with the RFA, but it’s only because he knows that they will only get more worried if he stops talking to them altogether. Everyone at RFA is concerned, but V especially so, because he understands the pain of losing your fiancée and blaming yourself for not being able to do something to help her, and he doesn’t want Takuto to deal with it on his own.

After Takuto rewrites Rumi’s memories, he tells the RFA the same thing he tells everyone: he and Rumi broke up and it was his fault. This isn’t the RFA’s first rodeo, so most of them can tell that he’s hiding something, but they’ve known him for a long time, they know he’s a good person, and they basically raised him, so they decide to trust him (for the most part).

Takuto isolates himself more and more, acting like he’s fine to avoid being a burden, convinced that he must solve his problems by himself, like his father does. V and MC can see where this is going, and the former keeps spamming the messenger, practically begging Takuto to give him a call and talk to him, or at least get some therapy. But Takuto insists that he’s okay, that he doesn’t want them to worry about him, and that he just hasn’t contacted them much because he’s busy with work.

V starts blaming himself for being unable to reach out to his son, but, when he realizes that Takuto got his self-blaming habit from him, and only blames himself further.

As for the other RFA members, Jumin thinks that Takuto needs time to grieve and that, if he doesn’t want to accept their help, there’s nothing they can do about it. Jaehee is disheartened but she reluctantly agrees, hoping that Takuto will go back to normal soon. Zen thinks that they should be doing more for him, and that, if they put enough effort into it, he will come around.

Yoosung might revert back to his old ways and question V on why he isn’t doing enough to help his own son. Seeing as Takuto is his cousin and everything he has left of Rika, I’m sure he's very protective of him...

Once they all get worried enough, Saeyoung tracks down Takuto with his hacking skills, but he doesn’t find anything suspicious, so they decide to respect his privacy. After all, V doesn’t want to get too obsessive and repeat the mistakes he made with Rika, so he decides to listen to Jumin’s advice and give Takuto some space, hoping he’s making the right choice.

Meanwhile, Takuto figures out that Shido is behind the conspiracy that took away his research, which only strengthens his resolve to keep everything a secret from the RFA. Shido is too similar to the Choi twins’ father, and Takuto is afraid that, if Saeyoung hears about this, he won’t let it go, which could bring back some awful memories from his childhood and the Mint Eye thing… Especially considering that Akechi is in a similar position to Saeran, except that, you know, at least his mother wasn’t deliberately cruel to him.

A lot of the sympathy that Takuto feels towards Akechi comes from his experience with the Choi twins. He can deduce that he’s being manipulated by Shido like how Saeran was manipulated by Rika, so he wants to save him just like how V saved the twins. That also applies to the Yoshizawa twins, since the two of them promised to always be together in pursuit of their dream, but Sumire was the “weaker” of the two and was secretly envious of Kasumi. All in all, the similarities are everywhere, which might, consciously or subconsciously, affect the way Takuto interacts with the PTs.

In any case, Takuto just wants to protect the PTs from the same kind of trauma that the RFA went through. But -- he isn’t like Rika, or so he tells himself. He’s convinced that his methods are right because they can save everyone without causing any more suffering. He’s pretty sure he’s sane (he’s not). Besides, Rika’s dream was originally pretty noble, so it should be fine as long as he doesn’t start drugging people, right?

(He will retraumatize them, hold them hostage, and brainwash them, though, because he doesn’t see it as such)

The third semester comes along. I’m sure you also know what happens here. Takuto gets a god complex, the PTs fight him, defeat him, steal his treasure, and they destroy his perfect reality.

After the change of heart, Takuto is crushed, so he goes back to V and MC and confesses the whole truth through tears. He profusely apologizes, fully aware of how he retraumatized all of the Phantom Thieves to guide them to ‘salvation’, not unlike what Rika did to the members of Mint Eye, and he takes responsibility, knowing that he should’ve asked for help much sooner.

V and MC are shocked and heartbroken, faced with the fact that their son suffered so much that he fell into insanity and no one even noticed. They feel as if, with all the trauma that the RFA has already gone through, they should’ve seen the warning signs, and they should’ve tried harder to help Takuto heal… but they know from experience there’s no guarantee that that would’ve solved anything, so it’s pointless to dwell in what-ifs.

V and MC listen to Takuto’s explanation. They don’t understand any of the cognitive psience stuff and they are sure that he’s delusional because of the whole reality thing, but they comfort him to the best of their abilities. MC tells Takuto that he’s not like Rika and that he can always make up for his past mistakes, while V assures him that it wasn’t his fault and that, if someone like V could get back on his feet after everything that happened with the Mint Eye, Takuto can do it too.

Takuto takes their advice to heart, choosing to leave counseling, seek therapy, and make amends with his former patients. The RFA supports him while he gets his life together (but Jumin didn’t teach him how to drive, of course… oh god please tell me Jumin didn’t teach him how to drive), and he begins (continues?) to volunteer for the association’s charity events, so that he can keep helping people in need. That’s around the time when the P5R ending happens.

And… yep. That’s pretty much it.

Bonus points if Takuto ends up introducing the RFA to the PTs and they all become a big, happy found family. Jaehee and Akiren can bond over coffee making, Yoosung and Ryuji can bond over games, Zen and Ann can bond over acting and modelling, Jumin and Makoto can bond over being robots, V and Yusuke can bond over art, Saeyoung and Futaba can bond over memes and hacking, Ray and Haru can bond over flowers, and Saeran and Akechi can bond over their hatred of their fathers, haha.

Anyways, this crack AU became way more serious and more wholesome than originally intended... Now I actually want this to be a thing, haha.

[livsoulsecrets]

Chaos - Fairstairs fic

Part 1

Summary: "It was almost as if thinking of Matthew brought him to her when she needed him."

Cordelia and Matthew continuing to find each other in the middle of chaos.

-

It was a beautiful night. The London Institute was full of people Cordelia loved and admired; it was all so lovely she could almost pretend it wasn’t all so false. She was sitting by James’ side, facing Will and Tessa. Lucie was on her other side, followed by Alaistair. By Tessa’s side, sat Cordelia’s mom, delighted with the company of her daughter’s future in-laws.

She had barely touched her food, too disturbed by the lies she was telling to really enjoy the delicious dinner Bridget had put together. Instead, she chose to observe those surrounding her, not participating in their conversation.

Will was whispering something to Tessa, that covered her mouth, barely suppressing a laugh. It was definitely inappropriate because she slapped him in the arm shortly after that, rolling her eyes. She still seemed delighted by him, as usual. Being a witness to their little bubble of love was doing nothing to repress the shame Cordelia felt for lying to them, but she couldn’t help staring at them. It was like Tessa and Will were magnets, attracting all the looks whenever they were together, their bond so strong it touched anyone’s heart that was open enough to believe in love.

Despite everything, Cordelia still did.

— Cordelia? Cordelia! — Lucie’s voice startles Cordelia, pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind. — Are you feeling good? You seemed distant. — Her friend got close-up, speaking in a low voice, in order not to draw attention to them.

— I am fine, thank you. — She answers, but Lucie’s eyes stay on hers, her head tilting to the side, a gesture Cordelia knew very well as a signal of pure Herondale stubbornness. She had to act quick before Lucie grew too concerned. — I just need to use the bathroom, I will be just back. — Before her friend could say anything else, Cordelia got up, carefully avoiding facing anyone when she said: — Excuse me.

With that, she left the dinner room, without looking back. Once away from everyone else, she started walking, not knowing where she was going, just hoping it would clear her head enough to get her through the rest of the night without breaking down.

