#just not very happy with whatever the hell happened to those lungs wtf | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sutare-chan · 4 years ago

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Ao Jumonji’s Roman, pt.4

a piece of Noël nr 7 Noël works in a bar now. He's very polite and responsible. He doesn't close the bar while there're still clients, even if they're too late (and not even start to tidy up before they leave). His chief doesn't get it: why wouldn't Noël want to end his workday earlier?.. Anyway, the chief himself isn't nearly as hardworking, so Noël additionally does have to close the doors (which is usually not the barman's task, but chief just leaves before him x3) and take the keys to the chief's house and drop them to his mailbox. With a boss like that the bar isn't doing very well, as you may assume =P Noël doesn't really have any ambitions there either, but he works properly. And, like, the bar is called Rapa Bar (after an island in the Pacific), and there's of course its special drink. Which is pretty shitty actually, but Noël secretly made his own recipe of the thing, a better one. Although when it's not Noël's shift the drink is still as bad as it used to be. That particular night Noël was getting the keys to his chief's house, as usual. When he was going back home it was nearly dawn already. Noël looked up in the grey sky and sighed, when suddenly a voice called him. That was Kurikigawa Kakehiro, his old school friend! My, my, what a meeting! Kurikigawa was going home after he was drinking booze with some of his acquaintances, when he suddenly spotted and recognized Noël (they haven't seen each other ever since the middle school). Kurikigawa's a bit drunk and more than happy to see Noël, while Noël seems sort or indifferent (or rather not really getting wtf is going on x3). Still, he follows Kurikigawa when he invites him to have a gyudon and a chat. We learn that Kurikigawa's working somewhere already, while Noël decided to go for a university (Kurikigawa says it's no wonder, since Noël always had brilliant scores in school, but apparently Noël doesn't remember that at all). Kurikigawa also asks how's it going with music. Noël doesn't play in a band, but Kurikigawa understands that at least he's still playing and that overfills him with joy. He also tells that Noël really shouldn't have played together with those less dedicated than himself: "You know, <...> I wouldn't have been surprised at all if you had started a professional career by now. Or would I?.. Yeah, I guess I would, like, wow! How can that be and such. You do have a talent, I've always believed that. And I would often think: "that guy's different". I don't have a talent, you see. Okay, maybe I do, but not for music, that's for sure. But I understand. I mean... see, if even I have goosebumps when I hear it, that guy must be a genius. I dunno. But I believe so. I mean, about you. That you're a genius. Geniuses are different, you see? You probably hated playing together with us. Like, why can't we understand such simple things. That's so easy, why are they so stupid? You couldn't understand that it was beyond us, could you? Nah, I dunno, really. At least it seemed so. I thought you were a genius. Like, already back then. What about you? Haven't you thought that?" "Not really". "I see." "The sound", - Noël touched his temple with a finger. "I can hear the sound. Over here. But no one else seems to hear it." "Well, of course not if it's inside your head." "But when I play it on instruments, they do." "Duh." "That's how it is." "Nah, I don't get it." "You don't?" "So what? Noël, that's no game for you, is it? Like hell. Hrm, how do I put it... That comes from your heart, right? You used to take this stuff very seriously. We weren't, for us that was just a way to look cool. Like, girls like that stuff. Fashion. <...> But you weren't like that. Were you?" "I wasn't". <end of quote!> When Kurikigawa gets sleepy, they go home, but Kurikigawa promises to come and visit Noël at the bar. When Noël comes home (he's renting a small flat for his own now) he doesn't go to sleep. Instead he turns his old PC on and opens a music-making program. And remembers Kurikigawa's words. Talent, he says, huh... 9. UTSUKUSHIKIMONO My problem with retelling this one is that it's mostly dialogues, which is fantastic, but hard to sum up x3 I'll try my best though. Ok, so it all starts with the small Monica asking her parents whenever is she going to meet the baby. It's when the spring comes. When comes the spring? It's when the almond tree blooms. What are almond flowers like? They're pink. What's pink? It's a color, brighter then red but not white. How's that even possible? Oh come on, Monica, you'll see it when the spring comes. When comes the spring? OH MONICA. Monice is, like, 3 years old (or turning three soon) and she can't wait. And one day the shit happens! Her mom suddenly feels bad (oh no!), her dad's all nervous and he says that they can only pray in the wait for the baby. Wait, is that the baby coming?.. Anyways, they do pray, and ah! Soon a servant is calling them to mom's room and there's the baby!!! OH WOW!!! In the following episodes we watch Monica and her little brother (I saw a beautiful assumption that he should be called Rolland, and that's how I'm going to call him) grow up step by step. In the beginning he's, like, still a baby, and in the next episode he's around 3 years old, while Monica is 6 (and it will be up to Monica's 13 or 14, I believe). He's asking why is it cold when autumn comes. She answers that's because winter is real soon. Is winter even more cold than autumn? It is. What comes next? It's spring - and then summer. Is it always repeating like that? It is! Why is it? No idea. How come you don't know, Monica? I dunno D= That must be God's doing. God is cool, isn't he... He is! Monica decides that next time she sees a priest she's going to ask how come seasons spin around and whether it's God's doing. And one more question: why is that her brother still can't walk? D= The next extract Monica's around seven, Rolland is about 4, I guess. She's going to school already and tells Rolland whatever they're doing there. Like, they're learning how to spell words. Rolland, do you know how to spell the word elephant? I don't, why? There's only one right way to do that, like they do in the books. Oh, I see - and what if you make a mistake? The teacher will scold you. And that's all? o.O You know how embarrassing it is to get scolded in front of your friends! No idea, it's not like I had any. How'bout me? O.o You're not my friend, you're my sister. Then they discuss what friendship is and how it differs from family. After a while Monica just says that when Rolland is old enough to go to school, she'll carry him on her back (spoiler: no, that's not happening). It gets nastier from the next episode on. The two are singing a funny French song, this one - https://youtu.be/aJVN8wHXz68 That's actually a song about a girl named Michele who's lost a cat. She cries and wants her cat back. And an old man Lustucru says he knows where the cat is. He asks, however, whatever his award will be. Michele promises him a kiss, but Lustucru doesn't want that and says he's sold her can to get himself a rabbit 8) Yes. That's an existing old French song about Michele and a cat. I thought it was SO cool that Jumonji-san actually managed to find it 8D So, as I said, the two were singing this song when suddenly Rolland started to cough. Apparently that was way too much of a stress for his lungs. He doesn't want to keep silent though and soon he asks what size cats are (he's never seen one). Monica tells a story about seeing a giant cat in the streets. Rolland doesn't really believe her, but tells that if she manages to draw it, he will trust the image. It's decided, then: Monica's asking their dad to buy her everything necessary to draw. Aren't just pencils enough? No they are not - Monica does want to make the picture credible!!! The next time Monica's found some new entertainment, which is a brand new (okay, not brand but rather new) instrument from Germany, a harmonica! She isn't playing too well yet, though, but Rolland is still fascinated. He also tries to play it a bit himself, but only a bit. After that he goes back to reading. He's in the middle of some new book, "Around the world in 80 days". Monica's never heard of that book, so she's asking what it’s about. She's really surprised by the plot and by the main character who basically made a rather meaningless bet for all of his fortune and tells that people like that can only be found in the books. To that Rolland notices that for him people in the books and real people outside the house are more or less the same. The children are growing little by little. In the next episode Monica and Rolland are discussing some of Monica's school fellows. There's that boy, Gerome, all so sassy and ready to fight. He seems clever though. Rolland says that the boy must feel lonely because no one really understands him, and even though he seems to have a lot of friends, none of them are as smart as he is, so he must feel really lonely (duh, no parallel with Noël, what are you talking about? x3). That seems right, and Monica's amazed how smart Rolland himself is. He knows so many things, and that's without really leaving home! That's because he's reading a lot of books apparently. As if his head had wings inside and was flying around, while his body was lying home. Now that's a creepy image... Speaking of creepy things, Monica tells that not a long ago their dad had a mysterious guest, who told his name was W. That W wanted their father to find a particular item, which is, in fact, a sculpture of the famous artist, Auguste Laurant. Funny enough, that statue, the so-called "Angel" is unknown. W has also asked to report it, if the father comes across a person with the name M... Remember Monica started to draw? Well, apparently that got more or less serious. She's making oil paintings, now. Her easel stands in Rolland's room, so she can draw there, while Rolland would read another book. Monica isn't completely sure though, whether she likes to draw or to play with the tools more (Auguste wouldn't have approved that for sure!). She's mostly drawing landscapes. That summer her father decided to go on a trip to the town of Étretat (that one is real, by the way!), and he took Monica, too. She didn't feel like going for more than a day, though, because she didn't want to leave Rolland behind (although Rolland wanted her to go see the world, too!). So, Monica did travel together with her dad after all (but only for one day!). She's always taking a sketchbook with her so that she could draw whatever she likes. There, in the town which is situated by the sea, she found a spectacular place to draw the landscape. Later her father told her that the famous artist Claude Monet used the same angles to picture that place [a series of paintings, google "claude monet etretat"]. Monica had never heard about that artist before so she actually felt offended that she unconsciously copied someone else's idea. She sighs about that even when she's sitting in front of her easel in Rolland's room, making oil-paintings out of those sketches. She says she doesn't want others' fame, she wants her own, even if it's a modest one x3 Rolland encourages her in a rather touching manner, which I'm too lazy to explain in detail. They go on with their business - Monica's drawing, Rolland's reading, when suddenly she notices he hasn't been turning pages in a while. At first she frightens that he doesn't move at all, but then she notices he's breathing after all, but he’s fallen asleep. She thinks about how she wants to do everything for him but how Rolland wouldn't appreciate that. She wakes him up and he wants to continue reading. He wanted to complete this book by evening. She tells him not to strain himself. He nods but goes on reading anyway. After that his health is going even worse. He can't sit anymore and he usually doesn't have the will to change his lying position. As the spring approaches, he's beginning to act a bit weird. Like, when the almond tree blooms, he has a talk with Monica, and he tells her about a similar tree that grows in Japan, which is sakura. "Japan is pretty far away" [Monica says] "People are good at getting far away." "You can sail very far on a ship. Papa told he's been to India!" "Some day..." Rolland's coughing was now really worrying Monica, and she started to caress her brother's back. He didn't like it when she was doing this. She knew that, yet she couldn't help doing it anyway. "...some day it