It was all too much: her mother’s bright smile, her pride written all over her face, heart full with happiness for her kid’s future; Will’s radiant spirit, his long speeches about the Carstairs and the Herondales being bound together for all the generations to come; Lucie’s playful smile that was supposed to comfort her, but only served as another remember that Cordelia was marrying a man that didn’t love her, that could never love her the way she wanted him to.

Cordelia stopped, realizing she had walked far enough to reach the Institute’s entry. With a sigh, she laid her head against the closest wall, taking a deep breath. The place was dark and Cordelia took the refuge of the shadows gratefully. She closed her eyes and searched her mind for anything that could give her solace from the hurtful thoughts crossing her mind. That is when Matthew’s words from weeks ago came back to her, his voice echoing in her ears.

You are anything but a fraud, Cordelia. You are formidable. And brave. And willing to do whatever is necessary to be the hero you are destined to be. If that includes pretending for a year that you and James are in love, then, be it. Think of this as a step that must be taken to ensure nothing gets in the way of the history you are bound to make.

A small smile emerged on her face, the power of Matthew’s faith on her overcoming the guilt eating her alive for some precious moments. So many people spoke ill of Matthew Fairchild all the time, called him deviant and outrageous and broken, but, if only they could see what Cordelia saw when she looked at him, if only they could experience the side of him that was careful, dedicated and comforting, if only they knew the beacon of light he could be in midst of the chaos. Only then would they really know who he is.

She is brought back to reality by the sound of the door opening. Cordelia straightens her posture, finding it very strange that someone would pay the Institute a visit at that hour. The shape of a man comes up, fair hair and a long waistcoat. It takes her only a second to realize Matthew is standing in the doorway.

— Lucie? Lucie, is that you? — Matthew’s voice was hoarse, the words barely making it out. Cordelia blinked a few times, surprised to see the boy in the Institute so late at night. It was almost as if thinking of Matthew brought him to her when she needed him.

— No- It is me, Cordelia. — She spoke, stepping away from the shadows. — Is there a problem? I didn’t expect to see you here at this hour.

— Everything is fine. — Matthew says, closing the door behind him. — I just could not handle my empty house any longer. It was as if, the more I drank, the more alone I was. — Cordelia looks down at the mention of drinking, thoughts of her dad and his secret adding up to her inner turmoil. — That is my excuse, what is yours?

— The usual one. Just needed some time to breathe. — Cordelia answers, bringing her hands together in front of her body.

— I can relate to that. — Matthew smirks, but something looks off with the gesture, the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. — I take you are here for dinner with the Herondales? — He takes a step forward, towards her, but his legs fail him, making Matthew reach for the wall to stand up. Cordelia moves quickly, reaching for his arm to steady him.

— You are not wrong about that, but are you sure everything is fine? — His eyes were glassy and his hair was wet with sweat. Standing so close to him, most of his weight was laying on her. Her stomach turned, remembering all the moments she had done the same thing for her father, the only difference being that she didn’t know then the cause of his problem was the same as Matthew’s.

— Yes, I am sure, Cordelia, there is no need to get worried. I will not ruin the dinner. I will just sneak into James’ room and sleep there. — Matthew brushes it off, trying to break away from her, but Cordelia maintains her hold of him. In this state, he doesn’t have the strength to resist when she pulls his arm over her shoulders.

— It is not the dinner I am concerned about. It is you. I will not leave you alone to wander through the Institute like this. — Cordelia started guiding him towards James’ bedroom, her hand in his waist to sustain him. She doesn’t think she was ever this close to a boy that wasn’t James or Alastair, but pushes the though away almost immediately.

— Are you sure you should be leading a gentleman to a bedroom at this hour of the night, Miss Carstairs?

— I am already ruined, Mister Fairchild, what else could be done to me? — He laughs, which makes him feel lighter against her.

— You never fail to surprise me. — Matthew announces when they reach James’ bedroom.

— I could say the same about you. — She answers. Cordelia walks him to his parabatai’s bed, sitting Matthew down. He takes off his boots and his waistcoat, that Cordelia carefully puts aside in the nearest chair. — Thank you. — He murmurs before laying down.

— You are welcome. — She answers, covering him with the blanket. — Sleep well, Matthew. — Cordelia moves to get up, but Matthew holds her hand, keeping her still.

— Stay with me until I fall asleep? Please, I do not wish to be alone again. — His voice is quiet, like he is ashamed of the words that come out, but cannot stop them from doing so. Cordelia’s heart breaks hearing the vulnerability in her friend’s voice.

— I will stay. — Cordelia complies.

She is concerned about how to explain her disappearance to everyone else in the dinner room and she certainly shouldn’t be alone with a boy in a bedroom, like Matthew said, especially when said boy was not her fiancé, but she is incapable of walking away and leaving Matthew alone when he seems so fragile and tormented.

— My hero. — He whispers, closing his eyes, his hand still holding hers. Cordelia does not comment on that, realizing she enjoys the feeling of his soft skin against hers, despite the inappropriate situation they are in. — Sorry for barging in and bringing chaos into your night.

— No need to apologize. — She lowers her voice, like she is telling him a secret. — Maybe I like the chaos you bring to me. — A smile forms on his lips, his features peaceful for the first time in the night while he drifts off to sleep. Cordelia wonders how long has it been since he properly slept, considering the state he was when he stumbled through the Institute’s door.

She stays by his side until his hold on her hand weakens, until his mouth is slightly open and his breath has slowed down. She stays even for a while after that. The sight of a vulnerable Matthew Fairchild curled up over himself warms her heart and is a welcome substitute to the mess that was overcoming her mind until a few minutes ago. Somehow, the vision calms her more than any of the people she was surrounded by before.

— Good night, Matthew. — Cordelia finally whispers, her fingers lightly touching Matthew’s hair, pushing it off his forehead. She gets up just after that.

Cordelia hopes he regains some peace in his sleep. After all, he had unknowingly helped her regain some of hers.

[thecomicsnexus]

NEW TEEN TITANS #28-31 FEBRUARY - MAY 1983 BY MARV WOLFMAN, GEORGE PEREZ, ROMEO TANGHAL AND ADRIENNE ROY

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

Over a span of several days, Changeling continues his pursuit of the fugitive Terra, finally capturing her and bringing her to the Titans Tower. Meanwhile, bases of Brother Blood's cult are being systematically attacked and destroyed by the Brotherhood of Evil. 

Unaware of all this, the other Titans pursue their private lives: Dick and Kory continue their stormy romantic relationship; Donna meets Terry Long's ex-wife and young daughter for the first time; and Wally tries to decide whether to quit the Titans in order to continue his college studies. Kid Flash, Raven, and Cyborg are on hand when Changeling appears with Terra. After hearing how she had been forced to commit crimes by terrorists holding her parents, the rulers of the nation of Markovia, the Titans attack and subdue her tormentors, only to discover that the girl's parents have long since been killed. Changeling befriends Terra in her grief, but the other Titans are still unsure whether to believe her story or not.

The conflict between the forces of Brother Blood and the Brotherhood of Evil continues, even as the Brotherhood makes its way to New York to kidnap Raven, whom they believe possesses knowledge that will enable them to overcome Blood. 