will become possible to fly there on a plane." "No way." "But that's true!" "But why on plane and not on a flying balloon?" "I think people will be flying on planes in USA and Japan... Some day." "Tell whatever you like, I just can't imagine that." "Can't you?" "I can't." "I wish I could fly..." <end of quote> Seems like something's bothering Rolland a lot, and he seems very anxious, but he doesn't utter a word, he hesitates before even asking anything, and then he just asks Monica to play harmonica a bit. At summer he sees a dream. Of a clear sky, just like it is right now. How come he knows it was a dream? That's because he was walking there. Not really walking, because he wasn't moving his legs. More like moving along some path. Monica said that perhaps he was flying, just not very high up in the air. Rolland asks her to play harmonica again. She doesn't want to let off his hand, because it feels like letting go a small bird that will get away immediately. But she does, anyway. When autumn comes, they are lying together at night and watching up the starry sky. Rolland doesn't seem to like autumn, because it means that winter comes real soon. He's also afraid to sleep. Because he's afraid he wouldn't wake up again. Monika says it will be alright and she will always be there to wake him. "It's so silent..." "Should I play for you?" "But it's night" "It's fine, I'll be quiet" "Alright" "Rolland.." "What is it, Monica?" "All of the world is yours!" Rolland smiled, although only a bit. Monica didn't know as many words as Rolland did, and she wasn't good at composing poems, although she was trying her best. She felt she was unable to express what she meant to say. "Really!" she added before starting to play. To that Rolland only answered: "Is it?" In winter Monica was happy to see some first snow. But when she took a bit of it to show Rolland, he acted all indifferent. It seems like he's fighting something without showing a single sign. But he does suffer. He also feels that he's stealing everybody's time and doesn't even want everyone to celebrate Christmas with him. "Monica, leave me be. I'm fine!" "But I'm not. I don't wanna stay alone." "But I do. <...> Even without you, I know the world is full of beautiful things." "Yeah, I don't even doubt that. You know so much." "I close my eyes and I see beauty." "That means you can see something I can't" "I even like autumn!" "Haven't you told you didn't?" "I... don't hate it. You see, even those scarlet and golden leaves you are gathering are my treasure. I wish autumn would come again. <...>" "It's soon. But first it will have to become warmer, the hot summer will pass, and then it will get cooler again". "That's too long... <...> That's too long for me." Soon after that his condition gets even worse. His lips and nails get pale and dark. His voice almost disappears and he breathes heavily. He's asked Monica to bring all of her paintings, and they're now hanged on the walls. When he can keep his eyes opened, he looks at those. That wasn't for long though. When the almond blooms again, Rolland can't open his eyes anymore. His eyelids only tremble a bit from time to time, it feels like he's unconscious. A nurse is getting invited to the house, and that woman tells Monica that she can clearly see that her brother is delighted to hear her play harmonica. He certainly can hear it, even though he's unable to talk. Monica chats with him a lot, imagining what he would answer to her, and from his face she seems to see whether she guessed it right or wrong. Soon Rolland passes away. He clearly said "How beautiful" just before that. She doesn't call him but once. Because she knows he's on his way to other horizons in his search for beautiful things. This world was way too beautiful to spend all of his time fighting. So why distracting him by calling his name? She only kisses him silently at parting. And that was the last long story, I guess. a piece of Noël nr 8 Noël has successfully graduated and become a teacher. That was sort of lucky, because he's taking the place of a certain woman who suddenly took her maternity leave. We see Noël at his first day at school, how he's being presented to the children. And my, my, that's quite something XDDD He freezes seeing all the children faces, and an unknown melody starts to play in his head. He's delighted and he can't properly process his own thoughts at the moment. The teacher that was accompanying him tried to present him to the class, when Noël thought he was grown-up enough to do it himself, so he put a finger upon his lips and said: "shhhh!" to the teacher x3 After that he's getting acquaintanced with the class. "Noël... sensei?.." "What?" Noël answered, and then he realized it wasn't supposed to be phrased that way. "What is it?" "May I ask you something?" "You're welcome to. You may ask whatever you want. I will answer any question I can." "What about the questions you can't answer?" "I won't answer them" "Aah..." some of the pupils (three of them, to be exact) answered. <...> "I won't be answering questions that I cannot answer. But I promise I won't tell you a single lie" "You won't?" a girl asked seriously. She looked elder than her age, as if she was in the middle school already, and she didn't bother to stand up. Her voice sounded somewhat sassy, too (although that's no wonder if she had suffered from someone's lie). "I won't". "What if you do?" "I'll entrust you my life <...> And I'm not kidding. I mean it. I won't lie to you. I'm always keeping my promises. And I never give promises I can't keep". <end of the quote> He's being asked about his unusual eyes and hair color, and he answers that apparently one of his parents was a foreigner (but he's still a Japanese himself). Then he wins over the class when he's starting to ask their names and gives short commentary on everyone, and promises to remember every single name. But that's not all. After that follows another episode. Noël is visiting a person in a hospital. His grand-mother, to be exact. One and a half year before the described events he finally met her again. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the state to speak anymore. Actually, she's almost dead. She can't eat nor breathe on her own. Her brain-waves are almost extinct. Still he comes to visit her. At first it was very hard for him to not look away in disgust, but he's now used to it. He brought some oranges and, um, tries to let her smell them, hoping that perhaps she can feel something after all. He tells her about his job a bit. And thinks that his gran was always straining herself. Now she's locked herself away from the rest of the world and finally has the time to relax. When at hospital, he can't hear any sounds in his head for some reason. He also wonders if his gran really wants to get distracted by his visits. 10. TASOGARE NO KENJA A woman, Chloe, is walking around an old park. She's deep in her thoughts and not really paying attention to what she's doing. For instance, she's actually alone in a deserted park at night. That could be quite dangerous for a young woman. Yet she doesn't seem to think about that at all. All she does is sitting down a bench near a fountain and preparing herself to cry, muttering from time to time something like "What does it matter now..." She also seems to remember some young man, and that's where she's about to finally let her tears loose, when suddenly a voice interrupts the process: "Bonsoir, mademoiselle". The voice belongs to some mysterious man. I don't think I need to give you the description, but it's important that these clothes of his seem odd to the young Chloe, they seem out of date. His manner of speaking is quite weird, too. But since the language he's talking isn't her mother tongue, she isn't sure whether he has an accent or what. The man asks if he may sit with her. Uncomfortable as Chloe felt, she agreed (she always tends to do the opposite of what she's told, even if that's her voice of reason talking to her x3). The man talks to her and she's starting to suspect he's a stalker. Yet they do speak. The man sees that something is worrying her, but she only tells that she's a foreigner. The man notices that she speaks pretty fluently. That's actually surprising because she only started to study the language at university. Anyway, the only problem she gives away to have is that she has a hard time understanding her neighbours speaking. And feeling a bit lost in this country. Is that really a problem worth making 11 circles around the fountain? Apparently it is. Then the man starts to cite the song, confusing Chloe x3 In the end she does get the formula: 0 = nobody's here 1 = the man = Chloe = him = anyone 2 = the man + Chloe = 1+1 The man also tells his name's Savant. That's not his true name though. Well, she's Chloe. That's not her true name either, but her true name is apparently too difficult to pronounce. Then the two part. Chloe's living in a flat, not the smallest flat possible. Apparently she's a teacher, but since a while ago she doesn't work much. But she can't do anything at her spare time. She just either sits in the sofa or lies in her bed. She can't watch TV nor read books (she doesn't remember a word of what's written afterwards). Hating herself for doing nothing, she tries to compose a letter. But that one gets a mess and she throws it away. There are a lot of photos on the walls. Where the two are happy together... After a week she found herself in the very same park. She meets the man again. They talk. Savant cites the song again and Chloe's getting even more confused by it x3 After he ends the strophe with that "we're locking ourselves", or whatever was the precise quote from the English translation, Chloe thinks of how complicated the links between things are. She remembers how her mother taught her how to knit. Back then she thought it was the most boring thing ever: to interweave threads by always repeating the same movements... "Alright" Chloe nodded. "I'll try to explain". "You have my full attention" <...> "Here's me." "Yes, here's you". "Yup, right, me. And there's another person." "Me, I assume?" "No, not you", Chloe put her hands on her tummy. "Inside myself" "Hrm", Savant said, twisting his mustache. "In other words, your child?" "That's right, Savant. <...> Right. But there's no father" "Are you virgin Mary?" "Unfortunately not. Not that I had any issues with that. You see, the person that was supposed to become his father isn't here." "Isn't here anymore?" "He's gone forever" "That's sad" "It is. At least I'm very unhappy about that." "To give birth to a baby and raise it all alone. Well, that happens of course, but that's still rather troublesome." "That happens" "I guess so" "A lot, actually" "Yeah, you must be right." "I'm ill" <end of quote> She learned she had a disease after he was gone. And right now Chloe did burst into tears without even noticing it. Savant gives her a handkerchief and leaves. The next scene is taking place at a doctor's consulting room. Amara, Chloe's doctor, is telling her the situation, which's pretty nasty. She has cancer, stage III. There's still hope, but she will have to do an abortion. She asks for some more time to think about it. By the way he calls her by the real surname, which is Kuroeda. Soon after that she's having a conversation with Savant again. I don't really see the point in retelling this conversation in detail, really. I only have to mention that this reflects some motifs from Honoo (see above). They're talking in mathematical terms again. But Chloe thinks all those formulae aren't really applicable here. After all, 1+1 doesn't necessarily equal 2. It can be 0, if both she and the child die. But as the conversation goes on, she starts to realize that the truth is really hidden everywhere. Like, when it seemed like the time stopped in her conversation with Savant, she could still hear the fountain's sound. That means the time hasn't really stopped. The truth is, that even if the fountain steadily holds the same shape, the water is always different and the time never stops. It flows in one direction. We will all perish. 0+0=0, there's nothing. But if you accept the night when you have to go, the child will love the life too, right? No one else except her can give birth to this particular child, to whom she sort of addresses a monologue: "Even though a morning has come for you, there will inevitably be a night after that. Even if you see a light like a flame and stretch your hand to get a hold of a gem. Even if a windmill goes on spinning around on the windy hill by the place where you fall to the ground. Even though there will be stardust blinking above your head. Even if you manage to see an angel's smile. There might be days when you embrace happy and beautiful dreams, and days when you will be intoxicated by wine. Wandering, you will meet a wise man like I did [!!], and he will help you getting the true meaning of the message scattered all around the world... And in the end you'll set to the journey to the horizon. You're the same". Resolved, she stands up from the bench, she straightens her spine and goes away. <sudden twists incoming!!