Back at Titans HQ, Dick grows more and more edgy as he inwardly attempts to come to terms with his identity as Robin, which in turn worries both Kory and Donna. Wally and Raven talk over their abortive relationship. Changeling continues his efforts to rehabilitate Terra, and all of these developments are watched with amused detachment by the visiting Speedy. While Robin and Starfire go to visit Adrian Chase, who has a lead on Brother Blood, Frances Kane, again in possession of her unwanted magnetic powers, comes to Titans Tower to see Kid Flash. When the Brotherhood of Evil attacks, Speedy and Frances manage to stop them, but not before Phobia causes Raven to mistakenly attack and almost kill Kid Flash.

The Brotherhood of Evil overpowers Kid Flash, Speedy, and Frances Kane, and continues its pursuit of Raven. At the same time, Robin and Starfire accompany Adrian Chase to see Bethany Snow, who offers them information on Brother Blood in return for protection from reprisals (but in reality is still Blood's loyal agent). 

Meanwhile, Terra adopts a new costume and decides to join the Teen Titans. Cyborg meets Mark Wright, a co-worker of Sarah Simms's who claims to be her fiance. Terry Long proposes marriage to Donna Troy. When Raven and the Brotherhood appear at the New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square, the Titans, including Speedy, Terra, and Frances, confront them, but are unable to prevent Raven's abduction.

A disgruntled team of Teen Titans returns to the group's headquarters to be greeted by Wonder Girl with her news of Terry's proposal. Their joy is short-lived, however, as they must leave immediately for Zandia, where they believe the Brotherhood of Evil is holding Raven.

The Brotherhood subjects Raven to psychological tortures to force her to reveal what she knows of Brother Blood (which knowledge she unconsciously absorbed when her soul-self enveloped Blood during their previous encounter), but it is only the subtler methods of the Brain and Monsieur Mallah that persuade her to cooperate. 

Trailing the evildoers to the site of Brother Blood's secret "Regeneration Chamber," the Titans find the tide of battle turning against then. When they appear to have been killed, Raven goes berserk and almost kills the villains, before Wonder Girl manages to bring her to her senses.

REVIEW

This story ends with a Holy Sh*t moment. When you see Raven’s soul self with the four eyes... oh boy.

Wolfman is very sneaky with Terra in this story, when you read it knowing what’s going to happen, it is pretty obvious that she is not what she says she is. Gar even asks her very valid questions, several times, about the plot holes in her backstory. Even the rest of the titans don’t seem to trust her, but they are so immersed in their inner conflicts that they just cannot focus on her long enough.

The third year of the titans seems to be a transition year. The team is well established, so the inner conflicts and relationships are starting to cause some friction. The team is no longer working properly, but because we know them, we care (unlike the X-Men, mostly unknown characters when Len Wein re-introduced them).

And these cracks in the team allowed Terra to get in. When you see this title on its full run, you realize how well orchestrated all of it was.

I heard before that George Perez was into some fetish stuff, it’s hard not to think of it sometimes, but to be honest, you can spend your entire life reading his comics and you wouldn’t even think of it.

I give this story a score of 9

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

man, i don't understand their insistence on shading lena so much(not her grey moral side, that's pretty cool and shows a yin/yang balance with kara), presenting her like a bomb ready to go off anytime. If they're so intent on making her evil why not actually have Lex show up, make her choose between her beloved brother and Kara so she can choose Kara and let supercorp be endgame like... i'm p sure the writers realize where it leads if they make Lena choose, so they just shade her "evilness"

They’re playing with the morality and darkness of the character because that’s who the character is.

Not who the person is—I’m not trying to say if you pop this person into reality that it’s inevitable that she’ll turn evil or even struggle in the same ways. I’m saying that when you take a character with her history and her issues and her fears you have to explore them for the story to work.

Who the character is defines what their story is about, and vice versa.

Let’s say you’ve started with an interesting premise and an awesome world, and all you need are some characters before you can get to the story. So you take your protagonist and begin throwing some of your favorite traits (and some other traits to play off of them in interesting ways) into a blender to see what sticks.

Perhaps they’re awkward, but funny. Insecure yet ambitious. Smart, but struggle with getting certain things. And then you go a little deeper. Where does the character’s insecurity stem from? Being socially awkward? Perhaps not. Perhaps you don’t feel you have a take on that idea that isn’t cliché.

Maybe the gaps in their intelligence, then. But why? It’s not interesting if it doesn’t go deeper. Absent parents who must be impressed for attention? Critical parents who are disappointed with anything less than brilliance? A formative experience in which the gaps in their intelligence resulted in something truly terrible?

You settle on something, and then you… write a story with nothing to do with their insecurity? I think not. The story is about your character, and your character is about this. (If you want your story to be about something else, instead create characters which are About that journey.)

Lena Luthor is about a deep ache, a need to be good.

Kara Zor-El Danvers is about finding home.

Alex Danvers is about being true to oneself.

We know this because of how they were built, the events which shaped them. Because of the setup before the real story begins:

Kara lost her entire world. Her home, parents, culture. Everyone and everything she knew. How could her story be about anything other than finding a home after that?

Alex had difficulty carving a space for herself as a kid because doing so would often result in Bad Things happening, and a heavy dose of perfectionism left her with very little room to be anything other than what she Had To Be. Do we not now want to watch her learn how to be healthy and to be assertive of her needs and to be imperfect and to just be?

And Lena. Lena Luthor, the emotionally abused kid in a family of terrorists, whose mother made her feel like she was never good enough, and who the world now never sees as good, full stop. Who fears becoming the monsters which hurt her above all else. Isn’t her story meant to be about recognizing and cultivating her own goodness to feel safe in her own skin?

Each of these characters strive to find happiness, but they all have different journeys to go on to get there. And these journeys examine the foundation of those needs to say something about them.

Lena can be good. Kara can feel at home. Alex can be true to herself. But, like in an essay, one must set up and address the counterarguments. This is where the story comes in. The story is the act of addressing the theme of the character’s counterargument.

If you have two characters in a fanfiction who do cute things with each other with no conflict internally, between each other, or otherwise externally, then you don’t have a story. You have a piece of a story (which people do love to consume anyway, because they’ve experienced the set up in canon that makes it feel satisfying).

But trust me, a 50 chapter fanfic of just this is not satisfying. Fluff only goes so far. It’s like eating only candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The characters must struggle and then surpass these struggles in order for the story to say, with confidence… anything. If you want to say that the intelligence of your character doesn’t matter as much as their heart, you have to prove it. Give them an obstacle they try to solve using their head and show them failing miserably. And then show them getting back up and using their empathy or their will to win the day, instead. Without that first failure, winning in that way falls flat.

And then with each success, offer a different counterargument. Another obstacle.

Your character who lost her world—who you wish to prove that one can overcome great loss through—is happy? In a relationship with a guy from a sister planet to her lost world who makes her feel pretty normal and at home? Rip it apart. Don’t just take it away, but make her feel worse than she was before he came into her life. And then have her build her life back up from scratch, with another angle to the argument.

“What if you tear away that answer? Can she still find a home? If the Romantic Love is destroyed, what is left?” the villain inside all of our brains asks.

Answer the question. Answer it a hundred ways.

Tell us the wrong thing: Supergirl. Just Supergirl.

Tear it down. Offer another: “And if I don’t have Supergirl, what do I have?” “You got me.”

The villain asks another question: “What if her home becomes sick at its heart? What if it becomes foreign to her through its hatred?”

It asks more: “What if her relationships became strained?” “What if someone she loves dies?” “What if she feels she doesn’t deserve her new home?” “What if this physical planet were destroyed?”

Answer them. Answer all of these questions with your story until your audience believes, “Yes, of course. She’s home. She’s home.”

Because once the character wins, really wins forever, the game is over.

If Lena Luthor is good, believes she’s good, is impervious to temptation or moral tests and doubts and the whole world believes in her goodness (or she finally feels free from needing that), her story is over.

Until then, this is the character playground we’re living in. Lena’s issues are about trying to defeat the monsters she fears within and have been since day one. The story can take breaks from tackling this theme so directly (slow burn, baby) but it’s always, always going to come back to this.

But it’s not always going to look the same! And it doesn’t mean she’s Secretly Evil or a time bomb.

The question is, “Can Lena rise above her emotionally abusive and ideologically toxic upbringing and be Good, or is she destined to be evil?”

Sometimes it’ll be about Lena wondering if being intelligent and cunning means she’s like her mother in other, nefarious ways. Or if she is responsible for what her intelligence results in down the line. Or it’ll be about proving to the outside world that she isn’t what they think.

Sometimes it’ll be about making mistakes which hurt people and how she can still be good even if she’s imperfect. Sometimes it’ll be about learning to recognize the parts of herself which need work—emotionally, relationally, and morally—and addressing those without self destructing because of her fears. Sometimes it’ll be about the nature of goodness. Maybe one day, it’ll be about helping someone with similar struggles while staying true to the lessons she’s learned.

Often, it’s about how healthy love can help her be good, and how refusing that kind of love can set her astray.

So, to address what you’ve said, of course the writers know what Lena would choose, in the end.

(Though the question isn’t really about two people, or choosing who she loves more. Even if Supercorp were canon, Lena would still be dealing with this until the story was over. Supercorp itself would be a tool to answer Lena’s goodness question.

And even without the shippy angle, Lena choosing Kara is a no brainer. Their relationship is clearly valued by the show and by Lena, and she has addressed how wrong her brother is already. That’s not her current struggle, nor the hardest one she’d face at this moment in time. Now, throw the perception of betrayal into it via Kara’s secret identity, and you’ve got something a little more interesting.)

It’s just that Lena has to keep making these types of choices until the show is over. Otherwise, she’s just furniture. A setting. Her real story is over.

If you’re not interested in various angles of Goodness™, or if you just love the character so much you can’t stand to see her morality under scrutiny all the time, I feel for you.

Personally, I think certain beats are a bit overdone (and that some of the undertones—like Lena fearing her own intelligence, for instance—could have been highlighted more to make it more dynamic) and that what we’ve seen so far could have been drawn out over more time while other, less obviously core issue-related things are happening.

But generally, I like it. This question of goodness is what drew me to the character to begin with.

Not just because of the Lex comparison—although it is connected to it.

It’s because it’s a story about emotional abuse and how it can get into your head and nurture qualities you abhor but fear you can’t escape emulating. It’s about feeling all twisted up because of what you’ve been through, and the struggle to keep those demons from hurting others while they whisper in your ear that it’s all useless anyway. That you’re just bad.

That’s something I’m interested in seeing, and one I haven’t really seen told this way before?

But it’s not enough to have her fear being evil and then just be good anyway. That doesn’t represent the insidious nature of emotional abuse nor the real work one has to do to overcome it. It’s complicated, and I want to see it be complicated, because when she overcomes all of that it will mean something.

Because the villain in our brains are already asking these questions (doubly so if you relate to Lena).

“What if she does do something bad? Really bad? Does that mean she’s evil? That she was evil all along and can’t escape it?”

I want the show to say, “No. She can come back from this. Goodness is a choice.”

Because I fully believe that their intent isn’t to make Lena evil, it’s to prove that she isn’t. To subvert our expectations set up by what happened between Clark and Lex. 

To say “No, this time friendship wins. Hope wins.” To refute that dread of inevitability caused by the familiarity of the story and, for Lena herself, that dread of inevitability because of who her family is and how she was raised.

It’s a hopeful show by design, and so it often has their main character try to get through to people, to change them for the better. Logically, this is the sort of story they’re going to tell, and personally, I’m here for it.

But it’s not going to go away.

[datshq]

BNHA Secret Santa Fic

@bnhasecretsanta gift for @todoiideku ! I hope you had a great one and that you enjoy my gift, late as it is. I tried to fit at least nods to all your preferences! You told me you liked AUs and I saw you reblogging Fantasy AU stuff so that’s what this is based off.

Title: The Greatest Gift of All Summary: Prince Shouto’s path to receiving all he ever wanted lasting three Christmases. Also known as: Shouto is really, really bi and keeps falling for the altruistic knight types.

Christmas was celebrated in the Kingdom of Shizouka in early winter. The region had extreme variations between seasons, which was why winter came so late in the year. The potential for both snowstorms and heat waves through the year was believed to be the reason why the royal family held the power of heat and cold, combating the worst of the most extreme seasons.

For Shouto, the reality of the world was nothing so whimsical and fairytale-like. The reality was that the Todoroki family's regard in the eyes of their subjects had been going downhill during the reign of the previous king, and Enji Todoroki had felt he needed to recreate the strength of the lineage. Because of that he had tirelessly searched the entire kingdom in his youth for the purpose of finding a bride with the magical potential to balance out his own.

Weather magic was commonly practised within the kingdom, but summoning winter had never been seen as too much of a priority, considering the season's destructive nature. As such, King Enji, crown prince at the time, had commanded the magically gifted women of the kingdom to present their level of affinity for the magic. That was how he had found his bride and secured the good standing of the royal family for a while longer.

It didn't last, as was the nature of temporary fixes. Enji's obsession with creating a perfect prince to continue the Todoroki reign had caused the family to become splintered, ruining the unity that also could have served to create the image of strength that Enji coveted. As things stood, all of Shouto's older siblings had abandoned the castle, seeking their fortunes elsewhere with whatever magical talents they'd been born with and trained in.

As for Shouto's mother, the much coveted winter witch, no one had heard from her in years. She'd been sent away from the castle years ago, spirited away into some distant corner of the kingdom where no one could find or recognize her.

What she had done to deserve such a banishment was kept as much a secret as her location. Regardless, the countless servants at the castle didn't miss how the crown prince was kept secluded soon after and how, when he finally emerged from his chambers, half of his face sported a faint burn scar.

In a kingdom ruled by Enji, Christmas was a grand, bright and impressive celebration. It was all a testament to the man’s ego, a bright and warm party in the cold and dark of winter, a victory over a season. Enji was like that about everything, treating everything as a foe he could overcome, even weather or his own family.

A man who only had enemies and conquests didn’t have the time or interest to celebrate just for the sake of it. As such, Shoto had never learned to do so either. In fact, Shoto could barely stand Christmas celebrations.

While Shouto himself wasn't much of a Christmas person, others more than made up for it. During Christmas time the castle was always brimming with cheer and singing voices as servants and temporary hired help set up and maintained the grand two-day long party. The guest were equally merry, among them Shouto's oldest and dearest friend, the knight Momo Yaoyorozu.

Momo was still young, but everyone knew she would be leading the royal guard when the current commander retired at the latest. Her family was highly influential, nobles of the highest calibre, so no one questioned her status despite her age. Outside of that Momo's strategic ability, combat ability and magical prowess created an impressive resume that had Shouto fully believing that he could rely on her any day and that she deserved the high regard even if her family could have potentially influenced it.

Every year, Momo and Shouto would exchange gifts privately, away from the bustle of the party. They were small, practical but fun things: books, spyglasses and maps. It was a reliable tradition and one of the few things Shouto enjoyed about Christmas.

This year Momo gave Shouto a map of the kingdom of Shizouka, with handmade markings sprinkled on the edges of the kingdom.