> Savant's still sitting on the bench and smiling, as if he's really-really pleased. Suddenly he can't hear the water noise anymore. That's because it's too late and the fountain got turned off. He knew and was expecting that. What he wasn't expecting though, is that there will suddenly appear a man with folds on his forehead and say in a weird voice: "I've been searching for you, Christophe". Yes. Christophe is M. That other man is W. They're opposite yet they're the same thing. They're like two shatters of the same poem. W has been chasing M for a long long time. W calls M 'metamorphos', in kanji - "shapeless". M calls W Wulfric, the 'wolf-ruler', and also 'the Winter one'. W wants to kill M. M only laughs, because Wulfric's too late again, anyway. While Wulfric wants to end everything, M knows there's no such thing as an "end". Even if W kills M, it doesn't really change anything. M hopes that W will get it one day. [The human lives]"Repeating the story, death and loss, revolving Paradise and Abyss! Boys keep on drawing romans even when they go. And that's the true essence of Roman!" [M says] "I can't agree with you" "Still I believe we will come to understand each other one day." "Well, you're free to believe that" said Wulfric, putting his finger on the trigger "if you can" <...> A shot banged, and the world continued to be there without any changes. The night passed and a new morning began. Morning and night continued to replace each other. a piece of Noël nr 9 (apparently the longest one of the pieces! oh, and I'll be citing a lot!) Noël's gran is dead and they're holding a funeral. Remember Nuiko, the woman Noël was living by when he was a child? She's also there, moreover, she was mostly in charge for arranging the funeral. Noël is sort of enraptured by how she managed to treat funeral services from the economical point of view (as if it was all about the money). But he also thinks how kind it is of her to process all the stuff for the person who wasn't her mother. She isn't all that heartless he guesses. Her family (i.e. Ryuuetsu and Norio, the other boy I haven't mentioned in the piece nr 3) is there too, along with her husband. That one is standing by the car, though, he isn't coming to the burial itself) and Noël are the only ones who actually made it to the cemetery. While all the others seem quite indifferent and/or bored, Noël's not: "Noël was looking at the gravestone and speaking without a sound: That's all, granny... No, he corrected himself in a second - baba [I don't remember how it was translated by Defade. you know, baba's somewhat ruder than obaa-chan]. That's all, baba. You were put silently to sleep, getting cut off all those pipes - that's no fun, huh? Not that you were any fun at all. Had you regained consciousness, you'd think you want someone to kill you already, no doubt. Although you hadn't. That wasn't really 'life', was it? Yet you were being kept 'alive'. And I was talking to you as if you had been alive. Although I knew it was a lie. Had I had at least a shatter of kindness, I'd get you cut off the artificial breath right off. You must know, I was actually thinking about it, but not that I was considering that seriously, like, weighting pros and cons and such. And I didn't want to, to tell you the truth. I haven't done anything for you. You died all alone. I let you die all alone. Baba. Granny. I'm not apologizing. But I will tell you from the bottom of my heart. I didn't hate you. You were stiff, you lived alone and you died alone, but I don't hate you. I'm proud of you and I have respect for you. And I feel lonely because of your death." <end of quote> Then the weather gets worse and the family decides to leave asap. They're not taking Noël though. Their ways part here. At parting Nuiko tells though that all of the old woman's belongings are in a storage now, and Noël gotta sort them out in the upcoming three days. Noël was rather planning to get rid of all of them, but the old man on the encounter advised him to take a look at least. And so Noël did. There weren't many things, but there were some. Some old drawer for example, but we'll come to that later. Noël spots a bag he can remember his gran wearing back in piece nr 1, He actually tries to copy her manner to walk with that bag. And thinks how it seemed so cool and so warlike, as if she were fighting the whole world. He thinks again that he didn't hate her. He doesn't have the right to say that he loved her, though, because he did nothing. Had he loved her, he would hug her and try to be her ally in this fight against the world. Well then, the drawer. Some meds in the upper shelves, no papers (Nuiko must've taken those already), an old kimono with a nostalgic scent he could remember from his childhood. Then finally the bottom shelf. Some photoalbums (Noël wants to take a closer look at the old photos and decides to take those), postcards from random people - nothing special. And finally three letters all written by the same person from different places. Two are just envelopes, but the last one still has the letter inside. Noël takes that one. Seems very old, and it's been reread so many times that it got really decrepit by the bends. It also seems as if it's been under a rain or something, the paper's all wavy. It's hardly readable though. Except for one last line. You know which. Following - a passage about how shitty is the world and how so many bad things are happening, and how life is not priceless but worthless, and how there die a lot of people every second. But no one wants to notice this. Because that's tough. People aren't allowed to be kind to other people or they'll break. "He was never creating illusions that anyone wanted his birth. He just couldn't imagine that. Because he had had such a miserable life. Because he was feeling lonely. Because he was feeling