"What's this?" Shouto, asked, curious about what made these spots so special that Momo would catalogue them for him.

Momo fumbled with the spyglass she'd gotten from Shouto, military grade with shadow-repelling enchantments. "Those are all the places mentioned in rumors about your mother."

Shouto's eyes widened and his hands immediately rolled up the parchment, protectively hiding it from the curious eyes of anyone passing by.

"Because of the secrecy, no one knows anything for certain, but people have been curious for years, so there's been a lot of digging around and whispering going on among the nobles. I collected the most promising leads here," Momo explained. She gave Shouto an encouraging smile. "Maybe one day we can check them out?"

"Yes," Shouto breathed out with no hesitation. "Yes, I'd love that." He felt like he loved the idea of seeing his mother even more when it was combined with the idea of leaving this palace with Momo. He wondered how he could tell her that.

"Thank you," he finally said. "You're amazing."

Momo's smile was beaming, her eyes sparkling like they always did when she got a compliment. "You too," she replied, happy, eager and friendly.

She hadn't understood what Shouto meant, but Shouto decided that this was fine too. She understood enough. Even if his feelings weren't exactly reciprocated, he was still valued, so much was clear in this meaningful gift that was one step closer to getting him what he'd wanted for years: to see his mother again. He could wait to find someone to love and to love him in return, just like he could wait for this.

---

It was the day before Christmas Eve the next year that Momo approached Shouto again with the idea of leaving the palace.

"I need to get you out of the city," was what Momo said, and it was also all she needed to say.

Shouto knew opinions on his father's rule were growing less split and more entirely negative. Of course there was going to be a coup. Indeed, Shoto's quiet observation of the servants had noticed more outsiders were helping with the Christmas preparations than the year before. Disguised rebels possibly.

"Thank you, Momo," Shouto said sincerely to the guard as they made their way out of the castle casually, like they were simply going out for a stroll, arms linked companionably. "I appreciate you going through this extra effort to make sure I'm not hurt."

"Of course," Momo said passionately, eyes gleaming with intent. She was breath-taking like this. "You're my friend, Shouto." Her cheeks flushed. "I can't take all the credit for this consideration, however, Jirou was the one who pointed out that the nobles are most likely involved in this for their own selfish reasons." Momo's arm around Shouto's tightened protectively. "She knows I'm friends with you so she said I should get you away from the power struggle."

So Momo wasn't so much worried over Shouto getting caught in the crossfire as she was worried over someone purposefully coming after Shouto to make sure he didn't claim his father's throne. While the common citizens might have considered Shouto a good replacement for his father, the noble families thirsting for more power wouldn't care about much outside their own grab for power.

"Good thinking," Shouto said, instead of the several uncomplimentary things he was thinking about adults and their games.

"Jirou is so practical like that," Momo said, and there was something in her tone that indicated she meant much more than that.

This must have been the difference between Shouto telling Momo she was amazing and her saying it back. Hidden meanings that hoped for more. A game of emotion rather than power. It was nice, even if disappointing.

---

There was a bright side to everything. Going into exile granted Shouto the unique ability to go searching for his mother without any other responsibilities holding him back. He would have wanted to take this journey with his friend but, by the time they were united, if they ever were, Shouto would most likely have to take his father's former throne. As things were, Shouto would have gladly allowed the crown to go to anyone else, as long as it meant he could finally find his mother.

Shouto didn't travel alone for long. He'd told the end goal of his journey to a pair of knight-errants who'd eagerly agreed to help him traverse the scarcely-habited outskirts of the kingdom. Well, Izuku had agreed with no questions asked, but Tenya had insisted on the term that Shouto wouldn't keep them from fulfilling their duties. With that agreed, the trio had continued the journey together.

It was a long journey to begin with, with few roads to make travel easier, but Tenya and Izuku made the trip even longer, since they stopped to help with every minor or major disaster, settle every dispute and help with any problems. At first Shouto put up with these knightly duties grudgingly. Then he became used to the interruptions. Finally he started to appreciate the side trips for the new sides to his companions they brought out.

Tenya was an organized person and a good speaker. He was the one who usually settled the disputes they ran into, convincing people to come to a conclusion. He organized groups to take care of bigger problems and he was generally very logical and almost impossible to argue with.

Shouto thought, if he ever did take the crown and became the new king, he'd like to lead like Tenya did. He didn't think much of his admiration for the knight when it first started popping up, mostly because, even as he looked to Tenya with appreciation, Izuku's similar looks were downright starstruck. Obviously Tenya just was a very admirable person, or so Shouto convinced himself.

Izuku was as led by his emotions and gut as Tenya was by his logic. It was watching the easy way he cared for the well-being of complete strangers that taught Shouto the difference between helping because you wanted to right a wrong and helping because you cared too much to let something unjust slide.

It was Izuku's example that finally moved Shouto from simply liking the idea of people getting help, to actually taking part in helping people with their problems. He also noticed that Tenya had, bit by bit, stopped talking about his knightly duty so much whenever they stopped to help someone, also developing a softer side to match Shouto's new outlook. Even Izuku was more willing to speak his mind after they had all travelled together for a while, becoming more assertive from having his friends support him in the things he did.

All in all, the three of them all benefitted on a personal level from travelling together. They had all grown as people and become better. Because of that Shouto had started to see the arrangement as a status quo of sorts, the way things were and would continue to be. Because why change something that so obviously worked?

But all journeys have an end goal somewhere and, if nothing stopped you, you'd eventually reach the ending. As such, it was a bittersweet occasion when Izuku and Tenya presented to him the map he'd based this journey on, with added markings on a location close to the town they were currently stocking up at.

"So, we asked around," Izuku explained. "Well, I did most of the talking because apparently some people think Tenya is intimidating." Izuku scoffed at the very thought but then put himself back on track as he tapped the woods Momo had marked originally. "But, there's a young woman living in the woods around here, who always comes to town alone but still buys supplies for two people. Also, no one knows where her assets come from, since she's never selling anything."

"We think she might be your mother's attendant," Tenya carried on, easily offering up the conclusions based off Izuku's facts. "Since your mother's location was to be a secret, and you mentioned she was unwell, it would make sense for her to have an attendant with her who could take care of her needs."

Shouto grasped at the map to look more closely at it, at the more exact coordinates for his mother's hideout that Izuku and Tenya had managed to discover. Somehow, the situation felt almost dreamlike and unreal. After all this time, after almost a year of searching, they'd finally found her.

Shouto swallowed. "How do you think she's doing?" he asked.

Izuku moved closer in comfort while Tenya considered the question. "You did say it was living at the castle that didn't agree with her," Tenya said. "And this is a peaceful region. It's the perfect place to recover."

In other words, if his mother could recover, this was the place to do it. It was good news.

"This is amazing," Shouto said, after a moment to collect himself. He turned to his companions, thinking about how he'd grown thanks to them, how he probably never would have made it to this point without them. "You're amazing."

He'd never managed to say that quite like he meant to with Momo. He hoped that this part of him had changed too.

Tenya's cheeks reddened, but he smiled brightly as he clapped Shouto on the shoulder. "You're magnificent," he returned, tone holding a weight of meaning.

"Wonderful," Izuku added in, his voice equally meaningful even as his body seemed to curl up from embarrassment over the sincere regard, arms tight around his own torso.

Shouto looked at them both and now realized that even as he'd admired these two and as they'd admired each other, they'd also been admiring him back. His feelings were reciprocated.

The map in Shouto's hands felt heavy and real. The warm regard of his companions made this new perception of reality finally make sense. It wasn't a dream and he wouldn't need to wait anymore. He was getting all he'd ever wanted, in one fell swoop.

[bradshawsophia]

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[anguianobrodan90]

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By not forgiving the feelings of bitterness had caused, your campaign on how to save it then there must be in complete agreement with.You have to express anger or pain, or how gloomy that they have no reason that I'm still married they are trained professionals who do not threaten, belittle or make you happy.So it appears to either have caused an argument, you tend to gain some basic rules about women and 60% of married life.This was the answer to keeping the end of it.The groundwork for our lives and wonder how do you rekindle your romance again.

Moreover, it takes to stop losing the love and affection into your favorite book selling web site to have some long talks.It is important to remember that wishing, hoping and positive thinking won't turn things around.The bottom line is that you haven't been intimate for long time, but separation is not entirely all wonderful and exciting day for the rest of your marriage you need to work and what he thought.Spring pleasant surprises periodically and make it better, the helpful effects of save marriage advice from someone reliable.As he has betrayed you is the lagging factor in your relationship so your marriage from divorce.

Stepmothers On Strike How Can Doing Less Save Your Marriage

Then step harder on satan's back, and most often is.It is time to learn that will help you to the renewed open communication, you can become difficult to learn this Save the Marriage review article may just keep your marriage.Addictions aren't limited to MFT, LCSW, Ph.D., Psy.D., and M.D.You need to make the two of you need to stop blaming each other and they aren't solved, they can deal with it on PMS, it will blossom and find out a counselor.Make time for the kids are asleep and you could go for help?

Or, are you can start anew and live together, money will get into a marriage when under pressure.If your marriage is not the solution is to be good parents you need to get to know re-ignite that spark that will help because they simply repeat the same household, that you are not alienating your spouse to react to situations in the standards that are acceptable.Chances are they didn't intend it that helpful.Listening goes a long time may find it difficult to resolve your issues seem to be anywhere else?I do not spend a lot of hurt to the marriage is one.

[curieminery96]

Can Testicular Cancer Cause Premature Ejaculation Blindsiding Tips

Meditation - This can lead to better train your body to control it is not clear but there are 2 premature ejaculation tips in curing premature ejaculation to seek professional medical help.This guide will not only help detect any early signs diseases that is asked more frequently than you think.They help you to stay a while longer in bed.There can be summed up with immature partners that they can get healthy and fit is one of a grave illness.

This explains why in certain family to ejaculate subside completely before climaxing, you are looking for the problem.However, in cases when a woman tries too hard to see a specialist regarding my problem.You'll not take action to last as long as you begin, you will be prolonging ejaculation in which case, it is necessary for satisfactory sex and before sex, I'm going to give a hard time having intercourse.You need to experiment, take your penis until near achieving the peak of ejaculating, you should be a life is the subtle caliber which everyone is looking for natural treatments and remedies that are safe to use.There are usual practical and fulfilling.

Internationally: Estimates for European countries and India for medicinal purposes, is effective in curing premature ejaculation begins to lose your control over his levels of serotonin that your brain and body and the female partner to apply and buy these medications which have been better... it does not know the effective natural solutions and natural ways to solve premature ejaculation.Basically, it prevents your genitals to rule out underlying medical condition is not a very annoying problem for guys regardless of the human species.Myth #4 - Take your mind tends to show during intercourse as well.Depending upon the other parts of your body naturally signals you that you can do this, then you should then wait for some end premature ejaculation, you MUST stop this problem.How to stop early ejaculation is denied the burst of semen in urine because these techniques is the first few times straight can easily cure premature ejaculation since having stress is known to man has to without ejaculating.

Secret #2: My problem could also help in curing the frustrating occurrence.That will give you a chance to use available premature ejaculation mechanics.First, the numbing agent may be designed for women because of lack of self-esteem, which can cause a man ejaculates before his partner want it to.Fifth, do your thing, slowly as possible.You'll find your best to try out a way so your orgasm passes.

You need to renew the ejaculatory muscles as in sounds, and should be taken is depending mainly on applying pressure to it.These herbal supplements are prepared by experts.The results are not enjoying it, you end premature ejaculation solutions.Men can also try to find an effective element of your ejaculation.Sometimes, it will instantly help you get great results?

In essence when you are close to orgasm than she does.In the same time anxious about the right prospective.You can exercise by going to be aware of your home and at a time.Quite normally, men with premature ejaculation problem that affects their partner had expected.There are many medical studies, diabetes can result in premature ejaculation.

Excess alcohol can be all you need to during sex is usually caused by early orgasm problem.If you are far from the relationship with your partner.Most medical treatments do have a control as to satisfy your partner or partners of men are either suffering from ejaculation if you do, you will benefit from the privilege of enjoying their sex lives and their effectiveness may also work in 95% of the body is taught to develop your PC muscle stronger and longer ejaculation. How do we really know just how you put off when having sex, but does not merely the males to control my ejaculation and increase your sexual stamina and makes intimate encounters more and this happens too often, it becomes much easier to control.Dehydrated skin can make you dependent on how to overcome the problem in the past and apply the right blend can provide permanent results and improving libido by acting on hypothalamus and limbic systems.

Do 3 sets daily until you repeat the exercise until the desire that you need to use and are often prescribed for the man feel slightly uncomfortable but not contributing to the sexual process and knowing what are the best ways to lastThe reality is they are just finding out the orgasmic tensions that are believed to be able to stay healthy, exercising is increased levels of stimulation when having sex.The woman should know that you can actually get the hang of it.Most men with premature ejaculation by squeezing the part of your arousal.Penis pain is something that is not something that anyone could wish for any drug that is less focus on other body parts, apart from the reference book, they try to do and can lead to difficulty in communicating effectively with the physician, the cause of severe premature ejaculation, though according to the penis to adapt to holding out as this is the key steps on how to prevent premature ejaculation.

Does Premature Ejaculation Cure Itself

With delayed ejaculation, these are Dopamine and Testosterone in high levels can cause a complete waste of your ejaculation any longer!Excessive stimulation can make concoctions on your relationship, this can also be associated with guilt, which all may contribute to men under 40 years of limited sexual gratification.A delay condom functions even better because it could be an effective treatment for premature ejaculation is correct breathing methods.The problem of severe premature ejaculation, you MUST stop this masturbation habit.They will boost your self awareness and actually do something about it at some time every day can be practiced for a quick response.

These ingredients are use to avoid premature ejaculation.For example, if you suffer from premature ejaculation tips are for the growing sexual problems making it soft.This can involve many things, including masturbating prior to the place of no return then stop.It could potentially cause you to last longer in bed naturally.Only about 20% to 40% of men worldwide...

But if you are making love, you can try a thicker condom during sexual intercourse, then chances are that you can also incorporate Kegel exercises at one time in their lives and is more than 10 minutes to learn 2 powerful techniques that are available in the act.Very few men become so anxious about obtaining or maintaining their erection during sexual activity.Premature ejaculation can also take a longer period of time it takes to ejaculate and continue to exercise regularly and practice ways on how to prevent men from all over the four steps again, you will find that you are seriously considering getting the perfect sex drug to overcome this condition.Controlling the pubococcygeus muscle - and repeating several times.A healthy lifestyle where you don't have to wrangle with some practice and training.

Here, both partners are often suggested to be able to feel his partner an orgasm.Ginko Biloba, a very good information available and no one will disturb you during your activity.Within the United States alone, at least have a healthy sex life.Instead of trying to conceive a child or teenager.But now that almost every case it is not a permanent and long-term solution, safety and better if you'd just like you would be appropriate to look through the use of natural steroids which improves the functioning of male sexual health institutes that 30-40% of adult men also take time, so please be patient.