sad. Because he had pitied himself. He wanted to hate! To hate from the bottom of his heart, to be rude, to destroy. Then he would have forgotten how miserable he was. There would be no more loneliness or sadness. But, unfortunately, he pitied himself. Perhaps he was an unwanted child, yet he valued himself. And he wanted to think that it's fine that he's allowed to live. He wanted to believe. However miserable, lonely and sad his life was, but he was also living it sort of furious and with all his strength. He was grasping and clinging onto it. He tried to love the world. To forgive. And thus to deserve forgiveness. It's fine for me to live, isn't it? Of course it is - that's what he wanted to hear as an answer. At least little by little! Let the others acknowledge his right to live. He isn't bothering anyone. He isn't a threat to anyone. If left in peace, he never does anything bad to anyone. Isn't it fine if he just lives here?" Noël's drinking hard. And keeps remembering those enchanted words from the letter. He thinks that his life wasn't all that bad actually. Like, there's no devastating war. And he does live in a hi-tech country and he has Internet. How amazing is that?! He can upload the pieces of music that are roaming through his head for everyone to hear. Isn't that a salvation? He can't bear it when he's sober so he's drunk pretty constantly. He thinks that it's not like there's a door which one can only go through with a signed license from one's mother that he's allowed to live. No one will ever guess that a child is unwanted unless someone tells that. He's trying to think that his mother didn't mean it perhaps, that it was just a figure, because she felt upset or something... But then, when he tried to speak about that to some strangers, he got into a fight and ended up getting a little beaten and sitting in some side-street, looking at the stars with his lips bleeding. And thinking of how all the stars will vanish, and nothing can help. He can't find the meaning anymore. He thinks he needs to tell that to his pupils. And how much of a shit he was for wanting to use these children to find a meaning for himself. It's Christmas Eve. Noël's drunk again, he's standing in the street, looking at celebrating people. He's smiling and singing Christmas carols. Shit happened. The teacher, who had taken the maternity leave, came back to the school. Her baby didn't survive after all, and she wants to get back to work asap. Noël quits. He can't remember much after that, apparently he was drinking all along. Already drunk, he goes to some bar. It's full packed, and Noël can sort of hear some music there, but he doesn't even seem to realize it's inside his head. There he falls asleep, having ordered a whiskey. When he wakes up he discovers his wallet is gone, so he gets beaten up again by the other customers. He goes away after that and ends up sitting in some side-street, looking at the stars and the freezing white moon with his lips bleeding and a the feeling of deja-vu. He thinks he should just lock in himself and bear this shitty life until he's gone. Without hoping or believing. When suddenly he notices a black figure... After the fated line, "I have heard your music", Noël freaks out and can't understand how it’s possible to establish the link between those pieces he's uploaded and himself. And how come anyone could know he'd be here (he doesn't even know where he is himself). But you know the scenario and which book he's about to receive... The last thing Revo gets to say in this chapter is "Stream your song. You can do that, and you cannot do otherwise". 11. 11-MOJI NO DENGON Chloe-san's back! (she's named in the preface of the chapter with the list of characters, but I don't think her name is mentioned even once in the chapter itself). She's also back to Japan, btw. She's become much skinnier now, and her disease's pretty bad. Still, having put on her jacket which is now too big for her body, and putting on sun-glasses she wanders off from the hospital. Walking through the morning streets, she remembers her messy life. How she fell in love with a foreign student when she was 20, and how mad that love was, and how they didn't want to part for even one moment. At some point she reaches a park and there she sees a fountain with a bench not far from it. There she sits. Her thoughts are getting a bit messy, too. She can't feel much pain, though. Perhaps they should've tried a bit harder to pursue her mother to give them her blessing, but instead they decided to go to his motherland. His adoptive parents weren't really happy to see their boy gave up on his study for some Japanese girl. Moreover, they were in the middle of getting a divorce, too, so they hadn't really helped at all. It could still be pretty fine had she not become pregnant. After that her husband gave up on all the part-time jobs and went to some mining company. Soon enough there was rumored to have been some kind of an accident. She got reported that apparently he died, but no details had been revealed, and soon that company just disappeared in the thin air. Then the news about her illness. How would her life have changed if she had made other decisions? No idea, but at least there's one decision she doesn't doubt. That's giving birth to her child. She felt already pretty weak by that time and even fell unconscious soon after the birth. Well, at least she did manage to meet her mother and tell her the situation personally, and not in some messy letter (which she had sent earlier and which was just really messy). And for the first time in her life she saw her mother crying. She can remember her husband hearing the news. When it was confirmed she's pregnant and would give birth around December, he muttered something like "Winter... or maybe Christmas" - she's remembered both names but couldn't decide for one until she's given the birth to their baby. She would want to apologize personally when you grow up and blame her for leaving you right after you were born. What would you do then? You'd probably laugh. "You probably can laugh by now, can you? I wish I could hear you laugh. See your smile. <...> Say, you would be getting spoiled a bit, right? And loved. You'll come to meet different people. Some will become your friends, you'll fall in love with some others. But it's probably not going to be always just fun. There will be hard times, too. You would be betrayed and wounded sometimes, and you'll injure someone too, I guess. But that'll hit you as well. You'll be regretting it and think about that a lot, and you'll be failing some tasks. Sometimes you'll be in pain. You will be for sure. But you know what? When that pain becomes unbearable, you may just squat down. And feel like you want to run away a bit. But if you can, I would like you to face your hardships bravely. I think at times you really need courage to live a life. Never give up, alright? Whatever may be, never give up. Don't give up until your last day. Because that's a no go. Because that's your life. <...> Please don't ask me what kind of a life I wish you would have. Just live as you feel it. No, really, please do! You are born already, isn't that alone great? But I beg you. Please do live. I want you to live. Don't forget that. Remember. You are born because I really wanted you to be. I'm so glad I gave you life. I'm so glad I gave life to you. I miss you. I miss you so much. I wanted to come, but apparently that's too far. So far... I'm sorry. I can't really see anymore. I guess there's almost no time left. But I can still hear the fountain. So dark. You face... Laugh! Please. Laugh. I want to see you, but... I want to keep an eye on you, but... alas. Rin to ikinasai [sry x3] And I hope you... b-e-c-o-m-e-h-a-..." <end of the quote> We see "you" from the beginning again. You turn around to see a gate, and both Violette and Hortense are standing there, not uttering a single sound. They don't tell you what to do. Yet you step forward. a piece of Noël nr 10 Very unusual language-wise, but sorry, that's getting completely neglected x'3 We're in the beginning of a live. Noël's all excited. When will it finally begin? It's all dark, because the lights are off. Finally they go to the stage. Spectators can sort of feel and see by the little light they do have that the musicians are on the stage already, so they're getting overexcited. Noël just can't wait. He's putting a lot of effort not to grasp the microphone yet. And still... When they do begin playing, Noël suddenly doesn't sing 83 The music slowly ceases. Everyone's staring at him (Ichizo's panicking in the backstage). They've been having so many rehearsals. Everything should be fine. Yet there's something he has to do right here and right now. Noël does take the microphone and starts to hold a speech. Translating most of it below. "When we had just met, gurasan said something to me. That "musicians' souls are free". Musicians'. I was sitting there all down, and he suddenly called me a musician. He acknowledged me as an equal to himself. Well yeah. Apparently I am a musician. <...> I'm not a good talker, really, but I can tell everything I want with music. <...> Then why am I standing here and blabbering instead? Listen. Gurasan said that musicians' souls were free. But does that apply solely to musicians? You know what. Freedom isn't easy. You can't gain it just like that. You can't even feel it just like that, actually. But you know what. Just think. Close your eyes and think. Of whatever you want. Of whatever comes to your mind. Like, of your beloved being, for example. A reminiscence. Whatever. Got it? Were you free at that moment? The soul's freedom isn't something that only musicians have. You are all free <...> I am a musician. Gurasan's right, damn my poor destiny. It's been following me ever since I was a kid. That's my fate. If you're a musician you can't run away from that <...>. But even though I'm a musician, I'm also a human. Just like you guys. Our life is much like a journey. A long or a short one, that depends on a person, but we are all wandering. We are heading to another horizon. Some of us walk under the very same sky and see and hear the very same things. Our ways cross and part. We're all wanderers. You and I - we're all free wanderers. That's what I wanted to begin with. Not as a musician. That's where my free journey begins. I'm no different from you. At all. Yes, I'm standing at this place and I do mean it. Well okay, perhaps I can see a bit better from this spot up here on the stage. I can see every one of you, every face. And you're all staring at me. It feels so weird, you know. Why am I standing here? <telling short of his meeting with Revo and finding the musicians> What about yourselves? How come you're here? Huh? What? Who said that? Could you please repeat, I couldn't hear. Ah... by chance, you say? Because you were born in this country at this time? Thanks for giving me life, mother? I see. No, really, give my shitty thanks to your mom, please. That's how it is, isn't it? We all get born to begin with. Someone's giving us a life. There are different circumstances, and very complicated ones, too, I can't agree more. But we did end up getting born. Whatever may be, we're all here right now. We're different, yet we're the same if you think about it. Me, you, us, here and now. And that's the point. Have you experienced something fun lately? Or something sad perhaps? Something hard? It wasn't in vain. It's all our roman. What is your way like? Is it comfortable? Full of dead-ends? Do you have to reverse all the time? And then onwards, with the gas pedal down? You feel like your legs are all broken? You try your best? Ah, that one's nice. What? You can't hold anymore? Yes, that happens too. Listen, wanderers. Fellows. Friends. Like-minders. You may as well be me. We may be different but we have the same roots. One day I will cross a completely different horizon. And even if we're born in the same country and in one century, we still see different landscapes and experience things differently. <...> But we're here and now. Our horizons have linked. Having met you guys, I acknowledge the way that led me to this meeting. And I can't help valuing myself. And you too, obviously. Well then, wanderers. Soon we will take off again, but as for now - let your wings rest a bit. Listen to my song. Listen to our play. Feel it with your body. Our roman. Vanishing Starlight. Yodaka no Hoshi..." This blinking star will vanish one day, but me [ore], and me [boku] and you, and all of you, and we will continue our journey across the horizon where morning and night revolve. Because there's roman there. (the end.)