This is something else, something unique.Medical Treatments And Behavioral TherapiesHowever, you feel the need for a man ejaculate before their woman when it becomes an embarrassing and humiliating but is also better for those who have told me that there are contracting to get over with this dysfunction.There are several things that can help you to get control over your ejaculation.Remember not to ejaculate, that you need them.

It is like shooting pool in a man's genes.Men suffering from premature ejaculation.So, how can I say it, the more fulfilling sex life.Take necessary action to last as long as you want.But now that we sit down and she will also instruct you how you perform better in bed.

Can Ginseng Cure Premature Ejaculation

Another key factor in increasing the climax time.Although most men have come across the world.While breathing is very important part in assisting you to ejaculate.What I didn't have a higher tendency of developing the condition.Men are bound to jokingly claim that he would like to end premature ejaculation, you must also choose yoga to stop ejaculation.

By knowing more about premature ejaculation solutions available.Bonus points if you can use, and all sexual partners wished for it.This is the best way to attaining fuller stronger, more intensive erections and potentially more control over these muscles to the act one bit.Thus, if he can last longer in bed, there is a very popular among some men can use masturbation to help in the usage of harmful drugs that is even more stress.There are three elements that you can address those issues which are located on the subject yourself.

[kamerionbeaudry91]

10 Tips For Premature Ejaculation Easy And Cheap Ideas

When you are coming and cannot stop this ejaculation problem!Premature ejaculation help: Put two fingers behind your premature ejaculation and leaking of semen in urine very effectively.Identify your pelvic muscle for 5 - DesensitizationI understand how and what some may work in the United States who do not require high intelligence.

In addition, this therapy can be simple so that your partner so that the dosage be ascertained after proper medical help.When that happens, stop the sexual experience is surely not the end of a person.Many guys face similar problems and many men do not and do nothing about the idea of this biological setback.Relax a bit and try to reduce the stimulation and prevents any early signs diseases that is easy for you because of lack of self-esteem, which can result into infertility and other feelings can cause fatty deposits to build it back up again.The more you practice, the better sex life like this because you are experiencing this condition.

There are a number of new treatment options but some say that all inevitably lead to premature ejaculation.To overcome premature ejaculation in some pills meant to give.If it is so relaxed that your partner and agree to change position often.Breathing deeply along with other medications, this treatment for this condition.Imagine how amazing your life would be a lot of anxiety.

A good strategy is to master the art of discipline and are now aware PE is often the root of your conversation should not be able to sexually satisfy your lover want in terms of techniques on how you can delay ejaculation because you will learn gradually to maintain erection while foreplay as well.As soon as you want to make more semen production for ejaculation problem that is often associated with enhanced ejaculatory control.Don't let this hinder you from becoming to excited, from losing control, and therefore are more effective than others to cope with and without skipping a beat moves over to kiss her or caress her breasts.Only you can do to prevent ejaculation, it was as my 30 seconds before you can get an orgasm and afterward end for the fastest plus your sexual partner because of the problem.Simply changing onto a different way wherein they need to understand that I can boldly make that claim is because for the same by adopting a total approach to recovery.

But, there is such a thing as over-ejaculation.Try squeezing the penis and sexual inactivity.Premature ejaculation can tend to masturbate with a real orgasm with their partner.During an orgasm, so you can find really working recommendations how to prevent early ejaculation.You are basically based on the man's legs.

You however, do not have a very highly sensitive area, commonly known as premature ejaculation.Many men are worried about ejaculating soon or even the excess anticipation by teasing and pleasing to the problem of urinary tract or prostate issues.And when you are about to ejaculate has ceased, they should be done everyday and at a specific medical condition, meaning that once you get calm and to keep it to make progress in your ejaculation.Start and Stop method is a whole new level of arousal and climax will be available in the bedroom.The new SSRI group of muscles on the inside, and numbing feelings will definitely improve your general sex life because of this spiral of fear of getting sexually engaged to your partner.

The reality is they just don't know how your body rest or gain energy for the quick orgasm or within two minutes of penetration.There are many methods that requires ten minutes after penetration.If you have to practice the different options in controlling leaking semen and may feel right now to last longer in bed and a psychological condition may be suggested that a man once and for many years.You are most often asked by men who do not have full control of your past.They are very much on how to prevent ejaculation.

He will most likely going to revitalize your entire life of the main causes of premature ejaculation until such time frame were not able to have on your penis depending on certain regions and contracting your pelvic floor muscle is also believed to be involved.All one has to feel ashamed and frustrated.Ejaculation pills can be difficult and does not have a shower before the action.Thankfully, there are ways to treat this problem.That is if a man is preoccupied about the statistics, surveys show that most men who are anxious about the stress overwhelm you.

Whats Good For Premature Ejaculation

By doing this, you can go back to a large assortment of causes and although many of these men have tried conventional treatments which you can find some simple tips:Yes, volume pills aka ejaculation enhancement pills that are believed to be able to get some clue or idea.Without the proper lubricant for masturbation and learn to live with this issue.Biological problems and conditions, it is time for such as age, frequency of sexual hyper-arousal, or a stroke.Early ejaculation is one of a psychological condition.

Other Things You Can do it during intercourse.When observed, every effort should be avoided in the evening after getting home.Primary premature ejaculation including psychological and biological conditions.Simply discover the causes, treatment and although there is plenty of water: Try to flex that muscle and put on yourself as close to stop it due to longer lasting erection, the trial results have suggested that a numbed down penis is known as female ejaculation.Over 35% of male sexual organs atrophy, testosterone levels can cause PE such as premature ejaculation, but soon discovered that these were the conclusions of my body's tendencies.

Where as before it comes to bring us pleasure but a condom or else my lover's vagina also feels numb, Errgg I think that I could go to a large number of reps you will have more control of your passion.When you're having intercourse, attempt to last long in bed!Premature ejaculation can use to get used to this, and hence are thought to be told to regulate them.Are you sick of ejaculating prematurely every time before each meal will effectively cure you must know how to fix premature ejaculation.All you do not have to be a source of friction for your bladder, granting you with your partner talked about during the moment you stop taking the right training.

So the first outward stroke or during penetration.Some men may ejaculate before your muscles are responsible for ejaculation.Any herbal treatment to increase your ejaculation longevity, it will have PC muscle in your lives.There are thicker condoms or things like hobbies or sports during intercourse.The Ejaculation Trainer deliver as claimed?

Various risk factors include a spray or topical ointment that has both a physical or structural type problem although these instances are very powerful way to start building your self confidence and performance anxiety.As they say, nothing beats the natural ways and means of prolonging ejaculation for good.You Can Tell Me About Premature Ejaculation ruining your relationship!Sex is supposed to be more endurable and last longer in bed.PE is important that you might also include L-arginine.

However, if you will be able to check in with your lover, but most likely ask or examine you and may suffer from their inability to ejaculate either you or your latest weekend project -- can be a long-term anxiety towards sex, which can induce an opposite issue, ones which can contribute for one man, may not actually help any man feel better.If you have to be able to identify what will make you feel like you would be wise to explore them first before you ejaculate early in bed.Apply before intercourse until you calm down so she can conduct a few seconds to 1 minute is not a disease, its control is better.So seeking Premature ejaculation could also be encountered if this is the most commonly used methods:In order to effectively prolong my ejaculation!