#sound horizon #ao jumonji #roman #vanishing starlight #hetare-sutare

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lindafrancois · 6 years ago

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Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. To salsa music. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide to Mental Health, and if this is something you’re interested in please consider it!

Note: if you really struggle with depression/anxiety, speaking with a mental health professional could be a game-changing experience. Please do so as soon as you can!

WHY THIS WORKS: I used to be afraid to ask for help, assuming I had to know all the answers on my own. Or that people relied on me to be the happy-go-lucky person and I wasn’t allowed to be unhappy or stressed. And then I grew up.

Now I have no problem asking for help, saying “I don’t know” even if it makes me feel foolish, and I get to a solution MUCH faster!

I know with everything being online these days, it’s easy to spend a lot of time being friendly but not having actual deep conversations with people. This is something I have to work really hard on, as I’d much rather sit at home alone with a book all day and avoid people.

And yet, in most instances, when I’m with friends or loved ones, my day gets much better as a result. And thus, I prioritize saying YES. (Just not too much, so we don’t overload Future Steve.)

Overwhelmed? Do these 8 Things

Okay! This is my 8-step kickstart kickass strategy to dealing with overwhelm and anxiety.

Feel free to hijack these 8 things and the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, take these steps to get unstuck and back on track:

Get an early win

Quick hygiene fix

Watch a 5-minute motivational video

Do the 10-10-10 Protocol

Do the Very Next Thing

Breathe, idiot!

Consume less, produce more

Ask for help

Break this list in case of emergency! Write these down, print it out, design your own checklist and share it with me so I can add it here to the post, whatever you want to do!

You can do this!

I’d love to hear from you: how do you manage overwhelm, and what are the steps you take to get out of that mental quicksand?!

Leave a comment below!

-Steve

PS: This week’s Rebel Hero: Nick T: rocking his new NF Battle Gear!

I can only assume he worked out so hard and flexed so perfectly that he blew the sleeves right off of it 🙂 Nick has been a super supportive member of our community for years and I’m damn glad he’s here.

Want to be the next Rebel Hero? Take a photo of you doing something epic in your NF battle gear, tag us on Instagram with #NerdFitness #battlegear, or email us at [email protected]!

PHOTO SOURCES: All amazing LEGO photos are from Black Zack, whose photos are here on Flickr.

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck. published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

0 notes

almajonesnjna · 6 years ago

Text

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

#Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

0 notes

joshuabradleyn · 6 years ago

Text

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

#Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

0 notes

johnclapperne · 6 years ago

Text

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

#Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

0 notes

albertcaldwellne · 6 years ago

Text

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

youtube

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

#Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

0 notes

kiaradnoblesus · 6 years ago