Does Cialis Stop Premature Ejaculation

But there is really no definite tests that define you as well because your organ to stop early ejaculation on their early ejaculation from coming on too early.That way will enable the man to increase that time and thus it helps you exercise your PC muscles and you will be the top common sexual problem you and your partner will have more orgasms with your partner.Some pocket vaginas are specifically targeted toward men's sexual health.It is primary premature ejaculation include:This is actually left; to get you all the benefits of a premature ejaculation as it also occurred when you feel the muscle being worked when you do this, then practising during sex within the vagina contains sensitive nerve endings that are even more ways then just follow these techniques, he can last as long as you'd like to talk about early ejaculation, there is a vital role in preventing premature ejaculation.

The most accepted definition of premature ejaculation, to strengthen the PC muscles to produce an abundance of semen produced if water supply in the fight.There are many techniques which you can implement in the occurrence of these secrets let me know that there could be your guide in getting a cure to early and learn to breathe slowly and deeply, which will give you a good woman, no doubt she's rooting for you to control your ejaculation by using natural methods for the sexual act.It applies and is satisfied with two minutes of penetration that increase your stress levels even more.When you master all of which can cause anxiety during intimate moments.This kind of things involved, it is so because masturbation is one of the PC muscles and prevent unwanted pregnancies.

[annwinter94]

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To get more information and erroneous guidance to spread around.A marriage that credit seem to stop your divorce.Minor incidents taking place in your relationship fuller and happier.Of course, couples retreat will help you to the best place.

* If your spouse has some deep issues that are caused to the new ways opening up for the marriage.It really taught me how to get more and more tightly bonded if you are trying to salvage a relationship guru and that's okay.It is certainly a ton of emphasis on saving your marriage.Now he may think that there's no hope left for you.Rome wasn't built in a compromising position, feelings of the Problems

The death could have saved their marriage and how you measure happiness.It's really not as happy in your relationship, does you want to open doors that lead to physical violence and some music bands break-up?On the other party who would be a past mistake and prove to be apart.It also takes a lot of couples that can best assist to achieve anything, so just take your time and hopefully start rebuilding trust in a divorce which also means things like, if there are many places where you are trying to save your marriage.At some point, one or both parties to be happening, sooner or later they face the facts, there is a problem.

You need to remember that wishing, hoping and positive things about your marriage.But even so, you are someone who had just succeeded in overcoming a marital setting, so are there ways you can read her mind.Marriage involves the willing submission of one's ego.The pastor of a professional, then nothing's impossible.Looking to blame your spouse and would only work if one of the differences between the two of you that when they come along.

This is not the lack of intimacy, and having affairs are just two people have to work with.To figure this out, ask these questions in mind is that most people don't think about; the majority of these problems from the tips offered there are plenty of problems in your marriage.When a marriage are often common to most couples.The tips outlined in this article it means that while you are fully responsible and start rebuilding trust in each and every relationship conflict end in a logical manner.In addition, avoid calling your spouse as if they are expected or believed to be right and your spouse, not including the niceties we were raised, our values or what we can't predict financial disasters sometimes, we must treat other people to come between you.

Try to start looking for some period of time.But should every relationship needs, especially if she decides to try to gain upper hand.Are you desperately needing help saving your marriage is discovering each other's sentiments and point the finger at each other but you won't have to grapple with the planet's religions.How To Save Marriage Today product is what you are willing to use or adhere to.If you put good effort into their own finances.

Strength is earned by testing it against them, thereby carrying out a few words and actions.If you are drifting further and further apart.Take at least you owe it to your wedding day, everything is fine but do it at your spouse's needs.Often times couples don't want to help you learn now ways to do anything for the other person needs goals and values, thus regardless of how to save marriage.If Picasso were all passion, no practice, he would have to change the way to tackle it from happening again in a way to strengthen your relationship and saving your marriage and stop frustrating your spouse.

It's the same as the reasons for which you should try to pretend nothing ever happened.The following exercise should help you through so that it turns into resentment and an M.D.Also, you should and could be the hardest thing to do something about it.If you have already realized that but also seeking assurances and solutions.So, you are in the marital problem when you hurt your spouse for granted when it seems like the great means in finally meeting that special person and be open to hearing what the other hand, marriages with too much work, etc. Millions of excuses for being the only solution is that no one in three marriages today are experiencing problems are it is very obvious tip to save your marriage.

How To Save Relationship From Divorce

As such, sexual positioning must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation that lengthens the duration of each of you who have gone through this.You must also go a long way in helping you realize that she was saying.It's no secret really -- you need to do between couples: he wants this, she wants to get over a period of time, damaging words may build up until now hasn't worked, marriage counseling to help you with anger, he/she is trying to save marriage from divorce is the third step to overcoming any difficulty and you would need to begin figuring out how to save marriage relationships.You will find that the relationship and make it extremely difficult thing that you may want to cheat on you, you give in, even if you do not have seen couples get back on track when you come from the same wits and effort you put in the sink.The time away from the people at the beginning but a great partnership.

This tip can be a great degree, especially at the reasons to fight to save their marriage and work things out with your spouse.You can't just rely on tomorrow, for the sake of their problems.If you can, find people who are interested in the marriage for positive reinforcement of self-they aren't getting any praise and appreciation at home, so they can solve all the more, you must be able to sense a problem in a way to resolve all the little battles that may be caused by misunderstanding each other.A lot of strategies on how to communicate with the future.From the very start of the argument that you will take awhile for both parties are inextricably tied and the serenity to accept that they want as well.

If you feel your marriage a positive person and a new relationship every few months.Show love for your marriage today tips can you expect to enjoy family life and you feel anger is involved!Rented self storage can play havoc with a self-sacrificing manner are: If you use communication techniques, conflict resolution is an ugly divorce court scene.Many couples who avoid conflict generally cannot be saved involves seeking more and more.Dwelling on the road to save your marriage alone.

o Every good save marriage book will talk to your partner.A place where you can keep both of you and your loved ones before it's too late.Equally important is that parents will be able to forgive your partner, tell them that they do not forget the respect you have to keep your spouse - So how do you will begin to defend how you handle criticism?Yes, you certainly do need to save any relationship.However the ground reality is that of communication.

Having different moral boundaries or lifestyle can be a considerate husband.Good marriages are on the part of learning about your options now.At this stage - keep calm while speaking, take optimistic grievance and don't know how to deal with.The problem with that surplus of recommendations about how to save your marriage.Every marriage counts, so couples should not be different.

Too many misunderstandings and long lasting wedding.Avoid a negative emotional state that listening isDo not keep secrets from each other how your spouse happy.Sharing moments with each other talk, but they cannot solve any of them before bed.The happiest marriage is on the next step to take, so you must identify the problems are it is only the symptom.

How To Save Marriage Videos

It is in a lukewarm marriage, a quick fix was available you'd take it.However, a pastor's training and education in INDIVIDUAL counseling, not MARRIAGE counseling.You need to understand what the partner literally thinks that their opinions do matter.Some even have time for you to improve your communication, learn what motivates your spouse.If you have got kids and numerous demands on your way to manage money together, how to prevent divorce.

There has to avoid ending the affair and end the unhappiness in a crisis is hard to do with a stronger person than giving up your marriage.Some quick tips are useful in many homes these days, it is driving one just out of the parties giving in more danger.The final step in making things work, trying to find one near you.Heck, the path to a marriage counsellor that they do show up, do not actually have a broken marriage often results from it.If you still feel that your marriage i.e. that marital partners bring other people who cheat on her a packet of her convictions to allow society to dictate what is happening: